#bc then i worry that by even talking about it people will assume i'm some fandom crazed chronically online hermit

[torchickentacos]

current skill I'm working on is called 'stop it' where, once I start overthinking about my hobbies to the point of them not being fun, I stop them for a bit. it's not going great so far but we're working on it

[heartshapedcigaretteburns]

(RAHRWAHRAHAHAHWAHRAWR 😩‼️)

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who hates leaving you even before you start dating. He worries about you 24/7 while he's on a mission even if he knows you can take care of yourself.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who can't help but feel like you're already family. You're at his parents house every holiday get together and you're friends with all his cousins and siblings. You're his plus one to every wedding. It'd be so easy for you to take his last name.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who convinces you to move in with him. He says it's cost efficient but really it's because he can't stand being away from you more than he has to. He loves coming home to you just lounging or cooking bc it makes him feel like you're his little wife waiting for him to come home ☹️ he just wants someone to hold him when it's over. It also doesn't hurt that he gets to see you prance around with wet hair in just a t shirt (no bra 😏) and panties bc you hate the feelings of pants on your freshly moisturized legs.

This doesn't help the problem Childhood Bsf Soap! has of talking about you to his team like you've been married to him for years. Calls you his lass, the missus, his lady. "Can't make it to the bar tonight, the missus has been looking forward to this new movie so I'm gonna take my lass to see it." The first time he complained about your new partner his teammates were stunned bc this whole time they thought you were his gf/wife. Soap likes the idea of people assuming you 2 are a couple.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who has never liked any of your past partners and always made it very well known bc this boy can't hide his emotions. If he has to be around the person you're talking to romantically he's constantly like this 😡 in the corner literally POUTING. He'll even go as far as trying to convince you to break up with them for something. "They didn't even know your favorite childhood cartoon! They obviously don't care about getting to know you on a deeper level maybe you should end it now 😁"

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who already knows your relationship preferences and love languages. When he finally decides he's had enough of the just friends thing he takes full advantage of the years he's spent listening to you rant about love and ramble about your dream partner. All of the sudden he's hitting you with all the aspects you want in a partner and it's not an opportunity any sane person could pass up.

Childhood Bsf Soap! Who traps you in the bedroom the night before a mission. He got the call just after lunch and you haven't left the bed since. Hours later, his head is on your chest and you're lazily stroking his mohawk and watching some cooking show on the tv. He stays buried in you all night even after he goes soft just to be as close to you as possible before he has to leave. He's praying he's allowed to come back to you again this time.

Umh 2nd ever time doing something like this 😬not as proud of this one bc I don't read much about Soap personally but I figured I started with Gaz so I might as well do another underated one. Soap needs some love too fr 💕 I really don't know what I'm doing y'all 😔😭

[starlightomatic]

ngl feel really really weird about the direction we've gone wrt internet safety for teens. when i was a kid it was hammered into us that we should never reveal our real names, our faces, or our ages on the internet. in fact it was extremely important not to reveal your age bc if you did, predators could target you.

now we've decided that the locus of potential sexual harm from adults is not predators who set out to target teens, but rather well-meaning adults who might accidentally let a minor see smut on their blog. so we make everyone broadcast their ages to everyone. which puts a target on the backs of teens who are now advertising to everyone that they're underage.

we also situate sexual harm of minors in "a minor saw sexual content!!" which, listen, im sorry to tell you this but teenagers have sex drives and want to see sexual content. a 16yo is not being harmed by reading a smut fic.

now i do understand why nsfw blogs don't allow minors to interact, bc the interaction constitutes an issue since that's on some level a teen and adult interacting sexually. but the issue is not that a teen saw something sexual, it's that you should not be having that interaction with them. still i am not convinced that that is riskier than giving predators knowledge of who to target.

i also worry what happens when all the well meaning people with best practices turn teens out of their spaces -- who does that end up leaving them with? i'm not saying the solution is to invite them in but there has to be some other, third option. i also think we need to understand the difference between a 17yo liking a sex-related shitpost on tumblr vs an actual intentionally predatory sexual interaction from an adult.

i don't think it's necessarily bad to set a boundary and not allow them to like the shitpost, but i don't like the idea that it was harmful for them to have even seen it. i think it's actually positive for teens to have exposure to adults who are talking about sexuality in consent-based, sex-positive, queer-informed ways to balance out all the shitty, sexist bioessentialist perspectives they're getting elsewhere.

also again, we should remember that the issue is sex-based interactions between teens and adults, NOT that teens are bad or wrong for being interested in sex and sexuality. if a really young teen is too interested in that it could be concerning but age-appropriate levels of sexuality are fine and good and i don't want kids to think they're wrong, dirty, or bad for experiencing sexuality.

i think there's a balance here where we need to make sure interactions are safe without diving headfirst into a spring-awakening-style world where we assume teens are too innocent and pure to know anything about sex which results in risky behavior, not practicing safe sex, and not understanding consent. and i get worried sometimes that the current culture around this leads us there.

i especially worry about this in regards to kink and bdsm because i don't know if there are any educational resources out there geared to teens. i do think it's a good idea to wait until you're 18 before doing anything hardcore or too intense, or even kink at all, but if they're going to anyway (and some will) i'd rather teens have a solid safety backing and knowledge as opposed to just acting on instinct because that can really be dangerous. and something i really worry about is people who turn 18 and immediately show up to play parties and start hooking up with people without having that background knowledge because they were prevented from accessing it before then, since it's so easy for abusers to exploit them. young adult women are already extremely vulnerable in those spaces.

i don't know what my exact solution to these issues is but i feel really concerned about where we're heading. i've been wanting to say something for a while but have been afraid that people would interpret this the wrong way. i'm sure some still will, but i hope this can at least start a conversation about these issues.

[most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer]

Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*

*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.

Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:

as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)

while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates

Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)

That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:

***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.

I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***

Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.

But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?

Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:

C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?

Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*

Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:

A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice

A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…

Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:

C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?

He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.

Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.

A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:

SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed

(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)

I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?

"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.

In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.

And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.

So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.

If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.

"Then nothing has to change, does it?"

[linatheweirdooo]

Don't hurt me

I wrote this fic on ao3 originally as a vent, but due to the positive reception I'm gonna post it here too :3 here's the link to it on ao3 if you wanna give it a kudos or reply or read any other stuff I wrote bc I don't plan on posting that much on here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56567776/chapters/143770822#workskin

TW; implied S/A (it's hurt/comfort but the subject is mentioned and implied)

~~

It all happened so fast.

The sensation of water trickling down her synthetic skin, the studs of soap covering her body. It was a normal day, V just wanted to take a shower to clean herself off after an especially bloody hunt. Until she slipped.

Her entire frame collapsed onto the soapy ground, and her optics struggled to make out what was happening. Her processor overwhelmed with the sensory information from all fronts, it retorted to its only defense; to connect this situation to something familiar, something that has happened before.

In her disoriented state, instead of seeing the shower in her home, she saw a room in the old manor. And instead of feeling water slide down her hydrophobic shell, she felt hands. Hands that were distinctly human. Hands of the people whom she still can't remember the faces of, violating her. Touching her in places she shouldn't be touched, abusing parts of her body that are too sensitive for it.

This was stupid. She was a robot, she was a servant, why would she care if she was used? Wasn't that what she was made for? She shouldn't be whining.

Poisonous words from the person seemingly executing this echoed in her audio receptors. Even when it happened, V could bearly make out proper sentences.

V just yelled for them to get away, but her pleas proved vain when nothing changed.

Eventually, she succumbed to it, with only whimpers and muffled sobs with the occasional "stop" escaping her mouth.

~~

N was out today, which only left Uzi and V in their home, but the purple worker couldn't help but feel slightly worried by how long her girlfriend had been in the shower, she was usually quick.

But Uzi brushed it off. Maybe she's doing some self care for herself. V was responsible, they've known each other for a while now. Long enough to build a life with her and N.

That was until she heard V's voice, muffled by the walls of the bathroom and too far away from Uzi to make out any actual words. But why would V be yelling? There's nobody else in the house other than her, right?

Uzi panicked, but took a deep breath. She needed to stop assuming the worst all the time. So she calmly (albiet still quickly) walked up to the bathroom she was in and knocked on the door.

"V? You okay?"

No reply. At least, no reply that was directed at Uzi. It was hard to tell what she was saying, which worried her. Uzi does know V has a... complicated past... but even after getting together, she didn't talk about it more than she needed to. What if she was stuck in some kind of flashback?

No. No jumping to the worst case scenario. She'll just ask her again.

"V? Did something happen? Can I come in?"

No reply again. This was now a cause for concern, so Uzi opened the door, only to see her girlfriend on the floor of the shower sobbing and whimpering.

Immediately she ran up to V. But the disassembly drone sat up and made eye contact with Uzi.

Fear. The thought that V was even capable of the feeling had never even crossed Uzi's mind, but the hollow yellow rings that replaced her eyes were all that stared back her girlfriend.

V looked sad, tired, and scared, and while she has shown more emotion in front of her partners than she would to anyone else, this was different. It was raw, it was unfiltered, and it was heartbreaking. Her wet hair covered parts of her face and water was still pouring over her. She looked helpless.

"V?" Was all Uzi got to say before the disassembly drone tensed up and her endoskeleton started to shake. Pants and suppressed sobs were all that escaped the drone in front of Uzi, and when she tried getting closer, V cowered, pushing herself on the floor into the corner of the shower.

With her knees to her chin, one cone-shaped arm wrapped around her legs and the other in a protective position, hiding most of her face, V looked...vulnerable.

Noticing her girlfriend's reaction, Uzi moved backward. V must've thought she was someone else. Why else would she be this scared at the sight of her own girlfriend? Did Uzi do something?

V seemed to relax slightly, but she still looked like a helpless, terrified kitten in the rain. It hurt Uzi to see someone so important to her look like that. Only a year or two ago, Uzi would be scared of V, stating what she would think would be her final words if she crossed by any disassembly drone. Never in a million years did she ever entertain the idea of dating not one, but TWO of them. And now one of them is terrified of her.

