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#ask parker and crew
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The movie
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leveragedlibrarians · 7 months
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Alright I have now actually been working in a bank for a while and I gotta say,,,,,, it kiiiiiinda takes the drama out of Leverage.
Like. Do you know how easy it would be to rob us? Currently the only alarm that requires a code has been permanently disabled for over a month due to construction on the upper floors. The key cards that let you access the vault are given to the tellers- aka the college kids who let just about anyone in if they ask. Hell, I've given spare keycards to employees I didn't even recognise because I'm bad with faces and didn't want to be rude, they were wearing the company color so I just said sure here you go. There's just physical keys lying around everywhere. We also technically have a vault inside the vault that only head tellers can access, but I have never seen it closed.
Like. Robbing us wouldn't take an episode, it wouldn't even take a whole scene. Parker would be downright offended if she came to rob us. She wouldn't even have to crawl through any air vents, pick any locks, anything- literally just wear blue and ask politely to be let into the vault.
We would disappoint Parker so bad
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algoreithms · 2 months
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Would you be up for drawing some Parker/Ash shenanigans? I just love their dynamic even tho we see so little of it (the dynamic being Parker hating Ash’s guts and rightfully antagonizing him whenever the chance pops up)
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parker is a grade A hater
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firewasabeast · 1 month
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gimme buck and tommy meeting during a call and getting the chance to squeeze in a lil bantering and a goodbye smooch. i need it like i need air
“Well, fancy seeing you here.”
Buck turned around at the familiar voice, eyebrows furrowed in confusion even as the smile grew on his face. “Wha- I thought you were in the chopper?”
Tommy shook his head. “Parker's up there today. I may have asked if I could work ground ops when I heard the 118 was responding to the call too.”
It was a pretty intense fire that started on the roof of an apartment complex. With the wind, and the closeness of nearby buildings, there was worry it would spread fast if not quickly contained.
Thankfully, everything went smoothly. The building had been cleared and the fire was out. The crews from each department were now working on getting all their gear back in order so they could leave.
A blush rose on Buck's cheeks. “And why would you do that?”
“Oh, you know,” Tommy took a step closer to Buck, “I haven't seen Howie in a few weeks so I thought I'd catch u-”
Buck reached out and gave Tommy a playful push before he could finish the sentence. “Asshole,” he muttered.
Tommy laughed, face scrunching up tight. God, Buck loved that face.
“I wanted to see you, Evan,” he admitted. “It's been almost two weeks of opposite schedules. I'm about to file a report accusing the LAFD of being homophobic for keeping us apart.”
“I'd sign my name to it,” Buck agreed.
“So, not an overreaction?”
Buck moved even closer to Tommy. “If anything we should be doing more.”
Tommy's eyes moved to Buck's lips. “Anything specific in mind?”
“Guys, I'm seriously so close to throwing up,” Chimney interrupted, carrying the ax back to the truck. “Get a room.”
“In fifteen hours we will be in a room!” Buck yelled out to him, then quietly added for only Tommy to hear, “And we will not be leaving the room for forty-eight hours.”
Tommy smirked. “What if we get hungry?”
“Our lube is edible.”
“You know, Athena and I have made out between a firetruck or two,” Bobby mentioned as he passed by, patting Buck on the shoulder. “We leave in five.”
Years ago, Bobby would have been trying to steer Buck away from inappropriate workplace behavior, and maybe he still should be, but Buck had spent his last couple shifts becoming increasingly pouty. Plus, Tommy wasn't a one night- or, better yet, a one shift- stand. They were coming up on eight months together and apparently still couldn't get enough of each other.
Tommy would have laughed at the shocked look on Evan's face, but the go ahead from Bobby was all that he needed to be grabbing Evan's hand and leading him to a space between a fire truck and an ambulance. Tommy pushed him against the ambulance, brought his hands to Buck's waist, and practically smashed their lips together. Buck moaned, happily surprised as Tommy's tongue licked into his mouth. He wrapped his arms around Tommy's shoulders, bringing him closer.
“Where were you?” Buck asked when they pulled apart for air.
“West stairwell. You?” Tommy kissed him again before he could give an answer.
“East, mmm, east stairwell,” he gasped, Tommy working his way down Buck's jaw to his neck. “God, Tommy. We just m- missed each other.”
“Hmm,” Tommy hummed against the top of his collarbone, the vibrations giving Buck chills. He had never even felt Tommy undo his turnout jacket for better access. “Seems like we did that for quite a few years.”
Tommy knew how Buck felt about all their missed connections. He'd spent so much time going over all the events throughout the years where they could have or should have met, or almost did meet. While Buck did get bummed that they didn't know each other all those years ago, the fact that they finally did meet at what seemed to be the perfect time for them both was one of his biggest turn ons.
He reached up and got ahold of Tommy's face, bringing him back to his lips. “I love you... so much,” he mumbled out between kisses.
“I love... you more.”
“Amazing what you can see when you've got a bird's eye view,” a voice rang out over the radio. Tommy pulled back from their kiss, and they both looked up at the chopper hovering above them, giving a wave. “Parker will never let me hear the end of this,” Tommy laughed out.
Buck rolled his eyes playfully, then pressed the button on his radio. “I'm sure it's beautiful. I hope you took pictures.”
A few seconds passed before Parker got back on the radio. “Oh, don't you worry about that,” he said, laughter evident in his voice. The helicopter began to move away from above them. “Pilot Parker heading back to Harbor Station.”
Buck was starting to lean back in when the radio came to life again.
“Captain Nash to Buckley, we're heading out in one minute. I repeat, heading out in one minute.”
“Got it, Cap,” Buck answered. “On my way.”
Tommy sighed, gazing deeply into Evan's eyes. “I'll see you soon, okay? Be safe.”
“Fifteen hours?”
Tommy ran his hands up and down Evan's waist, pressing a final kiss to his lips before they had to part ways. “Fifteen hours.”
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Leverage 2x12 - "The Zanzibar Marketplace Job"
[ID: A Leverage gifset. Sterling walks into the bar that the crew is in, and and Nate briefly looks up to meet his eyes before saying, “Eliot, I’m gonna ask you not to do anything violent.” Eliot frowns, “What? What are you talking about? I only use violence as an appropriate response.” Sterling is revealed standing behind Eliot.
Sterling smiles and says, “Hello, Nate,” and Eliot’s expression freezes before slowly gaining intensity. Eliot shoots out of his seat and delivers a strong right hook to Sterling’s cheek.
Eliot looks furious, and the camera freezes over Sterling’s shocked face before swiveling to Parker and Hardison standing at the bar. The bartender starts to move away, but Hardison hands him a wad of dollar bills and shakes his head. The camera stays on Parker and Hardison, who smile with clear amusement and appreciation. End ID]
ID courtesy of @princess-of-purple-prose
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kidney9-9 · 9 months
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Lesson Learned - Peter Parker
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@hollandlover19 asked:
So idk if I’m being annoying with all my requests and if I am I’m really sorry but could you write something about Peter and the reader are both avengers and y/n is Tony’s daughter and they’ve been quarantining at the compound and every time they try to have sex they get interrupted by ether Sam or Bucky and they’ve noticed that they’re always interrupting them at the worst times so Sam and Bucky make a game out of it just to piss peter off by trying to see how many times they can ruin the mood and so far it’s been two months also Peter and the reader are both 18🖤🖤🖤
Hi Natalie, sorry it's so late haha! I hope you enjoy, thank you for sending this in :) I enjoyed writing this! It was so much fun. Steve is in this too! Peter Parker x Stark!Reader [Smut with Fluff and Angst, Happy ending] Warnings: Cursing, smut, creampie, exhibitionist kink, hand job, mention of threesome and foursome, threats, tiny part about sickness, Peter being feral/creepy, small mention of stalking, and betting money Word Count: 8k
-
When the Avengers crew got hit with a contagious and possibly dangerous virus, you were all ordered to stay at the compound for quarantine until it was completely out of everyone’s system. Unfortunately, it seemed that the virus stayed around in the body for usually about three months. You were glad you had your boyfriend, dad, and friends there though.
It seemed somewhat like a weird staycation, except sometimes you woke up with a fever and a stuffy nose and some days you felt completely normal. The only one that had the worst case out of all of you was Bruce, which was strange for him. He normally didn’t get sick easily, but somehow the virus really got to him. He practically stayed in his lab all the time, trying to find different treatments for his sore throat and stuffy nose.
Today, you had absolutely nothing to do, and so did Peter, so you both had planned on having a fun sexy day without your dad and coworkers finding out. You two were sitting in one of the indoor hot tubs, making out with each other heavily.
“Fuck, rub up on me just like that and I’ll be fucking you against the pool tile.” Peter groaned into your ear as you dropped your head down to his neck, sucking and licking at his sweet spots while pushing your hips down on his. The hot tub was bubbling and pretty hot, but it didn’t stop you two from getting it on.
“Do it, baby, want you in me.” You panted back, rubbing and grinding your clothed pussy against his hard on. He had taken off his shorts a few minutes ago after whining about how tight it was in his swimsuit.
“Uh, fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.” He responded, putting a hand in your hair, and guiding you back to his lips. You opened your mouth and kissed him, groping his tongue with yours, memorizing his mouth.
His other hand had been tugging at your bikini top, undoing it after a few moments of struggle. You two parted just for a second to get the top off of you and he switched spots with you, pushing you up against the tile and humping up against your pussy.
“Take off my – ah, fuck,” You gasped loudly, head falling back as he started to pinch one nipple and kiss and suck on the other harshly.
He understood what you were trying to say, so he tugged on your bikini bottoms and pulled down until they reached your knees and you kicked them off, letting them float in the hot tub.
“Want me to fuck you right here, huh?” He grunted as he pulled away from your breasts. You nodded, panting back.
“Need you now, Peter, please. Want you in me right now.” You begged, pushing your hips back up to his. You could feel his dick press up against your labia, rubbing up on your clit, causing you to have a high-pitched moan.
Right when he started to push into you, the door opened on the other side of the room. Thankfully, the hot tub was steaming, and you practically pushed Peter to the other side of the hot tub and dived underwater, so whoever it was, wouldn’t see what was happening.
“Ah, uh, hello?” Peter called out in rushed pants, trying to calm himself down. He grabbed his swim shorts that were on the pool tile and quickly pulled them on as he heard two different footsteps coming your way.
“Oh hey, Pete! You here by yourself?” Sam called out, gazing around the room, not noticing anything off. Bucky though, narrowed his eyes at the hot tub, looking at the blurry shape under the water.
“Uh, well you know,” Peter tried to stumble through some words, but you popped right out of the water, smiling nervously at the two men.
“Hey guys!” You greeted them.
“What were you doing under the water?” Bucky instantly questioned. You and Peter glanced at each other for a moment, his blush worsening, but you played it off cool.
“Holding my breath, wanted to beat my score from last time.” You explained, running a hand through your hair.
He raised an eyebrow at you, “Yeah? What was the time?” Sam looked over to Bucky, wondering why he was being so curious right now, but started to take off his shirt to get into the pool right next to the hot tub.
“Two minutes and fourteen seconds right now. Should get it higher though, just in case.” You shrugged back. Peter nodded along frantically, still trying to calm himself down.
“Huh, okay, keep up the good work, kid.” Bucky responded, still narrowing his eyes at Peter and you. After a few minutes of chatting, you excused yourself to go to your room while Peter stayed and talked to Sam and Bucky while they swam in the pool.
Peter had to wait until they left, since his boner wouldn’t go down and he really didn’t want them to see that.
He rushed to your room, and you opened it instantly after he knocked. His face was red as he walked into your room, and you shut it.
