#bc truly that was peak humor; to me at least

[rubysparx]

When will spittake return from the war

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SAEjwwo9S1g

So I know everyone knows this interview off by heart and it’s been spoken about A MILLION TIMES but I would just love love to hear you ramble about from 10:20 onwards bc omg it’s just so sweet and your thoughts on things are always perfection :’) like Miles seems like he’s keeping an eye on Alex for the whole interview and playing off his humour but the fond/amused/exasperated ‘please do’ that he says when Alex goes ‘just to add to that’, and how he sort of glances at Martin in an ‘ah where is this going’ sort of way is just gorgeous xD and the way he squeezes his eyes shut, just waiting to feed off whatever Alex says but wondering what on earth is about to come out of his mouth is just so tender and pure 😭😂 like miles you sweetheart xD

omg i will take ANY opportunity to ramble about this absolute gem of an interview (and about them generally, as we know lol)

anyway yeah, this whole interview truly is peak milex derangement - and this little section in particular??? ughhh it just feels like such an intimate insight into their humour and the way they mess around together. like you can tell they're a bit bored with the interview, and it makes me wonder if this is what they get like when they're bored and restless on bus journeys, waiting for soundcheck etc - if they descend into the same affectionate, humorous madness that no one else quite knows how to deal with. it feels like such a window into their everyday lives and way of interacting, and ugh i just love it, how easy it is to imagine them talking in silly voices and being totally wrapped up in each other in all these other scenarios 🥺

one of absolute my favourite things about this clip is how you can just tell how UTTERLY in tune they are with each other - even when they're not really that engaged with the situation they're in. the way they know each other's subtlest inflections of expression and twist of phrase without even thinking about it. it's all so totally instinctive, and i actually think their interchanges like these, when we get a glimpse into their unique alex-and-miles humour, are at least as intimate as a lot of their more *ahem* explicitly intimate moments onstage. because they just show the way they completely and utterly get each other, how they've built up this whole way of interacting that's just them. miles and alex and no one else.

and you're totally right, you can FEEL the fond exasperation radiating from miles, and also like - idk, just this quiet delight he's clearly taking in alex's presence? it's something you see with both of them a LOT, this sense that they just love being around each other and (even in situations like this where they’re not really into what’s happening around them) there’s nowhere else they really want to be. idk how to explain it, it just feels like there’s just this underlying sense of completion and contentedness when they’re with each other - probably because they’re able to truly be their whole selves when they’re together 🥺

UGHHHHH they make me so emotional 😩

also all the suggestiveness of the “little finger” bits and the way you can SEE miles trying not to get the giggles??? absolute gold 😭

oh dear, i fear this has been ended up being a much longer ramble than i intended, i hope at least some of it made sense 😅 thank you so much for your lovely words and for giving me the opportunity to flail about our two favourite smitten idiots, i love asks like these 🥰🥰

PS i’m so sorry it took me so ridiculously long to answer this - i actually thought i’d posted it weeks ago, but just came across it when i was sorting through my drafts this afternoon 🤦🏻‍♀️

[jennilah]

What's your favourite saw movie? And how would you rank all of the saw movies?

I love saw 4 [I know alot of people hate it, but I adore Daniel rigg, therefore it's my comfort movie]

omg what a difficult question LOL but i have attempted to rank them for myself before..

funny, my ranking now is completely different from my first impressions

anyway get ready for another signature long, way overthought answer filled w series spoilers

disclaimer, being low on the list here doesn't mean i dislike the film, actually. there are none I truly dislike, its just I love the top ones so much that it simply pushes every other down

i was just gonna describe my top 3 and then vaguely rank the rest but i think ill describe all of them. so, in LOOSE order of fave to least fave (def not set in stone)

Saw VI: has my favorite scenes with my favorite character, the FBI plot is thrilling, William Easton's game is one of the best, every trap is memorable to iconic, technical things like the cinematography and lighting and set design is mwah chefs kiss. And, its one of the most satisfying films in terms of finally getting answers to mysteries that have been teased for 3 movies straight, and finally seeing Hoffman get his comeuppance. The last moments of that film are some of the hypest shit. I put this one on when I need to see my man and im craving peak soap opera vibes but in all the best ways

Saw X: As much as I love the investigation plotline, I love how this one takes a step back and you truly get to be with John and Amanda all movie, they got to really spend time on the emotion and heart of the film, and again, it has some of the most memorable and exciting sets and traps, as well as some of my favorite player characters. Cecelia, my queen. it also has i think one of my favorite finale scenes of all of them, where we get to see John in a trap himself!!! and the hello Zepp moment being just. perfection. 👌 I put this one on when I want my Saw-watching experience to feel like a sporting event from thrill and great subtle humor, but i also need to be in the mood for the emotional beats bc they hit pretty hard

Saw II: I will sing this film's praises whenever I can. Its a fantastic sequel and I will tell u why. Aside from Saw X this is practically the one other film where John actually gets a spotlight and he eats up every scene. This fuckin guy. One of the funniest films to rewatch after knowing the signature Saw twists- this dude drops so many foreshadowing comments its honestly impressive and comedic. The nerve gas house is also one of my favorite games, and I love seeing Amanda get a spotlight too. You also get a taste for what the franchise has in store when it comes to the camp and soap opera plotline, so as long as you're into that, its one of the most fun Saw films. I watch this one when I want a more lighthearted Saw experience where it really feels like John and Amanda are up to mischief

Saw V: A little on the slower side, I actually appreciate that this one is mostly about providing much-needed answers and backstory. If you hate Hoffman, I get why this one could be a slog, but I adore him so I'm fine. As for Strahm, this one really shocked me. I thought he was gonna be a one-movie type deal just be killed off at the very start, but he SHOCKED me. U get to watch someone survive a trap, a RIGGED one no less, and go from kind of a cocky asshole to the baddest bitch on the scene. He singlehandedly figured out Hoffman's deal and took it upon himself to stop him, procedure be damned. I was rooting for him so hard, man. I also really like the Fatal Five. And the Glass Coffin. Listen, it's pretty obvious why I'll put this one on.

Saw: The OG. What more is there to say. It's original, it's exciting, it redefined a genre whether you wish it did or not, it's got the craziest early 2000's flare, it's got mystery, it's got drama, it's got it all. I put this one on when I want to go back to our ✨roots✨

Saw IV: Initially this was probably my least favorite but now that I can tell Hoffman and Strahm apart, now that I adore both of those characters, now that I know the plot like the back of my hand so I'm not confused by the copious flashbacks and general lack of answers given and new questions asked, I love it just like the others. Rigg is also one of my favorite game-players, he's just so good and wants to save his friends, watching him mentally toil over everything is really exciting. The traps are also fun. And every Strahm scene. (also this movie is filled with really hot men and lots of fanservice for Jennas like me to enjoy, and enjoy even more with shipping goggles on)

Saw III: This one I love for the progression of Amanda and John's complicated dynamic and lore but I also can't rewatch it often because it's so damn sad, and gross. This one is probably the grossest one between the multiple vomit moments and pig vat. Ugh. But, every Amanda scene, my god. My precious girl. I want to scoop her into my arms. I love her so much. This one I've only watched twice, Im due for another stoned midnight rewatch soon.

Saw 3D: They can't make me hate you. I haven't rewatched this one yet, but I'll rewatch moments for a laugh. I like the potential- all the ideas they had, like the original film callbacks and bringing back Lawrence as an apprentice and finally showing someone dying in the damn RBT, and even the furthering of Hoffman's mental downfall which I'd argue started in 5, were intriguing on paper, but the execution was a bit awkward. I like Hoffman's rampage though. Hoffmanator, my problematic fave, really playing into my love for slashers there

Spiral: this was a Scream movie. but, I like Scream. ill rewatch it one day when im in a specific mood i think. maybe

Jigsaw: meh. dont hate it but i have no desire to rewatch. i do think Logan coming back would be the funniest shit ever

[redskull-fanatic]

Random collection of my headcanons bc I can’t have a cohesive thought and idk what to expand upon

Skull has a very complicated and confusing intimate history. At least.. Nowadays! He woke up from being an ice pop and suddenly all these new villains think he’s the hottest shit they’ve ever seen! He isn’t.. used to it, nor does he have any idea where it comes from. Some, he humors. Others, he ignores. Maybe it is to protect his empire.. Perhaps, it is to protect himself.. Like it or not, various villains chase his tail. He tolerates it. For now.

cOUGH COUGH HACK HACK— Okay so Imma rip off the bandage immediately.. Hawkeye and Red Skull would be very cute. hEAR ME OUT,, Just,, Snarky, Smartass Avengers Assemble Hawkeye getting wrapped up in Calculating, Cunning Skull’s plans? PEAK IDEA!! JUST P E A K!! I’m not one for Skull to venture far from Steve, however their history is.. complicated. Hawkeye.. He’s not Captain America, sure. He’s not the pinnacle of health (being deaf). He’s just a guy with arrows.. But.. that’s intriguing. Hawkeye is just a man with arrows, yet he’s an Avenger? Iron Man is a guy in a tin can, but he at least has money! Hawkeye.. is broke.. He’s snarky, he sasses Skull during most missions. He creates a back and forth with Johann only Steve really tries.. The other heroes? They don’t take things.. personally. Hawkeye does. Besides, he’s a blonde.. Skull is soft for blondes..

Red Skull and Captain America are each other’s comfort zones. They both woke in a changed world, one that shifts constantly. Sure, Skull is better at adapting than Steve. It’s his strong suit.. But, the world is still alien to him.. Steve feels this comfort more than Skull. The world changed, the one he knew is gone. His old friends? They all died.. The tech changed, the war is over, it’s all.. different. However, one thing remains the same. Red Skull. He’s the same Skull Cap remembers from the glory days. The accent remains, those piercing yellow eyes still glow, and his laugh is as evil as ever. Sure, Skull’s got a few new scars, but he’s still Cap’s same Skull. Steve is thankful for it.

Skull has various plots, sort of a plot A and plot B. Everyone sees plot A, rule the world, destroy the avengers, yadda yadda.. However, plot B is more.. selfish desires. Personal plans to satisfy a sense of.. longing in Skull. They’re more.. in tune with his heart, and he refuses to share them with most. Zola, Viper, and Night see the most of it. They’re his core support.. They’re granted access.. His B plans of course include his mother. He longs to bring her back, to at least meet her once.. Curiosity will always drive Johann and he longs to truly know.. Who she was. Does she like tea? Is her favorite color yellow? Can she sing? How will she feel about Hydra? So many questions he longs to answer.. Yet, his mother isn’t the only plan. He wants to create a daughter, one of science. He’d rather choke on his own blood then pursue a woman (as a gay man), so science will have to do. Though, he isn’t sure which candidate to use.. Him, definitely. Though, what other man is worthy to help create the new heir of Hydra?..

Skull gets bitches, okay. He’s got so many bitches trying to hit him up, it’s ridiculous. His army has grown beyond mere foot soldiers for this very reason. He has mechanical aid, thanks to his loyal lapdog Justin Hammer. He has technical aid, due to M.O.D.O.K’s.. strange devotion.. Vampires swarm Johann, thanks to the fact the Vampire King has set his eyes upon the Hydra leader.. At this point, Skull wouldn’t bat an eye if aliens become at his beck and call. Suppose he’s just that attractive..

Everyone agrees Skull is a fine piece of ass. Captain America will admit it, Hawkeye keeps pestering everyone about it, of course all of Hydra thinks so— Even Tony has to agree just so people stop bringing it up. The only one who’s too stubborn to address it is Widow, for she’s an aro/ace!!

Black Widow ACTUALLY has a Russian accent bc I’m upset they never give her one!! I also like the idea of her having spider features, bc she’s a BLACK WIDOW.. she’s also Hawkeye’s best friend bc I’d rather die than have another classic boy x girl love story.. cHRIST WOMEN AND MEN CAN JUST BE FRIENDS!!