As Uzi prepared to speak again, she heard V mumble something mixed with a sob. Uzi's audio receptors may not be as advanced as her girlfriend's, but she could make out a few words.

"Don't hurt me" were those words. The rest were lost to the sounds of whimpering and water from the shower hitting the floor, but Uzi's heart sank at the thought of what those words implied.

"V... it's me, Uzi"

It was a softer tone and volume, and it seemed to have worked as V relaxed a little bit and lowered her hand. However, she was still shaking and her eyes were still hollow.

Uzi leaned down to get on V's level, in an attempt to make her more comfortable. "it'll be okay" she comforted. Maybe it won't be, she had no way to tell, but it may help calm V down. She grabbed the towel V had hung on the hanger. "Can I get you out of here?"

V, still shaking and her eyes still hollowed, nodded. She didn't say anything, as if her voice were being held under a lock and key.

Uzi got into the shower and turned the water off as V stared at her, with digital tears hanging from the eyes displayed on her screen.

The worker drone reached out a tender hand to her girlfriend's cheek, which she immediately leaned into and closed her eyes.

Now that she was closer to V, the stress lines under them were more obvious, and as she brought back her hand, Uzi draped the towel over V like a blanket.

"Do you want me to dry you off or do you want to do it yourself?" Uzi asked in a loving tone.

V took a bit to respond, but she then replaced her eyes with text that read "I'll do it, but stay here" before adding on a "please".

Uzi nodded in response, and V blinked away the text as Uzi used one hand to interlace her fingers with V's and the other supporting her other arm, lifting it up and allowing V's limp body to stand at its full 5'11" height.

V took the towel that was hastly draped over her and wrapped it around herself after she had dried off the plastic and silicone that shielded her insides from the elements.

Uzi looked back at V once she was done but before Uzi got the chance to marvel at how beautiful her girlfriend looked, V collapsed onto Uzi before clearing her throat and spoke.

"Can you..." She paused, as if she was incapable of asking Uzi to do anything for her.

"Can you brush my hair?"

Her voice was scratchy from the crying, and her voice was still shaking despite thinking all the tears were gone. Maybe it was from embarrassment. The strong and terrifying Serial designation V asking for help? She might as well be dead at that point.