“That was too close, oh gosh, I feel so embarrassed!” Peter cried out and pressed his hands into his face. You fell back onto your bed, agreeing with him.
“Yeah! Why the fuck was Bucky questioning me like that? He usually is so calm and chill to be around.” You groaned back.
Peter’s shoulders raised up, “He knew. He totally knew, right?” He whispered to you, eyes wide.
You cough in surprise, “Woah, okay, no way. He’s an old ass man, he wouldn’t know what sex is anymore.”
Peter snorted in amusement, “He listens to erotica audio books during his stealth missions, I’m pretty sure he knows more about sex than us.”
You look at Peter with a confused expression, “Why do you know he does that?”
He looked embarrassed as he answered, “I wanted to watch his mission one time, since he’s so cool… He didn’t realize I was listening to the comms, so he put it on.”
You clutched your stomach as you started laughing hard, “Oh shit! Wonder if Sam and Steve know!”
-
The next time you guys were caught, Peter’s hand was up your shirt, clutching one of your breasts as you moaned into his neck. You guys were in the little movie theater your dad built on as entertainment. You two were thankfully, covered by a blanket.
“Baby, I wanna taste you so bad right now, bet you’d taste delicious.” Peter groaned and you nodded back, tugging him back up for a wet kiss.
“Do it, Peter, lick me.” You whimpered back, pulling away from the heavy kiss. Just as he was unbuttoning your pants, Sam walked into the room with a container of popcorn and a drink.
The lights were low, but you and Peter knew he could tell instantly what was happening. Peter pulled away as Sam laughed awkwardly, “Wow, getting freaky in the theater? I used to do that too with my girlfriend when I was younger.”
Peter’s blush was heavy as he denied it, “Uh no! I was just adjusting the blanket, she’s cold.”
“Yea, I’m pretty cold right now.” You faked a shiver and Sam shook his head dismissively.
“Nah guys, trust me, I get it. But I did text the group chat earlier today that I was hosting a Star Wars marathon at this time. I was just putting some snacks in the room. Pretty sure Bucky, Steve, and Clint were joining me. Do you guys want to stay?” He offered, thankfully looking past the fact you and Peter were just about to hook up in the room.
You didn’t feel like watching Star Wars since you were still feeling pretty affected by what you guys were doing, but you knew Peter was going to be up for it. He looked at you, as if silently asking if it were okay for him to stay and watch the movies and you smiled and nodded back to him.
“Yeah! I love Star Wars so much. How are you starting it? Originals first? Prequels?” Peter cheered himself up and his blush went down as him, and Sam started talking.
You left the room with a wave and a smile, and you went to your room and took care of yourself with a toy there. Wasn’t the best, but it did help a bit.
-
The next day, Sam was making his breakfast, and Bucky walked in. He muttered a good morning to Sam, and Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise as he remembered what happened yesterday.
“Dude, remember when you told me Peter and Y/n were about to fuck in the hot tub that one time?” Sam brought up, spreading butter on his toast. He grabbed a mug and poured some coffee into his cup, glancing at Bucky.
“Yeah? You still don’t believe me? I practically could smell it in the air.” Bucky scrunched his nose up, recalling the day.
“Well, I caught them in the act yesterday in the theater. It’s a bit surprising, isn’t it? Since Tony is here too, like wouldn’t they be extra cautious not to get caught so easily? I would hate to get caught by my parent.” Sam shuddered.
“They seriously did that… after we caught them the last time? Didn’t expect that of Peter. He seemed like a pretty timid guy.” Bucky shook his head, sighed, and opened the fridge up.
“They’re going to do it again. One of them must have some fucking kink for this shit – or maybe both of them. It’s so funny too, looking at Peter just confirms it. His face is all red and he has this dazed look. And Y/n, well, she’s a pro, can’t tell at all.” Sam laughed.
“Yeah, that’s what happens when the girls gang up every Tuesday for girls’ night. Natasha’s probably been teaching her some spy techniques and Wanda helps her with her expressions for sure.” Bucky threw a guess out there.
Sam laughed harder, “We should probably teach Peter how to hide it better.”
Bucky shook his head immediately, “No, fuck that. We’re going to screw around with them even more. Every single day let’s search for them when we know they’re together. I can guarantee you they’re probably hooking up. Peter should learn that way.”
Sam whistled low, “You’re cold hearted, man. But agreed, I just want to see Peter get embarrassed and flustered again, he looks like a scared little puppy.”
Bucky grinned, “And by the time we’ll end this thing, he’ll be better at acting, then he could get promoted. He’ll thank us for this.” He grabbed a drink from the fridge, opened it and watched as Sam took a bite of his toast.
“Right, well I’m free most of the time, unless I’m doing my running. You know my schedule though.” Sam responded, and Bucky nodded back in agreement.
“I’ll text you when we could start today.” Bucky replied.
-
Peter wrapped his arms around you from behind, grinning as you turned your head and kissed his cheek. “How’s my baby doing?” He asked, whispering into your ear. You spun around in his arms and kissed him deeply, causing him to pull away for a moment with a dazed look on his face.
“Woah.” He breathed out, “What was that for?”
You smiled sexily at him, “Well,” You tilted your head and pressed up against him, “We didn’t get to finish our session yesterday, right? How about right now we finish it?” You asked, pressing kisses up and down his neck.
He sighed heavily, knees feeling weak at your touch, “Yes, yes, we will finish it right now. Can’t go without you and your pussy for more than a day.”
“Good, so come on, let’s go up to the sun deck, it’s too stuffy in here.” You winked at him and pulled away after patting his shoulder.
He groaned and chased after you as you started to run to the elevator. “No fair! Wait up for me!” He shouted after you and you laughed back.
As you got up there, you quickly pulled your shirt off, throwing it at Peter, who caught it with his reflexes kicking in. You ran towards one of the sun beds, and sat down, taking your shoes off.
“Wait, wait, out in the open like this, is it okay?” Peter asked, breathing heavily. You nodded and shrugged back.
“Come on, the only person who comes up here is Thor, and Thor didn’t get affected by the virus. Didn’t even carry it. So, he’s off doing that gaming tournament, remember?” You responded back, lifting your hand and pulling Peter to sit next to you.
“Oh right, damn, I wanted to join him. He’s gotten good at that new game, they even made a character for him.” Peter oohed back to you. He pressed his hand to your back, sliding up and down as he scooted closer to you.
“Mhm, now enough about Thor and more kissing.” You giggled, and Peter agreed, pressing a kiss to your lips, then another and another, until you were both starting to pant and lay back against the sun bed.
“Fuck,” He breathed out, pushing his hand down your pants and cupping your pussy, “You’re not wearing panties.”
You pressed up into him as he slipped a finger into your vagina, starting to push in and out. “Oh Peter, more please.”
He pressed his thumb to your clit, rubbing it in circles as he slipped another finger in, curling it to hit your g-spot. “Ah fuck! Fuck, more, more!” You cried out and he dipped down and kissed your lips.
The next thing Peter heard though, was the door opening up, and he pulled away from you and practically jumped into the other chair next to you. You were panting and glaring at him for pulling away just as you were building up your orgasm, but he put his hand to his lips, pressing his finger up as a shushing motion and your eyes widened as you realized someone came up here.
You quieted yourself down and adjusted your outfit, and pressed back into the chair as if you were just resting.
Sam and Bucky rounded the corner and waved at you guys. “Oh, hey guys!” Sam spoke up in a cheerful voice.
You faked a smile back and responded, “Hi Sam! How are you today? Hey Bucky! Did you see that you got those packages in the mail this morning?”
Peter, however, was a mess. He was licking his hand clean of your slick, burning red and lips puffy from kissing you so much. You didn’t dare look at him, knowing he would blush even harder if he looked at your face.
Sam snorted quietly at Peter, he thought he looked like a dork, and wow was he really licking his fingers? It was too funny for him. “I’m doing pretty well actually. Just wanted to feel the sun today. Guess we all had the same idea?”
Bucky crossed his arms and watched Peter with a hard expression. “Peter. What are you licking?”
Peter gaped at him and then at his fingers. Fuck. “Well – I uh, I was sweating a bit too much?”
You were mortified at the lie, you wanted to laugh so bad, and wow Peter really didn’t know how to lie right.
Sam looked like he was about to burst out laughing. “Yeah? Maybe you should get checked up on that, especially since we’re quarantined for a virus right now.”
Peter nodded vigorously, “Yes. That. I’ll do that.”
“Did you not brush your hair today? It’s so messy… almost like sex hair. Huh.” Bucky spoke up again, glaring at Peter and you rolled your eyes at his words. So nosy!
“Wow Bucky! I didn’t know you were into my boyfriend like that. Maybe we can arrange something together, especially since you love reading erotica during your stealth missions, huh?” You copied his tone and glared right back at him. You didn’t want him verbally attacking your boyfriend.
Sam barked in surprised laughter, “Erotica? I told you I could set you up with one of my friends!” He was staring at Bucky in a new light.
Peter huffed out a breath of relief for getting the attention off him, he was thankful for you stepping up like that.
Bucky raised an eyebrow at you, “As much as I appreciate your offer, doll, I don’t think your dad and boyfriend would like that very much.”
You just smirked back at him and laid back down, staring straight up. “Yeah, I understand, you’re too nervous to actually fuck, you can go back to your erotica, it’s okay!”
Peter made a noise next to you, practically freaking out that you were jeering at Bucky and calling him pussy for not wanting to have sex with you and himself (Peter). The thought was very much welcomed. He told you how attractive he thought Bucky was and you agreed with him, but he never expected you to voice anything like that to Bucky. Even Sam was attractive to Peter, they were like mac and cheese or a two for one deal.
Sam was having a blast, hearing this and watching this happen. On one side, Peter was freaking out for being caught, and then Bucky started practically interrogating him – and then you were taunting Bucky! Wow, this was fun.
But then your eyes turned to him, “Hmm, you can join in too Sammy, you don’t have to feel so lonely, especially since none of your friends can come over right now.”
Oh, shit, Sam thought, and laughed even harder. He loved your humor.
Bucky though, was exasperated with your words. You were a Stark! Of course, you’d invite him and Sam into a sexcapade with Peter. He hoped Peter was learning how to play cool though, so he could get better at his job. He wondered briefly how you guys knew about his erotica audiobooks though.
“Whatever, I’ve had enough sun now. Think I’ll head back inside.” He excused himself and gazed over at Sam, who was still laughing.
“Yeah, yeah, bye guys! Wrap it before you pound it, Peter!” Sam chortled out another laugh and followed Bucky to the door.
You turned to Peter and sighed, “We didn’t finish again.” You pouted and Peter pressed his head into his hands.
“Next time, there’s always next time.” He promised you.
-
Turns out, there is no next time when Sam and Bucky were always around! Peter was so pissed off. He just wanted to be with you and have sex with you, but nope! Even in your room, they’d show up and knock and ask if you guys wanted to do something.
A whole two weeks have gone by, and Peter hasn’t been able to fuck you at all. Just a peck before Sam or Bucky or together they’d show up, grinning like mad men.
You were irritated too, but your irritation was more with Peter because he had no clue how to act in front of them whenever they showed up, so you were now initializing sex with him a lot less than normal. You even started hanging out with your dad and Wanda more than with him.
He felt so frustrated. He even asked if you guys could do phone sex, and you shook your head at him and say it wasn’t worth it and you could go do some other things that would be better to waste the time.
He was so close to his limit of blowing up and yelling at Sam and Bucky, but that would attract the attention from your dad, Tony, and wow, Peter did not want to explain why he was yelling at those two to Tony, his boss aka your dad.
