#fearing growing old because will i really be better or will i spend my life miserable and psychotic

[deadandwalking]

if teenage years are the best years of my life why am i apologising to the little girl in my head why am i fearing my family falling apart why am i failing to accept my bio family are not good for me why am i worried about grades and jobs and life why am i preparing to mourn my best friend why am i fearing growing old why do i miss what i never had why do i miss people who don’t miss me why am i disgusted by my own urges, wants and needs why do i cry over the things i love the most why do i seek comfort in fiction because reality is against me why do i fear the touch i crave why do i feel i am dying

[ahqkas]

♯ STARMAN ; remus lupin

PAIRING! young!remus lupin x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS! during a snowy holiday at the potter residence, remus finds himself caught between the matchmaking ideas of his two best friends and his growing feelings for you

WARNINGS AND TAGS! fluff, idiots to lovers, kissing, james & sirius play the matchmakers, cursing + lmk

WORDS COUNT! 3k

NOTES! i posted this back on my old blog in 2022 / 2023 so if you’ve read this before no u didn’t❕ peter is absent in this ff , he’s spending the christmas with his own family

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST!

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

JAMES POTTER AND SIRIUS BLACK.

Good lads, great company, and even better matchmakers. Who wouldn't want to spend time with them? The two boys were always full of energy, their laughter infectious, and jokes just rolled from their tongues as naturally as breathing. You could be certain that boredom was a foreign concept in their presence.

That's what everyone thought.

Remus Lupin, however, isn't everyone.

To Remus, James and Sirius were more than just pranksters and school celebrities. They were his closest friends, brothers in all but blood, and the kids behind some of the most outlandish escapades Hogwarts had ever seen. Remus saw behind the facade of their shared humor and carefree attitudes. He understood the deeper layers of their cores — the loyalty that bound them together, the masked fears and insecurities, and the stupidity and courage that defined their actions.

James Potter, with his tousled hair and round glasses, had a heart as big as the Quidditch pitch. Sirius Black, with his roguish good looks and devil-may-care attitude, possessed a sharp intellect that clashed perfectly with his rebellious nature.

Yes, to the outside observers, James and Sirius appeared to be the life of the party (which they were) but to Remus, they were the definition of family.

Even though they certainly knew how to fuck things up.

ONE

"Just listen to us, Moony! This one will work out, me and James planned it for . . . one week, is it? Just trust us!"

Sirius Black's voice was brimming with enthusiasm, his gray eyes twinkling with the unspoken promise of yet another grand scheme. As these words left his mouth, Remus felt a surge of frustration well up inside him. His hands itched to do something else than the dishes — but he resisted the urge to punch the oldest Black brother. The sheer absurdity of the situation was almost laughable. This wasn't the first time his best friends came up with a plan to help him with one of his many problems. Some of their previous attempts had actually worked out quite well. But there were also unsolved problems that Remus had learned to live with, issues he simply couldn't — or wouldn't — allow them to meddle with. Like this one.

"Exactly, mate! We're not doing this just for fun, you know. We're doing it just for you, because as you can see, we know you don't have the courage to tell [Name] how you feel. And we wouldn't be suggesting this if we didn't think it had a real chance of working."

Remus nearly dropped the plate he was washing onto James' head. Did they really have to put their noses into his personal matters? It wasn't that he lacked the courage — he told himself that repeatedly — but the timing just wasn't right. And he had came over to James' house to enjoy the Christmas holiday in peace, not to snog off his best friend's face.

But once an idea comes into a marauder's head, it won't leave until it's out for the world to see.

Just Remus' luck.

The warm, soapy water cascaded over his hands as he resumed scrubbing the plate, trying to focus on the boring task before him rather than the frustration rushing through his system. Sirius's words carried in the air again.

"It was originally planned for Evans, but she wouldn't be as cool with it as [Name]. You know how they both are! Evans would try to hex James' ugly face first, then mine. And [Name]? Well, it seems like you just have to find out, mate."

You just have to find out, my arse.

"Look, why can't you just keep this thing as it was first planned? I'm sure Lily would appreciate the opportunity to snog James' stupid face," Remus said, his voice tinged with the frustration he felt. James made a noice that sounded suspiciously like a gasp and opened his mouth to protest, but Remus ignored him and kept going. "Okay, maybe not for the next ten years, but one day she surely would."

“For the record, my face is unbelievably handsome, thank you!”

The oldest Black brother crossed his arms across his chest, the rag he used to clean the dishes dangling from his hand and making a puddle of water beside him. James glared daggers at it. "You see, even if you politely declined our offer to bring some spice into your already boring life, we can't take no for an answer. We spent our free time searching up a single spell in the library. A bloody library, Moony! So, no. If you and [Name] don't kiss by the end of the Christmas, this prank will be considered unsuccessful, which is something the Marauders don't do."

Sirius' eyes held the same look of determination they had when Peter confidently told the rest of the group that he, Sirius Black, was going to win the snogging bet they made in their fourth year. Remus hadn't liked that gaze then, and he certainly didn't like it now, because he knew what it meant. Peter had won that bet. Which just means . . .

Remus saw his short life flash before his own eyes. This was not going to end up in the way he would like to. A bad, no wait, a horrible idea. But before he could do something to save himself from the coming catastrophe, the whole point of the prank entered the kitchen with a lopsided smile on your face. The boy always thought you were pretty. A pair of eyes that seemed to brighten up whenever your favourite topic is being talked about. A warm smile that makes Remus feel the comfort you gave to him. He wouldn't need to drink Veritaserum to admit that he fancied you.

"I just finished unpacking my stuff, so if you want to do something together . . ." you trailed off, looking into their eyes with an inviting gaze. Remus awkwardly moved his gaze away, heart pumping against rib cage.

James, being the little shit he is, nudged Sirius with a knowing smirk and nodded his head in the direction of his room. "Well, it looks like our job is finished here, doesn't it, Padfoot? We should help Moony here to unpack his trunk. Come on."

Before the werewolf could do anything to stop his two best mates, James grabbed Sirius by the crook of his elbow and ran into his room, leaving the pair of obvious friends alone in the Potters' kitchen.

You looked around, a little surprised by the sudden reaction of James and Sirius. Remus stood next to the sink, drying his hands on a rag. "That was new."

"Yeah, it was."

You leaned over the table, a playful glint was dancing in your eyes. "So, they left to unpack your trunk, huh? I wouldn't let them do it if I were in your place, because I know how much of a messy person James Potter can be. Sirius does look like one too. I've seen your dorm," you let out a laugh that Remus quickly joined.

"You're not wrong. Last time they helped me unpack, I couldn't find half my things for a week. They think it's hilarious to hide my socks in the most ridiculous places."

A playful twinkle sparkled in your eyes at the sudden memory. "Well, at least you know where to find them when something goes missing. I once found a pair of James' socks in the Astronomy Tower. Still haven't figured out how they got there."

"You know," the boy started, but his dark eyes caught the green and white blur above your head, and his breath hitched in the back of his throat. They really had the guts to do it! A spring of mistletoe hung precariously above you, clearly placed by James and Sirius.

Thinking quickly, Remus took your palm in his and met your gaze again. "You could help me unpack my things, so I know where they are and all that stuff you need to know about unpacking."

With a nod, you let him took the lead. "Okay, Remus. I'll save you from them."

Remus was going to kill these two.

TWO

The weather seemed to understand the friend group's wishes for snow, much to their excitement, prompting them all go out and mess around in the white blanket of cold snow. They couldn't charm snowballs yet, and the ice on the lake next to the Potter residence was a bit thin for their liking, but it was fun either way. Laughter and shouts of excitement filled the crisp air as they chased each other, fell into snowdrifts, and made the most of the wintry day.

When they returned home, it was already dark outside, and four mugs of hot chocolate were waiting for them, accompanied by Mrs Potter's cheerful face. The warmth and aroma of the sweet liquid welcomed them inside, melting away the chill from the frost.

James and Sirius, their energy finally exhausted, soon trudged off to bed after they finished their cups, leaving Remus and you to linger a bit longer. The house was quiet now, the only sounds the gentle cracking of fire and the occasional creak of the old wooden floors.

If only it could be like this every day, Remus thought to himself as he sat on the couch beside the fireplace. The flames radiated warmth, and with the mug in his hands, everything felt nice again. No stressing over studying, no thoughts for the upcoming war. He was in his own bubble, praying it wouldn't break at any given moment.

In his lap lay an opened annotated copy of a book you had given him as a Christmas present in your fourth year. He had read the book many times, and each time he found something new that caught his interest. It was like a never-ending story he never planned to finish.

"Hey, Remus."

The sudden sound of your voice and the feeling of your frame settling next to him, a knee brushing against his tight, made him shut the book with unnecessary force. The boy could feel your eyes on the side of his face so, he turned to meet your gaze, brown meeting [eye colour].

Remus had really pretty eyes. The rich brown seemed to melt in the warm room like the sweetest chocolate you had ever put on your tongue, with hazel sparks dancing in them. His eyes held something you couldn't quite put your finger on — a mystery, just like his person. But there was one thing you knew for sure: you would find comfort in them no matter the situation.

As you looked closer, you noticed faint freckles dusting his cheeks. Had they always been there? The gentle smattering of the constellation added to the roughness around his scars, making him appear even more breathtakingly beautiful. You found yourself mesmerized by the little details of his face, each one telling a story of its own.

Remus decided to talk first. "What are you doing here? Not that I mind, I'm just wondering. It's pretty late, you know," after those words left his mouth, Remus felt like a total fool. Merlin, talking with you was getting more difficult since he realized he liked you more than a friend should.

But when he saw your lips curving into a smile, he knew he hadn't messed up. "Can't sleep. It's hard to do so when you have to sleep on a different bed."

"Yeah, I can understand."

Once the comfortable silence fell upon the two of you, Remus wanted to stay like this as long as possible. Life with you in it, even after Hogwarts, would be like a dream come true. You could adopt a cat or a dog together. Remus had always wanted a pet . . . The thought of a future with you filled him with a warm, hopeful feeling.

Suddenly, you were standing on your feet in front of Remus, the book no longer in his lap. Instead, you were holding it open, reading the first words he had written on the front pages. He could feel his neck and ears start to warm up, and he was sure it wasn't from the unfinished hot chocolate.

"Nice book you got here. Must have been a nice present, don't you think?" You were teasing him, he knew it from the glint in your eyes, and you seemed to be enjoying it, too. So, he played along.

"Oh, I don't know, would you be surprised if your friends bought you a book when they see you every morning reading them?"

"This one must be your favourite, as the front is starting to lose its colour."

At the further mention of the book, Remus forgot about the teasing at took it from your hands. "You should read it, [Name], it's a really . . . ," he trailed off again, like he did yesterday, and it started to confuse you more and more. His eyes were looking at something above your head, too. Was the moving photo of little James framed behind you that interesting?

When you started to turn and look, Remus quickly turned you to face the direction of the kitchen and pushed the half filled mug with warm liquid into your palms. "I want more of that. Could you help me make it? Thanks, [Name]."

Remus was ready to push James and Sirius onto the thin ice tomorrow.

THREE

Remus didn't like packing. First, he needed to pack at least a day or two before leaving so he could sleep without overthinking, but he did overthink it anyway. Did I pack everything? I think I had more stuff when I got here . . . He usually spends half of the train ride worrying about things like this; the rest was joking around with his friends and saying goodbye for the summer. And second, he didn't like leaving. The places he went to — whether it was Hogwarts or the Potters' — had a special place in the depths of his heart. The only comforting thought in his head about it all was that he would come back.

With a sigh, he started to pick up his jumpers from the Gryffindor-themed rug James had in his room. They had spent their first Christmas together when they were twelve, and the boys slept in separated bedrooms to Mrs Potter's wishes. She wanted them to have their own privacy (they shared a dorm at school, after all), but as time went on and she realised her boys wanted to be together, the witch let them do as they wanted. You got your own room as this was your first holiday here.

As much as Remus thought about the task being annoying and gloomy, it was kind of relaxing to his mind into something else. James and Sirius hadn't tried anything on you two in the last few days, which worried the werewolf a bit. What were they planning? It wasn't like them, giving up on something they were so determined about.

At a knock on the door, Remus put his just-finished folded socks into his trunk and went to open the it. It couldn't be James and Sirius, and the adult Potters had gone for a walk into the village, which just leaves . . . you.

Oh.

Remus opened the door and revealed, in fact, your glowing face. His eyes took a look at you, and he found himself thinking how pretty you looked.

Your nose and cheeks looked like they were freezing, but it somehow made your face glow. Your beanie covered half of your forehead, and there was a huge spot of unmelted snow on it, probably thrown at you by one of the Marauders. But your eyes still caught his attention first. They showed your real emotions, and you were happy right now, which made Remus feel happy too.

Your smiled reached the corners of your eyes. Remus liked your smile. "Hi! Knew I would find you here. As you can probably see, we are having a snowball fight and I was wondering if you wanted to join me? James is being a git . . .”

Remus couldn't help but chuckle at your enthusiastic invitation. The idea of being outside with you, engaging in a playful snowball fight against his brothers, sounded far more appealing than packing his things. He also knew that if James was being a git, he'd have to intervene to keep the playing field fair.

He listened to you, he really did, but his attention was drawn by the green plant, dangling from the doorframe above your heads. However, this time you followed his gaze and saw what he was always searching for.

"Oh."

Before he could regret what he was about to do, his hands found your cheeks, and his eyes focused on yours, not bothered by the cold that started to reach his palms. "Can I kiss you?"

Your eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment, the world seemed to stand still. The heartfelt laughter of James and Sirius outside faded into the background, leaving only the two of you in that small, shared moment. A soft smile played on your lips as you voiced your inner desires.

"Yes, Remus, you can."

You placed your hands on the back of his neck, your fingers tangling in the soft hair at the nape, and gently pulled him towards you. Your slightly cold lips met his warm ones, and the contrast sent shivers through both of you. The sensation was intoxicating, a rush of emotions and sensations that made your heart race. The warmth from his mouth spread through you, melting away any lingering cold from outside.

Remus's hands slid from your cheeks to cradle the back of your head, his fingers doing the same thing as yours, threading through your hair. You could feel the slightest tremble in them, a sign that he was just as affected by the kiss as you were.

When you finally pulled back, your foreheads rested against each other, and you took a moment to catch your breath. Your eyelids fluttered open, and the look you shared was one of pure emotion. His brown eyes, now darker with desire and something deeper, gazed into yours with a mix of awe and admiration.

It felt like a core memory of your new found relationship was forming, one that will be forever treasured and reminded with nothing but adoration.

Remus was glad about the whole mistletoe prank but the boys will not hear a word from him about it. They were right, the Marauders won't let a prank go unfinished.

[nananarc]

The Death Of Me . 2023

After being revived successfully by Arasaka, Vân spend their time working as a special agent under Takemura's care. During this time, they met Lương - a high ranking officer of SovOil - and continues to frequently work together on collaborative missions of Arasaka and SovOil, especially around the East Asia and South East Asia countries.

