#because a lot of the stuff i can do ! itll just take me a while

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

[boxwinebaddie]

an uncle nina check in <3

hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333

i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<

i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!

and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.

however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...

makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333

so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,

uncle nina xx

[radiolore]

MY VENTURE HEADCANONS!!! :3

copy pasted from my tiktok plus some :3

AAAAA I LOVE THEM SO MUCJ U DONT UDNERTSND

~☆~

• wants to take care of plants but cant due to their job

• forgets to drink water a lot

• one time passed out due to dehydration, the wayfinder society found them in a cave and they had to be in the emergency room for a day

• since then, they got an app on their phone that buzzes when they should drink water and itll water a virtual plant :3

• unironically loves classical music

• likes to scour the internet in their spare time to listen to different music genres from different eras

• wishes they could learn intruments, especially ancient ones that people dont typically play anymore but cant cause of the time their job takes, but they still admire people who do play those intruments still!!

• their parents are missing and are pressumed dead and they hope that by being an archeologist they can find them one day

• used to cry as a kid when people would squish ants :(

• they think they dont have time for a partner, so theyre not really looking for one, but wouldnt be opposed to having one if they met the right person

• if they did meet someone they were interested in, would be super estatic and friendly, talking to them a lot, looking for them when they enter a room, etc

• would prefer an in-person relationship, they would be willing to try long distance but with how much they travel for their job, they will end up not being happy because they feel like they have to choose between their partner and passion :((

• they would end up romantacising the person theyre interested in and get disappointed when they dont live up to their fantasies

• really good at coming up with art n crafts ideas, bad at executing them

• autism

• used to be super interested in internet history as a kid, like random events that went down on the internet n stuff, but not so much anymore since theyre an archeologist now

• fav ice cream is rocky road (who would've guessed)

• messy eater

• love language is gift giving and quality time

• speaking of gift giving, if they liked someone they would def research crystal meanings and give them specific crystals based on their meaning

• need some extra luck? they're giving u aventurine, got into trouble recently and need protection? boom amethyst, they like you but they're too scared to say so? they're giving you rose quartz daily and hope you get the hint

• LOVES those shark tooth necklaces and wears one under their sweater (mostly just cuz they don't want it to get caught on something while working and have it fall off)

• any vacations they get from work, they always make sure to visit their grandma and tell her all about their adventures and findings !!

• thinks people with crooked teeth are the absolute cutest (totally not a self insert for me cuz I got crooked teeth ahahahaa nope)

• when they paint their nails they always just do it messily and just let the excess nail polish on their fingers to fall off ☠️☠️ (same)

• can def carry a conversation if ur shy or just don't talk a lot

• has a social media platform where they post cool things they find, after becoming associated with Overwatch, it gains traction

• after their profile gains attention, it actually becomes an in-universe meme/rumor that they chipped their tooth eating a rock

• Sloane thought it was funny, but they eventually come out and make a post saying they chipped their tooth after a rock came flying at their face while drilling 😞

• asexual cuz I said so

• u know that one dinosaur death pose fossil? they have something like that tattooed on their body

• also a compass tattoo probs

• is the BEST hugger

• when they're excited to see you, they'll hug u n pick u up n spin u around n everything

• is the type to see smth random and go "so-and-so would like this" and just get it without seconds thoughts

• used to draw in high school, but kinda stopped after joining the wayfinders

• is incredibly embarrassed by said drawings and would only show you if you either also showed something equally embarrassing or if yall are extremely close....

• had a lego phase

• Sloan and Junkrat send each other random cryptic texts that wouldn't make sense to anyone else looking at them, but it makes sense to them (it'd be stuff like random images or words or gibberish that'd make u go "what ☠️") (and it'd be at such random intervals like a random text from junkrat at 2am and Sloan doesn't send anything back until 3 days later at noon like???)

• I'm sorry but they're a bad texted lmfao they forget to check their phone all the time

• but they're def not a dry texter tho, they'd use faces like :D D: :p :) :3 >u< ): and type in all caps when they're excited with typos

~☆~

I COULD WRITE MORE BUT IF I CONTINYE ILL LITERSLLT BE HERE FOR HOURS SO I HAVE TO STOP

ANYWAYZ THAMK U FOR LISTENINGN TO ME RAMBLE ABOUT VENTURE BECUZ I LOVE THEM SO MUCJ IM SO OBSESSED WITH THEM N IM LIKE AAA AAAAANAAA AAA

anyways

yea

:3 eeeee

[miiilowo]

i feel like theres not a lot of great resources out there so i figured id just ask -- how would you recommend ways of living with/helping out someone else with npd? :)

youre right! most of the time when u look up NPD stuff its "THE ABUSER DISORDER: KNOW HOW TO RECOGNIZE IT AND DISABLE NARC DEFENSES SO THEY CANT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU" which isnt. Great

all it really comes down to is listening to them n addressing their needs if they've communicated them to you. ill try to simplify it so i dont get too into details, though i will likely fail, and most of this advice will be based off my experiences, so idk how much itll apply to whoever ur talking about BUT:

generally (and w me especially) you can safely say that NPD mostly has to do with ego dysregulation. Our [as in myself and people w npd] mental health and general happiness tends to rely on how people perceive us, and if that perception is anything but positive, we feel like poopy doo doo dogshit. we kinda need to be paid attention to in a way that feels meaningful, yknow? compliment them, make sure theyre included in conversations (esp group ones), and try not to ignore em in any way. if youre talking to them and youre busy, for example, make sure you include that detail so they don't feel like youre brushing them aside. stuff like that. if they make art, and you genuinely like it, try going into detail as to why, whether its the colors or linework or what have you. if they write, tell them what you liked about the story or poem, etcetera. Tag them in stuff that reminds you of them if you have their socials, or send them things, show it to them, whatever.

