#they are both Deeply Dysfunctional and just happen to be so in a way that works for the other one i swear

[ilgaksu]

HeiHua headcanons or snippets - who asks for physical affection by using their words and who does things that are not word-use to get the physical affection they need but won’t admit to from the other?

I have been percolating over this one. I love this question. Because, listen, I think the obvious fact is Xiao Hua never uses his words to get affection, ever. He hovers or straight up sits next to/on/etc Hei Xiazi to get it, but he would literally rather die than ask to be touched outside of sex.

HOWEVER, while I am of the opinion that, yeah, sure, Hei Xiazi is far better at using words in comparison. This, however, doesn't mean he's good at it, or even likes doing it that much, and I suspect if he was with anyone else who was better at using their words, he would suddenly become terrible. In my version of him, he is a man born in 1890 - who came of age and then predominantly dated during an era where gender roles gave him a performance to fulfill, and that took away some of the embarrassment - but is still very much a 20th century boy. He's got the equivalent of when you have anxiety but your friend has it worse so you can ask for ketchup for them at the restaurant. There's a reason, imo, he's just Going For It and waiting to be told no in their dynamic, and that's even before I position myself as a proponent of Heihua flirting along the lines of Baby, It's Cold Outside as a thing anyway.

(Honestly, this is once again a tale of a man who ended up with a beloved and highly neurotic trophy show-cat for a partner, and is just rolling with the punches.)

[nekropsii]

ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:

This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.

Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.

MEULIN LEIJON

People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.

ARANEA SERKET

People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.

DAMARA MEGIDO

People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.

MEENAH PEIXES

She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.

Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.

LATULA PYROPE

Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.

KURLOZ MAKARA

His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real. He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.

HORUSS ZAHHAK

I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...

PORRIM MARYAM

No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.

Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.

RUFIOH NITRAM

This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long. But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency. Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.

MITUNA CAPTOR

Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.

KANKRI VANTAS

To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.

When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.

CRONUS AMPORA

I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.

[izzystizzys]

“ - but have you ever considered, I don’t know, not sucking all the time? Just a thought.”

It takes the combined grips of Nuisance and Hound to keep the wriggling, snarling body beneath Fox from throwing him off its back. With three years’ practice of having to fix his own rickety desk chair over and over again, the movement merely ruffles the proverbial fringe on his helmet.

“And I don’t mean that as an insult, necessarily. Well, I do a little bit. But also I have some amount of empathy for the no doubt immense amounts of trauma that had to go into the creation of something so dysfunctional as you, on a very personal level, so have you considered going to the root of that in a way that’s like… useful? Instead of wasting it all on kriffing Kenobi, I mean. Look at the guy. All he does all day is drink tea and commit warcrimes. I bet he knits for fun. Bit of an embarrassing nemesis, don’t you think?”

“I”, says Kenobi, then pauses. The space between his eyebrows is creased with uncertainty, and he looks deeply torn between continuing rocking the shaking Duchess of Mandalore against his chest from his corner of the throne room and re-activating his lightsaber to continue losing his fight against the Darksider Fox is currently sitting on. “I feel like I should object to some part of that, but I’m not entirely clear on what. Or how this happened, again. Isn’t Mandalore a few star systems from your purview, Commander?”

“Probably the warcrimes”, mutters Nuisance underneath his strained breath.

“About as far from my supposed assignment as yours, General”, says Fox a little louder.

Kenobi twitches. Fox cannot claim to know which of them does it. Both, maybe. Probably.

“I will - taste - your - flesh!”, heaves out Darth Maul, snarling and hissing.

“Oooh, kinky!”, calls Grids, from the corner where she’s got her stun-setting aimed at the other Zabrak, currently passed out cold. Fox sighs deeply. He knew he shouldn’t have taken those three - any combination of Grids, Hound and Nuisance in a room together usually spelled chaos.

Unfortunately, it also spelled competence. The Basic alphabet can be funny that way.

The point being: as of some months into the war, one of Fox’s assigned tasks is the surveillance of all GAR-wide communication. All command-class staff theoretically got that memo, but no one seems to have read the fine print where that includes both professional and personal communication, as well as any and all comm devices registered or suspected to be registered to that person. Especially not one Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala.

The point further being, if that sounds both immensely impractical and sort of terrifying in a democratic supposedly non-surveillance state, you’d be bang on the credits, and to Fox’ eternal chagrin the singular person in this whole useless army who’s spent the second of thinking necessary for that conclusion.

The final point being, when one frantic General’s mad dash across the Galaxy to rescue his teenage sweetheart from the spectre of his supposedly dead nemesis crosses his desk on its way to the Chancellor’s inbox, it doesn’t take much time for him to block any and all trace of it across the digital space of the GAR commboard and take matters into his own hands.

“ - which is why I told Thorn to suck it up and be in charge for a few days, and also why you’re still alive, your Highness, very welcome, was no trouble at all”, he concludes, drily. The Duchess stares the wide-eyed look of someone attempting to reconcile clones with ‘sentience’ or perhaps ‘personality’ in her head, but won’t say it outright.

Or the look of someone who’s just been violently overthrown and nearly murdered, perhaps, Fox allows.

“Um -“, Kenobi hedges, blinking rapidly.

“And the reason you’re still alive, probably. You’re welcome for that too, by the way”, Grids calls from the back of the throne room, cheekily.

“Alright”, says Kenobi, loudly. There’s color back in his deathly-pale cheeks, Fox notes, even if that color is a lot of red. It doesn’t fade very gracefully into his beard. “Opinions on whether or not I had everything under control notwithstanding -“

“You really didn’t”, Hound supplies helpfully.

“ - opinions notwithstanding, I am admittedly still lost on why you’re now sitting on Darth Maul and attempting to, to - jeer at him, Marshall Commander!”

“We’re not jeering, we’re trying to create a safe space and lay the groundwork for more open communication”, Fox says, primly.

Maul screams into the ground, attempting for the umpteenth time to rear up and visit great violence upon Fox, which admittedly has him rattling in his crosslegged seat atop his back.

Kenobi raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Safe space?”

“He’s restrained and not stabbing anyone, I personally feel much safer than before”, Grids muses. “Watch the teeth though, Hound. Little biter.”

Indeed. Fox’s right greave will have to be replaced posthaste.

“And anyways, the point isn’t to jeer at him, it’s to make clear that he’s focusing his energy in the wrong places and could be doing much better things with his admittedly not-great life”, Fox adds, shifting to cast a pointed look down at Maul. The Sith is panting open-mouthed into the durasteel floor, sharp teeth gnashing wildly as his piercing yellow eyes shine with barely restrained rage. “I’m just saying - aim higher. You aren’t seeing the forest for the Kenobis, Maul. Can I call you Maul?”

“I will feed you your own entrails”, yowls Maul.

“See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Right now, I’m an easy target to focus all that built-up rage on, but is killing me really going to help you achieve any of your goals? No! Think about it - when it all comes down to it, who sent you on that mission to Naboo in the first place? Who made sure the Jedi and, by extension, Kenobi would be there to kill you? Who used you as a dejarik piece and then cast you aside the second you outlived your usefulness?”

Beneath him, Maul slowly stills in his struggle, still panting heavily. Hound and Nuisance don’t let it deter them in their vigilance, because they’re damn good vod’e and possess an ounce of common sense.

“And, look, I get it. I could spend the rest of my life punching every civilian who spits on me in the streets and it would even be satisfying. I could hit back the Senators who think of clones as easy targets. Or - I can aim my sights at who’s on top. And I think you know who I mean, because you know as well as I do the same damn man has ruined both our lives.”

Kenobi makes an alarmed noise, and Maul an interested one - not that Fox is going to let him walk out of this place awake. Still, he tilts his head in a way he hopes conveys his helmeted grin successfully to non-vod, as well as the bloodlust behind it. “You’re also welcome for the fact that the Chancellor won’t have heard of your spontaneous resurrection yet, by the way. You’ll retain your element of surprise instead of gambling it away on petty revenge on Kenobi.”

“He cut me in half!”

“He killed my master!”

Fox waves their protests away.

“Also, that’s treason!”, Kenobi adds, sputtering. Fox grins. Kenobi purses his lips, and continues. petulantly, “…do you have any proof?”

“So. Much. Proof”, says Nuisance, dreamily. “Like, do you want it alphabetically or by date?”

