#bc we co-wrote it <3

[raayllum]

s5 really was the “in search of silver linings” long con. rayllum combining their attacks together with weapons and magic; rayllum being captured and callum getting tortured with electricity; the last minute love confessions when you think you aren’t getting out alive; morning person Callum and disgruntled Rayla; holding hands to reassure her as they go into the water; and most surprisingly of all, dark magic /aaravos having their roots in something akin to literal cannibalism. 

[charmac]

how’s the sugar fic going i’m trying so so hard to be so patient and good

I’m so proud of you for being patient you’re doing a great job.

It’s coming along, still got a chunk to write though, there’s some interesting things in this chapter that are taking me some time to get down… as well as just, you know, general life distractions

But this counts as research, okay?

[beauzos]

getting to a point in SOBR where i don't precisely know how to execute what needs to be done... i generally know what should be done, and where we're going, i just don't entirely know how to get there.

[mystic-writings]

emergency contact | jack hodgins

pairing — jack hodgins x fem!booth!reader

summary — hodgins hasn’t heard from you in over six months, after you broke up with him and disappeared. until he gets an alarming phone call in the middle of the night

warnings — angst, canon-typical violence, mentions of death

word count — 2,528

notes — a few things: i wrote this back in january, and it was rushed and poorly done but im being self-indulgent for this one | also im not tagging anyone bc i wanna see how far this will get on its own (except for my beloved @shmaptainwrites who indulged me ily mimi)

masterlist | navigation

2:47am

Despite his many years working for the Jeffersonian, Hodgins had yet to get used to his phone ringing at odd hours. With a groan and a stretch, his palm landed where his phone lay on the nightstand table. Without checking the caller ID, he picked up the phone and slurred out a tired greeting to the caller on the other line.

“Hello, Dr. Hodgins, I’m Marie, calling from the George Washington University Hospital.” Why was a hospital calling him so late at night? “You’re listed as the emergency contact for Y/n Booth, correct?”

Your name sent a shock through Jack’s body. “I— I guess so, yeah. Why? Is she okay?”

“Your fiancée was shot on duty, sir. She’s in surgery right now. We suggest you be with her when she wakes up.”

Without a second thought, Jack hung up the phone and flung out of bed. He didn’t care how things ended between the two of you, good or bad, but he knew one thing for certain: he needed to make sure you were okay. After scrambling for a decent set of clothing and his car keys, Jack rushed out of the house and down the near-empty streets to the hospital you were taken to. 

Even though his mind was running at a mile a minute, Jack managed to recall what the nurse had told him. Shot on duty. You took a sabbatical seven months ago, were you back in town? Surely Booth must’ve known, he was your brother and co-worker, he had to have. Did he spare telling Jack to avoid the inevitable turmoil? Obviously you’d been back long enough to take a case, so it wasn’t like you had decided to come back out of the blue. 

By the time he found parking, it was half past 3 in the morning, and Jack’s heart refused to stop beating out of his chest, his palms sweating rivers as he clenched and unclenched them. Despite all of this, though, he approached the front desk with a cracking resolve, trying his best to be put together for the sake of not distressing the night staff and lingering patient family members. 

“Could you tell me where Y/n Booth is?”

The nurse behind the counter glanced up at him. “Connection to the patient?”

“I’m her-” he stumbled on the words. “Her, uh, fiancé. Emergency contact.” 

She typed a few things into the computer when a voice from behind caught Jack’s attention. 

“Hodgins.” Booth called, approaching with a weary face and a cup of likely burnt coffee.

Jack nearly sprinted over to the man, blue eyes frantically searching for answers in his features. “What’s up, man? I mean, what the hell happened?”

Booth took Hodgins by the arm and led him down a hallway, over to the elevators. “We were going after a perp. I told her not to go in first, that I’d handle the hard part. She didn’t listen, the bastard got her from behind, shot out one of her kidneys. Been in surgery for almost,” he checked his watch, “three hours now.” 

Jack deflated just as the elevator doors dinged open. The pair stepped inside, the space empty apart from themselves. “I just— I don’t get it. Yesterday, she was somewhere even I didn’t know, taking some damn sabbatical. Yesterday, I was still pissed at her. Now? She’s in surgery because she was on a case. Because some asshole shot her. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do with that, Booth?”

Unable to provide any kind of emotional support or response, Booth remained quiet as his friend tried his best not to break down in the elevator. 

When the doors opened, Jack attempted to regain his composure as best as he could while Booth led him down the hall. There was a separate waiting room here, for family members who had someone in surgery. He sat opposite Booth, next to a sleeping little girl and her obviously exhausted mother. 

He had no bearing of the passage of time, and felt as though there was no energy left within him to check the watch on his wrist. All he did was sit with his hands on his knees, head tilted to the sky, one leg bouncing like an infinite rubber ball. At some point, a doctor came out to notify the mother of her husband’s successful surgery — his tumor was gone, he’d told her, and there was little chance of it coming back. 

It wasn’t until the sun started to peek in through the waiting room windows that a surgeon called out your name. Booth had been asleep in the chair across from Jack, but he was wide awake. The pair jumped up and approached the doctor, throwing questions at him rapidly. 

“Y/n is okay. Surgery went well, though we’ll have to keep her here for longer than expected.”

“Why? What happened?” Booth asked. 

The doctor sighed. “Due to the location of the entry wound, the bullet caused too much damage to her right kidney. For now, she’ll only be functioning with one until we can find a donor match. She’ll be on dialysis weekly and some medication to assist the working kidney, but otherwise, she’ll be just fine in a week or so. The bullet did puncture the liver and small intestine, but the speed of the bullet slowed enough to only cause minor damage, nothing we couldn’t fix up.” He told them, and a wave of relief crashed over the pair. “She’s being brought up to her room now, if you’d like to go wait with her.”

Jack only nodded, Booth trailing him as the doctor led them up one more floor, where you were being transferred to the ICU. It was painful, seeing you after so  long, only for you to be hooked up to so many machines, laying nearly helpless in a bed. He pulled a chair up to your right side, reaching for your limp hand to hold, hoping you could feel him. 

Hoping you knew he was there. That you knew he always would be.

Booth leaned against the door frame, watching everything with anguish. After you left for California, you kept in constant contact with your older brother. But even in those months, you never explained why you broke off the engagement so suddenly. Why you took a surprise sabbatical, why you went to California specifically. Why you became so closed off, so cold to everyone, even to Parker. 

After a while, Booth left Jack alone to go pick up Parker from his mother’s house. He promised to be back later, your nephew in tow, and pressed a featherlight kiss to your forehead before he left. 

Jack, swimming in an ocean’s worth of thought, barely noticed the sun coming over the horizon in the window opposite him. All he could do was process the emotions flowing through him. Anger, that you left him so suddenly and without explanation. Despair, that you’d come back so long ago and didn’t come to see him, to work things out. Worry, that despite your life-saving surgery, you wouldn’t get a new kidney, or that you’d never be the same again. Anger again, but at the bastard who shot you. Triumph, that he was rotting in a cell right now. 

 Jack’s only comfort in the sterile, whitewashed room was the steady beeping emanating from the heart monitor, a small assurance that you were okay. His hand remained clasped over yours for hours, thumb stroking the smooth skin on the back of your hand. Partly as a comfort to himself that you were still there, but mostly, he believed, a comfort to you. He hoped you could feel it; that you could feel his presence. He hoped his presence comforted you. 

By the time you woke up, all the worry had faded from Jack’s body and exhaustion had taken its place. He was asleep, head supported by his arm on the side of the chair, when he heard the sheets rustle in the bed. 

Somehow, in all your years of work, this was the first time you ended up in the hospital due to a job-related injury. It wasn’t the first time you woke up dazed after a surgery with little memory of how you got there, though. 

The sheets, despite being thin, weighed down your legs and torso, providing warmth and comfort. You could feel the leads for the heart monitor stuck to your chest, irritating your skin in the slightest bit. There was a cannula feeding oxygen into your system, though it rubbed the skin on the back of your ears uncomfortably. The main thing, though, was that your torso hurt. 

Despite that, you managed to notice something weighing down your right hand. It was warm, warmer than the blankets. And heavier. Garnering the courage to open your eyes, you blinked to adjust to the sunlight and fluorescent lights, trying to shift yourself upward, wincing when it pulled on your wound. Instead, you glanced over at your hand, only to find another on top of it. Following the arm connected to it, your heart stuttered and cracked when you found a sleeping Hodgins sitting next to your bed. Emotion swelled within your chest and tear ducts just at the sight of him, sleeping so peacefully next to you, his hand over yours in a firm grasp, as if that was the only thing that assured him that you were really here. 

Slowly, quietly, you tried to pull your hand out from under Jack’s, only for the movement to wake him up. He stretched with a deep inhale, blinking rapidly as he took in his surroundings. It wasn’t until he noticed you were awake that he seemed to come to his senses. 

“Hey,” he nearly whispered. “How’re you feeling?”

You bit back a scoff. “Terrible. First job back and of course I had to get myself shot.” 

Jack fought a smile, scooting forward to raise the bed up for you to sit properly. “They said they got all the fragments of the bullet during surgery. You’re down a kidney for now, though.”

You only nodded, allowing yourself some time to gather your thoughts. “Why are you here, Hodgins?”

“Apparently, I’m still your emergency contact.” He told you, sitting back down and resting his elbows on his knees. “And apparently, I still care about you enough to show up.” 

“Don’t put that on me.” You whispered, chest restricting as tears fought their way back to your waterline. “You can’t say that to me. Not after what I did to you. You should hate me. I mean, really hate me. Like, praying for my downfall, kind of hate. You shouldn’t still care about me.”

“Well, apparently I do. I thought I hated you, for a long time. But I guess I don’t.” Jack sighed,  taking your hand. You wanted to protest, to pull away, but you let him. “I guess this was a wakeup call for me. Literally. They called me at 3 in the morning to tell me you were in surgery.”

You laughed, a wet sound underlined with sadness. “I’m sorry, Jack. Really, I am. I just…”

“What, don’t love me? It’s okay. I’ve learned to live with it.” 

Even when he should hate you, Jack still understood, and even worse, he still loved you. He was, somehow, the world’s most understanding man. God, you love him. 

“No, no I don’t hate you. Actually, it’s the opposite. I just wish things could’ve gone differently.” 

Now Jack was just confused. “What d’you mean? You broke up with me for a reason, right? You told me you didn’t love me anymore.”

“It’s too complicated, Jack. I want to explain it all to you, really, but it’s not safe. I don’t know if or when it will be, and I won’t blame you if you want to find someone else, or if you already have. You deserve to be happy, Jack. You should move on from me.” 

“I don’t want anyone else.” Jack said, emphasizing each word and squeezing your hand. “I just want you. From the moment I met you, I knew you were it for me, Y/n. Even with your brother breathing down my neck to not even think about pursuing our relationship. It was terrifying, but I ignored it. Because you were too important to have in my life. I couldn’t risk passing you up. I just don’t understand why you ended things so suddenly.”

The tears that you had been attempting to keep at bay for this entire conversation now flowed freely down your cheeks, the emotions you’d kept close to your chest for nearly a year now breaking free. Jack, like the gentleman he was, gently tilted your head toward him, reaching up and using the pads of his thumbs to brush them from your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered, daring to look him in the eye. 

“Don’t be.” He whispered. 

“I have to be. I hurt you. I ruined everything. And it wasn’t even worth it. It  didn’t change anything.”

Despite his confusion, Jack said nothing. He simply stood to his full height and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling you into his chest — minding your wounds and stroking your hair. “It’s okay. You’re home now. We can fix this.”

“No we can’t.” You shook your head, looking up at him. “Jack, there’s nothing left to fix. Because if we fix it, you’ll die.” 

After what felt like an eternity of swirling, spiraling thoughts, Jack found his voice. “What?”

“That’s why I left.” You said. “I was ordered to. I was working on a case, some underground organized crime syndicate. I found out some stuff I shouldn’t have. My hands were tied, I had no choice.” Choking back a sob, you wiped the tears from your face and took a breath. “It was either break up with you, call off the wedding, and leave, or everyone I loved would die. They were gonna kill you, kill Seeley and Parker, and drain your accounts. There was nothing I could do.” 

Jack pulled you in tighter, his whole worldview shifting and turning on an axis. He couldn’t speak — hell, he could barely even think right now. Jack had spent months grieving your relationship, questioning why you broke things off, harboring a ruthless anger at what his life had become, and all of it faded to dust in an instant. 

“I don’t know what to do,” you whispered, pulling Jack back to the present. “I work with these people, Jack. They could ruin me in an instant.” 

“We’ll fix this, I promise.” Jack declared, and despite the fear that had overridden your senses for the past few months, you couldn’t help but believe him. 

You only nodded, curling further into him as best as you could with your incisions. Fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie, you listened to the beat of his heart beneath you and took a deep breath. 

Soon enough, you were drifting off to sleep with the firm belief that soon enough, with the help of your family, somehow, everything would be okay. 

if you want more jack fics, please feel free to comment and let me know!! writing for smaller characters is always a gamble but if people read this i’d be more than happy to do so!

[romanarose]

If You Wanna Be Wild: Chapter 6

Co-written with @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction my beloved Fen, who I could not do this without. Thank you for being my emotional sounding board, my dear friend, my wonderful cowriter and helpful beta reader. I adore you.

Javier Peña x Latina!sex worker!informant!Reader x Santiago Garcia

Join my general tag list (Comment to join the tag list for this fic)

Triple Frontier Master List

Spotify Playlist

Series Masterlist : Read on AO3

Summary: Santi takes Candy out, and Javier gets jealous, but still he defends them both. Drama erupts, and Santi finds something out about himself.

Content and warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter unless something is added: Sex work, drug trade, some drug use/pressured used, sex workers and the mistreatment/stigma surrounding them specifically in the 70’s (my blog is sex worker positive) but ima put potential dub con depending how you look at it as a sex worker who works with dangerous men, some action surrounding reader and the guys and the drug trade, SMUT HEAVY, corruption kink (were corrupting santi here, he’s young, 25), no loss of virginity tho, threesomes, some slight m/m smut but that’s not the focus here, but as you know this blog is an lgbt blog so I’m always open to gay shit. Talk of war and some PTSD but I won't be going a whole lot into it. Covert/emotional incest in the past, Santi's mommy issues, m/m dynamics, internalized bi/homophobia

For the record, this is a fic that takes place in the drug trade and deals with the darker side of humanity, so anything from Narco's and Triple Frontier is liable to be discussed or mentioned here. This is your warning. This is not a dark fic nor is it centered around dark themes like Leather and Lace or Sunshine Starlight Sweetheart Brightside, but they are open to be talked about.