"of course..." Uzi smiled before going onto her tip toes and closing the gap between the two drones in a short, soft, loving kiss.

~~~~~

Uzi walked out to let V change, and after a few minutes she saw her girlfriend in a baggy purple sweater collapse into a hug, burying her head into Uzi's shoulder.

"..'m sorry for scaring you" was all V said, partially muffled by Uzi's shirt.

But Uzi just hugged her back and smiled into V while running her fingers through her girlfriend's still partially wet hair. "Its okay, it's not your fault"

V must've believed her. Or didn't feel like arguing. Because she just hummed in reply before pulling away from Uzi and sitting on the edge of their bed infront of the worker.

As Uzi played with V's hair, she wondered what must've happened. Who did V think she was? Why was she scared? Was she stuck in some kind of memory? What was happening in it?

She didn't want to ask too much. V was already secretive about her past even after getting together. But if it was hurting someone she cares about so much, she should at least ask her if she's okay now.

So she asked.

"What happened in there?" And immedietly felt bad. What if she was forcing V to re-live this memory? Was she overstepping a boundary?

"Uh.." V stopped in her tracks, almost trying to remember what just happened before Uzi cut off her train of thought.

"N-not that you have to tell me! It's just-" Uzi sighed. "I just want to know if you're okay"

A moment of silence passed, but to Uzi it felt as though it was a thousand years, and to V, half a second.

V took a deep breath before adjusting her position so that her knees were to her chest and she rested her face on them. "No... you deserve to know. Just-" another beat passed. "- just... i-it's just hard to talk about... uh.."

It was hard to keep talking, trying to figure out which words to carefully string together to form a cohesive sentence. She shouldn't be nervous, but she hasn't really talked about this to anyone. Her mind just kept flashing back to moments she has tried so hard to forget every time she wants to attempt to tell the most important person in her life what happened.

"V? You okay? You don't have to talk, you know"

Shit. She zoned out.

V collected herself and rehearsed what she'd say in her head. Why was she overthinking? She can trust Uzi.

"I..." Her eyes trailed down, and Uzi moved to the left of V to get a better look at her.

"Th-this was like, a long time ago and-"

She stared at her hands, and watched as she fiddled with them to relieve a bit of her anxiety. Or was it fear? Nervousness? Even she can't pinpoint the feeling. But, she does know she needed to talk about it.

"When I was a- uhm... w-when I worked for the Elliot manor... there were some...bad people" she took a slightly shaky breath. Uzi could probably see that V wasn't okay. Maybe that's why she rested her hand on top of V's after she said that. And despite the topic at hand, and emotions racing through her head, V made eye contact with her girlfriend and smiled. Not the sadistic smile she sported in hunts, or the beaming one she wore when Uzi said that magic three-letter word after asking her out. It was soft. It was okay. She's safe with Uzi.

So she took another shaky breath, and continued. "They hurt me. And... the ways they did that, varied..."

Uzi's digital eyes displayed slanted lines, reminiscent of human eyebrows when someone was sad.

"A-and one of those ways... included parts of me that I still wonder why I have. Maybe it was to feed their sick fantasies" it was hard to talk about, but the lump in her artificial throat was smaller as she found herself getting more comfortable.

V opened her mouth so speak, but choked on a sob that she had been trying to suppress. Damn it. She can't be crying now. She supposed to be scary. What was she even doing right now? She was stupid to think she can be vulnerable. She's supposed to be big and scary.

While V spiraled in her thoughts, hypocritically degrading herself for things she did three seconds ago, she snapped out of it by a sudden weight, and arms wrapping around her.

It was Uzi hugging her.

Suddenly, she couldn't control it anymore, and V let out more sobs as she finally broke down. Uzi held her through all of it, she even moved in front of V to face her. And as V sobbed and cried into the crook of Uzi's neck, she wrapped her own arms around the worker, despretly shaking and clawing onto her to make sure Uzi will never leave her side.

Between V's slightly muffled sobs and sniffles, Uzi lifted her head slightly to plant a kiss on V's cheek and whispered comforting words into her audio receptors.

"I'm here now" "Its okay now" "im sorry", they all helped but sounded the same to V. Until Uzi said a particular phrase.

"You didn't deserve that"

What a joke. She absolutely did. Maybe she hadn't done anything bad when it happened but the things that were done to her was probably something whatever higher being looking down on her did to punish her ahead of time. Maybe they thought it would stop her from doing the horrible things she did later in her life as a disassembly drone. In reality V didn't deserve Uzi. Or even N. She doesn't deserve loving partners who care about her. She doesn't deserve the affection she received from them or any forgiveness that they gave her.

But V couldn't even muster the energy to say that. Uzi would probably tell her it was absurd to think that way. Maybe it was. It was hard for someone programmed to serve people to imagine those people may be bad.

At some point in her thoughts, V's sobs got reduced to just occasional hitches in her breath, and her digital tears were replaced with tired lines under golden eyes. And they were very visible to Uzi, who pulled away from the hug and was now holding V's larger hands that were slightly illuminated by the yellow triangles on them.

"Hey, it's getting late. Do you want to go to bed now?"

V blinked a few times and looked at Uzi, then to her own hands. Hands that were made to kill people like Uzi. But right now, hands that were being held by her. And she watched as Uzi's thumbs brushed along her palms.

"Yea. Maybe" V finally sighed, and leaned onto Uzi, who pushed her own weight towards her and hugged her harder.

An "I love you" escaped the purple drone as she rubbed soothing circles on her girlfriend's back. It almost made V start crying again.

She was fine. Everything's fine now. She'll never be hurt that way again. She's loved now.

She's loved now

V's voice shaky from the newly built up tears, she reciprocated the statement

"I love you, too, Uz"

It was quiet, muffled, half mumbled, but it was enough for Uzi to hear her and squeeze her girlfriend tighter.

They shuffled a bit while cuddling, and ended up in a position where Uzi was spooning V. There's a first time for everything, she guessed. But it wasn't that bad, being cradled by the one she loved the most.

Minus V's purring and occasional sniffle, it was relatively quiet. But, it was comfortable. Uzi subconsciously ran her fingers through V's hair as V listened attentively to the rhythm of Uzi's core and wrapped her tail around Uzi's leg. Getting used to how clingy and physically affectionate V was took a bit of time, especially since before dating, Uzi's only ever seen her murdering people, playing with their corpses like dolls only to animalisticly take a bite of her prey.

But it was nice. Paired with V's purring, Uzi really enjoyed cuddling with her, too.

It was a while before V broke the silence.

"You know... I never thought I'd ever tell anyone that experience, much less to a worker"

Uzi looked down at V in her arms, which caused V's complimentary eyes to look back at her.

"Not that it's a bad thing. I'm really glad I could finally talk to someone about it. I never thought I'd see myself this close to someone like you. You opened my eyes to a diffrent way of looking at things, and I'm forever grateful we met. I'm sorry I was such a dick at first."

Uzi's face softened at the remark before she leaned down to kiss V's hair

"Don't say that. You were scared. And you've changed" Uzi paused to cup V's face in her hands and lean in for another kiss, V holding the back of Uzi's head.

"I'm glad you trust me enough to talk to"

V didn't talk, but her smile and blush spoke a thousand words. Uzi just held V to her chest and continued playing with her hair.

It continued like that for a while, until V's "eyelids" grew heavy, and she eventually succumbed to her exhaustion.

~~

Uzi didn't know how long it's been, and frankly she didn't care. That was until she heard footsteps walking into her room before she saw the unmistakable yellow headband of a disassembly drone.

"Hey Zi d-" N cut himself off as he saw V asleep and walked over to Uzi.

"Did something happen?" He asked Uzi in a hushed tone, careful not to wake the drone laying in his girlfriend's arms.

"...Yea. I don't know if she would let me say what happened, but..." the worker looked at the murder machine curled up in her arms, asleep, and smiled. "...she's fine now" Uzi replied, petting V's hair.

N's face shifted to a sympathetic smile as he sat on the edge of the bed and eyed V.

"I hope she is" was all he said before going behind Uzi and snuggled up with her, hugging her from behind before he too fell asleep.

Which left Uzi alone with her thoughts.

V was right, though. A few years ago Uzi's life was hell. It was hard to even avoid hurting herself. But she's so glad she didn't. Now instead of walking to her home after a shitty day at school to be ignored by her father, she walks home after another day of university to a home with her girlfriend and boyfriend, ready to tell them about her day and hear about theirs. Now she looks forward to life, as long as she has her two favourite people in it.

Eventually, Uzi also fell asleep, being hugged by N and V, and hugging the latter back.

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 48 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 47 | lesson 48.2 | lesson 49.1 | lesson 49.2

before reading this...i feel like shit is about to hit the fan idk. the last part of the science fair can't be all sunshine and roses

...

SIGH

my brother in christ the lesson JUST STARTED 🧍🏾

maybe it's the remnants of simeon's angelic nature clashing with the magic solomon used on him. everyone says that solomon is slowly losing what's left of his humanity bc of how long he's been alive, along with the fact that that he went to cocytus and came back alive

or maybe i'm just yapping

simeon: *whatever tf just happened*

luci: mc, i need to talk to you

mc: omg i love you too babe 🫶🏽

like ?? 😭 mc is hilarious i fear

IS HE A DEMON NOW ????? i wanna say i'm surprised but i'm not. i just wonder how the story's gonna play out if they go that route

more on this here

luci trusting satan's judgment bc he's one of the most trustworthy of his brothers and the most similar to him

:((((

but also luci??? HELLO??? whore behavior we love to see it 😌 give me more

but also maybe not bc what if he copes with his negative emotion through sex ??? the whole family needs therapy

the siblings ever. i love them

this is so interesting to me

i wanna ask how the rest of them didn't figure it out sooner, but they all probably went into "protective brother" mode as soon as they realized he didn't have his angelic powers to protect himself anymore. solomon didn't have those kinds of ties to simeon, so he was able to act on and use logic in a more effective way than the brothers would be able to, figuring out that something was wrong before anyone else

solomon assuming that simeon is oblivious to what's going on though? i feel like he's too smart for that to be true. if anything, he's probably either DEEP in denial, too stubborn to bring it up hc he doesn't wanna worry anyone, or mentally wrestling with the fact that he finally got what he wanted - to be with the brothers in the devildom after their fall - but at the cost of his identity

i know i'm reading too far into this, but do the boys really think that lowly of demons (themselves)?

like yes, some demons of lower and higher stature are the absolute worst people you'll ever encounter, but the brothers and diavolo and barbatos and probably numerous other demons are proof that you aren't defined by your physiology or designation or identity or anything like that

some angels act worse than the lowest of demons do, but they're still angels. being a certain race doesn't determine your personality or moral standing, it's who you are as a person

ngl idk what to make of this yet, but i feel like it's important. foreshadowing even. so i'm keeping it here

baby no :( he's doing it to protect you

i love and hate the way simeon is so protective of luke. on one hand, that's basically his son, so i get wanting to shield him from the worst parts of the world and the worst parts of yourself

but on the other, luke is his own person, too. adults tend to forget that kids don't exist as an extension of themselves, but as people trying to find their place in the world. they aren't as naive and are way smarter than most people give them credit for

luke not voicing his concern is a result of and will continue to result in simeon shutting him out under the guise of protecting him, when in reality it's only putting more of a strain on their relationship

ngl i AUDIBLY laughed at that first part bc what 😭

also why would they cut the lesson off here ??? obey me devs when i catch you

i'm honestly so happy the sf arc shifted to something else bc i was getting tired of the happy shit. give me ANGST /lh /hj

[deanscutiepiesam]

⛤ Lots of yapping under the cut,, you've been warned lmao ⛤

