#as opposed to someone who is trying very hard to APPEAR like that

[ilgaksu]

HeiHua headcanons or snippets - who asks for physical affection by using their words and who does things that are not word-use to get the physical affection they need but won’t admit to from the other?

I have been percolating over this one. I love this question. Because, listen, I think the obvious fact is Xiao Hua never uses his words to get affection, ever. He hovers or straight up sits next to/on/etc Hei Xiazi to get it, but he would literally rather die than ask to be touched outside of sex.

HOWEVER, while I am of the opinion that, yeah, sure, Hei Xiazi is far better at using words in comparison. This, however, doesn't mean he's good at it, or even likes doing it that much, and I suspect if he was with anyone else who was better at using their words, he would suddenly become terrible. In my version of him, he is a man born in 1890 - who came of age and then predominantly dated during an era where gender roles gave him a performance to fulfill, and that took away some of the embarrassment - but is still very much a 20th century boy. He's got the equivalent of when you have anxiety but your friend has it worse so you can ask for ketchup for them at the restaurant. There's a reason, imo, he's just Going For It and waiting to be told no in their dynamic, and that's even before I position myself as a proponent of Heihua flirting along the lines of Baby, It's Cold Outside as a thing anyway.

(Honestly, this is once again a tale of a man who ended up with a beloved and highly neurotic trophy show-cat for a partner, and is just rolling with the punches.)

[llyfrenfys]

PLEASE TELL US ABOUT Y DDRAIG TRAWS!

Certainly! I'm more than happy to oblige.

First though I'm gonna need to tldr: the history of Y Ddraig Goch before we get onto the (accidentally) canonically trans part.

A brief history of Y Ddraig Goch:

(The modern Welsh flag)

Y Ddraig Goch first appears in the tales of the Mabinogi (Charlotte Guest version) in the tale of Lludd and Llefelys where it is fighting a white dragon. The fight is also described/expanded upon in the c. 829 AD text Historia Brittonum (attributed to Nennius) - where the red dragon represents Wales and the white dragon represents the Anglo-Saxons. In the story the red dragon triumphs over the white. Of course, Geoffrey of Monmouth also covers the story c. 1136 in Historia Regnum Brittaniae in which he introduces the concept of the red dragon heralding the arrival of King Arthur.

Geoffrey of Monmouth claims Arthur used a banner featuring a golden dragon. But we also know the accuracy of Monmouth can be questionable at times. Owain Glyndŵr did use a banner with a golden dragon called Y Ddraig Aur - raised in 1401 at Caernarfon - Glyndŵr chose this banner as a nod to the supposed banner of Arthur and his father.

Later on the Tudor monarchs (being a Welsh family) adopted a red dragon on a white and green background in their heraldry. Eventually Y Ddraig Goch on a white and green background became the official badge of Wales in 1800. The design became the official flag of Wales in 1959.

Y Ddraig Traws:

Now for the thing you're all here for -

So, as outlined, the history of the dragon as a national symbol of Wales goes back a long way. If we're just talking post-1959, there's some interesting implications for Y Ddraig Goch's depiction.

This is what the Welsh flag (and Y Ddraig Goch) looked like in 1959 when it was officially adopted as the flag of Wales. It looks broadly the same as the first flag and has some common features - such as not having a penis (or, as in the correct heraldic terminology - a pizzle). Meanwhile, in the arms of the Tudors (specifically Henry VII)

(Tudor dragon with pizzle) vs (dragon on the flag of Cardiff - pizzleless)

the penis is almost always included. So much to the point that the present royal family still includes the penis. While pretty much 0 depictions of the dragon in Wales include a penis. So you could interpret this as the dragon is seen as male only by the British royal family and as female everywhere else (which kinda implies that at some point the Tudor dragon had an mtf transition in Wales and she keeps getting misgendered by the royal family every time she is depicted in (mostly) England).

So much to the point that in 1995 this pound coin was made by the Royal Mint featuring the pizzle on the dragon with all four feet touching the ground as opposed to standing up (passant rather than rampant).

But in Wales you'd be hard pressed to see a pizzled dragon anywhere. Ergo, we can only conclude Y Ddraig Goch is trans and she transitioned in Wales and keeps getting misgendered in England.

[note: This is mostly tongue in cheek - but I do think it's fun to extrapolate that the Welsh dragon is trans because of the differences in depiction between Wales and England. Like many things Welsh, it is misrepresented by England and the idea of the Welsh dragon being misgendered only in England is, I think, a good metaphor for a whole lot of English treatment of Wales.]

Unrelatedly, there is a gay Welsh flag held at the National Museum of Wales which has a very wonky dragon which I find very endearing.

(cleaned up version I made)

So much so I made it an emoji in my Welsh bilingual LGBTQIA+ Discord (requirements for joining are - be 16+, either speak or are learning Welsh and identify as LGBTQIA+ in some way. Dm for link!).

(triaist ti 'you tried' emoji)

~ Completely unrelatedly ~ never forget the time someone was trying to homophobic to me by suggesting that I was disrespecting all the soldiers who died 'for the Welsh flag' by making it rainbow colours and not red - arguing that any change of colour of the dragon was disrespectful. Reader, my bus pass at the time for Mid Wales Travel had a purple dragon on it.

[to-mah-to27]

Headcanon that Saiki Kusuo collects people with honest intentions.

This might be less of a headcanon and more of just a dissection of the series, but every time Saiki talks about people in general, it's always nihilistic and defeatist.

He doesn't like weddings because of hearing the guest's thoughts and how it directly opposes what they are saying.

He doesn't like Christmas because of how people are always thinking about themselves and what they want rather than about giving and being grateful, which is against the very spirit of the holiday.

Basically, people's thoughts show a darker and more egotistical side of humanity, and overexposure to this has added to the already mountainous problem of Saiki distancing himself from everyone and everything.

Almost every time a new character is introduced, Saiki treats them in this same way, expecting them to be secretly self-absorbed and immoral. But by the end of the short, they prove to be otherwise.

-That's- when Saiki goes all Tsundere and "well I guess I'd rather not owe him a favor or anything" and uses his powers to help them.

Saiki -does- hate Nendou. Until Nendou jumps in to stop him from getting mugged by two other students. Saiki knows he has been nothing but cold and dismissive to this guy, and yet while getting the shit kicked out of him for getting involved, all Nendou does and give him a thumbs up and tell him to run.

Saiki hates Kaidou, too. Sees him as another outcast trying to become friends with him on the principle that they are both alone. Until Kaidou actually jumps in front of the other student to save her from getting attacked by a snake. Kaidou is terrified, yes, and panics and thinks "Why did I do that?" but he still did it. He risked bodily harm and infection to save someone else and -that- is what heroes actually are.

Saiki doesn't necessarily hate Hairo, but he does admit they aren't the type of people who would get along. But then Hairo goes as far as to scrape his knee for Saiki, even if it was to keep him in a game he doesn't really want to play. He recognizes Hairo is someone who sticks to his morals, and he respects that.

Teruhashi took a bit longer, especially because at first she really was the type of person who says something the opposite of what they think. Their relationship is a little more complicated, I think and I've already talked about it before, but I do think that it was when she committed so hard to her appearance that she was willing to eat that "ramen" from the place Nendou showed them. Actions speak much louder than words, as Saiki as a character is a very good example of. At a certain point, is it really a facade if she is willing to go that far?

Basically, Saiki has a soft spot for people who are honest and true.

He can't force himself to really truly push them away like he could do if he really wanted to. Because that's so rare in the world to find a person like that, at least for him, and so it is very difficult to force them out of his life when he knows they are only trying to help.

At least that's how it starts.

I can do another post about the rest of the characters if y'all want

[shadowed-dancer]

Villains and Their Fates - A Tragedy Would Have Been Fine By Me

I've seen a lot of people who try to write off frustration with the league's fates by saying "you just wanted them to survive" or "you're just upset your favourite character died". And while that may be true for a few people, I know that it's at least not true for myself (which must mean there are others who feel the same way). So today I'm here to share my thoughts. Despite liking the villains and wanting them to be redeemed, I was also willing to accept a well written ending if they died. I just wanted to ramble a bit about the three main villains (mostly Toga) and how I felt a tragic ending could have been improved.

The only villain I felt should have lived is Dabi, but that's more because of the awkwardness his unconfirmed death caused for Shoto (read this beautifully written analysis for more). If Dabi had to die, he should have died on the battle field OR in the hospital surrounded by family where he gets a few last words in. Leaving his fate unconfirmed leads to the ruined Shoto arc, but is also just weird for a character who has existed for so long. You're telling me that even Overhaul gets a confirmed ending but DABI doesn't?

I've also talked a bit about how Endeavor's survival ruins the subplot, and in 426 he continues by making Touya's final appearance about him (rather than the two brothers) but that's something I've talked about too much. If Endeavor has to be alive and hogging screen time, the least Hori could do is imply Touya will survive rather than die, so at least Enji isn't literally stealing time from his other family members to have some interaction with Touya.

If Touya has to end up in that machine, an ideal ending would have been the doctor saying "it will be a gruelling and near-impossible uphill climb to recovery" and then Shoto can smile and say "he's done it before". Boom. Simple as that. Leave it open, but at least on a positive note so we can assume that the family will have plenty of time to reconcile, as opposed to an unknown (but limited) amount of time that Enji vows to use to talk to him (yeah I know it's supposed to be a sweet gesture but even Touya calls bullshit on it). Let Shoto and Touya eat their soba, damn it!

For Shigaraki, my grievances extend to the writing of the entire final battle between him and Deku. As such, I don't have much to say aside from that because it really is just a product of poor writing. Neither were really allowed to talk before the big moment (hell, the vestiges were narrating Deku's emotions half the time like "he must be upset, this quirk meant so much to him". Why not let him tell us???) and the back-and-forth of Shigaraki being destroyed and then not only to be destroyed again was too much. It felt sloppy and hard to follow, and once you figured it out it just felt dumb. It's as if each chapter needed some massive reveal, but the story had done it so much at this point that it just felt tired and like it was happening "because Hori said so", and that should never be what drives a story.

Speaking of "because Hori said so"...

Oh Toga. Out of all the villains, I actually liked her confrontation the most. (Lies. If Dabi vs Shoto was the end of Dabi's fight, THAT would have been the best. But the Endeavor fight ruins it). Despite having limited screen time, Toga and Uraraka had a surprisingly well-built dynamic. Their few interactions were actually meaningful and created a strong foundation for a fight, and at the very least they had more of a personal connection than Deku and Shigaraki ever did. I think that Toga giving her blood to someone she loves (as opposed to drinking/taking their blood like she had said the whole series) is a beautifully tragic end to her character, but still something that could have fit.

To me, the problem comes with how she died. Let me replay the scene for you: Toga stabs Uraraka in the stomach and Uraraka bleeds too much because she keeps moving around. Toga then realizes she doesn't want Uraraka to die. To save her life, Toga has to do a blood transfusion with herself as a donor and she dies because she has to give ALL her blood.

Now... sure. Ok. Fine. Yeah. Maybe by real-world logic this makes sense. I guess. Whatever. But within the world of MHA, this setup is laughable.

Here's a list of things characters survived (or at least, they survived LONG ENOUGH to get to a hospital rather than dying on the battlefield): Deku shattering his bones with 1 million percent, whatever happened to Best Jeanist when AFO attacked him, Nighteye getting a massive spike through the torso, All Might with "his entrails strewn across the ground", Bakugo becoming Swiss cheese, Grand Torino being punched so hard a crater forms beneath him, Touya being a literal flaming skeleton, Bakugo's heart exploding, Edgeshot becoming a worm. Mirko getting a limb ripped off and then running full speed at Shigaraki. That's just off the top of my head, I know there's probably more.

But you want to tell me that Uraraka getting stabbed and then moving was a fatal wound that required ALL TOGA'S BLOOD? ALL OF IT? The reason Toga's death bothers me is that the setup cheapens the actual moment of sacrifice. It feels preventable, so when she tells us that Uraraka is going to die without her blood, all I could do is roll my eyes because I'm not allowed to use critical thinking skills, I have to just accept what Hori says and take it at face value.

If the author wants you to live as Edgeworm despite saying you were gonna die, you can. But if the author needs a stab wound to be fatal and require ALL of someone's blood? Well tough luck bud, that's just how it goes. Mirko can run and move all she wants after having a limb ripped off, but moving a bit after one stab wound is fatal. Why? Because I say so.

If Uraraka's wound was actually serious then this ending would have been a beautiful tragedy. But as it stands now, the ridiculousness of her wound makes it all feel preventable.

Oh, there's also the fact that Toga switching blood types when she transforms was never established, but I've rambled enough.

That's it. Thanks for reading!

[eunoia-writes]

Damsel • Felix Catton x Reader

Summary - y/n wasn’t the type to settle down, until she met Felix that is. So when her parents meet him they’re in love her sister however is sceptical

Warnings - implied smut

“Mate I can’t get that girl out of my head.” Felix said taking a sip of his beer while he sat across from Farleigh waiting for the rest of there friends to appear

“Which one? The one you took home?” Farleigh asked lighting a cigarette before handing the box to Felix who sighed while taking a cig for himself and lighting it up

“No no the one friends with Indi.” Felix said taking a drag while Farleigh laughed

“Oh y/n, yeah she’s a sight for sore eyes if I do say so myself.” Farleigh began before laughing “shame she’s so self righteous. Indi says she’s the most opinionated person she knows.”

Almost like it was on cue the girl came walking in with indi and the rest of there friends following behind. Her eyes almost instantly locked with Felix’s and he swore he could have passed out in the spot while she’s claim the butterflies she felt were purely coincidental.

“Hi guys, you remember y/n from last night she’s finally decided to sack off the books not that she needs them the clever cloggs.” Indi said making her friend chuckle as she rolled her eye’s playfully

“Hi y/n.” Felix said with a warm smile while Farleigh took it upon himself to offer her his seat next to Felix “Y/n, you take a seat me and Indi will go get drinks.”

“It’s Felix’s right?” Y/n asked pretending as if she hadn’t memorised this name the second he told her that previous night

“Yeah it’s Felix, how are you? How’s the head?” He asked hinting as to how hard she was going yesterday evening. Y/n laughed as she got comfortable in her seat

“The head is fine however the smell of vodka might make me vomit so I beg of indi not to bring them over.” Y/n said Felix’s eyes had not left her he’d barely even acknowledged the rest of his friends as of yet.

