#because Thinking and Brainstorming while trying to actively Create/Write does not work for me

[tethered-heartstrings]

how do you get story ideas? i love creative writing but i can never find ideas for what to write about. do the ideas just come to you? do you do anything to inspire you?

it is a bit of both. sometimes ideas just come to me, especially pwps. a scene pops into my head and then i build a bigger scene/story around it. usually like "wow that wound be hot if xyz..." and then figuring out how to make that happen. sometimes it is something vague that inspires me like "werewolves" and then my brain goes 100mph and thinks of things that could fit into that kind of story/idea. for my first long fic, i had an idea but nothing super specific, and as the story progressed, a big monumental scene would come to me and i would build up to and taper down from that moment, versus me thinking of all the steps in between first. a good chunk of that story was me writing as i go (not ideal for me personally)

the most specific thing that inspired me to write, which was the first time it has really happened, was seeing @hannibalhadalittlelamb's art from an ask prompt. and the best way i can describe it is i saw it and the story started to unravel in my head. i didn't have to "think" about it, my brain made pieced something together

what's helped me is anytime i get an idea, even if it is vague or silly, i write it down and add any details or scenes or ideas that could fit. they may not all make the final cut, but it helps my brain formulate an idea. once i have disjointed ideas, i "sketch" out a plot and make the ideas in a linear timeline.

i also have some mutuals i bounce an idea off of and see if it works, and then in explaining it to them the plot starts to "write itself" if that makes sense. the big idea organically branches itself out to smaller, more specific details

i struggle with creative writing, but writing for a fandom and having pre-established characters that i understand helps a lot. i just take those personalities and sometimes canon events and reshape them to fit a new situation. i never force an idea. if it comes to me, and the vague plot "writes itself", then that's awesome. but if i stare at a prompt and nothing comes to me, i just scratch that and move on. i chase the lightbulbs that turn on, but i won't bother with making the ones that are burned out work.

[oogaboogasphincter]

The 50/10 Method (Agent Whiskey x f!reader)

Summary: Jack makes the most of your 10 minute study break. 

Word Count: 2.7k+

Rating: E (explicit) 18+ ONLY! bc this is just cringey smut lmfao

Warnings: smut (oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (obvi use protection irl), very easily and conveniently reached orgasms (this is a fantasy i can do what i want skjfkd), dirty talk, one (1) allusion to thigh riding and one (1) instance of 💙spitting💙, fingering, positions i hope i've given enough detail so y’all can imagine what i was picturing💀), pet names (sweetheart, honey, cowboy *affectionately*, good girl, baby), there’s a sentence about reader having long-ish hair, reader and jack have a dog, swearing, reader is afab and is called things like good girl and the like, just overall trash grammar and structure 😇

Author’s Note: so this is very poorly written and extremely self-indulgent, as i myself use the 50/10 method 🙃. but i had a lot of fun with it, and i think that’s what writing is supposed to be all about! :) also i was heavily inspired to write this after reading “Take a Break” by @mellowswriting​ and “Study Buddy” by @pascalpanic​. please go check those out because they’re absolutely fantastic!!!!! +while you’re at it, i would highly advise you to read anything on their masterlists bc they’re just 💜exquisite💜

gif by @thernandalorian​

The lines of text on your computer screen are starting to blend into each other, creating a single run-on sentence that one of your previous English teachers would ridicule the author for. The sharp curves and angles that distinguish each letter from the next are becoming soft and dull, blurring into each other until your brain can only recognize it as a smeared streak of black on white.

It’s 11:00am on a Saturday, a big exam set for the upcoming Monday’s morning. You don’t feel rushed for time, or overloaded with unknown material, and the early hours of the day have been quite productive. Following a shared breakfast of homemade waffles in bed with Jack, your boyfriend, you didn’t complain when setting up your study station on the living room’s large oak table. If anything, you had been excited to begin studying early in the hopes of finishing your review by the end of the day. That way, tomorrow would be free for you and Jack to do whatever you pleased.

However, as the hours went by, your motivation was slowly but surely diminishing. The serene study atmosphere that you usually thrive in is now driving you mad. You yearn for a noise, any noise; a bird to sing a song in the tree outside your window, the smack of your dog’s loose wrinkles against each other as he attempts to shake the sleep out of him, a pencil unable to stop itself from rolling and dropping onto the floor with a tink.

You’re momentarily gifted with the crisp sound of a page turning. You flit your eyes over to gaze upon the source of your granted wish and your heart flutters in reaction to the sight: Jack’s resting on the couch, cowboy hat balanced on the back of it, deeply absorbed in the next installment of his favorite murder-mystery series. You find it curious that his desire for an adrenaline-filled challenge doesn’t stop when he comes home from mission after mission that nearly cost him his life. You’ll ask him about his insatiability one day, but for now you categorize it as fictional research for his Statesman assignments.

Your short glance quickly turns into an entranced stare. Jack looks... divine. Fetching. Luscious. As he’s lying on his back, neck propped up against the arm of the couch, his book balanced on his chest, relaxation radiates off of him in waves and utterly seduces you. You’re surprised that he hasn’t been a greater distraction to you throughout the morning. How have you managed to ignore the denim-wearin’, plaid-shirted, pornstache-sportin’ cowboy of your dreams that is only a few steps away?

Involuntarily, the thigh muscles of your crossed legs contract in an effort to bring some semblance of friction to your now weeping core. Similar to your imaginings of your dog earlier, you shake your head to force these heavy, unwanted feelings to dissipate and turn back to the work in front of you. Of course, Jack does the opposite of what you’d like him to do and takes an interest in your fidgeting. He peeks over the top of his book, “You cold, sweetheart?” 

His question is reasonable: you’re purposely wearing a skirt that’s so short it rides up quite high when you sit. You don’t dare to meet his eyes and answer while pulling a textbook close and opening it up, “No, I’m okay.”

Fortunately he returns to his reading. Your attention is able to retain itself for about a paragraph, but then your mind takes a sharp detour back to those pesky, steamy desires. You mentally huff at your inability to remain concentrated on your studies and rifle through the options of what you can do to satiate yourself for the time being. 

You could switch texts and force your brain to recognize the change and therefore become distracted. You could pick out some colored writing utensils and bring some fun to active reading. You could say fuck it, go straddle Jack and beg him to use you in whichever way he would like.

Jack interrupts your brainstorming, “Are you sure you don’t need a blanket or sumthin’? I can go get my jacket for ya.” 

The attentiveness of your southern lover melts your heart. You turn to him, “No, really, I’m okay, thanks.”

“I wouldn’t count a bathroom break as taking away from your 50 minutes, honey, if that’s what’s makin’ you twitch.” 

You had been implementing and strictly adhering to the 50/10 method all morning: study for 50 minutes, take a break for ten. Its effectiveness was never doubted, as it has proven to work for you for years. Only ten minutes into this 50 minute period, the devil of restlessness pokes at you and makes you think could time go by any slower? A hand comes up to cover the blush creeping across your cheek as you dismiss Jack’s suggestion, “No, that’s not it.”

Behind your embarrassed hand, Jack cocks an eyebrow at you. Your simple choice of words has given the Agent a hint, that there is something that’s bothering you, he just hasn’t figured it out yet and you don’t want to admit what it is for some reason. He returns to his book, however lost in thought about what your problem could be, while you task every cell in your body to pay attention to your studies. 

35 minutes remain on the clock, and Jack guesses, “Did you have too much coffee?”

You can’t help but grin at his sleuthing, “No, I just had my regular.”

He conjures up another possible solution five minutes later, “Are you itchin’ to get out of the house? We haven’t left in two days.”

He’s getting warmer. Both of you know exactly why you haven’t left the house in two days: you’d been occupied with activities of the sinful variety. You can’t gauge yet whether or not he knows he’s dancing around the answer, “Baby, you’re distracting me. And nope, it’s not that.” 

He smiles apologetically, “Sorry,” and uses his book as a partition, blocking your ability to procrastinate and just visually drool all over him.

Silence fills the next 20 minutes. Even though Jack is out of your sight, details from your observations exaggerate themselves in your mind to the point that they’re all encompassing, intoxicating. The way his jeans wrap around his legs ever so perfectly, the worn denim hugging those muscular thighs that he loves for you to grind yourself against when you’re feeling especially desperate (like now). How his plaid flannel slopes over the swell of his belly, stretching tight against his skin as his diaphragm contracts and deflating when he exhales. Even his large feet, strewn about lazily on the couch, his toes pointing in different directions, amuse you. 

Ten minutes remain in your study session. Feeling guilty about spending the majority of the last hour envisioning the seductive intricacies of your boyfriend, you actually start to study. 

“How many times do you think I can make you cum in ten minutes?”

Your eyes are ripped from your material and land on the menace lazing on the couch. He’s put his book down, one arm behind his head while the other is crooked, allowing himself to palm his cock through his pants. Jack’s wearing a shit-eating grin, bewitching your crossed legs to switch which one is on top; an excuse to apply more pressure to the yearning area between them. You fidget in the chair, shamefully trying to get the seam of your underwear to rub against you in just the right way. You shrug, “I-I’m not sure.”

He gets up and comes over to you, standing behind you and leaning forward to rest his chin on your shoulder. He murmurs in your ear, “I think we should find out during your next break.”

You turn to face him, “I think so too.”

He gives you a quick kiss, “Well, you better be a good girl and study for these last few minutes. Earn that break.” He places his large hands on either side of your head and turns it toward your materials, making you both laugh.

Somehow, you’re able to pay attention. Jack’s impending promise of ravaging you for ten minutes straight quells your jittering nerves and gives you something specific to look forward to. Before you know it, your alarm is beeping, alerting you that your break has commenced. Jack cages you by reaching forward and grabs the clock, programs it to ten minutes and keeps it in his hand. He grips the sides of your swivel chair, pulls it back from the table and spins you around to face him, the speed of the turn making your hair swoosh across your shoulders. Through mutual giggles, Jack lifts you up, winding your legs around his waist, your arms doing the same around his neck. “I want you to count for me how many times you cum.”

Breathlessly, you simply obey, “Okay.”

He practically runs to the bedroom. He sets the clock on the nightstand and turns the face towards the mattress so you don’t lose out on studying time. Tossing you onto the bed, your giggling continues as you bounce from the force. Jack hooks his fingers in your underwear and yanks them down, pulling them out from under your skirt and over your shoes. The way he wastes no time ridding you of any other garment makes blood and heat flood your center and air rush out of your lungs. He pushes your lost air back into your mouth with a kiss and then immediately retreats back to in between your legs.

He flicks the fabric of your skirt up onto your belly, letting himself have complete, unobstructed access to his early lunch. His fingers fondle your folds while his lips place sloppy kisses along the inside of your thighs. After he’s had his fill of that step, he sits back and stares at you: spread out for him, more than willing to take anything he wants to give to you. He blows out a whistle, eyeing your core, and you say, “Hey, you’re on the clock, cowboy. No time for dramatics.”

He nods, a smirk pulling at one side of his mouth, “You’re right, sweetheart.”

He spits onto your cunt, forgoing his usual gentle licks to adequately wet your pussy. A quiet fuck escapes your mouth as he plunges his tongue into you. Your fingers wind themselves in his chocolatey locks and pull, extracting an excited moan from your lover. His fingers knead the soft flesh on the backs of your thighs as he eats and when his mustache starts to tickle your clit, you’re done for. Your grip on his hair becomes vice-like and your whole body seizes up, constricted by enrapturing pleasure. You strangle out, “One.”

Jack unlatches his mouth only once he’s certain your first orgasm is complete. He stands, admires your wrecked expression, takes his cock out, spits into his hand and pumps his dick a few times. Hands slithering around your waist, he flips you onto your stomach and pulls your ass up, positioning you on your hands and knees. You’re a little bit dizzied by his manhandling in combination with his expert tongue, but this type of vertigo is the most enjoyable you’ve ever experienced. 

When he pushes into you, it’s a bit of a stretch because he hadn’t warmed you up with his fingers. He relaxes you by leaning forward, pressing his chest against your back and peppering soft kisses to your shoulder blades. The clink of his belt comically punctuates his thrusts, but your laughs are swallowed by intoxicated groans. You don’t know, and you don’t really care to figure out, how he already has you teetering on the edge of cumming again. Heightened senses tell you that you’re close; the fabric of his shirt feels unearthly soft as it brushes against patches of exposed skin, his fingertips are delightful lead in their clamp on you, his grunts and pants angelically reverberate in your skull. And then, suddenly and all at once, “Two.”

Jack’s pride shows itself in a smirk while he flips you onto your back. He makes a show of hooking your calves over his shoulders, eliciting laughter from the both of you. Resting almost all of his weight on top of you, your knees find your chest and his hands find your hair. The intimacy of it all is almost too much; his thumbs stroke your temples, palms cradle your head, those goddamned puppy-dog eyes bore into you. You turn your head in his grasp to check your timing: five minutes left. 

Jack’s tongue darts out to lick the pads of his fingers before he snakes it down in between the two of you to rub your clit. Your moans come out uncontrollably, your eyelids stutter and he eggs you on, “That’s it, sweetheart. Give me another one.”

Hearty moans are reduced to desperate gasps and you’re unable to verbally acknowledge the third orgasm that rips through you. Nonetheless, Jack can tell from the way your eyes roll into the back of your head and his name tumbles ferociously out of your mouth that you’re cumming. “’Atta girl.”

Jack takes his cock out of you and the whine that escapes your lips embarrasses you. He can’t help but laugh at your whimpering before he scoots down the bed and starts to eat you out again, framing his head with your quaking thighs. You find the strength to check the time, “Jack, there’s only a minute and a half left.”

He moans deeply into you, unaffected by your comment, and eases three fingers into your fluttering center. Like earlier, your hands fly to his hair like a magnet and find purchase so tight it makes your knuckles go pale. In a matter of seconds, circling your clit with his sopping tongue and tapping your g-spot with his deft fingers, Jack has you cumming yet again. This time you yell out the count, “Four!”

The sounds his ministrations make are lewd and exhilarating, pushing himself to his own precipice. You look down your body to find Jack’s other hand jerking his cock and his seed spilling out of him moments later. He groans into your pussy while you pet his hair, praising him for his efforts. 

Simultaneously, you both remember that you’re being timed. Your eyes meet the clock at the same time: 30 seconds. Jack springs from the bed and pulls you up with him, grabbing your discarded panties. He squats and taps your ankles so you lift your legs up, sliding each leg hole over your body and pulling your underwear up underneath your skirt. 

You fumble with his mussed clothes, stuffing his still-hard cock into his boxers, hiking his jeans up over his ass and zip and button them closed. You snake his belt around his waist and let his fingers do the work of buckling it before he picks you up bridal style and ushers you out of the bedroom, grabbing the clock off of the nightstand on your way out. 

Unhinged cackles follow you two down the hallway as you return to the living room. He plops you down in your chair, straightens you out, gives you a kiss on the cheek and then your alarm goes off. You raise your eyebrows at him, “Jeez, you didn’t waste a second.” 

He hums, then mumbles, “You get back to work now, babygirl,” and leaves you with a yearning kiss on the part of your hair.

Both of you return to your respective readings, hopelessly trying to downgrade your panting gasps to normal breaths. The absence of Jack’s warmth is already painful. But you rationalize that the indulgence of the last ten minutes is more than enough to get you through this next hour of studying, if not for longer.

Little do you know that Jack feels the same pain. His ache for your touch, sexual or not, will overtake him later and he’ll be unable to resist the temptation of coming over and distracting you again. Determined to finish your studying, you’ll propose a compromise: you can sit in his lap while he is lulled to sleep by the ambience of the afternoon rain and the enveloping comfort of you. The two of you can try to beat the record of four orgasms next semester. 

💘taglist: @pascalpanic​, @mellowswriting​

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

Creative planning

Word count: 2144     

Genre: I think a bit of angst mixed with fluff???

Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader 

Warnings: Swearing but not much and in a friendly way (let me know if I need to add more)

Request: Can u do natasha x reader where natasha fall in love with the reader because they always have stupid atypical plans that always work. And at first none of the avengers believer that the plan will work but it actually work. That’s it!

