#anyways who knows if I’ll even complete it idk ask me in a year

[emily-mooon]

I’m currently resisting the urge to chuck the Scott Pilgrim cast into a 70s au, but the 70s fashion Stacey sketch I made is staring me down

[syd-djarin]

private eyes - jack daniels x private investigator!f!reader (18+ MDNI)

this is for @iamasaddie little lady kinky may challenge! congrats on 2.5k! <333 I was paired with Jack / Voyeurism.

tags: voyeurism (reader watches jack), masturbation (m & f), reader is a private investigator, gratuitous descriptions of my fav cowboy stroking his big cock, dub-con a little? reader masturbates in her car but there isn't anyone around so public but private

a/n: this is the first fic I've completed in months. it's short and to the point, idk how i feel about it but it pushed me out of my writing slump! kinda want to do a part 2 for this, what do y'all think 👀

wc: ~1.6k

smut below the cut

 “I want you to catch that son of a bitch in the act.”

The visibly scorned woman, Camilla, sitting across from you asks through tears, ones that she hasn’t allowed to escape down her cheeks; catching them right at the waterline with an overused tissue.

This isn’t the first time a disgruntled, mistreated, or betrayed lover has sought out your services — no shortage of shitty men leaving trails of destruction while they pillage and greedily chase their own interests. She’s no different, seeking closure from the broken-off engagement from her now ex-fiancée, Jack Daniels. The pair had been together for a year, engaged for three months and one day, out of the blue, Jack broke it off. According to her, he didn’t give a concrete reason, something vague about being consumed with his job and that “she deserved a better life than that”. 

Of course you get paid a pretty penny for your work, but you take great pleasure in catching a man in the act. Whether the woman needs proof for divorce settlements, custody battles, or to just have leverage. Whatever the case may be, you find a gratification you don’t get anywhere else; the upheaval of a man trying to have his cake and eat it too. 

The conventionally attractive woman you couldn’t pick out of a line-up slides her homemade dossier across the coffee shop table, tacky & sticky from previous patrons. You flip through the information presented to you, taking mental notes as you go. You can’t deny the heat that rises up your face as you study the picture of your next target. The deep sable eyes resembling a baby calf’s are staring at you through the glossy photo paper. He’s sporting a mustache reminiscent of Burt Reynolds that is calling your name. His smirk is laced with a charming cockiness. 

“He’s quite the looker, I know. Hell of a lay, too,” her words snap you out of your daydream. Her words feel hollow, his looks are the only attributes she’s mentioned during the duration of the consultation. You're not getting paid for moral judgements and you remind yourself you don’t know the whole story. 

“Which is why I want to know who he’s fucking. I know there’s another woman, or maybe even a guy… he’d answer calls in the middle of the night and step into another room and I swear I could hear a woman’s voice on the other end, he’d tell me he’s going on work trips… he works at a whiskey distillery, why the hell does he need to go on all these trips?” She explains, putting air quotes around ‘trips’ with her dainty, well-manicured hands, “he’d stay late at work a few nights a week, and then it turned into a nightly thing… Anyways, you come highly recommended, so I’m trusting you won’t let me down,” she adds. You’re not a fan of the passive aggressive, back-handed compliment she gives you, but ultimately you give her an understanding smile as you both rise from the table. 

“I’ll be in touch,” you tell her, as you exit. As cliche as that line is, you love saying it every time. 

Days of following Jack around have proven to be fruitless. The man has a simple routine: wakes up at six, traipses to the bathroom to begin his morning regimen of a showering, shaving and grooming his beloved mustache, and to conclude,  adorns his body in his tight denim jeans, a crisp button-down, a cowboy hat, and boots to match. You hate to admit it, and someone would have to waterboard this information out of you, but the hat is doing something for him. 

Or you. 

Whatever. 

He shops weekly on Wednesdays (he always puts the cart back inside the store, not the cart returns in the parking lot), takes the same route home everyday, watches Jeopardy while he eats dinner – you caught on quickly that he cooks during Wheel of Fortune, it appears he isn’t a big fan of Pat and Vanna, dishes promptly following Final Jeopardy and bed by nine. In three weeks Jack hasn’t had a single visitor, of any gender, leaves work at five like everyone else, the man isn’t adding up to be a cheating womanizer like Camilla had set him out to be. Not to say that he isn’t, but you’re not finding any evidence to support that claim. You’ve actually found yourself developing a crush on the man. He’s undoubtedly handsome, seemingly laid back despite his strict routine, and there’s something mysterious that lies beneath that you’re itching to unearth.

You’re parked discreetly across the street from his house. It’s a nice quiet street, with only two lamps to illuminate the surrounding neighborhoods, allowing you to stay shrouded in the night. 

You’re about to call it a night, exhaustion settling deep into your bones, when you notice a lamp turned on in the living room. Fortunately, the window faces the street, making your job that much easier for you. You pick up your binoculars to peer in, adjusting the focus for your prying eyes. Thank the universe he left his blinds open. 

He sits on the couch with his back facing you. It looks like he’s reaching for the remote, like maybe he’s having trouble sleeping, but when he settles back into the couch, you notice he’s butt ass naked, in all his glory. Even through the binoculars, you can see how big his cock is. Your mouth salivates at the sight, wanting to feel the stretch of him in all your holes. 

You’re not supposed to see this. Not at all. Usually in your assignments, you don’t get the full X-rated view, just the PG-13 suggestive one, and you are more than grateful for that. 

But not now.

You’re getting your own private peep show from the man you’re getting paid to spy on. You’re feeling like a grade-A pervert right about now but the sight is too glorious to look away. He spits on his hand, and languidly begins stroking his cock. He runs his other hand through his hair, his toned arms flexing with his movements, his chest heaving. 

It shouldn’t turn you on like it does. For one, it’s highly unprofessional. Secondly, he’s unaware he’s got an audience. Morally speaking, it’s definitely not your shining moment. But it’s the hottest thing you’ve ever seen, watching him tease and work himself up. You couldn’t pry your eyes away if you wanted to. 

Jack’s not the only one getting worked up; your clit throbs so hard you feel like it’ll go numb. Your heartbeat echoes in your ears thump-thump thump-thump. You let out a whine when Jack massages his tip, precum dribbling out like a sweet nectar you’d like to feast on. He continues his slow movements, dragging out his pleasure at a delicious and excruciating pace. Somehow, this makes the whole scene that much hotter; the display of restraint and discipline. You wonder if he does that with his lovers. Teasing, teasing, teasing, giving just enough to drive you insane before slowing almost to a stop. 

Possessed by desire, you haphazardly look for any lingering people outside before unbuttoning your pants to shove your hand to where it's needed most. You gasp at the cool air hitting your thinly clothed pussy, you can smell your own arousal seeped into your panties and it spurs you on further. You mirror Jack’s pace - teasing your lips with a featherlight touch, inching closer and closer to your needy clit, stopping just shy of it, to tease yourself more. It’s agonizing in the best way, taking your time like this. Normally, you like efficiency when making yourself come, rarely going the extra mile to turn the pleasure dial up, but this makes you question why you’re ever in a hurry. 

You reach your clit, going in gentle circles to match Jack’s unhurried pace. You wish you could hear the sounds he’s making, all the grunts and whimpers escaping his plush lips. 

He speeds up his strokes, now ravenous for his delayed release and so are you. Overtaken by the need to come, you drop the binoculars, letting them fall to the floorboard. You’re not even watching him anymore, having seen more than enough to commit to your spank bank. With your eyes closed and head pushing into the headrest, your mind is flooded with images of Jack fucking you slow, hard and deep, absolutely destroying your pussy – legs over his shoulders, hitting the spot that makes you scream and cry in euphoria. The image of him spilling into you, filling you up with his come is what tips you over the edge, your body shivers in bliss and you rock against your hand to ride out the high, feeling faint from the intensity. 

After you’ve recovered and fumbled your chance of ever seeing The Pearly Gates, you dare to look back to his house, to find all the lights back off. It’s a bit of a relief, feeling less shameful of what you’ve done now that you can’t see him at the moment. 

You button your pants backup and lean over to retrieve the forgotten binoculars from the floorboard, as your fingers grab them you hear a knock on the window. The sudden rap on the glass makes you flinch, feeling your skeleton attempt to flee from your corporeal body. Your heart drops to your stomach when you see Jack standing outside your car, leaning one forearm against the body so his face is level with yours. Fuck fuck fuck. You’ve been caught. Dizziness and nausea war within you as you roll down the window. You open your mouth to explain the situation, but words never escape your mouth. 

“You like watchin’ people don’t ya?” he asks, his tone is dark, but not angry. No, it’s something else entirely. 

“I–”

“‘S’alright. Caught onto ya pretty quick. A pretty face like yours ain’t hard to miss.”

“I– i’m sorry, um,” you scramble to find words, any words but Jack interjects again. 

“You like watchin’, but darlin’ I want to know, do ya like bein’ watched?”

[letsmyy]

i have a request!!! you should write a daughter of apollo x leo valdez fic but based on espresso by sabrina carpenter (idk i feel like that song gives children of apollo vibes!) it'd be leo obsessed with the apollo girl (like him being absolutely obsessed with her, having the biggest crush on her possible, he constantly thinks about her, him being an absolute loser bf) and finally getting the courage to ask her out on a date or something like that.

“she’s like a shot of espresso…”

leo valdez x duaghter of apollo!reader

warnings: use of yn! english isn’t my first language so it might be some errors!!

thank you so much for your request, it made me so happy!! idk if what i wrote it’s exactly what you want but i hope you like it 🤕 this is my first timing writing a real fic and I think it really shows lol, but i promise I’ll try to improve in the next one, I’m so sorry if it’s that bad, and this is really short too? omg im really bad at this lol, but anyways, ly anon tell me your opinions (honestly) abt this later, kisses to uuu!! 🫶💗 (btw anon, please request other things I feel like I didn’t did you justice with this one)

words: 850

“is it that sweet? I guess so…..”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ - ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Leo was sure he was going crazy.

He always had a pretty big amount of silly crushes on girls, but with you? It was getting way too serious. Of course, you're beautiful, incredibly kind, and too generous for your own good, and you treated him well, but that isn't enough reason to make him lose sleep; at least that's what he thought.

And he was extremely wrong. Being in your presence was the equivalent of being bathed in the sunlight, and gods, he felt like a prisoner who hadn't seen the sun in years.

He's completely obsessed with you; he just needs the courage to verbalize that, but being honest, Leo felt like a coward at the moment.

While being lost in his thoughts (the thoughts being the pretty daughter of Apollo that never leaves his mind), the boy finally falls asleep.

Leo doesn't mind waking up if that means spending the day with the people he loves, so after getting ready for the day, he searches for you.

And he found you, talking with a much younger camper, helping him. You're smiling like it's the best day of your life, and Leo could swear that you're almost glowing.

The boy makes its way to you the same moment you finish talking to the kid, now having your full attention on Hephaestus' son.

"Leo! Good morning!" Your voice to him had the same effect as listening to his favorite music, it made him happy in ways he couldn't explain, even if his life depended on it. 

"Yn! Good morning!" He mimics you, not in a bad way, just a teasing one. You roll your eyes in fake annoyance.

"Sooo, did you sleep well, Valdez?" You ask, seeming really interested in the answer, but he knows that you're like that for everything, being extremely kind.

"Not really, would be better if I dreamed about you," you laugh amusingly.

"You say that every day, y'know?"

"I know, I say because it's true. " You can't help but blush a little. You're used to Leo flirting with you, but it never gets past that, so you just learned to joke back.

"Hilarious, Valdez... fortunately, I slept very well today, and I'm more excited than normal! I think it's because it's so sunny today, that's awesome, was thinking about going to the lake later. I can't waste such a pretty day like this one painting inside my cabin..."

"Unfortunately, I'll be in the bunker today, I have lots of things to do."

"What? No! You're coming with me, you can't waste this wonderful day either!" You grab his hands, walking toward the lake.

Leo could swear he would pass out at that moment. He couldn't even think about denying your offer, he would prefer dying to doing that.

After a few seconds, you guys get to the lake.

"Look how pretty it is! You have to go swimming with me, it’s a need.”

"Look, sunshine, water and fire don't get along so well, so I might skip that one" he says, apologetic. You frown, thinking.

"We don't need to go swimming, we can just talk, i really don't care." You smile lovingly at him.

"I don't want to ruin your day! There are many people that can go with you, you'll find someone better to do that." He's so oblivious that it's getting concerning.

"I want to spend time with you, Valdez. I don't mind if it's swimming or just talking, I want to, you know..be with you."

"Oh." He's acting like a loser, he can't think straight anymore and is blushing like crazy, but who cares?

"Oh?" You tease him, smiling.

"Yeah, we can. Just talk, I'm happy with that. " His smile was so genuine that made your heart melt.

That's when you realize you're still holding his hand, and you don't want to change that. You can feel he notices too.

Something just snapped in his head, now it’s the time, now or never, right?

"Yn? Can I tell you something?" He says it in a quiet tone, and you just nod.

"When I'm around you, it's like constantly drinking a shot of espresso, it's like being bathed in sunlight, you're incredibly energetic and enthusiastic, and i just can't get enough of you, you're my sunrise and daylight....all I'm saying is, gods, I very much love you more than just friends" You're surprised, really surprised, so surprised that you can't even speak for a moment, which just makes Leo even more nervous.

"Please say something...like, anything, a no it's better than silence because it’s less-“ Before he yaps again, you interrupt him:

"I like you too." The boy almost squeals of pure excitement.

"Seriously? Oh gods, oh gods. What?" He's so happy, it's so sincere, so soft, it's amazing, you can feel your heart beating so fast, and you don't even care; seeing him like this because of you is the best feeling you ever felt.

Then you see that one look, meant just for you, it's like time has frozen, and you're both thinking the same thing. Then, like all the stars aligned, you kissed him

[cloudbersoo]

would you mind?｜zhang hao

synopsis: how to get over a guy you didn’t even date in ten easy steps with the help of zhang hao.

tags: zhang hao x gn!reader, acquaintances to lovers, university au, fluff, slight angst, y/n likes someone else at the beginning, y/n is very drunk, making out when drunk, shy!hao, bestie!matthew has no filter, roommate!taerae, hanbin keeps laughing, what did jiwoong do though? y/n overthinks a little sometimes, mentions of sex and implied sex but no explicit smut! (im a minor and can’t write smut for the life of me)

word count: 6k (how did this get so long?)

a/n: this is my first fic in like six years and the first in english altogether! idk how to feel about this one but i thought to post it anyway. writing this honestly made me respect fanfic writers so much more, it really isn’t easy! this took me like five days to make. not sure how often i’ll be doing this but i enjoyed writing a lot. sorry for any grammar errors or such, i proofread this a couple of times, but my english isn’t perfect, so some mistakes might go past me. anyway, thanks and sorry! enjoy reading!

my playlist while writing: in bloom & new kidz on the block by zb1, cream soda & private party by exo, roller coaster & party o’clock by nmixx !!

i. drink your feelings away

“finally you’re here” matthew mumbled in his slightly drunken stage, leaning onto a wall as you closed the door behind you. you could hear the music and people’s chatter coming from the living room. the smell of alcohol was also very strong, especially on your friend. you wished you could just turn back and go home. you were way too miserable to party right now but the sweet smile matthew was giving you was making you stay. you couldn’t possibly disappoint your best friend on his special day.