Reader has a nick name: Candy. Not her real name just what she goes by on her profession. Much of the inspo for this and for the title came from the Bruce Springsteen song “Candy’s room” so check it out for the vibes.

Reader speaks Spanish and has hair. I've decided Candy is just latina bc she's a sex worker in Colombia so this is what I'm doing. Reader also has curly hair and dark skin.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS!: Santi's panicy trauma response. Santi's mommy issues in full swing. Javier is jealous, lots of arguments. Cumming untouched, titty sucking. We're in for it boys!

THE SMUT WAS 100% WRITTEN BY THE AMAZING @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction i knew i needed mommy kink and he was the one to go to. If you like subby men, Fen, my dearest cowritter, writes great fics esp with Steven Grant <3 What Fen said when they wrote it "Yoooooo, what am I writing Romana? Madness? I think so."

6.7 words (I'm so fucking sorry okay A LOT WAS HAPPENING)

A/N Since I am apparently an incomprehensible writer, please know that the smut scene in the last chapter was not a threesome, it's Javi fingering Candy and Candy flashing back to her giving Santi a reach around handjob. I wanted to compare and contrast the way the two pairs care for and pleasure each other. but it came across as a threesome :(

Support writers! Reblog and comment!

***************

Santiago didn’t know why he was so nervous.

“What we need is to get out into the actual field!” Javier exclaimed, setting his mug down loud enough to make Santi jump. “Sorry, Garcia.” He muttered, wiping a bit of spilled coffee with his sleeve.

Santiago rolled his shoulders, reaching back to rub his spine over the scar. The surgery saved his life, but damn did it hurt. “S’alright. Listen, I had an idea, but I don’t know if it’s going to be anything. It does get us out of the office next week.”

“I’ll take it, what do you have, Pope.”

Santi smiled. “Well, the nickname is fitting. It’s a rally for the beatification of Laura Montoya.”

A smile quirked up on Javier’s grumpy face. Unbuckling his belt after a second round of stress donuts, Javi kicked his legs up on his desk. “Of course you would know that.”

“My tia invited me.” He shoved Javi’s boots off, then wiped his hands on his pants. “We know what his family looks like now, maybe they will be there? It’s something.”

Javier agreed, it was something. Tracking Lorea had not gone as well as Escabar had. Not that that was a flawless mission itself, but at least it had traction. Martin Lorea was far less public.

The pair settled into an easy rhythm of planning the event. Santiago would have to avoid his tia’s, he thought. That may be hard, considering he had 4 and several cousins who will likely be attending the event. Colombia doesn’t have a canonized saint yet, and she was recognized as venerable so her potential beautification was a big deal for Colombia. Still, he couldn’t be recognized at the rally, his family would want to talk and talk and talk and ask why he didn’t have girlfriend and talk and ask who Javier was, and Tia Lupe would ask him if he had a ‘modern arrangement’ with Javier which would make Santi sick to his stomach with anxiety and- fuck he felt like the donut he stole from Javi was coming back up.

“Gotta go, be right back.”

“I’ll be timing you.” Javier kicked his legs back up on his desk and closed his eyes.

Over the toilet, Santi dry heaved, unsure if he was really going to puke or just felt like it. What the hell was it with Javier these days that made him so anxious? Things had been going well, their friendship repaired in the months since Javier caught him and Candy together. Other than Frankie, who would always be his number one, Javi was his best friend. He’d die for him the way he’d have died for Will, Frank or Ben… but there was something more. Since the day they met, Santiago wanted nothing more than Javier’s approval, he strived for it… maybe it was that he saw Javi as a father figure, almost 15 years older than him… that wasn’t right either. He couldn’t place it until earlier this week.

The DEA ball was coming up, Javier had asked Santi if he wanted to carpool since they both didn’t have dates and lived near-by… to which Santi said he actually had a date. She was a surprise. So was the fact Javier wanted to go.

The “Oh” that had fallen out of his mouth though Santiago off. It sounded disappointed. Santi couldn’t stand Javier disappointed in him. That’s when the thought happened. ‘I wish we could just go together’ Not arrive together. Go together. As a couple. His first thought was no, that’s illegal. His second thought was no, he’d go to hell. His third was him mami, god rest her soul, would roll over in her grave.

He shook the thoughts away, but ever since then he began noticing the way he stared at Javi, the way his body buzzed with any incidental touch… He had to shove it down.

Certainly, Javier was open-minded, but he would to spend as much time as he did with him if he was gay, right? He wouldn’t incite Santi over for futball games on the tv, he wouldn’t take him with him to get lunch… he wouldn’t even want to work with him. It would all be over.

That’s what made Santi sick.

That, and the anxiety over who his secret date was.

*

You didn’t know why you were so goddamn nervous.

You had to admit, you were very surprised when Santiago showed up for his regularly scheduled appointment, flowers in hand, asking you to join him at the ball.

“Santi… sweetie… I don’t know…”

His large eyes looked nervous. “It’s a job! I’ll pay you, I’m not expecting anything free! And I I know what you’re gonna say, I don’t care about Javi freaking out. Imean, if you care I don’t wanna pressure you of course! I’m not trying to come between you guys, but I doubt he’ll even show. He hates these things.”

“It’s not that I’m worried about…” You take the flowers, thanking him genuinely, and walking to your kitchen. Santiago anxiously paced your walls, trailing his hands over your posters. “Sweetheart, I know we have a good time, but I am a prostitute, you know this.”

“I swear, I don’t have any notions about us being in love… I just want you there.”

Placing the flowers in the vase, you turn to look at him. “I just… well…” You hesitate, unsure how to not freak the poor kid out. “oh my god, there's no polite way to say this, but, Javier is far from the only DEA agent I’ve slept with. Hell, I slept with the janitor once.”

“Mario’s a cool guy, I don’t blame you.”

“What I’m saying is,” She sighed out her words. “You’re a sweet young man, and I know you’re a lot younger than most of the guys there. I don’t want to cause you any trouble-”

“Candy-”

“And I know I’ll cause you trouble if I’m there. They are going to make fun of you for bringing a hooker to a ball.”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. There’s no one else I want there with me but you, and I don’t care what Javier says, or any of them for that matter.”

You smile softly at the young man. He was earnest, but although you believed he didn’t care about the other guys at the precinct, you didn’t believe him for one second about Javi. Santiago worshiped the ground Javier walked on, it was clear by the way he talked about his partner.

“If you really don’t care, then yes, I’d love to go.”

His youthful face lit up. “Really?!”

“Yes” You giggle. “It sounds like a great night.”

Santiago ran to you, making you squeal as he threw you over his shoulder. “I’m gonna make you cum so many fucking times on my face, Candy, you don’t even know.”

You had to admit you were a little nervous. A lot nervous. He said he didn't think Javier would be there, but you weren’t sure, and hadn’t had a chance to try and prod him for information. You’d asked around, and Javi had been spending several nights with Gabby. This was not unusual, he was known to bounce around women, but he always came back to you. Today, though, it made you jealous as all hell. Santiago made you nervous too.

You wanted to at least make a good impression for him, so you went out and bought a brand new evening gown for the occasion, something classy, showing the curves but not your tits. Your big Farrah Faucet curls that usually accompanied a night with Lorea and his men were dialed down more to a simple look, your make-up more natural that a night on the town with high rollers would see. Still you were beautiful and you knew it. Just less like a hooker.

*

Javier didn’t know why he was so fucking nervous. He never went to these stupid things, much preferring to spend a night undressed with his cock buried between a pretty woman’s legs than stuff himself into a suit that had only gotten tighter in recent years. But, Pope was gonna be there, he was gonna be dressed up in some overdone suite, Javi just knew it. And his stupid curls would be slicked back and inevitably a few would pop out and he’d spend the night trying to keep them back but they would want to be wild and he’d eventually mess with his hair too much and it’d be all every-which-way and, and, and…

So maybe he was late. So maybe he was a little tipsy. Maybe he had been taking pulls of a flask in the back of a taxi but there was coke baggie and a cum stain on the seat so was it really the worst the car had seen? He pulled up to the dance in his too-tight suit, stumbling out a bit, and attempted to find his way inside. He didn’t really want to see Santi dancing with a girl, but if he didn’t show, Santi would worry, and Javi didn’t like Santi worrying.

Javier hoped she was nice. A nice girl because he was a nice young man. Someone to take care of him in some ways, to let him care for her in others… Javi knew he could take care of Sant. He had when he was sick, hadn’t he? Therein lied the reason Javi was drunk. The burn of the liquor was to press down the feeling he couldn’t ignore sober. He wanted Santiago.

“Buenas noche, amigos. ¿Has visto Santiago?”

Javi asked as he stumbled on a few men from the DEA chattering in a corner

One of the men, Freddy, chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. “Oh, you haven't seen him yet?”

This caused all the men to laugh, but Javier didn’t get the joke. He got the feeling whatever it was, they were laughing at Santi. Javier knew Santi hadn’t really clicked with the men. He was too straight laced, too honest… too good.

“The fuck does that mean?” Javier asked with an obvious bit of bite. Santiago was his to protect.

“Young Garcia came here with a whore on his arm.” Another man, Josue, with a patchy mustache he should just call it quits on attempting to grow replies. “Wonder if he knows what she is, or if he’s going to wake up to a nasty bill in the morning.”

The group laughs, and Javier feels panic rising inside him. No. No way. Santiago couldn’t possibly be that stupid, could he? He was the smartest man Javier knew. He’d never risk her like this… 

Freddy continued when he saw Javi’s confused look. “Yeah, Pena, thats what I thought too!” He said with a laugh that Javier knew was not the good natured ribbing he gave Santi. “You know Candy?”

“Uh, yeah, sounds familiar.” The room was spinning, lights and smoke and colors starting to blur.

“The whore on 7th that lets you play rough? Yeah, her.”

Javier snapped to attention again. “What did you just say?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either!” He turns to another man Javier doesn’t have it in him to focus on. “I bet Virgin Maria thinks he’s in love.”

Grabbing him by the shoulder, Javier turned Freddy to him. “What the fuck did you say about Garcia?”

“Relaje, Pena. You call him Pope, different name, same meaning.”

But it wasn’t. Santi was Javi’s friend, Javier cared about him. Javier called him Pope to his face and if he thought it upset him, Javi wouldn’t do it. Freddy and the guys were calling him Virgin Maria behind his back, intending on being assholes. It was meant to hurt, it wasn’t true (Santi wasn’t a virgin even before Candy), it was meant to make a mockery of his good nature, his religion, and his morals. The effeminate name was meant to mock his slight build and stature as well as his passive nature. None of them knew the Santiago that Javier knew. They didn’t know the intelligent, compassionate, incredibly capable young former special opes agent who had saved his life multiple times and had given more break throughs on Lorea than he could could.

“Tell me again what you said about Candy.”

*

Despite the fact everyone was staring at them, you had never seen Santi so happy, so relaxed. He had a few drinks and for his small body it probably left him feeling warm and content. You had opted to stay mostly sober, only drinking one glass of white wine from the open bar; Santiago’s generous and soft smile to the bartender only endeared him to you more. 

He was so much fun like this. You loved the time you spent with him in bed, that was fun too, but you’d also come to genuinely enjoy the moments where he wasn’t making you orgasm on his lips again and again. You genuinely cared when you asked him about his day, and had made a mental note of all the names he mentioned at the precinct that were causing him problems that you recognized. You weren’t sure how without outting him, but you’d figure out some way to fuck with them. One who was a massive dick to him, Freddy, was also a massive dick to you too.

Santi was indulging in a cupcake, telling a story of his friend Benny hitting on a woman only to realize her husband was standing next to her.

“It took me, his brother Will, Fish and Redfly to break the fight up. He still won’t go in that neighborhood anymore!” Santi giggles, taking a bite of the vanilla.

You laugh along; he’s an entertaining story teller. “Did he learn his lesson?”

“No! No! That’s the best part!” Santi said as he waved his hands excitedly. “He immediately, and I mean as soon as we cleaned the blood off his face, went and hit on another girl! And you wanna know the worst part?”

“It worked?”

“It work- how did you know that?”

“Women are easy, Santi.” Swaying to the music, you set his cupcake down. He has frosting on his upper lip, just under where his mustache sat.. “We love our men bloodied.” You pull him in close, eyeing his upper lip for the frosting, but he looks like he’s going for a kiss, and who are you to deny such a handsome man?

“Even when they lose?” He speaks, voice soft and sultry. Santi’s eye flick to your lips, his own push pillows parting to receive you.

“Especially when they lose.” You close the gap, taking his lips in yours and licking your tongue over his sugar-covered upper lip, brushing over his mustache. Sweet, just like him. Your sweet man. 

For a moment, you are lost in him, the sounds of the Jim Croce floating in the air.

'Cause every time I tried to tell you

The words just came out wrong

So I'll have to say I love you in a song’

*

CRASH!

Immediately, at the sound of excitement, Santiago is in front of you, guarding your body with his. He doesn’t move, thinking clearly and assessing the situation; looking for where the danger is at and where the best exit points may be. Keep Candy safe. Keep Candy safe. His only goal was her, keep her away from any narcos, terrorists, freedom fighters or drunken men that might be causing a stir. When the center of the commotion was coming from the north, Santiago took Candy’s hand and began to take her to one of the south exits, a lesser used one with less potential for a second assailant, when he felt her tug away.

“JAVI!” She shouts, running towards the danger in high heels, rust colored skirt fluttering just as her flowy sleeves did.

“CANDY!” Running after her, he catches up with ease without the hindrance of heels. Santi tries to stop her, not wanting her near the drunken brawl, but she is on a single minded mission. Javier was under Freddy, who Santiago did not like, and getting the shit beat out of him. If he had a second more, if his focus wasn’t so on Candy, he would have beat her too it… but Candy was quicker

Santiago watches in surprise as she lifts her skirt, pulling a knife out of her garter, getting behind Freddy and gripping his hair hard, knife to his throat.