Summary: Reader always has creative plans for missions that always work and Nat seems like she doesn’t like them except she actually does and is just bad at feelings.

A/n: So this was requested by @fayhar so I hope you like it but if I’m honest I didn’t follow the request exactly so I’m sorry about that, but I hope you like it anyways. Also sorry this is a few days later than I said but I procrastinated but I’m writing a lot now so hopefully all other requests will be out soon.

You glance around at the rest of the team, biting your lip when all you can see is frustrated faces. It’s your first time making a big suggestion and it is not going over nearly as well as you had hoped. You thought your plan was pretty solid, albeit weird, but the team doesn’t seem to agree. 

“We need a real plan, not the plot of some animated action movie meant for kids.” Tony says, his annoyance coming through with his voice. 

Clint shoots Tony a look and softly says, “Y/n, I know you’re trying to help but Tony is right, this doesn’t seem realistic.”

“I agree,” Natasha interjects, “anyone have any more viable plans?” The room is silent after that and you can tell everyone is thinking hard. You’re trying to help as well but your mind is consumed with doubt. Although it wasn’t the most conventional plan, you really thought it could work but they thought it childish. Clint was the nicest to you about it but that’s only because he saw you as a kid he had to protect. You loved being a part of the team but sometimes it was hard to prove yourself when you were both the youngest and newest avenger. You rack your brains trying to come up with a new plan but your mind keeps getting stuck on what you already came up with. It was different from what the team normally did for sure, but you just knew it could work. 

“I know you shot it down already but please consider what I’ve suggested,” you speak up, “it’s different but I think it will work. Besides it’s not like anyone else has any great ideas.” 

While they don’t seem to accept your plan right away this time they seem to give a little more thought. Wanda whispers something to Steve and you can see Natasha and Clint exchange looks. 

Finally Steve speaks up. “Y/n is right, maybe not about the plan but we don’t have any other ideas. I think this is our best change against Hydra for now.” 

“Hydra is a formidable enemy whose goal is to control the world and you expect us to follow a plan that is completely ridiculous.” Natasha argues harshly. You struggle not to let any emotion show because you knew you had to appear strong but what Natasha thinks means a lot to you, so it hurt she had absolutely no confidence in your plan. You have always admired her a lot and if you were to be truthful you’ve always had a little bit of a crush on her.

“This plan does seem a little out there,” Wanda interjects, “but maybe that’s what we need for this mission, Hydra won’t be able to predict it.” 

“Ok,” Tony agrees, “what the hell, let's do it.” 

Fifteen exhausting hours later and you were all on a jet heading back to the compound. Even though it had been one of the hardest and most tiring missions you had been on to date you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that you were the one that helped the team out. 

“Good job Y/n!” Steve praises seeing your grin so you smile back even harder and go to respond when you hear a scoff from the other side of the jet. Natasha is sitting there and although her face betrays nothing, everyone who heard knows it’s her. You don’t know why she hates your plan even though it worked but although it bothers you, you try to brush it off, as Steve squeezes your shoulder in silent support. Even when Natasha exits the jet and heads straight to her room without a word to anybody you manage to keep a smile while talking with a few of the other avengers before you get too exhausted and decide to call it a night. 

As you lie in your bed after you showered and were drifting off you think about the day. You understood the lack of confidence in your crazy plan at first but you finally feel like you proved yourself and showed why you were asked to join the avengers. You also question Natasha’s dismissal of your success but you can never tell what she’s thinking so you brush that aside and fall into a peaceful sleep, optimistic about what is to come. 

---

“Hey Y/n can you look over the plans for the next raid?” Tony asks, shoving some papers in your hands as you walk past him in the hall. 

“Of course!” You respond cheerfully, taking the papers and continuing to make your way into the common room. It had been around ten months since you had first helped create a plan and ever since then the other had been turning to you for help with stuff like this and you became known for coming up with the craziest ideas that always ended up working. 

When you got to the common room you plopped yourself on the couch and started brainstorming beside the only other occupant of the room, Natasha. Out of all the avengers you were still slightly wary of her. You admired her a lot (not to mention kinda wanted to kiss her) but although she didn’t seem to hate your plans as much as she first did she didn’t seem to like them either. You did your best to impress her especially when she would help train you but sometimes it got discouraging because she never seemed to care that much. She was also the only avenger you didn’t consider yourself friends with, which is why you were fairly surprised when she spoke up. 

“What are you working on?”

“I’m just reviewing the mission plans for our raid of the Hydra base in a few days, Tony did a pretty good job though, so I won’t change much.” You respond honestly. 

“None of your weird ideas?” She asks. 

“Probably not, don’t worry,” you say laughing slightly although you don’t feel like it, “I’m just going to see if Steve has any ideas, see you later.” You leave the room in a bit of a rush, making sure you have all the plans. Natasha watches you go with a frown. She can tell she offended you when she asked that but she was just meaning to tease because although she was skeptical at first, she now really loves your plans. 

While she unhappily stares into the hallway you left through, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to see Clint hanging upside down from the vent. 

“What’s wrong Nat?” He asks. 

“Y/n thinks I hate her. Or at least that I think she’s stupid.”

Clint laughs. “Once she gets to know you I’m sure that will change. Remember how long it took for the others to warm up to you?”

“But I like her and I want her to like me now!” Natasha replies in a tone that has a small whine to it. 

“So you like her, no biggie,” Clint says, “eventually you’ll become friends. WAIT-do you mean you like her, like you want to date her?” Natasha doesn’t respond and instead just nods, looking away from Clint. 

“You know it may seem complicated but just be nice to her and give her compliments out loud instead of in your head.” Clint advises.

“You know I think that’s the only helpful thing you’ve ever told me,” Natasha jokes, wanting to change the topic, “when did you get so good at this?”

“Well I do have a wife after all,” Clint answers, “maybe you should trust me on this.”

The past month has been confusing to say the least. You brush your hair in the mirror, wanting to look presentable for when you were having dinner with Natasha later because she randomly asked you to. It isn’t a date or anything, in fact you don’t know why you’re doing this because all she said is that she wanted to talk to you, but the idea of eating dinner along with her makes you nervous. This was the first time the two of you were going to do something without any of the others. At first she didn’t seem to like you at all but recently you noticed a huge change in the way Natasha was acting towards you. She seemed to actively seek you out to spend time together and started complimenting you more, especially on your ideas relating to avengers missions. You take a glance at your watch and decide to head down to the kitchen to meet up with Nat. The whole way down you can feel your entire body almost shaking with nerves but you push it aside. 

“Hey Y/n,” Natasha says softly upon your entry, “I made us some pasta, I hope you don’t mind.” 

“I’ll never turn down pasta.” You respond while smiling and grabbing a plate. 

“Great,” she says, looking a little relieved, “Are you good to just eat at the counter?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I, I’m not the queen.” You answer her, laughing slightly. She mumbles something under her breath but you can’t hear it properly. 

“What was that Tasha?” You ask her. 

“Nothing.” You look down at your food and both of you lapse into silence. Neither of you speak for what feels like an hour but was probably closer to ten minutes before you start to get a little annoyed. 

“Are you going to speak?” She stares at you and doesn’t answer. “Well are you? Because you said you wanted to talk to me but now that I’m here you don’t say anything. Not to mention I can’t even tell if you like me or not.” She seems surprised by your outburst but you can’t find it within yourself to care. It was all true you had no clue what she thought about you with her acting cold towards, then suddenly switching to being nice and as much as you liked her you would much rather just know what she thought than be constantly confused. 

“I do like you.” She says after a few moments of very awkward silence. “I just don’t know how to talk to you properly.”

“You didn’t know how to talk to me???” You ask, completely shocked. 

“Yes,” she replies honestly, “at first I just didn’t talk to you because I didn’t like you-”

“Ouch.” You interrupt and she rolls her eyes at you. 

“Anyways as I was saying,” she takes a pause to playfully glare at you, “the reason why I didn’t like you was because unlike everybody else you were unpredictable and I don’t like not being in control. You are just so different from people I’m used to-I mean this in a good way, like how you always have super creative plans.”

“Oh wow that’s not what I was expecting at all,” you tell her, “I just thought you hated me.” She nods looking remorseful. 

“Sorry, at the very start I may have but honestly that’s the last impression I wanted you to have of me. If you can’t tell recently I’ve been trying harder to be more open.”

“I have noticed actually and although I was a bit confused by the sudden change it was nice.” Natasha smiles at that and sits up a little taller before shrinking back down and biting her lip.

“For the sake of honesty, there was another reason I didn’t like you much,” she pauses to take a deep breath, “you made me feel things, things I can usually control.” You can’t believe what you are hearing right now and think you must be dreaming because unless you are interpreting things very wrongly it sounds like Natasha is confessing feelings for you. 

“Tasha,” you say slowly, “you have feelings for me?” She nods and you can’t even begin to process it. You must have been silent for too long because she stands up and starts to move away. 

“I’m sorry Y/n, we can drop it if you want just please say something.” 

“No, we are not dropping this,” you say seriously, watching Natasha’s face drop as you inwardly smirk, “at least not until you take me on a date first.” 

“You’re an asshole.” Natasha deadpans before coming over to hug you. “I will definitely take you on many dates.” 

She’s true to her word and two days later you find yourselves cuddled in your bed after having dinner at a restaurant. She’s spooning you, pressed up against your back and you can tell by her breathing that she’s almost asleep. 

“So you like my plans?” You ask cheekily, remembering your conversation from last night. 

“I love your plans,” She responds before planting a kiss to the top of your head that nearly makes your heart melt of happiness, “even if you are an asshole sometimes.”

[kakairu-rocks]

We are excited to introduce our next shining star for the Creator Spotlight... @sweetysamaa​!

This is a member's only activity where we reach out to one of the talented people in our community each month to find out all about them and their kakairu creations, and then show them off to the world!

We hope you enjoy learning about Sweetysamaa & her creations as much as we did. Please give them some love ❤️

Pronouns: She/ Her, They/ Them

Type of Creator:  Writer & Artist

Where to find them:

AO3

Tumblr

Twitter

Read the exciting interview below the cut, or on the forum!

If you would like a chance to be in the spotlight too, the only thing you have to do is be a member of the kakairu rocks forum, and be a creator; and we will contact you, ourselves!

1. How long have you been creating KakaIru fanworks?

I started writing around September 2020. I’m French, and since I had no idea about this whole community at that time, I wanted to satisfy my own need for kakairu because I think I’ve read all the French kakairu fics out there.

As far as my poor attempt to do art, you have to know that I’m fairly new to drawing, and while I’ve always enjoyed it, it’s always been something that’s been difficult for me because I don’t have any special skills - and I still don’t. So… I was always giving up.

I started again around November 2020, because I really wanted to draw those two idiots that I love so much, and I didn’t start drawing « seriously » until March 2020.

So, I’m really a beginner in both writing and art, and constantly improving; at least, I hope so.

2. What are you working on right now?

I’m working on the first chapter of a fic for my maze. Maybe this chapter will already be published when this interview comes out?

I’m also working on the translation of some of my « old » french fics so that I can share them with you. 😊

3. What is your favourite trope to create for?

I have an endless favorite tropes that I love. I tried to pick just one but couldn’t. I picked three, I hope that’s okay? I am a very indecisive person xD.

I’m a sucker for Kakashi being the one who runs away from happiness thinking he doesn’t deserve it, or that he sacrifices himself without realizing he’s hurting his friend and Iruka.

I also love Kakashi using Sukea to seduce Iruka, and then everything ends up in shitty situations where Iruka suffers and Kakashi blames himself.

But on the other hand, I love writing idiots in love one shots - funny and weird situations where Iruka is completely done with Kakashi’s crappy ideas. xD

4. Which of your creations is your favourite, and why?

My favorite piece is this one that I did for the maze.

This was the very first time I painted such a background! I tried new techniques I learned through courses or by myself, new brushes, etc. I’m pretty proud of this one because I feel like it tells a story, and a lot of people have told me that, too; and that’s definitely one of the best compliments for many artists to receive, I think.

Besides, I had a lot of fun with this one! Which is a good point to pick something as our favorite, right?

5. Do you have any WIPs you’re excited about?

As I said, I’m working on a fic for my maze and it’s my new « big project ». I hope to live up to the plot I’m still brainstorming.

6. Do you have any original characters? If so, tell us about them!

Yes, I do! I even have some ideas for Kakairu comics/drawings with her! I think you’ve already seen her somewhere. She is my profile picture 😊. And this is her profile: Shinrin Okami - Google Docs

7. What was your hardest piece to create, and why?

Definitely this one.

There are so many reasons why this piece was the hardest. The pose was quite difficult fro me to construct, even though I used references. (I use photographs, because I can’t draw poses without them yet). But the most difficult thing was the kiss. I can’t draw kisses.

8. Do you have any favourite scenes from something you’ve created?

There is this one from one of my Sukea/Iruka fics: The cooking chef of Rokudaime (I’m working on the translation so I can share it with you soon!)

Kakashi is holding baby Boruto in his arms, completely lost and Iruka comes to help Kakashi to place his arms correctly. Their backgrounds make the act very sorrowful for them but it’s also so cute and meaningful! I love that there are two very different feelings at the same time.

9. Where does your inspiration come from?

That’s a good question. Most of the time, whether it’s the morning or at night, I’m trying to sleep and my brain seems to disagree with that and then starts to throw me ideas, dialogues, and sentences at my face!

I also like to choose certain words and think about how they make me feel. That’s why I like bingo and event prompts.

10. Which of your creations is the most meaningful to you, and why?

My Soul Is You. Because it’s the very first fic I wrote thanks to a discussion with discord members. 😊

[mental-dilemma]

A Quick Meeting Part 4?

Damian’s an exchange student in Paris taking it easy until an Akuma attacks and he gets to meet ladybug. -----------------------------------------

Ok before everyone starts pancking: I am Emu-Lumberjack I just decided to create a Sideblog for all my writing so that way those who follow me exclusively for that don’t have to deal with the chaos that is my main blog

also I’m sorry it’s taken so long to post this but just between school and work and school and just general exhaustion it’s been hard for me to write.

and as always all credit to the Au goes to @ozmav 

pt.1 

pt. 2

pt. 3

“I don’t suppose I could bribe you to drop the matter.” Damian said sitting down in Tim’s office. He and Ladybug were situated next to each other while Tim was on the other side of the desk.

“Nope.” He turned to Ladybug, “I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself, making sure Damian didn’t disappear and all that. Anyway I’m Tim Drake, Co-Ceo of Wayne enterprises and Damians older brother.”  

Ladybug turned to Damian and quietly said, “So does everyone in your family constantly talk like they’re trying to impress a victorian lord?” Damian snorted. Tim, unable to hear what she just said, looked to the two agape.

“At least I have a reason.” Damian responded, this time loudly enough for his elder brother to hear. “Anyway Tim is in CEO mode right now, which is pretty rare. Usually he’s a bumbling zombie dependent on coffee to function. In fact I remember one time when Dick took the last cup he----”

“I’d suggest stopping right there or I’ll tell her about the batcow incident.” Tim interrupted.

 “Did you just say batcow? Because I understand each of those words separately.” Ladybug said, and even though her mask still concealed half her face Damian could tell she was really confused.

“Don’t ask. Just don’t.” Damian said quietly.

“Anyway. I never caught your name and considering the fact that your in a mask I assume you’re a hero. Which is surprising because none of us knew Paris had heroes.” Tim cut the two of them off before more could be said.

“Yes that’s becoming a common theme I’m finding,” Marinette began. “My name is Ladybug in the mask. I have a partner, Chat Noir, but he’s currently indisposed, something about paint in his hair.” Damian stifled a laugh as Marinette continued, “We have been operating out of Paris for the last few years, early on we tried contacting the Justice league but Green Lantern told us not to prank call him.”

“Oh did he now.” Tim said, leaning his head forward.

“Yes he did. Thankfully my power allows me to reverse all damage done during a fight. Including any lives lost or monuments destroyed.”

“That sounds like a very useful power. I'm sure that the heroes of Gotham would love to work with you.” There was a twinkle in his eye that Damian knew meant Tim was concocting some scheme. He was about to jump in, but Marinette got there first.

“Yes I’m sure you would but the issue is we currently have our hands full here although from what Damian told me you guys sound much more fun to work with. At least the villains have better costumes.”

