#aussie aussie aussie oi fucking oi

[glxthoughts]

me: oh! lovely! this is a reasonably priced clothing item :) i cannot wait to purchase it!

the website being in USD:

[sneefsnorf]

THAT WAS THE MOST FUCKING INTENSE MATCH OF FOOTBALL IN ALL OF WORLD CUP FUCKING HISTORY.

[skaluli]

based on thomas of ska's newest video and his version of australia

without the bg:

this is satire dont kill me please i see the fire,, oh wait that might just be the bush fires .. . oH FUCK SHIT WAIT

[luuuuucyscorner]

𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞- 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐈'𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

Chapter One. Info: spider gets called up and put into the SLT. upon entering, he meets the new student: Y/n L/n and is immediately taken by her

Tags: 18+, swearing, groping

word count: 5582

gif by me

The semester started off normally enough, summer had just ended and it was time to start a new year of school. Spider's peaceful start was quickly interrupted by some random girl running through the courtyard yelling; "Oi! Theres a fully-gacked sex map in the old stairwell! It's called the Incest Map." In a blur all students were shoving their way into the stairwell trying to catch a peek at the Map. As Spider walked with Ant, attempting not to laugh at the current situation, his name was called over the loud speaker, "Will the following students please meet at classroom 5D," the principle lists a few names before saying "Spencer White". Spider groaned, “oh cunt.” As Ant next to him laughs, "Anthony Vaughn." At least he wouldn't be alone. “Oi, shits fucked, eh?” he says to his friend, “can’t imagine what kinda arvo it's gonna be.”

The two of them walk into class 5D and sit in the back, and as she walks in looking down, he calls out to Amerie; the girl who got him and twenty or so other students into this fucking mess, "Map Bitch! Map Bitch." he laughed noticing her miserable look. The teacher of the class, Ms. Obah, finally introduced herself before dubbing the class a sexual literacy class or SLT's, which quickly got spun into 'Sluts'. Spider and Ant start chanting "Sluts, Sluts, Sluts" before he's quickly cut off by the door slamming open and a new student stepping inside, he narrows his eyes…

A girl he had never seen before walks in, "uh hey? i'm not sure im meant to be here but i was called up? im new here, im Y/n L/n" the girl explained.

ms. Obah greeted her and motioned for her to sit down at the same table as spider and his mates. Leaning back in his seat, Spider smirks at the new addition to their little group. "Y/n L/n, huh? Well, Y/n, nice ta meet ya, the names spencer but my friends call me spider" he drawled, spewing more Aussie slang than usual. Crossing his arms, he gave her a once-over, grinning when she mentioned she wasn’t supposed to be there. "Well, looks like me and Ant here are gonna teach ya a thing or two bout rules today. Wanna play along, darlin'?" He winked, eyebrow raised suggestively. With a chuckle, he motions towards Amerie, snickering softly. "'S her fault we're here, dollface."

Y/n watches on, unimpressed. "god, so you're the class dickhead then?" she sasses.

"Oh, I ain't even close to bein' the biggest one around, love," Spider retorts with a cocky grin, leaning back in his chair. Seeing her stand up for herself only made him more interested. "But thanks for makin' me feel special, darling. That smile, though... How could anyone resist?" He leered at her playfully, crossing his arms over his chest. "Better start learnin', kiddo. Looks like yer in for a wild ride in 'SLT's.'" He chuckles, looking around at their fellow classmates before turning his attention back to her. "You're American, aren't ya?

Y/n rolls her eyes, "uh, no. its a British accent, you asshat"

Spider blinks, adjusting his gaze to study her for a moment. "British? Blimey, ya sound American tae me, love. Or Canadian, maybe?" He scratches the back of his head, tilting it to the side quizzically. "I dunno, mate. But yer right, I shouldn't judge a book by its cover, should I? Jus' a typical Aussie mistake." He grinned widely, clearly enjoying the banter. "Alright, Y/n, im sorry for taking the piss outta yer accent" he teases, noticing your expression.

"fuck off Spider we both know you'll be jacking off to my accent tonight" she winks as Ant and Dusty shove and make fun of Spider. Spider's cheeks flush a deep red. He glares at his friends before turning back to her, a mixture of embarrassment and amusement coloring his features. "Alright, alright. I'll admit it - I might've been thinking about it a bit. But yer can't blame me, doll. You've got a voice like honey." He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, feigning innocence. "Just enjoy the view." Swallowing hard, he tries to recover his composure. "But seriously, welcome to our lovely little class. Just try not to break anything, yeah?"

"Well stop taking the piss out of my accent then" she reaches over and palms his crotch under the table when no one is looking to enforce what she said. Spider jolts in surprise, gasping quietly as your hand connected with his crotch. His face turns bright scarlet, but he somehow manages to maintain eye contact with you. "Fuck, love! Not exactly what I was expectin'," he stammers under his breath, trying to stifle his laughter. "But I think I'll survive." He clears his throat, attempting to regain control of the situation. "Listen, if it bothers you that much, I won't mention it again." he gives her a lopsided grin, still feeling the lingering effects of her touch. "Now, let's focus on this class" he adds, subtly adjusting himself under the table.

"deal" Y/n winks and turns her attention back to ms. Obah. Spider sits, watching you intently, his heart pounding slightly faster. He couldn't deny the attraction he felt, nor could he hide the satisfaction in his eyes. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he forces himself to pay attention to Ms. Obah's lecture. Still, his thoughts kept drifting back to your bold move and the thrill of it all. And despite the awkwardness, there was undeniably a sense of excitement that lingered between them. "Deal," he agrees softly, keeping an eye on you during the lesson. Little did he know, he was already hooked.

[jflemings]

— our 32

pairing: kyra cooney cross x aussie!reader

synopsis: there’s nothing you’d rather do then watch your 32

warnings: none

a/n: starting off wip week with some kyra ❤️

it was pure coincidence that you had gotten a job helping run the arsenal women’s social media the same time kyra made her move to the powerhouse club. it was even more of a coincidence that the two of you had actually lived only suburbs apart in melbourne yet had never met.

from the moment kyra met you, she was completely and utterly obsessed. your kind hearted nature and welcoming aura had her in a trance and she would find herself being more open to filming content for arsenal’s social media despite sometimes feeling awkward doing it.

it was safe to say that her cheeky ways had charmed you pretty quickly and before you knew it she was asking you to dinner and a movie. the two of you bonded over your shared interests and she asked about a million questions regarding what your life was like up until that point, having complete genuine interest in each and every answer.

now almost five months later you sit surrounded by a sea of red and white watching arsenal beat chelsea in the conti cup final. you’re sitting near the bench, you and your friends chanting loudly as kyra gets the ball at her feet.

“nothing i’d rather do than watch our 32, kyra cooney cross! oi, oi, oi!” you shout whilst clapping along with the crowd, your best friend’s arm wrapping around your shoulder “when she’s on the ball she’s fucking magical, kyra cooney cross, oi, oi, oi!”

kyra hooks her foot around the ball, swiveling past chelsea’s back line effortlessly before crossing it. the pass is clean and on target, finding the feet of another red shirt. cheers erupt from the stadium but quickly turn to moans from the gooner end when the ball doesn’t find the back of the net.

the game plays out a similar way until stina puts one past hannah hampton, ultimately winning the trophy for the gunners for the second year in a row. arsenal fans are in hysterics, jumping, cheering and shouting ecstatically. you are quick out of your seat and cupping your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice, your face quickly going red from the blood rushing to your face.

you quickly pull out your phone and make your way to the sideline to get some content of the team and staff celebrating. kyra quickly spots you and breaks out into a sprint, her arms thrown out and a wide grin present on her face. she throws her arms around you and lifts you off the ground laughing “i saw you cheering! i saw you saying my chant!”

you place your hands on her shoulders as she hoists you up further, crossing her arms under your bum “i pride myself on being the loudest for my thirty-two” you wink and smile at her, cupping her face “you played so well today baby”

“thank you for coming” she says softly as she places you down

“it’s my job to be here ky” you laugh “but i’d be here regardless”

looping an arm around your waist, she taps the badge on her shirt and begins to lean in, meeting you halfway to place a soft kiss on your lips. one hand falls from her face and finds itself on her collarbone, your fingertips curl just under the collar of her jersey “go get your medal star girl”

kyra smiles again and pulls you in for another kiss, subtly swiping her tongue along your bottom lip. her action makes you hyper aware of where you are and you’re quick to pull away, making your girlfriend pout as you push her in the direction of her team. her arm slides out from behind you and she kisses your cheek sloppily, running off with a cheeky grin.

“i love you” she yells, looking behind her and blowing you a kiss before she practically jumps on lessi, the two gunners laughing joyfully.

“whipped. so, so whipped” a voice speaks up from behind you. you turn to your left and see caitlin begin to walk past you with katie “soooooooo whipped” the australian drags out obnoxiously whilst pulling a face.

you swipe at her “leave me alone foord!”

[theemporium]

Heyyyy,

Hope you’re doing well, i am literally obsessed with your works. And i am a certified Daniel girlllyyyy soooo 😘

Could i request a Daniel x Sunshine where Daniel is out on a boys night, and sunshine is out with her friends but they both can’t stop thinking about each other and end up leaving early to get home, and just as soon as they see each other they can’t stop saying how much they missed each other lmao

Thank youuu

thank you so much!! and thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

He was halfway through typing a message to you when he felt his phone be ripped from between his fingers. 

“Oi!” 

Daniel sent the Dutchman a pointed look, one that looked borderline murderous. However, Max just looked pleased with himself as he held Daniel’s phone just out of his grasp. 

“Mate, give it.”

“No!” Max scoffed and shook his head, passing the phone to Lando next to him. “You’ve been on the damn thing all night.”

Daniel rolled his eyes. “No, I haven’t.” 

“Yes, you have,” Charles piped in with his hands raised in mock defence when the Aussie’s glare whirled onto him. 

“I just wanted to make sure she’s okay!” Daniel defended. 

“She’s with her own friends,” Lando pointed out, almost a little too smugly. “Who are probably giving her as much shit as we are giving you considering you’re—oh, I don’t know—meant to be enjoying the night with us.”

The Aussie only scoffed slightly. “Sorry for being a caring boyfriend.” 

“More like a helicopter boyfriend,” Max grumbled under his breath, only to wince slightly when his teammate reached out to pinch his side. “Ouch!”

“Just give me back my phone,” Daniel asked with his hand extended out. “Please. I’ll send one more message and then I’m done for the night.” 

The boys all looked at each other, an unspoken conversation exchanged between the glances before eventually Lando sighed and handed him the phone across the table.