Hawkeye is iconic, enough said. He is bisexual (male leaning), and is sort of a flirt. He flirts to take villains off guard, but if anyone offers to hit him up he wouldn’t object.. Also he’s deaf bc they need to stop taking away disabled representation!! He was practically raised in the circus of crime and has a big love for dance!! He’s better comic relief than Tony any day, and he’s super underrated. We stan AA Hawkeye!!

Mother Night and Viper are pillars of the Hydra empire and are very important in Skull’s life. Not only are they heads of his army, but they’re the female support he needs. Red Skull needs friends, he could truly thrive with a support system. He needs Viper’s level-headedness to keep him on the ground. While, Mother Night’s concern and affection for him allow Skull to know when he’s safe. We need more females within the Hydra army, and more women in general. Besides, they’re super cool and have awesome capes!!

Skull has complex feelings when it comes to parental.. things. He recalls his own father, and is envious of anyone who’s been graced with a mother. This all hits him when he decides to create an heir for Hydra.. Seeing baby Sin.. He’s conflicted, almost scared but won’t admit it. He doesn’t want to be like his father. He doesn’t want to live up to that.. However, he isn’t too sure how to properly parent either. At first, he is convinced he doesn’t want to raise a child. He’d rather have Zola age the baby up immediately, but.. Once he sees his little girl, he wants to hold her.. Carry her around and show her all of Hydra.. He’s lost in his head, and doesn’t know what to do.

Skull will always fixate on Captain America, that’s never going away! Though, his eyes have started to wander.. What if there truly is no hope for the Captain? He will never succumb to Johann’s wishes.. Perhaps, modern men aren’t so bad? Mr. Hammer practically begs Skull for the time of day.. He already has a loyal blonde at his feet. Besides, Hawkeye is a more.. receptive hero.. Sometimes, Skull believes it’s time to broaden his horizons. Let go of the past, only then can you prosper fully..

Red Skull is extremely starved and he doesn’t know it at all. He’s pent up, and the fucking idiot has no idea. He doesn’t know how much he longs for romantic and sexual attention. No fucking clue that he often day dreams about a proper Hydra wedding.. Does he stare at the male heroes? He can’t tell.. He doesn’t get lost in eyes, nor get flushed within certain arms. His heart refuses to flutter at many voices.. Skull doesn’t.. desire to dance with someone.. after a delightful dinner.. under the moon.. He doesn’t realize how lonely he truly is.

Skull did indeed freeze in the ice with Steve. Both crashed during that flight, and both were frozen staring at each other for years.. According to Steve, it was a very intimate encounter..

I really like Johann with the Tesseract, soooo I’m keeping it! It acts sort of like Jarvis, but it doesn’t speak. All it does it glow and display images for Skull. The Tesseract can hint at the future and give Skull advice. It’s a very friendly artifact! Though, has a bias towards Johann due to the very kind treatment Skull gives it!

There you go, enjoy my brain vomit—

[sugar-petals]

Ooooh, now I’m curious and need to ask you to elaborate on your top ten himbo players, that you actually like, but also your top ten for players that are boyfriend material, cause I find your choices really interesting and actually different from what I was expecting! 💗 (i really hope I’m not bothering you by sending these asks 🥺����)

i like writing about it at length don’t worry 👀⚽️ here it goes. 

caro’s top 10 footie giants

(note: includes veteran nominations for long-term service)

1) robert lewandowski — who is it!!!!

if lewy doesn’t win this it’s heresy, the man has it all: he’s ripped, he’s cutesy, statuesque, silly, sexy, divine, hilarious, confused, polite, unique, unsurpassed, i can go on, enjoy this handy illustration as proof:

he is the moment, he’s the protagonist, the founding father of all himbos worldwide 👴🏻✨he just has to look at you clueless once and you know he got what it takes!

in summary: 

2) fernando torres — nobody expects the spanish ab definition! ah... the good ole days, i miss fernando. el niño became extremely buff with time and remains as kind and shy as ever so the spot is even more deserved 🇪🇸

3) manuel neuer — not in 1st place bc he's too unhinged, other than that ofc he has to be way up high on the list for being the nation’s big booty stripper providing us with endless content, give his arms a custom insurance ffs

4) leon goretzka — here goes the twink magnet, the whole fandom will send me assassins if leon's not included in the top 5 so ‘ere ya go

5) frenkie de jong — himbo in the making, BDE body, puppy personality, he’s just very huggable, what more can i say, he really walks around like this

6) julian brandt — soft snuggly himbo bee, a lil slutty too 👌 lately his hair is so dang long i love it, smh i envy kai for being engaged to this man

7) mats hummels — also included to appease the masses, at least i don’t think his green plaid coat was that bad, his facial bones & hair are great i guess

8) ter stegen — not 100% a himbo since his brain isn't entirely vacant (more of a gentlemanly type) but but he is kind tall chiseled and a tank, i would pick him to save us in a zombie apocalypse

9) lukas podolski (ft. bastian schweinsteiger) — and now the ultimate grandfather besties of himboism, you can’t possibly separate them, poldi invented being stupid and sexy, basti invented being stupid and built, together they are the ideal himbo fusion, everyone deserves having a friendship like this

gotta love them munching crisps on tv 😂

OUT OF A GIANT CAULDRON HHH

10) romelu lukaku — to wrap it up i confess my love for the belgian team, they’re incredible & romelu is peak coolness (last on the list bc he’s actually smart, but his tiddies are enormous so ofc that has to be honored)

and for the sake of completion, an abbreviated top 10:

top 5 bf material players

1) raheem sterling — we talked about tall guys but here the short king hour strikes! so goodlooking and smiley ⭐️ he’s perfection. i have zero business with his club or the english nt and yet? he made it here. says a lot. raheem sterling. thank you for existing. terrific player.

2) mario götze — hehe... i know very well you didn’t expect him either but here goes it’s me mario, certified cutest ever, so sparkly as well, baby baby bumblebee, oh the nostalgia i know

3) kai havertz — soft lizard bf w/ terrible humor, i stan, can’t divorce him from julian so it’s gonna be a polyamorous relationship, but anyway i adore my suffering victorian heir to bits

4) leroy sané — prettiest, most elegant, most attractive, most stylish, the ideal man exists, love his voice & little habits, never seen a guy as ethereal and handsome, leroy is so boyfriend it hurts, my heart skips a beat for this gaze

5) kepa arrizabalaga — as the outrageous cherry on top: another goalkeeper lunatic and to amp up the hot spanish quota even more; kepa truly is a phenomenon, i don’t know how he does it but i enjoy it

thank you for bearing with this whole friggin ranking, have a nice day 🐯 (now i’ll hide and wait until the rest of the footie fandom finds this post)

[mego42]

a birthday rec post!

for @foxmagpie​’s birthday i’m celebrating her beautiful brain with five of my fav of her fics. If you haven’t checked them out i highkey recommend you fix your lives post-haste bc like my taste in people, my taste in fic is impeccable (though i am open to counterarguments if you guys have others you want to add on).

Snapshots: Photobooth

gOD this fic is so cUTE

i say fic but it’s tech an anthology of delinquents future snippets and this is just one chapter and while i’m here i heartily rec all of it

truly a galaxy brain concept on megan’s part, she’s tormenting us with a(n exquisite) slow burn in delinquents but also giving us the goods so we know what to look forward to

i love having my cake and eating it too, is what i’m saying

especially when the cake is as sweet and delightful as this one

look it’s a really neat trick to be able to write rio as a giddy sap of a teenage!! person and still have it feel totally in line with his adult canon self somehow idk how she does it but i’m so glad she does

Subjunctive

i’m gonna start us off by promising you guys i think about this fic an extremely normal amount

i also want to disclaim that i know beth gaming a douchebag named parker in a bar isn’t an homage to buffy bc megan’s refusal to watch is a source of endless torment BUT no one can stop me from taking it as one

anyway

i think one of the things that gets me with this fic is how neatly and efficiently it weaves in beth and rio’s (brief) history with the exact right amount of pining that i’m fully on board and rooting for them to get together not just hook up but it doesn’t take away from the bouncy, light, fun feel of the fic

plus oh my goD is it sexy

now elizabeth

who gave you the right????????????

Missed Call

the way this fic stresses me out

weird opening to a rec, i know but hear me out: the mounting tension is a perfectly paced build that sets up the culmination to hit like a hammer

it’s also a really excellent study in how isolating fear and stress can be and how even the most well-intentioned comfort can be the least comforting thing in the world and idk maybe that’s a weird thing to rec about it too but i think that’s so real and messy and i love how the discordant note of it plays into the tension

i know it’s not meant to be but it plays as an excellent counterpart to back to our cocoon which is only not on this list bc i made the stupid ass decision to stick to five but you should def consider that recced as well

I Will Collect and Capture You

look if you haven’t read this fic yet idk what to tell you

i really wanted to stick with stuff i hadn’t recced a bunch before but i love this one too much to leave it off but since i’ve yelled about it a bunch already i’ll be brief

while it is technically a wip, each chapter feels like a complete standalone arc so if you’ve been sitting on this one, stop making bad choices

features peak brio mess and jealousy and a metric fuckton of angst, but also weaves in some tenderness and humor and a hefty amount of god tier smut

truly this fic has it all

Crush

THE WAY I LOVE THIS FIC

look, i am not usually an OC person when it comes to fic, i’m here for what i’m here for, you know? but mar and elena are apparently the exception to that rule

it’s also a testament to how rich and in-depth the delinquents verse is that it can support such a built out, fully realized side-quest style fic for two characters who, while fairly close to the central plot, aren’t remotely the focus of it

also i know this fic is all about mar and elena getting together and do not get me wrong, they are the absolute cutest and everything about their story makes me scream, the part of this fic that really makes my heart go haywire is the mar and rio of it all

idk precisely why but i am ridiculously invested in rio having bffs on ruby and annie’s level and gOD does the relationship with mar megan’s crafted deliver on that like whoa

everything about their relationship from the literal reality of it to the way that rio’s an indelible part of mar’s mental landscape is pitch perfect and so, so precious to me

(and LOOK i KNOW that is not LITERALLY THE YEARBOOK DRAWING i am AWARE it should be a DUGOUT i TRIED MY BEST)

ily babe, i hope you have an amazing day 💖

[kaeyazuha]

With all the albedo dentist prompts, I thought I’d write a fanfic for you!

Albedo worked relentlessly, his hand darting against the frail paper with a quill, whilst the other hand remained propped below the lower half quadrant of his jaw.

It would be an understatement to say that he was experiencing dental pain. One of his molars throbbed and ached with a lingering sensation of a stabbing pain. For someone with quite a high threshold for pain, his tooth aching was surely affecting him.

Albedo was certainly meticulous about his dental hygiene. He despised feeling dirtied, especially his teeth. But for some unknown reason, he occasionally experienced severe toothaches.

“Mr. Albedo.. Are you alright..? It’s quite late, you should really obtain at least a bit of rest..”

Sucrose meekly peaked her head throat the exposed crack in the doorframe. Albedo, given the fact that he was in indescribable dental pain, shot her a cold glare that nearly melted her in a matter of seconds.

“I am fine. Please allow me to tend to my own matters.”

He spoke harshly, shutting down her suggestion immediately. He wasn’t in the mood for her lecturing, though in reality, she was only worried for him and his well-being. In all honesty, she was cognizant of the reason Albedo was acting this way. The red tint slathered across his left cheek, and his hand beneath his jaw was a tell-tale sign that he had a toothache.

“Mr. Albedo.. Have you made an appointment..?”

She asked, obviously privy to the reason for his irritable behavior. The blonde sighed, nodding his head.

“I have a dental appointment in thirty minutes.”

