#but also like idk it just was weird and even if they didnt intend to comment to come across like that

[arionawrites]

how tf did me facetiming someone i matched with on tinder turn into them giving me unsolicited advice about giving people your full attention after i already let them know that i recently got diagnosed as adhd and it’s hard for me to focus on just one thing/person and then them telling me that “based on my behavior” they think i’m autistic like ?? didn’t ask, we literally started messaging each other like a day ago, even if i am autistic (which wouldn’t be a bad thing if i am) when has it ever been socially acceptable to tell someone you JUST MET that you think they’ve got some kind of mental disorder/illness/disability/etc.

my friends have mentioned that i might be autistic and that’s fine bc i’ve spent a lot of time with them and they actually know me and i take their perspective of me very seriously because they’re the people who see me 100% unfiltered and have known me whenever i’ve been completely unmedicated. i trust their word.

this person from tinder, however, i have sent like maybe 20-30 messages to where we talked about nanowrimo and i was like omg it’d be so cool to meet someone who also writes, whether it’s as friends or as more, i would love that—only for our facetime call to be less than 20 minutes long and for them to try and diagnose me as autistic just because i, after ALREADY TELLING THEM that i have adhd and after them asking about meds and me telling them that i haven’t taken my adhd meds today because i didn’t have work and also i’ve taken multiple naps today which has made my head even more foggy and made it even harder than usual to focus, found it difficult to focus.

like. i wasn’t unresponsive. i wasn’t ignoring them. i was listening and i was responding, i just also was looking between my phone and my laptop screen.

which okay i understand that maybe i’m just frustrated because of the “based on your behavior” comment because an 18 minute facetime call does not give someone enough interaction time to try and fucking diagnose me as anything, and maybe this is more of a we just didn’t vibe and that’s fine, i don’t think they’re like a bad person or anything and if nothing else i’m glad the mismatched vibes were felt before deciding to meet up or anything, but also.

eighteen minutes. literally eighteen minutes and they fucking “based on your behavior i think you’re autistic” and “here’s some advice, when meeting new people you should give them your full attention”

FUCK that.

[fatickono]

me when i try and ignore a hyperfixation i’ve had for 2.5 years … and it doesnt work!!!!! who could’ve expected that ………….

[yourcomputerr]

jeepers this game is so overwhelming (i want to do everything it has to offer at once)

[meiwritesyan]

- 001:: yandere idol -

ʚ ♡ ɞ summary: you absolutely loves the well-known idol that everyone usually talks about, including you. guess what? he obsessed over likes you too!

ʚ ⚠︎ ɞ warnings: yandere,obsessive behaviors,stalking behaviors, lowercase intended! do tell me if there is missing any other things that i should mention in warnings! i do not condone the action of yanderes irl!!

ʚïɞ pairing[s]: romantic yandere male idol x gn reader pt 2

ʚ ✉ ɞ wc: 0.2k

ʚ ˙ᵕ˙ ɞ request: ✗

ʚ ✦ ɞ intro | byf | masterlist

ʚ ☁︎ ɞ mei's note: this is sucks :( but i hope you like it! the flirt a bit weird to me idk likes n reblogs are very much appreciated!

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who met you on one of his meet and greet. you are just so cute!

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who actually suspicious of you when you gave him a small kitten plushie, he suspect you to put a camera or voice recorder to stalk his life secretly. surprisingly,when he check the plushie,theres no camera,or even voice recorder! now,he feel bad for destroying the handmade plushie you just made for him. he tries to fix it,but he just made it worst, damn it! it didnt even have the look of cute kitten anymore!

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who start to trust you since the plushie incident. he is eager if theres any other event in your country,he really wants to meet you again!

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who will learn your native language and will try to talk with your native language,trying to impress you(if your native language not the same as him)

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who have ppl to stalk look over you,since his career + schedule wont let him see your adorable face everyday

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who also gives you little gifts such as candy or chocolate bar secretly into your hands when you ask him to sign an autograph at his album etc

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who winks at you when he sees you at one of his concert. your flustered face are so cute! if not for his career,he would explode by your cuteness right away! but of course,he needs to be professional

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who will sends at your address a vip ticket,when he finally knew abt your address

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who will wear a cute onesie of your fav animal at one of his live!

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ yan idol who will flirts only with you. you are so cute when you are blushing!

ʚ ♥︎ ɞ "hi cutie [nickname] ~! where should i sign my autograph? on our marriage certificate it is?"

@meiwritesyan all right reserved. do not copy,repost or claiming my work as your own!

[nekropsii]

what do you see in equius ?? genuine question i don't mean to sound rude but to me she's just really offputting. she gives me such creep vibes that i can't seem to get over and every time i read a page with her it just gets worse..... like when i first read nep & eq's chats i was sitting there wondering if this was outright abuse or at least bullying of some kind??? it felt like it idk.......

but honestly i do wanna see an equius liker's opinion on him because i can't understand it like at all and i'm probably just missing something that all the equius likers saw and i didnt LMAO

Well, considering I’m an Alpha Trolls Enthusiast and have been for, like, a decade, as well as having Horror as a Special Interest since age… What, 3? I’d say I personally have a pretty strong stomach for Weird and Offputting in fiction, lol. Stronger than most. Equius isn’t a very palatable character at all, I’ll be the first to admit that - a lot of the characters I enjoy the most in Homestuck aren’t very palatable… But I find ‘em real interesting, personally. The fact that they aren’t palatable adds to the intrigue for me, and poor execution tends to be a total weakness of mine. Again, Alpha Trolls Enthusiast for a decade straight.

I have a post here that talks a bit about my reading of Equius, I’d recommend giving it a read. I see Eridan and Equius as being very similar characters - not necessarily due to their shared hemoloyalty, but because they’re both teens falling down online pipelines. They’re very prevalent Kinds Of Guy that no one wants to talk about.

But people talk about Eridan plenty even to this day - he was even a fandom favorite for a while, being the fandom’s first Prettyboy Sad Gay Anime Prince long before Dirk… So he doesn’t reel in as much interest for me as the chronically overlooked Equius.

If there’s anything to know about me, it’s that I love a good underdog.

Equius-Likers, from my experience, are very aware of his issues. It’s part of the draw. Enjoyment of him tends to be an analytical fixation. I haven’t met a single Equius-Liker that hasn’t had some very complex thoughts on him. They’re just kinda quiet about it. Fitting.

Unfortunately, I’m Aranea But Real, so. No quietness here.

Your response to Equius is valid. It’s also intended, I feel. To specifically address the bits about concerns of his relationship with Nepeta not being healthy… I mean, it’s not abusive, but it’s definitely more complicated than fan art would lead you to believe, as always. “Complicated” is to be expected from a Moirallegiance - remember what they exist for?

Nepeta is very much so in control of the things going on, and their relationship is pretty equal, all things considered, so I wouldn’t be worrying too much about that. She very distinctly does not lack agency here - Nepeta is the one who has a leash on Equius, not the other way around. Equius is mean, because that’s the way she is to… Everyone, more or less, but she’s not of any danger to Nepeta. They have a fine Moirallegiance. 1,000% more functional than whatever the fuck Karkat and Gamzee had going on.

