#as far as breaking our and causing general harm

[scintillyyy]

anyways, the thing is that joker as a villain was important post-jason's death, but pre-jason's resurrection he was used sparingly & he was honestly. in jail or arkham for most of that time? let's see:

immediately post jason's death, he's presumed dead for about 6 months

when he comes back, bruce has him put in arhkam

he breaks out once while bruce is out of town, tim & alfred put him back

he stays in arkham until bane breaks out all of the villains in order to break batman. he hires a motion picture studio to film him killing batman, but alas this is azbats & azbats sends to him blackgate. he does get away on the way here, and then goes into hiding and doesn't do anything for a bit bc he doesn't want to do anything bc he doesn't care about fake batman.

at some point he's caught and put back in arhkam. as far as i remember he doesn't really play a role in contangion or legacy?

he's firmly locked up during the entirety of cataclysm. he and the other villains torture a guard & he does manipulate another resident to commit a crime to torment batman but during this time he is firmly locked up.

he is *let out* with all the other arkham villains by jeremiah arkham immediately prior to no man's land and is trapped in gotham for the duration of the year, during which he's a pretty minor role because they save him for the last villain captured.

he is captured at the end of no man's land, and sent to the slab.

he is imprisoned in the slab until joker's last laugh in which case he instigates a break out and jokerizes everyone due to being told he's dying of a brain tumor

following joker's last laugh he's left in the slab in solitary confinement for a good deal of time.

at some point he breaks out for batman: hush, following which is war games and then utrh

so in that period, he got out of imprisonment a grand total of 4 times (maybe 5. there might be a random break out involving etrigan in there that i missed). 2 of those times he was *broken out* by someone not him/extenuating circumstances out of his control vs him breaking out. this was a real-time period of *15 years*. so while it seems like he's "in and out of arkham constantly" he's really. not. the system of keeping him in prison *works* for the most part (at least during that period). the times he does get out and attempt to cause harm, he is usually stopped and his victims saved. he doesn't really escape any more frequently than any other villain, or cause more harm than them when they escape at the time his body count wasn't more *excessive* than say, poison ivy or killer croc or two face or the order of st dumas (who infected gotham with a super virus and killed hundreds of thousands of people with ebola) or even ra's al ghul (who also attempted to use ebola to wipe out all of gotham, but was thwarted. the important part is he was going to do it.). so yea, the fact is. while they've jumped the shark with the joker in recent years he wasn't this huge constant menance. he was, for the large majority of it, actually doing his time. idk.

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

[granulesofsand]

Hazbin Hotel: Valentino

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, perpetration

I spent a few minutes trying to gather what the controversy around Hazbin Hotel entails, and I did not succeed. So I’m going to keep talking about it, because we already watched it and anyone who hasn’t can find video essays that explain far more than the blips of relevance in the show itself.

Valentino. He is actively engaging in trafficking and exploitation of others, and whether he is causing harm is not the question. He is.

It is the manner in which casual viewers cast judgement upon him that stings. Not ‘casual’ as in watching for fun, ‘casual’ as in unaffected by the themes of the media. People who have never been at either end of organized abuse in any capacity.

It comes back to the discussion of what it means when you talk about an archetype rather than a character. Valentino is an interesting character who can be analyzed in combination with techniques such as lighting, music, and motion. Traffickers and exploitative perpetrators are not the same. Traffickers and exploiters are real.

I can tolerate people relating those identities to the character of Valentino — it raises my hackles because I have trauma, not because of the conversation is necessarily offensive.

I don’t like when people take those traits and decide that Valentino is not redeemable or doesn’t deserve redemption, because we don’t know enough about Valentino to grasp how he became the perp he is — instead, people take the base knowledge that OA hurts people and demeans all perpetrators of OA.

We are perpetrators of OA. In our external reality, we were generationally involved in a religious organization that emphasized the spiritual value of harm. We have been tortured repeatedly until our abusers created a new self who would fit the role they needed. We have been hurt this way since we came into this world as a babe, and we have hurt others since we could walk.

That is a world, several worlds, of pain. It was inflicted because it had been so for hundreds of years, and none were capable of ending the cycle. We left, we are alive, because we got very lucky several times over.

And some of those selves — none of us went away after we formed — identify with Valentino. As it stands, the alignment with abusers (beyond immediate coercion) is familiar, and those selves don’t see media reflecting them often.

We are not perpetrating currently. We are in therapy and working together to heal, but it is slow, hard work. It lessens the shame to see what happened to us happened to others, and those selves were not being bad for surviving.

A lot of the ‘evil’ traits Valentino displays are cluster B Personality Disorder traits. People with cluster B PDs often adapted that way through trauma, because that was how they survived.

Giving those selves dignity and respect despite their behavior allows them space to reevaluate whether they still need those behaviors. They have to learn to override the automatic response they relied on for years, and for us they have to do that while dodging training and torture memories designed to keep them in their place.

We are real. Survivors, multiple or singlet, are real. And the only people who get to forgive perpetration are the victims and the perpetrators.

If you were not our victim, your opinion matters far less to us. If you were neither a victim nor a perpetrator, your opinion might as well not exist. It probably shouldn’t, unless you have some lived or learned experience you’re working off.

When you generalize statements about perpetrators, you are going to hit people who were coerced, adapted to survive, or never learned better. That could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back; healing is the worst, sometimes worse than living it the first time, and there are enough barriers without tossing in a poorly thought out comment in the mix.

Valentino exists only in the media and the interpretations of those who consume it. Survivors, including perpetrators, are real. Please try to be more gentle with heavy topics.

[bunnidid-reviews]

DID Short Films

Something I really enjoy is watching short films about DID :) it's always intriguing to see what sort of representation can be showed in a few short minutes, and just how much care and attention to detail is put into it.

I don't have the energy to do a full review of each, but here's a lil list of my favorite short DID films, along with some trigger warnings!

___________

Petals of a Rose

Triggers to watch out for:

a non-explicit incestuous childhood sexual abuse flashback (there's a safe version to watch with this part cut out in the same link!)

a safe and gentle non-explicit sex scene

dissociating and switching during sex

spiraling, hitting self, friction between parts

over-crowded dialogue

Things I love about this short:

We get multiple stellar scenes of what it can feel like to have DID - like being overwhelmed in the grocery store, talking yourself through the steps of it all. I really related to a lot of this

A good representation of how both positive and negative triggers can cause switches

communication between parts!

the implication of there being more parts yet to be found and how that's just kind of an accepted reality? I don't know if thats relatable for anyone else, but it really is for me

A LOVING AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP :DDD a partner who loves and supports and listens even if he doesn't fully understands, but clearly wants to. The amount of relief I felt when the partner STAYED with her after experiencing triggers during sex!!

The reiterations at the end that Now Time Is Safe and also, We Deserve to be Loved, and also, Each and every part is appreciated and loved

________________

Alter

Triggers to watch out for:

mild friction between parts

time loss + confusion

Things I love about this short:

The actress who portrayed the parts did a really stunning job with expressing complicated emotions surrounding time loss and the acceptance of a new part showing up

portraying a well-established system with functional multiplicity!

the use of color to portray parts is something I always remember about this one! I love that each part represents a color! I love that you can see all those colors throughout the home and in the outfits!! I love the rainbow-striped shirt she wore in the end with all the alters' colors + extra space, as if to signify that they're ready to accept more parts!!! aaaa!!! Such a great aesthetic to this film

I was SO pleased there really isnt anything triggering about this film. It's important to indicate that trauma creates the disorder, but it's SO nice when we get a bit of a break from the Horrors

supportive therapist :D

_____________

Alters and Me

Triggers to watch out for:

Mentions of trauma/abuse (very general + vague)

use of Alcohol to cope

self harm, visible scars

yelling/crying

Things I love about this short:

I like that this one's more like a general overview of the alters and how our main character came to understand and accept her DID

nonhuman alter representation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (a doggo)

The alter who struggles with alcoholic coping and self harm has a realistic reformation arc and turns out to be a cherished caretaker!!

Overall this one's pretty short, but very down to earth and realistic without being too triggering. I liked it a lot!

_______________________

I'm sure there are others that are good too, but that's my list for now! I tried to choose ones that didn't lean too far into horror trope editing or twists so they're safe for anyone to watch :) I might add to this sometime in the future if I see more

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy! Feel free to let me know your thoughts or share some of your favorites with me, you know I'm always curious to hear about this stuff

[berylcups]

PT 2-How La Squadra react to you calling them their nickname/term of endearment:

CW: mentions of polyamory and queer relationship discrimination

Notes: Here's part 2! This was actually pretty fun! If anyone has similar HCs/reacts they would like please send them in! It was refreshing to do something fluffy-ish rather than just lewd for once! I’m still working on Sorbet and Gelatos personalities so I hope they don’t seem too generic or stereotypical, but theres not much of them to work off of…other than them screaming and dying. Yikes. But I hope you all enjoy! 💜Beryl

Risotto: “Rissi, I’m heading to the grocery store.” You announced turning the knob to his office. “ is there anything special you want for dinner tonig-oh shit” you saw he wasn’t alone. Prosciutto and Pesci were in the room with him talking about some target.

“I’m so sorry- I didn’t know you were busy- I’ll come back later.”

Prosciutto cleared his throat upon hearing that cutesy name and Pesci looked away trying to hide his blush.

“We can touch base on further details later. This should be enough to get started with.” He dismissed them, acting unaffected by the name.