However, it comes as no surprise that Vân's life as the walking advertisement of Arasaka's technological superiority is not breezy. Time and time again, she becomes the target of Arasaka's own inhumane experiments and their competitors' attempted sabotaging and kidnapping. She harbors her own escape, with the help of their powerful ally, Lương.

After one especially deadly mission, Vân ends up with a critical injury which has caused Lương to rush the plan forward for fear of her life. This incident is a wake up call for both Lương and Goro of the corporat shackle, albeit much more so for her fellow Vietnamese colleague who comes from a rich dynasty than her Japanese lover who was a Chiba-11 slum kid that is still under the debt of Arasaka.

Lương and Vân ran away together as soon as they are back on their feet, leaving the still hesitating Takemura behind. He has had his doubts ever since 2077 when he first met Vân, and they only grow stronger as he witness her sufferings in Mikoshi and during the years they work together afterwards. But it is still not enough for him to abandon his so-called duty and convictions, something about "cannot teach an old dog new tricks".

That is, until Arasaka decided to "revive" another Vân-borg but very altered this time to better suit their needs. They have the same smile, same posture. They calls him exactly they way Vân likes to coos into his ears on the rare mornings when Vân wakes up earlier than him. But something is wrong behind those eyes. Goro watches as a ghost occupying the shell of whom his heart belongs to being paraded around by Arasaka like a twisted puppet. He finally decided that this old dog needs to teach himself new tricks.

But, is it too late?

Stay tune on "Na's midnight random incoherent brainrot" to find out!

Note1 : Did I just retconed my own hc of my characters? Yes. Have I ever introduced publicly those hc? Nope. Do I actually have an idea on how things are gonna turn out after thing? I dont. Bite me lmao.

Note2: I wanna play with the idea of Death, Life, and Love. Which one is Death in this comic? Goro or Lương? As well as when is Death ends and Life begins, because after the beginning a new life post-Mikoshi, she is on the verge of death many times other than this incident.

Goro and Vân are the love of each other's lives, but she loves Lương as well in her own ways. Lương loves her too despite him not really recognizing it and it not being the same thing as hers. Are these loves romantic, sexual, platonic, or whatever else?

Sorry haha the brainrot is just INTENSE today so i scribbled all of this down in just a few hours, idk if everything makes sense.

[talaok]

Could you please write an imagine where Pedro and reader know each other for a very long time and reader comes from a not so happy family (unlike Pedro)

He’s in love with her and she does love him but does believe love is real or that relationships can last (thinking everyone only wants her for her body from past flings) and can’t give him a chance due to fear

Happy ending if you want

Thanks

warnings: angst, and brief talk about reader's bad childhood

a/n: im starting to honestly think yall should start writing fics, cause the shit you come up with is so good like

The first time you told him you were 13.

You had showed up at his doorsteps asking for a place to sleep.

You couldn't stand another minute of hearing your parents scream at each other two doors down.

They hadn't even noticed you were gone, they never did.

He was your only real friend at the time, and after a sort of awkward moment with his parents, he'd led you to his room and asked what had happened.

And that's the first time he heard the sentence he'd grow to hate.

"Love isn't real. It never lasts"

Your parents were the proof. Love is a trap, it deceives you into thinking you can spend your life with someone, when really, all you're doing is locking yourself into a cage, and when you finally realize what you've done, it will be too late, because then you'll be scared to get out, to start new, and that's why you'll stay, forever imprisoned because your own stupid choices.

From then on, it became your mantra.

With every guy who disappeared after having gotten you into bed, with every guy who dumped you as soon as they'd seen what's underneath your clothes, one sentence engraved itself in your mind.

Love isn't real. Love isn't real. Love isn't real.

And that's why, he, of all people, knew better than anyone why he shouldn't tell you, why he should continue pretending like he'd been doing for almost twenty years,

Maybe he was a masochist, or maybe his feelings were getting too strong and they had started to fog his brain, but he couldn't hold it in anymore, he'd kept it hidden for too long, and no matter how many women he'd meet there was always you in the back of his mind.

It had always been you.

And that's why tonight... tonight he had finally let go.

"Y/n, I love you" 

He saw you freeze before his eyes, shocked and terrified of the words that had just come out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry" he murmured, swiping his sweaty hands on his jeans and looking around your living room to try and gather some composure. "I'm sorry to drop this on you like this. I know how you feel about the whole... love thing" he winced internally as his eyes set anywhere but on yours "And- and I don't want to ruin our friendship, and it's ok if you don't feel the same way, but..." He swallowed what felt like sand in his mouth as he finally looked into your eyes "Y/n I've felt this way for so fucking long" he breathed "I-I think I was too young to understand it when we met, but as we grew up it just became clearer and clearer and... and I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore y/n, I'm sorry"

His words felt distant, muffled.

You felt like you were drowning and he was trying to talk to you from above the water.

He'd just told you the three words you dreaded most in the world, and now you didn't know what to do, or say, or even think.

And it wasn't the same as when any of your old boyfriends had said it, no, with him, with Pedro, those words scared you because they meant so much more, 

because they reached into that deep, hidden part of you that... that felt the same way.

And that part of you was hidden for a reason, that part of you was the only thing that prevented you from becoming like your mom, from falling into the trap.

And now he'd just handed you the keys, and all you needed to do was decide to open the lock.

And you didn't know if you wanted to.

"I don't want to lose you y/n, the last thing I want is to lose you, you- you're the most important person in my life, I-I'd be lost without you, so if you don't feel the same way, it's fine, I promise it's fine, I can take it, but before you say anything I just want you to know that when I say I love you I mean it," Both your hearts were beating faster than they'd ever beaten before"I mean I love every single part of you, every single inch, that I love you when you sing off-tune and I love you when you call me in the middle of the night" he laughed "That- that I wake up and go to sleep thinking of you- that without you I wouldn't know how to breathe, that since I met you, I felt the need to become a better person so that maybe I'd deserve you." he said more softly now "And I'm sorry about your parents, and I'm sorry about everything that happened in your life, but I promise you that I'd never do anything to hurt you, that if you just give me a chance, I'll try my hardest to prove to you that love is real, that- that it can last if you just give it a try"

The soft roar of an engine made its way to your ears as a car drove by outside, the fabric of the couch felt itchy all of a sudden, and your breathing had become uneven.

You didn't know how long you both stayed silent, how long it took you to take in all he had just said, but when you finally opened your mouth, your voice didn't sound like your own.

"Pedro-" his eyes were filled with hope, but yours only with pain "Pedro you know how I feel about this" you murmured, like doctors did just as they delivered bad news "I'm sorry I- I can't do this, you know I can't... I just-" there was this feeling in your stomach, like all your organs were twisting, like your body was telling you you were making a mistake "I don't want to lose you, and I know that if we did... this, it would only end badly" you watched all the hope in his eyes crumble and you didn't think you'd ever hated yourself more than in that exact moment.

"I'm sorry Pedro," you said "I can't"

He didn't look like himself anymore, he didn't feel like it either. He felt as if all the life had left his body, and all that remained was a useless sack of skin.

But still, still, he couldn't help but realize that you hadn't said one thing, the one thing that was gonna make him give up forever.

"So you don't feel the same way?"

It wasn't tears threatening to spill from your eyes, it was liquid pain, liquid hatred for yourself.

"T-that doesn't matter"

He frowned, trying to come up with something to say that wouldn't make him sound any more pathetic than he already was.

"B-but it does y/n. it does"

You swallowed thickly "Pedro, please" you begged

"I need to know," he said with a thread of voice 

"I-I can't" you murmured, as a tear finally stained your cheek "I..."

He took that as his answer.

You didn't love him, and deep down, he'd always known.

"I think-" he cleared his throat to try and gain some composure, "I think it's best if I go," he said as he stood up.

you didn't know if you nodded, you didn't know anything anymore

He glanced back at you for a moment to see if there was any sign of you wanting to stop him, but your head was down.

both of your hearts broke with each step he took, and as he got farther and farther, this... feeling spread inside your body, this presentiment of having just made the biggest mistake of your life sneaked up your throat and robbed you of all oxygen.

And was only when his fingers grabbed the doorknob, and you grasped his arm, that you could breathe again.

"y/n-" he tried to speak, but you needed to do this before your mind could catch up, so you cut him off.

"I do," you said, as more tears fell from your eyes "I love you, Pedro"

His mind was a mess and his heart was a mess but he still managed to spit out a sentence

"Y/n, if you're saying that just because-"

"Pedro" you softly placed your hands on each side of his head, as you huffed out a silly laugh "Just kiss me"

[microwave-core]

Scarvio Headcanons

Guess who’s back on her bullshit

It’s me :)

Nemona, my favorite skrungly dumbass. Sweet thing is trying her best, unable to discern her romantic feelings from her platonic ones for so long. Listen, growing up she only had pokemon on the mind, and once she reached the top she really didn’t have any friends, so she’s still figuring things out. But enough about her being lost in her feelings, because I’ve talked about that enough.

Once she manages to spill her guts and get into an actual relationship, she’s completely lovesick, over the moon. Her entire worldview has changed for the better, as she somehow becomes even peppier than usual. The happiness beaming from her is as radiant as the sun. Her mood is impossible to bring down. She’s just so happy that you’ve given her a chance, that you feel the same way about her that she feels about you.

In general? She’s a mix of eager and nervous. Nemona only recently made real friends, so obviously she’s still learning the ins and outs and weird quirks of relationships, both for platonic and romantic ones. Don’t get me wrong, she’s absolutely ecstatic at the idea of having a girlfriend, and she absolutely loves you with her whole heart and soul, but this is still new, unexplored territory for her. Taking big steps in your relationship makes her heart pound, both from excitement and fear, but she fights against her nervousness with relative ease, viewing it as a mere challenge she must overcome to become the girlfriend of your dreams.

Speaking of friends, Nemona likes to go to them for advice, despite both of them being in the same relationship boat as her, to varying effect. Arven actually gives some pretty sound advice, but that’s mainly because said advice boils down to making and giving you food, and who doesn’t love free food? Penny, on the other hand, essentially just rehashed vagueling romantic things from her favorite manga and anime. Thankfully for you, Arven usually manages to shut her down before any ideas can be planted into Nemona’s head.

Her favorite kind of dates are the ones where you spend time in nature together. Whether you’re going on a picnic or camping or just plain ol’ adventuring, she’s gonna have a great time. Just know that she is going to try and battle every unique looking pokemon you come across. On the bright side, she’ll always give you first dibs when it comes to catching them. It might take a long while for her to catch anything, given her less than stellar throwing arm, but she’ll succeed eventually through raw, sheer determination. 

This mentality can be applied whenever you express interest in catching a pokemon. If you want something, Nemona will get it for you, no questions asked. If you are looking for something super rare? Nemona’s got it. You’re trying to get a shiny? She’s already on it. You want something insane like the rare three-segmented Dudunsparce and you want it to be shiny? Don’t worry, babe, she’s got this. She will disappear for weeks on end and reemerge with the spoils of war in hand.

Please let her geek out, if only for a little bit. Let her rant and rave about the insane battle she had with her rival a few days ago, or about the uber rare pokemon she found earlier in the week. On one hand, she just wants to talk about these things in general, but on the other hand she just wants to know that someone in her life is genuinely interested in what she has to say. It makes her heart flutter in a way that she’s never felt before. The second you give her that kind of attention, she knows that you are the one for her.

Anyways, I always love posts that are like “slander your favs for no reason” so Imma try to do that for each of these ladies, except it isn’t really gonna be slander but I’m gonna call it that anyways because I don’t know what else to call it. For Nemona, I’d say that she’d fall hook, line, and sinker for those old playground rumors, like Mew being under a truck by the S.S. Ann or the Jirachi rock bullshit. If you tell her that they aren’t real, that people just made them up to pull people’s legs, she would be completely crushed.

Penny’s a weird one. Like, just in general, and we love her for that. She is the epitome of what facebook boomers think of the younger generation. She is terminally online and refuses to leave her room unless absolutely necessary. She has committed bank fraud. She is blue hair and pronouns. She is holy fucking bingle. 

Unlike Nemona, who is super eager about taking steps in your relationship, Penny is terrified of them. She’s never been this close to another person in her entire life, so obviously she’s hesitant. Not to say that she doesn’t like being close with you, she loves it and craves to be even closer, but she can’t help but feel a bit afraid of the unknown. That’s all to say, you are going to have to be the one to initiate those steps. Just be careful, even a kiss to the cheek is enough to make her brain do a full system-reboot.

But she wants to take those steps, and wants to show you that she cares about and loves you (although it takes a very long time for her to bust out the L-word). For starters, Penny will actually open up to you about all of her interests. She’s not ashamed of who she is, but she doesn’t tell most people about her interests due to being bullied for them in the past. On top of that, she’ll also introduce you to her Team Star buddies, and they definitely pull the overprotective card on you. Hell, she’d even hack the league again for you if you so much as asked (just don’t tell Clavell she said that).

She also takes your interests into consideration in order to recommend some of her favorite things in return-from manga, to video games, to music. And if you ever tell her about something that you really, really love, she will binge it ASAP. You could mention a game that takes at least a hundred hours to complete and she will somehow finish it within a matter of days, ready to talk about it as soon as the credits roll. She was bullied for the things she loves, so she knows how much it sucks having no one to talk to about them. Not that she’d ever say that out loud, though, because mushy feelings and words don’t come naturally to her.

Kind of an aside, but do you think something like pokemon showdown (online battles) would exist in the pokemon universe? I only mention this because I think Penny would be super into competitive memes. She would totally mention something like homophobic ferrothorn in casual conversation and expect you to understand what she’s talking about. 

Of course, how could I mention Penny in general headcanons without bringing up the theory that she’s Peony’s daughter? How could I pass up an opportunity to, once again, talk about supreme supportive embarrassing dad-of-the-year Peony who’s extremely supportive of his gay daughters? Giving Peonia this treatment wasn’t enough, I seek more carnage.

Now, Penny would definitely have it better than Peonia, considering she lives in a different region and all, but that doesn’t stop Peony. He sends her small gifts all the time, many of which are handmade. In particular, he loves to send little pride flag patches, which she often shares with her friends. He also tries to send her supportive messages to tell her that he loves and accepts all of her no matter what, but they’re always made in MS Paint with a mouse and he has to ask Peonia to help him save the image and send it to her, and it's always either far too small or far too big, nowhere in between.

Slander time, Penny would absolutely own a titty mouse pad of one of her favorite anime characters. She is incredibly embarrassed about owning it, and dreads the day someone finds it, but she still uses it, and goes to great lengths to hide the thing whenever anyone comes over.

Katy is kinda hard for me to write for because it’s in an instance of oh I know someone with that name and it’s hard for me to think of her without thinking about that person with whom I am related to, but you didn’t ask about that.

