#at least i stopped before i started making hannibal and succession references

[iamjackstylerdurden]

ok but dennis’s hands shaking late at night while texting mac as johnny and he tells himself its bc the room is cold or hes stressed but its actually bc its getting more and more difficult to know where dennis ends and johnny begins. when johnnys texting mac all the things he loves about him but its really everything dennis loves about mac. and when mac texts all the things he loves about johnny its all the things he loves about dennis. because dennis made johnny just like him. he wants to be caught by mac because he cant catch himself. he knew from the start it wasnt sustainable. that wasnt the flaw in his plan, it was the climax

when he sees mac texted “gn ily” and for a second he prays mac sent it to his number and not johnnys. but he knows mac didnt bc mac already confessed and dennis said no. so macs trying to move on. when mac texts that and for a brief second dennis debates texting mac “i love u too” from his real number. he knows mac is in his bedroom. he wonders, if he did, how long it would be before he hears footsteps making their way to his door. what would be the first thing mac says as he makes eye contact with johnny for the first time

or when he sends mac to the motel and he sits outside of what he knows for a fact to be macs room. johnny texting excuses as to why hes not there while dennis is just feet away from the door. maybe once or twice he gets his hand on the handle before pulling back. the cold metal burning his skin like holy water hitting a demon (despite nothing about this being holy). sitting in his car in front of the window begging mac to look out the window. to see him. to recognize him. to make the first move bc dennis sure as hell cant

but he never texts “i love you” from his real number and mac never looks out the window and dennis never opens the door. so hes left there knowing exactly where mac is and a pretty good idea of what hes doing but never getting to be as happy as mac. bc mac is texting a fake man hes convinced hes going to have while dennis is texting the very real man hes convinced hes never going to have

always telling himself tomorrow. tomorrow he’ll go to macs bedroom or motel room and confess. lay out his soul and affection. but he can never make tomorrow happen. then mac has to go and tell everyone about johnny. and suddenly its real. mac is in schrodingers box and unknowingly blows it open and the universes collide. text mac and irl mac are one and dennis cant handle it so he doesnt get his grand confession. he gets his exasperated “i am him” but theres people around. he could maybe get his soul out in front of one person (one specific person) but not here at the bar in front of an audience (even if that audience is only one or two people)

so it ends. johnny doesnt exist (at least physically) and now mac knows. everyone pushes it behind them as some scheme abruptly ended as usual. no one pokes or prods at it too much bc why would they. so now that johnnys gone mac isnt tethered to anyone anymore and dennis has to sit through as mac uses his own system against him. so he has to make another elaborate private tactic because being another person is the closest dennis has ever got to being true to himself and mac. dear god he couldnt get anyones help with this because again, his soul only has room for one person. if he doesnt start something else this feeling with sit and sit and fester then die. he already has enough dead things inside of him and one more might start having consequences. he wonders if this is how mac felt all those years. if macs feelings festered and died. maybe he’ll never know

[detectivehannibal]

Instructor

__

Hannibal Lecter x Fem. Reader

Warnings: None.

A/N: I have started writing requests! I just wanted to get this short one posted first!

Word Count: 1,086

“Will you teach me?”

__

You weren’t a good cook. Scratch that. You were a TERRIBLE cook. You could barely boil water without catching the entire stove on fire. You were no Martha Stewart and you definitely weren’t that of Hannibal Lecter. He did all the cooking for you both. Not that he minded this. He wouldn’t do it if he didn’t want to.

Despite knowing this, you still felt a twinge of guilt whenever he spent hours preparing a meal and you didn’t offer any kind of help. There had been several times where you attempted to make dinner yourself, but alas, it always ended up a disaster.

He was met with quite the chaotic scene when he made his entrance into your shared kitchen to see that his sacred space looked like a culinary war zone. Flour was messily dusted all over the countertops (as well as a little on your face), water spilled on the floor, and he was pretty sure he could smell something had been burned not too long before he arrived.

“Again?” He questioned, already knowing this was another futile attempt at cooking. 

You looked to him, sadness and disappointment in your eyes. He approached you silently, not the least bit disturbed at his horrid kitchen that was usually tidy. He eyed the water soaked recipe that you had sitting next to you. He knew better than to mention that it was one of the easiest dishes to possibly prepare. He smiled lightly, brushing the flour off of your cheeks.

“I appreciate your effort. Get yourself cleaned up. I will make dinner.” He said as he always did when your dinners failed.

Normally, you’d retreat in defeat, but you felt your face get hot. You sighed harshly.

“No, I want to do it. I know I can.” You bantered back.

His eyes widened a bit in surprise. He placed his hands on your slumped shoulders.

“I assure you, darling, that I don’t mind. I take pleasure in doing it.” He explained.

He watched as you grew more frustrated as the conversation continued.

“There’s no reason why I can’t manage to pull off a nice dinner. It’s not exactly rocket science.” You argued.

He agreed with you there. He could prepare most meals blindfolded and with one hand tied behind his back. Still, that didn’t encourage you. 

“It doesn’t have to be difficult. However, it takes a heavy amount of patience and you must be willing to allow yourself to learn along the way.” He said, removing his hands from your shoulders to toss the horribly burned chicken into the trash.

“I can be patient...I’m a decent learner,” You pouted; “Will you teach me?”

You were a tad hesitant to ask such a favor. Hannibal preferred doing most things solo. You weren’t sure how he’d take the idea of sharing his skills, tips, and tricks. Much to your shock, he didn’t hesitate with his answer.

“It would be my pleasure.” He replied, retrieving new pots and pans from the cabinets. 

You were eager to see just how Hannibal performed his craft. You hadn’t really ever seen him prepare meals. You knew there was a reason for that, but still...you had always had a dangerous curiosity.

He walked you through the steps, taking the time to explain why he did certain things the way he did. You noticed that every little trick he did was well thought out and had a purpose. That was Hannibal in a nutshell. Calculated and efficient. 

He asked you to handle the vegetables, he watched as you peeled the orange skin from the slender carrots. He didn’t stop you until you began to chop them. 

“You’re holding it incorrectly.” He said referring to how you held the knife in your grasp. 

You paused as he placed himself behind you, his hands resting on yours, controlling you like a puppet. He used his hands on yours to show you how to hold it.

“It’s best to keep your index finger tucked under the handle,” He instructed; “Then you can cut evenly and cleanly.”

Sure enough, you began to slice even circles of carrot. You could feel his smile from behind you. You could smell his expensive cologne that you had become so used to over the years. You knew he was taking you in. You always knew when you got that hard chill down your spine. His face was almost buried in your hair as he whispered his praises in your ears.

