#as long as they do the characters justice and they write them well it'll be fine by me

[yuzuna123]

Jun...my sweet beloved lonely angel...you don't deserve this my love! 😢😢 i hope future games and future tekken 8 content, or any content after Tekken 8 whatever they may be, manga, light novels, Story DLC's, movies, treats you with the love you have for Kazuya and Jin.

[betustamorla]

Arkham Abyss storylines arches and writing intention

So for anyone interested or so far invested in this fic, I'll just expose my intentions in regard to the characters:

Jason: Well, this one I guess it's pretty much cliched and whatnot, but because it's a good trope, I just enjoy writing it: Trauma recovery essentially.

Helena: This one is an interesting one because it isn't going as it started. First I just wanted to have her as this pillar for Jason to return to sanity, but as it happens when one writes for long enough a character they start to do things on their own and tell you they have it though as well. Thus, so far she's going through the grief arch. Losing someone or something that it's dear to you can be daunting and some take it worse than others, especially when it's in a sudden, violent way. She'll still be a pillar for Jason, but not always, and sometimes she'll just plainly fail.

Dick: Another interesting one. In the beginning, I just had him as a cameo and helper to exposition in an interesting way, but now he gets his own arch, well he's just charming so who can say no to him? The thing is that as the story isn't focused on him it'll get resolved before the end of the story. Basically, it's the classic stepping up and finding your footing through change and loss. I just hope to make it justice.

Tim & Barbara: For the third time (lol), an interesting thing that I wasn't expecting to add. I won't say too much as it would spoil the story a little bit. But it's a different form of the grief arch they had to go through together. This one will be a little slow and in the background, but it'll be there.

There are some other arches as well, but I won't mention who they are so as to not spoil parts of the story. And here's the blog for short memories of some of the characters before the release of the first chapter in August.

Welp, glad if anyone reads or gets interested in it. Feel free to ask any questions if you're curious. Though I might not answer them directly to avoid spoilers.

But to be honest I am getting a blast of writing this and seeing how it unfolds. And I'll just follow Neil Gaiman's advice, even if I haven't read a thing he's written (lol). But it is good advice.

And as always if anyone is interested in editing, beta reading, or proofreading, DM me.

Elderly Turtle out.

[kimmiessimmies]

Simblr's New Year Resolutions of 2024

I was tagged by lovely Lana, @eljeebee. Thank you, my dear. ❤️

Now, I already did a post on plans yesterday, but that was only for the coming few months or so, plus way too long for anyone to properly read, so let's give this one a go (which will probably also be long, because let's face it, I'm simply not a woman of few words).

What's your resolution for your simblr?

I'm not actually sure? Sometimes, I envy the people who are able to keep their Simblr clean and organised by just posting actual relevant things. I often write rambles (I don't always think anyone truly reads), so the story might get a bit lost. But do I really want to change that? I don't know. Maybe my resolution for my Simblr could be to make things easier to find? But then again, if you want easy reading of my story and everything involved, one click takes you to my WordPress, which actually is a lot more organised.

I do have resolutions for the story itself and my writing, though! In 2024, I hope to expand my writing skills. Even though I write easily in English, the fact that it's not my native language still feels limiting at times. I often feel I could make a narrative or a dialogue richer if this was my mothertongue. I've been contemplating focussing solely on dialogue and image (like I did with the AU), but I find I sometimes want and need the narrative. I really do feel the need to sometimes give words to what a character is feeling or experiencing without them actually voicing it to another character. And precisely in that type of narrative, I see room for improvement.

As for ATOH, I hope to be able to do some other characters justice, too, aside from the ones I've been so focused on recently. Although, maybe it'll only get confusing if I bring too many characters in. So, balance will be the challenge, I guess. And, I hope to be able to bring everything together properly and in a way that makes sense. Especially now that I've changed my timeline for a third time...

What do you want from the Sims franchise?

I just hope TS3 remains playable at this point. My worst fear is my gaming laptop breaking down (I do everything on that thing, as there's no place in my house for an actual pc) and any new one being unsuitable to run TS3 with its very specific demands...

Other than that, I think it would be highly unrealistic to expect EA to develop or do anything specifically for TS3 at this point, and I have absolutely zero interest in straining my laptop even more by putting TS4 on it, which I know I won't play.

Any other new year's resolutions?

Oof... Umm... Well, I already wrote about how I'm struggling a lot at the moment (I'm at a very, very low point right now...) and as much as what I want for 2024 is to find my happy again, that seems like a huge ask at the moment. So I shall stick to the quote the Pinterest game brought up: "Never give up on the things that make you smile" and try to focus on the few things they do bring me joy. Which takes me back to the story, and now we've come full circle.

Tagging a few people who maybe haven't done this yet and might like to, @simsaralove , @sircesimblr, @sushiikinsss. Feel free to pass.

[cosmerelists]

True Confessions of a Cosmere Blogger

[There's a Stormlight spoiler in here! For Oathbringer specifically]

Followers, friends, people who ended up here through tumblr's broken search function: it is time. Time for me to lay bare all of my most terrible secrets as a Cosmere blogger. I am ready, and I hope you are too, for these very honest and real confessions.

1. I don't fucking know how to spell Gavinar Galivar Gavilar's name

Real talk: I had to look up the spelling to make this joke because I couldn't remember which was the right spelling and which were the wrong spellings. It's the grandson, I think. It's not fair to have Gavilar (I had to look at the wiki again) and Gavinor (I had to look this up too) have such similar names, not to mention Dalinar (I'm good there) making me forget whether it's the L or the V first in that dude's name. Seriously, this guy's name is the hardest part of writing any Roshar list.

2. My wife came up with my most popular list

I think my very first post is still my most popular: "How Other Cosmere Characters Would Convince The Stick to Become Fire." And who came up with this awesome idea? My wife! I was hemming and hawing about whether to actually start this blog, and she was like, "Hey, what about a list where everyone tries to convince the stick to become fire?" and let me tell you, that list wrote itself--I couldn't type fast enough. The jokes may be mine, but the idea, which is the funniest part, was all her.

My wife had another really good list idea that I still haven't written, since I haven't found a way to do it justice, but when I finally write it, I bet it'll do great.

3. I don't watch Brandon Sanderson's videos

I don't know. I just have trouble watching Videos On The Internet. I had to FORCE myself to watch the Secret Projects announcement since nobody would say what it was, and that was super hard.

