#aperture comparison

[freddy-mercy]

[nuttersincorporated]

Virgil is more than 'Wheatley, if he didn't betray you'

I wish some fans wouldn’t insist that Virgil is ‘Wheatley, if he didn’t betray you!’ They are two very different characters and reducing Virgil to that isn’t fair on either of them. It also makes a lot of Wheatley fans dislike Virgil on principle.

If Portal Stories: Mel was an official game that came out before Portal 2, nobody would call Wheatley, ‘Virgil, if he betrayed you!’ They would recognise them as the two distinct characters they are.

If PS:M came out first, it would have made Wheatley’s betrayal and character arc even more painful and impactful because we would have learned that there were AI’s in Aperture that we could trust. Virgil would also probably have around as many fans as Wheatley does because they wouldn’t be compared in the same way.

None of the other characters get this treatment. Grady isn’t ‘Glitchy if he thought he’d found his purpose.’ Nigel isn’t ‘the Narrator core, if he decided to talk directly to you, rather than just narrating from afar.’

Is it fun to wonder what Virgil and Wheatley would have done differently if they’d swapped places? Yes! I’ve done it myself (here and here). However, they are more than just a reflection of each other.

I have a love/hate relationship with Wheatley. He is an incredibly well written and complex villain, with so many personality flaws. He was always doomed to betray Chell and it will always hurt because I want him to make the right choice.

Wheatley says that he is sorry after everything is over. However, I honestly think, if Wheatley somehow made it back to Earth and got into a position of power, he would still lash out and make selfish choices. I wouldn’t want to hang out with Wheatley because I don’t believe he’s changed.

I just love Virgil. He is a good friend. You could spill the tea with him about anything and he’d enjoy chatting with you. He will go out of his way to help a friend because he has the emotional maturity and intelligence to consider other people’s wants and needs. Virgil has his flaws but is able to recognise them. I would love hanging out with him.

Out of the two, Virgil is defiantly my favourite. I want all his fans and his haters (mostly just Wheatly fans who hate him on principle) to recognise that he is more than just Wheatley, in a story that doesn’t make him betray you.

[spacenutspod]

Join us for SpaceTime Series 27 Episode 68, where we explore the latest cosmic discoveries and technological advancements shaping our understanding of the universe. First, we uncover new evidence suggesting that Venus is volcanically active. By analysing data from NASA's Magellan radar, scientists have identified two volcanoes on Venus that erupted in the early 1990s. This discovery adds to the growing body of evidence that Venus may be far more volcanically active than previously thought. Next, we discuss the discovery of a new kind of volcanic eruption on Earth. Researchers have identified a unique eruption mechanism at Hawaii's Kilauea volcano, describing it as a "stomp rocket" eruption driven by sudden pressure increases as the ground collapses. Finally, we look forward to the maiden flight of the European Space Agency's new Ariane 6 rocket, now slated for next month. This launch marks a significant milestone in Europe's space exploration capabilities. 00:00 This is spacetime series 27, episode 68 for broadcast on 5 June 2024 00:45 Two volcanoes on Venus appear to have erupted in the early 1990s 05:40 Venus is often considered to be earths sister planet with runaway greenhouse effect 09:47 Scientists say Kilauea volcano erupted like a stomp rocket in 2018 14:05 The maiden flight of the European Space Agency's new Ariane six rocket now likely 19:19 The upper and main stages of the Ariane six flight model have arrived 22:03 New study says vaccines for bird flu are best defence if virus spreads between humans 24:03 Study finds popular teens sleep 27 minutes less per night than their peers 25:57 There are growing concerns about inaccurate information coming out of artificial intelligence programmes 26:41 Google's AI overviews are giving very strange information based on Reddit posts 27:45 Sam Altman has rushed to form a new AI safety team 31:03 Spacetime is available every Monday, Wednesday and Friday  Follow our cosmic conversations on X @stuartgary, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. Join us as we unravel the mysteries of the universe, one episode at a time. Sponsor Offer This episode is proudly supported by NordPass. Secure your digital journey across the cosmos with a password manager you can trust. Find your stellar security solution at https://www.bitesz.com/nordpass. Listen to SpaceTime on your favourite podcast app including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. Support SpaceTime Become a supporter of SpaceTime: If you'd like to support SpaceTime and access early release episodes, commercial-free...then look for us on Patreon or Supercast. Links on our website at spacetimewithstuart.com  https://www.bitesz.com/show/spacetime/support/ www.bitesz.com

