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kithtaehyung · 4 years ago

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Last November (M)

title: last november (m) post date: december 14th, 2020, 8pm est ⤷ revamped/extended: march 27th, 2021, 10pm est pairing: seokjin x reader(f) genre: angst, smut, exes to lovers au summary: you two broke up on good terms. even seeing each other on your friends’ yearly end-of-november trip was never awkward. so why did this trip feel so different? and why does it feel like the end of something that wasn’t even there in the first place? warnings: angst, bad puns and jokes, mutual pining, light dom/sub undertones, oral sex (m/f receiving), nipple play, hair-pulling, choking, rough sex, unprotected sex (pls be responsible!), dirty talk, spanking, creampie, seokjin is a consent king, did i say angst?, did i also say bad puns and jokes? mobile users: alt link if this doesn’t open in tumblr ➛ AO3 word count: 23.7k 24.7k !!

On the last Friday of every November, your group of friends piled into two cars and set off into the mountains.

Ever since you all graduated from high school years ago, everyone branched off into their individual, intricate walks of life. Different towns, different jobs, different social circles.

But before those grand adventures started, each of you promised one thing: a yearly trip to keep the friendship alive.

This time around, you happened to be in the “decidedly more fun” car as Jimin, Taehyung, and your longtime friend Rin jammed the backseat with singing and road trip games. Since Seokjin took driver, you claimed navigator, leaving the front of the vehicle a bit muted compared to the other half. Which was fine - you always loved relaxing on the sidelines while your friends played with chaos and hilarity.

Namjoon kept you company from time to time, too, so you weren’t completely alone in your preferred space.

The only thing that could’ve made the ride awkward was if you and Seokjin were on bad terms.

It wasn’t every day you found yourself sitting beside your ex, after all.

But that simple fact didn’t phase you. The truth was that your breakup was clean and painless - a massive relief to your friends. Back then, it would have torn everyone to pieces picking sides.

The split was so organic that you couldn’t recall an awful reason why it happened. Separation proved as natural as the changing of seasons: you had moved away for university and he powered through his own medical pursuits. Over time, the relationship simmered to a text every few days, resulting in the night in which you decided that it was better to remain friends.

What sucked was the fact that, over the course of time after the breakup, you fell for Seokjin. Annoying, charming, incredible Seokjin.

You didn’t come to terms with it until last November, when you watched his eyes sparkle under an indigo ocean of stars and it just clicked. Agony carved into your heart some nights when you thought about nothing else, but you couldn’t admit your feelings. Not when you two decided that your river had run its course. You couldn’t risk smothering the last embers of your relationship, so radio silence remained your lonely swan song.

Of course you wanted to admit it. You wanted to tell him. Because no matter who came after, they all fell short. Every smile flashed your way, every pair of arms wrapped around your torso, every night spent between the sheets. Nothing compared to what you got from Jin. That man created a hole in your heart that lingered in his wake, a hole through which all of your subsequent relationships plummeted.

The truth was simple: you didn’t want to ruin what you had. Even if what you two would always be was just friends, that endgame was enough for you.

At least, that’s what you told yourself. Every night when you couldn’t sleep, and every morning when you woke up to an empty bed.

Your vision snapped into focus as your phone screen bloomed. The maps app signaled for a turn, so you relayed the direction to Seokjin, who repeated the direction out loud before following through.

Just like always.

The road in front of you melted into a different scene entirely as you recalled why he started that habit. It sprouted from one of your car rides to a diner situated on the other side of your hometown.

During the drive, you did your best as navigator, but your boyfriend was so into the music playing that he missed some turns. One errant right later had you both terribly lost, the surrounding area swallowing the car in darkness. On instinct, you dove into defense mode, trying and failing not to outright panic.

“My maps won’t load,” you stuttered, hitting the screen with your finger, “Shit, shit, shit.”

“Don’t worry, I can just—”

“Don’t tell me not to worry,” you bit out. “Let’s just get out of here.” You hated how pure paranoia pricked at the corners of your eyes. Getting lost was completely irksome and going back home was more appealing to you than moving forward with the date.

“Okay. I won’t,” Seokjin assured you, turning the wheel and rolling the car out from the shadowy street. “How can I help instead?”

“Oh, umm.” With grateful eyes, you stared at your boyfriend and admired his consideration. You’ve never been asked that while upset before. “You could, uh, repeat the directions before following them? That might help.”

His lips curved into a smile, and streetlights flooded the car to bathe his sincerity in a warm glow. “Repeat directions, you got it.”

The memory faded as you blinked and observed the endless mountain range enveloping the road. Snow topped the summits in white caps; coniferous trees swallowed the steep slopes. As if reminiscence clogged your ears, the music in the car seemed louder outside your broken reverie.

Taehyung, as always, took charge of the aux. He usually had an eclectic mix of tunes on rotation but, that time, nothing but upbeat Christmas music was queued. You had to admit: merry music coating the car windows and mountainous scenery claiming your entire vision put you in the best mood.

It was even better when Seokjin sang along. You really did like his singing voice.

“I like my singing voice, too.”

Your eyes snapped toward the driver, expression freezing over as you drank in his delight. Did you really say that out loud? You knew Seokjin enough to know that he was never going to let that go.

“Yeah, well…” You lazily swatted his grin away. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Seokjin chuckled, his hands comfortably resting on the wheel. “Are you offering to do that for me? It’s minimum wage, but I’d hire you.”

Rolling your eyes felt like the only appropriate response, so you did exactly that, your exasperated gaze looping around to land on your phone. “Relish this moment, Seokjin,” you advised, zooming out in the maps app to make sure you were still heading in the right direction, “Because it won’t happen again. And take the next exit. We’re almost there.”

“Yes, yes, next exit.” You missed the smirk on his face as he scanned the roadside for the telltale sign. “Moment relished,” he quipped, “But I prefer my moments with ketchup and mustard.”

Your groan drowned in his boisterous laughter, but the hand on your face betrayed you since it couldn’t quite cover up the glee that formed right after.

An hour later, everyone had unloaded the vehicles at the campgrounds and pitched the tents. While Hoseok and Jungkook worked on starting the fire pit, Namjoon and Jimin took their time organizing the food and snacks. Rin had disappeared with Taehyung somewhere, but Yoongi said he spotted them taking pictures a ways off.

“They should be helping,” he muttered. “There’s a lot to do before it gets dark out.”

Squatting down to rotate sizzling meat on your portable grill, you waved him off. “They’re shot-swapping since it’s golden hour.”

The silence that followed gave you pause. When you looked up in curiosity, Seokjin and Yoongi regarded you like a foreign language coated your tongue, their struggle to decipher it earning a chuckle of pity.

“They’re both huge influencers, so they know how to take pictures. They always do this when we get together,” you explained, spinning the kebab onto another side, “And golden hour is around sunrise and sunset. It looks like everything is soaked in gold, and it makes your pictures look pretty. But that’s an old term already! You geezers should keep up.”

Yoongi simply raised an eyebrow and kneeled to turn his designated stick. Smoke from the charred meat wafted into your noses as he declined, “I’ll pass. That sounds stressful.”

A rapid clapping of tongs next to your ear preceded Seokjin’s offer, “What are we waiting for? Let’s golden hour swap!”

Why did he have to be so endearing? A cough escaped your throat, disjointed laughs following right after in their awkward escape. Beside you, Yoongi flung condescension Jin’s way, his voice stocked with disappointment as he warned, “Don’t speak. You age yourself.”

You transferred your kebabs to a foiled plate before standing, blood rushing to your lower legs. Seokjin was unleashing a hearty tirade at the other man grilling when you intervened, “That sounds nice, actually. I’m in a photography class so I was planning on taking some photos anyways. Lemme just get my camera.”

As you walked away, you couldn’t escape the abrupt change in atmosphere hovering over the grills, its looming tension caressing the back of your coat in a slight push. The words exchanged were soft in volume, but their possible meanings stayed clanging in your ears.

“Did you tell her yet?”

“No.”

“Do it. She deserves to know.”

You slipped out of your tent with a heavy jacket and lightheadedness. Medicine would’ve helped with the latter, but the med kit Seokjin packed remained strictly for emergencies. Besides, you couldn’t quite slap a bandage on what was truly bothering you anyways.

As you inspected your class-registered Polaroid, you continued to wonder what Yoongi meant earlier.

What was he implying? You deserved to know what? You couldn’t say the feeling swirling around your gut was a positive one. After all, there was a distinct difference in what a person should know, and what a person deserved to know. What was so important that Yoongi practically ordered Seokjin to spill?

Was there another person in his life now? That was one thing that crossed your mind, but you filed that under the “should know” category, even though it twisted your stomach to think about.

The news had to be something urgent.

Was Seokjin getting married?

Without your permission, vessels in your heart shriveled, squeezing life from your already battered soul. A betrothal was entirely possible with his pursuit of a medical degree and coming from a well-to-do family. Maybe he was in an arrangement?

That possibility dropped an anvil on your chest. You couldn’t say that you were completely fine were that the truth. How could you be fine with something like that if you loved him? Of course, you would be happy if he was, but your heart would require recuperation for an extended amount of time. Give or take a few years.

You wandered so far into the depths of your mind that Seokjin’s sudden appearance kicked you back to shore, a yelp leaving your mouth at the same time your Polaroid left your hands. If the camera wasn’t hanging from your neck, you would’ve been in deep shit with your professor as soon as it hit the cold soil.

Its bulky frame definitely bruised your lower chest on the downswing, though. “Ow. Geez, Jinnie, you can’t just sneak up on people like that.”

Your eyes widened in realization. Jinnie? Shit, you hadn’t called him that since you guys were dating. Quite obviously, the stockpile of thoughts and worries involving his secret were blocking your brain from better judgment.

And apparently you weren’t the only one affected by that nickname because Seokjin’s eyebrows shot into his dark locks, his peculiar glance shifting away. Odd.

After an awkward second, he cleared his throat. “Does it hurt?”

Is it supposed to? You knew he was inquiring about your injury but your thoughts drifted to what hadn’t been divulged yet. “No, it’s fine,” you lied. “Let’s pick a spot before we lose the light.”

You don’t remember how long you walked, but the pair of you ended up far from the original campsite.

In your defense, it wasn’t like you planned that outcome. The trees matched at every turn, so you kept wandering until you found a good clearing - or at least some rocks to break the forested monotony.

A foil to your pickiness, Seokjin voiced his thoughts every ten paces, his votes of confidence constantly crushed by your boots. If you had a cent for every time he declared a spot “the one,” you could actually afford the Polaroid dangling from your neck.

It was at a calm clearing with some patches from last snowfall where you decided to settle.

Unhooking the strap from your neck, you ushered, “Let’s do this quick. It’s almost over.”

“I wanna do it first!” You thought Seokjin meant to take the camera from you, but instead he scuttled into the clearing, striking a pose once he reached its center. Of course the fool meant that he wanted his pictures taken and not the other way around. How was any other idea plausible? “Hurry up, you said!”

“The ‘S’ in Seokjin stands for ‘Selfish,’” you yelled, positioning the Polaroid against your eye regardless. His face enlarged in the lens and, to his credit, you couldn’t argue that he was the clear model between you two. The man could pursue a career in fashion instead of medicine and you wouldn’t bat an eye.

He looked handsome merely standing there, cheeks dimpling at nothing in particular and his charm ever effortless. Even the slight bags under his eyes didn’t take away from his natural beauty.

Par for the course with Seokjin. That unbothered self-assurance was one of the traits you liked and hated about him.

At least, initially. The more you got to know him, your outlook on that defining characteristic was one of admiration, not hatred. You simply needed to start shoving some of that confidence down your own throat like a different type of vitamin C.

After a telltale camera snap, the man threw out his coated arms in another pose. “And the ‘Seok’ stands for ‘Seok in my presence!’”

“I think I’ve been in it long enough. My fingers are pruny,” you droned while lowering your Polaroid, ignoring his wiggling in the background. It seemed you were still accustomed to his ridiculousness.

Yet another thing you gave him credit for: he was never afraid to be a dork. When you first met him, you admittedly thought he was faking it. Over time, you recognized his authenticity, and you grew fond of everything wrapped in the gift that was Kim Seokjin.

You waited for the picture to materialize in your hand. When your impatient model approached you and asked why you weren’t shaking the polaroid, you informed him that you should, in fact, not do that. “It’ll damage the final product!”

“So that song is…”

“Wrong. Yes.”

Pure shock flashed across his face. “What other lies have I been told?”

The captured memory started blossoming, and you watched as the color bled into life. “That you aren’t the funniest person on the planet,” you answered, earning a scoff.

“In that case, you’ve just been misinformed.” Seokjin huffed before offering an outstretched palm. “Now hand over the camera, it’s your turn.”

“Me?” You didn’t think he was serious when he said swap. In reality, you just assumed he whipped up an excuse for you to take pictures of him.

And you didn’t mind. It was nice to have that charming smile directed at you, even if only through the lens of a camera. The Polaroid would be your shield, blocking Seokjin from the pain swimming in your eyes, barely afloat in pools of regret and guilt and loneliness.

“Yes, woman! When was the last time you had your picture taken?”

Slowly, embarrassment swelled across your cheeks when you realized it had been a very long time. Legitimately long. You never asked others to take your picture; rather, you were always the one behind the lens. The last time someone actually offered was…

“When you took one,” you stuttered out breathily, “At that park.”

It was during one of the last dates you two went on before you left for university. There was a carnival you were dying to visit, and Seokjin surprised you with tickets and a kiss.

You remember being so elated while traversing through the whimsical booths, failing fantastically at the rigged games, scarfing down sticky, billowy cotton candy. Squeaky horns and childish laughter filled your ears, and you could still feel Jin’s gentle fingers on your hand as he shyly tugged you under glowing stringed lights.

The main attraction was a carousel keeping everything else in orbit, its charisma shining like a golden, spinning sun. When night fell, you too gravitated toward its charm, standing behind its barricade to watch horses and teacups endlessly turn.

It was so captivating that you forgot yourself and where you were - who you were supposed to be spending time with. Swiveling in fear, you scanned the bustling crowd for your boyfriend, realizing that you needn’t worry at all.

Seokjin simply waited behind you, holding up his phone and telling you to pose. You were so caught off-guard in that moment that your face contorted hilariously right as he snapped the photo. In his eyes, it was the greatest picture of all time.

However, it wasn’t that well received by its subject. You begged Seokjin to delete it, and he finally caved on the grounds that you took a replacement. Conceding, you stomped back to the gate guarding the twirling attraction and pranked your boyfriend with a blank expression.

But as soon as Seokjin drawled “You look like you don’t care-ousel,” you burst into laughter - your unabashed mirth becoming his background on every device he owned.

The scene faded from your eyes as the current Seokjin stood in front of you, gripping the Polaroid instead of his phone. Gone were the lights and sounds of the theme park and, with them, your fleeting moment of solace.

“Oh,” was all he stated in return, and you swore the temperature chose to drop in that moment just to mock you.

“You know I don’t prefer it anyways.” Your heart was losing its grip, sorrow evident in your shaky tone. You folded your arms to shield your body from the weather and unwanted emotions. “I’m definitely not as photogenic as you.”

“Nonsense,” Seokjin shot back. “Now hurry up, it’s only golden minute now!”

And just like that, his warmth melted any awkwardness like spring chasing away winter.

In retrospect, he probably regarded that moment at the carnival differently, or he just wanted to keep those memories in the past where they belonged. It hurt to be the only one so strongly affected by them, but Jin had the right idea. If there existed a standard list of activities to do with an ex, talking about the past wasn’t one of the options. Especially if you had feelings for said ex.

Plus, you didn’t forget that there was something he had to tell you. It seemed like you were going to have to wait a little longer for that, and your anxiousness wasn’t pleased.

As you ambled to the center of the clearing, you focused more on the crunching sounds your boots made rather than your feelings. With a quick survey of the area, you surmised that it really was a pretty spot, the mountain range peeking behind the trees adding depth to the setting. Adjusting your outfit, you took a breath of courage before staring at the eye of the Polaroid.

Seokjin moved the camera from his face and called your name, roping your gaze to his concern. “Smile, okay?”

On instinct, your throat constricted. You couldn’t hide behind the lens that time. But smile you did, and you hoped Seokjin thought it genuine, silently pleading him to not notice the anguish lingering behind your crescent eyes.

The fire pit your friends constructed blazed bright as you both made it back to the campgrounds. Everyone occupied the surrounding logs and, judging from the soft pop pumping from a portable speaker, Jungkook must have commandeered music control.

Jimin turned when he heard your footsteps, his expression indiscernible as he shifted his gaze between you and Jin. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything, only turning back to Yoongi to continue their conversation.

Seokjin and you parted ways effortlessly: he slotted into the empty space next to Namjoon and you headed to your tent to stow your camera.

And for some reason, that easy departure was hard to swallow.

Your pitched space offered warmth upon entry, and you dumped yourself onto your sleeping bag without a word. A few quiet moments passed before you unzipped your backpack, the tiny action feeling so tedious, so difficult to achieve.

After you finally stored your equipment and closed your bag shut, you just… sat there. Contemplative.

Mentally, you were in a bad place. Your thoughts and emotions banged into each other, their war rendering you powerless - captive. Fidgeting with the plasticky fabric of your sleeping bag, you thought back to what happened after you two left the photo spot.

It was an uneventful walk back for the most part. The polaroids turned out nice, all thanks to the very rare and very expensive camera you borrowed. Seokjin claimed yours and handed you his, and faced with your sudden curiosity, he sheepishly offered, “You don’t have to keep it.”

You were more questioning of the fact that he stored yours in his jacket, but you didn’t want to broach that subject. It was beginning to scare you. Maybe it was the fact that he was acting strange, coupled with the other fact that he was hiding something from you.

Why were you suddenly afraid to confront him? You two were open with each other during your relationship. Were you also wanting to put this dreaded conversation off as long as possible, too?

If he was with someone else, though, would he still be keeping your picture?

It was too much to think about, so you tried to lock everything in a box and sit on it.

You saw the light of the campfire after a few minutes of walking through the woods - a handful of silent, crawling minutes. It was bugging you that Seokjin didn’t say anything on the way back. A quiet Jin was a Jin knee deep in thought, and not in good circumstance. In a moment of weakness, you almost offered out your hand to grab his, but you instead crammed it inside your coat pocket.

When you both rejoined your friends, it seemed so easy for you guys to separate, like you didn’t just go off and do something so intimate. Even though that wasn’t the word you wanted to use.

You resigned yourself to the big picture nonetheless: it wasn’t like what Taehyung and Rin did. Your best friend was insanely popular on social media with her carefully curated feed and relatable-yet-unachievable style. Taehyung had his own massive following for different reasons, and you couldn’t deny that he knew exactly what he was doing to gain the hearts of many. They were snapping photos for each other to show millions of anonymous beings across the world.

You and Seokjin just took photos for each other to have. No one else was going to see those.

Why did you feel like that was significant?

The edge of your sleeping bag began to fray under duress, so you plucked your body off the ground and slipped back outside. What you expected was the temperature dipping a couple degrees in nightfall. What you didn’t expect was Jimin waiting for you, puffy jacket and all, leaning against a tree.

When he saw you emerge from your tent, he straightened and regarded you with caution. “Everything okay?”

You adjusted the front of your coat before fishing a beanie out to cover your ears. “Yeah, why?”

“You were just in there for awhile,” Jimin explained, his eyes searching yours, “And you were with him for a long time.”

“I don’t like being interrogated, Park,” you sighed.

“I know, I just…” He mirrored you and huffed his own breath toward the ground. A quick glance had you noticing that his own beanie was knit as thick as the fog in your mind. “I just want to make sure.”

Jimin was whom you considered closest next to your best friend and formerly Seokjin. After your break up, Jimin regularly sent you texts to check on you, despite your constant assurance that you were okay. It got to a point where you phoned him and pleaded reprieve - to reach out only if he had something critical to say.

His broken reply? He only texted you because Seokjin wouldn’t.

You ended up crying after that call, and the tears annoyingly persisted a couple nights following.

He was also one of the only two people in the world that knew you loved Jin. Rin was the other, and that’s only because you let it slip during a girls’ night over cheap wine and period piece movies. Something about an early morning confession in a dewy meadow was enough to loosen your alcohol-mottled tongue.

After you ran your fingers over your head, you responded, “Can I ask you something?”

Your friend’s eyes roamed over your face. “Of course.”

“What’s he hiding from me?”

Jimin instantly clammed up at the question. His dancer frame assumed a rigid position, each limb locking, including his jaw. “It’s not my place to say,” he answered gravely, pulling anger from your center.

“Does everyone else know this secret except me?” You really couldn’t take it anymore, especially knowing that something you supposedly deserved to know was possibly public knowledge.

“Just the guys,” Jimin divulged, and you scoffed.

“I can’t believe this.” You made to walk away, in the opposite direction of the campfire. Into the woods again.

Jimin said your name like he just wanted you to understand already, halting you mid-stride. “I’ve been trying to get him to talk to you. Trust me, I have.”

“He’s a grown man, Park. His decisions aren’t your problem,” you whispered.

“But aren’t they yours?”

“Not anymore. We aren’t together right now, if you don’t recall.” You knew you were spitting bullshit, and Jimin did, too. If Seokjin wasn’t giving you problems, you wouldn’t have been hiding in your tent or literally and figuratively walking away from him. Guiltily, you turned back to face Jimin and give him his credit.

He was this way for everyone in your group: the glue that hung on and fought to keep people from breaking apart. Whenever a fight broke out between warring parties, Jimin was the middle man. Always.

Sighing, you relented, “I’m sorry I’m taking this out on you. I’m just so confused, and the longer he hides whatever he’s hiding from me, the more restless I’ll be.”

“Everyone is on your side in this,” Jimin replied. “He just needs to, I don’t know, woman up.”

A breath of laughter escaped you at the tweaked phrase, the tension coating your shoulders slowly sliding off in clumps. “Did you say ‘woman up?’”

“Men aren’t shit,” your friend explained, pointing a gloved finger to punctuate every syllable. “At least women get things done.”

“I would totally drink to that if I had a bottle in my hand, Jimin.”

“Ah, well that can be arranged!” The boy’s eyes crinkled as he spun on a heel. “Let’s go. Jungkook and Taehyung brought out the drinks awhile ago. I missed out on a few bottles already talking to you.”

“Oh, I feel so remorseful,” you cooed, your voice worthy of giving kids cavities. “Almost as if I cared.”

“Ass,” Jimin snapped, but he could only laugh. When you joined his side, he turned and whispered, “But seriously. If he doesn’t talk about it by the end of this trip, I’m giving him hell.”

The temperature dropped again at that moment, and the wind blowing through the pines cut straight into your bones. Your shoulders hunched on instinct and you blinked to get needed moisture. Was it going to snow? The skies above did look intimidating. Was it going to storm?

A sudden trepidation settled into your gut. “Did we check the weather,” you queried, shuffling through your brain to see if you monitored it yourself before the trip.

“Uh-umm, I did,” Jimin answered through chattering teeth, “But I didn’t see anything other than it being cold.”

You pulled out your phone and regretted doing so, your fingers freezing over instantly. You were lucky you all chose a location that was still in signal range - really, thanks went to Rin and Taehyung for incessantly demanding it every year.

Pulling up the weather app after a few tries, you cursed at the oncoming forecast. “Well, there’s more to it. Snow’s coming in,” you relayed to Jimin. “Let’s pack up and find a place to stay.”

The car ride to the nearest lodging felt immensely different than the ride to the campgrounds. Some people focused on defrosting, one person worried about the people in the front, and the two said people in the front weren’t talking at all.

It was you that broke the silence when you steadily gave directions, and Seokjin would repeat them like always. Selfishly, you wanted the car ride to keep going just so you could hear his voice. He wasn’t saying anything otherwise, and there wasn’t music playing for him to absentmindedly sing along to.

The first snowfall was light as your caravan entered the small town nearby, which relieved you. Tiny snowflakes clung onto the windows and you lost yourself in their geometric patterns. Lights from the shops and other stray cars reflected in the slick roads to create a symphony of color, and white patches already settled on trees that lined the main way.

Seokjin spotted the lodge first, and he rolled into a spot towards the entrance, Jungkook’s car slotting into the next space. Your driver rolled down his window and repeatedly pointed his finger down to signal for Yoongi to follow suit. “Let’s go in and make sure they have our rooms first,” he called out, and Jungkook leaned over his console to shout a hearty okay.

You hoisted yourself out of the car and waited for the boys to follow. Seokjin went to stand next to you, but instead of Jungkook popping out of the other car, it was Namjoon that emerged. You could only guess that the youngest slyly started a game to have the loser get out.

Your stomach turned when you realized it was most likely because no one wanted to be left alone with you and Seokjin.

Remorse burned your throat. This trip was supposed to be fun, but it just felt strained. Were you overthinking? Or was your churning gut correct in its assumption?

At the very least, you hoped everyone else was having a better time than you were.

It seemed that the man beside you had the same feeling that a challenge was pitched. “Rock-paper-scissors? Or nose goes?”

Namjoon just laughed at the ground as his face flushed. “Nose goes, and I put my finger on my mouth so, umm, that’s that.”

You chuckled while you three made your way to the door, both of them towering over you on either side. Seokjin opened the entrance for everyone and, when you stepped foot inside, you were hit with a wave of warmth mixed with an undercurrent of gingerbread. The entirety of the main entrance bathed in plaid or embroidered throws, and there was an obvious affinity for Christmas on display with the plethora of garlands, lights, and a towering Christmas tree in the front bay window.

Namjoon and Seokjin quickly got distracted by the toy train running through a snowy village setup. Adorable, but not helpful.

Alone at the front desk, you received confirmation that your group had four bookings, and you thanked the concierge while you gathered the keys.

The rooms weren’t next to each other. One of them sat on another floor, and the rest were separated but shared the same level.

A container of pamphlets caught your attention, so you grabbed one before strolling away. “Guys, let’s claim our rooms. After that, you can watch the train all you want,” you called out, tapping them both on the back with the thin brochure.

They swiveled their heads to your retreating form before following you out the door.

“No. We are not doing that again.”

“Come on, hyung, it’ll be fun!”

“I’m with Yoongi on this one. We could all end up in the same room.”

“But what if you get a room to yourself?”

“Why can’t we ever just pick like normal people? And Hoseok-hyung, you laugh but you have the worst luck out of all of us.”

“Excuse me! That’s only because you all psyche me out!”

“Let’s just pick something. My phone’s almost dead.”

You stood next to Rin while you two watched the boys decide how room assignments were determined. It was a sight to see: them crowding the small hallway, bags littered around their bulky shoes. You both were thankful they were courteous enough to let you two keep a room to yourselves. They even made sure yours wasn’t on the other floor, just so that you girls wouldn’t be alone.

They were going to pick random rooms one-by-one, not knowing which options the others picked until they opened a door. If you and your friend also had to choose, you were risking the possibility of being stuck with Seokjin, which was the last thing you wanted.

On a day where your friendship was actually normal, that wouldn’t have mattered one bit. But right then? The tension surrounding him would have been detrimental.

He had something to say; he wasn’t saying it. You were a sitting, fidgeting duck.

Jungkook whipped his phone out to search the internet for a random coin flip generator. “Here. Heads, we do it. Tails, we don’t.”

Yoongi just snickered in defeat and already started picking up his bag. “I call picking first.”

His intuition proved sharp as the generator pulled up Heads: they were going with the random room assignments. Taehyung kicked his head back with a sigh, and Jimin and Jungkook burst into laughter while the elders collectively groaned.

As Rin giggled at their misfortune, you sent a rueful smile Seokjin’s way out of habit. You were still friends, after all, and he seemed so distraught over the prospect of horrid results. His eyes locked onto yours and, for a brief moment, he offered a shy grin in return.

The fluttering in your chest was quickly shooed away.

It was while everyone relaxed around a public lounge area that Jungkook hurled an accusation, his eyes alight with the flames licking the nearby fireplace. “Hyung cheated.”

Seokjin immediately sat up in his plush chair and retorted, “Take that back! I did nothing of the sort. You all were just too lazy to take the stairs to the next floor.”

Taehyung shot him a side eye and shared his own eloquent opinion. “Seems sus.”

A whole new wave of bickering erupted, and you redirected your attention to the snow storm blustering outside tall windows.

You were thanking every deity above that you guys decided to leave in time. It would’ve been hell in the campsite during this weather, or even while squeezed into the cars.

Though the original plans were derailed, you were pretty happy with the current lodging situation. Who knew a small town would have a humongous lodge? It had to be assumed that this was the main business keeping the town running. Rin was absolutely drinking it in and stated she even wanted to bring her family there, her thoughtfulness curving your mouth upwards.

Another good thing that came out of this trip proved to be the room assignments that Jungkook ended up loathing. They had you clutching your sides when all was said and done.

Four of the boys managed to pick the same room, and Hoseok and Yoongi snagged a room to themselves. These results resulted in one Kim Seokjin speeding up and down the hallway, wholeheartedly shouting with glee. Yoongi almost crumpled to the ground in relief at the end, and Hoseok fell over in laughter when he entered the full room. You could feel the desperation in Namjoon’s muffled voice as he begged Seokjin to let him change rooms. The only reply he received was an ominous “If you behave.”

“Don’t blame us,” Yoongi laughed out, both hands lightly gripping the arms of the rocking chair he chose. “This is what you young people get for trying to be cute.” His relief from only having to bunk with one other person left him chipper, you noticed. To his credit, it was amusing that the youngest four ended up in the same room.

“Okay, gramps,” Jungkook snapped, earning a laugh from Jimin on the seat next to him. “But she definitely gave hyung clues!”

You whipped your head around to shoot a confused look toward your accuser. “Me?”

Multiple eyes darted between you two like pinballs, and you didn’t have time to brace for his next words,

“You know you won’t see him again after this trip, so you—”

“—Kook!”

All oxygen abandoned you as Jimin rushed to shut the younger man’s mouth, practically slapping his face. Eyes popped out of his head as Jungkook paled in realization.

The rest of the boys bore glares into the youngest one’s countenance, but Seokjin turned directly towards you with concern.

What just happened? Your fingers gripped the varnished wood of your chair as you slowly locked eyes with your ex, and your heart dropped like a stone when he shifted his gaze to the floor.

What the fuck was happening? Your brain was going haywire. What did Jungkook mean? You wouldn’t see Seokjin after this trip? The man that you couldn’t wait to see on the last Friday of every November? That was bogus. He was joking. It was a joke, right? One more weekend before Seokjin was gone from your life forever? Impossible. Ludicrous.

Why wasn’t anyone saying anything?

Beside you, Rin clutched one of your tense fists in her soft palms. Addressing the group, her sharp tone demanded an answer when she asked, “What the hell is going on?”

The silence that followed was palpable. Not even the pleasant music drifting through the lodge was enough to damper the tension.

“I think,” Yoongi finally murmured, his words ice, “This is our cue to leave.”

“No need,” your friend snipped, “We’ll go.” She whispered your name before softly tugging you to vacate your seat.

When you pried yourself from the cushion, it took a moment for you to control your legs to actually move. You knew all the guys were watching you, but you were too embarrassed to acknowledge them, too upset to look any of them in the eye.

Rin led you away from the lounge, making sure you were heading toward the nearest staircase before spinning on her heel. “To the unfortunate soul that gets to explain this to me,” she bit, clutching everyone’s attention in her underlying threat, “Text me where to meet you in ten minutes.”

Both you and Rin occupied the carpet, backs against the cookie cutter sofa that existed in each room.

You two pushed the furniture around so that the couch faced the windows instead of the plain TV, and you surprised your friend by dumping yourself onto the ground instead of the cushions. Rin didn’t question you, though. She only followed suit.

The curtains were shoved to the side to reveal the relentless storm, and you watched the swirls and streaks of white until your head fell onto Rin’s shoulder.

“I should’ve been paying attention to you,” she murmured, “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, the motion feeling awkward in its tilt. “No, no. You’ve been having a fun time, so I’m happy I didn’t ruin that.” Your laugh was dry. “Until now, at least.”

Rin lowered her shoulder so that you rested more comfortably. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m going through a breakup again.”

Fuck. You didn’t realize until the words left your lips that it’s how you really felt.

It had been a few years since you guys ended things. Throughout that whole time, you didn’t feel awkward one bit.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. The “date” that Seokjin brought to the Christmas party last year made you want to tear your hair out. But, that was because she was obviously after his finances and that was the year you realized you loved him.

The conversation you had with Seokjin turned sour, but you really wanted him to see the big picture. You could still recall that night with clarity, the snow falling much lighter than what you currently witnessed outside.

“Seokjin, do you honestly think she likes you?” The red dress you wore was so vibrant that it glinted off the dinnerware spread across the decadent table nearby.

When you pulled your ex aside that night, the only quiet place you could find was the dining room, long abandoned once everyone got their seconds. Up until this point, it was obvious Seokjin wasn’t understanding you. You tried to tell him how you saw it, and he would just brush things aside.

“You sound like you care more than I do,” he accused, his eyes looking everywhere but your face.

Before you responded, you scoffed. “I’m your friend. Of course I’m going to care.”

You remember the strong emotions you suppressed that night. You couldn’t let more things slip than necessary. Yes, you could show him you cared. Yes, you could show him he needed someone else. Just as long as you didn’t give too much of your own feelings for him away. “You deserve someone that at least likes you, for you.”

Seokjin finally stared back at your stormy features, his eyes filled with something unsaid. You sucked in a breath. What else would he say? You liked him for everything he was, but that relationship didn’t pan out. Obviously. You would’ve been going to this Christmas party together if you still dated.

Maybe you shouldn’t have been having that conversation - it was already hard enough for you to say you were his friend. You wanted to be more than that. Again.

“I know she doesn’t like me,” he finally admitted, running a hand through his bangs. The urge to caress his ever soft strands filled you with grief.

You really did like his hair, and it looked even better when coupled with his Nutcracker-esque attire.

“Then why…” You struggled to find a reason why they were even there together. It was a Christmas party with your friends. Why would he bring someone that he didn’t like?

“She’s interested in Namjoon.” Seokjin’s eyes quickly turned into crescents when he witnessed your expression, and his full lips pursed to contain his laughter. “I was trying to get her off me the whole night, but she was trying harder than she needed to to make him jealous. I’m irresistible, you know.”

“Irritable is more like it,” you growled, playfully shoving him aside. “Ass! I was just trying to protect you and you knew this whole time!”

“It’s nice to know you’re looking out for me!” The man beamed as he made his way out of the dining room.

“Yeah, well,” you whispered, tensing slightly when he stopped. “They have to be perfect. It’s what you deserve.” And you really did mean that.

Seokjin’s smile faltered, and you shot him a half-smile before exiting the room yourself.

That was the last time you guys had an argument, if you could even call it that. The rest of the moments you had with him were completely fine. You wondered if Seokjin could see through you during that conversation. He was perceptive, sure, but you may have gotten away with looking like just a good friend.

It was just worrisome since you couldn’t control your emotions that night. You only got to see him in person during these November trips and Christmas parties when you went home, after all. Seeing him again after realizing you loved him ignited something within you, and it took the whole night to put that fire out.

This looming news just felt way too heavy to handle. Was it because you reached where the sidewalk ended? You weren’t going to see his face in person or hear his laugh out loud. There wasn’t going to be off-the-cuff, awful dad jokes thrown your way every end of November.

A nagging idea, far in the depths of your mind, kept tapping your shoulder. But you brushed it off with a scowl.

Even if you acknowledged the concept, there was no way Seokjin felt the same about you. Neither one of you said you loved each other throughout the time you were dating. Were there times you thought you did? Admittedly, yes. Did you ever think about telling him? Another yes. But he never hinted that he felt the same, so it would’ve been awkward for you if it turned out he didn’t. The absence of a confession kept you from revealing yours. So of course even now, you couldn’t tell him. Especially since he was apparently leaving.

Rin didn’t speak for awhile, but you knew she wasn’t the best at comforting people. She was number one at standing up for you and protecting you, but when it came to the softer parts of consoling, she did flounder. Which was endearing and calming in itself.

“How can I help,” she simply offered, and you nuzzled further into her neck. She always smelled so nice, your guardian Rin.

The adrenaline from Jungkook’s bombshell, your swift exit, and the constant stream of thoughts started to wane. Exhaustion slowly took its place like honey sliding into a jar. Softly, your eyelids drooped and you whispered, “This room is a castle, so be my big bad dragon and don’t let anyone in.”

The last sound you heard before falling asleep was a tinkling laugh followed by a small “As you wish, princess.”

When you regained consciousness, you discovered that you were strewn across one of the beds instead of the ground. You couldn’t even estimate how much time passed while you were out, but the storm outside was still thrashing and the only light in the room was the emergency one by the door.

You groggily propped up weary limbs in search of your phone, eventually swiping it from the nightstand. Still half-asleep, you barely registered the pain meds and glass of water sitting on that same table, their dark silhouettes waiting patiently.

Bright pixels mocked your drool-covered chin. Scrunching your face instinctively, you scrolled through your notifications while blinking sleep from your lashes. You received multiple texts, but you didn’t want to open the threads completely, so you opted to check them from the Home screen.

Jiminie [7:20pm]: Fuck, I’m sorry that happened. Please be okay. Love you.

Tae [7:21pm]: free hugs whenever you need. you know the drill.

Rin-Rin [7:36pm]: I know you said not to let anyone in but I literally couldn’t carry you to the bed. Forgive me!

Yoongi [7:37pm]: He’s in his room. I kept telling him to tell you. I know it’s shit to find out this way so if he doesn’t explain things to you, I will.

Hobi [7:39pm]: we’re here for u love!! let me know if u need anything. there’s a small concession stand downstairs so if u need smth i can run it up!!