lots of us tend to actually be very insecure, even if it doesn't seem that way, which might be important to keep in mind. sometimes we can get whats referred to as "narc crashes" (im not particularly a fan of the term narc, though theres nothing actually wrong with it, so ill just call it an NPD crash) where for whatever reason, we go from feeling great and secure in our egos and our stability and happiness and security to falling 600 feet down directly into hell no recovery absolutely awful 0% joy 0% light 100% agony. dogs with human teeth screaming at you and shit its really just no good. calling you a dunderhead

they usually (though not always!) come after a high where we feel fantastic, and most commonly the cause of a crash is we get hurt by someone, humiliated, or made to feel lesser in some significant way. for me, they're the worst when i no longer feel confident that people like me, and i become incredibly worried everybody secretly hates me. which is a very very very awful train of thought to be experiencing when you have the "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO LIKE ME NOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" disorder. so if ur friend seems depressed or upset make sure to ask whats going on and bump up the praise and stuff up a notch. its the best way to recover for Me, at least. crashes dont have a consistent like. timeframe? i think it highly depends on the severity of what happened and whats being done to fix it, though im certainly no psychologist lmao

i feel like when folks w npd Are mean or unfair its because their needs arent being met, theyre doing awful, and they need support so they dont desperately lash out for it. god knows thats the case for me. thats another thing thats important to keep in mind i think

a lot of traits of NPD aren't pretty, and thats just a fact of the matter. its a disorder for a reason and all. even if we dont express the almost inherently negative traits all the time (usually because we are aware they are unfair to other people), its very likely that we are feeling them, and it does erode your brain after a while. The DSM-5 list of traits is probably the best way to go for this, as per this government website:

"A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and with lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood, as indicated by at least five of the following:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements, expects to be recognized as superior without actually completing the achievements)

Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love.

Believes that they are "special" and can only be understood by or should only associate with other special people (or institutions).[milo note: its hard for me to find something specific to make bold in this definition, but generally, i do not express that i think that i am better than other people even if i think it]

Requires excessive admiration.

Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations.

Is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends.

Lacks empathy and is unwilling to identify with the needs of others.

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.

Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes."

Ive bolded the ones that would negatively affect people that, I, at least, try not to express but still feel, or feel the desire to do, near constantly.

As you can see, thats a pretty hefty chunk of them! I'm sure some people could take problem with every trait listed here, in which case they can suck my whole dick, but those are the ones I've noticed upset people the most, or make relationships the most difficult. I bring these up because if someone does express these, you need to keep in mind it is because of a personality disorder. That doesn't always make them acceptable, and if they are really upsetting, you should talk to them about it, but thats just like. basic relationship shit lmao. just try to be an eensy bit forgiving

Though the MAIN reason I wanted to bring up the traits is due to the 'entitlement/unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment/compliance' one. This can manifest in a whole lot of ways, but it is genuinely infuriating when someone ignores what i want them to do/what ive asked them to do/etc, especially if its for a reason that doesnt 'feel' solid enough, like them just not wanting to do it. it can be incredibly frustrating if someone with npd says they need something from you or want you to do xyz and it doesnt happen, so try your best to listen to them. if you cant do what they desire for whatever reason, make sure thats clear, and why. Most of us will recognize we're being unfair, but will still be mad; Just know its not because of you, its because of the disorder, and most people will not hold it against you because they're aware its unreasonable in some fashion.

i think thats like. the main things when it comes to meeting the needs of someone w NPD. to summarize and dumb it down:

make sure to compliment them in meaningful ways, especially when you really mean it

pay attention to them; try to prioritize them in conversation and such. it feels very nice. dont ignore them for the love of god

keep the crashes in mind, and try to uplift your friend as much as you can. reassure them you care about them, maybe not directly by saying "i care about you" but with your actions in general

listen to them and adapt to their needs as best as you can

remember that if they are being unpleasant its probably because of The Disorder and they are not doing well. dont let anyone be a prick to you but try to be kind. everybody goes through shit

if anyone has anything to add, or if you have any followup questions, feel free to ask ^_^ i very much didn't cover everything here, and again, this is mostly based off of my experience as someone w NPD, and everyone is different to some degree. The most important thing to do is ask about their needs, and try to adapt to them the best you can.

i think thats all i have to say for now tho so. sayanora. if i come up w anything else ill add it in an edit

[splatattackz]

and, springing off of my last post, heres a greater post talking about ramon and his relation with lying and secret-keeping - because, in my opinion, its a topic that needs to be known to better understand his character as secrets are a big part of his family.

ill place the talk under the cut so this post doesnt take too much space :)

"just [to] let u know, i trust u even in the dark"

ramon trusts fit. a ton. and theres nothing that could ever change that. he trusts what is kept secret is best kept this way. its why he wasnt as persistent to know about the contract, even if he knew there was lies and secrets at play that he hated. he trusted him. and that trust only grew when fit trusted him enough back to tell him a little bit of the family secret (the contract).

but, despite this trust, ramon also loves fit all too much. its why he gets so defensive when fit tells lies to him. ramon is a very observant boy. he knows a lot of things he shouldnt because of this. as fit once said, "the kids too damn smart for his own good". no lie leaves his detection because he can always tell the way people shift and change when theyre fibbing. but he doesnt push or prod on the matter usually. unless its fit. because he loves him too much. he needs to know whats going on with him. if he doesnt know, how can he help and protect him? its a reason he hates it when fit mutes, too. he always feels like fits keeping a secret from him when it happens.

i remember one time they were working on ground zero (i think it was the last time they worked on ground zero) and fit was fretting over his contract and ramon made a joke about how he acted like he would die if he didnt fullfill the contract. and fit laughed and said "no, ramon, i wont die." and then muted and said smth like "itll be much worse than death". and ramon noticed fit muted and got very upset. he basically threw a tantrum over it and wouldnt talk to fit until he told him what he was keeping secret. ramon said he was upset because the topic at hand (fit dying) and the fact he muted didn't spell anything good.

"if u tell me i [either] [lose] everything or u, i would choose [to keep] u"

something ramon said to show how much he cared for fit and how that care is why he was so upset. eventually fit did tell him and even told him more about what it meant if he didnt fullfill the contract - that if he failed, he would be trapped in the wastelands forever with no escape. and that this contract was his only chance at a semi-normal life.

but otherwise, ramons relation to lies and secret-keeping isnt negative. he has told lies and has kept secrets himself. hes no stranger to it. and he even keeps fit in check about the contract when he wants to tell other people things. i remember when fit found tazercraft in the prison he wanted to tell phil but ramon stopped him and told him some things are best kept secret. and, while this was mainly a very hrp response bc the admin wanted to let the duo solve the puzzles, he made a good point of if he trusts phil enough with this maybe he should tell him about the contract too. to which fit said "no, hes not ready to know about it yet". and, again, when ramon first built the satellite for the second attempt at contact, fit wanted to tell phil where he would be in case anything happened. and, again, ramon stopped him and reminded him if he wanted to do that then he'd have to tell phil everything. and the convo ended there.

