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#bc even though im literally an undergrad
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I like that Jane Austen really wrote both Persuasion and Emma about me JUST so that I can say I'm Anne Elliott when everyone else is being annoying and then Emma Woodhouse when I'm being annoying (90% of the time)
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its-a-hil · 2 months
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also. weird thing
when im on campus now i just feel like i dont belong
maybe it's bc i don't have many social contacts at my uni like i did in undergrad, but. idk.
even though im literally a student i just feel out of place on a college campus
when did i fucking grow up
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chryblossomjjk · 1 year
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I remember you mentioned how hard you work to get good grades. Do you usually get started on assignments early? Like long before they’re due?
I tell myself to start ahead of time bc I know how bad procrastination messes me up. But I end up doing it. Sometimes the pressure to do well makes me so nervous to start so I end up procrastinating. Like the task itself is overwhelming, which literally doesn’t make any sense.
Do you have any tips on how to combat it? I used to be more disciplined in the past. But I’m going into my 5th year of my undergrad and I feel completely fried.
hi my love! i am definitely a procrastinator lol. that second paragraph describes my feelings exactly! i get stuck in this weird adhd loop where i cant do homework early bc it stresses me out but not doing it also stresses me out 😵‍💫
last semester was a lot and i was forced to manage my time better. something that worked for me was having a set day (mondays) where i would just complete all of my work for the week, even if it took me all day. that way, i could just focus on work for that one day and then be free for the rest of the week. ofc, that didn’t always work, especially when i had multiple essays due in the same week. im still awful with procrastination though, so if anyone has some advice pls share!
and also feel you on that last note. college is a lot of work, too much at times, especially when you’re working on top of that. i know breaks are a luxury at this point, but whenever you get the chance, please make time for yourself and your mental health. that’s trumps all. im rooting for you, you’ll kill it! fighting 💗
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tyonfs · 3 months
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🎀’s pre ramadan update finally!!
okay lol i cant really remember what i talked abt in my last one but first of all ramadan mubarak!!! to preface this very very long update how are you alice? i saw u said that u fucked things up with that talking stage (?) i think that’s what u said IF HES A GOOD GUY GO FOR IT!!!
you probs can’t remember but i think i did mention things about my friend group. okay so basically im just gonna name drop it does nawt matter but my friend emily, we’ve been friends since high school and she goes to a college an hour ish away and lemme tell u she has been so fake. she got a boyfriend and she likes to act very differently when she has one she basically talks down to me because i have a bad track record so there’s that. because of that i’ve grown closer to my other friends from our same high school who go to my college and we’re really close!! one of the girls invited me to her sorority formal and even got me a date! overall im really excited 🙈 i wish we were insta moots or smth so i could show u but nonetheless. now with that friend group it was originally a trio BUT this one girl, gabbi, we’ve been friends since 1st grade and she felt like she was excluded so we became closer and the other girls basically said i was replacing them and it was this whole thing but gabbi isn’t friends with them anymore but they’re cool with me? gabbi doesn’t care bc she’s mature and i love that girly for that. so much!
ughhh relationships. literally nothing i’ve officially gotten the ick from arsal FINALLY GUYS IM OVER HIM LIKE ACTUALLY OVER HIM. so amazing. i feel a lil lighter and a lot better abt myself. i’m about to buy a whole new wardrobe for JUNIOR YEAR. omg literally the time went by so quick i just told u how nervous i was to be a sophomore and now im one step closer to graduating and getting my degree. NERVY.
besides that school is going great as always we been knew im literally a smarty pants. i’ve been into like sza and frank ocean lately, my summer artists luv em SPEAKING OF SUMMER im so excited 🙈🙈🙈 so so excited. in other words i listened to enhas new ish album IT WAS REALLY GOOD. i’m upset i didn’t listen earlier. honestly the only grp i can some how care about is enha because lesserafim keeps on supporting isnotreal and it’s really tiring.
because of the war, i see how palestinians are still connected with their faith and still praying all though all that’s happening and alhamdulillah although i had not strayed too far from my faith, i feel more connected especially ramadan starting. i’ve been praying more regularly and even starting the quran again. inshallah this ramadan will be good!
i’ve been reading ur smau on jayflrt and it’s GOOOOOD luv it so far. how was that spontaneous trip!! give me an update alice i miss u!!! - 🎀
OMG i can't remember if i wished you in my other blog but ramadan mubarak ml !! 💘💘 OH SHIT yes i did fuck things up.... i think hes a good guy but HMM i think we both have different goals for what our first date was gonna be so im on the fence :p
i do rememeber this yes !! this is the one from the last ask i answered right?? you can send your ig if you're comfortable and i'll follow (and delete the ask obv so i don't expose your ig to everyone HAHAH) 🥰🥰 but your other friends from high school sound so much better than emily and i hope things go well with the sorority formal guy!! omg idk why they would claim that you were replacing them :// but i'm glad gabbi took it well and is mature about the distancing !! that's so much easier for everyone involved :')
YESSS CONGRATS ON BEING FREE 🥳 no seriously it feels like divine intervention when you finally get the ick from a guy you like that turns you off him for good LOL also GOOD LUCK FOR JUNIOR YEAR you're so close to being one degree hotter <33 enjoy the last two years of undergrad it'll fly by so fast :') AND I FULLY SUPPORT THE NEW WARDROBE YOU SHOULD BALL OUT
omg i do remember you saying you're into enha more than nct now ! but orange blood was SOOO good 😩 wait i need to know your biases and when you got into them too 🙏 are you going to their concert too?? i went to the fate tour so i don't think i'm gonna commit to fate+ unfortunately 🤧 and omg yeah i keep seeing lesserafim with starbucks like ?? and especially yunjin too,, i wouldn't have expected it from her of all people :/ and the whole argument like "oh starbucks isn't on the bds list" like okay yeah well two of their major shareholders literally make the weapons that the us military is providing for israel and at the end of the day it's just a matter of morals too
ahh i hope you have a wonderful ramadan ml!! i hope it'll be a good month for you to be in tune with your faith more ! also i'm so glad you like the jay smau so far !! 🥹🥹 it's a little intimidating to write but i enjoy it HAHAH also the trip was really fun !! i picked up my friends and we drove to our other friend's place to spend the weekend there and we went to the beach and went clubbing :') tbh the weather wasn't the best unfortunately but we did the best we could 🥲 also i drank so much that i'm swearing off alcohol for like 3 months 😭
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sehunniepotwrites · 8 months
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HAAAAAAAI i'm so glad i could bring a smile to your face in your day through my messages heheheheh ☺️ how was your day today!!!
