#anyways. i promise i'll stop complaining | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lanadelnegan · 10 months

Note

Hi I’m kinda shy about this one. So the reader has been traveling with dead city cowboy Negan for awhile and she’s liked him for a long time but she’s a virgin and she wants him to take it.

Don't be shy bb, I am a slutttt for dead city Negan. Basically, think of this as if you were in Ginny's shoes, but you're 18.

Our Little Cabin

Dead City!Negan x Reader

Warnings: smut, 18+, NSFW, virgin reader, vaginal sex, fingering, family death (reader's mom), reader seduces the hell out of negan, extreme age-gap (reader is 18, negan is 50ish), masturbating (both), masturbating in front of Negan while he refuses to touch you, daddy-kink, breeding kink, cuddling, pure filth

A/n: If you like slow burn, sexual tension and a "hard to get" daddy Negan, this one is for you. I promise one day I'll finally write a fic without daddy-kink, but today is not that day.

"Can we go home now, Negan? My legs hurt." I complain, dragging my feet lazily through the leaves.

He stops and sighs, resting his hands on his hips. I stop too and stare at him. That damn cowboy hat.. I swear he wears it just to tease me.. and it's working.

"Yeah, doll. Sun'll be going down soon anyway."

"Ugh thank god." My head falls back dramatically and he chuckles as we start our way back.

Negan took me under his wing a few months ago when some assholes attacked Oceanside, killing my family and everyone I know. I was lucky - if you wanna call it that - enough to escape. I ran into Negan in the woods and it's just been me and him ever since. I'm thankful for him, considering I never had a dad or father figure growing up. My mom was my best friend.. and now she's gone. But at least I have him.

I've grown attached to Negan over the recent months.. But something feels.. different lately. I'm not sure what suddenly changed over the last few weeks, but I've caught myself imagining things about him that I shouldn't. Even touching myself to the thought of him. I feel so guilty afterwards, but I can't stop. I've never been with anyone.. never kissed anyone.. never touched anyone. And my body is screaming at me for it. I can't even look at him anymore without imagining what he looks like under his clothes.

"Why're you so quiet, kid?" He glances at me as we walk.

Ugh, I hate it when he calls me kid.

I shrug. "Just thinkin'."

"About?"

"Doesn't matter." And I've convinced myself it doesn't. I'll never be with someone romantically, because for one.. it's the apocalypse. It's not like I have a school full of hot boys lined up ready to ask me to prom. Not that I'd give them a chance anyway. I'd probably be more into the teachers. And second, the man I want would never think of me that way.

"That's not true."

"You don't even know what I'm thinking, so how can you say that?"

"Anything you think about - worry about - matters to me, y/n. So, spill."

We finally make it back to our little cabin. We've been staying in it for awhile, stocking it with food and supplies. No one has found us yet.. It's kinda nice. But I won't get used to it. Because nothing good lasts forever.

I throw myself on the couch dramatically, as if our walk that we've done a hundred times now could've killed me.

"I don't know... I just, I feel like most kids - people - my age have already experienced more in life that I have."

"Like?"

"Sex." I blurt before I can stop myself. I look to Negan to see his reaction, but he's surprisingly not that alarmed. His eyebrows are raised as he studies me, probably more shocked that I actually had the balls to say that in front of him.

"Listen, I don't really feel comfortable doing the whole birds and bees talk with you."

My cheeks turn pink with embarrassment and I nod disappointedly.

"Sorry, it's just.. I - no one's really talked to me about it before. My mom said she would when I was ready.. but then she.. she.." I fight back the tears. I hate crying. You can't come across weak in the times we live in and I've been forced to be strong my entire life.

He looks at me finally and sighs, holding his arm out for me to come snuggle next to him. It's not the first time he's held me as I've cried over my mom. Won't be the last.

I bury my head in his chest, sniffling, as his hand rubs my back.

"Alright, kid. What do you wanna know?" He gives in, feeling sorry for me.

"Well, I know how it works, but I guess I just wanna know what it feels like." I feel him tense underneath me as he adjusts himself awkwardly.

"No boyfriends at Oceanside?"

"There were boys.. but none that I was interested in."

"You'll find someone when the time is right. You're still young."

"Well you don't have anyone, and you're.. not young."

"Jeez, kid. Thanks." He chuckles. "I did have someone. A few someone's actually. Lost them all to this cruel world." He admits and my heart hurts for him.

"Well, you have me now." I get more comfortable, laying my head in his lap and looking up at him. He shifts uncomfortably but eventually relaxes and even strokes my hair lightly.

"Yeah, I do. And nothing is going to happen to you. You're safe with me, doll." Butterflies swirl around in stomach, but I know he doesn't mean that in the way I wish he did. He sees me as a kid.. hell, as his kid. For a moment my heart sinks from jealously at the "someones" he mentioned. Lucky bitches.

"...Negan.. does it.. feel good?" I blush a little.

"Sex? .....Yeah, doll. It fucking feels good."

"Will you.. show me?" I stare up at him innocently and his hand abruptly stops stroking my hair.

He bends over, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Time for bed, darlin'." He pushes me gently up and off his lap before standing and heading to his room. The cabin is small but we each have our own rooms. His is the smaller one, right across from mine. He wanted me to have the bigger one.

I sit on the couch, feeling defeated and stupid. What was I thinking. I relax on the couch for a little longer, choosing to read a book to take my mind off what just happened. After an hour of barely keeping my eyes open, I close the book and head down the hall towards my room. I stop in front of Negan's door, peaking through the crack. He always leaves his door a few inches open just so he can hear if anything happens. My eyes widen when I notice the sheets are barely covering the lower half of his legs, revealing the rest of his body. His tan torso is exposed, showing his peppery chest hair, and his black boxers are low on his waist. I restrain myself from not jumping him right then.

I eventually make my way back to my room and change out of my clothes, throwing on some shorts and a tank top to sleep in. I can't get the image of Negan's body out of my head and find my hand slowly making its way towards my aching center once I'm finally in bed. I close my eyes, imaging Negan between my legs as I touch myself. I don't bother suppressing my moans, confident that Negan is fully asleep. "Mmm, Negan!" The sound of his name rolling off my tongue as I'm pleasuring myself brings me closer to the edge.

"Oh, Negan. Right there!" My door suddenly swings open and I snap my eyes open to see a worried Negan standing in my doorway.. still in his boxers. My hand flies out of my shorts and I throw the sheets over me.

"Oh my god, can you knock?!"

"I - you yelled for me." He says flustered. I notice the way his face reddens when he realizes what I was doing.

I gently pull the covers off me again and spread my legs a little.

"What are you doing, y/n?" He stands in front of me at the doorway, refusing to look at anything other than my eyes. That's okay.. I bet I can make him look at me down there. I like the challenge.

"What's it look like?" My bite the tip of my finger seductively at him before sliding my shorts to the side, completely revealing my pussy to him.

He glances down with a serious look across his face, like he can't believe I'm doing this. And neither can I. This is so unlike me, but I'm so desperate for him I don't even know how to control myself anymore.

The fact that he's still watching encourages me to continue. I use one hand to pull my shorts to the side and the other to slowly slide a finger through my wet slit. "I just wanna know what it feels like, daddy."

I study him closely, noticing the way his jaw ticks at the nickname. My eyes travel lower and I see his bulge through his boxers. It looks so big, but I'd be determined to make it fit no matter what.

My finger dips inside of me and I arch my back a little and moan, putting on a show for him. He stands with his back against the wall, refusing to move.

I start rubbing my clit slowly and get frustrated when he still isn't reacting. "Negan, please touch me."

He rubs a hand down his face with frustration. "Goddamn it, y/n."

"I just.. I need you. Please." I cringe at my desperate attempt to have him touch me. I need this man so bad it's embarrassing.

"I can't, baby."

"But you like watching me, don't you?"

I take it as a yes when he doesn't say anything and that's all I need before pushing myself over the edge. "Negan!" I cry out as my orgasm rushes through me. Even in the dark, I can see the lust burning through his eyes.

"Go to bed, y/n." He demands but I'm unable to read his tone. Is he mad, proud, annoyed?

I fall asleep at the thought of him giving in and touching me. Maybe if I think hard enough, I'll manifest it.. I heard that shit really works.

Negan's POV:

That girl is gonna be the fucking death of me.

She's been so flirty with me lately and I've been trying to ignore it. But fuck if she's not making it hard. Literally.. I'm hard as a fucking rock right now.

I refuse to touch my dick while thinking about her. She's thirty-fucking-three years younger than me for fuck's sake.

She's confused. She doesn't want me, and she damn sure isn't getting me. Apocalypse or not, it's still fucking wrong.

I drag a hand down my face and sigh. I shouldn't have watched her, but I couldn't look away. She flashed her fucking pussy right in my face and I just stood there.. watching her. Fuck me.

My dick is throbbing and I know I won't be able to sleep until I get some relief. "Fuck it."

I pull myself out of my boxers and immediately start stroking my dick. I think about anything but.. her. Fuck.. y/n. That pretty little wet pussy dripping right in front of me. The way she said my name when she came.

"Ahh, fuuuck. Y/n, fuck." I cum hard and fast and immediately regret it afterwards. Fuck is wrong with me.

I can't - and I won't let myself think about her like that again.

Y/n's POV:

I wake up before Negan and decide to read my book some more in the living room. It's a romance novel that I found one day in an abandoned car. I've read it four times already, but it seems to be the only romance I'll ever get in life, so why the fuck not.

"Morning, sunshine." Negan says sleepily as he walks towards the kitchen next to the living room. He grabs a handful of berries we picked yesterday and tosses them in his mouth before making me a cup full and putting them down next to me.

"Morning. Thanks." I say without looking at him.

He sits on the couch next to me. "You wanna talk about last night?"

My cheeks redden. "Nope."

"Okay, then I will." Great, here comes the lecture. "Y/n, I shouldn't have watched you. We both know that. But, I think you're just confused. It's just been the two of us for months now and you're all young and.. fucking horny and shit. But, us? It can't happen."

I stay silent, pretending to read my book.

"Seriously? The silent treatment? You sure did have a lot to say last night."

I remain stubbornly quiet, popping a handful of berries in my mouth.

"Y/n, I don't understand why you're upset right now. Talk to me."

"I'm not upset." I snap. "I'm embarrassed.. humiliated. I was stupid to think you'd ever be into me."

He sighs and I see his head drop out of the corner of my eye. "Darlin', if I was your age, I'd be all fucking over you. Trust me. Please don't be embarrassed, okay? You are hot as shit and any man your age would be lucky to have you. We can forget it happened if that's what you want." He holds his arm out again, and like always, I snuggle into him.

"I don't want to forget." My hand rests against his white t-shirt and I want so badly to slide underneath it and run my fingers through is tummy hair.

A moment of silence goes by before he finally whispers. "Me neither, doll."

I look up at him, my face dangerously close to his. "I love you, Negan."

His hand reaches up to caress my face as if he's scared to hurt me. "I love you too, baby... Just not like that."

He wipes the tear that falls from my cheek and my heart shatters in my chest.

One month later...

My feelings for Negan haven't faded; I'm just better at not showing them. We've been more touchier than usual... cuddling on the couch, holding hands when we walk, but nothing "inappropriate." We also haven't mentioned that night. It's like it never happened, which still hurts when I think about it.

I get done bathing myself off after dinner and slip into my usual sleepwear before crashing to the bed and pulling my book from the nightstand. I could quote every line in it by now.

I start to drift off right before a loud boom hits right outside my window, following a bright flash of lightning. I try to fall asleep, but every time I doze off, another loud boom jolts me awake. I toss and turn for an hour before deciding to do something I know I shouldn't.

I crack Negan's door open slowly, trying not to wake him and gently slip into bed next to him. I also may or may not have taken my sleep shorts off, leaving me in just my pink panties and black tank top. I ease underneath the covers and lay facing him. He's usually a light sleeper, so between the thunder and me sneaking into his bed, I'm surprised he's not awake.

I'm completely still for a good ten minutes, making sure he's still sound asleep before I make any movements. When he lets out a little snore, I slowly slide the blanket down off of him. I imagine myself reaching over and running my fingers through his thick chest hair. I keep sliding the covers down further and further, careful not to wake him, until I get to just below the waistband of his boxers. My eyes trail from the deep v in his abdomen to the black hairs peaking above his underwear and I let myself imagine what it would be like to touch him right now.. to slide my hand down his boxers and feel him. I've wondered how big he is for so long.. trying to steal glimpses of him through his pants when he walks, or catch him with the covers down while he's sleeping.

I decide to pull the covers slightly further down and my mouth gapes open at the sight. He's hard.. so hard that I can see the outline of him through his boxers as it threatens to poke through his underwear. My mouth waters at his size and I know if he ever put it in me, it would definitely hurt like hell.

After I've stared at it long enough to feel like a total creep, my eyes travel back up his body and I almost yelp when I see his head is slightly turned and his eyes are watching me curiously, as if he's been waiting for me to make a move.

"I - uh.. The thunder.. I got scared." I explain.

"Nice try, kid. Go back to bed."

"Negan, please. Just let me sleep here. Nothing weird, I just.. don't wanna be alone."

He sighs and that alone tells me he's going to let me. I hide my excitement as I turn over, facing away from him and snuggling into the covers. They smell like him.. musk and leather.. and the scent makes me practically feral. He's still on his back, but my ass is barely touching his side. It's hardly anything, and it's not like we haven't cuddled before, but the thought of my ass so close to him sets my insides on fire.

Another lightning strike hits outside his window this time and I flinch a little, not purposely meaning for my ass to press into him even more. He doesn't react and I wonder if he's already asleep.

"Negan...?" I say softly.

"Hm?"

"Will you hold me?"

