#bc those details are a bit spoiler-y ;)

[actualbird]

// CN SERVER SPOILERS, CN HALLOWEEN MR EVENT

hey. im now thinking abt harpy!luke doing stuff that real birds do

b4 i list down actual bird (heh) features/abilities to copy paste onto luke tho, some unrelated but nonetheless avian adjacent notes abt luke's design i wanted to point out

i must commend the tot art team for not being cowards. i.e., they committed to the harpy bit and gave him TALONS AS FEETSIES!!!!

i think this is a nice detail cuz upon further review, it seems luke doesnt have clawed hands (as opposed to dragon!marius and mer!vyn who do). luke's pre-installed knives are in his feetsies

(but he decided to have an actual knife too in his hand. overkill much, luke? sdjhfjsfgg his middle name is 'hypervigilant protector')

idk how to describe this bc i dont have a GIF of harpy!luke but how he moves is SO BIRD-LIKE....how he brings his wings close to himself and theres this twitch-shiver-ruffle kind of movement, it's So Very Avian to me so like, huge kudos for whoever designed and animated luke. this is a birdman, it is clear as day

OKAY NOW ONTO BIRD TRAITS!!!

-

HEAD STABILIZATION

this trait is seen among many bird species and it's so that they can keep their sight steady even when in aerial motion

head stabilization is important in birds of prey specifically so they can accurately lock onto their targets with their sharp vision and Keep Them In Their Vision to actually kill them. very badass.

but also fun and silly looking when demonstrated in less hunting-y way like in this GIF

in conclusion: imagine harpy!luke being slightly moved from side to side and his head just Does Not Move

-

TALON STRENGTH

talons (especially ones on large birds of prey) are strong. they can crush bone. like, look at this

killing MACHINE

the above is from the harpy eagle (considered to be the most powerful eagle on the planet), and through even just sheer size, it's not hard to think about how these talons can kill. in strength tho, it can exert approx 110lbs~ of pressure. for reference, to break a human femur (the thickest bone in the human body), you would need 160lbs~ of pressure force. the harpy eagle is already not that far behind, in being able to break a femur. pretty sure it can break the thinner bones tho.

now, talons scaled up to a humanoid-harpy size would be even deadlier, methinks. which is why it's slightly silly to me that luke even HAS a dagger when hes got those BIG KNIFE FEETS

in conclusion: yknow the high kick luke does in his 2nd bday ssr? imagine that but happening in the Air and also he's a harpy and he just snapped something's neck with his talons

-

ok enough about murder, this last one's a cute one

FEATHER RUFFLIES

birds can ruffle their feathers for a lot of reasons, but many do this to keep warm. more air between the feathers, more insulation for heat, nice warm happy bird :')

also, they end up looking So Much Fluffier and Softer

in conclusion: badass hunting harpy!luke? when it gets cold, he wraps his wings around himself and ruffles up his feathers. when hes like this, it's the best time to go in for a hug as well cuz he can just let that person into the embrace of his wings. absolutely ensconced in warmth and softness

-

this post is a mess and a half but i had a lot of feelings and no braincells abt it okay jhvjVKJHSFS

[ishifted-jdayz]

something i love about my wr is the "know" feature. this time, i was able to "read" a bunch of classics ive never had time to read before. theres some books i want to read on my own time, but lord of the rings/the hobbit or the entire narnia series again or like. the bible or the torah or the quran. or textbooks/studies or archives etc etc etc. i have interest in the information but the amount of time itd take to read all that is frustrating to me so to be able to just say "know" and havr all the information in my head now and Memorized...... obsessed. i love it. ive been able to read so many classics w/o having to Read them which can be idk cheating or whatever but idc bc i know it now as if i did read it just without Reading it for however long it takes to do it manually.

i could also do this w like language textbooks and stuff but idr want to??? i like poring over those more slowly.

today i did more exploring, rode the train into town. it was interesting. everyone there greeted me like i was an old friend, a well respected figure in the town. it was really cool. i got like free boba and a croissant and sat in the park square and watched some kids play in the fountain. it was really cool to exist around people there. they felt so real, which ofc they would, but this was the first time i really Got that i control this whole. existence, and that includes these people, but it doesnt Feel fake or imposter syndrome-y. i think that was something that scared me abt shifting before.

i went back home and decided to rot on my couch for a bit (though there it doesnt make me feel lethargic or anything, and also i have all the time in the world), and watched some edits ill make here in the future. v excited bc i love making edits and they look SO GOOD

i dont want . idk spoilers ig for some of my drs so i havent watched any for them but i did decide to listen to some music i make in some of them which was so cool...... i love music guys did you know this.

anyway then i decided to try going thru my howls moving castle door (not to a DR dr but like a different time period), and it was really cool i ran into jane austen!!!!!! she was so interesting. a bit quiet at first but very passionate when you get her going <3. i also trained with my old piano teacher which was nice, and hung out with my grandpa.

oh yeah and then i went back to my house and like. viewed the details of what would change irt my family if i changed stuff (my appearance, my older sister's behavior, my parents (and the world's) homo/transphobia, my athleticness (like what would change irt the Me there if i hadnt gone through all the stuff i went through irt my older sister; would my younger sister be on estrogen already like she wants; how would i be treated by extended family if i did all my extracurriculars like i want to, and specifically soccer (the sport the whole family is obsessed w) etc etc etc)). it was really interesting to see the details, and also be able to see what my parents were like younger, what my grandpa truly feels, if my one uncle is cool or not, all these truths about my family that ik i can change but its cool to see it laid out this way. gives me a lot more confidence and surety in everything. and i feel so. godlike. omniscient yk????? omnipotent. etc. was just really cool.

so anyway yeah i pored over that and then decided to go to the best (not most famous or highest deigned in the country, but the best Quality and authenticity) restaurant in japan, and my GOD. it was so fucking good. i got to try new stuff, and the servers (?) and owner were so cool. im loving it here so much.

and then i went back home and pet my cat and horse for a little before finally retiring to bed. tomorrow i think im gonna shower/bathe for the first time in my bathroom whichll be cool.

[1010lilfoot]

On a whim I rewatched all the homestuck flashes (nothing to see here folks...) and now I'm unhinged. Anyway the comic ended in 2016 and that's when TDL is set so here's what all my OCs think about it!

TDL

Max: Also Unhinged. One of those kids who picked it up around 2011-2013 and was so into the tumblr fandom. (Homestuck turned him trans. /j) He was a bit young to be reading it at the time so many of the jokes and nuances flew over his head but BOY did he have character opinions. Tracked updates till the very end. (HATED Vriska.)

Cathy: Max begged her to read it so she did (not a huge fan but she enjoys his rants). Skipped the first intermission to Max's fury, so she went back and skimmed it. Likes Act 6 for the relationship drama; it's like reality TV. Likes the dancestors for the same reason.

Sam: Also read it bc Max begged her to (in 2016). Skims every long block of text and doesn't get much of the plot because of it. Saw that Vriska was spider themed and likes that; bc she skimmed she doesn't know any of the horrors so Vriska is her fav and Max has never been so mad.

Cameron: Read it bc Max asked him to (in 2016), actually tries to be invested. Not a huge fan but he understands enough. Didn't know how to watch the flash pages so he missed every [S] in the first 3-4 acts (watch how hard I can project) and had to go back and watch them later. Got less invested in Act 6 bc of the relationship drama, but he finishes the whole thing eventually.

Abby: Was told not to read it yet bc she's too young. She started reading anyway on her own (intending to catch up for the finale), but got distracted enjoying the early acts and now she's reading slowly but VERY in-depth.

Ben: Was reading in 2011 at 14 y/o, PRIME TIME! Read it with his sister (the middle child, 10 at the time, too young) and had a lot of fun. Not a super fan but was invested. They both went to one con in cosplay and enjoyed it, to Max's incredible envy. Fell off the wagon during the hiatuses, but both caught back up in 2016 for the ending.

NYSM

Murmur and Salvo: Both were on board in 2011; when they met in 2013 it was one of the things they bonded over. When it goes on hiatus at the end of the year they get SO involved with theorizing together and have lots of fun for years. Read every update as it came out together and both enjoyed the ending.

Amily: Tried to read it bc Murmur and Salvo liked it but stopped after Act 1. Knows stuff from later on through osmosis.

Defectors

Sarah: Invested from the beginning in 2009 (computer science nerd, 20 y/o). Stayed interested once it got more character-focused/less CS-jokey. Wrote some big legendary fanfic in 2011-2012 (poured liters of personal emotional upheaval into this thing, yes it was a blackrom, you will see why) that went unfinished. Fell off the train at the megapause due to said emotional upheaval and just skimmed to catch up for the finale in 2016.

Penwood: Has never read it because he thinks it's too long and childish. He would like it SO MUCH if he read it.

Ambre: Doesn't know what it is. Has heard the name before but forgot. Don't even try to recommend it to her, she'd be an even worse reader than Sam.

TDD

Jupiter: Due to Max's prompting, has read a bit (also watched parts of the Let's Read on youtube). Knows she'd get hyperfixated if she read it in full so she stopped. Too busy to be that invested.

Aidyn: Stopped before finishing Act 1. Not interested.

Eight: Has read/skimmed up to Act 5. Thinks it's entertaining but is not that invested. Likes the trolls. Says they like Vriska purely to mess with Max.

Fae: Hasn't read it or heard of it.

Big 3

Kilo (Blizzard): Hasn't read it. Heard of it super briefly from Yuma. Thinks she has weird taste.

Yuma (Firestorm): Heard of it briefly thanks to [spoiler]. Knows character/plot details that [spoiler] told her, but has never read it. Likes every red flag character... :(

Coda: Hasn't read it or heard of it.

[wizzerreblogs]

Leon Tanner x Reader/Cadence

Ice Cream Date

Wooo my first fic for bcb and it's a Leon one bc I am nothing but a sucker for those undatables. And it's criminal that we didn't get more time with him, so I'm making up for it with this.

Also, it's relatively spoiler-free as I don't really put anything specific to the plot, just a line he says on the final route. Unless you count Leon as a spoiler himself, then ig spoilers, lol.

No use of Y/N or anything of the sort in this, but it is in 2nd person. Ending is also a tad bit abrupt, but I'm very tired so cut me some slack lol.

Word count: 2.1k

Band camp was... eventful to say the least. And even after the crazy chaos, there was still a lot of work to do as the band would have to work extra hard to keep it up and running. Which meant a lot of work for the drum major, band president, and the band director himself.

And coincidentally, you were one of those.

That's right. You were the drum major! Congratulations on surviving band camp, now you have to survive marching band and school on top of that!... No quitting.

But nevermind all that. Despite the exhaustion, excitement for band does trump all. And also... band lets you see the guy who has caught your attention ever since he helicopter-ed into Camp Bearpaw to fill the hole in the drill. That's right.

Leon Tanner.

The guy who cannot talk to girls without blushing.

But here's the thing: he owed you an ice cream date... Well, actually, you might owe him it after everything that's happened, but he offered to go out for it that one time, and by God you weren't gonna turn down free ice cream (again). And luckily it was Friday, which meant you could totally ask about his upcoming plans for Saturday and maybe score yourself an ice cream date with a buff softie?

Here's hoping.

...

You decide to approach him at lunch. Best time for talking and no doubt the hunger might influence him a bit. You see him at a table with a few younger kids (no doubt the ones who he bunked with at band camp; they latched onto him after that) and make eye contact. You smile warmly at him, but he just blushes and looks down.

Oh well, you won't let that stop you on your mission. You take your tray and sit opposite of him, psyching yourself up for this.

I mean, the worst he can say is no, right?... Right?

You decide to speak first, saying, "Hey Leon! How have you been settling in so far? It's been a bit hectic after... you know what, so I just wanna see how you're doing now that we're in a safe environment."

He looks up at you from his food and quietly says, "It's been going alright. Can't really complain after all that at band camp."

Oh, you see an opportunity.

You lean in a bit on the table and say, "Just alright? Anything I can do to make your experience here better?" And for effect, you bat your lashes a little bit at him.

And... just like expected, he turns into a blushing mess again. Got him.

"I, uh, well..." And he's gone. Lady's, gentlemen, and everything in-between, you got him.

You just laugh and lean back, "Leon, I'm just teasing you. You're so easy to fluster. Anyways! Real reason I'm here is to hopefully ask if you still wanna get ice cream with me and explore the mall? I know during the first weekend of band camp you wanted to, so I'm hoping the offer is still valid for tomorrow."

He smiles--a very cute smile, you notice-- and nods, which gets you beaming as well.

"Awesome! It's a date. Here," you pull out your phone and open your contacts, "Put your number in here and I'll text you more details after band practice!"

He does that, and you take your tray and head out. You doubt he'll actually be able to eat with you after that, so you decide to head off to your friends. And... okay, maybe you wanted to gush a little about getting a date this weekend. But only a little.

...

It's finally after band practice and you were home and could finally discuss plans with Leon. You shoot him a quick text, telling him that it's you and get straight to business.

You

So, if you're able, 1 PM tomorrow would be a good time to get ice cream at the mall! It will be a little busy, but that's the best time to go and people watch and go around the stores.

Leon

Sounds good! I'll see you there.

Score! Plans settled, but now you have to get an outfit. One that says "I care about looking good for this date-but-not-an-official-date but not too much so I don't look desperate." Which means you need some professional help, aka Susie.

You call her, stating it is an emergency, and she comes over right away.

"What's the issue? You said it was an emergency!"

You look at her and bring her to your room, "It is!... What should I wear tomorrow for my date for Leon?"

She deadpans at you for a second, but snaps into excited mode.

"Oh my god, we have to make you look great! This is your first date in a while, and Leon's such a cutie! You two would be great together!!"

You smile and laugh, "Hold your horses, cowboy! It's not even an official date as I don't want to scare him. It's just ice cream and touring the plaza and mall, that's it!... But I do want to look good in the off-chance he's interested in me in that way."

Susie rolls her eyes as she helps you go through your closet, "Yeah right, who wouldn't be interested in you? You're kind, helpful, determined, and a cutie. He'd be a fool to not want to be with you."

You both smile and laugh, glad to be able to bond over this, and continue rummaging.

And then it happens, you both find the perfect outfit, and Susie squeals.

"It's perfect! You have to wear that tomorrow, he'll love it!"

You twirl around, showing it off and checking it out again before saying, "And I love it too. Thanks, Susie for coming by and helping me with this!"

You see her out and she says, "No problem! Had to help my best friend with getting the man of her dreams."

It elicits one last laugh from you guys before she leaves, and now you have to clean up and hype yourself up again for tomorrow.

A date with Leon Tanner.

Let's hope nothing goes wrong... Please, nothing go wrong.

...

The morning of the ice cream date. Nothing has gone wrong so far, but you never know with your friends. So you cautiously get dressed up and check for any text messages from Leon saying he can't come (worst scenario) or the other boys trying to bother you (more manageable, but annoying).

And now, it was just about time for you to leave and go to your date. You take your car (quicker), and head to the plaza, all ready to go get your ice cream on with Leon. And maybe score another date-but-not-an-official-date, or an actual date with him? You sure hope.

