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faofinn · 1 year

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Day 10 - Short of Breath

@mediwhumpmay

Arthur liked school. It’d been overwhelming to start with, but having his sister there helped, and he soon settled in. The shyer one of the pair, he let Beth do all the talking and stuck around her, essentially acquiring friends by association. As he got older, and moved up into year 3 he was chattier and more confident, talking to others by himself and not needing his sister so much. They still did most things together, of course, especially PE. They were both sporty kids, having inherited Fao’s active genes, but Arthur had to admit he wasn’t feeling excited for it today. It was cold out, and he hadn’t been feeling great for a while. Tired, but his parents had told him he was probably getting poorly, that he could rest during the Christmas Holidays soon.

They were playing football, which wasn’t his favourite but was usually fun enough. However, today it was just rubbish. After running around after the ball a bit, he really didn’t feel good at all. His chest felt all weird and tight, and breathing was hard, but not like normal when he’d been running. It was all fast and uncomfortable, and he wobbled standing up. His sister spotted there was a problem before everyone else did, abandoning her game to go over to her brother.

“Arthur?” She asked, frowning at him.

“Don’t… don’t… feel well.” He whimpered, trying to catch his breath. He couldn’t breathe, and it was scary. What would happen? He needed to breathe, and he couldn’t. He was clutching at his chest, the fear rising and making it even harder to breathe.

Once the PE teacher realised there was a problem they came rushing over, calmly helping Arthur to the side of the field and getting him sat down. Beth sat with her brother, concern written on her face. The nurse came down quickly, and the decision was made to call an ambulance.

They called his parents, of course, to let them know what was going on, but both of them were stuck in a complex surgery and as much as they wanted to drop everything and go, they couldn’t. Fao asked them to call Harrison, knowing that although he was at work he might be able to get away enough to help, and if not then he could at least make sure Arthur was okay when he got to hospital.

Harrison was typing notes when his watch buzzed. It was the school calling, but not for his lot. He frowned as he answered. "Harrison speaking."

“Hi, Dr Cunningham. It’s the school, we’re calling about Arthur Blackwood?”

"Is he alright? Have you tried Fao or Ely?"

“Yeah, I’ve spoken to Fao, he asked me to call you. We’ve had to call an ambulance for him, I’m afraid. He’s had an incident during PE.”

"What's happened?" He moved the phone. "I need to go, one of the kids is sick."

It had to be bad for Harrison to even think about leaving. "The manager was in the ambo bay, they were going back for lunch. I'm sure they'd drop you off."

“Uh, I don’t know the details exactly, I’ve been told he became very breathless. He’s been seen by the nurse and they’re just waiting for an ambulance now. Obviously his sister is very upset…”

"I'll be over as soon as I can. Tell them I'm coming?"

“Of course. Thank you.”

"See you soon." He replied, standing up. "Tell Sam I'm going on my break. I'll be back with Arthur in a bit."

He made his way to the ambulance bay, finding the car quickly. Knocking on the door, he gave a sheepish smile, well aware he was pushing his luck.

"My godson has taken ill at school and a crew is already on their way to him…" He pulled a face. "Would it be possible at all if you were maybe heading that way?"

"Get in." He sighed. "Where are we off to?"

Harrison grinned. "Thanks. I'll buy you a coffee when you're next in."

He laughed as he pulled away. "I'll hold you to it. Let me radio control."

It wasn’t long before the ambulance turned up at school, with a worried looking Arthur and an even more worried looking Beth with him. The rest of the class had been moved away, to go and do something in the hall, to give the twins some space. They’d tried to get Beth to go with them, but she’d been having none of it, and refused to be anywhere other than at her brother’s side.

They'd not long started to assess Arthur when Harrison arrived, the manager having driven on blues to join them. Harrison was already out of the car before the ignition was off, sprinting across the carpark and swearing at his prosthesis. He was quickly shown to the field, and spotted the twins surrounded by teachers and medics. Arthur looked shocking, pale and worried, an oxygen mask on his face. Beth didn't look any better, worried beyond belief and almost breaking her brother's hand. Arthur had a neb up and running which, while not great, was good. It meant they'd started treating, had started helping, so he just had tohope it made the difference.

"Hey kids. Mum and dad couldn't get out of work, so I stole an ambulance and came to see you." Harrison winked, exaggerating the truth. "How you doing, squirt?"

Beth launched herself at him, relieved to e see a familiar face. She’d wanted her parents, her dad, but Harrison was family and he’d do just as well. “Uncle Tomcat!” She exclaimed. “Arthur’s really poorly.”

He pulled her in for a hug, holding her close. "He's gonna be okay, though. He's had you looking after him."

“He couldn’t breathe.”

"He's looking better now, the paramedics here have done a really good job too. Want me to talk you through every squiggle here?" He asked, moving to ruffle Arthur's hair as he sat next to him.

Arthur too, was relieved to see his uncle, leaning into him. He still felt bad, but the breathing wasn’t so bad as it had been. He could breathe, it was just really really hard. The paramedics had been nice and explained everything, and it hadn’t been so scary. “Am I dyin?” He managed to get out, looking up at his godfather with big, wide eyes.

"No, no. It probably felt like that, though, didn't it? You've been so, so brave." He said gently, running his fingers through his hair. "You've had an asthma attack, by the looks of things. Your dad has had a few, and I did when I wasn't very well when I went to live with grandad Steve. You've been so much braver than we were. I was crying the whole time."

He looked at him. He’d been crying, but had stopped now. He didn’t quite believe his godfather. “Braver than you an’ Dad?”

"A thousand percent! You can even ask grandad Steve, he'll tell you the same. I think we'll all have to go back to my work though." He pulled a face. "Especially me, I escaped to come see you guys."

“Will Mum and Dad be at your work?”

"They might not be there straight away, because they're dealing with someone else who's really poorly, but they're in the same building and they'll get there as soon as we can. We can ring them again together, if you’d like?"

“In s-surgery?” He asked, stumbling over his words.

"They are, yeah."

He nodded to himself. He wanted his parents, but Harrison was nice and he’d keep him safe. “Don’t mind going to your work.”

"Don't tell anyone I told you, but Jamie brought in cupcakes this morning. I think you both might deserve one, don't you?"

His eyes widened and he nodded, though he didn’t speak, focusing on his breathing again.

Harrison couldn't help glancing over the machine, watching everything carefully. "Has he just had the salbutamol?"

The paramedic next to him nodded. “Yeah, that’s right.”

"Do you mind if I have a listen?" He knew it was unorthodox, but he couldn’t help himself.

It was a crew that knew Harrison well, had worked with him a lot, and after a minute they nodded. “Go on then, if Arthur says it’s okay. We can bend the rules.”

"Can I? You know how nosey I am." He winked at Arthur. "You can even tell dad how much of a pain in your bottom I've been."

He nodded. “Yeah.”

"Thanks, kiddo." He pulled his steth out of his scrubs pocket and listened to his godson's chest. "Oh, that sounds so much better! You've done an amazing job, Arthur! Do you wanna have a listen?"

He shook his head. “Can I have a hug instead?” He asked.

Harrison had already pulled him in for one, squeezing him gently without making it harder for him to breathe. His hand was still in Arthur's hair, and he stoked it gently, his other rubbing his back. "You've been so, so brave, Arthur. I'm so proud of you, mum and dad are gonna be super, super proud of you.

“I was scared.” He admitted.

"It's okay to be scared."

“Is it?”

"Of course it is! More than okay." He sighed. "Can I let you into a secret?"

He nodded. “Yeah?”

"When school called me to say you weren't very well, I was scared. And I'm a big adult and do this every day."

“Oh.”

"And when I got hurt, just after dad did, I cried the whole time. Last time I had an ambulance, I was really really scared then too. I made Tai go back inside to get my tomcat and then come back to hold my hand the whole way." He lowered his voice to a stage whisper. "When I had my scans then, I got upset that Tai couldn’t be in the room, so I made him sing daft songs to me to make me feel better. The whole department heard about it, too."

Arthur nodded sagely. “Dad sings when we’re scared, like after a bad dream.”

"I would sing for you guys, but I'm a really bad singer."

“So’s mum.” Beth chipped in, less worried now that Arthur seemed better and Harrison was looking after him.

"I think uncle Finn might be the worst. Or Scout."

That made both of them laugh. “He’s a dog!”

"That's no way to talk about uncle Finn!" He teased.

There were more laughs, more giggles from both of them, Harrison having put them at ease, despite the situation. The paramedic spoke after a minute, interrupting their moment.

“Sorry, it’s good to hear you giggling away. We wanted to get moving into the ambulance now, if that’s okay? Then we can get to hospital and find mum and dad.”

Arthur agreed, wanting his parents more than the ambulance ride worried him. He was feeling better now, the stuff they’d given him had helped and breathing was much easier. Once they were inside, everyone settled, and Beth gravitated towards Harrison again. She was trying to be brave, like she always was, but it was hard to be brave all the time. She was worried about her brother. He was her other half, and he was never sick.