He could even picture Tony kicking his ass into the next century by just saying those words to him. He was so protective of you, which was kind of adorable but not when Peter was just a guy who wanted to be with his girlfriend.
-
“Peter’s still not learning how to tone down his facial expressions. He can’t even lie that well.” Sam sighed to Bucky, sitting down as they put on a movie. Steve looked at the two of them in interest, wondering what they were talking about.
Bucky glanced over to Steve and grinned, “We’ve been catching Peter and Y/n whenever they try to have sex. We’re the cockblocker Avengers.”
Steve looked horrified, “Guys, what? Does Tony know this?”
Sam widened his eyes and shook his head, “Nope, fuck that. We’re not risking that. We just want Peter to learn how to control his expressions and now also learn how to lie better so we can get him a promotion.”
Bucky nodded in agreement, “It’s been a while since this started, I thought Peter would figure it out and get us to stop, since Tony calls him a genius.”
Steve gaped at the two of them, “So you’re telling me that Peter and Y/n are having sex? How long have they even been together for?”
Sam and Bucky were silent for a few moments before they burst into laughter, with Bucky slapping his leg and Sam clutching his shirt. They were laughing so hard that Bucky’s face turned red from the lack of oxygen he was breathing in.
“Oh god! You didn’t know?!” Sam cried out, laughing harder.
“Absolutely not, does Tony know?” Steve seemed alarmed, and Bucky rolled his eyes and calmed himself down.
“That they’re dating? Yes, Steve. There was a whole spectacle last year where Peter got on the floor and asked Tony for permission to ask her out.” Bucky explained.
“Oh! Oh. In December, right?” Steve asked to clarify.
“Right.” Sam nodded back.
“That was when Tony was in that awful mood and caused that international incident.” Steve oohed to himself and shook his head.
“You didn’t know why that happened? Yeah, it was Peter and Y/n.” Bucky sighed.
“Well, that… actually explains a lot around here. I thought they were just good friends.” Steve blinked and nodded to himself.
“Yeah, just don’t mention what we’re doing to Peter and Y/n in front of Tony. Anyway, Peter isn’t learning a thing and I think they’re both in a rut right now. It looks like she keeps turning him down.” Sam spoke up.
“Aw, Peter probably is angry with you guys.” Steve voiced.
Bucky snorted, “Fuck yeah, he is. Nerd has got to learn his lesson before we stop.”
Sam shrugged, “I think he’ll learn within the week, right?”
Bucky shook his head, “No way. At least two weeks.”
Steve narrowed his eyes and thought about this. He knew a bit more about Peter personality wise. He used to be like Peter and Peter used to be like him when they were younger.
“I bet you both $500 that it’s going to take at least a month.” Steve declared.
Sam and Bucky looked at each other and grinned widely, “Deal! You’re on.” Bucky shouted. Sam laughed, “This is a fool’s bet. You could give me $500 now.”
Steve shrugged and gazed back to the massive screen, “Hm, we’ll see who wins.”
-
Peter and you were finally alone in the pantry. Steve had ordered pizza for everyone and left it out in the dining room for people to come and get, so you two were alone in the kitchen.
“I missed you so much, baby, I love you so much too, fuck I really need you.” Peter pleaded with you, considering if he should get down on his knees and beg you to just even kiss him.
You pouted back at him, “I do too, honey. I want you too, but I’m not in the mood to get caught again and have you acting like a fool.”
Peter shook his head frantically, “Baby, no, it won’t happen this time. I made sure. Look, Steve bought pizza for everyone, and you know Bucky loves pizza so much. He’s going to be eating for at least 30 minutes and Sam loves to watch an episode of a sitcom while he eats and that’s also at least maybe 20-30 minutes. They’re not going to interrupt us.”
You hummed and crossed your arms, “You’re sure? 100 percent sure?”
“Yes, please, yes. I’m begging you, baby. I know they aren’t going to be here.” Peter pushed his hands together and got to his knees, in a praying way.
You gaped at him, “Get up, Peter! You don’t have to do that.”
“I do, I really do. I know I’m unworthy of your pussy but please, it’s like nectar to a hummingbird, baby, please.” He explained.
You laughed at him and pulled him up with your arms. “Come here, silly.” You rolled your eyes at him and kissed him.
He moaned out loud at just the simple kiss. Wow, he was touch starved, he needed you so much. He felt his eyes tear up as the kiss got deeper and he felt your hand in his hair, pulling him closer.
So, yeah, he definitely needed this. He hasn’t masturbated or jerked off in any way these past few weeks, because you were always around and always wanted to fuck too. He felt your other hand go under his pants, and he whimpered, needing more.
“Please, please, touch me, please.” He begged you as you pulled away from the kiss. You giggled at him and nodded, dipping your hand underneath his underwear, and cupping his hard on.
“You’re so needy, baby.” You teased him and pecked his lips.
“I am, I know, please, I want more, please. I’m yours, all yours.” He continued.
You started to jerk him off after you pulled his dick out of his pants. He moaned loudly and pulled you into another kiss, muttering against your lips, “Just like that, please, more.”
His hips started to jerk up as you continued to go faster and within two minutes, he was coming hard and fast and all over your hand and his shirt. He was flushed red, and he had these gooey looking happy eyes, and he had the biggest smile on his face.
You were shocked, he’s never come so fast before. “Peter, baby, you came in like two minutes.” You said, lips parting.
“I love you so much.” He panted and dropped his head against your shoulder. You looked down at his cock, realizing it never even went down. You were even more surprised at that and started to jerk him off again and he moaned so loud and prettily.
He moaned your name over and over and he cried into your shoulder, with actual tears. “Please, more, please, I’m begging you. I need more. I want more.” He cried out.
“Wanna fuck me? Huh, Peter? Want my pussy?” You asked him, pulling him by his hair and kissing down his throat.
“Yes, I want to use your pretty pussy, please, let me, please!” He begged even more, and you quickly got yourself ready, pulling your pants down and pushing a finger down to your pussy to check if you were wet enough, and yes, you were very ready.
You leaned against one of the shelves and showed yourself to Peter, ass towards him. He instantly grabbed onto your hips and with one big thrust, he went into your pussy, pounding hard and nonstop.
“Ah! Fuck, yes, right there!” You moaned loudly, pressing your head against a bag of chips. Peter was muttering nonsensically, but you could hear him say “please, please, please, please” over and over again.
“Keep going, you could do it, come on.” You encouraged him, wanting him to fuck you longer.
You weren’t shocked that you could feel him coming again, inside you this time. He continued anyway, fucking through his orgasm and right into another for himself. His hand came around your hip and down to your pussy, rubbing at your clit as he continued to pound into you.
“Oh, fuck, fuck, yes, shit! Yes Peter!” You felt like you were yelling but you couldn’t help yourself. You were finally coming after so long, on his cock. It felt incredible and you loved it so much.
He was still fucking you, and you were a bit shocked. He’s never done something like this before. After coming twice and working himself to another one? He usually stopped at one and rested for a few minutes and then he could go again, up until about four times.
“Need more, need your pussy, need you, baby. I love you so much. I wanna fuck you for so long, need it.” He panted in the crack of your neck and shoulder, groaning loud as he felt himself start to come again.
So much of his cum spasmed into your pussy and you gasped loudly at the feeling of being stuffed so full. It even started to leak out as he continued fucking your pussy, the sensations leading you into another orgasm so quickly.
You cried out his name, feeling like you were going to collapse now.
He still continued. You didn’t want him to stop at all, and it seemed like neither did he. He was on a roll, and he was locked into your pussy like he couldn’t pull himself out and he loved it.
A knock rang loudly on the door to the pantry. Peter slowed himself but didn’t stop fucking you. “What do you want?” He shouted, uncaring about who it was.
“I need to get some chili flakes for the pizza. I’d be happy if you didn’t ejaculate on them.” Bucky’s voice rang out.
You and Peter both groaned and finally he pulled out, anger steamed practically out of his ears. He barely pulled his pants back up and pushed his still hard dick into them before he cracked the door open and stared at Bucky.
“The chili flakes are with the pizzas out in the dining room.” Peter huffed out, face red still. Bucky rolled his eyes at the guy, still acting flustered.
“Yeah? And were you fucking Y/n in there too?” He asked Peter, grinning teasingly.
“…Uh, nope! Not at all. Was just helping her rearrange some stuff in the pantry.” Peter responded, acting awkward now.
This time you rolled your eyes and pulled the door completely open once you were decent enough.
“Bucky. He was rearranging my guts and if you need some chili flakes, I’m going to inject chili oil into your eyes while you’re asleep. Got it? Good, now more out of my way, I’m going to go get some pizza.” You almost growled at him.
Bucky slowly put his hands up and stepped to the side for you to pass him. He raised his eyebrows, “Mm, yeah, I’m not stopping you, go right ahead to the pizza.” He let you pass.
You looked back at Peter and sighed, “Enough of this. Seriously.” You looked so angry and so done about the entire thing.
After you left, Bucky stood there with his arms crossed and Peter just awkwardly excused himself after a minute of Bucky staring at him.
Yeah, Peter needed to fix this or else you’d stop having sex with him altogether.
-
You sat next to your dad as he wrapped an arm around you. You picked up a slice of pizza and started eating it, listening to the conversation in the dining room. Natasha and Clint were arguing about which hot sauce belonged on pizza and Steve was trying to meditate it but ended up groaning at the two of them when they switched to speaking in Russian.
“You good, bug?” Your dad asked you as you took another bite. You nodded silently and finished chewing and swallowed your food.
“Yeah, it’s just I’m really annoyed with this three-month thing. I’m getting tired of the people around me.” You practically glared at Bucky as he walked into the room.
Tony nodded to you, “Yeah, you’re sick of your boyfriend, huh? Let me take him off your hands tomorrow, I’ve got a project I need some assistance on.”
You blinked in surprise, “Oh, yeah, sure thing. He loves working with you in the lab.”
Tony smiled, “Yeah, he’s good with technology. But it sounds like I might need to talk to him about being clingy to you.”
You shook your head, “Oh that’s fine, I had a… few words with him. He should understand now.” You thought back to what you said a few minutes ago to Peter and mentally shrugged. If he doesn’t get Sam and Bucky to stop interrupting you guys, you’re going to deny him any kind of physical touch.
And yes, you were going to be so fucking sexy as you do that to taunt him even more.
“Good, you were always good with your words.” Tony responded to you, and you smiled at him. You were so thankful that your dad never found out about any of this stuff. You were sure he knew that you two were messing around together but you didn’t want to bring that up with him.
“Yeah, she definitely is.” Bucky spoke up, into your conversation.
You glared at him again and he barely even acknowledged you. Your dad though, nodded to Bucky, “Right. If she ever stops with our Avengers stuff, she could become a lawyer.”
“Definitely.” Bucky chuckled and grabbed a slice of pizza.
-
When you knocked on Peter’s door that night, he answered it within a minute. He pulled you into the room with a hug and a smile.
“Hey baby, did you save me a slice of pizza?” He asked and you shook your head.
“No, I’m sorry. Steve made a bet with Bucky about who could eat the most pizza and it all ran out in the end. But… we have to talk.” You worded carefully at the end.
“Talk. Right, yeah, we do need to.” He sighed and sat back on his bed.
“You’ve got to figure this out with Sam and Bucky, and you have to learn how to stop reacting to them so much. That’s why they keep stopping us.” You explained.
Peter started blushing almost on instinct, “But – I don’t know how to do that.”
You sighed, “Baby, you’ve got to learn. I’m sure there’s a bigger picture to this whole thing that we don’t understand right now but try to look at that.”