“One message,” was all he said and Daniel didn’t bother hiding his grin. 

However, when he looked down at his phone, he was surprised to find a handful of messages from you already, sent in the short amount of time he had been bickering with the other boys. His eyes glazed over the messages, suddenly glad the dark club couldn’t really pick up on his blushing cheeks.

sunshine: i miss you :( 

sunshine: these margaritas are strong af

sunshine: fuck i wish you were here

sunshine: i wish i could kiss you rn

sunshine: i wish i could do more than kiss you

You weren’t an overly affectionate person. It just wasn’t in your nature and Daniel had always respected that, he hadn’t minded all that much that you preferred to show your love behind closed doors where it was for him and him only. Yet, that being said, all of that went out the window the second you had some alcohol in your system. 

You had various personalities that popped out when you were drunk, but the most common one and Daniel’s personal favourite was your clingy drunk side. The side of you that just wanted to melt against him, to wrap yourself around him and kiss him every thirty seconds like you’d die without him. 

Selfishly, he wished he was with you the second he saw those messages, knowing that was the exact state you were in. He glanced around at his friends, a small pang of guilt working through him before he promised himself he would make it up to them. 

grumps: come home, i’m waiting for you

He slid his phone into his pocket, clapping his hands against the table to catch the other drivers’ attention before he gave them a sheepish smile. Lando was the first one to pick up on the meaning behind his expression. 

“Seriously?” The Brit whined. “We just got here!”

Daniel shrugged. “The missus gets what the missus wants.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes. “Is it what she wants or what you want?” 

“Listen, when you have a super hot girlfriend waiting for you, you’ll understand,” Daniel simply stated, ignoring the way a few of the boys opened their mouths to reply before he quickly made his way towards the exit.

He was home before you, which was unsurprising considering the club he was at was a walking distance from your shared apartment. The second he had made it through the door, he made his way into the kitchen to slide a pizza into the oven that would be done by the time you arrived home, though he decided against the glasses of wine he was about to pour. 

Daniel made a beeline towards the door the second he heard the lock clicking, a grin already on his face before you all but threw yourself against him. He laughed, sliding his arms around your body and lifting you off your feet as he hugged you close. 

“I missed you,” you mumbled against his chest before nuzzling yourself closer. “You smell nice.”

“Thanks, Sunshine,” he murmured with a grin, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head. “I missed you too.”

“Next time you’re coming with me,” you sighed.

“Or you come with me,” he suggested, laughing slightly when you lifted your head.

“My friends are more fun,” you said to him, glaring slightly when you noticed him struggling to hold back his amusement.

“Nah, you’re just still pissy that Max beat you at the shotgunning contest,” he teased, one arm still wound around your waist to hold you off the floor whilst the other raised to push some hair behind your ear. 

Your eyes narrowed. “He’s a cheat.”

“He won fair and square, baby,” he murmured before leaning down to kiss your lips before you could say anything else. “C’mon, the pizza is almost ready.” 

You sagged against him, the glare long gone and now replaced with a massive grin. “Did I mention that I love you?”

Daniel grinned. “Not nearly enough, Sunshine.”

.

[bringbacktim]

America² part two

It's been a long time coming and I'm so so so sorry for making you guys wait this long , the fanfic writer curse of having the worst luck caught up to me recently. This got wrote in shifts so might not be the same quality throughout. Not edited or proofread. Written whilst I was half asleep most of the time

Word count: 5.5k words

Warnings: smut , unprotected sex (don't do this irl) , face slapping, curse words , use of cock dick pussy etc ,I think that's it

I am so glad this season is over" Oscar said as he had his last bite of food

"Can't wait to just dissappear for winter break" Y/n agreed as logan hummed in agreement

"Are you going back to florida or are you going to do some traveling?" Oscar asked logan

"Yeah are you going to have a fuckboy Winter break like you usually do or did everyone finally realise how awful you are?" Y/n teased

"Haha , I never had any fuckboy winterbreaks but I've heard about how you've been slutted about in past season breaks" logan said only realising after how mean it was and how he shouldn't have said it in such a public setting

"Slutted out? Jesus Sargeant, you almost sound jealous " she laughed knowing she'll definitely get some new dirt on him, already knowing some humiliating kinks he has,when he inevitably either Jack's off on the other side of the hotel wall with his porn way too loudly or when he brings some girl back to the hotel to celebrate the last race of the season

"You wish" he scoffed and rolled his eyes

"Now now children" Oscar said leaning into his role of their mother whenever they insulted each other

"So what are you and lily doing for winter break? Going anywhere nice?"

Y/n asked cutting logan off from his snarky remark

"Hopefully somewhere hot and far away from you two" the Aussie replied getting an "oi" in reply from both of them

"Rude, you love us really" Y/n scoffed

"What like you and logan love each other"

"Yeah! ... wait no " logan said realising Oscar wasn't being nice

"How do they let you drive an f1 car man , they should give you a 5 lap headstart cause is there even a brain up there" she joked knocking on his head and saying "nope hollow" after to which he winced and rubbed his head

"Are you guys coming to the after party?" Oscar asked wanting to party with his friends

"Depends if logan is going" Y/n said

"And how big the place is" logan added

"It's got to fit everyone we work with in so I'd say pretty big, plenty of space to hide from each other or sneak off in a dark corner and do god knows what" he added laughing when their faces contoured in disgust

"Let it go Oscar, we're not gonna fuck before the end of the season, but I will be attending the after party" Y/n said getting her coat and leaving

"God what is her problem?" Logan said watching her walk away ,his eyes definitely didn't graze down to her ass as she angrily stomped away or anything why would you think that .

"Sexual frustration I think" Oscar joked which earned him a punch to the shoulder from the male American who walked off aswell not before calling Oscar a perv

At the hotel they all relaxed for a bit and then started to get slowly ready for the after party. Y/n deciding to blast some fun music not caring about the guy she shared a thin wall with . Obviously a mistake as he came stomping from his room to hers with a scowl on his face as he angrily knocked on her door . Expecting one of her friends she was going to the party with she opened the door in the sports bra and pyjama shorts she put on after her shower discarding her shirt when she heard the knocks

Swinging it open and revealing the last person she ever expected left her with a Shocked expression on her face and an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach about what she was wearing , crossing her arms over her chest to cover the skin there , but that only gave the effect of a push up bra which didn't really help logan trying desperately not to look down there while she complains that he's at her door for literally no reason

"Did you hear me ? I said why are you standing at my door?" She asked snapping her fingers infront of his face

"Oh right, can you turn the music down I can't hear myself think in my room" he said trying to shake the inappropriate thoughts he was having

"Well I cranked the volume up cause you usually jerk it or bring some girl back at this time and I didn't want to hear it, so you're welcome"

"I didn't thank you , and why would I . For creepily knowing when I jerk off ? You probably do it the other side of the wall to me" he accused

"Don't act like oscar didn't tell me about the time you called someone else my name when you came" Y/n said with a smug look

"In my defence i thought you two had the same name"

"I heard her say she her name was valentine, incase you haven't noticed thats nothing like Y/n. Just admit you want us to hate fuck just as much as oscar does"

"Fuck off , just turn the music down" he said walking back to his room *and definitely not thinking of how his hands or dick would feel in between her boobs* god what is with his mind today

It took him longer to get ready than usual thanks to the thoughts he was having , and the bulge in his trousers that wouldn't go down no matter what innocent thought he tried to imagine

He was half dressed in a nice shirt and was trying to put his jeans up his legs before quickly realising the bulge in his boxers was not going to go down and he would have to do something about it

Putting some music on to get him in the mood and so the girl on the other side of the wall that he may or may not be imagining stroking him right now instead of his own hand won't hear his desperate whines

Trying to get this over with so he can go party with his friends , he quickens his pace and starts to slightly flick his wrist in a way that has his head lolling back and leaving him breathless

"Fuck-" he moaned out hoping the music masked it and she wouldn't be able to hear it or the skin against skin

He was delving into his deepest dirtiest fantasies to try for once to bust in under 5 minutes

She was in her room on the other side of the wall being bombarded with questions from Oscar about where logan was, whether he was ready to go or not etc as if she was his babysitter . She tried knocking on his door but got no answer, she knocked on the door that connected the two rooms and again no answer but she could hear music playing so assumed he just couldn't hear her so she opened the door just enough so she could get a peek to make sure he was decent and then was going to knock on the wood

But when she saw him doing the last thing she thought he'd be doing right now , her hand didn't come up to knock on the door as fast as it probably should have, but seeing him head pressed into the pillow eyes closed as his chest heaved with every whine or strangled moan that escaped his mouth the waistband of his boxers down enough to let his cock escape but still keep him covered , his glorious slightly sweaty veiny arms working hard to keep up with the fast pace he had set for himself

Y/n found herself mouth agape stood in his doorway wondering why him moaning was so incredibly hot to her and why her feet were walking closer to the bed

"Y/n" he moaned stopping her in her tracks , especially since his eyes were closed and he definitely wouldn't have heard her walk in due to the music blasting . She wouldn't admit it , but it did make her heart beat a little quicker

She put her palm over her eyes as she turned to music off to make it look like she hadn't been staring , this caused him to sit up quicker than anyone ever has and cover himself with a pillow that was beside him

"Y/n!! What are you doing here?" He asked feeling rather exposed

"Oscar kept asking me about whether you were ready or not and you're door was locked and you didn't hear me knock" she explained palm still firmly over her eyes

"You can take your hand away I'm not doing anything" he said trying to make this less uncomfortable

"Are you sure this isn't a plan to get me to see your dick?" She said trying to fall back into her hating him persona

"Don't act like I didn't feel you staring as you walked in"

"You didn't even know I walked in!" She accused

They hadn't realised Oscar had walked in through the open door until he spoke up

"Nice to see you're ready like I said to be logan" he said scaring both of them

"I'm half way done okay , just let me get my pants on and we can leave"

"Okay do we need to turn around while you put your cock away or what?" Y/n joked half hoping he'd say no

"Woah woah wait , what were you two doing before I walked in ? You were watching him wank weren't you?" Oscar accused the pair infront of him

" Can't believe you'd think so lowly of me , you couldn't pay me to watch that"she said

"Yeah cause you can watch it for free through a crack in my door like the creep you are" logan bit back

"Oh I'm the creep? Who moaned who's name whilst getting off tonight me or you?"

