#australian crustacean

[drhoz]

#2011 - Laevophiloscia sp.

Very active, for a woodlouse, especially at night, but they were certainly no slouches during the day, either. Quite a pretty stained-glass pattern.

Philosciid woodlice are found worldwide, and there's 123 genera in the family. One of those genera is known only from caves in Australia's Nullabor Plain. Laevophiloscia I'm not sure about - some resources say they're endemic to Western Australia, but others record the genus from elsewhere in Australia. It's certainly been found in caves, but not exclusively in caves.

[arthistoryanimalia]

A closer look at the 6 #Australia mammal #stamps designed by Eileen Mayo (6d Banded Anteater, 8d Tiger Cat, 9d Kangaroos, 11d Rabbit Bandicoot, 1/. Platypus, 1/2 Tasmanian Tiger, 1959-1962), along with her next set of 4 marine life stamps (7c Humbug Fish, 8c Coral Fish, 9c Hermit Crab, 10c Anemone Fish, 1966).

[zephyrenn]

Super excited to share my Vaquita piece for the new 2024 issue of Sea Unseen Zine (@seaunseenzine)! There are over 60 gorgeous marine-themed artworks in this issue, and all proceeds go towards the Australian Marine Conservation Society 🌊🐋🦈🦐

Keep reading below to learn a bit more about this small, critically endangered cetacean!

At just around 95 lbs in mass and 4.5 feet in length, the Vaquita (Phocoena sinus) is the world's smallest living cetacean! Like many other porpoises, they feed on a range small fish, squid, and crustaceans within their locality. They have an incredibly small range, known only to reside in shallow waters in upper Gulf of California. Due to their rarity, not much else is known about this species.

Sadly, the Vaquita is on the brink of extinction. Recent estimates suggest only 10 individuals remain. Illegal fishing operations result in these little cetaceans becoming bycatch, and is the biggest cause of their decline.

Current conservation efforts for the Vaquita seek to mitigate threats such as fisheries, pollution, and habitat destruction. Hopefully, with enough protection and patience, the population of this incredible animal will stabilize and even recover 💙

[herpsandbirds]

May I please suggest, if you don't have it already, this magnificent sea creature: the Coleman's Shrimp?

(And a pink robin too if you don't have one already.)

HERE IS YOUR CRUSTACEAN...

(and your Pink Robins are here: Herps and Birds (and More) (Posts tagged Australian robin) (tumblr.com))

Coleman's Shrimp (Periclemenes colemani), family Palaemonidae, Philippines

These shrimp are usually found in pairs, and live on fire urchins (where they clip off spines and live on the open clipped patch).

First described in 1975.

photograph by Albert Kang

[birdstudies]

August 17, 2024 - Shining Flycatcher (Myiagra alecto) Found in parts of northern Australia, eastern Indonesia, and Papua New Guinea, these monarchs live in forests, shrublands, mangroves, and wetlands. They mostly eat insects, as well as some fruit, mollusks, and crustaceans, foraging in dense vegetation and around water. Breeding from August to April in their Australian range, they weave deep cup-shaped nests from bark, fibers, moss, rootlets, twigs, spiderwebs, and lichen, often over water. Both parents incubate the clutches of two or three eggs and care for the chicks.

[marinebiologyfacts]

How do dendrogasters get inside starfish?

I've actually never heard of this before! For anyone wondering the dendrogaster is a parasitic crustacean that uses sea stars as a host. Parasites have a wide array of methods to infiltrate their hosts. The dendrogaster uses one of the natural openings in the sea star to burrow in while still small and grows large once inside the host.

From Australian Geographic (Click the link for more info and pictures)

"Female Dendrogasters settle into the coelomic cavity of sea stars (a hollow, fluid-filled space that contains the organs) to produce thousands upon thousands of eggs and larvae. The much smaller males tuck themselves inside the mantle of the females, cushioned by eggs. "

There isn't a lot of information on them yet. How exciting that we may get to learn more in the future!

[fishenjoyer1]

Fish of the Day

Today's fish of the day is the Australian angelshark!

The Australian angelshark, known by scientific name Squatina australis, is a common coastal shark in Australia. The range of this shark stretches across the continental shelf of Southern Australia, from Western Australia to New South Wales. Living along the seabed, it survives at depths of 130-255 meters, or 430-840ft. This is where this shark will live on muddy or sandy seabed, which it uses to disguise itself, or seagrass beds, nearby rocky reefs where it will hunt.  