omg is this telepathy or what! i was just considering and thinking of whether i wanted to pursue a masters after finishing up my undergrad degree studies!! hehe what's your masters in if it's not too private to ask 🫢 i was just thinking of doing masters because of my current timeline!! it's rly rly tuff to find a job here after graduating because the mkt is currently just kinda meh :/ so i was just wondering if perhaps going for masters would put me in a better spot!! but then again masters is something i can decide at a later time so rn im just gathering opinions from ppl who have taken it! wbu!! do u have any thoughts or opinions? :")
OMGGGGGG have i mentioned im a SUCKER for childhood besties concepts cuz that's just so so so cute 🥹🥹 I LOVE IT I CANT WAIT!!!! 😍 and my goodness how r u alw so creative w your ideas??? iM so unimaginative that like stories alw amaze me 🫢 hehehehe and HELLO wdym u have a life like a fic odnfoenfoke THATS SO COOL AND SWEET N LOVELY gosh i'd WISH i had like one thing from a fic ever happen to me 🥰🥰🥰🥰
AHHHH im so glad u could meet your friends and hang out together!! wish u had as much fun as u possibly could!! hehehehe how nice would it be if we could always be hanging out w our besties and just spending time together 🥺 hope you guys r meeting again soon!!! sounds rly rly fun to karaoke together it's been so so long for me to both karaoke and meet my friends cuz literally everyone im close to or care about is on exchange this semester :/
which brings me to my never ending rant of how despresso espresso i am this semester >< it's a rly tuff time in my life rn cuz im trying to navigate and find an internship that matches both my interest and my degree cuz it is a graduation requirement for me 🤡 i guess im at least getting somewhere w the search cuz i did have a pretti good offer lately! and im currently just pending the outcome of another role i interviewed for under the same company before making a decision (if i do get offered by the other role too heh) 😊 but then im just rly rly LONELY this semester and im just sad cuz im attending classes and doing everything by myself :/ and i dont have friends arnd locally rn that i could meet and just unwind after a period of stress so its rly draining me a lot on top of my never ending assignments projects and exams 🥲🥲 and yea ldr is so so tough and its so hard to keep my emotions in check because of how big of an overthinker i am so im always just having sleepless nights, constant nightmares and sometimes even sleep paralysis 🥲 i guess im becoming more independent from this whole experience though! forces me to become a whole even without everyone by my side and to continue living and functioning, doing what i should be doing!
i love coming to talk to u and reading all your responses too!! 🩵 m alw looking forward to your replies and your kind words to me hehehehe keeps me going!!!
love, 🍑
i've spent the weekend in bed becuase i'm sick again! i binged s2 of the summer i turned pretty and i cried a whole bunch. i love how they really took the angsty route this season--really showed how diff people deal with grief! probs gonna call out tomorrow because i've been sneezing like crazy and my voice is lowkey gone ;; i think i'm gonna try to get some writing done and post a teaser for a story that may never be completed but it's too good to just stay in my drafts!!
oh sure, i have my masters in education. i went thru a one year ma program with a teacher's cred tied into it too. my program was unique in that they condensed a two year prog into one accelerated and it was the toughest year of my life tbh. working full time as a teacher and going to school full time for basically two degrees was tough.
i love all my ideas but i haven't been able to finish them!!! i really want to get them out to the world bc theyre too good to sit in my drafts but it's so incomplete!! the one i am thinking about posting can be a standalone because its such an open-ended ending but there's still WAY more planned for it.
if you have time, playing games together online is a good way to keep in contact. we played pictionary on a website and it was super fun during the pandemic a lot!
it looks like youre slowly getting your ducks in a row for the internship despite the stress! but i see how missing your so and friends can affect your mood. feeling alone is never the best feeling and i totally see where you are coming from. but look at you, you're already looking at the positives out of your stressful situation! that's so great! you can only go up from here, you know? and listen, this is something i always tell my students, each person has their own timeline--their own time to make mistakes, to figure out what they want or need, etc. you may take longer than others but you don't need to worry about others. worry about you and focus on the things you can do for yourself to make you better. and if you make a mistake, that's just a lesson you can take. it's all about your growth mindset!
love u lots!!!
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berryunho · 2 years
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adsfakerjg HELLO HELLO !!! mightychondria is back omg these past 2 weeks have been slaughtering me ALIVE and its not over yet like at the beginning i was like "hm what if i drop out" BUT NOW ITS NOT A JOKE ANYMORE
omg yes i need a masters degree too but you know i think ive had enough undergrad to last me a lifetime this is TOO much and its only oct???
wowow youre actually so talented i cant imagine learning/being able to speak all those languages. like. im already challenged in english and any other language is just a trainwreck
how did you do on your chem exam??? i bet you slayed it no doubt in my mind
u know i feel like as long as you can profit off of smth youve gotta charge like pls why am i paying for entry and extra on top of that to store my coat 😭
OMG I LOVE breaking bad. i watched it over the winter break when i was crocheting a sweater and it still hits such a good show. did you end up dyeing your hair? i might go to a party with my friend for halloween. maybe we'll twin?
i only have 1 day of classes this week bc thanksgiving was yesterday and thank god labs are CANCELLED like my sanity is going down the drain bc of them 😭
also this is so random but im seeing this guy and he is SO SWEET i thought chivalry was dead until i met him like ugh i feel so lucky esp bc my last relationship was so toxic its like dang i really got lucky meeting you huh 😭😭😭
BUT aside from that i hope youre having a good start to your week!
-mightychondria
OMG HIII
lol ive been wondering about you !! but KLJGFDLKFGJ i totally get it shit starts getting REAL this time of year and it is not funny ksljf;lasdjk
fr sometimes ill be sitting in lecture or doing homework or whatever and i remember i have to do this for 4.5 more years and i just. BRUH. and i chose this. LKJFDLKDJF:LK but also sometimes i get the realization that like im literally gonna be a scientist and this is my training and im like. oh shit. wait. LMAOJFKDJF
omg that first chem exam i got a B on which. honestly slayed. and ive had another one since then and i got an A on that one so slay pt 2. KLFJ:DLKSJF i consider anything above failing a win for me when it comes to ochem so that A had me Screaming LOL have you had any chem exams yet ??
breaking bad literally slaps so hard LKFJDLSDK i watched it for the first time in august and the last season....... like what was that ..... AKLDFLASKJ i tip my hats to the writers bc literally wtf has to be wrong w you to write that story. like i respect it heavily. but still. LMAOO im watching better call saul now and im on season 2 but ... idk its not as gripping to me lol but omg you can crochet ... ive wanted to learn for a long time but i dont wanna buy a bunch of yarn and then give up LOL
YAAAYY thanksgiving !! im glad you're getting a break !!! hehe and ... omg ... a romantic interest ... YAY! hehe i hope everything stays going good w him!! its literally so hard to find a good man aklakjfdl;k im happy for you :]] do keep me posted hehe
but ty!! my week went quite well !! i have a really bad cough (no covid though heh) and basically have no voice which was awkard af during my korean oral exam today LKFJS:LFDJKL: but i still got full points hehe AND idk if you like hockey but im obsessed lol and my team's season started yesterday and i went to the game !! which was super fun even though we lost lol i love my hockey boys sm ... LKFJDLSKJF
ANYWAYS i hope your week ended up well and you enjoyed your break!! :]] have a good weekend !!
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sparksnevadas · 2 years
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Complaining about grad school feel free to ignore
​i wont drop out of school, i know i wont, but i wish i didnt have to work to afford school goddamn
I wish i could dedicate my free time to just having fun after a committing enough hours to school and homework. But grad schools just a mess of work never ending and even being on tumblr feels like im wasting valuable time but i just cant focus rn lol im burnt out despite curating my classes to MY interests.
Plus i have imposters syndrome like thrice over from my thesis project, work, and then writing fic. Which would be manageable if it were just 2 (and sincerely my readers are the best people out there and i love them all to bits for being outwardly supportive of me, its been incredibly helpful) but the imposters syndrome from work alone is double the amt of stress and im just. Agh.
12 more weeks to go for the semester though. Ill get through it. Then i get to travel a bit and then we start over. 16 weeks and then i graduate and start job hunting. (Which is daunting but at least ill eventually earn my free time. I might start streaming then, for funsies lol.)
Anyways if you read this and considering grad school: when you do your undergrad, please take a break before applying to grad school, even if its just by enrolling a semester late. I literally started grad school two weeks after finishing undergrad in summer and looking back… i shouldve taken a break. My little bit of free time last year was highlighted with me starting to write and it was such a delight that now im here still trying to squeeze in writing between everything bc its one of my favorite outlets.
