#are they supposed to be the same length or smth..

[dreadark]

Took you long enough.

[simpjaes]

https://www.tumblr.com/simpjaes/747048468672086016/thinking-about-jake-overstimulating-himself-by?source=share

plz write smth abt it😭

[overstimulated jake]

He's your boyfriend and boyfriends are supposed to make their girlfriends cum first, right?

Well, given that there are no rules about who cums first, it's a bit of an issue in this relationship because, well...

Jake struggles not to cum first, you both know it, and you intentionally pull it out of him because you truly can't resist the way he acts through his sensitivity. Always pushing through his own pain to get you off the way you like best. With his cock.

"A-ah," Jake pants against your neck, nuzzling close and gripping against you with paled knuckles. "It hurts."

You're quick to run your fingers through his hair, feeling him fuck his cum deeper and deeper into you. His cock was rock hard just moments ago, and now his body is softening up. He's fighting it though, pushing himself in and out of you with those glistening doe-eyes.

"I know," You coo out against his hair, "Hurts so bad, doesn't it?"

He nods frantically against your neck, still plunging his pathetically spent cock in and out of you.

You almost love the feeling of how his length suffers through it. Your wet walls milk his softening cock almost to near empty, and all he can do is whine and whimper through it until that pit in his stomach is ignited again.

"Just a little longer." You encourage him, feeling his wet cheeks slide up and down your neck and collar bones, his hair sticking to both you and his face. "It'll feel good again soon, baby.''

He nods again with a choked sob, trying to heave in a breath as his hips stutter at the pain. He holds himself still for a moment, counting his heart beats and willing them to slow down. It's hard to do it when your needy cunt squeezes him though. God, he hates that you get him off so fast. He wishes it could be you struggling through the sensitivity as he fucks you, he wishes it was you crying and panting so prettily against his neck.

But it's him. It's always him acting so pathetic and embarrassing.

And just like always, it really doesn't take long. That pain that spirals him slowly but surely turns to the same pangs of arousal he felt when he started fucking you just ten minutes ago.

Ah, this is why he pushes through that pain. Not only to see your pretty face contort into pleasure, but to feel himself get hard and grow inside of you. So warm, so fucking wet. He loves the way you react when you feel the stretch, and loves it even more when you know he's back in the game and your mouth falls slack.

The second he feels his cock twitch back to life is when he starts pushing his hips forward again. His still semi-soft cock is screaming both to be left alone and to fuck something harder than he already did.

And he does. Fucking himself through it more than you, up until he's fully erect again and the weeping head of his cock continuously rubs against that soft spot inside of you.

When you wrap your legs around him, he pulls back with those rosy cheeks and glistening eyes and smiles at you with a sniffle.

It feels good again, and the pain is always so fucking worth it when he gets to see you fall apart just like he did.

[rinhaler]

holding you at gun point to write smth abt draken with this <3 (bonus points if daddy kink bc daddy issues go brrrrr)

ohhhhh my first tr writing on this blog lets gooooooooo

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fem!reader, cheating, vaginal sex, creampie, breeding kink, daddy kink, spit.

words: 1.1k

“Fuck—” you moan, feeling the impact of being slammed against the wall by Draken before he suffocates you as his lips encase yours. He’s so touchy, always has been, though things might have gone a tad too far this time. “K-Kenny, maybe we shouldn’t—”

“Sh, baby.” he interrupts, kissing you again before he trails his lips lovingly along your jawline and gropes your breast as he starts suck kisses into your neck.

“What about Mi- What about Manjiro?” you gasp, angling your neck to give him better access to you. You suppose you aren’t truly thinking about Manjiro at all. “He’ll be s-so mad at you, and me, Kenny, we shouldn’t be doing this.”

He silences you as he lifts you fully into his hold, your legs wrap around his waist and you capture him in another kiss. You can feel how hard he is, even through his jeans. And his moans, God, his fucking moans are spellbinding. You’d happily face Mikey’s wrath if it meant you can listen to Draken grunt and groan like this for you whenever you please.

“Fuck Mikey,” Draken tells you, his voice dropping a few octaves as he drops you down onto your mattress below. “I saw you first, y’know. Knew you were meant to be mine the moment I saw ya. And he fucking—” he stops himself, climbing on top of you and caging you beneath him.

Desperate hands reach and grab to hold him in any capacity. But he pulls away to yank down your panties. Although, his frenzied hands are too impatient, ripping them apart with ease.

You sit upright to chase him, eager to kiss him once more. He breaks it to throw his shirt over his head into a crumpled pile at the foot of your bed. He watches you, huffing excitedly as you undo his belt and pull down his zipper.

He grabs your chin, jerking your gaze upwards so that your needy, shimmering eyes answer the question of just how much you want him. Or, rather, need him. They’re glittering with want and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen a prettier pair of eyes.

You break the stare, your head drooping as you pull down his jeans and underwear in the same eager motion.

You’re almost salivating when you see his cock for the first time. Oh, he’s perfect. His leaking cockhead is flushed beautifully as he aches for you. He’s so messy, so beautiful. And it’s all for you. He smirks upon seeing a little bit of drool form on the corner of your slack jawed mouth. He wipes it, softly, before pushing you onto your back.

“You’re fucking soaked…” he laughs softly, pushing two fingers into your tight heat and scissoring you open briefly. His hands, you’ve never failed to notice, are massive. They’re veiny and intimidating, his fingers curl deep in your walls. And they venture deep enough to have you screaming as he finds your g-spot. “I can’t wait anymore, baby, I’m sorry… hope that was enough for ya.” he warns you, pulling out his fingers and lining up his cockhead with your wet hole.