Okay, so being a closeted Wincestie in a Destiel world is so hard, it's not even funny. Like, I'll find a Supernatural fan, and I'll get so excited to info dump with them and just talk about the show in general - no shipping involved - and then they'll go, "Soo,,, Dean and Cas, huh?? ;))"

So then I'm put in the position where I have to try to be respectful and not give myself away by saying something like, "I see the appeal, but it's not really my thing," and they'll look at me like I'm an alien and we'll just like never talk again?? And then I'm like, "I wonder how they would've reacted if I said I shipped the brothers?? 💀💀"

And like this isn't even a diss at Destiel enjoyers. I follow some artists for that pairing on Instagram because they're talented, I love good art, (and I'm desperate for spn content bc it's a wasteland over there 😭😭). And I'm totally chill with them long as they're not super aggressive about it. It's just something I've noticed about most of them.

Like they're just so sure that everyone ships them, and I'm like, "Damn, that must be so nice." Like I'm sure my family, friends, and other IRLs would burn me at the stake if I causally talked about Wincest like they do their ship (except maybe my mom, I think she might like Wincest,, idk), but they just get to assume everyone feels the same about Destiel and it's so wild.

And I know part of it is my fault. Like I could talk about Sam and Dean like they do Dean and Cas. I don't have to hide it. No one's making me. But I do like having friends and family sooo... yeah. Not happening. It's so interesting that they don't even have to worry about losing people. Like they're both silly little ships about silly little fictional guys,,, why does it matter?? Can't we all just get along?? 😭😭

Also, noooo,,, I totally didn't make this post partially because I'm salty that I can't share my Wincest edit on tiktok even though I spent so long on it because IRLs would see. And that I can't post Wincest fanart because someone could recognize my art style ☹️☹️

Anyway, yeah... I had this bottled up for a while, and this was like the only place I could share it, so if you read all that, thank you, sm <3 I'm so happy I came to this hellsite and found you guys!! <333 ♡♡♡

[velvetydream]

꒰ :🥀 [ Meet by Fate - Welcome to Aurora ] ”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

Part 1 - Meet by fate

Summary : It was a normal day for you or so you though, while enjoying one of your last walks through the town and docks, you meet some strange people.

Pairing : Pirate! Kim Hongjoong x fem! Reader

Word count : 1981 Words

Genre : Fluff, Romance , Slow burn

Warnings ➵ None??

a/n : First part of this new story! Also don't worry only the first 4 chapters will be a bit shorter, bcs those are the ones I wrote back in 2021, new ones will defi be longer!♡

《 Masterlist 》

┌───────────────────────── ·  ·  ·  · ♡

Being the princess of a mighty and powerfull king was definitely not always easy. You had duties to full fill, always had to be formal and like the perfect little princess everyone wanted to make you out to be.

But for what? You had no freedom, no say what to do in your life, who to marry and what not and all this would be even much worse soon.

Just recently did your father announce that you would to be married to Prince Chris of some really wealthy island, did you want that? No, of course not.

You may have meet him a few times, he wasn't a bad guy at all, you just didn't want to get married this young and on top only for the sake of your kingdoms economy. But your mother always told you, a princess had to marry a prince, even though you never understood that, why couldn't a prince or princess rule their kingdom alone? And maybe even find love someday and marry the person you love. Beside you weren't even next for the throne, it was your brother Jae.

And that arranged marriage got you to where you were right now, taking one of your last strolls through your town, through the dock and seeing all the lively and happy townspeople, this all would come to an end soon. Wanting to taste this freedom one last time, before your would be selled off to another kingdom, much to your dissmay.

Not watching where your feet took you, you bumped quit hardly into someone, making you stumble and fall to the ground. Of course wanted one of your guards to immediately run to you, but you stopped them, as soon as you noticed the hand of the stranger you bumped into extend towards you.

"I'm so sorry miss, I should've watched where I was going, are you hurt in any way?" The stranger asked as you take his hand in yours and let yourself be helped up, just now you noticed how pretty the man in front of you truely was.

He looked like some kind of prince, he had blond hair and a almost perfect face, you never knew someone so pretty was living in your town. "Don't worry, I'm fine." Eyeing your guard, you make it clear to him to stay back.

"May I ask for your name? I think I never saw you around." Looking at the pretty stranger, he immediately starts to smile, making him a lot more attractive. "My name is Seonghwa Miss, may I ask about your too?" Starting to smile, you answer him, making his eyes go slightly bigger, he probably knew now that you were the princess. "So you're probably the princess I assume, I'm again very sorry for my manners your highness." Seonghwa apologises again, after you confirmed to him that you indeed are the princess.

"Seonghwa, Yunho is looking for you, he wants to know what you got in this town." A man talked, slowly approaching the two of you, he was slightly shorter than Seonghwa, had brown hair and just now did you notice how odly dressed both were. "Ah Hongjoong, I'm sorry, I got caught up in a conversation with the princess." The man, Hongjoong, now stood beside him, eyeing you up and down. "The princess huh? It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness." Hongjoong starts talking to you, giving a smile your way, these guys really seemed somewhat odd.

Seonghwa quickly left after Hongjoongs arrival, making the it to be only the two of you now, if you ignore your guard at that.

"So, what brings the princess into the town? Shouldn't you be in your castle?" Hongjoong now asks, he still seemed somewhat strange, but you tried to ignore this feeling. You explained to him, that you would be married to some wealthy prince soon and wanted to taste the last bit of freedom you could get, making him slightly chuckle, which offended you just a slight bit. "And what buisness brings you here?" Asking this, got you another chuckle from the man in front of you.

"We are just stocking up on some supplies before we set sail again." Hongjoong explains, making it clear though, that he doesn't want to go further into detail about his stop in your town.

"We'll still be here for two days, find us if you need anything princess." The odd man bows slightly and makes his way to a ship, further away from the other ships, written on it stays 'Aurora', probably the ships name. Just as he walks away do you notice the sword and revolver on his belt, which makes you even more suspicious of the man and his ship. Even the way of dressing was different, to what you normally saw sailors in, which ment they probably are something different.

For now you decided to go back to the castle, not wanting to upset your parents by not showing up to dinner.

Which wasn a good idea too, at dinner your father, the king, talked about some pirates having a stop in the harbor, much to his dismay. Thinking back, Hongjoong and Seonghwa kind of gave off this dangerous aura of pirates, even though they seemed nice, there was something strange about them, maybe you really meet the pirates.

"Also . . Chris will arrive in three days, so we cam prepare the wedding." Your mother announced and immediately after she said that, your appetite was gone, of course this had to be brought up just now. Laying your utensils down, you tap your mouth with the napkin.

"Excuse me, I'll go to my chambers now, I want to sleep early and visit the town again, goodnight father, mother, brother." Now standing up and making your way out of the big dining hall and in the direction of your chambers.

Falling on your soft bed, you let out a quit sight, what would you give to not marry that prince, what would you give for freedom, hell you would give up you royal blood if that meant freedom.

Opening the balcon doors, you walk to the edge, eyes on the dock now, eyeing the ship with the writing Aurora on it. What would you give for their freedom. To roam the seas, free of rules and duties.

Shaking your head you make your way inside again, you shouldn't think like that it's your duty to serve your kingdom and ensure it's wealth, even if that meant giving up your freedom. Getting ready for bed now, you think about the things to do tomorrow in town, maybe visit the little bakery or the florist.

With your thoughs by the next day, you fall into a deep sleep.

Getting up the next day, you got dressed in something light again, ate with your family before making your way into town again, followed by your guard of course.

The first stop was the bakery, getting yourself a little muffin, which you ate while walking, it doesn't matter anymore if you have to keep a good look as the princess, soon you wouldn't be here anymore either way. So why not enjoy your time.

Walking along the dock again, you found yourself in front of the writing Aurora again, not really knowing how you got there, your guard now closer than before, probably knowing who this ship belonged to.

"Hey pretty girl! Got lost?" A voice called from the ship and as you looked up, you were meet with yet another handsom man, looking down at you from the ship. His hair was similar to Seonghwas, just did his hair have an ashy undertone. "Wanna get on board?" The blonde man asked with a big grin on his lips, before a slap landed on his head. "Don't invited strangers on this ship, Hongjoong will get mad at you Wooyoung." A brown haired man told Wooyung now and by now you really asked yourself how all of them could be so handsome.

"Good thing she isn't a stranger, come on up, you can take a look at the ship." Called a voice you already knew, Seonghwa walked by you, a big bag in his hand, and to the direction of the small bridge connecting the ship and dock.

A look at your guard and he was standing still, while you followed Seonghwa excitet onto the ship called Aurora.

When you stood on the railing the little bridge was connected to, the man called Wooyoung held out his hand for you to take, which you gladly took and thanked him of course.

"And Jongho, be nice to the princess." Seonghwa told the brown haired man over his shoulder, making his eyes go wide, same goes for Wooyung.

"Wait you're the princess? Like a real life princess of this kingdom?" Wooyoung asked in shock, looking you up and down real quick, making you giggle slightly. "I am indeed still the princess of this kingdom." After you answered, your eyes immediately wandered across the ship, out of curiosity.

Wooyung immediately offered to show you the ship, taking the offer gladly, following Wooyoung around, meanwhile Jongho stayed back with a slight look of distrust towards you.

"Don't be to intimidated by Jongho, he is actually a really nice guy." Wooyoung explains to you, walking up a small set of stairs to the quarter deck, where the steering wheel was, from that point you could see the whole ship, which was quit impressive.

Following Wooyoung down the stairs again, you now could make out two new voices you never heard before, talking to Jongho. As you looked up, you weren't believing this world anymore, there again stood two handsome man and by now you believe everyone on this ship is handsome.

One of the mand had dark brown hair with reddish streaks in them and about average height, while the other one was quit tall, with brown, slightly swept back hair.

"Wait we have the princess on board right now?" The one with reddish streaks in his hair asks surprised, Wooyoung who heard everything laughed, making the group turn towards the two of you.

"She is pretty!" The brown haired one immediately said, going over to the two of you and holding out his hand, which you shake smiling, while he introduces himself. "I'm Mingi, it's a pleasure to meet your princess." Now the other man stood by Mingi, he was giving you a charming grin. "I'm San, did you meet the whole crew by now?" San asked and just when you wanted to answer, echoed a thud amogst the deck and boots clicking against the wooden flooring.

"Even if she didn't, she won't, cause she will be going now, this is not the place for a princess. Who even let her on here?" Hongjoongs voice echoed over the ship, right now he was obviously a pirate, a pirate hat sitting among his brownish hair, as he now looked over at Seonghwa, who spoke up.

"I let her on, she was curious and I saw no harm in it." Seonghwa answered, making Hongjoong roll his eyes just slightly, by now you could assume Hongjoong was the captain of this ship.

"Maybe for her, but I definitely don't want to be executed, when the king finds her here." Jongho spoke up, but keeping quit again after Hongjoong send a glare his way.

"He is right, the small talk was fine, but this isn't, I'm sorry but you have to go princess." After this sentence, Hongjoong makes his way into his cabine, giving Seonghwa one last look, probably making it clear to get you off the ship.

"I still hope you had a good time." A few smiles were send your way as Seonghwa layed a hand on your lower back and guided you off the ship, you waved one last time, Wooyoung and Mingi waving back, with a sad pout on both their face, making you giggle.

Making your way back to your guard now, you tell him to get going to the castle again, making him swear to keep the event today to himself and not tell anyone.

