#bc i'm a dumbass lmfaooo

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT with a reader who would literally get into a fist fight for them?? Literally, if someone even looks at them wrong reader will throw hands. It's literally that meme (Random person) "GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH" (MCYT) "it don't bite" "YES IT FUCKIN DO-" I'm sorry I'm feeling silly 😔

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS PROMPT AND THE REFERENCE TO THIS MEME LMFAOOO OH MY LORD BSHWJRHEJJAJW ; very vine oriented so I apologize. you threw me into a loop referencing that

MCYT ; "anytime, anywhere, I'd beat a bitches ass for you"

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, slimecicle, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, talk of blood/injuries, physical fighting, vine cringe because I got very carried away and you can tell

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he was one of those kids in high school that made light offensive jokes but would never fight anyone over anything, he's not a violent person at all other than in his jokes

but God forbid some random person look at you two weird in public, you're on their ass

you're more offended that they were judging Tommy at all, you couldn't care that they were judging you

"sorry, do you have a problem?" You squint your eyes at the person, "me and my boyfriend are just trying to shop and you keep following us around and staring, like, can I help you?"

just a teenage Karen

yall do take it outside when the motherfucker follows you out and begins to record you

you beat this fuckers ass to a PULP

Tommy's just holding the few bags of stuff you'd purchased staring down, jaw on the fucking floor like "Oh my God wtf do I do"

he had the vlog camera on so he kinda got it all on video before he pulled you away from the person

yall sprinted the hell away bc the security guards were running towards yall 😭😭

#neveridentified

#the person admitted guilt anyways and said they were planning to hurt you so no point in trying to track yall down for self defense

#i barely know the law shush

TUBBO

he physically has to hold you back from fighting people

"y/n, it's fine. they just want a reaction"

"let me beat them up!"

the other person's like "yo wtf is wrong with you????"

"sorry, my partner acts like a hostile animal when people piss them off, sorry"

he appreciates you defending him though, he does like using you as a weapon because he thinks it's funny

I mean at least you guys don't have to worry about getting kidnapped or anything because you'll be there to kick the motherfuckers ass

"GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH"

"Oh they don't bite, it's okay 🥰"

"YES THEY FUCKIN DO HELP"

RANBOO

they just kind of accepted that you were like this

"I do not endorse violence unless you are y/n. I can't make them un-violent. I have tried, they're a vicious guard dog now"

hurricane Katrina? more like hurricane tortilla when you enter the building

yk the free style dance teacher vine? that'll be ranboo out in public and someone will stare at them all weird and you'll glare back

"walk away, walk away" you mumble, watching the person hurrily walk away as they see you like glaring daggers into their skull

your dynamic is the one vine that's like "Oh can I have a sip of your water?" and "It's not water or vodka, it's vinegar" "bitch what"

then you'll go make angsty edge lord posts to the one bojack horseman audio "I'm not a violent dog" and insert a clip of you beating the shit out of someone in high school

FREDDIE BADLINU

you post the "look at all those chickens" vine on your Twitter everytime you see a hate comment made for one of you

you love instigating fights w people online it's the funniest fucking thing

if you don't know how to reply to some dumbass edgelord response you'll just spam the guacamole vine until they shut up

"wait, why does y/n have so many soaps?"

"MIND YOUR FUCKIN BUISNESS DAVID"

Freddie's response to your violence is usually the saxophone seal vine. he genuinely laughs everytime he sees you fighting w someone online

sometimes you'll stream it while you wait for a response and while you're fighting online trolls who've been brainwashed by Twitter

"You're gay?!?!?!?11??11"

insert the "ms keisha dead" vine and the battle is over idk what to say

fight fire with fire I guess

NIKI NIHACHU

she hates yet loves that you'd fight ppl for her

oh, someone treated her wrong? you'll be trending on Twitter for fighting the person

#y/u/n will literally be at number 1 for a week

people edit the fight too

she appreciates it though, even though she doesn't exactly like to promote violence, she'll accept it from you

"Oh, don't worry about them, they're just a little... nervous around people sometimes"