Tim noting her wording turned to Damian, “Did you tell her the family secret? You know what Alfred will do if he finds out.”

Damian smirked “I’m not an idiot Drake this was all her. She could rival you for deductive reasoning.” Marinette just sat there looking innocent.

“Well that explains why the two of you were sneaking around together, Ladybug should I assume Damian knows your identity as well?”

“Yep.”

“Well this is going to be a nightmare. But this just means  I can formally invite you to Gotham at least. Ha just leave it to the Ice Prince to leak the identity on his first civilian trip abroad.” Tim leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

“Actually it was you guys who tipped me off.”

Tim suddenly opened his eyes and looked her straight in the eyes. “Come again.”

“Well it was the fact that no one had spied Robin around Batman while Damian was in France. Then the fact that you were patrolling rather than him tipped me off that Robin might be on a vacation..” Tim just face palmed.

“Of course that would happen, how did we not see it coming.” He muttered to himself. “Wait, that begs another question: how did you two meet.”

Damian blushed and before Ladybug could respond he said “not important, there was an akuma. Now do you need anything else.”

“Actually yeah. Ladybug you mentioned the video you sent to Green Lantern, well Batman found it and wanted us to investigate. He didn’t know Green Lantern had seen it or otherwise he’d be on his way back to Ooa healing from a scolding from Alfred. Dick and Jason wanted to come but Bruce needed someone he could send discreetly and who better than the Co-CEO of Wayne industries who could just be checking up on the Paris branch.” Ladybug was impressed by the scheming having Dick Greyson or Jason Todd come in would stir up villain or media activity but Tim the third son wouldn’t.

“Well if you want we can meet up with my partner later and you can formulate a list of questions. Plus it seems you and Damian have some catching up to do.”

“There was a reason I came to Paris Ladybug. Being forced to talk to Tim was not one of them.” Damian made to leave only for a yoyo to catch his leg. Ladybug smirked at him. “Maybe a five minute chat couldn’t hurt anyone. Family reunion and all that.”

“Great then as long as everyones in agreement I can set up a time with chat later this evening for all of us to talk things through and get a strategy in place.”

“Are you sure about this having the league involved is going to cause a lot of chaos and even more dangerous villains could target Paris.”

“Tim I have dealt with so much crap the last couple of years that at this point I will take Darkseid over Lila…… Oh crap. We forgot about Lila.” Marinette looked at Damian who was coming to the same realization she was. He called out Lila in the bakery, and outed himself as a Wayne.

“Do I want to know?” Tim said rubbing his temples. He did not miss highschool.

“Lets just say school tomorrow’s going to be interesting, and I think we’re going to have to put the meeting on hold till after it. Ladybug and I are going to need to deal with school tomorrow, and caffeine isn’t gonna cut it.” Damian said.

“Then again if we aren’t lucid tomorrow might not be so bad….” Marinette began

“Do not even finish that, you even more than me need sleep. Between fashion, school and heroing you function off an hour.”

“You.. have a point. I’ll brief Chat on the situation on my way home. In the meantime I’ll leave you too to the brotherly bonding I’m sure you need.” she pulled her yoyo from her pocket, “See you tomorrow Damian, and whatever plan you hatch up make sure nit doesn’t include killing anyone.”

“Goodnight Ma--- Ladybug. And no promises.” The boy caught himself before revealing Ladybug's identity. She gave him the look of ‘don’t fuck up my secret identity bird boy’ before jumping out the window to run from rooftop to rooftop.

“So. how long have you had a crush on her.” Tim pulled Damians attention, and Damian was sudden;y very glad he had said nothing about not killing his brother.

--------------------------------------

“Do you think they’ll actually help this time?” Chat’s voice rang over the phone, Marinette had stopped behind one of the chimneys to talk to him in private.

“I don’t know, at least now they are actually considering it rather than just brushing us off as children.” Marinette was tired but they needed to have this chat now, there wouldn’t be any chance to in class tomorrow.

“Yeah, just don’t get your hopes up. They left us to fend for ourselves for 3 years and are only doing this now because of Damian if you didn’t know him then none of this would’ve happened.  

“Ok but why does that matter that it’s Damian? They could’ve been doing it because of Jon too.”

“Oh please, you're more dense than our class sometimes. Jon would’ve noted it then forgotten to tell someone, but Damian told Batman right away. Why do you think he did that?”

“Chat I am too tired for this.” Marinette could feel Adrien facepalming through the phone.

“Oh I am not spelling this out for you, this time you get to figure it out yourself.”

“Fine. but next time you need help on your calc homework don’t come running to me.” Marinette hung up on him and made her way home. The parisian streets were nice and quiet for her, no akuma meant maybe another hour of sleep.

Once she was out of the suit she let Tikki rest and got right to work on the new piece she was making for Jagged, he wanted to somehow have the score of his newest piece sewn onto the pants for his next concert, and she had to brainstorm.

Twenty minutes went by.

Then an hour.

Then two.

Finally she put up her pencil and put on her pajamas, as she was falling asleep Adriens words kept replaying in her head, and the meaning slammed into her like a truck. Pulling out her phone she sent one message.

Oh fuck off

tag list: @clumsy-owl-4178 @pawsitivelymiraculous @yuulxd @smolplantmum @inarachi02 @notmycupoftea26 @laurcad123 @unknownvsworld @jeminiikrystal @megawhitleycalderonpaganus

[skullrock]

the campers, chapter two - Steve x Reader

gif by @harringtown

chapter two: the trainee 

series summary:Steve gets a job as a camp counselor at Camp Know Where, intending on using the summer to discover himself. When things start to go wrong at camp, the only people that can help him are the Party, Hopper, and his mortal enemy - you. [Enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, hurt/comfort]

chapter summary: Steve gets in the swing of things quickly, much to your dismay.

warnings: swearing!

word count: 2.7k

a/n: you can catch up on the series here! hope you enjoy this chapter!

===

Dustin and Steve are luckily paired into the same cabin, but they have different rooms. Steve’s roommate isn’t in when he goes to drop off his things, but Dustin assures that the man, Nico, is a cool dude.

“Not as cool as you though, Steve,” Dustin says, giving him a firm pat on the back. Steve smiles slightly and nods, appreciating the sentiment. Especially after being blasted by you.

“Are you going to tell me what’s up with you and Y/N?”

“No,” Steve says curtly, shutting and locking his room.

Dustin waits a few moments to see if Steve will fess up, but he doesn’t. Actually, Steve sets his jaw tightly, making Dustin even more curious. “I guess you guys don’t like each other, huh?”

“No,” Steve says again. He runs a hand through his hair. “Well - she doesn’t like me.”

“She knew you as Asshole Steve?”

Steve sighs heavily. “Yeah. She knew me as Asshole Steve.”

Dustin shrugs as they start to make their way to their orientations. “You’ll just have to show her how you changed, that’s all.”

Steve scoffs and shakes his head. “It doesn’t even matter.”

Dustin knows he doesn’t mean that, but he stops prodding for answers.

They continue their walk down from the cabins to the activity center, filled with classrooms, the cafeteria, and research labs. Steve enjoys the area already, happy to see the sun glistening off of the lake and the large hemlocks and oaks. The wind smells like pine and juniper, even in the summer, relaxing Steve’s mind. The woods do scare him now, there’s no denying that. But these aren’t the sinister woods behind his house in Hawkins. These woods are welcoming and cheery, bright and charming. Steve loves the open fields for archery and tag, the courts for basketball and tennis. He decides he’d really like to help out with the intramurals, giving up on the science aspect before even getting the chance to explore it.

Steve’s train of thought is derailed when he hears a sweet voice call out, “Dusty-bun?”

Dustin turns on his heel, a smile spreading widely across his face. He runs to meet her halfway, picking her up and twirling her. The girl laughs happily, and they kiss for a moment before Steve clears his throat. “Is this Suzie?”

“It’s Suzie,” Dustin says, sighly happily. “Suzie, this is Steve.”

She extends her hand and Steve takes it, surprised by how firm her grip is. She’s alright, Steve thinks. She’s got this Mormon vibe going on, but her smile is bright and her personality is welcoming. Steve’s happy to find out that Suzie is an actual person, and while she has no Phoebe Cates in her at all, she’s a perfect match for Dustin.

Steve third wheels as they continue to walk towards the activity center, again being pulled back to his thoughts. His mind falls on what you’d said earlier.

It feels like a rock sits in his gut when he thinks about camp when he was younger. He knows he was an asshole, he can feel it in his bones. He knows he hung out with Tommy H. and some other dickheads, and he has glimpses of memories of tripping, pushing, and pranking. But he really doesn’t remember a lot. He’s not sure if he’s from the concussions or because he willed those thoughts out of his memory - but they aren’t there. Only insignificant ones remain. Like how his bedsheets in his cabin were blue and red plaid; how he would wake up at 7:15 to take a walk before Tommy would wake up; he even remembers the bitter taste of the orange juice hitting his tongue at breakfast. It’s like his mind zeroed in on the insignificant things so that the hurtful memories stay in the back of his mind, sitting like a cobra, waiting to strike.

The trio arrives at the activity center.

“I’ll see you tonight, Steve,” Dustin says. “Don’t worry - you’ll do great.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Steve mumbles, anxiety twisting in his gut. “Nice to meet you, Suzie.”

She smiles brightly and starts off, but Dustin stays behind. “Hotter than Phoebe Cates, right?”

Steve forces a smile and nods, giving him a thumbs up. “You really did it, man.”

Dustin winks and walks away, leaving Steve alone and sweating bullets. He hates being alone - he can’t stand being by himself anymore. Especially now that he knows you’re on the loose here, probably plotting some sick pranks. But he forces himself to move his feet up to the orientation check in.

“Name?” a man with the nametag Josh asks.

“Uh, It’s Steve. Harrington.”

He gets his bundle - a nametag, a hat just like Dustin’s, a few lime green and yellow Camp Know Where shirts (reading LEADER on the back), a drawstring bag, some pens, and a notebook. Steve forces himself to not make a face at the shirt - it’s disgusting and it will certainly ruin his chances with the ladies. He’ll wear it - he’s just not happy about it. And, besides, the first girl he interacted with at camp nearly bit his head off, so maybe he shouldn’t be so worried about his chances. Maybe he should be worried about not fucking up this time.

He takes a seat in one of the large lecture halls, sitting as far away from everyone as possible. Nearly everyone who walks in waves at him and sits close, making Steve clench his fists and bounce his legs. He literally does not remember how to be social - it’s like a second language that he forgot. It pains him that he can’t strike up conversations like he used to, but those around him help.

“Hi, I’m Kara,” a girl his age says, sitting down right next to him. “Who are you?”

Steve blinks. “Oh - I’m Steve.”

She reaches out and shakes his hand, smiling. “You’re new, right?”

“Is it that easy to tell?”

Kara laughs. “Don’t worry, Steve - you’ll get the hang of the flow soon enough.”

Okay, maybe he does have a chance with some ladies.

You come into the room, eyes searching for Steve. You see your buddy Kara talking to him and you curse under your breath. She’s not supposed to be friends with him - she’s probably going to try to bone him in the next week, too, and you don’t want that either. You march up to Josh, the leader of leaders, and pull him down to your level. “You cannot - you will not - pair me with Steve Harrington.”

Josh’s brows furrow and he looks up at Steve, remembering him from earlier. “What, you scared of that dork?”

You groan and roll your eyes. “He was such an asshole to me - we used to go to camp together. He made my summers hell, Josh. I can’t be around him.”

Josh pauses and shrugs. “Okay, no problem, I’ll pair him with someone else.”

You sigh in relief and take a seat at the front, where a panel of veteran counselors sit. You try to be social, but the bile keeps rising from your stomach to your throat. You feel sick. You feel like this summer is going to be an absolute nightmare. And while you’re so far beyond who you used to be - that kid who couldn’t even look people in the eye - you’re scared that his presence will revert you back into that little girl. And it’s the last thing you want.

Josh claps his hands a while later, signalling the start of orientation. Steve shifts in his seat and pulls out his notebook and a pen. He doesn’t know shit about note taking, but he reckons he should try. You grab your notebook too, excited to learn and meet with the new folks.

“Welcome to Camp Know Where!” Josh says.

The room erupts in cheers and Steve can feel his old self creeping back in, the insult of dorks running through his head - as if he isn’t clearly one himself. But he composes himself, clapping lightly along with everyone else.

“Here at Camp Know Where, we want to create a welcoming, safe environment for our kids to explore the world through science, math, engineering, and technology.” Steve writes it down quickly, forming the acronym “SMET”, and giggling to himself.

“It’s our job as counselors to facilitate learning in a fun, positive, and energetic way. Through orientation, you’re going to meet your fellow counselors, learn some things, and find a designation at camp. We work with you! If you think you’d be better at doing science, we’ll help you find your place in the classroom. But if you’d like to work with intramurals, we can place you out in nature. However, we still want to make sure everyone has a good grasp at all activities, so you’ll be cycled through everything we have to offer at Camp Know Where.”

Steve writes down “science - intramurals - whatever - know it all.”

“Today, though, we’ll be doing some icebreakers, and then some brainstorming.”

The room erupts in groans, Steve’s perhaps being the loudest.

“Relax, they’re fun.” Josh beams and holds up a clipboard. “I’m going to split everyone off with a partner now. This will be your partner all through camp. You’ll do something with everyone, but your partner is like your mentor. The newer folks will be paired with someone who’s been here a while to help you get in the swing of things.”

You shift in your seat. Maybe you’ll make a new friend - maybe you’ll get along famously - it was an exciting concept.

Or, it is, until Josh calls out, “Y/N and Steve.”

The shit eating grin on his face is unimaginable. He looks down at you, smiling, eyes shining, as if to say, get over it. If you had a bat, you would have hit him with it. Your stomach sinks, it rolls, it twists. Your palms sweat, your head races, but it stays forward, eyes trained on the podium in front of you.

Steve feels the exact same, except his legs are telling him to get the hell out of there. He knows his protests will fall on deaf ears, and who would accommodate him, anyway? He rests his head in his hands as Josh continues to read off names.

“Alright, get with your partner. We’re going to play two truths and a lie!”

Phenomenal, you think. The worst icebreaker of all time, and it’s with Steve Harrington.

You push yourself up out of your seat and force your legs to move towards him, sitting down next to him but a chair away, keeping a distance. Steve’s okay with it - it actually helps him breathe.

The rest of the room fills with laughs and chatter, but you both stare in silence for a long while. Finally, Steve says, “So -”

“We aren’t friends,” you interrupt. “We aren’t friends now, we weren’t friends then, and in the future, we won’t be friends. Got it?”

Steve swallows hard and nods. Despite the dryness in his throat, he tries to apologize. “Look, I know I wasn’t nice when he were kids -”

You scoff. He continues. “But I swear to God, or whatever, I’ve changed. I’m not like that anymore. I - I don’t even hang out with Tommy. I just hang out with Dustin and this girl called Robin, you don’t know her - she’s pretty cool -”

“Save it,” you say harshly. “We can talk since it’s our job, but I don’t care about your life now, and I know you don’t care about mine.”

No icebreakers are played between you - the only thing played is an intense staring contest, which makes you angry and Steve horrified. Finally, Josh claps again, and then the real orientation begins. Josh hands out papers with scenarios on them, the goal being to brainstorm ways to demonstrate good leadership. Things like, a camper is obviously intoxicated - what do you do? and what’s the best way to improve a camper who isn’t doing well?

“Wait,” Steve says as Josh places the paper down. “Are we sw- switching partners?”

“Nope!” Josh says, popping the ‘p’. “Not yet.”

Steve wants to die.

To your surprise, Steve has some pretty phenomenal ideas for how to be a good leader. He even delves into how he would bond with the campers - he’d play sports with them, facilitate idea generating, become someone they can come to and confide in. He wouldn’t shut down their ideas, but rather help them expand on them. You think that he actually has some really good concepts.

“I just want them to trust me, you know?” he says quietly. “I want them to feel like they have a chance and that they can come to me for anything.”

You furrow your brows. “How’d you get these good ideas?”

