#because you all need to know about edwin payne of the dead boy detectives

[certifiablyinsanez]

I am haunted by the detailed, completed map of Hell that Edwin took notes on. You don’t understand, it makes me sick. It’s one thing to have a basic layout, a vague idea, or a rudimentary map but it was meticulously detailed. Down to doors and what they do and where they go. Down to secret spaces in the walls. He even knew what ringing an innocuous bell would do. It can only mean one thing. We don’t know when Edwin began trying to escape, but assuming he started from the get go, it means that he spent all his decades in Hell trying to find a way out. He never stopped running. And that is assuming he never stopped. From his second trip, we could see he resorted to his old ways and ran. But he was eventually caught, reduced to pieces. Even when Charles showed up, he didn’t seem very optimistic about their chances. He could feel every second of those 70 years. There were likely many times he fell to hopelessness, trembling in the corner watching himself be desecrated knowing it was going to happen again and again. How long? How many times did he try to be so, so quiet, hoping he would have a few moments before the next round? How many times did he muster the ability to run, just one more time? How long did it take him to run, discovering the ends of each ring? How many times did he sprint up, down, north, south, east, west, trying to escape? And what happened when he finally escaped? How long did it take for him to be able to relax, even a little? Because he can never relax. He must always outrun Death and her constituents because he can’t count on them to be fair. How many times does he look over his shoulder, waiting for the monster to claim its eternal meal once again? His breath of fresh air, his first taste of companionship in ages not only keeps him company, but sticks by him. And then, in that blessing there comes a curse, because now you have something to lose. Because when you taste ambrosia how can you return to starvation? He feels safe with Charles. Happy and comfortable, but the threat always lingers. And he knows that Charles couldn’t fend off Death. He never considered he could fend off Hell beasts; after all, he’s just a ghost kid. He watches innocents be slaughtered on repeat, unphased by the level of violence but no less affected by it, because no one has even a clue what it takes to be this kind. Even at his most happy, he has so, so much to lose and he goes back to Hell when hope was dangled in his face like the fruit of Tantalus. When he returns, he’s subjected to Hell once again, sustaining through torture that obliterates souls, only to watch his best friend, his confidant, his platonic soulmate, die horrifically. This woman who gave him sea-glass courage, so powerful and yet so fragile. Allowed him to be himself, gave him permission to do so. Was the openness to his closed self, and now she is gone. And he retains his composure, his stiff, British posture because it is what has saved him from madness and Despair, protected him, and now the world is darker without Niko Sasaki in it. But surely he saw this coming. After all, humans are messy. And yet, he shows up for their souls, time and time again.

Edwin Payne is THE character.

[shit-talker]

I love Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession.

Do I want Charles and Edwin to be together? Yes, yes, I do, but I am a HUGE fan of staying true to the characters and that reaction? That right there? It fits Charles so much.

Charles doesn't reject Edwin. He tells him that he doesn't know, and that makes sense. These two have spent the better part of 35 years together with limited contact with anyone else regularly - there's no litrally no expectations on their relationship. They were just Edwin and Charles, and that was it. For Edwin, he's gone through a whole journey of self-discovery in this season, but Charles? He hasn't had to think about the change in their relationship. Obviously, it's going to be hard for him to reciprocate those feelings right away!! This is a relationship that's lasted a VERY long time, and in that time, I don't think they went through a lot of major changes like that. It would have been unnatural if Charles had been able to immediately decide that he is fully in love with Edwin, and yeah, we see Charles make decisions very brashly and impulsively, but we've also seen how much he cares about Edwin. Maybe he's worried that if he accepts it now and regrets it later, it would be hard to go back to being friends. Maybe he's confused about Crystal. Maybe he was just in a really high stress environment and didn't know what the hell to do because it was such a shock to him.

I don't like when people call this relationship one-sided because it's not really; it's unexplored, sure, but not entirely one-sided.

[yuripira4e]

I want to preface this post by saying that I love the cat king as a character, especially one that has such a major impact on Edwin and his relationship with his queerness and learning to be okay with it; HOWEVER, I also believe that everyone that genuinely believes he should be a love interest for Edwin should read this. (Also if you just like the cat king as a character and want to understand his character better and why his and Edwin’s relationship is not something that would be healthy or “real” for either)

[asidian]

I've seen a lot of talk about how hell affected Edwin's pain tolerance, but not very much breaking down how it seems to have affected the way he manages emotion. So to that end, here we go:

Edwin Payne vs emotions (and how his no good very bad helltime messed with him something awful)

Dead Boy Detectives does a very good job early on of establishing the fact that Edwin is not particularly good with people. He's stilted, he's repressed, and though he can be incredibly kind to the people he cares about, he can also be quite abrasive, particularly to those he doesn't know well.

Time and time again, we see Charles step in to be the face man. Charles is the one to greet the clients, to take note of their names, to set them at ease. Charles is the one to support Crystal emotionally, and his interactions with Edwin seem to imply that he's done the same for Edwin, over the years. Charles has to remind Edwin to mind his bedside manner, and he explains to Crystal that Edwin forgets how to talk to people sometimes, because of how long he spent in hell.

In short, these boys compensate for each other's strengths and weaknesses in a lot of ways, and Charles is very much the one doing the emotional heavy lifting in this partnership.

And there's a reason for that, laid out in the text and subtext all throughout the show, and the narrative handles it brilliantly.

Edwin's actor does a fantastic job in expressing the character's reactions – or rather, lack of them. Because in the most shocking scenes throughout the show, Edwin often doesn't seem as horrified as the others in the face of events that ought to be horrific. In the Devlin house, he seems as though the murders scarcely affect him. When the jumper at the top of the lighthouse throws herself down, he's downright composed in comparison to everyone else.

And Edwin repeatedly shows or expresses that emotion makes him uncomfortable. When Crystal and Charles are fighting in episode five, he requests that they set their feelings aside until the case is finished. At the end of the episode, he says that the day has been entirely too full of emotions for his taste.

So, what is it specifically about emotion that bothers him so much?

In hell, emotion meant an awful, bloody death.

Panicking over potential incoming horrors? Nope, sorry, too loud. Dead again. Having a sobbing breakdown in a corner? Nope, sorry, too loud. Injured and trying to keep it down so it doesn't get worse? Nope, sorry, that's too loud, too.

Again and again, we see Edwin trying to tamp down on his emotions, but also, tellingly, trying to keep his emotions subdued and quiet.

When Charles finds him in hell, he's crying without making a single sound. When Esther starts to torture him in episode eight, he doesn't scream at first. He's trained himself out of making noise when something hurts or frightens him.

Of course he wants to set emotions aside until the case is done. He's spent seventy years learning what happens if you don't. You take care of business first. If, and only if, there's an after? That's when you let yourself feel.

Early on, when Edwin and Charles need to find the correct book but Edwin is unable to access their office due to the Cat King's bracelet, Edwin is upset. He's frustrated and out of sorts, blocked from making progress on the thing he knows he needs to be doing – hurting himself trying to get his arm through the mirror until Charles stops him. It's Charles who has to step in and help him calm down. It's Charles who has to remind him to breathe through what is very likely a panicked throwback to those times when if he could not solve his way out of a problem, it would very literally get him killed. In this scene, we get a brief glimpse of how Edwin looks when he starts to lose his grip on his rigid control.

And that's before we even get to these things:

Because as awful as the doll spider was, it wasn't the only thing skulking around the Doll House. Charles stumbles across misery wraiths when he goes to rescue Edwin from hell – and we know from the Devlin house episode that Edwin is extremely aware of what they do and how they operate. They were in his space, looking for despair to feed off during a time when he had it in spades.

Taken all together? It's an absolutely heartbreaking picture.

This boy seemed a little socially awkward before his death, from what we see of his time before hell. But afterward? He's had seventy long years of having to teach himself to regulate his own emotions, under pain of excruciating torture if he didn't do it well enough.

With an object lesson like that, over and over again, for literal decades, it's no wonder that Edwin has such a hard time navigating emotions and everything surrounding them.

[yinorathedragontamer]

Could you do a Dead Boy Detectives Cat King x reader Payne, Edwin’s sibling who is a ghost after a freak accident and helps them out. They always put the boys needs above their own. After the first Cat King meeting they get a little jealous of their brother but they know it’s wrong. Of course Monty and the others would like Edwin.

Pairing: Thomas "the Cat King" x gn! ghost! Payne! reader, mild implied Monty x reader if you squint, Edwin Payne x sibling! reader

a/n: tysm for this request! i hope it is to your liking and i hope it's not too ooc<3

warnings: jealous reader, it's implied that reader could be interested in Monty, Charles and Crystal [Cat King talks about which form he should take, inspired by the scene in the show when he turns into Monty and Charles to try and seduce Edwin], i wasn't sure whether these warnings were necesarry but i added them anyway just incase

You had been part of the dead boy detectives agency for a while, ever since you had found your brother Edwin again, you stayed by his side, and ofcourse Charles's too.

you aways helped out, kept them safe the best you could. even when you weren't in a state to do so.

there were uncountable times when you took the hit instead of them, physically and mentally.

you helped calm down ghosts who were lost, helped along with cases to make sure everything went according to plan, steped infront of them if someone tried to attack with an iron weapon, no matter how bad it hurt.

ofcourse, Edwin greatly appreciated it, and yet somehow you feel underappreciated.

they never changed the name, even though you joined, they were the ones people, well, ghosts looked for.

it was always "where are the two boys we were told about" and never "aren't you one of the dead boy detectives?"

when Crystal joined, she didn't seem very fond of you at first, which you honestly didn't mind too much.

could you blame her? she got her memories stolen by her demon ex and now she has no idea where she's supposed to be, where her home is.

when the four of you went to Port Townsend you thought little of it.

it was just one quick little case, right?

wrong.

because of your brother Edwin using a simple spell on a cat that you guys got stuck here.

when you first met the Cat King, you were intrigued to say the least.

maybe it was his way of talking, maybe it was those eyes that captivated you, whatever it was, you felt drawn to him.

but ofcourse, he only looked at your brother.

was it normal to feel jealous like that? you love your brother dearly, you shouldn't want to take something like that from him, right?

right?

when you met Monty, you thought he was pretty cute.

not your exact type, but cute.

but ofcourse, yet again, Edwin was the star of the show.

eventually Monty wanted to hang out with you too, but it was after the third time of him asking to hang out that you found out the only true reason was so he would have an excuse to see Edwin when walking you 'home', which really pissed you off.

so you left, mumbling something about just wanting to take a walk alone for a moment.

much to your luck, they accepted it without another thought.

as you walk, you can't help but notice the amount of cats you see everywhere.