As Arthur was wheeled through to paeds, Harrison turned to Beth. He could see the worry on her face, as much as she tried to hide it behind her immense bravery, and he sighed.

"Come here." He grinned, picking her up and resting on his hip. "Only fair you get a free ride too, eh?"

She wrapped her arms around him, glad of the attention. Usually she’d protest being picked up, especially now. She was a big girl, she didn’t need to be carried. But right now, she didn’t feel much like a big girl. She felt small, and the hospital was loud and intimidating.

He pressed a kiss to her hair, making sure she was safe. "Do you wanna go with Arthur and get him settled on one of our beds, or do you want to come steal some cupcakes?"

“Stay with Arthur.” She said softly. “I have to look after him, I’m his big sister.”

"That's super brave of you." He said with a smile. "Do you want to come pick out a stuffed animal for the pair of you?"

“Do you have a bear? Or a wolf?”

"I'm not sure." He admitted. "Shall we go have a look?"

She hesitated. “Will I have to leave him?”

"Just for a second. The cupboard is just here, and they're just going down there."

Deep in thought, Beth finally agreed to pick out a friend, still bundled in Harrison’s arms. She found a little wolf and was quite pleased with herself, but the fear crept back in when they went back to see Arthur.

Fao and Ely appeared not long after, having managed to get free. They’d both rushed down from theatres, Fao’s hair a mess and Ely looking pale and worried. It wasn’t hard to find Harrison and their kids, and they slipped into the bay.

Harrison still had Beth on his lap, leaning over to stroke through his godson's hair as he spun stories and tall tales to keep them distracted. Arthur was doing so much better than when he'd first seen him, but they were still worried about him. He looked exhausted too, which wasn't surprising in the slightest. As awful as it sounded, he knew he was just a placeholder for their parents, that the kids wouldn't feel completely okay until they came down. He was just glad he'd been able to be there for them, though he knew he'd do it a thousand times over.

Ely gravitated straight to her son, at his side immediately and fussing, asking a million questions to make sure he was okay. He was thrilled to see her, a big smile on his face, as he tiredly reached out for a hug, which Ely gave him immediately.

“Oh, baby. You had me so worried.”

Fao, on the other hand, focused on Harrison and his daughter. He didn’t want to completely smother Arthur, his wife was doing s good enough job of that, he’d be able to fuss over him in a moment. Despite looking comfortable enough in Harrison’s lap, Beth had a look to her that was pure fear, and it broke Fao’s heart. He gathered her up in his arms, murmuring to her in Gaelic before he looked at Hars.

“God, Tomcat. What would we do without you?”

Harrison gave him a smile. "You'd have done the same for me."

“A thousand times over.” He agreed, kissing Beth’s cheek. “Did Uncle Tomcat look after you?”

Beth nodded. “Yeah. He looked after us lots.”

"They've been no bother." He ducked his head, feeling like a spare part. "I need to get back to the ED. I don't want to be too much here."

“Thank you so much, yeah? I knew when I told them to call you that you’d be the best person to be there.” Fao told him. “I can always count on you.”

Ely pulled away from her son for a moment to speak to Hars, and pulled him in for a hug. “Thank you, Hars.”

"You guys are welcome." He muttered, uncomfortable with the attention. "I'll catch you guys later, yeah?"

Arthur piped up, still very tired. “Will you come back?” He asked his godfather.

"Course I will." He promised. "But you've got mum and dad now, so I need to get back to work. You’ve been so, so brave. You should be super proud of yourself."

He nodded sleepily. “So long as you come back.” He mumbled. “Was brave cause of you.”

Harrison made a quiet noise. "Nah, you were so brave before I'd even got there! You've been super brave all day."

Fao reached out to squeeze his shoulder with the arm not holding Beth up. “Don’t want to take up anymore of your time when you’re supposed to be working, but I’ll text you, give you updates. You can always sneak back in, too.”

"Thanks, Fao. I'll catch you later."

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autism-swagger · 2 years

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Why are the only Scream 5 fanfics on ao3 oneshots, incest, or Billy Loomis and/or Stu Macher x reader

#can people PLEASE not ship incest for 5 minutes 🙏🙏#please I’m begging 🙏🙏🙏🙏#but seriously though #where’s the several chapter long post canon fic centering around Sam and Tara repairing their relationship with hurt/comfort??#do I have to do everything myself around here????#actually I just finished a drawing that kind of fits that criteria #the other day I was struck with the thought of Sam helping Tara with her asthma attacks and Tara helping Sam with her hallucinations #I nearly fell over and died #then went into a fugue state and now three days later I’m starting at a fully rendered drawing with a complete background and everything #*staring #I’m considering posting it #unfortunately I get embarrassed to have interests

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moonstruckme · 2 months

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since it's currently flooding where i live, i'm gonna request firefighter!marauders or emt!marauders (whatever works) saving reader who is trapped in her house with the flood being past the chest or something

andddddd reader has asthma, if ur okay with that? (i have terrible asthma and it's so so annoying honestly)

anyway, thank you for writing all of these fics of yours! they are all so amazing!!!

(also, can i be 🌼 anon?)

Hi lovely, thanks for letting me do just James for this! And ofc you can be that anon <3

cw: water rescue, asthma attack, I did do research but I feel like this can’t be accurate so sorry about that

firefighter!James x fem!reader ♡ 589 words

You wait until you hear the boat motors getting close again before you start to crawl out the window.

“There!” you hear someone shout, and you nearly collapse with the relief of not having to use your air to call out. The boat rumbles closer, and then a fireman with sweetheart eyes and a mop of curly hair crushing out from beneath his helmet is reaching for you with both hands.

“Hi, there,” he says, grabbing you around the waist and lifting you the rest of the way out. You brace yourself by putting your hands on his shoulders (his very impressive shoulders, you can’t help but notice, which make you remember how your own clothes are stuck damply to your skin from the chest down). Your lungs burn beneath his hands, no better or worse for his touch. “Is it just you in there?”

“Yeah,” you wheeze. Another firefighter settles one of those aluminum blankets you’re always seeing on TV around your shoulders. “Just me.”

“Alright,” he says, dark eyes growing troubled as he processes your onerous breaths. “Are you okay?”

The pain in your chest worsens as you forcibly expel another breath, dragging in a hasty inhale. “My inhaler got ruined.”

The man’s expression clears just before his brow creases. “You’re having an asthma attack?”

You nod urgently.

“Alright, okay. Come here, let’s sit down.”

He pulls you to the back of the boat, guiding you down onto the rubbery floor while someone else passes him a medical bag. Your knees fold towards your chest automatically, some useless instinct to protect the part of you that’s hurting. It does nothing.

“Have you had asthma attacks before?” he asks you, digging through the bag. Someone starts driving the boat forward. You start to relax when you see him pull out a mask attached to an air compressor, your salvation.

“Yes.”

“Compared to the other attacks you’ve had before, how badly would you rate this one on a scale of one to ten?”

“Six.” You answer without hesitating, familiar with this line of questioning.

“Alright, lovely.” He finishes affixing the hose to the nebulizer, setting the mask to your face and turning on the air compressor. “Just breathe in for me.”

You do. The relief isn’t instant, but it may as well be. You feel heaps better just knowing the medicine is working.

You must look visibly calmer, because the man across from you smiles. It looks at home on his face, and the little crinkles which appear at the corners of his eyes suggest he does it often.

“There we go,” he encourages. You hope your expression conveys the appropriate gratitude as you take the mask from him, holding it to your own face. “I’m James. You were trapped in there for a while, huh?”

You nod, and he laughs at your weary look.

“I’m sorry.” James gives your shoulder a friendly squeeze. His face is remarkably cheery for someone who’s been tasked with boating around and rescuing people all day; then again, as a rescuee, you can see the value of a bright spot in the murk left behind by the floor. As soon as you get this mask off, you think you owe him about a million thanks. “I’m sure it’s been really difficult, but we’ve got food here you can have in a bit, and that thermal blanket should help warm you up quickly enough. Just keep breathing into that thing for another few minutes, love, and then we’ll get you all fixed up.”