"nervous? girl that mf is SNARLING at me"

you'll see a post that's like "me when someone tries to start shit w my s/o" and reply with the "hahaha I do that" vine

when I tell you she CACKLES reading online fights with people 😭🙏

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

"get the F off my yard!" proceeds to have to drag you away from situations where someone's actin a little funny in a /neg way

he genuinely thinks you fighting people for him is funny

he'll tell the stories on stream and to his friends like "dude they fucked this guy up, I honestly feel bad for laughing"

honestly most the time it's people victimizing themselves

like that one meme where the lady very obviously and fakely falls over that bench on LIVE TELEVISION.

he's your biggest supporter

he's the old guy from that one vine of the kid singing "Oh wait a minute mister postman" and he does the whole ass high note

"here's y/n fighting someone for idk what because they're talking to the police 😋"

you're a problem at this point

QUACKITY

you've physically fought so many wild racists for him it's crazy

he'll gladly cheer you on

"AHHHH COME GET YO DOG BRO HELP"

"Oh it don't bite"

you proceed to bite the bitch

online fights are usually responded w the purple teletubby twerking meme

"L don't be a weak ass racist pussy next time"

you fight Logan Paul for some reason??? Twitter drama mostly

don't worry quackitys there to watch

17-3 don't worry... ehehehrhahahha

when he tells you that you need to stop instigating fights you send him the "They ask you how you are but you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine" meme BAHDNHAHA

FOOLISH GAMERS

"YOU KNOW WHAT DUDE? IM OUTTA HERE" vine in a nutshell with you two. I can't explain this but it makes sense I swear

"whatd you do to your eyebrows?" meme except its "Whyd you fight that person!?" "I don't really know!"

Twitter fights are like "and they were roommates!" "ohmygodtheywereroomates" I swear to fucking god

you love instigating shit with Twitter trolls

when you stand up for him/reply to edgelord haters for him he replies with the "country boy I love youuuuuuu" vine

"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKIN MONEY!" vine with the law and order intro is literallt how physical fights go

let's just say some stalker edgelords tracked you guys down at the streamer awards...

HE AND PUNZ GENUINLEY CHEER YOU ON

here you go trending on Twitter again

[maukiki-but-cringefail]

YGESSSSS. NEW BSB ENJOYER FOUND. who is your favorite character if i may ask... i have like atleast 5 but kai is at the top i think. sometimes i think about this image and i'm like "my god what the fuck even is that". one of the guys of all time

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT” LMFAOOO no because thats exactly what my friend said when they saw yuriy KEDBJSBSGWJW. What is. Wrong with his eyebrows....looking like a creature…a bug with antannae perhaps….

BUT MY FAVORITE IS MAX‼️‼️‼️hes been my fav ever since i started watching it love him… my second favorite is kai probably though LOL. I can tell hes one of those fan favorite characters right🤔usually characters like him are… not a bad thing just an observation lol. Metal fight beyblade was the beyblade show i had known my entire life and was a big fan of so i wanted to see the other beyblade shows with it and for some reason i watched beyblade burst before bakuten shoot ????? Yeah that 7 season show i only liked the very first season of… the rest was so boring and for some reason i forced myself to watch it by using it as background noise😭

idk why i didnt give up and watch bakuten instead, took me too long lmfao. Th reason why i mentioned metal fight is that since i knew that show my entire life i had certain expectations on certain type of characters (ik bakuten came first but metal couldve been influenced by it and it was bcs there are similarities lol) (i mean king [from bakuten] looks almost identical to dynamis [from mfb] <- thats just one example) so i thought, while i was watching season 1, Kai Hiwatari was gonna be like Kyouya Tategami where hes with the team yes but doesnt see himself as a part of it and is there for himself only bcs hes a loner or whatever but then that thing at the end of the season happened he became a part of the team and the didnt have random unnecessary off screen character regression like kyouya did in the next 2 seasons (and also isnt an asshole abt it like when he left temporarily to battle takao in g revulotion he wasnt like “fuck you dumbass” like kyouya did basically 😭😭)….

That was so refreshing to see bcs thats not what i was expecting and thank god it exceeded my expectations 😭 thats why i keep saying kai is kyouya done right bcs he kinda is…. Though i find it funny when hes just standing in the background w his arms crossed or laying on the grass like damn bro wants to be cool so bad (not as cool as the frame of rei kon absolutely BALLING)

Said max is my favorite and talked about kai the entire time LOL no but he’s my fav i love that guy EXCEPT. the fact that. He likes mayonnaise… idgaf if its ur style mayonnaise is disgusting im disappointed in you max…..