(its no coincidence that fit told phil about the secret bedroom with ramon not around :] the baby boy cant keep him in check with that stuff now..)

ill stop the post here before we are here for hours but. i needed to talk about one of ramons most interesting aspects ajaja i hope you enjoyed the little ramble

[box-architecture]

I discovered that Communication Knife AweSamDrunz have Children Now today, and I’m loving everything I’m reading so far.

Also that they hang out with Sapnap, Philza, and Techno. Was not expecting that, but yeah, Dream would want to reconnect, wouldn’t he? Even if it make Sam Uncomfortable and Punz Salty.

aaaaaaaaa I'm glad!!! The kids are sort of separate from the main au in that they're not really the main focus, they're just something that occasionally makes me happy to rotate in my mind. Healed, happy characters who are extremely neurodivergent, with their weird neurodivergent children, able to exist contently.

also, yeah!!! I realized a while back that I haven't really talked about the relationships and conflicts or Anything with real consistency on this tumblr. I'm used to interacting with people in the discord who've already had to listen to me so many times yell and rant that I've forgotten that I. might need to give context actually to other people who have showed up to a person on a soapbox spouting nonsense.

short answer: yeah, theres a Lot of complicated feelings, but by the time the children are in the picture its been like a decade and peace has been made with most things. No one has forgotten, of course. Shit was fucked. But events keep happening, characters keep developing, and Dream cradles his happy ending with the people he got to keep so very close to his chest.

So its like! Techno will support Dream through thick and thin and be civil with his partners, Punz and Sapnap had some rough moments but are buddies, and Sam will never talk to Dream's friends about anything deep, but after years of him genuinely trying to be a good partner, Techno and Sapnap are no longer five seconds away from trying to murder him.

Long answer: I'm trying to pull together some posts that will give detailed explanations of this entire thing. Itll take a bit, but its infinitely easier than the full fic I was trying and failing to write. I'm pulling this timeline from an old post so it might not be completely up-to-date even with my edits, but this is some skeleton stuff I can give that will make things easier for Understanding probably. I'm very sleepy. Here you go.

Timeline for My Own Damn Convenience:

Shady Dubcon Prison sex w/ SamDream

Prison Escape

Gentle Recovery sex w/ Drunz

Dream decides he has major control issues and is going to fuck Sam to prove he isn't traumatized. Punz thinks this is a terrible decision.

AweSamDrunz sex, complete with a rulebook of things Sam isn't allowed to do (including giving or receiving kisses)

Quackity kidnaps Drunz similar to in the one cut lore thing, offers to let Punz go if they torture Dream (they stab Quackity instead)

Sam rescues them (without Q finding out) and then kidnaps them, where he ties up Punz and gets Dream kisses until they all eventually pass out (Dream gets mild medical attention)

Dream wakes up and unties Punz

SamDrunz has a talk and decides Sam is allowed kisses again

many kinks are discovered

Sam tries (and fails) to get a hobby

Sam builds +30 prisons/boxes/sex dungeons around the server, of various usefulness

Sapnap finds out about the Torture, sees the sex tape, assumes Dream can't consent to the relationship considering Sam was his warden and Sap thinks Punz betrayed him, and takes Dream to a cottage away from everyone to try to protect him. After Sapnap yells at SamPunz, Dream gently informed Sapnap he's going to continue the relationship, and they have an emotional reconciliation that leads to weeklyish meetings between Dreamnap where they can just sit and talk

The Snow Incident

Sam Recovery From The Snow Incident

Oh God The Egg Is Back (Sam locks up Punz and Dream in a bunker for a month out of terror, and doesnt tell them why because he knows it will stress Punz out and Dream could be an idiot and get himself Egged. Punz is pissed but can't argue with that) (Dream could have fixed this all with his admin abilities good god)

They actually deal with the Egg

An Incident Happens (but its like several incidents actually, including Tubbo finding out that Ranboo was working with Dream the whole time)

Failed Finale

Recovery

Eventually grow old and live in a nice little lush cave house called The Box that Sam made

[hyp-fixator]

art ask game: do you have a favorite color palette, have you done a lot of collabs, and whats your creative process?

Oooh fun fun

Some of my favourite colour palletes are ones that have warm tones or high contrast!! I love the palletes that are kind of like a neon sign too, ykwim? Black background with slowly growing colours to a fully saturated end product- THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO EDIBLE... I can never accurately pull it off though

I've done a few of collabs! Not a lot, but the main one I remember doing was a few years ago, a small group of people including me in a discord server decided to design a demon! I think I got the colouring stage? It was fun! Otherwise it was kinda like those "draw the gang" type collabs, nothing too serious/fully rendered

hmmmm my creative process...? I guess I can chat a little about how I figure out the designs for the P! Gang! (This'll be a long part so I'll put it under the cut!)

The first thing I do, almost always, is figure out the vibe of the character

I then correlate the vibe to an animal that gives the same vibe (Aka skate and a golden retriever)

If theres a theme or aesthetic the character goes along with I'll usually grab references from the web and perhaps doodle some ideas down (like I'll do with vinestaff and japanese kimonos)

If there's technology involved, expect me to have come across some cool tech that happened in real life before, and to see me add that into the design (like rocket's prosthetics/hyperlaser's helmet)

if I'm having a really tough time figuring out how to make a character look decent, I'll usually take a few minutes before I go to bed to sketch out some ideas- I did this for Boombox's jelly limbs and Slingshot

Afterwards I usually start drawing! Finding out a pose at first is a tough one, considering it has to show off the character while presenting the design as well- if their arm or something is hiding their chest, there's probably not a lot going on there/it's already shown somewhere else

The lines were a tough part to the process before I figured out the sizes I was gonna use- 3px for the main details, 2px for the inbetween, and 1px for the tiny details. (This is why I'm gonna go back to Subspace- his lines are totally out of whack compared to the rest of the gang!!)