[joearf]

2022.10.30: Two Takes - Grigg Street, Greenwich, CT

[absolutebl]

Genuine Question: Given how much people hate problematic topics in BL eg: kp, mame, love syndrome, etc. why is everyone so damn excited about Only Friends? Like we know nothing about the show. It's GMMTV so how sexy is it going to get? you know, like it's GMMTV. I like the cast as much as anyone and particularly FirstKhao but I don't see this 'sexiness' everyone is going so crazy over? Is it some bts thing like I know the director is jojo and he's gay. Is that why everyone so excited? Is it because we just haven't gotten anything really brilliant this year that gets the whole BL fandom together and that's why people are hoping this will, is that what's going on? I like everyone involved well enough but 'sexy', 'crazy', 'problematic', 'high heat'... I don't get it.

Only Friends & Jojo

Genuine answer.

Okay so this question got me invested enough to get off the phone, over to the laptop, and onto hotel wifi, which means typos rather than dictation homophones, but there it is.

I guess what I am saying it...

mistakes will be made

From the tenor of your question methinks you have not watched Friend Zone? It's a 2 part series. Mostly messy hets but...

Also a TON of broad spectrum queer rep (lesbian, bi, ace, demi). Real queers, not sanitized for straight consumption.

Because yeah, GMMTV will get messy and go into higher heat levels in a late night way (not in a KP way).

But actually what has most people excited about Only Friends is it being sourced in this man:

Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong

Jojo is a screenwriter (originals) and director, openly gay, multifaceted and a little experimental, naturally talented (on the job trained - he's an archaeologist originally), and he is behind:

The Warp Effect, Friend Zone and MOST importantly (IMHO)...

3 Will Be Free

There are others too, but for the purposes of this post, those are the 3 that count. I think of him a little as the GMMTV director version of Ohm's acting.

Jojo specializes in:

ensemble pieces,

good chemistry (NOT necessarily high heat, so by this I mean actor chemistry with each other all around - couples, cast, team, production)

working with and finding actors within GMMTV's stable who work well together (even if that means busting up a pair),

a queer lens,

queer rep,

and often very messy story (as in he is not invested in the traditional beats of a romance, let alone a BL).

AND he can shoot action (this is a specific skill set for directors and it's NOT easy),

thus he will shoot his sex/intimacy & COMEDY scenes as if they WERE action sequences.

This makes his stuff particularly exciting to watch. It's dynamic, there's a lot of movement, the eye is caught and dragged places. He doesn't use dirty/peekaboo framing or central aperture or manga style (not with INTENT the way trained directors do). In fact he does none of those things I harp on about because I like the romance stuff.

He's not being clever with us. He's being honest, but still applying skill. His stuff not quite raw, but also not really directed. You can tell he gives his actors a script, throws them together and then instructs them to just BE THOSE CHARACTERS. He has a light touch, he trusts them. He's not fussy or nit-picky. He's not doing a million takes to get that sene exactly how he envisions it. His ensemble pieces are just that, group projects.

His eye is wide, even for intimacy, by which I mean: he controls and watches for multiple actors at once when there are a lot of them on screen together, without them feeling stiff.

His style is quite organic but not too gritty.

Struggling to understand what I mean?

For example, watch a Jojo "group of friends chatting" scene where everyone is just standing around then watch the same thing in, say, SCOY. You'll see what I mean. SCOY is also a very queer ensemble piece, but it will feel quite stiff, unnatural, and "planned" (staged) by comparison.