“yeah, sorry for being late” you finally answered to the birthday boy as you handed out your gift with a forced smile. “happy birthday matt.” 

he took the bottle of wine and chuckled. “thank you y/n” he said, looking at the bottle of his favourite. “for this and for coming tonight” he continued as he raised his gaze to you apologetically. 

“of course” you uttered, trying your best to convince your friend you wanted to be here, as if you didn’t just think about leaving two seconds ago. your convincing didn’t seem to be working as matthew sighed. matthew put down the bottle and walked in front of you. he examined your face for a while before he embraced you in a hug. “he didn’t deserve you anyway” he whispered close to your ear.

right.

jaemin.

the guy who broke your heart just a few days ago. he didn’t mean to, you suppose. he just didn’t realise you were totally in love with him when he introduced you to his partner of three years. how stupid could you be?

you held your tiers in at the mention of him. not today. you can cry about it later. 

you embraced your friend for a while as you collected yourself. “you know what matt?” You finally spoke as you made eye contact with him. matthew hummed, looking at you with anticipation. 

“i’m going to have fun tonight.”

ii. embarrass yourself

about five bottles of soju and a couple beers later you were completely out of it. you were somewhere in matthew’s apartment, kitchen or living room, you were not entirely sure. laying on the cold floor with zero thoughts of your shattered heart. you felt at peace. your peace, however, didn’t last long as it was eventually broken by a familiar voice calling your name. 

“y/n? you okay down there?” the voice asked with amusement. you opened your eyes and were met with hanbin’s gaze from above you. he must have found your state hilarious as he bursted out laughing. 

you got up from the floor with difficulty and flopped next to him on the couch. “never been better” you mumbled to your friend with a relaxed smile. you started making yourself comfortable and leaned your head on hanbin’s shoulder. what you failed to notice in your drunken state was the other person sitting on the couch. the one you were currently cuddling up to.

“hao” your friend started. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen y/n so wasted” hanbin laughed with tears in his eyes. 

what. 

suddenly, you were too aware of your surroundings, like there was no alcohol in your system anymore. you quickly got up and saw that hanbin was not in fact the person you had leaned into. the person sitting next to you was hanbin’s good friend, zhang hao. the boy’s face flushed as he looked at your shocked face.

oh my god.

you were not that familiar with zhang hao. you knew he was good friends with hanbin and matthew. he was from the music department just like your roommate taerae, and you were pretty sure he played the violin. he was reserved and quiet, and definitely not the most fond of you (even though your friends have tried to convince you otherwise). a friend of a friend. that’s what he was. not someone who you could comfortably cuddle with. this is so embarrassing.

“i’m so sorry!” you quickly blurted out as you hid your face behind your palms. you could still hear hanbin’s laugh as you were thinking about your way out of the situation. 

“it’s o-okay” zhang hao managed to stutter. you were in too deep thought to hear what the boy in front of you was saying. you searched for your other friend in the crowd. it’s time for me to leave. as you found matthew by the balcony with a girl, you turned back to the men on the couch. “i’m just gonna go!” you quickly said to prevent any more embarrassment and made your way to your best friend.

he saw you coming from afar and smirked at you. “you’ve definitely enjoyed yourself” matthew said delightfully. oh. he definitely saw everything.

“you saw nothing” you bit back and leaned onto your friend as the alcohol started to kick back in again. “i’m going home” you continued. could you even walk straight? no. but you could just call your roommate to meet you halfway.

“in this state? no you’re not” the boy slurred just as drunk as you were. he wrapped his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep you from leaving. you were glad your friend cared about your safety even when he was drunk. his company, however, was not enjoying the sight in front of her and you could tell you had interrupted something. 

“i’ll call taerae to pick me up, don’t worry.” you assured your friend. “i’ll leave you two alone now.” you gave a smile to the girl and mouthed “sorry” as you left the two before matthew could protest any further.

iii. make a foolish choice

walking down four sets of stairs with your hands occupied by your phone was a challenge. you somehow made it though and were trying to contact your roommate. he was not answering. where is he? your apartment wasn’t that far from matthew’s but the darkness was creeping you out a little. you sent a quick text to taerae, saying you were coming home before you started your journey. 

you had made it past a couple turns when you started feeling like someone was following you. you’re just being paranoid, that's all. but the feeling only grew stronger as you clearly heard footsteps behind you. you were already walking as fast as you could in your state. is this the end?  “i’m gonna die-”

“y/n,” you quickly turned around to the familiar voice. 

zhang hao.

“oh it’s just you” you said as you relaxed until it hit you. zhang hao. the reason why you had run away from the party in the first place. your surprise finally showed on your face, which zhang hao found amusing. 

"sorry if I scared you” he let out an airy laugh while awkwardly standing in front of you. for some reason you had never really looked at the boy. he was tall and his hair was still styled nicely even after a long day. he was wearing a light blue button up shirt with black jeans that seemed way out of your price range. there was something about the way he was looking at you under the glow of the streetlights. he was looking at you with stars in his eyes, like there was no one else but the two of you in the world. the sight of him almost made your heart skip a beat. he had a few moles on his face, one right under his eye and another on his cheek that you wish you could kiss right now. has he always been this pretty? 

no. why is he here? 

he tried to give you a reassuring smile as he took a step closer. “you shouldn’t walk alone at this hour, it’s not safe for you.” he continued like he had just read your mind.

“so you think I'm safe with you?” you asked, slightly teasing. it was definitely the alcohol speaking.

the boy’s eyes widened in shock and he opened his mouth to say something but failed. “well- I mean” zhang hao finally responded with panic, not quite sure what he was supposed to say. you couldn’t hold your giggles which seemed to ease his nerves. his figure seemed to relax as he walked past you. “my apartment isn’t that far from yours, so we can just walk together. it’s safer for both of us.” zhang hao finished. 

lies. you’ve once picked hanbin up from his apartment and it's nowhere near yours. however, zhang hao didn’t need to know that you knew. you wouldn’t mind walking home with him even if the two of you weren’t that close, because he was right – this was safer (not because he suddenly made you think of things you haven't before).

so, the two of you continued walking towards your place. zhang hao didn’t say much as you walked, only telling you to be more careful as you almost stumbled to the ground. he also decided to hold you up from your waist from that point on – which you definitely didn’t mind. he didn’t seem to mind either as there was no signs of annoyance that you would’ve except from zhang hao in this situation.  

“we’re here” he said as the two of you stood in front of your apartment building. you really didn’t want him to go. you really didn’t want to be alone at all. because you knew the moment you were alone again you’d break down again and cry about the guy who broke your heart. just for this one night, you wished not to cry yourself to sleep. maybe it was foolish of you to ask zhang hao of all people to comfort you, but right now you couldn’t think of anything else. 

“would you like to come in?”

“do you need help to get to your door?”

you both had talked at the same time. you broke eye contact as the two of you chuckled. so he didn’t want to leave yet either? as it got quiet again you decided to look at the boy again. zhang hao seemed hesitant as he studied your face. then he smiled at you as he said “if that’s what you need.”

iv. get cockbocked by a roommate

some might find the silence between you and zhang hao awkward, but you found it soothing. he was drinking the water you had given him as you sat on the kitchen counter. he looked even more handsome up close. the way he was leaning onto the counter and the way he was looking at you. oh, how much you wished to make him yours tonight. would he mind? 

your mind stopped wandering as the boy put down his glass on the sink. “i should probably go and let you sleep” he said quietly as he stood in front of you. he was incredibly close to you, his hand on your knee, his nose almost touching yours – like he didn’t want to leave. you couldn’t help but lower your gaze to his lips. they were pink and puffy, slightly wet like they were waiting to be kissed. you looked back to zhang hao’s eyes but they didn’t meet yours. he was doing the same thing – staring at your lips. 

maybe you were going to regret it. maybe this wasn’t right, kissing your friends’ friend. but you couldn’t possibly think about any of that as you leaned in. 

his lips felt as soft as they looked. it took a moment for zhang hao to realise what was happening but eventually he kissed you back. his left hand landed on your cheek as his right hand went up your thigh. the kiss deepened as you put your hands around the boy's neck, pulling him closer to you. you don’t remember the last time you have been kissed like this. he was driving you insane and you wished he’d never stop. 

“y/n?” you hear a voice say at the door. 

taerae.

you and zhang hao froze before you rapidly let go of each other. sleepy taerae rubbed his eyes walking into the kitchen as you tried to calm your beating heart. so he didn’t answer because he was asleep. you took a look at zhang hao who’s blush was prominent even in the dark. “when did you get home?” your roommate asked as he yawned.

“zhang hao walked me, i was just giving him some water before he left.” you blurted out an excuse, which wasn’t inherently a lie – taerae didn’t need to know what happened after that. your sleepy roommate didn’t look suspicious and seemed to buy it. “he was actually just about to leave.” you took another look at zhang hao, trying to get him to say something. 

“yeah, i’ll just get going then.” he said, bid taerae goodbye, and was out of the apartment in mere minutes. 

fuck.

v. overthink your life choices

lunch used to be your favourite time of the day, mostly because you used to share it with jaemin all the time. matthew barely ever had time to eat lunch with you, which is how you got to know jaemin in the first place. the two of you clicked instantly and you thought there was something between you. how wrong you were. the past week you have been distancing yourself from jaemin and he hasn't been asking after you. you really meant nothing to him in the end. even now he’s just a few tables away loudly debating about something with his group of friends, completely unaware of the effect he has had on you.

taerae’s giggles seem to wake you from your slumber. you moved your gaze from jaemin to your roommate. he was laughing over a video hanbin had just shown him. “what is jiwoong doing?” he managed to say between giggles. 

“speaking of the devil” hanbin said as he waved past your shoulder. jiwoong walked to your table with zhang hao next to him, which was odd as the two of you’ve had a similar relationship with the chinese boy up until a few days ago (unless jiwoong had also been making out with him recently). “what did i do?” jiwoong questioned his friends as he placed his lunch on the table.

“nothing, nothing. where’s matthew?” hanbin said as he hid his phone with a grin.

“he’s on a date” you said nonchalantly. everyone at the table suddenly turned their heads towards you. they had totally forgotten you were even there as you had spent most of your break staring at a certain someone. you should get your shit together.

“oh right, zhang hao! thanks for walking y/n home the other night.” taerae said as zhang hao sat next to hanbin. well shit. you hadn’t told anyone of what had happened with zhang hao after matthew’s party. you hadn’t even talked to zhang hao since then. you felt awful that you had tried to use him to forget about someone else, and then kicked him out as your roommate found the two of you. you weren’t sure how you were supposed to even bring it up to him when you were never alone with him anyway. 

“you walked her home?” hanbin questioned as he turned his head to his left where zhang hao was sitting. the boy only gave his friend a small nod as he dug into his food. his aura seemed so different in the daylight. his hair wasn’t styled like at the party, it was a bit all over the place. the way he stuffed his mouth full of food made him look cute. his cheeks were slightly pink with blush. while observing the boy, you had completely missed the teasing smile on hanbin’s face.

how were you supposed to talk to him? thanks for walking me home and making out with me in my kitchen. does he even want to talk about it? the two of you had seen each other around campus a couple times since then and he hasn't tried to talk to you once. maybe all of it was just a spur of the moment thing for him that he now wished to forget about.

you sighed as you decided it was your time to leave for class. there was no way you were going to talk to zhang hao now anyway, not in front of all your friends. “my lecture is starting soon, i’ll go now.” you said as you stood up. taking your things with you and hearing people say their goodbyes, you were on your way.

“wait, are we just going to ignore the fact that matthew is on a date?” you could hear jiwoong ask behind you.

vi. get help

“so…” matthew said in a teasing tone as he sat across from you at the library. 

“so, what?” you questioned, like you had no idea what your best friend was referring to. well, in your defence, you never knew with matthew, but you had a feeling this conversation topic started with a z and ended with hang hao. “you and hao?” he continued, just like you had anticipated, raising his eyebrows. 

“what about me and zhang hao?” you continued, acting clueless in the hopes of him dropping the conversation. 

“after what i saw at my birthday party and then hearing he walked you home, i hoped the two of you worked out the weird tension between you two and finally fucked” your friend blurted out in a very matthew way, like it was the most obvious conclusion to come to in the world. 

“we did not!” you raised your voice a little too much as you tried to defend yourself. you got a few judging stares from the people around you who were trying to study. something you were supposed to do as well, instead of having this conversation about zhang hao. “we didn’t fuck…” you continued more quietly. there was no reason for you to lie to your best friend. not when you could use his help.

“but you were going to?” he gave you a knowing look.

“well yeah, but then taerae woke up and i panicked and i kinda kicked zhang hao out-” you started rambling. wait. “how did you know we almost fucked? did he talk to you? what did he say? does he totally hate me now?” you continued like you were going to lose your mind. and now matthew was laughing at you, trying his best to stay quiet. 

“i haven’t talked to anyone, except hanbin, he’s just as convinced there’s something going on between you and hao as i am” your friend finally spoke. if only you knew what was going on between the two of you. you sighed and hit your head on the table. “what’s the problem y/n? you know, you could just text him and ask him" matthew said.

“i don’t have his number” you mumble in despair. 

“what? how can you not have his number?” matthew asked, confused.

“why would i? was i supposed to ask for it when we were making out or something?” you said as you lifted your head from the table, looking at your friend who definitely didn’t need to hear any more details of that night.

matthew took his phone out of his pocket, and gave it to you after a moment. “here, take his number and text him”

vii. become friends

you were currently sitting down at a park you had agreed to meet with zhang hao. matthew was able to convince you it was better to sort things out with zhang hao sooner than later. but now that you were here, waiting for the guy, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. it was warm as summer was finally coming and you felt like you were sweating buckets. was it the weather or your nerves – you were not quite sure.

“hi, did you have to wait long?” you hear a familiar voice from your left and see zhang hao’s figure coming towards you. he waved at you while giving you a sweet smile. damn. he’s so pretty. 

“oh no, not at all” you answered, trying to give the boy a smile to hide your nervousness. 

“what did you want to talk about?” zhang hao said calmly as he sat down next to you. unlike the other night, now he had left much space between the two of you. he didn’t seem nervous at all, which made you feel uneasy. maybe this wasn’t as big of a deal for him as it was for you. 