"Y/n, you are seriously pushing it. Go to sleep."

a few minutes go by before another boom echoes in the distance and I jump a little again.

He sighs heavily and turns over, draping his arm over my waist and pressing his body firmly against mine. His dick is pressed against my ass, but it's not as hard anymore... and that hurts a little.

"Go to fucking sleep."

I hold his hand tightly against my lower stomach and embrace this moment with him. I want him so bad that I can literally feel my vagina throbbing. If it could speak, it would be meowing like a cat in heat right now. I close my eyes and imagine him sliding in me from behind. I get a little too lost in the thought and accidentally arch a little, grinding my ass further into him. I feel him grow to full length against me and the feeling is enough for me to squeeze my legs together, desperate for some pressure down there.

"Where the fuck are your shorts?" He says in a deep and sleepy voice.

I giggle as he breathes heavily into my neck before whispering again.

"What the hell am I gonna do with you, baby?"

"Touch me?"

"I'm already touching you, y/n. My fucking dick is basically between your ass cheeks."

"Not yet.. my panties are in the way." I slip my panties off my legs smoothly and discard them on the floor.

"Y/n." He warns but before he can tell me no, I'm bare from the waist down and pressing my ass back against him.

"Trying to give this old man a heart attack?" He chuckles deeply.

"I can try harder than that if you want me to." I tease.

"Fuck, baby. Go to sleep before I do something we'll both regret."

"Like what?"

"...Like pound that pussy so fucking good you'll never think about another man's cock but mine."

"If you love me, wouldn't you want to be the one to give that to me for the first time? Wouldn't you rather it be you than some asshole who doesn't care about me."

He doesn't answer, so I keep pressing him. I place my hand back on top of his resting against my stomach and slowly slide it lower towards my aching center.

"Don't start something you can't finish, darlin'."

"Oh, I'm very determined to finish." I spread my legs apart slightly to guide his hand over my wet center. His middle finger easily slides between my slippery folds and we both moan at the feeling.

"Goddamn. Fucking dripping for daddy. He growls in my ear before leaning up a little and pressing his lips to my neck from behind. I move my hand from his, letting him take control - finally.

His finger moves back and forth between my wet slit, gliding over my clit every few seconds and making me moan each time. His other hand slips under me and up to my neck, gently squeezing my throat.

"This what you wanted, baby?" He breathes in my ear and chills spread over every inch of my skin.

I nod quickly as I feel my orgasm build from just his light touch. He hasn't even put a finger in me and I'm already on the verge of tears.

As soon as his finger rubs tiny circles over my clit, I lose it.. moaning out for him.

"Thaaat's it, cum for daddy, babygirl."

"Negan!" I scream out as his hand goes from my neck to my mouth, muffling the sound.

"Don't need the dead hearing us, doll."

He kisses my neck once I've soaked his fingers and then brings them to his mouth.

"Mmm, fuck, this pussy tastes so good I might have to eat it everyday."

I turn around in his arms to face him. My hand goes up to hold his face and my fingers play with his gray hair. He kisses my forehead before meeting my gaze.

"This is so wrong, baby." He strokes my cheek gently.

"Can't be wrong if it feels this good."

He tilts my chin up to press his lips against mine. It's so much better than I ever imagined. He knows exactly what he's doing, and even though I've never kissed anyone, he takes the lead and I'm thankful for it. I moan into his mouth when he deepens the kiss, his hand gripping the back of my neck now. The feeling of is tongue in my mouth makes me clench my legs again, and I think he notices because his hand on my neck travels lower until it reaches the back of my thigh. He lifts my leg over his and his hand slides to my ass, squeezing lightly before his long fingers tease my entrance from behind.

His dick is pressed into me painfully and I can't wait any longer. I need to touch him. Feel him inside me.

I reach my hand inside his boxers and pull out his big, hard cock. I try looking at it under the covers between us.

"You've never seen a dick before, doll?"

I shake my head no and admire him. It's so perfect.

He closes his eyes as I stroke it. "Fuck. So innocent, baby."

He kisses my neck while I pull on him even more. "You sure you want this, baby?"

I nod. "Yes, please. I've been wanting this for so long, Negan."

He lines himself up at my opening, my leg still draped over his so that he's in between my legs.

"Once we do this, you're mine darlin'."

"I'm already yours."

That's all he needs to hear to finally push the tip past my opening. I've never had anything inside of me other than a finger, and the feeling of his thick head pushing through me and stretching my walls has my mouth falling open.

"Tell me to stop, baby."

"No, keep going. Please." I beg.

He slides deeper and deeper until he's buried inside me completely. He stays still, letting me adjust. and kisses me through the pain. A pain that feels so good. I kiss him back hard, scratching his back while grinding my waist pathetically against him repeatedly. I moan in his ear and give him the go ahead to start moving. He fucks me deep and slow at first, letting me get used to him.

"So fucking tight baby."

He growls in my ear and vibration of his deep voice sends chills through me again until my pussy flutters around him.

"Holy fuck, doll. Do that again."

I squeeze my cunt around him again and he lets out the hottest moan I've ever heard. Not that I've heard a man moan before, but I just know that his are the hottest.

"I won't last if you keep doing that, baby." He warns and the thought of him shooting his load inside me has my head spinning.

After a few more thrusts that have my eyes rolling to the back of my head, I feel myself reaching my orgasm again and hold him against me so I can grind against him and ride it out.

"Negan, Negan, oh my god.” I breathe out as I push myself so hard against him that my clit rubs against his pubic bone creating the friction I need to send me over the edge.

"Goddamn." He thrusts into me faster and harder. "Gonna make me fucking cum already, baby." He tries to pull out but you tighten your leg around him so he can't pull away.

"Cum in me, Negan. Please." I cry desperately. "I love you. I want all of you."

He kisses me hard before his hips come to a halt. He practically yells out when he shoots his load deep inside me. "Ah, fuck! Babyyy."

The sound of Negan cumming is even hotter than his moaning from earlier - I didn't think it could get any better but holy shit. We're both a tangled, sweaty mess while our hearts beat out of our chest.

We eventually fall asleep with our lips still touching and his softening dick still inside me.

I don't even worry about the possibility of what could happen in the future.. I know I'm safe with Negan.. Here in our little cabin. He gently strokes my hair as we drift back off to sleep.

BOOM. The thunder crashes outside again, but this time I don't even flinch.

"You're not scared of thunder, are you, doll?"

I smile against his chest. "...No."

The End.

Brb, going to take an ice bath.

2K notes · View notes

luvring · 5 months

Text

gn!reader | iwaizumi will do a lot of things if you ask, but he's always a little awkward and embarrassed about taking photos of himself. what angle does he use, why's the lighting so bad, this is his "no one will see me" t-shirt, does his smile look forced, etc, etc., which means you only ask every once and a while, mostly as a joke, and never mind when he brushes it off with a laugh.

so when you open your messages to see an unprompted selfie of him, blurry, sitting in dim light, cheeks flushed and biting his lip to stop a grin, shocked is one word you can use to describe yourself. apparently drunk hajime is different from sober hajime, and confident enough to send a second, third photo capturing his night out with his old teammates at karaoke.

and you're not sure if it was their idea or his, but you really can't bring yourself to complain when he accidentally sends a video instead of a photo that perfectly frames his slightly unbuttoned top, messy hair that he runs his fingers through (he's brought up needing a haircut every week for the past month, but keeps pushing off setting an appointment), and raspy laugh as he tells someone off screen to shut up and sing already before turning to you with a smile.

"oh, shit, it's a video."

"pft, are you really that drunk?"

"hiii," someone—you think tooru—singsongs your name.

another complains, his voice muffled by your boyfriend moving the camera, "ugh, can you move over?"

"hi babe." hajime's low, slurred voice brings your attention back to him. "i got 94 on m'last song, jus' so y'know.

"let it go! that was all luck—"

"shut up, it's not my fault y'got 67 and sound like a dying bird. ugh," he seems to lose his train of thought and sniffles. "uh...don't worry, issei's driving m'back. i'll tell you 'bout it when i get home. see you soon, alright? love you."

the video ends, cutting off the beginning of a voice crack and off-pitch note, and the responding cackle that momentarily fills the quiet of your living room.

it's not a hard decision to save everything he's sent to your phone. the real hard decision will be tomorrow, you think, when you have to decide between teasing him to death or helping with his hangover. but then you get another notification—another text from him that reads "Cany ou tell them i'm not gonna sing adell" and you smile.

you can probably do both.

(he does end up singing, but so does everyone else. the video you get is way too loud, and way too close to the microphone, and the phone falls to the floor at some point, but it's saved to your gallery anyway. he makes you promise not to play it the next morning because it's "so headache inducing he could explode.")

#luvring.txt #haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #draws hearts with a glittery pen around his name...Iwaizumi....#i keep trying to make rlly short drabbles but theyre always a little longer than intended....hrrrnnnnghh

824 notes · View notes

ferrstappen · 11 months

Text

max, the wag (for the third time) l Max Verstappen x reader

a/n: i was in the middle of writing this when news of Danny coming back to the grid!!! omg I'm so happy of seeing RIC and listening to his radios and everything, it wasn't the same without him <3

also, about requests. Please keep sending them, I've LOVED all the reqs I've gotten but right now im getting ready for my bar exam in a couple of weeks so my time is super super limited, but I promise I'll get to most of them (bc imsorry there are some reqs that I really can't connect with) after the exam, it's one of the things I'm looking forward to <3 but for now this kind of mediocre story telling will have to do...

ANYWAY, HOPE YOU LIKE THIS INSTALLMENT! you can find part 1 and 2 on the master list <3

summary: the continuation of your favorite paddock couple.

Max arrived to the track by himself.

If he was being honest, it wasn’t on his plans to walk alone with the photographers, Red Bull marketing team snatching him for stuff right after he swapped his credential. Even from far away he was able to hear chants of fans and more media than usual.

But you weren’t right there next to him.

He knew it wasn’t your fault, Silverstone not being a track where he was usually welcomed with opened arms and he was aware of you not wanting to be too in the eye of photographers who didn’t make questions to you, but there still were different WAGs and outfits or whatever accounts tracking your every step, especially with the new wave of partners and sudden break ups and polemics.

Still, the selfish part of him wanted you to enter the track with him, even if it was a few steps ahead or behind him, holding your hand and smiling as you complained about the amount of credentials you had to carry: the usual green VIP Paddock, Red Bull something. You’d think after all these years they’d know me, you’d say and he’d laugh.

On the other hand, you finished getting ready and called the front desk to get a taxi to get there, feeling a bit guilty of letting Max go on his own, especially when there were more eyes on the track with Brad Pitt being there and a lot of important people who’d want to talk with him all day.

Texting Max to let him know you were already by the guests entrance waiting when you noticed some intense flashes getting near. You’d been around a time or two to know this wasn’t usual, maybe in Miami but not when you were on the abandoned back entrance, not very glamorous and low key.

But you saw her…

Shakira, are you visiting Lewis?

Who are you cheering today?

Shakira, third Grand Prix of the year!

Did you talk to Lewis before? Is he nervous?

Your eyes followed her, mouth opening when you followed her small frame, exuding class and sympathy, even Alexandra who was also making her entrance stopped to get a closer look of the Colombian bombshell.

Of course, they didn’t ask her to show and get accredited, she just walked by with a radiant smile leaving paparazzi behind as she kept talking with the friend she came with.

But wasn’t that a Haas credential?

It didn’t matter, it wasn’t important, because right then your brain made the connections and started dialing Max while nervously biting your polished nails.

“Baby, everything okay? Are you already inside?” Max answered, but his words were quiet and rushed.

“Yes, but you’re never going to believe…”

“I’m sorry we have a meeting, please don’t go to the paddock, go straight to the driver’s lounge, okay? Love you”

He hung up and you wanted to pull your hair out, knowing he is the one and only person you wanted to share this information with, and you were also certain he was the only person who would truly appreciate the gossip and speculation about his fellow driver’s love life.

Max was able to leave the meeting almost forty minutes later, getting outside for some air until he remembered your call and that you probably were bored to death on the lounge. He was turning around to go there when…

When he saw the one and only Shakira in all of her glory.

He wasn’t starstruck or anything, being immune to celebrities and the imaginary pedestal where most people placed them, but this wasn’t about that, it was about the way she was supposedly hiding under a cap walking towards the Mercedes garage.

He covered his mouth and hastily made his way to you.

You didn’t greet each other with the usual peck on the lips and short hug; his slightly widened blue eyes told you exactly what you needed to know as he opened the door to his small room.

“Please tell me that you saw her!” You said as soon as he closed the door.

“Yes, just now she was walking to Mercedes,” Max was whisper shouting as if someone would hear him and it was the highest of secrets.

“Did you see Lewis?” You asked Max but he said no. “What if you try to ask Brad Pitt if he saw her and like if they’re friends… with Shakira?” This time both you and your boyfriend laughed at the idea.

"I did see Sainz trying to go unnoticed with a tall brunette,do you think she is the new girlfriend?" Max asked and you nodded.

"I'm pretty sure he cheated on Isa with her, and I am almost certain she was in the Paddock Club in Monaco during qualifying," Max whistled at the new information.

Now he kissed you, lips fitting perfectly against each other, but your eyes suddenly opened and separated from him. What? Why? What happened? Max was disconcerted.

“Please don’t laugh at me because this is a serious idea…” You told Max who had your entire attention. “What if we write to Deuxmoi?”

“Deux what?”

“They have all the inside scoops and sightings, even your name’s popped up once or twice,” Max’s eyebrows rose at the information. “We should write that Shakira was seen on the British Grand Prix and I am one hundred percent sure someone will have more information!” You proposed and Max chuckled.

“Schatz, I can just ask Lewis why she’s here,” Max told you before embracing you, his arms circled around your waist.

