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fific7 · 3 years

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Go Back - Part 1

Josh Sawyer x Reader

A/N: Inspired by the song Go Back by Tony Allen ft. Damon Albarn. Josh’s wife has thrown him out and he’s been avoiding his obsessive ex-girlfriend after a one-night-stand. And then he met you. Life is complicated enough, isn’t it?

Additional A/N: I found Locked In a bit confusing but Ben looked totally hot in it! Sort of like a naughty King Caspian 🔥😉 This is very loosely based on the film plot but I’ve dropped the whole ‘daughter in coma’ part of the storyline so basically have rewritten the film 😄

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral and unprotected, between consenting adults*. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My photo edit)

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When you see the stained reflections of city lights

But you're far away at sea, with all the satellites

And the runaways

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

You're a runaway

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

You're a runaway

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He quickly picked up the glass as soon as the bartender put it down and emptied it of the shot of whisky. The bartender eyed him, taking in the dark good looks, the slumped shoulders as he leant on the bar, his morose expression. “Bad day, bud?” he grunted.

Josh nodded, “And some.” He sighed and tapped the glass, it being swiftly refilled. “Wife’s divorcing me ‘cause she found out I’d hooked up months ago with an ex - just the one time! - and kicked me out. She’s making it difficult for me to see my kid. And the ex has gone into full-on stalker mode.” He downed the second whisky and asked for a beer. The barman popped the top for him and placed the bottle and a tall glass in front of him, “Rough on ya. Hope it works out, man.” He moved away to serve another customer.

Another beer later, Josh left the bar and headed the short distance down to the Charles River, sitting down on a bench next to the water and gazing out across it. It was Friday night and there were quite a few people strolling along the river. How the fuck had he got here? No home, no marriage, no steady job… his phone vibrated in his pocket and made him jump.

He pulled it out. Jesus H Christ! Would this never stop? He killed the call and went into his contacts. Found Renee’s details and deleted them. He should’ve done this months ago. When she next called back - and she would - he’d block her. If he had deleted them in a more timely manner, maybe Emma would never even have found out, he thought bleakly. But then admitted to himself that their marriage hadn’t exactly been a bed of roses the past couple of years, so maybe it was always just fated to end one way or another.

He stood up, sliding his phone back into his jeans pocket and taking one last look at the river flowing past him. Turning to leave, he heard an exclamation and a low cry of pain. A woman was half bent over just a short way along the riverside walkway, making small bunny-hops while clutching her ankle. He approached closer and asked if she needed some help. She smiled up at him, and with that simple gesture his world suddenly got a little bit brighter.

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You’d been walking briskly along the riverside walkway heading to your apartment when you turned your ankle on an uneven area of paving. A low crack accompanied this and for a few awful seconds, you thought you’d actually broken it but then realised the victim was one of your high-heeled shoes.

“Ow! Dammit! Shit!!” you cursed, hopping about like a mad March hare. A shadow fell across the walkway in front of you, and you heard a deep voice asking if you needed help. Looking up, you saw that your knight in shining armour was one of the hottest guys you’d laid eyes on for a long time. You didn’t realise that you were smiling up at him until he suddenly returned your smile.

Without so much as a second thought about stranger danger, you blurted out, “Can you believe I’ve broken the heel of my shoe! And twisted my ankle. Listen, I live just along there..” you pointed, “…would you mind helping me hobble along to my apartment? I’d really appreciate it.” The stranger smiled even more broadly at you, “No problem at all, be happy to.” He offered you his arm and you grabbed it, standing upright and then slipping off your one remaining intact shoe so you could carry both.

The two of you started a slow walk along the riverfront, your ankle still being painful enough to stop you putting any weight on it. So as you’d anticipated, you were indeed hobbling and wobbling along. “Have you got any ice at home?” he asked you. “Yes, but I also have frozen peas,” you laughed, “that’s probably the least messy thing to use as a cold compress, isn’t it?” He smiled back at you again, nodding, and you thought about how much the two of you seemed to be smiling at each other.

“Which is your condo?” he asked, before continuing. ”I’ve just moved in to one myself here very recently.” You pointed out The West End Apartments, “That’s mine.” “Nice,” he nodded, “mine is a bit further back from the water. The Towers at Longfellow.” “Oh yeah, I know them. Looked at an apartment there before I bought mine.” “I’m just renting for now. I… ah…didn’t expect to be looking for an apartment, to tell you the truth.” You glanced across at him and saw that he now had a stony expression on his face. You decided to change the subject, “Could I be a complete pain and ask you to deliver me to my door? There’s an elevator but I’m still struggling a little here.”

The smile was back on his face, “Yes, of course.”

A few moments later, and holding your Good Samaritan’s arm in a firm grip, you were ascending the few steps up to the main entrance of your condo. As you wobbled through the lobby with him on your way to the elevator, you decided it might be a good idea to introduce yourself. You’d also decided that you were going to invite him in for a drink or a coffee in appreciation of him helping you in your hour of need. And if you were honest, you wanted to try and get to know him a little.

He didn’t seem to be a homicidal maniac, after all.

In fact you got a slightly melancholic vibe off him.

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Josh pressed the Call button and stole a quick glance at her, thinking how beautiful she was. And how lucky he’d been to bump into her tonight, she’d certainly lifted his mood. He’d jumped at the chance to spend even a couple more minutes with her by escorting her to her door. She’d made him feel relaxed and at ease, which was surprising to him as he’d literally only just met her. He’d been so on edge recently that any relief from the anxiety was truly welcome.

The elevator arrived and he guided her inside; she leant against the side to take the weight off her ankle. With a little smile, she introduced herself and he told her his name. By that time, the elevator had zipped up to the top floor and they emerged into a large lobby area. He noticed there was only one door. She pointed at it, “That’s me,” and they headed towards it.

She fumbled her keys out of her bag and opened the door, turning to him and asking, “Would you like to come in for a coffee or a drink to say thanks for helping me out?” He hesitated, and she jumped in, “It’s okay, I understand if you’d rather not.” He looked at her, the small smile on her face, the little shrug she gave. Did he really need to complicate his life even more? But as soon as she’d finished speaking, he heard himself saying, “Yeah, I’d like that.” She limped through the doorway, “C’mon in then,” she said, over her shoulder.

He followed her into the apartment, seeing a huge open-plan area with floor-to-ceiling windows forming each end of the space. “Wow, this is nice,” he commented, “much nicer than mine!” She laughed, “Oh, I’m sure yours is just as nice.” He shook his head, wandering around and taking in the whole space, spotting a half-open door leading to a bedroom. Get your mind out of there right now, he said to himself. “No, believe me - mine is much smaller and without the huge amount of light you must get in here.” She walked over to the kitchen area, turning back to look at him, “What’s your poison?” “Uhh… do you have any beer?” he replied, shrugging off his jacket and draping it over an armchair.

She pulled out two bottles of local beer, “Is this okay for you?” “Perfect,” he nodded, so she popped the tops and handed one to him, before also grabbing a bag of frozen peas. She headed to the sofa, sitting down and holding the bag against her ankle; he’d followed her and sat down at the other end of it. “So, Josh… tell me something about yourself,” she asked in a non-interrogative way. He smiled, feeling a bit apprehensive as he always did now when asked about himself, “Ha, well, okay but I’m warning you, I’m not very interesting! I directed commercials for an ad agency for the past few years, but decided to jack it in recently. It all got to be too much, d’you know what I mean? So I’m doing some freelancing at the moment.” She nodded, and he carried on, warily, “I… uh, I’m in the middle of a divorce and I’ve got one kid, a daughter called Brooke. Another reason - the main one, actually - that I left my job, I wanted to spend more time with her. That’s about it, really. I did warn you it wasn’t very interesting.”

He looked over at her and noticed the small frown on her face and laughed, “I’ve put you off now, haven’t I? Which was it, the no job, the divorce or my kid?”

She shook her head, smiling, “None of them. I was just feeling a little sad for you. My parents divorced when I was younger so I know how difficult it can be all round.” He relaxed a little, sitting back against the sofa, “Yeah, it’s not ideal. My wife’s making it difficult for me to see Brooke.” “That’s your daughter, right?” When he nodded, she continued, “And you just said ‘my wife’ so that sounds like you haven’t yet really accepted that the divorce is going through.”

He took a swig of his beer and relaxed even more, leaning one arm along the back of the sofa. “Oh I’ve definitely accepted it, I guess it’s just habit. My “ex” wife, I should have said. The divorce will be final very soon so I’d better get used to saying that.” Another sympathetic look from her, “I’m sorry you’re going through that.” He shrugged, “There was a trigger for it but if I’m honest, it’d been on the cards for a while. Things hadn’t been good for the past couple of years.” Reaching over and putting the bag of peas on the coffee table and curling her legs underneath her, she said, “Is it too intrusive to ask what the trigger was? Tell me to mind my own business if you like!” she grinned.

He found himself grinning back, “Nah, it’s okay… I’d gone out to pick up more sweets last Halloween and uh, I stopped in for a quick drink on the way. I happened to meet an ex of mine in the bar and regrettably, I… um, well, we…” Her hand went up, “It’s okay, I get your drift! I shouldn’t have asked, sorry. I’m too nosy for my own good.” “It’s fine. I’m not proud of it. And karma’s got me good in any case. Not only the divorce but the ex is stalking me.” “Oh… really? And I take it you don’t want her to stalk you?” He laughed out loud, “No, I definitely don’t! There was a reason we split, y’know? At the time, I didn’t want to do the whole ‘settle down and get married’ thing, and that was her only goal. So I broke up with her. That makes me sound very shallow but I just really couldn’t handle it, she was pulling me over to jeweller’s windows and buying bridal magazines. We’d only been going out for a couple of months!” He paused, “In fact, again if I’m honest, I’m not sure I was even ready for all that when Emma and I got married.”

She leant back, sipping her beer, “I see. Well, as I’m asking intrusive questions tonight I may as well ask, why did you propose?” He looked away for a moment before meeting her eyes once more, “She thought she was pregnant. Turns out she wasn’t but I’d asked her and all the arrangements were underway by the time I found out.” “Was it a genuine mistake?” She was looking intently at him. He blew out a big breath. No-one had ever asked him that before. Thinking for a moment longer, he replied, “You know, I’m really not sure. I know that previously she’d asked about my exes and I’d laughingly told her about ‘Bridezilla’. So if she was being manipulative, I guess she knew I maybe wouldn’t go down the marriage path too willingly and it may need to be something drastic to get me there.” He laughed, a little bitterly.

She’d leant forward and put a hand on his arm, “Look, I don’t know your …ex.. wife at all and I shouldn’t have asked that, I’m sorry. Way too personal and insinuating things that probably never happened. Hey… changing the subject quickly, let me tell you my very uninteresting life story.” He couldn’t deny he was happy to move away from the previous topic, the turn the conversation had taken had unnerved him a little. His mind was still ticking over about it as she started speaking again and told him that she was a commissioning editor for a publishing house. She waved a hand around, “You’re possibly wondering how I can afford this place on that level of salary. Well, I couldn’t! - my extremely rich Daddy bought this place for me. And a holiday cottage on Cape Cod. And my car. He continually tries to salve his conscience and earn my forgiveness for him leaving me and Mom.”

Josh nodded slightly, “Ah okay, yes I confess I did wonder. I wouldn’t want to try and guess how much this place cost.” He gazed over at her, “And did it work?” “Did what work?” “Has he earned your forgiveness?” She laughed, shaking her head, “Ha. No, he hasn’t, to be honest.” Sipping her beer, she carried on, “All those nights of 14-year-old me listening to Mom crying herself to sleep? Me crying myself to sleep? Watching him create a new family without, it seemed, a backward glance at us?” She put her bottle down with a little bit of a bang, “So, no. Whatever he does or buys me, it’ll never make up for that.��

Josh’s heart sank. Was that how his daughter would feel about him when she grew up?

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A sober look suddenly appeared on his face and you realised you must’ve said something to upset him. And then it dawned on you that he must be thinking about his own situation. “Oh no! I’ve put my foot in it again!” you said, guiltily, “Look, I have forgiven him mostly. Things like that happen and always have, haven’t they? - it’s just life. There is always a tiny kernel of hurt that lives inside me and that’ll never go. But I love my Dad and that’ll never change either. So your daughter - I guess you’re thinking of her - will feel the same, I’m sure.”

He sighed, “I hope so. It’s difficult to see her right now. Emma’s making it awkward for me, a punishment I guess. Not that I don’t deserve it - I cheated on her after all - but she shouldn’t use access to Brooke against me.” You agreed, continuing, “But that’s what generally happens, Josh. It’s the one really effective weapon that the ex-partner has in their possession. My mother used the same tactic,” you shrugged. “I’m doing my best to spend time with Brooke,” he mused, “but like I said, it’s difficult. And I’m sure it’s being made out to be my fault. I used to be a bit of a workaholic.”

The conversation continued on a different tack, more work-related and how it could be difficult to get a healthy life/work balance. He was totally relaxed on your sofa now, sprawled out with his long legs in front of him. You were in the middle of telling him about a yoga retreat you’d considered going on up in Cape Cod when you noticed his head had dropped onto his chest and his eyes were closed.

Oh. He’s fallen asleep, you thought, what do I do? Wake him? But something told you he hadn’t been sleeping that well lately, he’d more or less admitted it during your conversation. So you got up and went through to your guest room, taking a blanket and a pillow from the bed. Returning to the living area, you lifted his ankles and swung his legs onto the sofa, hearing him mutter something under his breath but he didn’t wake. Popping the pillow under his head and covering him with the blanket, you headed to your bedroom and went to bed.

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Josh jolted awake, hearing his phone ringing and sitting up groggily. Where….? He looked around and at the blanket covering him. Ah okay… shit, he must’ve fallen asleep on her sofa! How embarrassing. He got up and headed to his jacket as he’d transferred his phone to its pocket when he’d got here. It stopped ringing just as he reached for it, and he pulled it out of the pocket to see a Missed Call notification from Emma. Shit!!!!

It was just after 9 and he wondered why she was calling him so early. He hit redial, and she picked it up on the second ring. “Where are you, Josh?!” she snapped as a greeting, “You’re supposed to be taking Brooke to the mall to get some roller skates, remember? She’s been ready for the last half hour, waiting for you! Did you forget?!” “No!” he snapped back, “I took a sleeping pill and I’ve slept in. I’ll be there as soon as I possibly can, okay?” He felt slightly guilty at lying to her but she was always sniping at him, and while he had temporarily forgotten about the mall trip, he could also have sworn that it was supposed to be happening the next day, not today. Emma had done that to him before, telling him he’d got the day wrong when he knew he had not.

And he certainly couldn’t tell her what had really happened. She’d never believe that it was an innocent situation. And sadly that was definitely the case, he thought with a rueful smile. He still had his boots on, never mind all his clothes. He thought fleetingly about how nice it would’ve been to wake up next to his new acquaintance this morning. He tried to ignore the thrill that ran through him as his morning wood chafed against his jeans. Emma’s voice pulled him abruptly out of his fantasy world.

She huffed, “Aww, not sleeping well, Josh? That’s what having a guilty conscience does to you.” He sighed, “Look, Em, let’s not do this okay? I’ll be over to pick up Brooke in… maybe 30 minutes.” “Alright,” she replied, “just make sure you are.”

Josh put his phone in his jeans pocket and picked up his jacket, shrugging into it and wondering what the best way would be to take his leave. If she was still in bed, he didn’t think it’d be appropriate for him to disturb her in her bedroom, bit too intrusive for their short acquaintance. Then he heard the faint sound of a shower running,

Damn! He could’ve done with using the bathroom, but thankfully it would only take him five minutes to jog round to his own condo. Just have to hold on!

Yeah, he’d leave a note for her.

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Stepping out of the shower, you wondered if Josh was still sleeping. No work today, and the thought of sharing breakfast with him was a pleasant one. You were trying to be casual when thinking of him but you liked this guy. Really liked him, even with all his baggage. I mean, who didn’t have some of that? you thought, mentally shrugging.

Tying your robe, you took a quick look into the living area. Empty.

Your heart sank with disappointment. Was he one of those, then? The ‘leave in the morning without a word’ types? Obviously you hadn’t slept together, but still… you thought you’d felt a connection between the two of you.

You headed for your coffee machine, noticing a small piece of paper lying on your kitchen island as you made your way over. Swiftly you scooped it up.

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Good morning - sorry for falling asleep on your sofa, what an interesting conversational partner I am, huh! I usually do better, I promise. Haven’t been sleeping too well lately and I got so relaxed I guess I just dozed right off. And sorry I’ve had to leave in a rush, I’m taking my daughter to the mall and am running late - another black mark against me! I’ll get straight to the point, I’d like to see you again. Here’s my number, I’ll let you contact me if you’re interested in meeting up for a proper date. I’m hoping you are!

Josh

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You filled the water jug and slotted it into the coffee machine, conscious that you had a huge smile on your face the whole time.

Okay, okay, you counselled yourself, this guy could turn out to be problematic. Cheated on his wife, in the middle of a divorce, could get pulled into a custody battle. You knew only too well how messy all that could get.

But maybe that’s exactly why you felt a distinct pull towards him.

YOLO and all that kind of stuff. You were going to give this a go, you decided. Heading into it with your eyes wide open and you thought you knew what to expect. It would either work, or he’d be too involved with his marital situation and cut you loose.

Either way, you were in.

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And when the harbourmaster comes

To switch off the lights (switch off the lights)

And the waiting rooms are empty

Of everyone

Does anyone

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

Does anyone

What am I gonna do with you if you go back?

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#ben barnes #josh sawyer #josh sawyer x reader #josh sawyer fanfiction #josh sawyer imagine #josh sawyer fanfic #locked in 2010 movie

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ahgasecaratfromn-city · 4 years

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Ten Things I Hate About You

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader ft. Haechan, Johnny and mention of Jeno

Words: 7.7k

Genre: Fluff, the tiniest bit of angst if you squint, college au

Warning: Tiniest bit of cursing, kissing, family issues, anxiety attack

Summary: You never had the luxury of selecting who you were going to tutor, so when you paired with the only person you disliked, Lee Mark, you couldn’t help but formulate a list of the ten things you hated about him.

A/N: Okay so, I will admit this is longer than I anticipated, my bad. Mark has been stuck in my head and this was my way of getting him out. Basically, each part is a snip bit/ scene from the day named in bold. *This is very very very minimally edited

“Who the hell is that?” was not the most flattering thing someone could say when being given a free tutor. Hell, it wasn’t a flattering thing to say under any circumstance. Yet, there you were, walking slowly towards your literature class’s resident idiot, Mark.

“Me, I’m Y/N,” he looked you up and down, frowning slightly before looking back at the professor. The boy seemed to always believe that his opinions mattered to anyone but himself. He was always screaming his misconstrued thoughts during class or more likely not showing up at all, and everything about him seemed to piss you off.

Maybe it was the way he spoke to people, always assuming he was in the right. Or, maybe it was the fact that he spoke period, always rambling about absolutely nothing while the class was engaged in relevant and important conversation. More likely, it was the permanent grin etched on his face, as if nothing could touch him, not even the failing grade he was receiving in this class.

“Mark, this is quite literally your last shot because there is seriously nothing else I can do for you,” you tuned out the rest of the conversation, only raising an eyebrow once you heard that Mark wouldn’t be able to pass without a certain score on the final.

“And you really should thank Y/N, there are other students she could be helping,” your eyes shot up at the mention of your name, blushing lightly as the men looked at you.

It wasn’t as if you had volunteered to tutor Mark specifically. You had been tutoring since high school and figured it was the perfect work-study job to take up. Except you didn’t choose who to tutor, only which subjects. Unfortunately, literature happened to be one of them, and Mark happened to suck at it.

“Now, both of you get out of here,” he pointed to the doorway with a slight smirk on his face as Mark trudged away clearly annoyed.

“We can work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until the test. We can meet up at the library,” you offered, following after the boy who seemed to only quicken his pace. Jerk.

“Not Friday, that’s a busy day,” he shrugged, looking at everything but you.

“The test is three weeks from today and judging by your, uhm previous scores, you need all the time you can get,” the boy whipped around at that statement, raising his brow at you. You didn’t understand why he seemed so shocked, you were only telling the truth.

“Fine, catch you later,” His eyes were looking behind you, focused on something else before he finally walked away from you.

That was another thing that bothered you, he never made eye contact. It was like no one was worth the time of day to him.

“What are you looking at,” A familiar arm snaked its way around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest as you prepared to go home. You smelled the familiar scent of aftershave and light cologne that immediately brought a smile to your face.

“You’ll never guess who I have to tutor,” you looked up at your best friend, Haechan, grinning at his confused face. Haechan had been your best friend since you were kids in the sandbox and since then, wherever he was you were likely right beside him.

“Let’s go eat, and you can tell me all about it,” He spun you around, walking you towards the exit.

“Maybe you’re being too hard on him,” the boy suggested, playing with his food before taking a bite. That was his habit whenever you ate together, he would mull over his food as if building a masterpiece before devouring an entire plate in a few bites.

“What do you mean?” You furrowed your brows at the statement.

“I mean, I dunno, maybe don’t judge a book by its cover and stuff,” A slight blush rose to his cheeks as he realized how cringey what he had said was. His eyes met yours for a split second before you both let out a few synchronized chuckles.

“That was so bad, Chan,” you reached over to poke his cheek, laughing even harder as his cheeks became a deeper shade of red.

“I mean seriously, can you even name ten things you don’t like about him?” He asked, suddenly raising his brows in a challenging manner.

“Honestly, I could name ten things I hate about him,” you admitted, taking a bite of your food to punctuate your point. He only shook his head in disapproval as a response before continuing.

“Get back to me in a few weeks, I bet you’ll even end up friends. He seems nice from what I’ve heard” he sent a knowing wink your way before calling the waitress over.

As he began talking to the waitress, his question was still lingering in your mind. Ten things you hated about Mark. You already had certain attributes running around in your head, but you wondered how many more you were going to add to your list.

1. I hate that he is inconsiderate

[Monday]

It was only the first day of your study sessions with Mark, and of course he was late. You were sitting at your usual table in the corner of the library, checking your phone for the nth time. He was almost an hour late and you were anything but surprised. The boy didn’t strike you as the type to keep his word.

“Hey, tutor girl,” The voice struck you from your thoughts, coming from someone you didn’t think you’d see today.

“Mark,” You nodded towards the seat across from you, opening the textbook you had sat in front of you. The boy sat silently, a smug grin painted across his face as he looked at you, eyes focused above your head.

“I had something pop up, sorry about that man,” even his apologies were insincere and annoying. You almost wanted to toss the coffee drink in his hands into the trash, but you found it in yourself to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Whatever, let's just get started,” He nodded in response, glancing down at your textbook with a look of uncertainty, “Did you bring your textbook?” It was then that you realized that he hadn’t brought anything with him, not even a pencil. Of course he was unprepared.

“It’s fine, use mine,” You turned yours around towards him before pointing towards a specific chapter. He nodded in response before flicking his eyes back up in your general direction.

“Today, we’ll start with the basics of analyzing a text. We’ll do ethos, pathos, and logos. It’s pretty simple but it’s gonna help with the essay portion,” You rambled on for a few minutes about the basis of arguments and speeches. His eyes were in the book but you couldn't tell if he was understanding or not. Throughout your explanation, you could see his leg shaking and his fingers tapping on the table.

“Is there anything you want me to go over?” his eyes were still glued to the book as he looked back up at you. He was smiling, as usual, but something about the look in his eye told you that he was utterly confused.

“No, Uh, I think I understand,” His taps became a bit more intense until he realized you were watching him and stopped.

“It’s okay if you don't,” you said mindlessly, “I’m here to help,” as much as you weren’t a fan of Mark, you wanted him to do well. It was a part of the reason you liked tutoring. Seeing someone work hard for something, and helping them get there was one of the best feelings in the world.

“It’s fine,” he shrugged, smiling wider. You didn’t understand why he didn’t just say he needed help since it was literally your job, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“Let’s go over it one more time, for my sake,” you went over the material again, using more examples, even some from popular music to explain the definitions he didn’t understand.

“I mean, I already understood, but I get it, more,” He said sheepishly, rubbing his face in his hand. You smiled a bit at the light pink color growing on his cheeks as you switched subjects.

“Okay, I believe you. We have some more material to cover though. Since you’re picking it up so quickly,” you smirked at the last statement, flipping the textbook in front of him to the correct page. You ignored his groan of despair, instead continuing the lesson you had planned.

You had believed after the first lesson, he might be easy to work with, but eventually, you were proved wrong. Mark was an absolute menace. His incessant taps on the table, glances around the room, random babbling, and absolute lack of interest in what you said, was pissing you off. Even the librarian had walked over to tell him to be quiet.

“Let’s take a break,” he suggested, running a hand through his hair.

“It’s been thirty minutes, Mark,�� you rolled your eyes, pointing back at the sheet in front of you. He seemed to lose focus often, so you decided making him take notes might help.

“I know, but honestly my brain is full,” he whined, sending puppy dog eyes your way. Usually, you would have been able to say no, but his puckered lip and innocent eyes were beginning to sway you.

“Fine, ten minutes,” you gave in to a smiling mark, who shot his fist up in excitement. He leaned back in his chair, looking into space with a look you couldn’t decipher. He was visibly deep in thought and you were beginning to feel very awkward as time went on.

“Tutor girl, yeah she’s tutoring me

I wanna go home cause that’s the place to be,

Wherever I am, the vibe is nice,

Cause I’m cool like ice,” he went on and on rambling random rhymes with the biggest smile on his face. Nothing would have made you happier than saying that it sounded terrible, and while the rhymes themselves were ridiculous, his voice had a certain addictive vibe that made you want to keep listening.

He suddenly stopped, grinning at your lack of words “Shocked into silence, they say I have that effect on people,” he smirked nonchalantly eliciting a groan of annoyance from you.

“I don’t know who ‘they’ are, but your ten minutes are up,”

“What! It’s been like three at most,” he complained, dropping his head in annoyance.

“Well, at least stop being so loud,” you rolled your eyes at the boy, who lit up once again.

You sat in silence for a few seconds before he finally spoke, “Why are you so uptight, tutor girl?” The nickname was really beginning to bug you and so was the boy sitting across from you.

“I have a name you know,” you finally comment, ignoring his question. You were fiddling with your fingers under the table, doing anything to keep your mind off of the uncomfortable question he had asked.

“I know, Y/N,” Your eyes shot up at the mention of your name, almost giving you whiplash.

“So, why do you call me that?”

“It’s just a nickname,” he shrugged lightly before beginning to beatbox. He was like a child with the shortest attention span you had seen on anyone above the age of fifteen.

“It’s definitely been ten minutes now,” you pushed his paper towards him before beginning the next lesson.

2. I hate that he really is a mystery

[thursday]

“I’ve never been here,” You commented, looking up at your very tall friend, Johnny opening the door for you. He was a few years older than you but you ended up bonding through the tutoring center you both worked at.

The building was a typical cafe with a warm mocha toned interior. It had bookcases lining one wall with two big grandpa chairs watching over the small tables littered around the room. The place was relatively empty, with only a few people taking up two tables near the bookshelves. It was super cozy and inviting which made you question why you hadn’t been there sooner.

“Really? A lot of people from school come here,” you only nodded in response, following the boy towards the register.

Once inside, you immediately walked to the baked goods section, eyeing the various desserts.

You were glad Johnny called. You had been stressed out, from your mom riding you about job applications, classes reaching finals time, tutoring Mark, etc etc. It felt like as you got older the weight on your shoulders got heavier and heavier. Everyone in your life needed you to decide on your future and you just weren’t there yet. You couldn't even decide on a pastry let alone where you wanted to be in ten years.

“Are you ready to order?” Johnny tapped your shoulder, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“Sure,” you nodded, masking the sadness the thoughts had brought on.

You watched as the older boy tapped the service bell before peering over the counter. “Someone’s coming,” he said, leaning back.

“Hey Johnny, what can I get ya today,” the familiar voice caused your eyes to bulge as you looked up at the owner.

“Tutor girl?”

“Mark,” you mumbled quietly, nodding in his direction. It seemed as if your problems followed you everywhere.

“You two know each other?”Johnny asked with a grin.

Mark answered quickly “We take lit together,” you frowned at the lack of mentioning the fact that you were his tutor.

“Ah okay,”

“How do you two know each other?” you asked, only half caring.

“We’ve been friends since his freshman year,” The older boy explained.

“Anyway, what do you want bro?” Mark asked informally, smile bright as he got ready to punch the buttons on the screen in front of him.

“I’ll have an americano, give me like two extra shots,” Johnny looked at you, waiting for your order as Mark tapped on the screen.

“Can I get an americano and a chocolate croissant,”

“Sure,” the younger boy said absentmindedly.

Johnny reached into his wallet before you could even say anything, looking down at you with a “don’t argue” look. You were used to him paying whenever you went out together or even with other friends, even though you always put up a fight.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mark said, pushing Johnny’s card back at him, “on the house,” he explained.

“You sure?”

“Yeah don’t worry about it,”

“Thank you,” you smiled sincerely, surprised by the gesture.