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samkerrworshipper · 1 year

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My Masterlist

Leah Williamson -

seeing her tonight, it's a bad idea right?

just some friends with benefits smut that’s ends with confessions of love

medication

r stops taking their anxiety medications during the euros finals to get rid of three side effects… but what happens when it seriously effects them on the pitch

let me love you

r struggles after her and leah break up after some drunken kisses with other people… can they mend it all before r’s health is seriously affected?

the call up

when r gets the news notification from the Spanish federation regarding the forced call up the espwnt

safe and sound

r having suicidal thoughts and leah just being there to support them and be there for them

playgirl

friends to lovers smut w cocky as fuck playgirl leah who secretly only has eyes on r

losing

what happens when r loses for the first time?

asthma attacks

what happens when r has a asthma attack whilst Leah’s out for the night?

i will wait for you.

r gets injured in the champions league final and finds herself pushing out everyone, is it to late to make up with the people that matter most?

lost cause

r doesn’t want to do life anymore… leah’s there to make it all better and let her know how loved she is

tourniquet

r struggles with self harm and Leah helps her with it in theee different examples

pain, sweet, pain.

leah’s return from her acl injury is nothing like what she wanted nor expected, but her team are there to help her up when she’s down.

scars and all

leah finds out about her girlfriends past mental health issues

beautiful girl series (leah + jordan as coparents)

part 1 -> close you’re eyes: leah and jordan’s daughter is struggling after their breakup

part 2 -> have no fear: jordan and r have a heart to heart and somethings are revealed

part 3 -> the monsters gone: leah confronts her daughter

part 4 -> she’s on the run: r runs away

part 5 -> and your moms are here: reconciliation

part 6 -> beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl: final part

Lucy Bronze -

mamacita

jersey smut with lucy after winning

daddy?…. sorry

just a little drabble about dom daddy lucy

a shoulder to cry on

lucy is there for r after she has a career shattering injury

euro champs and abs

lucy’s prize for winning the euros

leg shakes and body aches pt.2^

after care for the fic above

epiphany

random grief drabble - more r focused then lucy tbh but if u want a good cry then readdd

Alexia Putellas -

movie night

cheek voyeurism smut with r and alexia at team movie night

lap dance

stripper smut with Alexia after the world cup

on the sidelines

wag Alexia on the sidelines for wnba girlfriend

i remember everything

r struggles with eating disorder… alexis is to absorbed in her own life to notice.. what are th consequences?

the party

songfic based off the song the party & the after party by the weeknd… pure filthy smut

exile

songfic based off the song exile by taylor swift

the last time (pt.2^)

Alexia tries to apologise to r after what happened at the club… another songfic based off the song the last time by taylor swift

between thighs

just a little quickie fic

back between villages

alexia tears her acl.

sugar, baby

u have a little arrangement with la reina

bar-ca

babyfic with newborn alexia and r as parents

rockin’ around the christmas tree

fluffy kidfic with christmas with the putellas’ family

underneath the surface

alexia finds out about your endometriosis

Sam Kerr -

cock blocked

team night with the arsenal girls who r keeping you from being thoroughly fucked by your girlfriend

smut headcanons

just smutty dom headcanons with sammy k

a whore’s punishment

literal smutty porn without plot… that’s it.

concealed

little drabble about sam concealing a strap during a photo shoot

the phone call

based off the scene in the uswnt doc with the different call ups except sam x reader coded

acls

based off sam’s acl injury :(

Katie Mccabe -

nails

katie comes home from ireland camp with a new set of nails and she shows you just how much she can do even without using her hands or

Mapi Leon -

massage therapy

mapi gets injured… reader tries to resolve some of the tension in her body

warmed

cockwarming… that’s about it

las 15

based off of the spanish players boycott pre world cup

Alexia Putellas x Reader x Lucy Bronze -

twos a company, threes a crowd

| pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 |

pure filth between my three girlies

Leah Williamson x reader x Lia Wälti -

all yours

just a little friends to lovers angsty fic about lia and leah getting together when the three have always been best friends and r struggling with it

Mapi Leon x Reader x Ingrid Engen -

long distance

touch starved and anxious reader who’s been away from mapi and ingrid for a while and needs a reminder just how much the love her

Vivianne Miedema x Beth Mead -

bad days

Viv has a bad anxiety day… Beth’s there for her no matter what

Kristie Mewis x Sam Kerr -

pinky promise?

little anxiety fic about kristie stressing about meeting Sam’s parents for the first time

wet dream

kristie can’t sleep.. sam has a wet dream..

Lia Wälti x Alexia Putellas -

captains connection

sometiems the captains are the ones who need the most help after games..

auswnt -

togetherness

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3

just some tillies angst and fluff

arsenal women -

found family

r goes out in the snow and gets really sick, but is scared to bother their arsenal teammates, two captains show up at their door after them not showing up to training for a few days and help them out and show them just how much the team loves them

homework help

when r moves to england she struggles with the adjustment of new school… arsenal team are there for her though

sticker chart

r and kyra r the pranksters of the team… but what happens when they take it too far and the arsenal parents seperate them as a result

revival

arsenal reader has been struggling more than she’d ever admit.. when it becomes to much she attempts to take her life but her teammates refuse to let her kill herself when she has so much more to live for.

hard times

arsenal reader struggles with PTSD and new year’s eve is a particular struggle… but the arsenal girlies are there for her even if she doesn’t know she needs them

narcotics

reader has a drug problem.. her arsenal teammates help her to realise and overcome it

how did it end?

suicidal ex-arsenal reader who retired after leaving the club

barca women -

suffer in silence

r struggles with self harm after the problems with the spanish federation.. mapi, ingrid, lucy and alexia are there to pick up the broken pieces

exhausted

insomnia reader with concerned alexia

initiation orgy universe

initiation:

pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3

celebrations:

pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3

#woso #woso community #lionesses #leah williamson #marry me rn #sam kerr #kristie mewis #lucy bronze #sam kerr x reader #auswnt #lucy bronze x reader #leah williamson x reader #alexia putellas #katie mccabe #mapi leon

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devirnis · 5 months

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Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday 🤧

Asthma attack fic is coming along, and I'm trying to convince myself that everything isn't garbage. Progress that I hate is better than no progress!

By his third sneeze, Buck is forced to turn off the saw if he doesn’t want to risk cutting erratically and risk injuring their patient. “Chim, switch,” he manages to get out between two more sneezes. The saw is taken out of his hands – he assumes by Chimney, but his eyes are watering so badly that it’s kind of hard to see. “Buck, what’s wrong?” Bobby asks, somewhere to his right. “I don’t –” Another sneeze. “I don’t know.” “Could be something in the air,” Bobby says. “Eddie, get him outside – we can finish up here.” Buck flaps his arm, an attempt to say that he’s fine and doesn’t need a babysitter, but Eddie just grabs his arm and loops it through his own, and starts leading him out of the warehouse.

tagged by @bidisasterevankinard @exhuastedpigeon @underwaterninja13

tagging @bigfootsmom @homerforsure @princessfbi @spaceprincessem @sibylsleaves @eddiebabygirldiaz @honestlydarkprincess @giddyupbuck @jeeyuns @bvckandeddie @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @wildlife4life @messyhairdiaz @shitouttabuck @sunshinediaz @lemonzestywrites @rainbow-nerdss @father-salmon @daffi-990 @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @watchyourbuck @tizniz @smallandalmosthonest 💜

#seven sentence sunday #writing tag games #911 wip #mywip #asthma attack fic

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jasmines-library · 4 months

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Could you do a Winchester sister fic about her having a bad asthma attack and not being able to breathe and the boys get all scared

Breathe

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Note: First off i want to apologise for taking forever to write this. or anything. but we're back!

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Asthma attack.

Honestly not too sure how I feel about this one….but it’s my first time writing in weeks so pls bear with.

⛧ SPN MASTERLIST ⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Your fist collided with the Demon’s face as you swung around to face her. If the insistent throbbing in your hand wasn’t an indicator of how hard you had hit her, the stream of dark droplets falling from her nose, and the grunt she made as she went careening sideways were. She bounced back quickly though. Much quicker than you would have liked. She scowled, her black eyes narrowing as you swung a fist back in retaliation forcing you to lean back uncomfortably on your heels. You heard a clatter to your left as an array of cutlery went flying across the floor as Sam managed to tackle the demon he was dealing with. The woman in front of you glared at you with malice as she heard her counterpart go down. With a little shrug, and a petty smirk, you continued to dance around her, trying to get a good stab at her with your angel blade.

When you heard Dean breathe out a sigh of relief as he managed to deal with the latter of the ones he had been fighting, you didn’t allow yourself to get distracted and keep your focus on her. Distraction is a hunters number one enemy. But you can feel yourself getting tired. You can feel the burn in your muscles and the ache in your lungs as it grows harder and harder to suck air into them.

But then she made a mistake: She twisted to the side, raising her arm to swing a left hook, but left her right side open. It gave you the perfect opportunity, and you plunged the demon knife into her. She lit up in a spark of yellow before falling to the ground.

It was straight after that that everything sort of…hit you. Now that you weren’t focused on ‘not-dying’, the tightness in your chest was more noticeable. And that made you panic. And of course, that made everything much worse. Clutching one hand to your chest and the other against the wall, you tried to get in another breath, only for it to feel as though it had been cut short. When Sam came through the door, his self-accomplished grin was cut short as he saw you struggling to breathe.

“Hey, Hey.” Sam rushed over to you, his hand resting on your shoulder as you looked up at him, wide-eyes and breathing in short, frantic gasps. “Hey. Calm down. You’re fine. Breathe”

You try to listen to Sam. Try to get your lungs to open up and to breathe normally. But they are stubborn and seem to do the exact opposite.

Sam’s heart seems to break a little when you look up at him. “Where’s your inhaler?”

You blink. Your chest heaves. “Car-”

Your older brother curses mentally, and you think that he calls out to Dean, because he’s rounding the corner one second and is hovering above you the next.