Which is when the Duchess, of all people, bursts out into barking, crazed laughter.

“You - you’ve certainly given yourself an edge in that fight, Marshall Commander”, she wheezes, brushing tears from her eyes. Fox raises his eyebrows at her, which she somehow seems to be able to tell, because she gestures at the clunky handle dangling from his belt.

“What, this old thing?” He unclasps the black rectangle from its hook, holding it up in the air. Maul stills strangely beneath him, and Kenobi goes ghostly pale again. Fox is starting to get a bad feeling.

“I took it off Viszla and beat him over the head with it. I figured he’d taken it off a Jedi cadet or something. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

[therulerofallpotatos]

Can we talk about Five who gets jealous? I mean, everyone can see it (4.06) and I love that 🫢

Five never had to share his wife with anyone ever. He was alone for decades with Delores and didn't like other people handling her in season one. He doesn't talk about her much either with the others. We see how he treats her though. How he acts with her. Five is soft and sweet and disgustingly romantic. He's that dopey old man at brunch who cannot stop making heart eyes at his wife of 50 years and smacks her ass for a greeting in that way that immediately makes her smile.

And he'll be so quick to violence if anyone disrespects her.

Then we have Lila. She's not like Delores. Delores was a piece of Five that he developed from his 13yo self's idea of a companion that evolved over the years as he changed. Think about some of the imaginary loves you may have played around with over the years. Or not necessarily loves. Imaginary friends or versions of yourself to put into situations as a kid. If you ever actually found yourself on a date with one (or equivalent) it'd be completely different. Lila is a full person. Not a coping mechanism or a fantasy. She's as messed up and lonely and complicated as Five is. She has her own shit and her own life and it's not inherintly tied to Five's. We see how Five went out of his way to give Delores friends and interests outside of him, but he still had to make those for her. He was still talking to himself.

Five for the most part didn't even recognize how much he was growing to care for Lila. There's a lot of bad blood between them and the fact that they're so similar deterred them as much as it brought them together. And with her pursuing Diego, even if Five recognized an attraction it wouldve been moot. With him not being able to trust her at all, he wasn't interested in giving her the time of day.

But they were family by the time we start season 4. That trust is long established. That care is familiar. They don't run off with the idea of an affair because they love Diego and have refused to recognize their romantic potential due to outside forces. Its just too late. Neither of them wanted to hurt Diego like that and they're both in denial anyways.

And then they were stranded in time for six years. They didn't just have each other now. They only had each other. Five has been down this road before. Lila knows that Five has been down this road before possibly more than anyone else in this show. He suddenly has Lila all to himself and its getting less and less likely they'll ever have anyone else. It's natural that things that were always possible did happen in those circumstances and once again, Five has a wife who he literally never had to share with anyone else in any way.

I don't think he'd ever consciously try to limit his partner's life due to his own jealousy, but it is not a skill he's ever had to learn. Add onto that all the tangled mess of Diego and Lila's marriage and Five not ever wanted to betray his brother like that...

And on top of it all, he's pushing 70 and he's tired and surrounded by world ending dysfunction again.

He is deeply in love with his brother's wife and has essentially been her husband for years too and nobody else even knows he's been gone that long and Diego is acting like nothing has changed and they're finally in a room with their family again and it's both everything Five wanted and everything that is tearing his life apart

And that doesn't even touch how Lila is visibly struggling as well.

[iamnmbr3]

Who's alphard black and why do you ship him woth tom riddle? I'm just curious

*Gasps* What? What do you mean you don't know who Alphard Black, the star of this singular line in the whole series is?

Jkjk. Ok so Alphard Black gets mentioned once in the books (in the above line from Order of the Phoenix) and also appears in the offical Black family tree here:

Obviously that makes him a very minor character. Although it is interesting that we know he never married and produced children as would have probably been the norm for purebloods (*cough* "confirmed bachelor" *cough*) and that he never left the family/was disowned over ideology the way Andromeda or Sirius were, but also doesn't seem to have been mentioned as one of the ones who was actively involved in the Death Eater cause, apparently maintained something of a relationship with Sirius and even left him money even though he'd already left home and broken with his family over their politics (which apparently angered Sirus's mom so much that she burned him off the tapestry, and thus obviously wasn't the expected thing). He also is in the age range to have attended school with Tom Riddle.

That all provides some interesting fodder to work with. Which but for a twist of fate I never would have thought twice about or even noticed because once upon a time I, like you, would also have said "who is Alphard Black and why would anyone ship him with Tom Riddle?" In fact I did say just that to myself when I came across the fic Amulette d'amour by @therealvinelle and @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta.

I can't even remember how I happened to stumble across it. It was purely by chance. "What a wild and random concept for a pairing" I thought with a level of naivety and hubris that would shortly spell my downfall right into rarepair hell. "I'll just take a look out of curiosity" I thought.

Well the fic was both amazing and hilarious and contained a brilliant characterization of Alphard (and Tom) and a fascinating relationship dynamic which I have now decided is canon and I am now stuck shipping an extremely rare pairing to the hilt and having to explain to people why one of my all time favorite characters is mentioned precisely once in 7 books. You should totally read the fic though so that you, too, can suffer. Tom & Alphard are dysfunctional soulmates and Alphard is also genuinely a fascinating character (as he now exists in my head and in the few fics he appears in). It's canon in my heart. I am also deeply entertained by the humor potential of the ship.

[nightcolorz]

Armand surgical malpractice meta (spoilers for TVA)

It’s, at least from what I’ve seen, a pretty popularly agreed upon conception that Armand’s mutation of Claudia b4 her death as described in TVA didn’t actually happen..partly bcus it’s such a drastic and grotesque retcon from her death in interview with the vampire so lots of ppl don’t want to address it as canon, and partly bcus it’s so bizarre and seemingly unprompted in context that it just seems more plausible that Armand would make this up as some sort of twisted shock value rather then actually do it. I used to buy into this theory and never rlly thought about it beyond that, and today for the first time I thought about it deeply and realized. Damn I rlly disagree! I think that Armand 100% canonically chopped Claudia’s head off and sewed it onto an adult body. I believe it happened as told. And I have many reasons !

First and foremost I don’t think that Armand is actually capable of lying so deliberately in this context. Interpreting most tvc narrators as potentially lying to our faces and intentionally twisting events to suit a narrative and a purpose of dictating our perception of them is, I think, accurate and justified, and smth I love about this fandom. Everyone is not to be trusted 100%, especially Louis and Lestat, who are said and implied many times to have completely fabricated some events in the books for the sake of painting a picture. Tvc serve as this over arching plot about multiple conflicting characters manipulating events of their lives to suit a narrative that we as the audience can pick apart and discover the truth within. Very much “this bitch said WHAT about me?? that dumb cunt is always spreading lies smh, it actually happened LIKE THIS” (they r both not telling the full truth). Armand however is very much an outlier here, and it’s part of what makes TVA so unique as a chronicle. It’s a big part of his character throughout the series, in TVA and leading up to TVA, that Armand’s way of thinking is so dysfunctional and his memory is so flawed (bcus of all his trauma) (and neurodivergence) (imo) that he isn’t able to fully conceptualize the events of his life as chronological and meaningful in the way that one would need to do to be able to write a memoir.

