#anyways though i really hope i'll be able to catch most of them

[ichorousisopod]

hehehehee there's BOXES at ikea..and i got them. and i'm gonna put my powders in one of those 😈

[orcelito]

Honestly sooooooo fucked up that I thought my overwhelming daily fatigue and debilitating body pain was a product of the awful working conditions I was under for years and years... and yet, despite being out of work for half a year now, I'm still so fatigued and in pain all the time??? Like come on man that's not fair

Oh well maybe I have liver disease and they'll treat it and then I am magically so much more energized like I was as a kid. We can only hope !!!!

[skz-bee123]

You fall asleep on them

Stray Kids reaction

Word Count: 6.9K

This has not been edited so if there is any mistakes I'm sorryyy. Anyway I hope you enjoy reading this!

Bang Chan

Chan knew that no matter what you did you would always put 100 percent into it. You would always go above and beyond to prove to only to others but to yourself that you could, and would do it. You never gave up and always gave things a shot. Sure, sometimes things did throw you on the ground but you always, always got back up.

And that was a trait of you that Chan greatly admired.

Normally.

But there were those times that you pushed yourself beyond your limits. Running on only little to no sleep. If you consumed food at all, it was take out and even then most of it would be life to go cold, forgotten as you were too busy doing something.

You were always doing something.

Now don't get him wrong, Chan knew that he could be just as bad at taking care of himself but he knew that despite how hard you were working yourself, you always had time for Chan. To remind him that he needed to take a break, take some time for himself, to clear his mind out.

Yet, Chan never seemed to be able to do the same for you. You kept things to yourself, insisting that you didn't need someone watching over you.

Chan did not want to push you, the last thing he would ever want to do is make you upset but it was the boys saying something to him that he realised that maybe he did need to step in.

"Hyung?"

Chan looks up from where he's sitting on the couch, taking his headphones off with his laptop on his lap. "Yeah?"

The other members of Stray Kids had come over to yours and Chan's place. The plan was to have a movie night and the kids would stay over. The thing was, you still weren't home. And the boys insisted that no movie would be played until you got home.

"Do you know when noona will be back?" Felix asks.

Chan's eyebrows furrow, "what's the time?"

"It's 9:32." Minho holds up his phone with the time for everyone to see.

"I-I'm not sure, she should've already been home by now." Chan says. "I'll try calling her."

Your phone goes straight to voicemail and Chan sighs before shooting you a quick message.

Channie

Hey love, the boys are here waiting for you. It's movie night, remember? Just checking to see when you'll be home.

Love you and be safe.

"She didn't answer but I texted her, she should be here soon though." Chan says as he looks at his members. "Alright what is it?"

"Noona always takes care of us right?" Hyunjin says. "I mean, she always makes sure we're taking a break, that we're eating, and sleeping well."

Chan smiles at that, "yeah she does. She talks about the whole lot of you all the time. She really loves you all."

"We get that and we love her too. I mean don't even get me started on how many times we've all called her eomma, heck, even Minho's done it once." Jisung says which gets a laugh out of everyone and a glare from Minho. "But..."

Jisung didn't need to carry on for Chan to know what he's saying.

"I know, I worry too."

Before anyone can say anything else, the sound of the front door opening catches all of their attention. They hear you sigh before the sound of your dropping your shoes on the ground before they see you walk into the dining room when you put your bag on the table, grabbing the edge of a chair.

You're completely drenched.

You still don't seem to notice that they are all watching you and Chan goes to say something before a choked sound escapes you making him freeze, it makes them all freeze.

They all watch as you start to sob, falling to the ground holding yourself.

"Noona..." Jisung's voice rings out.

The sound makes you whip your head up and you freeze before frantically wiping the tears off your face.

"Oh my gosh, I completely forgot that it was movie night tonight. I'm so sorry, I'll go get changed then we can watch the movie." You say, trying to stand up but end up tripping over yourself. But before you could even hit the ground again, Chan was there, pulling you into his chest.

You try your best but you just end up breaking down. No longer able to hold it together anymore. Chan, holding you tightly, speaks to you quietly enough that the boys can't make out what he says before he lifts you to your feet where he leads you to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you both.

The boys don't speak as they wait and it isn't long until Chan comes back out.

"She's alright, just had a very bad day, it was just too much for her." Chan says.

"Do you, or well, does noona need us to leave? We can do movie night another night." Jeongin asks.

"No, no. She doesn't want you all to leave. I think she'd be more upset if you did." Chan answers.

"Has she eaten?" Minho speaks.

Chan shakes his head, "no, I'll go make her some food now."

Minho stands up, "it's alright hyung, I'll sort out some food. Just go be with her."

Chan hesitates, "are you sure?"

"Yeah." Minho nods, "besides, I'm sure this lot is also hungry again."

"I mean, I could eat again." Changbin raises his hand.

"Of course you can," Minho rolls his eyes, a smile on his face before turning back to Chan. "Go."

It's 30 minutes later that you finally emerge with Chan from your bedroom. You're wrapped up in some sweats and a hoodie that it way too big for you, obviously being Chan's. You look much calmer now, but your eyes show just how tired you really were.

"Noona! Come sit with us?" Felix asks as he points to the spot between him and Jisung. The boys seem to have placed a bunch of blankets around the place and have your favourite movies set up.

You look towards Chan who only gives you a smile and small nod. You walk towards the boys and sit down between them. Felix and Jisung wrapping their arms around you instantly.

You watch as Chan walks into the kitchen, soon coming out with food, followed by Minho who was carrying more food. They lay the food on the table, dishing it out for everyone. Chan hands a bowl of food to Jisung and Felix before grabbing one for you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he sits down on a different couch with Minho.

Everyone starts digging in and you catch Minho watching you out of the corner of your eyes. He doesn't touch his food until you've eaten a couple mouthfuls before digging into his own. It bring a small smile to your face.

After the food is done and bowls have been put away the first movie is put on. You lay your head on Jisung's shoulder as Felix snuggles into your side. You get comfortable then make eye contact with Chan who was looking at you with a smile on his face.

'I love you', you mouth towards him.

'I love you more.'

The next time Chan looks over at you, you're sound asleep, Jisung and Felix too. Chan look s around the room and sees Changbin and Jeongin snuggled together sound asleep, seungmin and Hyunjin still invested in the movie.

"She's gonna be alright." Minho's words catch Chan's attention and he looks at him with a confused gaze.

"With us, I mean. We'll look after her. She's family too." Minho gesture towards you.

"I know." Chan reaches over and pulls Minho into his side, squeezing him tight. Despite the complaints coming from his mouth, Minho doesn't pull away.

Chan smiles to himself as he looks at his family around the room before his gaze rests on you.

Yeah, he thinks to himself.

Everything will be alright.

Lee Minho

It had been a couple days since you had last seen Minho, he had been busy in the studio. Learning new choreography and all that comes with being an idol, left him with little to no time to see you.

Minho had texted you a few hours before, he was supposed to come over to yours but was stuck at the studio, saying that since it'll be late once he's finished he'll just head back to the dorms.

It left you a bit worried and you decided to go over to the studio. Picking up some food along the way.

You quietly open the door, just in case Minho was practising, you didn't want to disturb him. But to your surprise, he was sitting against the wall with a towel over his face, breathing heavily.

You shut the door which catches Minho's attention but he doesn't take the towel off his face.

"Go away." Minho says.

You raise your eyebrows in amusement, obviously the boys have been in, annoying Minho and he thought you were one of the boys.

"Rude, I was bringing you some food too." You say, a smile on your face.

Minho takes the towel off his face and looks at you with surprise.

"Y/n?" Minho says.

You nod your head, "mhm, it's me and I've brought you some food. You sure you want me to go away?"

Minho just rolls his eyes at you before he stands up walking over to you where he gently grabs your waist and places a kiss on your forehead.

Minho, with his hands still on your waist, leads you over to where his stuff is and you both sit down.

You take out the food you brought and dish some out for both you and Minho.

"What are you doing here though? You should be at home." Minho asks after you've both started eating.

"Yeah, but you texted me saying you were gonna be here for the night, so I thought I'd just come and bring you some food. Possibly stay for a bit is that's okay with you?"

Minho smiles and nods his head before picking up his chopsticks and holding them out to you, "eat, you're still in your work clothes, it's obvious you came straight here from work. I'm sure you're hungry and tired as well."

Seeing you not moving, Minho nudges you. "Eat." He says, still holding the chopsticks up to you where you finally open your mouth and let him feed you.

"How was your day?" You ask sometime later after you've both finished eating and you're putting away the rubbish.

Minho just shrugs his shoulders as he watches you walk over to the bin where you chuck away the rubbish. "You?"

"It was tiring but I got quite a lot of things done that I wanted to, so I'm happy with how today went." You reply as you walk back over to Minho where you sit down next to him and lay your head on his shoulder.

"That's good," Minho grabs your hand, playing with your fingers as he speaks. "I'm happy that you're happy with how today went."

"Do you wanna talk to me about what you're working on at the moment?"

Minho starts to tell you about the new dances he was preparing for, not only for the comeback with the boys but also a personal dance too.

You try your hardest to listen to him, you really do. Everything Minho does, especially when it comes to dance, always captivates you entirely. He puts his heart and soul into what he does, it's one of the reasons you fell more and more in love with everyday that passed.

But try as you may, the comfort of your boyfriend's shoulder, the comfort of his hands playing with your fingers, the comfort of Minho's voice as he told you about all the things he was working on was just so warm and made you feel so cosy, so soft, so tired.

It isn't until Minho feels dead weight on his shoulder that he stops talking and looks down at you. You were fast asleep, a little smile on your face.

Minho reaches over to grab his hoodie that was laying on the ground and drags it over you as a makeshift blanket. He notices a bit of your hair has fallen onto your face and softly pushes it behind your ear, trying his best not to wake you.

He knows he needs to get back to practising but at this very moment, your rest, your happiness was much more important to him than dance. Because yeah, Minho loved dance, he wouldn't be who he was right now if it wasn't for dance. But Minho had been slowly coming to the realisation that perhaps he loved you even more. And as scary as that was, maybe, just maybe, that wasn't such a bad thing.

You snuggle in closer to Minho in your sleep and it brings a smile out on Minho's face.

Yeah, that wasn't a bad thing at all.

Seo Changbin

You and 3RACHA had been in the studio for the past couple of hours. It had started off with only you and Changbin, with Changbin working on music and you working on stuff of your own.

It was silent between the two of you but that silence was welcomed. It didn't matter that there was no conversation happening between the two of you because you were together, you were in the comfort of each other's presence.

"Hey babe?"

You look up from your work as Changbin calls for you, "yeah?"

"You mind if Chan hyung and Jisung stop by for a bit? I got a few things I wanna rub through with them."

A smile forms on your face, "of course I don't mind."

Changbin wheels his chair over to you, giving you a kiss before wheeling back and picking up his phone.

You carry on doing your work, getting so focused that you don't hear the door opening, nor do you head Chan and Jisung come into the room.

But hands grabbing your shoulders and someone whispering 'boo', into your ear makes your jump and scream slightly.

You see Jisung back away slowly with his hands up, all three boys chuckling at you. Turning towards Changbin you whack him softly.

"What? Why'd you hit me? Jisung scared you, not me." Changbin whines.

"Yeah but I bet it was your idea and besides, you know I can't stay mad at Jisung."

Changbin catches a proud grin of Jisung's face before turning back towards you with a pout. "But baby."

"Nah ah, you're getting no sympathy from me."

Changbin huffs and you giggle, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

You exchange greetings with the boys before moving to the couch to give them more room to work. The chatter of the boys as they worked was a comforting background noise for you and it didn't take you love before you were finished with your work and just sat there and watched them as they did their thing.

Their way of working was harmonious. They just worked so well together and it was something that you greatly admired about 3RACHA.

Changbin eventually turns around in his seat and notices you watching them, he smiles at you before standing up and making his way over.

"You alright baby? Get your work done?" Changbin says as he sits down next to you, after which you place your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, once I got into it I flew through it pretty quickly."

"Of course you did."

"What about you? How are things going?"

Grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers together, Changbin answers, "pretty good actually, the track is coming along just how we want it to."

"That's not surprising though."

"No?"

"No, it's not, come on, you guys always come up with the most out of world music like it's nothing."

"We are pretty good." Changbin says, looking smug.

You just shake your head at him with a smile on your face. "Well, I was thinking..." you say turning your body so that your back is against Changbin's chest as he pulls you in tighter against him.

"Yeah?" Changbin hums.

"You have a day off this weekend right? Saturday?"

"I do."

"We should have a movie day, or like a self care day? I can order some food and we can just, I don't know, relax together?" You ask, playing with Changbin's fingers.

You feel a kiss being placed on your forehead before Changbin answers, "sounds absolutely amazing babe."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm, I honestly think that it's something that both of us deserve."

"That's true, we have been working pretty hard lately, we deserve a break."

"That we do my love." Changbin agrees with you.

The two of you converse quietly for a little while longer until your words become nonexistent. Jisung turns around in his seat after hearing your talking grow silent. it was weird, but having the two of you softly talking in the background while he worked was oddly comforting. So, not hearing your voices, he turns around to see what was up, smiling when he notices why.

"Oi, hyung." Jisung nudges Chan who takes off his headphone and turns to Jisung.

"Yeah?"

"Look." Jisung points.

Chan follows where Jisung is pointing and sees you and Changbin sound asleep on the couch, cuddled up together.

"Ahh, so that's why they stopped talking." Chan says, voicing Jisung's exact thoughts.

Jisung stands up and grabs the blanket on the side of the couch, the ones that's always kept there for the late nights the boys pull, the ones for when they inevitably fall asleep in the studio.

"Cute, aren't they?" Jisung says as he tucks the blanket over the two of you, turning around to see Chan smiling at them.

"They are, well I guess we should let them rest, we'll wake them up when we're done."

"Sounds good to me."

Hwang Hyunjin

The kids had been looking for the both of you for a little over 10 minutes now. Neither of you were answering your phones and they were starting to panic. The boys had all been sitting in the room together, you had gone off to find a bathroom but did not return back, Hyunjin went off to find you. But after 10 minutes neither of you had come back and they were panicking. 

“Maybe they just got lost?” Jisung questions. 

“Maybe, but then why aren’t they answering their phones?” Chan panics. 

“We’ll wait here for another 10 minutes, if they still don’t return we’ll go look for them okay?” One of the Skz staff members reassures the boys. 

They all nod their head as they wait, watching the clock for those 10 minutes to pass. And when those 10 minutes pass and there is no sign of either of you, they really start to freak. 

“Something could have happened, we should've gone looking for them as soon as they didn't come back.” Chan paces back and forth. 

“Hyung sit down,” Changbin grabs Chan, “there’s no point stressing out, the staff will find them okay?” 

It’s not even 5 minutes later when a staff member walks back into the room and the boys jump to their feet. 

“What happened? Did you find them? Are they okay? Where are they?” The boys ask question after question. 

“We did find them and they are all right.” A fond smile makes its way to the staff’s face and he gestures for the boys to follow him. 

They all follow him until the staff member stops in front of a door. “We passed by a few stylists who had asked Y/n to grab something for them in the door that was by the bathrooms.” He gestures to the bathroom which was right next door. “The only thing is, the door locks from the outside, so when she went in, she got stuck.” 

“And Hyunjin?” Seungmin asks. 

“Well we’re assuming that when Y/n didn’t return, when Hyunjin went to look for her he must've heard her, went inside the room the door shut behind them and they both were stuck.” 