“I’ve never seen someone drink that many vodka sodas.” Felix joked while y/n sarcastically gasped showing fake hurt

“What are you trying to say, Felix?” She joked while the same smile played on his lips

“Oh nothing at all, y/n.” Felix said and with a playful grin, offered her a sip of his beer. Y/n hesitated, Felix gently held the glass to her lips, titling it carefully as she took a mouthful. However, as the bitter taste registered, her expression shifted from curiosity to a grimace. Felix chuckled, realizing her distaste, and quickly pulled the glass away.

“Not a beer girl?” He hummed and she shook her head “hmmm I thought as much.” Y/n faked her offence once again before indi and Farleigh came waltzing back over

“Vodka soda, your favourite.” Indi said handing her the glass as y/n groaned while the two turned to the rest of the group

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll hold your hair back when you start vomming.” Felix joked his arm falling on the back of her chair casually, in reality his heart was racing at a million mile at the anticipation of her pushing it off.

“You’re on thin ice, Felix.” She joked

The rest of the night was spent laughing and joking with the group every now and then the pair breaking off for the own conversations

“No no it’s not romantic in the slightest.” She argued the group had somehow gotten on to the topic of Romeo and Juliet which y/n always had a very opposing idea to the majority. Felix had no care of the topic he just wanted to hear her talk

“How is it not?” Indi asked her friend

“It’s a mockery of young love They both had a severe lack of self identity because of there limits of freedom their family’s put on them Juliet views Romeo as her only freedom because she’s getting forced to marry Paris she sees herself choosing romeo as being free. That being said Juliet was never Romeos first choice he was just depressed that Rosaline didn’t love him back. Juliet was a rebound not a true love.” Y/n explained while Felix started at her In complete awe

“God you’re incredible.” He whispered to himself but she heard and he knew she did from the way her cheeks turned crimson. She quickly excused herself to the bathroom with indi following close behind

“What did I say? Incredibly opinionated.” Farleigh said to his cousin who simply shook his head

“She’s something else.” Felix whispered

Meanwhile In that bathroom, indi sat on the sink while y/n was in the bathroom stall “you know I’ve never seen him like this, or you like this even.” Indi said just before y/n came out of the stall

“What do you mean?” Y/n asked as she began to wash her hands

“Felix is never interested in what anyone has to say but he can’t seem to stop looking at you listening to every word you say and you you’ve never blushed at someone calling you incredible before especially a boy, what happened to my old I don’t need a man y/n?” Indi explained and y/n shrugged while she dried her hands

“You’re thinking too much into this indi, he’s just a sweet guy I’m still same old me.” She said as they left the bathroom.

“It’s getting pretty late we’re thinking off heading off.” One of the other girls said before everyone agreed that it was time to head home.

“Y/n, could I walk you home?” Felix asked she nodded grabbing her things while the rest of the group sorted themselves out they pair didn’t bother to say there goodbyes just leaving the pub and walking back towards campus.

They talked about nothing and everything all at once as they walked almost too close to one another neither one wanting to take things too far. When they got to her door she stood looking up at him after unlocking the door. If this was any other girl they’d of already invited him in but y/n wasn’t like that

“So when can I see you again?” Felix asked and y/n smiled looking at her feet before looking back up at him

“Whenever you’d like.” She said in almost a whisper

“I don’t know if indi has invited you but we’re heading out for drinks tomorrow you should join us.” He suggested and she nodded the pair were dangerously close to one another both still too nervous to make a move.

“I’d love to.”

“I’ll pick you up at 7?” Felix more told than asked and she just nodded before leaning up on her toes

“Goodnight Felix.” She whispered planting a soft kiss on his cheek before disappearing Inside her room.

From that day on the pair were inseparable it didn’t take long for Felix to start calling her his girlfriend much to everyone’s surprise. Wherever she was, he was and vice versa. The pair were joint at the hip.

“There’s my girl.” He said holding his arms open as y/n and Farleigh walked into the library books in hand. Y/n rushed over to him planting a kiss on his lips as he pulled her onto his lap.

“Hi Fi.” She said kissing him once more mumbling how she missed him.

“Hey baby girl.” Her stomach flipped at the nickname, something about that way it rolled off his tounge made her feel like she was the only person in the world that mattered to him. If you asked him, she was.

“So I was thinking…” y/n began her fingers dancing up his arm as he pulled her close

“What we’re you thinking pretty?” He asked his hand dangerously high on her thigh

“All of class I just couldn’t stop thinking about you, your hands, your mouth…” she continued and it didn’t take much more for him to be helping her off his lap

“We’re gonna go.” Was all he said patting y/n’s arse as he grabbed her hand dragging her to her dorm room as quickly as he could.

Flexi had practically moved into her dorm room at this point and tonight was like no other the pair laying in her bed facing each other while his hand rested on her cheek.

“I don’t know I guess everything that happened with Daniel made it hard for me to trust people until you came along.” She said as he listened to every word she said just as he always did

“What happened with Daniel?” Felix asked there has never been anything off limits in there relationship but she’d never spoken about her ex until now.

“He made me do things I didn’t want to do and wasn’t ready for even if I said I didn’t want to. He told me that if I loved him I’d do whatever he asked of me.” She told him and Felix didn’t need to be told what she meant he knew from the look in her eyes

“I’m so sorry that happened to you baby girl.” He said leaning in and kissing her softly she smiled into the kiss, oh how she adored that pet name.

“It’s okay, I have you now.”

“That’s right baby, and I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.” He said as she kissed him again mumbling against his lips

“You’re the sweetest.”

“I’m serious baby, if anyone hurts you, I’ll be going to prison for life.” He said in the most serious tone he could and she knew he meant it. Y/n couldn’t help but smile at his words laughing slightly before adding

“I’ll send you love letters while you’re in there.” Felix connected there lips once again moving to hovering above her one hand holding him up the other toying with her waistband

“Yeah? With Polaroids of you looking all pretty for me?” He asked and she nodded her breathe catching in her throat has his hand slipped under her shorts

“I’ll even where that dress you like so much.”

“God you’re just perfect.”

Y/n groaned half asleep at the knocking on her door “Indi go away.” She mumbled but when the door still swung open revealing her parents and sister she knew she was done for

“Hi darling -Oh!” Her mum said noticing Felix beside her daughter y/n shook Felix awake pulling the duvet over them

“What baby.” He mumbled and she just continued to shake him

“What are you guys doing here?” She asked panicking slightly

“We just thought we’d come for the day and take you to lunch we know how busy your schedule is.” Her sister said not even caring that there was a boy wrapped around her. By now Felix had sat up but was at a lots for words

“Mum, dad, Amelia… this is Felix my boyfriend.” Y/n said nervously

“It’s ah… nice to meet you.” Felix said the air was thick

“We’ll we’re thinking of going for lunch in an hour or so why don’t the two of you get ready and meet us at that little cafe, you know the one we went to last time at 2?” Her mum said trying to bypass the awkwardness of walking in on her daughter in bed with a man she’d never seen before

“Yeah sounds good we’ll see you there.” Y/n said practically shooing them out while her sister lingered back for a few seconds

“It reeks of sex in here.” Amelia added before following her parents out

“God that is not how I thought this morning was going to go!” Felix joked as she groaned burying her face in his chest

“That was so embarrassing.” Y/n mumbled while Felix just laughed dragging her up along with himself in order for them to get ready.

“Are you sure I look okay?” She asked as they stood outside the cafe Felix nodded leaning down to kiss her gently

“You look beautiful baby girl, love it when you wear my clothes.” He said referring to his yellow button up she’d thrown over her dress it practically was the same length as the dress but he still loved it regardless.

“We should head in.” She said grabbing his hand as she opened the door and they headed in. When they got to her table Felix pulled her chair out for her which had her mothers heart swelling with joy

“Hi lovely and this must be the wonderful Felix.” Laurel, her mum said with that warm smile all mothers seem to have.

“It’s nice to meet you, properly.” Felix joked referring to earlier that morning, Felixs took y/n’s hand that rested in the table giving it a small squeeze to help ease her nerves.

“Y/n told us she was seeing someone but I didn’t know it was serious.” Laurel added taking a sip of her coffee that has just arrived. Y/n admired the way nothing had changed her mum would always be the same woman who could barely sit down in a restaurant without having a coffee minutes later

“It kinda just happened mum.” Y/n said her eyes flickering from Felix to her parents

“Well Im glad we get to meet the boy that’s changed our darling girl stance on love.” Her dad, David, said trying to keep his cold front on but he was the biggest softy at heart

“Oh if anything she’s changed mine, she’s really special your daughter.” Felix said looking over at y/n was was looking up at him with nothing but love in her eyes.

“Are you all ready to order?” The waitress asked as she came over to the table

“Yes thank you I’ll have the chicken ceases salad and a Latte please.” Y/n said before everyone else made their orders before her parents started with the usually questions about her academics along with questioning Felix about his.

“Oh Christ.” Y/n mumbled a few minutes later while her parents and sister discussed if it was a red or orange dress there cousin wore to someone’s wedding

“What’s wrong Darling?” Felix asked concerned looking over at her as she chewed on the inside of her cheek

“I forgot to ask for no tomatos.” She said and Felix couldn’t help but smile as she pouted slightly

“Oh! Don’t worry I’ve got you.” Felix flags down the waitress that took down there order previously

“I don’t want to be a pain.” She whispered

“I’m sure they won’t mind.” Felix squeezed her hand softly as the waitress approached the table, Felix gave the girl a warm smile; “I’m awfully sorry but my girlfriend here was being her usual thinking of a million and one things at a time and forgot to ask is there any chance we could get no dressing on that salad.”

“It’s really no problem if not, it’s my fault honestly.” Y/n interjected not wanting to be a pain

“That’s not a problem at all I’ll go tell the kitchen now.” The waitress said with a smile before rushing off towards the kitchen

“See pretty, told you they wouldn’t mind.” Felix said pressing a kiss to y/n’s temple as she smiled

“What would I do without you hey?” She half joked leaning her head on his shoulder for a few seconds

“Perish, I believe.” Everyone but her sister laughed at his joke while Amelia shoot y/n a strange look, one that she couldn’t quit read. Felix pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before politely excusing himself to the bathroom.

“Oh he’s just lovely, y/n.” Laurel said just as he was out of earshot

“I’m glad you like him.” Y/n smiled, she’d never been this nervous to introduce someone to her family but Felix was charming as ever she didn’t need to worry at all

“It’s nice to see someone treating my girl that way she deserves.” Her dad added

“I’m so happy for you, I know it’s been difficult after Daniel but oh Felix is just perfect for you.” Laurel said reaching over to sqeeze her daughters hand

“It really means a lot that you think that, I was really nervous for you to meet him especially after this morning.” Y/n admitted taking a sip of her water

“Oh don’t be silly, that’s nonsense we should have called first.”

“Do you like him melia?” Y/n asked looking at her sister who had been awfully quiet Amelia shrugged

“He seems alright.” Y/n frowned slightly disappointed her sister wasn’t more enthusiastic about her relationship

“Just alright?” Y/n asked and once again her sister shrugged

“I don’t know him so I can’t give an option.”

The rest of the lunch went swimmingly her parents telling Felix how much they adored him and how perfect he was for their daughter. Y/n getting all shy when Felix and her dad make a joke about him making sure to give them a call when he decides to ask for her hand in which he responded oh don’t worry I plan on it

Y/n had convinced her sister to stay with her and Felix for the evening insisting she gets a taste of Oxford for when she starts In Autumn. They had decided to get the group together and head to the local pub they always went to.

Y/n sensing the need for a breath of fresh air, leads her sister into the Pubs smoking area, a sanctuary of sorts in the midst of all the madness. The cold breeze nips at their faces as they find a secluded corner. Surrounded by the soft hum of distant traffic, Amelia breaks the silence.

“Y/n, do you really like Felix I mean come on this is nothing like you.” She asks watching as her sister takes a drag of her cigarette looking at Amelia confused

“What do you mean?” Y/n asked watching the way Amelia sighed as she sat on the wall letting y/n join her

“All of it you know, him calling you Darling, acting as if you’re codependent what happened to feminist iconic y/f/n.” Amelia asked and y/n let out a soft chuckle knowing exactly what Amelia was getting at

“First of all, i am a feminist obviously and you know as well as I do that I'm fine without a man but But don’t know I think I would his protection.” Y/n half joked but Amelia was dead serious about the topic

“But you’re not some damsel in distress though y/n.”

“That not the point though Amelia, I like that he wants to protect me I like that he wants to Wrap his arm around me, And tell me that he’ll keep me safe and before you say it I know I can protect myself But when he does it for me, it's hot as hell.” Y/n explained smiling as she thought about her boyfriend and how he’d just do anything for her without her even having to ask that of him.

“I just don’t want him to dim your light because yes he seems wonderful and I’m sure he’s lovely but you are everything. he is just a boy.” Amelia said. She had always admired her sister more than she cared to admit and it would kill her to see her lose the glimmer in her eyes over some boy.

“You know me better than I know myself that would never happen and he knows that.” Y/n put her cigarette out just as Felix came wondering outside his face lighting up when his eyes fell on the pair

“There you two are I’ve been searching all over.” He said as y/n stood up from her spot letting Felix wrap his arm around her waist and press a kiss to her temple as she melted into the embrace

“Hi darling.” She said looking up at him with nothing but adoration behind her eyes

“How’s my sweet girl, what we chatting about?” He asked looking too her sister and back to y/n

“I’m good and we were just talking about Amelia coming to Oxford next year.” Y/n shot her sister a wink as Amelia then stoop up

“Oh you’d love it here plus you’d fit right in everyone loves your sister they’re bound to love you.” Felix told Amelia who smiled looking at her sister

“It’s impossible not to love Her.”

“Oh don’t I know it, your sister here is one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met she has this way of making you feel like you’re the most important person in the room without ever making herself smaller she’s incredible, darling you’re incredible.” He rambled gushing about his girlfriend who couldn’t help but blush

“You’re just the sweetest aren’t you.” She said leaning up to plant a kiss on his cheek

“I’ll give it to you y/n, he’s far better than all the others.” Amelia said making Felix smile

“I’m going to take that compliment.”