As a primarily nocturnal species, the Australian angelshark hunts in the night, searching for prey within rocky zones and reefs. The diet is made up of small fishes, crustaceans, and other invertebrates which it crushes between its sharp teeth. During the day, these sharks spend their time buried beneath the sand, hiding from potential predators, well remaining hidden from nearby prey, which it will lunge at once close enough. 

These sharks, like other angel sharks, are ovoviviparous, meaning that the young survive off of the egg casing inside of the uterus of the mother as they gestate, and litters of pups can get up to 20 pups at a time. Other than this, little is known of the breeding habits of the Australian Angelshark, but due to their close relation to the Pacific angel shark, we can estimate they may gestate their pups for around 10 months. From what we know of pacific angel sharks, we can assume a breeding season takes place in May-July, and birthing is done from March-June of the following year. Sexual maturity of the Australian angelshark is achieved at 90cm in length for males, and 97cm in length for females, and they can get as large as 152cm in length total. Although we don't know the lifespan of the Australian angelshark specifically, most angel sharks live lives of 20-25 years, going through around 15 breeding seasons throughout their lifespan.

Have a wonderful day, everyone!

[theresattrpgforthat]

Hello! I’m wondering if you have any recommendations for Animal-themed TTRPGs? Specifically wild animals if possible (jungle, arctic, desert, etc). I have a lot of recommendations for domestic animals and pets! ☺️

Theme: Wild Animals

Hello friend! You are right, there are quite a lot of recommendations out there for cute pet-like animals, but I think I managed to find a nice variety of wild animals. I also have a few longer games to balance out the 1-page rpgs I found.

One Less Lobster in Maine, by Minte.

You’ve made it! You escaped! Freed from your wooden trap you find yourself on the picturesque coasts of Maine. One lobster alone facing the world, on a journey to make your way back to the sea. 

This game played with a deck of cards, lets you build your own adventure. Play on your own or with friends this is meant to be a fun lighthearted story building game that is easy to pick up and play. All you need are some cards, maybe some friends, your imagination for your very own crustacean crusade.

This game can be played solo or with a group; it’s basically an oracle that presents you with events and obstacles as your lobster makes their way to the sea.

Emu Uprising, by ashleecraft.

You play an emu trying to defeat the government with the help of your friends in this 1-page TTRPG based on The Great Emu War created for the Historically Accurate Game Jam 2023!

This is hilarious re-enactment of a real-life historical event. You roll a series of times using 2d6 to determine what happens in each round of battle. Your goal is to get more Emu points than Human points. Feel free to add your own embellishments to each moment of battle!

Rise of the Apes, by WuDeRPG.

Rise of the Apes takes the premise of the movie Rise of the Planet of the Apes and lets you play as a group of Apes escaping a laboratory on their quest to reach freedom in the woods.

This is the first game using the RISE system, which divides play into 3-act struggles over which your characters will experience evolutionary moments. I think this game has an interesting opportunity as a teaching tool because players have a chance to get familiar with one part of their character sheet before adding on new pieces. I’m interested to see whether each act could be its own game session; breaking out of the lab as the first act could certainly take up to 2 or 3 hours.

Crabpocalypse, by Z Gosck.

Great news, the apocalypse is here!

but not at the hands of zombies, aliens, or unrelenting capitalism, but rather the meaty claws of giant enemy crabs. And even better news, you’re the fucking crabs!

Become crab, as nature intended, in Crabpocalypse! A game that finally puts you in the carapace of a giant enemy crab, bringing unimaginable death and destruction upon a world that sorely deserves it!

An absolutely ridiculous game, Crabpocalypse requires that players play the entire game with their hands shaped like crab claws, lest they lose a point from their highest crabtribute. The whole game is this silly and over-the-top, right to the end - where you will fight a giant, human-allied crab!

Mortal Wombat, by JoshyLongLegs.

Captured in your infancy by some Australian scientists (unburdened by morals or ethics) you have been turned into a sapient cyborg synapsid, hell-bent on escaping the laboratory you've been kept captive in all these years! 

Joined by your own marsupial mob you've got to use your head and your butt to prove yourself the finest Wombatant and make your way to freedom! 