“Perfect. Good girl,” He purred; “I think you will have this mastered in no time.” 

You shuddered at his silky voice, but managed to squeak out a sarcastic reply.

“Maybe I’ll be able to outdo you.” You teased.

He drew away from you. Amusement was written all over his face.

“I’d love to see you try.” 

You went back to chopping with a grin, he returned his attention to the pan of onions that were currently caramelizing. The kitchen soon became cozy and warm, its usual feel coming back to life. You were just grateful it didn’t smell like burnt chicken anymore. 

After an hour or so, you and Hannibal were able to produce a gorgeous dinner. You were proud, and felt more confident that you could perhaps not almost burn down the house every time you tried to cook. You had a lot to learn, but it was a step in the right direction. 

You stood over the sink after dinner, washing the pile of cookware that had accumulated over the course of the evening. You hummed a happy little tune as you plundered in the soapy water to assure the dishes would be squeaky clean. Suddenly, Hannibal’s voice was audible in your ear once more.

“I’m proud of you. It was wonderful.” He complimented, kissing your temple.

You continued washing the plate in your hands, but smiled warmly.

“I can’t take all the credit. I had a very notable teacher.” 

“Teachers are merely guides. It’s up to the student to be successful.” He pointed out.

His hands were firm on your hips, his chin resting on top of your head. 

“Well, I still suppose that part of my success goes to you. I couldn’t have done it without you.” You responded.

You finally turned in his hold to face him. He looked relaxed. That was rare for him. You kissed him fully and deeply, captivated in his touch. Maybe you’d never make it to Hannibal’s level of culinary expertise.

But you’d always be grateful for his help.

[luulapants]

Happy 4/20 - here’s a Hannigram ficlet

(Read it here or on AO3)

Will tolerated their dinner parties. Or perhaps ‘tolerated’ was too strong a word. Endured, perhaps. Weathered them. He hated the pomp of them, the social performance. Remembering the right names, smiling at the right moments, riding the line between clever verbal sparring and outright rudeness. (He often failed in that last regard.) He hated having having so many people in their home. He hated the risk of discovery and what he scathingly referred to as Hannibal’s ‘showboating.’

(When Hannibal protested this characterization, Will would only move his lips in an exaggerated fashion as he enunciated, bit out the words “Show. Boating.”)

Hannibal knew all of this, and he appreciated the sentiment, be it tolerance, endurance, or weathering.

He appreciated that Will never asked him to stop hosting dinners, though he would often greet their announcements with a whining, “Another?” or perhaps, “You just had one!”

He appreciated that Will always attempted to dress the part, though Hannibal had never insisted upon this. As far as he was concerned, Will had the right to dress however he wished while in his own home. This policy of wardrobe liberty often resulted in careless nudity while the two of them were home alone, so Hannibal regarded it as a resounding success. And perhaps Will forewent a tie or jacket, on occasion, when none of their guests had, but he always looked presentable, at the very least.

Above all else, Hannibal appreciated that Will always attended these loathed dinners. For this, of course, was also entirely his choice as well. He could have gone elsewhere for the evening or even hidden himself away in their bedroom, pretending to be away until the last of their guests left. Hannibal might have felt disappointed about that – he did love to have his husband at his side, to show him off to their fellow society members – but he would not have begrudged it.

Hannibal loved a crowd.

Will did not.

Hannibal reminded himself of this as he glanced at his watch, then the front door. Will had taken the dogs for a walk, about half an hour before guests started arriving. Now more than fifty minutes ago, and still no sign of him.

“Bernard,” said Mrs. Salvatierra, placing a well-manicured hand on his elbow. Hannibal, wearing one of ‘Bernard’s most charming smiles, turned to her. “We’ve been discussing this lovely portrait you have beside the entryway,” she told him. “Could I bother you to tell us a bit about it?”

He let himself fall into the rhythm of hosting. These social events were a performance for Hannibal as much as they were for Will. However, Hannibal adored the act, donning his role with the relish and comfort of a practiced thespian. He did not have Will’s seemingly boundless capacity for anxiety, so while his husband sweated and mumbled and chewed aspirin at the slightest hint of scrutiny, Hannibal merely delighted each moment that he played his part and found himself believed.

Shortly after appetizers began to circulate throughout the room, the front door opened and closed, drawing Hannibal’s attention. Will bent to unhook the dogs from their leashes and glanced up with a sheepishly apologetic expression. Before Hannibal could draw Will to his side, though, the caterer interceded with an urgent question about their main course, which diverted him to the kitchen for some minutes.

When he returned, Hannibal spotted Will, sitting alone on an armchair in a corner of the room. One of the dogs – Angus – had its head on his knee, eyes closed as Will stroked it in slow motions. Hannibal frowned. Will was often anxious at these events, but he never secluded himself so, never failed to mingle and make a bare amount of conversation. His body seemed simultaneously tense and oddly slack, eyes half-lidded as they darted about the room.

Hannibal approached, doing his best not to draw attention to himself or Will as he did so. From just a few feet away, he could scent the beginnings of a theory on this new behavior:

Marijuana.

Will didn’t like it when he called it marijuana. “I’m smoking a joint, don’t make it sound so clinical,” he had laughed after the first time Hannibal said it to him.

So, Hannibal had tried, “Smoking weed,” and Will had broken down laughing so hard he nearly slipped out of his chair.

“No,” he had gasped through his hysterics. “Oh my god, no, you absolutely can’t say that.”

All other alternatives he had tried resulted in more or less the same result, so Hannibal stuck with the word Will didn’t like, for lack of any which suited him better.

Hannibal stepped up beside Will’s chair and asked in a low tone, “Are you high?”

Will’s eyes slowly drew away from the bustle of the party and up to Hannibal’s face. He looked a bit like one of the dogs might, after they had done something they knew they would be scolded for. He nodded quickly.

Pressing his lips together, Hannibal tried to parse through this development. Obviously, Will had done it while he was on his walk with the dogs. Alone, most likely. He had yet to find anyone he might call a friend, here in their new life. “Can I ask why?” Hannibal asked carefully.

After another quick glance at the party, Will murmured, “I thought it would help with the anxiety.”

The thought, in theory, made sense. However, Hannibal did not get the sense that practice had been so forgiving. “And?”

Will’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “This is… so much worse,” he said.

[malapkv]

Munnariyippu-Do not regret – I did WARN you!

According to Tumblr, this is my 25th post. When I went back and counted I did not find so many, but Tumblr seems to think so, so be it.

I usually write about music or movies or women’s rights, those have been my themes.  Before I expand consciously to other areas, here is a quarter- century post on films. And this time a Mamooty film.