[cripplecharacters]

I really enjoyed the post you reblogged about how disabled people still have communities, especially in the modern day. But what if you’re not writing a story set in the present day? What if you’re writing fanfiction for a universe that is set way behind ours, and doesn’t appear to have any real communities for disabled people? I want to write a story about the founding of the first community for disabled people in that world. But how would you found something like that? I’m considering them going to the ruler of the land, who is invisibly disabled. But what should the steps be from there? Where should they meet, and what kind of accessibility concerns do I need to think about? I know about ramps for wheelchairs and lights that can be dimmed for autistic people, but what else? What would the community do? Would it just be social, or would it do activism?

Hi! So:

Depending on how your world is already built is when you would determine what changes or accommodations your characters would want to build or improve. For example, a medieval-technology-level world where no one builds stairs anyway is already accessible in that way for wheelchair users, even if it's far behind us technologically.

Community is often social, yes, but when communities, even social-based ones, need help or justice (with laws, with accommodations, or anything else), they often turn to activism to get their needs met.

For example: communities with d/Deaf people often develop sign languages. If the number of deaf people is high enough, maybe even hearing people will commonly use sign language. Sign language will be necessary for deaf people to communicate, especially in a world with no hearing aids. But the community could later develop to activism: ensuring there's interpreters available, or that information is presented in formats other than just audio format, like captions and transcripts.

As to accessibility concerns: think about common disabilities, and how those need to be accommodated. You've mentioned ramps and dimmable lights. I'll comment on those first, then add a bit

Ramps for wheelchairs: A pretty big one, and very necessary. But how about accessible doorways? Wheelchairs are usually wider than people. How about accessible seating that ensures a person can transfer into it or sit with their wheelchair? Bathrooms that can fit a wheelchair, and maybe a carer as well?

Dimmable lights: These can be helpful for autistic people, yes. But I'd love it if you consider something else as well: conflicting access needs. Many visually impaired people, for one, will need lights to make the most out of their remaining vision. This is hard to solve sometimes because just like in real life, things are not universal. The solution might be sunglasses for the person sensitive to light, or maybe the person who needs more light gets an extra light source.

Blindness and deafness are both very common disabilities worldwide today, and will likely be common in your world too, and would need to be accommodated. How about interpreters or transcripts? Braille or another tactile alphabet? Intellectual disability and cognitive impairments (permanent and temporary) are very common too. How about easy to read documents with clear information as opposed to jargon, if your setting uses documents? How about encouraging asking questions, or having someone take notes? How about trying to use clear language as often as possible?

Many disabled people need breaks often, whether that's physical or mental. How about areas where they can do that? How about just the acceptance that this is needed? Many disabled people need carers, too, whether this is all the time or only occasionally. How about ensuring these carers are available and well-compensated from their work? How about people making sure these carers treat the disabled person they care for fairly? How about ensuring a disabled person can bring their carer along to something, whether it's a social event or an informational event or what have you?

This is not an exhaustive list and could never be, because various people have differing needs and it depends on the needs of the people in your community. Something that helps someone might hinder someone, and in life it is a balance. What would help is if everyone is able to advocate for their needs, and the community and those who interact with them can figure out how to best fit those needs.

You will have a lot to think about, and keep in mind that disabilities are immensely varied and there's so many of them with and without overlap.

- Mod Sparrow

Hi!

Some of the ways that disability communities could, and have formed, are heavily influenced by what's going on in the world!

In pre-modern times, disabled people would eventually end up together because resources to treat or care for us weren't readily available. That means that disability communities would form at hospitals, or areas where many people rapidly became sick or wounded for one reason or another. This can happen quickly, and it could be the case that what is now the disabled community of the region used to be just the community of ABC City before river blindness became a problem.

If someone became (or was born) disabled, and there was One Place around you where this person could receive care, they would visit there sooner or later. Assuming this happens often enough, a community will form.

For accessibility, it really depends on the type of community it is. If it's supposed to be extremely diverse, you will have a ton of things to consider - wheelchair users, little people, blind people, Deaf people, autistic people, intellectually disabled people, people who require 24/7 care... It will be a lot to think about.

If it's a community where everyone (or the big majority) has similar needs, then there's a high chance that only their needs would be considered. Disabled people, like most people, think of themselves first - if the community is, for example, primarily autistic, they might not consider the needs of DeafBlind people much or at all. That's what happens in real life, unfortunately. In a scenario where a person tries to join that community and finds it inaccessible, a second, different community would form. And it could go on like this for more or less forever.

Would it just be social, or would it do activism?

Both, probably. Communities start as social, but over time, as they grow, activism is needed. The focus changes as the community "matures". But they will always be parts that are purely social, and parts that are ready to fight for their rights by any means necessary. It's just the ratio of these two that shifts.

I hope my answer helped!

mod Sasza

[cerastes]

As someone who hasn't touched it yet- how does IS4 stack up? How's first impressions been?

Ok, let me give my thoughts on IS4, now that it's been a week!

TL;DR -> This Rocks, I love it.

IS4 is far, far more polished than IS3. I feel a bit bad blasting and slamming IS3 so much, but the bottom line with it is that it's just very very flawed in ways that really make it hard to revisit it in the same way IS2 is always a fun romp.

If I had to point out flaws with IS4, it'd be that, on a personal level, I wish it had a few more Normal Arknights Maps. The vast majority of maps in IS4 are pranks and checks of some sort. This isn't necessarily a negative, but I do like playing some Tower Defense more frequently than what IS4 allows, since it's always got me worried about "oh god my team lacks X, Floor Y's Map Z checks X, if I get it, I'll D I E " so I try to go for my super tried and true team instead of daring to experiment all that much. This will eventually pass, but it's been a Thing for me.

Besides that, though? I just have a lot of good things to say about it. The systems feel like they were thought out this time: The Fordartals (sp?) system allows for a lot of player expression, agency, and just in general fun in a way the Light system of IS3 can simply never hope to compare to. About the only thing the Light system did right was the way it worked thematically: If you wish to confront The Corrupting Heart, you really, really gotta go in the dark, and for the best possible chance against, Izumik, Mizuki must find the Light again and be filled with hope. Yeah ok sure, thematically, these work, but the gameplay component sucks ass, because Light exists almost exclusively as a form of punishment and in basically no way as something you can use. It opens some roads, sure, but that Rogue Trader and Wish Fulfilled node are not worth having 9 out of you 11 Operators with Metastatic. Speaking of Metastatic, the single worst thing Arknights has done, even if you are maxed out on Collapse in IS4 and are packing four fully upgraded maluses, THAT STILL DOESN'T COMPARE to how bad Metastatic was. Let that sink in.

The endings are no longer RNG! Absolutely wonderful!

Eik is the first IS 2nd Boss I can say I think is good! Frozen Monstrosity was just annoying, Big Sad Lock is incredibly static, and The Last Knight, in my opinion, is the single worst and most boring boss in the entire game, not even just the game mode. Eik is like if The Last Knight didn't suck: Same principle, but done in a way that is actually not snooze-inducing. Mind you, the principle of the fight is still not something I enjoy, but unlike The Last Knight, that's wholly a me thing, as opposed to being an objectively awful and boring fight (like The Last Knight, the worst and most boring boss in Arknights).

Even though I said I'd like some more normal maps, the maps are good, to be honest! I can't think of any Fire and Water Unions or Out of Controls.

IS4 is the Smash of Arknights: (Almost) Everyone Is Here! Brush up on your gimmicks from various events, because they WILL appear.

The Midboss philosophy in IS4 is lovely, in my opinion: It's low HP bosses who can quickly fuck you up in their own way, be it stun, immense conditional damage, or simply supporting their team so well that you get overwhelmed. The Variant stages for the bosses are entire new maps, so that's also cool.

Collapsal enemies are congruent with the map design: Collapsals can be very quick, with a caveat: Normal Collapsal mobs speed up after they get hit, Casters speed up after not attacking for a bit, Aerials are fast but always have many loops and never directly go to the point until after a while. Shattered Champions are the exception, and they can either loop a while or just go straight for the jugular, making them apt Elite units for the faction.

There's much more I could say more concisely, but really, just try the game mode, get your ass kicked a bit, learn it, and then you'll see how coherent the design of IS4 is in terms of systems, maps, enemies, and features. Sorry, IS3, but you got your ass absolutely kicked like I did on my Waves 15 runs when you'd give my 2 main DPS units Metastatic on Floor 5.

[writingseaslugs]

Heartslabyul NSFW Headcanons

Alright, the first in the NSFW Headcanons! These will be shorter than the “Romance Headcanons” I did since it’s already an established relationship so I’m not having to write about the start of the crush and etc. Five bullet points each! Enjoy the sin~!

Disclaimer: All characters in this series are aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post. This post also has explicit content. If you’re under the age of 18, or are uncomfortable with this form of content, please skip this post. My beta reader is grammarly.

Content Warning: Collars, public sex, mentions of rough sex, food play, kinks mentioned.

Heartslabyul (You're Here) | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia

NSFW Headcanons

Riddle Rosehearts

Getting intimate with Riddle is going to take some time. Sure this is college, and sure everyone is of consenting age, but he is still the dorm head and has to keep up appearances. Not to mention intimacy is still a new concept, so to throw him into the deep end with sex? It’s going to take a lot of discussions, and he will be making a list of things you can and can’t do. You’re probably going to feel like you’re signing a kink negotiation contract when he brings it up, but it’s all for the benefit of your enjoyment, so just sign it (make edits if you need to).

The biggest thing that he asks you don’t do is leave marks in obvious places. Again, he has appearances to keep up, so he’d rather not have a giant hickey on his neck that he has to cover with makeup before classes. If it’s a part of his body that is always covered up, he doesn’t mind. He might even leave a few on you in some more respectable places. It’s really going to depend on how revealing you wear your clothes. If you wear crop tops outside of class, don’t be expecting anything on your stomach.

It’s going to be a private affair. No spontaneous fucking in the broom closet between classes. Your bedroom, or his bedroom. You can decide which you’re more comfortable with. If it’s over at Ramshackle, though, make sure Grim is out of the house for the day. Also, always lock the doors and try to keep the noise down. If need be, he will put a gag over your mouth if you’re being too vocal (as long as you’re fine with it).

He can be either a top or a power bottom, with no in-between. He enjoys being on top, though; having control is everything to him, and he appreciates it if his partner is okay. If he doesn’t know how to navigate something, be sure to help him. He isn’t opposed to trying new things with you as long as it’s within reason, but give him some warning ahead of time. He likes to research these things, so he knows exactly what to do and how to please you.

He’s more of a soft dom/service dom. He wants to make sure his partner is feeling the best they can and makes sure you’re always coming first in bed. He does like it when his partner is being a bit rebellious, though; the thought of his signature spell’s collar around your neck is something he enjoys. It’s a bit hard to rile the man up, especially in public, but just act a little bratty he’ll be more than happy to put you in your place.

Trey Clover

He is another dom but he knows his way around someone. Whether he’s done these kinds of things before or is just very intuitive to your body and needs, who knows. You thought him teasing you before was bad? Honey, it’s about to get so much worse. The lingering touches that get closer up your thighs, the brush of his lips against the junction of your neck. Trey likes to get you riled up before finally giving you what you want. He likes you hot and bothered, desperate for him.

He is more gentle in bed, but if you’re the one riling him up, then he doesn’t mind pushing your face into the mattress and fucking you until you literally can’t walk the next day (he’ll apologize and offer to bring your classwork to you, but the way he’s smirking holds no remorse).

He finds you to be pretty cute at times and will call you so while he’s fucking you. He enjoys seeing you on top of him at times, but he’s always the one who controls the pace. Whenever he’s feeling the mood, he’ll sit you down on his cock while he studies and has you wait until he’s done before he actually moves. The entire time he has one hand on your thigh, rubbing soothing circles and telling you how good you’re being.

He’s not opposed to food play, but you might have to convince him a bit. He’s not a fan of how messy it can get, and he likes to keep cleaning up to a minimum. Still, he doesn’t mind a little bit of whip cream and chocolate sauce that he can lick up from your body. Try not to get too cheeky with it and get it over his sheets. He can and will make you run them to the washer on wobbly legs if you do.

Like PDA, Trey doesn’t like public affairs. He prefers the sanctuary that is his bedroom or your room. More often than not, it’s at Ramshackle, as people have a tendency to barge into his room if he forgets to lock it. He doesn’t have to worry about how vocal you are at Ramshackle as long as Grim is gone. Hopefully, the ghosts find something other to do unless they want to listen to the show.

Cater Diamond

If you’re not suggesting trying something new, then Cater is. Exploring your sexuality seems like a fun thing to do and a great way to bond. So expect to be sitting on his lap while he teased you, exploring the web for different things to try. As long as it’s not something gross, Cater is more than willing to give it a try with you. After you guys fuck for the first time, you’re basically already having to make a safe word for the things you’re planning.

Yes, he will use his clones with you. Hell, sometimes he’ll just sit there and watch one of his clones absolutely rail you while he tells you how lovely you look. If you have a signature spell like that, you have to at least try it at some point. You bet he’ll also suggest a bukakke if you’re down for it. If not, that’s chill too. As long as you guys are having fun, he’s down for whatever.

He will be wanting to take photos and record you. He swears up and down he has a super secure way of keeping them away from any hackers (but if someone really wanted to and they were skilled enough, I’m sorry, but it’s getting leaked). If you’re really opposed to it, then he won’t. If you’re down, expect there to be a camera in your face when his dick is in your mouth.

Cater is a switch, through and through. He enjoys being top and bottom and is willing to try whatever at least once. If you want to get railed by him, so be it. If you want to be the one railing him, he’s going to ask what position you want him in. When you’re on top, though, he wants you to be recording. He always wondered what he looked like in those positions, and this is a great way. He’s also going to let you keep them in case you ever missed him, and he wasn’t there.

Be expecting some risqué text messages at the worse time. You’re sitting in Trein’s class, but things are boring? Be careful opening that text from Cater because it might be him holding his dick while in the bathroom, asking if you wanted to come to join him. If you send him nudes as well, he’s saving every single one before deleting them from his messages. They’re for his eyes only.

Ace Trappola

Almost as soon as you guys are properly dating, he’s going to want to get into your pants. Doesn’t matter how embarrassing it is; he wants you bad. He spent way too many nights fantasizing about you to be able to contain himself. You’re either going to have to meet him with the same enthusiasm or tell him to calm down and give you some time. He will pout if it’s later, but be understanding.