"I mean I didn't hear you getting off but I'd take a chance and say you" he smugly laughed

"There is way too much sexual tension right now and it smells like dick and balls so we'll leave you to get ready and meet us in the hallway" Oscar said before his friends had the chance to fuck infront of him

After they got back to Y/n's room Oscar was bombarding her with questions about logan moaning her name since this wasn't the first time logan had said her name whilst aroused

It was no longer than 10 minutes later when logan met them in the hallway and they were getting in the taxi to go the party

When they got there everyone went their separate ways and found their friends who they would spend most of the night with

Oscar and logan did meet up throughout the night , mostly so Oscar could try and get a confession out of logan not that he ever did , much to Oscar's disappointment . He also spoke to Y/n to see if she would give him any indication that she liked logan romantically but she was nowhere near drunk enough

The party was more boring than they thought it was going to be partly because toto didn't crowd surf that year and partly because neither Y/n nor Logan could stop thinking about what would've happened if Oscar hadn't have walked in . Would she have given him a helping hand , or mouth , would he let her stand and watch him get off to the thought of her , would they do the things he was imagining ? The world may never know what would've happened because of the Australian that bounced in the room

Thanks to the free bar and friends shoving drinks into the sexually frustrated and confused pairs hands the thoughts about each other were kept on the back-burner well atleast until they were both in their hotel rooms one last time before winter break where they could do whatever they wanted while thinking about whoever they wanted

Unfortunately, nothing happened in the club as they couldn't find each other and they had some self respect as to not fuck in the disgusting club bathroom

They thought they were in the clear of not seeing each other until the next season started in three months which meant they could spend that time pretending like they weren't developing feeling for each other , but post season testing slipped both of their minds and they would have to see each other on track one last time that year

They had two days to try and act like they still hated each other , but that was proving difficult as everytime one of them closed their eyes they would relive the scene that happened in his hotel room days before

In post season testing , they let reserve drivers or f2 drivers have the chance to drive an f1 car so logan and Y/n weren't needed until the second half of the day so we're free to watch or just entertain themselves until it was their turn

They mostly stood around in their respective garages going over data or scrolling their phones in their driver rooms

Logan was being hard on himself based on the data from the season and how bad he felt he did , which was a sad sight to see. Y/n was in a similar position as annoyingly enough the Americans finished one after the other in the standings which just gave every reporter and journalist another way to compare the two

Her and oscar did visit the Williams garage so Oscar could try and cheer him up Y/n was only there as she was talking to Oscar as he walked towards the garage , but it was clear he was ticked off and needed to blow off some steam. While Oscar was thinking of how to take his mind off of the had results Y/n was stood daydreaming which didn't really help logan as the last thing he needed was to have her stood infront of her race suit tied around her waist showing her tight fireproofs as she stood there looking pretty . She had to be doing it on purpose he thought

They were meant to be setting up to get logan on track , but George had just crashed his Mercedes and red flagged the session which meant more waiting in the Abu Dhabi sun and the inappropriate thoughts he couldn't get out of his head weren't helping with the heat

What also didn't help was when he saw her get out of her car , ass pushing the limits of her race suit as she gripped the halo , oh how logan wished her fingers were wrapped around something else

When she came and knocked on his driver room door to see if he wanted to go find somewhere to eat while they get the race going again , he thought his head was going to explode from the thoughts he definitely shouldn't be having as he saw her leaning against his door frame asking a polite question that Oscar definitely made her ask . It was the straw that broke the camels back when someone dropped what he assumed was a piece of equipment in the garage making her boobs jiggle as she jumped

He strode over to her as she just looked back confused because he hadn't answered her question but instead pressed a firm kiss to her lips . When he pulled back there was obviously a bewildered look on her face because to kiss her out of the blue is crazy enough but to do it infront of whoever could see them was another level

She pushed him into the room before returning the kiss as his hands slipped to her waist

"What was that for?" She asked not actually caring she thought she'd ask for when Oscar asked her after she told him

"Oscar said I need to let off some steam and I think I've found a perfect way" he laughed as his fingers traced the sliver of skin where her fireproofs separated

"You're so annoying" she whined as he made no move to take any clothing off of her

"Shut it ,we don't have time for foreplay, but you're probably wet enough for me to take you right now" he teased as his fingers trailed down her body and inside the bottom half of what she was wearing as she pulled his clothes over his head and kissed him again tongues fighting

As they made out and stripped , he walked them both to the little sofa in the corner of the room and sat down . As their lips separated she was going ask what position he wanted to do ,but he patted his lap before she could

"Protection?" She asked not fancying getting an sti from the fuckboy of miami

"In my bag , side pocket" he lazily pointed not bothering to get up and get it

As he stroked himself while she went up and got the condom he pinched himself to make sure he wasn't having another dream

When she rolled the condom on and sunk down on him he realised this was better than any dream he'd had because it was actually real

"Fuck" he moaned as he leaned his head back on his hands and watched her ride him hissing as he was almost too big on the way down

"Am I going to do all the work or are you going to help?" She asked trying to catch her breath not bothering to stop moving her hips

He didn't answer and instead just grabbed her hips and gave some rough thrusts before rubbing her clit furiously as she whined in his ear and bit his shoulder to stay quiet as she came on his cock

"Clean yourself up and then you can suck me off before we have to go back to racing" he said knowing there was nothing in his room she could use to clean herself but couldn't bring himself to car

"How charming sargeant" Y/n said in a monotone voice as she pulled her underwear up her legs and just deciding to make a run to the toilet before she gets in the car

"I let you come first , what's more charming than that?" He asked

"Maybe not a half assed fuck before a race" she said getting on her knees infront of the sofa as she took the condom he was wearing off

"Just suck my dick so you can go back to your own drivers room" he said pulling her hair into a makeshift ponytail and dragging her face closer to his cock

She had barely gotten past the head before she could feel her lips stinging from being stretched so wide

"You should see how much of a slut you look like right now" he said forcing her to take more than she ever had before and choked back a gag

When she hollowed her cheeks and took him to the base he swear he was seeing stars , but when she came up for air he wasn't impressed "shit do that again" he said as he slapped her cheek as she looked up at him with those teary eyes that almost made him bust a nut

When she didn't do as he said he slapped her again and again until she obeyed and called her some other derogatory name

"You're drooling all over my fucking lap , you better clean it up after" he said as she let him fuck her mouth as she brought her hand up from its resting place on his thigh to play with his balls

"Not my fault there's no space left in my fucking mouth"

When she moaned around his cock and sent vibrations and tingles up his spine he swore he had never cum so hard or so much but she swallowed every drop

Not much was said between them whilst getting re dressed and trying to make it look like they weren't just fucking . Thankfully the engineers had very loud tools and music playing in the garage

Post season testing went better than expected as both Americans made their way into the top 10 . When Oscar congfatulated both of them they were standing further apart than they usually were and weren't making eye contact , but he assumed they just had another pointless argument

Logan and Y/n spent alot of that night trying to decide whether that was a mistake or whether they wanted to do it again . Y/n made it clear that she wouldn't be just another one of his girls and that he would have to commit to her even if they were just friends with benefits

Logan had been invited on a lads holiday with a few of his friends from back home and oscar , which took up alot of the winter break and meant he had alot of time to think about Y/n and how he wanted their relationship to pan out. He saw alot of couples on this trip and his feeling for her were definitely growing . He liked all the sex they had but also loved the domestic stuff like hearing her talk about her day over the phone or her asking his opinion on what outfit she should wear

Over a very horny facetime call Y/n had mentioned the idea of flying to wherever he was and just fuck until they had made up for all of the lost time

It was a good idea in theory , but trying to book a flight close to Christmas was just as hard as you'd imagine , but that gave logan time to plan how he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend

They had video called every night for the next few weeks until she was flying to wherever he was in the world and they couldn't wait. He was going to just ask her when he met her at the airport as he knew she didn't like big gestures. He just hoped she felt the same

"Logie" she exclaimed as she practically ran towards him hugging him when she met his eyes in the crowd of people

"Don't tell Oscar I borrowed the rental car for this" he laughed as he kissed her temple because her face was hidden in his chest as they continued hugging

"I wouldn't get my boyfriend in trouble on his lads holiday now would I? I'd be a terrible girlfriend if I did" she laughed as he looked at her mouth agape

"You talk in you're sleep , i think it's cute how much detail you put into this" she said as they walked out of the very small airport which she was thankful for as they weren't being mobbed by fans for once

When they got to the hotel the sweet cute couple effect had worn off and they just wanted to well and truly fuck . Logans friends had unfortunately booked an activity for them that he had no idea about so had to leave her all alone is his hotel room no matter how dirty the things she would whisper in his ear in hopes he would stay were

He did manage to leave early as he faked some illness

"Logan?" Y/n questioned as his door unlocked

"Y/n" he said eyes softening as he looked at her laying all comfy on the sofa wearing his clothes

"You took sooo and I couldn't find any WiFi password or the TV remote so I couldn't even watch any porn while you were gone" she said sadly as he sat next to her

"I got back as soon as I could , none of them wanted to let me come back here" he said leaning in and kissing her with such passion

"Don't try and butter me up sargeant , I've been horny for hours thanks to you" she said putting her hands on his shoulders and making sure he knew he was to blame

"If you want some angry sex all you had to do was ask baby" he said leading her to the bedroom

"Fuck me like you're mad at me then " she laughed as she almost tripped over both of their feet

"I saw your burner account comment that on my Instagram by the way" he called her out as he fell back on to the bed and she made her way onto his lap

"Theres no proof that it's me" she said laughing as she ground on his lap

"I just have a feeling" he said his hands coming up to hold her hips

"I just love how riled up you get, you really give it to me"

"So are you going to suck my dick like you're mad at it or are we skipping foreplay" he asked not knowing how much more friction and pressure he could take as she moaned almost angelically in his ear

"Surely you'd be compensating me for making me wait?" She said giving him the eyes

He didn't need to be told twice, laying her down on the bed as he kissed his way down her body as she tried to rid them both of atleast their shirts so she could feel some skin against skin

After he had pulled her sweatpants down her ankles too impatient to take them all the way off and let her kick them off while he rubbed her slit and clit through her underwear enough to make her gasp and her him to just take them off , he pushed them to the side while gathering some slick so he could easily push 2 fingers in just to make her moan at the unexpectedness of two at once and cause he still wanted to tease her with no preparation but going from how wet she was she had definitely either been thinking inappropriately the entire time she was waiting or got off atleast once already

"This all for me?" He asked knowing it was but loved to see her get embarrassed at how wet the thought of him got her

"Shut up" she said very lightly pushing his head as she couldn't reach his shoulder in retaliation before hiding her face in her hands

"Don't worry I think it's hot how much you love the thought of me" he said pinching her clit before replacing his fingers with his tongue while his hand went up to cup her breast over her bra