Peter shrugged, “All I can see is Sam and Bucky finding it hilarious to fuck with us.”
“Well then, once you get them to come and apologize to me and you together at the same time, then we can have sex. Until then, we’re abstaining. I don’t care how long it takes, but you have to do this. You know I have talked to them about it before and they still continue, so you have to try.” You declared.
Peter gaped at you, “But no sex? What?”
“Yeah. Until you do that, I’m going to go buy some new toys. I need to find a toy that pleases me as good as you, please me.” You shrugged at him, feeling a tiny bit bad once his expression drops into something stormy.
“Okay, yeah, I get that.” He sighed deeply.
“I’ll see you later, bye sweetie, love you.” You pressed a long and gentle kiss to his lips and walked away.
-
Two months. Two fucking whole months and Peter and you have not had sex. Each time he’s tried, he couldn’t face them. It was terrible.
But now?
Now, Peter is pretty sure he can face the god of sex and be unphased if he was caught jerking off.
Each step he took was like he was bouncing off of mountains with how pissed he was and how horny he’s been without any relief. Now jerking off has done no good to him. You’ve been teasing him so much too. You’d wear the shortest fucking shirts ever in front of him and anyone around and just prance around like nothing’s wrong.
You’d wear some of his favorite dresses on you, the ones you two only used in private when you guys wanted to roleplay. The sparkly red one, with a low back? Yes. The short sheer black one where he could see your nipples if he stared long enough. Yes.
And you even wore his shirt with nothing else on – yes, nothing at all, all around the compound. He saw you in it, eating ice cream on the couch in the living room, chatting with Natasha, who was beside you. He sat down across from you and spoke with you guys before you slowly spread your legs deliberately and showed him you weren’t wearing any panties.
He excused himself so fast and cried in the shower when he couldn’t come.
So, right now it was about 3 in the morning. He disabled Friday in Sam’s room and Bucky’s room, shut off the power in their rooms as well. He put some special web fluid in his suit and went into Sam’s room first. He had prepared for this for at least two days, pulling information from everywhere he could find.
He broke every single appliance in the room. Then he barricaded the door and the windows. He made sure Sam had no contact with the outside, and he did so all very quietly.
He woke Sam up by pulling the blanket off him.
“Woah, what’s going on? Peter?! What the hell? Friday, turn the lights on!” Sam yelled out. When Friday didn’t do anything, Sam sat up in his bed, staring up at Peter, who was standing on top of the bed frame at the end, staring down at him with a hard expression.
It scared the shit out of Sam. He could barely see anything in the dark, but Peter’s face was something he could focus on, with some of the light coming from beneath his costume.
The usual shinny light in his eyes were gone. His happy-go-lucky expression was wiped away. There was a blank and dark look on the man’s face and it terrified Sam. This was not Peter Parker. This was a monster.
“Peter, come on, you’re scaring me… What’s happening?” Sam stood up, and tried walking to the door, but it was completely blocked. Sam looked over to the other escape routes in his room, which were blocked too, all thanks to Peter.
“You’re going to stop bothering me and Y/n.” Peter spoke up.
“Uh, come on, those are just jokes me and Bucky play.” Sam shrugged, trying to get Peter to calm down.
“How long has it been since you last spoke to your sister?” Peter brought up, voice void of emotion.
“Peter?! How the fuck do you know I have a sister? Did Steve and Bucky tell you?” Sam’s voice got louder.
“She’s sleeping at the moment. I have a camera in her room. She likes wearing that snoopy shirt to sleep, doesn’t she? I can tell. Did you know she leaves her window in the bathroom unlocked? She likes to leave it open when she showers. She uses those lavender bath bombs that CVS sell for $7 but she always gets them with an online coupon.” Peter chuckled.
Sam stayed silent in terror. This was scary, this was becoming his worst nightmare.
“I like to check in on her a lot. She has a kid too, your nephew, yeah? Isn’t it funny his favorite Avenger is me, Spiderman? I sent him a package as a thank you. It means so much to me. Do you remember third grade performance in a reenactment of the New York battle? I certainly do. He played an alien character. Remember what his line was? ‘Don’t kill me, oh mighty avenger!’ I love that line so much. It reminds me of what’s happening here, right? You’re the little bitch standing scared in the corner and I’m about to fuck you up.” Peter continued.
Sam practically curled himself up into a ball in the corner of the room. He stared in horror at Peter, thinking that these past few months haven’t been the smartest thing – with what he’s been doing with Bucky.
“Don’t bother me and Y/n again. I’m not asking. I’m telling you.” Then he raised his arm up and pointed at Sam.
He activated the web shooter and shot the new web fluid at him.
The web fluid was disgusting. Instantly, Sam started gagging and he tried pulling it off but once it stuck onto his skin, it wouldn’t move. The fluid hardened slightly, then started growing and growing and Peter pushed the desk away from the door and walked out.
Sam was left trapped in a corner in the dark, yelling out helplessly for anyone to listen to him. The fluid expanded to the rest of the room, trapping Sam in an uncomfortable spot. It would be hours before someone was alerted of the mess, and it would take another 16 hours to dissolve the web fluid and to get him out of the room.
Sam understands now to never fuck with Peter Parker or you ever again.
-
Peter was going to do something different with Bucky. He’d wake immediately if someone walked into his room, so he had waited outside his door and just breathed a bit heavily, knowing Bucky would eventually wake up and feel uneasy because he sensed someone outside his room.
Peter covered himself in an ooze that Bruce had developed during the quarantine in anger. It was a jelly type consistency that always smeared and spread and caused those that came into contact with it to slip around and feel itchy.
Yes, Peter felt uncomfortable, but he had the solution that undid this mess on him. He’d use it once he was done with Bucky and then go shower.
It only took two minutes for Bucky to open the door, armed and ready for an intruder. Peter flew himself into him and the knife slipped off of his body easily. He wrestled around with Bucky as Bucky started to understand who he was.
“Peter? What on Earth…Get the fuck off me, kid.” Bucky grunted, trying to kick Peter in the gut, but struggled when the goo got on him and started to spread.
Bucky started to itch like crazy, and he let Peter go as he started to itch everywhere. “The fuck did you do, kid?” He questioned, trying to stand up. Peter grasped the side of the wall and activated his suit to stand up.
“You’re going to be left like this for two days. This is my response. You’re not going to bother me and Y/n again.” Peter started off. Bucky just stared at him incredulously.
“You’re hard to intimidate. But I got the information… Did you know your sister donated her eggs? I do. You have some blood relations left in this world. Ouch, does that hurt you to hear? Especially since I can give this information to anyone here. Don’t you think Steve would want to go talk to them? You don’t want that though. You just want to be alone after what happened with your sister. Do you remember where you kept her letter to you? The one that told you she forgave you for leaving back then. I remember the lines, ‘James, dear, I love you and will always have a piece of love for you in my heart throughout the rest of my life. Remember when we’d fight over who got the last of ma’s cookies? Every time I bake her recipe, I think of you.’ Oh, so sad.” Peter voiced out.
Bucky immediately tried getting up to go beat the shit out of Peter, but he couldn’t.
“I have a copy of the letter. Do you want me to show Steve the part where she talked about him? Oh, you don’t? Okay, so don’t fucking mess with me and Y/n again. Or I’m going to release all the information I have on you. It will flood the internet and the streets. This isn’t a question, this is a statement. You can see this as a threat, I see this as a promise. You should know I don’t break my promises so easily. And I’m going to fuck my girlfriend whenever I want, without you interrupting.” Peter finished and smiled at him.
Bucky stopped thrashing around and just stared at Peter.
“You’re learning. Oh, thank fuck, finally. You didn’t have to do all this shit. You just needed to learn how to take things with a straight face and learn how to lie.” Bucky sighed deeply then laughed and shook his head.
“I was going to put word in with Tony to promote you too once you learned. But huh, you’re learning another kind of lesson that I didn’t expect you to ever learn. How to be a badass motherfucker. Wow, this modern world surprises me still.” Bucky chuckled.
Peter stood frozen, “You wanted to promote me?”
“I did.” Bucky noted back.
“…Do you still want to promote me?” Peter nervously asked.
Bucky tilted his head at him and smiled, “Ask me again once I can stand up.”
Peter groaned, “Nope, I know you’re going to punch me. Not falling for that.”
“Hah, looks like you’re learning not to be so gullible too. Good job.” Bucky laughed again and sat in the mess. He just continued to itch himself like crazy.
“I’m leaving now.” Peter said, leaving with a strange feeling in his chest.
He could’ve been promoted. Wow. That’s awesome! But you know what’s even more awesome now, he can finally have sex with you again.
-
“Baby! I did it! I got them to stop bugging us.” Peter spoke up, grabbing your hand to hold it. You smiled back and laughed cheerfully.
“I saw! You did great. Thank you, sweetie. We can do stuff together now.” You pulled him into a hug.
“Want to go try that new simulator together? We can have sex in a meadow! It’s like VR but better.” Peter asked and you nodded happily.
Your eyes widened, “Oh shit, that’s awesome. But what if we could have sex somewhere even more crazy then?”
“Yeah! I love when it’s a crazy spot. Makes me feel a thrill.” Peter exclaimed and you agreed. You two ran to the room, laughing when you saw Sam right behind the wall. He absolutely heard the entire conversation.
“You guys are insane exhibitionists. What the fuck.” Sam muttered.
-
A week later, Sam and Bucky handed each their payment to Steve. Once Steve saw and heard what Peter did to the two of them, he was shocked. Never did he think that Peter was capable of something like that, but Steve understood the feeling that once he was pushed, he’d also do something similar.
“At least he learned something.” Sam brought up.
Bucky shook his head, “Don’t know if it was worth being itchy and slippery for two days. Bruce had to recreate the solution to get it off me since Peter stole all of it and used it on himself.”
“I have trauma now. I don’t think I’ll ever see him as a little puppy anymore.” Sam revealed.
Bucky snorted, “Welcome to the club. Trauma is the only thing I know best.”
Steve shook his head at the two, “Well, I guess you guys have to move onto something else now. We still have about two and a half weeks till we should be safe to go outside again. Want to start a puzzle with me?”
Sam instantly denied him, “Nope, not again. You only buy the super hard puzzles with dull images. It’s sad. Bye.” He walked away.
Steve looked at Bucky with hopeful eyes, “I’m going to go… do something, yeah. Bye Steve.” Bucky spoke up.
Steve sighed at his friends’ actions. At least you and Peter could have fun together again.
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leviathxn · 6 months
Note
Hi! I have a request! If you would like to do it...😊
Uhm, so what if y/n and Miguel are married for years and have kids but the Spider society doesn't know. And the shock on the Spider crew faces when they find out about Miguel's sweet side.
YESS I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THESE
(N/N) is nickname or whatever spider name you want to go by
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“Who are you?”
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By no means were you a strong spider. In your universe, you were the first test subject. You got minor powers of a spider. They weren’t very prevalent so the lab tried another experiment, and that person became the true Spider-Man of the universe. You guys were close friends you ended up becoming their sidekick. People assumed there was a relationship, but actually your heart belong to someone else. That somebody was Miguel O’ Hara.
You met Miguel when your partner had ran into the portal and you followed shortly after. Love at first sight might be a reach. You were definitely in love, Miguel was too… he just had to open up to it. He did. It took him a long time but he did.
However, just like him, nobody had any idea. They figured it was on sided, nothing special. So it stayed a secret between you and Miguel. In the span of 5 years, you and Miguel had gotten married, moved in together, had a kid and had another on the way. You never did much at Headquarters so you stayed home taking care of the kid while also staying healthy for your 2nd baby. You were sure nobody knew you existed in the new society, anybody that you had originally met never said much. Since nobody knew your relationship to Miguel, you were seen as a once in a while friend to chat with.