When it finally does happen, expect it to be a little clumsy. He isn’t the most experienced in this kind of stuff. Sure he’s watched plenty of porn, but he’s not a dumbass and knows a lot of it’s unrealistic. You’re going to have to be the one to tell him to slow down and just explore each other’s bodies a bit. Find out what makes the other tick. You’re going to have to hound him about foreplay, though, because he might try to skip it and get to the good part.

He’s a pretty quick study, and after a few times, he’s able to play your body like a fiddle. He loves seeing how loud he can get you by just playing around with you. Making you cum before he even puts it in is the most satisfying thing ever for him. Sometimes when you guys are hanging out, you can expect him to snake his hand between your legs and play with you absentmindedly while talking about random thoughts.

He loves you being desperate for him. If he can rile you up all day at school to the point where you’re jumping him the moment you can, he’ll feel accomplished. It makes him feel wanted, and you bet it’s going to be a long night. He has stamina and can get pretty creative when he learns something new. Expect to be trying new things all the time. Sometimes when you least expect it, like when he drags you into a bathroom stall during lunch to show you a new oral technique he heard about.

He prefers to be dominant, but if you can get him to be more submissive, he will be the whiniest and most needy sub ever. Begging you to touch him and make him cum. Overstimulation is right up his alley as well, so please pamper him. Aftercare is a must, or else you’re going to have to deal with a very bratty Ace who will return the favor tenfold the next time he gets you alone.

Deuce Spade

Deuce isn’t going to bring it up. No matter how much he wants you, no matter how much he’s found himself jacking off to the thought of you, he’s not going to bring it up for a good while. He doesn’t want to disrespect you, even if you’re giving him the most obvious signs known to man. Seriously, sit on his lap and make out with him, grind down on his crotch, and tell him how much you want to feel him inside you. It will cause almost a switch to go off in him.

He’s very much a service dom and will do whatever you ask him to do. He’s also going to be the most prepared, having condoms and lube on hand (he was mortified when his mother handed him these things but was thankful when they came out to be helpful). He’s going to take his time exploring your body and playing with you, asking you how you touch yourself and mimicking it.

Clearly, being a slow learner doesn’t apply to this situation. He’s instinctual with this kind of thing and has you writhing underneath him in no time. In the end, he will be asking how he did, if it felt good, and how he can improve. Just kiss him to shut him up. He’s going to be doing research later down the road to find out what works best for you, no doubt.

Public sex isn’t something he’d normally be a fan of, but if he takes you out somewhere away from others, he doesn’t mind. That date is on the edge of the forest under the stars? He’s bringing a blanket next time so he can make love to you. Be expecting him to treat you like fine china, afraid he’ll break you if he’s too rough.

It doesn’t happen often, but on occasion, he can get a bit possessive. Mainly if someone is picking on you or, worse, flirting with you. Maybe he gets into a scuffle or something. It’s the only time he’s going to be rough with you. He’s going to fuck you until you can’t walk and then treat you like royalty after, praising how good you did for him. He’s the king of aftercare. Will make sure you’re well taken care of after such an intense session.

[yandere-daze]

This is probably the most niche thing I have ever posted but I just finished playing Tyrion Cuthbert: Attorney of the Arcane ( a game you should totally play btw!!) and I have many horrible thoughts about this man. I´m going to go insane if I don´t put this out into the world sooo... here we go!

I also feel like at some parts it kind of doubles as a character study so take that, I guess?

MAJORS SPOILERS FOR TYRION CUTHBERT: ATTORNY OF THE ARCANE! Please play the game!

3.4k words

gn reader

tw yandere, stalking, manipulation, murder, societal pressure, guilt-tripping, obsession

General Yandere! Aster Headcanons

So Aster himself is a very interesting character in my opinion. He´s very idealistic and sees the corruption of the nobility in the kingdom to be completely unacceptable. He cares a great deal about the commonfolk and because of that, the crown prince is very well-liked by the public, even before he becomes the king

Compared to many other nobles who are haughty, arrogant, or intimidating, Aster gives off the vibes of someone who is very friendly and approachable. Something about him just feels different in comparison.

And it is this friendly and open-minded appearance that would make his darling feel more at ease when approaching him to talk. Talking to Aster just doesn´t feel as scary or annoying as having to speak with other nobles. His positive attitude actually makes conversing with him an enjoyable experience

I think it might actually be more likely for him to fall for a commoner instead of a noble. Nobles in the court are cutthroat and only interested in their own wealth and power and Aster is just sick of that. You being a commoner means that there´s a better chance for you to actually be an honest and hard-working person, something I think he would want in a partner.

If you are a commoner, you might accidentally meet him when Aster is out and visiting the city for once. As we can see in Chapter 3, he would try to hide his identity as the crown prince from you if you don´t recognize him. He much prefers you talking to him as if he was simply any other person as opposed to you bowing down before him and carefully choosing your words if you were to find out who he was. He would instruct the Kingsguard to follow him a bit more discreetly, so as not to catch your eye and to never openly acknowledge his title when in your presence. He´d hate for this casualness with you to be destroyed like that.

You two talk about your daily life and the struggles you face ( him being very careful and vague when talking about his own profession, as he doesn´t want you to find out about his rank). Even though he gives off a cheerful and exciteable impression, he is indeed listening very carefully to what you have to say and makes sure to memorize it all. He needs to know everything there is to know about you, needs to know all of your preferences and opinions.

He listens especially carefully when you mention your frustrations with the nobility, how they wield all the power and money in the world and keep it to themselves while the common folk have to slave away while worrying about if they can afford the roof above their heads this month. His gaze noticeably darkens for a moment as he hears this but it´s quickly gone when he nods his head and agrees with what you´re saying. The nobility is a blight on this land.

It´s very frustrating for Aster to hear this because he knows it´s true. His visits have shown him firsthand how bad daily life for the common folk can be. He has seen with his own eyes how the members of noble houses can get away with absolutely anything. Even the justice system protects them, all their crimes are simply swept under the rug or an innocent civilian is forced to take the fall for them. It´s atrocious and Aster is so frustrated that nothing is done about it. He wants things to change but he´s only the crown prince, he doesn´t yet have the power to change things. He needs to bide his time until he becomes king and then he will rip all these corrupt off their power.

But it´s still quite some time until then so for now, he needs to focus on what he can do while he´s still powerless.

Hearing you speak about wanting to make the world a better place for the common folk in your own way with such conviction really resonates with Aster. All his life, he´s been surrounded by vultures trying to curry favor with him for when he ascends the throne in the future. He has seen countless forced smiles and false promises but he can see in your eyes that you speak with truth and honesty. And he can´t help but really resonate with that. He likes talking with someone like-minded that doesn´t treat him differently, someone that he can be himself around.

Aster can´t help but visit the city more frequently from then on, telling his father that he has important business to attend to there as an excuse. Well, it´s not really a lie, is it? Seeking you out couldn´t be any more important to him.

You´re quite surprised by how often you seem to randomly see Aster nowadays when you hadn´t at all seen him before but maybe he just moved in recently? You don´t know that he secretly orders guards to follow you around daily to then report to him what you did all day. As much as it pains him, he can´t simply go out every single day so hearing about your day is the next best thing. This way, he also gets to learn about the things you do in your day-to-day life or the things you do when you think no one is watching. Oh, how he longs to have been there himself, just watching you! His heart yearns for you and yet his princely duties often leave him way too busy to visit you as often as he would like to. But well, at least he always knows exactly where to find you if he ever finds himself with enough free time <3

But well, there is one very simple but very big problem with this situation, aside from him being the crown prince and you a commoner. He has been in an arranged marriage for years now. Ever since they were little, Aria Steelwind, a noble of one of the four main noble houses has been promised to him. And he has never been more disgruntled by this than now.

Sure, he did respect Aria in some ways. Instead of simply living her cozy noble life, she took her own path as a prosecutor to fight for justice within the corruption that is their justice system. She´s the only prosecutor willing to arrest a noble for their crimes and yet, her actions change so very little. What a naive fool she is to think that working within the system is going to have any sort of lasting impact.

No, Aster knows better. He has seen his father having to make all sorts of compromises to not displease the nobility when introducing changes. What was left were only hollow words and small changes. Small changes would never be enough to truly change this world for the better. Aster knows that if he wants things to change, he will have to take things into his own hands

From there on out, things would go over much like in the game during case 5, which is why this is my last major spoiler warning. Please do not continue reading from here if you don´t want the game spoiled for you as I will discuss the events happening at the end here.

Alright, so. Case 5. Naturally, for the sake of continuing this headcanon post, I´ll have to change up things a bit because otherwise, Aster is a little bit too dead to continue plaguing his darling afterwards. So let´s assume that in this timeline, Aster actually gets away with his crimes for one reason or another.

He used Aria´s affection and love for him and tricked her into signing a blood contract by disguising it as a marriage license. Now, Aster has full control over her mind and body, her soul forever his to use. And he didn´t hesitate for even a moment to use her as a means to further his own goals.

It was way too easy to use the contract to control her body, forcing her to go out and kill several important nobles attending the king´s funeral while he stayed behind, creating an alibi for himself. And truly, after several witnesses saw Aria kill these pesky nobles, who would ever think the new king would have anything to do with it? He wasn´t even close to any of the crime scenes!

And of course, it´s even easier to completely erase Aria´s memories of what took place. And now that he has completely covered his tracks, no one can prove that Aster had anything to do with it.

By doing all of this, Aster has killed two birds with one stone: He has successfully killed two heads of four of the main noble houses and his fianceé is going to prison for what she has done, effectively ending their engagement. Now Aster is the one sitting on the throne with the noble houses significantly weakened without a family head to guide them, making them less of a threat to his power. Now that he has all the power, he will change the kingdom for the better.

Of course, the common folk only learn about the fact that Aster has ascended the throne with the news kindly leaving out the fact that a massacre had taken place. Still, with this new information getting out it´s almost impossible for you not to learn of Aster´s true identity. All this time, the person you had been conversing with so casually was the then-prince, now-king of this kingdom. To say you´re shocked would be an understatement. What are you supposed to do now? Oh, you can´t even begin to think about how many times you must have disrespected him by speaking to him as if he were simply any other person. Surely nobles must have some sort of rules regarding addressing people, no?

Oh, you must have embarrassed yourself thoroughly in front of him! But then again, he was very nice when he was talking to you and even enjoyed joking around. So maybe he was different? You weren´t quite sure but thinking about it that way made things easier for you.

To say you were shocked when King Aster de Wyverngarde stood in front of your door one day would be a grave understatement. You don´t know what to say or what to do, now that you know who he truly was. Are you supposed to bow down in front of him? I mean he´s the king so you probably should, right?

Aster merely sighs disappointedly when you clumsily bow down in front of him.

"There´s no need for such formalities. We´re close, right? You don´t need to bow down in front of me."

"But.. you´re the king, right? I mean, it feels weird to talk to you so normally now."

He´s quite saddened to hear this. He knew this would be how you would react if you found out the truth, it´s the very reason why he went to such lengths to prevent you from finding out.

"Don´t worry, nothing has changed between the both of us. May I take you for a walk?"

He smiles and offers his arm to you, only nodding his head and assuring you that it´s fine when you seem to hesitate. So you go along and let him lead you out of your home and into the bustling center of the city, where the streets are filled with people. Naturally, everyone gathers outside and cheers when they see the new king walking along the streets.

Aster is very well-liked by the common folk for his open and honest demeanor and his willingness to help them. Everyone has high hopes for him, believing that he will be the one to finally make things fairer for them, the one to push back against the corrupt nobles using them for their own gain. And well, in one way or another, they´re certainly right about that. Aster doesn´t hesitate when it comes to removing vultures feeding off of other´s hard work.

After getting over their initial excitement over seeing the beloved king, people begin to notice that you´re holding onto his arm as he walks you around town with a wide smile on his face and people begin whispering amongst themselves. Who are you and why are you with the prince? Judging from your clothes, you are a commoner just like them so how do you know him? And young Aster seems to be holding you awfully close, is something going on there? Everyone has heard that the engagement with Aria Steelwind fell through because she had turned out to be just as corrupt as all the other nobles, breaking Aster´s heart. Were you his new love? It would certainly be something for the king to be in love with a commoner.

You´re beginning to notice the people whispering and you get quite uncomfortable at their staring when Aster suddenly stops and turns around to face you. You almost walk right into his arms at the sudden stop, a sheepish look on your face. Aster simply smiles and takes one of your hands into his, staring right into your eyes.

And then the rug is pulled from right under your feet as Aster gets down on one knee, the crowd quickly bursting into cheers as he pulls out a small little box and presents it to you.

"My love", he begins speaking and you feel your heart plummet into your stomach. You notice that he seems to be talking quite loudly on purpose, as the crown quickly reacts to his words, growing silent as to listen carefully.

" We have known each other for a long time now. We had to hide and share our love in secret. But from this day onward, I want us to show ourselves to the rest of the world, to let them see the love and devotion we have for one another."

You´re just standing there, frozen in shock, almost incapable of processing his words. Our love? Just what was he talking about?!

"As you well know, I have gone through immense heartbreak in the past, I have had my trust and heart broken once before but with you, I want to start over. I trust you completely and vow to be by your side for all eternity if you will have me. I love you more than anything, my love. Will you give me the honor of taking me as your husband?"

The atmosphere is tense, the people around you holding their breath in anticipation but some voices still ring out from inside the crowd.

"I can´t believe it, a king proposing to a commoner! His love for them must be so strong, it´s so romantic!"

"The king is such a kind and benevolent soul, they must be overcome with happiness right now! Look, I think they´re on the verge of tears!"

"It truly is terrible what happened with his past engagement. To be betrayed like that, His Majesty must have been beside himself with grief. He deserves this new chance at love."

You hear voices ringing out all around you, and you feel completely overwhelmed, unsure of what you should do now. Everyone looks at you so expectantly, everyone is practically screaming at you to say yes and yet, that´s not what you want. You´ve never even thought about marrying Aster, to have this sprung on you so suddenly is terrifying. You feel like you´re losing your grip on yourself when you suddenly feel a squeezing feeling on your hand.

With a start, you look down to see Aster holding your hand tightly, enacting almost an excruciating amount of pressure. The look on his face is more akin to a smirk now than the soft and innocent look he had before. He knows that there´s no way you could say no under these circumstances. By dragging you out into a public area he has forced your hand to agree to his proposal.

