#baby innocent boys that need to be protected at all costs

[certifiablyinsanez]

🎶 I always thought I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true 🎶

🎶 Cuz I think you’re so good, and I’m nothing like you🎶

🎶Look at you go, I just adore you, I wish that I knew, what makes you think I’m so special🎶

🎶 if I could, begin to do, something that does right by you, I would do about anything🎶

🎶 I would even learn how to love🎶

[eroguron0nsense]

Garp Rant #11543

Because I'm something of a Certified Garp Hater/extremely obsessed with this man, and because Tumblr people seem to like my Garp takes and/or find them extremely pain-inducing, here's another one for funsies! Again, Garp is an incredibly written character and I massively enjoy his moral failings and human shortcomings, hence why I won't shut up about how much he sucks. So we all remember Garp crying in front of Ace during his imprisonment and awaiting his execution, lamenting the fact that his son and grandson could have maybe avoided this horrible horrible fate that awaits them at Marineford if they'd just become good marines like he'd tried to press them into. Every time he says it, he sounds more desperate, sadder, and angrier, like he's experiencing the stages of grief and going through denial, anger bargaining all at once, lashing out at his grandkids for supposedly causing him grief by defying his wishes, or maybe praying or wishing for a world where they could have followed in his footsteps and lived happily ever after. And when Ace hears that again at Impel Down, he says this:

Here's the thing though: Ace is unequivocally correct Garp should, by all rights, know this. He lived through the fallout of Roger's execution. He knew long before that exactly what would happen to Roger's loved ones and anyone the government could get their hands on who'd ever associated with him. Even before they started committing femicides/infanticides in Baterilla trying to end Roger's bloodline, he knew that the Marines were going to target completely innocent people in the name of purging the bloodline and cementing their "victory" over the greatest threat they'd ever faced. He specifically had to smuggle Rouge out of there so she could give birth to Ace, and all the while dozens of families were being brutalized by his peers and having their lives torn apart. That was the cost the Marines were willing to incur to kill a hypothetical infant, and years later, when that very same child is set to be executed, Sengoku goes on a remorseless public tirade about the necessity of killing babies and the horrible trickery and audacity Rouge displayed by dying so that they wouldn't kill her baby too.

Garp knows every single piece of this information in painful, excruciating detail. He's so horrified by it he feels the need to fulfill this wish of Roger's because he knows blameless people will die. He has Ace raised in secret to protect him from Marines who are figuratively and literally out for his blood. And yet, throughout this boy's childhood, he clings to the notion that maybe, just maybe, the people he knows regularly commit atrocities, who have carried out at least 3 genocides that we know of in Garp's lifetime, who were willing to commit mass infanticide for a woman and child they hadn't verified the existence or identity of at the time, would have accepted him within their ranks and turned a blind eye to that information when it eventually, inevitably surfaced. That Ace can find salvation from the people who stole every loved one he ever had before he was even born, who slaughtered his mother's community and pushed her to her death, and were slavering at the opportunity to kill her. That even though Ace was born in direct opposition to them, has had a target trained on him before he was born, these people who tried so goddamn hard to kill him would surely welcome his presence and not murder him the second they found out if he could just be a compliant model soldier and make himself useful. It's hammered home pretty effectively–especially in the manga– and One Piece has never been known to be subtle in its messaging, but I swear to God I see so many people echoing the notion that Garp's attempts to force his grandchildren into serving the Evil Empire was done because he knew was their only shot at safety from the WG, and I fucking despise this take. Ace saying that he could never be a marine here in Impel Down isn't some young man's rationalization for his (beyond valid) desire not to subscribe to the preset path Garp laid out for him; it's literally the only logical conclusion if you know literally anything about the circumstances of his birth and upbringing, and Garp only thinks that the leopards wouldn't eat Ace's face because he's fucking delusional This in and of itself is extremely telling of how horribly warped Garp's perception of the Navy is, and how deeply he's willing to buy into the Marines and their warped propaganda no matter how many glaring examples he sees throughout his life that counter his worldview, but let's not forget that this applies to Luffy too. This is slightly hairier, in that if Luffy was a) the sort of person who could willingly accept a career in the marines and b) managed to cling really, really tightly to his grandfather's coattails and legacy, there might have been a very, infinitesimally small chance that he could have joined the Navy. The higher ups know that Dragon is Garp's son and therefore Luffy is Dragon's by logical inference, but I could see some AU where Luffy is a fundamentally different person and manages to build himself up in the Navy if not for two things I think warrant examination. It's pretty evident, and Dragon explicitly confirms, that Luffy being known as his son would have put him in incredible danger, only feeling comfortable with acknowledging it and the possibility of actually reuniting with his child after Luffy was both publicly recognized due to factors beyond his control, and proved that he was more than capable of holding his own. But I want to draw attention to this one otherwise pretty silly little gag moment between Garp and Sengoku when they learn that Luffy's broken into Impel Down, and present a theory that's kind of a reach but also not really

Now the phrasing here kind of interests me, in that it ties back to earlier demonstrated patterns that the Navy uses repeatedly in collective punishment for the families and loved ones of their primary targets. Rouge and Ace barely escaped the mass murders intended for them because of their connection, but Tom was also originally sentenced to death for having had a connection to Roger, and ultimately chose that as the offence he wanted to be sentenced for at Enies Lobby. Law, as a child survivor of Flevance, has multiple hospitals try and turn him in to the World Government to be killed when Cora tries to find someone to treat him because their policy is to pull out the roots and salt the earth whenever they deem a person or population politically inconvenient. Robin's flashback shows us Akainu blowing up a refugee boat on the off chance that one of those people that they were planning to evacuate might have gotten past their initial screening for archaeologists/poneglyph readers. At Marineford, Akainu specifically targets Luffy not because of his prior offences or even his attempt to rescue Ace, but because he's Dragon's son and his and Roger's bloodlines need to be eradicated. This is not an institution that is in any way reluctant to destroy anyone tangentially affiliated to a designated enemy, and Luffy being the son of the worst criminal in history seems to put him right in line with all of those other cases. In light of this, and Garp's massive blind spots and wishful thinking regarding his peers and employers, it's not that much of a stretch to assume that the only reason Garp's exempt from being targeted like Dragon is because of his popularity/symbolic importance/utility, and that Luffy likely wouldn't have been safe even if he weren't a pirate. Garp's circle of confidantes/friends in high places is powerful, but clearly there are factions (Akainu, Ryokugyu etc) that would be substantially less willing and who are given preferential treatment by the Elders and Celestial Dragons. There might be something to read into based on the fact that Garp is the only known person from a D bloodline who's achieved massive success in service to the World Government and not defected from the Navy after realizing its true nature (props to Saul), and therefore he might project the fact that he's been rewarded by the system despite being a "sworn enemy of the Gods" onto his family, but that still doesn't account for the massive, delusional arrogance he displays in insisting that, despite everything–especially, especially the murders committed in pursuit of Ace, that robbed him of his birth mother and community–the Navy is the best and safest place for either of those boys. TLDR Garp not wanting his grandsons to have a bounties on their heads is one thing, but it says a lot that in spite of everything he knows, he's willing/determined to put Ace and Luffy in an environment that's extremely dangerous for them –and in Ace's case 100%, unquestionably fatal– because he's so convinced that compliance and the platonic ideals of "justice" and military service/hard work being rewarded by the system could supersede all of that.

[maaken]

how Lev Haiba kisses?

A LEV HAIBA HEADCANON

i think his kisses are curious and innocent, but then theyre also eager, sometimes a little impatient but theyre very polite. he always asks too, the typical 'may i?' with pleading eyes like this "🥺", he has to cos everything he wants to do with you needs your full consent, he's a gentleman like that and we love a respectful man.

hes always open to new ideas as to changing up how you two can possibly kiss and make it as sweet as possible. he never gets tired of kissing you, and he cant get enough of it actually.

he acts like kissing you was something he hasnt been doing for the entirety of your relationship. like he treats every kiss as a first kiss, always so precious and endearing, leaves him flushed like an idiot with swollen lips but a face so happy.

you could practically see an imaginary tail wag behind him. he's actually a golden retriever raised by cats. he never gets used to kissing you so hes always so excited. he's like a three year old, deprived of kisses and would ask for more and more, and you give in. you cant exactly ignore his pleas, and who wouldnt want to give kisses to your overgrown 6'5 baby when he's asking so nicely. whenever you two are done he takes a while to recover himself, he's always burying his face into the crook of your neck afterwards, inhaling your scent.

you are his comfort space, you are like his favorite pillow that he likes to bring around as a child. you cant blame Lev for being as adorable as this ever since you found out he has been bullied before. why on earth would anyone want to pick on this poor baby? you would think to yourself and vow yourself in silence to protect him at all costs despite the 40cm difference between you two in height.

A/N: i'm actually 5 flat so that makes me 150cm and hes up there 196cm i am literally by his waist this is beyond absurd.

i made this on a whim cos i just could not stop thinking about moy lyvochka in the middle of the night, like i literally cannot shut up about him.

i recently got back to my haikyuu phase due to the hype about the dumpster movie and i got dragged into it and i started missing haikyuu and i thought i'd be back in my stupid kei tsukishima phase but no, boy was i wrong— when i took notice of this sweet sweet tall baby from nekoma i could not take my eyes off him.

[remuslupinslefteyebrow]

The Infantilisation of Aziraphale and Why It’s Such An Awful Thing.

Hii there, I'm Teddy and um this is my yap because this is a very close to my heart subject as you probably will be able to tell upon reading. Sorry if theres any repeated points or errors, I did my best to edit it. Anyways, enjoy! <3

The infantilisation of Aziraphale undermines his whole personality as an age old being, one who is incredibly powerful, strong, and intelligent. Far from infantile, he's made rational decisions and at times let his emotions influence them, yes, but this is no way an excuse to chalk him down to childish. Infantilising Aziraphale also jeopardises his relationship with Crowley, someone just as old and intelligent as he is, yet he is rarely infantilised. Although Aziraphale’s decisions may be more ‘pure’ than Crowley's, influenced by his ideas of rules and obligation, pushed on him from his very creation, they don't display naivety or the foolishness depicted in many infantile decisions. (for the most part)

People often infantilise him to purposefully further the effeminate, ‘cutesy’ stereotype of gay men, specifically gay men that don't necessarily conform to society's very strict beauty constructs whether it be through age, appearance, nationality, disabilities all these things can affect it. 

A lot of gay men face either infantilisation or hypersexualisation and the way some of the good omens fandom treats Crowley and Aziraphale is exactly this stereotype.

They strip down the personalities of crowley and Aziraphale to something that may be only  a small fraction of their personality, like Aziraphale’s softness being turned into this shy, mouse of a person, relying on crowley for everything, helpless, pathetic, crowley’s sometimes suave, cool manner turning him into a ice-cold, smooth-talking often masochistic alpha male fucking sex god. Neither of them are these things. 

The fandom also tends to deliberately remove Crowley's femininity which historically has been a large part of his character, just look at his portrayals throughout the years. Like why? All for the sake of some Colleen Hoover style fuck boy?? Hell to the fucking no.

They often turn Crowley into a total slut as well, mindless and perpetually horny, neither of those things is he, especially not mindless. He’s proven himself to be clever, cunning and wily, as per his demonic heritage, but tends to do things a little…. Undemonically. 

Oh well.

Aziraphale’s femininity, his softness and joy, his purity isn't an excuse to reduce him down to singularly those things. He is a well rounded character, with so many layers of personality and history and all these things that if you take away these elements it's no longer Aziraphale. It might as well be someone’s random OC. (well technically he’s Neil Gayma- ahem i mean Gaiman’s oc but yk elementary, my dear Watson)

The points people tend to zone in on in their quest to baby their dear sweet Aziraphale who ‘must be protected at all costs’ are usually these:

His innocence, particularly about human culture (though admittedly he knows more about certain things than even crowley does)

His love of soft, sweet things

His emotional dependence on crowley

is reluctance to rebel against authority

His politeness

People forget Aziraphale is completely capable of defending and taking care of himself. He’s not your ‘uwu soft boy’ who needs to be looked after. No, he’s far from that. The whole ‘infantilisation thing’ is also just an excuse to dumb down and baby gender-nonconforming people which in itself is atrocious. As my very good co-writer Kris said, he’s “the angel of the fucking eastern gate for crying out loud.” He wields a flaming sword, can produce strong miracles and can resist temptation. Oh, did I mention he also helped avert a whole FUCKING APOCALYPSE??? AS IN. END OF THE WORLD. FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. OH NO, BOOHOO, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE TYPE APOCALYPSE?????????? HMM?

HIS KINDNESS IS ALSO WORTH NOTING.

He's also proven himself to be perfectly capable of making his own decisions with his own mind, has proven himself to have a conscience, a strong sense of right and wrong that he formed partly alone, sometimes deviating from heavens set ‘code’ for beliefs and behaviour, has proven himself to be able to deal with the guilt and confusing emotions (to a certain degree) that come alongside with finding yourself deeply involved with someone that you know the very institution that created you despises. 

Aziraphale’s sense of fashion and general propriety  also furthers the ‘effeminate’ stereotype, making him seem overly vain and prudish, he can be these things, he can sometimes even be petulant, but this further proves his well rounded character as being shown to display a wide range of emotions.

Using direct quotes from the book here are some lines people may use to zone in on Aziraphale’s femininity, and then of course, you find another reason for his infantilisation. (Women are dumbed down and infantilised, OBVIOUSLY.)

Aziraphales effeminate qualities:

“Aziraphale spread his elegantly-manicured hands.”

“Tartan is stylish.” 

“Angels had certain moral standards to maintain and so, unlike Crowley, he preferred to buy his clothes rather than wish them into being from raw firmament. And the shirt had been quite expensive.”

“Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.”

Aziraphale has also been shown to be able to be thoughtless, careless and at times even selfish. 

In season one, a dove used for magic dies in his coat pocket due to his thoughtlessness, though he ressurects it soon after its discovery. 

I ALSO FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DESPISE WHEN PEOPLE TWINKIFY AZIRAPHALE.

LIKE.

WHY.

His appearance goes hand in hand with his character. It HIGHLIGHTS elements of his character. He’s gluttonous. A quality we shouldn’t really see in an angel, but regardless we do. Because of this quality, he's plump. And? This doesn't affect his personality or character and is in fact still essential to it. 

His vanity affects his appearance greatly. He’s said to have soft hands, ‘neatly manicured’. He typically doesn’t grow facial hair, opting for a clean shaven rather cherubic appearance. We know he greatly prides himself on his clothes, keeping them in pristine condition for hundreds of years, taking painstaking care with them. We see him greatly disappointed in season one when his jacket is shot by a paintball and he’s reluctant to wash or even magically remove it because he’ll ‘still know it’s there’, so in the end Crowley removes it for him, after which Aziraphale seems quite satisfied. He doesn’t mention about ‘knowing it’s still there’. Gay much.

We keep seeing qualities in Aziraphale that aren’t usually typical or desirable in an angel, adding more layers to his character and personality. If he didn’t have these things, he’d be like any other angel we see. 

These angels aren’t necessarily cruel, or callous, or mean. They have no concept of such things. They simply follow orders to the extent they do not question or care what the thing is they’re being ordered to do. They don’t have an internal moral battle over whether this is right or wrong. They don’t believe that their actions could possibly be wrong or misguided because they literally take God at his every word. Get an order, complete it. Simple as that. 

It’s because of the traits he’s developed by himself over time that make him so likeable. Do you honestly think he’d be popular at all without these things? Then how can he be stripped of these things so frequently people are starting to forget his original character completely? It’s such a shame.

In fact he really isn’t a very good angel at all. He’s far too human. But you see, that’s what makes him so powerful. He does have a conscience. It influences him. He has a sense of right and wrong. He rebels, because he thinks. He thinks and therefore he decides things are wrong. And he decides not to obey those things.

Off topic as I round my points up:

In reference to the appearance quirks of the angels, someone in a reddit post three years ago (user has been deleted) put it wonderfully:

“I believe that the gold make-up and highlights on Uriel and Michael’s face, Sandalphon’s diamond-studded grill with a crucifix, and Gabriel’s violet eyes were design choices to communicate their ethereal natures to the audience.

The way they did this with Aziraphale are his white outfits, gold angel themed jewellery, the cherubic curls, but most of all, his halo. The director put a lot of effort into always backlighting Aziraphale’s blond hair to give the appearance of a halo, as well as placing him in well lit areas. The result is that Aziraphale practically glows in every scene he’s in. Michael Sheen put a ton of light into Aziraphale’s smile as well, in a way probably no other actor could have done.

If we’re going to settle on something as an ethereal quirk for Aziraphale, it’s his radiance.”

Anyways, thank you so much for reading this giant yap, I’m very honoured. 

anyways gang this is the other half of this post written by my very good friend, Kris. ( @anth0ny-c0wl3yy )

Enjoy! <3

[imagionationstation]

Wha…?

Holy… Holy mother of mutations, that is a lot. This… Is a lot.

I don’t even know where to start? I was just told a bunch of aggressive facts, but none of them are followed with proof or logic. They were just… said…

@thatturtlemenece is clearly very passionate though, so I’ll do my best to clear things up. 💚💚

“Splinter should not have kids be around kids”? I would like clarification on what this means before I touch on it.

I am so, so sorry to hear that you have gone through abuse, and that it’s hurt you in such a way that you see it in other places. But as someone who has a similar family dynamic to the turtles and can honestly say that I bear no ill will to either of my parents, and would choose my siblings over anyone else in a heartbeat… 

Nothing about this is abuse.

See it from his POV. You grew up as a human. You know exactly what the government could do to creatures they don’t understand, and that if anyone were to see your baby boys, that would be the last time you ever saw them again. The government would take them, experiment on them, hurt them- these defenseless creatures that you have been caring for are now in the hands of scientists from the horror movies who couldn’t care less if they live or die. 

