#anyways we should bring crossovers back

[fentennyson]

Anybody else miss when crossover groups were popular?

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Deck the Halls 🎻

Bale!Bruce Wayne x Wife!reader

A/N: This is the ultimate crossover, Bale!Bruce and Christmas, what more could you want??? I don't know quite how I feel about it mainly because I wrote most of it at 3 am lmao. Love-hate relationship, I guess. I hope you like it, anyway!

~Fi 🐝

Fi's Christmas Market ☃️

Warnings: implied angst?? Mention of his parents' death (very briefly), so much fluff omg, starring Alfred, Selina, and Lucius, Bruce is obsessed with you <3

Word count: 3.6k

Please don't copy my work! I put a lot of effort and heart into the things I write.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

"A Gingerbread house contest?"

Bruce gave you a skeptical look as you explained your idea for the annual Wayne Yule Ball. You were sitting at the meeting table in the office of Wayne Enterprises, brain storming ideas to make this years Gala a little more interesting. The events were always quite boring, the only thing keeping your spirits up was the bar most of the time.

You'd occasionally hang around on the side lines with Alfred, people-watching Gothams wealth. This year had to be different. You were sick and tired of the fad and dragging evenings.

This was the Yule Ball, after all. The Manor would be decked in lights and ornaments, the lovely tunes of Christmas would echo through the halls and you'd actually have some fun for once.

Bruce would try to make them more bearable for you, inviting you to dance as much as he could, even if it earned him detesting looks. He wasn't a huge fan either, but it was his duty. He'd rather be curled up with you, feeling your warmth against his skin while doing your favorite festive activities.

Selina was seated next to you, twirling a pen between her fingers, looking like she was about to collapse from boredom. Alfred sat next to Bruce with a notepad, writing down any ideas that had come forth. Lucius was there too, of course, hoping to aid in any technical things.

"Yeah, why not? We need to do something interesting this year, and a making Gingerbread houses is a pretty classic activity, no?" You responded, shrugging slightly.

"I'll definitely come to the Ball if you pull through with that." Selina smirked. Bruce sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, honey? I mean, most of the people that attend aren't really ones to get their hands dirty."

"If I may, Master Bruce, I think it's a great idea." Alfred interrupted politely, making you smile. "I think it's important for the rich of Gotham to not lose touch with the average life. And, it'd be quite sweet, wouldn't it?"

Alfred grinned, proud of the pun he just made. You let put a small giggle while Selina and Lucius were smiling slightly. Bruce, on the other hand, sighed as his brows pulled together.

"Alright, so if we do this, who's going to be the judge?" He asked, finally caving in to your request.

"I knew you'd come around," you smiled, watching as a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth, "I think it's pretty obvious. Alfred should judge the houses."

"Me? Miss, I'm flattered but I don't think I have the expertise to-"

"Nonesense, Alfie," Selina cut him off, "We've all seen what you can do in the kitchen. If anyone's going to judge anything, it should be you."

"I agree. He does make a mean Victoria Sponge." Luscius agreed, his reasoning strong enough to make Alfred ponder for a moment.

"It doesn't just have to be houses. We can just give them creative freedom, let them go at it." You suggested, earning nods of approval.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this," Selina mumbled, inhaling a sharp breath,"What if we make it a family event? Let them bring their kids. They'd probably be more open to the whole idea that way."

"Good thinking, Miss Kyle."

Bruce chewed on his lips as he thought. This would be very different than most years. His parents had started the tradition of a yearly Yule Ball, and he was afraid to make changes. But then he thought back to how his parents always tried to keep a somewhat humble life to be able to help the people in need more efficiently. Also, he could never say no to you.

"Okay. Why not. Even if they don't enjoy it, at least we'll have a good time." He smiled softly, looking at you. You almost beamed with excitment.

"We need a price too, right? What's the point of a contest without a price." Selina intervened. A silence fell over the room as everyone was thinking of what the price coule be.

"I say we give the winner an hour with Bruce's credit card and see how much damage they can do." You snorted, meaning it as a joke but when you weren't met with disagreement a surpirsed expression took over your face.

"Fine by me." Bruce shrugged. You forgot that he was a billionaire sometimes.

"Well, I wasn't expecting that but that just upped my determination by 100%." Selina grinned, making Bruce roll his eyes.

Bruce started talking to Lucius about the organizational aspects while you discreetly high fived Selina under the table. You'd talked about this idea before, your friend mostly finding it funny that the most esteemed people of Gotham would have to struggle with sprinkles and sticky icing.

She was quite impressed you pulled through, although that Bruce agreed wasn't a surprise to her. He'd do about anything you asked, which she sometimes used to her advantage.

"You truly have him wrapped around your finger, huh?" Selina mused, sending a sly smirk your way. You leaned back in your chair, inspecting the shimmering wedding band on your hand.

"Well, he wouldn't have put a ring on it if I hadn't." You grinned, making Selina shake her head with a chuckle.

"When do I need to be there to see Gotham get down and dirty?"

"December 25th, 8:00 pm, Wayne Manor."

"See ya then." The brunette gave you one last grin before taking her leave, claiming she had some 'business' to attend to. The so called 'business' would surely end up on the front page of the Gotham Gazette tomorrow morning. She was a great friend despite her passion for her illegal hobby. You couldn't really blame her, though. She'd grown up with nothing, and had to fight to survive.

You were the last one to complain if one of Gothams renowned business men mysteriously lost a couple of million dollars, which then appeared donated to a charity the next day. She'd never steal from you, or Bruce.

That's not to say she hadn't tried, but Selina did find that Martha's necklace suited you just a tad better than her. She had quite the soft spot for you, you weren't like the rest of the wealthy people she knew. You were honest, understanding and kind. Selina put a great amount of trust in you and she knew you'd never break it. If that meant having to put up with Bruce once in a while, so be it.

Alfred slipped into the seat next to you, Bruce and Luscius still discussing the guest list, when to send the invites, and to order all the necessary things for the contest.

"Truly a marvelous idea, Mrs. Wayne. He never dared to make any changes before you came along, you know?"

You turned you head towards him, a slight blush on your cheeks. Did you really have that much of an impact on him? To think that you were the one that made the Bruce Wayne soften and be more open to change made your heart swell with pride.

"Really? I thought he just never cared that much. For the Ball, I mean." You said, intrigued of what you were about to learn from Alfred about your beloved Husband.

"No, no, not at all. It was his favorite thing as a boy. What I'd do to see him happy like that again." The older man sighed, a melancholic tint in his eyes.

You smiled at the thought of Bruce being excited for Christmas. Just being a boy. You reckoned all of that changed after his parents' death. The warm and loving holiday was now left in gray dullness and the emptiness that he felt in his heart when he'd sit under the tree, all alone, yearning for a hug from his father and the gentle touch of his mothers lips on his cheek.

You were determined to fill that void, shower him in all your love until the gaping hole in his chest was fixed. Who knew if it was possible, but you were willing to give it your all.

"You will, I promise." You replied softly, gently placing your hand on his arm. Alfred gave you an appreciative smile, the sadness in his eyes wavering slightly. He softly padded your hand, resting it on it for a moment.

"You make him so happy already, though. I suppose I can't complain too much, can I?" He joked, making you laugh softly.

"I'm just loving him, that's all."

"That's all he needed." Alfred smiled softly.

Bruce glanced over to you, his heart pouding with pure love as he saw you laughing with Alfred. His two favorite people were getting along so well, it made unbridled joy bloom in his chest. You had changed his life, only for the better, you made him feel like a person again.

For years he'd been aimlessly wandering, hoping to find himself. He was lost in the dark, going through life pretending to be someone he wasn't. Or was he? He didn't know. But you were his guiding light, your gentle flicker lighting up his path. Your soft warmth getting him through many a cold night when the thoughts of self doubt and fear were gnawing at him.

All he needed was you pressed against his chest, your soft breathing like a sweet lullaby to him as you slept peacefully in his arms.

"Mister Wayne? Mister Wayne-" Lucius voice broke him out of his daydream, his back straightend and he cleared his throat, hoping no one caught him. You were still chatting on with Alfred, so you hadn't noticed, good. But when he looked over to Lucius, there was a knowing smirk on the man's face.

"Yes, Mr. Fox? Do you have the guest list ready?" Bruce questioned, fiddling with his fingers. He looked at Lucius expectantly, trying to hide his slight embarrassment.

"I don't blame you for staring. She fills the role of Mrs. Wayne perfectly." He answered, a gentle smile on his face. Bruce's shoulders immediately dropped, the tension fading away. He let out a small huff through his nose with a tight lipped smile.

"She does, doesn't she? It's like she was made for this. Made for me." He said quietly, the adoring look in his eyes as he admired you not being missed by the Inventor. Lucius placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

"Why don't you spend the day together? I'll take care of everything." He said reassuringly.

Bruce's eyes widened slightly and he turned to face Lucius.

"Lucius-"

"No, I won't hear it. Go on, spend the day with her." He gave him chuckle before patting his back and gathering his things.

"We're done here, Mrs. Wayne. You can have your husband back." Lucius laughed, packing up the last of his documents. You giggled, which immediately set Bruce's heart aflame.

"How gracious of you, Mr. Fox." You teased, getting out of your chair, Alfred by your side.

"Let's go, my love. We have Christmas movies to watch and a dog to cuddle." You chirped, dragging him out of his chair.

All he could do was smile as he let himself be taken by you and wonder how he got this damn lucky.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You were now curled up on the couch, Bruce by your side, his arm draped around you. Your dog, Rudy, was snoozing on your lap as you scratched his head. The extra weight and warmth of your pup made it hard to keep your eyes open.

You were resting comfortably against Bruce, who traced gentle patterns on your arm as he was tentatively watching the TV. A smile tugged at your lips at Bruce's soft breaths, his strong chest falling and rising, lulling you to sleep. Your smile was cut off by a yawn. You lifted your hand from Rudy's head to cover your mouth, but he let out a whine, immediately nudging at your hand.

You chuckled groggily, trying to keep the sleep at bay so you could enjoy your moment with Bruce.

"'M sorry, buddy." You cooed, going back to petting your fur baby.

"You're tired, honey, I'll take over. Go to sleep." Bruce said softly in your ear, gently moving your hand and replacing it with his, making Rudy's tail wag slightly.

"S'your fault for being so warm and comfy and- you." You mumbled, letting your head fall against his shoulder.

"I mean, I can stop." He teased, taking his arm away from around you. You caught his wrist in a surprisingly tight grip.

"Do it and see what happens." You slurred, eyes still closed. Even in your sleepy state, you were still your feisty little self.

"Alright, I'd like to keep my arm, please." He laughed, wrapping his arm around you again, just a little tighter this time. You nuzzled closer to his side, making Rudy begrudgingly adjust his position as well.

"Are you excited for the Yule Ball?" You asked quietly, looking up at your husband as best as you could with sleep tugging at your limbs.

"I am. For the first time in a while, actually. Thanks to you." He replied with a soft smile, placing a chaste kiss on the tip of your nose. A lopsided smile crept onto your face, and you stretched your neck a bit to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

"I love you." You mumbled before finally dozing off with a smile on your face.

"I love you too, honey." Bruce whispered gently, his lips pressed to the top of your head as he sunk into the couch.

He couldn't wait for the Ball. Something he loved so dearly that was tainted for him for many years was now coming back to him brighter than ever. All thanks to you, the lovely woman he chose to marry.

He'd marry you anew every single day if he could.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The day had finally come, and you were a nervous wreck. You really didn't want to mess this up. You had big shoes to fill; Martha Wayne was loved by Gotham, and now that you held the title of Mrs. Wayne, you didn't want to disappoint anyone.

Not the people of Gotham, not Martha, but most importantly, not him. You'd been running around like a headless chicken the entire day, double checking everything so nothing could go wrong.

The decorations were being set up, and you might've snapped at a poor worker for hanging one of the garlands a little too much to the right. You were stressed out of your mind, regretting ever suggesting this. Right now, you were checking if all the sheets of Gingerbread had arrived and if all the decorations were set up.

The gentle touch of Bruce's hand on your shoulder snapped you out of the frenzy in your head. He guided you to a quiet corner with a hand on the small of your back.

"Bruce, I have to get back to-"

He interrupted you with a firm kiss, cupping your cheeks.

"No. You're completely stressing yourself out, and we can't have that. I'll take care of everything. And now you need to take care of yourself. Take a bath, get ready, do whatever you need to do. Please, calm down. Everything will be perfect, I promise." He said it so softly you could feel all the anxiety and stress fall away.

You let out a deep breath as you leaned into his touch.

"Okay. Thank you." You sighed with a small smile.

"Good. You know very well that tiring you out is my job." He said lowly with a glint in his eyes. You huffed and playfully hit his arm.

"Go check on the sprinkles."

"Yes, Ma'am."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

You did as he said, you took a bath to ease the tension in your muscles that had been building up throughout the day.

Now, you were sitting at your vanity, adding some final touches to your make-up. The guest would arrive soon, and you were glad the excitement took over the anxiety.

Bruce walked into your shared bedroom, fixing his cuffs.

"Are you almost ready?" He asked, not looking at you, still fiddling with his suit. You responded with a small 'Mhm!' and walked over to him, brushing some wrinkles out of your gown. When he did look at you, he visibly stopped in his tracks.

You were wearing a green velvet gown with lace accents, and he was completely enarmoured. When his gaze trailed upwards, he caught sight of his mothers necklace sitting around your neck. If you weren't already married, he'd would've proposed right now.

"You look stunning." He breathed out, hie pupils dilated. You chuckled softly, brushing your hand over the lapel of his jacket.

"Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself." You teased, earning a small smirk from him. His hands settled in your waist. Bruce hastily pulled you in for a passionate kiss.

The air was knocked from your lungs as his lips moved so perfectly against yours. You melted into his touch but caught yourself before you'd do something that'd make you two very late.

"Alright," you breathed heavily, steadying your hands on his chest, "that's enough, Lover boy. We have a Ball to host."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

All the guests had arrived and Bruce stepped into the center of the room, beginning his welcoming speech.

"Welcome, Everyone, I'm very glad you could join us here today for the annual Wayne Yule Ball. This is a tradition that my parents started that I wish to keep on as long as I can."

"This year will be a little different. Courtesy of my lovely wife, Mrs. Wayne," he looked in your direction and reached out his hand for you to take with a gentle smile, which you did without hesitation,"there will be a gingerbread house contest. I see you've brought your little ones and I hope that this will be a pleasant and memorable evening for us all." He ended his speech with a soft smile.

"Feel free to take as much times as you desire. Everything you need is provided, so all you need now is your imagination and creativity." You spoke up.

"Your delicious creations will be judged and the winner gets a nice reward. I hope you have a lovely time and a Merry Christmas!"

There was a small round of applause before old and young scrambled towards the tables decked with gingerbread, sprinkles and icing, to begin their gingerbread builds. You participated too, you'd teamed up with Selina, who had been nursing a flute of champagne until now.

Bruce and Lucius decided to indulge as well, already planning out their engineered masterpiece.

"Let's show 'em our claws." Selina smiled slyly. The lights made her dark blue dress embroidered with sparkling stars stand out. She looked very good this evening.

And Bruce might've paid for that dress... unknowingly.

"You got it, kitty." You replied with a smirk.

You were going the classic route. It would be a house, but more of a whimsical cottage type. Vines if icing were woven around the gingerbread walls, blooming into blankets of Ivy. The roof would be decked in sweet snow and delicate sugar flowers.

Selina couldn't help but add a tiny cat hidden at the back of the house. The atmosphere was delightful, laughter and chatter whisked through the room accompanied by the tunes of Christmas songs.

The decorations that adorned the walls and ceilings of the Manor dipped the room in a warm glow. You decided to glance over at Bruce and Lucius, to see what they'd come up with. When your gaze met their creation the piping bag of icing slipped from your hands and your jaw slacked.

"They built the goddamn batmobile." You said in disbelief, making your partner perk up.

She scoffed and went back to, now aggressively, pushing small sugar decorations into the icing.

"Show offs." Selina grumbled.

Bruce noticed your staring and shot you a toothy grin.