They promptly took their leave, just leaving you and your beloved leader alone.

“I’m so sorry, Risotto. I didn’t know you were busy. I should’ve known bette-“ you stuttered worried you embarrassed him.

“It’s fine.” He cut you off. “It’s just the guys. They know better than to mess with me about the names you call me.” He chuckled. 

“Although for future reference…” he started looking up at you with a serious expression. “This might be a habit you should break. If any of our enemies know we are connected, they might try to harm you and I just couldn’t live with myself knowing I caused your demise.” He said. “I already lost one too many people dear to me.”

You walked over to him by the desk and gave him a huge hug. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that.” He hugged back and gave you a soft kiss on the shell of your ear. 

“Good. Because the day you die is the day I die. I love you Angelo/a.” He sighed in relief. 

This big guy has to be stoic 24/7 so in front of others he’s going to keep things professional. As far as he cares in front of the guys you can call him all the names you want but he isn’t going to acknowledge them 😂 call him zaddy and he’ll just continue talking about what mission is next… or if you’re overdoing it he’ll give you a warning “ok, that’s enough.” type of look. 

Of course in private he’ll call you pet names but… he’s not very creative but he’s dramatic so he’ll call you the vita mia, cuore mio, caro/a, and angelo/a. 

Prosciutto: “Prosci I’m back! The mission was a success! It’s all thanks to you that I’m able to work by myself now!” You said happily as you came through the door. 

“Prosci??? Pfft” formaggio snickered. 

A few of the others were snickering or trying to hold back a smile. Prosciutto put an end to this quickly with a deadly glare. 

“Really? That’s wonderful news Y/N. I’m very proud of you.” He said as he guided you to somewhere a little more private.

“Y/N… I love you with all my heart but remember what we agreed upon?” He asked. “We must keep our affections private.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Prosciutto. I must have really embarrassed you.” You said dejectedly looking away from him.

“No. Never.” He said firmly as he gently lifted your face to meet his. He gently bumped his forehead up against yours. 

“You are my beloved partner and I love you no matter what. But in this world we must remain distant in front of others so I can protect you.” He explained gently caressing your face . 

“Also… we have to set a good example for Pesci. He may be a mammoni but he has so much potential and it’s up to us to help him unlock it. Understand?”

“Understand.” You said with a small smile.

“That’s my good angelo/a.” He smiled back and kissed you on the forehead. 

He’s not very affectionate in public but he is chivalrous. He’ll open the door for you, pour your wine, take your jacket, etc… 

In private he’ll call you his favorite pet names with a kiss on the cheek.

He’ll use the classic names like Tesoro, Caro/a, Bambino/a, or calls you his angelo/a. 😇

Sorbet & Gelato:  “Sorby Gelly I’m upset!” You whined.

“Aww what’s wrong lil sundae?” Asked Gelato.

“You know the drill-come sit down and tell us what’s wrong.” Added Sorbet patting Gelatos lap.

You moped over and somehow found your spot in the dog pile of legs and laps on the chair.

“You know Valentines is next month and I saw this cool fancy spa I wanted us to go to-“ you started with putting the magazine page in their faces. “Seeee??? But they are all TwO pEoPlE oNlY!!! This is unfair! They act like the entire world is monogamous and straight! Bullshit!” you complained.

“Oh, that does look nice. I could use a massage, my back has been killing me lately.” Sorbet read through the page.

“Mud baths and facials too? I’m in.” Gelato looked at the pictures.

“But what about the restrictions?” you asked.

“Oh Y/N. Do you have any idea who you’re in a relationship with? We’ll get you that perfect valentine's day, whether they want to serve 3 people or not.” Gelato cooed, patting your head to comfort you.

“Of course they’ll take care of us…if they wanna live that is.” Sorbet added rubbing your back. “Or we could show them our knife collection instead. Their choice.”

“Yay~! I can’t wait! I’ll be sure to add a reminder to my calendar to make a reservation for later.” you said gleefully.

“Anything to keep our little sundae happy~.” they both said in unison and kissed you on both sides of your cheeks.

“...” Illuso gulped trying to hold back the bile rising in his throat. The PDA is just overwhelming!

The other men in the room wanted to throw up from the mushiness. It's gotten worse ever since they added you into their relationship but they know better than to say anything after Illuso made fun of you three and ended up with a knife in his thigh. 

Sorbet and Gelato are the kings of PDA! They are always cuddled up on one another and now you’re included on the love fest. They are gonna sit on your lap, you're gonna sit in their lap, you're gonna sit on one's lap while the other sits on your lap, etc. And they’re generous with the pet names as well!

They both like names that match up with their names, so you get named after frozen treats like Sundae, Granita, Sherbet, Snowcone…along with the typical names like caro/a, tersoro, and amore too. They have a long list of names to call you, so it doesn’t simply end there!

[aspd-culture]

Hi I'm new here so sorry if this has already been answered, people with aspd are often referred to as callous and cold but the rate of anxiety and depression with them is quite high thanks to it being a trauma disorder, so how do the two things coexist? Shouldn't they be mutually exclusive?

Firstly welcome!/pos

So unfortunately, the public's perception of ASPD has gotten very mixed with the understanding of the actual symptoms of ASPD. Callous and cold are certainly personality traits that are more likely to appear in pwASPD, but that is not all of us. In personality disorders, due to the nature of them being baked into our personality, which is part biological and part environmental, you will see heavy variations in symptoms.

Additionally, a part of the actual evaluations for ASPD (at least both of the ones I took to get diagnosed - I am from the US for reference) is questions relating to being charismatic/charming and "masters of manipulation". Even the public perception hits on this - saying we are "always playing a social chess game". Those things aren't really compatible with being callous and cold all the time.

To get more into this in the context of your question, though, as you mentioned, ASPD is almost always caused by some amount of trauma. To my understanding as someone with a background in child development, especially in early childhood, our brains basically got here one of two ways if it's trauma based.

The first is our brains developing under the belief that the symptoms of ASPD are just how everyone is, due to being exposed to poor examples or a lack of exmaples of things like remorse, empathy, warmth, etc. This generally comes from abusive/neglectful/emotionally unavailable adults in the child's life and a lack of presence of adults that would guide the child's brain into the natural development of these things because children are literally always learning in the first few years of life especially, and the brain is forming itself around the understanding that the adults give the child of how a human being thinks/acts/behaves/responds.

The other is having specific trauma break down the prior, proper development under the belief that it was either entirely mistaken and people are supposed to behave another way, or as a protective reaction when the brain believes it cannot survive any other way. Research has pointed to trauma directly impacting the neurology of people with PTSD at any age, and that is especially prominent in the ages that ASPD first starts showing up at (15 and younger).

Regardless of which it is, there is more than *just* ASPD being made most of the time in either of these circumstances. When things are unstable in a child's life, they become very likely to develop any number of anxiety disorders. When led to the belief that nothing will ever be good, anyone of any age tends to end up depressed, and pwASPD generally have experiences that have made us see things that way for a *very* long time.

Depression especially is very compatible with ASPD even in public perception - lack of motivation, disinterest in socializing, maladaptive understanding of the world (believing nothing will get better), etc. are symptoms of both ASPD and Major Depressive Disorder.

As for anxiety, it isn't incompatible, but it is probably fairly far removed from the anxiety that prosocials have, specifically in what the anxiety centers on. It is less likely (but definitely not impossible) that a pwASPD would have anxiety about wanting others to like them or worrying about social interactions, but it is very likely to see pwASPD having anxiety about the risk of harm coming to them, people being "out to get us", or that anything good in our life may be unstable and can be lost or taken from us. Insecurity in relationships is common in ASPD because of that type of anxiety - we tend to struggle with the belief that the other shoe will drop, so to speak, any time things seem good or calm in our life. That alone causes a serious amount of anxiety.

These kinds of misconceptions generally come from a specific misrepresentation of ASPD - the idea that we have no emotions or cannot feel certain particular emotions. While sometimes our emotions can be blunted, and some pwASPD are incapable of feeling particular emotions, which ones in particular vary greatly. Boredom and anger/irritation are pretty much always able to be felt by pwASPD to some degree, but outside of that there's a lot of different presentations of the muted emotions trait (not a diagnostic criteria required for diagnosis btw, it's just a common trait seen in many pwASPD). Some people find themselves incapable of feeling things like fear/anxiety and/or depression, sure, but others like me actually feel those at full force but experience heavily mutes positive emotions like happiness. And again, not all of us even have blunted emotions at all, removing any reason we wouldn't be able to have depression or anxiety.

By the way, nothing bad against you for this question!! It absolutely makes sense that this would be confusing to understand what with the common ways that ASPD is talked about and shown in pop culture, documentaries, and often even academic materials. I hold no ill will towards anyone with any genuine misunderstanding of ASPD. It is extremely difficult to grasp the truth of life with this disorder because even the sources that should be reliable often aren't - with small sample sizes, poor sample randomness (so many studies about ASPD are taken exclusively on prisoners), self-reporting (why the hell would we trust a random researcher), and even people who were diagnosed on the stand without advisement from any mental health professional (so people who may not even *have* ASPD, but they have what someone in the legal system *thought* was ASPD). It is so heavily stigmatized and misrepresented that I also had many of these perceptions well into my teen years, even as I recognized symptoms of ASPD in myself. This whole post is /info, I just have terrible issues with tone due to my autism.