“at matt’s party, i’m sorry for being such a mess and dragging you into it” you decided to tell him. “i had a few too many drinks that night.” you took a look at zhang hao. he seemed surprised, maybe a little hurt as he tried to get comfortable on the bench. was that not the right thing to say?  “i mean, i probably made you uncomfortable and then i rushed you out of my place when taerae woke up, it was super rude of me to-” you were starting to ramble. 

“i wasn’t uncomfortable” he cut you off. he finally turned to look at you again “i wouldn’t have come in if i was.” there was the look again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. he was looking at you like he did under the streetlights, like you were the only person in the world that mattered. you wouldn’t mind getting lost in his eyes. “so don’t be too sorry, i enjoyed it as long as it lasted.” he gave you a shy smile.

oh.

this was the first time the boy had made you blush, usually it was the other way around. you broke eye contact to hide your shyness from him. “cool, cool” you started quite awkwardly. “we should probably be casual about all this, since we're friends and all…”

“we’re friends now? i’m cool with that” zhang hao replied with amusement.

“i mean, we’ve known each other long enough to call us that, i guess” you tried to reason, not realising your friend was only teasing you. as you turned your gaze back to him you saw him still smiling at you. this man will be the death of me. “well that’s that. sorry i can’t stay longer, i have places to be. bye zhang hao.” you said as you got up from the bench. you had nowhere to be, but you couldn’t possibly handle being in zhang hao’s presence any longer. 

“bye friend!” he yelled after you still with a teasing tone.

viii. feel nothing

you and your new friend zhang hao have gotten along well since your talk at the park. nothing has changed that much, except now you greet each other at campus, engage in conversation together, and sometimes share memes with each other. you have tried to convince matthew that you and zhang hao are really just friends and nothing more. matthew just can’t help himself when he teases you with kissy noises every time you interact with zhang hao. he’s the only other person that knows about your little secret. even hanbin doesn’t know, because if he did — everyone would. 

you were finally finished with your last class of the day, walking out of your department building. you felt at ease as everything in your life was finally going well. you were able to sort things out with zhang hao, you weren’t particularly struggling with any classes, and you were barely thinking about him, who shall not be named. 

as if on cue, there he was standing a few meters away from you. jaemin. he wasn’t alone though, as he was having a conversation with someone. you couldn’t quite tell what the two were talking about, not that really even mattered to you. contrary to popular belief, your heart no longer ached at the sight of him. you continued your journey with no intent to interact with jaemin, at least not until you realised who exactly he was talking with. when you were close enough you could recognize the other man’s voice.

what was zhang hao doing with jaemin? the sight in front of you felt really odd, but you couldn’t possibly look away. zhang hao almost towered over jaemin, paying attention to what the latter was talking about. he was wearing glasses that complimented his face well. one of his sleeves was rolled up revealing his toned arm. he looked so mesmerising, you couldn't help but stare.

it didn’t take long for you to be caught staring as jaemin called out your name. “wow it’s been so long. how have you been?” he asked happily as you took a few steps closer to the two. zhang hao was surprised to see you, his gaze moving between you and jaemin. his face filled with worry made you think he must have heard about jaemin and you from someone (definitely not from hanbin). you gave zhang hao a reassuring smile as you greeted jaemin, who was ready to embrace you in a hug. 

“i’ve been well” you sounded a little awkward as the two of you let go. an act that used to make your heart do backflips no longer felt like anything. “what were you two talking about? i didn’t know you even knew each other.” you asked out of curiosity as you stood next to zhang hao, who suddenly put his arm around your shoulder. you turned your head towards your friend, trying to understand what he was up to. 

“we’ve shared a few classes here and there” zhang hao said as he turned his head to face you. he was so close to you again, making your heart beat louder on your chest. “you’re ready to go?” he continued. you could only show your confusion on your face as you didn’t trust your voice to say anything at the close proximity. “dinner? remember?” he gave you a wink.

what? you were completely lost. what was this man talking about? 

“oooh, date night?” jaemin cooed in front of you. he took his headphones out of his back and put them over his ears. “i won't waste your time anymore then. y/n we should totally catch up sometime!” he didn’t wait for your response before he left. 

you and zhang hao stayed close to each other in silence for a while. you wondered if he could hear the way your heart was beating for him. you tried to look for answers from his face but to no avail. finally, zhang hao moved and removed his hand off of you, what had felt like way too soon. “sorry” he said as he stood in front of you. “you must have felt awkward seeing him” he continued, scratching the back of his neck. 

“did you do all that to get rid of him? i’m fine, i don’t like him like that anymore” you felt the need to clarify to him.

“oh” he said, blush breaking to his face and neck. “well, i was getting tired of him anyway” he excused and removed his gaze from you to hide his embarrassment. you thought he looked the cutest whenever he got shy or embarrassed. 

your laugh seemed to peak his interest again, as he turned his gaze back on you. your blushing face, matching his own. a comfortable silence fell between you again. ”just friends huh?” you could hear matthew’s teasing voice in your head.

“y/n?” zhang hao eventually spoke. you hummed as a response, waiting him to carry on. “have you eaten yet?” the boy continued hesitantly. 

“no, not yet” you answered truthfully, not quite sure where the conversation was going. zhang hao stayed quiet for a while. he was nervously shifting on his place, turning his face away from you once again. he was trying to find the right way to ask you.

“would you like to go out for dinner then?” he asked carefully. 

“sure!” you answered enthusiastically. you were starving at this point and wouldn’t mind spending some time with friends as well. “who else is coming?” 

“well, i thought it could be just us…” the boy responded, still not daring to look at you. 

oh.

“oh! that works too. sure. yeah.” you replied, definitely not embarrassed that you didn’t get the hint right away. “does indian sound good to you? i’m craving butter chicken” you continued, trying to move the conversation onwards, while your heart kept beating hard against your chest. 

“if that’s what you want, it’s good with me” zhang hao said and the two of you started your way out of campus, both a blushing mess.

ix. feel everything

you were not entirely sure what to think. had you just been on a date? zhang hao didn’t explicitly call it that, but it surely had felt like one. the dinner went smoothly, it didn’t feel awkward and the two of you were able to talk to each other comfortably. he constantly smiled at you and asked you questions about your life, putting the effort into getting to know you. he even insisted on paying for your meal in the end. 

you got to know things about him as well, as zhang hao no longer felt shy talking to you. he’s an only child and very close with his mom. he chose to play the violin, because it’s much easier to carry around compared to a cello. him and jiwoong have gotten closer lately because jiwoong had asked him to help him with a song he has been working on. he also revealed that he was glad that the two of you have gotten closer, which made you question things even more.

you were walking to your apartment in silence, completely sober this time. zhang hao had insisted on walking you home again, “as a man should” he had said. the way his hand was accidentally brushing against yours every once in a while was giving you butterflies in your stomach. you were not entirely sure if the man next to you even realises how much of an effect he had on you. you weren’t walking that fast because you really didn’t want the night to end. 

must to your dismay, you ended up in front of your apartment building. it felt like deja vu, standing in front of him again. you didn’t want zhang hao to leave, but you weren’t sure if it was appropriate to invite him in. you couldn't hide behind the confidence alcohol had given you last time. you didn't know what to say, so you settled on just staring at his face, completely mesmerised. he was doing the same, his gaze wandering on your face, like he was trying to remember each little detail of you. 

“i should…” zhang hao started, now looking straight into your eyes. “i should probably go now” he continued, not at all convincing. he made no effort to move, which finally gave you the confidence to talk. it won’t hurt to ask, right?

“i could offer you a glass of water before you go” you said, tearing your gaze away, still slightly scared of what he might answer. “you know, taerae’s not home tonight…” you added. as you heard no answer from the boy, you hesitantly took a look at him. he was smiling at you again, the way he had been all dinner. 

zhang hao took a step closer, raising his hand to hold your chin, making you hold eye contact with him. he lowered his gaze slowly to your lips, looking at you like you were someone to be desired. “you sure?” he finally spoke in a lower voice, still staring at your lips. you could only hum in response. and then he leaned in to kiss you. 

his lips were soft, but he pushed them hard against yours. he tasted like cherries as you kissed him back. the kiss deepened quickly as his tongue pushed past your lips. his arms lowered to your hips, pulling you closer, as you put yours behind his neck, playing with his hair. you didn’t stop until you both were almost running out of air.

zhang hao let out an airy laugh. “i’ve wanted to do that for a while” he confessed, your arms still tangled around each other. he was looking at you with so much adoration.

“yeah? me too” you smiled, your cheeks slightly pink. you let go of the boy to open the door to your apartment building. he held onto your arm as the two of you walked towards the elevator. you turned to look at zhang hao, who’s cheeks were a shade of pink as well. he noticed you staring and gave you another sweet smile. the door finally opened, and he couldn’t even wait till you got to your apartment, as he stole another kiss from you as you entered the elevator.

“i honestly thought you didn’t like me at all” you admitted to him as you parted from the kiss.

“that’s what hanbin always told me” zhang hao answered, now with a pout on his lips. “i was just too shy to talk to you, you’re like the most gorgeous person i’ve ever laid my eyes on” he continued, no longer daring to look you in the eye. even he seemed a little surprised by his sudden confession. 

oh. 

you’ve received compliments before, but hearing one from zhang hao felt different. your cheeks heated up again, and you could feel your excitement all the way down on your stomach. you wanted him so badly, you could only wish he felt the same way. when the elevator stopped, you decided to quickly peck the boy's cheek before you dragged him to your apartment.

once the door to your apartment closed behind you, you were all over each other. his lips connected with yours as your arms roamed all over your bodies. you couldn’t get enough of him, wanting him even closer to you. you stumbled over to your bedroom, where you gave him one more kiss before backing away.

zhang hao looked at you with concern. “are you okay?” he asked while still holding you closely.

“yeah, i just- i want to make sure you want this as much i do” you answered, studying his face for any signs of regret or hesitation. 

“i really like you y/n, and i want this more than you think” he admitted. he detached one of his hands from you to remove his glasses out of the way, putting them down to your nightstand. he lowered his hand on your cheek, cherishing it gently. “let me show you just how much you mean to me.”

so you let him, as you kissed him again.

x. fall in love

you were still out of breath as you cuddled up to zhang hao’s bare body. he wrapped his hand around you and squeezed you closer to him, twirling your hair with his fingers. you laid your head against his chest, drawing circles on his toned body, sighing with content. you felt zhang hao’s lips against your forehead, giving you a peck after peck. the act made you giggle, turning your gaze to him.

“what?” you asked.

“nothing, i’m just really happy” he answered, giving you one more kiss on your lips. he looked at you with so much love and warmth, which made you feel like you were dreaming. you couldn’t help but wonder what made you deserve to meet someone like zhang hao. no one has made you feel this good in such a long time, if ever. suddenly, very overwhelmed with your feelings, you hid your face on the crook of his neck.

you felt zhang hao’s chest vibrate from the laughter he let out. “cute” he whispered quietly, mostly to just himself, cherishing your head again. you got comfortable again, almost falling asleep in his embrace. his breath also evening out as he was slowly drifting away to sleep too.

“i really like you too, zhang hao” you sleepily mumbled against his skin, before the two of you fell into dreamland together.

- end

bonus:

“why do you always call me zhang hao?”

“maybe because it’s your name??”

“yes, but everyone calls me hao. you’re the only one who calls me zhang hao”

“oh”

“well, hao, i’ll call you that from now on”

the boy’s face flushed red as he finally heard you say his name. 

“oh my god, you’re so cute!” 

he turns his face to hide his blush from you.

“shut up”

[gretavanlace]

Purple Haze

Josh Kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, unprotected sex, use of marijuana, language, dirty talk, praise, degradation, sliiiiight dom/sub if you squint and turn your head just right. Idk, you guys know me by now

This goes out to my anon who asked for smoked up, lazy, dirty sex with josh, about a million years ago. I’ve lost your ask, but I hope you know I loved and appreciated your request, and I apologize for the long, long wait.

“Stop staring at me.” you run the tip of your tongue along the blunt you’ve just completed, purposely avoiding Josh’s gaze.

He sits at the opposite end of the couch, eyes boring a heated hole through you. “Can’t help it.” Out of the corner of your eye, you watch him curl his legs, twisting them beneath him, rendering himself even tinier than usual. “You look sexy when you roll.”

You hand him the blunt and a lighter - the green hit is his favorite. “You only think that because you can’t roll for shit.”

“Never needed to, Jake was always around to do it for me, and now I have a pretty girl to do my bidding.” He sounds pleased with himself, so naturally, you feel like knocking him down a peg.

“And you’re just okay with being a pillow princess? Happy to sit back while I do all the work?”

“Delighted.” he winks around a long, lazy hit. “This one’s a little too tight, though. You losing your touch?”

The perverted old man quip comes to you so quickly you consider getting up to check the mail for your honorary penis. “Thought you liked tight, Josh?”

“Oh my god,” he groans, passing to you after hitting it twice like a mannerless savage. “That was bad, babe. Like, Samuel level bad. We gotta work on your material.”

You smoke and pass back and forth in comfortable silence for a while until, as usual, he feels the need to fill it. “Wanna walk down to the store for weird snacks? I’ll hold your hand and pretend I like you.”

This is a favorite little game of his. Find a store and search out the strangest snacks you can find. The first time you’d played with him, he’d given you the most disappointed look you’ve ever seen grace his beautiful features when, with a smirk, you’d presented him with a cylinder of Pumpkin Pie Spice Pringles. “I said weird, love,” he’d frowned, tucking them onto a random shelf behind you. “Not disgusting.”

“No,” you sigh, crawling across the couch cushions until you can curl up like a cat with your head in his lap. “I don’t feel like going anywhere.”

“Okay,” he runs his thumb over your mouth. “Bad lip reading?”

Another of his favorites…throw on an old movie or cheesy sitcom, mute the volume, and make up your own dialogue. He is the reigning champion…mainly because his thoughts are completely unhinged at all times anyway.

You shake your head in his lap, just to feel the soft weight of his cock nudge against your temple. “You always win.”

“Sore loser, are we?” He teases softly, lifting his hips closer to you subtly.

“I’m high.” Your voice is slow and lazy…a fuzzy breath undulating along just like the haze of smoke that plays above your heads.

“Wasn’t that kind of the point?” His voice sounds just as faraway. Bluesy and thick.

Turning your face inward, you shamelessly nuzzle against his dick again through his sweats. Dragging your tongue along the length of it before bestowing a gentle bite into the girth of it. He sucks in a hiss of an inhale through those perfect teeth of his and then releases it shakily. “Watch it, baby.”

“I think you liked it.” You challenge, just before lightly biting once more. He’s harder now, and the moan you draw from his chest makes your thighs both press together and ache to spread apart.

“You want that?” His tone is guiding you down a familiar path…he’s switched on now, and you are positively alight with excitement.