You see that you arrived first so you sit on a nearby bench, happily waiting for him, but playing on your phone to not look too excited. Don't want to scare the guy off after all.

And then, you get the text.

Leon

I'm here. I see you on the bench.

You look up and see him staring at you, so you smile and wave. He blushes (qtypical reaction for him), and comes over as you stand.

He goes to say something, but as he looks at you he notices your outfit and his breath hitches and he turns even more red. He starts to nervously brush him arm.

"I, uh. I forgot what I was going to say... Uh, you look good."

You beam at him, "Thanks! You look good as well," you pat him on the shoulder, "Now, let's go get some ice cream!"

You both enter the parlor, which wasn't too full but there were a few other students from your school there. You ignore them and take Leon to go look at the options.

They all look delicious, but you can't have it all, so you say, "Mm, it all looks so good right now. Any ideas on what you'll get, Leon?"

He looks deep in thought (apparently getting ice cream is serious business), and says "Actually, I'm thinking about getting that pear flavor. It says it's their special."

You lean in closer to him to see what he's looking at, which he stiffens a bit at. You notice that it is their special and does look amazing too.

"Yeah... that does look good! So, two pear ice creams for us then?"

He nods, and you order for the both of you. Before you can pay, he takes out his wallet and does so.

It shocks you a little bit, "Oh! Leon, you didn't have to do that."

He shakes his head, "I invited you out here the first time, so it's only right that I pay."

Well... who are you to turn down free ice cream? You just accept it and get your cone, taking him to go sit outside under one of the nice parasol tables.

You both quietly eat your ice cream for a bit before you speak up, "So, have you made any other friends since moving here? Or have you gotten closer to your band mates?"

He smiles, "Yeah. Poptart," the nickname stuck after band camp, even after everyone learned his real name, "and I have been hanging out a bit more. Peter has been nicer to me now as well."

You smile brightly at him, "That's great! I'm so glad; I just knew you would be able to fit in with us."

His smile turns bashful and he quietly thanks you. And after that, you both finish your ice cream which means going around the mall a bit.

You take his hand--with permission of course-- and lead him around, entering a few stores and doing some window shopping. That continues for a bit until you reach a store you really like, the pet store.

You pause and stop, staring at Leon, "Leon!! We've made it to the best store in this whole place, the pet store!"

And that gets him excited as well, seeing as he loves animals, so you both enter the store.

It's a quaint place and the owner is friendly and takes good care of the animals, which is always good. They also know you, so that's another plus of being there.

The owner hears you and Leon enter, and warmly greets you both. You let Leon take off first and talk with the owner for a bit.

"This is the first time I've seen you here with a boy, and he looks new. Is he your boyfriend?"

You smile, "No, he isn't... but here's hoping, right? Oh, he really likes animals, though, so I was sure he'd love it here like how I do."

They chuckle a bit and pat you on the back, "Well, good luck then and enjoy your date. I'll be in the back if you need me."

And with that, you wander over to Leon who's looking at the cats.

You start speaking softly, "They're cute, right? They're like the highlight of coming here."

Leon nods, his focus on the animals.

"You know, if we get the owner back out here, they'll let us pet them. They're all pretty friendly, though a few are shy."

And that appears to have got him, as he looks excitedly at you. Which means you have to get the owner.

So you do that and now here you are, petting cats with Leon. You're both enjoying it, but eventually it has to end. You both help the owner put them back, bid them farewell, and leave the store.

And now it was just the two of you again, walking back to the parking lot where your car is.

You smile at him, "Well, Leon, I had a wonderful time with you today!"

He smiles back at you, blushing slightly, "Yeah, it was great... Thanks for inviting me."

"Well, technically, you invited me first. I just held you to your word."

He laughs a little and that gets you to smile more.

"I have to go now, but... wanna do this again sometime? I really enjoyed hanging out with you, and I think it would be great if we kept doing this."

He nods, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing this again with you."

You beam once more, and as one final send off before you leave, you kiss him on the cheek.

He turns bright red and his hand shoots up to the spot, and that's when you take your leave.

He was still stunned by that kiss even as you said, "Bye, Leon! I'll see you at school, Monday!"

But... it looked like he liked it, so score for you.

Here's hoping that your next date will go even better, and that you'll have a cute boyfriend named Leon Tanner after it.

[thelastspeecher]

Pirates!

The post I made where I mentioned that we developed a Pirate AU on the discord recently got five likes, which is all the encouragement I need, so.  Here.  Have Stan talking his way into being a pirate, then later climbing the ranks to be a first mate to a feared pirate captain and discovering said captain’s biggest secret.  I have even more stuff written, but here’s a bit of a taster to tempt y’all.

Shout-out to the folks on the discord who have helped to develop the AU, esp @bluestuffeh, who first said “Hey what about a Pirate AU where...”

Enjoy.

——————————————————————————————

              Stan held his breath as another pirate walked past the barrel he was hiding in.

              Stan.  You’ve made a lot of shitty decisions in your life.  This might be the shittiest.  The ship hit a rough wave.  Stan’s barrel toppled over, spilling him onto the deck.  Promptly, there was a cutlass at his throat.  Yep.  This is the shittiest.

              “Uh…hi,” he said weakly.  The man pointing a sword at him, enormous and redheaded, glared at him.

              “Someone fetch the captain to deal with this stowaway,” the man said.  Or rather, roared.  Stan winced.

              This guy went into the right career.  He clearly doesn’t have much of an inside voice.

              “No need to fetch me, Dan,” a voice rasped.  Stan’s heart leapt into his throat.  “I heard you from my cabin.”  Stan swallowed nervously as footsteps approached.  The captain walked up to Stan, looking him over with a careful eye. A thick scar on one cheek marred his surprisingly delicate face, but Stan’s gaze was drawn to the scar on his neck. Rumor had it that the captain got it his first night on a ship when someone tried to slit his throat. Whoever tried to kill him hadn’t survived to tell the tale.  Neither had the captain’s voice.  It was irrevocably damaged.

              “What should we do?” asked Dan.  The captain watched Stan expectantly.

              “I think I’d like to hear what the stowaway has to say for himself,” the captain said.  Sure enough, his voice was rough and mangled.  Stan opened and closed his mouth silently for a moment.  “Well?”

              “You’re short,” Stan said without thinking.  Dan grabbed Stan roughly and pulled him to his feet.  All the gesture did was further prove how short the captain was.  Stan was almost a full foot taller.

              “Wanna rephrase that?” Dan snarled.

              Yes.  But I’ll just bury myself deeper, because the only other thing I can think of to say is that he’s handsome.  At Stan’s continuing silence, chuckles came from the crewmen that had gathered to watch the spectacle.  The captain stepped closer to Stan.

              “Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

              “I want to join your crew,” Stan blurted out.  The crew’s laughter grew louder.  The captain held up a hand, silencing the crew.  He raised an eyebrow at Stan.

              “What exactly do you think this is?  This is a pirate ship, boy, not a bar.  I don’t exactly let anyone who walks on board interview for a position.”

              “Hear me out,” Stan said desperately.  The captain made a “go on” gesture.  Stan took a deep breath.  “I can’t work for my brother anymore.  He- he’s the captain of the ship you raided last night.  I wanted to be at sea ever since I was a kid, but my brother, he was the one who was going places.  So I just sort of went with him when the governor hired him to captain a ship.  And I’m sick of it.”  Something flashed in the captain’s eyes, a startling blue that matched the waves hitting the ship’s prow.  “I can’t- I can’t be his lackey anymore, I can’t just do the stupid, pointless tasks he gives me.  I mean, I’m not even his first mate, I’m just- I’m just the cabin boy.”

              “Hmm.”  The captain’s eyes bore into Stan.  He resisted the urge to look away.  “Dan, put the sword down.”  Soft murmuring broke out amongst the crew.  “What’s your name?”

              “Stan.  Stan Pines.”

              “Stan.  Welcome aboard.  For a probationary period.”

              “You have a better vocabulary than I’d expect from a pirate,” Stan said, again, without thinking.  An expression crossed the captain’s face, too quickly for Stan to identify.  It might have been amusement, it might have been frustration.  It might have been both.

              “And you’re damn good at putting your foot in your mouth,” the captain retorted. “I’ll let you join the crew for a while. If you try to get out of pulling your weight, if you turn out to be a spy for the crown, you’ll be in Davy Jones’ Locker before you’ll know what hit you.  Got it?”

              “Got it.”  Stan swallowed.  “Uh, and thanks.”

              “It’s not a favor to you,” the captain said roughly.  “A man’s gotta have a code to live by.  I spent most of my life feeling adrift at sea, and I try to help people who are in the same spot.”  The captain turned around.  “Dan, show him where he’ll be sleeping.  And Stan?”

              “Y-yeah?”

              “You should probably know who your new captain is.”  The captain grinned viciously over his shoulder at Stan. “The name’s Sullivan McGowan.  But you can call me Captain Sully.”

              “Will do, Captain Sully,” Stan said dutifully.  Captain Sully’s grin broadened.

              “That’s what I like to hear.”  The captain marched away.  Stan could only stare silently.

              How the hell did I pull that off?

----- 

              The ship doctor finally emerged from the captain’s cabin.  Stan stopped pacing and looked at the doctor hopefully.

              “Can I see him?” he asked.  The doctor’s face was unreadable.

              “Yes, you can see the captain,” the doctor said.  Stan entered the cabin, his heart racing.  When he’d seen Sully go down in battle with a sword in his side, he’d feared the worst.  But Sully was a tough bastard, so of course he stuck around.  Stan closed the cabin door behind him.  At the sound, Sully sat up in bed.  Stan’s jaw dropped.  He’d never seen Sully shirtless before, and now he knew why.

              The captain has…jugs.  Stan immediately winced and prayed that Sully didn’t hear him think that.  Sometimes, it seemed like the captain could read minds. Sully stared at him, face reddening. After a moment, he cleared his throat.

              “Well…I guess the cat’s out of the bag,” Sully said softly.  His voice was higher than usual, clearer.  It lacked the distinct gruff rasp that Stan knew so well.  Stan swallowed.

              “Look, captain, I’ve- I’ve met people who used to be guys but then became girls, and girls that became guys.  I’m not judging you, and you- you being- it doesn’t mean you’re not a man.” Sully let out a soft laugh.  He swung his legs over the side of his bed.

              “That’s very progressive of ya.  But not necessary.  I’m a woman. Have been my whole life.  I just pretend to be a man ‘cause it’s a man’s world.” Sully scowled.  “When I first got into piracy, I knew I couldn’t be myself if I wanted to survive.”

              “What made you think that?” Stan asked.

              “What was the first thing ya said when we first met?”

              “Uh…that you were short.”

              “I’m not just short fer a man, I’m short fer a woman.  I was soft, petite, fragile, like young ladies are s’pposed to be.  Someone like that won’t last long on the sea.”  Sully got up.  He- no, she limped over to her desk and sat down.  “I changed myself so’s I could live.”

              “That’s…that’s rough, buddy,” Stan finally managed.  Sully snorted.

              “Thanks.  I am plannin’ on tellin’ the crew at some point that I’m a woman.  Can I trust ya to keep this secret until I’m ready to spill it on my own?”

              “Yeah.”

              “Good.”

              “And I’ll make sure the doctor doesn’t let anything slip, too,” Stan added. Sully nodded gratefully.  “If you don’t mind me asking…”  Sully waved a hand airily.

              “Ask away.”

              “Sully isn’t actually your name, is it?”

              “No.”  Sully’s lips flattened into a thin line.  “It’s Sally. And- and even then, Sally’s my middle name.  My first name’s Bridgette.”

              “I see why you went by Sully,” Stan said.  Sully- no, Sally chuckled.  “One other thing.”  Sally raised an eyebrow.

              “Yes?”

              “Your voice-” Stan started.  Sally let out a bark of laughter.

              “You know I’m a woman and keepin’ my voice low strains it, so of course it’s higher than yer used to.”

              “No, I figured that out.  I was wondering why it’s not so…rough.”

              “Ah.”  Sally pointed at the scar on her neck.  “The rumor that my voice was affected by the wound that caused this?  Just that.  A rumor. I got it my first night on a ship. The person that patched me up said it might mess with my voice.  So I went with it.  Anything to make myself more intimidatin’.”  Sally grinned.  “And as fer the accent you’ve no doubt picked up on, I’ll explain that some other time. Right now, I need to rest.  Go run the ship like the capable first mate you are.”

----- 

              Fiddleford charged through the crowd of battling sailors.  He could see his target, gleefully kicking his first mate overboard.

              “Anyone else want a piece?” Captain Sully snarled.  His voice rasped painfully, in line with the rumor his vocal cords had been damaged years ago.

              “Me,” Fiddleford said, stepping forward.  Captain Sully’s head whipped around.  He grinned viciously.

              “You’re gonna regret that.”  Captain Sully marched towards him.  Fiddleford grit his teeth.

              You’re doin’ this fer Angie.  Yer doin’ this to find out where yer baby sister’s gone to.  Before he knew what was happening, Captain Sully was in front of him, his throat tickled by the pirate’s cutlass.  Fiddleford could only stare silently into Captain Sully’s eyes.

              “What, you won’t even try to fight me?” Captain Sully snapped. Fiddleford’s heart was in his throat. The nose was a dead giveaway, and so was the height; but there was a spark in the pirate’s fierce blue eyes. A spark that Fiddleford remembered seeing whenever he played games with his overcompetitive little sister.

              It can’t be…  A few strands of blond hair fell into Captain Sully’s face.  Fiddleford’s stomach churned.  It- it’s Angie.  He wanted desperately to say something to his younger sibling.

              “Are you like me?  Did you start a new life, where no one would know the name you were born with?” But not a single word crossed his lips. Captain Sully, fed up with his silence, spat in his face.  Fiddleford wiped it off quickly, but while he was occupied, Captain Sully knocked his legs out from under him and chucked him overboard.  His head broke free from the water.  He stared at the pirate captain that had once been his baby sister.

              What happened?

----- 

              Once again, a cutlass was at Fiddleford’s throat.  Captain Sully sneered down at him.

              “Anything to say?” he said jauntily.  “I’ll grant you last words.  It’s the least a man can get.”  Fiddleford swallowed.

              “I’m sorry,” he whispered.  Captain Sully frowned, bemused.  “I’m sorry fer bein’ a poor excuse of a big brother.  I should’ve been there fer ya.”  The pirate’s stony expression broke.  Shock filled his eyes, a blue that they both had inherited from Ma. “But…if this is what ya wanted, to have a new life, start over, I- I’m just happy to know ya found yourself.” The cutlass at his throat quivered.

              “I…”  Captain Sully’s brief devastated expression returned to a vicious glare.  “Dan!”

              “Yes, captain?” asked a redheaded bear of a man.  Captain Sully sheathed his sword.

              “Take him to the brig.”

              “Uh…”  The ship’s crew looked at each other.  “Are- are you sure about that?”

