#because I just needed to vent because I cannot talk to people like this anymore lmao

[benjaycaptain]

I feel like I’m going insane lmaooo

Because I don’t hate the movie, it gives me “greater insight” to see… the actual plot of the movie?? What kind of logic is that?? Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s dogshit? Like yeah it isn’t without criticism, but really now.

“Everyone was content [until she learns *her* family’s wishes won’t be granted]” like. Hello? What part of her saying “you make them forget” did not land??? Of course they were content when they were brainwashed and fed lies (the repeated “give without regret” line is actually sinister!). And while yes it started with her grandpa, she was horrified when she realizes, and the king confirms, that most of the kingdom’s wis/hes will just be kept there, while the people — who have been *changed* because they gave up the best part of them without truly realizing what that meant — continue living in a bubble of the king’s own making

Like I really do feel like people didn’t actually watch the movie or, if they did, did so with one eye open just so they can continue being angry at it for whatever reason

[faerygardenparty]

I feel like I can’t escape manipulative and abusive people when it comes to making friends it’s like every couple of years I meet someone new and by the time I get to know them it just feels like

[thatdemiboymess]

Even just half-heartedly looking for work as someone who is legally blind, autistic, with no highschool diploma, GED, or degrees and who can't leave the house is a very specific kind of let-down and disappointment that just really makes a person depressed.

[saturn-zer0]

Academic vent post?-

It's a pain balancing between dark academia, light academia, and chaotic academia.

Dark academia: That strong desire to be better, to do better, to succeed above everyone else because that's what you've been told to be your whole life. Not even that. I was that person, I did succeed over everyone else. Wrapping myself away in literature and fine arts and history and languages. And I did find enjoyment in it all, but it was taken from me by the cruel hands of my family, my peers, my past partners, the institutions that chewed me up for my talents and spat me out to be left with an empty heart. And I was told I would succeed my whole life, and that kind of pressure destroys children. Now I'm desperately clinging onto the little talent I have left but it's not enough anymore. I can scream all I want to be better than my classmates, but in the end I just feel like a foolish child. Late to classes, missing classes entirely, forgetting homework, no revision done, and no time to even endulge in my own personal study. But the desire to be better will always be the bitter taste left upon my tongue, choking me out.

Light academia: The pure joy produced from the one topic that settled in your heart and never left. Literature comes to me naturely, the analysis, the imagery, the symbolism, the metaphors, the rhyming, the stage settings, it all combines into what I like to call my soul. People talk of soulmates, and literature is what I would call my soulsubject. The love I had as a kid only grew, and while the dreams to be an author dissappeared over time, it has only been crafted into my dream to be a lecturer. Proclaiming and sharing the adoration that I have for the one thing that has kept me going in my life, fueling my very being, in the hopes that at least one student, at least one, will find the solace that I also found myself. But the pressure that comes with that? The pressure to help those understand literature when at times I struggle to even understand myself? And if I fail? What comes next? I cannot help but put the weight of the world in my hands.

Chaotic academia: The rebellion, and the excitement that emits from it. The detachment of pressures that come with both dark and light academia. That feeling when you do skip a class, and yet can come back the next lesson and prove that you know what you're doing. The chaotic array of notes that can be barely defined as revision. But it works. The pressure is alleviated but at what cost? What am I to do when the chaos needs to be calmed? Because chaos is not agreed upon by the rest of the world, and in thriving in chaos, you are simply subjecting yourself to a life filled with hatred.

[infiniteko]

Hello Ko! I'm so glad you joined Tumblr, I think out of everyone I know and follow, you are the most trustworthy person to get information from. You truly know what you're talking about and you're very very helpful to us with questions. ❤️ I'm gonna try to make this as short as possible because I don't want to make you read a long, rant-ish question. Basically, I really really need some guidance/advice. Like I need some serioussss help..

For about 6 years, I've been "trying" to manifest, reality shift etc. I was focused on desires and getting. I was focused on doing methods to get things and "trying" things. would look all the time for information and "how to's" because I just wanted to shift realities so badly so I could experience all of the crazy things I would imagine. Nothing ever worked for me, not once in those 6 years. I eventually started to panic and think I was wasting years of my life on stuff that wasn't real (yet I'd still hope and try anyway) however I found non-dualism. Like I said, I was VERY focused on desires and getting, so as much as I told myself that I understand non-dualism, deep down I was still attached to ego and understood nothing. I viewed nondualism as a method. I still wanted desires deep down, even if I tried to say "No I want to be free!". I've now come to accept that if I truly want to be free, I need to genuinely STOP seeking desires and things of the ego. I need to accept that if I'm gonna be stuck on desiring, then ND isn't for me. So with that said, I told myself I'd follow non dualism properly and I wouldn't use it as a manifestation or shifting method.