Jiminie [7:40pm]: Kook is in bad shape. He swore he thought hyung told you already. Don’t worry tho. I’m not letting him off easy.

Rin-Rin [7:43pm]: Hey, love. Just spoke to Seokjin. I think you need to talk to him yourself, but only if you feel up for it.

Joonie [7:45pm]: I gave Rin a bottle of pain meds we had in our room

Joonie [7:45pm]: Go ahead and take some when you wake up

Joonie [7:45pm]: We can count this as an emergency

Jiminie [8:21pm]: Let me know if you’re okay, okay?

Kook [8:33pm]: I’m so sorry

Rin-Rin [8:48pm]: Grabbing us some snacks from downstairs, I’ll brb.

Your battered heart sank even more when you noticed a distinct absence amongst the names. Seokjin didn’t send you a single message.

What had gotten into him? Did he still not want to talk to you despite you knowing his secret? You clicked your phone shut without opening any of the messages and sunk into the pillows. It was 8:49pm, so you had barely missed Rin’s departure. Her exit was probably what woke you.

Unwittingly, you found your device in front of your baggy eyes again, berating yourself for hovering over Seokjin’s thread. The last text he sent stared back at you in a mocking set of pixels.

Kim JokeJin [Thursday, 9:23pm]: Let’s make this one the best one!

With the previous context, this was just a regular message about the yearly trip. With the right context, these words tied your throat in a knot.

You were sure you loved him, but what you were feeling now was even stronger. If you were honest with yourself, you would say that this is what yearning truly felt like, what something deeper than love felt like.

But you were a fool and a liar, so you convinced yourself it was only because you wouldn’t see him again.

As soon as you were about to give up and lock your phone, the thread updated with a new text from Seokjin, and you stilled.

Kim JokeJin [8:51pm]: You’re probably still asleep, so I don’t want to wake you.

You immediately clicked on his message, your anxiousness protected by the absence of Read receipts. The typing bubble kept popping in and out of the screen and, with bated breath, you waited to see if a second text slid into the thread. A hard exhale whooshed from your throat when the second message came through.

Kim JokeJin [8:53pm]: But I owe you an explanation so come up when you can.

Fingers locked your phone in an instant when the door creaked on its hinges. Rin entered with an armful of chips and various candy bars, and as you started to get up, she tutted.

“Sit down, lady.” Packages crinkled as she dumped them onto your covered legs in a processed, sweet and salty heap. “Did you take the medicine?”

You shook your head, very sure that you looked like a cranky Troll doll.

“Go ahead and eat something really quick so the medicine will work. When you’re awake enough…” Rin’s voice trailed off, but you filled in the blanks yourself. Go talk to him was what she wanted to say.

“Can’t you just tell me what he said?” You were hopeful that Rin would save you the pain of confronting Seokjin yourself. In reality, she denied your request.

“Not this time,” she murmured, “This is something that needs to come from him.”

You figured as much, but it didn’t hurt to try getting out of it. It was a conversation that you both wanted and dreaded to have. Under your goosebumps, your bones trembled.

If you were frightened by the mere gist of it, how were you going to react to the real thing?

The reality was that you needed the closure Seokjin was offering. You didn’t think this vacation - or your friendship, for that matter - could regain normalcy until you had this talk. “Sorry I ruined this trip,” you whispered, playing with a corner of the closest bag of chips.

“I’m sorry, is your name ‘Jungkook?’” Rin laughed. “I’m kidding. It’s not ruined. At the very least, it’s salvageable. Maybe.”

“You should be a weather girl with these confident forecasts,” you joked, coaxing a laugh from your friend. You offered a small smile in return, but your heart wasn’t in it. She kinda forgot that this is the last trip you guys would have with Seokjin. If anything, it was doomed from the start.

Little striations ran across the door greeting you, shallow cuts skirting up and down the frame. You roved your eyes over the rough texture; contemplative, lost in the mahogany brown expanse.

If only you were a sturdy tree. You wouldn’t have to worry about any hard conversations in life. All you would’ve had to worry about was possibly becoming a rickety chair for a spoiled brat, or one of Namjoon’s tables that he would eventually damage and lament over.

With a breath, you finally knocked.

It didn’t take long for Seokjin’s freshly showered form to answer, and when you saw him dressed down to a plain white shirt and black pants, you quickly shifted your eyes to the floor. Didn’t he know that outfit was your favorite? Your weakness?

“Hey,” you simply said. “I’m awake now.”

He nodded and let you in, the door closing with a soft click. When you crossed the room, you stopped in front of the couch, anticipation already caking onto your clothes. There wasn’t much to say on your end, you figured, so Seokjin had to take the lead.

Instead of launching into topic, he walked towards you and grabbed a bottle from his nightstand. “Do you want some water?”

You could only stare at the plastic in question. “Did I come here for water, Seokjin?”

There was a heavy pause before the man planted his offering on the nightstand. “No.” Sitting on the longer side of his bed, he clasped his hands together, blank eyes glued to the floor. “Jungkook is right. I won’t be able to go on these trips anymore.”

“Why?”

“I, umm,” Seokjin answered, his words fumbling, “I kinda got into Harvard Medical School.”

“What?” Your anxiousness was forgotten as you gawked at him. That was what he was holding back from you? All this time? That amazing, fantastic, crazy news? Without thinking, you bounded toward him and crushed him in a hug, careful to not push him back onto the bed. “Seokjin! This is what you couldn’t tell me?”

His arms remained at his sides. When he responded, his explanation bounced onto your shoulder, “I literally won’t have a life once I start. None of you will be able to see this face, isn’t that enough to be sad about?”

Another moment of weakness came over you, and instead of overcoming it, you gave in. Your arms tightened around him and you whispered, “No, I’m so happy for you. You’ve worked so hard…”

There were bags under his eyes for a reason. You knew the nights he got three hours of sleep far outweighed the nights he got more than that. The reason you two didn’t get to see each other was his relentless studying and discipline, and you didn’t want him to have to choose between you and a future career. You both were way too young for those rash decisions.

It was with this memory that you were reminded of why you broke up: you wanted him to focus on his goals and you would do the same. “Really, I’m so proud of you.”

Why you hadn’t let go of him at that point was a mystery to you, but you couldn’t seem to stop. The feel of his body against yours consumed you, held you captive even if his arms didn’t.

But after a moment, you felt strong limbs wrap around your sides and emotion wrap around your throat.

You don’t remember the last time you two truly embraced. It was a given that the last time you did, you were both completely different people. Both so young. Both so naive.

“Thank you,” Seokjin breathed, his head finally a beautiful burden on your shoulder, “But there’s more.”

Tension froze your veins, taking the color from your complexion. Of course there was more. There was no way that was the big reveal, even though it was a monster in itself. “Oh,” was all you managed to squeak out.

Seokjin’s arms gently pushed your body away so that he could look you in the eyes. You already missed his stronghold, but you listened as he spoke. “My parents want me to go back home. To Korea.”

You blinked. “Even though you got into Harvard?”

“No, no, after that,” Seokjin expressed with a level of confidence only he could achieve. Like it was inconceivable that he wouldn’t get his doctorate. He then searched your face, the pause holding weight. “So, I don’t know if I’ll see you guys again.”

The wind howled outside and you shivered as if you were standing out there in the cold. There was so much that you wanted to say, but all the thoughts you had in your head melded together into sludge. Words struggled to leave your mouth. Nothing processed correctly in your brain.

Seokjin wasn’t joking - not this time. He really was going to be swamped in work and work and more work. Even the holidays were going to be crammed, and you were sure he wanted to use those rare rest periods solely to recharge.

Yes, he would still be able to text and call everyone, but that would be the extent of communication. He wasn’t big on social media. Even if he was, there would certainly be a dip in his activity now.

Just like you felt earlier, you really did feel like you were going through a breakup again. Only this time, the last remains of your relationship were at stake.

You didn’t want that.

“We’d still be friends,” you weakly offered, wondering if you were just saying that to convince yourself.

An empty chuckle startled you, and when you looked at Jin, he directed an empty gaze toward his nightstand’s lamp. “Yeah… We’d still be friends,” he repeated, and the way he said that made your shoulders sag. It was almost as if he didn’t believe you.

“But Seokjin… You should be so happy. I mean, you’re incredible,” you whispered, a heavy feeling weighing down your chest.

“What if I’m not?”

You sucked in a breath, suddenly not knowing what to do. Was he saying that hypothetically? No. There wouldn’t be a reason for him to ask if he truly was.

How were you supposed to respond to that? Being a doctor was his goal - you were sure of it. If he got accepted into Harvard of all places, then his future glimmered as bright as his charm. “What do you mean,” was what you decided to say. Because you needed more from him than that.

“You said I should be happy. What if I’m not?”

“This is what you’ve been working towards your whole life!” It didn’t make any sense. None of this was making any sense. Who wasn’t happy that they got accepted to one of the most prestigious medical programs in the world? “You did everything you could, and now you have something to show for it! We even broke up over this. And that’s fine,” you quickly added at the end. You didn’t want Seokjin to feel bad for that at all.

“What I’m trying to say is,” you continued, wanting to get every logical word out before more irrational ones escaped. “You’ve gotten everything you wanted. You deserve to be happy.”

You could feel the doors of your heart scraping shut. Even if you wanted to try to be with him again, you would have to give up on that dream. There was no way it was going to work if it didn’t pan out last time.

Fists clenched, you hated how your heart gravitated towards Seokjin on this damn trip, loathed how your brain produced its own highlight reel. Somehow, they both knew this was the end before you did.

“I don’t have everything I want, but you’re right. I’ll be happy.” He sounded bitter. Why did he sound so bitter?

“What more could you want,” you blurted, the question materializing between the two of you in bold letters. You were just getting frustrated at this point.

This was his dream. The ultimate goal. The one thing he wanted out of life.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

“Well, it’s none of your concern.”

“I don’t care if it is or not.”

“You really want to know?” Seokjin shot off the bed, immediately towering over your small stature. As your eyes reached his face, you watched as his lips twisted, your shocked features taking in his frustration. “It’s… It’s love, okay? That might sound weird to you, but I’ve realized that all of this is pointless without it. That’s what I’m missing. I want to love again.” He shoved a hand through his hair, his forehead slightly wrinkling under duress.

The first thing that threw you off was the mere mention of the word. That was so brave of him to even bring it up. With you, of all people: someone he’s dated before. It must have taken so much courage for him to admit that.

But there was another word in there that stood out amongst all the others.

Again. He said again. Did he love someone before? He couldn’t have been referring to what you guys had. You never once said those words to each other while you dated. So who was he thinking of? And why did it hurt to know that he had loved before and it wasn’t you?

“I didn’t know you wanted that,” you replied, your voice painfully small. “But I don’t think it’s weird.”

You wanted nothing more than to just confess to him already, but you had no clue what he would say if he didn’t want something with you. The moment escaped like a thief in the night.

“Ah, well, if you knew the whole story,” Seokjin sighed, his breath shaky, “You would definitely think it’s stupid.”

“Why did it end the first time?” You wanted to get to the bottom of it. Maybe through his explanation, you could find something salvageable. You cared about him - so damn much. Seeing him in a state of utter helplessness seized your heart and gripped it tight. “With the one you… you loved. What happened?”

Seokjin’s indiscernible stare pierced through your soul, his silence screaming that he didn’t want to talk about it.

And you understood his reluctance. The list of activities to do with an ex didn’t include this as an option, either.

You felt the steely aftertaste of guilt on your tongue. Maybe he wanted you to just leave him alone already. Besides, you already pushed him to tell a multitude of truths that night. Asking him about a past love life was most likely crossing the line. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, uprooting yourself from your spot to leave. “You don’t have to tell me. I’ll leave you alone.”

You made it three steps before Seokjin responded, “She decided to end it.”

A vice clamped your chest. You stood in your new spot closer to the door, eyes boring into the floor. “Even though you were in love?”

That must have been awful. If you loved him when you two broke it off, it would have absolutely hurt. Very much like what was happening to you now, in fact. Because fuck, were you absolutely disintegrating like a paper on fire.

“I don’t think she loved me,” Seokjin disclosed, his words tightening the clasp around your lungs. “But I loved her.”

“I’m so sorry, Seokjin.” Tears brimmed across your eyes, but you didn’t want him to see you break. You thrummed with so many emotions in that moment, swept by the current of his words, his heavy tribulations.

He loved someone in the past. You loved him in the present. If only you both harbored a love for each other in at least one point in your lives.

“That must have been hard.”

“It wasn’t, for the most part.” His brittle words crumbled as they appeared. “I saw it coming.”

You chewed on your lip. Seokjin’s confessions were so full of pain - the amount of love he had for this person was obvious. Looking back on your relationship, you remember your split being mutual. It was mutual, right? There weren't any feelings involved. Whichever other situation Seokjin was referring to had to be sometime after you.

Maybe it was someone during his college days. But wouldn’t you have at least heard about them through the friend circle? Their name must have just left your mind. You knew Seokjin flirted a lot but he needed to be serious to really start a relationship. This one just sounded tragic.

“I don’t know what to say,” you admitted sincerely, your chest about ready to collapse, “Other than don’t give up. You can do it. Love again.” The joints in your knees threatened to give out. Telling the one you loved that he could find someone again was too much. Too, too much.

“Ah, yeah. Well.” Seokjin turned away from you in a shrug. Even the back of his profile was perfect. “Thanks for being a good, uh, friend.”

Friend. Could you teleport to your room and stay there? You couldn’t be the one to give him what he wanted, especially since he was about to be gone for a very long time. No matter how much you wanted to. Oh, how you wanted to.

You swung around to face the door once again. Critical words almost freed themselves from your lips, but you held them back, swallowed them down. “I’ll always be your friend.”

Head storming, you commended yourself for keeping your voice level. The tears were able to recede - which relieved you, since you wanted to make it through the rest of the conversation with dry eyes. With one tiny head shake, you whispered, “Let’s get some sleep, okay? I don’t want us to ruin the rest of this trip. Like you said before, we have to make it the best one.”

Seokjin got up and made his way over to you, and you turned around with a fresh face once you knew he was close enough. The smile he wore was manufactured, but you didn’t want to pry. Instead, you repeated your advice as you both approached his door. Because you wanted him to understand. “Seriously. Don’t give up, you hear me?”

“Don’t give up,” he echoed as he pulled on the handle, like you were just giving him directions. He stilled for a moment in deep concentration before looking your way. Dark eyes bore into yours and you could almost hear them speak, but he gave one final nod and vowed, “Okay.”

Little striations met you again when you gave Seokjin’s closed room one last look, and you swore they regarded you with pity. Finally breaking, you let your tears fall the whole way back to your floor, wishing to be made into a sturdy tree in your next life so you never had to feel that way again.

The next morning found all nine friends situated in various places around Seokjin’s room. You thought it amusing that the boys never really settled for normal seats, always choosing a table or windowsill perch instead. As an avid fan of the floor yourself, apparently, you were once again plopped on the ground in front of the sofa. Only this time, you weren’t drowning in the depths of your past.

“Looks like the snow piled up high last night, so we might not be able to use the cars,” Namjoon observed after his long fingers created a tiny crack in the curtains. His argyle sweater blended in with the burgundy fabric and the sight put a small smile on your face.

The action surprised you since you spent the whole night swathed in a blanket of regret, your arms caging your ribs in an attempt to stopper your bleeding heart. If only you were so bold as to allow a confession to fall from your lips. Three words to solve two peoples’ problems.

But the risk involved was too high. The hurt following an unrequited love confession would haunt you through every sunrise and sunset.

Jungkook’s exasperated voice sliced through your thoughts. “What are we gonna do then?” You glanced at him right as he threw himself onto Seokjin’s bed, bouncing the other two occupants like buoys amongst waves.

“What we can do: stay in,” Yoongi responded while repositioning himself against the headboard.

Taehyung’s sigh mingled with Rin’s tsking noise, Jungkook’s deeper groan almost in harmony with the both of them. Their melancholic concerto almost pulled a laugh out of you, but the next suggestion came from Hoseok, “I brought some board games we could play. Cards, too.”

Seokjin quickly shot him a look. “You don’t play board games. Or games. Or cards. Actually, what do you do?”

“I look after all of you.” Hoseok’s head always bobbed when he spoke to accentuate his points. “Hence why I brought board games and cards just in case!”

You couldn’t refute the man’s claims, either. Hoseok always made sure everyone packed what they needed before trips but brought extra stuff in the event that the group needed something else. Helping was just part of his nature. Yesterday was one example. Rin got the snacks last night, but you were sure he would have woken up at any point in time to be your comfort food delivery man. If being a leader were a sport, Hoseok would be the dark horse that you never saw coming until they finished first. Then you couldn’t deny their talent and skill.

Taehyung didn’t let the dark horse live, though. “Thanks, hyung. Did you pack a snowblower, too?”

Rin’s laugh could always be heard amongst your friends, but not because she was a girl. Hers was just so distinct and heartwarming, like a cozy throw or the thought of cookies in the oven. It was only slightly better than Jimin’s.

Speaking of which: Jimin was eerily quiet throughout the whole meeting, his gaze lingering on you more than once. You noticed it ever since you burst into Seokjin’s room and lauded the man’s scholastic advancement. Which couldn’t be helped. No matter how painful last night’s conversation was, you still wanted him to know how proud you were. After all, a person could be sporting a dagger through their heart but still have love to give.

You didn’t know why Jimin was acting strange. The big secret was unveiled but you would come to terms with it. Was he afraid of how you would be feeling? Or was he just sympathizing with you because he assumed you weren’t exactly fine? Talking to him later to iron things out was going to be essential. The multiple glances he threw your way proved too much.

“I have a pamphlet we can look through,” you responded, waving it in the air like a white flag. The decision to bring it just in case proved to be the right one, even if Rin threw a small fit from having to fumble through her bag for the room key again. Warmth from the thick hoodie swallowing both your body and your bent legs validated the first time you went back into your room.

Rin stuck her tongue out at you but smiled right after in her best Sour Patch Kid impression. Cute. You breathily laughed before unfolding the flimsy paper. Shifting your eyes along the colorful pages, you started listing out the lodge activities. “Okay, so we have… Kayaking: no. Lake yoga: no. Mountain biking: no…”

Even though the lodge boasted a huge amount of things to do, the majority of them required there to not be four billion inches of snow outside. Only a few remained, and majority rules determined ski slopes the winner.

The only issue with the slopes was that they only allowed groups of three at a time. To remedy this, groups were formed and a rotation was set based on a heated tournament of rock-paper-scissors. And while Hoseok didn’t play board games, cards, or even video games, he seemed to be a pro at that.

He picked Seokjin and Yoongi for his group, and they were going out first, to the eldest’s horror. You saw his anxiousness coming from miles out - tackling snow with one board was much more up his alley than tackling it with two.

Next, Jungkook chose Namjoon and Jimin since he wanted to somehow “win” on the slopes. They gave him much grief for that.

And that left you with Rin and Taehyung, but they wanted to check out the spa area first, so your group was going to catch up later.

Which wasn’t ideal for you. You wanted to watch Seokjin ski. Or really, you just wanted to see him as much as possible before the trip ended. Seok in his presence, like he said. Maybe being pruny in this case was a beautiful thing.

Room Service knocking on the door interrupted your thoughts, and Jimin let them in to serve the breakfast Seokjin ordered for everyone prior. While the dishes were distributed, the group was already firing bets and insults and digs at each other as if a clear winner would emerge outside. And you welcomed every bit of their energy. Chewing on food while basking in everyone’s competitive nature was enough of a distraction from your woes. At least, until you caught Jimin deep in thought again.

The spa was decent, so you three ended up staying for almost an hour. Both the sauna and facial massage served to ease the thick layer of tenseness under your skin. If only you could transport yourself into a cloud of steam every time you thought about Seokjin. Maybe that would’ve helped with the anxiousness and guilt you felt every time you thought about confessing.

And you were grateful for Taehyung tagging along because he really did offer free hugs often. Even while Rin scanned over the receipt for everything you guys did, the man slung a lean arm around your shoulders.

His voice glided over your hair when he leaned in to ask, “How did it go last night?”

You sighed before responding, debating on how to answer him. You decided to take the easy route. “Good. Better than I expected. I just can’t believe it took him that long to tell me! I was so worried this whole time.”

Taehyung squeezed you gently. “Finally. We kept telling him to just admit it already.”

Rin was in the middle of paying when you smiled. Her hair gleamed in the incandescents, and you reached out to touch it as you admitted, “It’s just weird that he wanted to hide that from me.”

“Well, you’re his ex, so he thought it would’ve been awkward.”

A laugh shot out of you, and Taehyung gave you a look. “Seokjin’s so strange. He knows I’ve been rooting for him this whole time. I mean, Harvard? That’s incredible.”

Normally, friends would converse about achievements and be sincerely happy about them. But something else happened in that moment that set alarm bells off in your head. Whether it was Rin becoming a block of ice in front of you, or Taehyung slowly peeling his arm off of your shoulders, you suddenly got a feeling that something wasn’t right.

When Rin spun around to face you, the expression painted on her face reminded you of those Renaissance pieces you saw during one museum date with your ex. Her eyebrows artfully scrunched; her full lips twisted. Was she on the side of the angels, battling demons? Going to war?

No, she was just trying to clarify something. “He didn’t say anything else?”

You gulped. “I mean, yeah?”

“What did he say?” Taehyung furrowed his dark brows, his own face a work of art in itself.

“That his parents are making him move back to Korea when he’s done with his doctorate,” you revealed, suspicious of the both of them and Seokjin now. You kept your tone level to hide any emotions under the surface. “Why, is there more?”

Once again, you were swept under the wave of confusion. The waters there were dark and cold, and you felt like you couldn’t swim to safety this time. It was as if cotton clogged your ears and a thin film coated your vision. You didn’t even register Taehyung furiously typing on his phone while Rin led you all out of the spa’s reception area.

“Do you want there to be more,” was all she offered before sitting you down on an earthly toned loveseat. The fluffy rug under your shoes snagged most of your attention.

“I don’t know how to answer that, but I guess not,” you finally grunted, feeling angrier and angrier from being left in the dark again. Comparable to a disease, this dangerous feeling was taking over you, trickling into your veins drop by black drop. “Honestly, I kinda just want to go back to the room until we meet for dinner. Whatever you guys are hiding is starting to piss me off.”

“Let’s go,” Rin agreed, urging you to get up and follow her to the room. But you shook her off.

“I’ll go by myself.” Buzzing with anger, you shuffled through your bag to grip your key. “Just let me be alone for a bit.”

Taehyung looked absolutely livid, but he nodded along with Rin. You didn’t watch the two of them share a knowing glance as you drug your crumpling form to the stairs, hoping pieces of you didn’t crumble off before you reached your temporary bed.

From the moment your tired bones hit your comforter, time traveled at a strange pace. You didn’t know how long you spent lying prone on the sheets, your head lolled towards the window. Watching the light snowfall outside did nothing to bring you out of your dark space.

Being left out, confused, and feeling betrayed left you mentally drained. How long were you going to feel like this? Like you were just going to keep being lied to? Maybe you weren’t outwardly lied to, but omitting something was still considered a lie. The truth was still held captive and you couldn’t even pay it a visit.

Rin and Taehyung reacted strongly to what you said. That had to mean whatever else Seokjin was supposed to say to you was big. You weren’t stupid. At least, that’s what you concluded.

But what if you were this time?

You loathed this feeling. You hated being looked at with pity. Even Rin knew what was left unsaid this time, so you were truly alone in the dark.

A dark monster within you rose to life, and you ripped yourself from the sheets. Snatching your coat from the couch, you jerked your arms inside, striding toward your door with purpose. A ball of fury, you were determined to march up the slopes and confront Seokjin. Everything was getting ridiculous.

Tugging the door open, you flinched at the figure waiting on the other side. A brief moment of silence and bewilderment and worry washed over you, quelling a small part of your harbored anger. “What happened to you?”

Seokjin stood in front of you wrapped in his puffy coat, hair in disarray and a small gash on his cheek. His nose was red with the cold and a small cut, and his eyes looked as if he had been holding back tears. Tears? Was he crying? Even now, it seemed like a few were threatening to fall as his gaze lowered. A ghost of a voice wafted from his mouth as he replied, ��Jimin.”

You winced. Remembering the glances the younger man gave you this morning, you should have seen a conflict brewing. Your friend wasn’t lying when he said he’d give Seokjin hell. Something must have broken out when they were on the slopes, or anytime you weren’t there with them. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

If you didn’t have that revelation with Rin and Taehyung, you would have been absolutely thrown by Seokjin’s appearance and the cause of it. But it seemed that both groups found out what he told you last night and neither were pleased with the result. What that result was, you couldn’t determine yet. But based on your own categories, “I got into Harvard” and “I’m moving back to Korea” fit in the Should Know box. The Deserved to Know box was still accepting applications.

“Come in.” Your fury had to simmer on a proverbial stove for the time being. “I have a first aid kit in my bag.”

You hurried him into the room before making a beeline for your duffle. The adrenaline built while you were fired up was still thrumming your bones like guitar strings. Nothing more was said as your bag crinkled with your rummaging, even though you wanted to just wring answers from his neck already.

But you couldn’t. You needed a moment to collect your thoughts, both the past woes you were fighting and your current worries.

As Jin awkwardly stood in front of your bed, you kept pondering. What the hell happened out there? How did it end up in a physical altercation? Did Jin fight back? It was already obvious Jimin initiated it, but you wondered if he sported any bruises, too. Not from Seokjin, though. Because you couldn’t ever see him throwing a punch. You were more curious about someone like Yoongi. The elder one was incredibly protective of Jin.

When you found the kit, you spun around to start tending to your ex’s face. “Bed,” you ordered, pointing towards yours with the first aid box. Your tone was harsh, but you weren’t holding it back.

The man was silent as he delicately sat on the comforter, and you instantly noticed how he refused to look at you still.

No matter. Treating his cuts was a priority, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to force him into confrontation right after. Seokjin wasn’t going to have a choice.

Perching yourself next to him, you propped one leg up to steady yourself, clicking open the small kit next to you. It wasn’t as fancy as the one he carried along, but it housed the basics. Fetching some antiseptic and cotton first, you told him to turn towards you so that you could start.

And despite your anger, your exasperation, your frustration, the hands you lifted to Seokjin’s face were nothing but calm.

Throughout the time you dusted his cuts, you kept your gaze on his cheek, his mouth, his nose. A wall erected around you that you refused to take down. After all of the hurt Seokjin had caused, the turmoil he had put you through, it was pertinent you wouldn’t let him in. You had your soldiers’ arrows at the ready, directed right at his wounded face.

But if you so much as flitted your gaze toward his eyes, your walls would crumble to dust. Your gates would slam open in surrender.

Because having him this close to you after all this time was like coming home. And you harbored that feeling ever since the scent of his cologne consumed you. Your face hovered inches from his, your fingers gently pressing his features. All of the nights you yearned to be this close were so lonely and cold, and his warmth was tugging your heart by multiple strings.

His looming absence was hitting you deeply then. If you gave in only to lose him again, the pain would surely hollow out your soul until you were a mere shell of yourself. You wanted nothing more than to sink into the mattress and slip down into the soil underneath the lodge.

Suddenly, a hand cradled your cheek, and you shook on impact. Without thinking, you locked eyes with Jin, and it was then that you realized he was wiping hot tears from your face.

“If I’m the reason for these,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Something strangled escaped you, and you finally caved. “You are,” you exhaled, unable to stop the tears from falling. “You really are.”

You tore yourself from the bed, instantly feeling the lingering warmth of his fingers fade. A chasm was created between you two: your chest heaving on one side and his face crumbling on the other. The mountain of thoughts and feelings you created broke down under pressure, emotions roaring down its slopes in a cathartic avalanche. “I’ve been looking like a fool this whole trip, and apparently everyone is feeling so fucking sorry for me. Why can’t you just tell me everything? What did Yoongi mean? What do I deserve to know? You told me you got into Harvard and have the audacity to say you aren’t happy? What the hell is that about? We’re supposed to be friends, so why am I feeling like you’re letting that all go?” You choked on your tears and clasped a hand over your mouth, a burn blossoming in your chest from the dry sobs.

Seokjin’s eyes ringed with a burgeoning shade of pink, both of his pupils glossed in guilt. “I’m not… I’m not letting that go, but--”

“But what, Seokjin,” you gritted out, “Please stop and just tell me already.”

“But I was too scared,” he admitted, “I’m still scared.”

“Why are you scared?” The question drifted to his face, and you could tell he was struggling to answer even that one. It pained you to be this close yet so far from the answer.

“Why are you scared, Seokjin,” you whispered again, realizing that his hands were shaking.

“Because…” You watched as he clenched them on his thighs, and he struggled to get the words out. “Because it’s going to happen again.”

Enough with the obscurity. Frustration reached a boiling point. “What’s going to happen again?”

“Exactly what happened last time!” Seokjin declared as his eyes pleaded with you, eyebrows furrowed and kneeling in anguish. The skin encasing his watery eyes remained that same dusty shade of affliction.

You couldn’t for the life of you understand what he was saying, until you remembered last night. When you asked him about the time he loved before.

Wait.

Your hand made a slow descent from your face as you matched Seokjin’s stare. A million words skittered across your eyes, transforming into liquid and sliding down your skin. You were sure you looked an absolute wreck with your tear-stained cheeks and reddened nose, but that didn’t concern you at all. The only thing you could hang onto was Jin’s words, just short of a confession.

But you had to be sure. You weren’t settling for five words that could mean a thousand other things while arranged the same way. “The one from before,” you more stated than questioned, “Where is she now.”

Seokjin never broke his gaze, doing an incredible job of keeping tears at the edges of his eyes. Heavy breaths caused his chest to swell with each pass. Voice low, he finally, finally caved, “She’s the one on the polaroid I have in my room.”

The entire conversation from last night struck you like a freight train. So many realizations hit you at once and you didn’t know how your trembling legs were keeping you upright.

It was you. He was talking about you.

Your coat smothered your limbs like a cage, your whole being rattling inside like an animal starved.

That was what he was truly hiding from you. That was what he had buried deep down into his chest. And you couldn’t blame him one bit after you realized it was exactly what you were holding from him, too.

No matter the reason, you still kept your own truth hidden. It occurred to you then that you couldn’t be angry - that would just be hypocrisy. There was bravery in confession, and even more so to someone you no longer were allowed to feel that way about.

You were the one that forced the truth out of Seokjin, and now you only felt like a coward.

Movement in front of you snapped your vision back into focus. He was getting up to leave. Why was he leaving?

“I knew this would happen,” he said, his voice strained. “I’ll go. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

Oh. He assumed your silence was from guilt. Guilt that you didn’t feel the same. And he was about to walk out with that egregious misconception. What an absolute fool.

But no matter how hard you tried, the words wouldn’t budge from the back of your teeth.

You had two choices here. One, you told him. You laid everything out and you admitted that you felt the same. Then tomorrow, he would leave your life and you may not see him again for years. And you tried this before - being in two separate schools and living different lives while holding onto your relationship. It obviously didn’t work last time, and you still saw him from time to time. This situation would be a thousand times harder.

Which brought you to the second option: you let him go. You let him leave without telling him how you felt. Rip the bandage off right there and then. Leave him to pursue his dream, and with that the freedom to go and find someone else to love. Was that what you wanted? Was this your own sick version of loving him? All the villains in the universe would applaud you as you lied to his face while telling him not to give up. How fucking cruel would that be?

“Seokjin,” you called out, and your chest subtly heaved when he turned to stone by the door. His broad back remained still as you took a step towards him, and only after you roamed your eyes over his shoulders did you notice small movements. But he didn’t face you. It was almost as if he didn’t want to.

Agony consumed your entire being as you made your decision.

You shut your eyes, clenched your jittering fingers into hard fists.

“See you at the campfire,” you whispered, your voice unfamiliar even to yourself.

The only response you got was the soft opening and closing of your door.

Compared to last night’s lion of a snow storm, tonight was but a mere cub. There were small flakes here and there taking their time to descend, and the fixtures from inside the lodge were the only light source beside the fire pit you were approaching downstairs.

Situated in the center of your friends, the flames danced across their jovial smiles as they passed bottles around. The drinks weren’t the lodge’s, but the ones you all brought and snuck out of the rooms - the telltale green glass was enough of a hint.

After Seokjin left, it took you a couple minutes to let everything out, and about thirty minutes crying into Rin’s shoulder once she witnessed your crumpled form on the floor. She listened to your recap of the conversation and Jin’s final secret, and through broken sobs you told her you couldn’t tell him yours. When she asked why, you told her your reasoning. When she called you an idiot, you wholeheartedly agreed and cried even harder.

But you still stuck with your decision. It was for the best. You loved him so much that you wanted what was best for him, and that was to let you go.

“Promise me one thing,” Rin murmured, earning a nod from you. “Only go through with it if you know you won’t regret it.”

A sharp pain sliced through you then, but you acquiesced. “I won’t.”

She then grabbed your Polaroid from the bed. It was Namjoon’s idea to bring it to the campfire once he heard you brought it on the trip. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah,” you gulped, regarding the old piece of the past with heavy eyes. Seokjin confessed to you with the help of that camera. You weren’t okay with the mere idea of touching it. “Yeah, it’s fine. I want everyone to enjoy themselves tonight, so. Yes.”

Even if that meant you suffered. This was Seokjin’s last trip with everyone, not just you. Why keep them from making good memories just because you were a walking dark cloud?

You reached the bottom of the rickety stairs, the squeaky noises catching the attention of the boys. Most of them raised their bottles to you, but you caught Jin staring at the fire instead.

If you got through this night in one piece, it would be a miracle.

Namjoon stood as you and Rin settled into your seats. “Okay. Since we’re all here now, I say we start.”

As everyone gave their cheers, the eldest just looked confused. “Start what?”

“Something for you,” Yoongi explained, his body already comfortable in his Adirondack. “Since you aren’t joining us for these anymore.”

“Ah, yah,” Seokjin protested, “You don’t need to do anything—”

“Don’t lie, you already love this,” Jimin cut in, all smiles despite the companion bruises and cuts on his face to Jin’s. “Although, your opinion may change in a second.”

Jungkook paused his leg bouncing to shout, “Let hyung explain!”

You smiled as the group settled, but noticed that Jimin was looking at you strangely. You didn’t have time to process it, though, since Namjoon headed things off while a bottle rested against his chest, “Jin-hyung. We just want you to know that we’re proud of you. Even though we may not see you for awhile, you’ll be in our hearts and on our minds. Starting tomorrow, you’re already Dr. Kim to us, so I say we all call you by name tonight.”

Laughter and claps filled the air, drowning out Seokjin’s weak protests.

Namjoon cleared his throat to calm the air, and you watched small flakes catch in his hair as he continued, “We’ll each do two things: give you advice, and ask for advice. Since you’re clearly educated, we figured you’d have a lot to say.”

“Oh, I’m just lucky.”

“And keep sharp, everyone. Miss Photographer over there will be taking pictures.” Namjoon nodded at you, and you gave a short smile while holding up the Polaroid. You were fine doing this; behind the lens was your safe space.

The boys and Rin slowly got through their questions and advice, and you were shocked by how insightful Seokjin was being. You never truly realized the magnitude of his intelligence. Every person around the campfire hung on his every word, and it didn’t help that you all took a swig after every good point he made - many, many times. You diligently fired away on your camera, making sure to get Seokjin with everyone so they could all have a moment captured with him.

When Jimin’s turn came, he shot you a glance before looking at your ex. “Jin. That sounds weird to say. Jin-hyung.” He looked at the ground before continuing, and you knew it was to compose himself. “My advice to you… Sorry,” he buried his head in his elbow for a brief moment. Yoongi looked away.

“I kinda gave you advice already,” Jimin trudged on, “And you took it. So, my next piece of advice would be to, uh, keep going.”

You were rooted to your chair. Seokjin didn’t spare you a single glance during that exchange, but you knew it was about you. It had to be how he ended up at your door earlier. He even said Jimin was the one responsible for his wounds.

“Thank you, Jimin,” Jin replied. “As for my advice to you, it’s okay to let people figure things out on their own. You don’t have to put it on yourself to be the one that keeps people together. If something ends up breaking, you’re going to think it’s your fault.”

Jimin regarded him with watery eyes before nodding and wiping his freezing tears. And when he looked your way, he saw you only looking at Seokjin. Your face was slowly cracking, and the shadows in your facade were exacerbated by the flames.

It was your turn; everyone else went. The Polaroid felt like a boulder on your thighs.

You blinked before setting the camera down and clutching your bottle. Since Seokjin was on the other side of the fire, you had to stand to see him, your tenseness on full display.

What could you possibly say in that moment that he wanted to hear? That he was willing to listen to? You were certain you took his heart and slammed it into the ground earlier. It would be better if you just didn’t say anything.

“Seokjin,” you started, pausing to collect yourself. “My advice to you is to forget the advice I gave you before.”

Several pairs of eyes looked at you then. Even Jin finally regarded you, the most aware of what you were referring to.

“What I’m trying to say is: it’s okay to give up sometimes, because not everything that you want to happen is going to happen. There will be times you will just have to let things go. And that’s okay. Because maybe letting things go would end up for the best.”

Jimin’s eyes bore into your soul. He sat so still that it put all the statues throughout history to shame.

Seokjin grabbed his bottle with both hands, elbows resting on his knees. “Interesting advice.” His eyes danced as they took in the warm flames. “I might even follow it.”

Both of your lungs threatened to give out at his words. Your hands almost dropped the glass you were barely clinging to, but you never looked away from Jin. It was as if your attention was chained to his body, your soul weighed down by his earlier confession and now his possible break.

If he followed your advice, shouldn’t you be happy? It’s what you wanted in the end, right? You would let him go, and he wouldn’t look back.