Another simple one-page game, Mortal Wombat embraces the cartoonish style of children’s tv shows and gives your wombats some serious chrome upgrades. There appears to be some callbacks to Honey Heist here, so if you’re familiar with that one-pager, this game will probably be pretty easy to pick up and play.

Moose Trip, by Kira Magrann.

You’re a moose living in the human occupied wilds of Montana. You’ve just eaten some of your favorite psychedelic mushrooms with your friends. The streams are cooling, the willows ripe with delicious leaves, and soft orange moss dots granite rocks amid grassy fields. You’re settling into your favorite lush sanctuary here in the wilds for a mind altering and inspiring psychedelic trip.

This game is more of a conversational experience than something with a definable goal. You take turns rolling mushroom feelings, and then ask the group around you the related question. I think this game could also be used as a mini-game inside a larger campaign, regardless of who your characters are - you don’t even really need to be a moose to play.

The Warren, by Bully Pulpit Games.

The Warren is a tabletop role-playing game about intelligent rabbits trying to make the best of a world filled with hazards, predators and, worst of all, other rabbits. It is a game about survival and community.

There are many creatures, humans included, that are bigger, stronger, meaner, or more numerous than rabbits. The seasons and the elements do not care that rabbits are only little things. Rabbits cannot hope to meet these threats head on. Only through speed, wits, and keeping a cool head can rabbits bypass the dangers of the outside world.

The Warren hails from the PbtA family of games, and pulls greatly on rabbit stories such as Watership Down and Peter Rabbit. It comes highly lauded and is known for its ability to combine the idyllic comfort of being a small creature with the tragic horror of being everyone’s favourite prey. If you want a deep game that isn’t afraid to send you to some dark places, I recommend The Warren.

Games I've Recommended in the Past

Capybara Capers, by momatoes.

Jellyfish Felonies, by Penguin King Games.

My Fish Games Post.

[o-craven-canto]

What is your position on the debate between contingency and convergence in evolution? As a creator and enjoyer of speculative evolution, I imagine you might fall more towards contingency, but I'd still be curious on your overall thoughts on it, and on how different a separate run of evolution on an earthlike planet would really be.

Hmm.

Biologists usually distinguish two types of resemblance among organisms: analogy, which mostly regards general function and appearance and is driven by common conditions, and homology, which mostly regards deep structure and is driven by common ancestry.

All the limbs of land-dwelling vertebrates and their descendants are made of one long bone, followed by two parallel long bones, followed by a maximum of five (except in ichthyosaur flippers) series of digit bones. This you see from frogs to seagulls to horses to manatees to moles -- the descendants of proto-amphibians such as Ichthyostega -- but not in any other animal group. This is the canonical example of homology: there is no reason for such different limbs with functions so different to share the same 1-2-n pattern except inheritance from a common ancestor. On the other hand, the wings of birds and those of insects, or for that matter their eyes, are so different because they arose independently. The common features in the wings of a hummingbird and a dragonfly are due to the same physical constraints, and that is analogy.

Sometimes it depends from the level of analysis: bird wings and bat wings are analogous as wings -- their flight surface is achieved by different means, feathers in one and skin in the other -- but homologous as vertebrate forelimbs -- they have the same 1-2-n sequence of bones, and their development is regulated by the same genes.

There are, of course, physical reasons for structures to resemble each other: everything that moves quickly through water needs to be more or less spindle-shaped; everything that grows past a few hundred grams on dry land needs some sort of rigid support; photosynthesizers and filter-feeders need fractally branching structures; and so on. Compound eyes and exoskeletons really are more efficient at smaller sizes, camera-type eyes and internal skeletons at larger, so that's a reason other than ancestry for insects and birds to be so different; but the largest butterflies are bigger than the smallest hummingbirds, so it's not just a matter of scale; and the eyes of tunas are more like the eyes of eagles than like the eyes of squids, so it's not just a matter of environment.

Some classical examples of convergent evolutions overstate their case a bit: sharks, ichthyosaurs, and dolphin all started from the same aquatic vertebrate chassis, so their similarity is not pure environment-driven convergence. (But it is a bit: from the same chassis you can also make a turtle or a crane.) Similarly for marsupial mice and moles vs. their placentate equivalent, none of whom gets that far from the original mammal model to begin with. When you get a bit farther, you find that the Australian equivalent of a horse is not an almost identical "marsupial horse" but a kangaroo, for reasons that have to do with marsupial birth. It's the same for the now-famous case of carcinization, which only applies to decapod crustaceans -- it's not even universal for crustaceans in general! If you try over and over to make an open-water pursue predator out of the vertebrate plan, you'll get similar results: the shark, the tuna, the ichthyosaur, the dolphin. But try the same with the mollusk plan, and you get a squid.