Edwin was supposed to count them all, right?

maybe you could help by counting aswell, and telling Edwin later on how many you saw.

but you were too upset to really do that, so you just kept walking.

until you notice that one of the cats seems to be following you, no matter how many times you turn a corner, or stop for a moment, it seemed to follow your every move.

up untill a specific part, near the woods.

you thought it finally stopped following you, untill you turned around to see none other than the Cat King standing there.

that startled you, for some reason you didn't exactly expect it, and you nearly tripped if he didn't catch you.

"why are you here? why did you follow me?" you instantly question him, which seems to surprise him atleast a little.

"woah, calm down, i wasn't following you, i was just... taking a stroll... okay no i was totally following you" he admits.

"has Edwin counted all the cats yet?" you roll your eyes.

"no, obviously not, he would've gone to find you if he did" you cross your arms and look away from him.

why did he have to look so charming?

you thought he'd leave, but he didn't.

why was he still staring at you?

"you know, i only pay so much attention to him because of his spell on one of my dear cats, you should remember that"

"why would i care who you give your stupid attention to" you practically snarl, though he doesn't seem to be bothered by your tone.

"now, now, no need to feel so attacked. i just want to know, what is it that has gotten you in such a sour mood" he nearly sounds like he cares.

nearly.

"nothing, i just wanted to take a walk" you lie, hoping he'd just leave you alone.

"right, lets try that again, hm?"

he swipes his thumb over your mouth, and much to your surprise you spill everything that you've been keeping quiet about.

"it's just that, i really do love my brother, truly, but sometimes i wish he wouldn't be the one getting all the attention, like, you gave him all your attention back when you wanted to punish him for his 'crime' and Monty only wanted to hang out with me to get closer to him and i just wish that for once, just once, someone i'm interested in would actually see me too. Edwin and Charles, now Crystal too, always get so much credit for solving cases too, and yet i'm the one that keeps getting hurt, that keeps being the target, i always put them above me and ofcourse i'm not greedy about getting attention or gratefullness but does it really hurt that much to ask if i'm okay? if i'm okay with being the bait when it's necesarry? if i'm okay with being ready to face death and go to the afterlife so she'll leave them alone? is it too much to ask for just a little care that's more than just some simple praise?" you ramble on for a bit, barely noticing the small, sypathetic smile on his face.

"now, now, darling, that is quite a lot of emotion, huh?"

"oh fuck off" you snap back, the tingling feeling of the spell he used to make you tell him fading as quick as it came.

"i see you, i have for a while" he admits.

"do you have any idea how hard it is to focus on being intimidating and giving your brother his punishment for using a spell against one of my cats when you're right next to him, all pretty and enticing" he drawls out as if he's a kid who's throwing a tantrum about not getting icecream.

"i mean seriously, have you seen yourself?"

"not exactly, i don't have a reflection as a ghost" you mumble, trying to ignore the growing heat on your cheeks.

he rolls his eyes.

"tell me, what form should i take to entice you to... stay with me, atleast for the night? Monty? Charles? Crystal? i can be whoever you want me to be, my dear [name]" he says as he takes the respective forms of each person he lists, and you notice how even though he practically shape-shifts, one thing always stays the same: those eyes you've grown to love.

"just be you" you murmur, daring to take a step closer to him, to which he subtly licks his lips.

it seems as though he's about to say something, but then he kisses you instead, taking a hold on your waist, he seems to be more gentle than you expected, and you kiss him back.

if someone told you that this kiss lasted for hours, you would've believed them.

it felt as if you got that peacefull after-life that you were promised, without ever leaving behind those you care about.

reluctantly, you both pull away.

"can i stay with you tonight, then?" you mutter quietly.

the Cat King nods, taking your hand, ready to lead you to his abode.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[pisces-swirlix]

Payneland Fic Recs

There are some fics that I feel like don’t get talked about enough (or at all), so this is my attempt to give them more recognition! Even though nobody asked lol. Also, I don’t know the tumblr handles for like any of these authors, only their AO3 usernames, so sorry :(

love, in context B24-16 by experimentaldragonfire

Rating: General

Words: 19k

Status: Complete

“Archaeology student Edwin Payne didn't expect the chatty tourist at the excavation fence to become someone he couldn't imagine life without.”

Not gonna lie, I probably overlooked this one a few times, but I’m SO glad I finally read it. It was cute and emotional and damn, this pulled at my heartstrings SO hard. Seriously, there’s a beach date and a museum date and more than one scene where being soaked by the rain is involved. I binged the whole thing in one sitting.

The Manuscript of Real People by paraph

Rating: Mature

Words: 42k 64k

Status: In Progress

“Britain, 1976. Three years into boarding at Saint Hilarion's School, Edwin Paine is assigned Charles Rowland as a roommate.”

This one is pretty heavy. It’s not necessarily sad, but there’s a lot of violence and bullying and homophobia. However the plot really does pull you in, and it’s a really good slowburn. but like, slow slow.

The Case of the Couples Retreat by juliasfanart

Rating: Teen

Words: 17k 23k

Status: In Progress Complete!

“It should have been just another case for the Dead Boy Detective Agency - a pair of missing ghosts to find - if not for the fact that they had to investigate a luxury resort dedicated to couples counselling... for ghosts. And what better way for Edwin and Charles to infiltrate it than to pretend to be just another couple needing to revive their relationship?”

This one is like the opposite of the last one. No dark themes that I can think of, it’s fun and cute while also shining a pretty strong light on the emotions of the characters. This fic has me blushing and swinging my feet.

the notetaker’s ode by imnotcryingipromise

Rating: General

Works: 3k

Status: Complete

“In which Charles realises that Edwin’s notebook contains more than just information about escaping Hell.”

Fluff lovers, this one is for you. Edwin has some very cute things in his journal. Simple and sweet :)

More Night Stand by in_flux

Rating: Explicit

Words: 8k

Status: Complete

“The last person Charles would have expected to meet at a club is Edwin Payne. And they're both happy enough to leave together - with a little help from Niko.”

University AU (kind of). It’s got some pretty hot smut in here, but it also is very cute to see them both have these embarrassingly obvious crushes that the other isn’t picking up on while they both try to seem cool and casual. It’s technically done, but I’m holding on hope that the author will release more someday because this AU is awesome.

[niko-sasaki-dbd]

Queue Interview with the Dead Boy Detectives Cast 👻🔎

This is going to be a long post! (These are my favourite parts from the interview!)

George Rexstrew as Edwin Payne

Acting Inspiration

Oh, gosh. Well there are so many. Meryl Streep, obviously. Viola Davis, obviously. More recently, I was blown away by Enzo Vogrincic in Society of the Snow. And Eden Dambrine in Close.

Cast Camaraderie

I loved working with all my co-stars. I’m practically related to Jayden [Revri] and Kassius [Nelson] at this point. Yuyu [Kitamura] is a dream. Jenn [Lyon] is mother hen. Bri[ana Cuoco] is the cool older sister. Josh[ua Colley] is the cheeky cousin. Ruth [Connell] is the godmother who gives you a card and £20 for your birthday. It really is one big happy dysfunctional family. I’m grateful for all of them, on and off camera.

Jayden Revri as Charles Rowland

Dressing The Part

These heads of departments, and Monique and Kelli, [they’re] unbelievable. They were so collaborative. We went through different hairstyles and different things we could do with the makeup. We added a bit of eyeliner for [Charles] just to make it feel more 80s. And then Kelli, I mean, it was like she did her research on me. She added badges to the jacket which kind of represented me as Jayden, before I even got there. It wasn’t until I got the haircut, put the makeup on, put the costume on, and I was like, Okay, this is Charles.

Cast Camaraderie.

The vibe was just incredible. Me and George, we really wanted to set the tone for the series and make sure that everyone’s having fun and it’s an environment where we could all talk about how we’re feeling. We were just such a big support blanket for each other. If there was ever a time that somebody needed space, or they wanted to prep themselves for a certain scene they were going to film, we all respected that and we were each other’s cheerleaders the whole entire time. And it’s still the same to this day now. I think it really shows when you watch the series that we all knew what we were making and we wanted to make something that we would want to watch, which we’ve all done. I cannot shout out my castmates enough. Forever grateful.

Kassius Nelson as Crystal Palace

Acting Inspiration

I watched a lot of animation. I used to watch the Addams Family, the black-and-white one, because I didn’t have Disney Channel or anything. Monk, Murder She Wrote, I was watching those things, so maybe I was actually destined to play a detective, now that I’m thinking about it. I watched a lot of cartoons and animations. I just liked the idea that I could be engrossed in another world. And I always wanted to know what happened next, or when the film finished, I would be like, “Okay, but then what? What happens after that?” And now I get to be part of that question or that answer (...).

Dressing the Part

We have a fantastic costume designer, Kelli Dunsmore. I always say that she literally wove the story into the fabric of the clothes, because there are things that she foreshadowed in the clothing that happened episodes later. Or, if characters start to get in some sort of relationship with each other, that will be reflected in the clothes that they wear or the colors that they have. Or, if they’re feeling any type of emotion, (...)l. Crystal wears these massive platform boots that must be about four or five inches. They’re huge, very heavy, but it’s funny because they change the way that you walk. (...) She’s not very light, which makes sense with the things that she’s going through and the experiences that she’s having. Practically, it helped, because Jayden and George are like six-foot-something. So, if I film a scene and I’m at the bottom of the lens and they’re up there, that helped. I’ve got a good couple inches on my feet.