This is the part where I ask for advice. When you're someone who has been stuck up on wanting to shift realities and get things so badly, for SO long, it's hard to let it all go suddenly. I don't know how to drop these thoughts that I get. I feel delusional and depressed because I hate this "life". I remind myself that it isn't real but then I feel insane and I tell myself I need to accept reality and stop hoping for miracles. I no longer wish to fulfill desires or use methods, I want to be free from feeling like this, I want to genuinely not live as if I'm ego anymore but it feels like my thoughts never stop. In the back of my mind, I always think "but I just wanna shift" "I'm delusional" "I am this body/mind"

Ko, I need any kind of guidance. Is there some materials I should read? I'll honestly read whatever books necessary. I don't know what to do 😅 I want to have the same understanding you do. I go to sleep every night thinking "maybe I can wake up in a new reality" and it completely defeats the purpose of me having no duality. I'm always hoping and trying, even when I don't want to "hope" or "try". I get so confused so easily and I think about going back to manifestation, but it never worked and I got depressed because of it. I want to free myself from these ego emotions, free from thinking I need this or that, free from having duality. I want to TRULY understand nondualism and live that way. Forgive me if this is long! I didn't intend to trauma dump or vent in your ask box, like I said before you're just one of the people I trust most. You're very knowledgeable on nondualism and I appreciate your posts very very much 🤍

First step, understand that Non dualism is ONLY(!!!!!!!!!!) a POINTER to what 'you' are. Being fixiated on 'trying to understand ND' is a trap you shouldn't fall into. I used it as a pointer(!) i do not "practise" any concepts.

I cannot stress enough how it is ONLY A POINTER, NOT THE "SOLUTION" NOR "ABSOLUTE TRUTH". "THAT" which you fundamentally are, IS Absolute.

Who has been "trying" all this time? -> The 'person' you THINK you are.

Who "wants" to understand? -> The 'person' you THINK you are

Use it as a pointer and then drop it.

I'm so serious, NEVER see it as the solution, it is a trap to do so. It will help as a start but go BEYOND that. It is nothing but another concept TO HELP.

A lot of you speak about the "ego" like it is some separate entity causing confusion and suffering but it is not. It is ONLY(!!!!!) who you THINK(!!!!) you are. If you stopped thinking about it, could you tell me who you seemingly are?

There are no books needed to """understand""" the basics of this concept, even if you read it, to drop it and be beyond such illusory concepts, is something that is done with or without books.

What you are can NEVER be defined. "THAT" has no name, no label, no characteristics. Nothingness. Yet it seems(!!!!!!) to contain "everything".. but "everything" = "nothingness".

By repeatedly returning to "Nothingness", it becomes clear that you never actually left that "Nothingness" and that it is everywhere.

Drop every label and concept. Everything you SEEM to know. What are you left with?

-> " "

If 'you' want to, you can listen to "YourHigherSelf" on YouTube or the shorter videos of Swami Sarvapriyananda on YouTube.

But again, seeking continously for the Absolute, is a funny game and an even funnier trap. Have enough discipline to not do that and simply BE.

[seraphicalsuccubus]

I just wanna make a post because I’ve gotten tons of worried asks about my absence and wishing I’m okay and everything (and I will answer them I promise, I do really appreciate y’all checking in on me). but this is going to be a LONG post so if you’re actually gonna read it, strap in babes.

anyways, my life has virtually become a dystopian hell and I’m not kidding you. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I feel like I’m under house arrest because I’m just not allowed to do fucking anything anymore. I pretty much cannot leave my house, not even to get groceries. I cannot ask my roommate to pick up anything for me on her way home from work because she bitches about it and makes some excuse not to even if it’s something I desperately need. I haven’t had a single human interaction with ANYONE even my former best friend/roommate since the end of January until this week when I just fucking lost it and vented to my aunt and had her get me a dispensary order because I can’t leave my house to get one myself anymore and she came to hang out and spend some time with me and talk about everything for a couple hours. and that’s the bare bones of what’s going on. there’s so much fucking more piled to it but I’ll just give you the gist of it. I literally told my therapist that if I didn’t get the fuck out of here soon, I will probably slit my wrists and bleed out in the bathtub. like if I cannot run away and escape all this shit, I will be leaving this house in a body bag because I honestly just do not know how much more of this shit I can take.

I have been so unbelievably stressed. I have picked every tiny cut, scratch, ingrown hair, pimple, everything that could be picked open, into huge gaping wounds all over my legs and specifically, I had two tiny cat scratches on my stomach from one of my cats kneading on me and not being too gentle with her claws, and i picked those TINY cuts into gaping wounds bigger than the size of dollar coins. two of them. right next to each other. they were so bad that I thought they were legitimately going to get infected and cause me problems. but they’re finally healing and starting to scar because I HAD to bandage them. like if I did not bandage them and change the bandage twice a day, they would have become infected and been a huge problem. that’s how bad those two specifically were.

not only this, but I have also PICKED A FUCKING BALD SPOT ON MY SCALP near my widow’s peak, but thankfully it’s on the side my hair flops over from so it’s covered. but it’s still there and it makes me horribly insecure and I don’t know if it’s like a scab that’ll eventually fall off and something will grow back from it or if it’s a scar and I’ll have this bald spot forever to be insecure of and self conscious of all the time. literally only time will give me the answer to that. but I am fucking 26 years old and have picked myself to PIECES and BALD SPOTS due to stress. I am literally falling the fuck apart.

and not only that, but I was just informed that I need to be conscious and aware of the fact that I may have fucking lupus because two of my dad’s sisters have it (one confirmed diagnosis and the other a suspicion but that’s enough of a reason for me to be worried about it) and I’m too terrified to get tested or whatever to start the process of getting that diagnosis. like the one thing I’ve always been so fucking afraid of is having an autoimmune disease and my fear of that may have fucking manifested one fucking for me and I’m really struggling with the potential that I may have to deal with that, along with my other health issues and mental health issues and shit.