“Unff, f-fuck, Kenny…” you mewl, nails clawing into his muscular back as he splits you open on his length.

“Fuuuuuck me, baby.” he chuckles shallowly, slotting himself inside fully until he has no length left to give. And he fucks you, slow but deep. Skin slapping against skin filling the room you sleep in, usually, beside Mikey. “Your pussy’s made for me, can feel it…” he tells you, kissing you right after.

“Wanna be d-daddy shaped, p-please, fuck me hard.” you tell him. Black eyes widen with lust and adoration after hearing you speak so salaciously. A large hand frames the lower half of your face, squeezing your cheeks until your lips pucker for him. And he can’t help himself, he can’t fucking control himself. You see his mouth contort and then you’re hit with a glob of saliva, his spit landing perfectly between your lips and slithering onto your tongue.

“Swallow it, baby, g-good girl…” he struggles to keep his composure as he fucks into you. You are a good girl. So obedient, so fucking perfect. And the moan that leaves him is almost angelic as he watches you swallow his spit so beautifully. “This is daddy’s pussy, yeah? Gonna let me fuck this little cunt as much as I want, aren’t you? Until you’re fuckin’ mine.” he speaks, knowing in reality it makes no sense. You’re already his, in his mind.

Consequences be damned.

You wrap your arms around his body, holding him close as he pounds into you. You know you have to be quick about this, Manjiro could be home at any minute. But you can’t stop before you’re satisfied. Before you’re done. Before you’re fucking ready. He rests his forehead against yours for a moment as he lets himself enjoy the moment, fully.

And you practically feel his cock twitch when he pulls away to look into your pathetic wet eyes. Are you really going to cry from the pleasure? Is he making you feel that good?

“P-Put a baby in me, daddy?” you blink up at him so fucking innocently. Are you serious? Have you forgotten who you’re meant to be committed to and that you’re not meant to be doing this right now? Draken isn’t sure he heard you right. Not until you repeat it with a broken whisper and little please please please’s spilling from your lips with each thrust.

He doesn’t think he’s ever cum so fast in his life. Fractured moans fighting their way out of his lungs as he fucks his cum hard and deep into your unprotected womb.

“Fuck, I’m sorry…” he apologies, he’d had no intention of cumming that quickly. “’m not done with you.” he promises, pushing one of your knees into your chest before searching for your aching clit as you make out nastily.

Tongues and moans dizzying your brain with each swipe of his fingers.

You hope Manjiro won’t be home anytime soon.

Because you can’t get enough of his best friend.

© 2023 rinitxshi

[onlyseokmins]

touch • l.s.m.

Pairing: lee seokmin x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors dni!) Warnings: lower-case intended, self-indulgent... maybe some swearing, MUCH SHAME (for me, myself, and i - not any of you or even seokmin himself), jdkskakwkw i genuinely have no words good lord lmk if i should add smth WC: tumblr mobile bby 💀 A/N: it was SUPPOSED to be a 1/4 of how long it ended up but the only warning i have for this is it is fully elv indulgent ofc so take it as you will but i hold 0 responsibility. fyi this is all @duhnova's fault tbh as always for making me think abt this nonstop grrrr 😭😂 OKAY and i'll try and stop writing seok content istg

"no," you scold and bat away one of seokmin's trembling hands that get a little too close to your thigh, "no touching."

he whimpers. full on whimpers, tears threatening to spill out from his half-closed eyes. it's a little unfair if he thinks about it. that is - if he can even properly form a thought in his fucked-out, clouded state of mind.

there's something feral that engulfs your entire being. it's lit like a spark from the way his cheeks are flushed, perspiration lining where messy bangs flop against the pillows. the rest of his hair frazzled adorably after tossing and turning futilely while you'd marked up his neck with little bites and kisses. long fingers grip and twist at the bedsheets, veins protruding and forearm muscles rippling at his desperation.

yet seokmin listens and behaves. even as his biceps twitch and his chest stutters at each labored breath he inhales. hips remaining still as he can because of your earlier command, yet a tiny spasm jerks through them at such strained efforts. but he still obeys.

it's so unfair how pretty he is. the pants and whines and moans escaping his mouth only add more to the salvitating experience.

but it's awfully unfair how he can't touch YOU. oh, how he wants to. so bad. his mind spins. you're everywhere. plush thighs squeeze around his waist, ass cheeks resting on top of his shaking thighs, fingernails running across his abs and up to tweak at his nipples before palms press against his shoulders just to lift yourself up ever so slightly.

"oh," and "ohhh," he gasps helplessly. both out loud and as the singular ringing thought bouncing inside the emptiness of his poor brain.

"what's wrong, baby?"

you dirty little vixen.

"wanna... touch.. wanna touch you... so bad."

"but you are touching me, my sweet."

indeed. your warm, wet, sweet, tight pussy is enveloping his cock inside its velvety walls. clenching around him every so often as his thickness jolts and twitches whenever you shift. the tip brushes just right against the bundle of nerves he's memorized to find, though this time it's of your own doing. you continue to tease him. which is almost so mean and cruel as you coo at him with an ego-induced smirk.