You rolled your eyes before resting your head on his chest, but suddenly it hit you, swiftly lifting your head and facing Max.

“Then why haven’t you asked him yet?!”

#max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen au #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen #max verstappen blurb #max verstappen x you #max verstappen series #f1 fic #f1 masterlist #f1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

2K notes · View notes

elleloquently · 1 month

Text

the wretched and joyful [ 3 ] : ellie williams

ellie williams x female reader | angst + slowburn

masterlist

───⋆☆ And what the hell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends - This doesn't make much sense, no ♪

───⋆☆ All those sleepless nights - And all those wasted days - I wish loneliness would leave me - But I think it's here to stay ♪

| a/n - depending on how well this does, i'll decide if i'll be posting the rest of this fic or just leaving it here. thank you for your patience waiting for part three... please share ur thoughts bc that's my favorite part! i wrote this a little tipsy bc i wanted to get the right pacing of drinking so hopefully u get the vibe hehe | c/w - swearing, alcohol used as a coping mechanism, drinking, very small emetophobia warning! brief mention of sick (not detailed whatsoever), and a tiny dash of nsfw

you twirled and twirled in front of your dusted vanity mirror. the skirt that addie had made you was doing wonders.

you felt pretty.

what a ridiculous thing to say in this type of world.

the sky was streaked with orange, the promise of darkness growing closer by the second.

your stomach was in knots as you walked down the road. you tried to muster up excitement, telling yourself that was the reason for your shivers and shaking hands. if you forced it hard enough, perhaps it would be true.

perhaps you were a little too eager to drink, anything to numb your feelings or make you feel easy going, at least for a little while.

typically, you didn't like to drink much. you hated the taste, the way it constantly made you gag no matter how much you tried to like it. you hated feeling sick, too.

now, that didn't matter too much. if you were terribly sick the next day, so be it. maybe the sickness was the punishment that you deserved, and you decided that you would let it be.

dina's laughter echoed around you. you weren't sure what was said, but the ghost of a smile etched itself onto your lips anyway.

you pulled your gaze away from your feet, looking upwards to dina's grinning face instead. you had just caught the last second of a worried expression crossing jesse's face beforehand.

"stop dragging your feet," ellie complained, brushing your arm with her own. your skin responded almost instantly with chills. you could blame it on the cold weather, a cardigan wrapped protectively around your shoulders and arms. the days were certainly warming up, but the crisp air at night was an unforgiving reminder of the harsh winter everyone had struggled through.

you grumbled something inaudible in response, falling in line with your friends.

the four of you, a group of twenty somethings walking along almost happily as if the night could hold some sort of promise.

some older residents of jackson might chuckle, joking about staying out of trouble with a shake of their head. almost immediately their smiles would fall, remembering their own youth and how realistically, nobody would ever get to experience something like that again.

the light peeking through the tipsy bison ignited the fire in your nerves. jesse held the door open and you huddled in, giggling at the way seth loudly groaned once he set eyes on you and the three friends that followed. it almost could've been endearing if he wasn't such a piece of shit.

two older men sat at the bar turned and gave polite smiles as ellie claimed a rounded table in the corner. otherwise, it was pretty quiet. not for long.

"you look so cute," dina gushed in your ear, brushing her hands over your shoulder. "mrs. hollis really is a gem."

your lips slipped into a smile, cheeks burning. "thanks," you breathed out, looking at ellie out of the corner of your eye.

she had teased you quite a few times for saving a clothing item for a special occasion, but it didn't matter much. if you didn't go out of your way to try and make things special, how would they ever be?

dina pushed your back into the direction of the table where ellie and jesse were settling in. "go, sit. drink. be happy, or merry, or.. whatever they say."

you moved to the table as dina crossed to the bar. ellie's gaze raised, patting the seat next to her.

"hi," you said, sliding into the high top.

"so glad you could join us," jesse replied, charming and awkward and obviously testing the waters. he kept glancing between yourself and ellie and you wished he wouldn't. you hadn't even told him anything.

"you look pretty," ellie remarked, as if it were the most casual thing in the world that she could say. you felt feverish.

you opened your mouth to respond, but jesse drummed his fingers against the table.

"better go help my girl with our drinks," he announced, making things worse when he quickly stood up from the table.

"they're disgusting," ellie mumbled, watching as he joined dina and instantly snaked an arm around her waist.

you turned to look at ellie, watching as she watched jesse and dina. "you love them," you disagreed. "i'm glad they're back together."

"yeah. me too," ellie replied.

her tone sounded distant, causing your eyebrows to furrow as you turned and scooted closer to ellie. "what's the matter?" you questioned, just as music started playing throughout the bar. you both looked up at the same time, watching dina and jesse carrying drinks to your table. you wondered which was the one to sweet talk seth into turning on the music. you were almost certain that it had been jesse.

ellie went for her glass instantly, to which you glanced at her once again out of concern. surely though, you couldn't blame her. she had seemed so stressed lately. so.. tense. more than usual, at least.

jesse's filled glass matched ellie's, a flavor you certainly could never develop a taste for, no matter how troubled you were.

you stared down at your own beverage, swallowing hard. you could already taste it without even taking a sip. the anticipation was surely making it worse.

"cheers," you said suddenly, making your joke obvious by the way that you lifted your drink of choice. "to the happy couple."

dina groaned, reaching across the table to smack playfully at your hand.

"enough with that," dina pressed, but still tapped her glass against your own.

"cheers to this week of patrol being fucking over," ellie chimed in, sharing a knowing look with dina.

you wanted to ask about it, but the way that both of the girls took a long drink after the statement made you keep quiet.

the first sip was the hardest part. you knew how bad it would taste. you forced a straight face and took the biggest drink that you could manage. you swallowed down a cough, which didn't go unnoticed by jesse. he laughed, but didn't tease you.

falling into conversation was easy for your friends. you half listened, mostly focusing on the alcohol in front of you. it wasn't right, you knew that, but you wanted to get the drinking part over with quickly so you could just land at the end result.

get it over with.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"-don't you think?"

you tore your eyes upwards, wanting to locate the face that belonged to the voice just as you heard your name being impatiently called.

"i said, don't you think? you agree, right?"

ellie was looking at you expectantly.

"yeah. yeah, of course," you found yourself saying.

"oh jesus christ," ellie groaned, shaking her head.

"we've lost her," jesse concluded and you scrambled to sit up straighter in your seat.

"no, you haven't," you forced out. you had been preoccupied, but not lost. maybe your mind had just taken you for hostage, a thought repressed with every sip that you forced down.

your cheeks were starting to feel a little warm, but you were still painfully aware of ellie's body heat next to you and the way that you kept fidgeting with your hair.

"can you really blame him, ellie?" dina continued, not letting your short blip disrupt the conversation. "he just cares about you, that's all."

ellie snorted, and you knew the topic needed to change fast.

"can i try?" you questioned all of a sudden, eyes flicking to the glass held tightly in ellie's hand.

"you don't like it," she reminded you softly, the change in her tone genuinely catching you off guard.

"maybe i do now," you pressed, grateful for the way that dina and jesse began their own conversation from their side of the table. you scooted a little closer to ellie, as much as your chair could allow without swaying. you moved to grab the drink from ellie, but instead she raised the glass to your lips and tilted it. you took a careful sip, eyes scrunching shut as the flavor hit your tongue.

ellie laughed, moving away from you and taking a sip of her own. "that's what i thought," she mumbled, shaking her head with a smile.

"whatever, i'm empty. anyone need a refill?" you announced. it was maybe the third or second round of drinks, you couldn't tell who had what once drinks had started to be shared.

"please," dina grinned, sliding her own cup across the table for you to grab.

you nodded once in acknowledgment before attempting to hop off of the chair. it ended up being more of a slide, steadying yourself with one hand gripping the edge of the table.

"shit," you murmured, standing up straight and collecting the glasses in your hands.

clearly, you had underestimated things. it was only made apparent once you were standing up and moving.

you took focused steps, walking over to the bar and inwardly groaning as seth was very obviously trying not to make eye contact with you. he absolutely hated you, which wasn't much of a loss.. but still humiliating under the circumstances in which the negative feelings arose.

"you gonna drink me out of my own fucking bar again?" seth asked harshly, causing you to wince in reply. you simply shook your head, gesturing to have the cups refilled.

it had been two winters ago, maybe. a close call with ellie at an awkward sleepover had you running to the bison for something to help you cope. you shouldn't have been drinking anyway but you did and seth yelled at you, saying there wasn't going to be any alcohol left for the rest of the town.

the next day, you were horribly sick and ashamed. you spent the day throwing up, wallowing in your own pity.

you had told ellie that you had thought maybe you had the flu.

you debated on ignoring him altogether or making a witty quip, but you took too long to decide and the moment passed.

"just two of the same, please," you mumbled, setting the two glasses in front of him.

seth looked at you and breathed out heavily, squinting his eyes. whatever he wanted to say, he held back as he wordlessly refilled the glasses for you. once returned you smiled, or maybe grimaced, and began to turn away before a nagging idea entered your mind.

you drank, quickly, and had your glass filled once more. it only took a matter of seconds, and you had been convinced that was the last step required to rid yourself of the rather unforgiving thoughts plaguing your brain.

like nothing more even happened, you turned as quickly as possible to the table and made your way back to your friends without spilling any drops.

their boisterous laughter caused the appearance of a frown on your lips. a fear of missing out, why were they laughing so wildly now, once you weren't present for the conversation?

"what're you talking about?" your eyebrows furrowed together as you balanced your body back onto the chair.

"nothing," ellie shook her head, her lips slipping into an amused smile.

"that's not nice," you murmured, cheeks warm as dina reached across the table to grab her drink. "you're leaving me out."

"never," ellie responded, her voice dipping low into a mumble. her hand gently squeezed your forearm, reassuringly.

ellie's touch was gone as quickly as it had came and you held your drink up to your lips, hiding the flustered manner in which your lips twisted about.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie really was trying to focus on whatever jesse was going on about, but your cardigan kept slipping off of your shoulders and your laugh was ringing above the conversation.

her gaze kept wandering to where you were sat next to her, fidgeting with your fingers as you enthusiastically nodded along to the conversation. ellie could tell that you were drunk, or very quickly approaching it, by the way in which you were allowing yourself to fully ramble at the table instead of carefully thinking over and choosing your words.

truthfully, wholeheartedly, ellie adored the way in which you lit up when you told a story.

she leaned back in her seat, hand resting carelessly against her glass as she became more interested in your story than what she was meant to be listening to.

ellie could also tell when you were tipsy, at the very least, because you seemed to be a lot more prone to physical touch. every few seconds your elbow found itself bumping against ellie's. a hand on an arm, a head rested on a shoulder, your head in her lap.

you threw your head back while you laughed, a genuine, nose scrunched type of laugh. ellie quickly tore her eyes away and nearly choked on her drink when your head landed on her shoulder.

"you okay?" ellie mumbled. she might've accidentally interrupted dina, but ellie's words were quiet anyway. her body was tense at the contact and she found herself reaching for her glass once again, fingertips gripping at the rim.

you nodded, your cheek bumping against ellie's shoulder but your words came out in response to dina.

"-and did you see cat's new tattoo?" you asked, your eyes widening in an expression that ellie thought looked like awe.

"no," dina guffawed, and ellie felt you nod again.

"wait, another?" jesse questioned suddenly, and finally ellie had an excuse to join into your conversation.

a bigger gulp of alcohol burned its way down ellie's throat and she swore that she could feel her face flush.

you sat up suddenly, stomach nearly slamming against the table edge as you pushed yourself forward. your laugh was breathy now, as if it had taken all of the effort in the world for you to sit straight. you slapped your hand over your own shoulder blade in explanation. "right there," you clarified.

"what was it?" jesse asked, and ellie noticed that his face was looking a little red as well.

you shrugged. "i didn't get that good of a look," you sighed. "but it's probably something cool."

"damn," dina said wistfully. "she's cool."

ellie scoffed. "bullshit, i have never heard you say that cat's cool."

"what's wrong with cat?" jesse pipped in. you curiously raised an eyebrow, and ellie tried hard not to look at you.

"nothing," ellie defended. "but dina definitely never used to think cat was cool. you used to say quite the opposite, actually."

"did i?" dina teased. "i've never had a problem with her. you guys just weren't right for each other," she completed, settling seriously as her gaze met ellie's.

ellie could feel your eyes on her, and she could very nearly anticipate some smart remark from jesse. dina's gaze was practically unsettling, how intense it was all of a sudden. there was something there, something knowing between herself and dina. ellie brought her glass to her lips once more, a cop out from having to reply.

just like that, the gaze was avoided. your arm bumped against ellie's as you sank down in defeat.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

how had you ever been sad?

the music had been turned up louder, louder than seth's grumbles and protests. it was something old, something with a lot of guitar that sounded like people would dance in boots to. ellie had rolled her eyes and swatted at you after your attempted description, but you didn't mind. you knew it was silly. the alcohol was too strong for you to mind.

you danced with dina, feeling like the most radiant person in the world while your skirt swished around your ankles. your own laughter sounded far away, echoing in your ears. your cheeks genuinely hurt from smiling, and if anyone were to place a hand across your forehead, surely you would feel feverish.

cardigan forgotten, your sleeves had been bunched up between your elbows and wrists. you twirled and twirled, laughing hysterically as your arms got tangled with dina's. you could hear ellie and jesse laughing too, somewhere far away and hazy. you knew in the back of your mind that they were laughing at you, but you didn't mind. you laughed along anyway.

the burn in your throat that tempted a gag with each sip was subdued. each taste no longer prompted a wince, which resulted in probably a sip too many.

you were happy. beaming, even. couldn't you feel like this forever?

time passed in seconds and years while you were drinking in the tipsy bison. had you been dancing ten minutes ago, or ten weeks ago? you looked down at your feet, trying to decide if they looked tired.

you squinted hard. were your feet always this blurry?