This woman? She’s the sweetest thing to ever grace Paldea. This lady is so sickeningly sweet at all times, only wanting the best for those around her. She couldn’t even hurt a Cutiefly because she’s simply too kind. Make no mistake, she could absolutely clock the shit out of someone, but she simply chooses not to. Thankfully, she only believes in uplifting others.

Obviously, baking is her passion. She’s spent years perfecting her craft down to a science, enough to make complex techniques look simple. More than anything, she wants to share the joys of baking with you. It’s like giving you a piece of her to hold onto forever. Don’t be surprised if she ends up making you her go-to taste tester, always asking your opinion on whatever new concoction she’s whipped up. All she asks is that you’re honest, not wanting you to lie just to protect her feelings.

Speaking of her craft, she understands how difficult it can be to get into or master a craft or hobby, about how easy it is to put yourself down the second you make a mistake. She’s been there, she gets it, hence why she doesn’t hold back with her praise and criticism. She believes it’s important to acknowledge how much you’ve improved while also keeping in mind how you can strive to be better. 

Despite how sweet and kind she is, Katy does have a mischievous streak. Pulling light-hearted pranks is one of her favorite pastimes. It's small things like signing your email up to some random newsletter or asking “what’s that” while pointing over your shoulder, only to be met by one of her creepy-crawly or bear-shaped pokemon. You could argue that these things don’t really classify as pranks, but she loves doing them nonetheless. Even though they are completely harmless, she always has sweets to give the prankee after the fact, just in case her actions somehow came off poorly.

But let’s skip to the bottom line, you can’t date Katy if you hate bug pokemon. And it’s not because she won’t tolerate your opinion, no, it’s because her little-and big-bugs are around constantly. If your fear was bad enough, you’d likely end up having a heart attack just by being around her for an extended period of time. If you are afraid of them but are determined to be with her, then she’ll do everything in her power to help overcome your fears. Exposure therapy can work wonders if you’re willing to put the effort in, and she’ll reward you with her love and baked goods for being so brave, especially because you’d be doing it for her.

She’s one of the most uplifting, cheerful yet calm partners you could have. She’ll always be in your corner, helping you along the way of whatever journey you are on, but she won’t be overbearing. She’s a very passive person by nature and struggles with confrontation, but she has your back no matter what happens, prepared to catch you and help you back onto your feet whenever you may fall down.

Slander posting time, Katy really got into the “everything is cake” thing. Like, it kind of became a problem, to the point that she spent hours making a single realistic-looking pastry. Normally, she’s not too hard on herself when it comes to baking, as small mistakes are unavoidable and are nothing worth losing sleep over. That is, until she was working on a hyper-realistic Tarountula, where she acted like her life was on the line should a single one be made.

Iono can be super energetic, upbeat, and slightly unhinged at times, and lowkey, chill, and… still kinda unhinged at others. She’s an online personality, so, of course, there’s a persona she has to put up, but with someone like you, she can be her regular self.

For starters, this girl is fuckin’ tired. Putting up her hyper-active streaming persona whenever she’s around others while also having to deal with internet weirdos wears her out. Of course, she’s grateful for her job and the opportunities that come along with it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not stressful at times. She can handle it, though, even if she does end up whining and borderline begging you to cuddle her when you get home at the end of the day, if only for a bit.

When it comes to your relationship, she desperately wants to show you off. You’re her darling, loving girlfriend, who is both incredibly hot and talented. It’s only natural that she would want to show off how great your relationship is. But, at the same time, she’s very secretive with it. For one, she knows how certain people can get when the people they follow get into relationships, and two, she wants to keep her personal life out of the public eye.

Her hair is a nightmare to care for. Not just because there’s a ton of it, but because she has to constantly make sure it’s dyed properly. Personally, I believe her hair is naturally pink, meaning every few weeks she has to get the turquoise parts touched up. Of course, that doesn’t even mention how long it takes to style. All she asks of you (a lie) is to brush her hair, careful to work out the tangles with delicate strokes. She’s always willing to return the favor, tending to your hair based on your instructions.

Whenever you go out, she has no choice but to put on a disguise. On a date, she doesn’t want to be noticed by the general public. Not only would it bring attention to you both, it would also force her to put up her streaming face, which would kinda destroy the purpose of you guys going out in the first place. What’s the point of spending quality time with each other, one-on-one, if she has to be fake to appease those around you?

On the actual dates, she’s super lowkey, even more than usual. It’s not often that she gets to be herself out in public, so she cherishes all the time dearly, even if she has to hide her face in doing so. You get to hold hands, go out to eat, and walk around the streets of Levincia while window shopping, chatting and laughing the whole time. She forgets how much she loves it, living a mundane life, even if just for a few hours. It makes her think about what life will be like in the future. She doesn’t want to live in the public eye, streaming forever, so these small moments are like a glimpse into the future for her.

But Iono can absolutely be a menace, as well, both on and off stream. Like, you could just be on your quiet little date in the city and she’ll randomly ask if you want to go harass Larry. She does it all the time for her streams because the people love him, but she also just does it for fun on her own time. Besides, who doesn’t want to end their date by badgering epic divorce man as he eats 50 rice balls in one sitting?

As for slander, well, there’s many things I could mention here, if I’m being honest, but let’s just stick with the simplest one. She’s done a youtuber apology before in response to some dumb controversy she got involved in, complete with the sigh at the beginning followed by “I never wanted to make this video” and all.

Tulip’s elegant and a bit head strong, and is also incredibly charismatic and business savvy. Beauty is her forte, and she finds it in all things, regardless of what other people think, which she thinks is a mindset everyone could benefit from having.

She’s a bit more difficult than others, in a sense, mainly because of how busy her life is. Typically, she’s talking to business personnel about her next line of cosmetics, either in person or over the phone. As a result, making time for you can be difficult. Sometimes, the most you’ll see of her in a day is her, on the phone, whispering a quick “love you” and planting a kiss on the top of your head before turning her attention back to whoever’s on the other end of the line.

But every now and then, she’ll clear her entire schedule and spend the entire day with you, and she’s pampering to a fault. No matter what you end up doing all day, at some point she’ll sit you down and do your makeup and style your hair all pretty while chatting away. Her work is flawless, obviously, although it does take quite some time to finish. She’ll let you do hers in return, finding whatever choices you make to be beautiful. After all, you picked out the colors and styles specifically for her, so of course she’ll love it.

If you end up going out, she’d love to go to a nice restaurant. It’s a great way to show off how lovely you both look, dolled up, ready for a wild night on the town. Eventually, though, she'll get recognized, leading to you both being tailed by the paparazzi. She puts on her best smile, asking you to play along, but soon enough you’ll both bail. The night ends with you running through back alley streets, laughing and giggling with one another until you eventually find your way back home.

Quiet dates are what she prefers, though, as it’s nice to just relax and unwind with someone you love. She adores meditation and yoga, and would love to guide you through some sessions. She’s learned a lot from Dendra, after all, and needs to put that knowledge to good use. That being said, she’s a very flexible person, mainly because she’s been doing yoga for so long, so don’t feel bad if you have trouble keeping up with her.

While Tulip’s whole business is about cosmetics, she puts a ton of value on self-love. To her, makeup is purely an art form which uses the human body as its canvas. Every face, every body, has beauty to it. If you can’t realize how wonderful you are in your most natural state, then slathering makeup on, what you perceive to be, flaws won’t change your overall self-image. Makeup is a hobby, and it looks best when you use it to accentuate what beauty you already possess. It’s the reason she absolutely loathes self-deprecation. If she ever catches you saying something bad about yourself, whether it’s meant to be comedic or not, she’ll take your face in her hands, squishing your cheeks a bit, while stating otherwise. Like, if you said you weren’t really that pretty or attractive, she’ll go off on a rant about how beautiful you are, both in and out. If she thinks something seriously up with you, that something is really weighing on your mind, she’ll clear her schedule as soon as possible and spend hours spoiling you, making sure you know how much she truly loves you and you alone.

Tulip is also super into self-care. If she’s not posting about makeup or fashion, she’s promoting all kinds of things to her followers. She posts about her morning routine and makes instructional videos for yoga poses and stretches. Sometimes, she’ll drag you out of bed in the morning to join in on her regular routine, mainly her skin care routine as well as meditation. It’s important to take care of your mind and body, and she won’t let you forget that.

Let’s see, slander for Tulip. Normally, she’s a very calm and composed individual, but she’s not perfect. That is to say, there exists a video of her just completely blowing up at someone Christian Bale style. She prefers to ignore its existence.

Rika’s honestly not my type, but I get the appeal, even if she does look like gijinka Perry the Platypus. She’s got that cool edge about her, even when she is wearing her grandma glasses.

She loves to flirt with you. The flustered expression she can force onto your face never fails to make her heart pound in her chest. The way your eyes widen, the way you try to hide your face from her, the way you stammer through your words… all moments she cherishes. She’s not above kabedoning (or whatever the word is) you just to see you squirm. She wants to steal your heart, and will go to any lengths she has to to make you hers.

That being said, I sincerely see Rika as a failwife. She may look sleek and suave on the surface, but behind closed doors? She’s a disaster. She lays in bed at night. tormented by your cute face, as she’s forced to overthink every little interaction she’s ever had with you. It’s like, she’ll think about some interaction you’ve had, thinking she completely embarrassed herself in front of you, that she completely screwed up her chances with you, when in reality you don’t even remember it. Not even the gentle embrace of Clodsire can save her.

Whenever she’s working as the league’s receptionist, she’s thinking about you. It’s not her fault that browsing through your social medias is far more interesting than forwarding emails. Of course, she makes sure to keep them in a separate tab to switch off of them second anyone walks into the room. Just because all of her co-workers, as well as her boss, know that she slacks off doesn’t mean they need to catch her in the act. Battling is a different story, though, as her focus has no room to wander off there.

She’s kinda like a second mom to Poppy. The tot’s far too young to work an actual job, obviously, but she spends a good deal of her day at the league in the off chance that a challenger comes by. Most of the time, she’s sat around, doodling her team and parents and co-workers with crayons on printer paper. Rika spends quite a bit of time watching over her, making sure she’s not getting into too much trouble while praising her artistic talents. Rika makes sure she gets lunch and always sets her down for her afternoon nap and brings her home at the end of the day and whatnot.

That’s all to say, Rika inadvertently built up an attachment to the kid. She never thought she would want to be a mom, and she isn’t even sure if she really wants children of her own, considering being a babysitter isn’t nearly the same thing as being an actual parent, but taking care of Poppy always gets her thinking. For now, at least, she’s content being an aunt. If she ever saw you caring for Poppy, her heart might just explode. You’d simply be too cute, and it would also make her realize that she might have a thing for milfs.

She has a secret love for shitty romcoms. Once you’ve been together for awhile, she’ll invite you over for the night and put one on under the guise that you can make fun of how stupid and predictable it will be, but if you pay attention to her while watching, you’ll notice that the enjoyment she’s getting out of it is far from ironic. No matter how much you may poke or prod or tease, she will never admit it. She just wants you to think she’s cool, is that so much to ask for?

As for her slander, she doesn’t really understand memes. Like, you know the joke about parents always pulling the same face when you show them a meme? That’s Rika, she makes that face almost every time you try to show her something funny. It’s not like she isn’t online, or anything, she just doesn’t understand them.

Geeta, my favorite chairwoman with a voluminous shell of hair. No one knows how she cares for that behemoth, just like how no one knows how a good chunk of the wider pokemon community fail to understand her purpose in the games, but I digress.

As I believe I’ve said before, Geeta is a workaholic. Most of the time she’s tending to her league related duties, which results in little time spent together. When she eventually arrives home, tired but generally satisfied after a long day of work, she kisses you softly as a way to say “hello”, squeezing a bit of quality time in, before shutting herself away in her at-home office to continue working. Unfortunately, it falls to you to tear her away from her work when she’s clearly run herself ragged.

Thankfully, vacations happen pretty often, as she frequently travels to represent the Paldean league. It’s still work, but it gives her a great opportunity to spend time with you. Exploring new regions makes her feel like a kid, like she’s experiencing her journey across Paldea with her Glimmet in tow all over again. It reminds of her simpler days, causing a small, nostalgic smile to find its way onto her face. She encourages you to continue poking around on your own when she has to return to doing work.

Mentioned this in the past as well, but Geeta spoils you endlessly. Gift giving is one of her love languages. She can’t help but think of you when seeing adorable clothes and objects in shop windows and online stores, knowing the delightfully surprised expression you’d make when presented with the sudden gift, even though you should expect these things from her after being with each other for so long. It’s not like she’s struggling financially or anything, so why shouldn’t she?

Also, she loves spa dates. It lets her spend time with, spoil you, and relieve her incredible stress all at once. It’s the perfect date in her mind. Of course, she loves fancy dates, at high end restaurants and stuffy galas held by the league. She enjoys luxurious goods, the expensive, fine wine and food, and she also loves to see you dressed to the nines. But they don’t hold a flame to the love she has for relaxing with you at the end of a long day.

She’s very particular with her things. Like, everything within her office, both at the league and at home, is perfectly organized. The top of the expensive-looking wood is essentially pristine, all her fountain pens and other small knick knacks are kept in holders, and the drawers are full, although not overly so, of neatly filed papers organized alphabetically. She knows where everything is at all times, and can get irritated if someone moves them around. And yes, she has framed photos of you on her desk in both offices.

That being said, certain parts of her home, mostly closets, are messy and borderline overflowing. The closet that her clothes are in is neatly kept to prevent the finely pressed, sleeveless work shirts and blazers from getting wrinkled, but no other closet is safe. They are just full of random objects she doesn’t know what to do with. Normally, she prefers not to acknowledge their existence, simply smiling if you ever brought them up, but if you were to go through and organize them for her, she would marry you on the spot.

She just… she thinks about you a lot. Whenever there’s a slow moment in the day, she’s thinking of you. When she’s moving from point A to point B or transitioning between tasks, she’s thinking of you. When the work place spirals into hectic chaos, she’s thinking of you, because, Arceus help her, if she didn’t think of anything else, she would completely snap and maybe kill someone. Even when still hard at work, thinking about you and what you might be doing at work or home makes her feel at  ease, helping her grapple with her ever-mounting stress.

Geeta slander, okay. Do you know how Mark Zuckerberg owns, like, 30 pairs of the same shirt that, despite looking incredibly simple, are all uber expensive? That’s Geeta, except it’s for her blazers. She has several pairs of them to ensure she always has a clean, ironed one available, which at least makes sense since they have to be dry-cleaned and all, but goddamn she’s put down a small fortune on the things.

Mela, as you would expect, is stubborn and hot-headed. Her reputation as a foul-mouthed delinquent sends most people packing, but if you manage to wiggle your way past her defenses, you’ll end up with an endlessly loyal friend (or girlfriend, in this case) who would move mountains for you.