“Dean…her inhaler. It’s in the car. Side pocket.” Sam tells his older brother, his tone firm and authoritative. Dean nodding, his hair falling over his eyes as he scrambles back out of the house, swerving around the fallen demons to get to the car as quickly as he can.

Sam’s hands remain on your shoulders. His large hands take up most of your shoulder as they rest on the coloured flannel of your shirt. They’re calloused and rough, but seem to act almost as a safety blanket keeping you grounded. He shifts one of them to your chin, pinching it gently between his thumb and his index finger as he lifts up your chin. His irises seem to shift in the light as he gets you to look at him. Hazel brown, then green and back to hazel again. They’re glossy, concerned, but hold a sense of ease. Protectiveness.

“You’re okay, Kiddo. Just breathe. Dean will be back any second now.” Sam reassures, although he is unsure if he’s trying to reassure you or himself more. He’s panicking. And, he's beginning to grow antsy because Dean has yet to return from the car which he parked so impossibly far away. Damn stealth.

An impossible amount of time later less than a minute Dean comes skidding to a halt, inhaler in hand. Dean has already shaken it and removed the cap, so he fumbles around to get it in your hand. Once your fingers wrap around the plastic your brain goes into autopilot. The plastic is quickly brought to your lips and the medicine pumped into your lungs as you inhale deeply. It doesn’t take long for the medicine to work its magic. You feel the burn in your lungs subside slightly, and a flood of air comes rushing into your lungs as you breathe deeply, leaning against the wall as you collect yourself, taking a moment to yourself.

Dean raises a hand towards you, brushing the hair out of your face. “You okay sweetheart?”

“I……” You take another deep breath. “Yea. sorry.”

“No need to apologise, kid.” Dean says “As long as you’re alright.”

“I’m fine.” you say, taking one last puff of the inhaler before replacing the cap and securing it in your pocket.

“You have seriously got to start remembering to bring that with you.” Sam reprimands, always the sensible one.

You sigh. “I know. But it’s so annoying to carry around.”

“We know it is, sweetheart, but you kind of need it”

“I know…..”

“So you’ll bring it with you?”

“No promises.”

Dean pinches the bridge of his nose. He swears you give him more and more grey hairs everyday. You just grin up at him and he can’t help but shake his head affectionately at your stubbornness.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

SPN TAGS:

@defonotashleyr @aestheticdaisies @xxrougefangxx

@hell-o-kittys @inlovewhithafairytale @harleycao

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

#supernatural x reader #supernatural x sister reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x sister reader #dean winchester x little sister reader #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x little sister reader #sam winchester x sister reader

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lexirosewrites · 4 days

Note

Slick Sundaaaaaaay!

I see a lot of ABO steddie fics featuring Omega Steve who is self conscious for one reason or another because he doesn't have a typical Omega physic and/or behaviors (which is super tasty yum yum) but I live the idea of Eddie being the more swlf conscious one.

Like, Eddie who is not deceptively strong for his size (he has a little bit of natural muscle tone as an Alpha but he never puts it to good use), and who is a little weasel who like to agrivate people but runs away from any kind of real conflict and doesn't have a strong manly scent or any desire for a high powered job to take care of an Omega unless you count is half fleshed out dreams of being a rock star.

Dealers choice of how it happens but Steve basically asks Eddie if he would be interested in couting the Omega and Eddie isn't blind, stupid, or heartless so he jumps on the chance to be with the Omega of his dreams but very quickly finds himself self agonizing about how to be the "right kind" of Alpha for Steve.

So decides he needs to start working out so he can keep his Omega safe even if he knows Steve is more than capable of taking care of himself in that department but his first workout sends him into an asthma attack for the ages so he decides it's more important for Steve to have a living Alpha than a fit one.

There's nothing much he can do about his wet concrete and grass scent which on paper sounds super manly but mostly just smells like a suburban morning so he goes down the employment seeking rabbit hole. He applies for what feels like every Alpha-y job in the Hawkins area but his reputation proceeds him and he never makes it past the first interview. Eventually he gets a call back from a place he applied for after reading the word "painter" and wrote down the number in his notebook with no notes (he didn't say he had a good system) but it turns out to be someone two towns over looking for someone to freelance the painting of dnd and other such figures to sell in a games shop two towns over. It's an ideal job for Eddie but it's deeply entrenched in his need shit and not the kind of thing he was looking for to impress Steve and show him he can provide for him and their future pups. He still takes it because even if it doesn't pay a tone, whatever he DOES make can go toward pampering his Omega and saving up.

It all comes to a head when they go out and Eddie is feeling pretty down on himself after so many failed attempts to "improve" for his Love. Some guy is hitting in Steve while Eddie is RIGHT THERE even though Steve has said no many times and has told him he's there with his Alpha. The guy just keeps leaving and coming back and on his fourth return to their spot Eddie just launches is fist no warning into the guy's face.

That was NOT what he meant to do, he was just getting so fed up and territorial and he was gonna really tell the guy to piss off but the little goblin inside him made him throw a pretty pathetic punch that results in a busted knuckle for him and a slightly bruised and irate beta in front of them.

Steve drags him out and takes him back to the trailer, grumbling the whole time about "stupid Alphas and their stupid instincts" and finally snaps and asks Eddie what the hell has been up with him lately. Eddie just blinks his big dumb eyes at Steve as he points out the job search and the asthma hospital visit and the more expensive gifts and finally asks why he's been acting like such a knot head.

So they talk it out and Steve makes Eddie hold him in his lap so he can tell him all the ways, the ways that matter to Steve, that Eddie takes care of him. Tells him how he doesn't need an Alpha to fight for him but he's never had an Alpha offer him sanctuary like Eddie does. Eddie who never makes him feel stupid for his questions and reads his assigned books to him even though the Alpha is behind on his own school work and let's him build a nest in his bed.

Tells him that he appreciates Eddie trying to make money for their future family, loves that even, but what use does he have for fancy jewlery or a full bouquet of roses? Like, he doesn't even like jewlery that much and he gets much better use of the brand new wool socks Eddie thrifted for him last month in an Indiana winter and the wild flowers he brought him for their first date are much easier to press than huge roses.

Just a series of misinformed adventures for looser Alpha Eddie that end in comical disaster and his Omega who is utterly charmed his his earnest attempts to be a good Alpha but who really just wants a loving mate and partner.

oh i love this😭😭😭 Eddie just wants to be the perfect mate and alpha for his omega, meanwhile Steve can’t figure out what’s going on with the love of his life who is already perfect to him!!!!

#slick sunday #steddie #steddie omegaverse #omega steve harrington #alpha eddie munson #steve x eddie #a/b/o #omegaverse #my asks #anon asks

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cozage · 1 year

Note

Hello, how was your day? I wondered if you could maybe do a law x gn reader fic where the reader gets an asthma attack and doesn’t have their inhaler on them (it can be in a room i really don’t mind, no need to go too complicated). I really adore the way you write, and as an asthmatic little person, it would make me real happy if you could write it!

thanks in advance

Inhale, Count to Ten, Exhale

Characters: gn reader x Law Cw: asthma attack Word count: 470

“Come on!” Shachi yelled, sprinting ahead of you. “They’re right behind us!”

“I’m trying,” you wheezed. It was getting hard to breathe, but you were so close to the Polar Tang.

A blue hue spread out across your surroundings, and suddenly you were teleported to the couch in the common room of the Polar Tang.

“They’re back!” Law shouted. “Depart immediately!”

You began coughing, trying to clear your airway for more oxygen. But it wasn’t enough. Your chest was so heavy, every breath was a challenge.

Law noticed your struggle, and immediately came to sit down next to you. “Can you breathe?”

You shook your head, still in a fit of coughs.

“Where’s your inhaler?” He asked.

You tried to speak, but you couldn’t get any words out. All of your energy was focused on getting air to your lungs. But they just weren’t working well enough.

“It’s okay,” Law said, grabbing a pen from the coffee table. “Room!”

Your inhaler suddenly appeared in his hand, and he quickly uncapped it and passed it off to you.

You took a deep breath, filling your lungs with as much oxygen as you could manage, and then exhaled. Putting your lips around the tube, you pressed down and took another deep breath in.

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.” Law counted out loud as you thought of them, and then you exhaled everything you could, clearing your lungs and your mind.

He sat with you, observing your breathing carefully for a minute.

“Do you need another one?” He asked. Your breathing seemed normal, but he wanted to hear your input.

“I’m okay,” you said. “Thank you.”

“No big deal. Just glad you’re okay.”

You gave him a knowing smirk. “You were worried.”

Law clicked his tongue in annoyance, and you knew you were right.

“How’d you know, though?” you asked. “How’d you know where it was?”

“I have them stashed throughout the ship.” His cheeks turned a light rose color. “Just in case you need them.”

“Trafalgar Law!” You were so giddy with him, and you weren’t going to let this little act of love go. “You are such a romantic!”

“I am not!” he snapped, his blush deepening, having been caught and called out. “I just worry sometimes.”

