#basically the the first song is about feeling lost and confused and wanting to scream and cry but keeping on anyway

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

feel like in the last year I sorta speedran Jinsei Nannimo Wakannee by Necry Talkie to Nobishiro by Creepy Nuts

[astronavegiradisco]

what are some of your cute/romantic lucanya headcanons ?<3

I started writing this but I accidentally left the app and Tumblr deleted it all, I'm never rawdogging a long Tumblr ask bro 😭😭😭

Anyways I'm rewriting it all as best as possible

Under cut bc it's long!

- Meeting Lucio for the first time in Basel was probably extremely overwhelming for Danya, but still such a wonderful experience. Lucio was even more beautiful and more kind that he would have ever imagined. He got lost in the adorable thick Italian accent of his when speaking English, line of thought completely gone during the whole conversation, Valya having to playfully nudge him a little to come back to reality

- When Danya shamefully confessed he was very eager to meet the other man, Lucio simply told him he was aware, certain playfulness in his voice. After all, he was asked non-stop about the Ukrainian man on his Reddit AMA (having to confusedly google the Ukrainian act, only to end up listening one or two songs and being delighted by the voice of a certain blonde vocalist), and even having official Ukrainian media asking him about all of it. It was honestly confusing for Lucio, but Danya ultimately explained between shameful apologies that he was simply a big fan of his work. Danya stopped working when Lucio told him with a gentle smile that he was also very eager to meet him

- Danya was obviously the one that wanted to make a first move. He had all kinds of romantic escenarios on his mind, from expensive dinners to elaborate poetic confessions under the moonlight. However, all opportunities to make the first move ultimately shattered when it was Lucio who dragged him into an isolated corner of the Eurovision arena after the first semifinal, planting him a soft, knowing kiss into the blonde's lips. That night, no words were needed

- Danya used to embarassingly sneak from his hotel to Lucio's own to spend the night, having to avoid the all-knowing playful gazes of the other participants every time he was not-so-discreetly back to an hotel that wasn't his. They would spend the night together talking about old bands, playing 70s rock and singing along (the collab cover of Solsbury Hill finally happened, Danya thought, although in the intimacy of an hotel room, between quiet whispers and candid hugs), cuddling together and softly kissing. Danya would fast fall asleep in Lucio's arms, having to confront his fed up twin every morning he was not present in his own hotel room

- Danya would love to bring Lucio flowers, specially tiny wild flowers he would find amongst the warm Basel spring. "This one reminded me of you," he would say, softly placing a small dandelion on Lucio's hair

- Lucio calls Danya any kind of pet names in Italian, and Danya would be lying if he said it didn't melt him right away every time. The time Danya finally googled what "cucciolo" meant, his face went bright red

- I think at some point Lucio would catch a glimpse of Danya's folder of fanart of the two of them (a folder I'm 50% sure it's something Danya has. He 100% saves art of him and Lucio together). When Danya was asked about it, he would just say he has those drawings on his phone simply because he thinks their fans are very talented (and will not talk about the obviously shippy implications of most of the artworks. Nope.)

- Danya is not brave enough for public displays of affection, but he very much wishes. He is not possessive or any of the sorts, but he is extremely proud of being able to call Lucio his, and wishes he could scream to the whole wide world that Lucio and him are an item. Lucio, on the other hand, doesn't mind, and will sometimes sneak a hand to Danya's waist, or a sneaky little kiss on Danya's forehead when nobody is watching. It makes Danya feel special

- The day they had to leave Basel was probably a heartbreaking experience. Danya sobbed and hugged Lucio tighter on Lucio's bed the morning he had to go, basically begging to please not let go. Lucio promised to see each other someday, in Italy, in Ukraine, wherever it would take. Danya kept to that promise, as wild and not possible as it felt, he wanted to believe.

- They keep in touch and do their best to keep their relationship working long-distance, as hard it is for Lucio to constantly checking on his phone, he does an effort for Danya, who is constantly needy and hoping for Lucio's attention. When they exchanged numbers, Lucio told Danya that he sadly is only acquaintanced with using Whatsapp, but Danya did not mind and installed the app only for him :)

- Related to the one above, Danya sends Lucio cute animal memes and silly selfies every morning, which makes Lucio's day always a little bit better. Sometimes Danya sneaks a quick cover of a song they both like, or one of Lucio's song. Sometimes Lucio would do the same, singing whatever song on his piano. Danya rewatches these videos every night until falling asleep, adoring the warmth of Lucio's voice

[myfairkatiecat]

KOTLC Songs

(ft. a lot of Olivia Rodrigo, but there are some other artists)

@iggydancebreak since you mentioned living these sorts of things!

(Feel free to add onto the list)

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS! Fitz’s Olivia Rodrigo breakup music with Sophie!

Traitor (“you talked to her when we were together” and “guess you didn’t cheat but you’re still a traitor” and “remember I brought her up and you told me I was paranoid” and “I wish you would have thought this through before I went and fell in love with you”

Happier (“I hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me, I’m selfish I know, I can’t let you go, so find someone great but don’t find no one better, I hope you’re happy but don’t be happier” tell me that’s not his reaction to Sophie and Keefe)

Drivers License (“and you’re probably with that blonde guy who always made me doubt”)

Deja Vu (different lyrics but basically about how Keefe gives her gifts and chats with Sophie telepathically but that was Fitz and Sophie’s thing first)

OK NOW THAT FITZ HAS GOTTEN TO SING HIS ANGSTY BREAKUP MUSIC

Next up, Keefe Sencen’s complicated everything feelings!!

You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift (specifically in the early books!!) (“can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you, been here all along so why can’t you see, you belong with me” also that song talks all about being with that person who is perfect on paper but isn’t the right person)

That’s what makes you beautiful by One Direction is just objectively a Sokeefe song! (“You’re insecure, don’t know what for, you’re turning heads when you walk through the door” and “Everyone else in the room can see it, everyone else but you” and “you don’t know you’re beautiful, that’s what makes you beautiful”)

Enough for You by Olivia Rodrigo is Keefe to his parents, all you have to do is change the early lyrics about dating !! (“You say I’m never satisfied but I don’t think that’s true, you say I’m never satisfied but that’s not me it’s you, cause all I ever wanted was to be enough, but I don’t think anything could ever be enough, for you”)

The Grudge by Olivia Rodrigo is Keefe singing to his mother (“the trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers, you took everything I loved and crushed it in between youre fingers” and “I hear your voice every time that I think I’m not enough” and “I try to be tough but I want to scream how could anybody do the things you did so easily” and “I say that I’m fine, but you know I can’t let it go, I’ve tried I’ve tried I’ve tried” and “I try to understand how you could do this all to me” and “I know in my heart hurt people hurt people, we both drew blood, but man those cuts were never equal” and “do you think I deserved it all, your flowers filled with vitriol”) just ahdkfhskahddk

ALL THE THINGS SHE SAID!!! I cannot stress how KEEFE this song is. But specifically the bridge: “mother looking at me, tell me what do you see? Yes I’ve lost my mind… daddy looking at me, will I ever be free? Have I crossed the line? All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head, running through my head…” especially with “have I crossed the line” being the betrayal and “all the things she said” being his mother talking about Keefe’s legacy, embracing the change……… IT’S HIM.

Family Line by Conan Gray I have already mentioned before, but just. “All that I did to try to undo it, all of my pain and all youre excuses, I was a kid but I wasn’t clueless, someone who loves you wouldn’t do this” I’m gonna cry it’s him and I’m gonna cry

And now onto random Olivia Rodrigo songs that make me think of kotlc!

Lacy is Stina singing about Sophie. (“Lacy oh lacy, skin like puff pastry, aren’t you the sweetest thing on this side of hell. Lacy oh lacy, eyes wide as daisies, did I ever tell you that I’m not doing well” and “I care I care I care” and “you’ve got the one thing that I want” “aren’t you the greatest thing to ever exist” and “Lacy oh lacy, it’s like you’re out to get me, you poison every little thing that I do”) IS THAT NOT PROVIDING SO MUCH PERSPECTIVE. IS THAT NOT HOW STINA FEELS

Can’t Catch me Now is Jolie haunting Brant. (“There’s blood on the side of the mountain, there’s writing all over the wall, shadows of us are still dancing, in every room in every hall” and “all of the messes you made, yeah you think that you got away” and “I’m in the trees, I’m in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground, you’ll see my face in every place, but you can’t catch me now” and “you think I’m gone cause I left” and “you can’t, you can’t catch me now, I’m coming like a storm into your town, you can’t, you can’t catch me now, I’m higher than the hopes that you brought down” and “sometimes the fire you founded don’t burn the way you you’d expect, oh you thought that this was the end”) SCREAMING CRYING IS THAT NOT RUEDACTED IN A SONG

I WANT TO HEAR EVERYBODY’S THOUGHTS

[everestphillips]

A Loving Touch

"This was insane, right?"

In one moment, Everest was in the middle of a board room where people barking about his performance at each other, while another bunch was yapping about pretty clothes and frivolous events he needs to attend next. It was all jumbled noise until he heard the song, which cut through everything like a sharp blade. Without much warning, he stood from that room and made his way out, leaving everyone in confusion.

The last thing he remembered was being in his room and sending his family a text that everything will be fine and that he was going to miss them. And practically the moment after he sent that message, he was in darkness. The air cool and damp, and his surroundings unfamiliar, with creatures only barely fathomed through media. Everest was definitely going insane.

Truly, everything from the moment he arrived to his walk to the temple was a blur. Things Everest was witnessing that he couldn't quite believe. Hell, even in the big temple where he's had a moment to be in, he was in disbelief. The godling felt his body was basically on autopilot, instinctively taking him to a certain spot in the giant marble structure before he noticed everyone was waiting patiently before a different god. Maybe he'll finally figure out who his parent is. Maybe it was someone that would make sense of his life. Then he turned around and saw Aphrodite.

"Hmmm." Seemed like it was the only thing he can respond with to this new discovery. He shouldn't be disappointed. I mean, he wasn't. Because at the end of the day, his mother was and still is a stranger.

Nothing seemed to click for Everest, even when the voice started to ring through his head, he just thought it was some elaborate ruse. Though, it's not like he do could anything else but stare at the clocked figured coming closer to him with the chalice. Taking it in his hands, Ev inspected the ornate cup and the weirdly pretty drink inside of it. "Awfully pretty for something that can supposedly do such damage," he thought to himself. Of course, he should have just drank it like he was instructed. The racer did already come this far but he still had some concerns. Even so, before he could say anything, he already saw a few men downing their drinks and being escorted out.

"Oh, so we're just drinking the kool-aid with blind faith?"

Which probably got an ugly look from those who could hear him. Now, all he could think about now was the Jonestown massacre. If this is happening, might as well not be the last one to drink it, he didn't want to be the last one dead. And for some reason, he looked back at the statue once more, feeling a strange sense of comfort before he got the courage to drink his first sip. God, this was fucking awful, he thought to himself as he choked on the strange substance, making sure not to accidentally spit anything out. Nah, he needed to drink everything in one go and not prolonge his torture. So, he raised his chalice like it was some shot and knocked it back in one chug.

When the last drop was swallowed, he felt his blood become hotter, and his heart beating faster until eventually, it felt like fire burned under his skin. Everest gripped onto the chalice while his other hand gripped his chest, his nails digging into his skin, desperate in stopping the acceleration of his heart one way or another. But it was obvious he was losing this battle, and once he lost the grip on his cup, the ring of the metal against the marble was paired with the sound of heart going *pop*.

Everest regained consciousness with a scream, fighting to fill his lungs with the air he needed. It took him many deep breaths until he could feel himself calm down, but once he felt composed, he noticed he was back in his old room. "So it was just a dream" the driver said to himself before reaching out to his phone and noticing that no one texted back. Not even his family. It was bittersweet, but now, they had no reason to worry.

However, now that he was back home, everything he just dreamed about felt real. Like it was meant to happen. Regardless, there was nothing he can do now.

Ever since that day, Everest felt like his days have become meaningless. Everything he did was becoming monotonous, even losing the passion he had to drive. But they still had him in full display, using him to get all they needed from him. He just became a puppet for those he worked for.

Everest has become an emotionless husk, but he still dreaded being made to go out. He was now uncomfortable everywhere he went, because now all eyes were on him. That shouldn't have been something new to him, but this felt completely different. Like they were dissecting him. Like they were undressing him. Like he was in an enclosure for everyone else to enjoy.

Regardless how uncomfortable he was, what was going to come next was even worse. Like clockwork, the crowd just stampeded towards him. The same things being screamed at him, the same empty words trying to take advantage of him, as they clawed at him, ripping through his clothes, through his flesh, until his chest was bare and heaving, ashamed to be at the mercy of the public once more.

Everything has gone exactly the same as every day since his weird dream. Everest expected things to go black, and he'd wake up again back in his car. But instead, he felt the some cool droplets on his skin. Somehow, the gentle rain tethered him to reality, and made him realize, was his life always like this? Beyond the exaggerated horror's he's experienced these past few days, his life has been nothing more than a pageant and a mean for others to climb up the social hierarchy.

Slowly, he was feeling more like himself, the rain now began to pour, washing over his wounds, slowly foaming up only for them to disappear. Everest even felt his heart beat faster. But instead of the same frantic fear he felt when he drank the ambrosia, it made him feel butterflies at the pit of his stomach. He could feel his cheeks turn red, and couldn't stop smiling. Yeah, he was alone, but for once in a long time, Everest didn't feel lonely.

As cute as that heartwarming moment was, he still endured days of torture in just the past eight hours. And now, Everest was on the floor of this strange room. Clearly fallen from the bed with how the sheets have dragged along with him. "Water. I need water," he shouted to no one was as he attempted to get up and find something to drink. Running to the bathroom, Everest splashed water onto his face before he gave himself a good look at himself in the mirror. The godling might have been the son of Aphrodite, but he's definitely seen better days.

"I guess this is real... and i'm doing it too."

[matbedumb]

Augusta is one of my favorite Gracie Abrams songs so I wanted to share my interpretation of it.

[Verse 1] :

Feel like maybe I might go to Boston

Cut my hair in the way that I've wanted

Change my number and bury my wallet

California makes me exhausted

For me it's a song that expresses a great feeling of uncertainty about life in general. Already from the first sentence we can see this uncertainty with "maybe" and "might" which shows this vague vision on her future. This first verse expresses a great need for change and a certain way of letting go. She feels the need to change city (in this case to go to Boston) to also change her physical appearance by cutting her hair. What's important is that she wants to cut them the way she wish without this restraint that prevents her from doing so and that's why I talk about letting go. With the third sentence we learn that she also has the need to completely change her identity in order to probably cut off contact with certain people who are part of her life and no longer be able to be recognized. And finally the last sentence of this first verse gives in part the reason for this need of total change: the state in which she lives (California) exhausts her. She must surely be suffocating in her town, not feeling well. I guess that whole first verse represents all of her musings about disappearing to completely change her horizons and possibly have a better new life in Boston. Except that precisely these are only daydreams and these are not things that she actually does.

[Chorus] :

I'm lost

I'm lost

The chorus screams uncertainty. She is completely disorientated, has no bearings, cannot create or imagine a future. She is disarmed in the face of life and does not know where she is going.

[Verse 2] :

Heard a poem about mid-October

How the leaves in the fall feel like closure

About a girl that the guy wasn't over

Think that I might relate when I'm older

For the second verse, (I'm not entirely sure of my analysis but) I think the mention of the fall highlights her need to disappear to become another person no one will know. Autumn represents decline and even death. The leaves begin to fall from the trees and then give way to the creation of new ones in the spring. I think it's a metaphor that again shows her need for change. Besides, she describes the leaves as a closure, it actually marks the end of a period, the closure of a period to move on to a new one potentially better than the previous one. So this poem she heard about mid-October reinforces her idea of ​​renewal. (Maybe I'm going too far on this.) Then there's that uncertainty again with "might" in the last sentence.

The chorus remains the same except that this time "I'm lost" is said 4 times instead of 2 which shows that the situation is getting worse. She is twice as confused.

[Verse 3]

Tough, I don't know a lot that could hurt me

Learned the hard way to forget my body

'Til you're walking around like a zombie

Still don't know how to talk through that story

The third verse is based on her degraded sanity. The first line is my favorite of the whole song because it describes extremely well the state you are in when you feel so bad that you come to a state of complete indifference where nothing can affect you anymore, the world that surrounds you no longer has an impact on you, nothing really matters anymore. To the point where you no longer do the basic things like taking care of your body, eating well, etc. Until the moment you become a zombie, that is to say that you no longer have any real emotions or simply a soul. Just this void. And at the end we learn that it's something she keeps to herself because it's difficult to open up about it and talk about it, but above all she can't explain this situation and doesn't understand it very well. She is lost.

Ps : I don't know if anyone will read my analysis, but if anyone reads it, feel free to give your opinion on it, contradict me, or come and talk to me about it. It would pleasure me.

Kiss kiss

[thewickedharlot]

XOXO Poppy Park

Fans at the Monsters & Martini's street party this weekend were in for a real treat after Saturday, when Lost Chapter performed a new unreleased single as their closing song. After Poppy Park's performance following the Lost Chapter set we feel it's safe to say that Lady and the Tramp are keeping a few secrets pretty poorly.

Let's break down what we're talking about first, in case you missed it:

A few weeks ago around the legends awards show Poppy Park and Daxton Myers were both seen walking around some less than reputable parts of town together. Here begins the speculation that maybe they started talking more after Dollhouse and just didn't want to admit it? Maybe Dax tried to apologize, and Poppy heard him out, but it's already too late to make up in public for sure.