My colouring process is hard to explain because I tend to just- do it. But I can try! Usually I start by placing out the flat colours and rendering it out one layer at a time. I try to get the colours down, they don't have to be perfect cause I'll end up tweaking them later. I render one colour at a time, (they're usually the same material,) and just go through that during the whole process! Depending on the material I also choose a lighting angle

After the colour I go in and edit them with overlays, colour the lines occasionally, and that's it!

Pop on the signature across the design, post it on the discord servers, tumblr, etc

After I post it I usually take a small hiatus from drawing to think and regain some inspiration, reblogging a bunch of stuff and then starting the process again!

I take my time with things like this, so itll be unlikely for me to post two at a time! Scythe and Ban were a special case because I forgot to put her into the poll and ban was the next guy I was gonna draw! (I personally can also see the effects of this on Scythes design cause I drew her second- I'm not as satisfied with her as I could be, which is why I'm also redoing her.)

Uhhhh yeah that should be it!

[dual-fantasy]

FANON SVETLANA. FROTHS AT THE MOUTH. can people please be for real for a Second. like mike shes actually kind of a bad person but cause shes a strong woman the mind of a total drama fan can only comprehend her being motherly. I think she should also be allowed to try and kill scott. shes equally as cool and awful as mike. if not more. in my dream post total drama au shes just worst because she deserves to be. I think vito is easily one of the funniest total drama characters hands down. everything about him even just in canon is fucking hilarious. the italian superstrength of course isn't realistic but it's the funniest thing to me. especially since most of the total drama fandom doesn't even question it hes just like that. he has a bunch of random skills nobody knows about. he probably doesnt either. anne marias car gets fucking wrecked like crumpled into a compact silver ball its shocking she made it out. he fixes it in 10 minutes with his hands and a plastic fork that survived the crash. hes completely and utterly stupid but only at common things to know. he cant do algebra but he can name every invasive insect species in history documented and otherwise. him and anne maria date for like a year after total drama but he leaves her for cars and men. he tries to help cameron work out once and it goes horribly wrong cameron gets hurt in ways nobodies ever been hurt before. doctors scientists priests etc are all dumbfounded. same thing happens when he brings cameron to literally just sit and watch him work at the mechanics. nobody even knows how he got hurt he just did. camerons not allowed within 50 feet of something metal anymore cause itll get him violently injured in a way that defies all science and god. anne maria is also underrated and so fucking funny. she records it every single time mike and scott fight. she encourages it. she bets at least ten dollars on mike. i think jomaria is so real but in ways nobody else understands. they show up to the Scike Fights together those are dates to them. svetmaria as well but in an awful gritty girlfailure way. my person headcanon(??) is that the reset button was completely made up. mike wanted off the show and it was the only way to get chris to leave them alone. once he was off the show he became so much cooler. but stereotypical cool bully kid in a movie kind of cool(think like... leather jacket) and nobody has the heart(and healthcare) to tell him that it doesn't actually look cool. most of his shirts are stained with Scott Blood. he acts like the type of guy to smoke but he tried it once and almost died. coughed and choked for at least an hour. the same with drinking he acts like he does but he needs emotional support to take a shot. when he actually gets drunk(after crying and gagging 10 times) hes just stupid and pathetic. he learns how to speak up for himself and he gets into fights but hes a loser boyfailure at heart. he rants to brick about a stupid pirated movie hes been watching while he washes the Scott Blood out from under his nails. he is the crywank and mccafferty boy ever but not in a sad way. just in a way you have to understand. Grave Dog

I have a lot of thoughts about the treatment of women in total drama. I'll probably make a whole post about it but it's actually kinda sickening that so many fans still treat women the way they do. fanon Svetlana is my 13th reason I stg. she should be worse. she should be strangling people. she should be biting and clawing and kicking. I love her. she deserves it.

Vito is literally the funniest total drama character I think. his entire existence is so funny to me. the Italian superstrength is an extra funny concept because the fandom doesn't question it, but also the contestants don't either. they all just accept that sometimes Vito can do stuff. randomly. he knows how to make like every poison ever and also he cannot fucking count. the car crash concept is so funny to me too. she brings it to him and it's fucking destroyed and they all look away and he's already fixed it. he does leave her for cars and men. he gives me grease (1978) energy but if grease was a little bit more faggoty and rocky horror picture show (1975). the Cameron concept made me burst out laughing. literally fucking incredible. Cameron gets hit by a car family-guy Brian-fucking-dies style while Vito is driving his dumbass convertible that's made out of cardboard, mod podge, and a tin can.

I also think that Manitoba smith is hilarious to me. it might just be the Australian in me but he means everything to me. he's canonically married? noone talks about that? he mentions his wife? when what who where why? and also I think he knows a lot about genuine Australian culture that noone should know unless they've been to Australia. he has literally never left Canada but he knows everything. he says "I'mgunna run down to wollies to snag lamingtons n a Bundaberg, wunna want?" and everyone stares at him like he's fucking insane. he warns everyone of dropbears. he calls them Zooper doopers. literally noone knows where he got this from.

I agree that the reset button was the only way to get Chris to leave him alone. noone wanted to get brought back so they decided that they would just. lie. and get off of the show. Chris didn't know it was fake he did literally no research whatsoever. chef knew it was fake but he didn't say anything because he understood the want to get off the show.

Anne Maria is soooo underrated it's insane. her elimination was actually iconic. even tho it's a fake diamond she could still sell it for a pretty decent price. it's a massive fucking jewel she could still scam someone with it. it's amazing actually. she means everything to me. jomaria so real they watch mike beat the shit out of Scott. Anne Maria is running bets and jo is charging admission to watch. they make so much money. also I believe in jo/Anne Maria/Svetlana. they beat up scott together. I love them.

mike is such a poser he's literally amazing. his shirts are all stained with blood (mainly Scott's) but if he ever tried to drink vodka he would shrivel up and die. he is the lightest weight ever. brick is holding his hair back while he's vomiting and threatening Scott (who hasn't been there for 10 minutes) after he took a singular shot. he is literally the worst and my personal favourite. Jo helps him wash blood out of his jeans while he's gossiping with Anne maria. I completely understand the McCafferty and crywank guy he's also the front bottoms and modern baseball. you're so real always

[affinitystoryblog]

so these questions were initially an ask but i accidentally published the ask before i was done answering. luckily i had copied what i had written before i deleted the incomplete answer, but here is the answers! i do not remember what the last one was, so unfortunately i can only give u these ones.