During this 2021 lockdown, I have been watching the CBI investigation series of Mamooka.I got hooked to it, started googling on his thrillers...tried watching a few recent ones, and not liking the quality, decided to settle with those from the late 80s and early 90s. Was surprised by a film called Kanathaya Penkutty from 1985, a google suggestion- where Mamooty is not a cop but, well, far from itJ . While I was surprised by his choice of roles at that point in time, I got a suggestion of “ Munnariyippu”- a 2014 film. I had a smirk- 2014, was not a year I associated with quality thriller films....it had to be at least two decades earlier than that, I thought..

Until I decided to watch this murder mystery.  Munnariyippu- In Malayalam it means Warning.

It is difficult to write a review on this film without spoilers, so if you have not watched this film, STOP. You MUST watch it before reading ahead, for if not, you are missing a film of global standards.

Those who have watched the film may read ahead. Those who did not -do not regret reading it prematurely. I did WARN you! J

Well first of all, the whole team behind this masterpiece-Take a bow. If I had watched in a cinema hall, I would have clapped non- stop for a few minutes.

 The plot

The director takes the cake. Plotted so beautifully- keeping the audience interests in mind, making them impatient and weaving intricacies and layers into the storyline. The way the movie progresses, you keep guessing what could possibly be the revelation, you are busy spinning stories in the mind and watching the film with anxiety. The director has to be given full credit for creating this masterpiece of a cinema, with a minimalist approach and a clean screenplay.

And the choice of cast. I mean, who else except a master -creator can choose a mega star for Raghavan, imagine him in it and bring whatever he wanted on screen with so much perfection? Not just the protagonist, but the entire crew of actors- Aparna Gopinath-the intellectual, who would think that she was ever going to undergo what she finally underwent?

P for precision...precisely sculpted.

 Raghavan

I wanted to write about Mamooka-but sorry it is Raghavan that comes to mind.  

Raghavan is a “parama saadhu”. That is, he receives instructions, does whatever he is told and remains in the background. Very unassuming and obedient. Does not talk much except for his flow of philosophy- now and then. He does get angry at times and walks out of uncomfortable circumstances. But otherwise he is someone who can be shoved into an auto and be “taken for a ride”- I mean that body language when he gets into an auto with a stranger J

All this is true until the climax.

Only for us to realise that Raghavan is India’s answer to Hannibal Lecter.

While Hannibal the Cannibal ate body parts, drank blood and displayed gore, all that Raghavan did was smile!

Not a drop of blood. No yelling and no stunt scenes.

Just being himself -calm and poised, was enough to create the shivers.

Which is why he becomes scarier than Hannibal Lecter!

What a performance....Raghavan ...Sorry who was the actor again?

 Dialogues

Competing with the actor is the dialogues.

Dialogues that could be interpreted with many shades and layers. You would watch the film once and interpret the dialogues relating them to your own life.

You would watch the film again and interpret them with reference to the homicides.

But fact remains you cannot just watch this once, for you now know that Raghavan has always been giving clues all along

 The success of this film lies in the fact that an established commercial star was chosen for and had accepted this role. And despite seeing this star in many avatars, we could not guess until the end – his ROLE of a lifetime.

I heard this film did not excite the box-office. Because I am guessing that the plot was leaked and after that nobody wanted to watch it.

Whatever may be the case, the film is like the fourth lion in the Emblem. And the light that may be obstructed but can never be denied.

For this has to easily be one of the best films ever, of Indian Cinema-

And as I raise a toast for my 25th post, I also raise one for this film, the director Venu sir who I just happened to meet ( absolutely not knowing it was him) and therefore edited my end line to suit this serendipity! 😀

[acesotonic]

acesotonic reviews | Logic: “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”

hello everyone! welcome to the first album review on this blog. i have always been reviewing music from all walks of culture, languages and ‘genres’ on my instagram, but i figured putting it on an actual blog would be way neater. and because my opinion is so important, it’s more accessible in this format. so without further ado, enjoy!

Logic’s latest 16-track release, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”, had me feeling all sorts of emotions; and not all of them for the better. Some tracks were so good on their own, and some tracks made me question, “Why is this here?”. 16 tracks is long. Especially when Logic himself kept emphasising how any upcoming album would be his last... then proceeds to release another album. That makes the 16 tracks seem way longer than it should.

We begin with the first song that takes the name of the album title. The instrumental begins with a pleasant melody, and reminds you that this is indeed a Logic project. When he begins to rap, his flow is calm and emotional which grounds the listeners into this track at its most foundational level. He gets sentimental and sensitive about the album’s main themes, success and its demons that haunt the mind. But the snare comes off at some points as disruptive; an odd alien semi-grunge hit. The chorus gets lyrically cheesy (which will pop up again later), especially when Logic starts to sing (this too). I would think it was a decent start to the album, but more weak than it was strong.

The next track Homicide, a pre-release featuring Eminem, remains my favourite off of this album. Logic’s rap is rapid-fire, his lyrics are hilarious and his rhyme is impeccable. He switches into characters with his voice, which makes the song prominent. The hook is playing its role as a hook, and transitions into Eminem’s verse cooly. The older rapper’s flow felt fresh, a mix of modern styles but still very much nostalgic sounding with old school sandwich-rhyme schemes. The ending is still odd to me - funny - but does not reduce the quality of the track in any way. Eminem’s feature was a good one, fully fleshed out and utilised. An addictive track indeed. A total repeat.

Unfortunately, Wannabe and clickbait take the album to a downturn when it was just starting to climb. Wannabe feels out of place and almost lacked in the content it intended to have. Similarly, clickbait suffers from cohesive and juicy lyrics. Some bars that had references were fun, but that was only 2 or 4. There’s a cheesiness that is starting to pop up in these weaker tracks, either through Logic’s serious attempts at vocalising melodies or other ways.

The next piece Mama/Show Love that features YBN Cordae does not veer off from passable. The saving grace of this track’s first portion was YBN’s rap - with great content and rhyme. When the beat switches to the Show Love section, Logic’s rap feels more magnetic compared to the Mama section. This makes me feel as if the first half of this piece was not necessary. The melody of the instrumental felt a bit cheesy compared to the previous sounds as well.

It is at this point listening to Out of Sight that I realised I was getting bored. “ALrEaDy?!”. Yes. And I don’t like that. The instrumental does not have anything special to it, almost too consistent with no risk (which is contrary to the album’s themes). There is no strong hook and leads me to question the purpose of the track in this record. The next song Pardon My Ego is slightly better with some unique sampling in the beginning. Logic’s flow and some of the funny lyrics make the track’s safety net. But again, the instrumental sounds repetitive after awhile. There is no lasting impact on my ears and mind.