Now, convergence is likely to occur on other planets, because anything recognizable as life will have similar requirements and meet similar challenges. But it will be much more subtle than making planets full of blue horses and humans with weird eyebrows (I can't overstate how complex and specific the history of our body shape is). Assuming an Earth-like planet, for example, I'd expect its surface ecosystems to be overwhelmingly based on photosynthesis, its "plants" to have branching shapes with flat light collectors, and its largest "animals" to be bilaterally symmetrical with eyes, intestines, and skeletons of some sort. But that still leaves an enormous amount of variety, based both on ancestry and on smaller-scale micro-environmental constraints: note that the description of "animal" I gave fits equally a tarantula, a giraffe, a snail, and an axolotl.

TL;DR: many important traits of living organisms are made necessary by physical and environmental constraints, but there's an immense variety of ways to develop them, and that is mostly going to be driven by contingencies in ancestry. In my opinion, that is.

As readings, I'd recommend The Equations of Life: How Physics Shapes Evolution (Charles Cockell, 2018) and Convergent Evolution on Earth: Lessons for the Search for Extraterrestrial Life (George McGhee, 2019) as summaries of the physical constraints and useful strategies that are going to arise over and over in living systems, as well as this brief paper on the evolution of complexity in alien life. Note how much similarity they predict, but also note how much they don't!

Thanks for the question! <3

[cypherdecypher]

Animal of the Day!

Reef Stonefish (Synanceia verrucosa)

(Photo from Australian Museum)

Conservation Status- Least Concern

Habitat- Indo-Pacific Ocean

Size (Weight/Length)- 40 cm

Diet- Fish; Crustaceans

Cool Facts- Reef stonefish are the singular reason I’m terrified of going past my knees into a tidepool. Stonefish are ambush predators, blending in with their surroundings and waiting for an unsuspecting fish to dart overhead. Striking and swallowing their prey whole in less than 0.015 seconds, these fish have massive appetites. Reef stonefish are the most venomous fish in the world. The spines along their dorsal fin are sharp enough to pierce the bottom of a shoe and the venom is fatal in even the smallest doses. Luckily to humans, the venom is slow acting and can often be treated with limited nerve damage. Thankfully, reef stonefish are solitary outside of the breeding season and are more likely to move than be stepped on.

Rating- 12/10 (One of my largest irrational fears despite not living anywhere near the ocean.)

[drhoz]

#2013 - Portunus armatus - Australian Blue Swimmer Crab

Photo by Patrick Wake

AKA Blue manna, Blueys, and Jennies (for females). Formerly part of Portunus pelagicus, until DNA evidence and close anatomical study split that genus into four species. It might not be blue, and it's missing the most distinctive part of the anatomy, but it's definitely a Blue Swimmer.

This is the fifth leg, flattened into a paddle. They can swim quite well for a crab, which combined with their aggression can lead to alarming encounters with you're swimming or wading in the same ocean.

Blue Swimmers are an important recreational fishery in Australia, and populations are generally healthy, but have collapsed where overfishing is combined with pollution.

They live in estuarine and marine waters from theintertidal down to 50 m depth, moving to deeper water in winter, or out to sea when fresh water enters estuaries. They prefer areas with flat muddy or sandy bottoms with seagrass or algae where they can hunt small fish and other crustaceans, molluscs, and worms, and supplement the diet with algae and seagrass. They reach maturity in one year, and after three years may have an 80cm claw span.

[sharks-daily]

u should talk abt the saw shark!!!

You got it!

Common sawshark (Pristiophorus cirratus)

Size: Up to 112 cm (44in)

Range & Habitat: Common sawsharks can be found in the Indian Ocean and southern Australian waters. They can be found in open water as well as along coastal areas.

Other: One of 9 species of sawshark, the common or longnose sawshark is identifiable by thier protruding snout, edged with teeth, and two barbels coming off of it. They are relatively small and typically eats crustaceans it finds on the seafloor, then smacks with its snout to eat.