Plain text below the cut:

Firstly welcome!/pos

So unfortunately, the public's perception of ASPD has gotten very mixed with the understanding of the actual symptoms of ASPD. Callous and cold are certainly personality traits that are more likely to appear in pwASPD, but that is not all of us. In personality disorders, due to the nature of them being baked into our personality, which is part biological and part environmental, you will see heavy variations in symptoms.

Additionally, a part of the actual evaluations for ASPD (at least both of the ones I took to get diagnosed - I am from the US for reference) is questions relating to being charismatic/charming and "masters of manipulation". Even the public perception hits on this - saying we are "always playing a social chess game". Those things aren't really compatible with being callous and cold all the time.

To get more into this in the context of your question, though, as you mentioned, ASPD is almost always caused by some amount of trauma. To my understanding as someone with a background in child development, especially in early childhood, our brains basically got here one of two ways if it's trauma based.

The first is our brains developing under the belief that the symptoms of ASPD are just how everyone is, due to being exposed to poor examples or a lack of exmaples of things like remorse, empathy, warmth, etc. This generally comes from abusive/neglectful/emotionally unavailable adults in the child's life and a lack of presence of adults that would guide the child's brain into the natural development of these things because children are literally always learning in the first few years of life especially, and the brain is forming itself around the understanding that the adults give the child of how a human being thinks/acts/behaves/responds.

The other is having specific trauma break down the prior, proper development under the belief that it was either entirely mistaken and people are supposed to behave another way, or as a protective reaction when the brain believes it cannot survive any other way. Research has pointed to trauma directly impacting the neurology of people with PTSD at any age, and that is especially prominent in the ages that ASPD first starts showing up at (15 and younger).

Regardless of which it is, there is more than *just* ASPD being made most of the time in either of these circumstances. When things are unstable in a child's life, they become very likely to develop any number of anxiety disorders. When led to the belief that nothing will ever be good, anyone of any age tends to end up depressed, and pwASPD generally have experiences that have made us see things that way for a *very* long time.

Depression especially is very compatible with ASPD even in public perception - lack of motivation, disinterest in socializing, maladaptive understanding of the world (believing nothing will get better), etc. are symptoms of both ASPD and Major Depressive Disorder.

As for anxiety, it isn't incompatible, but it is probably fairly far removed from the anxiety that prosocials have, specifically in what the anxiety centers on. It is less likely (but definitely not impossible) that a pwASPD would have anxiety about wanting others to like them or worrying about social interactions, but it is very likely to see pwASPD having anxiety about the risk of harm coming to them, people being "out to get us", or that anything good in our life may be unstable and can be lost or taken from us. Insecurity in relationships is common in ASPD because of that type of anxiety - we tend to struggle with the belief that the other shoe will drop, so to speak, any time things seem good or calm in our life. That alone causes a serious amount of anxiety.

These kinds of misconceptions generally come from a specific misrepresentation of ASPD - the idea that we have no emotions or cannot feel certain particular emotions. While sometimes our emotions can be blunted, and some pwASPD are incapable of feeling particular emotions, which ones in particular vary greatly. Boredom and anger/irritation are pretty much always able to be felt by pwASPD to some degree, but outside of that there's a lot of different presentations of the muted emotions trait (not a diagnostic criteria required for diagnosis btw, it's just a common trait seen in many pwASPD). Some people find themselves incapable of feeling things like fear/anxiety and/or depression, sure, but others like me actually feel those at full force but experience heavily mutes positive emotions like happiness. And again, not all of us even have blunted emotions at all, removing any reason we wouldn't be able to have depression or anxiety.

By the way, nothing bad against you for this question!! It absolutely makes sense that this would be confusing to understand what with the common ways that ASPD is talked about and shown in pop culture, documentaries, and often even academic materials. I hold no ill will towards anyone with any genuine misunderstanding of ASPD. It is extremely difficult to grasp the truth of life with this disorder because even the sources that should be reliable often aren't - with small sample sizes, poor sample randomness (so many studies about ASPD are taken exclusively on prisoners), self-reporting (why the hell would we trust a random researcher), and even people who were diagnosed on the stand without advisement from any mental health professional (so people who may not even *have* ASPD, but they have what someone in the legal system *thought* was ASPD). It is so heavily stigmatized and misrepresented that I also had many of these perceptions well into my teen years, even as I recognized symptoms of ASPD in myself. This whole post is /info, I just have terrible issues with tone due to my autism.

[multi-fandomsfreak]

Maybe ya could do Xenophanes with a reader who can't feel pain

Xenophanes with a reader who can’t feel pain

Not going to lie I think this is one of my favourite requests that I’ve gotten so far. Besides the Amy one. I felt like I had so much to write about our favourite crystallised hedgehog. Also, correct me if I’m wrong but I think this is an actual condition not sure what it’s called though. Anyways let’s get on with this. ~ J/Blaze

Pronouns: Not Mentioned

Warning: ⚠️Torture/Mentions Of Being Torture + Violence + Harm Done To Reader + Xeno Being Sadistic⚠️️

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: Xenophane

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by ash011037 on Pinterest + Banner by triviastar on Pinterest

———————————

- Not going to lie knowing how xeno is he’s probably going to be a combination of pissed, excited and intrigued all at the same time. Obviously he’s intrigued. He's never had a victim who can’t feel pain like sure on the rare occasion he had some that have high pain tolerance but overall were still able to feel some sort of pain but you're very different compared to them. On the other hand he’s also kind of pissed off because no matter what harm he does to you whether it’s tearing your body apart, ripping your skin off of you or something as simple as breaking one or multiple bones you won’t feel it but at the same time he’s sort of excited because he can do whatever he wants to you. He could let out his anger onto you because he’ll know you won’t feel it. However, despite knowing this he will try his best to find out what will cause you to feel pain much to his annoyance that he couldn't. He's not going to give up easily.

- As mentioned before despite his annoyance that he’ll have to find other ways to torture you mostly mentally/emotionally since pain doesn’t effect you he is generally curious on how you discovered it. I mean who knows what might have happened to you for someone to recognise that you can’t feel pain. You could be in some seriously dangerous situation and you would’ve been fine mentally of course definitely not physically. If he has to be honest that actually excites him in a way as he thought about the million different situations you’ve possibly been in. It doesn’t excite him in a sexual way of course but still with xeno being a sadistic person of course he couldn’t help but be slightly giddy to himself. If he is feeling curious and maybe generous enough he may take a break from hurting you to ask how you discovered what he considers a ‘phenomenal’ feature. He considers you to be very special and one of his most interesting victims.

- I can imagine xeno being very goddamn surprised when he first discovered that you react very differently to pain compared to other people who were screaming bloody murder from the harm being done to them but when he was finally able to catch you like all the other pathetic mortals he was getting ready for the best part the one he always looks forward to:

+ “aw what a shame it looks like you’ve lost” xenophane said in his usual cocky attitude as he pulled you towards him forcibly grabbing you by the neck as tight he was able to get it. Although you couldn’t feel the tightness of xenophanes grip, just having his hand around his throat combined with his cocky attitude made you just as uncomfortable and scared as if you were feeling the pain. “I wonder what I could do to make you scream.” A smirk then appeared on Xenophane's face as he dragged his claws over your stomach, scraping you before immediately digging it into you causing a small wound to appear. However, he noticed a lack of reaction to it with the only sign of emotion being the fear radiating off of you as you shut your eyes from anticipation. He then thought that you must have a high pain tolerance, however even if you had that you would’ve noticed the slight pain to which he tried to try it again but unfortunately for him it didn’t work.

+ There was some silence between you and xeno before he spoke up, very confused yet slightly irritated, thinking you're trying to make fun of him “why aren’t you screaming?” He asked as you opened your eyes confused on what he was talking about “huh…what do you mean?” That was the only thing you were able to say “don’t play dumb [USER]!” He raised his voice getting angered at your lack of awareness “I am literally damaging your body and you're not reacting” you still had a look of confusion before looking down to see the wounds “oh you did?” Your response only confused yet angered the hedgehog more “what kind of response is that?” You stayed silent for a moment as you saw your tormentor getting angrier before you decided to speak up about how you couldn’t feel pain.

- Now that Xeno has met you I have a feeling he’s going to have a lot of pride over you. He’s never had a victim like you and although he may treat you like a test dummy trying everything and anything to know what can break you, at the same time he treats you like your some rare item that everyone is trying to get their hands on. He’s not going to let any other mortal take you away from him. He found you fair and square and if they have a problem with it then too bad for them. Oddly enough despite his murderous thing he’s really protective of you. Not in a way that he cares about you. As I said he’s a murderous thing his whole thing is to torture and murder anyone he pleases but if anyone but him dares try to do the same to you he’ll murder them no doubt about that and he’ll make it as painful as he could. You're his most prized possession, he’s the only one that’s allowed to do anything to you. No matter how many times you or someone else denies it.

———————————

[kaluxsims]

My Pride post this week is about facial hair...and then some. Beards, mustaches, sideburns, etc are generally associated with men and masculinity, but that's a fairly surface view. Almost everyone has some amount of hair on their face. We're mammals. Being fuzzy is kinda our thing. Hormonal levels and genetics can make that hair thicker or darker on anyone. Today's post takes @simstralia's unisex facial hair and expands on it, giving your sims a broader variety of fuzz for their faces. Like last week, I have more to say after the download.