4. I don't read fanfic

I think my blog would classify as fanfic, so it would be fair to say that I write it but I don't read it. I've only read like two fics in my life, and they were both because the girl I had a crush on at the time ordered me to (and yes...it was Wincest). No real idea why I don't read it; just something about my brain, I guess. It does mean that I am trying to understand shipping dynamics and fan preferences through tumblr osmosis, which is why my shipping-based lists may occasionally just leave out some huge pairing I was entirely unaware of (like Navani & Ialai, apparently! Whoops)

5. This is my third list blog

I like to pretend that "list blog" is a genre. It actually worked for a while! I had atlalists first--I joined tumblr because I was writing lists for my own amusement and my roommate at the time told me they thought it would do well on tumblr-- and then bleachlists. Bleachlists was the height of my success; I got so many asks & list requests that I had to create a whole separate blog, askbleachlists, just to handle them. I wrote three lists...A DAY. And some other people made their own "list blogs" inspired by bleachlists, which was wonderful. People made art--I still have some of the bleach art people made hanging in my office. It was fun! Then I left tumblr for a while, and now I'm back with cosmerelists.

6. I thought about making this blog a LONG time before I did it

It just felt really scary! The Cosmere has so much lore and so many characters and so many magic systems and I do NOT have a handle on it all. I read Stormlight Archive 2 1/2 times in preparation, hoping to at least have a handle on that part. But what helped, actually, was going to the Cosmere DragonCon panel last year, listening to the questions, and realizing that nobody really understood the majority of what was going on. So that made me feel better. And in the end, it was just something I wanted to do, and it's my way of enjoying a fandom, so I thought I'd give it a try.

7. Sometime I forget major plot points (Oathbringer spoiler)

I put Demid in a poll as a Bondsmith candidate and people were like, "isn't he dead?" I still don't remember him dying. I'm so sorry, Demid.

At least I can spell your name...right?

[emsuemsu]

@hprecfest day 31: fav among favs

Last day of 2023!! Last prompt of the magnificent HP rec fest!!! This fest has given me so much joy and introduced me to a bunch of new stories to read (which I probably would never even considered to read if it weren't for this fest) for the past month 🥹 December went by so fast, 2023 went by even faster. I’ve been in and out of the fandom for the last too many years, more out than in to be honest, but this year I crashlanded back to HP fanfiction which honestly is my safe haven even after all these years. Further ado, fav among favs which my silly little words will never do justice:

The Brightest Constellations of Our Souls by @thecouchsofa 🩵 256,402 words, draco/harry

Harry doesn’t know how to cope after the War. The only things that make him feel even remotely normal again are taking risks while flying and fighting with Malfoy. It’s not likely to end well. Or, Draco becomes obsessed with ‘Wonderwall’, reads Muggle books, and drives a campervan, while Harry slowly falls in love with Draco. A story about travelling around the British Isles in the late 90s while healing deep scars.

My life can be divided to before and after this fic. I like to think that I didn’t find this story but the other way around - this story found me. And since it is a new fic, posted in the course of last six months I truly do believe it was meant to be I'd come back to the fandom via this story.

This fic is really fucking precious to me and I'm like a healthy-ish amount of emotional about it. First of all it's incredibly well-written, the style of the whole story is very straight-forward but at the same time extremely detailed, immersive and beautiful, sentence after sentence. Even though I love longfics (and this is definitely a longfic with 250k) they can feel a bit dragged out at times, but the way this story is paced and organized I never had that feeling reading this. I felt like each and every word of this story was essential, nothing too much, nothing too little.

This story does come with a little cw from the author. This fic is heavy, really fucking heavy at times, but there is so much light and eventual happiness to balance it out. One of the reasons I love this story so much is that it feels so relatable, it's raw and real to me in so many ways. Harry is my ultimate favorite character out of all the fandoms and characters out there, and the Harry we get served in this fic is godsent. His gradual healing with Draco during their little travels is really moving and touching. Babes.

It's extremely slow burn. Like the burn is so slow the fire is completely out most of the story. But then there's these small things along the way; like Draco's wet left shoulder from the rain and getting almond croissants all the way from Edinburgh that feed the flame and just wreck the shit out of me. And this fic drags you through the mud and minefields right before (and/or during) getting to the part where something actually happens between them. The way their relationship builds along the story is magnificent and emotional. And when we finally get to part where the slow burn pays off and flames lick every inch of my rotten body this fic has some class A smut that I file in the category of "so good I cried". Although, I did manage to cry for nearly the entirety of this story.

This fic definitely is a journey, and it's a long, at times difficult and gut-wrenching, but in the end it's a journey I'm really fucking glad I took. This is a fic I think everyone should at least give a chance to, it'll steal your heart.

All in all, this is a very, very dear story to me on every level possible. Thank you so much @thecouchsofa for writing it, I'm beyond in love with this story and I'm so glad I happen to exist on this planet at the same time as you and your brilliant, beautiful stories 💕

[shannankle]

Current ask game

Tagged by the dazzling @thewayofsubtext! Thanks so much :D

Current time: 8:30-ish in the morning. A rare morning for this hypersomniac. I see a nap in my future!*

*There was indeed a nap, and now it's 2 pm

Current activity: Catching up on things I've been tagged in, I've gotten very behind with low spoons. But the real question is what am I procrastinating doing, which is cleaning my house so chairs can be delivered.

Currently thinking about: Wondering how long it'll be before I crash and need a nap.* But also planning what I'm going to do with my few days off and how to catch up on all the smaller things on my to do list I've been putting off

*It was 30 minutes give or take

Current favorite song: Gosh favorite songs are hard, ummm let's go with Nauseous by the Rose. I got to see them perform recently so it seems appropriate to pick something by them!

Currently Reading: I was going to say nothing. I don't get much reading done for fun these days (dissertation...sigh). But about an hour ago I ran into a gem which I'm planning to use for my next meta post on Shadow. It's Ghostly Desires: Queer Sexuality & Vernacular Buddhism in Contemporary Thai Cinema by Arnika Fuhrmann

Currently Watching:

Too much and I'm probably going to drop some, so I'll just list what I'm currently enjoying and definitely plan to keep watching

Shadow-It's great! I usually only write meta once in a blue moon but it's got me in a meta frenzy. Plus Singto, Fluke, and Fiat--sign me up! Highly recommend!

One Room Angel-Really enjoying this one so far. It's dealing with heavy emotions and topics in a very Japanese style which I love. We'll see how it sticks the landing this week. I don't mind sad endings if their done well and meaningfully. But I also hope for a happy ending (and that desire is where they really get me as a viewer)

Last Twilight-Like a lot of folks, my disabled ass was wary but held out hope that P'Aof would do this justice a la Moonlight Chicken. The first few episodes showed me that he is at the very least aware of the conversation and ready to handle this with nuanced characters. I can't say I don't have a few quibbles and I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, but so far I'm pleased!

