#apologising to Boo because i ruined her life

[deadandwalking]

if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Propaganda under the cut.

Betty Grof:

okay so picture this. you're a graduate student living with your fiance and he finds a magic crown that drives him crazy while he has it on. you run away frightened during this initial incident, and he never sees you again. one thousand years later he regains his self after being consumed by the crown and makes a time portal to apologise. you leave him in the past for him in the future and jump through the portal. you beatup an antimagic monster and dissapear. you become the apprentice to a powerful but mad wizard and steal his powers in a magical ritual, rendering him normal and you with the key components of magic - madness and sadness. you girlboss around for a while, you steal your boo's magic crown to try reprogram it and create an ai clone of yourself inside of it, but your plans get foiled but his vampire sort of daughter and her science nerd girlfriend. the ai of you and the him inside the crown hang out though. you try to go out on a date with him so he remembers. it doesnt work. after so many failed plans you eventually decide to try and just approach him as him. you've changed, so has he. maybe betty and simon are gone but magic woman and the ice king can have a future. his roommate freezes you and uses you as a magic battery to cast a horrible spell that transforms the world into an elemental landscape, where individuals are overwhelmed by their elements. he and some other guys save you and unfreeze you. you come up with a plan to reverse the elemental spell, and get the other guys to do your bidding. you betray them and cast a time spell to stop him from ever putting on the crown. you get foiled and sent to mars. the guy whose powers you stole is now the king. as penance you have to fill a pit with sand grain by grain. one of those guys and his brother are trying to save the other guy and you go through a freaky temple with them, where you confront how much you've given up for your lost fiance. you learn the wrong lesson. you summon the elder embodiment of chaos in an attempt to harness its power. it doesnt work. the world is going to be destroyed. you and he and one of those other guys are being digested in golb's belly, reverted to your original forms. you reunite with him - not magic woman and the ice king, betty and simon. you make out a bunch. harmony through song punches a hole in the chaos god's belly and you can escape. you stay. his crown has reverted to its base wishing state. you push him through and make your deepest wish. you wish for the power to keep him safe. you become one with the chaos god, merging with his very being. you are betty. you are golb. you have the power to keep simon safe, and you have lost yourself for it again. but it is done. the end of the world is over. he will go to the ends of the multiverse to search for you. you are gone. yeah i just think shes kind of a girlboss and definitely morally grey and itd be cool if she was here

Evelyn Wang:

Homophobic mother learns to accept her gay daughter by acquiring multiverse powers. Goes a bit over board with the nihilism at one point and ruins everyone's (everywhere all at once) lives but fixes it in the end. Makes her husband (the sweetest man in the world) sad multiple times in the movie because she feels her life would have been better without him but eventually realizes she hit the jackpot. A girlboss because of how much of a girlfailure she is ("Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here, you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. You have so many goals you never finished, dreams you never followed. You're kiving your worst you.”)

[neonlights92]

Night Changes: PART TWO

Jeon Jungkook has spent the last twenty years alone.  Single.  Solo.

And that’s just the way he likes it.  That is, until he meets the supposed love of his life.  Suddenly he’s falling over himself at the chance of a real relationship with someone.

The only thing getting in his way? You.

genre: fuckboy!jungkookie, college!jungkookie, romcom, e2l (kinda)

AN: I am so fuckin soft for college Kook you wouldn’t even belieeeeeve

Within days of their ‘truce’, Jungkook realises what a huge dickhead he truly is for not remembering Y/N’s name.

She shares his timetable almost entirely.

“I’m the worst.” He bemoans after a particularly stressful lecture on American poetry, “You weren’t kidding when you said you were in all my classes.”

“Almost all your classes.” She laughs a little at the look on his face and shrugs, “I did tell you.”

“It makes perfect sense now why you hate me.”

Y/N nudges him playfully and shakes her head, “I don’t hate you.” “Yes you do.”  He sniffles dramatically, “And you should.  I’m an asshole.”

She pulls a face, “Now what am I meant to do here?  Tell you that you’re not an asshole?  That would be lying.” Jungkook reaches for his heart theatrically and frowns.

“I deserve that.”

She scoffs playfully, “Shut up, Jungkook.”

It’s been exactly four days since Jungkook and Y/N began to hatch their plan to try and get their respective soulmates to fall in love with them.

And though Y/N’s original idea was to host some kind of movie night at her apartment Jungkook has been slowly persuading her into throwing a full blown party.  Park Jimin is an absolute animal, Jungkook promises her (that’s a huge stretch, but what college student doesn’t like alcohol and loud music?) and throwing a party is a surefire way to get him to agree to coming. 

But Y/N isn’t so easily swayed.

“I’m going to make it up to you,” Jungkook tells her confidently, “I’m going to make sure that you and Jimin get together, and then when you have beautiful babies together you’ll be thanking me.  And we’ll forget all about the incredibly unfortunate way we met each other.” Y/N’s smile is soft, but Jungkook sees it.

“I know you will,” She says, “I have faith in your matchmaking abilities, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Which reminds me….Did you think about what I said, Y/N?”  

Jungkook has to admit - he really likes having her around.  Try as he might at first to have seen the worst in her, he has to admit Y/N’s not half bad. 

“About the party?” 

He winks, “Bingo!” 

“It’s a bad idea.”

“Oh my god-” 

“No, because I’m such a wallflower,” She insists, shaking her head firmly, “Jimin will just think I’m boring.”

“I’ll help you come out of your shell.  I’ve told you that already.  It will be like a life lesson for you - a chance to shine in the spotlight.” 

“I don’t shine,” Y/N is whining now, “It’s stupid to even try.”

“No it’s not,” Jungkook insists, “Everybody shines.  In their  own way.  Everybody.” He feels kind of awful for her. 

How can she even think that way about herself?

“You don’t - it’s not.  C’mon Jungkook I can’t-”

“What about the night we met?”  Jungkook interrupts, as the two round the corner of Jungkook’s street, “You were partying then, weren’t you?  You were shining then?” She flushes, “That’s different.”

“How?” She shuts her eyes for a moment.  Jungkook worries he might have pushed her too far.  He slips his bottom lip between his teeth and just as he opens his mouth to apologise she sighs heavily.

“It’s stupid.”

He brushes a hand over her shoulder, “It’s not.”

Her eyes open and he’s taken aback by the softness there. 

He wants to reach out and maybe pat her cheek but he decides against it.  Fuckboy or not, Jungkook is not the kind of guy to do that.  Is he?  No.  He isn’t.

Besides.  Soomi.

“Okay.  Okay.  I’ll throw the damn party.  But you’re helping me with everything, okay?”

Jungkook feels something like electricity shoot up his ass.  (He won’t ever tell anyone else he thought that.) 

“Yes!  This is going to be perfect Y/N I swear.  Jimin will love it.  So will you,” He grins like he’s hit the jackpot, “It’s the last day of semester in three weeks time.  We’ll use that as a reason okay?  And we’ll plan everything together.  It will be amazing.” Y/N’s eyes dart across Jungkook’s face nervously. 

She seems to be looking for something - what he’s not sure - but after a moment she nods.

“Fine.  Okay.  End of semester,”  Her lips fall into a small smile, “Do you think this will work?”

They stop at the entrance of Jungkook’s building.

“It’s perfect Y/N.  I swear.  Just perfect.”

When her smile widens Jungkook thinks he’s never seen her look better.

“I’m trusting you Jungkook.”  She narrows her eyes playfully, “Don’t fuck it up.”

He crosses his index finger across his chest and nods determinedly.

“Trust me, Y/N.  We’ll have Park Jimin eating out of your hand before you know it.”

And he really believes it, too.

//

The next day Jungkook runs into Y/N at lunchtime.  He hasn’t seen her in any of his classes today and when he texts her to tell her this, she reminds him that Friday is the only day they don’t share a timetable.

He has to admit he’s kind of bummed.  

So when he finds himself wandering into the campus garden with Hoseok trailing less than enthusiastically behind him, his eyes zero in on her immediately.

She’s eating some kind of burrito - probably extra spicy as she’s told him that’s the only way to eat Mexican food - and reading a book.  Of course she’s reading a book.

Nerd.

“Hey Hobi let’s go sit over there.”  He points her out to his friend and Hoseok raises a brow.

“Who’s that?” “Y/N.”

“Y/N?”  His brow raises even higher if possible, “Y/N as in the girl you slept with who’s name you can’t remember and who’s roommate you are in love with?  And who you’ve promised to help set up with Park Jimin?  That Y/N.” Jungkook frowns, “Well when you say it like that…” He rolls his eyes, “Shut up.  Let’s just go.” Hoseok shrugs and follows his friend - what good will it do him to argue anyway? - and when Jungkook reaches his destination he clears his throat noisily.  Y/N looks up and Jungkook notices she’s wearing a pair of thick-framed glasses.  He has to admit… She looks kind of adorable in them.

The moment recognition dawns on her face, Y/N’s lips lift.

“Hi.” Jungkook’s smile widens when she grins up at him.

“Hi.”  She shifts slightly, “What are you uh - doing here?” “Stalking you obviously,” Jungkook takes a seat beside her on the blanket she’s set up to eat on, and gestures for Hoseok to do the same, “This is my friend Hoseok.  The one I said dances with your boyfriend.” She wrinkles her nose and flushes, “Jungkook!  He’s not my boyfriend.”  She turns to Hoseok and smiles softly, “Hi.” 

Hoseok - to his credit - doesn’t seem to mind the Jimin comment.  He smiles back at her.

“Hi Y/N.”

Jungkook unwraps the dismal lunch he’s made himself - a sweetcorn and tuna salad - and gestures to the book sitting in Y/N’s lap.

“What’s that?”

She looks down and then up, “Oh.  It’s uh - god.  It’s stupid.” Jungkook quirks a brow, “C’mon tell me.  What is it.” She hesitates for a second and then rolls her eyes, seemingly accepting her fate.

Jungkook almost wants to remind her that they’re friends - she shouldn’t be embarrassed in front of him - but he stays quiet. 

She lifts the book to show him the cover.

“It’s a book on gaining confidence.”  Her shoulders shrug, “I thought it might help.  Y’know…  With the whole…” Her eyes flit over to Hoseok briefly, “Jimin thing.”

Hoseok chuckles and it catches Jungkook off guard.

He’d almost forgotten his friend was there.

“That’s adorable,” Hoseok comments, “Man if a girl did that for me I’d be beyond flattered.” Y/N’s cheeks flush and she shakes her head, “No - I mean.  I don’t know.  It’s not just for him…”

“Still.” She bites her bottom lip and shrugs, “I mean I guess.  Yeah.  He should be flattered.” Hoseok laughs again and Jungkook has a sneaking suspicion his friend might be flirting.

He doesn’t like that.

Y/N is not for Hoseok.  Not at all.

“Well she’s not reading the book for you,” Jungkook tells him, trying to control his anger, “She’s reading it for Jimin.” Hoseok raises a brow.  He takes a moment and then smiles again.

“I gathered.”

Jungkook spends the rest of the lunch break trying to stop whatever weird energy Hoseok and Y/N have going on.

There is absolutely no way in hell that Jung Hoseok thinks he can just swoop in and ruin all his plans, right?  Y/N needs to fall in love with Jimin. Park Jimin needs to be the one laughing with her and smiling at her and flirting with her.

He’s absolutely livid by the time Y/N scurries off to class.

“What the fuck was that?” Hoseok pulls a face, “What?”

“That.  That… Flirting.  What was that?”  Jungkook has barely even touched his lunch (and it’s got nothing to do with the absolute miserable state of it, he swears.) 

Hoseok seems confused for only a moment later.  Then his face opens up.

“Oh, right.”  He shakes his head, “I wasn’t flirting, Jungkook.” Jungkook hates the look on his friend’s face.  Like he knows something Jungkook doesn’t.

“What’s that look for Hoseok?” Hobi chuckles and shakes his head, “Nothing Jungkook.  Absolutely nothing.” Jungkook spends the rest of the day thinking about that godforsaken look.

//

Jungkook wakes up the next morning (which thank god happens to be a Saturday,) to a text message from Y/N.  He’s been trying to convince her to use more emojis - but she refuses.

Secretly, he finds her texting kind of cute.

But he’ll never tell her that.

Y/N: Are you free today?

Jungkook: as a bird.  what did you have in mind?? :) 

Y/N: It’s my birthday.  Soomi is taking me out bowling.  Wanna come?

Jungkook feels his heart swim all the way up to his throat.

Soomi?  And wait what - it’s Y/N’s birthday? He’s sort of offended she only brought it up now.

Jungkook: uhhh… what?? happy fuckin birthday y/n!!! ur naughty!!! birthday ??? why didnt you tell me yesterday??? 

Y/N: You’re an English Lit student.  Use proper vocabulary and grammar please.  And I don’t know I didn’t think it was a big deal.

Jungkook: u cant change me boo… u just text like a granny.  its your birthday stupid ofc its a big deal.  mind if i invite some of my friends??

It’s a few minutes before Y/N finally replies. 

Y/N: Yeah.  Sure.  Meet us at Blue Pins in an hour?

Jungkook: c u there… birthday girl!!!!!

Y/N: Ugh.

Jungkook smiles at the way she still acts like she hates him even though he knows she doesn’t really.

It really is the start of a beautiful friendship.

//

An hour later Jungkook finds himself sat in a booth with Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon, nervously tapping his fingers against the surface of the table.

Hoseok clicks his tongue loudly and grabs his friend's hand from across the booth.  His eyes are narrowed a little.

“Will you calm down?” “Are you kidding?” Jungkook’s eyes are as wide as a pair of saucers, “I’m about to meet the woman I’m going to marry.”

Hoseok scoffs at that and Taehyung scrolls through his phone, bored as always.  

After a moment, Taehyung clears his throat, “He said yes.” 

Jungkook feels like his heart has just fallen out of his asshole.

“What?”

“Jimin said yes,” Taehyung rolls his eyes, almost as if he’s annoyed at this spectacular outcome, “He’ll come to Y/N’s party at the end of the semester..”

“Oh fuck YES!” Jungkook fist pumps the air in joy as Hoseok chuckles in delight.

“You’re overreacting,” Namjoon tells his friend seriously, “Jimin coming does not equal Jimin falling in love with Y/N.”

“It gets me one step closer though,” Jungkook feels lighter already, “And one step closer to that means one step closer to Soomi falling in love with me.”

Namjoon snorts out a laugh, “Stop it.”

“What?” Jungkook takes a swig from the cappuccino he insisted on ordering as soon as they arrived, “It’s true.”

“You’re not seriously thinking you’re in love with this girl Jungkook?”  Hoseok’s eyes dance with mirth, “I know you man.”

“What do you mean?”

Hoseok raises a dubious brow, “You’re the ultimate fuckboy.”

“I am not.”

“Yes.  You are.”  Taehyung tacks on helpfully, “Notoriously so, actually.”

“Shut up.” 

Jungkook doesn’t want to admit it but he knows his friends are kind of right.  Sue him - he’s young and handsome and he’s in college.  Everybody fucks around in college.

“And anyway I don’t actively pursue girls unless I have the intention of taking it somewhere.”  Jungkook crosses his arms, “A fuckboy I may be, but a dickhead I am not.”

“Says the guy who forgot Y/N’s name after a vigorous night of lovemaking.”  Namjoon grins like the cat who got the cream and Jungkook wants to smack him.

“You can thank your dear friend Kim Taehyung for that.”  Jungkook replies sharply, narrowing his eyes at his so-called childhood best friend.

Taehyung gasps like he can’t believe what Jungkook’s just said.

“Seven tequilas on an empty stomach is never a good idea Tae,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, “You kept insisting.”

Taehyung answers with a flippant wave of his hand, eyes finally moving away from his phone, “Whatever.  You’re an adult, right?  You could’ve said no.”

“Not when free alcohol is involved.” “Anyway Kookie, the point is you can’t be in love.”  Hoseok leans back like he’s just discovered the meaning to life.  Always so smug.

Jungkook can’t help but find it a little annoying.

“And how, oh wise one, are you coming to this conclusion?” Jungkook’s tone is dripping with sarcasm.  He raises a brow at his friend and gives him the most pointed look he can manage.

It’s still Hoseok and Jungkook has to admit he respects his opinion the most.

“Because you’re you.  And you barely know this girl.”  Hoseok rolls his eyes, “That’s how.”

“I find that offensive,” Jungkook retorts, “People are allowed to change and grow.  Now I’ve met Soomi I’m different.”

Namjoon shakes his head, “There’s no point, Hobi.  We all tried, believe me.  But he’s decided that he’s in love with her.  Just get on board with it.”

Jungkook sends Hoseok a toothy grin once he swallows the last of the cappuccino and nods emphatically.

He knows what his friends think of him.

That he’s slutty and careless.  That commitment scares the shit out of him.  That he’s incapable of monogamy.  A combination of all of the above.

But Jungkook knows the truth.  He didn’t want a girlfriend before this because he hadn’t met someone that made sense to him.

And what’s the point of being with someone unless you’re all in?

“Anyway when you’re guests at our wedding it’ll all make sense,” Jungkook pushes his empty coffee cup to the side, “We’re meant to be.”

Taehyung laughs at this - despite himself - and Hoseok and Namjoon chuckle too.

“Jungkook?” The sound of someone calling his name causes him to turn quickly, eyes widening when he sees who it is.  Y/N.  She’s smiling at him of course - but that’s not what causes Jungkook to almost go into cardiac arrest.

No.  Of course not.

It’s the beautiful angel standing beside Y/N that causes him to almost forget how to breathe.

“Hi,” He squeezes out despite himself, eyes riveted to Soomi’s beautiful face, “Hi.”

Soomi smiles and Jungkook is immediately breathless.

“Jungkook right?  Y/N’s… Friend.”  The suggestive tone annoys Jungkook - he can’t have Soomi thinking he belongs to anyone else but her - and he nods.

“Yeah.” “But just a friend now,” Y/N pipes up helpfully, “We… Uh… Worked through our differences.  And now we’re friends.  Just friends.  Totally platonic.” Jungkook thinks she’s kind of overkilling the whole thing but he doesn’t say anything.  Instead he smiles at Soomi and watches as her face puts two and two together.

Yes.  Yes.

Jungkook wants her - no he needs her to know that he’s single.

Really single.

Totally single and available and hers.

Namjoon clears his throat somewhere from Jungkook’s left.  He turns to his friends and nods quickly.

“Right.  Yes of course.  My friends - these are my friends.  Taehyung and Namjoon, and Y/N you’ve already met Hoseok.” The two share a small wave.  Jungkook ignores the stab of annoyance that sends to his gut.

“Hi,” Soomi smiles in a way Jungkook is sure is almost too heavenly to be real, “I’m Soomi.” God.  He really is a goner.

//

Jungkook doesn’t want to brag, but he is pretty good at bowling.

Okay.  Who’s he kidding?

He totally wants to brag.

The moment Y/N splits them up into two teams - Soomi, Jungkook and her versus Namjoon, Hoseok and Taehyung - he’s determined to win.

He has to win. 

He has to show Soomi one of his many, many, many talents. 

“You’re pretty good at this,” Soomi remarks as he throws his first strike, “Or is that just beginner’s luck?”

Jungkook shakes his head and shrugs, “I’d say I’m pretty good.”

Her giggle is music to his ears.

“That’s impressive.  What kind of girl doesn’t want a man who can throw a strike?”

Jungkook smirks, “That’s what I always say.” Her eyes crinkle at the side when she smiles and though it's not quite as adorable as Y/N’s - he’ll never admit this out loud - she still looks so sweet his heart constricts almost painfully in his chest.  He forgets for a moment where he is, laying on the charm thick.

“Is that how you seduce poor unsuspecting women then?  With your bowling skills?”

He winks in that way that usually works and his smirk widens, “You know it!” 

Soomi giggles again and Jungkook is surprised at how smoothly this all seems to be going - when the sound of somebody throwing a gutter grabs his attention.

His eyes lift - thinking it has to be the other team - and he furrows his brow when he sees Y/N standing at the very top of the bowling lane, staring at the full set of pins in front of her.

Holy shit.

Jungkook momentarily forgets about Soomi - his competitive nature kicked into overdrive - as he shoots up from his seat and rushes towards Y/N.

“Oh my god,” He’s right beside her in an instant, “Was that you?”

Y/N looks up at him - cheeks flushed - and nods, “Yeah.  I’m terrible at bowling.”

“So why would you choose to come here?  On your birthday?” 

Jungkook is somewhere between disbelief and pure horror.  But he has to admit, the look on her face is sort of funny.  She’s mortified.

“Soomi suggested it.  She said it might be fun,” She looks away for a moment, “For her maybe.”

The sound of someone scoring a strike blares to Jungkook’s left and when he sees Taehyung performing some kind of ridiculous victory dance, he decides enough is enough.

“No.  No.”  Jungkook sets his jaw, “I’m going to help you.”

Y/N’s brow lifts, “What?” “I’m going to help you.  You’re going to score a strike.” 

She snorts out a laugh.

“I don’t think you realise how truly terrible I am at this.”

“And I don’t think you realise how truly competitive I am,” He gestures to the balls, “Grab the lime green.  That’s the lightest.”

Y/N watches him for a moment longer.  She looks behind him and moves her hand in the general direction of Soomi.

“What about Soomi?” He flares his nostrils, “She’ll still be there after I finish helping you.”

Y/N stares at him, and when Jungkook cocks his head towards the row of balls lining the back of the bowling alley, she shrugs and follows his command.  

Jungkook takes this as a moment to teach Y/N how to shine.  

After all, what better way to fell good about yourself than being good at something you always thought you sucked at?

When Y/N comes back with the lime green ball, he grabs her free arm and positions her to stand with her back to his chest, wordlessly.

“Woah.”  Y/N breathes, “What are you doing?”

Jungkook’s mouth is right beside her ear, “Just follow me okay?  I’m helping you, I swear.”

He slides his hand down to the ball and grips her fingers carefully.

“Don’t hold too much tension in your wrist,” He tells her sternly, “You’re too tense.  You’re always too tense.  Relax.” Something strange passes between them.  Y/N takes a long, deep breath, and Jungkook tries to concentrate on the task at hand.

“Now slowly, slowly, bring the ball back,” Y/N follows Jungkook’s movements, “And… Release.”