Yuyu Kitamura as Niko Sasaki

Acting Inspiration

Sandra Oh is a woman that I will forever be indebted to because who she was on Grey’s Anatomy was so formative for me. The most interesting thing about her character was not that she was Asian, but that she was such a fully fleshed person with flaws and amazing qualities. And her work ever since I think has been iconic, so she’s a woman that I deeply look up to.

Landing the role in Dead Boy Detectives

I auditioned from Hong Kong and my dad was my reader because all of my acting friends were in New York. My dad was able to carve out time and be an amazing reader. And in that audition side, it’s the scene where Niko gets to see the “Dead Boys” for the first time, and there’s a line in there that was something along the lines of me talking to Edwin and asking, “Do you two make out with each other?” And my dad stopped the tape and he was like, “What are you reading for?” And I was like, “Don’t give me notes, it’s fine!” And so that was the audition process! I think within a month I found out I got the part and it’s been an absolute dream ever since.

Dressing the Part

(...) I think on paper Niko can seem like a certain type of character, but even in the choice of every costume we did, every color that she wears, every meticulous little piece about everything from her nails to her room, it’s so well curated and thought out. Through her journey, we also find that she’s a woman that wears what she feels. On the surface, she might seem like the most joyful, young, optimistic girl, but it’s the inner confidence and bravery where we find that she’s layered, and she is very much a young woman coming of age.

SOURCE: MEET THE REAL DEAD BOY DETECTIVES (AND FRIENDS)

[seiya-starsniper]

Six Degrees of Separation - Ch 6 COMPLETED

(Sandman x Dead Boy Detectives)

Relationships: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Crystal Palace/Charles Rowland (DCU), Johanna Constantine/Jenny Green

Rating: Teen & Up | Chapters 6/6 | Words: 12K

Tags: POV Multiple, Hob Gadling gives live advice to a bunch of teenagers, while helping them solve cases, that's it that's the fic, also he maybe plays matchmaker for his hot mess bestie, fic starts out as crystal/charles and ends with charles/edwin, Mutual Pining, Slice of Life, Hob Gadling adopts the Dead Boy Detectives

Tumblr Posts: Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5

Read Chapter 6 below, or at the above link on AO3

A year after Hob’s adopted three teenagers and a full grown adult as his unintentional, supernatural crime-solving family, a small Japanese girl walks into his pub covered in glitter and blood.

And she's with Dream , of all people. Dream, who looks like someone had run him through a blender and spat him out the wrong way. He’s not covered in the same glittering blood as his mysterious companion, but his messy black hair is even more wild and unkempt than normal, and the exhausted look on his face tells Hob he’s just gotten himself out of one hell of a situation and needs to talk about it. 

Well, at least the pub was completely empty so that made things easy. Which, now that Hob thinks about it, was probably intentional intervention on Dream’s part.

“Hello old friend,” Hob greets Dream with a wave as they approach the bar, where he’s cleaning and drying off some pint glasses. Hob turns his gaze down towards the girl, who for all intents and purposes appears human, but somehow still looks like someone out of a cartoon with bubblegum pink hair that is definitely not wig, and wide, iridescent blue eyes a shade of blue he’s pretty sure does not exist in normal human eyes. “And you are—?”

“You don’t look like you’re over 600 years old,” the girl says bluntly, shocking Hob enough that he nearly drops the glass he’s holding. “You’re not feeding children to a giant snake to look young too, are you?” she asks him. 

“Niko,” Dream growls at the girl and Hob’s brain short-circuits even further as he processes the name. “That is not what I told you.”

Hob gapes for a solid minute looking back and forth between the two of them as Dream and Niko (Niko? Niko?!) start arguing about the semantics of immortality. 

“You said he was immortal, so I was expecting a wise old man!” Niko exclaims, gesturing a glittery blood-soaked mitten in Hob’s direction. “Not a guy who looks like a middle school teacher! Esther had to eat kids to look like that!”

“Hob is not eating children,” Dream replies with an exasperated sigh, resting a palm over his head. “For the last time Niko, my sister—”

“Niko? As in Niko Sasaki?” Hob blurts out, interrupting their conversation because otherwise his brain is going to explode. Both Dream and Niko whip their heads at him in surprise. 

“Niko Sasaki with the weirdly large manga collection?” Hob continues as his brain recounts every single thing he’s heard about the girl in the past year. “Niko who tried to set Jenny up with a serial killer and it didn’t quite go as planned? Niko with the parasite fairies that lived inside her for months?”

“You know who I am?” Niko gasps. She turns to Dream, who looks just as shocked as she does. “How does he know me?” she demands. “Wait!” she exclaims before Dream can even reply, turning back to face Hob. “Are you psychic too?”

“No, but I know one who will be very happy to see you,” Hob answers, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re here I’ve heard so much about—oh shit wait! JENNY! GET OUT HERE!” Hob yells at the top of his lungs, remembering belatedly that there was someone in The New Inn right now that would be thrilled to see Niko.

“ Jenny ?” Niko practically shrieks, and both Hob and Dream wince at the high pitched sound. “Jenny’s in London? Wait, why is Jenny in London?”

“Moved over here with Crystal and the boys,” Hob says. “Oy, Jenny!” he calls out again, and this time, the American comes rushing out of the kitchen, looking extremely annoyed but also alarmed.

“What? What’s happening? Are we under attack aga—” she goes silent when she sees Niko. “Niko?” she whispers. 

“Oh my god, Jenny!” Niko cries out, which seems to break Jenny out of her trance. Suddenly, the two girls are rushing towards each other, collapsing into a pile on the floor as they hug and sob. 

“Oh my god is that blood and glitter on you?” Jenny says. “What the fuck? Are you alive? Am I dead? Oh God, I’m dead aren’t I? I can see the grim reaper right over there,” she adds, noticing Dream for the first time as she clutches Niko desperately to her.

Niko giggles. “No silly, that’s Dream. He just looks like that,” she says, gesturing to the Endless, and Hob can’t help but laugh at Dream's dour expression. He’d thought Dream was the embodiment of Death once upon a time because of that face too. “He’s the one who helped me get back to Earth!”

“Back to—where the hell have you been, Niko?” Jenny asks incredulously.

“No, not Hell silly, I was in the Dreaming!” Niko answers brightly. “Although Hell did try to take over, which is why it took so long for me to get back.”

“Hell did what now ?” Hob cuts in, suddenly feeling quite faint. He’s quite glad he’s still behind the bar, else he may have also collapsed on the floor himself. 

“It is,” Dream says with a deep and weary sigh, “quite the tale. It seems you have your own stories to share as well, my friend.”

“I—yeah I do. I’ll close the bar and call the boys and Crystal,” Hob replies. “Best if we get both stories out in one go, I think.”

“Agreed.”

-------------------------

There's a lot of screaming and crying that follows, and Hob is pretty certain he's going to be hard of hearing for the next few days while his eardrums recover. He doesn't mind though. Not when the kids all look so happy.

Niko's soul, it turns out, had been blasted to an entirely different dimension when she’d died, and that had been due to the cocktail of magical essences Niko had been carrying on her person unknowingly at the time. A lucky charm in the shape of a polar bear from someone named Tragic Mick had protected her from the magic that Esther the Witch had used to kill her, but then that magic had collided with the magic of the dandelion sprites. Apparently, when Litty and Kingham left Niko’s body without killing her, they had left some of their essence behind in her body, forging a connection that forced them to go wherever she went. And if all that wasn’t complicated enough, there was also apparently a cursed magic 8-ball! Hob’s really not sure how that played a part in anything, but according to Dream and Niko, the fact that she’d carried it with her at the time was vital to her transformation.

Which is to say, Niko Sasaki was no longer necessarily human. At least, not human by this dimension’s standards. Apparently her hair had once been black, then bleached blonde when the sprites had left her body, and now this newest brush with her own mortality had left her hair bright pink, and her eyes a glowing blue. Apparently it gave her the ability to see in the dark, and also sometimes see the future, amongst other abilities that she and Dream were still discovering.

In short, as she described it, Niko had become “a magical school girl! Without the weird uniform though. But all the cool magic!” 

Dream had come across her when she’d attempted to get back to the reality she knew. Her transformation had given her the ability to dimension walk, though she didn’t know that’s what she was doing when she’d been drawn to the gates of the Dreaming. She’d only walked towards something that felt like home to her, and the gates of the Dreaming, also recognizing Niko as one of its original inhabitants, had swung open easily to let her and the sprites inside. 

Dream himself had not been so welcoming at first. He’d taken Niko’s accidental wandering as intentional trespassing with an intent to invade. Niko and the sprites had tried to explain themselves, but they didn’t get very far before an actual threat to the Dreaming appeared in the form of Lucifer Morningstar and their generals from Hell. Although they were not obligated to, all three joined the battle against Hell, Niko because she felt it was the right thing to do, while Litty and Kingham claimed Hell was no place for faeries. 

In the end, however, the sprites had perished during the battle, giving up their lives and the last of their magic for Niko, which is why she was covered in glittering blood. Apparently, sprite blood doesn’t wash out, but would fade on its own over time. Since Litty and Kingham had died within the boundaries of the Dreaming, Dream had offered them a permanent place in his realm as residents, as gratitude for their sacrifice. They had chosen to become nightmares, which, according to Niko and the others, was entirely appropriate considering their personalities.

Hob’s head is spinning by the time Dream and Niko finish recounting the tale. Edwin and Charles immediately start asking dozens of questions about Niko’s time in another dimension, while Crystal and Jenny bracket the girl on each side, holding her tightly as if she may disappear again if they weren’t around to tether her to this dimension. Johanna shows up at some point to be moral support for her girlfriend too, and further breaks Hob’s brain by confirming she too had been blasted to another dimension due to magic spells gone wrong.