Snow drifted onto everyone’s chairs and the fire crackled in front of you. A small breath left you in a wisp of white. Warmth did its best to help you, but the cold was too strong. No amount of fire in the world could melt your icy conscience - you truly left Seokjin in the dark. He practically admitted that he loved you, and in return you gave him nothing. Of course he would consider your advice.

“But I like the sound of not giving up. It has a ring to it that exists beyond the sound it makes when someone says it,” he cut himself off, the silence deafening. Inside, bells rang in your head. What was he implying? Seokjin’s voice was as clear as blue skies when he continued, “So, I guess I’m stealing your advice and giving it to everyone here.”

Your gaze shifted to the side as everyone turned towards Seokjin. This was something you weren’t prepared to digest. Settling back down into your chair, you tried to even out your breathing and neutralize your shaking fingers.

Your feelings were warring with each other in a confusing battle. If you wanted him to follow your advice, why were you relieved when he said he liked not giving up? Did that mean you hoped he still waited for you? Years and years and years from now?

“Take it from me: don’t give up,” he advised. “But what I mean by that is to not give up until you’re happy.”

Guilt squeezed your eyes shut, clamping your lids down. He was going to wait. Love was the one thing he wanted to be happy. And you held your love for him tightly in your hands, behind your back and hidden from sight.

But even still, in the midst of your silent rejection, this man wasn’t letting go. Without saying the words, Seokjin was going to wait for you. Because he still loved you.

This was too hard.

“To being happy,” Jimin boisterously cheered, startling everyone and causing your bones to rattle. His glass remained high in the air, and everyone joined in with their own proclamations.

“To being happy,” you whispered alongside the others, quickly taking a swig.

Yoongi was the next one to pipe up as he declared, “Okay, now that all that’s done, let’s just drink for fuck’s sake.”

Amongst the laughter and “thank god”s thrown about, you quickly downed the rest of your drink like it was your lifeline. You needed more than liquid courage to get through the rest of the night. The camera by your feet was snatched up by Jungkook before Taehyung could get to it, and you prayed to every higher power that they kept it in one piece.

As everyone made their way back to their rooms, you noticed Seokjin joking and laughing with the others like normal. It was a continuation of the rest of the night, since after the advice conversation it was nothing but fun. Your Polaroid almost ran out of film, for one, but watching everyone fight over the photos was entertainment in itself. There were digs toward Jin until he turned red, jabs thrown at Jimin’s fragile emotional state, and Rin’s warm laughter coating everything in a soft glow.

And it was a bittersweet event. There was nothing more you wanted than to capture that moment and place it in a snowglobe. The world wouldn’t interfere with your friends, and none of you would ever leave.

Seokjin was about to head up the stairs to tuck in for the night. Full of soju and stupidity, you blurted, “Leaving already?”

He stilled before turning toward you. “Oh. Yeah.” He regarded you with a look you couldn’t completely decipher. “Long day tomorrow.”

“Right,” you replied, hating the sudden hollowness you felt. Or didn’t feel.

“Well… Good night.” Seokjin tapped the banister twice before heading up, and you softly wished him good night before speedwalking to your room. You were only tipsy, so the fast trip didn’t bother you. The camera in your hands kept your center balanced the whole way back.

By some strange miracle, you kept it together the whole time after everyone’s campfire speeches. You imagined yourself as an ice sculpture, surrounded by the guests of honor. Everyone gave you a glance and thought nothing else of you. They could only see composure and poise. Only when they got closer could they see you slowly melting, rivulets of remorse cascading down your entire frame.

Rin was in the middle of her skincare routine when you entered your room. As soon as she heard your footsteps, she made a noise indicating she had something to say. The product around her mouth didn’t let her yet, though. Which meant you had to wait.

You stood in the doorframe of the bathroom, vision spinning just a smidge. This was probably a talk you didn’t want to have, but you gave your friend her podium. It was only fair. Her serious talks were few and far between.

But she didn’t have much to say when she finished getting ready for bed. In fact, she only said three sentences.

“It’s 11 o’clock,” she stated plainly, her tone indicating she was done with the calmer approach. Bluntness was more her style.

“Okay?”

“We leave at 7 in the morning.”

“And?”

“It means you have eight hours to decide how you’re going to feel for the next ten years.”

Silence.

All you could respond with was silence.

Dead air. Sober. You were sober now. In that moment, you may have held your breath for a century. Too many thoughts flooded your brain, from past memories at a carnival to future images of an empty apartment with a bed fit for one.

It was stark. Blank. There wasn’t going to be a future with Seokjin, no matter what you said.

But when Rin put it that way, would you feel better if he knew the truth? Or would you keep this idiotic stance and lock your feelings away forever?

For the third time that night, your fingers rattled. Rin took them into her comforting palms.

“Go,” she murmured, and she smiled as she witnessed you burst into the hall.

Your strides were incredibly long as you hurried down the corridor. The doors blurred on either side of your vision, the pattern of the floor elongated with your fast pace. Your camera thudded into your chest over and over. Step after step after step got faster and faster as your anxiousness bubbled into your brain. The last turn before the stairs made you skid, and you rushed up the rickety steps. Your heart was thrumming, scratching at your chest to set it free.

When you got to his door, you were certain you woke sleeping neighbors with your rapid knocking. But you couldn’t stop yourself. Nothing could possibly stop you now.

You had no plan. There wasn’t time to think. All you wanted was to see him. All you could think about was letting everything out. Eight hours. You had eight hours.

Seokjin tugged the door open, pausing mid-swing when he saw your face. He looked so beautiful. Full of warmth. Like home.

“Jinnie.”

You didn’t mean to call him that, but you didn’t take it back. You weren’t taking anything back anymore. His eyes roamed over your features multiple times, searching for any indication that this was a dream. But it wasn’t. The words finally slipped from your lips.

“I’m not following your advice. Or my own.”

His eyebrows furrowed, but you pushed on.

“I’m giving up. But I’m giving up because I can’t let you go.” When Seokjin stared at you, it was impossible to look away.

His response came out in a rush, “What are you… what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you.” You huffed out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “Damn it, I— I just love you. I love you so much it hurts.”

A shaky exhale left you at the look on his face. The quick descent into realization formed in the corners of his eyes, tears pooled at the edges before quickly streaming down his cheeks, collecting at the crux of his chin. Glassy orbs bore straight into your soul in search of answers, of truth. And if he wanted those answers, you already admitted the biggest one, so words were easier to come by.

“I’ve felt this way ever since our trip last year,” you started, slowly inching toward the wreck of a man. Not like you fared any better with the streaks forming on your own cheeks. “And I know it’s the stupidest thing to tell you now since you’re leaving, and we failed at long distance before, but--”

Seokjin breathed out your name, and his next words would stay imprinted in your mind forever. “I still want to try. And I’ll try as many times as you’ll let me.”

“I know. I know that now,” you whispered.

Passion and warmth bloomed in your chest, spiraling out into the far reaches of your limbs. Hundreds of nights imagining him accepting you again didn’t prepare you for this feeling. Nothing was holding you back; your walls came crashing down.

You finally broke and shielded your face in your hands, and you felt sturdy arms shield you from the world. The cruel, beautiful world that brought you two together right before he disappeared from your life again. You cried, and sobbed, and wheezed. The elation from his confession only magnified the pain of his departure.

You felt the weight of the Polaroid leave your chest as Seokjin lifted it from your neck. “Come inside,” Seokjin whispered into your hair, earning a hiccup from your chest. “Please.”

It was only then that you noticed you were still out in the hall. A small nod from you was all he needed to guide you into his room, and your throat constricted at the bags lying open on the bed.

Seokjin was already packing. Packing while thinking he was going to go through the same thing he went through last time. You felt absolutely sick. How could you even think of doing this to him? If there was a way to make it all up to him, you would do it. “I didn’t want to tell you before,” you confessed, burying your nose into his chest. “But that was wrong of me. You almost left without knowing. I’m so sorry.”

Strong, lean fingers traveled through your hair as your camera was placed on a table. The heavy clunk it made reached your ears, and a whisper followed. “I didn’t want to tell you, either. You don’t need to apologize.”

“If I told you earlier, we would’ve had more time. Now I’m just sad.”

“Look at me.” Jin caressed the back of your head, naturally lifting your gaze. His watery eyes took yours in, and he leaned forward to kiss the top of your hair. “We still have tonight, so if we’re going to be sad, let’s wait until after.”

“But you’re crying, too,” you observed, feeling slightly better from his words. How Seokjin was able to have that effect on you, you would never understand.

A light huff from him made you melt. “That’s because I’m so happy,” he confessed, softly laughing again and wiping his eyes with both hands.

He was happy. Seokjin was happy. You looked at the growing smile under his fingers, and you had no choice but to grin and join in his laughter.

Not because it was funny. But because it was unbelievable. You were able to gift him the last piece he was missing - he was finally able to find that happiness. How were you about to deny that from him? Now it seemed unfathomable.

When you looked at his hands again, you noticed there were lingering cuts. Worry washing over you, you cradled one in your palms and asked as Seokjin looked at you, “Should I take care of this, too?” Though the man had more than enough knowledge on playground injury care, you still offered because you wanted to be there for him in any possible way.

He replied instantly, “I took care of everything. Jimin, too. You saw him being his usual self earlier.”

“He said he’d give you hell if you didn’t talk to me on this trip. I didn’t think he would go this far, though.” You reached up to run a thumb along the small gash on Seokjin’s cheek, the blood drying into a deep red. “I’ll make him regret it later.”

Jin leaned into your touch, causing sparks in your skin. “Don’t,” he whispered, “He’s the reason I ended up at your door.”

You just nodded and lost yourself in the feel of his soft face. It was incredibly smooth under your fingers, even better than when you held his cheeks all those years ago. To think that this man loved you ever since then, and continued to do so until now, was unbelievable. But it was true, and no amount of words could account for how you felt about that.

Those eyes overflowing with adoration and affection were solely for you, and diving into them felt like being immersed in sunlit waters.

“Can I kiss you?”

The simple question took you by surprise, but you gazed at his lips. They only looked inviting, so who were you to deny him? “Please,” you sighed, and your eyelids closed shut at his pillowy touch.

Color sprang from your heart at his confession, but heat burst from your chest at his kiss. The moment his lips met yours, every worry wrapped around your conscience snapped in two. Vines of doubt, regret, and anxiety withered under the warmth of Seokjin’s touch. It was cleansing. Powerful. Searing.

A hand captured the back of your neck, and Jin took advantage of your gasp by dragging his tongue around the edge of your lips, a wordless plea to let him in. You gave in immediately, leaning forward and deepening the kiss, roping his tongue and eliciting a groan.

Heat rushed between your legs and you echoed his sound with a soft moan of your own. Unwittingly, your hands found their way to Seokjin’s chest and you reveled in the feel of him under the thin material of his shirt. Without breaking your lips from his, you skirted the cotton hem with your fingers.

Jin knew what you wanted, and his grin against your mouth only made you flush with desire. He broke from your lips to fully remove his shirt, and seeing his bare chest wiped the air from your lungs. You could only stare as you took in the lines of his solid build, wondering how the hell he had the time to achieve that look.

Seokjin smirked at your reaction, tossing his top and hauling the bags off his bed while you were taking time to process everything. “Do I need to charge you?”

You shook your empty head like a zombie. Your brain was currently mush, purely focused on the way his muscles rippled and slid against the confines of his skin. “No, don’t. I didn’t bring any money with me.”

Laughter erupted from the other side of the bed. After Seokjin placed the last bag on the floor, he straightened and clarified, “I meant plug you in. You seem to be buffering over there. Low battery?”

“Shut up and get on the bed,” you teased, shrugging off the coat you still had on. You didn’t even get to change since coming in from the campfire.

“Shut up and get on the bed, yes,” Seokjin fired back mercilessly as he sat on the comforter. He knew exactly how to push you. Even though you laughed, you made you way over to him and stood between his legs.

You were silent then. No matter how happy you were, his departure tomorrow was weighing on you. The time you had with him was short.

You wanted to make the most of it. Bringing your hand up to his face, you made sure to lightly skim over his gashes before mapping the rest. You wanted to ingrain every curve, every dip, every feature into memory. Every second was precious. The polaroid you had of him would still be no match for the real thing. If only you could capture the warmth of someone and keep it frozen in time.

Sure fingers clasped your hand, and Seokjin softly pulled you closer. Your first instinct was to rush in and hug him for dear life, and he immediately did the same to you, snatching the breath from your lungs and tugging tears from your ducts. You buried your face into his neck, inhaling his familiar scent and lamenting all the time you spent worrying over the smallest things.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Seokjin whispered, squeezing your heart.

“I know,” you choked. You didn’t have much else to say.

“I just want to make sure we use it to do what you want.”

You loosened your hold on him, astonished by his consideration. The growing bulge under his pants was more than screaming his wants. You felt it ever since the first kiss. But even still, he wanted to accommodate you. Your needs before his.

It just made you fall for him even more.

Reaching down to skim your fingers along his cock straining against his pants, you hovered your lips over his neck. “I want you,” you whispered before descending upon the smooth expanse of skin and earning a groan.

Without warning, Seokjin tightened his arms around you. In one smooth motion, he effortlessly lifted you to straddle his thighs. You didn’t have time to think as he followed up with grabbing your head, pulling you down for another heated kiss. Your fingers latched onto his shoulders, scraping them when he thrust his tongue into your mouth.

“Don’t do that yet,” he grunted, and you didn’t need to ask why after feeling a twitch in his jeans.

You obeyed for the time being, cupping his neck with both hands. When you rolled your body against his, the hard feel of his stomach made you whimper. It was when you settled back on his hardness that your eyes widened. You were sure he was aching despite his silence. Maybe you could help him out a bit. “Jinnie,” you whispered, a firm hand on his chest, “Lie back for me.”

“I love hearing that again,” Seokjin admitted through a content smile, starting a fire across your cheeks. He leaned back after giving you another peck, and you plucked yourself from his thighs to take your shoes off.

But time was your biggest motivator to strip most of your clothes at that moment - not just your boots. Your pants were first, followed by your sweater, and finally your shirt. The whole time, Seokjin stayed propped on his elbows, watching you intently. He couldn’t hide the adoration in his eyes even if he tried. As he watched you stand there in nothing but your set, he smiled. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you whispered in return. “Still not as great as you, though.” You started unbuttoning his jeans before he could defend his stance, and he lifted his lower body to help you shrug them off with his underwear. When Seokjin’s thick cock sprung free, your heart jumped at the sight. It had been so long since you felt it, tasted it, rode it. Was he thinking the same? Taking his velvety length in your hand for the first time in a long time, you felt a burst of confidence at its familiarity and his response.

“Baby,” he groaned, running a hand through his hair. “Please.”

You didn’t need another word. At the sound of the familiar pet name, you already started hovering over his cock, admiring how pretty it was before diving in. Licking around the head, you used the slick to glide your mouth far down his shaft, rolling your hand along the bottom to coat the rest.

Seokjin jolted at the sudden pleasure, and you felt a pang in your heart. You wanted him to remember this night. And you were much more experienced than you were before, though you would only get so much time to prove your growth.

Coming up for air, you used your hand to gather the rest of your spit and slide it down his cock, rubbing it a few times before diving down again. The stilted, garbled noises coming from your filled mouth were even getting your own underwear soaked, but they weren’t a match for Seokjin’s. His delicious grunts and moans sent you close to the edge. They were deeper than you remembered, and he wasn’t one to shy away from showing you how turned on and pleasured he was feeling.

The prominent veins of his cock were the roads along which your tongue traveled, and you made sure to love them all in between stuffing him fully in your warm mouth. He was so big, but you wanted to take every inch, tears welling in your eyes with your efforts.

You fought through even when you felt him rock the back of your throat. Seokjin took that moment to sit up, causing tears to leak fully down your cheeks at the deeper thrust. His hands dove into your hair, but he didn’t force your head down. Instead, they tugged you off his cock, and he gazed down lovingly at your wrecked expression. Jin’s voice dipped an octave and came out coated in sin as he asked, “Can you go a little more for me, beautiful?”

Your body tingled on instinct. You nodded and, when he smiled, you gripped his drenched dick in your fingers before descending your mouth onto his balls. Seokjin bucked his hips forward in a jolt as you grinned, lapping at his salty skin and delighting in the tremulous groans rolling down your back. Your hand squeezed the tip of his shaft before you straightened again, taking his cock captive without pause.

“Shit,” he grunted, his long fingers diving into your hair. His hands still didn’t push you down further, oddly, so you took the initiative and plunged down yourself.

The feel of his cock in your mouth was so familiar. It was almost second nature how easily you sucked him off, knowing when to hollow your cheeks and pull him further down the abyss of ecstasy. When to sink further and hum, ripping a delicious sound from his throat. Even when to bob and swirl your head around, effectively shutting down his ability to function.

It was then that you chose to really bring it home. You breathed through your nose as you took more and more of him in, even after you couldn’t breathe anymore. You felt your nose hit this pubic bone, and the long moan you got from Seokjin was worth the burn in your throat. His fingers tightened around your head, but when you came up gasping for air he didn’t stop you.

“Come here,” is all he said, tugging you up to straddle him again. A trail of saliva swung from your lips as you came up, but you paid it no mind. If anything, it added to the building lust inside your bones. Your panties were absolutely drenched by now, so dragging your core along Seokjin’s cock caused both of you to twinge. “Fuck,” he gasped, fueling your heat.

“Jinnie, please,” you whimpered, your voice hoarse. You wanted everything from him at once. You were getting impatient, and the overwhelming time pressure was stressing you the hell out. “I need you, please.”

Suddenly, everything stopped as Seokjin cradled your chin and swiped the spit from your lips. “You have me,” he assured you. “You have all of me.” He kissed your nose. “And you’ll have me for a very long time.”

Relenting, you leaned into his touch. “Now is what I’m concerned about.”

“I know,” he agreed before kissing you again. “I just wanted you to know the rest.”

“Okay,” you whispered before capturing his full lips with your own. When you felt him wrapping his arms around you, your heart leaped into your throat. When you felt him shift the both of you to lower you onto the bed, you already knew fresh tears were waiting behind your eyes.

With great care, Jin slipped your underwear off your smooth legs. Your bra was deftly unhooked next - not without an eyebrow raise from you and a wink from him - and tossed from the bed.

Staring at your naked form, Seokjin appeared completely lost in thought. It got to the point where you felt like covering yourself, but when you attempted to he swiftly denied any insecurity. “Don’t keep this from me,” he whispered. “I want to remember everything.”

You kept it together until then. Something in you broke and you softly choked on a cry. So he was thinking the same as you. This was the last night for a long time.

Starting from your shoulder, he kissed his way down along your neck, your collarbone, your chest. Taking one breast in one hand, he swirled his tongue around the nipple of the other. You gasped from the sudden burst of pleasure, which made Seokjin repeat the motion on the other side. He then lightly sucked on the nipple, releasing it with a small pop.

You wanted to close your eyes and lose yourself in the waves of pleasure he was giving you, making his way down your body. But you wanted to relive this night again and again. So you had to keep your eyes on him. Only him. His mouth’s searing heat as it kissed along your stomach, and the stark cold left behind when he moved on. His soft touch as he gently pried your legs open, and dark, lust-filled eyes as he stared at your dripping entrance. You wanted to remember the way he kissed along your legs, nipping in some places to make you gasp. The way his beautiful lips connected with your heat in a reverent kiss before his tongue explored inside. Each flick of his tongue, squeeze of his fingers on your legs, noise from his lips. How you loved him through every second of him worshipping you.

As soon as he brought his fingers up to caress your folds while sucking on your clit, you had to stop him. It was too much. You wanted to feel him when you broke.

Seokjin wordlessly obeyed as he crawled above you. You pulled him down for a kiss, not caring how he tasted. Your hands then went to his shoulders as he positioned himself at your entrance.

“Are you still…”

“Yes,” you nodded, touched that he remembered. “I’m still on it.”

“Okay.” He swooped down to capture your lips, and when you clenched your fingers around his shoulders, he grunted. “Are you okay to take it all?”

“Go slow. For now,” you said, earning a nod. “It’s been awhile.”

Seokjin’s gaze was heavy as he prepared himself. “Same.”

At the initial push, you whooshed out a gasp. It had been way too long since you’d been with someone. The intrusion indeed hurt. Maybe you should have let him prep you more, in hindsight. But Seokjin was nothing but tender as he waited for you to adjust. Once you were okay, he steadily pushed out and in again, going deeper. Slowly but surely, you were able to fully take him in.

And the feel of him completely inside you was nothing like you’ve felt before. It was comfort. It was home. It was a perfect fit, and you wanted to stay like that forever.

“God,” Seokjin groaned, “I don’t want to leave this room.”

You chuckled, rolling your hips. “Hmm, pussy or Harvard. That’s a pretty tough one.”

“If it’s yours, Harvard can wait,” Seokjin grunted before sending your thoughts spiraling with a huge thrust. You outright whined at him, but he pulled out only to spear you again with one long motion. “You still like it rough, baby?”

Chills cascaded down your spine and pooled at the apex of your toes. This was the Seokjin you were waiting for. You wondered if he was still into that after witnessing everything he was doing for you beforehand. But oh, were you ready for the pivot. “Fuck, yes,” you moaned. “You know I do.”

“You still have your word?”

“Carousel, yes.”

“Good girl.” That was all Seokjin needed. Grabbing the top of the headboard behind you, he launched into a rough and relentless pace that had you seeing stars. You felt so full, yet so weightless as you let your body go limp. The feel of Seokjin’s cock slamming into you repeatedly would continue to exist for months after tonight, the ridges of it sliding along your walls never forgotten entirely. You needed as much as he could give, and he knew that.

Gripping one of your legs, he hauled it over his sweat-slicked shoulder and tilted himself to reach a deeper position, twisting his reddened face to plant kisses on your ankle. Mewl after mewl tumbled from your lips at the deep thrusts.

“Touch yourself for me, baby,” Jin commanded while still pounding into you, and you wouldn’t dream of disobeying. Your fingers went straight for your jiggling breasts, teasing your nipples and tugging them for his blown out eyes. You moaned, and smirked when you saw Seokjin beginning to lose himself.

His tell was his scrunched eyebrows, and his eyes shifting down to watch his cock ram into your tight cunt. You still knew, after years.

You fell into complete ecstasy when he reached down with his free hand to rub your clit between your bodies, loving the way the veins in his arms protruded. Imagining licking along them all made you moan. And you didn’t care if the people around you heard. All of your mewls, moans, whines - they were all for Jin. He could have all of you again and again.

After one particularly deep thrust, he tugged his cock out, leaving your walls fluttering around an agonizing emptiness. “Turn around. On your knees.”

“Holy fuck, yes,” you rasped. He wasn’t letting the night go to waste at all.

Before you even assumed the next position, you felt a hand come down on your ass. The smack jolted you forward in pain, with pleasure settling in its wake.

“So pretty,” Seokjin whispered, ghosting his hand over the spot he spanked. He gave it another smack before gripping your ass cheeks apart. You assumed he was roving his eyes over your drenched core. “And still so wet.”

“Just for you,” you affirmed.

“Just for me,” he repeated before adjusting his knees on the bed to get closer. “But you might be too loud tonight, baby. I’m going to need silence from you this time.”

Shit. You were never, ever good at this part. But you nodded. What you weren’t expecting right away was the initial stroke to be rough, right down to the hilt. You cried out immediately, earning you a harsh spank.

Seokjin’s sudden laugh made you chuckle in embarrassment. He breathily joked, “Out of practice?”

“Something like that,” you admitted, your elbows and grin lost in the sheets. “I’m rusty.”

“Okay, let’s just do this then.” Jin leaned forward, stretching over you. You groaned at the feel of his solid chest on your soft back, your eyes rolling into your head feeling him completely mold into you for a moment. He got a fluffy pillow from the other side of the bed and let your head rest on it. “Can you bite this for me, my love?”

The new name spread wildfire across your face. “Yes. That I can do,” you assured him. When you had the material securely in your mouth, you nodded to signal he could continue.

“Good girl.” And continue Seokjin did. He went right back into the dominant Jin he loved being, and the one you loved being with. There was no mercy in his thrusts, stroke after stroke after stroke. If you lifted your back a little or lowered your butt, he smacked your supple flesh and corrected you instantly. “Ass up, baby.”

With Jin’s relentless pace, your body went limp and hung on by a thread. Loosening up allowed for even more of his cock, and your muffled moans started getting louder the closer and closer you got to the edge. You could feel your core tightening, threatening to unleash the pent up tension.

“That’s it, beautiful,” Seokjin praised, feeling your walls squeeze around him. “Do you want to come like this?”

You hastily shook your head. You wanted to see him when you came. And if you remembered correctly, he loved seeing your face when it happened, as well.

“Too bad,” he chuckled darkly, and you almost came undone right then. “Guess you’ll have to come again the way you want to later.” Reaching under you, he toyed with your clit as he kept the pace from behind.

You let go of the pillowcase as you kicked your head back in a moan, your saliva trail slowly gravitating toward the sheets. Seokjin only let you breathe for a second before pushing your head back down into the thin material. “Make noise again and you won’t come at all.”

Fuck. You bit hard into the pillow, tears forming at the corners of your eyes as you felt yourself losing control. His fingers felt divine on your bundle of nerves, his dick sliding through your folds over and over and over. The hand he placed on your head smoothed over your hair before bunching it and tugging. You reared back, dots swimming in your vision. “God, I want to choke you. Can I do that, my love?”

You released the pillow from your mouth again. His consideration was top notch tonight. Too much? You couldn’t decide or really care. “Yes, just do it. Do anything. Please. I’m so close.”

“Mm. Then cover your mouth.” Before you could follow his command, Seokjin pulled you up by a shoulder to be flush against his front. Sweat coated your back and your ass, causing you to slide down his chiseled stomach while speared on his cock. A strong hand wrapped around your throat, and the fingers that were teasing your clit mercilessly now ventured into the front of your folds.

One of your hands shot up to clamp over your mouth right before you let out a long groan. You loved when he took control, and when he lost control. If both happened at the same time, it was heaven.

You could barely last on your knees as his dick slammed up into you repeatedly. The hand around your airway was tight but only just, his praises in your ear being the real culprit of your stolen breath. Your pussy clenched harshly around his length, and you knew from the tight coil in your body that you were seconds from euphoria.

Seokjin felt it instantly. “Come, baby.” And as soon as he relinquished your throat did you give in, waves of pleasure coursing through you and a white burn shimmering in your lungs. It seemed endless. Ripple after ripple thrummed through your body, your joints slowly unlocking from their initial freeze. Behind you, Seokjin groaned and sang sweet nothings in your ear, his arms wrapping around your chest in a scorching embrace.

The high ebbed, but did not completely recede. You knew Jin still needed release, so you kissed his wrist next to your shoulder and whispered, “I want to see you now.”

“Whatever you need.” Seokjin slowly unsheathed himself, and you felt a slight pain. You watched as he positioned his back on the headboard. He knew what you wanted to do.

You made your way over to him and hovered over his length. Locking your hazy eyes with his dark set, you kissed him lazily as you languidly sank back onto him. Seokjin groaned when you didn’t use your hand as a guide beforehand. And frankly, that turned you on, too.

“You’re so tight still,” he grunted, his hands coming up and grabbing your ass before settling on your hips.

You rolled your hips before finding a rhythm. “You’re just big,” you mock complained, earning a deep chuckle.

“Aww. You sound. So. Sad,” he teased, thrusting up into you to punctuate each word. Your mewls were welcome now since he was done with his role. Now he could just sit back and enjoy your show for him. And occasionally torture you.

You found your rhythm again, rougher with him now with your hands in his dark, sweaty locks. One of your hands dropped onto his chest and raked down his breast, eliciting a higher moan than normal.

The sound caused heat to pool between your legs again, and you upped the pace. Your thighs burned from the exertion, but you kept yourself distracted by diving into Jin’s neck and nipping in multiple places. His arms left your hips to wrap around your back, and your breath faltered as he took over again.

Seokjin was close. He was always close when his limbs locked hard into place. His upward thrusts were fast and hard, and you could only moan in his ear and take him in. The coil that released once tonight was tightening again, and you murmured in his ear that you were close.

Seokjin only needed to kiss you like his life depended on it for you to unravel again. The wave was weaker than last time, but it could still cover mountains. Your head felt light, dancing above the clouds with no intention of coming down. You pushed yourself from his lips, allowing him to see your flushed chest and reddened cheeks. The second orgasm faded and loosened your limbs, but your heart felt completely connected to his, your soul nestled into the comfort of his tender embrace. “I love you,” you sighed, and you immediately felt a huge twitch between your folds.

“Lie down, baby. I’m close.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered, cradling his cheek. “Come inside me, Jinnie. I wanna feel you.”

“Shit,” he grunted. His thrusts descended into madness. Your heart rattled at the sight of his dusted red cheeks, sweaty neck, heaving chest. He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen, and the one you would overturn stars to find should you ever lose him again.

When he gazed down at your joined sex, you took in the wet strands of hair on his forehead. When he kicked his head back against the headboard to look at you with lidded eyes, you bit your swollen lips. This wonderful man was your lover, your ex, your friend, and now your lover again. Only this time, you truly loved him back. And you wanted to think back to this moment forever.

Tears sprung into your eyes as he pulled you in for a searing kiss, and his orgasm released into you in spurts. The thrusts he made then were slow and powerful, and your body bobbed with the swells. You kissed him harder than necessary, almost willing to bruise your own lips on his. The longer you held his lips captive, the longer he couldn’t see your sorrow.

But Seokjin already felt the drops ping his chest. He just let you cry because that’s what you needed. Even when he broke from the kiss, he never said a word. He trailed kisses along your wet cheeks, your sweaty nose, and your glistening forehead. His poignant visage held nothing but stars, and it reminded you of the night you fell in love, crushing your spirit ever more.

Touch after touch after touch only coaxed more tears from your eyes. It felt never ending as you sat spent in his lap, still on his softening length. Sheer willpower was what caused you to finally speak, your voice hoarse, “We should clean up. You still need to pack and sleep.”

“We should, and I do,” he whispered. He patted your bum. “Can you get up by yourself?”

You nodded before extracting yourself from his firm thighs, lamenting the fact that human bodies had limits. As you waddled to the bathroom, you stumbled along the way, Seokjin softly chuckled while following you and steadying you when needed. Even when you shot empty glares at him, the smile in his eyes never left.

The rest of your time spent in his room consisted of silence and kisses. Ever the gentleman, he let you lie down on his bed while he used the other half for the bags to pack. It didn’t take him too long since he was organized from the jump, so when he was done he cleared the bed and joined you under the covers. When you felt a weight on your stomach, you looked down to see your camera dumped on the comforter.

Seokjin wrapped a strong arm behind your neck. “What do you call naked pictures taken with a Polaroid?”

“Oh, no.” You turned your head to face him. “What?”

“Just pictures. But that’s old nudes.”

You punished him by attacking his sides instantly, yanking a batch of honky laughs from him. Knowing your own weaknesses still, he unleashed his own parry, and it took a minute for the both of you to settle in a draw.

“Don’t tell me the only reason you brought this into the bed was to tell that horrid joke,” you chuckled, your head back to resting in your pillow.

“Nope. I wanna take one of us.”

After getting past all seven of your objections and excuses, Seokjin whittled your walls down and got you to agree. The end product existed on the last film in your Polaroid: a crooked snapshot of him kissing your cheek as you smiled with creased eyes, sheets held against your chest. And he conceded in letting you keep it after watching you clutch it lovingly in your fingers.

You immediately sought comfort in his embrace after setting the photo next to your phone on the nightstand, and he stole multiple kisses from you way after your eyes couldn’t stay open any longer.

“Get some sleep, my love,” Seokjin whispered.

And despite your sound of protest, you were pulled into the abyss of sleep right as you felt pillowy lips caress your forehead.

Rin-Rin [6:40am]: You’re lucky I love you. I packed your stuff and left out an outfit for you when you come down. Just don’t be late or I’ll drag you back down myself :)))

Jiminie [6:45am]: RISE N SHINE LOVEBIRDS

Rin-Rin [6:46am]: Oh, yeah, I may or may not have texted Jimin.

Jiminie [6:46am]: ABOUT TIME

Jiminie [6:46am]: !!!

Tae [6:47am]: jimins scream woke me up. i can only assume that means ill get to be an uncle soon. dont let me down i want this(:

Joonie [6:48am]: Aaaaaaaaaa !!!

Jiminie [6:48am]: And I know you want to yell at me for yesterday so I am ready for that whenever you are

Kook [6:50am]: <3

You smiled at your texts before locking your phone. Seokjin was already up and about, making sure everything was packed and accounted for. When he saw you stirring, he came over and surprised you with a kiss so deep that it revitalized your sagging emotional state. “Morning,” you chuckled, swinging your sore legs out of the sheets and wincing at the cold. “I need to head back down.”

“Yeah, Rin already sent the first round of threats. I’ll see you at the car, okay?”

You pecked him on the cheek after you slipped on your boots and grabbed your Polaroid. Stepping into the hallway, you kept reminding yourself to not completely lose it yet. There was still a whole car ride you got to have with him, and you were determined to slow down time however you could.

Your phone buzzed again, and you assumed Yoongi and Hoseok were just now waking up and getting the gossip. Checking your notifications only validated your guess.

Hobi [6:52am]: AHHHHH HAPPY FOR U~!!!

Hobi [6:52am]: ASLSKDJSKDHSKDJ

Yoongi [6:53am]: I’ll make sure to drag him back sometimes. It’s ludicrous to say that we’d never see him again. Drama queen. Anyways, happy for you. If you need anything, let me know.

Hobi [6:53am]: we’ll see seokjinnie again love. and if u miss him a lot then we can make sure you see him. im sure he’ll be missing u too

How you were able to win the friend lottery and meet these people, you had no clue. But you weren’t going to ever question the fact. All you would do was embrace your blessings and love them.

The car ride to the airport was long, but still much too short for your liking. Between the loving gazes you directed at Seokjin as he sang along to Taehyung’s music, the looks full of mirth Jimin gave the both of you from the backseat, and the laughter of both Rin and Taehyung, you were the happiest you’ve felt in a very long time.

Throughout the ride, you got the feeling that you were going to be okay. Seokjin was starting an insane adventure, but you were also going to be there every step of the way. Not just on the polaroid he decided to stash in his bag, but in his heart and on his mind like Namjoon said around the fire.

There were still plenty of ways to see each other and communicate. And since he technically didn’t start until next summer, that gave you plenty of time to see him before then. The many possibilities made you question your hesitation in the first place.

But none of that diminished how much of a struggle it was still going to be.

When the car rolled to a stop in the airport parking lot, your chest constricted. When everyone got their bags out of the cars and started the trek to the shuttles, your hands shook on your straps. As soon as everyone started saying their byes and separating to check into their airlines, you found it hard to breathe.

But a tender hand brushed through your hair, and plush lips connected with your forehead. In an instant, you felt okay again.

Seokjin’s calm voice slipped over your features. “Your flight leaves in two hours, right?” When you nodded, he continued, “Okay. Come shop with me before I have to go to my gate!”

You tried your best to keep a positive attitude while you watched Jin peruse different airport stores. When he would hold stuff up for you to approve, you would smile or dramatically turn things down. Even the cute neck pillow he really wanted got the dreaded rejection.

But that was only so you could pay for it when he wasn’t looking and surprise him. The huge laugh and grin you got in return was worth the trouble.

When it was time for Seokjin to head to his gate, you brought him in for a crushing hug. “Let me know when you land,” you demanded.

“Of course, honey,” he said through a smile.

“‘Honey,’ now?” You regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “You have so many nicknames for me. I can’t keep up. Do you have a favorite you could stick with?”

Seokjin rested his chin on your head. “Ah, I have a favorite. But it’s not true yet, so I shouldn’t use it.”

A fire ignited in your heart, the flames warming you from the inside. “And which one is that?”

“Would you look at the time!” Jin’s body heat left you in a rush as he stepped away, and your instinctual pout made him laugh outright. He cupped your chin for a kiss that rocked your whole being before pulling away. His eyes held galaxies in them when he stared into yours. “Guess you’ll have to wait for the answer to that one.”

“You’re a jerk, Jinnie,” you huffed, but you kissed him again. “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I really am. And I love you,” he responded. His hand came down to squeeze yours before he had to part. “I’ll let you know when I make it. Call me when you get home, okay?”

“Okay,” you replied, and you watched his long strides with a heavy heart and a hopeful mind.

As you told yourself again and again, you were going to be okay. It was going to be tough, it was going to be absolutely painful. But as long as you decided to keep loving each other, everything would work out.

You knew better than anyone that love was a choice. And for Seokjin, you would choose it a thousand times over.

And besides, the current state of technology was on your side. The possibilities of communication were too endless for you to dwell on the distance. Were there going to be days in which you only received one text? Most likely. Were there going to be weeks where you weren’t going to hear much from Seokjin at all? Definitely. But this time, unlike last time, you welcomed every bit of it. Your heart built a bridge to his that defied any sense of physical distance. On opposite sides, both of you were achieving success in your own ways. In the end, you would always come back to each other to celebrate together. Even though this was the last November trip you had with Seokjin, it was the beginning of many, many wonderful years to come.

It was later, while you were waiting for your own flight to finish boarding, that a message was sent to your phone.

Jinnie [12:04pm]: Attachment: 1 Image

You couldn’t help but grin. As you gazed lovingly at the picture of Seokjin smiling next to your polaroid, another one came in before you could respond.

Jinnie [12:05pm]: Until you’re really next to me, this will have to do. Don’t get too jealous!

You laughed to yourself, rolling your eyes while setting the image as your wallpaper. Locking your phone, you tapped the glass to see your screen light up, observing the picture again.