I also like Yuriy who also seems to be a fan favorite from what ive seen which i expected but i like him in a way like, hes so funny to me. Bro walkin around with bug antannae and the worst posture youve ever seen. Why is he built like that. Fucking thing. Also big fan of the weird ass sht he does in g revulotion when doing special moves hes got CLAWS hell yeah. No bcs no one elses looks like dat when they do it⬇️ as a certified creature fan i can proudly confirm this, indeed, is one of the creature moments of all time.

⬆️i remember seeing this frame before watching the show and thinking what could possibly be the context behind this LMFAO . Shoutout to Rei kon for also being a creature big fan of the pointy ears and slit orange eyes (v force when i catch you v force)

I dont know peoples opinions of daichi but he seems like the type of character ppl might hate for being annoying but i like him bcs he reminds me of me and my brother when we were little (im the younger sibling) bcs every interaction between takao and daichi reminded me of us LMFAO 10/10 sibling dynamic (better than takaos actual brotha😬)

N lemme see if i have any kai screenies i took cauze i took a sht tonna screenshots

I was gonna capriin thwm but idk how to write inbetween them so im typing them here

First pic - already has a caption

Second pic - ths shit makes me laugh everytime im so glad people are not hesitant to resort to violence in this saga

Third pic - V force jumpscare

Fourth pic - what is he listening to . Do you guys think Kai Hiwatari would like Yuno Miles

Fifth pic - one…..one piece…..

Sixth pic - they forgot to colour teh pack of his hair lol

Seventh pic - no need for a caption. What is that

Last pic - he. Smirks like an animal. Idk how to explain it but, he smiles like how an animal or an ailen trying to do it for the first time would do it

I will read the manga soon i have physical copies of the first 4 volumes and ill find the rest on the net bcs bakuten media is so much easier to find that mfb is THANK GOD. I will also be looking up shitty 13 yr old amv s and yall better have sum real 2011 sht

[icyfox17]

New tag game bc I'm bored

List 5-10 of the most obscure crossovers you have floating around in your brain !!

1. Dumbass!crimeboys x halcyon!crimeboys

-> arguably the most obscure since it's a crossover between two aus that aren't even posted publicly, but i gen adore it sm<3 db!crimeboys is a hero au where tommy is just. Welp. A dumbass<3 he's my fav tommy ever guys 😭😭 he's my friend's au and I just SOBS most precious guy ever... And halcyon crimeboys is a detective au. Basically take the dumbest tommy and tired older brother Wilbur and make them meet the smartest crimeboys. It's very silly:))

2. Psych x Dsmp

-> okay hear me out. Hear me out. Shawn Spencer is literally Tommyinnit. They are the SAME. Now Phil as Chief Vic, Techno and Wilbur as twin detectives who both function as Jules and Lassiter (platonic ofc), and Tubbo as Gus. It fits way better than it should 😭😭

3. Critical Role (specifically Mighty Nein) x Dsmp

-> guys. Guys. I went on a rant on here like a year ago BUT CADUCEUS AND TECHNO'S CHARACTER DESIGNS ARE EERILY SIMILAR TO EACH OTHER. Tall pink dude w animal traits (cad is more cow, tech is more pig)? Cad is like c!Phil and c!Techno to me... (Is it bc of the tea obsession? Maybe...). I just also think that clingyduo would get along with Jester and Nott/Veth like a wildfire. OR OMG FOOLISH-- Does anyone remember Foolish building dick statues everywhere?? Yeah, he's definitely a follower of the Traveler.

4. 911xMCU

-> okay ngl guys this just came 2 me bc I realised that everyone calls Bobby Cap like how all the Avengers call Steve Cap and I was like lmfao imagine a scene where someone says Cap and they both respond to it.