“He never pays for me,” Johnny said, chuckling as if it were an inside joke before he began looking for a seat.

He finally selected a table in the corner with two chairs beside it, right next to a window. You sat down in the chair, giving the place a once over again. Something had caught your eye this time. You watched as the dark-haired boy darted around behind the register, preparing your drinks expertly.

“I didn’t know he worked here,” You mumbled absentmindedly, still watching the boy work.

“Yeah, he works at a restaurant too,” Johnny commented, smiling knowingly in your direction. You furrowed your brows as you looked back at him. You didn’t know he had one job, let alone two.

“Oh,” was all you said, leaving it at that. It seemed like Mark really was a mystery to you. You knew virtually nothing about him. Something about that fact gave you an unsettling feeling that you were too stubborn to think about any further.

3. I hate that he asks too many questions

[Friday]

“I don’t want to gooo,” you whined, fighting against Haechan who was currently pushing you towards the library.

“It’s only the third day. You’re such a baby,” You could practically hear his eyes roll as he stopped in front of the door. He had given you a ride to the library, as he always would if he had time.

“Am not,”

“Are too,”

“Am not,”

“Are too,”

“Am not,” Despite how childish it was, you literally stamped your foot, leading to a laughing fit from the two of you.

“I can’t believe you,” he sighed, lightly shoving you.

“I’m very mature though, on a serious-,” you suddenly stopped speaking as you noticed he wasn’t looking at you anymore, “what is it?” you turned on your heel only to be met with the infamous boy himself.

“Am I too early?” he looked down at his phone with furrowed brows before looking back at you.

“No, you’re actually on time,” you didn’t mean to come off as passive-aggressive but judging from Mark’s raised brows, you did.

You watched as Haechan reached out to shake Mark’s hand with a friendly smile and a quick mutter of his name. Mark responded by smiling awkwardly before finally reciprocating the gesture. “I’m Mark,” he introduced himself with his world-famous grin before flicking his gaze in your direction.

It was silent for a few moments before Haechan finally said something, “I’ll leave you guys to it,” he smiled one last time, sending you a mischievous look before leaving the two of you alone.

“You ready?” he asked, reaching up to grab the nape of his neck awkwardly. You quickly noticed the Jansport backpack he was sporting. It was a small thing but something about the fact that he came prepared made you feel weird.

“Uhh, yeah,” you opened the door to the library, walking quickly to the usual spot in the corner, Mark trudging quietly behind you.

“I made some flashcards for you,” You began, reaching into your bag and pulling out the index cards that you had put on a binder ring.

“Thanks,” he took the cards from your hand with a smile.

“So that guy’s your boyfriend?” he asked casually while shuffling through the cards.

You jaw all but dropped in shock as you fumbled to find the right words, “absolutely not,” you finally said, “he’s like a brother,” you clarified, waiting for his reaction.

The question made you feel uneasy coming from his mouth. It seemed random and very odd considering neither one of you had ever discussed anything personal.

“Oh, okay. You seem close,” he commented, continuing to look through the flashcards.

“We are, but uh, today lets just talk about your essay structure,” you changed the subject promptly, noticing the grin that was solidifying on his face.

Ten minutes later you could already tell he was distracted, judging by his taps on the table that were rapidly reaching a fever pitch.

He looked in your direction suddenly, “What do you want to do, tutor girl, like after graduation”

Mark asked you the question like it was the most casual thing to say, like it was comparable to “how was your day” or “what kind of coffee do you like.” No one had really asked you that before, what you wanted to do.

“uh, I’m not sure honestly,” you were unsure of why you were even entertaining the conversation. Had it been asked a few days ago you might have just rolled your eyes and answered with the generic response you had been trained to use.

“Really? You seem like the type to plan everything a hundred steps ahead,”

You quirked your eyebrow up in surprise “What’s that supposed to mean,”

A light blush found its way onto his cheeks as he stumbled over his words, “No, it’s just that you, like, seem put together, like you know what you want,” he clarified.

The notion confused you to an extent. You never knew what you wanted. You had spent so long doing what people told you that you should do, that you barely even thought about what you wanted. Honestly speaking, you had only started tutoring because your mother told you it would look good on college applications. You had just so happened to actually end up enjoying it. That was the real reason you always did everything the same way and were what Mark called ‘uptight’.

“I don’t,” you admitted, “I have a hard time knowing what I want,” you trailed off quietly before asking him the same question.

“I want to pursue music, but I’m not sure if it’s practical,” he said shrugging.

“It isn’t practical,” you agreed, smiling lightly at the shocked face Mark sent you, “but if it’s something you want to do, it’s worth trying,” you finished, watching as Mark let out a breath.

He sighed, “I wish it were that easy,” his table tapping picked up a slow pace. You nodded in agreement, realizing that you were in a similar predicament. “Well, what do you like to do?” he asked suddenly.

“You ask a lot of questions,” you replied simply, playing with the seam of your jeans.

4. I hate that he’s unbelievably stubborn

[Monday]

“Mark, honestly we can just reschedule,” You watched as the boy shook his head, jumping from his previous position.

“No, I’m fine,” he shook his head a few times before gesturing in your direction for you to continue.

The boy kept nodding off throughout your lesson and showing obvious signs that he was in no way capable of learning anything. His eyes were bloodshot as if he hadn’t slept all weekend, his eye bags were at least three shades darker than usual, and most importantly he wasn’t making any noises at all. Not even his usual incessant table taps.

“Mark, you did pretty well on the practice quiz, you can take the day off,” you tried to reason with the boy whose eyes were barely open. It looked like he was sleeping with his eyes open.

“No no, y/n,” him using your real name made you feel weird and told you that he was definitely not in the right mind. “You came all the way here, let’s just start,”

You chuckled lightly at his groggy and barely comprehensible voice as you closed your books.

“Why are you so tired anyway? Did you work over the weekend?” you found yourself actually curious about his answer, not just asking something random for the sake of it not being awkward.

He answered simply, trying his best to hide a yawn, “yep,”

You shook your head disapprovingly before finally speaking, “Alright this is what we’re going to do. One more practice test and then please go home and do us both a favor and go to sleep,”

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” he admitted, sitting upright.

“You’re more of an inconvenience this way because I can't tutor someone who can’t even spell their own name,” I tapped on the corner of his notes, where he had written his name as “mar” leaving the last letter off.

“Fine,” he said finally, lifting his hoodie off of his head.

“You’re so god damn stubborn,” you whispered mostly to yourself.

“I can hear you, y’know,” you smiled at his remark before setting a practice test in front of him.

5. I hate that he sees what no one else does

[Friday]

“Yes, mom,” you paused for a moment, waiting for your mother’s usual rant about how you never did anything right, and how at your age she was already starting her own business, yada yada, the usual.

“I know,” pause, “I sent them out last week, remember?” pause, “I will,”

“Hey, tutor girl,” Mark greeted, taking his usual seat in front of you. He had a concerned look on his face as he noticed you were on the phone having an unpleasant conversation.

You pulled the phone away from your face, “I’ll be right back,” you shot him a small generic smile before walking outside of the building.

“Y/N if you don’t get it together, I’m going to-” your mother’s voice could be heard despite the fact that you had pulled the phone away from your face.

“I’m in the middle of a tutoring session, I have to call you back later,” you interrupted, pressing the hang-up button soon after.

You took a few long breaths before plastering a smile onto your face and walking back inside the building. You could feel Mark’s eyes on you as you walked towards him trying your best to keep up a strong facade.

“Are you okay,” the concern in his voice as you looked at him almost wiped the smile off of your face.

“I’m fine, let’s get started,”

“It’s okay if you’re not. You can tell me about it,” he paused for a few moments, tapping on the table as he usually did, “I can tell you’re you aren’t,”

“It’s nothing, let’s just start,” you waved your hand in dismissal.

“If that’s what you want,” he phrased it more like a question than a statement.

“So, today let’s talk about how point of view affects the entire story,” you began your explanation, the fake smile long gone as you gave examples from the required reading. Mark seemed only half interested in what you were saying, which was usually normal, except today you could feel his eyes glued to your face while yours were in the book as you gestured to certain sentences.

You were not in the mood for his antics and as time passed he was truly starting to bug you. “What!? What are you looking at?” you whisper-yelled in his direction. You found yourself feeling immediately guilty as the boy looked at you in complete and utter shock. His lips had slightly parted into an ‘o’ shape and his brows were slightly raised. His cheeks had even begun turning into a deep red.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t-” he mumbled, trailing off at the end.

You raised your hand to your head, feeling a headache coming on, “no, I’m sorry. Honestly, I’m a little stressed out,” you admitted.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me about it. Like, if you want,” he looked at you expectantly, with a concerned expression adorning his face.

“It’s just my mom. She has a lot of expectations for me. It’s stressful sometimes, y’know,” he nodded at your words, waiting for you to continue, “It’s overwhelming. I don’t really know what to do. It’s like she’s been controlling my life for so long that I don’t even know what I want to do without her telling me,” you finished.

It felt good letting it all out, and for some reason, you felt comfortable telling Mark about it. He seemed to really listen to you, like he actually cared.

“Have you ever talked to her about it?” he asked.

“No, she’s not the best listener,” he nodded again.

“Then I think right now all you can do is try to figure out what you actually want for yourself. Like what’s something you really want to do? Like bucket list stuff,” he asked with wide eyes.

“I dunno, maybe a road trip,” you said the first thing that came to mind, mentally slapping yourself at how lame the answer was. “I’ve never really been anywhere,” you explained simply. “Kind of lame,”

He shook his head, “It's not lame if it’s something you want.” You only nodded in response.

“What you want is important, Y/N. Even if you don't know exactly what that is yet.”

6. I hate that he is everywhere

[monday]

“It’s not my fault,” Haechan rolled his eyes at your shocked expression as he spoke.

“Haechan,” you said slowly, “I really shouldn’t have to explain it to you,” you shook your head in his direction.

You were walking down the main commons area in your school, killing time before your next class.

“If someone says to you, hey! Can I borrow your hanger, how am I supposed to guess that they’ll-” he stopped speaking suddenly, a smile breaking out on his face, “look there’s your boy,” he nodded slightly in the direction ahead of you.

You looked up, almost immediately spotting Mark. He was smiling brightly as he spoke to a girl beside him. She looked to be familiar, maybe from the year below you. You watched as they laughed together, heads falling back as if they were in a movie. You had to admit, they made a cute couple.

“He’s not my boy,” you shoved your friend with light force, ignoring the tight feeling in your chest.

“Don’t worry, pretty sure she’s dating Jeno. Actually no, I’m super sure, every time I see them, they’re sucking face,” he grimaces at the notion, furrowing his brows tightly as if remembering the image vividly.

You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, “Why would I worry?”

“Okay, y/n,” he matched your expression, shrugging in the same way you did.

7. I hate that his car smells just like him

[Tuesday]

“No it’s fine, I’ll just find a way home,” you glanced at Mark, whose eyes were on you already. “No, Haechan don’t worry about it. I’ll text you later,” you hung the phone up and looked up at the boy ahead of you.

After you opened up to Mark the previous week, he had begun taking a seat next to you in class. It seemed like you had become friends, or acquaintances at least. That felt weird to even think about. You and Mark were friends? No, acquaintances, you were just acquaintances.

“Everything okay?” he asked, gathering his belongings.

“Yea, I just have to walk home,” you answered absentmindedly before standing.

“I can, like, give you a ride,” he offered nonchalantly, standing in front of you.

“You drive?”

He smirked at the question, “just got a new car,”

“Okay then, if it’s no trouble,” you agreed, nodding at him. It was super weird how comfortable you were around him now. There were still things you very much disliked about him, but getting to know him had shown you that there were some things you hadn’t known at all.

“Alright,” he smiled in your general direction before leading the way. You had grown used to his quick pace, keeping up with ease now.

“It’s nice right,” he pats the old black car lightly, as if he was afraid something would fall off.

“Super nice,” you agreed with a grin.

You both walked to your respective sides and slid into your seats quietly. You were immediately hit with the smell of watermelon air freshener and the cologne Mark usually wore.

“You can put your address in,” he pointed to the GPS on the car and you promptly typed it in.

There was a lasting awkward silence after that, Mark focusing diligently on driving while you were focused on counting the red cars that went by. You wondered how long it would take for someone to say something. Eventually, Mark just put on the radio, hoping to fill the silence.

He winced slightly at the country song that began playing, “You wanna hear one of my songs,” he said suddenly, a small smile accompanying his words.

“Sure,” you were actually curious, seeing as you had never heard him rap seriously, only hearing his mumbles when he was bored.

“Press the acronym one,” he said, handing you his phone, eyes still trained on the road. It was almost comical how focused he was while driving whereas during tutoring sessions he was always distracted.

“Que-tay, uhm, qwe-ta,” you tried pronouncing the acronym, eliciting a laughing fit from Mark. His laugh was so innocent you couldn’t help but smile along even though you didn’t know what was so funny.

“Key-tah,” he finally said with a smile.

“Ah,” you nodded, turning the volume up.

The song started off subtly, with a chill beat that matched the atmosphere in the car. You could see Mark’s light blush peeking from your peripheral as the song went on. By the time the second verse began, Mark was humming along before finally fully rapping alongside himself. Again, you were reminded of how addictive his voice was.

He seemed so passionate at that moment, so confident. He was showing a side to himself that you hadn’t seen before. Someone so comfortable where he was. Someone truly in their element.

“I get why you want to do music,” you commented as the song ended.

“Why?”

“You love it. I can tell. It’s like more than just a career for you, it’s a part of you,” you said matter of factly. The statement confused you to some degree. You had never seen someone so comfortable in their element. You hated to admit it but you were even a little jealous.

He smiled at that notion, “It is a part of me. Ever since I was young, my dad taught me how to play guitar and that really just jump started my love for it.” You nodded in understanding before picking a random Frank Ocean song on his playlist.

“You should come to my showcase next week, I just got offered a spot today,” he said suddenly. You were completely shocked that he had asked you.

“You can bring your friend, I think our whole class is going. It’s supposed to be an end of finals celebration” ah, everyone was going.

“Okay,” you accepted simply, heat rushing to your cheeks for an unknown reason.

“just put your number in my phone, I’ll send the details later,”

The car ride from then on was more comfortable. What was once an awkward silence had become a relaxed atmosphere where you and Mark would chat about random things like the music on his playlist or the watermelon screensaver on his phone.

8. I hate that he thinks can pull one over on me

[wednesday]

“tutor girl, what’s up?” Mark crashed down into the seat in front of you, setting down a drink carrier from his cafe and a bag.

“Hi, Mark,” you greeted with a smile, shaking your head at his noisy entrance.

“Here you go,” he pushed an Iced Americano in your direction, following with the white bag.

“Oh, thank you, you didn’t have to get me anything,” you watched the smile on his face widen as he shook his head.

“It’s the least I could I could do for my favorite tutor,” your felt your cheeks get hot until you remembered one very important detail.

“I’m your only tutor, and you still have to take the full practice test,” you said sternly, putting the straw in the coffee quickly.

“Come on,” he whined out before starting a whole argumentative speech about how the practice tests were annoying.

9. I hate that he doubts himself

[thursday]

“I mean, and I say this with full respect,” Mark began, “I truly don’t think I’m going to do that well,” he admitted, toying with the drawstring of his hoodie.

“Mark, just because you say with full respect, doesn’t make it more respectful,” you said with a grin, “but seriously, you’ve been doing so well on your practice quizzes. Over 60% every time, which is way better than what we started with,” you admitted, wincing a bit at the last statement you let slip out.

“Still, that’s not a passing grade,” he shrugged, utterly defeated as he picked up the essay rubric from his desk. His usual brighter than the sun smile had disappeared, leaving you feeling uncomfortably cold.

“Honestly your lack of trust in my tutoring skills is beginning to annoy me,”

“No, dude, I trust you,” your eyes flew to him at that statement. He was still pondering over the paper in front of him as he continued, “I just feel like I suck at this stupid subject,” he threw the paper back onto the table at that statement.

You found yourself giving a pep talk without even a second thought “No, you don’t. You’re caught on quickly. You’re so smart but you need to stop second-guessing yourself. You’re going to do well. Even better than well because you have my help.”

“Thanks, tutor girl. I appreciate you,” you could tell he was sincere because he had met your eyes, even if just for a split second. It was the first time he had ever looked you in your eyes and it was making you feel things.

“I’m serious though, you are way smarter than you give yourself credit for, and you should know that you are no matter what score you get on this stupid test,” you finish, grinning as the smile returned on his face.

“Okay,” he nodded lightly as he stood waiting for you to join him.

You chuckled lightly at the boy as you looked up at him, “What is it, Mark?” he had a sheepish look on his face as if he was nervous about something other than the obvious.

“uhm well,” He was looking intently at you when you didn’t notice, waiting for any signs that he was annoying you.

“Actually, there’s something I was going to ask you,” a light blush found its way onto his cheeks as he spoke. You nodded in his direction waiting for whatever he had to say, looking up to find his eyes on you.

At that moment you noticed almost like for the first time how pretty his eyes were. They were so doe-like and innocent, you couldn’t stop staring.

To outsiders, you both would have seemed very odd as you stood just staring at each other.

“Well, I-”

“Y/N, hurry- oh shoot, sorry,” Haechan’s voice rang from the doorway, pulling you out of whatever trance you had been in.

“I’m almost done,” you widened your eyes in Haechan’s direction for emphasis, looking back at Mark who had already looked away. “What were you saying, Mark?”

He smiled lightly for a moment, “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing important,”

You furrowed your brows lightly, “You sure.”

“Yeah, we’ll talk later,”

10. I hate that I don’t hate him

[Friday]

“I told you so,” Haechan was grinning ear to ear as he joined you on your walk to class.

“I could name ten things I hate about him, yeah right,” He laughed to himself suddenly, mocking your old statement. “Imagine my shock seeing your face a few inches away from his. I should’ve taken a picture.”

“Shut up,” you pushed him lightly, finally reaching the door to the lit class.

“I’ll see you afterwards, good luck,” he said, sending you a final wave before walking away.

It was the test date and you were sure that Mark was nervous. As soon as you got into the room, you noticed his fingers tapping violently on the desk, his single mechanical pencil clattering as it jumped around. He was there early, earlier than you were and that was saying something. The room was empty except for the two of you, even despite you being only about fifteen minutes early.

“Mark,” you had to call his name a second time to get his attention. “Mark, relax,” you took the seat next to him and swiftly grabbed his chattering hand in your own. You watched as his leg began bouncing up and down as if it were mocking the pencil’s previous movement, “Mark, breathe,” his eyes were glued to something in the distance, his breath labored.

“Shit, I’m not prepared,” he muttered quietly, “I should have done another quiz,” he breathed out. “and I can’t fucking breathe,” he clenched his brows at the last statement, his breathing coming out as quick huffs.

“Look at me, Mark,” you reached up to turn his chin towards you. “I think you’re having an anxiety attack,” you said the words slowly, hoping to not make it any worse.

“You have to breathe, I’m right here and I’m not going to let go of you,” you squeezed lightly on his hand to emphasize your words.

“You’ve studied and studied. You’ve worked hard. You’re going to do well. All you have to do now is relax and breathe. In and out,” his eyes were glued to yours before he finally closed them altogether and began taking slow deep breaths.

“I’m here with you, and we’re both going to destroy this thing,” he nodded slowly at your words, opening them a few minutes later as his breathing reached a normal pace and his leg stopped bouncing.

You released his hand in the next second, sending him a small smile.

“I’m glad you’re with me,” was the last thing he said before people began filing into the room.

[Monday]

“I know what you’ve all been waiting for. I have your graded finals,” Your professor had waited until the end of the day to finally share the news, leaving everyone anxious.

It was utterly silent as he passed them around, only the sound of him saying a quick “see me after class,” to Mark, who immediately winced at the statement. You couldn’t help but furrow your brows in confusion, noticing that Mark hadn’t received his test back.

“Class is dismissed,” he pointed towards the doorway after delivering the final test, smiling lightly at the people whose arms were thrown up in celebration.

Your score wasn’t that big of a surprise, you had gotten what was expected of you. You were way more interested in Mark. So you decided to wait outside the door, watching as students filed out.

It seemed like hours had passed while you were waiting for him. You mindlessly scrolled through your phone, completely missing the sounds of someone walking up to you, that someone being Mark himself.

You yelped in surprise as you were lifted off of your feet and spun around in the air.

“What the hell,” was all you said as the boy set you down.

“Y/N, Look!” he exclaimed, handing you the test with a huge eighty-five percent scribbled in red on the top right corner of the sheet.

“Mark, I told you, you could do it,” you hugged the smiling boy, grinning brightly at him.

“I couldn’t have without you, Y/N,” the sincerity in his eyes as they bore into your own was making you melt on the spot.

“No more tutor girl?” you asked, grin never falling.

“You’ll always be tutor girl but, uh,” he paused as if deep in thought for a moment, “I really like spending time with you. I think it will be weird not seeing you all the time,” you nodded in agreement, realizing that the semester had ended, meaning it was summer break.

“Well, we’re friends now right. We can still hang out,” you offered, watching as the boy looked down with a look you couldn’t decipher.

“Um, I know we’re friends, but,” he stepped a little closer to you, “I was wondering like, y’know if it’s possible, if you maybe wanna,” he continued to stumble over his words. You couldn’t help but smile at his very awkward, very cute way of asking you what you already knew he was getting at.

“Mark, do you want to go out sometime,” you finally blurted, chuckling at his pink face.

“Yes, I would like that a lot,” he said nodding.

“I don’t know if you knew but uhm, I mean it was before, but basically um, I’m sorry I judged you before, Mark,” you apologized suddenly watching as he shook his head in dismissal. It had been on your mind for a while even despite him not knowing.

“I knew you felt that way before. That’s kind of why I was so like reluctant to have you as my tutor,” he grabbed your hand and squeezed lightly.

“That’s why you were so weird the day he told us,” you nodded in understanding remembering the look Mark gave you when you were first introduced, as if you spat in his drink. In his defense you deserved it.

“Honestly, yeah,” he confessed, “but in your defense, I am kind of an acquired taste,”

“That’s not an excuse. I was an idiot,” you admitted, “Mark, you’re amazing,” he smiled lightly at your last statement, taking the time to just look at you. His brown eyes were like a pool, drawing you in until you sank, unable to stop staring.

He reached out, cupping your cheek with his hand before speaking, “Can I kiss you?”

You only nodded in response, waiting patiently as he lowered his head towards your face until he was less than a centimeter away. It felt like hours had passed until his lips grazed yours, allowing a tingling sensation to move throughout your body.

In a flash, your arms were around his neck and he was holding onto you delicately, like you would break if he was too rough. He tasted like a mixture of mint and watermelon gum. His warm foresty and floral scent was filling your senses, actively intoxicating you as his lips moved against yours rhythmically. The kiss was greater than any apology you could have given him since it was full of the emotion you couldn’t fully articulate. Mark was fully focused on you in the moment, lips moving against yours like a magnet.

“I told you to become friends, not make out in public,” you heard Haechan’s voice interrupt, causing you to immediately pull away from the boy in front of you. You couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably at Haechan's mortified face and Mark’s intense blush.

“Sorry,” Mark muttered quietly, smiling as he looked down at you.

Haechan walked towards the older boy, looping a hand around his shoulder as he spoke, “Y’know, I always saw this coming. She said she didn’t like you, but a best friend always knows,” you could only shake your head as Mark looked back at you as if asking for help. You could hear Haechan going on and on about his premonitions as you trailed behind the two boys, feeling a sense of happiness you hadn’t felt in a long time.

Mark was someone you could never see yourself with. He was loud, always distracted, obnoxious, stubborn, and mysterious. But he was also kind, deliberate, hard-working, smart, infectiously positive, and beautiful. You didn’t know when the thought struck you, but as you looked up at the brunette boy walking ahead you finally knew what you wanted. You wanted him by your side for as long as possible.

#nct #nct mark #nct mark imagines #nct imagines #nct dream #nct 127 #superm #nct fluff #mark scenarios #nct 127 fic #mark lee #mark lee fic #mark lee x reader #nct au #lee mark #pls enjoy

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fenweak · 4 years

Photo

High School AUs

College/University AUs

⭐ A+ fics (imho) | All of the recs

High School AUs

High Scores by popfly ⭐

Kaner is a DDR master, Jonny is ultra-competitive. Bollig just wants to make out with Shawzy.

Dynamical Systems by jezziejay ⭐ - math geek patrick! jock jonny!

Jonny’s plenty smart, but there’s hockey practice just before a double math period every Tuesday and Wednesday morning. He gets to class on time. Physically, he’s there. But his mind is still on the ice. Throw in a kidney infection that keeps him home for two weeks, and Jonny’s struggling. Not failing, but that C is dragging his GPA down, and his mom is making clucking noises. The same noises that mean hockey time is coming up for review.

There’s a note on the student boards advertising tutoring.

promise i'm worthy (to hold in your arms) [One and Only series] - teenage angst and american douchebags ft. ryan kesler

"So come on and give me a chance to prove I am the one who can walk that mile."

love is a contact sport by hazel, mermaid ⭐ - high school soulmates!

"And the tragic reality of Patrick's life is that even though they broke up over a year ago, he and Johnny still play beautiful hockey together."

A high school AU, featuring dream-fish, bad movie dates, and a little bit of magic.

Movie Nights or Five Times Jonny Wanted Popcorn (and One Time He Didn’t) by CoffeeKristin

Patrick had only been working at the movie theater a few weeks when a noisy bunch of boys from his high school burst through the doors just before the last showing of Captain America: Civil War and come tumbling into the lobby, whooping it up. He sighed and put down the containers of popcorn he was counting, mentally preparing himself for the asshattery he was likely to endure.

“What can I get you?” he asked the crowd, and true to form, no one was listening so he waited another moment. Finally one of the boys got pushed to the front, stumbling into the counter. “Fuck, Duncs, not so hard,” he said, and oh. That was Jonathan Toews: Captain of the high school soccer team, president of the student council, son of the mayor. Basically, everything Patrick wasn’t.

do it how you want it done ⭐

(very vaguely) grease-inspired high school au.

yeah, i went there.

kissing your honeyed eyes by forochel

The one that's the British boarding school AU.

This Is What A Love Song Sounds Like by fourfreedoms ⭐ - reunion fic but god the flashbacks! the angst!

When he came out after his freshman year of college his mother said she’d always known, and he’d had to fight down the bizarre wave of paranoia that maybe everybody knew, maybe they’d all just been letting him sweat all those years. It was crazy of course, there was only one person who’d known, who had any idea.Patrick Kane.

Ten years after they fucked around in high school, Patrick and Jonny meet back up at their high school reunion.

roll with it by hazel ⭐

The one where a bunch of Blackhawks inexplicably go to boarding school, Tazer is the world's meanest DM, and Pat doesn't know why anyone would think cutting the head off a hydra was good idea.

Light Me Up by sahiya - where they both went to Shattuck!

Being serious about hockey always meant Patrick would have to leave home. For a long time he thought it would be for juniors and a billet family. But things don't go as planned, and he finds himself at Shattuck-St. Mary's.

His roommate's name is Jonathan Toews. He can't keep his water bottles on his side of the room, and he's unfortunately, stupidly hot. Because Patrick's life sucks.

boot theory by mentalistecbm - teen angst, break up

Everyone knows that they're broken up.

glory days by liketheroad ⭐ - soulmate, teen angst

He never expected his destiny to involve anything but hockey, never thought it would show up in flip flops, but when Patrick smiles at him across the locker room, quick and surprised, Johnny lets his priorities shift and change without a hint of reluctance or regret.

There's Only Blood Running In My Veins by mikarala - pwp

Patrick and Jonny are making out in Patrick’s bedroom when Jonny says it. “I--I,” he stutters out, in between a moan, “I want you to fuck me.”

Gold Seeking Ends by liveinfury - Flipped AU

“Wanna go on the tire swing with me after?” Jonny asks.

“No,” Patrick answers.

“Oh,” Jonny says, looking deflated. “What about the jungle gym?”

“Nope."

“Um, okay,” Jonny says, shrugging before walking away.Sam giggles some more. “I can’t believe Jonny, the dirt eater, likes you.”Patrick smirks at him. “Everyone likes me.”

(or Patrick and Jonny meet in the second grade. Jonny's instantly smitten, Patrick is...not. Ten years later, things start flipping.)

Keep Calm and Don't Think of Star Wars podfic by exmanhater ⭐ - A Clueless AU

After I once again assure Abby that Johnny and I are not, NOT related (by googling the difference between half-brother and stepbrother because jesus fucking christ am I am the only knowledgeable one around here?), she agrees to help.

but i can write a song

“We’re not going to be called Jonny and the Patricks,” Jonny says, sounding entirely too put upon about a name that’s clearly awesome.

[or; the high school band au you probably didn't ask for]

lost in brightness - pat, jon and a crowded train

“You’re gonna get caught one day,” Jonny sighs, herding Pat in front of him as they squeeze onto the train, the crowd thicker than usual. It’s been raining on and off, fall well and truly taking the city in its grasp. Jonny’s already looking forward to meeting Pat by his house every morning, red-cheeked and rugged up, his face barely visible between his toque and scarf.

you're mending what's broken - a stats nerd Patrick story

The guy who sits behind Jonny in AP Stats wants to know how many shots on goal he had last Tuesday. Or at least, that's how it starts.