He can’t describe events in broad strokes, or wrap his head around a vast emotional impact in a way that is explanatory or intentional. Think of that conversation he has with Daniel in queen of the damned, where he explains that he isn’t capable of telling Daniel what his life in the past “was like” because that’s a concept incomprehensible to him. He only knows what happened, not what it was like, not how it affected him or how it shaped his personhood, what it means etc. It’s a form of dissociation almost. The vampire armand is the first time in Armand’s vampiric life that he self reflects beyond acknowledging events and his emotions in that moment, it’s the first time he attempts to make connections and understand himself in a way that is narrative and structured and not fragmented bits of history and A names. Part of this requires further dissociation. I definitely get the impression that since Armand is being so vulnerable in a way he is so unused to, yet is so significant, he is unable to register while he’s talking that not only David, but millions of people including every vampire in the world, will know what he says. He’s just laying himself completely bare, he’s talking and talking and only once he finishes realizes oh. Oh. everyone’s going to read this huh. It’s so cathartic he doesn’t consider that in the moment. It’s the first time he’s ever been capable of reckoning with his life in a self reflective way, of looking at it and explaining it and reasoning with it, structuring it in order, not fragments, etc, seeing the cause and the impact and touching on an overall conclusion (tho he never entirely gets there). These baby steps are so difficult for him already, and considering this part of his character I really think it’s a stretch to say that Armand would be capable of the thought process in his book of pure venting to go “maybe I should twist the truth here or change this or add this or lie about this so people will think of me this way or so Lestat can see this, etc” TVA is unreliable, more so bcus of how mentally ill armand is and how little he understands his own life and emotions, but not deliberately like iwtv and tvl. Armand even says that the book was for Benji and Sybelle, but it’s so unfiltered and horrific and vent-like that this sounds ridiculous. He doesn’t even have his stated audience in mind while he’s telling his story, let alone his broader audience. The audience was a complete afterthought, a barely registered consequence. So why would he lie about Claudia? How would he be capable?

it’s another common piece of conversation around this part of TVA where we go, Armand discusses how he never would want to tell this to Louis bcus he knows how badly it would hurt him, so why did he describe it so graphically? Well, cause of all I mentioned. It seems pretty clear to me that armand is almost haunted by the affair with Claudia, and he has no way of lying about this, so his descriptions seemed very much to me like a desperate bit of venting. He has never told anyone how horrific it actually was and it’s always been in his mind, so he just lets it all out. Makes sense, but the broader question is, if Armand wasn’t lying…why did he do that at all?? This I think is so interesting.

To understand this I had to think a lot about Armand’s motivations for killing Claudia at all, which is well, simply, revenge against Lestat and claiming of Louis without barriers. If Claudia dies Lestat will be sad and Louis will be mine and mine alone 👍👍 etc. but Claudia’s mutation was not rooted in either of these motivations, which is part of why it’s so shocking. He didn’t do it to hurt Lestat, lestat never found out. It just seems so odd and unprompted. But once I thought more about why Armand hates Lestat, and why he wants to hurt him by killing Claudia, it started to fit into place. Armand’s hatred for Lestat is rooted very much in his twisted resemblance to Marius that he perceives as being very strong and basically mocking. When he first sees Lestat in tvl he’s repulsed by him instantly bcus he sees him as this parody of Marius, this beautiful blonde man in striking red robes who boldly and carelessly defies the laws of vampires established by the children of Satan as if they are meaningless to him, revels in the indulgent world of humans like he belongs there, shamelessly as armand devotes himself to miserable repression. It strikes a nerve for armand, feels very personally offensive to him, like the embodiment of the traits that got Marius’s destroyed r coming back to mock him in his face. And then as he gets to know Lestat more deeply he only hates him more, bcus Lestat is not only bold and careless, but he’s immature and stupid, and he knows nothing. Armand in his horribly traumatized mind set registers Lestat as “like Marius” and takes this to mean “maybe he can save me, maybe he will teach me and free me from this hell, guide me and give me the purpose I need to be given.” But Lestat does not do this, lmfao. He actually destroys any sense of purpose armand had, rips him from his safety net, and when Armand begs for guidance, asks to be allowed to travel alongside Lestat so he can learn to be a person again, Lestat denies him. The only purpose he bothers to give him is the scraps, symbolic of his perverse indulgence that Armand despises, and fucks off. Lestat is grotesquely reminiscent of Marius, in the worst ways. It’s like his presence alone opens Armand’s eyes to how badly Marius has ruined him. He was the sun, the purpose, the guiding light, and then it was ripped away, and there was nothing else without him. Just a void.

So Armand hates Lestat for this very personal mockery of his own plight, and this hatred spirals into unbridled rage when Lestat returns to him and expects Armand to give Lestat the assistance that he denied him. Not only this, but Lestat found Marius, found marius and was granted guidance and love that Marius refused to give Armand after his indoctrination into the children of Satan. And Marius told Lestat to never ever do what he did, never make an Armand, because Armand was a mistake, he was too young to be a vampire, and now he’s a mistake he will never forgive himself for. And with this immense privilege that Armand spent a huge chunk of his life yearning for, guidance from Marius when he was his most lost, Lestat decides to disregard it. He decides that since Marius said it was bad to turn a child as young as Armand, he’d turn a child even younger then Armand, just cuz. He is once again the embodiment of Marius’s sins, the grotesque parody. Marius turned a teenager, Lestat turns a five year old. It’s almost cruel in how mocking it is, almost intentional in how personal. So Claudia is this child, this deliberate mistake made by someone who knew her turning would be harmful to her but was selfish enough not to care, then went on to regret it when he has to reckon with the consequences. Seem familiar? Armand sure thought so. So I imagine that being alone with Claudia, looking this deeply sad reflection of his own agony in the eyes, knowing she is about to die for justice against a warped parody of his Maker, for the sake of punishment for her own existence, I imagine this struck a cord of insanity in Armand’s fucked up mind, caused him to loose his absolute shit for just long enough to go what if I can fix her, what if I can turn this narrative around, give her the remarkable ending I know deep down that she, I , will never be granted. What if I can give her a body that will reflect her mind? What if I can make this abomination into a miracle? No wonder he pulled out the surgical tools 😭 No wonder he was so horrified by his own actions when he came to his senses, no wonder he refused to share this, kept it to himself for so long, until he finally broke and confessed it all in a desperate moment when he was too caught up in the dam breaking to realize he’d be exposing this horrific action to the world.

Armand sees Claudia as a repulsive mistake that should’ve never existed made by Lestat to deliberately mock him up until the surgery, when then for only a moment lost to time ended in blood she is another child who had her life taken from her too soon by an egotistical blonde man who thought he could play god with someone’s life. “They were done for anyway, he was going to starve to death in a brothel, she was going to die as a street orphan, the blood would be a service to them, a chance they never had” But they both know that’s a lie they tell themselves to justify the act of taking a child and molding it into what they please for fun, for pleasure, for companionship, just to see what would happen. Armand sees this for a moment and wants to give her a chance, give them both a chance, wants to see her as an adult, as someone who could have a life. And then of course, we know how that turns out 😭

[atopvisenyashill]

Do you… do you maybe want to share the nedcat sex headcanons?

alsdfj i got you anon

so emotional/timeline wise my headcanons are-

Ned actually knows a lot about sex because he grew up with Brandon and Robert in his ear talking about the women they'd been fucking but he sticks to missionary until after Sansa is born because he doesn't want Cat to think he's a man slut, he canNot get hard if he's thinking about Brandon or anything Brandon ever said to him even a little, and he's also like 75% sure they were just straight up lying to him.

Ned doesn't want to pressure her because he's unsure how long it takes to recover from birth and he's worried she hates him so he awkwardly asks if the birth was hard, how she's feeling, and Catelyn realizes he's asking if she's cleared to fuck and she's just like "yeah I'll come to your room tonight if you want" but Ned is like "no no i'll come to you!!" so the first few years, they're doing all their fucking in her room instead of his.

With the three year gap between Robb and Sansa, I think the first year or so the two of them are barely fucking. There's barely an eye contact because Catelyn still thinks he's mid and he always looks so serious and Ned keeps thinking about Brandon, going soft, and getting embarrassed (i'm an expert on grief and sexual dysfunction bro trust me on this) (i'm being serious here i got a lot of dead family members)

The crying incident happens like a month after the Ashara incident. Ned doesn't skip their Scheduled Sex Day, but the bruise he left takes forever to fade away and they're both really aware of it when they're fucking and he can't like, apologize even though he feels like the biggest asshole and she can't be mad at him because that's not how Proper Wives act, so it's just a lot of no eye contact sex until he's crying into her hair and trying to hide it. Catelyn feels so weird about it because she's like "he's crying over Ashara he hates me he wanted to marry her instead of me and we'll never be happy" but she's also Elder Sister Extreme so his crying makes her start playing with his hair, and then they're sad making out and both crying and he goes soft and they're both laughing at how deeply stupid they're being.

He comes to her room the next night to apologize for being a fucking wreck and then when they're banging - and it's going really well - he suggests she get on top and she's like...I can do that? Hell yes she can and it's real good.

They start fucking more spontaneously, with her dropping hints outside of Scheduled Sex Days that he could drop by if he wants, and Ned awkwardly asking if he can come by on other days, but before they really find a groove she's pregnant with Sansa and he's like "if we fuck it'll hurt the baby" but he notices Cat is clearly feeling some type of way about the fact that they stopped having sex and this is when Ned goes down on her for the first time.