Imagine having that in the back of your mind for years. Imagine looking at your baby boys for years, watching them laugh and mature and grow up, imagine having that weight of responsibility on your chest- that the very second any of them have been spotted, you will lose your babies to a cruel world that could never understand that they are just as much people as every human out there. 

Wouldn’t you want to do anything in your power to protect them? 

But he won’t be there forever. He could go out one night for food and something could happen to him. He could die. He could be captured. And his little boys would be scared and all alone and journey to the dangerous, chaotic, unforgiving and unpredictable surface world totally defenseless. 

You can’t prevent your death, but you can try to prevent theirs.

You grew up as a ninja. You grew up with the honor of your clan. If you train them, if you help them prepare for the world ahead- they won’t have to be defenseless. They don’t have to be in danger, or at risk. They will be able to protect them selves and grow up and maybe even be happy despite being the freaks the world sees them as. They could survive another day, even without you there to help. 

Are you really telling me that you would chose not to train them? That would leave their hands to fate and just hope that nothing ever happens to you? That these precious little mutants that you’ve fed and named and protected at the risk of your life- you’d neglect the training given to you by your father and hope for the best?

Choosing between their innocence and their lives could seem like a hard choice. But in his own words, “As a leader, you will learn there is no right or wrong. Only choices.”

So he trains them. Not because he’s abusive or hateful or wants to carry on some legacy, not because he is selfish above all else- but because he needs them to be safe and to live their lives without having to fear. His most selfish part in this is needing his boys to be safe at the cost of their childhood, and keeping them down in the sewers despite their yearning to see the rest of the world. 

Unlike what RISE portrays, ninja skills can’t be learned in a day. Or two. Or five. They take a lifetime of training. And he needs his sons to be ready for when the cruelties of the world reach past the safe bubble he’s kept them in. He doesn’t know when that could be, so he started when they are old enough to learn.

He has to. It doesn’t matter what he wants. It matters what they need. 

And they need a fighting chance to live. 

Okay. Now that I’ve laid that all out…

I don’t understand what comparison is being made here. I think you’re saying 18, 12, and 03 should have Child Services called? 

I am inclined to agrees on 18, but I’m sure not everyone would agree with me. I can’t completely vouch for 03, but I think(?) I disagree.

As for 2012- what the hacking shell? Why?

Because you think he doesn’t properly feed his kids? Because they are turtles and eat algae and worms?

Donnie, the genius of his brothers, grows it in his lab. His brothers help him to collect it, as it’s stated in Metalhead Rewired. I’m pretty sure that eating worms and alegra is like eating spinach for me. I hate the stuff. It’s disgusting and tastes like crisp paper. I can’t eat it without gagging half the time. 

But it’s good for me, so I have to eat it sometimes. That’s possibly what alega is for the turtles. They eat alega for dinner because it’s a safe, nursing food that Donnie cares for and grows in his lab. They have an endless supply of it, and for all you know, on their mutation day, they had a low supply of human food.

They can’t go to a store. They can’t have it shipped to their home. The boys are not allowed out of the safety of their home, period. Which means Splinter is the only one that can collect food. Collecting food for four growing boys while avoiding stealing as much as he can must take hours. He’s also shown to be an old rat, as he gets taken down hard whenever he battles anyone, often needing to heal for weaks at a time. 

Maybe they were being good sports about the alega and worms because they now how hard it is for him. My parents had weeks where we made the best with whatever we had simply because they hadn’t ran out to the store yet. Not because they were abusive and hated us. Simply because things came up or they felt unwell or they simply hadn’t yet. 

Maybe Mikey was trying to make the best of things with that cake (which I will note was completely Mikey’s idea). 

Maybe he’s not lazy. Maybe he’s just not as young as he used to be. 

Now this is all purely hypothetical, of course. We never see them eating it again, but a lot happens off screen that we don’t see. Donnie still has his alega pools in the second season, so perhaps they are eating it off screen. We see them drinking milk, having soda, and eating Roman- Splinter even has cheesecycles- when they aren’t eating pizza, and it’s never once said that April or even the boys get the groceries. 

My bet is that this is simply one of the things Splinter does when we don’t see him. 

Nobody is being high and lazy. I have never considered my mother high and lazy for making me eat a salad when I wanted a burger. As a human, salads was good for me, so I’ve eaten it. As turtle mutants, this is perfectly natural and healthy for them, so they eat it. Like a salad, but possibly not as tasty with ranch. 

Honestly, I find it beyond sweet that he’s willing to sit down and eat this with them. I doubt that’s necessary for his health, but he’s probably doing it for their sake. In this together. 💚🤎

“Have Raph deal with his mental health using CULT torture-“ 

HE DOES WHAT?! 

Okay, I have no idea what that means but my level of concern here is absolutely through the roof- where on earth is this coming from?? Ep name please??? 

“He is never supervising his kids not because he suffering from mental health but because as he has stated he is not there father and not there parent he is there teacher and that is ALL the responsibility that he holds meaning.” 

He said this?! Once again- ep name please??

I don’t understand. He says “my sons” in practically every sentence when he talks to them! I’ve heard plenty of people have this opinion and I just can’t understand it. I mean- yes, his sons call him sensei, because he is their sensei. When he was dying, they didn’t call him sensei, they called him “papa” and “father” because that’s who they all knew he was all along. 

We already established how he could see the world, and why he would start training his little boys in the ways of the ninja up above, so I won’t get into that again. (This is already super long…) 

He was their teacher, and as my parents have been my teachers in the ways of the world, I don’t see what’s so wrong with them calling him that. His biggest fears was that when his sons outgrew him, he wouldn’t be needed anymore.

A big part of his life was ninjitsu, as it is a big part of theirs, and losing that- losing them, terrified him to the point that he lost his control, and the Rat King was able to take over.

He is their sensei. And he is their father. Why is it horrible for him to be both? 

(Thanks for staying with me this far! I really hope you’ve been keeping an open mind. Much appreciated. Now, just a little more to go!) 

“There is not parental guidance when they see and hear something on the TV hence I’m not surprised Leo is into KARAI or Leo donnie and raph abuse mikey.”

No one abuses Mikey. There is no abuse here. At all. EVER. 

I can totally get into this later if anyone cares about my opinion on this matter (I know it’s going to be unpopular, but I do have reasons), but now is about Splinter. 

Teens watch inappropriate shows. That doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are to blame. Teens fall in love with bad people. That doesn’t necessarily mean the parents are to blame. (My parents raised us with high virtues and self-respect, and my older brother still chased after girls that were not good for him.) 

You can fall in love with a bad person who seems cute/flirty/nice. It happens no matter what shows you watch. 

Perhaps that could be considered a bad on Splinter. I’ll consent to that. But that doesn’t make him a horrible dad. 

“Splinter literally gave karai’s weapon away to April even thigh he KNEW where she was and never BOTHERED to try and get her back! Instead he LEFT her there to be abused and manipulated! And when she comes home he never hugs her or acts like a normal father that has a missing daughter!”

The amount of times this man stared despondently at this photo, visibly hurting and sorrowful because of the family he’ll never truly get back… How does that say doesn’t act like a father mourning his wife and daughter? He looks at it at some points specifically when thinking about Karai.

Also.

Splinter ‘never bothered’ to get Karai because he feared losing his sons in the process. This horrible father who only wanted soldiers (as some people tend to gossip) actually just wanted to do everything in his power to keep his little boys safe. Karai was raised by Shredder. She hated Hamato Yoshi with every inch of her being because he killed her mother. Karai might even kill the sons he spent fifteen years raising and teaching without a second thought.

He doesn’t know her like the viewers do. To him, she’s dangerous and unpredictable. He’s not going to chase down a child, even one with his blood, if it means he will lose his current family. 

Once again, a choice had to be made, and he made one. Maybe it wasn’t the right one, but no choice is inherently perfect. He chose to protect his family. He told them explicitly to stay away to keep them safe. He loves his boys, and won’t risk them for a girl who isn’t Miwa anymore.

To add onto that- Miwa is dead. Miwa died that night with his wife, the same way that Spike died the night he came in contact with mutagen. There is only Slash and Karai now, and they have paved their own paths. The child that he wanted to raise to use this tesson is gone no matter what he does. Karai fights with a wakizashi blade. 

She is her own person, raised in a time that he will never get to be a part of.

But he can train April. He can help protect their new addition to their family. He can offer this honorary Hamato sister the weapon that was meant to go to his Miwa. He has two daughters now, and neither of them are one that he raised. But he chooses to accept them as they are now. 

He lets her take the fan, and lets a new daughter into his heart.

As for never hugging her or acting as a father….

Just because he doesn’t act as you believe he should act, doesn’t mean he isn’t showing fatherly love and compassion- possibly the same way his father did. He loves her, and he is going to show it as only Hamato Yoshi can. 

….With tea parties, apparently 🤣

Again, Mikey is not abused. You can disagree. I don’t mind. I know it’s not a fan-favorite opinion, and I’ll just have to live with that. I don’t mind the hate (okay, maybe it hurts a little 😔) because I truly believe I am correct. 

If you’re willing to hear me out, let me know. I’d love to lay it out for anyone who’s willing to listen! 

[llondonfog]

This is such a weird, RANDOM, and long ask (more like a rant tbh), but I wanted to say something because I can't get it out of my head.

BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL SILVER.

Before you boo me, I COULDN'T HELP IT. I just, can't get it out of my brain.

Like, Lilia just wakes up one day, sees this mini horror in Silver's bedroom, and freaks out before realizing that IS Silver.

Everything he knew about Silver's parents is a lie.

Then, Silver transforms back, but part way, so he has these cute little wings with soft, white feathers, and Lilia just MELTS.

He's freaked out, amazed, confused, but he wants to comfort Silver, who is both confused and possibly in pain from the transformation. Growing wings seems painful.

Like, he had 6 wings (3 sets of 2) in the horror-fest form that is a Biblically Accurate Angel (I both encourage and warn you against searching that up lol), and now he has 2-4 wings (possibly with the feathers attached to his head as Seraphim Angels have. I think). Compared to his default human body, that's a big difference, right?

Anyway, I wanted to share this with someone. You don't have to do anything with this, or even respond, but THE IMAGE. I love Silver and he's already angelic, so might as well add a Horrifying version of that, AND pretty wings in the more "normal" version. I just can't write or draw my vision LMAO so I have to cope with sharing it instead.

BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL SILVER IM IN LOVE????

BABY SILVER WITH BABY ANGEL WINGS!!! oh they are so soft and fluffy, like dreams and clouds and silk all at once!! the imagery of him draping them over lilia while they nap or simply shielding him from the sun with one as he gets older....my heart!!!

And then considering the imagery of extremely pissed off biblically accurate silver protecting his loved ones against any who would seek to bring them harm!!! Absolutely terrifying to behold!! I don't know why I'm partial to the specific one of the large eye surrounded by countless wings but that's what I think of!! All those wings to sweep up and protect his loved ones, and more to deal out powerful blows of damage, with one dizzying aurora-hued eye that can seem like the most gentle gaze that allows you to simply bask in unconditional acceptance or the most horrific choking sense of inevitable judgement for what you've done against the word of good.

FANTASTIC CONCEPT I WISH I COULD DRAW IT

on the other hand, the thought of lilia being in such awe and wonder of his child, this pure and innocent being who has been granted to him, who loves him unconditionally and uses his powers to make lilia's life kinder and easier as silver tries to take away the aches and pains and nightmares... I could see it verging into a cult of two territory; lilia being very protective and possessive of his son, the thought of throwing himself into service to protect the boy?angel?savior? at any and all costs, to be his knight in shining armor to keep him safe and unsullied from the world. silver becoming like this odd forest deity creature who pours his magic so willingly into the woods and gives freely to those that need his kindness, and his father is only too happy to kneel to him, renewed in his purpose to serve his benevolent, angelic son...

[artificialbreezy]

Choking - Fruity Four

AN: hi my babies!! i’m sorry for the delay!! this whole week (fuck it only being tuesday) had been very busy. but i promise regular posting will continue come tomorrow!! please keep in my mind, October 14-18 i will be not on like at all, or if i am very LITTLE since my wedding is on the 15th. i love you all vvv much, thank you for your patience!!!

CW: Dom/sub dynamic, steve x fem!reader, robin x fem!reader, eddie x fem!reader, nancy x fem!reader, pet names, degradation, mentions of the word slut, plz let me know if i missed anything

Steve

Steve found out accidentally one day tbh

you were at a party, and relatively tipsy

he’d go up to kiss you (bc let’s face it. Billy was looking at you like you were a piece of cake and he didn’t like that) and wrap his hand around your throat to pull you close and plop a wet, needy kiss to your lips

you moaned a little, quiet enough you thought Stevie boy didn’t hear you

He didn’t bring it up that night, held it in until the perfect timing

and today just so happens to be that timing

you were being a little mouthy today. talking back, arguing over small things, and snapping at Steve

which usually Steve would push aside because he knew how awful working at Family Video could be, but today as home as smooth as can be and he was not having it

“angel?” you’d look over to him and hum

“i’d suggest you’d lose that attitude you got. it’s not gonna end well for you if you don’t”

you’d just roll your eyes and continue putting away the tapes

by the time closing came around, Steve was beyond irritated

locked up the store, got in the car and you noticed Steve driving not towards your house, but towards his own.

“ Steve. Where are we going? I thought you were taking me home?”

“We’re going to my place sweetheart. I called your parents and told them you’d be with me tonight so they’re not worried. Now please, be a good baby for me and be quiet until we get home.”

he’d pull in his driveway, open your door for you as always, put his hand on your lower back and gently push you towards the front door

once you guys were inside though, all bets off. that door closed and Steve had you against the wall, hand around your throat, squeezing just enough for you to understand what he was getting at

“You think i’m just gonna let you get away with being a brat all day?” he’d chuckle before he continued speaking. “Now angel, why would I do that? Did you think I didn’t notice the way you reacted the first time my hand was around your throat? How you looked so desperate and needy for me? Silly baby. Now why don’t you get on your knees and show me how sorry you are, hmm?”

Robin

Robin 100% is a secret kinky lady and when she first met you - her kinda metal head sweetheart. she felt much more comfortable sharing those things

your first date, you had a clue. Robin was a nervous nelly, a shy baby. you knew you had to protect her at all costs

at this point, she’s your lil baby and you’re her mama bear

she calls you bear, you call her birdie. which to everyone around you, it sweet and innocent

but behind closed doors, little ole Robin loves being told what to do

that smart mouth that’s always going, is suddenly gone and she just wants to please you

so one day you got her laying on your bed, doe eyes looking up at you

“please…”

“please what Rob?”

she’d groan, she hates when you use her name when it’s just you two

“please mama, need you.”

“you need me, sweet girl? need me where?”

she’d have tears in her eyes, barely able to speak

you’d reach your hand down, and gently wrap it around her neck

press a soft kiss right below her ear and squeeze a little harder

“cmon baby, i know you go a little dumb with my hand around your throat. but gotta tell me what you want. can you be my best girl, and tell me?”

she tries to speak, but your grip on her throat tightens

“course you can’t, silly baby. don’t worry, i always know what your sweet self needs”

Eddie

scary, big eddie

well everyone thinks he’s scary, except Hawkins high Alum, cheer captain that taught Chrissy Cunningham all she knows.

now, Eddie’s into casual dominance. he’s sweet and spicy

you break a rule or even act in a way that’s not polite or sweet - because “my precious girl needs to know her manners”

he’ll take you over his knee so fast

or his hand around your throat, while he’s pumping in and out of you at such a slow rate you think you’ll die

today was one of those instances, he was teasing you reeeeaaalll bad

you’d have tears in your eyes, bucking your hips up just to feel something

he’d chuckle at you - which lets me real, man would make anyone hide if he laughed at you like that

“such a needy girl. what? your cunt feel empty? need more?”

you’d just nod, because you knew he’d tighten his grip around your throat

“pathetic. my little, pathetic slut. too bad you can’t” he’d thrust back into you, “fucking” thrust again, “act”, he’d pull out again and stay out this time, “right”

Nancy

Nancy, I feel would be a pretty solid switch. More Dom but sometimes subby

Dom Nancy, LOOOOVEEESS making you squirm. whether it be, soft touches, or suggestive comments

Sub Nancy, LOOOVVEESS being told what to do, how to please you. She listens real well

but rn we’ll talk about sub Nancy (dom nancy will come sooooon)

she’s a sucker for your dirty talk

you know how to make her feel small

you’d be between her legs, pressing soft kisses against her thighs every now and then placing a kiss on her clothed cunt

she’d be whiny at this point, just wants to feel you

“baby please, do something. anything.”

now, Nancy has 100% choked you but you’ve never done it to her

“anything?”

she’d nod down at you

“okay sweet girl, you keep sitting there all pretty. i’m gonna try something, if you don’t like it - remember three taps and i’ll stop, okay?

she’d smile at you as you stood up, “okay!”

with that, you’d lean down and press a sweet kiss to her lips

slowly deepening the kiss, she’d melt right into it too

your leg was pressed against her core, and she took it as an invite to try to grind against you. just to feel you, even a little bit

you’d slowly drag your hand to her neck, and squeeze just a little. not too hard

you could tell just from the way she grounded against and the gasp she let out

“oh sweetie, look at you. actin like a little slut. you like this huh?”

[softhoursofateezandstraykids]

Types of boyfriends-With Stray Kids-Han and Felix (Pt.2,next up: Seungmin and I.N)

ℌ𝔞𝔫-

-Would sing you your favorite songs-literally ANY song you like, dude would learn it and sing it for you, Afterall you are his little lovely baby!!!and he would do anything to make you happy

-goofy-during your periods/sad days, he would try to cheer you up by making you laugh and tell you some jokes or joke about the members and their goofiness (dude would be giving you all the tea-)

-very soft person-but at the same time he is a very sensitive person, he needs you by his side when he gets his panic attacks, would probably seek comfort in you and cuddle you

-song writing-he would take your opinions on some of his songs as you would help him in producing, would write songs about you, and would sing them to you

-VERYYYYY clingy and touchy person-would ENGULF you in a hug- and kiss you all over your face and neck

𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼-studio dates-ordering takeout as you settle on the couch with a blanket over you as you snuggle in it and watch him work on his desk as he makes the next top bangers for stray kids, as you guys laugh about some incidents and jokes, sneaking in some suggestions to improve his music as you lovebirds bond.