After the mess we all saw we know that Poppy is too good for him, and she probably doesn't want anyone to know about it. How embarrassing would that be for her? First she gets cheated on by Fletcher Astor who marries then Bonnie Walker within weeks of the fall out, just to follow that relationship by dating the alcoholic that literally put his hands on her on national TV? I wouldn't own it either, girl. Make better decisions, please, we're begging you.

Now, about the song and why we're so sure it's targetted at Poppy:

The lyrics of the new song touch on Poppy denying their relationship publicly - along with all the problems we know are already there.

"I kind of like the tension, that red light, green light, go away, but give me your affection. That push, that pull, that force that draws me into your direction."

Fans are reading these lyrics to suggest that Poppy's disdain for him might be all an act, that she's pushing him away in public while drawing him in once they're in private - and Daxton seems perfectly content with it and into it even if it's confusing.

"Hope you get get get the message"

It screams that this is a song for someone who wouldn't want him to openly acknowledge them in public. Any guesses who? Poppy.

"You're so fucking precious, give you all my O's and X's. Shining, roses and diamonds"

This is cute, and basically telling someone (aka Poppy) that they're precious and shining. Which is so cute, and we agree. Now stay away from her.

Not convinced yet?

Here's the thing that lines up and put the nail in the coffin for this doomed enemies to lovers situation in our opinion.

"That little white dress, that you wear cause I like it. It's so not fair, face in the break lights"

Poppy Park performed her set in a very cute, little, white dress. That's telling all on it's own, and we take the "it's not fair face in the break lights" to be Dax feeling it's not fair he can't just say all of this is about her in public. He's gotta keep the breaks on.

[ninacarstairss]

ohhh believe me i packed lots of tissues and i screamed so much!!! it was amazing!!! i still can’t put all these feelings into words. i still can’t even believe it happened. but the post concert depression is hitting so so hard now

nero, i swear, it was mind blowing. harry has this thing for italy, like we all knew that if this tour had to end (yes, if because at some point it seemed to be everlasting) it was gonna be in italy, and he was gonna go with a bang. the show was almost three hours long and he sang all of the songs from his latest album, including one that he only sang once before, and he sang some songs from his other albums that are iconic and so painful and perfect for saying goodbye. and then he sang some one direction songs, he always has one or two on the setlist but on saturday he sang those two songs and then best song ever, which he’d never ever done before and the song had just turned ten years old like two days before. i swear you could hear the moment we realized what song it was because the arena was basically imploding!!! and he talked so much in italian too because he’s been learning it for years and he said goodbye in the perfect way, made us all cry five thousand times in the span of 180 minutes and then brought out a piano at the very end and played a song he’d wrote for us. there was silence for basically the whole 11 minutes he played because i think we were all sobbing. it was really the perfect goodbye

but at the same time i cannot let it go. i’ve lived off news and videos from this tour for three years, it’s so weird to know he’s gonna disappear for a while now. again, he deserves it so much, but it’s weird.

i also spent 130 bucks on merch so now i’m always carrying around a very furry hoodie in 45 degrees weather and a tote bag. it’s my only source of serotonin at the moment

anyways back to everything else, tomorrow the heartstopper trailer drops so i’ll get more serotonin and more nick and charlie 🥹

i’d love to see you just confusing people in italian with that line 😂

yes!!! little matching outfits and a lot of pride flags!!! it would be so perfect!! i can already feel the queer joy!!! :D

oh my god give me all that angst and hurt/comfort!!! i’m a slut for those tropes!!! i’m always here for the pain. i’ll also accept anything else, really 😂 i feel like my rwrb copy needs a break and i need all kinds of fanfictions

ohhh right the big og copy!!! i forgot about that!! i have to get that actually. either that or the british collector edition because i’ve been seeing that around so much lately so now i’m like a kid when they get denied candies. i just need it. also this is gonna be me as soon as my local english bookstores decides to add the movie edition :)))) the fact that you really cradled it to the register is incredibly relatable. i am waiting for the preorders to open internationally for the french collector’s edition because i really, really want that one. and you’ll be able to get so many different editions once you’re on your semester abroad!!! your collection is going to be amazing!!

ugh then this will definitely be a great experience!!! going abroad by yourself is probably the therapy you need to erase the trauma of doing that with your family. worked for me anyway 😂 and really it’s so scary at first, but seeing new places, meeting people and making it on your own, it heals you somehow. i really can’t wait to see you do this whole thing and have the time of your life <3

also this is kind of off topic but i’ve been struggling with self discovery too lately. when i did my semester abroad i found myself, but when i came back i was so lost because this didn’t feel like my place anymore. and lately i have been wanting to leave again, i’ve been playing around with the idea of starting fresh and experimenting a bit and even just the thought of it made me feel a lot better. and last night i was at dinner with some friends and there’s this girl that is into some kind of spiritual magic, i don’t really know how to even explain it, but she can feel and see stuff, and she was reading our hands to show us how it works and she hit that point. she told me i’m very confused but i’m experimenting on a lot of levels and it’s good, it’s helping. i never told her anything about this whole deal so she couldn’t have know, and she told me a lot of other things too that were really on point. i usually don’t even believe in this stuff but it really hit the point, and i don’t know, i think it made me feel a little better. a little more valid, even. because so many people around me say it’s too risky and too late to just start fresh and move away, and that’s always scared me. with so many people saying it, i kind of started believing it

so yeah this was really off topic, sorry, i just felt like i needed to share this :’)

yes absolutely!!! you’re my beloved soulmate bestie, we have to do this, it all sounds way too good to just let it be an idea!!! and yes, you really do need to try the pastas, i’m sure you’d love them!!!

wow. if this is the sentiment now, i guess she must have been really fun at first 😂😂 YESS!! oh i am so glad that you’ll be done with this job!!! you really shouldn’t have to be in a place that drains you so much so i’m so happy it’ll be over once you go abroad!!! and is it?? can i please give you my share of paperwork then? 😂 ok but seriously, we know overthinking is kind of our problem but i hope it’ll be more therapeutic than stressful then

ohh baby 🥺🥺🥺 she is really the cutest

it sounds like a dream. having all that time and a normal sleep schedule. it really sounds like a dream :’( i’m so glad you had a night off though and just chose to relax with a movie. that’s always the best way to recharge

you know, i didn’t even know jaffa cakes existed before rwrb and when i read how obsessed henry was with them i had to run to every store to find them 😂 now i’m obsessed too and they go perfectly with tea. i’m wrapping you in a big hug and giving you a kiss on the forehead <3333

hello nero my beloved soulmate!!!

i have pride stories!!! i went to pride this saturday and it was so much fun i need to tell you all about it!!!

well first of all i really hate that i had to work in the morning because it made me so tired and it was the first weekend of sales so yea, not fun. but anyway, my friend picked me up at 3pm and we got to florence. we had to park pretty far from the meeting point and then take a bus, and it was amazing because we were totally lost looking for that bus and at some point we see a bus full of people with rainbow flags, glitter, signs, flower crowns, rainbow stickers and temporary tattoos and all of that. and we just went in, no questions asked. we just figured we’d follow them out of the bus too 😂 i love our people honestly. we were so colorful

anyway we got to the meeting point and it was deadly hot. i swear there were like 45 degrees. but it was so amazing to be around all of those people dressed in all colors and wearing all sorts of things we’d usually be judged for, it felt so safe. except that there was a religious protestor so we got to give him the finger like the heartstopper cast did :)

also my sister came with me. she’s always so supportive and it meant the world that she came with me. anyway the parade started and there were some amazing floats. there were rainbow families, drag queens, all the lgbtqia+ associations from our territory and we started walking behind this float that had amazing music, so we started dancing and singing and it was so much fun!!! we got to talking with some people, there were some amazing signs that were just perfect and i had to go there and tell them how much i loved them :) it was just so fun, i loved meeting random people and it was just the perfect environment. at night there was also a dj set and a band singing to keep the show going!!

then when we were walking back to the bus stop at night we got the whiplash of not being surrounded by queer people anymore. we got catcalled like fifteen times in the span of three minutes. i kinda wanted to punch everyone because we had such a perfect day and i hated that we had to go back to the real world where people are shit 🥲

but still i got so many amazing memories and now all i want to do is book a flight to london for next year and have you come with me so we can celebrate together and see the heartstopper cast!!!!

also, i got a new tattoo yesterday!! and i actually had red white and royal blue with me to distract me so i almost finished the book again and cried in from of my tattoo artist lol it took me the whole day again and it was so painful but so worth it!!! i got medusa on my leg 😻

also, as to our previous letter i just wanted to say that of course i believed in you!!!! i knew you could do it!! but i can definitely believe you had to close your eyes to open that message 😂 getting grades back is always so stressful!! now manifesting a spot for the exchange 🕯️🕯️🕯️ i really hope you get it!!! it’s an amazing experience, you’d definitely love it!!!

and i’m really glad you found someone who specialises in what you need. it can take a while to find the right therapist but i hope this one works out!!

(i’m also writing down sydney and melbourne for when i’m rich enough to visit 😂 i literally booked a flight for august and my bank account kinda yelled at me to stop spending money i don’t have lol)

anyways i’m really sorry i’ve been away for so long, i had a crazy week between the beginning of seasonal sales, pride and the tattoo appointment. i kinda didn’t have time to do anything 🥲

i’m giving you a hug and some homemade chocolate chip cookies with biscoff cream on top <33

hello cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

oh my god i've been so excited to hear about this!!!

that sucks you had to go to work, boo!!! but at least you were off early enough to still go to pride!!!! and how cool that you got to share the experience of going on the bus with all the queer people!! i bet there was no straight and/or cis people on that bus 😂😂😂 just follow the rainbow!!

hot days are the worst, but pride would have made it so much better. i would not be focused on how sweaty i was or the temperature with the amount of queer joy happening around me! it's so wonderful that in a parade full of people and colour that you were able to feel so incredibly safe, and it would have been such an intimate moment for you! and fuck that religious protestor, i'm so glad you gave him the finger. the heartstopper cast would be so proud of you :')

oh that warms my heart that your sister came!!! that was so nice of her to come with you!! the floats sound amazing, and the singing and dancing!!! i am feeling some of the joy through my screen!! seriously, cece, this sounds like the most incredible time. i want to cry just thinking about you having so much fun with your friend and your sister, celebrating your queerness and talking to new people and singing and dancing like there's no one else around 🥲🥲🥲

the trip home must have been so dull in comparison! and how dare those people catcall you, i hope you gave them the same treatment as that religious protestor because seriously what the fuck.

the only thing that matters now is that you had a safe and wonderful time at pride and you can cherish those memories for the rest of your life! and yes, we must do it!! i will literally stay for an extra month just to go to pride in london with you <3

oh my god yay!!! i bet the medusa tattoo looks so cool! and yes reading rwrb while getting tattooed is properly not your best idea, but i'm already rereading rwrb any chance i get to annotate it fully before the movie so i can't say much 😂

okay, cece, i must let you know, because i said to myself i would let you know as soon as i could. but this morning, i woke up (quite late actually). i checked my watch for my notifications. i see an email waiting for me. i die a little inside realising it is from the exchange team at my university. i run out to grab my phone from where i charge it. i speed past my mum. i unlock my phone. i open my email and click on the newest one. and.... I GOT A SPOT EARLY!!! AT MY FIRST UNIVERSITY TOO!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? i'm still in so much shock and i thank you for your manifesting and belief in me!!! oh my god i have so much to do before then (mostly saving money ngl 😂) but oh my god cece, i'm going to england for exchange!!!!!!

me too!! i just need to find the time to get a referral, so i can go and see them!!

(literally sydney and melbourne are lowkey expensive, but it is totally worth it!! and i would be more than happy to tell you where to go and where to stay! <3)

do not apologise!!! we are all busy! i am literally working the equivalent of a full time job over the next two weeks and i'm also dogsitting over the weekend :') pray for my poor soul.

i'm giving you the biggest hug i hope contains the same warmth as pride and i'm fighting off your customers so you can have a few moments to breathe <3333

[storiesforallfandoms]

talent that runs in the family ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2128

request?: yes!

“Being rooks sister and substitute him while he recovers and slowly start to fall in love with colson”

description: she steps in to replace her brother when he is seriously injured and ends up gaining feelings for his friend

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Thanks so much for doing this (Y/N),” Rook said over the phone. “I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said. “But does Colson know that I’m...y’know...not a seasoned vet?”

“You’ll do fine.”

I refrained from reminding him that he didn’t actually answer my question.

After Rook’s accident left him out of commission for some time, he came to me to ask if I’d fill in for him. I jumped at the opportunity. Rook had taught me how to drum when I was young and, much like my big brother, it became a passion of mine. How could I turn down working with one of the biggest artists of the year, even if it were just for a short while?

Well, my nerves were definitely telling me I should’ve said no as I walked into soundcheck that day.

“Whatever,” I said. “I’ll call you after the soundcheck.”

“Hey, don’t be nervous. You’re gonna do great.”

I said my goodbyes and hung up. I tried not to focus on how big the venue we were playing in was as I made my way to the otherwise empty stage. I thought I was the first person to arrive until I heard someone calling my name.

“(Y/N), up here!”

I looked up to see the guys sat in a booth in the balcony. Colson was all but leaning over the railing, waving for me to join them. I had no idea how to get up there on my own, but luckily a security guard showed me the way.

The guys were eating pizza and drinking from plastic cups as if they were the ones attending the concert and not performing in it.

“Pre-show ritual,” Colson told me. “Especially when we have someone new joining the band. Sit! Have a slice!”

“Shouldn’t we be practicing?” I asked, but still sat with them. I didn’t want to completely mess up my first day.

“We have hours to practice,” one of the other guys I remembered as Slim said. “And we don’t really need to. We do this every night. A soundcheck is basically just to make sure everything is working tech wise.”

I just nodded, not wanting to point out that I hadn’t been doing this every night. I hoped that I’d have some time to figure out the songs before the shows.

Colson nudged me, bringing my attention to him. “Don’t stress. You’ll do great.”

I smiled at him, wishing I’d believe him.

After our small feast of pizza and beer in plastic glasses, we finally got to our soundcheck. I was so nervous that I kept messing up during the first song. My hands were shaking and I kept hitting the wrong drum by accident. My face was burning with embarrassment as I buried it in my hands and groaned.

Colson walked up to me, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I can get this, I know I can.”

“I know you can, too,” he said. “Just take a breath, relax. We’ll try again when you’re ready. And remember, it’s just drumming. Rook says you’re great at it.”

I smiled at him and nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I pictured myself back in my bedroom from my childhood, playing my drums super loud until my parents had to call out for me to keep it down.

When we started practicing again, it went off without a hitch. We did most of the setlist all the way through and did quick takes on the last few songs before our time was up.

I was proud of myself as the soundcheck came to an end. I was still nervous about performing during the actual show, but I felt confident enough in myself not to make too many noticeable mistakes when we actually had an audience that night.

I was walking to my car when I heard someone calling for me. I turned to see Colson running to catch up with me. Or rather he was taking long strides to catch up with me considering he was so tall.

“I told you you would do great!” he said, putting an arm around my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. “It’s like drumming runs in your blood or something.”

I chuckled. “That’s what mom and dad always said too, but neither one of them can keep a beat to save their lives and no one else in our immediate family plays either.”

“You and Rook are the start of a long line of drummers then I guess.”

I shrugged in response. We both stood awkwardly for a moment. I wasn’t sure what else to say. His arm was still around my shoulder and I didn’t want to pull away and make it seem like I didn’t enjoy the contact because I definitely was not complaining about it.

I guess Colson also realized that he was still touching me, though, because he pulled his arm away and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Do you need a run to the hotel or anything?” he asked. “We have the tour bus.”

I shook my head. “I’m good, thanks. I have my car, and besides I haven’t even checked into the hotel yet so I should probably go do that.”

“Oh, yeah you definitely should. Get some rest before the show, too. It’s a lot more physically demanding when it’s an actual show, even if you’re just sitting at a drum set the entire time. I’ll see you tonight then I guess.” He turned to walk away, but paused and turned back to add, “What were you planning on wearing tonight?”

I looked at him, confused. “Uh...this I guess.”

I was wearing a hoodie and a pair baggy jeans and my most comfortable pair of sneakers.

Colson raised an eyebrow at my outfit before looking back up at me. “I mean, it’s definitely comfy, but I would recommend something a little less...well, just less. It’s going to be hot as fuck on that stage, especially with all the lights on you and shit.”