              “Are you questioning me, Dan?” Captain Sully snapped.  Dan swallowed.

              “N-no, sir.”  Dan marched forward and pulled Fiddleford to his feet.  “I don’t know why the captain decided to go easy on you, but you should count yourself lucky.”  Fiddleford watched Captain Sully disappear into his cabin, closely followed by a man he could only assume was the first mate.

              “…I do.”

----- 

              “Hey.”  Fiddleford’s head whipped up.  It was the first mate he’d seen follow Captain Sully into his cabin.  “What’s your name?”

              “F-Fiddleford.”

              “All right.  Fiddleford.” The first mate unlocked the door. “You’re coming with me.  The captain wants to talk to you.”

              “He’s not doing the interrogation in the brig?” asked Fiddleford’s guard. The first mate shrugged.  “Man, what is it about this guy that’s making the captain go so easy on him?”

              “Dunno,” the first mate grunted.  He grabbed Fiddleford’s arm.  “You’re coming with me, Twiggy McGee.”  The first mate dragged Fiddleford out of the brig, up to the deck, and into the captain’s cabin.  “Sit.” Fiddleford was shoved into a chair in front of the captain’s desk.

              “Stan,” the captain said softly.

              “Yep.”  The first mate – Stan – closed the door.  “You better cooperate with anything the captain asks you, capisce?”

              “I- I was goin’ to,” Fiddleford stammered.

              “Good.”  Stan leaned against the door.  The captain looked up from his desk.  He steepled his fingers, his eyes staring into Fiddleford’s.  A tense silence fell.  Clearly, Captain Sully wasn’t planning on speaking first.  Fiddleford cleared his throat.

              “You make a fine young man,” he said finally.  Captain Sully leaned back in his chair.

              “So do you.  But I’m guessin’ that you ain’t pretendin’ to be a man like I am.”  Fiddleford sat up straight.  “I heard ‘bout yer…passin’.  Well, the passin’ of Viola.”

              “H-how?”

              “I have my ways.  Why’d ya think I named my ship Sweet Viola?”  Captain Sully snorted.  “If I’d known my sister died so my brother could be born, maybe I would’ve named her somethin’ else.”

              “Wait, what exactly is going on?” Stan asked.  Captain Sully sighed.

              “Remember what you thought when ya first saw me shirtless?”

              “Yeah,” Stan said.  Captain Sully nodded at Fiddleford.  “…Oh.”

              “You- you aren’t a man now?” Fiddleford asked.

              “Nope.”

              “But-”

              “Sally’s been dressing like a man so that people take her seriously,” Stan said. Fiddleford frowned.

              “…Sally?  If yer first mate knows yer a woman, why don’t he know yer real name?” he asked. His younger sibling, who he now felt comfortable thinking of as Angie again, narrowed her eyes.

              “He knows Sally’s my middle name,” Angie ground out.

              “But-”

              “By the way, don’t think I missed that little squeak ya made,” Angie said, talking over him, probably to prevent Fiddleford from letting slip that Sally wasn’t her middle name.  “When I said Stan saw me shirtless.  If findin’ out someone saw me without a top on is enough to make that overprotective siblin’ nature kick in, you’ll be apoplectic once ya hear what else I’ve done.” Angie kicked her legs up on her desk. At some point, she had changed out of her long pants and into shorter ones.  Fiddleford’s mouth went dry at the scars running up and down her legs.

              “Look…Sally, I-”

              “Save it,” Angie snarled.  “I didn’t kill ya ‘cause yer fam’ly.  But that don’t mean yer entitled to-”  Stan cleared his throat.

              “Sally, remember what I said?  About how he clearly hadn’t written you off?  And was trying to find you?” Stan said gently.  Angie closed her eyes.  Fiddleford’s heart sank.

              That’s why she’s so upset.  She really- she really thinks that we abandoned her.

              “Junebug,” Fiddleford whispered.  Angie looked away, but not fast enough to hide the tears beginning to trickle down her face.  “We- we never gave up on ya.  I’ve been- I’ve been searchin’ fer ya fer years.  Why else do ya think a farm boy went and joined the navy?”

              “…Farm boy?” Stan said.  “Sally, did you grow up on a-”

              “Not now,” Angie mumbled.  She rubbed her face roughly.  “I…”

              “I’m sorry it took so long to find you.  And I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help when you needed it,” Fiddleford said, leaning forward.  He cautiously reached out a hand.  Angie didn’t move away.  Emboldened, Fiddleford took hold of her hand.  It was as thin and dainty as he remembered, but roughened by callouses and scars.  “But I’m here now.  I want- I want to know what you’ve been through, and I want to tell ya what you’ve missed.”  Angie took a shuddering breath.

              “Okay,” she said quietly.  “First things first, you should prob’ly tell me whatever name yer goin’ by now.”

              “Oh.  It’s Fiddleford.”

              “Fiddleford.”  Angie snorted.  “Of course, when you had the chance to choose a name, ya went with Fiddleford.” Fiddleford grinned.  Angie didn’t return the expression, but the steely, vicious glint in her eyes softened.

              Just a bit.

[jungw8ns]

GOING TO AN ESCAPE ROOM WITH ENHYPEN !

PAIRING: boyfriend!enha x gn!reader. GENRE: established relationship, fluff, crack. WARNINGS: profanity (not that much tho), mentions of death (?). WORD COUNT: 100 - 200 each member.

HEESEUNG:

the two of you were so pumped playing an escape room together for the first time that the other people in line had to calm you guys down (which was trully embarrassing to say the least 🤐🤐)

he was looking at the ranking board filled with pictures of players that had succeeded in the shortest amount of time and he just wanted nothing more than to see both your faces on there

but anyways, we all know how competitive heeseung gets 🕴️

oh boy let me tell you, this guy WAS SPEEDRUNNING IT but not the kind you were thinking

the second the timer had started he was literally SPRINTING AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR CLUES YET COMPLETELY MISSING THEM 🏃‍♂️💨💨💨

while he was busy running around, you were picking up the little details in the room and in no time managed to open a few locks

"y/n look i found– oh 😐😑😐"

HE WAS SULKING PLSSS 😭😭😭

when you noticed him standing from afar staring at you with his arms crossed, you called him to solve this one puzzle you already did

*gasps* "oh no! babe i don't understand how to do this, please help me 😔😔🤥🙏🙏"

he had to bite his lower lip to stop himself from letting out that cocky grin but it got out eventually

"oh it's so easy sweetheart, just put this here and then voila! 😉"

when the two of you escaped you suprisingly got to take a polaroid with him home after ranking 2nd in the records

heeseung was the one who held onto it tho, placing it underneath his clear phonecase for safekeeping <3

JAY:

GOD THIS DUDE

THE ESCAPE ROOM WASN'T EVEN THAT SCARY AND YET EVERYTIME YOU GUYS OPEN A LOCK OR A DOOR HIS FIGHT OR FLIGHT INSTINCTS COME UP 😭😭👊👊

"y/n stay behind me >:(("

"um, babe, you do realize that's just a door right?"

"WE'LL BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY?? THE STAFF COULD'VE PROGRAMMED IT TO GROW LEGS?? 😵🧐🧐"

you knew you shouldn't have played horror games with him a few nights ago cause he looked like he was about to lose his mind 😔

you had to shove his ass aside and move on to the next mission cause the both of you knew that he was stalling 🏌️‍♀️

jay was being extra clingy the whole time you were playing, he'd either link arms with you or hold hands (he's literally so adorable) 💞💞

BUT THEN YOU THOUGHT OF DOING A PRANK ON HIM

while you were roaming around the room trying to solve a puzzle, you saw this horse mask on a nearby table

and so you made sure jay was distracted and put on the mask

you could've NOT worn the dusty old thing but where was the fun in that?

"jay can you come here for a sec?"

you hid behind the wall beside the door frame waiting for him to come into your sight and attacked him

now, how about we guess what happens next?

a. he faints

b. he runs away

or c. he slaps you in the face and forces you to buy him food for the rest of the night

if you guessed c then YAY! YOU'RE CORRECT 🥳🎉🎉🎊

THIS HOE SLAPS YOU AS HE SHOULD

"$##/@+(+'£%(:?!!)&£**/*%@"

when he finally takes off the mask like those scenes in scooby doo he's never felt so betrayed in his life

"i- I TRUSTED YOU 😭😭😭 YOU BETTER BUY ME FOOD LATER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, THE BETRAYAL???? LITERALLY UNPROVOKED?????"

he wouldn't stop side eyeing you until you guys finally pulled up on the mcdonalds drive thru

"hi, can i get two um– bts meals please? 😒😒 and two oreo mc flurries 🙄🙄 and also large fries 😐😐"

sane (1/3)

would be trailing behind you like a little puppy (i love him so much 😭😭😭)

he either has his arm linked with yours or held hands every five minutes

JAKE:

really focused on the puzzles he's doing but the second he hears you call out his name for help he's there beside you with the sweetest smile

but anyways, mans was POPPING OFF the entire time you were playing

he was solving problem after problem in no time (he wanted to impress you is why he activated his inner flash ⚡⚡) but he did let you play tho, the last thing he wanted to do was make you pissed at him for hogging all the games

def buried jake with compliments and forehead kisses right after ❤️__❤️

and so the two of you got out in like an hour and a few which you were very proud of

"you were so cool today babe, good job !!"

"aww thank you angel 😊😊"

sane (2/3)

SUNGHOON:

would be linking pinkies with you the whole time, only letting go whenever the both of you had to solve something that needed two or more people

there was this one game tho where he had to arm wrestle this literal hand lever to open the door to the last room (yea...don’t ask why, the staffs were pretty weird 😬😬) 

it made him enjoy the experience a bit more as it was only the two of you playing instead of getting accompanied by strangers

HGAWAHSGDHSGHDA PLSS THIS GUY

“oh this’ll be easy, y/n step aside, i’ll handle this 😏😏😏”

idk if you were supposed to think about how handsome he looked with his serious expression on and his veiny hands coming into frame or be worried for him because the lever was REAL HARD to pull that his veins looked like they were going to pop any second soon, you stepped in and helped him tho cause you were a good s/o <3

from a spectators point of view, the two of you looked like y’all were about shit your pants but the two of you eventually succeeded on beating it, immediately dragging him to the next room which had a sofa in it, laying down to catch your breaths

cliché moment ahead ⚠️⚠️

the two of you shared a few laughs before standing up on the empty space, held hands and started to jump in circles to celebrate your success 💃💃

yupp, y’all were never going back to that hellhole again

very stubborn at first, he wanted nothing to do with the game but then you held him at gunpoint by saying:

SUNOO:

"please just this once or else i'll revoke your mint choco ice cream rights 🔫🔫🔫"

"BUT IT'S SCARY IN THERE BABE :((("

"it won't be that scary sunshine, besides, i'll be ready to 🤜💥 yk?? trust me babe i would never let anyone hurt you <33"

kinda pissed since you blackmailed him into the place and also bc he wanted to play bumper cars and dance mania but he yea he caved in pretty quick 😋😋

(y/n let him play his games in peace tf >:(((( )

once you guys got in tho he realized how normal it was and that it was not terrifying at all

THE EPITOME OF CLINGY OMFG

he wouldn't stop back hugging you and you couldn't bring yourself to push him away to play the games so you just let him walk behind you with his arms on your shoulders 😩😩

(y'all were walking kinda funny but don't tell sunoo that 🤫🤫🤫)

yea the two of you ended up escaping with a whopping 2 hours and a few minutes

but it was the effort that counts so A+++++ for the both if you 😜👍👍👍

sane (3/3)

JUNGWON:

was the one who suggested going, he even searched on naver about really good escape room places to visit and was overall really looking forward it

he liked going to places and having fun with you so it wasn't a shock how his eyes were literally crescents and his dimples were so evident

yea he literally rushed the both of you to the place that you were the first in line 😵

while waiting for the staff to finish setting up he was playing with your connected hands like 🖐️✊🖐️✊ (so precious 💞💞)

"y/n why are you taking so long 😭😭 what if they close and we end up not solving a single lock, hurry up por favorrr 😩🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏"

when they finally lead you to the room he was kind of surprised that they had separated the two of you into different spaces (like the one with txt where they had the answers to the other member's puzzles yk???)

he was locked inside a telephone stand while you were handcuffed in the main room

dw the two of you reunited after a few minutes cause jungwon was rushing his lock to get to you 🤭

you both were progressing at an average pace and it made you guys a lot more closer (not that you guys weren't before but you get what i mean)

after you guys escaped the two of you went to eat curry and talked about the whole experience 😋✌️✌️✌️

this boy literally dragged you in the escape room with him

NIKI:

HE DIDN'T EVEN GIVE YOU TIME TO REFUSE HE JUST 😐👉🚪

"ok masterchefs, in order to test your abilities we must go through series of puzzles and make it out alive, understood?"

he tried ignoring how confused you were and went on to try and get you guys to escape

HE'S LAUGHING AT YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON AND OBV YOU LAUGH ASWELL CAUSE WHO WOULDN'T??? his laugh is so contagious pls 🤖🤖 he was so close to d wording cause he couldn't breathe from laughing too much

yea.. you guys spent so much time laughing at each other for being so dumb at this that you ended up playing 'till closing time

spoiler alert: he fails on doing anything cause the second you made eye contact with him this child collapses 😍🤩

GIRL SO EMBARRASSING 🤡🤡

THE STAFF KICKED THE BOTH OF YOU OUT AND NOW YOU GUYS WERE BANNED FROM THE PLACE ☠️☠️

"haunted house next weekend???"

"BET"

NOTE – god they were WAY funnier in my head but yeah.... i love them so much AND OMFG HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN HEESEUNG’S SELCAS LAST NIGHT???!?@??#?@?!?@ HE’S NOT REAL WTF ⁉️❓❓⁉️

also, idk why BUT EVERY TIME I SAVE A DRAFT the paragraphs get scrambled?? £!?) 6=6) 🤣😂💔💔🤣🤣😂💔 it's so annoying but anyways, ilysm pls stay safe and have a great day <33

[goldenkirstein]

i've been on fire, dreaming of you

or alternatively, when both you and jean thought you lost each other

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

anonymous requested: hello there! I love your stuff. if requests are open, may I request a canonverse post-rumbling jean x fem reader where y/n is wounded + passed out from exhaution after the rumbling and wakes up warm and safe, with jean tending to her wounds. Y/n is shocked bc she remembers how she almost lost Jean (she didn't get turned into a titan, maybe she isn't Eldian?) and she just shoots straight up to embrace Jean without realizing the intensity of her wounds. Jean gets extra worried so he has to gently guide her back to lying down on the bed because she has a fever and her injuries aren't all better yet 🥺👉👈 maybe they cuddle afterwards until she falls asleep or smth aaaaaa 🥺 pairing: jean x fem! reader wc: 2.7k+ tags: angst to fluff, cursing, female reader, mentions of death, blood and violence, hints of blasphemy (?), mentions of injuries, aot manga spoilers.

a/n: sorry this took so long, (i was shadowbanned) i changed up the request a teensy bit but otherwise i hope you enjoy !!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Hot, burning, searing pain is the last thing you remembered before your vision went black.