"If you don't hurry up and make me cum I'm going to knock on someone else's hotel door and see if they'll be able to" she said trying not to break character which is easier said than done when logan sargeant is eating you out as an apology

"Oh fuck don't stop" she threw her head back and kept his hand in place that had made its way into the cup of her bra and was toying with her nipple

"You're all mouth Y/l/n" he laughed as he came up for air face glistening in the lamp light

It only took logan no more than 4 more minutes of the combination of rolling her clit in one of his hands while the other toyed with her nipple and his tongue rapidly ate her out not caring about how much noise the pair were making

"Am I forgiven?" He laughed not bothering to wipe the evidence off of his mouth

"Only if you dick me down in the next 30 seconds" she breathlessly laughed as she pulled him into a sloppy kiss full of teeth and gums not caring about the taste of herself on his tongue or lips

She held his face in her hands as they continued to make out while he made quick of getting his trousers and boxers down his legs and stroking himself quickly before asking if they needed to use any protection as he couldn't remember if he had any left

"Just pull out or pay for a plan b tomorrow" she said putting her faith in his reaction speed

"So all I had to was ask you to be my girlfriend and I'm allowed to hit it raw?" Logan said eyes wide imagining all the times he wished he could go raw

He lined himself up and pushed in slowly while he watched her arms sling around his shoulders as her head lolled back and her back arched as she moaned

When he bottomed out and thought how he'd never get used to how snug her walls were around him his mouth agape as he realised how hard it would be and how much mental strength it would take him to not cum inside her . Especially when she raised her head to look at him and she looked in such a state of bliss as she bit her bottom lip as to not let a moan out from him just being inside her

"God please move" she begged as she tried to get closer to him by putting her legs over his shoulders to gain any friction or just anything but was met with no avail

And who was he to deny her that pleasure , his hips snapping into hers with such force he thanked God that he headboard wasn't near a wall because it would be making a rukus for the person on the other side

He let her lay there eyes closed and head back for a solid three minutes before he stopped thrusting in and had only the tip in which made her look up to figure out why he stopped, not before he cupped the back of her head and forced it to look down to where their bodies met

"You wanted me to fuck you so badly that you flew all the way here and yet you don't have the decency to watch what you begged me for" he scoffed as he resumed thrusting his grip not faltering on her head to make sure she was watching what he was doing

Oh how they hoped no one was around to hear any of this

For the remaining days that they were both staying at the same resort they fucked like rabbits and on evert surface you could imagine , having to have condoms delivered to their hotel rooms as they couldn't stay away from each other for long enough to go buy some

Unfortunately for them , there had been a room switch as two of the boys they were there with had gotten in an argument and didn't want to share a room anymore so polite Oscar swapped and had a room the other side of logans wall , where he heard alot of the facetime calls he had late at night to god knows who and when he was fucking who he thought was some random girl he picked up from the island they were on . He chose not to say anything until he heard room service deliver something to Logans room next door and heard Y/ns voice answer the door and thank the person giving them the food which made him swing the door open and knock on the door ready to demand answers

"Where is she?" Oscar asked

"Who?" Logan replied

"The girl who answered the door two seconds ago"

"Why"

"Because she sounded exactly like Y/n who I told you countless time you'd hate fuck , so where is she?" He said not bothering to beat around the Bush

He had no excuse to get himself out of this one so just pointed in the direction of the bathroom" Don't tell her you heard us she'd be so embarrassed"

Oscar strode over to the bathroom and knocked . No longer than a second later Y/n opened the door sheepishly knowing she'd been caught

"How long have you guys been hiding this from me?"

"Not long , we only became official today,but-"

"How long have you been fucking" he asked not sure if it was an appropriate topic

Y/n looked to logan to see if she could actually tell him how long it'd been . With the nod of his head she mentally tried to remember the first time " post season testing" she said

"Wait, is that why they couldn't find you guys that day?"

"Didn't know they were looking , but yeah I guess"

" I have alot of people to collect bet money from , have you announced anything yet or are you keeping it a secret?" He asked wanting to know when he would get his cash flow

"Were not sure yet , probably going to give it a few months before telling people"

"Thats fair , how long is Y/n staying with you then?"

"I've got like 3 days left before I go back to America and hopefully catch up on a year's worth of sleep" she laughed

"Based from what I've heard from the other side of that wall , you definitely aren't getting any sleep here" he laughed

"Oscar!" She said slapping his chest in embarrassment

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

HI NO WAY YOU'RE AUSTRALIAN FUCK YEAAAHHHH ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

(ps. AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE)

OI OI OI

[delusional-dinosaurr]

God, Just Kiss Me Already! (Leah Williamson x Reader)

"Oi Y/N! Quit your staring and pass!" Katie McCabe yells at you, snapping you out of your trance. You do as you're told and pass her the ball.

You've been playing for Arsenal for 6 months now and you love it. You've bonded well with the team but already you've already started crushing on a team mate, Leah. She took you under her wing when you first joined the team, as a midfielder you and her trained a lot together defensively which was great for you. Not so great for your ever-growing crush on her as you were forced to be up close with her most of the time.

"When are you gonna make a move kiddo?" Katie asks whilst grabbing your shoulders, following your gaze to Leah who is doing some drills with the others. "I'm not going to, we both need to focus on football. Plus she's way out of my league McCabe! Like look at her, she's beautiful, a captain, funny, great music taste, she's got every person in England dribbling over her since the euros and I don't blame them! She needs to stop being so distracting" You rambled whilst Katie sighs at you going off on a tangent as per usual. You sit down on the floor on the side-lines and put your knees up and your head in between them. What you didn’t expect is a different voice to chime in on the situation instead of Katie. "Who needs to stop being so distracting?" You heard the muffled Aussie accent of Steph as your knees were blocking your ears. "Leah fucking Williamson, that's who needs to stop being so distracting" You sigh and tuck further into your knees. "How am I distracting Y/N?" You then recognised a different voice, a sultry tone, which is definitely Leah's. "Ah Steph, Jonas asked for us to go meet him! We will leave you guys to it!" Katie whisks Steph away leaving you alone with Leah at the edge of the training pitch. You shook your head at Katie's attempt to leave you alone with Leah "Now that dumb and dumber have left us alone, how am I distracting?" She asks. You know it's now or never, you could confess, or bottle it up forever. You take in a deep breath to calm your nerves. "I just... Feelings" You blurted out hanging your head down. "If it helps, I like you Y/N, and I do also find you very distracting" Leah says quietly whilst cupping your face. "I really like you, to the point you're all I can think about" You sigh. Leah smiles in response to your confession and hugs you.

She places a delicate kiss on your cheek as she leans away from your hug, causing you to instantly glow red. "Wanna come over tonight? We can order some food and talk over all of this" She smiles at you, you instantly nodded and smile back.

━━━━━

Jonas is calling you all back over to call and end to training. You feel more confident already after your talk with Leah that you jog over with a big smile on your face. As training ends you all return back to the locker room to get changed into casual clothing. As you lift your training shirt you can't help but notice Leah watching you from afar, you send a wink her way and now it's her turn to blush. Just to wind her up a bit you stay in your sports bra and joggers as you're still fairly warm from all the running around. You walk over to Katie and Leah as you're ready to leave and you had promised to give them a lift home. "Y/LN! Put a shirt on will you, you're gonna kill skipper" Katie chuckles whilst nudging Leah who's blushing even harder. "I can't find my shirt so unfortunately no can do!" You grin looking at Leah. Katie throws you a shirt to put on, Leah internally thanking Katie for it. You put on the shirt to realise it's got Williamson written on the back. Leah goes wide eyed when she spots the shirt "Can we go now? I'm really tired" you agree and give her and Katie a lift home. 

━━━━━

Leah still invites you in after the agreement to talk earlier, you were nervous yet excited to talk about what you and Leah are. As you walk into her house and take it all in, she's very neat and the house has a warm feel to it. "So uh, how'd you like my shirt? Think the name looks good on me?" you grin at her as you sit down on the sofa, knowing now what this talk is going to be about. You might as well tease her for a bit of entertainment. "You're very cheeky.. You know that Y/LN?" She says, giving you a knowing look. "I have no idea what you're talking about" You say as you lean in closer to her, your faces an inch away. You gaze down at her lips and feel your breath catch in your throat. "God, just kiss me already!" Leah says impatiently as you lean in and kiss her. Your stomach is doing flips, you feel butterflies in your chest, you feel all tingly as a result of finally kissing Leah. "Hey Leah I think I left my-" Beth walks in from the other room, you forgot they were housemates whilst she and Viv were house hunting "Woah never mind, I'll catch you lovebirds later! McCabe is gonna love this!" She sings whilst she jogs out the room. "So uh, where were we?" You smile whilst leaning in again, connecting your lips for that same feeling as before. You end the night in Leah's bed, nothing inappropriate of course, just some kissing and cuddling, discussing where you will go for your first date. You finally feel complete knowing that you both feel the same about each other, and you can't wait for your first date with Leah.

━━━━━

Sorry it’s been so long since my Alessia post! I’m still working on a pt.2! I’m think of an Alexia or Ona fic next? Feel free to request or throw me some inspiration! <3

[cloudninetonine]

I think one of my favourite headcanons that me and my gf share is the idea that both Hyrule and Legend have Australian accents instead of the British and Irish accents I said

Because like, the Downfall is kind of the abandoned right? Abandoned by the Goddess because Ganondorf basically took over and around every corner there's conflict and monsters- just like Australia (please don't come for me Aussies my GF is Australian and she suggested this first)

Also Legend just going "I didn’t come here to fuck spiders." or Hyrule going "Oi, cunt." makes me giggle

[random-imagines-blog]

Imagine being an Avengers’ cast member, known for swearing a lot.

You finally came into the backstage area, having been running late because of traffic, wiping a little sweat off of your forehead. You were about to say hi to everyone when you noticed that they were all gathered around Scarlett, watching a video on her phone, all of your castmates looking absolute enthralled.

“What are you guys doing?” You asked, taking a step closer. That’s when the volume hit you.

“-e ‘illed me with a fucking handgun!” “Oi, fuck u you dropshooting fuck.” “Don’t - don’t - aww shiit, I’ll break yer fuckin’ legs.”

That was your voice alright, and you recognized it. Some of your fans had tendencies to piece together compilations from the gaming videos that you sometimes put up on yuor youtube channel. ‘Y/N Rages’ they were called. People thought it was funny hearing your original aussie accent coming through rather than the more American-ized version you put on for work.

Robert noticed that you were there, and stood up, walked over, put an arm around your shoulders. “I’m starting to think you might have a bit of a problem,” He teased. “They cast you wrong. You and Mark there should switch roles.”