It is also important to note that sawsharks in general are different from sawfish! Sawfish are not sharks at all, but a family of rays. You can distinguish one from the other because the sharks have gills on the side of their bodies while the sawfish have their gills on the bottom. Also, the sawfish tend to be larger. Here's a largetooth sawfish, which can grow to 7.5 meters (25 feet), for comparison.

[wjbs-bonkle-au]

Human AU (and also general but mostly Human AU) ideas: "Sleep Deprived At A Family Gathering That I'm At For Another Hour So I'm Sitting In The Corner And Listening To Music" edition!

Mahritoran have their weapons fused to their limbs, even after the Pit Mutagen reversed most of Karzahni's modifications. Sarda and Idris' claws can still be used as hands.

Axonn and Brutaka are canonically exes.

Main!Pohatu is a bottom, while r63!Pohatu is a top.

G1!Kohatu is twunk4bear while G2!Kohatu is bear4twunk.

G1!Pohatu is Texan whereas G2!Pohatu is Australian.

Since the Hordika and Rahaga look closer to their unmutated counterparts, Bomonga's Rahaga form is much taller than the rest, being slightly shorter than Whenua's unmutated Metru form.

Bomonga used to wear a wide-brimmed hat, but lost it at some point prior to being chosen to become a Toa Hagah, and he never found it again until long after the GSR's wreckage was salvaged.

Rahkshi have like. Crustacean shell texture. Also Kraata look like a cross between their Bionicle Heroes and Miramax designs.

Pohatu and Matau are transmasc; Nokama and Tamaru are transfem; Nixie is non-binary. There are more non-cis characters but this is just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

Bitil's mandibles click together as he speaks.

The Golden Skinned Being is completely featureless, and speaks in all its constituents' voices at once.

Irnakk looks like a fusion of all 6 Piraka, but more monstrous.

[eepernation]

THANK YOU PENPENPENCIL FOR THE INSPIRATION IN THE TAGS!! I was originally going to make the beetle a little crab or some kind of crustacean but the birds idea is so much better!!

Crimson is a red-tailed tropicbird! His name comes from his bright red beak and tail. He likes to sit on Sky's head and make noise. fun fact!: red-tailed tropicbirds actually feed on flying fish irl. I think this is very funny considering that is EXACTLY WHAT SKY IS LMAO

Sky's beetle item in this au is a little sandpiper friend! He's named it Beetle, because that's its favorite thing to bring him. among other tiny trinkets and treasures, from areas on beaches Sky can't reach without risking getting washed ashore

(extra cut content/concept under the cut!)

fun fact Sky's loftwing was almost just an entire shoebill stork (the irl bird loftwings are based off of). the bird is native to small regions in east-central Africa. personally i think the concept of Sky just having this random giant ass australian bird friend is HILARIOUS. its supposed to live in freshwater swamps. what is it doing HERE/LH GET UR ASS BACK TO UR NATURAL HABITAT BITCH!!!!!/LH

[bethanythebogwitch]

For this Wet Beast Wednesday, I'll be talking about sea snakes. While there are a lot of snakes that can swim and spend time in the water, I won't be talking about all of them. I'm specifically talking about snakes that spend most or all of their time underwater and have specific adaptations for an aquatic lifestyle. The true sea snakes are members of subfamilies Hydophiinae (which also contains some terrestrial snakes that I won't go over) and Laticaudinae (the sea kraits). There are 72 species of sea snake, all of whom inhabit warm waters in the Indian and Pacific Oceans and are related to terrestrial Australian snakes.

(image: a sea snake)