“Yes.” You nod up at him with your sweetest fuck me eyes.

“Where? You want this pretty mouth all nice and full?” His thumb tugs at your bottom lip, “Or would you like to be nice and full somewhere else?

“I wanna sit on your lap.” the words drift out of you with a wandering curl of a smoky exhale as you pass the blunt back to him.

He takes it, fills his lungs and then rasps around the hit he’s still holding in. “On my lap or on my cock?”

Leaning forward, he brings his mouth to yours and gently breathes the smoke into your mouth. You accept the shared hit with lust and longing pulsing through your body hard and fast.

“So romantic, Joshua.” You tease, unable to summon much of a bullying tone…you almost sound serious, and maybe you are. No one else gets to sit on his cock, who’s to say what romance is? Shouldn’t it be in the eye of the beholder? Like beauty? Surely the universe holds millions of unique instances of love that…

Oh no, when you start thinking like Josh, you know you’re cashed. To that end, when he moves to pass to you, you shake your head and fumble up to straddle him while he leans over the arm of the couch to stub it out in a tiny clay ashtray he crafted in art class his freshman year of high school.

“Told the teacher it was a jewelry dish for my sister’s birthday so it wouldn’t be confiscated.” He likes to remind you proudly. As if his teacher actually bought his bullshit.

“Hi, cookie.” He smiles, red eyes heavy and slow as they drink you in.

“Cookie?” You laugh, rocking slowly down against him…the warmth of his cock leading you toward drowsiness, like slipping into a bath filled with fragrant, iridescent, bubbles.

“Yeah, you look good. Tempting. Plus, you taste very sweet.” He shrugs, “Also, I’m high as hell and thinking about food. We should’ve done the grocery store thing.”

“Okay,” your hips are rolling with rhythm now, his fingers gripping deliciously into your sides. “Well, it makes me feel like I’m a cocker spaniel, so quit it.”

A full-chested laugh rolls out of him as his head falls to rest against the back of the couch. “You’re cute, you know that?”

“Cute?” Your palms slide up his shirt, thumbs circling over his nipples as he hums and gasps his appreciation.

“So cute,” he pulls you down onto his lap harder, grinding up into you until the tip of his still hidden cock is sweeping over your clit. “And I’m high and hungry. What should I call you? Salt and vinegar chips? My crunchy taco supreme? Questionable leftovers? Chicken flavored ramen?”

How are you laughing this hard while simultaneously soaking through your panties?

“Mmm,” you moan, as though swooning. “Questionable leftovers, please. Fuckin’ hot.”

He quiets your giggles by wrapping one palm around your throat, the other clasping the nape of your neck, owning you as he pulls you in, nose to nose.

“But you’re my favorite thing to eat, aren’t you? So what if I just called you my pretty little cunt, like that’s all you are to me?”

The air in your lungs tumbles free on a stuttering, hitching, embarrassing, sound of lust, and the look in his eyes tells you it hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Oh…you liked that, didn’t you?”

“Josh, please…” you whimper, yanking at the waistline of his sweats.

“Needy girl.” He teases, breathing into your mouth, “On your feet.”

“No.” You protest with the smallest of pouts. “Right here.”

“Just need to get these off you, love.” He cradles your cheek and snaps at your pj bottoms. “Up.”

You feel the gentle heat of a blush rising to your cheeks. You really are gone. Cross-faded on the THC floating through your system, and him. Mostly him. “Love?” You laugh quietly as you stumble up. “What happened to Questionable Leftovers?”

His gaze lifts to yours, dark and full of lust, yet still swimming in the bliss of the blunt. “Don’t you mean, ‘What happened to my pretty little cunt’? Because, I think you liked that one better.”

Without another word, eyes locked on yours, he rids you of your pj’s and panties, himself of his sweats and then manhandles you back down against him, while you clutch your bottom lip between your teeth.

Rather than bother with your tank top, he simply yanks the neck of it down, stretching it out until your tits pop free. He nestles his face between them and murmurs against your skin; sweet nothings and filthy promises as he licks and sucks at your nipples until you’re shivering and panting, tugging at his curls, hungry for more.

“Josh, please…” the words tremble out shakily and he nibbles on the tip of your breast in response.

“Begging already?” He smiles fondly, the fine hairs of his mustache bringing chills with the movement. “Such a sweet girl. Who’s my sweet girl, hmm? Tell me.”

“Me. I’m your sweet girl.” you arch your back, sending your nipple further into his mouth, but he pulls away.

He reaches down and drags his thumb over the glistening shine you’ve glazed his cock with, then brings it to your lips. He watches on while you lick it away, savoring yourself on your tongue. “Yeah, taste…such a sweet girl, aren’t you?”

You nod and fight to keep your eyes from rolling back in your head.

“You’re dripping all over me.” He points out with that luscious rasp quieting his tone. His fingers guide your hips a bit faster. “Making such a mess of my cock with your slutty, wet, pussy…”

“Fuck,” the curse escapes you unexpectedly, interrupting him.

“Yeah?” He teases. “See? You know what you like, don’t you, baby? You’re a sweet girl for me until I start whispering filthy things.”

“Then what am I?” You yank and tug on his shirt with a lazy fever, both enjoying and hating the game all at once.

His palm cracks against the outside of your thigh, fingers digging into the soft, thick of it. “Then you're my pretty, pretty cock drunk whore. Look at you, begging for it with your whole body, all slow and gentle because you’re in the clouds and sleepy stoned. I love it.”

“Stop teasing,” you plead, sugary as cotton candy. “I want it.”

“And you’ll have it. You know I can’t deny you for long, love, but right now this just feels too fucking good.” He angles his hips to nestle the silky tip of his cock against your clit. “Beautiful cunt all slick and hot against me. Keep going. Just a little longer.”

“No.” You shock him statue-still when, in a flash of movement that should be too swift for your inebriated state - you lift your hips, wrap your fingers around the thick base of him, and slip him inside.

His arms are wrapped around you in a blazingly fast blink of an eye. “Sit still.” He orders, voice firm and unwavering…it sends a spark of electricity popping up your spine. “Naughty girl too high to know what’s good for her?”

Your eyebrow hooks defiantly, “Maybe.”

Without bothering to reply, he licks his thumb absently and drops it down to your clit. “Oh,” he grins. “This darling little clit is just hard as a rock. No wonder you’re being so pushy…you must want it bad.”

“You think my clit is darling?” You're trying to taunt him, challenging for the upper hand.

“Of course I do.” He begins circling over it with tight, silken, curls of his thumb. “So darling. So precious and pink, soft and delicate…and the things I can do to you just by babying her around a bit.” He hums, as if remembering. “Fucking perfect. Fucking darling.”

“Standing by your statement,” You gasp, trying your hardest to fuck yourself on his cock while he holds you still and sure. “Good man.”

You grow louder, nearing your end, tip-toeing along that familiar razor-sharp edge, silently praying that the way you can feel yourself clenching around his cock will coerce him into finally fucking it up into you.

And yet, he doesn’t…and it forces your hand.

“Fuck me,” you finally give in and beg. “Please baby, just fuck me.”

“Earn it.” He whispers, watching your face intently as his hand plays you like a song. “Be a good girl and fucking earn it.”

“I don’t want to earn it.” You whine, catering to his need to baby you. “I want you to just give it to me. Spoil me.”

“You’re a worthy opponent, love…” he croons softly, sounding proud. “I almost gave in. Almost. Now, come on, little girl, give it up. I can feel you right there, you’re squeezed so tight around me.”

Your head falls against his shoulder, thrashing back and forth but he’s having none of it. “Huh-uh, baby. Want you to watch me make you cum.”

Wrenching yourself back up, you train your blurry gaze on his face, and, with a whispered, “C’mon, sweetheart, right on my cock with that gorgeous little cunt…” he shoves you into the abyss.

Darkness seeps into the peripherals of your vision as you try to stay focused on his ethereal face, and the pained expression painted across it. In the end, it becomes too much, and your head lolls back with a blissful cry.

Rather than scold you for not honoring his request to keep your eyes on him, he buries his face in the crook of your neck and groans out praises and obscenities. Most of which you can’t understand through the lavender fog he has unleashed in your brain.

When, at last, the smoke clears, you find his eyes. It's as though he’s been waiting a thousand years for you for as much desperation as you find in his stare.

“Ride me,” he orders, sounding as shaky and needy as you must have just a few short moments ago. “Right now…fucking ride me, please baby, oh my god - fuck, please.”

You could tease him. You could metaphorically push him around a bit about how the tables have turned. But in reality, the tables haven’t turned at all - you want him just as badly. You want to ride him until nothing else exists in the world.

When you begin rolling your hips, sending his cock slipping in and out of your warmth with a divine, slick, drag, he doubles over away from the back of the couch and into your arms. “That’s it, sweetheart…fuck me.”

“Yeah?” You hum, raking your fingernails softly over his scalp just to feel him shudder with chills.

“Yeah. Doing so fucking good for me, baby…gonna make me cum.”

Pushing him back, you lean away, trying to find that elusive angle that will send him rutting against that perfect spot inside you, but instead, you stumble upon something that’s perfect for him.

“Right there…” he gasps, clawing his dull nails into your hips. “Oh fuck, fuck…right there. Don’t stop…right there…there there there…”

“Cum for me,” you coax, fucking him harder now as he loses it completely beneath you. Writhing and thrashing and clutching at you desperately. “Come on, baby…right inside. I want it so bad.”

With a loud, feral growl that could shake the rafters, he spills into you. His body twisting and bucking into yours, violently grasping for purchase to keep him grounded.

It takes an astonishingly long time for him to calm down, but you just pet him patiently, babying him softly, loving on him and whispering sweet things.

Normally, he would complain that you’ve only gotten off once, no matter how much you insisted you were fine. He’s almost never satisfied with once. Twice is barely sufficient in his book, but he’s too far gone. He came too hard to care, and you feel positively smug about it.

When, after a leisurely bask in the afterglow, you move to climb off his lap, he whines in protest. “Stay.”

“You know, you get very subby after you get off.” You poke gentle fun and lift away from him despite his complaints.

“I do not!” He huffs. His hand darts out to swat your ass, but he misses by a mile and slumps back against the couch rather than worrying about trying again.

“Yes, you do.” You correct, flashing him a little smile. “Now you just wait here while I run to the bathroom. I’ll be back to clean you up, and then I’m going to make sandwiches.”

“Oh great, mysterious universe,” he extends a fluid, waving hand toward the ceiling as you slip out of the room. “Full of wonder and truth, secrets and curiosities…what have I done to deserve this woman? Giver of orgasms, Bringer of sandwiches...I am unworthy.”

Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @gardenofgreta @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @greta-flanveet-admin @joshkiszkas @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightjaketastic @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @sammiboo162 @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @calumspretty @dvrkblooms @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @tripthelight-fanfic @mckenna4 @theweightofjake @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordierama

[ms-no1kpopstan]

Strangers

(I just stole the name from the song Strangers by Kenya Grace, it’s not actually related to the song!)

my work for the Polaroid love event @lilacnini and @nishions are having!

pairing: nishimura riki x fem!reader genre: angst and some fluff at the end wc: idk tw: breakups, strangers to lovers, pda, lemme know if there’s more.

“Let’s break up.”, your now ex boyfriend tells you. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill. You bring your hands up to your face and wipe them away quickly before responding. “I’ll come get my stuff tomorrow morning.”, before you walked out of his apartment.

The second you closed the door behind you, you broke down as you started walking wherever your feet took you. You ended up at the park where you used to visit when you were sad or angry. Sitting on the benches always calmed you down. So you made your way to them and sat down, putting your head in your hands before a waterfall started pouring out of your eyes, as you sniffled.

Now, Riki was also at the park, to relax after studying for the entire day straight. He saw you crying on the benches and immediately went up to you. He didn’t know who you were, or why you were crying, but he just hated seeing people cry. It made him feel some kind of guilt, even when he wasn’t the one who made them cry nor was he even in their life.

He gently put his hand on your shoulder, and softly said “excuse me miss, uh I know that this might be a bit personal but uh, I saw you crying from across the playground and I wanted to help you out… so if I may ask, why are you crying? I’m not trying to be nosy but I just hate seeing people cry…”

You lift your face up out of your hands, revealing your puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks and dry lips. You sniffle before you give him an answer. “M-my boyfriend, we’ll n-now ex boyfriend, he started arguing with me and he m-made it look like my fault when all I d-did was ask him if h-he was okay. And he broke up with me after like a year and a half.”

You start to feel the tears well up in your eyes again. You shut your eyes tight, trying to stop them but they spill anyways. He pulls you into his embrace, warming you up, as you cried into this complete stranger’s jacket. He waits until you stop shaking to say “Are you okay miss uh…” he pauses, not knowing your name. “I’m yn. What’s your name?” You reply softly, still feeling sad. “Riki, Nishimura Riki.” He says with a smile, which made the corners of your lips turn up.

He only noticed how pretty you were now, too busy consoling you before to notice. Even though you just cried, you looked like a goddess to him. Little did he know, you were thinking about how handsome he was at that very moment.

The gap between the two of you was just a few inches, as you stared into each other’s eyes, your head in his chest as he was hugging you not too long ago. The gap started getting smaller as you both leaned in, closing the space in between the two of you as your lips met, moving against each other slowly as if nothing else was around you.

You closed your eyes to feel the electricity speeding through your veins as your lips moved against his. The loud beating of his heart mixed with the butterflies in your stomach was enough for you to know that he was the one for you and you were the one for him.

Who would’ve thought that your ex breaking up with you would have led to you meeting the right person exactly when you needed him?

[yowyowyaoi]

Tobi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Sasori

What exactly do you expect me to say to that?

Donuts outside your door. Peace offering.

I’m sure it’s just as scared of you as you are of it.

No it’s three. THREE leaves are bad.

I’ll have Deidara give it to you but from now on if you idiots choose to keep going out without sunscreen I’m no longer treating the burn.

I noticed. But we all have secrets. That one is yours.

I’ve long forgotten the taste of food but if you think you can do a better job than Konan, by all means tell her. I’m sure she’ll take it well.

From Zetsu

What would he even be to you? Uncle? Grandpa? Great-grandpa? 

Patience, sunshine and a lottttttt of sugar.

He wouldn’t be very pleased that you’re letting one immature blonde ruin your focus this way …

No I HAD to eat him. His screaming would have attracted the enemy.

Your eyes look atrocious have you been using the drops??

Don’t kill it until I get there! They make great snacks 😋

I get that but sleep is important too kid.

Pls tell me you’re not the one who ate it all. Please. Please.

From Hidan

I mean maybe if you had a bigger dick but I’m not even sure the puppet has one at all so idk man 🤷‍♂️

Geez I wasn’t that drunk was I? 

You’ve got some balls on you bastard but fuck yes I’m in!! 😈 Funniest shit ever.