A high school AU featuring stats nerd Kaner and his Tragic Hockey Backstory (TM), without much time or inclination toward actual tragedy. Instead there is discussion of Corsi. And kissing.

Examine Other Beauties by kiwoa - theater kids!

"I," Jonny says, and he slips his headset up from around his neck to nestle over his ears, "am not an actor."

"Good thing I don't need you to act."

"No."

"Jonny."

"Patrick."

"Please?" Kaner cants forward and tilts his face up to blink at Jonny. In the fluttering light that filters in from the stage, his eyes look unnaturally pale. "Just read the lines, okay? I want to see how well I've memorized them."

Jonny scrubs a hand over his face. The motion knocks his mike askew. "One scene."

A/S/L ⭐ - 90s teenaged kids meeting on webcam omg

The internet is a dangerous place, or:

Patrick and Jonny meet, lie through their teeth, and fall in love. Mostly that last part.

Actual Prom King Brandon Saad by popfly ⭐

Patrick might be a little jealous of the new kid.

Sure Brandon is basically the prom king from every feel-good teenage movie Patrick’s sisters have made him watch, but that doesn’t mean Jonny wants that.

Sign it with your heart by tictactoews + podfic by exmanhater ⭐

Patrick loses a bet and is dared to plant an anonymous love letter into a random locker. It just so happens that the locker belongs to one Jonathan Toews, captain of the school hockey team.Meanwhile, Jonny finds himself in need of a math tutor, and following the advice of his teacher, he asks the new kid, Patrick Kane, for help.

a complicated kindness by liketheroad - young and figuring out d/s ⭐

Patrick still remembers how scared Sharpy looked, just for a second there. He remembers not understanding why anyone would back away from Johnny when he was like that, why they wouldn’t want to strain closer, pushing to see how much further he’d go.

What Comes Easy by impertinence - summer camp of angst

Kaner's determined to never grow up; Tazer's determined to grow up as quickly as possible. Over eleven years of summer camp, they learn to meet in the middle. Set in stlkrchk's Camp Quaquanantuck universe.

mathletes are totally athletes by ukiyo91, yukonecho

Mathlete Patrick Kane never thought that when he was assigned to tutor hockey jock Jonathan Toews that he would be swept up into a new sport...or into Captain Serious.

Toews was like the guild leader Patrick had always aspired to be in WoW, but more of an asshole.

i'll be the embrace that keeps you warm by longtime_lurker - huddling for warmth

It is like death, but it is not death; lovelier. / Cold, inconvenienced, late, what will you do now / with the gift of your left life?

Clumsy by CoffeeKristin - a short first kiss fic uwu

“Knock it off,” she hissed at him. “He’s looking at you!”

“Who?” Patrick said, his head swiveling around, resulting in Erica smacking him again. “Hey! Quit hitting me!”

“Then quit being an idiot,” she huffed. “Jonny Toews, you dunce. He’s looking over here, and you’re biting on the string of your hoodie like a moron.”

look around once in a while by achilleees

One man’s struggle to take it easy.

Based off of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” but instead of girlfriends and daddy issues, there’s hockey and pining. And daddy issues.

Summer Lovin' by CoffeeKristin - est. relationship insecurities

Patrick's home from summer camp, and Jonny's first on his list of to-do's. Somehow a little actual angst/plot worked it's way in. But mostly it's just porn.

Ninety-Nine Point Three Percent by jimtiberiuskirk - best friends mutually pining

The problem is, is that Patrick is 99.3% sure that Jonny knows all about his giant, embarrassing man-crush on him.

bring it if you really want it by staraflur - harry potter AU

It starts like this:

Well, okay, Patrick has no idea how it actually starts. But as pertains to him (in other words, the important part), it goes a little something like so:

America, being a nation composed in large part of a melting pot of immigrants who may or may not have taken over land already owned by others using less-than-savory means, doesn’t have much of a magical national identity. Much less a magical continental identity. There’s no grand heritage going back thousands of years. Magical families home-schooled all their kids until, like, the 1800’s, and tough for the muggle-born, apparently. Hopefully you got noticed by someone who knew what to do with you before you got burned at the stake. Since you probably can’t control your powers, sport.

(if you're feeling down) i can feel you up by hawkeytime

"Hey," Patrick said appreciatively from behind where Jonny stood, stoic as always, by the side of the pool. "Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a sweet ass.”Or: How Patrick Kane spent his summer hitting on the hot lifeguard with the help of some inspired (read: awful) pickup lines.

kiss and tell by hawkeytime

“Trust me,” Sharpy says, “this will be good for you.”And then, he shoves Jonny into what appears to be a mostly empty coat closet and slams the door shut behind him.

“What the fuck, Sharp!” Jonny calls, pounding at the door which is, of course, locked.

“Enjoy your seven minutes in heaven, Tazer,” Sharpy singsongs.Then, the bare bulb mounted on the ceiling flares to life, illuminating one Patrick Kane.

Fuck.

i know you are (but what am i) by booktubelover7 - always a girl!pat

Pat throws up her arms in celebration after Toews makes a beautiful goal off of Pat’s assist. She crows in celebration as Toews slams into her, shouting in her ear.

Pat’s playing, she’s playing, she’s playing. Not just that, but she’s winning too.When her line gets back to the bench, Pat leans over to speak into Toews’ ear. “Thank you,” she says. Her teammate just turns his head to look at her, a grin spreading across his face.

Love or Torture - a/b/o

Patrick Kane is too short, too Omega, and his heat too delayed for him to play hockey. Jonathan Toews has a plan to bring glory to both of them.

keep buying the stars by medusacascade22- teacher!Jonny

“Fuck,” Jonny groans. He props his elbows up on his desk and lets his head fall into his hands. It’s going to be a long fucking year.

(or, in which Jonathan Toews is Patrick Kane's teacher, and shit gets real.)

College/Uni AUs

cello suite no. 1 - THIS IS ONE IS A CLASSIC 👌

The first time Jonathan meets Patrick Kane is because he hits him with a lacrosse ball.

In Jonathan's defense, he threw a perfect pass to Seabs, who failed to just reach the one or two feet above his head to catch it.

"Oh shit," Jonathan says when he watched the ball arc across the lawn and whack a blond kid squarely between his shoulder blades.

"Heads up!" he calls belatedly.

this is how we do it series by staraflur ⭐ - frat bros AU!!!

He doesn’t think Zeus is supposed to have a sword, but their Zeus does. So now Jonny does, because of course he’s in charge. He looks, Patrick is drunk enough to acknowledge, far better than anyone has a right to in a grody old Halloween costume that’s probably soaked up the butt sweat of dozens, if not hundreds, of Theta-presidents past. Jonny wears it, Patrick gets the sword. Win-win.

AKA that time there was a frat AU (of course).

This Heart Is Not For Wasting by fourfreedoms - oblivious best friends

Patrick puts his head in his hands. “How could this get any worse?”

“Wait, it’s not like, a big deal is it?” Duncs asks, looking at him and Jonny in turn. “The way you and Jonny are weird about each other? She’s gotta have made her peace with it ages ago.”

A college AU.

love song for love songs by boodreaus ⭐ - angst, internalized homophobia

“Right,” Jonny says. “Cool.” He seems to hesitate, pausing when Patrick goes for the door handle, and then, right as Patrick’s bracing himself to run for the house, Jonny says, “You should come.”

Patrick turns back at him and is handed a piece of paper. “To our next show, I mean,” Jonny is saying as Patrick examines what turns out to be a flyer, thick black lettering taking up every square inch of space on the brilliant sunshine-colored surface. “It’s tomorrow night, at the showcase. Feel free to say yes or no or whatever. If you don’t know, it’s cool.”

“I’ll,” Patrick starts, and then stops, blinking up at him. Jonny’s just watching him, kind of, elbow resting on the steering wheel. “Maybe,” he finally says, and Jonny smiles.

yet we will make him run - some more angst, except more erudite

Kaner the English Lit major AU.

Sigma Chi series by hatrickane - frat bros hook up and then angst about it

Jonny and Patrick run into each other at a frat party. Patrick proposes a way to pass the time.

Can't Wait by LouLa - first time pwp

Pat's on a hair trigger.

when you flex like that - hookup in a frat party

Johnny isn’t drunk, but he does let Sharpy and a couple of frat-looking guys he doesn’t even know talk him into a contest of shots. It’s Sharpy’s fault — he appeals to the competitive side he knows Johnny can’t let go of at the best of times, and one of the guys, blonde curls, a lazy smirk of a grin, picks up on it pretty fast too.

Hope you don't mind by haroldslouis

“Oh, sorry, man,” the guy says, giving him a quick grin. “Thought you were someone else.” He taps the visor of Patrick’s snapback and just like that, he turns around and disappears into the crowd.Patrick doesn’t know how long he stands there, just looking at the general direction he disappeared in.

or, 5 times Jonny mistook Patrick for someone else + 1 time he definitely didn't

Room 4 Rent

Patrick stares at the ad for a while, clicking back and forth between the Craigslist page and his fantasy hockey league, chewing on his bottom lip.

3 bedroom apartment near Loyola. One room available, others occupied by two male students. Shared living room and kitchen. Two bathrooms. Rent split three ways. Email [email protected] or call 773-639-7812 for more info. No texts please.

are you buying what i'm selling? - frat party buddies

The Sigma Chi Halloween Bash is in a week, Jonny’s holding two tickets, and he has nobody to go with.

He had a somebody to go with, until that somebody decided Jonny’s student athlete life wasn’t worth hanging around for. Their relationship was already tanking anyway; Jonny’s more upset about potentially wasting a $40 ticket than that shit ending. Whatever.

Just A Spark by heartstrings ⭐ - magical realism!

In a desperate attempt to hide his feelings from the object of his affections, Patrick accidentally drinks a love potion that causes the people around him to fall for him. Too bad it seems to work on everyone but Jonny.

do you know who you are? by liveinfury - frat bros

“Sure, Cap. I’ll try to keep it quiet.” Patrick winks at Jonny. “But be honest, you like the noises I make, huh?”

“What? Of course not!" Jonny sputters. "I’m not gay!”

(or where Jonny can't figure out why he feels so uneasy when Patrick brings guys home to their frat house).

The Great Desk Assembly Project - they were roommates

“I’m going to nail some shit,” he says. “Jonny, come watch me nail some shit.”

“We share a room, I don’t need to watch you nail anything else.”

“That’s not what you were saying last night,” Pat says with a laugh in his voice. He reaches back behind him and punches Jonny in the shoulder for good measure.

No, It's Not A Secret by SimoneClouseau ⭐ - always a girl Jonny

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your boyfriend. No way, no way. I think you need a new one.

Jehanne Toews is dating a loser. Sometimes it takes a ridiculous awesome young star on the Blackhawks to see the light.

good form - always a girl Pat! ⭐

“Best head of your life?”

“Yes, he was better than you, you competitive motherfucker.” Hayds says it like it’s a joke, like it’s funny, like it’s not the single most devastating thing a girl could say to Pat.

“A hockey bro gave you the best head of your goddamn life? Am I in the fucking Upside Down?”

“Believe it, baby. Jonathan Toews: hockey bro and magical pussy-eating wizard.”

forever i'll try for you and i by staraflur - always girls Jon and Pat!

It’s extra great—whenever Jo’s losing, she always makes like their running point tally competition isn’t real. Tonight’s true to form: when Trish holds up three fingers and points at herself, then two before pointing at Jo, Jo actually scoffs as she pokes at a couple chicken breasts with the tongs, trying to find the best one.

remedial at love - jonny ‘i'm great at math but the math tutor's really hot so i'm gonna pretend i'm not' toews

There have been a lot of things Kaner’s done that could be considered suspect. He chose the Backstreet Boys over Nsync for the Kane Dance-Off Championship when he was 15. He opted to go to Disneyland instead of Disney World for his high school graduation present. He frosted his tips after coming out in 12th grade because he thought that was like, the obvious thing to do until he realized this was not, in actuality, the 90s.

But this one. Calling up ‘Jtoews’ and requesting tutelage in math when he was a fucking wiz at math was -- the most highly suspect of all.

Drink yourself under, fuck yourself over by Mythisea

Jonathan Toews is the sophomore captain of the college hockey team. Patrick Kane recently quit hockey before coming to college.

Jonny thinks Patrick would be perfect on his wing. Patrick would rather be drinking. Jonny does not approve.

Make The Moves Up As I Go by agirlnamedfia - tutor!Jonny with a dash of angst and pining

Patrick has his first Econ 202 class on the second day of the spring semester. It doesn’t exactly go well.

how to make boys-next-door out of assholes series by bessyboo, thisissirius - textfic

Yo man, Sharpy's having a party tonight. You up for it or you gonna be a boring shit and study???

it's only you and me by crystaljules - graduation blues

"We're so fucking stupid."

Overdosed on Confidence by runphoebe ⭐ - fwb, internalized homophobia

“Someone could -,” Jonny starts, breaking off when Patrick ducks down to draw Jonny’s lips against his, kissing him fever-hot and wet and desperate. Jonny’d be embarrassed by how hungrily he responds, but he knows Pat’s into it, moaning unashamedly into Jonny’s mouth when he tightens a hand around Pat’s neck. “Someone could see,” he finally gets out, voice rough, when Patrick pulls back, as if Patrick’s supposed to believe that that’s any sort of protest.

Patrick licks his lips, the hint of a smirk playing at the corners of them in that familiar way like when Patrick's got a particularly bad idea on his mind. “Guess you better be quick then, huh?” he says cryptically, waggling his eyebrows at Jonny. Jonny’s a second away from rolling his eyes and asking what he means when Patrick slithers off Jonny’s lap and onto his knees on the floor beneath Jonny’s table and - oh. Oh.

Silence Gives You Space by liveinfury - pining, misunderstandings

“Have you been avoiding me?”

“’Course not,” Patrick says. “I’m just letting you do your own thing.”

“My own thing?”

“Yeah, didn’t want to crowd your space,” Patrick blurts out. Fuck, he didn’t mean to actually say that.“You’re not…”

“Cool.”

tuck you in - getting together

“You sexiled again?" He smirks and stuffs down the fondness that rolls through him at theway Jonny’s hair is rumpled and a little bit wavy.

Jonny sits up slowly, groaning. “Yeah. Fuck, this is the third time in a week and a half.”

obvious from the start - radio DJs Pat and Jon!

It’s not like Patrick even likes radio, because he hasn’t really listened to anything that’s not on his iPod or his Pandora stations in years, but when he notices the red and white flyer advertising the student radio station on the ground, he picks it up with the excuse that he’s trying to be environmentally friendly.When he played hockey they told Patrick that he was too small, too short to be a hockeyplayer; that he’d never make it because of his size. Hockey is, was, his heart and soul, and he’d put years and years of his life into the one thing he knew he was good at; threw his very being into the best he could be to prove that he can do it, be the best, even if he was small.

Patrick supposes maybe he'll find something else that he’s just as good at.

stupid college boys series by 19trash88 - Jonny is the cute guy from Econ class

Patrick’s not one to wax poetic about a penis, but if ever there was a reason to, Jonathan Toews’ cock would be at the top of the list.

Green Light by heartstrings - friends to lovers

Patrick knows two things: he likes sex and he likes Jonny. If Jonny's newly single there's no reason not to combine the two. Right?

Everybody Wants to Touch Some(body Paragraphs) by Kerfluffle ⭐

Wherein Jonny writes the worst essay ever, and weirdness abounds.

Motivation by somethingnerdythiswaycomes ⭐ - pwp

Only Jonny could keep working on his LIT-110 paper while Patrick was getting himself off next to him. Fuck, but Patrick loved him so much.

Muse series by by somethingnerdythiswaycomes

So Jonny had applied for every damn job he was qualified for, even the "life model" one TJ goaded him into.So Jonny had received an email the next day asking for his availability to come in for a session.So, as it turned out, it wasn’t some random chick that was going to draw him. It was some random dude.

So "life model" apparently meant "nude model."

You Love Me, I Love You Harder So by leyley09 - overly competitive boys on the hockey team

Patrick circles around him at center ice. “Jonathan, my team is going to kick your team’s ass so hard your parents will be embarrassed without even knowing why.”“I’m gonna give you a lesson in goal scoring you’ll never forget.”“Toews, you couldn’t give me a lesson in long distance spitting. Anything you can do, I can do better.”“Oh yeah?”“I can do anything better than you.”

Jonathan Toews is used to be being the best. He has zero clue what to do with competition.

Especially when the competition is cute.

middle ground by boodreaus - college road trip, friends to lovers

Jonny, Patrick, and an excellent adventure.

Who Knew by themistrollsin

Jonathan and Patrick meet after they're forced to go to a party by their best friends (Adam and Brent respectively).

Night Moves by heartstrings - meetcute

After a series of unfortunate drunk events that lead him from falling into a snowbank to being laughed at by the police, Jonny meets Patrick in an elevator.

Ignite My Fire, Object Of My Desire by ThalassicThedes ⭐- theater boys!!!

A good ol' fashioned College Au in which the college itself is hardly even mentioned. Just... make of this what you will.

absolute beginners by heartstrings, thundersquall

That time Jonny walked into a diner and accidentally got himself a temporary fake boyfriend.

Like A Classic - royalty!Jonny

So: due to a series of complicated and improbable events involving some sort of life debt and signed promise from two generations ago, it was decreed that Patrick had to marry the Crown Prince of Canada.

Captain Oblivious by wantstothrill - royalty!Pat

Why would Jonny care about the American royal family visiting his university? He's Canadian. He hasn't paid any attention to Prince Patrick since he was a teenager. He's more concerned with the very hot guy he's just run into, who's name also happens to be Patrick. What a coincidence.

check out the high school AUs tag aaand the college AUs tag @ 1988rebloggedfic!

#patrick kane #jonathan toews #hockey rpf #blackhawks #chicago blackhawks #1988 #1988 fic rec #for any corrections and suggestions DM ME!!!#i think the best part of making these reclists for me is thinking up cheesy names for a theme and creating the banner lol

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sweetiejunie · 4 years

Text

Tonight

Summary: who would have guessed one of the best nights of your life would start with a stranger

Genre: fluff

Beomgyu x reader (ft. Soobin)

a/n: inspired by one of my favourite songs- ‘dont say goodnight’ by hot chelle rae

=====================================

Your pov:

Dressed in black skinny jeans, a fitted shirt and heels, you sat at the corner of the bar, watching as your friends were busy on the dance floor. Surrounded by sweaty bodies and horny men trying to get their attention by grinding on them. The music is all nineteen nineties but they were dancing like it was a jive, twisting, turning, holding hands as they change sides. They were all grins, and even though they looked like idiots, they didn't care.

Scoffing at the sight, you tried to recall why you agreed to go to the club at on a friday in the first place. It was nearly 1am and you were bored out of your mind. You were never one for overly crowded places or deafeningly loud music. You could always just leave, but you had already paid the, not so cheap, entrance fee and leaving your two intoxicated friends on their own just didn’t seem so responsible.

As you sat watching— well, more like babysitting by this point— you figured you could at least make your time here worth it by ordering a drink. You signalled for the bar tender, who seemed to be occupied conversing with someone. Someone dressed in jeans, converse, a plain shirt and a bomber jacket. Nothing too extravagant, you didn’t even notice him at first. But for some reason, something about him drew you in.

Other than the cute guy the bar tender was talking to, you were lucky, almost the entire club was on the dance floor, leaving the bar nearly deserted.

Making his way to take your order, you read his name tag. Choi soobin. Hmm, cute name. He had tousled dark brown hair, thick and lustrous. He was incredibly tall and well built, looking extremely handsome in his uniform. Yet, there was something about him that was still endearing.

“How can i help you?” Taking your order, giving you a smile.

‘Bunny’ you thought, the moment you saw the adorable way the side of his lips tugged upwards, exposing his front teeth.

“Hi, could i get a gin and tonic?” You ordered, extremely grateful for the wall of glass separating the dance floor and the bar. You had no intentions of screaming for the entire night.

“Classy, coming right up m’lady,” shooting you a wink before going back to make your drink.

His voice was like nothing I've ever heard before. It was smooth, like butter. His tone was as deep as the sun at midnight.

But okay, I’m getting off topic. This story isn’t about the undeniably hot bar tender you met for a brief 5 seconds. This story is about the stranger across the bar that you had yet to meet.

Coming back with your drink, soobin accompanied it with something you didn’t expect to hear.

Reaching for your wallet, you pulled out your card, ready to hand it to soobin to pay for the drink. Instead, he held up a hand, stopping you.

“No need to pay. Courtesy of that guy,” directing your gaze over to the boy sitting at the other end of the bar, who was now busy on his phone.

“Hm, tell him thanks for me.”

Next thing you knew, the cute boy was approaching you. Your heart beat increasing each step he took closer, making your mind race.

Beomgyus pov:

He sat at the bar, waiting for his best friend, soobin, to get off his shift. They were supposed to hang out for the night but soobin had been called to fill in for a coworker. Joining him on his shift, beomgyu figured getting a few drinks on the house would have been enough of an apology.

Sitting at the bar, beomgyu was engulfed in utter boredom. Soobin had been preoccupied cleaning the counter, leaving beomgyu alone to scan the rest of the club. The scene of desperate men hitting on women digusted him. He couldn’t understand what was so attractive about rubbing their bodies against strangers.

Starting to blow raspberries, he looked for anything remotely interesting. That’s when loveliest girl he had ever seen stopped him in his tracks. He sat staring at her, bemused, as time seemed to congeal, to stand still for a moment. The way she sat there, her hair effortlessly styled, her chin resting in her hand, the way she stared into, what he assumed to be, nothingness. There wasn’t anything too amazing about her, yet he couldn’t take his eyes off her. Maybe it was the fact that she was the only one not dressed in an inappropriately tight dress and stripper heels.

“She’s pretty huh,” Soobin suddenly stated, knocking beomgyu out of his thoughts.

“Hmm?” Beomgyu replied, diverting his attention to soobin.

“Don’t pretend. You’re practically drooling like you’ve just seen your first meal in 10 years. I saw her come in with some of her friends just now. Doesn’t seem like she’s having much fun though. You should go talk to her,” wiggling his eyebrows at beomgyu.

“Yeah, no way,” he spat.

Before soobin could protest, he noticed you trying to call the bar tender

“Hey, go do your job.”

“Fine. But this conversation isn’t over,” soobin nagged before making his way over to you.

Beomgyu watched as his friend went up to you, taking your order and gave you a wink as he walked away. Unexpectedly, soobin’s playful act enraged him a little. He didn’t know why and he was afraid to find out.

Noticing how soobin shot him a look, Beomgyu figured his face was an open book and probably said it all. Picking up his phone, he tried to distract himself. But to be honest, this act was just a complete boondoggle.

After soobin was done fulfilling your order, he went back to beomgyu, “you owe me $8. And she said thanks.”

“Wait what?” Beomgyu shot, genuinely confused by his statement.

“I told her you paid for her drink. Gin and tonic, she’s a classy one.”

“Why did yo-,” beomgyu said, only to get cut off.

“She’s been straing at you all night too. I just gave you an in, go talk to her. Now go, before i have to clean the bar from your drool.”

Astonished, beomgyu refused, “what, no. I’m not hitting on some stranger. I-”

“Oh, yes you are. I’m sick of hearing you talk about how lonely you are. No more excuses. Just go, you’ll thank me.”

With him now being down $8 and knowing he won’t win this battle. Beomgyu complied and stood up, walking over to you, mumbling a string of curses at soobin.

—

“Hey, im beomgyu. Im the one that apparently bought you that drink. Can i take a seat?” He spoke in a call tone.

“Y/n. Sure sit. And what do you mean ‘apparently’?” You asked, skeptical at his choice of words.

“The bar tender, soobin,” he started, taking a sit on the stool, pointing over to the boy who was cleaning glasses this time. “He kind of just said that so i had a reason to come over and talk to you.”

“Oh, well thank you. And i guess i should thank him too,” a small smile tugging your lips as you faced your lap, a blush creeping on your face.

Beomgyus mind flooded with thoughts as he tried his best not to blow up from your adorable flustered state.

“Um so, if you dont mind me asking. What are you doing here? You dont seem to be enjoying yourself very much,” he queried, trying to occupy his mind by changing the topic.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Ladies first,” he gestured with a smirk.

“Hmm, my friends dragged me here,” you dryly laughed. “One of them just cashed in a check and wanted to ‘make some memories’ as she said,” quoting her and sighed, “Im not much of a club person though.”

“Hm, well, i was supposed to be spending to night with my friend,” he said, turning over to Soobin’s direction. “But he had to work!” Saying the next part loud enough so soobin could hear.

Facing beomgyu, soobin replied, “shut up beomgyu, you should be thanking me.”

Beomgyu tsked, causing you to laugh at their playful banter. As the conversation continued, you both started to relax and the previous nervousness disappeared. With your drinks now finished, you were simply just getting to know each other. Just the basic stuff, like hobbies, pet peeves and so on.

Even though you had only been chatting for... oh, i lost track of the time, oh wells. But you found out a lot about him. You learnt he loves singing, he plays the guitar, he hangs out with 4 other friends, one of which being the bar tender, and the list goes on. Talking with beomgyu was... easy. You told him about the time your friends had gotten you lost. The time it started pouring when you supposed to have a barbecue. And even the time you almost cracked your head open by missing a ‘wet floor’ sign.

Just as you thought the conversation was coming to an end, beomgyu asked you one last question. And if it wasn’t for this question, you might have missed out on the best night of your life.

“What’s your... biggest fear?”

You thought about it for a second before answering, “that’s a good question. I guess i have to say im scared of tomorrow, of the future. Cause who knows what will happen.”

“Huh...” he trailed off, “well, you should just let the universe run its course. Let it align itself. Don’t worry about tomorrow cause tomorrow ain’t tonight right?”

You let out a dry laugh at his reply, looking down at your empty glass. You never thought about it that way.

“Why dont we get out of here? Since we both aren’t having much fun anyway,” he suggested, holding out a hand, locking eyes with you.

You hesitated. One, your friends were here, and god knows how much they’ve drunk. And two, he was practically a stranger.

But you were up for an adventure and for some unknown reason, it felt like you’ve known him for ages. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or maybe you were just losing your mind. But he was lean and sinewy, and possessed the sort of angelic good looks that made it almost impossible for you to refuse him anything. You trusted him and your friends’ll be fine. Or at least you tried to convince yourself of the latter.

Momentarily forgetting your friends existence, you grabbed his hand, nodding. An unintentional smile breaking across your face, as did his own.

“Soobin, ill see you tomorrow alright,” saying to soobin as he lead you to the exit.

“Have fun you two,” soobin said smoothly until he remembered beomgyu owed him, “wait! Choi beomgyu you owe me $8!”

“Quick run,” beomgyu leaned down, whispering to you before pulling you away faster, dodging the rag soobin threw at him.

—

You were aimlessly strolling, unsure of where you were going or what you were going to do but it excited you. As you left the club, beomgyu didn’t let go of your hand, making your heart play hopscotch in your chest. You realised leaving with a stranger could have been a really bad decision. But won’t it be such a great story to tell your future kids when they asked how you met? You were swept off your feet by a beautiful stranger at a bar. Okay, maybe not the best story to tell impressionable kids but still, it was an thrilling one.

Wait, wait future kids? Gosh, this was someone you spoke for for one, maybe two hours, why were you thinking of starting a family. This was a guy you barely knew, how could he have this effect on you?

Walking down the streets, it was a ghost town. Not a single soul in sight. But then again, it was way past 3am in the morning. The only people crazy enough to be up at this hour are drunks and witches. Beomgyu swung your intertwined hands, singing a song as you made your way down the street. A song you identified to be not spring, love, or cherry blossoms. When he had come to the rap portion of the song, you couldn’t help but laugh softly.

“What’s so funny?”

“You can’t rap,” covering your mouth as you let out another laugh.

“Shut up. I can so rap. You’ve just never heard a god rap,” he challenged.

“Sure, whatever you say,” you replied sarcastically, grinning and rolling your eyes.

Content with your answer, he continued singing. A smile was permanently plastered on your face as he did so. After walking for nearly 30 minutes, you still had no clue where you were headed.

“So, where are we going?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

“No idea,” he answered simply, turning to face you, a smug smile on his face.

You chuckled, “Well it’s getting kind of late. I think i should probably head home soon.”

“Nooo,” he whinned, “come on, dont say goodnight yet. The stars are still in the sky, the night’s still young.”

“Beom-“

“Shh!” He put a finger on your lips, cutting you off before you could retort. “I’m not letting you go till tomorrow paints the sun across the night.”

With that, he placed an arm around you, keeping you in headlock, not giving you a chance to run away, “i got my sweet mary jane with me. That’s all i need to get high tonight.”

“Hey! Alright, alright, let’s wait till tomorrow. Now let me go!” You giggled, playfully hitting his arm to let you go.

Releasing you, you stood up straight again and interlocked your arm with his, shooting him a smile, to which he reciprocated. You felt surprisingly comfortable around beomgyu. Normally it would take you a few weeks of knowing someone before you dared to be this close to them. But, beomgyu was different. It felt different.