--------------

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Sinie

SO ACTUALLY there is a major story event that takes place late book 1 that changes sinie's character for a while. book 2 sinie is not going to be the same as book 1 sinie....i cant say what the event is because i think its too much of a spoiler. but sinie fuckin loses it. goes dark. corrupted by her own emotions. itll be the lowest anyone has ever seen sinie. the event, and her actions resulting from how it affects her, will change her forever.

Csilla

this one is a little harder for me to answer, because i havent thought of something like this for csilla like i have for sinie. csilla is...a little stronger than sinie tbh. she can handle darker emotions easier, given that she's been an outcast and lonely most of her life. she isnt sheltered necessarily, just kept on a tight leash. she feels her mother doesn't love her, she adores her father but he's often times too busy to make any actual time for her so he overcompensates by spoiling her in any way he can, and her and her brother have an estranged resentment for each other.

the one that really brings out the best in her is everett. sure, everett is kinda just doing as programmed and trying to woo csilla, but damn does she fall for it. she's a hopeless romantic, and everett is everything she could've ever wanted in someone. he makes her laugh, hes attractive, he gives her attention, comforts her, they have a lot of similar interests, he is always taking her out to do new things she never dreamed of doing trapped by the shackles of her parents expectations. he makes her feel free. so tbh, i actually think a perfect scenario for this would be everett's betrayal. (idc about spoiling this since i mean itll be obvious its gonna come out once i start the arc) i mean, idk if i would rly call it much of a betrayal, more of a reveal that he was a spy but lbr, he's gonna continue doing what mommy (agitha) says until his heart finally tells him to do whats right. (i have a feeling that everett will be on their side before agitha, but i havent fully figured it out yet...) so there'd be a bit of time where everett's heart is in limbo and csilla would be sitting in her room rotting away bella twilight style until it was all resolved.

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Sinie

again, the big story event that sinie goes through at the end of book 1 will cover all of this. she's definitely gonna marinate in her negative emotions for a while, coping very very badly. she cuts her hair off. not a spoiler u guys have seen short haired sinie tons of times if ur familiar with this blog. i just decided tho...i think i want her to go full throttle and shave it all off. i think she'd eat.

Csilla

see, i love asks like this because i dont normally think of stuff like this for csilla like i do sinie because im used to sinie being the protagonist like she was in beta affinity, but i need to treat csilla with that same respect cause she's equally the protagonist. theyre both the main character because u cant have this story without one or the other. and this stuff makes me think for csilla.

so anyway, i dont know how to answer this question off the top of my head, SO lets psychoanalyze csilla!

she's shy and introverted, but she's also still a nerd; she likes art and music, dance, videogames even though she doesnt play much herself, anime and cartoons (sinie does end up getting her into "kiri kyu-kyu-cute!!") but she also kind of doesnt know how to have friends. she was outcasted for being the weird witchy kid growing up in a bougie all girls private school, and we ALL know how hardcore middle school girls bully. i havent fully thought of how all of csilla's history with bullying went, but it definitely affected her to grow up alone and isolated.

she probably would feel guilty for liking witchcraft and being interested in magic, it being ingrained in her head that its weird and creepy and dangerous. and running with that, she would probably feel like an absolute freak for being a magical girl. ive kind of already depicted csilla calling magic freaky and she is shown to be scared of it.

(shown in chapter 1)

(and then a couple times in chapter 2)

csilla is the one who insists they keep their magical identities a secret, partly because i personally dont want too much of the world suddenly being exposed to magic rn, (hence miko, who takes them to a place they can be destructive) but also because csilla is embarrassed. notice how she calls it "wacky". she does admit it was awesome, but thats really mostly sinie's influence. csilla does still love wacky things, she was just abused into feeling guilt about liking these things. she can be more free with sinie who is OPENLY expressive about her love for magic and their newfound powers.

so i definitely think csilla should go through an identity crisis of some sort, battling her feelings of feeling like a total freak and then feeling like she has a purpose. csilla is a little more logical when it comes to magic, its not supposed to be real. no one would believe them anyway and she's terrified of being considered the freak in a place where she can start over.

i think playing with this idea early on is better, so ill go through and edit some chapters and then keep the theme in mind for future chapters for consistency :)

oc ask meme

[like-wuatafauq]

Things that have genuinely helped me with PTSD: TW:

(These are some things that worked for me that I figured out so they might not work for everyone)

• I took myself to a wreck room so I could wreck something without injuring myself (if you can't afford this, use old clothes, fabrics and tear it or just simply throw it out. This helped me a lot when it comes down to SA)

• Touching the nearest texture(like a wall or fabric) and focusing on it, I use this often when my mind confuses the location/time I'm at.

• Looking at the year/date and thinking how I'm no longer there or something is no longer happening

• Thinking of someone who calms me (if you feel that you don't have someone, think of how your body is there for you and trying its best, I've done both and when it comes down to thinking of my body caring for me it also helped me start caring for my body and taking the steps to feel/be more healthy, this eventually led me to do less selfharm things)

• Knowing that just because I'm trying to be healthy/ get better doesn't mean I should be mean to myself when I'm not.

• Practicing breathing techniques every now and then even when I'm not having a ptsd attack

• Allowing yourself to be cared for little by little to what you're comfortable of course but the right people/partner won't see you as a burden

• I struggled a lot with nightmares not just from SA but other life and military things so I stopped dissecting the nightmares to "fix" myself and would remind myself they are just nightmares, I also go to sleep with piano music instead of other music or even orchestra music that has big jumps in the song. Good examples of the calm piano music:

Stuff We Did by Michael Giacchino,Olga Scheps,

Before You Left by Yehezkel Raz

An Elephant for Mum by Joachim Heinrich

Back in Time by Borrtex.

Because these types of songs don't have drastic changes in volume/tempo throughout the song that can cause more sleep disturbance.