Anyway. I think Equius is neat, and has both missed and oft overlooked potential. One of the very few characters I’d be 100% down to have seen more content of in the comic.

Once again, check out this post. I still think it’s decent. Maybe you will, too.

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

Official Miu Iruma Post

[contains debate about the 4th case & trial of v3, post-game irouma, a dating show au with saiouma & kiiruma, talk about her abandonment issues, parental HCs and toxic yuri, just the normal way conversations in the Pit go, I simply cut out some of the screaming, distractions and put displaced replies closer to what they're replying to]

Hina: Kokichi’s Chapter 4 plan right It’s to do two things: Save him from Miu Make himself the villain Right Cause if that’s the plan WHY PUSH MIUS BODY OFF THE ROOF Clown: That was gontas idea!! Hina: No I’m blaming Kokichi for this fuck you Ves: i think he actually meant to kill everyone but that's an unpopular opinion sndhsgfgfh Hina: THEN HE SHOULDVE LET MIU KILL HIM IM SORRY MIU HAD THE BEST MURDER PLOT IN V3 AND SHE DIDNT EVEN GET TO USE IT BECAUSE KOKICHIS A FUCKING MINDREADER Apollo: LIKE HOW DID HE KNOW? WHAT. SHE WAS ACTING WEIRD SO HE CHECKED THE COMPUTER CODE? [yes. I assumed that this was just. canon] Sini: HE COULDN’T LET MIU KILL HIM Ves: NO?????????? THAT WOULD BE FUCKIGN STUPID???????????????????? Hina: No but if his plan was to kill everyone, Miu probably could’ve gotten everyone killed Ves: "i COULD convince the strong one and the detective to help me and carefully manipulate the trial til the end, but why don't i just throw it all to the wind instead-" miu was VERY OBVIOUSLY gonna kill someone dude Clown: MIUS SO BAD AT HIDING HER INTENTIONS BUT ITS OKAY I LOVE HER

Hina: Okay no I’ll give him that But Kokichi makes a lot of assumptions Like the “He’d be frozen in a touch” thing That’s a big assumption to make Ves: NO IT IS NOT THAT IS JUST ASSUMING MIU ISN'T COMICALLY STUPID IF SHE DIDN'T THINK OF THAT SHE WOULDN'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED A GENIUS if miu has control over the virtual world, then of course she'd add some way to stop him from resisting. that's an educated guess Clown: He didn't think he was going to be frozen but I think he assumes Miu was smart enough to make a fail safe!! She needed to do something to make him killable. I don't think he knew what it was but he knew she did something! Especially since she's openly telling everyone that she took away all dangerous objects and diminished their strength?? What are you scheming queen?? Apollo: I get he's smart but can he even read code because I doubt it was just written 'freezes when Miu touches' [with what monokubs pulled up for them. it was kind of written like that] Hina: No code is usually written very fucking simple Me: It wasn't an assumption? He knew. Because he looked into what she was doing.

Apollo: I still think he should have just 'decided to piss her off' and not show up to the meeting on the rooftop. Either that or he acts real sus so someone follows him up and sees her about to murder him Clown: I think he did act kinda suspicious! Like actively making a show of needing someone to watch him or clearly getting pulled off to the side so Miu could talk to him. Chee: He was being more sus than usual and that made V3 think “someone needs to watch him” Idk why they sent Gonta over when its Kokichi actually Clown: I like to think he gave her a chance to back out. If Miu had seen him act this way and still proceed with her plan. Well that that was that. Again. Probably not what they were intending BUT LET ME BELIEVE THEY WERE FRIENDS AT ONE POINT SOBS Chee: DUDE NO I ALSO LOVE THINKING THEYRE FRIENDS THEY FUCKING WORKED TOGETHER FOR FUCKS SAKE Tehyre friends to me fuck whatever canon goes against that!! Ves: she picks him because he's one of the only people who would conceivably go to a secluded place with her and that Hurts me Me: With his views on killers he most likely thought that Miu will go for a kill no matter what and will do something else if she's not forcefully stopped. Plus, he was pissed off first, she betrayed him and he was especially cruel when talking about her after that, some elements of the plan were going out of the way to say "fuck you" to Miu (and using that to draw more suspicion to himself, but that was not necessary to do that), I think he wanted Gonta to be the winner, as somebody who stayed on his team, making it his victory, but then Gonta wasn't following the plan, meaning that he must have betrayed him too, and then Kokichi lost it

Sini: OOOOH! You mean the interpretation of him killing everyone… Let’s be real, if that’s the case, then yeah, he was dumb. Cause even with what Ves said, HE STILL FUCKED UP! FUCK REVERSE PSYCHOLOG! WHY TF WOULD YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH SM YOU DUMB BITCH!? YOU’RE GIVING OUT MORE EVIDENCE He was so dumb for it, idc. Bro, stfu….Saying Gonta is the culprit!? WHY!?!? SHUT UUUPPPP I get the logic but fuck man! It’s so risky and stupid! Why would you do that!? Ves: OH I DON'T THINK THAT WAS PART OF THE ORIGINAL PLAN CAN YOU IMAGINE LMAO that's BEYOND "risky and stupid" sini did you think i thought this the whole time HE'S BETRAYING GONTA AT THAT POINT I- Chee: YEAH I THINK THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN Me: It definitely wasn't part of the original plan, that was the moment he snapped Sini: Oh. I knew that too but I forgot how you interpreted it. But he does similar shit even in the beginning of the trial. I just….I think it’s dumb. This is part of why I don’t think he planned to kill everyone Oh yeah, I know that. I just wasn’t sure what they meant, there are many ways you can interpret this theory. But yeah, I agree that he thought there would be no reasoning with her and she would kill him regardless. While he could’ve let Miu kill him, keeping Miu alive is good in case the plan were to ever fail. Her plan was really good, even Shuichi noted that without finding out about the secret of the virtual world that they would’ve been fucked. She could’ve very well won had he just let her kill him, but still, it’s better he have control over the situation than potentially die for no reason while the game continues. I get that. But like….What did Gonta do to not follow with the plan? From what I remember, by the time Kokichi outed Gonta….He didn’t do anything?? No one suspected him until he brought it up. Gonta became suspect because of him. Why would he do that? Are you saying he got so pissed that Gonta was good at not being sus that he changed his mind? Cause I honestly find that ridiculous. It is literally essential that Gonta not be suspicious so that they win…. Was it a method to make Gonta not suspicious by making him suspicious? But again, why? No one was ever suspecting him and he should know that most of everyone would never suspect him as the culprit at that point because it’s Gonta. Yes, they’ve suspected Gonta plenty times before and you could say they only reacted that way cause Kokichi was the one saying it, but…I feel at that point everyone grew closer to Gonta and would have that genuine bias. Kokichi outing Gonta just led to him spewing more evidence that got them fucked even before he snapped at him. He was basically giving hints since the beginning of the trial. I always read it like he was doing what he usually did until Shuichi and the others pissed him off. Then Gonta pissed him off by denying everything and everyone believing him despite the evidence. Ves: it's not that gonta didn't follow the plan, it's that he followed it too well. you have to remember that kokichi had no way of knowing about the cord mixup; from his perspective, gonta was just lying his ass off. and he was lying so well kokichi wouldn't've been able to tell if he hadn't seen him kill her. even in an interpretation where he planned to betray gonta from the beginning, i think that would've freaked him the hell out