"you alright, kid?"

you squinted harder. a man was talking to you. you looked up, and raising your gaze took a few days, maybe.

jesse.

it took a few seconds for his words to process in your ears.

"am i alright?" you questioned, your tongue numb. jesse laughed, so you laugh too.

so silly.

"time for her to go, williams." jesse says. you laughed, then realized he's talking about you, so you twist your lips into a frown.

"no," you disagreed.

ellie raised an eyebrow, in a way that almost looks lazy. she scans you over, almost pretending to be serious, before a lighthearted laugh escapes her.

"ease up," she tells jesse simply. you nodded once along with ellie.

yeah, ease up, you think, because you forgot to move your lips and say it out loud.

everyone seems to be satisfied because the conversation moves along. you sighed, content, and traced your finger along the edge of the table. you mentally searched your brain for the worried fuzz that previously clouded it, but found nothing. the ambience of chatter and laughter was like medicine for your mind.

you were the first of your friends to switch to water. you sipped it slowly, dragging your eyes between dina and jesse. you really did love them, the closest thing to a family that you had ever had. you felt an extremely strong urge to blurt it out then and there, but managed to swallow it along with your water.

you heard ellie laugh so you laughed too, like a reflex. your eyes found her now without even trying, but you never really had to try anyway. it didn't matter if you were sat right next to her or all the way across jackson, you always seemed to just find her. you were completely drawn to her, just as you had always been.

you felt like jelly.

ellie's features had you completely transfixed.

you weren't necessarily listening to the conversation, just studying ellie's features and reactions. the sounds around you had blended together and you blinked heavily, memorizing ellie's side profile as if you hadn't already had it memorized.

your eyes found the strand of hair following the curve of ellie's cheek and chin. the slope of her nose. she kept laughing, the corners of her eyes crinkling up. you stared for so long, your gaze was fixated.

at some point you must've laughed, because suddenly ellie was staring right back at you.

you forget to tear your eyes away, because you just don't really feel the need to.

"the fuck is wrong with you?" ellie questioned.

her eyebrows were knitted together in confusion, though the slow smile that grew on her lips made her look slightly amused, too.

"nothing," you breathed, and not even the alcohol could help the pounding in your chest when ellie looked at you like that.

"-think it's time to call it," jesse concluded, pushing his glass away from him.

"quitter," dina taunted, and she might've leaned in to kiss him but you weren't sure. you weren't looking.

"nothing?" ellie laughed, repeating your words. she squinted at you and leaned in closer, as if that would help her to reveal the truth.

"are you guys heading out too?" dina questioned, standing with jesse.

"in a minute," ellie answered, finally tearing her eyes away from your own.

sloppy goodbye's were given, giggles and thank you's despite seeing each other every day.

you ducked when jesse reached down to ruffle your hair, but you weren't able to dodge it.

ellie watched as dina and jesse left together, hand in hand. once she finally turned back to you, she laughed in astonishment.

"seriously, what?" ellie chuckled, shaking her head under your gaze.

"i don't know, shut up," you avoided, smoothing the material of your skirt over your lap.

"you're a bad liar," ellie said pointedly, leaning in closer with a determined expression as she scanned your facial features.

frowning at ellie's scrutiny, you caved under the minimal pressure that she had applied.

"your hair," you admitted softly. your answer obviously didn't clarify anything for the girl sat next to you. her brows remained furrowed, as if to imply 'go on..'

you shouldn't use alcohol as an excuse, but you did. reaching a gentle hand out, your fingers brushed against the strand of hair that followed the curve of ellie's cheek. her expression seemed to change a million times within the few, short seconds that the interaction lasted.

"i like when you wear it like this," you said simply, dropping your hand back onto your lap. ellie instinctively reached her hand back and touched her hair, cheeks reddening.

"shut up," ellie said, but her tone lacked any real authority.

"why?" you asked back, nearly instantly. "can't i compliment my friend?"

ellie shook her head, dropping her gaze and swallowing a chuckle as she finished off the rest of the liquid from her glass.

"what?" you asked, lips etching into a smile. you weren't sure why you were pushing now, but it was entertaining. "you said i looked pretty earlier, remember that?"

ellie coughed, eyes widening for only the briefest of seconds. "so what? you do look pretty." ellie doubled down, her gaze flicking over you. her voice was smooth, but her cheeks were red. it made you giggle.

"okay, thank you. you do too," you responded, fidgeting with the bottom hem of your sweater.

ellie pushed away from the table, rolling her eyes. "oh, fuck off," she snorted.

you scrambled out of your chair, thankfully grabbing onto the hand that ellie had offered out to you as you hopped down from the high top.

"fuck you, you look good," you insisted.

ellie dropped your hand, her nose wrinkling as she stopped to study you once again. "what's the matter with you?"

"oh my god, williams. you have got to lighten up," you laughed, looking away from her as you shook your head. you felt hot.

ellie was silent as you left the tipsy bison, and your stomach twisted.

was she actually bothered? you were being too much, right?

the sky was dark. everything outside seemed still.

you breathed in deep as the crisp air hit your face. something about the cold air burning your hot cheeks felt like a wave of reality. there was that lingering of the harsh winter still in the air, but something else, too. the promise of a warm spring to come.

"sorry," you said suddenly, concentrating really hard on the steps that you were taking. "i didn't mean to-"

"please. don't be dumb," ellie said. her tone was lighthearted. you were fine.

ellie's pace was relaxed as you both walked. it was a stark contrast from how tense she had seemed previously in the evening. you wondered if she had been using the alcohol to her own advantage too.

lost in thought, you nearly tripped over your own feet. ellie's laughter bounced around the empty road but she grabbed your hand immediately, helping to steady you. ellie didn't let go, so you didn't either.

you looked sideways at her, trying to step carefully so your steps didn't sound clumsy. ellie scanned her surroundings a lot when she walked, even now. it was less pointed now, but you could still notice it.

you thought back to the previous evening, ellie's body in your bed and the way in which she had looked at you. so close, so intentional.

you might've been anxious, but you weren't stupid. it had been a moment, right?

or at least, it almost was.

the alcohol wasn't pacifying anything. your heart rammed against your chest.

"where'd you go?" ellie asked, and the softness of her tone caught you off guard.

"nowhere," you answered, squeezing her hand. "just thinking."

"about?" ellie pressed, purposely bumping into you. you slowed to a stop, shrugging your shoulders.

"everything," you answered simply, dropping her hand. it almost wasn't a lie.

"ah, right. that narrows it down," ellie snarked.

"shut up," you laughed breathlessly, because her face seemed to be the only thing in full focus and ellie's stare was intense, even when it wasn't intended to be.

"what, we're keeping secrets now?" ellie pressed, her voice raising in pitch. her cheeks were still tinted, you could tell even in the dark.

a secret or two was fine to keep, you thought, especially if it was about potentially being in love with your best friend.

"please, as if you don't have any secrets," you retorted, almost a little too accusingly. ellie had been different lately.

off.

ellie shook her head, eyebrows pinching together. "not from you," she answered, taking a step closer. her tone made your heart soar, but something about the way that her eyes changed made her words not entirely believable.

the smallest difference would make you spiral, but that's what the alcohol had been for. now, you could simply play along.

"well, me neither," you insisted as you continued down the familiar path to ellie's.

ellie scoffed in response. "aren't i special?" she said sarcastically.

"you are." your tone was straight forward, adamant.

ellie shook her head, which made you frown. you wanted her to reach for your hand again.

you lingered outside of ellie's, staying back a step as she fumbled with the door.

"i'll see you tomorrow, okay?" you said softly, not enjoying how much effort it was taking you now to enunciate your words.

"you're not coming in?" ellie asked, tilting her head at you. she looked disappointed, you thought.

"i don't know. you're making me nervous," you admitted without any time to regret it.

ellie laughed in disbelief. "what are you talking about?"

"you're being intimidating," you spat out, wrapping your arms around yourself. you wouldn't ever say that to her, but for some reason you did, and now you had to deal with the dejected expression that appeared on ellie's face.

"how?"

"because im kind of drunk and i know i'll say something without thinking."

"something bad?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern.

"no," you answered.

"i think.. i'm gonna need an example."

you shook your head. "stop. you're being so... i can't handle it.

"i'm not doing anything," ellie argued.

"i know. you're just.. you."

"in a good way, or a bad way?" ellie asked, red in the face and obviously confused. you felt like you were floating, watching your body from afar and silently screaming at yourself to shut up! stop talking!

"a good way. a really, really good way."

brows still pinched together, the tiniest ghost of a smile appeared at ellie's lips. "what're you doing?" she asked slowly, her tone dropping.

"i don't know," you rushed out. you were dizzy. very dizzy, and you felt like you were burning up. you dropped your arms to your sides.

"are you being serious right now, or are you fucking with me?" ellie asked, stepping closer.

your body felt like it was buzzing. your words nearly came out in a whisper.

"i'm serious."

just like that, ellie's nervous guise was dropped. she was suddenly confident, smirking and invading your personal space. it was like all she needed was confirmation that she wasn't being misguided, and she turned into a different person.

"you could've just said so," ellie murmured, eyes darting across your own.

you bumped your back against the door for stability. your knees felt like they could buckle at any second. you wished that maybe you had drank more, because your nerves seemed to be taking control now.

"i don't know what i'm doing," was all that you seemed to be able to muster up with ellie looking at you like that.

your words had some sort of reaction within ellie, because the corners of her lips twitched and she let out a breathy laugh, the scent of alcohol consuming you.

kissing ellie wasn't how you had imagined it to be.

it was sudden and hurried, her lips crashing against your own. your breath caught in your throat once her tongue slid against yours.

you had imagined, maybe, that everything around you would quiet.

instead, all of your senses were on high alert. the taste of alcohol in her mouth, the wind stinging your cheeks. your stomach twisted and turned and your knees threatened to give out at any second.

you pulled away eventually, eyes wild and glistening.

"ellie?"

"was that okay?" ellie's voice was low and you found yourself nodding before her sentence was even finished.

at your confirmation, ellie gripped your hip with one hand to keep you steady as she pushed the door open with her free hand. the door swinging out from behind you almost made you jump, so ellie tightened her grip.

ellie's lips were on yours again within seconds of kicking the door shut. you were blind, taking backwards steps into ellie's house.

your heart was pounding. you swore ellie could hear it. you squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to not think.

you gasped once your back hit the wall and ellie tilted her head, deepening the kiss when you were steady once again.

her calloused fingertips slipped underneath the hem of your tank top, ghosting along your stomach and waist. the shaky sigh that you released into the kiss seemed to only encourage her more.

surely you would need to breathe soon, but you wouldn't dare pull away.

it wasn't anything like you allowed yourself to imagine, but that was fine. you weren't disappointed, it was just different.

you got the sudden urge to step back and look at her, to make sure that she was still your ellie, but you wouldn't.

stop. thinking.

ellie's hands were on your neck and then your shoulders, pushing your cardigan away from your arms and onto the floor. you dug your fingertips into the fabric of her shirt, pulling her body against your own. each breath apart was hurried and shaky, as if you couldn't collapse together again quick enough.

ellie's mouth attached to your jaw, kissing upwards until she was right below your ear. you gasped at the feeling, a small breathy sound leaving your throat and you could feel ellie smirk against your jaw.

butterflies exploded in your stomach. your hands were shaking as you wrapped your arms around ellie's shoulders, tugging her closer and pulling her lips back to yours.

this was everything that you had always wanted, right?

so you tried to push away the growing pit in your stomach and focus on the feeling of ellie's fingers tracing against your flesh.

goosebumps pricked over your bare arms and your body knocked against ellie's. one of her hands dipped to the waistband of your skirt and you nearly squeaked in surprise. ellie's other hand pushed your tank top upwards, exposing the underside of your bra.

you barely had one second to be insecure before ellie was mumbling against your lips.

"you're so-" ellie pressed a kiss below your ear.

"fucking," another kiss, on your neck.

"pretty," ellie concluded, kissing your collarbone before her mouth found way back to yours.

of course, ellie had complimented you before. but the low, raspy tone of her voice now was the cause of a deep warmth that spread throughout your entire body. despite it, you shivered at her touch, ellie’s fingertips tracing along your skin.

ellie’s name left your mouth as a whisper, though it still gained her attention. she pulled away, just barely, her eyes boring into your own as her fingertips pulled at your hips.

“is this okay?” she asked, her words serious and steady.

you nodded, trying desperately not to shy under her gaze. “promise,” you whispered.

ellie kissed you again, the movements bordering on erratic. you straightened your back against the wall the best that you could manage and lifted your leg, hooking it around ellie's waist to tug her closer.

she made a sound of surprise against your mouth, but the way that she kissed you showed you that she was more than okay with it.

the skirt that you were wearing was being bunched around your thighs, ellie haphazardly tugging it upwards so her hand could roam your thigh.

your breath hitched, every single thought in your mind ramming together and forming mush. you slipped your fingers underneath ellie's shirt, pressing your palms against her back.

you couldn't believe this was happening. and yet, it wasn't like how you had imagi-

her fingers squeezed at your upper thigh, so light it was almost like it hadn't even happened. you gasped once your body jolted in reaction, earning a small chuckle from ellie.

you hadn't drank enough, apparently, to save yourself from being embarrassed.

you kissed her to make up for it, swallowing a whine once the sensation appeared yet again. ellie's fingers trailed across your underwear, like she was taking her time.

it was a stark contrast from how you were kissing, as if each tiny breath was too much time apart.

you were nearly certain that your hands were shaking. your nails dipped into ellie's back, causing her to sigh against your lips. once her fingers slipped under the waistband of your underwear, you were done for.

you had never- obviously. ellie knew that. was she considering that now?

you assumed ellie had. though she never really seemed to like to talk about that sort of stuff with you. she had been with cat for awhile-

you deepened the kiss, speeding up to match the pace of ellie's movements.

not the time to think about the past.

ellie's fingers dipped lower and your breath was shallow, legs weak with anticipation.