• Letting people know what your triggers are but also working on how they don't always have to be a trigger for you. What I mean: cabinets, doors or anything being slammed or making a slamming noise always triggers me and I've let my roommates know which they've done very good at but when they are rushing and something gets slammed etc. I remind myself they are not doing it on purpose and they are not trying to hurt me. I still flinch, I still worry, but not as much anymore and over time I've been able to even ask if something is up which before I use to just have a sinking feeling they were mad and would take it out on me. It helped me a lot to realize that just because I have a trigger not everyone is going to hurt me

• Doing childlike things help!!! Pretend ptsd is a bully and it's just being mean to you, tell it to go away!! I use to open up a window at night after I had a nightmare and would be like "okay that was mean go away"

• Going back to therapy and taking meds (and if you are already taking meds this is a quick reminder to take your meds with food and water so it doesn't upset your stomach)

• Deciding to actually move on. I have talked to multiple therapists about things but it took me a while to realize talking about it helps but doesn't always work on letting it go. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOURE GOING TO FORGET AND ITLL MAGICALLY DISSAPPEAR. This all took years, effort, and also allowing myself to take breaks, reminding myself that just because I still get nightmares, have triggers etc. Doesn't mean there isn't improvement. And just because there is improvement doesn't mean that what happened is no longer "as bad". It does not invalidate how bad it was. A big thing with any mental health disorders is admitted and allowing yourself to see that you're dealing with something hard. Just because what happened doesn't seem as bad or affect me as much anymore doesn't mean it wasn't a terrible thing, it certainly doesn't mean that if someday I need to breakdown as if it happened yesterday that all that work was for nothing. It was for something. It was to enjoy life a little better, care for myself a little better, be able to have better in all sorts of aspects. You deserve to be happy,loved and cared for after something shitty happened. Because the truth is it was shit. Can you honestly expect someone to go through something insane and be sane? No, so go easy on yourself,  take your time. The right people will be there for you, The right people will show up, The right people will stay and put effort and won't see you as a waste or burden.

I hope this helps anyone even just a tiny bit. If you need someone to talk to, rant or ask for advice etc. Just leave me a msg or an Ask, anon or not. Take care, it's going to be alright. And if it's shitty now, and there's nothing good anyone can say then, it's shit that's fucking shitty and you're allowed to feel like shit. Lastly, if you're not able to fully recover, I'm still proud of you and you should be too.

[wolfisland]

hey do you have any first time concert tips

YES!

just as a disclaimer, im physically disabled, australian, and i live in a large city, and those can definitely make a difference here

but heres some tips or things i generally try to follow for myself, under the cut!

⭐ always carry portable chargers. multiple if possible

⭐ stay hydrated. enclosed venues get hot and sweaty and gross and if youre moving around a lot you WILL get dehydrated. some venues offer free water, take advantage of it. also stay masked bc i cannot stress enough what a perfect breeding ground for illness venues can be

⭐ protect your ears. there are loads of noise reduction earbuds marketed towards concerts and loud environments in particular, and honestly in my experience theyre kind of overpricer, but protection is absolutely vital, ESPECIALLY in smaller venues in my experience. noise over 70db over prolonged periods of time will start to damage your hearing and ive seen 90db as the LOWER end for concerts ive been to.

⭐ if you have any headphones or earbuds with active noise cancellation these are also great options, i actually prefer wearing my headphones just with anc on than i do my silly little specialized loop earbuds.

⭐ try not to go to these events alone if you can help it. most concerts are at night and most concerts are at licensed venues and whether youre drinking or not, there will likely be people acting like fools around you. it goes without saying to NEVER accept a drink you didnt watch be mixed or opened yourself.

⭐ make sure people know where you are and make sure you always have enough money easily accessible to you (either in cash, or in your bank account) to pay for an uber or cab or whatever. if its a big concert theres a decent chance itll fuck up public transport. ive left shows at 11 pm and not gotten home til 3 am just because of how crowded shit is and how fucked public transport is after like 10-11 pm

⭐ get your concert merch before the show starts. like every time i am so serious if you wait til after the show 7 times out of 10 whatever you want will be gone.

⭐ if theres an opener i can almost promise you you will not see your headliner for like half an hour after the opener finishes. go pee now

⭐ in some areas if youre disabled just call the venue and ask for accommodations. i can usually make sure i get seated (for free) because im disabled and it makes such a huge difference its not even funny. like just ask. theres no harm in asking, worst case scenario is they say they cant help when you were gonna to to the show anyways. some venues will also make sure security keeps an eye on you so you can exit safely after the show too.

⭐ if youre trying to get close to the front at a show, barricade for example, youre almost always gonna need to show up way earlier than you think you are. an hour? try three. get there early and make yourself comfortable. itll suck and you might not even get close but when you do it fucking rules

⭐ dont be that person who has to get told to shut up. dont be rude or heckle the artists if they arent taking the piss themselves. dont throw shit at them. dont try and climb up on the stage. dont keep yelling while theyre talking. dont interrupt them while theyre talking by showing requests for stuff that isnt on the setlist. if youre close to the stage you might be able to see the setlist (and you might even get the setlist after the show if youre close enough or linger around) OR you can probably search up sets the artists have played recently to get a better idea. dont be a tool.

⭐ pit etiquette sucks rn. covid has made people forgot how to fucking behave and if the artist themselves doesnt set some boundaries dont trust that the venues rules around pits will be respected either. i am so serious. people die in pits so be careful. also tbh almost always unless youre like BIG VENUE big, if you call for a pit and wont get in it yourself youre nothing to me sorry

⭐ if you can, support the openers too! if youre lucky theyll be at the merch stands themselves after if the stand is selling their merch too. definitely go say hi and grab like a shirt or sticker or poster or cd or whatever if you can.

⭐ you will get charged like $20 for a vodka redbull. dont let them charge you $20 for a vodka redbull. pre game elsewhere if youre gonna drink.