He helps her flick it onto the lane, and they watch in suspense as the ball spins towards the pins.  There is almost a moment where everything is suspended in time - before the ball crashes with the pins and nine of them fall down.

Y/N squeals in happiness and turns around sharply, throwing her arm around Jungkook’s neck and pressing herself against him in a hug.

“Thank you Jungkook!” She is smiling so widely, his heart turns, “You’re the best.”

“You’re welcome.”  Jungkook finds he’s grinning too, “You deserve it.  Happy birthday Y/N.” He pushes some hair out of her face - practical purposes of course, it was getting in her eyes - and she seems to catch her breath at the gesture. They stare at each other for a moment, before someone clears their throat from behind them and they break apart.  Soomi is standing between them, holding a bubble gum pink bowling ball.

Jungkook wonders almost flippantly if she only picked it up for it’s colour.

“It’s my turn, right?” She turns her smile on Jungkook and he melts.

God.

She’s beautiful.

“Right.”  Jungkook smiles back, “Your turn.”

When he turns to move back to their booth he notices Y/N watching their interaction carefully.  Her eyes flit away the moment she’s caught, but Jungkook knows what he saw.

Strange.

Very strange indeed.

//

Later on that evening, after they’ve all shared a pizza, and Jungkook has spent the rest of the night watching Soomi with hearts in his eyes, Hoseok clears his throat with purpose.

They’re sat in their living room - Hoseok has decided to crash over because, why not? - and playing a midnight mario kart match, when Jungkook’s friend seems to have something to say.

Jungkook pauses the game.  He turns to Hoseok.

“Yes?” There is a brief moment of silence.  Taehyung is forever scrolling through his phone, and Namjoon has long ago gone to bed.  Hoseok clicks his tongue.

“Are you sure you like Soomi?”

The question completely throws Jungkook off.

He raises a questioning brow, “What?”

“I’m just - asking.  I’m just…” Hoseok turns to Taehyung for support.  When his friend doesn’t notice, he smacks him across the shoulder, “Tae.”

“What?”

Jungkook narrows his eyes, “Have you guys talked about this?” Taehyung seems to realise where the conversation has just come from.  He actually locks his phone and sets it to one side.

“Yeah.”  Taehyung answers honestly, “We have.” “I’ve told you guys a million times.  I know I barely know her but -” “That’s not it.”  Hoseok licks his bottom lip, “I mean it’s crazy you think you fell in love at first sight but… Stranger things have happened.” Jungkook scoffs, “So?  Why have you asked then?” Another beat.

Taehyung sighed heavily, “Because we think you like Y/N.”

“What the fuck?” Jungkook snorts out a laugh because really - what else can he do?, “Why the fuck would you think that?” His friends share another look and Jungkook hates that.

He hates that they think they know him better than he knows himself.

Hoseok shakes his head, “Just a feeling.” “A feeling that’s wrong.”  Jungkook states firmly, “Dead wrong.” Taehyung nods and picks up his phone, “Fine.  Alright.  We’re wrong then.” Hoseok seems like he wants to say more but he doesn’t opting instead for something that sounds sort of like a grunt.

Jungkook watches his friends for a moment longer.

“Yeah.  So wrong.”

//

That night, when Jungkook’s just about to go to bed he receives a text message.  He opens his phone, expecting Y/N and finding, instead, an unrecognised number staring back at him.

Soomi: hiiiii jungkook :) it's soomi… y/n gave me ur number. hope u dont mind.

Jungkook pushes his friends’s ridiculous theory to the back of his head, and focuses instead on the fact that Soomi has just texted him.  His thumbs move to answer her but he pauses, moving instead to open Y/N’s chat history.

Jungkook: hey. happy bday again champ. u da bomb!! also thanks for giving soomi my number. u a real one for that, chief!!! :) :) :)

Y/N’s reply comes only a few minutes later.

Y/N: Thank you Jungkook.  I appreciate it.  And no worries… She seemed to really be into you after tonight.  So well done, yeah? :) 

Jungkook smiles at the emoji that he imagines Y/N forced herself to add, and almost misses the part when she says Soomi was into him.

Right.  Yeah.  Perfect.

He opens up Soomi’s chat and starts to write out a reply.

This is exactly what he wanted.

//

TAGLIST:  @cuddleboo @veronawrites @minluvly @severetimetravelnerd @moonchild1 @bunnyjeonjk @multicolourunicorn  @somewhereinthestarss  @jwlmnbt  @jojo-suga @zera10 @ggukkieland @thesugatoyourtae @dxlbts​ @wxndi

[teacup-crow]

Maybe, Maybe, Maybe

Fun bit of survivors’ guilt for @badthingshappenbingo, based pretty heavily off Don’t Poke the Bear and Variations on a Theme. Post-finale.

They take it in turns to keep watch for when he wakes up: Doug, Reneé, Isabel, first names still such a novelty. Just his luck, he opens his eyes to the impassive face of Captain Lovelace.

“Hi, dickbag. Sore head?”

“Unnnnhh…” he whines as if he’s lying under a ton of rocks rather than a cosy quilt on Renee’s living room floor. His face is a patchwork of bruising. “Aspirin?”

She takes pity, and passes him two and a glass of water. The sitting up takes longer than he thought it would.

“You look terrible. Lucky for you, Renee makes a mean chilli con carne. Never would have guessed she could cook.”

“No thanks, I should, should be going-”

“You need food in your system, that’s non-negotiable. First thing’s first, though, you’re having a shower, and you either go willingly or get dragged bodily, because you goddamn stink. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir,” he mumbles automatically, and he remembers the Colonel - Warren? Was it on a day he could call him Warren? - once saying something similar and his head pounds. ((“mr jacobi, of all the irresponsible, stupid shit i have seen from you this really takes the-“))

“Bathroom’s on the second floor, just past the master bedroom. Dominick put a pile of clean clothes in there before he left for work. And it’s Isabel, okay? Not sir. Not Captain. Never again.”

***

“Who did this to you?”

He grips his mug of sweet tea like it’s thousand dollar whiskey. He’s still ashen. “I did this to me.”

“You beat the shit out of yourself? Okay, yeah. Don’t buy that one.” Isabel repeats the question. “Who did this to you?”

“Just some guys I pissed off. I don’t know how many. I don’t know who. Happy now?”

The room goes silent. Isabel continues:

“And did you go provoking them deliberately?”

Not for the first time, Renee wonders whether they should have included Doug in this little intervention. He’s been through so much just like the rest of them, but he doesn’t know it, and he’s clearly freaking out at the situation.

“Why would he want something like that to happen? He looks terrible!”

“I don’t know, Doug,” Isabel says levelly. “Care to answer, Jacobi?”

He’s not on a first name basis, apparently.

“Not… I didn’t... no. No, no, no. I was too drunk and… picking fights, but suddenly there were too many of them, okay? But I got out. And if I want to drink then that’s my own problem, so thank you for the hospitality but-“

Renee cuts in there. “When you drink yourself into a stupor, get attacked by a gang in a back alley, and stumble into my doorway at 0300 hours after six months of radio silence, it becomes our problem.” Her look of pity makes his stomach churn even more than the chilli did. He breathes in, hold, out; in, hold, out; in-((alana’s breathing technique and why why why is she everywhere in everything why does he have to see her out of the corner of his eye when it’s been so long he can’t properly remember her face-))

“Fine. What do you want from me?”

“You are a good man and you saved every single one of our lives and we need to understand why you’re so intent on throwing yours away.”

Jacobi starts laughing then, guttural laughs that worsen the ache in his head and bones but he can’t seem to stop them. “...me? I’m a good man? Oh my God, Lieutenant, that’s hilarious. Give us another.”

“You need to take this seriously! This is a form of self harm! You could have died!” Isabel is pacing up and down. She and Renee do good cop, bad cop like it’s a professional sport.

“Boo fucking hoo. And the world would forever be worse off for my passing.”

Isabel stops, and turns back towards him with some heat in her gaze. “I have lost too many crew members who deserved to die far less than you do. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? Do you need me to reconfirm that you are a an asshole? Do you need to hear about how Fisher, and Hui, and Fourier, and Lambert were all far better people than you will ever, ever be? Or will you accept that you are good in there? That deep down you’re on the right-“

“We burned their letters.” He’s staring at the duvet he’s wrapped in, running his finger over the flowers on the pattern. “Okay? Still think I’m a good person?”

“...wait. What?” She laughs a little, in shock perhaps. “But you told me…”

“I told you what I needed to tell you to make you trust me. We burned your crew’s letters. Lambert’s… I remember those especially. His hands were shaking really hard when he wrote them, weren’t they.”

It’s not a question.

Isabel stops pacing, and Jacobi grins again but it doesn’t reach his bruised eyes when he looks up at her. “More than mine, even. You could tell he was sick. They didn’t make any sense. We laughed at them. The irony of a Communications Officer who can’t communicate. Are you listening to me? We read their letters and we burned them and we laughed about it-“

Renee loses her softness. “Jacobi, that is enough!”

Isabel has a hand on her chest as if something has hit her there. She counts to ten in her head, ((fisher’s technique to try and stop her fighting with sam, never worked but still stuck in her head, or this copy of her head, or whoever she is now-)) and leaves the room.

They hear her slamming drawers in the kitchen.

Doug glances at Jacobi and shakes his head, before hurrying after her.

“How could you,” Reneé says. “How could you.”

“I don’t know. Will you let me go and ruin my own life now?”

“Never,” she replies. “Because, God help me, you’re still a member of my crew.”

At that, his eyes prick with tears he can’t explain. He rolls over on the air bed, and closes them.

***

“Lovelace?” Jacobi finally makes himself walk into the kitchen, grimacing like each step is on hot sand. The words are monotone. “I’m so sorry. What I did and said is... inexcusable.”

“Nope. That’s too large a word for your vocabulary. Come back to me with an apology Renée didn’t script,” Isabel snaps, going back to scribbling in a sketchbook.

“Look, I’m not much good at this-“

“You’re telling me.”

“I’m… really used to people yelling at me and hitting me until they feel better. Or you can shoot me if you like!”

“Jesus. Well, I am not about to do that to ease your guilt. You look like you’d snap if one more person poked you. So apologise properly.”

“I’m sorry…”

“For?” Isabel prompts over the top of her book.

“I’m sorry for burning your crew’s letters.”

“You did what you were ordered to do. It is what it is. I’m not condoning it.”

There’s a moment of silence, and Jacobi realises she’s waiting for him to continue. “And… I’m sorry for bringing it up. That was… needlessly cruel. It sucked.”

“It really did,” she replies, putting the book down. “Tell you what: that sounded somewhat genuine, and Goddard brought out the shit in all of us. You look so pathetic, I’m going to forgive you. Not because you deserve it, but because I don’t bear grudges. Not anymore.”

She holds out a hand, and he shakes it. “Thank you.”

“Wow. That actually hurt for you to say.”

Jacobi nods. He sits down across from her at Renée’s huge darkwood table, and thinks about how she and Dominick must have bought this when they moved in together with plans to have people over for dinner every other night. Maybe even plans to have kids.

He wonders if Dominick ate at it alone while his wife was gone.

“So, you gone on that holiday yet?”

“No, actually. I’ve legally been dead for about seven years, so getting a passport is proving pretty tricky.”

“I can imagine.”

“Where have you been, anyway? We tried to get into contact with you. We drove down to your old apartment - got your address from the Goddard database - but it was cleaned out.”

Jacobi looks sheepish. “Yeah, well, I’d mostly been staying at Alana’s for the last few years or overnight at… yeah… so I’d not been a very good tenant and turns out they took ‘lost in space’ as the perfect opportunity to kick me out. So I’ve been sofa to sofa, on the streets a bit-”

“For heaven’s sake, Jacobi. We would have helped you, you stupid asshole! All you had to do was ask and you could have stayed here! Renee and Dominick would probably even let you have a cheese collection or whatever the fuck it was.”

“Guess the amount of drinks it takes for me to lose my pride is somewhere over eighteen?”

“How do you have a functioning liver?”

They sit in an almost comfortable silence for a few minutes, Isabel reopening her sketchbook.

“I never knew you drew.”

“You never knew me outside of a life-threatening situation.” Isabel sighs, twists the pencil between her fingers. “I don’t think I did. Before. The old ‘me’, I mean. But I was bored and I can’t get a job because of the ‘being dead’ issue, so I thought I should take up a hobby or something. Might be therapeutic. I’m not very good at it…”

“Can I see?”

“I, uh,” Isabel suddenly looks uncertain. “I drew her. Maxwell. I drew everyone, actually. Are you sure you want to look?”

“Yes.”

He leafs through the pages, at first simple doodles before branching into full portraits. Eiffel, upside down and smoking a cigarette. Hilbert, looking troubled at a shadow behind him he can’t quite see. Two ghostlike figures in lab coats staring out at the star, the man with a prophetic terror etched on his face - must be Isabel’s old crewmates. Mr Cutter smiles up at him with far too many sharp teeth in sharper lines where the pencil was pressed far too hard and he turns the page quickly. There’s Kepler, mid-whiskey speech and it almost stops his heart. He pauses. Maxwell.

In the picture, her eyes are shining as she stares at Hera’s console, fingers nothing more than a blur - the three-day stint she spent trying to get the AI online. Aside from the orange and blue of Wolf 359, elsewhere in the book Isabel has barely used colour, but here the room is bathed in a serene green light from the screens. Behind Maxwell, Jacobi sees himself, little more than a stocky, sketchy outline, waiting for her to finish.

He looks so proud of her.

He looks so… content.

After staring for a long moment, Jacobi closes the book and hands it back. “Thank you.”

“You can keep the pictures of them, if you like,” Isabel offers, but he doesn’t know whether he would like, so he says:

“Tell me about your crew.”

“What?”

“Your old crew. Tell me about them. Was Lambert the one staring at...?”

“No. No. No, that was Kuan Hui, our senior astrophysicist. He was whipsmart and funny and fearless, until the time Goddard Futuristics played around in his brain, stretched out his perception of time. He was completely alone in the dark for two weeks. His smile never really reached his eyes after that.”

Jacobi sips tea awkwardly, even though it’s cold.

“Something like that, it stays with you. At least he had Fourier, though.”

“That’s the woman behind him?”

“Junior physicist. Victoire Fourier had eyes like stars. Cleverest person I’ve ever met. She played six instruments, spoke four languages and she had the most gentle soul. She used to read to Hui when he got sick with Decima. Coughed up every organ in his body. I thought it would break her, but she was made of stern stuff. She vanished off the space station in the final days and I still don’t know what exactly happened to her-”

“I… do. If you want to know, I mean.”

Isabel shakes her head. Then pauses. Then shakes her head again. “I get the feeling whoever is to blame is long gone.”

Jacobi shrugs. “Who else?”

“Well, there was Mace Fisher. Fisher… Fisher died because of me, not Goddard Futuristics. Asteroid shower tore him from my hands. He had a boyfriend waiting at home. He was sensitive, sensible, grounding. A real older brother type. I- I didn’t deal particularly well with his death. Well, you know that much.”

((Pill popper!)) Jacobi gulps more cold tea.

“And Lambert?”

“Sam Lambert. Officer Samuel Lambert had a stick up his ass. He was whiny, and authoritarian, and he treasured his copy of Pryce and Carter more than Reneé and Kepler combined did. He drove me nearly insane, and I drove him likewise. The best second in command you could ask for. A damn good man. Sam got sick after Hui, so we knew what was coming. What it meant. He was brave, though. At first.”

((“C-Captain, please shoot me, please, it hurts, it hurts, Captain, please, I just want it to-”)

She falters.

“Lovelace?”

“Yup?”

“You know, it’s not even really about the Hephaestus. I keep… it’s insane, but I keep thinking about… I was an explosives guy for the Air Force. Before Goddard. A trigger failed and two men died. Andrews and Sullivan. I haven’t thought about them in years and suddenly-“

“They’re everywhere?”

There’s a sudden understanding between them.

“They’re everywhere. Them and Maxwell and Kepler. They’re in mirrors, in the back of my brain, around corners.”

“Flashes of them.”

“And if you just reach out far enough, maybe-“

“Maybe-“

“Maybe.”

((let’s go be monsters)), Jacobi’s brain echoes. He grits his teeth.

“Did it stop for you? When does it stop?” He finds himself asking. Isabel doesn’t answer.

[jaepies]

𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙣 - haikyuu!!

oikawa x fem!reader

mafia au

chapter 1 : probably shouldn’t have seen that

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

it was a monday morning. Possibly one of the worst days of the week in your humble opinion. it was not the fact that it was the first day of a very long school week that was bringing your mood down. not to say that it did not help contribute to your agitated state.

you were angry that it had already been a few weeks and you were no closer to getting your revenge on the brown-haired man who you had recently learnt that his name was oikawa.

no thanks to the swarm of fan-girls that constantly followed his every step, worshipping the ground he walked on and fainting at the mere sight of him.

frankly, it annoyed you. you did not understand what made him so attractive or likeable. after all, all he did was make you feel terrible and then walk all over you like some filth-ridden pavement. 

unbeknown to you, the anger that you were feeling had etched itself onto your face. this was made evident by the obvious stares of your classmate, it was only the second week back at school and you felt like you have had enough attention to last the rest of your high school experience.

it's all because of that poop head.

the quicker you could get your revenge, the quicker he could leave your thoughts and as a consequence, your head would hurt less.

you have been doing too much thinking these past few days,

exhaling a deep sigh, you lay your head in the palm of your hands and the attention of the classmates returning to the teacher. you finally felt at peace until there was a sensation of something hitting your back.

turning around, there were no obvious signs as to who could have thrown this at you however, your curiosity was soon cured as you immediately got your answer.

"don't even try and be first in the dining hall. we both know that we'll get lunch first no matter what, that's just how the school works boo.

you should also get rid of that frown on your face, it's not a good look. apparently, they make you age faster and i don't think you want to look like a grandma more than you already do.

- the man who still waiting for an apology for injuring him, oikawa ;)"

did i forget to mention that pooikawa was in your class?

you had to suffer every single lesson and period with his infuriating presence clouding your vision for hours.

grabbing the nearest pen out of your pencil case, you quickly scribbled a reply on a fresh piece of paper out of your notebook. it was not neat but hey this was a reply fuelled by anger and hatred, who said it had to be pristine?

when the teacher was not looking, you took action. as you took into account all the possible variables that would occur when thrown, you aimed the scrunched up ball slightly to the right. you stuck your tongue out as you tried to figure out the projectile. the exact angle and height to the throw of the ball had to be perfect before launching the grenade.

satisfyingly, you watched it hit the temple of the great man himself before facing the front not wanting to get caught but you cheered silently on the inside.

"mission success, the target was successfully destroyed!"

seems like a dramatic way to think but it was just your nature.

whilst beaming as you reflected on your recent achievements, a wooden stick thumped your head.  as a reflex, you pulled up your hands, gingerly, to rub your head and to help soothe the pain you were feeling. the teacher stood there, looking at you; seething with rage. he seemed to hold a familiar scrunched ball in his clenched fist. you wanted to die right there as it dawned on you that it was your note to oikawa.

"(y/n) (l/n), you know passing notes is unacceptable in class especially with language as vulgar as this."

you internally cringed as you remembered using some not so colourful language in the heat of the moment when writing your response.

"sir, I am so sorry. it will not happen again. i sincerely apologise."

"i hope you stay true to that as this better not happen again."

there was a pause and you thought this was the end of the scolding with no punishment in sight. 

"meet me in the teachers' office after school."

groaning as you realised you allowed yourself to celebrate too early, you caught oikawa smirking his always stupid smirk. however, this time it seemed very much direct at you and as you were already annoyed; you tried sending him your worse glare even though you did not have the energy to do so.

lunchtime eventually rolled around and you were still dismal from class. hikari and your other friends noticed your difference in mood but were not sure as to whether they should mention anything because they did not want to aggravate you even further.

until hikari did the unthinkable and actually talked to you.

"y/n why are you so pissy today and stop picking at your food. either eat it or dump it because i'm not letting you ruin my appetite."

everyone else looked at hikari with worry evident in their eyes; you were unpredictable when feeling miserable.

"hikari~,"

you were blubbering like a child and holding onto hikari's arm like it would save your life.

"i have to meet the teacher after school because i passed a note in class."

at this point, there were most definitely tears brimming and threatening to spill.

"oh y/n, that's not so bad. everyone has sent a note in class before, you are not the first and you are not the last."

"you don't get it. i swore in that note and now i am going to get detention when i go to the teachers' office and then my school record will be ruined and then that's all universities will see when they look at my application and then no one will want me and then i'll rot in a hole because i wasn't able to go to university and get employed and make money,"

you paused for a breath,

"AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THE DICKHEAD, OIKAWA."

your rant seemed to have come to an end and your friends looked at you like you were an alien who had grown two million heads. nonetheless, you could not blame them because you definitely sounded crazy.

hikari patted you awkwardly, trying to comfort you. She knew that what you needed was time to calm down and rationalise the fact that your life was not over just because you may potentially get detention. you had been a straight-A student for your whole life with a clean record and she knew as much as you would have liked to keep it that way, a single detention was not going to ruin your chances of going to a prestigious university.

dabbing your eyes which prevented any tears to fall, you sat upright and pieced your dignity and pride back together like humpty dumpty.

"you are right hikari, my life isn't over but there is something I need to do."

"no, wait. y/n don't go do anything stupid."

knowing that you were probably going to see oikawa, she let you be. Whatever floated your boat. exhausted, she turned back to her lunch and resumed eating.

meanwhile, you were storming down the corridors. everyone was moving out of your way out of fear of being trampled on.

you knew exactly where the he-devil would be. it was the same place every lunchtime, every day at the same hour.

the school gym.

surprisingly, there were not any students loitering around the area. you noticed that even the birds were not tweeting as they did around the rest of the school. you thought just shrugged it off though by concluding that the students were probably too scared to disturb the volleyball team's practice.

casting a glance at the metal doors and not thinking twice, you pushed the heavy bar handle to open it. with every ounce of your strength, the door flung open. allowing you to see the whole gym.

then there was a loud silence.

looks of horror fell upon the whole volleyball team's faces as they froze in their positions from the sight of you. no one had ever dared to burst in as you had done so they never locked the door but that didn't mean that they wanted others to see what they did in the gym.

your jaw was slack from the sight before you.

there was the volleyball team, the high school volleyball team, holding real-life guns and dangerous-looking knives were laid out on display on the cold, hard ground. punching bags were dotted around the gym which was being utilised by the various members before your sudden entrance. instead of wearing the school's distinct tracksuits, the volleyball team were sporting leather jackets and ripped jeans like they were in some gang.

unable to gather your thoughts, you continued to gape into the room until your eyes landed on the familiar face of oikawa. his face was dark from being caught off guard like this.

stuttering and shaking, you pointed at him.