Back at the castle was wating a unpleasant surprise for you though . . .

[starleska]

[stepping over the picket fence from my backyard into your backyard, like I’ve learnt anything about Despicable Me or Maxime since my last ask besides it is, indeed, the masc “le Mal” and not the feminine “la Mal”]

Hi, hey, howdy, don't worry about getting to this ask quickly or replying or anything, you take care of yourself, do what you need to do, do what you want to do 💕 I'm going on a thought experiment, a couple of thought experiments. <3 

but I was pondering my orb or taking a four hour nap or whatever you wanna call it and like. Is flustered, needy Maxime a new concept???? Not something that’s been greatly considered????? Bc tbh, he always gave me those vibes. For some reason. Like “Oh yeah, of COURSE he’s clingy and embarrassed and blushy and etc etc”. I’m not even sure why I was so sure but it just felt right. 💖 Surely…I wasn’t…projecting any type of …”personal biases” upon himAHEM so sorry, allergies. 

That big coat is for hiding and he totally can just, dissappear in there and hide from the world. He could pull the coat up and his head in and hope he can cover how read his face is. Like don't look at him rn, he's so vulnerable and uncomfortable about it bc he's used to being so big and impervious, but also don't go away, bc he likes you sm and this is so nice and he loves being adored. But also it's so much!!!!!!!!! Vicious cycle.

I'm a Blushy Needy Maxime truther. Or liar. I'll leave it to the people who've actually seen the movie to decide. Just the bigger the ego, the harder they fall, thats what I always say. Don't fact check that. 

What do you reckon flusters him most? Nice words? Physical affection? Teasing? Gifts? All of the above? I feel like it could be anything. 👀 or maybe it’s none of the above. 

Maybe I underestimate him, maybe he's got better composure than I assume, but every set of armor has a weakness! Anyone can get flustered, Maxime can get flustered, and tbh he probably should get flustered. Where there’s a will there’s a way! …Maybe Valentina would help. Either way I KNOW THAT GUY IS GETTING FLUSTERED I know it 

Accidentally a little overboard with the teasing and flustering and he gets all in a huff, giving the cold shoulder. You gotta say you’re sorry and wrap your arms around him, and in an ideal world he’d hold strong to his grudge until he felt you’ve paid your dues, but he can’t help but melt into your embrace. He compromises, turning back to you, burying his still-hot face into you and refusing to look at you instead. His arms tight around you, not letting you go even long after you assume all is well. His ire is still on you, you know! You owe him a lot for all that trouble you put him through! And besides, he still feels lightheaded from all this blood rushing to his face. You must let him stay in your soft, supportive embrace for just a moment longer. You wouldn’t turn him out now, would you? After you did this to him?  For shame. 

(He is Not intending to let you go anytime soon, he is making up all the excuses)

…hm…I may be talking in circles and not saying much of anything. I also feel like I’ve Greatly Exposed myself today. I gotta go disinfect my ear piercings…I gotta wash my neckties….I gotta refill my mint essential oil diffuser to keep away…the….the bugs…ahem…I gotta make a Pokémon team for Normal Reasons. 

I'm also once again coming to you cold, literally standing next to an actual oven for warmth like a Victorian child when my jacket is on a chair literally just one Maxime away. I’ve Got to GO. I CANT KEEP BEING LET OUT OF CONTAINMENT LIKE THIS. Thank you for listening to my TEDTalk/hostage situation. If anyone asks, I was never here. Take care, you’re great <3 

[Runs away, jumping fences like I committed a crime here.]

not you dropping an entire three course meal and dessert into my askbox, á la mode!!!!!!! 🙈💖💖 for someone who claims they don't know anything about Maxime, you certainly have put a lot of thought into this message...😉

you know, at the time you sent this ask I would've said that flustered, needy Maxime is a new concept, but we've had an amazing wave of art for him over the past week and there's so much of him being all cute and blushy 🙈🙈💖💖 i think it's that he is so easily angered and hates being called cute…he's total fluster-bait!!! we NEED to make him blush 🥺 AAAAA ohhh my god the idea of him wrapping his coat around himself and hiding is so soft!!!! no no you are SO onto something because Maxime is so horribly arrogant and confident, he's a bully who loves the spotlight and desperately wants attention…so wouldn't it be interesting to finally hit that sweet spot and get him wanting to hide? i really do think overt affection like that would make him curl up, and if you did it in a pointed enough way, his face would light up like a traffic light 🥰💖 i think that Maxime is probably really unprepared for anyone who is able to match his energy. he's looking down at you all heavy-lidded, boasting about himself and casually belittling you, but you shoot back with a well-aimed flirtation and it just. hits him like a truck. his cheeks warm, he starts to stammer. he desperately tries to recover, but he's actually looking for an out because he needs to find somewhere to breathe and quiet his beating heart 👀💖 YOU ARE CORRECT Valentina would so get involved!!! you've probably seen us talk about Valentina a bit before, and our wishes that she'd had more dialogue/character development in the movie…but two things that are very canon about Valentina is that she loves cute things, and she also thinks MAXIME is really cute 👉👈 i am certain that behind closed doors those two lavish all kinds of attention on each other, and Valentina turns Maxime tomato-red every time!!!! squealing no no no please don't be embarrassed i LOVE this!!!! gahhhh i adore that quick possessive flip from being so embarrassed and curling in on himself to it being something where he desperately wants to keep you, he can't let you go…!!! oh, my heart 😳😳😳 it's going to sound so silly given all of the stuff i've made for Maxime and being a selfshipper but i adore him so much that i STILL get so incredibly squirmy even trying to imagine any degree of one-on-one discussion with him, let alone contact…!!!! it's taken me a week to answer this ask for exactly that reason 🙈💖 so THANK YOU for fueling my brain i am going to chew through my hoodie sleeves now 😳😳😳 cackles. are we both sufficiently dead now? did you manage to do all of those convenient excuse-related things (including making the Pokémon team which i would LOVE to hear about)? 👀 it's OKAY lovely, open yourself up!!! there are no rules when it comes to loving characters - who says we can't adore many at once?! 🥰 thank you for always sending the loveliest, most interesting asks!! i've been mulling over this one for a hot minute and it's really, really cheered me up after a tough month, so big big hugs 🫂💖💖

[keysmashingfantasies]

Hi hi. I’m not sure if you do request like this and this isn’t detailed or anything so I get if you don’t want to but like could I request something smut chishiya? Maybe him and reader are friends and get into an argument about their feelings for each other and they end up having really romantic love making and confess to each other or something. Probably makes like zero sense sorry.

i do requests like this, yes! just bear with me because i am not the most skilled smut writer but i am absolutely open to writing it, ask away! and it makes perfect sense, don't worry! also, i assumed you wanted fem!bodied reader but since you didn't specify, i didn't. so hopefully i think everyone can read. this is so fucking long i'm sorry. was it good? i don't think so, no. is it the best i could do? absolutely. enjoy!

ok, content warning/this fic contains: sexy times, non descriptive penetrative sex as a way to keep this as inclusive as possible, no body descriptions for reader, unprotected sex (not good! don't do this!), chishiya being vulnerable (or, as the kids call it, a bit subby), a smidge of angst at the beginning, probably kind of shitty aftercare bc i don't know how and i'm going off of vibes. absolutely not proofread so most likely grammar mistakes.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST OR I'LL CALL YOUR MOM!!!

"What do you mean? I'm being careless by talking to people?", you exclaimed. Chishiya was being more and more unreasonable lately. You knew he thought you were gullible and naive, and you suspected that's why he decided to get closer to you; who'd suspect you, after all? You weren't all that wide eyed ingenue, you just believed that people could still be good in this world. Kuina shared the same belief, and he wasn't nagging on her like he did with you.

"Of course you can! But not so much to make yourself vulnerable to threats! What are you doing, cozying up to someone you don't even know during a game?", his tone raised the slightest bit, what was already a lot for Chishiya. He may have been acting unreasonably but he knew what he was saying had reason. Chishiya had feelings for you, and once he got to know you the desire to protect you only grew. He knew that you were selfless to the point of bordering stupidity, and would sacrifice yourself for someone. What made Chishiya's heart clench even more is that you'd sacrifice for him given the chance. Without even thinking. The flame of his anger was fanned at the thought that someone may have used your good will to trick you into dying in their place if he wasn't around.

"I wasn't cozying up! I was talking to a teammate! On a game of clubs! You know, one of those we depend on other people to live?", you said, exasperated. You took a calming breath and sighed. "You know what, think what you want of me. I'm tired, I don't want to fight", you started to pace around, something you often did to release anxious energy after a game.

"We're not fighting. We're having a conversation", Chishiya deadpanned, raising his eyebrows when you turned to look at him.

"A conversation of you laying it thick the implication that I'm some dumb thing with stars in my eyes? That I can let anyone trick me into sacrifice?", you said, and his eyes darted across the room, avoiding your eyes. Red-handed. "Chishiya, listen to me", you sat besides him, taking his hand in yours. "I may still be a bit too hopeful of people sometimes. Everyone copes in their own way, right?", you earned yourself a dry chuckle. "But I am hopeful because of what I've seen. Yeah, there's death and sadness and betrayal but there's good things. Friendship and love. For every bad person there's a few good ones, I truly believe that. And don't worry about me. You and Kuina drilled in my brain to be street smart", you smiled. Now it was your turn to avoid his eyes. "The only person in this entire world that can trick me is you, Chishiya. I trust you wholeheartedly", you whispered, clenching his hand in yours tight but still refusing to turn your warm face towards his. He was your lifeline but made you mortified at the same time.

"I don't think you're dumb. I'm sorry if I came across that way. I wouldn't have made an ally out of you if I didn't trust your abilities. And... I wouldn't made a friend out of you if I thought you're stupid. I just didn't want to lose you, that's all", he said. "I trust you too. Wholeheartedly", he said, giving you one of his Monalisa smiles. Sutil enough he may not even be smiling at all.

"Not in the way I trust you. Not by far", you said, finally managing to gather yourself enough to look at him. You may die at any point, Chishiya was kind enough to remind you. So what if he didn't love you back? You had the right to say it and he had the right to know. Even if he scolded you for wearing your heart on your sleeve. Even if he betrayed you.

"Why do you say that?", he asked, frowning. Did you know believe him? After all this time, he thought he was opening up to you. That you saw something more inside of him, the optimism, the sliver of hope he kept hidden for emergencies and you.

"Because I love you. And I trust you. Blindly", you said after being in silence for a while, and the atmosphere of the room shifted. You could feel the hairs in your body standing in attention, the room felt colder, the air felt heavy and sticky when you breathed in and you thought that if you took a deep breath like you've been dying to, you'd choke. You could hear a pin drop. And Chishiya was still as a statue.

It happened in a blink of an eye. Chishiya was tense, his lips pressed against yours and shoulders almost up to his ears, like someone had pushed him into you and he was still trying to process it. You had your eyes wide open, looking around the room, hands up like someone was pointing a gun at you, not knowing where to place them. For a few seconds it was like this, until something clicked. Chishiya kissed you. Chishiya was kissing you. You parted for a second before looking into each other's eyes, bewildered like you had been possessed. And then you kissed him.

This was much more like an actual kiss. It was soft, slow, steady. You cupped his face between your hands and got up on your knees to get closer to him, his hands snaking their way up to your waist. Soon enough, you had to breathe, breaking apart just enough for your mouths to disconnect but staying close. Neither of you thought you could let each other go after what you knew it was about to transpire.

"Chishiya... I...", you were breathless, you brain had turned to mush and you couldn't speak, and Chishiya took the opportunity to kiss you yet again.