Anyways. Mini disorganized rant over. Back to loving my blorbos
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bubmyg · 3 years
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there was no particular reason i wrote all this down other than reading the translations to my universe made me cry last week because i’m just Like this. this is a mini compilation of yoongi lyrics that i hold gently in my palm and close to my heart in a he’s my artist for life kind of way. these aren’t all my favorite yoongi lyrics, i certainly have more but not ones that fit this general vibe. 
this is like extremely disorganized, i kind of just wrote it like a journal (and i’ll probably copy it to my bullet journal at some point actually). interpretations are my own, music is cool in that we can all read and hear the same thing and get different things out of it (which is why yoongi has often said he doesn’t attach specific meaning to things, giving it up to the listener instead)
so yeah. here’s me being fond of yoongi in 4k for no reason other than. idk. i wanted to. all translations are from doyoubangtan and doolsetbangtan. 
song request - lee sora ft suga
“I’ll be with you, for your birth and your end; That you’d remember that I’m with you, wherever you are; I’ll be a comfort for your life at any time, and so; please, that you’d lean on me and take a rest, every once in awhile.”
to me, this perfectly encapsulates what creating music is for yoongi in a two-fold kind of way. not only does he want his music to be a source of comfort for those who listen to it (just as the art of music is for himself), he’s also consistent in his assurance that taking a rest is okay. not being okay is okay. simply existing for the time being is okay. it’s a gentle empathy that comes from the experienced heart of someone who’s not going to tell you that it is okay, but will tell you that it won’t always be like this. friendly little moon trying to get you to smile with him on sleepless nights.
so far away - agust d ft suran
dream, will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships
this was on my undergrad graduation cap. it’s one of my favorite lyrics of all time. if so far away is my heart song, this is my heart lyric. this is a common motif in yoongi’s lyrics; dormancy is only temporary, you will bloom at the end of the cold winter.
dream, hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life
creation to end is another common motif n his lyrics. in this specific context, i imagine it to most closely be analogous to holding dreams close to you your entire life. dreams are dreams no matter how they manifest, even if they’re simply something you long for until your “end”.
Hope it to be there with you at your creation and at the end of your life; It will be generous to you wherever you stand; It will eventually be in full bloom at the end of hardships; The beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will the future be
the entirety of this song reads like a story and this last refrain reads like the conclusion (kind of). the slight wording change from the previous choruses means a lot in that regard, more definite and firm. you will be okay. maybe not now, maybe not next week. but you will be.
suga’s interlude - halsey ft suga
Though the dawn before sunrise is darkest; don’t forget the stars you longed for only rise in the darkness
just a really pretty but heart wrenching lyric in the context of the entire song. he’s also used this metaphor several times. i love me a good string of consistency with minor adaptations to fit the vibe. this song also made me cry the first time i read the translations lmao.
my universe - coldplay ft bts
Because the trial we face now is just for a moment anyway; All you have to do is to just keep shining bright like now; And we will follow you, embroidering this long night
this could mean so many things depending on how you wanted to contextualize it. of course the song is about love, so you could view it in that way. we’re in the midst of a global pandemic where we can’t see each other. or maybe it’s simply existence. continue to exist and one day your bright light will be followed even in the darkest of nights.
also the og title of telepathy being 잠시 (for a moment) is so...min yoongi you are so cool
people - agust d
Did someone say humans are the animals of wisdom?; The way I see it, humans are the animals of regret
Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries; Your ordinaries are my extraordinaries; Your extraordinaries are my ordinaries
super simple to understand which i think makes it more poignant. especially if you contextualize it with everything he’s said or written regarding the plight of fame and how he himself grapples with it as min yoongi.
28 - agust d ft niihwa
just this whole song. if song request encapsulates yoongi’s musical ethos, this captures a lot of his general musings.
paradise - bts
Just living like this, surviving like this, that’s my small dream; Dreaming dreams, grasping dreams, breathing breaths, it’s often too much
a more blunt take on the simply existing is a good enough dream. yoongi’s 2018 new years message was one of the things that made me go “yes. Him™” so paradise is very <3 for me
interlude: shadow - bts
Flying high scares me; I mean, nobody had told me; how lonely it is here –;how my leap could be my fall
another thing he uses frequently, even as recently as an interview regarding permission to dance. the contemplation of how a fall is far scarier than landing because getting back up is uncertain.
Yeah, I’m you and you’re me, do you finally get that now?; Yeah, you’re me and I’m you, do you finally get that now?
the entirety of this song is haunting particularly paired with the sampling and the music video as a visual but this part is just...the whole idea of competing internal voices throughout the narrative of the song or if you’d rather truly treat the lyrics like a piece of literature, you have quite the unreliable narrator, one that’s trying to grapple with his own sense of self.
140503 at dawn - agust d
Pretending that I’m not lonely, pretending that I’m not suffering; needlessly pretending that I’m okay, and pretending hard that I’m strong; I built a wall in front of me, “Don’t come inside”; I’m an island in this wide ocean, “Don’t abandon me”
the entirety of agust d just makes me ache but i mainly pulled this part because he uses the island metaphor consistently. here, it’s used like i said before; achingly.
this song also gets overlooked a lot in the larger context of agust d but anyway
eight - IU ft suga
Island, yeah this is an island; a small island that we made for each other; Yeah, mm, forever young, the word ‘forever’ is a sandcastle; A farewell is just like an emergency text warning of a disaster; A morning met together with yearning; As each of us pass this eternity, we’re sure to meet again on this island
can i be honest and say i forgot this song came out at the beginning of the pandemic. anyway, if you haven’t heard the various times that jieun has spoke about this song and it’s conveyance, i encourage you to. the music video also gives a beautiful visual.
i wrote a small analysis of this when it came out so i’ll just put it here 
burn it - agust d ft max
I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage
of course this can absolutely be taken at a literal meaning especially considering he said a similar iteration of this to someone on kkul fm BUT i also like looking at it in context of the entire song because maybe this is him trying to convince himself too, especially considering the wording of the last chorus doesn’t change it so it implies in order to get past the fire u need to let it burn first? burn it = giving up on some aspect of pain?
i see why max didn’t shut up for eight months about making this song i wouldn’t either hello
outro: tear - bts
im including this one firstly because i love the song but secondly to say i knew the second u all were surprised by yoongi saying he wrote this as essentially a break up song for bts and they all cried while listening to it that y’all don’t actually read or interact w their lyrics fjdklafjsd
just bc it’s a rap song doesn’t mean it’s a diss or a flex. weirdos.
intro: never mind - bts
I hope you forget about all your mistakes and such; Never mind; It’s not easy, but engrave this in your heart; If you think you’re going to crash, accelerate more, you idiot; Never mind, never mind; Whatever thorny path it may be, go run; Never mind, never mind; There are a lot of things that you can’t control
the entire composition of nevermind is similar to first love and shadow to me where you can just hear the emotion in his voice while performing it
this is also another general idea that he mentions a few different times through different songs which as we’ve seen i am <3 for
intro: the most beautiful moment in life - bts
once again i don’t have a specific lyric to pull i just love this song so much and i feel like it isn’t talked about enough because first of all the use of the basketball throughout the instrumental, the incorporation of the origin of his stage name into an entire song regarding his general existence as a performer and coming into the beginnings of sizeable fame, and just his general way of essentially writing one giant ode to something he loves and analogizing it to something else he loves to talk through internal struggles.
aka im once again saying min yoongi you’re so cool
first love - bts
same line of awe from above this whole song is just a story, a poem, a journal entry, a beautiful confession, i don’t know. this is yoongi’s best bts solo u can argue with a wall about it also if you were able to see this live i hope u have a terrible week (im joking)
every fancam i’ve ever seen of this makes me cry. so. do with that what you will in regards to how i feel about this song.
