#at least not on reflective surfaces thats for sure

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Can't seem to stop drawing this guy

[pen-observing]

a human myth of red v - fin.

synopsis: Jade started to think that you two were finally growing closer. Without a clear answer, it seemed like you both started to grow apart - until one day a box only meant for him arrives.

word count: 5k

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ]

Jade Leech has come to understand more about being a human in this period and he has to say that he has found himself growing more exhausted day by day. The manners, the ways society interacts, how bonds are formed, the need humans have for misunderstandings, their trinkets – all of it. Perhaps he has himself to blame – this ‘experiment’ has made him tired far more than he initially thought it would.  

It sounds odd – that is why he stand in front of a mirror; to admit it to himself at least – but he has started to feel more human too. And that was an epiphany that he was not ready for. And it all came from you.  

That damned string, his own curios mind and everything that followed. Even this very act. The fact that he has decided to stand in front of a mirror like this; to look at his own reflection and analyse just who is looking back at him and how they have changed – that is because of you too.   How many times has je found glass fragments in the deep sea? They were just something shiny back then, something to bring to Floyd and to play with. And now, after all of it, those fragments make up this mirror that he cannot bring himself to look away from.  

The surface of the sea serves the same purpose but why does he feel this one so deeply? Why does he keep hoping an answer would come if he just witnesses himself in silence?   On the surface of the sea, he has never though so deeply about it serving as a witness to all of his ponderings.  

He has started to feel more human. And he hates to say it – but even these thoughts come from an inner hurt. And you are to blame.  

Just when he finally felt progress in getting to know you – you changed your seat. He thinks you did it so you wouldn’t have to talk to him. He gets to gaze at you fully now; more longingly than ever and he hates it.  

You’ve created this distance. You were the one who walked into his job a few days ago opening up, and now you walk past him in the hallways without hesitation.  

Jade Leech hates being called foolish. But he supposes no other word describes his current state better. He was foolish and he curses his mind for growing even more curious now searching as to why.  

Perhaps he should ask you. But his pride, and the memory of what he did on the first day prevent him. He thinks it is the best that way.  

But others do not.  

Floyd always hated how Jade would start to walk with a determination unplaced when he was going through something. He hates to admit it – but instinctively both of them knew when a shift had occurred but, in these times, whatever Floyd thought of doing to help would only cause something worse.  

And Azul, he did not have instinct towards Jade’s specific moods but he was rational enough to notice when someone so close started to change.   Jade was becoming even more cold; even more calculating. That juxtaposed with his natural tendency to keep things in and the way his knuckles would grab and press even the mop he used to clean counters with – Azul sensed that nothing good would come out of it. 

That is why, on one early and cold morning, both Azul and Floyd were hesitant.  

“This box is not for us.”  “I know that, Floyd.” Azul said while closing the door and locking it immediately. “I could clearly see Jade’s name as I picked it up at the front door.”  “Then why did you bring it into your office?” 

Azul could only pinch the bridge of his nose. 

“Think about it! Jade has been acting weird for the last 5 days. We both know that. And I am pretty sure this wrapped box has something to do with it.”  “Thats perfect then. Give it to him and his mood will improve.” 

Azul traced the brown wrapper with his fingers before he sat down. 

“I do not plan to open it myself if that is what you are afraid of.”  “Then what do you plan to do?”  “I am still thinking. If anything was able to influence Jade that badly; imagine how much he could continue to be affected by this. We are lucky he left to hike at 4 am this morning. What if this is more bad news?”  “Jade can deal with them.”  “It is not that I don’t know that! But I can’t help to think maybe it would be good if we were to pretend this didn’t exist.”  

Floyd was getting fed up. Azul went about caring for his friends in such odd ways sometimes that Floyd had to grab the box and glare at him. 

“It belongs to Jade. He is the only one that has the right to decide what to do with this. He could burn it for all I care.”  “Floyd, it was left on our door without a knock or a bell, it has no sender or address. All it says is ‘to Jade’ written in sloppy and rushed handwriting with red ink. It is a suspicious item and-”  “Thank you for worrying about my brother. But this is going into his hands as soon as he comes back.” 

Deep down, Azul knew that Floyd was right – but his mind continued to be restless until Jade came back. Floyd placed the box inside of Jade’s hands, told him where they found it and from the way Jade’s shoulders relaxed and his eyes looked at it as if it was something deeply familiar – Azul felt his worry disappear.  

It seemed like Jade had made peace with finally knowing. Knowing what and how, he did not know – but it seemed like what bothered Jade these past few days was the pain of never having an answer at all.  

The box was small – that was the first thing Jade noticed after going into his room.   Since his name was written in red ink, he immediately felt that it was written by you.   And he knew he had to sit in front of his mirror when opening this – to have a witness once more.  

It was only a shame that his name wasn’t written with more care. He swore to himself that if he finds out yours, he would only pin it to paper with careful strokes.  

He did not hesitate in opening the box – it held all of the answers to his endless array of questions. When he removed the four corners, he saw a regular notebook inside. It had no special colors or prints; nothing that would give away the intent behind it but once he lifted it up his hand touched something on the back.  

It was a sticky note – written by a calmer hand this time – and it said: “I trust you enough with this that I believe you will read it on your own.” 

Your trust wasn’t misplaced. He hoped you knew that somehow. Especially when he opened up the notebook and saw that it wasn’t completely filled up; it stopped around the middle but it consisted only of diary entries.  

In his hurry to find answers, he skipped the calendar and immediately started reading.  

Diary entry number 1.  

I cannot believe I am doing this right now. I can’t believe I got up from my bed, turned on the lamp on the table and dug around in my desk for a dumb unused notebook and that I am writing in it right now with the first pen I grabbed. These things were always so dumb I said. I would never do a dream diary I said. And after another dream and that podcast with a really annoying male voice who recommended it as a ‘dream expert’ I threw all of that out.  

I haven’t been sleeping well. For a month or now I would say. These dreams come and go and turn into something new so randomly that I cannot pinpoint when one will occur or how I will react to them. That is why I won’t do these by date. The date is not important; they will only be numbered.  

Sometimes the dreams scare me, other times they make me comfortable. Just where do they come from? Which part of my brain? Our subconscious must be our worst enemy in this case.  

I didn’t know what else to do so I will write them down from now on.  

Why would you give him your dream diary? Jade was growing more and more curious.  

Diary entry number 2.  

I will immediately write down the dream that made me pick this up.   I was sleeping peacefully in my dream, somewhere outside in field filled with countless flowers of various colors. My bed looked like the ones that most expensive actors use. Why am I mentioning that? Well, the vails from the top started moving and someone kept tugging on my hair. When I opened my eyes, gold dust was all over my cheeks and my hair was being tugged by a small fairy. She rolled her eyes at me and told me ‘Finally!’ and she continued talking but all I heard after that was ‘Don’t you dare be late!’ 

So I asked her for what I will be late and she looked at me with disgust. She made me float and placed my feet on the flower field and she kept repeating him! Him! Him! Who did she mean? Why did she do that? It was all getting too much and I decided to run away.  

I don’t remember if she chased me – all I know is that I ran and ran until my feet were too tired. Finally, I decided to look back and I didn’t see her.  

But, as soon as I fell down on my knees, a red flower grew 20 times in size. Its petals wrapped around me and it closed up. A dark voice spoke and said I was late. I was late to him. And those petals became my prison. Who is he? Why am I suffering because of him?! 

Jade started to wonder if with this – it meant that you subconsciously saw him or love as prison itself. 

Diary entry number 3. 

It has been a few days without any dreams at all. I was able to rest so I suppose this dumb diary worked in my favour so that is good...if I had to admit to it. I am still unsure about it all but I have to say this dream did not wake me up – I just remember it because it wasn’t either scary or nice. Dreams can have middles too I suppose. 

Could I call this one an answer? I don’t know. But I felt safe.  

I was simply walking in the park, I felt anxious and scared at first. Everything around me was grey, every other human besides me. And then in a distance, I saw my neighbour and friend. His red hair was the only thing with color in my dream. This time I ran and ran to catch him, he was still. I threw myself on him to hug him. And immediately I felt safe. Like I had found an answer. It doesn’t matter that I do not even know the question. 

Perhaps this was the same friend he saw you with during his first day on land? 

Diary entry number 4. 

Today was... uncomfortable for me. The last dream made me think that I had to chase my friend and be with him just to feel safe so that more of them would not come and wake me up. Ridiculous, I know but I truly thought I had found an answer!  

We started going to the same prestigious school and when I saw him in that hallway, I thought to myself ‘This is like that dream.’ so I searched for the perfect way to approach him. And I realized we are more acquaintances than close friends – both of us felt uncomfortable with that interaction. I thought about hugging him because that happened in the dream but I did not because I know enough of reality to know how worse that would make all of it.   

And then I also felt such a sudden sharp pain in my finger that I almost started crying from it. It felt like something inside of me broke down and refused to be well? Was I well myself? Seems like the answer to that is an obvious no. 

With all of that combined I knew my dreams would not be a peaceful place tonight so I tried to prolong them so much that I ended up exhausting myself and falling asleep while sitting on my chair. It was so uncomfortable but my dream was even worse! 

I was hanging in the middle of some space. Everything around me was dark but under me I saw the night sky. Black with white stars. But what stood out the most is that I was dangling with a singular red string holding up my body. It was wrapped all over me. My hands and legs and my torso, I think only my head was uncovered. I wasn’t facing the sky like I was hmmm how do I describe this on paper .. I was straight so I had to look down to see the sky! And if there was a ceiling in that black space- that is what the red string holding me up was attached to.  

And I found looking at that sky peaceful weirdly enough. I wasn’t worried at all. But in a split second the string somehow got cut. I think it was by some scissors? In my dream it seemed that way and I started falling. I was falling for a long time, trying to free my arms and legs from the string. I was falling straight into the sky! Everything I did was useless. I ended up falling there.  

Except at the end, I realized – it wasn’t a sky, it was the ocean! I started to sink like that, red string growing more vibrant.   But somehow, I ended up on the shore.  

I am starting to see a pattern of red finally. And I think I hate it. 

Jade knew that this dream was probably fate’s reaction to what he did back then.  

Diary entry number 5. 

I hate the color red I hate it I hate it I UTTERLY HATE IT! It just won’t leave me alone. I walk and see a red flower and remember my dream. I go to the store and avoid the red pens. I change my course because of it. And the color itself is not ugly but I am afraid of that it represents. Or, of what it should represent that I am not aware of.  

Would it be love or anger? Would it be fate or something that damages me? I do not know so I continue to worry.  

I had a dream that I was trapped in a cube of jello. It was red obviously. It was red and I could only move by such small steps no matter how much I kept trying.  

I am going to avoid jello for a while. I say jello but really it was just some thick red liquid that reminded me of it. 

I am constantly covered in red. Somehow. Even when I tried to moisturise my hands in that cube, the moisturiser was red not white. 

I really hate it 

Diary entry number 6. 

I keep saying I hate the color yet I also feel peaceful from it sometimes. Maybe it is trying to direct me or keep me safe. 

Diary entry number 7. 

Today my new professor seemed really interesting. The headmage we met often seems like he has no idea what he is doing or trying to do with this school. At least knowing the professors are capable and passionate enough despite their flaws reassures me.  

She was interesting while asking about the myths. But I felt my stomach drop when she asked about the red string of love. Because how could I be so affected by it and so dumb not to call it love sooner? If my dreams are indicative of what it is supposed to feel like I hate it.  

And to make it worse I was the only one that didn’t raise my hand. A non-believer. If only the rest of them knew how scary it was to constantly have red in your dreams but to also feel safe from it.  

I don’t hate the professor – I just hate this constant unease. 

Jade did wonder what went through your head and why you answered the way you did now. He cannot say he ever imagined you would feel like this during that class. 

Diary entry number 8.  

I am unsure of how to view love. That, at least, I know. 

Diary entry number 9. 

I had a dream of that fairy again. She wasn’t tugging my hair or leaving pixie dust all over my face this time.  

I remember I was walking through some fields and found a cobblestone path. She was waiting for me there and she was crying for me. She said I had another chance. And she was happy about that. She also kept talking about love and how mine was stronger than she imagined it would be.  

I asked who he was but she wouldn’t tell me. Instead, she said I should find out on my own and a red translucent line appeared on the ground. She told me to follow it and that with time I would have my answer. So, I followed it.  

It took me to some old abandoned building with odd architecture. It was gray and when I looked back to ask her why I ended up here she just told me ‘Paths are unpredictable’ and that another one would show up for me soon. And then she flew off and I looked at the red line and my footsteps over it made flowers bloom. 

What a dumb dream. It felt nice still. I think I will buy that red sweater I saw in the store two days ago and wear it to his birthday. 

Jade already felt that he knew you enough to guess what happened next. 

Diary entry number 10. 

Would I be called a fool because I ignored the initial discomfort and kept trying to appear attractive and lovable to my friend? I just thought it meant we had to take time and get to know each other and that eventually I would get to that point of my dream but in real life where I got to hug him and feel all my worries melt away.  

So, I kept being friendly. Helping him with his minor issues because no matter what he refused my attempts at growing closer but he invited me to his birthday party! I thought that meant something big! So I went to the store, got that sweater to wear it specifically for that occasion, bought him a present and even wrapped it in the bag of flowers that resembled the one from my dream. That was all so expensive.  

I was hoping so much I would get to that point. To call him my boyfriend I mean, to hug him and just feel....normal again. And filled with love I guess...  

I got so ahead of myself that on the way to the party I bumped into someone, my red sweater got ruined (not really but it felt like it) and a red string got somehow mixed up with him.  

The cursed red string.  

So, I ran and decided to cut it myself. I told him I was in a hurry to see my boyfriend. With that ruined red I wanted to run away. Now I wish I hadn’t.  

I lied. To myself and to that stranger. I ran there with my lies because I was hoping and when I got there – he introduced us to his girlfriend. Told us the story about their meeting and love and I was so envious. 

They had peace. I was still with my dreams and nightmares and restless. I lied. I was foolish. And yet, all I could do was leave the present and take the bag with me.  

I don’t know what I was thinking but somehow, I know it was a piece of me and my love that I have nowhere to fucking place now. 

Pitiful. 

And I still feel so bad about lying and being such a big fool. 

Hurting your diary entries made Jade’s heart beat faster. With love or fear or simply worry for you. Maybe if he hadn’t cut it in the first place, you would have had an easier time. You wouldn’t have suffered so much. But he had to live with it. He had to keep on reading. 

Diary entry number 11. 

This happened afterwards but I had to take a break and come back to write this so I am separating them. 

After that humiliation I grabbed the bag and I couldn’t wait to be outside. I wanted to go somewhere...but everything felt too familiar so I decided to find a place I’ve never been to before. Only strangers would get to witness my humiliation I guessed and I wouldn’t feel bad for it. Then I remembered this one café that my classmates have talked about and I thought that was a good enough place to hide at. 

But I was the only person there as a guest I realized late. And I also wasn’t amongst strangers. There was only one man there – the same one I lied to earlier that day. And just like that all of my shame and pitiful nature came back to me and I wanted to leave. 

He said he was a stranger and oddly enough that was it and I decided to stay. I think I was just too exhausted from today. I even threw the bag at one point and I embarrassed myself further by being emotional about it all. He must think I am so weird! The way I just walked in there and acted is so....ugly to me.  

He said interesting things to me and was kind. He told me what the flowers on the bag meant and I remember thinking how glad I was they were only similar and not completely identical to the ones from my dream.  

He was almost too kind to a stranger like me. But I am glad someone was. I learnt his name – Jade. It is rather nice but just imagine how badly he thinks of me now! 

Now Jade understands your reasons for acting the way you did. He just wished he had asked for you name then but he is almost too glad to hear you think of him this way. 

The next diary entry looks so hurried and similar to the way his name was written on the box. 

Diary entry number 12. 

I just keep on embarrassing myself don’t I? Even in my fucking dreams I do. Well, they just make things worse. Was this really the meaning behind it all? Was he the him that fairy kept pulling my hair for and then crying for me?  

I had a dream that I was walking up invisible stairs that would flash red as soon as I stepped on them. I was in an empty space otherwise with a door high up in the sky that was my only exit or my only way forward.  

It looked...the architecture of the door reminded me of the flowers from the field and the ruins from the other dream I had. And when I finally got to them all I had to do was hold the handle and they opened to reveal the space inside.  

I remember it was simple and it seemed to ordinary when I stepped in. I looked around and it just looked like a cosy home that a couple shared. Why did I think that? I do not know but it felt that way.   I thought that there was nobody around but then someone called my name from behind. I don’t think I ever heard my name uttered with such fondness and familiarity before. And when I looked back, to see who was calling me so, Jade was standing there behind a kitchen counter. He was offering me a drink. The straw inside the drink was red.  

And in that instant the door behind me closed, my finger felt the same jab it did that day and I saw a red string unfold and make its way to his ring finger. He was wearing a ring. We both were.  

I am pathetic not to see something simple. I am pathetic to fall in love with a man after a day of meeting him.  

I just do not know what to do. These emotions are not rational. And I am a coward. I am a coward that is going to ignore him from now on. He will think even worse of me. 

Jade wishes he had that dream. Instead, he now knows why you started to ignore him and he has to say it feels like a punishment for testing fate. And it is true – he would call your name so. But you really did not know he spent all that time sitting behind you in class and knowing you before you had run into him on that street. And that too, feels like a punishment. 

Diary entry number 13. 

Jade Leech I declare my battle with this.  

I hope you made it until the end. I hope it means something to you. I was so confused and still am and this proclamation feels just as foolish as me but I couldn’t think of any other way. I did decide to ignore you and that felt so bad to me I decided to leave this diary at your door instead.  

I am writing this even when I might chicken out at the last second. But it felt like you should know.  

Either give me an answer or keep ignoring me like I am doing to you now.  

It feels like I was destined to love you and as much of a coward as I am – the annoying fairy in my dream came again and yelled at me and I woke up and wrote this before I even knew what I was doing.  

You wrote out ‘love you’. You wrote out that you love him. That was all Jade ever needed to push away his curiosity and find you the next day. Without knowing your name that was all he could do. Well, that, and rereading this diary. 

Next day, he found you in an empty classroom. You looked to be on edge but also extremely tired from it all. Perhaps you couldn’t sleep without waiting for an answer from him.  

He thought long last night how he should approach you. But after everything you both went through – simplicity seemed to be the best answer.  

He approached the door, leaned against it and just looked at you lovingly for a few seconds. He couldn’t hold it in anymore.  

He said it. He called out your name and it rolled off his tongue with budding love. He wonders if he sounded like this in your dream – based on your reaction he thinks the answer is yes.  