This girl is incredibly possessive. If you ask her why, she’ll tell you that it’s to ensure that no one tried to mess with you, stopping others from making fun of or coming onto you before they even got the chance. Which is true and all, but she also just doesn’t like the idea of people getting too cozy with you. Simply put, she gets jealous easily. Not that she would ever admit it, as she’d sooner burn through every excuse under the sun before doing so.

She tends to come off rather, uh, strong, to say the least. No matter what she’s doing, she will look intimidating, even with her doofy walk. The day she asked you out, she marched up to you, face as menacing as ever, and just spouted out “go on a date with me!”, leaving no room for opposition (not that you would have said no, of course). It’s not her fault, really, she just has a bad case of resting bitch face. Speaking of your first date, it was kinda awkward, but in an endearing way. More likely than not, you didn’t really know who Mela was outside of her being a member of the team causing chaos for the school, as well as the fact that she was very, very intimidating. Naturally, you were pretty nervous during the date, afraid that saying the wrong thing would result in you being yelled at. Little did you know, Mela was also incredibly nervous, because you were just so pretty and kind and she really didn’t want to blow her chances with you.

Honestly, she doesn’t really have a ton of strong interests. There are things she likes to do, sure, but not enough to call them hobbies. And even then, a lot of them are activities that her friends really love, meaning she only bothers with them when hanging out. She likes these things enough, but most of her enjoyment comes from being with her friends and not the actual thing in question. Whatever you are passionate about, she’ll jump into. As long as you’re having fun, she’s happy.

It isn’t until after Team Star’s downfall that she begins to express her interest in art. She’s always liked drawing and painting and what not, but she never had the opportunity to get into it, mainly because her skills are rudimentary at best. Her only real experience with drawing in recent memory includes poorly doodling in the margins of spiral notebooks and worksheets, which prevented her skills from improving all that much. 

It takes her awhile to break out of her shell and show people her work, as she’s afraid that they would point and laugh at her. Even though she could easily rip someone a new one if they so much as looked at her funny, she’s still afraid of falling into the cycle of bullying she was subjected to before. But she pushes past that fear, knowing that feedback from those that care will only help her improve. She shares more art with you than anyone else, so please be gentle with her. She works so hard on each piece, and is desperate to eat your praise up.

She’s a cuddle bug, one hundred percent. Do not mention that fact, though, because doing so would cause her to explode. She is supposed to be rough and tough, the deep cutting wit of her team that can force even the most self-confident individuals to run away crying. If people knew that she was a little spoon, that she liked to be snuggled as close as possible against her girlfriend behind closed doors, her reputation would be tarnished forever. She doesn’t even want her friends to find out, because she knows they would hold it over her head and tease her forever. And by friends, I mean all of them except for Eri, who would try to stop the others from teasing, an effort that would fail miserably.

Regarding slander, I’d say that Mela owns a ton of those “how to draw anime” books. She was super into them when she was younger, resulting in a lot of embarrassing old drawings. She hates them, but looks back at them sometimes to see how far her artistic abilities have come.

Eri, my beloved. She is peak gentle giant, strong and powerful and an absolute sweetheart by nature. She is your ride or die, willing to do anything she has to in order to keep you safe and happy.

This girl absolutely adores you. She gets drawn in by your natural strength and beauty, leading to her sheepishly introducing herself. Just like Mela, you’d find yourself intimidated by her presence at first, but when you actually get to know her you come to realize how sweet and kind she is. As soon as you’re friends, she would be willing to drop everything for you, and that sentiment only grows stronger when you get together. If you ever need anything, all you need do is ask, and she’ll take care of it, no questions asked.

I kinda implied it with the above, but Eri is actually kinda shy. She really doesn’t like being looked at, finding the stares of others to be intimidating. It was Atticus that came up with the idea of wearing a mask, which helped her feel way more comfortable being around others, despite it drawing in more attention. To be fair though, even if she didn’t wear it, people would still stare due to how tall and muscular she is. Over the years, she’s gotten better, more sociable, but talking to you early into your friendship as well as officially asking you out brought that side of her out again.

She’s a big ol’ teddy bear. She has the physique of a Greek god, and she uses all of those defined muscles to give the most mind-blowing hugs imaginable. With her arms around you, holding you closer than humanly possible, it’s impossible to feel cold or unsafe. She prefers to hold you closely, but has no issue with you sprawling out on top of her or trying to be the big spoon. She just wants to devolve into a tangle of limbs with you, regardless of what position you find yourselves in.

Of course, Eri is super into working out and staying fit. She lifts, she runs, she pumps iron, she does it all, and she loves it. Is she a gym rat? Not quite, but she’s been mistaken for one before. She wouldn’t ask you to join her outright, but she clearly wants you to join in. She’s a bit afraid to ask you directly in the fear that you’ll feel pressured to say yes. If you tag along, to her excitement, she will tone her regular routine down for your sake, not wanting you to feel too sore in the morning.

Also, she’s the type of person to wake up at the crack of dawn. She likes to start the morning off with a brisk jog. It’s her way of waking up instead of caffeine. You can’t stop her from untangling you from her arms upon waking up, no matter how much you may beg and plead for her to stay in bed with for just a little bit longer. She simply cannot be swayed.

She loves horror in concept, but absolutely hates it in practice. She can get pretty excited when sitting down to watch something like a horror movie, but as soon as anything scary happens, she’s out. Not literally, she will sit through the entire thing, but she has to grab a nearby pillow to hide behind when anything remotely scary happens to do so. If you are with her, she will cower behind  you instead, essentially setting you down on her lap  to more easily hide behind your shoulder..

Eri absolutely loves cute things. As evidenced by her princess-esque outfit and use of heal balls. That being said, Eri also thinks everything is cute. There’s the obvious, typical cute things she loves, like stuffed animals and frills and anything draped in pink or purple, but she also believes that her team of pokemon are cute, which, need I remind you, contains a beast that evolves by getting so furious that it fucking dies. Everything is cute in her world, and she will use everything in her power to keep that cuteness safe. The strong must protect the sweet and whatnot.

Slander? Well, I’d say that Eri accidentally breaks things regularly due to how strong she is, but everytime it happens she cries about it. She just feels so bad about it, even if everyone around her tells her that it’s fine because it was an accident.

Miriam is such a mess, but she’s trying her best. She’s kinda like Rika, in the sense that she has a failwife-esque energy about her. She melts under your attention, but that doesn’t stop her from blabbing about you to anyone who will listen.

Poor Miriam is tired and disappointed with her place in life, and it shows sometimes. All she wanted to be was a teacher, but she got shafted into the position of school nurse. Given, it was more or less her fault, considering that she was the one that failed the test. Truth be told, she didn’t study as much as she probably should have for the exam, but that doesn’t dull the sting of failure. She puts on the face of a school nurse during work hours regardless of her dissatisfaction, although doing so can get a bit awkward when faced with the academy’s older students.

That being said, when she finds her spark and decides to attempt the test again, she’s all into studying. If you were to help her out during this time, bringing her food and tea and encouraging her to take breaks to clear her mind, it would be much appreciated. Sure, she always tells others to take care of themselves, but that doesn’t mean that she’s good at it herself. Plus, your encouragement helps her keep going when she wants to throw in the towel. When she eventually passes the test, she’s gonna take you out on the best damn date the world has ever seen as thanks.

Regardless of where she’s at in life, she will come home and collapse on the couch, waiting for you to join her so she can blab about her day. When she’s working as a nurse, she’s bored and dissatisfied, wishing for more out of her work day. When she’s studying to become a teacher, she’s tired and mentally done with things, knowing that she will eventually have to go back to studying till her brain is fried even though she just got home from work. Comfort her please, she’s desperate.

Let it be known that she can fall fast, and she can absolutely fall hard. It doesn’t take much for her to take interest in someone, for her to flirt with you on a casual basis, but when she begins to form a crush, it’s the end for her. She’s tripping over herself whenever you’re around, and blushing up a storm whenever you’re on her mind. Everyone around her knows she has a crush the instant it forms, you included. She can see that her feelings are obvious, so she makes no real attempt to hide them from you. However, she won’t act on them, because she wants you to make the first move.

Once you do start dating, she talks about you constantly. Should anything come up that reminds her of you, even if just by the slightest bit, she’ll bring it up. Some of her coworkers find it endearing, and others can’t stand it (cough Raifort cough). Not that she notices, though, because she’s too busy talking about you to take their reactions into consideration. She’s also the type of person to refer to you as her wife even when you’re just dating.

She’s another cheerleader, but is more out there than the likes of Katy. She doesn’t just want you to know that she’s supporting you, she wants everyone around to know she’s got your back, because have you seen her wife? She’s absolutely killing it, look at how cool she is. Miriam is just incredibly supportive and wants to repay you for all the support you’ve given her, ready to hype you up as much as possible at a moment's notice. Of course, she’ll also force you to sit back and take care of yourself if she thinks you're in desperate need of a break.

Slander? Well, when she’s drunk, she turns into a basic bitch. She’ll move until she’s sitting right next to you, almost tripping several times in the process, so she can lean in close. She’ll run her fingers up and down your arm, her touch incredibly clumsy and sluggish, saying things like “you are SO funny” while laughing and kicking her feet after you say literally anything.

Dendra is also kind of a mess, but for a different reason. Because she’s a huge fitness nut and, essentially, a PE teacher, she often gets injured, making her more of a physical mess than a mental one.

She’s super energetic, always pumped up and ready for action. She could be coming back from a workout, exhausted as hell, but will instantly perk up and go in for round two if someone asked her to join them. It’s like she has an infinite fount of energy, because how else could she always be so active? She doesn’t sleep more than the average person or anything, neither does she bother with caffeine. 

Unlike Eri, I would absolutely call Dendra a gym rat. She’s all about the grind. Working out is her favorite hobby, her happy place. On top of that, she’s extremely welcoming to anyone trying to get into fitness, wanting to help them find what works best for them. Also unlike Eri, she’s much more open about wanting you to join her workout sessions, to the point that she’s willing to beg.

You can always tell when she’s gotten injured by the way she greets you after work. Normally, she’ll rush through your home to find wherever you are, nearly tackling you into a hug. It’s been a long day and she missed you. But when she’s been injured, she sheepishly walks through the door, careful to avoid walking into the room you are in fully to try and hide the bandages from your line of sight. 

In general, she’s just a really bad liar, and she lowers her head, like a child waiting to be scolded, when found out. She doesn’t like hiding things, especially from you, but she doesn’t want you to worry, either. Injury happens all the time in her line of work, making it something she’s grown accustomed to as well as expect. As such, she doesn’t want you worrying about each and every one of her scabs and bruises, even if she does like the way you dote on her.

She really likes to show her love for you. It’s not that she thinks you don’t know how much she cares for you, she just likes asserting it. Obviously, she does this through spending time with you, and being affectionate with you, and saying “I love you”, but she also likes to give you little gifts here and there. This obviously isn’t a problem, much less weird for a girlfriend to do. Rather, the issue is that food is included in that, and she’s an awful chef. She knows this, and tries to improve, but it’s still not great. Eat with caution.

Loves to talk about you to her friends. She doesn’t talk about you constantly, but it’s not uncommon for you to be brought up in conversation with the likes of Tulip and Miriam. Usually, it’s just in passing, but sometimes it’s about how she wants to do more for you, show her love in different ways. Tulip suggests getting dressed up and going out somewhere nice, but that isn’t really her style, and Miriam tries to help her improve her cooking skills, but the lessons never really go anywhere. Still, she values their support and advice, regardless of their effectiveness.

Like both of her friends, Dendra is big on taking care of yourself. It takes a lot of time and effort to keep your body happy and healthy, but it’s all worth it, because it will only result in you feeling better, and when you’re feeling better, it’s easier to uplift others. She greatly encourages you to start some kind of daily routine if you don’t already have one, and she will hold you to it.

In terms of slander, I’d say that she’s the type of person to easily forget dates. She’s got your birthday on lock, but that’s it. Expect her to show up to anniversaries and Valentines dates late with a bouquet of flowers she purchased on her way over.

Raifort, last but not least, is cryptic. I wouldn’t call her gothic, but she really reminds me of that one post about a goth being like “my love I crochet an anatomically correct heart for you” and her girlfriend responding with “aw thanks do u wanna go to target with me?” and I will not elaborate.

She’s got this veil of mystery about her, but that’s not intentional. She isn’t trying to make herself seem mysterious and cool, she just doesn’t like it when  people are all up in her business. Yes, she’s looking for the Treasures of Ruin. Yes, she knows that they’re dangerous and could cause incredible amounts of chaos to fall upon the region at large. No, she won’t tell you why she wants them. If she wanted you to know, she would’ve told you already.

She will blab to you constantly about history and legendaries. When she’s not teaching or planning lessons, she’s reading up about these kinds of things, trying to absorb as much information as possible. According to her, most people aren’t cultured enough to understand the incredible importance and allure of historical records, meaning you are one of the few people who will seriously listen to her sudden info dumps.

Along with that, she furiously rants about how much she hates present day events being, well, present. For instance, she’ll complain about the understanding and utilization of the terastallization phenomenon because it happened in recent history. To her, the present just isn’t all that interesting, especially when compared to the vast richness of the past, making her lose interest in otherwise exciting events.

As much as I hate this word, she has a ton of unintentional rizz. If we’re being honest, your relationship only came to be because you decided she was the one for you after she talked about history for an hour straight in your general direction. She put in no effort into catching your attention, but she managed to do that anyways. She agrees to give dating a shot because you seemed to value the past, as evidenced by you listening to her spiel, and that’s reason enough for her to give you the time of day. 

She isn’t a morning person, not in the slightest, which is obviously a conflict of interest due her being a school teacher. Her job requires her to get up and be at work in the early morning hours, resulting in her needing a lot of caffeine in order to stay awake, much less function properly. Because she’s so tired, she puts little effort into getting ready, hence why her hair is always messily tied up. She does, however, use care when putting on her favorite accessories.

Honestly? She’s a lowkey boomer at times. The internet is a wonderful invention that allows people to quickly gather information they otherwise might not have access to, and she recognizes that, but that doesn’t make her like it. She complains about kids these days relying on it too much to write their papers rather than going to the library and reading books, and about how they are always on their phones during class. She’s not anti-technology or anything, but that won’t stop her from saying shit like “it’s cause you’re always on that damn phone” when someone around, teacher or student, faces a problem.

It’s for that reason that she doesn’t text or call you all that often. She’d much rather come talk to you in person than use her phone if possible. If she can’t find you, she’ll text to ask where you are or when you’ll be available instead of just texting you what she wants to say. Her excitement for historical developments simply cannot be conveyed through modern technology.

Okay, slander (even though the above could already be considered slander whoopsie). Despite her hatred for the modern time period, she’s secretly a collector of Rae Dunn pottery. You know, the type of shit that’s, like, a coffee cup that says the word “coffee” on it in the most basic font imaginable? She loves that shit so much, and has spent an unreasonable amount of money to achieve her collection. No, she doesn’t have a problem, stop trying to insulate otherwise.

[mystwrites]

hello myst 😊 congratulations on hitting 200 followers!! May it grow even higher!