That and the sight of the man you loved transforming into the one thing you feared the most.

Whether it was the heartache or the open wounds on your body that made you lose consciousness, you don’t know.

Truthfully, you were angry at Jean.

It was a whispered confession on the Azumabito airship. You and Jean sat in the corner, Captain Levi and Pieck in front of you, eyes cast away. The rest sat in silence, reeling from the situation that had played out on the ground below, quietly preparing themselves for the hell that awaited them at Fort Slava.

Jean’s hands were trembling; you would expect that after years of seeing your comrades die at the hands of humans and titans alike, you would get used to the death.

This wasn’t that, though; this was a different fear and anxiousness. Jean’s hands were clammy and his face pale; you could gauge that from one look at the man next to you, whatever worries were bubbling inside him were the accumulation of all the events from the past couple of days.

Jean was a collected man most times; as commanding officer, he didn’t have a choice but to be stoic and calm in the face of danger. But when that facade began to crumble, you would be there to ground him, remind him of why he was fighting. You knew that if you locked eyes at that moment, Jean would be able to see right through the front you were putting up, see the fear etched into your irises as you all were hurtling towards your deaths. So instead, you made the executive decision to swallow that panic and be that rock he needed, offering him your hand.

You took hold of his hand, staring ahead, and squeezed it three times, a reminder for both him and you that at least you still had each other. You could feel his eyes on you after you performed the simple gesture, but you continued to look ahead, focusing on the clouds, knowing that a couple of meters below, havoc was being wreaked by those mindless titan drones.

He said it so faintly, so lightly that you barely heard it past the sounds of the engine reverberating around the metal cabin.

“I’ll love you now and forever, even when I’m a pile of burnt bones.”

It’s like he knew. It was his way of saying goodbye to you. And you ignored him.

You clenched your jaw and pretended that you didn’t hear, pushed it to the back of your mind because this was no place for hushed confessions of love and, even more so, goodbyes. You were sure as hell were not letting Jean say goodbye to you. There would be no reason to, not if you had it your way. The both of you were bound together, and goodbyes were never to be uttered between the both of you.

Even when I’m a pile of burnt bones.

Is that what remains of him now? The muscle, sinew, and skin that pieced Jean together all reduced to ash and soot? The body that you had spent hours tracing, memorizing every detail of scattered in the wind. You would never feel the weight of his body on yours again, be able to graze your fingers over the scars littered on his torso, feel the way his heart would beat against your hands.

Jean Kirstein would only exist in your mind from now on.

He had left you alone with nothing but his memory, but even then, it was plagued by the image of a senseless titan taking the shape of Jean.

You wished to go back and tell him to shut up, never to utter those words again. Tell him to get those foolish notions out of his head, slap your hands over his mouth, silencing him, so that you could continue to live in your deluded reality that both of you would make it out alive. Tell him that he was selfish, of leaving you here to endure this torment by yourself.

Would that stop the scathing agony you were feeling?

Maybe this was hell you were in, you thought. That you were being punished for ignoring him, that you were the foolish one. Perhaps you should’ve held him tight to you, found a way to fold himself into you, so you wouldn’t have to suffer alone. Were you angry at Jean, or was that resentment directed at yourself?

The pain spread from your chest to your arms, down your legs, coursing through your veins.

You should have looked at him, told him that you were just as scared; maybe that could have changed his fate. If only you repeated those words back to him. He would still be here now.

I’ll love you now and forever.

I love him. I love him. I love him.

Bring him back to me.

The silent prayer came from the depths of your heart; whether God or who knows what would hear it, you didn’t know, but the thought of having to live with this ache was enough for you to continue repeating the mantra in your head.

--

Jean looked at your unconscious form that laid next to his seat. If it wasn’t for the gentle rising and falling of your chest, he could have sworn you were dead.

The thought sent a chill down his spine.

Jean had made peace with the fact that he would die when he transformed into a titan. Seeing you, like this, however, barely grasping onto your own life, made his body ache; he was okay with dying, but the thought of having to live without you was a fate worse than death.

He reached over to grab your hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of your palm before grasping it and squeezing it three times. He let go of it, placing it back gently over the top of your torso.

It was time to change your bandages and clean your wounds. Jean was a strong man; he had seen firsthand what a titan could do to one’s body, but his hands quivered as they unwrapped the bloodied bandages from your thigh. One singular thought overcame his mind.

Was he the reason that you were injured this badly? Did he hurt you?

Jean had spent many nights tending to your injuries, his hands careful when it came to you. However, the cuts and gashes he would tenderly patch up would always be inflicted by other humans or titans. Never did he think that his hands would be capable of hurting you. Jean was disgusted with himself as he stared straight ahead at his hands, now covered in blood.

The worst part of this, Jean thought, was that he couldn’t even remember if he was responsible for this, or maybe, that was a blessing. Recalling the situation would drive him into madness. The man winced at the thought of his arms tearing up your body.

He reached over to the tiny side table holding the medical supplies, grabbing the antiseptic solution. Dabbing it on a cloth, he attentively cleaned the wound, instinctively checking for your reaction. You would always make a fuss when he would apply it, but Jean averted his eyes once he realized that there was no reaction from your comatose form.

Usually, he would scold you when you would pull back from his hands when he tended to your wounds, but now any response would be better than having to tolerate the silence in the tiny room.

Jean got up to clean his hands in the basin, warm water turning red once he dipped his hands in. This was his punishment; he would have to suffer the consequences of his actions. The both of you were alive; Jean knew that he should be grateful, get on his hands and knees and thank the gods above. However, why should he be thankful? It was cruel. The both of you were not alive by the grace of God; this wasn’t mercifulness or benevolence.

What good is living if you have to sit and watch the one you love the most deteriorate in front of your eyes.

“You need to sleep; this isn’t healthy.” Connie was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. Although he was speaking to Jean, his eyes were transfixed on you.

Jean didn’t need to look at himself to know how terrible he looked. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his face pale and gaunt. He spent his days and nights in your room, never wanting to miss the moment when you would wake up.

If. If you woke up, not when. Even that was not guaranteed.

“I’m not leaving her side, Connie.” Jean dried his hands on the cloth next to the basin. He turned his head to look at his friend, whose eyes were now staring back into his.

Connie understood the situation; he wanted you to wake up as well, but it pained him to see Jean suffer like this, “Spending your days sitting next to her waiting for her to wake up won’t help her, Jean.”

“You don’t think I fucking know that?” Jean slammed his hand down on the basin, hair falling in front of his face. Connie’s eyes widened at his friend’s action; to say that Jean was frustrated would be an understatement.

“You got your mom back, Annie got to see her dad, even those damn kids found each other. I got her back, but it’s my fault she’s like this.” Jean gritted his teeth, lip quivering.

Connie’s heart sank; he had seen Jean at his worst, but this was almost unbearable to witness. He made his way over to the hunched-over man and squeezed his shoulder.

“It’s not your fault Jean. This is difficult, believe me, I know, but you can’t be blaming yourself.” Connie’s eyes flickered your form, and he clenched his jaw.

Jean shifted his head, sullen eyes peering at your face through strands of hair; the man shook his head as a sob escaped his lips, “I need her to wake up Connie. I can’t live without her; I don’t know how to.”

--

You felt a gentle breeze on your face and an odd pressure around your ribs. Laying still for a moment, you waited for the pressure to subside, but instead, it made its way down to your thigh. You tried to open your eyes, but it was as if they were glued shut; there was no strength left in your body.

How many days had it been? Where were you?

Questions circled amidst your clouded mind as you lay immobile. You realized that the pressure you were feeling on your body was the weight of someone’s hands. How badly were you injured?

Memories flooded into your mind as you became aware of the situation you were in currently. Someone had rescued you at Fort Slava, and you were being treated at a medical facility by nurses. No, not nurses; the hands felt oddly familiar. They were careful and precise in their movements but carried tenderness as well.

You tried to take a deep breath in, to gather strength to move any one of your limbs, but paused immediately as the pain in your ribs was far too great. Shallow breaths would suffice for the time being. You began to focus on moving your fingers, channelling whatever energy you had left to at least get them to move.

The sheets underneath your fingers were soft as you gently moved your digits along the fabric. The hands on your thigh briefly paused before continuing their movements. You waited a minute before moving again, this time lifting your hand.

You couldn’t feel the hands on your body anymore.

Whoever had been treating your wounds whispered your name. It was a man, but you weren’t able to recognize their voice as everything was still groggy.

The man sharply inhaled, his voice shaking as he said your name once again.

You mustered the strength to open your eyes; your eyelids were heavy and hard to fight to keep open. The room was blurry and far too bright for your liking, but you continued to blink, and soon, the details surrounding you came into focus. The figure was still, waiting for your next move; you lolled your head to the side to get a better look at him.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

He slowly came into focus; he was holding your hand between his and planting kisses on the back of your palm.

Why was he apologizing? Who was he?

Your heartbeat quickened as his voice became more apparent; this had to be some sick nightmare. You slowly sat up and reached out to him to cement the fact that this couldn’t be real. Your hand made contact with his knee; he was warm, he was alive.

Tears were running down your cheeks as your eyes scanned up his frame until landing on his face. Jean stared back at you, eyes wide, your hand still held in his.

Your face contorted as you took in the sight in front of you; you were so sure you had lost him, and yet here he was. Sitting up fully, you used your free hand to grip on to his white button-down and pull him into you with whatever remaining strength you had. Jean dropped your hand, and you swiftly wrapped both of your arms around him, eyes fluttering shut to take in his presence.

A pile of burnt bones.

It wasn’t a dream; you could feel his heartbeat against your body, feel his hair against your cheek. You sobbed into the crook of his neck, ignoring the immense pain you were feeling, scared that if you let him go, he would scatter in the wind.

“Jean, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry, I should’ve told you-” Your voice was scratchy and hoarse, still weak from the slumber which had woken from a few minutes ago.

He brought a hand up to rest against your head, “I’m the one who’s sorry; why are you apologizing?” Jean pulled away from you, causing you to wince.

You furrowed your brows in confusion; he gently laid you back down on the bed before continuing, “I hurt you when I transformed into a titan; I’m the one who’s responsible-” Jean paused, his eyes landing on the gauze on your upper leg.

He wasn’t making any sense to you; shaking your head, you frowned at him, “What do you mean? I saw you transform before I passed out; I got injured by the rubble falling from the fort.”

“I should be apologizing, not you. When we were in the airship, you told me you loved me, and I ignored you, Jean, and then I thought you died and lost you. I’m terrible-” You looked up at him through teary eyes; Jean wiped your tears before kissing your cheeks.

“All this time, I was scared that I had almost killed you, and here you thought that I was dead.” He whispered, hands caressing your cheek.

“You’re not dead right; if I close my eyes, you’ll still be here?” You brought your hand up to hold his, letting out a shaky breath.

“No, my love, I’m not dead, and I’m not going anywhere.” Jean pressed a light kiss to your forehead. You cautiously sat up before moving over slightly to make room for him on the small bed.

“Can you lie here with me? Don’t wanna let go of you yet.” He nodded his head before getting up from his seat to lie next to you.

You placed your head on his chest, eyes fluttering shut. Your hand traced the buttons on his shirt, slowly getting lulled to sleep by the sound of his steady heartbeat.

Jean’s fingers skimmed your side; overwhelming happiness filled his chest; he was relieved that you were alright and that he hadn’t been the one at fault for your current state. He felt you press a kiss where his heart was, and his lips curled into a smile.

“You know why I said what I said on the airship?”

“Hmm, why?” Your ears piqued in interest.

“Because I knew that even if I died, I’d find you again, somehow somewhere.”

You let out a sigh, silently thanking whoever it was that answered your prayers.

I love him and you brought him back to me.

a/n: i hope you enjoyed this !! any feedback is appreciated !! i tried something a little different than how i usually write, so please don't be shy to tell me if you liked it or not and what could be improved !!

also i apologize for not being active these past couple of days, my tumblr went haywire and i was shadowbanned, its all fixed now but again super sorry !!

taglist: @c0urtn3y, @depressedbisexual, @dai-tsukki-desu, @clean-soap, @nevcrmxre, @conniesspringersgf, @glittrkink

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As always, please leave a like/reblog if you enjoyed this, I appreciate it lots <33

[realcube]

trying to be nice to their crush hcs

navi | masterlist | taglist

thank you to 🍦anon for this cute request!

characters: tsukishima, kyōtani, sakusa & suna

content warning: swearing & sexual references 

kei tsukishima 

♡ this is all yamaguchi’s fault （︶^︶）

♡ he found out tsukki had a crush on you bc he mentioned you a lot in conversation so yamaguchi interrogated him for answers then lo and behold, the beanpole had a lil thing for you 

♡ you sit in front of tsukishima in homeroom while yamaguchi sits beside him so when you leaned back and asked him if you could borrow a pencil and he spat back a snarky remark about you being too irresponsible to care for your own pencils, yamaguchi hastily offered you one of his own before scolding tsukishima 

♡ he explained to his clueless friend that being nasty to people isn’t a good way to get them to like you 

♡ so perhaps he should be nicer :)

♡ honestly, tsukishima would’ve just looked yamaguchi straight in the eyes and went ‘no’, if it wasn’t for the fact you shot tadashi the sweetest smile anD PLAYFULLY BLEW HIM A KISS AFTER HE JUST GAVE YOU A DAMN PENCIL LIKE WTF 

♡ after that, he decided to give up his current personality and pick up a new one 

♡ jk jk 

♡ but he had to binge a whole bunch of those youtube psychology videos that are like ‘psychological tricks to make people like you’ and ‘THESE 5 MIND TRICKS WILL MAKE YOU THE MOST POPULAR PERSON *EVER*’!!

♡ spoiler alert: he wasn’t the most popular person but perhaps that was bc he only went to the effort of using those tricks on you 

♡ god bless him; he tries hard, he really does. (not his best, just hard)

♡ but you don’t have to be extremely observant to realise that he’s began acting different around you and of course, it confused you seeing tsukishima being nice

♡ what irritated you was how dismissive he was being of your questions though, as he was clearly trying to lead you to believe that you were crazy and he’s just always been a nice guy 

♡ but as soon as he figures out that he angered you, he’ll instantly switch back to him normal self - draining his mind of the hours of phycology studying he did last night to just pretend like it never happened 

♡ and if he’s feeling flirty, he might be extra mean to you （￣︶￣）

♡ also he makes a mental note to never take yamaguchi’s romance advice ever again 🙄

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you sighed, removing your hand from your bag after desperately rummaging through it in search of a pencil once again - deja vu. once you accepted that a pencil wasn’t going to materialise out of thin air, you peered over your shoulder and tapped the corner of yamaguchi’s desk, who wore a suspicious grin which you decided against questioning. 