On a plane heading to another city entirely, Seokjin was doing the exact same thing. Except in his case, he was smiling down at a girl caught in mid-laughter, body aglow from the bright yellow lights of a spinning carousel behind her.

a/n: whewww so if you made it to the end, hi! i seriously enjoyed writing this and i learned so much. it’s my first fic and first huge one-shot, so if you have any comments/concerns/constructive feedback, please let me know! my ask box is always open, too. lastly, here is my m.list if you want to browse! 🌨🌨🌨 ++ feedback box (added nov. 25th, 2021): ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that aren’t okay with reblogging with a review, commenting on this, or sending a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a feedback dropbox :D ⇥ here! ++ ⇥ masterlist

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thr-333 · 5 years ago

Text

Just Another Class Trip :) Part 6

Marinette goes on a nice peaceful trip to the pool. Me? sarcasm? how dare you sir!

First< Previous >Next

---------------------------

“Did you find what you were looking for Marinette?” Kagami asks oh so foolishly.

“Kagami look into my eyes and ask me that again,” Marinette dares, her eyes red rimmed with bags underneath bigger than Chloe's luggage.

“... You found your glasses?”

“Never mind,” She sighs, finishing the rest of her coffee, “At least that one isn't missing,”

“I thought you only wore them as M-you-know-who,” Chloe whispers, a purposeful look towards Lila’s posse leading the way to the bus.

“Just wanted to try them out without a mask,” She brushes off easily, she needed to be able to transport back to Paris at any time after all.

“Oh it was just terrible!” Lila cries, capturing the attention of everyone surrounding her.

“Did she finally hear a recording of herself?” Chloe scoffs, making Adrien shush her and Marinette crack a smile.

“This Starling kidnapped and tortured me for information,”

If only I had

“Luckily Batman was there to save me, but I knew he would be,” Lila croons, the class fretting over her all the while, “He was probably searching furiously the second I didn’t return his call,”

“When did she get Batman’s phone number?” Chloe whispers to her.

“No idea, think she’d give it to me?” Marinette smirks.

“Oh sure I bet it's 3825968,” Chloe laughs at her own joke.

Marinette doesn't get it but Kagami starts laughing, so she moves to stand next to Adrien while they share a moment.

“Any idea?”

“Not really,”

They reach the door going through it to find Gotham in the nice peaceful state it's always been.

Just kidding, lights start flashing in their faces and everyone around them is yelling. Lila of course tries to take this opportunity to get attention. To Marinette's great delight they push right past her, and to her horror opt to shove a million microphones in her face.

“Miss Wayne were you adopted?!”

“Yes but-” the cameras start flashing and the yelling increases tenfold.

“When?! How long ago!?!”

“A baby I guess?” She hadn't known her birth parents after all.

“How have you stay'n out of the public's eye for so long?”

By not being like Lila for one

“Mari I don’t think you’re talking about the same thing,”

“Yeah thanks, I’m getting that Adrien,”

“Adrien Agreste? Are you two dating?!”

“Great,” She ignores them, instead whispering to Adrien, “From now on Buttercup will be your codename,”

“Cool,” He leans in to whisper in her ear, “But I don’t think that’s helping things,”

It’s at this point the cameras are going crazy taking a million pictures of the two whispering in each others ear, while Kagami and Chloe try to push them all back. The class follow behind just as confused. Madame Bustier is trying to reason with the crowd, trying to . They reach the curb, fighting not to be pushed onto the road by the crowd. A limousine pulls up and for a wonderful second Marinette thinks Liam has come to save her, the wonderful manager he is. Instead Alfred steps out, surprising to say the least. He ushers her inside and tells the rest of the class the bus will be through momentarily. Marinette slides into the car right next to Bruce Wayne… well.

“Hello again, I um…” Marinette thinks back to their last meeting, “I don’t think I actually told you my name,”

“No you didn’t,” Bruce chuckles, “And Selina has been avoiding me ever since,”

“Sorry, well I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng Auntie Selina’s niece,” Marinette shakes his hand, “She didn’t tell me she was engaged,”

“Bruce Wayne, Selina didn’t tell me she had a niece,”

“Yeah, that's a bad habit isn't it?”

“Indeed,” Bruce pauses, both trying to reach for a conversation topic, “So you like fashion?”

She had said she would design her aunts wedding dress. She should probably double check that with the groom, whoops,

“I do I already sketched out some designs,” She takes out her sketchbook which has a good thirty pages dedicated to wedding dresses, “Oh you were probably going to hire a professional designer weren’t you?”

“We were considering MDC,”

“.... I think that’ll work out just fine either way,”

“Hm,” Bruce looks curiously at her as she hides away her sketch book, she would be using those designs either way.

“Anyway!” She changes the topic oh so subtly, “About those reporters…”

“Theres a certain rumour running rampant that you are a Wayne, after someone took a photo of you with my son at the airport,” Bruce explains, switching over to business mode in a heat beat, she could appreciate that, “We’ve been doing our best to contain it, but…”

“At the airport…” She mutters to herself, “Oh! Tim’s your son, that explains Alfred, that must mean Dick is too!... work at Wayne tower, yeah very funny,”

She tries not to roll her eyes at their understatement of the century, wasn't Tim Drake a CEO there?

“Impressive, have you met Damian too?” Bruce asks, a slight smile that would have called Kagami expressive.

“Not yet, but should I invest in a bingo card?”

“Maybe so,”

They fall into silence Marinette would usually hold polite conversation but her thoughts were in turmoil. Lila didn’t seem to know anything about the miraculous then again her interrogation was cut short by a certain someone . However Tikki had advised her against placing all the blame on Lila, she needed to consider other options as well. But who else could it be? she was in Gotham Hawkmoth couldn't reach her… unless he somehow...

“Marinette are you alright?”

Marinette startles look over at Bruce who is blurred by tears. She hadn't even realised she’d been crying.

“I-I’m sorry,” She hiccups trying fruitlessly to wipe away the tears, “I-it just…”

“It’s ok,” Bruce rubs her back comfortingly, but boy did he choose the wrong words.

“IT’S NOT OK!” Marinette yells not looking at anyone in the car, they didn’t matter, nothing else mattered, she had failed and people were going to suffer for it, “I left it behind! It’s all my fault! Now it’s GONE! It’s been stolen and I don’t know where it is!”

“What was stolen?” Bruce presses, getting over the shock of the polite and put together girl melting down into a puddle of sobs.

Now I’ve gone and messed up, time for a classic cover story and some half truths

“A good friend of mine gave me a very important jewellery box,” Marinette sighs, wiping the tears away and rebuilding herself, “It was stolen shortly after arriving in Gotham and I’ve been trying to find it,”

“Do you know who stole it?”

“I thought it was one of my classmates,” Marinette frowns, they should have certainly been there by now, “Still do honestly,”

“Which one?”

“Lila probably,” Marinette tries to keep her tone neutral, tries, “Brown hair that looks like sausages,”

Marinette could almost see the words ‘oh fuck’ written across his face.

“Miss Dupain-Cheng, we have arrived,” Alfred speaks up for the first time, not leaving her time to puzzle over the reaction, “Your class arrived some time ago,”

“How did that happen?” Marinette frowns, they should have arrived ages ago.

“Alfred must have taken the scenic route,” Bruce shrugs, acting like an innocent party in all this.

“Well then I guess I’ll see you for the wedding,” Marinette tries not to rush out of the car, certain her class or rather Lila would have caused some grief by now.

“I’ll make sure to send the invites to your family personally,” Bruce promises, shaking her hand before she can run off.

“And I’ll make sure Auntie Selina doesn’t destroy them,” Marinette smiles back brightly, she can see the concern for her all over Bruce's face but doesn't have time to reassure him.

Marinette walks into the indoor pool, knowing her luck the class was already inside. They were and the owner was not happy about it.

“First your class was late then you waltz in here late as well?” The manager berates her.

“I’m sorry sir,” Marinette tries to seem more sincere but her tardiness falls short on the things she has to worry about now.

“That class mate of yours came an yelled at me that one of our pools were dirty so we had to drain the whole thing,”

“Let me guess, sausage hair?” Marinette raises a bow, it really being all the energy she can put into the action.

“Yes,”

“Sorry sir I’ll talk with her,” Marinette promises, she slips into the changing rooms as they grumble about lazy employees.

There is absolutely no way Marinette was going to talk to Lila. She enters the changing room, a shower running somewhere. She tucks Tikki and Kaalki into her bag, Tikki had insisted she relax today, recharge and get ready to find the miraculous. She couldn’t find enough will to argue not after having to wake up in the middle of the night to fight an Akuma back in Paris.

She slowly changes into a red and orange ruffled one piece swimwear. She honestly just wanted to take a nap in here, hide away from the class and the well meaning questions from her friends. Instead she drags herself towards the shower, they are all open and there's someone towards the back standing underneath the spray in their bathers.

Something fires back at her to be careful, it puts her on edge but with miraculously potentially loose in Gotham city it’s no wonder her instincts are screaming at her. Instead she steps under the spray hoping to loosen up.

She doesn't, after standing there for ten minutes she still can’t relax. Maybe it’s the cold water, maybe its the other person. The were still standing there, they had been in the shower even before she entered the changing room. Marinette peaks over, they are still standing still, with their arm out… the same way they had been ten minutes ago.

“Are you ok?” Marinette calls, no answer, not even a twitch.

Marinette creeps over. They are standing stock still, she can’t see evidence of them so much as breathing.

“Hello,” Her voice echoes off the tiles, not a noise in the empty room besides from the shower running.

She is right behind them, they haven't even moved, arm still raised. She walks around to see their face. Frozen in a look of concentration, not so much as blinking with water running into their eyes. She follows their eyeline to see them peeling off dead skin from their arm, stretching towards their fingertips. There's a faint glow of yellow all around them, concentrated at their back.

Marinette steps away, walking out the showers, she closes the nearest door to find herself in the pool area. Her friends are on the other side. Kagami is dunking Adrien as Chloe waves her over. Marinette sprints over to them.

“No running!” The life guard yells.

But that doesn't matter, all that matters is that there is someone using the bee miraculous for evil, she has to stop them before they get another Hawkmoth. They probably have the whole miracle box! She'll need the back up.

“Mari-”

“Come with me,” She doesn't let them have another question helping Adrien out of the pool.

She pulls them along despite Chloe's protests, pushing them through the door.

“Mari what's-”

“Hush now Buttercup,”

“You were serious?” Adrien gasps, Chloe just giggles.

“Yes,” She walks over to the frozen body, “Look at this,”

“Whats-” Chloe pokes them, immediately recoiling, “The fuck?”

“They’re frozen,” Kagami does the same.

“We have to help them,” Adrien waves in front of their face, looking on in horror.

“We have to hide them,” Chloe pokes them again, getting slapped away by Kagami.

“We have to find the culprit,” Marinette races at the idea that this could be the Bee miraculous.

“We’ll do all three,” Kagami decides, getting their attention, “Now first let's put them in a stall so we don’t alarm anyone or the villain, then we need to look for clues,"

They all nod, Marinette turns the water off. Adrien tries to move their arm to no avail.

“Looks like we have to carry them,” Adrien suggests, he and Marinette each taking an arm.

“Ew, no I’m not touching it Buttercup!” Chloe cringes away, backing up as Kagami lifts a leg off the ground.

“Has that really stuck?” Adrien asks Marinette, as Kagami sends Chloe a powerful enough death glare to get her to help.

“You bet Buttercup,” Marinette grins, as they shuffle through the changing rooms to the toilet stalls.

“Fine then, I’m calling you Cupcake,” Adrien teases, sticking out his tongue.

“As you wish Buttercup,”

“Someone get the door,” Kagami commands.

“I will!” Chloe lets go of the leg, the body becoming no heavier.

They manage to fit them inside the stall without too much hassle.

“Who could have done this?” Adrien looks on sadly at the person, tilted at a slight angle to fit into the stall.

“I’ve been thinking,” Marinette speaks up, “If this is a villain it doesn't make much sense to attack a random person, and if they were trying to be stealthy they would have hidden the body,”

“They aren’t dead!” Adrien says aghast.

“Exactly, why wouldn’t a villain just kill them?”

“That's very dark of you Cupcake,” Kagami says, missing Adrien’s pout, “What’s your theory?”

“This is likely a new villain, one not ready to kill,” Marinette decides, not even blinking at the nickname, “They have something against the pool, they probably want to ruin its reputation,”

“You did say that this was a very safe pool for Gotham,” Chloe closes the stall door, “Minimal murders, so why would someone want to ruin it?”

“Insurance? Sick of their job?” Marinette’s eyes go wide in realisation, “The pool!”

She darts out the changing room the others close on her heels.

“No Running!”

“Where are we going!?”

“The manager said they were refilling the pool,”

“Why- oh my god,” Chloe gasps, overtaking the lot of them, “Run faster!”

They burst into another pool room, the pool noticeable empty with diving boards on the other end. They run to the edge of the pool. A frozen body wearing employee uniform frozen at the bottom the water slowly rising.

“Get them out! Get them out!”

Marinette jumps down into the pool, causing a splash, the water is up to her ankles, barely a centimeter from covering the person at the bottom. She runs over and tries to pull them up. Kagami makes a splash behind her running over to help. They drag the person, frozen in horror the yellow focused on their chest instead. The pool is far too deep to climb out of so they pass the body up to Adrien and Chloe.

“Who would do this?!” Adrien can just reach them when Marinette and Kagami lift the person over their heads.

“I heard the manager mutter about lazy employees,” Marinette gives one last push, Chloe and Adrien pull them up over the edge.

“So we have a suspect,” Kagami says, water rising up her leg, “We should check their office next,”

“Well, they went from no murder to yes murder in record time,” Chloe huffs, the employee safely to the side.

“It’s concerning, but they may have more of a grudge against them than the other person,” Marinette points Kagami towards the ladder to get out.

“More evidence towards the manager,” Kagami nods, letting her up the ladder first, “We should choose codenames if the manager is potentially familiar with us,”

“They did have the class roster,” Marinette nods along, then grins, “You should be Teacup!”

“Fine by me,” Kagami nods, not showing how happy she truly is with the nickname.

“Oh I want to be-” Chloe cuts herself off head snapping towards the door.

They hear scratching at the door, everyone tenses. Marinette crouches in a position to defend her friends. The door slowly creeps open and… a little snout pokes through followed by the rest of the dog.

“Is this what you wanted to see Cuppy?” A person wearing a lifeguard uniform follows in a second later.

“Excuse me is your dog named Cuppy?” Marinette plasters on a fake smile quickly pulling a nearby towel over the body.

“Yes it’s a weird name I know,”

“No! It’s perfect! On another note could we please borrow your dog?”

“Um... sure?”

“Thank you, we have to go! Careful the pool is empty!” She calls as they race out the room, the person tucked away out of sight, “Come on Cuppy!”

"NO RUNNING!"

The dog wags its tail following them out the pool area and through the changing rooms. They come to stand outside the staffroom door, dripping water on the carpet.

“Everyone ready?” Marinette asks, hand on the door, they nod and Cuppy lets out an 'off', the door slowly creaks open.

Marinette looks through to see, nothing, the hallway is desolate and dark.

“It’s safe,”

“You call that safe?” Adrien pokes his head through the door, followed by Chloe and Kagami.

“Be brave Buttercup be brave,” With that Chloe pushes him into the corridor.

They creep along the empty hallway, footsteps echoing around them. The manager's office door could be seen at the end of the hall. Gold color plate glinting in the few stray beams of light filtering through. Marinette could feel every hair stand on end, danger seeming to lurk from every shadow in the dark hall. The pressure of something ready to pounce and immobilise them at any moment hung heavy in the air, dragging them down into a pressure that-

“HIC!”

Everyone jumps out of their skins, Adrien actually hits the ceiling, rubbing his head on the way down. Kagami draws her sword, Marinette falls into a defensive position.

“Hic!”

“Chloe!

“I’m sorry! Hic! It’s not like I can help it! Hic,”

“Thats it! You’re Hiccup!” Kagami snaps, Marinette tries not to snort.

‘What?!” Chloe screeches stamping her foot, “No way!”

“Deal with it and lower your voices!” Marinette shouts, Cuppy barks along, “Not you too Cuppy?”

Another yip

“Traitor,”

“Cupcake stop picking fights with the dog and lets move on,” Adrien implores, still rubbing his head.

Marinette rolls her eyes speed walking to the manager's office before the tension rises again. The reach outside the door, Marinette counts down to three on her fingers and they burst through the door.

Inside is silent, the bright light blinds them for a second, she shuffles in front of her friends acting as a shield, waiting for them to adjust. When she does she sees the desk chair is turned away, Cuppy pads forward Marinette doesn't grab his collar in time.

He starts licking someone's hand, Marinette creeps around the desk, waiting for the hand to snap out and grab her. The others follow, surrounding the chair preparing to come face to face with the villain. She peeks around the edge they are sitting there, she freezes the others following her lead. A beat, another one, nothing. They’re frozen.

“It’s not the manager,” She relaxes, patting Cuppy’s head.

She lets out a sigh, releasing all her tension.

BAM

Turning around the door is slammed shut, a striped villain standing before it. They all drop into a fighting stance watching for the stinger on their right hand. Cuppy starts wagging his tail, trying to approach the villain.

“Cuppy no,” Marinette grabs his harness, bringing the Pitbull back.

“He’s my therapy dog,” The villain growls, Cuppy wagging his tail happily.

“Not a very good one is he?” Chloe sneers, looking the villain wearing her stripes up and down with disgust.

“Wait, you’re the lifeguard at the pool?” Marinette gasps, maybe she really shouldn't have run, “Why did you-”

“I work here, you can’t imagine the horrors I face every day, people are disgusting,” The villain shudders, this was the guy who stole the miracle box?

“Yes, but murder?” Kagami gets a nod from Chloe and hissed at by Adrien.

“My co workers are completely useless and the boss always yells at me,” A sinister smirk crosses their face, “Or at least they did,”

“So you thought murder before you thought quitting ,” Adrien points out, probably not the best time to imply a villain is stupid.

“I didn’t kill anyone,”

“Ah yeah thanks to us!”

“Shut up!” They lash out at Chloe, stinging her in a single strike.

“Run!” Marinette shouts, they all scatter.

Marinette dodges the first swipe, ducking down. They get distracted by Kagami lashing out. Marinette darts around them to get closer to the door, Kagami gets hit. Marinette reaches the door the villain comes after her, they are inches away. Adrien leaps in front of her, getting stung. With the distraction Marinette bursts out the door Cuppy on her heels.

“Traitor,” She sprints down the hall, “Did you know?”

Cuppy happily pants beside her. She can hear the villain banging around the corridor behind her and runs faster. She dodges into a room around the corner, hiding among the pool noodles. She sees the shadow pass under the door. Pause. She holds her breath intently watching the shadow, she has no one, not even Tikki. He heart beat rises, she can feel her breaths shorten, this is it, this is it, this is it, this is-

Something nuzzles her hand, she looks down to see Cuppy. He starts to lick her hand, letting her relax into it, focusing on him as the shadow continues on. With a sigh Marinette starts to take off her skirt, flipping it inside out to the cape side.

“You aren't going to tell anyone about this are you?” Marinette asks Cuppy, right before pulling up her mask, he lets out a happy bark, “Good boy,”

She sneaks out the room, looking up and down the clear hallway. She walks the opposite way of the office. She doesn't need to see her friends paralysed, she just needs to help them, she just needs to fix her mistake.

She reaches the pool area, hiding behind a lounge chair, watching through the slats as the villain gathers everyone together. Starling sneaks closer, Cuppy on her heels. There are several civilians, locals if their calm demeanour is anything to go by, although they do seem uneasy at an unknown villain. Her class is significantly less calm.

She had told them time and again that there was no coming back in Gotham, no miraculous cure. It seems for once they had decided to listen to her. Unfortunately they did not do well under pressure. Lila of course was aggravating the situation, making empty threats. The villain reared up to silence her and man, Marinette could relate.

“I don’t suppose I can wait a minute can I?” She whispers to Cuppy, he settle a paw on her knee, letting out a quiet whine, “I guess that’s a no,”

She runs up behind the villain, signalling the civilians to be quiet. Lila looks down at her, anger flashing over her face. Starling bears her teeth right back, she can just try it. Lila ultimately decides her life is more precious than petty revenge, a hard choice for her to be sure.

Starling stands up to her full height behind the villain tapping them on the shoulder. They turn around in surprise, to find her dazzling smile. But the real thing that makes them see stars is her right hook. As the fall Starling rips the bee miraculously right out of their hair, their transformation falling. Marinette stands above them as they detransform, Pollen hiding behind her. It makes her stomach churn watching them detransform, looking up at her with fear. The twisting of her insides lessens when Cuppy nuzzles up next to her. She busies herself with hiding the miraculous away.

“It’s them!” Lila screeches, ah now she can get to that petty revenge, “The one that kidnapped me!”

“Look what you did,” Staling bites instead, looking down at the villain.

“I had nothing to do with this!” Starling is highly entertained when Cuppy growls at Lila, actually getting her to back off.

“Sure you didn’t,” Starling openly rolls their eyes, grabbing the villain and hauling them up by their shirt, "Where is the rest!"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" She scowls, making them whimper, guess they really didn't know,

Shit

"Where did you get this?" She holds up the miraculous.

"I found it! it was just lying out on the street!"

Shit

"Did you see any others?!"

"No!" the blubber swearing by it and begging for mercy.

Shit

The police sirens can now be heard, Starling drops them and runs from the room.

“NO RUNNING!” She turns on her heel and glares down at the villain, “... sorry, it’s a reflex,”

She nods running from the room to change, grabbing her bag with Tikki and Kaalki on the way. After a small celebration at finding another miraculous and reunion with Pollen, they have to make a plan to find the other miraculous. They are cut short when sirens are heard outside. She wears the Bee miraculous under her ponytail, to keep it hidden from view.

When she is ready she goes to find her friends. They are outside talking to the police. Marinette only gets the chance to signal she’s ok before being intercepted by officers to get her statement. When she’s retold her account of trying to find the pool freezer she is finally allowed to check on her friends.

“Hey Cupcake, glad to see you missed all the fun,” Chloe teases.

“Sorry Hiccup,” Marinette looks her in the eye deadly serious grasping each shoulder, “You were an adequate shield,”

“Shut it,” Chloe pushes her away playfully.

“Teacup, Buttercup are you alright?”

“It was nothing,” Kagami assures.

“Didn’t you guys think their powers were a lot like Queen Bees?”

“You would know Hiccup,” She nudges Chloe playfully, “If it was I think we should keep that to ourselves, wouldn't want that information somehow getting back to Hawkmoth,”

She looks purposefully towards Lila, the others nod along.

“Still some random person now might have the miraculous,” Chloe glares down at the ground, “Can we really trust this Starling person,”

I mean no I'm operating on negative six hours of sleep, but also yes

“I don’t think we have much other choice,”

“Marinette,” She freezes at that familiar, low gravelly voice.

“Batman, sir,” She adds, trying to look like someone who wasn't chased down by him yesterday, “How can I help you?”

“I heard you knew the most about this villain,” How did she get in trouble for interrogating Lila when this is how he talks to civilians.

“Not really I just found someone paralysed and tried to find the culprit,” Marinette shrugs, hoping her friends wouldn't point out that she is lying to The Batman.

“You didn’t call the police,”

Well thats a good point, not that I would have

“... To be honest it absolutely did not occur to me,”

“These abilities were spontaneous and now they seem to be gone,” Batman points out, damn he already knows too much, “Do you know what caused this?”

“I do not,”

“Very well,” Batman nods turning away, “Go to your class,”

“Yes sir,” Marinette walks away far too quickly.

How was she going to search the city with that hunting her down?!

--------------

Taglist

@smolplantmum @flufflepuffle296 @dawnwave16 @caffeinetheory @g-arya @Maribat-2k20 @ladybug-182 @Actual-disaster-human @fusser90 @messrs-weasley @soap-lady @paintedhope7 @zeneralla @mochegato @random-nerd-3 @clumsy-owl-4178 @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @too0bsessedformyowngood @certifiedbidisaster @Purplegeekypanda @awkward0ghostfan @theymakeupfairies @tikki-marinette @insane-fangirl-of-everything @elmokingkong @inarachi02 @slytherinhquinn @moongoddesskiana @dast218 @buginetye @redscarlet95 @biodad-bruce-month @hansa-12 @waiting247 @toodaloo-kangaroo @how-to-fuction-properly @trippingovermyfeet @greekmythgal @whatthefox22 @the-alice-of-hearts @bigpicklebananatree @indecisive-mess-named-me @nalu-ismyjam @deepestobservationwombat

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cali-holland · 5 years ago

Text

Forever and Ever, Prologue

Tom Holland X Osterfield!Reader, Wedding Series

As Tom thinks over the two most important questions he’ll ever ask in his life, he thinks back on the day that he met you, the day his life changed forever.

Warnings: sexual themes, swearing

Word Count: 2100

Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist

“I'm so in love with you

And I hope you know

Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold

We've come so far, my dear

Look how we've grown

And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go”

~ Say You Won’t Let Go, James Arthur

~~~

Tom’s leg shook anxiously as he mindlessly scrolled through his phone. Sat right beside him in the unusually quiet German airport was Harry, who could tell something was definitely off with his brother. Harry glanced over at Tom’s phone, but he was just on Instagram, looking at a random dog account, it was nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn’t until Tom started to bite his nails that the younger boy spoke up.

“Why are you acting like you’re going to explode?” He asked. Tom stared at his brother, brown eyes wide with his thumb nail still in his mouth. He dropped his hand from his lips and shut off his phone.

“Uh, um-“ He stuttered, unsure what to say about his nerves.

“Tom-“ Harry started, but he was quickly cut off.

“I’m asking Y/N to marry me.” Tom rushed out, and this time, it was his brother’s turn to have wide eyes.

“No way! Have you told Harrison yet?”

It was a simple question. It really was, and yet Tom felt his mouth dry up at the thought. Harrison was Tom’s best friend; he’d definitely be best man at the wedding, but Harrison was your older brother, and Tom didn’t know how to ask for his permission, even just asking to date you was awkward enough. His leg started to bounce uncontrollably again as he shifted in the uncomfortable chair.

“Not exactly?” Tom replied, and Harry looked at him suspiciously.

“You haven’t told Harrison?” He questioned.

“No.” He sighed, “I know I need to, but I just don’t know how. He’s my best friend, and I know he’ll let be supportive of me and of Y/N. It’s just-“

“It’s a big step.” Harry noted, patting his brother on the shoulder, “But you know he’ll let you, so that’s got to count for something?”

“It does. Right now, I’m more nervous about dealing with the ‘hey I wanna marry your sister’ talk than actually proposing.” He admitted, running a hand through his hair.

Their conversation paused as they heard the airline announce boarding, and the two of them got on the plane with ease. Sitting down beside Tom in an aisle seat, Harry reminded him, “I’ll be honest, I don’t know how much longer I can keep this a secret, so you have a week to tell him before I spill it. I’ve already told Sam.”

“When did you have time to do that?” Tom mumbled, and his brother smiled at him helplessly, pulling on headphones and a sleep mask, ready to sleep for the entirety of the flight, even though it wasn’t a redeye.

Meanwhile, Tom looked at his phone in his hands. His phone, and his heart, lit up as a text from you came through.

“Can’t wait to see you when you land! Love you!” it read, accompanied with several heart emojis. Smiling to himself, Tom typed out a response.

“Love you too! I’m counting down the minutes until I can hug you again!” and he even added the emojis to match yours. Tom let out a sigh when the stewardess called for all phones to be switched off as they prepared for take off. With his phone in airplane mode, he found himself on his photos app, thumbing through his favorite album, compiled with pictures of you, his favorite thing in the world.

The very first photo in the album was actually the very first picture of you two. Though neither of you knew it back then, it was one of the best days of his life, as well as one of the most embarrassing.

They say that you just know when you meet your other half, the love of your life. For Tom, that was very much true; the moment he laid eyes on you, he knew you’d make a lasting impact on his heart. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth for you.

It was your 17th birthday, and, like always, you and your twin brother, Harrison, had a joint party. He invited his friends, which included Tom, and you invited your own friends, including your crush from school. Tom had only been friends with Harrison for a few months, and he had no idea that his friend even had a twin sister.

So as everyone mingled around in your backyard under the colored lights from the patio, you found yourself occupied with Richard (to this day, Tom calls him Dick). Flicking your hair back, you let yourself flirt away with him, and he seemed to be getting into it as well. As he made a joke, you threw your head back in laughter— or well, in forced laughter because he wasn’t all that funny. With your eyes shut, you were completely unaware about the two boys running through the crowd. A body collided into yours and you lost your balance, falling into the pool behind you.

Even though he was the one who ran into you, Tom still blames it on Harrison, who managed to duck around you before Tom could, sending him crashing into you.

The party quieted down immediately as all eyes fell on you and your white dress in the pool. While Harrison couldn’t control his laughter at your embarrassment (like a true brother), Tom found himself frozen as he looked at you. He could still remember his heart thumping louder in his chest; he swore it was love at first sight. As you trudged your way to the stairs, Tom quickly shed himself of his jacket, thinking it’d be best to try to cover your now see-through material.

“Here.” He said to you as you stepped out of the pool, arms crossed over your chest. You eyed him for a moment, trying to see if he was serious, before you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him.

“Dumbass.” You muttered, walking past him and his jacket and into your house. Tom stood there, confused. Surely, you knew it was an accident and you knew he was trying to be chivalrous.

As the party continued around him, Tom shrugged his jacket back on and Harrison came up behind him, still laughing at the incident. “I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of that sooner.”

“What? Pushing a random girl into a pool?” Tom asked, and his friend raised his eyebrows at him in surprise.

“Mate, you realize that was Y/N, my twin sister.” The wide smile on his face did nothing to comfort Tom’s growing guilt and now the poor brunette was on the verge of a meltdown.

“That was your sister? This is her party, too?”

“I should’ve shoved her in that pool the moment Richard started chatting her up.” Harrison stated, putting an arm around his friend. “She’ll get over it.”

You didn’t get over it. You actually completely ignored his existence out of spite for nearly a year. But when you finally did get over it, Tom was glad you did.

The picture wasn’t even really a picture of you two. It was a group photo, taken by your mother after you had changed out of your soaking wet clothes. You stood in the middle of the group photograph, smiling beside Harrison, and Tom stood on the other side of his now best friend (Richard wasn’t in the photo anymore since Tom cropped him out). While it was subtle, Tom wasn’t even looking at the camera; instead, he was looking at you. Harrison loved to make fun of him for having “demon eyes”, but it was still a momentous photograph (which you actually loathed the picture because you didn’t like your damp hair in it).

As the flight took off, Tom busied himself on his laptop. With his phone connected to it, he moved over some of his favorite pictures of you, including the “horrendous” picture from your 17th birthday. He spent the next few hours piecing together the perfect slideshow, feeling his heart soar proudly as he worked on it. Though he still needed to ask Harrison for permission and still needed to get a ring, he figured now was as good a time as ever to work on his proposal plans.

He wasn’t really sure when he’d have an opportunity to talk to Harrison privately in the next week. When they land in London, they’ll be greeted by you and Harrison, probably Sam too, maybe even Paddy and his parents- he wasn’t too sure. Then, he’d spend the next week by your side, trying to get as many cuddles and kisses in as possible to make up for his time away.

The moment their plane landed and he switched his phone back onto its normal setting, a string of texts came through from the family group chat. Judging by the excessive congratulatory texts mixed with “why didn’t you tell us”, he knew Harry’s slip to Sam had gotten out. He could only hope Harrison didn’t know; it’d be a miracle if you didn’t know at this point.

As he left baggage claim with Harry, he looked for you along the pickup curb. He felt a bit disappointed when he spotted Harrison alone by his car, but then the nervousness settled in when he remembered the all important question he had to ask Harrison before he could ask you the other all important question.

“How was the flight?” Harrison asked with a bright smile, opening the trunk of his car for them.

“Slept for all of it.” Harry replied as he loaded up his luggage and Tom did the same.

“Good, just a flight. A normal flight.” Tom stated, a bit too suspiciously.

“You alright?” Harrison looked at him questioningly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” He answered defensively. With his things in the car, he made his way to the passenger seat and took a large gulp of his water, suddenly feeling dehydrated. Harry slid into the backseat, and Harrison made himself comfortable in his driver’s seat.

“I know Y/N said she was going to come, but she got dragged into a mandatory work meeting.” Harrison said, before either could ask about your absence. Tom didn’t answer, he just remained suspiciously quiet. Noticing this, the blonde spoke up, “You sure you’re fine?”

“I want-“ Tom started, before clearing his throat. He looked at his best friend beside him, nervously admitting, “I want to ask Y/N to marry me.”

Harrison was silent for a moment as he maneuvered the car out of the airport. It was probably only a few seconds that he was dead quiet, expression unreadable, but it felt like an eternity to Tom. “We’ll be brothers? Actual brothers?”

“Well, in-laws, but yeah.” Tom replied, still unsure if Harrison was okay with it. Before he could ask, the blonde reached over and punched him in the arm.

“You, dickhead, thinking I wouldn’t let you marry my sister. I thought something was seriously wrong with you.” He laughed.

“So, that’s a yes then?”

“Yes, it’s a yes. I better be the best man.”

“What about me?” Harry asked from the back. Harrison and Tom both turned around to look at him with mirrored raised eyebrows. “Alright, I get it.”

“Have you got the ring yet?” Harrison inquired, facing the road again to drive properly.

“I’ve looked at some, but I haven’t bought any yet. I know how I’m asking though.” Tom went off into a further explanation of his proposal idea. Needless to say, they were all excited about this.

The rest of the drive home was filled with proposal talk, and, when Harrison pulled up to the shared house, he let out a small sigh. “Okay, as much as I want to continue talking about this, maybe we should leave this conversation in the car.”

“Why?” Tom asked, confused by the suggestion.

“It’s nothing.” He shrugged in reply, helping them get their bags out of the car. Tom was just about to question it again when they stepped inside the house, but all thoughts about Harrison’s previous words were gone the moment the door opened.

“Surprise!” You cheered with Tuwaine and the rest of the Holland clan beside you, a ‘welcome home’ banner hanging on the wall behind you all. Tom dropped his bags and hugged you immediately. “Welcome home, baby.”

“I missed you so much, sweetheart.” He mumbled in your ear, before cupping your cheeks to kiss you, not particularly caring about the pda in front of his family.

“Yeah, we’re here, too. Thanks.” Sam piped up, having just greeted his twin with a hug.

“I’m not kissing you.” Tom laughed, before letting go of you to hug his brother and the rest of his family.

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up. I was busy planning all this.” You told him, once he came back to you, wrapping an arm around your waist casually.

“I love you. You’re the best.” He smiled at you, pulling you in for another kiss.

“I know.” You teased. Tom just looked at you with the fondest expression on his face, making you furrow your eyebrows at him, “Everything ok?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” He replied, brushing it off.

As he looked at you in his arms, he thought to himself. ‘This is absolutely the girl I want to marry.’

~~~

Tag List: @viagracex @theamazingtomholland @Hellomoveonby @heyitsshrez @harrisonosterfieldhazmyheart @joyleenl @t-o-m-hollands @lonikje @sleepybesson @sunkisseddreamer @hollandsamor @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @gorrillaglue23 @petersoftboyparker @musicalkeys @duskholland @biebsmylife95 @dummiesshort

Tom Holland Tag List: @quaksonhehe @tomkindholland

Series Tag List: @thefallenbibliophilequote

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland series

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charincharge · 5 years ago

Text

Cruel Summer, Part 24

cruel summer masterlist

AN: We’re almost at the end of this thing. One more chapter and an epilogue. Thank you all for sticking with me and this story. You make me feel like a Queen. Ok, without further ado...

All Rowan wanted was one Aelin-free day to wallow. He even called in sick for the first time in his entire gods damned life to accomplish it, but no – it seems the universe has other plans for him. He can’t escape her. Even on his day off, she manages to appear and twist the knife into his stomach a little further.

The door slams too loudly beneath his touch as he exits his truck, and Manon has the good sense not to ask him if he’s okay. He’s obviously not okay. And he knows when he’s been played. Manon specifically asked him to come inside to help with a drunk girl, not telling him said drunk girl was Aelin.

His chest tightens when he thinks about the way she backed into him to avoid that smarmy creep pawing at her, leaning into him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She belongs at his side. He knows she does. If only Aelin would admit that, too. If only she saw him as a viable option. A real partner.

Manon flashes him an apologetic smile, but Rowan simply shakes his head as his roommate and her girlfriend disappear behind her bedroom door.

Rowan should get to bed, too, but he slept all day in a depressed fit, and after seeing Aelin, he’s feeling far too agitated to sleep.

Instead, he pulls out his camera and hooks it up to his computer. He’d planned to do this earlier in the day, but instead of being productive during his day off, he slept the pain away. Rowan drums his fingers against his thigh as he waits for the machinery to connect. The photos upload quicker than he thought, and before he knows it, he’s scrolling through hundreds of photos. All of Aelin.

His front tooth nearly pierces the skin of his lip as he bites down onto it, as if by keeping his mouth shut he can hold back the onslaught of emotions threatening to bubble up from his tightened chest. He wishes he had a drink. He’s too sober for this.

Rowan scrolls through, wondering which photo he should edit first. He’s overwhelmed by each photo as is passes his vision. She’s so stunning. Her turquoise eyes pierce through the screen, and the spun gold of her hair glimmers in molten waves in each photo, no matter the lighting or photo composition. There’s a reason he couldn’t stop photographing her, and it’s because the camera loves her. He sighs loudly. He knows that’s not the only thing that loves her.