“Dustin,” he admits, a bit sheepishly. “And some of his friends, too. They’ve helped me understand how to be better at listening and helping and understanding.”

You nod stiffly, not wanting to become too impressed with him. “Well, you have some solid ideas.”

Steve’s eyes widen and brighten. “You think?”

You shrug. “They’re not bad.”

And just like that, Steve feels like he has a purpose.

The room forms back together to go over their responses, and for the first time in his life, Steve offers his perspective in a public setting without being condescending or rude. The feeling of raising his hand was awkward and unknown, but he kept doing it, in love with the nods of support from the other counselors. Someone said he must have a knack for being a leader, and Steve beamed brighter than he had in months.

You, of course, hated it, but you had no authority to tell him to shut up. To you, it seemed fake and, frankly, out of nowhere. But you couldn’t help to agree with some of his points and ideas. You hated it.

You all break for the day at five. You practically run out of the room, gasping in the fresh air outside quickly. Josh walks past you and slaps your back, turning around to smile at you. “Have fun?”

“I will kill you.”

“Can’t wait!”

You’d lost your appetite after the hours spent with Steve, so you stay outside, sitting on a picnic bench and contemplating. You wonder if Steve is right when he says he’s changed. Past Steve would never say such things, would never even bother to put in an effort. But he was giving more of an effort than most people in that room, and it genuinely shocked you. Maybe Dustin had something to do with it - but that seemed improbable, too. The whole thing was so bizarre that it made your head spin and your knees weak.

You see Dustin heading inside and call out for him, beckoning him over. His brows furrow tightly but he walks over, sitting down across from you. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“What’s Steve’s deal?”

“Look, I hated him too,” Dustin says. “I mean, I really hated him. Like, I wanted to punch him -”

“I get it.”

“Right. But he’s changed. He got sober really fast a few years back and he hasn’t been the same since.” Dustin pauses, choosing his words carefully. “A lot of stuff has happened to him… and I think it’s changed him for the better. He’s been through a lot. He’s just trying to find himself now. That’s why he’s here.”

You sigh heavily. “You think he’s better?”

“I know he’s better.” Dustin smiles. “And that’s why I think you should give him a chance.”

“No way,” you scoff. “He never gave me a chance.”

“Shouldn’t stoop to past Steve’s level.” Dustin’s smile widens. “You’ll hurt your back.”

You roll your eyes. You don’t want this kid to be right, but you know he is.

“Just - give him a chance, please? He really deserves one. He’s my best friend… he deserves a shot.”

You sigh again. “Fine.”

===

taglist (join here!):  @troop-scoop @therealestdookie @jasontoddisfantastical @mybestfriendthedingus @anonymousonion23 @darth-el @unknownherelm @random-thoughts-003 @metuel18 @dark-academics-and-florals @magicstrengthandcourage @mathchampagne @magnitude101999 @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @sunshine-and-riverwater @dark-academics-and-florals @scooprtroopr @heart-eye-harrington @sourapplebaby​ @comedy-witch​

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, PHOEBE! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF SALOME.

Admin Rosey: This was incredibly difficult. Both applications were stunning and shined in the limelight - but there were these small details, Phoebe, that you included that had us absolutely captivated. Salome, I think, is a difficult character to encompass so wholly while not overlooking the details. But you managed to do that, to tie her all together while not putting her in a package. The application was such a joy to read from beginning to end - the way that you tied so many different characters into her, into her future. It was an absolute thrill to read because I was able to see so much while still being tantalized by possibilities. I can’t wait to see how Salome shines on the dash! Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Phoebe

Age | 22

Personal Pronouns | She/her

Activity Level | Pretty active (6/10?) due to a national lockdown, but I’m a postgrad student so some days are busier than others.

Timezone | GMT

Triggers | REMOVED

How did you find the group?  | I check out the ‘new rpg’ tag a few times a year & your graphics and then everything drew me in

Current/Past RP Accounts | Masha Vetrova @ ProchnostRPG

IN CHARACTER

Character | SALOME

What drew you to this character? |  Typically I tend to go for characters who have a fundamental moral alignment of ‘good’ (even if it’s been a bit corrupted) so at first I was really drawn to Gabriel/Abaddon/Isolde. I even brainstormed them a bit before moving onto the demon bios.

But then I read Salome’s bio, and I really couldn’t get her out of my mind. There is something so delicious about her, so dastardly poetic. In a way, she’s as pure of heart as many morally good characters - patient, steadfast, true to herself. It’s just that her heart is a blackened one. A nature so rotted that even eternal damnation in Hell’s Abyss was not enough. The only fitting destiny was a demonic one, and the wings tore out of her body as if they’d been there, dormant, all along.

I know the story of Salome (thanks Oscar Wilde) & I just adore the way in which the bio weaves the biblical story into this world and this character. Salome the Temptress, unflinching as she demands the head of John the Baptist and damns all around her to Hell. This one line in particular from Rosey really, really captured it all for me:

No, the minute her mortal heart stopped beating and she opened her eyes to the fires of Hell, there was only laughter to be heard – pouring from her lips as melodic as a lark’s song, a stark contrast to the wailing and grinding of teeth.

Salome feels young and charming and spoiled and light and warm and content and this image - her descending into Hell, disrupting it with her peals of laughter - sums it all up. She is arrogant and uninhibited with her sins plain for all to see. But she is also clever. She is a girl who dances with the dead; demon through and through. She lets them openly see it so that they do not think to look closer. For if they did, surely they would see Salome was more damned than they’d ever envisioned? See that the open delight she projects - the laughter and fevered dancing, - all distract from a mind capable of cold, calm strategy? See that her hands are beautiful because they are stained with the first blood of this new world?

…All of which is to say that Salome the Temptress has worked that tempting magic of hers on me too - hook, line and sinker.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | If it serves your guys’ plotting vision then absolutely! I’d just ask to write the death scene/have some say in the way it went down. (The person killing her off better be prepared for the fight of their lives).

FUTURE PLOT IDEAS

• (small) PLEASURES •

Grand plans and power grabs are all very well, but day to day (on the dash lol) Salome is ruled by small pleasures and indulgences. What was the point of forging this new world if not to luxuriate in it?

01. I’m very curious to see how her relations with all the other demons play out. Salome is by and large a solitary creature - the natural result of her arrogance - but I think there are some demons she favours more than others. I could see a potential friendship (or the lesser version of that bond) with ORIAS, for one. There were those who saw something akin to witchcraft in Salome too. There had been envy, when Orias was hailed the Original Witch, but even Salome has come to recognise the ungodly power that resides in them. They are one of the only creatures that Salome has any real respect for. She understands that there is value to learn in what Orias can teach.They call them the false prophet - it seems poetic that Salome is drawn to her. (So ! Much ! Potential ! Witchy ! Power !)

02. So too can I imagine Salome having a particular curiosity towards MAMMON. Hungry and dark and empty, Mammon is probably Salome’s demonic ideal. With mortal origins herself, they represent a different kind of demon – one she thinks is utterly beautiful. Their future ambitions could align, both with a deep, aching appetites, but I can also see her purely enjoying the unique company of them. Salome does not treat her ability with any real respect or caution; she sees the dead as a game. think she’d genuinely delight in Mammon mimicking her gift and the amusements that could follow. (Ok not to say I’m suggesting deal body party games but it’s very that)

03. Salome gets equal pleasure (if not a great deal more) from less-than-friendly relations. She pushes purely because other people’s irritation amuses her. I think her relationship with AZAZEL in particular could be very, very fun. Of all the demons, I can see Salome having a particularly petty dislike / jealousy of Azazel for a few many reasons.. A) they are both products of indulgence, daughters of parents (literally and figuratively) who spoiled them rotten. Similarities repel and all that. B) Azazel is part of the de facto royal family, favoured by JUDAS.. and DAMIEN .. and ABADDON .. and Salome has not ever handled that well. She watched on as they, along with the rest of hell, fell for her and thus a time-old grudge was born. C) Azazel forms part of the Holy Land’s rulership. A land that was won because of Salome (in her mind) and one she feels has rights of ownership too. I imagine that Salome genuinely despises that the role was given to Azazel of all demons. I - I just sense so many great opportunities for both bickering and battling.

04. Salome draws great pleasure from her own magnetism. Devotion has followed her throughout the stages of her life, but it too has come to wax and wane. It is there in BASTIEN though, and it’s one of the connections I’m most excited for. He satisfies her addiction, and in return she is both doting and cruel. There is some value in him politically, bu it’i more of a .. personal connection. That could change though. Or, perhaps a genuine fondness might develop, in the same way that other celestial beings seem to be fond of their animal companions. A muted form of possessiveness over his gaze and his wonderment (which may well manifest in Salome having a particular resentment towards EVANGELINE) . If he were to share out his devotion, or if it was curtailed by any harm coming to Bastien himself, Salome would not be happy. Perhaps his attentions have come to somewhat satiate her appetite and tentatively restrains her darkest needs - a fact that neither of them have realised. (!!!!!)

• (medium) OPPORTUNITIES •

05. There are some things she keeps to herself - at least for now. There’s a lot of potential for self-paras or connections with the wider RP plot. To me, Salome has something akin to true addiction inside of her. It was there from the moment of her mortal birth, and it worsened with each hit. Essentially, I think an inescapable plot point is that Salome is a lil’ bit bloodthirsty. I think this would largely be developed through my own musings and mortals who are just ‘extras’ to this RP, but I’d love to deal with the intricacies of Salome having to cover this habit. Maybe she continues to use others as scapegoats; maybe she chooses her victims with careful attention so that they go unnoticed; maybe she does it in such a way that implies the presence of a beast or daemonium.

( In fact, the concept of the DAEMONIUM is verrrrrrrrrry intriguing. Creates who inhabit corpses and do nothing but feed their hunger? Sounds like a character I know. This is a potential plot point that relies on your guys’ vision and some collaborative world-building, but I think there is definitely exciting potential to explore these creatures through Salome. Imagine the carnage of her trying (successfully or unsuccessfully) to out-possess them.)

06. I think Salome would take any opportunity to poison Infernum’s highest-ranking. This isn’t so much be her political ‘end-goal’, but an opportunity for some real entertainment. It would be a game, try and crack the kinship that exists among  AZAZEL, JUDAS, DAMIEN and ABADDON; injecting a few words here, a few doubts there, and see if their loyalty lasts.. She knows Judas from a past life and has watched him oh so carefully overtheir many entwined centuries - I imagine she is a gnat to him, pushing all the right (and thus wrong) buttons. It would a sport to try and make his familial dynasty crumble. Perhaps she might attempt this by throwing doubt on to Abaddon in particular, whose aura contains a flatness that Salome cannot read. Salome doesn’t know of the goodness that lies in her, but perhaps she might find out. Regardless, I think Salome’s worst imaginable fate would be being locked in the Black Cells, unable to dance and revel in the world, so she harbours dislike for Abaddon anyway…

07. EPHEMERA is an opportunity that Salome had not anticipated. And let me tell you, boy do I adore this connection. It strikes me as a true clashing of teeth and spirits, but not as simple as one born from pure malice or hatred. Salome feels many things towards Ephemera, but she certainly doesn’t hate her - even if the ferocity between them implies otherwise sometimes. There’s a thin line between love and hate, as they say, though perhaps neither of those terms sum up Salome an Ephemera. It seems to be pure passion and temptation. I can’t say where this could lead without the thoughts of a possible Ephemera writer, but I’m sure it will be nothing short of explosive. I think this connection is the most Salome has ever felt towards another being, and that in itself is curious to her.

• (great) AMBITIONS •

The possible destinies of Salome. The following are all ways in which her story could play out, and all of them are quite dramatic. Who’s afraid of the big, bad plots….

08. Infernum technically has no throne. In order to thus claim it, perhaps one first has to be built? Salome would have no qualms choosing a side in another demonic cvil war. Why, if DAMIEN were to stake the claim of his birthright against JUDAS, he could count on Salome for support. If Judas were to live up to his title and betray the antichrist, he could count on Salome for support - if he got there before the other. Salome will happily help them consolidate a throne through bloodshed and betrayal. In fact, it will be her pleasure.

For through it all, Salome will be the demon who has thought to use MICHAEL. They are insufferable and righteous and (quite literally) archangel incarnate - really, if she had the chance, she knows that their blood would be the most utterly divine to spill - but they are useful. Undeniably powerful. Salome knows she must be careful here, but she enjoys the undisguised exasperation on their face. As if they have not yet thought to recognise the ambition that lies in both of them. If they helped her ascend to the throne of Infurnem, she would be a far more acquiescent to Caelum’s interests than the current leadership. Why? Because Salome would not act - would not even pretend to act - on behalf of demonic interests. If the best chance of her claiming ownership of the world depended on sharing it with Michael, then perhaps she would be willing.

09. But power can manifest in more than one way. She could follow such dreams, or she could become the world’s nightmares. And wouldn’t that be more indulgent? Where others hold power or peace as their prime ambition, Salome would get equal pleasure from the simple decay of all things. The world could rot and she would laugh - the dead are often better company than the living. Ultimately Salome would start another war without hesitation; she would sacrifice everything and everyone for the beautiful carnage of utter destruction. It had been so easy with the War of the Last Rites, but she had been disappointed when it ended in peace. That will not happen again; she will be ready next time. When all factions are suitably engaged, she will raise her own force and strike them all down together. — Such are her thoughts anyway. Thoughts that started developing when she met RYUK. To her, the power Ryuk holds is breathtaking. There is no other ability she desires quite as much. For if she were to contain both of their powers within herself, she would have dominion over a force so great that no living creature - mortal or immortal - could ever hope to defeat. The dead. It is a delicate strategy, but she has the patience for it. And if there was any who would spill the blood of a horseman just to see what happened, then it would surely be Salome.

10. Where there are mortals, there is faith. The relationship between Salome and the faith of the HUNDRED-EYED GOD intrigues me. In her mortal life, faith was an amusement. Its believers has been her playthings - perhaps they are again in this world. ISOLDE is as all prophets are; tempting. I think that Salome could potentially decide to join the faith – or give the impression to do so. Such a deceit would be fun and far from difficult - already she joins in on their rituals, her feet unable to stay away from any form of rhythmic movement, even ones more gentle than her usual tastes. A demon of relative influence, perhaps her faith would be welcomed amongst those most holy, perceived as a positive development in the faith’s recruitment. Perhaps she finds a currently unknown fellowship in the form of ESTIENNE, whose manipulation of the shadows surely speaks of some rot in his heart.

And all for one simple reason. Where there is faith, there are the faithful. Where there is the faithful, there is the potential for bloodshed so rich - so intoxicating - that she would play this long, patient game just to taste a singular drop. She has never been able to recreate the electrification of that first diabolical deed, when she claimed a saint’s head as her prize. She had danced and damned and thirsted ever since; the blood of an ALL-SEEING PRIESTESS might just quench such a need.

• (potential) DOWNFALLS •

Ah, but all of the above are just potential ideas. It is just as likely that Salome would be subject to some downfalls and some .. rude awakenings. I adore the fact that both MICHAEL and RYUK have such different perceptions of their connections. They are both far smarter than she gives credit. Michael is, ultimately, more powerful than Salome on more ways than one - they will surely outplay her as they have everyone, though she might be of some use to them too. In Ryuk, Salome has started a war she might live to regret - one she hasn’t even realised she’s fighting. She has perhaps been a little naive here, and it will be quite something when she realises.

There are other possible connections that could prove Salome’s downfall – or at least a be a hindrance. In my mind, it is GABRIEL, ZADKIEL and CAPHRIEL that she is most weary of. They each have a light to them that she does not care for, along with the arrogance present in all angels. I say in the following section that Salome has no fears; they represent the closest thing she has to possible concerns. I don’t think she yet knows any of them particularly well outside of the War, but she has thought of their powers. The latter two in particular harbour gifts that could, potentially, expose Salome, and thus she has developed a specific distaste for them. And of course, she probably finds them particularly fun to antagonise.