"not the s-same."

he's complaining but you actually feel so good. delightful. oh, how he wants to touch you so bad himself. hands confusingly jealous of his cock that gets to be inside and experience exhilarating contact with your lovely body. exactly where he wants it, where it should be, and thankfully it's being taken care of. but he still longs to feel your skin buried beneath his fingertips.

seokmin bites down on his lip. your gaze lazily flickers to the action, watching as his eyebrows furrow and unfurrow. thrillingly, they match in time with the pulsating of your cunt around him as he tries to hold off his impending release.

how delicious he is.

sweat droplets trickle down the length of his flexed and tense arms, dripping onto the sheets. almost worried he'll rip them and fearing an injury to his pretty lips, you lean down. supple breasts sliding against the hard planes of his upper body. teething at the release of his lower lip that juts out in a pout before swiping your tongue across it.

he welcomes your mouth against his, a messy but loving kiss. full of spit and gnashing of teeth. and the only reason you pull away is to simply whisper in his ear, "go ahead and touch, my good boy."

and with a relieved, guttural groan - seokmin does. breathlessly thanking you. his appreciative actions are fast and sloppy. you'd laugh at how similar he is to a kid in a candy store who's allowed to pick whatever they want. but the following series of events steal away any playful humor and you are left with only shock and awe.

because as soon as seokmin feels the sensation of your soft, sweaty skin he knows so well - a reverent yet feeble graze against the juncture of your hips that he normally holds when you're riding him - he's gone. barely even touching you like he so wanted, the lightest brush of your skin sets him off and he's throbbing achingly inside of you. absolutely shredding the slipping leash on his collared control. painting your walls white and you watch slack-jawed as he convulses beneath you with a deep moan and subsequently, heaving a ginormous sob.

and you have no choice but to milk him for all he's worth, a couple of quick bounces while his release still dribbles out of his cock and what doesn't stay inside of your cunt soils the ruined bedsheets. your walls flutter around him and he's whimpering again - this time at the oversensitivity. but the sound is pathetic enough to trigger your climax. praises fall from your mouth even though he came without permission. but that doesn't matter to you because everything is perfect about him. he knows this by your own loving death grip over one of his large hands that dig into your sides.

"i love you," he can't help but murmur dazedly and you slump against him, nibbling gently on his collarbone as you come down from your high.

"i love you more."

you whisper sweet nothings to one another while cuddling, little kisses exchanged between soft words because he refuses to let you go. his hands innocently run up and down the curves of your body, clingy as ever when he's denied the privilege to touch you during sex. and you love it. taking full advantage of his neediness whenever you can. and of course, he lets you whenever you want because he's your very own sweet beloved, good boy.

[timestillstands]

Sun's character is fun to write.

I haven't QUITE gotten there yet, but his dynamic with Moon is really something

So in this au I wanted to try smth new, a little bit more challenging, yk? So I decided I wanted to mess around w the tropes between the two. I had an idea that maybe they could be the SAME, but not at all? If that makes any sense. I want it to be the same coin, different sides. It's still the same coin, but it's a different scene.

The best way I can describe it is that they're the same person, but different emotions. Different ways he exhibits himself.

Sun sees Moon as the worthless part of him, the parts that he can't show the world. He hates Moon. He hates him an insatiable amount, but he knows he needs that part of him to some degree, no matter how many times he tries to tells himself otherwise. Still, when he is faced with confrontation with Moon, he refuses to act like something's wrong.

He's scared. Moon scares him, and he'll protect everybody from that part of him, whether it makes them unhappy or not. He goes to incredible lengths to keep people out of the loop.

What's worse is that Moon sees Sun as well- the sun. He's something so out of reach. With the flip of a switch, he becomes alienated. His entirety is labeled as "BAD". He thinks Sun is cool. He thinks he's amazing, graceful, a prodigy. He knows that when the lights are off, he isn't. He's to be shunned. He's not supposed to be there anymore.

Sun hates the other side of him.

Moon hates himself.

It's the one thing they agree on, yet the constantly fight for the same reason. Moon wants to prove himself. Sun thinks they can do just fine as they are. Nothing new is needed. No one else is wanted there. They don't need somebody to fix something, not if it's already buried.

[snuffwhistlecakes]

sketches of underdeveloped chipbill angels & devils AU 😈❣️💖😇

details & explanations are under the cut.

so, the main idea was that everything is nearly the same to bcg original set-up (they move into the city and yada-yada), aside from the fact, that there is 3 kinds of people on earth. the angles, supposedly good & thriving on good/nice deeds. the devils or the demons, who get their power from causing other people's misfortunes & general mischief. and then, lastly, there are the non angel/devil kind. it's like a purgatory sort of deal. as result, they don’t have any specific perks, but have an ability to eventually get into one group or another, based on their choices. or they can stay in-between, if they won't dab into extremes, or will keep mixing up bad deed with good.

now, back to angels/devil. another thing that connected with theor personal balance of evil & good, is that angle’s wings get bigger, the more nice deeds they commit. and for devils, it’s their horns. they get larger, the more power they possess. the more powerful angels and devils can control the length of their wings/horns, mostly so that it won’t get in the way, when they will be doing smth mundane. 