"t-this is not what a volleyball team looks like. what kind of volleyball team is this?"

that was all you could barely get out as a high pitched squeal. you were flabbergasted and confused. they were holding actual guns, that was illegal, right?

not wanting to see anymore, you decided to pelt off at full speed. not realising that someone else was following you, wondering what your next move was.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

35. Part 2

I kind of figured Chris hasn’t left as of yet, he drags his feet with a lot of things “Dennis, go with him. Document everything, these recordings stop once we go to California. Chris he documents everything, I am not having that bitch cry we stole her son, you keep those messages, you get every ounce of evidence that she ditched her son on us. She is not being civil, and honestly. You’re going to be late either way, do you even know this friend?” Dennis rushed by me, I guess to gather his stuff “I don’t know, I know the gate number and stuff. I will save it all, but I could literally just take him back Robyn. Then you don’t have to deal with it, we need to go Cali?” shaking my head “just bring him here, we will deal with it after that. You are taking him back for you to argue with her in front of him, you’re sending your son crazy. Think on how you felt and knew things that went on, just bring him here and then we deal with it” hearing Fenty cry in the living room “but then you are stressed out?” I laughed, when am I not “and we deal with it” that is all we can do “bring him back here Chris, I think we need to create a normal environment, try and not speak on the negative, speak on positives. He is coming to see his dad, ok?” my mom and her supportive words “ok then” I need to go and see to Fenty, she is crying her eyes out now “Chris, you go now as soon as Dennis comes down. Don’t leave him waiting” rushing off to see to my daughter “I was coming to you, I think she wants the nipple in her mouth” Mel said, side eying her “Robyn getting her nipples out again? She was born for this” taking Fenty from Mel, shushing Fenty as I took her from Mel “shut up Jah” placing Fenty over my shoulder “did I lie? I am shocked how big your boobs have become or is it fat?” walking by Jah but kicking him as I did “ouch!” he spat “you deserve that, you just never shut up” sitting down on the couch, Fenty is ready for milk and sleep now.

Jen laughed at Fenty’ face “she is in a milk coma, that milk got some crack in it” looking at Fenty’ grumpy face, she is not amused that I am rubbing her back but she needs to let that burp out “I think it’s weed, I miss it so much. Must be weed, look how calm she becomes, she like her momma. Need the weed but I can’t wait to just drink and get high, it’s boring being good. Eating healthy too, chile. I want that greasy food” rolling my eyes “Robyn, your trainer” letting out an oh, why did Tina let him in “ohh he’s here” Jah likes him, he is a handsome British man, I must admit “good morning” he said, his accent just hits “morning, I was supposed to cancel today. Sit down” I gestured, Chris didn’t want him but I persuaded him because even though he is handsome he is really good at what he does “cancel me? Rihanna, I see the difference in your body if we continue” I wish Chris had that accent at times “just Rihanna boo? What about her sketch book husband? You not into a mans body?” Jah said, he is a whore “he is doing great too but Rihanna, she is” he laughed “I’m just amazing, I know” I finished off for him “but I can’t today, Chris and I can’t something really came up and we need to deal with it but I am sorry” I apologised “it’s ok, I have bought over some of the prep meals for you both anyways so it’s not a wasted journey but please keep up with what we are doing, but I personally think you look great like this” I laughed out “you do but so do I boo” resting Fenty back down “well I guess I will get going, nice seeing you all this morning” Jah breathed out “how can you not think he is a god” his thirsty ass.

I would check on Chris, but I need him to use his own brain with things, he is a grown adult, and he knows what is right and wrong, he honestly needs to learn a lot “what are you thinking?” Mel asked me “this could really work in Chris’ favour to get full custody” I admitted what is the truth “but I don’t think Chris will push for it, but I am not a bad person. I don’t believe in what she is doing, she is punishing Chris but is actually punishing her son. She is an actual idiot, she has her biggest blessing right there in front of her, she doesn’t even see it. But I think I jinxed myself” I laughed “we laughed it off too, a man with kids was never the best but you love him, so you learn to love. You must be nervous” blowing out air all wide eyed “I am just thinking what the fuck do I do; I know what it is like to have half siblings and seeing the other woman. You know, just knowing that feeling I know that child will feel a type of way. Chris is just as stupid; I think he just doesn’t think. His action is throw him back when he is suffering. He is four, of course he understands. We can only work it out once he arrives and then we take it from there” I am nervous about this.

So much is going through my mind right now, I am angry for the most part, but she really just did this to me. Like she couldn’t have just waited and let us come to an agreement. She just didn’t like that Robyn cut her off the way she did, the way Robyn has taken over which I don’t mind. She does not like no for an answer and the no was the money part, she threw my son to me. The thing is, I just feel like Robyn is going to end up telling me she can’t take this anymore. Always my shit coming to the door, I feel like I did when my mom made me go to New Jersey alone, shit hurt me, but I was much older than him “Chris!” Dennis shouted me, looking up seeing the green light. I am shocked nobody honked at me “yeah” I said as I drove off slowly, tears are actually pricking my eyes, this doesn’t feel nice, I am hurting for him, I am hurting because I know how it feels. At the time I was so happy to go, get out of VA but when I look back at it, it was because she couldn’t handle me, she wanted me out. Not even my dad stopped it and look at that. I was so fucked up “are you ok?” Dennis asked me “uh, I guess” I smiled, smile through it but like my son is literally going through what I went through and it’s hurting me way more then I thought, the reason I said I would take him back because I don’t want to drag Robyn into this, I don’t want to ruin my marriage to Robyn, she means too much to me, it’s hitting me that I do care, this whole thing shouldn’t have happened, it really shouldn’t have and my only son didn’t deserve.

Robyn ain’t lying, London Traffic got me fucked up and I am already feeling highly angry about everything. Shit is just sinking in “are you ok to like answer some things for the camera or not?” Dennis asked “we are in traffic” nodding my head “sorry if I am quiet just in deep thought” I really don’t want my son to end up like me, I don’t want that and now I am scared to think that he will end up like that “where we going?” Dennis asked, looking over at Dennis. Clearing my throat “stuck in London traffic right now, trying to get to the airport to pick up my son. I for one didn’t ask for this to happen but like I want people to understand that it’s not always just me, the mother of my child decided that she can’t afford to keep my son but the real deal is that she is doing it to upset me, she has put my son on a flight here claiming she can’t afford him but I just checked and she is on a flight to California, so you telling me you can’t afford it? I am trying to take her to court and stuff, just things like this take me back to a lot and it’s like a repeat of my life, I got one son, and this is what is happening. I am just emotional right now” seeing traffic moving slowly, I slowly drove off “nobody really cares about me, like they going to see this, and they will still point that I am bad, I did this. I am trying my best and I can’t contact the baby mother or the friend that has my son, I don’t even know this lady. I am like twenty minutes late; I just hope he is there waiting for me. I think with the traffic here, we gonna end up being even later” rubbing my head.

“Wait up for me” Dennis said as I jogged into Heathrow, busy as ever and I am being stared at “departure gate yeah?” I looked to Dennis “should be yes” Terminal three, terminal fucking three like I fucking know “hey, hi. You work here, I really need to get to Terminal three. Flight came in from Germany. It was an hour ago?” I asked the worker, she looked at me all wide eyed “yes, but you have come the wrong way in, you need to leave the airport. This is long haul. Leave the doors, turn left, follow the path right to the end. Enter the doors go straight down and then on the right. That is where the short haul flights come, you will be there” I breathed out as I turned around, seeing the cameras in my face, Dennis slowly put his camera down. I mean I am not shocked, but here we are “not right now, thank you” walking off, walking around the people but of course I mean they will follow me “go, go!” Dennis pushed behind me as I started to run off, I mean I don’t want to be flooded with fans chasing me “stop laughing” I shouted, Dennis is laughing behind me but it’s a crazy ass situation to be in.

I breathed out seeing this woman, I don’t know her, and my son sat next to her. I can notice that ashy blonde hair from here, this has really scared me. I don’t even know this person, she could have took him. Slowly walking over to them, walking around the seating area. It is ever so quiet here, they have been waiting a while. He has his head down staring at his legs as he kicked them in the air, just waiting patiently “I am so sorry” I apologised, Aeko looked up “hey little man, I am here” his face lit up as he got off the seating area and made his way to me with his backpack on “dad” picking him up as he held me “yes, I am here now” holding him close “sorry I took so long” his little arms wrapped around my neck, I feel choked up “are you ok?” I am just glad he is ok, like nothing happened to him “I sit on plane, look” he pointed at the window “yeah, big planes” placing Aeko down on the ground “you’re here now” the lady said “I am here yes, where my son stuff?” the lady doesn’t want to be on the camera clearly she is hiding away from it “she just gave me the backpack, I fed him” my face softened “huh? What do you mean? No clothes, no nothing!? Like you being deadass!? Nothing?” I said in anger “dad I got blankie” Aeko said “you are joking, who the fuck are you!?” I shouted, Dennis held my arm “let’s just go, come we got him now” I swear I am fucking angry; I am going to kill that bitch, she is fucking dead to me.

I am so angry, like I am shaking the fuck angry. Dragging the back door open “he needs a car seat” Dennis said behind me “of course he does, Dennis sit in the back with him. Aeko get in the car” what else can I do, there is no car seat, I can’t just click my fingers “I need you to be good now, you need to sit still and listen to Dennis, or I will be trouble for not having you a car seat” watching Aeko climb all on my backseat “help me” he said, leaning down and into the car “here” helping him take off his backpack “sit down now” moving back, unzipping his backpack to see what is inside this shit “I want my blankie” pulling out the blankie, there is a water bottle and his tablet and that is it “fucking great” I am so angry “just strap him in” Dennis took the backpack from me “we have eyes” leaning inside the car “I do it” so he says “go on then” he can barely do it so I clicked him in “there we go” placing the belt that goes across his chest behind him “you too small for that right now, just hold tight” moving back and closing the car door “I am pissed, like I am just ready to go off. Thank god I don’t have social media, I am angry. He has nothing” Dennis sighed out “that is a pretty messed up, I think we should maybe go back first” Dennis is right.

We stopped over at a gas station because Aeko needed to pee, I didn’t want him to pee himself when he has just these clothes “you like my car?” watching him look around himself as he sat on the hood of my car “here” looking behind me “thanks” taking the bottle of water from Dennis “I got you this” Dennis held out a packet of gummy bears to him, made me smile because I got my gummy bear at home “what you say Aeko?” he is just staring at Dennis, not even a movement to take the candy, he just put his head down “it’s just Dennis, he’s nice. Look” taking the candy from Dennis “here it’s yours, say thank you to Dennis too” placing it on Aeko’ lap “I want mommy” he mumbled “you don’t want to be with me?” I asked, he is grown, he knows “mommy say you have to be here with me, I promise I will make it fun” Aeko looked up at me “why?” a question I wish I could tell the truth about “to spend time with you, we going to have fun. Promise” he doesn’t seem amused “did mommy say anything? Do you remember anything she said to you?” I would like to know “I cry on plane, mommy cry too. She doesn’t like me” furrowing my eyebrows “she does, you will see her soon” I swear I want to cuss the bitch out so much.

Opening the car door “you already unbuckled yourself out huh, naughty. Get your blankie” stepping back so he can get out of the car, I want to kick off but I can’t with Aeko just watching me, he’s not stupid and he knows about emotions and shit “welcome to your new home” closing the car door “my bag!” he jumped grabbing the backpack “you can put it on” he really cares about this bag, helping him with the backpack. Aeko is dragging his feet quietly “he is ever so quiet” Dennis said “yeah, well he about to be shocked. Jah is loud as shit on his own” grabbing his arm as I walked towards the home, Aeko be walking too slow “you think he knows who Rihanna is?” good question actually “I guess we will find out, I am not sure at all” it sounds bad but I am unsure if his habits altogether but I do know he is quiet as hell so we shall see, I hope he is ok mentally anyways. Walking into the home “doggy!” Aeko yelped out “yeah, you know Zeus. He is here” letting Aeko’ arm go, Zeus knew Aeko and went over to him as as my son petted him with a smile “he remembers you, see. You missed him” I said smiling, it’s nice to see my son smiling “good boy doggy!” he sounds so sweet “hey” looking away from Aeko and seeing Robyn “I am angry, that dumb broad gave him nothing, he has nothing!” I spat “you’re kidding right?” shaking my head stepping to the side “nothing!” I spat; Robyn looked at Aeko. My son shyed away from Zeus and moved to be next to me instead “shall we go in the second living room, just us” nodding my head, picking Aeko up before he starts dragging his feet again.

[choccos-aaart]

Antag interview!

>>BASE<<

Feat. the five major antagonists of the story of April and friends: Mr Skatra, Dr Sarlife Aufel, Wyra, Eyn, and Farqua

*NOTE: Definitely got spoilers for the story I’m writing, if you’re interested :P*

**NOTE: I better’ve not written anything wrong here...**

Greetings, and welcome to the "Villians Interview Meme". Whether you like it or not, you've been brought here to answer some questions about yourself. This is a recording, pausing and starting controlled by your author, so you cannot attack me.  If you begin to fight with one another, you WILL be sedated/strait-jacketed. Alright now, let's start.

Would you show the viewers a shred of kindness by allowing us to know your name(s)?

Skatra: Oh…? I’m first? Alright, then… Hello, my name is Abarran. ...Known by most as Mr Skatra.

Doc: Evening! I’m Sarlife. Others call me Doc. And, I am not sharing my surname. Who’s next?

Wyra: It’s me. Hi, hello, my name’s Wyra. I’m Sarlife’s action partner. I keep a look out for her, too.

Eyn: I’m Eyn, and I’m Abarran’s kid.

Farqua: Suppose they left the best for last, huh! Hi! The name’s Farqua Pells!

Are you male or female?

Skatra: I’m male.

Doc: I don’t conform. Next,

Wyra: I am female!

Eyn: Usually people get me all wrong, but I’m a girl. Don’t blame ‘em though…

Farqua: And I’m a man, haha!

 How old are you in human years?

Skatra: Forty-nine. Almost fifty... *sigh*

Doc: I’ve existed for 77 years, but my AI depicts me as, I dunno, somewhere in my 30s? 40s? Either way, I’m a working adult.

Farqua: So ya let us know your age but y’ain’t givin’ off your last name? For real?

Doc: It’s embarrassing. Wyra, it’s your turn.

Wyra: My AI depicts me as about the same as Doc! But I could be younger. I was built in year X701 which was about 65 years ago.

Eyn: I’m 16. Well, at least I’m programmed to be 16. I was actually built six years ago. What about you, Farqua? Gonna bet you’re like programmed to be 10, haha.

Farqua: Shut up. Uhh, I’m in my 30s... In my programmin’, of course. Almost reachin’ my 50 years milestone in real time, though!

 What exactly are you?

Skatra: Excuse me… what? If you’re asking whether I’m human or not, I’m human. 

Doc; Yeah, a pathetic one.

Skatra: Would you shut up?! …By the way, the rest of them are androids.

Doc: You really had to answer for us, didn’t you?

Skatra: It saves time.

 Do you have any powers?

Skatra: No… Doctor?

Doc: Well, a lot of medical tools can be transformed out of my arm. And I’ve built myself a little machine that can automatically mix different medicines and whatnot.

Wyra: Well, I’ve learned to use my power source abilities for things that aren’t just powering things. Something I can do is produce power from both my star-panels and my natural gas source, which I think is cool. 

Eyn: Alright. Uh… My arm’s literally a toolbox. No, literally, it can like, shoot a bunch of tools out of it. Well, those tools really are just these cool things that unfold from these tiny boxes. Weird science stuff I don’t wanna explain. Also, my arm used to be for weapons n’ stuff. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I was originally built to commit some revenge robbery or something, so I’m packed with a whole bunch of stealth n’ robbery stuff like, y’know. Too lazy to list it all down, though…

Farqua: Damnit Eyn, now you’re makin’ me feel pathetic!

Eyn: Well, boo-hoo.

Farqua: So, uhh… ‘s just my arm can transform into just a whole buncha garden n’ landscapin’ tools. That’s it, really.

Skatra: If it makes you happy, that’s every slasher film writer’s dream.

Farqua: Well, ain’t that nice!

 Who is your archrival, and what do you hate about them? Do they have powers?

Skatra: It’s you, Doctor, Wyra, and all your affiliates!

Wyra: Yeah, whatever.

Doc: Ah yes, I greatly apologise for ruining your life to KEEP THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT SAFE!

Farqua: Well Doc, y’ain’t gonna deny that almost everyone hates your way of doin’ it, are ya? And April fights for ‘em, too. 

Doc: YOU DON’T NEED TO BE INVOLVED, FARQUA!

Farqua: Shiieeeet… Calm ya farm. ...Wait, that doesn’t work in my accent.

Skatra: And also, that blasted April! I hate that child! She has and is still playing a big part of tearing my life to pieces, as if it wasn’t unbearable enough!

Farqua: Goddamn! Now everyone’s bein’ real overdramatic!

Eyn: So, uh, April’s pretty much my rival, too. And we always keep running into each other. It’s almost like some stupid rival logic you see in comics and TV and stuff.

Farqua: Ha! Imagine havin’ that happen to ya? Haha!

Eyn: … And who’s your rival, Farqua? Aren’t you just the henchman-turned-hostage?

Farqua: Shut up.

Eyn: Thought so.

Farqua: But as hostage I kept bickerin’ with Matro. Does that count?

Eyn: That’s fair. …Wait. I forgot to mention, April doesn’t really have powers. When we thought we were gonna be friends when we met the first time, I sorta turned her old stick into a weapon. Yeah. Things really backfired on me.

 Do you rule over any sort of land, country, county?

Skatra: I could never rule something like that…

Doc: Oh no; I’ve got no knowledge or interest in being a ruler. I’m just a doctor.

Wyra: I can’t either, since I once accidentally caused a power outage in my old city!

Doc: And though the answer’s pretty obvious already, what about you, Eyn? Do you rule a population of some sort?

Eyn: Nah. It doesn’t even seem cool.

Farqua: Me neither. Huh! Weird that none of us are that typa antagonist?

Skatra: Now that you say it… I agree.

 Why are you considered "the bad guy"?

Skatra: Well… I’ll admit, my goal is to take probably the most important thing that the building’s got, and yes, many robots were taken advantage of in the process.

Doc: And people were hurt. And you’ve committed murder before – oho, blood’s on your hands.

Skatra: DOCTOR! I thought our therapy session was meant to be confidential!

Doc: Oops, my bad.

Skatra: And it looks like we’ve got a reason why Doctor’s a part of this interview. Any more you want to say about yourself?

Doc: Ah… Uh… I forced a lot of innocents into getting involved and even fight in this mess of a situation. And yes, without their consent. Or their families’ consent. And by doing that, their lives were all at stake. Yeah, I regret it. Fly me to skuelk. 

Wyra: I’m Doc’s action partner and out of the two of us, I think I’ve actively hurt April the most. And April’s still a little kid! That’s definitely given me a bad look!

Eyn: Eh, I just help Dad with stuff. And it really looks like I don’t care much about hurting people. That’s it, really. And I guess I also run into April the most, and a lot of the story’s from her perspective, so I guess I’m really put under a bad light.

Farqua: Same story! I’m one of Skatra’s guys! Except I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT CAPTURED BY APRIL N’ FRIENDS AND IT’S SO FUCKIN’ EMBARRASSIN’.

 Do you consider yourself purely evil?

Skatra: No! Who would?!

Wyra: Not me! I’ve just been called sadistic!

Doc: Let’s be completely real. Nobody really considers themselves evil. All of us just want to do what we feel like is right.

Eyn: Yeah, I don’t think I’m doing anything evil. I guess it’s sometimes I’m not knowing the difference between not giving a shit what everyone thinks about me versus doing what everyone agrees is morally wrong.

Farqua: Whoa! Ya got a lot of wisdom for a kid!

Skatra: And where do you think she got that from, hm?

Farqua: Stop lyin’ to yourself, she ain’t your biological daughter.

Skatra: Shut up.

 What do you think of the others in the quiz room?

Skatra: Well first off, Eyn’s my daughter, the only family member I’m happy talking to, and I love her a lot. Doctor’s a bit… I don’t know. From my experience, they’ve been a very caring and genuine person at first.  Wyra’s a bit of an oddball. I still think she’s a bit scary to approach. Those two are definitely people  you wouldn’t want as an enemy, but then again, here I am. And that leaves Farqua, who’s probably just as competent as he is annoying. What about you, Doctor?

Farqua: WHA-

Doc: Ehrm, thanks for acknowledging that about me. Anyways, as much as I hate what you’re doing, Abarran, and mind me, I’m being as honest as I can, you’re just someone who needs help. It honestly hurts to watch you and what you’re doing. Wyra is a close friend of mine! We’re completely different, but it’s as if she completely understands me. And Farqua, you’re… You’re alright, I guess. Also, I’ve been hoping for you to just stop trying to be my “rival” ever since you read that aphorism, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” And Eyn, I can tell you’re hiding behind a façade; just reveal that you dress and act the way you do because you’re a fan of the Axel Duiti series. To me, you’re as easy to read as a children’s book.

Eyn:  Hey! I mean… Never mind. Uh… My dad’s like the only guy that’s got my back. He’s cool. Dr Sarlife’s like, I dunno, a bit scary to talk to. Also, what’s up with the bunny ears?

Doc: That’s none of your… Alright, to tell you the truth, I worked at a children’s hospital. Let’s not get off topic, now. What are your thoughts on Wyra and Farqua?