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation | [TW: Implied suicide in section I ]

I think a large part of my attraction to Salome is that she isn’t really driven by an external force. Partly she is driven by the deep appetite within her (which I’ve mentioned more in other parts of this application) but I also think her motivations stem from her own intrinsic nature; she is pushed by her own heart towards ambitions that are mere extensions of her character. I think there are three central aspects of her character that best explain her motivations and actions: a complete lack of fear, an overwhelming self-adoration and a deep, petulant intolerance of monotony. Together, they’ve created a woman - a demon - amply motivated to do any of the above listed plot ideas.. One who simply does as she wants for no reason other than want itself. Below I’ve given three early examples (set in BP) of these traits taking root (and rot):

I • For what use is fear to those who are damned?

It was said that Jesus’ tomb lay empty. Through the wind Salome heard whispers of women who’d gone to mourn and found nothing - only stone and airwhere a pierced and bloodied body should have lain. It seemed the proclaimed child of God had evaded corporeal death yet again; that the words of the old, tiresome preacher whose head she once cradled had proved true. Their claims and their preachings were not false as her father had accused - but really, had not Salome always known that? Was it not she who had delivered John’s salvation, cast him up to his venerated Heaven? And as it happened - as both the head and the soul of John his body - had not she felt her own moment of pure, divine bliss?

It brought clarity; there was no hesitation in her now. She stood alone, looking out upon the depths of the Galilee Sea with an unconfined grin spread wide upon her face. She had known, always known, that the boredom of this life was only temporary. The adoration she received on earth had grown dull, she sought new, greater opportunities for her talents. There had existed a deep craving inside for as long as she could remember, one that had become increasingly difficult to satiate. It told her that her destiny lay outside of Heaven, that both the prophet and her father the king had been right to look upon her with fear. For if John and Jesus had ascended upwards, could she not leap down into her own descent? The idea of it felt so simple, so natural, so potentially powerful. Neither death nor the the promise of damnation brought her anything but intrigue. She thought of the wicked and the cruel, of the infernal depths to which she was bound, and felt only satisfied.

Mortal though she was, Salome was not afraid. Why should she fear her own destiny? Why should she fear for those she left behind? Fear had no place in a heart without hope. With a simple step, she threw herself into the icy water and waited to reach the blackest depths below.

II • For what use is love to those who are satisfied?

Where there was Salome there was laughter - her own, that was - sharp, loud and melodic. When she first opened her mouth it had sliced through Hell and turned all of its eyes onto her. Rightly so, for she she had laughed as she’d evaded Abaddon’s grasp, clawing herself out of the Abyss of mortal souls and claiming a rightful place in the depths of Hell. The Morningstar, sat above all, had not yet even spoken when Salome had started to dance.

She could feel Hell’s eyes on her, and what better way to greet such attentions than with that she did best. She had reaped rich rewards for it before, and she would do so again. A fleeting glance at her naked body showed her this realm had not dulled her beauty but made magnified it, her skin aglow with the fiery light of hellfire. And so Salome danced, feverishly but deliberately, losing herself in the spirit of the moment. What could anyone do but simply bask in the splendor of her new existence? As she raised her arms above her head, a pair of wings cut through her flesh and slowly tore out of her. Iridescent, they unfurled as if they too had felt the call of her movement.

A feast of celebration had followed. Salome could only laugh in delight as she looked upon demonic faces of adoration, gazes more alike than different to those she had received on earth. Seated at the left-hand of Lucifer himself, she had slotted into the natural order of Hell as if it had been her descent that had been prophesied on earth. How many in Hell, with all its angelic origins, had the blood of a true holy man on their hands? Perhaps just herself – and, she supposed, the man sat to the right of the Prince. Judas Iscariot. The Great Betrayer. A man she had known of in her mortality, a follower who’d wrought a downfall more entertaining than any Salome had otherwise witnessed. He looked on at her with a hard glint in his eyes and she merely smiled back - for Salome understood why. Here she was, a fellow mortal in Hell with infernal wings protruding from her back where Judas had none. It all made such perfect sense; Salome was truly different. Truly transcendent. Made and marked by forces darker then most of Hell could stand. In that moment (and all moments thereafter), Salome was acutely aware of the true power that resided within her, spilling out through her beauty, allure and wretched talents. Why, she was utterly glorious.

III • For what use is peace to those who are bored?

Eternity stretched out in front of her; memories of the wouldn’t fade. Of all the differences between immortal and mortal existence, it was only the nature of time that had ever frustrated her. To Salome, the centuries had passed by in both unfathomable speed and agonising monotony, the linearity of earth dead and gone. It seemed that in the face of an infinite future, even Hell could drag. It operated in a stasis that had begun to suffocate her and, gradually, had awakened once again an appetite that had only been temporally satiated. Lucifer dictated balance and moderation where Salome saw no reason for restraint. He had given her duties like none earth had ever dared, and she didn’t care to fulfil them. She had even grown tired of her puppetry, tired of dancing amongst such frustratingly passive bodies. There was, in a place of corruption, nobody left to actually corrupt; no opportunity to taste innocent or holy blood.

Over time she came to sense the quiet seeds of unrest in Hell, and she was gladdened by them. Once again a wicked smile graced her face, once again she twirled around the pits of Hell in anticipation. There was no better cure for boredom than chaos, and once she’d caught the scent of it her hunt could not be stopped. It had proven easy to have the whispers diverted and delivered to her ears - so many were under her spell, either terrified or infatuated. So Salome came to learn of plans of razing Hell against its master, ripping through worldly divides and claiming the earth she once lived on. At last - she could have wept from delight. And most entertaining of all, Salome had snatched the dice into her her hands.

How easy it would be to join the dissenters, to war with them against the order of Hell that had shackled her. How tempting it was, to dash their plans by raising her own blade to the Morningstar and plunging the world into carnage without warning. How fun, the thought of taking all she knew to Lucifer and laughing as he rained down revenge on the demons he had been foolish enough to trust. Impatient with monotony; patient in the face of action. Salome did not yet know what she would do, and she found utter delight in the potential of it all.

PARA SAMPLE

The Holy Land was not suited to revelry. It lacked the vitalityand decadent excessthat a true celebration required. And really, wasn’t this her domain? Nobody got more unadulterated pleasure from a celebration than Salome - she doubted that even the festivities of the Stygian Moon would be of renown without her inputs. This particular affair was proving even more tiresome than she’d foreseen. Every year she stands under the Triune Moon and watches as solemn vows are sworn; every year she wonders why they could not just be done so in private, sparing them all this tedium. She had said as much to Damien before as they had departed the comforts of the Black Palace, and had received little more than a scowl in response. But she knows her point has more merit than they’d care to admit. How long before these promises of harmony are exposed as a farce? At least that year promises some true entertainment.

Salome thinks all this as she watches the stage in front of her, eyes lazily switching between the three figures who stand upon it. The Sun, the Moon, the Stars; every pair of eyes in the sweeping crowd are trained on them. Salome can feel them. Or rather, she can’t feel the usual warmth of infatuated gazes on her own skin. Here she stood amongst hoards of mortals and beings more lowly than herself, and none were paying her their usual bouts of attention. The only thing that prevented a quiet tantrum was the knowledge that she was far from alone in feeling this agitation. Her stare flickered from the stage towards the figures of both Michael and Judas, and she could not help but smile. To eyes that had repeatedly examined them over centuries, the rigidity of their bodies betrayed them. She was far from the only one who felt the absence of centrality, and that, at least, brought her some pleasure.

Still, she only has so much patience for ceremonies not directed at her.  Yet no sooner did she shift to exit the crowd than did words delivered on the stage give her pause. Azazel’s voice, suitably haughty, repeating the typical sentiments of the Holy Land. This was the ‘Age of Peace’, Salome hears her say. Only the ‘cooperation of all factions and the formation of the tridium’ had rendered them ‘triumphant against the heretics who would cast all into darkness.’ This time she cannot hold in the delicate laugh that ripples through her. If only the annual repetition of such statements made them true. If only they knew of the true origins of the War that brought this so-called peace, of where the credit should rightfully lie. Though she knows it would be foolish - more than foolish - Salome can think of nothing but how simple it would be to stand above all and confess. She’d let them savour the details of her sins and her glories. She would laugh as they wilted under the weight of her revelations.

‘I’ve never seen you look so engrossed off of the battlefield.’

Her imaginings are cut off by quiet words from behind her. She needs not turn to identify the voice of Ephemera, familiar as it has come to be. Salome had, of course, seen her across the crowd - when did her eyes start to automatically seek her out so? - but marked her presence as an occupation for later. That Ephemera sought her out first is not necessarily unexpected, but certainly thrilling. There is no other presence that can so easily bring Salome out of a petulant mood, just as there is no other who can so easily put her in one. But she has found that where there is Ephemera, there is entertainment to be had.

“You have not seen me do many things,” she replies easily, as if they had long been having this conversation, “though I do believe I’ve offered.” And she has, more than once, tried to entice her with offers of dancing and hunting and enjoying all the vices of the world they fought for. She turns her head slowly to meet the watchful gaze of her once fighting-partner, a smirk on her lips as she widens her eyes in faux-innocence. They are two alike; mortals once but mortals no more, the first of their kinds. She knows Ephemera will not rise to her bait within the presence of other Angels, which only heightens her simpering expression. Salome has no such qualms about the thoughts of her own kin; their talk excites her, their gossip only confirms how many pay her heed. She has found no simpler joy than that of walking into the Black Palace and leaving excited whispers in her wake.

“I’m sure you’ll agree that celebrating won wars is less fun than waging them’, she continues, amusement ringing clear through her voice as she returned her gage purposefully to the stage. “I asked Azazel if she might add some zeal - perhapsmake those hounds do some tricks - but she seems to have ignored my good wishes”. Salome can feel the rolling of Angelic eyes next to her without even looking. It was so easy, so predictable, and yet anything but boring. That was the real curiosity of Ephemera, so easy to reel in and yet so resistant to truly jumping off the edge. She seemed halfway caught between accepting Salome’s allure and running from it, and the resistance only increased her desire. “Though your one is the more dull, I believe. So earnest - it’s quite exhausting.”

It is clear that Ephemera is acting advisor and strategist rather than - what? Friend? Enemy? Something in between? - whichraised the question as to why she had approached her in the first place. She thinks to ask, but when she opens her mouth to do so the crowd erupts in an applause more loud than she thinks the show was worthy of. Still, she brings her own hands together for the sheer relief that it is finally over. Her feet ache from standing bored for so long, her wings want to stretch open and wide. She wonders if a large enough quantity of alcohol might loosen Ephemera a little, but when she turns to declare this she finds that her companion has disappeared in the movement of so many people. A pity, but no real matter. She has never needed the company of others to create her own sport.

EXTRAS

[ My (WIP) pinterest for Salome can be found here. ]

Salome keeps no animal companion, for she has never felt much love for the nature of the earth. She finds it amusing that some Angels and Demons belittle themselves by keeping one. However, it is not an uncommon sight to see Salome walking with crows flying above her. Only on closer inspection would one realise those animals are but corpses, a puppetry Salome (alone) finds humorous.

Like all parts of herself, she harbours great love for her wings, and not only for the damnation that they represent. They are formed of what resembles a netting of fine, golden spider’s web. They seem to constantly change in the light, appearing to be more transparent than they are solid. Regal and beautiful, they are as Salome sees herself.

She is a fierce fighter and a connoisseur of bloodshed. Her weapon of choice is a trailing point blade, forged on the day of her arrival in Hell. She uses it exclusively for more.. intimate situations, and favours instead a simple longsword on the battlefield. She is however, proficient with most weaponry, as the corpses she can make fight use the same weapons they died wielding against her.

Though Infernum is the home she helped carve out, Salome spends a great deal of time in Sanctus Terra and travels to Caelum whenever the opportunity presents itself. Both locations amplify an itch deep within her soul, worsening her desire and thereby bringing greater satisfaction when she finally acts on the urge. She has not spilled any angelic blood in Caelum, though the temptation is strong, for she knows Michael has become astute to her presence. She has left a fair few victims in Sanctus Terra, a pursuit which has become less satisfying overtime. Still, Salome is careful. For all their talk of kinship, she is not sure that her fellow demons would refrain from locking her in the Black Cells if they had just cause.

[ aaaaaaand I leave you with the last verse of ‘Salome’, a poem by Mary Lamb. I honestly can’t describe it as anything over then *chef’s kiss*. I don’t know if Rosey read this when she was writing Salome’s bio, but I thought the writing style and tone and vibe and all beautifully mirrored each other?? Stunning. On that note, regardless of whether of not you think I’m right for Salome, thank you for the obvious amount of time/thought you’ve all put into this because it’s been really (really) fun to explore. ]

When painters would by art express Beauty in unloveliness, Thee, Herodias’ daughter, thee, They fittest subject take to be. They give thy form and features grace; But ever in they beauteous face They shew a steadfast cruel gaze, An eye unpitying; and amaze In all beholders deep they mark, That thou betrayest not one spark Of feeling for the ruthless deed, That did thy praiseful dance succeed. For on the head they make you look, As if a sullen joy you took, A cruel triumph, wicked pride, That for your sport a saint had died.

[script-a-world]

hello. i want to write a story set in a very religious place. like fanatic level of religious. in my mind, this place is ruled by what the church says but has a "cover" figure to "connect" with the people. the people of this place are devoted to their religion, meaning they know passages, go to mass, and shun those who don't support it. here is my question: how does one go about creating a religion that feels real? what do i need to take into consideration (i'm not religious myself).

Mod Miri Note: At the same time this came in we also received from the google form the question “How do I world build a religion?” I can’t confirm they’re the same anon, but we’re combining them for the answer.

Brainstormed: You seem to have a very… narrow perception of religion? If you aren’t religious yourself and you’re (presumably) from a Western culture, it makes sense that the Christian church and more specifically Catholicism are your go-to images of hyperreligion. Saying “mass” and “church” and “passages” kind of gives away the fact that you’re trying to base your religion off of at least your idea of an Abrahamic religion, but I’d ask you to reconsider. Right now it sounds like you’re trying to create a negative critique of these religions, and even if that is what you’re going for, you need to do a lot of research on their theology, history, and practices before you can do so with any competence.

I’d suggest doing some basic research on types of religions, like animism, pantheism, polytheism, general superstition, etc. There are plenty of spiritual worldviews that you might consider way over the top, but whose believers find it more bizarre when people don’t follow their teachings. Fanatics are never fanatics in their own mind, and especially among their own people, but also… fanatic might be a relative term. If you’re approaching this from a nonreligious background, then you might consider X-amount of religion in one’s lifestyle to be fanatic-level. Whereas a person who actively practices religion would consider X-amount to be perfectly normal, and only folks who take it to XX-amount plus some shadier practices are the true fanatics.

Remember, religions start because people want to make sense of the world. There is a deeper feeling of wonder and personhood and power, both within a human being and in the whole world around us, that drives spirituality and generates superstition. Religion, at least to start, is beneficial to people, otherwise no one but sadists would follow its teachings. Now, like anything else, religion can devolve into a means of power hoarding and control of a populace, but only because of the people in charge getting greedy. The vast majority of religions I’ve studied have had radical, freeing, empowering teachings applicable to everybody when they first sprang up, and only later did adherents twist those teachings into societal oppression. If there is no satisfaction or benefit in your religion, there won’t exactly be any incentive for people to follow it so closely, aside from whatever negative consequences occur for those who fall away. And negative consequences aren’t often enough to keep people in a religion. If following religion is more painful than the consequences of leaving it, plenty of people will jump ship.

Religion can also show up in every single part of life. According to Wikipedia:

A religious experience (sometimes known as a spiritual experience, sacred experience, or mystical experience) is a subjective experience which is interpreted within a religious framework. The concept originated in the 19th century, as a defense against the growing rationalism of Western society. William James popularised the concept.

You look up and see a cloud, a spiritual person sees a portent, or a spirit, or a castle where the gods live. You take a break from work for a minute, a spiritual person now has time to mutter a prayer, or observe the mood of the world, or dedicate their work to their god. A person doesn’t have to be anywhere near a fanatic to have their religion be in every part of their life. Especially if they adhere to a more lax spirituality or superstitious worldview instead of an organized religion, the central spiritual experience of religious belief alters the perception of self and surroundings. It isn’t only a set of rules to follow.