"ellie-" you mustered, the words barely audible and practically swallowed by the kiss. ellie heard it, however, and something about it made her pull away.

ellie snapped back, her lips leaving yours just as suddenly as it had been when she first kissed you. she quickly pulled her hands away, taking a step back.

you nearly gulped the air, trying to catch your breath and make sense of the situation. you pressed a hand against the wall behind you, steadying yourself.

"ellie? what's-"

"shit," ellie murmured, taking another step away from you and shutting her eyes tight.

your stomach dropped.

the situation was unfamiliar to you, but anyone could tell that something was wrong.

this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

you froze, eyes wide and lips swollen. you watched as ellie raked her hands through her hair, pacing away from you.

"ellie, what?" you pressed, your voice coming out in a pathetic whisper.

"nothing," ellie dismissed, refusing to meet your eyes.

your heart hammered against your chest, a wave of emotions flooding over you.

shame, disgust, guilt, regret-

"el-"

"seriously, nothing. it's just late. you drank a lot, right?" ellie accused, staring at the floor.

you shook your head, humiliation digging a hole into your stomach. "not too much, obviously. i'm fine, what's-"

"it's just late," ellie repeated. "i'm tired. you should probably get home."

and there it was.

you pressed your palm harder against the wall in an effort to prevent yourself from collapsing onto the floor.

every doubt, every insecurity, every reason preventing you from being honest with ellie about your feelings rang true in your head. your anxieties had been right, and now there was no taking it back.

you tried to catch her eye in the dark, but ellie wasn't budging.

"w-what?" you breathed out, tears pricking in your eyes.

"you should probably get going," ellie reinforced, her voice devoid of any emotion.

before you could get another word in or even process what the fuck had just happened, ellie turned her back and left the room.

you stood alone in the dark, hands trembling at your sides.

what?

you stayed still for a moment, holding your breath and hoping that ellie would come back.

she didn't.

you gathered your cardigan from the floor, rushing to cover your arms and flee from the scene of the crime.

your body felt as though it was in shock when you were greeted again by the cold night. the unforgiving chill and the fevered warmth throughout your body were battling to win, each sensation fighting to take over.

you wobbled only a few steps away from ellie's house. your stomach lurched. you only had a second to keel over before you threw up, all of the alcohol and shame making itself apparent on the street.

you wrapped your arms tight around your body, trying to force your brain to wrap itself around what happened. you couldn't make sense of it.

you thought that you might throw up again, but instead a sob choked its way up your throat.

you waited just a second, sobs rattling your chest with your arms tightly wrapped around yourself. you stared at her house, willing her to come outside, tell you it was some sort of sick joke and comfort you.

you knew that she wouldn't.

you carried yourself home, steps heavy and uneven. you stifled your cries until you were inside, falling to the ground as soon as your door was shut.

nothing, you thought, felt as bad as this right now.

you rested the back of your hand against your forehead, willing this all to be some sort of alcohol, feverish induced dream.

surely that didn't just happen. it couldn't have, you didn't want it to.

even if ellie was just interested in some sort of drunken hookup and then came to her senses, you were her best friend. how could she suddenly be so detached, so casually cruel without another regard for your feelings? even if she didn't like you, you were her best friend.

you cried like a stubborn child having a tantrum.

it was all that you could really manage to do.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@skylerwhitwyo @muthafuckingstargirl @minustwofingers @mirrorballels @macaroni676 @sapphicontherun @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @patricks-fabulous-face @bready101 @elliewilliamsonlygirlfriend

[ i know it's been awhile! if you would like to be removed from the taglist, please just let me know <3 same thing goes for added! ]

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie tlou x reader

209 notes · View notes

beanxiv · 1 year

Text

new set ; nagi seishiro ✩࿐

summary: nagi loves when you get a new set of nails. especially if you get them longer than your natural nails. why? 'cause head scratches after getting a new set of nails are the best.

wc: .6k

warning: reader gets acrylic nails, gn reader, fluff, petnames

note: i recently got my nails done so this is very self indulgent

"baby, i'm going out."

nagi lifts his head from his phone screen just barely so that he can glance at you and avoid having his character die. "where?"

"i have an appointment with my nail tech, i shouldn't be out that long." you move things around in your bag a bit, looking for your keys.

nagi shuffles off the couch, "i wanna come."

you find your keys and look up, "are you sure? you won't really have anything to do. i'm just getting my nails done and coming back."

"wanna be with you anyway," your boyfriend slinks behind you, dropping his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arm around your waist.

you giggle when his breath tickles your neck, "alright, fine. but don't complain about how bored you are when you're sitting there for like an hour."

"'m not, just wanna watch and be with you."

and that's exactly what nagi does. from the moment you step in and greet your usual tech to the moment she starts filing away at your nails. he insisted on sitting next to you rather than sitting and waiting by the door.

"doesn't that hurt?" nagi mumbles, watching your nail tech file away at your nails at what looks like a painful speed.

when you assure him it doesn't he shrugs and pulls his phone out to keep himself busy. when he tires of that he listens to you and your nail tech exchange idle gossip here and there.

"–and this is sei," at the sound of his name nagi perks up a bit, paying more attention to the conversation.

your nail tech hums in interest, "oh? you mean the infamous nagi seishiro? the boyfriend you never keep quiet about?"

you giggle and glance at said boyfriend, "mhm, he wanted to come with me this time."

"looks like he's as clingy as you said he was," your nail tech jokes, starting to apply gel to your nails.

nagi pouts and you place your free hand on his thigh, "just jokes, sei."

he huffs and pulls his phone back out, counting down the minutes until he can get you back home and in his arms.

nagi counted 47 minutes before he could have you in bed, lying on your back with him on your chest. (47 minutes too long if you ask him.)

"do you like them?" you show nagi your new set and he nods against your shoulder, telling you the colors suit you.

absentmindedly, your hand finds its way into nagi's hair, you run your fingers through it and scratch his scalp.

"hmm," you stop when you hear nagi sigh with all the breath in his lungs.

automatically he lifts his head from your chest, "why'd you stop?" you look perplexed so nagi takes your hand and places it back on his head, "feels good, so don't stop okay?"

a soft smile pulls at your lips, "sei, you're not mad that i talked about you to the nail tech, right?"

nagi hums, "i won't be mad if you keep cuddling me and scratching my head."

your smile widens, "okay."

"and better you talk about me than another guy." nagi mumbles, eyes struggling to stay open.

you notice his battle against slumber and amusement falls on your features, "you like getting your head scratched that much, baby?"

"mhmm, keep the nails forever."

you giggle, "it doesn't work like that, sei. they only last a few weeks."

"then when these come off, i'll pay for new ones." nagi promises before his breath evens out and you see his eyes finally close.

1K notes · View notes

carolmunson · 10 months

Text

must be a kind of blind love

(older!modern!eddie - interlude blurbie) orange colored sky setlist

a/n: wrote this little older!eddie blurbie in honor of me needing glasses. my birthday is tomorrow so consider this an early present from me. this doesn't have to fit in order of any time line, it's just cute and fluffy. however, there are some exciting revelations in here.

tw: references to smut, foul language, otherwise pretty tame. idiots in love.

"Yyyyell-o." "You gotta stop answering the phone like that, Ed."

"It's how I always answer the phone, baby -- it's like a muscle memory."

"Ooh, muscle memory, big word for you," you chuckle, you can hear him click clacking against his keyboard on the other end, "You busy?"

"Not too busy, you okay?" he asks, the click clacking slows down to a stop, you hear the roll of his desk chair and some shuffling, the sound of an iPhone being unplugged from his computer.

"So um, I just left the doctors..."

"Okay before you finish what you're saying, I need you to never start a phone call with 'I just left the doctors...' fours days after we had sex," he interrupts, "We clear on that?"

You laugh, it's hearty and bubbly, enough to calm him from the heart racing 'what ifs' running through his head, "Yes, we're clear -- but you knew I had this doctor's appointment!"

"I know, but still -- how'd it go? Everything good?"

"Well..." you start, "It was an eye doctor appointment, like, an optometrist."

"I know what an optomestrist is, baby girl," he says sweetly, "But thank you for clarifying."

"Anyway I went and got my eyes check and uh..." you trail off, not wanting to say it. You can hear the low giggle coming from his throat, practically see the smile in his next sentence.

"Aw, you need glasses, don't you, peach?" he smirks into his question, heading down the metal staircase into the kitchen to refill his coffee cup.

"Yeah," you say poutily, "And now my eyes hurt cause they did dialysis on my eyes I mean -- dialated my eyes, whoops."

"I would hope they didn't perform dialysis on your eyes, jesus," he still can't hold back his gruff giggle, "Is it bad? What's your perscription?"

"I think it's honestly just an astigmatism? But better safe than sorry," you explain, "Don't make fun of me."

"Oh baby, I'm gonna make fun of you," Eddie pops the mug into the microwave, "Now you know how I feel every time you tell me to put my glasses on. Not fun gettin' old, is it?"

"You make it look pretty fun," you shrug, walking over to the train. The printed out paper with your perscription on it is blinding outside, the white glaring into your dilated pupils, "Fuck that's bright."

"I'm almost done with work for today, you wanna just come to mine?" he asks, "We can go look for frames for you."

"You're gonna be mean," you complain, "I don't like when you're mean."

"I won't be mean, I promise."

"Do you want me to come over?" you ask.

He bites his tongue, wanting to reply with a snappy 'Would I have invited you if I didn't?' but he can tell you just need the reassurance.

"I'd love to see you," his voice warm honey while it drips into the receiver, "Of course I want you to come over. You getting on the train?"

"Yeah I'm like, maybe twenty minutes way," you smile.

"Well then I'll see you in twenty, okay?" "Okay."

He spends the first couple minutes teasing you when you get in to get it out of his system, peppering you with kisses when your fake pout gets too cute for him. Eddie gives you his glasses to try on but you squint.

"These are too blurry," you shake your head, scrunching your nose in a way that has him melting.

"Well that's cause my visions a little worse than yours," he shrugs, plucking them off your face by the bridge and popping them onto his own.

"I think your glasses are nice," you shrug, "They make you look handsome."

"Handsome, huh?" he quirks a brow, "I think they make me look like my uncle. He's like, 74."

"You don't look 74," you roll your eyes.

"No?"

"No, babe," you say sweetly, tilting your head when you look at him, "You look at least 72."

He clicks his tongue and puffs out a breath, "How did I know?"

"You love it," you smirk, kissing his cheek and then the tip of his nose.

"Yeah, yeah, I love it," he nods along, tilting his head up to kiss your lips. He pulls you in close to him, taking a seat on one of the barstools at the kitchen island where you stand between his thighs.

Yeah, yeah, I love it. I love you. I think I love you.

"When your eyes feel a little less blurry you wanna look for some frames?" he asks, noses touching. You nod, feeling safe in his hold, eyes fluttering closed when he kisses your cheek. Eddie's full lips kiss from your cheek to your jaw, to the top of your neck -- implying all the ideas he has in mind to pass the time.

"We can fool around if you want," he asks against your skin, "That sound good to you, four eyes?"

You groan into a laugh, shoving him lightly off you, "Fuck you."

Laughing in the kitchen together is his new favorite past time.

Cat-eye, round, square, wire-rimmed, low brow -- there's too many options. You chew on your lower lip looking at the walls of frames, trying to not get in the way of other people while they grab pairs to try on in the brightly lit mirrors.

"Where do I even start?" you ask yourself, feeling Eddie close behind you. His hand presses against your mid back, leading you over to a wall that doesn't have people crowded around it. It gives you a moment to breathe, he rubs your shoulder as it relaxes.

"What types of sunglasses to you normally wear?" he asks, "That's a good place to start."

You had a few fake pairs of Raybans, a couple cat-eye frames from when you were in your early twenties. One pair of rimless glasses from a 90s party that you don't totally hate. You reach for the Wayferer shaped ones, wire rim bottom and flat top -- you find it accentuates your brows in a way that isn't quite right. They sit uneven on your face.

"These are awful," you mumble, taking them off.

"No they're not," he assures. He grabs a few pairs that are sort of ridiculous just to get you laughing -- big wild pairs with bright colors, a pair of transition lens aviators that look straight out of a serial killer movie, exaggerated cat eye lenses that he said his great aunt would've worn in the 80s. He heals every tease with a gentle kiss to your temple or forehead just over the bridge of your nose.

Eventually he starts looking at sunglasses for himself while you gain the confidence to go for it on your own. It's not lost on him when some of the ladies who work there come over to see if he needs help that they're flirting, and to be fair, he's never one to not indulge. You catch his eye in an opposite mirror where he gives you a wink -- he blushes when you roll your eyes in return.

You finally think you've settled on a pair you like, one that surprises you. Thin wire rimmed, brushed gold, they sit slightly round over your face, dipping a bit onto the tops of your cheeks. They don't accentuate whatever is happening with your brow line, they almost feel like they're supposed to be there. Your next thought sounds like your mom in your ear -- They go with everything!

You push your hair back, seeing if you'll still like them with your hair out of the way and down again. You snap a picture -- well, you snap a few. You don't hate it.

"Hey," you call out, tapping on his shoulder when you get behind him, "What do you think?"

Eddie turns, smoothly taking off the new sunglasses he was considering, "Lemme see."