5. Cw Flash x Pjo

-> okay this isn't my idea but it's one of my fav fics ever WHY DOES IT WORK SO WELL LMFAO

6. Spider-Man x Dick Grayson & Wally West

-> PETER IS LITERALLY DICK AND WALLY IN ONE PERSON 😭😭 SUPER SMART SCIENCE BRAIN + SILLY GOOFY + ACROBATS they're the same. I need them to meet so badly sobsosbsosbsosvsosbsosbsisbsjs Not sure which versions of which I just. Need it. Pls 😭😭😭

7. Justice League Unlimited x Young Justice (tv show)

-> This one has its own separate post here, but omg it makes me SO UPSET GUYS 😭😭😭

8. TMNT x Batfam

Okay not obscure bc they have had both a movie and a comic BUT HEAR ME OUT. SPECFICALLY THE 2007 MOVIE VERSION OF TMNT. This scene is literally Dick and Jason I can't do this guys WHY DO THEIR COLOURS EVEN MATCH

9. Dceu!Bruce & Barry x MCU!Irondad

-> okay my mental illness is full blast here but omfg they are the same duo THEY ARE THE SAME I need them to swap sons for a day plspslspslspspspdlfkfdishskdfjdksklaskd

10. Any vigilante au Tommy x Spider-Man

-> this is hidden in my notes app and is both like my own version of Tommy and Spidey but omfg I'm attached it's such a fun idea to play around with rahhhshshshss. I have a scene where Tommy and Spidey have a miscommunication over Blade lmfao and it lives rent free in my mind. Like Blade is a vampire but does NOT dress the same as Technoblade who might also secretly be a vampire in Tommy's universe lmfaooo

Okay and Bonus One that literally no one will understand except me

11. Magnum PI remake x Orphanduo (Techno and Skeppy)

-> Katsumoto is literally Technoblade guys. THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON. And omfg Magnum and Higgens are so happy duo ngl 😭😭😭

OKAY THAT'S ALL FOR NOW YIPPEE

Tag time :D

@sammiekel @jiksvokrat @cristalmystery @ghosts-and-blue-sweaters @sleepdeprivedofmycorn @sunflowervc @angrilydancing and anyone else who wants to join in!!

[taegularities]

Day 3

I'm reading the cmi for first time AND OMG gurl I'm loving this jjk ffs so much like wow who thought I could stumble upon some good shit on like this

I'm done till cmi~light ✨✨✨✨ seriously 3 damn days it took just to be here

SWEAR these two dorkes like hell they are such idiots and clowns in love how they are not obvious to eachother but to whole world I'm sure even if stranger sits with them for moment they wouldn't able to tell...

The way (yn/oc) tells jk how he also treats her so good in (cmi light) like gurl 🐥👊🏻 what in hell you were expecting!??? A LOVE CONFESSION not in hell baby he is doing he is DUMBASS I cracked up so bad on his bant ass reply like "yea I treat Every women same as you" you ain't no special girl mf 🤭🤭 fuck man i felt second hand embarrassment for BOTH THEM because first of all why our gurl asking those dumb questions when WE know we gonna get dumber answers for that.... jezz that boy WHY HE IS SUCH idiot tell me he gets better on because no way our oc is falling in love with his super idiots ass (besides those delicious moves and sure that 🦴🔫 are very rare can't blam her) but still WHY HE thinks he not good or enough for oc or what's with so much not so required insecurities and looks like boy's all smartness 😒is in his peepee and hands only and god's be good not again those dumb secret why can't he be more open.

The scene in cmi-light gurl where jk appears from nowhere reminds of some old romance movie sitting of where this fl is all sadden up in her own misery sitting outside and suddenly another moment she try to move on and gets up but sees there the ml is all snuggled up in the sunset all the sun light covering him and all she could see is his outline and there he is waiting for her it was so good that it's making jump and paint like I wanna do sketching or water painting of that scene