“yamaguchi, do you think i could borrow a pencil again? sorry, this is the last time, i swear. i’ll be sure to get some on my way home after school tod--” 

yamaguchi dropped the line him and tsukishima had rehearsed many times beforehand, while clutching his pencilcase dear to his chest, “woah, (y/n). you’re so irresponsible. sorry, i can’t lend one of my pristine pencils to someone who is too forgetful to remember to buy some; what if you forget to return it to me?” 

tsukishima cringed at how forced it sounded but he couldn’t help but admire yamaguchi's dedication to his role. this allowed tsukishima to swoop in, pencil in hand, “here.” that wasn’t in the script but he panicked! okay, now, eye contact. 

you just sat there and stared at both of them with the most dumbfounded look plastered on your face. what just happened?  why were they both acting like they were in drama class?  and why are they both so bad at acting? they’re both passing performing arts for fucks’ sake!

kentarō kyōtani 

♡ sorry but i firmly believe kyōtani is the sorta guy to be extra mean to ppl he fancies smh

♡ the rest of them just act (somewhat) like themselves around their crush but kyōtani is himself2 (himself^2)

♡ like one time yahaba found you trembling in your locker bc you had gotten mud on mad dog’s white shoes so he chased you through the hallways of the school, threatening to trek mud on your forehead 

♡ yahaba took it upon himself to investigate as to why kyōtani was so rude to you and he got his answer as soon as he mentioned your name to mad dog and the boy’s face immediately flushed red 

♡ so after practise, yahaba schools mad dog on how to get chicks (⌐■_■)

♡ in short, his advice was ‘good guys get laid’ and for kyōtani’s understanding, ‘good’ and ‘kind’ were interchangeable 

♡ mad dog wasn’t completely oblivious to how he treated you and he was aware that he was far from ‘kind’

♡ although he usually doesn’t listen to people in general, yahaba seemed to know what he was talking about so he figured there was no harm in trying to be nice 

♡ but ngl, he just spent the rest of the day wondering...what is kind?

♡ after a few messages back and forth with yahaba, he figured that the best place to start was by apologising for - y’know - chasing you around the whole school 

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

“oi!” kyōtani bellowed through hallway, paying no mind to the students that cast him dirty looks as his sights were locked on you. standing unsuspecting by your locker, stuffing your textbooks into your bag until you heard his deep voice echo through the hall, to which you visibly perked up and began frantically looking around.

he marched towards you, hands in pockets and when you noticed him out of the corner of your eye, you were more than ready to drop all your shit and bolt away. but he didn’t let you as before you were able to take off on your heels, he grabbed your shoulder and spun you around to face him - then he noticed your hands raised in defence by your face and your head hung low.

his heart sank and his grip on your shoulder immediately softened, “i’m not gonna punch you, idiot.” he spat, rolling his eyes and gritting his teeth, trying to appear angry in hopes you’d mistake his light blush for pure rage. 

“i just wanted to say that i felt bad for chasing you through the halls yesterday - you didn’t stand a chance so i guess it was a bit unfair.” he said, frowning as you replied with silence so the duty fell on him to fill it, “and i got the stain out, anyway so.” 

more silence. lovely.

suddenly, he puffed his cheeks out as his eyes snapped to meet yours and he roared, “ARE YOU GONNA FUCKING SAY SOMETHING OR ARE YOU TOO BRAINDE-”

“are you wearing eyeliner?” 

and that was the true story behind why you missed last period, because you and kyōtani had a 30 minute conversation about eyeliner and make-up, then he convinced you to skip the rest of class with him so he could buy you ramen as an apology gift.

so yeah, he figured that perhaps he should try being nice more often.

kiyoomi sakusa

♡ he didn’t need someone to tell him to be nicer, he’s just predisposed to attempt to show kindness to someone he is fond of

♡ in his mind, showing kindness, respect and stripping himself of all his personality = the only way to be desirable 

♡ (ofc this takes place before he meets atsumu tho lol)

♡ so it’s not the realisation that’s the problem for him, it’s the execution 

♡ like how is he supposed to be nice without either sounding creepy or condescending? 

♡ *cut to sakusa practising in the bathroom mirror* ‘your hand looks- no-’ he scoffs, flicking cold water onto his face, ‘your hair looks cool- pretty- nice?’

♡ *camera pans to sakusa laying in bed, staring intently at the ceiling while imagining vivid and scarily detailed scenarios about ways he could mess up while talking to you* 

♡ *camera zooms in on sakusa’s face as he manifests a nicer version of himself*

♡ he might - depending on how insecure he is - watch one of those psychology videos or read a wikihow for help

♡ but other than that, he independently tries to alter his personality in order to gain your favour bc..true love ?

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you smiled as a basketball rolled up to your feet during gym class, followed by the sound of someone approaching you and upon raising your gaze, your eyes met sakusa’s unmistakable black ones. his face hovered only a few inches away from yours due to the fact you had both reached down to pick up the ball at the same time.

he quickly pulled himself away, tucking the basketball under his elbow as he adjusted his mask so it properly covered his face to ensure that you didn’t see the light blush slowly spreading across his cheeks. he then proceeded to blurt out what he had been rehearsing for the past few nights, “oh, thank you, (y/n). your hair looks lovely today, by the way.”

you giggled, holding your hands firmly by your side to avoid fidgeting and making it obvious that his sudden comment flustered you, “thanks, sakusa. and, if we’re handing out compliments today, i didn’t know you were good at any sport other than volleyball but you’re doing surprisingly well at basketball.” you joked, your lips slowly curling into a cocky smirk, “though, i don’t think you’d stand a chance against my team.” 

god, you’re such a tease. you make it so hard for him to be nice to you. so, of course, your comment returned his ability to utter almost every sarcastic comment that comes to mind - screw being likeable. “you think so?” he quirked a brow, tossing the ball onto your lap then pacing backwards, “go on, then.”

rintarō suna

♡ it was probably those tips on social media that told him he has to be nicer 

♡ and plus he saw terushima get all the chicks and he was just sitting there like ‘where are my bitches at? 🥺’

♡ anyway, all the guys on social media that had girls lining up outside their door always had one thing in common: misogyny  obnoxious personalities !!

♡ and his whole personality was a sacrifice suna was willing and ready to make for just a crumb of cooch  🤲

♡ though you weren’t exactly his crush yet, suna thought you were the best person to carry out this experiment with bc he heard through the grapevine that you had a crush on him so perhaps this would make you happy

♡ he didn’t prepare much beforehand though which he immediately regretted as soon as he approached you bc admittedly, his game plan of ‘be self-assured but friendly’ was a bit vague 

♡ so he basically just had to bullshit through a whole, awkward conversation with you while wearing a forced ‘bold’ smirk which, in reality, looked as though he had just seen tiddies for the first time 

♡ hardly self-assured or friendly 

♡ also, the fact you thought he was playing a prank on you must’ve drastically altered the results of his experiment 

♡ at one point he says something extremely stupid you’d just quit playing along and just blurt out ‘wtf is wrong with you today’

♡ to which he’d be like ‘ahaha, nuthin much bbg, how bout you?’

♡ THE EXPERIEMNT ISN’T OVER UNTIL HE SAYS IT’S OVER OKAy?!

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

you rubbed your temples in order to soothe the throbbing headache suna gave you simply by existing. like yes, you had a crush on him 10 minutes ago - but that was before he came up to you and started acting like terushima on dodgy medication. “oh and your skin is glowing bab--”

“jesus christ, rintarō, shut up!” you cried, gripping the edge of your skirt to prevent your self from delivering a swift punch right to his stupid face. he’s seriously gotten on all your nerves at this point; firstly, by spamming your phone in the middle of the night asking for homework answers (accompanied by cursed memes) as he actually managed to wake you up. secondly, by acting so oblivious to the fact you clearly had a crush on him and now, this!

heat rose to his cheeks in embarrassment as his creepy smile instantly fell right back into his resting bitch face, “this isn’t working, is it?” 

“what’s not working?”

suna scoffed, rolling his eyes - his façade having evidently disappeared. “this.” he sighed, looking around as if someone was going to save him before his eyes finally settled on you and he was reminded of what he wanted in the first place, his sparkle was rekindled for just a moment which caused him to blurt out, “just fuck me already, i’m not asking for much.”

[marsipspans]

i finished reading 泾渭情殇 - Jing Wei Qing Shang - Clear and Muddy Loss of Love and have several comments.

Not too Spoiler-y

- The schemes really do last all 300+ chapters and there are a lot of revenge schemes.

- Quite a few parts get pretty dark.

- It’s mostly presented from Qi Yan | Qiyan Agula’s and Nangong Jingnu’s POV.

- Wasn’t sure what to expect when the author said there was a happy ending despite all the things that happened between the main two, but it could apply. One of the better ways it could realistically end I suppose.

- “Ruse of Self-Inflicted Suffering” Indeed. Very applicable. Iconic words for this novel.

- Was enjoyable throughout. There are two Acts in the book basically and it covers the main pairing in their youth to their “retirement”.

More specific comments (w/ spoilers) under the readmore

- The amount of Times Nangong Jingnu is all “Wow, Qi Yan is prettier than woman”. The fact that the ministers in court notice that Qi Yan has not grown any facial hair despite everyone else having grown some and people thinking that she’s shaving because that’s her wife’s preference.

- Qiyan Agula’s unintended pining from the beginning to the end really did end up saving her life lol, kudos to the doting for ur enemy.

- so all three Nangong sisters had relationships w/ women at some point huh. And 2/3 stayed in said relationships. Nice.

- Was Ding You into Qiyan Agula? Was Gu Rolan also into Qiyan Agula? and Nangong Lie for a bit also?

- Qiyan Agula is canonically handsome.

- Qiyan Agula also almost dies more than a few times. The path of revenge is not kind to her. not at all. Needs more post-canon fluff. Where’s the post-canon memory recovery fluff fanfic that the people need. But also the fanfic expanding on what Qiyan Agula does w/ the rest of her life after revenge besides remarrying Nangong Jingnu in that fishing village. Throughout the novel, it seems to be implied that she actually would be a good teacher and it seems to be what she settles on in the end, but that’s because Ding You got it for her so she stopped staying inside all day and pretty much doing nothing. Story ends on that hopeful note that Qiyan Agula probably eventually recovers her memory with Nangong Jingnu, but the specifics aren’t given as the POV is more from an outside narrator than one of the two main characters at this point.

- First translated webnovel I actually finished reading and the one I’ll figure out how to use JJWXC for. I liked the premise and the plot throughout. The prose was unfamiliar to me, but didn’t end up being a pro or a con. I really liked it. Took about 3-ish weeks to get through it.

Specific Chapters

- Ch 65 : QiJing vibing by a koi pond and Qi Yan plays the Xiao. That’s kinda gay.

- Ch 76 : Damn, I wish there was a official design for Jiya. Also Nangong Jingnu almost discovers Qi Yan is a woman bc of the pierced ear, but not quite. Tender moment in this chapter. Nice.

- Ch 110 : A description of Qi Yan’s default appearances (One of the few specific descriptions in the entire thing, for fanart purposes if that ever happens)

- Ch 119 : Jiya and Nangong Shunu did what

- Ch 130 : Twins have been born under fucky circumstances.

- Ch 144 : Qi Yan and Nangong Jingnu have a playful moment in the rain. It’s cute. Fanart?

- Ch 145 : Oh, Qi Yan cried in front of Nangong Jingnu. Stress and guilt is bad for ur health.

- Ch 146 & 147 : Nangong Shunu and Qiyan Nomin did what? Oh, also the Fuma estate was set on fire. R.I.P.

- Ch 150 : Female Empress?! “I don’t want to die” - “Then just don’t lose” Oh boy.

- Ch 152 : Boom, an imperial exam. Qi Yan is only mildly treasonous in her job as main examiner.

- Ch 153 : “She had once again entrusted her fate and survival to Nangong Jingnu” just like with the fire earlier and the entire thing with Xiao Die.

- Ch 162 : That one nightmare where Qi Yan killed Nangong Jingnu cause revenge. Bad vibes for Qi Yan.

- Ch 206 : Qi Yan carried Nangong Jingnu back to her room and confessed she’s a woman while Jingnu is passed the fuck out from drinking.

- Ch 212 : Qi Yan p much says to hell w/ it after waking up from her poisoning. If u kno what i mean

- Ch 228 : Female Emperor!!

- Ch 231 : Nangong Jingnu is the empress, but there are 73 chapters left. What’s next, when will Qi Yan’s scheming be revealed?

- Ch 238 : Longevity festival or Nangong Jingnu’s birthday p much. Another detailed description of formal Imperial Husband clothing, one of the few so far also.

- Ch 252 : Agula goes to the You province. More clothing descriptions cause I like to collect those.

- Truly, the way that Jingnu is consistently on Agula’s side.

- Ch 276 : Qiyan Agula and Gu Rolan become sworn siblings and there’s a brief POV from Gu Rolan on QiJing as a couple. Jingnu trims a candle and Agula watches for a moment while lamenting that she didn’t learn painting. Gay.

- Ch 295 : The Grand Court Meeting. Reinstate the Husband. All this after Qian Tong put in that complaint. See, it pays to make loyal allies.

- Ch 296 : QiJing meets again.

- Ch 297 : “Who’s the wife” quote.

- Ch 300+ : Ding You is alive after all this time. And is back to help cure Qiyan Agula.

- Ch 302 : Even this late in the story, the schemes really don’t stop, but hm. Interesting.

- Damn, if it wasn’t for Qiyan Agula’s nice ass calligraphy, she wouldn’t have been found. Don’t like the thought of them never meeting again after separating like that.

- Extra 304 : The Masked Person’s backstory! How interesting, there seem to be some parallels between Qiyan Agula and this person.

[starglow-xx]

owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada and the port mafia (part 3)

platonic! yosano akiko x f! reader

type of writing: head canons !!

this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting those fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them. but only at the cost of your peace and sanity.