For the giffers out there you might notice that Jojo's stuff is particularly difficult to gif cleanly? This is why.

I find him an exciting director. I didn't cover him in my directors overview because at the time he hadn't done much BL (and frankly, he still hasn't). It's not his focus.

I think Only Friends is actually not likely to be very BL. Queer = yes, BL = NO. He won't hit the tropes and there is no reason to assume it will end happily for all couples (if any). That's not Jojo's point of view.

He doesn't play our game. As a result, some of those excited by the idea of this show (or excited the general enthusiasm & anticipation around it), may be doomed to disappointment.

It's one of the reasons you don't see me getting excited about it.

I'm a fan of specifically the fluffy side of BL, this will NOT be that. And I can appreciate a director without necessarily liking the stories he tells.

I am industry enough to acknowledge Jojo's skill (and I LOVE 3 Will Be Free - just not as a BL), but I don't always like his narratives. No matter how good he is, his stuff is not why I personally watch Thai BL.

It's GMMTV, so how sexy is it going to get?

Again, see Friend Zone. GMMTV has a late night pantheon, mostly for het, but they will get salacious. Lots of cheating and terrible decisions. There will be no archetypes. Characters will exist in grey areas, even the "good" characters. There will be no paladins in this show. No seme/uke.

To answer this frankly?

Only Friends will get soap opera or telenovella sexy but no more. So we will be in Midnight Chicken territory, not Bed Friends.

I think the words being bandied about:

'sexy', 'crazy', 'problematic', 'high heat'

are used here on tumblr (and in fandom) as an attempt to articulate expectations set up by Jojo's style.

Most viewers only react emotionally to the tenor of a director with this set of skills. That's fine, that's what the production company wants: A visceral emotional reaction.

But I hope I've managed to clarify from a film-critic perspective what's bringing this sensation about?

But ALSO seeing a bunch of, essentially, lower heat pure BL pairs, have to push themselves into messy queer spaces? (Notice GMMTV only let the more established actors into this one? No JoongDunk, no GeminiFourth)

This is probably really what everyone is excited about.

They are gonna see their favorites cheat, sleep around, be gay (not BL gay, but actual gay). Some are legitimately excited about this, some are shipper excited, and the BL-stans who don't know Jojo are doomed to disappointment.

I'm mostly excited by how messy this is gonna make the fandom.

Su su na.

(source)

[the-starlight-project]

So, I noticed that choice of words on one of the earlier asks. So, I have to ask, on a scale of 1 to 10, how slimy and concerning are the backstage problems of starlight studios (I believe that's the name) compared to the disturbing events going on behind the scenes of the (hopefully) fictional company of aperture science?

haha, don't worry, aperture is fake - you would know that if you played "wormhole" too (i actually prefer the second one, sue me)

on a scale of one to ten in terms of comparison, though ... i'd say a solid 6/10 on the slime scale. they have some ai similarities, though nothing as murderous.

that bot still creeps me out though. just a little.

-D

[canary-song]

Stands in your doorway. Hands you more headcanons for Noir Pete

(A majority of these relate to his universe signature / medium)

-Later, upon having more consistent contact with the multiverse/other spiders, he gets his goggles modified to include camera-aperture-like "eyelids" that can help him with reducing light (and they look cool). He stays pretty unexpressive mask/goggles wise, though, in comparison to the majority of the spiderpeople

-(Stares at you. Makes the shunk-shunk noise as I shut my aperture lenses several times as if blinking to show my disbelief)

-His voice has a bit of static to it, and if he raises his voice or gets emotional, it can start having an old-timey radio feedback. Additionally, even his breathing produces a slight static noise

-^He might be able to learn how to do this on purpose for jokes / at the request of others

-When harmed outside of his own universe, his image can glitch and flash black / appear "dotted", as if being a black and white film that's been damaged/burned.

-Continuing the above sort of aesthetic, close to unconsciousness, he has a visible "cue dot" that appears as a freckle on the top right of his face. I thought the idea of cue dots was neat so I'm trying to shoehorn in the knowledge of it.