Literally the moment she's cleared they start having sex again. I love that scene in the show where Ros says he rang all the bells in Winter's Town for a week after Sansa was born, because I just love the idea that Cat is feeling slightly bummed that this one came out with red hair and a girl at that (she wants a daughter eventually but what she wants is a son that looks like Ned) but Ned is so jazzed about being here for this birth and getting to hold Sansa when she's still a newborn and the birth was easy so they're both healthy, and keeps stopping random servants to be like "look at my baby i made this!!" that Cat just completely falls in love and is dropping hints about him visiting her rooms whenever he wants and Ned loves affection so. It's so good none of the kids are old enough to be scarred by how often their parents fuck yet.

Sometime after Arya is born and he's back from the Greyjoy Rebellion, they start getting super adventurous. He's going down on her in the godswood. She's going down on him in the middle of the day in his solar. One time she wears an old dress that's a lil too tight across the chest and he mumbles about visiting her later and she's just like you know what fuck it and they do it in a random room. He feels her up one time in the Sept but she's like i canNot do this with the Seven watching so he drags her to his room and it's not even lunchtime. They get ass over tits drunk at an Umber wedding and bang (really quickly and not very quietly) in a random hallway. Robb sees like the corner of Ned's ass one (1) time when they're fucking in the godswood and they calm down a little bit because Robb spends the rest of the month sullenly glaring at Ned while Jon is clearly trying to become one with whatever floor he's standing on because Robb obviously squealed immediately.

They start fucking in his room before Bran is born and she starts sleeping in there sometimes when they get tired out lmao. As they age, they gotta limber up a lil bit but that just means Ned has has an excuse to "massage" her aka feel her up. She will do that thing where she'll lightly massage his shoulders in public but it always gets him a lil rowdy (in an affectionate, loving way) and it makes Theon cackle and it makes Robb want to die and Jory is always saying he hopes he's happy like that with his wife while Robb is begging him to shut the fuck up.

Ned would never grab her ass in public but he definitely checks her out with zero shame in front of the gods and everyone because the pregnancies gave her a huge ass and sometimes Arya will narrow her eyes at him because she doesn't know what the fuck he's staring at but she knows it's inappropriate and then Ned feels guilty for being horny in front of his kids.

specific "what are they doing in bed" stuff-

most of the weird shit they get into is curiosity. neither of them is ever trying to be sexy (he doesn't want to pressure her, proper ladies don't enjoy they endure, etc) but she is naturally curious and they find each other so completely sexy that they just want to try everything to see how it feels.

they get into orgasm denial (for her). starts out as just like, they're unsure of what to do, he's fairly certain Robert was making up all that stuff about his girls screaming in ecstasy but once they find a groove, Ned finds he really enjoys like, methodically edging her until she's tearing her own hair out and then getting really rough, and it becomes a game to see how close he can get her without pushing her over, how long she can stay on the edge without going over, and then snowballs into how long they can fuck ~just for him~ until she's like, inconsolable. this is mostly because ~proper ladies don't ask for it~ right so Catelyn is always framing her own sexual desire as I'm Sure You Have Needs My Lord so Ned becomes determined to make her admit that she really wants him.

He goes down on her literally all the time. Man dreams about eating the pussy every night.

obviously Ned has a canon breeding kink a mile wide but that's because when they're fucking Catelyn is talking to him about making another son. she picked that up from a Manderly wedding they went to. she doesn't go down on him as often because he's like no it goes Inside You Cat and it's the most hilarious, most sexy thing he gets huffy about.

they do reverse cowgirl all the time specifically so he can watch her hair bounce all around. she really loves when she's in his lap and they're just kinda grinding and making out and he's playing with her hair because she really likes the feeling of her chest against his.

they go hard he has bruised her hips a lot but it's okay because she scratches the fuck out of his back. they're both really apologetic the first time it happens except as it turns out not only does Cat get a thrill out of pressing down on the bruises during the day, Ned likes looking at the scratches so they start doing it on purpose. he's really careful to never bruise her arms however (he did one time kind of accidentally because he was holding her wrists above her head and she was weird and moody all week until he realized he'd triggered The Bad Memory) but he will leave fingerprint bruises all over her thighs and chest. She'll scratch up his chest enough to draw blood and he'll be fingering the scrape and Luwin is like why do you two do this to me. make sure she washes her hands before at least so it doesn't get inflamed seven hells.

She catches Theon doing anal with a servant and gets curious and brings it to Ned and she likes how it's just a little painful and overwhelming. Ned never finishes inside her ass though he thinks it's really weird, so he finishes on her belly usually which he feels is a waste until she started scooping it up and licking it off her fingers again, mostly out of curiosity than anything, and he uh, really likes that.

He still refuses to come in her mouth though lmao.

[bookishbrewer]

⚠️ CW: Suicide, Toxic relationships, depression, mention of self-harm

Why I believe that House's story ends with tragedy post season 8 - an opinion piece:

Hello everyone, this is a remake of a post I did a couple years ago on an older blog. If you find it familiar, I'm sorry if this one is a bit messier than the original. It's been longer since my last rewatch.

So, let's recap the finale of House MD: Treating a drug addict patient results in House examining his life, his future and confronting his own personal demons.

As we know, House ends up faking his death in this episode, after going on a 2 day drug fuelled bender with his drug addicted patient. The patient ends up overdosing & dying, and House remains to confront his 8 seasons worth of demons. At the end he escapes the firery scene & fakes his death by switching his medical records. After all of that, he runs away with Wilson to spend his remaining 5 months to live.

Before House replies to what Wilson is saying, he thinks for a moment. I want try & piece together what was going through his head at that moment evaluating his life:

1. Every romantic relationship with House ends in heartbreak

Stacy

Season 2, Episode 11

Cameron

Season 3, Episode 8

Lydia

Season 5, Episode 23-24

Cuddy

Season 5, Episode 6 // Season 7, Episode 23

Dominika

Season 8, Episode 13 // Season 8, Episode 18

Every single one of these relationship was ended because House either deliberately behaved in a way that would push the love interest away or by breaking their trust. House was never actively malicious towards his partners, but he was not a very good partner. He was self centered, self loathing, very much focused on himself (even when trying to be as supportive & caring as possible) but at the end of every relationship, the women understood that they could not remain in a Healthy relationship with House. Either because he refused to tackle his addiction, his psychological distress & trauma or be honest with them and respect them as equal to him in their relationship.

2. House's relationship with his family

House was severely abused by his father, a military man, both physically & emotionally. His mother did not protect him from said abuse (probably because of feeling deeply guilty about her affair that gave birth to Gregory), which lead to him growing in an abusive houshold that was built on lies, dysfunction & distance (which partially explains his behavior in the show, especially his approach to human nature: "Everybody Lies"). House was never really close with his parents, so it would make sense that he would not rely on them for support in any way, not even in a life or death situation such as him feeling at his lowest in every aspect of his life. In addition to that, he may even doubt how much his loss would effect his parents if something were to happen to him.

3. House's suicidal ideation

House is shown numerous times in the show to not reject the option of ending his life. He actively tries to commit suicide twice during the show (Merry Little Christmas, season 3 episode 11 // Simple Explanation, season 5 episode 20), ponders it in the season finale (Everybody Dies, season 8 episode 22) but decides against it, choosing to fake his death instead.

In addition to that, he also indulges in self-harm in the form of cutting himself (also "Merry Little Christmas" & "Nobody's Fault"), intentionally hurting his limbs (leg - "Under My Skin", hand - "After Hours").

Like Wilson said, House cannot go back from that decision (similarly to how you can never come back from suicide). He can never have access his addictions: puzzles (medicine) & escapism (Vicodin & other drugs). We know how House gets without his meds, he becomes... A shadow of himself. Sometimes it's a violent dark figure, sometimes it's an apathetic & silent husk, sometimes it's a dark creature screaming in agony, sometimes it's just House, but something is off. Without constant puzzles, dissecting human nature & feeding his ego & emotional needs, he's lost.