Sea snakes have developed many unique adaptations for a life spent in water. Of note, the true sea snakes spend their entire lives underwater while sea kraits still spend time on land. This is reflected in their adaptations, with sea kraits being seen as representing a transitional stage between semi-aquatic ancestors and fully aquatic sea snakes. Sea snakes are ventrally (side-to-side) flattened and tails flattened into paddles, giving them an eel-like body plan and aiding in swimming. In true sea snakes, the ventral scales, which terrestrial snakes use for movement, are highly reduced, leaving them virtually helpless on land. Sea kraits have normal ventral scales and can move normally on land. Sea snakes are the only snakes with nostrils on the tops of their heads and they have special adaptations for keeping water out when breathing. Most species can obtain oxygen from water passing over the tops of their bodies, allowing them to supplement their held breath while on dives. Subcutaneous respiration like this is very rare amongst reptiles as their thick scales usually prevent it. The lung is proportionally larger than in terrestrial snakes, filling most of the body, and may have adaptations to help maintain buoyancy, similar to the swim bladder of bony fish. All true sea snakes are ovoviviparous, meaning they retain their eggs, which then hatch internally, and give live birth. Sea kraits are oviparous, laying eggs, which must be laid on land. Sea krait nests are very rarely found and seem to only be placed in very specific locations. Like other marine tetrapods, sea snakes ingest way too much salt as a result of accidentally swallowing sea water, and have adaptations to expel this excess salt. In their case, they have special glands in the mouth that let them release salt as they flick their tongues. The majority of sea snakes are venomous, with some species having more potent venom than any land-dwelling snake. Bites to humans are rare, but require immediate medical attention. The exception are members of the genus Emydocephalus, which feed almost exclusively on fish eggs.

(image: a black-banded sea krait. Note the paddle-shaped tail)

Sea snakes have modified senses compared to land snakes. Land snakes rely heavily on vision, chemoreception, and hearing/vibration detection. Water interferes with these senses and the adaptations of sea snakes have been poorly studied. They seem to rely primarily on chemorecpetion/smell using their tongues like land snakes. Water carries chemical signatures better than air and so sea snakes only reveal the tips of their tongues instead of the whole tongue like land snakes. Sea snakes seem to use pheromones to attract mates. One species, possibly more, has light-sensing cells on its tail, likely used to ensure it is fully hidden during the day. Some scientists have proposed that sea snakes may have evolved electromagnetic reception and pressure detection, but these have yet to be tested.

(image: a sea snake)

The majority of sea snakes are active predators who prey on small fish, crustaceans, and squid. They are generally reluctant to bite and many can be handled with little risk, but some species are more aggressive than others. It seems that species who use their venom primarily for defense are more likely to bite people than those who use venom to take down prey. They are active at day and night, with different behavior depending on species. Most species will bask in the sun during the morning and early afternoon by swimming near the surface of the water. They can dive up to 90 meters (300 feet) deep and spend a few hours between breaths, depending on species. Social behavior has been observed, with some species schooling, occasionally in huge numbers. These mass swarms are likely associated with mating. The black-banded sea krait has been seen teaming up with others of its species as well as yellow goatfish and bluefin trevally to hunt, with the group working together to flush small prey out of crevices. Most species live in shallow waters near shores or in estuaries and some will swim up rivers. Three species have adapted to a completely fresh water life.

(image: a yellow-bellied sea snake that washed up on shore)

[guysunderwearstories]

Story #23

“Pajama day? What are we, five years old?”

Aaron was disgusted. Not only was his boss making them work all day on a Saturday, but he was trying to insult him and the other employees by making it a “fun pajama day.” This job was supposed to be a part-time thing to put on his resume, but here it was ruining his social life.

“I just thought if we all had to be here on a Saturday, we could all dress comfortably,” said his boss, Vincent. Though Vincent founded the small startup, he looked like he couldn’t be a day over thirty. With an imposing figure and brown hair shaved into a buzz cut, his constant sternness juxtaposed what could only be described as a youthful face. Both his seriousness and his youth described exactly a person that would find pajama day fun.

“Again, since I’m not a toddler, I don’t own any pajamas, so I guess I have to work on a Saturday AND be uncomfortable doing it,” replied Aaron. Brock and Sam, the other two guys his age in the office, nodded emphatically.

“Can you guys bring sweatpants or something?” Vincent was looking flustered.

“Why do we have different rules we have to follow than everyone else?” Brock fake whined. His carefully styled black hair and Egyptian features made him look more like he belonged in a modeling agency than a startup. He, like Aaron, clearly just wanted to push Vincent’s buttons.

“If I’m going to wear pants, I’m not going to wear sweatpants. I’m going to actually commit to the bit,” laughed Sam. Sam had a slight Australian accent, dark hair shaved into a fade, and charming enough looks and personality that no one really noticed that what he said didn’t make a thing of sense.

“Well if you boys don’t wear pajamas, what do you wear to sleep?” inquired Luis. He was the one older man in the office. “I”m genuinely curious,” he said innocently to a clearly exasperated Vincent.

“Boxers,” said Aaron proudly.