Walking for a few more moments, you leaned against him and spoke, “why don’t we go to a beach? I haven’t been to one in a while. And going to one in the middle of the night sounds pretty fun.”

“Hmm,” Beomgyu thought about it for a second before continuing, “the tides would be pretty high now but it would be fun to watch the sun rise and a i know a beach that’s around here but it’s kinda far for a walk.”

“Great, the walk is fine. It’s settled then, let’s go to the beach!”

“Wait, you sure you can walk that far in those?” Giving you a questioning look, gesturing to your choice of shoes for the night. “Don’t get me wrong, they look fantastic on you. But they ought to hurt eventually.”

“Oh,” you looked down and realised he was right. But there was little you could do about it at this moment, “I’ll be fine. Worse comes to worse, i just take them off and walk barefoot. No big deal, I’ll probably take them off when we get to the beach anyway.”

Beomgyu hummed a response at your child like smile as you spoke. “Alright, but if its to painful, tell me, i don’t mind giving you a piggyback ride okay?”

You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile, squeezing his hand to reinforce your statement.

With beomgyu leading the way, it was nearly 4am when you reach the beach. The moonlight shone down, a diffuse glow, reflecting off the waves, lighting the beach from pitch black to charcoal grey. Taking off your heels, you walked to the sand, letting out a sigh. Even though you couldn’t make out much of it, you still stood there in admiration. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the sea breeze against your skin and the feeling of the cool sand under your feet. The serene environment was exactly what you needed after being in a noise polluted club for the past few hours.

Beomgyu stood behind you, smiling as he watched your actions. Little did you know, you had the same effect on him as he did on you. You barely knew each other. Yet, you both knew after tonight, there was something there, and you couldn’t deny it.

Walking up to you, he grabbed your hand again. “Follow me,” he stated simply, pulling you along.

Guiding you further down the beach, he brought you to a small pier that overlooked the ocean, walking until you both were at the end. Letting your hand go, he sat down, his legs dangling off the edge as he rested his arms on the rails. Without saying a word, he patted the spot next to him, offering you a seat, to which you gladly accepted. Placing your heels behind you, you sat down, dangling your legs off the edge as well.

You both sat in silence, enjoying the company of the moon and each other. The silence wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just peaceful. Leaning your head on your shoulder, he rested his own on yours. Right then, all you knew was that this, was the quintessential dream come true.

“Sometimes i wish i could just throw my middle finger to the new sun.”

Beomgyu chuckled at your statement, “what?”

“I just don’t want this moment to end,” you admitted, sitting up to face him, smiling gently. “I didn’t expect the night to go so well.”

“Me neither,” beomgyu replied simply, at a loss of words.

In that moment, you looked angelic, the moonlight spilled onto your face and hair. The smile you gave him, it was as if the stars themselves, decided to rest behind the soft cushion of your lips. As he looked into your eyes he knew, all the beauty of the universe could not even hope to compete with this simple thing: love.

Would he dare admit it? He saw it in your eyes and in the short amount of time he knew you, it felt more than amazing. In the short amount of time, he met someone he never thought he’d meet. In the short amount of time, he actually fell in love with you.

=====================================

Had this drafted for almost a month and finally got around to finishing it. Rly like this so hope u do too! 😣💕

Masterlist

#txt au #txt fluff #beomgyu fluff #txt fanfic #beomgyu au #txt #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu ff #txt imagines #txt beomgyu #choi beomgyu #beomgyu #txt ff

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mx-o · 4 years

Text

「NEO CITY」

》 nct ot21 mafia! au

》 warnings ; swearing, mentions of guns, slightly suggestive? (ft. more got7)

》 a/n: i’m not sure what i wrote there for a sec, and this is my first ever fic so please don’t hate me.

word count: 2.3k

masterlist | previous

two

[bangkok, thailand; jan 14, 19:34]

“mr. lim, i’m so glad you could make it,” ten said politely, taking another sip of his scotch and setting another glass down for his guest.

“please, i’ve already told you, you can speak casually to me, or i’m gonna have to start treating you the same, mr. lee,” he chucked lightly and took his seat at the table across from ten.

“well then, jaebeom, i just wanted to have a drink to thank you for your favour. how was your vacation in bali treating you?” he asked while pouring him a drink.

he laughed, “i don’t believe in vacations, there’s always work to be done. especially when half the people you work with don’t seem to understand basic principles—” he took the drink ten offered, nodding a ‘thank you’ as he took a sip.

ten smiled at the comment, knowing exactly what he meant as he had once tried to work with jaebeom’s crew, got7, he recalled. he had gone to see through a shipment on taeyong’s behalf way back when they had just started out. both the companies had only just started, and he vaguely remembered one of the got7 boys, yugyeom—if he remembers correctly, completely losing his mind and panicking like a headless chicken. that caused taeyong to lose faith in jaebeom and his crew, which in itself had caused problems on both ends. gosh, the amount of apologies that came from yugyeom the day after, at their meeting together—you’d never believe the way they’ve come from that.

“yeah i get that. recently, johnny and haechan, too, have been up to their antics again. but what can you do? it’s not like that’s any basis to fire them,” ten laughed. he didn’t mention his little memory about yugyeom considering he hadn’t seen the younger in years, since he’d come back to thailand.

“i can imagine. bambam and jackson are always at it whenever they see each other—which is why i sent them to two different countries. but yet, here i am doing their work.”

neither jaebeom or ten said anything further and just enjoyed their comfortable silence. ten glanced at the clock on the wall behind jaebeom, noticing the time. it had been getting closer to dinner, and boy had it been a long day for them both.

“ah, it’s getting a little late for dinner. have you eaten yet? i’ll ask lalisa to order us something,” ten offered.

“oh, i’m afraid i’ll have to decline. i have to head back to the office to do some paperwork,” he replied hesitantly. he was hungry, yes, but work always came first for jaebeom.

“jaebeom, c’mon. it’s the least i could do to repay you for your favour from the other day. plus, that stupid work first policy is gonna cost you one of these days,” he shot him one of those ‘i know i’m right’ looks that he learnt from his mom.

jaebeom laughed at him, nodding in agreement. they’d known each other for so long it was easy to read each other like that.

“i’ll go get lalisa. is there anything in particular you’d like?” ten asked on his way to the glass door of his office. jaebeom shook his head, saying that anything would be fine.

he went outside quickly making his way over to his secretary’s desk, except she wasn’t there. probably on a bathroom break, he assumed. he went back into the office, figuring he’d call for delivery himself.

“looks like she’s busy so i’ll just call them instead,” he explained when jaebeom shot him a questioning look for returning so quickly. a silent ‘oh’ escaped from jaebeom’s parted lips.

ten started dialling the number for the nearest delivery place when it occurred to him that johnny, sicheng and donghyuck hadn’t left the office yet. maybe he should go check if they had eaten and ask them to join him and jaebeom?

“i don’t think the others have left yet, do you mind if they joined us?” he asked looking up from his phone, tilting his head like a puppy. jaebeom took a second before agreeing—something about ‘the more the merrier.’

ten decided to head to the floor below his to johnny’s office, where they all usually are this time. down the hall, in the stainless-steel elevator and a five second wait before he stumbled upon one of the worst scenarios to have happened at neo culture tech—well in his eyes, at least.

***

ten had originally invited bambam to have drinks with him but when he was informed that jaebeom had just flown in, he didn’t let the opportunity pass to thank the man who was really behind the operation. this, however, meant that bambam wouldn’t let his opportunity pass.

it was a simple plan, really. get in after jaebeom, do what he had to, and get out before jaebeom. what he didn’t expect was getting caught in what he called ‘phase 2’ of his own little operation. but it’s bambam we’re talking about here—what else would’ve happened?

getting into the building was no problem, considering he had been there so many times and had direct access anyway. if anyone had asked, he was late for a meeting with jaebeom and ten, which arguably, was a valid excuse if he had used it. he’d figured since it was getting late, that most of the staff would’ve already gone home, if not on their way. but what he’d forgotten was how dedicated all the workers of neo tech were. so, when word got out that got7’s shipping advisor and manager had entered the building, it was johnny’s sole duty, as one of the directors of the board and dear friend of bam, to invite him to his office for a drink.

nothing really ever went as planned for bam, anyway.

it was just his luck that sicheng and donghyuck had decided to join in. they had all sat in johnny’s office, catching up on things since all they really ever talk about was work. meanwhile, all bambam could think of was how he could make it out of here without making it seem obvious. he pulled his phone out from his pocket, typing quickly and sending a text that hopefully might save him from all this.

[19:41] stuck in johnny’s office. get me out.

all he could do now was wait and hope no one noticed how antsy he was getting.

“so bam, how’s the girlfriend? we still haven’t met her, man. what are you waiting for?” sicheng asked. he wasn’t one to pry but the few drinks he had could change that.

“you aren’t afraid we’ll snatch her up from under you?” johnny added with a laugh. bam laughed nervously at the snide comment, desperately trying to hide his anxiety for the umpteenth time within the last few minutes.

they continued their conversation for a while after, bambam starting to worry that he may not ever be saved from this torture. that’s when this saviour arrived—lalisa knocking on johnny’s office door with a few files in her hand.

“mr. suh, if i may, mr. lee is expecting your guest in his office for the meeting with mr. lim,” she said sweetly with a smile, as she peeked into the room. he couldn’t mistake something more mischievous in her voice, though.

“oh yes, of course. that’s why you’ve been so nervous! bam, you could’ve just said you had a meeting. come back after and we’ll continue the drinks,” johnny said, after dismissing the girl.

bambam took his leave, bowing and thanking them for the drinks before actually leaving. he opened the door, seeing lalisa on the other end of the hallway. she motioned her head to the door to her right, a smirk on the corner of her lips. bam smiled right back at her and practically ran into the room, pulling her with him. she had to hold back her laughter a little, so they didn’t cause a scene. she was already risking her job by doing this for him—well it wasn’t just for him.

he pulled her into the empty conference room, lips attaching to hers the very second they’d entered. she hummed and pulled away mumbling something about locking the door. to think, that was the fastest bambam had ever reacted to anything at all in his entire life.

he rushed to go close the double doors of the spacious conference room. too caught up in not wanting to miss the moment, he didn’t quite turn that lock fully. he turned around, taking lalisa by surprise, pushing her up onto the table and letting her hands grip on his shoulders for support. his hands made its way to her waist, pulling her closer since he couldn’t get enough.

she pulled away again saying, “i only have fifteen minutes before he realizes i’m gone,” before getting lost in the moment again. bambam pushed her further back so that she sat on the desk, him standing between her legs.

lalisa pulled at his suit jacket, desperately trying to get it off of him since it was getting so heated between them. she continued down to his belt buckle before he stopped her. “don’t start something we don’t have time to finish,” he warned.

she let the belt go and went up to his dress shirt while also trying to get her own blouse off. she had waited all week for this, with bam being busy with work and not being out of the country for half of it, she didn’t want to hold back.

meanwhile, donghyuck had been playing around with johnny’s computer. obviously, he was supervised. johnny needed him occupied since he didn’t want him drinking and end up doing something stupid while drunk.

he did some clicking here and there, stumbling upon the live feed of the security cams on both this floor and the floor above them. ten’s office didn’t have security cameras, but the hallway did. he’d noticed that lalisa hadn’t been sitting at her desk, where she usually is at this time, but he just brushed it off thinking she’d gone to the bathroom or something.

he played around a little more, checking all the rooms before stumbling upon the conference room down the hall. that’s when he froze up. neither johnny nor sicheng had noticed but the boy sat in his chair staring at the screen, rigid.

the poor boy couldn’t wrap his head around what he was seeing. had bambam really subscribed to the whole ‘sleeping with the secretary’ thing? it wasn’t even his secretary!

donghyuk stared at the screen for too long and frankly, had grown uncomfortable seeing one of his co-workers with one of his friends, yet the boy still couldn’t look away. it wasn’t until he heard a loud crashing sound from down the hall, that he snapped out of his trance.

johnny got behind him to pull up the security cams on his computer, not knowing they were already up, while sicheng pulled out his glock 19 that he had hidden in his waistband. he stood behind the closed door, listening for any other signs of an intruder before opening the door and heading to the hallway.

johnny already had his hands on his gun, ready to pull it out—that was until he saw what had caused the crash in the first place. and there it was, live on the security feed—his co-workers in the middle of a heated make-out session. they still hadn’t even realized they had thrown down one of ten’s most prized possessions, an antique chinese vase that costed millions.

he tried to supress his laughter, realizing why donghyuk had logged off from reality while he sat in the chair. the boy probably didn’t even know what to do with himself seeing all that unfold. johnny was too late to stop sicheng from bolting into the conference room and seeing it first-hand.

saying sicheng was not surprised was an understatement. having known bambam for this long, honestly, he’d expected something like this, except he didn’t expect that it would be with lalisa, and most certainly, not at work.

okay, so maybe sicheng was a little surprised.

the two lovebirds still weren’t aware of his presence in the room, even after johnny had joined them. he had put away his gun and cleared his throat to get their attention, but it was to no avail. he did it again, this time a little louder. they finally caught on, lalisa gasping and pushing bambam off of her. she quickly got up off the desk and turned around to button up her blouse while bam followed suit.

“what a coincidence, cockblocked again. and by the same people.”

johnny and sicheng laughed awkwardly, still no knowing what to do in this situation.

“fuck,” lalisa whispered, seeing the vase on the carpet, shattered to pieces. bambam followed her gaze whispering the same. they were all fucked actually.

just when it couldn’t get any worse—

“what’re you guys—” ten cut himself off after seeing the mess that was his first-floor conference room.

johnny and sicheng had moved to the side, bowing their heads in ‘shame’ despite holding back some of their laughter. the real shame was from lalisa and bambam, who caused this mess in the first place. neither of the two could look at ten and face him right now.

all that could register in ten’s head was that the vase wasn’t the only thing that was shattered tonight.

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mysticthot · 6 years

Text

RFA x Jumins Sister!MC

idk why i have such a thirst for jumin as a big brother but here we are

also this is hella long my b

Yoosung Kim

knows who you are thru magazines and what not, but he’s never met you in person

that is until the first rfa party that Rika holds

he sees you from across the room, standing next to Jumin looking like a model and he’s shook

wow shes even prettier in person, i didnt know she was gonna be here tonight i should go talk to her, wait no she’ll think i’m a loser- OH GOD SHES LOOKING SHE PROBABLY THINKS IM A CREEP DOES MY HAIR LOOK GOOD oh shes smiling at me

thoughts running wild he doesn't know what to do so he straight up turns around and walks away

it isn't until later in the night that he actually gets to talk to you

“Hi, I’m MC. Your Yoosung right? Part of the RFA?”

he’s shook when u said hi first

you have a good conversations and he’s surprised at how easy you are to talk to and how different you are from your brother

at the end of the night you catch him before he leaves and give him your number

definitely spends the rest of the night trying to think of something cool to txt you

definitely asks Zen for help

manages to start talking to you, and suddenly your messaging each other constantly

its Yoosung were talking about, his crush on you is immediately all he can think about

but he goes out of his way to not say anything in the chatrooms cause Jumin hasn't mentioned anything so he’s not sure if Jumin knows

lowkey terrified of Jumin finding out and sending a hitman after him

he’s too shy to ask you on a date

literally everything about you screams out of his league

so imagine his surprise when you ask him to a movie

boi straight up falls out of his chair in the middle of class

ya’ll go see a movie and his soul nearly leaves his body when you lean in and give his a short peck on his lips afterwards

“I really like you Yoosung, I’ve never had a guy treat me so well.”

“I-I like you too MC.”

his soul does leave his body when Jumin enters the chatroom the next day saying nothing but his full name in all caps

poor boi is immediately apologizing and ranting about how much he likes you and how he promises to be good to you

After everything Jumin simply responds with, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Now with Jumins approval, he officially asks you to be his girlfriend which you happily say yes to

This boi loves you so much, and he is in awe everyday that you chose him

Likes to show you off, especially to his friends

Loves when you pick him up from school lookin all cute and pulling him into a tight hug

gets very jealous and protective knowing all these rich dudes are competing for your attention, but he as Jumins support and your love, so he’s happy

Zen

Vaguely aware that you exist

Has heard Jumin or Jaehee mention you a few times, but he doesn't think much of it, and he actively goes out of his way to not watch or read anything with the name ‘Han’ in it

He’s in the lobby of the C&R building waiting for Jaehee so they could go get coffee, when he sees a cute girl struggling by the closed elevator doors with arms full of papers and folders

ever the gentleman, he goes over and offers to hold some of it for you

“Excuse me miss, would you like some help with that?”

You look up at him and his breath is all but knocked out of him when he gets a full glance at your beauty

“Oh, wow thank you.”

You smile breathlessly up at him, both of you seem to be in the same trance

He snaps out of it to grab the papers from your arms, and introduces himself

Your both looking at each other with that same wide eyed look when the elevator doors open

There stands Jaehee in the middle of the love fest.

“Uh...Zen, I see you’ve met MC. Jumins sister.”

SHHOOOK

He’s so dramatic like he full on backs up hand over the heart gasping

You almost laugh at the look on his face

“Oh, so your that Zen? I’ve heard all about you.

Jaehee takes your papers from Zen and gets into the elevator with you mumbling about how she’ll be right back.

Zen almost dies when you wink and blow him a kiss as the doors close

Jaehee is interrogated by Zen through out their whole lunch

You were so cute and nice looking?? How were you related to the trust fund kid???

Gasps when he realizes that makes you a trust fund kid as well

Yet, he cant stop thinking about you and the moment you shared in the lobby

He’s such a romantic, he becomes convinced this is a Romeo and Juliet love at first sight thing

Hung around in the lobby for a bit one day hoping to meet you again, but he starting looking suspicious so he had to leave

Ends up pestering Jaehee for hours until she gives in and gives him your phone number

Very quick to send you a selfie asking if you remember him

You reply even faster

“Of course I remember you, how could I forget such a beautiful face? Oh and also Jaehee has kept me updated on how much u ask about me ;)”

He’s never been out charmed by someone before, but you have him so flustered

Quick to ask you on a date

Basically does turn into Romeo and Juliet ft. Jeahee as the Nurse (omg just realized how thats a pretty good fic idea i might right that lol)

She helps cover your tracks while your sneaking around with Zen

But Jumin is getting ever more suspicious and after many useless reports from him sending Jaehee to follow you, he sends one of his guards instead

This is all very inconvenient for him, he doesn’t like the thought of you not being able to tell him something, you’ve told each other everything always

not to mention zen has been getting on his nerves lately being strange and sappy in the chat rooms

He could never imagine the shock that filled his entire being when his guard told him he had seen you going into Zens house

Boi’s over there in an instant banging on the door

A shirtless zen opens the door, his hair messed up and a hickey growing redder by the second on his neck

Jumins pushing him up against a wall before he can even react

The slam startles you out of the bed in nothing but a sheet, only to freeze when you see the scene before you

guess you’ll die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It takes a long time to get them off each others necks

“Guys, why dont we all calm down and talk about this rationally?’

“MC, the only thing keeping me from knocking this trust fund kid out is the fact that he is your brother.”

“Zen not helping!”

Jumin all but drags you back to the car and you’re lectured the whole ride home

Then lectured some more in the pent house

Then some more before you announced you were going to bed

He was angrily pouring himself some wine when he heard your phone go off

It was Zen

He justifies his actions by saying you had betrayed his trust, and opens the message

“I’m sorry MC, I hope you’re ok. I know he wont approve, but I hope you can find away to stay with me. I will never find someone like you and even if he doesn’t understand or believe it, I love you. Call me when you can.”

Now he feels kinda bad

Then he remembers Zen’s hickey and he’s mad again

It takes him a while but he eventually allows for you and Zen to see each other freely

Feels betrayed by Jaehee

Jaehee (Speaking of betrayal lol)

She knows of you, but has never met you, as you are studying abroad

When Jumin first mentions the fact that he is going to pick you up from the airport, shes initially worried that she will have to deal with a second Jumin

And in her experience, the high class women aren’t the easiest to get along with

So imagine her surprise the next day when she is going to the penthouse to introduce herself and finds...what looks like a completely normal girl lounging in her pajamas

You smile kindly at her as Jumin, dressed in his normal suit, comes to stand beside you and she cant believe the differences

Shes pretty sure you’re showing more emotion on you face in this exact moment than Jumin has in his entire life rip lol

She introduces herself, and it shocked when you immediately pull her into a hug

“Its so nice to meet you, I’m MC.”

The way you say your name and the way your holding her hands in yours while you smile at her she just-

gay panic

Your spending the summer with Jumin, so she sees you around a lot and every time you are just as sweet to her

As time passes she begins to feel strange when she sees you

Heart racing, cheeks blushing, you know the drill

But its been so long since Jaehee has had a crush on someone, and she wasn't even sure if this was a crush

poor babe is confused af

Cause your so nice to her

And you make Jumin be nice to her

And you get her off work to hang out

But she doesn’t know if your being friendly...

One day she is going over last minute talking points with Jumin as he prepares for a gala event when you come walking out

Your dress makes you look like an angel, your hair is flowing and framing your beautiful face and- oh, there was that smile again

She nearly chocked when she saw you

gay panic intensifies

you make her feel the way zens videos do

Suddenly she’s not so confused anymore

She walked you and Jumin down to the car waiting outside and you turn to her before following your brother in

“You’re not coming with us are you?” you asked with a slight frown.

“No, it would be inappropriate for an assistant to attend such an event.” she sighed, smoothing out her work skirt, suddenly realizing how different you two really were.

You paused, looking like you might say something, but stopped yourself, telling her to have a good night before getting into the car

She watched you drive away, and wasn’t expecting to hear from you any more that night

Then her phones ringing and its you and she’s answering in a flash

You voice is shaky, asking her if she could pick you up if it wouldn't be too much trouble cause you didn't want to inconvenience her

She was in the car before you had finished the call

When she pulled around the back of the event, where you had asked to meet, she saw you standing in the dark, a look so sad it made her heart hurt

You climbed into the passenger seat, but the ride back to the penthouse was silent

It wasn't until she pulled up to the curb that you invited her upstairs

As soon as you passed the door way to the house, it was like your fake composure, one that she knew you had been raised to perfect, melted away

You sighed before dropping face first onto a couch cushion and screaming into it

Jaehee didn't know exactly what to do, so she gave your back a somewhat comforting pat until you sat up ready to tell her what was wrong

Turns out you had met a man at the gala

(her heart dropped when you said that)

But the man was an absolute dick

(So your sayin she has a chance?)

The man had been grabbing you and touching you all night, asking for dances and pressuring you to drink

The final straw was while he had dragged you into a dance, his hand lowed down before he full on groped your ass in front of everyone

You had slapped him

The gotten promptly lectured from your father

“He was acting like I was in the wrong for standing up for myself. Saying I was making a fool of the family reacting in such a way! Why aren’t the men held in such a standard that so I don’t have to act like that in the first place?!”

“I’m so sorry MC, that is truly disgusting that you had to go through that.” She pulled you into a hug, and side by side you sat on the couch, enjoying each others comfort

“Next time...I think I’d like to take you as my date...” You mumbled into her shoulder.

She froze

Didn’t know was to say

Were you friends? Were you something more???

Her questions were answered as you pulled back from the hug and placed a timid kiss on her lips

It was short, almost testing the waters for both of you

But when your eyes met, the kiss that followed was anything but timid or short

Jumin was not pleased with that he saw when he got home

His assistant and sister making out in his living room

what was his life coming to??

Not nearly as mad as you thought he would be however

He had heard what your father had said to you and rushed home to make sure you were ok

Claims he knew this whole time you weren't into guys, or at least not straight, but you think hes just trying to redeem himself from the fact that his assistant seduced his sister right under his nose

Jaehee and you go as a couple to the next gala and rock that shit

707/ Saeyoung

Obvi, this boi knows everything

As soon as he was introduced to Jumin, he did a background check, and thats how he was led to you

From then on, he is not subtle or quiet with his ‘celebrity’ crush

Basically acts towards you the way he does towards Elizabeth the 3rd

Uses you as a way to tease Jumin and get him all riled up

“omg Jumin, I saw MC’s photo in a magazine today and I swear I fell in love all over again.

“If you come near her, I will get a restraining order.”

Jumin is in no way amused

The rest of the RFA is tho

Like Yoosung, you meet Seven at the first party.

He is quick to spot you, and Jumin is even quicker to separate you from him

You, however, have no idea why your brother is being even more over protective than usual, and take the first opportunity to sneak off to the bar

Seven sees you alone for the first time and quickly turns to Yoosung, asking him how he looks before running off to you

You’re shook when in the middle of taking a drink a random redhead all bed falls into the chair next to you

“HIMYNAMESSEVENITSAPLEASURETOMEETYOU!”

“...What?”

He takes a comically large breath, lets it out, then holds his hand out for you to shake

You laugh when he bows and kissed your knuckles before introducing himself slower this time

“Sorry, I just felt like I needed to rush, your brothers gonna kill me when he sees me talking to you.”

You laugh and roll your eyes and he thinks you have the best sounding laugh he has ever heard

Good thing his only talent is getting people to laugh at him

You proceed to spend the next five minutes laughing so hard your stomach hurts and your eyes water before a large group of not only your brother, but several body guards come to interrupt

“Oh no, my sweet MC, it seems our time has been cut short, I’ll never forget the moments we spent together, no matter how brief!” he calls to you while being escorted to the other side of the room by two large men

Jumin lectures you on the dangers of talking to strange men and you remind him that the whole point of this party was to talk to people you don’t know

He forbids you from talking to Seven

“MC, he’s a sadist!”

“That just makes me want him more...”

Later that night you get a strange text, or dare I say, a mysterious message, saying your phone was being hacked

Your shook and don’t know what to do watching as the so called hacker typed before the second message popped up

Is your name wifi? Cause I really felt a connection~

Ok now your more shook

Then a third message pops up and its the cute guy from the party, and you laugh before responding

You spend the rest of the night picking up where you left off at the party

And Seven it once again, not quiet about his crush

Jumin wakes up the next morning to chatroom after chatroom all about you

Half of them are him talking mindlessly about your wedding, the other half is the rest of the members telling him to shut up

Jumin is t r i g g e r e d

His first instinct is to take your phone, since you obviously cant make good choices for yourself

But then he remembers you are an adult, and he cant take away your phone

So he goes to plan B which is threaten Seven with a restraining order, once again

Halfway through typing out a long, angry message, you skip out into the kitchen, and suddenly his anger it focused on you

“MC WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO SEVEN HES NOT GOOD FOR YOU YOU NEED TO BLOCK HIM AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER HES CRAZY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING”

“He’s so cute and sweet tho.” you pout

“Awe, thanks MC.”

Both of you look up to find Seven standing in the doorway with a bouquet of flowers

Seven is forcefully removed from the building

Jumin gives you the whole, “he’s a hacker he’s dangerous” speech, but you are stubborn

You tell him you are an adult who can make her own choices

He does the things parents do where they think they can guilt you into making the right choice

Thinks he’s won when he doesn't hear anything about you from Seven for a while

Imagine his shock when he logs into the chatroom to see a picture from the cctv of you and Seven kissing, clearly in the middle of a date along with a picture of a plastic cat ring on your ring finger

“She said yes!”

“I am going to physically hurt you.”

On the more serious side, Seven would be a little harder because of his job, so everything you guys did would have to be in secret

He would get in his moods where he thought you deserved a boyfriend who could treat you better and be seen in public with you

Don’t even get him started on how dangerous he was

But you could use your connections to help him get his life on track, and eventually get him a job at C&R

Jumin isn't happy with it, but when he accepts that Seven actually cares for you and this isn’t just some joke, he will come to terms with it

V/ JIhyun

V has known you since you were born, as him and Jumin were already friends then

Infact, he has a picture somewhere of him as a child holding you the day you got home from the hospital

Growing up with V and Jumin, was almost like having two brother

Both very protective over you

Being kids, you went through the normal phases

“Boys have cooties dont touch me!”

‘C-cooties...but MC...”

There were times when you would tease each other simply because that’s what kids do when they have crushes

His little cheeks would get all red when you and him would play games together

He liked to be the knight that saved you from the evil dragon (Jumin) and one time you very lightly pecked a kiss onto his cheek before running off and his face was red for the rest of the day

In fact you were each others first kiss

It was during a sleep over he was having with Jumin

Jumin had fallen asleep during a movie leaving you and V alone, sitting together in a blanket fort

You were playing truth or dare, but they were mostly truths to keep the game quiet and not wake anyone

“Truth or dare MC.”

“Truth.”

“...Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Your whole face went red, as did his, he had barely even worked up the courage to ask the question

“...No.” You whispered, “Have you?

“No.”

The game stopped for a moment, V was looking at while you did you best to look anywhere but at him

“Truth or dare MC?”

“...Truth.”

“Can I kiss you?”