Unlike other characters, like Dexter Morgan from the Showtime series "Dexter" House never treats suicide like it is somehow "beneath him":

Dexter speaks to Sg. Doakes, Season 2 Episode 11

Compare & contrast that to House's reaction to Taub pleading with House to try & understand Wilson's decision to discontinue his cancer treatment & to die with dignity:

Season 8, Episode 21

Just the thought of Wilson passing away before his time triggers House's suicidal thoughts. He disregards the patients & visitors in the background, the colleagues that may hear, Taub himself, everyone. This, in my opinion was the start of the "nothing else matters anymore" mindset. House was already at the end of his rope, and losing the person he loves more than anything else in the world was just... Too much.

4. House doesn't see a future without Wilson

In season 6, Episode 10, House refuses to be present during Wilson's surgery at first:

Wilson: I want you to be there

House, after thinking: No.

Wilson: Why?

House: Because if you die, I'm alone.

House cannot fathom the possibility of witnessing Wilson die. He cannot even consider for a moment to stand before Wilson's lifeless body & realizing that this is it, he is completely & utterly alone in this world.

We see multiple times that House not only cares deeply about Wilson, he is also dependant on him, to the point of the relationship often becoming toxic for both of them (hurting other relationships, sabotaging new ones, need for validation of both the relationship itself & both of them of each other individually, indulging unhealthy behaviors towards others etc).

But we all remember how that situation concluded:

House watching over Wilson as a big bright light washes over him as he loses consciousness. To me, this seems like foreshadowing for what's to come after the season finale, after those last 5 months.

Another thing that caught my eye was him stating "I can live without Kyle" (season 8, episode 20) when referring to a guy that stole Wilson's prom date when he was in highschool. He wanted to immitate said 'Kyle' for the entire episode, trying his best to act uncaring, aloof, "alpha". Essentially, to act out of character. But numerous times in said episode, Wilson still displayed the very same characteristics that both House and the audience love so much about him. So House affirms that he cannot live in a world without Wilson, just the way he is.

5. House is willing to preform a "mercy kill" for his close friends

In the episode "The Dig" (Season 7, Episode 18), House assures Thirteen, who's diagnosed with Huntington's, that he is willing to euthanize her when her Huntington symptoms worsen (this happens after Thirteen confides in House, telling him about how she killed her own brother after his Huntington symptoms worsened. House's reaction left Thirteen shocked, hurt & disappointed, as it seemed like he did not care at all. But we know he did, very deeply).

House gets a positive reaction from Thirteen, which is later also approved to the audience & the people in House's funeral when she states in her eulogy: "He was willing to kill me". Wilson, as we know, is also in the audience. He then knows that House is willing to preform a "mercy kill" on a loved one. He also mentions it in the finale:

Wilson: When the cancer starts getting really bad-

House, putting a halmet on: Cancer's boring.

I want us to return to the "I'm dead, Wilson" scene:

House is at a point in which he feels like he has nothing left to lose. He has no close friends that give him meaning besides Wilson, no family to rely on, no romantic relationship seems to last, he feels powerless when it comes to his addiction to drugs, he is facing jail time after accidently breaking an MRI machine with Foreman's ticket gift which he flushed down the hospital's toilet (which may as well cause him to be fired & lose his job and/or license to practice medicine, in addition to the fact he faked his own death).

We already know that House is prone to depression, self harm & suicidal ideation (including attempts), we've covered that he is willing to end a loved ones life if there is no medical solution to their health related state, we know that Wilson is not (to our knowledge up to the last episode) willing to go through any other treatment & we know that House cannot live without Wilson.

Adding all of this up & remembering the foreshadowing of Wilson's health related issue & House's course of action (watching over him as a bright light covers the screen as he loses consciousness) I believe that after those 5 months, when the cancer gets really bad, House will take Wilson's life... And then, his own.

This is essentially the end of the post, but I would like to add a few things:

Disclaimer: this post is not meant in any way to promote, encourage or agree with anything that supports one taking their own life, self harming or any other kind of self inflicted damage. This is just a theory based on how I've precieved House's character.

Short fic based on this post:

[sarabethsilver]

Unpopular opinion: I don't like Jess and Luke's "reconciliation" in S4... because I don't think they actually repaired anything. I think their dynamic in S4 is like every other parent-child dynamic in Gilmore Girls: unable to break their deeply dysfunctional patterns. (Stop reading now if you love their big hug at the end of S4. I don't want to yuck anybody's yum!)

Liz kicks Jess out and sends him to Luke. And without writing a dissertation about how unstable I think their relationship was the entire time Jess lived there, I'll just say: it wasn't awesome. Better than Liz, absolutely, but not great. And honestly, any good Luke did was destroyed when he angrily kicked Jess out in his moment of desperate need. In short: their relationship was badly damaged prior to S4, and true reconciliation would have to involve actual acknowledgement and repair of that damage. But that's not what happened.

I think you have to examine Luke and Jess' relationship in the context of Liz, because she is a key player here. And to be clear: Liz is Jess' Abuser. She gave him a childhood of chaos and neglect, and when he started to act out because of that... she blamed him, kicked him out, and never spoke to him again. It's difficult to explain just how thoroughly that kind of chronic abuse damages kids. Despite that, Luke prioritizes and protects Liz over Jess. I'm not even blaming Luke; this is a common family dynamic around abusive adults. The other adults in the family deny what's happening, because it's too painful to look at directly.

Liz and Jess both return to Stars Hollow in S4. Liz is given a mild side-eye by Luke, but generally she's welcomed. Jess is... not. Luke shouts at him and makes it VERY clear that Jess is not welcome to stay. He refuses to acknowledge or apologize for the fact that he kicked Jess out or stole his car. Luke shows no concern for where Jess has been living, how he's feeling, or if he has any of his basic needs met. The message is clear: you messed up, kid, and it's your own damn fault. Which is exactly what Liz tells him, by the way... Jess' reaction to her abuse is his fault. (This is part of that family dynamic around abuse; it's easier to blame the angry-looking kid than to examine the abusive behaviors of the adult. In therapy, we refer to this labeling of the kid as "bad" as the "Identified Patient." It's not intentional, but it's a way to deny abuse is happening.)

Things gets worse. Every time Jess tries to set a boundary with Liz - refusing to interfere in her relationship, declining her wedding invitation, saying no to walking her down the aisle - he is chastised. Luke yells at him, insults him, and guilts him. (Luke also takes a moment to shit all over Jess' life and call him a drug dealer. He doesn't give that label to Liz, the actual addict, he gives it to the Identified Patient.) So Jess, who has been totally alone for a year, does what any abused and neglected kid would do: he follows directions in an attempt to gain acceptance.

After a moment of Luke seeming to blame Jess for getting assaulted by his stepfather (again: Identified Patient), Luke makes a glib comment about Jess "hating" Liz. He doesn't want to understand how Jess feels about Liz, though, because that would be too painful to hear. The only thing Luke knows how to do is appease Liz and maintain the appearance of having a happy family. And Jess having a negative feeling about Liz interferes with that. So the message is clear: act happy or just get out of here.

So Jess stops trying to set boundaries or express his feelings. He shuts up, pastes a smile on his face, and dutifully walks his Abuser down the aisle. It's then - and ONLY then - that Luke gives him kindness. That's not reconciliation. That's Luke, unintentionally giving Jess the message that his feelings, boundaries, and safety are secondary to Liz's whims. It's easier to play Happy Family than to actually examine Liz's abuse, Luke's ignoring of that abuse, and do the hard work of repairing.

I see Luke's hug - and his "I'm here Jess, I'm always here" - and it rings hollow for me. Luke has done none of the repair work that would be necessary for a statement like that to carry weight. Nor has he "been there" for Jess at all in the past year. He's plainly prioritized Liz, Jess' Abuser, instead of protecting his nephew, the Identified Patient.

And I don't even blame Luke for that. Luke was deeply entrenched in his own dysfunctional family role. He's been Liz's caretaker for his entire adult life, and he seems to think that he's failing if he doesn't perpetually bail her out of trouble. He can't see past his role of Liz's Enabler and Protector, which is why he could never be an effective guardian to Jess.

S4 doesn't end with Luke and Jess mending fences. It ends with Jess learning that it's his role to shut up and placate Liz, no questions asked. And at the end of all that, Jess goes back to his dirty mattress on the floor and Liz gets to stay in Stars Hollow. Where she is joyfully embraced and fully supported by Luke at every single turn, no matter how many egregious mistakes she makes.