Eyn: Oh. Uh… Wyra’s so hyper, it’s exhausting. But, I think we can get along? I dunno… I hope we do. And Farqua’s pretty cool. We get along pretty well. But cut off the “howdy” unless you’re gonna say that to everyone. That’s all.

Wyra: From what I know so far, I know I get along with Sarlife the best! Skatra’s, I dunno. All I know about him is through what Sarlife told me, and I think he’s a bit of a prick that could do with some fixing up. Maybe. I think Eyn’s cool! I think I’ve seen the Axel Duiti series on telly before, and I think that’s a good way to start talking! And now, Farqua. Um… Definitely a bit weird. But I find that endearing!

Farqua: That’s… That’s it? ‘Right, guess it’s my turn, then! First off, Doc, Wyra n’ Skatra, you’re all assholes for doin’ all the stuff you’re doin’ and for all the stuff ya said ‘bout me. And Eyn, you can still look like a badass and be open ‘bout all your apparently “less cool” self. Look at me? I look all cute n’ cuddly n’ sweet, but I’m pretty open ‘bout my reckless n’ aggressive nature n’ stuff, ya get?

Eyn: Wow… Didn’t expect a pep-talk but okay, I’ll take that.

Farqua: No prob, kiddo!

 On a rate of one to ten, how powerful do you think the villain next to you is?

Skatra: Oh God, I hate rating like this. Uh… Doctor’s probably a 7.

Doc: …That’s fair; I’ll take it. I was going to say 7 for you. Wyra’s close to an 8.

Wyra: No offence Sarlife, but I reckon you’re a 6, for me. 

Doc: None taken.

Wyra: Eyn’s a 9 for me. I’ve seen her with April and it’s not pretty.

Eyn: Wyra’s probably a, I dunno, 7…? Farqua’s 1.

Farqua: WHAT?!

Eyn: But with your limbs, you’re, I dunno, 8. You’re pretty strong and got a bunch of tools and stuff.

Farqua: Well, Eyn, I’m givin’ you an 8! Remember, this’s all ‘bout perspective. 

 Now, how powerful do you consider yourself to be?

Skatra: 4… 5…? I can’t get over it.

Doc: 6 or a 7. I don’t think I can give myself anything else after that last question.

Wyra: Tough. Probably 7? Or 8.

Eyn: 8.

Farqua: God, some of y’all don’t think that high of yourselves, huh! I’m givin’ myself a 9!

  Do you have an evil laugh?

Skatra: No, that’s stupid.

Doc: Can we all agree on this and move on?

Eyn: Yeah.

Wyra: Done and done!

Farqua: You guys are borin’ as hell y’know. I sorta do have one actually! But I guess tha’s ‘cause Matro keeps tellin’ me I’m just mean-spirited. And sadistic too, but it ain’t like that!

 Do ya fear death?

Skatra: Er… I’ll pass on this one…

Doc: Alright. No, I don’t, honestly.

Wyra: I agree! I don’t really care. I’ve kind of experienced it, before. 

Eyn: Well, I do. I’ve still got things I wanna get outta the way and I don’t wanna miss ‘em.

Farqua: Do I fear death? Well, I guess I do! I’ve seen it countless times ‘cause I’ve been to every burial held at the buildin’ and I see everybody all heartbroken n’ stuff. Makes me worry, y’know, ‘bout all the people who care ‘bout me n’ all.

Docc: Well, to be fair, we do all have the choice to live for as long as we want, as long as we’re not seriously damaged to the point beyond repair. Well, except for Abarran, here. He’s human and we’re all bound to outlive him.

Skatra: That’s not very nice.

 What's your goal, exactly? Or are you just evil for the heck of it?

Skatra: It’s quite basic, really. So, to put it simply, nearly fifty years of hard work’s gone down the drain. And to make up for all of it, I felt the need to do something big. So, my goal is to take the proclo machine and reveal it to the world as something of mine. Yes, I know I’ll be living a lie, but I just want to make an impact of some sort that’ll change the world, whether it be for the better or for the worse, and once the whole world hates me, I’ll just end it all there.

Doc: Alright… Well, I just want to keep this building, you know, ALIVE. I care about everyone and everything that has to do with this building, and I’ll do anything if it means this building lives on. And that’s it! I mean it literally! 

Wyra: Everything I know about this situation is through Sarlife, really. She told me everything, and when I say “anything,” I mean it. I care about this building, a lot, too! ...Eyn? What about you? Let me guess: you just want to make your dad proud of you, right?

Eyn: That’s one of them. But also, there was this one guy that commissioned me, he gave me a mission, and I failed it. Big time. Then I got left on the shelf for years, he commissioned another robot n’ stuff, and once that was done, I was sold somewhere to do some more stuff that I didn’t do so well at either, and then I was sold again. I didn’t really feel like I had anything good to do in this world, so that sucked. And then Dad picked me up from the markets and now I’m making sure I don’t fail at anything, anymore.

Farqua: … This is awkward… I ain’t got much of a motive… I just, I dunno, work for the guy- I mean Skatra…

Doc: THAT’S BECAUSE HE MANAGED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR GOAL SYSTEM, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!!

Farqua: Goddamn! Ya gotta calm down! And I thought I was aggressive!

 Do you have henchmen/a henchman?

Skatra: A lot of robots, yes, I do.

Doc: ROBOTS WHO WERE MY FRIENDS THAT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF, THAT’S WHO!

Wyra: They were my friends, too, you know!

Skatra: You know, you’ll both eventually end up working for me, sooner or later.

Doc: I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. 

Wyra: We’ve gathered a lot of the non-robotic inhabitants of the building, anyway, to help get rid of you! And Eyn, too!

Skatra: Ooh, I’m soo scared.

Eyn: … Okay so, I work with my dad, so all those robots- I mean Dr Sarlife and Wyra’s friends are sorta my henchmen, too. Wow, that makes me sound really villainous, haha…

Farqua: So! It’s my turn, now, ain’t it? WELL, JOKES ON Y’ALL, I AM A HENCHMAN!

  What do you drive?

Skatra: My little car, with a trailer attached. How do you think I got to the building? 

Doc: I drive a scooter. It’s very easy to get around which is great!

Wyra: I’m not very good at driving. But, I have had a go on the hover bikes which are fun!

Eyn: I sorta know how to drive Dad’s car, but I know the anatomy n’ whatnot better than I can drive.

Farqua: Goddamnit, EYN can drive, too?! Well…! Matro said he’d teach me to drive the train later on.

Doc: What? 

Wyra: You and Matro are all buddy-buddy, now?

Farqua: Sorta!

Doc: Well…. That’s surprising…

Wyra: Since when?

Farqua: Huh. You’re getting’ a little jealous now I’m spedin’ a lot of my time with your ol’ pal, ain’t ya?

 What do you do when you aren't trying to do whatever you're trying to achieve?

Skatra: What do I do… Well, aside from moping in my apartment all day, I like to build machines and do some arthropod photography.

Doc: For me, you’d find me obviously doing my work. During my breaks, I take walks all around the building, and occasionally, I’d draw over my papers. I’m not a very skilled artist, though…

Wyra: I like to watch some telly! And just travel around the building while I’m not doing my work, of course!

Eyn: So, as Dr Sarlife said, you probably already know I’m a huge fan of the Axel Duiti series, so I re-watch the show, re-read the comics, and all that stuff. I also like playing bass guitar and helping Dad with building and stuff. That’s it, really.

Farqua: First off, I’m a gardener and a landscaper, so catch me up on the rooftop gardens doin’ my thing. When I ain’t doin’ all that, you’ll find me in the library reading some books about, I dunno, random stuff.

 Were you ever a double-crosser (pretended to be on the opposite team, then stabbed them in the back)?

Skatra: Well, I—

Doc: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID TO ME!

Skatra: Doctor, there is no need to yell! Good God!

Doc: You can’t deny that it’s true, though. For me, I would never do that.

Wyra: Never done it! If anything, I like being honest.

Eyn: Well, I’ve tried doing that. It didn’t go very well… Farqua, your turn.

Farqua: Oh yeah. Mine’s damn interestin’, alright. ‘Cause if April and friends DIDN’T get to me first, I woulda done exactly that!

Skatra: I’m pretty sure I heard them say they thought you were up to something beforehand, so…

Farqua: Wh… How do you even hear this stuff?

Skatra: Your point of view was connected to my computers, why?

Farqua: …OKAY. I FORGOT. SORRY.

  On a scale of 1 to 10, how often do you lie? *gives them truth serum*

Skatra: Oh God… 8

Doc: 3. Lying isn’t that big a thing for both robots and doctors, and then there’s me.

Wyra: 4. Like I said, I like to be truthful. Just saying.

Eyn: 5. I’m pretty honest.

Farqua: 6-ish.

Skatra: … You’re joking! I lie the most out of all of us?

Farqua: Well, y’gotta face it. You’re the only human here.

 What color is your: hair?

Skatra: Dark green. ...For some reason.

Doc: It’s some sort of brown.

Wyra: A bit reddish-brown. Think of Sarlife’s favourite pants.

Doc: ...

Eyn: I wish I had hair…

Farqua: Ain’t that also why you wear a hat?

Eyn: I guess…

Farqua: Anyways, I ain’t got no hair too, ‘cause my design’s just like that, y’know! Gotta admit, I still pull off a cute look, huh!

 Eyes?

Skatra: Dark, dark brown.

Doc: My irises are generally jet black and my sclerae are white. When I’m under the influence of an energy chip, my sclerae turn a blueish colour.

Farqua: “SCELRAE, SCELRAE,” look, ya don’t gotta go all textbook talk mode on us.

Doc: ...You could’ve at least been a little bit nicer...

Eyn: Uh… My eyes are black. Dad says I’m not allowed to have effect chips yet, so my whites are always white.

Farqua: For most of the story, I’m not on anything so you’d see my eyes are just like Eyn’s. But a lot of the time, when I’m not working, you’d catch the white bits of my eyes turned bright yellow! Forgot which chip it was but I set up a whole stash months ago!

Wyra: Um… I’ve got no irises!

 Skin?

Skatra: Some sort of darkish beige.

Doc: I don’t really have skin, but I’m painted grey.

Wyra: Also painted grey.

Eyn: My paints are a bit weird. A lot of my body’s green, some areas are painted cream, my forearms and below the knees are painted brown, and my face is grey. Sorry if it’s a lot.

Farqua: I’m painted mostly red with some super light yellow in some places. I’ve got some small bits that’re this dark purply brown, too. And my upper arms, whatcha call it, are—

Doc: Your brac-

Farqua: WOULD YA— Doc, don’t do that. …Anyways, my whatchamacallits ain’t really painted at all.

 Whats your uniform/favorite outfit?

Skatra: Since it’s winter, I’ve been wearing my favourite turtleneck at lot, recently. I like to pair it with my long coat.

Doc: My only outfit is my doctors’ uniform. It’d be kind of strange to see me wear anything else.

Wyra: I’ve got my work uniform. That’s it, really.

Eyn: Right now, I’m wearing an outfit based off Axel Duiti. He’s an outlaw in the old Earthian west.

Farqua: I AIN’T WEARIN’ NO CLOTHES, HAHA! And that’s ‘cause my designers made sure I was too good for ‘em.

 Have you ever gone mad?

Skatra: Mad…? As in angry or…

Doc: I think they mean gone totally mental. As in you’ve lost your mind.

Skatra: Oh. Yes, I did. When, I’m not going to mention any names here, an ex-friend of mine put my years-worth of effort down the drain back in… X761, I think? What about you, Doctor?

Doc: Ah, I remember that one time… That one time Eyn nearly got me to fall under your control... And then, after that, you took all the little nurses and doctors that worked with me as prisoners... Hm, and it was a threat, too! All so I wouldn’t publicise your dastardly plan!

Skatra: Good God, you didn’t need to go into that much detail!

Doc: Anywho, what about you, Wyra? Anything similar?

Wyra: I don’t recall, really. Eyn?

Eyn: Nope.

Doc: Really? Even after everything that’s happened to you?

Eyn: Nope. And I hope it doesn’t happen to me. That’d be embarrassing.

Farqua: I ain’t had that happen to me, either! Guess that’s just a side effect of being old, huh!

Wyra: Haha!

Skatra: Excuse me?!

Doc: Farqua, you, Wyra and I were ALL programmed to behave the same age– WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SAY THAT TO ME?!

Farqua: Well, just like I said to Matro, “Stress. It ages ya.”

Doc: It doesn’t. …Alright, it does! But that doesn’t mean you can say what you just said!

Wyra: Wait... I’m stressed...?

 If so, did you enjoy it?

Skatra: No! Of course, not!

Doc: If anyone had half a brain, even they’d know not to enjoy something like that!

Skatra: You don’t even have an organic brain and you, too, know not to enjoy something like that.

Doc: … Your daughter is right here.

Skatra: OH MY GOD, I’m so sorry!

Eyn: It’s okay, Dad.

  Have any family?

Skatra: I do, back at the city. I haven’t spoken with them in almost thirty years. Eyn is the only closest family I’ve got.

Eyn: Yeah, I’ve just got him, too.

Doc: Uh, me? I can’t say. I guess if you count my model’s predecessors and successors. It makes sense.

Farqua: Same story as Doc, I guess.

Wyra: Same’s too!

  Have you ever been in love? If you have, do they love you back?

Skatra: A few times I thought I did, actually. Once in high school, twice in university, and after, I realised love wasn’t anything of my interest. I’m not complaining, though.

Wyra: Definitely! I been in love before!

Skatra: Robots can… Do that...?

Wyra: Um, yeah?

Doc: I haven’t, really. Also, this might be related, but I’ve done so a few times ever since I created the lust chip, and experimented with myself.

Eyn: Lust chip…? The heck?

Farqua: Woo-hoo, Doc, who were they?

Doc: In my first trial, it was my human anatomy model, and eventually my human skeleton model.

Farqua: … What – ya didn’t go head-over-heels with anyone alive?

Doc: Of course not! Why would I experiment with those chips around people?!

Farqua: Oh. Well, I ain’t fallen in love yet. Maybe ‘cause I’ve yet to get the hots for anyone ‘round here. Even with the lust chip! Surprisin, huh! …Y’know, since I gotta admit, I do like to look a lil cuter, don’t I?

Eyn:  Uh… Well, there’s this uvra girl...

Farqua: …

Doc: …

Wyra: ...

Skatra: Eyn, you’ve fallen in love?!

 Can you cook?

Skatra: Well, yes! I have to eat to survive. It’s a human thing.

Doc: I’ve tried teaching myself to. It’s not that difficult, actually.

Wyra: I can, a bit! I’m not very skilled though, and people have just told me to just stick to working the gas, rather than actually working with the gas.

Eyn: Dad’s been teaching me some. He says I’m a natural, haha.

Farqua: Well, I sorta do. I ain’t that great at it, though. Shucks, I gotta up my cookin’ game!

 Do you despise the Earth?

Skatra: Not really. Earth is history after all, so why should I care so much?

Farqua: Some people hate stuff from the past, y’know,

Skatra: That’s fair.

Doc: Well, despite everything, I’m pretty indifferent.

Wyra: Earth’s pretty cool if you ask me. Shame I can’t actually see it for myself, though.

Eyn: I don’t know much about Earth. But Axel lives in that place, so that’s cool.

Farqua: I’m all about Earth! There ain’t nothin else I’ve been readin’ about lately!

 What's your pet peeve?

Skatra: When anyone leaves anything personal unlocked. Imagine seeing a bag or a house’s door left open. How do people even do that? I remember back in high school nobody would lock their lockers unless they actually had to. It bothered me so much to the point where I locked one of my classmates’. That was also the time I made my first enemy. Well, not really; the person barely knew me! But they swore they’d kill me.

Doc: The fact that engineers aren’t being as creative with android antennae anymore! Are they not accepting creatives into the industry anymore or something? ...No offence, Farqua.

Farqua: Yeah, fine. Whatever.

Wyra: I think my pet peeve is when people are super nitpicky and pick out really small and meaningless details, as if they’re gonna do something big. Like, what’s the point?

Eyn: When people talk over TV shows and movies and stuff. Why would you even do that?

Farqua: Hm… I think I hate when people run over plants. Y’know, like the ones that ain’t grass n’ all that. They’re alive, too, y’know! And they especially don’t get stepped on like that!

 What kind of music to you like?

 Skatra: I’ve enjoyed all forms of jazz. I think big band’s my favourite.

Doc: This might be surprising, but I actually prefer genres like breakbeat. Or, if I want to relax, I’ll listen to space ambiance.

Wyra: Happy hardcore, hardstyle, handsup - anything that’s energising, really!

Eyn: Rock n’ roll and blues are my favourites. Maybe some ska-punk, too. I feel like a total badass when listening to them.

Farqua: I love some good punk rock, or maybe even add somethin’ like some folkier flavour to songs like those! 

 What's your favorite food?

 Skatra: Tiramisu. I don’t have it often, but I guess that’s why it’s my favourite.

Doc: ...I’m a robot. But I’ve always wanted to try dark chocolate.

Wyra: Me too! I don’t know what they taste like, but maybe cheese and nachos will do it for me!

Eyn: Dad’s always told me about different foods, but I think he’s described ramen noodles the best.

Farqua: I been told that honey-lemon chicken tastes great! I really wanna taste that!

 Are you bored, want to kill me, satisfied with this quiz, etc.?

Skatra: I’ve been enjoying it a bit, actually.

Doc: Me too. I was afraid I’d get bored. ...Sorry.

Wyra: I enjoyed it! It was a lot of questions to get through though, but I’m still here!

Eyn: Eh, it was cool, I guess…

Farqua: I ain’t gonna kill ya, I promise! ...I mean, it was good! 

 Who's your favorite villain other than yourself?

Skatra: I don’t know. Why would I have a favourite villain? Or if you’re talking about the people in this group, I guess, it’s Eyn. She’s my daughter, after all.

Doc: Wyra’s one of my closest friends. Of course, I’d pick her.

Wyra: Right back at you, Sarlife!

Eyn: I guess, I’ve just got my dad. Or, if you meant it that way, I really like one named Taft Grater. He’s one of the villains of the Axel Duiti series. He’s really well written.

Farqua: Huh! This is a tough one! I dunno, maybe Wyra.

 Do you think you're gonna die in your story?

Skatra: I don’t know. Like everyone else, I hope not, but I’ll just take what’s thrown at me.

Doc: Let’s hope I don’t!

Wyra: I don’t think I’ll die!

Eyn: I hope not, too.

Farqua: WELL, I BETTER NOT!!!

 Well, I have to go, and I'm sure you have a lot of evil scheming to do. Peace out! (Or should I say "destruction out!" in your cases?) For your creators, go tag someone! Please, it won't take long!

 Me lol: (Sorry! :’D)

Anything to add now that I'm done rambling?

Me lol: Not really, actually! but it was fun :D

Look! Please do it if you have villains, and credit me!

Please spread the word! 

(I don't have much time, I have a timed session, as I'm using some random wifi server, so I'll add more later!)

(c) me

[primalinfinity]

HUGE HUGE RWBY SPOILERS BELOW. And this is a LONG one.

Okay, watching the finale was an EVENT. The last few episodes have been the sort where I’ve paused a few times to do a lap of my apartment. This one I sat frozen in place the entire time.

It’s...strange. I got huge satisfaction from the things I got right, but it’s hollow in a way because not all of them are good.

So yeah, thoughts on the finale:

- I’m actually really satisfied that Penny got the powers of the Maiden, it pretty much closes off her Pinnochio story arc because she is now a fully realised ‘real girl’.

- Watching Cinder fail feels sooooo good. But god damn she had the best lines this episode in her opening encounter with Penny and Winter, her lines about power. Even the delivery stole the episode for me. Seeing Cinder crack is satisfying because we’re seeing more of her personality again instead of just “Bwahaha I’m the villain” which it feels like she’s been since she recruited Neo. We finally saw some of HER again. God I’m happy to see her fail. Her just snatching up the Winter powers as well would have made me roll my eyes.

- I’m pretty disappointed the fight between Robin, Qrow and Tyrian never happened. We saw it in the intro and CRWBY are normally pretty good about that sort of thing. I guess they did it just to surprise us with Clover’s death but...boo. Disappointment for that.

- Still processing Ironwood’s descent into madness and paranoia. I get that he’s fully cracked, but shooting Oscar/Ozpin? Bruh, that seems a bit much even for how far he’s fallen. He goes from simply arresting team RWBY, to attempting to kill a kid, in a single episode? Gehhh not sure how to feel about it.

- I thought the fight between RWBY and the Ace Ops last episode would be my favourite fight of the volume, but god damn did Cinder vs Winter & Penny steal that podium. It was great to see Winter show her true power, since we only got a glimpse of it back in volume 3 against Qrow when she wasn’t even going full strength. After all this time of hearing how good she is over and over, it was great to finally see it. I’m glad she survived, but now Weiss has no-one left in her family on her side except PERHAPS her mother, for all the good that will do.

- WHY DIDN’T IRONWOOD KILL WATTS. Two episodes. Two episodes it took from him APPARENTLY sparing Watts, to shooting a kid. DUDE. What the HELL. Honestly the more I think about it, the more I twitch about Ironwood’s descent.

- We got maybe 2 minutes of interaction with the previous Winter Maiden before she died, and it took less than that for me to fall in love with her to a degree that her passing hurt my heart. And that’s twice now Cinder has seen what a TRUE Maiden can do, and fallen hilariously short in front of it.

- Neo continues to be utterly unstoppable and the least beaten character on the show except for Raven, I desperately want to know her backstory and how she got so STRONG. We know nothing about her except her attachment to Roman and being part of his crime gang, and yet she can go toe-to-toe with not just Cinder, but the entirety of JNOR too.

- So, Ozpin returns! I was completely convinced that we were going to see Oscar’s semblance, and that he’d be able to fly to stop himself from falling to his death, but seeing him use magic was amazing. What was the glow with the staff’s mechanics activating? We know Ozpin’s magic is green, as is Oscar’s aura, so what was the gold glow? And I really like how one of the first things Ozpin was going to say, was to apologise. And he sounded so sincere, but I’m also glad Oscar cut him off. Oscar has grown a lot since Ozpin vanished and he clearly sees himself as Ozpin’s equal now. Which is really good. I’ve grown fond of Oscar and I can’t wait to see what his dynamic with Ozpin is now.

