#barisi confessions

[ratdoeswriting]

it wasnt peaceful but it was enough

Summary:  Technically, they weren't dating. Neither Sonny nor Rafael had ever tried to raise the issue of labelling their friends-with-benefits-who-also-go-on-unofficial-dates-at-least-once-a-week situation. Actually, Sonny had mentioned it once, a few months after it all started, when he thought Barba was asleep and neither of them mentioned it the next morning.

Pairing: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.

Warning: none!! just some hurt/comfort, fluff and slight spoilers for the end of s17 and beginning of s18

Word count: 1.2K

A/N: this may be a little ooc but idc barba is Tender sometimes!! also this is crossposted on AO3 and my main blog under the same title :)

~~~

Technically, they weren't dating. Neither Sonny nor Rafael had ever tried to raise the issue of labelling their friends-with-benefits-who-also-go-on-unofficial-dates-at-least-once-a-week situation. Actually, Sonny had mentioned it once, a few months after it all started, when he thought Barba was asleep and neither of them mentioned it the next morning.

Barba was starting to think that maybe they should define it, or at least acknowledge what it really was, acknowledge that Sonny spent more time at Rafael’s than at his own place and had his clothes in Rafael's wardrobe and was the only one, besides his abuelita, who could snap him out of his foul moods.

If he thought about it, he would guess that it was after the death threats started that Sonny became a part of his future, more than just a not-quite friend. When Sonny found out about the threats, from before and after Munson’s trial, he became even more protective than he was before - which was actually kind of impressive. He started coming over after work to cook for the both of them, he’d text him on his break to make sure he was okay - it also gave him an excuse to stay the night, not that he really needed one, not anymore.

It was late, after nine, and Rafael's office light was off. It must have been Carmen - saving electricity and all that - but he had only been gone twenty minutes to get a coffee, so she could have left it on. Sonny always turns the switches off too.

He pushed the door open, then closed it with his hip, juggling his coffee and a handful of papers as he tried to flick the light switch before dumping it all rather unceremoniously on his desk. Somewhere underneath all of this shit was a bottle of painkillers, but he didn’t want to risk shifting any of the stacks of paper in case they fell. Perhaps, if criminals had to do this paperwork instead of us, the crime rates might drop, he thought idly.

"Christ!" He exclaimed. He’d been sitting at his desk for nearly ten minutes before looking up and doing a double take, "Detective, why are you sitting in my office in the dark?"

Sonny barely seemed to acknowledge Rafael was there, let alone that he had spoken, just shifted his vacant gaze from the window in front of the sofa to the shelves behind Rafael.

"Carisi, what's the matter - has something happened?" Rafael asked, concern creeping into his voice and urgency into his actions as he rounded his desk, coming to sit next to Sonny on the sofa. For a while they just sat, the only sound was their breathing but there was an almost violently anxious atmosphere radiating from Sonny.

"Did Lieu tell you what happened today?" Carisi said eventually, voice barely above a whisper.

"She said that Cole was aiming at you when she came in so she took the shot - was there something else? Are you hurt?!" The panic in his voice was palpable and his hands flittered uselessly around Sonny before he looked straight at Barba.

"He-" Sonny took a deep shuddering breath, only letting it go when Rafael tentatively twined their fingers together, "The gun was on- He was aiming at my head." Sonny's voice cracked as he pressed the heel of his free hand to his forehead.

It took Rafael a moment to put it together and his mind helpfully supplied him with the image of Sonny with the barrel of a gun pushed firmly… then, "Oh. Oh, Sonny, I'm sorry."

Rafael gently tipped Sonny's chin up because… yes, there was still dried blood on his neck and under his collar. Sonny must have been covered - the thought made Rafael blanch. Sonny whimpered a stunted, broken noise in the back of his throat when Barba stood, but he relaxed minutely when Rafael dropped a gentle kiss onto his head. Barba went to his desk and pulled a packet of wet wipes out of the second drawer. He never used to keep them in his office, but the second draw had become what one imagines a mother's handbag looks like - something for every possible situation - and all because Jesse had thrown food over his desk the previous month.

The moment wasn’t quite peaceful - Sonny was crying, he had tears streaming down his face and his body jolted as if electrocuted with each new wave; Rafael didn’t move from his place on his knees in front of Sonny, cleaning Sergeant Cole’s sins from the delicate lines of his neck. No, it wasn’t peaceful, but it was enough; Sonny felt safe, surrounded by Rafael’s soothing voice, soothing hands, he felt at home.

Sonny was the one to break the silence, "I thought I was going to die, Rafi. It was so cold and, jesus, it just - my whole body I just froze." He reached up to cover Rafael's hands with his own, holding firmly, grounding him, physically stopping him from going back to that house.

"I should have been paying attention. I should have cleared that house properly. If I hadn't been distracted I could have-" Sonny's hands wound tightly into his hair and his breathing hitched and faltered.

"Hey, hey, none of that. You did good, sunshine, you did good, and you’re here and you’re safe, okay?” Rafael brushed his thumbs over Sonny's cheekbones to wipe some of the tears away, however, more fell in their place as Sonny tried to speak again but choked on a sob.

“Hush, Sonny, it’s okay, you don’t -” He stopped abruptly when Sonny placed his hand over his mouth and pulled him up onto the sofa beside him.

“No, I need to say this, Rafi, please.” Sonny was silent for a few seconds as he tried to organise his thoughts.

“Sonny, we talk about this later if you like?”

Sonny shook his head, “I thought I was going to die today. I thought that they would be scraping me off the floor and I didn’t think of my family - well, I did - but mainly I thought of you. I don’t know if you want to hear this but I need to say it - all I could think about was you and how you like to cuddle, even if you deny it, how you snack when you’re thinking, how-” Sonny laughed shakily, “you colour coordinate your socks and underwear.”

Rafael laughed a little too, wiping the fresh tears from Sonny’s face.

“And, I realised that I was going to die before I could tell you… before I could tell you that I love you, Rafael. I love your passion and your snark and - and I love waking up next to you and -”

“Sonny?” Rafael said calmly.

“Jesus. I’m sorry. I understand, if you don’t feel the same. We can stop this and, and I’ll-” Sonny’s voice faltered and he stood, hands tugging at his hair again.

“Sonny, look at me?” Rafael stood, placing his hands on Sonny’s hips and pulling him closer. “You know me, no nonsense. If I didn't feel something for you, Sonny, something meaningful, I would have ended this months ago.”

Sonny looked a little less panicked now; his breathing was still ragged, his hands still shaking, but he managed a weak smile and wrapped his arms around Rafael’s shoulders.

“Is that your way of saying you feel the same?”

“Yes,” Rafael said, standing on his tip-toes to kiss Sonny’s forehead, “I love you, Sonny. Now, let’s go home.”

[ratisnotcrying]

it wasn’t peaceful, but it was enough

Summary:  Technically, they weren't dating. Neither Sonny nor Rafael had ever tried to raise the issue of labelling their friends-with-benefits-who-also-go-on-unofficial-dates-at-least-once-a-week situation. Actually, Sonny had mentioned it once, a few months after it all started, when he thought Barba was asleep and neither of them mentioned it the next morning.

Pairing: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.

Warning: none!! just some hurt/comfort, fluff and slight spoilers for the end of s17 and beginning of s18

Word count: 1.2K

A/N: this may be a little ooc but idc barba is Tender sometimes!! also this is crossposted on AO3 under the same title :)

~~~

Technically, they weren't dating. Neither Sonny nor Rafael had ever tried to raise the issue of labelling their friends-with-benefits-who-also-go-on-unofficial-dates-at-least-once-a-week situation. Actually, Sonny had mentioned it once, a few months after it all started, when he thought Barba was asleep and neither of them mentioned it the next morning.