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff & platonic stuff but trigger warning!! there may be a sensitive topic for others

*getting grabbed and pulled to an alleyway! alcohol mentioned!*

please remember that yokohama isn’t the friendliest place, especially at night.

previous: part 2 : their beloved president

author’s note: same ages as last time!! (so that means everyone is one year younger than canon; that makes yosano 24)

this one is actually pretty long :0

i got info abt her likes on her wiki page (careful! there’s spoilers!)

and yosano is a queen and no one can tell me otherwise

the doctor is in the house (quite literally)

going grocery shopping was an okay chore in your opinion

it honestly depended on your mood or whatever kind of shit happens when you go shopping

cause like something always, always happens whenever you go do groceries

sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes it’s just plain weird

one time some weirdo proposed to you in the middle of the store asking for a double suicide

he was good looking you’d admit but it’s not like you’d ever see him again

or so you thought

a n y w a y s

every so often, you’d run out of real person food in your apartment

you mostly survive off all of the leftover bakery treats and ingredients—which works out pretty well actually—but bakery supplies unfortunately also run out quite often

and also unfortunately, one time when both fukuzawa & ranpo took a visit to Sakura’s, fukuzawa argued that “no you can’t live off sweets for the rest of your life”

ranpo was scandalized and scrambled to cover your ears

you guys were at it for a while

in the end you sided with fukuzawa causing ranpo to go off about “betrayal from the people he cared most abt” or smth like that

you guys were okay again after bribing him with sweets :)

for bakery supplies you usually have them delivered bc you order them in large quantities bc ahaha no way were you gonna carry like 15-20 50 pound bags of flour no way

when days like those happen, you close up the bakery early so you aren’t walking home when it’s too dark

you scheduled it to happen every first saturday of the month

on those saturdays, you close at 5 instead of at 8

currently, you were at the grocery store looking for basic cooking ingredients such as proteins, vegetables, fruits, and most importantly, snacks

ranpo’s been rubbing off on you

the sun was starting to set and you were walking home with your two bags of groceries when shit went down

tbh you were kinda expecting it cause your grocery run was peaceful for once

but what you weren’t expecting was a wack-a-do to appear out of goddamn nowhere right when you were opening the side door to get to the staircase up to your apartment

like honestly

let a woman do her own thing

the man who grabbed you tried to covered your mouth so you couldn’t scream but you didn’t exactly make it easy for him

you kicked and thrashed around even using the grocery bags—that were somehow still in your hand—as a weapon and the man struggled but he was still bigger than you and was able to bring you to a nearby alley

he reeked of alcohol and you spotted a wedding band on his left hand

not that you cared about the detail in the moment

you kicked him in the groin and in response he let you go only to fall on broken glass that was in the alley way

using the wall to help yourself up, you grabbed a nearby wooden stick and struck him right on his back

your attacker fell and you immediately turned on your heels to escape only to fall back down on the hard cold ground once again

you lift your face up and look back to see the man holding onto your ankle

grabbing a shard of glass—cutting yourself in the process— you begin to swing it at him only for him to easily grip your wrist and stop you

you get ready try and kick him in the groin again but you’re interrupted as your attacker gets sucker punched and flies to wall

you look up to see your savior and you’re blessed to see a beautiful woman, probably not that much older than you are—she’s probably around ranpo’s age— donning a white long sleeve button up, a matching black necktie, knee length skirt, and gloves, along with tights, red heels, and a pretty butterfly clip in her short black hair

but what you really notice is her eyes

ranpo’s eyes were pretty but you like hers just a bit more

you’ve always liked the color magenta

the pretty lady holds out her hand and you take it graciously and thank her as she helps you up

as that’s happening, your attacker gets himself onto his feet and his groan catches both of your attention

he struggles to stand and the pretty lady simples saunters over to him and delivers an uppercut knocking him out cold

you’re stunned and you breathe out a “thank you” making her turn towards you

she notices the condition you’re in

bleeding scrapes on your hands, arms and legs, small rips in your clothes like your tights, blouse, and skirt, and the ruffled state of your hair and clothing

she asks if you live nearby and you tell her that you own the bakery that’s one or two buildings away

when you tell her that, it clicks in her mind that you must be the bakery girl ranpo’s been talking about and the friend fukuzawa was cat sitting for

it’s been abt two weeks since ranpo and fukuzawa first met you and since then, they’ve seen lucky in the office plenty and the boxes of your signature sweets even more

if those two trust you, she has no reason not to

she smiles at you, holds out her hand for you to shake, and introduces herself as the doctor of the armed detective agency

your eyes widen and you smile back at her shaking her hand

“ah! you must be yosano-sensei then! ranpo-san and fukuzawa-san have talked about you! it’s so nice to meet you! im (l/n) (y/n)!”

“they’ve talked about you too, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you (y/n)”

after that exchange she insisted on bringing you home to treat you wounds which you told her it wasn’t necessary

she gave you a pointed look and that was when you realized what state you were in

you sighed and weakly gave in to which she only grinned at

before leaving the alley she walks over to the unconscious man and pulls out his wallet for some sort of identification and home address as you try to see if there’s any groceries still salvageable

after texting the details to kunikida, yosano turns to you poking around the now ruined grocery bags

she simply rubs your back and tells you that the both of you could go buy more groceries together as she was meaning to get some anyways; she even said she’ll pay for you

you refused obviously but she, unknowingly, used the same tactic fukuzawa used with you

“so you’re saying you don’t need groceries?”

“...”

*cue an eyebrow raise from our resident queen*

“...you agency members don’t like making things easy for me huh.”

you gave in reluctantly and at this point you don’t even know why you try negotiating with them

and that’s only three of them

apparently, she was on the other side of the street on the way to buy groceries for the agency when she noticed different produce items on the other sidewalk leading to the alley and she went to check out what happened

ironically, the way to the grocery store from the agency makes you go past Sakura’s but she didn’t realize it until after the two of you had met

before you know it, the two of you are in your apartment kitchen as she cleans and patches up all of your wounds

as she does so the two of you have a little girl talk

you find it quite comforting bc since you opened up Sakura’s you haven’t really had the chance to connect to many people much less other women

you definitely see yosano as your cool, loving, badass older sister

she thinks you’re adorable and agrees with ranpo’s opinion

yup 

that’s right

the opinion that you’re like a little kid </3

you called it a betrayal and all she did was laugh at you <//3

“awhh that’s really cool yosano-sensei!—MFPH?!?”

*squishing your cheeks the same way ranpo did* “ranpo-san was right (n/n)-chan, your cheeks are squishy!”

“?!”

after that small fiasco, the two of you talked some more and bonded over your love for flowers, japanese sweets, and much more!!

you even made a date to have a girls day to go shopping and eat out!

you’re internally squealing a bit bc it’s been a while since you’ve gone shopping

yosano notices and she giggles behind her hand not saying anything bc she knows you’ll only throw a fit

the two of you came around the topic of ranpo when lucky passed by

lucky quickly warmed up to the doctor and cozied up in her lap

“i wish ranpo-san was able to meet lucky when he came by the first time, but then again, he’d probably throw a tantrum if i don’t pay attention to him for 5 seconds”

she snorted at that and like fukuzawa, she shared stories abt the slightly older male

“ranpo-san doesn’t know how to ride a train?”

“unbelievable right?”

“for someone so intelligent i expected more from him”

“i’ll be telling that to ranpo-san, (n/n)-chan”

“wha—?! yosano-sensei please don’t!”

like ranpo, she’s also a tease </3

but you love her anyway <3

eventually, she finished patching you up and promised to treat you to a new set of clothes when the two of you go out

“you don’t need to lose a good set of clothes just because of a sleazy man (n/n)-chan! you deserve better!”

you were going to argue that the rips in your clothes were fairly small and could easily be fixed—except the tights—but you stopped in your tracks when you remembered that it was practically useless to argue against an ada member

the two of you walked to the grocery store and bought both of your needed supplies—along with some extra goodies—and then she walked you back to your place bc it was already a bit dark out

but even if it wasn’t, she would walk you anyways

besides, if anything happened to you, she’s 1000% positive that ranpo and fukuzawa are gonna flip the fuck out not that she wont cause she most definitely will

speaking of which

you were drinking a bottle of water as the two of made your way back to Sakura’s when all of a sudden

“(y/n) you do realize that i have to tell shachou and ranpo-san about what happened today right?”

you choked on your water

“yosano-sensei you can’t! if you do they’ll freak! they won’t leave me alone for at least two weeks! one if im lucky!”

“exactly the point”

you just accepted your defeat already knowing that you’d lose

but maybe you can simmer down their anger towards the bastard with sweets and lucky

you arrived at Sakura’s shortly after and after bringing groceries in, you packaged a bunch of pastries leftover from today—bc you closed early—and bc you’re well aware that ranpo doesn’t share any of the sweets you send him with

you even gave yosano her own special box filled with goodies she loves, and a thermos of fukuzawa’s favorite, your special hot honey lemon tea

other than the sweets, you prepared lucky to spend the night at fukuzawa’s

you really really hoped that doing these things would make them calm down

you shivered at the thought of what their responses would be

you felt really bad for giving yosano all these things to carry and that you were keeping her very late

she assured you that she was fine and that if someone tried to mess with her she’d kick their ass

and after exchanging numbers, the magenta eyed queen bid you a good night and walked back to the agency with lucky walking by her heels

arriving back at the agency, yosano was greeted with some concerns asking if she was alright bc she came back from her grocery run pretty late

(she usually goes in the mornings but today was pretty busy so she left in the late afternoon but now it was already dark)

she waved off the concerns and plopped a couple boxes of your signature bakery boxes at ranpo’s desk, the one for her at her own, the last few boxes in the kitchen for any other agent or clerk to grab, placed the thermos on the desk fukuzawa was by, and picked up lucky and handed him to the president

the two males were pleased with what yosano had brought them, and pleased that another agency member had the chance to meet you

fukuzawa was rubbing lucky and ranpo already snacking on treats as yosano expected

but here comes the hard part

or maybe it’s gonna amusing who knows

“i met (y/n) today.”

“we could tell.”

in goes another treat in the green eyed man’s mouth

“would you like to know how?”

“you bumped into each other, had girl talk, made plans to go out, went grocery shopping, and you brought me and shachou presents.”

“great job ranpo-san, you’re almost completely correct.”

this caught the attention of basically everyone bc they knew ranpo was never “almost completely correct”

“we ended up meeting bc she got attacked on her way home from grocery shopping, i treated her wounds, then we had girl talk and did all the other stuff”

ranpo and fukuzawa froze right in their tracks

“i sent all the info of the bastard to kunikida”

“kunikida.”

“yes shachou”

“find out everything about that man and bring it to me and ranpo”

“...yes shachou”

“and yosano”

“yes?”

“text (y/n) and tell her that her cat, tea, and pastries aren’t going to work as a bribe”

just as you finished taking a shower you sneezed

<<previous // next >>

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[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[iamanartichoke]

[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers]

Yes, I did just watch episode 2 at 5:30 in the morning.

No, I am not sorry. Not at the moment, although when I inevitably crash later this afternoon, I will be.

Just some very, very quick - and scattered and messy - thoughts: That is a straight up lie; they’re definitely scattered and messy but not very quick at all.

Under the cut for spoilers and length.

I’m going to start with Loki’s characterization. My honest opinion is that Loki’s overall characterization feels like a fic characterization. He definitely is not Avengers Loki, like, at all. I don't know if Tom just, like, forgot how to play that Loki or ...?? That, or Loki was so much more mind-controlled than we realized and getting hulk-smashed just completely reset him back to zero but also fucked him up a little bit and affected his personality, kind of like how some people completely develop weird new personality quirks after a traumatic brain injury.

… yeah, I think that’s where I’m gonna land for now. TV series!Loki feels like a more-or-less canon version of Loki, but if that Loki got hit in the head really hard and now he’s just a little bit fucked up but overall no worse for the wear. Which - it may be that it’s so early in the morning, but that’s actually really fucking funny to me, lmao. God, I kill me. It’s not funny.

No, but, that’s pretty much how I feel. He’s ooc but he’s also ic, and the reason I’m not particularly bothered by the inconsistency, for lack of a better word, is because that’s what pretty much every fic Loki already feels like to me? (Including my own, so I’m not, like, saying that in a derogatory way.) Which is why I say Loki feels like a fic!Loki and to try to explain it better - there is always, for me, a little suspension of disbelief that I employ when I read fic. The reason for that is because the context, the plot, and the dynamics of the fic are usually pretty different than what we ever get in canon, so it becomes a matter of taking film!Loki and, like, bending him a bit in order to fit him into the perimeters of the fic.

The result ends up being that I don’t see the exact Avengers!Loki or TDW!Loki, and thus by definition the portrayal is ooc, but the version that I do see feels like a genuine extension of the canon version, possessing enough of Loki’s overall traits and characteristics that he feels authentic, albeit a bit pretzeled for the new context.

I honestly think that’s something that’s unavoidable, just due to the fact that in fic - and now, in this series - there are a lot more variables at play than there are in the films, wherein Loki is not just a supporting character but also the villain/antagonist and is therefore very limited in what he does/what the narrative allows him to do. When those limitations are taken away, what are we going to see? Probably a lot of different things, and yeah, a lot of them are going to feel a little ooc. And, like in fic, even if the characterization mostly lands, there are definitely bits and pieces (some fics more than others lean this way) where the author didn’t stick the landing or got carried away or otherwise probably forgot for a while that they were writing Loki, not their own OC.

That’s the point where it strays into cringe territory for me (and where the ‘heh, he’s Loki but with a brain injury’ aspect comes in), but while I had to consciously decide to just ignore those moments, overall the tone in this episode felt a bit more balanced between the new, the old, and the cringe, and less whiplash-y from the beginning of the episode to the end.

… I have no idea if that makes sense, but what I’m basically saying is that while I am enjoying this version of Loki, I do recognize all of the ways he’s ooc but, unlike how I feel about Ragnarok!Loki, the ooc-ness feels genuine and unavoidable rather than just a fundamental and careless misunderstanding of the character altogether. In other words, I feel like any ooc-ness here is happening despite the writers taking care to do their best, and isn’t just a result of Loki being lazily written by a person or persons who just doesn’t want to bother with him at all.

Again, I don’t know if that makes sense, but fuck it, there we are and I’m moving on.

I liked all of the little details, including again, things that felt straight out of fic, like Loki asking Mobius why he has the jetski magazine. (Also, if any of my thorki friends read this, was I the only one who noticed that when we see Loki reading the magazine, it just happens to be open to a page with a picture featuring a jet skier who looks like Thor? l.m.a.o.)

Loki interrupting things to explain the difference between illusions vs the other power (I can’t remember which one, off hand, and if I stop writing to go look it up I will lose my train of thought and not finish this) was great, but his overall input and contributions to the missions inspired very mixed feelings for me. On the one hand, I loved that the narrative, via Loki, is reminding us of all these things that he’s capable of that the films generally left out or brushed aside or ignored - but, every time he spoke, he was met with eye rolls and sighs and just a general feeling of “someone please shut this guy up” and I didn’t like the narrative treating him that way.

But also, it’s understandable bc none of the people on his team are actually on his team. None of them want him there (story of Loki’s fucking life), none of them trust him, and none of them are particularly interested in hearing what he has to say. So it’s like, I understand why they reacted the way they did, and I don’t think their reactions are meant to support an overall narrative undermining of Loki’s skills and input - but, the tone is hard to read for me bc I am very defensive and protective of Loki. I can’t quite determine the line between the TVA agents being unreliable narrators (ie, they’re annoyed by Loki bc of who he is to them, but that doesn’t mean the audience is supposed to feel the same) and the TVA agents validating that Loki is just being a nuisance (and, thus, the audience is supposed to feel the same).

That is, I know how I am consuming the narrative (that they’re unreliable narrators), but I’m not sure if that’s how tptb are intending for me to consume the narrative - and I guess it doesn’t really matter, but it’s worth mentioning.

In general, I really liked, again, Loki existing in his own space and watching the way he carried himself. I especially found it interesting that his hands were almost always in his pockets - for one thing it's a stance I tend to imagine him taking often in fic, but also it’s kind of a weird choice bc pockets don’t seem to be a thing in Asgardian clothing. It makes me feel like Loki is the kind of person who never knows what to do with his hands but is always conscious of them, as is common among anxious and self-conscious people, and I just find that relatable on a weird level.