His heart thuds painfully against his ribs as he stops his scrolling. Because nestled in the swaths of photos of her, is a single photo of the two of them. It’s the only one they ever took. The entire summer. The only proof that they were actually together. That their relationship ever existed.

He’s hesitant to click on it, but he can’t stop himself. The enlarged picture hits him like a punch to the stomach. He remembers the night so clearly, wanting to cheer Aelin up and taking the first steps to have her reconcile with her family. He remembers how beautiful she looked in the buttery twilight with the beginnings of the setting sun behind her, reflecting the metallic ring around her dilated pupil. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, couldn’t resist leaning his face against the smooth skin of her shoulder, breathing in her floral scent and snapping a picture.

He’s knocked over by the way her eyes light up as they look at him, her smile nearly blinding. Joy oozes off the photo, jumping out of the screen, and despite his mood, Rowan can’t help loosen the tooth that pierces his bottom lip, release his feelings and smile. They did exist, and he’s never been more grateful for the tangible evidence. He wants to print this photo and frame it, no matter what happens in the future. He wants to remember them just like this. Wind-tousled and blissfully happy, attached at the hip and in disbelief that they could ever feel this kind of contentment with another person.

He works for an hour, adjusting the color levels and editing the photo. There’s something soothing about returning to the methodical process of changing the lighting and adjusting exposure, getting rid of shadows, until all that remains is a perfect shot of the two of them. By the time he’s finished, he feels somewhat better.

Rowan pauses, admiring his handiwork, impressed at how quickly his editing skills came back to him. He forgot how natural it is for him to sit at a computer. It’s his second language. Before he has time to second guess himself, Rowan opens up an email.

mailto: aelin.ashryver

sender: rwhitethorn

subject: (no subject)

I emptied my photo card and remembered you wanted this one. I have… a lot more of you if you want them. Just let me know.

He attaches the photo and immediately clicks send. He doesn’t want to reread what he said. He’s sure he sounds like an idiot, and he’s positive she doesn’t want the photo anymore, but he can’t not send it to her. He needs her to see it. To have that concrete proof, too. To remember them.

A sudden wave of exhaustion crashes over Rowan, and he glances at the clock. 4am. He groans. His alarm is going to go off far too soon. And he absolutely can’t call in sick again. He closes the laptop and places it next to him, and he’s asleep before he even has time to change out of his clothes.

His dreams are vivid, a whorl of colors and pictures and feelings. Unsurprisingly, everything is Aelin. He sees her on that dance floor, dark eyes pulling him in, her clothes like a second skin over her curves. He imagines himself with her, hips pressed together, arms tangled and pulling each other close enough to breathe the other in while the music pounds overhead. Their lips are like magnets, meeting again and again, without a care in the world for the busy club around them, not caring who sees or watches as her lipstick smudges all over his face. Her phantom hands caress his face, and he feels hot all over.

Rowan wakes in a tangle of his sheets, sweaty and breathless. He’s shocked to see he’s up before his alarm has gone off, a rarity, especially given how late he went to bed, but his adrenaline pulses through him, ensuring he’s solidly awake. He groans and opens his eyes, looking around his room, immediately snagging his sights on his closed laptop. He’s sure Aelin hasn’t emailed him back. It’s barely been four hours. She’s surely still sleeping off her hangover, but that doesn’t stop himself from opening the computer and checking.

His heart jumps when he sees an email waiting with the word Ashryver. But upon a second glance, it’s an email from a different Ashryver than he was expecting. His stomach knots as he reads the email. This can’t be good.

mailto: rowanwhitethorn

sender: evalinashryver

subject: Urgent – Meeting Today at 2PM

Rowan,

Apologies for the late notice, but your presence is requested for a one-on-one meeting today to discuss your employment. A work matter has been brought to our attention that requires immediate discussion. Your manager has been informed that you are to report to our home office for your lunch break at 2PM today.

Best,

Evalin Ashryver

Rowan reads the email three times, his pulse racing faster each time he rereads. An email from Aelin’s mom, wanting to discuss a work matter that requires immediate discussion? That can only mean one thing – the Ashryvers somehow know about his relationship with Aelin, and now with only four fucking days left of his employment, he’s going to be fired. As if the Ashryvers needed another reason to dislike him.

He groans loudly and lets his head fall to his keyboard in frustration. This is the last thing he needs. He’s already feeling awful. He doesn’t feel like defending his love life to the parents of the girl who just brutally discarded him. At least he can tell them in all honestly that things are over.

Rowan tries to take his time in the shower, hoping it’ll calm him down, but the warm water just makes him feel overheated in his own skin. He can’t bring himself to stand in the shower any longer, starting to feel ill. He brushes his wet hair and puts on his cleanest uniform before heading out of the house. The least he can do is look composed.

He arrives at the park a full thirty minutes before his shift. He walks into the employee room to make himself a cup of coffee; he’s going to need some extra caffeine today.

Lorcan and Elide are already in the kitchen, completely wrapped up in each other. Rowan laughs softly at them, the picture of perfect summer love – Lorcan’s hands in Elide’s back pockets, and Elide tugging at Lorcan’s neckline, impatiently trying to bring his lips down to her level.

The pair jumps apart quickly at the sound of Rowan’s laugh, but he waves them off, insisting he doesn’t mind. The smile drops off his face when Lorcan turns to him with a serious expression, though, reminding him of why he’s at the park so early, and what awaits him later today.

“You don’t know what she wants to talk about, do you?” Rowan ventures to ask, and Lorcan shakes his head.

“Sorry, man.”

Elide looks confused, and Rowan fills her in on the ominous email he received this morning. Elide’s brow furrows, trying to come up with an alternate reason that Evalin Ashryver would need to talk to him, but even the optimistic girl is at a loss.

Lorcan slaps his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “It’ll be okay.”

Rowan isn’t as confident.

Minutes feel like hours as Rowan spirals into dread mode. He spends the morning letting people onto the swings, but nothing is distracting enough to keep his mind off the impending conversation about his employment. Despite Rowan’s decision to move back to Wendlyn at the end of the moth, he’s calculated his move down to the last dollar and really needs this final paycheck. It’s not like he’s been able to save this summer. He’s barely made minimum wage. He spends the morning frowning away, lost in a maelstrom of possible outcomes of this conversation – each one worse than the last.

When 1:45 rolls around, Lorcan pulls Rowan off his shift and tells him to head to the Ashryvers’.

The sinking feeling returns to Rowan’s stomach when he checks his phone and sees that on top of everything, Aelin hasn’t replied to his email.

Instead of walking, Rowan gets into his truck and drives to the Ashryver Estate. He doesn’t want to risk getting sweaty and gross walking along the beach, and he definitely wants to be prompt.

For the first time all summer, Rowan parks at the head of the Ashryvers’ driveway. He takes in the large house, which suddenly looks scarier than ever. It’s funny. He’s been in this house about a hundred times since May, but it’s still as imposing as ever.

On the front stoop, Rowan pokes his toe at a loose stone and shoves his hands in his pockets. He doesn’t know what awaits him on the other side of that door, but he knows it’s not good. Sweat beads down the back of his thick uniform polo under the hot August sun overhead. He tugs at his collar, trying to give himself some room to breathe. But he’s finding it quite difficult. He’s been on the other side of this door plenty, but he can’t help but think of all the times he used Aelin’s window as his entrance. If her parents know about that... His stomach clenches with nausea. He’s kept Aelin’s secret, yes, but he’s been so incredibly disrespectful to her parents. He wasn’t brought up this way. His mom would absolutely smack him if she knew this was how he conducted himself this summer. He juts his chin out, ready for his chastising. He knows he deserves it. Rowan lifts his hand out of his pocket and hovers it over the thick wood paneling of their front door. If he waits any longer to knock, he’ll be late, and he knows arriving late to this meeting is the absolute worst thing he could do to Evalin Ashryver. Well, besides sleeping with her heiress daughter and sullying her good name. Rowan rubs his hand along his face. He is so utterly fucked. He can’t wait any longer. Rowan knocks steadily in three even raps. The door swings open, and Rowan swallows nervously as Aelin comes into view, looking worse for wear. He was expecting Evalin to answer the door, and Rowan feels even more off-balance at this twist. He doesn’t know why he didn’t expect Aelin. She looks even more surprised to see him, and Rowan doesn’t think he’s ever seen her so out of sorts.

She tugs at her tangled, unbrushed hair, which is falling out of her low ponytail, swollen eyes filled with confusion. Remnants of eyeliner and mascara darken her bottom lash, making her bloodshot eyes even more prominent, and her skin is pale and clammy. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she was very, very sick. He watches as Aelin pulls her robe closed tighter, hiding her thin tank top and shorts from his view. “Rowan?” She croaks, her voice barely a whisper between them, echoing in the marble foyer. “What are you doing here?”

Rowan looks down and takes note of her large furry slippers. He can’t help but smile.

“Those are cute,” he says, pointing at her feet, and Aelin’s nose scrunches up as she tries to hide one slipper behind the other.

She wipes at the dark circles under her eyes, and Rowan recognizes that she’s feeling self-conscious about the way she looks. Not that she should. Even hung over and disheveled, Aelin is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his life. He’s about to reassure her when Dorian ambles out of the kitchen, a foil wrapped food in hand.

“What’s up?” he asks, and Rowan shrugs tersely as Dorian wraps his arm around Aelin’s shoulders. Aelin looks up at Dorian, eyes wide and unblinking, clearly still out of sorts. “Your burrito is ready,” Dorian says in a soft aside, nudging Aelin in the ribs. She licks her chapped lips and gives him a small smile.

“Do you want some lunch?” Aelin asks Rowan, her words filled with nerves. Rowan is anxious to talk to Aelin, of course, but he remembers that he’s not here to chat with her and steadies himself as he shakes his head. Rowan thinks she looks disappointed, but he can’t be quite sure.

“I’m actually here for a meeting. With your mom,” he clarifies. “Is she around?”

Aelin’s mouth drops into a soft circle as she begins to ask why. He’s about to answer her and maybe ask for any intel or advice when Evalin appears, looking even more austere than usual in a dark blue dress, her hair neatly pinned back in a perfectly coiffed chignon and a strand of pearls around her neck. Her heels click clack along the marble floor until she reaches Rowan. She greets him with a warm hug and a wide smile. “Rowan. Right on time.” She squeezes his arm lightly. “Let’s chat in my office, okay?” she says firmly, and Rowan has no choice but to nod. Aelin clearly doesn’t know what’s going on and looks as confused as ever. “Mom?” “Aelin,” Evalin chides. “When you finish your …” she pauses dramatically and nods at the foil in Dorian’s hands. “…breakfast, can you please go take a shower? I can still smell the vodka coming off your skin.” “But...” Evalin’s glare silences her daughter immediately, but it doesn’t wipe the look of confusion from her questioning face as she nods. Satisfied, Evalin leads Rowan into her office. Rowan remembers the room well from his tour with Aelin all those weeks ago, but it somehow seems even more daunting now. It’s clear the room is rarely used, despite the armchair by the window and the large mahogany desk at the center of the room. Rowan looks up and up and up. The built-in bookcases threaten to swallow him hole, with bindings going up to the ceiling. Evalin trails slowly to the desk and leans against the edge, rather than sitting in the large high-backed chair behind it. She points to a smaller chair for Rowan to sit in, and he takes his place immediately. Evalin’s face is tight with a forced smile, and he's sure any second now he’s going to receive a verbal lashing.

“So,” she begins, and Rowan sits up straighter. “It’s my understanding that your last day at the park is on Saturday,” Evalin says, and Rowan nods, his throat too tight to verbally respond. The room creaks and settles, the dark wooden floors also seemingly holding its breath to see what Evalin has to say.

Evalin pauses and holds a single finger up. Rowan watches with interest as she walks to the far bookcase and pushes slightly. The wall cracks open, and Rowan remembers the number of secret passageways and hallways Aelin led him through in their tour. So, he’s not entirely surprised to see Aelin and Dorian, crouching in the entryway of the hidden tunnel.

“Children,” Evalin scolds, and Aelin and Dorian are quick to scramble to their feet.

“Mom…” Aelin peers over her shoulder, trying to get a better look at where Rowan sits, but Evalin isn’t having any of it.

“Rowan and I are in a private meeting right now,” she says. Aelin looks like she wants to object, but Evalin pays her no mind. “No one likes a snoop.” She ushers them into the study and leads them toward the door without a word.

“I swear, she has super-sonic hearing,” Dorian mumbles, and Evalin smiles.

“I do,” she says, causing Dorian to blush. Rowan doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so flustered. It would be amusing if he weren’t sure he was about to be on the receiving end of Evalin’s wrath himself.

“Don’t let me catch you back there again,” she says sternly, and Dorian and Aelin reply with yes ma’ams in unison. Aelin looks over her shoulder one last time at Rowan before departing, and Rowan wants nothing more than to chase after her, but he’s stuck in his chair.

Evalin returns to her spot, leaning against the desk and crosses her arms. “Now. Where were we?” Rowan waits in silence. “Oh yes. Your employment coming to an end.”

Rowan’s stomach sinks. He’s about to get fired. He feels like he has to speak up, defend himself. But he’s not exactly sure what to say. So, he just babbles.

“Mrs. Ashryver, Evalin, ma’am…” He tugs at his hair, trying to work out his nerves, and barrels forward. “I’m so sorry if I’ve disrespected you or your family. It wasn’t my intention at all, but I would really love to finish out the week at Playland. I know I’ve overstepped my bounds, but I promise it won’t happen again. Ever.”

Evalin quirks her eyebrow at him and nods succinctly. “I understand why you would think you overstepped your bounds,” she says. “But, you didn’t.”

Rowan pauses, holding his breath. “I didn’t?”

“No. In fact, I was discussing it with Rhoe, and we both very much appreciate your initiative.”

Rowan lifts an eyebrow in confusion. “You do?”

Evalin laughs warmly, her smile reminding him so much of Aelin suddenly as her turquoise eyes crinkle with happiness. “Yes.” She crosses her ankles and leans forward.

Rowan pauses again and crosses his arms. “I think I’m confused,” Rowan finally admits, and Evalin laughs even more.

“I can see that.”

“So I’m not getting fired?” Rowan asks hesitantly, and then it’s Evalin’s turn to look confused.

“Fired? What on earth for?” She shakes her head. “No, of course not.”

His brow furrows. “So, what are we talking about?”

“Are you still interested in pursuing a career in tech?” Rowan nods slightly, his thoughts bouncing around and wondering what the hell Evalin actually wants to talk about. If not Aelin… “I have an opportunity for you.”

Evalin pulls out a packet of papers from behind her on the desk and hands it to Rowan. He looks over the printout and then looks back up at Evalin, who is still smiling at him.

“I brought your app idea to the Playland board, and they were very impressed. They’re going to start a development team. It was a smart idea,” she chuckles. “In fact, I’m annoyed with myself that I didn’t think of it first.” He looks over the papers in his hand again. It’s the breakdown of the app he pitched over dinner. He can’t believe it. Evalin clears her throat. “I don’t know what your employment plans are beyond Sunday, but we’d love for you to join the team.”

Rowan’s mouth drops. He’s actually speechless. Of all the things to he could talk about with Evalin Ashryver, this didn’t even make it to the bottom of the list. Never in his wildest dreams did he think she would take his idea seriously, much less pitch it to the board and then offer him a job there. His stomach churns slightly.

“The only catch is—” Rowan holds his breath as he wonders what the strings attached to this offer are. “The job starts in two weeks, and it would be in our offices in Adarlan.”

Rowan exhales, an onslaught of feelings attacking him. He can’t process what she’s just said.

“Adarlan….”

Evalin nods. “I understand that it would be a significant move, but we’d help with the relocation costs, and—”

Rowan stops her, thinking about showing up in Adarlan in two weeks, the place where Aelin lives. An awful thought crosses his mind.

“You’re not just offering this to me because I’m… friends with Aelin, are you?” he asks nervously. “I don’t want to take a job I haven’t earned.”

Evalin frowns and pats at her pearls. “Rowan, you have more than earned your spot on this team. It was your idea. But if it makes you more comfortable, you can interview with the head of the team. He’s meeting with a few other candidates in the next few days. I’ll tell him to add you to the list.”

Rowan nods. “I’d like that.”

“Excellent,” Evalin claps her hands happily. “Look out for an email from Malakai or his assistant to schedule the interview for this week. In the meantime, please send me your resume, so I can forward it along.” She pauses and looks at Rowan seriously. “Now, would you care to tell me why you thought you were being fired?”

Rowan coughs, and he can fill blood filling his cheeks with embarrassment. “Not particularly,” he mumbles.

Evalin chuckles again and sighs loudly. “I’m sorry if my email was scary,” she apologizes. “I didn’t want to give away the surprise, but now that I think about the wording, I may have misled you.”

“It may have taken a few years off my life,” Rowan says, causing Evalin to burst into laughter. “But thank you,” he continues, “I’m incredibly grateful for this opportunity.”

The study door cracks open and Rhoe pokes his head in. “Ah, did I miss it?” he asks, entering and clicking the door shut behind him. Evalin rolls her eyes at her husband.

“You did.” She looks at her watch and then back at him. “I told you. 2pm, promptly.”

“I got distracted by burritos,” Rhoe admits, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Who knew Dorian was such a good chef?” He pauses and looks at Rowan. “So, did the Ashryvers recruit a new coder?”

“Not officially,” Evalin answers for him. “Rowan, ever the humble and upstanding young man, has insisted upon an interview.”

“Ah, of course,” Rhoe says with a soft smile. “I told you he wouldn’t just accept a job offer.”

Evalin’s eyes twinkle at her husband. “Yes, I know. You know everything, darling.”

She kisses him lightly on his cheek before looking back at Rowan.

“Alright, well, I have other meetings to attend to, sadly,” Evalin says, “But I look forward to hearing about your interview.” She shakes Rowan’s hand firmly and heads out of the study. Rowan starts to follow her, but Rhoe holds him back for a second.

“I just wanted to thank you,” Rhoe says, and Rowan is immediately caught off-guard.

“For what, sir?”

“Don’t look so shellshocked, Rowan,” he says with a soft laugh. “We’ve loved getting to know you this summer. Having you around has been a treat. I know it must be hard to be away from your own parents, on the other side of the country. But, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you how proud of yourself you should be. This app was a phenomenal idea. You’ve proven yourself to be intelligent, driven and…” Rowan can feel heat rising to his cheeks at Rhoe’s praise. He watches carefully as Rhoe pauses and lowers his voice, looking around conspiratorially. “And… don’t think I don’t know who’s kept that smile on my daughter’s face all summer.”

Rowan’s heart thumps in his chest. Rhoe knows. Oh god. Rhoe knows.

“I…uh…what?” Rowan stutters, unsure of how to respond. Luckily, Rhoe laughs and slaps a hand onto Rowan’s shoulder.

“Don’t look so petrified, son. I’m happy for you both.” Rhoe looks sincere, but Rowan’s stomach clenches at an awful thought.

“That’s not why you offered me this job, is it?” Rowan asks softly. He has to know. He won’t take it, won’t even interview for it if they’re offering it to him because of his relationship with Aelin.

“No no no,” Rhoe assures him. “My wife is not the most observant human on the planet. She has no clue. You and Aelin can tell her whenever you’re ready.”

Rowan rubs his hand against the back of his neck, needing something to do. “Well.” He coughs lightly. “I don’t think there’s anything to tell anymore.”

“That’s a shame,” Rhoe says, his voice sad but a small smile making an appearance on his face. Rowan wonders what Rhoe knows that he doesn’t. But he’s too overwhelmed to think about that just yet.

“Thank you for this opportunity,” Rowan says again, and he means it.

Rhoe shrugs him off. “I did nothing. This was all Evalin,” he says with a smile. “And, Rowan? You created this opportunity all yourself.”

Rowan nods and smiles stiffly as Rhoe leads him back out to the foyer.

A freshly showered Aelin sits on the stairs, finishing her final bite of burrito, and she stands quickly upon seeing her dad and Rowan. Rhoe pats her head as he passes by, giving Rowan a sly smile.

“So,” she says, and Rowan replies with the same sentiment. “Are you going to tell me what that was all about?” she asks.

Rowan wants to tell her. He really does. But he’s too overwhelmed with possibilities at the moment. He doesn’t want to tell her anything that isn’t real. He can’t risk seeing her reaction to this news. Not when it could possibly break him.

“It was nothing,” Rowan says, and Aelin’s brow furrows, knowing he’s lying to her. I mean, he had a legit meeting with her parents. And no one has told her a thing. He knows she’s dying for information, but he just can’t tell her anything yet. “Where’s Dorian?” he asks, trying to change the topic.

“Showering,” she says, flicking her eyes upwards to the ceiling. “Do you want a burrito? They’re amazing…” she asks, but Rowan shakes his head.

“I should get back to work,” he says, looking at the time. He can’t believe how long they were in there talking.

“Right.” Aelin sighs and follows him to the door. “Hey, Rowan?” she says, stopping Rowan before he reaches for the door handle. “Thanks for last night,” she says. “For rescuing me.” He nods stiffly. “I know that wasn’t your idea of a good night.” He shakes his head, laughing softly. No it wasn’t. “And Rowan? The picture? Thank you for sending it,” she says quietly. “I love it.”

Rowan smiles. “I do, too.”

Aelin bites her lip and twirls her long, wet hair around her fist. “You’re really not going to tell me what my parents talked to you about?”

“Nope.”

“You’re torturing me on purpose,” she says, and Rowan laughs.

“Maybe.”

He averts his eyes, not wanting to look at her, knowing he could break at any second. But Aelin seems to accept his reticence.

Aelin sighs. “I deserve that.”

Rowan wants nothing more than to talk with her and tell her everything, ask what he should do, what it would mean for them, but he knows he needs to think about this without her input.

“Ok, I really need to leave or I’m going to be late,” he says, and Aelin gasps.

“Right! Of course. Go.”

Rowan leans in to her hug her, on autopilot, without even thinking about it. And he can feel Aelin’s sharp inhale of breath as he wraps his arms around her shoulders and mindlessly brushes his lips against the top of her head.

“Sorry…” he says, pulling back quickly.

“It’s fine,” she chokes out, and Rowan flees the premises before she can say anything else.

By the time he gets back to work, Rowan’s imagination has run off without him. He can’t help but think of all the ways his life would change if he were to take this job in Adarlan. Would he be able to pursue Aelin, even if he was still working for her mother? Would they have to tell her mom? Clearly her dad knows, but for some reason, Rowan thinks he’s more amiable to the idea of Rowan than Evalin is. Or, was this whole job opportunity a ruse to get him to be a more acceptable partner for Aelin, one they wouldn’t be ashamed of? Doubts and confusion plague his thoughts as he rips tickets.

When Rowan receives the email from Malakai’s assistant later that night, asking to interview the following afternoon, Rowan is more unsure than before.

So, Rowan does what he should have done as soon as Aelin ended things with him, he calls his mom to tell her everything.

Dora wakes from an early evening nap to answer his call, and Rowan immediately feels guilty, but Dora is more than happy to talk to her son. He explains his situation to her, getting more and more tied up in his emotions as he goes, and when he finishes, Dora is silent on the other line.

“Mom?” he asks, and Dora sighs loudly.

“My sweet boy,” she clucks. “You know I would love nothing more than to have you back home with me, but… you need to do this.” She pauses. “No matter what happens with Aelin, this is the beginning of your career. With an app you thought of yourself and are going to get made. Rhoe was right. You should be very proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you.”

“Doesn’t it feel like cheating though?” Rowan asks. “Like if I hadn’t been seeing Aelin, I never would have gotten this chance, and I’d be moving home with you.”

“Baby,” she laughs. “That isn’t cheating. It’s called networking. And yes, you were in the right place at the right time, but it doesn’t make you any less deserving of this. You deserve this so much.”

Rowan sighs. “But…what if Aelin gets upset that I followed her back to her hometown. I’ll feel like a crazy pathetic stalker.”

“Fuck what Aelin thinks.”

“Mom!” he says with a laugh. He’s never heard her swear so casually before.

“This is about you. And she should support you, even if she doesn’t want to date you.”

Rowan hesitantly agrees. It’s not like Aelin works for her parents. In fact, she’s told him many times she never wants to, and hates going into the Ashryver offices. And Adarlan is a big city. The chances of him accidentally running into her are slim.

Feeling slightly appeased, Rowan thanks his mom and preps for his interview. His feelings for Aelin aside, he wants this. He just hopes he can start believing he deserves it, too.

~*~*~*~

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#rowaelin #aelin x rowan #cruel summer au #amusement park au #charincharge writes

254 notes · View notes

luke-patterson-owns-my-soul · 5 years ago

Text

The Intern

The Intern: A Luke x Reader One Shot

Luke Patterson x Reader

Title: The Intern

Words: 2,755

Summary:, Sunset Curve are posing for the photos for their new album. Y/N is the photographer’s intern who catches Luke’s eye.

TW: None

Author’s notes: This idea popped into my head after Charlie posted the photo of him being photographed. It kinda got away from me and went on a bit of a tangent, but I quite liked the outcome. I hope you do too.

“Guys, this way please. That’s right, just there. Perfect.”

Your boss, Caleb Covington, photographer to the stars, filled the large studio with his vibrant voice and even more vibrant clothing choices as you sit behind the laptop making sure the shots coming through are suitable for use.

All you’ve ever wanted is to be a photographer, and this internship was the first step on the ladder to the career of your dreams.

“Hey, Y/N, can you do me a favor sweetheart?” You stand and walk over to where Caleb is adjusting the lighting as the guys of Sunset Curve go for an outfit change.

“What’s up, boss?”

“There’s a thrift store a block over can you run over and grab whatever scarves they have?” He hands you a handful of money. This was common, Caleb would start a shoot, get hit with a vision, and then send you off to chase down obscure props. “Also, as many fake flowers as you can. I’ll make sure everyone takes a lunch break while you’re out, so you don’t need to rush.”

“Sure thing. Give me an hour?”

“Take your time.” Caleb reattached the camera to the tripod in front of him. “Also, take the small canon with you. There’s some great street art that could be used for these guys.”

“Thanks, boss.”

You grab the bag containing a small point and click camera and shoulder the strap. As you leave the studio, you realize how supportive Caleb is of your dreams despite the bad rumors that are constantly floating around about him. He’s never given you occasion to doubt him and he allows you to use the equipment in the studio whenever you want, and often encourages you to take photos from behind the scenes.

Walking along the sunny New York streets, you take photos of the amazing architecture and as you near the thrift store, you see the street art Caleb told you about. It’s gorgeous. Six feet tall, bright blue angel wings cover a brick wall and you take a few shots, change angles and take some more. Eventually, you lower the camera and enter the thrift store.

Within ten minutes, you have a bagful of scarves and a handful of fake flowers and are ready to head back, not before stopping off at your favorite delicatessen to buy your lunch.

Back at the studio, Caleb and the guys are sitting around a round table, chatting.

“Where do you want these, Caleb?” You ask waving the flowers at him.

“Oh great you’re back. Just hand them over to Kayla in props, we’ll work out what to do with them after lunch. Come and join us.”

It wasn’t very often Caleb invited you to mix with his clients, so you jump at the chance. You pull out a chair and sit down as Caleb introduces you to the four guys that are around your age.

“Y/N, this is Reggie, Bobby, Alex, and Luke.” Each of the guys give her a wave in greeting, but there’s something about the last guy, Luke, that has you locking eyes with him for a moment. With a cough, you look away and take a bite of your sandwich, but you can still feel his hazel eyes on you.

:: ::

Once lunch is over, the guys head back into make-up for a touch up while Caleb rearranges the while space, placing the flowers you bought around the space. The scarves are hung in the window, which is opened to let in a breeze, moving the material in waves.

As he works, you upload the photos of the street art you took and begin to edit them.

“Wow, those are amazing.” A voice behind you makes you jump. Turning around, you see Luke staring at the screen in front of you. “Did you take those?”

“Yeah, I did. Thanks.”

“Y/N, are those street art shots ready yet?” Caleb calls out as he walks over to join you and Luke. “Oh, honey. These are fantastic and will look amazing as a backdrop for the guys.” He turns to Luke. “What do you think?”

“Hell yeah. This album cover is gonna be gnarly.”

You feel your face heat up from the blush that’s creeping over your skin at the compliments you’re not used to receiving. Feeling somewhat embarrassed, you turn away and focus back on the screen, allowing the sounds around you to fade into a pleasant buzz as you work.

“Girl, you have an admirer.” Flynn the make-up artist Caleb always uses creeps up behind you.

“What are you talking about?” you ask, trying to concentrate, but the guys of Sunset Curve are in your direct eyeline above the lip of the open laptop and they all look amazing.

“That guy, Luke. He can’t stop looking at you.” At her words, you can’t help but look over at him where he’s standing on a windowsill, made into a silhouette by the sunlight flooding through the glass behind him. You lock eyes for longer than is necessary. “Oh, you like him…” Flynn nudges your shoulder with hers.

“Shut up,” you hiss, worried people will hear her.

“Nuh uh. I’m making the most of this. Can I just say, the guy smells gorgeous?” With a laugh, Flynn retreats back to her corner of the studio and begins packing up her equipment. You watch her and when she turns to wave at you, you can’t help but flip her off, making her laugh even harder.

As the day draws to an end, you’ve packed away all of Caleb’s gear and locked it in the huge safe in his office, apart from the camera he’s been using all day. Sunset Curve are with Flynn having make-up removed and have changed back into their own clothes.

As you and Caleb upload the photos to his laptop, you can’t help but stare at Luke’s bare arms exposed by the cut off band tee he’s wearing.

“I’m just gonna grab some air, boss.” You tell Caleb, suddenly needing to be out of the studio.

“Why don’t you call it a day? I can finish up with these later this evening.”

With a grin, you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before going to grab your bag.

“Hey, Y/N,” Flynn called out from her corner. So much for a quick escape. You head over to where she’s putting the last of her stuff away in her huge case on wheels.

“What’s up?” You ask, feeling four pairs of eyes on you as you approach Flynn, avoiding looking at the guys watching you.

“Are we going for a drink?” she asks you, finally looking up at you.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on it.” Immediately, you regret saying the words as Flynn’s face screws up. It’s Friday, you’ve both been working crazy hours for Caleb, and you know you both need to let off steam.

“Oh, come onnnnnn. Julie’s meeting us.” Julie, the third in your trio of friends, worked as a studio musician nearby. “First round of shots is on me.” Flynn was in wheedle mode and knew you couldn’t resist. You heard chuckles from behind you and turned to look at Sunset curve seemingly enjoying the show. You’d forgotten they were there and felt your blush return.

“Oh, go on then, but I need to go home and get changed. I’ve been in these clothes all day.”

“Honey, no. You forget where we work.” Flynn grabbed your hand and pulled you behind a changing screen where an outfit was already laid out for you.

“This looks suspiciously li-” Flynn held a slender finger against your lips.

“Just get changed.” She disappeared, leaving you alone, You could hear her chatting as you pulled your clothes off and pulled on the ones she’d picked out for you, knowing there was no way she’d let you get away with wearing anything else. As you pulled on the cut off band tee, you were glad you wore on of your favorite bras – a black lacy number – as the arm holes were crazy huge.

The skinny jeans had been rolled, but because you had on heavy duty combat boots, you unrolled them then pulled your boots on.

“You look great.” Flynn reappeared, armed with a few essentials. With a sigh you let her attack your face with eyeliner, mascara, and a bright red lipstick. “Perfect, even if I do say so myself. Fluff up your hair, then get your booty out here.”

When you finally emerged from behind the screen, the conversation between Flynn and Sunset Curve – why were they still even there? – paused as all five of them turned to look at you. Reggie, at least you thought that was his name. Beyond Luke, you were a bit fuzzy, let out a low whistle.

“Dang, girl.”

“I hate you.” You hissed under your breath at Flynn who was grinning like a fool.

“No you don’t.” She linked arms with you and led the six of you out of the building.

“You could have told me you’d invited them.” You spoke softly so you weren’t overheard.

“Would you have come if I had?”

“Probably not.”

“That’s why. Now, I need to call Julie, make sure she’s on her way.” Letting go of your arm, Flynn pulled her cell out of her bag and held it up to her ear.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Luke appeared next to you. Flynn had been right he did smell good.

“Yeah, I’m good. I was looking forward to a long bath, but Flynn likes to get her own way.”

“I noticed.” Luke laughed as the girl in question linked arms with Reggie and Alex behind them. “She’s a force of nature, huh?”

“She’s something alright, I’ll decide later once I’ve had a few drinks.” He laughed again.

They arrived at their favorite bar where Julie was waiting outside for them.

“Y/N, you look amazing.” She soke as she hugged you.

“Thanks, I’ve been ‘Flynned’”

Flynn rolled her eyes as she made introductions as they entered the bar. Instantly, the smell of beer and floor polish assaulted your nose and you felt yourself relax. This bar had been like the fourth friend to you, Julie, and Flynn while you’d all been at college.

“Shots?” Flynn asked, making her way to the bar while the rest of you found a booth big enough for all of you.

“Shots, and lots of them.” You called out as you slid in, Luke following you, his firm thigh pressing against yours, heat flooding through you.

:: ::

A few hours later, you’re nicely buzzed from the alcohol and when the music starts, you drag Julie and Flynn out of the booth and onto the small dance floor in the corner of the bar.

For most of the night, the seven of you have been chatting about nothing in particular, and you couldn’t help but be hyper aware of how close Luke was sitting next to you and how much attention he paid you as you spoke.

“Girl, you and Luke. That’s some chemistry going on.” Julie spoke loudly over the music. Automatically, you look over at the booth where you see Luke watching you while his friends are talking amongst themselves. It isn’t unpleasant being watched by a guy that good looking.

“Right? I saw it earlier and had to sort out this little excursion.” You glared at Flynn playfully as the three of you moved to the music surrounding you.

“Oh, Nick’s here.” Julie ran off the dance floor and leaped into her boyfriend’s arms, peppering him with drunken kisses. You and Flynn grin at one another at the display. Usually, Julie was more subdued, but tequila had a habit of helping her lose her inhibitions.

“Ten bucks that they leave within five minutes.” You say to Flynn who laughs and gives you a high five. True to form, less than four minutes later, Julie waves her goodbyes and leaves hand in hand with Nick. Flynn hands you the money which you tuck into your pocket.

“I need the bathroom. I’ll be back.” Flynn slides away, leaving you to dance alone. It doesn’t bother you feel the beat of the music throughout your entire body.

Looking back over at the booth, you see Luke is sitting alone, still watching you. You can’t help but smile at him as the song changes from something upbeat to soft and slow. People begin to leave the area around you and you look around for Flynn, unable to see her.

“She bailed.” Luke spoke directly into your ear, his breath warm against your skin. It makes you shiver, and the feeling isn’t exactly unpleasant.

“Of course she did.” You groan, thankful for the bet you won which should just about cover an uber home.

“I guess I should do the same, then.” You can’t help but look up into Luke’s eyes, still swaying to the music – or is that due to the tequila?

“Before you go, can I have this dance?” he asks. Nodding, you step into his arms, noticing how firm and warm they are wrapped around your waist. Your own arms snake around his neck and the two of you move to the sounds of Ed Sheeran singing about his Perfect girlfriend.

“I never expected you to dance like this.” You say to Luke, not quite sure where it comes from.

“It’s easy with the right partner.” He smiles down at you, making your heart feel as if it’s about to short circuit. He really does have a pretty smile.

“Smooth talker.” Is all you can think of in response as you both continue to sway. As the song comes to an end, you reluctantly pull yourself out of Luke’s arms. “I guess I should call an uber.” You murmur, not moving off the dancefloor, enjoying the feel of Luke’s bright eyes on you.

“Sure.” He doesn’t move either. “Wait, how far do you live? Maybe we can share one?”

“Four blocks.” You shrug.

“How about we walk? Why pay for an uber for a ten to twenty minute walk?” He wasn’t wrong, but you rarely walked the streets alone after a night of drinking.

It’s cool, but not cold when you both step outside, the doorman giving you the thumbs up, making you roll your eyes.

“You don’t have to do this.” You tell Luke.

“Y/N, I want to.” He holds out his hand for you to take hold of. You oblige, a jolt of electricity running up your arm. “Which way?”

You start walking in the direction of the apartment you share with Flynn, Luke falling into step next to you, still holding your hand. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you, and you keep your gaze in front of you. The feel of Luke’s hand clutching yours is sending your body into overdrive and your brain doesn’t quite now how to process it.

Sooner than you’d like, you stop outside your building.

“This is me.” You can hear the disappointment in your own voice and see a flash of something on Luke’s face.

“Well, I guess I should say goodnight then.” He says, his voice soft, almost a whisper.

“Maybe you should.” Neither of you have released the other’s hand. You simply stand on the sidewalk, looking at one another.

Your brain is screaming at you that you don’t know this guy, that you only just met him, but your heart is telling you to do something to stop him walking away. It’s been a while since you’ve had this kind of connection with someone and it’s been even longer since you brought a guy back to the apartment,

The pink tip of Luke’s tongue pokes out and runs around his plump lips, attracting your attention. His deep chuckle makes you aware he knows you’re thinking about more than saying goodbye. Without a word, he bends his head and places a gentle kiss against your lips.

Before it started, it was over, and he pulled away. Using the hand not holding yours, he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out his cell.

“Can I get your number?”

You enter your number into his phone before he places another soft kiss on your lips, lets go of your hand, and begins to walk back in the direction you came from.

“Hey, Luke?” you call out, trying not to worry about the morning. He turns to face you, a question in his eyes. “Want to come up… for coffee?”