Barba was starting to think that maybe they should define it, or at least acknowledge what it really was, acknowledge that Sonny spent more time at Rafael’s than at his own place and had his clothes in Rafael's wardrobe and was the only one, besides his abuelita, who could snap him out of his foul moods.

If he thought about it, he would guess that it was after the death threats started that Sonny became a part of his future, more than just a not-quite friend. When Sonny found out about the threats, from before and after Munson’s trial, he became even more protective than he was before - which was actually kind of impressive. He started coming over after work to cook for the both of them, he’d text him on his break to make sure he was okay - it also gave him an excuse to stay the night, not that he really needed one, not anymore.

It was late, after nine, and Rafael's office light was off. It must have been Carmen - saving electricity and all that - but he had only been gone twenty minutes to get a coffee, so she could have left it on. Sonny always turns the switches off too.

He pushed the door open, then closed it with his hip, juggling his coffee and a handful of papers as he tried to flick the light switch before dumping it all rather unceremoniously on his desk. Somewhere underneath all of this shit was a bottle of painkillers, but he didn’t want to risk shifting any of the stacks of paper in case they fell. Perhaps, if criminals had to do this paperwork instead of us, the crime rates might drop, he thought idly.

"Christ!" He exclaimed. He’d been sitting at his desk for nearly ten minutes before looking up and doing a double take, "Detective, why are you sitting in my office in the dark?"

Sonny barely seemed to acknowledge Rafael was there, let alone that he had spoken, just shifted his vacant gaze from the window in front of the sofa to the shelves behind Rafael.

"Carisi, what's the matter - has something happened?" Rafael asked, concern creeping into his voice and urgency into his actions as he rounded his desk, coming to sit next to Sonny on the sofa. For a while they just sat, the only sound was their breathing but there was an almost violently anxious atmosphere radiating from Sonny.

"Did Lieu tell you what happened today?" Carisi said eventually, voice barely above a whisper.

"She said that Cole was aiming at you when she came in so she took the shot - was there something else? Are you hurt?!" The panic in his voice was palpable and his hands flittered uselessly around Sonny before he looked straight at Barba.

"He-" Sonny took a deep shuddering breath, only letting it go when Rafael tentatively twined their fingers together, "The gun was on- He was aiming at my head." Sonny's voice cracked as he pressed the heel of his free hand to his forehead.

It took Rafael a moment to put it together and his mind helpfully supplied him with the image of Sonny with the barrel of a gun pushed firmly… then, "Oh. Oh, Sonny, I'm sorry."

Rafael gently tipped Sonny's chin up because… yes, there was still dried blood on his neck and under his collar. Sonny must have been covered - the thought made Rafael blanch. Sonny whimpered a stunted, broken noise in the back of his throat when Barba stood, but he relaxed minutely when Rafael dropped a gentle kiss onto his head. Barba went to his desk and pulled a packet of wet wipes out of the second drawer. He never used to keep them in his office, but the second draw had become what one imagines a mother's handbag looks like - something for every possible situation - and all because Jesse had thrown food over his desk the previous month.

The moment wasn’t quite peaceful - Sonny was crying, he had tears streaming down his face and his body jolted as if electrocuted with each new wave; Rafael didn’t move from his place on his knees in front of Sonny, cleaning Sergeant Cole’s sins from the delicate lines of his neck. No, it wasn’t peaceful, but it was enough; Sonny felt safe, surrounded by Rafael’s soothing voice, soothing hands, he felt at home.

Sonny was the one to break the silence, "I thought I was going to die, Rafi. It was so cold and, jesus, it just - my whole body I just froze." He reached up to cover Rafael's hands with his own, holding firmly, grounding him, physically stopping him from going back to that house.

"I should have been paying attention. I should have cleared that house properly. If I hadn't been distracted I could have-" Sonny's hands wound tightly into his hair and his breathing hitched and faltered.

"Hey, hey, none of that. You did good, sunshine, you did good, and you’re here and you’re safe, okay?” Rafael brushed his thumbs over Sonny's cheekbones to wipe some of the tears away, however, more fell in their place as Sonny tried to speak again but choked on a sob.

“Hush, Sonny, it’s okay, you don’t -” He stopped abruptly when Sonny placed his hand over his mouth and pulled him up onto the sofa beside him.

“No, I need to say this, Rafi, please.” Sonny was silent for a few seconds as he tried to organise his thoughts.

“Sonny, we talk about this later if you like?”

Sonny shook his head, “I thought I was going to die today. I thought that they would be scraping me off the floor and I didn’t think of my family - well, I did - but mainly I thought of you. I don’t know if you want to hear this but I need to say it - all I could think about was you and how you like to cuddle, even if you deny it, how you snack when you’re thinking, how-” Sonny laughed shakily, “you colour coordinate your socks and underwear.”

Rafael laughed a little too, wiping the fresh tears from Sonny’s face.

“And, I realised that I was going to die before I could tell you… before I could tell you that I love you, Rafael. I love your passion and your snark and - and I love waking up next to you and -”

“Sonny?” Rafael said calmly.

“Jesus. I’m sorry. I understand, if you don’t feel the same. We can stop this and, and I’ll-” Sonny’s voice faltered and he stood, hands tugging at his hair again.

“Sonny, look at me?” Rafael stood, placing his hands on Sonny’s hips and pulling him closer. “You know me, no nonsense. If I didn't feel something for you, Sonny, something meaningful, I would have ended this months ago.”

Sonny looked a little less panicked now; his breathing was still ragged, his hands still shaking, but he managed a weak smile and wrapped his arms around Rafael’s shoulders.

“Is that your way of saying you feel the same?”

“Yes,” Rafael said, standing on his tip-toes to kiss Sonny’s forehead, “I love you, Sonny. Now, let’s go home.”

[mimisempai]

I can read you like an open book

"Sonny you will stop fidgeting like that, if you have something you want to say say it now!"

Rafael put his hand on Sonny's knee to calm his twitching.

"But I have nothing to say, I just have too much energy!"

"Sonny, I can read you like an open book..."

"If that's the case, why does everyone say I'm good undercover?"

"I didn't say that others can read you like an open book, I only spoke for me ..."

"So you're suggesting that I can't hide anything from you?"

"Lie to me then..."

"I don't love you."

"I love you too."

[barbaesparza]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Law & Order: SVU Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Words: 2186 Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr. Characters: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba Additional Tags: Mini 5+1, 5+1, Fluff, Love Confessions, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Mild Smut Suggestion, Grocery Shopping, Awkward Rafael, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Sugary Syrupy Sweetness, Early Relationship

Summary:

“I…” Rafael pauses for far too long, staring into Sonny’s eyes. He takes a breath, his own eyes widening before flicking off to the side distractedly. “I like the color of your walls,” he says in a rush, stepping away suddenly as if to study them. “Yes. I’ve never quite seen that shade of off-white before.”