I just. I have been going through a REALLY rough fucking time. and I am sorry, I am so sorry for the lack of posts or explanations or not answering anyone’s asks or messages aside from the two people I talk to daily because I just mentally cannot handle conversations through all this shit, and for making anyone genuinely concerned about me because of my absence and shit. I wish I could say you shouldn’t worry, but honestly, I’m incredibly worried about myself and that reason alone should scare anyone that knows me because I’m NEVER worried about myself. I’m sorry. I wish I could say I’m okay and I’m thriving and my lack of presence on here was a GOOD thing because I’m doing well and not thinking about social media, but it’s not. it’s a very bad thing. I don’t leave my bed every day unless it’s to take care of my cats. I can’t remember the last day I actually ate a meal or even a snack. the only hydration I get is like the 3 sips of whatever I use to take my meds every morning and night. I have no drive to create content so my income has dropped SO dramatically that I am barely scraping by to pay my bills. I haven’t gamed. I haven’t caught up on any of the shows I was excited for and watching before all this. I haven’t done laundry in god only knows how long and I’m literally running out of clean clothes to wear. I literally only brush my hair before I get on FaceTime with a friend or my boyfriend, otherwise it’s a knotted mess. I’ve showered to clean my body because I feel disgusting being dirty but I have not washed my hair since I had these extensions installed. I do not have the energy to wash this much fucking hair right now. and do you know when these were installed? February 12th. I have not washed my fucking hair in over a month and I feel so fucking repulsive because of it. my hair is my pride and joy. I have such expensive quality products for it. I take care of it. I love my hair. and I cannot even find the energy to wash it when I’m already in the shower just to wash my body/face because I just am so depressed that I can’t even find the energy to do it WHILE ALREADY IN THE SHOWER. I usually go 7-10 days without washing my hair to prolong the life of my extensions and my hair dye and shit because my hair doesn’t get greasy quickly or dry so I can push it that long and just do like body wash/skincare showers in between. but it’s been over a month. over a FUCKING MONTH. since I’ve been able to find the energy to just wash my fucking hair even when I’m already in the shower. do you know how pathetic that feels?

I’m sorry this was such a heavy post. for anyone that actually read through it, I’m sorry. I’ve been internalizing a lot of this shit and this isn’t even the icing on the fucking cake. this is the bare minimum of what I’m dealing with. it’s so much more convoluted and fucked up and abusive than I’m explaining on here and I’m sorry for venting about the things that I did. but I’ll leave it there. I won’t get into the rest.

if you read this far, I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time with this long of a post just to get shit off my chest. I hope you’re having a really good day, or that your day gets better, your weekend goes well, and that you have some good karma headed your way. I wish you all the best. thank you for listening. I appreciate it. 🖤

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

I just cannot get over this one kid in the cinema who went "But he isn't evil!"

We are talking children here! Children don't really know or understand anything about ptsd and trauma (mostly, yet) they just observe! And if a KID between the age of 5 and 10 observes Magnifico and can read between the lines and conclude he isn't evil, what excuse does that leave for haters calling him one?

Now, more analysing cause you've been loving those and I enjoy doing them 🛡⚔️ (I might repeat some points but in a alightly different way)

Every single arguement I've seen haters or anti-Magnifico people make so far was either straight up stupid, ignorant, uneducated, defiant, baseless and or senseless. And then we also have the hardcore Amaya/Asha fans who just go on hating on Magnifico just "because!"

Or those who go "He's the worst villain ever." Yeah, Sherlock, maybe thats because he isn't one? 🤨 Like, seriously, you take Magnifico, compare him to aaaaall the REAL villains like Jafar, Frollo, Scar etc. And you wanna tell me he was anything like them because his trauma forced him to get himself posessed by evil trapped in an evil book and only went bonkers after he was literally posessed? And his sole motivation was to protect and keep safe at all costs ?

And then come the arguements 🫴🏼

"He's vain and narcissistic!"

Because he acknowledges the fact that he's handsome and like's to see himself in mirrors? 🤨

"He didn't grant every single wish! He shouldn't have kept them."

He didn't grant every single wish because of his trauma caused fear/paranoia and kept them for the same exact reason. However, he always meant well.

Yes, I agree that a traumatized person shouldn't be in any leading position, nor should they be in the position of making important decissions. But lets take a look at his motivations and goals again!

His motivations :

- Never have anyone suffer a fate like he did

- Never have people have to see their hopes and dreams get shattered

- Never have his past repeat

Quote - "Everything I do is to make sure that never happens again!"

His goals :

- Protect and keep people safe

- Make sure people live happy, content, free of hardships and strive

Further comparisons

All the other villains when singing - Sing openly about their evil plans, desires etc. showing they're evil!

Magnifico when bursting into song :

"promise as one does, I will protect you at all costs. Keep you safe here in my arms. I will protect you at all costs."

"If you're ever feeling like you're lost, I'll come find you. Man all fronts, there's no ocean I won't swim across to be right by you. And not just once, here and now I swear on my response. I'll remind you-"

"I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent. I clean up all your messes and I'm always there when you need to vent. I give and give and give and give, you'd think they'd all be content. And all I really want is just a little respect."