He admitted. Sucrose nodded her head with the intent to show she understood before retracting her head. Albedo was not anticipating his appointment.

He needed to gather his things and begin driving, which he in fact did. He begrudgingly began to drive towards his destination, the dental clinic, without error. He was an excellent driver, after all.

Upon his arrival, he was immediately brought in to one of the exam rooms and instructed to take a seat on the dental chair. He complied, anxiously gripping the leather armrests of the chair as the dentist snapped a pit of medical gloves onto their hands.

“I heard that somebody has a toothache. Mind opening nice and wide for me?”

The dentist attempted to humor Albedo, but he was not having it in the least. He only cooperated, opening his mouth to a certain degree before his chair was angled back and the beam of light was fixed to direct towards his mouth.

Once the dentist began to scrape around a bit at his teeth with a metal probe and a dental mirror, he couldn’t help but squirm at the odd feeling of having your teeth prodded at. He was fine.. Until that one particular molar was tapped at with a gentle force. He immediately winced, letting out a small groan in response.

“Ah- I see, your first molar. That’s a pretty severe cavity you’ve got there, I can tell that you will require a crown on that tooth.”

Albedo sighed, nodding in compliance. It was t long before a few x-rays were taken and the anesthesia and numbing was administered to him.

He couldn’t quite feel the drilling. All there was happened to be some pressure.

Once the procedure was over with, he felt at the newly repaired molar with his tongue. It felt.. Odd.

Once home, he was in a truly bitter mood, avoiding others to take the time for himself. Since the anesthesia had worn off, his tooth was a bit sore, but much better compared to earlier.

ANON???!! I LOVED THIS OMG ILY ILY THANK YOU FOR THIS i could picture albedo death glaring the dentist akjgsjhg

okay so i can't guarantee the tags will work because they hate me, but i'll try anyway bc people should see this <3

[moonmothmama]

ok. so. The Princess Bride. i read it yesterday.

and right up front, before even a review, i’m gonna go ahead and list everything objectionable in the book that i can recall. please don’t take the length of the bullet pointed items to follow as an indication that the book was wildly problematic and offended me at every turn; it wasn’t and it didn’t. but there were some things that made me go: 😑 or 😒, and here it all is, presented with context, before anything else, because to be honest, i didn’t expect any of it. the film is relatively spotless, which is pretty rare for that era, and if any of you are thinking of reading it, you could do with being more prepared for this than i was.

first off, racism. two passing remarks. one isn’t even in the story proper; it’s in the first whole long intro bit from the author/narrator. that takes some explanation, i suppose: like in the film, the story is presented as a book having been written by “S. Morganstern,” except instead of a grandfather reading to his sick grandson, the narrator is interjecting with notes on the original text that he has abridged. the beginning is a whole long shpiel that, in my opinion, could have been significantly pared down with absolutely zero loss to the story (which! hey! the film did perfectly! go figure!). anyway, the first racist remark is an absolutely tasteless line in which the narrator pisses and moans about his fat son, making a crack about “painting him yellow” and making him a sumo wrestler. y i k e. the other passing remark is from Miracle Max (really, truly, the film version of this scene is miles better than the book version, but contains an important plot detail, so you should prob still read it, but i’ll give you the lowdown if you wanna skip). he refers to Iñigo as a sp*ck (rather bafflingly, i might add, bc Iñigo is a Spanish man... from Spain... not a Hispanic or Latino man from Latin America. so. i mean i’m certainly not an expert on slurs but... i have never in my life heard that term in reference to a person from Spain, and am virtually certain it was invented to refer to ppl from the americas) and in the same breath uses an objectionable term for a Polish person. sooo... again: y i k e. what gets me is that... these could’ve just been edited out? why weren’t they? i mean i know why but

fat shaming! see above. though to be honest, any true negativity about fatness is restricted to the author/narrator’s interjections; there are a few minor fat characters in the story and those depictions, without being too long-winded or spoilery, didn’t offend me (fyi: i’m fat). if you want the details, please feel free to message me about it.

if we can go back to the whole long beginning shpiel from the author/narrator, it’s just... eh. he comes off as kind of a jackass, tbh. not even halfway through it i found myself more than a little impatient for the story to begin, and that could be at least partly because the film spoiled me with a lovely, not annoying, not problematic scene of Granddad Columbo reading to Baby Fred Savage where no one made any racist remarks or ragged on fat kids. the basic gist, if you want to skip it, is that the author, as a kid, had this book read to HIM by his father, who was a Florinese immigrant, and nearly illiterate in English, but still labored over reading the English translation to his American-born son, who adored the book and requested it read to him dozens and dozens of times over the years, refusing to read it himself (though he read plenty of other books). as an adult, he buys his son the book, and is crushed when the son doesn’t like it. he then reads it for the first time, and realizes his father skipped over huge, boring blocks of text. he read his son only The Good Parts. so he decides to edit that shit out himself and release the abridged version he loves so much. add into that some complaining about his wife and some extra blah blah, and that’s pretty much it.

you remember the scene in the movie where The Man In Black/Westley almost slaps Buttercup for what he believes is lying? in the book he actually slaps her. not that his actions seem supported or endorsed by the text, but still, there you are. Buttercup does push him off a cliff soon after, though, so. i wouldn’t call that ‘even’ exactly but, shrug

Vizzini, in the book, has a fucky leg and his back isn’t quite straight, and he’s referred to repeatedly as a “humpback” or “hunchback” which needless to say is Not Kosher

that, as i recall, is it. i hope i’m not forgetting anything. now onto content/trigger warnings:

alcoholism. this shouldn’t be a surprise if you’ve seen the movie: Iñigo has some, shall we say, issues

Fezzik’s parents were... terrible. CPS would be all over them. spoiler: basically they emotionally blackmailed their son into fighting professionally, which they knew he hated, by telling him they’d abandon him if he didn’t

Buttercup has some kinda messed up (read: unsettling but in no way graphic) nightmares after leaving Westley when they’re found by Prince Humperdinck at the Fire Swamp, mostly involving bearing children to the Prince who she once again is set to marry

the slurs and whatnot i mentioned above

violence, obviously. nothing worse than the film as i recall.

that’s it i think. 

okay. all that said. did i enjoy the book? yes i did. a lot.

now, you might be thinking: jesus, Kathleen, after all the shit you just listed? and to this i reply: listen. there is no Unproblematic Media, so you either enjoy some things that are flawed, or you enjoy nothing at all. there is plenty of objectionable shit in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit! fucking plenty! and i love those books! and so do plenty of other people! in my own humble opinion, the good story is worth the shitty bits, because the shitty bits aren’t like, fundamental to the plotline. the story isn’t built on offensive humor or nasty, bigoted attitudes. and they’re also not the most egregious examples of Objectionable Content i’ve come across- not by a longshot. there are levels to offense. there are tiers of bullshit. this is on a far lower tier than a whole host of other things i could mention. but if any of this stuff i’ve listed crosses a line for you, i totally understand and respect that. that’s why i’ve bothered to list it at all. imo, how you respond to objectionable content is important: you don’t ignore it or excuse it, you acknowledge and criticize it. and if you still enjoy whatever the thing is, you allow yourself to enjoy it, without getting hissy or defensive with people for whom the objectionable content ruined the book/movie/whatever. 

there you go, there’s my disclaimer for having enjoyed the book. your mileage may vary.

okay. so. review time.

Buttercup is a far more interesting character in the book than the movie, for which the movie can’t be faulted all that much, because you can’t easily translate a character’s inner monologue/unspoken thoughts to the screen, especially not with the time limit that comes with the medium of film. but watching her struggle with her feelings and life choices (and... lack thereof, since her choice is between marrying the prince and being put to death, which isn’t much of a choice, even if she tries to reason it out later by telling herself she COULD have said no... and initially did) creates far more of a bond between her and the reader in the book than, personally, i felt watching the movie. also she has a great line after Westley calls her beautiful at their reunion- she says something like, ‘everyone’s always calling me beautiful, i have a mind too, why don’t you talk about that’

Both Westley and Buttercup are immature, naive, and foolish in the beginning, and if Westley strikes you as Extra Dickish, a) rewatch the film! he did act like a bit of a dick, there, didn’t he? b) remember that in the story he’s a young man between the ages of eighteen and twenty five, which in my considerable experience is the age at which young men are generally at their peak of Asshole. sorry dudes

and not that Buttercup herself is a complete peach! she deals very poorly with her emotions in general and acts kinda shitty herself once or twice. i won’t say too much lest i spoil everything that’s different between the film and the book.

Prince Humperdinck is also a more three dimensional character; still a rat bastard tho.

onto Fezzik and Iñigo.

as i have said in other blog posts, these boys are... pretty much the whole reason i sought out the book. and... jesus. 

you get all the way into the tragic backstories that were only hinted at in the film. okay, Iñigo’s backstory was more than hinted- but of course you go so much deeper in the book- and Fezzik’s was less than hinted, reduced mostly to a peek at the insecurity that Vizzini exploits and preys upon to keep him in line. not that you’d have to expend a great effort to him to keep him in line; his personality is docile and non-confrontational. truly not the slightest bit aggressive by nature. he’s also kinda clingy and needy, which is a thousand percent understandable given his childhood, and tbqh doesn’t need to be browbeaten for Vizzini to keep him on his short, cruel leash. which makes it all the more painful! hurrah! 😭

also you actually get to meet Iñigo’s father, Domingo Montoya, in a flashback, aaaand... i kinda love him. probably predictable if you know me.

anyway. tragic backstories. which further illuminate the emotional and psychological issues that make them so dependent on Vizzini, and turn them to lives of crime in his employ. poor boys! oy gevalt. sympathy abounds; i honestly don’t know how you could go through the book and not fall at least a little bit in love with this duo, whose friendship is precious and adorable and a balm to the soul that is aching from their painful life stories and unhealthy coping mechanisms. they’re each, very plainly, the only friend the other has in the world, and are constantly helping and bolstering one another. it’s heartbreakingly sweet. i think those boys will be alright as long as they stick together.

and now, the repeated theme of the book, that is presented with far less intensity in the film: life isn’t fair. which, one supposes, is true. but while the narrator’s framing of that assertion may give you the same misgivings they gave me- bitching about his fat son and his less than ideal relationship with his wife- you can also step back and appreciate it as a wee pearl of wisdom. life is often unfair, but that doesn’t mean it’s altogether bad or that you can’t enjoy it. idk, that’s my attitude, man. 

i could talk about the ending here, but i won’t. at least not too much. not to spoiler-ish-ly. if you don’t want to know anything about the book’s ending at all, feel free to not read the last bit here, except for the very last lines which are bolded.

ready? yes? no?

...

the ending to the book is different than the movie. there is a more philosophical, open ended conclusion than you could really get away with in a movie. at least this movie.

just throwing it out there: i believe in happy endings. ones in real life. but i kind of disagree with the author a little bit, in that i don’t think happy endings necessarily have to be perfect and unblemished to qualify as happy endings. that may be the way “happily ever after” is generally presented, but to me, “happily ever after” means, maybe some shit happened, but none of it was completely devastating, and in the final analysis, life was satisfying. that’s the kind of real life happy ending i’m aiming (and hoping) for. this might sound vague but i hope it’ll make sense if you read the book.

if you wanna do that, btw, i read it for free online at allnovel dot net.

[thewynne]

Ranking Lucy Punch Ugly Stepsister Appearances By Cinderella Adaptation

4. Cinderella (Fairy Tales, BBC, 2008)

This version is set at a modern university, where Cinderella is a lowly cleaning lady who dreams of becoming an anthropologist and the ugly stepsisters are graduate students. It is horrendous. The "prince" (a slimy misogynistic hotshot professor of dubious ethical standards) is repulsive and barely learns otherwise, and as someone with an archaeology degree/a little bit of relevant experience, the way he casually manhandles his prize artifact had me screaming in rage the entire time (it's a human skull!! why isn't it treated respectfully??). I know Indiana Jones manhandles shit too, but at least Indiana Jones fights Nazis.