overall, this au has a similar plot/timeline with original bcg set-up, but with some adjustments. this is also not an after-life/or religious au lol. it’s just that their universe is like this. with bill being an angel, who cannot fly, and has small wings. and chip, who eventually becomes one of higher devils (his ceo version), while manager one was more on the level of mid, average demons. on top of that, big part of chip’s plan in that universe includes seduction of bill green, bc nothing gives the devil more power, than tainting someone, who is supposed to be ‘pure’. but during his like charade, he ends up falling in love with bill, which tbf doesn’t prevent him from being evil or becoming more powerful, basically. in return, bill would try to ‘fix him’, and perhaps finally get his big, nice wings. but neither of them prob will get what they want lol.

another thing, is that changed devils/angels, don't tend to downright switch their occupations. if the angel 'fall' or the devil 'raise', they most likely will end up in purgatory. and naturally, the devils are less likely to change into anything, but become worse, vs angels, who can have a 'breakdown', and lose their wings. anyhow.....

bill can control when and how often his wings show up. mostly he just has a halo above his head, like all angels. chip has the same perk with his tail, but his horns are always presented. along with a narrow pupil. later on, as ceo, he also has longish, clawed fingers, but he can control this as well. his horns are also way-way taller and sharper. but he can mask them back into shorter form.

now, a quick side note about other characters, who exist in this universe. chip’s father is also the devil, a pretty powerful one too. but usually, he keeps his friendly facade intact, so it’s hard to understand why he's a ‘bad dude’. but welp, he is. alice is also a devil, her husband was an angel. mixing with another kind isn’t forbidden in their world, it just can cause certain difficulties. mostly the fact, that angels & devils disagree on a lot of things. anyho', tilly is an angel, but she didn’t get her wings yet. cricket is the devil, but he doesn’t have horns, only a tail lol. nancy is a non-devil/angel. she used to be the devil, but not any longer. she’s not ‘good’ enough to ever become an angel, but she no longer gets power from doing bad stuff, either. remy is an angel, bc idk how he can be anything else. his bodyguard is the devil. officer keys is the angel, bc of course he is, haha. and welp, gloria sato simply doesn’t exist in this universe, bc i don’t want her to lol. *taps chin* mm, i guess, it covers the most main characters. each would have their own arc and such, even if my main focus is always gonna be bill & chip. cuz yeah, this au exist for them. others are just kinda there.

either way, it has been forever since i drew/posted on this blog. these sketches sat inside my folder for months to come, so i decided to quickly slap color on them and post it in the way it currently is. for one, i hate piling up too many unfinished drawings (i already have like uh 10 of them lol), along with my pile of unfinished fics, so yup. 

[petrichoraline]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

i did this some time ago but most answers are gonna be different so let's go!! thank youu, @fangirlmedstudentblog and @markpakin 💞

Three Ships

TinnGun - no surprises here, these two have become everyone's comfort couple so quickly

HiraKiyoi - again, not a shocker in the slightest, they are my insane comfort bfs

DaisyIntouch - in honour of opp's viral moment with The7's Get Loose i can't not mention the most gentle, sweetest couple in SCOY; i wish their arc was handled a bit better, it felt rushed by the end; they're amazing nonetheless

First Ever Ship

let's go with first bl ship (live action) which i beliiieeve is kenji and shiro from kinou nani tabeta? and if it's not them it might be junjae and takuya from the lover

Last Song

Last Movie

i procrastinated on this just so the answer would be worth it (cause i watched a mediocre french movie but mostly didn't pay attention and that didn't sound like a good answer); the movies i saw today instead of the indian movie im procrastinating on seeing:

She's Dating the Gangster (2014) - this philippino movie made me realise that netflix's "true love" category should've been called "heartbreak" but they renamed it so well

the intros and summaries truly suck because i thought i was going into a light "fake dating" romcom with a pair of cute silly teens as the leads! what i got instead was so sad and a tad bit melodramatic that at the end i didn't know how to feel.. i did cry though! i was hanging in there and yet it got me; it's a sweet movie, although it could be overwhelming, and i would recommend it! it's kind of my fave out of the three, i wasn't too sure how it was gonna end too; one really strong point is the sweet twist on the makeover trope that the movie doesn't even use to promote itself, it's kinda naturally in there and it made me so happy

Jumping From High Places (2022) - this italian romantic-but-more-about-self-growth movie about a young woman with anxiety was not technically confusing but it had me bored halfway through (again, the sample video thingy netflix shows had an energy that imo was not there throughout the film, i found it misleading); i'm just happy i picked up on smth that is probably supposed to be a surprising reveal hehe; i wouldn't not recommend it, i feel like it could be relatable and a sweet experience for some

Your Place or Mine (2023) - a typical hollywood movie, what can i say, it's been pushed onto me and i was kinda interested, gonna lie if i say the cast wasn't a part of the reason i caved in (i'm curious bout what kutcher and witherspoon are doing now, yeah);

i think it's kinda bland, it had some good sentiments but at the end i found the female lead too unlikeable and the story kind of stretched out and a bit rushed at the same time (maybe it was actually well paced and a proper length, just not my thing, that's possible. the gray overlay (?) was so depressing though, even her bright and green home felt awfully unwelcoming)

Currently Watching

literally only My School President lol everything else is in either "on-hold", "plan to watch" or "have to catch up on!!"