It can even help areas of society that modern Western society considers nonreligious! Historically, medicine has always come under religion. Witch doctors, medicine men, witchcraft, even the hygiene laws laid out in the Christian Bible. Physical health has often been considered a reflection of spiritual health, which, in a way, is true! The placebo effect means tending to one’s mental and emotional health with the reassurance of religion will improve one’s physical health as well. Not only that, but the power of a “spiritual experience”, regardless of if you believe the supernatural is real, can cause religious ecstacy, something you might perceive as a serious psychological problem but those who experience it consider to be a deep form of spiritual expression to be treasured and sought after. The spread and preservation of information is also often aided by religion, even though that can change should those in power want to change history or obscure truth for their own reasons. Just look at the history of the printing press and how that was driven by the need for Bibles. Many cultures, most famously Australian Aboriginal peoples, have oral histories thousands of years long that tie in closely to their spirituality.

You also might be confusing religion with cults. If you think all religion is predatory, playing on people’s weaknesses and fears in order to coerce them into a miserable lifestyle of following strict laws and living under control of those in power, you definitely have conflated “religion” and “cult”. If you’d like to worldbuild a cult, go ahead! It’s likely to be smaller and less acceptable than an established organized religion, not very transparent to the outside world nor its members, and have a spirituality that is in fact just a veneer over gaining power, instead of genuine belief and devotion, and may in fact require people to murder or commit suicide. Just look at Scientology, or these, or even Jared Leto, and a more in-depth look from this organization covering many different kinds of cults.

On a more worldbuildy note, are those who practice this religion correct? Does their god(s) exist? Is the supernatural real? If yes, then are they really fanatics if they’ve been right all along? Even if they’re incorrect, the dedication and deep-held beliefs of religious people shouldn’t be mocked wholesale, in my opinion. Make sure to keep some genuine three-dimensional development for characters who are part of this religion, or include other religions with different practices, or the only thing you’ll accomplish is “waaaa religion bad believers dumb”. And if that is the story you want to write, feel free, but I can’t help you there.

Feral: What makes a religion feel real? Sincere faith.

Specifically among the leaders. I mean, sure, those lemming-like peasants who actually believe that superstitious nonsense will have sincere faith, but honestly? There is going to be a higher percentage of people faking it among the masses than among the clergy. Clergy members are generally required to go through rigorous studies and often take vows that can cause great discomfort. I am sure there are those who did it for the power - there are in atheist organizations as well, humans can be crap - but if you actually read the writings of important Church leaders of the past, not to mention rabbis, imams & mullahs, and archakas, you’re going to find that they have sincere faith.

Something you should always keep in mind when developing pre-modern religion in a Western context is that before the advent of modern scholarship, which starts to become a thing in the West during the Renaissance, all the important scholars were clergy. And again, those learned people either had to be really, really dedicated to their power-hungry ambitions or had to have sincere faith.

That does not make religions perfect by any means nor does it mean that the god they have sincere faith in is omnibenevolent (though the qualities of an omnibenevolent god will be strongly dependent on the culture that worships it). And religious leaders are absolutely capable of doing terrible, terrible things even if they profess to worship an omnibenevolent god, and politicians can definitely twist things around to suit their needs (again, this is not exclusive to religiosity). But your ask has this weird given that a major religion (on par with Catholicism/Christianity) in your world is a scam, and while yes, that happens in cults and alternative religions and in splinter groups*, as Brainstormed pointed out that’s just not how, at least, the four major religions of our world got started.

Yes, it’s true that bureaucracies of a certain size and age will inevitably begin to change focus to protecting its own existence. And yes, it’s true that ambitious sociopaths will be drawn to places of authority even if they are difficult to achieve. And yes, it’s true that an individual entering a toxic environment is more likely to be changed by the environment than to change the environment. But guess what! That has nothing to do with whether the organization is religious or not.

Why does a religion exist in the first place? It explains the universe in a pre-modern world; it provides organization and structure for community focus - in other words, many social programs have historically been run through religious organizations and leadership. And it provides hope and comfort in a very scary world.

Some clergy might be able to fake all of that for a little while, but a large bureaucracy with many clerics who are all in on the fake? No. Allow me to rephrase: hell no. People are not dumb. Maybe you believe that of all religious people, but you are wrong and they are not. The people in your world, if they’re anything like the people in our world, are gonna sniff out the bullshit if none of their religious leaders believe what they’re selling. There is a reason Scientology has to keep blackmail files on all its adherents, and I promise you, the Catholic Church does not do that.

*A note on cults, alternative religions, and splinter groups: Cults and alternative religions (their PR friendly name) are “religions” that are scammy and/or actively dangerous to the participants or others: People’s Temple, Branch Davidian, etc. Splinter groups are congregations that start as normal members of a large religion or denomination but its insular culture creates a divide that just takes things a little too far even for the most fanatical of the main sect (think terrorist groups that link themselves to religions). These types of religions might be what you are actually asking about. Groups like these can be highly, highly influential but in a very contained area. What cults often do is the leader settles in an area and buys property and builds a church and maybe a school and then encourages the members to all move either onto the plot of land if it’s large enough or to buy up surrounding land and homes and push out all the non-believers. That area can then be fortified or just have a de facto boundary with the rest of the world. Sometimes a group like this can become large enough to constitute an entire town, but rarely a city - groups that large will more often have centralized compounds but with the members living scattered among non-believers, as Scientology does. Obviously a group concentrated like that will have an impact on local politics, if they are allowed to participate, but it’s not going to go farther than the county line, so to speak. As we all know from the news, splinter groups like ISIS can become very large and globe spanning, but those types of groups have within them splinter groups and factions, and I don’t think that’s what you’re asking about anyway, so I’m just going to leave it there.

But frankly, your ask reads to me as “how do I create a fantasy!Catholic that is secretly evil and will show the audience how evil religion is in the real world? Opiate of the masses!” And my advice is… don’t. Because it lacks compassionate understanding of people of faith (many faiths), it lacks a factual understanding of how world religions differ and function, it totally lacks nuance, and finally, because it is absolutely, monumentally, extremely, really, very cliche.

Maybe the way your ask is coming across to me is totally not how you intended it. Maybe you only used the jargon you used because you assumed we wouldn’t know any other terms and maybe your understanding of world religions is actually quite sophisticated. Maybe you really do have this insanely clever way to spin a tired cliche into some new and original. In these cases, we strongly encourage you to come right back with as jargon-full and specific an ask as you can write, use our submission google form to do it. Otherwise, give our responses some thought and if after you’ve developed your religion, you want to come back with a specific ask other than “how do I world build a religion?” (which is a little too broad), please feel free.

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 25: Thoughts on Writing

So I’ve decided I want to do a bit of thinking on writing. The truth is that I actually don’t think about it that often anymore, and haven’t for several weeks, not since I realized I needed a break and declared a hiatus. I really did think I’d get over that hiatus in a couple days but it’s seeping into me instead. I told myself I’d take as long as I needed but… at some point, because creating is difficult, you do need to make a choice to just do it even though it is hard and you don’t feel ready. I’ve been trying to balance that—knowing that writing is good for me and good for my mental health—with forgiveness for myself. Something is telling me that I need a break. I’m not always great at listening to myself, the unconscious urges and instincts, so I am trying to do that.

I suspect a big part of this is that I’m inching out of the fandom. I never plan to leave or enter a fandom, I just go where I feel I want to be. But nevertheless�� I am torn. A part of me doesn’t want to leave. That part thinks of all the good ideas I had and all the unfinished ideas, and wants to complete things, and to continue to explore. But another part of me just doesn’t care, doesn’t feel inspired at all. I’m not really inspired to write in other fandoms either (though I am toying with non-T100 ideas in a way I haven’t in probably about 3 years), so it’s not just that T100 isn’t an interesting place for me rn, and may never be again, but that is part of it for sure.

I could go into the other reasons but I didn’t sit down with the intention of dwelling on that. This is more about… what do I want, and what should I do? How much do I just content myself with other things and how much do I force myself to write, and in what direction? I could certainly fill my hours with other things, even other productive things. But being able to leave myself and my apartment, mentally, through writing is so important to me, and especially so now. I know that when I don’t write for long periods of time, my brain becomes stagnant and I feel dull. I already feel this happening. I’m not sure if it’s a chicken or an egg but I need the escape. I just don’t know how. I don’t even know my own instincts. What do I WANT, what’s the IDEAL, what should I be striving FOR?

So. There are a couple of possibilities.

One possible goal certainly is to finish things, to check things off a list. I love my lists and this part of me, the just do it part, has always been and will always be in conflict with the more creative part, which just wants to follow whims. Of course actually creating completed things of any sort does require discipline and forcing yourself when you don’t feel like it so I know these aren’t really incompatible instincts, but they do feel like it often. I have a lot of half-finished fics. I have a lot of ideas that have been haunting me for a while in an annoying way. And I have outstanding requests. So one thing I could do is just focus on those things that I most want to say ‘well that’s done now, good’ regardless of inspiration, and then hope that the joy of writing naturally follows, once I give myself time, space, goals, etc. The advantages of this are that even if it’s not as satisfying as I hoped, something will at least get done. Plus, I don’t need to figure out what I “really” want, or put pressure on myself to find the ‘perfect’ inspiration. It’s going to be hard no matter what, anyway.

The downside of this is that having a plan to get back into a hobby by making it the most like work as possible seems… dumb.

Another possibility is that I continue just writing fragments, individual scenes, free writes, etc., instead of pursuing stories, multi-chapter fics, or other longer projects. This is basically all I’ve been doing since finishing the AWWNH Interlude a month ago. The most story-like thing I wrote since then was Fifteen Miles, which did require a couple false starts, but which is still under 2k and pretty simple. I actually do like the scenes I’ve written and it feels good but not stressful. I have found in the past though that when I do too much of this kind of writing, it starts to feel… difficult in itself because each story is short but it’s also something I have to start from scratch. Of course it’s not like I have to do a certain number of them, so I can keep my overall output small while still not losing the writing habit entirely.

Option three: it’s not about writing, it’s about planning. To be honest, this is all a part of me wants to do. Outlines. Brainstorms. Sit on my couch with a notebook and hand write vague ideas I may or may not ever write. I haven’t actually been doing this, or at least not precisely and not much, partially because I just haven’t had the time/energy for ANYTHING recently, and partially because… I guess in a way I feel like I don’t deserve it. Like planning new projects is for when you’re done with current projects. I realize this is unreasonable but it’s the truth.

And finally, I could try to really, really detach myself from any care about what I “should” be writing, and just write whichever of my ideas most speaks to me in any given moment or, otherwise, something chosen randomly, since often it’s hard to tell what I’m in the mood for (again, creating is hard, and it’s always hard—doing nothing is always easier than pursuing even the best, most interesting idea). I don’t necessarily ever have to finish anything, and I can work for as long as I want or don’t want. Realistically, I’m probably not going to have much of an audience for my fics again, at least not in this fandom, so I might as well really lean into writing things for me. I don’t owe anything to anyone! If it’s not enjoyable for me and I don’t like the finished project, it is not worth it, and I should cease to care.

This attitude is not in my nature but I could use more of it.

The truth is I do want to be able to post things again and have people actually want to read them, to have them look exciting etc., because I’m only human and I love validation. But that’s beyond my control. So I can’t get caught up in it, or let it distract me in any way.

Realistically, I’ll probably do a combination of these things. I’ve been collecting a large document of current projects and ideas for a little bit now; it’s one of the few creativity-adjacent things I have been able to do and have liked doing. I’m going to continue with that, and I’m going to try to make time to write on the weekend. I’m going to put a slight emphasis on requests since I feel the worst about those being unfinished. And otherwise I’m just going to work on random projects, and try to be as little concerned with quality as possible, at least for now. I’m also going to make time to just plan stuff for fun, since that’s something I actually do actively want to do (and I know that it’s a lot harder than it seems… it’s still ‘work’ in a sense, still ‘productive’).

I’ve been really topsy-turvy this week and now that it’s almost over… I’m not sure what to expect from the weekend. I hope to get enough rest today and tomorrow that I can actually accomplish stuff on the weekend itself. I might be going out on Saturday… depending on the weather, just to sit outside away from my apartment. Might do some notebook-writing then. It’s demoralizing to spend a long time on something and get little in return, in terms of word counts, etc., but I’m going to try to gear myself up for that likelihood, and focus on what I need the writing for: to get out of myself, to deeply imagine another time and place and other people who aren’t me, and be in their heads. I would like that. I am going to try.

[iriatatting]

2OTH OF MARCH 2O2O

This was the last Communication Design Studies class I would attend for a while -physically of course. This does make me upset as I really enjoy these face to face classes and the discussion that happens within them. It’s all very fun and I’m sad that we will have to let that go for a while, but here’s to online learning! :) 

Now let’s get into what we covered in this class.

Our class started with Ben explaining and talking a little about our Design questions letterform assignment, showing us some examples of letterforms made of hand folds, candy and beads. Very inspiring but it also overwhelmed me a little bit as I am still struggling to find what I want to use as my materials for my question. I have an idea like using my hands shadows for the letterforms - but that doesn’t necessarily fit the brief as my hand’s shadows aren’t a tangible object. Here’s to more brainstorming! 🥂

Then we talked about how emojis are used for us to communicate to one another without words, referencing to the precious lecture we had looked at. Ben told us we would take our own spin on this using PlayDoh! I personally love the smell of Playdoh in case you wanted to know, but this was homemade and black – very chic.

We were told over and over not to eat this playdoh which concerned me as to what you guys think of us as students (😂)... I’m kidding of course…ahaha.

We were instructed to partner up with the person next to us – in my case this was Joseph!

We got a little blob of homemade playdoh each and a popsicle stick with it. The first thing we were told to write was our name just to get the hang of that flimsy stick.

After finding the hang of drawing with our popsicle sticks, we were told to write on our little generous playdoh pads again, but this time we had to write a question for our partner.

As you see in the picture I have attached, I asked Joseph what his mum’s name was, and he asked me what he should write. We then swapped and broke a little giggle as a class because our writing looked like it was out of a scary movie due to the gagged lines within the type created by the stick we were using to write.

We all read out our answers and shorty after Ben asked us to ask a question using only emojis, Joseph asked me where I live with a house and question mark emoji. This was very easy and straightforward to understand so it took me not even half a second to understand.

Ben then requested one last activity using our partners, to answer the question that was given us with a drawing. Joseph drew where he lived in the pad above as you can see by trying to draw maps and buildings, whereas I used a Greek flag as I live in Oakleigh and that area is known to be filled up with people from Greece. This activity was very fun to do and got our gears working to think of ways to communicate through pictures!

I really enjoyed working with a partner for this as it was good way to see how we communicate with others using pictures and how easily our ways of thinking are understood – also a great way to break the ice as we are still getting the hang of this new space!

[breakingitswings]

1-30

Not sure if this is all 30 I had to copy and paste one at a time

your favourite playlist (made by yourself or someone else): damn my old crying playlist from like 6 or so years ago. Never ever failed to hit hard

how many houseplants in your room, and what kinds are they?: none, not a plant person, although I like how they look, succulents are cute though

your favourite “grounding” activity (anything that involves using the hands/doesn’t involve “spacing out” or escapism - something like gardening, knitting, dancing, cooking): cleaning, cuz that usually involves dancing

an account on social media whose posts make you smile: my girl somethingabouttheway haha like the last account here I follow that's active. And a girl we know on fb always posts the funniest things.