"A sweet ride, don't you think?"

You groaned at his terrible joke and shook your head.

"Unbelievable." You muttered, going back to perfecting your little house.

The chattered had died down as the judging began. Everyone watched in anticipation as Alfred made his way through room, inspecting each Gingerbread sculpture carefully. He made some small comments here and there, mainly on the ones the children had made.

In the end, a little girl and her sister won- they'd built, or at least tried to, a castle. Alfred thought it was very charming, and it reminded him of home, so naturally, he picked them as winners. They were overjoyed, jumping around excitedly, gushing it about it to their parents.

The girls earned a round of applause, and an arm slipped around your waist.

"A shame we didn't win." Bruce sighed playfully.

"I can't believe you built the batmobile. I expected a lot, but not that." You laughed, the lights reflecting off of you perfectly. Or at least that's what Bruce thought.

"But it was fun, don't you think? Thank you, again, for agreeing." You said softly. Bruce smiled at you, and gentle squeezed at your side.

"Anything for you. I can't wait to see what you come up with next year." He kissed your cheek, pulling you closer as you watched the joy and holiday cheer fill the room.

He truly couldn't wait for next year, to deck the halls with you by his side.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫

It didn't turn out as Christmas-y as I wanted it to, but I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless! <3

[theroundbartable]

Arthur has the worst kind of luck.

First, he wakes up to drowning in a giant lake, then there is dozens of people who's language he doesn't speak and then weird people in blue fabrics bring him before something they call "court".

Arthur has returned right in time to be the prime suspect of a murder investigation. Merlin is his lawyer.

Judge: we couldn't make out what language he's speaking

Merlin: *sighs* it's fine. It's old English. I'm a bit rusty but it should be fine

Judge: you speak old English

Merlin: everyone has Hobbies. Anyways, it can't have been him

Judge: why not?

Merlin: because you just pulled him out of the lake!

Judge: excuse me, Sir, but that doesn't explain -

Merlin: my client, your honor, is the legendary King Arthur and I've been waiting 1500 years for his return. I swear, had he been back before 9pm, an hour after the murder occurred, I would have known!

Judge: that's what you're going with?

Merlin: my magic tingled at precisely 9:02! Yes, that's what I'm going with

Aka, the ace attorney crossover no one asked for

[levshany]

how do I put this. Even those who actually track our blogs and are interested in our Aus can get a little confused about what's going on here. but I'll try to explain anyway

we already mentioned the crossover between Anarchists and Tandem and even DRAWED them once, back when Tandem was in development (and by the way, this crossover is canonical for both AUs). Now this story has been continued >:D

Here's some context: It so happened that the Colibri wanted to see what alternative timelines looked like and ran into the king and the jester. Phil was delighted with Colibri and wanted to flirt with them. Jester Collie was categorically against it. so he immediately possessed Phill and tried to fight Tandem. he didn’t succeed because his fusion with Phil is extremely unstable. and here we are

Initially, @angstyhikka and I just drew these three pages, but then @lasymit supported the idea and made a drabble which she allowed me to add to the post :3

------------------------------------

"Let go, bitch! I'm not done with you yet!"

The savage creature desperately squirmed in Philip’s hands. It grabbed onto him, trying to either break free or, on the contrary, rush closer, glaring furiously and baring its shark teeth.

He held the clumsy, collapsing fusion at arm's length and looked at it with slight disgust. His tandem with the Collector was a strange but harmonious union. And what was writhing in front of them right now was the direct antipode of the word harmony.

“Well, I am,” he said distantly.

And with his other hand he grabbed the one sitting inside the demon’s body. Under the flesh soaked in titan blood, he felt a soft essence, like rubber or hot wax. The Collector from this universe felt completely different to the touch.

He stretched them, pulling them away from each other, disentangling them from each other. Paradoxically, bodies that should repel each other by the nature of their forces, like unipolar magnets, clung to each other very stubbornly. But Philip was still stronger with the power of the Collector in his hands, power which he clearly used better than the local... king of demons...

“Ouuuuch ouuuuch,” a boy in the robes of a jester, painted in red and black, shrank on the ground, wrapping his arms around his own chest.

He was not at all like his Collector. Philip had never seen his friend's material body before. But he knew he looked different. For some reason he knew this for sure.

"Who pulls a guy out like that!? Fuck!!", the now-green demon yelled nearby. And he clutched his head painfully.

What Idiots. They vomited three times while chasing him. Philip did them a favor by stopping this outrage.

Now these two were lying helplessly at his feet, groaning and gasping, trying to catch their breath and come to their senses. Now they are separated.

"What were you trying to achieve?" His question was almost rhetorical.

"It wasn’t me, it was all him!" like a child, pointing a sharp, protruding finger towards the Collector, the demon yelled. "I didn’t want to fight at all!"—here he gazed up at Philip with some strange look and batted his eyelashes expressively—"I wanted something else– something more interesting."

"Ohh fuck off, Maggie! You traitor!" came the shout from the red Collector. Philip silently decided to call him the Jester and the demon, by analogy, the King. Philip had already guessed his name. But he couldn’t bring himself to call this savage by that name. Not even in his mind. 

He ignored the King's vague attempts to take a tempting pose while still lying on the ground and grinding his teeth from the headache. He turned to the Jester.

"So you're in charge?"

Judging by King's behavior, it would indeed be reckless to put him in charge. But, having always been the decision-maker when paired with the Collector, by right of being the adult, Philip is accustomed to his friend almost never taking the leading role unless circumstances require it. Like a couple of years ago...

“Nuh-uh,” the Jester raised himself up on his elbow and rubbed his chest, inhaling deeply, greedily. "We're bros! Equal rights and stuff."

And he twirled his funny yellow gloved hand in the air.

Something in the Jester’s words pricked Philip. He didn't fully understand what exactly.. Until the King said, in a dramatic whisper:

"I no longer have a brother. You’re dead to me!"

And Philip stood there, trying to remember that the air was not hard, dense lumps, that it did not clog in the throat and did not press in the chest with a dull phantom pain. Meanwhile these two idiots, after a couple moments of aggressive looks, laughed out loud.

“Yes, I would strangle such a brother,” the King squeezed out, wheezing and squinting through laughter, “with my own-"

And he bent over, swallowing the end of the sentence with a cough as the toe of a boot hit him in the stomach.

"Philip! Philip... They've had enough... He doesn't know what he's talking about."

Philip's cheek twitched.

"Ouch... bro, save me!" the King squeaked hoarsely.

And this completely infuriated Philip. He swung his foot again, this time at the face. But he was met by an elastic wall. And the ground under Colibri’s feet, along with all the space, suddenly curved.

If it weren't for years with the Collector in his head, he wouldn't have realized what happened. But now he clearly saw how a couple of dimensions were distorted, folding space into a loop. He suddenly found himself not between the King and the Jester, but at a considerable distance. And these two were already close together. The boy helped his “brother” get up from the ground; King was now leaning on Jester’s shoulders, clutching his stomach. Perhaps Philip miscalculated his strength a little. This happens sometimes... Especially when it comes to emotions.

“Hey! Hitting people who are down is against the rules,” the Jester frowned. "Give us a timeout!"

Philip felt his jaw tighten. How the nodules rolled across his face. But the flaring rage, as it often happened to him, went away as easily as it filled the air in his chest, leaving reddish streaks before his eyes and pulsating power in his fingertips.

“Get out of the way,” he let his hands glow slightly.

"Ohhhh, what about a last kiss, star boy?" the King whined, clinging to the Jester and trying to straighten up next to him, as if hoping to reach Philip from a distance of ten steps and still get the coveted—

A kiss? Seriously, what the hell? Philip directed a confused, irritated look that bore all these unspoken questions at the Jester. He awkwardly shrugged his sharp shoulders, caught in the King’s grip.

"Don’t be mad... Philip, right? Don't be mad at him, Philip. His Majesty has a reason to be an idiot. And he didn’t mean it out of malice about the ‘brother’ thing.”

Philip looked at the Jester more carefully. The collector in his head was silent. But Philip sensed something from him. Philip also noticed the King’s uncomprehending expression.

“What’s wrong with ‘brother’?” The King sounded surprised.

And then Philip understood. And his face froze.

Yes... yes, what need is there to remember such things? He himself tried to forget for a long time... If he succeeded, would he be the same now as the king in front of him?

Looking at this wretched shell of a “King” who’d forgotten everything important about himself and the loyal “Jester” still standing steadily at his side, the Collector in Philip’s head began to sob. They both, it seems, had the same thought. It’s scary to look at the reflection of a future that never happened.

The jester smiled at him guiltily- at both of them. And then he confidently and widely showed about fifty teeth to his King.

"People don’t like such familiarity, you fool! You can’t just kiss someone the first time you meet."

"But it's okay to fight them when you first meet?" Philip was indignant...

Yes, it's Philip. He cannot refuse to call this man by his own name. Philip himself could one day become such a “king.”

------------------------------------

also @kenku97 helped us with translation and added this comment, I gotta show it to you ;v;

"I thought “The collector in his head sobbed” needed more context for people who aren’t as tightly wrapped up in these AUs as we all are. To understand why Collie’s crying, you need to point out how Tandem Collie sees himself in the Jester. They’re both caring for a Philip who is forgetting himself and the people closest to him. Jester is living out Tandem Collie’s worst fear: what will happen when Philip can’t remember anything anymore? What will become of their friendship? And it’s bittersweet because the King and the Jester are still friends, even though the Jester basically had to start over from the beginning. Jester Collie is quietly carrying all of those memories inside his heart of a friend who has basically disappeared while still learning about and loving the brand new person his friend has become. It’s so sweet and so sad.😭"

that's pretty much all for now It’s hard to return to drawing after the holidays. and this is not even a new art you see, but last year’s. therefore this comic cannot be considered the first work of this year sadly

[pedrostylez]

How The Crow Flies: pt. 1

Javier Peña x fem!reader x Frankie Morales crossover

Word count: 5.7k

Chapter Summary: Introduction into the HTCF world, Peña is a menace

Chapter Warnings and Disclaimers: 18+ only. I am not responsible for what you read on the internet. You have been warned! Locations and descriptions of places may be inaccurate in comparison to each story (Narcos and Triple Frontier). Timelines are obviously different between the two stories, so we are going to meet in the middle and say we are in the early 2000s. These are not necessarily canon characters in regard to how they act, how they treat people, and their current relationships. mean!Javier, violence, dubcon, SMUT!!!!!, anger, fighting, PTSD, mentions of rape, derogatory use of slut, whore, and the like

Please support by commenting, sending me respectful thoughts, and reblogging. I appreciate every single one of you!

Taglist: @thevoiceinyourheadx @suzdin @survivingandenduring @bariskaplans @inept-the-magnificent @casa-boiardi (please let me know if I missed anyone that was interested or if you would like to be added)

You used to be new to Colombia. 

You had never really thought you would be invited to the Embassy as a guest DEA agent, struggling to pull your bag through the airport with your purse in your other hand, but you’d made it-and the heat was different from Miami heat. 

But you had worked hard in Florida, stopping drugs from passing through the border, starting your career in the mail office, and working your way up. 

You stood on the docks of Miami undercover so many times that you were considered the local siren, stopping drug mules in their tracks just to talk to you, only to find out that you were there to bust them. 

Your coworkers, male and female alike were proud of you, happy for you. You had been blessed with people who surrounded you and were supportive. 

When you got to Colombia it was like you were back at square one. 

Your boss, the well-known Javier Peña, had a stick up his ass. 

“Would you give these to Noonan?” Peña had swept by, plopping papers on your desk before trying to run further away. 

You stopped him, holding out your hand and wrapping your fingers around his suit sleeve. “Sorry, sir. But what are they?”

“You don’t need to know that.” He scoffed, pulling his arm from your grasp. “You’re sitting in one of my agent’s chairs, and I need you to bring that to Noonan as soon as you’re done setting up her computer.”

You scoffed back, standing up and placing a hand on your hip. His eyes followed your hand, eyebrows raised in interest until you said your name. “I am the agent that sits at this desk, Peña.”

“My apologies.” He said quietly with no hint of actual remorse. “Still, please bring that to Noonan. Our new employee meeting starts in five minutes.”

You immediately regretted wearing the pencil skirt, thinking it would be a good first impression as if that was the reason that Javier Peña had mistaken you. From then on you wore cargo pants and a fitted t-shirt, like the rest of the team, arguing with your boss at every corner. 

“I told you to stay here. And what did you do? You fucking went out there anyways.” Peña had this thing about slamming the door to make a point, even though everyone could clearly see into his office where you were standing, arms crossed, eyes rolling toward the ceiling. 

“Jason said he needed help. I helped him.” Standing your ground came naturally, and Peña clearly hated it. He wanted you to bend over backward for him, just like Jason, and just like David.

“You don’t need to help him by getting yourself killed.” Peña gritted out, turning to you before sitting at his desk.

A quick mumble came out of your mouth, “Would rather do that than push your pencils around like some secretary.”

“Are you going to hold that against me for the rest of the time you’re here? Because if that’s the case then maybe you should go back to Miami.” He was back standing, pointing at you and what he assumed was the general direction of Florida. Sweat beaded at his hairline, eyes dark with annoyance. 

“I’m not holding anything against you, boss.” You snark, twisting around to the door to look out into the bullpen, where everyone is pretending to not watch. “Are we all done here?” 

Peña was quick to brush you off after staring, motioning at the door resting his hands on his hips, and pacing behind his desk. 

But then after a successful mission, Peña brought you and the others out for drinks. A Friday celebration for “catching the bad guys” as Jason had always said, downing the free beer that his boss provided. 

You were all for taking advantage of Peña’s money if he was going to pay for drinks. Quick to order tequila sodas, letting them slide down your throat like water and sway back and forth as you spoke with office staff and the other agents. 

You avoided Peña like the plague. Any time you turned your head you saw his back towards you, speaking to any girl he could find that wasn’t part of the team he was paying for. 

One too many tequila sodas had you stumbling to the bathroom, struggling with the button of your pants, and taking much longer than you had the last time you went. You were thinking that it is about time to take yourself home, walk down the sidewalk for some fresh air, and then hail a cab, but when you finally manage to get out of the bathroom of this bar, your coworkers are filing out. 

“Where are y’all going?” You slur to Jason who is holding the door open for one of the archive girls. It’s like he doesn’t even hear you, stepping through the door wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and whispering in her ear. 

You mumble out a few curse words, turning toward the bar counter where that same head that you had been staring at all night is now facing you. His eyes are watchful, glass to his pouted lips as he takes a sip of what looks to be whiskey. “You want water?”

“Another tequila would be nice.” You perk up, slouching into the seat next to him with hooded eyes. In the back of your mind, you’re aware that you will be having a hangover tomorrow but don’t care enough to stop it. 

Peña motions at the bartender, nodding at you to indicate that you would like another drink. He takes a beat before saying, “So, you still mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you.” You hiccup, furrowing your brow as the bartender sets a glass in front of you. You take a sip, noticing that there is no fizz, and know immediately that you’ve been cut off. “Damn, he gave me a water.”

He chuckles, draining his glass and turning fully towards you. His eyes scan behind you and the surrounding area before settling on your face. “I shouldn’t have assumed you were Noonan’s secretary.” 

“No, you shouldn’t have.” You sigh, taking another sip of the water. You’re suddenly extremely thirsty. 

Peña waits for you to say more, but shakes his head when you begin tapping your fingers against the counter. “I’m trying to apologize.” He huffs out, resting his head on one hand, propped against the bar. 

“You are?” You laugh, pushing the glass of water away. “I didn’t hear one.”

“I wasn’t thinking, that day I walked in and asked you to go to Noonan.” He sighs, explaining himself. Still not an apology. “I’ve been under a lot of pressure to get this right this time, and I was told I was having a female agent added to my team that had done great things in Miami but didn’t know anything beyond your name.”

You shrug, sliding off your seat. “Okay, boss. No big deal. It was months ago.” You give in, thinking it’s about time to walk home. 

When you stumble away from Peña, he reaches for your arm to hold you up, hissing out between his teeth. “You need a ride home.”