What foolish commoner would ever reject a king? It would be a blatant show of disrespect and they would surely be shunned by their peers for being so ungrateful. Furthermore, Aster had a great reputation amongst the common folk, no one would show you any sympathy if you tried telling them that he was lying about you being in love. Who would ever believe you over the ruler of this country? If they´re being charitable they would chalk up your protests to being shy about the entire ordeal.

You´d also have to be a real monster to reject King Aster´s heartfelt declaration of love after he had already been betrayed by his past fianceé not very long ago. How could you hurt him after what he went through? Of course, no one knows what really happened with Aria, no one knows how Aster was the one who used and manipulated her. The truth had been conveniently hidden from the public and twisted to serve his own goals. After all, who would want a known murderer sitting on the throne?

And it is through all this pressure that you finally crumble, a solemn expression on your face as you mutter the word Aster had been wanting to hear you say so desperately.

"Yes", you relent.

The dark expression on his face immediately vanishes and he gets up from his kneeing position, wrapping one arm around you while using his other hand to slide the ring on your finger. This is the happiest day in his life and sooner or later, you will see this his way.

Naturally, after what you had just witnessed, the facade is gone and you no longer see Aster as an innocent and kind person only looking out for the best of others. You don´t learn about the true darkness within him and the crimes he has committed in the name of "doing what needs to be done", but you know that he can´t be fully trusted.

Aster is of course saddened by this because he wants you to love him just as much as he loves you but he figures that there´s nothing to be done about it now. You will simply grow to love him in time, there is no other option for you now. Your fate is already sealed, how would you ever get away from the king and more importantly, your fiance? You two are engaged and everyone knows about it, he made sure that the news would be spread fast. A king marrying a commoner is very unorthodox and almost scandalous but if anything, it only makes the common folk trust him even more.

Now that you´re engaged, Aster won´t let you stay at your old home anymore, he sends a carriage to immediately pick you up and take you to the castle where you will be living for the rest of your days. There, he will try to spend as much time with you as possible within his very busy schedule. He believes that sooner or later, you will come around to your new life. He understands that this must be all very shocking for you right now but he´s sure you will get used to it.

In the meantime, he will gift you anything you might ever wish for. Anything to get you accustomed to your new life by his side, anything to win back your favor after the stunt he had pulled when proposing to you.

Rest assured though that he´ll never let you wander away from him too far. You´ll spend most of your time within the castle walls and when he can´t be with you, he will still send guards to trail behind you and keep you safe while also keeping tabs on you.

He tries to be soft with you, trying really hard to gain back your trust. He quite likes holding you close, holding your hand, or kissing your cheek. It feels so romantic. This is the love he had been denied all his life, this is what he always wanted.

Naturally, he won´t let anyone interfere with your relationship. You are his and anyone that thinks differently has to be removed. He has no remorse when it comes to getting rid of any perceived rivals, though he wouldn´t get his hands dirty himself. Anyone that defies him must be removed, it´s the only way that he can build his ideal world, a world in which you are by his side forevermore.

[hetafice]

Yesssss yandere hetalia!! Can I request yandere Russia

hey! i’m combining this with another request that asked for ivan with an introverted s/o. hope you enjoy nonetheless.

yandere!russia headcanons :

Ivan is a man who contains innumerable facades. Vulnerability is hard to get from him, which is why he is so taken aback when he meets his darling. Anyone special enough to catch his attention and keep it must have some sort of hold over him -- and he cannot have that.

He would initially try to distance himself from you, and then after realizing that does not work, he would try to exercise as much control over the situation as possible.

He takes an almost managerial role, employing the use of strict guidelines and occasional punishments to gain a semblance of control.

Once he acknowledges his feelings towards you he will sit and machinate ways to get you to reciprocate his feelings. He regards you as an object that he needs to get sooner rather than later. He would understand that it might be difficult to get you to come off your own volition, so he is not entirely against using force to get you to be with him should his attempts at courting fail.

Ivan often finds himself exhibiting certain behaviors not because he wants to, but because he thinks that these behaviors are what a normal person would do. This leads him to think that presenting himself in a certain way would make you feel comfortable around him, or win your romantic favor -- in reality, they end up coming off as stilted and strange.

If he ends up entering a long-term relationship with you, he’ll likely stop putting up airs, leaving you interacting with someone much more stoic and withdrawn.

Contrary to popular opinion, he is not really hotheaded or quick to violence, and will not let his true emotions overtake his carefully curated mask very often. He is a quick thinker and will remain efficient under pressure. However, should you do something to upset him, he will act quickly and decisively. He loves you deeply, but to him, to truly love someone is to try and bring the best out of that person. He will do so by whatever means necessary.

That isn’t to say that he’s always cold though. He’s happy to dote on you should he think the situation calls for it.

Ivan, however, is no stranger to betrayal. Should you try to leave, exhibit suspicious behaviors, attempt to undermine his authority, or oppose him politically -- there will be dire consequences.

Unlike other yanderes, he has no qualms about hurting you. Ivan witnessed extreme horrors during his childhood, and as such is desensitized to most violence. He will not harm you unprovoked, but should you test him, you will find out how cold and cruel he truly can be.

A more introverted partner may actually suit the life he has planned out for them. Once he finds love he is likely to whisk his partner off to the countryside for a time, rarely to be seen in public.

In the event of an extended business trip, he may take you along, depending on the location. Like countless things before you, people will try and use you against him. Because of this, he would never expose you to an enemy. Should he have a trip domestically, or somewhere he deems low risk he will take you with him. If not, you are expected to sit content in your idyllic countryside home until the two of you can bask in each other’s company again. 

Ivan is not super controlling, but he does have a set of rules that you are meant to abide by.

He also places importance on appearances, so you would be coached on how to conduct yourself in formal situations so that onlookers would have nothing negative to say about the two of you. That is why he may implement dress codes, or designate certain discussion topics as off-limits.

After sequestering you away in the middle of nowhere, if you perform well enough, he may move back to the city. He can use extreme methods, but he is not a complete monster. On a deep subconscious level, he craves normalcy. So seeing you navigate life around other people but still choosing to come back to him “willingly” may help him feel vaguely fulfilled.

He is the type to allow you to pursue most hobbies, and would not stop you from expressing individuality or possessing a sense of self. He does however want to make sure that you constantly view yourself as not just an individual, but as a part of a unit. With everything you do, there needs to be a consideration of how it’ll affect both of you.

In his more subdued moments, he treasures domesticity and would like to occasionally dote on you. He'll be pleased if you occasionally let him cook for you or pick out your outfits.

On the same token, he wants to feel as though you depend on him. Not enough to where you can’t exist without his constant care, but enough to know you are appreciative of all he does for you, and that you are hesitant to leave him. 

If you follow the rules and do not awaken his feelings of intense paranoia, you can live somewhat normally.

[sensei-venus]

Fluffy ideas u ask? What about robby and Reader finding out they're gonna have another baby?

Omg what if it's like that myth where if your first baby is always on their head looking between their legs it means they're looking for their sibling? Have you heard that before? It's super cute, so what I'd their lil girl starts toddling around just to stop and bends over and looks between her legs and someone says something about the myth and it makes Reader take a test and would ya know it she's pregnant with baby keene #2

(Unedited) (Miguel and Robby are friends but Miguel still likes to poke fun, Diaz Triplets, Miguel and Reader are tired parents.)

A play date was always something g Reader looked forward to. When her and Robby’s daughter finally started talking and walking things got active very quickly in their household. The little girl who once could barely fit in both hands was now everywhere. Anything she would do or get her hands on was fair game. Reader hated having to keep her in one spot for too long as the girl was a ball of energy. Secretly she wondered who she had inhabited all the energy from.

So when the Diaz triplets decided to make a appearance at their home for a much needed playdate, she wasn’t oppose at all. She was quick to usher the newly walking baby’s in along with Miguel. Little feet pounded though the entryway before getting to the living room where they cried out in happiness. All of the kids were so happy to get to play with each other.

Miguel and Reader where honestly just happy to get to sit dow with another adult that day. Being a parent was hard. Being around your kids constantly could sometimes get to you. A nice break every now and again was good.

That’s what landed the two to the two adult sitting on the couch slumped. Both of them were tired from the long day of child-rearing.

“So you have her potty trained already? We are still trying to get the triplets done. The girls are doing great but…” he cut himself off while looking at his son. Reader laughed a little saying “Don’t worry to much about it! I heard girls are a lot easier to potty train than boys, plus, dude you have THREE to potty train all at once. I don’t think it was going to be all that easy anyway. Just keep at it and he will catch on at some point.” Miguel ran a hand though his curls and sighed. His eyes rolled a little as he watched the kids play on the floor.

The triplets where only about two months older then the Keene girl. They where only a little bit ahead of her by a little bit. Most of what they where still leading she was too. All of them where walking and talking by now. Well the triplets where, Reader’s daughter was still trying to talk. She was starting to try and form words full but she was getting there. Miguel and she watched as they messed around with some blocks on the floor for a while, laughing and trying to talk to each other the best they could.

Slowly the Keene girl got up onto her feet with the help of the coffee table. She tried to walk a little bit towards one of the twin girls. Her little legs bubbling a bit before making her way over to the other girl who was smiling at her. She started laughing, seconds later she was bending over and looking though her chubby little legs. Her eyes sparkling as she looked at her her mama. Gummy smile with a few new teeth showing through her lips as she started giggling.

“So how long has she been doing that?” Miguel pointed at the little girl. His eyes lazily looking at her. Reader hummed while cocking her head towards her daughter “That? About a week now. I have no idea why she keeps doing it. She won’t do it to Robby, just me.”

“You should probably get checked out then.”

Reader’s head whipped around to stare at him. Her eyes wide with worry “You think it could be something serious? I really don’t think it’s anything serious. Nothing else seems to be going on-“

“I mean you, you should get checked out or get a pregnancy test.” He snickers at her expression. Reader feels herself go red hot in the face. She taps him on the shoulder hissing “Why would you say that?! What does me possibly being pregnant have to do with her being a odd little toddler.” She huffs. He surges at her saying “My mom always tells me that when a toddler does that, it usually means your pregnant again. It’s like this old wives tale that if your toddler lookers though their legs then they are looking for their sibling. If they don’t have one then it’s thought that you're pregnant.” Soon enough the girl stops and goes back to playing with her friends.

Reader watches with a small smile. The idea of being pregnant again had never crossed her mind. Her and Robby never really talked about having another child just yet. Getting pregnant the first time was a complete shock. They didn’t want to make it sound so bad in passing but their daughter was both a miracle and an accident. They had narrowed it down once she was pregnant.

Reader forgot her birth control just once on the same week that a condom they used broke. It felt almost like a one-in-a-million kind of thing. They would be the ones to get pregnant from a small accident. They were both scared out of their minds but after a while everything fell into place. It wasn't as if they didn't want kids, they both did but having their daughter so soon into their marriage was a lot for them both to handle.

Both of them had issues in their childhood which made them more cautious about the idea of children. It took a lot out of both of them to even wrap their heads around having their little girl.

“Robby really trying to put another in you so soon?” he wiggled his brows making Reader grimace.

“Can we please not talk about what me and Robby do in our own bedroom right now.”

“Um okay but if you really do have a chance of having a bun in the oven, you might want to let him know.” he rolls his eyes before relaxing back into the soft cushions.

Reader chewed at her lip as she turned her attention back to the kids. Eyes focused on her little girl again. She was currently hugging one of the Diaz girls while playing a toddler version of tag. Her light green eyes were full of glee as she tapped one of the other toddlers and took off to the other end of the room. Her little feet took her to the other side of the room, the other kids following behind her. She seemed so happy to be playing with the other toddlers.

Readers mind started to wonder.

Was it possible?

Could she really be pregnant again, even after being so careful?

(Might make a second part to finish this.💖)

[carulenes]

an analysis of wolfwood’s characterization in trigun stampede as well as his connection to vash (+ why i believe he’s likely much older than we think)

okay i’ve been thinking abt this since eps 10 or 11 were released (this show became my special interest the second it dropped if i'm being completely honest) but its been scratching at my brain ever since i read the sakuracon radio interview and since i haven’t seen anyone talking abt this yet i figured i may as well because it’s clear they really did pull very extensively from the manga and i really am loving how they adapted his character. also i occasionally keep seeing the “tristamp wolfwood is a kid/is 14-15” takes which i need to at least try to help put to rest bc they make no sense given his other iterations and would actively make the story worse.

a quick tldr of my main points before i get on my very long winded soapbox:

wolfwood in trigun stampede has been used as an undying, unkillable soldier by the eye of michael for decades.

rollo as a character, as opposed to monev the gale, was designed specifically as a metaphor for wolfwood’s backstory.

wolfwood and vash are written to be literal complements to one another.

I literally don’t think I have the space to talk abt all my thoughts, and ofc these are all my personal thoughts so any and all of what i’m saying could be wrong, but direct analysis of eps 4-7 (as I think they’re the most important) and discussion of his trajectory in general under the cut (obvious spoilers for the show but also the manga as well as tw: discussions of suicide/suicidal ideation as well as the general tw list for the show's graphic content):

Starting first with a side point that Wolfwood was never a child at any point he was with Vash during thecourse of the story, including the manga. He has always been a man in his 20s, with trimax ww having the appearance of being in his 30s or 40s. It is absolutely crucial to his and Vash’s characterizations, as well as their entire dynamic together, that Wolfwood is an adult. Could make an entire separate post about this, but I feel like starting here is important.

Onto the sakuracon japan radio interview. The team gave a LOT of interesting insight into the development of the show, but one specific point stood out to me:

This is important, because I definitely missed it during the show’s initial run, but I think it’s REALLY obvious once you know what you’re looking for, and is a big factor in why I think he’s likely older than we realized.

————

EP 4: These are the very first lines that are said about him in the show, and the very first time we see him, he is absolutely exhausted:

We know that at this point, Wolfwood is likely on his way to Jeneora Rock to meet up with Vash to fulfill his contract...until Vash and co. quite literally slam into him (and his life) unexpectedly, nearly killing him with their van. He probably should’ve died except… he’s on his feet almost instantly, able to walk perfectly fine and being a jackass as though he didn’t get launched halfway across the desert by a moving vehicle. Which is… odd, naturally.