For my fic request, I'd like to suggest Ler!Mitsuri and Lee!Muichiro please.

2. 🫐 - let's hear those giggles!

3. 🌄 - Watching the sunrise.

The idea: Muichiro went to go watch the sunrise after patrol, and Mitsuri sees him on her way back from her own patrol and decides to join him. She reflects on how much he has changed after the Swordsmith Village attack, now that his memories have returned, and how he's slowly starting to behave a bit more like a child than an adult (I love how the fanbook mentions that the hashira were watching and observing the way he is changing with warm eyes 🥰). She notices his childish awe while he watches the sunrise, and mourns his loss of childhood due to all the pressure and responsibilities placed upon his shoulders as a hashira. She therefore wants to try and make him blissfully laugh, as a child should, and especially as Muichiro should because he deserves so much better 💔 So she tries to tickle him, and is pleased to find out that he is indeed very ticklish! She discovers that his back, sides, tummy, and his navel especially, are super ticklish 🤭 She is absolutely thrilled to see him laugh and smile so much, considering how he barely did in the past.

In the end, Mitsuri's tickling therapy really does help Muichiro to momentarily release the weight off his shoulders, and to just live in the moment as a carefree child spending quality time with a friend while watching the sunrise. A happy moment to add to his newfound and growing feeling of happiness.

Thank you for considering my request 💝 I know you mentioned that you get swamped with KNY requests 🙈 but I really wanted to share this cute idea with you 🫶

My 200 Followers Event is still Open!

After a rather uneventful night of patrolling with Muichiro, Mitsuri looked around for him after they finished checking in with Kagaya. However, the teen seemed to have disappeared.

It wasn’t unusual for Muichiro to wander off after a mission or a patrol. He liked being alone sometimes to collect his thoughts. However, Mitsuri couldn’t help but think about how much he was changing. He was starting to act more his age, like a fourteen year old should. Sure, he was still a sassy little guy when moments called for it but he was significantly happier.

Thinking of where he could run off to, Mitsuri remembered how once Tanjiro woke up, they all watched the sunrise after returning from the Swordsmith Village. Maybe Muichiro was there.

Sure enough, Muichiro was on top of the hill by his estate. Walking over, Mitsuri realized how down he actually looked. His eyes weren’t focused on anything in particular, not even the sliver of the golden sun rising above the horizon.

“Hey Tokito kun.” Mitsuri said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? I was looking for you.”

Muichiro jumped and turned to look at Mitsuri. “Oh! Y-yeah I’m okay.” he replied, relaxing as he saw it was one of his fellow hashira. “Just deep in thought. That’s all.”

Mitsuri hummed, acknowledging her comrade. “About what?”

Muichiro shrugged. “Just about how much I’ve missed out on and the fact that there’s a huge weight on me being the descendant of a swordsman.”

The way Muichiro’s eyes clouded over slightly showed Mitsuri he was a little distraught. He was only fourteen with a huge responsibility placed on his shoulders. They all had the same responsibility of protecting those who can’t fight but Muichiro was only a child, someone who shouldn’t be put on the front lines. Yet here he is fighting without fear and saving people who are weaker than him.

“I just wish I had a normal life sometimes.” he finally said, his eyes now looking at the grass and his fingers fiddling with the teal tips of his hair. “It’s a lot of responsibility and I only realized now how much rides on my shoulders…”

Had Muichiro always played with his hair when he was upset? Mitsuri didn’t know but she definitely noticed a difference in his behavior now. It was more appropriate for a boy of his age.

He was more talkative around those he was comfortable with. Gyomei and Muichiro had very long conversations over a nice steamed bowl of miso soup on the rare chances they could meet up after they returned from fighting.

He genuinely got along with Giyuu since they both shared a quiet demeanor and genuinely enjoyed hanging with Tengen and Rengoku if the Sound Hashira wasn’t being a “monkey” as Muichiro worded it.

He even got into an argument with Sanemi and Obanai at one point which caused everyone to hold in their laughter as Muichiro’s sass caused Sanemi to nearly explode while Obanai was too stunned to speak.

Muichiro also smiled way more than he used to. Mitsuri dares to even think he’s a bit chaotic with Tanjiro and the others all around his age. His laughter was still rare, but there was a rumor that aside from Rengoku who could make anyone laugh.

“It’s okay, Tokito kun.” Mitsuri reassured, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t miss out on too much. You still have so much to live for, even if you’re a Hashira with responsibilities.”

A squeak escaped Muichiro and he shifted away, his shoulders rising to trap Mitsuri’s hand. The two looked at one another for a few seconds before Muichiro stammered out a response.

“Y-your hand is kinda cold…”

“Oh? Sorry. I didn’t think it would be cold. I thought it was on the warmer side last night?”

“I get cold easily…”

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to analyze what was going on. Mitsuri passed Muichiro and his friends all chasing one another around and laughing. Maybe, just maybe…

She reached out and gently poked the teen in the ribs, gaining a violent flinch and a giggle. Grinning, Mitsuri grabbed Muichiro before he could flee, her hands latching onto his waist and gently squeezing.

The giggles that exploded were music to Mitsuri’s ears. Never in her life had she heard Muichiro laugh this loudly or hysterically.

“Let’s hear those giggles!~” she sang, poking all over the teen’s tummy.

Muichiro shook his head and covered his face with one hand while the other tried to shove Mitsuri’s hand away.

“I can find your giggle spot…it’s right…” There was a pause and Muichiro nervously peeked through his fingers only to shriek loudly as Mitsuri’s finger poked him in the bellybutton.

The sun continued rising until it was fully above the horizon. The sky changed from a deep purple and pink to a light pastel orange and blue. Muichiro’s giggles continued to escape and Mitsuri smiled, knowing that he was going to be resilient.

A/N: Thank you for the request! Sorry if this was a little short. It’s the final stretch of the semester and I’m tryna balance everything👍🏼

[moonyasnow]

Okay as promised to feed you headcanons on interactions we had:

Irina and Aiden:

-Given she has a love for warm bread I feel given the HSA harvest event he could have made her a nice treat with it... he is a god in cooking among my ocs so I feel it will hit her like a truck how good it is... and that from a guy who doesn't seem like it at all...

-Her seemingly more stuttery in her language and him being super protective makes me think of a situation where she is just nervous and overwhelmed and he stands before making sure that she is protected and gets a rest. Aiden does have that glare that can scare others away that bother her

-Its winter and they share a scarf, cause it be cute and I can see Aidens ears twitch being slightly red and silent

-Both know about hanging out with the wrong people at times, so I feel it be a time where Aiden invite her to his dorm and from the tree houses looking down they could probably both share trauma and eventually hold anothers hand in assurance as in now they got another really

Victor and Eiji

-The beginning of their meeting be interesting to explore cause... Eiji is a homunculus... neither human neither fae nor beast or mer people... he is just a puppet so probably by default Victor might have not be interested in him untill watching his behaviour and what is off about it likely... Eiji is obviously hiding his true nature... but the accesoires, the rabbit paw in his room and the late night going outs are indicators something

-Victor wouldn't fear his threats and probably dig deeper into what he does and what is his secret but keep his secret... in exchange of being allowed to spend time with him... Eiji is still tired of it but does admit he likes his fascination so he grows softer

-I feel however Victor sadly helps him to get even better at covering up so it might be a danger to others, but them being lovers is just a twisted fascination with morbid things for sure

Veronica and Flynn

-He names people he loves after gems so checking his list he might name her Aquamarine

-I feel in the beginning he slightly egged her on... like they had a sword fight against another and all this man did is dodge instead of attack with so much precision it was hard to keep up with and even if she won she just asked him why he didn't attack and he just answer like "Cause watching you is more beautiful." he is a bastard like that.

-Some of her lines on her profile makes me think she might really start to care when she knows how less he cares about himself cause man sees his own life not of value and she could smack sense into him that dead he is moreso worth nothing than alive, its all him living to use his life for others not for himself that drove him with his trauma that way

-He wouldn't say anything about her brother at all... he himself did some bad things so he aint one to judge, and him being a bird might even get him and Victor to also be on decent terms

-This man will literally bring her huge bouquets and always be there surprisingly to be kept in her mind... I said he is percistent and that is mostly for once he found someone that fully got his interest he works hard to impress them... even if he would be better dropping his mask and being himself but... old habits die hard

-Either way if they get together or close she would find out about silly things on him like... hiding he likes fastfood to seem fancy and being terrible at cooking

The Irina and Aiden stuff, just cute and wholesome as always

Just know it'd take a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT for her to share her own traumas

She's probably the least willing to out of all my OCs. Even more so than Victor surprisingly?

Partly because she just had it reinforced in her mind so many times over and over growing up that if she didn't always make whoever she was around happy everyone would leave, so she had to just bottle everything up But she wouldn't be as assertive about boundaries as Victor would be, so if she felt like there was any kind of pressure for her to open up that'd just make it harder for her. That 'the more you reassure, the less I trust' kinda vibe

Also partially because she just really doesn't want anyone to make a big deal out of it. Like, she's already been through it, so someone making a big deal out of it and being worried about her would just make her feel worse I think

There are legitimately AUs I've imagined her in where she never tells ANYONE about the stuff she went through as a kid

My first thought about Victor and Eiji is— I feel like Victor would think he was interesting from the word 'go'. Liars can usually spot another liar a mile away, after all.

And the moment he gets even the TINIEST hint that Eiji isn't human, he is LOCKED IN. He is going to figure out this man's secret if it kills him. He wouldn't actually mind if it did kill him actually. That'd just make him even MORE obsessed actually. Freak that he is, he even finds it sorta romantic???

Like 'damn this person really just killed me because I got close to figuring out their secret. They're the one' lol

And yeah...every single ship I've ever imagined Victor in before the OC x Canon-TWST ship I have him in has been him and the other person 100% just making each other worse lol

Oooo and with Flynn and Veronica— first of all, she is a MASSIVE tsundere. STUBBORN about trying to seem like she doesn't care and thinks everything and everyone is stupid.

But if he was actively flirty like that from the get-go she'd more turn her nose up and like cross her arms and go 'hmph!' and like look away like she couldn't care less. She wouldn't be actively flustered by that specific kind of flirting, but that she's not actively like 'get tf out of my sight rn' is as much indication as you're gonna get that she's fine with it.

Mostly just because she doesn't believe he's being sincere.

Oh but she would 100% fall for him egging her on to fight every single time, and when he did nothing but dodge she'd just get even more upset, and if he het her with that line then, oh, she's DONE Like-- face is so red, and she's so flustered she keeps trying to like insult him (bc that's the only way she knows to react to feeling attacked lol, and she definitely feels attacked-- just hasn't figured out it's not in a bad way yet) but she can't even speak

So she's just like screeching and stuttering incoherently like:

"What?! Wh-wha— you— what do you— th-that's not— I never said— you— I— bgaaah!"

And then she's just storming off because she has no idea how to deal with that lol

Oh and she'd have a big thing of like: "Where the hell did you get 'Aquamarine' from?" (even funnier if he just refuses to tell her why lol)

Oh, and an interesting thing about Veronica is that, I don't think she really cares too much for gifts? She likes gifts that she can use— like a tool, or equipment of some kind, or clothing, or food But, though she'd understand the sentiment behind it, I think she'd struggle to know what to do with the roses lol

And a thing I love about Veronica is that when she has her 'oh shit' moment of 'I would care if you died/were gone', like-- she is gonna move literal mountains for you.

You wormed your way under her skin and inside her heart (somehow) so now you have to take responsibility for that! And by 'responsibility' she means taking good enough care of yourself that she won't need to worry about losing you. Because it would absolutely DEVASTATE her. She knows this about herself. That's why she's so cautious with letting people close to her in the first place

She is gonna force you to take care of yourself whether you like it or not

And honestly...I can see her just buying him fast food lol

She sees straight through that and does NOT have the patience to play along with his facade, she does not care how hard he tries to fake it because it does not work on her lol

[realmackross]

PARTIES: @contemporarybardess, @realmackross TIMING: Sometime in the spring SUMMARY: Elora & Mack have a Twilight themed date night where some secrets are revealed... WARNINGS: Just a soft thread with a sire and a zombie! ♥

It had been a while since Mackenzie had gotten to do anything just fun and cute with Elora. In fact, it had felt like it had been months. And she knew it probably had to do something with the fact that the two still didn’t live together, but Mack just wasn’t ready. The one year anniversary of Brody’s death had literally just passed, and she still couldn’t bring herself to fully commit every part of her life to Elora; though she clearly wasn’t going to tell Elora that. She loved the woman with most of her heart, but moving on still felt wrong.

However, tonight, she was going to make it a point to spend time with her girlfriend, and she knew just the place to go…

“I really hope you like sparkly vampires. It’s the only thing showing, and I thought that if we got bored of seeing Robert Pattison’s sparkling peeled potato skin, we could just make out.” Mackenzie looked over at Elora with a hopeful grin as she shut off the engine on her Mini Cooper. The first movie hadn’t quite started yet, so there was still time for concessions, bathroom breaks, and finding a spot in the grass up front with the blankets she brought, if Elora didn’t want to stay in the car the whole time.

—

Finally, just a cozy date night watching a cheesy vampire movie with her girlfriend. No violence. No cosmic bullshit cutting in. Just Elora and Mackenzie…and the other people watching the Twilight marathon, of course. While she always got butterflies whenever she saw her still, quality alone time that wasn’t interrupted was rare. They both had very…busy and eventful lives after all. 

“Well I used to have a crush on that sparkly potato skin when I was younger. But I’d never turn down a makeout session, you know that.” It was a bit embarrassing to admit she was a recovering Twihard, but she also knew pretty much every girl went through that phase at one point or another. 

“Y’know, I was expecting a better turnout” she said, looking out at the crowd of people. The turnout seemed decent, but definitely didn’t seem to match the fervor the online petition had implied would be present. “I guess not everyone can tough it out through all the movies, eh? Can’t blame them, I’m not so sure we’ll make it either.” She was hoping that they’d get too tired to give Mack an excuse to spend the night at Elora’s place. Or for Elora to spend the night at Mack’s. Either way, they hadn’t had much time co-habitating and she definitely wanted to make it happen. It just felt more cozy and couple-y.

—

When Mack had heard that Elora had a crush on Edward Cullen, a wide grin spread across her cheeks, “Wait…what? Were you a Twihard, Elora Spiros?” Mackenzie had never really gotten the appeal of the movies, at least not when they had first released, considering she was only ten years old. But by the time she had turned thirteen, it was all she could talk about. She had caught the tail end of the obsession, but it didn’t matter. The pasty sparkly vampires and werewolf who wore jorts had their hooks in her heart, and she wanted more. It would take another year or so for her to actually grow out of it, but rumor has it, there’s still some of Mackenzie Ross’s (TwihardGirlie98) fanfic still floating around the internet today.