I started to get excited again for the next track COMMANDO, but only because it features G-Eazy. Many have said that his rap has no personality, but many have also said that he has a distinct voice and accent. I believe in the latter. The instrumental starts to sound more trendy, which I thought made sense since it featured a new generation rapper. G-Eazy had the more interesting flow compared to Logic; fast, rhyme-filled, funny and had cool switch-ups. However... it was too short. Logic’s powerless segment in the beginning made up the bulk of the track, which made COMMANDO almost forgettable.

The next song Icy also has a feature, by Gucci Mane. Logic in the beginning hook uses a high-pitched voice that comes off as comedic, but his carefree and funny lyrics make up for it ever so slightly. Gucci’s segment has a mediocre delivery, but some creative lyrics. Again, it is a very short feature which could’ve expanded to make the song more entertaining. The hook starts to get a little annoying towards the end of the song, though the overall instrumental is quite cool. In the following track Still Ballin featuring Wiz Khalifa, the roles are reversed. Logic’s flow was straightforward with clean lyrics, while Wiz’s bars were basic and fundamentally useless to the song’s theme of hustling. This is when I rather the feature not be... well... featured. Though the song speaks of something important in the life of a reckless artist, the hook comes off as lazy and does not make the song important to the album lineup.

The following track Cocaine again gets me questioning the purpose of it in the record. The instrumental is your typical arpeggio piano-based hip hop beat which is nothing I’ve not heard before. Nevertheless, Logic’s lyrics in the second half of the song get very personal and emotional. It delves into the reality that drugs and poison in music sell better than real and traumatic stories. The 808s laid out across the track becomes progressively crazy and is the most distinct aspect of the instrumental. These 2 things have made Cocaine a tolerable piece.

At the 12th track Limitless, the album almost becomes irredeemable. The record could have stopped at 10 or 11 tracks... and when the 12th one is not of high quality, a listener’s stamina drops. This track is sonically boring, and Logic’s sudden singing comes off as out of tune to my ears. The hook was bland with a repetition of “you the man”, and the existence of this whole song in the album is vague. Although, the album starts to pick up a little bit in Keanu Reeves. Logic’s flow is not stellar, he sounds bored sometimes, and the flute sound in the instrumental feels random. The piece may seem forgettable, but some of the self-referential lyrics are entertaining enough for me to keep listening. Also, the second half of the song is where his flow picks up and reminds me again of Logic’s true potential.

With 4 tracks left, Don’t Be Afraid To Be Different features Will Smith who takes a very short first verse that is lyrically featureless. The chorus has a weird-sounding synth that does nothing to amp up the track’s quality. It is also so loud during Logic’s verse that I can barely be immersed in his part. The hook is overly repetitive and does not help to make the track cohesive, like it is one whole element. But what makes this track decent is the instrumental in general, with a slight callback to It Takes Two by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock; with the rugged-sounding shakers and drum pattern. Will’s flow, while plain, was cute and nostalgic with references to his Bel Air days. It kept a part of the album a bit more interesting and colourful, to reflect the album art minimally.

As the record comes to an end, it hits hard and suddenly gives us pretty amazing final pieces. BOBBY features sampling with an attention-grabbing intro and background ad-libs chanting “Bobby!”. Logic’s lyrics are raunchy and whimsical, showing off his confidence and presenting himself as an original entity. He gets very personal about his cultural identity as well, but masks it with the funky beat that gives listeners a slightly uneasy feeling being able to access his “dangerous mind”. I do wish the drums went back to a consistent 4/4 beat after awhile and stopped going into half-time, because I was yearning for more speed in this up-beat sampling. Featuring his father’s lament about how great his son is is a sweet touch, and makes the song even more personal and unique. It adds more character to the record, even though at an arrangement stand-point, BOBBY feels oddly placed.

Finally, we reach Lost In Translation. It begins with a wistful 2000s R&B vibe with electric piano and a bit of organ rotations in the background. The bass is soulful. The drum set is muted and very much old school, taking you way back to the times of Ashanti and Ja Rule. Then almost 50 seconds into the track, the beat switches up. It still retains the soul and blues elements in the bass and electric piano. The drums, however, have become more hip hop and so is the drum pattern. I guess it is to keep the track melded into the mainly hip hop album... but I wouldn’t mind a full-on cool R&B-reminiscent outro. And then, the beat switches up for a second time. The bass has become much stronger, and electric piano melodies are funkier. Logic’s flow is so good, with catchy rhyme schemes and edgy references to Hannibal Lecter’s passion for human flesh. His rap is on-going and fresh. Suddenly though, a Japanese narrator starts to speak. I have not found an accurate translation of her segment but one thing’s for sure, she says “Rattpack, motherf***er”. The general gist of her part translates to “Thank you very much for your help” (Logic_301). This could be referring to how this album grapples with themes that may seem distant and unaccessible to most of Logic’s listeners, but uniting them all as music-lovers at the echo of his label. But why Japanese? The purpose is still unknown - at least to me. Some have argued that this is cultural appropriation, but I will leave this to Logic himself to explain. Overall though, an entertaining track with a pleasant and atmospheric finish.

Conclusion

“Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” sinks deeper into an abyss of half-starred quality at almost every track. While very few from the many 16 selections of songs stand out to be great, like Homicide and BOBBY, majority of the album barely skims the surface of “passable”. We expected to see a raw and unedited form of Logic on this record. Instead, it came off as unsealed and unready to be released into the wild. The good songs are very strong, while the weak songs are absolutely underwhelming.

4.75/10

[mvsicbookfrxndom]

I’m back

Okay lovely people, especially the soccer fandom that has stayed with me...

Before I even say a single word, I need to address this. My inbox currently contains 99+ messages. Yes, you heard that right. So if I have not responded to your message in literally months, that is the reason. I deeply, deeply apologize, and I want to stress that I will try to make time for everything and maximize my  time management skills in the future. I have detailed the other reasons for my disappearance below as well.

Now that finals are almost over and I have adjusted more to my new school, I am able to pay more attention and put more effort into my account. These past few months I haven’t been on tumblr at all, and lately I’ve only been liking posts instead of reblogging them or even *gasp* creating my own posts. But I have arisen out of the ashes like a phoenix to say that I will now try to put as much effort into maintaining this blog as I can! I am determined to make it work and balance out my schoolwork, extracurriculars, and social media accounts!

To give you all a glimpse into my life and my responsibilities...

I go to a VERY difficult school with a ton of schoolwork.