Currently Reading

oh how i want to say svsss vol.2 but i'm stuck once again, i mostly read long posts and student books, not even manga

Currently Consuming

"too much media at once in theory and not nearly as much in practice" is a valid answer, isn't it lol

Currently Craving

more convos w moots ig

i might be tagging people who have done it or don't like tag games, it's very hard to track these sometimes so sorry 🫶 @hello-n-goodbye @himbodelamain @soundgun @sillsif @jingyanwang @catwalkninja @catboyjosten @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @chinzhillababy

[synthetickitsune]

same anon as the one you just answered about requests, thank you <3 i wanted to request for joonggil actually bc the last one you wrote made me sad n i need smth fun (by that i mean dirty) . maybe something along the lines of fucking in his office if you’re comfortable if not you can choose :)

No problem! ♡ And sorry in advance in making this one a lil sad as well lmao, I found it kind of hard to write smut for Joonggil

Park Joonggil (Tomorrow) | Stress relief smut | 0.6k

It’s driving him crazy. All of it. The Director doing whatever she wants, the dirty souls he has to collect, the Crisis management team… He feels the muscle in his jaw clench and he realizes that for whatever reason, that team is the main culprit behind the sudden spike of aggression in him. It's getting unbearable, who could blame him if he wanted to let out some steam?

You don’t seem to mind either. Your watery eyes looking up at him from where you kneel on the floor between his legs seem dark and full of lust. No defiance. He can see some wet streaks glistening on your cheeks but it doesn’t move him at all. If anything, he grips your hair tighter and forces his cock deeper into your throat.

Unlike the recent events, this he has absolute control over. He hates not being in control. And now that he has it, he's going to indulge in it. This one sin he'll allow himself.

It's rare to feel anything outside of physical sensation here. At least for him, anyway. And your mouth is so warm around him, so wet as your tongue laps at him like he's candy. It makes him angry, he finds, that you seem to find this enjoyable. This is supposed to be his moment. He takes pleasure in watching you gag and squirm when he holds you down long enough that you're not getting enough oxygen. He loves how your throat constricts when you swallow around him, and suddenly he wishes you were in a different position and he could choke you while abusing your throat.

He doesn't know where these thoughts are coming from, and when his mind clears, he'll for sure regret them. He'll regret all this, but for the time being his full focus is on thrusting into your willing mouth. He feels you flatten your tongue and feels the delicious drag of it on the sensitive underside of his cock. It spurs him on, makes him go faster and harder, and as he fucks into your mouth so rough there's fluids everywhere, it dawns on him.

When he nearly pulls out, his tip resting against your lips, and when he slams his hips forward and brushes against the back of your throat, it's a blur of pink he sees behind his closed eyelids. Pink hair, a whisper of pink on her eyes. 

Yet instead of stopping, like part of him wants to, his pace gets more brutal. He ignores your choked moans, other than how good they feel. He abuses your throat like a desperate man. He is desperate. Desperate to relieve the tension, to forget, to reach any sort of oblivion that will save him.

He buries himself all the way, your nose pressed against his pelvis as he spills down your throat. He doesn't meet your eyes, his own closed, his chest heaving with long, deep breaths. The grip on your hair softens as he comes down, but still yanks you away when you playfully lick at his length. 

You wonder what came over him as he adjusts his clothes and roughly shoves you out the door. He takes another deep breath and instructs you in a tone you've never heard, soft and almost vulnerable, to take the rest of the day off. Part of him wants to apologize for his rough treatment, but you seemed to enjoy it and for that, he feels both glad and more guilty. It didn't work like he hoped it would. The frustration he felt melted away but now there's a strange pressure weighting on his chest. Every time he blinks he sees a pink blur and he knows he'll have to address that soon, preferably sooner than later, right now. He can't, though. So he falls back on his chair and wonders.

[daz4i]

ok ok I'm doing the silly and. talking abt my writing and showing parts of it and you gotta promise not to judge me and even if you find it cringe keep it to yourself pls be nice to me i am very sensitive!!!!!! anyway.

(tw for general depressing shit, mentions of death and implied csa near the end) (also this got so long I'm so sorry)

so the latest song(?) i wrote is called קלף טאקי בשולחן פוקר which is a reference to a local meme lol. i think i mentioned it before but if you missed it, it roughly translates to "uno card at a poker table". i think you can already guess what the topic of the song is. i actually wrote it after months of not writing anything and it felt like some of the grime on my brain was scrubbed off god bless

i have a file of a bunch of lines i come up with and don't know where to put yet and some of them are actually lifted from vent posts i make here and. this song was the first time i used smth from that file!! yippee!!!!

anyway i am not posting the whole thing bc my rhyming is. not good but I'll post some of my favorite parts in it i think. starting with

the lines the song opens with! originally it was called "unfit" (this word will come later too) but i wanted to get silly with it, hence the meme reference

speaking of references, that second line is one, to "avalanche" by bring me the horizon. great depression song go listen to it if you haven't yet. i kept thinking abt that line while writing and eventually i went "sure why not, may as well pay a tiny homage to one of my fav bands ever"

these are the opening lines of the second verse^

ik the length of the first one is a bit much compared to others and esp the first verse (see above), but this is one of the lines i grabbed from the aforementioned collection file and i was too attached to it to change it. i feel like once there's music and shit it might solve this

anyway i feel like here it's clearer what the topic actually is (the chorus also helps, but we'll get to that later) - having to be fake and pretending to be someone else in order for people to like you. the song wasn't originally supposed to be abt that but ngl most of what i write eventually comes to this lol (i think i have at least 3 other pieces about this oof <- joker kinnie)

this one!!!!! is a reference!!!!! to a play i liked as a teen and used a monologue from multiple times in acting school (everyone in the class loved the way i did it and asked me to keep using it in stuff and who am i to say no), dentity crisis by christopher durang!! it's about, well, identity crises lol, and eventually the main character loses herself trying to make sense of the people around her and the chaos of her life so naturally it felt like a fitting reference to make, esp with the whole theater theme

this is the. i wanna say bridge but idk all the right terminology oof. like the part before the final chorus+outro.