5 tv shows that cheer you up: the office, brooklyne nine nine, soul eater, ouran high school host club, the good place

how you get relaxed when you’re struggling to sleep: I don't, I just put on YouTube and wait till I knock out

your favourite board game: my bros and I took a monopoly board and made our own, however it's broken and while one bro was getting all these things I still technically won. A version 2.0 patch is still to come

if you were going to write a non-fiction book on any topic, what would it be?: not sure, maybe heartbreaks, just curious to actually talk to people about emotions and thoughts on life in general but pain is always interesting

a quote that you would consider getting tattooed or putting in a frame: "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?" Dead Poets Society

something you’ve created in the last year that you’re proud of (a playlist, a piece of art, some writing, a craft hobby, a social media account, etc): oof been a year of just getting by, well last how many years I guess. One of my bros and i are trying to write more, we keep brainstorming ideas whenever we hang out

a tip or hack you’ve learned that makes cleaning or tidying easier: nothing, still clean how I usually do

if you could make a candle that smelt like anything, what would you pick?: I don't even know, honestly my favorite scent is usually from a girl so

the last so-bad-it’s-good joke you heard: what's a duck's favorite drug? Quack lol wasn't that good but a friend and I were just sending jokes at each other it was a good moment

an artist (of any kind) whose work you look forward to seeing: in what way? I mean love to see whatever epik high does next. Or I wanna read more of Neil Gaiman. Or now that I've heard of Terry Pratchett I wanna read the Discworld series

the last tv episode that made you laugh out loud: brooklyn nine nine, watch it every week

how you wake your body up when it’s feeling tired, achy or needs a stretch: so I slap my chest, rotate my shoulders and start jumping

a bath, shower, beauty or toiletry product that makes you feel revived, or that you always re-order when it’s running out: nada

a book series you can always escape in: I wanna read series of unfortunate events again, I have most of the books, found them at a place that sells used books

the sport or exercise you enjoy the most, and what’s helped you get better at it: basketball, I still suck, but the sound and movements, the rhythm, feels amazing

a skill you’ve picked up in the past few years: I am a guy of no skill sorry

a youtube video you find useful, entertaining or relaxing:

https://youtu.be/AaV8NeT0fnY

And this isn't even mu favorite episode

if you were going to dye your hair any colour of the rainbow, what would you choose?: so weeb of me but I been wanting to do a white or silver with black mix. Was actually getting the balls to do it for vacation but that's canceled

the book you just finished and what you thought (no spoilers!): Good Omens was really good, not my favorite from Gaiman but how do i even compare books from my favorite author. It was enjoyable the whole way, i had fun and laughs.

describe the most wacky, weird and wonderful at-home outfit you’ve put together: don't think I have one, I prefer less clothes at home lol

a game you’re playing that takes your mind off things: besides the obvious of animal crossing haha astral chain

the film you watched most recently that you could watch again and again: tough one, I don't watch too many of the good ones over and over like I enjoyed parasite and knives out but not sure I'd watch often. I'd probably get sick of sonic or alita or detective pikachu after too many. AH rush hour was on tv, damn I can watch those all the time and still laugh

your favourite flavour and brand of tea: not sure, kinda just drink whatever tea is lying around the house. Not a big tea drinker but I like it and prefer it over coffee

a good-will story you’ve heard on the news that’s made you feel hopeful: my friend invited me to a fb group called go outside and howl at 8pm and it's just super wholesome seeing strangers send supporting messages or how people can post recovery type stories and find solace. Makes my day seeing it

a favourite easy recipe: 5 ingredients or less, or takes less than 30 min to make: does spaghetti take long? Cuz mom's spaghetti of marinara sauce, ground beef, pasta, brown sugar, sausages and pasta (yes that's 6 but whatever) love it

a song that makes you want to have a boogie round your bedroom:

https://youtu.be/Lbc2BkJrvWQ

My favorite singer took one of my favorite songs from him and changed it up and I still love it

[hardnoctlife]

About Me

Me: Oh, sweet, I have time to write on my WIP!

My brain: Let’s answer these author-asks instead that NOBODY asked for:

Fandom Questions

1.       What was the first fandom you got involved in?

FIRST, first? InuYasha! First one I wrote actual fanfiction for? I think that was Yu Yu Hakusho.

2.       What is your latest fandom?

Final Fantasy XV (if you couldn’t already tell.)

3.       What is the best fandom you’ve been involved in?

Final Fantasy XV. I haven’t met a person I don’t like! Generally everyone is super nice and supportive.

4.       Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

Supernatural, maybe?? Only because they killed it with too many seasons…and there are some pretty weird fans.

5.       Which fandoms have you written fanfiction for?

Final Fantasy XV, Final Fantasy VII, Legend of Zelda, Yu Yu Hakusho, Rurouni Kenshin, InuYasha…maybe some others when I was younger?

6.       What are your OTPs from your current fandom?

Promptis and Gladnis

7.       List your NoTPs from your current fandom

ArdNoct is my least favorite, but everyone is SO shippable…

8.       How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

One of my good friends, Claudia, was obsessed with the game so when I finally got a PS4 I started playing and got hooked! I’ve played final fantasy games since I was young so I was already a fan of the others.

9.       What are the best things about your current fandom?

I know there are dark sides to every fandom, but seriously, FFXV is the most kind and receptive fandom I’ve ever been a part of. I have a discord group chat with several people and we talk all day, everyday about anything and everything and I’ve made some really good friends from it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

10.   Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

I’m actually not a huge reader of fanfiction (I know, it’s awful), but that’s because I’m too busy writing my own! I do read FFXV fanfiction that gets recommended to me though.

Author Questions

11.   What’s the first fanfic you ever wrote?

It was waaaaay back in high school. I can’t remember much, but I know it was a YYH high school AU.

12.   Is there anything you regret writing?

Eh. Not really. I had fun with everything I’ve done so that’s what’s important, even if my skill was cringy back in the day.

13.   Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of and explain why you like it. 

Insomnia High School! (Really, my whole FFXV high school series). It’s the first set of long-fics I’ve written in probably over a decade, and I wrote them while recovering from knee surgery, which kept me sane because I’m a super active person and not being able to do anything had me depressed. IHS I’m particularly fond of because it’s a little edgier and I got to feature Zidane from FFIX who is probably one of my favorite video game characters of all time! Also, it’s my longest fic I’ve written, but it was maybe the easiest for me to get through. It really just flowed for me, and even though it’s not my most popular, I put a lot of heart into it. 

14.   What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

Probably Dawn of the Godslinger, simply because it was the first fic I wrote after a ten-year hiatus from writing!

15.   What’s your most popular fanfic?

Rain or Shine and Everything In-Between. It’s probably my second favorite thing that I have written, and it was definitely the most fun to write out of all my current works.

16.   How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Uh… they just come to me? Some are pretty straightforward (like Insomnian Academy for the Elite), and then for others I try to pick the main theme and come up with something witty, like Rain or Shine and Everything In-Between, which is meant to reference all the different domestic life scenarios and the ‘slice of life’ vibe. 

17.   What do you hate more: coming up with titles or writing summaries?

SUMMARIES. God, they suck. I’m really not sure why they are so hard, but I struggle with them at times.

18.   If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story/stories, which story would it be and what would it be a picture of?

I have been blessed with talented artist friends who have done fanart for several of my works! If I’m being selfish though, I really want some from Rain or Shine or The Long and Short of It All with all the bros being cute and silly.

19.   Do you have a beta reader? Why/why not?

My wife is an editor with an MFA so she is my beta reader/editor (I’m very lucky). Overall, I think it’s important to have someone check your work and give you objective feedback. No one is perfect and there is always room for improvement.

20.   What inspires you to write?

There are endless possibilities in my fandom…it’s pretty easy to stay inspired. But really, I just enjoy it.

21.   What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

I have received a lot of super nice comments… I think I enjoy when people are inspired to write or draw their own stuff because of something I wrote! Also, when people told me they cried or FELT some sort of strong emotion, that’s the greatest compliment.

22.   Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you?

Omg YES. Music inspires me more than anything else. I have playlists for just about every fanfic I write! I’ll often listen to a playlist on repeat while I’m writing or throughout the day when I’m brainstorming ideas.

23.   Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics, or HUUUUUGE epics?

A little bit of everything! Depends on how I’m feeling and how much an idea takes off.

24.   What’s the word count on your longest fic?

I think it’s around 88,000

25.   Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I walk the line between drabbles/one shots, but usually they’re just a single scene I wanted to get out but was too lazy to put into a larger story.

26.   What’s your favorite genre to write?

Probably angst, with fluff/romance being a close second.

27.   First person or third person- what do you write and why?

Both! It just depends on how I want the fic to be interpreted/felt by the reader.

28.   Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

I try to use canon characters as much as possible, but I don’t have an issues creating OCs if the need arises.

29.   What is your greatest strength as a writer?

People have told me they like my dialogue and also the little subtle details/body language I include.

30.   What do you struggle with most in your writing?

Probably pacing, especially towards the end of a fic when I get excited about finishing it. Also, I don’t usually write outlines so sometimes I can dig myself into a hole plot-wise and my wife (editor) has to help get me out. (thanks babe!)

31.   What is your all time favorite fanfic?

Probably “Such Is Us” by surveycorpsjean. It’s what inspired me to write my own OT4 fic for FFXV.

32.   If someone wants to read one of your fanfics, which would you recommend to them and why?

Honestly, all of my stuff is so different it would really depend on the person! But my favorites that I’ve written (in order) are: You’re My Cup of Coffee, Rain or Shine and Everything In-Between, and The Insomnian Academy for the Elite.

33.   Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why or why not?

Of course!! As a writer, I love when people comment on my stuff so I feel it’s important to do the same for others.

34.   Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

If they do, it’s AWESOME and I really appreciate. If they don’t, that’s their choice! I believe in writing for myself, so I’m not going to base my worth as a writer on kudos/like/reblogs, etc. It does give me the warm fuzzies when people leave sweet comments though <3

35.   Rant or gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction.

Okay, so, smut. I like it! IF I’m in the mood for it. If I read a smutty fic and I knew what I was getting into, it’s great. However, I tend to not like s*x just for the sake of s*x in my fics. I try to focus on emotion and WHY two characters might be getting physical rather than just throwing something in there because I think it will get my fic attention. When people put in a s*x scene that doesn’t further the plot it’s a major turn off for me. 

[joeys-piano]

7, 12, 22 for the writer’s ask

My brain short-circuited a little while ago and I’m struggling to English right now, so I apologize in advance if my responses aren’t very long or in-depth.

TL;DR (nearly 1,300 words) - Joey talks about personal experiences, things he’s learned from writing, what he thinks about while writing, and you get a better sense of why he does what he does. And why he thinks the way he does

Questions to ask to a writer

7. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to writeI’m going to be honest. No character is an absolute joy to write for unless you feel extremely motivated and passionate in the heat of the moment and are writing about them. I think way too hard about characterization and how to comfortably write them that no character is an absolute joy to write for. They’re all hard work and constantly shifting between canon wiki and reading fan interpretations to find a middle ground that I can walk on.

If anything, I love writing for pet characters or animal characters because they have no influence or little influence in the plot, so I can write them as however I want them to be. You have no idea how often I just want to write a random chicken into a scene because that chicken character is going to keep me entertained as I wrestle with voices, narratives, povs, and galore.

12. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?I think like any content creator, you just kind of seek out feedback because it gives you something to thrive on when you’re first starting out and because you’re desperate to know what you’re doing and what you’re doing wrong. For a long time, I had an unhealthy relationship with feedback. Moreso with constructive criticism because I was incredibly stubborn and emotionally-unstable. Pouring your heart and soul into a story and then knowing that someone didn’t like it had a detrimental effect on my perception of self, eventually spiraling out of control and leading to an identity crisis that made this Joey do some very stupid things when he was a younger peep.

It’s been three years since that identity crisis. I’m a lot more comfortable with myself, I’m more well-aware that my worth as a person is not tied if you like what I create or not, I have more self-assurance for myself and more self-love, and I’ve more or less accepted that I’m doing what I’m doing because I want to. When I was a younger man, I did whatever I could so that people would notice me. But now, I’ve realized something more important than trying to thrive off of internet fame or whatever Tumblr had instilled in me when I first came here back in…2014?

Looking back on it, the constructive criticism on my writing helped me quite a bit. Even though the delivery was harsh and could’ve been worded better, it made me a tougher writer and more adamant about doing research and outlining before I pursue long projects. And partially, perhaps out of spite or just in memory, I want to show those people how far I’ve come since that feedback and how much I’ve grown since then.

 22. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.Not sure if a lot of y’all know this or not, but I’m a worldbuilder. I like the process of worldbuilding more than actually writing a story but unfortunately, you can’t post your worldbuilding notes onto AO3 and have people interested with that so I had to make a compromise somewhere. That’s why I gravitate towards the ideas and genres that I do. They get me thinking and thinking is 95% of the battle when you’re worldbuilding. Especially when you’re building a world from scratch, or making a small portion of a neighborhood come to life in a unique and versatile way.

One worldbuilding session that stands out to me the most and it happened quite recently, about two or three weeks ago, was when I was brainstorming an [alternative universe - different first meeting] scenario between Kunikida and Fukuzawa. The concept of the idea was what Fukuzawa had called a 15 y.o. Kunikida into his office after noticing that the youth was gifted with a special ability. During their meeting, Fukuzawa and Kunikida had a very interesting conversation about “abilities that are easy to hide.”

For instance, Fukuzawa’s ability [All Men Are Equal] doesn’t have a visible manifestation or presence. Unless you truly knew him, you would think that Fukuzawa was a normal individual. Likewise, Kunikida’s ability [Doppo Poet] is similar in that regard. Unless you truly knew Kunikida or unless he willingly outs himself by activating his ability, you would also think that he was a normal individual as well. That’s what it means to have an ability that’s easy to hide. You had the opportunity to live life without the likely repercussions and prejudice that other ability-users experienced just because your ability is more easily obscured to a certain or full extent.

What struck me about that conversation were the social implications of it and allowed me to worldbuild around this concept of how outside society views ability-users. From 15 y.o. Kunikida’s point of view, he’s scared of how society and the people who are closest to him would react if they found out he was an ability-user. What frightens him are the negative connotations, opinions, and the treatment that would be received if he were slapped with the “ability-user” label. And that’s what it feels like. It feels like a large neon sign is forever the first thing someone is going to look at and know about you, and people will judge you before knowing who you really are. Living under the assumption of a normal person, Kunikida knows that he could at least avoid that. However, he’s having to hide and be ashamed of a part of himself that has and will always be a part of him. Being an ability-user is something he can never change, but young Kunikida is afraid to embrace and accept that part of himself because the world around him won’t.

During that entire interaction, it got me thinking about the real world and even Tumblr to an interesting extent. About labels, about the self vs. society, about prejudice and first-based assumptions, about hiding yourself vs. letting it all out, and several other things. I feel that a good worldbuilding session should contribute to whatever story you’re trying to tell while also connecting back to the world we live in and bring to light things that people aren’t really comfortable talking about. If you can keep that statement in mind, you could potentially help a lot of people understand, relate, or figure out something that they had trouble with before.

I’d say that the pleasantly surprising part about this worldbuilding session was that I felt like I understood the BSD universe a little more. We rarely, if ever, get any information about the outside world views ability-users and what they do, so drawing inspiration and experience from real life into this concept made things clearer to see. And somehow, it made the idea feel more grounded because there is that real world aspect and fear that people can relate to or have experienced.

And I think what made the concept work really well was that Kunikida was young in this interaction. He was a teenager and when you’re a teenager, one of the things that’s on your mind is figuring out who you are and what you want people to know you as. There’s this craving for acceptance, even a rebellion against tradition or what people expect you to be or act, while also there’s this uncertainty if you’re actually doing the right thing. I don’t write for teenagers very often, but having a teenage!Kunikida to work with during this scene was a phenomenal experience. I felt like I knew him a lot better and he feels more approachable for me to write for.

[flynnbct-blog]

Introduction to CT: #ctec502 Assessment #2: Reflective journaling

Our first Studio assignment, ‘Cards for Play’ is a Creative Technologies experience that has been a paramount part of the development of my creative thinking process so far. The assignment was to create a deck of cards that facilitated play, where we started learning how to think creatively, use different processes to form ideas, and begin to experiment with new concepts to produce a final result. It was especially significant to me because of the way it challenged the thinking processes I had developed in my life so far, and pushed me to extend the way I produce unique ideas and concepts. It was the beginning of my creative journey through this degree. 

While this experience confronted my own individual thought processes it also provoked the formation of new ways to interact and work with a group of people I didn’t know too well. We had to create groups from a collection of people we hadn’t really met before, knowing we would be working with them for the remainder of this assignment. This aspect of this CT experience is another reason why it was meaningful to me, because I got to work with 6 new, unique people, and as a result make 6 new friends. Forming and working with our group and thinking creatively are the two key parts that make this experience significant and memorable.