I spend most of my time after school participating in a variety of extracurriculars.

It’s a residential school, and the WiFi goes off at 11:30...and I don’t have a hotspot.

Did I mention the workload??!

Not only that! I have other social medias that need maintaining as well.

Facebook (for school)

Instagram (basically to keep up with soccer & Habesha cultural stuff)

Snapchat (to keep up with news of people in my school)

This account (for obvious reasons)

Wattpad (I’ve barely logged on in so long)

Reddit (I LOVE REDDIT OKAY)

Quora (gotta help people get them answers amirite)

Quotev (which is hella dead)

Pinterest (gotta look at them pics)

Imgur (refer to parentheses above)

AO3 (which is basically dead because I haven’t found time to write fanfiction AT ALL)

A fucking DEAD Discord account that to be fair I never use anymore

etc.

My typical day looks like this:

Wake up, go to school, etc.

Call my mother for at least 15 minutes a day. If my sister is able to call me, that’s basically an hour out of my schedule right there.

Finish homework due the next day.

Check texts to see if my parents/in person friends have texted me.

Check Facebook and Messenger to stay in touch with school things.

Watch Snapchat and Instagram stories for the latest topical news.

Usually, by the time all that has been finished, it is already 11:30 and my time is completely gone. It makes me so mad.

After doing all that, I start working on homework due the next day. The grind pretty much never stops. I’m pretty sure it will only stop after finals, and even then only temporarily. However, I am so willing to grind my ass off in order to reclaim my life.

I’m so profoundly upset and saddened by the number of online friends I have lost due to the mental, physical, and psychological stresses that have been put on me ever since I entered school. They think the reason I have disappeared is because I don’t care about them, but that is not it at all whatsoever. I love them far more than I could ever love myself. My love for them is so deep and I wish I could cut out my heart from my chest so they could see it bleed for them. I hope they know who they are as they read this, if they read this. It has been such a difficult adjustment in my life for me that I’ve basically cut off all ties just so I can stay successful. My grades have been slipping and I’m so terrified that I won’t be able to pay for my college education because I can’t get scholarships with Bs on my transcript because of the astronomical amount of competition. In general, I’m just...really scared.

My mental health has severely deteriorated ever since an incident occurred to me over the summer, close after the end of school. I think that is why the World Cup and soccer had such an effect on me - I was so lost, and needed something in my life that would make me happy and make life worth living again, and that was soccer, right there in its beautiful glory for me to fall in love with and feel love again. However, I am determined not to let the darkness win. I HAVE to fight back. It is the only way I can reclaim everything I have lost.

Here are my goals for the future. I want to share them with you all. So that they’re out there in the world and I have no choice but to commit.

Finish ALL my homework and STUDY.

Start a YouTube channel containing my song covers.

I put these in bullet points because these are running goals, so they’re in progress.

Send my sister all of her photos. I’m an asshole for making her wait this long. I’m an asshole for making all of you wait this long.

Respond to all 99+ inbox messages I’ve received. (I’m so sorry, all of you. I will reply, I swear. Just give me time. I know you already have.)

Respond to all my Wattpad messages.

Respond to all my emails on all of my accounts and clean up all of my email accounts, especially when it comes to writing emails to my business card people plaguing my phone!

Organize all of my photos and upload them to either my Drive or Google Photos so I can blissfully mass delete them and gain a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and indescribable joy.

Eliminate all of the open incognito tabs on my phone.

Organize both of my Google Drives, especially their folders and individual docs.

Clean up my Spotify ffs!!!

Finish my Very Long Fanfic Project.

Write other fanfics that I’ve been planning to write for such a long time, before I either lose inspiration or forget about them altogether. Making sure they are oneshots and not Very Long Fanfic Projects so they’ll, like, actually get written finished.

Reorganize and revolutionize my tumblr page so it is more clean with better tags. Also maybe change its HTML/CSS up so it’s more lit.

Fix all of my old Wattpad accounts, the ones that weren’t my main account. I feel like some people were counting on those.

Finish all of my old fanfics. Every single one that I started and never quite completed (on AO3 AND Wattpad).

Resurrect my Quora, Quotev, and Reddit accounts from the internet grave. They are pretty much my ultimate failed experiments.

Begin doing research on internships, colleges, and career choices, as well as interests and hobbies or stuff you’d like to learn how to do.

Start writing my own original works - including, but not limited to - books, short stories, poems, songs, raps, editorial articles, essays, and film scripts.

Finish Mr. Robot, Hannibal, and Sherlock.

Watch SKAM Austin.

Start watching movies.

As you can see, this is a very long ass list. I know it will take a long time. I know it will not be easy. But sometimes, writing things down and realizing how difficult they will be to accomplish is the first step in actually fixing them. I hope I can.

thanks for coming to my ted talk everyone. please dm me if you have any questions with what i said above. i love you all.

[ethicsbecomeaesthetics]

I just need to know how they survived that fucking fall

So I meant to just give an offhand reply to this and I’m sure this is all wayyyy more than you wanted to hear, but surprise, I don’t know how to shut up once I start talkingabout Hannibal, so I started writing some meta and I might as well post it. And it gets weird because that’s how I roll.

The easy answer is: they survivehowever the hell everyone else in this show survives things they reallyshouldn’t survive. Between sheer luck and Hannibal’s level of medicalskill I’m sure they’ll find a way.

To complicate things unnecessarily:I think, in the spirit of this series’ particular brand of strangeness, they survive because the fall and its consequences are as muchmetaphorical as they are literal, and because of this they’re able to bypassreality and survive through sheer power of symbolism. Which sounds weird ashell, but we’re dealing with a universe where a bird can be sealed intosomeone’s chest cavity and fly out alive and a priest can actually see thephantom of Abigail that Will carries with him. (For asimilar case of Hannibal transcending the laws of our reality, I highlyrecommend checking out bonearenaofmyskull’s theory in which Chiyoh stopped aging because she was at Lecter Manor, which isin Hannibal’s time palace. The piece of meta on temporality that’s linked in there is absolutely fantastic.)

Death/rebirth is the most obvious theme here, so they do “die” when they hit the water but are “reborn” whenthey emerge from it. This is obviously appropriate for Will, who has justreached a huge turning point thatwill redefine every aspect of his life, but I think it’s equally true forHannibal. Hannibal allows Will topull him off that cliff without even the slightest struggle and is now able toadmit that he cares about Will too much to kill him, even when Will endangershis life – basically, he’s reached the point where Will is more important tohim than self-preservation, and I think WotL is the first time he has actuallygiven in and accepted the depth of his feelings rather than desperatelyclinging onto the illusion of control. And making and accepting that kind ofemotional bond for the first time since childhood, at least? It will change who he is.