- Also a note on Ozpin’s return; he didn’t take over Oscar while they were falling as he returned. We saw the eyes flash so clearly he was really present, but he DIDN’T TAKE OVER. He simply clearly told Oscar what could be done, and guided him. He let Oscar do it, with simple guidance. Going back to when we saw Ozpin’s backstory from the Lamp, there’s a line about how he ‘learned to live WITH the people he was bound to’ Which implies he learned to let them live their own lives and make their own choices, but with trust they’ll also do their responsibilities. And he finally did that here with Oscar, trusting him. Ozpin has decided to trust Oscar and respect him. He’s clearly been watching.

- Ren isn’t having a good time, ever since his kiss with Nora. He hesitated in regards to their feelings for each other for so long because he feared complications and he feared they’d be distracted and overall weakened because of it. But ever since she finally kissed him and he kissed her back, he’s been proven right again and again. And the final time this episode, hesitated to stop Neo when she used Nora’s appearance, Neo got away with the Lamp. His rage about that was believable, but he didn’t need to lash out directly at Nora. I understand he fears weakness, because of his childhood trauma, but he’s spoken to Jaun in the past in front of the Pyrrha statue about teamwork and now he doesn’t trust his team to be able to do the job. It’s frustrating. But I also understand it.

- The fight with Neo felt ‘off’ with me, and I don’t know why. There was something unbalanced about it from the start and I truly don’t know why I feel the way I do about it. Something about it was just off-kilter and ‘wrong’ with it. It’s a strange feeling that I’ll think over when I rewatch the fight a few times.

- I hate that Tyrian is still alive. The D&D DM in me hates it because he’s a villain that’s done enough. He’s taken enough away from the heroes, done everything he was meant to do. He was a big impacting force this volume. Ever since he was truly introduced in his fight with Qrow and team RWBY this volume is what it was building up to. He scared the audience and the characters, wreaked havoc, and took enough away from the protagonists again and again that if he had died this volume it would have been a release of tension.

His escape and survival isn’t a cliffhanger, it’s a sour ending. Robin & Qrow killing him in the streets of Mantle, as we see their fight in the intro, a fight which never happened, would have been a perfect symbollic ending to his arc as a villain. Symbolic for dying in Mantle where he ruined Robin’s life (in a way), and dying at Qrow’s hands after everything he’s done.

He should have died this episode.

- On the note of villains surviving, there IS a part of me relieved that Watts isn’t dead. In contrast to Tyrian, Watts HASN’T done enough as a villain. Sure, he was a major player this volume, more major than Tyrian, but we don’t know him. Tyrian radiates his personality, we got a grasp of who he was early, but we still don’t KNOW Watts. Will Salem let him live? Will we see more of him? All questions I want answered. I’m curious what they’ll do with him now after this staggering ‘failure’ of his.

His strength is technology. Specifically the technology of Atlas. But the next destination after Atlas is Vacuo, said to be the most run down of the cities (probably because of the relic of Destruction). What could he possibly do to them there?

- Ruby’s silver eyes flashing at the end when she saw Cinder did NOTHING to her. Cinder seemed fine later when she was raging in the sky. So. Uhh. Alright then. That happened.

- So far we’ve met the Cowardly Lion, and the Tinman. And both have failed and given in to their weaknesses. We’re yet to meet the Scarecrow, who’s almost certainly the Headmaster of Shade. The Scarecrow lacks a brain. Are we about to encounter an idiot, after the Atlas story is resolved next volume? Fun fun fun.

+=+=+=+

All in all, this volume satisfied me a great deal. It had a lot of spectacular moments. There are a few that left sour tastes, as mentioned above, but overall I was really impressed.

Some of my favourite fights in the show, although the original fight between Tyrian and Qrow still owns that title overall, and a lot of fantastic character moments. And some of the best dialogue so far said in the show.

I loved it from start to finish, with only those few moments disappointing me.

Can’t wait for Volume 8

[bellamygateoldblog]

rate best to worst parental figures of the 100

worst → best (I tend to ramble throughout this, sorry!)

19 — Nia : I mean I don’t think an explanation is needed here lol. She burned Echo’s parents alive, it’s implied she then renamed her Ash, before forcing her into the identity of another child and filling her life with assassination and espionage. Mother Of The Year?

18 — Aurora : so firstly we have Octavia- who’s existence shouldn’t be. It was so incredibly irresponsible and selfish to subject her child to this life. If the ark hadn’t been dying and Octavia never caught, would she had been expected to grow old and die under the floor? Would Bellamy have spent his life, even after Aurora was long dead, being nothing more than his sister’s keeper?

And Bellamy- to manipulate your six year old son into believing it’s his responsbility to protect and care for his sister, so engrained into his mind and sense of self that he still lives by this mantra well into his 20s, to treat Bellamy being Octavia’s whole world as normal, having him go through his life with this small girl attached to him, entirely dependent on him, placing such a heavy weight onto a child- it’s UGH. No words, just a grunt.

He gave up his education and his personal life and he became a father when he was six years old. She took his life away.

This early family dynamic is at the root of ALL of Octavia and Bellamy’s major character traits, struggles and flaws, it drives them still, it’s effects are still felt and reinforced. BOO.

17 — Raven’s unnamed mother : And here is where I go off on a rant criticising the writing more than the actual mother. Just like Octavia, Raven was raised by another child, except in this case her mother is emotionally absent and said child is the same age as her (or younger) and thus i expect their experience and maturity levels are matched through their lives. Could this have bourne some co-dependency? Perhaps, but it’s never talked about i think because Raven’s backstory is practically a Schrödinger’s cat scenario with all the retconning that goes on. Like here- we recieved some more information in season six that directly contradicts what was already established of their mother-daughter relationship: “she never used me.”

*deadpan narrator voice* She did, however, use her.

That’s if we choose to accept this one as canon and not that one, god this writing is atrocious. Raven’s mother was neglectful, so much so that the only way she ate is through a boy sharing his own rations with her. Raven believes “she only had [her] so she could trade [Raven’s] rations for moonshine.” SHE DID USE HER DAUGHTER.

Furthermore, in season one she defended her mother (context: when a remark was made about selling sex in exchange for supplies), she tells her not to “dare talk about [her] mother that way” and i get the impression she at least respected her, but in season six she straight up calls her “a drunk who sold herself for booze.” In fact in season six she goes from being deluded one second- “she never used me”- to being scarily desensitised by a harsh reality the next, the same way she was in early seasons, speaking casually of her mother’s alcoholism. WHAT IS THE TRUTH? None of what we know of Raven’s family and backstory can coexist and yet here we are, talking about Raven’s family and backstory as if the writers ever cared enough to make it actually coherent.

16 — Murphy’s unnamed mother : did love him once, very much so, but let her grief poison her and turn her against her son. Another alcoholic/addict mother to add to the collection. We don’t have a lot of details about her, but the knowledge that she blamed her vulnerable little boy who had no control over his own health for the death of her husband who made his own conscious choice is enough for me to place her down here. The source of Murphy’s lack of self worth, *implied* intrusive thoughts, and difficulty connecting with others, and just in general sometimes being a total jackass. Yeah, it’s all her fault.

15 —  Clarke : like mother, like daughter. She electrocuted her child,  but what I find to be remarkably horrific about this is the simple fact  the device is the same one used to torture her in the  beginning of the season, the same one used by the so-called ‘villains’. She felt and endured the pain herself, and then decided subjecting her own daughter to that same treatment was an acceptable and necessary choice-  before leaving that decision completely redundant later by switching allegiance  and having Madi lead the army afterall. Madi was dependent on Clarke, the silent agreement is trust and respect, and this one singular  action showed Clarke violating everything it means to be a guardian and  protector. Also, she never apologised to Madi for this, nor did their relationship experience strain as a result when both of those  things absolutely should’ve happened. That’s my main gripe with the  relationship, the other being that it’s bourne of the same strain of  co-dependancy as the Blakes.

Something about Madi wanting to go to  school and be a regular child and Clarke responding to that with an ultimatum doesn’t sit right with me. At this point nobody cares about the Commander. Nobody- literally every single grounder is asleep- and, as her mother, Clarke has the right and the power to have Madi take out that damn flame to preserve her safety and youth and she doesn’t. She continues to let Gaia train her 12 year old for a dead position. Clarke is just as much culpable for the Sheidheda fiasco as Spacekru are for putting the flame into Madi’s head in the first place. That thing should’ve been removed as soon as it was no longer necessary. Clarke’s young, she had a child practically sprung upon her, and i want to give her the benefit of the doubt- but I won’t.

14 — Abby : I had no idea where to put Abby on this list and I think i’m being too generous but she’s a tricky one because I don’t think she’s necessarily a bad mother, not compared to the others on this list anyway, but the harsher aspects of her personality along with the high-stakes environment leads to the natural break down of her relationship with her daughter. I got the impression they were once close; Clarke is seen reaching out for her mother for comfort and validation multiple times during the first couple of seasons and she’s devastated and betrayed at the knowledge of what was Abby’s culpability in Jake’s death. Over time this falls apart. Abby never harms her biological daughter, but does have a very weird rival-like relationship with her, imo this being because they’re so similar. I can see so much Abby in Clarke and vice-versa. And they clash because of it, and Abby just doesn’t have any authority over Clarke, and over time their relationship distances to a point it lacks emotional value and other characteristics that make mother-daughter dynamics unique and meaningful. They love each other, no doubt about that, Abby’s been prepared to throw others to the wolves for her daughter a few times, just as Clarke does later in life. But the relationship between Abby and her daughter is strained from the beginning of the series, which makes her position as Clarke’s mother complicated.

Upon meeting Abby, Raven instantly viewed her through an almost idolistic lens- “relax, it’s a compliment, Abby’s a badass”- making me believe she latched onto this idea of The Mother She Never Had, and Abby’s first thoughts when encountering Raven were literally that she reminded her of her own daughter- “reminds me of someone.” This dynamic is absolutely intended as mother-daughter. While a mother-figure to Raven, though, Abby has directly and intentionally caused her harm. She’s electrocuted her, she;s then tried to avoid acknowledging her wrongness for that action- Raven in this moment of torture is as betrayed as Madi was by Clarke- she’s also hit her and while in a systematically higher position than her no less. These instances automatically make me wince away from the relationship because in no way does it come across as comfortable and safe for Raven. On the other hand, they’ve had a bunch of heartfelt moments even though they’re disguised as harsh jabs taken at one another. They’ve expressed the hard truth when nobody else will in times of the other’s vulnerability.

There is a stark contrast though between how she treats Clarke and how she treats Raven and the lack of biological relation, i think, is a buffer for Abby. IMHO i think her care for Raven is conditional, but unconditional for Clarke.

I don’t know what i should be feeling about her motherly-ness.

13 — Kane : I didn’t pay much attention to Kane’s dynamics, honestly, because I just didn’t like him, but as far as I’m aware he tried to do well by Octavia, Bellamy and Clarke, somewhat self-righteously and blaming, but trying is trying and he is always framed as in the right and morally superior so I guess that’s gotta count for something. This was all ruined during season five, though, with him attempting to have every one of them killed among other things. He didn’t appear concerned or reluctant- or anything about any of them.

12 —  Hannah : I think it’s safe to assume Monty had a good relationship with both of his parents pre-show. Hannah came across as misguided and manipulative towards Monty often, though, which i think came from both a place of love and desire to protect, but also, at points of most controlling, from a place of desperation and fear having already lost her husband. Honestly all I remember is not liking her very much so i’m placing her here in the middle/neutral area with Indra and Jaha.

11 — Indra : I place her here because we don’t actually have a lot of information about her relationship with Gaia. And I view her relationship with Octavia as mentor-mentee and eventually friends. They’ve had some sweet heart-to-heart moments, but i’ve always struggled to see the maternal connection. Octavia might be the daughter Gaia never was to Indra (I think Gaia might’ve even said this in the actual show?) but such a fond and pronounced memory of Aurora still exists within Octavia and with her very narrow-minded vision I don’t see her prepared to replace her or at the very least share that position with other people in her life. Indra is a stoic character, but it’s almost as if her emotional expression is reserved for Octavia. This speaks something of the closeness of their bond, but also tells us the climate between her and Gaia is more distant and troubled. There’s love there though- she was, afterall, planning to die so Gaia could live. Is this the only intended motherly sacrifice we’ve seen on the show?

The Blodreina of it all, while on one hand strengthened one dynamic, shattered the other. Indra is someone Octavia respected, trusted and listened to. I have to believe she was in the position to guide and advice her through the entireity of the time jump, but instead we saw her stand by and let Octavia slip further and further into her own darkness before turning on her in the most critical moment. And she might’ve tried and nothing worked, but really? You want me to try to make sense of this myself? The writers were on a quest to villainise Octavia and the fall of this relationship was a product rather than an intention.

10 — Jaha : he created a treasure, i’ll give him that. Admittedly we don’t know an awful lot about Wells or about his relationship with his father, but we do know he risked his own life to take care of Clarke, similar to Bellamy and to Raven who both also came to Earth to protect someone they loved. Both of those examples had terrible parents, so Wells’ goodness doesn’t necessarily mean we can credit Jaha, and as far as i can remember Wells never actually defended his father against the angry delinquents. Does him choosing to follow Clarke over staying with his father in space mean he must really love Clarke, or could it ellude to a certain father-son relationship not being as comfortable as it could be? When Jaha’s handed another child later on, he stops Kane giving him extra food because of something along the lines of: ‘he needs to learn the world’ so I think his parenting style may be more of the tough love and respect type. Wells is practical and strives to maintain order and squash rebelliousness thus his butting heads with the rest of the delinquents, but he has people’s best interests at heart (letting Clarke hate him rather than Abby, for example) and those are very Jaha characteristics i can see he inherited/observed and imitated.

9 — Monty and Harper : we only have a handful of information on this. Jordan has fond memories of them, but so does Octavia and Bellamy about their mother and we all know the truth about that one. Jordan is a backwards Octavia. Monty and Harper were all he had growing up, he wasn’t forced into hiding, but I can’t imagine it was a fun existence for him to grow up in isolation- watching the faces of other children behind the glass and never being able to wake them up to play. BUT his childhood is different to Octavia’s in a few ways that make a big difference and land them further up the list: 1) he’s clearly educated, 2) he has two loving parents even if they are all he has, 3) he has knowledge about the Earth, it’s story and the people from it so has a much stronger and more complex understanding of morality, meaning he’s less judgemental, and he’s also better prepared to interact with others by the time this oppurtunity arises.

They get points for leaving him in Bellamy’s hands, but are automatically relegated a few places for making Clarke his god mother.

8 — Bellamy : yes Bellamy is on this list because yes he is Octavia’s father and nothing you say matters. So every child he’s ever ‘adopted’ has died, but he tries his best to think of these children when nobody else was ever doing that. Octavia’s damaged and her more toxic traits have a tendancy to become amplified in times of high emotion, especially in the vicinity of her brother, but he was just as much a victim in all of this as she was and Aurora is entirely to blame for the disaster that is the Blake sibling relationship (I mean neither of them even had a frame of reference of what siblings look like, how were they to know how to relate to one another?).

He tries. He’s more equipped to and committed than most on this show to helping vulnerable people, he’s proven time and time again he’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect and love his sister, he gets it wrong sometimes, his efforts can be misguided and recieved differently than he might’ve intended them to be. But the facts are: he understands what it means to be a parent, he knows what it’s like to lose their child, he knows what it’s like to pour himself into someone else and hope for the best of them.

7 — Luna : she founded a clan and those people were, in a sense, her children. She kept them safe for years, it was peaceful, life was simple and fulfilling. Clarke observed her interactions with the actual children that lived there and they loved her, she was good with them. Her people respected her.

6 — Monty’s father : yet another heroic father to add to this fucking collectio-

5 —  Ginger dad : in one of the most heartbreaking scenes on this show to date, he does the David Miller thing, or i guess David Miller does The Ginger Dad Thing, and sacrifices his own life to pump more air into his child’s lungs.

4 — Murphy’s unnamed father : in a place you’ll be executed for petty crime, risking it all and stealing something as valuable as medicine just to give your son a chance at more life is commendable. He loved his son (literally) to death. It’s his memory and his sacrifice, like with Raven and Clarke, that pushes him to survive.

3 — Jake :  I think the show has demonstrated quite nicely that Clarke is a daddy’s girl. Jake The Good Engineer, Jake The Good Father, Jake The Hero. He inspires Clarke so much she goes to prison for it. And, like Sinclair-Raven, Clarke’s consciousness dreams him up whenever she’s in an intensely stressful situation and/or feeling hopeless about life and void of direction in general. This was a comfortable and secure bond, and his death marked the beginnings of Clarke’s entire story.

2 — David : easily one of the best fathers on the show, i mean he gave up the oppurtunity of claiming a spot in the bunker just so he could give his son better odds of surviving, he gave up the possibility of being in the bunker with his son. Another fatherly sacrifice for the collection. He loves Miller unconditionally, even when Miller himself feels like a disappointment.

1 — Sinclair : this was an obvious retcon, but still good as long as I don’t think about it. A cute father-figure, the mentor that took a chance on her, the first (or second) person to pick her. Everything about this relationship is sweet and healthy, a nice diversion from the usually exhaustingly complex dynamics. Their relationship was so meaningful, in fact, that it was him who Raven’s dying mind manifested to encourage her to go on living. 10/10.

(and don’t think i don’t peep that bad/cruel mothers, good/heroic fathers pattern here. These writers WACK…)

[vickypoochoices]

Scrabble Heart.

Author's Note: I don't write James fics ever, but this idea came to me and he was the only person I could imagine pulling this off! I also need you to excuse any mistakes regarding the rules for Scrabble. I played once, over ten years ago, and cried because I was so awful at it! I've had a quick Google of the rules, and I know I've forgotten about the double points on the first go, but we can forget all about that when we see the outcome of this game right? I hope!

Tagging: I don't really have a tag list for James, so i'm sorry if I've tagged you and you aren't interested. @zigortega4life @emerald-bijou @littlegreenmoo @krsnlove

"I miss Zack. He would never pick on me like you have. Relentlessly. All day long.”

“Oh boo hoo. Cry me a river. Who do you think planted this little idea in my head in the first place?” Kaitlyn retorts, not even glancing up from where she's picking at her worn down, stubby nails.

A sharp hiss of breath, grinding teeth and a tight ball of scrunched up fingers under the table was her only response initially, a half hearted threat eventually following. "When he gets back I’m gonna...”

“Shower me with kisses? Squeeze me so tight I literally explode?” A giddy squeal from the entrance to the coffee shop interrupted her.

“ZACK?! What are you doing here?”

“Did you really think I’d miss one of the biggest nights of my best friend’s life?”

A sharp slap sounded out as the palms of Zack and Kaitlyn met in unison for a high five. Both wearing matching smug smiles. Both watching on as their friend sagged against a corner seat.

“Good job Liao. She’s a tough one to crack but with a little perseverance we’ll have her coming round to our way of thinking in no time.”

Zack slid into the seat next to her, bringing an arm up to hang loosely around her shoulders. Her nostrils flared at the overwhelming and intensely overpowering scent that followed. Not what she had grown accustomed to. Zack smelt fresh, fruity, exotic. Shrinking back slightly, she eyed him cautiously, taking note of his face. Flecked with a smattering of fresh freckles, and the tone of his skin; a shade pinker than what was probably deemed desirable. She flinched at the sudden thud of Zack's backpack tumbling to the floor.

Whilst one eyebrow remained in place, higher than the other, her hands betrayed her, instinctively grabbing at thin air greedily, eager to snap up the thick slab of chocolate she could see poking out the top of the bag.

“Present!” He exclaimed, still not making a move, eerily still and watching her closely. She swallowed hard, suddenly on edge.

“Did you get abducted by aliens whilst you were away or something? One, you are being really weird right now. Like, really weird. Two, the Zack I know would buy chocolate as a gift for me, but find it too irresistible and end up eating it himself then palm me off with a fridge magnet. And three, am I really supposed to believe that you got a tan if that’s what you want to call it, from a last minute trip around Europe?”

“Okay well one, if I really was abducted by aliens I’d be selling my story and making my millions right now instead of wasting my time here with you. Two, that was one time that I ate your chocolate and i’ve spent the last five years apologising for my mistake, how much longer are you going to hold it against me? And finally, Europe does get hot. Sometimes. I’ll have you know.” Zack puffed out the breath he’d been holding, cheeks reddening with each word. He looked her over, a smirk tugging at his lips, a glimmer in his eye.

“And I thought it could serve as your first engagement present too, I was going to get James a nice bottle of wine for tonight, but I ran out of money.”

She rolled her eyes, tutting loudly. “That’s it, I take it all back. From this moment on I am best friend less.” She stared pointedly at Zack, Kaitlyn giggling in the background as she stealthily swiped the chocolate bar, taking advantage of Zack's momentary lapse of concentration.

“Love you too babe! I’d better be the first person you call once James pops the question or I’ll seriously have to reconsider my answer when you ask me to be your man of honour.”

A sweet smile ghosted her lips as she flipped him the bird before flouncing out of the coffee shop. An unsettling feeling began to rise in the pit of her stomach, a bitter taste still apparent after the conversation she'd just had.

The fresh air hit her face on, hair whipping around wildly as a gust of autumnal wind swept past her. But she barely even noticed, subconsciously winding her pashmina a little tighter around herself, her nose burying into it. As her feet carried her off down the path littered with crunchy, crisp golden leaves, her mind was stuck in St. Mark's Basilica. The large round domes and marble multi coloured pillars. With her feet now rounding a corner, her mind wandered further, now walking along the Bridge of Sighs at the Doge's Palace. She paused for a second, surprising herself as a rumble of laughter escaped her mouth unexpectedly.

"It's fascinating here. And beautiful. We could get lost in Venice and roam the streets for months and I'd still never tire of this place." James talked animatedly, his pace of speech hurried as his excitement grew, all the while his thumb brushed over her knuckles soothingly, despite his apparent excitement overtaking his mouth.