You tensed up and wanted to look away, but your eyes were locked on him as he approached you. Your dream diary was in his hands and he placed it on your desk.  

Unable to speak, you lowered down your gaze. This might still be a rejection. You could have made a dumb decision.  

Jade chuckled softly. He sat down next to you.  

“You know...” he began, and you were afraid. “I am glad to finally know your name.” 

He found it written above the calendar on his reread.  

“It means I get to confess my love for you in the right way.” 

And all of your worries did melt away. All of your dreams and nightmares finally made sense. That myth of red happened to be real and you just happened to be part of fate. You hugged him and from relief, the instant knowledge of both love and peace, your eyes started to sting.  

This was love. In all its glory. In all its messy nature. Both trapping you and setting you free.  

Jade said your name again. He said the words I love you and you jumped up from your seat.  

“Jade I can see it! Jade!”  “See what?”  “The string! The red sting is here and it appeared as soon as you said you love me!” 

And he looked down and saw that you were telling the truth. He tugged the string gently to distract you and then he held your wrist to tug you as well to make it seem like the string was to blame for you falling into his lap.  

He just happened to be too absorbed in you right now that he had failed to notice it before.  

“I know you said you would cosplay my guild member with me if I hacked and sent out cancellation emails about the myths class to everyone besides two people but can I ask why?” 

Azul kept squeezing the white gloves in his hands. 

“Enough with the questions while you are doing my eyeliner Idia. It was a favour for a friend...or a payback he is subjecting me to. I can’t tell anymore.” 

a/n: I present to you the final chapter of a human myth of red. I truly hope that you liked it and that all the love you've given me for it hasn't gone to waste. It has been 6 months since chapter 4 so I want to thank you for your patience. You can always talk to me about the fic and about twst!

In other news; Jade never came home so I have decided to gaslight myself into being a Rook girl.

I hope your holiday go well and heres to me writing more for twisted wonderland in 2023 Inshallah!!

Taglist:

@zeldaisapuppy @lamentingintheuniverse @crypticbibliophile @mint-moushi @mewchiili @twst-days @otaku-explosion​ @moonlube  @mikufan56​ @missam

[askfallenroyalty]

now the question is: if Suzy's family was part of the missing 7, how'd that go down?

(CW: discussion of monster death)

i always thought it was a mix of 2 things: monsters not knowing enough about the surface and humans not knowing jack squat about monsters. a monster would see a cougar and go "woah big kitty monster hi!" and then get killed by a the now very confused cougar who's covered in dust.

or maybe not even nature but rather like, i was going to say "monster's wouldn't understand cars" but that not true. Sans and Papyrus are huge car fans (sans even reads magazines about them) and the snowdin monsters talk about this without any confusion. now that could be because one of them talked about it or there's a low-level understanding by most of the underground.

i think part of the point of their interest in cars (outside of foreshadowing Papyrus getting his dream car in the pacifist ending) is to further differentiate monsters from humanity. we take cars for granted but the Underground's space is limited. their only mode of public transportation is River Person, and there's the (dreadful) hot air vents in Hotland. Otherwise you've got (i assume carts) and foot traphic.

anyway that's to say, i could see monsters being free and going out into human society and getting killed within a week cause they don't understand crosswalks.

the second option could be that a human gets rough with a monster and accidently kills them, because I'd imagine its hard to understand how weak monsters are unless you figure this out personally. like the news says "monsters are weak, be careful not to hurt them" but the moment you're like "buzz off" and swat one, it'd kill it in one hit. Heck, you could use a rolled up newspaper and do that. Or throw a pen and it'd work. If your intent is harmful and the monster is especially weak, its easy to kill/beat one up without really trying to.

And then hell, if you accidently almost killed a monster and don't want to start an international conflict, it'd be very easy to cover up the crime. there's the deleted text (from an ingame book) that explains that a monster who isn't accounted for could very easily be seen as dead as they'd have no way of knowing.

not sure what i'll pick for Suzy's family if they're tragically killed off (which, good lord, thats so frickin dark and harsh to throw at the poor girl) but i think a car accident would make the most sense? would be a good example of how ignorance each species has for each other could lead to horrible results.

the human family does not understand monsterkind and see Suzy as a novelty more so than a person at first. but once they come to understand that (or at least stop seeing her as, well, "monstrous") they'd be way overly cautious. if Suzy's parents died so easily, they'd worry Suzy could break at the drop of a pin.

Suzy's love for boxing in this AU could reflect her desire to not be treated fragiley.

[randomkposts]

What do you think the dynamic of a female Soichiro and female Light, as well as male sachicko would be?

K:- Well that would depend entirely on which variation of them we go with. We mentioned a few options in the original question, and I am sure we could come up with a lot of potential variations. But that would make it harder to answer the question... What are your thoughts Eclipse?

E:-Oh wow still got asks for gender DN. That is interesting one. The dynamic is changed in that current time its set it. To me at least seeing as Soichiro is the one in charge as a female detective

K:-I was surprised at the attention genderswap DN received. None of the other things I have posted have gotten asks about them, let alone so many. Its surprising and flattering. They like us. Its nice. Thanks for waiting.

We discussed a few. Different possibilities for how the gender change could have changed their jobs and perspectives. 

Do you think F-Soichiro being in charge as senior female detective would give her a tenser relationship with L?

E:-Mmm. I honestly think it be the same either way. But a lot more respect seeings as fem L is more restrained in her weirdness. Respect to your fellow detective in a male oriented work force. 

K:-Would probably be pretty frustrating to be on the case, only for some higher up to decide "this person is now in charge of the case" and you meet this famous detective that everyone raves about, who is adding a ludicrous amount of sugar to her tea, and decides that , no actually emptying the sugar bowl once is not enough. 

She then sends Matsuda to get more sugar and coffee for everyone else. Matsuda does, which you feel is a betrayal in some way. 

You stare at her, and wonder how in the world she was put in charge, when you have been bashing against the sexism in the system for years.

E:-!!! True! Inner sexism. 

God, working and having to put more effort into your image to be taken seriously and now meeting the world biggest detective and they're like this. 

K:-I can see her taking it with a lot of salt

E:-And maybe a brandy with it too. Fem Light also taking shots at fem Matsuda. 

K:-No, fem Light is offended. 

"Excuse you L, Matsuda is a Yagami family friend! How dare you!"

She doesn't say out loud, but is thinking.

Maybe she doesnt think the highest of Matsuda, but Ls here taking shots, and now its suddenly the biggest offense.

E:-Bahaha! Okay but I do genuinely love that! Sorry am thinking of male Light more than fem in this case. 

Its giving "Hey Only I can Pick on Her." Also loving how they are pretty close. 

K:- wait, this is meant to be about Lady Lights relationship with her gender swapped parents, and already female L is pretty heavily involved.

Hmm, the thing about Light, is she's a people pleaser on the surface. She's modeled herself on peoples expectations, climbed up on that pedestals herself, and appears perfect. Lights smart, popular and pretty, a reflection of what everyone wants from their child on the surface.

Canon Light looks up and to his parents, but does not really share his life with them... Or anyone. His father, who he looks up to, is rarely around, on the job to the point of having a perfectly natural heart attack, and his mother... I don't get the sense he knows her too well, or else she might have gotten more prominence in the story.

She notices things about him, but rarely more then he seems to want her to see. Thats kind of Light's relationship with most people. They can respect each other, but they know each other, but they know each other as roles mostly.

Sayu knows Light as brother. Perfect, helpful, and out of reach. She admires him, but doesn't try to be him, beacuse he's as out of reach to her abilities as the moon is. To his mother, Light is a dutiful and studious son, who is good at what he set's out to do. To his father, Light is the dutiful and studious and wants to be like him. An ideal son and brother.

For instance, if I remember right, she notices her son never had a serious girlfriend, and seems sad when he tells her he has one. I get the vibe that she knew he was doing something he really didn't want to on that one.

Light would proably be a little closer with her mother in this AU, in that they probably do more activities together, as its expected. Mom has things to teach her, and Light is a copycat. As the Justice based Death note AU is still going forward, she's still into Justice and planning to become an officer, and not get into teaching or whatever.

So there is still that conflict between sociential expectations, and Lights intrests causing tension, its just much more overt.

And thats in a scenario where the nuclear family dynamic is in place.

If her mother or both of them are at work, then Lights feelings about her parents get more complex. I get the sense that she's proud of them, and resents them, for how they make their family different. She's putting all this effort into being a perfect Japanese girl, but her dad stays home and her mother loves her job more then her. Maybe its why she puts so much effort into being the perfect Japanese lady in that AU.

Or in the "they both work as Cops" AU, there's more resentment, beacuse on top of being abnormal, She's also raising Sayu, and running the household, and having perfect grades and shit. Probably has more trouble with the popularity, but given canon Light managed to be poupluar with the insane amount of studying and "studying" he did, while still managing to have enough connections and clout to take a girl on a date on a murder whim, I have faith she could manage, being the overachiever she is. Insanly high Charisma stat and all.

E:- I like what you have in mind for Fem Light

K:-I  think Light finds blending in important, even as he wants to stand out as special. 

E:-As far as Light is he is the main character

K:-And it would have a lot more complicated feelings on that as a Japanese girl.

E:-The most important. The one who has hidden knowledge and of course his words are truth. 

Oh absolutely. In a society where those traits would be fantastic in a boy as a girl it is told to be muted or non existent. 

To be reserved and modest. Which isn't bad when its WILLINGLY chosen by the girl themselves. But in Light's case standing out too much isn't the way she wants. 

K:-We all  are the protagonist of our own story, but Lights to the point of viewing people as NPCs I guess. 

So, arguably is L, as he takes on cases that interest him in complexity, not necessarily for the sake of saving people.

E:-She wants that power. However as a girl she would have to go a more indirect approach. Its more of proving he can do this and nothing can go against him. 

Ego. 

K:-Willingly is a matter of debate. After all, where is the line between willing truly and social pressure of conformity to get along easier in society?

L rejects it and avoids people, and Light glues the mask firmly to his face. 

Lights a people pleaser. And that would  be even easier to see in a girl. 

E:-Actually now that you say that I do wonder how to tell if one is modest. Most think by clothing but is it personality or-?

K:-I think modest personality is not prone to bragging and playing down the praise. 

After all, people say things like "Don't be modest, you've more then earned this."

Bug I'm sure that's not all of it. 

E:-Very much so. If anything I am reminded of that Patrick Bateman quote. 

"there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there."

K:-That's a good quote.

E:-Again its surprising how it resonated with women. At first it was hated but rewatching it--- it was seen as oddly feminist. 

[cosmophaunt]

more useless capri thoughts

today i am thinking about laurent and laurent's perception of his own age

they are probably useless thoughts but i wrote them down anyway

it didn't seem very significant until a reread the weight of laurent's teasing to nicaise about nicaise's age. by that i mean to say that it seemed straight-forward: prodding at nicaise, without any deeper attachments to it.

i might have also been particularly dense, because i knew during the first read through that both aimeric and nicaise were facets of laurent and that laurent thought of them as such. (nicaise, the part of laurent cultivated by his uncle that laurent liked, and aimeric, the part of laurent cultivated by his uncle that laurent hated. it felt poetic, then, that his uncle would kill nicaise and laurent would be left to kill aimeric by himself).

so any speech between laurent and nicaise (as well as laurent and aimeric) would have the context that laurent is revealing something about himself, and i just stupidly missed that the first go around even tho i understood the surface level connections.

laurent is 20, and on the cusp of 21 (wherein lies his inheritance and the legal station of adulthood). laurent acts like an adult for the entirety of the novels, with the same productive initiative that adults go about their lives in, and of course he never really reflects on his age in the novels in a grand way, but i think there's a couple moments he really says more than he means to.

all of this really just to say that laurent still sees himself as a "boy," (and i have backup for this thought i promise), and that one of his most important internal journeys is coming to see himself as a man.

i think there are at least two instances where, in reference to himself in talking with damen, he jokes about sex between them as a man with a boy (and damen corrects him). that is one of the obvious examples

buuuuut there's also that warning he has to nicaise that really internalizes it.

laurent dresses to the nines in clothing that makes him appear more "androgynous." damen even has the thought that when laurent is out of clothes, the aspects of his masculinity are inescapable. also which is kind of nice to see is that as laurent develops his sexuality outside of that pocket of trauma re: his uncle, his need to appear androgynous also diminishes. that might sound like a leap, or sound like damen has a magical healing dick or smth, but truly i think the evidence is there. he feels comfortable wearing the chiton in king's rising; even though he cites disguise when damen comments on it, it is still significant. when he was play-disguised as a pet, even in a warmer temperature than arles, he did not show off any skin. but by king's rising, he is definitely having fun in the more revealing outfits. becoming comfortable with himself sexually in the context of adulthood should have this effect.

he also has the transformation from fighting for himself to fighting to protect others, which is probably damen's influence moreso than his acceptance of his own adulthood, but still significant because of the parental implication with jokaste's child.

anyway i just wanted to say all this because i've been thinking of that moment at the end when he tells his uncle that he is no longer a boy, and i feel like he was saying that more for himself now than for his uncle (who surely came to that conclusion 5 years prior when laurent was no longer interesting to him)

ok thats all pls carry on

[galm-2]

I demand you speak about Hugin and Munin as characters because I think I'm missing something there

GRINS EVILLY

ok so just to preface i am a little bit biased because i love cool robots and i also love reading too much into media. i would also like to preface that's been a while since i played the game in it's entirety (i'm factchecking direct quotations obv) so i may misremember some stuff

while Hugin & Munin are at a first glance faceless, soulless killing machines - and that take is not entirely incorrect - there's actually quite a lot to dig under the surface. as is the nature of machines, they solely reflect humanity and their creators. they're trained on Mihaly's (and presumably others' as well) flight data, and that data is not a neutral statistic. it's something thats been carefully trained and cultivated and influenced throughout a lifetime. they're powered by onboard AI and are shown to have complex thought processes related to their mission and how to accomplish it. they strategize, they plan ahead, they notice Trigger's exceptional skill and bait him out to continue learning from him. the reasonable assumption to make is that they at least have more going on under the hood than simply "kill on sight" and "make more drones" though that is their primary objective as instructed in their code.

once again evoking the imagery of mirrors and reflection, Hugin & Munin are exceptionally packed with symbolism and parallels to previous events and characters and, like i mentioned, are the thematic bow on which everything is tied up. They're Mihaly's severed wings, they're Schroeder's egotism, they're Trigger's final test, they're the great evil that both sides must come together to defeat. it makes me think about how trying to anthropomorphize and project humanity onto something will always yield a reflection of the self, irrelevant to if it has it's own inner world or not (cough cough, neurodivergent in me, ironically, projecting…)

they're the ultimate enemy in that nothing they do is personal or bloodlust or power hunger, they're simply doing what they were programmed to do. and all of it when they were less than a day old. newborns. it almost makes me sad in a weird way. i'm sure a peaceful solution could've been possible if somehow Schroeder could've remotely neutered the murderbot part of their AI, but oh well.

[kindestegg]

This has kind of floated around my mind once or twice and I have now decided to maybe post on it... it is, ahem, interesting rather even intriguing and puzzling to me to say the least that it seems that in some people's minds, collector being a child is a disservice to their character and makes them less interesting, which is often why they try to fight tooth and nail to claim otherwise despite there being plenty of evidence out there.

But what I want to get at is that I simply disagree with this notion: to me, them being a child is far more interesting than them being some adult trickster like so many we have seen before. Now, as for how the general overview of the fandom seems to reflect that notion, I will agree that surface level the "iPad kid/kid on minecraft creative mode" memes can get quite grating, Specially when they drown out any analytical thought exercises on the character.

But even admitting to the futility of such material, a better look will prove that there also quite a lot of artists who make that concept work and theorists who dive quite well into the implications of it, and those memes are just that- memes, bound to exist in any fandom because it was never theyre meant to fully summarize a character well anyway, just be funny.

Speaking anecdotally also, I remember when I was first introduced to collector way back in hollow mind, and though I adored his character even then, my first thought was not that he was a child, but rather that this was some ambiguously aged fun trickster chaotic creature like many I had seen before, which pleased me either way because I like this character archetype! And thus for a brief period I did enjoy the character as that, not considering they'd be a child, and though I had fun with the concept of them, I didn't have many deep thoughts on them just "hahha chaotic weirdo funny".

That is... until I read someone's post suggesting he could be a child. And once I actually took that suggestion in and considered it, it shattered my mind and my heart soon followed after. I remember the rant I gave in the spoiler channel of my group chat, franctly rambling about how this changed everything. "Thats... thats a child" I repeated, bewildered by the sheer potency of the implications. An adult can be truly horrible, commit crimes with no remorse and be judged fully by their capacity to know and understand what they have done, because the development stages of an adult are insanely different than those of a child.

But a child? A child can be every inch as horrible, surely, but with the key difference that a child is growing, has room to grow and is more likely to want to change. You cannot judge a child the same way you would an adult, their mindsets are entirely different. And with a character such as the collector, that gains a striking contrast. A character that is aiding in something as horrible as killing the population of an entire country, but that equally is motivated by the need to play, to be free, and when that character is a child... it just adds to it.

Children need stimulation. They need to discover the world and play, this helps them develop, helps them understand the world around them and learn concepts such as empathy, the view of the other, the passing of time, the changing of the environment... but a child stuck in an unmoving prison that arguably even stunts their aging is not getting any of that. Perpetual prison already messes up real life adults who can age and die in prison. Imagine what it does to a child that is unable to even age and die to escape.

It adds this layer of tragedy to the character, because while you could argue an adult at the very least would be someone you wish some kind of psychological torture on, its much harder to justify that for a child, one with room to grow and change and who has such simple desires as "play" and "freedom". Because while you can empathize as we were all once children who just wanted to play and may have made mistakes or even hurt others in young ages, you also understand such power cannot be left unattended. It's a situation that requires a delicate balancing act to even approach where to go with the character from now.

Were he an adult, the choices would be much easier: just get rid of this arrogant silly grown man who acts like a child and yells he wants to play already, after all, we have seen grown men who act on childish whims and know how annoying they can be and how often they awaken rage in us. Doesn't matter how you do it, just get rid of him! Who needs some annoying grown man pretending to be a kid!

But embracing the fact he's a child... that is much different. How do you navigate a character that's committed such crimes but that also is very much able to grow and change and be persuaded only with the promise of friendship and playing? How do you begin to approach a child with such insane powers and with such a frightening history? Would you risk talking to them? Asking question about them? What if they tire of you or get annoyed? And would you not also stop and think about how miserable he could have been through all he has been through? Is that not sad either? Whatever the case... there's not an easy path to take with this character, and that adds to the insane level of uncertainty around them and what we could expect to happen to them and to the others around them in the following specials.