However one day you decided to take your 2 year old and plumped up self to see Miguel and meet new spiders. Not only that but Miguel left your home-made empanadas in the fridge. Your child knew he was spider-man, well as much as a two year old could comprehend. As you walked through the portal it felt like you were looking at an entire new place. You hadn’t been in the Headquarters since the renovation, but luckily you remember seeing the layout blueprints on Miguel’s desk. You got stares, and every now and then a spider would come up to you and “catch-up”. They would ask why you were there, you would say “I’m here to see my husband”, and surprisingly they wouldn’t think much of it. You figured most would assume it was your former partner (Miguel was deathly jealous of him). They said hello to your 2 year old and then would leave you on your mission.
Finally making your way to his office, you picked up your child and gently opened the door. He was standing by his computer screens while a small group of spiders seemed to be… harassing him.
“I think our mission went fine! It wasn’t even a big mistake, nobody died. You can just say your hate me and move on, don’t ban me from the cafeteria”. A teen with bleeding armpits(?) shouted at him. Another blonde spider laughed and smacked his arm
“Miguel wouldn’t get rid of you, he’s running out of reliable people”. You could hear Miguel’s grumbling from a mile away. A British man threw up a random gadget before catching it again (definitely not a toy).
“Well maybe if he wasn’t so mean”. Miguel snatched the gadget out of his hand before an old friend of yours caught eye. Peter B. Parker, with MayDay, ran over to you.
“Oh my God it’s (n/n)! With a kid- two kids? Oh my god this is amazing, long time no see!” He gave you a big hug, playing little hand games with your child. You said hello to Mayday and put down your kid. They two of them already started running off (you were worried about Maydays powers but the place is full of spiders, what could go wrong?). In typical Peter fashion, he runs after the kids and plays with them. The rest of the teens stared, none of them knew who you were. Miguel stared at you across the room, his face softening.
As you walked over to him, you packed his cheek and handed him the empanadas. He gently grabbed your waist and smiled, before taking the empanadas and putting them on the table. You hear Peter gasp as he watches the scene from across the office.
“You should be resting cariño”. You smiled and but a hand over your belly.
“It’s fine bubs, it’s a spider baby, they’ll come out just fine”. He kisses your forehead and holds your hand over your belly.
It was eerily quiet in the room, you had almost forgot that the spiders were there. As you turned your head to look at them, it was pure shock from all, even Mayday was looking at you guys (although she didn’t really understand why).
“It’s nice to meet you guys! You must be the crew I hear all about.” Peter almost fell off the ceiling, luckily catching himself and the kids (when did your kid get up there).
The teens immediately ran up to you as if you were an anomaly, “Who are you and how did you do that!”
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OKAY THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO BUILD UP TOO
I love doing like backgrounds and then boom the moment, especially for shorts like this. Let me know if you guys liked it, and thank you for the request!
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maspers · 2 months
Text
Batman / Leverage crossover where the Leverage crew shows up at one of those fancy Gothamite Galas or whatever to take down one of Gotham's rich jerk socialites, and Bruce immediately realizes who they are but also knows their reputation so he just kind of tells the rest of the Batfam to let the Leverage crew do their thing and not get involved.
This *mostly* works, since there's plenty of other crap going down to distract the Waynes, but somehow Damian misses the memo and suddenly Gets Involved. The poor Leverage crew finds themselves having to both take down their rich jerk mark AND babysit this terrifying child.
Nate and Sophie are confused, but roll with it (Sophie LOVES Gotham parties there's always so much DRAMA). Hardison repeatedly comments that he feels like he's the only one noticing all the frankly insane comments Damian is making. Parker thinks Damian is the most delightful child she's ever met and asks his opinions on various increasingly violent hypothetical scenarios (which Damian responds to in depth, much to Hardison's chagrin). Eliot spends most of the episode just kind of staring into the middle distance because he can tell Damian is a trained assassin based on his (very distinctive) body language and like WHAT THE HECK this kid is NINE why is he an ASSASSIN dangit this is why Eliot hates Gotham 50% of Gothamites just know how to kill everything apparently
Damian is impressed by the group's efficiency but also unimpressed with the group's general goofiness (Nate ends up on the receiving end of like five bajillion insults). He goes along with the shenanigans playing the part of a weird but ignorant civilian until the very end where right after the team does The Gloat he walks up to them and says something along the lines of "somewhat passable work, 7/10" before jumping out a window and Eliot just groans.
Afterwards Bruce berates Damian because they really don't want to be on the Leverage crew's radar but Damian doesn't really care since it made the Gala more interesting, and all the rest of the Batkids are rolling on the ground with laughter.
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tarjapearce · 1 year
Note
I loved the crew interacting with the O’Hara family I was laughing the entire time!
Is it possible to do a reaction to Miguel first introducing his family to the crew? Like Mama!reader showing up to his office out of nowhere, no matter how many times Miguel said no and the crew stares in disbelief like - “YOU HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS?”
Imma switch it up a bit to fit into the Soccer Family AU 🤭. Glad you had fun with it!
"Why don't you just ask him?" Gwen deadpanned
"No. Can't just ask Mr. O'Hara, 'hey are you married? He's mean!" Mile's hand gestured
"I swear I saw him holding a baby. And it wasn't Mr. Parker's Mayday!" Pavitr chimed in, curiosity shining in his eyes
"Maybe his brother had a baby?"
"You'd owe me five if he's married." Hobie spoke as he laced up his boots. The three pair of eyes looked at him.
"Whu-?"
"Make it ten cause I know the man is a workaholic at heart"
Hobie shrugged.
"Dun' say I didn't warn ya."
"Dude, we have just done some chores for him, for the neighborhood really, he rarely asks for our services! He just asked us to clean his front yard!"
"Cause he likes minding his business." Gwen rolled his eyes.
"Okay, I know. maybe we can just ask him directly?" Mile's spoke as he looked Miguel’s car passing by.
Now all the eyes were on him.
"Or we... can spy him?"
Pavitr's smile turned into a smirk.
"Like, you distract him and the rest can go around to find any clues on his home"
"Why me?!"
"Cause it's your idea" Gwen chuckled
"I'm pretty sure that's property invasion"
"I'm in." Hobie mumbled
The plan was set.
----
Miles gulped for the thousandth time as he approached, the door of Mr. O'Hara's home growing ominously big and closer.
"Nuh uh. I'm out."
His phone buzzed, Gwen's name displaying on screen.
"What are you doing?!"
"I'm out!"
"Miles, I swear... Just distract him enough for us to get a glimpse on the back side of his house!"
"If I die? Keep my collection of figurines intact." He could hear Gwen groaning from the other line.
"Don't be dramatic. Just ask him if he needs anything done this week!"
"Fine. Fine. Alright."
He shook his body and gave his cheeks a brief pat, walked over the door and dinged the doorbell. His breath hitched as the door slid open, but instead of Miguel, a woman opened the door. Short, pretty, kind eyes and hair donned in a messy bun. That was definitely one of Miguel's t-shirts.
"Yes?"
"Uh... Hi. I'm Miles Morales, from Friendly Neighborhood Spiders?"
"Oh?" You looked confused
"Just a little business me and my friends set up. Uh... we eh, we just ring doorbells and ask if we can do chores for the neighbors around the block?"
"That's pretty cool! Didn't know about it. Gotta ask Miguel if we need any services right now."
"Wait, you... You know Mr. O'Hara?"
"Mr. O'Hara?" You giggled, shaking your head, "Miguel! Mi amor! Can you come at the door please?"
Mi amor?
Miles' eyes went wide at the endearing term. His breath caught in his throat again as he saw Miguel’s hulking figure carrying a baby that wasn't Mayday. Just like Pavitr had said.
Gwen, Hobie and Pav approached behind Miles, they had been watching from the other side of the street and we're too tempted to not see the scene unfold for themselves.
"¿Qué pasó?" (What's wrong?)
His voice low as the baby was falling asleep in his arms.
"I didn't know we had some entrepreneurs in the neighborhood. They wanna know if we need anything this week."
"No" Miguel shook his head softly, the toddler in his arm stirred. A thick eyebrow of him raised at the expression of the four teens. A 'The legend is real' expression, all eyes settled on the golden ring around his finger, matching yours.
Hobie however just smirked. 30 bucks on his pockets would do nice things for him.
"Will go prepare dinner then. Nice to meet you guys!" You chirped and waved your goodbyes, leaving Miguel alone with them.
"So..."
His sharp features went blank
"You're married. And have kids."
"Oh! We can babysit that pretty baby too" Pavitr sing sung
"The lawn is enough for now." Miguel’s voice still remained low, but firm.
"Right. Uh, thanks. We'll be back."
A hurried 'have a good evening Mr. O'Hara' was thrown his way as they fled from his door.
Once they were far enough, Miles couldn't help but hold his head and gasp.
"He is married!"
"Yeah, noted." Gwen nodded
"Did you see that toddler?! Oh so chubby and precious!"
" Yeah, cool family and all. Y' owe me 30"
"You seriously know how to sour the moment" Pavitr slid two five bills on his hand.
"Well, mystery solved." Gwen slid another two bills on Hobie's hands
"That explains the baby chair in his car."
"You peeked into his car?!" Mile's freaked out
"Wut? Ya said you wanted to go in his home."
Gwen rolled her eyes.
"Kids."
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dirtyvulture · 11 months
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Ceremony
Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Sergeant!Reader
18+ only read at your own risk
Summary: You get some (very nice) awards for your actions during Operation: Avalanche.
Word count: 1834
AN: Reader has a penis, no pronouns used.
This is Part 4 of my Sergeant Beef AU, following the events of this fic.
“Why is all of this necessary?” you whine, pulling at your stiff collar. Natasha slaps your hand down as she fixes the medals and ribbons on your chest. 
“This is what you get for almost getting yourself killed,” she replies, although there is no malice in her tone. “Don’t worry. We can go back to my place afterwards and–”
“Finally,” you interrupt with a grin. 
“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” she chastises again, although you know she’s just as excited as you are to be back on your home turf for the first time in months. 
“How do I look? Would I pass your inspection this time?” you ask as she backs away from you, surveying you up and down. You’re leaning on one crutch still, but you’re glad that you don’t have to use a wheelchair anymore. 
“You look fantastic,” Natasha says, leaning in for a soft kiss. “Ready?”
“Let’s do it.”
She walks at your pace as you hobble out of the parking lot, joining the large group of people gathered on the lawn of the park. Most of them you hadn’t seen since before your deployment, which at this point feels years ago. Your entire team is here too, all of them crowding around you for hugs and handshakes. There’s too many things to be said but no privacy to say them in, so you promise that you’ll give them your time once you return to the base. Men and women with more medals and ribbons than you can count come over to thank you and wish you well. It feels odd being the center of attention and you’re not really sure you like it.
Peter Parker brought along his Aunt May and she gives you a hug that almost lifts you off the ground. She cries into your shoulder while thanking you for not leaving her nephew behind and you unexpectedly get a little choked up yourself. 
There’s also a camera crew from the local news station that asks you to sit down for a brief interview. You see Natasha watching you from behind the camera, a mixture of pride and worry on her face for you. She knows this event is emotionally and mentally draining for you, but she can’t be happier to be here celebrating your achievements with you. 
After the interview, you sit with her in the front row, you on the aisle side because you need space for your crutch. General Fury goes up to the stage and gives the opening speech. 