You hummed in delight, snuggling up to him on the couch. “That’s enough to be a romantic by your standards.”

You could feel him shift beneath you, trying to act like he disagreed. But you knew he was only moving to get more comfortable, so the two of you could lay there as long as you liked.

He may be able to trick everyone else in this world, but you knew how much he cared about his crew. You knew how much he loved you.

#one piece #one piece imagine #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #one piece x you #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #law x reader #trafalgar law x y/n #✧˚law✧˚#cozage

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soft-girl-musings · 9 months

Text

Cry (MK Spring Bingo #1)

Marc Spector x Reader

cross-posted to ao3

tags: panic/anxiety attacks, possibly inaccurate description of an emergency room visit (i don't remember the exact process i borrowed from my own experience bc i was sick… in the ER…), no use of y/n

wc: 1,356

fic summary: Three times Marc told you it was okay to cry, and one time you returned the favor.

A/N: Finally got around to writing something for someone besides jake lockley, bless. once again this is self-indulgent, but if anything hits home for you i'm glad <3 (based on Adam Melchor's "Cry" , which is the most marc-coded piece of music i've ever heard. in this essay i will)

_____________________

The first time came out of nowhere.

Nothing was wrong per se; no major injury or crisis had come up. All you knew was that you were frozen in the corner of your room, hot tears streaming down your face as your mind raced between a million different things.

“Sweetheart, have you seen my–” Marc’s request stopped the moment he saw you frozen in the darkened room, gripping the sleeves of your shirt as you bit your lip so hard you risked giving yourself another reason to cry.

“I just need a minute,” your voice came out trembling and heavy, as if too many syllables would cause the tears to fall with greater force. Not that you knew how to stop them, or how they even started.

Quick strides across the room brought Marc to your side. His warm hands wrapped around yours, cold and losing color from digging into your arms.

Words were never his strong suit; Marc’s a man of few, usually letting his presence and actions suffice. So when faced with consoling you against some invisible threat, he could almost hear the sound of his own heart breaking in tandem with your staggered breath.

So he stood there. Until your fingers relaxed and entwined with his, he stood there until he could guide you to the floor. Arms wrapped around your shoulders, he cradled you as you continued to cry.

“This is so stupid,” you groaned as you wiped your face with your sleeve. “So fucking… ugh.”

“Hey,” he shushed you. “Not stupid. You’re feeling what you’re feeling.”

“But I don’t know why,” you choked out. It was hard enough being so distraught; not having a valid reason for it made everything hurt more.

“You don't have to justify it. Don't have to do anything but just… be here.” A hand to your temple eased your head against his chest. “I'm here, as long as you need me to be.”

This was all the permission you needed to let another rush of tears spill down your cheeks, soaking his shirt. He didn't mind.

___________________

The second time was in the emergency room.

You'd never struggled to catch your breath like this before; a common cold turned south and triggered long-dormant childhood asthma, making your lungs betray the rest of your body. Marc drove you to the ER when your hollow coughing didn't let up for the third day in a row. Head spinning and chest aflame, you were rushed to the back as soon as Marc told them you couldn't breathe.

“You've got to breathe steady, honey.”

“I'm trying,” you muttered around the medicated tube in your mouth. It had to be almost 3 in the morning; your body ached like crazy and you didn't catch a word of what the nurse told you to do with your medication. All you knew was that you were cold, exhausted, and grateful to have Marc there to time your breathing.

But even with his hand holding yours, you still felt tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Every inhalation brought medicine to your airways, but the ragged sensation resonated through your chest and made your body ache more.

“I'm so tired,” you finally said around the device. With that, your tears fell faster than you could swipe at them. Your frown pushed the device from your mouth, but you didn't care.

Marc sprang up, catching the equipment when your grip faltered. He said nothing; instead, he climbed onto the bed with you, leaning your back against his chest and taking your hand in his once more, bringing the medication back to your lips. You let him bear your weight, immediate relief washing over you as he took over keeping the device steady with one hand and gently dabbing a tissue at your cheek with the other.

“Nothing wrong with a few tears, honey. Means you’re alive.”

When you finally went home, the fire in your lungs extinguished, he held you again until you fell asleep.

_____________________

“.....The movie just started.”

(The third time was on the living room couch.)

You had finally talked Marc into watching La La Land with you (with the promise of his getting to choose the next movie night film, of course). You were barely 30 seconds into the opening number when you'd started crying, eyes glued to the screen as dozens of up-and-comers danced and sang about their dreams to make it in the industry.

“They haven't said anything.”

“They're saying everything.”

“He's dancing on a car.”

“Because he's excited!”

“Why did they stop traffic to dance?”

You didn't hear the rest of his quips, too engrossed in the scene. The colors, the music, and the highly impractical interstate choreography had a way of getting to you ever since you first saw this movie. Meanwhile, Marc sat with his arms crossed and eyebrows knit together as he tried to follow along.

When you noticed his body language, you reached for the remote and paused the movie. “Do you… want to watch something else?”

Marc's face fell when he realized this new batch of tears wasn’t because of the movie, but because of him. The thought of making your cry hit like a punch to the gut.

He took the remote from you, moving closer to your side. “Nice try, but you're not getting out of it that easily. I need your commentary if I'm gonna keep up.” He hit play and choked down every criticism as he saw your face light up, tears of joy brimming during the remaining 2 hours of the film.

The next morning, while making breakfast, you could have sworn you heard Marc humming Another Day of Sun under his breath.

_____________________

As you'd grown closer, you began to know Marc as your rock, your steady landing place when you had thoughts and feelings too big to deal with on your own. He never had to say much to be there for you. He kept you tethered and together, happy to be of service no matter how ugly your hardships felt.

It was only a matter of time before you saw a crack in his foundation.

You got home late one night, a thunderstorm hot on your heels. You had shrugged off your coat and shoes, calling out to Marc to see if he was home. No response.

You checked each room diligently, until you found him sitting on the corner of the bed.

“Marc?” You asked softly, walking toward him. You knelt in front of him, and the sight of his face twisted into an unfamiliar expression, a steady stream of tears spilling from his reddened eyes, was more than you could bear.

The first time came out of nowhere.

“Can you give me your hands, Marc?” He complied, his breath short and his eyes fixed on the storm pelting the window with sheet after sheet of rain. His vision darted between drops of water and streaks of lightning. The room shook with the echoes of thunder as the worst of the storm hit.

“Hey,” you urged him. “Just be here. With me.” Your thumb traced his wrist as you tried to stay calm. “Can you breathe with me, Marc?” You sat up on your knees. He nodded, slowly but surely matching the pace of your breath.

You didn't know what was on his mind, only that it was racing. You couldn't tell what had him so worked up, only that his breath escaped him even as you counted to ten again, and again, unrelenting in your focus on him. You had no idea what made your rock, your anchor, cry like this.

Maybe he'd tell you later; maybe it'd remain a mystery. None of that mattered in the moment. All that mattered was the rhythm of your breath as the rain let up; the way his tears drenched your sleeves when you dabbed at his flushed cheeks; the steady thrum of his heart as his body relaxed beside yours. All that mattered was how, with your chest pressed to his back as you lay on top of the bedspread, he let you hold him for a change.

_____________________

event tags: @moonknight-events @spacecowboyhotch @juneknight

addtl tags: @mrs-lockley @lunar-ghoulie @shadystarlightgentlemen @casa-boiardi (lmk if you'd like to be added/taken off this wee tag list)

#moon knight #marc spector #marc spector x reader #marc spector x gn!reader #moon knight fanfiction #marc spector fanfiction #marc spector/reader #marc spector/gn!reader #my works #mk spring bingo 2024 #moonknightevents #youtube link

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perdidosbucky-yyo · 26 days

Text

𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓪

Part🥀

Main Masterlist

Pairing: Best Friend!Steve Rogers x Plus size! Fem!Reader (no mention of ethnicity)

Summary: Trapped in a prison of your husband and your mother’s expectations, your only comfort is the ghost in your garden, haunted by the memory of your best friend.

You thought you would never see him again but when he unexpectedly returns home from the war after 12 years, you’re not prepared for what’s to come.

wc: 6k

Warnings: Feminism doesn’t exist in this fic, the story is set between 1950-1965, fertility issues, detailed mention of miscarriage, body shaming (not from Steve), implied boner and handjob, violence, terms of endearment (I got carried away jsjs), detailed sexual abuse attempt (not from Steve), domestic violence, flashbacks and small time jumps (I hope it’s not confusing lmao), changing POVs (again, I hope it’s not confusing lmao), please let me know if I missed anything! more warnings to be added in part II.

a/n: This is my entry to @witchywithwhiskey 's Slasher Summer writing challenge, with the prompts: small town and stalker. I've poured my heart and soul into this fic, I had so many ideas I had to cut the fic in half so part two will be posted next week (but it won't be part of the wc given that it ends today hehe) I hope you like it 👉🏼👈🏼

This is not beta'd any and all mistakes are my own.

“Move” your mother reprimanded.