In a way, i get it. I get why some fans might want to see collector as a childish adult: they want another menacing villain other than belos that they can point at, they want a truly terrifying final boss that challenges the pre conceived notion belos would be the big bad at the end, and I can respect that. It's a simple but effective visual of a chaotic trickster god that challenges the worldview of the characters in the series, that makes them feel small, but if that character is a child looking for friendship, that defeats that visual and brings it down to a level of delicate balance that is very different from the terrifying final boss they want. They're not interested in the tragedy of it. And that's fine. But I still argue that them being a child is the far more interesting scenario, and it's also the most likely one, judging by the evidence we do have so far.

[menalez]

"true lesbian would NEVER find herself doing survival sex work." of all the ngs arguments this is the one i understand the least cause theres even poor het women wouldn't do it. its alr a traumatizing thing to do to yourself if ur osa,,, a lesbian willingly doing tht (no pimp no trafficking involved?) i know nth about these friends nd their actual circumstances so m not commenting on /them/. just the argument in of itself. nd even then its still pity i feel nt sure why other gs become so vile

thats the thing like theres all kinds of actions people are not going to be willing to do regardless of sexuality. i dont think i could stomach doing that either but i also understand that i have never been in such a desperate situation. im lucky bc when i was desperate i went on here and offered to send nudes in return for money to buy food n my mutuals didnt want anything they just wanted me to be able 2 get a meal. i cant imagine going any further than sending nudes tbh bc even that feels far... doesnt mean its a reflection of anyone's sexuality. these arguments just seem like ignorance to me bc surface knowledge of human psychology will show u that people can go thru the same exact thing yet react differently, its often bc of their different personalities or nurture or many things but it being used as a sign of sexual orientation.... so overly simplistic

[friendly-alien-fucker]

Hello. Could you please write about how yautja would react if his S\O was extremely calm... (like: Wow, this is an alien killer who will surely kill me...Whatever. Get out of my way. Can't you see that I have extremely heavy bags in my hands? * carries a bunch of packages*)

Winter really isn't what it used to be, you thought as you looked at your reflection in one of the big puddles in front of you. You had looked forward to the cold weather, to building snowmen and baking cookies. But it seemed your plans were shortlived as any snow that fell instantly melted and turned into mud, painting the world in a sad brown colour instead of the pretty white you'd hoped for.

You sighed as the rain got heavier, filling the silence of the night with loud splatter as the raindrops hit your umbrella. How long was the bus going to take? You'd waited at least 20 minutes already.

Thats when you heard a strange sound behind you. A loud clunk, like someone had hust dropped something heavy on a metal surface. Confused and a little anxious, you looked around to find out where the noise came from. This area was famous for the strange creatures that roamed the streets at night, and you weren't in the mood to get mugged right now.

Unfortunately, it was very dark so even if someone was lurking in the shadows, it was unlikely you would spot them in time. Not knowing what else to do, you weakly called out "Hey, if someone's there could you please show yourself? It's 3 am and I'm really not in the mood-"

You stopped once you heard something else, now right beside you. A certain... slithering, like static. You quickly turned your head, only to be met with someone's torso. You raised your brows as your eyes wandered upwards until you met with the person's face. How did they get here so quickly? Weren't you all alone until now? They looked down at you. You looked away.

They must be a cosplayer or something, you thought to yourself, I wonder what character they are.

You glanced at them sideways, taking in their strange features again. Their yellow eyes that were looking forward now, the mandibles decorating their mouth, their green skin. You watched as the rain hit their face and body. It probably wasn't very good for their costume to get wet. You silently stepped closer to them, ignoring their confused expression as they looked down at you.

Extending your arm, you did your best to fit them under your umbrella with you. And it worked, they stopped being hit by the rain. But now the rain was hitting your shoulder instead, soaking your clothes and your hair. You hoped they wouldn't notice your shivering.

Though first confused, they now seemed to get what you were doing and ducked in response, making it easier to hold the umbrella over them. You stood in silence for a few seconds, a nice silence, you thought. But that didn't stop the stranger from breaking it.

Slowly and carefully they wrapped an arm around you, gently pushing you into their side. "why-" you started as they held you, but as you stopped feeling the rain hit your shoulder, you simply smiled at them. "thank you."

They didn't respond, continuing to stare ahead as the heat of their body warmed you up.

Then, after another eight minutes of silence, the bus finally arrived in the distance, stopping in front of you with a loud creak. The door opened and you stepped forth to go inside, before stopping. You looked back at them, and they at you. They tilted their head. You pondered for a second, before pressing the umbrella back into their hands.

"Take it. I'll be fine." you smiled, and they nodded.

"you coming in?" You heard the bus driver call you, and without another word, you went inside and sat down. Not looking back when you passed your nameless new friend.

~

Looking after the long vehicle, they held the umbrella tightly in their hand. What a strange human you were. To help them, even after you saw what they looked like. They had heard of your kind before, of your skills in battle, but they had never experienced this side of you. Was this gentleness, this kindness, inherent in your species? Or were you the exception? They clicked their mandibles in thought.

Would they ever see you again?

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘚𝘬𝘺 ~

𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 ; hyunjin x gn!reader, so much fluff, stargazing, hyunjin being a space nerd, established relationship, kissing,,,, thats about it 

𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 ; 0.7 k words

𝘙𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 ; yes yes by cutie @aminatalks ~ thank you so much <33

𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦 ; this song holds a very special place in my heart and so does the lyric,,, not me wanting to get it tattooed aaah i love it <33 also i know you requested fem!reader but idk since it’s not smut i was like “lets just make it gn” 

9. “You’re the star I look for every night” ; The Neighbourhood - Compass

The night was cold, the air crisp as you inhaled the night deeply through your nose, the frigid air spreading in your lungs. Hyunjin's jacked was lazily spread across your chest, acting as a blanket for you as you rested on his upper arm, the both of you looking up into the starry sky.

"Are you sure you're not cold?" you asked quietly, the picnic blanket underneath you shifting as Hyunjin wiggled his arm a bit, probably falling asleep under your head. The blonde boy shook his head gently, his dark eyes twinkling, the stars reflecting in them. He looked so etheral like this. His head tied back into a low ponytail, the front pieces falling and framing his stoic features. His jaw clenched every now and then, biting down from the freezing weather.

"Who decides to go stargazing in these times?" you said, slightly moving the jacket to cover him, at least the right half of him.

"Cold weather is usually when the stars are the most visible a because that's when the sky is clear" there was a pause before he shortly added - "I learnt that when I was on a school trip to an observatorium"

You chuckled at his cute antics, how he sounded so passionate whenever he talked about the universe, the planet or the stars.

"You are such a nerd, Hyunjin" you said with a sweet smile on your lips, your cheeks suprisingly hot to the touch as your heart thumped. Despite having dated him for a while he still made your head spin with his adorable facts that he just spewed out in the kitchen whenever you decided to make a cup of coffee or whenever you were taking a break from whatever you were writing on your computer. It made your heart beat harder.

"I'm not a nerd! You're a nerd, staring and typing all day. That's a nerd!" he insisted, turning his head in order to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, rubbing his nose against the sensitive skin and tickling you.

"Says the boy with a telescope in his room" you tsked, earning a loud "ya!" from him, you covering your ear with your shoulder from the sudden noise.

"It's only a small one, wait until I install the new big one that I'm saving up for, I will date my telescope instead of you~" he said in a mocking tone only causing you to laugh louder, a bird fluttering and flying away from the tree above you. 

“What are you even looking for?” you asked to which Hyunjin shrugged.

“It’s not about looking for something y/n, it’s about enjoying what’s infront of oneself” he said, leaving a small peck on your cheek before turning onto his back again, his eyes diverting from star to star. You smiled mellowly, the half moon glowing in it’s luminescent fashion, adding more light into the dark cold night that brought comfort. There was only you and Hyunjin, alone in the late hours of the day, only the occasional cricket making it’s appearence by giving out it’s gentle croak. You lifted your head from Hyunjin’s arm, flipping onto your stomach and pressing a soft kiss on his plush light red lips, him smiling against the kiss as you playfully bit his bottom lip, his tongue sliding into your mouth, gliding against the surface of yours. You felt your cheeks get even hotter than previously, his hand stroking your soft locks, pushing a piece of stray hair behind your ear. As you pulled away his hot breath lingered near your lips, a single string of saliva seperating the two of you. 

“You” he said. You tilted your head in confusion, furrowing your eyebrows. “You asked me what I was looking for,,, and you’re the star I look for every night” You burst into laughter to which Hyunjin did the same after a moment of complete silence.

“That’s so fucking corny oh god” you said, clutching onto your stomach and Hyunjin blushed at his rather cliche statement. You couldn’t help but to find it endearing, he was truly infatuated with you. “But at least I love it” you said, kissing the tip of his nose causing the blond boy to scrunch his face, wiggling his toes like a child. 

“And I love you too, y/n”

[brokenbeskar]

Denial

Chapter One of Memories Reforged ( Din Djarin x F!Reader )

Word Count: 8.2k

Summary: After crash landing on the planet of your next job, you learn another mysterious mandalorian bounty hunter is working the same contract as you and you decide to investigate.

Warnings: descriptions of blood and death, canon level violence, grief, there's a nightmare sequence but nothing crazy!

A/N: I’m super nervous to start posting this, but I hope you all enjoy it! Let me know if you find any mistakes or have any criticisms/advice! Theres a lot of mystery surrounding you for the first couple chapters, but I promise they will be explained soon enough! 

Everything around you is happening so rapidly, in flashes. Red, surrounding you, clouding everything around you... 

It’s blood. Blood--blood on your hands, you realize. Blood on the ground around you, on you--on everything. Your vision is so blurry you can barely make out the shapes around you. You’re sobbing, your chest aches, burning, smoke and ash in your lungs, you try to cry out but barely any sound comes through. A rushing in your ears so loud you can barely hear. 

You're desperately applying pressure beneath you, but the bleeding won’t stop. You beg and plead to the maker, the universe, whatever could possibly hear you, whatever could possibly help you, you're so desperate. you’re trembling, shaking so hard you can’t keep steady despite trying so hard to keep the pressure on the gushing wound beneath you... 

Another flash, you can’t see anything anymore, everything is too blurry, but you feel something brush up to your cheek, you lean into it. It’s comforting, but the burning in your chest only gets worse, your sobbing doesn't stop. The brush on your cheek is so tender, so precious, but so painful. So bittersweet... 

More red, another flash, and now a sound, cutting through the white noise that fills your ears--a steady beeping. Through your clouded vision you can barely make out the light flashing on the bomb that's been set to detonate in his hand. You press your forehead to something cold, and you squeeze your eyes shut, blackness engulfing your vision, only the faint blinking of the light shining through your eyelids...

 Suddenly, everything is crystal clear. The feeling of his hand tangled in your hair, pulling you tighter against the cool metal of his helmet, the warmth of the blood gushing out of the wound you are still so desperately applying pressure to, and when you open your burning, sobbing eyes, the crystal clear reflection of the bomb blinking in the corner of his visor. The light growing brighter, and the beeping growing faster, louder, and louder---so LOUD-- You shoot up with a sharp gasp in your seat, absolute panic still consuming you, the beeping from the bomb still going off rapidly--no...you realize suddenly. The beeping from the cockpit of your ship, you're dropping out of hyperspace. 

You’re shivering, covered in a cold sweat, things slowly starting to come back to you. It was another nightmare. You must have fallen asleep while you were still in hyperspace. You glance over to the helmet in the copilot seat next to you, the familiar visor staring at you, hollow. The stars reflecting off the tint of it, and the beat up, once glossy copper accents framing it. You try to get your breathing under control while you shakily take hold of the ship's controls, flicking off the alarm and getting ready to break through the atmosphere of the planet thats suddenly in front of you.

 This is going to be rough. This ship, if you can even call it that, is a piece of shit. It’s barely holding together, you were shocked it was even able to make the jump into hyperspace in the first place. It's trembling dramatically under you, as you try to hold her steady while you descend. 

“Talk about a bumpy ride,” you barely mutter to yourself through gritted teeth as you struggle against the violent rattling of the hunk of metal surrounding you, suddenly very thankful you were already buckled in. Suddenly the whole ship lurches violently despite your firm hold on the controls as you break into the atmosphere, and alarms start blaring deafeningly throughout the cockpit, the ship is barely holding together at this point. You clench your jaw tight, this is going to be a rough landing. Another violent jerk of the ship and you feel something big break off. You can’t even begin to think about what it is though, because you are quickly losing control entirely. You are descending much too fast, and there's nothing you can do about it. Alarms blaring in your ears as you try to make this the softest crash landing possible. The sandy surface of this planet is coming quick, until it's all you can see. You violently collide with the ground, you can't see anything, sand shoots up all around the ship blinding you. You had tried to hit a good angle coming down, but your ship slides through the sand, bounces back up, and rolls twice. You get roughly knocked around in your seat and you wack your head pretty hard on the dashboard in the collision, you black out. 

You groan, slowly coming to, clutching the sore spot on the side of your head while you try to collect yourself. Maker, it HURTS, you can feel the pulsing behind your eyes and you’re seeing stars, your vision blurry from the impact. You shakily undo your seatbelt, and try to lift from your seat, hand still clutching the side of your head. Everything on you hurts, you know you’re going to be covered head to toe in bruises despite being buckled in the whole time. You tap the nav console in the center of the dashboard, but nothing, unresponsive. The whole ship has gone completely dead. No more flashing lights and blaring alarms. Just the slight groaning of the metal struggling to stay together after the crash. 

“Well fuck…” you sigh out, but then the dread and anger hit you all at once. A pit pooling in your stomach and rising up tight in your chest like an inferno, You had scrounged together every last credit you had for this piece of shit, and now it's absolutely trashed. It would cost you more than its worth in repairs, if it can even be repaired. You would bet all your remaining credits it was far beyond saving. You violently slam your fist down into the control panel, cursing loudly into the cockpit. You needed this ship, badly. How were you supposed to collect bounties without it? How could you afford a new one? You bang your fist into the control panel again, then slump down defeatedly back into the pilot's seat, resting your elbows on the edge of the control panel and leaning forward to burying your head in your hands. 

You take a deep breath in and run one of your hands through the hair framing your face as you lean back in the seat and let the same breath out. You turn your head slightly to look over to the copilot's seat, but you shoot back up to your feet when you find the seat is empty. Your heart is racing again. Where is it? Where did it go? You frantically scan the floor of the cockpit, desperately looking for even the smallest glimpse of it. When you finally catch sight of the familiar hunk of metal in the far corner, you rush over and drop to your knees next to it. You carefully pick up the heavy beskar helmet and rotate it so the familiar T of the visor is staring empty at you. You breath out heavily as you press your forehead to it, clutching it so tightly in your hands. You pull away to inspect for any damage--well any new damage at least. The helmet was in bad shape. It had a couple dents and gashes in it, the paint that once coated it so beautifully now chipped and worn, the small crack in the corner of the visor catching the light. You sigh at it, realizing you probably wouldn't even be able to tell what's new and what's not at this point. 

“Well,” you breath out to the helmet as if it could hear you, “no point in wallowing, right?” You stand from where you were kneeling on the floor, tucking the helmet under your arm. “We’ve got a bounty to catch.” And with that you step into the hull of the ship, trying your best to ignore the mess caused from the crash, all of your belongings thrown about and scattered unceremoniously throughout it. You find your go bag and sling it over your shoulder. Then head to the exit ramp to leave, but pausing before you step out into the sandy environment to slowly slide the helmet from under your arm, over your head, with a click.

--------------------------------- 

You hate desert planets. You're burning up under your bulky beskar. It barely fits you, so you have to bulk up under it to make sure it stays on properly. It doesn't look as awkward as it feels, and no one can tell how much you're sweating under the helmet, but maker, you’re miserable. With every step you can feel the soreness lingering from the crash earlier. It was quite a walk to the nearest settlement. You’re in some kind of marketplace. It’s bustling and busy, vendors lining the sand covered streets selling all kinds of wares, a lot of it junk. 

You’re in a terrible mood. Between crash landing your one and only ship, the heat of this planet baking you alive under your armor, and the sand that you can feel working its way uncomfortably into your boots, you’re seething with anger. You swear it would only take one local giving you the wrong look for you to snap and break their neck with your bare hands alone. You bet it shows in the way your walking, you're used to people staring at this point, it comes with wearing beskar, but the way people are quickly stumbling to get out of your way as you angrily stride through the streets, crowds parting for you so you can pass, you know you probably seem more intimidating than usual.

Stepping into the nearby cantina, is instant relief. It’s much cooler in here, but you try not to relax too much and lose that power in your stance as you enter. Something feels off, when you notice the reactions in the bar. The stares and hushed whispering were normal to you, but something about it was different this time. Maybe the heat was getting to your head. You stride over to the bar and silently take a seat. The patron in the seat next to yours, quickly gets up to move away from you, and you don’t even bother to look in his direction. 

The bartender in front of you, polishing glasses speaks before you get the chance, “Let me guess, you want information on the bomber.” You tilt your visor up to him a bit surprised. How did he know? “You’re friend already came by, I told him everything I knew, I’ve got nothing else for you.” Now you’re really confused. You cock your helmet slightly to the side quizzically without saying a word. Friend? You don’t have any friends. And definitely not any you would be working on a bounty with. Not anymore at least. The bartender seems to catch your confusion so he continues, “The other mandalorian.” Other mandalorian? There was a mandalorian here hunting your bounty? when you don't move he elaborates, “The big one, uh you know--real shiny guy, all chrome and whatnot…” the bartender trails off not knowing how else to describe him. Well, that's surely interesting. Suddenly you decide maybe you need to investigate this...shiny mandalorian. You nod at the bartender as a quiet thank you as you rise silently from your seat at the bar. You toss a couple credits onto the counter for the information, even if it's not what you were initially looking for. The bartender at the sight of the credits points you in the direction of where he had seen this mysterious mandalorian head off to, likely understanding now, that the two of you were most likely indeed, not friends. 

It doesn’t take long to spot him. He must have just left the cantina not too long before you arrived, he was close by, and the reflective beskar stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the crowd that was parting for him in the same way it had for you. You kept your distance, keeping out of sight but trailing behind just enough that you wouldn't lose him. You knew damn well, that he probably knew you were following him, any truly skilled bounty hunter would realize that fact, let alone a mandalorian. Your theory was proved correct when he suddenly took a turn and dipped into an alleyway. You weren’t trying to sneak up on him, but you still kept your distance, turning the same corner and following him until you lost the crowd completely. The both of you walking to a part of town with no one, the bustling of the marketplace becoming faded white nose in the background. He makes a few more turns and you follow a few feet behind, until you go to turn the next corner and he's gone, no longer in front of you. 