i think you might've picked up by now that this is a bit of a silly, somewhat sarcastic song on some level, hence the improv line lmao

when i hear this part in my head it's very dramatic, lots of belting like a broadway showstopper, mixed with some. almost spoken, yet still sing-song-y lines

and here the whole theater motif really picks up the pace too. honestly this one appears in a lot of my writing for obvious reasons, but it's especially fitting when the song is literally about pretending to be someone else in order to be loved

the game thing peeks its head in the first chorus which we will get into in a sec, but either way i think it goes hand in hand. games are often abt getting into the shoes of another character yknow? and there's a whole play on the word, well, play lol. and how it's both for games and for acting (in my first language we straight up don't have another word like "act". it's just the same as play and that's it. so maybe it works better in my head for that reason idk!)

music wise i imagine in the last 2~ lines the beat starts to slow down, the notes become a bit higher, every syllable is drawn out for a bit longer, and in "stops" there's a short pause before the final chorus comes in. speaking of!

yeah showing each of them separately would've been a bit too cringey even for me. i don't think they're good as standalones BUT i like them together paralleling each other. it's smth i like to do in almost every song i write tbh, and very often i switch between "i" "you" and "we" as the song keeps going, to sort of draw the listener/reader in and let them become a part of the "narrative" if they want to and relate to it hehe. kind of make them (and me) feel less alone in this feeling

second chorus talking abt masks is once again smth i put in a lot of what i write (<- joker kinnie. again) askflglg sorry for not being original it will happen again 👍 but what can i say, it's relevant to the topic!!

in the last one i tried adding some sense of urgency. a reminder that this comes after the build up of the bridge, so it'll either be more intense or more quiet. haven't decided yet.

"maybe one day I'll fit" goes with the original "unfit" idea. bc at the end of the day this is what it's all about yknow? gotta make up a humansona and constantly roleplay as it to get through.

and through that "maybe one day" sentiment I'll slide into the outro. it's less sung than it is spoken sing-songly and dramatically to the beat (speaking of, i imagine a slight key change by now, as well as the music itself becoming more chaotic and intense and messy for this part), so i didn't bother much with rhyming or a steady pace heh

i mean. can it really be something i wrote without at least one reference to death and/or being a slut (<- dazai kinnie).

actually ironically "better die as myself than be loved as a character" might be my favorite line in the whole thing bc. well as i said the song is sarcastic. in its essence it's about being TIRED of pretending to be someone else. it's about how it's not something you actually want, you only want its benefits. but eventually, at the end of the song, you're just too tired to keep it up. all shows have to end eventually. and, this connects back to the first chorus - "maybe one day I'll be myself", kind of implying this one day might be in death, since all of life is pretending (only good vibes and fun on this blog ♡)

but. not dead yet. and i still want the benefits. so better find an alternative! nobody needs to know who you are if you've got tits they can touch! - is what i learned growing up and as a teen it never failed me lol.

so, the song ends with finally taking off the mask, but. taking off everything else in the process as well. all for being wanted, or the pretense of being loved, because that's the only thing that matters 👌

and that's it! i apologize for being depressing and for how long it got, but i hope you liked it anyway uwu

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Hey! I was curious how you made your spreadsheet for all your fics - was there a certain way you set it up or a tutorial you followed? I’m drowning in the number of docs I have and this seems like a great way to organize them - if you can’t remember then it’s all good! I just thought I would ask 💕

hi hi hi so about the spreadsheet i was talking about with @tasteleeknow in this post, it's pretty simple actually, it might take a bit of time but it's been worth it in the long run for me. i'll try to be a thorough as i can !

first, of course, go to google sheets and create a new one (i suppose you can also do it in MS Excel, this is just what i had available at the time)

like i said in the post, i used these items for the first row: title, character, status, reader's gender, published on ao3, published on tumblr, AU1, AU2, publish date, length, word count, fluff, smut, angst, other themes. so add those or whichever ones you need (i originally had two for "group" and "member" just in case i decided to write for different groups, but since i haven't i haven't had the need to use them, i suppose smth like this can be useful if you write for several fandoms):

once you have them there, select the items and click on this button and "create new filter view", this will help out later if you want to see only specific things:

once you have that, you can start filling in your second row with your info:

now, this step i did bc it makes it easier for me to find stuff, i fixed the position of the very first row and the columns from "title" to "character". this way when you scroll you can always see those items. so first, select the entire first row (you can do so by clicking on the "1" on the left), right click, click on "view more row actions" and then "freeze up to row 1":

then do the same for the columns you want. if you want to freeze a set of letters (in my case, i want letter A to letter D to be fixed), go to the last letter in the group, click on it so it selects the entire column, go to "view more column actions" and then "freeze up to column D" (this letter will depend on the one you need of course, it won't always be D):

once you have that is just a matter of filling everything in :)

i realised yesterday i can also link directly to google docs in the spreadsheet, so i have been adding those links in the "title" column for easy access !