Chan shakes his head as he reaches over to grab the door and pushes it open. The door opened to reveal you and Hyunjin snuggled up on the floor, both sound asleep. 

“So that’s why they weren’t answering our calls.” Minho says. 

“Scared the absolute daylights out of me and this is why.” Chan smiles fondly as he looks down at the two of you before he walks into the room to wake you both up. 

“Hyung? You found us?” Hyunjin wipes his eyes sleepily. 

“After you both send us on a wild goose chase, yes, yes we did.” Chan says. 

“We?” 

You and Hyunjin look to see the rest of Stray Kids as well as a few staff members standing there and you both blush. 

“Sorry, this was all my fault.” You say. 

“No, it’s alright,” Chan says, holding a hand out for you to grab as he helps you stand back up on your feet. “It will be a pretty funny story to tell so we’ll forgive you, besides we didn’t freak out THAT much.” 

“That isn’t true, you were the one who was freaking out the most.” Seungmin says. 

“No I wasn’t.” Chan defends himself. 

The rest of Stray Kids all start to argue and you and Hyunjin look at each other before bursting out with laughter.

Han Jisung

It was well past 2am and you both were still awake. Maybe it was the cold, or perhaps something else that was keeping you awake. But there was something different about being with someone, with existing with them, breathing with them, at 2 in the morning.

It was these moments that Jisung appreciated the most. Sure, it's always absolutely amazing going out and doing things with you but he loved these quiet moments when you both just had each other.

There's no one bothering him about things he needed to get finished, no dance practice, no music, no thinking.

Jisung loves what he does but sometimes he likes to switch off too and he can't argue that his members are a huge help, they've been with him through his hardest times but it was different with you.

He hadn't realised how much he craved it, how much he would miss it, until he met you.

You just came into his life in full force. If left him confused, scared, but in the end you completed him. You completed him in ways no one else could.

After a long day, it was late at night when Jisung really got to enjoy you all to himself, no distractions, just the two of you. And yes, he did have an early start tomorrow, would spend the day running on 3 hours of sleep but god were you worth it.

"Ji?"

Jisung hums softly, letting you know that he could hear you and was listening.

"How was your day?"

"My day? It was fine, I was in the studio with Channie hyung and Changbin hyung for most of it. But how was yours? Tell me all about it, yeah?"

You go into detail about your day, knowing Jisung wanted to hear every little bit that happened.

Jisung listens to every word you speak because to him, they were all important. Your entire being was so important and Jisung sometimes feels bad that he can't be there for you as much as he'd like.

So he uses these moments, he stores them away. Every little detail has a little pocket inside his brain that he stores away for when the time comes to use them again. A new restaurant here you mentioned once, or a co-worker you mentioned you didn't like. Every word you say means something to him.

"And what else baby?" Jisung pulls you in closer, gently guiding your head to his chest.

His undivided attention is always on you. Every time you open your mouth, Jisung is there to listen. He wants you to know that he cares, he cares so much for you that sometimes it seems untrue.

But his feelings for you could never be more genuine.

"Baby?" You snuggle in closer to him.

You're his person.

You will forever be his person if you'd let him.

The one he turns to when he's getting overwhelmed with life.

The one who knows what he's feeling without him ever needing to say a word.

You get him.

"Sleepy?" Jisung whispers. He feels you nod your hear against his chest. You were still telling him about your day but your words were starting to slur and it was honestly the most adorable thing Jisung had ever seen.

To be fair, everything you do Jisung thinks is cute.

Jisung can no longer hear you voice, instead all he hears is your breathing. Placing a kiss on your forehead, Jisung wraps the blankets around the two of you tighter, before closing his own eyes.

He loved you so much more than he's ever loved anything else. And Jisung hopes that you will never forget that.

Lee Felix

“Movie night!” You say as you jump onto the couch next to Felix. 

Felix laughs as he wraps his arm around your waist. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this since we started to plan it.” You say as you lay your head on his shoulder. 

“Me too love, I’ve very much been waiting for this day.” Felix replies back. 

You and Felix had both been very busy that past few weeks so one night while you both were laying in bed you discussed spending some time together. 

You both made sure that you would have tonight to just spend with each other, no distractions, no work, no nothing, just the two of you. 

You had decided on doing a movie night, earlier on today you had gone out to get some snacks for the two of you to eat and had everything set up so that when Felix returned home, all he had to do was shower and get changed into some comfortable clothing. 

Which is exactly where the both of you were right now. 

“So, should I start the first movie?” You reach forward as Felix nods his head to start the first movie. You both had previously picked out some movies you wanted to watch so that it would make things easier for you now. You had the movies lined up that you wanted to watch and all you had to do was play them. 

After the first movie is finished you both decide to get some food, deciding on ordering some takeout. You start the second movie as you wait for the food to arrive and when it does Felix hops up as you pause the movie. 

“I’ll grab it love.”

You smile at Felix and nod your head, waiting for him to return with the food and when he does you wiggle slightly in your seat with excitement causing Felix to laugh. 

“You’re so cute, baby.” Felix says as he dumps the food on the table in front of you both. 

“Says you, the cutest thing to ever exist.” 

“Thing? So I’m a ‘thing’ now?” 

You roll your eyes with a smile on your face, “oh you know what I mean.” 

“No, I don’t think I do.” 

You look over at him with a raised brow before turning towards the food. But before you could grab anything, Felix grabs your wrist. 

“Ignoring me now huh?” 

You still don’t look towards him, biting down on your lip to stop from smiling. You feel Felix’s fingers wander down to your waist and your head snaps towards him. 

“Don’t you dare-” your words are cut off by Felix tickling you, knocking you on your back as he hovers over you. 

You’re overcome with giggles as you try to fight Felix off you. 

“Lixie!” You plead. 

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” Felix says with a smirk on his face. 

“Stop! Please!” You say between giggles. 

“Hmm, I guess I’ve punished you enough.” Felix says as he stops what he’s doing before leaning down to place a kiss on your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck and once you’ve broken free from your kiss, he pulls you back up so that you’re sitting. 

“Let me get you your food.” Felix breaks away from you as he reaches into the bags of food in front of you both. “I’m sure you’re hungry.” 

“I am very hungry.” 

“I know, I can hear your stomach.” Felik pokes at your stomach causing you to squeal before handing you your food. 

“Thanks Lixie.” 

“No worries at all babe. Now let's eat and watch our movie.” 

About 2 movies later, Felix looks over to find you asleep on his shoulder. You’ve got a bowl of popcorn on your lap and some hanging in your hair. 

A fond smile makes its way to his face as he looks down at you, picking the popcorn out of your hair and grabbing the bowl off your lap, placing it on the table. 

God he was so in love with you that it hurt sometimes, but he wouldn’t ever replace this feeling with anything in this entire world. 

Kim Seungmin

Seungmin had said he would be home at about 8, you told him that you would wait up for him.

It's now just before 10 and he's still not home. You had texted him and was slightly worried. The logical part of you just assumed that practice went later than expected and he was held back, not able to go on his phone. The other part of you worried that something had happened to him.

It was not long after 10 that you received a call, expecting it to be Seungmin you rushed to your phone, only to see that it wasn't Seungmin calling you but Jeongin

"Jeongin? What's up?" You ask as you answer the phone.

"Y/n, I um...I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, you're fine. I was up waiting for Seungmin. He said he would be home around 8 and it's 10 so I'm assuming that practice went late?"

"I..I don't. Seungmin he.."

"Jeongin? What happened? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, no yeah I'm alright, it's just that..."

You could hear Jeongin's voice start to break and you can tell that he's on the verge of tears.

"Hey, why don't you give the phone to one of your hyungs, yeah? Are they there with you?"

"Yeah."

"Alright let me speak with one of them okay?"

The line goes quiet before a new voice speaks.

"Y/n..."

"Jisung? What happened?"

"It's Seungmin."

You feel your heart drop into your stomach. "What happened Ji?"

"He..I don't know what happened, it all happened so fast. But he just, I don't know, he just collapsed at practice. He had such a high fever so we just rushed him into the hospital. We haven't heard much, but we know he's still not awake."

"Where are you?"

Jisung tells you the hospital they were at and you quickly say goodbye before hanging up. You don't even throw on a jacket, just grab your shoes, your wallet and keys then leave the house.

Following behind a manager who had come to collect you, you walked down a corridor were you spotted the rest of Stray Kids and ran over to them.

"What happened?" You ask panicking as you look around at the members.

“We were practising and Seugmin just collapsed, so we rushed him straight to the hospital. All we’ve heard so far was that he was severely dehydrated.” Chan explains. 

You bring a hand up to your face as you feel tears well in your eyes, you feel a hand on your shoulder before you’re pulled into someone's arms. You look up to see Jeongin and notice that he’s also got tears in his eyes. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper to him as you wipe his tears away. “He’ll be alright.” 

“I don’t know, I just-I feel like I should have noticed it you know?” Jeongin squeezes his eyes shut. 

“No, we are not doing this.” 

“Doing what?” 

“The blame game, none of this is anyone's fault you hear me? Seungmin would hate to hear you blame yourself like this, okay?” 

Jeongin nods his head and tries to smile, giving up half way when he realises it was too difficult. 

“Has anyone eaten?” You look around at the boys and watch as they all shake their heads. 

“Okay, I’m gonna…I’ll go and get you all some food alright?” You say. 

“No, it’s okay Y/n, you don’t have to.” Chan shakes his head. 

“Really it’s fine, you all need to eat.” 

“But-” 

“Please Chan,” you close your eyes and take a shaky breath before continuing, “let me do this okay?” 

Chan grasps your hand and softly nods his head, “okay.” 

While you’re out getting food for the boys you receive a text message from Chan who explained that he doctor had been there to see them and gave you a bit of an update on Seungmin. Basically he had been neglecting his own needs and overworked himself, explaining why he had fainted. The doctors wished to keep Seungmin overnight but said that it was nothing serious, he just needed some fluids and a good rest. 

“Okay, so I got a bunch of things, I probably went a bit overboard but I’m sure you all will eat it anyway.” You say as you walk into the room the boys were in with Seungmin, holding bags of food. 

Minho and Changbin rush over to you and take the bags from you, you smile at them before your eyes catch Seungmin’s. 

You watch as the boys all dig into their food before walking over to Seungmin’s bedside. 

“Before you say anything,” Seungmin says, grabbing your hand, “I’m alright.” 

You bite your lip as you stare down at him, Seungmin reaches up and with his finger pulls your lip out from your teeth. “Y/n?” 

“Yeah?” You grasp his hand tighter. 

“Lay with me?” 

You don’t say anything but instead lay with Seungmin on his hospital bed, sure it wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but it was what you both needed at that very moment so neither of you really cared. 

You feel Seungmin’s hands playing with your hair and you grip onto him tighter with your hands, it felt as if you let go, Seungmin would disappear from you and you weren’t going to let that happen, not yet. 

It isn’t until Seungmin feels your grip go lack that he looks down at you and sees you sound asleep on his chest. Seungmin places a kiss on your forehead before leaning his head on yours. 

“Hyung?” Seungmin calls out, getting the attention of everyone in the room, even Jeongin who wasn’t Seungmin’s hyung. 

“Yeah?” Chan is the one to speak. 

“I know you all have to leave soon.” Seungmin says. 

“Yeah we do,” Chan nods his head. 

“But we’ll be back first thing tomorrow.” Jeongin exclaims. 

“Yeah I’m sure you will be, but I just want you all to do something for me yeah?” Seungmin asks. 

“Of course Seung, anything.” Chan leans forward in his seat, encouraging Seungmin to speak. 

“Her,” Seungmin gestures down to you with his head. “Take her home with you please, don’t let her go back to her place. She can stay in my room but I don’t want her to be alone for the night. I can’t imagine receiving that call when I was in the hospital. It must not have been easy for her.” 

“Of course Seung, we’ll take care of her, but you should worry more about yourself at this moment, okay? Getting better yourself.” Chan says. 

Seungmin shakes his head, looks down at you. “I could tell you that I would but that would be a lie. My priority will always be her. She does so much for me and it always feels like I never have any time for her and I hate it. Don’t get me wrong I love being an idol, I love you all and I love Stay but sometimes I think about the days when we’re older and it’s just the two of us that’s left, no more work, no more anything, just us.” 

“I’m going to marry her.” Seungmin looks up at the rest, “this is just the beginning for the both of us.” 

“I don’t think any of us has ever doubted that.” Jeongin gently nudges Seungmin from where he was sitting beside him. 

Chan stands up and gestures to the mess from the dinner, “well we should clean this up and head on home to get some rest, I have a feeling we’ll be back bright and early so some rest for all of us will do some good.” 

The kids all start to pack up as Seungmin gets to waking you up and enough everyone has left the room and you’re standing by the door. 

“I love you.” You say. 

“I love you too.” 

You blow a kiss to Seungmin who reaches out to grab it, pulling it towards his heart where he lays his hand. 

“We’ll be back before you know it, as soon as we’re allowed back in, I’m going to be waiting right outside this door.” You say, a determined look on your face. 

Seungmin smiles at you as you blow him one more kiss before disappearing behind the door, “I know you will.” 

Yang Jeongin

Jeongin tried to be as quiet as possible, shutting the door behind him with care and slipping his shoes off silently. Tiptoeing into the hall, he frowns when he hears the tv playing, he’d hoped you would be asleep by now, not waiting up for him. 

Dumping his stuff on the kitchen table, Jeongin walks into the lounge. Jeongin pauses in his steps when he sees you, a sleepy smile makes its way onto his face as he rounds the couch. Sitting on the ground by the couch, Jeongin reaches forward and brushes a few strands of hair out of your face before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on your forehead. 

You’d obviously fallen asleep with the tv on, a blanket wrapped tight around you and there were snacks on the table in front of the couch. He could tell, from the look of things, that you had not meant to fall asleep and that makes Jeongin smile even more. God were you adorable. 

Standing up, Jeongin turns around and turns the tv off, looking back at you once again before picking up the leftover snacks and taking them into the kitchen. Once he’s disposed of the snacks, Jeongin heads into the bathroom where he gets himself ready for bed. Showering off the day's work away, doing his skincare before getting changed into some sweats and an old tshirt. 

Jeongin walks back out into the kitchen where he opens up the fridge, food from the dinner you had cooked in there and he takes them out, heating them up. He tries to be as quiet as possible as he sits down at the table to eat, not wanting to wake you up just yet. 

As he scrolls through his phone, Jeongin eats the food you made and it isn’t long until he’s eaten it all and he’s washing away his dirty dishes. 

Once he’s finished there, Jeongin then walks back into the lounge and over to you, who still sleeping. Bending down so that he’s level with you, Jeongin very gently rubs his hand along your cheek. 

“Baby,” he whispers a few times, watching as your eyes slowly flutter open. 

“Jeongin?” You sleepily ask while rubbing your eyes. 

“Yeah babe, it’s me,” Jeongin smiles as he helps you sit up. 

“What time is it?” 

“A little after 11.”

“Oh, I was watching a movie, didn’t realise I would fall asleep.” 

“It’s alright babe, let’s head to bed now yeah?” Jeongin holds his hand out. 

“Wait, have you eaten yet?”

“Yeah, I ate and showered, let you sleep so that when I woke you up we could go to bed together.” 

You smile up at him as you grab his hand and he pulls you up. Following behind Jeongin as he leads you into your bedroom, you flop onto your bed under the covers as soon as you reach the room. 

“Sleepy baby?” Jeongin laughs quietly as he watches you snuggle under the covers, only your head peeking out. 

“Mhm, ‘m sleepy.” You mumble out, your eyes falling shut. 