When they try to find help and instead find the dead couple, he specifically mentions that he isn't a priest like he's been in other iterations. He's now an undertaker, someone meant to guide others through their deaths:

His personality is hard to tap down. He's goofy and childish and downright unlikeable, and there's a hint of something lurking deeper, something menacing and potentially dangerous. So much so that Roberto is on edge the entire time their group is together after being swallowed by the Grand Worm, and flat out tells Vash that Wolfwood is untrustworthy and likely an assassin, "a man who can kill with a smile on his face". And Vash’s response is… really fucking weird, given how long the two have known each other:

not to mention he's wearing sunglasses Wolfwood is rightfully very ??? in response because, what the fuck is he talking about, and why is he so genuine about it, they just met???

Fast forward to a bit later, when Wolfwood is like "hey man, you really shouldn't be so trusting. I could've shot you in the back several times now." To which Vash is like "but you didn't, though." And Wolfwood is even more confused because is this guy stupid???

And then it's time for the final act: Wolfwood reveals his Punisher, destroying the Grand Worm while giving the illusion of taking out Zazie as well. Meryl was informed by someone that Wolfwood had been the one to save them all, but when she tries to thank him, he immediately shifts the subject, being annoying and arguably completely unlikeable. Roberto points out that Wolfwood had lied about who he was, trying to get Vash to realize that he still can't be trusted, and again Vash shoots it down: "We're alive because of him."

Wolfwood showed his role as the Punisher without hesitation, and not only was Vash not really phased by it, but he actually seemed to be inspired by him, stopping his self-destructive tendencies and even repeating his own words back to him. And that's the moment we finally learn his name in the show:

But then, almost immediately, we have a complete reversal of his scene with Vash in the Worm. It’s also of note that Zazie always specifically says human lives:

————

EP 5: One of the most important episodes in this discussion, and it starts with the name alone, "Child of Blessing". Here’s a very general summary:

A young boy in a much less than ideal living situation is chosen to be 'a blessing upon the world through his sacrifice', which turns out to secretly be mutilative experimentation on children in search of a subject compatible with a mysterious medicine that can heal any injury. The meds warp him, morph him into something that doesn't even appear to be human. He tries to return home, but his mother, the only family he knows and loves, is terrified of him. She calls him a monster, and the boy finds himself struggling to articulate who he is. Then, he wanders alone alone without purpose in that unchanging altered body, a body that can withstand lethal amounts of damage directly because of the meds, for at least 20 years. All he has is a single name: Vash the Stampede, the person who promised to save him, and the one person who managed to bring back his consciousness in the end, if only for a moment.

The moment Nicholas sees Rollo regenerate is the second the switch flips. He instantly demands to know what the fuck is up with him, and when Vash responds telling him that he was too late to give him the medicine he needed, Wolfwood shuts down, because he recognizes himself. From this moment until the rest of the episode, we are no longer seeing Nicholas D. Wolfwood; we're seeing Nicholas the Punisher.

Vash continues to push Rollo to remember who he is, while Nicholas continuously says that there's no way to save him, that he's already a monster now. In the final moments, Nicholas inevitably feels tasked with Rollo's death like the undertaker he is, and when Vash angrily demands to know why he took the shot, his response is:

When discussing Rollo's killer, Elendira refers to Nicholas by name, but Conrad specifically states that no, he is the Punisher.

In vol 10 of the manga, Vash thinks to himself: “I met a strange man. Just as I thought we had come to an understanding, I found that our core beliefs were opposed to each other. I was used to such situations, but I wonder how he felt.”

————

EP 6: This episode builds directly upon the foundations set by the episode prior. Child of Blessing ended with Rollo being referred to repeatedly as a monster, and this episode begins with Nicholas in the middle of completing a kill. Right before he does, his victim gets one final glance at his assailant, an inhuman looking executioner, and calls him a monster… directly because he will not die. He’s also been shown knocking back meds like tequila shots in tristamp, which we all know was NOT possible in the manga. During the flashback scene, Nicholas is literally called the Child of Blessing.

We see a very similar sequence with Nicholas that we saw with Rollo; the horrific torture, the bodily mutilation (during which Conrad specifically mentions that the drug will heal all damage done the body, as well as rebuild and strengthen the cells), and the attempt to return home:

Something different happens with Nicholas, though. Nicholas can't go home; he’s literally yanked away from his chance at freedom by Legato. Nicholas can’t go home, likely ever again in his mind, because Hopeland Orphanage and the Eye of Michael represent two fundamentally different ideals.

Hopeland (and thus Livio) is exactly like its name for Nicholas: it is is land of hope, the only place in the world where Wolfwood was allowed to exist freely. When Nicholas was taken by EoM, Wolfwood began to die.

The entirety of the EoM is shrouded in imagery of death and rebirth, specifically in regards to humanity. Humanity in this case has a dual meaning: humanity as a species, and humanity as a concept. Their philosophy is that the end justifies the means in that humans in this form will be preserved and would likely live exceedingly longer lives but, as repeatedly mentioned, there are side effects.

Aging and death are integral parts of the human experience, the two aspects of life that we ALL experience regardless of circumstance. Can you be human without humanity?

The message behind these two episodes is to show that the process of becoming part of the EoM is a metaphorical crucifixion symbolizing the death of one’s humanity. And Nicholas is interesting, because he’s almost the perfect specimen in their eyes and is treated as such. Almost. The only thing holding him back are the two strands of humanity he has left, both which are nearly destroyed in the very next episode.

————

EP 7: In the previous episode, during the animated flashback of Nicholas and Livio, we see a few scattered scenes of other people living at the orphanage. Interestingly, while almost all of the children are seen with very sparse detail (or even none really at all), there is one person, the caretaker, whose face we get a pretty clear picture of. At the very beginning of this episode, we have the first and only shot of the inside of the orphanage in the usual style. While none of the children are familiar and actually aren’t incredibly distinguishable from one another, there is one figure in the room with recognizable hair, but looks considerably older than in the flashback:

During the majority of their interactions, you don’t see Nicholas and Livio interacting with any of the other children. They are simply a background, a set piece to the story and a representation of just how other they were forced to become.

This episode features them fighting each other, dealing each other what should be mortal wounds, but somehow remain standing, as though they’re perfectly fine. As if on cue, the soldiers stationed call them both monsters and run away in fear.

But Vash doesn’t run from the danger. He runs towards it.

Nicholas tries to stop him, and all he gets in return is “he’s important to you, isn’t he?” as though that’s enough. But it is enough for Vash. And Nicholas doesn’t know what to do with that.

Nicholas comes dangerously close to giving up, to giving into his role as the Punisher and killing the last bit of Wolfwood to do so, but it’s Vash who stops him. He diverts his shot and, instead of hurting Livio, literally frees Nicholas from Legato and Zazie’s trap. Vash tells him to make him remember, and Nicholas thinks it’s bullshit… until he doesn’t.

And when he finally relents, when he tries to emulate what the silly blonde idiot keeps screaming at him about… It works. For a moment, but Livio does wake up for a moment. Nicholas hadn’t been able to see Rollo, but he did see this. And he really doesn’t know what to do about it.

To drive the point home, Livio drives a bullet into his own head and falls to the ground in a scene very reminiscent of Rollo’s death… but is implied to still be alive. With him saved, now it’s time for Hopeland. And this is when the narrative really turns a focus to the balance between Nicholas and Vash.

The group is half convinced that they’re about to die snd that the town will be destroyed when, all of a sudden, it’s Nicholas who’s yelling that they have to do something. Because despite all the noise Nicholas makes about self-sacrifice and calling Vash a weirdo, he’s directly inspired by his energy, which is proven correct when Vash is the first one to side with him.

Then, somehow despite the odds, the two of them manage to work together to stop the ion cannon. Which should have been impossible. And because of this, Nicholas is finally willing to give Vash the chance to take the lead on things.

When Vash and Wolfwood discuss their plan to save Hopeland, and after they argue about which method is the correct one, the conversation they have is probably the clearest depiction of Nicholas’ inner struggle:

Nicholas: Have it your way. Just for today. I do owe you one… but if the orphanage doesn’t survive this, I’ll hurt you so bad you’ll wish you were dead before I kill you.

Vash: Wolfwood…

Nicholas: Shut up! I’m the Punisher! I’m not like you… I’m Nicholas the Punisher…

He murmurs the last line as though he’s trying to convince himself. He uses his persona as the Punisher almost like a mask, like a cat puffing up and hissing to deter predators. It’s a defense mechanism, and a trauma response. Except.. it still doesn’t work, because the entire time Vash is simply not listening. Regardless of what Nicholas says, Vash does not stop fighting Nicholas on the title that was forced on him by the EoM and, in fact, blatantly rejects it. And the moment Nicholas finishes speaking, when he declares himself to be the Punisher, the episode’s title card finally appears: Wolfwood.

It's a direct representation of this panel of Nicholas' inner monologue from the manga:

——

Nicholas and Vash’s roles as each other’s complements is emphasized very deliberately when the two work to stop the sand steamer from smashing into Hopeland. These screenshots occur one directly after the other:

Another detail the team mentioned often during the interview was attention to use of color. In color theory, blue and orange are complementary colors: hues that are opposite each other on the color wheel but, when used together, come together to create harmony and balance. Additionally, Vash is the character typically associated with warm hues, while Nicholas is paired with colder ones; with the colors flipped, it’s almost as if they are literally mirror images of each other.

The two are in the same position, in the middle of similar actions, both drawing strength from that which makes them “other” in order to work together to protect a common goal. And once again, miraculously, they succeed, able to do together what neither could ever have done together.

This mirror motif is even clearer when comparing these respective scenes from each of their respective backstory episodes:

For Nicholas and Vash, on top of sharing such a crucial common thread in their backstories, often in the show they are seen together, either side by side or back to back. Often they’re shown doing the same thing at the same time, almost as though they’re moving as one. And they consistently save each other over and over again, with Nicholas acting to save Vash physically, and Vash working to protect Nicholas’ psyche. Vash refuses to let anyone continue to see themselves as a monster, as lesser than, in much the same way Nicholas refuses to let anyone else be used as one.

They are a pair, a unit working together to create a force that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

They are both “other”, they are both different, and they both seek to protect the things they love and care about despite the excruciating pain it can put them through.

Nicholas and Vash’s entite dynamic is basically “I don’t understand you, but I recognize you. I recognize myself in you. And somehow, that’s enough for me to trust you.”

————

So with all this in mind, here is how I’ve come to understand Nicholas’ arc throughout tristamp:

When we first meet Nicholas D. Wolfwood we meet a weary man longing for death to save him, longing to be free from the purposelessness of his life but knowing the hope is futile. He works for the Eye of Michael as an assassin against his will and has for God knows how long. Not only is he no longer a priest, but he’s no longer religious at all, having no belief in God at all and a particular disdain for the false promises and hopes of salvation that are portrayed by it. He doesn’t care about the clothes he wears, whether he looks messy, whether it’s suited for the desert, because he literally doesn’t care about anything, really. He has no home, and can never go back to the orphanage— there’s likely no one left there that he knows anyway, and even of there were, they wouldn’t recognize the monster he’s become. Nicholas is tired, he’s angry, he’s potentially depressed. He fights impractically, sometimes leaving himself open to attacks he could probably block with his Punisher, but he just doesn’t care. He’s just here to do his job, which is to escort his piece of shit CEO’s assumedly equally piece of shit brother to him so they can destroy the world together and he can hopefully die off in peace.

Until he actually meets Vash, and he’s… really fucking weird. He’s dumb and naive and acts like he knows Nicholas on some deep level after they’ve just met, but… he’s not a bad guy. Just another crybaby who doesn’t understand the world. He can see the Punisher and not be frightened by it. That means something, means enough that he feels that he can introduce himself now. He still doesn’t know how to handle kindness, so he deflects whenever it’s shown to him, making irreverent jokes and being annoying in order push people away. But then he meets Rollo and has a flashback to himself. He learns that Vash is no stranger to false promises, has sold the same thing to the kid who ended up just like him, and yeah, Vash is no better than the EoM. He talks a big game but doesn’t actually know anything. Nicholas kills Rollo out of mercy because it’s what he wishes could be done to him; every day of living his life is torture.

But then his hometown and childhood best friend are suddenly in danger. He’d completely forgotten what it felt like to have something to lose, to protect. And without planning for it, Vash also becomes something to protect, because even if he doesn’t act like it, Nicholas desperately wants to believe in him. He doesn’t want the EoM to be right. But the feeling of having something to protect is terrifying, because it means you have something to lose. Nicholas gets incredibly stressed out by this, because it’s been so long that he doesn’t even remember what it feels like. But it’s enough to get him, for likely the first time in a very long time, to hope. And it’s Vash who helps him so that he’s able to hang on to that hope for a little while longer.

He still can’t get too excited, because he hasn’t actually finished his job yet. Before he does, though, he sees Vash’s scars (which was a deliberate choice, as in both the manga AND the og anime this scene went to the girls) and wow, if it weren’t for the regenerative properties of the drug, he would likely look the same. He drops Vash off with Knives and knows that Vash will likely be killed, but he’s also expecting to die himself in the fallout, so it doesn’t matter, really. Except for some reason, it does a bit. And then, yet again, Vash miraculously doesn’t die, and in fact changes the game and actually looks like he might stand a chance against Knives, and is clearly willing to die to do it.

And then July is destroyed. But, miraculously, Nicholas isn’t dead. He still finished the contract, but now… now what?

The show began with Nicholas at his lowest, and ends with Vash at his lowest point. And Nicholas owes him one.

————

INCREDIBLY long story short, it really is clear that they weren’t kidding, the team really drew SO MUCH inspiration from the themes trimax it’s unbelievable and I really really think we’re in for something incredible during the second phase. I also think it’s gonna hurt like a bitch.

[the-old-mayhem]

damn..there are so many conflicts around you..why do people want to drag you into drama so much?

Is there a new drama I am not aware of or are we talking about what happened few days ago?

My haters think the opposite, but I AM self aware. I know it's partly "my fault". I do tend to attract drama. And it's for a simple reason that I am at times incredibly stubborn but loudmouthed and I tend to have very strong opinions, sense of justice and am not shying away from conflict to defend what I believe in, whether it's wrong or right.

That's why there's always something dramatic happening around me, as opposed to someone who is timid and doesn't like to argue.

Also, certain type of mentally ill people are attracted to me because I allow it (basically, childhood wounds). That's my fault, and I am trying to change it.