#jatp #jatp fic #luke patterson #luke x reader #one shot #fanfiction #Flynn #Reggie #Alex #Julie #Nick #Original character #Mich writes fic

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all-things-fic · 6 years ago

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With This Ring

A/N: Thank you to everyone for bearing with my through my severe writing drought. It was a bizarre one. Praise Gucci and Harry Styles for their love of striped t-shirts, dreamy photoshoots and photo booth pictures that we all wish we had actual copies of to slip in the backs of our purses to have some graciously point out in the local shop how handsome our boyfriend is.

If you haven’t cottoned on I’m talking about the Harry photo booth pictures that came for all our throats. Without furher ado, here it is. Wedding!Harry, in Italy. All 12k of it. Flirtatious and every inch the delectable fiancé and husband we all know he’s going to be.

Massive shoutout to my girl @waitingfortwilight for her beta-ing. Spacing is going to be an issue so I apologise in advance!

We can unhit the pause button now. Loads of love xx

***

The way you aimlessly strolled down the winding alleys of Florence, giggling at how your fiance swung your hands gently between the two of you was sickly sweet. You knew you were smug, just as much as he was today. Two days away from the best day of your lives and enjoying the way you took in the build up, together. Harry’s light cream loafers tapped gently against the cobbles beneath your feet as he walked heavy-footed against the incline of the pathway and chewed tightly on his chewing gum. He looked every inch the attractive man, in love and ready to get married, as he was. You revelled in watching him, his side profile and jawline that sometimes would become soft as he’d put his head down while you walked; feeling your eyes admiring him.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t been doing the same with you. Returning the favour was the least you could do. The minute he changed the direction you were walking in, you knew he had spotted something. Harry’s entire demeanour since you had arrived in Florence had been slow. Well, slow for him. While there had still been a slight edge to his movements, from excitement and nervousness as the days went by and brought you closer to your big day, he had never once faltered in his activated holiday mode. Slightly dazed from the change, you could feel Harry’s eagerness radiating somewhat boyishly off him. This was only confirmed when he spun around to look at you, motioning that he wanted to take your other hand in his free one. Even behind his sunglasses you knew his eyes were shining, the way the left side of his mouth sloped upwards to give you that toe-curling smirk and continued to showcase the sickeningly attractive dimple that you knew got him out of any form of trouble he found himself in the classroom both as a child and a teenager. “Fancy a go?” he nudged his head back, when you felt his feet beginning to slow. Frowning, you allowed your eyes to take in your surroundings, them moving to look over his head at the photo booth that sat disheveled in the tiny side street encased in the hustle and bustle of two more prominent roads. “Did you know this was here?” your question was flat with a raised eyebrow, already knowing the answer. His lips twitched, loving how sometimes he was just that easy to read and you were just that easy to get a rise out of. The thing with Harry was, he loved a photo booth. One of the first sets of pictures the two of you ever had together were photo booth pictures from Shoreditch House. That group of four pictures still sat stuck, with a really tacky magnet from New Brighton Beach, to the fridge of the Hampstead home.

“Might’ve done.”

The confidence that oozed out of his being warmed you as you watched the way his jaw flexed with each chew of his gum. He raised his eyebrows at you when he didn’t get a response, only for you to pull your hands free from his and walk slightly ahead of him. You admired the old photo booth that held a sign that you knew lit up at night, block capital letters in black font prominent against a white background. “Foto automatica,” you mumbled under your breath, letting your eyes roam over the fake wooden effect, lino-type material that encased the outside, and the curtain - which you could only describe as musky-looking - that covered up the booth area itself. An information sheet sat next to the booth curtain which detailed all the different types of reasons why someone may have their photograph taken there. Harry ran his finger over the first word and spoke, as fluently as possible for a Northern English lad with two glasses of champagne in his system on no food since midday, “Fidanzati.” He took his finger and pointed to himself, “Boyfriend.” “Don’t see one of ‘em around,” you smirked, feeling him pull you against him lightly. Resting against his side, you watched the way Harry pushed his sunglasses up into his hair as a way to get his hair out of his eyes, but to allow him to read the writing easier. You admired how there was slight squint to his eyes from the bright, natural light, compared to shield behind his sunglasses, and the way his mouth moved slightly as he breathily spoke each word that was listed as to the type of person who may occupy the photo booth. “I think the word you’re looking for is fidanzato,” you rubbed your hand gently against his chest and watched the way a small frown fell between his brows. “‘S not on there,” he mumbled, free hand now picking at his bottom lip in thought. “That’s a shame, it’s not for people like us to use after all then,” you tried to break out of under his arm, but suddenly it felt very heavy against your shoulders as he held you to him. You whined when he started to laugh, enjoying the way you were trying to get out of having your picture taken at all costs. Talking deeply, Harry mumbled, “Where’d you think you’re goin’?” Head tilted back, you pouted as you wrapped your arms around his waist and looked up at him. Harry, knowing you weren’t about to go anywhere just from the way you had clasped your hands together behind his back, used his hands to push your sunglasses up into your hair. The soft smile that graced his face when his eyes came into contact with yours was one filled with a love that only a man who was about to get married in two days would hold. “Don’t make me have my picture taken, H,” you whispered, feeling your bottom lip protrude slightly more than usual. Your eyes closed when you felt his lips press against your forehead, a soft rumble of a laugh breaking out from his lips. “Come on,” he coaxed, “‘S only two euros a go, think I can stretch to tha’.” His muffled voice caused you lightly slap him on his chest as he continued to chuckle. “‘S not nice,” he frowned, his hand slapping and patting down the pockets of his trousers but coming up short; having forgotten how he had handed his wallet over to you before you had left the villa. “You’re suggesting I’m only worth two euros.” “Never said tha’,” he looked at you, a little bit of uncertainty behind his eyes because where had he put his fucking wallet? “You said that, not me. Won’t be able to stretch to nothin’ ‘f I can’t find m’fuckin’ wallet.” Pulling away from him you unzipped at the front of your Gucci Marmont crossbody bag and held the item he was looking for up in the air, between your fingers. With a small smile, you raised your eyebrows over at him, wanting him to come and take it off you in one way or another. “No wonder you’re confident, got access to m’bank account like tha’,” he joked, as he saw the way your mouth fell at his comment. He reached for you again, feeling the stubbornness hit your body as you planted your legs so he couldn’t easily pull you to him again. “Darlin’-” “I’ve got the power right here,” you responded, shaking the black leather item that jingled slightly from the small amount of change Harry liked to carry when he was in another country. He hummed in agreement, “You have no idea.” Harry stared at you for a while before he broke the silence with a small nudge of his head again towards the photo booth and a, “Come an’ have a picture wi’me.”

“Was thinking of going in by myself-”

He gwaffed at that, causing you to throw his wallet at him full pelt, trying to hide your smile as you watched the way he scrambled to catch it before it fell to the floor. Hand pressed to your lips, you saw the way his eyes were alight when they looked back at you.

Raised eyebrows he asked, “Was that really necessary?”

“You laughed at me-”

“You just said, you didn’t want to have your picture taken. Now you’re shunning your husband-to-be because you want to go in by yourself!”

Harry was incredulous as he responded, completely amused by the chopping and changing over your decision making.

“Now whos being dramatic, ‘shunning your husband-to-be’,” you mimicked him, watching as he rolled his eyes in a jokey manner and threw his arms out.

Palms now facing you, he held them up in mock defence against his chest. “Go on then,” he nudged his head.

Eyes squinting as they looked back at him, you turned so that your back was facing Harry now and took in the grubby inside of the photo booth before you fully stepped inside. “After you,” he dropped his tone of voice, hand slowly sliding over your back and down to your arse cheek. He tapped it lightly a couple of times, urging you to step forward into the photo booth. “Ladies first an’ all tha’-” With a squeal, you pulled the brown curtain across and stepped into the tiny space, spinning to turn to look at your fiance as you abruptly pulled the curtain to cover his view. You could hear Harry’s boisterous laugh from over the other side of the fabric from your actions. Not long after he spoke, “I’ll just wait here then, shall I?” “No peeking,” you shouted in response through the curtain as you set about unbuttoning the top of your dusky pink chiffon blouse, biting your bottom lip as you looked up at the camera just in time to see the screen turn to the number one and take the first photo of your four. As a smirk danced over your lips, you moved your hair in one swoop over your left shoulder and quickly enjoyed the powerful feeling that guided you to do something so out of the ordinary for you. With the fabric of your blouse now unbuttoned and slack against your chest, your nude lace bra was easily on show, as you keep your eyes down looking at your heaving chest and heard the shutter sound of the photo booth letting you know the second photo had been taken. Looking back up at yourself, you noticed the fely light flush that had graced your skin as you licked your lips and toyed with yourself within the ten second delay before the third picture. How were you going to make this sexy? Closing your eyes, your breathed deeply through your nose and arched your back, reaching for the bra cup of Harry’s favourite boob of yours and pulled the item taut so it sat underneath the part of your anatomy that Harry so many times described as perfect. It was almost like he was there with you as you thought about the many times he would growl playfully against the flesh of your boobs, begging you to let him fuck them between passionate sucks and licks from his unapologetically, filthy mouth. Boob free, nipple hard the camera captured you for a final time just as you pinched your nipple softly between your forefinger and thumb at the thought of him having his way with you so roughly sometime soon - maybe not soon enough - head tilted back gently and bottom lip capture between you top teeth. You lightly sighed, a soft gasp leaving your throat as you cupped and squeezed your boob and slowly lifted your dipped head up to take a look at the four images that were presenting themselves to you. A message written in Italian was displayed next to the images that you couldn’t draw your eyes away from, something about wanting you to confirm that you were happy with the images that you had taken. Shaking your head, you chose not to respond as you quickly sorted out your bra, tucking yourself back inside and letting your shaking fingers - from adrenaline - quickly button you back up again. Coughing lightly and swallowing harshly, you lifted your hand up to accept that you were happy with the pictures and through the glass of the booth sorted out your hair and prayed that the soft glow of your eyes and cheeks wouldn’t give away your naughty antics inside the small place that was only growing hotter to you with each passing second. Standing, you pulled the curtain across to leave the booth. Harry’s eyes snapped on you from where he had been admiring the grungy architecture around you and continued to stand a couple of metres away. You found yourself smiling at him softly, the way he had his arms crossed gently against his slightly rounded stomach, hands beginning to tuck into his armpits. With a soft frown, you wondered why he was so far away since he was last around he was practically breathing down your neck as you slid the curtain closed. Stepping down, out of the booth and onto the cobbles beneath your sandal covered feet, you looked down into the section of the booth where you were to collect your images at the strip of four photographs waiting for you to retrieve. As you did so, you quickly opened up your bag and shoved them lightly into the leather item, eyes turning to the left just in time to see Harry walking towards you with his hands now behind his back. His gaze was mischievous, and slightly suspicious from your rushed actions, as he let his eyes run over you, dropping down to your hands that were quickly trying to blindly zip up your bag as you looked back at him. “What?” you asked, voice a little trembly as you licked your lips and thought about how you needed to reapply your lip balm once he was inside the booth himself. Harry’s right hand swung from behind his back with ease, a two euro coin pinched between his forefinger, middle finger and thumb quite tightly. Your eyes moved to focus on his fingers, his nails impeccably clean even if they had housed nail polish at the beginning of your holiday. Coin glistening in the sun, you dragged your eyes back to his familiar green pair and saw the way they sparkled with his next words. “My turn,” he raised his eyebrows, so slight you almost didn’t catch it, before he breezed by you with a comically delivered, “Squeeze me, squeeze me” as he tried to excuse you so he can get into the booth. Playfully rolling your eyes at the way he has tried to use the variant of ‘excuse me’, you mumbled under your breath, “Don’t give up the day job.”

“Oi, I heard tha’,” he chastised from behind the curtain, his tone amused as you heard him shuffling about with the stool to make it lower so his head wasn’t out of the frame. Your lips quirked at the thought of some joke you would whisper to him later as you sat in his lap on your balcony about how big his head was.

Before you could stop yourself, not that you would anyway, you let your fingers curl around the side of the curtain, light-heartedly threatening to pull it open, as you began to jerk the fabric.

The fabric was abruptly snatched out of your hand, firmly pressed by much larger digits to the side of the photo booth machine to hide any sort of a glimpse you may get of the action behind it. Harry’s voice sounded not long after, “Get out of it.”

Biting your bottom lip, you shook your head as he mocked you by repeating your words of “no peeking” and stepped back from the booth. “Carry on then,” you jibed.

“I will,” he shot back, without missing a beat. Sometimes it annoyed you when we was so on the pulse like this, but your back and forth flirtatious banter was one of the reasons you had kept him around for so long and were planning on making it forever.

Stepping down the small curb, you tilted your head back and took in the slightly rougher surroundings you found yourself in. If you really zoned in you could just about make out the sound of an Italian matriarch chastising her husband with fast paced language that alternated between fluent Italian and English.

Enjoying the bustle around you, you dug into your bag and reached for your lip balm, running your finger easily against your lips and rolling them together as you kept your eyes on the booth. You shook your hand at the way you could see Harry’s feet from underneath the curtain, the light wind somehow managing to rustle his flared grey trousers that he pretty much lived in.

Your mind wandered to his reaction at the photography that was hidden in your bag. Part of you finding some sort of exhilaration within your anxiety at what had happened just moments ago.

Before you could get too lost in your thoughts, you noticed the way his feet, which had previously been wound around the leg of the stool, planted themselves flat to the floor as he stood to his full height.

When Harry opened the curtain of the booth - not before popping his head out from behind the fabric first - he came swinging out with a smile that radiated the look of a naughty school boy once more. He raised his eyebrows at you as he lunged to snatch at his photos, even though you weren’t in any rush to take them from him or to get much closer.

Approaching you, you turned your back to him and smiled to yourself when you saw the way he dangled the photo booth strip of pictures in front of you and presented you with four images of himself in black and white.

“Last pictures of me as free man them, love,” he hummed, letting his arm fall heavily across your chest as he wrapped himself around you from behind and he knew you had a grip of the photos.

You both began to waddle in your walk as he chuckled into your neck, catching a glimpse of your face as you took in the pictures of him. He felt the way your jaw dropped slightly, a little offended even if only joking.

“I’ve had your arse on lockdown long before this weekend, Styles,” you had chosen to correct him with a self-righteous indignation that showed you were absolutely certain, completely unfounded, in how you were totally correct in your knowledge of just how much of a fool he was for you and had been the minute he clapped eyes on you.

“S’tha so?” he jibed, lips twitching against your skin. “Let me see yours.”

“They’re not for now, they’re for later-

You felt the way he frowned against the side of your face, lips a bit pouty before he jarred his neck backwards. He was quick to notice the blush creeping up your chest, neck and cheeks. “What ‘ave you done-”

“Nothing,” you were quick to try and deter his thoughts away, eyes remaining on the photographs of your - let’s get it straight - incredibly fit husband-to-be. His stare was strong against your profile but you refused to look him in the eye, admiring his face and the puppy dog eyes that he had chosen to give to the camera just for you.

From the four you had a clear favourite. For now anyway. You were sure it would change after you had obsessively ogled them more and more as the day went on. The one with his fingers resting gently against his lips, dopey-eyed and with fluffed hair that begged to be tamed instantaneously captivated you as you slowly blinked, drawn in by his vacant stare.

“Alright,” you breathed, giving in and feeling the way Harry halted the both of you.

“Alright?” he questioned.

“You can see ‘em.”

For some reason you blew out a nervous breath, the strip of picture Harry had given you slipping between your index finger and middle finger as you dropped your eyes and opened your bag to pull out your strip of photos.

“Promise not to laugh.”

“You’re being silly,” he started, hand sliding into the dip where your neck and shoulder met. His clammy palm gave him away, his thumb stroking the back of your neck as he stayed still with his chest against your back. “No reason for me to laugh, you’re bloody wonderful.”

“‘M not very good at being sexy-”

He scoffed, dropping his lips to the back of your neck, “Think tha’s up to m’to decide, don’t you?”

Lifting the images up, you didn’t give him a chance to glance at them before they were pressed to the bare skin of your chest. You dropped your head back against his shoulder, as he turned his face into yours and pressed his lips to your cheek again.

“Give ‘em to me,” he whispered, gruffly. “Go on, doll.”

His voice warmed you as his hands slid lower and squeezed your hips. From your periphery you could just about make out how he licked his lips as he saw you peel the photos, quite literally, away from your blazing skin that held a light film of sweat.

Nostrils flared, Harry’s mouth parted slightly at the visuals you slowly revealed to him. It didn’t go unnoticed to him how you had your thumb strategically covering the last image. Reaching forward he tugged at the top of the photostrip, fighting his smile when he felt you tug back just once.

“Stop bein’ difficult,” he begged with deep command.

Your thumb finally gave way, letting him take hold of the photos for himself. He stayed close to you as he did so, his chest heaving heavily into your back as he breathed out, “You naughty girl. That’s indecent exposure that is-”

“I was behind a curtain, calm down.”

You watched the way he kept his eyes down onto the images, his thumb stroking over each of them separately. Glancing at him over your shoulder, his eyes admired you in a tender way, lifting his gaze to look over at you when you said, “They’re for tomorrow night.”

“Why?” he questioned, tilting his head slightly as you turned around in his hold and cuddled close to him.

“Don’t know.”

You felt yourself getting coy with the man who was about to become your husband in less than seventy-two hours. You knew it was entirely unnecessary but somehow underneath the warm sunshine, the alcohol within your veins had now ebbed away compared to the minutes prior, leaving you with the liquid confidence that gave you the conviction to freely do anything you could ever wish to do.

“Maybe if you needed to-” you choked, cutting yourself off.

Bringing you close to him, he let his lips rest against your temple as he spoke, “You took a dirty picture for me in case I wanted to ‘ave a wank the night before our wedding, ‘s tha’ wha’ you’re tryin’ to tell me?”

You hummed, closing your eyes at the feel of his warm breath against your skin as he groused, “You’re gon’a be m’wife-” the lower register tone he had adopted caused you to melt into him. “‘M gonna shag you so good on Sunday.”

“Just Sunday?” you teased.

“Fo’ the rest of m’life-“

“Sounds better,” you lightly hummed, lips curling into the softest smile as he nudged his mouth closer to yours and melded your lips with his. “Like ‘em?”

“Love ‘em, can’t wait for ‘em to get a bit rough around the edges and creased from the way I’ll desperately grab for ‘em all the time when ‘m on the road.”

*** Your wedding party was small, the way you both wanted it. The fact only became more apparent at the wedding rehearsal and drinks that evening. It didn’t take anything away from the atmosphere that was woven with a type of love and happiness that was sickly sweet but every bit welcomed.

Sat in the gardens that accompanied the beautiful villa that you had chosen to hold your wedding, you were a state of relaxed that caused you to softly smile at nothing. You delicately stroked the stem of your champagne flute as you lifted your hand to shield your eyes from the sun, which was dipping behind the trees, to gently look over at Harry.

His hair moved lightly in the evening breeze, arms folded over his chest in his relaxed stance as he conversed with his oldest friends. He looked every inch as gorgeous today as he did the day you first met him. Probably more so now, if you were being truly honest with yourself.

His crisp white shirt was unbuttoned, more so than you would like it to be, but you were sure that he’d lost a few buttons since the night had begun so it was hardly his fault. That’s what he’d say anyway, blaming it on the Chianti Classico that Florence was known for. The pair of grey Prada trousers he had chosen to wear worked in his favour, and showed off the gym regime he had undertaken to get himself into the shape he currently was in for your wedding.

Lightly shivering in the early Italy evening, you felt a bit exposed in your Michael Lo Sordo silk crepe de chine gown. A half filled flute of champagne occupied your right hand as you walked over to the other side of the dinner table to your soon-to-be husband within the alfresco dining area that had been created for you on the grounds of your wedding venue.

Harry stood, with an amused expression over his features, as he watched two of his closest friends pissing about by grappling each other as if they were still six years old and animatedly reenacting wrestling they had watched on Saturday morning television.

Jack had Jonny in a firm headlock by the time you had made yourself known, almost being taken out when Jonny lost his footing as you approached the group and he tried to stand himself to full height.

Harry whistled harshly, “Lads, calm it down will yer-”

“Wish I hadn’t brought this over with me, it’s getting in the way, “ you whispered more so to yourself, as you hated only having the one arm planted around his waist, as he drew you to him and away from his friends.

He busied himself brushing your hair over your shoulders, enjoying watching you close your eyes as you felt the fluttering of strands fall down your exposed back.

“Neck it then,” he smirked, left side of his mouth rising as you looked at him with wide eyes now that you’d opened them.

“Harry Styles,” you chastised, eyebrows raised.

“Don’t give me tha’”, he pulled you closer to him.

“We’re in a very expensive place-” “Don’t I know it,” he widened his eyes as he spoke before he eyed you. You looked at him for the shortest amount of time before you knocked back the rest of your champagne and held the glass above the top of his head to prove there was none left, before letting him deposit it off to the side for you.

With your second hand now free, you let it join your first, wrapping around Harry’s back. You clasped your hands together against his shirt and tilted your head back looking up at him. He sighed, dreamily, letting his eyes fall over your sun kissed face that was lightly dusted with freckles.

“Worth it, aren’t I?”

“Every penny,” he responded, pecking your lips quickly. “You’re gonna be my wife in two days time,” the tone he’d opted for was light, breath fanning gently over your lips as he hovered close to you. He was never going to get tired of counting down the days, or saying those words.

You giggled at his obvious observation, “Is that right?”

Nodding, he hummed, “Not planning on running off wi’the best man, are ya?”

“Not my type. First usher, on the other hand, ‘s a bit alright isn’t he?”

He pursed his lips, trying to fight his smile at your goading. With a shake of his head, Harry responded, “‘s enough outta you-”

Letting your lips break out into a smile, you heard Harry continue, “Stop eyeing up all m’mates.” He looked up from you and back to his friends, feeling your eyes stay on him. Voice a bit louder he added, “Don’t get too close to Jack, he’s already stolen someone from me before-”

Harry laughed as he cut himself off, dodging the flying napkin that had been thrown at him by his friend, batting it away with his forearm and letting it hit the cobbled stone beneath his feet. “Oi, don’t make me change my mind about forgiving you.”

“It was over ten years ago! I know you’re one to hold a grudge, but come the fuck on!”

“I’m nothing if I’m not consistent,” Harry jibed in return, pulling you closer to him as you pressed your forehead against his jawline and enjoyed the way he rocked the two of you where you stood.

Inhaling deeply you took in his worn in cologne and thought about the afternoon that two of you had shared in the middle of Florence. Sliding your hands down his back, you gently cupped at his bum cheeks through the grey trousers, smile deepening when you felt him clench against your hands.

In the back pocket of his trousers, sitting over his right bum cheek, you felt something inside that was folded into a small-ish square. Light frown on your face, you pulled away to look at Harry. “Is that-”

“The topless photos of my soon-to-be wife,” he started, keeping his eyes looking forward onto the party of family and friends. “Might be. Depends who's asking.”

“You’re terrible-”

“‘M in love, is wha’ I am,” he paused. “But now you know what the reason is if I disappear off to the loo and take too long to come back to you.”

“Maybe opt for a posh wank, wouldn’t want to make a mess of the expensive bathrooms here.”

The dirty snicker that reverberated through him caused you to press yourself closer, “That’s exactly the reason to not have a posh wank. Leave ‘em something to remember me by.”

“And here I was thinking you had impeccable manners.”

The smirk he gave you as he looked down at you caused you to shift thanks to the warmth you felt within you core. “You know I fuckin’ do, say please and thank you at all the righ’ parts for you, don’t I sweetheart?”

***

You weren’t nervous. You knew he was.

You knew the minute he’d turned, braved a glance at you over his shoulder and saw the dreamy sigh heave its way through his chest. You knew the minute his clammy and trembling hand cupped yours as your Dad passed you over to him.

You knew, by the way he stumbled over his vows. Licking his lips and clearing his throat before he started the same sentence he had stumbled over previously and delivered it how he wanted to in the first place. With a sense of confidence that expressed just how sure he was of himself in that moment, how sure he was of your relationship and the life you were about to start building together as husband and wife.

You were so sure of yourself. He could see in the way you smiled at him, the way you squeezed his hand in yours when he had tripped up on the delivery of his vows. The way you cupped the back of his neck when he broke the kiss, not wanting to break away just yet as you rested against him and heard him whisper to you, “We did it, bab. Me and you.”

“Me and you,” you had whispered back. Enjoying the intimate moment that you were sharing regardless of the fifty or so sets of eyes upon you while you did.

“I’m like a duck,” you broke the soft silence between the two of you as you caught a moment to yourselves. Those four words cut into the thoughts of both yourself and Harry from earlier that afternoon. He stood over the other side of the hallway and watched you with your glass of fizz. Looking down at his shoes, his right hand occupied your bouquet of fresh flowers, his left with a champagne flute of orange juice only.

He was amused, lips twitching slightly as he furrowed his brow and blinked slowly. “Why a duck?”

“Cool and calm on the surface, but you best believe underneath the water I am kicking like a mad woman.”

“Lucky for me, or you, I’m into crazy.”

Walking over to him, you reached for the bouquet in his hand and lightly tapped it against the sleeve of his navy suit. He always had a bleeding answer for everything, didn’t he?

“Steady on, steady, eh, eh up, hey,” he rambled, as you hit him another two times as he tried to dodge your blows.

“Stuck with me now, ‘s not like you have a choice,” you rolled your eyes, looking down at your bouquet to see if you had caused much damage. Luckily your fresh flowers looked intact, as you sipped at your champagne again.

“Made m’choice,” he drawled, sauntering over to you after you’d paced back over to your original standing place. “‘M very ‘appy wi’my choice. Punched above m’weight, did well for m’self.”

You felt you lips pull into the shyest of smiles as you smoothed your hands over the lapels of his dark blue suit. Fingers stroked at the velvet accent that adorned the collar, liking the way it felt against your fingertips.

“I did alright, I s’pose,” you looked up under your eyelashes at him, watching the way he raised his eyebrows at you before shaking his head.

The two of you stayed silent as he let his gaze look over your face, eyes dropping down to take in your dress as he pushed his body away from yours to see all of you. He whistled lowly, eyes raking up your body before meeting your eyes again. “Talk me through everythin’-”

“Do you not think we should go and make ourselves known to our guests?”

“Fuck no,” he hummed, plainly, “‘m enjoying m’wife. They can fuckin’ wait. Let ‘em enjoy the free bar I’ve forked out for-”

“That’s the only reason you paid for it, to distract the guests.”

“Caught me, but it’s working in’it. No-one’s coming looking for us just yet.”

You laughed down your nose at the abruptness of his voice, his hand cupping around your waist, thumb stroking over the lace of your dress.

“When I went for my last fitting,” you started, enjoying the way he dropped his eyes again to look at your left hand which was playing with the cufflinks of his shirt. “I was told by Monique herself that my dress was a signature silhouette, embellished with decadent embroidery and a luxurious fabric palette that included duchess satin and mosaic lace to create an air of royalty, depth and dimension. Creating an overall effect that is enchanting and a celebration of romance.”

Harry’s eyes sparkled at you as you finished what you were saying, a humour induced quirk to his eyebrow, his lips pulled into a tight line before he spluttered out his laugh.

“Excuse you,” you raised your eyebrows at him, shoving his right shoulder to lightly create some distance between the two of you because of his rudeness. “I thought you of all people would love to hear that sort of drivel. You’re supposed to agree with that sort of thing, not laugh!”

He blinked, laughing fading into a soft smile. With this dreamy tone, he said, “Now tell me why you really chose it.”

Scrunching your nose up at him, you sighed, “Two reasons. Cause I knew you’d sigh the way you did when you saw me in it at the end of the altar and,” you paused. “Cause it made me look the slimmest I’ve looked in ages.”

“How’d I know it would come back to weight,” he hummed, leaning forward to peck your lips. “‘M floored, d’ya kno’ tha’? Don’t know how I’m keeping my hands to m’self, really, don’t know how I’m doin’ it.”

“You act like you didn’t have a strict work regime in the lead up to this day, don’t talk to me about weight-”

“You know tha’ was to help build up my stamina more than anything else,” he pulled you closer to him, hands spreading out across your lower back.

“God knows y’needed it,” you tapped him on the chest in a playfully patronising fashion.

“Nothing like a supportive wife, let me tell ya,” he shook his head as it dropped down. You quickly picked it up with both your hands and pulled his lips to yours. He hummed as you kissed him, “Tha’s more like it.”

“Easily pleased.”

“When it comes to kissing you? Abso-fucking-lutely,” he hummed, cupping your jaw with his own hand and deepening the kiss.

***

You swivelled your hips as you dropped down into the white Alfa Romeo Giulia, the heat of the Italian sun graced your skin and left you with the kind of Mediterranean bliss that relaxed your body. Or maybe that was because you had just become a married woman.

“Out done yourself, Jeff mate,” you heard Harry shout as he hunched his body slightly, getting ready to close your passenger door while he nodded his head to the boot of the car which housed empty cans of different UK beer suppliers, tied on with string and hung out of the back of boot alongside a ‘Just Married’ sign. You shook your head with a laugh, placing your bouquet into your lap and debated whether you should wear your seatbelt or not as Harry made sure you were comfy before shutting the car door.

He turned his back to you, eyes on his friends and family as he smiled and blew kisses to them, not missing the way his Mum rolled her eyes at his theatrics.

You leaned your forearm along the top of the door, resting your chin against your skin and smiled as you watched Harry. The way he glowed, and had done all day, was still as mesmerising now in the very late afternoon as it was the minute you first saw him at the end of the aisle.

He stood there, waving and blowing kisses some more - for what felt like an eternity - causing you to shake your head.

“Your wife is waiting,” you teased with a slight command, watching the way he slowly turned his head to look at you. He eyed you for a while, enjoying the demanding expression you had chosen to wear.

“Alright,” he stressed, voice high pitched, tilting his head as he kept eye contact. Knowing that it would kill the illusion, you bit your bottom lip, trying to hide away the smile that you hadn’t been able to take off your lips since the minute you had become Mrs Styles.

“I’m bloody comin’, didn’t realise you were this impatient, wouldn’t have married yer ‘f I had!” he joked, walking around the back of the car, your friends and family laughing resoundingly at him.

You didn’t see the way Harry raised his eyebrows at Jeff as he spoke louder so the crowd of guests could hear his response to your comment. He heavily dropped down into the car seat next to you, the gold and silver of the necklaces around his neck bouncing against his golden chest and sunkissed chest hair from underneath the white dress shirt.

You reached for your bouquet, hitting him lightly on the top of the chest this time, as he fought the smile against his lips from the way he had riled you. “It’s not some fan gathering y’know,” you answered back, rolling your eyes.

Harry, wearing a bemused expression, leaned over the centre console of the car, his arm wrapping around the back of your seat as he did so. Now closer to you, he softly stroked at the underside of your chin, tilting your lips up to his. “I’m basking, darling,” he purred, eyes moving over your face, enjoying the way your lips lopsidedly smiled back at him.

“Well, bask with me,” you whispered in return, rolling your lips into your mouth and smoothing out what was left of your nude lipstick.

Humming from the back of his throat, you enjoyed the way his lips enveloped yours and welcomed his tongue into your mouth even if you did think it was a bit much in front of your loved ones.

“Plenty of time for tha’”, he stressed, leaving a series of sponging pecks against your lips, that had yor giggling and him smiling against the corner of your mouth. “‘M trying to kiss m’wife, ‘f that’s quite alrigh’?” he joked against your cheek, again loudly to try and silence the hollering from your wedding party.

A loud wolf-whistle broke up the laughter, someone shouting something like “get a room if you’re gonna neck on”, as you tilted your head back on your neck with a loud laugh of your own. “Can’t get a minutes peace ‘ere wi’these lot,” he tutted, nudging his nose gently against your skin before leaning back in his seat to fiddle around with the keys that Jeff had left in the ignition having pulled the car around to the front of the building moments earlier for you both.

Letting his eyes drop to your lap, he saw the way you gently held the stems of your bouquet of flowers. Fingering gently at the light peach petals of the roses he looked up at you, “Aren’t you meant to throw this?”

“Who’s gonna catch it? Other day you said Michal wasn’t good enough.”

“Can a guy not joke about when he’s a bit pissed?”

You watched the way some of the wedding party starting to turn to go inside, Gemma smiling lovingly up at Michal as she wrapped her arm across her middle and turned her gaze back over to both you and her brother. Looking back at Harry for a quick glance, you paused before shouting, “Gemma, catch!”

The brunette raised her head at the mention of her name, turning to see the way you hauled your flowers into the air. Having already passed comment earlier on in they day about how beautiful they looked, you knew there was no way she would let them fall to the cobbled stone. You were right in your thoughts as she quickly shot across the driveway and just caught the flowers before they hit the deck. Raising them in the air, she pumped them towards the sky a couple of times, before laughing loudly and shouting, “Love you!”

Returning the sentiment, you heard Harry shout after you, “Good luck with that, Michal.”

“Oi you bugger,” Gemma responded, as Harry fired up the engine, obnoxiously revving it causing you to lightly frown over at him.

“Sorry Gem, can’t hear yer,” he cupped gently against his ear with his left hand, your eyes falling to the glistening of his plain, platinum band underneath the sunshine.

“Stop, be nice,” your soft voice caught his attention over the sound of the engine. His gentle gaze looked at you, reaching over and cupping your face with hand. His thumb softly stroked at your chin, his eyes dropping to your lips as you repeated your words telling him to change his teasing attitude towards Gemma.

“Thought you were on my team now,” he asked, watching you breathe around a laugh and prepare yourself to respond as he brought his wedding ring up to your line of vision.

Before you had a chance to speak, a member of your wedding party cut through your moment, “H, we’ve got a free bar going to waste inside so if would ya could just kindly piss off, we could go and enjoy it!”

“Bastards,” he muttered under his breath. “Getting kicked out of m’own wedding.”

“Our wedding,” you corrected him. “Stop giving it the big ‘un and take me to bed already.”

You saw the way he smirked, leaning over to kiss you again, “What wifey wants, wifey gets.”

***

Harry was determined the minute he pulled the car to a halt outside the secluded house that epitomized everything Italian. His strides were confident as he walked around the sports car, rounded the bonnet and swiftly opened your passenger door.

He hovered over you in a way that you found attractive, protective and comfortingly domineering, causing you to seductively smile up at him, and under your own admittance flutter your eyelashes in a way that would’ve usually made your roll your eyes. “Are you going to carry me over the threshold?”

“Are you joking?” his facial expression was incredulous.

Scrunching your nose at him, you shook your head and let it fall back against the headrest. “I’ve taken my shoes off now, don’t think I’d be able to get them back on even if I tried. Could you grab them for me as well?”

“Anything else?”

“Maybe that shag you’ve been dangling over my head since the minute we landed-”

“The shag I’ve been dangling over your head?” his voice rose a couple of octaves as he prolonged his words, eyes getting wider each time, causing your smile to deepen.

Both of you looked at each other for a while in silence before Harry turned to peer down into the car footwell. Leaning down, he grabbed at your high heeled sandals and scrutinised them for a short while.

His eyes ran over the sparkling shoe, and for the shortest time, the male within him wondered how much they’d cost. “Do they do these in my size?”

“Now, that’s something I’d like to see. You’re like bambi when your feet are on the ground so heaven knows how four inches would treat you.”

“Four inches treats you quite well,” he let his attempt of sexual innuendo hang in the air. You eyed him, peering through hooded eyes at his pleased face, staying silent as he added, “And the rest.”

“You do talk some shit at times,” you giggled, watching the way he frowned over at you, not amused by your comeback.

“That’s you not getting a piggyback then,” he raised to his full height, fiddling with the waistband of his trousers and smirked at the way your hand reached up and curled around his open shirt. Tugging lightly, he enjoyed the way you pulled him down to you with a soft purse of your lips, “What?”

“Please,” you whined in a whisper.

“Alright,” he sighed, shaking his head due to the way you threw your hands up into the air and clapped quickly at how he had given in. Once you’d revelled in your win for long enough, you wound your arms around Harry’s neck and pulled him to you.

“Love you-”

“You bloody better do,” he pecked your lips, before he softly murmured the same words back to you. “If I pull my back out doing this, I swear-” he trailed off as he shook his head and thought about how he was going to scoop his arm underneath the mountains of lace. Sure, Monique Ihullier had managed to sell you a story about romance but it wasn’t going to be very romantic when one of you ended up breaking your necks thanks to the reams of fabric that you found yourself tangled in together.

You laughed as you felt him slide his hand underneath what he thought was all the fabric that belong to your dress, for the second time. “Still don’t think you’ve got it all, H.”

You bit your bottom lip when he muttered under his breath, “Bollocks to this, why is there so much fuckin’ fabric.”

“Sifts out the wheat amongst the chaff in terms of husband material,” you deadpanned.

“Not another kind of fuckin’ material,” he responded, smiling when he lifted you and you knocked your head back with a loud laugh. “Jesus, darlin’ don’t make this anymore of a challenge fo’ me. Be good to me.”

Humming, you raised your head to meet his eyes that were smiling at you. He jostled you in his hold as he stepped backwards, after landing a weak kick that somehow still managed to close the car door, making sure his grip was tight enough as he slightly panicked when he realised he’d forgotten the shoes.

“I’ve got ‘em,” you didn’t even need him to confirm the alarm behind his stare. Maybe if he had been concentrating hard enough he would’ve felt the way the item was lightly bouncing against the back of his suit jacket.

The way he visibly relaxed, made you fall closer to him and cling a bit tighter to try and make it as easy for him as possible. Before Harry turned his body so that he was facing the house, you glanced over his shoulder at the quaint farmhouse built with a warm terracotta brick standing before you with a porch that housed ivy and warm lantern lights.