I nodded, taking note of this as I got into my car and internally panicked a little because I didn’t know if I even had anything to wear.

~~~~~~

A few hours later, after checking into my hotel room and promptly wrecking it by throwing my clothes everywhere, I was heading back down to the lobby to meet up with the guys. We were going to the show together, which would’ve been my first tour bus ride. I couldn’t lie, I was super stoked for it.

I was the last one to the lobby. All the guys were stood around, loudly talking to one another. You’d think they were just a normal group of guys and not a group about to play a sold out show in a massive arena.

Colson spotted me first. I smiled at waved at him. His eyes widened and his jaw basically dropped, which prompted all the guys to turn. Their reactions immediately matched his as they looked me up and down.

“Rook would kill you guys if he could see you right now,” I teased.

“Damn (Y/N),” Colson dared to say first. “You look...you look hot as fuck.”

I had decided on a loose muscle shirt with a bralette underneath since the shirt showed a little more than what I was used to, a pair of ripped skinny jeans, and kept on the comfortable sneakers I had been wearing earlier that day.

I giggled. “Thanks, but again, Rook would kill you for saying that. Also, it’s not anything super attractive.”

“You got a nice body,” Baze pointed out. “Anything showing it off even a little is hot.”

I could feel my face burning as I waved their comments away. “Okay, enough with this. We have a show to get to.”

We boarded the tour bus and started towards the arena. The guys were distracted amongst one another again, completely forgetting about me and my “hot outfit”. Besides Colson, who had come to sit next to me on the couch while the rest of the guys were already drinking whatever was in the mini fridge.

“Do you guys always get drunk before your shows?” I asked.

“Not always. Usually we get high,” Colson responded.

“Now that I can get behind. I’ll probably be less afraid if I’m high.”

Colson held out the joint in his hand to me. I took it and took a quick puff, the smoke immediately burning my throat and lungs as I tried to inhale it. Colson laughed as I started to cough.

“I still say you have nothing to worry about,” he told me. “You’re gonna do great tonight. You can’t even really see or hear the audience with all the lights and the inner ear pieces.”

“That’s even worse cause then I’ll just imagine how big the audience is.”

He put a hand on my leg, something I assume was just instinct for him to do to comfort someone, but the minute he made the contact I felt a jolt of electricity run through me. Colson quickly pulled his hand away and I wondered if he had felt that too.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking,” he said.

“You can if you want,” I assured him. “I wasn’t mad about it or anything.”

Colson looked at me and I realized how blue his eyes were. Rook had always made jokes about how Colson could seduce any woman with just his eyes because they were such baby blues, but I didn’t really believe him until the moment I was looking in them myself. Now I was lost, completely forgetting everyone around me as I felt myself moving closer towards him.

The bus jerked to a stop, causing Colson and I to nearly be thrown from our seats. The guys started off the bus first, running towards the entrance to the arena as I could hear the waiting fans screaming outside.

Colson stood and offered a hand to me. “It’s showtime.”

~~~~~~

After the first song went perfectly, I stopped feeling nervous. Colson was right, I couldn’t see the audience in front of me, but I could faintly hear their screams of excitement over my inner ear piece. It was weird to have it in and not only hear all of us playing, but also the crew talking backstage. It was almost distracting, but it became easy to tune them out.

During one of Colson’s talking points in the show, I reached for my water bottle to take a sip. Colson was hyping the audience up, which made me smile a little.

“Before we continue the show,” he said into his mic, “you guys may have noticed that we do not have our regular drummer tonight.”

I immediately knew what he was about to do and I wanted to hurtle my drumstick at him before he went there.

“As you’ve probably heard, Rook was in a bit of an accident and is off recovering for the time being,” he continued. “So, we decided to get some family to fill in for him for the time being. Everyone, I want to hear y’all make some noise for Rook’s little sister, (Y/N)!”

The crowd cheered loudly. Colson turned to me and waved for me to stand. I glared at him, which I hoped he could see, before standing and awkwardly smiling and waving at the audience.

“All the cool drum shit you guys have been hearing all night has been (Y/N),” Colson said as he started to approach me. “She’s a bad ass fucking drummer, and she’s a pretty fucking cool chick, too.”

I was confused where he was going with this as he came to stand next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulder the way he had earlier that day after soundcheck.

“Which is why, (Y/N), I gotta ask: will you go on a date with me sometime?”

Slight embarrassment was swelling somewhere inside of me at being asked out in such a public way, but that embarrassment was overshadowed by the fuzzy feeling of excitement inside of me. I looked up at Colson, my eyes wide and a smile on my lips.

 He lowered the mic so he could privately add, “I’m being serious. I wanna take you out on a real date. Just the two of us.”

My words were stuck in my throat, but I was able to nod in response. The smile on Colson’s face stretched so wide that I could’ve been convinced he was the one lighting the show.

“Okay,” he said, then lifted the mic to say to his audience, “Let’s get back to the show guys!”

[dabiboy]

Dad AU time! Is not angsty, pure fluff so enjoy! By the way, Kaji is more mommy's boy while Haru is more daddy's boy, yes. Get your tissues ready cause this is so soft you'll cry

Comforting their son after a nightmare

Dabi

His torso was pressed comfortably against your back, soft snores coming from his parted lips as you kept holding his hand against you. But all of that peace vanished around three am, when a terrfiying scream woke the of you.

You let go Dabi's grip and he sat on the bed, trying to connect the dots and see what the hell was happening. It came from Kaji's room, and it was in fact, him. When you came to the realization of what was happening, you got up and ran towards his room, and at identifying the scream Dabi followed you. He took a quick look inside the room to make sure there was no one there, and he moved to the living room just in case. But it was all clear.

Kaji desperate crying kept echoing in his ears, so he followed his steps back to the room. A little bit ashamed, though. He was only wearing a tank top and some shorts, what would the kid think at seeing his scarred body? He stood outside the room for a while, getting lost in his own thoughts when he heard it.

"Is daddy alwight?" Kaji asked between sobs, you were about answering when he cut you off.

"I am, clearly you're not" Dabi said walking in, and the kid, who was in your arms, lifted his blue eyes.

"There, hold him while I get him something warm"

Dabi didn't even have the time to think when the kid was already clinging to him with his life, drowned sobs were still leaving his lips.

"Hey, it's fine now. Was it a nightmare or some shit?" Dabi asked, pampering his back in weird movements, how the fuck was he supposed to calm him down? Kaji nodded  "Wanna talk about it?" And then he denied with his head "It's fine if you don't wanna talk 'bout it, but Imma need you to calm the fuck down, k'? Come on, take a deep breath"

Kaji's breath was erratic, as if he was still having that nightmare. Dabi walked out the room, and the living room was only lighted up by the light coming from the kitchen. He open the window that leaded to the balcony, cold winter window hitting both boys. Dabi hissed when Kaji digged his nails in the scarred skin of his shoulders, so carefully he grabbed his hand in order to avoid the pain, but instead, and by instinc he held it. Tight.

"Take it easy, the nightmare is over already. You home, see?" Dabi said again, sitting on the couch. He put Kaji on his thigh, using his quirk to warm up his body so the kid didn't get cold.

"They were huwting mommy, and you too. And a monster was chasing me" Kaji finally said.

"Well, that's pretty fucked up" Dabi said "But look around ya', none of that is going on"

Kaji did as said, there was only his home, some toys left on the balcony, a starry night, he was sitting on his father's lap, and his mom was getting there with a glass of warm milk. After drinking it, Kaji had asked

"Can I sleep with you?" And nor you nor Dabi had the guts to say no. So there you were, Kaji was tucked under your chin, and Dabi rested a hand on the side of Kaji's body. Shy, afraid, nervous, those were words that could describe Dabi's feelings at that point. Was that ok? Was that a way of comforting his child? Kaji's slow breathing told him so.

"Dad? What if I dream the same again?"

"I'll be here if it happens, you can count on it"

Resting his head on his hand, Dabi ruffled the little's boy head, so he could put his hand back were it was, this time on Kaji's shoulder, watching his sleep during the rest of night. Fuck, that human had got to his heart deeper than he thought.

Hawks

That bed was more like a nest than a bed. Messy sheets and blankets were all over the bed, Keigo was sleeping on his stomach with his wings spread all over the bed, just one leg up and his arm was above your stomach. It didn't matter how, he needed to touch you during the night, at least your pinkies intertwined, it made him feel home, safe, and calm. However, there was someone who was feeling all the opposite. A loud scream woke the of you, and you as you sat on the bed, some feathers opened the door and moved as fast as possible to all the windows, balcony, living room, everywhere. Just to see if there was an intruder, or something similar. Those were Hawks basic instincts, because he was standing up when the feathers finished their job. The two of you rushed to Haru's room, where the cry had came from. And there he was, sitting on the bed while wild tears were escaping his eyes.

"Chicken wing? Hey, it's alright, it's alright" Hawks said, picking him up immediatly, and of course the kid clinged to him tightly as ever. "Daddy's got you, k'?" He said in a soft voice.

"I had an ugly dream" Haru said, sniffing on Keigo's neck.

You turned on the lamp on the nightstand, and there were feathers spread all over, some of them even on the curtains. You walked towards the two boys and kissed Haru's scalpe as he was still on Keigo's arm.

"We're here, baby" you said too, wanting to making him feel safe.

Hawks sat on Haru's bed while you went to grabbed some clean pj's since the one that he was wearing was all sweaty. It must have been a terrible nightmare, you thought.

"Someone was twaking my feathers" He sobbed "and you were hurt, and mommy was being hurt too"

Hawks heart clenched. He had had that same dream over and over again, losing his wings, losing you, losing him, damn. If it was painful for him, he didn't even want to think in Haru's fear.

"But hey, we're good, we're all good, right angel?" He asked you, and you sat next to them so you could change Haru's clothes while Keigo was still comforting him "and your wings are all right, you lost some feathers because they fell sometimes, there are days in which my bed is full of them" Keigo laughed and kissed his temple. "Arms up" he said so you could change the shirt this time. "See? There's nothing to be afraid now, lil man. Even cucumber's here" he grabbed the plushie and handed it to him.

"Wanna try and sleep again?" You asked, rubbing his back.

"Can I sleep with you" Haru looked at both, first at Keigo and then at you. How the hell could you say no?

Once back in your bed, Haru clinged to Hawks again, and the bigger bird didn't seem to be bothered, on the contrary. He was rubbing Haru's back tenderly. And then you remembered when you first told him you were pregnant "I don't know if... Shit, I need to take some air" he had said. Unsure, scared, confused. But now? There he was, humming a random song while scratching his son's head.

"Dad?" Hawks hummed in answer "what if the monsters come back? I don't... I don't wanna be afwaid, cause you're never afwaid"

"I'll fight with them with my own hands, promise" a kiss on his forehead "and I get scared lots of times too, chicken wing. But guess what, you can only be brave if you're a little scared"

Haru's breathing became more and more relaxed, his father's word were always like home to him. Minutes moved slow, and you were starting to fall asleep when something pulled you closer to Haru, making you jump in surprise.

"You were too far" Hawks said with his eyes closed. He had used one of his wings to pull you closer.

"G'night mommy, g'night daddy"

"Night, swertheart" you kissed the back of his head.

"G'night my chicken wing" Hawks replied. It was going to be a cuddly night for the three of you. And that? That was perfect.

[nightfall-kachiniko]

requesting really any angst with the aot girls 😭 just need some angst i will take any go nuts

ASK FOR ANGST AND YOU SHALL RECIEVE

「 AOT Girls (+hanji) reacting to you dying in their arms 」

Paring : Mikasa x reader, Annie x reader, Pieck x reader, Hanji (she/they) x reader

~ 「 I suggest you listen to this song while reading for a more emotional experience (if you’re in the mood to cry lmao) 」 ~

She cant believe her eyes. All that she can think of is how bad she failed you as you laid in her arms, blooding spilling out your mouth and head. Your arms and legs were gashed in big marks, as you felt the world before you slowly cave in.

“Y/N PLEASE!” Mikasa cried out, holding your hand. You tried to give her a small smile. “PLEASE DONT PLEASE JUST STAY PLEASE!” The woman cried hugging you. “I-I Am so sorry..” she gasped in between her tears, profusely apologizing at not being able to save you.

“you remember when we were kids?” You softly said, looking back on the memories, “Y/N P-PLEASE….p-please… please don’t leave me please please..” her sons became whispers, unable to control her emotions. “When we used to run around like animals,” you softly chuckled. You looked up at the weeping woman that was ontop of you. Slowly reaching out your arm, you placed it on her cheek, “I love you..” you confessed.

“my love..please..” Mikasa cried, her words begging like a prayer. She hiccuped as she grabbed your hand tighter, holding it. “We’ll meet again, I promise.” You said, accepting your fate. “No no.. no! Please y/n just wait a little longer please!” The Raven haired woman cried. “I love you, so much mika,”

“P-please.. please…” she whispered as you kissed her. “Another life my dear,” tears streamed down your cheeks at the sight of the end of you. “Forever and always Mikasa, I’ll always love you..” Mikasa hugged your frail body tighter her teeth gritting as her heart basically pumped out of her chest. “I love.. you to..” she said, holding back anymore tears. “I’ll.. see you.. later…” and as with your final words you took your last breath as the world faded forever around you. “Y/n.. honey..” she said, “y/n..” Mikasa tried shaking you but to no avail.

She weeped as she held your body, screaming at the top of her lungs as she cried. That’s all she could do, for her lover was gone. ‘Another life, we’ll meet again,’ was the words that lingered in her head. She still couldn’t accept the fate of her lover, the one of death.

Zipping through the trees as she rushed over to you, not giving a shit about the titan that just ate another one of your comrades. Annie scrambled to your body as it hit the floor of the forest, blood rushing out of your head as your stomach had been impaled, gash next to your heart and she knew, you weren’t going to make it.

“Y/N!” she screamed coming down from the trees. The sky up above was all you could stare at. You couldn’t move, your body almost on the state of paralysis. “Y/n!” Annie ran to you, kneeling at your side. Your wounds were bad, injuries that even the best doctor in Marley couldn’t even fix. “Honey.. honey hey!” She said, grabbing your hand, “it’s gonna be okay,” the blonde said, tears welting up in her eyes. “A-ah…” you groaned out in pain.

Annie dug through her bag, her hands shaky and panicked, trying to find bandages. “Shit,” she panted as she hurried to take off her jacket. She placed her jacket on your gash, pushing down hard, trying to stop the bleeding. But it just wouldn’t work, blood kept seeping through it, and the now blood soaked jacket was no use.

“annie..” you tried calling out to her as she dug through her bag again, trying to find something, anything, to help. “Annie… hey..” you saw the way she was worried, her panicked expression and tear filled eyes giving you no sign of hope. “W-WHAT!” She yelled at you, jolting her head towards you. “It’s okay..” you tried to give her a reassuring smile, softly trying to grasp her hand but due to your injuries to no effort.

“I- I JUST NEED TO APPLY PRESSURE I-!” you interrupted her unnerved yelling. “It’s okay.. you cant do anything about it …” you tried saying to her. “N-NO! DAMNIT I JUST NEED SOMETHING! ANYTHING!”

“Annie, love..” Your girlfriend broke down crying into her palms, her tears everlasting and her face a bright pink from crying so much. “I’m glad I got to call you my girlfriend..” you lazily smiled, “NO DON’T YOU FUCKING GIVE UP YET!” The blonde screamed at you, tears soaring down her face. “ WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST STAY NEAR ME I COULD’VE…I…”

She wanted to curl up into a ball and die along side you there. She knew she couldn’t do a thing about your fate, and now that it’s approaching sooner than the breaths you take she couldn’t accept it. “You mean the world to me… you know that..?” You told Annie. She tightly grasped onto your hand, holding it close to her face and kissing your fist, sobbing hysterically. “Y/n please you’re my only reason of living..” she whispered, trying to catch her breath. “You’ve got a purpose, more than me.. okay..?” Tears of your own rolled down your cheeks.

“You’re not a lost girl, annie, you’ll find your way..”

Eren jeager’s first attack on Marley at Willy’s speech was a shock to everyone. The chaos all around you had suffered long and far as the titans began their fight, punching, kicking. Laura Tyburs titan emerging and Eren jeager eating it. Your body laid lifelessly on the road. Lights soaring up ahead of you as the sound of ‘three dimensional Maneuver gear’ flew past.

Pieck saw you on the ground, her eyes scared and filled with terror. “POCK! GO KILL EREN!” She demanded, screaming as her titan form hurried to you. Pieck stopped with a thud as she emerged from her titan, seeing you on the ground.

“LOVE!” She screamed at you, her fingers near your neck checking your pulse. “Mmm..” you moaned in pain, as your tired eyes scanned the blurry vision infront of you. “I- I NEED TO GET YOU TO SAFETY I-!” She panicked as she saw one of the scouts fly above you both. Her gaze worried as she tried to lift you up.

“Pieck..”you said. “I- I HAVE TO GET YOU TO A DOCTOR I-!” “Why are you.. yelling..” you said in confusion. Blood trickled down her hands that laid under your back as she picked you up onto her lap. “What’s..happening…?” You said, unknowingly. “I-I’m scared…” you managed to get out in between gasps of air.

“I-it…” The woman stopped in her tracks, “d-dont be scared y/n.. I promise everything’s gonna be okay we”re going to get you to a doctor and they’ll take care of you and by tonight we’ll be in bed together cuddling-“

“I don’t think I’ll make it till tonight..” your tired voice said. “It’s okay though.. I just wanna spend right now.. with y-you…” Tears fell heavily down Pieck’s face as she kissed your cheek, gritting her teeth trying to not make you panic. “No no baby you will, you will I promise love!” She said, brushing your hair with her hands. “PIECK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” A man running up to Pieck in Marley’s military uniform screamed at her. “GO GET A DOCTOR!” She yelled back, holding your hand tightly. “IT’S Y/N! PLEASE JUST GET HER HELP!”

you groaned in pain, your hands becoming numb as your vision faded from dark to light. “Pieck.. Thank you..” She jolted her head towards you, terror written all over her face. She saw how you lost that glimmer, that spark in your eyes. “W-what y-y/n baby please..” she said desperately.

“I don’t feel anything Pieck,” You said to her. “Y/n we’re getting you help I-I promise!” She wiped her tears. “You know I’ll see you again lovely..” Pieck looked at you in horror, “no love.. no please just hold on.. please,” she cried, her body shaking over yours. Tears falling down onto your wound. “I remember our first date…and I was so awkward….and I fell over with the drinks.. and even the waiter laughed” you recalled, trying to remember happier times.