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creacherkeeper · 3 years
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AAAAA SAME ANON AND I LOVE UR THOUGHTS ON THIS AU SO MUCH!!!! hskdhdkdbd PLEASE ignore this if u don’t want to talk about this au of course, but honestly i only have more !!!!! about it with every piece of info. like the line about fabian and riz’s jaeger being “unstoppable. almost.” and about how adaine joins the fray specifically bc they’re down and adaine and aelwyn are the only ppl who can fill in their place right now. also how kristen is drift compatible with everyone im!!
NO NO NO IM SO HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!! like pacific rim really blessed us by not only being an AMAZING movie but also the best au fodder of all time??? god pacific rim au my beloved <3
some additional stuff because i cant stop:
i think ayda and adaine are totally drift compatible, but never tested together, as ayda only joined the program to pilot with fig
penelope, dayne, and ragh actually triple piloted until fig signed up. everyone thought it was better to separate penelope and dayne because they were ... not always team players when together. but after it came out everything that had been happening between dayne and ragh, that decision was heavily regretted. ragh got ... a lot of counseling after dayne was kicked out. when he was moved to combat trainer, he got a lot happier and became good friends with tracker, who'd been on base long enough to see everything go down
ayda and aelwyn actually knew each other in undergrad. aelwyn became friends with her mostly for strategic purposes, because she was the daughter of the head of the jaeger program and aelwyn wanted to build jaegers. ayda became friends with her because they were both the youngest in the STEM program and she was desperate for someone she could relate to, at least a little. they got along okay but didn't really keep in touch after graduation. they didn't start getting closer until aelwyn became a pilot, because then they COULD actually relate to each other, as scientists-turned-fighters
ayda still found out she was autistic through jawbone, once she finished school and came to base to study kaiju. she opened up to him about how hard it was to relate to her peers, and he was like kiddo youre probably autistic?? like over half of the scientists here are?? and she was like. OH. after everythings over and fig goes back to being a musician, she donates a lot of her touring profits to autistic-led advocacy groups because like. she's literally felt what it's like to live with an autistic brain, and it makes her the biggest ally of all time (and ayda being a very prominent autistic scientist AND pilot actually does like. SO MUCH for autism acceptance. she frequently gives lectures on fig's touring routes)
after they close the breach, fabian gets into a huge blowout fight with bill. cause bill makes his money by selling kaiju parts, so without the kaiju, he doesn't have a job. and by that point fabian has had enough distance and experience that he's like. i would have died for you but i fucking made a name for myself that was better than anything you've ever tried to do, now i get to live for me. and even though he wasn't expecting it, bill actually completely accepts and supports that
yeah so pok actually died cause he got eaten by a kaiju after drifting with one using the pons system he invented. its extremely difficult to hear but riz is also like. that is the most badass thing ive ever fucking heard oh my god (they name the neuroscience program at riz's college after pok. sklonda starts law school there the year after they close the breach)
kristen literally proposes to tracker the day after they close it, barely conscious, with a giant hole in her chest, from her hospital bed. everyone is like. my dude. tracker thinks its extremely romantic
(they end up adopting a bunch of kids who were orphaned because of kaiju attacks)
gorgug goes to college and becomes a high school social studies teacher. zelda runs a local gym. they have an extremely quiet life and are happy to, most of the time, not be noticed or bothered. every once in a while an extremely nerdy kid will recognize gorgug's PARENTS as jaeger mechanics and completely ignore gorgug and zelda thinks its hilarious
after they close the breach, the abernant parents reach out to BOTH aelwyn and adaine to ask them to come back home to visit and be celebrated. and theyre like. mmmm fuck that actually?? but adaine does have a BIT of an existential crisis cause shes like OKAY WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH MY LIFE NOW?? they actually end up getting a little apartment together somewhere and aelwyn pays the bills as an engineer making advanced prosthetics. she encourages adaine to just try out as much as possible, and she takes a ton of classes at the community college, the community center, and at various local businesses. but its actually jawbone who inspires her to go back for another degree and become a psych researcher. she makes waves in the trauma and ptsd field
theyre all pretty happy that kalvaxis, category iv, and nightmare, category v, got blown to hell at the bottom of the ocean
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ghoestys · 3 years
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i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn 
statistics
full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n)  age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!
prompt + blackmail
a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.
TW DRUGS!  1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems
about 
family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr
so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!
growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin. 
i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit. 
anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH! 
bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff! 
she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea. 
i mean. she was burnt out  but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more 
anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit. 
college/the elites
after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??
her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.
anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed
she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!
which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her. 
idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again
when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something 
idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god 
when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs
suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on
got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to  them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves 
personality 
personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic 
literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion 
shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really  dont honestly
i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it 
not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems
when it comes to conversations about  nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk 
doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :) 
she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints  come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do 
u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass
most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :) 
probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way
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cloudyfm · 3 years
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ok yes i’m here with lilia’s info ur resident demon have fun pals<3
family background - yes this is copy pasted myob<3
ya’ll ever read one of those drug ring ao3 fanfics where y/n is dating the sexy drug cartel leader? well that’s their family!
generational family blood money because that’s how cartels work i think. started running + dealing three generations back with their great-grandparents in order for them to make a living. it wasn’t until the so-called business was handed down to their grandparents that they wanted to expand and generate more money. the big pharma cover was created in order for them to manufacture, distribute, and supply at a larger scale. present day, their family name has notoriety with other cartel and mafia families.
basically avery was supposed to take over because he was the oldest right, but lilia did not want that at all. their parents started favoring avery and schmoozing up to him a little bit to get him to say yes (even though avery was fully prepared to give lilia the position) and lilia was like! what the fuck! so she told their parents about this one time that avery accidentally blabbed the family secret to a stranger at a party which broke their one rule of keeping it a secret. their parents wanted nothing to do with him anymore and completely cut avery off and kicked him out of the family.
everyone knows that avery and lilia are siblings, even though they don’t really know the actual details about their past together because avery doesn’t say anything about his family and the cartel is a secret. now that they are both at yale and in the elites together they are just kinda like haha awkward <3 they basically would just tell everyone that they grew apart if other characters tried to pry but also lilia is now telling people that avery fucked up a business decision which is why he left the family and avery is like alright but good luck trying to get other info out of them! xo, the jeongs
personal background
a legacy and a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-one and a junior undergrad student majoring in pharmacology. they are as zealous as they are vain.
blackmails: and yes ik we only needed 2 i got pressed and stubborn (drugs tw):
blackmailing vanity fair to keep them from speaking negatively about her and her family by dealing to their reporters. she’s more so doing this to protect herself and her brother than her parents.
is aware of annie and violet’s work arrangements with her family’s drug business. she refuses to involve herself by mentioning that the family they work for is hers and is currently turning a blind eye to the questionable tasks that are asked of them.
purposely sent an ex boyfriend to prison when she was 18 due to her being tired of being in a consistently toxic relationship. she set him up to be found with various bags of illicit drugs (of which were owned by her family) and framed him with possession with intent to distribute and supply to garner a felony charge as an adult.