Edit: would like to add that I am not planning on changing myself. I tried so very hard to be different, but it made me miserable. My whole 20s were spent on pretending that I am something I am not. Enter my 30s and I just stopped giving a fuck. I am not a bad person (not claiming I am good person), and I possess a lot of kindness and empathy, contrary to how I might appear on the web. I am perhaps hard to love because I have difficult personality but I am not causing harm with my personality. So take it or leave it

[nocturnalazure]

Character Focus: Romeo (Part II)

Romeo's prison got an upgrade!

He starts giving out free information to Laurie, telling him that someone else wanted his family dead. That his father and himself were only tools. But Gilles de Rais messed up his memories of that meeting, and he doesn't remember his face.

He's not trying to save himself. This time, he's just trying to help bring his father down. He's still convinced he's going to be killed.

He is surprised at the way he's being treated. Sure, he's a prisoner and he's forced to cooperate, but he expected to be manhandled or even tortured. All things his father would have done.

Whatever the outcome, he goes along with Laurie's plan, even adding a bit of realism by hitting him so that he appears hurt - which was NOT part of the plan and something Erik would have definitively opposed. Romeo knows his father loves being in a position of power, and will be less suspicious if Laurie seems weakened. It works.

Knowing the price his father will pay and with Zeke on his side, Romeo betrays his abusive parent.

But Luca has one last trump card...

The notion of free choice is central to Romeo's character development. He doesn't realize at the time, but this is the first time Laurie gives him a chance to decide by himself.

Zeke thankfully adds that Georgia is very much a prisoner herself, like Romeo's mother. When Luca scoffs and says that his wife is crazy anyway, that seals his fate to Romeo's eyes.

He doesn't get out of this without a punch from Erik for hitting Laurie earlier!

Somehow Romeo feels like it's a cheap price to pay to be rid of his father.

This is a turning point in Romeo's life: he has to attend his father's execution in front of the syndicate.

Al-Saud takes pity on his situation and walks away with him. Luca's last words are bitter and vindictive, meant to make sure his son feels guilty for the rest of his life.

Is it a liberation when he hears the shot?

Laurie gives him his first real choice: take over his father's business or get exiled.

And he's offered time to think about it, but Laurie wants him to pay his blood debt and work for him for a while under Erik's supervision. He temporarily goes back to Monte Vista to sort out his business and gets the chance to have a real talk with Georgia. This is the first time they are honest with each other. Their decision to divorce is mutual and obvious.

Romeo is aware that Georgia would never come with him if he's exiled. If he wants to be a father to his future child (and take care of his mother), he'd have to agree to take over. Georgia, now a lot more relaxed with him now that she knows she is free as well, advises him not to do anything out of duty anymore. After all, she knows better than anyone that making decisions for himself is particularly hard for him.

So he goes to listen to Laurie's speech to his capos. Listening to him talking about strategic partnerships and law enforcement on the black market, he's inspired to think that maybe, a change from the inside is possible after all.

Who knows what he had decided before hearing that speech? Did he change his mind?

With Omar and Erik, this is the beginning of an unlikely quatuor.

Sure, he gets crushed by Erik on the ring on a regular basis.

But he works alongside Laurie and is impressed by his brainpower.

He feels like he's making a real contribution for once.

For the first time in his life, Romeo has fun. Which is what he tells Zeke when he comes back to Monte Vista for the birth of his son.

On to Part III!

[fckedupnerd]

Random Willy Wonka x Felix Fickelgruber headcanons

Under a cut because this post is LONG…

(Saying in advance that a few of these are heavily inspired by this fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/53223310/chapters/134678989 which I definitely consider to be the ‘gold standard’ for Felix/Willy fics, it’s amazing, definitely recommend reading it!!)

Felix loves taking Willy shopping and repurposes an entire guest bedroom (not just the closet but the whole room) into a massive outfit-display-suite for all of the new clothing he buys Willy

Felix has separate closets for his own clothing by occasion/type (like one whole closet for suits, another for ‘casual wear’ although knowing Felix it’s still not what most would consider casual, one for pajamas/robes, one whole closet for shoes, etc…). Willy finds this fascinating, as he’s never seen such excess before.

Willy stumbled one day onto a closet in Felix’s home filled with lingerie, heels, and even a few pretty slip-style cocktail dresses all in Felix’s signature green color. He mistakenly thinks Felix must have a wife or girlfriend that they belong to, and was upset by it. Felix then had to admit that they’re his, and that he occasionally enjoys wearing things that make him feel ‘delicate and pretty’. It’s a once-in-a-while think I headcanon Felix doing, just when he needs to feel particularly desirable or small, I think. In this particular headcanon/scenario, I imagine that Willy has never seen a man in lingerie before, and has never thought about it for himself, but he finds it curiously arousing and would at the very least like to experiment with seeing Felix in his lingerie, at least. I sort of imagine that Felix persuades Willy to try some on eventually also and that he loves it. They both have fantastic legs, so obviously I think they both end up enjoying wearing heels in the bedroom sometimes also.

I know others have definitely said this already but I share the headcanon that Felix definitely used his appearance/flirting to advance his career, especially when he was younger and starting out. Felix is fully aware that his physical desirability is an asset and he did perhaps ‘sleep his way to the top’ a bit.

I think Felix wants to protect Willy because Willy is so innocent, and Felix doesn’t want to see him get taken advantage of… whereas Felix willingly and knowingly used his sexuality to get where he wanted to be in life, I think Felix fears that Willy might not realize people’s intentions/desires all of the time, and Felix wouldn’t want Willy to end up in a situation he didn’t fully and knowingly want to be in so he’s protective of him in that way.

I think Felix feels like he could be a good, longer-term mutually beneficial (more like a regular/committed sugardaddy like in Otaku_girl’s fic linked above) partner for Willy, because Willy does need some strategic help to advance himself in the world, financially and otherwise, which Felix could provide.

I kind of headcanon that Felix may have had some less-than-positive experiences when he was ‘trying to get ahead’ with either some doms who were too rough/inappropriate, or just undesirable/unattractive to him, but he ‘did what he felt he needed to’. I think Felix *hopes* that he can save Willy from this by being very clear about consent, genuinely caring for Willy’s needs (not just financial but personally too), and he works very hard to be physically attractive as well as meticulously clean, so he hopes that he is the sort of person Willy finds genuinely appealing as opposed to someone Willy ‘tolerates’ (like Felix used to with some of his his doms/SD’s).

Willy is grateful for Felix’s financial support, he values the emotional and personal caretaking Felix provides for him too.

Also, Willy finds Felix far more attractive than Felix realizes… like, Willy absolutely would have been attracted to Felix even without his money, but Felix definitely has self esteem and self image issues that prevent him from believing that someone as young and beautiful as Willy would genuinely be into him without his fortune being at least some part of it.

I mean I think everyone knows I headcanon Eating Disorder Felix. I don’t think my actual headcanon for the character is quite as severe as I write it in my AO3 series… that’s definitely largely projection/therapy for me lol… but, my actual headcanon for the character is that he had a more severe eating disorder when he was younger, probably especially when he was trying to build his business and felt that being excessively thin would appeal/be attractive to older wealthy men who could help him. He is at a more stable place by the time we see him in the Wonka-film era, but I headcanon that he still has what he would call ‘issues with food’ where he knows he needs to keep himself healthy, but still struggles mentally and definitely has body image issues and struggles with being very judgemental about his own appearance and eating habits, as well as being judgemental of others.

I think he uses alcohol as a coping mechanism to make eating easier… again I am probably projecting here, but we do see him drinking (the other cartel members are not shown doing so), and early in my eating disorder recovery, I used to intentionally have a drink with meals because it would relax me enough to force myself to eat. I definitely think Felix at least drinks at the cartel meetings because he knows there will be food/chocolate around and he doesn’t want the others catching on that it makes him uncomfortable to have ‘unscheduled food’, so that keeps his mind off it enough that (he thinks) Arthur and Gerald don’t know about his past/lingering eating issues.

I also agree with Otaku_girl’s idea that Willy is probably too thin but because he forgets to eat and hasn’t had anyone to remind him/make him eat. I think Felix probably assumes it’s an ED, because people (like myself lol) so tend to project, and Felix really worries about how little Willy eats.

I think Felix eventually realizes that Willy doesn’t seem to have the body image problems that most people with ED’s do, so he figures out that it is more of a easily-distracted or not having access to food problem for Willy instead. But I think he still wants to fix it.

I think, just from my knowledge of how ED’s work, Felix like 95% wants to help Willy eat more and be healthier because he is genuinely worried for him and does honestly care. But I also headcanon that because of the lingering little bits of ED-brain in Felix there’s like 5% of him that is super triggered by Willy not eating/being too thin and so he also a little bit wants to fix it for his own benefit because it makes him struggle more to see that too.

I think Willy has suspicions about Felix’s attitudes and habits toward food/body image, and I think he cares/is concerned about him too… but I feel like every time Willy tries to bring it up, Felix deflects or changes the subject or insists that he’s fine because Felix is actually really ashamed of that part of his past and worried that Willy would judge him for it. Part of Felix knows it isn’t his fault that he was sick, but Felix worries that because Willy is too poor to have good food, and doesn’t even think about food or remember to eat most of the time, that he’ll think less of Felix if he knew that Felix actively tries to avoid food when he can. Like it’ll make Felix seem ungrateful or something. But of course it’s just Felix’s anxiety making him think that, because in reality Willy cares about Felix and would never be judgmental about something like that.

Okay, moving on from that topic for now… I think Felix is a HUGE SWITCH. He is both a top and a bottom and loves both, it just depends on his partner’s preferences, and what kind of mood he’s in at any given time.

My headcanon for Felix is that he’s basically just a sexual hedonist. His thing sexual philosophy is just… if it feels good, do it. I feel like he’s very adventurous and very open minded and has probably tried just about everything at least once.

I headcanon that Willy has only ever been a bottom in his (limited) sexual experiences so far

In fact I may even headcanon virgin Willy? Like, I think movie Willy gives major virgin vibes, I cannot imagine that he did anything other than make chocolate in his free time on the boat or anything. But my fic-writing, headcanon-based Willy might not be a virgin because I kinda don’t want him to be… so maybe he’s had a few experiences but definitely always as the bottom.

That being said, I have a headcanon (maybe it’s just a fic idea and not a headcanon but whatever) that Felix knows Willy is comfortable bottoming so that’s what they do but Willy learns that Felix also enjoys bottoming (maybe he just figured it out or maybe one of the other cartel members say something about it or something idk I haven’t worked that out yet), and so even though Felix would be perfectly happy to just do what Willy is comfortable with and be the top because that’s easiest, Willy all on his own decides he wants to surprise Felix by taking control one night and topping for the first time while Felix bottoms.

In my head, Willy is not exactly great at it and needs some guidance from Felix, so it’s not super hot the first time they try it, but Felix appreciates the effort and just finds it really endearing that Willy cared enough about him to switch it up

Also, I think that even though he’s understandably not the best at it his first time, Willy finds that he actually LOVES topping (don’t get me wrong he still loves bottoming too) but because he’s so innocent and sweet and polite and timid usually, he never gets to feel like he’s really ‘taking charge’… something about having control over someone really powerful and successful like Felix excited Willy in a way he hasn’t experienced before and I think he finds it really hot and definitely wants to do it again (and with more confidence each time)

Random weird little headcanon, Felix has custom made bath products (soaps, shampoos, etc) that are light green in color and have a very unique scent. Because of the green theme, Willy at first thought the scent could be like, pine or something, but he also knew that wasn’t quite right and it really bothers him that he can’t quite work it out, so one day he sheepishly asks Felix what exactly the scent is and Felix replies that it’s ‘money’. And Willy admits that he’s never actually held, let alone smelled, paper money so that’s why he didn’t recognize it. Felix then hands him some paper money, which Willy assumes he’s supposed to smell so after sniffing it he attempts to give it back to Felix who is very amused by it but says he meant for Willy to keep it.

The most random headcanon yet but I think Felix wears glasses at home. Maybe just readers, or maybe he actually needs them all the time but just wears contacts outside of the house. Genuinely don’t know where I’m getting that from except that I personally have a little bit of a kink for guys that wear glasses so I’m headcanoning it because I just want to. Also, I think it helps with the sugardaddy kind of image in my head and Willy would think they made him look distinguished and smart. Willy would tell him he should wear them in public, but Felix never would because he doesn’t think they fit his ‘image’.

Super random headcanon for Willy, I think he collects things, like he just has little trinkets from all of the places he went on his travels. I think he’s very big on sentimental value, and he likes keeping small memories of specific people or places. Like even when he says he got his trousers off a mailman in Minsk… presumably he knew that mailman pretty well, I sort of headcanon that neither of them obviously had much money, and maybe they’d really become good friends so they couldn’t afford to buy each other anything but they were similar sizes so they decided to trade some clothes as a way of ‘giving’ each other something to remember them by. I feel like Willy maybe did this a lot like just traded little trinkets and things with people he met, and that they all really mean something to him. I feel like when Felix buys Willy an entirely new wardrobe he doesn’t understand at first why Willy still wants to keep his old clothes even if he isn’t wearing them anymore, and maybe Felix worries that Willy wants to keep them as some sort of ‘contingency plan’ in case he wants to leave Felix. But then Willy explains that it’s because they have sentimental value, and even though Felix doesn’t think ‘sentimental value’ holds any real value at all, he is relieved that Willy isn’t planning to heave him, and he can see that it’s important to Willy, so he allows Willy to put them in a trunk in one of his storage closets for safe-keeping.

[francesderwent]

speaking as someone who hated Steve in season one, shipped Jonathan and Nancy in season one and two, and now full-heartedly ships Steve and Nancy, I always hated how Nancy and Jonathan get together in season two. I (obviously) hate the Murray of it all, because no story which viewers have been led to care about deserves to have its decisive climactic moment hijacked by a balding conspiracy theorist who (wrongly) considers himself an expert in human behavior. but even setting aside Murray (as much as it's possible to do so when he's inextricable to how everything plays out), I thought the scene did such a disservice to the Jonathan/Nancy relationship as it was set up. even once I didn't ship them anymore, that scene just seemed like bad, out-of-character writing. but I think I found a way to fit the scene into the larger story.