Back to the arguements Anti-Magnifico people make and even more comparisons ⬇️

More for the vain and narcissistic

Gaston - treats everyone like trash and thinks the whole globe spinns around him only. Doesn't care if he walks over dead bodies looking good.

Evil queen - Wants to kill her stepdaughter because she's prettier than her.

Mother gothel - Kidnaps the baby princess, locks her up because the magic hair makes her stay young and pretty, doesn't give a toot that the king and queen are suffering immense heartbreak and guilt. And to keep the princess locked in, gaslights and belittles her.

And then we have Magnifico ✨️

"I'm handsome and I know it." Likes to look at himself in the mirror and is happy and content with his looks. Hurts not one single fly with it. Doesn't put others down.

"He's power hungry!"

Why did he want to keep his power? - Because he was terrified if he would lose it, he wouldn't be able to protect anymore and his past would repeat.

"He threatened everyone and destroyed wishes!"

Again, he was posessed? Do people understand what posessed means? Amaya knew this book would control him! Not him controling the book!

In the end, I don't even care for people who disagree with me. But one thing I just don't get is : Why are some people so out to prove to us Magnifico-defenders that he's evil? Like, are these guys for real? We push forgiveness and love and the other side pushes hate, ignorance, unforgiveness and bitterness. Why does someone feel the need to spread negativity rather than positivity?

I won't stop defending Magnifico 🛡⚔️🩵

[tsams-confessions]

I think we need to make peace with this. Us Sun fans will never get the closure we want. Earth and Moon and Lunar and all the rest will have great story-lines and break-downs and have emotions and then heal and come through it. And Sun will just sit at home and be fine all off-screen. We get it. The people who don't like Sun or don't want him to be in the show as much have basically won, and the worst part is that I'm pretty sure I know the ones who have probly told the voice actors about the headcannons and posts that Sun fan blogs make, and it kind of makes me angry. People cannot even make posts on their own blogs anymore? I don't know, I guess I'm just feeling very sad that this is the final proof that SUn's whole character journey started last year is over. There is no cool reveal coming or him just talking about the past. It's buried, and he's fine because somehow he got over it all off-screen. And we just have to live with that. Making more room for the popular characters angst like Moon and Solar and stuff. It really hurts to have your favorite be the one that the writers don't even really invest anything in. Even worse is he's one of the two original characters, but they very clearly don't know what to do with him anymore and don't care. I don't know where I'm going with this, I guess I needed to vent. I'll just bury myself in fanfictions with the few writers who write Sun better than the show ever could, and probably just stop watching for a while. I just feel so mocked and unseen. It hurts a lot.

.

[moxpunk]

On this International Asexuality Day, I once again write about my experience with ace-ness and how it deviates from the wider slush-mix of how people think of ace people.

Honestly, I've had a number of frustrating encounters because of what people see as the "asexuality" since I've begun to identify as ace (wow, it's been less than two years?). I've had multiple encounters with friends/crushes/potential partners where they just assumed I'm not interested in romance or flirting whatsoever, they assume I'm aromantic in addition to asexual. I've had to explain on numerous occasions "Yes, I'm asexual. Yes, I'm gay and want romantic partners," and most-importantly with my specific brand of asexuality, "Yes, I enjoy physical touch and kinks."

It's a little upsetting to me about how the prevalent Tumblr culture of asexuality wraps aromanticism into it, and how much it sucks that it's bled into stuff off-site. I have friends that I've done roleplay (my favorite hobby) with that just assume I don't want to write with them anymore and not interact with me until I had to sit down and explain to them that even before coming out they didn't push past my boundaries. It's exhausting to have to first come out to someone as asexual and then be like "Oh, sorry, yeah, I still enjoy kinks and talking about sex, I just don't want to experience sex."

The Tumblr "Hee hoo, what is sex? It sounds icky" gets under my skin so badly. I've had sex, I've had quite a bit of sex! I found out I fucking despise performing sex! The idea of two bodies smushed together is deeply appealing, I just cannot deal with the idea of penetration and the actual act of sex. I used to get anxiety so bad with my exes that I just assumed there was something wrong with my brain until finding out years later that I'm ace, where it all made sense. I do not relate to the memes of "I don't want partners", or "I think kissing is revolting", or "I think physical touch is alien" at all, and it's so alienating to me that half the time I think it might be easier to just identify as allosexual with a distaste for the act of penetration - and that's fucked up to think about!

I don't really know where I was going with this. I don't really have a call to action and I don't think the zeitgeist of asexuality through the lens of Tumblr is going to suddenly up and change thanks to me whinging on about my experiences. I guess I just needed to vent about this sort of thing on the day for folks like me. The bullshit that ace people went through on this site for a number of years has made it so the "acceptable" version of asexuality is this hyperbolic version that pushes away people on the fringes like me, and it fucking sucks to see. I hate it. It wrecks the interactions I have with damn-near everyone I tell that I'm asexual.

[watercolourferns]

The reason Hazbin Hotel (FORGETTING ALL THE CONTROVERSY AROUND IT, PLEASE THAT'S FOR ANOTHER POST) is NOT for kids isn't how crass and rude it can be. But it's the topics it touches, especially with Husk and Angel.