Jeongin climbs on to the other side of the bed and pulls you into him, laying your head on his chest as your legs tangled together under the sheets. 

“Did you have a good day?” Your voice is muffled but he understands what you’re trying to say. 

“Yeah baby, I did, did you?” Jeongin traces invisible lines on your back and he feels you nod your head against his chest. “That’s good.” 

It’s not too long after that Jeongin feels you relax completely against him, no longer conscious of the world around you and it makes him pull you in tighter as he plants a kiss on your head. “I love you.” He whispers before closing his eyes himself, letting sleep overtake him. 

[spdrvyn]

i'll be lonely with you — MIGUEL O'HARA

SUMMARY: with the passage of time and whispers from your acquaintances at the spider society HQ, you've found out that your boss has a habit of sneaking out of his office during the dead hours of night to eat dinner. completely alone.

NOTES: new formatting for fics !!! do you guys like it? :3 i decided to include summaries that way it would be easier for people to understand the general jist of the plot without me spewing nonsense in the notes. anyways enjoy !!!!! thanks for the support on my recent works as well ^_^

You didn't consider yourself the most introverted person.

Even when it came to hundreds of Spider-people, you tried to get to know who you could and become acquainted with as many of them as possible. How could you not?

However, there were few that you knew on a more personal level. People that you'd keep close to your side whenever you visited headquarters. People that you'd enjoy having an exchange of gossip with during lunch in the bustling cafeteria.

Miguel O'Hara wasn't exactly one of those people.

It's not like you didn't want to develop something more than a boss-coworker relationship. Though, conversations with him were always difficult, to the say the least. Most of the time, he's talking about work and anything that goes past that boundary goes unspoken.

Quite literally. You've forgotten the amount of times that you've built up the courage to mention anything about your other (not deceased) relatives or your friends and the amount of times that the room was filled with a silence so awkward that crickets are on the same volume as missile launchers.

Though, you didn't want to lose hope. You sort of understood where he was coming from. People go through grief and mourning in different ways, Miguel's was probably just isolation and a complete avoidance of discussions of personal life.

He was a leader. A good one. A trait of a good leader is to connect with their subordinates, establish relationships. So it really made you think.

How messed up was he that he missed that one quality?

"Hey. Your food's getting cold." There it goes, the sound of your train of thought leaving the station. Sometimes, you were grateful for Jess being there for you. She could snap you back to reality you like nobody else could.

You mutter an apology before stabbing your salad with your fork and taking a bite, Jess rests her head on her palm. Raising a brow at you, "So, did you want to eat lunch with me for fun or are you just using me to get info about Miguel? Again?"

Nervously, you shake your head. "It's nothing like that!" She leans in a little more, waving her other free hand in the air in a circular motion.

"...But if you have anything that you'd like to share then I'm not going to refuse entirely—"

"Oh my god. Fine, fine. What do you want to know?"

With that question, it felt like your mind blanked. You fidgeted with your fork, twirling a leaf of your salad against the plate as you pondered on what question to ask.

Jess responds with a deep sigh, "If you're trying to find a way to talk to him more, he doesn't leave that office of his much unless it's for work. He's in there most of time. Although..."

"Although?"

"Although, I've seen him come here normally somewhere around midnight to get a very late dinner alone. The place is less crowded, most are just in their own universe or sleeping or working."

Your face falls a little upon hearing that. "So I can only catch a non-serious conversation with him... in the middle of the night?"

"Exactly. Besides, there's a good chance he's going to just— continue talking about work with you whether he's in his office or not. You know that, right?"

You drop your utensil in defeat, burying your face shamefully in your hands. "I know..."

You quickly wrap up your lunch with Jess, as she shares bits and pieces about him. You had really wondered how she was able to learn all of these things about him anyway but before you had the opportunity to ask her, she told you to not.

Respecting her wishes, you keep your mouth shut. Respecting her even further, you decide to pack up both of your plates and wave her a goodbye before picking up those thoughts that you were left a while ago.

Admittedly, you didn't know why you were so persistent for something like this, for someone like him.

Determination was a strength of yours but that didn't mean that you didn't know where your limits rested and you would back off when you needed to.

There was just something. A swirling feeling in your gut that was telling you to keep going.

That it would be worth it.

So, you follow everything that Jess told you. Around midnight, he'd be alone, in the cafeteria, and looking for an empanada to snack on before heading back into his office. A very small fraction of his time left for personal conversation if you tried hard enough!

This most likely wasn't a good idea. You didn't sleep at all through the day but the thrill kept you alive and thriving. You confidently stride up to the counters of the cafeteria, picking out a small bag of chips for yourself and the last empanada for your soon-to-be snack companion.

Now, you wait.

You surveyed your surroundings and as you were doing that, you realize why he particularly emerges during these kinds of hours to eat. There was a significantly less amount of people.

Whenever you came here during the day, it was a miracle to be able to find completely empty seats. At times, you were forced to sit with a group of people.

You weren't entirely ungrateful for that though, you've made a lot of friends that way. Sure, it was awkward at first but the more you were forced to interact with people that way, the more you adapted to making small talk.

Even then, there were a lot of tables that were taken here save for one completely empty one at the far end.

Then, you finally see that navy and red suit.

Deciding to observe him just a little bit more, you watch him curse under his breath seeing the display case for the empanadas empty. Before he walks away any further, you tap him on the shoulder.

His mask was on, his eyes widen a little bit before you hand him the small box. "I saved the last one for you."

With a soft huff, you see the muscles in his shoulders and back grow loose once more, he hestitantly takes the container from your hands. Looking at it then looking back at you, "Thanks."

You two share a few seconds of awkward silence, you felt a little exposed. You decided to unmask for this because you wanted him to feel more comfortable talking to you rather than who you were as a Spider-person yet there's still that same awkwardness in the air.

Clearly without nothing to do and no idea on how to makem something better out of this, Miguel's about to walk off before you stop him once more.

"W— wait," A little piece of yourself dies inside as you hear yourself stutter but nevertheless, you keep going. "Uh, there aren't any other spots so is it alright if I sit you? I don't know any of the people here."

The way that you see the eyes through his masks narrow ever so slightly once the question escapes your throat makes your heart quiver like crazy.

You wanted to get to know him but damn, if you said that he didn't scare you sometimes then you would be lying.

You cry on the inside with sweet victory as he says...

"Fine."

That was it. That was all you got but you gladly take it! You have to catch up to him though because once you're done mentally celebrating, he's already a little bit far from you.

You try your hardest to keep your head straight but you can't help but look up and spare him one glance, the fact that you even had to look up at him really only emphasized your height difference with him.

Another factor that made you just a little bit more intimidated by him, his physique. You considered yourself to be of average height, you weren't the tallest person in the room but you were never the shortest as well. Just average.

The way he practically towered over you, his hand nearly being the size of your head. It made you feel something.

The moment that both of you have a seat, you take your opportunity.

"So, is there anything that you plan on doing after this?"

You get a little distracted once his mask comes off, he raises an eyebrow at you, crimson eyes that feel like they're looking straight into your soul. Though, side-tracked as he bites into the dough and meaty goodness of his empanada, with a shrug— he replies,

"Not really. Unless there's an anomaly I haven't heard of yet then I have no plans. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing. Was just curious is all." Why was this so hard?!

The conversation goes as what you expected. You'd ask a question every moment or so and he'd give you a short response before going back to his food. He wouldn't ask you anything back, wouldn't add any 'unnecessary' comments. Just bask in the silence.

You simply couldn't take it anymore, you didn't know how to express your interest in him without asking him more questions about himself which he seems to avoid trying to answer.

You couldn't ask him about his hobbies because he'll most likely say that he's too busy working to actually spend time gaining and branching out to different interests.

Dejectedly, you sigh. "I'm sorry for imposing— on your alone time, I mean." It was like everything that you wanted to say just kept spilling out of your mouth.

"I didn't want to eat with you at this hour because I pity you or— or I found you lonely or whatever. I just thought that whenever you weren't talking about work, we'd be able to get along."

You stand up from your seat, eyes mindlessly darting arounf the labels of the bag of 'Spider-O's' in your clutches.

"I'll, uhm, let you eat in peace now. Once again, I'm—"

"Wait."

Which ever brain cells died from that interaction certainly reignited now. "Sit back down," It comes off an order. An order you certainly obey.

"I wouldn't have actually said yes to you if I didn't want to talk." He starts. "I know a lot of people but it's not in the same way that you do. I know their names, their faces, their canon events. You know their feelings, their mindscapes, and their troubles—"

"—And those are the exact kinds of things that I can't comprehend most of the time. We understand people differently, is what I'm saying. I still have no idea why exactly you sought out me of all people but I will... try to gain this new perspective of things."

You want to tamp down the smile that creeps up on your lips as you hear those words but you can't. What he said, it all made sense now. You couldn't see the full picture still, but you were willing to find it—

"I understand. It's fine."

"So? Do you have plans after this?"

Together.

[strwbivy]

I LOVE your suga/kage fic so much!! It makes me so inspired to write!! <33 Anyways, can i request a daichi or maybe osamu fic where reader becomes their manager?? How they would react maybe?? Thank you in advance, hope this fits your standards!! <333

MANAGE MY HEART — DAICHI , OSAMU .ᐟ

synopsis. you unexpectedly become a manager of the roster. you were doing your job great. doing some organizing, and helping the members of the team when they take breaks, but taking his heart wasn't part of the job!

wc. 3.2k words | genre. fluffy | cw/tags. no warnings, no yachi au (sorry!), f!reader, tanaka + noya duo mischief, slow burnish, catching feelings, onigiri lover osamu, food stuff (*´꒳`*)

m.list // hq. masterlist

you've got mail ✉ ! hey anon i just wanna say tysm and omg i inspired you to write?? ACKK you flatter me sm!! anyways i tried to make a longer fic cause most of my fics are short so yea <33

leftover mail ✉ ! i'm still trying to figure out on how i should format my fics since i'm not sure on how to do so andd i kinda got lazy with osamu's part because i just really had to finish this.

a/n: just a heads up but the readers are in there second-year!

♡—SAWAMURA DAICHI ( 2,040 words , 11,263 chars )

kiyoko being in her third year of high school meaning, she's soon to retire from being a manager. therefore, she needs to find someone that will be able to manage the rowdy behavior of the team.

so then, she began her search for a possible candidate. hinata had give her a list of people who haven't joined any club, if it wasn't for hinata's assistance things would've taken much longer.

and as if the stars were aligned, you were searching for a club to join.

you were approached by a very beautiful girl, asking if you wanted to try out being a manager. and with no hesitance, you accepted the offer and she gave you some important papers and gave the date on when she'll introduce you, before leaving off with thank you.

even though kiyoko had only met you once, she knew you were the perfect one to run as manager. she just hopes that none of the other ehem.. teammates would make you run off.

ʚ 🍓 ɞ

the date of kiyoko introducing you has arrived. you sheepishly followed the manager from behind, feeling a tinge amount of nervousness but at the same time you felt excited because you were getting to experience new things.

once you both have finally reached the entrance of the volleyball gym, kiyoko's voice cut through the air, calling out to those who were engrossed with practicing. she came in the building and you followed in suite. and just a few moments after you entered the gym, you were immediately noticed and got a few people came up to you.

kiyoko then announced that you were going to try out as their manager. then of course you introduced yourself.

"hello! i am uh [name] and i will be trying to be a manager here, and i hope that i'll get along with you all!" you exclaimed, trying to hide slight unease in your voice.

a few people then took turns to introducing themselves to you.

you then started to initiate short conversations here and there. you were getting quite comfortable with everyone until you felt lasers burning the back of your head.

the slight unease made you slightly shiver. you slowly turned your head, only for you to see a bald-man and a shorter one with spiky black hair with a streak of blonde, were staring directly at you with piercing eyes.

you were immediately taken aback, you couldn't help but stare back at them with a weirded-out face.

at that moment, daichi was just talking to kiyoko about the 'new' manager. he was mid sentence until the duo's antics caught his eyes. he excused himself to kiyoko and marched over to the two.

he slowly crept up behind them, and pulled them by the collar at the of their shirts. a sigh is then pulled out of him before he spoke in a deep voice.

"you two! stop staring it's rude!" he states with a frowned expression on his face before he picked them up like a mother cat lifts her kittens, with ease but in a subtle harsh manner.

you dumbfoundedly watched the man pick them up and toss them aside. he lets out a disappointed sigh before turning back to you. daichi then approaches you.

"ahh.. i'm sorry about those two, they're always like that."

he apologizes, bowing his head in a gesture of contrition, while simultaneously scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. but of course as the great captain he is, he breaks through the awkwardness.

"so you're [name] right? i'm sawamura, daichi sawamura." he says, reaching out his hand for a handshake as a warm smile came to his face.

you let out a soft laughter before responding. "well it's nice to meet you sawamura!" you cheerfully say, while you took his hand and shook it well. he then declines the polite formalities with a firm shake of his head.

"there's no need for formalities, you can call me daichi." he says, observing your face as his hand parts ways with yours.

you then nod at him. "so daichi it is then!" you cheerily exclaimed, as you plastered on a big radiant smile that almost outshined the sun.

the way his name rolled of your tongue, has left him flustered. a sense of butterflies in his stomach grew, and the pace of his heart became a tinge faster. huh? that's odd. he thinks to himself, contemplating if it was just the large amount of coffee he consumed this morning.

or was it something else? or something new?

his eyes drifted over to you, and he realized he had been staring without meaning to. "daichi? are you okay?" you asked, having your brow raised. "w-what? o-oh! yea." he replies stuttering, finally being pulled out of his thoughts.

daichi pauses for a moment.

" i'm just.. confused. "

ʚ 🍓 ɞ

after almost one long week of getting convinced by a human tangerine, and attending practice matches, or just practice in general. you were finally confident of yourself to step up and be a manager of the team.

everyone felt happy of course, as they were already comfortable with you from the star.

while this was happening, daichi was starting to have a liking for you. but honestly who wouldn't? not only you had all the characteristics and requirements to be the perfect manager, but you yourself were an absolute delight.

you were well-organized, smart, beautiful, and you cared for each of the team's members even if you showed it an aggressive way it showed care. and the way you carried yourself has him getting more fond of you.

daichi and you, became quite close as days went by. every interaction between the two of you was delightful, and for some reason he feels an overwhelming desire to be closer to you. every time you come up to him happily blabbering, a sense of joy overcomes him. he would talk to you, trying to hide the excitement in his voice.

he would try to say a joke, but it comes off corny. he brings his hand to lightly smack his face out of embarrassment, thinking you wouldn't laugh but unexpectedly he hears a soft giggle.

the embarrassed captain snaps his head to look at you, and he starts to giggle too. a faded-pink tint grew on his face.

but unbeknownst to the two of you, two certain third-years were observing from the side.

sugawara, almost immediately noticed on how daichi acted. he then nudges asahi, pointing to the giggling pair by forwarding his head.

" look asahi, i'm not the only one who's noticed it right? " the setter asked, having a slight smirk on his lips. " hm? oh them? yea of course who wouldn't? he's clearly acting odd. " asahi says, curiously putting his hand under his fuzzy chin as he closely peered to daichi's flushed expression.

as the day ends, daichi waves goodbye to you while you exit the building. daichi was staying a bit later in the court since he was the one who's gonna close the gym, and it just so happens the other third-years stayed late to wait for him.

after waving goodbye to you he turns around, only to be confronted by asahi and sugawara, who both had a smug expression.

"so you and [name] huh?" sugawara teasingly says, followed by quiet snickers from asahi. daichi retracted himself while he gave them a questioning look.