I like the anti-elitist bent of a cleaning lady-turned-academic, and the fairy godmother (that one older lady coworker who looks out for you during your shittiest service job) is a highlight, Ms. Punch & her fellow coed are fine, even if irl anthro grad students would be much more exhausted & also want to file a complaint against the professor. But that professor, he fills me with so much rage, I want to tear up his tenure application, ban him from the SAA/AIA, and reject every single paper he ever tries to publish for the rest of his miserable career. -2/10.

3. Into The Woods (2014)

A frustrating adaptation of one of the greatest musicals of all time. The stepsisters are in it for about 2 minutes. Some truly great actors are doing their best, including Lucy, but their best can't make up for the somber color palette, boring direction, the fact that they downplayed approx. 60% of the humor that helps make the original work, and the fact that they REMOVED THE NARRATOR/OLD MAN WHICH HOLLOWS OUT THE THIRD ACT AND WRECKS THE ENTIRE EMOTIONAL CORE/MORAL OF THE SHOW sorry. Anyway. 5/10, Lucy gets an 8 for living her dreams.

2. Ella Enchanted (2004)

The key to this movie is understanding that it is not an adaptation of Gail Carson Levine's seminal book Ella Enchanted, it is a goofy fantasy romcom that happens to share the same name and basic conceit as GCL's book. You cannot compare them. It is a fool's errand.

With that in mind, pretty much EVERYONE in this movie understood the assignment and EVERYONE is having a blast, none more so than our orange-wearing, scenery chewing, Prince-fangirling Hattie played by Lucy Punch. Delightfully malicious, terrifyingly tacky, she is everything an ugly stepsister should be and we love her for it. 8/10, 11/10 for Hattie.

1. Cinderella (TV movie, Channel 4, 2000)

How to explain this Cinderella adaptation? It hews surprisingly closely to the original tale. Everyone dresses like it's the 50s. The sky is a constant hallucinogenic swirl of cgi colors. The fairy godmother is a magical fish hermit who lives in a cave. The prince rides a motorcycle and has a rock band. Everyone talks like they're high and/or on the set of Twin Peaks.

Cinderella (2000) cannot be described, it can only be experienced. Cinderella's stepmother & evil stepsisters get the most prominent roles and screen time out of the bunch, and they are INCREDIBLE. If Lucy Punch & her sister Goneril are in the background, it's only bc the incomparable Kathleen Turner CANNOT BE STOPPED as Cindy's evil stepmother, and nor should she. Kathleen Turner had one job: to be HIGH CAMP and EVIL, and she took to it like a peregrine falcon takes to hunting small mice. The full-throated way she goes "OK girls, someone's losing some toes!" while HOISTING UP A BOW SAW lives in my head rent-free to this day. A pure joy to behold.

Nothing in this adaptation makes sense. Still unclear if it actually exists or it happened in a fever dream. I've watched it 5 separate times. 112/10 for Kathleen Turner alone, 8/10 for the adaptation as a whole, 9/10 for Lucy Punch.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Please tell me all about your complaints with BBC Merlin, bc I too have Many Complaints (ft. Miscommunication and Secrets Are Good For Drama to a Maximum of One Season and Certainly Not Five; Morgana is a Terrified and Oppressed Woman Who Is Made Evil for Being Terrified and Oppressed and Does Not Deserve It, Much Like All Mages; and Everyone Has A Serious Case of Forgetting Their Character Growth when The Plot Requires.

*deep breath*

Honestly I think my ultimate complaint about Merlin is that it suffers from an absolutely crippling case of narrative cowardice, which is a concept you might recall from my Inevitable Tirade About SPN.  Basically: if you open your show with a large portion of it predicated on a conceit that has to be drastically altered in order to accomplish the ultimate goal of the plot (in the case of Merlin, switching from uther’s Camelot to Arthur’s Camelot), you can’t be a shit about it and you have to actually goddamn do it.  CHANGE YOUR PARADIGM, YOU LIMP NOODLES.

No, I’m dead serious, all their problems basically boil down to a critical inability to change the paradigm.  Let’s do an experiment to prove it.

Merlin’s magic, obviously.

Two things here.

First, Merlin hiding his magic.  At the beginning, Merlin can’t tell anyone about his magic on pain of death, because Uther.  This implicitly sets up the eventual transition into Arthur’s Camelot as a shift into a ‘safe’ Camelot for magic users in general and Merlin in particular, because we all know a little bit about Arthuriana and we know that Merlin becomes Arthur’s trusted adviser, magic and all.  So in order to accomplish that transition, what ‘should’ happen (by ‘should’ I mean, ‘the thing that makes intuitive sense to someone waiting for the plot to advance’) is that Merlin’s presence and involvement in Arthur’s life gradually makes Arthur more comfortable with magic, until finally a crisis forces a reveal in which Merlin comes clean and puts Arthur in the position of deciding once and for all where he stands.  Plot and precedent in every other Arthurian legend requires that Arthur decides, at the very least, that Merlin is not evil and that consequently magic can be used for good.  This would by virtue of necessity put Arthur and Merlin against Uther, and moreover mean that it would be the two of them scheming together in order to save the kingdom every couple weeks, which would be an excellent way to develop their relationship and progress toward Arthur’s Camelot.  Instead, by trying to uphold the ‘secrecy’ conceit, the plot is forced to relapse to Square One every couple of episodes, and therefore when Arthur’s Camelot does come ‘round, it’s not safe for Merlin to come clean, Merlin still doesn’t really trust Arthur, Arthur’s playing checkers on a board where the other side is playing chess, and We The People feel pretty fucking cheated.

Second, Merlin’s magic in general.  FRIENDS.  COMRADES.  IF YOU ARE GOING TO GO TO GREAT LENGTHS TO SET SOMEONE UP AS THE MOST POWERFUL MAGE IN HISTORY, I WANT TO SEE THEM BE THE MOST POWERFUL MAGE IN HISTORY.  Honestly by about season 3 there’s no point to Merlin being worried about coming clean, because we’re told repeatedly that he’s powerful enough to not worry about being burned at the stake or whatever.  According to what we’re told, Merlin should have the raw power to walk into Uther’s courtroom and announce “Hello, all, I am a warlock and I dare you to mess with me” and then go back to his business.  But since we never see him actually carry that out–y’all he fucking killed Nimueh with lightning, why didn’t we see that again?–Merlin’s power level is mostly an Informed Attribute, which leaves the viewer frustrated and confused by a lot of the tension the show sets up regarding threats to Merlin’s life.  We see Merlin demonstrate multiple times that it would be almost impossible to execute him by traditional methods, and yet we’re still supposed to agree that it’s too dangerous.  Like.  Listen, my friends.  Here is a pro tip.  It’s actually not a narrative-ending problem to have a ludicrously OP character (which is what Merlin would be if the writers were consistent with his abilities), but you have to acknowledge that they develop a whole different set of obstacles than someone who isn’t ludicrously OP.  It just takes some creative thinking.

Morgana!

Morgana is horribly mistreated by the narrative and I’m not gonna question you there, but moreover, a lot of the problems with her magic plotline are, again, about a fear of changing the paradigm.  So, like, okay, let’s all agree that it would make infinitely more narrative sense for Morgana to go to Arthur, her foster brother and trusted friend, in distress and tell him that she thinks she can do magic, which Arthur would tell his servant Merlin.  The two of them recommend that Morgana keep it under wraps, and maybe that’s how Arthur starts to come around on the magic thing, rather than Merlin’s influence.  Sure, super chill.  Instead of just doing an about-face on the whole loyalty thing because…what…she’s not the heir?  (It’s been A Minute since I put myself through this show.)  Instead of that whole mess, maybe Morgana comes to Merlin when Uther is wounded and begs him to help her find a way to heal him, because surely, surely, if his beloved ward (and daughter) uses magic for something so pure and innocently good as healing the king, it can’t be evil.  When that inevitably backfires, Uther banishes Morgana from Camelot, and Arthur tells her to go because it’s safer.  Morgana, betrayed by Uther and perceiving herself to be abandoned by Arthur and Merlin, turns on Camelot in a rage and allies with her sister Morgause.  This plotline gives Morgana more agency, avoids the rather unsavory “madness leads to murder” overtones, minimizes the predatory vibe of Morgause’s plotline, and actually contributes to developing Merlin and Arthur as leaders and characters alike.

The problem, of course, is that this plotline hinges on Arthur’s character not being a static piece of shit that would honestly fracture under even the most minimal paradigm shift.  So instead, Morgana draws the short straw for a sudden face-heel turn so that there can be a motivation to enforce Arthur’s hatred of magic and Merlin’s fear of telling the truth, and then she disappears for half a season only to show up again crazy and homicidal, which…honestly there’s not a lot of emotional punch there.  At no point in time did I sympathize with Morgana because, update, I do not believe that fratricide and patricide are legitimate responses to her situation in the show.  But since they presented it as a problem that should have been sympathetic, I was mostly just angry rather than disinterested.

Merlin and Arthur’s friendship!

Honestly this should be pretty blindingly obvious, but Merlin and Arthur…I actually don’t super care for their relationship, because there are so few occasions when Arthur counterbalances his constant insults and judgement with the kind of do-or-die loyalty Merlin shows him.  And like on the one hand it’s clearly meant to be largely in good humor, but there are plenty of times when it’s Clearly Not.  But the worst part is that I can’t even hold it against Arthur because Merlin is not telling him the truth, which in turn I can’t hold against Merlin because Arthur is pretty much a narrow-minded magic-hating prick, which never changes because Merlin isn’t telling him the truth, because Arthur has never given him reason to think he’d stand by Merlin against Uther, and so on down the line.

And you expect me to believe that relationship develops into something strong enough to build a kingdom on?  To build a legend on?  I think the hell not.  In order to develop that relationship into something that feels as last-gasp-devoted as the show tells you it should, someone’s paradigm has to shift and it basically has to be Arthur because See Above and, again, the showmakers are fucking cowards.

Arthur’s personality AS A WHOLE

Once again: I am existentially exhausted by the whole Arthur Is A Dick thing.  And I don’t blame Merlin for starting it, but it’s definitely a peak concentration of the whole phenomenon, and I fucking hate it.  I eventually stuck it out and watched three seasons and change and I did genuinely enjoy a lot of things, but I attempted the first episode three times and had to stop because I was so fucking aggravated with Arthur’s character.  And basically, in order for him to move firmly out of Spoiled Rich Prick With Issues into Competent Merciful Leader With Tragic Backstory That Panned Out Well In The End, he needs to acknowledge in-narrative that he’s been, A, contributing to the persecution of magic users and that’s something he’ll never truly be clean of, and, B, he’s been not only mocking but actively penalizing Merlin for what Arthur does not realize is saving the country.  Basically, it would require Arthur to grow up, not just in his status as king but in and of himself as an individual, in his relationships as well as in his throne, become more than a war hero with more courage than is healthy.  It would require Arthur to spit out an apology that sounded like an apology, and start trusting Merlin’s word as an adviser rather than a conveniently intelligent servant.

And like.  That paradigm shift would probably have made the showrunners shit their pants on the spot.

If you, like me, couldn’t move past these issues but still want(ed) to enjoy the characters and universe, I have a solution for you!  Here is the most magnificent series rewrite I have ever seen in my life, and as far as I am concerned the One True Merlin Canon.  The link is to the Season 3 rewrite, which is where it goes hard AU and solves a lot of problems. 

In conclusion: fuck this noise, everyone go watch Legend of the Sword instead, @Guy Ritchie please make at least one sequel.