⭐ if i think of anything else ill come back here and drop it, feel free to dm me about any of this

[rose022]

based on my last post!

the character that made me think of that is rei from im in love with the villainess and while i dont think im caught up with the comic anymore i read a lot of it and even parts of the novel when i first got into it. for those who dont know this girl gets isekaied into a video game she loved where her fav character was the villainess and she now tries to woo her. when you start the series, you think of her as just a silly and outgoing character but the thing is, its all an act. thats what gets me. like yes she really goes love claire but shes a lesbian and the character she knew in the game had one crush on a guy- she knows she had no chance. and so shes obnoxious about her advances. she makes herself into a joke because she believes then itll hurt less when shes inevitably rejected and pushed away and when people once again find her to be gross and weird. but! she still has a friend who enjoys her company and while claire is thrown off by rei (understandably) she also doesnt actually hate her or genuinely tell her that shes gross. and so when someone else comes to steal claire and rei gets jealous, the other person confronts her about this. that shes not genuinely trying to win over claire. so yeah idk that just gets me, plus the way they talk about and handle queer themes is really good (though warning in the manga there is a part with incest from what i remember. its nothingg big but i wanna say in case someone needs to avoid that.)

and now. the character i mass rbed last night, my beloved Sasha Tartt from the antagonist's pet. she was also isekaied into one of these romantic fantasy stories but shes not one of the main characters or anything, just some random nobody that barely had a line mentioning her. so she decides to avoid them and live peacefully. and she figures out that even tho no one cares abt her cus shes that much of a nobody, she can still get sweets and good stuff by sucking up to these nobles by, quite sincerely, acting like a pet. shes cute and people like to feed her treats and give her pets but they also dont view her as equal to them. shes just selling herself. and the worst part is that because nobles are taught to supress their feelings and always be poised and dignified, they can never show their emotions nor do they know how to deal with them. and so, she allows people to take it out on her. telling her about their problems, yelling, and attacking her. she says she doesnt mind this because she still gets pets and sweets. but shes not a person to these people, no matter how much she compliments them and helps them with their issues. and theres also all the people who talk bad about her for doing this and having no pride. whats even worse is that she has this habit of bitting her thumb til it bleeds when shes nervous or worried. shes keeps thinking about her past life too so she wants to take advantage of everything good here but it comes at the cost of herself.

oughh i wanna reread it now... also i very much recommend this one but tbh i dont like how it ends and i can do a whole lil rant abt that too but ill save it for another time. i doibt anyones even gonna read this one

[quadrant-query]

theres someone i really care about, ill call them z. we'd been best friends for a while, and had been heading in a pale direction for a little while. z found a matesprit at one point, and started spending a lot of time with him. throughout that relationship, it felt like z didnt really have time for me, even though they were my oldest friend. they and their matesprit broke up. (it was a complicated situation, neither party was fully at fault.) shortly after, we became moirails.

recently, some stuff happened, and they and their ex-matesprit might start hanging out again, and maybe even start dating again. im trying really hard to be supportive, but its difficult not to get jealous. the first time they were together, it felt like z never had time to hang out with me, and im worried that itll happen again.

it feels so selfish that im hurting about it at all. theyre my moirail ffs, im supposed to be happy for them, not jealous because another quadrantmate might take up their time.

im also worried that i might care more about them than they do me, or that they dont care about me in the same way. when we became moirails, they commented that "it wouldnt be much different" than us being friends, and i dont know how to feel about that. does moirallegiance even mean the same thing to them as it does to me??

any advice on what i should do? i know i should probably talk to them about it, but i dont know how to. anytime i imagine it, i just picture myself as coming across as selfish and immature.

thank you in advance for any tips you can give, sorry this was a bit of a long one.

This is a rough situation, and I'm sorry you're going through it.

Jealously about other quadrantmates might be not be common, but it isn't rare either. It makes sense to become somewhat resentful if your quadrantmate seems to be putting a lot less effort into your relationship than one of their others.

It's also a bit of a rust flag that your moirail thinks moirallegiance is not much different from your friendship. If it's true that they feel differently about the relationship than you, that would definitely confirm and also explain their lack of effort.

Sometimes the only solution to a problem like this is to make your feelings known. I understand that you feel like you are being unreasonable and even selfish, but the entire point of a moirail is to soothe and balance these kinds of things-- so you would benefit from telling them this even if it did not pertain directly to them. Communication is very good.

Alternatively, if you're really worried about possibly hurting them, I would suggest putting in more effort yourself to make a "good example". Take them on extravagant dates, ask to hang out multiple nights in a row, stay at their hive overday, start divulging more emotional secrets to them, maybe go a little overboard with the sensual papping and kissing. Really get it through their head that you're an important romantic partner who is taking this relationship seriously. This could inspire them to realize how unlike friendship it is and try to match you.

But in my opinion, communication is always the best option.

[chuuyahoo]

Zhongli x Childe

Café au fluff one-shot (1970 words)

♥------------------------------------------------♥

♥------------------------------------------------♥

" Hey there Zhongli !! how are you doing today ? i hope im not too early for class" greeted Ganyu

"Im doing doing just fine and no you are right on time" Zhongli replied with a kind smile.

Ganyu, a busy med college student, very sleepy but extremely hardworking.

"Come driving rain or winds that churn, I shall return, by blade alone, armed, if barefoot, to my home.. good evening Mr. Zhongli" Kazuha said with a polite smile as he took his seat on the counter of the empty cafe.

"Good evening Kazuha , you are as poetic as always"

Kazuha, a middle school student with a way with words.

"Arataki "Numero Uno" Itto, here in the flesh! Hahaha... *cough*"

"Good evening itto .. er are you alright ?" Zhongli asked with a concerned smile

"Yeah im chill gramps"

"well thats good to hear" Itto took his seat besides Kazuha and started chatting away about beetles because "They're so cool little dude you have no idea"

Arataki Itto , an animal enthusiast and Earth science major, hes very excited most of the time.

"Good evening Zhongli !! Ei is finally free from mid terms so she's able to join us today!" Miko, freshly graduated, works in a publishing house.

"Hello." Ei or Raiden , she's in her last year of college doing business studies.

"Greetings Miko , Ei , im glad you could join us today !

We'll be making Bento cakes. They are the size of a bento(lunch box) but the rest is exactly the same as a normal cake."

All the "students" were standing at their own stations, which were just the cafe tables put together. They had a small notebook and pen in their hands ready to write down what notes Mr. Zhongli aka their teacher gave. A few actually wrote notes while some doodled "Beetle shaped icing supremacy"

Zhongli is a college graduate from Liyue College of Teyvat. He graduated in Business studies and culinary arts . Wanting to become a chef from an early age he had a clear dream in mind and was currently living it by owning a small yet popular cafe called Cafe Rax (named after his pet cat morax). He owned a few other places aswell but spent most his time here. He often gave lectures at LCT , being an alumni there.

baking lessons after the cafe closed was an impulsive decision but a good one since he found many friends. All the people came for different reasons.