"what? what do you mean 'you' and '[name]' ?" he responds with tone that was mixed with confusion and suspicion.

sugawara then comes closer and walks around him until he reached where his ear was. he leans in and whispers something in his ear.

"tsk tsk, you're not good at hiding secrets captain." he utters in a low voice, causing for daichi to get startled. suga then goes back to asahi's side, while having an amused smile on his face. "ah.. eh.. daichi, it's kinda obvious." says the hair-bunned man, adding a nervous ha-ha at the end of his sentence, hoping daichi wouldn't get mad at him.

daichi's startled expression, is now replaced with a scowl. he folds his arms as he looks away from the two. sugawara chuckles before he karate chops daichi's stomach.

"c'mon daichi! there's no need to get embarrassed!" he says to daichi who was clutching his stomach from the impact of the attack. a cheery laugh escaped suga's lips as he looks to asahi who looked terrified from his aggression.

and from that day on, a little secret was shared between the trio.

ʚ 🍓 ɞ

a few months passed by and karasuno has come out victorious and has successfully qualified for the nationals. and just before the nationals started, you had the idea to give each of the team's members a little gift, a lucky charm keychain!

you then spent a few days making the charms, making sure each keychain was unique as the person. you carefully made each of it beautifully decorated. and as you were finished making with someone's charm you moved on to dachi's. and an idea popped through your head.

recently, daichi has started to give you an itchy feeling, but not in a bad way. but you find yourself getting increasingly drawn to him, his presence stirred a fluttery feeling in your heart, and warmth to your chest.

the itch grew day by day as you spent time with him. the itchy feeling was unfamiliar, but not unwelcomed.

as the sensation became more overwhelming, you became more aware of your growing feelings for him. every time you're near him, the feeling becomes more intense. he then would question you about your nervous state but, you'd just say your just feeling uneasy.

coming back to when you were making daichi's charm, you had decided to add something to it. just to make a lil' more special than the rest.

the day of the trip to tokyo for the nationals then came, and you've decided to give it just right before the bus sets off. one by one, you gave each of them the lucky charm. they all appreciated the gift and felt more motivated than ever.

once you have given all of them your present, there was one more you haven't given.

you made a bee-line to where daichi was. your land lightly tapped his shoulder, causing for him to turn around. "oh [name]! is everyone ready to go?" he asks, having a slight excitement when mentioning your name.

"yup! so uh, i just wanted to give everyone something and here's yours." you then presented the cute orange and black colored charm on your small palms. daichi utters a gasp of surprise as his eyes sets on the gift.

"oh wow! you really made one for the whole team?" he enthusiastically speaks while he takes it from your palm. just as he was about to say his thanks, the voice of coach ukai interrupts him. you both then chuckle and head to bus.

small giggles were heard from sugawara as he sees the specific pair, but he was silence, with one look on daichi's expression.

daichi then sits down beside sugawara, the bus then started. he then looks down on his palm that held the lucky charm, his eyes observes each of the beads and he notices something. a small heart charm was in between on some beads, he then feels sense of shock.

he then asks for suga's charm, and he checks it. no heart charm. afther then he checks asahi's who was just infront of him, no heart charm. he then tries to take a peek with the others charm, and once again, there's no sight of the charm that he has.

a warm feeling arises on his face, and his heart thumped a bit faster. sugawara who was confused, on why daichi was quite literally 'inspecting' the other's charms notices daichi's face and that his gaze was fixated on his charm and he sees it.

a small smirk comes to his lips. "hmm someone's feeling quite special." he mumbles to the captain, his tone being an amused one.

his cheeks had a tint of pink, and a smile that reached to his ears.

daichi then lets out a low chuckle before speaking.

"yea, i guess i am a bit special."

♡—MIYA OSAMU ( 1,243 words , 6851 chars )

when you became inarizaki's new manager, osamu never really noticed you.

your presence was almost a blur to him, but it all became a clarity like going from a blurry image to sharp clear image, when you had brought those delicious homemade onigiris as a thank you gift for welcoming you to the team.

as soon his eyes set on the plate you held, he lost his self-control and hungrily grabbed an onigiri instinctively. the unexpected gesture took you by surprise as you looked at him dazed.

osamu single-mindedly, he licks his lips his lips in anticipation, while his mouth watered at the sight. slowly but surely, he takes a munch out of it. and oh my god, was he not astonished by the taste. another bite followed by another, his eyes waters at how savory it is!

with every chew and chomp he takes, his heart throbs with delight.

he savors each bite he takes, and after a few chomps, he finishes eating. he lets out a huff of satisfaction before turning to you who had a shocked face.

"these are amazing,"

"did ya' makes them yourself?" he asks in an unconcerned tone, as if he didn't just ravish the onigiri in just a minute.

even though you were just in a state of shock, you immediately beam up at his compliment, feeling a sense of pride and accomplishment. you nodded, saying,

"ahh yea I did! i'm glad you enjoyed them." you answered as some chimed in their agreement, compliment and praising the delectability of the homemade snacks.

the others then continued to enjoy the onigiris, as osamu inhales the aroma coming from the others' snacks. as he relished under the addictive smell, he pondered about on what ways you made the delectable onigiris.

he pulls himself from reality as he thoughts of a question, but to his surprise, you beat him to it.

"do you enjoy cooking, osamu? that's your name right?" you asked curiously, and osamu nodded, having a slight smile to his face as he replied,

"i do actually, i've always got a' passion for food and cooking, er.. mostly food. i also love creating new dishes and experimenting with different flavors and textures. do you do too?" he admits and expresses his passion for food as he asked you a question back.

"yes! absolutely!" you nodded your head enthusiastically as your eyes sparkled with interest when you finally found someone whose interest is also cooking.

the both of you then have a conversation about foods, cookery, and stuff that are related to those topics. he replies with a thrilled voice whenever you would ask him a question, and vice versa.

as you and osamu animatedly talk about cooking, a couple of the other theme members chimed in their own experiences observations, sharing a few embarrassing stories here and there.

"here i have one, 'tsumu 'burnt' cup noodles, i donno what came to his mind that he thought he had ter' fry it." he lets out a bried chuckle, while his twin immediately retorts back having a nasty glare as the rest of the team shared a loud laughter, poking fun at the embarrassed atsumu while they were at it.

osamu's chuckle faded into a smile, he then turned to look at you. an unfamiliar giddy feeling suddenly reached to his chest, he scrunches his eyes at the feeling, he tries to ignore it, but the more he glanced at you, the more the feeling lasted.

"huh."

ʚ 🍓 ɞ

because of the you and his shared interest, you both engaged in conversations. the both of you shared ideas about cooking and giving recipes to each other occasionally.

during one of your conversations, an idea sparked up in your mind.

"oohh osamu! i should bring some of my homemade foods maybe for a week? you could be my little taste tester, hehehe." you spoke excitedly, while osamu, without hesitation, fully agreed to the idea.

"sure, i do want to taste those delicious onigiris again." a drool trickled down his chin as he envisioned the well-missed food. you laughed at the salivating man, gosh, he couldn't just wait to have a snack of those onigiris once again!

ʚ 🍓 ɞ

in the first day, you gave him five of those onigiris he dearly craved for. and he gobbled them all up, carefully savoring each snack. seeing him truly enjoy them made you want to push your efforts to making more.

and so, in the second day, you made yakitori, grilled chicken skewers that were marinated in a variety of seasonings. and without any doubt, he eats the skewers with teary eyes from how good they tasted.

he's so gosh damn in love with you your cooking, the way he would outright do anything for you it.

for the next two days, you had cooked him mouthwatering foods like, mentaiko—spicy cod roe and okonomiyaki—a japanese savory pancake. the flavoring of each dish has him growing more fond and fond of you. his taste buds savored the flavoring, and your cooking always fails to not make his day.

and for the last day, it being the very last day of him being as your taste tester, you decided to make it a little extra special.

ʚ 🍓 ɞ

the bell loudly rings, finally! he'll finally get to eat some of your delectable homemades. he knows today will be the last day, he's quite upset, but he also feels glad that he got to eat so much of your delicious cooking for a week!

he exits out of the classroom, making a beeline to the canteen while he pondered and wondered what you had made him today. when he reaches the canteen, he spots you sitting on your and his usual spot.

a light smile appears on his features, as he skips through the busy crowds of students.

"[name]! whatcha' made this time?" he asks excitedly while he sits in front of you. his face visibly looks excited, awaiting to find out what you made him, making you chuckle before speaking,

"okay so, since it's the last day of you being my taste tester and stuff, i decided to make a..." you paused your sentence, reaching for something beside you.

you proudly set a bento box on the table. "bento box!" you happily said, as you awaited for his reaction.

osamu stared at the bento box with widened eyes before slowly taking it and took a short glance to you as he opened it.

a surprised gasp falls from his mouth when he completely takes off the box's lid, revealing a variety of homemade food. "aahh yes! thank yer' so much!" he says as he straight away digs into the food. you almost feel worried for him when he chokes on something when he takes a spoonful bite.

with each bite, he feels a sense of delight. his taste buds danced the marvelous taste. he then pulls up his head and looks to you with begging eyes.

"g-god, this is so good! please [name] let me be your taste tester for longer!" he exclaims, feeling a bit embarrassed, but he honestly didn't care at this moment.

your face heated at his comment, you can't tell if it's from embarrassment or something about the way he pleaded.

but nonetheless, you hesitantly nodded your head shyly. the man then happily smiles, gulping the food he chewed before speaking.

"i wanna be yer' taste tester forever."

copyright © strwbivy ↣ do not copy, translate or repost.

[eowynstwin]

Hi everyone. It's been a while—exactly a month since I last posted to this blog. How have you been?

A month isn't really all that long, but it's enough time to be able to look at everything that happened and understand it better. In the end, the whole situation (I've been calling it The Fuckening in my head) really didn't have anything to do with me. I was unlucky enough to run across someone willing to hurt anyone they could for attention, but also lucky enough that everyone who mattered to me in this fandom went to bat for me.

So I’ve decided to come back to this blog. I'll be posting about call of duty again as well as posting my writing. I also plan to blog about other fandoms (I’d already been doing it anyway); I've been getting back into rdr2, for example, and there's some writing I'd like to do for that.

There’s more context which I’ll put below the cut, but that’s the most important part of what I have to say; I often regret how long winded I can be, so the rest is just self indulgence if you can forgive it. I’ve thought a lot about this choice and I’m satisfied with my decision. I hope none of you will mind.

So, lol, things were not great outside of fandom stuff when it all kicked off, though I didn’t mention it publicly because we all know by now that asking for any sympathy when you’re the target of a mob is more likely to just get you raked over the coals harder. I’m still not entirely sure about talking about all of this, but I have a bad tendency to clam up when I really should be asking for support. So:

I mentioned briefly before the accusations started flying that I was dealing with bedbugs—turns out it was actually something else, but leading up to a doctor’s visit I was convinced I had an infestation, and I was stripping my bed every day to look for them. I had alarms set to wake me up twice a night to see if I could catch them, so I was not sleeping all that well. I couldn’t find anything, but I had no other explanation, and it was driving me fucking crazy. Post doctor visit it turns out I had a viral infection. No idea where I caught it, and nothing to do but wait it out. I had a massive, gnarly looking rash all over my body, and to add insult to injury I developed a fever that took me out for a whole weekend. (I’m recovered now but I have a nifty new scar on my hip from getting a biopsy.)

Next to that, I was having some PTSD flareups of my own. This was (mostly) unrelated to The Fuckening. Now, I understand that that might be hard to believe, given “Myka’s” claims, and I can’t make you believe me. Nor will I provide details to convince you, other than to say there were some things going on in my neighborhood that recalled a period of time in my life that was extremely unstable, and I found myself irrationally terrified to go home every day. For those of you who don’t experience the symptoms of PTSD, I think it’s appropriate to note that it isn’t just emotional turmoil; I, personally, experience physical pain in my entire body that lingers for hours, days, or even weeks after being triggered. (Everything regarding this, too, is fine now. I have a great therapist and a supportive family.)

All of this to say, I wasn’t exactly thinking rationally when I decided to leave this blog and fandom. And I regretted the decision almost instantly.

However, I didn’t want to let grief make any decisions for me, and also I was still VERY scared Myka was going to hunt down my personal information and either dox or harass me elsewhere. I think this fear was justified; it has happened to other writers in this fandom before.* So I decided to take some time to cool off and watch the situation develop without me.

I don’t think I need to get into the details—although if you’re interested in them, @fulltacs has been keeping track of the drama. Given the most recent development with the four obviously sock puppet blogs that popped up and immediately began stirring shit up again, I realized Myka probably would have done what she did with or without me. I just so happened to give her the ammunition she needed to do something REALLY big. It was pure bad luck.

(Also—and I’m sorry if this is just stirring the pot, but after everything they did to me I feel I deserve to make the accusation—I’ve suspected for a while that the two loudest blogs leading the witch hunt against me were far more involved in this farce than anyone has assumed. I have no proof and I do not want anyone to do anything about it on my behalf, leave them the fuck alone. But I will not forget the distress they caused me for a long fucking time, and the only way for me to let this go is to say my piece. So there. Done. Let that be the end of it.)

Having this hindsight, I feel comfortable coming back. I’m still very touched by everyone’s support, which in the end was louder than the harassment. I also think it’s important for people who care about fighting racism in any community not to run at the first sign of trouble, which I did, and I feel pretty sorry for.

That’s the gist of things. If you’ve read all of this, thank you for doing so!

*I was going to add a paragraph about halfmoth-halfman’s situation but decided against it. For one thing, she wants to be left alone, and for another, talking about the experiences of fans of color, particularly black fans, deserves its own post separate from my white experience, if I should even post about it at all.

[shipmansflannels]

the alchemy | shauna shipman x reader

what if I told you I'm back? see what I did there? :) anyway, I'm back. this week I'll probably update for more days in a row (tonight, maybe tomorrow and sunday too), because tomorrow is a holiday here in brazil and, as I have more time to post than on regular days, I decided to reward you. better prepare, because this is my first oneshot with shauna and I really hope you like it (I put my best effort into it because shauna is my favorite character, so that's it, I hope it turned out good.) obviously the whole thing is a reference to "the alchemy" by taylor swift, so I also hope you managed to convey what I meant by interpreting the song. enjoy!

sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!

------------------------------------------

the alchemy | shauna shipman x reader

-> prompt: you and the midfielder are secretly dating. <-

warnings: non cannon, no crash, most fem!reader but it works for gender neutral readers too, some swear words, jock!shauna, sub!reader, soft dom!shauna, jealous!shauna, very subtle smut (because I still don't know how to write one), secret relationship, platonic!jackie x reader.

***

Honestly, you could get used to it.

It wasn't like it was the worst thing in the world to not be able to admit that you and Shauna were properly together to your friends, even your closest ones. In fact, it was even exciting for you to be in a secret relationship. As an extremely private and intense person, you would hate someone noticing while you and your girlfriend were kissing in any corner and feeling entitled to have an opinion about it.

Honestly, it was much better this way. Just the two of you. And your parents. The only ones who knew you were getting to know each other better.

The whole thing started that same year, after the boring science fair proposed by the most boring teacher in the world, in which you had to stand in front of your booth with a failed attempt at a volcano that worked with detergent and bicarbonate. Shauna was at the booth next to you, also with an attempt at a ladybug that worked using a cell phone battery to get around, and she was kind enough to praise your botched project, unlike the other colleagues.