Everything was a deadly calm, everyone saying so, so still to not disturb the crazy woman with a knife. When Santi looked to Javier to check if he was okay, he saw Javi looking up at her with his big brown eyes, clearly fucking enamored.

“Freddy, get off of him before I tell everyone the weird shit you’re into.”

The next few minuets were a blur. As soon as Freddy was off Javier and Candy’s knife was off him, he was a big man again and the group began arguing. Santiago couldn’t quite pick up what it was about except “KEEP HIS NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” From Javi.

They were all three escorted out by security; weapons weren’t allowed at the ball.

Outside the doors, a second argument erupted.

Candy tried to approach Javier. “Javi, baby, are you-” But as her hands reached for his swollen face, the older agent stepped back and turned his attention to his mentee. “Are you fucking stupid, Garcia?!”

Santi and Candy both are taken aback by this, but it’s Candy that speaks first. “Don’t talk to him like that!” 

Javier’s anger is turned back to her. “And you! You should know better than this! Than coming here!”

She rolls her eyes. “Javi. It’s literally a part of my job, I’m an escort.”

“FOR DRUG DEALERS!” Javier shouts, throwing his hands in the air and stumbling back. “Not for YOU!”

“So what, he’s too good for me to take out? Dirty whore like me belongs in dirty nightclubs and dirty crackhouses?”

“Oh for fucks sake THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

Instinctively, Santi places himself slightly in front of Candy. “Tone it down, Pena.”

His icy glare turns condescending as a short, drunk, sardonic laugh escapes him. “HA! Do you think you’re in love, Santiago? Do you think you’ll be the magical man that can ‘save her’? That’s not how this works! You aren’t supposed to be bringing prostitutes to government functions, you absolute IDIOT! And you’re especially not supposed to bring HER!”

“ENOUGH!” Candy shouts at him, eyes flashing in anger. “You don’t get to tell him what he can and can’t do, Javi! And you certainly do not have possession over me! I am not yours! Just because we fuck does not mean you own me, and you don’t get to decide who I sleep with. Like you said, I am a prostitute, one of SEVERAL you frequent, so I wouldn’t be getting too high and mighty about being careful when everyone knows Helena nearly died working for you! I am not yours!”

Javier scoffs. “Oh, and he is? You think he’s your little lover boy, someone to play pretend that you are having a normal relationship with? He’s a scared child, he’s terrified of intimacy and thinks a finger in the ass will send him to hell!”

“Javier, fucking stop it right now.”

“He can’t protect you! He can’t take care of you!”

“Oh, and you can?”

“YES!”

Javier’s shouted words hung in the air, dripping with anger and venom. Santi simply watches, watches them like a scared child watching his parents fight, wishing it would just fucking stop, but it won’t. Not between them. Javier doesn’t back down and Candy isn’t scared of him.

Then, Candy starts to laugh. It’s short little laughs at first but grows louder. “Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME JAVI!” She laughs once more before shaking her head, tugging a bit at her hair as she walks a short circle. Candy shook her head, suddenly calm. “Thunder only happens when it’s raining, players only love you when they’re playing.”

Javi blinked, his voice now noticeably slurred. “What the actual fuck was that.”

Santi stepped up, sliding an arm around Candy’s waist. If she said what she wanted to say, he wanted to guide her away from Javier before he could be more hurtful to her. “It’s from Fleetwood Mac, Javi. You’d know that if you cared enough about her to look into her interests.”

Candy turned to him then, surprised, her soft eyes looking towards him; the hint of a smile on her face.

Javier, however, looked bewildered. “Her interests?You. Are not. DATING HER!”

“I still care about her!” Santiago defended himself. “Just because I’m not a sad slut who can’t emotionally attach to anyone anymore doesn’t mean I treat her like she’s not a person!”

Javier looked like he was about to speak, then shook his head. “This is fucking insane. This is not a Hollywood movie, there is no happy ending here, FUCK YOU GUYS and FUCK THE GODDAMN PRESINCT”

With that, Javier stormed off, angrily mumbling about one thing or another and his broad form shrunk down the street.

It was then Santi felt her begin to shake. Thinking quick, he took off his sports coat and wrapped it around her. “Hey, hey bebita,¿Estás bien?”

“Si” She shook her head a bit, then turned to him with an irritated look “He just really pisses me off sometimes, you know?”

Santi chuckled. “I know. He’s an asshole, let’s not worry about him, okay?” He wrapped his arms around her, and Candy allowed herself to sink into him. Santiago felt her relax, laying her head on him. He was angry, so fucking angry at Javier for the things he said to Candy, the way he spoke to her, it was hurting with jaw with how much he was clenching it… but it was clear Candy was upset too. His feelings didn’t matter, her’s did. He needed to be her man, be her strength, so he pushed his feelings aside.

Through the doors of the ballroom they could still here the live music playing, and he felt Candy gasp as The Eagle’s hit song, Peaceful Easy Feeling, began.

“I love this song…” She whispered, beginning to sway to the music. The stars were out, shining on her. It felt like they shined for her alone.

‘I like the way your sparkling earrings lay

Against your skin, it's so brown’

“I know.” Santi whispered against her skin. “I asked them to play it.” He sang the next line into her skin.

‘Y quiero dormir contigo en el desierto esta noche

Con mil millones de estrellas alrededor’

Candy took her head off him to look into his eyes. Fuck, she was pretty. So so pretty. He wanted her with him all the time, even though he knew it wasn’t possible. He wasn’t in love. Santi wasn’t sure he was capable of romantic love, honestly. He wasn’t sure he was capable of a love that was safe. But whatever he had with Candy right now it was good.

“You requested this song for me?”

‘'Cause I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

“Of course I did… wanted to make sure there was music you liked.” Santiago stroked her hair, careful to not mess it up, just enough to feel her. He began to dance with her in earnest.

“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“And I found out a long time ago

What a woman can do to your soul

Ah, but she can't take you anyway

You don't already know how to go”

Santiago twirled her, making Candy giggle. 

“You listen to Fleetwood Mac?” She asked him through her laughs.

‘And I gotta peaceful easy feeling

And I know you won't let me down

'Cause I'm already standing

On the ground’

He shrugged. “I didn’t until I saw you had three albums, a Fleetwood Mac poster AND a Stevie Nicks poster.”

“So you… just decided to listen?”

“They're clearly important to you.”

He sings to her once again in Spanish

‘Tengo este presentimiento de que te conozco

Como amante y como amiga’

Candy whispers in his ear. “I enjoy our time together. I hope you know that. I do consider you a lover and a friend, Santiago.”

‘But this voice keeps whispering

In my other ear, tells me

I may never see you again’

Santiago believed her, but the ever-presant anxiety inside him told him this was temperary. Don’t feel safe, don’t feel comfortable. You are expendable. You are only loved as long as you are useful. You are only loved as long as you are perfect and good and right all the time. You can never mess up. If you do, WHEN you do, she’ll walk away just like Javi did. Still, he shakes these thoughts off and tries to focus on her. Focus on Candy. 

‘Porque tengo un sentimiento tranquilo y pacifico

Y se que decepcionarás

Porque ya estoy parado

En el suelo’

As the song ended, Santi dipped a giggling Candy down low, admiring the way the dress flowed over her beautiful body.

“Hey Candy, they aren’t gonna let us back in there, wanna hop some shitty bars?”

“I’d like nothing more, Santiago.”

*

Back at his apartment, Candy and Santi giggled their way into his bedroom. A slightly tipsy Santi flopped down on his bed, sighing out a declaration that this was the best night of his life. When he opens his eyes again, he sees you smiling at him. He thinks that he wants to see you in his home more often.

“You look really pretty in that dress, you know that?” Santi says with a love-sick smile plastered all over his face. 

You can’t help but smile back, unable to hamper the little laugh that lightens your chest. He was a bit more tipsy than you’d thought. 

He pouts a little, being overly dramatic on purpose as he leans up on his elbows, his left leg half hanging off the bed as you stand watching him. 

“Don’t laugh.” He pulls a face that has the opposite effect. 

You don’t give him the chance to retort again and poke his foot with your index finger, while you school your face into a mock disapproving scowl. “Shoes on in bed?” You tut, expecting another pout and tease back from him, a shrug and a chorus of ‘Well it’s my bed, I can do whatever I want.’ 

But instead, his eyes widened a little, a small dusting of light pink blossoming over his brown cheeks and nose and highlighting his faint freckles. “S-sorry.” He mumbles quickly, scrabbling up into a sitting position to undo his laces. He’s pulled off one shoe and dropped it carefully to the floor before you even have a chance to register what he’s doing. 

“Hey, hey,” you sit down next to him, your thigh touching his, and stroke your left hand through his curls. They’re a little stiffer than usual from the product he used for the occasion; it hasn’t stopped more than a few rough strands from breaking free though. 

Santi leans into your touch instantly, instinctively closing his eyes and sighing, a weight lifting from his ribs. You wouldn’t be surprised if he started purring. 

“You okay?” You whisper, continuing to run your fingers softly through his hair. 

He nods and hums an affirmative. 

You’re about to ask again, unable to stop yourself from double-checking his well-being. That seed of affection for Santi that first settled in your heart weeks ago has now grown and rooted into your chest, its vines and leaves twisted around your rib cage, seeking out your love like sunlight. 

Just as the words form on your tongue you notice the not-so-subtle bulge in his trousers and bite back a smile. 

Ah.

Not distress. Not panic. Nothing like that at all. Not right now, anyway.

Santi can’t see your expression with his eyes closed. He’s shifted closer, his temple gently against your shoulder as you stroke his hair. He sighs happily, almost dreamily. 

It’s nice to see him like this, relaxed into your touch. He too often seems anxious, worried, worrying about his military friends, worried about Javi, worried about his family although those details remain vague. He’s mentioned his sisters lives in the US, Atlanta she thought, his tia’s he saw so often here, and every now and then a brief mention of his mom but only in passing. You place a soft kiss on his forehead, leaving a faint lipstick stain on his skin and he presses closer to you, nuzzling into the nape of your neck. 

Languidly you run your free hand up his thigh, just tracing your fingers over his crotch before you squeeze. 

The sharp, low moan that escapes his lips is more than worth it, though the gasped word that tumbles out is a bit of a surprise. 

“Mommy,” 

He freezes instantly, his eyes going wide and teeth audibly snapping shut. In less than a second he’s racking his brain, trying to work out how, why, where did that word come from? What deep, dark recess of his mind forced that word to the surface? Something was wrong with him. Something fundamentally wrong with him, deep down in the recesses of his brain. He was fucked up. He was going to hell.

Maybe you hadn’t heard it. Maybe you wouldn’t notice it. But already Santi knew those hopes were a lost cause. The way your hand had tightened momentarily in his hair the second it slipped past his tongue. He’d had a drink, a few drinks- although they’d mostly worn off throughout the night- that was a good enough excuse right? Oh god. What must you think? What would you-

“You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” Your voice was low and sweet, a caress to his very soul and he shivered in spite of himself, moaning again and squeezing his eyes shut as you stroked his painfully hard cock. 

He nodded his head rapidly, not wanting to disappoint you. He’d be good, he’d be so fucking good for you. His breath hot on your neck as he pressed closer, angling his body completely towards you with a soft whimper. 

You continued stroking him for a moment longer, pressing the heel of your palm firmly against his thick base before you unzipped his fly and flicked open his trouser buttons. You always loved this, loved how needy he got, how desperate for you.

Santi groaned loudly, his lips against your neck, half muffling his words against your skin as he squirmed into your touch. 

“Hmm?” You halted your actions teasingly, waiting for him to repeat himself. 

The small sob and bob of his throat nearly broke your resolve, but he pulled his face away from you a fraction to speak. 

“Mommy, please,” he whispered. 

You couldn’t help yourself, it wasn’t like it was the first man to call you ‘mommy’ in bed, but there was something about sweet, innocent Santi who had blushed his way through your first encounter not that long ago speaking that world that set your blood ablaze. 

“Please what?” You teased. 

He squirmed again, bucking helplessly against your hand. “Please?”

“You’re gonna have to use a few more words than that pretty boy, or I won’t be able to help you.”

Santi let out an anguished sigh, pressing his face into your neck once more.

Quickly, you moved your hand away from his weeping cock and firmly pinched his chin between your fingers, pulling him back ever so slightly so that you could look into his dark brown eyes as you title his face up. 

“If you don’t speak, Mommy won’t be able to help you.” 

Santi audibly moaned, his eyes rolling back for a split second before he shut them tight. His dick twitched uncontrollably. 

“Yes, please, sorry, I’ll be good, I’ll be a good boy.” His words were all rushed together and there was a hazy look to his gaze when he opened his eyes again, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. 

You petted his hair gently. “I know you will be, Mommy’s got you, sweetheart.”

He whimpered, rubbing his thighs together with every word. 

“Now, tell me what you want.” 

“Can I,” he swallowed again, placing his hand on the zip of your dress, “can I undo this?” 

That wasn’t what you expected him to say, and you raised an eyebrow at him lazily as you smiled and nodded. 

Santi let out a little nervous breath before hastily undoing the dress and carefully slipping it off your shoulders and down to your waist. You weren’t wearing a bra.

He held his breath as he gazed at your chest, his left hand hovering just above your skin as he stared with reverence. As if he hadn’t seen you semi-naked many, many times before. 

You stroked his hair again. “You’re such a good buy, aren’t you? Asking for what you need?” You say softly, just to gently break him out of his trance. You did enjoy teasing him, but never for very long. He always listened, always did as he was told, and you were happy to reward him

He nods quickly, never taking his eyes off your breasts. The tip of his tongue pokes out and wets his bottom lip. 

Ever so slowly he leans forward, placing a light, sweet kiss to your lips, the corner of your mouth, your cheek, before trailing down to your neck and collarbone. His kisses get messier, wetter, more urgent the further down he goes and you don’t expect him to pause, panting against your skin. 

He looks up at you with large eyes that send a shudder of heat through your core. “Can I kiss your breasts… mommy?” He adds the name shyly, looking down momentarily so that his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. 

You keep stroking his hair as you nod, hooking your fingers around the nape of his neck and guiding him towards your chest. He takes the small movement and runs with it instantly, surging forward and covering your breasts in desperate, wet kisses. Switching back and forth between them constantly as if he simply had to lavish each with the exact same amount of attention. He moans as he lightly bites and sucks, his hands digging into your skin as he holds onto you for dear life. 