The 4th episode touched on Angel's problems, a bit of his background and his current situation, and daaaaaaaaamn.

As someone who survived almost 5 years of DA and rape and who has seen SW as their only way out sometimes I can tell you that that's just how it is. It's crude, and cruel, and cold, and painful, your body's never your own anymore after it until you heal, and sometimes you think you have healed yet you didn't... And the only way to forget is to SH and just do it all over again, and MY particular case was mild compared to so many others I've talked to...

Imagine a child, who cannot relate to this, who is innocent and inexperienced, watching Angel's story and listening to Poison and Loser, baby. Helluva Boss also touches in sensitive topics, but not in this way from what I've watched.

This isn't south park, where the messages it gave were lost in it's crassness and it turned into a whole different shit show that parodied and satirized these topics. Whatever Viv is her series is actually taking these topics seriously in a way ADULTS can relate.

Yes, it's got comedy, and yes it's animation, but we have to understand that sometimes adults need these things too. Especially now a days where the world is so goddamned grim.

I'm only saying this because my fiancée works with children and since HH has been out there's a plethora of parents complaining about how this shouldn't be aired because it's not for children.

NO SHIT SHERLOCK, IT'S NOT. It's for us adults! Can we have just THIS ONE THINGS THIS ONE TIME?!

And I've seen in other places purity culture advocates and it's just... it's giving me a headache, and since I vent a lot here I wanted to just let it out...

Life ain't pretty, some of us are losers... but at least this is helping people like me feel seen when the rest of society wants to hide us like some shameful secret they don't wanna deal with...

We're some losers, baby, some right on crazy losers, but at least we're not alone and we deserve to be seen! 🎶

[kiyocuck]

kiyotaka tumblr user ramble

was thinkinf about this yesterday and i think ive cracked the idea of taka having tumblr, im an absolute genius and you will hear me out Okay

basically hes like a gimmick tumblr account that got famous for posting specific stuff and being Odd about it

the things he posts are like 5000 word posts just talking about his day in excruciating detail, talking about his studies and whatnot. it feels *weird* reading it bcuz hes describing oddly specific things like what he uses to clean his boots or whatever but its still Somewhat normal-ish.

he gets asks and replies to them with some unrelated tangent, some people ask him if hes autistic and hes like That is a very interesting question, I have actually done research in my spare time, because alot of my acquaintances are on the "Spectrum", and one of them, who thinks hes some 'Overlord of Ice', threw his pet hamsters at me and they scratched me on the face, and I had to go to the nurse in case he did not vaccinate them, I did not want to get rabies potentially, and-

basically letting his thoughts out without needing to sound like hes lecturing someone, he treats his blog like a diary and barely even realizes just how much attention he gets bcuz he logs in to post and then logs out

Occasionally, however, he will post something like "I cannot do this anymore I hate my life" and right after that he will post again "Apologies for the previous post, I was unmedicated, I am okay now. Anyway," and start talking about his studies again or whatever. and the funniest part is that he will not delete any sudden episode posts like that. he knows he can delete posts, but he doesnt think its worth hiding anything, which is why if he makes One grammar mistake in the 4 pages essay long posts, he will just reblog it correcting the ONE error like "*you're. I misspelled, sorry." and you are left to go look for that mistake he made in the first place

he will occasionally turn his posts into vents or nonsensical rambles like "I was reading a book about self-care recently, it was very informing. One of the chapters said 'It's important to have people in your life to support you'. Why does no one love me? Who should I rely on for support? What is wrong with me?" and people will reblog it like OP are you alright you can talk to us:( and he'll be like I'm perfectly okay dont ask me questions please (<-about to have another episode)

this turned out a bit depressive but take it in a funny way okay i just like to think about him alot even though i hate him and want him to die again by My hands

[orangechickenpillow]

I think regardless of whether or not this is a bad idea, or the fact that watcher needs funds to create these shows (which is real and valid), whether this works out for them or not, ultimately, this change is going to result in the loss of community.

Let's be so real: people are going to record their new stuff and post it on youtube, or other piracy sites. That's just a fact. People do it with netflix, they do it with hulu and apple tv and movies, etc. etc. People are going to find ways to watch watcher's shows without paying for them. But, if I were to go and watch the next season of ghost files on a piracy site (cannot believe I just made that sentence, btw), the thing is, I'm not going to come and post about it here on tumblr. When the previous seasons dropped, I was making posts while I was watching, just of my thoughts and stuff -- and I was liking other people's posts they were making while they were watching. And it was a great time of us all reacting to the episode. But now, if people are able to find the content for free, there's not going to be any of that. We'll watch it, and maybe we'll be able to enjoy it despite all of this, but even if we post about it, it's not going to feel like a community anymore because so many people will be out of the loop. So many people won't know what's going on, or what we're talking about, because they weren't able to watch it. Even if you take out the piracy aspect, that's what you're going to have. The fandom (or, unfortunately, what's left of it, if we're being real) will turn into People Who Have The Subscription and People Who Don't.