My Dear Gangster Oppa-It's really sweet and fun, flaws and all. Hard not to relate to two awkward dudes who never had a lot of friends bonding. Throw in gangsters and gamers and it's a nice watch each week!

Bake Me Please-I really enjoyed the first episode. The characters feel lived in. Plus it's nice to see Guide in a lead role after I Feel You Linger in the Air and alongside Ohm at that. I can't put my finger on it, but something about how they're building out the cast reminds me of Taiwan's style which is interesting to see.

Oh No! Here Comes Trouble-Doing a re-watch with my partner. An absolute favorite! It tackles grief and loss with depth, a strong sense of storytelling, and a quirky sense of humor. Throw in the supernatural and fantastic characters, and I fell in love.

Current Favorite Character: This is too hard! Fine, I'll choose! Pu YiYong from Oh No! Here Comes Trouble

Current wip: Currently working my way to a meta on technology in Shadow

Play away: @thepancakelady @petalsandeverythingnice @ablazenqueen @justanothertraveller42 @thepondstogether @shining-oranges86 @outofthewoods-tv @not-a-real-colour @writerwithoutsound @imminentinertia @kudaai @buffvsummers @chickenstrangers @mirabella96 @superrex319 @broidkwhatibedoinganymore @lady-pascal @synxailla @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @jemmo

[malleleothreesome]

Hi, there :D!🌼

First of all I would like to tell you that I find your writing and blog so beautiful and interesting. I think you reflect the characters' personalities very well.. I know they're not taking orders or anything but a thought occurred to me:

I couldn't help but think of a scenario where the reader, in a show of commitment and love towards Leona, learns to speak his language. (I don't remember well what language it was)

In intimate and emotionally strong moments the reader is speaking in that language either to give words of encouragement and security to Leona or to remind him how loved he is. I can imagine Leona nervous and internally shy about that form of affection being putty in the reader's hands (although he will try not to be too obvious).

I also imagine taking advantage of speaking in that language when the reader wants to flirt and playfully put Leona in his place. (Dominant affection tactic?) It would be quite romantic, all that mutual flirting using that language as an intimate way of talking to each other. As if Leona and the reader were in their own world together

But since it's just a line of thought that occurred to me, I hope to see more content from your blog, I really liked it,

By the way my favs are: (Silver, Deuce and Jack) I would like to share my thoughts about them but I think it would be better on another occasion, that's all I hope I haven't been too long with my line of thought, bye 👍✨💐

Hi!! 💖 This is such a sweet message! Thank you so much for the kind words. I am so happy to hear you say that you think I reflect the characters personalities well – that is what I strive to do! What a lovely idea you have! I really appreciate you sharing your thought with me, and I am excited to receive asks like this. Even if I didn't think I could do justice to the idea, I love to give people a platform to share their great thoughts – maybe even another writer would see them and get inspired! That being said, I love your idea and it does resonate with me. I have seen fics where Leona speaks in Swahili, and I think it would be very fun to research and explore that. Give me some time, but I think I will write up something like this! I can already imagine Leona feeling so moved that someone cared about him enough to put the effort in to start learning a new language. The flirting idea is really fun, especially because most students not from Sunset Savanna won't be able to understand what they're saying to each other 🤭 And yes, I'd love to hear more about your favorite characters! I am hoping it'll help me begin to appreciate them in new ways. Since I am so hyper-fixated on my few faves (Malleus, Leona, & Fellow), I have a bad habit of ignoring the rest of the cast, but I really don't want to be like that – I hope to one day appreciate each and every character in TWST! I already have a surface level appreciation for Deuce (because I ♥️ Heartslabyul + the Adeuce dynamic) and Silver (by association with Malleus 😂). I am excited and looking forward to what you have to say about your three faves! I'm sure it'll help me start to see them the way you do. Thank you for the ask, I hope you have an amazing day/night!

[distort-opia]

Heya!! It’s me again, lol.

I’m curious (so I’m just gonna throw these questions at you); are there any changes or directions you would like to see regarding Batman, Joker, and/or Batjokes in the mainline comics?

What are some aspects about Batman and Joker that you feel are ignored or neglected by writers, if at all? (Is that even a reasonable question to ask? I’m always so worried I’m missing the point. These characters are so complex, which is great, that’s a reason why I love them, but the complexity muddles my brain at times and I’m not sure of what questions to ask and if they are valid in the first place).

Actually! That’s a perfect transition to this:

When writing Batman and Joker, what are some key things to consider regarding their individual traits and of their relationship?

I’m so sorry for the interview-esque ask. Not trying to shove questions down your throat! I hope that you’re doing well, please take care.

Hey!! First of all, thank you for the ask, and for all the kind words you always leave in my tags. I'm baffled at the support and I'm really glad you enjoy my rambles. All the love to you <3

Since these are three questions, my answer did end up long, so I will put it under the cut.

As to the first question... uh. That's complicated, I guess. I am quite disillusioned with DC as a whole, so even though I have specific storylines I would like to see, I wouldn't trust them to get them right. However, to be fair, it's not entirely their fault. It's the nature of the medium too. I might want to see a story in which Bruce actually and genuinely gets to heal from his trauma, but that will never be the end. Batman's too popular for that. Like Sysiphus, he'll have to exist again and again, in countless versions and universes. He'll be reinvented and revived until there's no more interest, probably -- and it's the same with Joker. That said, there are stories I would like to see. I feel like Batman Who Laughs was such a missed opportunity for a genuinely cool psychological story, for instance. That whole chemical thing was a cop-out, when we could've gotten Bruce killing someone either by accident or by losing control in some way (sort of like TWOJAR but without anyone stopping him and with more... in-character circumstances). Then, it would've been so interesting to see Bruce's psyche break down to the point of him killing Joker, and becoming the villain he always feared turning into. As to Joker, I'd give a kidney for a genuinely nuanced story about him facing his past, because his character is literally defined by running away from it. You've got Going Sane and White Knight as variations on 'hey what if Joker became sane' but they're not at all what I mean. In Going Sane, Joker simply fabricated and assumed a different identity -- he doesn't deal with his memories or his former self in any way. And do not get me started on White Knight, because I hate the idea of some pills just erasing Joker's so-called 'insanity' and with it, his love for Batman. Those pills basically turn him straight for Harley. Yeah that's a great way to imply gay love is obsessive and turns you insane, thank you DC. To be honest I'm pretty sure DC will try... something with Joker's former family at some point, because they had Jeannie and Joker's son be alive in The Three Jokers (which I also hated). And thing is, it could be an interesting story! But I'm like 90% sure it'll suck, because they treat Joker like a one-dimensional evil cardboard cut-out of himself these days. (I did actually start writing a story about Joker more realistically facing his past myself, in Falls the Shadow. Be the change you want to see in the world, I guess.) And when it comes to Batjokes... a story where they team up would be cool. Like that Deadly Duo comic they were planning and that never panned out, apparently. Also, I'd just really find it funny if Joker got kidnapped by aliens or something in full view of the Justice League, and everyone's like "...Yeah, that's cool. It's fine. Him off planet is actually great." Meanwhile Bruce is like "It's a sacred human life! He has to be rescued! I'm going after him!" Basically him being just as stupidly incapable of letting Joker go as in Devil's Advocate, but to an even bigger scale :)) I just think it'd be hilarious to see Bruce dragging Joker back from some remote planet like something of his that got misplaced while everyone is facepalming.