The kiss was short and stiff and a little awkward, but it was something you both would remember for ever

And a secret you would keep from Jumin until way into your adult years

Jumin was annoyed by the whole thing

He loved his sister and all, but he didn't exactly like his best friend and sister always flirting

As you got older, the childhood crushes died down into fond memories and the occasional flirt or butterfly in the stomach

You dated a few people, he dated a few people

But there was always those times when it was just you and him alone where it seemed like something was so close to happening

But he graduated with Jumin before you did, and left to start his own life

That when he met Rika

You were happy for him truly, you were dating someone at the time as well and you wanted to see you friend be happy, he deserved it

But tragedy struck, and he was never really the same after that

You remembered her funeral, and the way he cried into your shoulder that night

You had to go through the pain of watching your dear friend loose himself, along with his eyesight

Supporting him in his time of need became your number one priority, but somewhere along the way, old feelings began to resurface

You pushed them down, deep down so you wouldn't make a fool of yourself or ruin your friendship

It took years until V would begin to see again what was right in front of him, he had been blinded by Rika for so long that he couldn’t see you

(im sorry those puns were just too good not to put in lol get it cause hes blind)

He felt guilty for his feelings, like he was betraying Rika, yet he couldn't stop himself from feeling like he did when he was a kid

Jumin, once again, was stuck between his best friend and his sister being love sick idiots, too stupid and scared to see the other one felt the same way

He’s so over it like just get married already

He decides to invite V over, fully determined to give him a talk and tell him to ask you out

Then he will invite you over so you’ll be in the same place as V

Then, Jumin will politely excuse himself for a ‘phone call’ and give them some time alone

He begins his plan in the morning, making sure you would both be coming over for dinner, then he leaves for work

Unfortunately, a meeting he had at the end of the day ended up running super late, leaving you and V alone

Plan was ruined he’s triggered

But, what he didn’t know, was that things were going along just fine between the two

You guys were sipping some wine and catching up and laughing and smiling like old times

V wanted to take a picture to capture the moment

You looked truly beautiful, framed by the night sky, cheeks flushed from the laughing and the alcohol, a smile on your face and a look in your eyes he hadn't seen, or at least hadn't recognized, since you were kids

He acted before he had the chance to stop himself, leaning forward and pressing a kiss that held in it the passion of years and years of love

You melted into it, wrapping your arms around him and he felt like he couldn’t have brought you close enough

He wanted all of you, everything he had missed out on in his lifetime of not making you his

Pulling apart, leaving you both breathless, forehead to forehead, he smiled down at you

“I’m sorry, I should have asked truth or dare first.”

jumins triggered lol

sorry if theres any mistakes im hella tired so i may have missed some in the proof read

hope u liked it

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darkmasterkattsvault-arc · 4 years

Text

Some Help From A Friend

Who: Sam Arias & Lena Luthor (@chaoticscribblings) ft. Joss Rose

What: Sam finds out about Lena and Joss and comes from Argo for a visit.

Notes: Written on discord. I’ve never written Sam before. I never even saw her episodes, but this was needed. Enjoy.

"You're not dating me, or Kara, or Clark. WHERE DID YOU FIND ANOTHER KRYPTONIAN LENA?!"

“I didn’t find another kryptonian, they found me.”

"Only because you hired me." "You hired them, for what?!"

“Get your head out of the gutter, Sam. My Cyclone needed mending.”

Joss just snickering. "Okay. And how did that end up..." gestures between them. "I asked her out for drinks and she said yes?"

“Honestly, Sam, you act as if this is rocket science.”

"You understand rocket science, this is whatever the emotional equivalent is. I'm sorry but you've never been..." Sam deciding she really doesn't want to finish that sentence.

“Never been what, Sam?” Lena knew she was perceived as cold but she had hoped that her friends saw her otherwise.

"Emotionally available." "Sometimes it takes someone else being willing to bare all before you know it's safe to do the same. I hear not many people have ever deemed her worthy of such trust." Joss wrapping their arms around Lena all protectively.

Lena smiled at the way Joss defended her, it was still something she was getting to used to. “Did it ever occur to you that no one gave me reason to be?” she asked Sam. “That no one has ever been truly honest and open with me? Trusted me and never questioned my motives?” she leaned into Joss, bring her arms to rest across the ones wrapped around her

Sam held up her hands. "Hey, I get it, okay. It's just surprising, is all. I'm happy for you, Lena. But I'm still trying to figure out how you found a third Kryptonian living in National City." "Probably helps that I didn't know I was Kryptonian until after I met her." "What?" "I mean, I suspected after Supergirl came on the scene, but I didn't actually have concrete proof." Shrugs. "I didn't remember my life prior to Earth, because apparently getting space junk into a head wound that then heals is bad for your memories."

Lena chuckled, “I have no idea. It seems I’m a magnet for kryptonians.” She turned her head and pressed a kiss to Joss’ cheek, “But, kryptonian or otherwise, Joss would still be who I’d want to be with.”

"I'd say so." Sam just smiles. "You better take care of her." "She can handle herself. But I do what she lets me."

Lena smirked at Joss’ response, “Maybe you should be warning me instead of Joss, Sam,” she laughed.

Sam laughs. "Warning you to what? Let them take care of you? Besides, you're my friend, I'm just doing what friends do." "To be fair, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what my friend did." They pressed a kiss to Lena's shoulder.

“Warning mr to not hurt them,” she replied honestly, “though, it is true, Isaac did warn me. He was very sweet though. I’m more scared of you,” she directed at Sam, “than I am him.” A smile crossed her lips at the kiss, it was such a small gesture but it brought her such joy. She honestly didn’t think she’d ever felt so safe with another being.

"I'm confident that won't be a problem." Sam smiled. "Well, I should let you two catch up. I need to get back to the theater. It was a pleasure to meet you Sam." They pressed a quick kiss to Lena's lips before pulling away and going to leave, stopping at the door to the balcony. "Oh, and Sam, next time you see Alura, tell her I said she can go fuck herself." Cos bitter Joss is bitter after finding out they're Kara's twin which means Alura and Zor-El basically abandoned them. "Did..." Watches Joss leave. "So, actually related to Kara then?"

Lena frowned at the goodbye kiss, silently wishing Joss didn’t have to go back to work, and had to stop herself from laughing at Joss’ parting words. “Yes, it appears they’re related, why Kara had no knowledge of their existence is yet to be solved.”

"Think that might be a question for Alura. Given she's the parent in this situation. I could give her a call? Alex and I have been working on a way to keep a line of communication open between Earth and Argo City. It's a little unstable connection wise, and still in its experimental stage, but should work well to at least ask. Alex had been planning to surprise Kara with it."

“I’ll talk to Joss about it. They might not want to know and I’m not going to make that decision for them. However I will ask that if you do speak with Alura, you ask about the materials of whatever carried Joss to earth. The more I can understand about the fragment in their brain the more I can understand what potential damage it could cause if left where it is.”

"Of course. And I imagine it's of the same material the other pods from Krypton were made of, but I'll certainly ask anyway." She smiles. "Now spill, I want to know everything about you two."

“Which is why I need to know more. The DEO isn’t exactly going to let me look at their files.” Lena laughed, “You’re impossible. What’s there to say? I hired them to mend my Cyclone, they arrived to pick it up and I accused them of being a clone,” she still kicked herself for that, “but we talked, I realised they possessed far too much autonomy to be a clone and somehow they forgave me.”

"Right." Sam laughed. "Lena, you don't go from 'fix this dress' to bedroom eyes without a lot more happening in between. So there's a lot to know."

“There was no bedroom eyes,” Lena laughed, “you’re imagining things, Sam.” She shook her head, sure there was no denying that there was something between her and Joss but she didn’t think bedroom eyes were happening, at least not in front of Sam. “Joss called to ask me out for drinks,” a sly smile tugged at her lips, “they called from the office balcony.”

"The way they look at you might as well be." Sam chuckled, shaking her head. "Well that's one way to ensure a date. What happened after that?"

“You’re crazy.” Lena gave her friend a look that was the non-verbal equivalent of ‘duh’, “We went for drinks, what else usually happens when someone asks you out for drinks?” She laughed. “We talked. A lot. We talked about fashion and they understood my views on it rather than looking at me like I’m crazy. We talked. A lot. Learned a lot about each other.”

"Well yeah, that's how real dates work. But you're telling me that's it? That, that's all that happened between you two and now you're here? I imagine one doesn't get accused of dating Supergirl THAT easily."

“Apparently I do,” Lena laughed, “but as far as accusations go, I’ve been accused of a LOT worse.”

"Do I even want to know how Kara handled that information?"

“How do you think she handled it?”

"She didn't?"

“She really didn’t. I had to yell at Joss to turn off their inhibitors.”

"Wait, they got into a fight?"

“Joss ended up with a busted lip.”

"I think they're lucky that's all that happened."

“Why do you think I insisted they turn the inhibitors off?”

"The better question is did they?"

“In the end,” Lena had genuinely worried that Kara would cause Joss serious harm had they not turned their inhibitors off. “It was a lot to deal with.”

"So they started a fight with Kara, with power inhibitors turned on... Did Kara attack first? What the hell happened?"

Now there was a loaded question. “Kara instigated it.” That was definitely true, she’d come in and started throwing accusations. “Joss defended me. Which was dangerous. Kara had no idea if Joss was human, kryptonian or anything else. With the inhibitors, Joss is as good as human. Kara could’ve killed them.”

Sam shook her head, rubbing her temples a bit. "So, let me get this straight, Kara attacked you, Joss defended you with inhibitors on and had to be persuaded to turn them off despite fighting someone who could otherwise kill them?" She sighed, this was wilder than reality television.

“Kara attacked me verbally,” Lena pointed out, “but Joss didn’t take too kindly of the things Kara was saying, to be honest neither did I...Joss defended me as a person, Kara fought as an alien.” The more she spoke of it, the more it hit home just how dangerous it had been for Joss to do what they did. “Joss doesn’t use their powers, at least not often. A fight to them is the same as any other person getting into a scuffle. But Kara isn’t just any other person and yes, I needed to remind Joss to turn off the inhibitors before they sustained a serious injury but using their powers goes against how they live their life.”

"That's... wow." Sam could relate to that, it's why she'd gone to Argo City. To live a normal life without fear or worry of what trouble her own powers might bring. She couldn't imagine living on Earth, wearing power inhibitors day in and day out just to be seen as any other person. "It's certainly noble, but extremely stupid of them. Which I'm sure you've told them."

“Noble and idiotic,” Lena agreed. “But I’ve seen the effects of them not having the inhibitors on,” she sighed, Joss had been so drained and she understood why they wore inhibitors all of the time, “the sooner Kara and everyone else gets it into their heads that Joss isn’t a threat to them or anyone else, the better.”

"I imagine it's overwhelming. Even I'm starting to feel it and I've only been under the yellow sun for a few hours." Sam shook her head. "Now I know why Alex was on guard when I mentioned wanting to come for a visit. You'd think they'd have learned by now that not every alien is a threat but when you start treating them like they are they have a tendency to become one but that, that still doesn't prove the point."

“How long are you here for?” Lena asked, Sam was quite possibly her closest friend, they’d been through so much together. “It wasn’t even that they were treating Joss like a threat, Joss actually seemed to be handling that part pretty well. Kara accessing me of being just like Lex, accusing me of creating a clone,” that had hurt more than she cared to admit, even with those who claimed to see her as more than Luthor were quick to accuse her of evil doings, “Kara didn’t let either myself or Joss explain, she went straight to accusations. I’m not saying Joss fighting her was the right thing to do, but...Joss doesn’t care about my families history. I’m not Lex or mother. Luthor is just another name as far as Joss is concerned.”

Sam found herself scowling. After everything Lena had done, the good she'd done, they were still on as if she was just her family name. Had the Reign incident taught them nothing of human nature and the way choice can ultimately outweigh everything else? "So much for compassion for all, eh?" She shook her head. "I can't say I wouldn't have done the same for you. Because Joss is right."

"Compassion for all unless they bear the name Luthor," Lena corrected dryly. Honestly, it was tiring trying to constantly prove herself, to show that Luthor was just a name and not who she was. "Right or wrong, Joss could've gotten killed," she countered, "and that is something I couldn't live with." She was not worthy of dying for. "Now we have to figure out how to keep off of the DEOs radar, stay away from Kara and Alex, and figure out just exactly is lodged in Joss' brain and what damage it's caused and if it can cause any further damage." Lena was thankful for Sam, she was the only one that Lena could be honest about this situation with who not only would listen but had the capability of understanding the situation from her point of view.

"Or an alien you know about but they don't." Sam shook her head. It seemed Alex, Kara, and the DEO were reacting to Lena knowing about Joss the same way they'd reacted to Lena knowing about Reign, and yet Joss was literally just trying to live their life. "Well, if you're right about them just wanting to live their life, then I can't see them ending up on the DEO's radar, except for the whole flying thing, but even then, if Kara can use her powers like that, Joss should be allowed as well, but have them keep an extra eye out. Alex and Kara might be a little harder, though. As for what's in their brain, I'll get up with Alura, though should I actually pass Joss' message along?"

"That would require them trusting me and despite what they say, they will never truly trust me. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do on that one, Lex tried to kill Superman." Lena knew why it was hard for Kara to trust her given what Lex had put her cousin through but it hurt that she felt Lena capable of doing the same thing to her. "I don't think they fly all that often," she chuckled, "unless they're asking someone out for drinks. Right now, both Alex and Kara can get stuffed. They're treating Joss the way Kara would've been treated if it hadn't been for the Danvers taking her in." Lena paused for thought, "Yes. Joss has been on earth for years with no idea where they came from, pass the message along, maybe it will provoke Alura to reach out and fill in some blanks for them. But get the information I need first, the last thing we want is for Alura to withhold information because she's angry at Joss."

"Ah yes, that." Sam sighed. It was ridiculous, honestly, the way they treated people sometimes. Sam nodded as Lena said they didn't fly often but couldn't help but laughed. "Ah, so they only fly when coming to see you?" She mad a small noise of interest at that. Willing to die for her. Willing to be more than just a person for her. Lena certainly meant something to Joss, and that was something was a lot. "I'll certainly ask first insult after. Though lets hope we get more than just her anger out of all this, for Joss' sake."

"Yes, that." The issue with having the Luthor name was that the reputations of Lex and her mother were very much like that of a shadow, you could never truly get rid of it. "Don't start," Lena laughed, "it was one time, ok? And I told them off for it because what if someone had seen them?" She nodded as Sam spoke, "Please do. For some reason people tend to be less forthcoming when you insult them." A sigh left her lips, "I really hope so, Sam. There's so much that Joss doesn't remember. I worry that there's something important there and they don't even know it. Not as much as I worry about whatever is in their brain and what potential risks that carries."

"Did you ignore the fact they left off the balcony or?" Sam chuckled. "Though, except for Supergirl, anyone seeing would think it was Supergirl, or Superman, but given what the press thinks... They can probably get away with it, as long as it is only every so often." Honestly, Sam couldn't blame Joss, coming and going through a window was probably way easier than possibly running into someone in the building who thought they might be Kara. "Unfortunately for you, right?" Sam teased. "Yeah, I'll definitely do what I can. Ruby sends her love, by the way. Though she's not happy I came alone, as she wanted to come see you, but with the way Alex was on edge I thought it best not to bring her. Now I'm going to get an earful about it. Though while I'm here maybe I can get you on with her and I won't be nearly as disliked."

"I said I told Joss off, I never said they listened to me," Lena laughed. Visits to LCorp were often the time when Joss would come and go via the balcony, it would only ever be a problem if Kara decided to do it in plain clothes rather than as Supergirl but even then, Lena would know the difference and not just because Kara and Joss wore completely different styles of clothing. "If people were honest I wouldn't need to insult them in the first place," she countered. "I miss Ruby! How is she? I miss you both so much. I hate that we live on different planets." Had she said that to anyone else it would've been one of the most bizarre things she'd ever said. The mention of Alex caused Lena to close off a little. "Yes, well, Alex thinks I'm harbouring an alien clone of her sister and that at any given moment there's going to be an attack. I'd point out that Joss actually knows of Maggy Rouff but I feel that would be totally lost on her." She rolled her eyes. "I'd say I'll come visit you both but somehow I don't see Alura welcoming me with open arms given my reputation. Yes, call Ruby, and I can tell her how much she should give you hell for not bringing her to see me," Lena teased with a laugh.

Sam chuckled a bit as Lena spoke. "This is very true. And Ruby is good, adjusting rather well. She's got friends and all that. Miss you and the others, of course. I hate it too, but it's so much better there for me, y'know?" Sam noticed the way Lena closed off and sighed. "It would be lost on her. And yeah, I don't know how well a visit would go, but maybe next time I'll bring her with." She narrowed her eyes at the teasing. "Ugh, well, I need access to a computer and preferably one that can't be traced, and I can get that set up. I don't know if you want to do that here or at your house, but I can let Ruby talk and then just have her get Alura, do it all in one go and you can feed me questions to ask her."

"As much as I miss you, I'm so happy for you, Sam. Having a place that's better for you, a place where you don't have to worry about keeping Ruby safe." Lena meant it, she was genuinely happy for Sam but that didn't stop her from missing her friend dearly. "I think it would be better if we went to mine. As much as I have secured this place, it's nowhere near as secure as my home and we also won't have to worry about anyone interrupting or overhearing something they shouldn't."

Sam smiled. "Thanks, Lena." She nodded a bit. "Yeah, probably for the best. I normally wouldn't require a secure line but we're avoiding the DEO so, better safe than sorry."

"There's a reason no member of the DEO has been inside my house." There was also reasons as to why she regularly checked her house to make sure that Kara hadn't been sent in with bug. Lena had long learnt to not trust those who do not trust you. "Plus, there is wine at my house," she laughed, "if you think I'm letting you leave earth without even having a glass of wine with me you are sorely mistaken."

Sam nodded as Lena spoke, she could understand that. She couldn't help but laugh. "Because what would time with you be without wine?" She teased, standing. "Now lets get out of here." September 15, 2020

“Boring?” Lena laughed. “How did you get here?” she asked as it suddenly dawned on her that Sam didn’t exactly have many earthly positions now, not that she needed them. “You won’t be abandoning a rental if you ride with me, will you?”

"Sure, let's go with that." Sam chuckled. "Uber, so no, I won't." She'd set up a system that kept her bank account and cell number active, and likely would for a good number of years. Just long enough that, should something happen and she need to return to Earth, for good or just an extended period, she'd have access to funds and a functional phone.

#u: chaoticscribblings #m: joss #v: lost child of krypton joss #m: sam #o: lena (chaoticscribblings)#ship: to be our own heroes

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ride-run-sleep-repeat · 5 years

Text

Well, we went back to GODZone like the gluttons we are.

We had bright eyed and bushy tailed Jackson to complete our team this year and after our concerns that he was going to wreck himself by running 250km around New Zealand before we got there faded (how he does what he does and doesn’t drink coffee is beyond me). We settled in for a couple days of peace and action movie watching before the race (Die Hard 4 2007, All is Lost 2013, Hannibal 2001, Interstellar 2014, Black Hawk Down 2001, … ). We are equally intense with our movie watching as we are with our endurance sports.

Sunday leg 1: multisport prologue ft. coasteering

The race was a little different this year, well, a LOT different, but day one was the Prologue race, which wasn’t really my cup of tea (not long and suffery enough) but still lots of fun. We set off coasteering around the Akaroa headland with a few swims, then a short sufferfest mountain biking up and over a big hill where Tom bribed me with lollies by literally dangling them in front of me to make me go up the hill faster (it worked). Then there was a packraft across the lake to the final leg at the Christchurch Adventure Park where we ran into Craig, a fellow Canberran out for a Rogaine. Small world! We got to the end and had a 30 minute mandatory wait for our maps so we set up the tent, changed into warm things and went to suss food options.

Monday leg 2: packraft/trek/caving

After a less than ideal sleep because of excitement, our alarm went off at 1am to pack up and at 1:40am we hopped on the bus to take us 2 hours away to the start of Leg 2 – the 73 km Trek/Packraft and Caving. As with a lot of the teams around us, the first CP was pretty difficult to hit with 1:50,000 maps and a bit of complacency but after bush bashing for a little while and then reconnecting with the surrounding teams, we finally hit the CP and headed off to Binser Saddle, a roughly 700 metre vertical elevation gain and the first and only climb in this leg. It was at this point we got “stuck” behind a few slower teams (which I didn’t mind at all) as the trail was quite narrow. After some teams stopped for rests and poo’s we managed to get ahead of the slower guys and descend towards the river.

I was going to say that there wasn’t much to report after that but actually after paddling for an hour or so I noticed two safety guys on the other side of the river and saw we were approaching the first (and only) rapid. It was all looking fine until Paul and I hit a rock right at the top and I went flying out of the packraft – headfirst. The current was pretty strong and after knocking my knees on a few rocks I was finally able to orientate myself so my feet were going down the river first (thank you swift water rescue training!). It was at this stage I realised I had dropped my paddle and saw it floating just ahead of me, so after grabbing it I swam into an eddy, gave the “I’m okay” signal to the safety guys. (Although I was a bit shaky I have to say!) It was at this point I realised that I had only grabbed half my paddle and it wasn’t until Paul pulled up with the packraft and the other half that I realised it had snapped. Shit. We pulled up on the other side of the river where Tom and Jackson were waiting and thought about our options. Of course we hadn’t packed a spare paddle either. We ended up making a mini paddle with the one good bit of shaft and wondered if maybe we could borrow a spare paddle from one of the other teams at transition. Paul ended up using the mini paddle which hilariously made him look like more of a giant.

After that it was smooth sailing until Tom and Jackson hit an eddy line in their bathtub (aka waterlogged packraft) and tipped out. They got back in and all was well until Tom realised that he’d dropped the map… and that we hadn’t brought the spare. Cue our saviours, the super lovely and wonderful all girls team #39 – On The Rag. They’d passed us when we were discussing the broken paddle and as we caught up to them told Paul and I that we could borrow their spare paddle. Legends! Capitalising on their generosity, I then pushed my luck and told them that the boys had actually just lost our only map and if they had a spare we would be eternally grateful. They said they would have to speak to their teammates (the two Holly’s) and confirm and when we caught up to Tom and Jackson, map in hand, they had said that they would like payment in beer, which the boys were totally on board with.

As it got dark we reached the caving section and having flashbacks to last year, we weren’t super stoked. Until we got in there. Wow. Paul is claiming it is the best cave he’s ever been in. Instead of the slippery walls we were expecting, they were perfectly grippy. So all of us had fun trying to avoid the water to practice our climbing moves. After that it was a longer walk than expected to the TA where we got on our bikes and started Leg 3, the 160km mountain bike called Cookie Time for definitely no other reason other than to be very misleading as no delicious cookie times ever appeared (whoops we already ate them on leg 1, also there was a tin shed called Cookie’s Hut).

Tuesday leg 3: Cookie Time massive MTB

This was a pretty cool leg I have to say. We hadn’t slept since night one (if you can call it a sleep) so we after making it through the night with a team NoDoz break we rode through the mountains to a great piece of technical single track near a hut. From there we rode over rocky river beds (much to Jackson’s displeasure) to what we are calling Poor Man’s Percy’s Pass. Between this race and last, I’d managed to forget how to carry my bike on my back and so I watched the boys power up the scrambly bit of the hike-a-bike as I dragged, pulled and panted my way sloooowly up the climb. I may have had a hissy fit half way up and tried to send telepathic signals to any of the boys to come rescue me, but ultimately I knew that they were going to let me experience (aka suffer) it by myself. I knew that although I was suffering, I’d be disappointed if I had help (something I’m grateful my teammates understand). Besides, getting to the top felt amazing and I was only a little jealous that they had had time to take their shoes off and bask in the sunlight.

There were a few major climbs to get out after that but the views were just so stunning, it didn’t matter that I couldn’t put enough oxygen into my lungs. And soon enough we were descending into the flatlands where we time trialed on the backstreets and road until we got to a cafe! What a delectable sight! We smashed both a giant thick shake and coffee which was good timing as after we got back onto our bikes, it was a longer ride than expected to the next TA. 5 Kilometres feels like forever when your feet are absolutely aching.

Tues/Weds/Thurs leg 4: 85 km Trek lakes + mountains.

In the words of the organisers –

“This stage is BIG! At 85 km it is the longest single stage trek ever at a GODZone Chapter.”

The second half sure felt like it but the first half was going to be a challenge too. Luckily we started off with a bit of daylight still on our side. Once again the tricksy 1:50,000 maps left the boys a bit confused as the contour lines were saying one thing, but the hills were saying another. We managed to bag CP 15 with limited problems as the sun set over the mountain range and made our way up to Mystic Lake to get a few hours sleep before the pre-dawn trail trudge over to the hut for CP16.

From here, there were a lot of route choices to get to CP 17 and none of them looked great. We decided the best route was to climb up a 2000 metre mountain. The climb up was definitely one of my highlights. Just as you thought you were at the top, another ridge would appear and eventually we got to the top of the ridgeline where we were weaving along pretty precarious rocks. We had to put our poles away at this stage to utilise all climbing limbs. We could and possibly should have continued on the ridgeline but decided to descend early as Paul thought it might be a bit dangerous, and if Paul thinks something is dangerous, it probably is.

The views were incredible and the promise of scree running to get down made us all pretty excited (especially Jackson). The problem with scree covered mountains though is what looks like scree at lake level was actually bigger slightly loose rocks that we had to navigate without twisting an ankle. The descent started off pretty fun but soon felt longer and longer as my knees started to protest.

After following steep fence line put up by some insane farmer we eventually (after some butt sliding) got down to the CP17 and were relieved when we realised there was a track all the way from the CP to the road. A road which kept going for what seemed like forever. I’m going to be honest, this part sucked and I was in a pretty dark space knowing we weren’t even really half way. Tom had said at the beginning to think of the leg like 3 big challenges and we were only at the end of the first.

We finally got to the campground where we were told that we might have a course change due to the weather. Basically, the fastest teams were doing the second half of the trek in 17 hours which meant that even if we had gone the same speed as them (highly unlikely), we would miss the cut off for the packraft and that would suck. So we set up camp and waited for the race director to come back with some news. Meanwhile, a lovely lady (Fizz) came out of her campervan and offered us drinks, fresh pineapple and an assortment of snacks (that were actually for the team she was waiting for) AND hot water for our back countries. It was luxurious.

News finally came that they were printing maps for us to do a lower traverse, missing CP 18 and 19, that would cut out the possibility of being stuck on top of a mountain in bad weather. There was a 2 hour wait, so we scoffed more food and had a nap. Team Tiger had also come in and were waiting. After handing our maps over Warren dangled a delicious butter chicken in front of us and placed it ever so carefully down between us and Tiger claiming that he was no longer in need of food. We looked at Tiger and down at the curry and back up at Tiger. They hadn’t moved. This was our moment. Tom, Jackson, Paul and I pulled out our spoons simultaneously and pounced on the free delicious (and still warm) curry. Spooning larger than needed portions into our mouths like the heathens we are, we stopped mid-mouthful to ask Tiger if they would like any. The look of disgust on the Frenchies faces said it all. We had claimed it. It was ours. All ours.

After that, we started our march around the lake towards the traverse. We ran into Team 1 coming back from getting CP18 and gave them the news of the new course change. They looked at the map in defeat and told us that it would take forever to finish. The full of food optimists we were at that point told him that it wasn’t going too bad.

How wrong we were.

It started out innocently enough until we found ourselves crawling on hands and knees through matagouri, the spikiest and shittiest plant known to man. (Also used by Maoris as tattooing needles). The worst part was finding a spot to semi stand up and then looking across and realising we were in a sea of it with no way out. The possibility of pulling out our bivvys and dying camping seemed more appealing than pushing through. It was at this point Paul thought if we died here they’d never find our bodies.

We somehow made it through the matagouri but found ourselves cliffed out when the map had no mention of cliffs at all. Our timing was blowing out fast and we decided to make one final push to hit the river and continue to the TA via the fire road which was out of bounds. Turns out Tiger had also gotten stuck and decided that this was the far better option too, so we walked into the dawn with them down the never-ending fire road and stupid cows to TA4.

It was here that our race nearly ended. After 42 hours on the trek leg we were all hurting and thought that because of our route choice we would be disqualified. We decided that although we did want to do the packraft, we would pull out after that and so put a couple of our backpacks in crates we wouldn’t see till after the bike leg (if we got there). I had most certainly checked out of racing and was starting to think of getting back home for a shower.

Thursday leg 5: Rakaia packrafting

We arrived at TA 4 around 11 am, which meant we had until the 2pm cut off to faff around and gather our thoughts. It was decided that we’d just do a few hours on the river, set up camp early, have a good rest and then continue on the next day and pull out of the race. Except that when we got on the Rakaia river it was only 6 hours to the kayak. And 6 hours compared to 42 is nothing. So naturally we did the whole packraft. At this point I was still pretty checked out of the race, was still okay to do the kayak (it was only another 6 hours so why not?) but not really keen on the bike ride after that, plus we had gotten rid of our packs, the race was basically over. But there was a mandatory dark zone before the kayak so we set up camp again, had a few back countries and went to sleep.