“Y/n.. oh sweetie oh..” she held her mouth as she sobbed, hysterical. “You know.. you were the best girlfriend I could ask for… peck peck..” calling her by her nickname. “I love you…”

“Please don’t go..” Pieck cried. “Please.. please..y/n… please..”

“How lucky I am… to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard…” You whispered. “Forever.. My Pieck..”

The ground below the section commander scattered with blood.

The titans surrounding the entire wall, trapping you all. The mission to retake wall Maria has failed. Almost all the horses had been crushed. Rock flew in Hanji’s way as they braced themself for impact. In the distance your ODM gear worked faulty and you fell halfway down the wall, rock hitting you as it smashed into your body and then into the wall, inches behind you. You harshly hit the ground, landing on your side. Rock blasted in your rib cage as you screamed in pain. And for a moment your vision blurred and you blacked out.

“Y/N! Y/N!” you heard your lover screaming at you, shaking your body. You slowly opened your eyes to be greeted by Hanji, their eyes watery and filled with tears as they wrapped bandages around your wound. “h-hanji…” you managed to get out, as you looked up at her, their glasses broken and their eye bleeding swell.

She wrapped the bandages around your bleeding wounds as they cried. “Honey..?” You looked at hanji as they looked back. “I did good..right?” You asked her. Hanji gritted their teeth “ no you’re not leaving just yet! I’ll be damned if you do!” They replied fiercely. “Hanji… but I think I’m ready..”

“NO GODDAMNIT!” she snapped at you, their eyes deranged and red, tears still flowing down them. They punches the floor as they gave up in frustration, begging to full on weep. “Baby..” you said, saddened by hanjis expression. “I’ll be okay.. I swear… no matter what..”

“Why Couldnt Erwin just let you stay home!” She cried, gripping their chest as if they were gasping for air. “Hanji.. I promise..” you said to her, blood trickling out your mouth as your eyes lazily focused on the person in front of you, weeping about your soon to be fate. “I had fun..” you said to yourself. “I met you… I love you Hanji..” you said to them.

They looked at you, pain in their eyes as they tightly hugged you, pulling you into their arms. She sat you on top of her lap, hugging your numb body. Blood scattering all over her clothes. You buried your head into their shoulder as they petted your hair, sobbing. “I’m so glad we were put here at the same time.. aren’t you.. my crazy scientist…?”

Hanji couldn’t speak. The feeling of the loss of you overbares them. They couldn’t say anything. They just cried into you, absorbing the last few seconds you have with them. “I love you so fucking much y/n.. I love you… I love you… I love you.. I love you..” they kept repeating, kissing your cheek as they said. “P-please don’t leave me please..”

“I’m never gonna leave you…” you said to her, “I’ll always be right here,” you said, putting your fist to Hanji’s heart.

“I offered my heart….right section commander…?” You asked as they gritted their teeth, trying to not scream from crying. “Please Hanji.. I did good right…?”

“You did… amazing….you gave it your all..” She said,replying to you. “I love you…” they cried.

“I love you more..”

➪ Kachiniko ||♡︎ My Blog ♥︎ || ☾What I write ☽ 08/02/21

[eligaxy]

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

-

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

[mcheang]

In another’s eyes

Inspired by https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13849241/1/Signed-Gifts

Basically Adrien finds Marinette’s signature on his blue scarf and connects the dots.

Adrien is hurt that Marinette let him believe his father gave him the scarf. He understands why but it hurts worse after all this time thinking his father finally gave him something new. It’s having new hopes crushed

He visits Marinette and gently confronts her over it, chiding her to tell him the truth next time instead of letting him believe a lie.

Frantic, Marinette wildly points out that he lets their classmates believe in Lila’s wild promises. How is she any different from him?

Pause.

Adrien never really thought about it that way. He just wanted his classmates to be happy. But if he told them the truth, they would be sad and Lila would also be angry at him and probably akumatized.

If he kept the truth from them, then wasn’t he being a hypocrite?

Marinette worried she said something she could never take back. “Adrien...”

He held up a hand, needing to think.

What was the Chinese saying again? “Do not do unto others what you don’t want others do unto you.”-Confucius

Well, Adrien wasn’t one to deny an ancient philosopher’s wisdom.

Adrien: no, you’re right, Marinette. I’m a hypocrite for scolding you for something I’ve done as well

Marinette: you haven’t-

Adrien: but i have. Please don’t sugarcoat this, Marinette. Don’t try to spare my feelings when the truth is more important.

Marinette was nervous and predictably, she rambled. “Well, if you are planning to expose Lila, you would also be in trouble because while i constantly doubted her trip to Achu, you were aware of her playing truant.”

Adrien paused and took a breath. “I know. And I’ll accept my due punishment. But what matters is making things right. We need to tell everyone that Lila is a liar.”

Marinette: but how? They don’t believe me. And who knows if they’ll believe you!”

Adrien frowned, thinking again. “Don’t you have Jagged’s number?”

Marinette: Yup. I barely got him to cease suing Alya’s Ladyblog for Lila’s interview. He doesn’t really follow her anymore.

Adrien: do you think he’ll help us expose Lila?

Marinette: we can ask. But I think it’s a safe bet. The only reason he didn’t go after Lila herself was because she up and vanished after turning into Volpina.

Jagged was thrilled to sic Fang on Lila

Marinette: we said expose! Not kill

Jagged: I never feed Fang rotten food. He’ll just sit on her or chase her up a tree

Adrien: thank you. I’m just worried Lila will be akumatized again, though. The last time, Ladybug chewed her out for claiming to be BFFs; though after hearing Lila pronounce herself a better self-proclaimed heroine, it’s not that hard to see why Ladybug was angry (Adrien may have been upset with Ladybug but I imagine he would try to justify her behavior later. seriously, who wouldn’t be angry after hearing Lila insult her like that? He’s not very sensitive to others’ emotions)

Jagged: you can’t keep everybody happy. And sometimes you shouldn’t. Some people don’t deserve to be coddled. And besides, once the witch is exposed, who is to say the others won’t be akumatized?

Adrien paled. He didn’t consider that.

Marinette: well, we could try to keep an eye out for akumas. And maybe even get the heroes to stand guard?

Adrien: good idea. But how to contact them?

Marinette: leave it to me. I’ve seen the heroes jump on rooftops plenty from my balcony.

Jagged: just say the word and set the date, and your uncle Jagged will be there faster than you can say “Croc”

Marinette soon called Adrien and Jagged to tell them that Ladybug would be happy to stand by and even offer her own testimony that she is so not friends with Lila.

However, after hearing how Lila framed Marinette, Ladybug wanted Marinette absent in case Lila blamed her for Jagged exposing her.

Jagged: well, she’s not totally wrong.

Marinette: uncle Jagged!

Jagged: what, you did call me for this.

On the day of Lila’s downfall, school had just ended and students started heading home. Marinette was one of the first, having to work at the bakery. Chloé and Sabrina also left, not bothering to stay around and chat with the peasants.

To the lingering students’ surprise, a popular and familiar rock song began blasting into the air as a tour bus drove up to the school.

Jagged: hello Dupont College! Are you ready to rock!

Students crowded up and screamed.

Lila paled and could not escape the gravity of the crowd.

Jagged: now where’s my guitar? Fang, if you don’t mind?

Fang waddled up, guitar on his back.

Jagged: now Fang’s been with me since he hatched from an egg. And he’s the best pet a rocker could ask for.

Alya: what about your cat?

Jagged: cat? Since when did I own a cat?

Alya: but Lila said-

Jagged: who? Sorry miss, but I think you must have confused me with someone else.

A pause for the class as Jagged started playing a guitar riff.

While the crowd cheered, the class stared at Lila.

Lila: he doesn’t like his kitten to be brought up

Ivan: he doesn’t even know you

Lila: he does! Right, Adrien?

Lila glared at him meaningfully. But Adrien ignored her and just sang along. He promised to maintain a guise of friendship, but no more lies. Though if Lila was exposed, maybe their deal could be considered pointless now. Still...better not to antagonise her so openly.

Nino: you’re asking the wrong person. The only other people in class who can get close to Jagged are Chloé (same hotel) and...Marinette. That’s how she knew you were a liar!

Jagged: hey, what’s going on over there?

The student body turned to stare, annoyed at the interruption.

Aware of unwanted scrutiny, Alya quickly said, “oh, we were just having a priority one class meeting. Sorry! We’ll keep it down.”

The class dragged Lila off, and Ladybug secretly followed. Adrien reluctantly did so too.

Surrounded, Lila could not run away, so she burst into fake tears.

Lila: why are you being so mean?

Mylène: do you think her tears are real?

Kim snorted. “Doubtful. But I don’t think she’s worth bothering about anymore.”

Alya: what? She lied!

Kim: and we believed a con artist. But unless we lost a lot of money or whatever, what’s the point of doing this?

True. While Lila had promised favors, that didn’t mean the class had stop working hard on their own. And Alya’s credibility was also her fault for not checking her sources and getting more proof.

Alya huffed. “Fine! But she just gets away scot free?”

Max: unlikely. There is the matter of forging doctor’s letter and skipping school.

Lila: you can’t prove that!

Alya: I can just call your mother right now.

Lila: and tell her that you’re bullying me?

Alya: no, we are just going to ask her some questions. And if she was duped by you, too, I don’t think she can deny the truth if we walk up to her office and make a scene.

Adrien: is that really necessary?

Alya: Mrs Rossi must really believe her daughter. She may think us all bullies if we expose Lila but the presence of her colleagues will influence her. Besides, our questions are simple. Was Lila really sick? Was she at Achu?

The class dragged Lila to the embassy and made such a ruckus that Mrs Rossi came out, especially when she saw her daughter in the center of it all, yelling at them to be quiet.

Mrs Rossi was angry but answered their questions that Lila had never been sick or to Achu while Alya filmed her. But there was the akuma plague. At this, the class told her the truth and even her observing colleagues backed them up.

Lila was distraught. Where was the freaking akuma?

Ladybug was lounging on the roof, her yo-yo stuffed with butterflies. As long as she didn’t use her lucky charm, she was in no danger of detransforming.

When Adrien didn’t back Lila, she told everyone he knew she was a liar.

Adrien admits his faults and realized his lesson now. The class knew why Marinette kept the scarf secret so they could sort of understand why he wanted to keep everybody happy. He also was the one who got Marinette back into school, so they forgave him.

Lila was expelled once Damocles saw the footage and Mrs Rossi confirmed it.

Lila was sent to boarding school instead where everyone knew she was a compulsive liar. Nobody took her seriously there.

As for Adrien, he was always determined to hear the blunt truth, tired of being sheltered.

[honeyatsu]

Loner (Junpei x F!Reader)

Reader implied POC! but ofc anyone can read <3

warnings: none that I can think of

Summary: 

Junpei was suspicious of you. He always felt the world was filled with people who were naturally evil in some way, until you came into his life and challenged his theory.

masterlist

Spotify playlist - all the songs I listened to helping me write this story. lmao and songs that helped inspire some parts. Think of it as an unorganized soundtrack. 

AO3

a/n: Hiii. He deserved better. I was rewatching and got mad all over again. The first time I saw his character arch I almost threw the whole show away lmfao but I can’t wait to continue the manga during summer! There wasn’t enough content so I decided to make some. 

The familiar dark marble floors were all Junpei would keep his eyes on as he walked to his next class, the chatter of his fellow classmates bouncing around the walls acting as background noise he would attempt to mentally cancel out. Junpei didn’t bother to look anyone in the eye, it’s not as if he had anyone to look forward to seeing anyways truthfully. High school was supposed to be a place where the best memories were made, but Junpei couldn’t relate to those empty promises of those being his best years. Everyday feeling as if there was a target on his back for his unfriendly peers; he would do his best to hide within the shadows he felt comfortable in, doing his best to make himself as invisible as possible. His only goal was being to survive the day without being bothersome to others.

Just as before, staring at the ground and ignoring the chatter going on in the classroom he made his way to the conjoined desk in the back of the room. He sat on the desk and began pulling out the material, his first time raising his head during the day to scan the room, everyone but one other person having a sitting partner. It didn’t sting him that he was sitting alone, that’s how things usually went for him. He was either alone or ostracized, finding being alone the better option of the two.

As the teacher began to lecture about the importance of being prepared for the advanced chemistry class, Junpei began to scribble down in his notebook taking notes already. His eyes didn’t leave his notepad until he heard the large bang of the classroom door hitting the wall.

“I’m sorry for being late!” you screamed while bowing to the class, panting and catching your breath with your hands now holding on to your knees. It was easy to tell that you ran to class and still managed to be notably late.

The teachers rolled her eyes at you, unfazed by your obnoxious entrance in the classroom. “Just choose a seat.” She scowled before returning to the beginnings of her lecture.

Your eyes scanned the room before you noticed the empty spot in the combined desk in the back, you didn’t even look at the person who would be sitting beside you, you just knew you wanted the desk farthest away from the front to prevent being called on during class.

Junpei on the other hand cursed himself as he saw you rush to the seat next to him; he knew that the seat was your target as soon as he noticed your eyes land on it. He recognized who you were, he knew who your friends were. Why would you sit next to him? What was your plan, to mock him? His heart was beating rapidly the closer you got, his palms began sweating. He doesn’t know if he can manage being picked on in class, he has never had a personal interaction with you but what made you different from your friends?

You rushed your way to your seat and began to drag the items from your bag onto the desk. Your elbow accidentally bumped into the classmate next to you, the physical action causing a small yelp from the boy. You finally turn to see him, the first thing you noticed were his eyes, they were the kind of green that would kiss over the ground during the beginning of spring time, probably the prettiest green eyes you’ve ever seen. His hair was brown and reached his shoulders, with one bang large enough to cover the right side of his face. You were too enchanted by his appearance that it took you a while to see how uncomfortable he was. His body was slightly trembling as your elbow was still making physical contact with him, his eyes slightly widened, he wasn’t even trying to hide how uncomfortable he was with the accidental physical reaction along with you staring at him as if he had three heads.

“Sorry.” You whispered to him removing your elbow from his side and looking down at your stationary materials, organizing them on the desk. From the corner of your eyes you can see him looking down at his desk, his body was stiff, and you could tell he was still uncomfortable. “If me sitting here bothers you, I’ll move…. it’s just this is a hard class and I don’t want to be called on all the time and embarrass myself.” You turn to face him and see that he still isn’t looking at you. “But please put up with me. I promise I won’t distract you.”

His eyes perked up while hearing your last sentence, he didn’t expect you to have such a kind and sincere tone. He finally brought his head up, slighting turning his head to face you. He couldn’t point out where he’s seen eyes like yours before, and he saw the small smile formed on your lips. People have smiled at him before and he can usually tell how people are feeling by looking at their eyes. He was good at reading people, he had to be just to survive. But he couldn’t read you, he couldn’t tell how you were feeling towards him. He doesn’t remember the last time someone showed him any sort of sincerity.

“No…it’s fine. You can sit here.” He managed to whisper out while looking back down scribbling down some notes.

Fifteen minutes went by, the class slowly dragging out and it being harder to focus. Junpei’s head was starting to feel heavy, he didn’t regain complete focus until he noticed the ink getting lighter on his notebook. He scribbled fast and hard, trying to get ink out before realizing it was completely dry. He cursed himself in his head, his day just starting and already something had to go wrong. Hearing the sound of rough scribbling on the paper your eyes darted to his side, seeing the pen drag only putting scratches on the sheet.

His head turned towards you out of curiosity, hearing the aggressive rustling from you digging in your bag. Your eyes focused and face scrunched up in concentration, your tongue slightly sticking out. He wanted to think you were cute, but he knew who your friends were, and that group was anything but cute. While he was deep in thought about how unfortunate it was that he already knew the type of person you were by your crowd, he almost missed the sense of accomplishment displayed on your face as you pulled out a packet of glitter pens. Your smile grew as you turned to him, realizing he was already looking at you. You were satisfied with the first instance of eye contact with your desk mate. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks; he didn’t need a mirror to know the red hues were forming on his face embarrassed with getting caught staring at you.

“These are my favorite pens.” You whispered to him, still looking at him not caring that he looked away for a second. “I only share these with my friends.” His eyes grew wide, were you going to rub in his face that his pen went out on him? What kind of teasing was this, for you to make fun of something so small? He was appalled that he knew he was right, you sat next to him just to -

“So, lets be good friends, okay?” You cut off his train of thought as you placed a dark blue glitter pen on his desk. He slowly turned to you, seeing the same smile on your face from earlier, the same smile he couldn’t quite read.

He nodded back at you nervously, his hands shaking as he grabbed the pen you placed onto his side of the desk. You nodded to him as you returned to focusing on the lesson, knowing his nod was his way of saying ‘thank you’ without speaking.

Junpei had trouble focusing on the rest of the lesson, hands still shaking while using the pen you let him borrow.

                  ---------------------------------------------------------

Your body ached as you dragged yourself out of the school grounds. Cheer club just ended, and you were exhausted from learning the basics of it considering this would be your first time being in the cheer club. The sun was out still, slowly going down making the sky a mix of yellow, orange and red. The only thing you could think about was going home and hoping that your mom had left over food from the dinner the other day.

While walking to the direction of your house you noticed a boy with a slender build a few feet away from you, and once you saw the long bang you grew excited, recognizing him as the boy you sat next to in class. All the energy you lost regained quickly as you ran up to your new friend. “Hey!” You screamed as you ran into his back, tripping on the cracked ground while making your way towards him. You held on to his sides to prevent you from falling, his body tensed up at the sudden contact and you screaming at him.