“Undies,” said Brock with a grin.

“What kind?” asked Sam. “Panties? Budgie smugglers?”

“Nah, boxers too,” laughed Brock as he gave Sam a punch on the arm.

“This meeting has gone off the rails!” Vincent wasn’t happy about having to work all day Saturday either and all this backtalk wasn’t helping his mood. “If you boys really want to come in Saturday wearing your actual sleepwear, be my guest! Karen is still on maternity leave, so it’s not like anyone is going to mind!” Lisa, who they all called Karen, was the only woman in the office.

“Boo ya!” Aaron, Brock and Sam all high fived each other.

“Not that I think you boys have the balls to do it,” muttered Vincent under his breath.

“Carefully, Vinny, that’s an HR violation,” teased Aaron.

Aaron drove home, his displeasure at working Saturday completely alleviated by the knowledge he could cause havoc at work showing up in his boxers. As soon as Aaron walked in the door, he shed his khakis and waltzed around in his blue boxers with red lobsters on them. If he was going to spend all day in his underwear, he might as well get the practice in now. He plopped down on the couch, but the sudden movement caused a family jewel to plop out the bottom of his underpants, which he hastily readjusted. He frowned. Even if his office was willing to bend the dress code rules tomorrow, there was only so far they’d be willing to go. He got an idea and walked upstairs.

He knocked on his roommate James’ door. James, in the middle of a video game, laughed when he saw Aaron, though it was almost bitter. “Nice outfit,” said James. After all, Aaron was standing there in his plaid button down work shirt and crustacean boxers.

“Well, I have to get used to it don’t I?” laughed Aaron. He quickly filled in James on the events of the day.

“Why are you telling me all this?” asked James.

“Well, while boxers are pretty similar to shorts, there’s always the possibility that something might pop out the bottom,” Aaron grinned. “You would know that if you ever wore boxers.”

James glared at him.

Aaron continued, “I was wondering if you would loan me a pair of briefs I could wear underneath. I don’t own any.”

James looked at you in horror. “Loan you a pair of my underwear?”

“What?” asked Aaron. “You’ve loaned me bathing suits. If you don’t, I’m going to have to go to the store and actually spend money on those things. And I don’t want to encourage any future production of them.”

James scoffed. “Remind me to burn those bathing suits.”

Both boys stared at each other in awkward silence. It was time to address the elephant in the room.

Last weekend, after a breakup with his girlfriend, James drank way too much and somehow ended up filming an Instagram Live at 2 am featuring all his unsuspecting roommates. Only issue was James was in his underwear and all of his roommates were in their various sleeping attire (for the majority of them, their underpants). It’s not that Aaron was embarrassed to be seen in his underwear (he was going to work pantsless tomorrow, after all), but it was the principle of the thing; even if James was drunk, his instincts were try to embarrass his friend.

But even Aaron had to admit that the guys’ retaliation may have gone a bit too far. They picked up a fast asleep James and left him in nothing but his briefs on the porch of their attractive neighbor, June. As James angrily informed them all the morning after, he woke up (quite cold) to a disgusted looking June, clutching her bathrobe tightly to her body and poking him with a broomstick. James merely ran away. He still has never spoken to her and after that he probably never would.

“Listen. It was none of our finest hours,” Aaron said slowly.

“Get out of here. Not doing anything for you after that shit,” snapped James.

Aaron wasn’t too bothered. James had a bit of a temper but he was fiercely loyal to his friends and he knew their “bromance” wasn’t in any danger. But he was slightly annoyed that now he had to go to Walmart to buy briefs, something he has never done.

Aaron walked into the store from his xar. He found a pack of five solid black Gildan that didn’t look to bad (saying “good looking briefs” would have been too much of an oxymoron for him). But $35! He was going to wear them under his briefs one time for a bit at work. That wasn’t worth it.

The store didn’t have a ton of briefs; mainly boxers and boxer briefs lined the shelves. While it inconvenienced him in this moment, the lack of briefs being available to the public did restore his faith in humanity just a little bit.

He involuntarily grimaced as he passed a seven pack of Hanes tighty whities. His housemates Carlos wore them, and as a result in the infamous Instagram Live he looked like a beefy baby. But he did a double take. $15?!? For a pack of 7?!? He couldn’t argue that was a better deal. He found a pack in his size and shrugged. It’s not like anyone would see them. He tried to shake off the feeling that that statement was probably some nasty foreshadowing, almost like something an amateur writer might put in some gay erotica on Tumblr.