Friday leg 6+7: Rakaia kayak + MTB commute

It is amazing what some sleep and food can do. The next morning I woke up to a coffee a la Jetboil, news that we weren’t actually disqualified and an inkling that we were probably going to keep racing. We carried our kayaks the what seemed like a hugely long way to the put in. I was pretty nervous for this bit because there were a few rapids and we were in double Kayaks, but Tom was great at stabilising the couple of near tips we had. We passed Team Tiger, who had managed to smash one of their Kayaks against the rocks and were waiting for a new one and once we got out of the gorge, everything calmed down and we got into a rhythm of picking left or right on the braids of the river. We only got stuck on rocks a couple of times and one of those times was probably karma for me calling Jackson and Paul the fat boat.

After salami sausages for lunch (the height of delicious race food) we were back in race mode, much less racey than we were before the trek, but we had the finish line in our sights.

To our surprise, Sandra and Gab were there to meet us at the TA. It was lovely to have our own spectators and was a great mood booster (along with the huge bag of biscuits).

So we set off at a relatively steady pace, until one of the Kiwi teams came charging past and we all hopped on for the ride. It was nice to work with another team while Paul and their strongest rider took turns at the front. Eventually, we picked up a third team and we hauled ass all the way to the bottom of the climb.

Through a look of bewilderment, one of the kiwi’s said he’d never ridden that fast before and that we were very good mountain bikers. I have to say, we may be good mountain bikers but the Kiwis are killer trekkers. My theory is that all Kiwi adventure racers had mothers who climbed to the top of mountains, gave birth and left them there to find their way home. That’s why they’re so good. We’ve all got our strengths though. Speaking of, I had asked if Paul could bring the leash for this bike leg and as we approached the climb, I grabbed it with glee and hung on for dear life as Paul went into beast mode and hauled us up the 750 metre elevation gain to the top of the mountain. Drenched in sweat, we waited for the boys at the top and put our Supersonic Jackets on to descend into the night and last TA for the race!

Saturday leg 8: harbour packraft home

We were welcomed with pies and sleep as there was another mandatory dark zone, and there were so many teams the atmosphere was buzzing. In the morning we were told our start wave and after a minute silence for the absolutely terrible tragedy in Christchurch we set off for the 17 km paddle to the finish.

It was all looking so promising until the wind picked up and our victory lap cruise turned into fighting a heinous headwind for the last 10kms. But we got there and crossed the line in about 20th, finishing the full course in 6 days with no foot infections, blister-free feet, still talking to each other with no talk of retirement. I think that’s a team win!

Thanks to Mont for Sponsoring us again this year and providing the perfect (and matchy matchy) green Supersonic Jackets and Long Sleeve Running tops for the race. They all looked brand new even after 6 days of racing! Some of our gear highlights:

Mont Moondog jacket – primaloft mid layer, perfect for sleeping and stays warm when damp

Mont Moondance EX 2-3 person tent – ideal for 4 smelly adventure racers

Mont Contour/Sentinel 35/45L packs – tough for bush bashing and expandable from small compulsory loads to larger packrafting loads

Mont Supersonic jackets – bombproof hardshell with adjustable zips for multiple storage/ventilation options

Mont Run Power Dry L/S Zip Tee – we may or may not have worn a single shirt each for the entire race – functional AND compulsory, ticks all the boxes

Mont Prolite sleeping bags – lightweight and optimised with one-sided down to maximise the warmth:weight ratio

Mont Adventure Light hiking pants – there was some debate about shorts vs pants before the race but in hindsight… always go pants when matagouri is around! Solid coverage even if you forget your gaiters.

La Sportiva Helios was the paddle shoe of choice for rock hopping and lightning fast drainage.

Jetboil – churning out the back countries and coffee sachets

Enormous bikepacking style saddle bags on the bike legs – various brands – this was a good race for hardtails and ditching backpacks where possible.

Antihistamine tablets – when you forget prevention for sandfly bites… treat the symptom not the cause!

Sharkskins – comfier and less restrictive than wetsuits (but still warm) for the paddling

Underwear underneath your bike knicks… TBC boys!!! (Only Paul does this.)

GODZone Chapter 8 – Akaroa Well, we went back to GODZone like the gluttons we are. We had bright eyed and bushy tailed Jackson to complete our team this year and after our concerns that he was going to wreck himself by running 250km around New Zealand before we got there faded (how he does what he does and doesn't drink coffee is beyond me).

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xnamgi · 6 years

Text

ANON SMS: 37/?

Min Yoongi is one of the most popular students in high school. Having the image of enjoying the high life, when he’s actually struggling with his own personal issues of body image and depression. So one night, he decides to message a random phone number and not knowing that this person will later become his personal diary. (ft. vkook and namjin)

——

Jimin knew this was risk. He knew it’s a rebellious task to sneak a friend into the house with no permission.

Hell, how is that worst? I’m sneaking in my boyfriend.

That one word, the one that still shakes him up in surprise… it clarifies that Min Yoongi is his. Taken aback from his own thoughts, he hurriedly tidies up his room by gathering all the items on the floor and shoving it into his small closet.

It’s nearly midnight, so why does Yoongi want to come over this late? Jimin mumbles, still picking up some left over trash from Taehyung’s last visit. Before throwing the rest away, he notices a red rectangular package peeking underneath his bed. With curious fingers he reaches down to only find the similar sticky notes that one carries, Jeongguk and of course, his partner of crime handwriting.

‘I know one day you will need this ;)’ Damn you Taehyung for having illegible handwriting.

Taking off the bright blue sticky note, the box slips from his grip and onto the floor with the words maximum still plastered in his mind.

I’m going to kill him—no I should thank him?—fuck, would it even fit—jesus why am I actually considering this?... fuck…

Reaching back down, he picks it up and sits on the edge of his bed. Jimin doesn’t know much about gay sex besides watching porno and even then they didn’t provide much information.

He opens the top part of the box and makes it pour all over on his bed in one small section, close within arms length. Jimin knew the basics so he could easily spot the condom and bottled lube. But what made his fingertips sweat more further was a small collar with a bell. The collar itself wasn’t extravagant but it served its purpose. Carefully picking it up like glass, he fiddles with the bell, hearing the sound ring out throughout the house. He idly wonders why would Taehyung put this in here, it’s not like Jimin had a cat.

The loud ding-dong caused Jimin to slide off the bed and onto the wooden floor.

Shit, shit, shit!

With a quick pace, he shoves everything back into the box with one swift motion and kicks it back underneath his bed. Running downstairs, he jumps to the door, almost hitting his forehead in the process. His phone started to ring upstairs, on the second ring he opens the doors and is greeted with one gummy smile. Before he could greet Yoongi properly, familiar arms wrap around him tightly.

“Took you long enough.” Hearing his voice right beside his ear was home. Yoongi felt it too.

“Sorry.” Jimin says and pulls back but Yoongi’s hands slide down to his waist and stays put. “Are you thirsty or hungry?”

“No, I ate before coming here, thanks for the offer babe.” Babe. Jimin never thought he’d hear those words out of Yoongi’s mouth, let alone let it be him who he is calling babe. A faint red appears on the apples of his cheeks and a little speck on the back of his neck. Yoongi lets go another smile because of Jimin’s reaction before closing the door and locking it.

“Well… how long do you plan on staying?” Jimin asks as he starts to make his way back upstairs, turning off all the lights in the process. Yoongi follows slightly behind, with his hands in his pockets.

“I wasn’t planning on going back tonight.” Jimin trips and instinctively Yoongi fingers laces with his and wraps a hand on his waist. “Careful, babe.”

Jimin feels like he’s going to faint at the word babe that still lingers in his head. He licks his dry lips and gives a nervous chuckle. “Oh, of course you are.”

“Did you not what me too? I don’t have too if that’s what you—“

“No…” Chose your words carefully Park Jimin. “I want you.”

Yoongi cocks a eyebrow up at him before they enter his bedroom and everything made sense. Jimin’s eyes followed what Yoongi is eyeing at and fucking hell—

“It’s not what you think.” Jimin nearly flees to the bed to gather the few displaying items still in sight; the collar and condom with the bottled lube peaking out from down below. But Yoongi doesn’t let go of his hand.

“If it’s not what you say it is… why are you trying to clean it up?” That’s a good fucking question, Jimin thinks.

“Um… well…” Yoongi always new Jimin had a habit to touch his hair when he’s nervous, so once he saw his fingers glide through his parted hair, he made sure to face him.

“Jimin, I understand. You don’t need to be ashamed of this, trust me, that isn’t important to me, I will wait for you when you’re ready—“

“—But I don’t want to wait.” Did I say that loudly? Yoongi normally has a poker face, but his eyes always breaks character. So once he noticed his pupils dilated… fuck I did.

“Jimin are you sure, don’t say this because—“

“—I’m sure Yoongi. We might not get another chance—“

“—If you’re worried we won’t have another proper time, then we shouldn’t—“

“—No, it’s not that…” Jimin never thought in a million years he’d think of Yoongi in a sexual way, but damn it all. Out of all nights, Yoongi decided to dress sexy. “Trust me, when I thought of the idea of you coming over was insane and idiotic and absolutely against my rules, I never wanted to… you get the idea. But that’s the thing. This.” Yoongi watches Jimin gesture between the two. “What we have is something I didn’t think would ever exist. You made me adventurous, you made me brave and find confidence in myself. Something I’ve had trouble with myself for the longest time since I could remember. Everything that I am now is because of you and it’s all because I am in love with you.”

Yoongi is frozen in his spot, he could’ve sworn he never heard anyone tell him that besides his parents but even then, his past relationships was nothing compared to Jimin and it never well, it was special. “Shit, I’m sorry… you’re right, I’m probably not thinking this through—“

“I’m in love with you too.” Jimin turns silent, his mouth is hanging open and Yoongi reaches over to cup his cheek. “I’ve been in love with you.” Yoongi gives a soft quiet laugh. “I’m surprised you haven’t noticed, are you really that unaware?”

Jimin doesn’t give an answer but only stares at Yoongi, trying to let it all sink in.

“You’ve changed me too… I didn’t notice it till Namjoon pointed it out.” Yoongi lets his thumb run across his soft cheek. “I already declared all my love to you when I asked you to be mine, which by the way, I still don’t consider that as asking you out.”

Jimin clears his tight throat. “Then are we just hoes together then?”

Yoongi laughs. “Brat. No…” Yoongi takes a deep breath. “Jimin, would you like to be mine?”

Jimin starts to laugh with the softest squeak that makes Yoongi’s fingertips get hotter. “Mine as in?” Jimin asks with a teasing tone and sees Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Hey! It can mean many things, like your sex par—“

Everything stops. It takes a few seconds to know Yoongi’s lips is paired with his own. Jimin was tense underneath Yoongi’s touch and he sensed it, he started to pull back but Jimin’s hands cups around his neck and pulls him closer. Yoongi knew Jimin wasn’t experienced in this type of field but he gave it his best shot. Hearing the soft breathing against each other and having hands explore unknown areas was exciting in Jimin’s mind. Unfortunately this first kiss didn’t last long, Yoongi pulls back.

“I guess I can still take your breath way.” With a cocky smirk. Why this little shit—

“I had better hopes in our first kiss.” Jimin says teasingly.

“Oh?” Yoongi tilts his head. “If I continued Jimin, it would’ve been a lot more than just a kiss.”

“I wouldn’t have objected to it.” Watching Yoongi’s eyes go from playful to lust was a treasure to watch, it made Jimin tremble.

“Don’t tempt me.” Yoongi’s deep voice made Jimin blush even more because he knew damn well he was the reason why he was like this and he took pride in it.

“You’re right, maybe we should just watch a movie and go to sleep.” Jimin smiles and walks past him to kneel beside his T.V. to search for a movie. Jimin heard Yoongi sigh and goes to sit on the bed with a creak. “Unless you have other ideas…”

Yoongi is tempted to take his offer, but as he stares at the remaining items on Jimin’s bed he knew he should wait. “I can live with it.”

“But I can’t.” Yoongi looks back at Jimin, to see he’s seating on the floor beside him. “I mean… yes it’s new for me but I want it with you.”

“Jimin—“

“No hear me out, I know you are objectifying to this because it’s me. Because you’ll be the first person to have me this way and honestly… that doesn’t terrify me. It makes me happy. It doesn’t make me think any less of you. I love you.” Jimin waits for Yoongi to speak but he doesn’t. “But if you don’t want to for your own reason, then we don’t have too, I don’t want to push you either.”

Yoongi thought about it a lot, even when they started to date. But he pushed those needs aside for Jimin. But now he’s asking for it…

“Okay, I will.” Yoongi gets knocked back with Jimin on top of him, lathering him with kisses. “Wait, Jimin, just wait… are you sure, I need you to be sure.”

“I’ve never been more sure.”

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sodoyouknowbts · 7 years

Text

Jin x Reader - By Your Side

Summary: Jin is somewhat arrogant, overly confident and a tease. All the things you find infuriating in a man and he also happens to be your housemate. It’s a wonder how you two can live together without killing each other…but it’s not like you’re anything more than friends. Right?

Genre: Housemates au, love/hate relationship

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader (ft Jimin, Namjoon, Yoongi)

Author: Pilot

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | RaMin

Chapter One

Jin cocks his head to the side, closing his eyes to aid his concentration. He hears it again, the distinct and purposeful knocks on the opposite side of the front door that echo down the hallway and through the house. He sighs, puts his laptop and the report he had been writing aside and gets up off his bed. You had somehow managed to lock yourself out of the house. Again.

Jin strides to the front door and unlocks it, pulling it open for you.

“Keys?” he questions, looking you up and down.

“Forgot them.” You shrug. You shift past him, ignoring the fact that again, he’s topless and head to the kitchen, placing the bag of take out on the marble counter top.

Jin closes the door, pressing it a little deeper into the frame with one hand as he turns the lock with the other. It was an old door and an even older house that came with little upkeep and even more nuances. Jin follows you into the kitchen.

You had left the house earlier that day, locking the door behind you. You had realised it as soon as you had gotten past the post box but couldn’t be bothered turning back, figuring Jin would be home the rest of the day anyway.

“You have to stop doing that. What if I’m not home next time?” He leans against the corner of the wall by the hallway casually, folding his arms across his bare chest, an expression on his face that you can only understand to be mild annoyance.

The last thing you wanted was a lecture from your housemate.

You roll your eyes and focus on unpacking the takeaway containers of food. You scrunch up the plastic bag that had held the containers and move to the laundry, adding it to the much bigger bag of plastic bags that sat between the washing machine and the door to the backyard.

“You’re always around when I need you, Jin. Besides, I’m sure I’d cope even if you’re not here.” Your voice carries from the laundry and grows louder as you head back to the kitchen. “As much as you’d be shocked to hear this, the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

Jin shoots you a look, retorting with “You’re right. It’s actually the universe.”

You don’t hear him, instead attempting to withstand the scalding temperature of the takeaway container as you carry it with you to the dining room table. It slips out of your fingers and lands on the table with a plonk. Admittedly, you could have done that a little more gracefully.

You grab a tissue to dab up the oil that has splattered onto the surface of the table. You spread your fingers underneath the thin edges of the container once more and move it onto yesterday’s newspaper, using the paper as a placemat.

You kick out a chair and go to sit down and in the same movement reach over to pull one of your books over to you thats stacked neatly in the middle of the table.

Jin reaches out to prevent you from leaning all the way over the table as you’re about to get hot oil and soy sauce from the noodles all over the sleeve of your top. He’s a little late and the damage is done. Unaware, you hum to yourself as you go to sit, getting comfortable and folding a leg underneath your body.

He watches you for a moment more while you happily pick at your noodles and flip through your book. He sighs again and heads back to his bedroom. He couldn’t understand you sometimes. He’s glad, he guesses, that today you’re not wearing one of his hoodies. Jin had already lost a number of hoodies to you, stained from droplets of food in odd places.

“Are you going out tonight?” he calls from his room.

“Mmm?” you responded, mouth full of noodles. You take your time to chew and swallow. “Maybe.” you reply, flicking the pages of your book. “Are you?”

“I’ll be back late, I might not come back alone though.”

You knew what that meant. It meant Jin was intending to bring a woman home. You pause and contemplate your plans for the night. Maybe you’d go out and see your boyfriend instead.

It had been half a year since you had moved in together. You couldn't forget how you had first met Kim Seokjin.

It had been the first day of second semester of your second year. You were aimlessly flipping through one of your course books and scanning the contents page, hoping that at least some of the material you’d have to take as a core unit was going to be interesting.

The doors to the lecture theatre swung open with a bang which was immediately followed by a somewhat low and hushed “sorry!”. You had veered your head around to see what idiot had come in twenty minutes late. Surely if they were going to be that late, they’d have had enough brains to skip the next forty minutes and just watch the lecture online.

A tall stranger stood by the large doors to the lecture theatre. He was wearing a red cap, a two-toned bright blue windcheater and red sweat pants. An odd combination of clothes that surely shouldn’t have worked on anyone but on him, they did. If anything, the colours complemented each other.

Of course by then most, if not all but one, of the seats at the long and wooden benches in the lecture hall had already been taken up. You groaned inwardly and watched as the stranger’s eyes scanned the room and settled on the spare seat next to you. As he tried to move between the occupied seats, he accidentally smacked you over the back of your head with his backpack that hung carelessly over his shoulder.

You had shifted around, holding your head, glaring at him. His eyes had widened and he had put his hands out in front of him, apologising. A few murmurs circulated the lecture hall at the interruption and he quickly took a seat next to you.

He proceeded to rummage through his bag and pulled out a notebook, tearing a piece of paper out swiftly, the sound of which seemed to echo throughout the lecture hall and you had glanced at him, irritated again. Your irritation mellowed as you saw his neck and ears grow red in embarrassment although his facial expression remained stoic. He carefully scribbled sorry onto a note and slid it along the bench to you. You glanced at it and crinkled it in your hands.

You spent the rest of the lecture stealing sidewards glances at him. He had been staring straight ahead, unconsciously holding a pen up to his slightly parted lips as he concentrated on the lecturer. His black hair poked out from under his red cap and his fringe would just tickle his eyes when he looked down to write in his notebook. He was handsome.

After the lecture you had been quick to leave, cramming your books and belongings into your tote bag. You slung it over your shoulder and headed to the campus cafe where you had reluctantly agreed to meet your friend Jimin after class. Jimin had wanted to introduce you to one of his mates.

You were in the middle of recounting how this random guy had basically accosted you in the lecture hall when a voice interrupted you from behind.

“I already apologised. There’s no need to continue making a fuss over an accident.” The voice said cooly.

You turned around and looked up. You brought your hand to your face to block out the sun. You stared at him for a second before deciding that you must have been hallucinating. He stepped forward, blocking the rest of the light that harshly interfered with your vision.

“Are you stalking me?” you had blurted, not thinking.

Jimin cackled behind you and he kicked a seat open for the stranger to sit down.

“Y/N, this is Seokjin, but we call him Jin.”

Jin frowned at you, annoyance flickering on his face as he took a seat next to Jimin.

You yourself, had met Jimin during first semester after having to complete a group project together. You knew Jimin was living with a few other university friends but you had never met any of them before and had only heard a few names in conversation. Jin was one of them.

“Do I look like the kind of guy that would stalk women?” he asks, annoyed, his mouth twisted unhappily downwards. “I’m sure you don’t meant to come across as self-absorbed, after all there’s a thing called coincidence.”

His return comment caught you off guard. You honestly hadn’t meant it like that and he had taken it to another snarky and petty level. Visibly annoyed, you had sunk back into the cold and cushion-less seat, tongue pressing the inside of your cheek.

“My turn to apologise. Sorry.” You had said tensely.

“It’s fine.” he stated cooly, leaning back in the seat, examining you. He’d already made himself seem like a complete asshole to you, twice and in less then an hour no less. He hadn’t intended to come off so cold but you had thrown him with the way you had scrunched up his apology note.

Jin stuck his hands in the pockets of that blue windcheater and crossed one leg over the other lazily. Something about the action got to you. If anyone was self-absorbed, it was this guy. Annoyed to spend your lunch break with someone who oozed too much self confidence, you had excused yourself and gotten up to leave.

“Hey, where are you going?” Jimin asked, grabbing onto the sleeve of your cardigan.

“I have some things I need to do.” you had lied. Jimin stood up and gave you a hug goodbye, whispering into your ear as he did.

“He’s a little hard to get to know at first, but he’s a good guy.”

“I’m sure he is.” you had responded, unconvinced.

“You’ll get to know him soon enough.” Jimin offered.

You weren’t sure about that being the case but had decided not to say anything further to Jimin, instead throwing up your arm to wave farewell to Jin, an over-the-top smile on your face.

You should have expected it. Jimin had asked you out for dinner and sure enough you had found yourself standing at the entrance of the Chinese restaurant with Jin and Jimin. Jin didn’t appear like he wanted to be there at all.

“Jin was hungry and wanted Chinese. All good?” Jimin asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You had responded, even if though it wasn’t. The waitress read off a number from a stub of raffle tickets and Jimin exclaimed, sticking his arm out in the crowd.

“23?!” He grabbed at your jumper pulling you through the threshold, “That’s us!”

You had stumbled behind him and Jimin had pulled you sharply and let go, instead clasping his hands together in excitement as the smell of prawn dumplings reached his nose. At the sudden release, you had tripped on the slight step upward and found yourself losing your balance. Jin reached out, steadying you, one hand under your forearm and the other on your back.

“Careful.” he had said and proceeded to shove his hands in his pockets.

You had cleared your throat and attempted to regain your confidence, striding somewhat more surely toward the table for three than you had felt. The contact had made your heart skip a beat.

Seven plates of dumplings and two shared bowls of dandan noodles later, you found yourself giggling at Jin’s terrible jokes. They were so bad that they were good. Jin didn’t seem as up himself as you had previously thought.

Two bottles of wine later and Jimin was asleep on the table, snoring softly, his hair getting dangerously close to tainting itself red from the chilli oil he was next to. Jin had slowly and carefully moved the small bowl of chilli oil out of the way and poured you another glass. It turns out that you both liked eating out, visiting new cafes and had a penchant for rom-coms.

Then it was past eleven and the three of you were being kicked out of the restaurant. Jin had linked Jimin over his arms and Jimin had swayed back and forth, babbling utter nonsense.

You were pleasantly surprised. You hadn’t giggled so much in so long and your cheeks and sides had begun to hurt - especially after Jin had basically emptied the free mints offered at the counter in the front pocket of his hoodie in what was the most obvious manner ever and then he proceeded to hand them out to passers by on the street, like the Oprah of free mints. You wondered how you even got home that night.

First meetings and first bad impressions aside, you found yourself spending more time with ‘My name is Seokjin but call me Jin’.

When you had come across the listing for the house you knew it was perfect and that it was the opportunity you had been looking for to begin the next phase of your life. It was just the right distance from university, right near a direct bus route and close enough to the city that it was only a fifteen minute drive. You had been wanting to live closer to the city anyway, especially given you had decided to apply for a number of jobs located in the city come the end of your degree.

Two bedrooms, one bathroom. A large kitchen that opened up to a shared lounge and dining area, that kind of perfect. You had been looking for somewhere to stay and had made a personal goal to move out, especially as your home was getting too small and crowded. You had long grown out of your small bedroom that only fit a single bed.

You had mentioned it to your friends, holding the printed piece of paper with the listing in front of you in the crowded cafe. You passed it around, urging one of them to move in with you. You had also put up an expression of interest on the university website.

“I’ll move in with you.” Jin had piped up after a little consideration.

“What?”

Jin shrugged, examining the print out. “Yeah. My job in town starts in the summer and I’m sick of living with three other guys. They never clean up after themselves.” he laughs and Jimin pulls a face. Yoongi had scoffed in response and put his feet on the table, crossing them at the ankles.

“Does this mean I have to do it if you move out?” He grumbles. “Namjoon and Jimin are so lazy.”

“Namjoon’s been overseas for half a year.” Jimin responded, correcting him.

“Oh, so then all of that mess is just you then?” Yoongi directed at Jimin, who rolled his eyes.

“I’m out.” Your friend Rae had responded through gritted teeth as she pulled her hair into a pony tail. She took the hair tie from her mouth and looped it around her black hair.

You huffed and looked Jin up and down. You guessed he’d be okay. After all, you got along reasonably well and had known each other for a solid year, just enough to know he was responsible around the house the boys shared and that he was an amazing cook. You had picked at your fingernails while considering the proposition. It would be better to move in with someone you tolerated, you decided, rather than take the risk with a complete stranger.

“Fine, if no one else comes back to me within the week, we’ll move in together. I really need to move out. No take backs.” You bargained.

“No take backs.” Jin had replied, a smile playing at his lips.

“The two of you together…” Jimin had exclaimed, pointing at the both of you while laughing. “That’s trouble waiting to happen!”

“You barely stand each other without arguing about something as it is.” Yoongi said, agreeing with Jimin.

“See, even Yoongi agrees with me!”

“Shut up Jimin!” You had quipped, slapping him. “We don’t hate each other.” You folded your arms over your chest defensively.

Jimin rubbed his arm where you had hit him.

“Yeah but it’s not like you love each other either.” Jimin had replied mischievously.

You stumble home, drunk. Your bag swings violently around your body as you try your hardest to slide the key into the front door. You mutter to yourself and squint your eyes. You weren’t about to let this damn door get the better of you, like your boyfriend had. When you had gone out earlier that night, you hadn’t anticipated that you would have run into your boyfriend snuggling up against another woman.

Jin had hinted he was bringing a woman home tonight, which for you, meant you could either stay home and blast your music loudly to prevent yourself having to hear a string of sexual noises that would flow from Jin’s bedroom to yours, or go out with your laptop and continue editing the book you were reading for work. Of course you had decided on the latter.

So when you spotted your boyfriend of two months sharing food with another woman, his head against the crook of her neck and pattering kisses along her collarbone in public, you were upset but not surprised. You seemed to have a bad track record with guys, almost expecting this sort of stuff to happen. Jin was always telling you that it’s because they weren’t mature enough to handle your strong nature. However it didn’t make it hurt any less.

You collected your things, hands shaking as you paid for the lemon tea you had bought and quickly consumed. The tea had burnt your throat and the sensation reminded you that you would benefit from something a little stronger. That’s how you, alone and upset, shot down two and a half bottles of soju on the steps outside of the convenience store before calling it a night.

Finally, after about a minute of fumbling at the keyhole, you’re successful and the door opens with a click. You lean against the wall of the hallway and bring a leg up to pull off a sneaker. You swap legs and yank the other shoe off and it drops to the floor with a heavy clonk.

You run your hands along the wall and follow it through to the kitchen. The lights were off and you were using your familiarity with the house to help you navigate, which meant squat given you were so inebriated. You could hear muffled moaning sounds coming from Jin’s bedroom. Your hand rests on the doorknob to what you presume is your room. You struggle with it a little and then swings it open.

Jin looks up at the sudden interruption. You can’t see much, only the outline of a woman on top of him, lit only by the soft moonlight streaming through the open curtains in his bedroom.

“Y/N what the f-”

“Jin?” you frown, going to rub your eyes. This wasn’t your bedroom. You don’t register the awkwardness of the situation and before you can stop yourself the words tumble from your mouth. “I saw him. He was cheating on me.”

“What?” Jin sits up and almost causes the girl straddling him to fall backwards on the bed. He quickly gestures for her to get off him. Jin swings his legs over the side of the bed, his back to you, scrambling in the dark to find his boxers, which he pulls on quickly as he stands. You can hear the elastic snapping against his hips.

“You need to go.” he says to the girl who is now pulling a blanket up over herself to cover her nakedness. He makes his way from the centre of the room, around the bed and places his strong hands on your shoulders, quickly spins you around and pushes you out of the doorway of his bedroom. You stumble, your legs tangling up on each other as he tries to seat you on the couch.

He flicks on the light switch on the wall and you squint your eyes at the sudden brightness. He goes to the kitchen and gets out a glass, filling it with cold water from the fridge. Jin brings it over to you and forces you to take a sip. He turns his head slightly, listening and wondering how long it’s going to take for the girl to get dressed and leave. It hadn’t taken more than thirty seconds for him to undress her in the first place.

Jin looks back at you and you’ve slid down onto the rug in the lounge room, legs tucked underneath you as you grasp the cold glass in your hands.

“What happened?“

“I don’t know…” you start, your voice a little wobbly. Maybe you were getting your period soon, maybe that’s why your emotions were so volatile tonight. Jin nods slowly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Finally the girl emerges from Jin’s bedroom, her coat bundled up in front of her. He stands and quickly ushers her to the front door. She lingers against his body, a hand brushing his cheek. He takes her wrist and pulls her to the front door, opening it and gesturing at her to exit. As she takes her leave she turns around to face him. He’s about to close the door when she opens her mouth to speak.

“Tonight was fun.” she begins slowly. Jin’s leaning against the door, slowly edging it closed. He gives a curt nod and smiles through the narrowing gap.

“Let’s do it again sometime?” She asks, hopeful. Jin eyes her up and down again. She was gorgeous - yes… and the sex had been decent… He makes a mental note to keep her in mind the next time he needs a quick fix.

“Call me? She asks.

“Sure.” Jin responds politely and closes the door with finality. He ruffles his hair, sighing and patters back to you. You’re now slumped over the coffee table in the centre of the lounge, moving your fingers through a puddle of condensation that’s developed at the base of the the glass of water, drawing little hearts. In your other hand is your phone.