So get out of bed and come hang out. Just laying there all day ain’t helping shit.

It’s rated R but only for the sex shit. Don’t worry I know what a little bitch you are about scary movies 🙄

You snitch on me and tomorrow you wake up with your severed hand shoved up your ass 😇

Stop being such a stingy mf you don’t even like ribs asshole!

Not as weird as you think. He’s very flexible for a geezer 

No you’d be perfect for it. Nobody could read your face bc of that fucking mask!

Don’t let Konan see she’d kill both of us and then dig us up to fuck us up again 😓

From Kisame

Itachi insists I ask you to join us, so please come.

There isn’t one in your closet and even if there was, why would you send ME after it?!

God are you and Itachi related or something?! I can’t get either one of you to stop with the damn sweets!

PLEASE stop jumping on the bed I gotta get up in 3 hours I need SLEEP 😡

Stop asking me 1000 questions every time you watch the Discovery Channel 😑

From Nagato

I’m tired of speaking to you three about the same damn issues every single week. You are all grown men and I should not have to babysit you.

If I’m getting complaints from people OUTSIDE of this group? Then, yes, it is a problem.

Do as you see fit but remember your missions take precedence above all.

I’d advise you to keep in mind that he’s only 19 years old, and he already has that hair-trigger temper.

At least on this one point we can agree: white-haired “mentors” are the worst. 

What makes you think Sasori would make a good Pein-body for me? 

From Kakuzu 

You realize every cloak you tear up I’M the one hand sewing the replacement??

You Deidara Hidan all need to clean your rooms you’re making the house smell like a public toilet 😡

Only if YOU want to be the one to go out and catch the bounty to afford that.

I would suggest you stay focused on your missions. This is a serious organization, not a highschool.

I doubt that. I’m rarely surprised, brat.

Be a lot easier to treat it if you took that damn mask off and let me SEE it, kid.

Not complaining about the money but … how did you get it so fast 🤨

Konan says it was you, you say it was Itachi. Wonder what Itachi’s going to tell me.

No. And anyway you’re old enough to know that “love potions” aren’t real.

From Konan

Dinner’s ready!

You know that’s a completely inappropriate question to ask a woman, right?

Come see me later I’ll use the good shampoo and then give you a trim 😊

The other things I don’t mind but everyone is responsible for their own underwear.

Just go play with the one that Itachi absolutely does not have in his room.

Okay but FIVE SEPARATE PEOPLE came to me and told me they saw you playing with it right before it “mysteriously broke”. 😒

Not saying the muscles are impressive. But. 🫣

From Itachi

I’ve found that massaging the lids for half an hour and then resting with a cold cloth over them really helps.

I saw. I couldn’t believe how tall he’s gotten 😢

I’ll let you read it when I’m done. It helps with a lot of the overwhelming feelings.

I’m not scared at all. I just don’t want Kisame to be around to see it happen.

Honestly? I don’t trust that old man and I don’t think you should either, cousin.

A few bad teeth is probably the least of my health concerns, ha ha 🙃

Come walk with me. Give you a chance to breathe for a while.

Yeah but the thing about dreams is at some point, you’ve got to wake up. 

We’re both young and strong. Together with Sasuke we could do it. And be free.

Are you kidding? That movie would have BOTH of them pissing their pants. 🤣

No matter what he’s just going to find an excuse to fine you for it and take it out of your pay.

Ugh I tried but the way he eats everything super rare? And then licks the blood off the plate?? 🤢

From Deidara

Well you know he’s immortal so, never.

A big box of dangos and like half a cherry pie. You can have it but do NOT let me catch you eating everything at once.

We leave in 20 min. Don’t forget your pack this time.

No Kakuzu thinks Hidan did it and I’m not gonna correct him, and NEITHER ARE YOU.

That’s … pretty gay, ngl

Socks first, then shoes. Not sock shoe sock shoe. If there was a fire you’d be running out with one foot naked. Who tf raised you?!

Yeah I made it for you. I know you like turtles. And no it doesn’t explode.

I dare you to say that to him

Heyyyy you got $30 I can borrow 😅

No really DID you hide my clay?!

Me, Hidan and Uchiha. You’re coming too.

The way one loves a *friend*, yes

Did the salmon give you the shits too?? God my asshole feels like it’s melting 😫

[andivmg]

give me all the juicy lovey dovey details, i love reading how you think of this man he seems like a real gem - what are your favourite things about him, moments that stood out

(warning: unexpectedly long post ahead)

omg i love this question! i’ll use literally any excuse to talk about him

i think one of my favorite things is that he’s really gentle with me. like the way he speaks to me… his tone is always really soft. i’m a little neurotic and anxious and he’s always really understanding and really good at calming me down. i remember once, we were going to go to dinner or something, i can’t remember exactly. but, i couldn’t find an outfit that i liked and i had a bit of a breakdown about it LOL. (i was just feeling really bloated and insecure that day like i did not feel pretty at all). so i got really frustrated to the point where my eyes were watering and he just held me really softly n was like “let’s just stay in and order something how does that sound?” (or something along those lines) just in the softest tone ever like i don’t think anyone has ever spoken to me like that. we ended up going out anyway after he helped me pick an outfit and hyped me up a little bit and it ended up being a lot of fun. also the way he touches me is also really soft. like when he hugs me it’s like he’s scared i’m gonna break if he does it too tightly. or when he holds my hand, or leads me through a crowd. even when we’re just around friends and family, it’s always very gentle and loving. it’s as if i can feel how much he loves me in the way he speaks to me and in the way he holds me.

i also love how he is around my family. i remember when he met my grandma she ADORED him because he was so polite and helped her reach something she couldn’t (she’s like 4’10 and he’s 6’) my mom also really loves him. when we went to my cousin’s wedding, she got sick and danny was really attentive the entire time, helping her out with whatever she needed. he’ll also just randomly order us food sometimes LOL. like we’ll be chilling at home and he’ll call and ask if we’re hungry and just order us something. also, my dad likes him. my dad doesn’t like anyone. and i mean ANYONE, that isn’t like his friends and a few family members apart from me. i haven’t really asked him how he feels about danny, because our relationship isn’t the kind where we talk about our feelings. but, the other day i took danny to my dad’s office to get a cleaning (my dad’s a dentist) and when we left, my dad pulled him into a hug. mind you, my dad doesn’t even hug most of our family members. the only people he hugs are me and his friends (and even then that’s pushing it). and not only did my dad hug him, he’s the one who initiated it. danny went in for a handshake and my dad just hugged him. i was in shock. but yeah, he’s met a lot of my family members and they all love him. my family is super important to me so this makes me really happy :)

another thing is that he’s really goofy. if you’ve watched any of his videos you probably already know that lmfao but yeah. i’m someone who is pretty serious, at least compared to him. my sense of humor is kinda dry, i get embarrassed really easily, i’m always anxious about something, a little bit of a control freak sometimes etc. i think probably because i was raised to be ladylike and proper. i went to private school and people were a little judgy and like. idk you just weren’t allowed to be goofy and cringe bc you’d just get made fun of and i think that’s just in my subconscious. (it went away a little through the years but some parts are kind of embedded into my brain now) like i went to etiquette school one summer, it was that serious. anyway, he’s the complete opposite in that sense. i don’t think he’s physically capable of feeling public embarrassment. or any embarrassment. like i’ll try to be serious around him and i can’t. he’s too goofy. his lack of shame is too powerful. this happens so often too it’s not even funny. we’ll just be chilling and i’ll get mildly annoyed and he’ll just start making jokes until i can’t contain my laughter. he loves to like. embarrass me in public like he’ll say the wildest shit (out of earshot from people) but it still just makes me go “shut up bro” while laughing. he also loves to annoy me dude. like on purpose. and i mean that in the best way possible like he just likes to get me riled up bc he knows i get embarrassed and annoyed easily and then he just starts making jokes idk how to explain it properly bc it’s so dumb but he always makes me laugh. idk like he’ll just fuck with me and it’s very annoying but in a good way, i love it.

he also just really takes care of me. y’all know about my arthritis, it sucks. sometimes it’s literally crippling. like i can’t move because of how much pain i’m in, crippling. this past week he was here for our anniversary and on two of the days, my arms and hips started hurting really bad. one night, he literally helped me eat, shower, get dressed, everything. because i couldn’t do it myself. and he did it with such care and not a single complaint or anything, just concern and love. i was crying bc of the pain and he just played with my hair until i was able to fall asleep. he also checks up on me and makes sure i’m eating properly. he got me an appointment with a fancy doctor and he’s paying for it and everything just to get second opinions n shit. idk he just really cares about me.

he’s also super supportive. when i decided to go to esthi school he was my number one supporter. he lets me practice on him, he’s even come in to my class as a model so i can work on him. he also just kinda really believes in me. i’ll tell him stupid little dreams i’ve had since i was little and he’s like “i mean i think you’d be amazing at that”. i’ll tell him things i’m insecure about and he has a way of making them feel so silly. like why would i even be insecure about that, that’s so dumb. i think this ties in to his “it’s not that serious” mindset. like he truly believes that anyone can do anything if they put their mind to it. literally why not? i’m not like that, i’m a little bit more cynical but he kind of makes me believe in myself a lot. which is not common for me. i struggle a lot w self doubt and always thinking i’m not good enough, it’s just childhood shit and trauma from past relationships. and this kind of applies to everything, school, work, etc… but, he’s helped me heal that a lot. it’s like in enough for you by olivia rodrigo. the part where she goes “someday i’ll be everything to somebody else, and they’ll think that i am so exciting”. that part. that’s how he makes me feel. he makes me feel like i’m more than enough, like i was stupid for ever thinking otherwise.

also something that i really admire about him is his work ethic. he works so fucking hard all the time and i’m so proud of him every single day. he works seven days a week, for hours. he puts in so much thought and effort into every single one of his videos, it amazes me. watching him work and brainstorming with him feels like a privilege. he’s so fucking smart and talented. i mentioned earlier that i’m a little cynical and stuff but when i look at him, and how far he’s come from where he started, i truly believe he will accomplish more than anything he could ever dream of. it’s not even a doubt in my mind. like i would follow him to the ends of the earth because i know that if he leads me there, nothing but good could come of it.

i think some of my favorite memories with him are our first date, the first time we said i love you, the day he asked me to be his gf, the second time he came to PR to see me, when he took me on a helicopter ride, and our anniversary just the whole day it was so special to me. but honestly, my truly favorite ones are of us just chilling at home, in each other’s company just talking. i think our quiet moments are my favorite.

this ended up being way longer than i originally intended but i just kept on thinking about him and just. ugh. i love him so much i’m disgusted with myself. i promise i’m still cool and awesome i’m just down bad for my man sorry

[erraticalart]

Heavy and Medic Switch

Basically, how I view Heavy and Medic’s intimate relationship in a nutshell.

This was sort of based on a post that I heavenly agreed on but I also wanted to put my two cents in here. This is gonna be a long post about my journey with this couple.

https://www.tumblr.com/the-sound-of-progress/719703522999959552/i-just-wanna-say-youre-completely-changing-the?source=share

Let me explain: 

There has been a silly little debate about what activities Heavy and Medic do behind closed doors, especially their roles/positions. 

On one hand, there’s Team Heavy: he’s big, strong, and intimidating. He can rock your world (as well as your bed). On the other hand, there’s Team Medic: he’s professional, insane, and sadistic. He can take your breath away (as well as your virginity). 

Team Heavy has been there since the very beginning since he’s viewed and portrayed as the more “masculine” and “dominating” man. He may know a thing or two about sex (or not since Heavy spent most of his life in the Gulag, idk). 

Throughout the years, Team Medic has been sprinkled in from time to time since he may have more experience in this field (or not since he may be focused on his experiments, idk). He’s got a few tricks up his sleeves and may be skilled with techniques. 

Anyways, I’ve seen and heard from both sides, so I’ll tell you a thing or two from my experience.

When I first got into TF2 and was interested in HeavyMedic, I assumed that Heavy was like the oldest merc just because of his voice, height, and strength. (I’m stupid to think that’s what it means to be old and how they should be.) I was then wrong to find out that it may be either Spy or Medic (idk which tho). But I thought that it was a pretty interesting dynamic to have a serious, tall younger man and a crazy, shorter older man in a relationship and I think that’s pretty cute. 

Now when it came to same-sex relationships in smut art or fanfics, most people prefer the older masculine man to top since it’s more hotter, I guess. Back then, I enjoyed it but whenever I see or read a fanfic where it’s the opposite, I love it even more and I wasn’t sure why. Is it because the dominant one gets a taste of his own medicine or is it because I enjoy the reactions he gives or even both? I thought it was because the younger one finally gets to have a go at it. And ever since then, I clinged on to it and preferred it even more than the norm or majority.

And like I said, when I got into HeavyMedic, I was Team Medic, because I thought that Heavy is older and I wanted Medic to top (until I realized I was stupid). Ok, Heavy is younger and topping Medic so that means I enjoy it, right? Well... yes and no. Yes, because it was interesting to read and I enjoyed reading it, and no, because... well... I hate to say this but... 

It just gets repetitive.

I then ask myself, “What’s wrong? Why don’t I enjoy it as much as I used to anymore?” Is it because Heavy is bigger? Stronger? More masculine? Just what is it? Or is it because Medic is my main and my favorite character (Heavy’s my second favorite character, btw so aww) and I want him to have a piece of Heavy’s cake for once? Or maybe I’m just biased, I guess, idk. That could be the case until I read some fanfics that contains Medic and another person (let’s say Engie since I like the pairing tho not as much as HeavyMedic) and I noticed something different. Sometimes Medic tops and sometimes he bottoms (tho it depends on the person he’s paired with so results may vary). Now tbh, I never read a fanfic where someone else is paired with Heavy since I didn’t know who else was perfect for him so please prove me wrong when I say this but...

What are the chances/percentages that Heavy bottoms?

Most of the time, it’s pretty rare and look, I get it, I completely understand. He’s an impressive specimen. Who wouldn’t want Heavy to fuck them? Hell, I would too, tbh. But see that’s the thing. We all want Heavy to do something for us but we never considered doing something for him.

I read some Bottom Heavy fanfics where Heavy even expresses this issue and I sympathized with him for it. So whenever Medic (in this case) is there for him and does the deed, it leaves me in a good mood. And because of that, I was Team Medic (also like I said before, I just want to see Heavy’s reactions and eat it up as much as possible and, well, Medic is hot when he’s dominating him). Also, “Heavy and Medic Get It On” is an old-time classic and I love it.

Also, just because Medic is shorter or less muscular, that doesn’t mean that he should be portrayed as the more weaker or submissive one. The same goes for Heavy, just because Heavy is taller and more muscular, that doesn’t mean that he should be portrayed as the more stronger or dominant one. Let them both have a fair share of fun.