You press him closer, urging him on by digging your fingers into his curls and scratching your nails along his scalp. He rewards you with another muffled groan, the vibrations reverberating along your skin and sending a shiver of pleasure down your spine. 

Santi pushes closer, the force nearly knocking you onto your back as he latches onto your left nipple. You brace your right hand on the bed behind you so that you can keep your balance. 

“Such a good boy Santi.” You whisper and he whines, looking up at you once with lazy, lust-blown eyes as he keeps his mouth against you. He sucks demandingly, the sensation almost bordering on too much, but still somehow not enough, and swirls his tongue around your nipple before lapping at it and starting the process all over again. His hips are bucking desperately, but he doesn’t dare ask for attention. He knows you’ll take care of him. You always will.

He sighs, shifting, simultaneously trying to get something and not knowing what he wants at the same time. 

You know what he needs though. 

You coo at him, soothing and sweet as you pull in closer into your arms, cradling his head as you gently ease him into your lap. He moans so loudly, the sound quickly becoming a whine in his throat as you embrace him.

For a few seconds, he seems to relax into you, all the stress of the day and previous weeks and months draining from his soul and bones as he gently sucks. But then he starts to squirm, his thighs shaking and stomach muscles tensing. He pulls his mouth off of you with a pop and low, desperate groan. His eyes shut tight and eyebrows knitted together as he whines and presses his forehead against your skin.

“Gonna cum.” At the very back of his mind he has a sense that he should be embarrassed, embarrassed that he’s this far gone and going to cum practically untouched. But he can’t fight the pleasure as it bubbles up his spine, doesn’t want to. 

“You can cum Santi,” you whisper in his ear. “You’re such a good boy, cum for Mommy.” 

He shakes his head, unsure why, tears at the very corners of his eyes, “please.”

“It’s okay,” you soothe, holding him tight and kissing his temple. “I’m here.” 

He moans loudly, latching back onto your breast and sucking for all he’s worth.

“Mommy’s here.” 

He groans again, pulling away a fraction to get his words out. His voice is breath and high. “Want Mommy to cum.” 

The pleading in his voice spikes at the throbbing arousal in your core. “Santi, it’s okay-”

His whine is muffled against your chest as he reaches down, sliding his hands between your legs to caress your body the way he knows you like. You’d taught him exactly how you want to be touched, exactly how you touch yourself. He was an eager learner.

“Santi,” you manage to breathe out through his messy desperate kisses. 

“Mommy needs to cum now please,” he murmurs, his speech slurred against your tongue, 

Your breath catches, thighs squirming as he strokes you, the movements soft but sure. It only takes an embarrassingly short time before you’re moaning into his mouth and tensing as your release overtakes you in a rush. 

When it’s clear you’ve cum, he tenses, his orgasm following through him and bursting behind his eyes. His cock throbs as he empties himself into his pants. You smile softly at his face as his forehead pinches in bliss, your hand still stroking his hair. 

There’s a pause, a small moment of quiet just before he sighs deeply, feeling weak and boneless. And then he looks up at you with his dark, dark eyes. The softness, the relief, the adoration… the sleepiness. 

“So good, Santiago… you’re so good. My perfect boy…”

Santi sighs against your skin, relishing in the tender moment as you play with his hair. “Was that weird?” He mumbles into your skin.

“Noooo, no not at all. It’s very common, actually.”

He looks up at you through heavy lids and suspicious eyes. “Really?”

“Oooooh yeah.” You chuckle. “More often than you think. I’m not here to judge anyone.”

He doesn’t seem convinced, but he seems to relax. “Okay. Yeah. Okay.”

You opt to not talk about it anymore, at least for the time being. He’s so tired right now, coming hard and untouched, and you decide it’s time to put him to bed. By the time you lay him from your lap to his pillow, he’s half asleep, so you opt with minimal dress. Gentle, you unbutton his shirt and slowly, carefully slide his shirt off. When you take off his trousers and underwear fully, you replace them with sweats. You think he’s asleep, breathing slowly and eyes closed. He looks positively angelic. When your getting ready to zip up your dress again, and make your exit, you hear his voice once more.

“Stay the night?”

You sigh. “Santi, I dunno if that’s a good idea…”

His eyes open slightly, just enough so you can see him. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want, I just don’t want tonight to end…”

He looks so vulnerable in this moment… and you don’t want this night to end either. Rules be damned. Santi was different. Santi was better. Santi was good. And you?  You deserved some damn good.

“Don’t pay me, I’ll stay.”

Santiago sits up ever so slightly. “No, no Candy this is your job. I don’t expect free-”

“It’s not free, honey.” You begin to strip down, Santi’s sleepy eyes drifting down your naked body, staring at the knife at your garter. “We’re going to sleep, just like I would at home. And tomorrow, you’ll make me breakfast. Sound like a fair trade?” The truth was, sleeping with Santi, actually sleeping with Santi, sounded wonderful. You didn’t want it to feel like a transaction. 

So, you slip into his clothes. You wear a tee shirt and sweats and climb into his bed where you think he’s actually asleep this time. He snores lightly. He sleeps on his stomach, so you rub his back. He feels nice. 

You want better for him. You want him to have a stable life, a loving wife who wasn’t a whore, kids if he wanted them, his family and friends surrounding him. He should have to live in danger, work a dangerous job. He should be allowed to be happy. It wasn’t a life you could give him, you knew… but you could imagine.

You kiss the scar on his spine.

******************

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for reading!!!!

If you're still hear, please drop a lil HI! It's 12 pm here, inching towards 1 but i promised to put this out so i will!!!

Everyone PLEASE GIVE A ROUND OF APPLOUSE FOR FEN FOR THE SMUT IN THE COMMENTS AND REBLOGS SO I CAN MAKE SURE THEY SEE ALL THE LOVE

I hope everyone is saying as safe as they can be in these temps, my heart goes out to all those struggling but especially those in war zones, poverty, homelessness, or in areas that were previously never this cold and thus unprepared for a harsh winter. I know us northerners joke about how cold we get, but I know its different when your infrastructure isnt equipped to take this on.

So tell me friends

Did Javier have a reason to be mad at Santi?

Or was he overreacting?

TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE ARGUEMENT AND YOUR THOTS ON OUR DEAR SANTI

@runa-falls @lunar-ghoulie @campingwiththecharmings @whatthefishh @persephone-girl @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @beelzebeth87 @pimosworld @millerscoffee @heareball @thatwonderouswoman @poolb @meveispunk @lovable-liar @millllenniawrites @read-and-wip @missdictatorme @the-fox-den @milkymoon2483 @k-ra @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rosellacwrites @legendary-pink-dot @dreamingofbucky @englandsgray @starsthatwatch @fairlyang @alwaysmicado @theywhowriteandknowthings @casa-boiardi @lostfleurs @ninebluehearts @puglover12 @sub-aro @laiisleiite @itspdameronthings @heareball @comfortlessjoy @csarab615 @calaveramangonda @bit-dodgy-innit @stevngrant @kirsteng42 @mrsjavierp @nanfafnan @lovable-liar @axshadows @cookielovesbook-akie @reallyrallyauthor @solar-fics @criticalarchitecture

[wikiangela]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @aroeddiediaz @underwaterninja13 @nmcggg @ladydorian05 thank you <33

How many works do you have on ao3?

right now it's 90! (57 of these are 911 lol)

What's your total ao3 word count?

535,450

What fandoms do you write for?

currently just 911, but I have some destiel and sambucky fics and who knows, I might get back to them at some point haha

Top 5 fics by kudos:

For a holiday (and forevermore)

I can't love you any more (than I do now)

I'd marry you with paper rings

the next best thing

There’s no way that it’s not going there (with the way that we’re looking at each other)

(they're all buddie and I just noticed that the top 4 are all over 1k kudos?? when did that happen lmao)

Do you respond to comments?

I do! sometimes it takes me a while bc i get lowkey overwhelmed lol but I always do!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

there's not a lot bc I prefer happy or hopeful endings, but I guess by post 6x10 fics? Fine and don't know what I'd do if your tomorrow never came idk lol

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of my fics have happy endings, but I guess I'd say For a holiday (and forevermore) 

Do you get hate on fics?

not really? got like one or two not very nice comments but generally no haha

Do you write smut?

yes I do 😁 not often and it always takes me forever but I do have two smut fics in the works (one buddie, one bucktommy lol)

Craziest crossover?

don't have any

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, as far as I know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

Have you co-written a fic before?

no

All time favorite ship?

buddie

(ngl, bucktommy is a veeeeery close second rn🙈)

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

there's two that have been fighting me for so long they're lowkey abandoned now and tbh I don't know if I still want to finish them? one is a 5+1 nicknames, and the other just a silly idea about eddie flirting with buck since they met but buck being veeeery oblivious lol

What are your writing strengths?

I think (usually) I'm pretty good at staying true to the characters and not making them too ooc (and I know when it's ooc, okay, I have one wip rn where I just don't give a fuck, I'm writing it anyway lol), and I can get into their heads pretty well. Also I think I'm good at the cute fluffy stuff lol idk

What are your writing weaknesses?

there's probably a lot lol - rn the one that comes to mind is descriptions probably, which is why writing fanfic where we have established characters and settings is so much easier than og stuff haha

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I don't mind it but I don't do it a lot aside from a pet name here and there bc I just don't wanna get anything wrong lol

First fandom you wrote in?

for tv shows supernatural, but before that I did write rpf which i just wanna forget about lol

Favorite fic you've written?

rn it's three:

we don't know where this is going now (don't be afraid of heights, let me open your heart wide) - my tommy pov fic <3

I'm comin' back, don't let me go - buck driving/breakdown fic

baby, you drive me wild - car smut - might not be my best but it's my fave smut lol

tags: @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @loserdiaz @evanbegins

@wildlife4life @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway

@spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks

@rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @exhuastedpigeon

@jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @theotherbuckley @daffi-990

@hoodie-buck @tizniz @bidisasterevankinard

[neewtmas]

12 days of Christmas // A Lockwood & Co Advent Calendar

DAY 6

Welcome back! It's currently 01:16 am on the 13th, which means I'm technically a day late but we'll just ignore that bc I gave my absolute best to get this finished in time and it simply got out of hand.

After the Lucy x reader I wrote for day 2 thought that I couldn't possibly forget about the Lockwood girlies, and since we're at the halfway point I wanted to do something extra nice, so here is a very long (4.2k??) Lockwood x reader with a some enemies to lover-ish dynamics and reader as Kipps' little sister. Hope you enjoy!

A Mission For Two

pairing: anthony lockwood x Kipps!fem!reader

wordcount: 4.2k

masterlist

advent calendar tags: @givemea-dam-break @wellgoslowly @maraschinomerry @losticaruss @oblivious-idiot @uku-lelevillain @avdiobliss @strawberryloveyyy @strawberrycowgirly @demigoddess-of-ghosts @thefriendlyneighborhoodmomfriend @boookfreeak

day 1 day 2 day 3 day 4 day 5

"4 pm, my office. There's no excuses, I know you don't have anything else to do." Lockwood grumbled a half-hearted yes into the telephone, before slamming it down, harder than necessary. He walked back into the kitchen, where Lucy and George sat with a cup of tea each. His tea was probably cold by now. Lucy furrowed her brows. "Who's calling?" "Barnes, who else", Lockwood replied, snatching his cup of tea and emptying it in the sink before pouring fresh hot water from the kettle. "Says he has a job for us." "That's good", George remarked. "Business has been a little slow." Lockwood crossed his arms and huffed. Unfortunately, George was right. Business had been slow the past few weeks. What irked him most though, was that Barnes seemed to know all about it.

A little before 4 pm they entered the DEPRAC building, an ugly structure in the middle of London, with a hideous interior to match. No wonder all DEPRAC agents they came across at their jobs seemed to be in a perpetual bad mood. The route to Barnes' office was well known to them, as it wasn't the first time by any means they had been called in. Lockwood adjusted his tie and coat before knocking on the door twice. Barnes' assistant opened the door seconds later, and the three of them stepped in. But almost immediately, Lockwood froze on the spot, causing George to run into him.

"What are they doing here?", Lockwood inquired, gesturing to the group of people already seated in front of Barnes' desk.

The person closest to Barnes' desk turned around. "Tony. Great to see you around here. Business is going well, I hear?" Lockwood narrowed his eyes at Kipps, hand already on his rapier. "Just sit down", Barnes said sharply. "We have more important things to talk about." Lucy and George could tell that Lockwood was of a different opinion, but a rather forceful push from Lucy caused him to take a seat and postpone the inevitable fight, at least until they were out of there.

When they were finally all seated and quiet, Barnes leaned forward, his hands clasped together. "I want to be here just as much as you are", he began. "If it were up to me, this wouldn't be happening. But unfortunately, it's out of my control." He leaned back in his seat, nodding at his assistant. She stepped out of her corner and placed a print-out of a newspaper site on the desk. "Are you familiar with the Wentworth family?"

"Don't they host these ridiculously fancy balls? What do we have to do with this?", Kipps asked. Barnes sighed, and it was obvious that he had already spent much more time than he wanted on this. "The next one is supposed to be held at Wycliffe Hall Estate." Silence. "Haven't there been ghost sightings?", George asked, pushing his glasses up and leaning forward to grab the article copy. "Yes." Barnes sounded tired. "I have tried everything to mitigate this, but to no avail. They have been adamant that it has to be there. Lady Wentworth's daughter - or was it her niece? - is engaged to Wycliffe's son. And the possibility of a ghost adds the certain 'flair' they are looking for."

Lockwood and George shared a look. Lucy scoffed. "Rich people", she mumbled under her breath and Barnes sent her a reprimanding look but it was not hard to see that he thought just the same. "And what are we here for?", Kipps asked, sounding somewhat impatient. "DEPRAC tasked me with providing agents to mingle among the crowd and keep their eyes out for any disturbances." He gave Kipps and Lockwood a pointed look. "Don't think for a moment that you are my first choice for this. But we are understaffed and I need someone."