Hob should maybe update his wards to include prevention against interdimensional travel. He’ll figure out the how of that later, though. Right now, tonight was a night for celebrating, school night be damned. It does not escape his notice that he’s the only one of their group that even has to worry about that.

-------------------------

Hours later, Hob finds himself alone at the new Inn with Dream, cleaning up dishes and putting away the chairs for the night. The others had offered at first to help clean up, but Hob had insisted they all go home and rest, but Dream had insisted that he would stay behind to help clean up and well, Hob’s never been able to deny Dream anything. 

Hob hadn’t missed the pointed looks Crystal and Edwin had given him as she and the others had filed out of the pub, nor the curious look from Jenny, and most certainly not the look of abject horror from Johanna. Charles and Niko had been the worst offenders, both giving him two obnoxious thumbs up on their way out. Hob doesn’t even know Niko, this was just getting embarrassing at this point. Everyone seemed to have some sort of opinion on Hob’s relationship (no, not a situationship) with Dream.

Hob really only cares about one person’s opinion though, and he’s currently staring at Hob as he finishes wiping down the tables, the last activity left before he closes up for the night.

“You did a good thing, reuniting those kids,” Hob says to Dream as he tosses his rag on the counter and turns to face his friend. “I've never seen them so happy.”

Dream hums contemplatively. “I hardly did anything,” he replies, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “It was Niko's determination alone that carried her as far as it did, and her bravery that kept my realm from falling. I simply delivered her back to the Waking World.”

“I’m glad she was here, to have your back,” Hob says. “And I’m glad you brought her here. I know you said earlier you didn’t know the kids were here, but did you really not notice?”

“I did not,” Dream admits. “I have been—preoccupied with many things as of late. I simply brought Niko to where I knew for certain that she would be safe. Cared for.” 

“I’m honored,” Hob replies, grinning from ear to ear. “That you’d consider me a good caretaker for her. I would hope you know I’d be happy to care for you too, should you ever need it.”

“I am—aware,” Dream says, his cheeks taking on the slightest hue of pink. Hob briefly wonders if Dream blushes everywhere on his body, or only just on his face. Then he feels his own face heat up as his mind goes off in other directions.  

“Would you like to come upstairs?” Hob asks, trying to distract himself from his wandering thoughts, but then he realizes just how suggestive his invitation sounds and blushes even more. “I mean, I uh, if you don’t have anywhere to be I’d uhm—I’d like to keep talking,” he adds quickly, trying and failing to banish thoughts of what they could be doing in Hob’s flat other than talking . Christ, this was his oldest friend, not some girl he was trying to take to bed for the night. Dream doesn’t respond right away to Hob’s question, only tilts his head at him as if assessing something that Hob cannot see. 

“Hob Gadling,” Dream finally says, his voice suddenly serious. “You are aware I can see into daydreams as well as sleeping ones?”

Shit. 

Well cat’s out of the bag then. Might as well own up to it. Crystal’s never going to let him live this down, Hob knows.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Hob says, before taking a deep breath to calm the rapid beating of his heart. “I really did want to just talk, I promise. I’m a grown man, Dream I know how to take a rejection. I’m happy for just your company, and friendship.” He means every single word of it too, and if Dream didn’t believe him, he could apparently just read his mind to find out. 

“Hmmm,” Dream replies, before he takes one, two, three wide steps into Hob’s personal space. Hob inhales sharply, tasting petrichor and stars and infinity in that single breath. 

“I have been made aware recently,” Dream continues after a moment, looking up at Hob from his eyelashes, “that I carry a lot of ‘baggage’, as Niko likes to put it.”

“We all have our burdens,” Hob replies, with a shrug. “I'd help you carry yours, if you'd let me. Or well, if I could.”

“No,” Dream says. “I asked another once, if she would be my queen, and share that burden with me. She told me the burden would be too great for her, or any mortal.”

“Dream,” Hob starts, more ready to make his case. “I could—”

“No,” Dream interrupts, shaking his head, his gaze suddenly faraway as he recalls what Hob assumes to be a painful memory. “She was right. I would not ask you to take such a responsibility. It would fundamentally change you and leave you unable to live your life as you have been accustomed to these past centuries.”

“But?” Hob asks knowing there is a but in Dream’s tone. Dream sighs, before he meets Hob’s eyes again, his gaze clearer and perhaps a bit…hopeful?

“But perhaps…maybe coffee?” Dream asks shyly. Hob laughs. 

“Did you learn that from Niko too?” Hob teases him.

“In a way,” Dream answers, cryptic as ever. “If you are willing to be patient with me, Hob, I would gladly cherish you as both a friend and… something more than that,” he adds, and Hob’s heart soars. “There are limitations, however, and I—”

“Dream,” Hob interrupts. “Remember how we started? A hundred years between each meeting? That was enough.” He takes Dream's hand into his and kisses it, then moves his lips across each individual knuckle. 

“I don't know how relationships with anthropomorphic personifications are supposed to work, but I know it won't be what I'm used to,” Hob confesses. “And it's okay, Dream. It's enough for me, just to know that you feel something for me too. We can figure the rest out later.”

“You are too free with your affections,” Dream tells him, but there’s no real reproach in his voice.

“Maybe,” Hob replies. “But I have a lot of love to give, what with living forever and all. Let me show you just how much?” he adds, this time unashamedly letting his daydreams unspool from his mind. The innocent and dirty alike. Dream’s eyes widen as he seems to physically taste Hob’s dreams, before his eyes darken and he squeezes Hob’s hand in turn.

“Lead the way then,” Dream says, his lips quirking just the slightest bit into a playful smile. Hob kisses Dream's hand once more and winks, before leading the Endless upstairs to end the night.

[ultimateissuessimp]

Could you do Cat King x gn reader, they are a mage that came to port Townsend and tried to warn Edwin about using magic on cats. As they escort the dead boy detectives to the King they try to have Thomas go easy on Edwin. Cat King gets a little jealous as to why his partner wants to let Edwin off easy. (Edwin reminds the reader of their younger sibling they haven’t seen in while)

I love, love, LOVE this request SO MUCH! Thank you for giving me the honour of writing it! I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

For me? For you.

The Cat King x GN Reader

Word count: 3,041

Warnings: A dead body appearing, but only for a second and without gruesome description, some jealousy coming from the Cat King and a mention of having a dead younger sibling

Y/N had known about the Dead Boy Detectives Agency for quite some time now. They had been watching the two boys' adventures the moment they heard about them, taking care of bigger problems when they encounter them from the shadows, taking on a role of a guardian angel. Well, guardian mage, but the point stands. The reason why they took such interest in those boys was because one of them, Edwin Payne, reminded them of their little brother who died quite a long time ago due to an illness that even magic couldn't cure. They stayed with their brother until Death showed up to collect them.

So the moment they felt their presence in Port Townsend alognside a very skilled medium, they had to finally show themself to the trio. A small lesson in dos and don'ts when it came to this town, something that would not only keep them safe, but also inform them about what could be hiding in it.

Y/N teleported themself into the little apartment that Crystal was renting, scaring the three people inside it to death. Well, at least one of them since the other two were already dead. Immediately Charles got into an offensive stance, ready to fight if needed while Edwin remained cautious and Crystal stood behind both of them, still a bit in shock, a fight or flight mode ready to go in a case of an emergency.

-Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?! - Charles asked, hand at the ready to reach for his cricket bat. At the same time Edwin was thinking of different exits out of the possible danger.

-Calm down, calm down. I come here as a messenger - Y/N said, raising their hands up in defense before crossing them over their chest and looking the trio over. - You could say I've been observing from the shadows what you've been doing for quite some time now. The difference now is that you're in a new place you have no knowledge of. There are dangers here. Rules even. If you like your peace, keep to them. Most important would be to stay away from the cats. Don't even think about using magic on them, you don't want to find out what will happen if you do - they stated, uncurling their index finger as they started talking about the first rule. Then the second one when they mentioned watching out for a witch that lived in Port Townsend, a menace to deal with. Then another one and another one until they were out of fingers to show and rules to tell.

-Why the hell would we believe anything you just said? - Charles asked, suspicious look on his face as he carefully observed Y/N, not even for a second dropping his guard.

-Because I saved your ass so many times you could at least try to trust me. Remember that nasty poltergeist in 30 East Drive, Pontefract? How you got cornered because he smashed all the mirrors and quite literally trapped you inside that house? Yeah, that was me. So have some faith kids. Alright, that should be it. Remember what I said and don't get into any trouble. If you dive, head first, into deep shit, then I don't know how well my influence in town could help to save you. Again - they said before doing a little wave with their fingers and dissappearing in a swirl of black fog.

You'd think that after such a warning, people would listen. Yeah, not Edwin. As much as Charles is stubborn, he's somewhat not dumb enough to not listen to someone who clearly wants to help them, albeit reluctant. Crystal doesn't even know much what to do, so she wouldn't try anything either way, but Edwin... Oh Edwin. Mr. Edwin, Know-It-All, I-Know-Better-Than-You, Why-Should-I-Listen-To-You?, Payne. Of course he would be the one so intelligent, yet so stupidly stubborn, to pull shit like that.

Obviously he just HAD to cast a magic spell on a cat. Now not only does Y/N have to save his ass from a harsh punishment, they also have to deal with a certain moody Cat King that was currently throwing a hissy fit, pacing around and cursing out everything in bloody existence. Y/N rubbed their temples as they listened to their partner rant continously.

-The nerve! Magic! On my cats! They'll be lucky if they walk out of here alive! - Thomas said angrily, running a hand through his hair as he did another circle in front of his throne.

-My love, will you take a deep breath with me, please? I'm sure there's a logical explanation to this. I know you're mad, I understand where that's coming from, I really do, but let's not make rushed decisions okay? - Y/N proposed, walking over to Thomas and stopping him gently by placing their hands on top of his shoulders, before sliding them down his arms to his hands, catching them in theirs and holding tightly.