𝔉𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔵

-SUNSHINEEEEEE-boy is a radiating, bright ball of energy!!your darkest days brightened by his one smile (and if you're lucky, you might get his signature tasty brownies too!!!mmh!yummy!!!)

duality-imagine a nice morning, you're cooking breakfast *innocently* ,humming and moving your body to your favorite song, when suddenly you felt 2 arms snake around your waist and a deep voice mumbles in your ear "hey princess, good morning...what are you making?". You felt turned on of course but hid your intentions well (yall horny peeps imagine the rest)

-really good baker and cook-COOKIN LIKE A CHEF,5-STAR MICHELIN-no words left-

really soft-SOFTEST GUY TO EXIST-SO ADORABLEEEEEEEE, he would just take care of you like his princess, best boyfriend ever! PROTECT THIS MAN AT ALL COSTS-

𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼-Home baking date-baking cookies or brownies, would help you with everything so you don't get messy, would snake his arms around your waist and guide your arms and hands as you both whisk the batter together, would do most of the hard work as he wouldn't want you to hurt or burn yourself accidently

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

authors note-this is my first time writing this and I hope you like this!FYI!!these are my opinions, i'm sorry if I offended or hurt anyone, I didn't mean to, lastly, thank you and see you next time!!!

next part will be of Seungmin and I.N!!

#stray kids#christoper bang#bang chan#skz channie#lee know#lee minho#minho#skz changbin#seo changbin#changbin#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#skz hyunjin#han jisung#skz jisung#han quokka#dwaekki#felix#lee yongbok#skz yongbok#lee felix#skz felix#skz#seungmin#kim seungmin#jeongin#yang jeongin#i.n#skz seungmin#skz i.n

14 notes

[someone-save-vlad-king]

1-B Sibling Headcanons, Pt. 2

My thoughts on the characters have changed since my last post, LMAO. I also wanted to be more thorough this time, since the first version was a bit minimal.

Awase: Dude's a middle child. One older brother, one younger brother. They get along well enough, but they also bring out each other's pettier sides.

Kaibara: He has a younger sister who loves ballet, the color pink, and other such girly things. Unfortunately for Sen, she's also a master of insults. He can't fight back because she's like twelve. :(

Kuroiro: The youngest of three boys.

Kendō: She has a younger brother who, like her, isn't the most gender conforming. He's also really good at nail art.

Kodai: A middle child like Awase, though she's got sisters instead. Her older sister is into some shady business...

Komori: She has an older brother. Unlike her, he's quiet, keeps to himself, and is something of a bookworm.

Shishida: The youngest of three, with an older sister and an older brother.

Tsunotori: She has a younger brother. I dunno, I kinda wanted to go against the idea that she's this innocent baby who must be protected at all costs — but I digress.

Tsuburaba: Not a youngest sibling, somehow. He has an older sister who's in college, a younger brother, and a younger sister.

Tokage: An identical twin sister who goes to Shiketsu. I'll leave it at that — I've got fic ideas for her. 😈

Fukidashi: Also not a youngest sibling, somehow. Since he likes making kids smile, I figured it'd be appropriate for him to have two younger siblings. They're fraternal twins and are about ten.

Honenuki: The oldest of three boys. It's part of why he's so good at reworking plans on the fly.

Monoma: He's got an older sister who's in college.

I need to reiterate: While I was looking for a name for her, I came across 子子子.

Yanagi: She has an older sister named Yūko, taken from the yūrei.

Rin: He has a fraternal twin sister.

The rest — Kamakiri, Shiozaki, Shōda, Tetsutetsu, and Bondo — are only children.

[reginarubie]

The Dance has begun. I can understand Sansa, as for why she feels so small again, calling out to her real family even more desperately — if only these people knew what was coming, just like she does! And right now she's not that Little Bird, she's a fighter and she won't run. I love this girl and how full of compassion for other people she is. She knows that innocents are going to be sacrificed for literally nothing. Alicent does too, but she blindly prays for salvation because opening her eyes would kill her. Rhaenys does too, but... I mean, this lady has issues. Or maybe she's just THE Targaryen and it is ✨fine✨ for them to think like that. Ugh, cringe bitches, both her and Rhae — Laenor deserved better, just like Symon does, though he's got something better than he hoped for. Ned is saving him just as much he & his fam saved her from Larys. *In Aemond's voice* It's a fair exchange. And oh no Rhaenys, don't you compare Lady Whent to your spoiled cun..ning niece. Ugh, I can't stand her in any universe, sorry. One more proof you got all the characters so well! But enough of the Blacks, my Green boys! Sansa is definitely all of us watching THAT scene 🤣 Despite it's being a fight scene it's absolutely heartwarming and I was happy to experience a better version of it. Aegon and Sansa need to chat more Imao, it's sending me 😜

But Aemond, babe, your plan! It wasn't that bad. Almost as okay as Daeron becoming a king in F&B. However, their loyalty to Aegon is here again to ruin the day. Loyalty is a great thing but did any of you except Niddle listen to Aegon himself? HELAENA MY DEAR SHE'S HAVING SUCH A BAD TIME WITH ALL THIS BULLSHIT. Cousin Ned is there for you to feel valuable 💜 I hope Cole mentions that it was Ned's idea, the crown.

Also... One more hint on the possible third team... The Starks + Firesteel? Would be perfect 🥺 Waiting for the Storm's End. Hope Ned does something to Aemond's anger issues hehe... But even if Luke doesn't die, something tells me the Blacks still won't be satisfied. Either way, may Lady Stark survive them all once more 😈

Ciao Anne!,

As always thank you for your review it’s amazing!

Rhaenys is still a Targaryen to the core and she has her own plan, she doesn’t trust Rhaenyra one bit, but she has her plan and won’t be standing down about it. Her girls need to inherit Driftmark and their children — Laena’s grandchildren — to sit on the Iron throne for her revenge to be complete, also, it felt fitting with the way she acted with the attack to the Sept that Rhaenys would be like “The Realm ain’t my responsibility since they rejected me. Now they pay the price”

Aegon is very aware that he is not fit to rule — maybe he might have been but his issues are all over the place — and he knows Ned is more clever than she lets on, he has seen it, and he’s a little spoiled shit anyway. So ofc their interactions would be fun 😂😂😂 he be like “Where’s ya husband, cousin?” a jab to her and Aemond alike and then be like “Ya know, I know, the Seven know. Are you more attached to reality than these idiots?”

Helaena is a baby and she must be protected at all costs, and Sansa is there for it. In the book it was Alicent and Helaena both who talked Aegon out of full war and convinced him to offer her peace terms. So she’s much more involved than the show made her — terrible really so we’ll see more of her. Sansa’ll make sure of it!

Aemond’s contingency plan wasn’t that bad, and it took into account several issues… still could the Greens claim to be better than the Blacks if they fought an intestine war between themselves? No. They love each other, they’re loyal — never forget Aegon commissioned ginormous statues of his brothers, Aemond never took the throne though he acted as Prince Regent and Daeron actually throw wine in the face of the lord who dared suggest he stole his brother’s crown.

Like Alicent did one thing right, she made sure her children would be united and loyal and true to each other — we see that also in the private dinner scene in the show, Aegon shoulders Aemond in his speech and immediately is ready to throw punches when the Black kids come for them making sure to humiliate them by slamming their face in the plate — 😂😂😂.

Lady Stark is much stronger than anyone gives her credit for, much more clever than anyone gives her credit for and much more good and brave than anyone gives her credit for. She’s going to eat you all alive and make of you all her project to save the North and you will do it gladly because she asked nicely. 😂😂😂

That’s Sansa superpower. Her own brand of magic.

Thank you again for dropping by and for the amazing review!

As always sending all my love ~G.

[sometimes-icanstillhear-sitboy]

Cheers to the New Year! Here's some plot bunnies to keep you warm.

PAST PLOT BUNNIES:

Direction, Sacrifice, Childhood, Mental Health, Wish

LGBTQ+, InuKik, InuKag, KagKog, MirSan, General

Direction, Headcanon

Holiday, Winter, Random

VALENTINE'S DAY & ROMANCE:

Inuyasha wants to better himself so Kagome will love him. Badgers Miroku into teaching him how to read and write. Ever the mischievous monk, Miroku does teach him but he doesn't exactly tell Inuyasha that what he's writing is 'I love you' and not his name.

Three years of living on his own made Inuyasha very aware that he didn't know shit about shit when it came to living in a stable environment. Secretly proud of his accomplishments, Inuyasha nervously prepares Kagome a very simple dinner complete with meat he hunted and vegetables from his modest little hidden garden to ease her into the idea of marrying him. 'It wouldn't be that bad, huh?'

The gift Inuyasha got for Kagome was totally for Kagome and not really a gift for him at all. (Ex: 'What? You had a cat. Don't you like cats?')

With help from Sota, Inuyasha practices what he wants to say to Kagome while Mama Higuarashi secretly eavesdrops. It's all for naught though. Inuyasha chickens out and Kagome doesn't know this ever happened until she might never see him again.

After yet another encounter with the annoying yet always half-naked pretty boy Koga, Inuyasha very awkwardly tries to get Kagome’s attention by stripping off his upper layers and flexing every muscle he can to look more attractive. Everyone is confused and uncomfortable.

Inuyasha misunderstands the concept of Valentine's Day. Is initially overjoyed when given a gift - especially after eavesdropping at her school all day - but is left heartbroken when all of their friends get little gifts too. There's nothing special about him, is there?

Sango is suspicious when Miroku keeps going on exorcisms and coming back acting a little too innocent. Concerned that he's cheating on her, she follows behind only to discover that he's really doing something incredibly sweet. It just takes time and costs money he's been working to save up.

After the quest has ended and Kagome has returned, Shippo has got himself yet another little girlfriend but, unlike the others, she's a little cray cray. Can't shake her either and not even Inuyasha's attempts to scare her away work. At his absolute wits end, Shippo takes a risk and goes to Soten with a proposition. Winds up getting more than he bargained for.

Do you hear that? It's the winds of change:

New year, new me. Kagome decides she's going to cut her hair and change up her wardrobe. Inuyasha has a meltdown the likes of which no one has seen before. Turns out hair is more important to him than even he's comfortable admitting. 'Your hair is gone.' 'Yes, the hair is gone.' 'Why is the hair gone?'

Instead of whatever plot Yashahime is doing, Mohora, Inuyasha and Kagome are not separated. As she approaches the toddler phase, Mohora gets frustrated that her over-protective and hypervigilant daddy won't let her do anything on her own. Inuyasha has to learn that he won't always be there to protect her and he needs to teach her independence. Just not right now. She's just a baby dammit.

Being with Kikyo wasn't all bad. Especially in the beginning. Those were actually some of the best days of his life.

After his daughters are born, Miroku decides to give up sake for good. This is harder than he expects despite telling himself he didn't drink that often.

After being forced back into her time, Kagome struggles to readjust to a 'normal' life. There was nothing special about her here.

GENERAL:

I see dead people. Lots of them. All those dead people have started to show up as if they never left with no recollection of what happened or how they got here. Inuyasha and Sango really don't want to do anything about this.

Inuyasha can’t figure out whether he's awake or asleep. It's not all good or all bad but in either scenario, his life's gotten pretty extreme.

The new moon comes and the new moon goes. Inuyasha stays human when the sun comes out and proceeds to flip a shit.

Sango discovers caffeine.

AU:

Earth is dying. Humanity nears extinction. Some well-intentioned aliens kidnap the survivors to bring them home unaware that - like Superman - on their planet humans get superpowers. This pisses off leadership.

No one remembers why the walls were built, no one wishes to leave either.

Kagome falls in love with an immortal who finds her each lifetime. Shes find this out by stumbling across a photo album of all his “exes” who all look like her carbon copy. Looks like they all died super early and horribly too. Weird.

Inuyasha and Kagome are vampires who've been friends forever. One day while Kagome is visiting a museum, she comes across a letter written in his distinctive handwriting and immediate picks up the phone. 'What the hell? You've loved me all this time!' 'What are you talking about?!' 'Those stacks of letters you donated fifty years ago? They're on display!' 'Oh.'

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

Cylas, 24, pointing at Darrell and Red: these are my precious innocent baby boys who have never done anything wrong in their lives and need to be protected at all cost

[yunho-1999]

My Oh My

pairing: badboy!jeno × fem!reader (ft. Jaemin)

words: 8.9k+

summary: Your boyfriend Jeno is the worst influence you could ever have, but you're way too deep to leave him. So you give up everything to be with him. Even your self worth.

genre: smut

warnings: drug use, drug addiction, fight, double penetration, oral (m receiving), chocking, slapping, dubcon, rough sex, alcohol consumption, drunk sex, dubcon, cursing, nicknames, degrading names, dacryphilia, dumbification, creampie, anal, and probably more that I don't remember

Jeno Lee. Your infamous boyfriend. He was a little bit older, always wearing a black leather jacket. He had a bad reputation. And insatiable habits. But you managed him pretty well. As he always said, you were the only one that could fulfill all his fantasies. His perfect girlfriend. The one he would protect at all costs. So you would stay with him for as long as he wanted. And even if he protected you and kept you safe, your mom still didn't trust him.

One thing that was obvious about Jeno was his jealousy towards you.

So when you entered the party with a short black bodycon dress he immediately looked at you with a frown. It took one look, and you couldn't breathe. Feeling like you fucked up big time. His eyes told you everything. Not only his, but his friends too. As they were also staring directly at you like a prey. You would never admit it out loud, but that made you feel like the hottest person at the party. And you fucking loved that.

He left his red cup on a random table, walking straight to you, making you feel extremely intimidated. His gaze on yours, making sure you knew how serious he was at the moment.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he gripped you by the waist pulling you closer to his body. "w-what do you mean?" you faked innocence, batting your eyelashes at him like a dumb bimbo.

"Don't act stupid with me y/n. Or I'll make you regret your choice right here. In front of everyone." his hands moved to your ass, giving it a tight squeeze. You couldn't help but whimper, your plump lips forming a pout. 

"B-but I didn't do anything wrong" you kept your act, wanting to see how long he could take it "You didn't? So showing up in a slutty dress isn't wrong? Your ass is barely inside that fucking thing. If you bend over everyone would be able to see everything. Do you want that huh? I bet you do. You naughty girl. Where did my good girl go?" he tilted his head at you.

"I swear on my life that I've been a good girl. Your good girl. I always am." you held onto his shirt, making the boy smile widely. His hand caught your face and he leaned closer "I think I need to really make sure you're still my good girl, what do you think?"

"I think that if you kiss me, I may let it happen" the confidence in your voice broke that cute little facade you were trying to portray. But right now, you didn't care. He clicked his tongue and went closer. He made sure people were looking at the two of you before pressing his lips against yours.

The kiss was short but intense, getting you all rilled up for almost nothing. And he knew. He knew how to make you melt. How to break you down on every possible way. He had you right where he wanted. 

He pulled away from you slightly before heading to the nearest room. Pushing you to the wall once both of you were inside. "You like to see me all rilled up don't you? Acting all innocent and dumb, when you're nothing like that" his hands pinned your body to the wall behind you, so you couldn't move at all. "Maybe I should fuck you so hard you actually become dumb. Would you like that baby?" his hand caressed your jaw and you nodded almost instantly.

"Yes, please. Please Jeno, fuck me."

Those words were more than enough for him. He immediately attacked your neck, leaving wet kisses all over it. Loving the way your body reacted to him. His kisses started to get lower, reaching your cleavage. A trail of purple and red marks left behind. Making sure that everyone would see them afterwards. You were his. And absolutely every single person needed to know that.

His hands worked on your body, carefully taking off your dress. Because as much as he didn't like you wearing it in public, he did like the way it looked on you. And he would definitely make you wear it only for him.

"Fuck- you're so beautiful. My beautiful girl." his hand caressed your body. Making your heart beat as fast as it could. Jeno could seem like a big meanie sometimes, and yes, he did get in trouble and fights. But he wasn't like that with you. He turned into a completely different person. He just loved you too much to be like that.

"Mine. Say it. Say you're mine." he stared into your eyes, somehow looking desperate, like he needed to hear those words.

"I'm all yours Jeno. No one else's. Only yours." You muttered close to his lips, your hands placed on both of his cheeks. This moment feeling way more intimate that what it was supposed to be. But you wouldn't dare complain. You absolutely loved it when moments like this happened. As they were pretty rare.

He kissed you once again, his lips in unison with yours. His teeth made contact with your lower lip and you couldn't help but part them, letting his tongue enter your mouth. You fought for dominance but soon lost the battle. He just made you weak.

Whenever his hands and lips where on your body you just couldn't help but let him do whatever he wanted to do. You were at his mercy.

His hands went to your bra, immediately taking it off. Wanting to touch every part of you, to feel you. And mark you. Make every part of your body his. But also let you know that every part of him, was yours.

He started delivering wet kisses all over your neck, until he reached one of your nipples. He sucked on it gently, enjoying how your body reacted.

"Jeno" you whimpered making the boy look up with a smirk. He went back to work, licking sucking and kissing all over your breasts. Your hands tangled into his hair and you tugged on it gently. Sending pleasure waves all over Jeno's body, and directly to his growing boner.

Both of you knew this foreplay wasn't going to last long, because not only he was desperate to be inside you, you were also desperate to have him inside you.

He asked you to jump and when you did he held you by the thighs, making you wrap your legs around his waist as he took you to the bed. While he was walking you decided to kiss his neck leaving little hickeys all over. 