You wanted to, you did, but your body wouldn’t listen, your chest was so heavy you felt trapped under the covers.

The sky was so blue, it reminded you of the blue puppies you once had in the garden. You cried all night when you came home from a trip to find them wilted and forgotten by your husband, they were the same shade as those eyes… every time you tended to them, it was like he was looking at you.

“Speak! Do something!” she hissed, the blue sundown behind her, tainted the room slate, and her black eyes became even darker. You noticed as she screamed in your face that her breath smelled of cigarettes, normally you’d be cowering in fear or trying to appease her but you remained frozen not even blinking.

Letting out a snort she wipes the sweat off your forehead with a cloth, “Look at yourself”, the woman grimaced, did you truly look so ghastly?

You wished she would just leave you, your mother was a busy woman, she had other things to do than take care of you… you hate to bother her.

“if you get any bigger people will know”, you vaguely hear her words, you tried to care but the sky was so beautiful, so peaceful, something you appreciated given your current state. Your whole body ached and nausea kept you awake every night, you were exhausted, and yet sleep never came.

“You reap what you sow darling, you must've done something to dese- You should be thanking God John hasn’t left you yet! he won’t put up with this for long, he wants a wife, not this” Her hand points to you in bed with a scowl on her lips.

Tears start streaming down your face, you wish the shadows in your room swallowed you. As saliva gathers in your tongue you feel like you’re about to throw up but your body still wouldn’t move.

She’s still rambling on about your failures as a woman, pacing around the room, so you take a frame from under your pillow, it was a photo of him and you.

Sophomore year, both of you sat on a bench just outside of your high school, he looked so handsome, you remember it well. Right after fall break, he wore a wool waistcoat that was much bigger for his skinny figure, and his hair was perfectly combed.

Both of you smiled from ear to ear, he was hunched over while you sat up straight with your knees resting on his.

It felt like it was a lifetime ago, instead of 12 years, you didn’t particularly enjoy high school, but Steve Rogers made it memorable.

Once upon a time you lived in the same neighborhood since you were 8 years old, the first time you saw him he was having an asthma attack as he crashed his bike into some trash cans. You ran to his side and quickly introduced yourself, his scrawny hand shook yours back before you took the white ribbon from your dress and pressed it against his bleeding forehead.

He instinctively reached for his head and your fingers grazed him for just a second, eyes so focused on yours, you realized he was scared, so your other hand reached to comfort him… sometimes you think you’ve held hands ever since, and neither of you could let go.

You couldn’t be separated even if your parents threatened and bargained, inseparable would be an understatement. After the accident, Steve found a kindred spirit and comfort in your friendship, while you discovered fierce loyalty and kindness.

It was strange that, at such a young age you felt drawn to Steve, and you knew he did too, as children it only made you want to spend every second of every day together.

You’d spend summers, riding your bikes all over town despite your mother’s scorn, listening to Billie Holiday records in Grandma Rogers’ dusty old house, reading in the library until it closed, playing tag in his living room while his mother baked in the kitchen, hiding in his basement every time your dad picked you up.

When the days you spent together weren’t enough, you begged for sleepovers, your sister had them all the time after all, but your mother thought it improper for a boy to sleep over, so eventually, you fashioned a sheet rope for Steve to climb once everyone had gone to bed, and then he’d sleep by your side.

Some nights you’d whisper what you imagined the past was like, both of you were passionate about history, sometimes Steve would caress your hair while you sobbed into his shoulder, cursing to hell all belts, but most nights you would stay silent, holding hands until you fell asleep, once the sun was up, Steve’s side of the bed was always empty.

This went on for years, even in high school, your love for each other only grew, despite the silly arguments like you spending more time studying than with Steve, or him always getting a black eye never knowing when to stand down.

The both of you knew this was forever, and there was nothing you could do or say that would make either of you leave.

You tried getting out of his hold, squirming and pushing, if it were anyone else you’d be suffocated, “G-osh Stevie for someone so lean, you sure are strong” you huffed and puffed.

“If my mother finds us cuddling she’ll never let you see me again” You laughed, but you weren’t kidding, young ladies were never to engage in inappropriate behavior with boys your mother would always tell you.

“Yeah, I’d like to see her try” Steve grunted, almost possessively, his arms only squeezing you further into his chest, you couldn’t breathe but it wasn’t because of his bruising hold, chills went down your spine, and butterflies flew in your stomach.

You chose to ignore his comment and what it made you feel, “We have to go soon, Bucky won’t wait for us forever and he’s our ride”, finally you felt Steve’s arms relax but his hands remained on your back, rubbing it.

Catching him off guard, you free yourself and jump out of bed, quickly running to your mirror to check if your hair still looks good and to your relief it does. As you turn back you catch a glimpse of him adjusting his pants which makes your cheeks burn hot, you didn’t understand why that made you proud, and it isn’t the first time it’s happened, but Steve reassured you it was normal…

You weren’t brave enough to ask him if it was normal that you wanted to touch it.

As you walk out to your porch, Steve’s hand reaches for yours, “Promise you won’t stray too far from me, God knows what kind of people Tony invites to his parties”, his eyes search yours for something, you don’t know what, so you nod while your thumb caressed his knuckles, Bucky was already on your driveway honking the horn without any regard for your neighbors.

“You’re lucky my parents are out of town Barnes!” you laugh as Steve opens the door for you, once everyone has their seat belts on, per your request, you head to Stark Manor.

After a short drive, you enter Tony Stark's ancestral home, it seems like the whole high school was invited. You never liked parties all that much, and neither did Steve but you thought socializing with other people besides each other would do you good, your mother insisted on it.

Swallowing a nervous gulp, you instinctively reached for Steve’s hand, just for a few seconds but then Peggy Carter jumped into his arms with a red smile and an even more gorgeous red dress that hugged her figure perfectly.

She was an exchange student, she was relatively new to the school but she quickly befriended your little group of friends, with her London charm and wit.

Your heart sank to your stomach and a knot formed in your throat when you saw his hands on her sides. Why were you jealous? he’s your friend you had to remind yourself, Steve couldn’t always be by your side, you knew this… and yet you couldn’t help the sickness brewing deep in your stomach when Peggy’s hands roamed all over Steve.

It was obvious Peggy liked him, but Steve’s reluctance to take her hand gave you a moment of relief, but then he was gone, lost in the sea of people. You hugged yourself as you considered asking Bucky to take you back home, but he already had his tongue down Dot’s throat.

Against your better judgment and Steve’s warnings, you found yourself in the bar, admiring all the bottles of liquor that came in different shapes and sizes, the one called Unicum caught your attention but as soon as you smelled it, you put it away.

“Not a fan I take it?” a voice comes from behind, following it, you find the host himself wearing a black turtle neck along with a blazer that hugs him just right, his brown eyes slowly studying you while he takes a sip of his drink.

Putting back the bottle, you chastised yourself for picking it up in the first place, “I’m sorry, this is expensive, I shouldn’t have touched it, I’m- I’m sorry” you sputtered.

You were nervous, but you realized you liked the attention, Tony was every girl’s dreamboat and the fact that his eyes were so focused on your body was thrilling.

With a sly smirk, he walks closer to you, “Don’t you worry Honeybun, that’s my father’s drink, break the damn thing if you want” he chuckled, “You’re Rogers’ little pet, aren’t you? he leave you all alone?”, he sounded a little drunk already.

Before you could get mad at his nickname, his arm wrapped itself around your waist “I think you’re a sweet-tooth Honeybun, you’re going to love Grasshoppers” he stated, without giving you a chance to refuse.

You were delighted to find out you did love the creamy drink, and after a few of them, Tony started to be less annoying to you, and if you squinted you could pretend he looked like Tony Curtis.

You missed Steve, where is he?

As Tony dragged you to the dance floor, squished between the crowd of drunk classmates, you started to feel suffocated and Tony’s grip on your wrist was starting to hurt, but your head was so fuzzy, and the room was so loud, he probably couldn’t even hear your protest.

Tony finally stops, his hands wander down your back until they’re on your waist, and his fingers dig into your dress, making your heart skip a beat, as he starts swaying you, Steve emerges from the sea of dancing silhouettes.

His smile of relief drops when he sees another man’s hands around your waist, you almost push Tony away in response, but you just put on your best smile.

“H- Hey I’ve been looking all over for you”, Steve says, his tone is friendly but his eyes darken when Tony pulls you closer to him, making you trip a little, you didn’t have your wits about you, and Steve notices.

“Baby I need to get you home” he almost pleaded, you’re shocked he called you the nickname he only used when you’re alone, his perfect blue eyes had… longing in them? that couldn’t be right, especially when you discover the mark of red lips on his cheek, making your blood boil.

“I don’t want to leave Steve, I’m- I’m having fun with… T-Tony”, you tried to sound unyielding but you could feel the tension rise between the two men, you were never good with confrontation.

“You heard her little man, you shouldn’t have left her all alone if you didn’t want someone to steal her from you”, Tony says matter-of-factly.