This is so long and dramatic, and I've got things to do today that don't revolve around internet shows, but even so: I feel like we have the right to vent our feelings and then move on however we see fit, so that's what I'm gonna do. Last thing I'll say (for now at least lol) is that I understand why watcher is doing this, I understand that raising enough funds to do what you want is hard, I understand that above all they are a company that wants to do ambitious things and will need the money to do so. That being said, this has created a shitty situation for a lot of people who have been watching their content for 9 plus years (because really, the watcher shows were an extension of their buzzfeed shows) for free and are now being faced with a "pay or don't watch at all" ultimatum. So, I get why they did it, and I get why people are upset.

[impunkster-syndrome]

Things I like about the comic:

There is a saturation toggle, especially with the eyestrain in the art that can make it inaccessible. I noticed in the preboot that the media is perfectly aware of how overwhelming it can be on the eyes, so I do appreciate a toggler since I am photosensitive.

The transcripts.

There's some acknowledgement of how it can feel weird to have your possessions and clothes taken from you for hospitalization. Characters wear hospital gowns which adds to the alienation of being visibly ill or disabled in some way. Especially with how some psych ward clothes can feel violating to wear because of being stripped of something so personal to you.

Doom's ears becoming more triangular really helps him not be confused with Mood. It also stylistically sets him apart as being more jaded by using the sharp features as a shorthand.

The things I don't:

Lack of page numbers in a volume. It makes it harder to reference specific pages if this is not listed on the site. It's in the links to the page sure, but it would be great to be able to easily see what page you are on and to be able to skip to specific pages.

Important worldbuilding information is not directly found in the comic. The meanings of the color schemes, what the roles of doctors and nurses are, and more are not easily deciphered via the text and have to be found in supplemental media. I call this kind of problem "Author brainspace expectation" because the media is not made with absolute beginners in mind and the author expects people who have never heard of it before to have the same level of knowledge as them, thus raising the barrier to entry for being able to understand the media. Other pieces of media that suffer from this same problem are Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel. Kingdom Hearts gets a pass because it became more like that as time went on but the first game is still understandable for people new to it.

The themes of the website changing for specific sections. This can add more contrast and keep things less accessible due to the contrast not allowing it to be easy to read.

The shaky text. Sorry but I don't like feeling sick as I try to read.

Nurses being completely good while doctors are completely evil. It's not a nuanced take and ignores systemic problems, plus how nurses can mistreat people. Things like Nurse Mood's refusal to write down medical history due to not caring to believe a patient is actually a form of normalized ableism that can really impact people. Happened to me and due to that I could barely eat any food brought to me while hospitalized due to my celiac and that not being on my chart despite me telling people over and over.

Jay's mobility aid is used as a plot device and then never seen again.

While every artist dreams of just being able to be paid for making art, that means that whatever you are releasing is open to criticism and that needs to be acknowledged. The patreon means this is making money and has to make a profit to sustain itself. It's not just a personal vent project anymore due to that and having staff. Kittycorn and staff need to accept that and not use the author (That they tend to tokenize, mind you) and kits trauma as a shield for any critique.

Cut down on the controlling rules for the media. You cannot control what someone does with your characters once you've made them more public. The rule that everyone must hate Cuddles and similar rules are overreaching and not a reasonable boundary to be enforced. Related to above, it's one thing to just talk about thoughts on media in a public space no matter how negative it is (acceptable), and something else entirely to send anon hate to staff and the author or to directly spam them with links to criticism directly unless they make it clear it is fine to do so (unacceptable). I see a lot more people complaining about the first when it is perfectly fine to have opinions about media and not the second. People having conflicted or not entirely positive thoughts on media is not a bad thing and actually fosters a deeper discussion of the media.

FAQs are for additional information and making things clear that are maybe unclear in the text, not for exposition and worldbuilding information.

The AUs of a paid project are forcing the comic to come to a halt. Breaks are fine, sure, but you need to be releasing things consistently for the project that people are paying you to make. A complete stop for months and no public progress makes this feel scam-adjacent.

The staff. If you find yourself attacking critics for existing while you yourself are on staff, you should not be on staff and should not be interacting with the fanbase at all. Both ZCP members I have spoken to initiated contact with me without ever reading any of my criticism and taking anything stated to them as bad faith when I would not allow them to be hostile with me. If you cannot have some level of separation between you and your fanbase, you need to create that so people do not see you/your staff as entitled assholes. Make internal rules to not publicly respond to criticism but still read it so you all can improve. I know this is the "piss on the poor" site but staff of a webcomic being so defensive to people who give valid critique are in the wrong and all it does is give everyone a poor view of the comic.

Tonal whiplash from dealing with ableism to ship content is jarring. You can't just flip between one or another constantly and expect either to mean anything to the reader.

Barruni needs to not be pushed as aggressively. It alienates anyone from the comic who wants to see anyone but them.