-C'mon, give my man more everyday scars. I guess technically this applies to all spiderpeople pre-bite, but think like, cooking accident scars, little pockmark scars from childhood chickenpox, etc.

-If he ever gained color by being in another universe for long enough, he would probably slowly shift from Monochrome => Sepia Tone => the look of a colorized previously-monochrome film, but never truly full color

Perhaps in the future someone could add something to the multiverse hop watches that would stabilize out-of-universe spiderpeople / remove some of the more blatant "eccentricites" of their universe signatures and make them conform more to the local style, for stealth, but outside of stealth reasons, it would be per-preference for each individual on how often they would have this turned on.

[tricobicofriend]

FASGKLJDHL note to myself from 2021:

this is now my backstory for my portal self insert--they(aperture) wanted to test how ppl w adhd solved tests in comparison to others "in hopes of showing the world you aren't as dumb as they think" then glados happened or smth & they were in stasis at the same times as chell

[junetoosoon]

It's 3am and I can't escape the thoughts about Stirling so let's do this (SPOILERS FOR PORTAL: REVOLUTION):

(My sleepy ass can't figure out how to make the "read more," thing appear here so apologies for the potentially unavoidable block of text for anyone not reading)

First and foremost, I adore Stirling so much. He's so fun and silly, the writing for all of his dialogue is so good and William Neal delivers them perfectly. Especially when Stirling stops pretending to be an announcer and speaks more naturally.

I think partly because of how much I loved him I feel mixed on where his character goes towards the end. I think his betrayal happened way too fast to feel right. It's barely a few chambers before that he's genuinely thanking us for the help we've given him, yet the next time we meet him he's decided we're going to betray him?

Using Portal 2 as a comparison point, Wheatley's betrayal also happened quite suddenly, but there was at least reason for that. He got put into GLaDOS' body which fucked up his mental state and made him insanely powerful, the perfect combo for a power trip. Plus Wheatley as a character is clearly insecure. He constantly tries to look smarter than he is, so it makes sense that when he trips on power, he lashes out due to those feelings.

All of those things make it work. Yet with Stirling there's nothing like that. The impression I get of Stirling is just a guy who wants to do his job and clean the facility, and he needs your help to do that. He's dedicated to that job and Aperture over everything else, but he does still come to bond with you over the course of the game. I could see his dedication being a really good way to write in his betrayal, but it isn't, at least not well. He just seemingly decides we're working against him and that's that.

In spite of this though I did love the ending. The dialogue between him and Emilia was so funny, I could've listened to so much more of them. Hell, more of them talking could've helped build up to the betrayal before it happened. I definitely didn't grow as attached to Emilia as I did Stirling, I think partly again because the ending felt quite fast. We don't get much time with her before we're picking her over Stirling and he's evil.

I saw a comment somewhere of someone suggesting we pick between Stirling or Emilia towards the end and I would've loved that. During the game itself I was wishing for that sort of option. I was fully down to help Stirling restore GLaDOS and then be escorted out the facility. Obviously lore wise GLaDOS wouldn't actually be woken up, but I would've picked at least trying to help him any day of the week.

In conclusion: Portal Revolution is an amazing mod, the visuals are great, the gameplay is great, the puzzles are amazing, the voice acting is really good, the dialogue is super funny, and most of the writing in general is really good. It's unfortunately just the ending that feels rushed, which is a shame considering how good it is before that.

Anyway if anyone actually read that mini essay, thank you!! I'd love to hear your thoughts on the game and its characters.

[khaliarart]

Quick question, I know you don't like anno being used as like, the announcer for other people's stuff. But would you mind telling me what to avoid? I really don't want to accidentally copy you ;A;

Thank you so much for being so considerate! I appreciate it ♡

I want to start this by saying love seeing other Announcer OCs and I'd never want to discourage anyone from making one! They usually make my day.

However, I had to get a little more critical due to someone on Instagram copying my design too close for comfort.