I then realized that a majority of my favorite HeavyMedic smut fics were Bottom Heavy based and again I ask myself, “Why do I enjoy it more than the majority of fanfics? Just what is it?” Until I realized something, I put all the pieces together. “Dominant one bottoming” “Majority” “Repetitive” “Chance/Percentages of bottoming” I soon came to this conclusion.

The reason I love Bottom Heavy so much is because it stands out more than other smut fanfics.

It just made so much sense to me now. And not just Heavy but other fanfics where the top bottoms. It was a breath of fresh air for me. And I don’t want to diss top Heavy but as I said before, it just gets repetitive to the point where that’s the norm and it gets a little boring. When I read it, I know what’s coming up so I know what to expect from it. So when I read one where Heavy bottoms all of a sudden, it just catches me off guard, leaving me surprised and yet impressed by it. And it leaves me wanting more.

And like I said before, I like Top Medic since it’s nice for a change and while there have been Top Medic fics sprinkled throughout the years I noticed that it’s slowly increasing in popularity and I’m happy that other people seem to like it as well.

However, just because I would love to see an increase of Top Medic fics, that doesn’t mean that I want Top Heavy to stop, slow, or die out. I’m not saying I hate it, don’t get it the wrong way or anything. I still love Top Heavy and I love how they interact especially their reactions (mostly Medic’s). I just want Medic to get a piece of that action, y’know? He may be old but that doesn’t mean he has no spark of energy in him anymore. He could become a beast if he wanted to. Let the old man have a go at it.

Also, because it’s just a silly little debate, I don’t want people to fight over who tops and who bottoms. That’s the last thing I want to cause. Besides, there are people who don’t like reading smut fics with them in it and that’s also fine. Not everything needs to be related to sex in a relationship especially theirs. It’s called having a normal life and enjoying it. I love reading fluff fics where there’s a strangers-to-friends, slow burn, friends-to-lovers, confession, dating, one bed/ sharing a bed, acting like a couple, being a couple, marriage proposal, wedding, couple life with or without a kid, and sadly even death/afterlife whether it takes place during or after the Gravel Wars. And of course, I LOVE reading stories where Heavy and Medic are just chatting and laughing in the infirmary during surgery (with Archimedes there, of course). This post is just focusing on when they’re in the bedroom. We are all different people with different headcanons. You got yours, I got mines. I don’t have to agree with yours and you don’t have to agree with mines. Alright? But I found out a little solution that may or may not solve this little problem and it’s much rarer than Top Medic/Bottom Heavy (just know that this isn’t the ultimate solution, but rather a small suggestion).

Switch/Versatile

What is this and what does this mean? Please correct me if I’m wrong or make a mistake. These two words may mean the same thing but just like how top/bottom and dominant/submissive compare, it’s different. Switch means you can either be dominant or submissive depending on the mood and versatile means you like to top and bottom. Most of the time when I forget, I just simplify both to switch to make it easy to understand.

I’ve read at least 3 smut fanfics where Heavy and Medic tend to switch roles and positions in the same chapter or story and tbh, I really liked them. Not as much as Top Medic but I really enjoyed reading them and just like Bottom Heavy it was a breath of fresh air, became some of my favorite HeavyMedic smut fics, and I would love to see an increase of it too.

Let’s wrap things up now. 

At the end of the day, if you were to ask me which team I’d prefer, I’d still say Team Medic, BUT I’m starting to lean more towards HeavyMedic switches. This is a copy-paste to when I replied to a random HeavyMedic post, but here’s why I love it.

“I see Heavy and Medic as good 'ol switches since they see each other as equal whether on or off the battlefield. HeavyMedic switches are also very rare in smut fics. In the beginning, Heavy says, "Get behind me, Doktor!" and ever since MvM, Medic also says, "Get behind me!" They fight together, help each other, heal each other, and make each other laugh so technically they should also please each other in bed.”

Also, it’s fun to read about what kind of whacky adventures they do together. They are both different beings who do different jobs and hobbies. One’s a heavy-lifter and one’s a doctor. Think of the many kinds of possibilities they could do to each other depending on the variety of settings to have full-on make-out sessions. It’s fun to get creative.

Technically if you really want to think about it, which team am I in?

Well, it’s a lovely, beautiful, sweet, short, simple answer that really means a lot to me that really brings it all together in the end.

I’m Team HeavyMedic.

Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far in the end. I didn’t think I would write this much so I apologize if this post is long. If there’s anything you need to say like an opinion or statement, make sure to reply down below. Just remember to not start a fight, please. We all have different opinions. 

Also, while we’re at it, someone once asked me if I have any Bottom Heavy fanfic suggestions and I in fact do! But it’s gonna take me a while to make a list of it and there are probably some fics that I missed so it would really mean a lot to me if you can help me by linking suggestions. It doesn’t have to be just Bottom Heavy, you can also include HeavyMedic switches. (Also, if you’re an author or writer, you can tag top/bottom/switches Heavy/Medic so some people can read based on what they want to see since people have different headcanons, but you also don’t have to so you can surprise the readers and I quite like the idea of it, but of course the choice is yours). And the links can be from any fanfic site. I found most on AO3 (I may have missed some so please help me) and I recently found some here on Tumblr so the possibilities are endless. Once I have everything I need, I’ll post it and I’ll probably pin it for some time. If I miss anything, be sure to message me or reply so that I can update the list.

That’s all I have to say. Thank you and goodbye!

[werebutch]

@eucyon Oh my god tumblr ate your ask I’m so lucky I screenshotted. So mad I have to type again . Thank you so much for dis question it’s so fun and made me really think to be honest ^__^ ILYSMMMM this is long but it’s too fun

This is Lynx’s most popular album, Conspiracy Theories. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have a pic of lynx as the cover even if it’s silly. I really like rabbit imagery in music anyways though so I think it’s nice. I was inspired by Alice In Chains album covers and also fleshwater’s ‘we’re not here to be loved’. I tried to find a way to make it more 'gritty' but I couldn’t unfortunately 😭 I like how the title looks, like they just got a label maker and smacked it on..heheh

I imagine that this album is about relationship anxiety, betrayal, resentment, anti social tendencies, infidelity, and aliens. Probably not little green men, maybe more like the thing kind of fleshy imagery. Definitely appealing to atlas and scotch in different ways. Tool’s Undertow is a good example (off the top of my head..) of the sound I’m thinking of, so… prog? Or at least heavily inspired. I’m bad with genres heheh

im currently trying to either become okay with roadkill's name, or decide on a new one.. so im not making any album covers for them yet lol but i will post when i do..

I think roadkill would take a lot of inspo from their fave band so their style is probably heavily influenced by Lynx. Scotch adds a lot of sampling, distortion, whatever..idk I don’t make music.. and atlas is a big fan of slow tempo and bass. think its important to note that atlas doesnt play bass like a bassist in this album, he plays it more like a guitarist. kind of. hope that makes sense. I’ve always been really torn about roadkill’s genre, it’s been everywhere and tends to change. scotch and atlas’ styles would be vastly different if they were solo, so I think that’s why i am so indecisive . I think I just have to keep reminding myself that they’re in a band together, so styles would be mixed.

A part of me is like.. I think roadkill’s first album would be reminiscent of faith no more’s ‘the real thing’, or even some of Primus' stuff in some sense, plus similarities to Lynx and influences of industrial. i know thats a lot of random descriptions. I kinda think of (here’s a goofy genre for ya) sludge metal bands’ instrumental style, not necessarily vocal style... its hard to describe a band that doesnt exist. LMFAO

right now im thinking about 'the pot' by tool as a close example of roadkill.. im having a hard time finding artists that match scotch's vocal range even remotely. also doesnt help that the bands im basing this off of like tool and FNM dont exactly...fit into genres very neatly. roadkill and lynx wouldnt either. HAH. i just know it wouldnt be that high quality but definitely obvious theres a lot of passion in it. i mean this is just an album made by guys who dontknow what theyre doing. like at all. lol

Roadkill’s sound changes quite a bit their next album when seraph is involved. It becomes a lot more ummmm I guess palatable to more people? I don’t exactly know what I mean by that. Ok. LOL. I’ll think about it.. but this is around when Scotch realizes he wants this to be his job. Having Seraph helps A LOT with building a more dedicated and bigger audience, since they’re the one most willing to make changes. Plus they’re in art school, I feel like they’d have connections. So I guess roadkill would sell out in a way.

if you asked me this question a year ago i would have had a completely different answer. i wouldve probably said roadkill is pop punk or garage rock or something. i have trouble fitting scotch and atlas into a genre together. it fits scotch just fine and i think he would enjoy it, but its not roadkill.. also ive been thinking of stylizing roadkill as rdkill.. lmk wat u think.. im unsure about the name is generalHAHA. i know this is a lot so dont feel pressured to reply to everything LMAO im just thinking out loud. and drawing connections between genres that completely do not make sense. peace and LOVE<3

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself-Story (18+)

CW: addiction

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Start

Transcript ⬇️

Pic 1:

Since my failed surprise to him, Daniel hasn’t been well. Maybe I overreacted a bit that night when he came home late? Idk?… After all, he apologized to me and regretted it. I shouldn’t have rejected him and compared him to Mr B. What I didn’t do, but I think D. got me wrong.

Pic 2:

Even Lucky was sad. I cried in the bedroom and worried about Daniel, who had been lying on the couch for almost two days. He just didn’t want to talk to me? I wasn’t sure? I felt like he didn’t want me around him, so I just played Sims all day yesterday. And you know, I’ve been writing with Nico, but I still didn’t know it was him!!! I thought Nico was a woman who was chatting with me about Sims. His Origin ID was “EllaSheSims…” But since yesterday I knew that Nico is a 22 year old guy and not a woman/girl, who’s playing sims. That username he used, belonged to his current girlfriend/fiancé.

I asked him why he plays Sims? I thought it was…. weird? He told me that his ex gf loved Sims. They broke up, he said. But he still missed her sm. He bought her the base game and some packs ,so she could play Sims on his pc and bla bla bla… He told me OUR story, you know? But I didn’t get it!!! Instead, I felt sorry for him because he missed his ex. (me)

Pic 3:

I told Nico what’s going on with Daniel and that I was really sad & worried about him. I know I told a stranger my probs. But…. he also told me about his ex, so I felt like I could talk to him about Daniel. Nico advised me to talk to Daniel, he said Daniel needed me now. Actually, that was totally sweet of Nico in retrospect. He wanted to help me make it work between Daniel and me, even though….. he missed me.

Back to Daniel… I think that’s when D. thought about leaving. He felt he had lost control of his addiction and wanted to prevent me from relapsing. But it was all my fault! I wanted us to do it again a few days ago because of this shit with Mr B. and now Daniel may have relapsed. I HAD TO do something!! I somehow misjudged the whole situation with D. He has been constantly helping me and he seemed so determined to do everything right. I had the feeling he was fine. But… Daniel is kind of sensitive, like me. Being constantly rejected by me, because of my panic attacks made him totally insecure, especially our last dispute. Anyway, it was time for me to get out of hiding and help him!!

Pic 4:

Me: I’m so sorry D. for what I said yesterday to you. But I didn’t mean it bad. I was disappointed, you know? Ily sm and wanted to make up for what we missed. However, tell me, what’s up with you? I’m here for you and you don’t have to feel bad about anything or blame yourself. You helped me sm, D.! Now I’m gonna help you. Daniel: You can’t help me, you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you try. Me: I don’t care!I will always love you and stay with you whether you stay clean or not. I’ll be strong for you and I’ll help you! Honestly. I’m not like I was in the summer, you changed me and you showed me that I can live without that fucking drug. I just need you. And…… you me. Daniel: Everything goes wrong, I failed….. You have to learn to cope without me & I, without you. Otherwise, we’ll never really make it.

Pic 5:

Me: It doesn’t matter, we’re married! Why would you or I….. leave? I’ll stay with you forever. I can’t live without you! Is that what you want Daniel: No…….. Still, I’m not good for you. I screwed up and without me, you would never have been in danger three months ago. All this shit would have been spared you….

Pic 6:

Me: I was so happy when you asked me to marry you. It doesn’t matter what happened to us. Without you, I wouldn’t have survived last summer or last year in general. I was totally out of control!! I was busy destroying myself completely! Nothing and nobody could stop me, except you. And when you moved with me here, to start a new chapter together, I was really happy, like never before. Finding this place for the two of us was…. the best surprise ever!! I love it here with you and I don’t give a shit about anything else. But now you have to get up D.! I’m gonna help you. Or tell me what to do for you?

Pic 7:

I went to buy Daniel something to eat, but getting groceries wasn’t the only thing on my to do list. I had to get a pregnancy test. I still haven’t told D. I was overdue. On our honeymoon I only had my period for 2 days, but I didn’t think anything of it. And this month…. maybe my period was just late? After all, my cycle in recent months has been constantly irregular because of what happened in the summer. We didn’t really use contraception. I gave up on this topic tbh and since summer I kept feeling that I could not have kids.

Though I was terrified to have a baby, I wished it deep in my heart.

Pic 8:

I thought sex was the one thing he wanted or demanded most from me because we couldn’t do it for weeks. But I guess, I was wrong again. He just needed me.

Pic 9:

Um… how am I supposed to sleep now? I don’t know what’s so great about falling asleep on another person? A pillow is much more comfortable. But well , maybe that’s just me. However, as long as he got better, that’s all I wanted.

I just looked at him and wished he never had to be sad about me or anything….. And yet in 3 weeks this chapter of my life ends here for me. Not really and not forever, but still. Whether that was good or not, I can answer today, 9 years later. I would say, NO! But then I would never have had my son and met him, so it must have happened!!!

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[stateswscarlet]

but what if I genuinely don't want to do ANYTHING to get my desire, I just want to wake up and BAM it's there. Do you think that's possible? and please don't say "it depends on you and what you believe in your reality." I want to know what YOU think.

Why are you asking me? Do my beliefs and my state manifest in YOUR reality? Didn’t think so. You don’t need my validation at all, im some random chick on the internet who loves studying and teaching the law.

So yes anon it depends on you and what you believe in your reality, lmao.

But I assume you’re wanting MY personal opinion in MY reality correct? So I also assume you’re not going to cry and throw up and spiral to everyone else that “Omg scarlet said this!!” because you asked for MY OPINION.

(and this goes to everyone else reading this - I better not catch anyone spiraling in someone elses ask box about “scarlet said this, is it true?? is it real?? what do i do?” because I know DAMN WELL yall LOVE taking stuff out of context and blurt it to other creators without giving them the full story. So if you’re going to go throw up your spiral in someone else box, let them read my ENTIRE answer before you make me look bad.)

So since anon asked for MY PERSONAL OPINION IN MY REALITY I will share MY OWN PERSONAL BELIEFS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSES REALITY BUT MY OWN.