[jeonfinite]

end of the year fic meme

total number of completed stories: 5 total word count: 51225

Overall Thoughts Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? I wrote way more than I predicted bc I never thought I’d produce fic at all, but I actually published a oneshot or chapter at least once a month since june. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? I would’ve never guessed I would become 100% certified jinkook trash this yr and would’ve laughed in your face if you told me otherwise lmao. I didn’t even know who jungkook was until feb!! in fact despite always having a soft spot for bts and following all of their music releases I was like actually ‘I don’t think I’ll ever truly stan them’ lmfao. my life is a joke. What’s your own favorite story of the year? forever yours. it’s basically everything I ever want to happen in a fic. seokjin as an academy award winning actor? jinkook writing a song together? jinkook going on cute dates and continually supporting the other as they fall deeper in love? ugh my heart. the idea is so dear to me and it’s my baby. and even tho bangtan disbanded in the fic, they all found their own success and they’re rly close friends. I fucking love the ending too omg. I did my best to make it rly gratifying and make up for all the stuff jungkook went through earlier. plus I love fics based on idol/band verse, canon/divergence/future fic and I liked weaving in canon elements to it. it makes it feel more real imo.

Did you take any writing risks this year? uh, not rly? other than writing and publishing my first fic ever. and I guess actually shading big hit/bang pd lmao. as far as I know of, no one has done that before? and multiple ppl have called me brave for doing so lol. Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?

to try to write longer fics I guess. there’s this 10k fic I’ve been planning forever but still haven’t gotten around to even tho I kept meaning to write it next lol.

From my past year of writing what was… My best story of this year: definitely forever yours. honestly sometimes I feel like it’s my peak lmfao. like I will never able to match some of those descriptions ever again. whenever I’m struggling to write something and I go back to it I’m like HOW DID I WRITE THIS?? and when ppl tell me I’ve made them cry and laugh omg. I almost don’t believe it. I don’t think any of my fics have elicited such a reaction and I think it’s the one that affected me most. I hurt my own non existent heart. My most popular story of this year: forever yours lmao. not only does it have the most hits/kudos/comment/bookmarks, but it’s the fic I most often see ppl reccing, screaming about, and quoting on twitter. I love it tho. pls continue screaming about it and @ me!! The story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: lights go on again. it’s gotten the least attention of all my fics so far. idk if it’s bc ppl are sick of me already or if I rly offended that many ppl by insulting their precious bang pd oppa lmao. also yo where all the jin stans at? I thought at least they’d appreciate its contents lmao.

but also rollin’ the deep bc I actually like that one a lot now and it’s the second least popular lol. but it’s on par with light me up and I expected that based on the content. ofc the fics with jin winning an oscar and shitting on the mother/son trope would gain the most traction so I’m not surprised. The most fun story to write:

us against the world! the idea of everyone hitting on jin and jungkook getting jealous was too good to pass up. I had so much fun writing taehyung’s scene omfg. I actually started it with it lmfao and it seems like most ppl agree. hoseok’s always makes me laugh and ngl I feel like a genius whenever I reread that fic lol. :’) definitely my peak humor and probably the funniest/crackiest thing I’ll ever write.

Story with single sweetest moment?

it’s a tie with forever yours’ birthday scene and light me up’s christmas decorations. but overall rollin’ the deep made me melt the most with how overwhelming sweet it was. I live for soft sweet jinkook doing grossly romantic things for each other ok. The story with the single sexiest moment:

jungkook wearing lingerie in light me up, definitely :x tho the smut scene in forever yours is infinitely better imo. I will unfortunately never able to write a smut scene that good again but I think it’s the intimacy of the moment and the way it’s written that makes it so special, hence why I like it so much. The most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:

idk? me attempting smut even tho I’m terrible at it? quoting myself I actually said “writing sex is honestly so hard already I would never waste my time writing it just for the sake of it if it didn’t have any meaning” yet the smut in light me up was the first scene I started writing. I am a goddamn hypocrite lol. but it’s sth I thought I’d never be able to write bc a few years ago I would get so embarrassed by the idea and would want to throw myself off a cliff at the thought lol. The story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:

none of them rly. I just write jinkook like I how see them. their interactions just come so naturally to me that it’s one of the easiest and most fun things to write in my fics. The hardest story to write: honestly… light me up. all my fics get rly hard to write one point and I always start off hating the first drafts bc they’re complete garbage but I fucking suffered the most writing that one. literally took fucking forever to wrangle the sex scene into what it was. it was hot ass fragmented mess that I had to slowly unravel and reorganize one sentence at a time. I didn’t even want to look at it bc it was so bad lol. and two of the most pivotal points; the lights  and lingerie were awful at first so I struggled to make them good enough to rly stand out and to a standard I was pleased with. and transitioning the first scene into the second one where jinkook kiss under the snowfall and the ending were fucking hell too. you can ask kaleidotears, I was bitching to her the entire time lmao. albeit vaguely bc I didn’t want to spoil anything. I started a month in advance bc it usually takes me that long to produce something and as the date approached closer I was lowkey panicking and almost thought I wouldn’t make it lol. The biggest disappointment:

lights go on again. not only is the reception lackluster compared to my other fics, but it’s honestly the weakest thing I’ve written so far. I’m seriously considering orphaning it but idk :( The biggest surprise: idk. I was honestly fucking shellshocked when us against the world got over 1000 hits in less than 24 hrs tho. I never expected that kind of reaction, especially for my very first ever fic. I honestly thought no one would want to read my fics lol. but also when ppl say I’m their favorite or one of their favorite authors?? like in what in the hell. I consider myself an amateur bc I have never written consistently before in my life. I’m new to the whole fic writing scene. I’ve actually spent the majority of my life hating my writing lmao. or when ppl praise things I think I’m shit at lol. I also like rollin’ in the deep a lot more than I thought I would considering it was just a dumb fluff piece to satisfy my thirst. I wrote the first 1300 words in a waiting room and I was like I don’t have to make this perfect bc it’s stupid fluff but I legit melted writing it. oh and publishing the first chapter of forever yours in two weeks after my first fic. how in the hell did I ever write 9k that quickly I will unfortunately never able to do that again.

The most unintentionally telling story:

I’m not sure what this even means? a lot of myself does bleed into my stories I think. like even if the mood varies depending on the scene I feel like my voice carries through? they just sound like me and it’s something that can’t be repicated lol. like my fics have a shit ton of cussing which is part of it lmao. but also sometimes I give jinkook aspects of myself like seokjin doing aegyo and being clingy when drunk (which is actually real omfg I’m a genius sorry) and jungkook not realizing when other ppl like him. also by reading my fics you can tell which groups I stan, what foods I like, etc. and ofc when I start waxing poetic about their looks or voices or talents that’s all me lol. Highlights + Wrap-up Favorite Opening Line(s): “And the Academy Award for Best Actor goes to… Kim Seokjin!” — forever yours; ch1 twenty four

The world is fucking taunting Jungkook.— forever yours; ch2 fiction

Jungkook feels sick. Bile mounts up his throat; it tastes like bitterness, hurt, betrayal, anger, resentment, and heartbreak, flowing through him in chaotic discord. His voice breaks underneath the staggering weight. — forever yours; ch3 smile, again

they’re all from forever yours lmao. the first one is for very obvious reasons but the other two I find the most riveting. I tend to start my fics with dialogue or with “seokjin/jungkook …” bc I’m so creative lol Favorite Closing Line(s): they lose themselves in each other until the world fades till there’s nothing but seokjin and jungkook, just their mouths and bodies and hearts uniting into one against the world. — us against the world

I’m forever yours. — forever yours

I like connecting the endings to my titles clearly lmao. but those endings are the strongest and the ones  I’m most proud of. the other ones are all kind of similar and end with jinkook in a bed saying I love you haha. Favorite 5 10 Lines from Anywhere:

it’s relatively quiet outside and the weather is beautiful; the clear, azure skies provide an obstructed pathway for the gleaming sunshine to burn the foliage in a palette of fiery crimsons, rich golds, and vibrant oranges. the oppressive summer heat has finally faded into a cool, refreshing breeze with the advent of autumn. seokjin tugs jungkook into his side for a surge of warmth as they amble towards the car, the crisp air nipping at their skin, rustling through his bunny ears, and fallen leaves crunching beneath their feet. — rollin’ in the deep

Snowfall blankets the landscape like an instagram filter, casting a creamy, dreamy lighting over the scenery. It looks like they stepped into a fairytale. — light me up

Jungkook hums sweetly, toying with the strands of hair behind Seokjin’s nape. The melody is so soft and sweet like a souffle that Seokjin wants to devour it—so he does, capturing Jungkook’s lips and licking the inside of his mouth. — light me up

The parade marches through as they eat, a symphony of prismatic floats and musical instruments decorating Main Street with whimsy. Seokjin sways alongside the music and Jungkook joins him, their bubbling giggles adding another layer of sound to the percussion. — forever yours

Seokjin is so beautiful but he’s never been more gorgeous than when his chiseled, naked body and pink strands glisten with sweat while thrusting deeply into Jungkook, dark eyes smouldering with lust and headiness, handsome face contorted in concentration intent on pleasuring Jungkook, and plush, pretty, pink mouth falling open as melodic sounds escape his lips, sweeter than his blessed high notes. It’s too much for Jungkook. — forever yours

“You’re gorgeous. My beautiful baby boy. Sweet marshmallow bunny.” — light me up

the bright white of the headband contrasts with his dark hair, haloing a soft crown of light around him, and coupled with the afterglow of his orgasm, he looks angelic. seokjin tells him as much and he flushes a pretty pink, a perfect complement to his ivory rabbit ears. — rollin’ in the deep

jungkook licks his lips as they stroll past a lone vendor selling hotteok, and when seokjin kisses him, cornering him in the enshrouding, secluded thicket of maple trees, seokjin tastes sweet like brown sugar, like cinnamon, like the warming comfort of fall spices and home-baked treats. — rollin’ in the deep

It’s empty this late at night, their only company being the summer breeze rustling through their clothes and the mild rippling of the waves. The water glitters beautifully underneath the stars in the darkness but it pales in comparison to the way the moonlight dances off Seokjin’s freshly dyed pastel hair to illuminate his gorgeous features. He looks magical, bright eyes sparkling and pink strands shimmering. — forever yours

The kiss is everything Jungkook dreamed and fantasized about but beyond his imagination. Seokjin tastes like coffee and chocolate and cream, their dessert lingering on his tongue, and Jungkook licks up every last morsel of flavor. He can’t get enough; Seokjin is so sweet and soft and warm against him like a freshly baked cake. He’s addicted. He wants more. — forever yours

also the iconic:

“Fuck PDogg hyung and Bang PD hyung” — forever yours

you know what this is too fucking hard. I’ll do a separate post with my top 5 lines from each fic. these are just 10 lines I’m particularly fond of and rly wanted to highlight bc no one else has.

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

1. JUNGKOOK WEARING LINGERIE AND BUNNY EARS but particularly the part with jungkook sitting on seokjin’s lap growling he’s sexy and seokjin laughing at him for being adorable. literally if my drawing skills were good enough and I had a tablet I would fucking illustrate this myself

2. seokjin gifting jungkook diamond studs on the balcony underneath fairy lights and the seoul night sky

3. jinkook kissing under the snowfall and surrounded by christmas lighting + decorations

4. jinkook holding hands while walking outside in the fall foliage and seokjin kissing jungkook in a thicket of maple trees

5. JINKOOK PERFORMING THEIR FUCKING DUET AT JUNGKOOK’S SOLO CONCERT

+ bonus sakura petals swirling around seokjin with seokjin cornering jungkook against a tree to swipe stray ice cream off his lips and licking it off his thumb and watching the fireworks at disneyland with seokjin’s head nestled onto jungkook’s shoulder and arms wrapped around his waist.