He pulled his chair closer to his desk and leaned forward again. "I need you - together - to go to this ball. You will form pairs - couples if you will - and mingle. I and a few other colleagues will be present as well. If anything happens, if anyone gets hurt - I will lose my job. So don't mess it up." He took his time to look at each one of them. "You're dismissed, he finally said.

The two groups walked in silence until they stepped through the huge glass entry doors. "Tony -" Kipps began and Lockwood's hand flew to the hilt of his rapier. Kipps raised his hands. "Don't be so defensive. Let's just get this over with, alright? Everyone does their research and at the event, we work separately." He offered his hand to Lockwood, who didn't take it immediately. Kipps being so good-natured was out of character - maybe Barnes had had a word with him on his own. Lucy nudged Lockwood and he slowly let go of his rapier to take the hand Kipps offered him.

The next two weeks were spent with unspectacular - exceptionally boring really - cases every few nights. There hadn't been any more communication with Kipps and his team, something neither Lockwood, Lucy or George had any issues with. Three days before the big event, Barnes called 35 Portland Row to give further information on the dress code. "This whole endeavour is just ridiculous", Lockwood said as he recounted the talk with Barnes to George and Lucy. "We are allowed to carry our rapiers, but only minimal other equipment. Can't have us ruining the aesthetic, he says." George shook his head. "This is a suicide mission. For the adult attendees at least. Why would you ever willingly spend a night somewhere that has reported and confirmed ghost sightings?"

"They are bored. They live their whole lives locked up in their mansions, so that's a night of freedom. They have no idea that a few agents won't do much if a ghost is gonna make its appearance", Lockwood replied. "Also the Wentworths are known for their elaborate parties and events. A ball in a haunted mansion is the perfect way to stand out." Lucy raised her eyebrows. "So you know the Wentworths?" Lockwood grinned at her. "They are regularly on the cover of my gossip magazines. If you read them, you'd know them." Lucy grimaced. "No thank you. I'd rather not."

Three days later, on the morning of the ball, Lockwood and George sat in the kitchen, already two toasts deep into breakfast, when Lucy staggered into the room. She was pale, wrapped in two sweaters and a scarf and still wearing her pyjama bottoms. "You look like death", George said dryly as Lucy flopped down on a chair. She wanted to say something, but instead, she was caught in a coughing fit that shook her entire body. Lockwood watched her with furrowed brows. "Guess it's just us tonight, George", he said, pushing a cup of tea in front of Lucy. She grabbed it and took several sips, before clearing her throat. "I don't know where this is coming from", she said with a hoarse voice. "But Lady Wentworth would probably kill me if I were to cough around her esteemed guests." "Barnes would do that before she even had a chance to see you", George remarked while buttering his third toast. "Can you cough on me? Maybe I'll get sick before tonight as well."

George did not get sick, and so he and Lockwood sat alone in the cab that would take them out of London to the Wycliffe Hall Estate. They were both wearing a suit - usual for Lockwood, very unusual for George. All available pockets were filled to the brim with salt bombs and silver nets, which made them both look a little less elegant. When the cab pulled up to the front of the estate, Kipps' team as well as Barnes already stood by the stairs to the entrance, waiting for them. The gravel crunched under the soles of their shoes as they made their way over. Barnes looked them up and down with a less than favourable expression, but they seemed to pass his expectations, because he didn't say anything about their appearance. Instead, he asked: "Where's Miss Carlyle?"

"She came down with a bad cold."

"Unfortunate", Barnes said. "Really unfortunate. That doesn't make this easier. Mr Karim - you're going with Mr Vernon and Mr Shaw." All three opened their mouth to protest, but Barnes wasn't having it. "I don't care, whatever you have to say. None of you could be a very convincing couple. That's why you'll pose as waiters. Ms Channing will show you the basics."

All three of them were less than excited about the prospect of handing out champagne to the elite of London, and George mumbled something rather rude under his breath that Barnes either didn't hear or chose to ignore. The three boys were led away by a young woman in her early thirties.

"Alright." Barnes eyed the four agents in front of him. "Mr Kipps, you'll go with Miss Godwin. Mr Lockwood, you'll pair up with Miss Kipps." "No way he's going with my sister!" "Mr Kipps, we talked about this", Barnes said sternly, his patience wearing thin. "You'll do as I say, or you'll deal with the consequences. But I promise you, they'll be worse."

Kipps was red in the face, huffing and puffing, but he didn't say anything else. Lockwood suddenly wished that Lucy's cold had befallen him instead. (name) Kipps was almost as bad as her brother, and he could not stand her. Since she became part of her brother's team, they had crossed paths a little too often for Lockwood's taste. And every time everything she did only aggravated him. Tonight (name) was wearing a dark red, almost floor-length dress that swished around her legs as she walked over to Lockwood, following Barnes' instructions. She didn't look at Lockwood, and he did his best to train his eyes on Barnes instead of her neck and shoulders that were exposed by the neckline of her sleeveless dress. Leave it up to her to dress entirely distracting and inappropriately. Who could fight ghosts in this?

"I need you to blend in seamlessly. I have arranged to fill the room with as many iron decorations as possible, to hopefully seal it off to any supernatural disturbances that might occur. Lady Wentworth was very clear to me about the fact that she doesn't want you to look like agents to the other attendees, she wants you to look like guests. That means I expect you to dance and at least act like you want to be there." Barnes looked more tired than he did two weeks ago. No one said anything, so he took a deep breath and turned around. "Don't disappoint me", he said over his shoulder.

They watched him disappear behind the imposing door wing. While they had been talking, the first guests had started to arrive. Every car was fancier than the last, the men that emerged wearing expensive suits and the ladies draped in luxurious gowns and glittering diamonds. Kipps offered Kat his arm, following the example of the couples ascending the stairs. Lockwood went to follow them, but (name) didn't move and instead cleared her throat. "Don't you have any manners, Mr Lockwood?" Her mocking tone was already working to raise his blood pressure. The way she said his name was almost worse than Kipps calling him Tony. He bit his tongue to not say something he would regret in the first five minutes of them working together and turned around to offer her his arm. He didn't look at her as she looped her arm around his and they walked up the stairs together. The other attendees either ignored them or looked at them with something akin to disdain - this was an exclusive circle they were not part of.

It was quite early, so any disturbances would take a while to occur. Lockwood dreaded what that meant. Kipps and Kat were already on the dancefloor, and Barnes stood at the side, next to a tall blond woman in an emerald green gown. Lockwood immediately recognized her at Lady Wentworth. She turned to whisper something to the man on her other side and Barnes took the opportunity to wave at Lockwood, gesturing down to the dancefloor. He rolled his eyes and tugged on (name)'s arm, and together they descended the stairs. They reached the very edge of the dancing crowd and Lockwood stopped. "What? You don't know how to dance?" Again that mocking tone.

The ballroom was bigger than expected, with high ceilings and a row of huge windows on one side. It was already bustling with people, some dancing, some in conversation. Lockwood and (name) stood atop some stairs that led down to the dancefloor. Kipps and Kat were gone, but as Lockwood let his eyes wander over the crowd, he spotted George. He had to bite back a laugh at the sight of George with a tray of champagne flutes and a scowl on his face that deterred anyone he walked past from taking something off his tray.

Lockwood grabbed her hand and placed the other one on her waist. As they started dancing, rather slow and awkward, Lockwood again wished that the illness that had befallen Lucy had chosen him instead. He did his best to not look at (name), or think about her hand on his shoulder, or her hand that laid in his. This was the worst. "Is this all you have to offer?" "We're dancing", he said curtly, still avoiding eye contact. "What else do you want?" She giggled, and a shiver ran down his back. That was new. "Well for starters, we need to be closer together. Much closer." Her next step wasn't to the side, but instead towards him, which caught him off guard. He almost stumbled over his own feet, but her hand gripped his shoulder and she continued the sequence of steps so that he could get back into it. "Also, you are supposed to lead me."

He made the mistake of looking at her. She was much closer than he anticipated, which made him lose his footing again. Only briefly though, because for whatever reason she seemed to know exactly what she was doing. And probably made him look like a fool. He wanted to scream. What was she doing to him? How could a person make him so angry and flustered at the same time? "If you fence how you dance, I have no idea how you ever beat Quill." He just huffed. No matter how hard he racked his brain, he couldn't think of anything clever to say that would shut her up - and that just wasn't something that happened to him. Ever.

A few hours later, they stood with Kipps and Kat on the side of the dance floor. The room had filled up even more, and no one seemed to be concerned that the clock was nearing midnight. Out of nowhere, George appeared next to Lockwood. "This has been the worst night of my life", he breathed out, looking around restlessly. "I dumped the champagne into one of the flower pots and have been hiding from Barnes ever since", he whispered to Lockwood. "How are you holding up?" Lockwood looked over to (name), who was talking animatedly with Kat and her brother. "She's driving me up the wall", he said. "Somehow she manages to push buttons I didn't even know I had." He missed George's knowing grin as he looked around the room. "Have you noticed anything else?"

"The corners got progressively colder as the evening went on. I checked the temperature every now and then. I bet if there weren't so many people in here, we would feel it even more. But all the iron is probably holding it off so far."

It didn't take long for Barnes to appear and hurry them back onto the dance floor to 'keep up their cover' - not that this was working that great to begin with. They looked too young, their dancing was too awkward and the rapiers at their side didn't help either. Lockwood and (name) were standing close to the walls, far away from Barnes. They had parted as soon as he was gone. (name) had complained about her feet for the past hour, and Lockwood just about had enough. The whole thing gave him a headache and he wanted to get far away from her as soon as possible. Especially because with time, dancing closely with her had turned out to be not that bad. He didn't like that at all.

He was picking on a stray thread on his sleeve when suddenly a cold feeling washed over him. He jumped when (name) roughly grabbed his arm. "Do you hear that?" she hissed and he tried for a moment to shut out the sounds of conversation and heels on hardwood floor from the crowd and just listen. Nothing. "I'm not a good listener," he said quietly to not alert the few people standing closest to them. It irked him to have to admit this to (name). She stood there with her eyes closed and her head tilted to the side. For the first time this evening, Lockwood could take a closer look at her, even though part of him violently fought against it. Her hair was pulled back, away from her face. She was wearing a thin necklace with a pendant that laid a few inches above her dress's neckline. He briefly wondered if it was a gift from someone, but immediately shut that thought down. This was ridiculous.

Suddenly she opened her eyes again. "I can't describe it. It's like a whisper… and a scream… all at once." She took a look at her watch. "It's almost midnight", she said quietly. Lockwood patted over his pockets. "I don't have a thermometer with me. That's George's job usually. But don't you think it's gotten really cold just now?" She nodded, and he noticed her slightly shivering. Taking a look around, no one besides them seemed to have noticed anything out of the ordinary. Lockwood took a few strides to the set of doors closest to them. When he touched the handle, he almost pulled his hand back immediately. The metal was ice-cold to the touch. Surprisingly, the door was unlocked, and he looked around once before opening it carefully and peeking around. The corridor that laid in front of him was almost entirely dark, only illuminated by the streak of light let in from the open door. The air that hit his face was dry and much too cold. (name) appeared next to him. "Let's go", she said. "Let's get it over with." Lockwood thought for a moment that maybe it was better to get the rest of the agents, but then again, what could go wrong? If George's research was correct, there should only be one ghost. They just had to find the source. And this corridor seemed promising.

The two of them slipped through and Lockwood closed the door. Immediately they were enveloped by complete darkness, and now that the door separated them from the warmth and the light and the perceived safety of the ballroom, Lockwood could feel the malaise creeping up on him. He fumbled with his jacket to pull out the flashlight he had stuffed into one of the pockets inside. He switched it on on the lowest setting, and when his eyes had adjusted to the light, he started to move it around to get an idea of their surroundings. (name)'s dress almost looked like blood in the dim light, and as they slowly moved down the hallway, she reached into a fold of the skirt and swiftly pulled out a rapier. "Hidden pocket", she said as she noticed Lockwood's stare. Something about the way she had just pulled that out of nowhere - his brain felt jumbled.

The temperature was dropping rapidly now. (name) was now really shivering, and Lockwood felt the urge to offer her his jacket. But no, that was a stupid idea. He'd make a fool out of himself. They were walking close together now, arms brushing against each other as she tugged at his sleeve. "Can you turn off the light for a second", she whispered. "I think I heard something." It took a few seconds for their eyes to adjust to the dark. "There it is again. Do you really hear nothing?" Lockwood noticed that her tone was normal - she wasn't trying to mock him anymore. He closed his eyes well. There, far in the distance, he heard something. But nothing he could put a finger on. "There was a door right there, right? I wanna see what's behind it."

"Do you need the light?", he asked. "It should be fine. His stomach did a little flip as he suddenly felt her hand slip into his. "Just so we don't lose each other in the dark", she whispered as she pulled him forward. The door creaked as (name) found the handle and pushed against it, her rapier scratching against the wood. The air that came out was even colder. The room could almost be described as well-lit in comparison to the hallway, a big window opposite the door letting in the cold blue light of the moon. They stepped inside. Lockwood did not close the door. While taking a look around, he noticed that (name) had not let go of his hand - even though now there was no risk of getting lost in the dark. Then something in the corner caught his eye. "A deathglow", he whispered, pointing over. "Right above the bed. About the size of a small child." "That checks out. I think one of the nannies - " "- murdered the child", finished Lockwood. "Looks like we read the same articles." She smiled at him, and he realised it was the first genuine smile she had ever shown him. He was reminded of the fact that they were also still holding hands.

"What do you think the source could be?", she asked. He looked around the room, all senses heightened. Until now, nothing had materialised. "It was a small child, right? There's a stuffed teddy sitting next to the pillow. Maybe…" As if the ghost had heard him, the atmosphere got heavier. It was like the air itself got denser and heavier, weighing on him and making it harder to breathe. "I think that might be it. Are you feeling it?" (name) just nodded. Her hand slipped in the front of her dress and Lockwood quickly averted his eyes. "I have a silver net", she whispered. "Give me cover and I'll throw it. If we're lucky, that's it." Lockwood did not argue with her. A pulsating headache had started in the back of his head. He drew his rapier and watched as (name) crept slowly towards the bed, silver net at the ready in one hand, rapier in the other. Basked in the pale light of the moon, with the gleaming rapier and the red dress that flowed around her, she looked like a vengeful ghost herself, and Lockwood had to remind himself to stay aware of his surroundings.