“Whatever you do, do not let go of my neck,” Harry warned, tone of voice tight, as he turned the both of you with one smooth motion. Instead you clung tighter to him, lightly scratching at his skin and enjoying the satisfied groan that Harry emitted from your ministrations.

As the door came into view, you sighed at the situation you found yourself in. The setting screamed Italian hideaway, barely a sound around the two of you, baring Harry’s breathing mixing with yours as you pressed your head close to his and peppered barely there kisses along his jaw.

“Do you think you’ll be able to get the keys out m’jacket pocket? Left one.” he breathed, turning his head to the side to nudge you to look at him.

“Hope so,” you lightly laughed, smoothing your hand over his cheek.

“Me too, otherwise ‘m gonna have to put you down and really don’t want to do that until I see our bed.”

“Really didn’t think this one through-”

“No, you didn’t,” he shot back, closing his eyes and thanking the gods above when he planted his feet firmly against the floor and felt the way your hand managed to reach the keys with ease.

“We have lift off,” you smiled, holding the keys in front of his face. Without responding, Harry bent his knees slightly and, around a small squeak, you pushed the key into the lock and opened the door.

Harry quickly stepped his way over the threshold, relishing the way you fell against him and smiled against his neck. “Can I put you down now?” he whispered.

“Thought you were taking me to bed? All mouth and no trousers-”

You laughed as you felt him lift you higher against his body, goaded by your words, hands now with a more sturdy grip against your body. Fingers dipping into the skin of your legs, you noticed the way he started to sweat lightly at his temples from the extra weight, and emitted a strangled breath that made you breathe a little deeper than normal.

He walked through the single level abode with ease and as your body fell against the bed, you felt it relax despite the pools of fabric that awkwardly bunched against your legs. Harry followed you, hovering over where you lay, deeply humming when you kept his lips to yours. “Let me get the lights, wanna see you properly.”

“Don’t leave me,” you whispered, “Crawl up me.”

Pushing up, Harry moved a small amount as he held his body above yours and basked in the way that your eyes stayed on him from where you lay. The warm lighting from the bedside table illuminated Harry’s slightly flushed face, and the indentations of his dimples that were beginning to form as he fought his smile.

“Getting a good eyeful, Mrs Styles,” he spoke, eyes dropping down to catch the way you blinked sultrily. His hands rested next to your head on the pillow, thumbs swiping softly at your temples, “Have you got your legs open for me under this dress?”

With a silent nod up at him, you noticed the way he breathed heavily through his nose and asked, “‘Ave you? Gonna help me get inside, doll.”

Your slightly trembling hands met his much more confident ones as they bunched up at the fabric around your legs, helping to make it bundle around your waist. “You hold it there for me,” he gruffly requested, a small smile gracing his lips as he noted the way you gripped at the lace harder as his eyes scanned your body.

The cool evening air ran over your much warmer skin when Harry successfully freed your leg. He raised his eyebrows up at you in his triumph, hand soothing against your soft, tanned skin before coming to a halt. “‘S tha’ what I think it is?”

“What d’ya think it is?” you spoke hushed, feeling the way your chest heaved against the top of your dress and you saw the way his eyes dropped down, before he looked back at you.

“It’s definitely a garter.”

“Is it-”

The groan that left Harry’s lips as he dropped his forehead against your sternum was almost animalistic, and he used his free hand to gather up as much of the other side of your skirt that he could muster in one go. He made his way so effortlessly down your body, your hands slipping against the top of his suit jacket as he slid down to get a good look at your thighs.

“Baby,” he whimpered. “What are you doing to me, ‘s comin’ off wi’my teeth tha’ is.”

“Do it-”

“‘M gonna,” he nosed against your thigh, a shiver rumbling through you at the way his teeth grazed gently against your skin and curled around the silk and elastic that graced your left thigh.

His wet and warm breath flowing over you, caused you to clawed at the fabric in search of his head, only failing and causing some of the dress to curtain over Harry in the process. He wasn’t phased as he continued on his pursuit to get the item down your leg. Eyes closed, you enjoyed the tickle of the fabric as he nudged it down to the top of your calf and pulled it off the rest of the way with his nimble fingers.

Item within his grasp, Harry allowed it fall against the linen bedspread beneath you both and nosed his way back up your skin, slowly worshipping you with open mouthed kisses back up your body. “Stop teasing me,” you whined, hands scampering across the mounds of fabric.

Harry’s gruff response sounded far away as you began to focus on the way he cupped at the back of your thighs, “Wha? Like you’ve been doing all weekend, eh?”

“That’s different.”

Muffled, he chuckled against your inner thigh, you tried to fight the shake of your legs as Harry clung to you and slid across your panties without a protest. “How so? Tell me-”

As you started to argue, Harry licked hungrily against your slick core in one motion. His nose buried itself deep into the top of your mound as he instantly sucked at you with a desire that you hadn’t felt in the longest time. A thirst needing to be quenched.

“No, no, no. At least let me see,” you whimpered, followed by a whispered and begged mantra of, “let me see, let me see, H. God-”

Against your want, more fabric curtained over the top of Harry as the heat created between your thighs almost became unbearable. Almost. Your hands twisted into the sheets beneath you, while his pushed at the backs of your thighs, creating a makeshift tent against your wedding dress to allow him a chance of making it out of this alive.

But if not, what a way to go, eh?

His mouth circled around your clit, as you breathed heavily, gasps catching between each breath you took. He turned his head, burying his tongue and nose deeper against you, making sure he ate you everywhere.

“Talk to me,” he mumbled, voice barely audible as you felt the tease of his fingers against your folds and his heavy pants, screaming at him to take proper respite.

Your head tipped back due to the slight pressure of his finger tips, slowly feeling your walls give way to him, sinking deeper as you wriggled down against his hand. His lips slanted upwards, lopsidedly, from your eagerness as he bit his bottom lip and moaned softly at the view of your glistening lips.

The gust of cool air from the way Harry abruptly pulled himself from under your gown, you peered at him as he came into view, reaching for him as tried to move the skirt of your dress up and around your waist once more.

Cheeks pink, the mixture of Harry’s sweat and your taste, lined his lips as he messily found your mouth. His hand rested against the inside of your thigh as he blindly found you again and wasted no time in sinking his fingers back inside of you.

Middle finger and third finger rocked gently inside you, curling gently as they got closer to the start of your entrance before sliding back into your wetness to tap tauntingly against to that spongy centre aching to be teased. His mouth hovered over your lips as you forced him away from your to breath, letting your eyes drop down to enjoy the tautness of his suit jacket against his flexed arm.

“Fuck me, ‘m sweating,” he confessed, his eyes dropped down to your face as he saw the way you dipped your head into the pillow beneath you once more. “You like it like this?”

His question caused you to loll your head in his direction, blissed out face barely able to make out his concentrated expression as he watched you closely. You swallowed hard, nodding in an almost numb-like state. “Tease me,” you whined, grasping at his neck and pulling him to rest heavier upon you.

“Yea’?” he faintly hummed as he dropped his forehead against you. “Like this?”

“Mmm,” you nodded against his head, as you dug your nails into his neck, taking advantage of the leverage and the way it allowed him to curl his fingers inside, just the way you liked it. “Slower-”

“Doll,” he gasped, feeling your slickness over his fingers. “Want me fuck you-”

“Tease me,” you whimpered. “Yes.”

“Come on my fingers,” he requested faintly. “Go on, do it.”

Back arched, an almost pained breath escaped you as you reached down and felt the movement of his hand beneath yours. “‘S me,” he chuckled, “‘m not stoppin’, go on.”

Eyes glazed, you felt the way your legs began to shake as he slowly dragged his curled fingers in you, as much as he could beneath your hand. Hand pressed firmly against you, he felt the way you opened wider for him and applied pressure to the back of his hand as you needed just a little bit more. “Am I not doin’ it right?” he asked, knowing the answer to his question as you allowed your eyes to roll back into your head.

“Tha’s it, soak me,” he deeply growled as you let yourself fall under the warmth in the pit of your stomach, not fighting the way it was about to make you shake. “Give it me, all of it-”

“Yes, fuck,” you moaned wetly, body stiff before it fell slack against the bed. Legs, once wide open, slipped almost shut as Harry’s wet fingers stayed tightly curled against you.

Heavy breathing filled the space between the both of you as you rubbed your thumb over the top of his hand, feeling the way your arousal coated his fingers. “Need you out of this dress,” he mouthed against your lips, as you panted and enjoyed the dead weight of his body next to yours.

Clambering off you, Harry toed his way out of his shoes and pulled his jacket away from his body, before laying it over the back of the chair in the corner of the room. His shirt, which was barely buttoned to begin with, followed not long after being whipped carelessly across the room.

He eyed you from the end of the bed, watching the way you blinked down at him and laid content. His hand cupped to his hardening erection through his trousers, a stifled groan leaving his lips as he made light work of unbuttoning the waist and kicking them away.

Hands tugging at yours, Harry pulled you up to him. “Don’t fall asleep on me,” he whispered, “It’ll be worth it.”

You weren’t in doubt, but the blissful feeling that oozed through your body had you in a dreamy state that could easily pull you under. “Help me get you out of this,” he asked, hands blindly feeling the buttons as you fell against him.

He struggled against the dainty clasps, breathing deepening ever so slightly when you reached for his underwear and pulled down the waistband to let them pool at his feet. The backs of your fingers stroked at his lower abdomen as you took in his waiting cock that was in need of some serious attention.

You giggled, looking up at him when you felt him growl with annoyance at the final buttons of your dress that just wouldn’t play ball. Mouth against his jawline, you cheekily asked with a slight nip of your teeth, “Are you aching for me?”

“‘S nearly off, darlin’,” he choked. “Play along. Help me.”

Looking at him from underneath your eyelashes, you undid the last buttons and felt the way the dress became slack against your body. Silently breathing each other in, you removed your arms from the lace and let the front of the dress fall away from you braless boobs. Harry swallowed harshly, tugging at your waist as his hand curled around your warm and soft skin.

Without a word, he dipped down and let his mouth lap at your nipples. Hands, which had been itching to glide through his hair, quickly curled against the brown strands and tugged with pleasure. You stepped back, feet tangling in the dress that you had left at your feet as he helped to slowly lay you back down and tugged gently at the only remaining clothing item between the two of you.

The two of you were barely able to hold a kiss, as he hung above you, anticipation the first feel of him entering you lingering in the air. You tilted your head back, as you saw him drop his eyes to see himself guide his aching cock to your wet and ready entrance.

“Harry, what are you doing?” you ask, as he taped himself gently against you swallow from arousal private parts.

From under his brow, he looked up, holding your eye contact with a quiet confidence. “Shagging m’wife.”

His first thrust was measured. Deliberately deep and drawn out as he slowly took you for the first few moments. Your legs lifted, curling around his back, wanting to feel the power of his thighs and arse as he rocked heavily into you, slapping skin reverberating throughout the room.

It wasn’t long before he picked up the pace, hand underneath your hips to keep them tilted, just the way you liked it. His breath ragged against your ear, his muffled filth had you moaning quietly in his ear. “And then ‘m just going to keep fucking you, and fucking you, and fucking you-” he paused, teeth gritted, “Taking pictures of these tits, my tits, an’ keepin’ ‘em from me like tha.’”

You pushed your chest up towards him, his forehead resting against your sternum again as he blabbed around his shortness of breath. “‘S not how it works, ‘s mine.”

“‘S yours,” you whined against his mouth when he kissed his way back to you, his skin so beautifully painted with flush that highlighted his exertion.

You swept his damp tendrils away from his forehead, as his face contorted with a passion you had missed seeing. His fingers clung to you, pulling you tightly up towards him as he became heavy with his thrusts. You know he was close as he when became rough around the edges; when he started talking about how much he was going to come.

“‘S going to be loads,” he gritted out, tailing off into a guttural moan that had you moaning beneath him from the sheer manliness of his confession.

“‘S dripping out,” you whined, playing along like he had asked of you moments ago, gripping him to you as he heavily pressed his torso to yours and rolled his hips weakly into you a couple of more times, almost making sure that his release stayed inside of you.

He rolled you with him, both on your sides and willed you to press your clammy forehead into his neck. You sucked against the skin on his collarbone, lapping at the saltiness of his skin and desperately trying to catch your breath.

“‘S a good fuck,” he murmered, nosing along your hairline, warm breath at the shell of your ear. “‘S a good fuck,” he repeated, weaker and more so for himself than for you.

*** You yawned around a light laugh at how silly the two of you were being.

Harry pulled on his wedding suit trousers and you slipped back into your wedding dress. The clock behind you read almost 2am, but he seemed determined to drive the two of you to some place else, desperately trying to hold onto your wedding night.

“Need your help, H,” you broke his concentration of buttoning up the front of his trousers. Eyes shooting up, he admired what he could see of your bare back in your wedding dress and the way you held the front against your bare chest.

“‘M comin’,” he mumbled as he walked around from his side of the bed, over to where you stood in front of the free standing mirror of your room. His hands fumbled with the zip that sat at the bottom of the dress, zipping it up as high as he could before he started on the buttons. He lightly smiled when he saw your hand come up before you, your perfectly soft and manicured fingers helping him finish up the buttons.

As he got closer to the top, he dropped a kiss to the bare skin at the nape of your neck, before it got covered by the lace of the dress, “Thanks for helpin’ me, darlin’.”

You busied yourself brushing your hair over your left shoulder, watching Harry through the mirror as he offered you his suit jacket to either drape over yourself or wear properly. You chose to push your arms through the sleeves, enjoying the way it smelled of him and engulfed you into a familiar comfort.

Harry groaned as he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled his shoes on, his eyes watched you softly as you pushed up the sleeves of his suit jacket that was too big. With a yawn, he dropped his head down to tie the laces of his patent dress shoes.

Walking closer to him, you played with the hair on the back of his head, offering him comforting scratches to his scalp as he kept it facing downwards, “You sure you’re okay to drive?” “I’m fine,” he lifted his head. “Promise,” he mumbled as your hand ran over his face and he pressed a quick peck to the inside of your hand. “You ready?”

“Yeah, I’ll put these on in the car,” you raised your heels that hung on your middle and forefinger by their ankle strap. He eyed them before he looked at you.

“How you getting to the car in bare foot?”

“You’ll just have to carry your wife, won’t you?”

“Not again, not a chance-”

You pushed him out the door of your suite muttering, “I don’t ask for much.”

“You don’t half!”

Squinting your eyes again, you decided to let him off this time and opted for walking to the car like a normal person. He opened your door for you once more, helping your gather all the fabric around your legs, to stop it getting caught inside the car door.

Quickly joining you, Harry wasted no time in starting the engine and rolling out of the driveway and onto the Italian roads. He reached for your hand as he drove, making sure he kept his undivided attention on the other drivers around him but every so often wiggling his fingers that were laced in-between yours.

“Where are you taking us?” you asked, smiling at his dimly lit profile and watching the way he enjoyed your inquisitive nature.

“S’ not far now, you’ll soon see-”

You didn’t ask another question, enjoying the italian night around you and the lack of cars on the road. The way the architecture looked even prettier in the evening under the warm glow of lanterns and yellow spotlights.

The minute the side street came into view, with a familiar setting that had graced your eyes just two - well, three days now - prior, you couldn’t help but lightly shake your head. Harry dropped the gears of the car and took caution around the slightly smaller streets, his speed almost slowing you to a halt as he crawled the car down the cobbles.

Taking a left, you turned your eyes to look at him as he slowed the car and put on the handbrake. You watched him silently as he messed with a couple of dials on the dashboard, turning the engine off and dropping his head back against his headrest.

Feeling your eyes on his, he lolled his head to the side to look at you and smiled sleepily over at you. “‘M getting my photo booth pic of us together, even if it kills me.”

You scoffed your laugh, as he blinked slowly at you with his creased shirt and hair that reminded you of the second round of sweaty shagging that the two of you had managed to draw out of the other before driving here.

“Humour your husband,” he softly pleaded.

With a slight frown, you reached for his cheek and softly thumbed the corner of how downturned lips. “Didn’t bring any cash out with me-”

Harry didn’t take his eyes off yours, but you gradually saw the way they got lighter as they twinkled underneath the lamps of the street you found yourself sat in. His hand fiddled between the two of you, the sound of coins jangling filling the space and causing you to drop your stare down into the car console.

Glancing back up at him, you loved just how pleased he looked with himself at how he had stocked the coin tray in the car with as many two euro coins he was able to jam into such a small space.

“You’re looking mighty pleased with yourself-”

“‘S cause I am,” he smugly responded. “Guess how many pictures are in there?” You shrugged at his question, knowing no doubt he knew the answer. “Loads, ‘s how many.”

“Really have got an answer for everything, haven’t you?”

“Think I do alrigh’ for m’self, yeah-”

Leaning forward you shut him up the best way you knew how, by languidly kissing him and letting him take the lead he wanted after you had initiated. He slowed the use of his tongue, dragging his lips gently against your as he whispered, “Wha’ ‘bout if I get m’tits out this time, what’dya to tha’, darlin’?”

“You’re a married man, Mr Styles,” you started, “Can’t be seen doing things like that now, can you?”

“‘S wha’ the curtains for, you should know-”

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fiction #harry fanfic #harry one shot #harry smut #harry x reader #harry x you #harry x yn #harry styles fanfiction

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ella-se-vuelve-loca · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 21

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

This is kind of short guys 😬💕 you’ll find out what’s in the package really soon 👀

Previous Chapter

Joel’s P.O.V.

“You don’t think he knows, do you?” I asked Richard as we were on our way to go meet up with the rest of the guys downstairs for breakfast. “I don’t think so. Nobody has said anything about what had gone down between you two yet, so I’m assuming Johann doesn’t know jack – shit.”

I nodded as we kept walking downstairs. “How.. how was she?” I asked. “Well, she wasn’t expecting any sort of package, that was for sure.”

“I know, but you know why I couldn’t be there to deliver it myself.”

“Yeah.. well, she looked fine. You’re lucky we had a couple days of break and I didn’t get caught. Clara would’ve had my head if she found out I left in the middle of the tour for your dumbass.”

“I know I know and I’m sorry! It’s just that.. I wouldn’t have trusted anybody else to deliver it to her other than you..”

“You owe me.”

“I know.”

“I felt like I was a spy or somethin’, ya know? Like I had to get in, get out real quick and head back to base ASAP.” He chuckled and made himself a cup of coffee. “I think she almost recognized me, so I left before she could figure out who I was.”

We made our way over to where the boys were now eating and placed his cup on the table. “Zabdiel still not here yet?” Richard asked as Chris shook his head, laughing. “No, but I woke him up and told him to come down earlier. I bet he’s still knocked out.”

Richard playfully rolled his eyes and went to go and grab himself a plate of food as I followed after him. “So, she was doing okay? Did you see Johann anywhere? You hear his voice?” I asked him and he shook his head.

“Woah woah woah hold up.” He chuckled and started plating some food on his plate. “Give me a chance to wake up first and then answer your questions.” I smiled and nodded. “Sorry, I’m just.. this is the first in a while I’ve heard from her.”

“I know man, I know. We’ll get there, okay?” I sighed and put some batter in the waffle maker machine and waited for it to be done cooking. “I’ll answer your questions, just give me a few minutes, yeah?”

He took his plate and started walking back where the rest of the guys sat. I sighed and tried to envision what (Y/N)’s reaction was if she opened the box.

I wondered if she would be happy. Would she be upset that I sent her something even after she told me that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore? Is this a big mistake? I heard a ding and took my waffles out and placed it onto my plate.

I grabbed a cup of orange juice as I walked back towards the table where the rest of the guys were sitting. “Hey, look who decided to show up!” Richard laughed as Zabdiel came down with a smile on his face.

“What did I miss?” He laughed as he grabbed himself a plate. As him and Richard were talking, I looked over and saw Christopher slowly reaching his fork across the table to try and get some of Richard’s food without him noticing. I chuckled and shook my head. Aye Chris, what are we gonna do with you?

“We have a little bit of time left before we go to – hey wait!” Richard looked at Chris bringing his fork up to his mouth giggling. “Dude, you have your plate right there!” He laughed and shook his head. “Well, yeah but.. you got something different and I wanted to give it a try. No harm done.”

“You didn’t want to go up and get some?”

“… You’re already here, it’s just easier.” Rich rolled his eyes and chuckled. “You’re something else, you know that?”

“Why are you even surprised?” Chris laughed and took a bite of his own food on his plate. “You know I love food.”

“I’m not that surprised.” I looked between the two and smiled. Zabdiel came to the table and set down his plate. “Hey bro, watch out. Chris is gonna take a bite out of your food when you aren’t paying attention.”

“No!” They both laughed as Zabdiel shrugged his shoulders. “I had a feeling, so that’s why I put more on my plate just in case.” Seeing them like this almost makes me forget about (Y/N) and Johann – almost. We continued to eat until we had to go back up into our rooms to change.

Me and the boys are gonna go out and explore for a little bit before our concert tonight. Ever since I sent her that package, I’ve been on edge. What if she ends up telling Johann? What if she just threw it away without looking inside?

That gift… is my last attempt at getting her back. It’s up to her now if she’ll take it.

Richard and I came up with this little plan that night we had a talk. Even though he’s helped me come up with a few more ideas to try and win her back, I honestly don’t know if they would even work.

I don’t want to waste our time if she really doesn’t want anything to do with me. I got an answer when she didn’t come to the airport and now it’s like déjà vu all over again.

If this doesn’t work, then that just tells me that she’s really done with me and I should learn to drop it. It means that I’ve lost her for good and I’m just wasting my time.

If this last attempt doesn’t work… then I won’t try again…

Johann’s P.O.V.

Things are going according to plan.

Kind of, at least.

I know she hasn’t moved on if she still has that fucking picture of Joel in a frame just sitting in her house. I thought that kiss would’ve worked.

Why doesn’t she feel anything for me yet? How long does it take for people to fall in love with someone else?

(Y/N)… beautiful, sweet innocent (Y/N). If only you knew the truth.

I need to find a way to get Joel out of the picture for good. I need to start pushing it a little more if I’m gonna get what I really want. I want the spotlight. I deserve it, not them… not him… me.

I looked at (Y/N) and saw her lying down, a book in one hand and a bitten red apple in the other. I rolled my head back and I could feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, breathing in the fresh air. “This is nice..”

“Mhmm…” She mumbled as I heard the crunch of her biting into the apple. “I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.” I said, reaching down to grab one of the grapes and put it in my mouth.

“I haven’t had time to go because of my music career and stuff, but.. I made time today.” I chuckled and looked back down at her. I couldn’t help but admire her figure. She’s beautiful, I’ll give her that.

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“Mhmm when was the last time you went to the beach and felt this calm?”

She stayed silent for a few moments before she cleared her throat. “Um.. it was actually with Joel..”

“Oh.”

“Yeah..” She stayed glancing down at her book as she kept talking. “We.. we actually went late at night.” She smiled as she kept talking.

“It was just us two. He had a whole little picnic planned out for us and we talked and laughed about the stupidest things.” She chuckled and she flipped the page to her book. “Oh, really?” I rolled my eyes as she continued, nodding her head.

“I remember um.. being nervous as fuck because that night we..” She shook her head and sighed. “What?” I asked. “What did you guys do?” Oh please… enlighten me. Like I actually want to know. Pfft.

“He kissed me for the first time and.. hmm…” She bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrows. Joel, you smooth motherfucker. “That was the last time I went to the beach, since you asked.”

Just how long is she gonna be stuck on him? It’s been a few months… like what the fuck? “Well, since we’re on the topic of kissing..” I rolled my shoulders back and reached down, grabbing another grape. “Can we talk about your birthday?”

“Oh.. that..”

“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I just.. I gotta ask how it was on your end.” She cleared her throat and turned to face me. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t bad, if that’s what you were asking.” She paused for a second before continuing. “It was definitely unexpected.” I chuckled and nodded. “That's for sure.”

She became quiet and I wondered why she all of a sudden stopped talking. “Did it make things awkward between us? ‘Cause if that’s the case, I’m so sorry.” She shook her head. “No no don’t be uh.. I mean, it was just a simple kiss, right?”

“Yeah! Yeah no I just.. it was in the heat of the moment. It was just us two and.. I just had to know – ”

“I get it. It’s not a big deal.” She smiled and looked back at the water in front of us and sighed. “I’m not.. quite there yet, you know?” She said. “What do you mean?”

“I mean.. I’m not.. I’m not trying to lead you on if you felt something. Quite frankly, I’m not looking to be in another relationship right now..”

“I know and again, I’m really sorry if it caught you off guard.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She smiled and got back into reading her book. So… it wasn’t bad. Okay, I can work with that. At least she didn’t push me off that night. That means she’s kind of moving on.. right? I’m glad it’s not as awkward as I thought it would be after that kiss because if it was, then I wouldn’t be able to try again.

I’m not backing down. Why should I? This is just something to keep me occupied until I find a better way to get my name in sparkling lights. Yeah I’m a little hurt that Joel and I aren’t friends anymore, I did like him, but I like my career a little bit more than our friendship.

After some time, she had ended up lying down on her back with the book covering her face. She looks so peaceful. I sat up and took out my phone, going straight to camera mode and held it above her. “I can’t believe I forgot my sunglasses.” She chuckled as I snapped a quick photo. “You’re a dork for that.”

“I’m aware.” I laughed and looked down at the picture, going straight to Instagram. Maybe if Joel sees it he’ll flip his shit.

johannvera: What a plot twist you were, @y/n ♥️

My dear old friend, sorry about this.

Let the heartbreak begin.

Next Chapter

Wanna be tagged for future fics?

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If I forgot anyone, please let me know! 💛

#cncowners #cnco #cnco imagines #joel pimentel #joel pimentel imagine #mistakes were made #joel pimentel imagines #joel pimentel series #joel fic #joel pimentel fic #richard camacho #cnco fic #cnco fanfic

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emybain · 5 years ago

Note

nodrian headcanons where they get to live slightly normally/where they get to take a little break from reality and just be "normal"

this was super fun to write! im a little bitter that they never got an actual, honest date in the series, so I decided to take that into my own hands. hope you like it:)

CONTAINS SUPERNOVA SPOILERS

Change is good. Change is good. Change is good.

Those three words were on a loop in Nova’s head. She stared at herself in the mirror, torn between liking the clothes on her body and wanting nothing more than to rip them off and put on leggings and a sweatshirt. It was nothing fancy, just a pair of acid washed jeans with a plain white t-shirt. She dressed it up a little bit with a necklace Honey had given her years ago and her father’s bracelet. The biggest issue was the bandana in her hair; Ruby had convinced her to buy it a few weeks ago because Nova liked the pattern. It was a simple light blue silky fabric with tiny pink flowers here and there. It was pretty, that was all. But Nova had seen how other girls had started wearing bandanas as hair accessories, and she kind of liked that, so she was now debating whether or not to keep the one she had bought tied in her hair.

She was going out on a date with Adrian for the first time since the Supernova and since they decided to break up to give one another time and figure things out. A couple weeks ago, he had casually mentioned that he was ready whenever she was, but he would wait for her. That had terrified her, honestly, and it wasn’t until a few days ago that she sent him a text telling him that she was ready, too.

Her therapist, a nice older lady named Liza, suggested the other day Nova do something to step outside of her comfort zone, like wearing something she normally wouldn’t wear. Change could be a good thing. She didn’t have to step too far out, but maybe baby steps at first. Like instead of wearing leggings, wear a pair of jeans. Or put on a small piece of jewelry. Or wear a color a shade lighter than normal.

There was a knock at her apartment door. Nova cursed and looked at herself once more in the mirror. She bit her bottom lip, hoping that maybe that would bring some color back into it. She sprayed herself with perfume and then left her room, grabbing her bag on the way out.

Adrian smiled at her when she opened the door, eyes widening as he looked her up and down. A blush crept onto her cheeks.

“Hi.”

There was a short pause, borderline awkward, before he said, “You look nice,” then held out an arm. “Ready to go? There’s this new restaurant in the historic downtown that I think you’d love.”

Feeling a rush of boldness, Nova grabbed his hand instead, lacing their fingers together. His smile brightened, and he squeezed her hand. “Ready.”

__________

Nova had only been to the old downtown a few times in her life. It used to be pretty rundown and sketchy, but in recent years, there had been a revival in the area. Now there were little coffee shops, antique stores, pubs, boutiques, and more spread out over one main and four side streets. The streets had been redone as well, paved with brick like how they used to be back in the day. The only modes of transportation allowed were by foot or by cheesy horse-drawn carriages. The area was like a little bubble away from the rest of the city. And it was stunning in the evening, as everything was lit up.

Dinner had been wonderful. Adrian took her to a burger place designed like an old-timey diner; there was even a jukebox that played music from another era. They had talked and laughed as they always did, as if nothing had really changed. After all, Adrian was still Nova’s best friend, and they had always kind of known that they would get back together one day, so nothing was awkward. The only thing that was different now than it had been in recent months was that Adrian sat beside her in their booth and held her hand, absentmindedly tracing her fingers. He even got bold enough to reach a hand down beneath the table to rest on her knee at one point while they ate. Nova never once protested at his affections.

Now they were strolling down the sidewalk, sharing an ice cream in a cup with two spoons. Adrian’s jacket was still resting on her shoulders from when she got cold in the restaurant.

“I’ve been talking with the people in weapons,” Nova said, licking her thumb as a little bit of ice cream dribbled down onto it. “They’re really interested in some of my designs, how they’re better for every day crime instead of targeting prodigies-”

“No Renegade talk,” Adrian said sternly, although there was humor in his eyes. He nudged her lightly. “Remember what we agreed on?” Right. They had agreed to not bring up the Renegades or the Council or the government or anything like that. They would have a normal date as normal teenagers and not as superheroes who were known worldwide.

Nova rolled her eyes and pushed him back. “Fine, bossy. What do you want to talk about?”

Adrian didn’t answer for a minute, although Nova could feel his intense gaze on her. “Your birthday’s coming up, right? May…?”

“27th.” Nova nodded. “But it’s March, Adrian.”

“It’s still coming up.” He shook his head with a slight laugh. “Are you going to do anything?”

She shrugged. “I don’t think so. Maybe go out to eat with the team, or Ruby might force me out of my apartment to do something.” With a tiny glance in his direction, she added, “Maybe have a date with my boyfriend.”

He stopped in his tracks, and they had to move to the edge of the sidewalk as to not block the pathway. He looked down at her, joy clearly written in his features that he was trying so hard to school. Nova bit her lip to hide her grin, although it wasn’t working too well.

“Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend, Nova Artino?” She could’ve sworn he puffed his chest out a bit, maybe even raised his chin a bit higher.

“Not anymore.” She snorted and pushed him away. Noticing that their ice cream was gone, she grabbed it out of his hands and threw it out in the trash can beside her. Then, she turned to leave him, jokingly of course. As expected, he pulled her back to him, arms encircling her waist. Her laughter died in her throat, but her smile remained.

“Yes,” she answered honestly this time. “Let’s make it official.”

“Are you ready for that?” The look he gave her was so sweet, so sincere. It only made Nova love him more. “It won’t be easy, at least with the public knowing about us. And I don’t want to rush you if you need more time.”

Nova shook her head firmly. She had noticed all night the looks people gave her, the confusion and elation and anger from all different kinds of faces at the sight of her with Adrian Everhart. Some probably still thought she hated the Renegades. Some saw hope at an Artino and an Everhart coming together out of love. Some were upset that a former villain should be allowed a chance at redemption and happiness. But she had been given those looks for months whenever she was in public with one of her friends, especially Adrian. She still wasn’t used to it, maybe she never would get used to it, but it had gotten easier.

“I want you, Adrian Everhart.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “All of you. And if that includes nosy people,” she shrugged, “then so be it. I won’t love you any differently.”

His hold on her waist tightened. He reached a hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, then let it rest on the back of her neck as he leaned down. Nova met him halfway, heart fluttering when he murmured so softly, just loud enough for her ears alone, “I’m so in love with you, Artino.”

The kiss was short and sweet, nothing more than a few gentle pecks. It had been a while since they had kissed, and Nova had to restrain herself from jumping in his arms and kissing him like there was no tomorrow. She knew, however, that they couldn’t. For one, they were in public. And two, there was probably a reporter hiding somewhere, camera at the ready. Nova wouldn’t be surprised if she found photos of her date with Adrian the next day, with their kiss blown up for the world to see.

But she didn’t care. Not in that moment.

__________

Adrian drove her home.

They sat in his car for a while, just talking. It was more private here. Nova allowed herself to be a bit more open with him, playing with his fingers as he recounted what Max had done the other day that got him grounded for a week.

“But my dads can barely keep the grounding serious.” Adrian shook his head in amusement. “Especially Hugh. They seem to ‘forget’ that Max is in trouble when he’s watching TV.”

Nova rolled her eyes. “I’m just glad to hear he’s adjusting okay, and that he’s not always a wise old man. It’s good for him to get in trouble.”

“I know.” Adrian chuckled. “But that still doesn’t mean I won’t preach the injustice with all the times I was grounded for doing the littlest of things.”

“You’re not exactly innocent, Mr. Everhart.” Nova narrowed her eyes at him. “You’ve had a few secrets up your sleeve. Literally.”

She tried to maintain her neutral expression as Adrian shifted his body a bit closer. “Oh, we’re going to play that game, huh?”

“I’m just saying,” she started, smile creeping onto her lips, but her defense was soon forgotten when he placed a hand on her cheek. Instinctively, she leaned into his touch. “But none of that matters anymore, right? No more secrets.”

Adrian’s lips quirked up. Her eyes were immediately drawn to them. “No more secrets,” he repeated softly. Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on her cheek. “Skies, I’ve missed you, Nova.” He pulled back a bit to face her. “I know we agreed that breaking up was for the best, and being just friends while figuring this shit out helped a ton, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t also agonizing to not be able to be with you in that way.”

Nova rested her forehead on his, feeling her neck heat up. “I missed you, too,” she murmured. “But now we have mostly everything figured out.” She paused. “I meant it when I said earlier that I’m ready.”

He kissed her, slow yet not long enough. “You’re so beautiful, Nova.”

Nova beamed against his lips and kissed him back, a bit harder than before. He responded with enthusiasm; the hand on her cheek pulled off her bandana and reached back to dig into her hair. She melted under his touch, becoming completely putty in his arms. It was hard to keep her composure. After all, it had been months since she had been this intimate with someone, as Adrian was her last.

His lips wandered down to her throat, leaving her trembling. When he was sly enough to gently pull her skin in between his teeth, Nova couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped her mouth. As her hand trailed up his back underneath his shirt, she had a brief thought to invite him in to watch a movie or something. It wasn’t too terribly late, and they still had a lot of catching up to do. But then she felt his fingers graze her hip and rest just underneath her bra as he rose back up to kiss her deeply, and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to be lost in Adrian Everhart.

However, they were in his car outside her apartment complex. His windows didn’t exactly grant them privacy. Really, it wasn’t the most romantic setting for their activity.

Sighing against him, she broke the kiss. His eyes blinked open in surprise, chest rising and falling as heavily as hers. He frowned at her.

Before he could start asking questions, Nova brought a hand to push his glasses up. Her fingers may or may not have accidentally brushed his lips when her hand fell to his cheek. She tried to catch her breath even as she spoke. “How about we go inside where it’s more...appropriate? Watch a movie, maybe?”

Adrian glanced at their surroundings and nodded. They shared a sheepish smile, then headed inside.

They weren’t an hour into the movie before they passed out on the couch cuddling, nothing but a tangled mess of blankets and limbs.

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #supernova spoilers #Adrian everhart #nova artino #nodrian #osby #tuckva #ruby tucker #danna bell #Oscar silva #anarchists #max everhart #my writing #asks

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 6 years ago

Text

The Breakup Song - Harry Styles Two Shot (Part 1)

Harry knew of the risk he was getting ready take in front of millions of people and eventually the internet. However, it was mostly risky for that fact that you would see and hear it. It was the night he was doing double duty for SNL, being both the host and the musical guest. He was a little nervous at first, but it was mostly from adrenaline and excitement for what was to come. He had practiced and worked so hard all week long and couldn’t wait to finally do the live show.

Except for one part. The second song he would be performing that night. It was a song off of his upcoming sophomore album and it had never been heard before by anyone other than the few who he’s already had listen to the album. The song he would be performing was without a doubt the most personal song he had ever written and that was on the album.

He had ran the idea over and over in his head countless of times on whether he should perform it or not, but while it was the most personal on the album, it was also his favorite. It was a song he had written in a short time in the middle of the night. He hadn’t been able to sleep, so instead of fighting it, he got up, poured himself a glass of wine and sat down at his piano.

At first, he started just messing out with different chords when he came across something that he liked. He took a sip of his wine as he wrote down the different notes and chords he was playing, when he noticed something in the corner of his eye. It was something he hadn’t even realized was still there, a photo of you and him on your first holiday together.

That photo was one of his favorites because it was right after you two told each other you loved the other for the first time. You two were watching the sunset in the backyard of your little bungalow on the beach. His arms were wrapped around you and you laced your fingers with his. There was nothing but the sound of the wind and the waves as you two sat together. When finally, Harry whispered those three words into your ear.

You paused for a second, making sure you heard him correctly, before looking back at him. His eyes were filled with love and worry as he looked into your eyes. You smiled pressing your forehead to his and repeating those same three words to him. After a few kisses were shared in celebration, you took out the old polaroid camera you always carried around to capture private moments.

You held it in selfie mode, hoping you would get both of your faces in it. As soon as you clicked to take the photo, Harry smirked kissing your cheek instead of looking at the camera. When he got home, he put the photo in a frame and it hasn’t been moved sense.

Which is probably why it was still in the same place even after your breakup over six months ago. He got up from his seat at the piano to pick up the picture frame. He opened it up taking the polaroid out of the frame to hold in his hand.