The glistening water that passed them, as they both stole glances of each other. James looking at her wistfully and lingering. Nope. If he was going to propose it would have been then. In Italy. One of the most beautiful and romantic countries in the world. Or any one of the other amazing places they'd visited together. Not a random Thursday night in their apartment of all places. She shook her head, unsure why she even entertained the idea. This was Zack and Kaitlyn anyway. Why did she ever take them seriously in the first place?

A long, drawn out breath escaped as she made her way into her shared apartment with James, silently cursing the loud jangle of keys that seemed to slice through the silence. At least Zack didn't bring her another keyring back. Her set contained two keys but dozens of mismatched keyrings, mainly little momentos as a memory of the places her and James had visited. They'd taken a year off together. They were both busy and successful in their own rights, but some days it had seemed as though they were slipping into the old ships in the night routine, which so many long term relationships always seemed to suffer. James had often talked about showing her the world one day, until the words 'Why not today' tumbled out of her mouth in a rush, little to no thought actually going into the logistics of it all.

Twirling around on the spot, her eyes narrowed, skepticism pooling within her as she took note of her dimly lit surroundings. James sat hunched over their dining table, flicking his wrist a few times, a flickering flame from his matchstick disapating cleanly, her nostrils flaring slightly at the heavy smokey scent drifting towards her. The room would have been pitch black, were it not for the dozens and dozens of candles strategically dotted around the living room. Shit. He's not...?

Catching sight of her, James's demeanor changed, his eyes crinkling at the corners, mustering up a lopsided grin, neither confirming nor denying her suspicions.

"Hey." His voice was normal. Not squeaky or strained, no hint of nerves in the slightest. Her voice however betrayed her, the notes wavering shakily as she choked out a terse 'hey' of her own in response.

Something in the way she remained rooted to the spot, anxiously eyeing every candle painfully slowly must have prompted James as to the inner turmoil she was currently battling.

Striding the short distance between them, her fingers greedily snatched up the half full wine glass she found pressed between them, a trace amount dribbling out of the corner of her mouth as she struggled to knock it back cleanly in one.

He eyed her curiously, warmth jolting her to her senses as his hand covered hers, steadying, as he seamlessly removed the glass from her grasp and sat it down on a nearby coffee table. The warmth radiated through her, her whole body fighting off a chill she wasn't even aware of until now. Tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, his warmth spread to her face, a rosy glow heating her cheeks as he cupped her face in his hand, watching her with an unreadable expression.

"The electricity's out."

She tried to reign in the breath she hadn't even realised she'd been holding, a short puff of air the only thing to pass her lips somehow. Idiot! There's a perfectly good explanation after all!

"That...makes sense."

A rich chuckle rumbled, James cocking his head to the side as he looked her over from top to bottom, perplexed. "Are you okay?"

She stared, deadpan for a moment, mouth slightly agape before pulling herself together. She wasn't about to let Zack and Kaitlyn ruin this night. Game night was one of her favourite nights of the week!

Nodding her head once, setting her shoulders back and fixing her face with an award winning smile she hoped wasn't too over the top, she took a step towards the 'game table'. "I'm fine Ashton. Just eager to beat your ass, as usual!"

Breaking out into a grin, he paced over to the table, both now hovering by their designated seats. "Is that so?"

"Have you been getting a little extra practice in tonight?" She jerked her head towards the Scrabble board set out in the middle of the table, a few words scattered around.

"The pressure is on me tonight."

She swallowed hard, mind going into overdrive for all of thirty seconds before James pressed on.

"If I remember correctly, you've won two weeks in a row."

Bringing a hand up to cup around her ear, her eyes twinkled mischievously. "Say it a little louder."

He chuckled distractedly, his gaze dropping to her lips. As James took a step towards her, she took one backwards, the heel of her foot knocking into contact with her chair. Her eyes widened, a brief moment of panic washing over her. Fingers curling tightly around the fabric of James's shirt reflexively, she braced herself for the fall, expecting James to come tumbling down with her. Instead, strong arms encircled her waist, gently placing her harmlessly into position on her chair.

A momentary loss of balance forced James down with her. Their foreheads coming to rest together, her chest rising and falling exaggeratedly as she caught her breath. Grateful for the strong arms wrapped protectively around her and the feather light strokes of his fingertips along one of her hip bones that followed.

Her eyes found their way to his and found them seeking out an answer to his unanswered question. A slight angle of her head was all it took, her lips latching onto his once, then twice, hoping that would be enough to reassure him that she was fine.

"Someone's eager to play." James whispered into her covered neck, before dipping lower to place a single kiss against her collar bone.

Her cheeks flushed, slowly unravelling the long pashmina she'd long since forgotten about.

"How about we play later?" Her lips tugged upwards into a coy smile, as she beckoned him closer still with a crook of her finger.

A startling crackle from one of the candles distantly in the room pulled them apart.

A small patch of skin on the back of her hand glistened under the candlelight as James left a lingering kiss there. "As tempting as that offer is..."

The formation of a sharp crease between his brows had her unintentionally mirroring him, a furrow of confusion flitting across her features at the obvious deflection. His words were at odds with his facial features, and she couldn't understand why.

Swallowing down an influx of unwelcome emotions, a breezy smile slipped into place as she turned her attention to the table, eager for a distraction. Settling back in the chair and sucking in a healthy amount of air, she welcomed the space as James eased himself off of her, and into position opposite.

Hands steepled together, her wandering eyes latched onto the opposite side of the table. A collection of tiles with a mismatch of complete and half strung together words caught her attention, the most striking being Eternity. Chin jutting, eyes narrowed, voice croaking, she managed just one word.

"Cheat!"

"This is one game I very much hope I can win tonight." His eyes sparkled in the darkness.

"Ready when you are."

Dipping his head, James alternated between an awkward squint and a cocky flit between his letters. After what felt like an eternity, he finally placed down his first word. Love.

Really? All of that build up for four letters and seven fucking points?

"Losing never looked so sexy before." She smirked teasingly.

"I just need a little more time to warm up."

A thin sheen of sweat shone off his forehead, but before she could voice any concern a sharp buzz at the door interrupted. Raising an eyebrow questioningly, James shrugged casually, using the back of his hand to swiftly swipe at his clammy forehead.

"Well I couldn't make us dinner with the electricity out, so I went ahead and ordered us some pizza. Could you go? I'm pondering over my next move and I'll probably just start spurting out random words to the delivery guy if I go."

"Don't get ahead of yourself Ashton. I think you'll find it's my turn next. We didn't up the stakes last week without my knowledge did we? Because you are acting strange all of a sudden. Unless you just can't take the humiliation of being beaten by me three weeks in a row..."

"Sounds like someone is worried about that winning streak coming to an end."

With a stern face and narrowed eyes, she outstretched two fingers in front of her, before moving them back and forth between the pair, signalling that she's watching him.

"I promise you." James smiled, raising his hand and placing it over his heart, sincerity flushing his features. "I'm not cheating, and we didn't up the stakes. This game is an important one. There's no coming back from this for me if you beat me three weeks in a row."

She nodded her head once in acceptance before bounding over to the door, eager to get back to the game.

"Good evening ma'am." A muffled voice greeted her, buried behind a stack of pizza boxes.

"Seems everyone in the building had the same idea tonight, we're rushed off our feet. Now then, which one of these is yours?"

A middle aged, kind faced man suddenly appeared as he carefully manoeuvred the tower of boxes onto the floor.

"Huh, looks like there's been a mix up. Nothing is labelled, makes my job a hell of a lot harder let me tell you kid! There's no other way to do it than opening the boxes and looking through."

A slight huff and an irritated glance back at James followed, not that he noticed. He was hunched over, scrutinising each tile whilst stroking his chin absentmindedly.

"Alright let's do this. James is awkward and orders extra toppings, so I guess his should be easy to spot."

Time seemed to stand still as the delivery guy sifted through the mountain of boxes painstakingly slowly.

"Well what do you know, the bottom two eh? What are the chances?"

She found her eyebrows raising and her foot tapping, her patience well and truly tested now.

"Okay great. Thanks so much. Have a great night!" She strained out, struggling with all her might to refrain from slamming the door in his face.

"Can you believe that James? Next time I think I'd rather just starve!"

Winding her way back to the table, she frowned at the now vacant seat, James no where to be seen. Setting down the pizza boxes in the middle of the table, she let out a long sigh. Same thing every Thursday. Wine goes straight through him! Her lips curled up into a cunning smile, as she risked a peek behind her, ensuring James wasn't about to walk in and catch her stealing a glance at his rack and tiles. With the coast clear, she loomed over the empty seat on his side, her throat constricting instantly.

There were no spare tiles, on either James's side or her own. Just the Scrabble board, positioned perfectly straight, and completed. Her legs buckled, the safety of James's chair acting as a net and catching her, her elbows coming to rest on the table as she leaned forward, eyes erratically scanning over the words in place.

Love. Eternity. Italy.

Stomach clenching as realisation set in, she allowed her eyes to drop a little further down. An unmistakablely large diamond ring sat in the centre of the board, the accompanying tiles set out directly underneath it spelt out just four more words. Will. You. Marry. Me.

"I hope Zack and Kaitlyn didn't ruin the surprise."

Mouth agape, her head slowly turned to her right, gaze falling to the floor and landing on James, knelt down on one knee looking at her earnestly.

"James what...?"

"Is it hot in here all of a sudden or is it just me?"

"That might have something to do with the hundreds of candles you've got heating up the room."

"Right, yeah. I didn't think that one through properly did I?"

Her arms folded across her chest, the penny finally dropping.

"The power isn't out?"

"Nope."

"And the pizza delivery guy?"

A sheepish look flits across his face. "He might have been paid handsomely to help me out." He paused, clearing his throat loudly. "But babe, we've sort of strayed a little here."

Her stomach twisted into knots, her heart pounding harshly. "Right err..."

"No wait. This isn't right. I've spent the best part of a year planning all of this and I've messed it all up."

"A year?" She repeated quitely.

"It would have been too obvious to do it whilst we were jetsetting around the world. We'd talked about doing that together for so many years, I didn't want to take anything away from that experience for you."

Her face softened at his words. My James. Always so thoughtful.

"I didn't think it was possible, but every day I fell more and more in love with you. I nearly caved in a few times, even went as far as to check out a jewelers whilst we were in Malta. Then you text me saying you'd woken from your nap and you were starving so I came home with food instead of a ring."

She couldn't help but giggle, cursing herself mentally. Damn you stomach!

"And then we came home and we settled back into our old routine and I thought I'd missed my chance. Then I realised, none of that even matters. I could wine you and dine you in an extravagant restaurant. Or we could stay in, surrounded by all of our firsts."

She chewed on the inside of her lip nervously, but her expression must have faltered, as she felt James stroke her hand timidly, taking a moment to find the right way to answer her confusion.

"The first time we kissed. The first time together properly, how could I ever forget? The first confession of love I'd ever muttered to anyone before. The first experience of living with a partner, my beautiful partner." His eyes softened.

"The first proposal. Hopefully the last! The first moments afterwards, when you've given me your answer..."

Diving downwards and pressing against him forcibly, they fell backwards, tumbling together into the floor. For the second time that night, James found himself instinctively curling his arms around her protectively, their lips melding together in a sudden fierce frenzy.

Panting as he pulled away, James cradled her face in his hands, thumb gently stroking either side in adoration. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm glad I could soften the fall for you."

"That yes was an answer to your original question James."

"Right right." He nodded his head slowly, taking a moment for the words to sink in properly. "Yes, as in yes yes?"

"Okay, that word is officially banned from now on!" She quipped, face widening in a broad smile.

Raising her hands to his lips and brushing a kiss to each finger individually, he kept his eyes locked on her's, the threat of happy tears brimming in his eyes as he slowly slipped the ring onto her finger.

"There's just one thing left to do now." He murmured against her mouth, tugging at her bottom lip.

"Which is?"

"Finish the game, of course. What else?"

[hitchell-mope]

(First film. Coronation. Audrey’s grabbed the wand and is pointing it at Mal. Ben Jay Carlos Doug Evie Lonnie Jane and Verna are standing in front of Mal protectively)

Audrey: she told me everything. Why would any of you do this. Why would any of you protect that

(Jay’s eyes glow dangerously)

Ben: Audrey it’s not what you think.

Audrey: alright benji. Enlighten me. Tell me why I shouldn’t blast her face in

Ben: I knew.

Audrey: I know.

Mal: I told her everything

Evie: well. We’re fucked

Mal (addressing the court): my friends and I were sent here to steal the wand

Leah: I knew it!

Evie: SHUT UP YOU OLD BAG! Go on Mal

Mal: but a month in. I decided. No. Why would we want to steal the wand. Our parents were probably gonna kill us regardless of what we did cause we “fulfilled our purpose”.

Audrey (smiling sweetly): I’m sorry. Is this supposed to make me feel sorry for the backwards circus freak that ruined my life AND STOLE MY BOYFRIEND FROM ME

Ben: Audrey I wasn’t yours to be stolen from. And I broke up with you.

Audrey: because it tricked you. She showed me the book but she probably ripped the pages out herself

Mal: pages that were burned/see yourself now returned

(Nothing happens)

Mal: see. I can’t summon something. Or create something. That doesn’t already or no longer exist. And my mother was very clear. No one could ever love me.

Ben: your mother was wrong.

Audrey: nah. She was right. Villains are incapable of being loving or being loved.

Jay: choose you next words very. Very. Carefully. “Princess”

Audrey: exactly. I’m the princess. That’s the evil witch. Who must be destroyed. Bibbidi bobbidi boo

(A bright pink light zaps its way to Mal. She flinches. Her own magic constructs a shield that deflects the light. It ricochets around the room sending people scattered. And then fly’s our of a stained glass window. Directly at the barrier)

(On the island)

Jafar: what was that?

Maleficent: freedom. Fare thee well. I will come back for you. Maybe. Maybe not

(Purple smoke envelopes her and she disappears. Back in the cathedral the lights are extinguished and the smoke reforms into Maleficent who immediately freezes the adults in the room)

Mal: mother

Evie: like I said. We’re fucked.

Maleficent: well. Well. Quite a glittering assemblage king Adam. The nobility. The gentry. And. Oh. How quaint. (Looking straight at Audrey). Even the rabble

(Mal gets between her mother and the princess)

Maleficent: now don’t be stupid child. Because I will thoroughly enjoy how this ends either way

Mal: I won’t let you hurt her. Or any of my friends

Audrey: I’m not your friend I hate you

Carlos: Audrey. I’m literally begging you. Quit while you’re ahead. BEFORE you’re just a head.

Mal: Jay?

Jay: on it.

(In a flash of gold smoke Ben Lonnie Doug Carlos Chad and Audrey vanish)

(In the basement)

(Chad’s in the foetal position rabbiting on about war movies. Ben’s trying to kick the door open. Audrey’s ranting about how she knew she was right. Carlos stalks up to her and slaps her around the face so hard she falls to the floor)

Carlos (in a very low very angry growl): listen here you Carmelita Spats wannabe my friends are trying to save your sorry ass so the least you could do is shut the fuck up

(Audrey cries louder. Carlos almost kicks her in the face but Doug and Lonnie stop him)

Doug: C no

Lonnie: she’s not worth it.

Carlos: I know but it’d make me feel a helluva lot better

Audrey: see my friends. My friends always help. Doug

Doug: no.

Audrey: what?

Doug: heh heh. I’m not your friend Audrey. According to you I’m just an unimportant half breed that’s not fit to breathe the same air as you let alone look or talk to you. There’s no use in you trying to expunge that now

Audrey: Lonnie! Lonnie’s my friend.

Lonnie: no, Audrey. We’re not friends. The only reason anyone ever hangs around you is because they like Ben. So no. We’re not friends

Audrey: Ben please

Ben: Audrey please be quiet I’m trying to open this room I can help my girlfriend and her family

Carlos: face it. You’re not as big a hotshot as you think you are. All you are is a stupid stuck up little brat who needs to learn how to shut her mouth

(Back upstairs)

Maleficent: come on child. Give me the wand

Mal: no.

Maleficent (eyes starting to glow): give me. The wand

Mal: no

Maleficent (trying a different approach): Mal h h honey. Remember this is for us

Mal: no it’s not. It’s for you. You want this. And it is not my job to make you feel better. And it’s not my fault you were there. Yes Leah Stefan and Hubert should have invited you. But did you have to curse an innocent baby?

Maleficent: that “baby” as you put it ensured myself insomnia for 16 years

Mal: because you can’t let things go. It has to be your way or they die

Evie (under her breath): like we’re about to

Maleficent: correct. But first. Let me just. Break this down for you. You need me my dear. I am the only one who will ever love you. And you my darling little princess. Just think of what your mother will say when she finds out you couldn’t land a prince and instead settled for a subhuman replacement. As for you oh handsome one. What will happen to the boy when you’re in lamp and can no longer help him?

(Jay lunges at her)

Mal and Evie: Jay no!

Evie: don’t give her an edge

(Maleficent has spotted Jane cowering behind her immobilised mother)

Maleficent: ooh. Hello dear. Tell me. Do you want to give me the wand? I bet you do. Oh I can see you’re scared. But don’t worry. I won’t harm you. I can tell my daughter is fond of you. That’s why I’ll let her destroy you herself

(Just then Carlos Doug Lonnie and ben come burying out of the basement followed by chad and Audrey who hightail to the exit. Maleficent grabs Audrey and lifts her up by the neck)

Maleficent: before I kill you and you’re little band of ragamuffins I think I shall finish what I started all those years ago. Watch Leah as I force the breath out of your precious granddaughter

(Mal’s eyes glow bright green. The wind picks up)

Mal: LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE

(The stained glass windows explode and surround Maleficent forming a pillar. Jay Carlos Evie Jane Ben Doug and Lonnie gather around Mal. Jay Evie and Jane’s eyes start glowing. Ben Carlos Doug and lonnies gloved hands start shining brightly in the colours of Mal jay Evie and Jane respectively)

Mal: the strength of evil is good as none/when it stands before eight hearts as one

(The others join in. The stained glass pillar gets smaller trapping Maleficent. This continues as the dark fairy tries to free herself but to no avail.)

Maleficent: YOU NEED ME. WITHOUT MY GUIDANCE YOU ARE NOTHING

Mal: no. You’re nothing

(The core eight say the incantation one more time and the stained glass pillar explodes. The ones with magic shield the ones without. The dust settles leaving nothing a...)

Carlos: gecko? What the hell?

Evie: thought she’d look like Audrey’s personality

Mal: you know what indigo?

Evie: what magenta. What is it now

Audrey: I’m sorry.

(Everyone turns to look at her)

Audrey: I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I

Evie: tried to get us in trouble repeatedly? Tried to get us sent back to a hellhole slag heap be because you felt oppressed by our existence? Sicced your gormless idiot of a philandering bastard boyfriend on my best friend? (Sarcastically) why would you ever want to apologise for that?

Mal: indigo. Hush. Audrey you know I’m gonna have get you back eventually right?

Audrey: mhmm (She flinches bracing herself for an onslaught)

Mal: not now. It has to be when you least expect it. Jane dear. What say you and I unfreeze the old folks huh?

Jane: ok

Maljane: Bibbidi bobbidi boo

(The adults all unfreeze)

Verna: oh my stars. What. What happened

Audrey: I happened. I was an idiot and a bully and a fool and

Evie (“helpfully”): a bitch

Audrey: yes. I accidentally released Maleficent from the isle. She almost killed me. Well. Everyone in fact. But Mal jay Carlos Ben Lonnie Doug Jane and the one who’s still looking at me like she’s measuring my coffin saved all of us

Leah: I want that child expelled. If it weren’t for her and her kind this would never have happened. You have only yourself to blame for all of this Benjamin. Because of you my granddaughter was humiliated assaulted and almost killed.

Audrey: GRANDMA FOR FUCKS SAKE SHUT UP

(Everyone looks shocked)

Evie: well well well. The bitch isn’t all bark after all.

Audrey: This was my fault. I grabbed the wand. Not Mal. This is on me

Leah: you wouldn’t have done what you did if those things hadn’t drove you to it

Audrey (steely voiced): Mal Jay Carlos and Evie and Ben Lonnie Jane and Doug saved everybody. Including you

Elsa: I believe that you owe Mal and her friends an apology Leah

Lonnie: gecko on the loose

(Maleficent is scurrying towards her sceptre. Mal gets there before her and tosses it over to Jay. She kneels down in front of her mother)

Mal: I don’t need you. I never did. I have what I need. And they are all better then you. And you. You were a piss poor excuse of a mother. And I hope you rot. (She stands up, sniffling hard). Jay can I have the sceptre please? Thank you

(She snaps it in half over her knee. The power surge reignites the candles in the cathedral)

Mal: fairy godmother. If you can could you take this. In the wrong hands it could be very dangerous. And I am the wrong hands. It doesn’t matter where it goes. So long as it’s nowhere near me. And thistle if you can (she hands Verna the spell book)

Fairy godmother: only if you’re sure dear

Elsa (having vivid flashbacks to her childhood but not wanting to influence Mal): it’s your choice sweetheart. Is this what you really want?

Mal: yes. I don’t need magic. I mostly used it as defence. For Carlos and myself. So there’s not really any need to use it any more

Ben: you always have the option to go back on this.

Mal (cheerfully): I know. But right now I’m thinking of seeing my boyfriend crowned king of the world

(She walks up to Ben as she says this and shifts the crowns position on his head to a jauntier angle. Then whips around and slaps Audrey around the face so hard something shiny fall out of her mouth. Mal bends down and helps her back up)

Mal (tentatively): I did say I’d get you back

Audrey (chuckling): yeah. Yeah you did. Square

Mal: square.

Carlos: why?

(Everyone turns to look at him)

Mal: yeah hon?

Carlos: why the gecko. Why not you know. Dust

Jane: um. I think I know.

Mal: yeah?

Jane: the love in her heart. She um shrank to uh. Mother

Fairy Godmother: it’s ok. Mal dear. You and your friends defeated Maleficent with your own image goodness. And it shrank her down to the size of the live in her heart.

Mal: ah. Right. So. She does love me. Just not enough to not attempt to murder me and my family. Great(.) Marvellous in fact. Freaking copacetic

Guard: lady Mal. What shall we do with the reptile?

Mal: Just. Take her away. Get her out of my sight. I don’t want to see her. Ever.

Ben (pulling her into a hug): are you ok?