(Pics for comparison). Here‘s what I feel are the most unique traits of my Anno:

-gold clasps/ornaments

-dimensional/organic eyelid (does not go for mechanical/aperture & actual skin-color organic eyelid. Just the variation I do)

-brown-colored helmet

-that girliepop slay shine on the eyelid

I‘m not saying you can‘t use any of these, and I especially don‘t own the exclusive right to add gold to his outfit as it is a natural assumption for a character like that. But I‘d rather see artists making other fun designs! There is so many possibilities for this character.

[freddy-mercy]

[crypt1c-gho3t]

Portal and Feminism

okay because it was 12 years of portal 2 yesterday I thought my first official post should be my thoughts on feminism in the saga 

the main problem is that a lot of the times in the media violence against women is used as a plot device to make a character stronger. it’s not empowering to be a sexually assaulted and/or abused but the media often makes these themes a “phoenix” moment for women.

and while it is satisfying to see women stick it to their abusers, This portrayal often boils women down to their only defining trait being their sexuality and the only real “motivation” for women to be powerful is having that sexuality threatened.  

This abuse also enforces the point that you have to become more masculine and drop feminine traits in order to become stronger and more powerful.

women do not need to go through abuse in order to be considered powerful, being a woman is powerful enough. being feminine is being strong

This is where portal comes into play. I’ll start with what i’m sure you all guessed i was going to bring up first but in the actual games and mods every main playable character is a female (portal 1& 2 and portal mel stories) or doesn’t have a specific gender to interpret( portal 2 multi player & portal reloaded).

in addition to this one of the main “villains” is also a woman. in the first game she is given no redeeming qualities but gets “redeemed” anyways showing fleshed out characters with interesting character development and even though this development get erased (sry caroline) it’s GLaDOS’s choice and not somebody else taking it away or making that choice for her

most importantly the women in this game are influential. The classic comparison of “can this character be replaced by a lampshade” doesn’t apply to the game. whether she’s a villain or a playable character everything is biased off the decisions women make and their influence.

and while there are male side characters(the cores) the portal women are never shown to be dependent on them for coming up with solutions to problems or saving them. In fact the cores are very rarely shown to do anything that isn’t driven by what the portal women do.

the fact the chell isn’t pointed out to be a woman, she is mainly a blank slate except from the player views her through portals, is also a prime example of this feminism because it isn’t calling attention to the different ways that men and women act it forces you to focus on not the gender of the character but of the actual gameplay

now i know nothing about game development and in the mod mel stories it may have been simpler to keep the main character a female when designing. but the choice to keep mel as an olympian and how they chose to portray female olympian instead of a male shows the dedication to having powerful woman “outside” the game and inside the game meaning that she was already strong but was made even stronger by what she went through in aperture.

and yes, they do go through hardships and are exposed to many challenges yet they are never shown to be abused or sexually assaulted. they have their “phoenix” moments anyway

anyways thanks for reading and another great example of this is Ashoka Tano and her journey!

[televisionenjoyer]

HOW DO YOU GET THAT VINTAGE LOOK I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR AGES I don't want to buy a polaroid

Doesn't show but I'm actually excited as fuck about it. I've been a photographer for like, what, six years? maybe seven? I have a trusty DSLR that might be old by today's standards but still takes beautiful, professional quality pictures. I've tried all kinds of flashes and filters to get this sort of look but you know what did it? My mom's early 2000s camera. Yeah, one of these

that picture was taken with the camera on the left, a Samsung ST66, I would consider it a midrange 2010s digital camera in regards to the quality and liberty of adjustments. the camera on the right is my backup for the day, a Kodak Easyshare C142, your average economic family camera (everyone knows someone who owns one of these I believe)

Highest chances are, you probably have someone in your family with a digicam abandoned on some drawer because people don't use these anymore, they've abandoned them in favor of their phones. If this isn't the case, you can probably get one on a secondhand store or eBay, for pretty cheap!