“No, I’m fine.” His hand is warm at your elbow, seeping through his skin to yours so quickly that you break out in a shiver. You attempt to yank your arm away, but his grip is firm and guiding. 

If he notices you trying to pull away from him or the shiver, he doesn’t say anything. “Wasn’t asking.” 

You think you roll your eyes, but you’re not too sure based on how the room is moving around you. “Haven’t you drunk too?” Your hand twists out to grip his shoulder, too dizzy to be pulling away now. 

“Not as much as you.” He mumbles with a short chuckle, guiding you to the door after slipping the bartender some bills. You aren’t sure how much he’s paid, but you think it’s a lot based on how happy the guy looks. 

The typically humid air is crisp against your skin as you step out, and you can’t help but curl your fingers into the sleeve of his shirt. The noises around you feel muffled, and when you turn to Peña he’s already looking at you expectantly. “What?”

He huffs out his nose, trying to keep his composure. “Where do you live? In the same block as the other agents or somewhere else?”

You shake your head, confused by his question but tell him your address anyways. “I can make it home–”

“No.” He cuts you off, lightly pressing into the small of your back to lead you toward his Jeep. “You’ve had more to drink than others, and I need you to be ready by Monday.”

“Oh, I’m definitely calling in sick Monday.” You hiccup, grabbing onto the handle of his car as you hop into the passenger seat.

Peña walks around to the driver's side, sliding in and watching you as you buckle in clumsily. “Don’t get sick in my car.”

“No promises.” You mumble, laying your head back against the headrest and shutting your eyes as he pulls away from the curb. The drive feels familiar, turning at the right moments, and the hum of his car seems to have you slipping into sleep. 

You didn’t realize you had fallen asleep until Peña’s warm hand was on your elbow again, shaking it gently. “Hey, you awake?”

You startle, sitting up straight and looking out the windshield before flashing your eyes over to him, glancing down at his fingers drifting over your elbow in soothing circles. You clear your throat, reaching for his door handle. “Yeah, sorry.”

“S’alright.” He reaches for his own door, gets out, and walks around the front of the car to where you are stumbling toward your door. “Where’s your key?” You mumble incoherently, reaching into your pocket and dangling the key in front of him for a moment before he snatches it out of your hand and into the lock. “Let me make sure you don’t get sick all over yourself.”

“I’m not even that drunk.” You scoff, brushing past him to the bathroom. You are mostly just dizzy, a nasty side effect of tequila that you’ve never been able to curb. “Since you invited yourself in, there’s soda in the fridge.” You clip from your mirror, reaching for a washing rag and turning on the water. 

“What, no beer?” He calls, chuckling quietly before you hear the sound of the fridge opening, his footsteps going quiet when he gets back to your living room and sits on the couch. 

When you’ve finished scrubbing your face, you step back into the living room and see Peña with his soda half tilted up, glancing at you and down to your coffee table where a glass of water is waiting. “Thanks, boss.” You mumble, sitting on the other side of the couch and taking a sip. 

He nods, eyeing you quietly before setting the half-empty bottle in front of him. “Javi is fine.” 

You quirk your eyebrow at him, humming to yourself before taking another sip. “Are we getting personal now?”

Peña squints at you, pursing his lips to hide a smile that seems to be growing on his lips. “Only if you tell me something personal.” 

You scoff, setting down your glass and leaning back. The air conditioner in your apartment is only in the bedroom, leaking out into the rest of the living space slowly and heavily along the ground. Your toes are cold, realizing suddenly that you have taken off your shoes and it seems like Peña did as well, his toes wiggling under his socks. “Something personal? What do you want to know?”

He shrugs. “Anything. I don’t know much about you at all besides that you worked your way up in a field that isn’t kind to women, and moved here from Miami on recommendation from Noonan to help catch the Cali cartel.” 

You tilt your head over to him to watch him, his arm flexing as he reaches for his soda again. You feel this sudden urge to lean forward and touch his arm– “I hate the heat.” You blurt, stopping yourself from reaching for him as he looks at you inquisitively. “I-I grew up in Utica, New York. Love the snow.”

He smiles, nodding his head. “Why did you go to Miami, if you hate the heat?”

You shrug. “Wanted to be different.” You laugh to yourself, leaning forward again for your glass. “Couldn’t stand staying in the same town, or just moving to the next city over like all my friends did.”

As you’re talking your hand knocks the glass off the coffee table, water spilling over your feet and onto the carpet. You jump, leaning toward Peña to lift your feet off the floor before they get wet, but you aren’t quick enough. “S’alright. Let me get a towel.” He says quietly, grabbing the glass from the floor and his soda before heading to the kitchen. 

When he returns with a kitchen towel that you think was hanging on the oven’s handle, you don’t expect him to sit so close and wrap his hand around your calf and lift it onto his lap. He wipes at your feet gently, hand still holding you steady as he glances up at you. “Texas.” He clears his throat, looking unsure before he continues. “I grew up in Texas. The heat was different than here, but…I’ve never seen snow.”

You smirk, watching as he slows his movements and rubs his thumb along your calf. “You’d probably hate it like everyone does.”

You both stare at each other, not sure if you should pull your leg away, ask him to leave and thank him for the ride, or see where this goes. 

You start to pull away, realizing that this is your boss for fucks sake when he tightens his grip. “I’ve always wanted to see snow on Christmas. With the lights and real snowmen…” He pauses, leaning forward and flicking his gaze to your mouth. “I don’t think I would hate it.”

You gasp when his hand slides up your leg to behind your knee, pulling you closer and over his lap more. “Peña–”

“Javi.” He breathes, taking a deep breath that expands his chest and has the buttons straining under the pressure. “I-it’s Javi.”

Your head is swimming with the feeling of his hand on you, over and over, looking from his parted mouth to his eyes. His pupils dilate, his hand tightening around you in anticipation as you start to lean forward. 

Your eyelashes flutter, closing for a moment before opening them again and finding your nose brushing against his, his eyes cast down to watch you ponder the next best move. “Javi,” You whisper hoarsely, swearing you can taste the mix of whiskey and soda in his mouth from how he lets his bottom lip run against yours. “You’re my boss.”

He nods quickly, the bridge of his nose running against yours as he takes a deep breath. “I know.”

It’s only another split second before you make the decision, tilting your chin towards him and sealing your mouth to his. 

He groans, wrapping his hand around the back of your head and into your hair to hold you to him. He swirls his tongue with yours, eager and ready to have you against him and not moving away to take a breath. 

He pulls you closer, bracketing his own hips with your thighs, digging his fingers into your hips to hold you against him. When you begin rolling your center against his, your jeans in the way of each other, he holds you firm. “Don’t do that.” He swallows, shaking his head and looking up at you. “Unless you want me to fuck you right now.”

On wobbly legs you stand, pushing away from him enough that you can reach for the button of your pants, sliding the material down your thighs. You break out in a shiver, forgetting how heavy the air feels right now. 

Javi reaches out with one hand, running his fingers down the side of your thigh before leaning forward to wrap his hand fully around you. His other hand is expertly undoing his own jeans, eyes on you, and a smirk rising on his face. “Needy, aren’t you?”

Biting your lip has little effect on your ability to keep your noises at bay, a groan coming out of your mouth as his fingers grip into the plush skin on your ass. “You’re just as bad.”

“Oh really?” He laughs, pulling you to your previous position hovering over him. “Work for it then.” 

Your thoughts stutter, furrowing your brow as you shakily bring a hand down to the opening of his pants. Gently wrapping your fingers around him, jeans halfway down his thighs already and not a pair of boxers in sight, you swear your mouth begins to water. You glance back up to his face, his knowing wink giving you pause. “What do you want me to do?”

He tilts his head, a small smile rising before he licks his lower lip. “Don’t just stare at it, ride it.”

You gasp at how quickly he reaches forward and slides your panties to the side. His finger glides at your center, opening you up to feel how slick you’ve gotten for him. He groans, satisfied with what he finds as he holds the fabric with his thumb, his other hand roughly guiding you by the hip to sit lower. 

The head of his cock presses into you in one instant, and in the next, you’re fully seated on top of him. Thighs tight, a sheen of sweat covering your forehead, you whine at the feeling of him inside you. He shushes you, bringing one bruising hand up from your hip to your face, moving your hair out of your eyes. “I know, Hermosa. Too big for you, huh?” You nod, feeling faint as you shut your eyes for a moment. He taps roughly with two fingers on your cheek.  “Easy now, don’t lose focus.”

Your eyes snap open as he shifts his hips up, his hair at the base of his shaft rubbing against your clit. He begins thrusting, holding you steady by where his hand is placed on your cheek, digging into the hair at the nape of your neck. Your mouth opens, slack-jawed at the feeling of him thrusting up into you. 

“That’s it.” He growls, pulling your head back tighter. “Just like that.” He pistons up, leaning further back on your couch and pulling you away from him so he can better get a view of you. You’re taking it, turned on, and pretty sure you’re ruining his jeans in the process. 

He doesn’t last long, and neither do you. His words, forced through his teeth and puffing breaths spur you on to the finish line, his own orgasm leaving a mess on your underwear and stomach. He pulls out quickly, hurriedly rubbing at himself with your slick covering him before closing his eyes and moaning as ropes of his spend stick to you. 

Standing on shaking legs, you walk toward your bathroom, grabbing a towel and wiping yourself off before looking in the mirror briefly. You look like you’ve been fucked-hair a nest on your head, your underwear wet. When you step back out toward the living room, ready to offer him a towel or the shower, you stop dead in your tracks when you don’t see him immediately. 

Confused, you step into the kitchen, looking around briefly before stepping back into your living room. The soda is half gone on your coffee table, and the kitchen towel that he brought is tossed haphazardly on the couch. You look toward your front door and notice his boots are gone just as the lights from a car shine through your window. Peña had just fucked you and ditched. 

It hadn’t really been a surprise to you that Peña wanted to pretend like nothing had happened. Just a quick fuck, and nothing serious-you could handle that. Peña must have thought you would be beating down his door because he avoided you for two full weeks before reappearing in the office at the same time you were there. 

You had continued on; business as usual. 

It surprised Peña so much that when you had gone into his office to give him reports to review and then left soon after, he was at your apartment that night asking what your issue was. 

“It was a one-time thing.” Peña was circling your island, rubbing at his jaw and eyeing you every once in a while. 

“I figured.” You roll your eyes, leaning against the doorway. “Do you have something you need me to do, related to our job? Because if not, can you just leave?”

“Was I more hammered than I thought?” He questioned, looking at you incredulously. “I swear you came.”

“I did.” You confirm. 

“Then, how are you…are you not? I don’t-” he growled frustrated, running his hands through his hair. 

“I’m not obsessed with you. Is that what you’re asking?” You laugh, shaking your head. “We were drunk, we fucked. You’re my boss, I’m your employee. Let’s just move on. Now will you leave?” 

“I don’t want you to be obsessed with me.” He says quietly, face going red with embarrassment. 

“Great, I’m not.” You shrug, tapping your fingers against your pant leg. 

He stares at you, grinding his teeth before he steps toward where you appear relaxed. He’s silent as he reaches out, running the back of his finger against your exposed arm. You shiver, rolling your eyes at how he smiles. 

You tilt your head at him, asking with your eyes what are you doing? As he shrugs, he kneels in front of you, hands coming up to hover over your pants. “Let me feel you, hermosa.”

You and Peña continued like this, back and forth for weeks. He would eye you a certain way after berating you in his office as code to meet in the archives. 

You would say something snarky with Jason and David looking on, and he would show up at your apartment later that night. 

Or sometimes, you both would stay late, working until you couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore to then look up and see Peña still sitting at his desk in a similar state as you were. He would sigh heavily, call you into his office, and tell you to go home like everyone else had. 

You never did. 

This seemed to be the most stable thing in your life, even though you and Peña were not an item, and adamantly told each other so when he was deep inside you or when your throat was constricting around him. 

You thought everything was routine at this point-yeah, you fucked your boss, and you still argued with him, but the job wasn’t bad. You were making headway into things that Peña and your team worked on extensively to get to the bottom of the cartel. And when you were having another meeting with Peña, Jason, and David, you were shocked to find out that Peña had a new job for you. 

“I need you to go into the jungle.” He said, looking directly at you with a pinched mouth. 

You stared at him, trying to assess what that exactly meant as Jason and David stared between the two of you. “And do what, exactly?” You question, flicking your eyes over him. 

“I need intel on Gabriel Loreas. He is an upcoming drug dealer that is supposed to be the local cops' responsibility.” He says quickly, flipping through the file on his desk before leaning back and crossing his feet. 

“So why have her go out there?” Jason questions quietly, concern covering his face. 

Peña’s eyes flash in anger, raking over Jason. “Because I don’t trust the locals to not screw me over in the end. And…we have a mole.” David and Jason begin bickering, Peña cutting them off. “I need someone that can infiltrate his home without causing suspicion.”

“And why can’t that be one of us? No offense,” David turns apologetically to you. “But it’s extremely dangerous to be doing that alone.”

Peña rolls his neck, trying to hold his temper. “His security guards are looking for…working girls.”

It’s silent in the office as Jason and David look toward you, bug-eyed and scared. You take a deep breath, chuckling quietly. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Peña freezes, eyes widening briefly before leaning forward. “Now, listen–”

“You want me to whore myself out? For your little side mission? Like I’m some piece of meat?” Your voice is increasing in volume, Jason wincing at the sound of you wobbling through the last few words. He knew how you felt being used as bait while in Miami, and now it seemed to be happening all over again. 

“Everyone out.” Peña glared at Jason and David, waiting for them to file out of his office, and shut the door tightly behind them. 

When his eyes find you, he stays frozen while you remain stoic. He takes a deep breath, cursing under his breath briefly. “I need you to help me out, here.”

You attempt to not scoff. “Why the fuck should I be doing anything you say?”

“You don’t have to actually do anything.” He’s earnest, stepping closer to you while one hand rests on his hip. 

You can’t help the emotion lacing your voice. “You’re kidding.” Shaking your head, you open your arms wide. “How do you expect me to get anywhere without actually offering up anything?”

He growls in irritation, taking another step toward you. “I just need you to stakeout-talk to the men that come back into town, and get a feel for it. When things get heavier we will send Jason and David out.”

You stare at Peña for another minute, waiting to see if he flinches. If you can see the shift, the change of mind. When you don’t, you sigh. “I’m taking the rest of the day off.”

It’s like a blow to the chest as he steps back. “What?”

“You heard me.” You snarl, opening the door so Jason and David can hear your announcement as well. 

As you step out, not waiting to see if Peña has anything else to say, Jason follows you to the elevator. “I’ll talk to him, don’t–”

“It’s fine, Jason.” You sigh, shaking your head. “I just need to get in the right mindset. Don’t worry about it; I don’t want you telling Peña anything.”

He shuffles, holding the elevator open. “Are you sure? He’s such a hard ass to you, maybe if I tell him what you told me he would change up his plans…”

You give him a forced smile, grabbing his wrist and pulling it out of the way. “It’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As the elevator door slides closed with a small wave from Jason, you see Peña’s eyes watching, assessing the interaction. As the door shuts, you take a deep breath and exhale, trying to recenter yourself before stepping into the parking garage. 

You had an inkling of who it would be when you heard a knock on your door a few hours later. You sit on your couch, silent as you wait, and hope that Peña will just walk away. He will understand that you need space. 

You had already cried the minute you stepped over the threshold, feeling that pit in your stomach that you always got when you stepped out onto the docks in Miami. How hands and lips felt against your heated skin where you didn’t want them–

“Hermosa,” Peña calls through your door, jiggling the handle to test if it is locked. “I know you’re there. Let me in.”

You sigh again, waiting for another knock before slinking over to the door and quietly unlocking the deadbolt. He hears it, pushing open the door quickly after and coming face to face with you. 

He huffs, kicking the door shut and shrugging out of his suit jacket. “Were you not going to let me in?”

“No.” You say quietly, sitting on your couch and back down to the book you have bookmarked with a receipt from the corner store. 