“Uh.” Sonny narrows his eyes in confusion. “Thanks. It’s called Honey Milk, if I recall correctly.”

“Honey milk,” Rafael repeats in a whisper. “Well, I’ll certainly have to tell my mother about that one.”

Sonny frowns, thinking that Rafael may have gone slightly loopy from sleep deprivation. He knew they shouldn’t have gone for round two last night. Still, both of them seemed to consider it worth it, even now as Rafael is standing in Sonny’s kitchen pointing out perfectly normal paint colors.

For @me-ladie​, beta-ed by @mforpaul​. Thanks!

[lilbabychilton]

On his rare day off, Rafael Barba loves wearing face masks while he binge watches Netflix (guilty pleasure, One Day at a Time), and eats salt and vinegar potato chips (which proves to be a challenge due to the face mask)

yes yeS yES YES

Sonny found out, teased him about it and then joined him and loved it. It’s become a tradition of theirs

[navalcriminalimagines]

Rafael Barba

🔥= Smut

Drunk in love 🔥

High hopes 🔥

Birthday girl (Rafael/Nick/Mike/Sonny x Reader) 🔥

Barisi

My wife's a federal agent

Prisoner of the day

Lock Screen

Coffee flirt

New Year’s confession

Gold medalist

Backup (Rafael x Reader, Sonny x Reader)

from NYC to DC (Rafael x Reader, Gibbs x Reader) 🔥(slight)

The first meeting (Rafael x Reader + dad!Gibbs)

Missed shot

Part 1,

Part 2 (TBC)

Comfort Zone (Rafael x Reader, Sonny x Reader)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Baker:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Social skills 

Playing Legos with their daughters

[butihavejoy]

Barba/Carisi "I love you meme". 16, 26, or 31 whichever you prefer.

16. Over and over again, til it’s nothing but a senseless babble (only because I already have requests for the other 2)

Late one night, Carisi rested his head on Barba’s chest and told him, voice slightly muffled, “I love you.”

Barba’s hand stilled in Carisi’s hair for just a moment, just long enough for Carisi to twist slightly in a mostly vain effort to look up at him, to see if something was wrong. But instead of answering, Barba leaned down and kissed Carisi, the kiss soft and sweet and perfect.

And no substitute for the three words that Carisi wanted to hear most of all.

In the roughly six months since they had been doing this, this thing that had started as casual and grown into something more erring on the side of permanent, Carisi had told Barba that he loved him eighteen times. Not that he was keeping count, or anything — he could just remember every instance perfectly because each had been a wasted opportunity where Barba had not responded in kind.

The first time had been on a Tuesday, early in the morning, not even a week after Barba had suggested that they stop pretending that they weren’t going to wind up going home together. Carisi had been rushing around Barba’s bedroom, trying to find where he had flung his tie the night before, having gotten called in early for a case, while Barba’s heavy breathing indicated he had fallen back asleep after Carisi’s phone woke him up.

Carisi had found his tie, had tied what he later realized was a particularly lopsided half-Windsor, and had bent to kiss Barba’s forehead. “I love you,” he whispered, assuming that Barba was asleep and couldn’t hear him.

Instead, his green eyes fluttered open and Carisi blushed, grateful for the dim light, which hid the worst of his embarrassment. “Good morning to you, too,” Barba had said with a tiny, tired smirk, and kissed Carisi before yawning and telling him, “Have fun at work.”

And Carisi had left for work mostly relieved that Barba hadn’t made a big deal of it.

But Carisi had also been slightly emboldened by Barba’s lack of freak out over him saying those three words, and while he wasn’t going to pepper every conversation with them, he took as tacit permission to say it when the situation merited it.

Sometimes they were big moments — when he was almost shot by Tom Cole, for instance, when Carisi had gone straight from the precinct to Barba’s office, needing to feel someone warm and solid and alive in his arms just to forget the horrible moment where he had almost lost everything. He had gone with the intention of holding onto Barba and never letting go, but it was Barba who ended up holding him, nestled onto the couch in Barba’s office, his strong, solid arms wrapped firmly around Carisi, holding him so tightly that Carisi might’ve made a joke about it in any other situation.

He hadn’t, far too preoccupied with the hammer of the heartbeat in his chest, with Barba’s hand tracing the side of his face that had been flecked with Tom Cole’s blood, with the frantic, pained look in Barba’s eyes as he too confronted the idea that he might’ve lost Carisi.

“I love you,” Carisi had whispered, shaking like a leaf, grateful beyond belief that he had gotten the opportunity to say it again, terrified beyond belief that he had almost lost that chance.

And Barba had just held him even tighter.

Other times, Carisi said it at small moments, just because he could: on one of their very rare nights off, when Barba would take him out to a nice dinner; pressing Barba against his apartment door, unable to keep his hands off of him for a second more; and once during a court recess, so quietly that Barba could barely hear him, just because a judge kept throwing out key evidence and with Barba’s case crumbling in front of their very eyes, he thought Barba needed to be reminded of it.

And Barba had managed a small smile, which was honestly as much as Carisi could’ve hoped for.

But it had been six months now, and not once had Barba told him that he loved him. They had signed the proper disclosure forms, everyone who needed to knew about them, and still Barba withheld those three words.

Carisi was tired of waiting for him to say them.

So he broke off from the kiss and propped himself up on his elbow, frowning down at Barba. “Why won’t you say it?” he asked.

Barba blinked, confusion furrowing his brow. “Why won’t I say what?” he asked.

“That you love me.”

Barba’s brow furrowed even more. “What do you mean?”

Carisi scowled, assuming that Barba was being deliberately obtuse. “I mean, it’s been six months now, and you still haven’t told me that you love me.”

Barba looked taken aback for a moment before he schooled his expression into something more neutral. “I’ve told you that I love you, I know I have.”

“No, you haven’t,” Carisi said, as patiently as could, all things considered. “I tell you all the time — well, maybe not all the time, but you know what I mean. And every time I tell you, you change the subject, or you kiss me, or whatever. And I wanna hear you say it.”

Barba rolled his eyes. “Of course I love you,” he scoffed, but Carisi’s scowl deepened.

“Don’t say it like that,” he snapped. “I wanna hear you say it for real.”

Barba rolled his eyes again but his expression softened when he looked at Carisi. He reached out to tug Carisi over until he was straddling Barba, and Barba rested his hands on Carisi’s hips. “I love you,” he repeated, before pulling Carisi down and kissing his lips gently. “I love you,” he said again, pressing a kiss to first one corner of Carisi’s mouth, then the other, and Carisi couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I love you.”

A kiss on Carisi’s cheek.

“I love you.”

Barba’s lips moved down to kiss along Carisi’s jaw, each ‘I love you’ more breathless than the next, the words melting into each kiss, each scrape of Barba’s teeth against Carisi’s skin.

“I love you.”

Barba sucked almost languidly on Carisi’s earlobe, smirking when Carisi shivered. “I love you,” he said, his lips moving against Carisi’s ear with the simple declaration.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you—”

He might’ve continued into infinity, tracing his fingers up Carisi’s sides, the soft murmur of each ‘I love you’ blurring together until the words that Carisi had so longed to hear became almost senseless in their repetition.

And the last thing Carisi wanted was for those words to lose their meaning.