Then we have to remember that accordingto Bedelia the characters are all “Dante’s pilgrims” making their way throughthe Inferno, and the cliff where they jumped visually references that.So, two observations below the cut (keeping in mind I’m no expert on the Inferno, so anyonefeel free to jump in if I’m getting things wrong):

1. “Dante’s pilgrims” puts them inthe position of Dante the character (at least, Will is – don’t ask me to analyzeHannibal in this context, even though in some ways he fits Virgil’s role asguide. I’m just going to go with, more generally speaking, he’s Lucifer so hecan’t really die), and the thing about Dante as a pilgrim is that he has theunique opportunity to see Hell without actually dying. And there are parts inthe Inferno where people are actively freaking out because he should be dead but he isn’t actually. So when they visually jump headfirstinto the Inferno from the cliff, and Will has officially fallen down Hannibal’shellish rabbithole, as a “pilgrim” he has the privilege of reentering the worldof the living afterwards.

2. Dante places those guilty of violence against others,including murderers, immersed in a river of boiling blood, and the more guiltythey are, the more fully they are immersed. Now, of the two of them I’d say Hannibalis the only one whose crimes actually justify him being that deeply immersed, but Ithink, despite the fact that he’s only killed in self-defense, Will feels like a murderer at that point,rather than just a wrathful agent of good. If he didn’t feel guilt over that, Idon’t think he’d be trying to kill himself as well as Hannibal. The ocean isn’texactly a river of blood, but they’re certainly both bloody enough for us to have a nice visual of the water turning red around them and “boiling” withbubbles as they sink, yeah? (We already had a visual of Will sinking in an oceanof blood in s3, so I don’t know if it would be repetitive, but I stillhalf-expect this in theoretical s4.) If you want to take it even further, theinner circle of treachery has people trapped in a frozen lake, which you can compareto the freezing Atlantic and the running theme of betrayal between these two(particularly considering Will just turned their romantic hug into amurder-suicide). So when Will decides they are both too guilty to live and choosesto condemn them both to death, he’s judging the weight of their sins,and this means they are plunged into the Inferno (rather than the sea, if you like).

The thing with positioning them as the “sinners” is that thepeople being punished were dead,permanently. But there were repeated references in s3 to Will already havingdied and being dead. In this sense, Will cannot die when he falls from thecliff because he is already dead (and now damned). And if it seemscontradictory that he would be both temporarily-dead pilgrim and already-deadsinner, just remember how many times they switched around the Jesus/Judassymbolism between Will and Hannibal. There are a lot of contradictions inherent in this show.

Side note: If we’re going with Will=Dante andHannibal=immortal (or =Virgil, for that matter – Virgil leads Dante out of helland into purgatory, which is supposed to be an island in the southernhemisphere, so I think that counts as returning him to the world of the living?),it makes a good case for Will literally dying (crossing the boundary betweenthe world of the living and the dead) and Hannibal being the one to carry himout of the sea and bring him back to life. This could theoretically be helpedby the fact that the Atlantic is going to be cold af in winter and hypothermiaextends the time you can be successfully revived to an insane extent (hours insome cases). This depends on a lot of factors and is most successful if you dieof hypothermia, but I did find a casewhere a child drowned in near-freezing water, was submerged in it for ~30 min.,and was revived with no neurological damage two hours later. At any rate havefun with the nightmare of Will being dead for over an hour before Hannibal isfinally able to revive him.

[the-fandom-newsletter]

Fandom Newsletter #4

Today is Friday, the 26th of October, and Welcome back to another Fandom Newsletter! 

Writers: Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, YoursTruly Editors: Fyne and YoursTruly 

“Oh my God, Karen! You can’t just ask people why they’re white.” ~Mean Girls

Let’s get started! 

First to YoursTruly with the Horror, Hannibal, Tim Burton, Animation, and Gaming fandoms--

Horror: Horror fans love the new Halloween movie! The movie has been a massive success among fans young and old! The movie gives off a nostalgic vibe, even referencing the older movies several times throughout the film. However, if you’re going to see this movie, stay until after the credits, there’s a little surprise at the end. 

Hannibal: The Fannibals have began trying to bargain with show runner and producer Bryan Fuller for another season. The show left off on a not so satisfying conclusion, and many fans want more. Bryan Fuller has even teased the idea himself quite a few times. Will we get another season one day? Guess we’ll have to wait and see. 

Tim Burton: Disney is offering, throughout the month of October, Halloween themed cruises. They even offer an onboard show featuring Jack Skellington and Sally. And you can even meet these characters for pictures! Now that’s a cruise! Also- The Nightmare Before Christmas celebrates its 25th anniversary this year! 

YouTube: YouTube recently crashed worldwide for two hours. YouTube hasn’t said much about the incident, but problems like this are becoming more and more common on YouTube. Many people are wondering what the causes of these issues are. 

Animation: Goretober is in full swing! Many animators have been uploading their daily Goretober art. 

Gaming: The season of scary game releases is upon us! October is the month where many creators on platforms like Steam and Gamejolt are releasing their horror games in anticipation for Halloween. 

Now to Blackpurrl with the Harry Potter and Bands fandoms, along with World News--

Harry Potter: Countdown to Fantastic Beasts: 27 days!

Bands: Did you know, about twelve hours of songs are uploaded to SoundCloud every minute? Insane!

World News: Denmark Shooting for the Digital Stars

Next to Fyne with the Sherlock, Supernatural, and Spooptober fandoms, as well as the weekly positive news--

Sherlock - Ever wonder how our beloved show even came to be? Apparently, for years, writers Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss took a train to and from Cardiff while working on Doctor Who, and discussed various projects they were interested in doing. One that kept coming up repeatedly was a modern-day adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. This reportedly went on for some time (with neither man making any particular effort to get it up and going) until Moffat’s wife, Sue, invited both men out for lunch. Her place of choice just so happened to be the Criterion, a watering hole and eatery in London’s Piccadilly Circus. It just so happens to be the same place where the fictional John Watson (Sherlock’s best friend) first hears of the famed detective. The two men got the hint and began working on the series, bringing us our show that we have today. I think we all owe Sue a little bit of a thank you, don’t you?

Supernatural - Did you notice that (according to Archangel Michael in the episode The Song Remains the Same) Dean and Sam come from the bloodline of Cain and Abel? So is this important? Or is this just another coincidence?