Fic-writing goals for 2018: to finally write the ideas on my ever growing list. my last three were completely unplanned and were random spur of the moments. but I wanted to write something for jin’s bday. I could’ve written something short from my list but I wanted to do christmas lights and jungkook in lingerie so :x also to take my sweetass time until I’m perfectly happy with everything before publishing and not rushing out fics anymore. I’ve learned that when I try to write something as fast as possible for others—it goes wholly unappreciated like the last chapter of forever yours and light me up. like half of the original commenters disappeared despite finally getting the happy ending they cried for and being so excited for the fic? lol idk what happened but there’s no way I could’ve messed up the last chapter that badly… but yeah it’s just not worth the stress lmao. ppl just don’t understand the effort, time, and pain it goes into producing something.

[sundcwns-blog]

heey, hello, it’s a meme. i’m maze ( she/her ) & hailing from one of the oh so lovely coughs gmt tzs aka gmt+2. besides being trash on the daily i’m literally always listening to music aka if u ever need something new in that department .. hello, or browsing through netflix without any intent on watching smth. living that wild life ik .. DKAMS. but you’re here for my two kids aka basil & saint so here we go ! if you’d like to plot like this and i’ll slide into ur ims or look under the read more for my disc*rd ! also as a warning i unintentionally was v vain and made both muses scorpios .....

☾ — ·˚ » BASIL CRATES is in saint tropez !! they often get mistaken as KIAN LAWLEY. apparently, HE/THEY is/are the JOCULAR of the group. they’re a TWENTY-ONE year old PANSEXUAL DEMIMALE. i hear they’re known as ALTRUISTIC and DOGMATIC. they also make their living as ART STUDENT / BARTENDER / COMIC BOOK ARTIST but you’d have to ask them a bit more.

BACKGROUND + PERSONALITY.

born and raised in berlin, germany until his mother decided to move to the us when basil was twelve.

despite growing up bilingual, he had difficulties adjusting to the new surroundings and rather spent his free time drawing, eventually building up universes without needing any context and instead having the designs speak for themselves.

after finishing high school at age sixteen basil took a gap year to travel through europe with money they earned from several jobs during school times. bas was v very introverted back then, so it served as a challenge which once again they had difficulties with at first. but ofc you can’t get around without trying, so bas did. he’s still more of an ambivalent than an extrovert, but this journey made him see the beauty of uncertainty and they loved it.

also ik i used he & they in that last paragraph instead of just one bc basil honestly truly doesn’t care which one others use as long as they acknowledge bas isn’t cis bc he’s v open about his gender along with being pan .. but that’s another thing.

basil has a very high iq, but always prevented others from knowing about it. he basically failed tests on purpose back in germany and in the us he always made sure others don’t feel bad about their results and said his were worse even though he probably always got an a+, thus resulting in bas being able to skip two grades.

his mother had to carry two jobs to make a living for the two of them, which was one of the reasons why bas sold his art from a young age. thankfully it was actually decent ( coughs and looks @ ryan reynolds’ twitter ) and ppl actually wanted to pay good money for it. this was also one of the key moments in which bas realized they wanted to have their profession somewhere in the art department.

married his high school sweetheart in las vegas as soon as they both turned eighteen, but divorced just three weeks later. this is just one of their impulsive decisions as bas isn’t much of a planner, they rather have a few good laughs when telling the story ( even for the 10th time ) instead of asking what if. the only thing bas ever truly planned was becoming a comic book artist. they’re still at the very beginning as basil’s v young, but they’re just as determined to make it in the industry.

basil’s mother was always into greek mythology and even gave her child the middle name cerberus, which literally is the most dangerous thing about him and while he’s into mythology himself, he doesn’t really tell anyone his middle name as he’d rather not be compared to a three-headed dog .. but if he ever ends up drunk u can bet he’d insist on being called cerberus and nothing else.

being a comic book artist basil’s an avid comic reader as well, but mostly prefers indie comics as they’re more his kind of humor. speaking of, basil’s more of a morbid humor kind of pal ? but he’ll also immediately apologize if he takes it too far bc he values comfort even more than getting a laugh out of others and himself.

huge fan of dogs, literally the person that points at a dog and says “aw.” and definitely wants to pet them.

the least scorpio-like scorpio you will ever meet, and trust me this is coming from a Real Scorpio™.

ends up in a lot of weird scenarios while just trying their best, but always tries to take it with humor especially if someone’s with them.

most of his friends wouldn’t expect it, but basil’s very romantic, like going all out even for a first date and is probably doing waay too much for his opposite.

not really into the whole sex, drugs n rock ‘n’ roll as he prefers to maybe drink a few beers with his closest friends due to seeing what alcohol can do to people on an almost daily basis as a bartender. however, all of kian’s tattoos are canon for bas except for the native american and butterfly ones.

WANTED PLOTS.

literally everything but to be basic .. a best friend ( who might even know about his high iq bc he truly doesn’t tell anyone ), bad influence ( basil’s not exactly innocent or good himself but there’s always worse am i right ), childhood friend ( someone he considered a friend after moving to a completely new country ), enemy ( maybe they’re of the opposite group or even in the same and they had some fight that led to it or just disliking each other for apparently no reason at all just .. pls give me smth negative ), ex on good/bad terms ( as basil’s pretty romantic it could’ve been too much for the other or literally any other reason k thanks ), someone who hates his jokes ( plain n simple .. kewl ), my brain is scattered bc it’s almost 2am rn so i Def missed 820397 plots i’d love but u know what .. i’m a plot pro so shrugs. also i nearly wrote pro plot so u get me now .. pls killme KMDSX.

☾ — ·˚ » SAINT DEVERAUX is in saint tropez !! they often get mistaken as ALISSA VIOLET. apparently, SHE arrived from THE USA. they’re a TWENTY-ONE year old UNLABELED CIS FEMALE. i hear they’re known as VIGOROUS and DETACHED. they also make their living as an ACTRESS but you’d have to ask them a bit more.

BACKGROUND + PERSONALITY.

just as a small disclaimer: if anyone read girls on fire by robin wasserman, saint’s personality is heavily inspired by one of the characters in it aka lacey. and if u haven’t read it .. pls do it if you’re even just remotely into ya literature.

born and raised in los angeles, us, saint was practially thrown into the lives of the rich and famous. her parents were big in hollywood back in the 80s & 90s and gave those legacies to her.

being practially raised by nannies, saint didn’t really have a connection to her parents till they retired when she was fourteen. from there it was basically always good which is .. v weird but they somehow made it work.

as soon as saint turned eighteen she decided to change her last name to her mother’s maiden name, as she’s never been a fan of women having to give up their names just for being married even if it’s voluntary. this also resulted in her imdb page ( she truly made it huh. ) being “divived” into saint bartowski ( also shoutout @ anyone who gets this ref ) and saint deveraux.

at age eighteen saint also let out her true self, at least towards her parents. she admitted to worshipping lucifer just to piss them off and see how they’d react, it was just a game for her. but to be as convincing as possible, she did the most, even though she would’ve already had them just with her words, but saint always wanted to know just how far she could take it.

to the public she’s seen as this socialite turned actress who never did anything wrong, but just due to her parents and herself keeping everything under a neat little rug.

saint’s a very passionate person and loves to be surrounded or admired by people, but at the same time she doesn’t really care about anyone, no matter how many i love yous she’s going to whisper into someone’s ear or no broken promises ever.

as a result of the press putting labels onto her 24/7 she resents them. the only one she’ll ever claim is being in the lgbtq+ com as it’s basically the only thing in her life she truly cares about besides acting and her cats. however saint also makes a lot of fun of men and highly prefers females and nb pals for .. u know what.

she can also be extra af as she literally bought an old vw t1 bus in st. tropez for the short amount of time she’s there and have it look exactly like the one she has back in la with the pride flag sprayed on its roof and every little sticker/detail on its doors, etc.

getting to her job .. she currently stars in a made up netflix show that’s somewhere between veronica mars, twin peaks and 21 jump street ( the movie version ). i actually made a whole filmography for her but i’m too lazy for graphics and i’m not even sure whether i can use real movies/shows so oo. but if u want a list i can tots send it via disc*rd ( btw mine is artcmis#4377 ). and just know that she admires amber heard and mostly chooses roles like her aka not the damsel in distress. tho she would def love to save that kind of character one day .. js.

this is getting soo messy already omg. but to put her in a nutshell, saint’s a callous, manipulative, control loving, determined scorpio who also happens to be an actress, cat lover and feminist putting up a facade daily. also she can’t handle relationships for shhhit.

and what would these bullet points be if i didn’t start and finish them with a disclaimer ? still a mess yeah ik .. MXKAJD. but even tho most probs don’t even know who alissa is i just wanted to say that saint will have green eyes bc .. #aesthetic.

WANTED PLOTS.

once again any plot goes except for romantic stylez kind of plots bc yk not her kind of thing. catfish ( either someone used to catfish someone else using her pics or even better someone got catfished with her photos n now they’re meeting and she’s .. acting v different. plS. ), fwb ( so yeah saint hates relationships but u know what she doesn’t hate wink wink ;) KMSLASK also probs won’t work with males bc she’s all like [ cher horowitz vc ] as if ! ), fan ( someone who likes her movies or show idk ?? let her be all chill with them pls ), smoke bud ( she loves to party & smoke soo .. maybe even in an all-in-one with the fan plot ), enemy ( probs one of the other sec charas bc maybe they’ve met before or even wanted the same role ?? ), once again my brain is a mess sooo .. good bi !

this got longer than my biography ever could so if u read it all .. u truly are the mvp and deserve an award.

[manoharis]

A Year in Review: Telugu Movies!

You can’t pay me to watch these (aka watch me roast them in 10 words or less)

Dictator - a Bala Krishna movie without animals in the title!

Krishnashtami - wyd Sunil.

Terror - the title aptly describes my feelings about this movie.

Guntur Talkies - lets just not. more like gun-to-ur head after watching this.

Attack - this wins for having a director and actor that Idc about!

Edo Raakam Ado Raakam - edho raakamaina torture.

Thikka - ee cinema choosaka vacchedi adhe

Jaguar -  just when you’ve thought twood’s exhausted the possible feline comparisions

I really really dont care:  Savitri, Raja Cheyyi Vesthe, Abbayitho Ammayi, Killing Veerappan, Express Raja, Naruda Donoruda, Hyper, Speedunodu, Garam, Nayaki

Nenu Sailaja -I had a lot of expectations for this movie because it was said to be “fresh” but there was really nothing new here. I loved Ram’s look, some of the comedy and most of the songs. Worth a watch but nothing ground-breaking. 

Nannaku Prematho -  A for effort? I just couldn’t connect to the film because I felt like the emotion was kind of artificial and didn’t really pull me in. I couldn’t get behind a lot of the “logic” in this film. Also there disruptive bgm in every scene which made it really hard to focus on the film. 

Soggade Chinni Nayana - I feel like this movie was targeted towards middle aged aunties lol. I love Nagarjuna and Ramya Krishna but there were one too many scenes where I was hiding my face from embarrassment. On the plus side, all the sarees in the movie were gorgeous !

Lacchimdeviki O Lekkundi - messy because of all the back and forth plot twists. Horror comedy is literally my least favorite genre so I didn’t like this.

Seethamma Andalu Ramaya Sutralu - below average; I don’t have much to say about this. If I hadn’t watched it, this would belong in the ‘I really don’t care’ list.

Krishnagadi Veera Prema Gaadha - I think I was drowsy when watching this (not because of the movie) so I honestly don’t remember anything but the beginning portion which was really funny. I need to rewatch this.

Malupu - I always love a good thriller but it could’ve been better. Aadhi Pinnisetty’s voice tho !!

Kshanam - FAVE !!! This was so good! again always down for a good thriller. Super gripping and just the right pace. I loved how in this the love story was relevant to the script. It was very well written, acted, and taken as well in terms of technicalities. I can definitely see it getting awards next year.