ok moving to present day stuff<3
ever since avery left the family, her parents have basically put immense pressure on her to fill his spot - the spot she wanted, and since her loyalty is with them and herself, she accepted it and did whatever had to be done. she was 16 when it became her job to take over, so whatever parts of her childhood she had left kind of just left when they began to prime her.
at 18, her mom finally revealed to her that avery had the intentions to give her control of the family when she came of age - something that she didn’t know until 2 years after she fucked up ! her guilt eats her alive to this day, but rather than mending her relationship with him personally, she sends him money anonymously through shorting her parents. 
she actually loves being in the elites ... it gives her such a sense of importance whether or not she is considered a legacy. was kind of excited to join actually and frankly that bit her in the ass with the blackmailer out here but its fine.
her college years have frankly been quiet like .. she’s studious to the point she needs to be but she really is not a partier, doesn’t do drugs because she’s seen first hand the shit that her parents are involved in, and barely drinks. when she does she literally doesn’t know how to handle it and fears losing control. literally if you wanna manipulate her this is how u do it lmao.
this is mentioned in the personality section but yes she is in the classics book club at yale ... she loves her classics</3
she’s actually easy to get along with ok just don’t cross her i promise my god im going to lose it
i don’t know im blanking so bad and this is alrdy almost 1500 words i cant do this anymore. UGHGHH more of her personal stuff is in the personality section im heaving
personality
ridiculously cut throat and has no issues stepping on people to get to where she needs to be. like if it came down to saving herself or saving someone else who she doesn’t have a close connection to? she will always pick herself. 
makes a game out of other people one - upping her<3 if she knows she can win, and sometimes even when she can’t, she will purposely cause a problem just to see them fall and grow her own ego.
also will start problems casually and then just sit back and watch them unfold while drinking wine out a mug.
literally ... and i mean literally obsessed with being perceived as beautiful and pretty. she’s so mf vain that it’s actually a problem, and i can promise you if you call her ugly miss girl will cry. this mostly has to do with her self esteem issues and the pressure put onto her by her parents after avery left. yes she did this to herself dni.
loyal only to those who she cares about otherwise they can frankly rot<3 and there are times where she will break that loyalty if it benefits her.
ik this may not be believable but she actually is extremely insecure and anxious deep down lmao like she has such an obsession with proving that she’s the best to her peers and her family that it flat out consumes her consistently. this is what causes her to act out most of the time and if someone was to become close to her it would be plainly evident. yes - she can be soft.
has an overt persona of positivity and carries herself as someone who doesn’t have negative intentions and sometimes makes it hard to believe that she’s actually capable of doing the things that people accuse her of.
yes she is calculating and manipulative and miss girly will look for faults only to make them worse.
she literally wasn’t always like this but when her and avery’s relationship started to fracture, she kind of let her own selfishness consume her.
she plays stupid a lot KLNDFKNDLKFSD  will pretend to be interested in random men in her classes so they will baby her and do shit for her that she could have easily done herself. it’s not that she’s lazy but she’s only studying pharma because of her family. she has an obsession with classical lit and would have rather majored in that if given the chance. 
has a fear of emotional intimacy </3 went through a really toxic relationship from the ages of 16-18 that was basically more done to bring her family and another together for a business deal and it just ... did not end well for her and basically she was treated like shit. literally the only way she could get out of it was to frame him and then bribe people to make sure the felony charge wasn’t dropped. her family doesn’t know she did this so<33333 
statistics
full name: lilia iris jung.
nicknames: lili or lia.
age: 21.
date of birth: august 02, 1999.
siblings: avery ( older brother ).
birthplace: new york city, new york, united states.
current location: new haven, connecticut, united states.
astrological sign: leo sun / capricorn moon / virgo rising.
gender: cis female.
pronouns: she / her / hers.
height: 5′1″.
sexuality: bisexual.
religion: atheist.
piercings: double lobe on her right ear, triple lobe on her left ear, tragus on her right ear, and a helix on both her left and right and ears.
tattoos: this on her inner, right bicep, and this behind her left ear.
haircolor: brunette.
literally for wanted connections i want 2 things: (1) someone to rock her shit bc that is deserved, and (2) idk she’s wearing a mask like 80% of the time so someone who she is close enough to actual b real with :\ if this doesn’t make sense myob im taking a nap
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jaemtens · 4 years
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I agree on cancel dispatch. Or those whiny fans could just cancel themselves from the fandom if they just dun even wanna research or wait for more info. Jumping to conclusions and acting like whiny victim plus bashing the still stanning fans is just immature. It does not show superiority tho. Right?
yeah the lack of awareness of how the situation is vastly different in korea is kinda jarring considering all these fans were likely enjoying all of the content that was being produced and released during the past few months
Anonymous said:
My sister is teaching in SK right now and has been able to safely go out to restaurants (in Itaewon and elsewhere) with her coworkers for some time. There's no reason idols shouldn't be able to do the same.
one of my friends from undergrad is also a teacher in korea right now, and she has been posting on instagram about going to restaurants and going shopping... by the logic of these so-called fans, i should be calling her out for following the guidance of the south korean government??? wtf.
@je0nghans said:
bruh the fact that this bs news dropped right when they revealed the creator of the nth room makes me feel sick
yah that’s really suspicious!! idk if we can just write it off as a coincidence considering that this restaurant outing supposedly happened several days ago
anonymous said:
literally wtf lmao why does mingyu need to be "canceled" over going out when hes allowed to by the government... because of the declining cases. im sorry maybe its bc i live in florida and everyone here is stupid and goes out even though our cases are growing like crazy but like... i dont see a problem big enough to cancel anyone over here
yup. the situation in korea is vastly different than the situation in europe and in the americas. and people here are going out all the time! like i said earlier, i can’t believe this is a scandal because they did nothing scandalous...
anonymous said:
Fans try to cancel idols for dating, getting married, going outside and hanging with friends. Basically, y’all don’t want idols doing anything huh
yeah this is a larger issue where it seems like people like to infantilize grown men. all of them are 97 liners, which makes them 22-23 (intl age). like i’m not going to argue that 22-23 year old dudes are infallible of course, but i think that they are smart enough to weigh the risks of their action and make a decision about whether they’d like to go out with their friends or not?? ditto with older idols dating, getting married, etc. please... just let them live their lives and enjoy their interactions with fans. they are two separate things. you do not need to police their personal lives.
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archiefm · 5 years
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         ... claws my way up from hell once more and vomits onto the dash.... hello. its nora. i used to write rory bergstrom, but if u were here before that u might remember me as greta or alma putnam or..... som1 else.... an endless carousel of trash children..... this is finn, who i actually wrote for an early version of this rp abt 5yrs back now...... grits teeth..... so forgive me if im rusty i havent written him in a long time but seein honey boy gave me a lotta finn muse n im keen to get Back On The Horse yeehaww...