-Sugar, I don't think there's a logical enough explanation to using magic on my fucking cats - the Cat King hissed out, before finally closing his eyes for a second and taking a deep breath to slightly calm down, not wanting to lash out on his partner.

-I'm sure there is. Will you hear him out at least? - Y/N asked, rubbing soothing circles with their thumbs into the backs of Thomas' hands, wanting to calm him down a bit more.

-Him? Kitty cat, it sounds to me like you know who it was - Thomas said, slight accusation in his voice as he looked at Y/N with his head slightly shifted to the side, eyebrows furred as a scowl started appearing on his face making Y/N cup his cheeks in their hands.

-I think I know who it is for almost a hundred percent, but I've warned them that they would be wise to stay away from your cats - they said, pressing their forehead against Thomas', hoping that they convinced him at least just a bit to go easy on Edwin without particularly saying anything.

-Yet they didn't listen now did they? - The man asked, huffing out some air before wrapping his arms around their waist. - I'll think about being less harsh, but there still must be a punishment. No one gets away with hurting or damaging what belongs to me - he added before planting a kiss on Y/N's lips.

It was finally time for the trio to have a little talk with the Cat King. He had already sent the cat Edwin used the magic on to go and fetch them, but Y/N wanted to be there too before they actually get there to give them another small advice. They promised Thomas that they'll be back soon before they departed in a swirl of black fog like the one before.

-You've done fucked up. What did I tell you, huh? Stay away from the cat and what did you do? You went and used MAGIC on one. Are you out of your mind, Edwin Payne? - Y/N asked with a certain edge to their voice, clearly very annoyed with, mostly Edwin, the group, because there was no guarantee that Thomas would actually go easy on all of them. Especially with all of their smart mouths that only get them into even more trouble.

-I don't see what's all the fuss about. It's just a bit of magic - the ghost teenager said, rolling his eyes sassily before placing his hands on his hips to add even more sass to his statement.

-Don't give me that attitude, young man, you have no idea in what deep shit you are and I specifically told you not to dive head first into any shit. It already took me some time to try and get him to calm down and not send out a swarm of cats to rip you to shreds. Talk any more shit and I won't be able to get your ass out of this one - Y/N said, crossing their arms over their chest as they stared Edwin down before Charles chimed in.

-Him? Who's him? And why is he so important that you speak of him as if he was about to send Edwin back to the pits of Hell? - he asked with a look of confusion on his face as he looked simultaneously at Y/N and the cat that was now sitting a few feet behind them, patiently waiting to continue navigating the group to the warehouse.

-You'll see soon enough. Now come on. There's no time to waste - they said before finally turning sideways and gesturing to their right as an indicator for the teenagers to finally move.

When they got inside the warehouse, Y/N couldn't help, but smile softly and shake their head at their boyfriend's antics. Of course he would put on a show. He wouldn't be the diva cat that he was if he didn't. As they approached the throne and the cats dispersed from before it, leaving only a very massacred body behind alongside three disturbed teenagers with an unfazed mage in front of them, the said teenagers behind Y/N observed the orange cat with confusion and caution written on their faces.

-We were invited to see the Cat King - Edwin said, trying not to let the shakiness in his voice after seeing the dead guy before the be heard.

The trio flinched when the cat disappeared in purple fire, making space for the gorgeous man that is Y/N's boyfriend to appear. They smiled brightly at him and bowed down jokingly, making the Cat King chuckle with endearment, just to get that fire back into his eyes that spoke of danger and anger at not only the disrespect of his rules, but also endangerment of one of his subjects after he saw the group behind his partner.

-Hi - he said as he observed the trio, a faux friendly smile on his face.

-Can all cats do that? - Crystal asked the boys quietly, yet not quiet enough that the Cat King didn't hear which only made him chuckle in amusement.

-"Can all cats do that?" Of course not, I'm a Cat KING - He answered, putting an emphasis on the 'king' part, going full on sass as he usually did. - I can tell you're not the brains of the operation. Sorry, I'm already bored - Thomas added, making a rather mean comment, which he didn't really seem to care about, wanting to get to the center of the problem quickly.

-No need to be rude, darling - Y/N said with a gentle pout to their face before they walked over to where Thomas was sitting and stood right next to the throne, putting their hand on the man's shoulder, a little sign that he could tone it down a bit.

-Hmm - The Cat King only mused before letting out a soft sigh and turning his head towards the cats gathered in the back. - Which one of them used the magic on you? - he asked the cat that fell victim of Edwin's antics.

-The scrawny one that just had the nerve to talk to you - the cat answered, clearly showcasing where the it's personality came from.

That brought out a little 'oh' out of Thomas, before Edwin spoke up again, trying to explain what they were doing and who they were until the Cat King interrupted him.

-Oh I don't care. Using magic on my cats is a total car crash on your part - He said with a cynical smile before lazily pointing with his index towards Edwin. - We... Should discuss your offense. Privately- the man added while standing up from the throne.

Of course Charles didn't like that and tried to stop anything from happening, but Y/N shook their head as a signal not to do it. It would only make the matter worse and they already had a plan of action, so he could screw it up with his little outburst. Edwin talked it out with the other two while Y/N walked over to Thomas and slightly fixed his messy hair, sighing softly as they thought over what to do when they actually go and sort this out.

When the trio came back, Thomas departed himself, Y/N and Edwin to the bedroom they both shared. Weird choice of a place to sort this situation out, but Y/N didn't really question it. Out loud at least.

-So... What should your punishment be? - Thomas said with a large amused grin as he stepped closer towards Edwin.

-How about something that wouldn't involve dangerous things that would result in Edwin going to the afterlife? - Y/N proposed an idea with arms crossed over their chest and eyebrows slightly raised as they looked at their lover with a, just a smidge, pleading look.

-Why not? I don't think that would really be over the top. Seems quite fitting in my opinion - the Cat King said shrugging his shoulders with a smirk as he looked back towards Y/N.

-Please? He just made a mistake. A dumb one, I admit, but it was a mistake. He shouldn't have to lose his ghost life for that - they said, straightening their pose before slightly tilting their head to the side as they kept their gaze only on Thomas.

Clearly he didn't like that constant defending of the boy coming from his partner, so he decided to have a small talk with them off to the side, excusing them both for a moment before guiding Y/N to the one spot he knew Edwin wouldn't see or hear much.

-Why do you care about this ghostly twink so much? What, do you find him cute, is that what it is? I've got to admit, he's quite cute, but I'm literally right here, hello? - Thomas began asking a series of questions, an aura of jealousy surrounding him as he loosely caged Y/N against the wall, his cat personality clearly kicking in as the respect for personal space completely flew out of the window in a matter of seconds when he leaned in so their faces were centimeters away.

-What? No! Kitty cat, he just... He reminds me of Alexander... They both didn't get to grow up and they are similar so much personality wise... I can't help but see Alexander in him, even though I know that he had moved on to the afterlife. Somewhere where I can't follow. Not yet - Y/N explained, letting out a sigh before turning their head and looking off to the side at the clear as day memory of their younger brother filled their mind.

-Shit... I'm sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions... - He said with a look filled with guilt before he rested his head against their shoulder, wrapped his arms around their waist and closed his eyes. - I'll go easy on him for you. Give him something not too hard to do, looking at the fact that he seems like a clever fella. He will have to stay here for quite some time to do that though - Thomas added after pressing apologetic, small kiss against the skin of their neck and then pulling away a bit to look into their eyes.

-Really? You'll do that for me? - they asked quietly, looking back at Thomas with a soft smile.

-For you. Always for you - he said and leaned it to capture their lips with his own in a sweet, short kiss.

After that they went back to Edwin who was looking around, more than likely looking for a way out, but even if he wanted to run, he would get lost, so that would be unsuccessful.

-Alright. I've got just the right punishment for you - Thomas said, stretching out his arms to the sides slightly with a large grin on his face. - Show me your arm. Come on, I don't have the whole night - he told Edwin, doing a little 'Come on' motion with his hand at the same time he said it out loud.

-For what? - Edwin asked cautiously, clearly not trusting the Cat King. Obviously so. After all he was about to receive a punishment that he had no idea what it was.

-Edwin, just do it - Y/N said, encouraging the teenager with a small smile and a nod of their head.

Finally, the boy agreed, although reluctantly, and stretched out his arm towards the Cat King before pulling it quickly back when a gold bracelet showed up around it.

-What is this? - Edwin asked with suspicion, immediately trying to take it off yet finding himself unable to do so.

-A little piece of jewellery that will keep reminding you of your punishment. All you have to do is count all the cats that reside in Port Townsend. It will also keep you in the town for that time. Until you finish counting of course. Also only the one who put it on can take it off, so I'd recommend hurrying if you want to go back to wherever you came from - the Cat King said, a cheeky smirk on his face as he observed the boy's flabbergasted expression with amusement.

When Edwin started lamenting and protesting that the task was unfair and impossible to do, Thomas explained why he received such a punishment before sending him back to the other two teenagers while Y/N and him stayed back in the bedroom.

Y/N walked over to the Cat King, wrapping their arms around the man's neck and leaning in to press a sweet kiss, thanking him without words while he wrapped his arms around their middle and pulled them close.

-That went well. Next time he pulls something stupid, then you won't be able to save his ass from the harsher punishment though - he said before burying his face in their neck and simply resting there.

-Yeah, yeah, we'll see about that - they said, both of them knowing how different the reality will be if such a thing actually happens. Y/N having so much control over Thomad without trying too much. After all, the Cat King was such a romantic and he hated it.

[onpointedfeetandbrokendreams]

Day 1 - DBDA Week

Day 1 of Dead Boy Detectives Appreciation Week: 10th-16th June by @dbdcentral

Prompt: Things Unsaid

Relationships: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Edwin Payne&Crystal Palace&Charles Rowland

Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Fluff

TW: None

--

“Since this seems to be continuing,” Edwin said while motioning between him and Charles with his free hand. “I think I should tell you about what happened with the Cat King.”