Then, everything happened all at once. (name) threw the silver net, and in the same moment, the supernatural scream that Lockwood had only heard at the very edge of his perception swelled to a volume that pierced through his head like a dagger, and a gigantic blast of wind threw (name) back, catapulting her through the air before she crashed into Lockwood with full force. His rapier was blown out of his hand and out of reflex he wrapped his arms around (name) as they both hit the ground.

It took a moment for Lockwood to gather himself. His ears were ringing and all of the whirled-up dust made it harder to breathe. (name) was lying half on top of him, her hair covering her face. "Are you okay?", Lockwood croaked out. For a moment she didn't move, and he already started to feel panic creeping up on him, but then she coughed and slowly pushed herself up in a sitting position. She raised her hand to her forehead, only to gasp at the blood on her fingertips as she lowered it again. "Is it bad?" "It looks small." He managed to stand up slowly, extending his hand to her. She took it without hesitation. "And pretty cool, might I add", he said as she stood next to him, making no moves to let go of his hand.

Suddenly, the door that the blast of wind had thrown shut burst open again. In the doorframe stood Kipps, followed by George and Kat. He looked at Lockwood and (name), then at the bloody wound on his sister's head, and finally to her hand that was still holding Lockwood's hand. And he looked ready to explode.

thank you for reading, feedback is appreciated :)

[facewithoutheart]

Ten Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tags @shrekgogurt, @artsyunderstudy, @youarenevertooold, & @roomwithanopenfire I’m enjoying all this navel-gazing a whole bunch actually & I’ve done this before but it’s been awhile… sooo

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 169 (niiiice)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? ~950k (yikes) although some of that is Birthday Man and collabs with people from WIP fest. Don’t ask me to do the math tho; that’s mean.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I’ve written for HP, Check Please, and RWRB although right now I’m mostly a CO writer with a toe dipping into 9-1-1. I have one Captain America fic posted and some WIPs I don’t know if I’ll finish. Nobody look at that AFTG fic; it’s pure crack.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Whoo boy do I have thoughts here. I want to be the kind of writer who replies to comments and I harbor so much guilt that I’m not; I know I miss out on opportunities to connect with readers, and I genuinely appreciate comments so much; I hoard them in my inbox like a greedy lil affirmation dragon. I write to engage and connect. So, like, I know I should but at the same time I hate forcing interactions. I like them to spawn organically. I keep my circle small because I get really emotionally overwhelmed and then I feel guilty when I can’t give people what they deserve. And I’ve also never been comfortable with compliments or gratitude, I don’t trust them. So here’s a bulk of emotional trauma no one asked for to say: I don’t reply to comments as often as I feel I should and I’m trying to release the guilt I feel about this while also recognizing that not commenting probably has a direct negative affect on my ability to meet my goal of connecting through writing and at the same time my mental health probably couldn’t withstand the pressure I would need to place on it to get to where I’m replying to comments regularly. Hi I’m a mess who’s trying to love herself and often falls short of that goal; aren’t we all?

5. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No.

6. Have you ever co-written a fic before? So many actually! I didn’t think I’d ever get to a place where I trust someone else to the level this would take but I’ve been really lucky to work with some amazing writers even if not all of those works went anywhere. I actually don’t even think I could realistically tag all the people I’ve collabed with bc I’m afraid I’ll miss someone and isn’t that amazing? Personal growth; we love to see her.

7. What’s your all-time favorite ship? Oh man. I want to just be lame and say it’s me and Mr. Face 🤣 I shipped us when no one else did. Um! Snowbaz is always going to have a special place in my heart, but I’m really leaning into Buddie right now because of age and wanting to explore people in their 30’s still figuring out their lives while battling PTSD and late-in-life sexuality realizations. For, um. Reasons.

8. What are your writing strengths? I do like my dialogue a lot; dialogue is often where I start my scenes and I develop from there. I think I’ve done a good job of honing my ability to vary action/dialogue/internality a lot. I also think I keep people engaged or maybe I just keep myself engaged which is good enough for me. Sometimes I’m funny although sadly not as much recently.

9. What are your writing weaknesses? I struggle with remembering to add in physical descriptors. (Like oh shit have I ever mentioned this character has eyes?) Logistics are a frequent source of pain. (Wait, where were their hands?) I think my plots are kind of basic and boring; I don’t come up with really vivid and detailed concepts. I use the wrong words for things. I really hate detailing out backstory. I have to reread my fics a million times to maintain character consistency. Etc.

10. First fandom you wrote for? Hey Arnold. I wish I could find those fics; I bet they suck.

Tagging 10 peeps @sillyunicorn @mostlymaudlin @martsonmars @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @ivelovedhimthroughworse @thewholelemon @palimpsessed @aristocratic-otter & @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

[starstruckodysseys]

20 questions for 20 writers !!

thank u to @localdisasterisk for tagging me in this! i honestly do not know how many writers i follow so um. ill tag my pibe fic besties @wheelsupin-azarathmetrionzinthos @angelwiththeblue-box @fatestitcherr @incorrect-play-it-by-ear and the rest of u can fight amongst yourselves

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

48. i don’t know if its more concerning that almost half of them are from the past five months or that almost half are play it by ear. its the same almost half but still

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

143,389. woof

3. what fandoms do you write for?

obviously play it by ear. everyone knows that. also d20 occasionally and project sekai. unfortunately

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

toya and mizuki’s step by step guide to romancing a shinonome — i will be so real with you guys i specifically crafted this one to be popular. and then i fell in love with it along the way. but it did start as a science experiment

let me take you with me (just like this) — WHY. this is my second pjsekai fic and my fourth fic ever posted. it’s not at all reflective of my current style. help

kiss it better — yeah. same issue as the other one. this one’s better though lmao

say you miss me (say you want to kiss me) — honestly? just impressed a honakana fic made it up this high. love my girlies

the moon is crumbling (but that’s okay) — yeah everyone pretend to be surprised the ruikasa fic got this high up. it was a new concept for me, though, so i’m pretty proud of that

5. do you respond to comments?

i used to, but not really anymore unfortunately. to be fair, i will point you all to the fact that most of my recent fics are pibe, and then to the discord where we all scream about them together

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don’t usually. write sad endings. bc i don’t like them. okay that’s not true i just usually don’t. i guess the moon is crumbling?? if i had to choose?? it’s more bittersweet than anything, but people did say they cried, so…

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

99.9% of my fics are getting together fics. it’s just the same ending a million different ways. you tell me

8. do you get hate on your fics?

not publicly!

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i would simply be too powerful if i could. this is for your safety actually

10. do you write crossovers?

in the sense of characters across universes/media interacting? no. in the sense of “i am going to put my blorbos in every single other setting i slightly enjoy”? absolutely. putting them under a microscope. researching and recording how they react to their surroundings

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

i simply do not think there is a demand for my fics in other languages. not in like a depressing way, it’s just that i’m writing for like five people including myself, so. yknow

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but if someone wanted to… 👀

14. what’s your all time favorite ship?

i’ve never written for them (yet, at least), but by sheer volume and span of time i have to say souyo persona4. my silly boys. i’ve never scoured the entire tag for a ship multiple times on ao3 like i have for them. i have so many thoughts about them that have never seen the light of day but they exist!!

15. what’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

stares awkwardly at feed your anger like fire… i’ve tried!! but it turns out that sometimes you get stuck on clothing designs and stop writing and then lose passion for the project and then stop updating for three years because you were too ambitious and also you hate your old writing style. not that i would know anything about that

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i’m really good at dialogue, or at least banter. unfortunately this makes me very judgmental but that’s not important. also i can create a vibe well i’ve been told

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

in general? i SUCK at character description, or at least knowing where and when to place it. i also always worry about characterization and if my characters sound too similar

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i used to read so many fics that centered around using another language (shoutout bmc fandom when i was. in that. a dark period of my life, but alas) and honestly if it’s done well i think it’s cool!! i’m not going to get into the intricacies of bilingualism on account of being an english only speaker but it is rad to me

19. first fandom you wrote for?

wrote for? probably warriors. yes the cats. i had a whole fanfic for my oc. shoutout to… honestly i don’t remember her name but she was a real one! wrote for and posted is another story, by which i mean i don’t remember At All. probably bandori tbh, bc i don’t remember if i posted fanfic on my wattpad

20. favorite fic you’ve written?

either the venn diagram of curses and crushes (which is still my favorite fic title ever) or soaking in the glory. one of them is a 3k word expedition into the play it by ear canon space and the other is a 7k word fever dream i went into a fugue state to write in two days. honorable mention to the like the sweetest cup of chai series which i hold so close to my heart. silliest besties of all time

[beyourownanchor6]

20 questions for fic writers ✍️

Tagged by my dear @spotsandsocks 🩵

How many works do you have on ao3?

249!

What’s your total ao3 word count?

1,588,699 ummm guess i really never can stfu 😅

What fandoms do you write for?

mostly 9-1-1, but also teen wolf. debating another but we shall see..

Top five fics by kudos

if i lay here, would you lie with me (forget the world) (over 3k kudos 🥲)

nobody can do everything

i want to love you (but i don't know how)

five + one (istg i'm gonna come up with a title for this so i don't have to see this embarrassment of one anymore 💀)

if i asked you to stay, would you?

Do you respond to comments?

always! i appreciate people taking the time to leave them <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

—uhh either of these since they're both mcd ooop 🫣

dancing after death (you and i)

come back home (version 2)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

—mm i'll go with chris doesn't come back au since it was full of angst and everyone suffered 😂

wake me up (i'm drowning)

Do you get hate on fics?

no just annoying/unnecessary comments sometimes 🙃

Do you write smut?

i may have written a few....

the slutty suit (i think this one's self explanatory 😏)

upstairs/downstairs (pwp on a rainy day in the fire station)

i'll let you fire my hose if you merry my christmas (author!buck writes pwp x amatuer model eddie for his book covers)

beautiful drama series (buddie meet on a dating app and start up fwb)

Craziest crossover:

uhh, well there's my step up au: let me lose myself

or there's my divergent au: crossfire

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so. someone asked once, but not sure what ever happened with that

Have you ever co-written a fic?

yep, with my wife @loserdiaz 🫶🏻 (i think i know what our next one shall be 👀)

—no body, no crime

—this is my idea of fun (playing video games)

—i don't want to keep secrets just to keep you

All time favorite ship?

buddie ofc 😌

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

—uhhh probably the buddie fwb buck 1.0.2 that i started, deleted, but still have the notes for....rawie look away

What are your writing strengths?

keeping them in character and metaphors, according to my lovely readers 🥰

What are your writing weaknesses?

keeping things short 😭 (idk i could make a whole list but don't feel like tearing myself apart atm lmao)

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

—to each their own

First fandom you ever wrote in?

teen wolf!

Favorite fic you’ve written?

i hate picking between my children 😭

i'm gonna go with duck buck, just bc i've been thinking about her lately 🐥 (and i'm sure y'all are tired of hearing about my favorite one 😂)

the ducking of evan buckley

—so i definitely forgot this was in my drafts hfurnj. if you’ve already done this just ignore me <3 tagging: @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @redlightsandicedtea @honestlydarkprincess @bi-buckrights @onward--upward @elvensorceress @daffi-990 @wikiangela @hippolotamus @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @confetti-cupcake @queerdiaz @jackluvsdaniel @ronordmann @spaceprincessem @underwaterninja13

[raayllum]

“Thank you,” Callum said. “But I haven’t found anything yet. We’d probably have to turn right around and leave the sea entirely—”

“Leave the sea?” Ezran repeated more doubtfully. They were more than halfway toward the centre, and that’d taken almost a week. They wouldn’t make it back in time if they turned around now, and they only had one ship. 

Nyx raised her hand. “Uh, do you really have time for that kind of detour? Don’t you guys have like, the end of the world to stop?” Callum ground his teeth together. “I don’t care about—Rayla might not have two weeks.” 

—say the wind won't change on us, may 2023 / infantis sanguine, july 2023 (why callum offering to get out of the water is Insane, a meta)

[ideas-4-stories]

NOOOOOOOO I LOST THE AU I WROTE FOR YOU 😭😭😭 I LITERALLY SENT IT AND TUMBLR SAID "NETWORK ERROR". L FOR THE WIFI. L. Not cool I'm literally crying I thought that AU was genius. It was a Teacher!Buggy AU with Crocomom and Dadhawk. + Shanks co-parenting Luffy with Crocodile. That note was so long I literally spent like 45 mins writing it here on your ask and it was just. Gone. Or I think it did. Why does life hate me. I'm just gonna be brief with this cuz I still think it's golden lmao. Croco and Mihawk work long hours so their kids (Luffy, Zoro, Perona) have to wait for a few hours until they're picked up by their parents. The school doesn't have school buses bc I said so (no I am not cruel it's just out of my budget /j). So Buggy takes the responsibility to keep them comfortable and entertained while they wait. Croco and Mihawk meeting this charming (and clown looking) blue-haired guy and they start courting him. Shanks gets dragged in on the courting bc of Luffy. Also he was already courting Buggy. I didn't write their process of courting I basically skipped and went,, their wedding will take part in a Goth castle. And the design are all sunshine and rainbows (literally). Sanji, Usopp, Nami, Vivi, Zoro and Luffy being in a class along with other kids. Franky, Robin, Jinbei and Brook are in higher classes. Chopper is atom. Not here in the world yet. Perona is like, 2-3yrs older than her brothers so. Yeah *awkwardly shuffles* (I love perona I swear-). Implied Zosan. Some rando: but you didn't imply shi— Me: Shhh I did. *gaslighting*. Law is also there in the classroom with lower grade strawhats. He's suffering. He only attends 3 days a week tho, he's mostly homeschooled bc of his sickness. He's homeschooled by Cora. (You can pry Law and Cora from my cold dead hands. You can separate them when I dissolve into ashes). Don't worry as he gets older his sickness is cured. Ofc he's cured by Cora. He's saved by Cora in every universe. In every AU. Every Era. Every life they will ever live. I will die on that hill– *applies the nobody dies/everyone lives tag on this AU* let my babies be happy pls. Let my man Cora live and travel the world with this emo boy (Law). Doffy isn't real, he can't hurt anyone. Ace is there. Sabo is there. Every One Piece character is out there somewhere. They're like hidden stones and you have 0.02% of finding them. I thought I was just making a Teacher!Buggy AU but then it turns into a Modern!AU for everyone. Let's gooooo. Sora divorces with Judge and remarry with Zeff so now Sanji lives with all his brothers and his sister. They get separate classrooms tho, and reiju is perona's age so she's besties with her. (I do not play by canon's rules with ages bc i live in my own world) They both tease their brothers (Sanji and Zoro) about their crushes on each other. The heart crew is there. Bepo is a dog, a very fluffy one. Kuina is alive. Kaya is there, same classroom with Usopp. I have no idea how to continue this lmao, but I do hope you find this interesting bc Buggy is 100% great with kids and probably teaches well bc he is a big nerd and makes lessons interesting. (Also, the whole reason why I wrote this instead of letting the idea slip through my mind like the others is bc the image of two goth men courting a clown looking mf was funny to me. So here we are lmao. The way I wrote this makes Shanks look like he's the person they let into their open relationship twice lol I'm so sorry 😭😭)

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

That's really sad, I really like this idea (though I see Shanks and Buggy more as siblings, but I understand the idea of Shuggy) It's fine that this became about so many people, I really like this.