(to add a link you just select the cell you want, right click, "insert link"):

and then you can either add a link to the web (like an AO3 link) or you can search your google doc:

so i hope that helps ! in the originaly post i described some more nuanced details on the specific items but yea this is the gist of it ! hope it wasn't too convoluted. if anything isn't clear let me know and i'll try to elaborate further :)

[clarabowmp3]

I think Taylor's doing too many projects (evidence by her confusing them frequently) and not taking the time to fine tune and think deeply about what she'd doing or trying to express. I get the creeative desire to create unlimitedly and I used to get mad at my fave artists for not creating fast enough but Taylor proves you can create too much and lose vision, perspective, and message. I thought Taylor's Versions were supposed to be about making the TV's close to the OG's but sometimes they were not. TTPD could have been a great project but some songs on it should have stayed in the vault or on the b-side. BDILH and ICFHNRIC should have stayed in the vault.

Oh wdym by her confusing them? I’ve been a little out of the loop recently hehe but yup yup I think her recent projects have suffered from her not giving them the proper time. She’s working rlly hard for sure, but some things, esp art, thrive best when u take the time to create and then come back to it later to fine tune it. I think guts is an excellent example of what proper care and attention to art can produce! It’s one of my very few no skips album, every lyric, beat, note is soooo perfect and the songs all go SO hard. While I like songs from ttpd/the vault songs, it takes more effort for me to like them, usually cuz there’s smth I don’t like abt the song that I have to look past to even try to enjoy it.

Fearless tv (and maybe red tv) are the only rerecordings I can say I truly like/have been improved if not stayed the same by re-recording. I stopped buying the vinyls for them at speak now tv after how disappointing the og tracks were (I’ve barely listened to them for that reason also WHAT did she do to my girl haunted?? 😭😭)

It very much feels like she’s just doing whatever she can to stay relevant/on top - the synthification of her past albums (which is such a major part of their charm - esp for the older ones! Tho idk how much of it is cuz of jacks influence), going to absurd lengths to break records (the 30-song album COULD use some trimming down/editing, the multiple variants), making clear references to real ppl to stir up drama/reaffirm the cult following like it’s just tacky atp (thank you aimee, bdilh), plus the whole tayvis thing becoming part of her branding.

[jjwho]

Ok idk if u r done with the exchange readings or not😥 like if u r gonna post more or not n I should just wait. The thing is.. even I sent one, and now here I'm seeing others' readings😅. They're all concise & a share a similar format. Like they all sent one assumption in exchange for 3 or initials smth🤔. I think I misunderstood the format😰😵 bcz I legit sent 3 para assumptions abt you☠️.. Bcz I thought it's supposed to be like that bcz u mentioned smth abt "matching the length"😰 I hope mine isn't cancelled🤞😥

Hii yes I noticed 😅 it's alright because you mentioned assumption about me so I didn't answer your ask yet for that reason since it didn't fall under the right category . Someone else also did the same thing so I won't be able to answer your ask. Sorry about that

Enjoy the rest of your dayy

[currently-undeterminded]

HELLO.

i most probably should get some basic story info down incase someone actually will be interested in this project (which i doubt honestly) soooo i guess there we go??? i will try to be as grammatically correct as i can (english isnt my first language and its almost midnight so i wont be reading it through to catch any mistakes)

So basically the whole idea of the game is that theres a planet in another galaxy theres a planet that humans invaded (this being year 4000 smth) and made colonies on since it was very similar to Earth. Turns out though that on that planet theres life, a lot of it. Theres a whole flora and fauna there livin its own life and stuff but uh oh, the humans do not like that, they want this planet to themselfs. The closest things to humans on this planet are golems (i will explain what they are in a bit) who the humans see as threats to their colonies. And so come wars, imprisonment of the golems and eventually tests on them. Yeah it isnt very "humane" but they considered them just dumb animals to that extent and these humans that got the opportunity to live at another planet are dumb rich assholes so what else could someone expect.

For the golems thing:

The golems are these creatures whose bodies are different kinds of stones (and other materials related to the area they live in) that are held together by runes in the middle of their being. (very shit quality image woooo)

Of course they dont all look the same, there are just certain qualities to them that can make them identifiable. These qualities are:

engravings (ofc)

width and length

texture

material

With that im gonna end the starter thing and the next i will probably cover is characters, but that is once i get all of the most important ones sorted out.

how the fuck am i supposed to end this

[ghostandahalf]

a ~french~ dream ?

okay so in the dream i was on a (school implied) group trip to france that apparently i had had to be convinced to go on ? (how you know its a dream amirite)

there was also a part where our group was going to a park or museum or smth and i also had to be convince to play pokemon go in france. for some reason. weird

so anyway in the dream i had a boyfriend with shoulder-length hair and was a little taller than me. we got away from the group and i dont remember what we did originally but then we were trying to get back to the group and we saw them in the distance and tried to catch up and somehow ended up on the pitch of a ligue 1 stadium like. what how idk. so we managed to get out of there with the help of a random lady then we caught back up with the group

so our group is having a ball ? fancy dress thing ? and it involved putting stuff in your hair then getting an outfit made. bf and i were waiting in line after the hair ordeal then i switched lines bc there were two and i ?? didnt want us in the same line for some reason ??? anyway. get up to the desk at the front of the line and a lady sketches a dress for me and i approve the design and move forward to wait in front of this giant curtain

the curtain is showing images of mannequins wearing the dress designs but the fabric keeps changing and when a fabric you like shows up you're supposed to walk through and it will make your dress in that fabric. so i waited through a few different ones then i walked through when it looked like the fabric was black with dark blue flower-like blotches and tiny red scattered dots

i walk through and a guy (implied to be someone i remembered and liked from earlier in the dream?) led me to the place to stand while it made my dress then it ... did it ? but the fabric was wrong. it was an ugly green and red and gold brocade with a random bird idk but def wrong.

i was looking in a mirror and waiting for bf to see what he thought when i woke up

[club577]

wait so that half-oph half-something else thing that dan was talking abt in the q&a? could it be half-oph half-dreams of the past?