Sini: But he wasn’t really lying before…. He wasn’t doing anything. He was barely present in the trial until that point. Ig that’s a form of lying, maybe Kokichi expected him to be all nervous and shit?? But….Is that good enough reason to out him and abandon your plan??? I see some people say how he could’ve suspected Gonta as the mastermind, but I can only see him suspecting that after he outed him. And even then…If he was the mastermind…Why would he follow his plan in the virtual world in the first place? Surely Kokichi must’ve thought of that. To think he’s the mastermind based off of good lying alone, while understandable, is also a bit of a stretch. Kokichi knows there is more to Gonta than what people see, he’s seen him lie before. It’s just at that moment where it’s taken to a whole other level that even rivals his own (at least that’s what he thinks). But still…I just….He said that unprompted and I can’t think of a good reason as to why he’d do that after planning all this out There is Gonta debating Shuichi before I think but that’s still not enough to do something like call him the culprit I feel…. I just don’t understand it. Maybe I’m giving Kokichi too much credit, but it’s weird. Ves: gonta has repeated that he doesn't understand over and over in a very convincing (because it's true) way by that point tho idk ch4 doesn't make a lot of sense to me without the idea that kokichi was originally planning to follow through TBF though it's the clearest example of kokichi being a microcosm of v3; it's meant to be up to the player to decide what they believe, and that means there's evidence both ways. it's definitely a weird way to write a character Sini: But again, Kokichi knows he isn’t stupid. He must know he can probably pull off just saying “I don’t understand”. Not to mention, I don’t think he’d do something like this at all. Chapter 1 he acknowledges how if they die, they can just bring in new people and the games will continue. While everyone dying is a unsatisfying ending, it’s not enough to end the game. It has enough entertainment value and not enough scandal where it could do that much damage. Kokichi must still think this is all a show even if at that moment where he believed what he saw in the vault was real. Is it really winning the game and bringing justice to those who died if he follows the rules practically to a T and kills everyone? It’s not that much of a satisfying ending for him either. Ig he could’ve not known what else to do and was overwhelmed with despair, but I personally don’t think he’d want things to go that way. But that’s just me. I agree that it’s written in a way where you don’t really know what’s the truth. I understand the theory and I think the idea is cool, with enough evidence to support it. To me though, it just doesn’t jive

[I just got hit in the face with a crack theory: What if he made it so it looks like he gave in to the motive and wants to kill everyone so the mastermind doesn't intervene before he gets to flip the switch on them?] Ves: that's a totally fair interpretation!! i haven't asked - do you think he believed what he saw at the end of the tunnel :o? oh and also. i think believing what he saw would undo his ch1 belief about them just bringing more people in..? where would they get them from Clown: I guess that's assuming he'd believe the world really did end. But thats vauge too, how much did he believe it? How long? Did he even believe it in the first place? WHO KNOWS Ves: i think he did believe it. i mean, he was THERE. he saw the broken world stretch out to the horizon, he felt the air leave his lungs that's very different than a flashback light Sini: Well, that’s the thing. I feel like he believed what he saw but soon afterward started to doubt it given everything else he witnessed. Why things are the way they are…It only makes sense if it’s a show. Kokichi himself acknowledges that in Chapter 5. The flashback lights….There’s so many things to not be trusted here. If they can pull off crazy rooms, executions, and robots, could they fabricate what he saw and experienced? Maybe it is real but there are survivors out there. I think Kokichi was in constant conflict about it Ves: it could be a show for just one person. i think that'd haunt him and yeah i agree about him being in constant conflict Clown: I do think he believed it for a good while!! It's hard not to. It probably effected him more than he realized. But at the same time the world around his is changing in completely unnatural ways, he acknowledges that it feels as though they're following a script sometimes. So that gave him room for doubts. But he couldn't really be sure Kodaka was a coward for not giving us a bonus unlockable scene where ouma sees the world end, BY HIMSELF, ALL ALONE, and just implodes in on himself for a little while I wanna see how he reacted!!! I wanna see why he even managed to get up again!! Ves: MAYBE I'M ALSO A COWARD JESUS Sini: I’m fine with not getting anything. The whole point is that he’s a mysterious character. The way we see him is supposed to be somewhat similar to how Shuichi sees him, constantly questioning wtf he is up to and how he feels But that would be cool tho Clown: I can agree with that! I do love that there's so much room to theorize about him This is entirely self indulgent askshjdh WHERES THE POV SWITCH KODAKA?? WHERE?? Sini:Yeah, same. I indulgently want a Kokichi Ouma novel but writing wise that’s a shitty idea Clown: Yeahhh, unless their willing to break away from the embodiment of a lie thing, at least a little, than i wouldn't have high hopes Or they could evilify him more thats also something that could happen

Hina: Me writing a whole Kokichi Miu fight scene be like Chee: no dude I actually enjoy that BC THERES NO WAY AFTER ALL THAT HAPPENED IN GAME THEY WOULDNT FIGHT Im just still praying theyll be friends after the fighting or something [sob emoji]

[conversation went into detail about how fucked up Kokichi novel could turn out to be if we got it (and so it's best it doesn't happen)] Clown: Miu and kokichi get an explosive divorce Ves: okay no i want this actually that sounds HILARIOUS Sini: That already happened in V3 tho Me: they are SO divorcecore <3 /pos Ves: they are the OPPOSITE of the "i don't argue with beautiful women, my wife hits me with a hammer and i walk it off" tweet Me: and I love that for them! frenemies irouma is nice, but they could take that to a higher level Ves: IT IS romantic iruma is just so inherently hilarious that "higher level" is divorce court Sini: “My wife tried to hit me with a hammer, that bitch got strangled” Clown: It's like the ending of one of those shows where they try and pair everyone off into couples but they explode as a result Maybe literally Miu puts a bomb in oumas cereal Sini: It’s their love language, dw Clown: They only got married because the people of their affections also got hit with the straight people ray and they're mourning together/hj Shuichi should marry maki to make it worse Ves: they're all cheating on each other Worst Suburb Of All Time Me: this gave me a VIOLENT flashback to that one hamilton songfic (Say No To This? I think) where Miu wrote Saihara a threathening letter bc Ouma was her husband and saiou was having an affair