First, I took the non-meshed beards from @krabbysims' Poppet V2 recolors of @withlovefromsimtown's Beardly set and enabled them for UF as well as UM. Now ALL sims teen and older can use them. Then, I made a few lighter, wispier edits too. They were made especially for sims just beginning transition, just starting puberty, or getting a bit fuzzier as they age. You can see a WIP preview of some of them here.

I wanted to have Body Shop previews for this, but work has been a little more involved than usual this week. The timing didn't work out. I'll try to add them in when I can.

Instead, here's a list of what's included:

NEW - stubble stache

NEW - very very wispy stache

NEW - very wispy chin patches

NEW - very wispy stache

NEW - very wispy stache + patch

goatee chin - "afro" texture

goatee chin - "straight" texture

goatee chin + sideburns - afro

goatee chin + sideburns - straight

sideburns - afro

sideburns - straight

goatee - straight

wispy chin

wispy chin + sideburns

wispy goatee

wispy goatee + sideburns

wispy lip patch

wispy lip patch + sideburns

wispy beard

wispy sideburns

wispy stache + lip patch

wispy stache + lip patch + sideburns

Phew. What a list! Everything is for all sims teen and older (UU), in Poppet colors, and binned properly. You can see previews of the previously existing stuff in Krabby's post. Keep in mind, I only did the ones that don't require meshes. I'm not that confident meshing anything other than clothes and now is not the time to try anything new. Maybe I'll do the meshed beards eventually. Dunno.

Download: SFS or MediaFire

Credits: @withlovefromsimtown for the beards themselves, @krabbysims for the Poppet recolors, @poppet-sims for the Poppet V2 palette, @simstralia for inspiring this in the first place, and @quartta for inspiring the very wispy edits (and for giving me permission to convert something that just didn't work out)

And now for my additional thoughts...

The "bearded lady" used to be a sideshow act, something to be gawked at, and I don't think we've come far enough from that. Women and AFAB people having facial hair is still something many people feel comfortable mocking. That can cause a lot of misery for cisgender women who have more facial hair than they'd like, and it can endanger the lives of trans people who have facial hair, wanted or not. Bigots always feel threatened by people who defy the status quo, and they're empowered when it's not seen as socially acceptable for women and AFAB people to have facial hair.

This isn't just a trans issue, of course. PCOS and other medical conditions can cause darker, thicker facial hair. So can genetics. So can old age. Some shave it off, some accept it, some love it. Frida Kahlo made hers part of her unforgettable and undeniably feminine image.

I really wish I could grow a beard or mustache. Not enough to take testosterone, because I don't really want the other changes that would cause. I deeply envy bearded femmes, because that's my ideal. I want to "do both", and defy the binary. I could probably buy something to glue on, but my skin is sensitive to the point of panic. Simply existing gives me a rash. I also know there are people who might kill me for breaking stupid cultural rules like that. I want to be a gender rebel and look like I imagine myself, but I also don't want my loved ones to suffer if bigots harmed me. I'm in a strange limbo, not really closeted, but also not really feeling able to be myself. I know plenty of nonbinary people share this limbo with me.

I drew a really basic mustache on before going to a drag show last week, but it melted. 😂 I wound up wiping it off on the way to the bar, and not bothering to draw it back on. The drag show, which would be illegal in some other states in the US, was so much fun. It was all drag kings, trans masc, or nonbinary performers. As dark as things are right now, events like that give me a bit of hope. Seeing other people gleefully breaking gender norms was something I needed more than I realized.

Again, my hope is that someday we can all just be ourselves and no one will feel like they have the power to punish others for not being what they see as normal. That's the dream, everyone being safe to be themselves.

[opheliashur]

its before 10am and i got maybe five hours of sleep so im porting my unhinged worm take here to keep it from being lost in the discord sauce [i dont actually think this is a sensible interpretation it just forced itself out of my brain one day]

The entities in Worm can function as a counterpoint to Posadist views on alien life. In Les Soucoupes Volantes, le processus de la matiere et de l'energie, la science et le socialisme, Posadas argues interstellar travel requires a society which, if not explicitly human-defined communist, surpassed self-centered capitalist systems. Posadas implores us to view their passivity in our plight not as apathy, but an enlightened belief in self-determination; With the people's assent, these strangers among us would surely be willing to help us crawl out of the muck of poverty and despair.

In Worm, the entities take this logic and turn it on its head. Zion's ancestor remembers their homeworld as peak survival-of-the-fittest excess, a hellish loop of boom and bust cycles which leaves less left to consume every time.

"The ancestor knows this, and it isn’t satisfied.  It knows its kin aren’t satisfied either.  They are quiet, because there is nothing to say.  They are trapped by their nature, by the need to subsist.  They are rendered feral, made to be sly and petty and cruel by circumstance.  They are made base, lowly."

Through a leftist lens, this becomes a mirror for the circumstances of modern society. People are forced to scrounge and suffer and harm each other for survival's sake, ligating their emotional capacity and cauterising their descendants' livelihoods. The ancestor responds in a capitalist fashion; Rather than call on cooperation and efficiency, it proposes to its fellows that the advancement of a species depends on the necessity of constant growth and constant conflict. The conclusion they reach is to, quite literally, eat each other alive; Not simply to live, but to find new frontiers, obliterating their homeworld in the process. I find this neatly matches up with how capitalism naturally leads itself to colonialism (not to imply imperialism is solely the domain of capitalism) as the rich and powerful grow ever hungrier for new toys to hoard, new people to enslave, leaving nothing in their wake.

If the entities simply went around acting like generic alien invaders (which is 99% of the time just white people persecution fantasies and you cant prove me wrong) afterward, this interpretation wouldn't exist. Posadas wasn't concerned about the possibility of alien invasion for the same reason nobody worries about car bombs, unless they're Margaret Thatcher or a sex symbol in a Wildbow sequel. It just isn't relevant.

However, the entities aren't just machines of consumption. Their modus operandi, at least with Eden and Zion, is far more subversive. They upend the status quo with powers, or innovations, often placed in a way to cause the most possible disruption and thus the most possible conflict, or profit, with an end goal seemingly to ensure they can eat and reproduce forever no matter the cost. The destruction they wreak seems to be almost tangential to their main goals, borne not of cruelty but of apathy.

This is in direct counter to Posadas' perception of extraterrestrial life as benevolent. Despite granting great power to the oppressed, they're not a clarion call of ascendance, but instead harbingers of the end. In essence, the entities represent a form of bad-faith leftism— They take advantage of existing injustice with cloying language (their avatars) and grand yet poisoned gestures (powers), with a move-fast-and-break-things mindset utilising their generational wealth (also powers) from eons of exploitation to avoid consequence.

Unfortunately, this interpretation doesn't end with Posadas.

I found myself realising as I wrote this that the entities aren't just representative of bad-faith actors in leftism. In another sense, they are the revolution as perceived in many online circles. A nebulous rapture-like event, upending the status quo by giving power to the marginalised and downtrodden, creating people who are not only possessed of the agency to change things, but a resolve to do so as well. Agency is suddenly given to those who'd otherwise be trapped in their own cycles, subject to hunger and rent and all the little things that the complacent at the top have long since forgotten happens to other people.

And it only results in more suffering. (at this point im talking more conceptually than what happens in worm but bear with me im almost done lmfao)

Parahumans finally have the ability to speak the right things and be heard, to hurt the right people, and it doesn't help solve anything. It's all just senseless violence directed outward.

The ending, then, takes a different note from Posadas, and from the paradigm of finding the right people to kill or the right things to say. Taylor kills Zion not through sheer power, but through communication and cooperation— By forcing him to look inward, at the one void that no amount of conflict and data and profit could fill ever again. There was no magic bullet, no force from outside to save the day. Only the emotions that everyone carries within them.

A revolution from the inside. (okay that was abrupt but my brain is fried now lmao hope you enjoyed it bye)

[itsclydebitches]

Okay so, just to recap:

Ruby drives away Little, which works. That's a classic "I hate myself and am being cruel in order to supposedly protect you, but you'll still follow me out of love anyway" situation.

Neo's semblance has evolved to the point where she can keep multiple, independent copies going at once, all of which have a different veneer, as well as a whole-ass mansion for them to play in. Sure! Why not! We're well past the point of power scaling jumping the shark.

All these copies can talk. I don't care if this is some Ever After magic, Neo is mute! Let her be mute!!

The story straight up forgot what information Neo has. Does she know anything about Ruby and Penny's friendship? Is she aware that Clover died out in the snow? Is mind-reading a part of her semblance now too?

How come everyone else hasn't gotten insane semblance power ups? Jaune must feel so cheated after spending a whole lifetime here...

Ruby defends herself against this horrific onslaught despite JUST being unable to fight against more garden-variety baddies. Is she having a crippling aversion to Crescent Rose or not?

Ruby is physically and psychologically tortured which, while compelling, means that every criticism we're shown is easily dismissed. The question of whether Ruby has caused more harm than good isn't really something to grapple with, it's a horrific lie told by the villain that Ruby needs to be rescued from. It's the Caterpillar situation on steroids and the extreme nature of the scenario just makes the viewer uncomfortable (understandably!), rather than allowing space to acknowledge, "The dead allies she's at times had a hand in getting killed have a point about Ruby's consequence-laden failures."