He’s silent, standing above you while you refuse to make eye contact. He’s waiting for you to break, but you’re too tired to. When he finally caves, you try to control your lips from ticking up in the corners. “I really need this, hermosa.”

You pick at your fingernails, patiently waiting. 

He sighs again. “There’s a lot of money on the line. Like, millions, if what I’ve been told is correct. The local guys, they’re getting paid on the side by this guy and I need someone in there.”

He’s pacing now, back and forth in front of your coffee table. 

You break your silence, leaning back and crossing your arms. “What’s in it for me?”

Peña pauses, turning to you. He looks flustered, hands having run through his hair by how it sticks out away from the side of his head. “Cash. Cold, hard cash.” 

You chuckle, shaking your head. “So, I will really be a whore then, won’t I?”

He frowns, shaking his head. “No, I don’t want you doing that.” He stretches his neck, clicking his tongue in disgust. “You just, pretend. Don’t do anything crazy–”

You feel anger bubble up inside, over your tongue, and spitting out at him. “You don’t fucking get it, do you?” 

He freezes, shocked in front of you. 

“I don’t get to just say no. I have to be stronger to say no. I have to be strapped to say no. I have to be cute enough to say no. I can’t just not do something once I’ve pretended to offer those things, Javi. These aren’t college boys trying to not catch a rape charge.”

He waits, biting the inside of his mouth as he grows more frustrated. He must know you’re right, must understand what he’s asking you to do. “I won’t let them.” He says quietly, flicking his gaze up to yours. “You have my word, hermosa.”

“I can’t trust that.” You feel worn and tired of the argument. You’ve resigned to the fact that you will have to do this if you plan on keeping your job, and you do plan on it. “I’ll do what you ask of me. It’s my job.”

“I won’t let them touch you.” He growls, reaching forward and squeezing your arms so tightly you squeak. “You’re not going to get hurt in this. I won’t allow it.”

It’s pitiful, really, how you want to laugh in his face. He doesn’t understand, because he’s a man. No matter his reputation with working girls, he doesn’t know. You attempt to pull away from him, but his fingers dig harder into your skin. “Go home, Peña.”

He clicks his tongue at you, tilting his head as if to threaten you. “What happened to Javi, bonita?”

You go to protest, trying and failing again to pull away as he pushes you toward your couch. You clumsily sit back, frowning at him. “I’ll do the job. It’s fine–”

“Lay back.” He barks, kneeling in front of you, his fingers working quickly at the button of your pants. 

You shake your head, resting your hand over his in a silent question. 

He ignores you, pulling the waistline over your hips and down your thighs, underwear soon following as cool air wicks over your skin. You shiver, the contact of his warm fingers, calloused over and rough, over your skin has your legs relaxing wide. 

He lifts one leg easily over his shoulder, smirking when his eyes land on your center. Without further warning, his tongue swipes up your folds, spreading you wide with a groan. “I can’t stop wanting this.”

You throw your head back, unsure if what he said was meant for himself or for you. Words are stuck in your throat, fingers wrapped tightly in his hair, and pulling as his tongue swirls over your clit and down to your center. You want to tell him to keep going, to make you come, but you’re afraid that if you voice your want he will retreat from you. 

One hand squeezes into the skin of your thigh resting on his shoulder, his other working the buttons of his shirt open before coming to your entrance with a sigh. He lets his tongue rest there for a moment, pressing in with the tip and letting you contract around him.  

Javi pulls away, muttering under his breath as he slides one finger into you, a quick “Fuck, so wet for me.” before wrapping his lips around your clit again. 

You swear he would be laughing at you for how quickly you crumbled to his touch if he wasn’t busy with his mouth around you. “Please, I–”

Another smirk appears as he pulls away, curling his fingers inside you to search for that spot he has found again and again. “I won’t let you come,” He breathes, pressing a kiss to your shaking thigh. “Unless you agree to the job.”

You huff, breaths labored and your stomach tightens. “I already agreed.”

“Nuh-uh, mean it hermosa.” He nips your skin, chuckling as your hips jump in an attempt to get away, only pressing his fingers deeper. “Be my little slut, and I’ll share the cash with you.”

You close your eyes to try to focus, his fingers pressing, pressing, pressing against that spot inside of you that he has an obsession with, holding your breath. It’s overwhelming, the pressure in your core building and overheating. 

Sweat pools in the dip of your collarbone, the shirt you still have on soaking it up as you pull on his hair again. “Yes, yes–fuck. I’ll do it.” 

Javi hums, leaning forward again to press his lips to your center, his tongue and fingers working in tandem as a wave of ecstasy crashes over your skin. 

You’re floating, feeling him slow between your legs and breathe against your skin. He says something you can’t really hear, gently setting your leg down on the floor before adjusting himself. A pointed look is thrown your way, your furrowed brow indicating that you didn’t hear him. 

He shakes his head, wiping at his mustache for a moment. “Stakeout starts next week.”

[not-a-space-alien]

K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 13

Part thirteen of the fourth crossover with @whumpsday!

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

Warnings: Domestic violence/spousal abuse

This is the last chapter of this story! HOWEVER, like we mentioned at the start, this AU actually has two different timelines. So keep an eye out for Part B, which is coming next :)

***

The intervening months have been peaceful and uneventful, even with Kane there.

Until one day, Valen doesn’t come home.  Again.

Jim is going absolutely out of his mind with worry. The last time Valen went missing, it was the worst thing imaginable. The only thing worse would have been his death. He and Liz have been calling around to hunters, but no one's seen him. It wouldn't even make sense: Valan should have gone straight from Liz's district to vampire territory, and Valen is friendly with the local hunters, though Liz and Laken have been interrogating everyone anyway, as well as searching the area up to the border.

Jim can't sleep. The thought of Valen going through that again, or turning up dead, or never turning up ever again, has him hysterical. Kane tries his best to comfort him, but he's sick with worry too: he knows how cruel hunters can be.

And if it's not hunters... what else could have happened?

This drags on, with no word about his whereabouts, for weeks. Until one day, Jim gets a phone call, and when he answers, Valen's panicked, tearful voice is on the other end. "Jim!"

"Valen!" Jim screams. "Oh my god, you're alive! Where are you? I'll come get you, I'll bring you home, where are you?"

Kane is immediately at rapt attention, listening in.

Valen lets out a series of heartbroken sobs. "Jim, I'm at the Kithrara estate. My husband happened to find me when I came to vampire territory and forced me to come back. He's not letting me leave, he's not leaving me alone for even a second. This is the first time I've had even a minute alone to make a phone call and he's going to come back any second. Please, Jim, I don't know what to do, please help me."

Vampire territory. Valen is in vampire territory, Jim can't get him there. His heart clenches with despair, his eyes filling with tears. "W-what do I do? I can't even get there." He sobs, horrified that Valen is stuck with that monster again.

"I can get him." Kane says, determined, his chains tinkling as he moves closer. "I can bring him home."

"Jim, if-" Valen cuts off abruptly, but he can still be heard breathing heavily, and a man's voice distantly, talking menacingly. "Yes, sir," Valen's voice says far from the phone, and the line goes dead.

Jim cries out in anguish as the line drops. "NO NO NO!" He pounds the wall in despair, tears streaming down his face. He whips around to face Kane, also shaken.

"Please.” Jim drops to his knees, like he always used to. "Please, Kane... sir. I'll do anything. Please bring him home. You could, you could be free, just, just please help him get out of there. Please, c'mon, w-we've been good to you, right? Please."

Jim is under no illusions of how far promising Kane anything goes. Kane could condition it on taking him back, things going back to how they were before. Jim would do it, to get Valen away from that horrible abusive monster. He would give up being a person if he has to.

"Jim, it's, it's okay. I'll get him home, and come right back, and, and you don't need to do anything." Kane is honestly really relieved that Valen is in vampire territory instead of being tortured by hunters. He doesn't know the details about Valen's estranged husband, though if Valen is literally being imprisoned by him, that can't be good.

"Th-thank you, thank you, thank you. Kane, man, thank you. Please do it. Please please please, just, please." Jim is not entirely convinced Kane won't just fuck off the second he's set free. He would have no way to get Valen out, then. All he could do is hope for an eventual escape, and Jim knows firsthand how hard that is to pull off.

"I'll leave as soon as the sun sets. I promise, I'll find a way." Kane hesitates. This part is scary. "Could you... call Liz? I'd like to borrow her gear, and make sure that I can get to vampire territory without any of her colleagues... stopping me."

"Of course. 'Course, Kane. Thank you." Jim picks the phone back up.

***

That night, Kane shows up on the doorstep of the Kithrara estate, ready to raise hell. He doesn't even need to find Valen: all he needs to do is create enough commotion for Valen to escape.

He rings the doorbell.

A servant answers.  "Hello?  How may I assist you today?"

Kane dashes past the servant quite rudely, running straight inside. He pulls a stake from his belt and holds it up high.

"PRISCUS KITHRARA!" he shouts at the top of his lungs, hoping Valen hears. "Come out and face me!"

He is immediately swarmed by staff: a few servants, the ones brave enough to run towards instead of away, and a few moments later, security, who tackle him to the ground.

The landing at the top of the stairs leading from the entryway into the mansion proper is soon darkened by the presence of Priscus Kithrara, as well as an older vampire who looks to be his father.  Priscus has Valen at his side, holding his arm, in a facsimile of protectiveness at the disturbance.  Valen is in a modest dress that is not at all his style, and his eyes widen with hope when he sees Kane, but he stays silent.

"What is the meaning of this?" the elder vampire snaps.  "Who do you think you are?"

"Go!" Kane shouts, not looking specifically at Valen, but hoping he gets the message. The door is still wide-open.

Kane is wearing several pieces of silver, and a little bit of struggle is all it takes to start burning the people holding him down. He wriggles his lithe body out of their grasp among the ensuing screams of pain, though he knows he'll no doubt be tackled again a few moments later. He has to act fast.

He grabs a silver-coated throwing dart with a gloved hand and throws it directly at Priscus.

It sticks into Priscus's shoulder, through his clothes, and he hisses in pain, reflexively bringing his hands to the injury.  Valen bolts, flinging himself over the railing with his dress bundled in his hands.

"Valen!" Priscus thunders.  He grabs the dart to tear it out, then yanks his hands back as the silver burns him, before growling and grabbing it again, ripping it out and tossing it away like a hot pan.

One of the security guards steps between Valen and Kane, intercepting Valen on his way to the door.  Valen attempts to go around, and the guard crab walks to match, a high-speed game of chicken.

"Priscus, discipline your wife," the elder vampire growls.

Priscus reaches Valen before he can successfully exit the front door; Valen is smaller, and not as strong or fast as his husband, who is larger and stronger than Valen or Kane, and is also at a disadvantage of being in clothes not made to accommodate running.  Valen is yanked back by a fistful of hair, yelping with pain as he's bent towards the floor under Priscus's iron strong hands.  "What did we talk about?" Priscus growls.

This is bad. Kane needs the attention on him. What could he say to get Priscus to pay attention to him instead?

The most effective thing he can think of is unspeakably crude, and has a chance of backfiring and putting Valen in even more danger. But he's sure that nothing he could say would make Priscus focus more on him than this.

"I am Kane de Sang, and I fucked your wife!" Kane yells, his face heating up, mortified at his own words. "You're a spineless coward who needs a team of guards to face me instead of fighting me for him like a man!"

He's completely winging it. Obviously he will lose a fight with this man. All he needs is for Priscus to drop his guard for just a moment so Valen can get out the door. Just rip off the skirt and run!

Valen whimpers. "You little whore," Priscus hisses, slapping Valen across the face and throwing him to the ground. "I'll deal with you in a second." He turns to face Kane.

Inexplicable rage suddenly wells up in Valen at that moment. He's mostly just let the learned helplessness kick in until now, but for some reason seeing Priscus take Kane more seriously as a threat than Valen himself pushes Valen over the edge. "You will deal with me now!" he roars, throwing himself at Priscus, talons wrapping around his face and sinking into his eyes, blinding him. Dark black blood sprays out as Valen rakes his claws over Priscus's face, ripping at him with a ferocious wail.

Kane has an idea.  It could be a very good idea or a very bad idea. But it's Valen's decision, after all. He doesn't have to take it.

"Valen!" Kane tosses him a stake.

Valen catches the stake in a bloody hand, looking shocked and overwhelmed.  The room hangs in expectant, stunned silence for a moment, as the disobedient wife holds a stake near the sole heir of one of the most powerful families in the country.

Valen looks conflicted. Then his face screws up in anger, and he plunges the stake into Priscus's chest--not through his heart, but very, very close.

"Leave me the fuck alone," Valen hisses in his ear. "Or I won't miss next time."

He then very quickly strips his dress over his head and shoves Priscus away, tossing it over him, so he thrashes to untangled himself, still deathly afraid with the stake in his chest.

Now only in his bloomers and undershirt, Valen runs out the door and off into the night.  Kane dashes off after Valen while everyone is stunned and paying attention to Priscus's disgraced state.  The attention of the staff quickly turns towards making sure Priscus is alive and helping him, rather than chasing either of them ensuring a smooth getaway.

"Sorry for the crudeness!" Kane calls, feeling a desperate need to get that out of the way as soon as possible. "I just wanted his attention off you! That was amazing!"

Valen is laughing as he runs, from sheer joy and exhilaration. "Kane, my dear, it was a brilliant play, I wouldn't have had it any other way! Let's see that piece of shit come after his whore of a wife now! Hahaha! Thank you, Kane, I could kiss you!"

He's done good. Kane has finally done something right in his miserable life. His heart warms. "Save it for Jim! He's been inconsolable for weeks."

Jim, my poor Jim, I'm coming.

Valen has never run this fast, and doing it with a friend next to him is thrilling, and he playfully weaves in and out around Kane, zigzagging around obstacles and giggling. Knowing Priscus and that family, they wouldn’t dare come after him after this. Not when they’d seen Valen almost kill Priscus. They couldn’t risk the heir like that.

They’re finally done with him.  He’s finally free.

He arrives home, the door banging open, his chest heaving, his eyes wide. "Jim!"

Jim leaps into his arms, having been waiting by the door ever since Kane left. He squeezes Valen as tight as he can, which is not all that tightly to a vampire, but still. He sobs into his shoulder. "I missed you."

Valen hugs Jim firmly back, then picks him up and does a little spin. "I missed you more."

"Are you okay? He's not coming back for you?" Jim asks anxiously.

"I'm okay now. And I don't think he will," Valen says. "I think he's finally got it through his thick skull that he'd be better off simply finding a new wife, if he values his wellbeing."

"Good, 'cause you're too busy being, being my boyfriend." Jim laughs tearily. He looks over Valen's shoulder to where Kane stands. "Thank you. Thank you for bringing him home."

"I'm glad I could help." Kane says with a smile.

"Oooh, Kane, take all that wretched silver off so I can finally give you a well-earned hug, would you?"

Kane beams, discarding Liz's things on the porch before coming inside. Jim doesn't let go of Valen, pulling Kane into a group hug.

***

@barebarb

@cc1010foxy

@emcscared-whumps

@gt-daboss

@hurtpluscomfort

@jakersdaboss

@lolrpop

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@pigeonwhumps

@secretwhumplair

@some-thrilling-heroics

@starfields08000

@t0rture-me

@thecyrulik

@thejinglingcourtjester

@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff

@whuarri

@whump-cravings

@whump-my-heart-away

@whumpycries

@wolfeyedwitch

@whump-addict

@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

[dyns33]

Good uncles prequel

Last Sandman and Good Omens crossover. 

When Y/N came to visit Aziraphale in his bookshop, he was a little surprised. Of course, he was always happy to see his dear niece, little Antichrist who had chosen not to destroy the world, but most of the time it was him or Crowley who went to see her, and if the reverse happened, that meant that something was going on.

     "I need advice." she said, looking desperate.

     "And you come to see me... Me ? Just me ?"

     "Yes. I think the divine and good side is most appropriate in this situation."

"Oh, sweet heaven, this is the best day of my long life. Sit down my child, I'm bringing tea and biscuits !"

Aziraphale's joy faded a bit when Y/N explained to him that she was here because of a man. A man she liked to spend time with, whose discussions were very pleasant, and with whom she hoped there would be more.