Charles grimaced for a moment, before nodding encouragingly. Even if he appreciated the attempt at understanding silence, Edwin could practically hear the ‘so something did happen!’ in his eyes.

“He, well…” Edwin knew it had been his own conscious decision to start that particular conversation, but now that it was time to actually say the words, he couldn't find them. He exhaled a breath he didn't need. “He did try to get frisky with me.” He went for, remembering the word Charles had used at the time to describe the… ordeal.

“I knew it, that bastard,” Charles was moving to get up from the couch, to do what exactly, Edwin didn't know. It had been almost three years since the events of Port Townsend, it wouldn't make any sense for him to go there and find the Cat King after so long. 

Edwin pulled with his left hand, where his fingers were already loosely entwined with Charles’, effectively stopping him from whatever revenge plan he was concocting.

“Nothing happened,” Edwin continued, his voice soft. “And it was nothing… non-consensual.” The words felt weird on his tongue, even if he knew he was using them correctly in the context, and it was the best way to convey the message without risk of misunderstandings.

Charles swallowed hard. “Does that mean you wanted something to happen?”

“I don’t think I knew what I wanted. It took me by surprise, because I thought those kinds of desires were never to be acknowledged. And seeing him touching me so carelessly, so freely. That was…” This time, Edwin wasn't sure what the right word could be. After some consideration, he ended with “interesting”.

“Hmm.”

Edwin tightened his grip on Charles’ fingers again. “You have nothing to worry about, I have never thought about him in that way since we left Port Townsend, and especially since, well… you know.”

It didn't seem to be enough for Charles, as he was still looking uneasy, insecure. Edwin wouldn't have it. A couple of months prior, he would never have dared to admit that to himself, let alone out loud, but considering how they were sitting across one another on the couch with their legs intertwined and Charles’ hand was caressing his knee with the same familiarity with which he would lean on his own, he felt a surge of boldness he had never thought he had in him and admitted:

“Now all of my fantasies are about you.”

Charles went incredibly still, his eyes lost focus, his hands froze in place.

“Is… something wrong?” Edwin tried to ask. He thought about moving away to give him some space, wondering if maybe he had gone too far with the implication. They had kissed multiple times but they had never talked about anything more physical. He didn’t know what to make of Charles’ reaction.

Before he could decide on a course of action, Crystal slammed the office door open.

She took a long look at the scene in front of her, then her gaze stopped pointedly on Edwin. “What happened? How did you break him?”

“I just said-” Edwin started explaining, but was brutally interrupted by Charles, who had finally found his voice back.

“It's nothing, I just needed a moment. You know, there's another case with an abusive father.” He said, like those words explained everything. 

It had the desired effect, Edwin thought, because Crystal stopped the interrogation immediately, and draped herself over Charles - and consequently over Edwin’s legs, much to his disapproval - to comfort him.

Of course, Charles’ words did explain everything, or they would have, except there was no abusive father, and no case.

Edwin untangled himself from the other two trying not to push Crystal on the ground while doing so, and moved to look out the window.

After a while, when she decided Charles looked comfortable enough, Crystal followed him and sat at his desk. Edwin almost hated to admit to himself that nothing about the situation was bothering him: not Crystal hugging Charles, nor her taking his usual place at the desk. She was that much part of the agency that he trusted her completely, almost the same way he trusted Charles. Even if, of course, the relationships between the three of them had considerably shifted during the years.

It wasn’t until a day later that Charles and Edwin had a chance to be alone again, and Edwin was determined to keep asking questions until he understood exactly what had happened to Charles. He was in “full stubborn research mode”, as Crystal used to call it.

There was no need, though, because Charles started speaking as soon as they passed through the door:

“I’m sorry about… Making up a case yesterday, I was worried you would tell Crystal the truth.” He chuckled.

“I wouldn't have said exactly the same thing I said to you.”

“Yes, you would have.” Charles continued, his smile turning more affectionate. Edwin had to admit that he was probably right. He had just been so confused and maybe Crystal could help him understand.

“Did it upset you?” He asked. “What I said?”

Charles shook his head. “No, of course not, it was just… Unexpected.” He moved closer, encircling Edwin's waist with his arms, so close their noses were brushing against each other.

“Why? You didn't think that I could want-”

Before he could finish the sentence, Charles pressed a small kiss on his lips, effectively shutting it. He stepped away then, looking decidedly lighter than he had the previous day. “No, I just didn't expect you to be able to say it so… what word did you use? Freely.”

Charles grinned, and slumped on the couch, patting the place next to him in invitation. It was so easy to slot into Charles’ arms, resting his head on his shoulder, and entwining their hands. It almost seemed like they had done nothing else for forty years, instead of just a few months.

“What about before the Cat King?” Charles asked when they were settled, Edwin’s fingers playing with the hem of Charles’ sleeve. “Have you ever thought about us… Shagging?”

“No, I would never have dared to even dream of it.”

Charles moved a hand up his arm and to the back of his neck, his fingers playing with the shorter hair at Edwin's nape.

“I don't know if I'm ready for that now,” he said after a while. “But I would like it too, one day.”

Edwin smiled, turning to nuzzle Charles' neck and pressing a kiss there at the base of his jaw. “Whenever you are ready, I will be here. We have literally forever to figure it out.”

[certifiablyinsanez]

🎶 I always thought I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true 🎶

🎶 Cuz I think you’re so good, and I’m nothing like you🎶

🎶Look at you go, I just adore you, I wish that I knew, what makes you think I’m so special🎶

🎶 if I could, begin to do, something that does right by you, I would do about anything🎶

🎶 I would even learn how to love🎶

[dranathedragon]

I’m a D&D nerd, who is currently obsessed with Dead Boy Detectives, so of course the “What class would everyone be?” thought has been tickling me. I’ve seen a few other people post their thoughts on it, and I’ve been reading the amazing “Messrs Payne and Rowland’s Adventuring Agency” by @terresdebrume whenever it updates. Seriously, it’s really good, highly recommend. So I figured I’d throw my hat in the ring and see what anyone else’s thoughts are while I’m at it. Just doing the core four in this post.

So let’s get the easy one out of the way first, Crystal. She’s 100% a sorcerer, her power comes from her bloodline, she was born with it. Because she’s psychic based I’d say she’s specifically an Aberrant Mind sorcerer, without all the deep space tentacle monster baggage. Though she does have disembodied floating eyeballs in her psyche so MAYBE!

Next up is the second easiest, Edwin. He’s a wizard, everyone knows he’s a wizard. What KIND of wizard though? I’m going with Order of Scribes. He loves that little notebook so much, it gained sentience. How awesome would it be, if in this D&D version of the show, Edwin’s notebook didn’t follow him to hell because it was his sentient spell book, and it stayed behind with a purpose? It stayed behind because it KNEW Charles would never leave Edwin there and he would attempt a rescue. It KNEW Charles would go, and it KNEW it had to stay behind to help him. It showed him the things he needed to see, the information and maps that would reunite him with their wizard. I just love that.

Next up is Charles. He was a little tougher. I’ve seen quite a few posts saying that he’s a barbarian, and at this, I must object. At least with the criteria I’m using I suppose. Charles’ power doesn’t come from his rage. The one time we see him using his rage to fight, Edwin’s horrified and worried reaction pretty much confirms this was wildly out of character for him.

Just as an aside, I’m a firm believer of when Edwin said, “That was extreme”, he wasn’t talking about knocking the night nurse off the cliff. He was talking about Charles’ reaction in general, it was an extreme REACTION. He’d never seen Charles act with that much anger, hate, and violence before. He’s not an attacker, he’s a defender. It scared him, but he was scared FOR Charles, not OF him. Our wizard just isn’t great at people’ing. That’s a discussion for a different post though! Back to the topic at hand!

So, if I don’t think he’s a barb, what is he? Well, I’ve got two possible options. One thing that’s said quite a bit in the show, is how charismatic Charles is. And let’s face it, he is. So, using that logic, I’d say he could possibly be a Paladin. Specifically, an Oath of Devotion Paladin. I mean, come on, his power would so come from his extreme devotion to his favorite wizard. That would be a fun one, but there’s my second option which I find slightly more plausible.

It’s shown multiple times in the show, that while Charles claims to be just the brawn, he’s actually very clever and capable of thinking outside the box. Not to mention, he’s all about magic items. Bag of holding, enchanted cricket bat, enchanted jar/paper weight, enchanted lullaby ball, the disguises, the list goes on. So he’s smart and specializes in magic items, that screams Artificer. I’d say he’s a Battle Smith Artificer, some of their specialty spells are based around defending/supporting their allies, and you can’t tell me he wouldn’t find having a little robot pet, sorry STEEL DEFENDER, completely aces. He’d also name it like “Steve” or something and treat it like it was his and Edwin’s child, fight me on that lol. (Jk, don’t fight me I don’t like conflict!) Update: Charles’ lock picking has been mentioned and it just added to this for me as Artificers get expertise in thieves’ tools. How did I forget this?!

So that leaves Niko, who is kind of the wild card. I saw at least one post saying she’d be a bard, but I don’t think that’s accurate. Bards are all about attention (well mostly, I guess whispers would be an exception but she wouldn’t be a whispers anyway) and the whole sprite possession thing seemed to kinda make her uncomfortable with it. Idk, it just doesn’t really fit right to me. On the same thread though, so far in the show, Niko’s only real power is to see the dead. That might be expanded if we get a second season (🤞🏻), but for right now, that’s all she’s got other than being a good friend and excellent reading comprehension skills (which I might revisit this using that last one later). That said, since she got that ability (technically) because of the sprites (more because they almost killed her, but also they’re with her in the igloo so this still might work!) I’d say Niko is a Warlock. Just by the by, I hate that the class is called “Warlock”. That’s a word that came from an old English word meaning “oath breaker or he who breaks their oath”. Warlocks are all about MAKING not BREAKING pacts. Just a weird choice but MOVING ON! Since the sprites seem kind of Fey, I’d say she’d be a Pact of the Archfey. Nothing to do with the pact’s skill set, since we’d have nothing to compare it to, just because they seem fey to me.