This includes images of the adults in her life - notably adults that the show has demonized - beating her to a bloody pulp to the point where we're shown rare injuries. Great! Love watching my discourse-laden faves choking a teen against the wall and beating her with a cane /s

This culminates in Ruby slicing "Oscar" in half, the kid who previously underwent torture too. This guy just can't catch a break.

Also love the implication that seeing Oscar cut in half is psychologically damaging, but if the copy had stayed as Ozpin it would have been fine. Or at least far less impactful. Why would Ruby care about her old headmaster who remains a current ally in this fight? Seeing HIM dead, even if it's a fake currently attacking her, just doesn't mean much emotionally.

Little is dead. I mean, they'll probably resurrect them somehow, or reveal that they were just badly injured, but Neo was grinding her heel. The tiny mouse should be a goner.

Yang is pissed at her little sister for having a breakdown after she spent the last two days flirting with her girlfriend instead of acknowledging the horrors they've all been through. Sibling of the year.

Then all of them just STAND THERE while Ruby, injured and lying on the ground, surrounded by enemies, sloooooooowly drinks the clearly messed-up tea. Hey, at least the sisters are even now? Ruby just stood there while Yang fell and Yang just stood there while Ruby killed herself. Great job, girls.

Oh yeah, hey, RT? It's called "themes of suicide," not just "distressing themes." Kudos for having our protagonist make a huge mistake that's FRAMED as a mistake and should have an interesting impact on the story... but warn appropriately for it, yeah?

Why does Neo want Ruby to be remade via the tree instead of just killing her? Idk idk.

Then she immediately goes comatose because apparently killing Ruby was the only thing keeping her going. There's no interest in ruling the Ever After. No temptation to spend all her time with this fake Roman that can, apparently, hold independent conversations with her and generally act like the real Roman did. Like, tell me this isn't a Neo falling hard into her fantasy, content to have "Roman" again in this magical world:

No desire either to go get revenge on Cinder for dropping her here in the first place. Neo is just done now that Ruby has fallen into a root-covered void. 10/10 great character depth.

Love the insanely evil Cat but... what's is their actual goal? Something about curiosity, something about being left by their creators, something about needing a host, something about broken hearts?? This would all be far more compelling to me if I had a better handle on what exactly they wanted.

Preview of next episode: Yang, Weiss, and Blake are totally fine with Ruby's choice. I mean, why wouldn't they be? It's not death! The Paper Pleasers promised! It's her right to go to the tree if that's what she wants and you need to rethink your narrow perspective if you're going to be upset about that choice. This is a totally fine outcome and they can just go find this new, definitely improved Ruby to take back to Remnant. No reason to be sad about it. Right, Jaune? :)))

Oh, and there's only two episodes left to do [gestures] everything.

[itzgruvia]

Gruvia fanfiction: hurt/comfort, sad and a little bit of fluff by the end.

Warning: mention of self-harm, depression, anxiety, bullying, and blood.

Original posted in AO3

____________________________________________

Juvia was never one to indulge herself into someone's personal business, unless she was asked for.

She was private herself, and she never wanted to ask for help or advice concerning her anxiety disorder, even if she deeply wanted to seek their comfort, but this isn't about Juvia.

it was about her only lover, her sweet man, and compassionate boyfriend.

Through out their intimacy and romantic relationship-which was still developing- they always tried to share their problems, their insecurities, it has been difficult for both, especially for a person like Gray, always wearing a ghost-like shield to separate his friends from his life.

Juvia could say the same thing about herself, mostly because she doesn't want to bother people.

But they went through this, they discussed about it and how they'll try to lean on each other when it gets too hard, and so far they have been showing a little bit of vulnerability.

At least that's what Juvia thought.

It was a late afternoon, Juvia was finally done with her classes and ready to join her friends in the FT salon room, and end the evening with a nap, she can feel a headache coming to upturn her night.

She wanted to take the stairs rather than the elevator, to get her legs pumping after sitting in the hard wooden chairs in her class, it makes her legs numb and uncomfortable, And once she was about to take the next stairs, she heard murmuring, two people were conversing in hushed tones. it didn't take her too long to realize who thery were.

Gray and Erza, of course no one can miss her orotund voice.

Juvia knows they were having a private conversation, something she shouldn't be listening to, but she couldn't budge from her crouching position ( how did she get to crouch in the first place?).

She wasn't jealous, she is very much confident about that, because she knows better than be jealous of Erza, and despite her overriding imagination and her traumatic past that deprived her from having any trust towards her new friends, she believed that Erza is better than a cheating friend. moreover, she wouldn't do this to Jellal, or Gray or to her.

But Juvia had a feeling that this might be something she had to hear, even if she'll feel guilty after it.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Erza asked, rarely does Juvia get to hear worry laced in her voice.

"Yeah" Gray replied, although it took him a brief moment to do so. Matter of fact, she noticed how tired he got in the last few days, but she didn't worry too much about it, she assumed it might be university loads of assignments.

"You know you can talk to me about anything" she assured the boy, a weird sense of worrisome began to crawl over Juvia; why is she pushing him to speak up? must there be some history that Gray didn't bother to mention to her?

"I am alright Erza... trust me" he responded.

there was quietness for a moment, Juvia urged to take a little peak from where she is hiding but she doesn't want to risk being founded, it will cause problems and Gray might even be disgusted and break up with her and all her friends will find her weird and leave her alone like before-

her exaggerated overthinking stopped abruptly when she heard the rustling of fabrics.

she carefully leaned to see that Erza was rubbing his arm in comfort. It was all peculiar to her.... well maybe not new but unusual, especially to Gray, she isn't that affectionate compared to Natsu and Lucy.

Well, if Juvia were to be general, the Red haired woman was never this gentle with anyone but she has her motherly moments.

so this was very surprising for Juvia, and it made the worrying pit in her stomach stronger.

"If ... you have the idea of doin-"

" I am not going to do it" he retorted, in a rather sharp manner, he sighed after a moment.

"I swear it's nothing like that... I'm just tired" he added, less bothered than before.

"Alright... let me know when you need me, okay?" gripping his shoulder gently, Juvia could see the nod of her boyfriend; he agreed.

once they started to move, Juvia panicked for a second, if they do find her here she'll throw a bunch of stuttering words thus making her look like an idiot and ending her perfect romance.

but instead, they both agreed to take the elevator down to the common room ( which made her remember to go there as soon as she undress from her outfit), fortunately for her, she doesn't have to stand in an awkward anxiety inducing situation.

Once she heard their voices disappearing and the sound of the elevator, she slowly left her hiding place and ran upstairs to her dorm floor, all while her brain is racking through what she had heard.

Gray is hiding something from her and he doesn't want to tell her. That's one thing she is confident about.

But what she doesn't know is the content, what he is going through, is it bigger problem than she can imagine? She has never seen Erza that worried and particulary towards Gray.

it says a lot.

the loud chattering of her friends didn't distract her from her circling thoughts about Gray, he was sitting next her, their knees touching while arguing with Lucy about whatever topic that Juvia didn't bother to listen to.

She doesn't know if she should ask him about it, she feels like she might be pushing him into a corner and making him pour out his stress out and that's not something Gray is found of, she knew that by experience and she doesn't want to make the same mistake.

However, she is scared, what if ... it's a huge thing that concerns his life? She knows that Gray tasted that empty sense of life once when he was young, he told her that and Juvia cried by the end which made Gray nervous.

And what if Gray isn't happy? what if he doesn't want to ... go on anymore? she can't always trust his pretty smile, she can't be reassured by that even if she knows him by the back of her hand.

"Juvia?" her beloved's sexy! voice called out to her, while nudging her knee with his slightly. She snapped out of her haze, and looked at him.

he didn't look all worried but the usual frown on his face slightly changed, something that meant that he was observing her silent demeanor.

once she immediately set her eyes on his beautiful handsome face, she fought against the overthinking of hers. Gray would do that no more, not after what he told her; the fact that she was here with him and breathing with him was enough for him to continue living (his words not hers).

so maybe Juvia is overthinking it.

"what are you thinking about?" , he asked.

she blinked, feeling nervous after she got caught dazing in front of her friends, although she couldn't see Lucy in her spot anymore.

"it's nothing, just some assignments to do" she chuckled to hide the nervousness from her voice, but she knows that she failed just by forcing that small laugh from her lips.

Gray kept looking at her, an invitation to vent about whatever is eating her up, but Juvia doesn't know how she can bring forth a subject that concerns him, plus how can she tell him that she was eavesdropping into a private conversation?

.... it's not like she followed them, it was a coincidence.

However, if she stores this worry to herself, it will haunt her tonight, and she has an assignment test tomorrow, she can't afford to go without sleep in her system (not like she never done that before).

Maybe stating it at first won't make it a problem.

"well... I heard something today" she began, fiddling with her fingers in her lap.

Gray leaned on his arms, his elbows on top of his knees, she felt a little bit comfortable talking with the fond gaze that he is wearing in his face.

"I accidentally heard you and Erza talk about something today, in the staircase.." she told him, not daring to look at his eyes.

"Juvia didn't mean to first of all, but based on the conversation, Juvia is feeling a little bit worried about you..."

she finally glanced at him and she felt the anxiety pile up in her stomach.

Gray's face was... conflicting, like he was scared but he is masking it with anger.

" you were eavesdropping? what the hell Juvia-"

"Juvia wasn't! I was taking the stairs!"

"you never take the stairs!"