     "... When you say 'more'... You're talking about becoming his best friend ?" "No. I love him."

     "And that's very good ! Love is a noble feeling, which God encourages. We must love all the beings who populate the earth. But there are also the dangers of sins, and lust..."

     "Uncle Aziraphale, I'm an adult, I don't need that kind of explanation. To be honest, I don't have those kind of thoughts. Well, I won't be against it, but what I really want is to always be with him, and to let everyone know that we are together, faithful to each other."

     "Ah, the sacred bonds of marriage, good !"

     "I don't know about the wedding yet. His niece told me he was married before and..."

     "He is divorced !" cried the angel, putting a hand to his mouth. "That's not... Wait. His niece ? How old is he ?!"

     "I'll tell you again, I'm an adult, so it's none of your business. Anyway, I don't even know if he's even interested in me that way. He didn't do anything to show me that we were more than just friends. And that worries me. Should I tell him how I feel ? But if he doesn't love me back ? If he doesn't want to see me anymore ? I don't want to lose him. But if I say nothing, and he meets someone else ? Oh, uncle, help me, please !"

The best advice he could give her was to be patient. It was nice that they were already friends, it was a good start, and at some point Y/N could clearly see if she had a chance with this man.

     "What about... my situation ? Do you think I should tell him ?"

     “Probably not right away, but after a while... Yes, by finding the right words. A relationship cannot go well with secrets and lies. You have to be appreciated for who you really are."

     "Thank you Uncle Aziraphale."

     "Thank you for coming to seek guidance from an angel."

He would probably have been much less pleased to learn that a few days later, Y/N knocked on Uncle Crowley's door, to ask him exactly the same questions, considering that it was good to have several opinions, but not telling the demon that she was to see Aziraphale first.

     "You made the right decision coming to see me, little mouse. Tell me everything." purred Crowley, offering her a glass of wine.

     "Well. There is this man."

     "Ah. I wish you had started with a simpler sin, but if we're going to have this conversation..."

     "It's really not necessary ! Anyway. There is this man, who is not really a man, I think."

     "You think ?"

     "Well, he's one of my friends' uncle."

     "A sugar daddy, very good."

     "Uncle Crowley !" Y/N growled, grimacing in shame. "It's not like that at all. He's young. Anyway, he looks young. I thought so until yesterday. I met a friend of his, we talked and he was surprised that I don't like Shakespeare. Without doing it on purpose, I said that my uncles had met him, that he was a complete idiot, and that they often had to help him with his plays, and you know what he said ? 'I have a friend who did that too !' Hob is over six hundred years old, Uncle Crowley ! And his friend is the man I love. Maybe... Maybe that's a good sign ? It's better for me to love a supernatural being, right ? You know, with my... heritage ?"

     "It depends. Many people are afraid of Lucifer, so the Antichrist ? There would only be someone very nice, or a satanic not to run away, but a satanic could be bad. I'm not talking about real satanics, but about the fools who do what the demons ask them to do, they're the worst. That's my advice."

Crowley's advice was of course the exact opposite of what Aziraphale had told Y/N. For him, she had to act quickly, do everything to seduce the man she wanted, but she shouldn't tell him what she was. Either way, she had no intention of destroying the world, so it didn't really matter who found out who her real parent was, her adoptive parents were more than enough.

It didn't take long for the two uncles to discover that their adorable niece had consulted them both, and her conclusion was that it was necessary to do a little what they had said, but not completely.

Y/N therefore made the decision to be patient with the being who had stolen her heart, flirting so and so innocently to let him guess that she was not indifferent to him. She implied that she was not a normal human, but never mentioned hell. It seemed like a good decision, which they approved.

Then she invited them to meet her dear friend.

The meeting did not happen, because as they arrived near the pub, the angel and the demon saw someone who should not have been there.

     "What is Dream of the Endless doing in a place like this ?" whispered Aziraphale.

     "He's walking around, and it's a coincidence ? Right ?"

     "I don't know. He... He's talking with people. Mortals."

      "Probably servants, helping him out in the waking world."

     "One of the human servants is talking with our Y/N."

     "I know, he calls himself Hob, and she's in love with his friend who doesn't like Shakespeare ! She's not… No. No." Crowley sighed in despair when his niece went to sit next to Morpheus, looking at him with sparkling eyes and a huge smile.

It was a real disaster.

Of all the beings existing in this universe, and the others, Y/N had to meet and fall in love with Dream of the Endless. He hadn't had as many conquests as his sibling Desire, but he could still be considered a womanizer, whose stories didn't have very nice endings.

A bad ending could lead to the end of the world, if Y/N was not at the origin of the break up. Or if she was, and he tried to send her to hell. 

     "We have to tell her." growled the snake.

     "I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't get involved. She's smart, and he may have already told her about his past."

     "Please. He's ashamed of this past, and he's a proud man. She doesn't know anything. I know ! I saw Nada ! I saw his son. I talked to a witch who wanted to offer me a deal to get revenge on him !"

     "It is true that Calliope was very unhappy after their separation. Oh, the divorce, of course ! The fairy queen is also still furious with him. And there are all the others."

     "We must tell her who he is, and especially how he is with women. I refuse that she suffers because of an Endless !"

     "I don't want her to suffer in general. But she really loves him, and love can make you blind. We have to find the right approach, so that she considers it would be a good thing if they were only friends."

It then seemed judicious to them to go to the essential, preparing a long speech on what was an Endless, and especially Dream. A cold, distant being, who focused on his work above all else, therefore not being available to anyone. And to avoid scattering, they chose to tell her that all his former relationships had been tragic, but to really only talk about Nada, who was trapped in Hell.

It was quite appropriate, and close to home. Y/N would certainly not want to end up here, where she would have to meet her parent.

And as always, whenever they had a great plan, things didn't go their way at all.

[waspredteeth]

Small tangent on Bette Kane and how people treat her

re-reading Beast Boy (2000) in order to really get a sense of where Bette was pre-Batwoman run (2014).

Does anyone else just feel sad whenever Bette brings up Titans West and everyone shoots her down? Objectively, I know that no one thinks Teen Titans West is a great team - especially when people like Hawk and Dove seem better off solo. But you do get a sense of loneliness whenever Bette is so excited at the prospect of getting the band back together.

Given that it's become sort of a running gag for Bette to suggest reforming Titans West, it is something that DC is aware of.

As the Beast Boy run continues, Gar gets himself into incriminating shapeshifter trouble and is put in a holding cell by the police. Bette goes to help him in her Flamebird costume (notably the one from the 80s).

After reading a lot of her earlier appearances in older Titans comics, this kind of exasperated annoyance when Bette makes an appearance is surprisingly frequent. She doesn't have a great reputation among the other Titans at least.

Later on in issue #2, Nightwing hears of Gar's predicament and goes to LA. In the next issue, he fights an enemy shapeshifter who was impersonating Gar. Bette shows up back in the police station to try and bail Gar out, but her check is invalid and the police officer from the prior issue rips it in half. Bette mentions, confused, that she's never tried to post bail before and that she even borrowed money from her Aunt Kathy. (Knowing that Catherine Hamilton wasn't created until the Batwoman series, I personally think this Kathy is supposed to be Kathy Kane.)

When the police learn that Nightwing is fighting "Beast Boy", the heroes learn that the murders of the previous issues were the cause of an impersonator trying to frame Gar. Bette leaves and goes to help Nightwing.

This is the first time I've seen Dick and Bette interacting outside of brief Titans crossovers. It's super obvious that he thinks she's annoying and that she's not skilled enough to be a vigilante. He cuts her off mid-speech and tries to sideline her when they fight the shapeshifter. When it inevitable gets away, he puts the blame on her involvement. Later on, he leaves her to deal with the police and the public on her own.

Putting all of these panels together, the writers are making Bette out as not a "real" hero, someone who clings to the past. In comics like this, Bette is always treated like that annoying little girl who doesn't know when to give up. Especially because Bette has never had her own solo comic, all of her characterization comes with the perspective of whoever's run she's cameoing in.

I am willing to concede that Beast Boy is a very early 2000s comic but since Bette is the only other female character in it besides two villains - it doesn't look good overall. Not to mention, this comic still sticks with the continuity of "Bette has a crush on/is obsessed with Nightwing." ANYWAY this leads to some panels that I actually like, even if it comes off rude and a little misogynstic with Dick telling Bette what to do.

It's that last little declaration of defiance that really solidifies to her character to me. Bette Kane has never needed permission to do anything, especially not being a hero. Also, this kinda puts back into canon that Dick was the inspiration for Bette becoming Flamebird.

When it comes to her characterization, I can't help but feel like she should be (rightly) a little bitter about this convo. When we get her back in Batwoman, Kate doesn't treat her as an equal either and also tries to get her to quit. Bette is a bit younger in the Batwoman run since I think it's post-one of many reboots, but it just adds onto the lack of trust anyone has in her.

Despite being Bruce's cousin, she's a blip in the wider Batman comic-verse. I'm pretty sure Bette hasn't directly interacted with Bruce in a comic, much less anyone other than Dick, Kate, or Cass (once).

All of this goes to say that I'm definitely addressing all of that and making it a main point in my fics. My Flamebird-in-Gotham au came about specifically because I want to reconcile the Bette Kane I like with the way others in-universe treat her. Bette deserves to be treated with respect. Trust me, there will be words had in fanfic form.

(Also bc I just think Bette and Damian interacting would be both interesting and funny).

[dandelion-blues]

The Miracle is You

Intro:

When Lucifer gets his wings back, he doesn't just lose time. He is displaced in another universe. A universe where he might just be accepted and find a family he never knew he needed.

Lucifer x Good Omens crossover fanfic

Chapter 1

“No, no, no!” Lucifer screams frantically. He pulled roughly at the damned extra limbs. He grasped desperately for them, pleading for them to not be real and go away.

The beautiful white feathers stayed, though, achingly adding a now unfamiliar weight upon Lucifer’s back. The beautiful pure white wings ethereally spread out. They were the most beautiful of all angel's wings but sharpened with a deadly grace of all archangels. The wings of the favored son of God, Samael.

Why are his wings back? Why now, after everything? What does Dad want with him now?!

Lucifer wants these wings off now, he needs them off. It’s wrong, wrong, wrong!

Now if Lucifer were in a stable frame of mind he might have noticed that he wasn’t in LA anymore, or even still in his dimension, but well I’m sure he’ll find out soon enough. Especially when our lovely angel and demon couple happen upon him.

“Oh Crowley, it's such a lovely day today, isn’t it?” The angel Aziraphale asks his friend and lover, the pink of dawn marking the horizon with only the quiet sounds of critters heard.

“It always is with you Angel.” Crowley smiles at the Aziraphale. The angel noticeably blushes and starts to stutter something back but is interrupted by frantic yelling heard not too far away.

“What the-” Crowley starts exasperated, but quickly his yellow eyes go large in shock behind his shades.

Just behind the bridge, kneeling in the park’s grass is a person, no an angel marked by their impressive white wings yelling and panicking as they try and desperately grip at their feathers.

Crowley and Aziraphale share one look and quickly go running over to the angel. Only as they get closer, so does their growing horror. The angel is trying to rip out their feathers.

Crowley reaches the angel first and grasps their hands tightly, but not harmfully, to stop them. This unfortunately only causes the unknown angel to flinch hard.

Crowley frowns in concern, but then the angel tries to get out of Crowley’s grasp.

“Stop!” Crowley orders the angel, looking into their eyes. Only the angel’s brown eyes are glazed over, and their handsome face is tight in fear, like they cannot comprehend what is in front of them.

“No no no.” the angel continues to say fearfully and shakes. Their dark eyes staring at Crowley, but not seeing him. “Please, no more!”

“Aziraphale!” Crowley snaps when his angel reaches them, “They aren’t in their right frame of mind, and I can barely hold on to them and keep them from harming themselves. They're too strong. Please Miracle something!”

Aziraphale’s blue eyes go large, and he steals his nerves and nods, producing a Miracle.

Just like that the unknown angel’s eyes roll back, and they fall into Crowley’s arms unconscious.

Unfortunately the unknown’s angel’s impressive wings are out and on display, and people are surely going to come out soon. It’s practically a miracle that no one else has come by yet.

In any case Crowley looks towards Aziraphale, as he is picking up the unknown angel, conveying without words what to do. Aziraphale looks fondly at Crowley and produces the Miracle that gets them and the unknown angel in the bookstore.

“Oh dear, I hope they’re alright.” Aziraphale frets, smoothing his tan blazer, and looking worriedly at the unknown angel. Their dark hair, black as night, high cheekbones, olive skin and young face not looking a day over 25, by human standards anyways. The age doesn't mean much for angels, but well, the point still stands.

“Careful now, or I might think you were checking them out.” Crowley smirks as Aziraphale blushes.

Aziraphale lightly smacks Crowley’s arm, “Hush you.”

Azirahale sighs, “I suppose we should bring them somewhere to rest until they recover.

“Yeah,” Crowley frowns, “I’ve never seen anything like it, they were trying to rip out their feathers, pleading for something or someone to stop.”

Aziraphale looks troubled, and the couple stays in contemplative silence until they reach the guest room and Crowley places the unknown angel gently on the bed, adjusting them on their stomach, so their wings aren’t flattened or harmed.

Except when Crowley carefully adjusts one of the wings, he hisses sharply and takes sight of blood pouring down his hand.

“What happened?” Aziraphale asks worriedly, as Crowley curls his hand towards his body, did the angel’s wing just cut him?!

Aziraphale gently grabs Crowley’s hand, and sure enough there’s a clean slice down his palm, dripping with blood.

Aziraphale gasps, and goes to Miracle something, but Crowley stops him, “Stop, you’ve already used enough Miracles today, besides it’s already closing up.” Just like that the wound closes up like it was never there. The only evidence is the remaining blood.

“Oh alright,” Aziraphale huffs and carefully examines Crowley’s hand, “But what in the Almighty’s name could have done that?”

Crowley glances out at the unknown angel’s wings, a pit forms in his stomach, and he approaches the wings carefully, and sure enough on the end of one of the primary feathers is Crowley’s blood.

Please, don’t be what Crowley is thinking. Please, please, please.

“What-” Aziraphale begins, but lets Crowley continue bewildered.

Crowley goes over the primary feather again, the tip of his index finger just touching it, and he digs his finger in a bit more, and sure enough blood is drawn.

Aziraphale gasps, and quickly takes Crowley’s hand back in his, “What were you thinking?!” Aziraphale starts to rant, fretting at Crowley, except he stops when he sees the look on his demon’s face.

“Their an…” Crowley starts, his voice quivering, “Archangel.”

“No.” Aziraphale gasps.

Crowley nods grimly, “Their primary feathers are deadly sharp, and no other angel would ever possess such wings.”

“What does this mean?” Aziraphale holds Crowley’s hands in confort.

“I don’t know,” Crowley states and squeezes his angel’s hands back, “but I’ll know we’ll get through it together.”

“Together.” Aziraphale agrees and embraces his demon. They glance once more at the unknown angel, a sign of change. What that change is though, it’s too soon to tell.

Luckily, the angel and demon have one another. They chose one another. They navigated the black and white standards of their celestial worlds’, and eventually came to see and accept the world and themselves in all their beautiful shades. Now it’s time for a certain Devil to learn the same, but well that’s for another time.

[crossovershipstournament]

SEMIFINALS: Megaman (Megaman)/Pit (Kid Icarus) VS Huey Duck (Ducktales 2017)/Wakko Warner (Animaniacs)

Propaganda for Megaman/Pit:

This ask, which includes the art used in the bracket image!

Oh my god. This one came immediately to mind. Idk how big the ship is now, but I remember like seeing it everywhere back when Super Smash Bros Ultimate was like popular on Tumblr/Twitter. I think it was originally a crackship cause both of them were in Captain N (a cartoon), but it’s like a serious thing now. Literally all it took was one interaction between them (there’s like dialogue you can get if you do some combination when you play as Pit) which is just Pit gushing about Mega Man. It’s cute. And honestly kind of iconic

#MEGAPIT ?? good for them #go back in time and tell kid me the ship he came up with on a whim would be in a tumblr bracket :'3

#megapit sweep!