But you’re no fool, in a flash you whip around behind you, your blaster unholstered and pointed straight in front of you. He’s standing there, his own blaster mirroring yours. You both stand there, perfectly still, unmoving, blasters pointed to each other, fingers on their respective triggers. He speaks first, “Why are you following me?” but he doesn't move an inch “Why are you hunting my bounty?” you quip back. Making sure to stress the fact that this is your bounty, not his. You need those credits, you can’t afford to let them slip away from you when you have no way off this sandy shithole. 

He tilts his visor at you slightly but doesn't reply. So you continue, “The bomber is mine, I suggest you find someone else to hunt down. I’ve got this one handled.” and by that, you mean if he does anything to compromise your ability to collect this quarry, you won't hesitate to kill him too, and you know he knows it...doesn’t he? The mysterious mandalorian doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move a muscle and neither do you. The silence between the two of you carries a tension just as deadly as the blasters you have pointed at each other. 

With him standing in front of you like this, you’re able to get a better look at him. You look with only your eyes, careful not to move your head at all, as to not give him any indication you’re looking anywhere other than his visor, which is staring deadpan into yours. The bartender wasn’t exaggerating when he said this strange mandalorian was shiny and chrome. His beskar armor is unpainted, and beautiful, not a single flaw. You’ve never seen anything like it before. Whoever forged that for him was truly skilled in their craft.

“Your beskar,” You suddenly nod in his direction after the silence drags out far too long, “it’s new.” He still doesn't say anything. He’s giving you nothing. You’ve been doing this job awhile, there's usually something you can pull from, a slight change in breathing, tensing on the shoulders, anything to know what your enemy’s intentions are, but him....he's giving you nothing. “I’m looking for a forge master.” You hope by elaborating, you make your own intentions clearer. 

“An Armorer?” he questions, and you nod once slowly. “Don’t have one in your clan?” He tilts his visor at you in inquiry, and you slowly shake your head once.

“I have no clan,” and you can sense his confusion so you continue, “I’m no mandalorian.” you confess, and instantly his blaster arm straightens and you hear the click of his safety switch off. You expected nothing less.

“Beskar belongs to the mandalorians. Hand it over.” His voice is dark and firm in his demands, but you can't help but scoff. 

“I may not be a mandalorian, but this armor is mine.” your voice darkens threateningly, “It belonged to someone very important to me, passed down in their family for multiple generations. They’re gone, so now it's mine and I will die defending this armor in their honor.” “Did you inherit it from your father?” his voice through the modulator is firm, unwavering, and when you shake your head, he tries again, “Your mother?” You shake your head again. “Then it’s not yours, take it off...or I will” he threatens taking a step forward.

You take that step forward as an attack in itself, there's no way in hell anyone will take this armor from you, you quickly lunge towards him in a flash and he goes for you. You go to grab for his blaster, but at the same time he grabs yours and next thing you know, both your blasters are skittering across the sand in opposite directions. You both snap your gaze back and your visors meet each other, pausing for just a second before you're immediately swinging in his direction, aiming directly for his unarmored throat. He catches your fist, and swings with his free hand, you duck expertly out of the way and knee him right in the gut below the beskar chest plate. He doubles over, but manages to kick out one of your ankles causing you to stumble, and he goes for another swing. You jump back the best you can, and punch him perfectly in his unarmored side. He groans loudly at the impact, and stumbles back, but then before you know it, he gets you right back, and then again, his beskar fist colliding with the side of your helmet. It knocks you to the ground, your vision blurs again reminding you of your earlier injury from the crash. You shake your head and try to regain your footing, but he lunges down to grab you. You both struggle on the sandy ground before you get a hold of one of his arms and kick him up with both feet, hauling him over you, so he lands roughly on his back behind you. 

He scrambles to get up, but you’re too quick, you’re on top of him pressing the mouth of his own blaster under his jaw. He doesn’t move and the only thing that can be heard is the rough modulated breathing of the two of you through your helmets. He moves the slightest amount, you're not sure if it's to adjust or to try to get up but you won’t risk it. You press his blaster farther to the underside of his jaw and click the safety off, a threat you think he understands well. You will absolutely not hesitate to kill him if he makes a wrong move. You’ve had a bad day, blowing a hole through his head would be the first good thing to happen to you, but at the same time, he clearly knows where to find what you're looking for and you want to get that information from him before you kill him. 

“The armor is mine,” you say gruffly through your heavy breathing. You nudge the blaster into him again, just to make sure you’re being clear, “and if you, or anyone so much as lays a finger on it, I will kill you.” He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move an inch. Neither do you. 

Instantly heat blasts against the side of you, and white noise erupts in your ears, a powerful force sends the both you flying sideways and slamming into the wall of the other building next to you, smoke and sand fly up and surround the air around you. You’re groaning as you slowly try to pick yourself up off the sandy floor, the heat from the fire building next to you quickly heating up your armor. It takes you a second to realize what's going on. The bomber. You had almost forgotten about your bounty, you were so transfixed on the strange mandalorian next to you, grunts coming from his modulator as he struggles to his feet. There's another explosion next to you and you try to keep steady scanning with your visor through the smoke to see if you can catch a glimpse of your quarry--and there! It's quick, but unmistakable as you see his heat signature duck away behind the roof of a neighboring building.

“Stay out of my way.” you spit darkly at the rival mandalorian, before turning and breaking into a sprint in the direction of your bounty. 

It doesn’t take you long to catch up to him. You're running through the alley beneath the cloaked bomber while he jumps from roof to roof above you, desperately trying to shake you off his tail. He throws explosives in your direction, but you evade them expertly, bursting through the clouds of smoke and sand just when he thinks he's gotten you. He thinks he's being smart when he decides to throw another explosive ahead of you this time, blocking the rest of the alley with rubble from the surrounding buildings as their walls crumble. He lets out a loud and victorious laugh as he continues to run, celebrating far too early, not realizing he's made a critical error. 

Instead of the rubble halting you in your pursuit, you use it to your advantage, nimbly leaping off a large piece and hauling yourself into the roof. Now that you're level with him, and off the maker forsaken sand, you start gaining on him, quick. He looks back in horror at you and tries to speed up, but you both know it's futile. You would have shot him already, but you left your blaster in the sand, forgetting to pick it up after the explosion, so you have to use other means. You grip the vibroblade strapped to your thigh and unsheath it. You’re just about to lunge for him, grab him and pull him to the ground, but something hits him and he drops instantly onto the roof below him. 

You come to a screeching halt, almost tripping over his body. What the hell happened to him? You look down at him, convulsing on the floor, he's been stunned, quite literally electrified. You immediately know who's responsible and angrily look up to see that damned shiny mandalorian a few roofs away, lower his rifle and start to stride across to you. The sun reflecting off the top of his helmet in such an irritating way. 

“I told you to stay out of my way!” you shout in his direction, “This is MY bounty! I’ve got it handled!” you grab a pair of cuffs off your belt and drop to your knees to cuff the bastard below you roughly despite his lack of resistance. 

“You were too slow.” he says matter-of-factly as he approaches you. Oh you could kill him, you're tempted. The fact that he not only had the audacity to take down your bounty, but now dares to mock you? It would be an absolute pleasure to sink your blade into his neck. 

Your thoughts are cut short when a gloved hand holds your blaster down to you. You look at it in confusion, then tilt your helmet to look up at the reflective beskar staring down at you. He nods towards you and nudges the blaster towards you again. You snatch it from his grip and put it in your holster without a word, and haul yourself up onto your feet with the bounty. Keeping a firm grip on his cuffed wrists behind his back while he struggles to hold himself up, “Bounty is mine.” you remind him, your visor burning a hole through his with how intensely you stare. 

“I shot him down,” he reminds you. 

“I had it handled,” you shoot back at him. Suddenly you’re curious, and you have an idea. You tilt your helmet up at him, if this works, you might have a solution to your crash landing earlier. “How much are they offering you? For the bounty.” He doesn't answer, you assume it's because he doesn’t trust you, so you offer your commission price readily, “Mines ten thousand.” with the way his visor snaps straight ahead in response, you know you have him beat. Probably by a lot. “I’ll tell you what,” you continue, “let's split the reward.” He cocks his helmet to the side in surprise...or possibly confusion? Maybe both. You can't really tell. So you repeat yourself, “let's split the reward. Five thousand between the two of us.” 

“What's the catch?" Well, it’s not a no, so far so good.

“I need a ride,” you admit with a modulated sigh running through your helmet, “I had a bit of a rough landing. My ship’s scrapped." 

"Five thousand credits isn't enough for a ship."

"That's not your problem. We'll part ways after we split the credits. We got a deal or not?" 

"Only if you hand over that beskar when we split the credits." 

you pretend to mull it over in your head, but you know that nothing in the universe could possibly convince you to give up your armor. you will die with it, and even in death you will take it to your grave.

"I'll consider it." you say finally. you know it's not what he wants to hear, but you hope it will be enough. 

"Then it's a deal." He nods and doesn't say anything more, just starts walking in what you assume is the direction of his ship, so you kick the heels of the bounty you're still holding up by the cuffs. 

"Move it." you snap at him and start pushing him forward as you follow the silver armor ahead of you. the bounty is still barely hanging onto consciousness, dragging his feet, you're doing most of the work for him. 

Then suddenly the bounty stops all together like dead weight, digging his heels in, refusing to budge. 

"I said move it!" you nudge him again roughly, more aggressive this time, but the bomber doesn't comply. His shoulders start shaking, rumbling beneath you, it takes you a second to realize he's laughing. "what's so funny?" you jostle him lightly to encourage a response. and at that, he throws his head back and starts laughing maniacally. That shock bolt from earlier must have done something to him, fried his brain or something. He just keeps laughing, like he can't control it. the mandalorian in front of you has stopped walking, and turned back around to you and the bounty to investigate the commotion. 

"You're too late" the bounty spits out darkly between laughs, and he roars out louder, finding whatever it is he's going on about absolutely hysterical. 

"What are you talking about? you roughly yank him around to face you and his laughing subsides leaving a sickening smile ripping across his face. He cranes his neck to look back at the bustling marketplace and begins roaring with laughter once again. but he's cut off at the sound of multiple pieces of metal hitting the tile of the roof in front of him. 

"Talking about these?" the mandalorian asks, tossing another destroyed detonator bomb to the bounty’s feet. and the bomber looks at the pile horrified. it doesn't take long for you to put two and two together. This shiny mandalorian must have caught onto the bomber's plan early on and found all the hidden explosives long before you ran into him.  

The bomber continues to stare down at the destroyed explosives in distress, realizing his plan failed, before that same sickening smile breaks out across his face and he chuckles out, “You missed one.” 

He bursts back into a horrible laughter, and you suddenly have a pit in your stomach at the sound of it, you yank the bounty roughly by the neck, “Where is it?” your voice is rough and threatening, but he just continues to laugh maniacally. You can’t take it, todays been too much and his horrible laughter pushes you over the edge. Still grasping at his throat, you slam your armored fist hard straight into the center of his face, cutting his laughter off all together. He hangs his head limply, blood dripping down from his mouth, where his disgusting smile once was. “Where is it?” you grit out, pulling him in close to your visor with your grip tightening around his throat. 

The bounty in your grip lifts his head just enough so his gaze meets your visor, and he smiles again brokenly, blood continuing to drop down from the middle of it. “Who knows?” he shrugs. Then spits blood at your visor, chuckling again weakly at you. Your veins turn to ice at the blatant disrespect and you can’t help yourself. You slam your fist into him again, harder this time, sending him flying to the ground at your feet, unmoving, out cold from your attack. Your stare lingers on the bloodied bounty beneath you too long, violence swirling through you. How dare he--how fucking dare he disrespect the armor like that--how dare he disrespect him like that. 

Your fists clench at your sides, as you try to calm yourself. Your helmet snaps to the chrome mandalorian besides you, his visor shamelessly staring directly at you. You wonder if he can sense the anger whirling inside of you. “Where did you find the others?” You manage to grit out through your tight jaw. “The explosives.” Everything about you is rigid and tense from the altercation.

“At vendor tables he was harassing a few days ago, after the first bombing at a neighboring settlement. I checked all of them.” The chrome helmet doesn't move its gaze off of you. He's standing statuesque, unmoving. You look back to the bomber still unconscious on the floor. You’re trying to rack your brain, think where the last explosive could possibly be. You haven't even had the chance to investigate anything yet, you didn’t even get a chance to gather information, you immediately ended up tangled up with the strange mandalorian next to you when you made it into town. That’s when it hits you--the cantina. “Did you check the cantina?” you snap your visor to meet his again, and he shakes his head. “Keep an eye on him,” you nudge the bounty on the floor with your foot, then take off in the direction of the bar without another word. You have to be quick, you don’t know how much time is left until the bomb detonates and kills everyone in that cantina. 

The bartender greets you when you rush in, “Ah! Your back! Did you find your friend?” but you ignore him, you don't have time for pleasantries. You start scanning the entirety of the bar rapidly, looking for any sign of anything unusual. You don’t even know where to begin, patrons staring at you and murmuring to each other while you silently search around--but then you hear it. The faintest of noises barely cutting through the hum of the scene around you. You follow the sound of the achingly familiar beeping, it's at the bar, close to where you sat earlier today. The bartender mistakenly thinks you’re walking over to him directly, and panics at the way you’re striding over in his direction, with purpose. “H-hey, listen-- I don’t know what I did, but i'm sure we can work something out--there's no need for any un--unnecessary violence...,” he backs up nervously, his hands out in front of him trying to show he's unarmed and willingly surrendering. 

You continue to ignore him, and he swallows audibly as you make it to the edge of the bar, but you immediately drop down to reach below it, snatching the blinking explosive from where it's stuck under the bar and rising back up, holding it in your hand. He stares at you--stunned. Now realizing what your intentions were as you toss the explosive to the ground and crush it with your boot. The light fades from within the device and you pick it back up, staring at the cracked device in your hand. Your mind wanders for just a second as you remember your nightmare from earlier, the painful memory that still haunts your dreams. The environment of the cantina fading entirely until it's just you, and the broken metal in your hand. You swear you can almost still see the faintest of light blinking from inside it. 

“Thank you.” you snap back to reality at the bartender's words, suddenly realizing where you are. You nod at him once accepting his gratitude. “Drinks are on me--always! Forever! Anything you want, you can have, I owe you that much…” he fades off looking down to the destroyed explosive in your hand. You smile at him, knowing he can't see it, and nod again. 

You’re about to reply, but the bartender cuts you off, looking behind you, “Ah! I see you found your friend!” You turn to look towards the entrance of the cantina, where you find the shiny and chrome mandalorian standing, the unconscious bounty slung over his shoulder, while his visor is staring at you. You hold up the destroyed piece of metal in your hand for him to see, and at that, he's already turning to head out. You go to follow him, but stop when you hear the bartender start to speak again, “Maker,” he breathes out, “I’ve heard stories of mandalorians before. Never thought I would see one in person--let alone two!” he chuckles to himself.

You turn your helmet in his direction over your shoulder without turning fully towards him, “I’m no mandalorian...” your voice ringing through the modulator at an audible volume, despite how quietly you feel you say it. You don’t wait for a response, you immediately continue your way outside of the cantina to catch up to the stranger carrying your bounty ahead of you. 

----------------------

When you finally arrive at his ship, just on the outskirts of town, you’re a little surprised to see his ship isn’t much nicer than yours was. It’s old and worn down. It looks like it's been abused to no end. “Are you sure you’re able to give me a ride? She doesn’t look like she would last the journey through the atmosphere…” “Where’s your wreck? We’ll stop by so you can grab what you need.” You know he ignored your question on purpose, and he hits a button on his vambrace, which triggers the slow lowering of the ship's ramp, kicking up sand around it. 

“I’ll punch the coordinates into your nav comp. Just get that asshole in carbonite.” You’re already climbing up the ramp to his ship, not waiting for an invitation, and walking into the dark of the ship's hull, its armored owner following close behind you, your bounty still slung over his shoulder unconscious. You take a quick look around as the ramp closes behind the two of you, dim lights illuminating the space. It’s not big by any means. You make note of all the crates and other miscellaneous goods neatly tucked around the hull’s nooks and crannies, it’s surprisingly cozy. 

While the mandalorian moves past you towards the carbonite chamber, you take that as your sign, and you make your way up the ladder of what you assume to be the cockpit of the ship. Opening the door once you make it to the top and stepping inside, you let out a sigh of relief at the sight of the control panel. It’s familiar enough, thank the maker. With how old the ship is you were expecting the controls to be unrecognizable and ancient, but you could pilot this. Easy. You step up to the navigation panel and punch in the coordinates of your wreck. 

You go to sit in the pilot's seat and initiate for takeoff, but stop suddenly. This isn’t your ship, you should wait for him. You’re going to be stuck with this stranger of a mandalorian in hyperspace for an unknown amount of time, you don’t want to overstep and cause another scuffle. He's, unfortunately, your only way off this planet, and he's got your bounty. You should be considerate seeing as you’re a guest, and he's doing you a favor. A five thousand credit taxi ride...maker what a shitty deal you negotiated yourself into.

 You settle into the copilots seat, and groan slightly as you sink into it. The soreness from the crash earlier is starting to settle in now that all your adrenaline from the day has worn off. Your glaring headache is becoming more and more unbearable. You reach up and, with a click and a hiss of the release, slide your helmet off your head and rest it in your lap. You breathe in deeply, maker...nothing beats the initial hit of fresh air when your helmet comes off. You lean back further in your seat trying to relax against the plush, worn leather seat. Everything aches, you're exhausted. You close your eyes and continue to breathe deeply as you enjoy the feeling of air hitting your face without your helmet. You don’t even hear the door to the cockpit slide open while you take a moment to relax. 

He says something, as he approaches behind you, but you didn’t quite catch what it was, so you spin in your chair to face him, “Sorry,” you shake your head slightly, “I was zoning out, what was that?” but he doesn't say anything or move. The armored wall of a man looks frozen, tense, his body language is all rigid and weird compared to how he usually stands. You just stare back at him confused. Is there something outside? You look behind you and out the windows of the cockpit, feeling your hair brush against you at the movement. Nothing there. You turn back to him, “Uhh? Everything okay, shiny?” He continues to stand there staring at you, stiff as a board, before he suddenly looks away from you and makes his way to the pilots seat, sitting down without a word and initiating for take off. 