DYLAN O’BRIEN / CIS-MALE — don’t look now, but is that finn o’callaghan i see? the 25 year old criminology and forensic studies student is in their graduate year of study year and he is a rochester alum. i hear they can be judicious, adroit, morose and cynical, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet he will make a name for themselves living off-campus. ( nora. 24. gmt. she/her )
shakes my tin can a humble pinterest, ma’am....
finn has a bio pasted at the bottom (n written in like.... 2015.... gross) but it’s long  so if u don’t wanna read it here’s the sparknotes summary..... anyway this was written years ago n a lot of it seems really cliche and lame now but..... we accept the trash we think we deserve
grumpy, ugly sweater wearing, tech-savvy grandpa
very dry sense of humour and embraces nihilism. 
if ron swanson and april ludgate had a baby it would be finn
he was raised in derry, just south of dublin.
from a big family. elder sister called sinead. he also has a younger sister (aoife), a younger brother (colm), and a collie named lassie because his father lovs cliches (finn hates cliches but loves his dog). 
his father was a pub landlord and his mother worked at the market sellin fruit n veg when they met but got a job as a medical receptionist when she had kids cos it meant she cld be there with them in the day and work nights.
his parents met when they were p young and fiesty and rushed into marriage cos they were catholic n just wanted to have sex. his family were literally dirt-poor, but they had a lot of love i guess
hmmmmm his relationship w his father wasn’t the best cos i can’t write character who have healthy relationships w their parents throws up a peace sign. yh, had a pretty emotionally distant, alcoholic violent father n so gets a lot of his bad habits i.e. drinking as a coping mechanism and poor anger management from him BUT anyway
as a kid he was never very motivated in class, he always had a nervous itch to be off somewhere doing something else. struggled under government austerity bcso there just wasn’t the resources to support low income families where the kids had learning difficulties n needed support. fuck the tories am i right 
his mum suggested he try sports to help w his restless energy but he was never any good at football so he took up boxing and tap dance instead. he took to tap dancing like a fish to fuckin water. as adhd n found this as a really good way to use his excess energy in a creative way
had a few run ins with the police in his early teens for spray painting and graffiti, but he straightened himself out n now actually considering becoming a detective inspector??? cops are pigs.
he had a youtube channel where he posted videos of him tapdancing and breakdancing as a kid, basically would be a tiktok boy nowadays, n had like... a small fanbase in his early teens. attended several open auditions unsuccessfully, until he was finally cast in billy eliot when he was fifteen.
during billy eliot he began dating an italian dancer called nina. they became dance partners soon after and toured across the republic with various different shows (inc riverdance lol the classic irish stereotype). their relationship was p toxic tbh, they were both very hot tempered people and just used to argue and fight all the time.
he went semi-pro at tap dancing, and nina couldn’t stand being second best so she moved back to italy with her family. ignored his texts, phone calls, etc, eventually he was driven to the point where he used his savings to buy a plane ticket, showed up at her house and she was like wtf?? freaked out and filed a restraining order accusing him of stalking.
he was fined for harassment and then returned home to derry, but after the incident with nina he quit dancing for good and finished his leaving cert before heading to university in the US to get as far away from nina and his past life as poss. and basically since he quit dancing to study forensics (death kink. finn cant get enough of that morgue. just walks around sayin beat u) he’s become a massive grump and jsut doesn’t see the good in people any more.
u’ll find finn in an old man bar drinking whiskey bc he is in fact an old man at heart or sat on his roof smoking a joint, drawing wolves and lions and skeletons and shit, playing call of duty or getting blazed or at the corner of the room in a house party ignoring everyone and scrolling through twitter. is a massive e-boy. always up-to-date on memes and internet slang. has reddit as an app on his phone
not very good at communication. rather than solve his issues by talking, he’d prefer to just solve them through fighting or running away from his problems hence why he has come halfway across the world to get away from an issue which probs cld have been solved w a few apology emails.
takes a lot to phase him, but when his beserk button gets pressed he can become a bit pugnacious like an angry lil rottweiler. in his undergrad he was in a few fist fights but doesn’t really do tht any more as he doesn’t condone violence.
 in the previous version of this rp he was hospitalised like 5 times. pls, give my son a break. stop tryin to kill him. he literaly got a bottle smashed over his head and bled out all over his favourite angora rug that was the only light of his life
works at the campus coffee shop n always whines about how he’s a slave to capitalism. always smells of coffee
lives off campus with an elderly woman named Marianne, and basically gets reduced rent bcos he makes her dinner / keeps her company. they have a great bond
fan of karl marx. v big on socialism
insomniac with chronic nosebleeds
cynical about everything. too much of a fight club character 4 his own good n has his head up tyler durden’s sphincter
always confused or annoyed
statistics
basic information
full name: finnegan seamus o'callaghan nickname(s): finn age: 25 astrological sign: aries hometown: derry, ireland occupation: phd student / former street entertainer fatal flaw: cynicism positives: self-reliant, street smart, relaxed, intelligent, spontaneous, brave, independent, reliable, trustworthy, loyal. negatives: hostile, impulsive, stubborn, brooding, pugnacious, untrusting, cynical, enigmatic, reserved.
physical
colouring: medium hair colour: dark brown, almost black eye colour: brown height: 5’9” weight: 69kg build: tall, athletic voice: subtle irish accent, low, smooth. dominant hand: left scar(s): one on the left side of his ribs from a knife wound that he doesn’t remember getting cos he was drunk distinguishing marks: freckles, tattoo of a wolf howling at a moon allergies: pollen and the full spectrum of human emotion alcohol tolerance: high drunken behaviour: he becomes friendlier, far more conversational than when sober, flirtier, and generally more self-confident.
psychological
dreams/goals: self-fulfilment, travel the globe, experience life in its most alive and technicoloured version, make documentary films, help the vulnerable in society, grow as a human being.
skills: jack-of-all-trades, very fast runner, good at thieving things, talented tap dancer, good in crisis situations, dab-hand at mechanics, musically-intelligent, can throw a mean right hook and very capable of defending himself, can roll a cigarette, memorises quotes and passages of literature with ease, can light a match with his teeth.
likes: the smell of the earth after rain, poetry, cigarettes, shakespeare, whiskey, tattoos, travelling, ac/dc, deep conversations, leather jackets, open spaces, the smell of petrol, early noughties ‘emo phase’ anthems.
dislikes:  the government, parties, rules, donald trump, children, apple products, weddings, people in general, small talk, dependency, loneliness, pop music, public transport, justin timberlake, uncertainty.fears: fear itself, drowning alignment: true neutral mbti: istp – “while their mechanical tendencies can make them appear simple at a glance, istps are actually quite enigmatic. friendly but very private, calm but suddenly spontaneous, extremely curious but unable to stay focused on formal studies, istp personalities can be a challenge to predict, even by their friends and loved ones. istps can seem very loyal and steady for a while, but they tend to build up a store of impulsive energy that explodes without warning, taking their interests in bold new directions.” (via 16personalities.com)
full bio (lame as fuck written years ago..... pleathe...)
tw homophobia
born in quigley’s pub on the backstreets of sunny dublin, young finnegan o'callaghan was thrown kicking and screaming into the rowdy suburbs of irish drinking culture. the son of a landlord and a fishwife, he never had much in the way of earnings, but there was never a dull moment in his lively estate, where asbo’s thrived, but community spirit conquered. at school, finn was pegged as lazy and unmotivated, though truly his dyslexia made it hard for the boy to learn in the same environment of his peers and only made him more closed-off in class. struggling with anger management, finn moved from school to school, unable to fit the cookie-cutter mould that school enforced on him, though whilst academic studies were of little interest to the boy, he soon found his true passions lay in recreational activities. immersed into the joys of sport from as young as four, finn was an ardent munster fan and anticipated nothing more than the day he could finally fit into his brother’s old pair of rugby boots.
his calling finally came unexpectedly, not in the form of rugger, but through dance. to learn to express himself in a non-academic way, he began tap dancing, finding therapy in the beat of his soles against the cracked kitchen tiles (much to his mother’s disgrace). it wasn’t a conscious choice, finn just realised one day that dance was something that made him feel. a king of the streets, finn made his fortune on those cobbled pavements – dancing and drawing to earn his keep. by default, finn became a street artist, each penny he earned from his chalk drawings saved in a jam jar towards buying his first pair of tap shoes. though many of his less-than-amiable neighbours called him a nancy and a gaybo, finn refused to quit at his somewhat ‘unconventional’ hobby, for the young scrapper found energy, life, and released anger through the rhythm of tap. soon he branched out into street dance, hip hop, break dancing, lyrical, his days spent smacking his scuffed feet against the broken patio into the night.