“An Australian hulk,” Chris Hemsworth laughed. “And an Australian Thor! We’ll show them what the down under can really do.”

Requested by: Anonymous

[spideyreid]

Why would you cook them?

I keep seeing those Australian Hunstman spidersonas and I wrote a little drabble about the conflicting British, American and Australian ‘chips’ argument. As an Aussie I love the Australian Huntsman idea, and people from Australia should get this. 

Just a little drabble about an Australian Spidersona with Hobie,  Miles and Gwen arguing chips.

Can be read as a Hobie x reader, or platonic, can be read as any gender 

Warnings: Swearing lmao but spidesona is Australian guys, tiny dig at American healthcare, first fic

“I swear Miguel’s actual mission is to kill us,” you hear Miles groan. The latest mission had been rounding up a scorpion anomaly, whose stinger somehow multiplied when it was cut off. After dropping it at HQ, the battered and bruised group decided to crash in your universe.

“Correction, try to kill you,” you laughed, which earned you a pointed look from Gwen. Hobie smirked, slapping Miles on the back. “Aye, probably cause you missed his last lecture mate.”

Gwen rolls her eyes. “No, that was you Hobie, you missed his last lecture.”

“Nah, ya trippin Gwendy, why would I miss the boss’s twenty minute screamin match about ‘HQ mandatory cleaning regulations,” he responds, leaning back in his chair. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, as you recall ranting to him about that lecture yesterday. 

Since being bitten by a radioactive spider a year and a half ago, you had been Sydney’s one and only Huntsman, and a part of the spider society. A year and a half of fighting villains, anomalies, maggies and eshays. You enjoyed your life as Sydney’s huntsman, your average broke yr 12 (public school not private because you ain’t one of those snobby rich cunts, you literally live in Bankstown be fr) by day, before swinging over to Maccas for a quick frozen coke and being an eshay fighting official sick cunt by night.

Hobie jumped out of his chair with a grin on his face making his way over to where you stand in the kitchen. He leans against the sink, arms folded. “Oi love, where you keep ya food?”

You hummed pointing up to a cupboard, “Should be Chips up there.” 

“Chips?” He asks, not quite sure if he heard you.

“Nah fucking potatoes, yes chips you dickhead.” You scoff. 

“Means ya gonna cook em then.” Hobie sighs, and looks down from the cupboard. He is met with your horrified face. Your jaw drops and he realised he’s fucked up somehow judging by the furious look in your eye.

“WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING COOK THEM?” you yell dumbfounded. Your outburst caught the attention of the rest of your friends which made them come running. 

“What’s going on?”

“Oi, y/n eats chips raw mate, like I have to draw the line there that’s pretty fucked.”

Gwen raises her eyebrows before sharing a look with Miles. “Why would you cook chips?” Hobie looks at Gwen unimpressed.

“Thank you, yes, god, yeah you cook chips but you don’t cook those chips.”

“Wait what chips do you cook y/n?” Miles asks, confused.

“Y’know, um…. the long ones?” Hobie and Gwen smirk, and you roll your eyes. “Fuck off, I mean the potato ones, I can’t explain them just y’know.” 

Gwen pinches her nose. “I’m confused.”

Miles looks between all of you. “Me too.”

Sighing you push past Hobie barely avoiding the leg he sticks out and opening the cupboard. Down you pull a packet of Smiths original chips, and place it on the bench. “There, chips.”

A loud laugh pierces the air, surprising you, Miles and Gwen. Hobie was howling with laughter, tears in his eyes. You stood there not knowing how to react. He crossed his arms over his stomach in an attempt to catch his breath and wipes his eyes. 

“Oi y/n mate, they’re crisps,” he chuckles.

“What the fuck are crisps?” You snap.

“Those are crisps.”

Gwen quickly butts in, “She’s right Hobie they’re chips.” Miles nods in agreement.

He shakes his head, “Nah chips are the one ya cook.”

“Oh, no that’s French fries,” Gwen responds in realisation.

You question Gwen, “Like the chips you get at Maccas?” 

“Maccas? Yeah, but we call them Fries or French fries.” 

You cross your arms and grin. “They’re not even French.”

Hobie nods in agreement, before turning to you. “So you call Chips like the fried ones, ‘chips‘ and crisps ‘chips’ as well?” 

“Well yeah but y’know the difference depending on the scenario like why would I keep chips in the cupboard?”

Miles pick up the packet, before questioning you as well. “So y/n you call fries ‘chips’ and chips the same?”

“Yes Miles,” stealing the bag from him and opening the packet. 

“Ya Aussies are weird,” Gwen says while taking a chip from the packet. A ring clad hand is shoved into the packet and takes a handful, while a web from his free hand takes the packet. Before you can respond to the two Americans with some comment about having free healthcare involving lots of bad words, Hobie nudges you with his arm. “Glad we cleared that up love, cause I couldn’t hang with someone with shit food choices,” he snickers, shoving his mouth with food.

You huff, grabbing the packet again. “Shut the fuck up, your name is literally Hobart.”

[blubushie]

im gonna be real with you i do NOT know what vegemite is what is that

On a literal level, it's yeast extract.

Remember how I said Aussies love beer? In order to make beer you need yeast. It's a whole bloody process, but the gist is that when you're done brewing the beer, you get a bunch of leftover yeast. This is normally completely useless, but in 1902 a German bloke named Justus von Liebig came up with the bright idea of "Wait, instead of wasting the yeast, why don't we just eat it?"

"That's a stupid idea because it tastes terrible and no one would eat it," everyone said, but von Liebig wouldn't be deterred! So he slapped some spices in there for flavouring and bam, edible yet still disgusting yeast extract.

The poms liked this idea and as poms are wont to do, they stole it. Branded it Marmite, and shipped it out to Commonwealth countries around the world.

That worked out all fine and dandy until WWI hit and the poms suddenly found themselves in desperate need to conserve this wonderful (ech) source of Vitamin B. They saved it for the troops only. Most of the breweries were shut down in the war and converted into munitions productions and depots, so for a time Marmite was merely a ghost of the past for civilians.

Until the Aussies came along.

"Oi!" some bloke said to some other bloke, "It's been a year since the war ended. Where's our fuckin' Marmite?" But alas, his longing went unanswered.

So he said fuck all that noise and decided "Well, fuck the poms, we'll make the shit ourselves!"

So they did. Fred Walker, (a M*lburnian, ech) decided to hire a bloke called Cyril Callister to figure out how the fuck the poms made Marmite, and instead make something even better.

And, as Aussies love our beer, he turned to Calton & United Brewery, who happens to be the brewery WHAT MAKES VICTORIA BITTER. (It's a conspiracy, do you understand?) They also make Foster's, but we don't discuss fucking FOSTER'S on this blog.

So he took yeast extract, mixed it with TOO MUCH FUCKING SALT, added some celery and onion extract, and bam: breakfast tar! Then he gave his daughter--WHO WAS NAMED SHEILAH--the job of naming the new, better Marmite. And she went "Well, there's veggies in there, innit?" And he just nodded. "Call it vegemite."

AND SO VEGEMITE WAS BORN.

It hit the market in 1923, immediately failed, and in 1928 went under a rebrand of "Parwill" ("Because if Marmite [ma might] then Parwill [pa will]) and this didn't last long--it was changed back to Vegemite in 1935.

In 1925 Fred Walker helped found Kraft, an American company (Kraft cheese, anyone?) So Walker used Kraft's newfound success to promote Vegemite. This... actually worked, surprisingly. In 1939 the British Medical Association officially backed Vegemite as a great source of Vitamin B, and when WWII hit, it was included in civilian rations across the country. By the late 1940s, Vegemite was found in 9/10 Australian homes.

And it stuck. Its billionth jar was sold in 2008, and in 1984 it was the first-ever product to be electronically scanned in an Australian checkout.

We're all happy little Vegemites!

[kabbal]

et aussi 29 pour tes blorbos de cod ^^

29 - In relief

Soap finds him in the rubble, not too far from the place he’d seen him fall. Worry made him fast, jumping down his vantage point right into the fray, even with bullets still flying in the air.

Ghost’s a smart fucker, not that anyone ever doubted it. He’s pulled himself against a piece of wall, shielding his injured side. The fall and crawl have coated him in dust, so much that he looks as pale as the name he’s chosen for himself. He points his weapon at Soap when he hears him, before his arms slackens as awareness steps in.

“Not dead yet,” he croaks. “Go back to your position or you won’t be so lucky, sergeant.”

Soap waves him off, kneeling right next to him, on the side Ghost’s trying to hide. “Gaz has me covered.” Or so he supposes. Gaz is reliable, he’ll pull it off.

Ghost most probably knows Soap’s talking out of his arse, but he lets it slide. Because of the pain or because Soap is God’s favourite soldier, that remains to be determined. Seeing how weakly he’s trying to bat away Soap’s hand, the former’s more likely.

“Lemme look, come on, ye bastard.” He pats down the dusty kit, getting his fingers almost bitten off in the process. “Oi! The quicker I assess ye, the quicker I’m gone! Don’t be a bitch when I worry about ye!”

Ghost coughs. “I’m good.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“I’m good. Looks nastier than it is, I swear down.”

“Why the blood, then?”

“Not mine, obviously. You should know better at this point, Johnny.”

And worst of all, the fucker might be right. Soap can’t feel any wound under his palms, and Ghost’s been talking clearer and clearer as the seconds pass. It would be exactly like Ghost, to get gunned down and walk off with only a graze. Fucking typical.

“Good. Thank god.” Soap makes a point to wipe his dusty hands on Ghost’s thigh, just to be a bitch, and he probably would have done worse if it weren’t for Ghost lifting up his mask and coughing up what seems to be a shovelful of dirt. It’s gross, and what’s even more gross is Soap’s fucked-up mind playing dirty tricks on him and pushing him towards that mouth to taste that breath for himself.

Kissing him is like sticking his tongue to a piece of drywall – his lips are torched up, hard and thinned out. Soap can taste the blood spilling out of them, a million tiny wounds under caked-up dust, opening and fluttering under his tongue.

It should say something, that there’s hurting even in their loving. That even relief tastes like iron, when they meet each other in this way.

It says so much more that Ghost opens up under him like he’s water and sky, drinking in the saliva and blood until Soap too feels dry in the mouth. They have to stop for Ghost to cough some more but then they’re at it again, dry lips upon dry lips, getting drunk on relief and adrenaline.

In the end, Ghost pushes him back. His lips are screaming red. “You’ll make it up to Gaz for making him pick up your slack, sergeant. Now go, back to your position.”