He missed you. God, he fucking missed you. He missed sleeping next to you and waking up to you in the morning. He missed cooking breakfast in nothing but underwear with you. He missed going to your shows and seeing you out in the crowd at his. He missed the way he felt whenever he was you, like he could get through anything with you by his side. Like he was the best version of himself whenever he was with you. He missed making love with you under the moonlight shining into the bedroom. He missed your laugh and your smile.

He just missed you. Honestly, your breakup would have hurt him less had it been a messy one. The truth was there was no cheating, no argument, no words said that couldn’t ever be taken back. It just ended. Life happened and got in the way and both of you just drifted apart. You were out on tour and Harry was in the studio starting to really work on his album.

There were days that passed without a even a simple text from the other and when you two finally did have a conversation, it was awkward and distant. There wasn’t even really an official breakup, just a suggestion that maybe it was best for the two of you to take time apart, that maybe that moment in your lives wasn’t the best for a relationship.

Your two year long relationship, just ended it. At first, Harry didn’t know how to react. He didn’t know how he felt. It wasn’t until he said it out loud to his mother for the first time that it really hit him that it was over. And that’s when he broke down in his childhood home with his mother’s arms wrapped around him.

“Sometimes, people drift apart,” Anne whispered. “Sometimes people change, it doesn’t mean their love as changed, but sometimes the people just aren’t right for one another. I know this hurts, now, sweetheart, but one day, if you two are meant to be together, you will find your way back to each other.”

Reminiscing all of those memories had tears flooding down his face. God, he felt absolutely pathetic sitting there in his fluffy robe, drinking wine at his piano, holding a photo of him and his ex. But he knew the only way he would ever be able to get out of this mindset that night, he would need to take all of his feelings he was feeling in that moment and pour them out onto the page.

And that’s exactly what he did.

Harry was halfway through the show now and he was just about to go on next to sing the song. It was too late to look back now and to change the song. He bit his lip as he debated on sending you a quick heads up text, but he wasn’t sure how you would take it. He had spoken to you since you packed up your things from his house. You two hadn’t really moved into together, but you each had a few things at the other’s house for when you stayed together.

He hadn’t even told you about the song, which he felt bad about, but how was he supposed to bring it up. Just send a text or call you and say, ‘oh by the way, there’s song about our breakup and how much I still love you and miss you, and want to make love to you to make up for all the time we lost, and I’m sorry this wasn’t our time, but maybe one day it will be our time again,’, like he didn’t exactly think that would go over well.

But he also wasn’t sure this approach would go over well either. Either way, though, he was fucked and he just loved putting himself in those situations. The sound of his name, brought him out of his thoughts and it was time for him to head to the stage for his performance. He took a deep breath, shook out his nerves a little bit, and walked out of the dressing room and onto the stage.

He stood at the microphone, the spotlight on him, as the soft melody began playing on the piano behind him. He closed his eyes as he gripped onto the mic and the stand as he waited for his cue. His hands were shaking as he the first lyrics of the song came out of his mouth.

Throughout the entire song, he felt his voice becoming shaky as his emotions took over. He could feel tears forming in his eyes, so he kept them closed tightly to keep them from falling down his face. Once the song was over and he hit his final note, he finally opened his eyes as two single tears trickled down his face as he stared into the camera.

You were currently in your hotel room at one of your final stops on tour for the year, when you found yourself in a dilemma. You were highly debating on turning on the TV to watch your ex, Harry, on SNL. You knew how big of an accomplishment this was for him and deep down you wish you were there for him. You had performed double duty in the past and you knew how nerve-wracking and fun it was to be on there. But even if you weren’t on tour, you wouldn’t have felt right in going or reaching out to him knowing you two hadn’t spoken in months.

People said it would get easier as time went on. That your heart would heal and eventually you would be in a better place having moved on from your relationship that didn’t work out. You were still waiting on that moment. The moment you heart wouldn’t ache at the thought of him. The moment you wouldn’t long for his touch or the smell of his cologne. The moment you wouldn’t live with the regret of letting your relationship fall apart.

It wasn’t solely your fault and you knew that, but you also knew you didn’t go out of your way to change anything either. You currently were holding the tv remote in your hand, knowing the show was about to start. Luckily, you were ending your tour in the states, so there wasn’t really a crazy time zone issue.

Before you could turn the tv on, there was a knock on the door. You groaned walking over and peeking through the peep hole seeing your hairstylist, Nicki, and your stylist, Haven.

You unlocked the door, opening it, “Yes?” You asked.

“Good you’re still dressed,” Nicki said. “Come on, let’s go out.”

“Um- no,” you said.

“Um, yes,” Haven said. “We know exactly what you’re wanting to do and now is not the time.”

“Actually, now is the time,” you said. “It’s about to start.”

“Y/N, you’re still grieving over this relationship, do you honestly think seeing him on the screen for almost two hours is going to be a good thing for you?” Haven asked.

She did have a point, but-

“No, but’s,” Haven said. “We both know I’m right and everything will mostly likely be on youtube in the morning, so you could easily watch those if you wanted, but at least you can watch it in small doses.”

You sighed, “Let me grab my coat and purse.”

After a night of hanging out at a local karaoke bar, you were a bit drunk, not blackout drunk, but you were definitely feeling the drinks you consumed. When you got back to your hotel, you undressed and got into bed before looking at your phone. It didn’t take long before you noticed your mentions on literally every social media you had was blowing up.

Your first thought was someone had taken your picture at the bar and news of your whereabouts were spreading, but every single mention involved Harry. Nausea creeped up in stomach as you sat up, scrolling through.

“OH MY GOD. HIS VOICE WAS SO SHAKY AND HE WAS CRYING LITERAL TEARS. MY BABY! #HarryOnSNL”

“THAT SONG WAS SO HEARTBREAKING AND I’M 99.9% SURE ITS ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH Y/N #HarryOnSNL”

“It’s obvious Harry and Y/N still love each other. Can they please just get back together and be happy! #HarryonSNL”

“His hands. Look at his hands. They were literally shaking with nervous and he looks so sad. #HarryonSNL”

As if those tweets were bad enough, there were also multiple trending topics on twitter, HarrylovesY/N, Harry&Y/Nforever, Y/Ship/Name, etc. The nausea in your stomach starting creeping up even more and you rushed straight into the bathroom. Now, you weren’t sure if it was because of the night’s drinking or the fact Harry had obviously sang a song about you on SNL. And it’s not that he only did that, but he was also emotional about it.

In a lot of the tweets, there were snippets of video taken from the episode. You quickly scrolled away from them because you couldn’t bring yourself to watch them. If you were going to listen or watch his performance, you would wait until you could watch it in it’s entirety and when you’re not slightly drunk, emotional, and throwing up in the bathroom.

Once your stomach settled a little bit, you turned off your phone, and went to bed, softly crying yourself to sleep.

During the afterparty of SNL, Harry was trying to have a good time, but he was distracted by his phone. He saw all the trending topics and all the tweets to you about the song. He knew this was going to happen and he knew it would only be a matter of time before you seen everything and heard the song. Once again he debated about reaching out to you, but he thought it would be better to let some time go by before he did.

So, he put his phone in his pocket and tried his best to enjoy what was left of the afterparty.

Later that morning, when you woke up, your head was pounding. However, you were pretty sure that was more from crying than the drinking. You pulled yourself out of bed, into the bathroom to brush your teeth before getting into the shower. You had a towel wrapped around you, when you heard a knock on the door again. You grabbed your robe to replace the towel and went to answer it.

It was Nicki and Haven again, with coffee and breakfast in their hands.

“Hey,” you whispered answering the door.

“Hey,” they said. “We uh, thought you could use some company this morning.”

You knew, that they knew about the tweets, the trending topics, and the performance. You weren’t sure if they’ve watched it yet, but you knew they were there for you, so that you could.

You sat in the bed, legs crossed, as you nibbled on your muffin.

“So... uh... do you think you’re ready?” Haven asked.

“I-I don’t know,” you sighed. “Just last night you two said I shouldn’t watch it, and now, maybe I shouldn’t.”

“Yes,” Nicki said. “We did say that, but we meant the live show. And we also didn’t know there was going to be a song about you. I mean, thank god, we didn’t let you watch it. I can only imagine what would have happened if you heard it live without knowing about it.”

“Have you listened to it?” You asked looking at them.

They both looked at each other before nodding, “Only because we wanted to know what it was, so we could warn you... if it was bad.”

“Is it?” you sighed.

“No,” she answered. “It’s far from it.”

“Do you think I should watch it?” You asked.

“I think that if you don’t, this song is the only thing you’re going to think about today,” she said.

You sighed, “Okay, hand me my phone.”

You went to youtube and sure enough there was the video of his performance as soon as you opened up the app. You took a deep breath as your finger lingered over the video for a moment before you finally got the courage to click it.

The entire time you watched the video, you were holding your breath. You didn’t really realize it until the end, when you let it out, along with the tears that had formed. As if the song wasn’t bad enough, in the emotional sense, seeing Harry’s body language throughout his performance didn’t help either. Those tweets were right, he was shaking and getting emotional as he sang it.

There were mentions of some of your favorite memories together, how it came to an end, how he wanted the ache in his chest to go away, but the only way it would happen is if you were in his arms again.

“Every night I lay in our bed, thinking about how I want your head laying next to mine as we fall asleep, dreaming about how we’re meant to be. I know they say sometimes love runs outs, but I hope to god that you never doubt that my heart beats for only you. I want your love more than you could ever know and I hate myself for letting you go.” (I know, I know, these “lyrics” are cringe, but work with me here.”

You placed your phone down with a shaky hand. You expected this, you expected it to be about you, your relationship, and his feelings. But what you didn’t expect was for him to lay everything out like that. You didn’t know how to take this, how to feel about it. You felt the exact same way. You wanted to be with Harry more than anything, but you also knew there was a reason on why you two ended in the first place.

“How are you feeling?” Haven whispered.

“Emotional,” you half laughed. “I-god, I don’t fucking know.”

“You don’t have to feel anything right now,” Nicki said. “You’re allowed to take your time. I mean that was a lot... for anyone to take in.”

“I think.. I think I just need some time to myself,” you whispered.

“Are you sure?” Haven asked.

You nodded, “I’ll see you two for the show tonight.”

The entire day after SNL, Harry felt sick to his stomach. He hadn’t heard from you, not that he was really expecting it, but he was sort of hoping he would. The videos and tweets had blown up even more and he knew that more than likely you had seen it by now or you refused to watch it. If you had watch it, he felt a little hurt that you wouldn’t reach out to him, but he couldn’t blame you because he didn’t know if he could actually bring himself to contact you if it were the other way around.

“Do you think I fucked up?” Harry sighed to Jeff as they sat over lunch.

“With?” He asked.

“Singing the song about Y/N,” he whispered.

“No,” Jeff sighed. “When it came down to which songs you were going to perform, that was the first one that popped out of your mouth and even after debating with yourself over it, you still felt it was the one you wanted to do.”

“I know,” he said. “But-I just... I didn’t think it would cause this type of reaction. The majority are nice, but there are some bashing Y/N for breaking my heart... like I didn't want that.”

“Harry, you know you can control the actions and reactions of other’s to your music,” he said. “But I do think you need to contact Y/N and clear the air. You’re going to keep feeling like shit until you talk to her about this and I know you’re waiting on her to reach out, but honestly, if she doesn’t reach out to you in a few days, then you need to be the one to do it. I mean, you would look like a bigger ass, if you didn’t.”

“Thanks for that, Jeff,” Harry mumbled.

The entire day, you laid in the bed of your hotel room, listening to the song. You couldn’t bare to watch the video, to see him physically singing the lyrics to you. Everything he was saying in that song, was what you wished he had said all those months ago. Hell, you wish you said those things yourself because had one of you did, you wouldn’t be in the emotional state you were in.

You thought about reaching out to him, but you couldn't do it. You had no idea what you would even say to him and there was no way you would be able to hear his voice without crying other. You just needed to get through the final show that night and then you would be headed back to LA in the morning. By then you would hopefully have your thoughts in order.

Later that night, Harry was about to head to LA for some other appearances and interviews for promo, he noticed his mentions were filling up again. He thought about ignoring it, knowing it was more than likely people still talking about the song and you. However, something inside of him told him to check it before he got on the plane.

His heart stopped as he saw a tweet with a video of you at your show that night. That’s right, he quickly remembered that it was your final show that night. He put in his headphones and clicked on the video.

“Before I start this next song, I uh, I want to say a little something,” you started. You were sitting on a stool at the end of the catwalk, holding your guitar as the spotlight shined on you. “This next song is a song I haven’t performed in a while. I stopped performing it because it was... it was hard for me because of something going on in my personal life. But I just want to say that, I’m still a little broken inside, but uh... I’m going to be okay. It may not be tonight, or tomorrow, but I know that one day I will be okay. There’s a quote from one of my favorite tv shows that as always meant a lot to me and in this particular moment of my life, I feel like it fits perfectly. Peyton Sawyer once said that people always leave, and she was right. We all go through life dealing with losing friends or loved ones, getting our heartbroken, etc. But sometimes, those people will come back. If they love you enough and if you love them enough, there will be a day when you find your way back to each other. And life is too short to keep waiting for that day, so if there’s someone in your life that you miss, don’t waste another second without them in your life. Just.. tell them.”

After your speech, you started strumming your guitar and sang the very first song that you wrote about Harry. The very song you stopped performing mid tour because it broke you too much to get through it after the breakup. Harry didn’t know what to think in that moment. He knew you were still on stage and he was about to board a plane. He needed to see you, to hear your voice, to tell you everything he wanted to say, but it was too late at the moment.

He would just have to keep waiting.

The second you were off stage, everyone was hugging you and congratulating you on the end of another successful tour. Normally, you would have an end of the tour party, but luckily you had arranged that to be back in LA. Originally, you were going to wait and fly out tomorrow morning, but you decided on leaving right after the show. You just couldn’t face going back to that hotel room.

On the car ride to the airport, you stared at Harry’s contact in your phone. Your old texts to each other were still there because you never could bring yourself to delete them. You bit your lip knowing this wasn’t exactly how you wanted to break the silence between the two of you after so long, but it would have to do for now. You took a deep breath before typing your message to him and clicking send.

As soon as Harry was off the plane, his phone buzzed in his pocket as he pulled his carryon on back over his shoulder. He stepped to the side and took it out. His knees nearly buckled when he saw your name come across the screen. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he unlocked his phone to view the message.

I love you, too.

Thoughts?? There will be a part two! Not sure when I’ll post it, but it will be this week! :)

#One Direction Imagines #Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles One shots

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gustafsnightangel · 5 years ago

Text

Shattered Lives Ch 11 Pt 2

He crawled back into bed and finally settled, watching the short video of them in bed before he left over and over again, that laugh, her smile, the way she looked at him.

“See you in my dreams love.” He whispered into the night.

He thought of their day today, the smiling faces, Sildie so happy as sleep took him under.

Sunday was a blur. He didn’t have time to think about calling Sildie let alone actually call her. By the time he fell through the door to his hotel room he just wanted to shower and pass out. He sent her a quick text on the car ride to the hotel saying exactly that. Her quick text back was one of understanding and a picture of the kids on the couch making faces at him. He was beat to hell but it made him smile.

Tomorrow was a travel day so there would be some time off to at least take a damn breath. Press junkets were brutal and that was his life for the next five weeks. Travel, interviews, sleep, rinse repeat. At least he had Daisy to keep his mind in work mode.

He’d slept like the dead and felt better for it. Standing in a towel he smiled at the incoming text from Sildie that simply said “text me when you land”. There could be no doubt the woman loved him and he needed to stop trying to find it. He needed to stop doubting her feelings for him and stop doubting himself. The photo with the text must have been taken this morning which showed the kids ready for school and Sildie in a suit all lawyered up for court.

“Damn woman you make me so fucking hard.” He muttered as his cock twitched.

He smirked and took a quick photo of himself in the postage stamp sized towel wrapped at his hips, still dripping wet from his shower and sent it to her.

Now that’s just playing dirty.

Her text read.

He smiled while he dressed, texting her back.

You started it when you lawyered up. You know what that does to me.

Yes I do

She giggled as she stepped into court.

He sat for meditation, feeling the calm wash over him he let all the anxiety from the past week bubble up and release. It would take more to release the pain from Ana but he had five weeks to work that out of his system. He was determined to get rid of it before setting foot back into Sildies life. The exercise session he had planned for this afternoon would deal with that side of things. He had to get his anger and emotions under control again.

Seated on the plane next to Daisy he pulled out his notebook and started to write. An old habit that had helped him through some of the worst times in his life. It was mainly mindless crap that buzzed around his head, he needed to get all these thoughts out so he could process them. Writing made it easier, it also made the time go quicker. Keeping the mind as well as the body busy was key.

Daisy and Gustaf went straight from the airport to the interviews as the schedule was tight. He only had time in the car to text Sildie to say he’d landed. There was no answer as she was more than likely still in court. It was one of those times where their schedules wouldn’t align.

It was the usual whirlwind of questions regarding the show, fans outside screaming, cameras in his face. He was used to it and it didn’t take long for his mind to focus on what he was here to do.

He was tired when he finally stepped through the hotel room door. Normal tired which was better than the emotional exhaustion he’d felt over the last few days. He casually dumped his bag on the bed and stopped dead. On the small table was a single yellow gerbera and three daisies in a slim vase. His mouth twitched into a full on grin. She’d sent him flowers, it had to be her.

He moved to the table and ran a fingertip seductively under a petal of the gerbera as if it were her chin. His heart lurched, she was trying to cheer him up and all the emotions he felt for her got stuck in his throat. His gaze fell on the envelope propped up against the vase, her own elegant handwriting calling to him. He looked around the room expecting to find her standing there.

“Don’t be a dumbass.” He chuckled, smiling. “She’s not here you fool.”

He pulled the tiny card out of the envelope and it simply read

I miss your kiss.

“You undo me love.” He whispered, his emotions choking him.

Never had anyone sent him such a gift, it floored him. Something so simple yet so thoughtful.

He looked at the time back home and realized she’d still be at work. He texted her a photo of the flowers with an “I miss yours too”, and he did, he missed kissing her. Missed everything about her, about the kids. He took out his wallet and placed the note in the back sleeve. He needed to keep it close, keep her close.

The week went by in a flash. He’d barely had a moment where he could text Sildie let alone skype with her. Even the weekend consumed him and before he knew it four Fridays had come and gone and he’d not Skyped her or the kids once. So much for his plan, their schedules didn’t jive, and their careers were determined to keep them apart.

Texting her and sharing photos was one thing but he’d promised her and the kids he’d call and he hadn’t. Four weeks, four different cities, four sets of flowers and cards waiting for him and he hadn’t done shit for her apart from a few texts and photos here and there. He’d done nothing for the kids and that weighed on him heavily, he felt like shit, like he’d let them down or didn’t care which wasn’t the case.

“Fuck!” He scrubbed his hand over his face as he stared at the fifth card after just landing and entering his hotel room.

I miss your voice love.

It was late and he knew she was probably asleep but he opened his laptop anyway and hit dial. He toyed with all five cards she’d sent him.

I miss your kiss.

I miss your touch.

I miss your smile.

I miss your voice.

I miss your arms around me.

“Don’t tell me I’ve fucking blown it.” He muttered quietly as the line kept ringing. “You idiot, you fucking idiot.” He spat at himself, that uncontrollable rage sparking within him.

After a long moment her face appeared on the screen. He’d woken her up, he could see that clearly. The barely awake look, the dark circles under her eyes telling him she hadn’t been sleeping well, and her robe hastily pulled on.

“Hey.” She smiled a tired smile and yawned.

“I woke you up I’m sorry love. I’m so sorry, I got caught up, it’s been madness and it’s no excuse I should have called you sooner.” He was so angry at himself.

“It’s ok, I’ve seen your schedule, it’s a wonder you have time to breathe. Are you ok?”

Her voice held no anger, just concern, she knew his schedule and be damned if she was going to be the needy whiny bitch that made him feel bad for doing his job. That wasn’t who she was and she wouldn’t become it now just because she was lonely without him. A guilt trip was the last thing he needed.

“I’m better now seeing you, hearing your voice.” He smiled and her face lit up. “Thank you for the notes, it was sweet of you.” His smile made her face light up. “I see you and Daisy have hit it off well.” He chuckled knowing full well it was her that had set it up on his end of things.

“Don’t be mad at her, she’s been a great partner in crime and shenaniganry.” Her giggle made his heart swell.

“Partner in crime huh? What else do you have planned?”

“You’ll have to wait and see.” She paused and studied him for a moment. He looked tired but he was more relaxed now the anger at himself had dissipated, maybe it was her that made him anxious, was he better off without her she wondered? Not a thought she wanted to dwell on or even entertain.

“I’m sorry I haven’t called for our Friday tea dates I know we had planned to do that too.” His fingers itched to graze against her cleavage that was barely covered. She hadn’t noticed but he sure had.

“Gustaf it’s fine. I’ve been balls to the wall with this case and nose deep in reading, I’ve barely had time for the kids myself. Life happens, we’re making it work in our own way.” She wanted to reach through the screen and touch him, hold him, reassure him. “Our schedules just don’t line up love.”

“I just...” He blew a breath out. “I just thought I’d fucked this up, us up, you know?” His voice choked.

“Look at me.” She murmured. “You haven’t fucked anything up.”

“But the kids.” He blurted out, he felt like shit for that alone. “I promised I’d call.”

“The kids are fine. They love the photos you send of all the different places you’re visiting and I explained to them the time difference and your schedule. They get it, we get it, and we’re not going anywhere.” She smiled at him and saw the relief.

“They’re looking forward to seeing you when you get back. It’s all they talk about most days. The twins are marking it off on a calendar.” Her laugh lightened the burning guilt he felt. “They’re looking forward to double birthday pancakes by the way, I hope you have time Wednesday to come around in the morning.”

“I’ll make time for birthday pancakes, it is Lilys birthday as well after all.” He studied her and saw the grief just below the surface.

“I know it’s going to be a tough week for all of you that week so on Friday I’d like to take everyone out for some fun.” He said and watched her closely. He didn’t want to step over a line. “The kids have the day from school right?”

“I think that’s brilliant. We’ll all need a little fun by then.” She had no clue how she was going to handle it. She had a sort of plan but to be honest with herself she was winging it. “And yes they’re home Wednesday through Friday.”

“Have the kids been skiing or sledding?” He asked and started to make notes.

“They used to I think. I can ask? A fun day in the snow?” She asked, that beautiful smile beaming back at him.

“Snow, fun, ice cream, hot chocolate, maybe a snowman or four.” And a snowball fight he thought, the boys would be down for that.

“Sounds perfect.”

“No, perfect would be you, me and a cozy fire where I could make love to you all night.” He said in that low tone she loved.

“You’re right that does sound pretty perfect.” She yawned.

“Damn I miss you Sildie.” He said softly and looked at her.

“I miss you too. There’s an ache in my chest that won’t go away when you’re not here.” That ache had lodged itself in there as she watched him drive away from the hockey rink.

“Then I’ll have to make it go away when I get back, as long as you make mine go away too, ok? I feel it too love and it’s killing me.” He murmured.

“I think I can manage that. One week left right?” She asked gently.

“Yes, thank fuck. I’m ready for it to be done and back with you and the kids. At least it’s closer to home and only a two hour flight to get back.”

“Back Monday still?” She had her fingers crossed as this was all tied into her plan for his first night back.

“Monday yes.” He knew she was up to something and was looking forward to seeing what she had planned.

“You should go back to bed love.” He murmured as she stifled a yawn. “I’m sorry I woke you out of my fucking mind.”

“You can wake me anytime love.” Her smile sincere.

“Go and sleep.”

“Don’t want to.” She snorted. “The only thing I have to do tomorrow is read and get the kids out of the apartment for a few hours so they don’t drive me stir crazy. I might take them to the park for a bit they like it down there.”

“Go and sleep love. I’ll try and call tomorrow.” He urged. “I don’t like seeing you so tired.”

“I’ll be ok but yes I need to go and sleep even though I want to stay up and stare at your handsome face a little longer.” His grin was wide and shy.

“And I’ve embarrassed you.” She chuckled.

“You’re beautiful Sildie.”

“Only to you love.”

“Goodnight.”

“Night, go sleep.” He disconnected the call and blew out a breath.

He stared at the gerbera and toyed with the cards some more. He’d make it up to them, even though she was ok with it deep down he wasn’t, he still felt he’d let them down. He slipped her cards back into his wallet where they lived and opened his laptop. He sent flowers to Sildie and a few smaller things to the kids. They would get them before he planned on calling them tomorrow. He knew gifts didn’t make it better but it was all he could do right now.

Even though it was late he headed to the gym and worked the bag. He felt as if he’d made progress these past few weeks dealing with his Ana issues but knew it was going to take more work when he got home. He’d been lax in that department since meeting Sildie and he couldn’t let it get to that point of losing control again.

Her grief was one thing but his baggage with Ana was another, and he had to fucking deal with it to move on with Sildie. At least he’d reigned in the anger and anxiety and got it under control. He’d need that going home and into a week of grief. He came back to his room and showered feeling much more relaxed and found sleep took him easily.

He called the kids on Sunday morning as one of his interviews had been rescheduled for Tuesday. He got to hear about everything they’d been up to, lots of laughs and smiles. He apologized for not calling and it seemed to be a non issue. As Sildie had said, they got it, they understood. Toys and flowers had arrived as planned and it made his day brighter seeing them happy.

He came back to the hotel Monday evening irritated. Ridiculous questions about sibling rivalry, it was getting old. He knew he’d been short with the reporter but when you’ve been asked the same fucking question for years the response of just google it had become his new standard answer.

He sat at the table and after taking his shoes off he noticed a new, larger card resting against the vase. A smile tugged at his lips. He’d have to give Daisy a bonus for this.

He carefully pulled the card from the envelope and groaned. It wasn’t just a card it was a 3x4 black and white postcard of Sildie. But not just any old portrait, no that would have been nice, sweet perhaps, this was fucking gorgeous and erotically wicked.

It was a boudoir shot of her sprawled on a bed, face down, legs bent up at the knees, the black lace crop top and g string a stark contrast against her skin. All her curves on display, the swell of her ass, those long legs sheathed in thigh high stockings and heels crossed at the ankles, arms out in front of her, hands fisted in the sheets. Her face tilted to one side toward the camera, eyes looking soulfully down the lens, that halo of copper artistically sprawled, lips slightly parted. His hands ached as he flexed his fingers, he knew the feel of those curves, the touch of her skin, he would sell his soul to the lowest bidder to touch her right now.

He’d need a cold shower in a moment or take care of business himself he was so hard for her. It was one thing to look at a boudoir shot of a woman, it was another to look at that shot when you knew what it felt like to be inside her, hearing her come, feeling her body against yours.

“And that’s just how I’m going to fuck you when I get home kitten.” He murmured, all his previous irritation of the day gone in a heartbeat.

He knew she was busy with work and kids so a text would have to be enough.

That’s not playing fair love.

She grinned as she heard his text tone. He would have seen the photo no doubt. She giggled as she read it.

“Wait until you get a load of Sunday’s photo.” She murmured.

Who said anything about playing fair? I think you started it by texting me a picture of you in a very skimpy hotel towel.

He laughed. “Well now, game on I guess.”

You might get more than you bargained for. And for the record, you started it by texting me a picture of you all lawyered up. You know what that does to me.

“So might you love.” Her smile was playful.

I sure hope so and I was going to work. Not my fault you have dirty thoughts when you see me like that.

“Be careful what you wish for.” He grinned.

Will you be wearing pictured outfit Monday?

She nibbled her bottom lip and smiled.

Perhaps.

“Such a tease.” He muttered and the grin widened.

You’re such a tease.

She had to pause for a moment to go and change Lily and get the kids to bed. This conversation was making her horny and she’d have to satisfy herself tonight if it kept going.

He stripped and made himself a tea while he waited for her to reply. It was around the kids bedtime so he knew she had shit to get done. With tea made he sat naked on the one seat staring at the photo with a raging hard on.

“Oh you love it.” She giggled.

And you love it.

“I love you sweet lady, so very much.” He smiled.

Shall I tell you what that photo makes me want to do to you?

She bit her bottom lip and groaned as the words appeared on her screen.

It makes me want to straddle those long legs and have my hard cock brush your thighs, rest there taunting you. To kiss a trail up your spine and bite that one spot on your neck that makes you tremble for me. It makes me want to pull that pair of panties aside and stroke my finger along your pussy to feel how wet you are for me. To part your legs slightly so I can plunge into you, feel you tight around me. It makes me want to fist my fingers in your hair and fuck you hard. To make you come again and again until you’re screaming my name.

“God.” She choked out, that was so fucking hot she found herself breathing hard and her pussy aching for him to touch it, take her over the edge. What made it hotter was she knew he’d growl it in that low timbre that made her pussy quiver.

Now who’s teasing.

“I haven’t even started yet.” He chuckled. “But I’m about to see that you’re satisfied tonight love.”

I’m only just getting started. Are you alone?

Yes

Kids asleep?

Yes

What are you wearing?

I’m lawyered up as you would say.

Even better. Do you know why that makes me so hard?

No.

Because I know what’s under it. Your body bound in black lace. It’s a fucking turn on.

She could only imagine the smirk on his face, that mischievous glint in his eyes.

Close the hall door.

It’s closed.

Good, now do exactly what I tell you to do.

He grinned as he typed.

Sit down on the couch.

I’m sitting.

Undo the top three buttons of that see through blouse I know you’re teasing me with. Brush a finger over a nipple and pinch it through the black lace. I long to feel your breasts in my hands again, suck that nipple into my mouth. Unzip those suit pants I know you have on and spread your legs wide love, just as if you were straddling me. Slip a hand down between skin and lace and dip a finger in to feel how wet you are for me. Stroke that finger over your pussy and let it sink inside you. Let your other hand find its way to your panties, let a finger circle your clit as a second finger joins the first in your pussy. Find that rhythm that makes you tremble, makes you quiver for me.

He pictured her there on her couch bringing herself to orgasm. Shirt half undone, hands busy between those thighs where he should be. He stroked his cock keeping himself hard. He would find his own release in a moment.

Slip another finger inside, feel it stretch you. Thrust them deep as you circle your clit feeling that pleasure ripple thought you. Let your hips buck and grind, I ache to grip your hips and fuck you hard. Come for me love, come for me hard.

She closed her eyes and remembered the feel of him, the smell of him, that clever mouth as it destroyed her. Remembered his cock pounding into her, the way it stretched her. With a soft cry of his name she came hard. Six weeks was way too long to be away from him.

She sat there and got her breath back keeping an ear out for the kids, nothing as usual.

You’re evil.

His laugh echoed around the hotel room.

Ahh but are you satisfied?

If you meant did I come yes, satisfied, no, because you’re not here touching me.

Well we have to make do with the situation presented to us.

I hate to do this but I have to get my reading done before bed.

Go read, go work, because when I’m finally home Monday and we’re alone, I’m going to ravage you until you can’t walk.

And that was the truth. He wanted that Monday with her, only her.

Tease.

“Oh kitten I’m not teasing. It’s a promise.” He grinned.

Goodnight love, and I’m not teasing.

Goodnight, I’ll have to return the favor tomorrow.

Your photo is enough, or it will be here shortly. You’re beautiful Sildie.

Only to you.

He needed release after that. Turning the shower on he stepped under the hot spray. Leaning a forearm against the cold tile he gripped his erection and pumped his hand up and down his shaft. Between the photo and their texted conversation he was ready to find release quickly.

His thoughts drifted to the feel of her, the way she gave her body to him to pleasure, to find his own. With a few loose grunts and a long groan he came hard.

Tuesday he came back to the hotel later than he wanted, but dinner with certain people had to be observed. There was no getting out of it. When he walked through the door he was tired.

He smiled at the simple note propped up against the vase.

Five more days to go.

They’d gone from five weeks to five days, home stretch.

“It can’t go fast enough.” He muttered and he texted her the same message.

He was at his hotel room late again Wednesday. He changed as soon as he got in the door and went down to go a round or two with the bag. He was preparing himself for next week and the emotional stability he needed to find to be in full control.

He showered and scrubbed the day off before making tea and setting it on the table beside another note and a small package. He smiled, Sildie had gone to great lengths to orchestrate this little seduction.

I miss your body next to mine.

He opened the tiny package and laughed, his grin wide at the black lace g string inside with its own note.

These are from after you rocked my world from afar Monday night.

“Oh love you are too much.” And he felt his cock twitch.

It was too late to call or text her now, but his dreams would be filled with the vision of her pleasuring herself on the couch.

Thursday he came back to another photo, equally as breathtaking. She was in a black lace teddy, thigh high stockings, and heels. That alone got him hard. She was laying on the bed, those beautiful long legs stretched up the headboard, crossed at the ankles, arms above her head, hair tumbled around her.

The camera angle was everything, shot as if he was looking at those legs from the top of her head. Straight down her body, over cleavage, over her slightly arched torso, the dip to where the teddy sat, and those legs, they stretched all the way up. He’d always loved those legs.

“You’re giving me all sorts of ideas on how I’m going to take you love.” He said quietly, letting his eyes feast on her figure.

He sat there with his tea and let his mind wander before letting sleep call him to bed. A few more days and he’d hold her again.

Friday was a difficult day, his schedule crammed because of what he had put off for the hockey game. It was a necessary evil, but he’d missed their tea date. He collapsed into the single seat in his hotel room at around midnight and let out a single chuckle. He smiled as he opened her note.

Two more days love.

“Yes indeed.” He breathed.

Saturday was a later start so he phoned the kids. They were there with Alice which meant Sildie was out. He felt a little deflated at missing her.

“Ama had to head into work for a while so she could get things ready for next week.” Brendan said filling him in.

“That makes a lot of sense. You guys doing ok?” He asked trying to get a feel on what he’d be walking into.

“We’re doing ok. We get Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday with Ama next week so it’ll be good.” Brendan was trying to be strong, he could see it.

“I’ll be home Monday Brendan, you guys aren’t alone ok?” He watched the kid carefully. “Sildie won’t be alone this time.”

He nodded and smiled a slight smile. “Thanks.”

“Anytime, that’s what I’m here for.”

“She needs someone like you.” Brendan said and Gustaf nearly choked. Was the kid saying what he thought he was saying?

“I need someone like her. I’ll see you Monday ok?” He said softly. “It’ll be ok B.”

“I know.” The kid smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

They were already hurting.

He came back to the hotel Saturday to another note, he couldn’t deny it, he’d hoped for one this time.

One more day to get through love. I can’t wait to kiss you.

He texted and hoped it didn’t wake her.

I can’t wait to kiss you either.

There was no answer by the time he’d showered and settled into some meditation. He hoped that her working today would give her a little more downtime mentally next week. He thought about what Brendan said.

Was he telling him that the kids were ok with him dating Sildie? Being in their lives? His eyes snapped open.

“Well now, there’s a revelation.” He murmured.

Had she already talked with them about the whole staying overnight, dating, being in their lives thing? That was a question for Monday when they were face to face, but fuck he hoped so.

He plowed through the long schedule for Sunday and at around seven he almost fell through the door with relief. It was done. He could go home tomorrow morning and finally hold the love of his life. He’d survived, with a little help, and he was grateful to her for it.

He went to the gym for a long workout session and made tea after his shower. Sitting at the table there was a new note and he grinned. Another photo by the size of it.

He opened it and nearly stopped breathing. His lean, curvy woman in a black lace corset, g string, suspenders, thigh high stockings and heels, but this pose was one of her crawling on hands and knees toward the camera, like a large jungle cat stalking its tasty prey. He could see her looking at him like that as she was about to suck his cock.

He stared into those soulful but erotic eyes and had to contain his sudden excessive need to find release, he would save that for her tomorrow.

“You push me too far love.” He growled, her bottom lip was captured seductively between her teeth, that sinful smirk tugging the corners of her mouth.

Sildie was sitting at her desk at work when his text came in. Her giggle too much to contain.

One day love.

So you keep saying.

She bit that bottom lip as she waited for his response. She had no doubt he’d claim her tomorrow when he got home, but she wanted him to feel wanted, desired, needed. Because she needed him in her life.

I do, because you’re not ready for me to punish you like I want to when you torment your bottom lip like that at me.

Punish me how?

She knew she was pushing her luck.

You’ll find out one day love. Are you at work?

Yes

I’ll leave you to it then. I’ll see you tomorrow and get some sleep, you’re going to need it.

“My little sex kitten.” He added vocally.

Yes you will.

He woke at 3 am after a good four hour nap and packed his bag. He’d catch another nap on the flight home and maybe one while he waited for Sildie to drop the kids at school and day care. He would have time enough to change the sheets on his bed and freshen up before he had his way with her.

“Thanks Daisy, for the notes from Sildie. It meant a lot.” He said as they taxied on the runway.

“She seems like a wonderful girl and we had fun. She just wanted to see you smile, so did I.” Her smile was genuine as she closed her laptop for takeoff.

“She’s good for you Gustaf. She cares a great deal about you.”

“And I her.” He flipped his notebook open.

“It shows, you’d move the world for her I know, but she’d move the universe for you. Don’t forget that, and whatever you do don’t let her go.”

“Don’t intend to.”

“Smartest decision you’ve ever made. Apart from hiring me.” She laughed.

He fell into a car and couldn’t wish it to go faster if he tried. It was around eight when he finally walked over his threshold and closed the door to the outside world. He fished her g string out of his pocket and hung it in its rightful place with a smirk. It had been his touchstone for the entire trip.

#gustaf skarsgard #sorry not sorry #it will leave you wet and wanting #gustaf skarsgard fanfiction

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