His heart dropped, he thought he was able to go an entire day without being picked on. He was confused, he didn’t think you’d bother him too. He made sure to not get in anyways way today, he just wanted a day where he could be in the background and be left alone, but at the last moment of him being on his way home you appeared out of nowhere and ran into him. Were you trying to push him down? Did you get angry he never gave the pen back? Were you being kind to trick him before you finally got to pick on him like the rest of your friends?

“I’m sorry!” You squealed out. You removed your hands from his back and walked towards him, giving him a tired smile.

You apologized for hitting him, why did you apologize?

“Didn’t mean to run into you! I just left my club and saw you walking, I wanted to say hi. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, again.” You laughed out awkwardly. Junpei gave you a confused look. He was suspicious of you, what did you want from him for you to constantly acknowledge him unprovoked? Sure, he’ll let go of the class interaction. You guys were desk mates, you were probably being cordial. You lend him your pen because you noticed his ran out, unlike your friends you at least had common decency. But why would you come up to him outside of class? What could you possibly gain from talking to him outside of having to?

The pen. Once he remembered he never gave it back, he retrieved it from his pocket and brought it out, extending his hand out to give it to you. “I-I never said thank you. Here, you can have it back.”

Once you saw what he was trying to do you laughed at his actions, “I gave it to you silly. It’s yours to keep! I mean we’re friends after all, right?”

His breathe got caught in his throat, he felt unable to respond. He tried to find any signs of malice in your face but couldn’t find anything.

“Oh, right. I sound funny declaring friendship when I don’t even think I’ve given you my name! I’m y/n.” You said with a smile.

For the first time, he returned it back to you softly. “Junpei.”

You opened your mouth to say something back, but your next sentence was disrupted with a loud growl from your stomach. Your eyes widened in embarrassment as your squealed and brought your arms to your side, squeezing your stomach.

“Sorry!” you said quickly, “I just left my club. It was a lot of work today, my body is exhausted and I’m starved.”

Junpei laughed at your reaction, you smiled realizing you got another first from him today.

“Hey Junpei, are you busy?”

“Uhm, I was just going to walk home now…” he replied back to you softly.

“How about we get some ramen! I know this great place not too far from school. I was gonna eat at home, but there probably isn’t food anyways. And you’re here so I don’t gotta go alone! You’ll love it I promise, it’s so good.” You continued to ramble on. You didn’t even give Junpei a chance to respond to you before you grabbed his wrist and dragged him along to the direction of the ramen restaurant. You were walking in front of him as he was being dragged behind you, you were holding onto his wrist the entire way there. He was glad you didn’t get a chance to see his flustered face the entire way there.

        ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re seriously not going to finish?” Your voice was muffled due to your cheeks being stuffed with the food in your mouth. It was hard not to stare at you while you were eating, he’s never seen a girl eat so aggressively or fast. You took a big swallow of the remaining food in your mouth, his eyes grew wide noticing your bowl, completely empty. “How embarrassing, I’m done already.” You whined out noticing his bowl looking as if its barley been touched.

“I don’t eat much.”

“I guess I should have asked if you had an appetite before I invited you. All I did was embarrass myself.” You sighed as you leaned back in your booth, rubbing your bloated stomach for comfort.

“I-it’s okay! Um, I’m…sorry?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered expression, “You’re real funny, you know?” You took out your phone and whined as you noticed how late it was getting. “It’s getting so late and I totally forgot I had chores! My moms gonna kill me!” You hurriedly got up and grabbed your school bag.

Before you walked away you turned to Junpei, “I hope we do something like this again one day.” And with that being the last thing you said, you ran out of the restaurant and headed your way home.

Junpei was in his head the entire way home. This by far had to be the most confusing school day he’s had. He tried not so hard to think about the classroom interaction, but then you basically forced him to hang out with you after school hours. Friends weren’t something Junpei had a lot of, he grew up being bullied and it followed him even at the age of seventeen. Outside of his few club members, he didn’t really talk to anyone let alone see them after school.

He’s seen you around before, you were pretty popular. You were always surrounded by friends; he can’t say he was fond of any of them. You declared him as your friend, but didn’t you know what your friends did to him? He couldn’t tell if you were genuine, and he wasn’t ready to let his guard down yet. This was too suspicious for him.

All he had on you so far was:

You were very peculiar, your aura screamed kindness but it could be too good to be true. He had just met you after all.

You had a problem with being on time.

Him being in his head made his walk home seem quicker than it usually was, time flew by as he was mentally theorizing who you were as a person and what was your plan with him. He didn’t even hear his mother greet him as he walked in, asking if he was hungry and ready to eat.

“Junpei? Are you not going to eat?”

“Hm?” He finally looked up from the ground facing his mom. “Oh, no. Sorry. I didn’t tell you I went out to eat after school. With a….friend.”

next

[astridthevalkyrie]

summer rain: chapter 4

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Chapter 3, Chapter 5

i have finally found the two perfect songs for this series and that’s everytime by chen & punch and talk love by k. will so go give those a listen because damn if it isn’t these two idiots.

anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Nothing is right anymore, and yet people are so quick to adapt to any sense of normalcy they can. It’s marveling to watch how, in two measly days, the refugees have quieted down and stopped fighting for food. Stopped fighting, period. Now they seek comfort in one another, a sense of camaraderie in knowing that they’ve all gone through the same thing. And holy hells are there a lot of them.

Because soon after Shiganshina was torn through because of the monster they were calling the Colossal Titan, Wall Maria itself fell. Ploughed straight through by something called the Armored Titan as though it was made of feathers. The refugees here are safe - for now - but there are countless of people who weren’t lucky enough to get behind Wall Rose, and they’re out there dying right about now. No one knows if Rose is going to hold either. No one knows anything. So with the kinsmanship comes a heavy pretense of safety, in which everyone ignores how scared they are in favor of counting themselves lucky that they get to live even a single day longer.

You’re doing what you can. Obeying orders without so much as a single complaint. Of course all rations are to be given to the refugees, so you’ve only had one eighth of a potato in the past twenty four hours, but it’s better than nothing. For once, you can’t find any fault with your situation, because no matter how terrible or hungry or scared you’re feeling, there is undoubtedly someone feeling worse.

Such as Ricky.

His mother and old sister managed to get to the boats. His father and younger sister weren’t so lucky.

The two of you had been stationed inside the base together, to watch and hand out resources to the refugees, but you’d immediately taken full responsibility and told Ricky to stay with his family. He’d pulled you into a bone-crushing hug and ran off, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Unfortunately, they’re pretty unpleasant.

Captain Erwin Smith is famed for bringing home soldiers who are still alive. That and Levi’s raw skill with his ODM gear makes you hopeful enough that he’s alive, so you try not to think of him. Frankly, it’s selfish to worry about a single person when there’s so many people at risk, so you bury the troublesome thoughts and focus on your job.

The Garrison has done a good enough job with the resources they have, but the Military Police’s presence is aggravating more than anything. They’re here to keep order, not to keep people safe, and everyone knows it. You wonder if your mother would prefer if you joined with these bastards instead of the choice you’ve made for yourself.

There you go again, being selfish. It’s always been about your life, and your absolute disdain for boredom. Out there, good people are laying down their lives. And you? You enlisted in the Training Corp as some form of self-fulfillment. It’s the first time you’re feeling this overwhelming guilt, as you realize just how ignorant your point of view is. You’ve never even so much as seen a titan, and yet you fancy yourself a soldier.

What a stupid girl you’ve been.

A tug on your uniform makes you snap out of your thoughts, and you look down to see a small girl with black hair wrapped in a scarf that’s too big on her. You blink, and try your best to smile reassuringly.

“Hey. You need something?”

The girl’s voice is quiet, soft, as though she’s trying her best not to be a bother. “They said you were giving out blankets here. May I have four of them, please?”

You nod, leaning down to check the crate by your feet. Unfortunately, you’d been swarmed by people asking for blankets just a few minutes earlier, and you’re just one short of how many the girl needs.

“I only have three left,” you begin apologetically, biting your lip, “but wait here, I’ll go check with someone else.” But you know that’ll be pointless, all the other stations have probably run out too, and if they haven’t, they’re saving for themselves. Calling them out won’t make them give it to you, that much is for sure.

Even the little girl seems to know that much. She shakes her head, taking the three blankets you offer her. “It’s alright. Three is enough. I’ll give them to the others.”

You frown. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter much. But you know that you would hardly be so selfless in the same situation. Hell, you would have wanted two blankets to yourself - these thin sheets are only going to do the bare minimum to keep people warm. The girl piques your curiosity.

“What’s your name?”

She hesitates for a second, then says, “Mikasa.”

You hum as though you’re thinking about it. “Pretty name. Who are the blankets for?”

She smiles faintly at the compliment. “My friends, Eren and Armin, and Armin’s grandpa.”

Not her parents. Your heart breaks for her. You’re not going to pry, the girl has probably seen enough, but you admire her maturity and willingness to spend the nights cold. It must take a lot to love some people so dearly that one would give up basic comfort. To risk getting sick, which, given the circumstances, may just be a death sentence. Yes, that kind of love is truly special, and you wonder if you’ll ever love someone that much.

You want to be a little selfless, too.

“Here.” You shrug off your uniform jacket, draping it over her shoulders. “I know it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.”

Mikasa’s eyes widen. “But don’t you need it, ma’am?”

“Eh. They can make me another one.” You shrug. “Besides, to tell you the truth, orange isn’t really my color.”

Her eyes shine tiredly at the unexpected kindness. “Thank you.”

You watch her run off, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. One person helped, out of thousands. It shouldn’t matter - you’re probably never going to see that girl again, you wouldn’t even know if the dumb uniform would do her any good. But there’s a part of you that can rest just a bit easier now, knowing that a child won’t be completely exposed to the harsh winter coming in. If the conditions of Wall Rose are anything to go by, you know that the refugees will be put to work in the fields very soon. It’s going to be a cold season indeed.

There’s been no time to process anything, which you’re almost grateful for. If you stop to think about the effect this is going to have on the fate of humankind, you might scream. There’s too much to think about, and there may be no time to think about it if things get even worse. For now, all you can do is try to help as many people as you can.

As Grumman always tries to drill into your head, it’s about dedicating your heart.

____________________

The new base and training areas are nice. That’s about all you can say for them. Losing the old one was akin to losing your home, and you know your comrades feel the same way, considering how awkward and depressing the shift has been. It feels stupid to start training again like the world hasn’t gone to shit, but you suppose it’s more necessary now than ever.

Everyone’s usual hijinks have stopped. Ophelia doesn’t cross her eyes and make faces whenever Grumman turns his back. Gunther’s habit of making finger guns every time he successfully slices a cardboard titan’s neck has ceased to exist. Even Traute, never one for jokes, seems even more morose and serious than usual. Everyone feels the loss keenly.

Ricky’s gone silent.

You don’t know how many people everyone has lost, and the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced is the relief that you haven’t lost anyone. It’s an ugly impulsive thought, but it trumps all the others in your head. Just overwhelming, horrible comfort.

It gets even worse when the Scouts return, almost three weeks later. There’s no cheers and hollers this time. Each and every single one of them is drenched in guilt and shame along with the blood coating their capes. Titan blood evaporates, you realize with a deep shudder.

The commander carries the same pain as the rest of them. Already, there’s been whispers of Commander Erwin, murmurs that Shadis is losing his touch and a younger, more clever man is needed. You don’t see how it matters who leads - titans are fucking titans, and they certainly don’t care. There’s no tactics that will make them stop being giant man-eating monsters.

You’ve been waiting for days to see Levi, but when you finally make him out, you quickly look away. The horrifying relief blooms in your chest again, and you curse and bless the circumstances that have brought you here. So he’s alive. So the constant anxiousness that has kept you up these last few nights is soothed. So what? Not everyone is as lucky as you. Things will never, ever go back to normal. You have no right to be happy about this.

When you glance at him again, you suck in a sharp breath when you see he’s gazing right back at you. There’s no brightness in his eyes, the rare spark that you’d seen in the moments the two of you shared is long gone. It seems like it was centuries ago. He’s seen too much. They all have.

There’s a question he seems to be asking you, but you have no idea what it is. You want to walk up to him, but a heavy force keeps your feet planted right where they are. All you can do is give him a confused expression, brows furrowed. It’s not like you’re telepathic. If he wants to ask you something, he’ll have to actually ask you.

But he doesn’t. He just looks away, seemingly conflicted, and continues to follow the others. When everything around him is hell, you wonder if you’re even important enough to be worth more than a couple of seconds of his attention. Thankfully, the thought isn’t painful like you imagined it might be. In fact, it’s a bit freeing to let go of this stupid, ridiculous, pointless plan. Your grudge against the lieutenant is about the least important thing in the world right now, so insignificant that you wonder how you ever thought it was worth your time in the first place. There’s no need to make yourself feel more like the foolish, self-centered bitch that you’re realizing you are.

The only problem that comes with letting go of this plan is that you’re letting go of Levi, and it’s a serious problem that the thought gives you such an aching pang in your chest.

____________________

Stephen is gently shaking you for a good ten seconds before you snap out of it, looking at him with a bewildered expression.

“Aren’t you going to go for your walk?”

You look around. Dinner is nearly over, and a few people have already filed out to go back to their dorms. You must’ve zoned out, like you have been ever since the Scouts came back earlier today. You’ve never been so unfocused in your life, simply because you didn’t like not knowing what was happening around you. This is so unlike you, but you’re not sure what to do to stop it. A dark cloud has settled over your shoulders, and you have absolutely no idea how to get rid of it.

“Yeah.” You sigh and stand up, squeezing his hand in thanks. “Ricky went to bed already?”

Stephen nods, with a concerned frown on his face. “I know you’re worried about him, (F/N). I am, too. A lot.” He takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to have to worry about you too.”

You wince apologetically, running a hand through your hair. “Shit, I’m really sorry. Look, I’m fine, I am. I’m just...thinking a lot lately, that’s all.”

The last thing you want is to have your friends take time out of their day to schedule an intervention for you. You’re not the one who needs it. It’s as though everything just makes you feel worse and worse - it’s just that you feel fucking useless all the time, and now you’re an emotional burden to Stephen, who just has to be sweet to everyone.

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says kindly, “just take care of yourself, okay?

“Yeah. You too.” You squeeze his hand again and then head out, beginning your aimless walk around the grounds.

The moon is shining brightly, an unwanted beacon to the despair brewing inside you. Truthfully, you’re spiralling, and you haven’t spiralled in years, not since you decided to take control of your life. There’d been no trigger then, or maybe life itself had been the trigger, and you’d holed yourself up in your room as your head spun out of control. Cheesy questions like what am i doing here and what is my purpose and am i ever going to do anything meaningful rose to your mind then, and they do again now.

Back then, you’d decided that the answer simply lied outside of Stohess. You still believe that, to an extent. Going back isn’t going to solve anything, but...what did leaving accomplish? Your desires are fulfilled, but there’s no purpose to any of this. Not when people were and still are dying out there. Is the only way forward to dedicate yourself to the noble cause of saving humanity? There mustn't be a person alive who can give themselves that goal and actually hope to achieve it.

Well, except one.

This time, you’re the one who finds him.

He’s standing by his horse, stroking the fur gently. Somehow you’ve walked all the way to the stables without realizing. You take a step back, intending to walk away, but the selfish part of you that you’re starting to loathe doesn’t let you go any further than that. You’ve missed him, so much. You’ve missed his bad attitude, his amused smiles, his tantalizing gaze. You want it back, selfishness and selflessness all be damned. Now that he’s here in front of you, it’s too hard to resist.

“Lieutenant.”

Levi looks at you, and his shoulders droop as he stares wearily. He looks like he’s aged several years, and you consider that he probably doesn’t want to see you right now.

“Sorry to disturb you.” You take a deep breath, willing your hands to stay still by your sides and stop clenching. “Were you going for a ride?”

“Yeah.” He takes in the sight of you and then lets out the slightest of sighs. “Do you want to come?”

“What?”

Never in a million years did you expect him to offer going on a horse ride with you, and never in a billion years did you expect yourself to want to accept. You’re so taken aback that it doesn’t occur to you to note the little stool he’s using to hike himself up (as though he can’t pull himself on - it’s a formality more than anything). Levi’s looking at you, waiting for an answer, hand outstretched like he’s actually trying to live up to the fucking prince charming title you’ve given him.

“Okay,” you agree softly, not really knowing what the hell else you’re supposed to do.

You take his hand and he helps you on - really unnecessary, you can get on a horse by yourself - and you swallow when you realize he’s placed you in front. If he wants, he can observe your every reaction to him, and see...well, you don’t know what he’ll see or what you’ll do, but you know it’s not anything you’re willing to show him.

He gets on behind you, an arm snaking around your waist before he instructs you to hold onto the saddle tightly.

Neither of you speak. The horse trots peacefully, never going too fast. The poor thing’s probably done enough running to last it a lifetime. You caress the fur gently as you enter the forest, the moon now cloaked by the towering trees, stealing away your capacity for sight. It’s not something you inherently mind, honestly, it feels good to just close your eyes and relax.

But deep under the guilt and midlife crisis (probably more than midlife given the world you live in), you’re still you. And you get restless easily, not to mention you’ve been craving a conversation with Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and you don’t want to pass up the chance.

“How bad was it?”

Okay, maybe not the conversation started you should have chosen.

“Bad,” Levi answers without much hesitation, “really bad.” He releases a shaky breath and on impulse you place your hand over his, immediately feeling awkward right after. Do you grip his fingers? Pat him in a show of solidarity? You don’t know, so you don’t do anything, but you don’t remove your hand either.