"You're going to be the death of me" he whispered laying you down on the soft mattress. For a few seconds you wondered who's poor bed you were about to ruin. But those thoughts were immediately forgotten when one of Jeno's fingers thrusted into you.

He didn't even bother taking off your panties, just moving them to the side so he could get to your entrance.

One thing you noticed was that he was still fully clothed, making the whole situation seem unfair to you. So your hands made their way to the hem of his shirt pulling it so he would get the memo and take off everything.

"What's wrong baby?" he asked teasingly his head tilting to the side while his finger went deeper. The words didn't seem to get out of your mouth as you couldn't stay concentrated in something else that wasn't his hand. "Aww is my poor baby unable to talk already? I barely even played with you yet" his mocking tone made you frown and pout.

"J-jeno- please- need it. Please" you did your best to put on your puppy eyes. Staring at him with the most needy look you could pull off.

"Be patient needy baby" he whispered into your ear now shoving another finger inside of you, making you moan loudly. "If you're not patient I won't let you cum" he warned. Earning a whine from you.

"you're so fucking wet, I can't believe you got this turned on by how little I played with you" he laughed at you before pulling his fingers away. Licking all the clear wet arousal that you left on his hands.

"Can't wait to ruin this needy pussy" his words sounded almost as desperate as your look on him. Soon he got tired of waiting so he just took off his clothes and situated himself between your legs. Revealing his hard cock to you, looking as red and angry as ever. It was practically begging for attention.

He aligned his length in your entrance and pushed in without even warning you. The sudden stretch making you moan loudly, just like he liked it.

"Just like that baby, make everyone hear how good I make you feel" his pace was fast, not even giving you time to adjust. His hands gripping tightly on your sides. A grip so tight that would definitely leave red spots once his hands left your skin. It was like a little souvenir. Something that would make you remember this moment.

Jeno was always wild. No matter the situation. That was just his natural state. Being wild in whatever he did. That's why he got in trouble so often. He acted out of impulse, not thinking about the consequences. Like an animal.

"Fuck- always so tight aren't you?" it was a rhetorical question, so you didn't bother answering it. Right now you just wanted to focus on the pleasure he was giving to you.

Your hands went to his back, scratching the skin lightly. Making Jeno hiss in pain. That was definitely not because of you. As you barely applied any pressure. So that worried the shit out of you. Knowing that he probably had something there that he didn't tell you about. Now him not taking his shirt off until you were desperate made sense.

But you decided not to touch the subject right now. It wasn't the right moment, and Jeno would not answer you. He barely did anyways. At least when you talked about this kind of things. He just kept them to himself to not worry you. What he didn't know is that him doing that just worried you even more.

You were just afraid of Jeno hiding everything to himself until he couldn't handle it no more. Making him explode on you or his friends.

"You feel so good baby" his head was burried deep in your neck, his hot breath hitting your skin. Sending shivers all over your back. Drops of sweat rolled down your temples and soon reached the bed sheets. Your body temperature too high.

"y-you feel g-good t-too" you managed to said between moans, trying to let him know that you were enjoying it. Basically reassuring him.

His hips started moving sloppily meaning he was very close to his high, and you were too. So you let things take their pace until the tight knot that you felt on your lower abdomen just got untied. Pleasure washing all over your body like a cold wave. Making your thighs shake and your back arch. Good thing Jeno was there to hold you down.

After a few more thrusts he also came inside of you, the feeling of your walls clenching around him making it almost impossible to last any longer.

"You did so great baby. My good girl" he made eye contact with you, a weak smile appearing on your face "I love you" you muttered about to kiss him until you heard the door open abruptly.

"What the fuck Haechan!?" Jeno asked covering your body with the bedsheets before his friend saw you naked. 

"Jeno they're here. You need to get the fuck out of here before they come for you" his words came out slurred as he rushed them out. Making both you and Jeno confused. But for different reasons.

"Shit- Close the door. I'll get me and y/n dressed and then I'll just leave okay?" Haechan nodded and closed the door after leaving.

"What is he talking about?" you asked, not having an answer. A sigh left your lips as you were sitting up on the bed. "This can't keep happening Jeno..."

"I know y/n. I'm sorry" he mumbled before standing up. And when he turned around you saw exactly what made him hiss in pain. A big purple bruise covering almost all of the higher part of his back making you grimace. Not wanting to imagine what they did to him.

"Get dressed we need to leave. I know you probably wanted to enjoy the party, but I just can't leave you here. Not alone." you nodded and went to grab your dress. Quickly putting it on after your bra.

"Why are they after you anyways?" you asked while Jeno finished getting ready. He decided to put his jacket on you instead, engulfing your small figure with it.

"Jeno... It's not because of that is it?" your question was vague, but he understood enough. Enough to make him mad. Tired of all your questions. He wasn't in the mood of answering any of them.

"Stop asking so many fucking questions!" he yelled maybe a little too loud. Making you back up. "I'm sorry..." you mumbled turning away.

His hand held yours and he practically dragged you towards the door. But it was too late. As soon as he opened it a punch was delivered onto his face making you gasp in shock.

"Look who we have here. Is this your girlfriend?" the man held up your chin with his hand making you pull away instantly. Jeno standing in front of you now, protecting you. "She's too pretty for you" he said with a scoff.

"Anyways that's not why we came here for. Where the fuck is my money Lee? You owe me almost 200$" they entered the room, closing the door behind them. Making you extremely anxious.

"I'll get it next week. I promise" the man laughed "That's what you said a few days ago remember? And I still haven't got my money." he was completely serious now, scaring the shit out of you.

"This time I'm being serious, I even got a part time job, next week I'm getting my first paycheck, and I'll pay. I promise I will" he reassured, trying to sound as convincing as possible. Because honestly he didn't even have a job. It was all a lie.

"Promises don't get anything done Lee. I'm just going to have to remind you that you have to pay on time. Or you suffer the consequences" he signaled his friends to go after Jeno, and they did.

Holding the boy in place before starting to hit him. It was three versus one, so Jeno couldn't possibly have the upper hand in this. As much as he tried to escape their hold and hit them back. He couldn't.

You could barely handle what was happening, tears streaming down your face as you tried your best to make this nightmare end.

"STOP! NO!" you yelled trying to pull away those men from your boyfriend to almost no avail. Jeno telling you to go. But you didn't plan on leaving, not without him.

Once again you tried to shove them away, fortunately this time they actually stopped. Not because you told them to. Just because their boss felt like Jeno had enough. He didn't want to kill him. At least not yet. 

When they left Jeno collapsed to the ground. Feeling miserable. He didn't want you to see him like this. He was ashamed. Embarrassed even. You were so precious to him, so making you go through something like this made him feel mad about himself. He felt like he didn't deserve you.

"Jeno..." you whimpered between sobs kneeling down besides his body. Your delicate hands cupping his face. "A-are you okay?" you shook your head at your stupid question of course he wasn't "I'm sorry, it's so obvious you're not. Oh God, I- I need to get something to cure the wounds. You can't stay like this" you wiped your tears away with one hand, not caring about your messed up makeup.

"Y/n don't leave... Please baby, don't leave" he managed to say, his hand gripping your wrist tightly "B-but y-you-" "y/n don't leave. Call Hyuck or Jaemin, I don't care, I just want you to stay here. I need you" he looked at you in the eyes, and you noticed how glassy they looked. He was holding back tears, and you didn't like that at all. You didn't want him to hide his feelings.

"I'll stay then" you mumbled before starting to search for his phone on the jacket you were wearing, frowning when you felt a plastic bag.

Taking it out you couldn't help but feel bad. A nauseous feeling invading your stomach once you saw the white powder that was ruining your boyfriends life.

Jeno sighed closing his eyes, not able to look at your expression. He knew you were disappointed in him. And most definitely disgusted. He was a failure, even to you.

"I'm so sorry..." his voice small, sounding scared, weak, defenseless. A side you barely saw of him. "I-i just wish you would stop Jeno... I don't want to loose you, you know?" you threw the bag somewhere on the ground. Wanting that to be as far away from you as possible.

"I know y/n, I know... But it's not fucking easy. I can't just stop out of nowhere" he answered harshly, already loosing his temper again "I didn't say it was easy Jeno... I just- never mind" you whispered your last words. Not wanting to make him angrier.

You searched in his jacket once again, finally finding the phone. Immediately you called Haechan, telling him to come over and help. Explaining what happened in hurried words. Not even you could understand everything you were saying.

Soon enough your boyfriend's three best friends came over, acting like this thing was more than normal.

Renjun was the first one to approach Jeno, a medical kit in his hands. He kneeled down besides him and started cleaning his bruises while the other two sat down on the bed.

"You need to start paying on time dude, I don't want you to die for this shit" Jaemin complained, picking up the bag you threw to the ground. "Or we can just share you know, between the three of us is easier to pay"

"He needs to stop." you answered frowning "the three of you need to. Is Renjun the only one that has common sense? That's going to kill you" you stood up and went towards Jaemin trying to take the bag from his hand. His grip on it was stronger than yours so you just kept pulling. Hearing a laugh coming from Hyuck's lips.

"Oh y/n, you're so cute. I get why Jeno likes you" you glared at Hyuck not knowing why he said that "What's that supposed to mean?" he laughed once again. Laughing at you. "You're too good. Trying to help everyone like a savior. You keep saying all of that, that we should quit and shit, but has Jeno stopped? No. You need to stop trying so hard y/n. We're just having fun. And this" he snatched the bag from both of your hands "this just makes everything more fun. So stop being a party pooper-"

"Haechan shut the fuck up." you heard Jeno say. He was now sitting down on the floor besides Renjun as they looked the scene of you three.

"Why should I? I'm not saying anything that isn't true" he shrugged his shoulders "It just frustrates me. She tries to act like a big savior when she has no fucking clue of what we go through. Do you think I would be using this shit if I was okay?" he looked at you now, his gaze uncomfortably mean, making you look away. "I- I just wanted to help... I'm sorry" you said your voice breaking. Making Jeno's heart ache.

"Well you can't. So stop fucking trying. It's annoying. You're worse than my mom" he rolled his eyes "But I- I just want to make everything better. Make you see that you don't need-" "Y/n shut the fuck up already!" Jaemin snapped at you and that was enough. You wouldn't stay there and let them treat you like that.

"I'm going home. It's not like you need me here anyways" the last sentence broke into quiet cries, tears falling to the ground. "No! Y/n don't leave!" Jeno tried to stand up, a groan of pain leaving his lips. "It's okay Jeno, don't go after her. It's not worth it"

"Can you fucking stop?! Stop talking for the three of us! She's my girlfriend and I care about her for fucks sake. I don't care if you don't like her. She's dating me. Not you. And she's just trying to help us dude. We need help. This shit is not healthy. All of this isn't. You should be greatful someone is trying to help you while you act like a fucking dick." he finally got up and walked towards you, hugging your body gently.

His head was placed on top of yours while you kept crying, not knowing how to stop. You just couldn't. Everything was too overwhelming. Hyuck's words resonated through your mind. Making you feel horrible.

"Shh... Everything will be okay. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry baby. I promise I'll quit. I'll do it for you. I promise." you wanted to believe him, you truly wanted to, but this wasn't the first time Jeno promised you that he would stop. He always said the same thing. And a week later you would see him using it again. He delivered empty words. Making it extremely difficult for you to believe any of it.

But you still tried. You wanted to give him another chance. Even if it was the fifth time. You still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

This love was like a drug, you knew it wouldn't end up well, but you still couldn't leave him. Maybe that's why Jeno never stopped. Somehow even if it hurt it was worth it.

"C-can we leave...? Please" you begged looking up at him. Jeno couldn't help but feel bad seeing you like that. Your eyes that usually looked lively, filled with sadness. Your cheeks slightly red from the effort of crying. And your makeup all ruined. His pretty girl was destroyed, and it was all his fault.

"Yeah. Let's go" he held onto your hand and just left the room. Without even saying goodbye to his friends.

"Rude" Hyuck mumbled rolling his eyes. "I still don't get why he's still with her. Wasn't she supposed be a one time fling?" he frowned making Renjun sigh. "Well it was. But he ended up falling for her. He told me that she was different. Like you know, usually, girls want to fuck Jeno and that's it. But y/n wanted to know him first, and not just simply have sex. She liked Jeno despite all the bad things they said about him. She didn't leave once she discovered his addiction. And now, they're together" he shrugged his shoulders. 

"That's cute and all, but she's so fucking annoying I swear" Renjun frowned at that, not liking Haechan's attitude "She's just being nice Hyuck. You should try to appreciate that. Because as she said, you all need to quit that shit." 

Renjun had absolutely given up on the task to make them quit. He tried. He really did his best to help them. But it was all for nothing. They didn't listen. One time he even tried to hide the drugs from them, but that just ended in a very bad fight. So he decided to stop trying.

But when he saw you so motivated to help his friends he felt a warmth in his heart. You were the right person for Jeno. Or at least that's what Renjun thought. He felt like you could actually end up helping him.

You definitely didn't notice but since Jeno met you he stopped being so dependent on drugs, more focused on you than anything. But he still couldn't quit fully. Because it was too hard. And sometimes that white powder was the only thing that got him through the day.

Your hand was holding Jeno's tightly as you walked towards your house. Finally calming down a little, feeling better. Maybe going to that party was a bad idea after all.

"Y/n..." you heard your boyfriend's soft voice call you, noticing a hint of concern in it "yeah?" you answered turning your head towards him "c-can I stay over your house...? I know your mother literally hates me, but I can't go back home. At least not today. Please" he pouted, knowing that was your weak spot.

"Well I don't know Jeno... I- I don't want to fight with my mom" you sighed "please baby, please. Just today, I swear it's only for today. I'm begging you baby please" he held both of your hands now making you stop walking.

"Jeno-" "Please baby, please please, pretty please?" once more he pouted his eyes looking like the ones of a lost puppy. You looked away, but it was too late. You already fell onto what felt like a trap to get you in trouble.

"Okay" you nodded and he smiled widely. His eyes forming two crecent moons. Making your heart skip a beat. You absolutely loved his smile, and it didn't matter how many times you saw it. You never got tired of it.

Once you reached your house you opened the door slowly, asking your boyfriend to not make any sound, as your mom was probably sleeping. But you were very wrong.

When both of you entered you saw the figure of your mom in front of you, her arms crossed, making you feel extremely anxious.

"Hi..." you mumbled waiting for her to say something the silence killing you "what is he doing here y/n? You know very well I don't like this boy" she frowned, and Jeno did the same. "Mom... we talked about this before... please just, give him a chance will ya?" You could feel the boy behind you come closer, now placing his hand on your waist. Something that didn't go unnoticed. Making your mother grimace.

"I've heard enough things about him y/n. And I don't want a fucking crackhead dating my daughter" her voice was harsh, mean, and you didn't like that at all. You hated when people were mean to you because it made you feel bad. But also, you hated when she talked like that about Jeno, he was your boyfriend. Not hers. And you liked him way too much to handle her saying these things.

You crossed your arms now, eyebrows furrowed "Don't say that. It's offensive. And also, it isn't true" you lied "people like to say things that aren't true just to make someone look bad" that was a poor excuse, but you really wished your mom would believe you. Jeno was too precious to you, and you would do anything for him. Even of it was lying to your own mother.

"Y/n I'm not stupid. People don't just lie about someone like that. They've seen him using drugs. And I know you've seen him too. You're just blinded by this that you call true love, but that's bullshit. Love doesn't exist." the last words hit you deep, your patience running out "just because dad left you doesn't mean true love doesn't exist"

"Y/n Y/l/n! How dare you say that to me?! Your own mother! This boy is ruining you, and I don't want him in my house! So you either leave him, or leave with him." her gaze was now on Jeno, making him feel extremely uncomfortable by this whole situation.

He didn't expect any of this to happen. And it made him feel like trash. Like he was ruining your life slowly. First it was your friends. They also didn't like him so they stopped talking to you. Then it was your studies. You always had good grades, until you started going out with him almost daily. Making it really hard to study. And now, it was the relationship with your mother. He didn't want this to end up badly. But at the same time he wished that you chose him over all. He wanted to be with you. So if you left him it would break his heart in the worst way. It would make him fall back into the deep hole he was trying to come out of.

"Can I at least go grab my things?" your mother's eyes and Jeno's opened up almost simultaneously, as they were surprised by your words.

"Y/n are you really doing this? For a boy?" your mother spoke still astonished. You nodded more than sure. "Yes. I am. If you can't accept my relationship with him, then I'll just leave." your words came out stronger than you expected. Well, no one expected you too say that. You had never rebelled against your mother like this. It was the first time you've ever talked to someone like that.

"Then go! Fucking go! When he breaks your heart don't come here crying. Cause I won't care." she left the room and you let out a deep sigh tears threatening to fall down.

"Y/n... Do you want me to help you get your stuff" Jeno's hand held onto yours and you nodded. Still not fully processing what you just did. It all felt surreal. Did you just make the biggest mistake of your life?

He wanted to say something. Tell you to stay, to not leave with him. Because it wasn't worth it. But he just couldn't. He couldn't let those words leave his mouth. He was being selfish. He wanted you to be besides him, even if you let everything behind.

"Y/n?" he shook your shoulder and you blinked a few times, coming back to reality "Y-yeah... Let's go"

As you were picking up your things your mind was all over the place, you just couldn't think straight. Everything too overwhelming. Every single thing that happened today felt like a bad nightmare. One that you wished never happened. 