The second question is a perfectly reasonable one to ask! Don't think you're missing the point in any way; and I fully agree these characters have so much history and are so complex it gets headache-inducing sometimes. Aspects of Batman and Joker that I feel are neglected or ignored... well, when it comes to Bruce, it bugs me that Bruce displays character development a bunch of times, but the next writer just bulldozes over it. Again, this is also due to the nature of comics as a medium, and everyone trying to put their own spin on the character, but still. It gets very frustrating. You're like, "Ah, he's finally self-aware about the bullshit he puts his kids through! He's trying to change! He's trying to prioritize his own happiness over his Vow for once!" and a couple of issues later it all gets undone. Sigh. Though for Joker it's a lot worse, I feel. What gets ignored and neglected when writing him is 100% his humanity. There's more than one comic showing more humane sides of him, outright spelling it out that he's not just the Evil Psychopath most fans are eager to believe him to be. But these sides of him -- having emotional breakdowns, not being able to find 'the joke', empathizing with children and trying to help an abused one, having so many comics imply he had a horrible childhood full of physical and even sexual abuse, having some sort of genuine affection for Harley -- are pretty much ignored in more recent depictions. He's just purely unapologetically 'evil', which takes away so much from a very complex and interesting character.

As to the third question, regarding writing Batman and Joker and what to keep in mind... uh. That's complicated, once again. Whenever I write for a fandom I basically bathe my brain in content until I feel I have a good grasp on the characters, and then I just write. They do the work themselves afterwards. Sometimes I might really want to explore something but then the characters won't let me. It's an unconscious thing for me that's hard to break down into components. But in general, there's one thing I believe is essential when writing Batman and Joker in any iteration, and that's the fact they're equals. Sometimes fan depictions of Joker... woobify him a bit too much, turn him into a desperate emotional mess only craving Batman's attention. This takes away from the balance of power between them, in my opinion. Not to say Joker isn't obsesed with Batman and vocal about it; but he's also spent decades fighting him and harming him. Him giving up his entire identity that he so effortfully created in order to deal with his trauma (which is half-Batman related, half entirely not) just for Bruce's romantic attentions feels OOC to me. Not to mention it gives Bruce too much power over him, and the guy has enough problems with that as it is. He doesn't need another person he can control, he needs someone who can withstand his controlling tendencies and fight him on them.

I hope you found my answers interesting! Thank you again for the interest, and no worries. Don't know if there'll ever be a time when I get asked to rant about Batman and I don't jump on it. Hope you're doing okay, and take care too!

[quaranmine]

Hey I’m the person who sent an ask about a week ago about HTBAHB. It’s 3:30am and I meant to go to sleep hours ago, but I decided to start I’ll be waiting here till the stars fall out of the sky before bed with the intention of reading 1 chapter at most, and just finished all 4 that have been published. I was so hooked by the end of the first chapter, there was no way I could put it down. I know your main focus is firewatch for now, but I just want you to know that whenever this gets unpaused someday, I’ll be beyond thrilled. It’s so good, your writing just hooks me in. It may be a good thing that’s all that’s uploaded, or I’d be up till dawn reading. You’re amazing at getting all the hermit’s voices down too, it really sounds like them, to the point that I find myself reading it in their actual voices in my head. I just want to thank you again for the amazing works, I look forward to probably starting firewatch next!

anon i think i want to marry you

no but!!! thank you so much for these asks you have sent me lately!! i'm really happy you liked the stories. asks like these (as well as comments) definitely do give me more motivation to work on i'll be waiting (IBW as I always shorten it to.) I also really appreciate your comment about having the hermit's voice down because I always fear I struggle with characterization and IBW was especially daunting with 26 characters to keep up with. This story was sort of a "bit off more than I could chew" moment because it threw me pretty far out of my comfort zone. There was a lot to keep track of, lots of people to characterize, and hermits I was worried I wouldn't be able to do justice to. I felt a lot of anxiety about working on it and swung wildly between hating my plot and outline versus thinking it was fine. I'm always of the mind that fandom should be fun, and if it's not fun anymore, then you're either doing it wrong or need to go take a break. So....I wasn't having fun with the story anymore.

however, taking a break on it has been good because it gave my brain a rest from worrying about it all the time. whenever i'm working on a fic it takes up tons of my brain space--i'm coming up with random pieces all the time, whether that's driving down the highway or during a particularly boring work meeting or going to bed. if a project starts to stress me out? that's a lot of time to be stressed out! but after spending these few months with a different project (one that came significantly easier to me) and not really thinking or working on it, i have found myself circling back to IBW again. this time, i have a few more thoughts or ideas surrounding it. more of a fresh slate.

so i definitely am not considering it a cancelled story or anything!! unfortunately i don't think i can work on two long fics at the same time without throwing off progress on both of them, so it'll probably have to wait until later.

that's a long ask to just say...i really appreciate this comment IBW and the htbahb series as a whole and your support <3333

[delivish]

ypiac musings

still steadily working on the next chapter of ypiac. i've struggled a lot with it, and while it's definitely getting there (roughly about halfway done with the next chapter; still hoping for a late july update, but if it happens it happens, and if it doesn't, it'll be up when it's done) i've been thinking a lot about how i feel about ypiac in the quiet times, and what i ultimately want to do with it

this story was first published on ff.net 5/2014, before i eventually uploaded it to ao3

i've said this before, but i don't really plan out the things i write. most of the time i start out with a very general idea, have a couple of scenes in my head that i want to hit, and i'll have a pretty concrete ending in mind and just go from there. it works for me! it seems insane to think of because of how...long and twisty ypiac ended up being, but i when started it, i had no idea where it it would eventually end up, lmao. i have an ending in mind and it's the same ending (more or less) that i envisioned when i first started working on this thing, but everything in between is ?????????? !!!!!! ????!?!