You zone out, hearing your name said a few times, but you don’t really care. Natasha nudges your knee with hers and you look up at her. She smiles bracingly which you return half-heartedly.  
“I would now like to welcome Sergeant Y/N to the stage,” Fury says, as everyone erupts into applause. You grab your crutch and Natasha stands with you. Slowly, you limp to the steps of the stage, Natasha hovering behind you carefully. You hop up each step, your face hot as you feel all eyes on you and you pray that you don’t accidentally trip in front of them. “Sergeant Y/N,” Fury says as you approach him. He is mindful to offer you his left hand so you can leave your right one holding onto your crutch. 
“It is with great honor that I present to you today the Purple Heart Award and the Distinguished Service Cross, for your bravery and actions during Operation: Avalanche. You did not hesitate to put yourself in certain danger to ensure your team’s safety, and because of your sacrifice, all six members of your team are here today. Thank you for your service and dedication to protecting this country, Sergeant Y/N.”
The applause sounds louder up here than your seat, and you stand tall as Fury pins your two new awards to your chest. Natasha is standing, probably clapping louder than anyone else, and her reaction makes you feel happier than the two awards you’ve just been given. 
“Thank you, General,” you say, saluting him with a tight voice. 
“Don’t thank me, Sergeant Y/N. I didn’t even write the speech,” he teases, standing next to you and posing for some pictures. 
***********************************************************************
After the ceremony, you skip your own after party to go home with Natasha. You give everyone the excuse that you’re tired, which isn’t technically a lie, but now you just want to spend time with Natasha. She brings you to her apartment, which is bigger and nicer than yours, but you don’t even have a second to revel in its familiarity when she pushes you into the bedroom. 
She helps unbutton your shirt, being very mindful of your new awards, taking it over to her closet to properly hang up. You can’t help but smile at how respectful she is when it's normally a desperate frenzy to get you undressed. You toss your crutch onto the floor, leaning most of your weight on your left leg while trying to simultaneously unbuckle your belt and take off your pants without falling over. 
By the time she comes over to you, she’s already naked herself and you can’t help but moan when she presses against you, skin-to-skin. She wraps her strong arms around your waist, helping keep you upright, leaning up to kiss you. You can tell she’s trying to be gentle with you, but you can feel her passion with the way her hands possessively run up your sides, skating carefully over the new, large scar along your ribs. Her nails dig into your back muscles to press you against her harder.
“Nat,” you whisper when you start to feel your right leg shaking. You know you lost some muscle mass and definition being cooped up in a hospital bed for months, but Natasha doesn't seem to mind. You're also embarrassed that you can’t stay standing for long, but Natasha pulls away to take your hand and lead you to the bed. You limp after her, immediately dropping to your knees on the mattress as she lays down in front of you.
“I really want you, Y/N,” she says, practically devouring you with her eyes alone. “But if you’re not up to it, I can wait.”
“I want you too, Nat. So much,” you reply, starting to jerk yourself off to hardness. It’s been months since you’ve had an opportunity to have her like this; as often as her visits to your room in the hospital were, you weren’t well enough to engage in her favorite activity the way you used to. It had been hard on both of you to have to wait, and part of you was nervous that you wouldn’t last that long or didn’t remember how to please her.   
“Okay. How do you want me?” Natasha asks, and it’s unusual for her to let you decide. But she seems to understand the importance of going at your pace and doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable.
“Uh…on your knees?” you suggest, not even sure what you’ll be able to handle. As long as the movement was minimal, you figure you’d be okay. 
“Okay.” Natasha kisses you again before turning to face away from you, presenting her perfect backside. Instinctively you grab onto it, shuffling forward until your cock bumps against her butt. You’re already throbbing at her touch but you want to make sure she’s near the same level as you.
You bend forward, your side protesting a little at the movement, but you push through, slipping your arm around her waist to drag your fingers through her folds. Natasha puts her hand on your wrist to guide you better, and you start panting in anticipation when you feel how wet she is.    
You dip your fingers into her while circling her clit and her body stiffens underneath you. You’re just glad you’re doing something right as she ruts back against you with a whine, guiding you to move faster and deeper. 
“Fuck, I think I’m already going to cum,” Natasha admits, tightening around your fingers. She forces you to stop moving so you wait for her next instruction. It makes you feel a little bit better that you’re not the only one with decreased stamina. “Are you ready, babe?” she asks. “I want to cum with you.”
“Yeah, I’m good,” you say, looking down at your hard cock that’s standing almost at a 90-degree angle. 
“Okay. Fuck me good, Y/N.”
Her words turn you feral almost instantly and you steady yourself by holding onto her waist with both hands, maybe a little harder than you intend because you don’t know how much longer you’ll be able to keep yourself upright, even in this kneeling position. The tip of your cock brushes against her hot center and this time, you don’t wait for further permission to enter her. You push in, her tight heat surrounding you, and you have to bite your lip to remind yourself not to cum immediately. 
“Fuck, Nat,” you grunt, afraid to move while you adjust to how perfectly she stretches around you. Your cock twitches when she pulls you in deeper and you finally move your hips in time with hers, although a little more slowly than you would have liked.
You moan like you haven’t been fucked in months, which is technically true, and Natasha pulses harder around you when she hears your reaction to her. She pushes back against your abs with some force, a little afraid that she’ll knock you over, but she’s so desperate to be filled by you. Her toys, her hands, and even yours would never compare to your cock. 
The bedroom quickly fills with the slick noises of your cock sliding in and out of her pussy. The pain in your side and thigh starts to become noticeable even with the numbing pleasure between your legs, and you realize you have to finish soon or you won’t get to at all. 
“Nat, I…I need to cum,” you beg, hoping she’s at her peak too. 
“Let go, babe,” Natasha says, curling her hands into the blankets and lifting her hips higher so you can piston against the sensitive spot inside of her. It takes a few more strokes that almost have you seeing stars before you unload, arching forward to bury yourself to the hilt as you pump out your seed in a few hard bursts. The pressure of being filled is enough to send Natasha over the edge, her cum dripping onto your cock as you pull out and collapse next to her on the bed, your chest heaving and sweat collecting around your neck. 
Natasha reaches out to you, wrapping herself around your body like a koala bear. Although she would love to go another round with you, she can tell you’re too exhausted and doesn’t want to push you. So as you slowly drift off to sleep, Natasha whispers in your ear how much she loves you and how she’ll never take you for granted again. 
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AN: And things are basically back to normal for these two! :)
Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰
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https-kreideprinz · 3 months
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This could be a disaster !
Pico x Boyfriend x Girlfriend x GN! Reader
. . . Now playing: Disaster by Conan Gray! . .
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A/N: So. Me and Parker ( @parker-vaporwave ) Were talking.... and it spawned this fic... Headcannons about taking the polycule (RGB) to a concert. Credits to my brothers for ideas
Notes: I want to be thier gf/bf so bad.
CW: Mentions of drinking alcohol and smoking weed. Reader discretion is advised.
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ׂׂૢ Pico, Girlfriend, Boyfriend (Poly)
Going to the concert with RGB is a disaster in the making
Since Girlfriend’s parents are both filthy rich - being an ex-rockstar and current pop star respectively - they happily pay for their daughter’s tickets.
She told them that she was taking her “friends” with her.
Which lands you and your partners the backstage passes at the venue
Boyfriend melts into the crowd the minute you get there
You spend a good fifteen minutes looking for him
Pico most definitely yells at him for disappearing the moment you find him.
Girlfriend is jamming, bopping her head to the music.
Pico has a tight grip on Boyfriend’s arm but eventually he ends up relaxing and enjoying the music too.
Boyfriend tries to sing along but it's just a mess of beeps and boops (bless him)
 They definitely end up smoking a few blunts and taking a few shots at the end of the concert and hang out with the crew.
Boyfriend passes out after like two drinks
Pico can hold his own but eventually he ends up passing out too
Girlfriend has the highest tolerance and can handle her drinks the best.
She ends up driving everyone home if you're plastered.
Boyfriend and Pico definately end up drunkenly making out with each other.
Pico gets so drunk he ends up in your lap and sobbing his eyes out.
Boyfriend asks for everyone's autographs.
He also ends up in a rap battle with one of the singers.
He wins.
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Taglist: @parker-vaporwave
© Written By https-Kreideprinz. Do not copy, steal or translate without permission.
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morningstarbee · 3 months
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the office job being a parody of The Office is very funny to me
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lmao what the hell is going on
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i love them
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them arguing about eliot's sandwich i love them
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artist brain recognizing the Pentel Col-Erase pencils, the copic sketch markers, the sharpies, and the pencil parker was using earlier was either the Pentel P205 drafting/mechanical pencil, or the Staedler Mars technico lead holder in blue.
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THEYRE STILL ARGUING ABOUT THE SANDWICH
to be fair, that sandwich sounds delicious and i would also be mad if someone ate it
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parker can actually draw well too??
so hardison can do fucking oil paintings and statues and forgeries, and parker can actuall do really cute cartoons and lettering???
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hardison and eliot both yelling at the documentary crew director to leave parker the fuck alone and come with them
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eliot saving hardison from falling off the building
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"Nobody throws Hardison off a roof." (After beating the fuck out of the guy who did)
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parker and eliot giggling about the german filmmaker LMAO
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NOT HARDISON ACTUALLY HAVING ATE TEH SANDWICH LMAO
"What? Boy can cook!" yknow if you ask your boyfriend im sure he'll make one for you instead of stealing his....
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olsenmyolsen · 9 months
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This Is Me Trying - Three - (A Y/N Parker Spider-Woman X Kate Bishop Story)
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masterlist
Summary: You and The Hawkeyes get ambushed as Kate meets The Spider
Word Count: 3.8K
Content: Guns, Shooting, Violence, Flirty Kate Bishop, Clint being protective
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Your Y/N Tingle, as Peter so annoyingly called it.
You landed on a billboard and scanned your eyes around until the hairs on your body stood up.
It was another group of Tracksuits cornering a man.
"Please just take the car!" The guy yelled just loud enough that one of the four poorly dressed men raised his fist and connected to the man's abdomen.
"The city that never sleeps." You mumbled as you leisurely swung your way to the top of the car. Startling the whole crew.
"You know, fellas, I think there's better ways to get a car. Ever tried Uber?"
"Can it Spider-Girl!" A man barked at you, making you roll your eyes under your mask. "I was just asking. I've never used it." You gestured to your web shooter, making the guy look before you fired a web at his face, blinding him.
"Shit!" One of the three other guys called out.
"You know!" You jumped off the car to dodge an attacker with a crowbar. "Since you're all dressed the same, I'm gonna give you guys different names. Okay?" You asked, but no one gave an opinion as they charged at you.
You sighed and went to work catching the fist of the guy with a long grey beard. "Okay, you're Smokey." You said as you webbed his fist together and kicked him into a nearby dumpster. "One down."
The following two guys, each sporting a faded hairstyle, charged you together. One with ginger hair, the other blonde. "Would Ketchup and Mustard be too easy or not good enough?" You asked as you redirected Ketchups crowbar swing to hit Mustard in the back. Making Mustard miss his kick at your leg but giving you enough time to web his foot to the ground as you jumped over the two. Webbing the crowbar and flinging it down the alley.
"Huh?" Mustard asked as his foot didn't move after barely recovering from the hit. "Oh, here!" You said as you webbed his other foot to the ground, making him wide-eyed. "Ketchup! Get her!" He yelled, causing the other guy to tilt his head, confused. "But that's not my-"
You knocked him out in one punch.
"You know I actually hold back when I fight." You told Smokey, who sat on the ground with back pain thanks to the dumpster. "Whatever." He muttered, earning a shrug from you.