Your best friend looks stoic, not moving a muscle, he looks intimidating despite Tony being much taller than him. He’s one step away from invading Tony’s space, but you’re quick to place your hand on his chest, and you immediately feel him relax, his eyes soften too when he turns to you.

“Go back to Peggy, I’m sure she’s waiting for you” is all you say with a wavering smile.

His hand wants to reach for you but all he does is nod before he disappears into the crowd, you’re a little disappointed. The rest of the night is eternal, your feet grow sore, and you had your 4th grasshopper a minute ago so your mind is comfortably numb, but every time Tony gropes your hips, or his fingers trace your cheeks, you feel guilt deep in your stomach, and to your dismay the party only seems to intensify.

As you slow danced you tried to ignore how dizzy you felt, but when the song ended you couldn’t help but let your weight fall into Tony’s arms, he just laughed and reaffirmed his hold on you “C’mon Honeybun don’t tell me you’re sleepy, night’s young! I want to show you something”.

You felt him move you before you could even respond, “Wh-where are we going Steve?” you slurred, not realizing you called him by another name, your question was met with silence, Tony just kept on pulling you across the grand hall.

“I want to show you the pretty flowers in the garden Honeybun, no one will bother us” his smile was wide but it did nothing to ease you, he shushed you while you tried to voice your thoughts.

You felt watched… the night breeze flew by your dress and your skin prickled, but it wasn’t because of the night chill. You were too busy admiring the pastoral landscape to worry, your eyes followed the tree-lined path up to a beautiful pond, with pink roses everywhere, but before you could take a step forward, you were being pushed up against a stone wall.

“Ow! Tony what-” His lips crushed yours before you could finish your sentence, he tasted bitter and unwanted, you tried pushing him away but you were weak, the alcohol in you like heavy chains around your arms and legs.

“Don’t you wanna make me feel good Honeybun?” he slurred in your ear, your stomach filled with dread, you almost gagged, “please stop” you begged, but his hand brutishly covered your mouth “Shut up” he spat while his assault continued down your neck, you could hear his belt coming off and alarms went off in your head, a scared whimper managed to escape his hand.

The party was roaring inside, and the music was muffled by the stone walls, you were sure no one would hear your screams, you sobbed at the realization. You were about to accept your fate but then Tony’s thrown back by the neck and into the dirt, it was Steve!

Before you could react he was already on top of Tony pummeling him without compassion, animalistic grunts escaping his lips as his knuckles bloodied themselves.

“You don’t fucking touch her!” Steve growled, “You’re going to wish you were dead you piece of shit”, the hits kept coming, and you couldn’t stop watching, it was horrifying watching your best friend become this violent, controlled by his dark impulses, but a small part of you, a part of you that you wouldn’t acknowledge felt satisfaction, pride even…

Tony had been unconscious for a minute now and Steve wouldn’t stop, you were surprised he wasn’t having an asthma attack by now, the sickening sound of his fist meeting beaten flesh brought you out of your thoughts, you quickly ran to Steve to make him stop.

You grabbed his bloody fist in the air “Steve stop, you’re going to kill him” you cried, both of you heaving, you sensed Steve was making an effort to hold back, the blue in his eyes was almost gone, with only rage in them, “He should be six feet under just for putting his hands on you” he gruffed, you didn’t know how to respond so you only nodded, taking his hands in yours, and placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles.

Seeing your blood-stained lips made him feel unlike anything he’d ever felt before, a sense of ownership pleasantly lingered, but as he searched to see if you were harmed, your tear-streaked face made him move off Tony, and take you in his arms, the warmth radiating from him finally calmed you enough to let yourself feel the terror of what could’ve happened to you.

You let it all out onto Steve’s shoulder like you’ve done countless times before… except this was different, you’ve always felt safe with Steve, but after tonight, you also felt protected.

“I won’t let anybody touch you again baby” he lulls, your arms wrap around his neck and instinctively you rub off on his chest, needing to be as close to him as possible, his scent already soothing your soul.

“I promise”, he whispers in your ear and kisses your temple with such tenderness you barely feel his lips… everything is going to be ok.

Kiss me once, then kiss me twice,

then kiss me once again

It’s been a long, long time

Haven’t felt like this, my dear since I

can’t remember when

It’s been a long, long time

♫ ♪

“He’s back in town” Peggy repeats after you remained silent for an awkward amount of time, you just couldn’t stop replaying this one song in your head…

“Did you even hear what I said?” Peggy’s annoyance startles you, making you drop the cup of tea you were nursing.

She rolls her eyes at you, while she grabs a dishtowel to wipe the spilled liquid, “Steve Rogers is back” she deadpans, carefully observing your reaction.

“So sad Sarah isn’t here to welcome him back home” you whispered, tears threatening to spill at the memory of the woman who took care of you for so long, far more tender than your mother ever was to you.

“Honorably discharged” she continued, probably not even hearing your comment “They even made him a Captain, can you imagine? I-”.

She keeps on talking but it’s all muffled noise to your ears, your mind running a million miles per hour.

Would you give him a call?

how much can war change a man?

would he call you?

what would you say if you bumped into each other at the supermarket? God, John doesn’t even know about him.

Knowing Steve was home rekindled the heartache you managed to bury in the back of your mind every single day, it took everything in you not to start crying every time you remembered his broken promise, but you learned a long time ago that it was best to keep your emotions under lock and key.

The sound of running water finally distracted you from your consuming thoughts, “Hon are you sure you’re up for visitors?” Peggy sings with faux concern as she does the dishes, “I know you’re still not over the incident but I have to agree with your mother, you need to try harder, this is not normal, when I was preg-”

Willing yourself not to throw the porcelain cup at her head, you grinned, “Maybe we’ll see Steve at the reunion, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you Peggy”, you sassed behind your stiff smile, but of course, she didn’t notice. Her reaction only confirmed what you suspected, like a little girl her ears perked up and her cheeks turned bright red “It’ll be so good to see everyone again” Peggy tried to conceal her excitement.

“I’m sure your husband will enjoy seeing everyone too” you reminded her, too tired to play nice with her.

Peggy’s eyes widen “You see, I don’t think Tony will be able to attend… you know how he is, always work work work” she laughs nervously.

You know better than that, Tony Stark was a sleazy drunk, you knew it since that night back in high school, but as the years passed, Tony’s attempts to hide his transgressions were feeble, by now the whole town knew every time he went away for business to New York City, he was on a bender gambling, drinking and sowing his wild oats, but Tony’s wealth and power always kept him out of trouble.

“Of course, I’m sure he’ll be back from his business trip just in time for the reunion” You pleasantly smiled before getting up and cutting up a piece of pink azalea cake for her to take back home, far, far away from you.

Once Peggy’s gone you start your chores, it was always the same, wash John’s clothes and press them, hang them by the door for the next day, then clean the windows, wash the curtains, scrub the floors until they’re shining, and never mop, last time you did your husband almost burned your books. Dust his trophy cabinet, sweep the garage, and finally make dinner and keep it in the oven so it’s warm when your husband comes home.

After finishing everything up to John’s liking, you always end up in your garden, the joy of your life besides a good book.

Your garden wasn’t grand or exotic like the other housewives’ gardens, Peggy would often say it was dull or pitiful or both, but in your eyes, it was precious and full of life.

From hybrid phlox, peonies, and hydrangeas to blue holly bushes, you took care of them with love and tenderness, your garden was your comfort in your darkest days, sometimes the only thing you looked forward to in your day.

But your roses… they were your most prized possession, every day without fail you tended to them, making sure they were safe and felt cared for, sometimes you would even sing to them, your roses were your babies, you could never forsake them like he did you.

You cried as you fertilized the earth for your youngling, your tears fell on the little sprout right next to the other roses, now in full bloom.

Your mind wandered 9 years back to when you first married John. You couldn’t fight your mother any longer, for years you rejected any suitor she brought, doctors, lawyers, professors, none of them compared to the one person you truly loved. Despite your mother’s constant denial, you hoped Steve would safely return and finally admit the feelings you knew he had for you, and take you far away…

But it was a silly fantasy, he never wrote, not once since you said goodbye that September night, so long ago, you hated him for it, you never understood why he abandoned you like that, you only knew he was alive because of the letters he sent to his mother, but his beautiful eyes haunted you at night, and when you didn’t dream of him you resented him for it.

Then your mother arranged a date with John Walker, he was young, easy on the eyes, and set to inherit his grandfather’s sugar company which was said to be a very wealthy prospect. He wasn't particularly sweet or charming but his easy-going smile helped you ease your nerves.

The first thing he did when he saw you was take your hand and plant a kiss on your knuckles, he was sturdy and his posture was always rigid, but he had this suave confidence that made you think he owned the entire world.

He offered stability and comfort when you needed it the most, so you forced yourself to love him, you told yourself that he would be a good husband despite not knowing his faults or even his traits,... Steve wasn't coming back, so you decided to trust your mother's judgment.

The first year of your marriage you came to accept the fact that as hard as you tried, you would never feel the same way for your husband as you did for your best friend, but life with John had become comfortably dull.