But you didn't really talk until days later. You started to notice her more, of course, more than before - because the idea that the Yellowjackets were extremely popular because of their victories over the other teams at school wasn't enough - but you didn't catch her attention until the day you were walking across the field to deliver a piece of homework to Coach Martinez and one of her kicks accidentally hit you in the face.

When you woke up, in the infirmary with a broken nose and horrible-tasting medicine, Shauna Shipman was next to you, in the worn yellow armchair next to the infirmary bed, and began pouring every apology possible in your direction, while your head was spinning and you were still groggy, looking like you were asleep.

It was the worst night's sleep you had in your life. And honestly, after that, nights of sleep were rare for you, so it didn't matter.

The thing is, Shauna was unintentionally becoming popular, and she couldn't blow the opportunity by publicly dating someone who wasn't even overly well-known - even though the kick and the broken nose had made you pretty famous in the hallways for a few weeks -. Not only because of that, but also because of the gossip and intrusions, which always happened, and which was a little more serious than the growing popularity of your girlfriend.

***

"Excuse me, can I steal Shauna for a few minutes?"

The girls on the team were sitting in the stands, after an electrifying game that brought them closer and closer to entering nationals, and Shauna hadn't come to celebrate with you as usual. Usually, whenever the Yellowjackets won, she would come running into your arms in the stands, and then you would be making out in the locker room, hiding in the small bathroom stalls, trying to escape the concentration of girls in the place.

But this time, probably to keep up appearances and for the sake of euphoria, Shauna hadn't run to you, even though she knew you were there watching her and cheering for every pass. It wasn't taken personally, of course not, because you knew that Shauna and all the students were having chaotic exam weeks and their heads were full of more important things than relationships.

She smiled as soon as she saw you put an arm around her, and, faced with the incredibly provocative looks of the other girls, with expressions of someone who already knows everything, Shauna stood up, following you, her foot limping a little from the wear and tear of running so much around the field for ninety minutes.

You checked out less-observed places and found the closest tree, and then she pressed you against the trunk and, with her hands on your face, kissed you passionately, like she always did. The butterflies in your stomach were having a party, coming and going every time her cold lips touched yours.

"You were great, baby-"

You tried to speak, but she interrupted you by pressing the kiss further.

"Shut up, let me enjoy you for a little while, then you can talk to me all night, okay?", she whispered, kissing you again, before breaking the kiss after a few seconds, to breathe. You were trying to balance yourself and placed your hands on her shoulders, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry I didn't come to you when the game ended, beautiful, my head was… a mess."

"It's okay, love. I'm proud of you for winning."

"The merit is not just mine, but I can live with it." She laughed, hugging you around your waist and resting her head on your shoulder. "So? What do you want for today? Movie night? Bar? Pizza?"

"It's your turn to choose…"

"Ah, right… I guess I have some great plans for us, then."

Her look was suggestive, and you pulled her a little closer just for the grace of kissing her again, amidst your smiles and laughter. This time, however, the kiss didn't last long. They were interrupted by Lottie calling for Shauna.

"See you on the way out, baby…", she murmured, before giving you one last peck and leaving, sweating, panting, leaving you with only the taste of mint, sweat and a silly smile, as you slid your body through the trunk, melted.

Honestly, just the two of you knowing what was going on there was the best thing you could have asked for. Because you were a good match, after all.

***

The topic of "Jeff's party" never became more talked about than weeks after the Yellowjackets won yet another title. You weren't that good friends with Jackie's boyfriend, and if you had to choose, you'd rather stay at home drinking and watching movies with Shauna, but there wasn't much choice. The Yellowjackets were a reserved seat in the venue, and there was no way to deny the invitation after so long.

Also because Shauna and Jackie were best friends, and you couldn't let your girlfriend make the mistake of hurting her best friend over a secret she could "never" tell her about. It wouldn't be that bad, despite the idea of ​​staying away from Shauna so as not to flag you up. It was an easy problem to solve.

The huge balcony of the Sadecki house. The luxurious bathrooms. The bathtub was big enough and the walls were even bigger to muffle the sounds of your laughter and kisses and moans. There would be no problem.

Except it was tempting to formulate an escape plan that actually worked.

And, of course, you couldn't escape the blandishments of Jackie Taylor, who, as Shauna's best friend, demanded to know why the two of you were always together, and why you were reluctant to come - and bringing the brunette along with this idea - and why you didn't know how to dance like her.

Well, you had never been close enough to Jackie to talk about interesting things with her, but now, at the full party and with the bunch of teenagers shouting over the loud music, it was easy to start a conversation. And it's not like she doesn't also have high marks in charisma to bring up the best topics and take you along with her.

But if you could stop to notice the looks on all the teenagers' faces dancing and drinking to Britney Spears, you'd be able to find Shauna's brown eyes fumming as she watched Jackie put her hand on your shoulders and make you sway to her rhythm.

It was as if you were harmless fucking prey living your ordinary life, and she was the hungry, desperate predator imagining imminent scenarios of how to hunt you down and take out all your flesh in one fell swoop.

Her eyes were covered by the red plastic cup that contained the liquid she needed to numb herself so she wouldn't see the rest of that humiliating scene and end up ruining Jeff's party, but things didn't get much better for you and Jackie because, at the very least, as you waited, the room started chanting "Hips Don't Lie", and you had to deal with the most intimidating scene of your entire life.

Jackie started holding onto you in the pre-chorus and, probably without meaning to, began to sway more deeply to the beat of the song, her arms around you, her lips firm on your ear near your neck, her cool breath making you shiver.

Shauna rolled her eyes, biting herself with jealousy and trying to control the urge to take Jackie away from you. Of course, half of all things were caused by drinking, but still, she was sure that you should pay for what it was doing to her.

Without thinking twice, Shauna simply stepped into the middle of the dance floor and wrapped her arms around you, taking Jackie out of the picture by taking you a little further away from her.

"What the fuck, Shauna?"

First name. Calling by nickname even with the sound turned up at the highest volume at a party full of people would not be helpful.

She glanced at you and took another sip, her brown eyes deep into you for a while.

"Shauna, what did I do wrong? We were just dancing!", you defended yourself, when you didn't get a response, and that didn't help either. The silence hovered and continued until it became torturous enough for you to want to leave, taking her by force, in a state that was a bit too worrying for both of you.

***

"I told you we could have stayed home, but you insisted on coming."

"And that doesn't mean I need to drag you everywhere I go, (Y\N)."

"We're going to fight, then, is that it?"

Taking your eyes off the road, crossing the street of her house - which you already knew by heart -, you faced Shauna, who snorted, crossed her arms and stared at the landscape in the passenger seat window, without responding. After seconds of silence and Johnny Cash's low voice filling the room, she whispered, whimpering.

"I'm sorry, baby, I don't know what came over me, it's just…", Shauna sighed, and whimpered again. "Damn, she was practically having sex with you in front of everyone, and I couldn't let my best friend take advantage of the person I'm dating like that!"

You sighed too, realizing that, despite her drunken state, Shauna still had a modicum of sanity to admit that every now and then she went overboard with excessive jealousy. Now, still, you could forgive her, and you did, sliding your free hand up her thigh, your eyes quickly turning to her face.

"I'm sorry, too, I should have watched myself more."

"Okay, anyway", the brunette whispered, clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth. "Stop the car."

"What?"

"Do what I'm asking, (Y\N), stop the fucking car."

Her tone. You closed your eyes and felt your legs tremble as you swallowed down all your fear and tension.

Obligingly, you stopped the car on an empty road and, while the other cars and pedestrians did their best to ignore you, Shauna ripped off her seat belt and climbed into your seat, sitting between your legs with a mischievous smile. Her hands snaked around your neck and she pushed herself closer as she felt your hands trail down to her hips.

"Hm, I like that. Now… I'm going to show you how to bounce for someone for real."

Your eyes widened, surprised by Shauna's malicious response, but you didn't reprimand her, much less retort. And when she began to truly bounce on you, even in the awkward seat of the car, her breathing became labored the moment the first movement began. Your nails pressed into her thigh, and Shauna moaned in satisfaction, very softly, leaning down to kiss your neck and nibble a little, because she knew you loved it.

In fact, post-fight sex was a recurring thing between you.

Your nails went down a little, squeezing her ass as she kissed you, and then you repeated the same action, hearing even more of your girlfriend's satisfying moans. Thinking about how good it was to fuck her like this, without anyone knowing, without anyone noticing. It was the best feeling ever. You wouldn't trade it for anything.

And you knew that, deep down, neither did she.

Shauna soon left her fancy clothes thrown in the backseat, and you did the same. Shortly after, you jumped into the backseat and started doing what you regularly did, without shame, without fear. Your hands slid down to take off her bra, and she did the same thing to you with the intention of leaving you completely naked in front of her.

With kisses, nibbles, touches and silly hands, you enjoyed that night like no other, before leaving again and returning to your homes as if nothing had happened.

***

"Are you waiting for someone, baby?"

Shauna whispered, startling you, as you sat waiting for her in the locker room after another of the electrifying games in which the Yellowjackets had come out on top once again. It wasn't even new anymore now.

Her laugh felt good in your ear, but you didn't have time to appreciate what she could give you in return, because you were soon pushed into the bathroom stall again, and Shauna resumed the trail of kisses she was trying yesterday along your face and body, trying to remain as silent as possible so as not to alarm any of the girls.

You responded, but it was impossible to hold back, especially when she lowered her kisses to your neck and made you want to scream by holding back your moan. Shauna was loving it, on the other hand, and just kept pushing more and more, for the grace of being able to play with you and your sanity without fear of what would come.

Or at least, who would come…

"Shauna, would you have a tampon- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!"

Jackie shouted, making you pull away from your girlfriend instantly, eyes rolling back and a sigh of almost relief escaping your lips. Shauna laughed mockingly and scratched her forehead, shaking her head.

"Can one of you explain this to me?", Jackie demanded and, instinctively, you noticed that the other girls were also with their little heads stretched towards the bathroom stall, trying to see something.

Shauna rushed in, pushing you out of the way and going to her best friend, her brown eyes downcast, dilated, the expression of someone who had just been defeated. "I've been fucking (Y\N) for a while now. That's basically it, if you haven't figured it out yet."

"Shauna!", you scolded her, even though you didn't know what to say to fix that mistake. Even more defeated, you nodded, pursing your lips. "Yeah, it is what it is, there's nothing more to say."

"You two better have a good explanation for all this, or I'm going to turn your heads into mobiles for my house one by one, I swear to God."

Jackie shouted, and, realizing that there was no longer any way to hide it from anyone - not even from yourselves -, you nodded, leaving the bathroom and going after the girl captain, trying to correct that mistake.

Well, now it was done. You had been discovered. And honestly, maybe being caught in the act just made this whole secret relationship thing even better.

You didn't even care much, to be honest. If you could still kiss and make out with Shauna as much as you wanted — even with her teammates whispering all over the place —that would be enough.

[14thgalerie]

25 — part 2

• pairing: james potter x reader

• now playing: it's a long way to happiness by alban claudin / visions of gideon by sufjan stevens

• word count: 4.7k. 

• genre: angst

  — this didn't really come out how i wanted it to and i haven't proofread this, so excuse me if it's all a jumbled mess of words. but anyways here's the ending that my angsty brain came up with.

edit: changed the other woman’s name to a random one as it felt wrong to somewhat villainise Lily in this story because i love her so much

part 1 part 3/alt. ending

“Do you love her, James?”

He quite clearly remembers that morning, how could he not when it played like a movie on his mind, making his chest tighten uncomfortably? It was your typical Sunday morning, he had the day off from the Order after a tiring long week of endless missions. He was just sitting by the dining table, switching his eyes from the window and back to watching you as you fixed up your lunch. 

His eyes were set outside when he heard you ask, a tight hold suddenly capturing his throat in its grasp, making him unable to breathe. You didn’t sound upset, your voice still as soft as if you had just asked your husband how his work had been. But hearing his name…he knew different. You had been his wife for the past four years— ten since he first called you his. Even before you had never called him by that, always by Love or some other endearment you came up with.

He forced his eyes to catch your wavering eyes, unsure if he would be able to stand what he would see. Afraid that he would crumble beneath the ground if he saw what he always prayed he would never see in them, lest caused by him. 

You did well, hiding it from him. Though your eyes were trained upon his, they were blank, absentminded, as you played with the gold ring on your ring finger. The one that matched his, the one he shakingly placed promising forever four years ago, afraid to let it slip from his grasp and embarrass himself in front of you. The two sat in silence for what seemed like forever, before you dropped your head down to your chest. Allowing James to breathe a heavy exhale.

He was about to say something, to come up with whatever response his mouth could muster when you looked back up. Your cheeks glowed as you stared at him, tinted red, similar to the pair above. You were still the most beautiful sight even as tears lined your face, he could not say the same for himself.

“I understand. I’m fine.”

You offered him a smile, one that he couldn’t appreciate like the ones before because he knew it was all forced, not how he wanted it to be.

He knew you weren't fine, how could you be?

He had been painfully aware of this for several nights already, weeks even. How could he not when from the corner of his eyes, he sees you hesitatingly glance every time the phone rings? When you rush to wash your face in the washroom just by the living room and stay there for a minute or two. When he forgets to take a shower or spell the perfume away. 

How could he not when he feels the small rustle of the sheets as you move away from him ever so slightly until he wakes to find you almost about to fall from the bed, stains on your cheeks that he, himself, wipes away, pretending he doesn’t know the reason why. Trying to fool himself into believing that he would still have you in the end, refusing to accept that was the one thing you would never let pass.

He wonders often for how long you would entertain this play but never had he voiced it out because he was afraid. 

“You should go to her. I'll take care of all of it.”

“What are you going on about darling?” He finally spoke, though he still kept up that act of his, hoping that by some divine intervention, you were talking about something else. He remembered how the corners of your lips raised in faux amusement. He waited for you to respond. 

But you let him wait, had it been an hour since or had it only been seconds, he doesn’t know. You turned the gas stove off when you heard the whistle of the kettle. Leaning back on the counter table. You were quiet, so, so quiet, a stark contrast to how you normally were. He observed every minute movement, from the rise of your chest to the drumming of your fingers against your waist as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

He doesn’t understand. 

How could you appear so calm and collected? As if you weren’t telling him to choose the other, to leave you in your loneliness in this quaint, cosy house of yours. As if you hadn’t just told him that any day from now on, he would have to wait in apprehension for the papers.

“You know what I mean, love. Let’s not let this go on for any longer than it should be. With everything going on right now, I don’t want to add to the stress. Go to her, marry her even, nobody has an idea of what our tomorrow will be so I want you to spend it where you are happiest.”

He still remembers looking at you that day, only just then noting how fragile you had become. Your once so vibrant glow had diminished leaving you muted underneath one of the sweatshirts you’ve stolen from him. He was afraid that if he even hovered over your body, you would crumble and vanish from his sight.

“James.”

He didn’t realise that you moved from your place and now stood in front of him, staring down at him, still with that loving gaze of yours. He felt the soft, gentle glide of your fingers as it hovered over the curves of his face. He leaned and followed the movement, instinctively resting his face on your hands. Clutching your wrists in his, afraid that they would slip away to a place where he cannot reach.

Even now as he sits alone in the bed where he has spent his days, drowning in the consequences of his actions, he could still feel the ghost of your touch. The bed where he wallowed in grief after having followed your wish to leave but never to the other woman.

“I can’t.” He replies finally. “I won’t.”

“Why not?” You asked him with that patient tone of yours as you would whenever he broke down in tears to you.

“I belong here with you. Nowhere else.” He shakes his head.

“Then why does she call asking for you?” 