Mal: I will be. Eventually. But today isn’t about me. It’s about you. And the glorious path your reign will lead us down

Ben (laughing): is that sass?

Mal: maybe a little bit

Ben (appreciatively): I kinda like that

Mal: I know you do

Carlos (aside to Jay): are they gonna kiss

Jay: maybe. Got a problem with that?

Carlos: well she is my mother. Oh so not them

(Evie’s just dipped Doug and planted a very long kiss on him)

Evie: well. Can you blame me. I mean look at him

(Doug looks a tad punch drunk. He hiccups once. Laughs. Then passes out)

Evie: I’ll take that as a good sign

Bal, jaylos and janelonnie: yeah

Elsa: is he ok?

Doug: I’m good. I’m really. I’m fine. Could uh. Could someone help me up please?

Ben: sure buddy

(After Ben helps Doug Elsa approaches the group£

Elsa: you makesty. I can tidy up here. You run along and celebrate your new position

(Mal glomps her into a tight hug before Ben can thank her)

Mal: thank you

Elsa (hugging her back): you’re very welcome my girl

(Mal pulls away and leaves with the others. Elsa turns to the adults)

Elsa: lets get this place clean.

(This is when “shine your way” starts)

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [16] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

“I can’t speak to her.” Roger’s got his head on a bar in a pub that’s not Ash’s.

“Can I go back to pretending I don’t know what was going on?” Brian asks, taking a long sip of his drink and gazing out at the crowd. It’s been over a week since Ash had stayed over, and they hadn’t seen her since. It’s not like she’d even asked about him, or made a move to contact him; sometimes they go a full fortnight before seeing one another, but Roger’s been fretting for almost eight days internally, and for the past twenty minutes externally, since he’d finished his first drink.

“She said she loves me.” Roger groaned, lifting his head to weakly order another pint. 

“From what you’ve told me, she wasn’t even fully conscious; it’s not like it counts.” Brian had never seen Roger downright distressed like this, it would be funny if it wasn’t bordering on annoying.

“No, that means she was extra honest,” Roger groaned, downing half his beer in on go, to which Brian could only roll his eyes.

“Or she was still asleep and thought you were Jack Nicholson.” After a beat, Brian goes back to watching Roger brood over his glass. “Boo hoo, Rog,” he shoved the blonde lightly, to which Roger just leveled a glare at him, “a girl you’ve been seeing for months maybe has feelings for you. It’s not like it’s the end of the world.”

“It’s only been since I broke up with Kristin,” he’s adamant about that and Brian lets him have it, for now. In retrospect, he feels like an idiot for not seeing it sooner; Brian’s not sure when it started, but it’s definitely a lot longer than Roger’s willing to admit. “And it doesn’t mean nothing, but it also... it’s never meant something. Like it’s something but it’s not something. It’s just fucking around and having fun.” And Roger swivels on the bar stool, joining Brian in looking out over the crowd, before they spot Freddie crashing through the door, making a beeline for them once he’d spotted them.

“Alright, what did I miss?” Freddie asked, though the other two were quiet as he ordered a beer. Before either could get a word in edgewise, Freddie props his chin on his hand on the bar, and announces; “Roger you look like shit, what’s wrong?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s in love with Ash, and he thinks she’s in love with him.” Brian says blithely, and Freddie nods with understanding as Roger tells them to both sod off, and he stalks through to join the crowd on the dance floor. “She said she loved him in her sleep.” Brian explains, taking the chair Roger just freed, sliding into place beside Freddie.

“I’ve never seen him this worked up about someone before.” Freddie admitted, and Brian nodded in agreement, the two of them barely able to see his blonde hair for the crowd, and they lost sight of him soon enough.

“What do you think? Has Ash said anything?” Brian’s gaze slides to Freddie’s who just rolls his eyes.

“I think my dear Ash has never in her life loved a man who’s deserved it,” Freddie mused, though his lips twisted into a smirk, “that’s not to say she’s a saint, far from it, but compared to the others, Roger is a breath of fresh air.” 

“Isn’t that a sad thought.” Brian said faintly, before heaving a sigh. “Well, I know we haven’t been here long,” he got to his feet, finishing off his drink and looking around for his housemate, “but if I don’t drag him home he’s going to do something stupid in his current state.”

“Like that pretty, brunette thing over there?” Freddie asks, pointing to where Roger’s already got his lips on a wavy-haired brunette at the side of the room. Freddie’s pretty sure he sees Brian’s soul leave his body for a moment, and watches everything play out like a terrible Shakespearean comedy for which he was the only audience member.

“He’s a danger to himself.” Brian takes Freddie’s drink from his hands and takes a long gulp before passing it back, though Freddie doesn’t seem likely to complain.

“He seems rather fine,” Freddie watches Roger go in for a hickey on the girl with a morbid, voyeuristic interest, taking another sip of his drink, “and you know he and Ash aren’t technically exclusive.” 

“Yeah but there’s three options here; Ash finds out and gets pissed and I have to hear about it because apparently now that I know I’m all in on this disaster,” Brian lists on his fingers with a theatricality Freddie had rarely seen from him before, though he’d rarely seen Brian this exasperated before, so perhaps it was merely that, “two, Ash isn’t pissed, sleeps with someone else, and Roger gets pissed because he’s in love with her-”

“Which is unfair, what a tremendous double standard.”

“Yes, we all know Roger’s a hypocrite.” Brian sighed, casting a glance over his shoulder at Roger, before turning back to Freddie.

“And three?” The other man prompted, and Brian picked up his empty pint glass.

“I kill him with this glass because I’m sick of his sulking.” He says bluntly, and Freddie’s all for the third option, but he begrudgingly helps pull Roger away, to which the drummer complains the whole time.

“Where are we going?” Roger demands to know when they head in the opposite direction of his apartment, a sentiment that Brian mirrors, though he doesn’t seem inclined to question Freddie’s direction outright. Freddie always had a plan. The man in question wrapped an arm around Roger’s shoulders.

“You’re going to confront your problems, Rog.” He sounds so decisive, as if it wasn’t a plan he’d come up with as they were leaving the bar, and Roger tries to scramble his way out of it, but Brian’s fed up enough with Roger’s complete inability to do anything but run from his problems that he’s willing to take Roger’s arm in an almost iron grip.

“It’ll do both of us a world of good.” Brian tells him as Roger glowers at his housemate.

“You don’t get to decide what’s good for me; what’s good for me was that girl at the bar, she smelled nice and was about three minutes away from banging me in that bathroom.” Roger snarled, wrenching himself out of their grips, though he didn’t run this time, crossing his arms over his chest as he walked with them.

“Rog, we’re not gonna let you ruin a good-” But Brian’s gentle sigh was cut off by more of the blonde blustering.

“That’s so presumptuous!” He stopped in his tracks, scowling between both of his band-mates. “You’re both wankers, selfish fucking wankers. This is kidnapping.” He snaps.

“Fine; if you want to leave, we’re not stopping you.” Freddie offers, gesturing freely at the path behind them. “We’re just trying to help.” 

Roger stomped the entire walk to Ash’s apartment. 

“What the fuck, guys.” She opens the door with her hair in a messy bun, wearing a pair of sweat pants and a ratty, oversized Beatles shirt. “How did you get in?” 

“Your RA let us in; sorry for the interruption, just had to deliver this idiot.” Brian gave Roger’s shoulder a nudge. Roger is looking at anything but Ash. His latest drink had hit him about the same time as he got to her block, and now that he can smell the vanilla candle she likes to burn in her room just beyond her, he just wants to curl up and go to sleep under her duvet. Or fuck her. He’s not quite sure.

“Can I return to sender?” She asks without hesitation, and Roger rolls his eyes. Freddie shoves him forward.

“No.” 

Ash doesn’t move, just frowns as Roger stumbles into her space, and she’s automatically got a hand on his chest to steady him. Roger doesn’t seem like he’s there completely of his own free will, but he doesn’t move away from her, even as both Brian and Freddie leave, muttering something about him being ‘her problem now’.

“Care to explain?” She asked, gently walking him backwards and closing her door behind herself. The two of them make their way to the common area, and Roger sits up on the kitchen counter as Ash pours him a glass of water.

“Not really.” He said, sipping the water loudly and swinging his legs so his heels kick the cupboards below. Ash looks like the very sight of him exhausts her, but she rests her hands on her thighs, pressing herself against his legs to still them. “We can fuck whoever we want, Ash.” He says, seriously, and he sees the exact moment she realised the reason for his forced meeting, and he watched her expression fall.

“Yeah of course.” She agrees, crestfallen expression turning quickly to faux apathy. “Did you have fun?” But her heart wasn’t in it.

“They pulled me away, brought me here before anything really happened.” He huffed, taking another long sip. Ash stepped away, yawning loudly and sinking into a chair at the dining table. After a beat, Roger hums thoughtfully. “Ash, what do I mean to you?” And it’s so nonchalant it actually hurts Ash a little.

“I think that’s a really shitty thing to ask right now.” Her answer is automatic, she can’t look at him. “And I think you’re drunk.” 

“Ash...” It does register in his mind that he’s said the wrong thing, and it breaks his heart to see her too tired to repress her emotions like she usually would in this situation. Perhaps she assumes he won’t even remember this tomorrow. “Ash, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Yeah, I know.” She says softly. “You’re always sorry, and I’m always sorry, and there’s always someone else that feels like a mistake, even though we don’t technically need to apologise.” Shaking her head, she sighs deeply. “This isn’t the time for this conversation.” She admits, and standing, she takes his hand. “Come to bed, Rog.” 

When they’re back in her room, she pulls off her sweat pants and offers them to him without even thinking about it, and he’s quiet, forlorn when he takes them, changing into the borrowed pyjamas. Ash is already tucked into bed when he turns back, back to him, pressed as close to the wall as she can get with her head pillowed on her hand, not even attempting to co-opt some of the pillow for herself. There’s sewing equipment out, obviously still in use in the corner of her room, a blouse half sewn and still in the machine where it was left when it’s creation had been interrupted by a knock at the door.

When he slides into bed beside her, reaches out to rest a hand on her shoulder - an apology? a reassurance? just a need for human contact? - she shrugs him off, murmurs a quiet ‘don’t’. 

“I panicked.” They’re back to back, and the bedside lamp has been turned off. Roger isn’t even sure if Ash is still awake. He speaks into the silence, made honest by the hour and his inebriation. “You told me you loved me and I panicked.”

“Roger... I never said that.” Ash’s voice was confused in the darkness, and Roger feels like his whole world has fallen out from under him. He’s spent over a week considering whether or not she’d remember; if it had been real, whether she’d really meant it, but he’s never quite sure which answer would hurt more.

“You... were mostly asleep.” He admits, and he can feel the way Ash sighs heavily, the shift of her back against his as she tries not to hear it.

“Wow, imagine what kinky shit you and the girl from the bar would have gotten up to if I’d meant it.” She just sounds tired, as though she was trying to end the conversation, as though she hadn’t just shattered Roger’s heart. After a beat, she laughed humorlessly. “What are we doing, Roger?”

“I think Brian’s right.” And his words are enough to startle a weak laugh from Ash. “I want this to be about more than sex, I think.”

“You’re drunk and panicking; don’t worry, I’ll still work with the band if this goes south.” Ash says. Roger won’t take that, can’t let himself fall into the trap of panicking like he’d already fallen into that night. Turning, Roger presses his lips to the back of her neck, and Ash doesn’t like to think about how good it makes her feel.

“I’m sorry-” He tries, but she cuts him off.

“I heard you the first time.” Voice terse, she crosses her arms awkwardly over her chest. “Roger the idea of being with you fucking terrifies me.” She admits, raw and honest, glad he can’t see how conflicted she was. “You were so worried that I was in love with you that you almost slept with someone else, and for what? Were you worried you were losing control of your life? Didn’t want to be tied down?” Roger’s got an arm on her shoulder, rubbing comfortingly as she speaks, and he can feel her shaking.

“I know I’m not a saint, okay, love?” Roger admits, and Ash takes a long moment to consider his words, leaning back a little into his touch, before answering.

“Neither of us are, Roger, and that’s why what we have is so good right now.” Her voice has softened, and Roger stays quiet. “We can talk about it tomorrow.” She says gently, before reaching to link her fingers with his where he’s got his hand on her shoulder. She pulls him closer, and Roger makes a low hum, pressing a quick kiss to her shoulder.

When the morning comes, things are quiet and golden. Neither one knows what to say to the other, but Ash still gets him a cup of tea in the morning, and when he sees the cup with the little cat face on it, Roger feels something tighten in his chest. 

“Let’s try this, please.” He asks, expression sincere when he looks at where Ash is tucking herself back into bed, pressing herself against his side. The look she gives him is confused, and then it blooms into something hopeful. “I’m not fucking around here, I mean it.”

When she kisses him, her hand is warm where it had been holding her teacup, and she’s smiling against her lips. There’s a tension in her shoulders, and he can’t stop playing her words back over again in his head, ‘the idea of being with you fucking terrifies me’ and it’s clear that feeling hasn’t vanished over night.

But she’s willing to try.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee @smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues @banhbao329@fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile @cardybenhardy @snacfu @perriwiinkle @the-strange-fan-girl @finite-incantatem-7 @tapetayloe @florencewelchmybiggod

[eurreekaa]

Make it stop pls

I was talking to an old friend on snapchat. And she asked, ‘who’s your best friend?’ I just replied ‘u 😉’ as a joke, then I said, ‘I don’t need a best friend as long as I have myself and anyways, they’re too high maintenance.’

Then she started bringing up the problem I mentioned in the earlier blogs and she brought up the drama me and her went through.

We kinda made up after that, it was forgotten, but I guess I ‘ruined’ her life so much she just couldn’t forget.

Basically, I don’t remember much of it, but she was worried about some girls hating her from shitty things she’s done to them, and I said that if they hate her for doing those things, just apologise. But no, instead of that, she went and told them that I said that they hate her and they never want to see her again etc.

Then she has the audacity to come to me now and say, ‘what u did to me was so shitty and your such a bitch, I’m not gonna lie to u, you were so mean, whatever is happening to you now is karma for what you’ve done to me.’

Bitch who tf do u think u are? You’re the one in wrong here for ratting me out on claims I never even claimed. Yes, I said they hate you but bitch I was supporting your opinion like, ‘if you think they hate you, apologise.’ And when I told them that you were lying about the things I said, they believed me, and avoided you more but soon saw u as a victim and accepted you out of pity.

What did I do exactly? I did nothing but advise her to apologise for shitty things she did but she twisted my words and made everyone question me as a friend. Anyways, I just played along and said I’m sorry for whatever I did. (It was a dumb move, I just didn’t want to deal with the pain in the ass she brings along)

And the friend who was sitting with me when we talked about it, like people not liking her and stuff (who was Chelsea, when we were still friends lol), backed me up which is not wrong when it’s the truth of what happened!! She even said, ‘you and ur friends gave me the silent treatment and roasted me and my sister and you guys ruined my life.’

There was no silent treatment. It was just awkward and I was annoyed that you wanted everyone to hate me for some reason.

Even her saying, ‘I just can’t be your friend again,’ (saying that after we’ve been talking normally all summer), ‘you’ve made me go through so much I just can’t go back to that anymore,’ well boo hoo.

I’m sorry but honey right after this drama happened, those girls began to be nice to you because yourself look like a victim.

So her lies, based on me, worked by making her friends. Yet they still talk shit about her, and more than half of them still didn’t trust her even after previous drama because she still is doing shitty things. But I’m not interfering again.

[yourjughead]

Legacy pt.5

Pairings: Jugheadxreader

A/N: Don't worry, Part 4 isn't the last we'll hear of the Riverdale gang. I'm kind of thinking of putting smut into the next part but I'm not sure if I'd like to keep this fic "clean" or not. Let me know. I'm sorry if this part ruins the series, always afraid of that happening.

-------------------------------------

Jughead POV

I had to stay in the hospital for the week. My social worker was less than impressed to find out I had been shot in the absence of my foster parents…as any good social worker should. I insisted I return to school Friday, I needed to start to fix the mess...and misunderstandings.

My arm was in a sling and if I didn't move my shoulder too much...or think about it...or breath too much it didn't hurt too badly.

I prepared for the worst as I walked through the cop checkpoint. I cautiously walked to my locker and after a bit of a struggle, managed to exchange my books for the ones I needed.

“Jones!” I jumped at the sound of Sweet Peas voice. I don't know what yn has told them but this could go badly.

“umm h-hey Sweet Pea what's up?”

“Nothing nothing...EXCEPT MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!” I swear, I was shot this weekend and lived but I have never felt so relieved in my life then I did seeing that small giant smile at me.

“Oh Happy birthday”

“Yeah! We're having a thing at the the Warehouse, you know it right?” I nodded.

“Well yeah we're having it there, all the Juniors are coming so don't be afraid to show your face-” I was petrified ”-and trust me if the Ghoulies even think about rocking around, yn won't be firing the gun at the roof this time” he laughed but I didn't find it very funny. “Some seniors will also come I'd say” he continued as we started strolling towards the common room, somewhere I hadn't ventured much.

“So how's yn?” I try to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Yn? She's yn” that's extremely unhelpful. Although since I'm still walking and breathing and from the lack of Sweet Peas foot in my ass, it seems to me that she hasn't said anything to anyone. No sight of YN yet, not unusual.

“Hey Toni have you seen yn?”

“Nope, haven't seen her since you were in hospital actually... didn't even show up to meetings all week, not very like her but I'm sure she's super busy getting info out of people”

“What do you mean?”

“Well she's going to be the next full leader, you didn't think all she did was watch did you?” She half laughed but I did think that's all she did, that's all any of us Juniors do really. I hadn't thought much about YN being the next leader in the context of Yn being the next leader of what essentially is a criminal organization.

“She almost never does watch anymore, she's needed doing more... important things for the Serpents”

“She did look out with me when I was shot…”

“Yeah she did, she volunteered that night actually, weirdly enough. Who knows she probably had some master plan” I don't understand, we had had a fight that day, was she going to apologise? Was I part of her master plan or was it something else? I can't figure out this girl.

“Coming to the party tonight? I promise it'll be more fun than the last one” she offered but I had had a great time at the last party...yanno, before the attack.

~

The Warehouse’ music could be heard from down  the street. This is some party. I sauntered into the familiar Warehouse and was greeted kindly, well as kindly as they could. I was getting thanks, handshakes and pats on the back from all these people I hadn't seen before, both Junior and Senior members alike. They were all thanking me for saving yn but right now I didn't feel like much of a hero. I was a coward.

I looked around for yn, circling the whole main hall but to not much avail, just received more thanks. It made me feel guilty. Then I saw her and my guilt grew by 100.

She stood on the very same supervising platform above the dancefloor that she had fired her warning shot last time I ventured here. She was beautiful, a queen surveying her kingdom. I have to just go for it, there's only one stairs up and down and I don't think she's mad enough to leap from that height. I'll have to just corner her in while receiving privacy from the height of the panel.

“Yn!” She jumped at the sound of my voice, she had clearly been in deep thought as normally no one could sneak up on her.

“You shouldn't be here Bonehead” she faced back to scanning the room.

“Well I mean you shouldn't be hanging around on condemned rickety platforms but we all have our vices.

“Is yours being a cheating liar?” yup, deserved that one. Her eyes stayed fixed on the happenings below us.

“I wasn't cheating or lying”

“Really? Your blonde bitch bombshell of a girlfriend begs to differ”

“Okay well firstly Betty isn't a bitch she just has a lot going on in her family right now and-”

“Oh nooo the Northsider is having family problems boo-freaking-hoo, Serpents write the book on family problems.”

“Fair point...and she's not my girlfriend well I mean not really”

“Just go away Jughead, I'm not in the mood”

“Ah! You called me Jughead! I'm breaking you down!” she rolled her eyes.

“Yn” I moved closer and she retreated slightly.

“Please, hear me out and if you don't like it then I'll throw myself off the platform” she sighed and I took that as permission to start.

“Okay so before I was shipped to the Southside I was kind of sort of half with Betty half not. It was complicated to say the least” she exhaled loudly, okay so I need to speed it up.

“But she couldn't get over her thing for Archie. you know Archie, tall, ginger, almost got stabbed by Sweet Pea at my bedside, yeah him, sound as the ground normally, you might like him” she exhaled again, really not up for small talk tomorrow day okay...

“Anyway that was always a barrier for us and I always liked her more than she liked me and it just wasn't right. And then when I came here I realised what actually liking someone like that was because I met you and I even like you more than I could ever like her and-” she turned to look at me while I took a breath before continuing. I have to shift the topic from my feelings for her my courage is suddenly fleeting…

“-but back to betty, she and I were kind of a will they won't they and trust me, we won't, ever especially after I've met you and the way she treated my new family, that's you guys by the way and also she just could never get over the serpent in me and that just didn't...didn't go with me. I think she only introduced herself as my girlfriend to establish an edge over you because you two weren't exactly ready to be braiding each other's hair and also Betty has this habit of making people her projects and i think she always saw me as that where as you just saw me for who I was” I was half out of breath by the time I sped through my explanation.

“Done?” I laughed lightly at yns reaction, a very her response to which I nodded.

“Yn, please believe me when I say I'm not that type of guy, I'm sorry” she took a deep breath before nodding slowly.

“You forgive me!”

“No, I'm going to try and start to forgive you...no promises” I didn't even think, I just hauled her into a hug. She half accepted it before breaking from me.

“i just have to ask you one thing yn...why didn't you tell everyone what happened?”

“It was business between us and besides...if Sweet Pes found out he'd bury you under the Warehouse” she smiled at me. Bliss.

“I'm glad you didnt then” I laughed

“I'm also glad you're going to try to forgive me yn, it means so much”

“Dad”

“Woah okay interesting kink but whatever you're into” I laughed before stopping at the sight of her widening eyes.

“Jughead Jones” I turned swiftly to the sound of the brash new voice. A man, a towering man, stood behind me. Oh God.

“Umm y-yes I'm him, nice to meet you” I offered a hand he did not take.

“So, you get shot for my daughter and you didn't think that I’d find out?” He chuckles lightly but still someone threateningly when I do not respond to his question. My face tensed slightly.