You could've been kissing for ages. The games might've been over, everyone dead, the land completely taken over by vegetation at this point. But you were still kissing Chishiya, slow and deep, melting and molding into his arms, straddling his lap. Not letting your hands leave him not for a second, as he did with you. Your hands were on his face, his on your waist. His hands moved up your back, yours into his hair. Your hands on his chest, his in yours.

The kisses started growing hot and sloppy. You needed each other bad. So when Chishiya pulled apart to catch his breath and you couldn't stay away from him, you started to kiss down his neck, hands pulling off his hoodie off like it was offending you, desperately mouthing at the parts of his collarbones and chest not covered by his shirt. And the sounds were driving you insane. The little sighs and moans made you want to beg him to fuck you already but you decided to contain yourself. You wanted him to feel appreciated. Loved.

"Ah... That's good", he whispered, and when you parted from his neck to see his head thrown back, his mouth slightly opened, eyes half lidded like he was intoxicated, you couldn't help but to slip your tongue into his mouth yet again, shifting your hips against his slightly, making you both moan in each other's mouths. "Can I undress you?", he asked between pecks on your lips, and you nodded so hard you made yourself dizzy. "No, no. I need to hear you say it", he said, stopping to look at you looking at him. How you were still bashful at a situation like this he couldn't figure out for the life of him, but he gave you a low chuckle when you hid your face in his neck, only to shiver after feeling your teeth pressed against his pulse point. If the room wasn't so quiet he wouldn't be able to hear the small "Please, Chishiya, undress me" that followed.

His hands were fast as they were precise and in no time you were fully naked in his lap, kissing him like your life depended on it. Your hands made your way down his chest, getting to the hem and making their way up again, now under the fabric, lifting it up and off of his torso, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull it over his head.

You proceeded to kiss every newly discovered inch of his warm skin. From his fingertips, up his arms, his shoulders, nipping and sucking and licking down his chest, over his sensitive nipples, down his stomach and the soft trail of hair that dissapeared under the waistband of his pants.

"Y/N...", he sighed, hand coming up under your chin to pull you off of obsessively mouthing him over his pants. "Y/N...", he sighed yet again when you came up, making eye contact with him and giving him a peck on the lips.

"Can I finish undressing you, Chishiya? Please?", you were desperate, and Chishiya hissed at the thought of what was to come. How could he hold back when you were so sweet, so beautiful, so eager, looking at him like he painted the sky midnight blue and hung the moon and stars up there?

"Yes. Yes, please", he breathed. You touched your forehead to his, fiddling with the ties of his loose pants. Meanwhile, he pressed two of his fingers to your lips, slowly but surely shoving them inside your warm and wet mouth. As you sucked them, you started to pull his pants and underwear down his slim hips, and he lifted his hips to aid you.

Soon enough, you were both naked, you straddling his thighs. There was nothing in between you anymore. He took his fingers off of your mouth as you looked down to take him in, all the parts hidden that you'd been fantasizing about. His chest with a bit of hair, now covered in red splotches from your sucking, his stomach and happy trail covered in love bites, his pale hairy legs, his cock that now slapped against his stomach, not too long but just enough to make your mouth water, with a leaking pink tip, girthy and veiny, nestled in his pubes, his balls hanging low, filled with cum.

"Chishiya, you're so beautiful", you moaned in pure agony. His body, the way he was looking up at you so reverently; he looked like an angel. He wasted no time in using his fingers lubed by your spit to start prepping you, carefully but firmly shoving them inside of you, finger fucking you in efforts to find that sweet spot inside of you.

"You're beautiful too. Ah, that's it, take my fingers inside you", he moaned as you started to move your hips in tandem with his hand. You slowly started to play with his balls, earning yourself a low groan.

"Chishiya. Chishiya", you moaned, convulsing when he managed to graze what he was looking for. "I'm going to- ah! Kiss me, please", he placed his hand in the back of your neck and pulled you to him, his tongue messily meeting yours while you mewled into his mouth and you shivered from your orgasm.

You only parted after you finished riding out your orgasm, after your lungs were burning, and you felt weak and feverish. You looked into his eyes for a little while and Chishiya opened his mouth to speak, only to come up with nothing but shallow gasps and a smile. His heart jumped when you smiled back.

"Chishiya, make love to me, please", he'd think you were in pain if it wasn't your smile. The way you were looking at him.

"Of course", he said, laying you down on the floor on your back, parting your knees, taking a moment to just look at you, making you feel shy. "You're so gorgeous. Are you ready for me?", he asked.

"Yes!", you moaned. You couldn't believe this was happening. Not in the Borderlands of all places.

Slowly, he started to put it inside of you, and the stretch of him was amazing. You blindly reached for one of his hands that was bracketing your head, him holding the back of it to his lips for a second before continuing.

"Almost there. Are you ok? Fuck. Does it hurt?", he said. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you into the floor but he wanted to be gentle with you. Wanted to see you fall apart slowly for him.

"Ah... You're amazing. It feels amazing", you sighed, dreamily; you never felt so full in your entire life, it was an all encompassing feeling, you couldn't do anything but to lay there and feel him inside you. Your eyes meeting his with another dazzling smile, and he almost came on the spot.

"Ah, ah!", he bottomed out inside of you and he couldn't believe how warm and wet you were. "So good...", he started to grind his hips into yours, not really pulling out. He couldn't pull away from you right now, not when you felt so good.

The both of you were in a frenzy, hips grinding into each other desperately, the both of you sweaty and moaning. One of you hands was tightly clasped in one of Chishiya's, the other with their nails deep into the skin of his shoulder, the other hand of Chishiya was gripping your tigh, his arm wrapped around it. Your mouth was open in ecstacy, moaning like an animal in heat. Chishiya didn't know where to place his mouth. Dragging across yours, on your neck, your shoulders, your collarbones, down your chest.

"Chishiya, Chishiya, Chishiya", you wanted to let him know you were about to cum, but your mind was numb and the only thing you could say was his name over and over.

"Are you close?", he breathed out and you nodded feverishly. "Me too. Will you cum with me?", he moaned and it was the most beautiful sound you heard in your life. You didn't stand a chance, clenching around him with a desperate cry of his name while he pressed his hips to yours, pumping you full of his cum.

It felt like you both were locked together, standing still against each other like a statue for ages. You didn't know how long until your soul returned to your body but when it did, you knew yours and his were intertwined. "Hi", you breathed, and he smiled. Not a quirk of his lips, a full fledged smile, teeth and all. "I should clean you up", he said, using his shirt to clean the cum seeping out of you, being mindful of how sensitive you were. "Hurts?", he asked. "No, I'm fine", you said. After dressing you and himself, discarding the shirt and zipping his hoodie with nothing underneath, he held you to his chest.

"I believe there's good in this world too", he said.

"Hm?", you asked, sleepy, your cheek pressed against his chest, with his arms around you.

"I believe there's good in the world too. Maybe less than you but I do. Believe that there's good out there. I'll go back with you, if we get lost I'll find you. And then I'll make love to you again, and hold you close, to remember that there's good in the real world too", he said. "I love you too", he said, squeezing you to him.

[k0dster]

OK question, who is everyone personal favorite, well written, mentally ill character?

Bc to this day nobody has topped Lucas Baker for me. I was kind of thinking about this Re7 au I had with an old friend today and started thinking about him again. Capcom has always done such a wonderful job with writing their characters, but something about Lucas makes me think about him every once in awhile.

It's hard to explain in words but the way he was written is just so scary. Not because he's got a bunch of molded henchmen and that creepy barn, but because he's so unpredictable and yet so smart and tactical. The kids a genius and shows it all throughout the game and his DLC, but he's also probably got some form of severe schizophrenia that has clearly gone untreated for near his whole life. He's incredibly smart and resourceful though - as in most cases - is limited by his mental illness.

I almost feel bad for him. He's smart, talented, "gifted" if you must, though clearly limited by who I'm guessing to be Jack. There's a whole little story in game that really stuck out to me, when you're in Lucas's old room looking through his old journal entries he writes about Marguerite taking him for what I assumed was probably an MRI or maybe a CT scan of his head showing she clearly thought something was wrong with him. In an entry pretty close to that one he talks about his friend, Oliver, who keeps messing with him so he locks him in the attic. He talks about how he could hear him banging and screaming for help for about a day before he stopped and was eventually presumed dead to Lucas after he started to be able to smell his corpse. (I actually feel as crazy as him rn I can't find it but ik somewhere there's a document talking about how bad the smell was to him. I almost wanna say he talked about something dripping from the attic too on the same page but idk maybe i made that up)

The whole thing was a clear episode and I almost wanna pressume it happened before the doctors visit. Though that isn't really the point, I think alot of his issues stem from Jack. Not because he's ill too, but because he doesn't take it seriously. I live in the south myself and the stigma around men and their mental health here is so awful I don't even wanna start to imagine what it would do to a kid with schizophrenia who's dad choses to ignore it. I personally think Lucas would have grown up to be alot better of a person, hell, he might not have been in the house he was so well off if Jack had taken the time to acknowledge him. From just the look of the house and the way he acts in the daughter's (?? Sorry i seriously haven't played this game in almost a year) DLC really gives me that 'man of the house' 'men don't have feelings' kinda feel. I can only assume, the only other people in their home being women, that Jack really tried to drill that mentality into Lucas and completely glanced over Marguerites worries about him.

"Untreated schizophrenia can cause severe problems that affect many areas of life. It can disrupt how the brain works, interfering with thoughts, memory, senses, and behaviors. This can lead to difficulties in daily life, such as trouble organizing thoughts and behaving in ways that increase the risk of injury or illness." Which would explain Lucas's entire character during the game- minus the mold.

Ik this isnt my usual posting and an absolute yap fest but I seriously needed to talk about him again. He's so well written it makes me wanna foam at the mouth.

[elli3luvs]

falling in love at a coffee shop pt. 4 [ELLIE W]

summary: when your favorite barista turns out to have a girlfriend (an ex? you weren't too sure) you got cold feet and ran

genre: fluff/angst

wc: 2.5k

a/n: lord.... im so sorry this took so long and tbh im not happy with it at all LMFAO im thinking either one or two more parts to this as well! so sorry i haven't been updating recently life has come at me hard! im hoping to get fewer hours at work so i can have some free time bc omfg!

part three

The phone buzzing against the desk was seriously starting to distract you. It had been going off incessantly since you left Ellie's house in a rush, and you just assumed it was her wanting to explain her side of the story. To be honest, you didn't really want to hear it. Your heart felt like it was torn into two earlier this morning. But you should've known, someone that attractive and funny and kind had to come with some sort of baggage. You just didn't expect it to be a whole girlfriend.

Your thumbnail was sitting in between your teeth as you slightly nibbled on it. Dina was laying across from you with worry etched into her features. She was usually amazing with words, never having trouble gossiping or giving advice, but when you came storming in with tears about to fall over your lash line, she couldn't quite find the words to console you. She awkwardly stammered until she realized all you wanted was moral support. 

The phone had only been silent for a minute before it started buzzing again. You groan, sitting up to finally grab the stupid device. The buttons on the side were squeezed under your fingers until you could swipe to fully cut off the phone.

Now it couldn't bother you anymore.

Dina sits up, staring at you with pity, "Would it hurt to just hear her out, maybe? Didn't you say you heard her say something about breaking up?"