So he captured Barba’s lips with his own, cutting off the litany of ‘I love you’s the only effective way he knew how. “You know, I only needed to hear you say it once,” he told Barba when they broke apart, but he couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face as he looked down at the man who loved him.

Barba smirked. “Does that mean I never have to say it again?” he asked, his smirk disappearing into a scowl when Carisi jabbed him in the stomach in retaliation. “You know, a simple ‘no’ would’ve sufficed.”

“Shut up,” Carisi said, kissing him again. “You know you love me.”

Barba’s expression softened. “I do,” he confirmed, resting his hands on Carisi’s hips. “And now you know I do, too.”

[plaidbooks]

Headcanons

** denotes nsfw

(Any label of The Bois = Mike, Sonny, Nick, and Rafael)

These are in order from newest -> oldest

Telling Rafael he’s Going to be a Father (Rafael x gn!reader)

Sneaky Sex (Mike x gn!reader)**

Arguing and Confessing (The Bois x gn!reader)

Only One Bed (The Bois x gn!reader)

Office Sex (Rafael x gn!reader)**

“I have a Partner” w/ drunk!Rafael (Rafael x gn!reader)

“Give me Attention” (Rafael x gn!reader)

The Perfect Girl (The Bois. not reader insert)

Sonny Dating Nick’s Cousin (Sonny x gn!reader)

Secret Blowjob (Rafael x f!reader)**

Comforting Reader (Sonny x gn!reader)

Blushing/Flustered (Rafael x gn!reader)

Lipstick (Rafael x gn!reader)

Almost Breaking Up (Rafael x gn!reader)

Are you Blushing? (Sonny x f!reader)

Nick Unable to Keep his Hands off You (Nick x f!reader)

Dealing with an Insecure Partner (Sonny x gn!reader)

Rafael Being Sweet (Rafael x gn!reader)

Being Dedicated to Rafael (Rafael x gn!reader)

Insomnia (Mike/Sonny/Rafael x gn!reader)

Safeword (Rafael x f!reader)**

Smut prompt #45 (Mike x f!reader)**

Degradation (The Bois x gn!reader)**

Sweet Tooth (Sonny)

Marshmallows in Hot Chocolate (Mike x gn!reader)

Body Worshipping (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Cockwarming to Sleep (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Protecting Rafael (Rafael x gn!reader)

Betta Fish (Rafael)

Mario Kart (The Bois - not reader insert)

Barbie Nutcracker (The Bois - not reader insert)

How To Drive (Rafael x gn!reader)

Bath and Body Works (The Bois x gn!reader)

BDE (The Bois - not reader insert)**

Personal Trainer (Sonny x gn!reader)**

UC at a Bar (Sonny/Mike x f!reader)**

Bailiff and Judge (Rafael x f!reader)**

Judge/Defense!Barba (Rafael x gn!reader)**

In the Bedroom (The Bois x gn!reader)**

Dress Blues (Sonny x gn!reader x Mike)**

No Kids (Sonny x gn!reader)

Enter You (Barisi x gn!reader)**

Giving Birth (Sonny/Mike x afab!reader)

Breeding Kink (Sonny/Mike x afab!reader)**

Taking care of the Wounded (The Bois x gn!reader)

Oral - Giving and Receiving (Nick x gn!reader)**

News of Becoming a Father (Mike x afab!reader)

Punishment (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Verbal Teasing (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Barisi Oral (Rafael x gn!reader x Sonny)**

Barisi Handcuffs (Barisi x gn!reader)**

Visible Marks (Rafael x gn!reader)

Personal Porn Video (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Making Out (Rafael x gn!reader)

Pounding Into You (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Control with a Vibrator (Rafael x f!reader)**

Raf punishing Reader and Sonny (Barisi x gn!reader)**

Edging (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Possessive/Jealous (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Dirtiest HC (Mike/Sonny x gn!reader)**

Aftercare + Safe Word (Rafael/Sonny x gn!reader)

What Sonny Wants (Sonny x gn!reader)**

Dirtiest HC (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Mike’s Kinks (Mike - not reader insert)**

Barisi Teaching Each Other (Sonny/Rafael x gn!reader)**

Day Drunk (The Bois x gn!reader)**

ASL (Mike x gn!reader)

Games (Sonny/Rafael - not reader insert)

Instagram (Rafael x f!reader)

Overstimulation (Rafael x gn!reader)**

High Sex Drive/Kinks (Sonny x gn!reader)**

Fiery in the Court (Nick x gn!reader)**

Keeping Quiet in the Office (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Overstimulation (Sonny x f!reader)**

Rough Sex + Overstim (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Edging (Sonny x gn!reader)**

Jealous (Sonny x gn!reader)

Adopting a Puppy (Rafael x f!reader)

Using Reader for Pleasure (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Thigh Riding (Nick x gn!reader)**

Thigh Riding (Rafael/Sonny x gn!reader)**

Orgasm Denial (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Differences in the Bedroom (Rafael/Sonny - not reader insert)**

Sex with FTM (Rafael x trans man!reader)**

Full Bush (Rafael x f!reader)**

Race to Pregnancy (Barisi x afab!reader)**

Frump Girl (Rafael x f!reader)

Good Cook (Rafael x gn!reader)

Wrong Name in Bed (Sonny x gn!reader)**

Jealousy/Insecurity (Rafael x gn!reader)**

UC Outfit (Rafael x afab!reader)**

Dom/Sub/Switch (all main SVU characters - not reader insert)

Dating Outside the Life (Sonny x gn!reader)

Lingerie (Rafael x gn!reader)**

Freckles/Scars/Tattoos (Sonny x gn!reader)

Raf or Sonny as the Father (Rafael/Sonny x afab!reader)

Bullied Child (Sonny - not reader insert)

Giving Head (Nick x gn!reader)**

UC Strip Club (Rafael x f!reader)**

Favorite Outfits (Sonny/Mike x gn!reader)**

[jeonghanscheekboness]

A Barisi Fanfic idea

Carisi has to work on Christmas cause he’s the newbie and he’s in his office, the building is empty. It’s late at night. He’s deep in his paperwork when he hears a knock at his open door. He jumps, then realizes it’s Barba and sighs.

Raf (knowing that Carisi is particularly sad that he can’t be with his family on Christmas) brings a little present and sets it on his desk. He invites him out for drinks.

Carisi is all “you don’t have to” and Barba is like “I want to. I wouldn’t want you spending Christmas alone.”

They go to the bar and get drinks, Carisi regales a tale of when he was young and went to Midnight mass with his family and there was a blackout. The church was full of candles, it was beautiful. They have a moment and ~almost~ kiss.

Barba offers to walk Sonny back to his apartment. They talk, maybe even hold hands? They get to his apartment, and they’re standing in the doorway with Rafael about to go. Rafael is like “Wait, I forgot this!” And pulls a tiny box out of his pocket. It says “To: Sonny (with a sunshine drawn on it)

Sonny opens it and it’s a tie, just like Rafa’s. One that Somny had complimented Rafa on and asked where he bought it once. He gets a lil misty eyes and thanks Rafa, hugging him. Rafael says goodnight and is about to leave but then Sonny stops him and decides to confess his feelings and then they ❤️💕💜💗kiss💕💜❤️💗 And then sonny invites Rafa in for a nightcap and the end

[angelicdestieldemon]

Love Me Again

SHIP: Barisi

Request: Rafael returning to SVU and fixing his relationship with Sonny

Seeing him again is a shock to the system. When Rafael Barba left behind SVU, he only said goodbye to Olivia. Sonny tried not to take it to heart but it hurt, to think that all the time they had spent getting to know each other, the hours they spent in his office working side-by-side meant nothing to the man.