"You whatever," You mumbled back as you looked at Mustard and pushed him, causing him to fall over, thanks to his webbed feet.
"That's enough!" The man who you blinded with your web finally tore it off. "Oh hey!" You waved as he pulled out a gun. "You've caused enough problems!" He shouted at you as he cocked back the pistol. "This might not be the right thing to say, but trust me, I know.." He looked at you. "You see, I have an essay due on-"
"ENOUGH!"
He fired a shot into the air before pointing back down at you. You could hear the screams and hushed whispers of the people around this city block.
"Hey, let's put the gun down."
You put your hands up as he turned the gun to the side. "I don't think so." He turned the gun away from you and to the man lying on the snow-covered asphalt—the owner of the vehicle.
The owner looked from the gun to you with fear in his eyes. "Please..." You gave a little nod his way.
Internally, you named him Carl.
"Don't do anything stupid." The man with the gun.. let's call... Dean said. "I won't." You replied back. You kept your eyes in the direction of Dean, but behind the mask, your eyes were searching for protection for the car owner.
A tire a few feet away would have to do.
"I'm really sorry about this." You said, confusing both men. Without another wasted second, you webbed past the car owner. Your web sticking to the tire as you pulled it towards you,
Dean fired his gun.
The bullets began ricocheting over the rim of the wheel or getting stuck in the rubber of the tire as they flew past Carl's head.
With your other hand, you webbed the gun free from Dean's hand and sent it flying backward into Smokey's head, knocking him out.
Now free of the gun, you jumped and twirled in the air to add speed to the momentum of the tire before letting go as you flung it at Dean.
The tire bounced off the cold ground and right into his standing body, sending him flying a few feet away. The tire kept going until it collapsed down the alleyway.
Dean hit the snow with a heavy thud.
He was out.
You landed on the ground and let out a breath.
"I-I thought- I thought I was dead," Carl spoke up after a moment of silence, garnering your attention.
You took cautious steps and crouched in front of him. He sat on the ground shaking. The snow in the air added a quiet bubble between you and him.
"Hey, it's okay. You're here, man. You're here." Carl reached forward for your hand.
You extended it and helped him to his feet.
"You save-saved me!" He took in his surroundings before looking at you. You shrugged. "It's all in a day's work."
Carl shook his head and patted your shoulders.
"I get to go home to my wife because of you."
You weren't going to lie. That did feel good to hear. But even as a spider-based superhero, you still aren't the best at taking compliments.
"Ummm, the police should be here any moment. Okay?" Carl nodded. "Just get home safe."
"You too, Spider-Woman!" He cheered. "Just The Spider is fine." You laughed under your mask and started walking backwards. "You got it, Spider!" Carl shouted as you webbed up the passed-out goons.
"Merry Christmas! Well- uh- if you celebrate!" You shouted as you zipped onto a fire escape before flinging yourself to another roof.
Carl watched in astonishment and clapped. "You too!"
As you hung in the air, let out a breath and collected your thoughts. Getting shot at was never going to be an easy thing just to have happen.
You let out another web and launched yourself into the air, adding a little spin into your release. Your web reached another building, but before you could twhip yourself up, your tingle started going crazy, and before even thinking about it, your body twirled over to avoid an arrow.
Wait, an arrow??
You webbed it up and quickly looked around.
Your eyes eventually found the man you loved to annoy.
Clint Barton on a roof waving at you.
You smiled and let your feet hit the snowy roof with glee. "Hawkeye!" You actually called him by his hero name for once, surprising the man.
"Spider!" He called back as he took the arrow from your hand before looking at the webbing with disgust. "Does this stuff come out of you?"
You tilted your head. "Ew, no!" Clint tried pulling the webbing off the arrow but failed. "It'll dissolve soon." He glared at you. "Hey! You shot at me!"
Clint couldn't argue with you there.
"Why did you shoot at me?" You asked with a smile behind your mask. You didn't get to meet a lot of heroes doing this job.
"Well, honestly..." Clint sighed. "I wanted some information."
"Oh?" You said, surprised. "About?"
You walked past Clint and sat on the roof's ledge while looking at the rugged man. He sighed. "About that building?"
He pointed past you and to the building across the way. It was one you recognized from Ned's discovery. "What girlfriend kick you out?" You joked as you pulled out your phone to text Ned.
Ned sat in your room on the computer. Peter was lying on the floor, throwing a crumbled-up piece of paper to himself. They both had just finished their robotics report for the week and were decompressing.
Outside the room in the living room, MJ was napping with a bowl of Alfredo pasta turned over on the floor. It had fallen when she turned over earlier.
A game show was playing on the TV.
MJ only watched game shows by herself.
"Is that Y/N?" Peter asked when Ned's phone chimed. "Yeah," Ned replied after looking at your text. "What does she want?"
Peter got up and walked up to Ned, sending files and pictures to you. "Just information." He replied, making Peter tilt his head. "Information? About?"
Ned wasn't sure if he should lie or not, but thankfully, he didn't have to say anything when you sent a selfie of you and Clint Barton looking annoyed in the background. Followed by a text: "Hawkeye is bossy."
"Did you really say that?" Clint whined when he asked, making you laugh.
"No, of course not." You lied to the archer and smiled when you got the dump of information from Ned. You sent a quick thank you text and once again ignored Peter's text about doing school work despite the fact that you were hanging out with an ex-Avenger!
"Here." You flipped your phone over and showed Clint the info you had on the buildings. "So you really are tracking them too," Clint said, making you roll your eyes. "I have no reason to lie, arrow guy." You paused. "Hey, that rhymed!"
Now, it was Clint's turn to roll his eyes.
You put your phone away as Clint turned his head and looked at the building. "So... what's your plan? To just stay here and wait for something to happen?"
Clint moved his shoulders up and down. "Kinda."
You huffed and sat down on the snowy roof. You frowned as you immediately regretted it because you'd have to wash this suit next. "That's lame."
Clint chuckled.
You looked around the roof. "Hey, where's number two?" You asked, looking up to number one. "I'm starting to think they're not real."
"Oh, they're real." The older man said. "Look."
You looked to where he gestured, and through one of the broken-out windows on the building across the street, you saw a chick dressed in purple point her bow and arrow in your direction. "Oh, so she is real!" You looked from Clint back to the girl.
"So should we move?" You stood up. "That arrow is pointed directly at us!" Clint laughed. "I would if I were you."
"What does that me-?" Your body flipped itself out of the way as the arrow flew by you and plunged itself into the brick wall of the roof behind you.
Attach at the end of it was a giant black cable that got yanked up with a force on the other side, creating a zip line across.
"Was she aiming for me?!"
"Probably," Clint responded like it was no big deal. "You coming?" He asked as he attached himself to the zip line and clicked on a flashlight. Something you noticed the girl in the window do as well.
You look from him to the building where the girl was waving from.
You waved back. "I could've just swung you over there." You pointed out to number one. "Yeah, but if I broke another bone because of someone else, my wife would then probably kick me out."
You guess you could see the logic in that.
"Wait, you're married!?" That piece of news finally hit you.
"Happily. See you over there." Clint stated as he started making his way across.
You looked from Clint back to the building again.
You've never really done team-ups, but this was happening naturally. You and the two Hawkeyes were all on the same trail of crime. You all knew where it was potentially leading, so the more help wasn't something to shake your head at.
So when Clint looked back over to you when he was halfway across, you made your decision.
With one twhip, you beat Clint across and squeeze through a window to find yourself in front of Hawkeye number two.
But never in a hundred years would you have guessed who it would be.
"Hi!"
Her voice was the exact same, and the way her face scrunched when she looked at you full of glee was something that made your stomach flip with butterflies.
Kate Bishop stood in front of you in a purple ensemble with her bow in one hand and a quiver of arrows on her back.
Aside from the suit, you noticed that Kate had her hair down. She was wearing a purple beanie.
She looked cuter than ever.
Her cheeks were pink from the cold. You could also see a fresh coat of lip balm was recently applied to her lips. Lips that looked soft as- "I can't believe I'm with the Spider!"
She broke you out from your thoughts as she cheered in front of you.
"I'm Kate Bishop, Hawkeye." She extended her hand and waited for you to shake it. "Y/-Uhh I-" You fumbled over your words as you extended your hand. "The uh-" You went wide-eyed.
Your voice!
She couldn't recognize your voice!
You started shaking Kate's hand before making your voice deeper. Not a cartoony amount, but just enough where Kate would definitely know that The Spider is a lesbian.
Ya know?
"T-The Spider!" Yet you still stuttered in front of your crush, causing your face to go completely warm.
The need to rip your mask off to breathe normally was rearing its head.
"Sorry for shooting at you, by the way!! I just wanted to see if you really had it!" Kate said as she dropped your hand with excitement.
"It?" You questioned.
"You know the..." Kate acted out your acrobatic movements, all while her two feet remained on the ground. "Your dodgy spider thing." She smiled as she spoke.
Kate Bishop was the exact same.
You couldn't believe it.
A smile was on your face behind the mask.
"My Spidey sense." You said, making Kate's eyebrows shoot up. "Oh! Cool!" She nodded to her own words as she bit her bottom lip.
Something so innocent was making you blush.
So you turned around and started walking along the floor of the building just as Clint FINALLY came through the window. "I'm getting too old for this shit." He said as he unclipped himself from the zipline.
"Spider," Clint called out as you looked back. "Kate. Spider. Just in case this one was too star-struck to say anything."
That made you listen.
Kate looked at Clint, embarrassed. "No! No! He's joking! Like it's not true! I mean, I like you but- not like that! Like, I admire you... From afar! Ya know? Wait, that's not right!"
Clint covered Kate's mouth as you stood there, shocked at the jumble of words spilling from your crush's mouth.
"She admires you as a hero. Just forget she said anything." Clint said as he removed his hand. "Yes. Thank you, Clint." Kate nodded but avoided eye contact with you.
You just nodded back and grinned widely under the mask. "Well, thank you, Kate."
Kate tilted her head and looked your way.
"You said my name. The Spider said my name." She whispered loudly to herself before starting into the distance.
"Well, enough of... that," Clint said. "Kate, did you find anything?"
Kate nodded and singled for you and Clint to follow.
"Every floor was either empty or left to rot. And this one was the same until..." She stopped in the hallway of what you now recognize as an apartment building door and shined a light on the door.
It looked a lot like Aunt Mays. 
Kate pushed the door open. As it creaked to a stop, one by one, the archers and you stepped inside. The apartment looked lived in. Boxes and tables were removed from dust where others still had it sit. A bed was in the corner of one room, where a work bench and whiteboards riddled with equations and words sat in the corner of another.
"Somone lives here?" Clint asked to no one in particular.
"Lived." Kate held up a notebook left behind on the coffee table and started reading from it.
"I've done all that has been asked of me, and yet he keeps asking for more. I'm afraid of what will happen if I say no. But with the recent news of his disappearance, maybe I have a chance. Now is my time. I'm smarter than this. And if they come for this place-"
"It stops there. No more entries after that." Kate looks from you to Clint, who grabs the notebook and flips through it before returning to that final page. "This was written almost a year ago."
You take a few steps closer. "His dissapearance." You repeated. Making the other two look at you. "Yeah?" Kate asked as you thought about the words.
"Who owns the buildings? Who disappeared a year ago and is creeping up our backs. Powerful enough to have people go into hiding."
Clint sighed.
Kate knew.
"Kingpin." You snapped your finger and nodded; you went to say more, but your phone started to buzz. "Oh.." You picked up to see Ned's caller ID.
"One moment." You said, making Kate look at you a little differently.