#megapit nation let's pokémon go to the polls #let's give it for a wholesome and iconic crackship

#MEGAPIT NATION RISE. RISE. RISE #MEGAPIT

#MEGAPIT!!!1!

#MEGAPIT NATION RISE UP

#c'mon megapit nation #sure they may lose but let's get them some votes anyways!

#vote for the boys people!!! #let's get them as far as possible

This art!

#Hits u with my megapit blast

#but let's do our best for our artificial and flying (kinda) boys!!!

#be on the megapit side of history

#c'mon c'mon c'mon!!! #should it have to go down #then megapit won't go down easily!

#megapit #MY BOYSSSSSS

#MEGAPIT NATION WE NEED YOU #AND EVERYONE ELSE#HELP THEM WIN!!!

#MEGAPIT NATION STAND STRONG

#they might get annihilated but we're not going down without a FIGHT #come on boys. smash bros is nothing without either of u #manifesting megapit sweep

#MEGAPIT I BELIEVE IN YOU

#VOTE MEGAPIT #MEGAPIT NATION WE NEED YOU #RISE #RISE RISE RISE

#probably the end of the line for the robot and the angel #but that's no reason to give up so easily! #get the boys some votes!

More art! With an unwanted visitor.

Propaganda for Huey Duck/Wakko Warner:

Huey and Wakko are classic opposite attrack characters, while also touches of "you're drawn to people who remind you of your family" thrown in. They're both very autistic coded characters (because their shows are cowards and refuse to say the word) but in opposite ways. Wakko is very outside of the norm where as Huey holds himself to a strict set of rules. While Huey adds a bit of routine to Wakko's life, Wakko encourages Huey to cut back, go outside of his comfort zone at his own pace and also relax a little. Wakko reminds Huey of both his siblings, excitable and dramatic like Dewey, and laid back (compared to his siblings) and mischevious like Louie, where as Huey reminds Wakko of his own siblings. A bit more uptight and bratty like Dot, and intelligent and encouraging like Yakko. They also bring out different sides of each other, Wakko can be gross and messy and Huey somehow finds it charming, and Huey can help Wakko see that he's intelligent and creative in his own ways rather than being outshined by his own siblings. They both also have anger issues, and Wakko would be great at helping Huey to feel his anger rather than always keeping it hidden away. He makes Huey feel seen and heard and taken care of because Huey doesn't have to be the Older BrotherTM around Wakko. Basically just opposites attract autistic kids who help each other come into one another.

#yall need to vote for my baby angels #wakko/huey sweep #please #they deserve it #their shows treated them awfully

#MY BABIES VOTE WAKKO/HUEY YOU LEGALLY HAVE TO ITS MY BIRTHDAY

#HUEY WAKKO SWEEP YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO VOTE THE BABIES

Art Credit: Megaman/Pit art by @/farraigeart Huey/Wakko art by @/justadoll and @/krillconnessieur

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Brotherhood (2)

Directly following the events of Double Helix, Danny enrolls in Bayville High school and joins the Brotherhood of Mutants. He's not sure if they actually believe he's a ghost and not a mutant, but at least they don't care enough to challenge him on it, and that's good enough for him. This is a direct sequel to Double Helix (linked above), and some parts may be confusing without the context of the original fic. I suggest you read that first.

Written for @crossoverdanuary Week 2024, Day 5: The Owl House X-Men Evolution | Shell

I have seen exactly two episodes of The Owl House, and that was like four years ago or something, so I was not confident in my ability to write a crossover for it. Also, from this chapter on, it's unedited and I'll come back to edit later. I just want to actually finish this fic tonight.

I tried to work in a theme of both Danny and Wanda "coming out of their shell" throughout the fic. You can also read it on AO3.

Chapter 2: Transition

Previous

[Warning for mental institutions]

"You guys got any plans for the long weekend?" Lance asked as he sprawled out on the shabby couch in the board house. "Kitty told me she and some of the X-dorks are going on an educational retreat to the California redwoods. They decided on it yesterday. Can you imagine being able to just up and fly to the other side of the country on a whim."

"And for educational purposes, yuck!" Toad agreed. "If I had my own jet like they do, I'd go to Vegas!"

"If you could afford a jet like they have, you wouldn't have to go to Vegas," Lance said. "You'd already be rich. If I had my own jet, I would use it to go to all the concerts I'd normally miss because they're too far away."

"I don't need a private jet to go wherever I want," Pietro bragged. "If I want to go to a concert, I'll run right in past security and no one will even know."

"And if that concert is in Europe?" Lance asked. "Or Asia? You know, across a massive ocean? Can you run there?"

"Okay, point taken, but why would I wanna go to a snooty European concert anyway?" the speedster scoffed. "What about you, Danny?"

"What do I need a jet for? I can already fly," he said. "Not that I use it for major travel much. Maybe I should. That's what my cousin does. She flies all over the world."

"Hey! We should do something fun this weekend!" Toad declared. "Maybe sneak into a concert, or go somewhere cool! Show those X losers we know how to have a good time while they use their fancy private jet to go learn things."

"Sure, I'm down," Lance agreed.

"Sorry guys, I'm gonna pass this time. I actually do have plans this weekend," Danny said. "I'm gonna fly upstate and visit a friend. I haven't seen her in a few weeks."

"Her?" Pietro repeated with a smirk. "This wouldn't happen to be a girlfriend would it?"

"It's not like that," Danny said. "She's a friend. She's a girl. That's it."

"Uh-huh... sure," Toad said, sounding unconvinced. "You dog."

"Lay off," Danny said, rolling his eyes. "Come on, we gotta get to school. Long weekend's not here yet."

Toad groaned.

"Buck up, we've only got one more day," Lance pointed out.

When the long weekend finally arrived, Danny filled his pockets with all the things he wanted to bring, said good-bye to the Brotherhood, who barely acknowledged him as they argued about what to do that weekend, and took off. He flew north, toward the mental institution. It had been almost three whole weeks since he'd last been there, but he remembered the way.

Honestly, he hadn't expected to go back so soon, and Wanda probably wouldn't be expecting him either, but it wasn't like he was gonna be an inpatient this time. He would turn invisible and pop into Wanda's room to hang out with her. It hadn't even been that long, really, but he missed her.

Thinking about her in that room all alone again, without anyone or anything to distract her, it almost made him regret leaving in the first place. He should have been more considerate. Even though she said she'd be okay, leaving just because he didn't like Xavier was selfish.

When, after almost a full day of flying, he finally caught sight of the building, resentment gripped his chest. He hated this place. If it weren't for Wanda, he wouldn't have even stayed as long as he had. And if it weren't for her, he definitely wouldn't have come back, ever. No matter what.

But he did. He came back. For Wanda.

Sneaking in went just as planned. No one saw him. No one heard him. He was a ghost, after all. The moment he saw Wanda, he realized that he'd missed her even more than he'd thought.

"Knock knock," he said as he appeared in her room.

She jumped in surprise, but when she saw him, she smiled. "You scared me."

"Should I have said 'Boo', instead?" he asked. "I totally should have. Missed opportunity."

She chuckled slightly and shook her head.

"You seem to be doing pretty well, all things considered," he noted.

She was still wearing a straight jacket, but it looked looser, like whoever had put it on her wasn't as worried about her getting out. Her small smile still seemed genuine. Three weeks on her own again hadn't sent her straight back to her darkest place, it seemed.

"Yeah," she agreed. "I've been taking your advice. Whenever I notice myself getting stuck thinking about the bad memory, I try to think of three good ones. It's hard sometimes, but I think the more effort it takes, the better it works, because it keeps me distracted for longer. Yesterday, I remembered reading that book with you. You know the one. I tried to imagine an ending for it where they were both arrested as war criminals instead of having a happy ending. Do you want to hear it?"

"Absolutely," Danny confirmed.

In truth, he hadn't even thought about that trashy romance novel in ages. It was largely forgettable for him, but if it helped Wanda better navigate her emotions then hell yeah he wanted to hear her ideas for an alternate ending.

In her version of the ending, there was a huge trial. The kings of both sides agreed that the Warlock and Sorceress were guilty of crimes against Arvenia, and sentenced them to live the rest of there lives in a deep, dark dungeon where the lovers could only communicate by having rats deliver notes between them.

Then, after years of planning their escape one note at a time, they broke out and took over the world together, killing the kings and terrorizing the people of Arvenia to keep them in line.

"Ooh, plot twist!" Danny said when she got to that part. "I like that you made them the villains in the end. They should have been the villains from the beginning."

"I agree," Wanda said. "It was stupid that the book just gave them another villain to blame for all the bad things they did and fight off, rather than acknowledging their crimes."

"Totally!" Danny emphatically agreed. "Oh, I just remembered! I brought you some stuff."

He reached into his pockets and pulled out all the stuff he'd brought. He pulled out a deck of cards, a book of MadLibs and a pen, a sheet of stickers. He wasn't sure what they would have the most fun with, so he'd just  brought a bunch of random junk. Lastly, he pulled out a necklace, a black choker with an ankh charm.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Your first goth accessory," he said. "I found it in a random box in the attic where I'm staying now."

"No, I mean what's that symbol?" she asked, repositioning herself so Danny could put the necklace on her.

"Oh, it's an ankh. The Egyptian symbol for life, I think."

"Life, huh? Doesn't sound very goth."

"Well, you would be wearing it ironically," he said. "Most of the other gothy stuff I found had crosses, and seeing as your Jewish and all...." He shrugged. "Felt like it would be disrespectful. So, do you like it?"

"Yeah, I like it a lot," Wanda said. "You know," her voice became suddenly softer than before, like she was nervous. "Professor Xavier is going to come tomorrow. I think tomorrow might finally be the day he takes me with him."

"You think?" Danny asked, excited for her despite his hatred of the professor.

"Yeah," she confirmed. "I've been doing a lot better lately, and I have a really good feeling about it."

"That's awesome, Wanda!" he told her. "In that case, let's call the necklace a good luck charm. I'm rooting for you. I know you can do it."

"Thanks."

"You know, I also found this totally sweet red leather coat when I was rooting around in the attic," he said. "Ankle-length, flared collar, and it's your favorite color. Once you're ready to give up the straight jacket, I'll bring it to you as a congratulations present. What do you think?"

"I think you're really trying to motivate me."

"What can I say? I miss my friend."

"Then we have a deal," she agreed. Tomorrow is gonna be the day. I just know it."

Danny grinned widely at her. 

For the rest of the day, they mostly played MadLibs. They tried a few card games, too, but with Wanda's hands restrained, the only thing they could really do was collaborative solitaire, and that got old fast. Danny stuck little ghost and bat stickers on all the latches on her straight jacket while he told her about the school he was going to, and the board house. How he'd picked the same city the Xavier Institute was in so he could see her again when she enrolled there.

"They're all mutants at the board house," Danny told her. "I don't know if they actually believe I'm not, but they don't push it. They don't even call me a mutant by mistake. I don't know, maybe it's 'cause they're afraid I'll do something, or maybe it's 'cause they just don't care enough to argue with me, but either way, that's better than I ever got from Xavier."

"I'm glad you found people who accept you," Wanda said. "I hope when I go to the professor's school, I will too."

"Me too," Danny agreed. "And hey, even if you don't find them there, you'll still have me."

She smiled at him. Her smile was always small, burdened, a little sad behind the eyes, but it was honest. Danny liked that about her. She never tried to hide anything.

That night, he crashed in her room. Despite being fully padded, it was not very comfortable, but it was better than trying to fly through the night and ending up sleeping in a tree somewhere. He said 'see ya later' and left early in the morning to make sure he wouldn't be seen when the orderlies came to get her for her meeting with the professor, and promised to meet up with her again soon.

Then, he spent another day flying back to Bayville.

"You're getting back a little late, aren't you?" Lance observed when Danny finally returned to the board house. "Did you get to spend some quality time with your girlfriend?"

"Again, not my girlfriend, but yes, I did," Danny responded. "How was your... whatever you guys decided to do this weekend?"

"Oh, we ended up not being able to decide, so we just ordered pizza and stayed here all weekend," Lance answered. "So that was... that."

"Oh, yeah, those X-Men are gonna be soo jealous of the weekend you had."

"Shut up!"

It wasn't until a couple days later that news reached the Brotherhood of the X-Men's newest member. It came by way of Lance's budding relationship with Kitty.

"Really!? The X-Men have a new member?" Danny repeated excitedly when he heard the news after school.

"That's what Kitty said," Lance confirmed. "Apparently she's not gonna start at Bayville High for another few of days so she can get settled, but yeah. I don't know anything about her, though."

"I'm pretty sure I do!" Danny said. "I gotta go!"

"What?"

Danny didn't bother to explain. He went ghost, made a quick pit-stop in the attic to grab something and then flew straight for the Xavier Institute. He'd never actually been there before, but Tabitha told him where it was a while back. Apparently, she used to be an X-Men trainee before she joined the Brotherhood, and she was still friends with some of them.

Turrets rose up out of the ground the moment he got past the gate. Probably motion-activated. Danny easily avoided getting hit by turning intangible and staying that way until he'd flown straight through the front door. It actually took a while. The grounds were huge.

By the time he got through, there was a group of mutants waiting for him, suited up and ready for a fight.

"Relax, I'm not here to fight," Danny said. He held up the paper bag he'd brought with him. "I'm just bringing a friend a gift."

"Who are you?" demanded a guy with a weird visor. Scott, probably. He seemed like Scott.

"What do you mean who am I?" Danny asked. "You know me!"

"Like, I've never seen you before," Kitty said, crossing her arms. 

How they expected to protect their identities when they didn't even wear masks, Danny had no idea.

"What are you talking about? I—" He stopped himself abruptly. "Oh yeah, my bad," he said, and let the rings of his transformation wash over him, revealing his human form. "Recognize me now?"

Judging by their gasps, the answer was yes, but they didn't stand down.

"What are you doing here?" Jean asked. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with the Xavier Institute."

"I don't wanna join, but it's not like I hate you guys or anything," Danny said. "This just isn't the place for me. And I already told you why I'm here. I'm brought a congratulations present for Wanda. She's your new member, right? Or trainee? Whatever."

"How do you know that?" asked a fuzzy blue mutant that Danny didn't recognize until he started talking. That German accent was unmistakably Kurt.

"Well, when I saw her the other day, she said she felt really confident that she was going to be able to join you guys soon, and then Lance said Kitty said you got a new member, so I figured it must be her."

The others all glared at Kitty.

"What?" she asked. "It's not like it was gonna be a secret for long anyway. We, like, all go to the same school!"

"I wasn't aware you and Wanda were so close," came a familiar voice.

Danny turned to see the professor wheeling in and had to school his face to avoid scowling at him.

"We're friends," he said. "Can I see her or not? And keep in mind if you say no, I'm just gonna find her anyway."

"As long as you haven't come with ill intentions, I see no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to see her," the professor said. "We're all mutants after all, and a sense of community is important."

"I'm not a mutant," Danny muttered, his scowl finally breaking through.

The professor responded with a tight smile. "Jean, why don't you show Danny to Wanda's room."

"Of course, professor," Jean agreed. "It's this way."

She headed up the stairs and Danny followed.

"So do you and Wanda know each other from the institution?" Jean asked. "I mean, sorry, that's probably personal. I hope you don't mind me asking."

"It's fine," Danny said. "Yeah. Security couldn't exactly hold a guy who walks through walls, so I would sneak into her room sometimes and we'd hang out. She always wanted to be able to come here. I could never really understand it, but I'm still proud of her, you know? I may not agree with you guys, but you're good people. For the most part. I'm not quite sold on Scott, yet."

Jean chuckled. "I guess we can't really ask for more than that." She stopped in the hallway and knocked on a door. "Wanda, you in there? You have a visitor."

The door opened seemingly on its own.

"Danny!" Wanda's voice called. "I didn't think you'd be here so soon."

"I came as soon as I heard, and I guess word travels fast," he replied. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in," she said.

"I'll leave you to it," Jean said, as she backed away into the hall and closed the door behind her.