when he was thirteen he took up boxing, and as expected, his newfound ‘macho’ pastime conflicted with his dancing. the boxers called him ‘soft’; the dancers called him ‘inelegant’. he felt like two different people; having to choose between interests was like being handed a knife and asked to which half of himself he wished to cut away. he couldn’t afford professional training in dance, with most schools based in england and limited scholarships available. instead, he made the street his studio, racking up a small fanbase on youtube. when he was fifteen he made his debut in billy eliot at the olympia theatre in dublin. enter nina de souza, talented, beautiful and italian; ballet dancer, operatic singer, genius whiz kid, and spoiled brat. she was selfish, conceited, hell bent on getting her own way, and every director’s nightmare. finn fell for her like a house of cards. he’d always had a soft spot for girls who meant trouble. and so their hellish courtship began.
by the time they were seventeen, the two young swans had danced in every playhouse across the republic. they were known in theatres across the country for their tempestuous personalities, their raging arguments with one another, their tendency to drop out of shows altogether without any notice, yet the money kept rolling in and the audiences continued to grow. for three years, their families continued to put up with their hysterical fights followed by passionate reconciliations. he was too possessive, and she was too wild. their carcrash of a relationship finally came to a catastrophic halt when nina broke off the whole affair and returned to italy with her family. for months finn tried to contact her, yet his phone calls, texts, facebook messages were always ignored, until finally he was driven to drastic measures and used his savings to get a plane to her home town. when finn turned up uninvited at nina’s house she freaked out – and rightly so – she contacted her agent, accused him of stalking her, and had a restraining order placed against him. finn was arrested, held in a station overnight, and charged with harassment before he was allowed to return to dublin.
after the incident with nina, finn lost the fight in his eyes. he became far more hostile, far less likely to retaliate with his own fists, and picked fights not for the thrill of feeling his own fists pummel another into a wall, but for the sensation of his own brittle bones cracking. he dropped his tap shoes in a dumpster, stopped talking to his friends, followed his father’s advice and went back to school to complete his leaving certificate. a few short months later, and finn was packing his bags, saying his bittersweet goodbyes, and travelling half-way across the globe to be as far away as possible from his past self, his mess of a life, and most of all nina. it seemed somehow ironic that the boy who had been cautioned by the garda so much during his youth for spray painting, busking without a liscence, and raucous parties would become the grumpy, aloof overseas student studying a degree in criminology; that his once reckless spirit could be crushed so easily. 
of all things that finn could be called, straightforward would never be one of them. ever since his first days in atticus, the boy was pegged as hostile, hot-headed, cynical, rude. he seemed to spend more time in his thoughts than engaging in conversation. like a ticking time-bomb, finn’s anger was of the calm kind, liable to explode without a moment’s noticed. his unpredictable personality make him something of an enigma to those who aren’t amiable with the lad, though hostile as he may appear, he harvests a good heart. loyalty lies at the centre of his affections, and whilst his friends are few in number, he makes a lifelong partner. somewhere within finn, there’s still some fight left, but mostly he has recognised that his hedonistic lifestyle did little to leave him fulfilled – mostly, it just emptied him out – and over his three years at university has resigned himself to a nihilistic predicament.
        if u wanna plot with me pls pls pls im me or like this post!! i am always game for plots i love em so excited to write with you all here r some ideas
study buddies. finn is now a phd student so has to start takin shit seriously. he gon be in the library every day doing that independent study. if he had ppl who were also regular library goers n they get each other coffees to save time.... tht wld be sweet
ppl who love techno dj sets and going super hard on the weekends!!! fuck yea
friends with benefits. exes on bad terms. ppl he tried to date but couldnt because he’s always emotionally hung up on someone else. spicy hook up plots
ppl he met touring?? maybe ppl who were also in the entertainment industry..... anyone got a character who is ex circus hit me up
does anyone else study criminology / forensics / criminal psych / law? phd students sometimes lecture so he cld be an assistant lecturer / tutor if ur character is in a younger year
gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!
finn goes to the skatepark and all the young boys there think he’s a gradnpa which he is! 
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cassyblue · 4 years
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I’m just so tired of not having money and always being short for rent. I’ve had such a rough past week that I am behind even more on commissions (I’m so sorry) and I spent money I shouldn’t have on food. Good news, I’m going to the rent assistance place but bad news my meeting is on Thursday and rent is due Saturday. And they scolded me for not using the food bank which is frustrating because everyone is like go to the food bank if you need food!!! But I have food!!! I just don’t have energy to make food!!! Like for two weeks of January I ate raw ramen because I was too tired/depressed to cook. I got myself signed up for intake at a sliding scale therapy clinic today too. But i’m so exhausted. I’m trying to survive and its hard. I wouldn’t be in as bad of shape as I am if I hadn’t had to borrow money from my parents last month to pay rent. I started going back to dance because its good for my mental health but I can’t afford it. I’m taking some of my costumes on Wednesday to see if anyone would buy them because let’s be honest I’m not good enough to dance by myself in restaurants and some of these costumes haven’t been used for a year bc they’re not things you wear to class or to dance with a troupe.  
I have six days to prevent myself from getting dinged with rent late fees or being evicted and homeless. 
And I’m really tired that my parents keep calling my two part time jobs not real jobs because they aren’t full time. I fucking work hard. I fucking work until I physically and mentally fall apart. And yet I’m just so fucked because I hit a parked car in 2018 and couldn’t use my insurance because I was on my parent’s and they freaked out and wouldn’t let me file a claim because it might make their premium go up. So I literally have had a maxed out credit card for a year and half that I have been struggling to pay off and taken out student loans to pay rent. Live within my means they keep telling me but I have no means and sometimes I just fucking want something nice like a coffee. I sold half of my lolita stuff which I had bought when I had a full time job for the summer just so I could pay my bills. I would sell my camera but I would literally not be able to afford a new one for another five years if I did and it’s a tool. 
I might have to move back home with my parents sooner rather than later and I really don’t want to because my mother and I fight whenever I am home. Like our fighting has gotten to the point that my dad has threatened to disown me because I’m the agitator even though its shit that my mom did that I’m upset about. She can’t possibly ever be the bad guy because she was a victim of abuse in her mind. Even though she literally screamed and blamed my sister and I for issues in her marriage when we were in high school and said it would be our fault if she divorced our dad and then left and we didn’t know if she was going to come back and it was so traumatic that I still get upset about it. My parents had a lot of screaming fights when I grew up and stupid shit like slamming cabinet doors trigger me. Like I literally loose it because there’s no fucking way to rationally and calmly talk about shit that’s happened without her loosing it first and it’s not healthy for either of us. My mom’s been upset with me for years about just loosing it. I had a breakdown in undergrad and I don’t fucking remember it all because it was a blur but I basically told her she was a bad parent because of the way she held things over my head and shit’s been tense ever since. It’s not a good excuse for my behavior because yelling and screaming never solves anything. I have such a hard time not loosing it around them because they do things. Like the summer I lived at home before I moved away was hellish because I was so anxious all the time I was going to loose it again and I wasn’t out and I was terrified of what they’d do if they found out. And its frustrating because like she’ll be like oh ill talk to you about stuff and im not ignoring you and then we never do. And she doesn’t like it when I don’t want to talk about things or dont want to explain it. And I honestly can’t live at home because they don’t even fucking try with pronouns. Asked one fucking time and just didn’t try and I don’t correct them because it’ll just turn into another fucking fight. Like I literally do not say anything because I will loose it and get kicked out of the house. My dad was going to kick me out and drive me back to the airport the last time I was home but didn’t ultimately because it was Christmas Eve. Like I literally had my bags packed and ready to go. It all started because I said I was going to go spend the weekend with a friend (who for years my mom has accused me of treating better and loving more than her which is fucking ridiculous) and my mom got all upset and I was like why yes, I didn’t want to visit because this always happens and then it fucking spiraled into a fight. 