This experience began, I believe, when Aslan and Tre came and sat next to me when I was sitting by myself on one of the first days of our course. Their decision to do so definitely impacted the remainder of the next couple of weeks, because the 3 of us instantly became friends and decided we would form a group together. Following that, I noticed another small group of 4 near us and I knew we would need to join with other people if we were going to be successful in this assignment. While I was comfortable working with just Tre and Aslan, having a more people to contribute and develop ideas with was crucial. I made the decision for us three to wheel our chairs round to them and sit down. I had to convince these new people that they needed three extras as they were already satisfied with 4. I think their initial, cautious reaction about us joining stemmed from being forced to let knew people into a group they had already been comfortable with. However, I am happy that we persisted and joined groups. Ella came up with the name ‘Card Ass’ for our group and that followed on to become the name of our project. 

From my perspective I noticed that all of us were very likeminded in the sense that we were all very indecisive about what we wanted to create, however we were all able to produce a lot of original ideas when brainstorming, each in our own unique way. In a brainstorming activity led by Charles, called ‘Shut the Fu*k up’ where we had to write down as many ideas as we could, silently, in 5 minutes, I noticed that I struggled to think of ideas from nothing. However, when the activity had finished and we were going through each others ideas that we had written down, I was able to develop and give good feedback on other peoples ideas, which also enabled the others to then develop their ideas through my feedback. Thats when I started to learn about how I enjoy looking at how I can improve something that already exists, rather than create something from scratch all together. Something interesting that I noticed is that forming ideas individually, and then sharing and developing them as a group a group produced more ideas than as a group, and I wonder that relates to the feeling I get in group situations where I just want to do everything myself in my own way. 

The process of finding an idea, then developing it straight away into a prototype and creating as many prototypes as you can was very new to me and that’s what challenged my initial thought processes I had before this experience, the most. I think this is because I am more conservative with bringing any ideas I have to life, until I am completely satisfied with them. I learnt I don’t like to ‘waste’ time on producing a prototype if it’s not going to be worth my time. That applies to a lot of aspects of my life, looking back at previous situations; if I think something is truly important, I will give it my complete all and do everything I can do complete it to the absolute best I can, but if not, I will do things as efficiently as possible and focus all my energy into something else, I would be frustrated if i was made to invest in something that I didn’t think was worth it. This experience made me learn to materialise ideas straight away, no matter how good I think they are, or if I think it would be worth the time, because you can always learn something from it which will in turn better your final product or idea one way or another. 

Now when I approach a situation where I need to come up with ideas, rather than just thinking about them and developing them in my head, making prototypes and materialising ideas can actually lead to new ones, as well as develop a concept further; Prototyping supports idea generation, conceptualisation, design exploration, evaluation, communication, and construction. (Anders Berglund & Larry Leifer (2013)) Each prototype does not need to be perfect, it is just important to use them to find out if your idea could achieve what you want it to. Because it can be an overwhelming undertaking to create a single prototype that strives to achieve all of these goals, it is important to be focused on objectives.’ [Anders Berglund & Larry Leifer (2013)]

Something contradictory to what I discovered in this experience that I found was that research on group brainstorming has demonstrated that it is less effective for generating large numbers of ideas than individual brainstorming [Dugosh, Karen Leggett,Paulus, Paul B.,Roland, Evelyn J.,Yang, Huei-Chuan (2000)]. I initially thought that we used groups to tap into more brain power to come up with things, but now I believe that we use groups to develop ideas further, which makes sense to me now because I always found it easier and more effective developing and critiquing ideas than being under the pressure of coming up with something from scratch. 

I didn’t love the Cards for Play assignment at all. Creating a deck of cards isn’t at all something I am interested in, nor is it why I chose to study this degree. At first I was put off by this assignment, but as we got into it and I saw how our project was developing over time into our final product, I understood that the content of the assignment wasn’t the focus, it was the creative processes we employed, developed and learnt that will help us later on in both this degree and life in general. These creative processes are ever-growing and extremely vital to being a creative technologist. Moving forward I am actively trying my best to engage in different ways to produce ideas, and persistently telling myself the importance of prototyping and bringing any ideas to life, no mater what I think of them at the time. 

I have definitely learnt the importance of working in groups and how advantageous it is to have people around to critique your ideas, and for you to critique theirs. Through just writing this reflection about what I have learnt I have grown more confident in thinking creatively, and am excited to tackle the rest of this degree. 

 Anders Berglund & Larry Leifer (2013) Why we Prototype! An International Comparison of the Linkage between Embedded Knowledge and Objective Learning, Engineering Education, 8:1, 2-15, DOI: 10.11120/ened.2013.00004 

Dugosh, Karen Leggett,Paulus, Paul B.,Roland, Evelyn J.,Yang, Huei-ChuanJournal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol 79(5), Nov 2000, 722-735

[sandwichpress]

Reflective Journaling - The Kolb Cycle

Describing the Experience: What happened?

A recent creative experience that was meaningful to me was the first week of our second BCT project; Data Objects. I remember thinking that this would be an easy project, especially after our first project Cards for Play. However, I would soon realize that this was not the case and began to struggle a lot during that first week.

Our brief was to create an experience by mapping a data set to an object. We worked individually during the first week, with groups being assigned later. During this first week we were expected to create low fidelity prototypes of our data objects, so I began by brainstorming and writing down any ideas I had on a list.

In the first few days I bounced around between data-sets, from aircraft crash statistics to obesity throughout the world. The data-set I ended up with however was “infant mortality rates in NZ from the last century”. A similar thing happened with the object, I thought up of different ways to modify different objects. For example I thought of using the weight of baby dolls to represent the data, with more deaths equaling to the baby’s weight getting reduced. The prototypes I worked on the most however, were the paper planes. I attempted to modify various aspects of the planes in the hope that the changes would affect how they flew. The final versions of which were simply paper planes with different lengths of string attached to them. Eventually I stopped working on these prototypes and switched to a baby crib instead, but it was too late and soon enough the week was over.

Analysis and Observation: Taking a Look Back

I remember that by the end of the week I felt extremely frustrated with myself. I felt that I had wasted a lot of time on the paper plane prototypes. They didn’t end up being useful, and the time I had spent could have been made creating different, maybe better prototypes.

There were a couple of reasons I stuck with the paper plane idea for so long. They were relatively easy to make and add changes to, materials wise they are pretty cheap to make and finally I thought I could transfer my findings from a low – fidelity prototype to something a bit more advanced (i.e. a flying model plane). While creating the prototypes I expected the changes I made to the paper planes (different wing lengths, overall size, etc) to affect how the flew. It would have been a very obvious visual clue to how the data affected how the object functioned. This was not the case however, during my tests I found it very difficult to see any appreciable difference between how each individual aircraft flew. It was too random.

This randomness and further testing led me to abandon this set of prototypes. When I showed the planes to people, they immediately thought that the data was supposed to be aircraft crashes. I had been so focused on mapping the data to an object that I had inadvertently assumed that they existed in a vacuum. This surprised me at first, but when my testers told me why they thought so (paper planes = something to do with aircraft crashes), it made sense. So I decided to switch my prototyping paper planes to modifying aspects of a baby crib. Alas, this was too little too late and in the following days we were creating groups.

Research and Investigation: What Can I Learn?

One mistake I recognize upon going through what happened was that I immediately got to working and started brainstorming. I did not think critically about our brief or analyze the problem at hand. As stated by Paul &Elder (2009) [2] “the quality … of what we produce, make or build depends precisely on the quality of our thought.” The quality of my thinking was not of a sufficient enough standard, I was too focused on how to map the data to the object I could not see the why of why I was mapping the data to said object. This can be further expanded upon by the first step of the Template for Problem-Solving by Paul & Elder (2009), to be an effective problem solver one first has to figure out and regularly re-articulate their goals, purposes and needs. Since I did not analyze our brief, I was not able to properly recognize the goal of this project and lead myself towards the wrong path.

Related to my first mistake is a second. Since I did not analyze my brief, I was not able to clearly define what my goal was. Thus I did not to take into consideration what the user would experience when they interacted with my object. I made the assumption that the user would do what I wanted them to do, something that is not usually the case. J.J. Garret (2010) [1] explains how the user experience can often be overlooked in design, and how this can make or break product. He also explains how a product can be functional, yet have a terrible user experience, thus driving away the user. In this instance I made the grave error of ignoring the end user, so while my objects (the paper planes) technically functioned, (they show the data through the length of the string) they confused my end users (they thought it had something to do with aircraft).

These two mistakes remind me of the Marshmallow Challenge, an activity the whole class participated in. We split into groups and attempted to create a tower of spaghetti with a marshmallow on top. During that activity most of the groups left the marshmallow till the last minute, often causing the tower to fall.  “What the marshmallow challenge does is it helps them [the participants] identify the hidden assumptions.” Tom Wujec (2010). In this case the marshmallow of my project was the user experience. My initial assumptions of the project being easy and that the user would be fine with whatever object I presented would lead my tower (or project) crumbling into pieces.

Reflection: What Can I Do Better?

So comes the hardest part of any reflection. Asking how one could improve upon oneself. Combing through this experience again, there are a number of things that I could definitely improve upon.

In the future, before I start anything, project or other wise. I should ask myself questions. Questions like:

What is my goal?

Who is this for?

Why is it needed? / What is it’s purpose?

How will I know that goal has been achieved?

What assumptions have I made before starting?

Are these assumptions true or false?

Of course, asking questions only at the start of something is not enough. I have to keep on ‘playing with the marshmallow’, I have to know if I am heading towards the right direction. So using the first week of Data Objects as an example. Instead of creating and iterating on a whole bunch of plane prototypes, I should have made one set and tested them on an end user. See how they reacted, etc. That way I would have known from the start that people would have thought my data was completely different and it would have saved me a lot of time and trouble. So when making improvements upon something, I should perform tests before iterating upon it any further.

I have also learned that in order for a product to be successful, it must not only be functional, but also friendly to the end user. It must confuse and inconvenience them as little as possible. As such, it is important to think of designing something through the eyes of the end user. This is because everybody is different from one another, and it is very likely that your end user will see the product in a different light to you. In future projects I should keep in mind what I want users to experience and try to imagine how they would experience it through testing and asking questions.

I am sure that everything I have learned from this experience would be helpful in times to come.

References:

[1] Garrett, J. J. (2010). Elements of user experience, the: user-centered design for the web and beyond. Pearson Education.

[2] Paul, R., & Elder, L. (2009). The miniature guide to critical thinking-concepts and tools (Thinker’s guide). Dillon Beach, CA: Foundation for critical thinking.

[3] Wujec, T. (2010). The marshmallow challenge. Retrieved April, 28, 2019.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Hey! Do you have any advice for writers block? I have ideas and want to write but when I sit down to do it, nothing remotely good comes out 😩

Hi! My best and most important advice for writers block is to try all the advice, because you never know what will work for you–or what other people will swear by that does not help you at all!

But since you asked, let’s start here. What do you mean when you say you have writer’s block? In my opinion, there are two kinds. 

‘I am having no luck at writing, every time I try it’s horrible’… versus …’I am staring at a blank screen and no words are coming out.’ You can have both at once, but they’re really different problems.

It sounds like you’re currently dealing with the first one: you have ideas and motivation, but the process is hell and you feel totally unsuccessful because what you’re creating is awful.

If I’m understanding your question correctly, and when you write, it straight-up sucks? I have great news for you, my friend. You are writing. You are a writer. Congratulations and welcome to the world of truly terrible first drafts, full of so many uninspired words and awful sentences that you’re certain you should never write at all.

It’s sad, and I’m sorry. I still want to be able to pull perfect stories out of my head on the first try. But if you want to write often enough to get better at it, like any skill requires, that’s most of what writing is. You get the ideas out of your head, and you try as hard as you can to ignore the fact that they come out wrecked and ugly and not even close to what you mean to say half the time. You just get them down so that you have words at all.

Gag that voice in your head that’s used to scanning for problems and trying to fix them; lock it in a box and throw it in the ocean where you won’t hear it screaming at you that you’re the worst writer to ever form paragraphs and pages and don’t let it out til you’re ready to revise. Then, and only then, do you allow yourself to judge the words you’re putting down–not while you’re writing, but after you’ve said what you need to say.

That will be the time for editing, which is a completely distinct, terrible struggle of its own. If you want my thoughts on that too, let me know someday.

When you’re feeling blocked because the words aren’t coming out right, I promise you–I absolutely positively promise you–that that’s normal. That’s how it goes. If you’re lucky, sometimes you’ll hit a golden stretch where things flow easily and you feel like you know what you’re doing and you genuinely enjoy it.

But mostly it’s a slog. One you’ll get better at. You just have to keep trying.

Now, it’s different if your problem involves the second kind of writer’s block: the blank screen that mocks you for having the hubris to think you could ever have something to offer the world.

I experience that one a lot. I worry about my ideas not being good enough, when I haven’t even written them. I sometimes can’t figure out what my ideas are or where to start. And I’ve tried a ton of ways to fight it.

Here are some things that work for me:

Write around it. Use the same characters, but a different plot. Use the same world, but focus on different characters. Try to write the story from the perspective of a character that wasn’t supposed to be there, or pick something else that doesn’t sound intimidating, that doesn’t make you feel blocked, and try that. Give yourself permission to chase a plot bunny for a while, just to get you started. Once you’re writing at all, it can be easier to go back to your idea.

Create constraints. I request a lot of prompts here, and not always because I need to start new stories. (I should never be allowed to start more stories. I should be forced to put stories back.) For some reason, when I feel totally blocked and haven’t written in days or weeks and don’t know how to get past it, what can really help me is being given a world + an idea and seeing what my brain can do with the combination on a very small scale. It’s like a misdirect for my creative mind, asking it to look over there at the shiny thing and warm up.

Try different mediums. Is there music that reminds you of your topic? Listen to it. Do you make gifs? Do that for your ship or your AU concept. If you can dive into pinterest for a while, set a timer and try that. The goal is to get inspired, whatever it takes. Make moodboards. Fancast your OCs. Remind yourself why you like what you’re trying to create. Sneak around your inner writer and head straight for the artist that doesn’t need words to love the story.

Stop writing. It sounds ridiculous, but sometimes the best cure for writer’s block is giving up. Stop staring at your messy unfinished draft or your blank page. If nothing else is working, and you really don’t know where to take the story next or how to fix a problem you’re having…step back, breathe, and do something else.

I find this trick works best for plot issues. If a solution isn’t happening while you write, let your brain work it out for you. Make a sandwich. Fold your laundry. Pet your animals. Go for a walk.

Just about anything can unknot this kind of block. What’s important is that you make sure you’re doing something that engages you but not your brain.You need your mind to be able to wander, so that while you relax your grip a solution can present itself. I play a lot of Candy Crush when I need help. I have a lot of epiphanies in the shower.

Also, though I write to music because it subverts my focusing issues, I’ve found that other people’s words are terrible for writer’s block. I can’t brainstorm while watching TV or a movie. I can’t work out my plot if I’m reading my favorite novel. Anything that actively distracts you is not your friend until you’ve done the writing and are ready for a real break.

Things you could try that don’t help me but other people swear by:

Freewriting. This is when you force yourself to just start saying anything that comes to mind to get words flowing, even if those words are ‘wow I hate this why am I typing right now I need to wash my socks I will never write again’ etc. The idea is that eventually your brain will flow into real writing because you’ve forced it to start going.

Meditating or mentally writing in your head at bedtime. The space before you drift off can be full of creative possibilities, and meditation can be a variation on ‘engage your brain without actively using it’–but if you have a terrible memory like me, you will lose any great ideas you come up with before sleep takes you or while you’re letting thoughts flow as you breathe.

Build a habit. A lot of writers swear that routine is the most important aspect of writing, that the only way to push through writer’s block is to recognize that there’s no such thing and just force yourself to write every day, at the same time or for a specific amount. Forcing myself into a routine always fails but if you thrive on structure it’s worth a shot. I’ve learned to let my writing time ebb and flow with my mental health instead and work around the problems.

I hope some of this is helpful to you!! :) It helped me a lot, if only by reminding me how much I’ve learned and grown since I fought my way through my first novel draft back in 2011 and thought I would never write again.

Also, honestly, it was great procrastination from the plot work I was doing when you asked. So thanks for the distraction! Sometimes a break is the best thing.