“Take it easy Jones” he pushed me playfully into my wounded shoulder causing me to have to stifle shearing pain. I felt yn step closer behind me and put a hand to my lower back.

“I appreciate your sacrifice for my daughter, it has not gone unnoticed. Yn, home by 11pm, work to be done after 1am. Enjoy your night”

"Yes sir Ill be home" is all she said to him before he snaked ((puns)) back down the stairs.

Well I can see where yn. gets her enigmatic style from.  She took her hand from my back again.

“Well isn't he fun at parties?”

“I'd be careful making fun of him, some people won't take too kindly to it Legacy”

“I'm so sick of being called that”

“Aw, boohoo, was the silver platter not shiny enough?” I rolled my eyes at her.

“How do I make them stop calling me Legacy, they don't call you a legacy?”

“Well yeah because a) I would break their neck b) I'm their leader not their legacy and c) I've proved myself many many times beyond that title”

“I mean I was shot what more do they want”

“You could get into a vicious knife fight where only one is left standing” she looked at me again and her faint scar that caught my eye the first day I saw her seemed to gleam back into center stage.

“Is that what you did…” caution dripping from my words.

“Maybe, Maybe not. I'm not going to tell you either way because it takes the fun out of it” her laugh was one I wanted to hear on repeat for the rest of my life.

“Listen, I am so thankful for what you did-” her hand caught my arm lightly, my skin almost lit to life “-and even though I'm their next leader and that was a sacrifice...it kind of only proves your loyalty to me and right now I'm not the overall leader so it means almost nothing. Well I mean I'm sure my dad is glad his daughter isn't dead but in terms of the gang, it doesn't hold as much weight as you think… to the seniors that is” she dropped my arm and the brisk air returned to my skin.

“What can I do then?”

“You could do the Initiation” she burst into laughter as if it was the most hilarious thing ever said.

“I'll do it” her face dropped completely. I'm ready

------------------------------

Feedback is appreciated kittens!

Much love Xx

Tagged: @sunshine51879 @mrs-sarcasmm @deanilostmyshoe @goshdarnitthatsalongname

[kavuyi]

Dear Black Men: The Lies We Tell https://ift.tt/2Om6k7n

To the women scared to open up. To the people who face this, you always have a friend. A friend of the blog opened up about her experience. She wanted the blog to tell the world what she went through. What she still goes through on the inside. The lies behind her smile.

“I would never let a man beat me up.” Tasila says passionately. “Never! I swear I would hit him back with everything I have.”

“Yeah right. A man is stronger than you in most cases. How will you exact revenge?” Lizzie asks.

“I would find a way. These men are foolish I tell you. He hits you once, he apologises right after. Chances are he will either hit you again or he will mistreat you because you chose to forgive him.” Tasila responds. “Me? I’ll find a way to beat him up after I forgive him.”

“What sort of forgiveness is that then?” Lizzie asks.

“The type that gets revenge.” Tasila smiles as she lifts her glass of dry red wine to her lips. “Let a man touch you roughly once and that’s it. All is lost. Beat that man up.”

“That’s you saying that because you’ve never been in that situation before.” Lizzie says .

“And I never want to.” Tasila responds.

“You’re just talking.” Lizzie responds.

“No. You’re used to nonsense. I don’t want that treatment period.” Tasila says. “Never ever. Girl I will kill him. That’s a fact.”

“Right. Get there and tell me how it goes.”

“You’ve gotten so used to being beaten you don’t even know how to leave anymore.”

“He’s changed.”

“Has he? For how long this time? Two months?”

“He’s different. He’s better.”

“You’re funny. Beat that man up. Teach him you’re strong too.”

“Easier said than done.” Lizzie responds.

Easier said than done. That’s the perfect response.

How did we get here?

I look at Lizzie and turn to look at Tasila, waiting for one of them to crack and respond so that the argument can continue and I can pretend to be neutral and not pick a side. I do not have the time nor the zeal to be in the middle of the argument. Not now.

Not ever.

Especially after I went through my own version of “beaten up.” A secret I’m trying to keep inside and failing. My eyes fill up with unshed tears and I look away from the ladies, my eyes wandering to the dark blue swimming pool in front of me. The dark pool reminds me of the dark bruises I had around my neck; reminding me of the way his hands held strong around my neck like his life depended on it. The way his hands hit my face as if he hadn’t promised to protect me from danger just the week before.

I take a deep breath and push my tears back. This isn’t the time to be remembering his hands strangling the breath out of me. My friends don’t need to know this. Not yet. Tasila would lose it and Lizzie would give me the same look of pity I’ve given her for years.

I can’t tell them yet.

Not before I understand why I deserved that treatment.

What happened to me? I remember the times I was as passionate as Tasila about a man laying his hands on me. I remember the times I stood my ground and declared I would never let a man touch me or abuse me. I remember the times I swore to beat up a man who would have the guts to lay a hand on me. I was ready to fight. Ready to break hands to defend my rights as a woman.

Until the worst happened to me.

And now I’m like Lizzie, the all accepting woman. The one who is afraid of men and their hands. Afraid of what might happen if I ask a simple question. After all a simple question is what got me in the predicament in the first place.

A simple question.

Why was I so inquisitive about what he was up to? Why did I want to know about secrets he kept from me? I should have seen the signs. It happened so quick. One minute he was standing in one corner of the living room and the next he had a thrown an iron onto the floor breaking it into pieces. It happened so fast I couldn’t react. His temper had his hand around my neck squeezing the life out of me as his other hand slapped me over and over again.

My hand squeezes the glass filled with whiskey tightly. Any more strength and the glass will break; I take a deep breath. What good is remembering the pain? I need to think about again.

How did the ladies get to this argument? Lizzie praising her man on his promotion and Tasila asking if his promotion meant no more abuse. I don’t want to be a part of their argument. I don’t want them to force me to choose a side. I’m afraid if I do then I will have to explain why my eyes can’t hold back tears.

I will have to explain why I am a weaker version of myself. Gone is the woman who fought for herself, the one who stood up and hit back for every slap she received. A scared dummy replaced her.

A scared dummy that is me.

I lift my left hand and touch my cheek. Rubbing it gently as if to massage the pain of slapped cheek away. My eyes blur with unshed tears as the image of his hand around my neck take hold. I do not fight the feeling. I let it take over me like it always does when I’m alone. The image of his hand slapping my face so many times I lost count.

I am a weak woman.

“You’re saying that because you don’t want to fight him anymore.” Tasila starts.

“What do you mean?” Lizzie asks.

“You know what I mean. How many times has that man of yours laid his hands on you? You know it’s uncountable times.”

“I told you he stopped. He hasn’t done that in months.” Lizzie argues.

“Two months is nothing boo boo. Tell him to stay for the next fifty years without laying a finger on you in an abusive manner.”

“He’s different Tasila. He hasn’t done it for months.”

“Of course he hasn’t. For now.” Tasila argues. “He now knows your friends will find thugs to beat him up. You’ve been his punching bag long enough.”

“He’s changed.” Lizzie responds.

“So you say. We all know they don’t change and there is no ring on the planet that will make him different. Abusers are abusers. Period. Don’t you agree Chichi?” Tasila asks.

“Chichi!” Lizzie says.

I blink and look at her.

“What?” I ask

“Are you alright?” Lizzie asks worriedly. “Your eyes. Are you crying?”

No I’m not great.

“See.” Tasila says. “She’s crying for you.”

I’m crying for all the women who go through this. Those who have chosen to accept this as a part of their life. Women like Lizzie. Women like me. I wish I was home on my bed crying myself to sleep. I smile at Lizzie instead.

“I’m great. I am listening to you two argue about this for the umpteenth time this year.” I respond. “It’s boring. Agree to disagree?”

“I’m doing this because Lizzie here wants to lie to herself that men change.” Tasila responds.

“And maybe they do.” I whisper.

“See!” Lizzie laughs. “Chichi agrees with me. Men can change.”

“Maybe they don’t.” I respond.

“She agrees with me too.” Tasila says. “They can’t change.”

Lizzie shrugs.

“These men will keep hitting you if you let them babe. They never stop. Just because yours chose to listen doesn’t mean they all will.” Tasila argues. “So many women die from physical abuse. And you’re here allowing it to happen to you.”

“I think a person who has never been in love can’t comment on my love life.” Lizzie responds.

“I don’t have to be in love to understand it’s abuse baby girl.”

“Well it’s different now.”

“It’s manipulation.”

“Ladies.” I start. “Calm down. Both of you are right.”

“No.” They respond in unison.

“Both of us can’t be right.” Tasila says. “Being abused is wrong. Being beaten in a relationship is wrong. Especially a man who isn’t married to you. The hell is that nonsense. Let’s no lie to each other and pretend it’s okay. It’s not.”

“We know that. But you keep forgetting it comes down to choice. Women choose to forgive these men and hope for the best.” I argue. “Love is a tricky thing.”

“No.” Tasila shakes her head.

“You’re so headstrong Tasila. So passionate. But you shouldn’t be saying anything if you’ve never been in the situation.” Lizzie argues.

“Lizzie please. Women are scared of being alone in most cases they tolerate the abuse. It’s absolute garbage.”

“Still a choice. It’s a choice.” Lizzie cries.

“The wrong one! And these men are still a part of society ruining perfectly good functioning women.”

Am I ruined? How far has the damage gone? I look at Lizzie, the damage on her body might have faded and disappeared but what about the inside? How is her soul faring? How does she wake up everyday she face the world knowing her man at home destroyed parts of her.

“Society can’t always be perfect.” Lizzie argues.

“You’re right. But we need to stand up and stop letting these men bully us and beat us up every chance they get. No.” Tasila responds. “And why do we get hit by these men? For asking a question? For saying no? For loving ourselves too much?”

That seems to keep Lizzie silent. As if Tasila’s words finally hit a chord. If not Lizzie’s then mine. She’s right. We get hit for the most stupid reasons. What happened to walking away from tempers to cool off? We don’t deserve to be beaten up for loving ourselves more. We don’t deserve it period. What happens after? How does one open up about it? Lizzie has us to help her through. What about those with no one to help or understand?

What about me?

Maybe it’s time I told my best friends about my story. Maybe it’s time I opened up about what happened to me weeks ago. The wounds may have healed perfectly but my heart still cries. I look in the mirror every morning and it takes me over ten minutes to convince myself I don’t have any scars on my neck. That I don’t need foundation to hide the marks of his fingers around my neck.

Telling my best friends would illicit two types of reactions. Tasila would get angry and lose it while Lizzie would understand my predicament. After all she’s been through what I’ve been through. The shame of letting a man lay his hands on you for something stupid. The shame of accepting a woman is weaker than a man.

But would it matter to them? If I told them the truth? They would stand up for me and support me. As my best friends.

What happened to me has been eating me up for weeks. I don’t think I will be able to hold it in anymore.

“Ladies.” I start.

The two women turn to look at me, their argument forgotten for the time being.

The truth will set me free.

“Ladies. I have something to tell you.” I tell them.

“What is it?” Tasila asks.

“Tell us.” Lizzie says.

I look at their faces and take a deep breath. It is now or never. They deserve to know what I am going through.

“I…” I start.

“Hello ladies.”

The rest of my sentence is lost in thought the moment I hear his voice. I feel his hand before it touches my shoulder. Like clockwork. His hand slides from my shoulder caressing the back of my neck gently. Just like the time he… I freeze, in fear or something else I am not certain yet.

“We managed to order the food. It will be coming soon.” Lizzie’s boyfriend says as he sits down next to her.

“You were gone for forty minutes babe.” Lizzie smiles.

“Well this place is packed. Plus I needed to smoke so we made use of the time.” He responds.

Lizzie smiles at her man. All is forgotten. Is that how I am as well? The minute he says something I stop asking questions? Is that what fear has done to me?

“You okay babe?” His voice asks behind me.

I turn and watch him come round and sit down next to me, his arm sliding behind my neck and resting on my shoulder. He leans in close and his lips kiss my cheek gently. Ever the gentleman.

“I missed you.” He whispers. “You alright?”

“Awww that’s so sweet. I swear I need a man as romantic as you Nelson.” Tasila says.

If only she knew.

“I’m blessed to have this special woman.” He laughs, squeezing my shoulder gently.

“You two are so in love. The perfect couple.” Tasila says.

It’s a jab to Lizzie. I know it is. Lizzie knows it too but she chooses to ignore her. The perfect couple to her Tasila one without any kind of abuse and we are the perfect representation of a perfect couple. The lies we tell to our friends.

I turn to look at him. His brown eyes meet mine and for a second I remember why I fell in love with him. The connection and sense of humour. So hard to imagine he is the same man that raised his hand at me once. Once. Only that one time. He was sorry. He promised it would never happen again. He begged me to stay.

I stayed. I turned into the woman I never wanted to be. The accept and stay after abuse kind of woman. I turned into a scared woman, walking on eggshells afraid to ask a question kind of woman. What kind of a life is that. Meanwhile is he talking about being lucky he has me. He is lucky he has me.

“She’s the best thing in my life. My queen.” He smiles.

“I love how you strive hard to protect her from harm. So gentle with her.” Tasila says. “I can’t wait to meet my Mr Right.”

He smiles at her. The perfect smile. He takes my hand in his and kisses my knuckles.

“You’ll find him.” He says.

“I hope so. Soon. I miss being in love with one man.” Tasila laughs.

“Soon enough. He will show up.” He says. “Meeting your soulmate is the best thing that ever happened to me. You’ll will soon experience the type of love we have.”

Tasila smiles. Hope. That’s what he’s giving her. The wrong type of hope. But I don’t call him out on it. I smile with him and let his lips graze my lips. The ever loving couple we are.

“So, Chichi, what did you want to tell us just now?” Lizzie asks excitedly.

“Oh yes. You wanted to tell us something.” Tasila laughs. “Tell us.”

I freeze.

I feel his eyes on me and I shrink away from him instinctively. I don’t want to make him angry. Not tonight.

I smile.

Is this the right time?

My smile widens.

“I wanted to invite you guys to Nelson’s birthday dinner this coming weekend. I hope you’ll all be free to attend.” I laugh.

If only they knew the lies behind my laugh.

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2Om6k7n via IFTTT https://ift.tt/2yhs4Gy July 28, 2019 at 10:51AM

[bforbookslut]

Review: I Believe in a Thing Called Love by Maurene Goo

I have given this book ☆☆☆.  325 pages. It belongs to the Young Adult Contemporary genre. Farrar, Straus & Giroux published it. It was published 30th May 2017. I would recommend it to anyone who loves quirky heroines and light, fluffy contemporary young adult romances. 

The blurb reads: “Desi Lee believes anything is possible if you have a plan. That’s how she became student body president. Varsity soccer star. And it’s how she’ll get into Stanford. But—she’s never had a boyfriend. In fact, she’s a disaster at romance, a clumsy, stammering humiliation magnet whose botched attempts at flirting have become legendary with her friends. So when the hottest human specimen to have ever lived walks into her life one day, Desi decides to tackle her flirting failures with the same zest she’s applied to everything else in her life. She finds guidance in the Korean dramas her father has been obsessively watching for years—where the hapless heroine always seems to end up in the arms of her true love by episode ten. It’s a simple formula, and Desi is a quick study. Armed with her “K Drama Steps to True Love”, Desi goes after the moody, elusive artist Luca Drakos—and boat rescues, love triangles, and staged car crashes ensue. But when the fun and games turn to true feels, Desi finds out that real love is about way more than just drama.”

I apologise that I don’t have any quotes for this review (and therefore, little to no evidence) because I went on vacation with this book and forgot to bring my post it notes.

"But I never lost the belief that you could will something just by sticking to it, by being unwavering. By keeping your eyes on the prize. And by doing that, there was nothing you couldn’t control about your own life.”

Verdict:

I wanted to really love I Believe in a Thing Called Love (IBiaTCL). After all, the MC is a girl of Asian descent (that’s me) who is naturally an overachiever (not exactly me but I can relate), has trouble dating (23 and terribly single with no prospects whatsoever) and loves Korean dramas (also me).

But I’m terribly on the fence with it.

Mostly because Desi Lee is written as such a caricature of K-dramas, ignoring the fact that Korean dramas are incredibly diverse. They have the typical high school romances (that IBiaTCL are most likely based on), crime dramas, soap opera-like dramas, family dramas and the list goes on. Even though Maurene Goo is of Asian descent, IBiaTCL seems to have been written from a very white lens and is as clichéd and predictable as they come.

But, when it comes to the K-dramas of the cheesy, romance variety, clichedness and predictability are at its core. And that’s why IBiaTCL got three stars despite how much I disliked it.

Also, it’s well-written, fast-paced and Desi Lee’s antics are incredibly funny in a what-the-fuck-are-you-doing sort of way. It’s refreshing to see her antics /mostly/ backfire and she has to try and save herself.

In the end, I hoped IBiaTCL had ended differently but ah, well.

[contains spoilers]

The Bad:

This gets a little rant-y.

There’s so much incredulity with Desi Lee that she seems like an almost unrealistic MC. Aside from the ridiculous name (which is attributed to her parents’ love for Desi Arnaz of I Love Lucy fame). 

Desi is an overachiever who knows all there is to about cars, is a sports star, class president and all around know it all.

To top it off, she’s got super dooper good-looking best friends

and boo-hoo, she’s the least good-looking one

and she gets picked on because she’s an annoying know-it-all.

Yet, Desi thinks she’s super friendly and nice and that everyone likes her.

And she’s super obsessive, she stalks her crush and manufactures moments to bump into him and make him fall in love with her.

Let’s also not forget that there’s the oh-so-cliched female rival who hates Desi’s guts because of something Desi didn’t even know she was doing.

Oh, and the cherry on top of the cake, is that the guy falls immediately for her.

On the other hand, I can’t ignore the fact that since IBiaTCL is heavily influenced by K-dramas, these sort of things are pretty much standard in a K-drama plot. The heroine is unrealistically beautiful and everything seems to fall in her lap, yet, she’s branded as the outcast and the weird one, and in Desi’s case, a world-class nerd.

In K-dramas, no matter how ridiculous it sounds, the heroine goes out of her way to manipulate her love interest to fall in love with her. Even in a most recent drama, Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, a university student pretty much sacrifices a lot of her life’s hopes and dreams to make her love interest fall in love with her, lying about who she is and such. Although, I will say that it’s mostly in high school drama romances that this sort of thing happens because romances with adults are less, for lack of a better word, ridiculous.

But it’s just such a cringe-y rendition of how K-dramas can be used to fall in love that makes reading IBiaTCL such a troublesome read.

My big overarching issue with IBiaTCL is how much YA and society has progressed today but instead, this book sort of regresses.

For one, Desi Lee is the smartest, most accomplished girl in school. Instead of using her wits and her smarts, she throws all her intelligence out the window to chase this useless boy who couldn’t even see how much she’s worth. She’s not in the Art Club and immediately, he casts her out. Like, wtv, if you can’t see how smart I am and what a great female president I would be in ten years, bye felicia. But no, Desi Lee sees the hottest thing to cross her path and give her a little attention and she latches on.

Secondly, there’s just so much female rivalry in the book that I’m like, aren’t we already past this? YA can do better, babes. Violet who is in the Art Club, insanely pretty, also Korean and also vying for Luca’s affection is portrayed as an incredibly catty, petty and vindictive woman. And oh, it’s revealed later Violet and Desi used to know each other but Desi moved on and left the church and play school and shit and forgot about Violet which is so fucking normal. She was a kid when it happened, did Violet expect her to remember for the rest of her lives? I avoid people I know in primary school. It’s fucking normal unless you go up to her and introduce yourself????

Not to mention, Desi is contrasted directly against Lucas ex-girlfriend, Emily, who’s like insanely beautiful and model like and ruined Luca’s life by letting him get arrested for her graffiti and then completely discarding him and putting him aside. But Luca gets angry when Emily wants to commemorate their relationship by putting in on social media and says:

“You just reminded me how it’s never been about me, or how you feel about me. How it’s about manipulating your image, what it looks like to everyone else. How I can never tell what’s real.”

Yeah, damn straight. Manipulating. Even Desi realises it.

But oh, yay, congrats because Luca forgives her in the end for being fucking manipulative and almost risking his life. Because she even manufactured a car accident a la Descendants of the Sun but without the precarious cliff-dangling.

But I think the worst part about IBiaTCL is that Desi was ready to give up a life of Stanford and gloriousness for fucking love. She was a definite shoo-in for the off-Ivy League institution, hell, I would give my arm and my leg to study at Stanford but she throws it all away to drive halfway across the country for Luca????? That’s a stupid ass decision right there.

And it’s the most unrealistic thing. Girls, please never ever throw away your hopes and your dreams for some stupid boy who couldn’t even appreciate you for all your smarts and wits in the first place. He’s not worth it. He’s only in it for the sex.

And speaking of useless boys, why couldn’t we have an Asian love interest??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? WHY WAS DESI SO OBSESSED WITH THIS BOY WHOSE HERITAGE IS NOT ASIAN AND I’M NOT GOING TO ASSUME THAT HE’S LATINX??????????????????????????? She can clearly call him Won Bin (who, by the way, is not at all the standard of male handsomeness or even at the top of the desired K-actor list). Why couldn’t Maurene Goo have given us an Asian love interest? This brings to mind the whole why are brown men so obsessed with white women on screen thing and makes me wonder if it’s the same thing here.

The Good:

One of the good things about IBiaTCL is definitely the portrayal of Korean American home life. I am neither and I can’t speak about how authentic or realistic it is but it’s nice to have these sort of experiences in YA. It’s nicer to have them explained and discussed as opposed to Jenny Han’s To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before where Korean American home life is touched on very briefly.

Although, it’s interesting that in both these books with Korean American protagonists, the mother is not present and instead, the father has to raise a daughter. But then again, even in K-dramas, this seems to be a theme.

Another thing I thought was a nice touch is that in writing IBiaTCL, Maurene Goo consulted the moderators of dramabeans.com which I would go as far to say, is the leading source of drama recaps. My sister uses it. My friends use it. I don’t lol mostly because I prefer watching my dramas as opposed to reading them. So, on the topic of K-dramas, this book is in good hands.

In conclusion, K-dramas thrive on being extremely unrealistic, as do romantic comedies. Why should I expect this book to be any different?