After a beat, he says, “I was wrong.”

You wrack your brain about what he could be wrong about. Maybe about asking you to come with him just now. Your company hasn’t exactly been what you would call pleasant.

“About what, sir?”

When Levi responds, you feel his hot breath on your neck and you barely stop yourself from shuddering. He shouldn’t be in such close proximity to you. Doesn’t he know what he does to you when he gets this close?

“I said I wanted to see the day that smile got wiped off your face. Now that the day’s here, I wish I could take it back.”

You whip your head around, not even bothering to make sure you don’t accidentally hit him. Luckily you don’t, even though he’s not far from you at all, just a centimeter closer and the tip of your nose would touch his. In the dark, you can barely make him out, but the grey eyes that have fascinated you for so long are discernible even without any light. He’s watching you, so intently that your face burns up, and you pray to whoever’s up there that he can’t see you too well without the moonlight.

But can anyone blame you? Lieutenant Levi, the man who’d punished you for smiling, was now claiming that he missed the very smile that had made you the bane of his existence. You can’t chalk it up to his usual mood swings, because you know it’s not that. You know he’s trying to tell you something, and you’re so close to figuring it out.

You don’t even flinch when his finger curls under your chin and tilts it up just a bit so he can appreciate the view properly.

Even in the dark, you know his lips are just a mere inch away from yours. You wonder what he tastes like.

No.

You turn back around, heart pounding wildly in your chest. It’s wildly inappropriate to think about doing something like that. You can’t, not when he’s your trainer and lieutenant and humanity’s savior. Whatever this is, you have to reel it in control.

“I can’t,” you say, and then quickly clarify so he doesn’t get the wrong idea, “I can’t smile. Not when so much has happened. How can I smile when people...when they’re out there...when you and the rest of the soldiers have sacrificed everything and I’ve done nothing?”

It’s not as though you expect him to give you the most motivational speech in the world, but when he answers, “You’re going to sacrifice plenty in the future,” you feel overwhelmed with guilt, and you just want it to stop. He doesn’t know. Doesn’t know your plans, your motivations, or why you’re here at all. He thinks you’re someone that you’re really, truly not.

But you’re not brave enough to tell him any of that. So you opt for the other truth, the less relevant but equally as pressing one.

“I’m not strong enough.”

“No,” Levi murmurs in agreement, “but you’re going to be.” Both his arms are curled around you, and there’s something uplifting in his tone when he says, “4 AM tomorrow, understood?”

Just like that, your goal changes.

If the lieutenant thinks that you can actually be useful, then maybe...maybe you actually can. You’ve somehow gotten in the top ten without even meaning to, so it’s not too much of a stretch to think you could be really good if you actively tried. And he’s still willing to train you - even after all that’s happened, he doesn’t consider you an added bother to his already difficult life. And you plan to value that, now. You’re going to get better, stronger, faster. No more passivity. And maybe if you do this, you can ease the guilt brewing inside before you completely drown in it.

“Yes, sir.”

Determination has risen back inside you, but a ghost of a smile only reappears on your face when you hear him yawn, something you’re one hundred percent sure you’ve never seen nor heard before.

“Are you actually sleepy, Lieutenant?” you tease quietly, “it’s not even 11 PM yet.”

“You should be happy,” he mutters, “all your efforts trying to chase away my insomnia and it’s finally worked.”

If not for the trees providing you safety in the form of the absence of light, you wouldn’t be as bold to do what you do next. Closing your eyes, you lean back and hunch down, resting your cheek against his chest. He stiffens a little at the close contact, but doesn’t say anything or push you away. You won’t kiss him, but you can allow yourself this much, just to seek comfort in the safety he provides just by being there. He’s so, so warm.

The horse rides on, and Levi keeps his arms around you and on the reigns.

Truthfully, as you listen to his heartbeat, you don’t think you’ll ever know who comforts who most tonight.

____________________

The next morning, you’re there before he is, on your fourth lap by the time he walks up. If Levi’s surprised, he doesn’t show it. He only takes his new spot on the new grounds at this new base, and watches you from afar.

Naturally, he still barks at you that your stance is sloppy when you start doing your squats, asking you snidely how many times he’s told you that you need to squat down at a ninety degree angle and just what you did in your early mathematics classes if that’s what you think ninety degrees is. He still presses you into the ground with his foot when you attempt to do a push-up without going all the way down. And he absolutely still withholds your water privileges until you’re practically dizzy from your activities.

Except this time, you have no complaints. You do what you’re ordered.

And maybe stop to give him one or two pointed glares.

When he dismisses you, you find that you’ve still got a bit of energy left. You’re certainly not sleepy.

“Will you spar with me?”

Levi raises a brow, unimpressed. “So you can get your ass handed to you again?”

“I’ve improved!” you cry out indignantly.

“Oh yeah, you’ve made great strides.” He snorts, digging his heel into the ground and raising his fists. “Okay, (L/N), give me your best shot.”

With Lieutenant Levi, the thing that matters most is the element of surprise. Last time, you went for his legs, so he’ll see that coming. You quickly scan his stance - how is it that you two have spent so much time together and you still haven’t located a single weakness of his? Not that that’s what you’re doing anymore, but it would sure be helpful in a fight. Needless to say, you need to think fast.

So before either of you can move, you cry out in pain, clutching your side. “Shit! I - I think I pulled a muscle - ow, fuck -”

Levi’s beside you in an instant, hand reaching down to inspect your stomach. Damn, you’re a better actor than you give yourself credit for. As soon as he reaches out, you grab his bicep with both your hands, plant your feet, and yank up as hard as you can.

No, you probably can’t throw him over your shoulder. But you can at least try to whirl him around you and then tackle him while he tries to regain his balance.

Well, you could if Levi didn’t twist his arm out of your grasp within a single second and grab you in a chokehold.

“Playing dirty, are we?” he whispers in your ear, “naughty girl, I should keep you here an extra hour just for that.”

Gasping for breath, you pat his elbow repeatedly in defeat. Surrender, you surrender! After holding on to lord his victory over you just a little longer, he lets you go, and you suck air into your lungs desperately.

He doesn’t make you stay any longer, but nonetheless, you certainly lose your brawl. How disappointing.

“I’ll...get you...next time…”

Levi’s lips quirk into what can be taken for a smile. “No, you won’t.”

“Yes I will!”

____________________

You lose the next time.

____________________

And the next time.

____________________

And the next.

____________________

It’s a whole two months later when Ricky laughs again.

There’s nothing funny about the situation at all - everyone is freezing their ass off in the middle of nowhere and questioning just how surviving a snowy mountain is going to improve their combat skills. No one was brave enough to ask this question before, though, so now all they can do is deal with it. The problem is that your group is definitely lost.

“Well, this is great,” Gunther groans, sinking on his knees into the snow. You wonder how he can handle the cold biting past his clothes and into his skin.

Ophelia, who’s been pessimistic since the beginning, seems to take this as her permission to sling her bag off and completely give up. “We’re going to die up here.”

You huff. “We’re not going to die, but yeah, we’re gonna lose some merit. They’ll probably send a search party by morning.”

“T-tell us, (F/N),” Gunther says in that smarmy tone of his that makes you pity his parents, “how exactly are we going to make it till morning? You got a fur coat hiding away in those custom boots?”

Ophelia snorts and you narrow your eyes at him. “If I did, I wouldn’t share it. And they’re not custom, it’s actually a very popular brand item.”

“Well, mind trading with me? All I have are these ratty ones.”

“I do mind, actually.”

Ricky hasn’t said anything, only observed your interactions with a blank expression. You let out a pained breath, filled with disdain at seeing your precious oxygen visibly. Yeah, you’ve decided you’re not a fan of the cold, not one bit. You’re already one of those people who is cold all the time, and this isn’t really helping. Apparently no one has any idea, and although Gunther was assigned team leader, you decide to step in.

“We have two options.” You hug yourself, rubbing your arms in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. “We could try to find some shelter and stay alive till morning, or…” You sigh, not really a fan of all the work that goes into option two, but it’s still the one you’re leaning towards. “Or we get our shit together and find out how to get back to the cabin tonight.”

You’ve got something to prove, after all.

Ophelia’s teeth are chattering as she says, “W-where the h-hell will we find shelter out here?”

“Nowhere. That’s why we’re gonna go with the other idea.”

“Someone’s eager to hold onto her position,” Gunther accuses, “even if it means sacrificing her team!”

“Oh my God, who am I sacrificing? Who have I sacrificed so far? No one!”

“Yet!”

You make a rude gesture and stalk off on your own. The others call after you, but only Ricky follows, grabbing your shoulder before you misstep and tumble into the icy ground. You groan loudly, this is so not how the night was supposed to go. You have to make it back.

“You’ve changed,” Ricky says all of a sudden. “I’ve known that for a while, and I know that we all have, but you’ve done a complete turnaround. I mean…” He hesitates, considering his words carefully. You wonder if he knows that just by doing that, he’s showing that he’s changed quite a bit too. “You would have decided to give up on this by now. So what’s the deal?”

Honestly, it’s surprising that it’s taken him this long to ask. Nonetheless, these days you’re glad to hear Ricky speak at all, so anything he says is welcome. That doesn’t mean you know how to answer his question, though.

“Like you said, we’ve all changed. I just decided to…” You trail off and shiver, rubbing your hands together.

“Give a shit?”

You give him a weak smile. “Yeah.”

Ricky nods, looking satisfied enough with the answer. There’s a slight shift in his expression as he peers at you. “It’s not out of pity, right?” When you look confused, he clarifies. “Not out of pity for me. I know I don’t matter that much to you - I just mean, if you feel bad for everything that’s happened, to everyone, you shouldn’t.”

Scoffing, you glare at him, with crossed arms. “Who said you don’t matter to me?”

“Do I?” He grins, looking genuinely surprised. “Me, the outer city peasant?”

This time you allow yourself to speak without thinking. Sometimes, the moment just calls for it. “Yeah, well, we rich folk have to do some charity work sometimes.”

That’s when Ricky laughs, and oh, how you’ve missed the sound. He throws his head back, looking up to the sky like he’s praying. Snowflakes coat his cheeks, and when he looks back at you, his eyes are bright, and he’s gazing at you in the same way you’re sure he once gazed at his poor, lovely little sister who couldn’t make it long enough to see her brother step up and become a hero of humanity.

Then he grabs your arm, yanking you forward.

“Come on, twerp.” He ignores your protests that his hand is freezing. “Let’s get you off this mountain.”

____________________

Okay, Petra definitely knows that you’re trying to compete with her for the number one position. She’s just too nice to say anything, so the two of you just silently try to outdo each other in every which way. Teacher asks a question in class? Either your hand or her’s will fly up right away. Grumman walks by? Well, the two of you are saluting faster than anyone else can even ball their fist. There’s an advanced exercise at 2 PM? You both finished your exercises early and are there at 1:30.

You’re not even sure when you started competing with her, but here you are.

And to be fair, you’re neck and neck with the star student. In classes, you’re basically equal, her because she works hard and studies and you because you retain information well and can play suck up rather well. As for hand to hand combat, you pretty much top your entire Cadet Corp except maybe Traute. When people are paired up to train to steal the knife from each other, no one ever wants to partner up with you (which both hurts and is rather flattering). Yeah, in a fight, you’re pretty much secure. It’s the 3D maneuvering where Petra has you beat.

Now, you’re not bad at using your ODM gear, not by any means. She’s just a damn natural. Any maneuver that takes you five days to pull off is one she can manage in three. A part of you wishes that she actually was a horrible person - then you could at least use your dislike of her as a motivator to beat her. Alas, you’re quite fond of the other girl.

These complaints are what you find yourself telling Levi one morning, after requesting that he watch you fly through the forest. Nowadays it wasn’t entirely unusual for you to stay past 6 AM, either doing extra training or just talking to him. He’d complied, and you’d gotten gear for the both of you to use in the forest.

Seeing him in action only serves to make you even more grouchy about your own skills. Levi’s already fast enough on his feet; with the ODM gear he seems nearly invincible and you have an inkling he’s not performing to the best of his abilities just to monitor you. When you finally tire yourself out, you grumpily toss the gear off, head out into the grass, check for bugs and flop down onto your back once you’re sure it’s safe. “I don’t get it,” you moan unhappily, “why can’t I do it as well as you can?”

Levi steps in front of you, his head blocking out the rising sun. Ah, perfect. “It’s because you enjoy it too much.”

“Oh, is that your professional diagnosis?”

He sucks in a long breath, which you know translates to you’re so fucking difficult, damn shitty brat. “My professional diagnosis is that you’re a dumbass.”

“Aww, thanks, sir! But I only take medical advice from licensed professionals.”

Levi notes your position and moves out of the way to allow the sun to blind you. You wince, squinting in the sunlight, and your hand comes up to shield your poor eyes. Averting your gaze, you peer straight up. In the middle of spring, from the open grounds down below, the clouds have never looked more beautiful.

“Wanna lay down with me? It’s therapeutic. The grass feels great.” You beckon him down next to you, but he shakes his head, instead choosing to deliver a small kick to your side. You hiss - someone seriously needs to do something about the lieutenant’s violent tendencies.

“Do you think I’m doing this so you can look at the pretty sky?”

Tossing your arm over your eyes, you say, “No, you’re doing this because you’re interested in me.”

The sound that Levi lets out is so strangled that you immediately look at him, concerned. He turns away from you for a second, scoffing with his cheeks tinted slightly red, and that’s when you realize he took your statement in an entirely wrong way. You’re a bit offended nonetheless, he doesn’t have to act like it’s disgusting to even think about you in that way. People have been interested in you! It’s happened, you’re a delight! He’s just blind, that’s all.

“I meant interested in me as a subordinate.” You sit up, knees hunched to your chest. “Now that Commander Erwin is in charge, everyone knows you’re going to get promoted soon too. Get a whole squad all to yourself.” Grinning at him, you let your palms rest on the blades of grass beneath you. “Hunting for your own lieutenant, Captain Levi?”

Huh. The title rolls right off the tongue. It suits him pretty well.

He looks at you strangely for a second, before holding his hand out. As you tug yourself up, he mutters, “Please, if I was going to have a lieutenant, I’d need someone competent.”

“Well,” you drawl, not bothered, “I’m not interested anyways.” At least there, you’re being truthful. Even if the thought makes you feel ashamed.

You and him continue to bicker as you walk across the grounds to put the gear back in the shed. While you don’t exactly walk slowly, you don’t go at your fastest pace either, itching to prolong the time that the two of you share. A stark contrast to the first few weeks you trained with him, when all you could think about was going back to bed. Now, nearly a year and a half later, you’re not sleepy, you’re not angry, and you don’t hate him.

When it’s time to part ways, you pretend as though you’re studying him carefully.

“What?” Levi snaps, but there’s no bite to his bark.

“I stand by what I said earlier, about you wanting a lieutenant.” A small smirk spreads on your lips. “But I also think you just have a crush on me.”

He stares at you. A second passes. Two seconds.

Three seconds.

You burst out laughing, hitting his shoulder. “You should see your face! Did you think I was serious?”

He looks at you with his eyes narrowed crossly, only serving to make you laugh louder.

“Minx,” he finally says, shaking his head, “a fucking minx is what you are, (L/N).”

____________________

“It’s raining!”

The excitement with which you squeal those words has nearly everyone rolling their eyes, but they follow you out anyways. It’s nice of them to abandon their lunch for this momentous occasion, rain during the summertime. You feel a rush of love for your fellow cadets, specifically for the three people who are right besides you. Of course you’ve always considered Millie your best friend, but Ricky and Stephen had filled a piece of your soul that you didn’t know was empty. This is your family, and you love them.

“Stephen!” Millie’s voice comes, scolding next to you. “Are you serious?”

“What?”

“He still doesn’t know what regiment he wants to join.”

“Leave him alone,” Ricky asserts, taking a swipe at her that she ducks.

“I know what I want to join,” Stephen mumbles, “I’m just not sure…”

Somehow, you know exactly what he’s considering. The rain gives you courage.

“The Scouts are wonderful.” Stephen turns to you, surprised, and you let out a giddy laugh. “They’re amazing. Brave, and heroic, and they kick ass. You’d do really well there, Stephen.”

You’re rambling, but by some miracle, Stephen takes your words to heart and makes his decision.

“Okay,” he says, with a wide smile on his face. “I’ll join the Scouts.”

Ricky coughs into his fist, something that sounds suspiciously like kiss ass. You’re too enthralled by your current environment to notice that, or Millie’s disapproving glare.

Bathing in the rain, you spin around until you’re dizzy. Droplets pour down your face, soaking your hair, your uniform, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. This, really, is what happiness is. The chance to fool around in the rainfall, to throw your hands up and feel precisely just how little of a speck you are in the vast, wide world. Slipping a hand into your bun, you let your hair down, closing your eyes as you soak up the thrill.

Everyone is chattering in groups around you. No one is mourning the lunch that has been long forgotten in the mess hall.

There’s grey eyes watching you when you open yours, a fond smile that you think he probably let slip past the tough exterior on his face. No one can resist this weather.

Maybe third time’s the charm. Even if it’s not, it doesn’t hurt to try, right?

You raise your hand and wave at him.

From the distance, still watching you closely, Levi sighs softly and then waves back.

Something you’ve never felt before bubbles up in your chest. It threatens to consume you as the others become a blur in the precipitation around you. You feel light on your feet, almost as though you’re not even touching the ground anymore. Affection? Adoration? For him?