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

.

i'm getting real tired for being joked for being chubby it's not funny anymore as much as i try to be aware that its just a joke

never in my life have i ever cared to be insecure about my body. like the complete entirety of my body. i literally never gave a flying FUCK about it because im really content with how i look. im honestly so happy with how i look.

yeah. i've been eating a lot more lately, but that's because...? i'm just eating? i genuinely dont understand

im not gonna mention who is this person but they always talk about how i'd look plumpy (initally saying it's the good kind of plump because i used to be super skinny and pale) which meant i ate healthy

but recently its now becoming a joke that i'm. just fucking fat. like. funny looking. just hilarious to look at.at first i didnt give a shit because????? it's not severe? im actually so bothered and mad right now because i literally cannot see where's the issue? im actually struggling to come up with words right now because im so mad and irriitated

the turning point that started me to go complain here was because i was drawing. i was drawing a character. the person immediately assumed its me because of the green outfit (they'd be right). i gave them an outfit that would make it "bloat" at the bottom because the dress is big and they immediately walk up to me like. "oh is she pregnant? why does she look so big? shes you, right? becayse of that big stomach."

usually. i'd laugh and say something else. but. but the factthey commented about my art which is supposed to be a posititve projection ofme and make fun of me of it- i couldnt laugh. i didnt want to laugh this time. i swiped them away from me (they were physically playing with me) and told them to stop joking about it, and that it wasnt funny

they walked away saying nothing. im so upset right now. fucking tears coming out , i should not be crying about this dumb shit but here we are

i always loved seeing peoples' inserts appearing plump and plus sized, because i always feel so happy for them for being honest about how they look. but here i am. feeling like shit about MY OWN appearance. i always love cropped top sleeves and anything similar to it. but now it's making me feel ugly for even wanting to wear it.

i dont like venting here. i hate ruinung the vibes of my blog. but this popped a vein in me so bad that i need to complain about it.

sorry. thank you for reading allthe way if you did.

[fanby-fckry]

Ignore what I said about queuing this. I wrote the rest of this post when I was in a better headspace; now I’m petty and pissed off, so I dug into my queue and grabbed it.

Do you ever get hate from a stranger on a post and wonder… How did you even find this post??

Still getting used to the idea that fandom antis will apparently purposefully browse the tags of the thing they hate because it seems so genuinely pointless to me, but ok. I’m starting to understand that some people just choose to be angry, I guess.

But what blows my fucking mind is that I got hate on a vent post???

I don’t tag my vent posts with anything but my tags and content warnings. And I tag them #[topic] cw so it’s not like people are finding them in the main tags for that thing.

Reblogs are turned off, so it didn’t get thrown onto their dash by someone they follow that follows me and reblogged it in good faith.

So this person had to:

Choose a thing to be intentionally hateful about.

Choose to search not just for that thing, but instead to search #thing cw.

Find a post made 12 hours ago with 5 notes on it.

Decide, Yup, time to be an asshole!

I try to assume ignorance before malice. I try to assume someone’s having a bad day before I assume they went out of their way to be an asshole.

But I genuinely do not understand how you could accidentally stumble upon an unrebloggable vent post only tagged with cw tags.

How?? Why??? Wtf?? Why do you even care? Do you gain anything from this? Does this make you happy?

Or are you scrolling, seething about how much you hate, hate, hate a certain group of people? Are you clenching your jaw? Is your blood pressure rising? Do you need to take a break and do some breathing exercises?

Fucking go touch grass.

I’m writing this post for the same reason I made my other vent post: because it helps me process. Sometimes, I just need to scream into the void without bugging my partners or taking up time in my therapy sessions. And sometimes, my mutuals comfort and/or commiserate, which is nice.

But I genuinely cannot think of a world in which hate-scrolling an obscure tag would in any way positively impact my life or anyone else’s.

The last time I hate-scrolled, it was through a repost account in an attempt to go find all the original artists that the blog had stollen art from. I found one, and a few other artists had already been tagged, but eventually, I got so angry I couldn’t focus anymore.

So I stopped. I blocked the account. I moved on.

And the only reason I didn’t do that from the start was because it was genuinely helping someone for me to hate-scroll. It helped the artist I contacted. If I had been the first to get to a few other works I recognized, it would’ve helped those artists too.

I also didn’t seek out this blog; one of their stollen posts showed up on my dash and I went, Wow, that’s stollen art! Time to go fuck shit up!

Who does it benefit when you seek out other people’s posts when you know the content is upsetting to you, just to hate on them? What does that accomplish besides marginally increasing the suffering in this already shitty world?

Queueing this rather than posting it so that it won’t be obvious which vent post I’m talking about, but holy fuck this makes me feel things.

[meraki-yao]

You don't have to post it if you don't want to, you can also block me or delete it's ok, I just need to vent because this situation is hitting rock bottom and I can't stand how people don't want to see the problem:

In short: there is a video of the q&a where the female producer gets Casey pronouns wrong when talking about them. It's totally ok to point this out and give respect that Casey deserves BUT who was given the main blame? Taylor obviously, despite him also using the right pronouns during the panel, is guilty of not correcting the woman in front of everyone so he's bad again.

But this time we're not talking about that handful of idiot Nick fans, we're talking about the rwrb fandom that says they love him so much but once again for the umpteenth time they threw him under the bus without thinking twice even though he had no fault. And it will be the third time that the same fandom has exaggerated something against him, subsequently causing serious problems ( like racism and homophobia and doxxing which took place in december where everyone then washed their hands of it pretending nothing happened and they did nothing wrong)

And I'm so tired of reading that we just have to ignore that social because that social is the most active and followed and we know Taylor a few days ago saw stuff and posted and today Casey saw and posted a story. That social causes damage and everything they bring there is seen and affects all of them. So no it's not enough to ignore and put our hands over our eyes and just talk about how beautiful the sky is and I'm so tired and sad and heartbroken because every day even unconsciously they make it more and more evident that there isn't the same affection and respect for both, it's not true, one will always be seen with a critical eye "yes you are beautiful, perfect, so sexy, wow how beautiful these photos BUT you are a bit problematic, BUT you should be better than that, BUT you should learn better, oh disappointed but not surprised" and it is obviously always the poc man who has to be better who has to do better even when he does absolutely nothing wrong.