Seeing him now though, with a beard and his hair riddled with grey, Sonny can’t help but acknowledge that Rafael looks as good as he remembered. Better even, without the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Counselor.”

“Barba.”

Having Rafael in his office feels strange, Sonny always used to visit him, sit on his desk. They would discuss the case, Rafael would be sarcastic at every opportunity, and then after a few hours, they’d move to the couch. Rafael would ask about his classes, how he’s managing with studying and working full time. After he passed the bar, those precious moments would be about their personal lives. Give Rafael enough scotch and he'd open up about things even Liv might not know about her best friend.

Then he was gone without a trace, no text, no call, nothing.

They talk about the trial, going up against a man he used to lo- care so much for will be hard. Sonny wants to drop the charges, but the DA’s office won’t let him, even he doesn’t think the guy is guilty but if he does any less than his best, he’ll risk losing his job.

Why did it have to be Rafael? Hell, Buchanan would have been better, even if he had to deal with the gloating afterwards.

Other than in court they don’t see each other, it’s brutal. Sonny is doing his best but it’s clear even to him that they’ve got the wrong guy, that’s why Olivia and Fin brought in Barba, even they knew it.

On the other hand, seeing Rafael dressed up again in his sculpted suits, colourful ties and socks, suspenders too most likely although Sonny hasn’t been able to get a glimpse of those – it reminds him of the old Barba. Confident, arrogant and utterly brilliant. Sonny feels like an imposter sitting at this desk when Rafael is in the room, strutting around, owning the courtroom like he used to.

The beard is gone which is a shame, Sonny couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel against his skin. Its thoughts like that that are keeping him up at night. Even after all this time, he wants Rafael. When he does sleep, after a day of frustration he dreams of Rafael in his bed; after a day of despair, he dreams of Rafael in his home, wearing soft t-shirts and sweatpants, his hair a mess from sleep and a smile on his face.

After every dream like that he forces himself into court, just for it to remind him that it wasn’t real. Rafael wasn’t his.

--

Sonny loses the trial, but he isn’t surprised. Rafael doesn’t gloat, he nods his head and leaves with Liv and his client. Sonny heads straight to his office, wishing the day would be over already, Rafael is sitting at his desk when he walks in.

“Come to say goodbye before you disappear again?” Sonny shoots, Rafael winces and he feels as satisfied at the reaction as he does regret.

“I was always going to come back…” Rafael replies, not meeting his eyes, but he stands up and crosses the room to stand in front of the former detective.

“I thought…” he doesn’t finish the thought - if Rafael felt the same way he would have made the effort to say goodbye.

Rafael moves to reach out to touch Sonny but his hand freezes before it can make contact, falling limply at his side. Sonny swears he can feel the ghost of that touch, the warmth of Rafael’s hand on his chest.

“It was only supposed to be a few days, and then the longer I stayed away the harder it felt to come back. I got offered a job in Iowa and like the coward I am, I ran. But…” Rafael looks up into Sonny’s blue eyes, his own green ones glazed over and shining, Sonny couldn’t look away if he tried. “If I could do it again, I wouldn’t have left, I wouldn’t have stayed in the job, but I wouldn’t have left New York… I wouldn’t have left you.”

“What do you want from me, Rafael?” Sonny asks.

Rafael’s confession of regret at leaving him rattling around his brain, on repeat, getting louder and louder.

“You. I want you, however long it takes, I’m not leaving you again.”

Sonny lifts his hands to Rafael’s shoulders, the warmth radiating through the suit jacket making him certain that this is real, that he’s not about to wake up. His hands slide from Rafael’s shoulder to his neck and then jaw, his thumb tracing over Rafael’s bottom lip, gently tugging it before he’s walking Rafael back towards the wall, holding him there with his body and sealing their mouths together.

There’s no gradual increase in passion, the tension between them is reverberating too much under their skin and everything is hot, wet and rough. Nipping teeth, teasing tongues and roaming hands making every movement set their bodies on fire.

They’ve both waited years for this moment and judging by Rafael’s whimpers and moans into Sonny’s mouth he’s as likely to be able to wait as Sonny is. Rafael is the bolder of the two, always has been and he makes the first move to undo their belts. He starts on Sonny’s first, as though he’s desperate to get his hands on Sonny’s cock. When he does, Sonny grinds into the almost too tight grip, mouthing and biting at Rafael’s neck as Rafael works his length.

Not to be outdone, Sonny pulls back long enough to push Rafael’s suit jacket off his shoulders, quickly followed by his suspenders and he’s undoing Rafael’s trousers when the shorter man pulls them back together, his tongue licking into Sonny’s mouth, and sliding crudely against Sonny’s. Sonny finally manages to get a hand around Barba, he’s painfully hard and Sonny knows neither of them will last long, so he uses the precum leaking from Barba’s length to lubricate his hand on with every twist and slide of his thumb across the head – Rafael groans and flexes his hips for more.

Sonny finishes first, breathing hard into Rafael’s neck until Rafael follows him over the cliff, the wall and Sonny holding the shorter man up. They clean up the best they can but, in their haste to get off, there are stains on their shirts, Rafael grimaces at the mess and Sonny laughs quietly, kissing the expression away.

“Dinner?” Rafael asks, shrugging on his suit jacket and overcoat, a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

Sonny doesn’t even have to think, a literal dream coming true,

“Sounds good.”

[ahumanfemale]

Confessions : A Companion Piece (2/2)

Inspired by the work of @summermint. (X)

But what if Sonny receives on the very first day of each month, an email sent from an anonymous email account, containing a tiny confession from someone who loves him?

This is how it goes … and how Sonny feels about it.

1st January - Sonny sits behind his desk, anxious energy twisting and writhing low in his gut.  He squirms in his seat, mind reeling.  Work had piled up in the time he’d spent agonizing over his life choices and he does his best to at leasat make a dent.  Sometimes he forgets what he’s done.  He does paperwork and argues with Rollins for fun and the small gift box with the purple wrapping fades to the background.  For a minute.  Until he catches a glimpse of the receipt on his desk and the fear starts up again.

What if Barba knows?

What if he takes one look at his note and laughs?

Oh, God.  What if he calls Benson?

Sonny groans.

He’s a few seconds away from braining himself on his desk for his own stupidity - and to keep himself from ever having to face the consequences - when his computer chimes.  A happy, innocent sound that completely belies the nature of his existence at that moment.  An email.  He notices the unnamed sender and almost deletes it, imagining already a pitch for cheap designer sunglasses or Viagra, but the subject line stops him.

To my Sonny

He clicks the message open, hungry eyes scanning the few meager lines of text.  His heart jumps in his chest and he blinks.  First in confusion, then in joy, and then in something like abject terror.

Old?

Cynical?

Asshole?

What were the chances?