Anyways I will let you know if I ever able to create one but seriously I WANT THAT SCENE HAPPENING REAL LIFE 😭😭 maybe to us or someone anyways bye

lesson to be learn never to be so desperate kids

🦴🔫 anon

lmfaoooo omg yeah, the story is kind of an idiots to lovers and a bit of a slow burn thing 😭 not sure how to react to the jk slander and the multiple mentions of the word 'idiot' lmfaooo i created the guy in a way that even i fell in love hard 🤣 you'll know why he's not so open!! he's been through a crap ton that makes it not so easy for him to speak his mind and "act" secretive, which is ofc frustrating for both, but also valid since they haven't been in this thing together long enough for him to reveal such bad trauma. be patient!! 😋

i'm happy you've been reading!! lights is somehow the chapter where most people drop by and leave a couple kind words hehe still one of my favs, too!! i hope you enjoy the rest (and them being idiots bc it's far from being overrr 😂) and thank you for going through my beloved magnum opus!!! you described the scene in lights so beautifully, too, bc yeah oc really did breathe that sigh of relief :') if you ever paint anything like that, i'd love to see it :) hope to hear from you again soon 🤍

[bonesandthebees]

CLICKY SCENE CLICKY SCENE CLICKY SCENE

[Screams]

I ended up rereading ch2 of what the water gave me to cope wITH THAT ENDING WTF BEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Also i forgot i hadnt sent an ask for ch 2 of songs of change 😭😭

So ima speedrun that quickly

UNCLE TECHNOOO OHMYGOODNESS I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM SM :(( HES SOO

Big boi man with smol child is my fav trope

Techno yeeting wilbur across the pool was so sweetsdhdjskfi i adored that scene sm, i could see it so clearly in my head rahhhh

Phil singing to help wilbur sleep makes me want to cry [bawls]

ALSO HE CALLED HIM KIDDO OGMGUDPAGELDSUEIDPDYWLRKDGSDNFOFSVDVKFFHDJFLDHRPFURDLGIFHDPFUFDHFPSHDKFJDVSKDJ [explodes] THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO MEEE AHFPFJEKS

I love the energy of wilbur asking a bajillion questions, he's sooo<33

A little shit, but an adorable little shit

Phil is also a little shit, i see why they like each other so much LMFAOOO

Philllll

Why did you think tricking the child into becoming a mer would work 😭 dumbass

Also why did he think Wilbur wouldn't figure it out 😭😭

Techno is the only one with braincells

Shfkflflf

Godddd im sooo sgdkfhsnfkf :((<33

Theyre all so SWEET i love them theyre a fambly but also PHIL WHY [sobs]

Also wilbur accidentally doing the scared trill and Phil RUNNING ohmggod he was so scared im gonna cry ohmvuspwheodisgdkfdj 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Im so nervous hes gonna try to cut the scale off of himself ohmygod

IM SO SADDD

Goshhh, this was a really good chapter tho<333 definitely worth the wait ohmygoddd

I think taking ur time with the reveal really helped the impact, showing him being in denial bc if he was turning into a mer than that would mean Phil lied to him but then he couldn't deny it anymore--

Ughhh ohnygoodnesshdkfldf they make me so ill

The trust and attachment he has to Phil warring with his betrayal and fear ooohhmygoodness this poor kid

I have a feeling things are gonna come to a head next chapter with his crew... might find that scale on him or smth and uh oh...

We'll see tho :D very lovely update bee, i am so hyped for the next one!!! Mermay 2023 is almost complete 🥳

yuppp you know I just had to do another clicky scene those are too fun

so glad you guys all liked techno chucking wilbur across the cove. I was struggling so hard to come up with something for them to do when phil first introduced them in that scene and then I was like "what if he just threw him" and I love how it turned out so much

wilbur is his kiddo :(( but yes they are also both little shits like father like son and all

phil is very stupid and also doesn't understand human emotions so he didn't think wilbur would be THAT upset. techno, meanwhile, does understand humans more hence why he was just like "bruh this will not end well"

ty!! i'm very happy I added the scenes even if it was really difficult to find the time to write them. I definitely rushed through it on the first draft, but I wanted the buildup and the subtle hints as to what was really going on, along with wilbur's own denial. he trusts phil so much at this point, he doesn't want to believe that phil would betray him like this but he did and it hurts so much

guess you'll have to wait and see how things turn out :)

[bbytetsu]

SHOPPING WITH 3RD GYM MEMBERS

author’s note: had to repost this bc i was having issues with my tags last night but that’s my own fault LMAO hope u enjoy <3 

Kuroo:

lives in gray sweats, hoodies, and his volleyball gear and calls it “aThLeIsUrE” he’s just lazy

so you take him shopping bc you’re tired of being the only one with style

little did u know shopping with him is an emotional rollercoaster

he will either roast the shit out of u

“damn that’s my lil oompa loompa w the overalls”

or compliment u with cheesy chemistry pickup lines

“wow... you look like an exothermic reaction in that. spreading hotness everywhere 😘”

regardless of whether he’s flaming you or flirting with you, there’s never a dull moment shopping with him

“kuroo what the HELL is that?”