I am really kinda torn on Mobius in this episode; when not interrogating Loki, he’s much less antagonistic toward Loki and therefore I’m more inclined to take-him-or-leave-him but I’ll go ahead and take him I guess. Yet at the same time, bc he’s not interrogating Loki he’s also not trying to put on a show for Loki and when you take that away, he really doesn’t seem to like Loki at all. It supports that Mobius only wants what Loki can do for him and doesn’t actually particularly care about him as a person, which is fine and more or less what I figured, but it contributes to me not really being able to decide how I feel about him in general. Idk, though, I kinda like their dynamic? Like I want them to end up friends?

Regardless, Tom and Owen have amazing chemistry and it’s really funny to me bc (not to be a jerk) I honestly didn’t know Owen Wilson could act. Like, I’ve never seen him in a role where he wasn’t just playing Owen Wilson. So for him to not only be playing Mobius so well but also having such chemistry and a sense of holding-his-own against Tom Hiddleston is like, color me surprised but pleasantly so.

I like B-15 a lot, even though she obviously hates Loki, so idk why I like her but I do. I like Renslayer less, but meh. (Side note - when I was in undergrad in Syracuse, I took the Amtrak from Syracuse to Boston and back more than a few times, for reasons that aren’t relevant, and that route always had a layover at Albany-Rensselaer and every single time I see Renslayer’s name, I want to call her Rensselaer instead.) Shout out to the guest appearance by Casey, sorry Loki stole your juice lmfao.

The moments from the trailer that were very cringe were less so in context (though still kinda cringe, tbh). I think we’ve seen most of the content from the trailers in the first two episodes now, though, which means going forward, it’s going to be like 95% previously unseen material (aside from the brief apocalyptic shots and so forth).

One thing I fucking loved was how Loki, reading about Ragnarok, was visibly affected and even teared up a bit, and you could tell he was in his feels about it, but then later when Mobius expresses sympathy, Loki is just like, “Uh huh, very sad, but anyway.” It was a subtle (well maybe not that subtle) but effective way to remind us that what Loki presents to other people is more often than not a mask and he keeps his true feelings close to the chest. It makes last week’s breakdown have even more of an impact, I think, bc clearly Loki was at the end of his rope to allow himself to show that much raw emotion and vulnerability, but also - for me - there’s a niggling little doubt there that wasn’t there before, in that there was probably more performance in it than I thought.

By which I mean, I think his reaction to the film of his life when he was alone was genuine but, while I previously thought his admission to Mobius later was also genuine, I now think was probably half genuine and half performative. I know others already figured that out, but I’m a little slow and, also, I don’t mind changing my opinion and interpretation from week to week.

Along the same lines, I wasn’t exactly surprised to see that Loki is “undercover” in the TVA, but it was nice to see it acknowledged fairly quickly. Not sure I buy that Loki wants to overthrow and rule the TVA - it’s still a little too “Loki only wants a throne” for me, but again, just because that’s what he told the variant doesn’t mean that’s actually what he’s after.

And, finally, I like the variant, I love Loki’s reaction to seeing her, and while I realize that the show has acknowledged Loki’s gender fluidity and we’re meant to assume that Lady Loki (I guess? Not sure if we’re going with that or not here) is Loki, I saw a theory somewhere about how this is actually not Loki-Loki, but - I wanna say her name Sophie but that’s the actress, again I can’t go look it up bc I will lose my train of thought - but it’s a character who is similar to Amora and who was created by Loki and models herself as Loki but she’s actually someone else.

Ugh I can’t remember the details of the theory, but I am kinda going with it bc I don’t think that Loki would look so - not surprised but just kind of “oh, well, I wasn’t expecting that” if he were seeing the female version of himself. Like, he doesn’t seem to recognize her the way I assume he would recognize himself, male or female. Not only does that make me feel like she’s actually someone else, but also not recognizing her as the female version of himself doesn’t necessarily mean Loki doesn’t recognize her at all. He may very well recognize her as this other Amora-similar character and, if so, I really want to see how that character fits with MCU Loki (as I think she’s a comic book character but, again, I’d have to go back and find that theory).

Edit: I found a version of it here.

Overall score, B-. Mostly solid, but needs moar Loki breakdowns and tears. (That's just me, don't fucking judge me.) Also, I really hate that we have to wait a week between episodes. I wish they were following Netflix’s method of dropping the entire season at once but, then again, if they did that, I’m not sure any of us would survive.

I gotta get ready for work and I deleted and rewrote so much of this and it still seems nonsensical to me, lmfao fml. Anyway feel free to interact/send me asks/whatever, it’s going to be a long fucking day with all of this on my mind. I’ll be working my way through my dash as best as I can.

Oh, also! Loki is so fucking pretty in this episode! The TVA suit is ugly, but he makes it work, and his hair's combed nicely and he looks like he finally got an opportunity to sleep and shower and eat something and, yknow, it's working for him.

[felassan]

Thoughts on Dark Fortress #1

(This post is under a cut due to spoilers.)

NB, my thoughts on the first pages that came out in the preview are collected here [spoilers at link], so I won’t repeat myself.

Okay here we go :D I’ve posted up my fav panels but always want a space where I can burble at length.. (I’m late in posting this bc recently for the last few days I’ve been obsessing over politics in my country as it’s the run-up to election time.. I haven’t read anyone elses’ thoughts on it either so I could be behind on prevailing speculation or whats known or something) The preview pages ended at the panel when Aaron says “Vaea is right”, so that’s where I’m beginning.

I can’t put my finger on why but I really like the “don’t tell me I’ve had too much to drink” panel showing a Tevinter street. It’s a neat blend of “Tevinter is advanced relative to much of the rest of known Thedas, but also ominous, but also a place where people live and go about their lives, and also not going too heavy on the cyberpunk angle”. I dig the composition ‘leading’ the eye up the street and the consistency with the recently-seen DA4 materials that have red lighting in Tevinter buildings, similar building shapes etc. ig I’m pretty obsessed with the idea of the DA4 PC & party walking up streets like these.

I wonder how Aaron felt witnessing Tractus’ drunken scenes in the pub :(

Tractus’ attitude towards the barman here shows the influence and power Magisters wield in Tevinter, and the fear of them common among the mundane populace

digging the Tevinter-y motifs & design of the bartop, bar shelving etc. it feels like thought went into it

I’d watch a spinoff show or read a story where Marius and Ser Aaron have to team up in order to achieve something

Vaea is so badass and agile! I appreciate that the shot of her up high was tasteful and didn’t like, weirdly contort her body, have a weird leering angle or emphasize things in that way comic art often does for women at moments like these

so in Tevinter, lamps give off red light (seen in the bar scene). are the windowpanes themselves also red?

good thinking Vaea grabbing the staff. great sense of snappiness and motion in this panel. her landing reminds me of squirrels doing the superhero pose landing actually :) 

tfw you and a dog burst out of a wardrobe

Tractus recognizing Fenris, it seems - did they encounter each other when Tractus was young, or does he just know of him (distinctive markings and all that)? if the former, I have a feeling we might get a flashback scene to that time in a future issue

cutting to look at Francesca when Tractus talks about Fenris murdering his father is GENIUS. look at the sadness on her face here; “you murdered your father” is exactly what she’s been telling herself and struggling with all this time

nice to see staff-less magic in action

Tractus seems to have drawn power from the red orb set in his staff. he reaches out to it and it responds by glowing and the staff moving, but he wasn’t doing a Jedi ‘use my Jedi powers to make my thrown lightsaber [staff] return to my hand’, as you might expect, he was instead charging up and drawing magical energy/power from it [the orb], as seen by the red light in his hand in the next panel. this reinforces my earlier wonderings that the red orb is notable and that there’s some connection between it and his red eyes. later in the panel when he’s trying to cast on the floor his eyes seem lit up (altho it could just be lighting & dramatic effect)

I wonder if Fenris thinks of Anders and Justice when Tractus says “justice”. There was once a mage in Fenris’ life who was really focused on justice..

the combat scenes are beautifully drawn, thought out and colored

Fenris’ lines here are really metal, badass and impactful. I could hear Gideon Emery’s voice in my head as I read these bits - the word choice of “hounded” helps with that I think, it immediately recalls Fenris talking with anger about how Hadriana denied his meals and hounded his sleep. they nail how Fenris speaks, the pattern and words he tends to use, etc

PHASING POWERS in action!! this is very cool to see, this ability of his didn’t get touched on much at all in DA2 outside of combat or a few scenes

I enjoy the contrast between the red and blue glows

Fenris is understandably merciless 

“Perhaps if you had it carved into you” feels like foreshadowing for the ‘red wraith’

:( the reminder that the very thing Fenris struggles with feelings of hate and fear towards is carved into his skin for the rest of time and always will be

Vaea is brave to step in, standing up for what she believes is right and also re-centering focus on the critical mission at hand

;___; Autumn helping keep Tractus on the ground. she is such a good girl. she Help

“You’re lucky the mabari is here” - having Fenris in a dark light here relative to the rest of the panel is nicely symbolic

oh shit!! some plot advancement in terms of the ongoing story of the wider world. The Antaam have now reached Neromenian!! the invasion is progressing further and further into Tevinter. how far will it have come by the time of DA4? will there be an active war front not far from Minrathous? I appreciate the comics from this team a lot, here and there they push forward the ‘story of Thedas’ not just the story of the comic’s focus. also, I like that the Qunari soldiers here aren’t clones of one another but all look different. different hairstyles, sizes/bodies, clothes

love how our group work together, everyone has a strength and a role to play, the teamwork, the delegation, they’re like a DA basegame party or a D&D party

the way Fenris’ hand and arm glow in this sequence has been drawn/colored is smart - calling to mind the image of blue veins running through someone’s arm or below the skin on the backs of their hands

Fenris has surely picked up Fereldan sayings from Hawke.. stop .. my heart ;__;

the Fenris/Autumn exchange

this is so intense.. why do I get the feeling that Fenris has used this sort of torture technique before in his hunting and extermination of Danarius’ adult children campaign and/or his hunting of slavers as the BW with Shirallas campaign. it feels like he has done this sort of thing before in the time post-Kirkwall. I like that they didn’t hold back with a bit of gore here and there in this issue (phasing a hand and then solidifying it inside someone’s body, the Qunari attack portion in the street etc), while at the same time not being excessive with it.

this miniseries so far has good pacing, things moving along nicely and not being too slow or meandering

it’s smart having Tractus’ explanation of how to get in stay off-screen to the reader while we follow Francesca calling the alarm. It means we get to find out as we watch them infiltrate

omg those puncture wounds from his talons

when Fenris is about to kill Tractus after he tells him what he wanted to know, I’m strongly reminded of how he promised to let Hadriana go then killed her anyway, regardless of player choice. he has his ruthless streak and it feels like a callback. and before, when he was standing over Tractus when he was on the floor, echoes that scene in A Bitter Pill when he stands over Hadriana on the ground, who also reached for her staff

Tractus pale with bloodloss and fear

lmao @ Fran and Autumn’s faces when they walk in on this scene

Fenris listening to Vaea is nicely consistent with his character too imo - there are times in DA2 when Hawke can be like “Fenris no don’t do the Thing” and he doesn’t do the Thing

I have missed the way Fenris’ nose bridge crinkles when he’s angry

I wonder what the consequences of leaving Tractus alive will be. [tv announcer voice] FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DARK FORTRESS

so the ritual will only take minutes to complete huh 👀

wow Neromenian has truly fallen, reeducation of the people of Tevinter continues as in Three Trees to Midnight in TN

explaining that they are speaking in Qunlat is a nice immersive touch and shows attention to detail of the lore of the world

bobbly-shoulders Qunari, Legolas hair Qunari, septum piercing Qunari, bobbly-brow Qunari, undercut Qunari. I wonder if the shoulder and brow protrusions are aspects we’ll see in the Qunaris’ latest design in DA4?

poor Tractus can’t catch a break lol. it has Not been Tractus’ day

Karasten: an infantry field commander

bit of Tevinter lampshading, lil fourth wall break with “This land and its obsession with magic. There is always a forbidden ritual with them” hhhhhh

Ringwraith on a horse moment at the end there

strong ending, can’t wait for next month weww.. 👀

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[anakinthetrashking]

BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt1)

Making some fic-rec posts has been on my to-do list for a while and I’m finally doing it, yay! Currently I have 6 word doc pages full of just BnHA recs. So I’m splitting them up by length and completion, so first up is (part one of) one-shots! Let’s go!!!

Lets start with some classic Izuku and DadMight!

Pictures, Posters and Tender Beauty by ProPinkist (tumblr: @dazais-guardian-angel ) Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~4,400 words Summary: Izuku has virtually every All Might-themed item out there, and prides himself on all of it, as Toshinori is well aware. However, somehow, the boy still decided that there was something vital missing. This is fluffy and very cute. No one truly appreciates All Might as much as Izuku does, but 1A comes close. All Might deserves all the love, and this fic truly provides!!!

Dear Mr. All Might by QuizzicalCrow (tumblr: @quizzicalcrow​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,000 words Summary: As the #1 hero for decades, All Might has collected a lot of fan mail over the years. Toshinori tracks down a series of letters that only now, years later, does he appreciate for their significance.  I always love the thought of All Might looking through his fan mail, even if he can’t get to all of it. This was a wonderful glimpse into that AND it was made to be so, so personal and sweet. Go have some heart-healing fluff.

Growing Pains by LordofLies (tumblr: @theangelofchildren ) Rating: G   Category: Gen    ~5,900 words Summary: Izuku finds himself changed by his encounter with the Hero Killer, but changes of a more physical kind are in store for him as he begins to truly accept One for All as his own. Once, he would have been thrilled to look more like All Might, but now those connections are as much a source of anxiety as they are of pride.Or, Izuku wakes up one morning and sees the world through different eyes. Izuku having anxiety and Toshi being there to help him through it and calm him down? Sign me UP. Its also a pretty cool take on how One for All is able to change things about it’s holder. Could this happen in cannon? Who knows.... Regardless, it was a great read!

I’ll Carry You Home by Renesvetta Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,700 words Summary: While training with All Might, it wasn’t uncommon for Izuku to be so exhausted at the end of the day that he unwittingly fell asleep without regard for where he was. It consequently became part of All Might’s routine to help his young protégé home. During that time, Izuku may have let loose more than one sleepy confession towards his mentor.  Yes, it is as adorable as it sounds. Its tagged with “self indulgent Dad Might fluff” which is both accurate and appreciated. In other words: Superb you funky little writer!

Simple Gifts by QuizzicalCrow Rating: G    Category: Gen   ~6,700 words Summary: One year ago, Izuku received the greatest gift he could ever imagine. Now he’s determined to return the favor for the one responsible for it all with a gift of his own.  First off, I love the idea of Izuku and Toshi quietly celebrating the anniversary of passing on OfA from All Might to Izuku. Even just taking the day to hang out with each other. It’s a really precious idea. But there’s not just fluff! Izuku finds himself in a fight, again. (cool villain quirk, too!) I love all of the small details that are in this fic (and in Crow’s other works, too!) anyway its exciting AND very heartwarming, so go read it!!!