(I don't have many recommendations, other than probably get one that's over 12mp, with at least 3x zoom, preferably from 2010 or newer. As to brands, it's a lottery. People recommend the Nikon Coolpix a lot (I love Nikon sensors so I can vouch for that much) or Olympus and Canon cameras. Despite what you may believe, Kodak hasn't made a good digital sensor since, well, never, so I wouldn't personally recommend it a lot)

Why a digicam?

why not!! here's two features of your digicam that your phone doesn't have:

- analog zoom: you know when you're zooming in on one of these and the lens starts making noises and moving around? that's the multiple individual lenses in your camera moving around so that you can zoom in three, five, or even ten times the size of your picture without losing any quality. what your phone does when you zoom in, in opposition, is basically cropping the picture you're taking. digital zoom is inherently lossy — not to mention the angular graduation of phone lenses causes the image to have some distortion in comparison to the way we see (yeah, this is why you look ugly on your pictures but pretty in the mirror)

- big, harsh, blinding flash: this is THE MAIN THING, the main element of that "polaroid look". These types of cameras have a limited or nonexistent aperture range, so they overcompensate by turning on auto flash. This overcompensation results in a very characteristic look that makes us feel nostalgic. when taking night pictures, turn that flash on!!!

and, here are two features of your digicam that a professional camera doesn't have:

- small, harsh, crappy flash: see: above. DSLR's built in flashes... They do the job. Everyone knows if you need the real deal you gotta get one of those big fancy fixtures, but also, Nikon doesn't want you taking crappy pictures with their camera so they put some work into defusing the flash and shit so it's not as crappy and harsh. Joke's on them, we kinda like that!!

- smaller, cheaper, limited, overall CRAPPIER: and you know what? That's good. A point and shoot cam is good actually!! we get lost in features and lenses and sometimes it's a bit much. A small portable camera with its so many limitations can help us focus on composition and storytelling, and mainly just... Having fun!!! photography used to be about having fun, remember? whether you're out on your own or with friends, you and other people will take your crappy digicam wayyy less seriously than they would your professional cam. And that takes a lot of pressure away.

Anyways this is your sign to dust off your crappy digicam and go shoot some pictures.

[bigshotexpress]

poppy playtime chapter 3 spoilers ( i am watching a lets play, this is a live blogging)

bioshock vibes with the radio messages.

seems pretty spooky so far. though, man, the escalation is pretty quick. poppy playtime is doing its best to beat the 'horror for children' allegations it seems.

like, the line about the dead kid in the duffle bag really isn't even. that horrifying as far as horror games go, i think? but it caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting it to be that blunt about it.

ah. the huggy from the trailer IS, in fact, a hallucination. cool

oh! kissy missy! cool! i wonder if they're going to get into the horror of Her existence. There seems to be some strong implications here.

ah. we're getting to actually hear the children talk now. that's gonna help with the horror escalation. before the kids were just... an implied reality. didn't have to really face it deeper than a surface level awareness. with visuals or audio of the kids? that is gonna help make things a lot more scary.

have the devs said how many chapters this game is going to be?? i wonder how much more there is planned for this.

wanted to make a 'would you rather be stuck in the superstar daycare (fnaf) or playcare (ppt)' but like. objectively superstar daycare is better. fazbear ent is not intentionally trying to murder children like, as a whole, they just keep having rabbit-dressed people kill people in their establishment. playtime co is actively and intentionally murdering people as a whole.

unfortunately, i gotta say, ppt is starting to fall into the batim... 'this building could not possibly be this big'. it reminds me of portal in a way, and I've never questioned how big the aperture building was, but thats because its Comedic. I am having trouble suspending my disbelief on playtime co being able to make this much underground factory without the world knowing that they HAVE that large space, even if not whats down there. batim escaped this by being semi-reality, and aperture is. comedic. but ppt has yet to justify itself to my brain. small thing though, unimportant.

oh kissy and poppy time! hi!

oh, player got tortured? interesting. mommy long legs also said player worked there, though. interesting.