"You look good," Danny said.

Her clothes were a bit mismatched, but it was the first time he was seeing her without a straight jacket, and that was a huge improvement. She was also wearing the choker he'd given her. Her hair looked recently washed, and was neatly combed and tucked behind her ears. 

Even the way she held herself was more confident, happier. Not being in that rotten mental institution was already having a positive affect on her, it seemed.

"I brought something that'll make you look even better." He held up the paper bag.

"The coat?" she asked, rushing forward excitedly to take the bag from him.

"I hope it fits," he told her. "It looked about the right size."

She let the bag drop to the floor as he pulled the coat out and smoothly slid it on. It looked like it might be a little wide in the shoulders, but other than that, it fit like a glove.

"It's perfect," she said.

"I also found some earrings that match the necklace," he said. "I slipped 'em in one of the pockets. I know you don't have pierced ears, but I figured if you ever did, you might like to have them."

She patted the pockets until she found what he was talking about and smiled when she pulled them out. Then, she laid them gently on her dresser.

He didn't think he'd ever seen her smile so much, and so unabashedly. It wasn't the tiny, hesitant smile she'd worn before. She was really coming out of her shell.

"Careful," he said. "Looking at you now, I'd almost think you weren't consumed by rage."

Her smile fell. 

That had been the wrong thing to say.

"I am still angry," she said. "I can't stop it. But... you were right. I didn't need to control my anger. I just had to stop letting my anger control me. Now I can be angry and happy at the same time. Angry and excited. I feel more than just anger now. It feels good."

"I'm happy to hear it," he told her. "So how's this place treating you so far?"

"I have a roommate!" she replied instantly. "Her name is Rahne. And tomorrow, when they're done with school, she and some of the other girls are gonna take me to the mall for new clothes so I don't have to wear stuff from the lost-and-found anymore."

"That makes sense," Danny said.

"Do you wanna come?" she invited.

"I... would... but I might ruin the mood," he said apologetically. "Some of them don't trust me since I'm technically part of the Brotherhood, and we're... enemies? Rivals? Something like that. Plus, you don't want a guy tagging along on your first girl's shopping trip. Trust me. You'll want the full experience."

"You have a point...."

"I'll enjoy the surprise of seeing your new wardrobe when you come to school in a few days," he said.

They hung out and chatted for a little while until Wanda's roommate came back and Danny figured that was his cue to go. As he left her new room, he had the distinct pleasure of telling her he'd see her at school.

He could feel eyes on him until he was all the way off the manor grounds. They may not have hated him, but these X-Men sure as hell didn't trust him either.

Whatever. He didn't care what they thought about him. As long as they took care of Wanda, and left him alone, they were alright in his book. So far, so good.

[free-for-all-fics]

Stupid, silly Namor or Attuma fic ideas. Don’t think too hard about these they’re just funny little ideas. Pls tag me if you write or get inspired by any of these. Like always, there are no rules:

1. The reader is labeled as the village idiot because she likes to sing with her head underwater to "sing to the mermaids". The village ridicules her for it. One day, she is swept out in a riptide, and no one is willing to come to her aid—no one from the village, that is.

2. Reader is full of bad puns and dad jokes, much to the chagrin of Namor/Attuma. "Why are seagulls called seagulls?"

“Stop now.”

“Because if they flew over bays, they'd be bagels! Oh hey, What did one wave say to the other?"

“I swear, if you make one more ocean related pun, I will murder you on this island and tell everyone you died in a shipwreck."

"...well, someone's salty."

3. You put a message in a bottle and set it out to sea in the hopes it’ll reach Namor/Attuma so you can be pen pals. “Oh my god I love you but you’re so stupid.” They say because you have no idea that’s not how mail works.

4. You’re in love with Namor/Attuma, but you’re also obsessed with monsters and cryptids so you keep asking them questions like “Is the Kraken real?? What about 6 headed hydras? Have you seen Nessie?? Are they friendly? Darling tell meeeeeee”

5. Reader does that stupid prank thing where she pretends to do a magic trick with an egg and a bottle of water. She’s like “Ok now look inside” and squeezes the bottle, spraying water in Attuma/Namor’s face and runs away cackling.

6. You introduce Namor/Attuma to a wonderful human invention - Water beds. They are less than amused. Reader, consider your sexy time privileges revoked😑

7. Attuma/Namor trying to teach reader combat and how to fight like a Talokanil but reader keeps making it sexy and Namor/Attuma is like “Ok maybe we should stop. You’re not even listening to me or learning anything properly!” And reader is like “Oh I’m learning all the right techniques perfectly. 😏😘”

8. Those videos from EVNautilus of the people in a submarine coming across a dumbo octopus and a googly eyed stubby squid but instead it’s scientist reader being shown Talokan by Attuma or Namor and fawning over the sea creatures because they’re just little guys. Sweet underwater babies. And reader being like “it’s just a baby can I adopt it pls” 🥺 and Namor or Attuma being like “pay attention. Remember why we’re here.”

9. “Your child brings home a raccoon, mistaking it for a cat and begs to keep it” trope but instead it’s Namor/Attuma and their child has brought home an anglerfish or some other hideous abomination of the sea. It’s surprisingly docile and follows the child around like a pet anyway so can we keep it??? Please father 🥺

10. Namor and Jeff the Land Shark crossover. That’s it. That’s the post. Reader wants to adopt Jeff as their child. He’s just a baby 🥺

11. Peter Pan “They were just having a bit of fun, weren’t you, girls?”

“We were only trying to drown her” Mermaid Lagoon AU

12. “General, I’ve brought the cartographer into the war meeting today. I believe you owe her an apology for ruining all her maps when you stab them to dramatically mark a location.” (What if the “cartographer” is actually Attuma’s small daughter or sister drawing doodles of maps and playing pretend/mirroring what her dad or brother does because she wants to help and it’s all in jest hehe)

13. 2 days ago you went to an animal shelter and adopted the most adorable cat. What you don’t know is, he’s the reincarnation of an Aztec god. Your food offerings are unacceptable and that ugly small box that feels like it’s made from scratchy carpet will not do. No. He’ll be sleeping in your bed with you. Don’t try to lock him out; he’ll just scream and sing the songs of his people until you let him back in. (Or maybe through a magic mishap Namor has been accidentally transformed into a cat. Yeah Namor as a cat AU. I told you these ideas were silly.)

14. “Would you still love me if I was a worm” meme With Namor or Attuma but instead it’s “Would you still love me if I was a sea cucumber” or something ocean related

15. Namor or Attuma are taking their daughter trick or treating this year and ask what she wants to be for Halloween. A superhero, a mermaid, a princess? No. She wants to be a horseshoe crab. Possible Modern AU.

16. Reader goes to the beach often and befriends the seagulls/pelicans. So they start to bring her gifts like shells, rocks, etc. Except one day they bring you a golden bracelet, beaded necklace, or jade earrings (your choice of which). It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. A few days later, Namor shows up at the beach, looking very annoyed as he asks for his necklace/bracelet/or earrings back.

17. You and Namor or Attuma meet on the beach in your special spot. You don’t get to be with him often considering he’s kept away by his responsibilities and loyalty to Talokan, and you’re human. It’s usually your only chance to have time where you can just quietly love each other. Except a stupid fucking seagull or pelican has been following you to both the beach and your home; squawking incessantly, wreaking havoc and basically cockblocking you. Untitled Goose Game AU but it’s a seagull/pelican.

[bloodonmysqueegee]

Ok I'm gonna do a bit of a tangent here:

Superior Spider-Man is coming back. Here's some things I'd love to happen, as well as some general predictions :]

(Here's some doodles to start)

We still don't know the time period of when this volume will be like if it's in the past or not, but I'm going to assume it's in the present timeline.

Predictions:

The way he'll be brought back will be some contrived bullshit. There's honestly no other way to do it aside from maybe a scenario where he comes back as a multiverse variant, but I don't think they're gonna do that. (I don't really mind, things happen, but still)

He'll get at least one change to his suit. Even if it's something subtle like changing the eyes from black to white in vol 2 (not saying they should, but I think it'd be cool to see them cook up a new alt. costume)

His story will have something to do with the multiverse stories that Slotts also been writing at the time (I haven't read those so I can't say if they're good or not, but either way adding superior to anything tends to bring more interest anyway)

What I want:

For Superior to be brought back as a separate entity from current comic doc ock (would he probably be brought back in some bullshit way? Yes.) But imagine the story potential that could have! Also it would potentially save superior from being erased again

For him to have a down to earth conversation with 616 Peter. PLEASE. Just let them talk about their problems, they share so much with eachother! Let Peter confide in him about the bullshit stories he's been in.

Superior is self aware of the current state of spiderman books and how much of an ass pull his vol 2 death was

ACKNOWLEDGE SPIDERGEDDON PLEASE (SUPERIOR HAD A FRI E. ND IN THAT ARC AND HIS NAME IS 1048 PETER)

Allow him and Anna Maria to remain platonic! They were lovely to see as friends in vol 2, I don't really want them to be romantic together though, give us some good platonic bestie rep

Allow superior to be in other media now that he's back! Crossovers! Go nuts! He's such an interesting character to bounce off of.

LET HIM BE HAPPY. GIVE HIM A BREAK. Have him sit down with a coffee in casual clothes and acknowledge that yes, he is doing better

Stuff I REALLY want (but won't happen)

Superior goes back to e-1048. Even if it's for one issue. I know I'm insane for those two, but we really need more content of them. Hell, have him move away from 616 to get away from his past life troubles and live in 1048 with someone that enjoys his company.

Superior gets a moment to just relax. Let the man sleep. I need a panel of him napping or relaxing.

ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE HAS GROWN AND CHANGED. Yes, there's room for improvement, but he was a generally good person in vol 2 and I don't want them to forget all his development please PLEA

And most importantly: this new arc better not end with him dying or getting erased again or I'll lose I'll hope in humanity.

[teetle-time]

Live or Die, Man, We Need Each Other (Part 1 of ???)

Shortly after the invasion, Leo and his brothers go on their first post-Krang mission: stopping a different ominous group of occultists from summoning a being of unknowable power from another (non-prison) dimension to wreak havoc. Evil never rests, after all, even if he and his bros should probably still be recovering from their last big all-out battle.

Meanwhile, Danny just wants to take a fucking nap.

Surely this won't turn into something absolutely massive in scale that sucks them all in.

(or, so do yall remember that Danny Phantom crossover that's been haunting me? yeah lol behold. throwing some ghost king danny in a blender with the rise guys and some classic tmnt tropes that rise never really got a chance to explore, with an eventual side of textfic/chatfic, jack and maddie fenton trying to be good parents, dani, the epf, the giw, roughly one and a half farmhouse arcs, rise-ifications of minor characters from previous tmnt iterations, and *checks notes* shelldon my son <3)

Not actually posting to ao3 right away this time I think- I kinda wanna polish/tweak this bit a lil more first, but I figured this first bit works well enough on its own! also i wanted to infect yall w/ the brainworms because a mere 8 dp-only xovers on ao3 feels like it should be illegal <3

〜

There was an electric charge in the air as Leo peered down at the cultists from the rafters.

Considering the fact that the charge felt like a portal despite Leo's lack of portaling intent, he would bet away his rights to the final pizza slice for a month that something was about to come through.

The cult below (not the Foot, shockingly enough) had chanted enough Latin that Donnie had gone pale upon checking his tech for a translation, so that 'something' probably wasn't good, either.

Just how Leo wanted to spend the end of his first full day off his crutches.

Really.

(Idly, he wondered if there was any point to being so bitingly sarcastic in his own mind when nobody could hear him anyway.)

He met Raph's eyes, then Mikey's, then Donnie's, each of them mirroring his own resignation and resolve.

"Veni ad nos, Rex inquieti Mortuorum!" cried the cultists as one. "Veni ad nos ut serviamus tuo glorioso proposito in mundo viventium!"

Leo opened the mind meld for a split second. Right, so I caught "rex," "mortuorum," and "serviamus." All in favor of sending these idiots to the Pain Train?

That got matching smirks from his brothers, and Leo grinned back before flipping down from the ceiling and dropping into the main mass of observing cultists. "Hey, guys, I think I got a bit lost. I was looking for the bathroom, but it looks like I found a bunch of would-be world-conquerers instead!"

The face of one of the lead cultists, the one at the head of the summoning circle, contorted into an expression of rage almost comically intense- and, to be quite honest, second only to Casey's extremely emotive face.

And then the rest of the cultists swarmed him.

Luckily, his brothers had only been a split second behind him, and the four of them wove between cultists with ease when possible and laid the hurt on 'em when slipping through wasn't an option.

"We gotta break that circle!" called Mikey worriedly. "Barry told me even circles half as ornate still summon things way above our pay grade!"

"We're getting paid?" quipped Leo, even as he zeroed in on the circle and slashed his katanas through the air. "What, we get an allowance now?"

No portal of his own appeared, his energy immediately flowing into the air just above the circle instead. Lovely.

As Leo inwardly rolled his eyes and just pressed further through the mass of people, Raph's crimson projection shot overhead. "POWER SMASH JUTSU!"

While Raph did successfully manage to bring his glowing fists down on the circle with enough force to shake the ground and knock the cultists nearest him off their feet, the circle only glowed an ominous acid green, completely untouched despite the now-massive cracks in the concrete around it.

The lead cultist laughed from where he'd fallen to the ground. "Yes! Yes! The King has heard our call and is coming to do our bidding!"

Leo watched in horror as the acid green crackled into icy blue, and as the temperature plummeted, an eerie voice rang through the warehouse.

"Uh, the only bidding I was planning on doing today was in an online auction for a rare piece of Dumpty Humpty merch."

What.

All motion froze, and Leo found himself gawking as smoke billowed from the circle before coalescing into…a white-haired humanoid teenager.

"And I'm pretty sure that auction just got sniped from me with 10 seconds left on the clock, but instead of getting the chance to snipe it back, I got yanked out here," snarked the teenager, glaring at the hooded cultists with eyes the same acid green as the circle had been.

One of his eyebrows lifted slightly at the sight of Leo and his bros, but otherwise he paid them no mind.

One of the cultists spluttered. "What-?! You're not the Ghost King!"

The teen's face went flat. "No, actually, I'm pretty sure I am. Wasn't planning on it, but, yknow, the old guy picked a fight with me a few years back. If it's him you wanted, uh…you're shit outta luck. I don't really do things his way."

The cultists all started turning towards the teen in anger, but-

One.

One single flick of his wrist, and the cultists were all encased in ice, save for small holes just in front of their noses and mouths.

That was all it took.

The teen groaned and dropped his head into his hands, some of the eerie reverb fading from his voice. "And today's a test day."

"Uhhh…" said Leo intelligently.

The teen stiffened, then stood up straight and scratched at the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. "Ah, shit, sorry about all this. Were these idiots trying to sacrifice you? Cultists have a tendency to do that, even though I keep telling them not to."

"Um, no…Your Majesty…?" tried Raph, his voice rising to a squeak at the end.

"Ugh, ew, please no." The teen grimaced. "You can just call me Phantom. Or my first name, but I'm not really sure I wanna say that out loud with these guys right here." He hooked a thumb over his shoulder at one of the cultists, who helpfully made a furious little peep in the ice.

"Fair enough," said Mikey, getting his metaphorical feet under him just before Leo could. He clapped his hands together cheerfully, and only Leo's lifetime of growing up with Mikey let him still see his younger brother's nerves. "So, are there any rules or anything for that summoning circle that need to be put into action before you can go back to your online auctions?"

Phantom shrugged. "I mean, technically if there's still somebody conscious around, I still have to make a deal before I can leave, but I'd be willing to get these guys to the cops with evidence of their crimes in exchange for directions back to Illinois."

Leo met Donnie's eyes. He could see the urge to ask Phantom every question in the English language.

Donnie shot him a pleading look.

Leo pressed his beak together thinly, then smiled at Phantom. "As long as that evidence doesn't include us four. And also my twin bro over there wants to be able to ask you things. Probably all the things."