1st February - The second email comes late in the evening, just before midnight as Sonny is finally crawling into bed.  His phone beeps to signal a message and any other day he would have left it.  But today is February the first and he’d snuck another gift to Barba earlier in the day, leaving the small box of candy on Carmen’s desk while she was at lunch.  Once may have been a fluke... he gets an email on the day of Barba’s first gift, from an anonymous person who wants to Sonny to be waiting at home for them.  But twice?  Sonny settles himself against the pillows and opens it up, surprised at the personal admission.  Would Barba go so far as to mock him with false confessions?  Confessions like this, that reek of vulnerability?  He didn’t know.  Sonny had always worried that he was the last thing Barba would want.  Maybe he was.  Maybe this wasn’t Barba, telling Sonny what he wanted and needed and missed out on.  

Sonny read them again anyway. 

1st March - There’s something wrong with him.  It’s all he can figure, knowing how God felt about the thoughts running through his head.  Sonny was born Catholic, was raised in the church, had even considered joining the clergy himself.  And still here he was, imagining loosening Barba’s tie with the blunt edges of his teeth.  Grabbing the taut elastic of his suspenders and snapping them, gently at first, and then harder to listen to Barba’s shocked gasp as they stung the tender skin of his nipples through his shirt.  Sonny feels guilty, feels sick as he feels himself stiffening insistently behind the loose fabric of his boxers.  He knows he’ll touch himself soon, knows it will be Barba’s direct green gaze behind his eyelids as they shutter closed and as he fucks the tight circle of his fist.

His admirer has trust issues.

Sonny has faith issues.

1st April - Barba knows.  

Sonny is certain of it now, with the message sitting in his inbox.  He’s read it dozens of times now, memorizing those two sentences with all the affection he can muster in a halfway house with ten other men.  He knows it’s a mistake to have something personal with him - any one of the guys in the other bunk beds would be willing to bust him up just for being a cop - but he couldn’t leave it behind.  Not knowing what his next confession was due to arrive on Barba’s desk that day, knowing what he would read when he opened it.  

Barba knows.  

Barba prays for him.

Sonny wants to go home.

1st May - He would think that scarf was ugly - Sonny was particularly fond of it.  His great-aunt Vera bought it for him because it matched his eyes.  Didn’t matter.  Sonny had his eye on a better one anyway - something dark blue and pristine white.  Something draped carelessly over Rafael’s chair while the man takes a phone call.  He makes sure to take off down the hall before Barba returns.

1st June - Barba’s confession in June hurts the most but Sonny understands.  Appreciates it, even.  Sonny knows how hard it is.  To have someone under your skin, in your blood.  Before acceptance comes denial.  The period where you concern yourself with the superficial - is it the ties, the flecks of gray in his otherwise dark hair?  Could those same things on someone else hold the same sway?  Sonny knew now that they didn’t... but Barba deserved to discover that for himself.  Even if it killed Sonny to read, even if every part of him screamed in misery.  First at the thought of someone else taking his Rafael into their body, at the thought of someone other than him seeing the look on his face as he surrendered himself to orgasm.  Then at the idea of Rafael in so much pain, at hating himself so much.  Sonny wanted to comfort him.  Wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he understood.  

That maybe what they were fighting didn’t have to be a battle.  That maybe it could be a beginning.  

1st July - Sonny gets ice cream every day for a week.  Delights in the color staining Rafael’s cheeks and maybe spends too much time cleaning the sticky sweetness from his fingertips.  Rafael practically runs out the door and Sonny wants to chase him and offer strawberry-flavored kisses and a still-cool tongue on which to spend himself.

1st August - Fuck.  Oh, fuck.  There was nothing Sonny would love more than darkening bruises on his hips.  Bruises in the shape of Rafael’s fingers.  Indentations pressed into pale skin as Rafael thrusts up, as he pulls away to finish across the soft flesh of his lower abdomen.  The feeling as Rafael smears his fingers into his on fluids and traces it into Sonny’s skin - wide across his hips, low onto his pubic bone and the thick patch of curls at the base of his prick.  For his own part of the bargain... Sonny didn’t know yet.  It would require thought, consideration.  An outrageous amount of fantasizing.  Absolute fucking certainty because he was going to remember it forever.

1st September - Sonny has three weeks of vacation days saved up.  He sets aside fourteen of them, already wishing for the days they’d spend in a red convertible on smooth road.  The world in front of them.  Reality behind them.  When he could whisper Italian nothings in Rafael’s ear as he drove and fully appreciate the man’s knuckles pulling white on the steering wheel.  His gruff promises of what will happen to Sonny once they stop for the night.

Sonny can’t wait.

1st October - He would wear a chain of bruises.  A sweet, sacred rosary of love bites so long as it was the shape of Rafael’s teeth that marked his skin.

1st November - What Rafael doesn’t know is that he hums a lot.  When he cooks, when he cleans.  When he thinks.  When his body is at the very edge of release and he’s hoping the vibration in his chest will tip him over the precipice.  He’ll find out soon enough, Sonny imagines.  He only has one confession left - his last.  His final expression of courage, of hope.  He already has it written - he’s just waiting for the day to come around.

He hums the entire way home.

1st December - The ring fits.  

They both knew it would.

[hefellfordean]

18th prompt from tis season for Barisi...

I might have read all of the fics in this ship.... And it is partially your fault. But mostly my greed for Angiest Angst and Fluffiest Fluff

Christmas Prompt Number 18: “Merry Christmas, motherfuckers!”

The perp pounds on the glass of the interview room, a deranged look in his eye.

“I know you’re all out there watching, waiting for me to confess. Well, guess what? I did it! I killed them! Merry Christmas, motherfuckers!”

Rafael exchanges a look with Olivia and steps away from the glass. “Well, at least that means we get to go home now.”

“The confession is going to be enough to charge him?” Finn asks and Rafael nods.

“Yeah, I’ll throw the book at him,” he says with a smirk.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Olivia tells him. “Hey, Carisi, Rollins nice work in there.”

The two detectives have just stepped out of the interview room and Sonny smiles widely at her.

“Thanks lieu,” he says. “Oh hey, Raf.”

“Hey yourself,” Rafael says, still smirking. “Ready to go home?”

Sonny nods. “So ready. Is it okay if I head, lieu?”

“Go,” Olivia says, waving a hand at him. “All of you, enjoy the holidays.”

Rafael holds out a hand to Sonny, who takes it, entwining their fingers like it’s become second nature to him now.

“We’ll see you in the New Year,” Rafael says, just the edge of a threat in his voice.

Rollins rolls her eyes as Olivia laughs. Sonny tugs on his hand.

“Come on Rafi, let’s go home.”

[barisifictionarchive]

Title: I Have Been Revised

Author: rafaelbaseball

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 3718

Tags: Rafael Barba/Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba, Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr., post-undiscovered country, Reuniting, confessions of feelings, Post-Canon Fix-It, Professor Barba, Pining, Emotional, angst with a hopeful ending

Summary: It’s been a year since Sonny last saw Rafael. He decides it’s been long enough.

—

“I don’t even get a ‘hi’?” Sonny asks. His tone isn’t mocking, not sarcastic, it’s just barely teasing, but Rafael finally turns to face him with an unexpected, mildly pained expression and sad smile.

Letting out a deep breath, Rafael sighs, “Hi.” He swallows, eyes darting between his shoes and Sonny. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

Comments: An emotional fix-it with beautiful confessions and a heart-warming ending. This almost has a will they/won't they make it feel that tightens your gut then makes you smile.