Sini: Salmon Mode: Love is Blind edition Ves: hold on i've got a better one the ultimatum …actually hold on maybe i'm NOT joking an ultimatum au would kinda slap… are saiou in preexisting relationships or did they come together shuuichi issuing the ultimatum to kokichi would be TASTY but so would them falling in love and leaving their unhappy relationships for each other,,,, one person in a couple wants to get married, the other isn't so sure. they go on the show where they pick another person to be in a 'trial marriage' for a couple weeks, then go back to their original partners, then decide 'the ultimatum' is 'marry or our relationship is over' Clown: Oohh man I dunno. Them as a preexisting couple is ANGST AND PAIN and ✨️ drama ✨️ But them coming together is [teary eyed cat emoji] Hina: Okay but that's so good if they're preexisting in a relationship Me: the "getting back together" energy (despite there being no break-up and only a threat of it) is definitely up your alley and it could be neat, but them getting paired up for a few weeks fake relationship that's not intended to last should be injected in my bloodstream immediately or I'll die Ves: they're meant not to last, to be a test before they go back to their Real partners, but they find themselves happier than they ever were AUUUUUGH Hina: If we're being realistic though wouldn't Kokichi bail the moment Shuichi offers an ultimatum like that? Ves: IF WE'RE BEING REALISTIC NEITHER OF THEM WOULD GO ON REALITY TV IN THE FIRST PLACE THIS EXISTS SO I CAN HAVE FUNNY SAIOUMA COUCH ASIDES AND ENDGAME SMOOCHES Clown: Can't remove brain from shuichi giving the ultimatum because ouma is a flighty nerd- NEED THERE TO BE A SWEET SCENE WHERE GONTA AND KOKICHI BOND BECAUSE OF THEIR SIMILAR CIRCUMSTANCES BUT ON OPPOSITE ENDS. Gontas straightforward point of view seems illogical, it doesnt even take into account how much could go wrong, but its suprisingly comforting. Maybe ouma shouldn't focus on the fail safes… AND HE GAINS PLUS 1 BUDDY OLE PAL [I skipped a big part of the conversation suggesting other couples, but one of them was Gonta and Kirumi] Ves: gonta and kokichi come out Best Friends he's the best man at the saiou wedding unsure if kokichi gets this privilege also because. kirumi. but STILL Clown: She doesn't want his greasy face in the wedding party thats understandable If you wanna add some ✨️ drama ✨️ maybe shuichi is just a tad jealous over seeing ouma so genuinely connect with someone. After such a short time too?? Shuichi goes "this is fine" as if he isn't iron gripping the table Ves: he thinks kokichi's left him for bigger tits greener pastures meanwhile gonta is patting his back while he wails drunkenly about shuuichi inevitably leaving him he's NOT jealous he is a responsible partner he does not feel Bad Emotions he does NOT- he's not coping and seething that gonta is better at protecting kokichi from spiders

Ves: who is shuuichi's partner. rantarou is Not Allowed it hurts my brain Hina: Wow smh Miu/j Ves: he'd never pick her but GOD it'd be funny Clown: MAYBE KIIBO, FOR THE EXTRA LACK OF BRAIN CELLS Did Miu drag kiibo there?? Ves: love hotel abandonment issues flashbacks Clown: She would vent this in a completely public scandalous way I love that for her Miu iruma the walking disaster beloved Ves: why doesn't kiibo want to get married? is it just bc miu's being Like That about it or does he have his own issues Hina: What if their relationship is still fairly new Like less than a year Clown: "We aren't financially stable and the average expectancy of dating years before marriage is 4-6 years, we haven't yet to agree upon how many kids we would have because 8 is illogical. I think we should wai-" and Miu is throwing a tantrum Ves: i don't think i've ever seen kiiruma as anything but a fluffy side ship this is spinning in my brain oughhh miu iruma you are the worst gf of all time i love you messy bitch she's gonna key his car they are neurodiverging in opposite directions kiibo's autistic robot ass is planning things out according to nothing but logic meanwhile miu is traumatized and brain damaged and putting beans in all his shoes he doesn't Get why she's so sensitive about this he's said he's not going to leave her, and he's never proved himself a liar, so why doesn't she believe him??? actually on that topic. why do u guys think miu is Like That?? she apparently has very severe abandonment issues but they're brought up ONCE and NEVER EXPLAINED it bothers me i need to fill that gap with hc

Sini: Miu [handshake emoji] Kokichi Crippling trust/abandonment issues. Your love? They do not see Ves: and that's why they make such inch resting friends :) Sini: I hc her mother left her and her dad. Perhaps she also had a childhood friend who abandoned her since in the Love Hotel she sees you as one Ves: i'm inclined to say someone (a parent?) just BOOKED it while she was in the coma Clown: Oohhh!!! Similar hc!!! I also think she was raised by a single dad. Mom was too focused on her career Ves: i gave her a single mom LMAO does she just radiate Divorced Kid Energy??? Sini: SHE DOES HONESTLY What if they left after her coma? I can imagine it going like that…. Ves: i mean her personality was probably different by then maybe they just…didn't like her anymore…… Clown: Ahsgshwhs, I just think part of her sense of humor comes from the fact that her father was like…one of those drunk uncles who gives you shittiest dating advice and has been divorced 3 times and is not at all a bad person but has clearly made far too many mistakes. And he's her MAIN caretaker. And so he talked to her more like a friend than a daughter and so she really was craving some sort of bond she considered unbreakable, someone to take care of her. AND WHATS THAT?? ON TV?? YOUR ROMANTIC ENDEAVOR WOULD DIE FOR YOU?? YES PLEASE??? Ves: SHE JUST WANTS SOMEONE TO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR FOR HER, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK Sini: Men these days, smh Hina: Easy, don't date men Ves: WOMEN WILL NOT FIX HER ISSUES HINA Clown: WOMEN COULD MAKE HER WORSE, TOXIC DOOMED YURI WHEN Ves: her and ouma, if you're not a COWARD Sini: Toxic doomed yuri fem!Kokichi/Miu. 100k words- Me: where [and I still don't see a fucking link] Hina: Ever female Kokichi I've seen scares me So yes I am a coward Me: multigendered Kokichi then, it can still be yuri and that's my preferred hc anyway Ves: kokichi's already a girl to ME. multigender queen Hina: I mean Big boobs Heterosexual Female Kokichi Sini: The big boobs are a red flag Me: I can excuse heterosexuality, but I draw the line at Kokichi with boobs /ref Sini: YOU EXCUSE HETEROSEXUALITY!?

[meimeikyu]

Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

---

so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

[wildlyfreemoon]

a casual’s problems with tua s4 (spoilers)

I just… the umbrella academy s4… (spoilers below) -- 4 things i didnt like, and 1 thing i did

like as someone who is a casual viewer and not super involved in the fandom up until this point, even I am like. Dumbfounded by wtv this season was…

five x lila / the stuck in the subway plot

common census shows that the Lila x Five thing was weird but I just think it’s such a shame that they both probably had so much shared resentment for their “upbringing” and the commission and that whole aspect of their friendship/relationship has completely been thrown away in lieu of them getting together

I don’t have a big gripe with five being gone for 7 years and only him knowing that (ie he was gone for 7 years but people think he’s been gone for a couple hours) bc I THOUGHT this would be a way to explain how Aidan (his actor) is no longer a child and doesnt look like a child any more -- but the show explained that by making s4 take place 6 years after s3. but now five should look 26 (13 y/o body in s1 + 6 year gap + extra 7 years in the subway)

... But there was no real reason (at least to me) for Lila to be with him imo

In honesty, i could see five falling for lila, not because i think he truly LOVES her, but because we have seen a similar pattern of behavior before... at a time where he is isolated and alone, he clung to a vaguely humanoid mannequin for comfort and connection. I can see five trying to lean (?) on lila to not lose his sense of self while he's physically lost again... that being said, i dont see why it HAD to be romantic because another aspect of Five's character is that he is EXTREMELY loyal. he literally went 45 years in the apocalypse, constantly trying to get back to his family. and once Five actually reunited with his family, tried to save them, etc. (as i said earlier, i am a casual fan - although i intend to rewatch s1 to erase wtv s4 was from my mind - so i cant pinpoint exact moments where Five bonded with his siblings post traveling back to them, but i know it happens!)