Teacher!Buggy sounds so cool, you know that he's the flashiest and maybe one of the craziness of the things he'll do to get his students good things that will boost their learning. He knows that every kid might not have the same learning paths as others.

How many classes does this man teach? Who knows, too many for how much he gets paid. All teachers needs to get paid more.

I would think Jinbei and Brook being other fun teachers in the school, like Tom could be as well!

I really like this idea, and the imagine of two gothic men trying to court a clown-looking mf is really funny to me as well.

[dckweed]

Idea 3: Being in a relationship with Rooster but you didnt have much time together recently. So he decides to prepare something for you. A fancy dinner, candles and the night ends up with him giving you a massage where you both get really turned on, so also some sexy times are about to happen as well and a lot of cuddles afterwards 🥰

okay guys im back from my mini hiatus, i love a good ole rooster fic so much and im kinda enjoying the spoiling of reader w fancy things rn (probably bc today is my birthday, happy 24th to me :) ) anyway how are we doing today? are we hydrated? are we nourished with all the major nutrients? (carbs, proteins and fats?)

p.s. this is your sign to go get a one pound bag of jelly beans because you deserve it :)

p.s. again. it was my birthday when i wrote this last saturday (the 2nd)

THE NOT SO LITTLE THING, bradley 'rooster' bradshaw x reader

You and Bradley had been married for a couple of years now, however, the two of you had had a whirlwind romance in the empty space between his last deployment and his next one, you had dated for a good three months, both completely smitten with each other to the point of co-dependency in some ways, and when Bradley asked the question, a week before he was due to be deployed you didn't even hesitate to say yes.

The wedding was quick, you wore a beautifully simple white sun dress that you were able to pick up cheaply second hand, not having time to pick out a fancier one, you didn't mind (although you were certain your groom to be did), and were glowing with happiness when you met him at the courthouse the day of, your sister behind you with a camera and the ring that he had been saving for you, the one that his mom had left him.

Bradley kept a smaller print out of your official wedding photo in his wallet, he looked at it every day, showed it off to anyone who would listen (especially on that first deployment right after you guys had said 'i do'), you were beautiful, a smile on your face so radiant that he could feel the happiness through it every time he looked at it, on top of his own happiness. It was one of the best days of his life, right after the day that he had met you.

It was your third anniversary, and Bradley sat in the drivers seat of the Bronco looking down at that photo in his wallet, a smile on his face. The pair of you had been so busy lately, he had just gotten home from the Uranium mission, completely worn out, when he wasn't resting he was spending time with Mav, or working on his honey do list that you left him, and when you weren't busy at work (you were a school teacher), you were usually sleeping or cooking.

You guys hadn't had much time for each other lately, and he knew it was bothering you. Bradley, the good husband that he was, was going to fix it for you. He was on his way into the store, a list of ingredients in his hand for what he hoped was a simple enough recipe for shrimp fettucine, and he was going to pick up a bottle of your favorite wine as well.

Bradley was so proud to call you his wife, and couldn't believe it had already been three years together. He wanted to give you all of the things he knew you wanted, even if you never asked for them or complained about wanting them. He had been planning a honeymoon for the two of you since he had left on deployment a few months ago, and had just finished paying for the plane tickets when you had left for work this morning, giving him as long of a goodbye kiss as you possibly could before he sent you on your way with a smack to your ass that made you squeal with the laughter that he loved to hear. He hoped you didn't check the credit card statements any time soon though, you would probably cry.

Your day had been terribly long, you worked at a school for troubled kids, teaching high schoolers who were court mandated to attend schooling, and normally you loved your job, and you loved making an impact on your kids when they finally warmed up to you, but today had felt like a nightmare. One of the new students in your class had started an all out brawl in the middle of one of your fourth period lesson, resulting in them stabbing someone. You spent a majority of the rest of your school day and afternoon in the principals office, apologizing profusely to the victims parents and giving multiple statements to the police. You were shaken sure, but it wasn't your first time experiencing violence like this.

Needles to say, by the time you got home and dragged yourself over the threshold of the front door of the home you and Bradley had recently bought together you were exhausted and stressed, ready to throw yourself face first into bed.

The house was dark when you first walked in, and you hadn't seen his bronco in the driveway either, assuming you were alone you kicked off your shoes and undid the buttons on your blouse, muttering to under your breath the snarky pissed off response that you had wanted to give to your boss when he questioned you why this had happened, (as if it had been your fault) not expecting to find your husband standing behind you with two glasses of wine in his waiting hands.

"Rough day, honey?" He asks, eyeing you in the dim light of the entry way. He could tell from the way that your eyebrows were creased together in the middle of your forehead that something was wrong, that was typically a tell tale sign that you were overly worried or overly stressed about something.

You just look at him, shoulders slumping in relief as you rush to him, burying your face in his muscular chest. You breathe in his cologne and sigh happily as you wrap your arms around his middle, squeezing him as tight as you could. Bradley was a thick man through and through and hugging him properly was usually an issue for you as you were never able to get your arms all the way around him. You didn't mind too much though, it still brought you all the calming comfort you could ever need or want in the world.

"What are you doing home?" You ask after a moment, a small smile on your lips as you realize that your husband is awkwardly trying to hug you back with two wine glasses in his beefy hands. You take one from him, gulping down an appreciative sip before humming contentedly. "What smells so good?" You give the air a sniff, completely blowing off his question, not wanting to get into your nasty work day when he had so obviously done something special for you on your guys' anniversary.

Bradley knows what you're doing, he's not an easily distractible man and he knows that you know that, so he figures you must just not want to talk about it right now. "Well, my love, i figured that the two of us could have a quiet evening in to celebrate our love.." He says, grabbing your free hand and gently leading you through the kitchen and into the dining room.

You gasp when he moves from in front of you, set on the table was a a full meal surrounded by lit candles and your favorite flowers, a few petals scattered around the table. He had even remembered to put on a white table cloth too. It might have been the stress but the sight of it brought a tear to your eyes, and your husband noticed it almost immediately, his gaze never leaving your face. "Oh, Bradley!" You gush, setting your already half empty glass down on the table before your place your hands on his cheeks and bring him in for a kiss, his mustache tickling against your face as he pulls you flush against him with his free hand.

You moan as his tongue slips into your mouth, before whining pathetically when he pulls away from you with a groan.

"Not now baby, there's plenty of time for that later, okay?" He says smiling as you pout at him. It wasn't very often that he turned down a passionate kiss like that from you, so you figured you'd play along with his evening. "Want you nice and nourished tonight, you'll need the energy." He winks at you and you can't help but giggle, a happy smile making its way to his face as he pulls your chair out for you.

"Roo, did you do all of this yourself?" You ask, looking at your plate in awe. It was no secret that your husband was terrible in the kitchen (though he could grill a mean steak when he wanted to), and the fact that he put in the effort to do this for you made it all the more special to you.

His lips quirk at the use of his callsign as he sits across from you, the tips of his ears turning red from slight embarrassment as he tells you the truth; "I tried okay?" He sighs and you start laughing immediately, three years together and you knew just how badly things went in the kitchen for him. The man burnt toast every single time, it was no surprise to you that this wasn't made by his own hands. "I went to the store, i got all of the ingredients..I had a list, Y/N, a list!"

"Oh gosh, you really were prepared!" You chuckle, grinning from ear to ear at him through the candlelight. You can see the amusement on his face as well, a laugh coming from deep within his chest. You felt all of the stress of the day melt away from your mind as you basked in this sweet moment with your husband. "What happened when you got home?"

"The shrimp happened!" He exclaims and you cackle in laughter, the sound bringing him nothing but joy. "I wound up at Red Lobster last minute," He sees your eyes widen at the words, and knows exactly what you're thinking. He grins at you, slowly lifting a basket of rolls for you and handing them to you over the table.

"I would suck your dick so hard under the table right now, but i think im too in love with the cheddar bay biscuits.." You moan as you bite into one, still warm as if it had just freshly come out of the kitchen at your favorite restaurant. In the back of your mind you wondered just how last minute his trip to red lobster actually was.

Bradley rolls his eyes at your comment, but he basked in the glory of knowing that he knew his spouse well enough to know that would be your reaction, especially after it had clearly been such a stressful day for you.

The pair of you eat your food, your moans and giggles were the only sounds heard as he held your hand over the table, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb as he watched you eat. God, he thought, I wonder if this is how mom and dad felt..

After nearly an hour you both finish, and you finish off your third glass of wine, your body feeling warm and fuzzy as you lean towards him over the table. "What's for dessert, pretty boy?" Your voice is suggestive and so is your mouth as you bite your lip in the way that drove him crazy.

"Oh, sweet thing, you are." He says, standing from his seat, voice husky. He knows your thighs clench together from the way you shift in your seat, his words going straight to your pussy. He knew how to get his girl going, always had. "But first," He comes around the table, still holding your hand as he helps you stand up, pulling you flush against him. "But first, i have plans.."

"Oh?" You ask, letting your lips brush against his as he dips his head down towards yours, gasping when the hand that wasn't holding yours squeezes your ass cheek. A low growls rumbles in your husbands chest, a gleam in his brown eyes.

"Go strip and lay face down on the bed." He squeezes your ass again, rougher than before and sends you on your way out of the dining room, listening as you make your way quickly down the hallway with a 'yes sir' that makes his cock stiffen in his jeans.

You strip down quickly, kicking your wide legged slacks to the side, and your camisole drops down next to it. You take your bra off, but leave your panties on, hoping he would partially be able to enjoy the new lace thong and bra set you had bought for tonight as you lay face down in the middle of the bed, as he had requested.

After a few quiet moments you hear his heavy footfalls coming down the hallway and you bite your lip in anticipation, wondering what exactly your husband had in store for you tonight. "Such an obedient wife," You hear him say, the strong scent of lavender reaching your senses as you feel the bed dip. "This for me?" His voice his husky, his lips soft. His mustache tickles the skin of your tailbone as he places a kiss to the bit of your thong that rests against your back. You hum in response as his lips move up to the dip of your spine, trailing slowly up your back as his large thighs find themselves on either side of your body, the rest of him hovering over you. "So beautiful, baby..always so beautiful."

You sigh in bliss as you feel his hands come up to your shoulders, kneading them as he rubs oil into the skin. You hadn't expected this from him, he was usually the type who could hardly ever focus long enough to give you a massage like this, but you could tell that he had put thought into this as well by the oil he was using, and the pressure he was putting on the space between your shoulders, all of the days tension leaving them almost instantly.

"So good baby.." You moan, feeling his weight start to shift down your back, his hands following with it.

"You've been working so hard baby," His voice is still gruff, but it's sincere as his fingers keep working your skin, the strong digits digging in deeper the farther down he goes. "been taking care of me so good since ive been back, of those kids at school.." You feel one of his hands slip down the small of your back, right past the waist band of your panties, and before you know it, one of his large fingers his pushing into your already soaking hole, curling as he does. "..it's time for me to take care of my wife, huh? whatever you need from me tonight baby, it's all yours pretty girl.."

His words go straight to your pussy, your heat clenching down around his finger and he sighs at the feeling, something that only turns you on farther. It had been so long since the two of you had been able to have a night like this, from the deployment he was on, and then straight to the uranium mission..you'd barely seen each other, let alone fucked each other like the mindless savages you two could be together in the bedroom. To say you were depraved by this point would be an understatement, you were down right starving for you husband, and his cock too.

"..roo, please baby.." You honestly don't even know what you're asking for, to keep fucking you with his fingers? to keep massaging you (because it did feel oh so fucking good to have his magical hands do things like that to you)? to fuck you so cockdrunk stupid that you would have to call into work tomorrow morning? fuck, maybe you wanted all of it, maybe you were so fucking needy for the man that had two of his fingers buried up to his knuckle in your cunt that you didn't give two shits what he did to you, as long as he did something.

He seems to know the answers for you because with a grunt he's shifted down your back, his legs on either side of your own now. Before you know it his large hands are spreading your supple ass cheeks apart and his tongue is on your dripping hole in no time, greedily eating you with your lacey panties (if they could honestly even be called panties with how tiny they were) still on.

"Oh god..." You shudder, your head dropping down into the comforter of your perfectly made bed, your hands fisting the crisp linens, wrinkling them all to hell.

"Not god, sweet thing, just me.." His voice is so thick with lust that he could probably talk you into your first orgasm of the night if he wanted to, but judging from the way that you could feel his hard as a rock cock pressing against the back of your legs you knew that he didn't want to waste time on such trivial foreplay, and, you decided that you didn't want to either, not when you could do it later..not when you needed to feel him in you right that very second stuffing you so full you'd feel him for days afterwards.

"..Need you b-ahh shit.." Bradley must have had the exact same thought pattern as you, that or he could read your damn mind, because the thin material of your thong is pushed unceremoniously to the side as his cock slides into your already sopping pussy. Not only is your husband long, but just like the rest of his body, is cock is also incredibly fucking thick and you feel every glorious bit of his beautiful member stretching your gummy walls out as he slides all the way in, a low groan escaping his throat as he does.