Rafael sighs, though there seems to be a spark of hope behind his uncertainty. “So what, you want to start over?”

“No,” Sonny tells him, ignoring the flicker of disappointment in Rafael’s eyes. “No, Rafael, I want to pick up where we left off."

[fallintomyhands]

Blacked out card for @barisifandomevents !

Fake Relationship: Dreams – Asmodesgold (M) 

·        Barba gets the flu. Carisi gets more than he bargained for. A sweet, soft fic full of longing and loving care.

Wedding:  In Vino Veritas – etothepii ( E ) 

·        A bachelor party, a wedding, late nights in the office, and confusion. One of my favorite fics of Carisi figuring himself out, featuring a lot of unique but realistic situations, tenderness and heat, angst, and hopefulness. A fandom must read.

Alternate Universe: The Primitive and Sanctified – Konigsberg ( E ) 

·        Demons exist, unbeknownst to SVU… except the members counted amongst their ranks. This is one of my favorite stories of all time, and please don’t let the supernatural elements (or the fact this is sadly still a WIP) “scare” you away! The “monstrous” elements are used to perfectly capture characterization, and this is the most tender fic I’ve ever read.  Makes you want to crawl into the soft, dreamy feelings and live there forever. Please give this a shot if you haven’t already; perfection.

Crack Fic: Overstepping – rellkelltn87 (M) 

·        A raid on a real-life mad scientist goes horribly wrong, and ends with Carisi “in a family way.” I never thought I’d see an mpreg story in this fandom that could come off so believable, but this author works miracles (in a much kinder way than her characters!) Part casefic, part romance, all suspense, don’t pass this one up, you will not be disappointed!

Based on a Movie:  Do Monsters Dream? – bourgeois ( E ) 

·        Shape of Water AU in which Sonny works at an aquatic research facility and meets someone special. Takes place in a timeline where we see Carisi struggling after the Tom Cole incident, heart wrenchingly portrayed through his losses, personal and professional, and his meeting of another lonely, imprisoned soul. Beautifully written, absolutely captivating prose, wistful, heartfelt and magical.

Animals:  Yuletide by the Fireside – Juniperhoot 

·        First Christmas with a new love, and unfortunately a new, smaller paycheck. Tenderness, cozy domesticity, and the most adorable dog ever singing along to bad TV music numbers; what more could you want? If your answer was ‘thoughtful characterization’ – that’s here too!

First Date:  Everything Seems a Little Bit Sweeter – rafaelbaseball, burgeois 

·        Barba is obsessed with a YouTube chef, and enters a contest to meet him for dinner. One of the earliest fics I was obsessed with. The whole series is lovely, and the actual date is so tentative and lovely it makes my heart clench. Barba finding himself not in the age group of Sonny’s fans is painfully relatable and a stroke of genius.

Carisi Family:  A Healing Year – Adrianna_m_scovill (M) 

·        A year in the life of Barba and Carisi, in which Barba faces his insecurities and begins to heal, and to love. A fantastic story from start to finish, with top notch characterization and intense emotions, steamy sex, and everything in between. I chose this for my family fic not just because there’s a lovely holiday spent with the Carisi family, but because the fic also embodies how Carisi manages to make everyone in his life his family. Utterly captivating story from an author that always makes an emotional impact.

Soulmates:  Choose To Be With You – Robin Hood 

·        Sometimes the person who has your heart doesn’t have your soul. Great take on the soulmates trope, heartfelt, heartbreaking, mature. Insightful characterization of both characters, but especially Carisi, who faces an impossible situation, and reacts exactly how I believe the character would do.

Get Together:  Noche Sin Estrella – Lambnoire 

·        Casefic in which Barba is injured, and Carisi figures something out about himself when his protective streak becomes something more. A pretty much perfect fic; perfect characterization, strong and realistic casefic, recurring canon characters that feel true to themselves, whump that expresses the right amounts of terror without delving outside the scope of the show, and a slow burn journey of romance and self-acceptance that is meticulously paced, utterly realistic and hits every emotional mark flawlessly. Now that it’s back, make sure you don’t miss out.

Break Up:  Every Time We Touch – OblivionCastro 

·        Soulmate AU where the touch of your partner gives you pain.  A 5+1 fic, a soulmate fic, but mostly, a lyrically written story of enduring pain and enduring its loss. A wonderful metaphor for the agony of love and loss that brings me to tears every time.

Secret Relationship: Pink (& Other Promises) – leslielol 

·        Barba and Carisi fall together, and decide to keep it under wraps for a while; results vary. A common premise with uncommonly good prose. Vivid, lyrical language wraps around a soft story about affection, subterfuge, and acceptance.  A very different look at Barba and Carisi than the author’s main fic, but no less enduring and amazing.

WIP:  Much Farther To Go – nukablastr (M) 

·        The threats on Barba’s life have been declared a cold case, but Carisi decides to do some investigating on his own to protect the man he loves. This is the third part of a long series detailing the “missing” events in S17, and exploring beyond into “what could have been” if this major plot hadn’t been dropped. I added part 3 for the WIP, but recommend reading from the beginning. This story is expertly paced and plotted, and feels absolutely like it could be a piece of canon. One of the seminal works of the barisi fic fandom; read it if you haven’t.

Shadowing:  Mind if I Sit Down? – Larkin21 ( E ) 

·        Another episode tag based story from S17, featuring Carisi and Barba entering into a casual relationship behind the scenes. There’s not really many (or any!) full stories of Carisi shadowing Barba, but I was glad to be able to include this series, which features a full chapter on the shadowing episode. Again, I recommend reading the entire series, as it’s full of fantastically written plot and characterization, seamlessly weaving deep insights on the characters and blisteringly hot sex into the best seasons of the show. Another not-to-be-missed series!

Get Together:  I’m gonna leave it all out there to dry – littleblacksubmarine  ( E ) 

·        Carisi is barely keeping it together, and Barba is waiting to be allowed to help; a story of depression, self-loathing, comfort and devotion told through incredibly poignant intimate and sexual encounters. An unusual depiction of a very dark Sonny, and a protective, self-sacrificing Rafael who’s there for him every painful step of the way. Amazing story that captures perfectly some very different aspects of the characters than we typically see, and still feels 100% true. This story has broken and healed my heart so many times.

Holiday:  Pass Here and Go On – abogadobarba 

·        After the events of Undiscovered Country, Barba and Carisi reconnect, by chance, on a train of all places. Full of atmosphere, literary references, and some of the best prose in the fandom. This story is pure poetry, creating a tone of loneliness and longing, the sense of expanse and yet confinement that only travel can bring, and ultimately peacefulness and hope.  

Alternate Career Rafael: In This Light – Astronaut_Milky (M) 

·        Barba is a photographer, Carisi is a model, both men destined to keep finding… and losing, each other. Beautiful, sexy story about two men whose jobs keep bringing them together, and tearing them apart, full of light and heat and beautiful people and beautiful imagery.  

Undercover:  Have You Ever Wished For An Endless Night? – minnesotamemelord 

·        Carisi goes undercover at a high-powered legal event, and runs into someone familiar. A look at Sonny getting to go undercover at a nicer event than we normally see! Well written characterizations, and some interesting contemplations on unique issues, such as Carisi’s opinion on wealth and the wealthy that felt so spot on I immediately felt they were canon. Also, poor Rafael; he has such terrible friends!