Maybe it’s because of the stupid way he holds his teacup. Or maybe it’s the way he looks at you like you’re the funniest, most ridiculous person he’s ever met. It might be how his touch always lingers, how he’s always warm, and how he never fails to catch you when you stumble. How about that dumb cravat, why is he always wearing that?

His sarcastic quips, always ready to fire back at you. The way he brushed your tears away that time he’d found you crying. How he never pushes you to open up more than you want to, and how truthful he is. The feeling you get when he smiles or laughs at you, knowing it’s a rarity for him. His eyes, a blend of silver and charcoal that you could stare into for hours and still never get tired of.

It’s here, dancing in the summer rain, that you realize something that really should have been painfully obvious. There’s a reason you notice all these things. There’s a reason your heart is fluttering right now. There’s a reason that time has frozen, and there’s a reason you feel like you’re floating a thousand miles up in the air.

It’s because you like him. You really, really like him.

Oh, shit.

reader on her first day: wow levi’s eyes are beautiful

reader whenever levi is in front of her: damn he is so alluring

reader every time levi so much as glances at her: does he like me?

reader for two years: if levi asked me to have sex with him i would

also reader: omg i have a crush on him??? how is that possible?????

falling for a guy just because he finally waved back at you after like sixteen months is kinda weird but you do you girl.

one chapter left! :O

[mirrorforevers]

heavenly nobodies (or “the fog”) • graham/reader

this is a bit heavier than usual, ladies. proceed w caution. tw for mentions of abusive relationships, drug abuse and reader has no self-esteem at all. nothing too descriptive in that sense though

on a lighter note, reader n graham are basically two lost adults acting like petty children

a quick disclaimer: its not my intention in *any way* to glorify or romanticize drug abuse or basically anything any of these characters do - its messed up shit. this is fiction, don't take it seriously, please

if this fic was a song, even though its titled after a lush song, it would be lark by angel olsen i guess. might have a sequel someday i dunno

+18, as always. contains smut. this is sososososo long and has went through so many rewrites im sorry. but i do think its my best fic yet!

set in the mid 90s

word count: 3.780

You still remember the day it began.

A nasty fight took place between Graham and Alex. You only got involved because your relationship became one of the topics of the heated debate. Long story short, Graham basically screamed at you two that you, Y/N, were wasting your life away by dating someone like James.

At first you were blind with rage and defended your decadent relationship while insulting Coxon until your throat burned from the screaming match, but afterwards, after you caught yourself thinking a little too long about how James' eyes sometimes seemed to hover over you with an indifference Coxon's never, ever showed, and how it hurt to see Alex in the arms of an entire sea of more attractive women than you - and how shallow you've become for even trying to excuse his behavior with something as empty as the fact you weren't as stereotypically beautiful as the other girls he screwed, you noticed something wasn't quite right about the entire situation, but you still felt shivers at the prospect of telling him you were sorry. He also had a lot to apologize for.

The fog. That's what's been messing with your mind lately. And Graham's. And everyone else's.

It's hard to think about things clearly as they happen in your life when all you feel during most of it is hedonistic, empty bliss. Everything moves in slow motion. The regret, the harsh words, always come afterwards, like a sudden car crash, after people realize the very real consequences of what they said and done while they were immersed in their own very temporary, elusive, pleasures. The fog also made you bitter - not only you, but Graham, Alex and the other boys as well; your relationship with them as a group of friends and individually, each in a different way, consequently turned into a toxic, resentful mess of chaotic feelings and unresolved conflicts. Your relationship with Graham was by far the most affected.

You grew up together. You went to the same college. You very briefly had a thing. He drew you lots and lots of times, you haven't lost a drawing. You realized you didn't love him like *that* and he was okay with it. You were still as close as ever.

Then you met his other friends. In the beginning, he was so excited about this whole "band" thing. The boys were funny, compelling, undoubtedly hard to deal with sometimes, but you got them quickly. Their music very gradually became successful - they deserved it. They sounded so good together. You noticed Graham was a bit jealous of how you interacted with the other boys sometimes. Damon and Dave were the first ones who tried (hard) to bed you, but Alex, effortlessly, was the one who got to.

One night turned into two, three, fifteen. Then into a fucked up prototype of a relationship around the time their stages got bigger, more packed with screaming teenagers and all of you met her – heroin. Graham got proportionally and gradually more distressed and anxious each day. You didn't know which one of these things disturbed him the most, after all, he didn't speak to you (or anyone, for fuck's sake) like he used to. Thousands of little things began to intercalate and swallow everything you've built together.

You've started to hate him - he refused to speak to you about what was bothering him, and you barely talked outside of the inevitable circumstances. Meanwhile, Alex dragged you even deeper into his questionable lifestyle and you shrinked into it until you could pretend it fit you like a glove. You felt so small. Invisible to everything and everyone who truly mattered, even to yourself. You tried to reach out to the one who mattered most plenty of times, but every time you tried to reach out to him it would end up in screams and even more resentment. It seemed like there was no way back - he hated you as well because he thought you were just like Alex. It felt like a knife was twisted in your stomach when he said it the first time. You pretended it didn't hurt the other ones - those were the nights your binges were the worst and you'd vomit yourself to sleep, though.

Everything was leading you to one of those nights again, until you heard a knock on your door. At this time of night, it was definitely Alex.

You tried to tidy yourself up as much as you could in a matter of a few minutes. You thought you weren't as effortlessly beautiful as the other women in his life - as if cheating had something to do with appearance and not with his character, but oh well - and you felt like you had to at least try to keep up with their pace. You washed your face, smeared some foundation on some old stretch (and track) marks and tried to pretend his presence was the brightest spot on your day. He disguised so much criticism under the pretense of worry, leaving you feeling so bad about yourself, but you needed his approval like you needed air on your lungs (or opioids on your veins) for some reason you couldn't quite explain.

You open the door, holding your breath while you tried to ignore the pit that grew on your stomach just to find out that...

"Graham?" You were simultaneously relieved and revolted to see him on your door. Adrenaline ran through your veins. You didn't realize how afraid you were of him - you've only hurt one another with words, but still, you were afraid to cross eyes with him just because you felt like it would start another fight and you would simply never speak to each other ever again, not even to fight. You were afraid of how deep your friendship has corroded.

He was visibly hurting, just like you. It comforted and hurt you to see it.

"You were waiting for him, weren't you?" He noted, vaguely motioning towards the lipstick on your lips. You felt pathetic.

"What are you doing here?" You quickly wiped the lipstick off your lips while he looks around, not really knowing what to answer. His eyes, puffy, somehow indicated he wasn't there to say he was sorry. At that point, you didn't even cared who was in the wrong. You just wanted to know why he was there.

"Just came here to tell you that... I'm leaving Blur, and... I'll be moving to Germany with a friend. Tomorrow."

"What kind of joke is this?"

"I wanted to tell you because... I felt like we got so used to each other's presence t-that... even if you're relieved by the news, uh, I think you should know in advance."

There was no mischief in his eyes. There was no point in joking with something like that. It's not like you were comfortable enough with each other to joke with each other nowadays anyway. That realization crushed you and anchored you to the very confusing and tragic reality just laid out in front of you.

It was so uncharacteristic. You knew of his tendency to run away from these types of situations and this time he simply didn't. Your mouth refused to close. "I-I don't understand. You... You can't... You can't just do that. You have a fucking gig tomorrow!"

"I won't justify myself to you. Just... take care of yourself and... don't let that leech suck the life out of you more than he already did."

"You don't understand. You don't understand anything. Is this about him? Again?" In yet another wave of adrenaline, you pulled him inside your flat and he just lets you. "Are you moving to bloody Germany because of what went on between us today?!"

"I don't care that you don't love me. I care that I can't go for a fucking day without seeing you waste away your life with him. If he was someone that made you happy... but he's just killing you. I can't deal with that."

Still in shock, you pulled him in a desperate kiss. It was not an attempt of making him stay, but something else entirely new. He had to say he was leaving so you could really know, in a matter of a few seconds, how much you needed him there.

His reciprocity simultaneously broke your heart and filled it with hope - you knew how far your relationship with Alex went and how tough it would be to break free from the chains he's got your heart tangled in, but at the same time, Coxon kissed you in a way no one else ever did. He loved you like no one else could. And that's how you noticed how easily you clinged to any sign of true affection given how much Alex's been neglecting your emotional and physical needs lately. Everything was about him all the time, it was a monologue. Graham and you had a conversation.

(A conversation that lasted all night. Thankfully, Alex didn't show up. He must've been talking to someone else.)

Instead of sweet nothings and love confessions, funnily enough, you and Graham exchanged soft "I hate you"s after the deed was done. You both hated the situation you were in. Hated that even though the passion burned hot as fire between you, you were stuck in a mess bigger than everything that just went through both of you. But never each other. You just couldn't name the feeling right.

Perhaps needless to mention, he stayed in the United Kingdom. Instead of sitting and talking like adults about what you felt about each other though, the bickering somehow became even worse.

Of course you started to take his side on fights more often. Mock Alex's behavior together more often. Something definitely changed between the two of you, but it still wasn't enough. Graham was still furious that you wouldn't give up on James. You were still furious that he wouldn't take your relationship with Alex seriously. It had its many faults, yes, but it was special in a way no one else grasped and you were raised to think that people shouldn't give up on others that easily, a convention that no modern deconstruction of social norms could take out of you out of a sudden. Not even Graham. But instead of raising your voices and breaking things around you, you've found other means to release the tension between you. Usually in dark corners of untidy pubs, his flat or yours. It became so frequent it didn't need any planning anymore.

Following the opposite path of the earlier days of your animosity, the more intense the fights got now, the lower your voices got. Instead of distancing yourselves from each other in the middle of screams, your bodies got closer like magnets. He could be so tender somehow even when his words stung like venom.

You were living and breathing contradictions. Him in the way he conveys his hopeless submissiveness to you in the way every touch of yours breaks him and the way he just isn't able to cum if he sees you're not having enough pleasure, yet he fucks you like he wants it to hurt and pretends nothing happened after you're done; and you in the way you cling to him like he's your lifeline when he's deep inside of you but isn't hesitant to not look him in the eye on some other nights.

The night of one of the parties thrown by Blur's record company following the release of The Great Escape wasn't one of the latter.

While the lower floor of the venue is frenetic with people immersed in different levels of ecstasy caused by all sorts of different substances, the upper floor is reserved to the lovers, or people who were looking for a calmer place to talk or to relatively safely de-escalate from their highs. You, on the other hand, just wanted to run away from the view of Alex kissing another woman in the event he brought you to. You were almost falling asleep in one of the tiny, dimly lit and cramped rooms when a small, familiar voice woke you up. "Why aren't you downstairs with your future husband?"

You feel aloof. The slightest mention of the one you think you love disgruntles you. "Ugh. I should have known it was you," you grumble, giving him room to share the sofa with you. "You know why."

"I don't. Someone once told me I don't understand anything." He accepts the offer almost unconsciously. It's so interesting to see how his actions contradict his words and posture, just like your actions contradict yours.

"I'm still right about that. Why did you come here? To mock me?"

"You're lost."

"And so are you. Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear it."

"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, calmly, knowing what the answer will be.

It's always a no.

You instinctively move closer to him, as if he's about to disappear in a cloud of dust in any moment. You don't ever want him to leave.

He notices your eyes are glistening when your lips touch, so smoothly and in such a tender way. His hands enter your hair, just below your ears, and you melt at his touch all over again.

The kiss starts out slow, then becomes more and more intense. His tongue slides against yours and you whine, clutching at him like he’s the only thing tethering you to this earth. It becomes so easy to let him settle between your thighs. He runs one of his large hands through your hair, fists it, and pulls your head so he can have easier access to your neck, filling it with open-mouthed kisses. “Why the fuck,” you manage to murmur in between heavy breaths, “do you care so much about me?”

He doesn't answer. His fingers trace the hem of your dress instead, skimming up the side of your leg. You whimper as he moves them over the sensitive skin to the apex of your thighs, his lips finding the side of your throat again. He sucks a mark into your skin just as his thumb caress your core so lightly above your underwear and you whisper, voice trembling with desire: "You're so much better than him."

He's not sure if you're just leading him on, and neither are you. He doesn't even know if he has heard it right. The fog really blurs every line. Reason, feelings, motives. "You never cried over me", he answers, seeking to turn that reality around, it seemed. Your hips buck into his touch, and a moan escapes you when his hand coyly seeks direct contact with your clit, stimulating it with precision from the start. "You truly... don't know shit," you gasp, grinding harder against his touch and losing yourself to his ministrations, the fog of an earlier hit helping in enveloping you in a state of so much bliss.

"Do you want me to lock the door?" His raspy voice takes you out of this world. You nod, a little disappointed by having such a great feeling interrupted for the sake of privacy. Your lips were spit-slick and pinkened, your eyes half lidded. The sight made Graham breathe hard through his nose, but he somehow kept his composure. When he goes to lock the door, you couldn't help noticing the tent you helped build in his jeans. You feel proud of yourself.

He returns with the hungry kisses and eager touches, slowly driving you crazy all over again. His kisses lower down, down... and you pat his shoulders, motioning for him to stop. "I want to make you feel good tonight." He accepts the offer.

You scooch downwards, just above his hips, and you pull his pants and the waistband to his briefs down in one swift motion. He's painfully hard, but that was hardly a surprise. Graham straightens his back just in time to watch you take the reddened head of his cock into your mouth. He claps a hand over his mouth, hips bucking upwards into the wet heat instinctively, your warm breath enveloping his dick and clouding his mind.

Wrapping your fingers around it, you gently jerk him off, slowly sliding your hand from the tip back to the base. He groans, watching you as you fill his senses with a dull warmth. You stare back at him, smiling as he groans at your warm breath.

You run the tip of your index finger tentatively along the underside of his cock, watching with fascination as his cock twitches and reacts to your presence. You lean forward, breathing on the head before planting a soft kiss on the tip. Coxon whimpers, his dick aching from your attention. Tired of the teasing, you begin stroking it, your soft fingers loosely bouncing along his shaft. He leans his head back to the ceiling when you kiss the tip again.

You eye his cock excitedly, before you lean forward and lick his head, swirling your tongue around the crown and flicking it across the tip. His hips thrust forward before you can even react, his mind reeling as your tongue slowly traces along a vein you followed from the head all the way to the base. He groans, and was about to say something when his mind went blank. He sees pure white, his brain shutting down almost completely as you wrap your mouth around the end of his cock and set a steady rhythm to the oral stimulation. His chest rumbles as a deep growl of satisfaction leaves him, shaking through the air, the vibrations in your mouth punctuating his growl with a hiss.

He cracks his eyes open, his glazed eyes staring down to find you staring directly at him. The sight of his rigid cock vanishing between your soft lips made his skin crawl. He groans heavily, grasping your head on instinct and thrusting forward.

You gasp lightly as he shoves himself deeper inside your mouth, pushing against your throat. He moans your name desperately, panting heavily as his hips automatically thrust against you. You stand firm, keeping only the front half of his cock in your mouth, slithering your tongue against the crown and watching intently for his reactions. He was close, his mind firmly on fire as his body reacted on autopilot, trying to extract as much pleasure as possible. He could feel his climax approaching, your soft lips and gentle eyes coaxing him on. You look into his eyes and give an experimental bob of your head, taking him further into your mouth. Feeling the characteristic salty taste of precum on your tongue, you take your mouth off his cock, and before his mind is able to form a cohesive sentence of protest, you take off your underwear and sit on his lap. His hands now squeeze your hip, pulling you closer. Your wetness leaves a bit of a trail on his legs before you sink on his hard, already lubricated cock.

"You're addicted to my cock, aren't you," It's fascinating how Graham's behavior changes when he's drunk. In the best and worst ways. He would never say something like that while sober. You nod in agreement, face flush with arousal and need. "He can't even fuck you," he punctuactes with an especially hard thrust, "like I can." he envelops you in a sort of hug as his broad shoulders and arms now dictate the rhythm you both follow.

"He--c-an't, fuck--"

"Do you think," he takes his entire cock out of you just so he can go even deeper when he says, "he'll hear us... if you say my name out loud?" he smiles when a loud moan escapes your lips, feeling completely in control of your body. You can't even talk anymore, just nod, like a marionette.

"So say it." Another thrust. And another. And another. You follow his pace with your hips religiously, not even slightly ashamed of making the name of the one who's giving you so much pleasure public, as he commanded. You take the last atom of control on your body and direct it to your pussy, clenching your walls tighter around him, an action that successfully tears his thoughts apart, making his eyebrows furrow and his mouth, agape. One of his hands move to the middle of your bodies and, as he looks down at where your bodies meet, begins to stimulate your clit to the rhythm of his thrusts. His groans turn louder when your body moves towards his again, and the sound of your moans, along with the sound of skin against skin and your ragged breaths were the only thing you were able to hear, along with the distant sound of It Could Be You playing in the background.

In a daze, he says your name in that unique way that only he knew how to - like it was part of a prayer and your body was his God(dess). You dig your nails into his back while he fucks you without a trace of mercy. You close your eyes, losing yourself in all those sensations as Graham continued his movements. When he punctuates his now even faster thrusts with a string of "fuck, fuck, fuck" - that's when you know he's close, a suspicion confirmed true as he comes hard inside of you, closing his eyes tightly as he reached his climax. You follow him seconds later.

When he recovers enough to be able to breathe calmly and control his heartbeat, Graham rests his chin on your shoulder. Neither of you say anything for a long time.