The raven-headed woman called just a few hours earlier, without his knowledge. She had gone straight to talking, expecting that the receiver had been your husband. You had dropped the call, unable to hear any more confirmation of your husband’s affair from the woman herself.

“I’m sorry.” He exhales, the words barely audible. Taking his arms and wrapped it around your body tightly, afraid that you would slip from him. Afraid that this would be the last he could hold you closely to him. 

As he tightly closed his eyes and burrowed his head against your stomach, he couldn’t help the flurry of emotions that waved over him. A memory for every night he found himself in the arms of another.

When you said yes to a date with him after countless teasing from his friends,

When you first said "I love you,"

When you first introduced him to your family,

When he proposed to you,

The day you married, and, of course, the beginning of it all,

When he rushed to save you when he was just a weak child.

“I-I’m sorry. I know it’s hard to believe, but it was all a mistake. I just…Don’t leave me alone please.”

Warm droplets escaped James' sunken eyes. “I’m sorry.” That was all he could do. Apologise. He couldn’t say he didn’t do it because that was a lie. Air could not enter his lungs as he felt suffocated by the amount of pain that drowned him. 

You leaned and hugged the hysterical man, rubbing his back in an attempt to comfort him despite the raging emotions that waved through you. Taking your hands, you pulled his head away from your body, much harder than it might have sounded as he was tight against you.

You stared at his red face for a second, his eyes were shut, before dipping your head and placing a kiss on his forehead. When he felt the soft flesh of your lips make contact on his skin, he couldn’t help the sobs that wracked over him. Feeling that no matter what he said now, this would be the last he would feel that same tenderness from the one he loves. The kiss lingered for a few moments, your thumb caressing his cheeks as you were both in the middle of your kitchen, the world outside, unaware of what was happening to the crazily in-love Potters.

“I love you.”

You spoke against his forehead, barely above a whisper but his ears still picked up the three words that he held so dearly. And forcibly, he felt his grip on you loosen as you pushed them away. The cold breeze from the open window seemed to mock him, that this warmth he craved would never protect him from the cold ever again.

The sight of you as you walked further and further away from him that night haunted him for days and weeks. For the rest of his days.

Amid the darkness lies James, his fingers gripping the sheets of the pillowcase against his face. He lies so still, anyone that would walk in would think the man has died in his sleep. There, James lies, taking deep breaths until his head whips around at the creak of the floorboard outside his room.

“Prongs? I saved you a plate from dinner on the table if you get hungry.” He hears Remus on the other side, washing away the light that briefly popped up in him.

“I gotta go on a mission, I’ll be gone for about two days. But Sirius and Frank will be free this week, I think. So, don’t miss me too much.”

James watches as Remus’ shadow lingers from the tiny space between the door and the floor. When he doesn’t respond, he sees the dark figure leave. He feels horrible, ignoring the boys. They had moved in to accompany him shortly after you had left, staying in the guest rooms that the both of you had prepared specifically for them to stay in. But he could not find it in him to even utter a reply or show any sign of life when he didn’t even feel alive.

When he hears the footsteps slowly fade, he rolls over to the side, staring at the tattered shirt that sits beside the pillow he had just dropped. 

He sat up, grabbing the two as he went. He pulls the shirt over the pillow before hugging it close to him. Shifting to sit comfortably on the edge of the bed, he could almost hear the steady beat of your heart and the low hum of an unfamiliar song that he always forgets the title of. It’s been a month already since that day. However, for him, it felt like years already, cliche as it may sound.

The house had been emptied of you, save for a few things that you’ve decided to leave behind like the shirt he’s pathetically hugging right now. His mind still reeling from the events that occurred, only after everything had he realised what just happened. Everything had seemed to play as if on slow-mo back then.

Now, time has slowed down and restrained all of his thoughts to only you. Trapping him in this endless void where only the painful hurt dominated every sensation in his body. Memories of the nights before that dreadful day flash before his eyes, leaving him in excruciating pain. That look of defeat in your eyes, he knew. He knew that even if he tried, even if he cried enough to fill the whole Pacific Ocean, even if he finally agreed to leave this world and live with you in peace by the countryside. You would always remember the damage he had done.

Your father had done the same to your mother, he remembers. You swore that if anyone ever would do the same to you, you would give them no second chance even if you loved them so deeply, you told James exactly that— he doesn’t know exactly why he still did it with that knowledge. But he knows that he’s given you tremendous pain that would forever be imprinted in your memories and the only way he could have fixed it was to suffer the same.

His rumination was interrupted by the heavy knocks that rained on the front door. He waited for someone in the house to answer the door, not in the mood to do it. For a minute, the knocks continued, until he got annoyed by the rattle of the door already and stood. 

“Alright, I’m coming! You don’t have to bash our door in, bloody hell!” He huffs, wondering where the others had gone. He thought only Remus had a mission that day.

Stomping down the stairs, he sighed in relief when he heard the incessant knocking finally stop. When he comes to the door, he finds nobody waiting and confusingly looks around before from the corner of his eyes, he sees a manila envelope on their porch. 

James feels a heavy weight block his throat, similar to the one he felt that Sunday morning. Without even picking it up, he already knew what kind of papers awaited him inside that envelope. Every part of him went on an agonising pause, his feet remaining rooted to the hardwood floors— paralyzed, unmoving. He knew that this day would somehow arrive, but he didn’t think that it would be this fast, nor throw him deeper into the darkness where the faint light slowly fades with every day.

He lets out a shaky exhale, before dropping to pick up the envelope. Absentmindedly ripping open the package as he sat down on the bench just beside the door. As he sees the white surface of the paper, he hesitates, not sure if he really should be doing this right now. Will he sign away your marriage without even a fight?

As he pulls them out, he finds a tiny folded paper fall on his lap, catching his attention. 

‘Hi Lo, 

Sorry this took quite a while, I had no idea the process would take that long. Well, to be honest, how would I know? Every documentation we had, you managed on your own. I really hate this type of thing, but oh well, I guess I had to learn somehow. Oh, blimey, I’m rambling again! Anyways, here’s everything that they told me to give you. Meetings regarding our properties and all will be arranged some day this week, but I’ve arranged to have it at our my house so less risk with the war still going on y’know. I’ll call you so let me know when you’re free.

Take care! 

Y/N Y/LN’

The paper crumbles under his trembling hands, falling once again to James’ lap as he pushes his palms against his eyes. 

Ten years later, he had ruined the dream he already had in his hands. 

“Darling?”

The sound made him cringe, it was the one word that he had been desperately wishing to hear but not with that annoying voice that scratched at his brain the wrong way. Only reminding him of his mistakes more, he thinks to himself, ‘How did that voice even appeal to me?’

“James?” It opens its mouth again, making him curl his fingers around his hair, clutching it in annoyance. “Are you alright?”

“Do I look alright to you?” He spits out.

The woman flinches with the harsh stare that he snaps at her, unexpecting that sort of treatment from the person who had willingly approached her then.

“I- No, not really.”

“So why then, are you asking such a stupid question?” He cuts her off before she can even let out a breath, “Hell, what are you even doing here?”

“You hadn’t called me back once, I’ve left you so many since the last time we met. I just got worried…” Jane hesitates, unsure if she should continue. “I also heard about what happened to you and Y/N.”

She waits for him to respond, to which he never grants.

“I heard she approved of us. I thought that maybe we could be official now?”

“No.”

“What?”

“I never wanted more from what we had, Bell.” Jane felt her heart crumble under her feet at how James went back to calling her by her last name. “Fucking hell, I don’t even know why I ever approached you then.”

If Jane thought that was the heartbreak she just felt then, this had just served numerous stabs into her beating heart.

“I don’t understand, you said that we would-“

“When did I ever say that?” He replies, still with that spiteful look in his eyes. “We did it then I left, that was it.”

“I-“

“I never loved anyone as I loved my wife. I have been stupid as a child, even now as I made the choice to hurt her. I made stupid decisions that as much as I didn’t want it to, hurt a lot of people. Right now, I know that this is hurting you but in all honesty, I could hardly care.”

Jane could only stare at him as the tears welled up in the corner of her eyes.

“I can’t find it in me to care about anything or anyone else after her. I loved her so much, I still do. I don’t think that will ever mellow in the years to come. I’m sorry that you became involved in this mess, I never wished this on you, you just happened to be there and-“

James lets out a shaky breath, only realising he had not taken one this whole time he laid out his heart to the woman he shared his fault with. 

“I hate myself.”

His eyes drift away from hers and towards the papers that now sit beside him.

“I hate how I’m this selfish bastard. I hate how even as my wife slowly breaks apart, she still puts me first and still makes the biggest decision because she wants me to be happy even though the one place I ever felt was with her.

I hate how you became involved, I just hope that you don’t blame yourself or anything because even if I say I don’t care for your feelings right now, I never blamed you. I made the decision to do this, I’m the only one to blame for the hurt I’ve caused my love.”

He pauses for a long while. Only the rustle of the leaves down the streets could be heard along with the harsh breeze of the wind.

“I’m sorry, Jane.”

James stands, turning in his heel to go back inside to wallow in his grief again.

“Mate, that’s enough.” Sirius could not believe that he would hear those words from his own mouth but with how his best friend has been, he could not let this continue. He attempts to take away the bottle that the bespectacled man stole from the kitchen. “You’re acting like a 16-year-old kid. Give that to me, I’m getting tired.”

Alcohol had become the only way for James to numb the pain that invaded him. It was the only remedy that his mind could muster to avoid the inevitable stress of the months to come. The burning feeling in his throat as the whiskey grazed down his throat felt like a thousand razor blades. 

“Well, the only person who could stop this child doesn’t want to do it anymore, so you’ve got no choice.” Sirius solemnly stares at the lazy, empty smile that his friend flashes at him. “Do you think she’ll be happy when she sees you like this? She’s just in the next room.”

James’ grip on the bottle tightens at the reminder of how close she is to him yet so far. A reminder of how he’s been dragging the process of signing the papers, still an inkling of hope in him that she would realise that he was truly sorry for his mistake.

“Pads..”

“Yes?”

“Do you think she’ll be happy?”

Sirius knew what he meant even as the question posed to be vague. He felt a punch in his gut for how fast the answer came to him, but he knew that the man needed to hear the words that bore no sake of protecting his feelings. He saw how your vibrant and colourful self withered into such a sad pathetic remembrance of how you once were. And how after you left James, slowly but progressively came back. 

It would never be the same as it was before, he knew that nothing ever brought you as much joy as James did. The two of you were undeniably destined for one another, a pair that you could never get tired of no matter how annoying they might get. But right now…

He also knew that for not only you but also James, to individually grow back to how you once were…

“Yes.”

It would have to go back to how it was in the beginning before you even knew the other existed.

“Thank you.” James knew that Sirius was right. Letting you go was only a small act for what pain and sacrifice he put you through for several weeks. 

“Hi.”

James hadn’t expected to see you as he escaped the festivities for a moment of silence. He hoped that the crashing gentle waves of the water and night light would be his only accompaniment but this was much better.

“Hey there, got tired of Sirius’ voice?” You joked, chuckling under your breath. In turn, James lets out an amused exhale before taking a seat beside you on the white sand.

“I think my ears are bleeding actually, can you check?” The sound of your laughter makes his heart tighten in a way that it hadn’t for the past three months. Now it felt somewhat nice, like he couldn’t get enough, and he was willing to drown himself in the cold waters if it meant he could hear it once more.

“Hmmm,” You check his ears, “You’re all good, Mr. Potter.”

You stare up at the sky. The night sky hangs overhead in hues of black and blue. You decide to keep your mouth shut, letting silence envelop the air surrounding the both of you. Keeping your eyes straightforward, flickering to the side every once in a while. After some time, you felt the feeling of being watched prickle on your skin. Only by moving your eyes, you catch the curly-haired eyes on you with a soft expression painted on his face. His eyes catch onto yours and hold them for a moment. 

You lean back on your arms, “It’s weird huh?”

“What is?”

“Moony and Pads finally getting married after so long.”

“Yeah, it feels nice to see how they ended up together in the end. God, I can’t even imagine how many times Moons denied his feelings. I was this close to ripping my hair off watching them wallow.” He reminisces

“Can’t believe how it only took that girl from the pub kissing Sirius for Remus to finally make a move.” You chuckle at the memory, “Now we’re here.”

James felt like the both of you were back to how you once were like everything that happened in the past three months was just a fever dream and you’re here to prove that. You kept on reminiscing about your memories with your two best friends. He remembered how Sirius almost passed out crying when they first saw Remus in the hospital wing. When the latter was the first to ask how Sirius was after he ran away from his house. The two of you laughed and giggled with every memory that came to mind.

At some point, a comfortable silence swept over you two. Only the sounds of the beach during the night and the chatter of the people inside the venue were heard until silence also ensued inside. His ears perked up, wondering why until he finally heard a slow song start to play and realised that the two must finally be having their dance.

“Can I ask you for something?” James breaks the silence, playing with the hem of his button-up polo. He continued with your nod, “Dance with me.”

He stands, extending his arms towards you. 

“One last dance, Mrs. Potter.”

You take his hands and press a gentle kiss to his knuckles, the cool metal of his gold ring grazing her cheeks as they cup her cheeks. James sucked in a shaky breath as you pressed your forehead against his, pulling it down to your level, breathing in your scent, locking it in his memory.

“Alright then, Mr. Potter.”

The next afternoon, arriving home after the lengthy travel from the wedding, did you only see the manila envelope that sits atop your clothes. It came with a small note written in familiar strokes that you would recognize even if your eyes were closed.

‘I’ve signed them already, I’ve postponed them for too long already. Thank you for letting me have that last dance tonight, darling. I’ll see you then.’

Time flew fast for James. One minute, he was still holding you in his arms as the grainy sand stuck to his feet, the next he was standing in front of 12 Grimmauld Place, minutes after Dumbledore had declared the end of your marriage. You had asked the man for a favour to help you process the lengthy and troublesome. Knowing that going to the court would give you the attraction that you would rather not have on the both of you now that you are all in hiding.

“James.” You call him. “Uhm, before you go, I just wanted to thank you… for letting me have this with no problem and also, of course, for letting me have the chance to love you and letting me experience the love that only James Potter can give.”

“Y/N.. I hardly think that was the greatest experience.” 

“No, it wasn’t. We wouldn’t be here if it was. But, I would be the greatest liar on the face of the earth if I deny the fact that you were the greatest love that anyone could ever have, annoying as you might have been at times,” She giggles. “But, I’ve never felt more secure and sure of someone as I had with you, and to be honest with you? I thought of giving you a chance, as much as it contradicted what I told you back when we first started dating.”

His breath hitches at the confession, his mind going into a haze, wondering if he pushed more, then you might have given him that chance.

“Why didn’t you?” He asks. 

“I somewhat did. I waited for you to explain, to tell me yourself. I thought to myself, ‘If he tells me, I might think about forgiving him’, but I would have given you a hard time. But you didn’t, so I scratched that thought.”

“Y/N…” He trails off, “You just broke my heart even more. But well it’s all done now. It’s all been settled and we’re officially back to being single. It feels weird, it’s like for so long, you’ve been there next to me, and now you won’t be.”

“It does. James…?” 

“Hmm?”

“If ever you find someone to love again, promise me that you won’t make the same mistake again.’

“If only you promised me to find someone who would love you just as I did, minus the thing of course.” He replies.

You nod, making him smile a little. Even if it wasn’t by his side, he would be content with the idea that you were happy, in love or not. For the last time, he comes close to you and presses a kiss on your forehead and down to your lips. He could taste the salty tears that cascaded on not only his cheeks but yours also. 