“you said i could pull off anything!”

“not those JORTS” 

it’s the fashion fail of the century, worse than plaid oikawa

but when he does find clothes that suit him: REAL athleisure with a hint of streetwear/goth, you better be ready!

because if he catches you blushing or you compliment him, he will tease you endlessly

when shopping for his own clothes, he’ll buy things that will look good on you, too. says some dumb shit about “getting more bang for his buck,” but just wants to see in his oversized hoodies

lots of quick, heated makeouts in fitting rooms

despite the endless teasing and banter, his heart is so soft when shopping with you. might not verbalize it, but his constant smile and the way he looks at you gives it all away

Bokuto:

the perfect balance of shopping for him and shopping for you

acts like your sugar daddy, but is actually broke... hear me out lmao

he’s a reckless spender 

even if he’s not paying with his own money f in the chat for the fukurodani team and anyone else who lends him money

invests A LOT in athletic wear, and definitely collects volleyball shoes

always points out collaborations between sports brands and athletes and will go on tangents about having his own collaboration one day so cute we love and support a man with goals

always gets scammed by the small stands that sell the most useless things

will constantly surprise you with small gifts

“bo, what’s this?”

“oh! it’s for you. doesn’t it look like me?”

“where’d you get the money, though? i thought you still owed ak-”

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!”  

extra af in fitting rooms. will strut down the hallway and pose. blows kisses at you in front of store employees

LOVES sending you mirror selfies, especially with ALL THAT CAKE

you once made the mistake of not replying, and he spiraled into emo mode

“(y/n)... do you think my ass flat or something?”

you make up for it by buying matching outfits/t-shirts with him. he loves that matchy matchy!!

tbh you should avoid shopping with him in general though if you don’t want him to feel the wrath of his moneylenders

but that’s easier said than done. it’s impossible to feel anything less than pure joy when shopping with this ray of sunshine!!

Akaashi:

he’s practically your personal stylist. he has IMPECCABLE taste

plus he’s so patient and sweet when shopping with you. will carry your bags, will wait in lines for you, lets you take your time

very lowkey pda with him. just holding hands, quick pecks here and there

loves taking mirror selfies with you! always makes them his wallpaper 🥺

when you force him to shop for himself, he always leaves you speechless with how good he looks in everything. unlike kuroo he can pull off jorts

his style? classic, well-tailored, but not afraid to try some more experimental pieces (think opening ceremony). he has serious off-duty model energy

when you get tired of shopping for clothes, you’ll stop by the bookstore

and of course, he’ll lose track of time as soon as he begins thumbing through books

one time, you thought he had already left the bookstore since it had been so long, so you left to find him

he somehow noticed you leaving and practically sprinted after you. mans has never been so PRESSED

would not stop pouting like a lil puppy for the rest of the afternoon

“are you still mad, keiji?”

“no, why?”

“you’re frowning a little bit.”

“i’m not frowning...” he says as he continues to visibly pout

you buy boba for him and are extra affectionate to make up for it. our lil foodie can’t stay mad

shopping with almost always ends up with a cute dinner date. he makes reservations beforehand like the most perfect boyfriend he is

Tsukishima:

will refuse to go shopping with you at first, but it’s secretly because his heart can’t handle seeing you in cute clothes

you will have to bribe him with coffee listen i KNOW that tsukishima is a coffee addict

his style is also classic, but boringly so. does all of his shopping online, so he’s just here for you tbh

just walking around, he’ll literally find anything to criticize

“i’m not going in that store. reeks of vsco girls and daddy issues”

“why are they selling those ugly ass jorts. i bet kuroo would be stupid enough to wear those” i mean, he’s not wrong like