You gnaw on your bottom lip, "I can't," Dina seems upset at your choice, "Seeing that girl, Cat I think, in front of Ellie was like a slap in the face. She could've been lying about breaking up, Dee. I just don't know." You sigh, crossing your arms to try and soothe yourself a bit.

Dina jumps off of the bed and makes her way to you, a grin spreading over her lips as if she just thought of the best idea. Knowing Dina, you had a feeling about what she was about to say. 

"Wanna get trashed?"

--

The bar was packed even though it was a random Tuesday night. Sounds of college-aged people screaming the song playing filled your ears and chatting with their friends filled your ears. Dina had already shimmied to the bar, ordering a drink for you and for her, before making her way to the dance floor. She was gone with the wind now. You only hoped she would make it back to your dorm without you dragging her home. You decided to keep a low profile and hang by one of the back walls. It was better that way.

You didn't feel like dancing away your inner struggles. Realistically, you needed to talk to Ellie about this. But how could you just call her up when you ignored her for a whole day? A shiver went down your spine when you thought about the conversation that was going to have to take place.

A part of you was still mad at Ellie. You didn't want to have the conversation. But you were going to have to be mature about it one day. You couldn't just ignore her forever.

A voice cut your running thoughts off, "Aren't you?" You turn around to meet Jesse's eyes, "Hey, it is you! How ya' doing?" As kind as ever, he gives you a side hug while enthusiastically greeting you. 

"I'm good!" You shout over the music. He motions to the cup in your hand and you nod, "Some sort of tequila."

He grimaces, "Oh, lord. You tryin' to die or somethin'?"

You purse your lips, "Yeah. Something like that."

Jesse pats your shoulder while laughing off your statement, "How did things go with Ellie? Man, she was so excited about it." His hands shoot up to gesture, "That's all she could talk about last shift was how you were gonna go over to her place. She was like a kid in a candy store!"

Your heart shatters. It felt awful to ignore her like that and a part of you wondering if you were acting crazy. Ellie said she could explain, yet, you just left her. Then you turned your phone off as if you couldn't give her the time of day.

Your eyebrows pinch, "It was good... until..." The words die in your throat. Jesse was a good friend of Ellie's and you had come to get pretty acquainted with him but was he a good one to confide in?

His face falls into confusion, "Until?" You see a flash of concern before his face returns to the original confusion.

"Until," You bite the bullet. Now is as good of a time as ever to pour your heart out, "Until her ex or maybe girlfriend? Until whatever she was came over. I totally left Ellie after not giving her a moment to explain. I'm starting to feel like a little bit of a bitch about it..." A fake half-laugh comes out to deflect how truly awful you felt.

Jesse's eyes widen and he sets his drink down, fully turning toward you, "Woah, woah. Was her name Cat?"

You nod and Jesse rubs his hands over his face. The loud techno music silents his hushed curses before he grabs your wrist to drag you out of the bar. The drink in your hand flies out as your legs try to keep up with his wide stride. Your eyes scan the room until you see Dina — who is cheering you on? She looks at you with a thrilled expression before giving you a thumbs up.

Oh my God.

Words of protest spew out of your mouth, trying to get him to just slow down yet Jesse only walks faster. Once you make it to the parking garage he turns back to you. You just hope he ignores the way you are trying to catch your breath. 

Jesse starts to fidget with his hands as if he's thinking over what he's about to say. 

Your anxiety spikes when he finally asks you what he wanted.

"Is it okay if I take you to Ellie's?"

--

The ride over to Ellie's house felt as if it took forever. The beating in your chest almost had you sick as you thought of all the possible things that could happen. What if Ellie completely rejected you after this? What if she looked at you with disgust and contempt when she opened her door? What if that Cat girl answers the door instead? You slide down farther into the passenger seat as the anxiety-ridden thoughts became too much.

You were beginning to recognize the area. It didn't make you feel any better — it just meant you were that much closer to having to be mature and talk through what happened. As much as you enjoyed hiding from those complicated feelings, you couldn't do that right now. 

Jesse taps his steering wheel while taking in a deep breath, "Look, I know you're nervous and all but... you really shouldn't be," You lift your head to look at him, "She's really into you. I think she will be over the moon that you decided to talk this out face to face."

You purse your lips, "Yeah, but what if she isn't? I left in a completely bitchy way."

Jesse shakes his head, "Trust me, I would've done the same thing if I woke up to Cat's shrill whining."

You were slightly taken aback, "What do you mean by that?"

"I think it's better if Ellie explains that to you."

The air from the vents blows on your face, warming it up. The city lights slowly started to disappear behind you.

"If I know anything about Ellie," His car goes into park. Your head whips to your right and there it was — her house, "She loves giving second chances. Now, go talk this through. I do not wanna deal with a mopey Ellie tomorrow." He jokes around. His words made you feel somewhat better but as you opened the car door and the cool air hits your face, the anxious feeling started to creep up again.

The steps took you a good 30 seconds to get up — stopping every so often to look back at Jesse's car to which he would lift his hands in a supportive motion. Like a father telling their son to, 'go get 'em, tiger!' except he wasn't your dad and you weren't ready to get 'em.

When the large oak door is finally in front of your face, you turn around one last time but Jesse's car was pulling off now. At least he waited until you were fully on the doorstep. It was now or never.

Never sounded pretty good.

Working up courage was never your strong front and god, you wished Dina was beside you to knock on the door but she wasn't. You were going to have to do this. Your hand makes contact with the door producing three heavy raps against the door.

She doesn't answer. She doesn't answer for a while. There isn't even a sign of life behind the door. All you hear is the cars honking faintly where you came from.

You begin to feel hopeless. Deciding to give her one final chance, you knock even louder this time. When you hear rustling on the other side of the door, your stomach lurched. 

"Coming..." Her voice sounded solemn. A grimace pulled at your features at the sound. You caused that.

The door swung open, it seemed like she didn't even look into the peephole, and she openly gawked at you for a couple seconds — a dusty pink rose underneath the smattering of freckles on her cheeks. Her socked foot tapped against the wooden floor as she leaned against the door. She finally snapped out of her catatonic state.

"Uh," She voices first, "What are you doing... here?" The words were strangled as they came out.

You take your bottom lip in between your teeth. There was no dancing around this, "Can we talk? About this morning?"

Ellie perks up a bit. There is a look of pain still lingering but she looks more eager to share what actually happened. You were eager to hear it. 

"Yeah," She opens the door further, waving you to come in, "Please come in. It's cold."

Stepping inside her house gave you a weird feeling. There was such a great memory inside of here but also one that left you with the worst bitter taste in your mouth. You wanted nothing more than to make more amazing memories in here but you needed to hear what exactly happened this morning.

Ellie guides you to the couch, the couch where you talked for hours, which looked as if she had lived on it for the past 10 hours. There were blankets stacked upon each other while water bottles were littered along the table in front of the couch. You saw the noise cancelling headphones strewn on the table and figured that's why she didn't answer.

You sit down on the edge, rubbing your hands on the front of your thighs. Ellie joins you except she is leaning back on the couch but you can tell with how she's wringing her hands, she's just as nervous.

"I guess the most burning question I have is," Ellie sits up at the sound of your voice. Like she was ready to give you any answer you needed, "Who was she? Why did she seem so hurt by me being here?"

Ellie clears her throat, hands tapping on her leg now as she searches for the right words, "That was Cat, my ex-girlfriend," It would be a lie to say you didn't feel some sort of relief at that, "She is having a hard time coming to terms with that, though. As you saw, she still frequently comes to my house even if I tell her not to." Ellie gives a pained laugh before flicking her eyes over to you to gauge your reaction.

You sigh at that, "How long has it been? Since you broke up?"

"Oh," Ellie scoffs, "A while. It's been around.... 7 months? 7 and a half? Long enough. Jesse calls her a pimple that just won't leave." It suddenly makes sense why Jesse wanted you to come talk to her. 

A tension lifts off of your shoulders at that. Ellie wasn't playing you for a fool. She just had a clingy ex. Your hand reaches out to grab hers, which she lets happen without any sort of resistance. Ellie even looks at you while a smile tugs at the corners of her lips.

Guilt settles deep within your chest now. You wanted to smile back but the dreadful emotion was eating at your chest. Ellie notices how your body went from relaxed to tense again. She twists back to you.

"Hey, you've gone rigid on me again," She jokes, her hand soothingly stroking your forearm, "What's wrong? Please, tell me or ask me anything. I'll say it all. I don't wanna keep secrets."

Your eyes flicker over to meet hers, tears brimming your waterline. Ellie shakes her head at the sight as if she's telling you not to cry. But the tears still sit in your lash line, threatening to spill over. Ellie's hand comes up to cup your face while the hand holding your hand squeezes tightly trying to reassure you.

You try to blink away the tears but instead one drips down causing Ellie to coo, "I feel like a bitch, Ellie. Didn't even give you the chance-"

Ellie cuts you off, "I wouldn't have given me a chance to explain either," Her voice wobbles a bit, "I don't blame you, who wants to get woken up by that? I just was scared I, fuck is it too early? Whatever, I was scared I lost you this morning."

You purse your lips at that while you shake your head. Ellie continues, "I know we haven't known each other for a while but I want to continue to see you. I think... I think I really like you." Her face flushes a bright red as she says that. Her palm precipitates a light sheen of sweat while she waits for your response. You can see her mentally preparing for the rejection.

You decided not to keep her waiting. She had done enough waiting today, "I want to continue to see you too."

The beaming expression she gives you clears any guilty emotions you had lingering. Now you just needed to show Ellie how much you liked her.

tags: @ellieismami, @minillie, @dankpunks, @elliesgff, @muthafuckingstargirl, @deafelliewilliams, @pinkazelma, @fairybr3ad, @me-and-your-husband, @intrnetdoll, @kyleeservopoulos, @elliewilliamsmunch, @champagnelovers101, @amelies-a-simp, @gloomychuuu, @s1decha, @ellieapologist3, @wrendermedone, @robinbuckleys-wife, @waywardpiratebird, @parkers myth, @guacala, @pinknightsinmymind

[moodywyrm]

i think a lot about being the first to please abby. like we start dating but decide to not have sex for a little bit, bc we both really like each other and i’ve heard it’s good to let the relationship settle a bit before sex so it doesn’t blind you. maybe a month or two in (god idk if i could wait that long), we finally get busy in bed.

abby being the top she is (i think she’s a switch fr but i know that woman just lovesssss to please), insists on making me finish first with her fingers alternating between massaging my clit and pumping in and out of me. after i finish, we’re making out and i trail my hands down to her pussy and ask if i can touch her. she kinda smiles.

“you don’t have to touch me, baby, don’t worry about me. i’m used to just taking care of people.” i would fr just furrow my brow and slide my hand across her hip.

“i really wanna make you feel good, abs. y’so pretty.”

and so she nods. after plenty of touching and teasing and pulling whines out of her, i’d end up suckling at her clit, two fingers massaging her g-spot, making her cum all over my face (i hc abby as an occasional squirter, and she would in this moment). she’d drag me up to her face and kiss me, hard. hands grabbing, tongue laving. and then she’d start to cry. big, heaving sobs.

“abby, honey? what’s wrong, angel?”

she’d bury her face in my neck and cry while i stroked her hair and naked back, nails scratching gently to soothe her. a few minutes would pass, i’d just hold her in my arms and press kisses to her hairline, waiting until she was ready to talk to me.

her pretty blue eyes would meet mine. “i…i’ve been with a man and plenty of women before…”

i’d nod, stroking the tears from her cheeks.

“not one single person has ever gone down on me. no one has ever even tried to make me feel good. all the women, especially, just wanted me to top them. which i don’t mind, i usually prefer it, but…they just wanted to use me.”