and that's all fun and exciting because i get to be like 'well what if THIS happens!!' but i'm at the point now where i need to start getting a bit more focused if i'd like to fuckin' finish this damn fic sometime in the next year

another thing is, i took such a long break from it, i feel like my writing is totally different, and it may be entirely in my head, but it's throwing me off bad :( the way i figure it, ypiac probably??? has about 100 - 150k left if i want to tell the story i want to tell and focus on the relationships in a way that gives them justice, but with my writing style so changed, and the huge tone shift coming up (which makes me laugh, because what's going to happen next i've had in my head since i started this way back in 2014)

so, ypiac is going to be a two-part series. ypiac as it exists now probably only has about 5 or 6 more chapters in it. once i hit the big bad, your princess in another castle part one will be over, and i can start writing part two without feeling so tied down. because right now, i feel like i have to match what i wrote before, in the style that i did, and i think that's why i am struggling so much

ypiac part two will be a lot darker, and much, much more romantic because i'll actually be focusing on the bunny and creek. whereas part one was the fun superhero adventure setting up all the characters, eventually leading to an explosion, hehe. thinking of ypiac in those terms has helped me to focus this quite a bit

as always, if you are a new reader of this fic, thank you. and if you're an old reader, thank you from the bottom of my heart!! i think. people will be VERY surprised about how part 1 of ypiac ends, lmao. i hope ya'll like it!!

[okamirayne]

Some random Qs for you! 1. What are your fave fanfic tropes/ao3 tags and why? guilty pleasure or otherwise. I’m a sucker for angst with a happy ending or pretty much any popular trope that’s angsty 2. Do you have any sort of process when it comes to developing a character, or getting into the characters head? What does that look like? 3. I see those merlin gifs you be posting, is that new? Tell me why you love them Rayne. ❤️Lots of love from someone whose been a fan for over 10 years❤️

Well hello there, my lovely Random Q Anon! ❤️ Thanks for swinging by my happy haunt. I hope this reply finds you well. ^_^

1. What are your fave fanfic tropes/ao3 tags and why? guilty pleasure or otherwise.

Oh, like you, Anon, I too worship at the Altar of Angst.

While I'm paying my respects at said altar, throw me some hurt/comfort; a meaty slow burn; time-honoured 'enemies to lovers'; great humour; bromance; intimate m/m slashy goodness with some raw yang energy and I'm all but singing Hozier's "Take me to Church."

As for why? Well, combine all those things together and for me it creates a rich and dynamic experience I can really sink my teeth into. Sure, PWP can be fun, a quick-hit pick-me-up...but it often leaves me jonesing for the stronger stuff. Because I do love layered intimacy in the fics I read, especially with the m/m slash pairings. The edge of vulnerability that never loses its capacity to turn, like a blade, from smooth steel to the razor’s edge...then back again...

From something as intimate as this...

...to this....

....to this....

I especially gravitate towards such a dynamic when reading my m/m pairings. And you'll probably notice most of these pairings (90%) are with warrior/soldier archetypes.

They are my sweet remedial poison.

As for the altar, there's something about the angst that nourishes me. And ruins me. I'm pretty sure there's some eloquent quote about that delicious interplay and the feeling it evokes. Don't get me wrong, I hate when things slide into emo-depresso mode. There's a difference between depth and darkness. I like the deep. Doesn't always have to be dark.

2. Do you have any sort of process when it comes to developing a character, or getting into the characters head? What does that look like?

It looks like headphones on, eyes closed (or vacant stare, ha, either works as I zone out)....and total immersion into the character. Obviously this varies depending on whether I am tackling an OC or whether I'm writing fanfic. The former is a hell of a lot more immersive for me. The latter involves getting into their established trivia/meat and digging under their skin. OCs require a whole different level of madness from me. I need to get in their bones and their blood...and yeah, I realise how sadomasochistic I'm sounding right about now. But it's true. Unless I have a physical ache in my body where my OCs carry their wounds, their ghosts, or their shadows, I'm not satisfied I can do them justice on the page. So yeah, certifiable processes are required for me to channel that. 🤪

3. I see those merlin gifs you be posting, is that new? Tell me why you love them Rayne. ❤️

...Tell me what you love, it'll tell me who you are, right? *head-tilt* You're intriguing me, Anon. Have we spoken before? 10 years is a long time to be a stranger, friend. I'm honoured and happy you've reached out to me here...assuming you haven't before. You feel oddly familiar to me. And yeah, that is your cue to run far, run fast! *laughs*

Right you are. My Merlin indulgence is indeed new. And ah...why do I love them?

Here we go...

Because I never expected to. I literally went into this show for the mindlessness of old-school, corny-as-hell escapism -- I did not expect to fall for the characters

Because I love the sudden unguarded ways they will look at each other -- even if the writers are playing to the fanbase ;)

I love what they bring out in each other

I love what they challenge in each other

I ache for the tragedy and secrets surrounding them

I adore the loyalty they exhibit; Merlin's devotion and Arthur's protectiveness...it belies the arrogant neglectful way Arthur behaves and hits on his deeper nature, beneath the princely surface

I love Merlin's depth of feeling in all things (seriously, this actor draws me in with his capacity to convey emotion without a damn word) and how his sensitivity does not in any way diminish his strength -- the secrets he has to keep from Arthur are heart-rending at times

I love how hard Arthur clings to his pride and arrogance whilst his vulnerability often betrays him; in his eyes, his sudden rough humour, or in his unconscious actions.

Their banter is good fun; especially the re-direct when things get too intimate or familiar, namely for Arthur.

I love their integrity as people and how that integrity causes them to infuriate one another yet also how it cements them closer together

...I'm sure there are more reasons. I'm not yet finished with the series...so there will undoubtedly be more.

Look at that gushy list. You can tell I'm swimming in the feels of these two at the moment.

Thank you for letting me share what I found in those depths. ❤️

Big love, hugs, and appreciation for you, Anon...over a decade's worth of it, given how long you've been a friendly presence in the wings. Bless you, and thank you, for letting me catch a glimpse of you ❤️.

[acacia-may]

Could I request some fluffy FinFin for your limited romance edition? I hope you will get better soon and please don't exhaust yourself.

Hi Anon! Thank you so much for sending in this request and the well wishes. You're very sweet! I appreciate it. 🥰

I love both Finesse and Finral very much as characters, and I think FinFin is just such a sweet ship though it isn't one I write too often (mainly due to lack of ideas 😅), so I just hope I've managed to do them justice. I really enjoyed writing this piece for your request, and I apologise for taking so long to finish it. Thank you again for being patient. I hope you will like it or at least that it'll make you smile! 😊 Cheers and Much Love!! 💕

[jabbage]

how old would you say is your sherlock holmes fixation?

My idée fixe? :D Ok, apologies for the incoming essay.

I got REALLY into the stories when I was about 11/12, for probably quite a short period of time.