I just think that if five was alone, AGAIN, FOR YEARS, there could have been interesting parallels to his arc/main motivations in the first season — how no matter how long he was separated for, he wanted to get back to his family, to be with them, to save them…

there still could have been a part where he stops for a couple months because he’s so exhausted and has a crisis wondering if he’s meant to be alone, or why he always gets separated (even after finding the book home, he could take another 6 months in his crisis mode — btw the journal showing the way home makes no sense to me like I get that alternate timeline fives made it but how did they know to make a guide back to OUR five’s timeline or wtv)

2. ben's wasted potential

idk i thought there could have been more ben development. his relationship with his siblings.

the way i see it, (sparrow) ben might have wanted his powers back to feel powerful or to feel connected with his (dead) siblings again. he had trouble connecting with the umbrellas who are "close" and know him but he doesnt know them, making him feel isolated.

the show could have showed us how he bonded with the umbrellas, or just in general, not put him in jail for a ponzi scheme for 4/6 years, which FURTHER created a divide between them when they could have just shown subtle nuances about their new formed relationships.

(also have seen posts about ben dying as the monster he - umbrella ben - always thought he was! and like so true but also so painful for them to bring up like thats so... horrid)

3. the jennifer incident

didnt really understand it... like why was she in the squid? i dont understand why the showrunners would invest "time" (no matter how little they spent on it) into creating a whole plot point and character to give jennifer no character, no motivations, no nothing!

imo, they could have just done the "timelines are bleeding into one another" and just said that everything would be erased because every timeline would replace each other or create too much chaos (? if that makes sense), rather than marigold/durango stuff...

i just think it was such a disappointment for them to introduce a new character but not explain the many intricacies about her

i assume that jennifer was miraculously in the squid like the umbrellas/sparrows were miraculously birthed or wtv, but they dont explain why she was so willing to go with and trust ben immediately, or give her literally any motivations or emotions (?)... like she was seen to be protective and caring of her adoptive uncle, just to leave him for ben?? like if ben and jennifer had a connection because tentacle powers and squid girl -- why??!! it just... make it make sense please!

3a. reginald, ben and jennifer

i do think it was interesting for reginald to have 🔫 ben in the original timeline, but for aforementioned, issues with the lack of development on jennifer and the jennifer incident, it overall felt very lack luster

this aspect of the umbrellas and reginald's relationship was super interesting. the fact reginald was so willing and easily killed one of them, further highlights that reginald was just seeing them as a means to an end.

4. the ending

lowkey hated it... because the whole, "the team sacrificed themselves and everything is righted because we never would have existed" thing feels like such a cop out....

like a "it was all just a dream" ending

+1. Klaus being sober and attempting to keep that

like he was sober for 3 years (a huge accomplishment and im so proud of klaus), and despite everyone basically begging him to drink a sake bomb with them in ep 1, he throws it over his shoulder, maintaining his sobriety. even though klaus doesnt stay sober through the whole season, that scene was really nice to me. i remember watching it and hearing klaus say "it doesnt count" and my heart dropping so hard, for it to be revealed he didnt actually take it and make me feel better again.

...then he gets his powers back and feels like he needs substances to cope... which is trigger for him and a normal response.

i dont blame klaus, and while i dont particularly like how the show handled his sobriety and relapse (esp the positions it put klaus through in s4 with like no real impact on the plot, or klaus realising himself -- which there was a whole scenes about klaus being most powerful when he's sober with reginald in s2 i believe?), it was interesting to show how an addict and their actions can effect the people that care about them too (ie how claire reacts). i think they could have had a more nuanced approach, but overall, the initial attempt to stay sober was cool

OMG ALSO!

i thought it was cool how klaus became a germaphobe/afraid of death(?) after being sober. because i thought it was a symbol of how klaus realised he is no longer immortal and can die now, so he becomes overly cautious, realising how he cannot keep living life the way he had. and this translates to his care of claire i thought, because he can no longer talk to the dead either :D

[natsmagi]

tbh maybe this is a hot take but i really dont get why people insist on having one person in natsumugi be this Super Toxic one and the other a victim. the easiest conclusion to draw is natsume being the bad guy and tsumugi the victim due to natsume getting physical and berating him at times but far too commonly do i see people insist that its the other way around and that tsumugi is actually the super toxic one and natsume just lets tsumugi emotionally manipulate him and thats ?? so weird to me ??? both of these are so weird to me ???

i can ofc see where theyre coming from. both natsume and tsumugi have plenty of issues going on in their heads. i feel like natsumes situation is more commonly understood as him simply just being difficult though and not being the best at managing his emotions, and with tsumugi i get it because he doesnt really have much of a moral compass. he doesnt quite understand peoples feelings and it results in him doing pretty fucked up things at times, but to then frame him as someone who would be abusive?? that doesnt sit right with me

tsumugi may not understand peoples emotions and be apathetic to the struggles people are going through, but its clear to anyone that that man has good intentions at the end of the day. at WORST he may get overbearingly controlling, but its never in a "you cant do x y z" way, its in a "i signed us up for this job opportunity because i thought it sounded nice and didnt speak it through with you beforehand and now we have to do it" way. had this been 2nd year tsumugi maybe he wouldve been far more desperate and even manipulative to an extent because he was in such a dark place, but current day tsumugi is actively trying to understand people better. hes trying to learn how to feel. in wonder game he even outright said that natsume taught him pain and everything else. his growth is clear

i cannot see tsumugi taking advantage of natsume in a genuinely destructive way with modern day ntmg. again, maybe during the earlier !-era stuff he could be more destructive, but natsume also does a relatively good job keeping tsumugi in his place during that time too, with him getting physical and all. its only in !!-era where tsumugi doesnt really mind it and can even make playful jokes about it because theyve Had this development in their relationship. theyve moved Past many of their toxic attributes, and theyve finally grown to understand one another. this is also when tsumugi can have a more "dominating" role in their relationship, since natsume has come to trust him to this extent, but tsumugi wouldnt take advantage of that. again; theyve now grown very close and understanding of one another. theyll have banters such as tsumugi wanting natsume to do something like idk. wear a dress. to which natsume will reply with kys but again. in !!-era this is banter and tsumugi wouldnt actually force natsume to do something he doesnt want to. theyre just very comfortable with each other now

i also really hate the position natsume gets put in with all of this. so often he is already hyperfeminized by the fandom for no reason whatsoever (which is especially fucked up considering how much he canonically hates being seen as a girl), and by making tsumugi this manipulative and abusive partner youre stripping natsume of even more autonomy and framing him as powerless. naively in love with a man thats hurting him. and that doesnt sit right with me either!! natsume does have a big heart and he has endured more than he probably should, but to think natsume would just take it ??? natsume has BACKBONE. if tsumugi upsets him he will either 1. get really mad at him or 2. start ignoring tsumugi alltogether. hes not just gonna put up with it. and tsumugi will notice this change in demeanor. ask if hes done something wrong. he may not understand what it was he did but he never intends on hurting natsume and would genuinely want to resolve it. tsumugi isnt stubborn in this regard, if he fucks up he wants to fix it. and natsume isnt a damsel in distress, why do you want him to be a helpless maiden so bad ??