What the kriff was that about? You continue to stare at him confused, hoping for an explanation, but he continues flicking the controls and grabbing hold of the thrusters to take off without a word. You know he's focused on flying, but at the same time, it's really starting to feel like he's purposely avoiding looking anywhere in your direction. You can’t help the way you tilt your head at him in suspicion, but you decide to let it go. You just met the guy, he doesn't owe you anything other than the ride you agreed on. But maker, is it going to bother you the whole time. 

You ride the rest of the way to your ship in silence, luckily it's not too far and you make it there relatively quickly. The second his ship touches the sand next to yours, you jump out of your seat tucking your helmet under your arm. “I’ll be quick. I don’t have much.” you wait a second for a response, but he’s still avoiding looking at you, and doesn't say anything. You tilt your head at him again with growing suspicion, but head out regardless without another word. 

Stepping back onto your trashed ship feels surreal. Looking at all your belongings scattered around and trying to decide what to take is upsetting. This isn’t the first time you’ve done this, having to leave behind the majority of your belongings and start over, but it never gets easier. You pack mostly practical things, the essentials: clothes, medical supplies, rations, whatever weapons you have. You figure you should probably bring your blanket, you aren’t quite sure how long your journey will be and hyperspace is cold. 

When you head over to your cot however, your gut wrenches seeing what you still had of his things scattered throughout the space. The old box you kept some sentimental items in had spilled, scattering the contents across your bed. Some of his old clothes, a crumpled note he left you once, you chuckle lightly to yourself at the memory of it. A necklace, he got it for you as a gift on Coruscant. You pick up his old sleep shirt that's bundled up in the corner and bring it up to your face, taking a deep inhale. It still smells like him. Despite sleeping with it every night, his scent still clings to the material. It's faint, not as strong as it once was, but it's there. Your heart aches, not a day goes by that you don’t miss him. You gingerly and lovingly fold it up neatly and pack it away with the rest of the belongings you plan to take with you. 

You haul the large bags of your belongings over your shoulder, off your own ship and carry them up the ramp of the stranger mandalorian’s ship. You hit the control panel on the wall once you're inside, closing the ramp behind you. You set your things down in an unoccupied corner and make your way back up to the cockpit, helmet still under your arm. When you enter the cockpit however, you pause. 

There’s a strange cooing coming from the pilot's seat where the mandalorian is sitting. Was...was that sound coming from him? There’s no way. You slowly make your way over so you can peer over his shoulder, you gasp at the sight of the green creature bundled up in his lap. It’s big dark eyes staring into yours. “What is that thing?” you mutter out, barely able to squeeze the words out as you stare at it curiously. 

“A child.” You furrow your brows together at his answer. Well no shit. That was clearly a baby, but not like any baby you’ve ever seen. You don't recognize its species. Let alone the mystery as to why the mandalorian in front of you has it in his possession. “Is it...yours?” you're not quite sure how to vocalize all of the questions running through your head. Is the mandalorian the same mysterious species under that beskar? How has he managed hunting bounties with a youngling on board? 

“For now.” You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn't. You slowly lower yourself into the copilot’s seat, not once removing your gaze from the green baby in his arms.

“And that means?” You tilt your head and the baby mirrors you, cooing at you.

“He is mine until I can reunite him with his own kind. I’m looking for a jedi to take him on.” the baby reaches out to you babbling happily. You go to hold him, reaching out to take him from the mandalorian’s arms, but stop in an instant when his visor suddenly snaps up to look at you. He's doing that thing again, just staring at you intensely. You decide to ignore it, more transfixed by the baby. “May I?” you tilt your hands still outstretched in front of you, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. You’re suddenly very aware of the fact that he still doesn't trust you. He just met you, another bounty hunter, and now you're asking to hold his baby. Much to your surprise however, he allows it and cautiously hands the baby to you, his visor never moving from your face.

The baby coos happily and reaches up to you as you pull him to your armored chest. He’s adorable, the way his little teeth poke through his smile, it swells through your chest. Oh he is absolutely precious. You wiggle your finger at him and he latches his tiny green ones around it. You haven't even noticed the mandalorian still staring at you. “Does he have a name?” you press your finger lightly to the baby's nose and his little green smile grows larger as he giggles in response. You can feel yourself smiling too, you can't help it, it's contagious. 

“Grogu.” You can still feel his visor on your when he replies. “Little Grogu…” you repeat softly, stoking the baby’s cheek. His big ears perking up at the sound of his name. He reaches up with his little fingers, so you hold him up a little higher against your chest, and he grabs onto a piece of your hair. You chuckle lightly at how captivated he is by you, in the same way you are with him. “He’s adorable.” you finally break your gaze from the baby in your arms, looking up to the shiny wall of beskar sitting next to you. Your smile fades into a frown when you see he's still staring at you. Okay, this is getting weird. “What's your deal?” you snap out at him, the baby still babbling away in your arms, his little hands reaching out to touch your face and hair. “Why are you staring at me like that? We got a problem?” 

The mandalorian quickly averts his gaze to the control panel, and begins initiating take off again, punching coordinates into the navigation. “No, sorry.” He mutters, barely audible through the helmets modulator.

“Then what is it? Is there something on my face?” and with that he pauses. Stops flicking switches for just a second too long, before continuing. “No.” He grabs a hold of the thrusters and pulls back, lifting the ship off the ground, and taking off. Maker, his responses are so--frustrating. Absolutely infuriating. How many more questions do you have to ask before you get to the bottom of this? You decide to give up again, it’s not worth your efforts. Let him be difficult if he wants, you’ll forget about him soon enough when you part ways. You turn your attention back to Grogu, immediately your irritation dissolves into nothing. Maker, you’ve only held this child in your arms maybe five minutes and you are already absolutely enamored with him. 

By the time you make the jump into hyperspace, the child has fallen asleep soundly in your arms. The mandalorian stands, and carefully takes him from you, descending the ladder into the hull with him to put him to bed, you assume. Now that you're alone in the cockpit, you look down to the helmet in your lap with a sigh. You grasp onto it lightly and tilt it up to stare into the visor. You reflect on your day; the crash, the scuffle with the strange mandalorian, the rush of trying to find the last bomb your bounty hid. Nothing ever goes smoothly for you anymore. Everyday feels like a struggle now that he's gone. It's been over a year since he died--almost two, you realize suddenly. The nightmares still plague you almost every night. You clench your eyes shut, and shake your head lightly trying not to think about any part of that horrible day. You should have died with him--you were supposed to. Whatever kind of sick joke the maker was playing, saving you and not him, you’ll never understand. You flutter your eyes back open, another sad sigh escaping your lips, as you stare back into the familiar visor. The smear of stars through hyperspace reflecting off of it. Hollow...empty. You gently hold the beskar up in your hands, and lean forward to press your forehead into it, taking a deep breath as you do so. 

You gasp lightly when you hear the cockpit doors open, and pull away from the helmet in your hands as the new and mysterious mandalorian you just met enters and resumes his seat in his respective chair. You’re suddenly embarrassed, hoping he didn’t see that. Such a personal and intimate moment you don't want to be witnessed by anyone, let alone someone you just met... and quite frankly don’t like. You relax slightly after a moment of silence, and lean back into your seat, resting your aching body against the back of it, closing your eyes against the streaks of light coming through the window. 

“Who did it belong to?” His modulated voice ringing out through the silence catches you off guard. 

“Hmm?” you open your eyes and turn your head slightly against the back of your seat to face him. He hasn't moved his gaze from the cockpit window. 

“Your armor. You said it belonged to someone important to you.” You suddenly get the feeling he definitely saw you earlier, when you had your forehead to the helmet in your lap, and you tense a bit. You’re just staring up at him cautiously, uncertain if you can trust him. 

You’re quiet for too long before you let out the softest of sighs and take another deep breath in, “Maybe another time...” is all you can manage. You’re not sure why, but the idea of telling him seems impossible. It's not a secret by any means, you haven't hesitated to tell anyone before. Maybe it’s because you're not sure you can trust him, or simply the fact that you don’t like him. Maybe it’s because he's a mandalorian... 

It's probably all of those reasons and more, all mixed up. It doesn't really matter, there's no reason for him to know. You will be parting ways with this mysterious mandalorian soon enough. Thankfully he doesn’t press the issue. In fact, he doesn’t say anything. The two of you ride your way through the silence of hyperspace without another word. Only the low rumbling of the engine beneath you filling the air.  ***  MASTER - Next

[sashayaweh]

Sam and Bucky dance to this song after having to take refuge in a safe house during a particularly high stakes mission. Theres a record player and Sam makes this necessary senior citizen taunts when he catches Bucky's frequent glances towards where it sits on the wooden shelf. Eventually, Sam walls over to fiddle with it because Bucky insists on faking disinterest, but Sam really wants to see him being not-so-boring for once. It was rare to see the other man take interests in his surroundings, barring the hyperawareness that he had for every environment he found himself in.

Sam could almost imagine Bucky's robo-brain whirring to calculate all the exits, people, and vantage points for any possible threat. He never seemed to fully relax. Even sitting in a chair, he sat stiffly as if he was ready to leap out at at any moment. Sam could understand. He wasn't brainwashed and weaponized for 70 years, sure. But he has seen war and death. Things he'd rather forget. And he's felt fear. The initial fear of the thousand foot free falls, the fear of the police and the banks, and the fear of losing himself in it all. So, Sam gets the mental burden and understands how hard it is to leave once you're in.

So, he fiddles with the record player and pretends not to know how to work it. There's no other records visible, but luckily one is still in place. Bucky would eventually get irritated and put everything into place because he knows what Sam is doing. And he knows that Sam knows. Because Sam knows everything. Bucky assumes this from the amount of time the other man spends talking. So, he puts the record on like old times and ignores the lump trying to force its way up and the memories that resurface. Steve-

"You're lucky, man. Etta James, and a classic at that, talk about a two for one. Looks like our luck it starting to turn around, CP30," Sam smile toothily and Bucky wants to do do something to that gap in his teeth. He doesn't quite know what that is yet. Maybe punch it because Sam knows he doesn't understand that obvious reference. But Sam's smile soften to a close, and the corners curl at the edges as his head begins to sway with the notes. Like silk curtains, his eyes slip close in simple pleasure as if he was settling himself into the music.

Bucky watches and feels awkward. At some point, in the past, he would know what to do in the situation. He would know what to do with the violins and the soulful tones curling words of longing into the air. And tired fulfillment. Maybe, he would know what to do with Sam but he doubts it. Or at least how to...be himself. Maybe then they wouldn't argue for once. Sam opens his eyes and looks over to see Bucky who stood, stone faced and deep in thought. The focus of his hooded stare was intense and Sam scoffed. The other man was being broody again.

"Are you even listening to the music or did you zone out again?" He shifts, slightly elbowing his companion and Bucky blinks, his thoughts shifting back to the present.

"You started talking, I couldn't help myself," Bucky quips and Sam let's out a soft scoft that becomes a short laugh. Bucky feels his own lips twitch.

"You gotta relax, man. You could beat a piñata with the stick you have up your ass," Sam shakes his head. That wide tooth smile is back but this time its less cocky and a little more warm. Bucky rolls his eyes and looks away. He does that a lot. At least he understood the reference this time.

Sam sighs and stops the music. He replaces the needle at the original point and let's it go. After a few seconds of crackling silence, the song fills the room again. Sam slaps the back of his hand gently against Bucky's chest and steps back with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Wanna dance, old man?"

Bucky gently freezes in shock but Sam catches it because he expected it, really. Its why he asked in the first place. He wants to shake up that tightly wound exposure that Bucky has at all times. And he was bored. Bucky was not a talkative person and their current predicament left them without many sources for entertainment. It'd been hours since they arrived, yet Sam was feeling the time pass under his skin like an itch. He was exhausted and body weary, but it was better to stay awake so he could orient to the new time zone. As a result, he couldn't help but pester the other man.

"No."

Sam just kept looking at him. His gaze was sleepy, but a twinkle of the earlier mischief still shined through. Similarly, his skin reflected the warmth of the sun as it clung to the early evening and seeped through the windows. It was lucky that they got to be above ground this time.

The staring lasted a long moment. Like it always did. Then Sam shrugged.

"I know dancing may not be a particular talent of yours-" but before he could finish, Bucky was in his space and the rest of Sam's sentenced disappeared with some of his bravado. Bucky was fast and his sudden closeness wasn't expected given the man's reservations a second ago. The sudden adrenaline that had sparked through Sam's started to fade too. He wasn't scared of his companion, but the man's behavior was largely still a mystery to Sam which meant that sometimes he was caught off-guard.

Bucky raised his right hand out, brow arched expectantly, and Sam took it with caution. The man's other hand rose to hover a few inches above Sam's hip, and it took a few moments before he realized Bucky was waiting for permission. His cheeks warmed and he hoped his complexion made it less obvious. He gently guided the metal hand until Bucky settled it on the jut of his hip, the surface cool and smooth under his soft hold.

"Aren't you a gentleman? Thats that old-school chivalry," Sam teased. Bucky pulled their bodies closer and smirked wryly.

"I aim to please." A new song had started and Bucky briefly tore his attention from the heat he felt spreading along his front. He hadn't danced in a long time. Not like this.

The current song featured a masculine husk crooning affections for the listener. It was accompanied by the distinct, steady tempo of a piano. Bucky felt his body catch the music, the way he'd been taught, quickly adjusting to an appropriate rhythm. Sam followed without much of a pause, finally starting to settle into the feelings of sharing this foreign intimacy with the familiar stranger who was holding him so damn gently. Even so, Bucky gripped him firmly like he'd catch Sam if he even thought about falling.

It was...nice. Nicer than Sam (or either of them, really) had expected. He hadn't been held in who knows how long. He was too busy and had mostly outgrown flings, but it wouldn't be fair to a potential partner if he randomly left on long missions that required little to no contact with those who didn't have the clearance. But that was kind of an excuse. Since everything that had happened, Sam hasn't much felt like having others in his space. He was a social person and owned that, sure. But it was hard to open up authentically as much as he teased Bucky about his tendency to isolate himself. He tries to take the advice he regularly gives to the veterans he takes under his wing. Its enough to sustain his close relationships, including whatever he has going on with One Armed Wonder, but he has little energy to offer anyone else. He has to remind himself that thats okay.

Without thinking, Sam realized he had sunk his head into the crook of Bucky's shoulder. He had started to drift, still following the gentle sways of his partner's body like a boat welcoming the gentle rocking of small waves after a storm. Bucky hadn't said anything, luckily, so Sam remains in his position and enjoys the comforting sounds of soul that has wrapped around them.

He had finally put Bucky onto some real good conditioner after growing sick of the greasy tresses the man sported as the Winter Soldier. No judgement. Its hard to have a solid hair care routine as an international assassin for magic super Nazis. But now, it smelled like honeyed coconuts instead of the scentless, dollar brands he used to buy at random. Even though Bucky's hair was shorter, Sam still caught wiffs of it near his neck. It was more noticeable this close given the man's lack of cologne.

Bucky had noticed earlier when Sam's head dipped into his shoulder. Shortly after, he though he had heard soft snores, but the man's body had otherwise remained upright and solid like usual. He had continued to follow the pattern they'd set, so Bucky had just shifted his hand to his partner's lower back to provide support and kept their pace steady. Otherwise, he lost himself in the heat of Sam's hand and the confusing stillness that had settled in his chest. He felt...anchored. But that was Sam. He was strong and steady, and reliable, but just as capable of sinking as anyone else without the support he inarguable deserved. The support Bucky tried to provide.

Steve was gone now. He'd left the both of them to figure out the aftermath of everything that had happened. Bucky wondered if it hurt Sam like it hurt for him. He didn't blame his Steve; couldn't begrudge him that act of selfishness after all they'd been through. Without Rogers' strong presence between them, they had been left to scramble in the gap and reshape it for two. Sam had his family and Bucky had his therapist, but nobody could understand the them as much as the other, as different as they are. So here they are, slow dancing in a safehouse Rhodes had been generous enough to lend them on short notice. He was amicable towards Bucky, but the generosity was really for Sam. Bucky's neck itched, likely with dried sweat, and he sighed internally. He needed a shower.

The man worked his hand against Sam's lower back instinctually and the other man responds with a questioning hum tinged with sleepiness. Bucky doesnt have an answer so they continue in silence. The song had changed. It was a woman again. She was singing the Blues, if Bucky guessed correctly. He's been picking up more of the music Sam liked. It could be relaxing but full-bodied one moment or rich and thrilling the next.

So far, he has only worked his way up the mid-80s. Sam jokesthat his sensitive hearing isnt prepared for the young and hip tastes that dominate the charts, but he'll still sneak recent artists into his recommendations so Bucky isnt completely "out of the loop." Like always, Bucky would just roll his eyes, but now and again he closes them and try to imagine what Sam felt when listened to the music. Wonders at the connections the man shares with the melodies, and the histories curved into the lyrics. Some things, he couldn't ever understand, even if he tries. So, other times, he just listens.

Now, he's curled over his partner's slightly shorter stature, nose brushing the other man's temple. Sam was not a small man. He was built like a brick house. His upper body was strong, but his lower half was thick with muscle and padded by soft curves of flesh. Probably because he only does legs. Meanwhile, Bucky's own body is near the opposite: wide, sturdy chest that tapers to a firm waist and steady, straight legs. They contrast nicely, Bucky thinks. Filling up the spaces the other doesn't. For two people of their size, they still manag to fit snugly with little space between their bodies. Any closer, and Bucky isn't sure how he'd handle the proximity. He feels lulled into the calmness of the evening that had unexpectedly crept up on them in the quiet of everything around them, save for the music.

The two danced a bit longer, but eventually Sam's body grew too weary after the lack of sleep. With hesitancy, they quietly parted after the final notes of the song slipped from the record player. Bucky turns stopped the music while Sam flops into the nearby couch. His growing exhaustion does not stop him from throwing a smirk Bucky's way which the man met with his regular deadpan stare.

"Not bad. Not a single hip replacement necessary. I'd say thats a success for two old men." Sam quipped. Bucky stayed silent.

"You're not old," he finally said. He hadn't moved from his spot by the record player.

"Hmmm. Well, compared to you, 42 isn't that old." Sam lets his eyes close again but Bucky clears his throat, causing one of them to open in question.

"There's a bedroom upstairs," he explains carefully. They've been on the move for some time now with little time for real rest. If Sam was going to finally sleep then it should be in a real bed, at least.

Sam lets out out a quick laugh, "if you think you can butter me up with a dance-"

Bucky cuts off his teasing with a quick glare. If there was ever a moment being the Winter Soldier has served him, it was now. Otherwise, the heat he could feel trying to redden his ears would send Sam into a fit of hysterics.