"Baby... Are you okay?" Jeno leaned closer, his arms sneaking around your waist while you closed your eyes, laying your head on his chest while he back hugged you. "I'm not Jeno, I really am not. I just- I- I don't even know how to explain it" you sighed in frustration hiding your face with both of your hands. "Hey, hey, it's okay baby. You're okay" he kissed the top of your head "I'm here for you yeah? We can just stay over someone's house, maybe Nana will let us stay, he's nice. Even if it doesn't seem like it. He's the sweetest. So don't worry my baby. You're safe with me. I won't let anything bad happen to you. Not to my princess, my pretty girl, the one I love the most"

That was supposed to make you feel better. But it didn't. It did not soothe the aching of your conscience. It felt wrong. Leaving with Jeno. Everything left behind. Your relationship with your family probably long gone. You lost everyone. The only person you had was him. He was the only one that was with you. And it didn't feel as nice as you imagined.

You sighed and nodded gently trying to get your mind to be blank and stop worrying so much. You made your choice already. There was no point in regretting it now.

"Got everything?" he asked and you nodded handing him your backpack. He grabbed it with one hand and with the other he held yours.

"Let's go"

"Dude, are you serious?" you heard Jaemin's voice through the phone, he definitely sounded displeased by the idea of you also staying over his house. "Please Jaemin... We have nowhere to go... Do it for me? Please?" a grunt was clearly heard from the other side of the line, Jeno was too good at begging "Okay, fine, fine. You can stay. But I don't want her bossing around. Or telling me to stop doing shit. It's my house, my rules. Got it?" Jeno looked at you and you nodded gently. You weren't planing on doing any of that anyways. "Got it sir" he chuckled and you heard Jaemin's laugh, something that to you was very rare. He seemed to be serious whenever you were around. "Perfect, see you then" "see ya"

"You see, I told you Nana was nice" he smiled at you and you did the same "I just think he doesn't like me Nono" you pouted looking away "well, I'll make him like you. Don't you worry baby" a kiss was delivered to your cheek. "I really hope that happens... I don't want to live with someone that doesn't like me" Jeno sighed and shook his head "it's going to be fine y/n" he sternly looked at you and you nodded, not wanting to keep talking about that.

After a few more minutes of walking you guys finally reached Jaemin's house. Your boyfriend pressed the doorbell and waited for his friend to come and open the door.

"Hey" you looked at the pink haired boy, noticing how he had no shirt on. Only a pair of loose sweatpants, hanging on for dear life. You could clearly see his v line and the brand of his underwear. Making you gulp nervously and look away immediately. But you didn't go unnoticed by Jaemin's eyes, and he just laughed at you.

"Dude you could have at least worn a shirt" Jeno frowned glaring at his friend "Hey, hey, what did I say before? My house, my rules. Now get in, it's kinda chilly outside and I'm not planning to get hard nipples" your boyfriend rolled his eyes and pushed Jaemin aside entering the house. You followed after him, but suddenly you were trapped on the door frame. Jaemin's hands on both sides of your head as he leaned closer, making sure Jeno wasn't looking "If you do something remotely annoying I won't hesitate to kick you out. So be a good girl and follow my rules got it?" you nodded nervously and he tsked at you "first rule, if I ask you a question, answer it with words. I hate when people don't speak up" "y-yes" you mumbled and he giggled pulling away from you.

"Great. You're a fast learner, I like that" he closed the door behind you, and stood there, lurking over you like a predator about to catch his pray. You felt shivers down your spine, your footsteps quick, trying to find Jeno.

But as you searched for your boyfriend Jaemin was just right behind you, following every step you took. Until he stopped, his hands finding your waist, making you stop with him.

"J-jaemin wh-what are you doing?" You asked your body freezing completely when he pressed himself against you. "You're so pretty" he mumbled hands fidgeting with the hem of your dress "and that ass, it's literally begging me to fuck it right here. How does that sound?" You immediately shook your head trying to pull away from his grip, but it only became tighter. "N-no. Please let me go" tears started streaming down your cheeks "you look beautiful when you cry, do you know that?" his lips went to your neck, delivering little kisses.

"Hey Nana, do you have alcohol in here?" as soon as he heard Jeno's voice Jaemin pulled away from you. Pushing you away from his body, acting like nothing actually happened "Y/n baby, why are you crying?" Jeno rushed towards your smaller frame hugging you tightly "she's just overwhelmed with feelings Jeno, too many changes" Jaemin answered, a clear sign for you to not tell the truth. And as much as you wanted to, you were also scared to do so. Not knowing how everything would turn out.

"Anyways, I do have alcohol, a fuck ton of it to be exact" he smiled widely "that will help us a little. I think we all need a drink. Let's go!" he pushed you and Jeno forward making the both of you walk towards wherever he was taking you to.

You wiped your tears trying to recompose yourself, maybe you were being too dramatic. Crying way too many times today.

"Sit down, I'll serve" he signaled towards the couch and then left. Leaving you alone with your boyfriend. The urge to tell him what happened with Jaemin was big. But the fear was bigger.

"Are you really okay baby..?" he looked at you, his hands on yours "y-yeah. It's just that everything happened too fast. But now I'm fine. I am. Really." you nodded a few times, trying to sound as convincing as you could. "If you say so. I'll believe you. If something happens please tell me okay" he tilted his head now caressing one of your cheeks trying to be comforting, even if apparently nothing was wrong "yep, I'll tell you"

"no sappy shit while I'm around, that's another rule" Jaemin spoke from behind placing shot glasses on the coffee table. He also had a bunch of bottles on his arms, different types of alcohol ready to be used.

"Well that's gonna be hard" Jeno complained sitting down, quick hands opening a bottle and filling all the glasses "Not my problem" Jaemin shrugged his eyes fixated on you. And once you sat down he did the same, trapping you between his body and Jeno's.

"Do you drink y/n?" The pink haired boy asked leaning a little bit to close with the excuse that it was to grab the shot "y-yeah, I do" you mumbled holding onto your glass tightly "well, at least that. You're not such a party pooper after all" he smiled, and that somehow brought warmth to your heart.

"She's not, you guys just haven't met the real her" Jeno intervened already drinking all the liquid. The burning sensation in his throat making him scrunch his nose. "Fuck, this is strong" Jaemin laughed also taking everything in "yeah, I got the best just for you babe" he winked. Jeno shook his head faking a gagging sound.

"Come on y/n, drink it." Jaemin's voice sounded tempting, why was he so invested on you? You had no clue. It always seemed like he despised your existence, so what happened before astonished you. It was all too weird. 

Trying not to over think things, you drank the alcohol, instantly coughing after. Jeno was right, it was strong. Too strong for your liking. You didn't do well with alcohol, getting drunk pretty easily. Two of these were going to be enough to leave you tipsy.

"So, I have something else~" Jaemin snickered taking out a plastic bag, the same one you tried to take away from him earlier. "Y/n you can either join us, or simply ignore it. Because I don't want your pretty mouth to complain got it?" you just nodded, throwing your body back, your eyes closed. Not even wanting to see what they were about to do.

"Nana..." you heard Jeno's voice, sounding menacing, like a warning. "What? Oh come on Nono, don't be like that. I know how much you want to. Don't you? Don't you? Of course you do! Come on!" he started wiggling the bag in front of the boy's face. Making him sigh.

"Just one line. That's it." he frowned "That's enough for us right now, between this and the alcohol we're gonna have a blast" and without hesitation Jaemin started preparing the lines of cocaine. Not caring about your frustrated sighs.

"Okay. One, two, three!" you couldn't see anything but you clearly heard them sniffing down whatever was on the table. You didn't want to know. It was better not to. "Done pretty girl, you can open your eyes now" as you did you saw Jeno smiling at you his pupils way more dilated than usual, making you worry slightly. But as Jaemin said you couldn't complain.

"Are you o-" "shh, nothing of that. Nope, no" Jaemin frowned "Stop worrying so much okay? I'm gonna establish that as a rule right now. Yeah. Just, don't worry. We're fine" he flicked your forehead making you whine.

You heard Jeno's laugh from besides you as he poured more of the drink to all of you. "Jeno you know I can't drink a lot-" "shh, drink baby" he placed the shot glass on your mouth "open wide for me" you complied to his orders and he poured the liquid in your mouth, going straight to the back of your throat.

"She seems to follow instructions pretty well" Jaemin chuckled darkly, already having a plan with you in his mind. He just needed to convince Jeno, but that was going to be easy. "Yeah, she's my good girl" he patted your head as you swallowed, frowning from the burning sensation down your esophagus.

Your head was already dizzy, everything feeling a bit weird. Like you couldn't totally control anything.

"Why don't we make her our good girl tonight?" Jaemin questioned pouring more alcohol for Jeno to drink "What do you mean?" your boyfriend asked "Well, I was thinking we could share. As they always say sharing is caring. Also, it could be like a thank you for letting you both stay here. What do you think?" one of his brows lifted as he smiled.

"Do you want to fuck my girlfriend?" Jeno blankly asked his face expression indecipherable "No, no, I want us to fuck your girlfriend" he said smile growing wider.

You didn't say anything, more than sure that Jeno would say no. He was always so possessive with you, there was no way he was sharing you with Jaemin.

"Sounds good to me" your eyes widened after hearing that, your mouth hanging loose "w-what?" Jeno laughed at you "yeah baby, doesn't that sound great? Getting both of your holes filled" his hand made it's way to your thigh, Jaemin copying the action "n-no, I don't- just- no" you shook your head and his hand went to your jaw stopping your movements "you're my good girl right?" you nodded nervously "Then you're going to take dick and do everything we say got it?" "b-bu-" "got it?" he asked squishing your face with strength. "y-yes" you mumbled weakly, already giving in. Not having the right mindset to say no.

"great!" you heard Jaemin say from behind "let's go to the bedroom, it's pretty big, so we can have a lot of fun there" he laughed a little too loud while standing up. Your boyfriend did the same, and you were about to until a hand pushed you down to your knees on the ground. "On all fours pretty girl, I wanna see your pretty ass on full display as we walk" you looked up to the pink haired boy a pout on your lips after hearing his instructions "don't look at me like that pretty baby, just do it."

You frowned and sighed before starting to crawl towards the room, letting both boys see your clothed core and ass. Your short dress making it pretty easy.

"Dibs on the ass!" Jeno said immediately following behind you "What!? Not fair bro! Hey!" Jaemin pushed Jeno and the boy just laughed "It's my ass after all bro, she's still mine. I'm just sharing it with you because I'm a good friend" he smiled proudly. "Okay, fine fine, but I'm not gonna be soft then" your boyfriend shrugged at that "she likes it rough, so it's perfect"

Once you got to the room Jeno kneeled down besides you, pulling you up by your hair, a yelp leaving your lips by how much force he was using. It was practically impossible for him to control anything at the moment. All the substances mixed up inside his body made him loose any type of self control he had.

"Do you remember the safe word?" he asked curious, as you had never used it before. Sometimes he wondered if it was because you truly liked it. Or because you forgot.

"blue molly" your voice cracked, and Jeno smiled at you. In the back a laugh was heard. In an hour your heard Jaemin's laugh way more than all the times you ever saw him. "Wow, I definitely didn't expect that word to be your safe one"

"It was just the first thing that came to my mind" your boyfriend shrugged off "I bet you were high on it" Jaemin came closer one of his fingers tracing your jaw "yeah, I was" his look was now on you, practically burning you with it. His gaze was powerful, filled with dominance. Making you shiver under their touch.

"Baby, I hope you're ready, because you're in for a ride" he pushed you to the ground once more. Your knees hitting the wood with a loud thud.

"I hope alcohol didn't dumb you down, because I want to have the honor to do that" Jaemin's hands found their way to you head, holding it in front of his crotch. His clothes (or the lack of) still on. He pressed himself on your face, trying to inhibit your breathing. 

"Nana, one rule I'm asking you to respect is that no kisses are allowed. Only I can kiss her." There it was, the possessiveness that you kind of missed. It wasn't so obvious to Jaemin, but to you it was. You belonged to him, no matter what.

"Okay, fair enough" he pulled you away, letting you catch your breath "You ready pretty girl?" he asked, a fake tone of sympathy adorning his voice. You simply nodded taking in a deep breath, getting ready for what was going to happen.

Jaemin skillfully took off his pants and underwear, revealing his already hardened length. It was long and veiny, not to different from Jeno's. 

"Open wide~" he mimicked Jeno's voice from before when he gave you the shot and you complied. Your mouth opening, tongue out. "You're very good, I can see why Jeno likes to fuck you" his hand went to your head, now pulling you closer to his cock. He thrusted the tip in letting out a groan.

"Hey, hey, don't forget I'm still here baby." Jeno was already undressed, waiting for you to do something with him too. He held onto your wrist tightly, guiding your hand to his length. You made eye contact with him, seeing a pleased smile all over his face. Meaning that you were doing something right.

Without warning Jaemin held your head with both of his hands, gripping tightly onto your hair, pulling on it until your nose pressed down with the lower part of his abdomen. "Fuck, this feels amazing" he kept you there. Wanting to see you struggle to take it all inside. Your gag reflexes hitting you. Even your breath was unstable. Tears already forming in the corners of your eyes.

"Did I say you could stop moving your hand?" Jeno frowned at you reaching to pinch your nose, completely obstructing your breathing system. Your wide deer like eyes looked at him as worried as they could. "Come on. Do something baby. I'm waiting" you decided to start moving your hand up and down, fast, just like he liked it.

With the other hand you tapped continuously on Jaemin's thigh, hopping he would get the message and just let go. But he didn't. He simply laughed at you shaking his head. "I know you're better than this y/n. Come on, show us what a good girl you are" 

You were a mess already, chin full of spit, hand sloppily trying to move fast, tears all over your cheeks, head dizzy and most importantly you couldn't breathe. Making everything worse. At any moment you felt like you were going to pass out.

But suddenly both hands left your head. You started coughing almost immediately your hands in front of your knees, head looking down, eyes closed and breathing unstable. "I- I can't d-do this" you shook your head.

"Of course you can. And you will." Jeno held onto your scalp pulling your head back so you would look at him. "You don't want to be a bad girl, do you?" you shook your head and a slap landed on your face, Jaemin frowning at you "what did I fucking tell you before?" he almost growled out.

"t-to use m-my words" you answered gulping down the knot on your throat "Then fucking use them" "i-im sorry" you mumbled your eyes shifting to your boyfriend "I don't want to be a bad girl. I want to be a good girl. Your good-" "Our" Jaemin pinpointed. "y-yeah, that"

"Then you're going to do what we tell you right?" he pulled you up slightly leaning in to have his face closer to yours "yes, yes, I'll do anything" you nodded. 

"Perfect. Now get on the bed, I can't wait any more, I need to be deep inside you" Jaemin spoke up, also grabbing you by the hair. Him and Jeno throwing you towards the bed. You lost balance and fell face first onto the mattress, but that didn't seem to he a problem to them. They practically jumped on the bed, Jaemin moving to lay under you.

His hands were already on your waist, gripping it tightly. He pulled you down harshly, placing you on top of his cock without putting it in. "Move, back and forth" he instructed and you did just that. Soft little moans leaving your lips.

Jeno moved to be behind you, his lips travelled along your body, leaving hickeys around your neck and shoulders. A hard slap was delivered to your ass, making you moan loudly. "Fuck yourself on Jaemin's cock. Do it. As fast as you can. Show me you deserve my dick." he whispered near your ear, now kissing your lobe.

You bliked a few times before starting your mission. You held onto Jaemin's length while lifting your hips slightly now putting the tip in your entrance. And as you were about to go down, Jaemin thrusted upwards while Jeno pushed you down by your shoulders. He was way too deep, and you couldn't help but moan. "F-fuck- Oh My- God" you closed your eyes tightly.

Your hands were on Jaemin's chest while you started moving, bouncing as fast as you could, making the boy under you smile in delight, it all felt so good.

While you were distracted a finger sneaked to your rim, pushing slightly. "W-wait, Jeno- A-ah" he completely ignored your cries and pushed his finger inside slowly until it was all inside you. His patience was very low at the moment so he just started moving them. Not giving you much time to adjust to the stretch.

Your moans were loud and clear, while your moves were starting to stagger, your mind not processing anything at the moment. Even if you wanted to move faster you couldn't. Your mind just didn't let you.

A slap was delivered to your ass before Jaemin started pistoning up, his moves fast, sharp and rough. And when you least expected it Jeno's cock was already going into your back entrance.

"My- Oh My, J-jeno, jeno" you whimpered out feeling weak. You felt like a fuck toy, one that was being used by it's horny owners.

"She can't even talk properly" Jaemin laughed at you, thinking you looked pathetic "Dumb dumb girl. Aren't you?" he taunted, his moves even faster than before. "N- ah- nno-" you slurred out. Mind way too focused on the way Jeno moved behind you.

It wasn't the first time you did anal with him, but he was never this rough. Usually caring a bit more when it came to your back door.

"Of course she is. My dumb girl. Say it." his hand cupped your neck, pulling you closer to him "I-" your voice was already weak, it was practically impossible to form sentences at the moment "yours, yours yes" you nodded holding on for dear life onto Jaemin's shoulders.

"She doesn't even know what we're saying" Jaemin laughed again enjoying the state you were in. It was all so hot to him.

Seeing you all helpless, crying, not able to think straight while taking both of their cocks inside was like a fantasy come true.

Their moves only got rougher as they chased for their high. Yours approaching you too.

And then it hit you.

Like the strongest wave you've ever felt. Your body trembling all over, eyes shut, and mouth letting out indecipherable sounds. Everything was overwhelming you in all senses. Your head feeling as dizzy as ever.

"Oh fuck- I think I'm cumming" Jaemin warned, the clenching of your walls feeling to good for him to last any longer.

"out out" you whispered head turning towards your boyfriend, hoping he understood what you meant. "Jaemin pull out. Don't cum inside" he looked down at the boy.

"Fuck off dude" his moves slowed down and then, he came. All of it inside of you.

You started shaking your head, mumbling little 'no's over and over.

Jeno came soon after, holding you in place. His hand now on your waist, pulling you to his body. Your back pressed against his chest.

"Dude! I told you to pull out you dick!" He yelled, your head hurting by that. "Well I didn't want to. It felt too good" he shrugged his shoulders, finally pulling out.