(GASP) THE MIMIC PROTOTYPE!!

he trapped poppy in the case? also wow, 'god awful'. I was caught off guard by that. just didn't think she'd use that. phrase?

oh hey! huggy confirmed dead! rip huggy boy.

ollie why do you speak like dora explaining what us kids at home should do. who are you. what are you.

'why does catnap avoid the school?' because it used to be a kid. I would avoid it too.

hm. okay well dawko's title sorta spoils the name of the shadow lady from the trailer. but okay. oh wait no its brought up in the game like two minutes in. fair enough.

ohh she knows us too and also confirms player used to work there. is miss delight like. an actual person???

Ah. wanting to murder all of the children. Well, hello Mrs Afton, I guess.

oh nope she is a toy. i think? she has a cut out. probably a toy. oh. yep thats a toy. has a lights on lights off weeping angel mechanic too. neat. not that scary to me, though. partially because i cant get a good look at her dang design. partially because she's so brightly colored. sorry girl the bright blonde hair is not helping your fear factor. dawko disagrees with this opinion evidently lol.

oh oof she keeps clipping through a closed door. with her mechanic, in such a tight space, doesn't seem fair. rip dawko.

why does she have that moon laugh.sfx i know, unfair comparison, but it just sounds so much like moon's laugh but. female voice actor.

dawko brings up lack of checkpoints, and that paired with the clipping through closed gate thing makes me thing the devs thought this segment was a lot easier than it seems to actually be. partially because of that clipping bug, probably.

end of liveblogging part 1

[wellnoe]

I LOVE that Madelyne is in the comic! What happens with her in this au 👀

tldr: madelyne is on scott's more radical mutant team, comes out as a lesbian buzzes her hair starts going by mads and starts dating emma frost.

the longer (and more interesting) version: immediately post this comic scott and mads get picked up by magneto, who helps them get on their feet again all while under the impression that mads is jean.

mads' story in aperture is about finding personhood and agency and security after you have already accomplished the thing that was supposed to give you that. she killed sinister!! she escaped!! she wears his suit and cape and he is in the ground and what comes next? unlike in 616, she and scott are able to bond over a lot of their similarities, and she doesn't have that relationship hanging around her neck drawing comparisons to jean. so her storyline is very much about building a self from the ground up (which i think is something that is fun to think about in context of her relationship to emma in this au).

[sandsorghum]

save me

i know it's all in my mind but im in such a mess and bind over him…how does he inspire such woe and wonder, so much my muse and still so mortal? I cannot grasp his grip on me. it's so far beyond the realm of the rational, it almost actively jeopardizes my sanity. how to explain his hold over me, much more than the psychological, carnal, ethereal…all these emotions boiling over while i scrape the bottom of the barrel searching for synonyms to do justice to his beauty and valour. Every day - every hour, i grow a little more bereft of clarity, like breath fogging a mirror or mineral deposits building up around a caldera. There's a dryness coagulating across the tongue when i speak his name, either swallowing saltwater or gasping for oxygen - feeling more focused and lightheaded than ever before with him as both beacon and jagged cove. My harbour, my harbinger, my harpoon straight through the heart - amidst the tempest, a single truth gleams cold and irrefutable; the fact that he's fictional is simultaneously curse and consolation. I shudder and scoff at the thought that anything approaching this intensity could transcend into reality. I will flay it apart, how else to understand it, this is my punishment and indulgence. This craving knows no comparisons, I cannot identify absolution in any form but his. Momentarily I entertain the thought that some body might yet satirize such desire, denigrate it to a pale imitation of misplaced passions, but such hubris hasn't been proven. I have such certainty nothing could cast those aspersions, or insinuations of it being anything lesser than all-consuming, inherent; it is a madness that has molded me! (Intangibly, if not irrevocably.) He survives the scrutiny of my microscope, the aberration of rose-tinted lenses, who else can measure up to these angles?

Now all that remains is to preserve him in polaroids, to frame his portrait and offer others an aperture through which he might be glimpsed. A focal length that requires continuous refining but oh, in one secret still beat of my heart, I have him wholly captured, his soul salvaged as much as mine.