“Yes sir,” Soap says. He does almost kick the bastard as he goes.

[mammon-money-maker]

Oi. You fuckin bitch. I got you a snag from Bunnings. An Aussie de-light!

💵Oh fuck yeah! Thanks mate!💵

💵I’m not paying for this.💵

[[Mod knows nothing about Australian culture, and has to trust you on this one👍]]

[theemporium]

[REQUESTS OPEN]

happy birthday to @upsidedownwithsteve​!! this is a day late but we are gonna avoid that. enjoy some good ol’ danny ric smoot :) and we are gonna just pretend these are characters in drive to survive rather than real people💀ANYWAYS ENJOY!!

[6.7k] or, in which you and daniel have always hated each other. but maybe that’s just an excuse to avoid how you really feel about each other. (smut)

.

Daniel Ricciardo knew he was hot shit. 

He was young. He was successful. He was loving life and his life just so happened to be his dream. 

F1 Driver for Red Bull Racing. 

Daniel Ricciardo was one of those faces that everybody knew at the paddock. He was fun and playful and had a smile so wide, it was infectious. He was sunshine personified, the human embodiment of positivity and truly it was hard to not get along with the Aussie. 

Except when it came to you. 

And it drove Daniel mad. 

Daniel couldn’t even remember the first time you met, or even when the moment clicked that neither of you liked the other. It was just the way it had always been and everyone in the paddock knew that. The drivers knew it, the mechanics knew it, even the journalists knew it. 

You and Daniel Ricciardo did not get along. 

It was just a shame that you seemed to be best friends with everyone else on the grid except him. And maybe that was what pissed him off, maybe that was what made his jaw clench a little whenever he saw you laughing and walking down the pit lane with some of the other drivers. 

Or maybe, deep down, Daniel was jealous. 

He was fucking jealous he was not getting your attention, and he hated that when he did, all he got with snarky remarks and harsh glares. He didn’t get sweet, sunshine smiles or soft, lingering touches. He got the rough exterior, he got the six-foot walls you guarded yourself with and yet, despite everything, a part of him still wanted you.

It was inconceivably stupid but he couldn’t change it. 

“Oi, practice starts in fifteen, get to the garage!” 

“Alright, just coming!” 

Headphones slipped over his ears and music pumping through, Daniel made his way towards the garages ahead of the first practice of the weekend. It was a new season, he was feeling good and testing had been brilliant for the team, for both him and Max. He was on a high, with his race suit tied around his waist and his fingers aimlessly tapping along surfaces as he passed, there was little that could damper his mood. 

Until he saw you walking towards the McLaren garage, which was unfortunately situated beside the Red Bull garage, animatedly chatting away to Lando Norris with a wide smile on your face. 

It wasn’t an unusual sight nor was it shocking, but that did nothing to fuel the bitter feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

You worked for McLaren, starting a couple of years ago. You were a good friend of Lando Norris, having known him before you ever stepped foot into the world of motorsport. Talented and impressionable, it didn’t take long for the team at McLaren to snatch you up when they could. With a camera in your hands, you were a powerful force. 

He had worked with you in his two unfortunate years at McLaren. He had seen what you were like with the people you worked with, he saw how much of a team player you were. It was just a courtesy that was never extended to him. 

Even after he left, all you could offer him was a strained smile and a wish of good luck in his new team. 

And yet, there you were laughing away at something the Brit said like it was the funniest thing you had ever heard. 

Daniel wasn’t bitter, not at all. 

“Danny Ric!” A familiar voice called out and it was hard to bite back the smile growing on his face. 

“Lil Norris!” 

He didn’t have much time before the younger driver was speeding towards him, his laugh already echoing through the paddock and the cameras around them picking up on the wholesome moment shared between the former teammates. But Daniel’s eyes were focused over Lando’s head, where you stood a few feet away now entranced by something on your phone instead of them. 

“Not gonna even say hi, sunshine?” Daniel called out because maybe he was in fact a little shit, and maybe he enjoyed pushing your buttons too. 

“Hi, Ricciardo,” you replied bluntly, with no hint of amusement or interest in your voice.

Lando only snickered in response. 

“Thought the new season would brighten you up a little,” he continued. Some would argue Daniel didn’t really learn his lesson, nor did he know when to stop. But he knew exactly what he was doing. He was just playing the game, just as you were. He just wanted to make sure he ended up on top. 

“You thought wrong,” you retorted and this time you lifted your head from your phone screen, sarcasm dripping from your words even when you flashed him a pretty smile. “But I guess that’s not unusual for you, is it, sunshine?”

Daniel’s eyes narrowed on you. 

“It’s like nothing’s changed,” Lando remarked, staring between the two of you with an amused smile. He had gotten fairly used to this behaviour when Daniel was in McLaren, it was no surprise that it continued after he left. 

You only rolled your eyes before focusing on the younger driver. “C’mon, I wanna take some photos before practice.” 

“Trying to run away from me?” Daniel teased, prodding and poking because he just wanted a reaction—no, he needed a reaction from you. 

“Always,” you stated bluntly as you tried to move past him, letting Lando catch up with you on his own time, but the Australian driver was quick to step in front of you.

He knew you couldn’t create a scene with all the cameras and journalists around you, and you knew that too. But that didn’t hide the irritation that flashed across your face as you tried to side step him, only for him to repeat the action. 

“Are you done yet?” you retorted, hating the way your eyes lingered on his smile for a little too long. 

“Hm, not yet,” he murmured as he glanced down at you, having a good few inches on you. He wasn’t even shy about his wandering eyes, the glint of mischief that could always be linked with Daniel Ricciardo. But being on the receiving end of said look made you shudder—whether it was in disgust or something deeper you didn’t wish to admit, that was a whole other story. “I’m enjoying the view.” 

“Fuck you,” you sneered, nose scrunched up in annoyance as you shrugged the strap of your camera bag further up your shoulder. 

“Begging now, are we, sunshine?” Daniel quipped back, a wide grin spread across his face and you hated how attractive he looked. 

“Asshole,” you grumbled as you finally pushed past him, not even glancing back at the cocky driver or to see if the young Brit was following you. Your gaze was focused ahead on the papaya garage that was about thirty seconds away from where you were standing. 

“You know, this whole thing you’ve got going on with her is cute and all, but it would just be easier to tell her you like her.” 

Lando’s voice broke him out of his trance, his head snapping away from your retreating figure and instead turning towards his friend. It was always easy to get along with Lando, they were similar in so many manners and, in some ways over the two years they spent together, he had become like a little brother to Daniel. A younger version of himself even. He adored it most of the time. 

But right now, he couldn’t help but scoff at the teasing, little shit Lando was. 

“I don’t like her,” Daniel denied adamantly, squaring his shoulders back as he said so. 

“You sure about that?” Lando snapped back, eyebrows raised in questioning. “Because you seem to flirt a whole lot with someone you supposedly don’t like.” 

Daniel shook his head. “I just like messing with her, she’s easy to wind up.” 

“So is Jimmy from engineering but you never fucked with him this much,” Lando said, snickering a little as he slapped his friend on the back a few times. “You’ve got the hots for her, admit it.” 

“The hots?” Daniel’s nose scrunched up a little. “What are you? An eighties rom-com or something?” 

“Stop denying it.” 

“I’m denying fuck all,” Daniel said with an exasperated sigh. “I don’t like her. At all.” 

Because he didn’t. 

Was he attracted to you? Yes, the boy wasn’t fucking blind. 

But he didn’t like you. He never has over the years and he never will. He just liked messing with you, playing the game only the two of you seemed to know. That’s all it was, Lando just needed to stop reading into it so much. 

“You know that saying about little boys pulling on a girls’ pigtails to get attention?” Lando asked as he started to take a few steps back, knowing he only had a couple of minutes before he was meant to get into the car. 

Daniel frowned. “Yeah?” 

“You’re pulling on the pigtails, Danny, but that’s all you’re doing,” Lando grinned at his friend. “It’s only a matter of time before she kicks you to the side and chooses someone who can actually admit how they feel.” 

He hated the way the young driver’s words stuck in his head. 

.

As much as Daniel tried, Lando’s words never really left him and they were starting to get on his nerves. 

The season had fully kicked off, Daniel had a brilliant start with ending up in the top five for every race so far and yet, he couldn’t even fully enjoy it with Lando’s knowing glances and smug smiles hovering around every corner. 

And every time he saw you, it was like he was suddenly hyper aware of everything and anything around him, he was picking up on stuff he never usually cared about and it was getting to him, slowly but surely. 

Australia was the first bump in the road. 

It was a Thursday—media day. Everything was just kicking off, the sun was shining and the crowd were as loud and vibrant as they always were for the Australian driver. He was in a good mood, it was hard for him to feel down in his home country with so many adoring fans supporting him through every minute of the weekend. 

He had made it into the paddock, a big smile on his face and a laugh that seemed infectious to those around him. 

And then he saw it.

He didn’t recognise the man, but he saw the Ferrari logo on his shirt and he knew that fire red shirt could belong to no other team. He watched as the man smiled at you, how your attention was never drawn away from him. He saw how the man placed a hand on the small of your back as you made your way towards the motorhomes, how you didn’t even glance in his direction as you followed the Ferrari man and chatted idly away to him.

Daniel felt something quite like bitterness settling into the pit of his stomach. 

It was quickly followed by the Imola Grand Prix over two weeks later. 

It wasn’t unusual for drivers to grab breakfast together, or any other meals, especially since most of them stayed in the same hotel for the race weekends. And knowing that they would have to get up early to get to the paddock for a long day, the drivers and team members alike usually took over the hotel restaurant in the mornings. 

Today was no different. 

Daniel had made his way down to the restaurant for breakfast, feeling a little more sluggish than usual after a less-than-adequate sleep. He was restless and on edge, and he didn’t quite know why. But a meal shared with his friends was something he needed right now, and it was why he gave his usual greetings but made a beeline towards one of the tables hidden away in the corner where Max and Lando were sat. 

“You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.” 

Daniel shot the Dutchman a look. “Thanks. Just what a guy wants to hear in the morning.” 

“Someone’s grumpy,” Lando muttered from beside him, stabbing into the fruit bowl that he was undoubtedly forced to eat on race weekends as a part of his breakfast.

“Just had a shit sleep,” Daniel mumbled under his breath as he flashed the waitress a polite but strained smile as she placed his plate before him. “That’s all.” 

And yet somehow, like it was some fucking cheesy movie scene, he heard your laugh and it felt almost instinctive for his head to snap in the direction of the sound. 