"i do when I want to walk!" Juvia never wanted to raise her voice at her beloved, but the way he is taking the conversation was ... nerving, as if he is accusing her of discovering a secret door that holds his deepest scars.

he got up from the coach, ready to leave the conversation, running away from it.

"My love, Juvia was just asking!" Juvia tried to follow after him.

"don't ask questions I won't answer Juvia!" he looked back, harsh expression covering the fear in his eyes.

Juvia gathered a moment to breath in, she doesn't want her anger to control her emotion, but it made her feel so unfair, it was so unfair that she got to share her deepest scars, her trauma, her fear, her joy, her sadness.

and he offered her everything, so why is he pushing her away?

" what is it that you are hiding from me?" she asked quietly.

" I don't need to tell you"

"that's so unfair!" she yelled, her fists clenched from her sides, and she finally blurted it out, in she failed on keep her emotions controlled.

she can see her friends coming through the entrance door, concerned over the raised voices. It is actually way more concerning when it's the rarest couples who fight.

Gray looked taken back by Juvia's tone. She rarely does that to anyone, but if she did it towards him, it indicates that there's something bigger.

"i always reach out to you, even when I am afraid" she continued, she felt her face heat up like a furnace.

" so what are you afraid of?"

the question triggered something in Gray. She can see his usual frown vanish from his face, and for a moment she saw him scared, as if she caught a glimpse over his past self.

but Gray clenched his jaw and turned around to leave, Cana and Lucy didn't try to reach out to him, they just let him leave with their mouth agape from what they've witnessed.

Juvia felt the frustration hitting her at once, clenching her hair tightly, she can sense the painful clutch.

she fell back into the couch, huffing in disappointment.

It turns out asking him was a problem.

Gray is hating himself, no matter how much he blasts the music into his ears, it couldn't block the loud noises in his head.

he admits that this was the worst fight he ever had with Juvia, everything was sudden to him, like a slap to his face, Juvia never yelled at him with anger, actually, she never yelled at anyone before.

but it's his fault anyways, he was defensive because he was a coward, who didn't want to show his scars to her. how could he? Juvia was a gentle soul although she always tries to deny it with her past "Shameful acts" of whatever, but everyone has their own piece of tainted wrongdoings.

Gray doesn't care if she killed someone before, she is still that blinding sunlight that engulfs his cold chest with warmth.

and he is afraid that if he pulls up his sweater and shows what he did to his wrists will make her see him in a different way, whether with disgust, fear, or pity.

he had seen those people before. he met them, and he was friends with them before they stripped him from his secret self-harming and pulled down their masks to reveal their true colors.

pity, disgust, fear...

if only Erza hadn't stopped him in the staircase, if only she wasn't so frightened-

Gray sighed, he pulled his headphones away from his ears.

no he thought, here's no one else to blame but me.

come to think of it, Erza had the right to ask him about his wellbeing, he kind of found it hard to keep on the same damned routine of university, and on top of that the unnecessary load of assignments he has to do, it makes him anxious just the thought of them.

but it doesn't matter now, he had another problem to fix...

Gray was never a fan of communication, and after today? he can sure label himself as the worst at communication, he shouldn't have yelled at her, he shouldn't have looked at her that way, she deserves better.

maybe if he could just end it.

"when you face a problem with someone you love, you harvest your self-hater and think that people deserve much better than you do, and then you end everything."

she heard him coming closer to her place, where she is swinging her legs from the rooftop. She would have been terrified if there wasn't another rooftop built right under it, so the fear of breaking a leg or two from a fall is impossible to happen.

she felt a heavy weight over her body, warmth embraced her as she slowly tugged the coat with her fingers, although she wasn't feeling the cold.

she saw from the corner of her eye,Gray shifting his position over the railing of the roof, leaving his legs dangling similarly as hers. she didn't have the courage to look at his face again, which made her frustrated to death, because the silence hanging between them was driving her mad.

should she say something? should she start by apologizing? she could if the heavy lump didn't pressure her from forming words.

"I'm sorry", she heard him say, oh so softly that made her heart hammer with speed.

why should he apologize when she started this whole mess? she opened her lips to argue against who's fault it was, but he beat her into it, " I didn't mean to yell at you"

Juvia finally turned her head to look at him, he was avoiding her eyes and instead looking blowing them, his black messy hair was moved by the wind of the season, and it made him look so ethereal.

she shook her head instead and looked below them as well. She noticed a small creature-probably a squirell- settling himself in one of the tree branches, enjoying his treat.

"Juvia is the one who is sorry, I shouldn't have listened to your conversation.."

" I could have just explained what you heard instead", this time their eyes locked at each other, she feels the heavy awkward air began to shift away alongside the wind.

she would be lying if she said that she wasn't curious about their conversation because she knows that if they don't discuss it right now she will be left with a sleepless night, yet she doesn't want to push him into pouring down his scars if he doesn't want to.

"Juvia doesn't want to pressure you-"

"I want to."

he interrupted her, and Juvia doesn't have a choice but to listen and give in into her curiosity impulse.

Gray took a breath, and Juvia felt the nervousness seeping from him, so she hesitantly offered her hand towards him, she doesn't know if he is comfortable about it or not, so an offering is better than a bold move, like she usually does.

He looked surprisingly at her hand and smiled slightly, grabbing her hand while interlocking their fingers together, "you usually just hold it, why are you being polite?" he said, pointing out the fact that she is impolite when it comes to showing her affection towards him.

Juvia snort:" for now I'll be polite "

she grasped his hand for reassurance, and smiled at him.

"well.." he began, "since you know that I didn't enjoy my life in Korea, and that I had to work a lot and study everyday like some slave, and why my mental health was dropping all the way down" , he stopped for a moment, breathing in through his nose, and exhaling; and Juvia waited patiently, she could even wait for ages she won't mind.

"I used something so I won't try and kill myself"

Juvia's worrying pit started expanding, making her whole body tense with the thoughts running over her head about her beloved hurting himself.

" I used to self-harm."

the blue-haired girl remembers the feeling of being absorbed by fear, how her whole body freezes whenever she encounters a crowd, how the fright will make her shiver non-stop and her mind draws blank. She is familiar with this.

but she never felt fear choking her being like right now.

self-harm.

just the thought of seeing her lover sinking those sharp razors to his wrist so he wouldn't try suicide as an option, she felt like crying.

Gray broke the eye contact between each other, realizing how much of a shock that might have been to her, she can sense how tightly he is holding her hand right now, as if she would run away from him any moment.

"i am sorry" he apologized, he looked dejected, and Juvia could maybe see a glimpse of his old self.

but why is he apologizing? does he think that she'll run away out of disgust from what he suffered? does he think that Juvia would leave him because he had other means to keep himself from dying?

"Do you think that Juvia will leave you?" Gray didn't glance at her, so she grabbed his chin with her hand, turning his head to look at his grey eyes, they were red, ready to brim with tears. "This isn't your fault, and ju via wouldn't even think of leaving your side after opening up to me."

she can feel the tone of her voice quiver, but she held it because her sweet lover man is the one who has the right to tear about it, not her, no matter how much she wants to.

"you are very brave my love." she said softly, cradling his cheek, which were cold under her hand. she knows that he won't believe it, not now at least, it might need time for him to realize how courageous and strong he is, she is aware that he went through this all alone.

"i am not going to leave you alone, Juvia promises on her life."

the lid broke and everything in it scattered out.

Gray cried silently, and Juvia brought his head into her chest, to cradle him from all the pain and the danger of the world, she can sense her own tears ready to fall like a rain shower.

they held each other tightly under the glimmer of the stars and the dark sky, while the whistles of the wind gave them a bittersweet shiver, but all they could feel was each other's warmth.

Gray wants to not give in into his self-blame tendency, and while it's hard, opening up to Juvia made him feel that something clicked, like a puzzle joining to fill a whole picture.

Juvia completes him.

and so they cried, their fingers still locked together and the time passed not knowing for how long they were in each other's embrace. and nobody broke their heartfelt moment.

[schizosupport]

one time during a psychotic episode I was convinced I had did / was part of a system. I experienced what I perceived as switches and such. when I started getting better I realized that wasn't what was happening. it was very real to me while it was happening though and im just wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. I feel bad because I dont wanna be one of those people who fakes did, but thats really not what I was doing, and I dont know how to put it in a context that doesn't make me feel bad about it. sometimes I miss who I thought of as alters at the time but I suppose were really just. delusional headspaces.

Hey there!!

Ok so I think it's important to add the context to my answer, that I have a different approach to/understanding of these questions than both many people in the respective communities, as well as many professionals. Nevertheless, since I'm not writing a research paper, but rather, providing a personal take on the question, I hope that you will bear with me!

So in my somewhat radical opinion, it doesn't much matter whether you experienced what you did because of DID or because of a delusion caused by psychisis.

Alters, as well as delusions, are products of the mind. It doesn't mean that delusions don't FEEL real, it doesn't mean that alters don't truly experience themselves as separate entities, but it IS worth keeping in mind that one of these experiences is not inherently more "valid" than the other.

Delusions are often of a negative, harmful nature, while alters are often a helpful coping tool, but that is FAR from being a universal rule.

I used to think I had something like OSDD, then a psych convinced me the 'others' were delusions of control (and as a result for a while I suppose they were), but today we just kind of co-exist somewhere on the border between psychosis, identity compartmentalization, ipseity disturbance, dissociation, method acting as coping and general identity confusion..