"Oh honey," he coos, "Oh my god you look like a sweet little secretary."

"Stop," you laugh, heat hitting your cheeks at his praise. "Gotta get you a type writer so you can come work for me," he eggs on playfully, "You can screen all my calls. Maybe earn some over time..."

"Don't be annoying," you chide, slapping at his arm when he snakes it around you.

"No, peach you look so sweet," he gushes, "Really."

"I don't look like a nerd?" you ask, looking into the mirror again.

"Of course you do," he confirms, "But that's what I like about them. Plus, they go with everything."

"We'll be like twins," you say with a nudge, "Yours are sort of like this but silver."

"You're right," he nods, "Look at that, nerds in love."

He gives you a quick kiss -- but both of your hearts sink when the weight of what he says hits both your ears. Nerds in love.

In love.

You hear him swallow and you do the same. There's a jitter to both of you after, like both of you are pretending to not have heard that sentence. Like it didn't happen.

"So you like these ones?" he asks, voice cracking like a teenager. He clears his throat before flagging over one of the women who offered to help him before, "Can we uh, can we get these set up with her prescription?"

The woman's smile is dazzling, perfect for retail -- you'd buy anything she told you to buy. She takes the pair in your hand and goes to work, calling you both over to the iPads by the check out desk to get the order in. Your heart hammers while you make your way over.

"Ed, I don't even know how much those cost," you say under your breath.

"It doesn't matter," he mumbles back, "You're not paying for 'em."

"Ed," you protest, "No." You shake your head, the serious look on your face makes his chest hot with embarrassment.

But he's quick, he's a loverboy for a reason, "Just think of it as insurance for all the jokes I get to make at your expense. I'm earning my right to bully you by buying them."

"You're so dumb," you huff, taking his hand while he reaches out to you to place your order.

"You love it."

"Yeah, yeah, I love it."

I love it, you think, I think I love you.

prev | next

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfiction #older!eddie #older!eddiemunson

601 notes · View notes

chimielie · 11 months

Text

my lover, my life, my shawty, my wife

summary: Ushijima x f!Reader. snapshots of eternal youth.

word count: 1.3k

cw: lighthearted manhandling, longterm established relationship ups (and one down), marriage talk and mention of toshi’s parents’ divorce. it’s basically all fluffy and silly tho

a/n: nobody @ me i wrote literally 99% of this a couple weeks ago and just remembered it was in the drafts today i’m working on the promised fics!!! it will just be A While i’m slow okayyy 💘 anyway enjoy some pure ushijima fluff

“Ushiwaka!!!” You shriek, voice breaking with laughter as you slam your hands against his backside. “Put me down, you—you barbarian! Kidnapper! Plunderer!”

He doesn’t say anything, just jostles you gently so your top half (currently upside-down over his broad shoulder) sways while your legs stay firmly in the grip of his arms. You know it’s as close as he’s going to get to a verbal admonishment, your current position already more than enough of an indication that he is fed up with you acting up in a public setting.

“Fine,” you scrunch up your face, sure that he can envision it just the same as you can see in your mind’s eye the near-invisible traces of amusement on his face. “Ugh, you’re going to make me sick. You are so bossy. I can’t believe you think that you can just pick me up and carry me around and tell me what to do. You don’t even say please, you know that?”

He probably gets the idea that he can just pick you up and carry you around and tell you what to do from the ten years that he's been doing all those things, since high school.

You've never gotten sick from being carried like this, either.

“You are bossy,” he says simply in rebuttal. "You say please but you know I'll do whatever it is you want. Even unreasonable things."

"I'm always reasonable," you say. He pats your butt in a way that isn't supposed to be condescending but is. You smack his in return and enjoy the way his back muscles tense up. "Ooh, you've been training your glutes."

He's been doing it in your home gym. You've always been loud about obvious things like this; he doesn't understand it, especially, but he likes it. At first, that had been much of your relationship. You were loud and obvious about your feelings for the up-and-coming teenage ace, and he didn't understand you, but he liked you.

He considers, and then revises his previous thought. He understands you better now. You talk through even things you and he know well because it helps you to process your thoughts, and you are determined to be shocked and delighted by all small things in the world.

"Hello, Bo-kun!" you wave to his teammate. Bokuto, bless him, attempts to bend over upside down to mimic you.

"Hey, Ushijima-san!" Ushijima is lucky that everyone in the facility knows you and you don't have to clarify to any security guards that you aren't in danger, for real. You take offense to the idea that you couldn't win in a fight against him, anyway.

You had been asserting this particular belief, actually, to the rest of the Japanese men’s volleyball team while they stretched post-practice and friends and family were allowed on court to distract them. Atsumu had been egging you on, urging you to try fighting another of the players since he didn’t trust Wakatoshi not to let you win currently. You had rolled up your shirtsleeves when the ace scooped you up and you had, already protesting, waved goodbye to the blond, a huge grin on your face. He had saluted you as you went.

“We’re not married yet,” you say, bonking your forehead into Wakatoshi as he stops short. “You all don't have to keep saying that. Please, call me—”

"Oh, Waka-kun said," Bokuto starts before being cut off.

“We may as well be," Wakatoshi says, turning to face Bokuto (At least turn sideways so I can see, you complain). "It'll happen eventually, so we can start practicing by calling her my wife now."

"What?!" You say. "Don't say things like that. You sound like you like me. Do you like me? Do you want to be more than friends?"

People have always talked about your relationship in begrudging terms. "Oh, opposites attract, I guess..." spoken in a disbelieving and reluctant tone. He understands. Most high school relationships didn't work out. Most people would get frustrated with him and his communication style. Then most long-distance relationships didn't work out. Most young professional athletes wanted to try new things, new people.

Wakatoshi doesn't understand why he would want to try something new when he had something perfectly fine with you. He had said that to you, once, when you were in Sapporo and he in Koganei. You had gotten very quiet for the rest of the call and then remained quiet for two weeks, sending all of his messages to read and calls to voicemail. It had taken a short flight and a shy, quiet apology to right his wrongs. He had known that he would spend the rest of his life with you, he said, forgetting to blink even as you furiously swiped away tears, a month in when you were fifteen. Barely longer than this terrible time you had stopped even fighting with him, just giving up on him. Why would he try anything else when he had never deviated from this path?

But what if you're just not seeing that there might be something better out there for you, you had said, voice angry but face already forgiving. Worse, what if you do see that someday? You’ll get tired of settling.

He had shaken his head. There isn't something better. Please, continue to be patient with me. Your breath had burst out of you in a single sob, and then you were yanking him toward you, ordering him to kiss you so you'd stop crying in front of all the neighbors.

Considering his parents' marriage, one might have thought that he would have more qualms about the concept than he did. You didn't seem interested in pressuring him there, though, and when asked just reminded him that living together long enough would result in common-law marriage anyway, so he just had to tell you if he ever wanted to stop living together. After several years separated and more reunited, he hadn't yet found any desire to do so. He definitely had strong negative feelings about being away from you for extended periods.

He was very lucky that you had chosen a career path which would allow you to travel essentially anywhere with him, find lucrative work anywhere with him. The home gym had actually been your gift to him, from the bank account you didn't share. It was the most thoughtful and horrifyingly expensive gift he had ever received. He had retaliated by hiring your most favored interior designer to rework your apartment into something both sentimentally familiar and not decorated entirely on the whim of two mid-twenty-year-olds. While they worked, he took you on vacation.

"We have to go," Wakatoshi adjusts you in his hold, nodding to his teammate. You’re quiet for a bit, so he puts you down, steadying you by your waist until your head stops swimming.

“You know we have to talk about these things,” you say, looking steadily at him.

“Yes,” he rumbles, considering his words for a moment. “I’ve been thinking about it more often recently. I still don’t feel strongly about the idea of a wedding, but I want you to be my wife. If you want to be.”

Insecurity sparks in him. You enjoyed your friend’s weddings, but perhaps you didn’t want one of your own, or one to him. Perhaps he had crossed a boundary.

“I don’t know,” you tap your lips with a finger, and a weight lifts off his chest when you smile at him. “I’ll see when you ask me. But I want it to be sometime in the future, somewhere more scenic than your athletic facility, okay? With a ring and a sappy speech.”

He smiles, then, his teeth showing. An explosive and momentous display of emotion.

“I’ll be sure to say please.”

#ushijima x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima fluff #ushiwaka x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq!! x reader #haikyuu!! fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader fluff #hq x reader fluff #ushijima wakatoshi x reader fluff #ushijima x reader fluff

816 notes · View notes

thetreefairy · 10 months

Note

Is it alright if I request Yandere father Gojo satoru where his daughters ability is to control time since Gojo has absolute control over space at an atomic level and she also has infinity but he never taught her how to use it but durining the shibuya arc she either reverses or stopped time to save a couple of people a d stop certain events from happpening (if this is too much you do t have to do the whole shibuya arc part )

Sorry that this is long anyways have a nice night/day ( `ε´ )

Since I have not watched season 2 yet, I am not doing the shibuya arc part. Since you also specified fem pronouns, the reader will be fem.

edit: hehehe, I forgot to say: have a nice day as well and I loved this request :D

warnings: yandere themes, isolation mentioned (I do not condone this and if you can seek help please do), Gojo is a piece of shit and two-faced, Reader is done with life, swearing because author is in pain and sick and when the author is sick they swear a lot, vague ending

I don't understand the ability completely, but I made it so that if you didn't master it properly you can get hurt when you use the ability (which might actually be apart of it, but my memory is shit)

Ko-fi

Consequences and actions

Goji Satoru was the first sorcerer to be born with limitless and six eyes in 400 years, so truly he was surprised when he saw that his daughter had them too. It was weaker than his, yes.

But he didn't know what to do. He didn't want his daughter to master both because then she wouldn't need him anymore.

"Dad can you teach me use both?" Reader had once asked, and his answer was: "There is no reason for you to learn."

It frustrated Reader to no end, she had the abilities but she wasn't allowed to develop and become a full-pledged sorcerer.

Satoru could understand Reader's frustration to an extent, but after a while of you complaining and begging to start training, he started to get annoyed.

"Reader, if you don't stop complaining right now, you will lose your communication privileges." Satoru hissed. Reader scoffed and muttered; "You should just call it isolation."

"Watch your mouth." Satoru hissed. "That's no way to speak to your father."

Reader rolled her eyes. "I just don't get why." Satoru sighed and spoke softl; "It's too dangerous, you would get on the curses radar and right now I got the world believing that you are just a child with no special powers, with no grade."

"When you are gone." Reader started. "How will I be able to protect myself if you aren't here?"

"That's not for you to worry about, now stop complaining and whining about it."

Unfortunately for Satoru his students like Reader more than him, so they helped her with learning how to control their abilities. Well to the best of their extent.

So when Reader had been good in Satoru's opinion she could tag along on a school mission. "Remember, if there is a fight run don't fight. I'll find you with your tracker."

"Wait what tracker-"

"Excuse me I misspoke. Habits, I meant habits." Satoru lied quickly with a grin and kissed Reader' forehead, sounding rather soft. "Now can you promise me you'll stay out of the way before we meet with the class?"

Reader nodded and hugged Satoru. "Thank you dad for taking me with you."

"No problem, kid." Satoru chuckled.

Unfortunately for Reader she couldn't keep that promise. Out of instinct she protected Satoru and Yuji for a curse that suddenly appeared. What was worse is that she used her abilities.

But using your abilities out of instinct can hurt you quite a lot, Reader started to bleed out of her eyes..

"D-dad." Reader muttered out. "I am sorry, I didn't mean to, I'm sorry."

Satoru brushed away Reader's blood stained tears. "It's okay, you did it out of instinct." This caused Reader to become confused. "Y-you aren't mad?"

"Baby, you are injured you think I will be mad right now?" Satoru asked Megumi to grab his eye cream and used it on you. "Class dismissed."

Satoru took Reader home, unexpectedly calm. Causing Reader to feel like a storm was coming. Satoru was making her a drink when he asked: "You trained your abilities, didn't you?"

Reader tensed up and nodded slowly. It was better to be truthful, right now. "... I suppose I cannot be that angry as it might have saved your life." Satoru muttered with a frown. "Drink this."

A glass of soda was put infront of her. Reader drank it, she was quite de-hydrated. "Thank you, papa."

"Why did you train without my permission?" Satoru asked. "I want to be able to protect myself." She admitted. "So that you can trust me with going out more."

Satoru chuckled as her eyes became dazy. "Perhaps you should figure out when your drink is spiked then."

Reader stood up and stepped back in shock.

"Awh, did you really think you wouldn't be punished?" He grinned. "How cute my dear daughter."

She tried to back away knowing full well what will happen.

"Maybe I should break your legs." Satoru mumbled doing a fake thoughtful look. "I got it!"

"Dad, please."

"I will make sure that you fully understand my love!" Reader knew what this meant, being locked up, and much more. "Maybe I should get you another parent to help with that as well..."

Oh, that was new.

"But I don't want to share you at all...."

615 notes · View notes

dollymaniac · 11 months

Text

꧁༒☬𝔼𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦, 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘☬༒꧂

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader.

WordCount: 1.6k

Summary: Leon wants to be with you before doing anything else after returning from a mission.

Tags: Nsfw (MINORS DNI), oral (F recieving), p in v, creampie, unprotected sex, female reader anatomy, pet names, Leon soft dom, bitting.

A/n: What am i doing w my life? anyways, not proofread lol.

Leon was back, today was the final day of his mission and you counted down every second of it, looking st the clock and at the door over and over again barely paying any sort of attention to whatever it was you were playing on tv, knowing he would walk in any second.

"Lee!" you Squeaked and ran to the door the second he walked in, he always did it, he always opened the door and then his arms before even getting his luggage in, more eagered to have you on his arms than unpacking, than eating, than sleeping.