His hot cum slided out your cunt, dripping onto your thigh slowly.

Your weak cries worried Jeno. He was way more sober than before. And reality just hit him, maybe a little to late. "Hey baby, I'm sorry, sorry. It's okay, yeah? it's okay don't cry please" he pulled out of you and turned your body around. Now hugging you tightly. A soothing hand caressed your back as he kissed the top of your head.

"My baby, my pretty girl, I'm sorry yeah? I am. For everything, I'm so sorry."

NCT Masterlist

Main Masterlist

→ taglist: @luvmarkie

[intimacyequalsdeath]

New here :D

Permission to request a soft fem s/o (fem means female, I was lazy) with poly!ghostface headcanons? She is like..a bab, y'know? Softie, cutesy and caring nature :3

Needs to be protected at all costs?

Welcome to my blog sweet anon! We are happy to have you!

I am really pumped for how this turned out since I have lowkey been wanting to right more Poly! Ghost face fics, so I hope you enjoy as well!

Poly! Ghost face x Soft fem reader : Headcannons

<3 The ultimate final girl situation

<3 The boys would be head over heels as soon as they laid eyes on you. You were so quiet that at first they hardly noticed you at school, But Stu being Stu he HAS to know everyone.

<3 He told Billy about you pretty much as soon as he saw him next, Billy was hesitant at first even though Stu was begging for you to be their "Final Girl" but not actually kill you.

<3 Billy was hesitant until he also laid eyes on you, then Mr. Billy was absolutely hooked.

<3 Hooked to the point they may or may not have bugged pretty much everyone in the school office to give them a class with you...Yeah totally not...Totally. They ended up getting a study hall with you at the end of the day, That first day they both sat on either side of you and the rest was history.

<3 They love how smol and innocent you are, You are they baby and if anyone so much as even looks at you wrong, they're getting added to the list.

<3 The best times is when it has been such a long day, Billy is pissed about god knows what and poor baby Stu is just kinda down in the dumps, and they go back to Stu's place and their favorite girl is waiting for them with cuddles in bed ready to go.

<3 Billy would think every now and then what it would be like to corrupt you, But he never would. Stu would fucking kill him and even though he doesn't want to admit it, he adores the smolness just as much as Stu does.

<3 You would love to do anything for your boys. If you have any cooking ability defo cook for them. They will totally die. Even if you can't cook full meals, packing them school snacks with little notes will also send them over the moon.

<3 They wouldn't let you know right away about Ghostface. They would both be nervous that it would change your view and not wanna be with them anymore, or even worse, turn them in to the cops.

<3 When they do tell you, if you do decide you don't want the relationship to continue that is totally fine with them. But to their surprise you accept it with open arms.

<3 "Maybe you aren't so innocent after all" Billy would joke to you, making the 3 of you laugh.

<3 Even though you didn't mind Ghost face, they would still out of respect try and keep you out of it. It's a combination of them just not wanting you to be worried about them as well as wanting to make your precious brain stays clean of any thoughts of blood and gore.

<3 Your thankful for that, as you would honestly rather not hear about the gritty and gross details. As long as your boys come home to you each night and are safe and sound with no injuries, you couldn't care less what they do.

<3 Sydney and Tatum are thoughts long since gone in their minds, their main and only focus is you. These boys would take care of everyone in Woodsboro if it meant keeping their baby safe.

<3 Your boys love you and you love your boys.

[just-a-creep-babe]

Maybe some headcanons for how Liu/Sully, Jeff and BEN would be with a doting, sweet and innocent s/o? Only if you're inspired though ❤️

Tysm for the request luv! ^^ ik it took me a while, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless <3

Masterlist: x

Requests are closed but commissions are open!

And creepkinks is coming up next week!!! Hope y’all are as excited as i am <33

Jeff the Killer

Honestly, at first, he‘d be a little... put-off?

He wouldn’t understand why or even how they manage to be so nice all the time—are they trying to get something out of him?

He’d definitely be wary, thinking they have ulterior motives because homeboy does not trust easily

But over time, he’d come accept that it is possible for someone to be as angelic as they are~

He doesn’t know how they’ve managed to survive so long being that sweet & innocent, but he certainly isn’t mad about it

He thinks it’s cute—precious, even—and as he learns to trust them more & more, he becomes increasingly protective of them uwu

He wants to make sure that they keep their innocence at any cost

He gets like this 🤏 close to going full yandere to keep them safe & out of harm’s way ngl

He’s certainly not used to someone doting on him, so at first, he doesn’t really know how to handle the attention

It sometimes overwhelms him & he gets flustered, so he tries to dismiss them

It’s lowkey cute tho?

But it’s not like he doesn’t like the attention; on the contrary, he adores it

It feeds into his massive ego—he just needs to adjust to having another person agree with him that he’s pretty great 😏😘

Overall, things would be off to a rocky start, but once he gets used to how wonderful his little s/o is, he’ll try his damnedest to be a good boyfriend

Which is to say, he won’t be amazing, but he really does try & it’s very sweet to see

He might be an asshole sometimes, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve some lovin <3

BEN Drowned

Oh, he’s in love~

Baby boy can’t 👏get 👏enough 👏of their attention

He lives for their praise & comfort; they might actually be an angel in his eyes

He straight-up melts whenever they give him affection—to the point where he just wants to be with them all the damn time

He’ll gladly let them baby him as much as they want smdh

He’s too spoiled :”)

Similar to Jeff, he adores how sweet & innocent they are

But, unlike Jeff, instead of growing protective, he’ll inadvertently end up corrupting them :”)

It won’t necessarily be on purpose, it’ll kind of just happen by virtue of BEN being, well, BEN

He can’t deny enjoying being the one that corrupts them tho 😳😳

And in that similar vein of enjoyment, he loves teasing the hell out of them

He just thinks they’re so goddamn cute when they get all bashful >:3c

Like I’ve (probably?) mentioned before, BEN’s big on cuddling, but with an s/o as cute as that, how could he possibly resist keeping his hands off them?

There’s so much physical contact, it’s wild

You can bet movie/video game dates with snacks & blankets are a regular occurrence 😌👌

Homicidal Lui

Ahh, that poor lil s/o is gonna get whiplash with this manses :”)

Lui, on one hand, is just as sweet & doting as they are—if not even more so

He’s always asking if he can get anything for them, or if he can do anything for them, or how their day went and if they ate and if they want anything, anything at all—and that kind of stuff :>

He tries so goddamn hard to please them, they’re treated better than royalty <3

Boy’s always extremely flattered when they return the sentiment; having someone care for him isn’t too much of a regular occurrence :”)

He has self-esteem issues, so he often tries to over-compensate by putting others before him, and a reversal of those roles can be quite jarring

He’s truly a sweetheart, poor baby 😪💗

Their relationship is almost like,, sickly sweet teens during the honeymoon phase of a relationship kinda vibe

Very lovey-dicey, very obnoxious to the people around them, but very sweet lmfao

Sully though, on the other hand?

Oh boy

Dude teases the hell out of their s/o

He tries to corrupt them any & every way he possibly can

Lui gets so fucking pissed at him for messing with his beloved s/o

He always ends up feeling super bad, like he’s ultimately just a burden on his precious lil s/o

So he needs a good amount of reassurance, which is why someone so gentle & doting is honestly kind of perfect for him :”)

[storiumemporium]

Once More, With Desperation

Eddie Munson/Fem!Hargrove!Reader

Chapter 1

Series Summary — Spoilers for Vol 2 of Stranger Things! The world has become a numb abyss since the loss of every single person you ever loved, who ever loved you. Purpose has slipped away like smoke pluming from a burning building, and you simply drift, clinging to the hope that your sister will wake up someday, and that you can be there for her when it happens. But in the midst of your rising depression, a new light shines in the darkness- a simple memory, the Upside Down does not obey the laws of time. You'll save them all, no matter what, no cost is too high.

IT'S OUT, IT'S FINALLY OUT! Chapter one of the relentless agony that is my S4-VOL 2 Didn't Happen fix-it-fic.

Enjoy!

Series Tags — Angst oh my God so much angst, no seriously this fic is really painful do Not read this for immediate fluff, happy (bittersweet?) ending, some tooth rotting fluff sprinkled throughout, violence

Chapter Word Count — 10.5k (jesus fuck) Chapter Tags — This is literally nothing but angst, there's nothing happy here really, mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, shitty parents and the such, I repeat, SPOILERS, Major Character Death

The world is made and broken by the people within it, from the smallest town to the largest city- it’s the contents within that define it.

Because people don’t survive without people. Families, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, even rivals and enemies. Ones’ entire life is defined by those that surround them, their joys made brighter by the people who celebrate with them, and their sorrows felt deeper by those that share their grief.

So, what does one become when they have no one?

All alone in the world, unmoored and unknown. Are you still a person?

Would you ever be a person again, after this?

Once upon a time you were whole, an innocent with a concept of nothing but sunlight and ocean lapping at your youthful ankles. Of learning to surf for the first time. Blonde hair and sundresses, seven foot waves.

You lost the first piece of yourself to the back of a hand- a father too brutal, whose cruelty knew few bounds, even fewer still when it came to your brother.

The second piece left with your mother, who spared you nothing more than a phone call and a half-assed apology.

The third went with your brothers’ innocence. Poor sweet Billy, how the rage had claimed him the way it did your father- Neil. Your twin had gone so far from you, had been warped by his need to survive. You knew somewhere deep inside, that sweet boy still lived- but sometimes it was so very hard to see. Clouded by recklessness and aggression- push everyone else before they could push you.

Whittled to the bone, worn down like stone to sand, you had learned complacence and quietness, the art of being meek and quiet and obedient. If you never said anything, if you never disagreed- even when it hurt- then you wouldn’t be the target. You would be safe.

But… then something wonderful and all at once horrifying happened.

Neil re-married.

And you met Maxine.

Young and stubborn and bright- your new baby sister. You knew from the moment you’d laid eyes on her- you’d do everything to protect that, to protect her. She would be different, she would not become another Hargrove, another beaten broken battered thing filled with hate and fear.

Max gave you a new sense of purpose, a reason to struggle again- because for every mile you fought was another inch you could give to her. An argument that left you with a black eye- but earned you a drivers license so that you could take Max out to the skatepark, watch her learn a new trick while you nursed your cuts and covered your bruises in makeup.

Life began to change so fast after that- a whole new town and a whole new identity to build. Hawkins Indiana. What a quaint little place after only ever knowing the starlit scream of California.

But… it was wonderful. Mostly.

Billy hated it, Billy hated change- unpredictability, it meant Neil was unpredictable. For a similar reason, Billy ‘hated’ Max. She was a new variable that he couldn’t control- and the tighter he tried to squeeze, the more Max thrashed.

But in the quiet, when it was just you and your twin, he would admit the things to you he couldn’t anybody else, even himself. He liked Max, loved her even, and Hawkins wasn’t all bad, the forests were nice at night.

If only he’d gotten to tell her that.

You met Eddie Munson the very first week you’d stepped into Hawkins High, California was always churning new personalities and Eddie Munson dressed like he’d been cut from the same silken cloth. But Eddie didn’t like being put into a box, and his personality certainly held testament to that.

Some girl by the name of Pamela Maisey had forcibly taken to chauffeuring you around school, stringy pencil like fingers finding permanent purchase against your denim-clad arm. She was a decently pretty girl with a beauty mark right above the left corner of her lip, entrancing you as it wiggled with her animated conversation. Her dark black hair was done up in a ponytail with three separate scrunchies in a green-orange-green pattern that practically vomited Hawkins’ pride, skirt clad and wearing a coveted varsity jacket with the name of what you assumed was one of the basketball players of the school.

You knew what this was, of course- she couldn’t have given less of a shit about you, which is why she didn’t even stop to let you speak those few days you’d known each other. She was a vulture, and the moment she’d smelled easy popularity oozing out of the pores of the ‘new girl from California,’ she’d clung to you like flies on shit. You had known it with every girly flick of her head, perfume and hair products assaulting your nostrils each pass. She’d have tossed you aside the moment she’d cleaned your bones.

And by that, you meant the moment she got to jump Billy’s bones.

Billy had already taken up crown in Hawkins’ High, effortlessly displacing Steve whom you hadn’t known at the time. With that came attention, all of the attention, just the way Billy liked it. You hated it, if only because it meant things like Pamela kept happening to you.

You remember being ushered into the cafeteria by Pamela, she was spinning you around every which way to point out all the best cliques and popular tables to be at, weaving you around so fast you could barely even wave at the tables you were passing by.

By the end of it, she’d just… left you there in the middle of the cafeteria, with no real idea where you were, feeling very lost and very alone. Billy wouldn’t want his baby sister hanging around him at school after all, and Max would be no more eager at that intrusion.

And then… Eddie happened.

You supposed that “lost little sheepies” sense he’d always had came to light, his fingers coming to awkwardly and gently tap you on the shoulder, and when you turned he was already smiling with his hands clasped behind his back.

“Hi there, uh…” That hair, shorter then than it would come to be, danced around his face airy and light as a feather. His head twitched around from side to side, pleasant brown eyes flitted across faces and groups, as if he were trying to sort you into a category before he’d even heard your voice. He’d looked back to you out of the corner of his eye. “You seem like you need a humble assistant.”

“Just lookin’ for a place to sit, I guess.”

His smile grew, and it had felt at the time like you’d just signed away your soul to the devil. A decision you’d never once come to regret, even when you lost him.

Eddie became your person almost immediately following that day. When he’d learned that you were the sister of the most popular guy in school but still wanted to hang out with him, when you clenched your jaw at the jeers of others, and even partook in his interests just because he was interested in them, he’d known in that moment you were too special to give up and he’d clung on as tightly as he could. He’d irrevocably tied himself to you in a way you’d never let anyone or anything take away. You ate at the same table, took the same classes. Eddie’s midnight haunts became yours, Eddie’s secrets became yours, and vice versa, the two of you were a matched set.

Even when Billy had tried to take control, tried to scare him away from you when you wouldn’t scare away from him, all it’d done is draw the two of you forever closer.

“Why the hell does he feel the need to control you so much?” Eddie’s sitting on the couch, legs kicked up and worn converse smearing against Wayne’s coffee table with a cigarette in his hand, you two were close, and you knew of his less-than-legal hobbies, but Eddie had gotten a perception of purity about you and felt dirty smoking pot or dealing drugs with you anywhere nearby.

You’d sighed and sagged further into the cushions, wiggling in your war to get the broken springs to fuck off as you tried to relax with your head in Eddie’s lap. “It’s not…”

You chewed your lip. “It’s complicated, Eddie.”

That blank, incredulous face made your cheeks heat up. “Really! It is.”

“Well I’ve got nothing but time, Highness.”

He could see you wanting to back out, but the actual distress he could see present on your face had him gently jostling your head in his lap. “No- no thinking about it, just tell me.”

You stare into his eyes, pretty and sweet, and consider that you haven’t actually known Eddie that long- he could do anything with the information you’re about to give him.

But Eddie Munson wasn’t like that, despite having every reason to be bitter and cruel he was the sweetest man you’d met, inside Hawkins and out, and did everything he could to earn your trust and comfort.

You take a heavy breath. “Billy’s just…

Trying to look out for me, Eddie. I don’t think he could give, like, less of a shit about you if I’m honest, and that’s not necessarily a compliment. You’re just- nothing to him.” You shrug, and look away from Eddie as his brows furrow, partially insulted but mostly confused.

“Neil isn’t-” you swallow a thick lump in your throat, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Eddie whose hands twitch where they rest, he’s a tactile person, but he knows you’re not and he’s afraid of trying to break down that boundary so soon. He’s just gotten you to a place where you were comfortable putting your hands on him, let alone if he abruptly tried the other way around. “Neil… is not a nice man, Eddie. He uh- look- basically, Billy makes himself scary so I don’t have to deal with the one that’s actually scary, which is our old man. Billy doesn’t hate you, but Neil would, and Billy knows I wouldn’t cut ties with you just because my dad says it, so…”

“So he’s trying to fix it before it becomes a problem?” You look at Eddie, and there’s a gravity to his gaze that is utterly unbecoming of his sweet and boyish face. You decide you hate Eddie when he’s serious, you want him to never have to stress about anything in his life- if only so that beautiful smile never leaves its place.

“Yeah… something like that. I’m sorry he keeps giving you such shit, though. You’ve not done anything wrong.”

“You either, Highness.”

Salt and pepper, Batman and Robin as Dustin would come to say.

(Eddie wouldn’t admit it, but everyone knew he was Robin.)

And when Billy died, Eddie was the one that kept you together.

A hell of a strain for a fledgling relationship, but if Eddie was ever upset at how you’d changed- never once did he show it, never once did he let you feel it.

Calling you every day, every night, never hesitating to pull you inside and hold you close when you’d show up at his trailer at 3am, exhausted and weepy with the memory of what you’d lost.

The one to visit you in the hospital after you stood up to Neil for the first and last time. To take care of your bandages and kiss your bruises after you got out. Who practically harassed the poor hospital staff with questions about your care- you suspect they didn’t mind, if the endeared smiles upon their lips were anything to go by.

It hurt to love someone so much and not be able to tell him the truth. Tell him what you’d seen.

But it didn’t matter- because it came for Eddie too in the end.

It came for Max in the end.

Everyone… it took everyone.

The only person left with any tie to who you once were was Susan. Who’d sunk so deeply into the bottle when you lost your sister that you couldn’t even call her a human being anymore. More like a husk living on the couch. You were the one paying the bills now, working the jobs, keeping things going just in case- just in case.

Why? You didn’t know why.

“Heya, Punkin’.”