theres alot of nuance to all of this and im obviously not gonna tackle every single element of their relationship and this is just an overview but TL;DR ntmg are both awful and have many faults and their relationship has gotten incredibly unhealthy at times but the point is theyre growing PAST that. maybe sometimes these toxic traits of theirs will resurface, but that does not make one the abuser and the other the victim. theyre just two fucked up people in love, standing as equals and learning to understand one another. stop framing one as evil

[im-smart-i-swear]

There is a very very very importrant piece of buddy lore that i dont think ive ever shared with ANYONE before but which is FUNDAMENTAL to who they are and how they see themself. Idk why ive never said this before lmao but its Importrant.

So. Ok. The biggest reason why bud feels so guilty about what happened all these years ago still is beacuse, in that moment, when he was trying to kill keith - it was the happiest he has ever felt, before or since. And it haunts them.

They were being mind controlled by haggar, and in my specific interpretation i think its fascinating to think of it not as her literally using him as a puppet, but rather putting him in an altered mind state of sorts? Manipulating his thoughts and emotions until hes willing to do her bidding. Idrk how to explain this lol, but basically i mean that she, through her weird witch shit, turned bud into a '''willing''' servant. Shed just tell him what to do and hed do it bc that's what he Should Be Doing, beacuse that Feels Right. Bc at the moment he genuinely believes hes doing the right thing

Throughout those months w the paladins bud was undeniably having a Bad Time (and also making it everyones problem, rip lance...). so when he finally breaks and haggar gets a hold on him... He doesnt have to think anymore. All he has to do is follow orders, and god, isn't that so much easier? Isnt this so much better? It feels right, to follow instructions blindly, even if he can hear his friends screaming at him throught the fog. That's not importrant anyway.

What im trying to say is- between the exhaustion, the weird mind control shit, the constant headaches and clone programming... Somehow, that total loss of control had the effect of feeling terrifyingly, intoxicantly good. And that's why they can not forgive themself for what they did, even after all these years

To be clear, this is exactly what haggar intended to happen. This was her goal. If your puppet doesnt think the things hes doing are wrong, he wont even try to fight you! But to buddy pinning all the blame on the witch feels too easy. Too tempting. Can they really say it was all her when they vividly remember the peace, the satisfaction they felt when they carried out her orders? Is this really something you can go back from?

Blaming themself is their way of taking back control, in a way. The idea of being completely stripped of their free will, being molded like clay until they fit someones mold - its such a terryfying thought to bud that theyd rather blame themself than admit that complete and utter vulnerability. They werent manipulated into being a puppet, no no no no, they did this all themself! Beacuse they felt like it! Haggar just told them what to do and they did it all bc they wanted to, they were in control the whole time!! Theyre just a sick bastard who did this and enjoyed it. Haha...

The constant crushing guilty they carry around wherever they go is, in their mind, the only way they can make up for this. They cant forgive themself, they cant move on, they will carry this burden until the day they die. Its what they deserve. They have to try and be a good person, and no matter if they succeed at this or not the guilt will always be there. They are a monster, they are unredeemable. It doesnt stop them from trying. But they are always aware of this looming presence that is their guilt.

This is also why they view themself as diffrent from the other clones. Stick isn't a bad person bc he helped haggar out of self-preservation and was also a child at the time. Soup isn't a bloodthirsty monster(and neither is shiro) bc she didnt have a choice. But to bud, they DID make that choice themselves. And that makes them a horrible person.

[idealspawn]

fuck. i feel so fucking bad. i hate how i sometimes shut down and cant communicate my thoughts right away. and i cant really even vocalize that i need time either. i just lose my voice and freeze. i made the guy feel uncomfortable i think. like he said everything is fine but like. like . like. he is confused but like like like like like its not like i wasnt ever planning on elaborating bc im actually really good at communicating i just like. am weird sometimes. and i told him that. and all is well but i feel so bad that i literally just said nothing when he tried to talk to me about it. he wanted to sleep w me and i was okay w it at first bc i want it too but i was high for the first time after like 2 months and literally so disoriented and i freaked out like i barely even recognized him, i was THAT high. and then just froze and shriveled and said nothing and kept repeating that i dont know anymore and cant explain it rn. he stopped immediately the moment he noticed sth was off and asked if i was uncomfortable and/or afraid of him as in nervous. and he tried to talk abt it even when we werent high anymore and he blamed himself a lot which is so sad bc thats not it and then tried to like i guess move slower and said its ok if im not ready but the next 2 days we were together i literally just said nothing when he tried to make advances or talk abt why both of us acted awk and i like just acted like nothing happened but like still made moves on him and was okay with like other stuff just not like sleep-sleep w him. i kept sending mixed signals. i also was like so weird and quiet in general the entire time i was w him and i said i was in an odd mood and he pinky promised it wont affect anything and that he likes multidimensional people and its okay that im diff sometimes. i drank alcohol the entire time i was there too and fuck. idk im just. so fucking weird. he said its ok he is nervous and scared too and like i just fucking said nothing i dont know whats my fucking problem. fuck. like it was actually really fun too most of the time. we did graffiti and looked at the stars when we were lying down in this tower near like mmmm a big beautiful singing stage (???) and smoked his last lucky cigarette and did fun stuff on playgrounds at night and the moon and the clouds were so beautiful. the clouds were exactly like in suzume when the sky collapsed. then we cooked together, it was so fun to shop together and then we watched moomins and it was actually really nice. i picked him a nickname by opening a book on a certain page number and picking a word blindly. and he read me the little prince in french bc we both know french too and its a sentimental book to him. he sang me songs and played the guitar. he also surprised me by playing one of "our" songs and i literally started to cry. and he altered these lyrics in this one song so it applied to us and it was so sweet. i wear oversized clothes and he put my sweatshirt on and i had his jean jacket and bracelet on the entire time. he looked so nice in my hoodie and he didnt want to take it off and kept hugging it. i think probably bc it smells like me. i said i came from the moon, that they switched me when i was 5. he said he isnt even from this solar system. it was cute. made me not feel insane lol. its just like.. im a literal idiot sometimes. he was supposed to come to my place today and he asked if its okay if he comes tomorrow bc he is very confused and scattered and slow today and i think its bc of me and i feel so bad. like its okay he comes later but i intended on explaining what happened w me to him today and i just want to fix everything fast and i dont want him to feel bad and fuck. i fucking dont know. i asked him if he is confused bc of me but he hasnt answered yet. i feel so fucking bad. like all is well he said that a million times but i just want to fix everything now and immediately but not over texts....