"There's my Princess" He spoke into your hair, petting it and kissing the top of your head.

He unwrapped one of his arms from you and pulled his luggage in with it, closing the door with his foot once all of you—Yes, he counted the Luggage as one of you— were safely behind it.

"Oh i missed my girl so much" He returned his arm that held the luggage to it's correct position, that being wrapping you up until eventually in wasn't enough, so he tilted his body and without any particular struggle set his arms under your ass and picked you up.

"Couldn't stop thinking about my sweet girl the entire mission"

He kissed at your jawline, so gently, like his lips were made of feathers. And his hold was strong and steady as he had you away from the floor, like his arms were made of solid teflon.

"Missed you too"

You spoke, lowering your head so your foreheads would be together, eyes looking into eachother. Despite how tired he told everyone he was, despite how much he wanted to sleep. He wanted something else before, something he saved stamina for.

"Such a sweet girl" his voice a little coarse as it seemed he had been shouting during the mission, he, still with you on his arms, brought you to the bedroom, settling you down on the bed and climbing on top of you, careful to were he sunked his knees so he wouldn't crush you.

He was quick to go back to brush his lips against your beautiful skin, pulling down you tanktop's straps to not have anything in the way of worshiping you.

"It tickles" you said with a soft and happy laugh, he snorted a second before going back to giving you affection, then, a small thought came to your mind.

"Leon?"

"Mm?"

"Have you eaten?"

He froze, like stopped as he was about to playfully bite down onto your soft shoulder. And looked up at you, he already told you the answer before he even let his tounge move and articulate the words.

He pulled away, sitting in between your legs and looking down at you— staring— and you did so too.

"Yes?"

He said in that tone that he did when he was lying.

"LEON!"

You complained crossing your arms and furrowing your brow as he goes back down to kiss your face, trying to apeace your annoyance.

"Hey shhh, it's ok, I don't want to eat" his voice was gentle as he took one of your wrists, so gently, pulling it away so he could reach for your tits and play with them "please baby, I've been away for so long, i just want to play with my princess, i promise I'll eat later"

He moved your other arm out of the way and slipped his hand under your shirt, cupping your breasts and making circles over your nipples with his thumb, making you whimper a second— So sensitive, so needy.

"Please? Let me enjoy my princess before anything else" He hummed into your ear, landing kisses and little bites all over the side of your face.

You finally agreed, sending your arms under his and up his back, and guiding your legs up to rest on his waist. He became rather deseperate, pulling down your tanktop and out the way in one Clean swipe, going down from your neck to your breast and kissing them.

His hands cup and squeeze at you tits while he opens his mouth to suck on them, making circles with his tounge around your hardened nipples.

"God i missed doing this" he grunts out, one of his hands going down and undoing the button of your Jean short, pulling it down so his hand is running along the silk of your panties that already had a wet spot.

You made a small whimper, pent up since he left; way too sensitive.

"Leon" you purred as he moved his hand up and down your silk cover slit. Before he got inpatient and, of course, moved the panty out of the way to, sunking his fingers in your puffy folds and reached for your clit with hid thumb. Making circles with a gentle pressure and smirking at the lewd noises you made.

"Oh such a sweet girl" he praised, before lowering himself and burrying his face against your cunt. Laping your slick with the thirst of a man in a dessert.

His nose pressed against you clit while the flat of his tounge passed up and down your hole, just enjoying every last drop of slick.

He groaned, sending vibrations over your sensitive heat before he went a little up and put his mouth over your clit, sucking it and spelling out his name with his tounge.

You reached for his hair, instinctively pushing his head down even more and your pelvis up. Wanting, needing more. He caught on rather quickly and slipped two fingers inside you, pumping them in an out with a motion wave.

He really did know how to make you mewl his name and make your legs shake in want— in need. You didn't notice when, he reached for his belt, unbuckling it and throwing it to the side of the room, opening his pant and with no particular care pulling out his cock.

You just felt as the pressure building up on your lower belly released, making your lip quiver and your hips buckle up and down, coating Leon's chin and fingers in your heat.

"There we go" he cooed, lifting up from you while stroking his hardened cock. He chuckled as he saw you practically drool while staring at him, his head whinning with precum.

"Please?" You whimpered.

"No need to beg sweetie"

He reached under your thigh and pulled you to him, helping you angle up just a little more before running his head against your slit. The noise you made, a combination of complain and pleasure, which he knew was you telling him to hurry the fuck up.

He grinned, before pushing himself inside you, promting you two to groan. Your arms went up and he complied moving his body forward so you could steady and grip to his back and shirt.

He started out slow, making sure you wouldn't hurt at being streched by him. But of course the second he felt your nails dig into him, and your moan against his ear.

"Fuck" he mumbled and picked up the speed, drilling into you and making you see stars. His hands pressed over your hip pushing you into him, making the squelching sound of your dripping cunt louder.

"Mmm good" you said with a struggle, already feeling a second peak building up.

Leon was enjoying your whimpers, your whines and your moans, he had been waiting to hear them; to hear you chant his name for days. And it drove him closer and closer to his own peak, as your obscene sounds merged with the oh so nice feeling of your walls tightening around his dick, as your cunt sucked him in greedily.

You two being pent up made the ordeal quicker, rougher and undoubtedly more enjoyable.

"God your pussy is just made for me" he grunted "so tight and wet over my cock"

It was almost hipnotic how he grunted and growled while he pounded so hard you could no only hear him hip slapping your thighs, but also how get you were.

Finally your eyes rolled back, as you let out a whinny "Leon" with a heavy sigh, only knowing to hold so tight with your fingers you thought maybe your nails would pierce through his shirt and skin.

But he didn't seem to mind, no. In fact he almost returned it, going down and bitting down and hard right at that meaty triangle between your shoulder and neck.

It seemed like the final pushed as suddenly he felt your walls clenching around him, dripping with your orgasm as you just let out a tiny cry before shoving your head against his shoulder, letting your legs twitch.

"Good girl" he said still drilling at your pulsating pussy before his pace stuttered and he went as hard and deep as he could, realising rope after rope of hot sticky cum inside of you, filling you up until you were also leaking his cock.

Panting he slowly pulled out of you, before kissing your jawline.

"God i missed my perfect little princess"

You could only whine in agreement before he collapsed at your side and held you tight.

◣──•~❉᯽❉~•──◢

Morning after, you woke up sore and feeling your thighs sticky. Leon was already up on his phone while still Holding you.

"Morning pretty lady"

His voice still sounding tired.

Suddenly, you remember what he said before he got his way.

"Leon"

"Yes?"

"Did you eat already?"

You couldn't help but burst out in laughter as he stared at you with this 'oh fuck' look on his face before Bolting to the kitchen and coming back with a bowl of cereal, a spoon full on his mouth so you wouldn't get pissed at him.

Thank you for reading.

#hachi thoughts #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #re4 remake #resident evil fanfic #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x reader smut #leon re4 #leon s kennedy smut #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon x reader #resident evil leon #smut #resident evil fanfiction #fanfic smut

736 notes · View notes

kumimi3 · 4 months

Text

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋! : " 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐒... " ❛ 𝟶𝟸 ; 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚞𝚎𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚘 , 𝚓𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚔𝚒𝚖 ❜ - gn!reader , sfw | inbox request <;3 @diarrheas-stuff

they confuse you beyond limit when you once met them, you feel the way their eyes on you but they don't pay attention to you as they did behind your back.

Jake, the ever so extroverted one could only laugh so timidly just to hide the stutters of his words, cringing underneath but still holds enough bravery to shoot you a pick-up line

"Hey miss, you single? 'Cuz I'm available~"

The subsequent eye roll received from Samuel couldn't stop you from showing a meek laughter, blushing softly from Jake's words. The sight of you flustered was a sight for sore eyes, can't you see the way they stare at you like you're a breath of fresh air? You're completely the apple of their eyes since then, just you.

Often times, when the wind becomes too cold, you could hear the footsteps of Samuel, stoic eyes eyeing you below and from the immense hold of his eye contact, you only now noticed his black blazer has been hovered over your shoulders, enveloping you like a blanket

"I suggest you start checking the weather before you go, otherwise you would've been freezing to death if I wasn't here... You dummy."

masked by the blunt words of his choosing, he isn't very well at hiding his care for you, he showed it far too many times than he intended that you can only chuckle at his words before you open your arms to embrace him as a sign of gratitude

gosh, what have you done to him? You've raised the stakes of his beating heart and in turn makes you the culprit of all the feelings sprawled all over his mind: giddy, shy, smitten...

His hand reaches for something to hold, like the back of your head, and your lower back as well, moving you closer to his body. Can you feel the warmth he's emitting? He doesn't usually feel this hot around the people who surround him at bars or clubs, he could only ever brush away their flirty remarks with no excuse

He isn't afraid to mingle around, nor can he give reasons of being 'taken' because he's not, but what could you be thinking if you see him with another person? Just the thought has him clicking his tongue, quite bitter than he intended it to be

if there was anything stopping him from mingling around, it's you. But it's not like he'll complain, you're the one person he'll choose anytime anyway.

Jake was your ride or die, every minute with him was a rollercoaster beyond any amusement parks he brought you to

all wrapped in his suave personality, he guides you through the flirts and surprises he has in store, ever since the three of you were young, he has expressed his adoration ever so boldly, even now

From the single flower that has been dusted in dirt because he has run into a gang fight, to the bouquet of flowers he had bundled together, each flower being the ones you've liked through the years because--of course--he remembered. From the paper rings he would often create with his notes, to the expensive ring he bought as he casually slips it on your fourth finger, declaring it as a promise of his love

"See, isn't it pretty? It's a promise ring, you know... So that once everything isn't messy anymore, i'll replace that with an engagement ring."

The day the two men drifted apart, it was heartbreaking to see your eyes shining in tears, blinking it away as you feel Jake's finger caressing your cheeks and Samuel's head gently patting your hair behind you

Ever since then, they couldn't to leave you all alone, they've settled their hatred aside and would gladly take care of you together. It was unknown when the three of you established being in a 'poly relationship' but they couldn't care less that they're both sharing you

in all honesty, if there was another man to share you with, Jake was more than happy for it to be Samuel than any other average and boring lad out there. Gladly it was the same for Samuel, he can view Jake as his rival all day long but he's aware he's the best one out of all, someone worthy to share you with

They are your guard dogs when you walk in the middle of them, other people who ogle at you will be earning glares from none other than Samuel himself, his muscular body and face is enough to make them cower away, but no, they have to receive the insults of Jake as well before leaving, hearing the way he laughs at them before his slender fingers finds sanctuary on your waist and Samuel who is holding your hand with his big one

"They're pretty aren't they? Yeah you ain't getting a chance on them, now moving along!"

"Pathetic fuckers..." Samuel mutters, guiding you through the luxurious restaurant as he smacks Jake's head to behave, quite a cute interaction if you ask

Long minutes have passed and for what seemed to be a simple but lavish date has turned into a frenzy once Jake carried you bridal style and exited the restaurant, laughing loudly together when you see Samuel's baffled expression before running after the two of you

It was then you realized that Jake had brought you to a silent park, only now did you notice it was the same park you three would often go to after school, pouting as you would bandage the bruises of the two men after their fights with other gangs, earning the title of being their 'pretty little nurse'

Sitting on the same bench as before, your head rests on Samuel's head as your legs lay comfortable on Jake's lap, merely being nostalgic with the sudden memories from 3 years ago when you three were still so carefree

But they wouldn't change it for anything, Gosh look what the three of you had, you're all still here, and that's all they could ever ask for, to be together.

#x reader #lookism #lookism webtoon #lookism x reader #samuel seo #jake kim #lookism manhwa #lookism fluff #jake kim x reader #samuel seo x reader #lookism fic

162 notes · View notes

kasagia · 6 months

Text

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 3❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: You distance yourself from your general. You have a cold war between you. Well... a real cold war in some ways, in which he tries to save you despite his greatest fear... Warning(s): the reader falls into a frozen river, a bit of angst, read at your own risk Word Count: 3,5 k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @budugu ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 4 ~•♤♤♤•~

You were better now. Your fever passed, and you were able to return to your tent. Which you did very reluctantly.

Although you didn't remember much of that first night when he took care of you.

Half of the first day was a blur for you. You didn't remember how you moved from the floor to his bed, with his arms around you as you slept peacefully, hugging into him, but you didn't complain. There was a contractual silence between you about the few days he spent taking care of you.

Afterwards, everything between you two returned to relative normality. You spent your last days in camp searching for the stag, responding to reports and letters from the capital, and preparing for your return.

You already had several plans that you wanted to put into action when you returned to the Little Palace, and you couldn't wait to do it all for Aleksander... especially now, when he had on his mind not only the search for Morozva's stag and the destruction of the fold, but also the king's illness and a possible war with Fjerdans.

Day by day, Ravka was becoming less stable, and he was the only one able to bear the burden of responsibility for this country... you wanted to make it a little easier for him. Especially since you were tormented by the sight of the dark circles under his eyes every day. So you were overseeing chasing after stag... well, you did until a snowstorm came and you had to back off to the capital.

But after talking to Alina that morning, your plans changed drastically.

"He sent Mal away? Well, he must have had a good reason. Anyway, why are you coming to me with this instead of going to him?" you ask, packing your backpack. Alina stands next to your folded tent and nervously plays with the sleeve of her coat.

"I did. He told me to stop worrying about the tracker and focus on my training. Please, you are his second-in-command; you must be able to do something. I... I just wanted to have my friend with me... at least on Christmas."