Spooptober - This year is the year that Halloween movie Hocus Pocus reaches its 25th anniversary. The premise of the movie is this: After moving to Salem, Massachusetts, teenager Max Dennison explores an abandoned house with his sister Dani and their new friend, Allison. After dismissing a story Allison says is superstitious, Max accidentally frees a coven of evil witches who used to live in the house. Now, with the help of a magical cat, the kids must steal the witches' book of spells to stop them from becoming immortal.A family favorite movie that almost everyone has seen and that is playing on at least one channel nearly every night of October. If you haven’t seen this iconic movie, you definitely should go channel surfing at some point this month.

Positive News - The words we use to talk about mental health can perpetuate stigmas. A new portrait project featuring people who have mental health issues aims to make us think again about the language we choose.

Lastly to Atlas with the Voltron, Musicals, and Movie fandoms--

Voltron: This fandom is a ticking time bomb set for December 14th. We are all going to die.

Musicals: George Salazar ships Boyf-riends! 

Movies: Who else wants a live action Corpse Bride?

Now back to Blackpurrl with the weekly movie review--

Movie Review: Hannibal Rising

This movie relays the story of Hannibal Lecter’s childhood. Although most of the especially gory parts are not on camera, the viewer eventually knows exactly what became of the victim. It provides an interesting plot, and explains why the famous cannibal does what he does. I would not recommend this movie to anyone under thirteen or anyone who cannot handle tragic stories. Overall, I’d give it a 10/10.

And back to Fyne with the weekly trivia fact and quiz--

Trivia Fact - Did you know that the inventor of liquid soap became paralyzed after he slipped in the shower?

Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

1. You fail a test. What is your reaction?

A. I'm stupid. I’m going to fail my exams.

B. This was just a blip. I’ll do better next time. 

C. The questions were too hard. This is where my abilities stand.

2. You have quit smoking, but you accidentally have a cigarette. Which of the following is your reaction?

A. You have been set back, so you just go right back into the addiction.

B. You have been set back, but you believe you can quit again.

C. You have been set back, so you come up with ways to avoid similar circumstances that led you to the set back.

3. You are shown a picture of a man who isn’t smiling. What do you think this man is feeling/doing?

A. The man is plotting, rude, or experiencing something unpleasant.

B. The man is relaxing, thinking, or did not have enough time to smile. 

C. The man is posing for the picture.

4. A close friend of yours sets you up on a blind date. How do you feel about this?

A. You have no clue what your date is like and you are afraid they’re going to set you up with a complete loser.

B. You have faith in their opinion and want to see for yourself what your date is going to be like. 

C. You decide to see what your date is like and decide for yourself how well your friend did. 

5. You’re a business owner who goes bankrupt. How do you proceed?

A. You see this failure as a sign that you are not meant to be in this business and pursue other options.

B. You see this failure as a lesson and use it to help you further your business in future reference.

C. You see this failure as a sign and choose to make plans to pull yourself out of bankruptcy.

6. You get a raise. How do you feel about it?

A. You don’t understand why you got the raise and you wonder if there is an ulterior motive.

B. You accept the raise happily, glad that your hard work has finally been recognized.

C. Yay! More money!

7. You’re an accountant and today you made a mistake with a number. What is your reaction?

A. You figure out where you went wrong, and then feel horrible about it for a long time afterward, questioning your abilities and worthiness as an accountant.

B. You figure out where you went wrong, fix it, and move forward.

C. You recognize the mistake and move on. 

8. You have a bad day. Which of these is you after the day is over?

A. You believe that your life has been full of hardship and negative experiences.

B. You see the bad days as part of your life that help you grow or benefit you in some way.

C. Recognize that you had a bad day, and resolve to try again tomorrow. 

9. You are struggling with groceries and someone comes to help you. How do you respond? 

A. You become suspicious, tell them that you have nothing to give them, and maybe even yell at them to leave you alone.

B. You thank them and talk about their day or ask them about themselves.

C. You politely say thank you and either accept or decline their help. 

10. You go on a vacation. Which of these is you?

A. Complain about everything you do and could potentially do, and eventually wind up not wanting to do anything at all but watch TV in the hotel room.

B. You want to experience as much as the location has to offer, even though you had no plans about what to do.

C. You enjoy the vacation and plan extensively about what you want to do and when.

Mostly A’s: You appear to be a pessimist. Always seeing the bad and negative in everything probably isn’t helping you be any happier or lead a happier life. Try and maybe appreciate things more often.

Mostly B’s: You appear to be an optimist. Always seeing the good and positive is probably helping you be fairly happy, and even leading to a happier life style. Though try not to be too optimistic all the time because it may end up hurting you in the long run.

Mostly C’s: You appear to be a realist. I guess you’re sort of a neutral character. Good for you.

(This isn’t physiologically proven, its literally just a test I made up in my free time so don’t take the results to heart and please do not be offended)

And finally, back to YoursTruly with the weekly book review--

Book Review- The Life Of P.T. Barnum is a fantastic book for anyone who loves a good biography. The book is a wildly entertaining autobiography by P.T. Barnum about his own life, starting from his childhood and following him through all his adventures. All in all, a fantastic book. 10/10 

Wish our illustrator and writer Blackpurrl a happy birthday today! Comic is brought to you by our very talented artist, Blackpurrl. That’s all for this week, we’ll see you next week with another Fandom Newsletter! 

Signing off, 

Atlas, Blackpurrl, Fyne, and YoursTruly 

[detectivehannibal]

Dr. Lecter Will See You Now

__

Hannibal Lecter x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Language.

A/N: Award for the worst title goes to me. Also, I’m gonna give third person a try. I have a love-hate for second person.

Requested by: @lousyydimwit

Word Count: 1,719

“It is. Do you have an eye for brands, Dr. Lecter?”

__

She was spoiled. It was as simple as that. She had always had everything handed to her on a silver platter. She knew this, of course. She wasn’t exactly stupid. A little blind to reality maybe, but not stupid. Everyone tended to have a bit of an immediate judgement when it came to her. She was always well put together and never had any part of her that was out of place. She was determined to be at her best all the time, mainly because everyone expected her to be. She never really thought about how exhausting it could be.

Her parents had worked endlessly in their early years of marriage and careers to ensure that she’d have the most stress free life possible. They struck it big and were able to send their little girl to the finest schools possible to assure her success. She had lived a VERY comfortable life. 

Still, she enjoyed being given anything she could ever want and/or dream of. She loved her lavish life. At least, until she was told that her time was up. Her parents had always told her that they would always take care of her until she was old enough to handle herself. She was 25 now and well past the age of being able to provide for herself. They weren’t cutting her off so to speak. They would just casually begin sending her less and less money until they were sure she was fine to make it on her own. So, they dropped the bombshell on her. 