The nickname tastes like ashes in this sterile hospital room, overhead a fluorescent light is flickering and it makes you grip the bars of her hospital bed tight enough to groan beneath your fists, the whole room is like that, pale and transient, people always coming and going- one way or another, coming and going. In a way, hospitals have reminded you of the Upside Down ever since you’d first tasted the frozen horror of that dimension. You’d tried to liven up the place a little, brought in some flowers and a few of Max’s things from back home, her skateboard sits in a corner and you’ve taped up some new posters she didn’t get to see, hoping she’d be excited about them when she opened her eyes again.

As it stands, Max has been in the same spot unmoving for days, marked only by the rise and fall of the unrelenting light of a Hawkins’ morning, disorienting against the frozen silhouette of your baby sisters body.

Casts on every limb and a brace that hugs her neck, so pale, even the pink flush of life that used to touch her cheekbones has gone, leaving her colorless and void aside the fiery mane of hair that always brought you joy to see, no matter what she’d decided to do with it on that given day.

It was hard to witness this, knowing Max Mayfield was a brilliant, driven, passionate girl. Stubborn and blunt and so damn clever. Always had something to say, something to feel, never could a comment get passed her without a retort that could light a fire under a grown mans’ ass. She was a powerhouse and destined for nothing but greatness at whatever she wanted in life.

She may not have been blood, but you were so damn proud of her.

Your baby sister.

The guilt of your unrelenting failure came to haunt you every time you were left alone- which was quite often these days.

It should have been me.

“M’gonna be graduating here in a couple days.” You force yourself into a tone that’s something like casual. Hands folding over themselves again and again in your lap, the dying refuse of your attempt at self-soothing. “I have… no idea what I’m going to do with myself, afterward.

I honestly— I spent so much time thinking of graduating with-” you start to sound whiny as you try to force through, “with Eddie that I- didn’t consider what was next. Y’know? Plus- plus I’d have you, y’know? I’d still be taking care of you. I’d never leave you.”

Sniffles, and fat wet tears that collect on your still-bruised hands. “You’d call me stupid for that, huh? Getting all caught up on boys and being a big sister instead of finding out what I want.”

The room is so fucking quiet.

“I want you to know-” voice reaching higher, breaking. “You saved us, you did- you did it.”

You’re nodding even though she wasn’t there to see it, not really, not anymore. “I’m so sorry- I should have been there, I was supposed to keep you safe. That’s what us big sisters do, right? We keep you little shits alive.

I’m sorry, I really take the gold for being the worst Goddamn sister in the world.”

Even more, still-sterile silence.

“Wish I could hear you call me Spice again, Punk.”

She never did get that stupid rhyme right, and by the time she was old enough to know, it just felt wrong to say it any other way.

“Wake up, Max. Please. I can’t— I’m not strong enough to do this alone. Eddie’s gone and- and- and Billy and everyone- everyone’s moving on and it’s just me, here, burning alive and so alone and I need you.

You’re so strong, spitfire. I know you can make it- please make it.”

But of course, there was no answer- there would be no answer. She was gone.

She was gone.

You nod once more to yourself, turning at an angle in your chair as you begin to rise, to leave for the day to wander as a phantom through the last standing vestiges of your own life.

“You uh… Tell Eddie hey for me when you see him again, sweetheart.”

When you leave her bedside, you leave the last piece of yourself behind.

Dusk in Hawkins was always beautiful, not in the sunny beaches-and-palm-trees way of your childhood, but in the glittering stars and the smell of pine. The trailer park loses a little of that, but the chill that rustles your jacket and whips up your hair drags some awareness back into your bones, brushing a bit of pink into the tops of your ears and against your nose. Wayne Munson’s trailer sits just across from your home, and every time you see it you remember the sight of that door swinging wide open, spread out arms and legs and theatrical proclamations of the arrival of royalty.

You remember arms that were strong, and leather and smoke, and cheap shampoo and conditioner. He always gave the best hugs, lifting you clean off the ground to dance you in a circle on his tiny front porch, squeezing you so tight that it’d stretch out the ache in your spine from hunching over a table all day. “Hello, my Lady of Lórien.”

You whisper into the damp air. “Hey, Teddy.”

The steps to your home creak forebodingly when you stomp on them, sending bits of dust and detritus puffing around your ankles and to the ground, storm door swings open, and after a moment of fumbling with your keys, warmth and the acrid smell of alcohol greets you. The trailer is dim, cozy even, but it provides no comfort when the only other person here was someone you could barely tolerate anymore- whom barely tolerated you herself.

Susan was unconscious again on the couch, half empty bottle laying on it’s side on the carpeted floor- that was going to stain. You didn’t even look at it when you picked it up, taking a hearty swig as you doused still-lit cigarettes and pulled the blinds. It was warm and tasted like shit, and you could guess it was likely some cheap gin she bought for the same reason you were stealing it off of her- anything to get drunk and forget.

You’re aware you’re making a great deal of noise as you go about unwinding the house for the night, stomping around on the squishy floor and slamming cabinets as you went scrounging for more of Susan’s ‘stash.’ You didn’t particularly care though, she was so piss-drunk she wouldn’t be waking up for awhile, and she’d be so hungover she’d just look for another bottle to fix it.

Besides, who was she to stop you? You were the reason she had a couch to waste away on, after all.

The door to your bedroom is scratched up and abused, a single hole about chest height has been patched over with pieces of paper and tape, and you hear those papers rustle slightly as you toss the door shut with a lingering agitation.

Your room is a warzone these days. The carpeted brown floor hasn’t been seen in a long time, instead you’ve elected to decorate it with dirty laundry and underwear, beer cans and takeout boxes and the scraps of homework you’d somehow managed to convince yourself to give a shit about between jobs. Once upon a time you were a neat freak with a level of organization Eddie had called neurotic. He’d even let you go through his things and organize all of it, splayed out on his bed with his guitar in hand, chatting animatedly about whatever campaign he was planning and how he was going to totally dick over his friends with this boss he has coming up.

You always noticed he’d intentionally muss it up later- just so you’d go back through and fix it for him again. Maybe he just wanted the extra time with you, maybe he liked the reminder that you cared.

There’s a few pairs of discarded jeans that made it onto your bed, they were technically dirty, but didn’t smell bad enough for you to be guilty about donning them a few more times before you forced yourself to actually be civil. You only even pay attention to the fact they exist at the moment because they start to dig uncomfortably into your back as you post yourself up against your bedroom wall, swirling the contents of Susan’s cheap gin around in it’s bottle. It’s disgustingly warm.

You plug your nose and go for it- not even stopping for the nausea that builds as you flood yourself with a cheap fix-it for your life.

It doesn’t take long, maybe fifteen or twenty minutes- shot-gunning half a bottle of hard liquor will get you pretty fucked up in record time after all, the world is starting to fuzz out blissfully in a way you wished you could carry around in your pocket. Take a big breath of it every time you had to remember that everyone was gone and you were existing just because you couldn’t muster up the energy to put an end to it yet.

Your legs bounce and wiggle, your hands swing about idly, you hum to yourself- catching up sharply when a tune is too familiar, too painful and flipping it to something more mainstream, less Eddie. Another swig, burning and harsh, and drunken exhaustion mixes with regular exhaustion. You don’t even put the bottle down, don’t crawl under the covers, don’t even turn off the light, slumping away right where you sat.

Gray.

Flashing violent red, malicious and true.

Not again.

“I think it’s my year, babe. I think it’s finally my year.” His smile is crimson, and his tears are crystal. “M’gonna graduate.”

He’s splayed out on the concrete and in your lap, voice straining to rise above the ambient noise of hundreds of demented bats writhing and screeching as they die, but he isn’t being framed by the world, no, the world is being framed by him, by the blood smearing all over your hand as you cup and cradle his face, by the deep gurgling choke he makes as he struggles through his last minutes.

“Yeah- yeah honey…” Your lips press taut in the futile attempt to quell their trembling, Eddie is limp and heavy where he rests in your arms, and the heat that’s steadily pouring out of him still manages to be scalding against the unrelenting cold of the Upside Down. His life is ebbing away, soaking your denim wet and thick, and you know he doesn’t have long. “Tell you what… tell you what Eddie-bear… When we graduate I’m takin’ you to California, okay? You’re gonna hate it.”

You laugh, wet and warbling and choking at the edges. “Everyone is so Goddamn preppy there, chasing the newest trends all the time. They’re going to think you’re fuckin’ crazy, babe.

But the sea..? And the sand? And when you go north and see the redwood forests..? It’s magical. You have to see it, just once, just for me, okay?”

“Okay… S’long as you let me take you to a Black Sabbath concert.”

You nod your head aggressively, ignoring the painful throb from getting your head slammed into the pavement, and Dustin whimpers beside you. Though it feels impossible at this moment, in this nightmare, your heart manages to hurt even more at the soul-wrenching sound.

“I love you guys, so much…”

Dustin’s heartfelt response is a hoarse whisper beside you, and it takes everything you can to work your voice just one more time. “I love you too, Eddie Munson. I’ll see you in Cali.”

You press your mouth to his and suffocated within the pervasive tang of salt and metal, you feel more than hear the rattle of Eddie’s last breath.

You wake, and immediately throw up all over your dirty laundry on the floor.

You want to say that it’s just a result of drinking so much on an empty stomach after working all day- but Eddie’s lifeless eyes are still burnt into the backs of your eyelids, and you get queasy every time you let yourself still for even a second too long. It takes you longer than it probably should to regain your bearings, scooping up the even-more-soiled contents of your closet to finally put it in the washer.

Your door is slightly more ajar than you’d left it, and the bottle that was once in your hand is now gone. Something like anger but crooked stews in the pit of your gut, and you take your clean enough laundry to the shower, you could at least rinse off if nothing else.

You had to look like you weren’t giving up- like you hadn’t already given up. You were graduating tomorrow.

The whole room is a quiet drum of excitement and anticipation. For dozens this was the next stage of life, they were finally moving on into that big wide world- they would be adults, free and eager to pursue their dreams, to flee Hawkins, to finally write their own stories.

Eddie would have been one of those people. Billy would have too.

It was surreal and sort of numbing to be here, sort of just drifting through the crowd and allowing their motions to push and pull you across the floor. Everyone was dressed up in green and orange, smiles plastered wide, families tearing up and giving hugs, squeezing shoulders and cupping faces. So proud of you was a cacophony that ached in your soul.

Robin was easy enough to pick out from the rest, her gown and cap situated somewhat awkwardly on her frame as if she’d forgotten what she was doing halfway through, entirely likely considering who she was. You swallowed around the knot in your throat, willed the numbness to creep even higher as you slid in beside her. She was rambling wildly, her mother fussing at her.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this but I cannot walk mom, I am severely locomotively challenged- is that a word?- Okay that’s besides the point, what happens when I fall on stage, though? My last memory in this school will be ‘Robin Buckley, the girl who couldn’t walk across a wooden floor’ and I’m not sure I can survive that kind of humiliation.”

Robin’s hands are shaking around wildly, thumbs rubbing repetitively over the skin of her knuckles as she rants about the impending disaster she’s so certain will come. You feel a fondness rise for your friend, managing to crack a tired smile as you grow close enough for her to actually notice you.

“Hargrove! Listen, you have to get my diploma for me, I cannot-”

“Robin, I’m not doing that.”

Immediate disappointment, you know she’s about to utilize the puppy eyes. But before she gets her chance, you cut her off. “Hold my arm.”

“What?”

“Hold my arm. I’ll help you keep steady when we go up there.”

“And what happens in the very likely event that I fall over and just drag you with me?”

You link your arm with hers and squeeze. “Then we’ll be ‘the girls that couldn’t walk across a wooden floor.”

Everything is beginning to ramp up, and gently you start to tug her toward the stage. You wanted to help her, but in truth she was helping you too. You were terrified to take this step, because it was the first real step to saying goodbye to Eddie.

The first milestone you wouldn’t be moving across with him, the first time you wouldn’t get to celebrate together.

You squeeze Robin’s arm and she squeezes back, still muttering something nervously underneath her breath as you file in. You can feel her tense up, the stairs are right there. “C’mon, we got this Buckley. One step at a time.”

“That was a terrible joke and you should feel ashamed.”

“Who says I was joking?” You muster up a quiet laugh, and then the two of you are ascending the steps. Robin has your arm gripped so tightly you’re sure to find bruises in the morning, muttering all the while about losing all of her social credit if she screws up now.

You finally make it to flat ground, and are about to lean into Robin to whisper about how you knew she could do it, but the sight of someone among the graduates on stage saps all of the life and warmth and blood out of you. Your ability to see straight immediately impaired, your logic a candle blown out by the wind.

Jason Carver.

It turns the whole world sideways to see him standing there, mostly recovered, that stupid plastic smile on his face. Fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck you—

Robin tugs at you gently, and when you turn to look at her you can see the concern and perhaps alarm in her eyes, you’d seized up like an ambush predator about to rip into something wildly, and she’d followed your gaze to the man that witch-hunted your wonderful Eddie until the day he died.

“C’mon, let’s get into line okay?” You didn’t miss the way Robin’s voice dipped down at the end of her sentence, softening with the intent to placate you- whether it was to keep you from attacking Jason, or from breaking down, you didn’t know. She smiled supportively, and when that hand squeezed your arm again it was comforting rather than afraid.

You kept your focus squarely on Robin and the Principle, but even with that and the sea of eyes staring out at all of you it was nauseating to be within his presence again- to know that he got to live on, to move on and be happy and get a bunch of cheap fucking accolades after what he’s done to Eddie, what he’s done to Max. You squeeze Robin back, working your jaw as you study the unique shapes of her face, her nose, the flattering cut of her hair. You’re trying hard to remember to be happy, and you’re happy for her, but it’s impossible to completely quell the white out rage at how unfair this all was.

Eddie should be here, he should fucking be here.

Names are called and diplomas received, cheers and tears and all the merriment of a celebratory day. It’s drawing closer and closer to you, and there’s a ringing in your ears that makes you breathe hard. Robin goes before you, and you can see the anxious tension wrapping around her- but it’s not for herself, it’s for you and the overwhelming likelihood you were about to do something drastic.

You can do this, be calm, be reasonable, don’t screw this up.

But it’s being passed into your hands, papery smooth and cheap for all it was meant to represent, and the ghost of Eddie is stepping in time with you.

You turn, smile bright into the lights, and give your principle and teachers a single, shining finger.

The gasps have just barely begun to sound at your blatant insult and you’re already taking off as fast as you can, tearing your cap and gown away with such enthusiasm that they don’t touch the floor before you’ve slammed through the doors that lead into the rest of the empty school. You’re running, running and with each press of your foot into the ground it reverberates up you body, springs you forward just a little bit faster.

You’re laughing, laughing, hysterical and you can hear Eddie’s woops and hollers and ‘You actually did it! You madwoman! I knew you had it in ya!’

You’re almost out of the school, never bothering to look back, and with each step Eddie’s grows fainter, more ephemeral. By the time you burst out of the front doors, laughter has turned to full, choking, breath stealing sobs- and now you’re no longer running with Eddie, but away from every memory turned sour.

You don’t know where you’re going, can’t really see through the tears, so you just go. Straight across the street and directly into the forest, going and going until your lungs burn and you’re far enough away from the school you no longer can hear the sounds of life. You’re aching from the hips down but it’s a good sort of pain, it’s the kind that makes the pain in your head and heart feel a little less overwhelming.

You don’t know when you stop running away and start walking just to walk, letting the beautiful placidity of nature flit up around you. Even when you were falling apart, trees would continue to sway in the wind, birds would keep chirping, and deer would still graze.

In the distance you can see a breakage in the tree line, and after a good ten minutes of staggered walking you find yourself at the edge of a familiar cliff- a quarry that had been used in the ultimately futile attempt to keep Joyce Byers from finding her son.

It’s so… distant, out here. Like there wouldn’t be consequences for a single thing you did. Like a world didn’t exist outside of that watery abyss below.

You scream.

It’s bloodcurdling, and so harsh that it rips up your throat, your chest burns. You suck in a breath as sharply as you can, choking on a cough- and scream once more.

You can’t hear anything anymore, deafened by your own heartbeat and the ringing in your ears. Your hand rests over your mouth after the second time, and you double over like you need to vomit the rest of the sounds out. Nothing comes, so you just pant into your skin and allow the chills to pass.

When you right yourself, all you feel is a bone deep exhaustion, you want to go home. You didn’t even know if the prior desire to drink yourself into a stupor remained, seemingly cleared out by everything else that had run through you for the past half hour. Instead you just wanted to put on one of Eddie’s old shirts and rest. Not just sleep, but to actually be rid of the weariness for once. What you’d give for that is indescribable.

You want to be rid of this stupid diploma as well, the meaning of it bleak and shallow when you’d already experienced more in your short life than most ever would their entire lives. The only thing that kept it stuck to your hand was the weight it held for Eddie when he was still alive.

You wonder if he’d visit your dreams again tonight, you hoped that they would be pleasant for once- please- but you held no hope for that, really. If anything it would be sharper than it had in many days, brought to a head by your emotional and literal fatigue.

You’re already on your way home, following the roads instead of the dense forest, and a bit of frustration peaks at your own dramatics. Really had to run away instead of driving the car huh?

The velvet darkness of night is in full swing by the time you reach the trailer park from the quarry, your legs burning and sore from the sudden bouts of exertion you’d decided upon- not at all aided by the jog you’d taken up about halfway home when you realized just how fucked you’d actually made yourself by not driving like a reasonable person.

It has you limping slightly, and when you finally see your home you plant your sweaty hands on your knees. You resent the thought of what you’ll find inside, knowing Susan was probably stealing your original plan for the night and that the moment you stepped inside the beautiful apathy that had found its way to you would be shot down by recurring anger. Was it fair, to be angry? Perhaps not, no. But it didn’t prevent it from lingering there like a plague.

However, to your benefit and unrelenting agony, Wayne Munson was sitting at the table outside his trailer fixing you with the full and unbridled weight of his heavy eyes. When you straighten up it’s with a little more stiffness than should be there, a breath caged at the bottoms of your lungs.

You brace yourself for the conversation coming.