Kalyana Vaibhogame - The first half was loud and messy which made me almost stop watching it. With a premise like this, the story is extremely predictable, as in you knew the lead pair would fall in love eventually, it was just a matter of when. I thought the second half was pretty cute though.

Shourya – I know this is biased of me but I can’t remember the last movie of the Manchu brothers that I’ve seen because the kind of movies they make are just so not my type. However, when this movie came out I did hear some positive talk for it on twitter. But then it wasn’t talked about at all after like a week? So I’m not exactly sure how successful it was. I may watch it eventually but I’m not dying to see it lol

Run- This was the remake of Neram by Sundeep Kishan (side note: I really like Sundeep, so I was annoyed that he was doing a remake). I didn’t hear much about this either after the first week so I don’t think it did that well. However, I do want to watch it because I’ve been trying to watch Neram since forever but I could never find it with subtitles so I guess this is my chance to watch it, but a lesser version ofc. Although one of the main reasons I wanted to watch was for Nivin and Nazriya so this doesn’t really do much more me lmao

Oopiri – I haven’t seen the original so I really liked this! S/o to Nagarjuna for realizing fairly quickly that its time for him to more age appropriate roles (take notes @ chiranjeevi). This is why the Akkineni’s are my fave! (my bias is showing so much in this post but do I really care). anyways, I loved the chemistry between Karthi and Nagarjuna cause lbr their bromance was the real love story in this. Shriya’s appearance made the childhood shipper in me super happy. Overall, an enjoyable film with some great performances. 

Sardaar Gabbar Singh – The amount of hype this movie had, jfc. Tbh I don’t have anything major against Pawan Kalyan. He’s just not one of my favorites, and ngl I liked him in the early 2000s phase (i.e. before Gabbar Singh which is when his fans went to piccha peaks). His fan base is literally one of the worst. I just think they’re super extra and very disrespectful, esp at audio launches. So yes, I was happy that it flopped because one it put the pk fans in their place who were hyping this to no end. Also he wrote the story and screenplay for this and reading some reviews about that gave me life lmao. If you want to hear something good about this movie, Kajal looks stunning in all her princess-y clothes and a few of the songs are pretty good. 

Sarrainodu – I actually haven’t seen this yet but I do want to. Here I go being biased again lol. If this starred anyone I didn’t care for, I would have no interest in this movie but because it’s the fave, Allu Arjun, I have to watch it. I like a lot of the video songs and the music actually grew on me when I was forced to listen to it A LOT in India over the summer. Also he looks hella good, I’m sold, bye. 

Supreme – Ok this movie was huge in India over the summer. Everyone loved it and ngl I used the phrase “its amazing zing zing” about a thousand times among my cousins without even having seen it. I tried watching it once I got back and it was just too much loud comedy for me to handle and I never finished it. 

Brahmotsavam – oh lord. TOO SOON. Jk, I’m over it. Easily the biggest disappointment of 2016 in terms of what was promised and what was delivered. I literally followed this movie since it was even rumored to be happening because Mahesh and Sreekanth Addala. Then Mickey J Meyer was brought on and then Samantha and I was just so hyped. I think the fact that I was dying to watch this in theaters and then I didn’t even want to watch it once it was online, says a lot. I was just really shocked that everyone, fans and non-fans alike panned it especially when it involved sooo many people. The second hand embarrassment is too real. But I did eventually watch it and what the actual hell. There was literally no story, no coherence, and way too many irrelevant characters. Mahesh has a pattern of delivering blockbusters after massive flops so here’s hoping the best for his next!

A…Aa: I have so many feelings about this movie. Trivikram is one of my most favorite directors/writers and has been for a long time. With Attarintiki Daredi, I was pretty disappointed that he went full on commercial and I thought he lost some of his touch. That changed a bit with Son of Satyamurthy (but I feel like a majority of the reason that I liked that movie is bc of Allu Arjun lol). But yeah anyway, A…Aa is still a very commercial movie, its not in any way niche. However, I think Trivikram finally struck the balance of substance and commerciality which made it an entertaining movie while also leaving you with something to think about. The story was actually very simple and something that’s definitely been done before, but the screenplay had Trivikram’s name all over it. It was apparent in every single dialogue. He also pulled out some spectacular performances that were subdued but well done. I remember Samantha saying in an interview that because this is Trivikram’s third movie with her, he knows when she’s reusing an expression which forced her to improve her performance. When the movie was announced, I was kind of disappointed that Nithiin was in it because he’s never been a favorite of mine but I fell in love with him after this. I think in a lot of his movies he tries to do the typical commercial hero act and its obvious that he borrows heavily from Pawan Kalyan’s style. But in this his characterization was very subdued and painted him as  a common guy which made him a lot more likable. It was also easier to ship the lead pair because the star aura tends to overshadow the chemistry but here I was really able to see the characters instead of the actors behind them. I just wished the story was more unique but otherwise a really good movie!

Okka Ammayi Thappa - Sundeep really needs to promote his movies more because they always seem to go under the radar. I was actually really excited for this because Sundeep & Nithya as the lead pair. I’m pretty sure its one of those movies that takes place in the span of a single day which I love bc if you can stretch a day into a full film, its gotta be one hell of a day. Not sure if this was a hit or not but I definitely want to check it out once its online.

Gentleman – (Spoiler Free). This was pretty good! A nice balance of romance and suspense. The story was intriguing and the performances were well done. I didn’t like the comedy though. The situational humor was fine but I hated the comedy track and I felt like it made the movie so much slower than it needed to be.

Oka Manasu - I was so hyped for this cause I love Naga Shourya and Niharika but apparently this was very slow and boring. I hope this doesn’t discourage Niharika from doing more movies because tollywood really needs some actual telugu actresses. (Side Note: Allu Arjun’s speech at this movie’s audio launch !! He basically called out the PK fans in a long 10 mins lecture and it gave me lifeee)

Pelli Choopulu - FAVE!!! Truly a new age rom com. I watched this in a theater in India and I loved it! The story was fresh, engaging, and hilarious. I loved how the characters were very realistic and reflective of actual youth and not hero-like at all. Also s/o for the strong female characterization !! You go Chitra! I think it did an amazing job of combining comedy, romance, social issues, and emotion into a very believable and enjoyable film. And not to forget the music which is so so good. Also, I’m gonna quote this movie in my grave. 

Manamantha - I looove movies that have multiple inter-related stories. The four characters and their respective stories were written well with each character tackling a unique situation. Overall, I liked it, but it definitely could have been better.

Srirasthu Subhamastu - I watched this in India and it was nice to see it on the big screen because the best part of this movie was the grandeur of production. Starring in a movie produced by your father clearly has its perks. I don’t really care about Allu Sirish but he’s still pretty new so to be fair he was pretty good in this. The story is very very routine and predictable but I remember liking the dialogues

Babu Bangaram - I don’t think this was a hit? But fiiinally, Venky in a movie that’s not a remake, which ofc didn’t last long cause his next is a remake smh. 

Janatha Garage - This movie was apparently the biggest hit of 2016 in terms of box office and imo its not deserving. The trailer for this movie made it seem really good but it was a disappointment in the end. The thing with Koratala Siva’s movies is that he always has a good social message but then commercializes it way too much. I understand what he’s trying to do but I wish he’d cut down on the violence and focus on the actual issue. This couldve been a really amazing movie about environmentalism but it turned into something really routine. Im also annoyed that a stellar cast of NTR, Mohanlal, Samantha, and Nithya was wasted on such a mediocre movie.

Jo Achyutananda - This was pretty good. As per the director’s style, it was very simple with life-like characters. The story was very interesting but I thought it was pretty anti-climactic and definitely could have been taken to another level. S/o for Nani’s cameo towards the end which sadly was the only male eye candy (sorrynotsorry).

Majnu -  Even though this is Nani’s movie and I usually have high expectations for his movies, I didn’t expect much from this. The movie didn’t offer anything spectacular. The plot started off pretty interesting but then went the routine rom- com path. It gets a fair share of laughs and the music is fabulous but otherwise underwhelming.

Abhinetri - I haven’t seen this yet and I don’t really care tbh but I’ll probably watch it eventually.

Mana Oori Ramayanam - This seems really interesting from the trailer. Definitely a niche film and I don’t think it did well commercially but I want to see it.

Premam - What do I say about this that won’t get me hate lmao. I haven’t seen this yet but it received pretty good reviews as well as commercial success. I don’t support remakes ofc but I know I’ll end up watching this eventually. I’m glad that Naga Chaitanya is back on track again ?

Saahasam Swasaga Saagipo - I really want to watch this because romance + thriller is my faaave. I don’t think this was that big of a hit but Im still excited to see it. The album is amazing and I assume the bgm will be as well. Also s/o for Naga Chaitanya’s look in this movie which is his best yet imo. Is it just me or has he become so much more attractive now that he’s unavaible lol.

Ekkadiki Pothavu Chinnavada - I haven’t seen this yet, but heard that it was really good! Seems like another Karthikeya-type movie? Who would’ve guessed that Nikhil would be most successful actor from the Happy Days gang (besides tamanna ofc).

Jayammbu Nishchayambu Raa - same as above ^, haven’t seen, heard it was good.Other than that, I’m glad a small film got acclaim.

Dhruva - How much credit can you give to a remake ? I haven’t seen this or the original but I know I’ll probably like it. 

Overall I think 2016 was a pretty good year for movies with many of the successes coming from small budget films which seems to be an increasing trend in Tollywood. The fact that Sardaar Gabbar Singh and Brahmotsavam were total box office disasters even though they starred arguably the two biggest stars in TFI shows that the majority of audiences crave content over star power which I’m all here for! 

[wineanddinosaur]

We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now?

It’s somewhat mind-bending to think that a beverage that has been around for centuries is capable of being trendy. However it leads us to question, what is it about our current state of the industry that’s pushing winemakers to go beyond the norm?

Beyond the desire to improve the quality and ethics of both farming and winemaking, consumer-driven trends have edged (or in some cases bulldozed) their way into the market. Over the past decade, trendy wines like Apothic — with high alcohol and high residual sugar — have been purchased by the caseload. We’ve all had our curiosities about orange and even blue wine. And more recently, wine in a can seems to be a sustainable and effective solution to many producers’ packaging woes.

Trends come and go, but movements shape our future. With input from wine professionals across the world, our list of the best wine trends right now showcases a handful of both.

The Best Trends in Wine Right Now, According to Wine Pros:

Alternative packaging

Winemaking using native fruits and plants

Earth-friendly wines

Indigenous grape varieties

White Bordeaux

Alcohol-free wine

Sustainable winemaking

Mindful farming

Virtual wine education

Drinking Champagne with everything

Celebrating women winemakers

Keep reading for details about all the best trends in wine right now!

“One of my favorite trends in wine right now is alternative packaging, both in format and tone. From environmentally friendly bag-in-a-box, to conveniently canned Lambrusco, we’re stripping away the fancy veneer of wine. Where labels once endeavored to portray some idyllic chateau, we now see the use of irony, humor, and esoteric art to convey a sense of attitude, confidence, and authenticity. Wine as punk rock, everyday grocery. Do I still sound like I’m in my 20s?” — Matthew Landry, sommelier, educator, judge, importer, Tannin Management Ltd/The Living Vine BC, Vancouver, Canada

“Wine beyond the grape: co-ferments, multi-fruit wines, herbal infusions, perennial beverages. We have a dated devotion to the hero-worship of wine variety and have built monoculture empires around one species of fruit. We have to imagine for a second that if we brought polyculture to the glass and this was the norm, how a young aspiring winemaker might approach raw land — truly asking the right questions about what native flora might want to be there (or be left there). How they might restore woodland habitats of land in disrepair instead of clearing forests for a grape plantation. Imagine how the foraging movement could be bolstered, how produce farmers might be supplemented through potential collaboration. Imagine what wild concoctions might arise from above and below 30 and 50 degrees latitude. Haitian wine? I’m in.” — Brian McClintock, owner, Viticole Wines, White Salmon, Wash.