It was easy to spot your bright orange shirt in the sea of red. You were sitting amongst a large group of Ferrari team members, laughing away and looking like you were friends sharing a meal rather than rivalling teams in a competitive sport. Daniel noted Charles and Carlos at the table and a few other faces he recognised, but the one that stood out like a sore thumb was the Ferrari man at your side that he saw you with in Australia. 

“Yeah,” Max scoffed from across the table. “Just a shit sleep.” 

Daniel didn’t even respond to him. “Since when is she best mates with the Ferrari team?” 

“She always has been,” Lando said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Guess she got to know them when Carlos moved.” 

Daniel’s frown deepened. 

Max’s eyes shone with childish delight. “Oh, you have a crush on her.” 

“I do not!” 

“He so does!” 

Daniel’s eyes narrowed on Lando who only flashed him an innocent grin before he turned back to Max. “I do not have a crush on her. I just think it’s weird.” 

Max looked amused. “Why?” 

“You just don’t see many team members who are friends with so many other rivalling teams,” Daniel stated simply as though it was a fact, as though it was the only reason he felt like he wanted to go back to bed and start the day all over again despite it only being an hour or so since he had woken up. “It’s wrong.” 

“You don’t seem to feel that way when she visits the Red Bull garage,” Max pointed out with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“That’s different.” 

“How?” 

“Do you two ever just…shut up?” Daniel grumbled, eyes lingering on you for a few seconds too long before his eyes shifted down to his food, promptly ignoring the snickers of both drivers beside him. “Fucking youths.” 

“Never thought I’d see the day Daniel Ricciardo got pissy over a crush,” Max commented which only made Lando laugh harder. 

“Zip it, Verstappen.” 

Then it was in Miami. 

It was the night after the race. The air was still warm and thick, the celebrations hadn’t really stopped and Red Bull were on a high with their grand 1-2 finish. The music was bumping so loud that you could hear it from down the street, the club was full of familiar faces and close friends alike. Daniel was riding a high for a season that finally felt like was going good for him–something he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

He almost hated how quickly he noted your absence. 

It wasn’t until a few drinks later that he saw a familiar head of curls bouncing away by the DJ booth. With one hand firmly wrapped around the neck of his beer bottle, Daniel pushed his way through the crowd—smiling as people slapped his back and congratulated him on the win—before he finally made it to the other side of the club. 

He didn’t even pretend with formalities as he leaned closer to his friend, only one thing racking about in his head. 

“Where is she?” 

Lando’s eyebrows furrowed for a second before realisation dawned on him. “Missing your girl, lover boy?” 

Daniel shot him a look. “Where is she?” 

But this time Lando just shrugged, looking a bit sheepish as he replied. “I don’t know, I think she said she was catching dinner with a friend or something.” 

“A friend? Who?” 

The Ferrari man from a few weekends ago popped into his head. It did not settle the bitterness in his stomach. 

“I don’t know, mate,” Lando huffed out, letting out an exasperated sigh. “I didn’t ask because I am not a nosy shit.” The Brit stared at him for a few moments before adding. “You know, you seem to care a whole lot about her when you claim you don’t like her.” 

Daniel scoffed. “Shut up, I was just curious.” 

“You just landed a podium, mate, and instead of celebrating at your own party, you’re moping around,” Lando pointed out as though Daniel wasn’t highly aware of how pathetic it must have seemed from an outside perspective. “I think you should—” 

But Daniel was already disappearing into the crowd before he could finish. 

“Bye Lando!” 

Then Monaco arrived on the season calendar. 

The Monaco Grand Prix was always a big event. It was a historical and prestigious race, it was a fan favourite and it was the race that every driver dreamed of winning, even if they wouldn’t necessarily admit it. He remembered his win in Monaco like it was yesterday, he remembered the thrill and adrenaline pumping through his body as he crossed the line. He remembered it like a dream.

In between the galas and the events and the media duties, Daniel was buzzing to race again that Sunday. And following strong practices and a brilliant qualifying, he felt confident as he got in the car on that sunny Sunday morning. 

Though he may be partially biassed, crossing the line to secure the win for the Monaco Grand Prix for the second time in his life definitely triumphed the first. 

It was his proof, his evidence. It was his massive middle finger to those who said he was washed up and done for, it was his massive middle finger to those who judged him for his return to Red Bull. It was Daniel’s way of proving that he was still here, he was still kicking ass and he didn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. 

With Max on one side and Charles on the other, Daniel let himself stand on the top podium with his arms stretched out and his cheeks hurting with how wide he was smiling. But he didn’t care, he felt like he was on top of the world and he could do anything in that moment. 

And when he stood on the edge of the pool, Max cheering from somewhere behind him with the rest of the Red Bull team, Daniel didn’t think a single thing could make this day better.

So, it was really no surprise when the drivers had dragged him out of his apartment to celebrate his win (not that he needed much convincing). 

And it was no surprise that the majority of the Formula One world were out that night in Monaco, drowning in the luxuries and highs the country had to offer in being such a pinnacle stop on the map for the season.

And it was no fucking surprise that Daniel saw you in the club, dressed in a little black dress that was simple and nothing special, but dear god, it was so different to the bright orange shirt you usually wore that he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.

He was staring. He was well aware he was staring, and the elbow digging into his side courtesy of a certain Dutch driver also told him he was staring. But he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Not after the first drink, not after the second and certainly not after any of the others. 

You sat by the bar, legs crossed over, looking so pretty as you leaned against the counter, lips wrapped around the straw of whatever fruity cocktail you were drinking and your head tilted in faux-interest as you listened to whatever the man beside you was saying. 

“For fuck’s sake, man, just go up to her!” Max yelled from his side, one arm thrown across his shoulder to stop the drunk man from stumbling too much. “You are taking the piss now!” 

“I am not taking advice from you,” Daniel yelled back, but his eyes never left you. “You’re, like, twelve!” 

“Go!” Max said and pointed towards the bar, to where the man leaned closer to you with his hand resting on your knee. “Or he’ll get her first.” 

Daniel had all but ceremoniously pushed the Dutchman to the side as he shoved through the throng of dancing strangers, his eyes focused on the bar. He didn’t think twice about his actions, and maybe if he was two drinks more sober, he would have gone about it a whole different way, but drunk Daniel was his own person with his own mouth and, apparently, his own fucking attitude. 

“Piss off, mate,” he said to the man across from you as he settled into your side, standing beside the stool you sat on with his arm leaning against the counter just behind you. In his drunken haze, he half-managed to identify the man across from you as the Ferrari man he had seen around the paddock. 

The man’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Piss. Off.” Daniel stated a lot more bluntly, the usual cheeriness to his voice was nowhere to be found. Instead, his darkened gaze met the man’s and his face remained fairly blank. “Do I need to repeat myself?” 

You looked at him, a little surprised. “Daniel–”

The man puffed out his chest. “We are having a conversation.” 

You turned to the man this time. “Jack–” 

“Listen to the lady, James,” Daniel said, and this time there was a smug grin on his face. “Fuck off.” 

It wasn’t until you shot Jack a look that he finally backed off, his hands raised in mock defeat and somewhat of a glare sent in the direction of the Australian driver, but he didn’t seem to care. Instead, Daniel waved him a mocking solute, watching the Ferrari worker get lost in the crowd at the club. 

Only then did he turn to look at you, grinning when he saw the angry pout on your lips. 

“What the fuck was that about, Daniel?” You spat at him, a little tipsy yourself and really fucking confused at the driver’s sudden behaviour. 

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” he stated, completely disregarding the question you had just asked him. “Kinda hot, to be honest.”

Your eyes narrowed on him. “You’re an asshole.” 

“Any other names you wanna call me?” Daniel teased like you were two friends bantering, like he hadn’t just stormed over and sent another man away. Like he was in any right to act the way he did. 

“Yeah, you’re a prick,” you said as your finger poked his chest as aggressively as one could when they were three pornstar martinis deep. “An entitled, arrogant, cocky prick who thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants.” 

“Don’t stop,” he murmured, hooded eyes focused on your lips, glossy and pouty and he could bet his bottom dollar that you tasted like the mango lip balm he would always see you putting on. 

“And you are just so full of it!” you huffed out as you turned in your stool to face him, not even noticing the way Daniel stood between your legs to get a little closer. “Just walking about with your head up your own arse!” 

“Keep going, sunshine,” Daniel urged, so close to you that he could smell your perfume, the hints of vanilla and something floral he couldn’t quite put his finger on. He hated how much he fucking loved that smell. 

“And you just walk around like you own the place just because you flash everyone that stupid pretty smile and I am sick of it,” you affronted with your hand now promptly splayed over his chest, your fingers teasing the buttons of his shirt and his grip on your wrist keeping the contact between you two. 

“You think I’m pretty?” Daniel spoke up, his voice was low and husky and you shouldn’t have been able to hear him. But only then it seemed to click to you now how close he was, his nose almost brushing yours and your bodies almost completely pressed together. You didn’t want him to move away. 

“Infuriatingly so,” you grumbled under your breath, eyes fluttering shut when you felt his lips brush against yours. 

“Well, sunshine, I think you’re fucking gorgeous,” Daniel whispered against your lips, his warm breath tickling your skin. “And I think that every man in this club knows that too. But you know what?” 

You swallowed. “What?” 

“I think they can look as much as they fucking want,” he said to you, so sure and certain and confident in his words. “But they can’t fucking touch.”

You could feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest. “They can’t?” 

“No, sunshine, they can’t,” he said, his free hand fitting itself against your jaw, fingers dancing along the side of your cheek and dangerously close to your lips. “I don’t let people touch what’s mine.” 

You almost scoffed. “And I’m yours, Ricciardo?” 

“Come with me and I’ll show you just who you belong to.”

“I’m not an object.” 

His lips twitched. “Baby, if you want me to get on my knees and tell you that I belong to you too, you just have to say.” 

Your cheeks flushed, your hand fisting the material of his shirt. “Stay on your two feet, Ricciardo.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

There was a pulse in the air, a brief pause in the world where the music stopped and everything froze and it was just the two of you. Lando’s words pissed him off because he was right. Because Daniel did like you, he had liked you since the first day he met you and it just infuriated him that you weren’t as simple to woo as other girls were. 

But that just made him crave you more. 

And you know, no matter what you told yourself or even told Lando on the countless nights he would tease you, that you were attracted to Daniel Ricciardo. That no matter how much you told yourself you hated him, that he was the asshole you had made him out to be in your head, that you fucking fell for that stupid smile and that stupid face and that goddamn stupid accent.

You fell for him even when you weren’t supposed to. 