You’d stopped crying a long time ago, but the bright puffy red around your eyes and the wetness in your chest had not vanished and likely wouldn’t until you’d let exhaustion claim you. It was apparent that Wayne himself had not missed your state of distress, his unkempt brows drawing in concern as you approached.

“Hi there, sweetheart.”

“Hello, Mr. Munson.”

Once upon a time he’d told you to call him Wayne, once upon a time you had. But now it brought a sharp pain to your chest to speak with such familiarity, and so you’d separated yourself as you bled from your heart. You take your seat at the bench timidly, knees drawn together and diploma discarded. You refrain from a relieved sigh when the strain finally leaves your legs for the first time in hours.

There’s a certain degree of formality and conduct you inflict upon yourself the few rare times Wayne drifts into your life. Because yes, you loved Eddie, and losing him had destroyed you- but Wayne Munson had, for all intents and purposes raised Eddie and loved him as his own, and that was a type of pain you doubted you’d ever be able to fully comprehend. It felt wrong to act like some downtrodden tragedy in his presence, especially when the blame for his death fell squarely on your own shoulders.

Despite this, Wayne never looks at you with anything more than fondness and shared sorrow.

The quiet is a bit comforting, content to let it linger as Wayne takes his time gathering his thoughts. You’ve none to give yourself, the fibers of your mind whittled away by everything that had happened, today and not. Another cigarette finds it’s way into Wayne’s hands even though you can smell the lingering burn of the one he’d likely just finished as you stepped into the threshold of the trailer park.

The lighter flickers, and you recognize the skull pattern on it’s silver facade, smoke begins to curl into the twinkling stars. You nervously tug at your unkempt clothes, feeble gaze studying with reinforced interest the splintered surface of the table.

“I meant to call… congratulate ya,” he finally finds his voice to say. “Big day, whole world ahead of you.”

You smile a little bashfully, and with a slew of other emotions that turn your face into a grimace as you shoot your eyes back down to your fidgeting hands. “Thank you… I uh- I almost didn’t go.”

Wayne didn’t need to ask, and didn’t. He knew what would stop you, even if it was a blatant case of self-sabotage. “It’s good that you went. It’s what he would have wanted.”

Wayne makes a little gesture of the brow. “Speaking of, I have some… things of Eddie’s I want you to take.”

His voice is a little raw on Eddie’s name, and your eyes shoot up belatedly when it registers just what he’s saying. “Mr. Munson- I-I- can’t do that, his stuff belongs with you, Eddie was your nephew.”

“And I genuinely believe,” he begins to shift in his seat, throwing one leg over the bench. “That one day you would’ve been his wife. So I’m giving it to you, ‘cause it’s also what he would’ve wanted.”

Wayne stands before you can protest and crosses into forbidden territory, an invisible threshold you know you could physically never dare to cross ever again. The trailer. It was funny, you’d spent more days and weekends there than you could count anymore, and now the very thought of touching even that front door is enough to have you unwinding at the edges. It catches you helplessly and keeps you rooted to the bench.

He’s speaking as he steps back through the door, and the objects clasped in his hands are so familiar you want to moan with agony. You feel shot.

“I know you’ll take care of ‘em, and that’s all I ask.”

Set in front of you is a box of thick, chunky silver rings, and an immaculate electric guitar.

“You know well as I that these were his pride n’joy, nothing else on this I can think of Earth he’d fight tooth and nail for. So it’s only fitting it goes with the girl he’d do the same for.”

Wayne can hear your rattling exhale as your fingertips trace the very outline of the guitar, watches the haggard way you pull it close and tuck it into your lap, curl around it like it’s a child you need to protect from the elements. He’s been watching you for some time, since that Henderson boy informed him of Eddie’s passing, knowing full well the two of you were virtually never apart from the moment you met.

He hoped above all else that someone else was noticing how unwell you clearly still were.

Wayne would not be ashamed to say he had been taken in by your charm fast when you first met. The polite Mr. Munson and the soft, warm way you’d talk about his nephew anytime the two of you were alone. Usually when you were waiting for Eddie to come back from whatever he’d been getting himself into. Wayne had watched the two of you knit yourselves together, and the way you’d suffused your personalities.

He watched leather and metal creep into your style with fond amusement, and he’d watched Eddie come crawling out of the hole he’d hid himself in for years with absolute joy. Wayne didn’t need to see the future to know he’d be calling you Niece someday likely soon, and had been fully anticipating the happy conclusion of your stories.

So the way the life had bled out of you was obvious, the dullness to the hair and eyes, the loss of weight, of will. You were clinging on by tatters and Wayne feared that you wouldn’t find a way back up.

Maybe there was a bit of selfishness in him wanting to give you Eddie’s prized belongings- just so that he wouldn’t have to look at them anymore, but never worry about what state they were in. But… perhaps it would be the last thing to keep you alive when all else failed.

“Thank you,” you whispered, and when your fingertips traced the silver chords you could picture Eddie right there with you, his gentle encouragements and genuine excitement when you’d get something right. “I- I don’t know what to say…”

Wayne as always takes his time to respond, tired eyes stare off into the trees, but you know it’s not what he’s seeing.

“Eddie… Eddie was strugglin’ when he first came to me, all those years ago. Yknow that?”

He’d mentioned it briefly, but Eddie had always been prone to changing the subject, dismissing his own struggles with ‘my old man was hardly a Neil Hargrove, just a snake.’ You nod, though there’s a lingering guilt at being so eager to find out more. Perhaps you just wanted something new- because if you had something new, it was a tiny fraction of a moment that he was alive again.

“His father didn’t just treat him poorly, he used Eddie. Kid was learnin’ to pick locks before he ever understood his father was settin’ him up to take the fall. Kid couldn’t ride a bike but he could hotwire a car.” Wayne’s head shook, disappointment and anger written in the way his jaw worked aggressively. “His mother didn’t give a shit about him, he was an alcohol induced mistake as far as she was concerned. So in the end, Eddie was alone.

When I finally got my hands on him- and that wasn’t easy- he was beyond lost. He didn’t know who to be, or how to be. I was terrified I’d lose him to his fathers ways, if only because that was all Eddie knew. So when that boy took a shine for guitar? For- for that board game and whatever music he liked to listen to? It was a blessin’. He was becoming someone, himself, and I knew he’d be okay.”

The heavy weight of Wayne’s gaze returns to you. “I’d been so excited for him to just be alright, I never considered how it’d be to see him thrive. And when he was with you? He was. Eddie talked about you every chance he got, anythin’ that reminded him of you and to anyone who would listen- mostly me.

Eddie never dreamed of the future- of becomin’ a rockstar or meetin’ his heroes, sure. But I’d never heard him talk about pursuin’ jobs or lookin’ at houses to buy until you gave him the time of day. So thank you, sweet girl, for makin’ him so happy that he actually wanted to meet his future. I just wish he’d have gotten the chance to see it for himself.”

The tears are heavy down your face, you’d stopped looking at Wayne and were gripping the box of his rings tight enough to make your knuckles and the ends of your fingers turn white. You’d grabbed it in the fear of damaging his guitar, but it only hurt worse when you could feel the rattle of the rings that hadn’t been left behind.

You two sit there in silence for a long time, cradled in the gentle sounds of life continuing on.

You don’t know how long you stand outside Dustin Henderson’s front door. Probably only minutes, but it feels closer to hours. You’ve had Eddie’s rings and guitar for a handful of days now, his prized instrument the first and last thing you see every day, and much like the metalhead himself you tell it good morning and goodnight. In your case however, it’s meant for someone else, someone you hope is listening.

In the end, you couldn’t bear to keep all of his jewelry, you loved his rings but could hardly wear any of them, and something about them sitting unused in your room had felt disrespectful- so you did the only thing you could. You gave them to the one person in the whole world you could think of that would deserve them.

The first time you knock on the door is quiet, hesitant as you will yourself to go through with this. It had been enough time since… since, but that didn’t mean much. You yourself were still bound to the crushing depths of grief, and with that came sore spots and sensitivities you couldn’t so easily relinquish just because another had good intentions with whatever was said or done. Would it be cruel of you, to do this to Dustin?

The second time you knock is harder, and that time you get a polite “just a minute!” from who you can only assume is Dustin’s mother, the door swinging open to reveal the pleasant woman in question. She has a cat dancing around her ankles, and she greets you cheerily as she ushers you inside, fond familiarity after so many times picking up and dropping off her son. “He’s in his room, dear.”

You can hear the chattering and activity of Dustin within his room as you amble toward his door, muttering madly to himself- or perhaps Suzie- and throwing things about, there are errant words about grades and upcoming tests, and you suspect he’s cheating again. Or at least, that’s the best you could discern without seeing him. You’re standing close enough to hear him clearly, hand lowering and raising a few times, before you stretch your index finger, tapping your nail against the sliding door.

“Hold on! I’m—”

“Dustin.”

With a single word he’s gone deafeningly silent.

The door slides open and Dustin is staring at you with something like guilt and burning severity. You two haven’t talked the way you used to since… since everything went wrong. It was usually reserved for quiet nights of white hot shame and anguish, needing the only other person in the entire world that could understand the exact brand of pain bubbling and blistering on your heart.

It was hard- in daylight- to even look at each other without the feelings crawling back up. A frog in your throat choking out all pretense of being okay and normal and, perhaps most heinously, that either of you were ready to try and move on.

“Uh… Hey, didn’t- didn’t expect to see you…at all.” His hand comes up behind his head, scratching at the curled nape of his neck nervously as he takes you in. You’re faring no better at the moment than he is, fidgeting here and there and looking everywhere but in Dustin’s eyes. He’s not surprised by it, he remembers watching you the moment Eddie’s struggle had ended. You weren’t exactly liable to be a social butterfly anymore. “Are you okay? Needing to talk?”

“Yeah, yeah… M’okay, sorry for dropping by uninvited, I just-”

Your chin dropped to your chest with coiling frustration, talking to Dustin didn’t used to be so hard- he was one of those kids that you could pull up any hypothetical in the world, and he’d call you an idiot but never once make you feel stupid. Mostly because he’d explain the obvious right way, rather than dismissing you outright.

Now it seemed like the only time you could speak without struggle was when all the horrors wanted to come spilling out without relent.

“Wayne talked to me… a few days ago. He gave me some stuff…”

You fish in your pockets with trembling fingers, and when you present your open palms to Dustin, the remainder of Eddie’s rings sit there glittering at him.

“I want you to have these. Most of them are too big, but it feels wrong to just have them sitting there, so…”

You can see Dustin’s chin wobbling as you gently settle the sterling fragments of Eddie’s life into his hands. He rolls them around in his hands for a moment, and with a shaking breath he puts on as many as he can- some of them are a bit too big still, but he’d grow into them, Eddie had given him the chance to do so after all. Those are immediately put on Dustin’s desk, right beneath a light where they could be on display, a show of his great pride in having known and been brothers with the Freak of Hawkins’ High.

“We shouldn’t have left him,” Dustin’s voice is a tragic whisper in his lively bedroom. “We should’ve found a way.”

“I know.”

“All I can see is his face just… Staring at us. And him just- laying there while we ran.”

You and Dustin both have gone ‘round this in circles more times than you could care to count anymore, this unrelenting tide of guilt that usually ended in tears over the phone- or perhaps even in each others arms. You didn’t talk very often anymore, but you didn’t need to talk to pick him up at two in the morning and sit together in the silence. A ratty red booth seat with a head laying on a shoulder, and a sweet milkshake that tastes like vinegar when laced with sorrow.

“Dustin, there was nothing we could do. It- it was hard enough for us to haul ourselves up that rope, we never would have been able to get Eddie through.”

Dustin makes a little micro-expression that stinks of denial, but you don’t hold it against him even as you cross your arms, you’d been in his position enough times to know he wasn’t blaming you, just himself. Eddie’s best friend and he couldn’t even save him when it counted most.

“Y’know…” you begin slowly, a little smile curling at the edges of your face. “Eddie would be so excited to see you wearing his rings.”

Dustin’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “You think?”

“Ohhhh yeah…” You nod, puckering your lips as you step a little closer. “Eddie was… God he adored you, Dustin. He loved all you kids- his sheepies- but you were something special to him. I think he thought of you as a brother, really. Anytime he’d talk about Hellfire it’d always circle back around to you, something you’d said or done- what you were wearing, what you’d said about what someone else was wearing.

He was over the moon every time you liked something he liked, or took his side on… anything really. I think he’d have lost his mind if he ever got to see you wearing his stuff.”

It dragged a little lightness into Dustin, his smile widening as he toyed with the accessories encircling his fingers. He’d always looked up to Eddie a little bit, not that he’d given a shit about how cool Eddie was or wasn’t, Dustin had already broken into secret Russian labs to fight off sapient flesh monsters made out of hundreds of dead people. But Eddie had turned himself into an impenetrable shield for the rest of the weirdos in Highschool that weren’t so impervious to the opinions of their peers.

“I think he’d be scared.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… At this rate I’m gonna dress better than he did.”

You laughed gently, and after an affectionate pause you reached out to grab Dustin’s shoulder with a quiet ‘c’mere’ and crushing him into a hug. It was hard to let go.

With a final squeeze however, you forced yourself apart and rubbed at your face with the palms of your hands. “Okay… Okay. I’ve gotta go, work is in an hour and I really don’t need to survive the Upside Down just to be eaten by a fifty-three year old woman with a draconian understanding of how coffee works.”

“Alright,” Dustin’s hand shot up to point at you, brows raising playfully. “If you need a rescue, you know how to contact me. I’ll stage a coup and everything.”

When you stepped out the door of Dustin Henderson’s house, you felt just a touch lighter than you had going in. Like those rings had been weighing you down- but more. Like they’d been snares, trapping up some of the inky black that stirred in the waters of your soul, and when you’d gifted them it’d taken all that ink with.

There was a guilt in it, but reprieve as well- you knew Eddie would be happy to see that tiny smile that touched your lips for the first time in weeks, and that it was sincere for once.

“Are you… fucking kidding me.”

How did you manage to lose something that you really shouldn’t be losing in a place as small as this.

A Smith & Wesson that apparently she’d brandished on Steve once upon a time, gifted to you by none other than Nancy Wheeler after the second time everything went to hell and Billy died. It was still loaded, and now you couldn’t fucking find the thing. Nervousness was beginning to turn to panic, knowing full well that Susan wasn’t faring the best these days.

Some stupid argument you’d had the weekend prior. You couldn’t even remember what for- just that you’d been angry enough to storm out, and when you’d come back the car had been gone. The sourness only worsening at the sight of empty cans of beer where there hadn’t been when you took off.

You’d already checked through your whole disastrous bedroom half a dozen times by now, each pass carrying you from bargaining, ‘I probably am just not seeing it.’ To outright panic. It had to be here, you couldn’t afford any other option. Eventually your hunt bled out into the rest of the small space, checking cabinets and drawers for where you might have accidentally misplaced it.

You eventually found yourself even in Max’s room, kept pristine like some sacred space that could be contaminated by the slightest disturbance. You tried your best to keep things immaculate, but it was hard when your hands were trembling. It was bad enough you hadn’t been there for your sister, you really didn’t need to be the one to accidentally give her mom an easy way to check out.

“C’mon shithead, show yourself.” You’re looking in nooks and crannies now, places neither you nor any rational human would ever have put the weapon, either side of the fridge, in the hampers, beneath the sink- maybe Susan had found it and just moved it elsewhere one day for… whatever reason she’d do that. It didn’t matter why, it just needed to not be with Susan.

You’ve exhausted all your other unusual options, so now you’re on your knees in the living room and have your fingers jammed up underneath the couch, wishing you’d brought a flashlight to just look. Your fingers suddenly come into contact with a heavy and familiar hilt and relief is like soothing warm water on your hair. It’s a struggle to get a grip on it with so little leeway beneath the piece of furniture, but you manage to hook it on your pinkie and drag it into the blessed light.

The thing was meant for self defense, but had become more of a memento.

“Hawkins is dangerous, but… I’m sure you got that memo already.” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t captivated by Nancy Wheeler’s beautiful coy smile. She’d always had that about her, the ability to look so sweet even as she did things like lay a revolver in your hands and tell you that you were in constant peril.

“Yeah, you could say that.” Your own smile is bashful. “Thank you, Nancy. I appreciate this. I know Max likes to act like she’s invincible but—”

“They’re not, I know.” Nancy rolls her eyes playfully as she leans up against the exterior wall of her two story home, a pretty thing that oozes suburban charm you wish you could wrap yourself up in. “Mike thinks he could singlehandedly take down the US Government sometimes.”

“I mean…” you nudge her with your hip. “You kinda did exactly that, Miss Wheeler.”

You’d loved the way she’d laughed, the sound sticking with you for days.

You stare at the gun, turning it over as it glints gray against your fingers in the low light of the trailer. You remember wishing you’d brought it with you when you’d all gone to Lovers’ Lake, though Nancy had helpfully pointed out that it would’ve been rendered useless by the water anyway, much to your chagrin.

That aching wish had come back with a vengeance when you’d gone to the parallel house in suburbia, looking for Nancy’s guns in the pursuit of self-defense. It only figured that cruel bastard had the power to stop time… or… whatever the fuck it was he did.

You don’t know what it is about this night, this moment sitting on the floor with this weapon on your hand. Maybe it was the rare sobriety, or the perfect circumstances, or pure luck, or fate. Maybe it was as simple as bestowing a little piece of Eddie to wonderful, brilliant Dustin Henderson and knowing- no matter what happened to you- some part of him would survive on in that boy.

But suddenly, an epiphany struck you hard enough to have chills falling down your skin.

Time was frozen in the Upside Down.

Before Eddie, before Max, before Billy and Bob and- before everything.

You realize in a detached way that you’re shaking so hard the gun is rattling in your grip, that you threaten to drop it and so it’s placed with all the carefulness you can muster onto the table. You feel fragile like glass.

What if you could save them all?