For the last time, you murmur against his lips. “I love you, Prongs, always and forever.”

James was 25 when the person he loved walked away from him and he could do nothing but smile in hopes that they would find happiness wherever and whatever they do. Breaking his last promise to you as he knew that…

Even as you’re millions of miles away from him or just on the next block, he would hold a piece of you in that hole in his heart everywhere he goes, and in everything he will do.

masterlist

[revserrayyu]

2.5 trailer thoughts

I usually keep all my thoughts together for the story events, but I'm far too excited thanks to a certain character to contain all my excitement, so.. allow me to fangirl about the new trailer from today's livestream a little bit.

(there's really no spoilers but i'll kindly put everything below since it'll be a lot of chatter anyways)

Starting off with how bestest boy Luka is here! Not exactly sure how he hopped planets.. but I'll speculate about his arrival later. I do remember reading some people bring up a npc in the Shackling Prison who mentioned seeing a dude with a metal arm, but I never imagined it to be our boy and that he would actually physically be here!

I'm still a tiny bit bitter he never showed up during any main story mission, though it makes sense since he was released after the events of Belobog happened, so any time he's mentioned or we catch a glimpse of him makes me happy. Letting him get his own side event during this 2.5 patch too will be nice for him too!

I'm so fond of him and I'm always surprised how many people just don't care for the guy. I can understand how he could be a bit forgettable or not an impressive unit though, since I don't even have him built up either despite all the instances I told myself I would.

I know some people aren't fans of his design either, but c'mon, he's cute! Look at this buff, cheerful man with those pretty blue eyes, piercings and little ponytail! Aahhh.. he's precious to me.

Time to add Luka to the 'beat up Yanqing' squad alongside Blade, Jingliu, Dan Heng, Yunli and whomever else I'm forgetting. I hope our favorite boxer knocks his lights out.

Now for the spectators! I didn't notice her while first watching the livesteam, but Topaz is here! With Numby on her lap too, of course. And I was gonna assume that perhaps that's how Luka managed to arrive on the Xianzhou, courtesy of the IPC and their many connections, but then I remembered Topaz was just in Penacony.. so unless she went back and forth between planets then who knows how our boy ended up here. We can always guess the Express picked him up too. I dunno.

We even got Hook cheering on her fellow Moles member! Hard to miss Svarog there too though I wonder if Clara is with him and perhaps we just don't see her in this shot? I wanna say he trusts her enough to be on her own but then that brings up why would he even leave her side in the first place and not keep watch of the Underground, unless Svarog decided to join just to support Luka. That would be a nice little form of respect carried over from our boxer's mission. And Lynx which naturally leads me to question where Serval and Geppie could be right now. I can't imagine Gepard would be fine with having Lynx travel all the way to a new planet when the guy gets stressed out about her simply venturing into the snow plains during her job. Serval on the other hand.. yeah, she's totally let Lynx travel. But I'd still much rather see all the siblings around more! I miss them terribly! I'd love it if there were more Belobogians in the crowd that we just didn't get to see yet but I'm thankful we even get a few and learn that they're finally able to venture away from their cold, icy planet and experience new places like this.

And lastly we have the most handsome man in all of space and Qingque who is undoubtedly avoiding work. The two of them did actually meet previously during that silly hotel checkout event in Penacony so it's fun to seem them be friendly still.

Yeah, okay, so here's where I start to go crazy over our Lacking General more. What a surprise, right? I mean, how could I not after seeing her storm into battle whilst riding a ship like this??

At first, I also didn't notice it was Yukong who said the "Feixiao, the ports of Starskiff Haven are crawling with wolf-like creatures. They're moving fast," lines. My excitement for Feixiao clearly took priority. (I am curious why she bothered to say wolf-like instead of Borisin though? If Yanqing knows about them then surely Yukong knows what they are, right?)

Even if it's just a quick cutscene, I'm so thrilled for us to finally see Yukong fight! We've heard enough of her pilot days so something as simple as this is great, though I'd love to see her fly again too.

Feixiao coming in hot to aide her war buddy, still looking badass as ever, let's gooo!

Ma'am do you know how amazing you are??

She told Yukong to "Hold them back, I will be there immediately" and she definitely kept her word! Even using her follow up attack, or something visually similar to it.

That grin… oh god. I would willingly stand on the other end of her gunblade in order to see that prideful smirk of hers. (also never realized that pattern on the inside of her jacket before. that's pretty neat.)

*Mandatory screenshot for me to giggle and kick my feet to while I obsess over how beautiful her design is* tee-hee~

Okay so for this bow and arrow shot, there could always be the chance that this style of bow is standard and that all military personal use them, but since we don't see that many archers, I'm gonna blissfully assume she's borrowing Yukong's bow here. I was kinda amazed to see Feixiao capable of wielding a bow and arrow too, considering she's already mastered her gunblades and battleaxe, but hey, it just adds to her talent. It makes more sense after seeing that teaser of her upcoming myriad video though.

Ohhh buddy.. I know our lady experiences Moon Rage but I wasn't expecting her to go off quite like this!

Not only is she strong as fuck already but she's gonna end up as a boss fight too? Brooo.. that's insane. I love it. I pray she gets an awesome battle theme.

Now while her condition is certainly a big problem, I don't think she just decided "hey let me go insane at this very moment" and gave into it willingly. I'm sure she's gained a certain amount of control over it throughout the years, so my assumption coupled with her statement of her "lacking in worries" leads me to believe that something or someone (aka Hoolay) forced her into this state..

.. because hot damn, she looks positively possessed. It's such a simple detail but the red ring around her eyes is so effectively chilling, like you know you're in danger when you see her like this. I love this shot of her, honestly. I'm not gonna straight up say that Hoolay is controlling her somehow either, but more like Feixiao lost control of herself. What would get her to snap? I dunno, perhaps any bad news surrounding Jiaoqiu. You know, her right hand man who's supposed to keep her in good health. He wasn't spotted anywhere in the trailer, so who knows what happened to our master chef.

Huaiyan can be heard saying "Merlin's Claw, you have betrayed the alliance," but with how deep Feixiao's hatred is for Hoolay and the Borisin, I have my doubts about that. Of course, we could've all been played for fools and the two could actually be acquaintances of some sort, but it still wouldn't make sense to me. The only similarity these two could possibly bond over is Hoolay's line of them both being "monsters that were born for war and die for war."

I'm not saying I wouldn't love an evil Feixiao, since I do have my fair share of villains, but yeah. Anyways, obligatory screenshot to make me swoon even more.

Also I haven't a clue about what this light is or who or what it's coming from either but I for sure thought it was gonna wipe out our General the first time I watched the trailer..

only for her to just.. ignore it completely. Or re-direct it ever so slightly away from her. Either way, I'm impressed.

Naturally the trailers go by real quickly and are never in story sequence order so I could be totally wrong about this, but I wanna assume Feixiao regains control over herself during the fight to take down Hoolay? If her normal eyes and confident grin are anything to go by anyways.

After hearing bits and pieces about how Jingliu was the one who originally defeated Hoolay, the master of ice does indeed show up again for the upcoming patch! Oohhh I'm so excited. I wonder if Jing Yuan had anything to do with her sudden appearance considering she was locked up on another ship. Imagine if we get to see her and Feixiao team up in order to take down the beast? Oh my god, I think I'd pass out if we get such a scene!

It may just be this one screenshot, but her expression doesn't really seem like she's accepting an alliance with Hoolay. Still feels like there's some anger there to me. Maybe distrust. But nothing close to joy or calm. Or this scene could just be an illusion. Who knows.

Wouldn't it be grand though, if all of this was sorta planned? To get this close to Hoolay but instead of siding with him (because why on earth would Feixiao do such a thing) but to figure out if the war head is truly capable of providing a cure for her condition like Jiaoqiu hoped? Or perhaps she's just getting close to him to get her revenge in a sort of 'keep your friends close but your enemies closer' sort of way, yeah?

Many ideas and many days left until we get our answers. One thing is certain though: we need Jiaoqiu back at her side please, like now! Sir, please come back and calm down your General!

[anific]

Obsessed

Takigawa Chris Yuu X Reader

Fluff and Comfort

Warnings: None (?)

It was quite pathetic, really.

How were you able to spend so many hours on someone's Instagram account? And that someone wasn't even anybody important in your life...well in the current moment anyway

But it's just that you couldn't help it. You couldn't help but look through your boyfriend's ex's platforms

But in your defense, you just wanted to find out about her. But you didn't expect to act this crazy about it. It was almost comical how you seemed so obsessed with her if it wasn't so sad that you were trying to find reasons why they even broke up, and how you were able to catch your boyfriend's attention. Because how can anybody even compare to that?

You feel a sense of dread fill you as you imagine them acting all cute together. Can you do that? What if Chris wakes up one day and decides he wants to get back with her?

Lost in your negative train of thought, you didn't hear the door opening and your beloved boyfriend walking in with takeouts from your favorite restaurant. You didn't even hear him when he was calling your name

Chris walks up behind you to see that you are on a somewhat familiar Instagram profile, he also takes note of the way you are frowning as you scroll through her photos. Most of them he's never even seen since he had no contact with her since they last talked about their breakup

Well, it wasn't like that was his biggest concern, he was more worried at the expression on your face. Now, he wasn't a mind reader, but he could at least tell that there was something that was bothering you

"What are you doing?" You almost jump in surprise when you feel him rest his chin on your shoulder

"Just you know, looking through Insta." You reply cooly as he hums in response

"Is that all?" He asks

"Yep." You smile as you turn your head to face him but he merely gives you a knowing look as you sigh

"It's nothing important...really." You try to brush it off, but that is far from the truth. Insecurity was eating you up alive, you just didn't want him to think you were childish for getting jealous over an ex (Though in your defense, she was a definite catch)

"Alright, I won't force you to say anything." He says calmly, "But I hope you know that you can always talk to me." He finishes as you bite your lip, contemplating what to do. Should you open up to him? Should you just keep it to yourself?

"I-it's just that..." You start quietly

"Just that...?"

"Your ex is too amazing, you know?" You frown, fixing your sitting position on the couch to face him properly, "Just, she's so cool, pretty, talented, and smart! How is that fair? How can I compare to that? How can I beat that? How could you move on from that? Just how?" The words just kept on tumbling out of your mouth as Chris listened intently, not cutting you off and letting you speak out your thoughts

Once you were done, Chris remained silent for a few moments, waiting to see if there was anything else you wanted to say

"Is there more?" He asks softly as you shake your head and look away from him, too embarrassed to even face him

"Alright, I'll talk now then." He says calmly before softly making you face him

"You know I love you, right?" He begins as you nod, he was always sure to assure you he loves you after all

"I'm not going to disregard your feelings on this. But I've moved on from her, I don't even have any connections to her anymore." He explains as you listen to him intently, but still, you have a hard time keeping eye contact

"I'll say it again and again no matter how many time, and I'll prove it time and time again but I love you." Finally, you meet his eyes to see them have such a soft look. For you. Just for you.

"So...you really don't think of her?" You mumble as Chris chuckles

You frown at him but it soon melts when you feel his finger gently rub your cheek

"How can I when I already have you?" You blush at his words, you think that no matter how long you and Chris have been together, you don't think you'll stop growing so flustered when he was like this. So sweet, so soft, and oh so reassuring

"You always know how to put me at ease, don't you." You smile coyly as he hums

"I try my best." He smiles before leaning in and sealing the discussion with his lips, and just like always, he was able to make you feel loved.

[yellowhollyhock]

spoilers

mm angel!

(I'm sorry they're the mm turtles I'll use the popular tag for spoilers but after that it's back to mm tmnt. 2012 show was already called tales and tottmnt looks too much like rottmnt. Besides that I'd already been using mm tmnt when we even learned the show would be a thing. I'm sorry for being stubborn about this but I gotta be able to remember and navigate my own tags. they are the mutant mayhem movie universe. forever)

Anyways. Angel!!

Okay so I'm a little scared, because the first impression we get is very much her being just mean, felt a lot more like Kendra than Angel. I know I'll enjoy her more if I don't go in expecting 03 Angel and I'm trying buuuut it's difficult. I'm also hopeful though because the Purple Dragons as a group seem like vulnerable kids making some bad choices in a dangerous and difficult situation. Which is really at the heart of the role Angel usually plays in the story.

And they are all! So much fun! Chainsaw guy is not a character I expected to like so much! And I love this Hun!! I kinda feel like the only reason for him being named Hun was to set certain expectations for us so they could subvert them, but honestly I'm here for it. I enjoy being surprised by a character being way nicer than I expected.

Are the Purple Dragons teens or adults though? It doesn't matter a super lot but I do want to be able to tell, especially since Casey is likely connected with them. Is Casey still an older role model for Angel? Usually Caseys are April's age but nothing in tmnt is ever set in stone. Casey's age is also gonna effect his/her dynamic with the turtles and I reallllly hope we do get Casey being close with them. I know rise Cassandra could've had a great dynamic with them if there'd been more seasons but if we have to make up Casey's friendship with them ourselves again I will be rather sad

If the Purple Dragons are teens close to the turtles age (which is the impression I got but I'm not confident in it), I would love to see their friendships develop with all the turtles, and (because I post about this all the time, I'm sure it's a question someone is asking,) I don't think I'd ship this Angel with any turtles regardless. That could change, I don't know her or them super well yet, but so far I don't see it. I might ship Raph with Hun though, which is not a sentence I ever thought I'd type ever in a million years

Anyways most of all I'm extremely super excited because!! Being the leader of the PDs and the dynamic they gave her with Hun I think we're gonna see a lot more of this Angel than we ever did for 03! Raph stole her bike so are definitely seeing her again XD (also didn't catch the new lady's name in spite of how many times they said it but Short Rich Lady using a teenage gang because the one thing she doesn't have is muscle is defs a villain I want to see more of, and I hope specifically her vs Raph)

And I was a little skeptical when she came in as The Boss who yells at her team, but she also does clearly want to protect them and I'm interested to learn more about her. I wonder if we'll get their backstory? Very big sister vibes which is so fun because Angel is usually very little sister vibes. I wonder if she'll have any fun parallels with Leo the way Hun did with Raph

Okay I need to actually watch more episodes before I say more which probably won't be till this evening but I had to say something about Angel I'm so excited I love her so much

[lemotmo]

Good evening, lovely. Ali here. I am done for the night and I am tired. They are BIG mad. Surprisingly though him liking the Ryan picture is still the thing they seem most upset by, they just make no sense at all. I did get a surprising amount saying things like 'we need to start acknowledging the likelihood of what we're seeing' which was a nice change of pace from all the shouting. But I fear Oliver and Ryan will never be able to defuse the rumors now 🤣. I reminded several people that Kenny, not 911, was responsible for most of the content we received today so only one post was official PR. It was a big something though. I can't talk them down from the 911 comment replies though, those were truly surprising. I'm still stunned the Eddie Mercury comment got a reply. That was quite a big wink and nod to queer Eddie.

There are many many more I didn't reply to. Hope your box fared better than mine.

Anyway they both looked incredible today and the powers that be are making it increasingly difficult to not go there so.........💗

Hey Ali, you got through it! YAY! Good for you! Take a break, drink some water, eat something, watch some trash TV and get some rest.

I totally understand the exhaustion after answering so many asks. I cannot begin to tell you just how tired I am at this point. I'm running on fumes. I've been sitting here all evening (and night now), watching everything unfold and replying to as many asks as I could. After this I'm straight off to bed to catch up on some sleep.

I've seen them get so pissed over Lou liking that picture and I still don't get it. It's just a picture. One of my nonnies figured out that Lou knows the photographer, which makes sense since both Lou and Ryan are artists. They probably do know some of the same people.