You never thought your life would turn like it did…

As you adapted to married life, you found out John’s easy going smile was a facade, he was strict and expected certain things of you. To please him in every possible aspect, that was a wife's duty after all, he'd turn mean and a brute if you failed in your duties but if you followed the rules, he would leave you be to read your books and tend to the garden. You learned the hard way if he came home to find his clothes wrinkly or God forbid the floors mopped instead of scrubbed, you would suffer the consequences..

Eventually, you learned to appease his ego and keep your head down, your days went out painfully slow, and you would dread every time the hands of the clock slowly approached the time of his return, each day you wondered what new insult John had prepared to make you feel inadequate.

Thinking his temper would placate once you carried his child was naive, you realize that now. The first time you got pregnant you were ecstatic to love someone with your whole heart and soul, and for your love to be returned, but soon there was nothing to tell.

It was difficult to keep it a secret from your husband, like your mother, he crushed you under his expectations, the weight of them almost unbearable, and both, always made sure you knew the disappointment that you were.

But missing his smell, the comfort he provided, missing Steve was the most painful.

Tonight was your high school reunion and you couldn’t stop pacing around the living room, it was almost time to leave and you were still waiting for John to come home and change. Given that it was summer, the nights were hotter so you wore a sleeveless, wide-skirt baby-pink dress, adorned with white lace, pearl earrings, and white gloves as the finishing touch.

You were about to call his office when you heard the car park in the driveway. Too anxious to wait for him, you ran outside ready to greet him with a scotch, “Welcome home dear, please hurry, I left your clothes on the bed. If we leave in five minutes no one will noti-”

John slams the car door before you can finish your sentence, “We’re not going” is all he says without sparing you a look, taking the scotch from your hand and drinking it in one gulp.

“Please John, don’t be like this” you protested, “you said we could-”

“For fucks sake!” your husband snapped, his hand hit the hood of his black Chevrolet Impala, making you jump scared, he treated that car like his baby… the alarms in your head cautioned you to choose your words carefully.

“J-John please, be reasonable, let’s go inside I’ll make you another drink” you pleaded, afraid the neighbors would hear you arguing, the street was busy with kids riding their bikes and people coming in and out of their homes.

“You don’t tell me what to do!” he barked out your name like an insult, his body shaking with anger he had to clench his fists, he took a step forward and you recoiled, making him huff in offense.

He took your wrist with force and jerked you towards him, making you tumble on your heels, “Stop being so dramatic” he reprimanded. You didn’t mean to upset him but you didn’t want to go alone, you couldn’t! John had promised weeks ago he would go.

“I fired over 50 of my best workers because they thought they could do whatever they wanted, I will teach you a fucking lesson too if you keep pushing me” he threatened with malice, tears threatened to spill, you didn’t want to look at him but his hand forced your chin up.

You instinctively shook your head, too afraid to even speak, that only fed his ego and in a second he was dragging you through the pavement and into the house, a sick smile displayed on his face.

“John you’re hurting me” you panicked, holding onto his arms for some support, as he kicked the door close, he dropped you on the carpet of the living room, you almost hit your head against the tube.

Your husband’s chest heaves above you and before he can touch you again you quickly get on your knees with your head looking up, trying your hardest to make eye contact with the man you feared “I’m sorry!” you repeated over and over, the knot in your throat making it painful to speak.

After a long silence, you see his features relax, you’re flabbergasted by his swift change of attitude, his smile slowly widens and you flinch when his fingers wipe a single tear “That’s what I like to hear Sugar”.

“You know what I think?” he continued, “You should be at home trying to get pregnant and start our family instead of running off to a party and see some moron you used to be friends with”.

Nausea overwhelmed you at his implication but your mind spun at the mention of Steve, how on earth did he know about him?! Maybe you weren’t as discreet as you thought.

A stabbing pain on your wrist interrupted your thoughts and you reached for it, John comically pouts “I’m so sorry Sugar, work was just so stressful” he sighed while helping you stand up, your scrapped knees shake as you find your balance. You couldn’t be in the same room as him anymore, but your body wouldn’t move, he didn’t like it when you refused to look at him, so he tilted your chin up.

“Tell you what, I’ll let you go to this thing… I know Tony and Peggy will keep an eye on you”, he grinned, pulled you close to him and kissed your forehead, making your body tense.

You desperately wanted to push him off of you, and you almost did, but it wasn’t a good idea to piss him off further, after tonight, you weren’t sure how far your husband’s cruelty could go.

“I need to call Peggy” stated, your voice meek, too afraid he would change his mind, “so they can come to pick me up” you clarify, taking John’s silence as your cue, you took a hesitant step back, and briskly walked to the phone in the kitchen, thankful you had some space from him.

After the 5th ring, Peggy finally picked up and without getting into the details, you explained to her why you needed a ride to the reunion, to which she reluctantly agreed. As you waited, you cleaned the scrapes on your knees, if you put on stockings no one would notice, you quickly re-did your makeup and hair, and It wasn’t more than 15 minutes when you heard Peggy’s tootle.

You were almost out the door when John called your name, clearly asserting once more his power over you, letting out a shuddery breath, you turned to face him with your chin held high.

“Get me a beer” he commanded, too entranced with the boob tube to even bother looking at you, the room went quiet and all you could hear was your heart beating in your ears, you knew what he wanted from you. You wondered if you would ever be free of his torment, but the weight of your wedding ring reminded you of your vows…

Till death do us part.

So you plastered on a graceful smile, walked to the kitchen and returned with an opened can to place in his hand, with a smug smirk, he pats your ass, “off you go” he dismissed, and you promptly did.

The ride to the school was silent, Peggy didn’t question your vacant stare or why you kept rubbing your wrist, her mood seemed sour and you had no intention of untwisting that ball of yarn she called a brain.

As you walked in, you barely recognized the halls you used to walk every day, you remember Steve struggling to open his locker, Bucky flirting with anyone who wore a skirt, skipping Gym class so Steve wouldn’t be all alone in detention.

As you walked into the gym, you admired the decorations, balloons scattered all over the floor, red and pink confetti cascading down on everyone, glimmering under the soft light. You recognized some people but there was so much people, you weren’t even sure you went to class with some of them, the party was in full swing, and people danced as the band played your favorite song.

Never thought that you would be

Standing here so close to me

There’s so much I feel that I should say

But words can wait until some other day.

♫ ♪

You are as beautiful as the day he lost you, Steve thought, from all the way across the room, you still hadn’t seen him but he saw you the moment you walked into the room, stealing the air from his lungs.

His heart aches so painfully to be near you he swears it could be a heart attack, he was frozen in place afraid that if he moved you’d disappear, he wonders how long it would take for him to win you back…

Something in you compels you to turn around, and when you do, a gasp escapes you… You couldn’t believe your own eyes, for a moment you didn’t recognize him, he was taller and incredibly broad, nothing like the man you saw last a decade ago, his posture was intimidating, but then you met his eyes, and those were the same. He truly was back, and all those emotions you kept under lock broke free, making your legs move forward before you could think, he immediately did too, and suddenly the both of you were running through the crowd to get to each other.

Without hesitation, you crashed into his arms, and he crushed you to him, easily picking you up, he was definitely stronger. Breathing him in, a sob almost escaped your lips, it was still the same after 12 years, the noise around you drowns out and it’s as if the earth stops spinning altogether… “I’m so sorry you lost your mom”, you whimper, it was the first thing you needed to say.

His hold only tightens, making it harder to breathe, memories of his suffocating embrace making you feel warm inside, you grip the nape of his hair for comfort, “I didn’t get to say goodbye” Steve whispers into your neck. Since you can remember, you always hated when he was heartbroken, his pain was your own, you wished you could take it away.

“I know”, you nod, before he slowly lets you down, making you realize just how much the height difference is, it made you nervous.

His hands settle on your lower back while yours rest on the sides of his shoulders, you’re so close, he’s hunched over and you’re on your tiptoes, just inches away from his lips, his nose nudges your own for a moment, making the butterflies in your stomach wild, you feel drawn to each other like magnets. Steve’s leaning in, and like a bucket of cold water, you remember the last 12 years, you remembered how easily he abandoned you, breaking every promise he made to you.

You quickly turn your cheek and you can feel his disappointment boring into your head, taking a small step back, you hold his hand tightly, not redy to let him go yet, and you shake your head, silently telling him you couldn’t kiss him.

The soldier had half a mind to grab and kiss you, remind you of what you meant to each other, after years and oceans apart he never stopped thinking about you. You both knew from the day you met , you were his, and he wasn’t going to let anyone get in between the two of you ever again.

But before he could say anything, Peggy Carter approached them.

“Well well, look at you two chums getting reacquainted”, her smile was sickenly sweet, but her eyes told you, you were caught… How long had she been watching? you ask yourself as anxiety settles in your stomach, and then your husband’s words ring in your head.

“I know Tony and Peggy will keep an eye on you”.

Your heart beats incessantly against your chest, and your breathing becomes shallow, she was going to tell John, you realized… and you were terrified of what he would do.

To be continued…

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