Jin takes a seat on the rug next to you and you blink at him, your eyelids heavy. You turn your attention back to your phone and your thumb is poised over your boyfriends contact card.

“So did you break up with him?”

You mumble a no and bring your phone back to your face.

“Maybe it was a mistake, maybe -” you try to bargain.

“Don’t lie to yourself. You know what you saw.”

You kick your legs, annoyed. He was right.

“Stop staring at it.”

“What, what now?!”

Jin rolls his eyes and turns his head up, looking at the ceiling. He brings his gaze down to you and slaps the phone from your hand and it drops onto the carpet with a thud.

“Hey what the heck! Why did you do that?!“ you whine. You pick it up. “Should I call him?”

“No? Why? Unless you’re calling him to break up with him.”

You ignore Jin’s piercing gaze and sigh. “I’ll text him that we’re over.”

“Good.”

He watches as you hesitate and second guess yourself. Sighing, he sticks a hand into the glass of water he had gotten you and flicks droplets of cold water on your face. You groan and bring your hand up to your cheek to wipe the water away.

“Hand it over. I’ll do it.” Jin holds out his hand. You stare at it and then look back at the phone. You reach your hand out and pass it to him. Jin clicks his tongue and pulls together a message. You squint your eyes, trying to read it.

“It’s over, scumbag.”

“Scumbag?”

“Asshole?” he questions, pressing the delete button and re-typing asshole.

“Better.” You mumble.

Jin presses send and you can hear the sound of the message disappearing into oblivion. Jin looks at you. You were really down tonight. You were slumped on the lounge room floor and bore no resemblance to the usual bubbly, bright and resolute girl he shared a home with, who wouldn’t be afraid to put him in his place.

Maybe the dating game had slowly chipped away at your self confidence and self respect, Jin thought. Or maybe the guys that you went out with just weren’t able to cope with such a strong-willed woman like yourself. He smirks to himself, idiots, all of them.

“If you want me to, I’ll block and delete his number.” He warns.

You go to reach out for the phone back and he retracts his hand, keeping it out of your reach.

“Tell me what you want me to do. I’ll give you ten seconds.” He begins to count down and you hit the floor with your hand in dispute.

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five…”

“Press delete.”

He presses delete and it’s done.

Jin then takes the liberty to go through your phone, making sure that he’s also deleted the messages and has blocked the number. He realises that you had set your boyfriend as number one on speed dial. Annoyed, he changes your new ex to his number instead and holds your phone back out to you.

“I’m number one on your speed dial now. I’ll come for you whenever you need.” He says with earnest.

“Is this how you pick girls up?” you guip, laughing to yourself.

“What?” he scoffs. “Why would I give random girls my number? Are you crazy?”

“Don’t get mad if I call you by accident…” you say, slurring, pointing at him with an unsteady hand.

He gets up, pinching his boxers between his fingers and pulling them down slightly, re-adjusting them as they had crept up his legs.

“Do you mean it?” you ask Jin, looking at him through heavy lids.

“I do. I’ll be there for you.” He sighs and heads over to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. “Maybe just knock on my door first before barging in?”

You flush at the thought and hide your face in your hands. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” he takes a gulp, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He puts the glass on the counter. “She wasn’t really my style anyway.” He looks at you.

“Get up and go to sleep.” He says, moving over to you slumped on the rug. Jin extends his leg and pokes your shoulder with his foot. He sighs as he watches you pull yourself up and stumble to his bedroom.

“Wrong bedroom.” he utters. You freeze and turn back around, laughing goofily, your hair a mess. You smile sheepishly and head into your room, falling straight onto your bed.

To be continued.

#kim seokjin #kim seokjin fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #bts x reader #bts housemate au #bts imagines

365 notes · View notes

jeon-jungkxook · 7 years

Text

La Douleur Exquise | 03

Summary: “It was a question you had worn on your lips for days - like a loose thread on your favorite sweater you couldn’t resist pulling - despite knowing it could all unravel around you.

‘Do you love me?’ you asked.

In his hesitation, you found your answer.”

Genre: Soulmates!Taehyung (ft. Jeon Jungkook); Smut + Angst; Hanahaki Disease (not my idea)

La Douleur Exquise - French: (n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable.

01 | 02 | 03

You slowly opened your heavy eyelids, adjusting to the bright light that came through the window. Stretching your limbs, you turn to find that the area beside you is vacant of any warmth, of any sign that another body was there. Where could Jungkook have gone, you thought. But your thoughts were soon interrupted by a voice that was frighteningly similar to said boy.

“Ah, (Y/N), you’re finally up,” the voice said, a smile evident in the tone. You whipped your head around to the entrance of your bedroom, only to find that there was no one there.

“Stop panicking, I can sense your fear,” it chuckled. “It’s me - Jungkook. As your gaurdian angel, I’m able to communicate with you inside of your head by just thinking the words I’d say aloud. I also hold the ability to sense your emotions, which is why I felt your fear.”

“What the hell,” you replied, and you heard Jungkook giggle ever-so-slightly.

“Before you exit your bedroom, I wanted you to know that your friend Taehyung thinks that we’ve been dating for six months. Also, you might not have figured it out yet, but the reason I had you change into my shirt was because we need to make it look as if we, you know, slept together.”

“Ah,“ you sighed. “Smart of you, and this is supposed to make him start to like me the way I like him?”

“Well, this is day one. So we first start with making him jealous.”

Nodding your head - although Jungkook wasn’t able to see you - you stride out of your room and into the kitchen of your shared apartment with Taehyung. Seated at the table, you found your best friend and your gaurdian angel both staring at you, all conversation coming to a halt as soon as you made your entrance.

Jungkook was the first to spring into action, taking long strides towards you and enveloping you in a warm hug. “Good morning, Princess!” He grinned, leaning down to press his soft lips against yours. The kiss was short, yet it had your eyes widening to the size of saucers.

“Jungkook, what the actual fuck!”you practically screamed at him. “Shut up. You think I wanted to do that? The guy was staring at us, I had to make it look real,” the boy huffed, his voice resembling that of a small child who lost their toy. “Loosen up, he’s going to suspect something if you keep bulging your eyes out at me.”

A wide grin stretched onto Jungkook’s handsome face as he rested his hand on the small of your back, guiding you to an empty seat. Visibly relaxing, you flick your gaze over to Taehyung to see him staring at your collarbone.

You followed the boy’s eyes to find what seemed to be about three or four hickeys decorating your upper chest. The last puzzle piece to the mystery that was Jeon Jungkook seemed to finally find it’s place as it dawned on you that the reason the man had placed his hand over your chest was to create the illusion of hickeys; which, in effect, would grab Taehyung’s attention.

“Shit, Jungkook you’re smart as hell,” you called out to him through your mind connection.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Jungkook watch Taehyung as he shamelessly concentrated on your chest. Clearing his throat, Jungkook took your hands in his over the marble countertop as he gave them a light squeeze. “Do you want me to make you some coffee, Princess?” He asked, taking the initiative to break the awkward silence between the three of you.

“Sure, thank you,” you smiled at him as he slid his large hands out of your smaller ones. Jungkook got to his feet and headed over to the marble countertop, where the coffee pot stood and began to prepare your hot drink. As the boy’s back was turned, Taehyung whispered to you, “(Y/N), can I talk to you for a second?” Nodding your head, you followed your best friend into your room where he closed your door enough to provide the both of you with privacy.

“So,” he began. “A boyfriend, huh?” You watched as the opposite folded his muscular arms across his chest defensively as he peered at you with an unreadable expression.

“Yes, we’ve been together for six months-” you began.

“Oh, I’m well aware of how long you’ve been seeing each other,” he deadpanned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he fluttered his eyelids shut. “What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell me, why you’ve been hiding something as important as this from me for so long. God, six whole months and I didn’t even know about it! Why didn’t you tell me, (Y/N)?”

“Why are you acting like a saint when you’re doing the exact same thing?!” You challenged, a cold, unfriendly tone lacing your words like venom from the fangs of a deadly snake.

Taehyung wore a look of confusion, but he stood there quietly, indicating for you to continue. “Don’t play dumb with me. I saw you at the party yesterday with- what’s her name? Rose? I saw how you two were kissing and groping each other like there was no tomorrow.

“That was basically second base in someone’s kitchen! And, if I were to take a wild guess, I’d say you two were just fucking - I don’t know for how long but it must be well over a week that you guys have been doing this.

“I was wondering how you were so good at kissing when we were playing that game at the party,” you mumbled the last part to yourself, but loud enough for Taehyung to hear as well. Said boy was rendered speechless, eyes wide, mouth slightly opened, and eyebrows knitted. His breath hitched in your throat as his defensive pose faltered, transforming into that of shame - but the boy still held on to a hint of rage which you spotted in his chocolate brown orbs.

Pressing his lips together to form a straight line, Taehyung took a step closer to you, and you took one step back. “Look,” he started. “I’m sorry, I was planning on asking her on a proper date and getting to know her the way any sane human being would. It’s just- Everytime I see her I get so caught up in her beauty and she just- God, I don’t know what’s gotten into me. She’s everything I look for in a girl.

“She’s beautiful, she’s kind, she’s caring and compassionate, and she’s intelligent too. I’ve never found a woman quite like her. She’s the only girl I want to be with - for the rest of my life, I’m sure of it.”

There it was; the halting of your heart beat, the breath that hitched in your throat, and the unpleasant churning on your stomach that had you digging your teeth into the flesh of your lower lip in a failed attempt to stop it from quivering. Inhaling deeply, you close your heavy eyelids as you furrowed your eyebrows. “It’s okay, Taehyung,” you whisper, voice not as shaky as you expected it to be. “I’m sorry and you’re sorry, just go back out to the kitchen - I’ll be there in a second.”

Leaning in to give you a quick hug, Taehyung walks out of the silent room. You sunk to your knees, your hands covering your face as you let out a deep sigh. Why were you even surprised about Taehyung talking about Rose? You knew he didn’t love you the way you did him, so it shouldn’t have made you like this.

But sometimes, we still hold on to a thin string of hope; one that, with time, will begin to tear and eventually fall apart - just like our worlds when the love of our lives want to spend the rest of theirs with someone else.

You didn’t want to go back into the kitchen, acting as if you were fine when you knew damn well that you weren’t. Jungkook must’ve sensed it too, because although he didn’t say anything you felt a hint of his concern through your connection.

Taehyung was being a fucking idiot, how could one not notice your love for him? You never tried to hide it, you just didn’t flat out tell him, believing he’d take the countless hints you threw at him into consideration.

Pushing yourself off of the ground, you got to your feet and made your way to your unmade bed, hopping under the covers and pulling them over your head. In this state, you were able to cry to your heart’s content with no one to judge you or tell you that everything was going to be okay - because it wasn’t okay, and it never would be okay.

Tears rolled down your cheeks mercilessly as your trembling fingers took hold of the pillow beside you, hugging it close to your body as a means to coping with the emptiness you felt.

After what felt like hours of non-stop crying, you’d fallen into another deep slumber.

A sudden churning in my stomach was all that I needed to let me know that (Y/N) was feeling down beyond compare. A large rubber knot formed in my chest, convulsing and spreading to my veins as I broke out into a cold sweat at my temples. I hunched over the marble countertop, knuckles turning white as I held onto the handle of the coffee mug for dear life.

“Jungkook? You good, man?” Taehyung asked, genuine concern written on his face. I was so shocked by the pain that I didn’t even notice that Taehyung had returned to the kitchen. Said man hurried to my side, resting his hand on my shoulder, which only sent a burst of electricity to my spine, and I shivered under his touch.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my lips into a straight line, standing up to my full height and giving the opposite a nod. “I think it’s all that alcohol I had last night, I was wondering how come I wasn’t hung over this morning,” I forced a chuckle and watched as Taehyung relaxed his tensed muscles.

“Ah, I feel you. That happens to me sometimes too,” he sighed, relived that I was having a heart attack in his apartment. “I’m out of pain killers, but I’ll go out and grab some for you?”

This guy was such a kind person, how could he hurt someone like (Y/N) so badly? She didn’t deserve that kind of treatment - then again, Kim Taehyung had no idea about her feelings for him. Leaning up against the counter behind me, I flashed Taehyung a toothy grin. “That’d be great, actually. Thanks,” I said. “I’m gonna go lay down, thanks again man.”

I watched as the boy jogged down to the exit where his sneakers and his leather jacket were, quickly slapping the on before grabbing his keys and leaving me alone.

I practically ran over to (Y/N)’s room to find her door closed. I wrapped my knuckles against the door three times, and no answer. “(Y/N)?” I called out. No answer.

Having no choice, I slowly turned the brass knob and pushed the wooden door open to see her body fully enveloped in her down comforter. Tip-toeing up to the side of her bed, I gently peeled the sheets off of her to reveal her tear stained face, eyes puffy and nose tinted red.

Seeing (Y/N) like this broke my heart into a million pieces; she didn’t deserve this, but the little bit of hope that she held onto for dear life was tearing her apart.

I decided not to wake her from her slumber and instead crawled into bed with her. I placed a pillow in between us for her sake and laid on my back in deep thought. But about a minute later, I felt the woman stir beside me.

Turning my head to face her, I found (Y/N) staring up at me, tears threatening to spill once more. “Jungkook,” she whispered, a crack evident in her voice. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cause you anymore trouble i-“l

I placed my index finger over her chapped lips to silence her apologies, offering her a sympathetic grin. "Hush, (Y/N). You’re not bothering me, I could’ve left a while ago but here I am.

"Cry until you can’t cry anymore - let it all out, yeah? I’m here for you, love.”

“Jungkook?” She said, peering up at me with innocent eyes. “I know you’ve already done a lot for me but- can you please hold me in your arms? I need it right now.”

Instead of answering, I opened my arms, letting her know that she was welcome to do so. I watched as she put the pillow in between us to the side and shimmied over to me until her head rested on my chest and her arms snaked around my waist. I rested my hands on the nape of her neck, my fingers toying with the hair there and I placed my chin on top of her head after giving her a small kiss on her forehead.

“Thank you,” she smiled up at me. And that was when I saw it for the first time; (Y/N)’s contentment, the way her eyes crinkled when she grinned, how the apples of her cheeks lifted to frame her face perfectly. That was when I realised that she wasn’t only a gem on the inside…

But she was pretty damn beautiful on the outside too.

Author’s Note: Damnit, Taehyung, you can’t be so dense with (Y/N)’s feelings. At least her might in shining armor- I’m I mean Jungkook 👀, came to make her feel better… Finally I’m done with with part 3!! I apologise for the long wait once more and I am already working on part four so not to worry, the next part will be out within a week and a half!!! 🖤

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mockjesse · 7 years

Text

100 important questions about jesse girard.

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name?

jesse thomas girard

Where and when were you born?

i was born in wilmington, north carolina on october 1st, 1988.

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.)

hans girard ( my father) has owned his own pub since he first came to america in 1986. he’s hard working, emotionally distant, and very a man of few words. hans only speaks when he absolutely has to. frieda girard (my mother) managed finances at the pub and was a part owner of a gift shop downtown. she was also very emotionally distant, but she was much more outspoken than her husband. she passed away in september of 2017.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

N/A ( i’m an only child, thank god )

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

now i reside in los angeles ( ocean park ), on my own in a 501 sq ft. studio apartment. it’s pretty cozy, i don’t think i’d ever upgrade, i like the space i have. my favorite spot is my balcony.

What is your occupation?

director/producer for the hit television show, countenance

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

i’m 6′3, 196 pounds, with brown eyes and dark brown hair. i live in oversized sweaters and jeans, but sometimes i’ll venture out in a pair of sweats and a t shirt, that’s quite rare. not as rare as formal attire. i don’t think i own a suit but i have two nice button down shirts and one pair of navy slacks. i have a scar that stretches from the bottom of my belly button to my left pelvic bone from a sledding accident when i was nine. i have two tattoos that are very hidden. one on my right hip ( a dara celtic knot for my maternal grandmother, who was irish ) and a vacancy sign across the right side of my chest ( a drunken decision )

To which social class do you belong?

upper class.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

shellfish allergy, and a few mental illnesses.

Are you right- or left-handed?

lefthanded

What does your voice sound like?

deep and often monotone. friends have observed that i sometimes use a german accent (much like my fathers) to refer to anything german or my heritage.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

“like”

“actually”

“literally”

“fuck you”

“don’t touch me”

“ok so”

“no”

“jesus fuck”

What do you have in your pockets?

loose change as always, my wallet, a pack of spearmint gum ( which i religiously chew ) and my keys.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

i bite my nails down to a nub. it makes everyone crazy. i nibble at them until they bleed. i crack my knuckles when i’m nervous. sometimes i click my tongue when i’m trying to avoid saying something I’ll regret. when someone is talking to me at work, i may walk away halfway through the conversation to do something else, not because i’m bored but because i have so many things to do and if i don’t do it now, i’ll forget.

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general?

it wasn’t easy growing up in my household. you developed thick skin very early on, and you learned to rely on yourself. there weren’t many warm and fuzzy moments, but they provided all of my essential needs such as food, water, and a roof over my head.

What is your earliest memory?

probably my fourth birthday party at mcdonalds. i hated clowns. it was hell. i swear ronald had it out for me.

How much schooling have you had?

i got my bachelors at university of north carolina at wilmington and my masters at nyu

Did you enjoy school?

absolutely. it was an escape for me. home life could be very discouraging, i could show up on campus, take a test, and suddenly i felt better.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

i suppose my teachers and professors taught me most of what i know today.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

my role models ended up being directors i idolized growing up. my favorites are stanley kubrick and alfred hitchcock. i suppose you can call them role models. i want what they have, i want to direct thrillers and leave the audience on the edge of their seats. i think they each value suspense and storytelling, and i do too.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family?

i did not get on very well with my parents. i think my uncles and aunts were easier to get along with, because they have become much more collectivist through the years. they gave me most of my affection in my childhood. my grandparents gave solid advice so i valued them too.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

at one point i wanted to be a police officer but most little boys do. that dream vanished quick, i think directing came at age eleven.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

i liked to watch movies. i hated tv shows. i would turn on hbo or showtime and just watch movie after movie while my parents worked. i liked to skateboard as a teenager, and i also took up photography as a hobby during middle school and high school.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

many people joked that i was a 40 year old man trapped in a 8 year old’s body. i was always very quiet, very observant. i never spoke unless spoken to, that was rare. i was very restless, i hated bullies. i would defend a kid i didn’t even know on the playground. i was suspended for many fights.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? When and with whom was your first kiss?

not popular at all, i was too quiet. i had a few friends in middle school and one good one in high school. i did not open up to a lot of people, so i think a lot of people took that personal. my friends in middle school were always studious but goofy. we drifted apart when we went to different high schools. my best friend in high school was nick staffield, who was a lot like me. we were both quiet and distant but we had this mutual understanding that we didn’t need to know what the other person went home to. he had a pretty rough homelife too. so we would go to the cinema after class or stay behind after photography to look at our negatives. my first kiss with a girl was with annaleigh winslow, she was my first girlfriend. it was freshman year. she had to make all of the first moves because i was really unfamiliar with romance. my first kiss a guy was with nick, our senior year. it unfortunately was one of the reasons we lost touch.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

not a virgin, no. i lost my virginity with a girl in college, freshman year. we hooked up at a party, i think her name was rachel. we didn’t do formalities. it was nice, and she didn’t expect much from me after, so i appreciated her. however, it set unusually high standards for hookups at parties. my first time with a guy was different. it was senior year of college and we went into it with no strings attached. he was some big jock so i went with it, i figured he wasn’t into relationships. but he also wouldn’t stop texting me afterwards. his name was alex, i think he has a fiancee now.

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

i think my first table reading of countenance was surreal. it made me feel like it was all coming together. i feel bad, i made very few notes to the actors, but i think i was immersed, completely.

Who has had the most influence on you?

i would say my professors from tisch and uncw. their input, their criticism, and their teachings have pushed me to be where i am today.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

my greatest achievement was getting a second season of countenance. i honestly didn’t see it coming, but i’m a pessimist.

What is your greatest regret?

not saying goodbye to my mother before she passed.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

i don’t know if i’ve done anything evil but i did sleep with a married professor...

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

just some minor tickets for drinking in college.

When was the time you were the most frightened?

i hate heights, so any time i have to go on a plane? i have a panic attack.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

one time i stretched during a presentation in grad school and my shirt button popped off and everyone started laughing and i wanted to die.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

i think i would open myself up more to people and relationships. it would have prepared me more.

What is your best memory?

i think when i got a call about a network picking up countenance. i was floored, i threw up.

What is your worst memory?

finding out my mother had passed away while i was filming.

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

pessimist.

What is your greatest fear?

i think complete failure scares me a lot... but loneliness keeps me up at night.

What are your religious views?

agnostic.

What are your political views?

liberal

What are your views on sex?

love it, but it comes with a lot of strings attached so i’ve been holding off.

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

nah i couldn’t kill. just seriously injure.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do?

i think levels of disrespect are what lead us to be evil. i won’t dwell on it or expand because it’ll anger me.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

no but i do believe in love.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

i think setting out to do what you want and then accomplishing some or most of it is pretty damn successful.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

i’m never honest. i hate telling others what’s on my mind, or how i’m feeling. it feels too personal, and it feels invasive. i’m selective about who i share with.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

i think we all do. i was conditioned to, but i’m unlearning all of them.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

i refuse to fucking sky dive because i don’t see the point of plummeting to your death and relying on a flimsy piece of cloth to save me ? no ? fuck that ? why do people like to fall out of the motherfucking sky?

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

uhh.. my friends. the few i have. if i form a close bond with someone, even if i don’t open up to them, i’d most likely take a bullet for them. i may be stoic but i’m a pile of mush inside.

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

i keep most people at a distance as a default. i don’t treat anyone poor unless they absolutely warrant it. i try to remain civil with everyone. with people i’m close with, my softer side is more common. i like to give them more of my personality to make up for my lack of affection or emotional availability.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

i’m not sure i have someone like that.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

no spouse, no s/o. it’s complicated.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

no i haven’t but i have experienced spells of infatuation and it’s probably the worst thing i’ve ever dealt with in my life. who likes to feel all that shit at once? jesus, what a mess.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

i’d really like.. someone who understands me without any invasive questions. they won’t ask me for more than i can give. i’m so inexperienced in romance so my s/o would have to be patient with me. i guess beyond that? a nice smile.. yeah i’d like them to have a nice smile.

How close are you to your family?

not very. i do speak with my aunts sometimes, that’s about it.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not?

no family, i’m not really sure if i’ll ever reach that point in my life. it sounds terrifying. i don’t think i’m qualified to take care of another human like that. it’s miraculous my fish have survived as long as they have.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

there’s some people in the crew and the cast that i might call if i absolutely had to. i really don’t like to rely on someone else, though.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

not really.. i mean once again i feel like one person might come to mind but it’s.. yeah that’s dumb, sorry. we barely know each other so i’m overreacting.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

my goldfish would probably miss me, they wouldn’t be able to eat, after all.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

i don’t despise anyone. i dislike a few people. i think they all know who they are.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

god i should avoid conflict but i don’t. i try to remain neutral unless i’m having a bad day, or if i feel like someone is being treated poorly. then the gloves come off.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

i hate doing it, but yeah. i think my job has taught me that the only way to succeed is to take a leadership role. it drains me, but the outcome is always rewarding.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

jesus fuck, no way. those convention panels shouldn’t exist. that’s my hell. i hate answering questions, especially personal ones. thank god, the business related questions are usually directed at me, while the personal ones are directed at my cast. otherwise i think i’d lose it.

Do you care what others think of you?

i think it depends on the person. i care what my family thinks. other than that.. not really.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

i like photography and painting with watercolors. it helps with creativity so i never run dry. i get inspiration from the smallest thing, so it keeps me fresh.

What is your most treasured possession?

my projector or my laptop. i love technology so much, i wish i had something more meaningful but that’s what comes to mind.

What is your favorite color?

navy or olive.

What is your favorite food?

grilled cheese. i think i eat it more than i should.

What, if anything, do you like to read?

i think i just thumb through the classics, the most. steinbeck is my favorite author, sometimes i’ll read thoreau.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

a movie with beautiful cinematography, a song with a symphony or large instrumental accompany, or a mini series.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

i think if you drew blood from me, half of it would actually be red wine. i love red wine. i drink a glass or two every night. i used to smoke cigarettes... i’ll smoke one after sex because i’m a walking cliche. i hate drugs for the most part. they never give me the thrill people claim to have when they take them. to me it’s a waste of time when you could have a better night with a bottle of cabernet.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

usually i’ll put a movie on my projector and i’ll pretend to start a book, but then i’ll just watch a tv show or something.

What makes you laugh?

i actually love certain vines. cute animal vines have a place in my stony heart.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you?

rain ponchos are fucking atrocious.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

i usually get up and paint or i’ll sit outside on my balcony and people watch with a cup of coffee. usually everyone’s drunk, so what more could you ask for?

How do you deal with stress?

i stress clean. or i stew about it until i can nap.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

planning is sexy. a top ten turn on for me.

What are your pet peeves?

well there’s a special place in hell for anyone who doesn’t use a fucking turn signal when switching lanes.

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

usually i get up, grab a cup of coffee and a granola bar and head to work. if i wake up late and forget the granola bar or coffee, my coworkers are in trouble.

What is your greatest strength as a person?

i think my determination and organization. i believe that’s how i got my own show at a young age like this

What is your greatest weakness?

my inability to relate to people or my emotional capacity. it’s just low and i think i really miss out on a lot because of it.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i think i’d be more open with my friends. tell them more about myself.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

introverted.

Are you generally organized or messy?

organized.

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

three things i’m good at: my job, anything requiring creativity, & organization

three things i’m bad at: anything with hand eye coordination, staying in my lane, & responsibility.

Do you like yourself?

this is a loaded question. i like traits about myself. overall there’s a lot i’d change.

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

i would love one oscar, at least. i feel like i could easily retire with one (1) oscar.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

hopefully still at countenance, maybe wrapping it up and venturing into movies.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

in my sleep. please @ god or something.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

travel is always on my bucket list but that’s hard in 24 hours. i think i’d make a lot of phone calls and say stuff to people that i couldn’t say right now. i would want everyone to know exactly how i feel about them. i’d probably eat a whole bowl of cookie dough because you gotta go out in a blaze of glory. and then maybe i’d have sex one last time because it’s been awhile...

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?

hopefully, my accomplishments on screen. i know i can also be difficult on set... but i’d like my cast and crew to think of me in a positive light... maybe have an impact on them too.

What three words best describe your personality?

witty, tempestuous, & protective.

What three words would others probably use to describe you?

stoic, tempestuous, & enigmatic.

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

ooc; honestly jesse ?! if you spent half your time telling others how you really felt, you’d solve 99.9% of your problems. it’s so hard to open up, but you’re missing out on life by holding everyone at an arms length, man !! please just @ people next time ? jesus christ dude.

#valencetalk #oh boy this is a mess im so sorry

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connectingals · 4 years

Audio

Welcome to Connecting ALS. On this episode of Connecting ALS, Mike and Jeremy talk to Dr. Lauren Tabor Gray, Ph.D., CCC-SLP, a clinical researcher and speech pathologist and co-director of the Phil Smith Neuroscience Institute in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Dr. Gray discusses the increasing use of telehealth to treat patients in a time of extreme social distancing brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. She also gives insight on providing clinical care for people dealing with the onset of speaking and swallowing challenges as their disease progresses, and an update on clinical research.

To learn more about recent changes to Medicare rules expanding access to telehealth, check out https://alsadotorg.wordpress.com/2020/03/20/medicare-coverage-for-telehealth-visits-expanded-during-covid-19-pandemic/

You can also learn more about access to telemedicine at http://www.alsa.org/assets/pdfs/association-weekly-docs/medicare-telemedicine_factsheet.pdf

To better understand swallowing challenges and managing nutrition read http://www.alsa.org/assets/pdfs/living-with-als-manuals/lwals_08_2017.pdf

This episode was produced by Garrett Tiedemann and is brought to you by The ALS Association’s national office and the Association’s Minnesota/North Dakota/South Dakota Chapter.

Transcript:

Lauren Tabor Gray: Ultimately the goal is whatever the patient wants.

Mike Stephenson (in-studio): Hello and welcome to Connecting ALS. I am one of your hosts, Mike Stephenson. I am thrilled as always to be joined by my cohost on the East Coast, Jeremy Holden. Jeremy, set the scene for me in your neighborhood and city. Is it quiet? Are people doing the right thing and adhering to CDC guidelines about social distancing and the like?

Jeremy Holden (in-studio): Yeah, I say for the most part. It's noticeably quiet. If I go out to walk the dogs, there are fewer people on the walking path, but you know, people are doing the, the porch socialization, you know, waving to neighbors, I see some sidewalk to porch conversations happening. So I think people are being creative and finding ways to engage with their neighbors. But certainly I'm seeing people adhering to best practices as described by the CDC. What are you seeing?