And I have been a mess since I found out that the man who scooped my research and fucking sexually harassed me won the most prestigious award at my undergrad university. Like I haven’t slept more than 4 hours for the past three days because I have been so upset and angry and mad. I never reported him because I was scared of loosing both my jobs since the big boss was the same for both even though they were in two different sections of the department. And I fucking should have even if it backfired on me and fucked me over for the rest of my academic career. I almost wrote a long letter to my adviser thanking her for being so good to me but I didn’t because I was too embarrassed because I dont really want her to know about things that happened in the past I can’t change. It was hard enough telling her I have depression. 
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ttaohuan · 6 years
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good morning (it’s probably gonna be like 1am by the time i finish writing this) tbh i’m known around uni & to my friends as being late for everything so why did i expect this to be any different???
hi, i’m alex!! i’m 20, i suck at intros but i’ll give this a good go! i’m going into my third year of creative writing in september so everything we do here is actually great practice; thx for letting me & my son interact with y’all <3 
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( CAI XUKUN / CISMALE / HE/HIM ). [ TAO HUAN ] is a [ TWENTY-THREE ] year old [ UNDERGRAD ] student studying [ VOCAL PERFORMANCE ]. they are known for being [ HARDWORKING & CONFIDENT ], but also being [ UNTRUSTWORTHY & TEMPERAMENTAL ]. if there was a song that described their life, it would be [ GIVE YOURSELF A TRY BY THE 1975 ]. ( ooc: ALEX / 20 / BST / HE/HIM )
first things first!
he’s a newish idol (singer) muse that i made to replace another boy i had no muse for, so i’m still kind of figuring him out tbh, bear with me
early life!
born in chengdu, china, but his mother moved them to new orleans when he was three
we can skip past the typical cute good upbringing; he was a happy kid, never really knew his mom was struggling @ Life until he was older
also probably a theatre kid when he was at school; always that annoying asshole that always got the lead in school musicals & hardcore gifted & talented
career!
he’s a member of 7-member boy group cherry (3 years) and 10-member co-ed group trap (1 year)
unlike most of his members, he wasn’t scouted on the street. actually, huan waited and auditioned for two different companies while they were doing int. auditions when he was 13 and 15, but despite getting through both times his mother never let him go to korea to pursue it 
it took him another year of begging for her to let him do it tbh so she pulled her savings and put him on a plane and uhhh as they say the rest is history!
jk, he got through, everything is good, he debuted at 20 after 4 years of intense training 
his boy group has super cute concepts though and as much fun as he’s having, it really isn’t huan’s style. he’s out there on stage wearing cute ass pastel outfits and blowing kisses into crowds but he’d rather harmonise about sucking dick on 3 different tracks
tbh that’s why trap kind of exists? everyone in trap is a member of other groups or a soloist usually known for being cute, but their concepts are hella dark & mature
both groups are currently on an extended hiatus because of individual projects; acting, comebacks, etc
beaumont!
originally, huan was supposed to take online classes in a different subject but bc he’s so free atm, he’s decided he’s good to physically attend school for a while. his management might pull some strings and get it switched to an online degree if anything in his life changes, but for now... he’s here! uwu
he studies vocal performance because he lowkey misses the intense vocal training from when he was a trainee & also bc it ensures he practices while being away from his groups
also kinda why he dances & he’s a part of the music society too. music is basically his entire life, he doesn’t know a world outside of it
hmmm... actually fills up on a lot of extracurriculars bc he’s very VERY LOWKEY scared ab the future of his career even tho he’s...doing very well
BUT IM HERE ACTING LIKE HE’S AN ANGEL LOL!
bottom line is no one at school has fuckin heard of cherry or trap or even know his name and face so he’s pretty much free to do whatever he wants. he’s all nicey nicey with his fans & friends but he can be pretty cold & reliant on his money & his looks to have a good time/make new friends
like, he doesn’t really take anything and anyone seriously. he knows he’s gonna be out of here in a few years time (tbh maybe even less bc conflicting schedules) so he’s not worried about repercussions
hence being the president of kappa theta, and he’s fucking good at it
the only time he’ll be soft is on new brothers or those going through hazing, but it’s on the down low because he’s generally pretty unapproachable since he keeps to himself and he thinks it’ll ruin kappa theta’s overall image if he allows himself to be 100% soft w everyone
but he throws the best fuckin parties! no one’s been to a shit tao huan party, gn
connections!
SOMEONE HE’S SOFT WITH even tho i said he’s not soft bc im... gay and i want fluff
i 100% believe he’s fucked someone & then fucked them over, either bc schedules in the past, or recently at school bc he don’t...give a shit ab anything
maybe some of his group members oops????
roommate? they hate how huan always leaves his clothes & towels & instruments literally everywhere. one time they found his aftershave & toothbrush & one (1) shoe in their bag. how? nobody knows. certainly not huan
actually going back to that kind-of-ex plot; he’s been all over the world but w focuses on america, china, japan & korea so if u want an angsty ex-bf or ex-friend plot hit me up bc huan is perfect for those
probably has one set group of people (apart from his bros!) that he goes to for parties n shit. probably ditches every time they’re out & they find him again at the end of the night. he’s like a fuckin dust bunny he’s cruisin everywhere & u lose him sometimes but not to worry...he still there
u already know to hit me up if there’s anything angsty..yum
he’s a good older bro tbh even tho he’s an only child so uhhh some ppl he always kinda looks out for even tho he doesn’t know why?
SOMEONE HE DOESN’T REALLY LIKE BUT LOOKS OUT FOR ANYWAY????? WHATS HE SO PROTECTIVE FOR???
someone who actually does know him as a musician.. whether they like him or not. a fan? cool. someone who’s not rlly a fan? cool again
honestly i haven’t been in a decent group rp for a hot minute & i already see some ppl i know from past rps in here so i know we’re gonna have a good time; just hit me up with whatever u want & we’ll work on it! uwu
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juunshua · 3 years
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omg shine yes ur tags!!! i can sleep like 15 hours a night and still won't be feeling alive in the morning. I'm really not a morning person, it's never because I didn't sleep enough, it's always because it's just NOT my thing. best thing about the quarantine was the increase in remote jobs, especially because most of them are flexible with working hours
(even though I do miss going to the workplace because I don't have enough discipline to work from home and do a good job on it lmfao i need to have a clear separation between work and personal orz)
yeah exactly!!! and omg im glad quarantine was able to bring that sort of flexibility to your schedule;; but ldkjLSDKF i feel that too omgg i feel like its partially bc of the way i did undergrad (id leave the house early and come late enough where i just wanted to crash as soon as i did so i would literally do ALL my work in school like during lunch, bw classes, before classes began, on the bus so i could come home and do nothing!!) so now when im /at/ home that just means brain off cant do anythign ldkjf im lucky that im in a wetlab when it comes to that aspect we really couldnt 'work from home' for too long;;
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