You sigh, running your hand through your hair. You liked the girl. She wasn't as arrogant as some Grishas, and she knew how to care for others. However, you saw well that, despite the privileges and admiration she received... she was not entirely able to find herself in her new role. Maybe with a tracker by her side, it would be easier for her to process who she is now—a new role assigned to her by the world.

"I'll talk to him. But I don't promise anything. If he insists, nothing will change his mind. He is sometimes more stubborn than a donkey."

Alina gives you a sad smile and nods. She whispers some thanks and walks away, clearly depressed and lost in thought. You frown as you tie your backpack to your horse's saddle.

You go to the general's tent, wondering how to start a conversation with him about the tracker. Inside, you find him talking to Ivan while he was packing to leave. He beckons to you, allowing you to approach them.

"Some of our men have already left. They took the tracker with them, just as you ordered, sir. They won't be back until they manage to find the stag. We should be able to locate it by the end of this year, General."

You look at Ivan in shock. The general always allowed his men to return to their families for the holidays. Only during the greatest crisis did he leave his people in the Little Palace or send them on very important missions. You doubted that finding the stag was that urgent... especially since a snowstorm was about to hit.

"Great. With any luck, he won't distract our Sun Summoner anymore, and the stag will finally fall into our traps. Thank you, Ivan."

Ivan nods and walks away, leaving you two alone. You stared blankly at the report he was holding for a moment. He couldn't have meant it, right? He wouldn't send his men on a dangerous mission for no good reason, certainly not for some stag...

"I don't think it's necessary to send a group of our men hunting the stag now. Especially if a snowstorm is about to hit. They should come back with us, or at least to the nearest town or village. The stag won't get far. Not in this weather."

"I didn't ask for your opinion or conjectures." he replies coldly, not looking at you. You feel like something punched you in the stomach. But you keep your tone of voice equally cold and control your facial expression to stay neutral.

"You asked for me." you see him frown in surprise at your emotionless tone, which he taught you himself. However, you see how his confusion quickly turns into indifference when he holds out a report to you.

"Another transport through the fold was unsuccessful. We lost our entire crew—many good men. Alina's training must be completed as quickly as possible, as must our stag haunting. This is in the best interest of Ravka and all of us. We don't have time for any delays or protests from hysterical orphans."

And so you had your answer. His actions and everything he did revolved around two things. Grishas and the fold. Now... a certain Sun Summoner has joined his list of priorities. His equal. The light of his darkness.

"I understand, general." you say, handing him the report back. "I'll make sure a replacement crew is sent to Kribirsk."

"What is it?" he asks you, surprised at your stoic and distant behavior. You frown, feigning confusion.

"I don't know what you are talking about, sir."

"Y/N..." he interrupts you and walks over to you, leaving the papers he was packing in his chest. He watches you closely, looking for any clue as to why you were acting the way… everyone else did towards him.

"If that's all, I have to go back to my duties."

He stands frozen for a moment, unable to understand why your behaviour changed so suddenly. You don't blame him. It's just a defensive reaction from your stupid heart. You'd rather distance yourself from him than see him so... preoccupied with another woman. A woman who was on his pedestal and who gained his trust and sympathy faster than you or anyone else. Compared to her, you were… nothing in his eyes. It's high time you understood this.

You take his silence as consent for you to leave. You nod at him and turn on your heel to leave his tent. But suddenly, he grabs your wrist tightly.

You sigh, feeling his heart beating faster thanks to the contact of his skin against yours, as he is amplifying your powers. You don't know if he notices that he's using his abilities on you, and if he does, that's the last thing he cares about.

"Y/N. Stop it." his whisper and heartbeat are all you can hear in the darkness of his tent.

"What do you mean, sir?" you ask, somehow keeping your voice from shaking.

You won't allow yourself to be anyone's pushover. Even for the man who unknowingly held your heart in his grasp. If he... cared about her more and wanted her more than anyone... you wouldn't be standing in the way of epic love.

"This. You hadn't called me like that for months."

"My apologises, sir." you say, turning to face him. His dark eyes search yours intently, trying to break through the defensive wall you've put up around yourself. You could never be someone as important to him as Alina was. You would never be at the top of his list in the first place. And once you experienced this momentary treatment from him... you didn't want to settle for anything less. You simply could not. "I won't forget my place anymore, general. Or who you are."

The tension in the room becomes more and more obvious between the two of you. He takes a step towards you. The warmth radiating from him and the familiar scent envelope you and melt your resolute attitude, but only for a moment, because you knew well what you had to do.

"And who am I to you?"

It wasn't an easy question. Certainly not ones for which there is only one answer. And maybe if he had asked it earlier, if he had looked at you with those disarming eyes a few minutes earlier and used that vulnerable tone of his voice a day ago, then you would have told him the truth. You would say how your heart missed him every damn day and how you longed to be worthy of standing by his side. But not now. Not now, when you knew you were doomed to be his second-in-command and nothing more.

"My supervisor. General of the Second Army." you lie smoothly to the most important man in your life.

To the one who saw something more in you. To the one for whom you would give your life without blinking an eye. To the one you gave your feelings to so willingly and quickly, making the whole situation more complicated.

But it wasn't your story or even your man.

That's why you step aside. If not for your own good, then for his. He deserved something better.

"Very well, colonel. That's all." you try your best not to show how hurt you are or how your title sounded filthy and offensive on his lips compared to the tender way he used to say your name.

As you leave, you hang the scarf and gloves he gave you on the nearest chair. If he wanted to treat you like any of his Grishas, then there was nothing wrong with making it even easier for him (or your heart, as you were trying to be mad at him).

After all, it was better to leave sooner rather than get hurt later…

And you didn't need him... did you?

The road to Os Alta is long. Much longer than before. You hang back with Fedyor most of the time. You only talk to Alexander from time to time. Always about the issues of the Second Army or things involving it and nothing else. Your relationship has returned to its cold and distrustful beginnings.

It's better this way.

At least that's what you try to tell yourself every time you see him talking to Alina. But when you see him laughing at some of her jokes, you lose control. A dead bird falls somewhere a few metres away from you and Fedyor.

"Y/N…control yourself. Besides, I warned you." you roll your eyes at him and huff angrily, looking away from the two extraordinary summoners.

"I do not know what you're talking about. Besides, they fit together. And how are things with Ivan?"

"Low blow." he mutters under his breath, obviously irritated by your stubbornness.

"You asked for it."

"Can't you see he misses you? Really?" he asks incredulously, and you just shrug. You adjust your red coat and wrap it more around you. It was getting colder.

"Impossible, we were talking about transporting food and weapons across the fold just an hour ago."

"Yes, and since then, when you brushed him off so coolly and professionally, he's been giving you furtive looks like a beaten puppy."

"Alina will be able to soothe his wounds. You see how she heals his heart that I've battered." you snort mockingly, shifting in the saddle.

"Alina is just trying to convince him to let Mal and the others return to the palace."

"Very good. He does have a soft side to her after all."

"Sometimes I want to punch you in the head for being stubborn, blind to feelings, afraid of being attached to and vulnerable to someone, and not believing in your own worth."

"Fedyor... control yourself." you mimic his tone mockingly.

You don't hear his response. Your attention is drawn to the frozen river in front of you. You fondly remember how you and your siblings used to skate on such rivers and lakes.

And then you see a girl in the middle of the river. In skates, crying, and calling for someone. On the other bank, you see a group of children running away into the forest. The girl tries to move, but suddenly freezes and looks down at the ice.

Fedyor notices you looking at something in the distance. He freezes at what you two see. Out of the corner of your eye, you see realisation dawn on his face as he notices the plan forming in your eyes.

"Y/N... no." he shakes his head, but it's too late. You lead your horse towards the river, separating yourself from the group. Behind you, you hear Fedyor speeding up his horse to get to the general's side.

"Y/N!" the general's scream echoes through the area. You tremble, but you only accelerate your horse, trying to get to the shore as quickly as possible. "Y/N!"

You hear his horse pounding, and the surroundings grow darker with his shadows as he tries to hold you back. But you're too close, and you are not going to stop or let anyone stop you.

"Y/N!"

You're not listening to him. You are only focused on one thing. You jump off your horse and run towards the river. Along the way, you pick up a long stick before stepping onto the ice.

"Y/N, come back here!" he growls after you, knowing full well that if he tried to use the shadows, he might break the ice beneath you.

You ignore him, not even turning your head towards him as you slowly walk towards the child who is trembling, trying her hardest not to break any more ice beneath her. You feel everyone's eyes burning at you, but all you can do is keep going. Slowly. Step by step, listen carefully to every sound the ice beneath you might make.

You stop for a moment, hearing the ice crunch beneath you and struggling to keep your balance on the slippery ice, which is becoming quite fragile the deeper you go.

"Y/N, don't play a damn saint! Y/N!" he shouts at you from the shore. If you were less focused, you would wonder why he didn't follow you and didn't even set foot on the thick ice.

In any other situation, you would be terrified by the tone of his voice as he was shouting at you. In fact, you don't think you can remember him ever sounding so angry, so dreadful, and... so fearful himself at the same time. But now you had a more important mission to accomplish than listening to his voice coming from the shore. You would deal with his anger later... or at least you hoped so.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" you ask the girl once you're close enough. You use your powers to slow down the beating of her heart, which is racing with fear.

She tells you her name. She trembles, scared, as another scream from Kirigan comes from the shore, this time calling for Zoya or some tidemaker.

As the little girl trembles in fear, you see delicate, small circles of fire forming around her hands. Inferni. An inexperienced Inferni in the middle of a fucking, barely frozen river. Excellently.

"It's a lovely name. Don't worry, sweetheart, my friend is a little worried about me. He is just a drama queen. He worries about me more than my own mom. But everything will be fine, right?" you somehow manage to make her chuckle briefly.

"You are Grisha. My brother too. They took him to the palace. I'd like to see him…" you smile at her fondly. You sigh in relief as you see her calm down, the glow of the fire disappearing from her hands.

"I'm sure he's in good hands. And I guess you'll see each other soon. First, let's get you out of here, shall we?" you say, extending a branch towards her to catch it.

She screams as suddenly the ice beneath her breaks with a crack. At the last moment, she grabs a branch, and you pull her towards you and then push her far behind you. You hold your breath as you see the ice beneath you crack dangerously.

"Y/N!"

You ignore him, trying not to look his way. You don't know why. Whether it was to not show him that you were afraid or because you didn't want to have the last memory of him being like this... in a situation like this.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see more and more Grishas gathering at the shore. You see the blue kefta of a tidemaker in the distance.

"Can I help you somehow?" a child's question snaps you out of your mind. You shake your head, smiling at her, to reassure her as much as possible.

"I'll be fine. Just go that way. The ice is the thickest there; with your weight, it shouldn't even creak under you."

The girl nods. You see her taking slow steps and walking towards the shore, where there were other Grishas.

You close your eyes. You calm your breathing and try to shift your body weight. Your slightest movement causes the ice to break slightly beneath you again.

"Y/N! DON'T DARE!"

The ice crumbles more and more beneath you, and you can't help but let out a scream as, despite your attempts to get onto firmer ice, you fall into the chilly, rushing river beneath you. You take a deep breath, knowing full well that any supply of oxygen will soon be worth its weight in gold for you.

Before the cold water envelopes you, you hear his scream echoing on the surface, muffled by the ice.

You feel calm. Despite the situation you are in. The cool water around you makes you feel strange. You don't feel anything. You don't hear anything. You don't think about anything. You are drifting, carried along by the current of water, and you are completely unaware of anything around you.

You have risked your life many times. You have found yourself in difficult situations many times. Other soldiers told how their lives flashed before their eyes as they believed they were seconds away from death. How the moments with their beloveds played in their minds as the only memory they wanted to take to their grave.

But you didn't feel anything.

There was only darkness before your eyes. Shadows. His shadows. Then came the hands, with which he summoned them. Then his muscular, but not excessively so as many men have, figure, his beard, and his face. And eyes. Somehow, all you could think about were his eyes. The disappointed look you got from him a few hours ago. And as the cool water hit your lungs, you couldn't help but think—maybe it was better this way?

But you are not allowed to think any longer.

You feel something strong grab your clothes and pull you out of the water. Subconsciously, you fight against the tight grip on you, choking and coughing. Hands press against your chest. Then something soft and warm is placed on your lips. You feel the air trying to get into your lungs through the water in them. You are turned on your side as you spit and cough out water and some thick liquid.

You register someone's loud, dry, sharp screams, orders being thrown in every direction, and the tramp of feet around you. You hear threats being whispered in your direction, your name screaming several times as you are shaken by the shoulders.

As you take wheezing, painful breaths, your clothes are removed. You shiver with cold, trying to push away the hands on you, but suddenly something holds them in a foreboding grip. You're sure you're shaking like jelly at the Winter Fiesta in the Palace when you're stripped of everything but your underwear. You feel like a doll as you are changed by someone into soft, dry clothes that are much more comfortable than the outfit you had before.

Another layer of clothes is placed on you, and along with the strangely familiar scent, you feel something soft tickle your cheeks. You bury your face in the fur. If you could open your eyes, you would see that it was black, like most of your new clothes. A rough hand wanders under your clothes and pulls your wet underwear off, ripping them and taking them off of you, so now you are wearing completely dry clothes.

You hear the sound of the river much clearer than before. And a few heartbeats. One, especially louder and closer to you than any other. Suddenly, you realise that you are floating above the ground, pressed against something very warm. You snuggle into your new source of warmth, pressing completely against it. The heartbeat speeds up, and you are held tighter and stronger. And before you drift off into the darkness, you hear a soft, warm whisper:

"Stay with me, Y/N. Just stay with me."

You cannot. You allow the darkness to surround you, greeting it with relief as the raging thoughts, deafening sounds, screams, footsteps, and horses around you and other stimuli disappear.

You were just so cold…

212 notes · View notes