"I did a perimeter check when we arrived. There's three bedrooms upstairs. All of them have en-suites bathrooms so take your choice," Bucky grumbles out, avoiding eye contact with his counterpart. The earlier stillness he had felt was slowly disappearing now that they were interacting again. His nerves were more taxed than before. He'll analyze that later. Maybe with his therapist, but she was kind of petty, so maybe not.

Sam's teasing smirk has settled into something a little more kind as he rises frim his seat and crosses the room to where Bucky stands. He roughly claps the other man's arm a couple of times before settling the familiar weight of his hand at the ball of Bucky's shoulder.

"I'm just messing with you, man. Thanks though. That couch would do my back in after being thrown by that explosion. Luckily, you were there to provide some cushioning," he says with that toothy smile. Before Bucky can respond, Sam bids him goodnight and slowly makes his way upstairs. Bucky watches him go, dry-mouthed and slightly confused. Once Sam has completely disappeared from view, Bucky takes in his surroundings and feels the emptiness of the room without Wilson's presence.

He'll do one more perimeter check then turn in for the night. Even he can feel the pullings of sleep. Maybe tonight, he'll dream about dancing.

[binniesthighs]

[23:23]

this was inspired by an anon’s ask! you can read the ask here! 

“do you want to sit here for a while?” 

changbin guides you by the hand to the little marble bench by the edge of the pond with fuzzy green mosses tracing the edge.

crowning the pond, there’s wildflowers, their color’s muted in the darkness of night, but you can still see the dainty little petals of white, purple and yellow. 

the bench itself is barely big enough to seat two, but you don’t mind the closeness, or the warmth from his leg against yours. 

before you, the full moon is a brilliant white, it’s a guiding compass in the deep blue night sky riddled with twinkling constellations. the tall-grasses behind you tickle at your back, and within them, crickets chirp and cicadas perform their summertime theme. somewhere, there’s two frogs talking to eachother. in the distance, a pair of fireflies float around each other above the pond. every few seconds or so, the still water would ripple as an insect touched the surface. all around you there was the smell of water and earth: perfect and natural companions. 

you feel changbin sigh by the way this is shoulder brushes against yours. 

you’d never seen him more content. he didn’t meet your eyes, but merely soaked up everything around the two of you with a little smile tugging at the corner of his lips. he bites his lip to let out a little laugh in his wonder. 

you love him so hard. 

you loved him so hard it seemed like it must have been impossible. 

he catches you consuming every little bit of him that you can, causing you to shyly avert your eyes away from his glance. of course, he only chuckles out harder. 

“it’s really pretty isn’t it?” 

“uh-yeah, mmhmm.” 

you’ve shut your eyes tight in your embarrassment, so the touch of his fingers on your chin startles you. he carefully guides your face to look upon him again. your heart can’t take it, being this close to him. you’re looking at him whole, memorizing every feature of his face like you might wake up the next day and forget him altogether. ripples from the lake reflect in his eyes, sparking with moonlight. his hand falls to caress the side of your face with the back of his fingers. 

the yellow of two more fireflies close behind him flicker like fireworks. 

you had always known, but feeling his eyes on you was something you could drink up forever. 

changbin’s other hand rises to hold your face completely in his hands. 

“you’re so beautiful.” his voice bathed in pure admiration, “don’t you ever think anything different.” 

“--bin...” you shy away into his hands. 

“I mean it!” he shakes you a little, those dimples of his spotting his face. 

“you don’t have to say that...” 

“why the hell else would i take you on this long-ass walk in the middle of the night, if not to tell you that I think that you are the most beautiful person in this world and that...i can’t stop thinking about you?” 

“a-about me?” 

“yeah! obviously.” 

he saw the tears well up in your eyes before you had anything to do with them, and he just as quickly wiped them away with his thumbs. 

“why are you crying?” he cooed. 

you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself. 

“i-i’m just, really happy. i--” 

changbin pulls your lips onto his, an action that takes all of the breath out of your lungs. he takes his time kissing you, overflowing your mouth with the softest touches, kissing you like he fears like you might melt away. there’s nothing but care in the way that he kisses you and draws you nearer to him, he’s already addicted the feeling. when you let your hands grasp at his shoulders, he smiles into you with glee. 

in this moment, there’s nothing but him, and the cicadas, the crickets and the whole expanse of the sky. 

“come here,” he prompts, pulling you to sit on his lap, encircling his arms around you to bury his head a little into your back. “you’re so warm.” he mutters. 

where his hand is wrapped around you, you rest your hand directly over it. for the first time ever, you note that yours is slightly bigger than his. 

“do you trust me?” changbin sighs into your back. cautiously, his hands traverse your body, wrapping his fingers up in the folds of your shirt and running down to your legs where he ghosts his fingertips over your bare skin. the humidity of the summer night lingers there. he dances over the skin of your inner thighs. 

“yes, I trust you.” you say as your senses slip. 

all he has to do his drag his fingers over your bulge to scatter your inhabitations into the summer breeze. 

“hm. cute.” he gives your bulge a squeeze. 

“mm, bin--” 

“you do it to me too.” he nibbles your ear, breath spilling down your neck after. 

from where you sit, you feel it as well. it sends your head spinning thinking about the desire he must feel for you. had he daydreamed of it too? 

“can i give you more?” 

your voice trembles, “yes,” 

your whole body quivers with anticipation as he pops your button undone and then unzips your zipper, finding one more button on your boxers. your dick is twitching for him, aching for his touch. he does the same to himself, pulling you into his lips once more. he tastes of the cherries that you had picked together that day. 

changbin’s hand finds your cock to free it from your pants, teasing your dribbling tip and slit with his index. 

with a little hiccup, you squeak, “you aren’t scared that someone will see us?” 

“no one is gonna see us at this time of night,” he assures you with a grin into your lips. “my hand looks so pretty on your cock.” changbin muses with the same moonlight in his eyes. 

you’re careful, but you spring free his dick from the confines of his underwear and he bites your lip feeling the pressure. his girth is surprising, but it feels unreal in your hand, and you tug at him, squeezing hard, making sure not to leave his tip unattended either. changbin guides his fingers into your mouth, wetting them with your saliva while you shiver at the taste. he takes the slick down to rub at your own dick, twitching and ready.

among the symphony of the nighttime, both of your moans fade away into the air, soft and intimate for the other to drink up languidly. 

changbin lightly pulls your hand away from him to jerk at himself, and letting you do the same. he holds your eyes, focusing only on the way that your face screws up a little. 

“thats right, does it feel good in your hand when you look at me?” changbin nearly growls. “look at what you do to me.” 

you thrust lightly into your hand, “does thinking about me...make you--” 

“--yeah...it does.” 

he pulls you closer to him, and for a moment, the veiny lengths of your dicks meet, and the two of you relish in the feeling of the other’s against your own. 

the nighttime air tangles its way though the tall-grasses, and ruffles up the leaves in the cottonwoods, shimmering the leaves like the sparkling of sea-waves. your free hand tangles in his hair, soft as moss; his lips gentler than flower petals. 

you came together, at nearly the same time, making a right mess of both of both of your clothes, but none of that seemed to matter--at least then. 

you had never loved him harder. 

[gospelofme]

57 Thoughts I Had While Watching Part 2 of The Bad Batch Season Finale (Spoilers ahead!!)

I do like how Part 2 picks right up where Part 1 left off. I prefer that method since it makes it feel like one connected piece. Like how Rogue One ended where A New Hope kicks off.

Ya know, I wouldn’t mind the thunderstorms.

Okay the explosions are beautifully animated. The blues, the sparks, the orange flames. And I like how they’re realistically placed. So many shows with explosions don’t have them right close to the characters, even if they’re supposed to be all around them.

This episode is kinda darkly lit. Not like Battle of Winterfell in Game of Thrones.

Okay yeah, that clone reporting the destruction…thats some sadness there.

That inner alarm has me thinking “oh shit my flight has changed gates again hasn’t it!!”

Damn, imagine being unconscious and wake up in a flooding compartment with a droid and that one kid who took your place.

Okay how strong is that knife. I kinda expect it to break in half. Wrecker would

probably try to trade with Hunter after that.

The shot of the burning buildings on the water is so beautiful too. The reflections were well done.

About AZ being like “oh hey homie, you survived being blown up but now you’re drowning. And I’m watching while this literal child tries to move metal debris off of you.”

Okay Omega using her bow like that is genius. But please wee baby don’t hit Crosshair by accident. And the way the bolts underwater were animated. 🤌🏻🤌🏻

And Crosshair being all “wtf?!”

Dang Omega is so take charge here.

Okay the sprays of water from the door is so well done. And omg they just pop outta there lmao!!!! About how Omega is caught and they just let Crosshair slide on the floor.

Haha Crosshair being like “Hunter, you fucker did you break something?!”

I really wish it wasn’t so darkly lit, but it does bring a sense of realism. The power is out, so what we’re able to see is what the characters are able to see with flashlights. Plus I’m sure this would look different on my TV than iPad.

The music is so pretty, so emotional. Oh damn poor AZ.

Oh never mind. He’s good.

Crosshair quit being a poop and follow them please.

Echo and that smell lmao.

“Blind allegiance makes you a pawn. A real leader protects his squad.”

Huh. Interesting. But isn’t blind allegiance what the clones had in the Republic? Isn’t that what Clone Force 99 had in the Republic? At least mostly. Some clones didn’t have that obviously, like Cut.

Ooohh Crosshair’s expression when Hunter knocked his shoulder. That seemed like surprise. There is something to that.

Hmmmmmm I’m with Crosshair on that. Going through a glass tunnel with cracks in it hundreds of feet below the surface would be a no from me. Also, what about water pressure? Is that not a thing there? Like wouldn’t you get a massive headache traveling through that? Or maybe not….idk.

Oh fuck Wrecker letting Crosshair know what’s what. I do like that he’s finally expressing how he feels. I’ve always thought there was more of a brotherly relationship between Wrecker and Crosshair than Crosshair had with the others. And Wrecker has a point, Crosshair didn’t even try to come back to them. Of course that really isn’t a fair statement either I guess. Wrecker should remember how he couldn’t control what he did when his chip kicked on.

And Tech jumping in and saying that Crosshair has always been “severe and unyielding” is a good way to let us know a bit more of what’s normal behavior for Crosshair. I like how he’s reminded Wrecker that some things Crosshair can’t help due to just how he is (likely a byproduct of the enhancement experiments).

“Understanding you does not mean I agree with you.” Ugh if only more people had this mindset. Also, the whole “why are you defending me?” sounds like Tech doesn’t usually leap to Crosshair’s defense (even though that’s not what he’s doing here). Which further makes me think that the brotherly relationship that usually exists between team members (like Domino squad eventually, Rex/Echo/Fives/Kix/Jesse/Hardcase/Tup) doesn’t exist here between all the guys. It’s more sporadic. Crosshair seems to get along better with Wrecker (in their own way, teasing and their droid death counts) than he does with Tech.

Also perhaps they should not stop so often…ya know, just in case the tunnel implodes.

Oh nope nope nope. No underwater tubes and sea monsters for Bethany.

AZ is so peppy. Like he sounds so positive when relaying bad news. He sounds like the kinda droid that would be like “good news is you have great cholesterol, bad news is you have cancer. But yay no diabetes!”

Oh yeah I kinda forgot Hunter wasn’t with them they first got to the private lab. And oh damn, Omega is technically older than them. The whole accelerated aging thing is just so unfair.

Well we really couldn’t expect a glass tunnel to fully survive aerial bombardment. Better start swimming fuckers!!

Damn, someone find AZ a charger! I bet Tech has one for his datapad that boy is attached too. He seems like the type to never be without a phone charger. He also seems like the type to not want to share it because no one else in the squad treats their charge cords with respect.

Dad gum Crosshair, I didn’t hear you spouting off any bright ideas. Geez, who peed in your wheaties?!

Hunter takes things too personally?! Weren’t you being all Salty McSourpus over Hunter leaving your ass on Kamino for shooting at him and the others? Were you not taking that too personally? But kudos to Hunter for reminding him the Empire peaced the fuck out and left him to die on Kamino. Although…Crosshair does sound like he’s trying not to care about that. Like it does bother him but he’s acting like he don’t give a fuck.

“The Empire will control the entire Galaxy. And I’m going to be a part of it.” Uhm, sir…you’re currently in a secret lab at the bottom of the ocean with no means of escape right now. How do you plan to be a part of the Empire from down here? Like, are you going to establish the underwater branch of the Empire and assert the Emperor’s control over the sea critters?

Ugh Omega trying so hard to bond with Crosshair. Like the parallel between this scene and the holding cell scene. And her thinking she was wrong about the chip making him behave like a dick. Oh sweet baby, you’re not wrong. He still has that thing. But he has always been a dick per Tech’s words earlier. But she’s trying so hard to show him the similarities between them.

I’ve noticed Crosshair does a lot of pushing people away. Like he’s been doing that with Hunter and Omega this whole season. Speaking harshly to them both (although I think some of the things he says to Hunter, he’s always wanted to say). But I think it’s more that he wants to avoid disappointing them, so he shoves them away to prevent that feeling. Like perhaps he thinks he isn’t worthy to be around them, that they’ll be better off without him around.

Oh fuck, look at you contributing now Mr. I Am Going To Complain About Other People’s Ideas.

Did they have to draw straws to see who got their own pod and who had to team up with who? Like,

Hunter: “Someone has to go with Tech.”

Crosshair, Wrecker: “Not it!”

Echo: “not it, fuck I wasn’t fast enough.”

Oh the wee child is getting her own pod. Okay then.

Of course Hunter and Crosshair get doubled up. I bet they argue the whole time.

Crosshair: “stop breathing all the air!!”

Hunter: “stop standing on my foot!!”

Crosshair: “well it’s not my fault you have Sasquatch feet!”

Oh damn. Well bye Omega. It was nice knowing you. Crosshair probably has your eulogy already written.

Hm, so Tech never shared his datapad charge cord with AZ. Bummer.

Awww poor AZ. He was a good droid. We’ll remember how he OMG OMEGA WHAT THE FUCK?!!???

Again is water pressure not a thing in Star Wars?

Sweetie. He’s metal. You won’t be strong enough to pull him along with you.

Oh fuck Crosshair! Oh damn the look on his face is like “Hunter, get you ugly ass face out of my shot.” Oh damn, boy has got some good eyesight, I want a piece of that.

Bruh, that’s gotta hurt. You just saved the kid they all love and they got you at blaster point. Buuuuuut at the same time you haven’t expressed the most positive attitude towards said kid either. So maybe they have a good reason to think you’d shoot her? Still. Damn. That’s gotta hurt, since if it had been the good ol’ days they’d be like “nice shot buddy!”

Hunter looks more wary than upset honestly. Like he isn’t sure why Crosshair did that, but he’s not sure if Crosshair would want him expressing gratitude either. Hunter doesn’t seem to know how to treat him any more. Crosshair belittles him and speaks harshly to him, but then saves Omega. It’s almost like old Crosshair is still in there, knowing how attached the team is to Omega. Even if he does think she’s not in the safest environment with them.

Oh…omg what is this?! I just noticed, no rain on Kamino….AND SUNSHINE?! Like is that a fucking sunrise??!!?? Oh shit you guys there is symbolism here!!! Like a new start or something impossible has happened. Like there has never been sunshine on Kamino, it’s always stormed. Always. Always and forever it has done that. But after the destruction of Tipoca City, the rains cease and the sunshine comes out. Like….omg guys. It’s pretty!!

Interesting. Omega seems sad that a place she didn’t want to ever return to is gone. But I guess that’s probably the notion that she’s essentially homeless setting in. That the only home she’s had (before Clone Force 99) is gone.

Also, I have this theory that Ghost Fives probably travels with Echo, and he’d likely be like “good! Fuck that place. Killing Tup there and all. Bitches.”

Echo: “stfu Fives, she’s sad okay.”

Honestly I’m not surprised Crosshair refused their offer to come with them. He has his pride and I feel like he doesn’t want to admit aligning with the Empire was a mistake. That he was wrong and Hunter was right. Especially after being all Pro-Empire and talking about how they’re going to be what the Galaxy needs.

“Consider us even.” GIRL he admits it! He was saving YOU!! YOU! Not the dumb droid, YOU!!!!

His face says it all when they pull away. Like he regrets not going with them, but he can’t bring himself to stay with them. He’s really conflicted right now. He has programming in his head telling him one thing and another portion of his mind reminding him that Tech, Wrecker, Hunter, and even Echo care about him. That they’re a team. He even wanted them to join the Empire so they could all get back together. He does want to be with them, but it’s going to take time to get passed the war in his head.

Oh damn, Nala Se and some Commando buddies. Yeah there’s something up with her. She seems to have gained a lot out of this. Making herself more important than Lama Su and likely more important than the other scientists from Kamino. I wonder if this was her plan all along. It’s so hard to tell what Kaminoans are thinking because they don’t express emotions facially or even vocally.

I read a post somewhere about Nala Se doing childish science experiments. Like the baking soda/vinegar volcano. And now I can’t get the image out of my head of her teaching like a high school chemistry class where you get to do those classic science fair experiments. Things exploding, clones accidentally gassing each other at a table. Someone betting someone else 5 credits to drink a solution.

@leias-left-hair-bun @halzore @escapedthesarlacc @eyecandyeoz

[mother-snake]

self-destruction pt.1

(welcome to a new series! this will be angsty... but thats to be accepted by now...) tags: @idkanameatall warnings: self-hurt, crying, tears. general angst thrown out the window words:4646 next: n/a

-janus wakes up to a voice in his head he hasnt heard since the day he was created. things can only go down hill from there, cant they?-

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old, Will you buy me a house of gold? And when your father turns to stone, Will you take care of me?"

Nothing had been okay for a while. And no one had realised how much it had been affecting a certain side. the split… Virgil leaving… Remus leaving…

And now he was alone. Something he wished he never was. it had hurt to wake up each morning and make breakfast, only to call on Remus to remember that he was gone. he didn’t know how long he cried when the deep green door wasn’t in its place. The three dark sides had promised each other that no one would be left behind… yet… here he was.

Alone, cold and done. The lines on his arms showing the pain that seemed to break over the surface. maybe that’s why it hadn’t been such a surprise when he woke up late one day, a heavy weight draping over him.

He had laid there for a while before standing up to at least make himself look presentable despite the fact no one was there… old habits die hard.

And when he looked into the mirror. He had been surprised. His once shiny brown hair was duller, grey streaks mixed in, making him look like he had aged years over night. even his scales had matched his grey hair, just darker… his eye was still yellow. Just duller.

He stared at his reflection curiously. Reaching up and running his had along his scales. He flinched as he felt how cold they were. Not warm like they used to be. But now ice cold.