When he got home, Aaron went into his room, took off his boxers, and pulled on the tighty whities. He had to laugh at himself. He took off his plaid work shirt and stood there in nothing but the tighty whities. They made him look a loser but he had to admit a pretty well-endowed loser.

He slid back the boxers over them. Nothing was going to pop out now. There were some faintly visible brief lines, but if anyone was going to be staring at his ass that intently they better be buying him dinner first. The Hanes waistband stuck out over the top, but he wasn’t worried, as he’d be wearing a shirt tomorrow.

His phone buzzed from inside his discarded pants. He picked it up to see a text from James.

JAMES: Sorry for being a dick.

AARON: All good. Was kind of a dick too. Can you drive me to work tomorrow lol. Eli is borrowing my car.

JAMES: Sure. Text me a time.

Aaron smiled. James really was loyal to a fault.

The next day, Aaron woke up and got “dressed” for work. He pulled on the white briefs, a pair of white boxers with red polka dots (the funniest pair he owned), and a white wifebeater tank top. Socks and sneakers completed the outfit. He didn’t even put on a coat, as he wanted everyone in the office to take in his grand entrance.

Aaron and and James walked to James’s car. They carried two large boxes of bags of potato chips. As the least senior employee, Aaron had also been charged with bringing snacks to get them through this awful Saturday workday.

James parked the car. Aaron stopped him.

“Let me carry in the boxes with you.”

“Oh please,” Aaron brushed him off. “I got it.”

“Seriously.” James looked at him. “I was mad about one person seeing me in my underwear but I put you online. I feel bad. Let me help you out. Not like you can carry in both boxes those scrawny arms anyway.”

“Fuck off,” laughed Aaron. The two guys got out of the car, bragged boxes, and started walking towards the office.

As Aaron opened the door, he heard the crunch of potato chips as James threw his box to the floor. He gripped the waistband of Aaron’s boxers and pushed him forward with all his strength. Fuck. James must actually have been stronger than him, because his boxers ripped clean off. He landed on the office floor in full view of his coworkers, wearing nothing but white socks, black sneakers, the white tank top, and the Hanes tighty whities.

“I didn’t know you brought white ones!” cackled James. He ran out the door. Aaron heard snickering coming from every guy in the office. He took a couple seconds to recover from the shock before standing up. He started to run for James, but felt Vincent’s hands on his shoulders.

“You wanted to wear your actual sleepwear to work, and now that you showed up like this, you actually have to work.” Vincent looked stern and aggressive at the same time. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and gray sweatpants.

“I don’t actually wear these,” sputtered Aaron. “I was-“

“What do you mean you don’t actually wear them, you’re wearing them right now,” said Vincent. The whole office, still listening intently to the conversation, erupted in laughter.

Most of the office opted for Vincent’s sweatpants idea. A handful of guys wore flannel pajama pants. Brock and Sam were the only two in boxers. Brock opted for a basketball jersey and some Yankee boxers. Sam wore a faded fraternity t-shirt and some dark green boxers with light green shamrocks on them. As Aaron sat at his desk in shame, the two guys walked up to him.

“Was that your boyfriend who dropped you off?” teased Brock.

“Shut up.” Aaron was fuming.

“I didn’t think guys actually wore those outside of cartoons, but good for you for being different.” It seemed like Sam was trying to be nice. In his own special way. “Kind of weird to wear them to work though.”

Brock started, “Yea I can kind of see the outline of your-“. Aaron slapped a folder in front of crotch. He was humiliated. He hadn’t worn briefs since the age of six and now at the age of 23 he had the spend the entire workday in them. This was the stuff of nightmares.

All day long, people came over to take peeks of him and chuckle. He would keep trying to cover himself with things but everyone would just take them away. He was pretty sure he saw Brock filming a Tik Tok.

Luis walked over to him. He just wore his normal work clothes.

“Now people used to wear briefs but I thought that went out of fashion years ago,” he said to Aaron.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Aaron’s patience was waning.

“Listen here you little shit.” Luis, usually jovial, was not messing around. He opened up a pair of potato chips to reveal nothing but dust. “I am not going to take any crap from some loser who wears tighty whities to work.”