Mike Stephenson: Yeah, the same, the same here in Minnesota. The weather is warming up a little bit and people are anxious I think to get outdoors. But everyone wants to be cognizant of those guidelines and be respectful and, and try and keep everyone safe. Yeah, a lot of kind of distance walking and distance socializing and hopefully that's working. And we've been trying here on connecting ALS to keep our listeners up to speed on the COVID-19 pandemic from an ALS specific lens. So we've been discussing various tie-in topics and for this week's episode we want to connect with someone in a clinical setting as a ALS clinics all around the country are facing changes as you might expect, trying to limit exposure for their patients. And we had the good fortune of speaking with Lauren Tabor Gray from the Phil Smith ALS Clinic at Holy Cross Hospital in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And Jeremy, Lauren had some excellent insight into not only what her clinic is experiencing at the moment, but some of the things that they're corresponding with their patients on.

Jeremy Holden: She did and you know we heard last week when we talked to Kathleen Sheehan at The ALS Association about some changes to access that telehealth and I, you know, I was struck by Lauren kind of digging into the way that,their clinic down there is, is dealing with and really trying to lean into the telehealth options in these times of extreme social distancing. And really it's not hard to imagine that this becomes a pivotal moment in the adoption of telehealth. We'll hear from Lauren in a moment about the ways that they are incorporating that into their patient outreach.

Mike Stephenson: Yeah, it was very interesting to hear and it's possible that a lot will change in the coming weeks across the nation, across the world and telehealth is going to be a big part of health care probably moving forward and certainly for the time that we're living with the pandemic and we should say that this conversation with Lauren Tabor Gray was recorded on Tuesday, March 24th so anything that she's going to speak to regarding her clinic's adjustments was coming from that period of time. We just want to let you know that, but let's take a listen to what Dr. Lauren Tabor Gray had to say.

Mike Stephenson:

We are joined today by Lauren Tabor Gray, the co-director of the Phil Smith ALS Clinic at Holy Cross Hospital in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Lauren, thanks so much for being with us on Connecting ALS today.

Lauren Tabor Gray: Of course. Happy to join. Thank you for having me.

Jeremy Holden: Lauren, can you just tell us a little bit about your background and your role over the Phil Smith Center and a little bit about what you do?

Lauren Tabor Gray: Sure. So I've been doing research in ALS for about 10 years now. I started at the university of South Florida with Dr. Emily Plowman, who was my Ph.D mentor at the University of Florida as well. I did my Ph.D at the University of Florida with Dr. Plowman and predominantly did ALS research and speech and swallowing disorders, which is kind of my niche of research and clinical care as well. In 2018 I moved down to Fort Lauderdale and was very fortunate enough to coincide my arrival in Fort Lauderdale with the opening of the Phil Smith Neuroscience Institute. So the story of our clinic is, is actually a really good one. Phil Smith was an ALS patient at Massachusetts General Hospital and he was a very fortunate man, was very successful, and had a jet that he took to and from the Mass General ALS clinic.

Lauren Tabor Gray: And he didn't like that there wasn't a good kind of multidisciplinary clinic in his community. So he made a very gracious donation to Holy Cross Hospital, which created the Phil Smith Neuroscience Institute and subsequently the Phil Smith ALS Clinic. So here we are, three kind of short years later. I'm currently the co-director of the ALS clinic with Dr. Eduardo Locatelli, who is one of our neurologists. And currently my time is 50% clinical and 50% research. So it really works out to be a dream job for me because I have a hand in both pots, which is something I've, I've always wanted.

Mike Stephenson: That's great. And I think that's something that not a lot of clinicians are able to balance well, and it's, it's so cool that you are kind of splitting your time in that way. And I do, we want to ask you about your research a little bit later on in this conversation, but we're going to start where we're going to start because given the state of the world and the ongoing pandemic, it's hard not to begin any conversation with that topic. Can you, Lauren just tell us what's happening at your hospital right now in Florida and how your clinic is adjusting?

Lauren Tabor Gray: Sure. So the neuroscience Institute where our clinic is housed is connected to Holy Cross Hospital. So our hospital is transitioning to COVID floors versus standard of care floors and keeping them completely separate at this time. And all of the surrounding outpatient facilities that are really on hospital campus are now being turned into coronavirus treatment centers. So we have fever clinics and places where people can go to be screened and subsequently tested and treated. And that's all kind of in transition at this point in time. Right now we're from an ALS clinic standpoint, we're transitioning to 100% telehealth. You know, this virus targets the respiratory system. And that's really not something our patients can tolerate because in the event that they do get a respiratory illness, you know, it's uh, the primary cause of mortality is respiratory insufficiency. So that would really be a huge, a huge blow to their system. So we're working on establishing all of our telehealth protocols and how to do diagnostics and evaluation over the phone.

Jeremy Holden: So Lauren, what does that look like? I mean, walk me through as someone who's never been a party to a tele \health session, what, what does that actually look like?

Lauren Tabor Gray: So my experience with telehealth kind of started when I was at the University of South Florida in Tampa. They, when patients got to very advanced stages of the disease, we would do some sort of HIPAA compliance software, do FaceTime visits with the patient in their home. The respiratory therapist would go out to the home, do the vitals, get the vital capacity, and then we would basically pass around an iPad and do a FaceTime visit with each one of the multidisciplinary care professionals in order to do it as good a visit as we could from a symptom management standpoint. Now that we're in this coronavirus kind of unchartered territory, people are limited in their ability to go into the home with these high risk patients. So a lot of our home health companies are no longer doing in person visits with these patients. So right now, you know, our team and our patients have been incredibly flexible during this time, which I really appreciate.

Lauren Tabor Gray: But as you guys know, this is a rapidly progressive disease. And in our clinics specifically, we're really dependent on objective measures. So vital capacity, their peak call flow, speaking rate, lingual pressure, and each time the patient comes into the clinic in person, we graphically plot these measures online and then we track and trend each individual's disease progression as they come back into the clinic. So with them being just via FaceTime or via Zoom conference call. We're limited in that from a telehealth standpoint. But you know with the advances in technology, we're really fortunate to have these audio visual conferencing abilities. So I will let you know on that we're doing the best we can here in this transition.

Mike Stephenson: Yeah, I think that's all that anyone can ask. And hearing what you said about having to do some of those objective measures and those physical tests obviously aren't going to translate particularly well to a telehealth setting. Is there anything in particular that you think still works well close to what you're getting in person in a clinic via telehealth?

Lauren Tabor Gray: So interestingly the Northeastern ALS consortium is a conference that we go to every year. It's one of the biggest ALS conferences in the country and a few researchers at Massachusetts General including Dr. James Barry has been working on a iPhone or some sort of smartphone application where we can take these measurements over the phone in order to use as research outcome measures. And one of the things that they found works pretty well is speaking rate. So how quickly the person is speaking, and there's been a lot of research into this being a very sensitive measure to track changes in bulbar function, so speech and swallowing. So we can definitely use that, this as an opportunity to continue to do measures like that. But you know, kind of limited here from an objective standpoint.

Mike Stephenson: Right. That makes sense.

Jeremy Holden: What are you hearing from the patients that you're having the sessions with? Anything in particular that you're hearing related to the pandemic or just in general about the telehealth process?

Lauren Tabor Gray: Overall I think our patients have been, they've expressed a lot of gratitude to our clinic for trying to continue services. And despite all of this, you know, they know they're not the only patients, but they are our focus in the ALS clinic obviously. So they just want to be reassured that they can still get services in the home, that they can still get the medical equipment that they need. So a lot of patients have reached out with kind of just like, Hey, here's my list of questions. And then we put them on for a conference call and we've just addressed them one by one. So it might be forcing some people to be a little bit more proactive in fear that they're not going to be able to get the services they need, which can be the silver lining I suppose. But.

Mike Stephenson: Yeah, and as you said earlier, because we're all adjusting, I think it's going to take some time and for both the clinics and the families living with ALS to kind of figure out the right sort of rhythm of care and we're all learning as we go. So it's good to hear that the transition thus far for you in your clinic is going about as smoothly as it could given where we're at.

Lauren Tabor Gray: Yeah.

Mike Stephenson: Aside from just adhering to general best practices around social distancing and hygiene, with everything happening with COVID-19 are there additional specific precautions that you're telling families living with ALS, that they should be aware of?

Lauren Tabor Gray: Not anything additional. I just think we're reiterating everything the CDC and the World Health Organization have sent out in their informatics, particularly because one of the primary symptoms, the shortness of breath and respiratory distress, you know, just really staying at home, definitely not traveling, which has been an unfortunate message to relay because a lot of these patients do have trips planned with their families and you know, with the limited amount of time, it's hard to tell them to cancel those things. But with their best interests in mind, it really is just complying with all the recommendations as as strictly as possible.

Jeremy Holden: Now you also mentioned at the top that you spend a good amount of time on the clinical research side of things. What can you tell us about the research that you do?

Lauren Tabor Gray: Yes, definitely. So the is is a cornerstone of our program. That was one of the things that was written into the donation that we would facilitate as much research as possible in a disease where the treatment options are, are so limited. So right now I have a multisite ALS Association clinical management grant with Dr. Emily Plowman at the University of Florida. So our grant is investigating the impact of a medication called Nuedexta on bulbar -- so speech and swallowing -- function and physiology. And Nuedexta is a, a medication known to most of the ALS world. It was originally prescribed to treat pseudo bulbar affect because sometimes they have, you know, excessive laughing or crying emotions that are kind of incongruent with how they're really feeling and it's a wonderful medication for that. It treats it very well. But when we initially prescribed it in this particular population, a lot of the patients would come back and anecdotally report that the medication they felt improved their speech or improved their swallowing.

So we wrote a grant to The ALS Association, and we were fortunate enough to get that at the end of 2018 so now we're using objective measures of speech and swallowing to really look at the physiologic impact of the medication to see if it's really seeing the improvements that patients are reporting. And our ALS clinic specifically is also a site for the Healey Platform Trial, which is going to be really exciting and is set to start here pretty quickly. And then we just have a few sponsored studies from companies like Orion and Biohaven that are really popular in our space. So just trying to create some treatment options in a place where we don't have a lot of efficacious things to prescribe or behavioral interventions to implement.

Jeremy Holden: And we can share some information about the Healey Platform trial in the show notes. I know everybody is very excited about getting that off the ground and running. You mentioned swallowing. Are there misconceptions that are common folks need to know about the impact of ALS on the swallowing process?

Lauren Tabor Gray: Yeah, I think from a patient standpoint, the number one thing I get in clinic is the fear that this particular function will change overnight. You know, swallowing is an incredibly complex process. Much like breathing, swallowing requires 26 paired muscles and five cranial nerves. You know, and I always like to say they read these statistics that can be really alarming. Like at some point in the disease process, 85% of the population, the ALS population will develop some impairment in speech and swallowing, which is, you know, a good statistic to know. But really that may mean that you get through three years of the disease and you really don't have these impairments if it started in your arms and legs. So we take it one step at a time because it varies tremendously from patient to patient.

And I just like to provide a lot of education. You know, it might be difficult to chew, it might be difficult to move food around in your mouth or transport it from the front to the back. But you know, there are things that we can do to make sure that you can continue to enjoy the foods that you're eating. And I also like to destigmatize the feeding tube concept. You know, if things get really hard, maybe we take 50% through the feeding tube and 50% by mouth. You know, there are things that we can do to make sure you always have a safety net and that you're still enjoying what you're eating.

Mike Stephenson: Thanks for that insight really into the swallowing process and some of those misconceptions that folks may have and how they're addressed by you and your clinic and through your research. I want to ask you about feeding tubes because that's a topic that many families living with ALS have concerns about and fears about, understandably. And a lot of those living with ALS will eventually have to consider a feeding tube as an option. How do you approach that conversation and the difficulties that come with it in a clinical setting?

Lauren Tabor Gray: So ideally we start seeing patients at the time of diagnosis or maybe a little bit thereafter. So you get to know them really well and you develop relationships with them and it gives you an opportunity to understand how they like to receive information. So some patients like to know everything. They talk about, they inquire about things, they inquire about feeding tubes, about noninvasive volume ventilation or a cough assist. And it's, it's almost an easier way to go about it because everything's just already been discussed by the time it's needed. But then there are patients who really are averse to things like machines and tubes. And in that case I just think it's really important to say ultimately this is 100% your decision. It is just my job to make sure you have all of the accurate information. And that means you know, feeding tubes are placed for a couple of different reasons.

One, the more obvious is of course your swallowing is very impaired and if you continue to have food go down the wrong way or aspiration, then this could lead to a respiratory infection, which is something we really want to avoid. So if we get the feeding tube placed, it can help supplement your oral intake and avoid those negative consequences, which will ultimately cause the disease to hasten. And another not so commonly known reason that feeding tubes get placed as respiratory capacity. So in order to undergo the procedure, you have to have a certain amount of, you know, reserve in your system. You can't be really compromised when it comes to a respiratory standpoint because of the anesthesia and just the recovery in general. So that's something that not a lot of people consider. And I just think it's important to give the information in a very honest and upfront way, include the person and the decision. Don't just say you need to get a feeding tube now. And you know, education along the way, it's just, it's crucial. You know, the weight loss, the decline in the BMI, the perfect storm that kind of evolves throughout the disease with the combination of weight loss and hypermetabolism, you know, it's education is goes so far when considering these things,

Mike Stephenson: I have heard other clinicians echo that, that the education is such a key piece. And the earlier on you can start that education you can at least increase individuals and families levels with comfort around talking about it. And having that information is so important to them because it's the not knowing that causes a lot of anxiety. So the sooner you can get that in front of them, the easier it'll be to have those conversations at least.

Lauren Tabor Gray: Definitely.

Jeremy Holden: And with that in mind, you mentioned some of the weight maintenance, BMI, hypermetabolism issues. Talk about that a little bit and the importance of trying to maintain proper nutrition while living with ALS.

Lauren Tabor Gray: Yes, and this is something that myself and our dietician and I think that kind of dynamic, the SLP and the dietician across all multidisciplinary clinics work very closely to try to prevent this at all costs, particularly in patients who are thin to begin with. You know, so much of ALS management is managing the symptoms and we don't have a lot to offer when it comes to treatment options. But one thing that we do know about the disease is that rapid weight loss or a rapid decline in BMI is associated with progression of the disease. So that's a powerful piece of knowledge considering that Riluzole is currently the best medication that we have and it improves survival by 89 days. You know, it's something that we can really hang onto when we can have a treatment effect through nutrition alone. So weight loss is a very slippery slope.

Lauren Tabor Gray: We do our best to prophylactically educate and you know, explain exactly what's going on in the body. Your appetite may be impacted, which is a contributor to weight loss, but just underlying in the disease, a lot of patients present with hypermetabolism so they have a higher resting metabolic rate. They're going to need more calories to maintain their weight and nutrition than you or I would need. And you combine that with someone who is having difficulty swallowing or is anxious or stressed out about the disease in general and don't want to eat. And that just is a, it creates the perfect storm. And Emily Plowman wrote a great article about this for patients and back in like 2014 around the ice bucket challenge that really nicely kind of laid this all out. But we always try to keep in mind, you know that education early on in the disease is going to be the best method to getting everyone on the same page.

Mike Stephenson: Related to nutrition and weight maintenance. I want to ask you about meal time. I've spoken to some individuals living with ALS that have relayed how losing some of the meal time traditions were particularly tough for them. Maybe it's because they aren't eating in the same way that they once were or because their communication has been impacted by their disease progression, but they not being able to sit with their family or friends and have a meal in the same way they once did is understandably tough. What advice, if any, do you have for folks in that spot about trying to maintain those traditions?

Lauren Tabor Gray: Yeah, I mean this is really a devastating aspect of the disease. You have your patients come in and you know some people, some people eat to survive, they are indifferent about food, but then you have your patients who come in and they tell you like, I live to eat. Like I love, I love everything about it. I love the social aspect. I love sitting around the table communicating and when you have a disease that robs you of those two things from a quality of life standpoint, I mean it's just, it's really detrimental. So I always keep that in mind as a clinician. You know, if if we do an instrumental swallowing evaluation and they're dysphagic to the point where some things are unsafe, it's a little inefficient. I'm willing to sacrifice a little bit of safety and efficiency from a swallowing standpoint if it means that I can preserve their quality of life to a certain extent.

Lauren Tabor Gray: So sometimes you just lay all the information to the patient out on the table and say, but these are the five things that we can do. The five strategies that you can use to make it a little bit safer. And you know, in order to preserve the quality of life that you do have, because you've identified this as something that's really important to you, we're just going to have to sacrifice a little bit of whatever it is, safety or efficiency or it's going to take you longer. Or you might have to supplement with peg tube feedings, but ultimately the goal is whatever the patient wants.

Jeremy Holden: Thank you so much Lauren Tabor Gray. It was really great to talk to you and get some perspective on both what's happening on the clinical side during the pandemic and how your uh, and your colleagues are adjusting to this scenario and also some more information on nutrition and swallowing and how to cope with some of those related losses for someone living with ALS. It's valuable insight. Thank you for your time today.

Lauren Tabor Gray: Thanks for having me.

Jeremy Holden: Thank you again to Lauren Tabor Gray at the Phil Smith Neuroscience Institute for that illuminating conversation, again, recorded on March 24th and as we've mentioned in recent weeks, we have a great slate of stories lined up to tell you, but in these times with a developing story around the COVID-19 pandemic, we are going to be committed first and foremost to bringing you the latest information on that important story.

Mike Stephenson: That's right. Much more to come, but that is all that we have for you on this episode of Connecting ALS. Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts or AT connectingals.org and you can find us on social, on Facebook and Twitter as well. This episode was produced by Garrett Tiedemann of the Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota Chapter of The ALS Association. Thank you all for listening and we'll connect with you again soon.

#ALS Association #endals #telehealth #clinical research #clinical trials #clinical care #covidー19 #covid19 #florida

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crpgaddictreposts · 6 years

Text

Plot Continuity Across Sequels (ft. Crusaders of the Dark Savant)

Crusaders of the Dark Savant is the first game for which this import process has implications beyond character attributes and equipment.

If a developer allows meaningful choices in the game, how does he reflect the consequences of those choices in sequels? This question grows more and more pertinent as the years pass, and meaningful choices become a greater expectation among RPG players. Indeed, it is common on today's blogs and discussion forums for players to insist that meaningful choices--affecting the direction of the plot and the ending of the game--are an essential part of a role-playing game. Such a claim ignores most of the history of RPGs, in which the only choice most players had was whether to attack with a sword or an axe, but I'm willing to allow that true role-playing choices might become an essential characteristic of a twenty-first century RPG.

The issue becomes pertinent for essentially the first time in Crusaders of the Dark Savant (1992), a sequel to a game in which the player's choices could produce one of three different endings. This isn't quite the first time this happened, but previous "alternate endings" were either just creative deaths (i.e., ways of not winning the game), such as the "bad" endings of Dungeon Master (1987), Ultima V (1988), Pool of Radiance (1988), or The Magic Candle (1989), or alternate paths that funneled to the same basic ending, as in the Quest for Glory series (1988-1992), Dragon Wars (1989), Sword of Aragon (1989), or Disciples of Steel (1991). Prior to Wizardry VI: Bane of the Cosmic Forge (1990), the only game I can think of that offered true alternate ways of winning the game was the roguelike Omega (1988), and it didn't have a sequel. Slightly earlier, however, Phantasie II (1986) and III (1987) chanced some introductory dialogue depending on whether the party was created or imported, reflecting the player's choice to have finished the previous games at all.

Phantasie III his Filmon say that Nikademus would "never suspect you" if you're a new party. If you're imported, he tells you that he chose you because you'd already defeated his minions before.

I haven't played a lot of games post-1992, but my read is that alternate endings aren't necessarily common even through the modern era. The Elder Scrolls games, excepting Daggerfall, basically just have one. The Infinity Engine games may have offered a lot of roleplaying in between the beginnings and ends, but they all ended basically the same. There are some notable exceptions--Fallout New Vegas, Fallout 4, the Mass Effect series, and the Dragon Age series all come to mind--but I'd be surprised if more than half of modern RPGs, no matter how many branches they offer along the way, end in more than once place.

On the other hand, even games that don't offer multiple endings tend, these days, to include significant player-influenced changes in the world state between the beginning and the end. The main quest of Skyrim might end in the same place for everyone, but along the way either the Empire or the Stormcloaks won the war, the Dark Brotherhood is either destroyed or has just assassinated the Emperor, the Thieves' Guild either revived or hiding in some sewers, the world either plunged into eternal night or not. These are not factors that will be possible to ignore in any sequel just because every player "defeated Alduin."

So now that The Elder Scrolls VI is at least partly announced, what is Bethesda going to do? Based on previous games, there are several options:

1. Adopt one set of possibilities as canon. This option renders many players' choices meaningless, but it's easiest on the developers. It also tends to fit with what most players did by default anyway. So although you can end Baldur's Gate with any of about 20 NPCs in your party, the developers figure at least 50% of us are going to have played with Imoen, Minsc, Jaheira, Khalid, and Dynaheir, and Baldur's Gate II begins accordingly. In a less-obvious use of this option, most sequels assume that the players finished all the side quests and expansions in the course of winning the previous game, and thus have no problem introducing NPCs, enemies, and objects that some players may never have encountered (e.g., the player of Ultima VII Part Two starts with the Black Sword even if he never played the Forge of Virtue expansion to the first part). The developers basically have to choose this option if they want to include the game as part of a larger universe along with films and books.

A line in Skyrim assumes the player finished the Shivering Isles expansion.

2. Set the sequel so far away in time and space that it doesn't matter. Based on player choices, the world state at the end of Oblivion might look quite different from one Hero of Kvatch to the next, but 200 years later, during the events of Skyrim, no one cares who was head of the Fighter's Guild in a different province at the end of the Third Era. Similarly, Fallout IV makes no references to the choices made by the protagonist of Fallout: New Vegas because there's no communication between Nevada and Massachusetts, and both places have their own problems.

3. Account for all the possibilities. This one is pretty rare, and insane when it happens, but it's featured quite notably in Oblivion and Skyrim to explain the events in Daggerfall. Depending on player choices in that game--the only Elder Scrolls game so far to offer multiple endings--the giant golem Numidium is activated in support of one faction (or not) and political boundaries are reconfigured to the favor of one or more factions. To deal with all possibilities, future games feature a book called The Warp in the West that basically says at the end of Daggerfall, time "broke," Numidium was seen at multiple places, all possibilities occurred, and a trio of gods had to intervene to untangle the mess, resulting in a stable political state among four new kingdoms.

In a less dramatic option, games after Morrowind don't take a stand on whether the Nerevarine killed the gods of the Tribunal. They're gone, sure, but maybe they disappeared on their own.

(As an aside, one of the things I love about the Elder Scrolls lore is how many distant past events can be interpreted as if they were the results of multiple player choices retconned into the same kind of a "warp" that the developers used to explain the end of Daggerfall. Take, for example, the many conflicting characterizations of Tiber Septim. Who was he originally? Where was he from? Was he the noble hero who united an empire or the lecherous villain who seduced Barenziah and then forced her to abort their love child? Did he become a god? What about the events at Red Mountain? Did Vivec kill Nerevar? What happened to the dwarves? The implication is that major characters of Tamriel's past, like Tiber Septim and Vivec, were player characters whose stories could have gone multiple ways. Their games just haven't been developed.)

4. Dynamically adapt the plot and world state of the sequel to reflect the player's choices. This is the rarest and most admirable option, and I can't think of any series that does it better than Dragon Age. The games certainly have their flaws, but attention to player choice isn't one of them. Inquisition is particularly well done. Choices both major and minor in the two previous games determined everything from the leaders of nations to the specific NPCs the player encounters, and where. (If you didn't play the previous games, you just got defaults.) The effects on the world state, the available NPCs in the game, and the direction of the plot are significant enough that players who made different choices in Origins and Dragon Age II face very different games when they get to Inquisition. (I should also note that this dedication to adapting the world state extends to the minor expansions as well as the major titles; both Awakening and Witch Hunt for Origins start very differently depending on choices made during the main campaign.) I understand that the Mass Effect series offers the same attention to this kind of detail.

The "Dragon Age Keep" web site lets you set the world state from the first two games, greatly enhancing continuity as you begin Dragon Age: Inquisition.

While I characterize Option 4 as the most "admirable," it's also somewhat understandable when developers don't take it. It greatly expands the amount of content that they have to create, much of which will never be seen by most players. It's probably unsustainable across more than three games; certainly, it's hard to imagine Bioware accounting for all choices in Inquisition plus the two previous games if they make a fourth one. On the other hand, it's horribly disappointing for the player to start a sequel and find that his choices in the previous game are ignored. Some games adopt a compromise between Option 1 and Option 4, using player choices in previous games to tweak a few variables (which might affect dialogue options) but otherwise offer the same gameplay experience. I seem to remember Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II going this route, changing a few scenes based on the result of some (clumsy) dialogue options at the beginning, but otherwise making some assumptions about how the first game progressed.

It's easy to think of Option 4 as the most advanced option, and thus the one we expect to see later in the development of RPGs. In fact, if it was going to be commonplace, its best chance was in the 1990s, just as meaningful choices became more common, but before reacting to those choices meant significant chances to graphics and voiced dialogue. A developer can afford to be generous with simple text adaptations.

And thus we begin Crusaders of the Dark Savant with three separate sets of opening scenes, each with different text, but sharing many of the same graphics.

All opening narratives show this scene, but they all use different text depending on whom the party is with.

If the party ended Bane of the Cosmic Forge having rejected the queen, overseeing the suicide of the vampire king, and heading off into space with a friendly dragon named Bela, they soon find that Bela has made friends (over the radio) with the Umpani, a race of intelligent pachyderms. He relates the story of Guardia and the Astral Dominae and warns the party of the other factions seeking to possess it, including the Dark Savant and his T'Rang allies. They arrive at Guardia at the same time as the Dark Savant. Bela drops the party off in the forest to start looking for the Astral Dominae while he himself chases after the Dark Savant to find out what he's up to.

Bela talks about his new friends.

If the party ended Bane by trying to take the Cosmic Forge only to be intercepted by the android Aletheides, Savant begins by having Aletheides explain that he's been sent to retrieve the pen by the Lords of the Cosmic Circle. He relates the threat to the universe now that Guardia has been discovered, and he enlists the party to accompany him so they can find the Astral Dominae before the Dark Savant. Since he has to return to the Lords with the Forge, he drops off the party in the woods on Guardia and then takes off.

Aletheides lays out his plan.

If the party ended Forge by killing everyone and boarding Bela's ship on their own, they're soon swallowed up by the Dark Savant's frigate. The Savant clearly states his intention to challenge the Lords of the Cosmic Circle and "end their stranglehold on the Destiny of the Stars." He demands that the party assist in his search for the Astral Dominae and has them fly to Guardia on a T'Rang ship, where again they land in the woods to begin their adventure.

The Dark Savant offers no chance to object.

Finally, if the player didn't complete Bane at all--or didn't play it--the game assumes that they're treasure-seekers who found the Cosmic Forge in a temple on a random world. Just as in the second option, Aletheides reaches them just before they take the pen and enlists them in his mission. As with everyone else, the party begins in the woods.

Although all parties start in a forest, they're different forests, on different maps, and thus begin the game with quite different experiences. And because my understanding is that Savant is quite nonlinear, they probably continue with different experiences as well. What I don't yet know is whether choices made in Bane affect anything in Savant other than the backstory and starting location. Do the various factions begin predisposed to like or dislike you? Does Bela show up again if you didn't kill him? Those types of adaptations would be admirable, but perhaps a little too much to expect this early in the era.

I was able to download other players' saved games to experience the different beginnings above, but in 1992, I would have been out of luck. Knowing that there were different beginnings to Savant would have made me eager to re-play Bane, independently of what I thought of its replayability as a stand-alone game, the same way that Inquisition has made me want to replay the previous games in the Dragon Age series. Thus, we see that good attention to continuity can increase the replayability of not only the current game but previous ones in the series.

Continuity of character is, of course, a separate consideration from continuity of plot. It is also far more common. We saw it as early as 1979, with the ability to move the same character among multiple Dunjonquest modules, and most classic game series--Wizardry, Ultima, Phantasie, The Bard's Tale, the Gold Box games--have allowed you to continue the same character or party across at least one sequel. There was even a period in the mid-1980s when you could move the same characters between franchises. As a kid, this was far more important to me than it is now. Today, I find that such games either reduce imported characters to the point that they're hardly better than new characters or they're so overpowered that they ruin the game. A few franchises--the Gold Box and Baldur's Gate come to mind--have done a good job achieving balance, but on the whole I like that the modern inclination is to retain the universe but start each game with a new hero.

In that spirit, for my "real" Savant party, I'll be starting over from scratch with a new set of characters, partly because I enjoy the early levels the most, and partly because the game assumed I did that anyway (I must have screwed up something with my saved game in Bane). We'll pick up with the adventures of the new party in New City after a detour to investigate the German Die Dunkle Dimension.

In the meantime, which continuity options do you prefer? What games best exemplify them? What other methods have you seen for reflecting player choices across the game's universe?

source http://crpgaddict.blogspot.com/2018/08/plot-continuity-across-sequels-ft.html

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