“I…Okay, I’ll admit it. I was a Twihard, too. But like at the tailend of the hype, because I was ten when the first movie came out, and my parents wouldn’t let me read the books until I was a little older…” If she could blush, she would, “Who was your favorite character?” This date was already so telling, but she loved it. It made her feel so much closer to Elora. Something she needed out of fear that they might have been drifting apart.

“You know, I’m surprised too, but it’s probably because everyone and their mother and brother own all the movies and don’t want to be bothered by sitting in a car for three years just to see Edward Cullen sparkle and brood on the big screen.” Mack laughed softly. “Besides, I would rather us not make it…if you catch my drift…” She grinned coyly at Elora.

—

With mock embarrassment, Elora put her hands up and said “Guilty as charged! Me and pretty much everyone else I went to middle school with.” She then caught herself, as she technically didn’t go to school with any of them. “Well, the girls who were the same age as me, I should say. It was like some hive mind virus that targeted tween girls specifically. It was sort of some weird fever dream we all woke up out of years later.” All of her Twilight merch was long gone now, burned up with pretty much everything else, but she hung on to a lot of her New Moon T-shirts until well after her teenage years. Those times were fun to look back on, even if they did make her cringe more than anything. 

“I knew it! You totally seem like the type! No offense, of course. Nobody’s immune from the Twilight phenomenon, not even the infallible Ms. Mackenzie Ross.” She thought about Mack’s question for a little while. There were so many characters, but not many that were particularly good or likable. “I like the dad. What was his name? Charlie? He had a good head on his shoulders and only wanted what was best for Bella. Took the whole existence of vampires and werewolves surprisingly well. I mean, mildly freaked out of course, but didn’t get hung up on it too much! The real question is…Team Jacob or Team Edward?”

“I wouldn’t mind cutting out early either” Elora said, knowing fully well what her girlfriend had in mind. It had been a while since they had a chill night just to themselves, and while watching bad vampire romance was a good date night it wasn’t quite what Elora had wanted. “Let’s at least make it to the baseball scene from the first movie. After that everything goes downhill anyway”.

—

Mack laughed at Elora. She knew exactly what the other woman was talking about though, because she had witnessed its phenomena, even growing up on movie sets. She could remember the adults on set talking about it and trying to ask them what they were talking about. Even some of her younger co-stars had been allowed to bask in the glory of its success, but Mack had been left on the sidelines, until she wasn’t anymore and her room was plastered from head-to-toe. But the real height of her obsession came, when she was allowed to attend the Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 premiere. She hadn’t recalled the memory until now, sitting next to her girlfriend while having this conversation, and she honestly wasn’t quite sure if she had wanted to admit it out of the fear of being teased for eternity by Elora, “Yeah, yeah…the dad was cool. Nice guy in real life too. And you’re right. He did keep a pretty level head. You know…he kind of reminds me of Kaden. Have you two met? He wouldn’t get the reference, but if you ever meet him, tell me he doesn’t remind you of Charlie.”

Mackenzie was trying to stall, but it was getting harder and harder, because even she wanted to laugh at herself and the situation, “Oh come on…why did you have to ask me that?” She paused thinking, before finally giving the redhead an answer, “So I was Team Edward all the way growing up, but there is some bias because I had worked on a movie with Robert before, but now that I’m an actual member of the undead, I’m gonna have to go Team Jacob. Who wouldn’t love a nice, warm fuzzy werewolf to snuggle up to on cold, winter nights. Any chance you might be able to grow some fur? Perpetually cold dead girl over here.” She let out a snort, before playfully nudging her girlfriend to let her know she was kidding.

“Totally fine with waiting for the baseball scene. It’s like the best part of the movie, but I have a tiny bit of embarrassing information to share, and I don’t know if it will make you want to cut out sooner or not leave at all…” Mackenzie forced down the nerves that had formed in her throat as she pulled out her phone and searched online for something. When she finally found it, she quickly handed off her phone to Elora and turned away from the window. It was a video of a little Mackenzie at the Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere answering everybody’s favorite question – the one Elora had just asked. And as she heard her voice fill the car, she couldn’t help but put her head down in embarrassment.

—

She wasn’t sure why, but Elora’s eyes widened a bit when Mack mentioned Charlie being a nice guy in real life as well as on screen. Sure, she was a major celebrity who had met pretty much all of the huge A-listers already, but did she really mean to tell her she’d met the Charlie Swan?

“Man, I’ll never get over you just knowing people. It must be so cool to know what people are like off camera. Well…the ones who are nice at least” She had heard talk of a Kaden in town, but had never gotten the pleasure of actually meeting him. “Nah, I’ve never met him. Nice guy then, I’m assuming? It’s nice to see decent guys around here, they aren’t super common.” It was true. There a lot of shady folks hanging around here, so knowing who was friend or foe was very important information to have. 

“Well I’m glad you finally came around to the side of reason! Jacob was so much better for her, I can’t believe she went with the crusty vampire man instead.” She laughed a bit at the fur comment, knowing that feathers just wouldn’t fill the same purpose for her. “I mean, there technically is a way I can make myself warm, it would just be very painful for me and probably burn you to a crisp. So…sorry but your dreams of a furnace girlfriend are going to have to be put on the back burner.”

She couldn’t help but crack a smile as she saw a young Mack, fully human and full of life, giving her interview. She was so young then, she always found it interesting seeing people she met as adults when they were children. “That’s adorable! You were so excited for the sparkly man! Also…really puts into perspective how long you’ve been a star for. I guess being a fan girl is a little different when you know the people personally, huh?”

—

Mackenzie had learned early on that celebrities were just people. It had come after an embarrassing moment on one of the first sets she had worked on, when she had gotten so nervous to be around one of the leading stars that she started to cry. It had stopped production, but the person she was working with had been patient with her and had spoken to her in a way that reassured her that everything was okay, and to remember that even the biggest Hollywood stars were just people and this was just a job, and at the end of the day they were all just friends having fun together. Of course, that worked until Mack grew older and started to realize that not all actors felt the same way; some who thought they hung the moon. But at the end of the day, Mack had learned to be kind and humble, and whenever there was someone feeling nervous, she was going to treat them with the same respect she had learned as a child, “At the end of the day, they’re all just people. Even the ones who think they’re God’s greatest gift to man.” She smiled warmly at Elora, before changing the subject to Kaden, “But yeah, if you want me to introduce you to him sometime, just let me know.”

Elora’s comment about Edward and Jacob made Mack laugh, “Crusty vampire man. That’s so accurate it hurts though. That’s why there’s fanfiction. So all your literary and movie dreams come true, when the plot doesn’t go the way you want it to.” She couldn’t believe she had just admitted that either. This trip to Twilight was proving to be more embarrassing for Mack than anything else, but she wouldn’t have it any other way, “You know, that's a shame though that you’d burn me to a crisp. I guess I’ll just stick with my fifteen heated blankets.” She was being serious too. “You heard me.”

It was a relief when the video was over, and Mack could put her phone away. If Elora wanted more, she could google it for herself, “Yeah…mention that, and I’ll disown you, Elora Spiros.” She was joking of course. “I mean, I’ll be honest – despite what I told you earlier, I still bragged to the few friends that I had that I knew Edward Cullen. I couldn’t help myself though. I was young and dumb.”

Looking up, Mackenzie noticed the movie was about to start, “Did you want anything, before this thing starts?” She was honestly looking forward more to the makeout sesh and what might follow then watching a movie about sparkly vampires.

—

“Yeah, everyone’s just another person. It’s just that some people need to be reminded that they’re only people.” Elora knew all too well what some members of the rich and powerful thought of themselves. Some people thought themselves to be gods of some degree, and demanded they be treated as such. “I’d like that. The more friends the better in this town, that’s for sure.” 

Elora knew about fanfiction all too well. She had written some herself, mostly when she was a teenager through her early 20s. It’s not a phase of her life she’s proud of, but if Mack was willing to show an embarrassing moment from her past then Elora figured she should be too. “Well, since we’re sharing. I know quite a bit about fanfiction and writing the ending I want. I actually used to post on AO3 a lot…I kind of had a problem actually. I just had a lot of my own ideas on what the canon should be so I wrote it into existence!” She knew there were a lot of fanfiction writers out there so saying she wrote wasn’t the most embarrassing thing in the world. However, she would fight tooth and nail to stop Mack from actually reading what she wrote. Her screenname wasn’t exactly easy to guess. 

“How could you NOT brag?! I don’t care how famous you are, every girl that age had the hots for Mr. Pattinson. And now he’s off being Batman, times really have changed.” She thought, thinking about how his acting skills really did have a huge glow up after the Twilight movies wrapped. He was a good actor when he wasn’t sparkling like a diamond. 

“We can just share some popcorn. I don’t want to eat too much, especially if we have…y’know…plans for after this.” The baseball scene couldn’t come fast enough. Although Elora had to admit she’d probably genuinely enjoy watching the movie up until that point.

—

“I’m not like that am I?” Mackenzie looked at Elora. She had come to this town hoping and praying she wouldn’t be recognized, but knew she probably would. Of course, the mansion out on World’s End Isle probably didn’t make her seem very humble or down-to-Earth, but Mackenzie tried to be. She really did. “I just…I don’t want to be perceived as an asshole.” Now, she was paranoid. Did Elora ever think of her that way?

Mack’s smile had dropped as she worried, until Elora had brought up AO3 and fanfiction, “Wait…what?! You wrote fanfiction? I want to read it! I showed you my embarrassing red carpet video, and look, I’ll even tell you my screenname, because I’m sure my stuff is still out there, if you tell me yours or at least share some of your fanfiction!” Her sad face turned to one of a puppy dog pout, she wanted to see this fanfiction dammit!

“I mean, I guess you have a point, and he really did glow up, didn’t he. Now, he’s got a kid. Good for him, you know? But if you think this is going to take my mind off of you admitting that you wrote fanfiction, you’re wrong.” It was hard talking about anything else now. “Look, I’ll go get the popcorn and soda…” She paused thinking on Elora’s words with a grin, “And nothing else…and while I’m gone, you can pull up AO3…accidentally leave your phone on the dash, and I can be all…whoops! What is this?!” Mackenzie put the puppy dog pout on and stared at her girlfriend.

—

 Elora felt her heart stop for a moment at Mack’s question. In truth, she was one of the realest and most down to earth people she had ever met. “Not at all!” She blurted out quickly. “Quite the opposite, actually. I’ve met some fairly well recognized bands and artists and there’s just so many pompous douches in the entertainment industry.” She then grabbed hold of Mack’s hand and looked into her eyes. “But not you. Never you.” 

Elora’s panic soon gave way to embarrassment as it seemed Mack wouldn’t let her off the hook about her fanfic days. She wouldn’t mind sharing if it was any good. But making a fic where the Cullen clan enter the World Series of Poker and titling it “High Stakes” isn’t exactly the peak of literature. Still, Mack did have a point. If she could see a mildly embarrassing red carpet video, they could cringe at some bad fics together

“Fiiine, you win. But be nice! I was a teenager. I think…maybe early 20s. Either way, I’m a much better writer now!” She begrudgingly opened up to her old screenname on AO3 and set her phone on the dash, resigning herself to her fate. If she can love me after reading these she’ll love me through anything, she thought to herself with a smirk. She was starting to get peckish and hoped she’d come back with their popcorn soon.

—

Mackenzie had immediately felt relief at Elora’s words in regards to her fame and the way she had treated people. There had easily been the exceptions, like Jade. But even with Jade, Mack had originally tried to be nice. But the loving grip Elora had on Mack’s hand solidified just how right she had gotten it when she had chosen to start falling in love with this woman. Someone who had chosen to see the real Mackenzie Ross for more than just a celebrity.

A giddiness had taken over the young actress though when Elora finally agreed to let Mack see the fanfic, and like a child excited on Christmas morning, Mackenzie hurried off to get the popcorn.

And just like that she was back in a flash and right back in her seat next to Elora, “Here’s your popcorn. Now gimme gimme gimme!” She was impatient like a child until she noticed the phone sitting on the dash, and quickly pulled it back. For the next hour, Mackenzie was going to sit and read the beautiful works of art that her girlfriend had gifted to the world, while the inspiration for such works played in the background.

—

As her girlfriend scrolled through some of the worst fanfiction she can remember reading in a very long time, Elora simply tried to focus on the movie. It actually wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be, there were some genuine sweet and entertaining moments. Nevertheless, it was still Twilight. The cheesiness would always be there to stop it from being more than just a guilty pleasure watch. 

At long last the fated baseball scene ran its course, and the pair shot each other a knowing look as their deadline had finally arrived. 

“Well,” Elora began, “Shall we head back to my place for a little night cap? Maybe we can do something less embarrassing than reading my old fics.”

—

Mackenzie had squealed with delight, throwing Elora a glance of genuine enjoyment every now and then, sometimes just stopping to catch the redhead in a moment of intrigue. God, she’s beautiful. The way the light from the screen accented the silhouette of her face and more had easily made Mackenzie ready to leave, and when the time had finally come, and Elora spoke, the zombie was in full agreement with the idea, “Babe, I might take inspiration from your old fics.”

Leaning over to give Elora her phone back, Mackenzie snuck in a quick kiss, before starting the engine of her Mini Cooper. Giving Edward and his ragtag team of vampires one last look, she peeled out of the parking lot with her girlfriend ready to go home and make a little magic of their own and the fifty things of glitter Mackenzie kept stashed in her bathroom for special occasions.

[zephrunsimperium]

really solid analysis of ford's reluctance to say "thank you" to stan! just want to throw my own two cents on top of all the great points you made already– i think some of it also came from a place of stubbornness to not give stan what he wanted. hell, had stan not made such a big deal about it right out the gate, ford might've even thanked him of his own volition (or maybe not– he was pretty upset about being dragged back right when he could've defeated bill/the portal even being reactivated, after all) but ford spent the greater part of 40 years believing stan was selfish and only did things that benefitted himself no matter who he hurt in the process, and for stan to (in ford's eyes) disregard all of his warnings and drag him back just to hold it over his head and demand gratitude for saving him from a situation he never would've been in had he not contacted stan in the first place? i think that only drove that idea further home. plus, you know, stubborn bitter old men be stubborn and bitter 🤷‍♀️

Oh, absolutely. That’s what happens when you don’t talk about your emotions; the hurt doesn’t just go away if you pretend it doesn’t exist. Allow me to go on a tangent: (You have woken a beast, Anon)

Anger. God, do I have a lot to say about anger. It is an emotion I am acutely familiar with. But the thing about anger is that it is a secondary emotion; a reaction, and quite often a cover up for fear or hurt. Because anger is an emotion that makes us feel powerful and can give us a shadow of the control we crave.

With that in mind, I bring your attention to toxic masculinity. How often do we see a male character undergo a tragedy or loss of some sort and react with anger or even physical violence? So often, reactions like this are praised by the narrative; the death or tragedy was what pushed the hero to defeat the villain! But the fact is, situations like that are not all that common and resorting to anger and violence after tragedy is never healthy.