After years of wading through the professional and community discourse, on my own personal journey with the topic, this is what I think:

It seems to me that the discourse surrounding the acceptable causes of identity dissociation and amnesia in DID/OSDD, has ended up with a situation where DID identity compartmentalization is seen as the only "real" aka "valid" experience of identity fragmentation.

It would appear that this debate, which to me seems largely to be a matter of categorization and definition, has been warped to the point where people like you end up feeling bad for having been "faking DID" while in fact you have done no such thing, and furthermore having your legitimate grief at the loss of people/alters YOU experienced as real, be invalidated and belittled (by yourself, if not others).

Anon, I'm sorry for your loss. Jesus fuck, I'm sorry. Who cares what the others "really were" or "why they're gone"... You experienced them as people in your life, people you had relationships with, people you could rely on - ofc it hurts to lose them.

Of course you are grieving.

"Just delusional headspaces" is such a telling turn of phrase, and it breaks my heart. It really does.

So often we psychotic people are expected to be "over it" the moment we are not actively delusional. As if we don't get traumatized when we think we are going to be killed. As if we don't grief the relationship we built completely in our head, when it turns out not to be 'real'?

Identity.. personality.. headspaces.. they are no more real or no more fake dependent on their underlying cause..

I understand why the dissociative community are protective of their alters, I understand the need to say "this is not psychosis! These experiences are real!" ... I truly do, and I don't think it's a meaningless distinction, either.

But it's setting up a false dichotomy. Because the truth is that ultimately both delusions and alters are a thing the brain does. It's not THE SAME THING, but they are similar in the way that they are experienced internally as very real.

And I think that accepting the existence of alters as "real and valid" is important, but I don't think it should (or needs to) come at the expense of people who experience delusions, (or identity compartmentalization for any other reason).

In my experience, identity compartmentalization, that isn't coming out as scary delusions of control, is usually among the healthier coping mechanisms, delusional or not.

And creating a culture where having DID/OSDD is the only acceptable "valid" version æ variety of this type of experience is really not helpful for anyone. For one thing, it means that people with these types of experiences will be extremely prone to assume that they must have DID, potentially to the point of delusion, potentially to the point of making themselves more ill (developing amnesia, inducing memories etc) - and when it turns out they DON'T have DID, they will be terrified that they were "faking", when in fact they were just acting according to their current best understanding of themselves..

Not to mention, they will feel the obligation to bury any hint of identity compartmentalization within themselves, to conform to a social world that insists these experiences are "problematic" by virtue of being "not real", somehow.

.....ok I think I went off on a whole ass rant...

Was this helpful at all, anon?

[anotherhumaninthisworld]

Danton breaking up fights between Robespierre and his soon-to-be ex-boyfriends compilation

The surveillance Committee launched an arrest warrant against Minister Roland; it was the 4th (September), and the massacres were still going on. Danton was informed of it, he came to town hall, he was with Robespierre; […] I (Pétion) had an explanation with Robespierre, it was very lively. I tell him: “Robespierre, you are doing a lot of harm; your denunciations, your alarms, your hatreds, your suspicions, they agitate the people; explain yourself; do you have any facts? Do you have any proof? I fight with you; I only love the truth; I only want freedom.”

”You allow yourself to be surrounded, you allow yourself to be warned, he replied; you are disposed against me; you see my enemies everyday; you see Brissot and his party.”

”You are mistaken, Robespierre; no one is more on guard than I against prejudices, and judges with more coolness, men and things. You’re right, I see Brissot, however rarely, but you don’t know him, and I know him since his childhood. I have seen him in those moments when the soul shows itself entirely; where one abandons oneself unreservedly to friendship, to confidence: I know his disinterestedness; I know his principles, I proclaim to you that they are pure; those who make him a party leader have not the faintest idea of ​​his character; he has enlightenment and knowledge; but he has neither the reserve, nor the dissimulation, nor those lively forms, nor that spirit of consistency which constitutes a leader of a party, and what will surprise you is that, far from leading others, he is very easy to abuse.”

Robespierre insisted, but confined himself to generalities.

”Allow us to explain ourselves,” I told him, ”tell me frankly what is in your heart, what you know.”

”Well!” he replied, ”I believe that Brissot is at Brunswick.”

”What mistake is yours,” I exclaimed! ”it is truly madness; this is how your imagination leads you astray: wouldn't Brunswick be the first to cut his head off? Brissot is not mad enough to doubt it: which of us can seriously capitulate! which of us does not risk his life! Let us banish unjust mistrust.”

Danton became entangled in the colloquy, saying that this was not the time for arguments; that it was necessary to have all these explanations after the expulsion of the enemies; that this decisive object alone should occupy all good citizens.  Discours de Jérôme Pétion sur l’accusation intentée contre Maximilien Robespierre (November 5 1792)

Robespierre: Camille's writings are to be condemned, no doubt; but nevertheless it is necessary to distinguish the person from his works. I consent freedom to treat Desmoulins like a spoiled child who had happy dispositions, and who has been led astray by bad company. His head sometimes wanders, but his talents are precious. But we must demand of him that he prove his repentance for all his thoughtlessness, by quitting those companies which have ruined him. We must crack down on his acts that Brissot himself would not have dared to admit, and keep Desmoulms in our midst. All these truths are not flattering for an author: but if the vanity of Camille Desmoulins is offended by them, he considers that he has attracted a small admonition sufficient to correct it. When he sees that he has deserved still more severe reproaches, he will feel the necessity of rallying to principles, and removing from himself all causes of an error that we are willing to forgive him for. Let him examine that his writings are the pain of patriots and the joy of aristocrats, and he will be grateful to us to see that it is only for him that we can forget them. I end by asking that his numbers be treated like the aristocrats who buy them, with the contempt that profanity deserves. I propose to the Society to burn them in the middle of the room (There is applause several times; Robespierre's speech was interrupted by applause and bursts of laughter).  Desmoulins: That's very well said, Robespierre, but I'll answer you like Rousseau: "To burn is not to answer."  Robespierre: How dare you still want to justify works that delight the aristocracy? Learn, Camille, that if you were not Camille, one could not have so much indulgence for you. The way you want to justify yourself proves to me that you have bad intentions. To burn is not to answer! But can this quotation of the sublime philosopher of Geneva find its application here? WelI, I retract my last motion; I ask that Camille's numbers not be burned, but that they be answered. Since he wants to, let him be covered with ignominy, let the Society not restrain its indignation, since he persists in supporting his diatribes and his dangerous principles. The man who clings so strongly to perfidious writings is perhaps more than misguided; if he had been in good faith, if he had written in the simplicity of his heart, he would not have dared longer to support works proscribed by patriots and sought after by all the counter-revolutionaries of France. His courage is only borrowed, he detects the hidden men under whose dictation he wrote his diary; he detects in Desmoulins the organ of a villainous faction which has borrowed his pen to distill its poison with more audacity and certainty. Desmoulins, who sees himself blamed by the patriots, finds himself compensated by the adulations of the aristocrats he frequents, and by the caresses of many false patriots, under which he does not perceive the perfidious intention of ruining him. You must know what he said in response to those who blamed his writings: Do you know that I sold 50 000 copies! I would not have said these truths if Desmoulins had not been so obstinate, but the point of order has become necessary. I therefore ask that the numbers of Camille Desmoulins be read from the rostrum: if there are individuals who defend his principles, they will be listened to, but there will be patriots to answer them.  Desmoulins: But Robespierre, I don’t understand you. How can you say only aristocrats read my paper? The Convention, the Mountain, are they composed of aristocrats? You denounce me here, but was I not at your house? Didn’t I read you my numbers, asking you, in the name of friendship, for your advice, and to trace the path that I had to take?  Robespierre: You didn’t show me all your numbers, I only saw one or two. To avoid quarrel I didn’t want to read the others, it would be said that I dictated them.  Danton: Camille mustn’t be frightened by the rather severe lessons Robespierre’s friendship has just given him. Citizens, let justice and cold-headedness always preside over our decisions. In judging Camille, be careful to not strike a deadly blow against the liberty of the press.  [A secretary reads number 4 of Vieux Cordelier, which excites reclamations, the reading is at several times interrupted by marks of improbation. The club, at the proposal of Robespierre, decides that it will hear the reading of Camille’s third and fifth number tomorrow, where he will justify himself.]  The Jacobin Club January 7 1794

[jadenight67]

This is literally for one person so. Strap in?

While watching the season premier of The Winchesters I was struck by a reoccurring thought:

God this is going to hurt when it ends

I mean how can it not? John and Mary are so young and the spark is there. Mary is full of such anger and hurt, longing for more than the hunter life. And John is a haunted man, desperately trying to find a greater good to fight for after being devastated by war. You can see the threads of who they are here and how their talents and flaws will snowball into the tragedy that their lives become. And that's not even mentioning Carlos and Latika; two vibrant characters who are conspicuously absent from the family history Sam and Dean know.

Some might ask, what's the point in telling a story if you know how it ends? Why rehash the history for a man who ultimately abused his kids and went against the wishes of the woman he loved. Why torment us with the tragedy of a woman who never was able to escape the generational trauma she was stuck in, and who was unable to prevent her children from suffering the same fate?

Because to know how it ends, and still sing it again. As if it might turn out this time. I learned that from a friend of mine.