I don’t believe in MY REALITY that its possible to magically wake up in another life. I don’t believe in “magical” manifestations. I don’t believe in anything that isn’t already natural or COULD NOT BE experienced (even as a teeeeeeeeeeeny chance) by someone living on planet earth and all its laws. I don’t believe in manipulating physics, growing wings, changing your age and physically becoming a 10 year old from a 45 yeat old, changing your race (thats weird as fuck so idk why you’d do that anyways), transforming into a magic fairy, turning into a sorcerer who can teleport and mind read, or waking up tomorrow as taylor swift.

The way I learned and understood and firsthand experienced the law is:

1. The law is natural. It has ALWAYS been at play. It is ALWAYS working FOR EVERYONE. Even unconsciously we are all manifesting based off the law and our state. It works THE SAME WAY for everyone regardless of who you are.

2. Our consciousness, YES it is LIMITLESS has chosen FOR THIS LIFETIME a HUMAN experience that is bound to the 3D. Our consciousness has chosen an earth experience as its home, as its experience for our life that we are aware of. It CHOSE this (limited) 3D world as its experience and WANTS to experience what a human is capable of experiencing. The law exists amongst other laws like physics. Yes we are god, but we are GOD EXPERIENCING ITSELF THROUGH A HUMAN. WE CAN GOD IN HUMAN FORM. Not literally an all knowing powerful entity who can turn off gravity and create an ice castle in a blink of an eye.

So if you’ve lived your whole life never hearing of anyone that has magically woken up in a mansion in LA when they were just asleep in their studio apartment in Antartica, it would be pretty difficult to believe that to be true today. Now if you HAVE heard of that or firsthand experienced it, know someone who has, now thats a different story because again, IF YOU BELIEVE ITS POSSIBLE IN YOUR REALITY THEN THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE.

I personally have never heard of anything magical happening nor have I ever seen it with my own eyes so in MY REALITY its not possible in the slightest. I don’t see myself manifesting waking up in a completely different life with a new name, age, set of parents because first of all, I would freak THE FUCK out, that sounds SO scary and disorienting?! Maybe i’ll believe it when I see someone in real life flapping their wings, teleporting, and waking up in a brand new place with a new name/age. And I don’t mean people on here with success stories online, I mean people physically and/or people who don’t know the words “law of assumption” experiencing it (as I said up in number 1, the law is the same for everyone).

When I see “manifesting is illogical” I take it as we cannot conceptualize HOW something would happen. That is what ILLOGICAL means. It doesn’t mean that when you blink, a fat stack of a billon dollars is going to appear in front of you. It means YOU CANNOT PREDICT OR KNOW HOW IT WILL HAPPEN AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY, IT WILL STILL HAPPEN IN A WAY YOU DIDNT EVEN THINK OF. Same thing applies for the “there are infinite realities, theres one where im living that!” YES you are correct! There is a reality where you have a huge mansion next to Kylie Jenner, and so there would be NATURAL STEPS TAKEN to make that a reality that would be the BEST way for YOU.

I believe in a natural bridge of incidents (it would have happened anyways or it makes sense how it happened after it did kind of thing) that is perfectly and best suited TO ME. Trying to “wake up” in a new life is messing with the how, because if you knew by the end of next week GUARANTEED you’d be living your dream life, would you give half a fuck about what steps needed to be taken for that? NO because you would just NATURALLY take them WITHOUT EVEN THINKING as part of the bridge! So yes, becoming a millionaire quickly is 100% possible, dating a celebrity is also 100% possible, moving into a huge mansion when you’re currently homeless is also possible, healing an illness is also possible, and so is manifesting an sp you don’t know/do know, and manifesting a career you’re not qualified for/rejected for because all of these things and everything else in between are things which humans can already experience (even as a very slim, nearly impossible chance) with or without knowing the law. I firmly believe the law isn’t magic.

I already know someone is gona be like “what about so and so success story? what about xyz stories? are they fake??”

When I say that I GENUINELY DO NOT GIVE A SINGLE THOUGHT thinking if someone’s success is true or not, I 10000% mean it. Who am I to tell someone else they’re lying or ask for proof? In THEIR reality they experience different beliefs than me and thats 100% okay. I dont care what someone is or isn’t doing in their reality. I don’t care if they’re lying or scripting because how does that affect me? I still believe in the law and love my natural and “limited” perspective and still get things reflected in the 3D in a natural and effortless way. I don’t need nor want proof of it because no one owes anyone any successes or proof that they manifested something and this goes for me too. I will say however that no one should be relying on other peoples successes on the internet and instead use the law yourself to be your own success story. We (myself included) are at the end of the day, random strangers on the internet who you don’t know. Why would you place your life in our hands? Study the law yourself from source and be comfortable with your own beliefs instead of asking me or anyone else “is this possible” instead ask YOURSELF if ifs possible for you.

Not to mention i’ve literally known people from other communities (reddit and subliminals community) who posted “impossible” successes yet were in my DMs saying how “gullible” others are and how none of that happened. It makes me sad knowing people would post anything fake, but I know that others lying has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. This is why I said that YOU NEED TO BE YOUR SUCCESS instead of relying on others because we aren’t special or unique, we are all regular people too.

Also I will NOT BE ANSWERING ANY ASKS RELATED TO CALLING ME LIMITED, BEING RUDE, TELLING ME OFF, ETC it will be INSTANTLY DELETED. This is MY PAGE WHERE I SHARE MY BELIEFS. DO NOT go around to 10 other creators venting that “omg scarlet said i cant magically wake up a kpop idol!” because if you’re spiraling over ONE random persons beliefs, im sorry you need to do better and go apply the law. If you are going to be throwing up elsewhere, make sure you link the entire post.

Call me limited all you want, im not stopping YOU from getting what YOU believe to be true.

[not-poignant]

hey pia! i love your work, hi!!! im a young writer interested in posting some of my big projects online (not that i really expect them to get any traction lol). i was wondering how you protect your work from plagiarism, or how you deal with people plagiarizing your work. it seems like the internet is kind of the wild west, and that’s only sometimes a good thing :/ im probably a bit too poor to afford any sort of copyright or whatever online authors do, but maybe i can save up? 🙏🙏

PS - i didn’t actually care whether or not this ask was anonymous, but from my experience on tumblr it seems like an unspoken rule🤨 so i guess i’ll turn it on🫡

Hi anon!

Tbh the only real difference between anon and attaching your name is that I have the choice to reply to you privately if you send an ask under your name (which is sometimes preferrable if the question is personal or really niche!) and that gives me more options. Anon forces me to only answer publicly (which is probably why you're seeing that so much!!), but the downside is that sometimes I have to delete anon messages when I don't want the responses or even the ask/s on my public blog.

Anyway! This is something I'd respond to publicly anyway, because I think this is a fear a lot of new and young writers have. The tl;dr is that copyright is often assumed on the internet, provenance makes it easy to send DMCA takedowns, and letting a fear of piracy stop you from putting your work up is one of the biggest ways I see new authors handicap themselves on the web currently (idk if it's confirmation bias or what but it seems like I see this several times each month atm from specifically new authors), and it's like...not a thing...to be hampering yourself with.

Okay, now for the longer explanation:

The first thing with copyright is that it by and large depends on your country and what you want to do with the story. In Australia, every created work by default has legal copyright protection simply by being created by someone. We don't need to pay to apply for copyright on creative works, we automatically have it and if we can prove provenance (i.e. if we can demonstrate we created it first, with like a document date etc.) we are legally protected.

So I can't answer for the country you're in, anon, but honestly, this is how it works on most of the internet where you're likely to put a project online. AO3 will respect that a work is yours if it gets stolen, if you can prove you came up with it or published it before another person did (literally all you need is a screenshot or a link). In the Properties or Details of most of your documents, the 'date created' is your best friend.

I've had my work stolen quite a few times over the years. It's been stolen the most from AO3 over to Wattpad (it's almost like Wattpad authors don't realise that sometimes we look lol).

In one case, blanket commenting on one of the fics that the original fic was on AO3 *and complete and not stolen* was enough for the author themselves to take it down. x.x Otherwise what you generally do is send a DMCA takedown notice, which almost all creative sites give you access to when reporting theft (your readers cannot do this for you, you must do it.)

Similarly, on AO3, if this happens, you can just report it. The big downside here is that it can take the volunteers there some time - sometimes up to two weeks or more - to get on top of that, so it might feel like nothing at all is happening. Patience is recommended.

Look, theft happens, you can't avoid it. It is a normal part of putting your work out there in the world. And I can't tell you how many new authors I know who kind of shoot themselves in the foot trying to prevent the acts of thieves, while not realising they're hampering themselves in the process.

Pirating is the worst, but so is never putting your work out there, or waiting for a magical protection from piracy. It doesn't exist - and there's a general rule where the more steps you introduce to stop or reduce piracy, the more you actually alienate your general readers - think about how having right-click disabled on a website can feel, for example. It's considered hostile internet architecture that is often very inaccessible.

(There's also a phenomenon where the authors most scared of theft are the ones least likely to encounter it, because their works are new, and they'll need a lot of time to build up readers and engagement in the first place. Most of the time, those who plagiarise don't want to take the works of new/young authors over the works of experienced authors who just won't think to check the sites they're using. By the time you're popular enough for that to be an issue, you'll probably have more confidence in yourself and your ability to handle this. I will say theft of ebooks on sites like Amazon etc. is way more common than theft of original stories and fanfics on AO3, but both happen more often than they used to, that's just...sadly a part of life.)

Also, applying for copyright doesn't mean your work won't get stolen. You'll still have to send DMCA takedowns, and you'll still have to get in contact with websites. A lot of the time websites have a form you can fill out. You still have to do all that labour and pay to register copyright. The filing of copyright is sadly not a magical shield against theft of a creative work. It does make it easier to take someone to court, but that's expensive, often not worth it, and the labour someone can spend chasing down thieves is often better spent amongst the readers who actually give a shit (they're the ones who often notice the theft in the first place when it comes to serials).

If you plan on publishing ebooks, there's software and organisations you can pay a monthly fee to, who just exist to issue takedown notices to piracy sites so you don't have to. I've never used these personally, but from what I've read on Facebook writing groups, they're often not worth it compared to the past, because new sites spring up all the time. But different authors have different experiences with online theft (and different levels of income to combat it) so you'll hear different things on that front.

I'm...pretty zen about it. To me, it's only a worry when I have to send someone a notice about it, which I don't actually have to do all that often. Like, it sucks, but almost always it never happens as much as a new author like yourself fears it will. That doesn't mean you won't hate it when it happens, but you'll live, and your works will keep finding readers, and it won't be what you're likely imagining it will be. It's for most authors, just an occasional giant pain in the ass that we forget about a day or two later sdakfjdsa

[dreamsclock]

no more sad cdnf ill cry :((

happy c!dteam for u :) i feel like i've posted this before but idk??? either way . this was written YEARS ago but it's still v sweet :D

“You’ve got to stop burning yourself out like this.”

Dream doesn’t even look behind him, training weary eyes on his target in front of him without a word. He knows what he’ll see if he turns - Sapnap, hands balled resolutely into fists behind him, face determined, concerned. It’s clear his best friend doesn’t understand, and he’s not about to start explaining.

“Seems like you’re trying to get yourself injured,” comes another voice casually from behind Sapnap’s, and this voice does make Dream stiffen and turn; Sapnap is standing exactly as he imagines, looking strangely out of place in the dark of the Syndicate training room, but behind him is George, eyebrows arched, face bored. He leans against the door like he doesn’t care less. 

Dream knows better. He always does.

“Who sent you?” He asks, voice quiet, hushed.

Sapnap steps forwards. “Who d’you think, idiot?” He trades an uncertain glance with George. “Techno said you’d be down here. Think he’d kill us if we came down here otherwise.”

Biting back a snort of amusement, Dream knows it’s true. Techno is more than a little protective of the Syndicate grounds, and had been displeased enough when Dream had requested that his friends should be allowed to come and go as they pleased. But he knows why Techno has sent them - knows, because Techno is ridiculously transparent these days, and it’s obvious the other is worried about him.

Not that anyone should worry about him. Because he’s fine.

He says so himself.

“Tell Tech I said… thanks for the concern, but I’m good.” Dream spins back round to his straw training dummy, gives it a poke with his sword. His arm, exhausted after hours of desperately trying to work himself back up to full strength, trembles. “I’ll finish soon, and I’ll get sleep when I’m done.”

George scoffs. “It’s one in the morning. It’s past training time.”

“I slept plenty yesterday,” Dream says, unfazed, “look. I’ll finish soon. I promise.”

…It’s only partly a lie. Really, ‘soon’ could mean anything - five minutes, fifty minutes, five hours. He does plan on finishing at some point… though he doesn’t have to tell them when. He’s sick of feeling like he’s being babied, sick of hiding away waiting desperately to be completely healed - hell, Quackity and Sam had done a fantastic job of making sure Health and Regen potions got rid of every scar and open wound on his body - and he’s sick of feeling like he’s useless. Like he’s damaged.

He’s completely fine. He’s Dream.

When he sways on his feet, Sapnap doesn’t look sure, and steadies him. Annoyance rising, Dream pushes him off with a grimace.

“Sapnap.” The name comes out with force. “I’m fine.”

“Dream.” George mimics his voice, pushing himself off the doorframe and sauntering in. His eyes are heavy and framed with dark circles under his goggles. “You’ve been here seven hours.”

…Okay, so that’s true. Dream wilts a little, but stays stubborn. “I stopped for dinner.”

“Stopped to step out, take steak from Philza, and eat it.” Sapnap exhales, stepping round and getting between Dream’s sword and the training dummy. “Look, man. It’s clear you want to train. Nobody wants to stop you doing that–”

“Really?” He interrupts, words clipped. “Because that’s what it feels like.”

“No. Prime, you’re paranoid.”

“Really.” Dream’s laugh is dry, even in his own ears. “Astute, Sap.”

He doesn’t mean the nickname, he really doesn’t. It’s been months and months since he’d called him that - before the breakout, before prison, before the throne, and even then, it had mostly been a joke. Calling him Sap now feels too gentle, too vulnerable – but Sapnap softens anyway, sighing, running a hand through the back of his hair. “We just want you to rest,” he says quietly, “look, man. We all get that you want to train. Believe me, we get it. But you have so much time. You don’t need to exhaust yourself like this.”

Time. What do George and Sapnap know about time? Dream’s face hardens, and he lifts the sword to Sapnap’s throat - it’s not a genuine threat, though, and it stings to see Sapnap stiffen like it is. 

“Sapnap, listen to me. I’m not going to stop training. I need to train.” He has to laugh, incredulously. “I lost so much time in prison. Ten months! And I lost six weeks recovering, and I lost two months building up strength again and focusing on recovering mentally, and I’ve only just managed to start training properly again! How can you ask me to stop when I’ve only just started?”