She was going to have to get a job.

She wasn’t angry or anything. She knew this day would come eventually. She just hated that it came so quickly. At first, it was hard for her to accept that she was finally going to have to become a working adult, but she kind of found it exciting once she began job searching. 

But not just any job would do. She would rather be dead than work in a job that required real hard labor. She just wasn’t cut out (or used) to that sort of scene. God forbid that she break a nail while working. She ruled out waitressing, any kind of retail job, or anything that involved intense customer service. Her options were slimming down fast and she was getting discouraged. That’s when she found her golden ticket. 

She was skimming through the paper one morning when she saw an ad saying that a psychiatrist in the Baltimore area was in need of a secretary. She wasn’t familiar with the name of the therapist...but he looked oddly familiar. In any event, she saw this as her chance at work. She dialed the number, set up a time for an interview, and she was well on her way.

Here’s a little secret. She didn’t actually expect to get the job. She thought that Dr. Lecter would be interested enough in her to give her a recommendation for another job opening, not actually hire her as his secretary. Which was why she was stunned when he basically hired her on the spot and told her that she would start the following morning. When she realized that this was actually happening, she knew she had to put her absolute best presence forward. At least, until she was comfortable to relax into it. What he didn’t know, however, was just how much of an impact she was going to have on his life. 

She arrived on time the next morning, ready to get to work. Her job was pretty simple. Answer the phone, check in his patients as they arrived, take messages for him when he was in a session, get him coffee when requested. The basic assistant kind of job. She sat behind the desk in the lobby of his office, acquainting herself with the new area. He exited his office a little after lunch to check on her. It had really been the first time he had actually interacted with her that day.

“Ms. [Y/L/N],” He said standing in front of the desk. She looked up at him respectfully, but a hint of a smirk on her face; “I presume you are settling in nicely?”

On top of being a privileged lady, she was a fast learner. All her years of extensive schooling had prepared her in ways she never expected. She was acing her first day, much to his surprise. He was extremely observant and he expected her to be...well...kind of an idiot. 

“Yes, Dr. Lecter. Everything is just fine.” She replied confidently.

He hadn’t figured it out just yet, but he found her rather interesting. She wasn’t intimidated by him like most people were. As a matter of fact, that was the very reason he had been in need of a new secretary. The last one was so frightened of Hannibal that she took her talents elsewhere. It wasn’t like he had tried to kill her or anything. He had only done that to one of his former secretaries. 

“Good. I was hoping you were adjusting well.” He responded, putting his hands in his pockets.

She smiled, returning to her work briefly before realizing he was still standing there. She raised a brow;

“Do you need something?” She asked sweetly.

He was looking at her outfit. A skirt, blouse, and blazer with a pair of heels. He noted that it was a quite expensive getup, something none of his previous assistants had worn. 

“No, but I must ask. Is that Alexander McQueen you’re currently wearing?” He asked. 

He knew the answer was yes, but he wanted to see if she actually knew herself. He was beginning to get an inkling that she had come from a more than rich lifestyle. Luckily, she did actually know what it was, but she didn’t always know the origins of her clothes. Everything had always been bought for her. 

“It is. Do you have an eye for brands, Dr. Lecter?” She questioned.

He gave the slightest smile;

“I tend to, yes.” He answered simply.

He walked back into his office to prepare for his next appointment. She was a little disappointed that the conversation had ended so abruptly, but she knew that wouldn’t be the last time she ever spoke to him. This was a full time gig after all. She was over the moon with how things were going and it looked like she was going to be just fine.

Her first week went by without a hitch and the more conversations she had with Hannibal, the more bold she became. She didn’t know it yet, but she was finally having a say in her life. She was able to make decisions without something popping in to suggest her otherwise. She could be herself. However, her real self caused annoyance to come out of Dr. Lecter. But he was a patient man. He knew she just wanted to impress him. Even though he wouldn’t tell her yet, she was the best secretary he had been able to have in years. That still didn’t stop the twinge of irritation in his chest every time she said something unprofessional.

He entered the office around 7:00 AM, briskly walking by her desk like a man on a mission. She gave a fake offended gasp;

“Well, good morning, Dr. Lecter!” She called after him. 

He stopped at his doorway. He would admit, that was rather rude. He turned to face her;

“Good morning, [Y/N].”

That’s when she realized why he had been in such a hurry to get into his office. Coffee had been spilled all down the front of his white collared shirt and his pants. She couldn’t help but laugh lightly;

“Oh, I see you’ve had a great start to the morning,” She said sarcastically; “Would you like me to go get you another outfit?” She asked reaching for her keys.

“No, that won’t be necessary. I keep a spare in my office closet.” He explained.

She paused for a second, then a devious grin spread on her face. He mentally slapped himself, knowing she had found humor in what he had just said. 

“Do you now? Is it often that you have to change clothes while at work?” She asked, giving an implication that he wasn’t catching on to yet.

“It’s only for situations like this,” He said referring to his coffee stained outfit; “What are you inferring?”

She stood from her chair, leaning against the desk;

“Well, I’m sure you have to do something in between sessions.” She hinted.

What an insane accusation! He would never...pleasure himself while at work. And even if he did, he surely wouldn’t tell her about it. His posture and expression stayed unchanged, but he was getting agitated.

“I’m not sure I appreciate that statement, [Y/N].” He said honestly.

She was unfazed and pressed on;

“Come on, Dr. Lecter. I know you get bored in there. I’d probably do it too,” She admitted; “Honestly, if I looked like you? I know I would do it.” She flirted.

Now he was taken aback. That was quite the confession coming from his secretary. He was mentally noting to himself that this was probably why he was so intrigued by her. She wasn’t like his previous secretaries in the sense that she wasn’t afraid to say anything to his face. She was extremely honest and forward with her thoughts. He found that refreshing in a way.

“I’m flattered that you think that of me.” He accepted the compliment.

She shrugged, running a hand through her hair;

“I’m just saying.” She replied, sitting back down at her desk.

He pondered her words. Surely, there wasn’t anything wrong with being attracted to his secretary...or anything wrong with his secretary being attracted to him. He was still at his door, deep in thought. She noted the time was now 7:15, and he had his first patient at 7:30.

“Dr. Lecter,” She said snapping him out of his daze; “Paula Wallace’s appointment is in fifteen minutes.”

He nodded, getting back to work;

“Right. Of course.”

He retreated into his office finally to change into a new shirt and pants. A fresh thought entered his mind as he finished buttoning his shirt;

Maybe this new secretary was the best thing that had ever happened to him.