“The wine trend I’m enjoying seeing grow is ‘earth-friendly’ wines. Seeing more sustainable, organic, and biodynamic producers on our store shelves and in our restaurants — that includes natural wine, although trickier to spot since there is no certification for them yet — as well as the rise in popularity of canned wines. Wines that come in convenient cans like Coke certainly have no business aging in your wine cellar, but they have a much smaller carbon footprint than the average cheap and cheerful bottle of wine. Hey, if I am on an outdoor adventure enjoying this glorious world, then a can of wine is a great companion. Like many modern consumers out there, I try to be as environmentally conscientious as possible to help keep the ‘green guilt’ at bay, and it is wonderful to see the wine world providing ‘earth-friendly’ options.” — Lesley Quinn, Owner and Operator of Stellar Somm Wine Experts, Prince Edward Island, Canada

“Right now, the biggest trend I see (at least in Spain) is a renewed focus on indigenous grape varieties.“ — Rick Fisher, Spanish wine scholar, education director, Wine Scholar Guild, San Diego

“I’m loving the rediscovery of white Bordeaux. The intertwining of namely Sauvignon Blanc, Semillon, and Muscadelle (plus the other white varieties) has created so many mouthwatering expressions. For those who love Burgundy, the rich and creamy aged whites from Pessac-Léognan only continue to impress — so much texture and mouthfeel — and they truly do stand the test of time. If New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio are your things, then you could dip your toe into Entre-Deux-Mers, which has some incredibly crisp, fruit-forward styles to explore. Honestly, every week I find myself discovering a new favorite.” — Aidy Smith, co-founder, director and presenter, The Three Drinkers, London

“I love seeing more and more alcohol-free, quality wines from well-renowned wineries and winemakers on the market. It’s the industry’s answer to continuing to provide elevated dining experiences while keeping our guests and bosses happy in an increasingly health-conscious atmosphere. I can still go to the table with a beautiful bottle and story in hand, and the wine still has the peaks, valleys, tang, and depth that make it the perfect companion to food — just without the hangover, guilt, or sacrifice.” — Candace Olsen, sommelier, educator, consultant, VintageRed, NYC

“Sustainability would be one of the best trends I’ve seen in wine. It has gone from being a niche and small movement to a global phenomenon — with some countries even aiming for 100 percent sustainability, like New Zealand. While sustainability has a broad definition, from environmental to social, the important facet is that wineries are moving from regular chemical inputs to more organic and holistic ways of working in the vineyard. [I believe this] produces better grapes and, in turn, better wines — and even more importantly, an improved future for our planet and industry.” — Nupur Gogia, MW Student, founder of Vinequity, and wine agent TWC Imports, Toronto

“My favorite trend in the wine world of late is the genuine interest in mindful farming. Up and down the supply chain — from the vineyard to the end consumer — there has been an evolution in focus. When I first started in this business, few people had heard of biodynamics. These days, I have servers and bartenders fluent in the differences between sustainable, organic, and biodynamic farming. We have guests asking about regenerative agriculture and reps volunteering facts about irrigation, tilling, and so forth. Here’s hoping this isn’t a fleeting trend, but a sign of where the industry is headed.” — Eduardo Porto Carreiro, Beverage Director, Rocket Farm Restaurants, Atlanta

“Since the start of the pandemic, I have been performing Instagram virtual wine tastings and doing live interviews with diverse winemakers, producers, and wine professionals. I truly believe wine helps to express diversity and that it’s meant to be shared with everyone. We all grow along with it. In my humble opinion, the message of wine has improved tremendously in the past year. To know that via social media I am reaching out to lots of different people across the globe about a cool Syrah made in Morocco, or a refreshing Portuguese sparkling red, speaks volumes to me.” — Bruno Almeida, sommelier and wine educator, NYC

“I think one of my favorite wine trends now is one of the oldest:  Drink Champagne with everything! Champagne is the universal wine, with the ability to pair with everything from potato chips to oysters to ribeyes. I’m convinced the U.K., the Canadian Maritimes, and other similar climatic regions will soon produce some of the best sparkling wines in the world. When I opened Bar Von Der Fels, a third of the list was sparkling wine. I remember getting excited about Arianna Occhipinti’s wines a decade ago; they were fun and different. Fast forward seven to eight years, and we are finally getting excited about women winemakers and minorities in the winemaking world. I love what I’m seeing (and drinking!), and I hope we see a lot more Ariannas around the globe who are making exciting new wines and leading the way for other young women in the wine scene.” — Will Trow, Owner, Bar Von der Fels, Calgary, Canada

The article We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/wa-wine-pros-best-trends/

[johnboothus]

We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now?

It’s somewhat mind-bending to think that a beverage that has been around for centuries is capable of being trendy. However it leads us to question, what is it about our current state of the industry that’s pushing winemakers to go beyond the norm?

Beyond the desire to improve the quality and ethics of both farming and winemaking, consumer-driven trends have edged (or in some cases bulldozed) their way into the market. Over the past decade, trendy wines like Apothic — with high alcohol and high residual sugar — have been purchased by the caseload. We’ve all had our curiosities about orange and even blue wine. And more recently, wine in a can seems to be a sustainable and effective solution to many producers’ packaging woes.

Trends come and go, but movements shape our future. With input from wine professionals across the world, our list of the best wine trends right now showcases a handful of both.

The Best Trends in Wine Right Now, According to Wine Pros:

Alternative packaging

Winemaking using native fruits and plants

Earth-friendly wines

Indigenous grape varieties

White Bordeaux

Alcohol-free wine

Sustainable winemaking

Mindful farming

Virtual wine education

Drinking Champagne with everything

Celebrating women winemakers

Keep reading for details about all the best trends in wine right now!

“One of my favorite trends in wine right now is alternative packaging, both in format and tone. From environmentally friendly bag-in-a-box, to conveniently canned Lambrusco, we’re stripping away the fancy veneer of wine. Where labels once endeavored to portray some idyllic chateau, we now see the use of irony, humor, and esoteric art to convey a sense of attitude, confidence, and authenticity. Wine as punk rock, everyday grocery. Do I still sound like I’m in my 20s?” — Matthew Landry, sommelier, educator, judge, importer, Tannin Management Ltd/The Living Vine BC, Vancouver, Canada

“Wine beyond the grape: co-ferments, multi-fruit wines, herbal infusions, perennial beverages. We have a dated devotion to the hero-worship of wine variety and have built monoculture empires around one species of fruit. We have to imagine for a second that if we brought polyculture to the glass and this was the norm, how a young aspiring winemaker might approach raw land — truly asking the right questions about what native flora might want to be there (or be left there). How they might restore woodland habitats of land in disrepair instead of clearing forests for a grape plantation. Imagine how the foraging movement could be bolstered, how produce farmers might be supplemented through potential collaboration. Imagine what wild concoctions might arise from above and below 30 and 50 degrees latitude. Haitian wine? I’m in.” — Brian McClintock, owner, Viticole Wines, White Salmon, Wash.

“The wine trend I’m enjoying seeing grow is ‘earth-friendly’ wines. Seeing more sustainable, organic, and biodynamic producers on our store shelves and in our restaurants — that includes natural wine, although trickier to spot since there is no certification for them yet — as well as the rise in popularity of canned wines. Wines that come in convenient cans like Coke certainly have no business aging in your wine cellar, but they have a much smaller carbon footprint than the average cheap and cheerful bottle of wine. Hey, if I am on an outdoor adventure enjoying this glorious world, then a can of wine is a great companion. Like many modern consumers out there, I try to be as environmentally conscientious as possible to help keep the ‘green guilt’ at bay, and it is wonderful to see the wine world providing ‘earth-friendly’ options.” — Lesley Quinn, Owner and Operator of Stellar Somm Wine Experts, Prince Edward Island, Canada

“Right now, the biggest trend I see (at least in Spain) is a renewed focus on indigenous grape varieties.“ — Rick Fisher, Spanish wine scholar, education director, Wine Scholar Guild, San Diego

“I’m loving the rediscovery of white Bordeaux. The intertwining of namely Sauvignon Blanc, Semillon, and Muscadelle (plus the other white varieties) has created so many mouthwatering expressions. For those who love Burgundy, the rich and creamy aged whites from Pessac-Léognan only continue to impress — so much texture and mouthfeel — and they truly do stand the test of time. If New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc or Pinot Grigio are your things, then you could dip your toe into Entre-Deux-Mers, which has some incredibly crisp, fruit-forward styles to explore. Honestly, every week I find myself discovering a new favorite.” — Aidy Smith, co-founder, director and presenter, The Three Drinkers, London

“I love seeing more and more alcohol-free, quality wines from well-renowned wineries and winemakers on the market. It’s the industry’s answer to continuing to provide elevated dining experiences while keeping our guests and bosses happy in an increasingly health-conscious atmosphere. I can still go to the table with a beautiful bottle and story in hand, and the wine still has the peaks, valleys, tang, and depth that make it the perfect companion to food — just without the hangover, guilt, or sacrifice.” — Candace Olsen, sommelier, educator, consultant, VintageRed, NYC

“Sustainability would be one of the best trends I’ve seen in wine. It has gone from being a niche and small movement to a global phenomenon — with some countries even aiming for 100 percent sustainability, like New Zealand. While sustainability has a broad definition, from environmental to social, the important facet is that wineries are moving from regular chemical inputs to more organic and holistic ways of working in the vineyard. [I believe this] produces better grapes and, in turn, better wines — and even more importantly, an improved future for our planet and industry.” — Nupur Gogia, MW Student, founder of Vinequity, and wine agent TWC Imports, Toronto

“My favorite trend in the wine world of late is the genuine interest in mindful farming. Up and down the supply chain — from the vineyard to the end consumer — there has been an evolution in focus. When I first started in this business, few people had heard of biodynamics. These days, I have servers and bartenders fluent in the differences between sustainable, organic, and biodynamic farming. We have guests asking about regenerative agriculture and reps volunteering facts about irrigation, tilling, and so forth. Here’s hoping this isn’t a fleeting trend, but a sign of where the industry is headed.” — Eduardo Porto Carreiro, Beverage Director, Rocket Farm Restaurants, Atlanta

“Since the start of the pandemic, I have been performing Instagram virtual wine tastings and doing live interviews with diverse winemakers, producers, and wine professionals. I truly believe wine helps to express diversity and that it’s meant to be shared with everyone. We all grow along with it. In my humble opinion, the message of wine has improved tremendously in the past year. To know that via social media I am reaching out to lots of different people across the globe about a cool Syrah made in Morocco, or a refreshing Portuguese sparkling red, speaks volumes to me.” — Bruno Almeida, sommelier and wine educator, NYC

“I think one of my favorite wine trends now is one of the oldest:  Drink Champagne with everything! Champagne is the universal wine, with the ability to pair with everything from potato chips to oysters to ribeyes. I’m convinced the U.K., the Canadian Maritimes, and other similar climatic regions will soon produce some of the best sparkling wines in the world. When I opened Bar Von Der Fels, a third of the list was sparkling wine. I remember getting excited about Arianna Occhipinti’s wines a decade ago; they were fun and different. Fast forward seven to eight years, and we are finally getting excited about women winemakers and minorities in the winemaking world. I love what I’m seeing (and drinking!), and I hope we see a lot more Ariannas around the globe who are making exciting new wines and leading the way for other young women in the wine scene.” — Will Trow, Owner, Bar Von der Fels, Calgary, Canada

The article We Asked Wine Pros: What Are the Best Trends in Wine Right Now? appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/wa-wine-pros-best-trends/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/we-asked-wine-pros-what-are-the-best-trends-in-wine-right-now