5+1:  We Had No Haste – alwaysbuddy 

·        Carisi and Barba meet over and over in the most coincidental of places, but succumb to their own insecurities. Breathtaking story about two should-be fated lovers who continue to meet and connect over a multitude of vacations, but can’t bring themselves to reach for what they want, until they fear it may be too late. Gorgeous, atmospheric, romantic and sad, in equal measure, with an ending that’s happy, but still exudes a sense of so much lost time. This fic haunts my thoughts in the best ways.

Cooking:  Sustenance – AhumanFemale, tiberius (E ) 

·        Barba’s friends buy him a live-in chef for a time, so he can stop living on pretzels and coffee. Sweeping piece of art that exudes sensuality and the feel of time slipping through your fingers.

First Meeting:  Here and Now – wormghoul 

·        Barba and Carisi meet, and have a whirlwind romance, at LSAT camp before being parted until they meet again at SVU. The imagery and language used in this story has stuck with me for a long time. Shockingly, wrenchingly accurate descriptions of the feelings of holding memories dear, “as a talisman,” and the devastating feelings of having them torn away from you by reality… but also the hope that they can be made anew.  

Crack Fic:  It’s Not Too Late/Gag Order – cupidmarwani 

·        Carisi has a superpower, and has reached the end of his rope. Carisi has seen too much, and has the power to burn it all down. Barba wants to save him, but has to face stark reality. Short, intense story about the toll Carisi’s job takes on him, and how he becomes one of the monsters that he used to fight. Depressing, heartbreaking, terrifyingly relatable, this is an overlooked gem.

Confession:  Him. – keraunoscopia 

·        Carisi struggles with his sexuality and internalized homophobia, and seeks aid from the Church.  Quiet, powerful, painful, and so, so beautiful.

Domestic:  Daylight – cypress_tree ( E ) 

·        Carisi stays the night for the first time and Barba sees him in the sunlight. Short, sweet, hot. What’s more domestic than two people in love, unwilling to get out of bed and leave one another’s presence?

Fix It:  Good Morning – Kaye_21 (M) 

·        A threat to Barba’s life does not end well – repeatedly! Another “supernatural” style fic that shouldn’t be overlooked, even if it’s not your genre. Barba, stuck in a room with Carisi and a man out to kill them both, needs to figure out what is required of him to prevent their deaths, before he loses his mind. Fantastic character study. Terrifying, sad, sexy and hopeful. I chose this one for “fix it,” since as barisi itself could be considered a canon “fix it” or missed opportunity, and this fic itself embodies Barba himself finding a way to be that fix.

[svudrabbles]

MASTERLIST

Alright, since my requests are closed for the time being, I figured I’d create a masterlist so you can all enjoy my writings more easily. :)

WARNING!! - ** MEANS NSFW

Olivia Benson -

Imagine Olivia has a crush on you but doesn’t know how to tell you

Imagine you get assaulted at Olivia’s apartment

Imagine Olivia helps you come out to your family

Imagine the first time Olivia calls you her love

Imagine needing affection from Liv but she’s at the station

Imagine being in an abusive relationship and having to tell Liv

Imagine being new to SVU and fainting in Liv’s arms

Imagine Liv gets you off in her office **

Imagine you’re Liv’s daughter and get caught up in a school shooting

Imagine you’ve never been with a woman before

Imagine Liv gets jealous of another mom flirting with you

Imagine being very fortunate, and Liv doesn’t think she’s good enough for you

Imagine being an old friend of Liv’s who’s transferred back to SVU

Imagine you’re being abused by your girlfriend

Imagine asking Noah if it’s okay that you’re dating his mommy

Imagine you’re pregnant

Imagine Liv finds you’d been targeted by a serial killer/rapist

Imagine Liv using a strap on with you **

Imagine you get in a horrific accident

Imagine a perp manhandles you and Liv intervenes

Imagine you’re kidnapped by William Lewis, and Liv blames herself

Imagine being Liv’s daughter and having her teach you self defense

Imagine Liv gets upset to find out you previously dated a supermodel

Imagine Liv helps you because you’re bleeding, and your girlfriend thinks you’re cheating

Imagine drunk texting Liv

Imagine having a crush on Liv, and it coming out when you fall on the ice

Imagine Liv getting jealous

Imagine you struggle with an ED and Liv has you do mandatory lunch dates

Imagine Liv is insecure about the age gap

Imagine Liv tells you she loves you while undercover

Imagine Liv asks you to marry her

Imagine Liv has to assert her dominance

Imagine begging Liv for a cat

Imagine Liv finds out you’re sisters

Imagine you were once a figure skater and you show Liv your tricks

Imagine you have depression and Liv becomes worried about you

Imagine Liv teases you because you still sleep with a cuddly

Imagine being cold and Liv knows just how to warm you up **

Imagine Liv has to assert her dominance 2

Song Fic - Too Late

Song Fic - Shy

Amanda Rollins -

Imagine Amanda and you get into a fight

Imagine Amanda helps you relax...sort of **

Imagine being FWB with Amanda, but you fall in love

Imagine you’re Amanda’s girlfriend but you suffer with severe anxiety

Imagine Amanda gets jealous after a prostitute flirts with you

Imagine you get kidnapped

Imagine Amanda calls you crying after finding out she killed Esther Labbott

Imagine Jesse refers to you as mommy 

Imagine protecting Amanda from Patton

Imagine Amanda is insecure about your age gap 

Song Fic - If My Name Was Whiskey

Peter Stone -

Imagine Peter gets upset when you try to get a confession from a perp

Sonny Carisi -

Imagine Sonny catches you singing

Imagine you’re Barba’s daughter and having to keep it a secret that you’re dating Sonny

Nick Amaro -

Just Your Touch

Imagine you’re a younger detective and the age gap bothers him

Imagine you’re Nick’s daughter and you come out of the closet

Imagine taking care of Nick while he’s sick

Alex Cabot -

Imagine Alex helps you study for the bar

Rolivia -

One Shot

Imagine being Rolivia’s daughter, and welcoming Liv home after her being kidnapped by William Lewis

Extended scene of 21x06

Imagine having a threesome with Rolivia **

One Shot

One Shot

Barisi -

One Shot

[barisifandomevents]

Title: say something (i've got a lot to lose)

Author: punk_rock_yuppie

Prompt(s): Side A: Blue + Side B: Declaration of Love

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Word Count: 9096

Tags: Rafael Barba/Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba, Dominick “Sonny” Carisi Jr., Get together fic, coma fic, Haunting, First Kisses, Love Confessions, Barisi Pride 2020, Banter, Teasing, Dubious Medical Science, Happy Ending, Discussions of Religious Acceptance, bisexual sonny, Ambiguously Queer Rafael, Major Character Injury

Summary: “Don’t freak out,” Carisi says. He holds up his hands as if to placate Rafael from across the room.

“Sure,” Rafael agrees. It’s surprisingly easy to agree. His heart isn’t even racing yet.

“You’re freaking out, aren’t you?” Carisi, blue and ethereal as he is, sets the briefcase aside and stands. “C’mon, counselor, don’t freak out on me. I’ve been freaking out for like, two hours.”

Or, Carisi's in a coma. Carisi is also somehow haunting Rafael. It all works out in the end.