"I can keep you out of it," Phantom agreed immediately. "I know what it's like to wanna stay on the down-low, trust me. Though…I probably can't stay very long, but I can make an email address so we can keep in touch?"

"That would be splendid!" declared Donnie, a grin already splitting his face.

"Sweet," said Phantom. With a snap of his fingers, the cultists and their icy cases shot out the door, the circle's light died, and a slip of paper appeared in front of Donnie. "Now, uh…how do I get to Illinois?"

Seeing Donnie preoccupied with entering the text on the paper into his systems, Leo went to pull out his phone, but Raph beat him to it, already opening up TelloMaps and showing Phantom. "Well, it's a bit of a ways away, but-"

Phantom's hands flew up to grab at his hair. "I'M IN NEW YORK?!"

Leo frowned. "Hey, what's wrong with New York?"

"Nothing!" said Phantom far too cheerily, already lifting into the air. "Except! It is an almost 900 mile flight and I have cl-uh, gotta be somewhere in under two hours! Gotta go, I'll keep in touch, can't stay any longer BYE!"

And he shot out one of the upper windows in a flash, leaving only a skybound sonic boom in his wake.

Leo blinked. "…huh. D'ya think he knows I could just portal him there, or…?"

Mikey visibly deflated into Donnie's side. "Ohhhmegosh, Barry's gonna lose it when I tell him about this."

"Woah, woah, hold on, who says we gotta tell him anything?" Leo asked.

"Bro, the 'old guy' Phantom mentioned?" Mikey quirked a brow ridge at him. "That'd be Pariah Dark, a violent ghost who ascended to the ghost throne right about when humanity was learning about this hot new thing called 'fire.' Barry taught me about it on, like, my second day of mystic training. Dude was so big and bad his subjects had to revolt and lock him up, like the Shredder on steroids except without the evil armor possessing him."

Donnie pressed his palms together and lifted them against his beak, the perfect picture of someone who'd just realized something horrifying. "Is the throne passed down through, perchance, a line of conquest?"

Mikey nodded. "But usually mystics tend to figure that anybody who could beat Pariah Flippin' Dark would be even bigger and badder than him. Except…"

Raph's face was turned down in a thoughtful frown. "He sounded…kinda like a normal human teenager our age. Except for the 'dead' thing. Did he actually mention Dumpty Humpty, or was Raph just hearing things?"

"If he'd known there'd been a change in power, Barry would've told me," Mikey continued. "Not just because I'm his favorite, but because he knows I'm just chaotic enough to think about trying bigger things on my own, and learning about the Ghost King is kinda huge."

"Only thinking, though, right, Mikey?" prodded Raph sternly.

"Scout's honor!" chirped he immediately.

"Is that even something we can say after we failed at being Todd Scouts…?" Leo trailed off.

"Casey made me an honorary Brownie Scout when she came to visit after the invasion and you guys were all out cold," said Mikey unapologetically.

"I wonder what happened 'a few years back,' and what a white-haired fellow teen from Illinois had to do with it," mused Donnie, helpfully bringing the conversation back around to the important bit.

"Betcha Hueso might be in the know," Leo suggested. "He's a yokai instead of a ghost, but being a skeleton yokai might mean he knows stuff like this."

"Let's get home before we do anything else," said Raph. "I can see Leo's legs shaking under his weight."

"What?" Leo protested. "My legs aren't-!"

Unhelpfully, his knees knocked together hard enough to draw his attention to where they were, in fact, shaking from the effort of holding himself up.

"Ah, crud," Leo groaned. "Never mind. I can still portal us home, though, at least."

"That's what I thought," Raph snorted. "Besides, I think this whole Ghost King mess can probably wait until we're all sitting down, if that's the new guy."

Mikey nodded. "Gotta give ya that. Barry'll probably still make a funny face, though."

"Eh, let him." Leo hefted himself up onto Raph's shell, then leaned to the side and sliced a portal open. "Vámanos!"

〜

As Danny streaked over Pennsylvania, he dug out his phone and started tapping at the email app Tucker had coded a few months back. It'd been mostly for laughs- who on Team Phantom even needed email when they all had Fenton Phones? and even regular phones, nowadays?- but it was just as secure as everything else Tucker made, and as it turned out, it was exactly what he needed this morning.

Better to have it open in the background so he knew when the purple turtle guy got around to emailing him.

Once he made sure he still remembered his password, he pocketed the phone again and pushed himself a little faster. He'd clearly gotten faster since the last time he'd checked- the sonic boom was honestly his first clue- but he couldn't keep that kind of speed up for very long yet, and he was still over…looked like Ohio, now.

Oh, wait, there was a 'welcome to Ohio' sign just up ahead- and he passed it.

Now he was in Ohio.

All that to say, he still couldn't afford to slow down in distraction for very long if he wanted to get to class in a bit more than an hour.

As if waiting for Danny to think exactly that, his phone buzzed.

He tugged it back out to check, and it buzzed again in his hand.

The first notification was a text from Jazz: 'I saw you weren't in your room just now. Fight or flight?'

The second was an email from an alphabootyyyshaker9000@geniusbuilt.com- an email that seemed more like an essay, if the shortened version in the notification meant anything.

Danny grimaced, made sure he was aligned with a highway down below so he wouldn't drift off-course, and tapped out a response for Jazz.

'flight. bookin it rn, p far. tell u later, but im ok'

She responded with an immediate thumbs-up and smiley emoji combo.

"Never change, Jazz," Danny huffed with a grin.

Then he tried to look at the email.

'Tried' being the key word.

Luckily, the purple turtle had prefaced his email with the sentences 'You are welcome to answer this once you have the time. You did mention being in a rush at the moment.'

Relieved, Danny shoved his phone back in his pocket and turned his attention towards his own personal Get-Back-Home 100% Speedrun.

[faeriekit]

Hiya! For your WIP tag game, I’d love to see 1,2 and/or 8! Love me some dp crossover right now 😍

Tall order! Let me see:

(Drake Manor)

“Oh,” Robin greets, a little of his exuberance…muted. Tim pouts. Danny ruins everything. “I didn’t know you were coming, or else I would have brought another gift! Danny, right? How have you been?” 

Danny rolls his eyes, but comes over to the door. In the same way Robin’s dressed down for the holiday, Danny’s dressed up; instead of his usual tee and hoodie combination, he has on a real sweater on over his jeans. For whatever reason, it has little green ghosts knitted into the repeating pattern. 

“You don’t have to bring anything for me. I’m not even Jewish,” Danny points out. “As long as the squirt gets something, I think you win. Welcome back; I hope you like somewhat burnt brisket. I think his mom got a little too enthusiastic with the oven.” 

“Your disrespect is audible and unwelcome!” Mom calls from somewhere else in the house. Tim isn’t exactly sure where. 

Robin’s face does something where he can’t tell if he thinks the scenario is really funny or super weird. “Joining for the holidays?” 

“Beats watching my Mom and Dad get into a no-holds-barred screaming match about whether or not Santa Claus is real or not,” Danny grumbles, peeved. And then, realizing: “Oh, Tim. Jazz says hi.” 

Oh, that’s nice. Tim hasn’t talked to her since she and Mom got into an argument about whether Tim ‘needed’ a therapist or not. Tim isn’t sure why. He’s pretty sure he’s fine.

2. untitled WIP that I genuinely haven't thought of a working name of yet

“Your you,” the kid continued proudly, pleased beyond measure. “I ate your piece!” 

Tim takes a deep breath. The deep breath will not prevent him from losing his shit, but it will help. 

Okay. A very small child ate his spleen. He will be so normal about that. He will be normal about that if it kills him. 

“Can you explain,” Tim asks, in a tone that’s not not the voice of exaggerated patience Janet Drake used to use on investors who crossed her, “Why you ate my spleen?” 

“It mine now! And now no more…no more new people,” the kid continues, wiping his face on Tim’s former blanket cape. It’s probably a self soothing gesture. It mostly looks like the kid is trying to clean his face off, which is gross. “‘Cause…tube babies. No new babies.” 

…And the solution was somehow eating an internal organ, Tim guessed, failing to understand the logic. But. He had some pretty good guesses about Ra’s favor of him meant when tacked onto this new mention of tube babies. Considering that Damian had been a former occupant of an artificial womb, and Ra’s’d had access to Tim’s genetic material…

“What did it taste like?” Tim dared to ask, having run out of other questions to occupy the boy with. 

“Bad!” Danny chirped. 

Great.

3. At the time you asked this I'm pretty sure it was already Superboy instead of Demon!AU? Anyway, here's some future Blister Pack fic:

Conner hums, pleased. “You’d eat more.”

Is he blushing?? Tim better not be blushing. He’s not thinking about—he’s not thinking about how Conner wants him to eat more. How that means Conner’s been thinking about how much Tim eats. It doesn’t mean anything. He’s just…observational. That he pays attention, when they’re huddled up on Tim’s bed working to enable mass data destruction and corporate warfare.

It’s fine!! It’s so normal. They’re friends, even, apparently! Friends do that! Tim should not be blushing.

“If you were a villain?” Conner asks, and it takes a second for Tim to figure out where they were in a line of conversation.

“Oh!” Tim realizes. “Kon didn’t tell you that? I have, like, a whole future evil timeline and everything. There’s a gun, we take over the world—it’s, like, a whole deal. I had to defeat myself to save the wo—you know what? It’s not important. It was just. Bad.”

Conner looks at him. His head tilts, as if he could get a better measure of him if he just changed the angle. “Hm,” is all he says, blue-green eyes focused.

It is not a disapproving hm. If anything, it sounds…

Tim is going to die of blood loss if all of the hemoglobin in his body keeps shifting up into his face. “Anyway!” he cuts the conversation off brightly. Since we’re not planning corporate sabotage anymore, want to try a movie? You, me, some corn nuts?”

Conner nods. The small smile on his face makes Tim’s stomach flip-flop with emotions he is not going to name.

“Sure.”

[queenmina37]

hi!! i found out your bleach x bnha crossover series last night and i DEVOURED it, i had such a great time reading it and it's so funny 😭 i just wanted to say thank you for sharing such a brilliant brainworm that will probably now live in MY brain forever 💜 i know it hasn't been updated in like a year but that won't stop me 😾 and since we're here i figure i'll ask something: how would aizawa react if he found out ichigo has two whole *kids*?

again, Thank You and hope you have a good day 💜

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You're the person who left comments on Ghost Hunters of UA, aren't you?? I'm so glad you liked it!

This is an interesting thing because I could actually swear that I've written something about this? Actually, I just realized that I probably have some parts of the story written... that I haven't posted... because... I don't even know... I remember that I had the very last story for the series written, but I didn't want to post it if the rest of the series was still not finished, but I might actually post it at some point, if I can just remember to do that.

But I could swear I've written something about Aizawa finding out about Kazui and Ichika? It's possible it's one of the group chat chapters that I wrote and then decided not to go through with the idea at all? Yeah, actually, I just found it and it's definitely like that.

I'm not going to put this on ao3 (at least at this time), but since you asked, here you go! Please remember that it was written before the first chapter of Ghost Hunters of UA, so it might not be entirely accurate, for example with what happens in that story, but, yeah, anyways.

Karakura Gang + Stragglers (Group chat name)

God’s Antithesis (Ishida)

Ichigo

God’s Worst Mistake (Ichigo)

Uryuu

God’s Antithesis (Ishida)

[A picture of the living room of the Ishida Residence. Sitting in front of a dark wine red couch and the low table in front of it, on the floor, are two boys around the same age. One of them has wild, spike orange hair that is just slightly smoother than Kurosaki Ichigo’s spiky hair. He’s grinning brightly, his purple eyes alight. He’s wearing a pair of jeans and a baby blue hoodie. The other boy also had orange hair, though of a different, darker shade than the other boy’s. He was beaming. He had dark blue eyes. Both boys were staring right at the camera.]

Why is kazui in my house

Assno (Asano)

asdfghjkl

Reject Universe (Orihime)

Oh!

I didnt know kazui was over!

Dragon (Tatsuki... I think?)

Oh my god what the fuck

Arrancar Translator (Chad...?)

Huh

Queen (Rukia)

Oh my god how is he over there?????

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

omw dont let him leave

God’s Antithesis (Ishida)

Bit late for that

Reject Universe (Orihime)

I just got home and he just ran out (°-°)

Dragon (Tatsuki)

Is he scared of u?

This is like the third time he has done that right?

Reject Universe (Orihime)

Oh no surely not right?

I dont want kazui to be scared of me!!

Queen (Rukia)

He isnt scared orihime I promise

God’s Worst Mistake (Ichigo)

He just gets similar alarms ringing like when rukia smiles when he has done something he shouldnt have done

Also im coming over, see if I can hold him down long enough for renji to drag him back home

Karakura Red (Karin)

Caught the little shit

Bringing him home but ichi-nii should still come keep an eye on him

Me and yuzu have shit to do

God’s Worst Mistake (Ichigo)

omw

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

I will be there in a few hours once these idiots get the senkaimon going

Queen (Rukia)

Might be good

Kazui has been taking it rather hard that ichigo is on such a long mission

A bit of time alone with his dad will do him some good

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

Im sorry

Kurosaki has a son?

Dragon (Tatsuki)

Wait we didnt tell u?

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

No????

Improvised Molotov Cocktails (Mizuiro)

He has a wife and a husband too

Assno (Asano)

Some of us cant find one and he went and got himself two

Arrancar Translator (Chad)

Actually he has two kids

Son and daughter

Reject Universe (Orihime)

Oh but renji is actually ichika’s dad

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

What

Improvised Molotov Cocktails (Mizuiro)

Kazui and ichika are twins

Ichigo is kazui’s dad

Renji is ichika’s dad

Simple

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

In what universe

Dragon (Tatsuki)

Well I mean they have the same mom and are twins so its pretty simple

Must Protect (Yuzu?)

Aww!

[A picture of Ichigo laying down on the couch in the living room of the Kurosaki Residence. He has one hand under his head, while the other is wrapped around Kazui, who is laying between him and the back of the couch, his head on Ichigo’s chest. Both have their eyes closed. Ichigo is in his shinigami uniform.]

They are so cute!

Queen (Rukia)

Is he purring?

Karakura Red (Karin)

Of course hes purring

This is ichi-nii we are talking about

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

I’m sorry

Kurosaki

Purrs?

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

Like an engine yeah

But only when he naps with the kids

They love it

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

??????

How???????

Improvised Molotov Cocktails (Mizuiro)

You havent heard him purr before?

Arrancar Translator (Chad)

He was already doing it in middle school but it escalated in high school

Queen (Rukia)

It escalated even more after he died

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

And then it became exclusive to the kids

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

????????????????????

God’s Antithesis (Ishida)

Wait

What do you mean its exclusive to the kids

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

Its exclusive to the kids?

He only purrs when he wants to nap with the kids?

Queen (Rukia)

It calms kazui down and he falls asleep within seconds

Ichika too but thats because shes been conditioned into it rather than it being natural like with kazui

Why?

Karakura Red (Karin)

He does it with me too tho

Yuzu too

Reject Universe (Orihime)

He did it to uryuu once too!

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

What??????

Karakura Red (Karin)

Urahara said its a hollow thing

Pack thing and all that

Must protect little ones

Hes trying to calm down and put to sleep any younger relatives essentially

Must Protect (Yuzu)

Yeah I hear the visored do the same with him too

But he never does it to them because they are older than him

Karin has done it to me too

Karakura Red (Karin)

Yuzu!!!

Dragon (Tatsuki)

Oh my god

Assno (Asano)

Y r u guys so pure?

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

Im not sure what about having a bloodthirsty cannibal in your head is pure but u do u buddy

Assno (Asano)

Wait no!!!

Panicked into Solutions (Renji)

Also I will be there in another 30 mins

Must Protect (Yuzu)

Stay for tea until they wake up!

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

I

I hate to break this to you people but kurosaki is expected at school tomorrow morning

Karakura Red (Karin)

Thats what shunpo and sonido are for

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

What does that even mean

Improvised Molotov Cocktails (Mizuiro)

He fast

Caterpillar Man (Aizawa)

That explains literally nothing

Queen (Rukia)

It explains literally everything