And when the spasms of pleasure are gone, Graham's brain decides to go back to work and he realizes what had just happened - again. Suddenly, the sensation of bliss is accompanied by that weird sensation of "What do I do now?". He carefully removes his dick from you and pulls his jeans up, zipping up his pants while you straighten your dress and search for your panties in the middle of the dark. Both without saying a single word.

Graham clears his throat, glancing at the mirror behind the door and seeing his state was deplorable. His face reddened by the heat and his hair a perfect mess. You were in no better situation than him.

“Uh,” Graham said a long time later, breaking the silence. “How long is that arrangement supposed to last?”

"I won't count the time." You responded calmly. 

He nods, mystified by you. 

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Swiss Ghoul (Ghost) 18+

I realized a while ago that I always shoulder shimmy whenever I hear a song with a particularly good beat (usually Hispanic music lol), so it was about time I wrote something about Multi.

Warning: The reader has night terrors. I don’t have night terrors myself, so I apologize if I portray it incorrectly! +SMUT.

Edit: I’m adding smut at the end of this...don’t know why. This would be the first time writing something so explicit. So, 18+ 18+ 18+!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Every night, you’d get these horrible night terrors.

It started when you were a young, after your parents died. You’d always cry or scream in your sleep. You went to the church’s Priestess for help, but she told you that there was nothing she could do. You prayed to your lord every night, hoping that he could take away your suffering. He never answered.

Eventually, almost a week of screaming every night, it was decided to move your room to the most secluded part of the abbey. You didn’t blame them. You were sure you’d get tired of listening to your screams every night too.

You knew everyone felt sorry for you, but you didn’t need their pity. You just wanted one good nights sleep...was that too much to ask?

In your room, no human could hear your screams. No human. But unfortunately, the Ghouls could. Curse their super hearing...

The Ghouls didn’t have to tell you that they could hear you, you could tell by the way they looked at you with pitiful stares every time you’d pass them in the halls in the mornings. You felt so embarrassed... 

The worst part for you was everyone in the abbey treating you like you were made of glass. You had lived with night terrors for so long now that you knew how to make sure that you didn’t get hurt. You did not need their help with that.

After one practically awful incident, you grew more and more careful of how you slept. It was when you were living in foster care, about a year after your parents died. You had already dealt with the night terrors, but that night, you got hurt. You don’t usually remember what happens when you have these episodes, but your foster parents told you that you flailing around so hard that you fell off your bed, hitting your head on the bedside table in the process.

You had to deal with the risk of getting concussions after that, and ever since you’d make sure to wherever you slept was basically safe enough for a child.

After becoming a Sister of Sin, the night terrors mellowed out for a while, but it didn’t last.

You sighed, pushing your fork around, some scrambled eggs and a sausage being the only thing left on your plate. You looked around the mess hall, it was pretty empty. You were usually one of the first ones to arrive for breakfast since you rarely got your full eight hours.

Even if the night terrors were detrimental to your sleep, you were still thankful you didn’t remember them. But ever since you got hurt, you’ll admit, you’ve been afraid of sleeping. Nowadays, you get about four or five hours every night at the most.

You suddenly think back to a psychology class where your teacher said that lack of sleep can cause early deaths and heart attacks...oh well.

“Good morning, Y/N!” Swiss’ voice called out, making you drop your silverware in shock.

“Morning.” You sighed and yawned.

“Sleep well?” He asked, making you glare at him. He grinned nervously, knowing full well of your predicament. “Bad joke? Sorry...”

Being annoyed, you still chuckle. “It’s alright.”

“Gonna eat that?” He asked, pointing at your neglected eggs and sausage.

You smiled weakly, and pushed the plate over to Swiss. “Knock yourself out.”

Swiss licked his lips in anticipation, a puddle of drool already pooling on the table. He grabbed your previously held fork and stabbed it into the greasy piece of meat. He lifted up the impaled sausage and brought it to his mouth, only to bite the bitter metal of the fork.

Swiss whined and looked around for the culprit of his stolen breakfast, only to see Dewdrop already scoffing it down. “Hey! That was mine!” Swiss fussed.

Dewdrop grinned and sucked off the leftover grease that coated his fingers. “You don’t eat sausage with a fuckin’ fork. You were basically asking for it to be stolen.”

“Civilized Ghouls use their manners!” Swiss growled.

“Swiss, when has Dewy ever been civilized?” You chuckled, making Dewdrop narrow his eyes at you.

“I told you not to call me that, brat.” He growled.

“Ha! You’re calling me a brat?!” You laughed loudly.

“You wanna meet your maker early?!” Dewdrop shouted.

“Ugh, children. Stop fighting!” Aether said suddenly, sitting down beside you, opposite of Swiss, making you feel quite protected from Dew’s empty threats.

“She started it!” Dewdrop pointed a sharp claw at you.

“If you wanna get technical, it actually Swiss that started it.”

“What?!” Swiss squeaked.

Dewdrop suddenly grinned evilly. “You know what, you’re absolutely right.” He said, Swiss immediately begging for his life before Dewdrop tackled him to the floor.

You and the rest of the Ghouls watched in amusement as Dewdrop and Swiss wrestled each other on the floor, Aether enjoyed his breakfast while watching the show.

“Hey! Hey!” 

You all looked to see Sister Imperator storming towards the group, a spray bottle in hand. She quickly sprayed a still fighting Dew and Swiss with water, forcing them to break apart.

“You Ghouls are supposed to be at practice soon! Copia is gonna waiting!”

The Ghouls suddenly remember that they had to go on tour soon, frowning when they had to leave you alone. But shooed them off anyway, you didn’t want to be the cause of their possible punishments for blowing off work.

“We’ll hang out later, okay?” Swiss smiled at you, showing his pearly white teeth, water still dripping off his silver mask.

You nodded and smiled, but frowned as soon as his back turned and headed off to the studio where they usually practiced. “Y/N,” Sister Imperator said, “can I talk to you?”

You held your breath for a moment, nervous about the grim look on her face, but you answered anyway. “Yes, of course, Sister.”

Sister took a seat where Aether previously sat, and put a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Your terrors haven’t stopped.” She stated.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “H-how...?”

“The Ghouls.” She answered. “They haven’t been getting much sleep lately. The band is suffering because of this. They just can’t focus on their music due to lack of sleep.”

You looked down embarrassed. “Sister...I’m-”

“I know it’s not your fault, dear. But...” She sighed. “It needs to stop or else they won’t be tour ready.”

Your heart almost stopped. “...are you kicking me out?” You almost cried.

“No, no, no!” She said. “Not permanently.” You nodded tearfully. “It would only be until they go on tour, dear. I promise. It’s just...they need their sleep to get the most out their practice time.”

“I understand.” You said, your voice barely passing a whisper.

“You won’t be homeless. We’ve already set up a living arrangement with a member of the church that’ll be happy to house you for awhile. Okay?”

“When do I leave?”

“Anytime tomorrow.”

You bit your lip to keep it from trembling. “Okay...I’ll go pack now if that’s okay with you Sister.” You said and got up without waiting for an answer.

You dug your nails into the soft material of your habit, willing yourself not to break down on your way to your room.

The waterworks started flowing at soon as you closed your door, throwing yourself onto the familiar comforting feeling of your bed, remembering that you wouldn’t have this bed until you got back.

It made you cry for hours, until you fell asleep...

You suddenly gasped awake, quickly trying to escape the claustrophobic feeling you felt around you. “Hey, hey, hey...shh...” You heard.

You looked up, and quickly realized who the voice belonged to. “Swiss...” You smiled, but Swiss didn’t smile. He looked worried. “What?”

You tried to sit, finding it difficult when you suddenly felt a sharp pain in the palms of your hands and forearms. You hissed in pain and looked at your arms. They were covered in scratches, and your palms had deep crescent shaped indents in them, all bleeding.

“Y/N...” Swiss frowned. “We got to take you to the infirmary.”

“No, no.” You groaned. “It’s okay. I have a first aid kit in my closet. Bottom shelf, I think.”

Swiss immediately rummaged through your closet and pulled out the kit, bringing it over to you as you sat up. “Does this happen often?” He asked while take out some antibiotic ointment.

You sighed. “Not really. I usually don’t hurt myself...it hasn’t happened in a long time.”

“I didn’t know it could get this bad...” Swiss gently took your arm, uncapping the tube. “I’m sorry.”

You smiled. “It’s not your fault. If anything, I’m the one who’s sorry.”

Swiss briefly gave you a confused look, continuing to treat your self inflicted wounds. “What do you mean?”

“Sister...she told me I’ve been keeping you all awake because of...my screaming. You Ghouls have always had better hearing than humans.” You laughed nervously.

Swiss’ eyes darkened. “She told you that?”

You nodded. “Practice hasn’t been going very well for you guys.”

Swiss sighed and shook his head, starting to wrap your hands with gauze. “I...yeah, it’s true. But it’s not your fault!”

“You’ve lost sleep because of me! How is that not my fault?”

“You can’t control what you do in your sleep, Y/N.”

“I have to leave tomorrow.” Your statement made Swiss halt his actions. “I have to stay at a Clergy member’s house until the band goes back on tour.”

“Fuck that.” Swiss suddenly said, making you blink in shock. “I’m not letting you leave.”

You chuckled bitterly. “It’s not like you have a choice.”

“I don’t care. You don’t deserve to be kicked out, even if it’s temporary. because of something you can’t control. I will go on strike, hell, all of us will.”

“Swiss...” You tried to scold, the determination in his voice making it hard for you to crush his hopes.

“Nope. Shut up.”

“Swiss.” You laughed.

“I’ll talk to Sister Imperator. I’ll convince her to let you stay.” Swiss said, looking you in the eyes. “Okay?”

You sighed in defeat. “...okay.”

Swiss finally finished treating your wounds, and put the first aid kit back in the closet. “Move over.” He ordered when he got back over to your bed.

You were confused but listened anyway. “What time is it?” You asked.

“Hmm, about ten.” He said and sat beside you.

You frowned. “You should probably leave then.”

“No, I’m staying with you.” Swiss said, making you blush. “If you want that it. Maybe it’ll sleep better?”

“Swiss, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Swiss giggled. “I don’t know if you remember, but I’m a Ghoul babe. You’d have to be really freaking strong to even leave a scratch on me.”

You giggled. “Okay then. Fine.” You said and snuggled up against Swiss, finding his muscular body quite comfortable.

“I’ll make sure you don’t hurt yourself again.” You heard him whisper before his warmth lulled you into a deep sleep.

The next morning, you woke up still in Swiss’ arms. You found it surprising that you hadn’t scared him away. You looked up to see a sleeping Swiss. His mask was slightly crooked, showing a tiny bit of skin underneath. You smiled when you heard his soft snores. You always found him adorable.

But you frowned, remembering that you had to leave the abbey today...you had to leave Swiss.

You reached up and gently poked his jaw, him groaning in reply. “Hmm?”

“It’s morning.” You said softly, looking back towards your window that had sunrays shining through.

“Oh, really?” Swiss yawned, finally opening his eyes to look at you. “Guess what?”

“What?” You smiled.

“You didn’t scream in your sleep.” He smiled.

“Really?” You almost shouted, making Swiss wince slightly.

“Mhm, you didn’t even more around that much. You mumbled a little, but other than that, you pretty much slept like a baby.”

“Huh...that’s odd. I mean, it’s great but still, kinda odd. That doesn’t usually happen. I guess that means the others Ghouls finally got some sleep too.” You laughed.

“Oh, don’t worry about them. You should be focusing on yourself.” Swiss snuggled into your neck, the cold metal raising goosebumps all over your body.

“I have to leave today...” You frowned. Swiss stayed silent, not loosing his grip on you. “Swiss...”

“I told you I’d take care of it.” Swiss said, slightly muffled. You sighed and decided to sit up, making Swiss groan. “No, come back.”

“I have start packing.” You started to get up but Swiss grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down and looking at you with an intense glare.

“I told you, I’d take care of it.” Swiss said and stood up. “Stay here. Don’t fucking leave.” He ordered.

You rolled your eyes and fake saluted him. “Yes, sir.”

As soon as Swiss left your room, you started packing your suitcase. It’s not like you didn’t trust Swiss’ abilities to talk his way out of any problem, but talking to Sister Imperator was a whole other thing. She wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit, so that was worrying.

You didn’t exactly know how Swiss was going to try to convince Sister, but you hoped he could anyway.

Meanwhile, Swiss gathered up his fellow Ghouls and explained the situation. Dewdrop made the mistake of joking around that he wouldn’t mind if you left, making Aether slap the back of the head.

But they all agreed to help out, quickly going to Sister Imperator and successfully convincing her to let you stay.

You however decided to change out of your habit, not really thinking you’d have the need to wear it in your new temporary home. It felt like you were being put in foster care all over again...

You swiftly removed your habit, neatly folding it and placing it on your dresser. You picked some comfortable clothes and briefly wondered if you should take a shower. But before you decided, Swiss barged in through the door without knocking.

You squeaked and quickly got underneath your bed covers, hiding your half naked form. But it was too late, Swiss was already wearing a smirk. “Oh, learn to knock, will ya!” You blushed furiously.

“Sorry.” He laughed. Yeah, he obviously wasn’t sorry.

As if he wanted to make you more embarrassed, he sauntered over and sat in front of you. “Swiss...” You whined and sighed.

Swiss smiled, looking over to your open suitcase and frowned. “You were packing?”

“...uh, yeah.”

“I talked to Sister Imperator. She said you could stay.” He said, still frowning.

But you grinned. “Oh my...wow, really?! That’s...Swiss, I don’t know how you did it, but thank you! I’d totally hug you right now, but well, you know.” You giggled nervously.

“Y/N...” Swiss said lowly. “Didn’t I say that I’d take care of it?”

“Uh, um...” You stuttered, suddenly nervous by Swiss’ gaze.

“Use your words, babe.”

“Uh, yeah. You did say that.” You sighed.

Swiss moved closer to you and placed a gentle hand on your knee. “So, why is it that you’re packed, huh? Did you not have faith in me?” He pouted.

“N-no...I didn’t have faith that Sister would be convinced.” You chuckled.

“Hmm, I suppose I can understand that.” Swiss said, moving even closer to you and placing his hand on your cheek. “Guess you’re stuck with me now, huh?” He smiled.

You suddenly became aware of how close he was to you when you felt his warm breath on your face. He would not stop looking into your eyes. You glanced down at his lips, feeling the urge to taste them.

Swiss smiled and leaned in, the cold metal of his mask hitting your face first then his soft lips.

You almost moaned at the pleasant feeling. You always had a soft spot for the charismatic Ghouls, now, you were finally his.

Slowly but surely, you started to feel the fabric of your duvet slid off your body. “Is this okay?” Swiss whispered.

You nodded rapidly, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

As soon as you gave consent, Swiss ripped off your coverings. Moving closer to you, he rubbed his large hands up and down your thighs. You could already feel yourself become slick with excitement.

Swiss brought a hand up to your underwear, delicately moving the article of clothing out of the way. You gasped when his cold fingers started moving in between your folds. “You’re so wet for me already, babe?” He grinned beautifully.

Swiss then inserted a finger into you, pumping in and out at a rate that made your head spin. You panted and tangled your fingers into his hair, placing the other hand on his bicep to try and steady yourself.

You moaned in pleasure when Swiss added another finger, then rubbing tight circles on your aching clit with his thumb. “Fuck, Swiss...”

Feeling a little guilty that you were getting all the pleasure, you brought your hand down from his head to palm his hardening length through his pants. “Eager, are we, Y/N?” Swiss groaned, throwing his head back slightly and chuckled.

With Swiss’ consistent pressure on your clit, you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Quick shocks of intense pleasure making your body jolt occasionally. “Swiss...I’m gonna-”

Swiss quickly pulled his hand away, making you whine and almost let out a sob at the loss of contact. He grinned and brought his hand up, licking and sucking you off his fingers. “Can’t have you cumming just yet, babe.”

Swiss stood up from the bed to remove his clothes, taking off his briefs released his throbbing cock, a bead of precum already leaking out of the tip. He then hovered above you, placing himself in between your legs. “Again, you sure about this, babe?” He asked softly.

You almost groaned in frustration. “Yes, Swiss, I’m sure. Now please just fuck me!” You begged.

Swiss quickly obliged, thrusting up into you with a snap of his hips, not worrying about getting you to adjust to his size since you were already so prepared. You moaned loudly, finally feeling him stretching you out. “You feel so good.” Swiss moaned.

Swiss kept up a steady pace, his length hitting all the right places.

From already being so close to your release from his fingers before, you could feel the knot building up inside you once again. “Swiss, I’m so close.” You stuttered.

Swiss nodded and picked up the pace, close to his release as well. He thrusted into you fast and hard, making your tits bounce and your head close to hitting up against the wall. His mouth pouring out delicious moans every time he felt you clench around him.

You soon felt that familiar sensation flow throughout your entire body. The knot in you finally snapping, causing waves of ecstasy to burn through you like lava. You moaned loudly, eyes tearing up and your vision becoming hazy as you rode out your orgasm.

Swiss’ thrusts became sloppy, chasing and finally catching up to you in reaching his own climax. The shots of his warmth filling you up, making you moan in unison with him.

Swiss pulled out of you with a huff, throwing himself beside you and soon wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Wow...that was-”

“Fuckin’ amazing.” You giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~

I came up with a really dumb, cheesy title for a Multi Ghoul story. “Shimmying his way into my heart.” But I have no idea what to write to fit that title😂

Also, that was my first time writing smut so I’m sorry if it sucked. The cringeeeeeee 🙈