So how does this relate to Ford? Well, I have serious doubts that the brand of masculinity he was exposed to growing up was particularly healthy. He spends most of his life heavy with bitterness and anger. Because being bitter and angry hurts so much less than actually cleaning out the wound.

(If discussion about toxic masculinity and masculinity in media interests you, I highly recommend you check out Pop Culture Detective on YouTube. Here is a particularly good video of his: https://youtu.be/kGxW2toAvzc)

It’s okay to be angry. I would even say that anger is often healthy. But it’s definitely not healthy to bathe in your anger and let it consume you.

Moving on though… I do hesitate to label Stan as bitter. Ford, definitely, no doubt about it. But Stan… That man answered a two word plea without any hesitation after no contact for a decade, ready and willing to forgive, forget, and move on. He spent thirty years working his ass off to get Ford back and when he does come back, Stan seems overjoyed and relieved. (Until Ford punches him, that is.) I don’t think those are the actions of a bitter man. Of course, like Ford, Stan has decades of emotions he needs to work through, but I absolutely think he did a better job of handling things than Ford.

[fipindustries]

super sad super raw break up feelings under the cut, feel free to read if you want

here we are once again, for the third time in a row that a trans girl breaks my heart.

the worst part is always ground zero.

i want to find a life partner, i want to find that person i can live with in the same house and build a life together with and grow old next to them.

every time i meet someone it felt like winning the lottery. it felt like i somehow magically found that one person in the world that could get me. that could tolerate me. that i could click with. i felt like i had that one shot and i had better not screw it up.

maybe im a hopeless old fashioned romantic with an outdated view of relationships but i want a marriage.

but she wasnt it, she couldnt be it. i never really had a shot. it was just not meant to be.

the worst part is being back at ground zero.

is knowing that they are not there any more. is knowing that i am alone once again, with the ensuing fear that every time it happens it will get harder to stop being alone. is the ensuing fear that i wont be able to find anyone better, that i wont be able to find anyone that can fill that void again. it the exaustion that comes with knowing that if i ever find someone else again i will have to start from scratch, i will have to go one more time through the whole rigamarole of telling them about my life, learning about their life. building trust from zero, building a life. how can it feel real again after it failed so many times. it felt like the real deal so many times before and it never ended up being it. it makes one despair of ever finding it.

is just more baggage turning me into more spoiled goods

i want to have what i had but i cant see myself having it with anyone else, i cant bring my self to try and build it up again with some stranger. my biggest fear in life is not to die, but to die alone and every time im back here again that feel becomes all the more real.

the worst part is finding my self back in ground zero.

two times i tried to build something serious and long lasting with someone else and in both occasions that person got bored with me, got over me, couldnt bring themselves to love me the way i wanted to be loved. they changed in some way, or i changed in some way, and whatever they used to feel for me got dulled and weak.

am i asking too much here? are my demands unreasonable? am i being entitled, do i have ridiculous standards? why do they people i love eventually grow distant, eventually grow tired of being touched, why do i reach a point where i have to ask them to spend time with me and they only wearily agree to do it as a favor to me not because they want to? why do i keep finding myself in situations where i have to keep hearing my partner say "no" to favors i ask for and me having to graciously brush it off as if its no big deal and of course they are fully within their rights to say no and, no, it doesnt bother me at all that is the 6th time theyve done it in a row despite me doing everything they ask for. why do i keep finding myself feeling alone despite being in a relationship. why do i keep finding myself in a situation where i feel like i am imposing on my partner merely by asking to spend time with them? is this normal? am i doing something wrong here?

not going to lie, this last relationship was a bit of a mess, there was a lot of arguments, a lot of crying, a lot of little insatisfactions and things not fitting quite right here and there and lots of little incompatibilities that kept popping up. and yet this is not relief, she was perfect all the same, she was great, she was amazing, she was fantastic. she was funny and so incredibly bloody smart and so so silly. and she was so challenging, she would bring a perspective that was so starkly in conflict with everything i believed in, she made me question so many fundamental things about the way i view life and philosophy and art. she was so fucking cute, she was downright adorable, specially when she insisted that she wasnt, and she was so jaded and so raw and weird and insane and uncomfortable and sinister and unpredictable. she was so full of words and of creativity and imagination and so impressively cultured. she was dark and intense and she would glimmer like hidden embers beneath ash covered obsidian.

she was fucking crazy man, she was a crazy bitch, that is why i loved her so much.

and now she is gone.

[healing-and-free]

Some things I made this week:

But first, a note. I make lots of things from scratch and I grow what food I can, not out of fear but out of love and I desire to learn important life skills and to provide myself and my family with the best tasting and best quality of foods and of life that I can on a budget. It’s more sustainable and better for the planet because I have less waste. It also provides time for my kids to work alongside me to learn these skills but to also spend quality time together.

I made two loaves of sourdough, peanut and cashew butter, rosemary lavender spray for my hair, and I dried out some old baguette to make breadcrumbs so I can make meatballs this weekend.

As I do all these things I fight past the memories of voices of my family saying why bother, why work so hard, what a waste of time. But I’ve always been different than them.

I love them, I get along with them, but I’m not one of them - not really. And they aren’t like me, and I don’t expect that from them. Even when they expect it from me. I won’t let it weigh me down anymore.

[elisysd]

Marry me?

Masterlist

Four years and a half after Paris

Ethan and Julia - 29 years old

They hadn’t gone to Singapore other than for work. So when Julia had asked Ethan if he wanted to spend a few days there, as a sort of trip down memory lane, he had been surprised. Surprised but very happy. It was always a place that bore a lot of history and a lot of meaning for him. He didn’t know how but Julia had managed to book the exact room they were in when the lines had started to blur.

They had spent their few days of break, wandering the streets, trying new foods and visiting places they had never gone to. They had laughed, they had talked, they had taken cute and silly pictures together, promising to find them a nice place on the wall, they had kissed and loved each other, they had reminisced a lot and reflected on their life.

“What would you say to the Julia of five years ago?” Ethan asked as they were sitting on a bench in a park.

“I would tell her to trust the process. And I would give her a nice slap because god, was she stupid!”

“I will not deny or confirm this affirmation.” he laughed, kissing the side of her head.

“But I don’t regret it. At the end of the day, we are better people now. All the hardships and everything, it wasn’t for nothing.”

“I would have liked to not have my heart completely shattered in the process, though. But you’re right. I’m proud of us.”

“I planned a little something for us… it’s not for no reason that I asked if you wanted to come to Singapore.” she confessed.

“It’s okay to feel nostalgic, Joolsie. And I can’t wait to see whatever you brought us here for.”

She smiled and got up, holding out her hand for you to take it and he followed her lead. They ended up in an area that was unknown to Ethan and he strangely looked at her. It was a dead-end street, between two buildings.

“I feel your confusion.” she stated.

“Where are we?”

“This is where the paddock for the Grand Prix is built. And this is where your ice bath was five years ago.” she explained.

“I see, the famous ice-bath. But I see none, here.”

“My point is, you’ve always said that Singapore was the starting point of our story. That it held a lot of meaning for us and I think you’re right, somehow. I’ve started falling in love with you here, and I want to keep falling for you there. You’re my safe space Ethan, you’re grounding me, you’re the only person who knows my deepest and darkest secrets and fears. Truth be told, I don’t want to share them with anyone but you. You complete me, you’re my better half. And if I want to run, I want to run to you. If I want to cry, I hope it will always be in your arms. If I want to laugh, I want to hear you by my side. I want to keep loving you, I want to grow old with you. So Ethan Verstappen, would you be okay with becoming my husband and allowing me to annoy you for the rest of our lives?” she ended up asking, getting a little box out of her pocket.

The ring was everything Ethan loved. Simple, black with a few sparkling diamonds engraved in it. It wouldn’t stand out next to the ones he was already wearing.

“Can you please, say something, I’m starting to freak out.”

“Yes. A million times, yes, Julia. Of course I want to be your husband.” he replied as she was putting the ring around his finger. “I love you. More than anything and I have to tell you that I was actually planning something at the end of the season. I’ve already bought the ring. You were just faster than me in proposing.”

“So, we’re really going to do it… We really are getting married.” she whispered as Ethan pressed his forehead against hers.“You’re stuck with me, Joolsie. But this time, you chose it.'' He kissed her like he had never kissed her before.

Author's note: A little announcement might be coming up later on today.... stay tuned, hehehe.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[yellowcry]

Hidden and left to rot

"Where are you two going?" Kelley started at her younger family members, that were sneaking into her mom's room Gael looked at her nervously. "I want to fond if there's something wrong. Tía Isabela is expessially upset lately." Kelley starled. "Really? You know what? I'm going to help"

Cracked au

CW: Potentially sensenitive topic

Her hands shook as she kept reading the old diary. She felt like her heart was stabbed with every word. 

Her mom didn't stop loving her dad in the last few years. She never loved him. The only reason behind this marriage was because Bisabuela forced her to. If it weren't for her, Mama and Papa would never marry. Kelley just wouldn't exist. And this realization struck her hard. Her whole life existed only because Isabela was forced to marry a person she never wanted to. Carry a child she never wanted.

She felt her breathing getting heavier as her eyes were reading the neat text again and again. Where mama cried about the upcoming wedding. Not because of happiness, but because she was going to spend her life with Mariano. How she kept insulting a non-existing child that she was carrying under her growing belly. Nineteen-years-old could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Her mom didn't want her. And this realization hurts way too much.

A moment later, this painful sadness started to boil up inside, getting ready to turn into anger. Why didn't mom think about everyone else's feelings? She betrayed Dad, used his love just to make herself a good girl. It wasn't fair for him... For anyone.

Would Isabela force her to marry someone too? Kelley's hand clenched into fists without her wanting to.

"What is wrong?" She gritted her teeth at her cousin's voice. Of course, Gael already sensed her anger... or sadness... or whatever she felt. What did she feel?

"Kelley, what is this?" Leisha asked nervously, not being used to her sister getting so emotional. With a blank face, the eldest passed the diary and looked away, not bothering to see how the teen's face widened in shock. Kelley really didn't want to see her, anyone...

Gael winced in panic as he read the diary as well. He wanted to find something to understand why Tia was unhappy, not to hurt his primo segundo. "Hey, Kelley, it's okay."

"It's fucking not!" She yelled, stomping her foot in rage. Nothing was normal right now. The diary, the truth—Kelly'd rather forget this all. Why couldn't he just shut up and leave those problems be? Apparently, this shit started way before their whole generation was born! Why didn't Gael ignore it like adults always did?

"Listen..." He started trying to help, but Kelley didn't listen to him. She grabbed the diary out of her sister's hands, heading outside.

"Hey!" Leisha let out an indignant yelp that was left unnoticed by Kelley. She had better things to do.

 

Kelley walked down the stairs, seeing how her mama was fixing the flowers in a vase next to their family photo. "Listen here, mother." She yelled angrily; the word'mother' was bursting with sarcasm. Isabela looked surprised for a moment, but soon her expression got strict.

"What's with your tone?"

"Oh, nothing!" She rolled her eyes, glowing quietly, as she stood right in front of Isabela. "Just this." She threw the diary on a cabinet with a loud slap.

"What is..." Isabela started, but her voice got stuck as realization hit her. She gasped in shock, and her face became fearful. "Lelly..." 

The young woman interrupted her. "Don't you fucking 'Lelly' me!" Her voice turned into screaming. How could she use those stupid nicknames right now? Isabela didn't call her 'Lelly' for years. "You lied to me!" She screamed,  anger was boiling up.

"I didn't lie to anyone!" Isabela yelled, causing her daughter to scoff. "And you had no right to look through my stuff!" She demanded, this time a bit more confidently.

"Well, excuse me!" Young woman threw her hands into the air. She felt like her heart was filled with poison and it kept leaking through her brain, splitting out. "It's just really fun to read how your own mother says that she hates you more than anything!" 

"Do you think I've enjoyed this?! I never wanted kids!" 

"Thank you for finally admitting it!" Kelley scoffed, towering over her mother. "You're manipulative bitch!

Isabela's eyes sparkled in rage that she had buried down for so long. "You have no right to talk with me like this." Right now, she didn't feel like she was in her forties; she felt like an angry teenager, filled with hatred.

Her daughter crossed her arms. "Why should I care?! You said you wished I was never born." She wiped her eyes, feeling the tears on her cheeks.

"It's not like this..."

"THEN WHAT IS IT?" Kelley yelled so loudly that she was sure that everyone in the house would hear it. "You're just was too weak to do what you want!"

"...Hey... Can we... just discuss it?" Both women winced at Gael's unsure demand as he slowly walked down to them. "I can feel you two are upset...".

Isabela's voice dropped, but it was still filled with anger. "I am fine."

"I'm not going to just discuss it!" Kelley breathed out. "This bitch deserves to be shouted at."

"IF YOU CALL ME LIKE THIS ONE MORE TIME..."

"Please!" Gael begged, as the true son of his mother, he preferred to keep things calm, but both Isabela and Kel ignored him.

"What about papa?!" Kelley was indignant, clenching her shaking fists. "What would he feel if he knew that you never loved him?" 

It just wasn't fair. Not to her, not to anyone. 

"Do you think it's fun being married to a person you never loved?" Isabela gasped in annoyance. "I wished to be free for years! But sometimes you can't be selfish! Sometimes you have to do things for the family's sake! Even if you hate it!"

Gael stood between them, spreading his arms to create distance between mother and daughter. "Let's all take a deep breath and talk it through." He begged, trying to calm down both women. 

"You know what? I don't care!" Kelley muttered through her teeth. "I'm going into my room. Not like you would care anyway."  

Isabela and Gael stared at how she rushed upstairs. A few seconds later, both of them heard a loud sound of the slamming door.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

l, i was wondering if u could give me some suggestions on an issue i am facing.. its been 6 months since me n ex broke up (on winter solstice nonetheless..) for very good reasons after 3 yrs, we really were doing some damage to each other for a while , triggering each others core wounds like Crazy. i reaally was in a bad place for the whole last yr of it and now really do feel so much better being out. however we lived together for yrs and they were who i was closest to for so long, n we were each others first love once before at 16/17. i felt just anger for months, but now its residing and i just feel soooo tied to them still… i do not want to get bacj w them, but so much of my time now is spent in deep nostalgia of the happy/quiet moments, wanting the good of those times back even tho logically i know its Impossible. wishing i could go back and do it again. wanting to reach out even tho i know it would only be detrimental. i was wondering if u have any tips on balancing this miss with continuing to move on, as i know i must finally do so fully — i feel the anger was keeping me moving forward, but now that its waning i fear getting stuck in this state. i feel as tho this is why we got back together to begin w. anyhow thank u as always fer ur infinite wisdoms x dog bless

hello <3 i understand... both of us had big endings at winter solstice lol what kind of assertive force was in the air back then i wonder ! here's my advice althoug it seems to me u already know what's right for you so it's sort of just reinforcement of your feelings ---

first thing i want to get out of the way is that if you and this person were meant to be together i believe the breakup never would/ve happened & there would've never been a single doubt in your mind about this partnership. I can say this after spending a few years living with slimbo, like, We endlessly grow closer, our bond is fully forged in stability and peace and understanding. There is not a single moment in the past few years of being in their presence that i've had a single doubt of our longevity. We do not make each other's life hell in even the slightest sense. if something comes up we work it out within that day and it never carries over to the next. And that rarely occurs.