[rebelcharmings]

🪞🫶💕📍 RAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

hello gummy !!!!

🪞 which character is most like you and why?

oh this is a tough one right off the bat…. i’m probably gonna go with lizzie not Just bc she’s my fav character but actually there’s probably a good reason for that . i also kinda have a temper i try to control. and also my fav colour is red. yea see we’re practically the same person. also i like to be dramatic just for the lols

🫶 otp?

ohhh if you’ve seen enough of my posts u already know this . DIZZIE. AKA DARING AND LIZZIE. AKA THE ONE CANON SHIP THAT HAD SOO MUCH POTENTIAL BUT DIDNT GO ANYWHERE!!! if you’ve read the wonderlandiful world book you’ll especially understand where i’m coming from. literally even a snippet of it is in my header. it’s just sooo!!! idk!! i like the drama of everyone expecting daring to be with apple or at the very least a “Proper Princess”.. but here comes this wonderlandian princess who threatens to chop people’s heads off and there is just . Hearts in his eyes (pun intended). he’s completely smitten. and lizzie is just like Ugh this guy again but secretly finds him intriguing and likes the fact he likes Her for Her. my fav ship dynamic. obviously not biased but i think it’s the best out of the daring ships mainly bc i cant personally imagine cerise being attracted to men and i already told my thoughts on darabella.. i have many more thoughts on dizzie i should probably make a post on that.

this ship is just so criminally underrated there’s rlly not enough fics on this. i have soo many unfinished dizzie fics that will hopefully one day see the light.. who knows

💕 any other character dynamics you like (family, friends, ships)?

oh u already know what i’m gonna say. CHARMING SIBLINGS!!!! the books especially portray their dynamics so well. which is why i have a bone to pick with fics or interpretations where dexter or darling, specifically dexter, get rlly annoyed at their brother or daring is rlly condescending bc while dexter mayy be a little tired of being in his shadow they all still love each other!!! daring and dexter playfully wrestle, daring laughs as darling swings on his arm like a monkey bar, daring is proud of “dexter” suddenly improving in hero class and reassures him later that he knows this isn’t his thing but he isn’t going to hurt him while jousting…. i also find it entertaining to read about dexter and daring shooing off all of darling’s suitors, it’s nice to see how protective they r of her. and that one diary entry of darling remembering a memory of the three playing in the mud and then running away into the forest, making fun of their mother. it’s so cute . so good.

i reckon my love for this sibling dynamics and most sibling dynamics in media is bc of me being an only child and projecting bc i’ve always wanted siblings like this but anyways…..

📍 favourite eah location?

ooh interesting question . is it weird to say the castleteria LOL. i’ve always wanted to be in those american school type cafeterias and the different levels in the castleteria just seem even more fun. so that or the study lounge bc i’m a Nerd and like to study in environments like that.. i liked to study in my high school’s yr 12 study room especially when it was quiet, but it was also Just as fun to just chat about anything with friends and other classmates

[antiradqueer]

Trigger warning for mentions of fetishization, pro-c for non-con stuff,paras, and like very little of cult tactics, nothing with much detail I believe. Sorry if i tagged these wrongly, I'm not really good at putting trigger warnings.

Lol, im in the rq community but its like really confusing, i dont agree with some terms that fetishize people and invalidate others but some parts are i agree with too so its weird.

Im not sure if i should leave and even if i do where do i exactly go i dont really know, also some of these terms really help me to explain and express my non-human identity better, and stuff like that. (i only have id with transbody terms that go like 'wanting to have more eyes' or 'wanting to be taller' due to non-humanity, im not sure if that is wrong. Because these terms really would be okay and very nice in my eyes if they werent soo,, interwined with pro-c for non-con paras and actual fucked up shit.)

Also the community is meant to be anti-harasment, which is what i am, knowing that harassment on the internet wont really work in anyway. Though the community is extreme (this goes for antis too, both sides are very extreme which sometimes wants me to just stay in the middle of it.) And people in the rq tend to ignore the pro-harassment rq's by saying stuff like 'oh theyre not actually rq' and that on itself sounds like very problematical to me. Maybe not just me, i have no idea.

I also thought of id as transabled due to my heavy signs of BIID, (though i am not diagnosed so it might be something else, so i wont self diagnose for now since it might be a placebo effect due to my legs not functioning well in the first place) but the things it implied was just,, not something i would like to be associated with. So idk if that makes me unvalid or anything of that.

Im so fucking confused and i dont really like the fact i am so confused and kind of not fitting for both sides and being neutral seems,, y'know,, ignorant to me because both sides have their extremes and problems, so god i have no idea.

Also i did notice rq community using ways that are like,, weird, and i have experienced cult tactics and when i noticed it literally didnt go away so yeah. And that certainly something I don't want to be associated with and harms me too.

Its weird, i have no idea, wa.

Also i quite literally dont care whos origin is what, i used to be heavily endogenic but after a while i was like,, 'dude i cant change these people nor should i can encourage possible harmful things to them and the plural community' and decided to be neutral especially because i have a traumagenic system of 750+ with some alters still heavily anti-endo and some pro-endo. Which again makes me feel like i will not be welcomed elsewhere.

I have talked to a few anti-rqs about my experience but idk

Also i have multiple paraphilic disorders and Paraphilias without disorders, so im not sure if i will be affected in the other communities since of my paraphilic disorders.

So sorry this is like very long, i apologize if i made y'all uncomfortable,, it was not what i intended.

first of all, I will just repeat what I tell every radqueer that comes into our inbox: think about if you really want to be part of and support a movement that inherently supports pro-c paraphiles of all kinds, is racist, ableist and whatnot. you simply can't on one hand call yourself radqueer and on the other hand pick and choose the parts of the community you like. if you use that label, you are supporting the WHOLE community, end of the story. of course there are disgusting people in every community, but it's different with radqueers - for example, there are quite a lot if pro-c zoophiles who are also therians and claim to be part of the therian community. BUT the therian label in itself is strictly against that and will never ever accept those people. the radqueer label however is inherently supportive of and welcoming to pro-c zoos, pedos and necros. and that's the difference. that's why you are still supporting those people even if you only use the term radqueer. please realize there are alternative terms you can use for the same experiences, which are not associated with radqueers and/or are coined by folk who are openly anti radqueer and anti transid.

aside from that, being neutral or unaligned is 100% a path you can choose! always put your own comfort and safety first and if the discourse stresses you out too much, you can always just back off.

I don't have too much to add honestly, to me it seems like you are THIS close to truly realizing how horrible the radqueer community actually is - I mean, you even noticed the cult tactics. but it is on you to take the final step and get out and I promise you, if you do, you will be welcomed by us antis and other communities!