Affectionate by Sevi007 (tumblr: @sevi007 ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~2,600 words Summary: Toshinori starts to show affection very easily around his students. The  reactions he gets for that are not quite the ones he had anticipated - well, not all of them, at least.  Toshi is LOVED, APPRECIATED, and 1A feels like HOME. how many times can i say “cute” and “heartwarming” on this post?? bc these are some amazing writers, whom I adore, and their writing makes my heart WARM. AND. FUZZY. i mean, even just the first few paragraphs of this one just, really sets the scene of what i like to believe the 1A dorm is (on a good day, lol). its a really nice read, so go treat yo’ self by reading it.

paint me in trust by dinomight Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~6,400 words Summary: The first mark Izuku gets is a slight brush of green across his temple. It’s the soft touch of a mother holding her son for the first time. Inko has one to match, the same shade of green staining the tips of her fingers. Hers is more noticeable; Izuku’s tends to blend into his hairline. He loves it anyways. He has to. It’s the only soulmate mark he has. (Or: how Izuku goes from just green to a rainbow, UA-style.)  Ok, so this fic sort of plays off the idea of soulmates, and does not fit in with soulmates in the usual form of the trope. First off its completely platonic. Its categorized as Gen and sticks to that. Also it doesn’t seem to be as obligatory and permanent as you would think it would be. It seems to be more of the universe telling you who has the possibility of being important in your life. I really really loved this, it was so adorable and gives you that sweet, sweet Izuku angst, before healing your heart with the power of friendship and found family!!!

The Die Has Been Cast by ChiwiTheKiwi (tumblr: @chiwithekiwi​ ) Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~5,400 words Summary: “There’s something about that kid you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?”When no answer meets him, Shouta tries again.“You know something about Midoriya’s quirk that you haven’t shared with me. Is that right?”(Or: A canon "What If" surrounding the latest manga events and focusing on Aizawa finally making a connection.) First off, this fic has spoilers for the manga, so dont read unless you’re past chp212! I loooooooove OfA reveal fics, especially when it’s Aizawa that finds out. He deserves to know!!! its kind of important!!!! This fic chooses a great moment to work off of, and does a great job with Aizawa’s character. I really enjoyed it and couldn’t keep myself from going back and reading it just now LOL

These last two are actually two-shots, but it makes it an even 10! also Izuku and dadmight, so we can continue the theme here...

Some Unspoken Thing by LittleKy Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~7,900 words (2chps) Green, Toshinori has always thought, is the color of life anew.(Or: It's time for Yagi Toshinori to finally accept that he has a son, now, in all but blood. It's time for Midoriya Hisashi to accept that as well.) YES ALL MIGHT! ADMIT THAT IZUKU IS YOUR SON! great portrayal of the characters and really hits the nail on the head for DadMight. and Izuku in this story is just the smallest green floof that you wish to give a hug. NEVER MIND ALL MIGHT, YOU TOOK TOO LONG SO IZUKU IS MY SON NOW AND IM NOT GIVING HIM BACK ( no but seriously i want to hug this fic its so cute TTuTT )

LAST BUT NOT LEAST! I See You by BirdAntlers (tumblr: @aarymk )

Rating: G   Category: Gen   ~15,400 words (2chps) Midoriya Izuku is a quirkless child, blind from birth. Yagi Toshinori is the most powerful man in the world, loved by millions. They could not be more different, and yet their loneliness is the same.   (From a pair of AU posts on Tumblr that got way out of hand; I wanted to put it here because it turned into more of a fic than a "what-if." Basically a vessel for me to vomit as much Dadmight as I can.) Hey, you! Yeah! You! Do you want to cry? Do you want to start sobbing in a public space?? Do you just want to be destroyed with words and be left there kneeling at the feet of a writer who has torn out your heart and stomped on it before they gently wipe the tears from your face? Yeah?? y oU Wan NA D IE??? READ THIS AND GET REKT.  you’ll thank me later

(under the cut is just me rambling, i kept all the important stuff up here, ur welcome)

Now that the actual recs are over I can rant here- look i really tried to slim my recs down, but i have almost 300 bnha fics bookmarked,some of them are “to read” or theyre in progress, etc but i managed to get this list sorta slimmed down? a little?(to only 58!!!) but as i was gathering this post together it felt like i dont have very many Dadmight recs on that list??? but i havent rechecked all the other fics i was just going through the oneshots. i... kinda read a lot more fics with AIzawa in it instead. it be that way. DadMight content is SO GOOD. but my fav is aizawa im sorryyyyy anyway i have another SEVENteeN oneshots to put in rec posts and that does NOT include the mulitchapter and friikin series and stuff... and like i said this is aaaaaaallllllllllllllll BnHA. batfam fic posts will come after, and then star wars, and then maybe star trek? we’ll see. i have a very specific taste in ST fics and that is Tarsus IV whump. which. i have not read in a while. when they say “that trope came from ST” for sooooooo many tropes, you WISH other fandoms had tarsus as a trope, holy crap it is TOP TIER angst fodder. if you love to write/read whump, angst, and h/c i would HIGHLY recommend that you take a bit of time and explore the content and stories there. heck maybe i will make a ficrec post for just tarsus angst. ok.

my INTENTION is to edit these posts later with little links to the other fic rec lists so that itll be easier to find. but., its me, so itll either happen in painful detail or not at all

asdjkdgh its 2:30am and i need to sleep and not be rambling incoherently again I WILL SAVE THIS AS A DRAFT. 

[veilchenjaeger]

Finished the main SVSSS plot! Final rambling (extremely spoiler-y) verdict under the cut.

I like it! The plot isn’t as complex as MDZS, but Moxiang Tongxiu writes extremely diverse characters and gives even those who have close to no screentime a strong personality, which is a quality I appreciate a lot in a writer. The translation is better than the MDZS one, which I cannot make myself read because I cringe at every third sentence. Moxiang Tongxiu’s style does take some getting used to - she skims a lot of parts that imo really shouldn’t be skimmed, I generally dislike switching POVs in the middle of a scene, and it would benefit a lot from being more detailed; it really seems half-hearted at times while hitting you in the face with extremely thought-through prose two paragraphs later - but I did get used to it, and the wittiness of her writing really makes up for a lot of flaws. To think that I missed half the wordplay and references bc I don’t know Chinese!

This extends to the overall concept; the deconstructing nature of this plot is way more obvious to me personally than it is in MDZS, because I know the basic premise of the genre she’s deconstructing (mocking), and damn, online culture really is the same everywhere in the world. The first chapters made me howl with laughter just because I feel like I have both met Shen Yuan and ranted endlessly about exactly the same things he gets mad about. The whole System thing is fucking brilliant and so incredibly funny, and I love how she just rolls with this detail until the very end, even in the most emotionally devastating scenes.

Also, plot-wise, it’s both very unpredictable and makes absolute sense. I love how Shen Qingqiu gets tossed into this with an omniscient perspective and gradually loses control and towards the end has no idea what’s going on anymore, because it makes the reader experience the same thing. The whole novel starts out as predominantly humorous (because Shen Qingqiu doesn’t really take anything but his own survival seriously) and keeps that wit, but I got more and more invested in this setting and the characters the further it progressed (because Shen Qingqiu also did and stopped seeing them as fictional), and that’s very well done. The emotional weight resting on the interpersonal relationships and the characters’ backstories instead of defeating the villain makes the plot really strong, to the point where the final climax is only vaguely related to the “villain”.

In the same vein - I love, love, love how Moxiang Tongxiu does villains. How none of them are black or white. I knew that from MDZS, but she really does the same thing here, in this shorter, way more lighthearted novel. The Scum Villain Shen Jiu is sympathetic in the end, though never excused. Tianlang-jun is weird as hell and even at his most villainy moments oddly fun, and his relationship to Zhuzhi Lang makes them both very sympathetic. (Love the weird snake man, btw.) Again, they all have a backstory that makes their actions and personalities make sense, which is what you need to do to create a good villain, and again, it’s circumstances that drove most of them to do what they do.

And boi, Luo Binghe. Uh, I love him. I didn’t expect to be this intrigued by his character, but I am. He verges on obsessive, he’s jealous and mean, he has the potential (evidently, because he was written that way originally) to be an absolute scumbag of a hypermasculine asshole. At times, although I knew he’s the love interest and they’d end up together, I was 100% with Shen Qingqiu in not trusting a word Luo Binghe said. Is Shen Qingqiu a bit oblivious? Yeah. But he really isn’t when it comes to judging Luo Binghe’s character once he understands that Luo Binghe’s in love with him. Luo Binghe is intransparent as hell, and because he does act rashly and is violent and does treat some people like shit and is manipulative to the abyss and back, it’s until the very end not inconceivable that he’d betray everyone and become the villain. This is really well done. I doubted Luo Binghe and his intentions so much throughout this book, so I really cannot blame Shen Qingqiu for doing the same.

At the same time, despite the inevitable dubcon kisses (sigh...) and Luo Binghe’s possessiveness, Moxiang Tongxiu managed to always bring Bingqiu back from the verge of just being creepy. That is not a given for BL at all, especially not for something that is initially a teacher/student scenario, so I appreciate it a lot. This is not a soft, sweet love story. It’s dysfunctional, it’s painful, and it’s treated that way with what I believe is full intentionality. Having Shen Qingqiu reference Stockholm syndrome plots - the power this has. The “Hey, this is verging on something that is really fucked up”, without painting it in a prettier light than it is. Besides the dubcon kisses (again, sigh, Great Mistress Moxiang Tongxiu, tweaking two lines to make those less painful to read would help a lot), what is ugly is ugly.

I was shook by the sex scene at the climax (pun intended, though there’s a distinct and plot-relevant lack of climax). Shook. I’ve read (parts of; forgive me, the translation) the slightly odd Wangxian sex scenes, and was fully prepared to sit through an actual dubcon scene with full “It becomes pleasurable halfway through!!!” blahblah, which is my least favourite BL trope for obvious reasons, but that. Didn’t happen. At all. Instead, while it’s stomach-churning, it’s supposed to be. This is an ugly scene. It’s bloody and it just hurts, without an ounce of pleasure. Neither of them has fun. They don’t continue after Luo Binghe regains full consciousness, though hey, that would have been uncomfortable to read, but tropey enough to be graciously ignored. Luo Binghe is appalled by what he did while controlled by Xin Mo, although Shen Qingqiu consented (and was in his right mind and fully able to, other than Luo Binghe). They have a terrible time, it’s a traumatising experience for both of them, and they comfort each other to deal with that. (It’ll take them some time to come back from that, won’t it. Poor things.) That’s... really good, actually, especially in a genre where “Dubcon but it’s not actually!!! uwu!!!” scenes run rampant.

It also gives a lot of depth to Luo Binghe’s whole mess of an obsession with Shen Qingqiu - you could write a whole meta about that. (People probably have.) He’s on the verge of being creepy and uncomfortable throughout the whole novel, and it freaks Shen Qingqiu out several times, and yet! It never fully crosses the line. Again, Moxiang Tongxiu knows how to write morally grey characters, and knows how to write morally grey characters who are also protagonists. Luo Binghe’s final Xin Mo-induced breakdown and confession of his terrifying fear of abandonment give context to all of his messy actions, his ill-fated and inept attempts to win his Shizun back. Luo Binghe fucks up massively, he’s very mentally ill, he has no idea how to express affection gently and just trust the other to listen and accept him, and Shen Qingqiu eventually understands this aspect of him (that he is neither black nor white) and goes, “Hey, that’s okay, we can solve that together. I’m not afraid of you.” Their relationship has a ton of aspects, many of them dysfunctional, but it expertly avoids becoming the abusive dynamic it could have drifted into. I get why one might be uncomfortable with this dynamic, but I love these “despite it all” things that could be horrible but aren’t, and boi, is it satisfying to watch them tentatively take the first steps towards solving their issues together. (Protagonist satisfaction points: High.)

Enough on Bingqiu. (Which I think should be called Qinghe for the laughs and the solely romanised confusion.) Complaints:

I would have liked to see more of characters that were built up but rarely used (Sha Hualing, Liu Mingyan, Qin Wanyue, Mobei-jun - though I heard I’ll see more of Mobei-jun in the extras [eyes emoji]), especially the female characters, since I liked all of them a LOT and part of the objective was to make them grow out of their Brainless Love Interest roles. Moxiang Tongxiu’s skill at creating characters absolutely does extend to her female characters; I just wish she’d use them more. (You deconstruct genres for a living, woman, and you’re good at it! Deconstruct the BL genre some more and give us some female main characters!) But alas, at least almost all of them survived this time. Hooray!

There’s the expected casual misogyny and homophobia from Shen Qingqiu’s POV, which I think Moxiang Tongxiu would benefit from tuning down a little if she isn’t interested in actually writing an internal coming out plot. It’s not OOC, but with Shen Qingqiu especially, she had the opportunity to make him discover his sexuality in modern terms and undo his stigma, or otherwise just... not make him homophobic. This is a flaw a lot of BL suffers from - internalised homophobia that is never fully resolved, just made seemingly obsolete bc the protagonist is dating a man now - and that would be extremely easy to avoid. I’d honestly rather read about an open-minded protagonist who discovers his own sexuality than have homophobia be a factor at all. I appreciate how gay Shen Qingqiu is tho; he deserves to live that. He’s around so many men he finds pretty.

Also, like, Shen Qingqiu is oddly okay with losing his entire modern life, but hey, maybe actually dying puts things in perspective. Love that he died several times and can thus give Wei Wuxian a run for his burnt paper money.

That’s it for complaints for now; one more thing: I really, really hadn’t expected Shen Jiu’s backstory and it kicked me so hard, especially because it didn’t make him less despicable. (Moxiang Tongxiu is so GOOD at that! She did the same thing with Jin Guangyao and Xue Yang! Though I like Shen Jiu significantly less; he did do that to Ning Yingying.) I also wasn’t ready for the dreamscape as a concept. Attacking the things in your dream means attacking your own mind? You have to free your mind instead? It’s really fucking hard to get out of those thoughts? You control your dreamscape just like it controls you? Dreamscape self-harm is a thing? Fucking HELL. That took me out and gave me chills. Trauma is a central theme here, and it’s well done.

Finally: Shen Qingqiu. I love him. I love how genre-savvy he is, how done with this shit he is, and how he seemingly has only his personal goals in mind at first, but has this unconditionally compassionate side that I think makes him fascinating. Shen Qingqiu can empathise with everyone and everything, even though he probably doesn’t know that about himself, and in the end, that’s his biggest strength.

All in all, this was an experience, I’m looking forward to the extras, and I ADORE the Bingqiu dynamic. Might watch the donghua; it looks good and I want to see more of my boy Shen Qingqiu screaming at Windows XP error boxes.