Luke loves Jess, and he does support him in various ways - paying for the car repairs, showing up to Jess' Open House, giving him advice about Rory. There's good stuff there. But it's clear that when push comes to shove, Luke is going to coddle Liz,Jess' Abuser, for the rest of her natural-born life. Jess, the Identified Patient, is on his own.

(By the time we reach AYITL, Jess is also dutifully coddling Liz and bailing her out of trouble. Lesson learned, I guess.)

Luke and Jess love each other, and I wanted a reconciliation for them so badly! But this wasn't it.

[solarpunkwitchcraft]

So I’ve written a number of posts to the extent of “don't worry about conscious consumerism, the best way to change the world is to get involved in environmental action!” But I wonder how actually accessible getting involved in local action feels to people. So, as someone who has been able to find cool activist groups to join both when I was in college and now post-graduation, here’s my advice for how to get involved in something happening in your area!

1. Just show up to stuff. Ok, I know this sounds stupid and obvious, but I do feel like this is truly the best way to get a sense of what’s going on around you. Search online for activist groups near you, check local news for references to anyone doing work that you care about. Find those organizations and see if they have any public actions, info sessions, or other public events that are coming up. This could be anything from a protest, a rally, an onboarding session, a tree-planting festival in the park, an educational event, a local union standout outside the grocery store, a farm volunteer day, what have you. You can even go to a town meeting, although I can’t promise that will be interesting. It may be that the organization you find is not working on an issue that you’re the most interested in or that you don’t like the way they operate or something, but going to events can be a great way to learn about other orgs or campaigns where you live that maybe have less of a high profile. By showing up to these kinds of events, you will get a better sense of the activism landscape, which will help you find out if there are orgs that you want to join 2. In-person events are better for getting to know people, I find, but if you aren’t able to go to in-person events for health reasons, or because you are in rural area, virtual events are great too! I recently moved to a city, but previously was working with a regional activist group while I lived in a rural area, and I basically worked with them on Zoom that whole year. 3. If you’re going to an in-person event, bring a friend! Maybe they’re also interested in getting involved in activism, maybe they’re just going to help you out, but its good to have a buddy, especially if you’re at a rally or a protest. Not only is this safer, this way you have someone to debrief with and talk through whether or not this is a group that you want to commit to. 4. Sometimes, other orgs will be mentioned in an activist meeting. If those interest you, check them out, especially if they are more aligned to the kind of work you’re interested in doing. 5. Talk to people at the event! I know this can be intimidating (believe me I’m an introvert), but this is honestly the best way to get information about the general vibe of this group, or if there are other groups in the area doing things closer to you or more aligned with the work you are interested in. In my experience, people at activist events are always excited to help other activists. 6. Keep a critical eye! All activist groups are imperfect, some are deeply dysfunctional, some are legitimately dangerous. If you’re at a group or event and you think they seem sketchy, disorganized, ineffective, or anything that you are not interested in, leave! Don’t settle to join a group that you have bad feelings about because they seem like the only game in town. That could be frustrating at best or dangerous at worst. 7. Don’t commit to anything at the first meeting! Maybe you’re at an activist meeting for the first time and you think, hey this group is amazing, I want to get involved right away! Or maybe you’re thinking, this is the only group I could find, so I guess I better commit. Don’t do that on your first meeting! Go to a few more public events, meetings, or info sessions. This will let you have a better sense of the group before you commit and will let you see if this is a group that you really want to join. If an activist group requires you to commit to anything at this first meeting (or if they strongly suggest that you do), run! That is a very bad sign, 8. This is the exception for most volunteer opportunities, which may need you to commit for a certain amount of volunteer shifts before you show up. That’s fine! Volunteer groups are also great because they’re a lot more common than activist groups in my experience and more likely to exist in small towns. Some, like Food Not Bombs, have an explicitly political angle which makes them a great place to get to know fellow leftists in the area. Others, like your local soup kitchen, won’t have that angle. But it’s a great way to get involved in your community, get to know people, and do something material to help others. Other kinds of volunteer opportunities may be helping with refugee resettlement projects, pulling up invasive plants, helping a nonprofit with administrative work, all kinds of things! 9.Be patient. I spent most of my late teens/early 20s beating myself up that I wasn’t involved in the kind of activist work that most interested me. But then I met someone at a larger nation-wide event that was from my area, asked for similar things to get involved with at a local level and joined that org. Now, I am doing the activist work that I always dreamed of doing.These things take time and you may not find the exact right kind of opportunity right away. That’s ok! Take your time, keep your wits about you, and don’t be too hard on yourself.

I hope that is helpful! Please let me know if you have any other questions about my experience or my advice and I would be happy to answer them :) Solidarity!

[bl00dlight]

In your most recent ask you spoke about how Ewan said Aemond has the code to be able to walk out on people thus he wouldn't allow himself to be vulnerable/being loved can't help him. But I also have to remind you that Ewan also said that Alicent would be the exception to that code, he wouldn't be able to walk out on her for example, and he also said, and I quote; "I think that's the only way you can beat Aemond, is with love." So I'd argue that saying he'd refuse to be loved or refuse to be genuinely close to someone isn't quite correct. Because talking about show Aemond, I think Ewan has been making it quite clear that Aemond would be willing to be close to people who care for him. All I'm saying is that I don't think things are so black and white, I think Aemond, the one from the show at least, would be able and willing to form connections.

I mean yes, no I agree. I said that he'd be able to form connections.

But I think what Ewan meant by that quote isn't "you can fix Aemond with love." It's that you can BEAT Aemond with love. Those are two separate ideas. What Ewan meant was, in that context of him saying that was to do with why he kicked Alicent out of the council room. Which I talk about, and Ewan talks about Aemond not wanting Alicent in the room because she MAKES him vunerable/emotional. And Aemond doesn't want to feel those things, he doesn't want to be put in a position of weakness. He is a character defined by fear. And for him genuine vunerablity = fear.

What Ewan meant is, you can dampen his worst impulses with love. But you can't make him feel more secure with love. Because love makes him feel vunerable aka beaten/weak. Love doesn't mean you'd fix him. Because what happens when you trigger his insecurities? What happens when you do what Alicent and Helaena both do and point out he is violent/cruel?

I think it's a deeply unrealistic idea to frame Aemond as basically, he'd call the whole thing off, this entire personality would go from violent, power hungry, controlling etc

To loving family man - if he is just given some love/care/affection.

He literally PAYS the Madame to do that exact thing and still walks out on her. Because she means nothing to him. He was confessing something which is MASSIVELY vunerable - that he feels guilty for Lucerys - he exposes himself completely to her; yet feels nothing for her. He can just abandon her. Which is Ewan says is Aemonds philosophy. Don't get attached. You can't get hurt if you're not attached.

“Don’t let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner.” That’s the code his character utilizes so he’s able to maneuver around this world without getting caught by Al Pacino."

But unless you were his family members (the ones he actually cares about) Unless you were Alicent and Helaena - he'd be using you as a substitute. Which Ewan also talks about Aemond finding substitutes for that love he so desperately wants. A substitute is not the same thing.

He hasn't exactly been very kind to Alicent has he? When she puts her hands on him he pushes them away after he told her to go back to 'domestic pursuits'. He has trash talked her all season, called her weak.

I think in season 1, yea. His character would be more willing to be close to others: but his character was in a place of greater stablity.

But season 2 is a whole different story. He is like 18 years old and has experienced an unbelievable amount of trauma in the span of a few months. And now? All the stablity he once has is completely gone. Remember, trauma is something that pulls you further and further down into your worst impulses. Why? Because it's a survival reflex. Aemond in s2 has lost ALLLLLLL the love/stablity he once had with his mother/family. Which again, was already very dysfunctional anyway. But it was managed. And Aemond wasn't in a position of power like he now is.

Alicent tries to be close with him.

I don't think you've quite interpreted what I was saying, I wasn't saying Aemond would refuse love/care - in fact I have a whole section discussing how that's exactly what he wants. Only it wouldn't be a functional idea of love and care for the person who was giving it to him.

The ask was specifically asking me how I think he'd behave in a relationship where he is loved and cared for. And I said... well exactly how he behaves with Alicent and Helaena (who both do love and care for him).

I mean, if you want to take Alys for an example - we don't really know what their relationship was like or the dynamic. But just from the fact in the books there was clearly, a romantic element to it - Aemond isn't fixed. He gets worse. He grows more violent, more wrathful, more vengeful. He kills and destroys everything around him whenever he feels the slightest bit threatened or insulted.