Sherlock Holmes as a character really appealed to me. He's an oddball loner who gets sad sometimes and who doesn't quite fit into the society he's in. Despite that, he regularly listens and helps people who are lacking power and seeks justice for them, which I think is really appealing and satisfying idea for a tweenager. Especially the slightly lonely only-child asexual tweenager that I was.

Then Doctor Who came along which scratched a similar itch but with the added bonus that it was something I could share with friends at school, and which led me to discovering online fandom groups, so that became My Fandom for the rest of my teens before my interest for that fizzled out too. If I ever thought back to my 'funny Sherlock Holmes' phase it was with slight embarrassment and disdain - "I was such a dork!"

As I've transitioned from being in my 20s to being in my 30s, and got into writing graphic novels aimed at that tweenage 'middle grade' readership, I suddenly feel much kinder towards my younger self. I admire her. She loved the things she loved wholeheartedly and unashamedly, and her life was made richer by it.

There's this famous quote from CS Lewis from his essay 'On Three Ways of Writing for Children', which goes:

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

I've been really feeling that lately? At the beginning of this year I ended up rereading the Sherlock Holmes short stories again, and finding that childhood joy again... but more than that.

I have grown as a person since I was 11, and so that joy has grown too. I understand more of the cultural and historical context of them. I can write and draw and create fanworks I couldn't have done back then. I have the means and autonomy to travel to see what places mentioned in the stories look like today if I want. Best of all, unlike when I was 11 and it was a private joy, now I can get to know people who love those stories too.

So I guess long story short, the answer is either "since I was eleven", or "about five months", depending on how you look at it. I definitely feel like a newbie to the wider world of the fandom. My current burst of enthusiasm may well dial down a little once the novelty wears off and I find a different hobby horse, but it'll always have a special place in my heart.

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

hihi! same anon as last time, wanted to leave my thoughts on the latest chapter ^^

something I notice, this taking place earlier on in the timeline than the other pieces in the series (of which I've reread a fair few times! hope that isn't an offputting thing to admit, I just really like your approach to these characters :D), is how lonesome and subdued he is at this time. I particularly really like that second paragraph listing off everyone's wishes for him that we've seen up to this point (and noting his parents' hpes too really sits with me- gosh, how worried they'd be for him over the past few years...) and I like as clumsily they go about it how determined his college friends are to cheer him up in some regard. even if they don't know the extent of hero's struggles, they invite him along and want him to have a good time too. it's for their benefit too but it's still sweet to see

my heart hurts for him in that stretch of them trying to sell him on playing the romance game, what a subject to navigate... I'm curious what CJ and Kyle took away from his mood slipping alongside his admittance of having been kissed, if anything. guess it'll be a wait and see :o

and even though as you've noted this is largely set-up to the party itself, I really like the hopeful note you close out on here. the smallest choices, little moments of courage, really add up. you just have to see where they take you, sometimes.

great work with this!! I eagerly await more however and whenever it works out, and I send my well wishes to the two of you- hope you both have a lovely day!! - 🩶

Oh my goodness! 🥺 Thank you so much 🩶Anon-Friend! Your ask was so sweet and means so much to us, especially after the struggle it has been to get this set of chapters ready for posting. It made our days to get to read your thoughts on the latest chapter! Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us!! 💖

Before we address your lovely specific points on the newest chapter, we wanted to reassure you that there is not and is never anything off-putting in reaching out to us and in telling us you have reread our little stories. It is so incredibly flattering to hear that not only did you give our fics a chance and enjoy them but also that you loved them enough to reread them. It's so encouraging and honestly has us tearing up a little! 🥺💙Seriously, it's the greatest compliment to hear that you were so impacted by something we created that you wanted to read it more than once. Do you have a favorite story in the series so far? (No pressure to answer, of course. We were just a little curious).

Thank you also for saying that you love the way we write the characters! We both love OMORI and all of its amazing, dynamic characters so much (Hero especially) so it is always our goal to do them justice whenever we write about them. To hear other people enjoy our interpretations and it's not only us who see these characters in this way is always so encouraging. Thank you so much for that!

Thank you again for supporting our “When Sun Shines Again” project and for reading our latest chapter! We apologize it was short and that not a lot happened (that's why we didn't have our word of thanks to you in the author's note. We were always planning to put it in the next one where things actually happen & apologize for the delay 🙈). After several months of writing and rewriting, editing and reediting, however, we decided to post some of it (if only so Acacia would stop editing and finally move on). It means so much to hear that you enjoyed it! We've addressed your specific points under the cut (because this post got really, really long), but thank you so much again for such an incredibly kind ask! We appreciate you and your support so much. Please take care of yourself and we wish you a fantastic day as well! 💙

Honestly squealing a little that one of your big takeaways from this chapter was how lonely Hero is at this point in his life. We tried so hard to make that a major theme in the work thus far, so it means a lot to hear that that stuck out to you especially in comparison to stories that take place farther in the future. One of the biggest inspirations for this story has always been this line from One Day Left:

Hero really is so lonely, and it goes beyond just the loss of the best friend he had in Mari. He can't open up to others in the same way that he used to. He feels he has to protect Aubrey, Basil, Sunny, and Kel who are dealing with their own grief. He is terrified of worrying his family, and he struggles to tell any new friends he makes about his painful past. He doesn't show anyone the whole picture anymore--doesn't show those broken parts of himself. For any relationship to truly develop, there has to be a level of vulnerability, a moment where you allow someone else to truly see the real you. Hero doesn't want is anyone to see him anymore. By never letting anyone in, he thinks he is preventing himself from ever hurting or burdening others, but what he is really doing is preventing himself from ever being truly loved.

What was more important to both of us in writing this series wasn't that Hero opens himself up to romantic love again but that he opens himself up any love: to the love of his family and friends. We want him to allow people to know him, to see him, and to love him again, so he doesn't have to be alone anymore. We want him to heal his relationships with his old friends and his family, but also to open himself up to new friends too which is how the cast of this story became so much bigger than just one OC love interest. Yes, it's the name of the blog but we truly believe that Hero deserves to be happy and it's our hope that that he can find that happiness in building meaningful relationships with people who truly care about him (even in a purely platonic sense).

Hero's family & friends know and wish this too (in our opinion) which is why they are worried and why they want so desperately for him to make friends at school. It means so much to hear you specifically mention that second paragraph of this chapter where Hero thinks of his loved ones' wishes for him. [A/N: Sprinkles wants to specifically thank you for mentioning Hero's parents and how deeply worried they are about him as that's something that (we both feel) often gets overlooked or misinterpreted so it means a lot to hear that that really struck you! Always excited to find fellow "Kel & Hero's Parents are flawed (as all human beings are) but they genuinely love and care about their kids and are trying their best" Truthers out there!] All those wishes were all intentionally included in the previous chapters to build up to this section of the story and everything that comes after because Hero building these friendships, finding this sense of community, and opening himself up again is one of the most important themes of this story.