i’d bump her nose with mine and kiss her forehead.

“but you…it’s different with you. i feel so fucking safe with you. i don’t want to scare you by saying the L word too soon, but…”

“i love you.” i would immediately say to her.

tears would prick at her eyes again, her grip around my waist tightening.

“fuck, i love you so much.”

tldr: abby anderson deserves her pussy pleased and her body kissed and her titties sucked and i am the mf one

baby I love you so much oh my GOD. I am also the mf one. two mouths two titties. we can share.

I have so many thoughts about this. because we all watched the boat scene. some of us more than once (me, sorry, her titties look so good and suckable). Owen didn't even fucking try to please her. So I'm gonna extrapolate because I Don't Like Him. He never really focused on pleasing her when they were together. Got himself off and that was it. So Abby, already, was under the assumption that her pleasure was never gonna be the focal point of any sexual interaction. And when she starts having sex with women, it doesn't get much better. All the girls she hooks up with are bottoms who want to be taken care of, which like, no shame! But she kind of got pushed into the position of a stone top, which, again fair to anyone who wants to be stone top but she didn't really want to. So by the time she gets with you, she's kind of scared that it will be the same but she also loves you so fucking much, she wants to please you.

So the night you two sleep together for the first time, two months in, she's ready and eager to please. Fingers you open, eats you out so fucking good it makes you black out for second, and she sees how tired you are so she assumes it's over. And a part of her is a little bit heartbroken because she hoped it would be different. She's about to pull away to deliver aftercare when you grab her hands and pull her back to you, flipping positions so she's laying back on the bed.

She's laughing like "What? What's up baby?" and you're like??? what??? your turn baby??? and she just Pauses.

Sits you both up, looks you in the eyes and she looks so sincere when she speaks. "Baby, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, I'm okay just pleasing you" and you're like :(

"Abigail, I want to please you. If you let me, of course, but just know I really want to. God, I really fucking want to." And you're pressing a kiss to her lips, looking for her approval. When she nods, you're fucking ecstatic, easing her back onto the bed and kissing down her body, stripping her sports bra off and sucking at her nipples, humming at the soft moans she's letting out. You're trailing lower and lower, kissing down her tummy and her happy trail, until your face is level with her covered pussy.

"Can I take these off?" You ask, leaving soft kisses on her soft inner thighs, fingers thumbing at the band of her boxers. She nods, giving you a lil "mhm", her breath hitching when you pull them down, exposing her pretty cunt to the room.

And she's fucking gorgeous. Glistening in the low light, coated in slick and so needy, her swollen, blushing clit peaking out from her folds when you spread her open with your thumbs, her hole clenching and gushing out more wet. Abby's face is flushed red, not used to having someone down there. The feeling of your hands on her is so different from her own touch, but so good. You can see her twitching, throbbing and clenching without having been touched yet, and you can't believe she thought you would just leave her like this.

You lean in, licking from her achey hole to her clit, sucking it into your mouth and practically making out with her cunt. You're moaning into her, because god she tastes so fucking good, you don't think you'll ever get enough. And the sounds she's making? Heavenly. She's whimpering, panting and whining out your name, hands clawing at the sheets beneath her.

"F-fuck baby, thank you, mmm so fucking good baby" And she's whining, writhing under you, hands clawing at the sheets beneath her. What she doesn't know is it gets so much better. Because yeah, she's experimented with fingering herself before, but she could never get it quite right. She never really knew if she'd like it, until you push two fingers into her, slow and steady, curling and readjusting until you hear Abby yelp, her hips bucking into you. You rub against that gushy, sensitive patch inside of her, smiling against her clit when she starts whining so much more, her voice breathy and needy and so fucking pretty.

"Shit, shit, baby, sweetheart, so fucking good, please, please, 'm gonna cum, fuck" And you go even harder, sloppily making out with her clit, the noises from between her legs making her so warm and red and lightheaded, the pressure building and building until she snaps. She yells, thighs twitching and clenching against your head, squirting against you. Her pussy throbs and leaks around your fingers, your tongue lapping up every drop you can get.

You ease her down from her orgasm, leaving one final, sweet kiss on her clit before moving back up to her and kissing her bottom lip, yelping when her hands pull you into her. She sits you both up, kissing you hard, and you get so caught up in the kiss that it takes a second to register that there are tears on her face.

"Shit, Abigail, baby, what's wrong?" You pull away, cupping her face in your hands and wiping away the tears as they come. She's sniffling, giving you a sad little smile and kissing the heel of your hand.

She grabs one of your hands, kissing the knuckles and holding it in both of hers, "It's just... you're the first person who's ever, I don't know, cared? About my pleasure, I mean. Everyone else just kinda got off and then left. You took care of me"

You frown, kissing the hands wrapped around yours and then pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose. "I'm so sorry baby, that's not fair to you, not if that wasn't the agreement. I want to make you feel good, for as long as you let me. I will always, always, want to take care of you."

"Thank you baby, I just... you make me feel so safe. And happy. And I don't know if it's too soon to say it because I don't want to scare you away, but ..."

"Abigail, I love you." And you pull her back into you, kissing her so gently that the tears start again. You trail your hands up her back, toying with the hair at the base of her neck, making her shiver at the sweetness of your touch. Her own hands are on your back, massaging your hips, trailing all over your body.

"I" smooch "love" sniffle "you" smooch "sweetheart," and she's planting little kisses all over your face, making you giggle as you say it back, the two of you going back and forth with little "I love you"s, feeling so warm and fuzzy and content and loved.

I need her so bad you don't understand she is my wife my baby my shnookiepoo

[billyjoecobra]

JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

[wooziorgans]

Don't mind me asking I'm genuinely curious if you are a guy ( or so I assume from your pronouns) why do you only write f/m fics? Like is it for better audience or do you have lady parts down there? Like I thot you'd have at least indulged in one m/m fics but there are none in your profile so I was like curious bout it hope you don't feel offended by my language or question

ahh. i was waiting for someone to ask this eventually.

i am indeed trans (ftm), but it’s not something i really talk about online or at all bcs ive been fully medically transitioned for the last few years. any identity i assume online is just,, a man. the details don’t rlly matter that much.

generally speaking, i think writing f/m is a Lot better for audience participation. most of the ppl who interact with my posts are afab, but i don’t write f/m necessarily. i try and keep things as gender neutral as possible in the language i use. in full fics (the ones in third person) i use they/them for reader and i also generally try and keep things as neutral as possible. for example: using chest instead of breasts, things like that. but some things are hard to not gender. if im writing about clit stimulation then i have to describe the clit, yknow?

i think it’s more comfortable for me to write that way while also appealing to a broader audience in a way, bcs ive read my fair share of gn!reader fics, and they’re not really neutral. anatomy wise, i also know how things work a little better. i know how dicks work too, but im just worried about posting things like that i guess.

i do have m/m fics in my drafts. one of them is almost finished too. but i think there’s a lot of fear around posting something like that for me. on one hand, im worried about engagement in general. if no one reads it, why did i post it?

on the other hand, im worried about people thinking that im forcing a queer identity on someone. because even though im writing fiction, its happened to me in the past. ive abandoned whole fics because i had side m/m relationships, or i made someone gay and i got worried that that wouldn’t sit well with the masses.

to me though, writing in a queer character or relationship is so natural bcs not everyone is cishet. friend groups don’t really exist like that, especially w svt. statistically speaking, one of them has to be queer in some way (im not speculating any of their sexualities btw, but to assume that they don’t know queer people or aren’t queer themselves is a little unfair).

also just generally speaking, most of the asks i get revolve around afab ppl, and i try to write things as they are presented to me.

if people are interested in m/m fics, or queer themes, then by all means send them my way. i think ive just been,,,, a little hesitant bcs my account is still fairly new. but i would like it to be known that my account is a safe space for queer people. and if that upsets anyone reading this then do not interact.

this was a very important ask to get. thank you for asking.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I sent a complaint about my upstairs neighbors to our buildings management despite never having communicated with them directly? Okay so I live in an apartment building. My upstairs neighbors regularly have loud parties (?) It doesn't always sound like it, but at least loud music playing, and sometimes that includes stomping around (assumed dancing) and loud talking/laughing or rarely fighting. This usually occurs on weekend nights, from friday to saturday or from saturday to sunday (most common I'd say), and can last for hours. Sometimes it's just during the day/afternoon, which, annoying, but sure, it's day, can deal with it while just being annoyed.

At some point, this was mainly an issue when I had sleepover guests, since they would sleep in the living room, opposite side of the flat I sleep on, and usually where all that originates (assuming they are also doing this in their living room) But I feel like it has been getting progressively worse, both in volume and times this happens at. It's currently 3.45 am on a Saturday, and they've been going since at least 3, probably earlier, but that's when I woke up/became aware enough to actively notice it. (Proofreading and it's now 4.10am, still going strong up there-) Now, I'm not one to call the police, especially when there is no actual danger or physical harm that can't be dealt with otherwise effectively, bc ACAB, but I've taken several clips with audio tonight because I'm fucking tired and am heavily considering sending the management company for our building a complaint about them. The issue I'm not clear on is mostly...that I never really talked to them directly. I know they've gotten complaints and stopped before, and I've left a note together with a guest of mine in front of their door before. Yet it remains a recurring occurrence. I've never actually knocked or rang the doorbell to directly ask them to stop. I live alone and am afab in my 20s, all I know about my upstairs neighbors is that it's two men (though there's definitely sometimes people over, as I said sometimes these occurrences are definitely parties). At most I will have one friend over who's also afab on these occasions. (We are both trans/nb but p much present as our assigned gender in current circumstances) I also have social anxiety, though I don't think it's particularly unreasonable to be worried to confront unknown men, who will know where I live as well, about literally anything considering we live in a society TM. (Obviously I don't know that it wouldn't just go over very easily however, exactly the issue that you can never rly know that- like ik most people would probably react chill or at best annoyed I'm interrupting them or whatever but there's always a chance to run into the exceptions TM)

I don't need to work on the weekends (though other people in flats around us might, idk) but I still gotta like, maintain my sleeping rhythm ideally, and you know. Generally pleasant to be able to sleep at night if you would like to- I do not know what actions they would or could take if they do consider the complaint at all, but I'm not really assuming they'd like, cause them serious issues regarding their living situation, it's more likely at most they get a letter/some shitty little flyer to not loudly party in the middle of the night get put up in the hallway/at the building doors. But again that's my assumption and not a fact I know for sure, I could be completely wrong about that, and I don't know if there's potential other complaints.

So, WIBTA if I sent clips of the loud music in the middle of the night and a complaint to our building management without knowing potential consequences, even though I have not tried to communicate with my neighbors except a singular note one time?

What are these acronyms?