Then he froze in place. A small voice. One he had not heard since the day he was created. But it had stuck with him. And it spoke something that sent a shiver down his back.

“I’m sorry self-destruction,”

And just like that…it was gone.

Had that really been what had happened… had his core shifted? Become something new? this… wasn’t like a split. He would have known if there was one present. Anyone would have.

A weak smile grew on his face. he truly had changed. There was no way the others could trust him when he looked even more like a villain.

he looked around his room. Nothing had changed much to his confusion. Everything was still bright yellow and pitch black.

His eyes landed on his hat. He walked over and picked it up. he brought it up to his chest and held it tight. it was a gift. From the one person who hadn’t deliberately left him. The one gift he had ever gotten… and it had been from Romulus.

He placed it back on his vanity. It was time to retire the hat… things were changing. And maybe it was time to start from fresh. Completely.

“just listen to me!” he jumped at the voice that screamed in his head with such agony. this… was Logan’s voice? What?

He felt himself sinking down before he knew what was happening. Drawn like a moth to a flame. His mind reeling from the sudden noise and overwhelming sensation of sadness that had swept over him.

--

When he arrived. he had been rather surprised. He was in Logan’s room. The walls covered in graphs and papers. It was bigger than his room. Almost double.

His eyes landed on a figure hunched over at a desk. The light sound of tears made his heart ache. But… that was it. he didn’t seem to care as much as he used to. Maybe it was the lack of feeling in his chest.

“Logan?” he said. the logical side seemed to tense at the spoken word. “Logan, are you alright?” Janus said as he made his way over, trying to avoid knocking over the several towers of books.

--

Logan took a breath and looked over to where the deceitful side was. he blinked and rubbed his eyes… what the… what had happened?

He wasn’t sure what to focus on really.

His hair, scales, eye or the thin lines on his arms that were scabbed and fading. “Janus… what happened to you?” he said as he stared at the other. “that’s not why I’m here,” Janus stated coldly, sending a shiver up Logan’s spine, “I want to know if you’re alright.”

“I… I am fine Janus, I assure you?” “really then?” he said as his lips twitched up, “so you’re not bothered by the fact the others wont listen to you then?”

Logan froze as he turned back to his computer. “what?” his head snapped over to look at the other.

“you’re being ignored by everyone… and its causing you stress. But instead of facing it, you’re over working yourself,” Janus stated. “why do you care deceit,” he spat back. “one, that’s not my title… two because I care. If Thomas’s logic burned himself out due to over working, things could get bad. That and despite the fact you say you have no emotions; there you were not just five minuets ago crying due to the others not listening and messing up the schedule.”

Logan was at a loss for words. He glared at the snake. “falsehood,” he said as he stood up, “im logic. Emotions don’t matter to me. they only get in the way. if this is an attempt to make me join the dark side, I suggest you leave.” he glared at the other. Anger boiling in his chest.

“go talk to the others,” Janus muttered as he cast his eyes away, “tell them that they are making you work over time. That’s all I want to say.”

The small smile was replaced with a blank stare. And he was gone just as quickly as he had come. leaving a puzzled Logan in place. Wondering one thing. what had he meant by deceit no longer being his title…

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old, Will you buy me a house of gold? And when your father turns to stone, Will you take care of me?"

 Janus sunk to his knees when he arrived back in his room. Silent gasps filled the air as tears poured from his eyes. he thought that maybe Logan would be able to see past all he had done. Think logically about why he was there in the first place.

He guessed wrong. And the words that had fallen out of Logan’s mouth were like knives to his soul. He would be telling the truth when he said that it had taken so much energy not to break down at his words then and there.

Why had it hurt so much? was it because after several weeks of being alone, that was the first thing anyone had said to him? or was it because of his new core… he didn’t know. But he just wanted to stop crying.

 it had taken half an hour before he stopped crying. He moved himself off the floor and onto his bed. he laid sprawled out, weakly holding onto the blanket under him. Burying into the fluff and warmth.

Little to no energy left. The lack of sleep from the previous night getting to him, making it hard to keep his eyes open. soon he caved in, grasping onto the sleep.

--

Logan had been concerned, the more he thought about what Janus had said. and it was slowly getting to him. “Logan? Are you alright?” Patton asked.

Ah. He was just staring at his toast. Had he been so caught up in thought? “after breakfast I would like to talk to you all, if that’s alright. But I will have something to do first,” he sighed, slumping his shoulders. “of course! But may I ask why you’d like to talk to us dear nerd?” roman asked. “it’s about the schedule. With everything that keeps coming up I’m constantly trying to fix it. and at the minuet I don’t know how Thomas is going to get everything done,” “so you need help cutting some things out?” Virgil said as he took a sip from a purple cup. “basically… yes.” “no problem specks,” Virgil said as he shrugged his shoulders.

“anyways, where will you be going?” “ah… I will be visiting Janus later,” roman and Virgil froze at his words. “why?” roman said with a raised eyebrow. “he… was the one to bring up the fact I was burning myself out. I said some harsh things. I also have a question to ask him.”

The other four sides looked between each other with confusion and worry.

 He was outside Janus’s door sooner than he would have liked. But he was okay with that. Patton had sent him away with a box of cookies for the snake. Worried about him as they hadn’t spoken since the Lilly-Patton incident. he unconsciously rubbed his neck.

He sent three sharp knocks on the door. But much to his surprise, the movement had pushed the door open, the deceitful side must not have closed the door properly.

He nudged it open just enough to peek inside. A sharp pain filled his heart as he saw Janus sprawled on the bed that sat in the furthest corner of the room. another thing he realised was just how cold it was. like an icy blanket that covered the entire room.

He entered cautiously, placing the tub of cookies down by Janus’s hat. he looked over to the sleeping side with worry. He had never seen him looking so peaceful. It was kind of worrying truthfully.

He summoned a blanket and draped it over Janus, hoping it would keep him warm for now. he reached into his pocket. A small sorry letter he had written in case Janus wasn’t in. but sleeping was also another reason he hadn’t thought about.

He placed it at the end of the bed. Hoping the other would find it when he woke up. and if he didn’t, that wouldn’t stop him from apologising in person. he knew when he was wrong about something. And he knew he was wrong to say the things he had.

I will make you queen of everything you see, I'll put you on the map, I'll cure you of disease.

He had been surprised when he was slowly waking up. something warm was covering him like the worlds best hug. He would be lying if he said he didn’t pull it further over himself.

But as he slowly woke up, he cracked his eyes open and almost broke. He stared at the blanket that was covering himself only to see the deep blue colour. Logan had been here?

He sat up quickly, scanning his room quickly to see if the side was there. Not to his surprise… he wasn’t there. his alarm clock told him he had been asleep for a while. Lunch rolling around the corner soon.

He pulled the blue blanket over his shoulders and tied the ends like a cape. He forgot how cold he was for a couple seconds.

He looked over to his hat, a small plastic box sitting next to it. a small part of him thought he was asleep. There was no way that a light side would willingly come over… right?

He picked up the container and opened it up. chocolate chip cookies stared back at him. yes… he was definitely still asleep. There was no other way this was happening. Yeah… he would wake up in a couple seconds and he would be alone once again. None of this would be here.

He sighed and reached into the box, pulling out a cookie. a tiny smile formed on his face. he knew Logan couldn’t cook. So, there was a high chance that it was Patton’s or romans cooking.

He placed it back into the box and closed it over. But he held the container in his hands a little longer before placing it down.

Any warmth that had filled him before seemed to dull down as he realised that despite everything. He was still alone. For all he knew they were doing this to keep him away for a while longer…

“why can’t I do anything right!” the voice yelled in his mind. this one he could tell was Patton’s.

He sighed. Today was going to be a long day. He could already tell. he snapped his fingers and changed out of his pyjamas and into something else.

Black dress pants and a yellow button up. his caplet draped over his shoulders. Logan’s blanket still tied around himself like a cape.

And soon he found himself sinking down.

Let's say we up and left this town, And turned our future upside down. We'll make pretend that you and me, Lived ever after happily.

Janus arrived in the light side’s kitchen. Patton stood staring at the wall. he let out a cough, grabbing Patton attention almost immediately. “oh! Hello Jan- “he cut himself off as he looked at the snake with shock, “you…seem to have changed quite a bit there,”

Janus simply rolled his eyes, not as bothered as he felt he should have been by morality’s words. “anyways… I came to ask if you were okay,” he moved himself over to Patton's side.

“I’m… I’m okay kiddo,” Patton said, plastering a fake smile on his face.

Janus returned the smile with a blank look on his face,” that’s a lie. Isn’t it?” he sighed. “I don’t know what you mean?” “you’re bottling it up. you feel like you keep hurting those around you with everything you do,” Janus felt like such a hypocrite, “and you feel like you’re driving them away in the process. Am I wrong?”

Patton felt tears pricking his eyes as he looked at Janus. “what do I do?” he said, “I don’t want to lose them…”

Janus stayed silent. His face scrunched up in thought. His fingers rapped over the counter. “I don’t know truthfully… but maybe you should just confront it head on. Don’t skirt around the issue…” don’t do what I did, that’s what he meant.

Patton looked at him with a sad smile. “would you like to join us for lunch Janus?” he said as he rubbed his eyes, getting rid of the tears that messed with his vision. “as much as I’d love to, I know roman and Virgil wouldn’t want me there,” he said sadly. Patton could feel the small amounts of sadness coming from him. But it was blocked off by something else. As if it was being hidden by something else. Whatever it was, he couldn’t sense it. “well, if you change your mind, you’re welcome to join us.”

Janus gave a weak smile in Patton's direction and turned to leave but froze as he saw who was standing at the door.

Virgil glared at him but he could see the confusion in his eyes. “why are you here deceit,” he growled. “one, that’s not my title any more. And two… Patton simply needed some assistance. I was happy to help,” he said, keeping his eyes of the anxious side.

“excuse me?” Virgil said startled, “what the hell do you mean deceit isn’t your title anymore?” Janus shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of the other. “you can call me self-destruction from now on,” he said coldly, glancing up an connecting his eyes with the purple of Virgil’s.

Neither side knew what to say at what the now self-destruction side had said. This was new. sure, there had been splits… but never a full core change… “Janus…” Patton said as he took a step closer. “don’t,” Janus said, holding a hand up. Patton stopped walking towards Janus. His concern for the side growing even more.

Virgil didn’t know what to do, he just stood there dumbfounded. This was the last thing he had been expecting. Okay sure, he had been startled when he saw Janus’s new look. but this… his title shifting to something new. something like that? he didn’t know what to do. And he didn’t like not knowing things…

“how long,” Virgil said as he stared at the snake. “only this morning… no one else knows,” Janus said.

They shifted uncomfortably for a couple more seconds. “well… if you don’t mind, I think it would be best if I left for now,” Janus said, making his way over to the door Virgil had been blocking.

“no,” the anxious side said, “we don’t know what you can do now. How do we know if you wont effect Thomas,” he said staring at Janus. “please, you didn’t care about me before, why change that now?”

Virgil felt his chest tighten at the words spoken by Janus. “as much as I hate to say it… Virge has a point. With a new title… you will have to learn new things about yourself. And having people around might help,” he said carefully, trying to block out the words Janus had previously spoken.

“just let me go,” he muttered, swaying as he stood as still as possible. “Janus are you- Janus!” Patton yelled as he caught the side who had toppled over.

Janus was unconscious before he heard Patton yell his name.

Virgil was by their sides in seconds. Panic spreading through his veins. “Janus… Janus,” he said as he shook the snake, hoping to wake him up. “he’s like ice!” Patton said as he jerked his hand away from his head.

“get the others and tell them that Janus will be staying with us for a while,” Patton said as he picked Janus up bridal style. Trying his best not to shiver under the coldness of the others skin.

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old, Will you buy me a house of gold? And when your father turns to stone, Will you take care of me?"

Virgil gave a sharp nod before bolting out the room and making his way to the bedroom hallway. the first door he came to was Logan’s. he pounded on the door, hoping it would startle Logan out of his work. he heard shuffling on the other side before his door creaked open. Logan looked at Virgil rather surprised.

“get your ass down stairs,” Virgil said before shooting of to the twins shared room and pounding on the door in a hurry.

The door opened on its own and he flung the door open irritably. “get your asses down stairs, now,” he said as he looked at the twins who seemed startled by his sudden appearance, most likely thinking he was Patton.

But non the less they both stood up and made their way down the stairs after Virgil and a rather confused Logan. the three of them got closer to the living room. The sound of shuffling and Virgil pacing was all they could hear until they reached the room.

Patton was draping a blanket over something on the couch as Virgil moved something, placing a pillow underneath. and as the three of them got closer. They stopped moving.

“Janus,” Logan said before making his way over to the other two sides. he knelt down next to the unconscious side, “what happened?” he asked looking at the moral side. “we don’t know, we were talking and he started to sway before falling unconscious. I managed to catch him before he hit the ground, but he’s so cold. Almost like ice,” Patton muttered.

Logan reached his hand and placed it gently on the sides head. Patton was correct. He was cold as ice. “keep him wrapped up in the blankets,” he said before turning to the twins, “can one of you come with me to Janus’s room? I need to check something out from earlier,” he said as he stood up. “oh, and Virgil. Go into my room and get the medical box from under the bathroom sink. His arms need to be covered,”

Virgil stared at Logan, “what do you mean by that specks,” he whispered. even Remus who was normally loud and yelling, his eyes glazed over at his words, “he said he stopped…” he whispered horrified.

“ill come with you then dear nerd, we shall be back soon,” he said as he sunk out with Logan not too far behind.

I will make you queen of everything you see, I'll put you on the map, I'll cure you of disease.

 Logan and roman appeared in Janus’s room. The first thing roman did was curse under his breath at how cold it was. “no wonder he was so cold specks… his rooms colder than the artic!” “but why…” Logan said as he began to look around.

The room was much smaller than his own. But it was much more cluttered. A wall of trophies Thomas had won sat high and on display. musical posters and photographs hung the walls. a bookshelf sat facing Janus’s bed. Filled to the brim with books on philosophers and snakes.

Then his eyes landed on something. A small leather-bound book that looked far older than anything on the book case. “roman,” he said, causing the side to look up from his position, looking in a small wooden box. he made his way over as Logan removed the book. it didn’t take too long for him to realise what he was holding. “looks like a diary,” he muttered.

What had caught roman was the symbol printed into the front. One he hadn’t seen in on much. but knew all to well. “why does he have Romulus’s diary?” he said to himself, but it didn’t go unheard by the other in the room.

“no… its Janus’s,” he said as he flicked through the pages, “each one was signed of by Janus. Not Romulus- wait look here,” he said.

The hand writing and use of pen had changed from black to a multi coloured one. Red and green ink swirling on the page. he read over what was written.

They re read what was written. Guilt seemed to flood into them as the read it over and over again. had Romulus and Janus been that close that… oh god… a sick feeling laid planted in romans chest. he didn’t know much about the person he had split from. But he knew that Janus had always played a part in his past. He thought that maybe he had been the cause of the split.

Not that Romulus split on purpose in hopes to better balance out the mind scape for everyone’s sake. Maybe… he would discuss his plan with his twin later. “we should keep looking. And if we don’t find anything… we can put it down to his core shifting and messing with his room,” Logan said; he only getting a nod in response.

Ohhhh... And since we know that dreams are dead, And life turns plan’s up on their head, I will plan to be a bum, So I just might become someone.

Janus needed to stop falling asleep. He was going to mess with his sleep schedule. he noticed three things as he began to wake up for the third time that day. one, he was warm. Not Logan’s blanket, just keeping out the cold. This was full on Patton hug level of warmth. second was the smell of cookies that hung in the air. It was comforting to some extent. Only he knew he hadn’t done any cooking in a long time. third was that he was lying on something soft. His bed had always been stiff and hard. This, he was able to melt into like putty.

He didn’t want to move. He was perfectly fine being here for the rest of eternity. but he was curious as to where he was. so despite his body complaining against waking up, he tried his best to crack his eyes open. A bright light filled his vision, causing him to et out a small hiss of pain.

Then noise filled his ears, the sounds of people shouting and moving filled his head as he finally got his eyes open. he didn’t expect to see all the light sides surrounding him.

“Janus! Are you alright?” Patton asked. he didn’t know what to do. His mind ran at several miles an hour, a light panic setting into his chest as he realised how close they were to him.

Virgil seemed to know the look on Janus’s face, “everyone back away, you’re crowding him. He’s already starting to panic,” he said as he shuffled away slightly.

The others followed suit as they realised Janus was indeed internally panicking. they waited a couple minutes before Patton turned to Logan who gave him a quick nod. He stood up and made his way out of the room. “sorry,” Janus muttered as he bowed his head down. “it’s alright Jannie,” Remus said as he smiled at Janus.

He looked around the room once again. Still confused as to why they weren’t being hostile as before… “what happened?” he asked as he looked at them. Virgil shifted uncomfortably, grabbing Janus’s attention, “you fell unconscious after I confronted you in the kitchen. Patton caught you before you hit the ground,” he said, keeping his eyes away from Janus.

The room fell quiet. But it wasn’t bad… it felt calm. “well, should I put a movie on in the mean time?” roman asked everyone. “I have no quarry with that,” Logan said as he adjusted his glasses. “same here princy,” Virgil said. “sure thing bitch,” Remus said punching his twins arm getting a wince in response.

Janus nodded, moving his hand to rub his arm before looking down, realising he wasn’t touching his coarse skin. Once again, he felt himself freeze in place. They had seen them…

Well he was fucked. “Janus- “he looked up from his arms and towards roman. “is there anything you’d like to watch?” Janus didn’t respond, he only looked at roman before casting his eyes back to his wrists.

It was at that moment Patton entered the room with a bowl of soup. He gave it over to the grey scaled side with a smile. “you missed lunch and dinners still a while away, I thought you might get hungry,” he said cheerfully.

He held the bowl staring at it for a couple seconds. The soup seemed to ripple for a couple seconds. And it was then that he realised he had begun to cry. a pair of hands moved the bowl from him and someone wrapped him up in a hug. That only seemed to make him cry harder despite the fact he had clung onto the person.

“I’m sorry,” he hiccupped as tears continued to pour. he tried to stop crying, but the tears continued to pour despite his best efforts. “it’s okay Janus, you’ve been too strong for a long time, its our turn to return the favour,” Virgil whispered into his ear. another several sets of arms wrapped around him to the best of their abilities.

She asked me, "Son, when I grow old, Will you buy me a house of gold? And when your father turns to stone, Will you take care of me?"

Things were far from fine. That was for sure. But in that moment… he knew why he was crying and it wasn’t from sadness or loneliness or the never-ending coldness that laid over his heart that slowly seemed to be filling up with something warm.