And in that way, you're absolutely right about Hero being much lonelier at this point in the timeline than in the other stories in this series. From the beginning we've had this detailed outline/timeline of the "When Sun Shines Again" universe and when we [A/N: mostly Acacia who has a bad habit of wanting to write out of order] work on spin-off stories, we tend to have a specific point on the timeline in mind to set that story in. It's so encouraging to hear that there is such a noticeable difference in how lonely Hero is in this early part of the timeline than in the later ones when he has cultivated these friendships and allowed himself to be vulnerable with them. That vulnerability is really the key. For instance, you mentioned Kyle and C.J. and their reactions to Hero's unexpected shift in mood, and the real issue for Hero there is that he can't explain because he isn't ready to open up about Mari yet. Eventually when/if he is ready to tell his friends about her, those kinds of misunderstandings will become less of a problem.

We loved what you said about his friends being determined to cheer him up a little bit. That's exactly what we were going for! And it means so much to us that you've mentioned Kyle and C.J. specifically here as if they are real characters. We worked hard on them so it really means a lot! Eventually they will learn at least some things about Hero's history and Mari (not sure if that's a spoiler or not), but despite them (especially Kyle) being goofs, they really do care about Hero and would be a lot more sensitive if they knew his past. In that way, it's kind of a good thing they don't know because the rest of this story kind of depends on them being a little more pushy (at least to the extent of getting Hero out of the house to this party, but more on that in the next chapter...)

We apologize for that the sadness in that bit about poor Hero remembering Mari and their relationship and kind of swearing off romance forever. We were kind of worried it would come off as a random tangent (even though we know/hope it'll be relevant later), but ultimately, we decided to keep it if just to reiterate the point that Hero is absolutely not ready for that right now and is not going to be ready for a long, long time (which I'm sure you know if you've read the other fics in this series). We actually kind of had to laugh about it the other day because we are now 43,805 words into this story and Hero hasn't even met the girl who will eventually get him to open his heart to love again. As Sprinkles says, "This takes slow burn to the next level."

But we feel strongly that it has to, just by the nature of what it is. Hero loved Mari so much. He wanted to spend his forever with her and genuinely cannot imagine ever wanting that kind of relationship with anyone else at this point. To gloss over that or speed through it really feels like a disservice to him and to how deeply he loved Mari and is still grieving her. Finding healing and opening his heart again is a very long, complex, and often painful process. It can't be rushed, and thanks to Sprinkles who insisted we turn this story idea into the proper epic it deserves, hopefully it won't be here (A/N: it was originally only supposed to be 5 chapters spanning the same length of time but just in less words/scenes, but Sprinkles wisely decided we needed to let the story breathe and take its time!)

Lastly, we are so thrilled to hear that you liked the hopeful ending of this chapter and the reflection on the small seemingly insignificant moments in life that have major impacts. We absolutely agree with your analysis that sometimes we really do have to see where those little moments of courage take us (and we absolutely adore the poetic way that you've worded that too). That's always been such a big takeaway from OMORI for us especially when we think about how (arguably) the most important part of the game (those Real World segments) are sparked by the seemingly insignificant choice to go outside with Kel. If the player chooses to ignore Kel's knocking, they'll end up in Hikikomori and the "True"/Good ending will be impossible to them which in a way (or at least in our opinion) makes it the most important decision in the game. But it's so deceptive precisely because you don't expect the most important decision in a game to be opening the door for your friend. We wanted to bring that kind of sentiment into "When Sun Shines Again" as well and emphasize these little moments that end up having huge impacts on Hero's life and his future.

You've probably guessed by the amount of music references in "When Sun Shines Again" that we have found a lot of inspiration for this series in music, and there is a song called "Something Changed" by Pulp [YouTube Link (A/N: The song title is the Spotify link)] that perfectly sums up this sentiment (A/N: Acacia listens to it a lot while writing). It's this love song from 1995 (so appropriate for the time period here) that's really about "perfect timing" and how it's not these little moments that bring these people together. The song is really the singer reflecting on these seemingly insignificant moments that unexpectedly changed his life and how he wasn't expecting to find love but somehow everything just fell into place and "something changed." Here's a few of our favorite lines:

"Oh, I could have stayed at home and gone to bed I could have gone to see a film instead You might have changed your mind and seen your friends Life could have been very different but then Something changed"

That's probably a good wrap up place before we start rambling about spoilers (not sure if you care too much about those, but we've tried to avoid them just in case 😅). We're hoping to get the next two chapters wrapped up and posted this week. We have no idea if this is even possible but we're going to try. (Acacia is determined to get poor Zoey into this book by her birthday so wish us luck!). The encouragement and feedback we've received from you is such incredible motivation to get these chapters finished and posted though, so thank you so much for that and for all of your support!

We are so delighted that you've enjoyed our stories and are so humbled and flattered that you think so highly of our "When Sun Shines Again" series. Merely saying thank you does not feel like enough, but thank you so, so much for this! Please don't hesitate to stop by our inbox any time to talk with us. We're always happy to discuss this project, our OCs, or anything Hero related (honestly, anything OMORI related within our blog rules really even though this is a Hero-centric blog), so please don't be shy or a stranger. Sending much love to you, 🩶 Anon-Friend!

[cosettepontmercys]

Ya I was talking about Emily Henry's YA. I actually read a bit of Happy Place yesterday and it seems promising. By the way, how do you feel about all of her books becoming movies? Anybody you can picture in these roles.. cuz I feel like that sometimes helps me. Which one are you most excited for? I feel like that might have been another reason I stopped reading her books cuz I wouldn't want the movie to be way different than what I thought and wanted to wait for the cast but it'll probably be a long time now.

Oh wow..I had no idea it was a popular book..I found it randomly and read it based on the title a few years ago lol. I don't want to get your expectations high with the Normal People comparison.. cuz I read them around the same time maybe. The Stepping Off Place is actually a book I think would make a great movie..and that's the first book I read where I could picture the whole movie. I even added stuff in my head about the characters that probably only make sense to me and added scenes. Ever since Taylor mentioned working on a movie, I have been thinking about this so it might be another reason why I feel so connected to it. I think it's kinda similar to John Green if I had to compare it to something.