So that’s what I’ve got so far. I might think of other characters’ later, like what would Jenny be etc. What do you guys think? I like to hear other people’s opinions on this! It’s fun to bat around!

[queerly-done]

So my opinions on all the Dead Boy Detective/DBDA Characters

All of these are opinions as someone who has watched the show a few times now and also the Doom Patrol episode and I’ll give my opinions on the Doom Patrol versions at the end.

Spoilers for Dead Boy Detectives Show. And Doom Patrol season 3 ep. 3 and that episode alone

Charles Rowland

- Charles is such a sweetheart I love him. He’s always looking out for his friends and literally went to hell for Edwin, and kicked the Night Nurse for him. I just love him so much.

- I felt so bad for him in episode one when he says his dad, “wasn’t the nicest guy,” and in episode three when we see him break being forced to see a father k!ll his family over. I was actually crying with him saying he doesn’t “want to be a bad guy”! It broke me so badly, the abuse he went through and the fear he’ll become like his abusers is a very real thing and to see a character go through that makes the story feel more real, and makes me more sad. He could use some therapy.

- Him being the “brawn” of the team is pretty funny to me but thats most because if you watch the cast interactions you’ll see what I mean.

- All in all, I love him. He is loving, protective, loyal and has golden retriever with attachment issues energy mixed with scary dog privilege but the dog isn’t scary unless provoked.

Edwin Paine/Payne

- Adorable, get him some therapy please! He needs it! Man was so repressed for the first part of this show I thought I’d die before he confessed. But I don’t blame him honestly, his death was traumatic and being called a “Mary Ann” whilst being sacrificed likely would put a bad taste in your mouth about the idea of you being queer in any way shape or form. I am so proud of him good job!

- Honestly he just makes me so happy, and I love how he interacts with everyone and grows!

Crystal Palace

- I love her she is so bad ass and I hope wish the best for her

- She needs better taste in men, my suggestion date women

- I want to see a little more of her Nepo baby side of her past cause clearly that was a thing

Niko Sasaki

- Sweetie! I miss her! She was the only other person other than Charles to get Edwin out of his shell and it hurts me so much to see her be gone. Her death will forever haunt me.

Cat King

- I love him so much, he is my favourite kind of not evil but not good guy the kind that plays a game with people by flirting! Ahhh I love him! I don’t love that he falls for Edwin(I’ll make a separate post on this issue)

- Anywho I still love him he gives off chaotic gender neutral vibes and the song Sex With a Ghost was made for him, I just love him!

Monty the Crow

- Monty I love you but don’t kiss people without consent!

- Honestly he was very important, and sweet he didn’t deserve all the pain he’s been through, may better things come his way.

Jenny the Butcher

- Badass. I love everything about her. Her style, the way she gives advice, yes I just love her so much. I want to see more of her.

- Her episode made me so sad for her ;-;

Esther Finch

- Honestly I love her as a villain she was so evil, and a genuine threat. She is also so hot and scary I just love her.

David the Demon

- A creep I didn’t like him, I don’t know what else you want?

Doom Patrol versions!

Charles Rowland

- He was so funny in this, I loved him. I love how the show conveyed a mutual interest from him to Edwin they are both just too dense to say anything about it. I also love that it seems the only thing he knows about America is that they like baseball.

- They did have to go off and hurt me with the fear of water scene, but he was so sweet protecting Edwin from the Night Nurse(who in this is just 10 times scarier)

Edwin Paine

- Him not getting anything about modern times and brushing off his feelings for Edwin was so well done! I love how he tells Larry he “isn’t like him” saying he isn’t queer and that if he were that would be bad, he says this all in a very rude and brash tone and then proceeds to comfort Charles in the nicest to he is capable of.

- Beautiful 10/10

Crystal Palace

- Boss ass Bitch, girl boss. 8/10 I love her but no real opinions yet that is I may go back one day and edit this for her

I hope you liked this dumb post :3

[asidian]

Alright. It is time. Buckle up.

Why you should be watching Dead Boy Detectives: the targeted-specifically-at my-readers edition.

Meet the leads, our two ghost boys:

Edwin Payne: Fussy, repressed intellectual type from the Edwardian era. Exceedingly gay for his partner and best friend. Tortured in hell for seventy years on a technicality because he was ritually sacrificed as a prank gone wrong. Endearingly awful at people and dealing with emotions or his own wants.

Charles Rowland: Impulsive, people-pleasing wildcard from the 80s. Heart eyes 24/7 at his best friend but has zero self-awareness. Badly abused by his asshole of a father. Beaten to death because he saved a kid from bullies. Endearingly awful at sorting his own emotions or talking about his problems.

Some highlights:

/slaps hood you can fit so much trauma in these two

Both leads get sobbing breakdowns that happen on screen. The actors are incredible at crying

Both leads get much-needed hugs

The absolute devotion between the two of them. The shared history that lives in their dialogue and how they work together like people who have been each other's Most Important Person for literal decades

I mean, I'm talking in-canon Orpheus and Eurydice reference level of devotion here

The protective way Charles puts himself physically between Edwin and damn near every threat in the show

They're just fun together. Their interactions and banter and how they work as a team is a delight

Their shared plot arc literally involves them learning to talk to each other and communicate more so that they can be there for one another about their respective issues

The symbolism. God. They are metaphorically and literally one another's light in the darkness

But what about stuff that isn't the main duo? Just wait, there's more:

This show is unabashedly, unapologetically queer. It's there in the text and the subtext. The whole show lives and breathes it

So many good, complex, well-written female characters. The Bechdel test gets blown straight out of the water in episode one and they never look back. Headstrong amnesiac psychic learning to be a better person! Quirky meta commentary matchmaker! Cynical lesbian butcher! Delightfully sadistic witch! They are all amazing.

[audience voice] But I'm here for the hurt/comfort. How can I whump ghosts? Worry not, my friends. Canon has you covered. Not only are there ways, there are ways that happen on-screen. The hurt/comfort and rescue are also on-screen. Yes, it is amazing

Absolute chaos, really cool supernatural cases and creatures, a surprising amount of humor, charming writing, and a cast that absolutely nails it on the acting and chemistry

There is an extremely suggestive trickster type who is also the king of cats. He's a cat in human form. He hits on Edwin nonstop. Charles gets blisteringly jealous

All of the leads have well-thought-through, fully developed, emotional character arcs. They're all messy and flawed and sometimes lash out in their pain, but at turns can be incredibly supportive and kind and loyal

A character who is a crow who is also a boy, who is tortured by his witch/creator and also is crushing hard on one of the leads

There are so many incredible details in the setting, costume choices, prop decisions, etc. that you only catch after you know what it's laying the groundwork for. The level of care that went into this show is phenomenal

It's only eight episodes. The time investment barrier to entry could not possibly be lower

Anyway, tl;dr, if any of this sounds appealing to you, you should give this show a watch.

Dead Boy Detectives is well worth your time. It's easily my favorite show in years.

[kittynannygaming]

[Dead Boy Detectives] A gift

Title: A gift

Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives

Rating: G

Characters: Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland, Niko Sasaki, Crystal Palace, Tragic Mick, Jenny Green

Pairing: Charles Rowland/Edwin Payne

Niko Sasaki loves her ghostly friends and wants the best for them. So she goes to see Tragic Mick to find a gift for them.

On AO3

“Hello Mick.”

“Niko! Alone today?”

“Yes. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Of course. You have a perfect timing, I was going to take a break.” They walked into Mick’s office and he prepared some hot chocolate.

“There. I hope you’ll like it.” Niko took a sip.

“Ah! I love it. It reminds me of the one my grandmother always did for me when it was rainy and I couldn’t go out.” Mick hummed.

“You wanted to ask something?”

“Yes. I know you do Edwin and Charles’ disguises. Can you do ones that look like themselves but like today’s teens?” She kept drinking her chocolate with little sips.

“Edwin and Charles asked me the same thing and I will give you the answer I gave them. To do a 100% look alike disguise, laws indicates that you need to wait 250 years. They didn’t ask any more questions after that.” Mick seemed disappointed about that. Suddenly, an idea popped-up.

“What if the disguise is not 100%. Could you do, for example, a female version of themselves?” Mick smiled.

“That I can do, darling Niko.” Niko smiled at him. “That I can do.” he whispered just before sipping the last of his drink.

*-*-*-*

It was a sad day for the members of the Dead Boy Detectives Agency.

“Mail!” yelled the mail-man, making the four people in the room jump.

“One day…” warned Charles.

“Mail, and a message from Mick. You need to go and see him before leaving.” The mail-man disappeared.

They grumbled and resumed the task they were doing: packing up Niko’s possessions.

*-*-*-*

“Mick! You wanted to see us?”

“Charles! Indeed. Edwin, Crystal and lady that I don’t know.”

“I’m Jenny. I’m their landlady.”

“You’re a good friend Jenny. She was there when we got your message. We were packing Niko’s stuff to send back to her mother.”

“I’m sorry to hear about Niko. I gave her a little bear figurine. Do you still have it?” Crystal took it out of her pocket. “Keep it. You should also learn more about polar bear. Now! I called you here because Niko came to ask me a favour. Edwin, Charles. You asked me if I could make you a disguise that look like you.”

“I remember, you said you couldn’t.”

“No. I said that I could only do a disguise that looked 100% you after 250 years. Niko find the loophole: I could make a disguise that it’s not 100% you.”

“You can?”

“I have. All I had to do, on Niko’s advice, is to make a disguise that look like you but as a girl.”

“Put it on! I want to see!” exclaimed Crystal.

“These ones are special. They last longer, up to 8 hours, but they take 24 hours to recharge.” Mick gave Charles and Edwin a bracelet. They were the same except for the name on it: Charlotte and Edwina. They put it on and instantly became their female-selves, with today’s clothes.