“Fight me, then.”

Sapnap and Dream both pause at George’s nonchalant offer. Swiveling round, eyes narrowing suspiciously, Dream stares at his best friend. “What?”

George saunters forwards, dropping his sword on the floor and rolling up his sleeves. Despite the tiredness on his face, he looks ready. “You heard me,” the older continues impatiently, “if you want to train, then fight me. Only if you lose, you rest. If you win, you can do what you want.”

Sapnap protests incoherently. Dream, seizing the opportunity to be left alone, agrees: “Deal,” he says, dropping his own sword, “fists only?”

George hums in agreement. “First to get the other to less than half health.”

And fighting with George – it’s different. It’s not as frightening as Dream had initially feared, nothing like prison, when his only ways of fighting back had been shielding his face from blows or throwing himself into lava to defy the Warden and Quackity. It’s not frightening, it doesn’t remind him of prison, Quackity, anything – instead, it’s exhilarating. It feels like his old life again when George yelps at a particularly sneaky hit, feels familiar and good when George’s fist connects with his shoulder. 

He’s used to winning fights with George, especially this George, who spends half his life in a dream and certainly hasn’t trained for a long, long time. Maybe it’s this that makes him cocky - or maybe it’s because he’s tired, maybe it’s because he’s only just started back training himself, maybe it’s a thousand different reasons - but Dream underestimates George a few too many times. 

It ends with him flat on his back, cursing under his breath as George stands above him smugly, and calling out a defeated, “half health!”

(It’s a lie. He’s on quarter health. That makes it more bitter.)

George crouches beside him, a smug smile playing about his face. “You look surprised,” he smirks, and then turns to Sapnap, who is also standing with his mouth agape, and then George scowls, “oh, come on. You didn’t think I’d win either?”

“In Dream’s defence,” Sapnap says, “you lose, like, ninety percent of the time.”

George looks offended, kicking at his best friend, who dodges with a grin. “You’re lying,” George says mournfully, “I’m better than both of you. You’re both lame.”

“Lame?” Sapnap complains. “Says the guy who loses all his good items every time he gets outta bed because I keep killing him. How am I the lame one?”

“Dream,” George wheedles, “defend me.”

Dream doesn’t reply. He yawns instead, tilting his head up and studying the roof of the Syndicate room sleepily. When it did at all, exhaustion has always hit him strongest and out of nowhere – he remembers curling up and falling asleep in the strangest of places as a child, only woken sleepily by Bad or Sapnap finding him hours later, and as old as the memory is, it’s comforting to him now.

“He’s dying,” George says gravely, “I killed him. Someone prepare the funeral.”

Sapnap laughs, covering his mouth and rolling his eyes. “Idiot.” He flops down beside Dream on the hay floor, tucking his arms behind his head and turning to his best friend with a mischievous look. “What was that, about not being tired?”

Dream stifles another yawn. “Maybe ‘m a little tired,” he admits, eyes heavy and warm, and Sapnap’s chuckle sits light in his stomach, “still not goin’ to bed, though. I’ve got to train.”

“Train by sleeping on the floor?” When Dream only grunts, Sapnap grins. “Yeah. That’s what I thought.”

George sits too, but places down a bed first, sitting down on it cross-legged and haughty. “I’m not sleeping on the floor. You two have fun, though.”

“How’d y’ beat me?” Dream mumbles, blinking sleepily. “I wasn’t expectin’ it.”

George looks pleased with himself. “Because I’m the best and you’re dogwater,” he says plainly, and then, seeing Sapnap’s eye roll: “And because you’re obviously tired. You can’t do any good training while you’re tired. Obviously. It’s, like, the first thing you learn in training.”

Dream chuckles, the sound heavy and warm. It’s been a while since he’s felt like this: he feels so normal, he feels like how he had felt pre-prison, pre-wars, pre-SMP – it’s nice. It’s really nice. “You’re an idiot.”

“Says you.” George returns, but it’s fond, and makes Dream’s eyes crinkle.

“I’m so sick of DNF,” Sapnap says dramatically, and Dream grins as Sapnap loops an arm around him, “time for Dreamnap. DN.”

“Deez nuts,” George yawns, closing his eyes, “goodnight, DN. Deez Nuts.”

He’s asleep before either Dream or Sapnap can comment. Clapping a hand over his mouth to stifle his laugh, Dream turns to Sapnap, who doesn’t look tired, but does gaze at him fondly. 

“Glad you’re resting, dude,” Sapnap tells him, “really. I know you hate me an’ George and Techno and stuff talking about it and stuff, but you’ll train better with sleep. You really will.”

Dream doesn’t argue. “I just feel like–” He shifts, trying to shake off some of his exhaustion. “I hate feeling like I’m useless. I hate sitting about doing nothing, I hate feeling like an invalid, or– or like I’m some kind of victim, you know?”

Sapnap sighs. “I know. And there’s nothing wrong with training. Hell, I’ll train with you. I want to. But you have to be patient with your body.”

He gestures to Dream’s leg-brace; to the cane, propped up awkwardly in the corner; to the tremor in his hands and the sunken skin of his cheeks. 

“Healing takes time, buddy.”

Buddy. Despite feeling defensive, Dream’s chest warms at the familiar nickname. “I… know,” he says, reluctantly, “I’m just not used to going slow.”

“Who said anything about going slow?” Sapnap laughs. “You went fast enough with George fighting him tonight. You’re not– I dunno, you’ve not suddenly forgotten how to fight. You just have to look after yourself a little better, man. And, you know. Let people help you from time to time.”

His oldest friend shoots him a fond look.

“You’re pretty shit at doing that, still. Even as a kid, you were dumb with that.”

Dream nudges him with a yawn. “I’m not dumb. You’re dumb.”

“You’re dumber.”

“You’re dumbest.”

“You’re the dumber-dumbest.”

“You’re… that multiplied by infinity.”

Sapnap scoffs. “Just go to sleep, dumbass.” There’s fondness layered into his voice. “G’night. I’m gonna kick your ass when you train tomorrow if you wake me before nine in the morning tomorrow.”

Nine? Dream tries not to look flabbergasted. “That’s so late.”

“Nine o’clock,” Sapnap says, “any earlier and I’ll literally just beat you up.”

Dream pouts, but turns away, tugging the blankets from George’s bed and wrapping them around himself. “G’night, Sap.” And then, after a long pause, he says, almost shyly: “Thanks. For helping.”

Sapnap doesn’t reply, but he does nudge him gently and fix his blankets, which is his code for don’t mention it. Dream, warm and content and so, so tired, lets himself drift off to sleep, deep and dreamless, for the first time in three days.

When he wakes the next morning, it’s eight in the morning, and Sapnap and George are still asleep beside him. Instead of jumping to his feet and rushing to get ready, Dream yawns, and lets himself drift back to sleep.

Another hour won’t hurt. Not when his best friends are there to support him.

[captainswan618]

Fully! Some people get really into tentoo and I understand for logistical reasons—the cast/crew completely changes, like COMPLETELY after s4–why they had to it’s just….so unsatisfying that is NOT the doctor!!!

Sorry it took me a minute to answer this - I realized I wasn’t really clear in my earlier post that I hadn’t actually finished the specials yet, just the regular season, so I was still holding out a bit of hope that they would fix it. (Btw one of the reasons I had hope was that I kept seeing that gifset of Rose and Ten saying “happy new year,” so I was pretty sure they would see each other again. I had successfully avoided reading the rest of the subtitles to avoid spoilers, so I didn’t know what that scene actually was, but now that I do, that hope is FUCKING HEARTBREAKING.) I knew there would be a new Doctor and everything after the specials, so idk how I thought they would fix it in that time, but yeah. Anyway, I didn’t want to see spoilers for the specials, so I avoided really reading the ask.

BUT NOW THAT I’M DONE I CAN RANT!

What the fuck even happened there???? Was it seriously supposed to be a happy ending for Rose?? Tentoo (lol at that name - I’ve seen “Tenthree” tossed around, I think as another name for Fourteen, and things are starting to fall into place 😂) was a clone of Ten, and not even an exact one. He had some of Donna’s human DNA, and we witnessed him make different decisions than Ten. He was a different person. I just can’t believe that Rose would be happy with an imperfect copy of the man she loved.

And that’s not even getting into how shitty the thing Ten said about her making Tentoo better was — as if Rose were just a tool to improve a different version of him, instead of being a full person who fell in love with that version of him, and who deserves to be happy.

Anyway, it’s all very muddled in my brain. I want Rose to be happy, but it honestly feels to me like a betrayal of her character if she’s happy with him, as if he can just neatly substitute for her Doctor. I guess I’ll just have to read a lot of fix-it fics, lol. (If anyone reading this has recs they are EXTREMELY WELCOME.)

[majorbaby]

Re: Your Retention Please MASH writers I am once again asking, have you even met Maxwell Q. Klinger?

Honestly, I think it’s a fair question because we see Klinger take on a lot of things that are cast off by other characters (gay banter with Hawkeye post-s3, being the dog one pets once Radar is gone, occasionally the buttmonkeyism that I enjoyed when it was Frank on the receiving end) or he’s molded to fit whatever agenda the show needs because while Klinger the character isn’t expendable, his characterization certainly is. This is how you end up with all of these late-seasons Klinger subplots and traits that either completely contradict everything we know about him or tbh, outright play into racial stereotypes. Like when he’s all of sudden really into  money-making schemes, or the weird friendship he strikes up with his exploitative boss, or when he takes a lot of racist, classist abuse from other characters (usually from Charles and sometimes Potter, but everyone gets a turn) lying down. This is the man who got into a fist-fight with Frank and then afterwards came back with a grenade to blow him up after Frank told him he couldn’t wear his lucky scarf. 

This disregard for his character is how you start off with Klinger in a dress*, gun-toting, back-talking, practically fire-breathing (and hella risk-taking, considering he is a Corporal) all over Majors Burns and Houlihan in the early years and end up at Your Retention Please. 

*I’ve read that Klinger stopped wearing dresses at Jamie Farr’s request which, while I respect his reasoning for that, I still feel we the audience and Klinger the character deserved a mourning period and a damn good, in-universe reason for him to have suddenly flipped like that especially after we saw the effect wearing the uniform has on him in Change of Command. 

Though he may not have the emotional weight that comes with being a drafted doctor forced to fix people up just to send them out to get hurt worse or possibly die, his belief in the utter uselessness of the army is indistinguishable from Hawkeye and Trapper’s (BJ too, but by the time he’s settled in, the army is in the crosshairs less and less and the Klinger character starts to waver) and anyway he’s affected by having been drafted in his own personal and no less tragic way. 

I’m on board with the way the recruiter goes after Klinger. First off, he goes after everyone. Secondly, it’s a common recruiting tactic, to this day, to go after the disenfranchised, the destitute and the desperate, particularly when those traits intersect with race. So there’s some realism in how hard the recruiter goes after Klinger - however, while I know that, these writers likely do not. There’s no race awareness going on. Par for the course. 

And let’s talk about that scene  with the recruiter for a moment: the slow music that sounds to me just the slightest bit sleazy. The way the recruiter doesn’t just offer a drink, he takes the empty glass from Klinger and places a full one in his hand and then he puts his arm around Klinger and leads him to sit down. The repeated closeups: the recruiter’s smile showing off his yellowed or missing teeth (nothing wrong with having imperfect teeth and idk if it was intentional, but it’s a common physical trait for a villain) and Klinger’s clearly zonked out expression. Klinger says, “You’re right... who are you.” and the recruiter responds again by being overly familiar, saying they’re buddies and that the army is his friend and family. Like if nothing else, I’ll give them this - there were numerous ways for us to read that this guy is a predator. It was appropriately unsettling, but my praise ends there. 

Maybe I could buy that Klinger might drunkenly agree to sign up Nope. I started typing it out and I got midway before I decided I would finish and then cross it out for dramatic effect. 

The writers forgot who main-cast member Klinger is yet I’m supposed to remember who Laverne is and believe that Klinger is so broken up about her leaving him after she’s already left him (3 seasons ago! hello???) that he decides to do something as drastic as signing up for the army, whether he’s drunk as a skunk or stone cold sober? I don’t buy it. I don’t buy it anymore than I would if it were Hawkeye in that position, but they figured it was easy enough to do such a thing to Klinger. I think he (Klinger) gets this plot because it can’t be given to Hawkeye, BJ or Charles, which is funny because one of those three flew off the handle when his wife got a job, so if there’s anyone I could see doing something very drastic (though, tbf, even then not as drastic as re-enlisting) if his wife were to leave him, it’s not Klinger.

Klinger wants to go home but he’s not overly specific about why. He doesn’t have the same attachment to Laverne as BJ does to Peg - he’s not cheating on Laverne but he says about as much about her as Trapper does about Louise. In addition to wanting to be home, I think Klinger, like Hawkeye, is philosophically opposed to war.

He has that very touching scene in War of Nerves where he’s actually given space to tell us why he doesn’t want to be in the army - and it’s way more essential than just ‘I want to go home’ - he does want to go home, but he also doesn’t want to be given orders to do something that would violate his beliefs and he works tirelessly to try to avoid that fate.  

In his dresses for 7 years, he’s a walking a protest, or as Sidney aptly puts it, “a monument to hope in size 12 pumps”. He does not believe in the mission of the army, opposes its authority over him and how powerless it renders him as people die around him - who does that remind you of? If you had to call any other character “a monument to hope”?

The other characters on the show are to different degrees opposed to war, with the exception of Frank but consider their reasoning - Margaret and Potter find the army fulfilling but are morally opposed to war, Charles is opposed to his life having been interrupted by the draft, BJ shows a great deal of compassion towards the wounded but his resentment towards the army also comes from how he’s been taken from his family (not a dig at BJ, completely valid for him to feel that way, it’s just different from what Hawkeye feels) and finally Hawkeye is opposed to the army I suspect long before he’s drafted and remains that way long after he goes home. 

Getting back to Your Retention Please, I have to pass on setting up Potter and Hawkeye to “rescue” Klinger from his bad decision. Hawkeye I’ll let slide - I have my reservations about the white saviour-y undertones but I’m more fine with Hawkeye being the (white) saviour here than I am with Potter, the regular army guy, getting to be the hero and undermining the anti-military message. 

And finally, i can’t accept this at all because we already have an in-character example of Klinger’s reaction to Laverne actually leaving him in Mail Call 3 - he deserts. He returns, blessedly not because he wants to ‘do the right thing’, but rather because he doesn’t want to be a fugitive. The icing on the cake is him declaring that when he does leave the army it’ll be the honourable way, via Section 8 - that’s Klinger!

Have you ever been upset that Larry Gelbart trolling-ly suggested that Hawkeye would become a right winger post-war? That’s how I feel about this episode and the difference is it actually happened, they really did that to Klinger. He deserved better.