Hadestown is hands down one of my favourite musicals ever written. It bends genre and breaks the fourth wall to provide a story rich in meaning and heart. When Hermes sings "It's a sad song, it's a sad tale, it's a tragedy" in the opening number, we know from the beginning exactly what story is being told. It is an old song, a sad song, a love song.

Over the course of the musical you watch as Orpheus and Eurydice make choices that pull them apart; Eurydice's need for more for security driving her into the arms of Hades and Orpheus' inability to see the world as it is revenge him from seeing the real problems they faced. And when it comes down to it, after all the struggling and triumph, after helping the gods dance again, doubt still creeps. And Orpheus looks.

And yet, in the final numbers, we see the stage reset, the story preparing to tell itself again. A literal representation in telling a story for the story's sake mirrored in the play being performed night after night. As if it might turn out this time. And so it goes, again and again being told as a reminder and a warning and for the sake of the story itself.

Thankfully, in our case Dean is no Orpheus, always doomed to turn and look. Here he is Hermes, the story teller, the one guiding us through a story we think we know. The Winchesters, much like the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, has merit even if it may not appear relevant on the surface. While I doubt any of us will be forced to sing before the Lord of the Underworld, we will have to find the strength to push through an impossible situation. And while we may not be fighting demons and ghosts in our day to day lives, many of us have complicated relationships with family and must learn how to see them as more than just the harm they caused us, perhaps not forgiving but understanding for our own healing and growth. The Winchesters provides a unique opportunity for a character to take back the narrative and tell their story how THEY want, their voice guiding us forward.

There are other far better written meta on what exactly may be happening in The Winchesters, where exactly this story is going. For my part, all I can say is I look forward to seeing what story Dean would like to tell us, what old song he wants to sing for us again and again and again.

[bumblebeerror]

I’m sorry, I know this is beating a dead horse but I HAVE to break down this anon.

For context: This anon was sent to me, and similar ones were sent to @maybe0rdinary [if you want to be untagged lemme know] because we both expressed nondisordered (in this context, meaning: symptoms that do not negatively or significantly effect our quality of life at this current moment) symptoms that are associated with psychosis. In my case, I have ongoing hallucinations of common repetitive noises, such as doors closing or opening, footsteps, doorbells, phone buzzes/text tones, phones ringing or hanging up, dogs barking, people talking, etc. These hallucinations happen almost daily, but because they are easy to check and only startle me occasionally, I’m both used to them and don’t really have an issue with them. I don’t know why they happen, and honestly I don’t particularly care to find out unless it becomes more bothersome.

So, let’s break it down, shall we?

I don’t know what “fucking disgraces to the medical community” is supposed to mean, if I’m honest. I’ve heard of transmeds? Maybe it’s something similar but either way. I don’t really care that much tbh. The medical system has a long and sordid history with mental health and I don’t really seek their approval whatsoever.

Whilst I absolutely can HAHA FUNNY 🤪 my way out of whatever I want because I am awesome and cool,

I in no way said that faking a mental illness is okay. However, I will say that fakeclaiming random people online based on your understanding of a book of diagnostic criteria meant to be used by doctors is absolutely far more harmful to mentally ill people as a whole than someone pretending to be mentally ill for clout.

L.A. and I are in no way effecting doctor’s opinions of psychosis in any meaningful way. I assure you that just like homophobes, doctors in general who already have low opinions of psychotic disorders and the people who have them will not be further swayed.

Ah yes, I forgot I cannot have Symptoms until I am designated my Disorder by the doctor.

Delusions can and do happen in disorders besides psychosis. In fact, there’s a whole disorder called Delusional Disorder. They can present in Bipolar Disorder and even Major Depression, dementia, and that’s not even mentioning various schizophrenic disorders…

Visual Hallucinations can also be caused by various schizophrenic disorders, bipolar disorder, dementia, and also PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Parkinson’s, migraine…

Auditory Hallucinations can be caused by the above and also by insomnia, narcolepsy…

Point being, psychosis is not the only disorder or condition that causes delusions or hallucinations.

“OBVIOUSLY you would have had to have gotten them treated” presumes a lot about the cost in both time and money of getting those things diagnosed. It presumes a lot about someone’s resources. It presumes a lot about how much literally anyone at a job or in the medical field cares about someone who is struggling, even if said struggle is obvious.

“Literally wouldn’t be able to hold down a job” presumes that anyone with psychosis or a disorder that can cause hallucinations or delusions is helpless, useless, or otherwise incapable by default of acceptable or masking behavior, mental fortitude, or any other ability really.

Which is incredibly ableist to assume off the bat about such a wide and varied spectrum of disorders and such a large number of individuals.

“Shut the fuck up and let people with actual psychosis speak” is presumptuous at best. I won’t say anything more.

I do not have psychosis - and I have never claimed to. I don’t presume to speak for everyone who’s ever had an auditory hallucination the same way L.A. talking about a delusion from years ago isn’t presuming to speak for anyone but them and their own experience, and I feel that was obvious from the way they phrased their experience.

Disorders are disorders only if they negatively effect your quality of life. If you were to have clinical depression, and you learned coping techniques to combat it effectively to the point that it doesn’t impact your day to day life, your brain has not stopped having a predisposition to not having enough serotonin receptors. Your brain has not magically been made neurotypical. But, provided that your coping mechanisms adequately negate the symptoms that negatively impact your life, you could be considered no longer disordered.

The same is true with any symptom or condition that could be categorized as a disorder - if it doesn’t impact your quality of life… it’s not a disorder. It is a requirement when it comes to shit like this that the thing be hurting you. If it doesn’t hurt you, like my auditory hallucinations don’t hurt me, it’s not a disorder.

Speaking about a symptom of a possible disorder does not equal stolen valor or speaking over others with that disorder, and using it as such feels very much like a silencing tactic. I hope you think carefully about doing this in the future.

All in all, I think maybe you need to spend more time researching and speaking with other mentally ill people in general.

I think you are probably pretty young and pretty new to discourse in general, and that’s okay. The benefit of the doubt is a powerful tool, and I hope when it comes to these things you use it more, because your passion is admirable.

I’m glad you were on anon - it means I can pull this ask apart now that I’m done clowning on it and explain why I clowned it without fear of you getting personally hurt.

I think this is an opportunity to learn, and I hope you take it. I think that this is something you care deeply about, and I hope you continue to do so and aren’t doing so only for internet points. I hope you can take a moment to listen to new voices, and try new perspectives. They have important and helpful insight to offer.

[the-fiction-witch]

River

Media Nanny Mcphee Age Up

Character Simon Brown

Couple Simon X Reader

Rating Sweet

Concept Escaped Pig

I woke to the roasters call and forced myself out of bed immediately stepping into my trousers and pulling them up, I grabbed a shirt from my dresser buttoning it as I headed downstairs snapping my suspenders on my shoulders as I reached the portch, I grabbed my waistcoat as it was far too hot for a jacket and slipped my boots on heading out the family house to work on the animals and land around us. I worked hard in the dawn light making sure to sort the Fields, the animals, all the little jobs that I alone had to do. It never use to be this hard, then again as a kid I was always goofing off from Doing it. Perk I suppose of being one in seven kids, couldn't keep track of all of us. It's times like this that remind me of just what a little shit I was then. But that was a good while ago now, my father moved off to the coast with Evangeline a few years back, and my siblings had all grown up and gone off with partners and jobs of their own. Leaving just me at the old place but I don't mind. I like it here if anyone is going to stay, happy it's me. I went about my usually business for the rest of the day attending to the many matters just now loading up my cart for the afternoon market in town when I heard a loud crash and the tumbling of wooden decking, immediately I heard the sounds of squealing and a wave of distribution to the other animals.

"Oh god damn it! Not again' I sighed dropping the last crate of eggs into the cart and bolting back past the house immediately I saw the pig pen had been broken open sending the pigs all running squealing around the farm knocking things over, breaking things and just generally causing trouble so I had little choice but to run around grabbing them from the mud to take them back to the spare pen making sure I counted as I did but I was missing one an important one I looked all over for him trying to find where he could have scampered too when I heard a woman scream. So I grabbed some rope and ran as fast as I could to the small path that runs along the river to the back of the house, it was a public path so I had our small fence between us but I very quickly saw the problem, the large muddy sporty pig Oswald running down the road after a young lady in a teal dress on a bicycle.

"Oh shit" I sighed jumping the fence and running after them both as Oswald bit her wheels and her legs trying to grab at her until he literally knocked her off her bike sending her with a scream into the river. I quickly grabbed oswald and tied him to the tree before I quickly went into the river after the poor lady, she wasn't far in sat in the mud her hat fallen down her head. "Terribly sorry about that. He has a terrible habbit of breaking out and making a run for the river" I told her offering my hand as she fixed her hat she did take my hand slowly letting me help her up

"It's alright, accidents happen. Not the first time I've come off and into the river" she giggled as I helped her out 

"He didn't hurt you did he?"

"No no, it's alright. He just wanted to play"

"I feel terrible about all this, could I pay for your bikes repairs at the least"

"It's alright really no harm done" she says picking up her bike "oh dear. Uhhh could perhaps I trouble you for a ride to town?"

"Of course no trouble at all, miss?"

"Y/n y/l/n"

"Pleasure to meet you miss y/l/n, Simon brown" I smiled giving her hand a little kiss 

"Lovely to meet you Mr brown even if the rougher circumstances" she giggled

"Absolutely, if I may" I smirked offering my hand which she happily took…