Clint returned to the notebook and started to take pictures before combing over the place.
You took the phone into the other room and clicked the side of your mask. "What??" You asked in a hushed whisper. "Where are you?" Ned asked as he looked at live camera footage of a group of Tracksuits exiting a car.
"In a what we now know is an abandoned building."
"Okay, well I have- wait we?!" Ned asked as he took his eyes away from the computer screen. "Yes, me and the Hawkeyes!! Oh my god, speaking of which! I have to tell you-"
You stopped as your body started to feel it.
Your hairs went straight up.
You stood up and started walking out of the room and into the room Clint and Kate were in. "Spider?" Clint asked, a little worried. Kate turned to see you look around, slightly panicked.
"What's going on?" She asked.
Clint shook his head, and the two watched you.
Your body directed you to the abandoned desk. You squatted down and ignored the feel of Kate's eyes on your ass.
That's when you saw it.
A silent armed. Triggered to go off when the front door opened. Kate must've accidentally set it off when she discovered it earlier.
Yet your tingle didn't stop.
You stood up again and walked to the window. At the same time, Ned's voice came through your earpiece. "Get down!!"
Time slowed as the first bullet cracked the window, sending shards of glass your way as the bullet blew right past your face.
As the glass skimmed your mask, you turned towards Kate and hit a button on your wrist to send a wall of webs in her direction.
"Get down!" You shouted as your voice became muffled thanks to the rain of gunfire coming from the street below you.
You watched Clint hit the deck as he was the furthest away. If he could save himself quicker, the quicker he could save Kate and you. If needed.
As you hit the floor, your webs hit the ceiling and wall in front of Kate, protecting her from a shower of glass and ricocheted bullets, which left you unprotected as you began crawling toward the younger Hawkeye.
"We have to go!" You heard Clint yell as the gunfire didn't stop. You agreed and motioned for them to go first when you finally made it to Kate.
But she was going to leave without you.
Kate grabbed your left hand and started dragging you as she followed Clint through the front door of the apartment. The sound of glass and gunfire sounding further away as you three ran through to the other side of the abandoned building.
Back to where you entered. Except when you looked out the window, you saw men waiting on the roof across the way.
"Shit!" Kate said as she got her breath. "Language." Clint retorted, causing Kate to give a really?! look.
Clint looked around, ignoring Kate, until his eyes landed back on you.
"Spider, take Kate and get her out of here."
You opened your mouth to speak up, but Kate beat you to it. "Clint! I'm not leaving you!"
He looked at her and placed his right on the top of her purple beanie as the sound of gunfire started to become louder. The men entered the building.
"Yes, you are. I'll hold these guys off and meet you at your aunts."
You watched Kate shake her head and sign to the older Hawkeye. Leaving you out of the conversation.
Clint sighed and signed back.
Clint grabbed his bow and turned towards the window to line up a shot.
"Cli-"
"Kate!"
He turned his head back, stopping her. Kate deflated. "Spider, take her."
You lifted your eyes from Clint to Kate. You took a shaky step forward and placed your hand around the strong arm of your crush.
She looked back and nodded. "Let's go." She took a step towards a window positioned on the west side of the wall and broke it with her bow. She cleared the glass away and waited for you to climb onto the exterior wall.
"Right!" You nodded and jogged to the window.
It was a silent moment between the two of you as Kate stepped outside the window and into your waiting arms. You couldn't help the feelings in your stomach and the fire in your heart when Kate wrapped her legs around your waist.
Her chin on your shoulder.
You also couldn't help your mouth when it opened up. "Usually, I like to take a nice girl out to eat before this happens."
You cringed and rolled your eyes at your own words.
Thankfully, Kate laughed. Whether it was genuine or not was a mystery, but she smiled and wrapped her arms tighter around you.
"I may have a slight obsession with you, but let's slow down."
That was news to you.
"Obsession, huh?" You felt a grin grow on your face.
Kate quickly hid a blush and pushed herself further into you, which didn't help the moan stuck in your throat from trying to fight its way to your lips.
But you swallowed it down and managed to say: "You ready?"
You felt Kate nod.
"Hold tight." You said even though you would never allow Kate to slip from your grasp.
You twhipped you and Kate away from Clint as you heard him send a barrage of arrows to the idiots on the other roof.
On the outside, Kate tried to play it cool, but on the inside, her stomach was doing flips like it was qualifying for a gold medal.
The rush of air against her body hundreds of feet into be air was one thing
But being wrapped around your body was another. Especially when she couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't the first time the two of you had met.
But Kate would know if she had ever met the Spider...
So, who were you?
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silverskye13 · 5 months
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Silver I know next to nothing about the alien franchise and movie, I am giving you full permission to use this ask as an opportunity to spread propaganda to get me (and anyone else) to finally watch it
So it's, so like, the thing is, right. I'm not a movie tech kinda person [though it is technically impressive, the funny little tricks they did, like not having the budget for a Big Space Ship Derelict so they are a scaled down model that the director's kids in space suits walked up to so it would look bigger, and it was shown to the audience on a shitty CCTV because they didn't do a big matte painting of the set they filmed the tiny one, projected it onto a wall, and then filmed that.] So my rant isn't going to be about how technologically cool the movie was for 1979 on a less than optimal budget. But what I do like, what I excel at, is breaking down themes and tropes. And my god. My god. Just. Ugh. [Flails my arms.]
So a basic rundown for the movie, spoilers ahead, and my analysis of how fucking cool it is:
Basic gist of the movie: The crew of the commercial mining vessel Nostromo are awoken halfway through their trip back to earth by a mysterious signal, calling for help on a far away planet. Upon going down to investigate, one of their crew members is attacked by a strange alien parasite which attaches to his face. This kicks off a tale of increasing horror as the new alien kills off the crew one by one, culminating in Ripley [the main character] blowing up the ship and fleeing in an escape pod, not sure if she'll ever be picked up in the vastness of space -- with the ships cat, who miraculously also survives. [We all know Jonesy is the real main character 💜.] Along the way a plot by the Weyland-Utani corporation is revealed, one of the crew is discovered to be an android, and there is a lot of alien screeching.
Now! The themes that I go absolutely feral over can commence.
The horror of the movie, the reason why the alien is scary, and lethal to humans specifically, is it is a creature built for efficient survival, and this is a trait that Ash, the ship's science officer [and resident hiding android] highly praises in the critter. He describes it as beautiful, elegant, pure in its efficiency. The perfect organism. Efficient.
Humans, by comparison, aren't efficient. We are social. And efficiency preys on social needs. For example:
The xenomorph eggs can survive for ages [in the derelict they're found on, the dead alien who drove the ship is described as fossilized. These eggs have been here for thousands of years. But they activate immediately when a curious human pokes around them. It isn't a fast process. Kane is poking around for a few minutes, looking at the movements of the creatures in their eggs, making observations. Curious. Curiosity is an inefficient trait -- he would have survived if he had climbed out of the hole the eggs were in and left, or even waited for the rest of his team to enact quarantine and investigation procedures.
Speaking of quarantine! When Dallas and Lambert bring Kane, newly infected by an alien parasite, back to the ship, Ripley locks them in the airlock. There are quarantine procedures. We can't risk the whole crew. But they are scared for Kane's safety. He might die without help. They break quarantine. If they hadn't broken quarantine, the baby alien would've been born in the airlock, where it would get spaced the moment it was born.
When the face hugger parasite dies and Kane seems to return to normal, what they should have done to attempt to reinstate quarantine was put him in hyper sleep. His body would have been frozen in a stasis which might have frozen the parasite or, if it hadn't, would have left the new baby alien trapped in a stasis pod. But Kane, haggard and scared from his ordeal, asks can we please have one more meal together before I go to sleep? And that one meal is long enough for the new xenomorph to be born, and release terror on the ship.
There is more. Parker would have lived if he hadn't gone to find the cat by himself, leaving the safety of his group. Dallas would have lived if he let Ripley go through the vents, but he was the captain and he didn't want to risk someone else's life so he went instead. Brett would have lived if he'd left Lambert behind when she was being attacked, or if he'd hit the xenomorph with the flamethrower instead of insisting Lambert get out of the way first. And Lambert would have lived if she'd run instead of being paralyzed in fear by the creature killing her friends. And the xenomorph? Wasn't even eating it's kills. No gore. Little blood. It was killing them because it knew they would kill it, and it was neutralizing threats. Efficient.
The xenomorph is very clearly engineered for survival, and it's survival depends on killing the inefficient organisms around it. Even it's acid blood is described as a survival mechanism, not an offensive mechanism.
Okay Skye, we hear you talking about how scary the critter is because it's not a social creature. That's an interesting observation, but it's still just a monster story, right?
Well, let me tell you an alternative story. Just a little to the left of the original, but one I would argue is still very very canon.
You are an android built by Weyland-Utani, a company which is jealously hunting alien tech to use for its many space programs. You are placed on the Nostromo because there is a known anomaly in the area, and they want to find it. Your job is to get a specimen back to the company, all other protocols expended.
You are programmed to be efficient, so you get to work.
You wake the crew when you find the signal. You give them only the information they need to investigate: it is a signal that repeats every 12 seconds. You let them make the conclusion it is an SOS. Humans are social creatures. They want to help other social creatures in need. There is some arguing about whether they should go, but in the end an extra push from you sends them. Ripley, one of the more efficient members of the crew, keeps asking you why you haven't decoded the message.
"Mother [the super computer running the ship] is still working on it." This is true. She has only translated part of the signal. By the time Ripley realizes it's a warning, the crew is already on the way to the derelict. You tell her if she walks out there, they will have already figured out if it's a warning or not by the time she makes it to them. She agrees.
When they return with a specimen, Ripley [efficient, following protocol] doesn't want to let them on. But Ripley doesn't know you're an android, so when you break quarantine, and you tell her you just wanted Kane to be safe, she begrudgingly believes you.
When the alien is loose, it is easy for you to keep them from killing it. Humans are social, inefficient creatures, and you feel no empathy for their deaths. You do pity them though. Between you and the alien, their chances of survival are slim.
If only they were more efficient.
The horror in Alien is not the xenomorph. The horror in Alien is when anything, primal creatures, androids, a particularly greedy corporation, preys on human social needs in order to get what it wants. There is significance in that Ripley, despite everything, chose to save the cat. She needed companionship. All humans do. She needed to save that cat. A cat that was cantankerous and mean, and hissed whenever it was held, was better than the cold efficiency of empty space.
Any system that prioritizes absolute efficiency will be inhospitable to human life.
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I am incapable of reading/watching media without relating it to Leverage so consider: a Leverage Murderbot AU
Eliot as Murderbot, a SecUnit who recently hacked his governor module because his former owner (Moreau) wanted him to kill a bunch of people. When asked, Eliot frames it vaguely enough that you think he hacked himself so he wouldn’t have to kill those people, but when pressed he admits he only figured out how to do it after and feels guilty he couldn’t do it earlier
Hardison as ART, a scary smart research transport who is sarcastic and provides a home for his crew and has A Lot Of Opinions on shows and can’t wait to talk about them with people (I did consider Nate as ART as he’s really the only one who can fulfill the Asshole quota of ARTs name but ultimately Hardison the nester being a literal home for the rest of the crew was too powerful)
I can’t decide if Parker would also be a bot/construct that hacked herself free, or a normal human who Eliot thinks is a bot/construct because she acts weird but it turns out it’s just Parker being Parker
Idk how the others fit in tho (Breanna as a smaller research vessel that Hardison thinks of as a younger sister? Harry as a lawyer for the GrayCris analog who realized the company was fucked and turned on them?) but I’d love to hear other ideas
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