The tears were from the overwhelming love he felt the others giving him despite all he had done. the warm looks given his way. he didn’t deserve them. But it felt so nice.

I will make you queen of everything you see, I'll put you on the map, I'll cure you of disease.

He himself was by no means going to be okay for a long time… but this?

This was a start.

[jinkisbelly]

Hearth

Pairing: ot5

Rating: pg, minus a blowjob offer

W/c: 3.7k

Warnings: uh food and wine? Kibum gets a bit tipsy but thats it

Summary:  With their busy lives and schoolwork, it's hard to find time altogether, but a game night is exactly what they all needed.

A/n: This was for prompt 31, for summer of shinee pt 2, which was: shinee but they're playing monopoly instead of working on projectsI hope you enjoy this small thing ^_^

AFF    Ao3

          He grimaced as he stared at his reflection in the newly wiped clean mirror. The steam from the shower was still billowing around him, hair dripping water droplets as he pushed it from his forehead, and a towel resting over his shoulders. Staring back was dark circles from too much stress and too little sleep. With a deep sigh, Jinki tugged open the cabinet and effectively cut off the picture of himself as he reached in for his moisturizer. Kibum would never forgive him if he forgot his skincare. ‘You may look dead on your feet, but at least you won’t have wrinkles.’ . Jinki found himself quietly laughing as he patted in the cool liquid into his cheeks at the memory of Kibum’s long fingers pressing some unknown facial cleanser onto his face, having his bottom lip tugged between in concentration as if it was the hardest thing he had focused on. The other man should be home soon with dinner. Taemin had been in charge of ordering it and Jinki was both excited and hesitant to see what the youngest man had chosen.

          There was a reason more often than not on Taemin’s turn at dinner they always ate out, mainly because it gave him certain parameters to pick from. Given free reign, milk was always found where it shouldn’t, like ramen. Jinki shivered a little at the reminder of THAT incident. Jonghyun reacted so badly to the spice and milk combination that he spent the next day making friends with the bathroom. There was always a limit on the things he’d do for the men he loves. Lying through his teeth about how great Taemin’s cooking was, well that was one of them. The youngest’s history with weird food combinations and risky take out orders was the main reason Kibum always was responsible for the night after his. The chef of their little group always made sure to make it all up to them with something tasty.

          Stepping into the room that he and Jonghyun shared, he was surprised to find Minho spread eagle on the bed. Last he knew the man was still at the university working with his group on the social differences between genders in competitive sports. His phone was held close to his face as he scrolled through something, the light of the screen reflecting off of his glasses. The bathroom door hinge squeaked as it was pushed open and Minho’s head snapped up, a huge smile blooming on his face. He scrambled up from his stomach, sitting back on his knees and accepting the soft kiss Jinki presses to his lips with a sigh. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, Love, but why are you here?”

          “Two of the three people didn’t show up. So the two of us that did show up figured we could do our parts at home.” Minho flopped back onto the bed, spreading his legs out in front of him, “Jonghyun and Kibum left for the food, and Taemin is currently trying to teach his hamster how to jump through a hoop, so I came in here to wait for you .”

          Jinki tugged on his sweatpants, tripping a little on his slippers he forgot were there, and tried to imagine how well that was going. “How is Cheese doing on that?”

          “Oh terribly. When I dropped my bag in the room all Cheese was doing was stealing the snack Taemin was holding and running away.” He could have sworn he had a shirt laid out before he headed into the bathroom, now where was the stupid thing? He looked up when Minho cleared his throat, “Are you looking for this?”

          Sure enough, held out was the shirt he was looking for. It was one of Jonghyun’s from high school, it was softened with time and too many washes, the lettering half faded on the chest.  He grabbed it with a sheepish grin before pulling it over his head. “Thanks, Love.”

          As soon as Jinki was on the bed next to him, Minho had his head against his shoulder, finding his hand to play with his fingers, “How was your day?”

          “I taught undergrads today. It was to be as expected.” With their busy schedules, it wasn’t often than Jinki got to see Minho for more than an hour a day it seemed, and most of that was getting ready to be somewhere else or the younger man making sure he remembered to eat something. He was always horrid at remembering to eat, which is why most of the time either Minho or Kibum made sure he had snacks in the front pocket of his backpack. The distant sound of chaos entering their home caused both men to glance toward the closed door. “I think the food’s here.”

          “From the sound of things, I don’t think Kibum approves of what Taemin ordered.” Minho hummed happily when Jinki pressed a kiss to his hair before both men headed toward the door. The sound of voices increased as the door was pulled open, and Jinki shook his head fondly as he followed Minho toward the rest of their little family.

----

          The dining room table was a second-hand piece of furniture Jinki and Kibum had gotten from a yard sale when they decided to move into a bigger place. It once had been a dark cherry wood, but the color had faded and bits were chipped and scratched from all the mayhem that descended upon it over the last two years. Not that anyone could see the table’s surface with the collection of binders, folders, papers, and calculators spread across the surface from where Jonghyun and Minho always set up shop to do their projects. The last time they had used it to eat off was two months ago when Taemin’s family came to visit and Kibum had made them all dinner. That being said, when Jinki and Minho entered the living room from the hall the food was already being spread out on the coffee table in the living room. From the looks of things, he ordered chicken wings. Which didn’t explain Kibum’s loud reaction to the food at all.

          When he spotted the sauce options chosen, that did, however. Blueberry barbeque sauce and garlic pepper, both mixed in together like some sort of strange concoction. Kibum looked one touch away from losing his chef mind, concern so vivid on his pretty features. Jonghyun looked like he was a mixture of amused, worried, and distraught in his own way. As Jinki slipped past the duo, he squeezed Jonghyun’s hip and kissed Kibum’s cheek. “It can’t be that bad, Bommie.”

          Jonghyun, grim as can be, shook his head, “Oh it can be, Baby, oh it can be.”

          Kibum pressed his lips together before turning completely on his heel, disappearing behind them for a moment. There was clanking, and something popping open. When he emerged again there was a bottle of wine in his hand. By his tongue lapping at his lips, he had already taken a swig. “Really?”

          “Let me forget his sins, Old Man.”

          Jinki eyed the bottle even as Jonghyun and Minho got busy pulling out the food from the bags and Taemin could be heard coming down the hall. Before Kibum could react, he gripped the bottle and pulled it, taking a long swig. Oh, gross, it’s red. He handed the bottle back with a grimace. “My day was bad, but not bad enough to willingly drink red wine.”

          Kibum stepped closer, wrapping his free hand around to rest on Jinki’s hip and kiss his temple. “There’s whiskey in the kitchen if you want a drink, but let’s eat and you can tell us about it.”

------

          The food had been eaten, and while strange, the sauce combination hadn’t been as bad as Kibum and Jonghyun made it out to be. Then again, Jinki loved chicken so much it was very hard to make him upset while consuming it.  Minho had taken their plates into the kitchen to clean because of it being his night for dishes.  Kibum was sprawled out on the couch, sipping the same bottle of wine he had shared with Jonghyun throughout dinner. The younger man had his fingers moving through Jinki’s hair as he leaned back against the front of the couch, legs under the table. Taemin had taken the opportunity to fall against his left side, hugging his arm loosely as they glanced at the drama that happened to be on the television when they turned it on for background noise.

          Jinki laid his head back against the cushion, eyes closing feeling Kibum’s long fingers scratch against his scalp. He was sure there was something important he needed to finish for school, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly with how good Kibum’s fingers felt. The man’s deep voice was quiet as he spoke, wine and drowsiness making him talk slower. “I’m sorry today was so bad, Baby.”

          “Not your fault undergrads are really stressful.”

          Taemin huffed, his breath fanning out over his shoulder as he shifted his head to look up at him. “Hey!”

          Kibum shifted closer until his head was against the edge of the cushion and the bottle of wine was gently placed on the floor beside Jinki. Before he could be disappointed that the fingers in his hair stopped, Kibum moved them again after adjusting his hand. “You’ll get to rag on undergrads soon, Taemin.”

          “Not soon enough.” The youngest grumbled, grabbing his cup to sip from the straw.

          “I should probably do my paper that’s due.” Kibum deeply sighed, his breath fluttering a bit of Jinki’s fringe hanging over his forehead.

          He turned his head until his right cheek was against the couch, smiling softly when Kibum’s fond grin came into view. “When is it due?”

          “Next Wednesday.”

          The topic of the conversation was momentarily forgotten as he gazed at his lover. While he knew Kibum was always pretty, it was moments like this that reminded Jinki just how beautiful he was. His eyelashes fluttering with his drowsiness, his hair falling in soft dark waves away from his face, and flush in his cheeks from his wine. The black hair was different than the blond Kibum had when they first started dating, but Jinki rather liked how his natural hair looked. Oh right, they were talking about something. “You have time to do it later.”

          Something sparked in Kibum’s dark eyes and his lips quirked up as he spoke, “You just don’t want me to stop playing with your hair.”

          “Guilty as charged.”

          A loud growl from their left had all of them looking in that direction. They found Jonghyun standing by the dining room table, leaning heavily on his hands and his hair falling from the tiny ponytail on top of his head into his eyes. Minho popped his head out from the kitchen, brows furrowed, “You alright?”

          “My research assistant forgot to get consent from the last group! I can’t use any of this data.” He lifted his hand, a stack of papers crumped in his harsh grip. “I have to do this all over and I don’t know if I have time and-”

          Minho swooped in close, tugging Jonghyun away from the tabletop and hugged him close. “Put the papers down. Worry about this tomorrow.”

          “But-”

          It was Taemin who chirped from his comfy spot, “We should play a board game instead.”

          Jinki could see Jonghyun was pushing up on his toes to see over Minho’s shoulder, but his voice carried over the distance. “What kind of board game?”

          Taemin sat up fully and grinned, “Monopoly of course.”

-----

          Jonghyun was sitting on Jinki and Minho more than the couch as Taemin came back into the room with the game. Kibum had moved onto the floor, his bottle of wine sitting on the table before him as he leaned his head on his palm and gazed at his three lovers on the couch. Jinki was whispering something against Jonghyun’s hair, causing the man to slowly smile and rouge to paint across his cheeks. Kibum was too tipsy to focus enough to make out what he was saying, but it still made him smile to see Jonghyun begin to giggle because of the oldest man. Minho was gently patting Jonghyun’s shins, leaning heavily on Jinki’s shoulder, but he grinned when Kibum caught his gaze.

          And then Taemin decided to shatter the soft, serene air by dead dropping the monopoly box onto the table. All eyes fell on the youngest, who grinned widely. “I can’t wait to kick y’all’s asses.”

          “Kibum and Jinki are tied with the most number of wins, Bub.” Minho quipped as he lifted Jonghyun’s legs to slip onto the ground, pulling the game box closer to him. Using the top, he pointed at Taemin as he continued. “You’re in last place.”

          “We’ll see.” Taemin’s tongue was poked out of the side of his mouth as he picked up the dark orange 500 dollar bills and began counting out the correct number of bills. All was good until he hit the 20’s, in which his hands lowered into his lap and he stared up at Jinki on the couch. “How many again?”

          “Six, Tae.” Came Jinki’s soft reply. His eyes were closed, a dazed smile on his face as Jonghyun played with his hair. Jonghyun chuckled, knowing that it was always the twenties Taemin forgot the quantity of. “Do I get a night off from being the banker?”

          As Taemin happily called out, yes, the other three men unanimously agreed. “No.”

          “I can do it.” Somehow Taemin always managed to make his voice carry the fact he was pouting deeply.

          “You say that and then after you have to do the math you push it towards Jinki. It’s alright.” Minho hummed, setting out the correct pieces. The Scottish dog for Jonghyun. The thimble for Jinki.The top hat for Kibum. The running shoe for himself, and finally, the car for Taemin. The other three were put back into the top of the box placed on the floor to his right.

          The money stacks were placed around the table and Kibum smacked his mouth after swallowing another sip of wine. “Alright old men, you have to come down now.”

          As soon as Jonghyun had managed to remove himself from the other’s lap, Jinki leaned forward and cracked his knuckles with a sleepy grin. “Who’s ready to lose?”

------

          It was Jinki, Minho and Taemin left. Kibum and Jonghyun had moved back onto the couch, the two men a tangle of limbs as Kibum snoozed with his cheek squished on Jonghyun’s shoulder. As soon as his little snores and nose whistles had been heard Jinki had looked behind him with a smile. Jonghyun looked like he was very close to following their lover’s footsteps, his eyes fluttering as he fought the pull of sleep. After finishing his turn, Minho pushed off the ground to pull the blanket from the recliner and toss it over the two of them.

          Jonghyun mumbled, “Thanks.”

          Taemin was still blowing on the dice, eyeing Jinki’s hotels on park place and boardwalk, when Minho returned to his spot. They all knew if he landed on either of those he was done for. Five or seven would be his doom. He had an 80 percent chance of getting around it safely, but as he finally let go of his dice, one quickly landed on a four while the other kept rolling until it fell off the board onto the table in front of Minho. Face up was a three. “Fuck!”

          “That’ll be two grand, please.”

          “Don’t sound so smug,” Jonghyun rumbled, hand falling from his tummy to pat Jinki in the back of the head.

          Taemin slowly went through flipping over his leftover properties and adding up their worths. Next were his few remaining houses and his one hotel. He had his little bit of cash gripped between both of his hands when he whipped his head up and asked, almost desperately. “If I blow you can I get a ‘get off boardwalk’ free card?”

          Minho choked on the bit of leftover wine in Kibum’s discarded bottle he was attempting to swallow as Jinki snorted. “While I’d love for you to suck my cock, I’m going to have to decline.”

          “Awh! Come on Babe, cut me some slack.”

          “We’ve been playing for two hours, Taemin.” Jinki ran his fingers through his hair to get it from his eyes, tired smile on his face. “I want to end this quickly so we can sleep.”

          Taemin sighed before pushing everything of his over to Jinki with a frown. “I guess I’ll admit defeat for that.”

          Jinki gathered his payment in a neat little pile before gathering the dice and rolling. Minho wasn’t as bad off as Taemin had been, and causing him to go bankrupt would require more than just a single boardwalk landing. Moving three had him visiting in jail. Finishing his turn, he pushed the dice over towards Minho before focusing on organizing his newly acquired items. Out of the corner of his eye, he was aware of the man moving his piece the correct amount of spaces on the dice, managing to bypass Jinki’s dark green properties and landing right before Park Place. Taemin hissed out, “Lucky bastard.”

          “I’m not safe yet, Bub.” Minho handed over the dice into Jinki’s palm with a grimace. “Remind me to never let Jinki get Boardwalk ever again.”

          “You make it seem like you had a choice.” Jinki grinned as he began to shake the dice in his fist. “I’ll make you a bet, Baby.”

          Minho’s eyebrow rose, intrigue shifting on his face. “Oh praytell.”

          “Name a number, any number 2 through 12. If I roll it, you win without exceptions.”

          “Just like that?”

          “Just like that.”

          “And if you don’t roll it?”

          “We keep playing.”

          With narrowed eyes, Minho agreed, holding out his hand to take Jinki’s to shake. “Agreed. The number is 12.”

          After a few more shakes, Jinki let his fist open and the dice clattered across the board before slowly rolling to a stop. Two sixes were clear as day facing up, and Minho whooped startling both men on the couch. Kibum whined, glaring harshly as his nostrils flared with his quick breathing. Jinki sighed with a fond smile as he leaned over to kiss Minho on the cheek after rising to his knees. “Congratulations, Baby.”

-----

          The water could be heard running through the open door of the bathroom. As well as the telltale sounds of Jonghyun brushing his teeth when the door hinge of the bedroom door squeaked. Coming through was Taemin, boxers low on his hips and hair a shaggy mess on his head. Jinki closed his book and pushed it on the bedside table with a smile. “Can I sleep with you two tonight?”

          “Of course. Climb on in, Love.” Taemin beamed and half face planted into the middle of the mattress. Jinki shook his head even as he reached over to fix the younger man’s hair. “That is not what I meant.”

          “It’s so fun to do it now.” He commented as he flopped onto his back and wiggled under the covers. “Thanks for not being in each other’s throats like the other two.”

          With a snort, Jinki asked, “Oh, is that why you graced us with your presence?”

          “Only half.” His cheeks were slightly pink with the admitted answers. “I also missed you two.”

          "Kibum was half asleep when Minho helped him to bed, how'd that turn into sex?"

          "Well they were bickering about Minho startling him awake at the end there and you know..." Taemin trailed off, but Jinki did know very well. Minho and Kibum arguing usually led to them having sex on the nearest surface, even the kitchen more times than Jinki wanted to admit he walked in on.

          In the dim light of the bedside lamp and the open bathroom door, Taemin’s chest scars were visible. They were light pink as he was on the far end of his healing journey, but it still brought a smile to Jinki’s face to see the man so comfortable without his shirt on. Settling down beside him, Jinki rested his fingertips barely on the scars.“They’re healing very nicely.”

          “Oh, yeah.” The warmth of his smile almost knocks the wind out of Jinki’s chest it’s so beautiful and free. It reminds him of just how far Taemin has come since they met almost four years before. Taemin snuggles closer, cheek squished with how close he moved into Jinki and trapping the older man’s hand between them. After removing it, Jinki wraps his arm around Taemin to keep him close. His voice is quiet and fluttery, as he relaxes in Jinki’s embrace. “You smell good.”

          “Thank you.” Taemin’s breathing was slowing and by a quick glance down, it was obvious he was beginning to fall asleep. Jinki kissed his forehead softly, lingering for a few moments before barely moving away to whisper, “Goodnight, Baby.”

          A few minutes later, Jonghyun shuffled out of the bathroom. He hooked up his phone to his charger and carefully sat on his side of the bed. He wiggled closer to Taemin, throwing an arm around his narrow waist and resting his chin on the younger man’s shoulder to gaze at Jinki. Pushing up slightly, he managed to catch Jinki’s lips softly. “Goodnight, Love.”

          “Sweet dreams, beautiful.”

          As they curled up, Jonghyun’s nose in the back of Taemin’s hair, Jinki’s chin resting on the top of Taemin’s head, and their legs a mess of limbs as they tried to find a comfortable spot, Jinki reached above him to turn the bedside lamp off by the switch on the headboard. He fell asleep with his arm over two of his lovers, smiling slightly as Jonghyun’s fingers tried to curl a little against his side. Sure, tomorrow they all had important things to finish, but right then none of that mattered. Jinki felt like he was finally home, wrapped up in the embrace of one of his lovers. A part of him wishes the other two were there too, but he would enjoy what he had, for it was more than enough.