And if we apply that to show Aemond? Well... yea makes sense. Alys would just be another substitute. He can siphon what he wants as long as he has power. He can let you get close as long as you never threaten him, as long as he never starts to feel like he might be vunerable in the relationship.

As I said - I never said Aemond can't form connections. He can and he does. I said those connections wouldn't be stable. Put it this way, Alicent is Aemond's greatest vunerablity. And he treats her like shit now that she has turned away from him.

How could a man who has never been shown unconditional love? Ever express that? I don't think I'm being black and white. I think it's actually more black and white to interpret what Ewan said as equalling Aemond is easily fixed with love. Because it's not what he said. He said he is BEATEN by it.

And what does Aemond not want? To be beaten. He doesn't want to feel vunerable or weak. So why would he lean into that if he feels he is going to be beaten? And why would he distance himself from Alicent to the point of stripping her from her only power - if it wasn't for the fact that his love for her makes him feel vunerable?

It's black and white to think Aemond is uncomplicated enough that he would just change his entire way of being for love.

He wouldn't. Love threatens him. It beats him.

And the only way to negate any of that would be to basically give in to whatever he wanted, whenever he wants. To have no power, never complain if he mistreated you or others etc.

Again, S1 proves that even with the stablity of his family - he still lashes out towards others. You're forgetting that Aemond wasn't just hurt by Alicent. He was hurt by HIS ENTIRE FAMILY. His brother, his nephews, his cousins, his half-sister, his father. They all neglected him/bullied him etc. This man would not trust anyone lmao. And he literally doesn't we see that time and time again.

Alicent was the only one who ever stood up for him. He is attached to her.

And Helaena too, Helaena has likely never questioned him before or made him feel bad. They share an affinity for being the outsiders so she has only ever made him feel comforted most likely.

It's not until Alicent and Helaena turn away from him - that he fucken loses it on them. Okay Alicent was rightfully upset with Aemond in episode 1 of s2 for killing Luke and he has been hating on her ever since?

Aemond literally assaults Helaena when she refuses the idea that she would help him kill people.

Yea, you could get "close" to him - but my whole post was that being close to him wouldn't be you were exempt from his abuse. And any love/care he feels for you wouldn't be something he LEANS into unconditionally. Because his ego/his wounds are bigger than just that. It's not black and white to see that.... any connection with him would be dysfunctional.

I explicitly stated he is absolutely capable of love and care and connection. But my whole post was about the fact... it would be a nightmare and wouldn't be how you think of love/care/connection. We are talking about a man who has more power then like... well, in a sense he's the equivalent to a billionaire with a nuke - who also rules the world. Oh and also he has been abused and traumatised.

There is a zero percent chance he would form healthy attachments/connections.

[nightmare-foundation]

Ooo yea. WFA Dick & comic Dick meeting would be fun.

It would!! I imagine it'd honestly be a bit of a crisis inducing event on both sides tbh. Comic Dick being a traumatized wreck with an insanely dysfunctional, almost toxic, family and WFA Dick being at least mostly put together (even if he struggles with boundaries) with a healthy, happy family.

I have my own interpretation of comic Dick and how he'd react to WFA Dick, and vice versa, so I'm sure there's a lot of things you could argue happening. I personally like to actually address trauma lol, so I can only imagine how little trust comic Dick would have with the WFA family, how jumpy he'd be, etc.

Seeing comic Dick act so unlike their own Dick would definitely throw the WFA family for a loop I think, especially WFA Dick. Comic Dick prefers his alone time, and that alone would make everyone go ??? Cause THEIR Dick isn't like that lol. And comic Dick being so clearly deeply traumatized in a different way from WFA Dick would be especially worrying.

WFA Dick would just really really want to wrap his (surprisingly grumpy) counterpart in bubblewrap and might possibly debate committing murder. The rest of the WFA family is on board with this lol

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Would you be willing to do a platonic jinx and silco with a autistic fem reader? Has trouble with communucation and socialization, a bit clumsy, but is otherwise very loyal and sweet to them both and one of the few people who not only can keep up with jinx intelligence wise but actually understand her. Silco and jinx one day overhear one of silco's goon straight up call her an "idiot freak" or something really horrible not knowing she's more than just that kid that hangs around jinx all the time but is pretty much family.

(hello! I however, do not write autistic readers because I do not have autism or know anyone who does and I don't want to be insensitive for anything about that so I cannot do that so sorry. But anyways, enjoy!)

Little Dysfunctional Family

Jinx

Jinx was ways happy to have you

Even if you had your quirks

She wasn't always the best with communication either

She was also accident prone, now and then when she was a certain someone

She didn't like socializing, she hated it

She didn't like being around fake ass goons who thought kissing up to her would get them on Silcos good side

It got tiring

So, having you, and knowing your love and being with her was genuine??

Made everything else matter absolutely jack shit

She treats you like a sibling, maybe if your younger, like a little kid sibling she never had

She will be very protective and loving

She doesn't want anything to happen to you

Or for anything, or anyone to take you away

She doesn't think she can handle that

So she does whatever it means to keep you happy and very loved

As long as you love her the same

It's a great deal, really

She is very happy you're able to connect with her on so many different levels

Especially when you help her when she has freak outs

You understand why she has them, and how she is the way she is

But you never judged her about it

Or really questioned it, you were just you, and you were there for her

And she will always love you for that

And that you're able to keep up with her highly energetic ways is amazing

And how you can make gadgets and go on and on for hours on end with her

She loves

She never had someone like that before, so now that she does

She doesn't wanna let it go and doesn't want anything to change

So to hear someone talk shit about you??

You??

The amazing one, her fucking sibling, like they're nothing??

Oh boy

When Jinx is mad, she is mad

There are no limits

She will do whatever the hell she pleases to them

She'll toy with them for a little tho lmao

She'll be asking

"Why do ya think that?? Wow, what else do you think?"

Acting coy, a fake pleasant and charming smile on her face while she is seething inside

Then she'll just bust out

"Well, funny you say that about, y'know, my best friend."

She'd be giggling while the goon is terrified

Everybody knows

don't fuck with Jinx

She's a firecracker is under the protection and love of the Eye of Zaun

So, safe to say

That goon is GONE

never to be seen again

Oh well, cuts your losses

Jinx will then rant to you about it and be telling you how wrong the goon is

She'll also probably tell you bits of what he said, and make it out like he tried attacking her to justify what she did

But it's okay!

Who can be mad at this amazing girl?

Silco

He is the Eye of Zaun, man

He may not show it or say it very often, but he cares deeply about you and Jinx

He's had you guys for so long, he forgot what it was like without you both

He didn't care that you didn't very function well with socializing and communicating

To him, you were perfect

Because you were you

He wasn't good with that stuff either, like Jinx

That's what makes you all an amazing little family

A family that protects one another from anything

You all were basically molded with the same skills, some lacking in some departments, but we'll enough to appreciate one another

Even if it's not said every day

You knew it, Jinx knew it, and so did Silco

So, he wants to keep you and Jinx happy

He wants you guys to be taken care of

He also appreciated that you can connect with Jinx on a level he can not

Intelligence wise and her personality in general

Not many can keep up with the blue haired wonder

So, it's very much appreciated that you keep her alive while also indulging in her activities

He will not let anyone talk shit about you

Did you see how he acted when Sevika tried to call Jinx a problem??