One of his hands goes to your shoulder, gripping it for leverage as he moves long and slow in a few thrusts, testing the waters for a moment. "Feels like fucking home, baby.." He whispers, his mustache tickling the skin of your neck as he places a soft, gentle kiss to the back of it, the total opposite to what he does next. You hear the smack before you register the sting, your ass cheek smarting from the force of the blow he had delt it as he starts fucking you harshly, using the abusing hand to go down to your hips and lift them up just the slightest, giving him a whole different depth within you that you swear you didn't know was even possible.

You squeal a high pitched groan, praising your husband as he pumps his cock in and out of you at an almost brutal pace, you feel him hitting that spongey part of you with every beautiful roll of his hips, rearranging your guts in the most delicious of ways.

It's not long before he has you seeing stars, your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your pussy clamps down so tightly that he cums instantly at the feel of it. "Holy fucking shit..pussy s'fuckin' good can't even control m'self..luckiest son of a bitch in the world aren't I?" He babbles, only slightly pussy drunk as he continues to piston into you, pace unwavering as he pushes his cum deep into your soaking cunt as you try to recover from the orgasm he'd just given you within merely a couple of minutes of fucking you.

"m'so good baby," You mewl, legs trembling beneath you. "Please, please, please, please.." You chant, completely unknowing what you're begging him for, but you know you want something. His cock and his hands all over your body have you so warm and tingly that you can't even form coherent thoughts let alone words and you know that he's just fine with doing all the thinking for you right now.

And like the dutiful husband he is, he does just that. His weight shifts, and with a sad whine you realize that his cock is no longer in your, his cum free to fall out of your hole as he shifts your bodies, laying in the middle of your guys' bed as he pulls you on top of him, one hand holding his still stiff cock as the other guides you down onto it, his large hand splayed across your back, just above your ass as you start bouncing on him, hands on his chest to support you.

"Bradley, baby, so fucking deep.." You whine, head thrown back as your tits bounce with every movement. He grunts beneath you, his fingers digging into your back as he starts pistons up into you, meeting your every bounce with one of his own. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the room and the sinfulness of that alone makes your pussy clamp down onto him again, his cock hitting the places that make you feral.

After a while your thighs start to burn from the effort, but it doesn't seem to affect Bradley so much, he continues fucking up into your hot, wet cunt, and uses his hands on your hips (squeezing so hard that you know for certain his fingerprints are going to be left for day on your skin), you look down at him, unable to form any words other than his name, the sound rolling off of your tongue in a chant so high that you worry the neighbors might call the police (lord knows it wouldn't be the first time), you watch his biceps flex with every movement made to lift your body up with such ease its as if you weigh nothing to him, the sinewy muscle supporting you like you were the weight of air.

Your fingers claw into the skin of your chest and your husband groans, words leaving his mouth that you cant quite make out as your ears rings with the force of your second orgasm rolling through you, hitting you like a hurricane hits the land. Your head lolls forward, slack jawed as you cum harder than you think you ever have before. The sight of you must do something to Rooster because within seconds you feel his cum painting your walls once more, and his thrusts slow to a stop.

You collapse onto him, both of your chests heaving as you His hands move from your hips, ghosting along your spine and you damn near purr as they land in your hair, grasping the back of your head to lift you up into a sloppy, heated kiss, tongues and teeth clashing together as he presses you against his still heaving body. His mustache tickles your skin and you pull away from him with a delirious giggle. "I fucking love you, Rooster."

"I fucking love you too, sweet thing.." He chuckles, tucking a strand of hair behind your sweaty ear as he smiles up at you with the same loving look he had given you on your guys' wedding day, the same one that made the feeling of love spread from the top of your head to the bottoms of your toes. "Which is why, as a present for both of us, i booked us that honeymoon trip you always talked about.."

Your body snaps up, brain on full alert now. He looks up at you with a shit eating grin, and you can't keep the shock off of your face. "Virgin Islands?" You ask, he nods once, proud smirk still adorning that handsome fucking face of his. "Bradley oh my god..are you sure we can afford it? We just bought the house.."

His hand cups your cheek, thumb slipping into your mouth to shut you up. "Don't worry your pretty little head baby, we both deserve it, i already got approved for leave from work, and..i might have already told your boss about it as well.." He says, his tone telling you that you shouldn't argue with it, or even worry one bit about it. He wanted you to enjoy yourself. He wanted you to be carefree and happy. "Besides, what better way to celebrate three perfect years together than by taking our hard earned honeymoon?"

You quirk an eyebrow at him as he takes his thumb out of your mouth. "I dont know," You say, grinding down onto his miraculously still hard cock. "I think i could think of something just a little bit better.."

"Oh, you're in for it now babygirl.." He growls, throwing you onto your back as you giggle wildly, knowing damn well you were about to call into work in the morning.

[hua-fei-hua]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @justpastsaturn~!! man it's been a while since i've partaken in something like this lol

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

63! 64 if you count the random anon one i don't technically write but for which i do overly-elaborate html for a friend. and um. a lot more if we want to also count each chapter of the single-ship ficlet collection works i have as a separate work ehe.

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

heh. 772,261 words since june 2016. C:<

3. what fandoms do you write for?

these days just genshin, but in the past i did jjk, bnha, soul eater, flip flappers, and attack on titan. a number of years ago i also had a fma fic up on ffn, but i deleted it and never ported it to ao3. should still be on my google drive, though.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

//HEAVY SIGH.

sparklers (BnHA), 939 kudos

Orchid in Bloom (BnHA), 476 kudos

the diner at the end of the night (JJK), 474 kudos

Fermata (BnHA), 413 kudos

Veneer (BnHA), 368 kudos

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do!!! mostly it's bc i have can't-shut-up disease, but through the years, i've also found it to be a really good community-building exercise!!!! i'm not the type of person to get involved in fandom discord servers, so i've come to really treasure the friendly environment the comments section of a wip can foster, as well as the friends i've made because of it~

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i am actually a hardcore happy-ending person myself, so pretty much all of them end with some sense of hope. there's a kagerou days au i wrote for bnha back in the day, though, so i guess time looping to die for one another infinitely counts here.

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

tbh i have a hard time quantifying the happiness of all the different endings i've written, esp since it's been years since i've written simple self-indulgent "and then they all lived happily ever after the end" kinds of endings ahahaha,,,

8. do you get hate on fics?

no but someone impersonating me left a hate comment in my name on a fe3h byleth hannibal au back in may 2021. that was crazy i hope ao3 user dikhotomia is living their best life writing whatever the fuck they want after that incident.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

i wrote exactly one (1) explicit fic which was literally just a 16k word sex scene bc the logical endpoint to xiao genshinimpact's character arc is that he needs to get fucked. i don't make the rules. outside of studying blorbo, though, i don't really feel any compulsion to write smut

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

nah. i'll write fusion aus, where cast a goes into setting b and may or may not try to retell the story of canon b, but i like to put the "transformative" into "transformative works" in those situations, to the point where people sometimes can't tell what story i'm basing the narrative off of LOL

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my memory or knowledge, no.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, several times!! mostly back in my bnha days, where i had one fic (partially) translated into chinese and russian, a different fic reviewed and fully translated into chinese; going even farther back, i also once had a query to translate one of my snk fics into french, but i never really heard back from that person so i assume that one fell through.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i'd say yes. there's the aforementioned fic i do the overly-elaborate html for, but also back in high school, a couple friends n i sat around my computer between rounds at a speech tournament and took turns turning one of my kouhai's scripts into a bnha fic that kept on going off the rails bc i implemented a "no backspacing" rule and once our turn typing was over, we had to have our hands-off the computer until it was our turn again.

14. what's your all-time favorite ship?

let's just cut to the chase and make this post timeless: i like it when a ship is basically just MONSTER x MONSTER FUCKER. if not on a literal level, then a spiritual/metaphorical level! bonus points if both parties think the other person is the monster fucker!!!!

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

well i actually recently decided to let go of zenith, so i don't really have any "i wish i could finish this" thoughts abt it anymore tbh... i think abt finishing my html sanitizer 2.0 so that i can post the notes for it more conveniently though lol

16. what are your writing strengths?

heh. bitches love my characterization. and imagery/use of metaphor!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

SOMEONE will probably snipe me if i say poetry, but i still find my poems to be rather stiff and overly-literal, so i still consider poetry to be a weakness of mine. and fight scenes. DEFINITELY #1 weakness fight scenes.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

for a word here or two there, i don't mind as long as it's culturally appropriate. (you will pry my dearly beloved "aiya" out of my cold dead hands) like that's just how people talk in real life. for longer sentences or conversations, then i'd like it if there are translation notes left somewhere. at the very least, i'd kind of like a narrative or aesthetic reason if the meaning can't be parsed from context alone.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

pokemon, if we're counting my being five years old and unaware of what fanfiction is! otherwise, attack on titan or my little pony.

20. favorite fic you've written?

tbh i try not to play favorites w/my fics anymore, since if a darling of mine doesn't get the attention i think it deserves, i end up having a tough time getting over it emotionally, which has sometimes led to unnecessary bitterness and resentment towards the fic or even fandom/community itself.

tagging~ @kanonavi, @cadriona, @tempests-bards-and-birds, @followerofmercy, @chickycherrycola, and anyone else who might feel like it hehe

[toomuchracket]

omg what if band!gf wrote "want you back" by haim and ross is freaking out like she wants her ex back????? no she's mine. him ranting to matty and matty knowing all the lore about her ex bc he's a stan

i'm cackling at this ok right so you're not doing lead vocal on the track or anything but ross is still quietly panicking about it to matty, who before ross can even finish his "what if she-" replies "no, he was a dick to her. completely vile. worst of the worst. there's no way". ross is like "and you know this how?", and matty literally just shrugs and says "i know the lore. i'm very invested in the background behind that EP. modern masterpiece" lmfao. anyway, ross won't bring it up to you, but it's eating away at him, so matty calls you from the studio and says "please for the love of god can you reassure your boyfriend you don't want your ex back? he's spiralling cos you wrote that song. and i've tried to tell him! but god knows he won't listen to ME". and you're like "yeah i wrote the MUSIC, not the lyrics!! put him on the phone", and when ross is sheepishly like "hi babe" you're like "sweetie. don't be fucking stupid. you're the love of my life. and all i did on that song was write a guitar line under stella's lyrics about fumbling her ex-girlfriend lol". and ross laughs and says "i love you. and i can't believe stella finally admitted what we all knew, christ. only took her a year and a half!", and you're like "literally. anyway, can i come down to the studio for a bit? miss you", and ross is like "please!! might have to cling onto you the entire time so you don't get roped into working, though", and you're like "as if i'm going to complain about that lol". cute!! <3

[clemswinecorner-socials]

Podcasts [MA]

Ok hello, I usually don't add A/N especially months after posting BUT since Lissie is an evident side character whilst reader is dating Marcus I just felt like I had to say I wrote this before they started dating (before the pitstop boys and Lissie went on screamingmeals, even) so yeah thanks enjoy!!

Yourusername

liked by olliebearman, callum_ilott and others

yourusername i love my job (ferrari edition) tagged scuderiaferrari, pitstop, carlossainz55, olliebearman, charles_leclerc

posted march 15th, 2022

obsessedwithf1 omg are you going to be on pitstop?!

yourusername not this time, was just there with ollie the other week :)

forzaferrari aw i love that fan pic carlosmiamor it's all so cute and aesthetic and then there's the last one 💀 pitstop just so you know you’re next livelaughlyds cute! 😍 juanmanuelcorrea_ mate, can you teach me to make my insta look this nice

yourusername just work with ferrari bro

... view more comments

Yourusername

liked by marcusarmstrong, lissiemackintosh and others

yourusername happy birthday to my bestie and light of my life lis 💜 you're doing so well and deserve all the good things coming your way, i love you <3 also i'm on the next going purple coming out Tuesday xo tagged lissiemackintosh

posted april 27th, 2023

lissiemackintosh stop it i love you so much🥹 scuderiaferrari happy birthday lissie!💜❤️ fanaccount the first one!! love all of these🥰 screamingmealsfan this is so cute!! happy birthday to the icon!

... view more comments

Yourusername

liked by akfabiobocca, felipedrugovich and others

yourusername surprise!! they let me on screamingmeals, and i went to going purple and pitstop!! go listen to them they're all very different vibes but very fun and all out right now!!����🏼🫶🏼 tagged screamingmeals, jamesharveyblair, clementnovalak, pitstop, jakeboys, akfabiobocca, lissiemackintosh

posted may 10th, 2023

jakeboys "pose for the gram" and then this is what we get jakymoonfan so glad i was wrong about you not knowing the sm boys very well bc this was hilarious lissiemackintosh you're welcome back anytime, i loved this so much💜💜

yourusername omg please i would join you any day

clementfan need you as a permanent screamingmeals member asap tbh marcusarmstrong next one in nz? 👌🏼👌🏼

... view more comments

Yourusername

liked by jakcrawford_, paularon_ and others

yourusername part time manager, part time content creator and now also part time podcast co-co-co-host. richard for sure episode out now! tagged richardverschoor, marcusarmstrong, jamesharveyblair, clementnovalak

posted june 15th, 2023

jamesharveyblair thanks for joining our shittalking👍🏼 richardverschoor had a good time! screamingmealsfan YN AS A PERMANENT SM MEMBER!! WEVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE clementnovalak clemswinecorner ft yns cocktailchat? livelaughleclerc marcus sitting across from y/n- byeee the way yall look at each other🫠🫠

... view more comments

Yourusername

liked by juanmanuelcorrea_, clementnovalak and others

yourusername guess what, i'm dating this guy! bet no one saw this one coming ;) tagged marcusarmstrong

posted july 25th, 2023

clementnovalak you have me to thank for that first pic btw

yourusername im aware but since this is a launch i thought i'd keep the spotlight on us

lissiemackintosh favs formulaslay obsessed w the variety in these pics jamesharveyblair disgustingly cute yourfan brb sleeping on the highway🥰 armstrongs welcome to the family

yourusername admin we've been facetiming for months😐😐

... view more comments

Yourusername

liked by paris_armstrong, robertschwartzman and others

yourusername recents i took (aka boyfriend dump) tagged marcusarmstrong

posted august 18th, 2023

felipedrugovich look at those abs mate 😍 yourusername oh i know screamingmealsfan i just died dead. screamingmealslover i don't know how many 'me and who's i got left marcusarmstrong cheers🍾

... view more comments

other social media works & main writing masterlist