Jonathan Byers & Restraint

this isn't groundbreaking (I'm probably subconsciously stealing from a thousand Maria metas), but what made Jonathan and Nancy stand out in season one is romantic restraint. while Steve is climbing in Nancy's bedroom window and trying to unbutton her shirt and sleeping with her all by the end of the second episode, Jonathan and Nancy talk to one another, awkwardly, stiltedly. if I remember right, they don't touch, at all. Nancy is trying to connect with him, and Jonathan isn't opposed, but they're both very cautious, and the connection is difficult and uncomfortable. Jonathan's bizarre choice to take her photo while she's half naked and he's hiding in the woods is symptomatic of how he feels about her at this point: he sees her only at a distance, and sees that she's beautiful at the same time as he sees that she's not for him. in the photograph, he tries to capture what little of her he can have for himself. this stupid, grasping choice ends up hurting both of them.

so as we start episode three and really start to move into the center of the story, both Steve and Jonathan have crossed a boundary. Nancy and Steve aren't able to admit (yet) that what they did poses a problem. they're still close, but their closeness is actually an obstacle to their communication. Steve can't see what's going on with Nancy because he's caught up in his starry-eyed triumph that he doesn't have to pretend not to care anymore because he finally won her and she's finally his! and Nancy can't connect with Steve because in order to be honest with him she would have to admit that he hurt her, and she doesn't want him to know that. their closeness is a lie which prevents any other truth from being told, and as season one moves forward, the lie becomes more and more obviously a lie. Nancy lashes out at Steve for worrying about his father when Barb is missing. she kisses him when he comes to check on her, but lies about the baseball bat and what her plan is. Steve's supposed love for her can't survive seeing her with Jonathan, and he stands by while his friends ruin her reputation. he doesn't trust her enough to believe her when she tells him nothing happened. I'm just hammering the same point here, but they are literally too close to see clearly.

against this backdrop, Nancy's relationship with Jonathan appears starkly different. the revelation of Jonathan's transgression pushes him and Nancy further apart, forces them to take a hard look at themselves and a clearer look at each other. they see all the differences between them. they see the way the other person doesn't perfectly understand them. and they see all that because they can see clearly that Jonathan's crossing of that boundary was wrong. but because they share similar goals and want to work together, they have to stay conscious of all those boundaries, they have to be even more careful and respectful of them moving forward. if the defining moment of Steve and Nancy's relationship is falling into bed together without ever discussing what it means (and I think, for better or worse, it is), the defining moment of Jonathan and Nancy's relationship is him lying on the other side of the bed from her without crossing the line. and he is able to be a comfort to her because he doesn't cross that line! after the photograph almost ruins everything, the restraint is present in every interaction between them: the way Nancy holds ice on his face at the police station, the way she bandages his hand, the way he accepts her Christmas gift. I was really struck, this rewatch, by the image of them setting the bear trap together: they're moving in sync with each other, backing away slowly, carefully, because they know to move quickly or carelessly could be disastrous. that's their relationship in a nutshell. and that's what made their relationship so compelling.

now, both of these dynamics are still visible in the beginning of season two: Steve and Nancy are officially a couple, but they’re understanding one another less than ever: he doesn't understand why she feels they have to continue having dinner with Barb's parents, she doesn't understand how he could want to go to a Halloween party; she tells him everything about their carefully reconstructed lives is bullshit, he is absolutely shell-shocked because he thought it was real. Jonathan and Nancy are walking a thin tightrope: Jonathan takes her home from the party, puts her to bed and takes off her shoes, he tries to assure her that Steve still cares about her, they both quickly request separate beds at the hotel. but once Murray interferes, they fall off the tightrope and they fall off hard.

when the restraint breaks, all their careful intentional distance overwhelmed by exploding desire and tension, it's not just a kiss. it's a kiss that immediately becomes sex. they haven't said a word to each other about what this means or what they feel for each other. they've both been drinking. Nancy hasn't broken up with Steve. it's a betrayal of everything their relationship has been up until this point, and it's a letdown, because it doesn't feel like the Jonathan and Nancy we've been watching and rooting for for two seasons. it feels like the end to a different story, not this one.

and unlike the photograph which crossed a boundary and then had to be dealt with, for the rest of season two at least, there are no consequences. Nancy and Jonathan are just...together, after this. Steve gracefully bows out; he doesn't accuse Nancy, he doesn't even make her tell him what she did, he takes all the blame on himself. this makes Steve look really good, really mature and unselfish, but it's dishonest in a way that season one wasn't dishonest. season one was brutally honest about the fallout of Steve and Nancy having sex, and it was beautifully honest about what Jonathan and Nancy had to do to build a relationship on a different foundation. now Jonathan and Nancy kick off their romantic relationship on that exact same foundation as she and Steve did in season one episode two - we've had some sexual tension, we had sex, now we're a couple - and this time, for no reason, everything's fine.

if you assume that Jonathan and Nancy are endgame, it's a ridiculous squandering of one of the best-drawn relationships in the story. all their narrative potential is lost, wasted. in season three, Jonathan and Nancy bicker annoyingly and to little purpose; the majority of their arc is already behind them and the writers appear to be at loose ends, creating thin conflict for no reason.

where it starts to get really interesting is when you stop assuming that Jonathan and Nancy are endgame.

Nancy Wheeler & Illusions

so far I've been prioritizing Jonathan’s perspective: his making amends for the photograph and learning how to care about Nancy respectfully. it's through this lens that the sex scene in season two is out of place. but if you focus in on Nancy, the defining factor in the love triangle for the first two seasons isn't restraint. it's reality.

I've written about this before, but Nancy's arc in season one is about the shattering of all her illusions. she already had her doubts about her parents' marriage, but she was still playing the game, still trying to get good grades, still trying to seem like a good girl in front of her parents, still trying to seem cool in front of Steve and his popular friends. and one of the illusions that shatters most painfully for Nancy is her romantic illusions around sex. she bought into the lie that if she would just sleep with the cute guy she has a crush on, she would feel close to him and he'd love her. after episode two, she learns intimately that this isn't true. Steve tells her she’s beautiful, he doesn’t tell her he loves her. he falls asleep and she has to get dressed and walk home on her own, with no words of reassurance. she stands on the stair in Steve's sweatshirt and tells her mother coldly that Steve isn't her boyfriend and nothing happened, because at that point Steve isn't her boyfriend and she has to go to school the next day and act like nothing happened. he walks up to her locker and kisses her, but tells her only, “I had a good time.” we can see this tearing her apart before she ever starts to suspect anything has happened to Barb.

and so she starts to see through the falseness and thinness of what she used to think was important - because of Barb's death, because she discovers the upside down, and because of Jonathan. she tells him the story of her parents and their loveless decision to buy a house and start their nuclear family, and Jonathan answers, “screw that.” Jonathan is the one who gives her permission to reject everything she put her faith in. at last, someone is admitting out loud that trying to fit herself into these boxes is hurting her! at last, someone isn’t afraid to exist outside of the norms that are destroying her. it’s a relief, not having to pretend anymore.  

fast-forward to season two: Murray (ugh) says that Nancy doesn’t love Steve, that she’s afraid of who she really is, that she has chemistry, history, and shared trauma with Jonathan, and that therefore they should cut the bullshit and share the bed. notice: he doesn’t say Nancy loves Jonathan and should be with him. they’re just young and attractive and they have chemistry, so they should sleep together. there’s no pretty façade over it. and this is what Nancy has in common with Jonathan, that they don’t buy into the bullshit. and so here’s my hypothesis: Nancy walks out of her bedroom to find Jonathan because she can sleep with him without any illusions. maybe this time sex can mean whatever she wants it to. maybe this time she won’t have to twist herself into knots pretending like it brought the closeness she thought it would.

the reason this scene doesn’t feel like a satisfactory end to a romance arc is it isn’t the end to a romance arc. it’s the natural continuation of Nancy’s arc in season one, admitting, once and for all, that the pretty illusion doesn’t satisfy, that she doesn’t fit into that picture and she’s never going to. what she mutters to herself alone in her room, right before she goes to find Jonathan, is “I’m not afraid.” she doesn’t choose Jonathan because they love each other and they’re going to be together forever—because they don’t say they love each other, and they don’t talk about their future. she chooses Jonathan because he’s on the outside, just like she is, and she’s not afraid anymore to admit that she’s just like him.

through this lens, their fighting in season three isn’t the contrived conflict of a couple who got together too early and have to find something to do in the sequel. their fighting is exactly the same as Nancy and Steve’s fighting in season two. they’re too close to see each other clearly, and they can’t admit it. she wakes up in his bed, how can he not understand her? he lets her see him for who he is, how can she not recognize his pain? their lack of restraint does hurt them, just like it hurt Nancy and Steve, and knowing that the romantic magic of sex is an illusion doesn’t exempt them from that hurt. it doesn’t bring them into perfect closeness and unity, but it does bring them close enough to feel all their inequalities and disagreements without the objectivity of distance. their priorities are different; their plans don’t align. how could it be any other way, when they never talk about those things? at the end of the season, Jonathan moves to California, and when Nancy tells him she wants him to stay, he says only that everything will be okay because they have shared trauma—he doesn’t say that he’ll come back, he doesn’t say that she should join him, he doesn’t even make plans for Thanksgiving like Mike and El do. they have a bond that makes him moving away painful—but they can’t figure out what to do about it.

so Nancy and Jonathan sleeping together isn’t the end of their romantic storyline. it’s just a stepping stone in Nancy’s journey with disillusionment. Nancy tried using sex to get her happy ending with Steve, and it didn’t work. then she stopped believing in happy endings and clung to Jonathan who also didn’t believe in them, and that didn’t preserve her from disappointment either. what is all of this leading us toward?

Steve Harrington & the Love Confession

ahem.

Steve starts out as the epitome of everything that Jonathan and Nancy are growing beyond: popular, shallow, charming Steve Harrington who takes sweet Nancy Wheeler to bed. but in every season Steve proves himself again and again to be someone to rely upon—he comes back to fight the demogorgon after Nancy tells him to leave, he protects the kids from demodogs and evil brothers, he swoops in for the big rescue when Nancy’s about to die. and again and again, he receives no reward at all. he doesn’t get the girl (Nancy). he doesn’t get a different girl (Robin). he doesn’t even get an apology Christmas gift or to be Nancy’s friend, like Jonathan did. the only thing he walks away with, every time, is growth. he is a bigger person than when he set out, he’s more of a man.

in season two, he lets Nancy go with his insanely generous “it’s okay, Nance,” and submits to loving her without possessing her, watching her from his car outside the dance and then driving away. in other words, he learns restraint. in season three, he stops caring so much about his image: “Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be prom king. that’s stupid, Dustin’s right, it’s all bullshit.” he sees through the illusion and rejects what isn’t important. (and we know he’s learned restraint, how to love without grasping, because of the way he handles Robin’s rejection.) he’s a little slow—learning the lessons that Jonathan and Nancy do a season late and usually when no one is watching. but when he and Nancy are finally thrown together again, he’s different. he’s grown, and his love for her has grown, too. we know that, because when he jumps into the upside down and Nancy follows, and Eddie steps into Murray’s shoes and helpfully points out that something is afoot, Steve doesn’t react like Nancy and Jonathan did.

remember what Murray told Nancy and Jonathan: you have chemistry, history, and shared trauma, you should stop pretending and share the bed. what does Eddie tell Steve? that Nancy reacted to him being in danger by immediately, without a second thought, placing herself in danger next to him, to save him, and that it was “as unambiguous a sign of true love” as his cynical eyes had ever seen. already, there’s a huge difference. Eddie isn’t commenting on their sexual tension (of which there is plenty, Eddie had to stand and watch as Nancy ripped up her clothes to make bandages to tie around Steve’s midriff while they make eye contact). Eddie says he doesn’t know anything about their history. what he does know is what he just saw Nancy do. it’s not a connection, chemical or emotional. it’s love, love understood as an action, a choice. and he tells Steve: “if I were you, I would get her back.”

and Steve doesn’t wait until the first opportune moment to pull Nancy into his arms and give into his desires that he’s been so carefully holding in check for years. no, Steve does something very different. Steve tells Nancy exactly what he pictures his future as, and tells her that he wants her to be in it, that actually she is the most important part of his life. Steve makes a confession of love. and it stands out because when you think about it, there are actually very few love confessions in the show! no other couple says so clearly: “this is what you mean to me, this is what I feel for you, and this is what I want our life together to be.” Steve and Nancy and Jonathan and Nancy both sleep together and then slide into a relationship via the path of least resistance. Joyce and Hopper talk about a date, but don’t say “love” or talk about what this would mean for their families. Mike blurts to Max that he loves Eleven and Eleven happens to overhear it. Steve gives a wonderful confession to Robin about what he likes about her, but really doesn’t know her well enough to propose any kind of future. actually, the only character who comes close to Steve’s season four speech is Bob Newby, who tells Joyce that he loves her, loves her whole family that comes with her, and that he wants them to move to Maine together and be a normal family. but even Bob’s love confession is qualified by his not really knowing what’s going on with Joyce and her family, being kept slightly in the dark.

Steve is not in the dark when he confesses his love to Nancy—or rather, he’s in the midst of the darkest dark, standing in the depths of everything that terrifies Nancy and everything that made her stop believing in love, and he tells her anyway, because he knows all of that and he loves her anyway. they’re not too close to see each other clearly; he’s offering his love and his hopes to her so that she can look at them objectively and make her choice. and what he offers breaks open all the illusions that hurt her so badly. unlike the first time they got together, he’s all-in, telling her how he feels without asking anything of her physical first. unlike with her and Jonathan, he knows what he wants his future to be and is telling it to her clearly. unlike her parents, he’s offering her not security and normalcy, but a relationship motivated first and foremost by love.

the story isn’t just circling back to Steve because the will-they won’t-they with Jonathan has been played out. the story is circling back to Steve because he’s the only one who has all the pieces of the puzzle. he has the romantic restraint that Jonathan abandoned when Murray repackaged it as trust issues. he has the clear sight to see through the false images Nancy rejected. and when you put those things together—and put them together in a man who has been in love with the same woman for years—you get a love which wants to prioritize the good of the other, and is in touch with reality enough to protect the other effectively. and that’s where you get the love confession: it’s a way of stripping away all of the assumptions and illusions so all that’s left is the truth, but without using the truth to impose. Steve can offer Nancy absolutely everything, without crossing a line, without making it impossible for her to see what she wants. he can offer her everything—and if she says yes, he can give it to her.