[I won't comment on the endo system part, since we don't do syscourse topics here]

[queernarcissus]

interested in irl beeftho gay love and weird sex if you feel like elaborating 👀

oksy this. is longer than intended and also doesnt even get to the sex but. yknow.

how they meet is. not entirely solidified in my mind. buut im thinking abt beef at one of his car meet/show things and etho is there too. (not sure why etho would be there or if he would even know stuff but. whatever*) thwyre both looking at the same car and get to chatting and they have a nice convo, end up wandering around and looking at other ones together

anyway they like dont recognise each other bc like. beef hadnt actually had his face/appearance be public for very long and etho doesnt watch like that much yt especially irl stuff so. yeah. and beef just thinks that he made friends with some guy who is really handsome - not that beef would dare admit that to anyone - and seems really cool actually.

anyway somehow they become like actual friends and get quite close and dan confides in theo abt his girlfriend and how shes kinda not great sometimes and he doesnt know what to do. but i mean eventually they break up (canon to irl (kinda, people didnt like the gf beef had in 2016/17 like the comments abt her are so fucking rude but also everyone says beef doesnt look happy /with/ her sooooo))

at this point etho has realised that this is beef and. he is having an insane time keeping the things seperate. <- beef did also tell him abt the yt stuff so.

now idk if this /would/ happen but i am thinking abt how funny it would be to have a dramatic reveal but. in minecraft. like theo mentions to dan that he sometimes plays minecraft and so hes like oh you wanna play together? and then server etcetc sends tbe ip to theo and. ethoslab joins the server. and beef goes. huh? did i send it to the wrong person? and in the call they are in etho just immideiately starts apologising. beef is just. fucking gobsmacked. bc yeah he finally accepted he was in love wkth this guy and he wasnt straight. and now it turns out that this guy. is his coworker. who no one knows what he looks like. but beef does. and as hes talking beef is like. of course its fucking etho how the hell did i not even realise what the fuck.

* i mean i think maybe he was just bored one day and found something to do. and whilst he knows like. mostly fuck all. hes so interested in what dan is telling him abt it all and dan is just glad someone is being like. receptive to him talking abt it n shit. <-also wants to keep talking to the cute guy.

[videostak]

rly strange weird thing happened last night that kinda has me in a idk just CYCLICAL feeling cause some1 who ghosted me like 4 years ago (i knew them from high school and they ghosted me like a year or so after it ended) and last night they texted me acting like nothing happened and just started up a conversation. well they said sorry but u kno just on the side like as if it hadnt been like 4 years.. this was like at 11 at night too so i dont kno i entertained the idea of conversation thinking she'd like kinda go more into why she hasnt contacted me these past 4 years. she's not one of the people i was particularly closee close to or even connected particularly well so it didnt even hurt me too bad when she ghosted me so like i dont even or cant even summon up the energy to like call her out on it cause i dont feel too strong abt it but it is v strange and .... weird. actually got a text in like idk 2020 or 2021 from a random number presumed someone i removed from my contacts apologizing for being m i a saying theyd make it up to me but when i asked who it was and that i mustve removed them from my contacts they didnt respond lol. i wonder if that was her. but also there were like 2 other people it also couldve been i wished i remembereed exactly what the text said cause if that previous text said m i a it couldve been the same person cause she also said m i a in reference to it . anyways i talked for a bit about how things were n stuuff but feel very dirty abt it . just letting someone treat me like shit and walk all over me again with no regards to my feelings like its been a long time since ive even talked to someone i kno irl so it feels so cyclical again and also my fault the way i act like completeley ok w/ ppl just treating me however and picking things back up whenever they want to. and also like idk the nerve of ghosting someone for 4 years and not even saying who u are when u do text them back like assuming theyd still have u in their contacts lol.. tho idk she did say that it wasnt just me and that she hadnt messaged any1 for like the past few years idk its v strange to not give any further explanation when it was getting later at night i texted that i was gonna go to sleep n stuff and she didnt respond and she hasnt texted today yet but its still p early i kinda hope she doesnt like idk we literally dont even have a single thing in common and i def feel like we have less in common now than back then. i also like idk dont rly kno what to do. im hoping she doesnt message again but i guess if she continues to ill be like umm hey lol. idk its so easy for ppl to walk all over me and make me do whatever like idk i think i really am easily manipulated as dumb as it sounds. like i v rarely object to being made to do things but theres no reason for me to even attempt to rekindle a friendship andthe fact that she message presumably intending to do so has to mean she like mustve gotten into a argument or smthn w/ her friends or smthn or that theres something idk. just made me feel so dirty and gross last night texting pretending

[ssreeder]

i dont feel like discording right now so your getting this here instead.

what the fuck was that

i mean it was amazing in the sense that your an incredible writer and you captured all the traumatic shit perfectly and whatnot but still whatthefuck

you are just trying to completely trying to isolate sokka arent you?

Like its zukos turn to get some type of emotional support (even if it is by iroh 🙄😒) but atleast its there. But Sokka is just pushing everyone away.

i mean i dont blame him for lying, i probably would to in this situation.

and i dont think either of them are in the wrong this chapter, like i think they both have every right to be as angry as they were in this chapter (esp sokka bc katara is acting a tad bit shady)

surprisingly i dont want to strangle iroh this chapter. so that was a weird expierience (actually semi enjoying reading him)

Its like your trying to murder us all but like,, in a very artistic and lovely way.

because liab is horrific (affectionate) and stuff but its also really good and i love it.

i think you should let sokka go batshit and actually attack someone (preferebly iroh) but just my thoughts .

i still dont forgive you for the whole shen situation. i think about that atleast once a day. ive never had a fanfiction haunt me and i didnt even like shen that much but did you care? No you ripped my heart out. (idk what im saying here)

on a different note

you always do such a good job at capturing trauma and the effects of it. also the longevity of it. like as much as i hate reading sokkas slow descent into madness its also very nice and i love it. and as much as i hate seeing zuko tortured over and over and over and over again (leave him alone jfc) its war and its accurate for a prince that got turned over into the wrong hands (of course, who at this point is the right hands for him at this point since sokkas a litttle bit insane and ozais obiously a douche bad and irohs a twit). (i feel like your really trying to push the whole 'iroh is the best thing for zuko rn' thing and while i very reluctently agree, i still dont like iroh. he'll never get my approval).

I got off track.

anywho

even though its taking so long for both of them to actually be maybe sane, i think the little bit (we might) get by end of liab will be worth it because its taking so long??? idk.

i want to say i trust you with that but i dont

is it going to be perfectly executed? Yes. Definitely.

is it going to be happy? Who knows.

i think thats all for now

if your having trouble following my train of thought so am i but its your fault so.

the last portion was intended to be nice idk if it came across that way.

I’m not trying to isolate Sokka! He is doing a damn good job of that without any effort from me.

Katara & Sokka we’re just doing what siblings do, fight. But one is exhausted and emotionally drained and the other is in fight mode and ready to cut anyone down (even if it’s accidentally his little sister)

Shens death was sad, but he was laid to rest soooooo…. Positive moments??

Awwww thanks for the compliment - I’m glad you enjoy the way I capture the longevity of trauma because it’s not going away but time & support will help them heal slowly. Although after what they experienced they will never be “back to normal”

There will be a happy ending for those of the characters that survive, but there will always be lasting trauma. It doesn’t just ‘go away’ unfortunately.

Your ask was really sweet I’m surprised!! I feel warm & fuzzy MAXXXX!!!! you’re amazing. & I’ll make sure to stuff liab full of iroh content JUST. FOR.YOU. <3 (& Zuko cause he needs his uncle right now)