Glad to see that some of these people are coming back down to Earth from Loupiter. It was about time.

Yeah, Kenny's videos created so much havoc. I have a feeling that he lives for creating messes. Love him so much! His videos, combined with the official promo done by Ryan and Oliver? Those two truly were everywhere today and they looked so FINE! That moustache is doing things to me I didn't know a moustache could do. :b LOL!

As for those comments on the official Instagram account: I talked about that as well in one of my asks. They were so surprising. The 911abc account normally only posts and doesn't interact all that much. But that post got quite a few replies and like you said, the Eddie Mercury one was very much about queer Eddie. It's interesting.

I have a ton of unanswered asks in my inbox, but I can't physically reply to all of them. It's impossible. I would be at it for hours on end each day. I might go back in tomorrow though. I didn't really look at the lasts couple of asks I got. I'm saving that for tomorrow. I'm too tired. I need sleep.

So goodnight. ❤️

I'll have some happy dreams tonight, for sure.

PS: From now on I'm posting all our messages and correspondence under the tag 'Ali's corner'. Makes things a bit more personal than 'anonymous blog I love' and it's easier to find as well. I'm keeping the 'anonymous blog I love' tag purely for the asks I get sent.

[haleigh-sloth]

Hi, I hope you're doing well.

Do you have any new series that you're hoping to start after mha ends?

HI! I am doing good thank you for the well wishes.

And YES!

I'm really looking forward to catching up on some I've started and taken a break from. I'm actually currently reading several series right now, just all but one of them (not including BNHA) is on hold.

I need to catch up on Blue Exorcist and Black Butler. I think those will be 2 of my priorities. I would really like to catch up and then watch the new anime seasons that have come out for them that are continuing the original story from the manga. Just so happens that lucky me, they both got new seasons continuing their stories like right at the same time.

I also need to catch up on D.Gray-Man, but honestly I need to re-read it (again) before I play catch up. Given the slow pace it releases at, this isn't a priority atm but I will do it eventually. I've been following the manga since I was 15 years old so I WILL be doing it justice by making sure I fully understand everything going on when I read the chapters.

I'm a volume-only reader of Durarara and still have one volume that is currently out in english to read before I'm as caught up as I possibly can be, but also this comes out at a slower pace so it's not a high priority right now.

I did start Daemons of the Shadow Realm (Arakawa's new series) and made it to chapter 8 some time last year, but then life got in the way and I couldn't focus on it. I've been collecting the volumes so I can read the physical copies as they release as much as I can before reading it online. This one is a priority as I've been super excited about it ever since I heard it was going to exist. So this will come sooner rather than later.

I also started Choujin X WAAAAYYYY back when it first released but for the same reasons as always life was just too busy and BNHA took up too much brain space. I've heard it's really good, and would like to start it over and continue reading it as it releases, so I'm looking forward to that. Not a priority so it might be a while, but I will be reading this one also.

I have had a tab open to Delicious Dungeon open for months. Since it's actually completed, I'd really like to knock that one out soon. So priority-wise, this may come before all of the others on this list.

I'm also currently reading, and fully caught up on Oshi no Ko, which is now probably my favorite ongoing series out of all of the ones I'm invested in right now. The only series that isn't on hold. Despite BNHA taking up so much brain space, this manga managed to keep its spot in my brain. I super love it, and it's in its final arc. So I'm really excited to see that one through to the end.

Non-manga things, I'm in love with Hazbin Hotel. Even though it'll be a bit before we get the next content release, this one still lives rent free in my brain so.

But yeah, I've actually been anticipating BNHA ending for some time now because of all these other things I want to read but just...couldn't. Lol. Now I'll be able to. And it'll help me cope with the ending of BNHA better I think, and help me shift into the mindset of "these people aren't real I can do with them what I want". Because for most series I actually have a way easier time with that, but for BNHA I was just way to invested in canon making me happy. The only other series I have the same intensity for right now is Hazbin, with one particular character also (guess who). So we'll see how that goes, though I trust the creator of that series significantly more....lol. But I'd like to be able to detach and have fun from now on rather than...dwell. Idk.

But yeah anyway I'm super excited for all the things listed above!

[donghoonie-3]

New Manager???

✧.* Part 4: Feeling any better? ✧.*

m.list ♡ previous ♡ next

Warnings: slight angst? Sunghoon is a bit sad plus he's got a hangover. Not proof read 🤕 if I make any mistakes and you wanna tell me feel free to lmao.

NOTE: I tried not making it confusing since I wrote two parts that happen at the same time 🤕 so for yours to know they're happening at the same time I put at the start of yns pov "it's 1pm" and rhe same thing for sunghoons pov. But I think with the description of hoon it'll be obvious that's its at the same time aksnsn gonna shut up now 😍.

Its 1pm, you park your car in the parking lot. You get your things and get out of the car with Heeseung, making your way to the apartment the boys share which is close to the hybe building.

"Did yous have fun last night?" You ask Heeseung, referring to when they went out drinking. "Huh?" He looks at you confused, not knowing where you got that information from. "Sunghoon told me, he actually wanted me to go with yous but I wasn't able to" you explained.

He "ohhs" to your explanation, "why weren't you able to go?" Heeseung asks, you both stop in front of the apartment door and you search through your bag for the keys. "I had some work to catch up on" you say and the boy nods to your reasoning. You take the found keys from your bag and open the door. You both make your way up to the room the boys share, you live in the same apartment as them which is common for managers.

Once you're at the room you open the door and walk in. "We're here!!" Heeseung shouts but gets no response. You place the bags with groceries on the kitchen counter and start to unpack everything. "Should I help you with anything?" Heeseung asks you but you shake your head, "no no it's fine, I got it" you say.

"If you say so...I'll go take a shower then" he says as he watches you take things out the bag, you hum in response and then he leaves.

As you finish with the bag you start to put the things you bought to where they should go. You wonder how Sunghoon is doing, hoping his headache has gone down at least a bit. For the past two days you've been with the boys he really caught your attention. You don't think much of it though, it's not like you can anyways. You have to keep things professional or else you'll most likely get fired.

Once you're done with all the groceries you make some soup and tea for the boy you were thinking of. It should help with the hangover. You bring the food and painkillers to him.

"Hey, it's me yn" you say knocking on his door. "Come in!!" You hear Sunghoon shout from his bedroom so you come in. You notice how tired he sounds.

You see Sunghoon sitting in his bed, lightly smiling at you. "Feeling any better?" You asking him as you place the food you made him on the bedside table.

"I wish I could say yes" Sunghoon laughs it off. "Well...this should help, and I got you painkillers too" you smile and hand him the pills, he looks up at you as he reaches his hand out for the packet, you notice how pretty his eyes are. Almost getting lost in them. The way his eyes are literally sparkling. So pretty, you think.

"Thank you" Sunghoon says which confuses you. Did he hear what you thought? Or did you say it out loud by an accident?? "What?" You ask him.

"The pills, Thank you for getting me them and the food" he giggles. Thats when you realise your hand is still on the packet that you're handing to him, his hand being on it too. You're such an idiot yn!!! You think to yourself. "Oh! Yeah haha, no problem" you awkwardly say, taking your hand back to yourself.

While you're busy dying of embarrassment, you don't notice Sunghoons cheeks and ears getting red from you looking at him for a little too long which he's not complaining about. Hes grateful that you seemed to not notice his blush.

"I'll get going now" you say softly and turn around, walking away. "Oh yeah and we have a meeting with txt later, if you cant go it's fine. You should really rest" you quickly say and turn to him then walking out.

It's 1pm, Sunghoon scrolls through twitter and sees the post Heeseung and you made. He pouts as he sees them. "I only met her, there's no way..." he thinks out loud. He doesn't know why he's feeling this way. Why his stomach flips when he saw those posts. Is it jealousy? But why? He doesn't want his feelings to get to him so he ignores it.

He turns his phone off and gets out of bed. Making his way to the kitchen to get something to eat, like you told him to. Hopefully the headache will go away. "Hey Sunghoon" Jay greets him from the kitchen table. "Hey" Sunghoon says back.

He makes himself a quick sandwich and pours himself some water before sitting down next to Jay. "You okay? You look tired" the older asks. "Yeah just got a hangover." Sunghoon replies bluntly. And for some reason feeling jealous. Sunghoon thought.

The thing Sunghoon always ends up doing when he get too deep into his thoughts is zoning out, going into a little place of his own. Without realising, Jay took a photo of him while he was thinking of the annoying strange feeling.

"We ran out of painkillers didn't we?" Jay says while looking at his phone, ready to make a tweet thinking nothing much of it. "Yeah but yn said she'd go get them" Sunghoon says, snapping out of his thoughts.

"She said it in the group chat. She's also going with Heeseung" the younger continued as be got up to put his plate and cup into the sink and washing them. "Ah okay" Jay replied, putting his phone down.

Once Sunghoon was done wish his dishes he dried his hands and left the kitchen with a quick bye to Jay. He lays on his bed and unlocks his phone, checking twitter again which is when he sees Jay's posts.

A couple minutes after the little chit chat under Jay's tweet the member shows up in his bedroom. Sunghoon looks at the direction of his door opening, seeing him with a slightly worried look. "You sure you okay?" He asks as he goes to sit on the chair Sunghoon has in his room by the desk. "Yeah" Sunghoon doesn't make eye contact.

"You know I can tell when somethings up" Jay replies, wanting to know if his friend was okay. "It's honestly nothing, if anything did happen I'd tell you" Sunghoon tells him, making eye contact again.

"Fine" the older sighs, "I'm in my room if you change your mind" he says before getting up to leave.

Another while goes by and Sunghoon hears Heeseung shouting across the place. He decides to stay in his room though. Scrolling on his phone, sitting comfortably in his bed and trying to get through his day with his awful headache. He's not drinking that much again.

All of a sudden he hears a knock on his door following by your soft voice, it makes him smile. He tells you to come in and as soon as he sees you he also notices the soup and tea you brought him. He's known you for two days and you're already making him feel warm? He doesn't care though, he doesn't care about that weird feeling he had when you and Heeseung went shopping. He's happy to see you and only you right now.

"Feeling any better?" He hears you ask as you place the food on his bedside table.

Taglist: @hoonieswhore @en-happiness @beommii @stellarpsh @thisisnotjacinta ( If you wanna be added to this taglist, let me know!! Please have your age in bio. )

[stuiie]

hi! *Waves a bit shyly* I just wanted to say I've really been enjoying your fic, the color of you!! I found it while scrolling yesterday and started it at some point and was barely able to put it down, only pausing for things I had to do XD I ended up staying up late after some events and reading it and before I knew it it was 5 am, I could hear the birds chirping and I could barely keep my eyes open hehe. Made it through chapter fourteen though, huzzah!

You're writing is truly a joy to read and I really love how you've crafted the story! I honestly have ended up seeing myself reflected in Ducky in ways I wasn't expecting and it's made me ponder on some things heh (/positive). I appreciate the patience and effort you put into the slow burn!! I truly enjoy build up to relationships and the wait has been truly worth the reward as I'm arriving to the part where Ducky is actually entering into the relationship! I really appreciate the thought and kindness and heart you've put into some pretty hefty topics as the story progresses, and really enjoyed how you portrayed it narrative wise (my main thoughts especially being on her working through her lack of attraction towards the guy/men and her frustration over it, something I've also been dealing with lately ahah, so it was actually really nice to read someone uh. Also upset over a lack of 'normal' feelings so to speak, and over similar things (though thankfully a much kinder situation in my case). And the other being how you handled Nat confessing! It made a lot of sense for her to be morally distraught over her attraction to her, and I love the grace in which you wrote those emotions and experience!)

I've also enjoyed the ability to project a little neurodiversity onto y/n, whether or not that was intended! Its always quite nice to feel kindred in that way in regards to y/n's and honestly some of my favorite fics have that element to them. Anyways uh! Wonderful story so far! Can't wait to read more but also dreading catching up bc then I'll have to wait and be patient tehe (/silly). Thank you so much for sharing it!!

~ @anactualwolverine

Hi there sweet anactualwolverine,

Aaah, my teeth hurt from how incredibly sweet you are. Your words hit me right where I needed it the most, and knowing you enjoy the story so much fills me with such warmth. All I wanted was to create a healing fic, one for all of us who just want to feel that comfort and kindness. But I do hope you got some well-deserved rest after reading so many chapters; I'm impressed you powered through to chapter 14 😍.

It really does something to me when I get messages where you and others can see yourselves in Ducky, and I hope it brings you some comfort to know you aren't alone. Ducky is special to me, and I have to admit I wish she were real so I could hug her. I love writing Natasha and Wanda caring for her.

And yes, Ducky's journey to self-discovery and attraction was a delicate process and something I struggled with a lot when I was younger. I wanted to shed light on the inner thoughts and feelings that can go through your head during that journey. Again, it makes me so happy that you share your thoughts on this, how you've experienced it, and can relate. It warms my heart.

Oh, and it pleases me so much that you highlight Natasha's confession and the struggles she had with her feelings for Ducky. It's something I had hoped would come through in a good way. So thank you truly for sharing your thoughts on it.

I wish you the best week, and thank you again for taking the time to send me this absolutely lovely message.

[ghostedgrave]

IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED SEASON 5 YET AND DON'T WANT SPOILERS, DON'T READ!!!!!

SPOILERS INVOLVE CHARACTER DEATH!!!!

OKAY.. so I started watching the 5th season of BSD now that my sister has finished rewatching BSD up to 4th so we could watch it together, and I got to the part where Akutagawa dies. Let me say, I REFUSE to believe he did. I have PROOF!!!!!!! (...Or maybe I'm just in denial.) It's not much, but the scene where Fukuchi and Tachihara are fighting.

(The first image is a bit blurry, so I apologize for that.)

Tachihara wanted to end himself before Bram Stoker could turn him into a vampire, but Fukuchi stopped him before he was able to.

Honestly, why would he had gone through the trouble in trying to stop him when he knew he could just have Bram turn him into a vampire?

My theory is that he knows Bram's ability won't work if the character is dead. Which is why he stopped Tachihara from ending it. Otherwise he would have let him die.

This is why I think Akutagawa is still alive, because going off of that theory, that would mean he'd have to be alive in order for him to turn into a vampire.

But then again I may be wrong and I haven't watched the rest of the season yet. (I need 4 more episodes.) I also need to catch up on the manga. I hope Akutagawa is alive. (Edit:) I also have more evidence, though part of it is more like do you really think Asagiri would kill off Akutagawa?

Anyways, here's the evidence for what I'm going to say:

Dazai predicts most, if not, EVERYTHING. If he's been planning to make the next Double Black for the next "real catastrophe", using Atsushi and AKUTAGAWA, I highly doubt he's dead. Or will die. I mean, he was going to use them against Fyodor. And that man is hella powerful.

Of course they only went up against Fukuchi, who is more powerful than Fyodor, but! Like I said, Dazai predicts everything. He's insane. Genuinely. He's definitely insane, but is extremely smart. He does things for a reason.

Now the part where I don't think Asagiri would kill him. I just REALLY don't think he would but then again, it's Asagiri. It's his work.

The only reason I can come up with as to why he'd kill off Aku is for angst.

And I also don't think he'd be dead because they spent a little more longer on Akutagawa's death scene + it just doesn't feel like a death. I'm really in denial of his death. I just don't think so. BUT PLEASE AKU LIVE YOU'LL LIVE I'LL SACRIFICE MY FUTURE CHILD PELASE AKUTAGAWA