“the floor looks musty as hell in here. you would think they own a mop if they’re going to charge you $72 for a blouse”

but once in a while, just for you, he’ll put a pause on the bullying when you’re trying on an outfit he likes. highest form of a tsukki compliment is when he blushes a little and says “i guess that one’s okay”

he might roast the shit out of you but will never let anyone else bully you

if a salesperson rude to you two, he will ask to speak to the manager

will fight rude salespeople, their manager, the district manager, all the way up the corporate ladder just for you

you’ll take him to a nice cafe to calm his nerves. nothing like a cold brew to soothe the soul 😌

he won’t let this ruin your shopping trip, though. will try to keep lower his snark afterwards so that you can still have a good time, though he’ll never admit it

and you will definitely have a good time, because when he’s not directing it at you, his snarky commentary can be fun. and seeing him flustered when you’re wearing a cute fit? even better

[ihatebnha]

HELP WHAT IF HE STARTS SENDING PICTURES OUT OF CONTEXT AND EVERYONE IS LIKE "what is that??" AND HE SAYS "IT'S A QUARTER DUMBASS" AND ALSO ALL HIS PICS ARE BLURRY TOO LIKE YOU CAN BARELY SEE WHAT IT IS OR HIS CAMERA IS DIRTY AND MAKES THE PICTURE HAVE THAT ONE EFFECT YK?? 😭😭

also what if he privately sends u pictures of things he bought

bkg: "got a new necklace" and it's a pic of him wearing it ☹️☹️ or it's just a pic of the necklace alone on his neck but it's still cute so you hype him up and make him blush unknowingly <33

(link for safety!)

LMFAOOO IS IT EVEN A QUESTION THAT ALL HIS PHOTOS ARE BLURRY??? NO!!! he just doesn't have the patience to hold his camera still for more than one second, and it's honestly kinda hilarious bc if (and when) he accidentally sends you a live photo, you can see that he tried to stay still, but not enough to like... actually make the photo look good.

(and lmfao i'm absolutely CRYING at him trying to tell the gc what everything is. he gets even more annoyed when sero is like "why did u even send that?" it was for y/n ashdfaskd)

AND UGH!!! him trying to text you the way a bf does even before you're dating😢😢😢 sending pics of his his outfit and then asking what you're wearing and trying to compliment you back even if it's just jammas... probably even asks u what he should have for dinner and then offers to make you some, sometime too.

i know he always feels like the shit for an entire 24/7 whenever u compliment him. walking around the agency (or just his house) w/ a puffed chest, all: "this is the shirt y/n likes. fuck yeah"

god forbid anyone clowns him for it dsalfjkahdsj

[moe-broey]

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that I will not be getting Kokomi this run 😔😔😔😔😔

But hey, I think it's safe to say I'm pretty much guaranteed to get Venti!!! I've been juggling two files LMFAOOO my main one where I've been saving for a potential Venti rerun since the Albedo banner ended (and where I've been locked out of co-op for like. Months. Bc of that dumbass Trials in Tianqiu timed challenge that has been impossible for me to beat w the characters I have no matter how buff I make them), and my second file I made specifically TO co-op bc I missed playing w my sisters and friends and where I was hoping to get Kokomi bc she's one of the five stars I wanted super badly, but. You know.

But when it comes to my main, I have 81 Intertwined Fates AND I lost the 50-50 on Albedo's banner (got Qiqi and she's my only five star actually lmfao across both accounts) SO LIKE. From what I understand about Genshin's gacha system, it's just a numbers game at this point!

I'm!!!! Very excited!!!!! And very hopeful that Venti could save my ass for that bitchass quest too LMFAO, I've read that he's actually super useful there 😳

[mppmaraudergirl]

omg i feel like ur fics have changed my expectations in men so much lololol I'm like is it realistic or even possible for someone to love me like our resident dumbass loves our lady in red?? fuck do men like this exist???????bc point me there way i will do all the work lmfaooo

Lol well I would say that entirely depends on which fic you are referencing for said dumbass. I will admit some of my characterization is a bit more realistic than others.

The Wedding Ring!James? No absolutely not. I'm fairly certain you'd search forever and never find a real guy doing what TWR!James has done and will do in the future. 🙃

But in general, yeah I do honestly think you can find someone who looks at you like you hung the moon.