“You are gorgeous!” Jenny said with enthusiasm. Edwin and Charles couldn’t get their eyes off of each other. Crystal rolled her eyes and waved her hand to Mick and Jenny to leave the lovebirds alone.

“You’re ravishing.” told Edwina to Charlotte, who blushed.

“And you are so beautiful I just want to kiss you.”

“Don’t mock me. I’m probably not that beauteous.”

“You don’t see yourself but it’s ok, we will find a mirror and I’ll show you. And I don’t mock you. I really, really want to kiss you. Can I?” Edwina looked at her and nodded slightly. It was everything Edwin imagined a first kiss with the person he loved most would feel. Even better. “I want to take you on a date.”

“A date?”

“Yes, unless you... don’t want to?” Charlotte was hesitant.

“I want. I want! I just didn’t thought you would want though.”

“I’m going to chaperone you two, just so you know!” yelled Crystal from Mick’s office.

“I wanted to go to see a movie with you and maybe a walk in the park?”

“This would be wonderful, Charlotte.”

They smiled to each other. Even from the other side, Niko got them an amazing gift. She was the best sister Edwin could ask for.

[seiya-starsniper]

Six Degrees of Separation - Ch 3 (Sandman x Dead Boy Detectives)

Relationships: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling, Edwin Paine | Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland, Crystal Palace/Charles Rowland (DCU), Johanna Constantine/Jenny Green Rating: Teen & Up | Status: Incomplete | Chapters 3/5 | Words: 3.5K

Tags: POV Multiple, Hob Gadling gives live advice to a bunch of teenagers, while helping them solve cases, that's it that's the fic, also he maybe plays matchmaker for his hot mess bestie

Summary:

The Dead Boy Detectives run into a familiar pub while out on a case, and Crystal has to contend with an unfortunate event from her past. Hob Gadling wasn't planning on adopting three teenagers and a full grown woman, but stranger things have happened in his long centuries of life.

Tumblr Posts: Chapter 1 || Chapter 2

Read Chapter 3 below, or at the above link on AO3

-------------------

Crystal thinks she's being clever by hiding in a corner of the pub away from where most of the staff can see, but somehow, Hob finds her anyway and places a steaming hot mug of tea down on the table in front of her. 

“On the house,” he tells her, and Crystal frowns.

“I can pay,” Crystal tries to insist, reaching for her bag to pull out her wallet. Hob shakes his head and shoos away the attempt, and Crystal doesn’t have it in her to fight too hard. Not today anyways. 

“Next time then,” he tells her with an easy smile. “If I’m being honest, you look like you could use a pick-me-up right now anyways.”

She really could. Crystal imagines she looks like shit. Her eyes are bloodshot from crying, and her nose feels stuffy from all the times she’s blown it in the past hour. She hasn’t even bothered trying to hide the pile of used napkins on the table.

“You did say Tuesdays were slow,” Crystal manages to croak out, trying to keep her voice even as she takes the tea in front of her into shaking hands. 

“I did,” Hob agrees, and then he sits down in the chair opposite her and starts taking out what looks like a pile of homework from his canvas bag. “I actually have some papers to grade, if you want some company. I’m happy to listen if you want to talk about it. Or we can just sit here in silence, if you’d like.”

She does want to talk about it, but the problem is, Crystal doesn’t know where to start. Doesn’t know how to tell Hob, who is both a complete stranger and not a stranger at the same time, that her life is both the best and worst it’s ever been in a very long time. She doesn’t know how to tell him that it’s Niko’s birthday today, and that the giant shopping bag next to her on top of the table is full of dozens of manga volumes she’ll never read, but felt the need to buy because, well because .

But, true to his word, Hob doesn't press her for more conversation, instead focusing immediately on the pile of paperwork he'd stacked. Crystal watches him smile when a student gets the answer right, and frown when they get an answer wrong. Every once in a while, his face takes on a bewildered expression, and Crystal wonders just how terribly bad the answer he’s looking at is.

Crystal wonders if Niko would have been in school now if she hadn't died. She seemed happy to simply solve cases with Crystal and the boys once they’d gotten the parasite out of her, but how long would that have lasted? Did Niko want to go to university? Would she have come to London if Crystal asked her to?

“I walked by a bookshop the other day,” Crystal finally offers, unable to keep the raging storm of emotion to herself any longer. Hob looks up from his paper and puts his pen down. She has his full attention now.

“They had a new volume of a manga out on display,” Crystal continues, glancing over at the shopping bag from that exact same store. “I thought, ‘Oh I should tell Niko, she'll be so excited there’s a new volume out!’ But then I remembered Niko’s not here. Niko's not here because she died trying to save me.”

“Ah,” Hob sighs sympathetically. “You're feeling guilty you're alive and she's not.”

It shouldn’t hurt so much to hear it spoken out loud, but Crystal's tears begin anew. She drops her gaze down to the steaming mug of hot tea and blinks them away as best she can, knowing that the hitch in her breathing gives her away anyways. 

“Survivor's guilt is a bitch,” Crystal says, and just like that, the dam of emotions she’d been holding back finally breaks. “I didn't even get to say goodbye ,” she practically wails into her mug. “We get to say goodbye to all these other strangers, to watch them go into their afterlife and I didn't even get to say goodbye to Niko. I hate it.”

It feels good, to finally get it out there in the open. To put words to her heartache, to the giant, endless maw of raw emotion and guilt. Crystal had tried to vocalize how she’d felt to Charles and Edwin, but they were too used to death, to people moving on. It wasn’t that they didn’t care, but they didn’t know what felt like to be left behind, not really. Not when it was all but guaranteed that they’d always have each other. 

“Life's unfair like that, sometimes,” Hob tells her, and the tone of his voice tells Crystal that the immortal is full of unsaid goodbyes himself. “I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance, truly.”

“You would've liked her,” Crystal replies, wanting to move away from the subject before she has another breakdown. The staff at the bookshop had definitely thought she’d gone through a bad breakup when she was paying for everything. Crystal looks back up at Hob and gives him a wry smile. “Probably way more than you liked me. She wouldn't have tried to burn the place down.”

Hob snorts. “I like you just fine as you are now, kid,” he says, returning her smile with one of his own. “Just no more arson attempts and we're good, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Crystal agrees. “Can’t guarantee a different ghost won’t try though.”

“They’re welcome to try,” Hob says, then gestures around the room. “But you’ve seen my wards. Been building them up here for almost twenty years now, not much is getting in or out of here without my permission.”

“How did you end up owning this place anyways?” Crystal asks, curiosity now burning a hole in her. “Charles and Edwin said the other night that when they first met you and were a traveling merchant or something.”

“Ah,” Hob replies, and his expression turns soft and fond. “I have this…friend, and we used to meet once a century at the old White Horse tavern down the road. For drinks. When they shut the place down, I bought this place, so we could still have someone where to go.”

Crystal narrows her eyes at the way Hob says friend and drinks .

“Is that a euphemism?” Crystal asks, and Hob chokes on his tea. “You know it’s 2024 right?” she continues. “Being gay isn’t ille—oh god, ” she cuts herself off, realization dawning upon her. “Are you in a centuries-long situationship? ” 

Hob goes into a full-on coughing fit now, but still manages to vigorously shake his head at the accusation.

“No I—cough—we’re just—cough—friends!” he insists, but Crystal isn’t convinced. 

“What do you even talk about?” she presses. “And who the hell only meets once a century for just drinks? ” she adds, putting the words in air quotes. 

“It’s complicated,” Hob replies, seeming to finally get his breathing under control. “Mostly just this and that,” the man adds, waving his hands around to emphasize the vagueness of their meetings. “You know, current events.”

“Current. Events.” Crystal repeats incredulously. Right. Yeah. Definitely a situationship. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

“You know what, next time he comes in, I’ll introduce you,” Hob huffs indignantly. His face is bright red too, and Crystal just knows that isn’t all from the loss of air to his windpipe just moments ago. “And then you can see we are just friends .”

He looks so serious, so intent on proving Crystal wrong, while still so desperately pining , that she can’t help but burst into laughter. It feels like a cord unwinds in her chest when she does, loosening a pressure she’d forgotten was there. 

“Yeah okay, sure, I’d love to meet you ‘friend’,” she replies, putting the word friend in air quotes. “But for like, actual drinks, and not ‘drinks’”, she adds with an exaggerated wink. Hob grumbles something about ‘kids these days’ which makes her laugh even more. 

----------------------------------

When Crystal leaves The New Inn hours later, her heart and belly both full, she curls up with her gigantic pile of manga and reads while waiting for Edwin and Charles to get back from their latest case. Since their investigation took them to a condemned building that was quite literally falling apart and structurally unsound, Crystal had been ordered to stay home, and wait for Charles and Edwin to bring the evidence back to her. 

When they do eventually make their way back, it’s with Jenny in tow, and she’s holding a giant cake box in her arms. Crystal smiles through the mist in her eyes, when she opens the box and sees ‘Happy Birthday Niko’ in bright red letters. 

“You remembered too, huh?” Crystal hiccups.

“Stop it, I don’t want to cry too,” Jenny replies, her voice also wavering. Her hands are shaking when she places the cake box down on the table. It’s way too much cake for two people to eat, since Edwin and Charles don’t partake, and Crystal thinks she’s going to be eating leftover cake for the next week at least. Jenny handles the cutting of the cake, and when the two of them each have a slice in hand, Edwin clears his throat, directing their attention to him.

“Right then. A celebration of Niko is not complete without Scooby-Doo,” he declares, and though his tone is light and teasing, Crystal can hear the emotional weight behind it too. 

“Right,” Crystal agrees, and when Charles wraps his arm around her, she gives up all pretense of not wanting to cry, and sobs openly into his shoulder. “I’ll get the TV set up. Just—give me a minute.”

Crystal falls asleep to the sound of cartoon feet running away from the latest villain of the week, and in the moments just before her mind is claimed by the Dreaming, she swears she catches the scent of poppies and dandelions.