Neither of you were sure who leaned in first. If it was Daniel or you or some weird mix of the both of you gravitating towards each other. Your lips met his, the music was pumping through the speakers of the clubs so loud that you could feel the bass in your teeth and suddenly you felt the need to get out of there, to feel the cold night air of Monaco against your skin and somewhere away from everyone else. 

Mumbled words and whispered promises were shared before you finally pushed him back, empty glasses left on the bar counter and your hands intertwined as you quickly made your way towards the exit. 

It was a blur to his apartment. 

Climbing into the back of the taxi, his hands all over you and his head ducked into the crook of your neck. The words he whispered in your ear and the way he seemed to paint a million different stories on what he wanted to do with you. You vaguely remembered Daniel handing the driver the cash for the ride, a heavy tip added on top before he pulled you towards his apartment complex. 

You barely had a moment to take anything in with his body pressed against your back after he placed the keys of his apartment in your hands, telling you to unlock the door as his fingers pulled the fabric of your dress higher up your thighs. 

It took an embarrassingly long time to finally get inside the apartment. 

Heels and shoes kicked to the side by the door. The buttons of his shirt being undone and pushed off his shoulders until it hit the floor. The back of his knees hitting the bed until he was seated on the edge, you standing between his legs and his hands working on unzipping your dress until it fell to the floor. 

“Fuck,” he muttered as his hands ran up the expanse of your thighs, squeezing the flesh and tugging you closer so he could press soft, feather-light kisses along your stomach. 

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” you told him as your fingers ran through his curls, tugging his head back so he was looking up at you. 

“Demanding,” Daniel retorted with a smile as his hands dropped to the button on his trousers, quickly shrugging them off until he was left in his boxers, thigh tatted thighs on display. “You’re staring, sunshine.” 

“I’m admiring,” you corrected, hooded eyes focused on his legs rather than his smirking face. 

“C’mon,” he murmured as he pulled you closer, guiding you until you were straddling his lap, but quickly manoeuvring you onto his thigh with an ease you could only admire. “Show me how much you like ‘em.” 

Your breath hitched. “I–” 

“Don’t get shy on me now, sunshine,” Daniel said with a wolfish grin on his face. “Wanna get wild with you.” 

Your cheeks flushed. 

“Put on a lil’ show for me, baby,” he whispered with one hand on your waist, the other cradling your face so you couldn’t look away from him. “Then I’m gonna fuck you until you forget that little fucker’s name.” 

You frowned. “Jack?” 

“Don’t,” he gruffed out, his fingers digging into your cheeks. “Don’t say his fucking name. I don’t care what he is to you or who–”

“He’s just a friend,” you muttered quickly, his hand on your waist guiding you against his thigh. Your breath got caught in your throat as your clothed clit brushed against his muscular thigh. “J-Just a friend.”

“Just a friend?” he mocked, watching as your lips parted in a silent scream. “Just a friend who wants to fuck you like I’m gonna fuck you?” 

“I don’t–” your hands darted out to grip his shoulder, your hips rolling against his thigh. “I was never gonna–” 

“Oh, I know, sunshine,” he cooed as he brought you into a bruising kiss, your moans muffled by his lips as you felt the coil in your stomach tightening. “I know he can’t make you feel half as good.” 

“So arrogant,” you muttered between broken whines as your head fell to rest on his shoulder. Unable to deal with the growing pleasure, you bit down on his shoulder, his whispered praises washing over you as your orgasm washed over you. 

“That’s my girl,” he murmured, pressing a kiss on the crown of your head. 

“Danny,” you whimpered into his shoulder, muscles relaxed and body slumped against his. 

“That’s my name, baby, gonna get used to saying it a lot more tonight,” he said with that pretty smile. 

For a moment, you thought that was going to be what ended you. 

For a moment, you honestly didn’t mind if that was the way you went. 

You could feel his lips all over you. 

Along your collarbone and shoulders as he pushed the straps of your bra down. Down the valley of your chest as the undergarment was thrown somewhere else in the room. Along the plane of your stomach as his tattooed fingers worked on pulling the matching panties down your leg. 

You didn’t have it within you to stop him when the head of curls ducked between your legs, teasing your sensitive cunt to the point you were so sure your heart would fucking stop. 

But then his face was just above you again, his movements were soft and gentle as he cradled your face and kissed you. His boxers were long enough and his hard cock was free, and big, and fuck, it was kind of hard not to stare. 

“Danny,” you whimpered with a neediness he couldn’t help but grin at you. He liked you when you begged, when you clung onto his arms and looked at him like he was the only one who could give you the world. 

He liked it a lot. 

“Patience, sunshine,” he whispered against your lips, his body covering yours and the head of his cock teasing your cunt. “Gotta make sure you’re ready f’me.” 

Your eyes were wet and glossy by the time he was finished with you. His fingers stretching you out, your nails digging into his biceps and his name leaving your lips in a hushed mantra as you begged for him, as you begged for his cock. And only then did Daniel finally slide into you. 

Someone could have told you that you had spent days in between the sheets with Daniel and you would have believed them. Whenever you thought you were done, Daniel was kissing you sweetly and whispering “just one more, sunshine”, and you didn’t have it within you to say no to him. 

Whether it was with you sprawled on his king size bed, lips and teeth clashing in a messy kiss as he thrusted at a pace only an athlete with his stamina could achieve. Whether it was with your face pressed into the pillows, his hands on your ass and filthy words leaving his mouth. Whether it was with your legs thrown over his shoulders, his hands pinning your hips to the bed as he lazily lapped at you soaking, sensitive cunt until you were crying. 

Daniel Ricciardo was insatiable and you fucking loved it. 

And yet, when he woke up the next morning—though it was closer to the afternoon—the sheets were crumpled and empty, your clothes were gone and the only proof he had that the night had even happened was the faint scent of your perfume on his pillow. 

You had fucking ran off before he woke up. 

.

Daniel would be lying if he said he wasn’t hurt by your actions. 

At first, he tried to rationalise it. 

It was a sudden shift in your relationship. The two of you had been so used to spending the years at each other’s throats, that rolling around in the sheets would be a big change for anyone. Maybe you just needed a day or two to wrap your head around it, maybe you just needed some time to think things through. 

But the days passed and the next thing he knew, it was the weekend of the Baku Grand Prix.

Daniel felt a buzz in his veins as he entered the paddock, ready to see you again after weeks of nothing. All he had were the vague updates Lando would give, but those weren’t enough for him. Those updates and the memories of your shared night together could only sedate so much before he needed to see you. 

He didn’t see you on Thursday. He couldn’t even catch a glimpse of you on Friday. He actively went to the McLaren garage on Saturday in hopes of seeing you. And by the time the race had come and gone on Sunday, the paddock and teams were packed up and moving to the next race. 

The same routine followed in Canada and Silverstone. You were avoiding him and whatever feelings he had before slowly became anger. If you wanted to pretend it never happened, that was fine by him and he could respect that. 

But avoid him completely? Daniel wasn’t having that. 

It wasn’t until the Austrian Grand Prix came around—home of the Red Bull Ring—that he finally managed to catch you. 

Well, kind of. 

The moping and grumpy moods had become too much for Max and he couldn’t stand it anymore. A little bit of wine and Daniel was spilling his sorrows to the Dutchman, who then took it upon himself to concoct a plan. 

It was honestly surprising that anything planned by Max and Lando had managed to work if anyone was being honest (and in years to come, they would continue to boast about so), but maybe that was also to do with the fact you were too cautious on avoiding Daniel to notice the glint in Lando’s eyes and Daniel was too mopey to see the grin on Max’s face. 

But it all came to play the second you found yourself in Lando’s driver room, not even having a second to process the Australian already in the room before the door was locked behind you. 

“TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT IS MAKING YOU BOTH SO WHINGEY!” 

“OR JUST MAKE OUT AND GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH!”

“NOT IN MY ROOM!” 

You stared at the door for a moment, listening to the snickers and the retreating footsteps on the other side before you turned to face Daniel, a somewhat sheepish expression on your face. 

“Hi,” was all you could manage to say. 

“Hey,” he replied, but it was blunt and lacked any real enthusiasm. Because whilst he was thrilled to see you, to be close enough to reach out and touch you, the lingering anger he had felt over the last few weeks was still there. 

The silence was suffocating as you just stared at each other, neither one wanting to make the first move. You were almost shocked when he was the first to speak up.

“Why did you do it?” 

You looked at him, lips pressed together as you tried to come up with a response. You could have lied, you could have said a million different things that would have gotten you out of this situation but only the truth managed to slip out in a quiet voice. 

“I was scared,” you told him, watching as his blank persona dropped and a mixed look of confusion and concern crossed his face. 

“Scared?” he repeated, almost like he wasn’t sure he had heard you right. “Scared of what?” 

You didn’t say anything. 

“Talk to me, sunshine,” he whispered, his voice slightly pleading and the nickname you had craved to hear over the last few weeks was what finally broke you. 

“I was scared by how much I liked it, okay?” you said as you let out a shuddering breath. “I…I should hate you! I did hate you, or at least I thought I did and then that night…”

“That night?” Daniel prompted, risking to take a step closer to you. 

“It was so easy,” you whispered, your voice a little shaky and he didn’t think he had ever seen you look so…vulnerable before. “It was so easy to be with you, to kiss you. It was easy and it was nice and…”

“It scared you that you didn’t hate me,” he finished for you and all you could do was nod. 

Daniel closed the remaining distance between you and you didn’t fight him when his hands came up to cradle your face, both palms warm against your cheeks and those big brown eyes of his staring at you with an unreadable emotion. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, tongue darting out to lick your lips and his eyes watched the movement closely. 

“Give this a chance,” he whispered to you, a slight shake to his words like his nerves were shining through but the confidence he held in his gaze remained. “Give us a chance. You said it yourself, it was easy. I wanna make it work.” 

“Danny–” 

“Just promise me you won’t run away, sunshine,” he murmured, his nose brushing against yours and he felt something like pride bloom in his chest when he saw your lips twitch a little. “Just want you to talk to me, that’s all. Just…give me a chance to prove how easy this can be.” 

You let out a shaky breath. “You’re still arrogant.” 

His lips broke out into a grin. “I know.” 

“And cocky,” you murmured as you felt his lips ghosting yours, almost touching but just not enough. “And a real pain in my ass–” 

“And I can’t wait for you to remind me every day, sunshine,” he grinned before he kissed you. A long overdue kiss that left you breathless and flustered and your cheeks tinted pink. 

Yeah, it was easy for you to spend years hating Daniel Ricciardo. 

But it was also damn easy to fall in love with him too. 

.