Anyway I guess I'm the same with books or movies I love but I feel like it's easy for me to see why someone wouldn't like something..and I also have a hard time giving books 5 stars sometimes cuz I can always find small flaws even if it's something I really liked. I didn't wanna give too much away with these, since I just went into it not knowing anything, but there could be trigger warnings here just so you know. I would also love any recs you wanna give! My Monday is good. Hopefully trying to get rush tickets for Les Mis tour tomorrow!

hi friend!! hope you had a good day and hope you got les mis tour tickets 🤍 so sorry for the delayed reply!! i kept meaning to sit down and reply to you and then i kept getting pulled away in different directions! i'd love to hear your thoughts on les mis if you got to see it! i am super, super nervous about emily henry's books being adapted into movies! her books (particularly beach read + book lovers) means so much to me, and i'm worried that they'll diminish the role that grief (as well as the other heavier topics) plays in both books in favor of other things. there are also, very few adaptations where i feel like they do the original source justice (little women 2019, normal people, etc.). i really like the idea of jonathan bailey and simone ashley in book lovers, but that's heavily influenced by the fact that bridgerton season 2 had come out just before i read book lovers, and i was seeing both of them everywhere! and one of my friends sold me on zoey deutch and glen powell (they're in set it up, which is one of my favorite romcoms — highly recommend it if you haven't seen it yet) as harriet and wyn in happy place! i don't think i have a perfect cast for beach read or people we meet yet, but i was toying with the idea of kathryn newton (who is phenomenal as amy in little women pbs) as january for a while. i've been trying to be better about thinking of adaptations as a separate thing from the original source, but it's something i really struggle with, especially when the book means a lot to me! but it does look like emily henry is pretty involved with the movie, so that gives me a little more confidence in it. i'm so bad at picturing adaptations for books! i think it's easier for me with fantasy (not necessarily a cast, just like how it'd look visually etc.). i don't watch a whole lot of tv/movies (that's not entirely true; i watch a lot of hong kong tv/movies, but that's it) so casting people in books is often really hard for me. i'm so so curious about taylor's movie, and what that might look like! i'm really curious to see if the movie soundtrack will mostly be her songs or if it'll be something else. i personally have also been wanting her to write a musical (or at least, the score for one) for ages, whether it's an adaptation (like sara bareilles with waitress, ingrid michaelson with the notebook musical) or something completely new! i think the only books that i give five stars incredibly liberally are memoirs! i also do have a habit of giving a book a higher rating on goodreads than i do on my reading tracker — or on here, and also i have a tendency to adjust my ratings as i think about a book more. i'll look up the trigger warnings before i read either book; thank you! 🤍

[elli-incarnate]

2022 Fanfiction in Review

Stealing the format from @yubsie who apparently stole it from @shenanigans-and-imagines because I've been meaning to do this all day and this seems like a good template

Fics Written This Year

Black Pawn (Dark L/M, during Dark Empire) the one that got me back into fanfic, because I randomly opened a doc I'd started 17y ago and thought to myself, "wow, some of this really kicks ass. flirted with the very edge of obscenity? that line goes so hard. I should maybe finish this" - and then, reader, I did. Dark Empire has been an emotional thorn in my side for two decades, and I'm finally writing it the way I wanted it to go.

Inversion (Dark Luke RotJ AU, with a double Luke and Vader redemption!) the one that started with the thought, "if Luke did fall after Bespin, who would have noticed? Leia, I guess," and kind of spiraled from there. it was really fun; I just took characters' lines from the movies and stuck them into other characters' mouths, and it worked surprisingly well. I wrote this one so fast, but somehow it's the one that really racks up the numbers on AO3. Come for Dark!Luke, stay for the father-son redemption.

A Little Help, Here? (cracky humor with Luke, Han, and ghost!Anakin) the one where I was reading / listening to the Dark Empire audioplay and got so pissed off at how mean OOC Luke was being to Han and decided that clearly that meant I should write a fic where they're actually friends

Mourning (Vader introspection angst bomb) the one I constructed in my head while on a long drive listening to boppy driving music. a really angsty meditation on linguistics and Vader as a bereaved parent. honestly this is one of my favorite things I've ever written; it's gorgeously bleak and I love it

The Skycrawler Chronicles (cat Vader fluffy crack) the one where I randomly wrecked myself by thinking about how Vader never got a chance to feel sunlight for twenty years or even to touch his children, and decided that naturally the only way to fix that was to write an absolutely ridiculous series in which Vader is somehow reincarnated as a cat after Endor, and now he's secretly just Luke's weird angry cat with superpowers.

Black Knight (sequel to Black Pawn, also Dark L/M during Dark Empire) oh hey we're back at Dark Empire. the sequel to the one that started off the list, and a continuation of that attempt to resolve that emotional thorn in my side.

Takeaways from reflecting on your kick-ass writing, or kick-ass lack of writing:

Hey, I write pretty well, when I write. And probably that second one is the key, but - hey, we all do what we can, right? This is my first year back at fanfic after a nearly two-decade break, and I hit the ground running ... only to kinda slow down by the end of the year. I think I can keep this up better if I pace myself better and avoid burnout. But also I honestly just can't really control what my brain hyperfixates on, so it'll probably just continue in fits and starts.

Most surprising fic you wrote this year:

Surprisingly just in terms of content, probably the cat Vader crack. Because wtf, that makes no sense, but hey - it works surprisingly well.

Surprising in terms of personally surprising for me - I'm still writing but haven't started to post yet, "Black King," the third in my Dark Empire but make it better and also L/M series. And ... it's kinda long. And it has a plot. And it has multiple chapters. And, reader, I've never done such a thing in my life. But the story keeps growing, and I want to do it justice.

How you grew as a writer this year:

Hey, I'm writing again for the first time in nearly two decades. I'm engaged in fandom again. I've made so many new friends and rekindled so many old connections. And my heart grew three sizes. I'm just ... generally very happy to be doing this again. I don't know if that's growth necessarily, but - I'm here, and I'm so excited to be here.

What’s coming in 2023:

I'm going to finish and start posting "Black King." It's been so fun to write, Luke is being such an asshole, I love him. This boy got one chance in the Legends canon to be a Big Bad, and he would absolutely lean into it, he's a Skywalker, he does everything at 1000%

I gave myself an existential crisis the other day by realizing I've never personally written any Star Wars fics that would pass the Bechdel test of they were onscreen. My stories tend to be either shippy or The Many Adventures of Sunshine Son and Murder Dad, so it just ... hasn't happened. But it's going to! Next year!

This is really my first year back on fanfic after a nearly two decade break, and looking back on some of the things I wrote as a teen is *cringe.* Why did I fridge so many women? Gah. I'm better than this. Or at least now I am. Character growth: it's not just for characters.

I want to write more female characters with agency generally, but especially improve my characterization for Leia, who ranks high up there in My Favs but I don't feel like I can write her for love or money.