Well, he'd act sorta like that

If the goon kept going on about you and saying shit

He's be silently pissed as they keep running their fucking mouth

If they even get the chance

He may not kill them per se

But they will be traumatized, no doubt

If they go far enough, he'd probably send Sevika on their ass

He would not stand for it

He would also, probably call them into his office and play a physiological game

He'd threaten them no doubt

And you and Jinx are giggling up in the rafters having the time of your lives watching this absolute jackass almost piss himself

Anyway, Silco would not let any asshole try and run all over you

He taught you better than to let that happen

He also will take care of it for you

It's his way of showing fatherly love

It's not perfect, but it's the way that he knows he can show it without screwing up

[pupyr0arz]

My opinions on every COD ship I know of, ghost edition. This is with 0 regards on it happening even remotely realistically. Literally just every possible ghost ship. Every character I remember off the top of my head, will add more if mentioned.

priceghost: hot. Also very comfy. Ghost is devoted to price deeply and they don’t have a sub/dom relationship or even a defined top. It’s very comfortable and steady and I feel like they wind down with sex a lot. I can see this being casual while other relationships are ongoing. Age difference kink (ghost will never admit this to anyone.) 8/10

Soapghost: beautiful obviously. 10/10

ghostgaz: I see so little content of this and for what. Firstborn vs favorite child. They’d be such a silly couple. I feel like their relationship would initially have a lot of clashing bc of competitiveness and completely different styles before it settles. 7/10

Ghostroach: THEEEE ship for me. I’m obsessed with this. Freak/freak t4t to me. They’re stealing candy from the dollar store and fucking in the parking lot. Soulmates, destined to die together no matter what. I’ve talked about the vibes here earlier. 9999999999999/10

konigghost: it’s a funny crack ship. I get the annoyance response of some of the two most popular characters for sex reasons getting shipped together but I think they’d be awful (funny) together. König has a massive ego and enjoys attempting to emasculate ghost who does not let that slide. They try to kill each other regularly. 3/10

ghostgraves: toxic ex vibes. Graves had his sexual awakening with him and neither of them dealt with that baggage. Both of them would hit it again but refuses to acknowledge that. Constant sniping at each other from morning to night. Graves still thinks ghost is creepy but it’s kind of hot. 6/10

Ghostalejandro: alejandro enjoys ticking ghost off, ghost has no idea how he tolerates this guy. Initially a one night thing that Alejandro managed to extend and neither of them want to cut it off. 5/10

ghostrudy: ghost got into this relationship initially seeking some short lived normality and out of nostalgia until he realized the Horrors. They’re married now and have a house neither of them live in and both of them complain about this. 5/10

Ghostnikto: ghost when the real insane bitches show up 🧍‍♂️/j but seriously extremely dysfunctional. It’s like putting two snakes in the same box they’ll eat each other eventually. 5/10

ghostlaswell: service top. 4/10

ghostshepard: no way this is not awful. Ghost probably has issues from this. 6/10

ghost(09)/ghost(22): hear me out. 8/10

[licncourt]

I think Lestat's love language and the way he interacts with his partners (Louis mainly) is very different in the show. He is too open and direct about his feelings and demands love from Louis, but in the book Lestat has a closed personality despite being extroverted and he doesn't talk about his deepest feelings, except in the books he writes. What do you think about this? Do you prefer Lestat being more romantic from the beginning? Or do you prefer Lestat who, due to his trauma, always tried to hide his feelings?

Disclaimer and reminder that I really don't like what the show did with Lestat/his dynamic with Louis in general, but I definitely have opinions about that.

The tl;dr of my take on this is that IWTV-era book Lestat at his most fundamental is a loving, well-intentioned, even kind person who puts on a front of cruelty and callousness to protect himself. Show Lestat seems like a controlling, calculated, abusive person who pretends to be kind, loving, and understanding to get what he wants, which is much less sympathetic to me.

In the book, you don't feel like Louis was manipulated into becoming Lestat's partner. Lestat was a dickhead right out of the gate, there was no lovebombing or months of intense romancing and wooing. In the book, it's very sudden and immediately a toxic dynamic that they both contribute to. It's super dysfunctional and Lestat is emotionally abusive sometimes, but there was no fronting. If anything, he represented himself much worse than he actually is.

Book Lestat is also all bark and no bite when it comes to Louis, so the cutting comments don't feel as gross as show Lestat's do knowing what happens in the fifth episode. Even after Louis lights him on fire and leaves him for dead in a swamp, Lestat came back to talk, not to attack him. That demonstrates his true intentions pretty clearly imo.

Show Lestat, for all his openly affectionate behavior in the beginning, flew into a violent, homicidal rage just over being dumped. It doesn't feel like he loves Louis as much as he wants to own him, so the past romance rings hollow. It feels like textbook abuse tactics rather than a deeply traumatized twenty-one year old handling his feelings in an abysmally awful way, and the latter is what makes me root for him as a character.

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

i'm sure One Million Kazillion people have asked you this but if not Perpep for the ask game?

Just one more! This is specifically for Beforan Perpep. Not Bard's Collage or Alternia. Perpep

favorite thing about them Playing her is so fun. She's just a little guy. She is just a little guy, yknow? I also love how she talks. Its not the best transcribed on my part but its just cute. Her intonation is cute.

least favorite thing about them Probably just my... like. Inability to keep up with her timescale... I decided all my ocs have some time distortion shit going on with them because of my executive dysfunction. There are. several things in her drafts that are there because i wanted to draw a picture for it and never did. There are... so many...

favorite line Ok so if youve been here for a while, she once was really mad at Raveri, the other Raveri, and wrote a whole rant about him. That was funny I liked that. I also liked the time she was talking about the horrorterrors and drew one of them with her text.

brOTP Uhhhhhh I still dont really get this im ngl. An otp but platonic, so either a qppr or like... just being good friends? buddies? Well that'd've probably also been old Raveri. They were sopor chess buddies. They did sopor slime and played chess.

OTP Uh... Hm... Yknow, again, I don't really ship Perpep. I guess her alt!self Oftcas has an 'otp' with (B!)Detheo. Their wierd fuckin biuniversal asses. Postgame she has a pitch thing going on with Somati, but her whole situation makes it kind of... I think her intimacy is pretty heavily wounded. Yknow... from being a human pet. Being without a relationship after so long of it being the default is hard though. Something that happens during the game that makes this part easier, but she does feel it really intensely. It's why she gets with Somati actually. Its technically pitch and she thinks of it that way even if it resembles a pale relationship a little more because of how Perpep is. It's not entirely NOT pale on somati's part, but it is pitch. Not the angry kind of pitch though, the like... theyre two individually really chill people who start fucking with shit to compete when theyre together. Mentos and coke ship.

nOTP Shrugs. You'd probably think I'd say Perpep and her culler, but thats narratively interesting to me. Uhhh I guess she would be really bad with Alpha Detheo. Like they wouldn't mix at all and their preconceptions about the other would clash so bad i think they might just kind of avoid eachother a little bit. Curiosity on both sides, with fear twinging Perpep's and logical guilt on Detheo's. Logical guilt being like... not guilt guilt but like. Ah a version of me hurt this person in a very sick way. This has added a level of morality to my self image that is troubling and I will have to consider deeply what went wrong in my other life to ensure something like that does not happen in this one. Also I should stay away from Perpep because she definitely doesn't want any more Detheo in her life. (Not entirely wrong on that last count but not right either)

random headcanon Perpep is the cuddliest motherfucker on the planet. During her session, about from the Entering when she loses track of Cinimon to her death during the Among Us conference between her, Miyers, Respit, and Sphinx, she's really fucking nervous and crabby because of touch starvation. Thats actually part of why she throws so much shade during that little meeting. She's not got a lot of emotional skill, so when she feels negatively, those emotions leech into her other emotions like dye in water. She has a hard time distinguishing between different stressors almost. Like if her emotional state was a body, and her stress was caused by a horsefly biting her on one side, she would project the same anger in every direction. She's new to this, yk.

unpopular opinion uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh My unpopular opinion is you should go on her blog and look at the posts under #captures and appreciate those drawings :-)

song i associate with them Ohoho. Hold on let me get the Perpeplaylist Taroko by August Greenwood Death by Melanie Martinez New Normal by Jack Stauber Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown I Can Talk by Two Door Cinema Club Otherside by the Red Hot Chilipeppers Sports by Beach Bunny (Voiceclaim also) Wreckingball specifically the cover by The Orion Experience In that order. LMK if you have any guesses on how her timeline fits to those. I feel like its pretty obvious but I am also the writer so yk.

favorite picture of them

This is stil the funniest thing ive ever drawn i think. She flashbanged herself poor fishie.

This one which is still way detailed. Im kinda sad no one ever asked about the collar, to get a closer look at the picture, the bullet, the rook, the tiny grub hons, the necklaces, the bident, or . any of that. I also planned to have it be more obvious that those are *somati's* clothes. If you look in captures you'll see his dad's dead body. Thats where she got the sgrub disks. College and Exec disorder got in the way of the pictures of Snapdad i planned for Somati to post... I might end up redoing that though. Shrug.

And obviously this picture from her postgame band on Continua. LOOK At her. she is such a sweetie.