[botanyshitposts]

is that why you think mammals have more than two sexes

idk if this was supposed to be like, a bizarre transphobic jab, but partially, actually. in biology very, very few things actually occur in binary groups; i prefer to imagine biological sex, as well as gender, by imagining two overlapping bell curves. there’s an average that we expect from gender and sex matching up at birth because most people will fall within the first quartile of the curves where all the most average genes were turned on and all the non-genetic factors surrounding that turn out in an average expected way, and there are more people who still are just as male or female but have different genes turned on and off or whatnot and wouldnt check every single box if like, The Chromosome Police showed up and made them do a cheek swab or whatever, and there are people who are intersex, which covers a wide range of different expressions of the genome.

but! we don’t have The Chromosome Police and we don’t need them, because we have gender to do this for us, which is something that has much more to do with a mix of genetic and sociological factors. in my opinion, gender makes it so that even if you’re a cis man who doesnt have like, idk penis gene #435 on the Y chromosome, youre still a man, and even if youre a woman who doesnt have vagina gene #874 turned on, youre still a woman. hell, some people go their entire lives without knowing that they have full extra chromosomes. it just....it just doesnt matter.

to expand on this, my theory is that gender serves the function of convenience more than like, a law or whatever; we have a system where there are usually a small set of things that happen as a result of a wide range of thousands of different things that turn off and on during development, and a lot of different moving parts are going on in that department that help mitigate disaster if one deletes itself or whatever, and not all those things are guaranteed to turn on or off, and as a result we’ve developed a system where regardless of whats in your pants- because anything could be there, honestly, evolution works in systems and as a result doesnt know or care- there’s a social thing that functions differently on another level thats more elastic, so no matter if you’re a woman who was born with one singular penis gene turned on or a woman who had a lot of them turn on, you both can kind of be in the same clump of ‘people who are this’. not ‘people who look like this’ or ‘people who do this thing’ or ‘people who have x combinations of chromosomes’, but ‘people who, for whatever multitude of reasons and results or relationships with themselves, are this way or another way or are existing successfully in some distant combination of ways’, and having those people around- if we follow this theory- apparently was not at all disastrous enough for evolution to pump the breaks and start killing people who never activated Penis And Vagina Gene #1456. in fact, trans people have been around as long as humans have, and that includes nonbinary people, intersex people, and cis people with different gender expressions. ancient societies had us around, there are just as many of us now as there always was, and biology just. it does not care.

think of all the things that go into a person. there is a whole lot of stuff that we do not understand. there are so many things that could change, or differ from individual to individual, and having a lot of moving parts like this with millions of different viable combinations of biological and environmental things works, because it means that the entire system doesnt break like a fucking twig if both a penis and a vagina gene turn on at the same time, or if little grog in the forest grows up hunting mammoths with his 8 moms and no dads in a nomadic tribe in prehistoric france. it also means that even if someone ends up as another combination, they dont immediately collapse into a heap of dust! great system, for the most part.

now, this is all contentious. first of all, this is my own set of theories on why this exists, and second of all i have complex feelings about the science surrounding this itself; as a biologist im fascinated, but as a trans queer person it’s terrifying. the reason this is is because there are two groups of people who want to learn things like this: people who actually want to study the details of human sex and gender, and people who want to find The Ultimate Queer Gene to ‘fix’ us forever, which like. as ive covered before. egregious moral, ethical, and basic human rights reasons aside. not something that actually would improve us as a species even if we did go to the farthest ends of the bell curves i mentioned and manage to transform the entire human race into two massive homogeneous supermale and superfemale groups with only the the most Epic And Extreme big dick and boob genes selected for (or, if were going off TERF logic, femurs of a bizarrely specific length or like, a skull shape or smth, you can see where this goes very quickly).

like. this shit is complicated. it is. sometimes, things in biology- especially when it comes to real people of our own species- are best left as enigmas, you know what im saying. but in the meantime, we can take estimates, we can say ‘we can make an educated guess about the biological sex of a skeleton by looking at their pelvis’, but we cant say ‘all cis women have femurs of exactly x cm, which is absolutely a normal and not creepy thing to obsess over’, and we cant say ‘all human beings are either male or female and that looks one of two ways’, because as we know from intersex people and all the other caveats in this subject, this is not true.

we can say with confidence that most human beings have a gender that matches what is average for their biological sex (which doesnt always define itself as the exact same set of characteristics to begin with) but not always, and most human beings have have a gender which falls vaguely under the umbrella of two vaguely defined existences, but not always, and most women have a femur length between x and x cm long, but women come in all shapes and sizes and therefore it isnt a good way to define what being a living breathing person of a particular circumstance means or looks like, holy shit, etc, and we can use this knowledge to make educated guesses about the world, but we can also use knowledge of what isn’t the majority of people to make educated guesses about what those guesses mean, and what roles they play (and hopefully will get some more rights in the meantime).

so yeah like. most people are one of two biological sexes, but its more complicated than ‘peepis or vagornio’, you feel.