Previously in life i did not know such harmony could exist, but now that i know, i look at all my old relationships like damn, i can't believe i ever thought that person could've been "the one" when we clashing so often. And i mean it's not like i could've known better because for most of us, we grow up in families that face much conflict, you just think Oh this is normal right? People fight and thats normal, there's tension and it's normal. Well now i know it is NOT normal and when you find someone who's really ready to meet you where you're at it creates harmony, true harmony, even if external conflict arises it brings you closer, you can solve any problem together, you're on the same level.

(Also i'm not sure how old you are but i think it's super rare to find this type of harmony until a little later in life because youth is confusing & people are still figuring themselves out, gaining the maturity it takes to be a reliable partner and whatnot).

But what i feel is happening for you and this person is that you went through all these formative experiences together, and maybe you're missing the rush of that more than you miss the actual person. Like maybe you're just bored xD that's not meant to sound harsh im just being real. boredom often leads to nostalgia. a little nostalgia here and there can be fun & transmuted into new experiences but being overly absorbed in nostalgia is not conducive to growth, only stagnation. do not fall victim to halo effect just because you're bored or lonely!!

If you were to get back with this person it would 1) block the way for someone who truly matches your frequency to come through, and 2) Likely your repressed anger and resentment towards that person would begin to infiltrate the relationship again pretty quickly. It's not fair to them, nor is it fair to yourself, it would only prolong the suffering.

So i think to move forward from this experience you could try a few things. Firstly i think you're being called to really go inwards, figure out why you feel bored right now, why you feel something is lacking in your life when you have to be alone? Learn how to fill your time with more things you enjoy, becoming stronger in your self concept through introspection, hobbies, leisure, just having fun by yourself. When you can do stuff like this it actually makes you very attractive & radiant in a way that magnetizes people who are also pretty solid in themselves. U just can't really have a good healthy relationship unless both of you are solid and Know Yourselves like thats just a universal truth.

And another thing i'd consider trying is like, meditations where you envision yourself cutting the chord that energetically binds you to this person from your past. That is if you want to get a little woowoo with it. But i really believe in the effectiveness of those exercises. Don't rush into it, just like, when you feel truly ready, let it go. You can still hold your memories and honor your experience with them without wanting them to be in your physicality again. There are exes who i haven't spoken to in yeeeears who i actually can look upon much more fondly now that i've let go. i forgive them and wish them well but it's nice to be distant.

don't be afraid of change~~~don't be afraid that a better match will never come along for you. I didn't foresee anything about the romance i have now before it happened. I knew i wanted to find a love that felt balanced and fulfilling but not All-Consuming. by a total random sequence of events, my vibe was met. You just never know whats around the corner ^^ The more open you are to change, the more change will find you. But you know going back to that person would just be a needless repeat of an old cycle. it's ok to still cherish them and keep moving forward. it's good you're able to feel less angry towards them now, that shows growth & maturity. But dont let it drag you back in !!

i hope this resonates and doesn't sound too preachy lol . Just hate to see someone fall back into Old HABITS. For your sake and the sake of your old partner. letting go is a crucial skill to learn in this life. Best of luck to you anon, you sound like a good person who wants to do their best & that will carry you far in life & love.

Sincerely

PMD9 <3

[speyeralling-down-thy-majesty]

OOC: Realised that I haven't updated their statement in a loooong while,and that a lot of their backstory has changed, so here it is,an updated statement

Statement of Amelie A. Liddel regarding their Becoming. Statement provided directly by subject,June 5th,2020.

My name is Amelie Alice LiddeI.I was born in London ,to a man named James and a woman with the name Celine. My father was a busy man,loving his work more than his only child,substituting his love with material goods and experiences I did not ask for,nor like. And my mother? Well,I don’t really remember her that much. She left early on,unable to stand my workaholic father.That much about myself I can remember with semi-clear ease,though a whole lot of memories are fragmented and twisted beyond comprehension.

One of the things I clearly remember, though,is how and why I ended up here, working at the institute.

You see, I always loved books.I mean,it should come as no surprise, especially given my occupation. I was raised to appreciate the written word and its beauty. When it came to why I loved them so much, though… I greatly enjoyed letting myself get lost in the unreality, drinking in the knowledge and the words. I would spend hours reading, ignoring the reality outside the pages. The reality that demanded unbreaking perfection and countless facades. With books I was safe to be myself.

My curiosity and nearly ravenous hunger for knowledge always were a big part of me. I was a curious child, sticking my nose into things I had no bussiness to, just because I wanted to know. Even when growing up,it was hard to keep things hidden from me, literally and metaphorically. I used to pry and ask and try to know until I was pushed away, until everyone got sick of me. I just couldn't stay in the dark.

Besides being a collection of knowledge,books were the perfect getaway for me as well.They were fascinating and so entrancing!! Especially old fairy tales,those were my secret favorites. Unlike the dry classics my father wanted me to read. Those were too difficult for me to understand either way. Obviously, I would have never admitted that,it would have cracked the perfect, serious academic image I was trying so hard to achieve,and made my father disappointed in me.

Ultimately I gathered the courage and decided- I want to spend more of my life being surrounded by what makes me the happiest- books. It wasn't that much of a lie for once as well, actually. Working as a librarian became my ultimate goal, something I put my everything into, just to achieve. Afterall, what's better for a book lover like me than to be surrounded by books full time? My father wasn’t too displeased with my decision either way. He had hoped for more,and bigger,but reassuring him that it’s only a stepping stone helped plenty. I don't think he would have let me leave if I told him the truth. That I did

With a fresh degree,and no experience in all of this,a silly little overambitious me applied as a librarian at The Magnus Institute, almost as a joke,just to see how badly I would be rejected.It was one of the bravest things I have ever done,an uncalculated,spontaneous move.

I was metaphorically losing my mind from happiness after receiving an answer. I was accepted! I didn't think it was real,I had no hope,considering how weird the interview was. What kind of self respecting academic institution asks their potential workers questions about their biggest fears?

Like usual, I lied my way through that as well, there's no way I could have told this creepy stranger about what really I was afraid of: disappointing everyone with the real me, having them find out how much of a loser Alice Liddel actually was.

It was all I wanted, really .To be able to work among the things I wanted,and to make my father somewhat proud by being accepted into a widely known academic place. Things were easy and smooth afterwards. Being a librarian wasn’t hard,checking out books,managing returns and new arrivals was… almost fun,I'd say. The added bonus of it being one of the apparently safest positions helped as well. I didn’t think any of the supernatural encounters I have heard rumours of would ever happen to me. What's so dangerous about some old dusty books? Oh,how wrong I was.

One day,while I was managing new arrivals, I came across the most gorgeous book. Shimmering, seemingly shifting with strange colours,cover adorned by interlocking spirals and nearly ethereal looking fractals . I needed to read it.I couldn't just put it back and go on with my day like nothing happened. Trust me, I tried. But the thought of what it promised lingered at the back of my mind, scratching like a needy cat.

So fuck it. I sneaked the book into the reading room,fully intending just to glance at it and put away. But my curiosity grew the more I examined it. Looking away was difficult. Was it something I wanted myself, or was the thought of not knowing too scary to ignore?

When I started reading it,I was enthralled. Admittedly,it was so confusing,none of the words actually made any sense,and yet I understood it perfectly. Somehow. It was almost as if the book was speaking to me personally. It’s ridiculous,books can’t speak, I'm not sure where I got that thought from at that time,but I did feel like it spoke,in its own way.

It told me things. So... Many... Things... Things that could never be possible, truths that were wrong,so,so many things that I couldn't comprehend,too much,too many and it made my head hurt. Everything was a lie,and yet everything felt like a truth. I couldn’t bear the nonsense,so I forced it close,forced myself to look away. I really hoped I won’t have any lingering effects from that. I just wanted to forget what I read,erase my mind from the overload of strange knowledge that managed to change my perception of reality.

I think it has stayed with me since.I never looked at..anything the same since. My view of reality has been twisted and I truly did not know how to cope with that. But I had to.I was everyone’s perfect little Amelie,always calm and smiling,no matter what horrors life threw at me.What I read was driving me crazy,everything felt like a lie,but I suppose it wasn’t any different from my usual life.

The strange fractals I saw haunted me every time I closed my eyes or lost focus. They.were everywhere. I even saw them on my skin if I stared long enough. Colourful and shifting,but never fully there.

Later on,I developed a headache that nothing would soothe,a mad pain. Trust me, I've tried soothing it to the best of my abilities. I took so many different types of painkillers, I went as far as disregarding my physical well being. After all, nothing else matters much when you're being driven mad by pain. You just want it to stop. One way or another. And if you can’t,you just plaster on a smile and continue on.

My dreams were haunted by books that didn't make sense. Written in symbols I couldn't comprehend,yet my mind forced me to understand them. I don't know how,but it did. Does it make sense? Probably not,my mind was already too broken by the time the dreams started. Some nights I wished I could stop sleeping,so I could take a break from the fractals and the twisted truth they spoke. My wishes came back to me tenfold,as I started sleeping less and less.

A few months later, I noticed how looking in the mirrors only showed a warped reflection… My eyes weren't the same either.They seemed to swirl in spirals of strange colours,not unlike those of the cover of the book that doomed me. It hurt to look at myself-everything seemed too bright. I don't think I could even comprehend what I saw,and how much of it was still me.

And yet,for some reason, nobody else saw anything wrong with me. To everyone else,the book was always normal. Even I was normal to them,though what do you expect when you force yourself into a facade so well you start to believe it yourself? I started to believe them. They could not see,not know,that I was becoming a twisted version of myself,so that must have meant everything was fine,the facade was strong.

Time stopped having meaning long ago,though I’m sure by the time I obviously lost it,a year had passed. I was somehow still doing my job well enough not to be questioned. Maybe the Eye helped as well? I remember the ease with which knowledge came to me,especially regarding books.Most of it was twisted,and odd,but it was knowledge that wasn’t there nonetheless. I remember feeling watched,obviously,but I just chalked it up to the overall weirdness of the Institute. In a way,it almost was comforting? Maybe someone could See,Know what was happening to me.

If you were to look at me back then,you could only tell I was stressed. It didn’t look like I was scared. But I was. My mind was the most precious thing to me. I couldn’t trust anything,anyone,even myself! It was so hard… Was that person in front of me something my mind made up to mess with me,or was it just the coworker that I didn’t interact with often? How is it Thursday already? I woke up an hour ago and yet it was Monday?? It didn’t make any sense,it was disorienting and I felt like I was in a dream. I was having panic attacks daily.

One time at work,I simply…broke down laughing. I was overcome with mad hysteria,everything in me broke. I couldn’t do it,running away from whatever madness was in me was too tiring,the facade already broke either way. What else was left to do besides welcoming the madness with open arms,letting it twist and distort anything that once was truly me? It was oddly comforting,not having to put any effort into living out a facade,it felt like I could finally be myself. So in a sense,my demise was my salvation.

Statement ends.

[vickyyoon]

Your Boy

Pt1

Genre: Angst (happy ending)

Pairing:keeho x fem!reader

Synopsis: after that rushed argument, he leaves you alone but you can't accept that.

As you watched him teary eyed packing his stuff. You were crumbling into pieces. You were depressed even before your relationship with him but it's been better having him change some of those terrible aspects that remind you of your horrifying days.

But the day your part time job found you more soft my heart the more they roughly used you and you've been torn away from your keeho but what can you do? He wouldn't want to hear all this over and over again. He just wouldn't understand.

And as he twists the door knob you grab his empty hand. "I-I'm sorry." you whisper, the words weren't coming out of you but this was all you could try to use.

"I-I didn't mean to." his stared at you but he couldn't bare this burden aswell. "Maybe we'll be happy together in another life." he tried to reassure you feeling bad. The feeling rang in his guts but it's been so many years of struggling and no improvements. It was like a brain dead person on life support.

Your dreams of marrying him, having children with him, grandchildren with him and growing old with him would just be a past thought. It's not like you two were falling out of love either.

Before leaving he forgets to grab his watch with was in one of the drawers of the bedside table.

You follow him to the room and watch him look for it when he comes across your drawer. Something he hasn't touched for many years. And all he could see were your...

Anti depressants...

He didn't know how bad it would be for you to have a drawer full of medications that keep you happy for just a few minutes.

He stares at you. " I thought you were over it. I thought you were happy now..." the guilt rushing to his head.

He wanted to hug you right then and there. He wish you could be happy because you deserved it. He's been there when you were down and when he makes you happy your smile melts his heart. He never wants to see you unhappy but here you were...

He wish you told him earlier but he just grabbed his watch and left you, he was crying down the stairs. And the second you close that door. You break down into tear.

Keeho's been a great friend, best friend and boyfriend he's watched you all his life. He's been there all your life. You couldn't just be strangers.

You regret arguing about spending time with his colleagues. You regret leaving him when he was having the worst time of his life. You regret not giving him that time he needed with you. You regret the way you possessed him.

You hurt him alot. He doesn't deserve to be with you.

It's only been very recent keeho's been being cold towards you.

Every since he left you. You didn't step out of your apartment. You stopped eating. You didn't pick up anyone's call. Your place was messy.

You were as numb as a fish. You wondered where he'd be now that he's gone.

Keeho was trying to move on. He was dealing with what life had for him all by himself but it wouldve been easier if you were there with him. Someone to advise him when he's in need. He felt like he was getting past these problems by luck.

He's happy but not as happy as when he was with you. Maybe you guys did bicker but it was just bickering, not something to hurt each other.

Just a few months after the break up he bumps into one of your friends.

" Oh hey Stephen! How's it been. You seemed to have blocked me." she said.

"yeah Y/n and I broke up..." he replied.

" well Y/n hasn't been answering her calls and she's been stuck in that apartment for ages!" this was when he could fear the worst of the worst.

" sorry what?" he said. Trying to call you but really. You weren't picking up. He tried to knock at your place but you didn't answer.

He was standing on the other side of your door when he twisted the knob and found it open. You were soulless.

He came near you. "Y/n I'm sorry for everything. I didn't know it would hurt you this bad. I didn't even know how bad your mental situation was." he said. Tugging your hair behind your ear as he sat beside you in the floor.

"I-I'm really sorry." he said holding your hands but all you could do is cry and feel guilty.

He gives you a hug and you cry into his chest apologizing for every single moment you regret.

And he rubs your back like he used to do when you cried to him.

He decided to give this relationship another start.

_________________________________________

I know it was bad....

Also if you notice the plot. It's inspired by the wandering moon, a Japanese movie.