And this comes from the people who say they follow him and love him. It's no longer possible, that man has been attacked every single day for months, now he must also fall into the transphobic category because he didn't correct another person in front of everyone even though HE had used the right pronouns. But do we realize that this shit fucks up your mental health in the long run? But why doesn't anyone realize how serious the situation is? I cannot take it anymore and I feel like I'm screaming into the void and witnessing the moment when everything will get worse and fall apart and then we will be here sad because it didn't have to go that way for him

…Woah.

Jesus Christ what the fuck.

Okay um, here we go. This is a monster of response to write but here I am.

I’m gonna start by saying I am not a direct witness of any of this. I didn’t know about the misgendering issue during the Q&A, I didn’t really notice it when I watched the Q&A myself yesterday. I’m not on twitter and I don’t follow or look at Taylor or Nick’s tags. All insults I seen regarding the boys are either from assholes trying to bother me or from people who want to talk about the phenomena, both in my inbox.

Regarding misgendering Casey:

Firstly I’m gonna state the obvious and say of course it’s a bad thing to misgender someone. Don’t do that

However I will also say this.

In regards to the extent of reaction: it’s not always done in malice. And in this case, I think it’s a genuine slip up, which happens. I had to consciously remind myself to deliberately use the right pronouns after my friend came out to me as non-binary. I had to correct my friend using the wrong pronouns when talking about our mutual non-binary student. It’s not ideal, but it happens. It’s not mean, it’s just careless. And please note that I’m not saying it’s ok to misgender someone, no it’s absolutely not but I also don’t think this case calls for a big reaction.  If someone maliciously, deliberately, publicly and repeatedly misgenders someone, that’s problematic, that should be called out by the masses to this extent. This, we should acknowledge, make a note, and move on. I think there’s some cases where the reaction to certain issues are massively disproportional, this is one of them.

In regards to Taylor not correcting Sarah and being targeted for it: Firstly, Taylor didn’t misgender them, Sarah did. Taylor used the right pronouns. In fact when they hung out in New York last August, Taylor used the right pronouns on his Instagram story. Secondly, he might not have picked that up. Thirdly, even if he did, it’s awkward to suddenly cut off a monologue, let alone one from friend or not, is someone on a higher level than you, to correct a mistake that doesn’t directly affect comprehensive. Fourthly, bystanders are encouraged to step into situations, but they’re certainly not obligated to. So placing the blame or putting so much blame on Taylor is ridiculous and unfair.

In regards to Casey’s Instagram story: I understand where the connection comes from but honestly… I think there’s also a possibility that that’s just a post that Casey saw and wanted to share without reference to this issue. They don’t have Twitter, and it’s been several days since the screening. Truthfully, everyone involved seems really friendly with each other, and how this very project is advocating for LGBT rights, I don’t really believe that if they were aware of the misgendering, they wouldn’t apologize to Casey.

So replying to the “You don’t have to post it…” anon, I agree that putting any blame on Taylor is kind of ridiculous in this case, just like what happened in December. I think there’s a portion of “fans” that are fucking around with this and genuinely hurting him, but there might also be a portion of people who have a problematic/complicated perception of this type of situation, and it’s not targeted specifically towards Taylor. Either way I disapprove with what they’re doing, but here’s a hypothesis.

Regarding the damage these stuff causes:

I’ve addressed the insults thrown at Taylor multiple times by now. And I kind of agree with “I hate that there are idiots…” anon that really disgusting insults thrown at Nick tend to be overlooked, it’s not like there’s no Nick haters, there is. But because of the inherent racism, attacks on Taylor are much more obvious. Either way it’s cruel and disgusting and the boys don’t deserve to be thrown insults like that, nor do they deserve to have people enact cruelty in their name. Rarely is anyone deserving of that, and in the case of these two boys who have been proven to kind and wonderful people, it’s definitely wrong.

I’m tired of reading and seeing these bullshit on social media as well, which is why I actively avoid it, but “You don’t have to post it” anon, I definitely understand and share your worries of this fucking up the boys mental health.

But the sad truth is that we can’t decide what he can see and what he can’t. We’re just gonna need to trust him, to believe that he knows how to regulate the exposure of response he gets, that he knows what comments matter and what don’t, that he knows how to take care of his mental health. He actively avoids twitter, so I think he has an idea on what he can engage with an what he shouldn’t. Same goes with Nick, all we can do is believe he knows his mental health and how to regulate it. Meanwhile, those of us who aren’t assholes, we’ll show them all the love we have for him. I think public figures all struggle with this to some extent, so when they stepped into this career, I believe they saw this as a possibility, so they’re prepared to some degree. That doesn’t make any of this okay, but again, ultimately, we’re not people directly in their lives. We can’t do anything else practical.

Ultimately I want to say, be kind, compassionate and considerate. We can’t control what others do, and truth be told when it comes to the majority of the haters, I don’t think calling them out will change anything. They have their mind set. So the best we can do, is manage and control what we say and do, and to some degree, what we see and engage with.