Ganyu : "I feel like im too involved in work and i wanted a new hobby!"

Kazuha : he works at the cafe as a part timer "so why not, i wish to see where this path leads me"

Itto : "im gonna bake delicious stuff for granny, she's done so much for me !"

Miko : "itll be good seeing you everyday my friend , plus me and Ei can bake together"

Raiden : "for Miko"

The strength on the so called baking class was small but they were a happy lot.

"Firstly i want you all to tie your aprons and wash your hands"

Everyone in class had an apron of their choice , all of them had specific designs sewed onto them , Zhongli's had a small whale , Ittos had a little brown dog , Kazuha's had a purple and white electro sign , Ei's had a pink fox and Miko's had dango.

"Okay people now take out the following ingredients

2 eggs

1 egg yolk

Dark muscovado sugar 60g

Maple syrup 15g (1.5 tbsp)

1/2 tsp salt

All-purpose flour 50g

Dark cocoa powder 10g (1.5 tbsp)

("Thats sugar itto not salt"

"Pffftttt ofc i knew that haha-")

__________________________________________________________________________

He ran with a smile on his face and cheeky but slightly vacant eyes as water splashed around his feet and all of his clothing became drenched. If he didn't quickly find shelter, all of his books would be a tangled mess of soggy pages. In the distance, he could make out Cafe Rax. He debated whether or not to enter the coffee shop because there was a particular person there who gave him feelings he had never experienced before. He was motivated to genuinely live, to get up, and to improve by the person inside. If only the person was aware of him, things might progress if they did.

. . . . . . Okay maybe that was a little dramatic, they were best of friends but Mr. Ginger went ahead and fell in love .

Tartaglia had known Zhongli for at least four years, first as a senior in college, then as an alumnus delivering speeches, and last as a friend and his own personal barista who provided him biased discounts that no one had the courage to point out.

The bell jingled loudly, signalling the entry of a person into the cafe. Tartaglia came here every day at the same hour, so no one needed to turn their heads to see who it was. Zhongli looked up from where he was removing his mittens to see his best friend, whom he secretly adored staring at. Wet, vivid orange hair clung to his forehead, blue eyes flashing brightly, and a broad smile with all teeth and heated cheeks. Seeing his best friend in this state made Zhongli's heart race. He grabbed a towel and ran over to the ginger, grumbling about how he'll get sick if he continues forgetting his umbrella . "You should be more careful Childe , how many times have i advised you to carry a raincoat or an umbrella-"

He stopped abruptly when a hand came up to his face and a dainty finger grazed his cheek. His cheeks flushed at the contact, he barely managed to keep his composure .

"You had flour on your cheek" said Childe

Childe brushed his thumb again on the brunettes cheek , his touch was feather light .

It was flawless. Zhongli had a whale apron on, while Childe had a towel over his head and messy hair, all raw and domestic. Zhongli's eyes followed the tiny water droplets trickling down the ginger's face as they exchanged glances.

Zhongli extended his hand to touch Childes. He then closed his eyes and relaxed, savouring the sensation of his best friend's palm brushing across his cheek. Childe admired and loved him with all of his heart, hoping Zhongli could see how his eyes shone at the thought of the other man. The rest of the room was silent until Itto's cough shattered the tension

(his face was red from holding in the cough "dude." "sorry little guy i tried my best" "drink some water")

When the trance was broken, Zhongli returned to work with a flushed face, and Childe started doing his assignments as usual on Zhongli's desk. Both of them were focused elsewhere.

How could they focus on work when that just happened. Childe was getting tired of this 'routine'. He really wished for Zhongli to see him in a different light. Not as a friend but something more. He wanted to mean to Zhongli what Zhongli meant to him. He wanted to watch the sunset with him , hold hands , kiss him and be his forever and ever .

He distracted himself with algebra and soon enough his thoughts were lost in numbers and variables . He was so laser focused on his work that he didn't hear several ovens and the rustling of people walking out the door with the jingle of the bell.

("Cya little dude , now imma let granny taste this !!" "farewell for now my friend , i wonder how scara will like this" "Lets have a movie date ei" "of course")

Zhongli cleaned up the counter thoroughly. He collected all the bowls and other utensils used and kept them under the sink , then putting away all the extra ingredient back to their places.

He took out the freshly baked bento cake and started icing it. He had a variety of colours from which he chose blue , orange and little bit of red. He somehow managed to draw a chibi childe. He was happy with his creation. But he was also nervous because today was the day he was going to do it . Risk it all . Confess.

Zhongli had thought of the most extravagant ways to confess to childe but then he settled for the most familiar and meaningful way to do it. By baking. the cake had both his love for baking and for his dearest childe. He gazed at the ginger sitting at a desk , scratching his pencil on paper , eyes narrowed in concentration as her did his work. He couldnt be more proud , remembering the struggle the other had went through to reach this level of calm. The leg shaking had lessned and the focus had increased , his eyes were just a smidge brighter . Knowing he played a small role in the happening of that was just elating .

He grabbed the bento and softly kept it on the gingers desk which made him look up. He noticed?the cafe to be empty and all cleaned up.

"Sorry for intruding !! i should get going Zhongli"

"Its alright , i have to talk to you. Have this first , its- uh i made it for you"

(aww man he even looks professional while stuttering thought childe dreamily)

"For me?? im flattered , truly. If i may , what is the reason for such a mmmm delicious present?"(from a delicious man like yourself )

Zhongli took a deep breath as he took Childes hands in his, he could feel the roughness of his fingers , the warmth of them. He was feeling a different sense of calm. He was relaxed as he looked into his best friends eyes and dared to say the words harboured in his heart.

"Tartaglia, my darling I'm grateful for every minute you've spent with me. I'm always afraid that I won't be able to repay you. I adore you more with each passing year that we remain friends. I've never felt such intense feelings for someone before you. You came into my life and lighted it up. Your ocean blue eyes and beautiful hair never cease to amaze and entice me. I love you. With my entire heart. I would like to court you if you allow me to , beautiful. "

Zhongli looked up from where he had his eyes fixed on their conjoined hands. Blue eyes shone with unshed tears. He panicked for a second before relaxing at the sight of a smile making its way up to Childes face. There was a lot of crying as the younger shoved his face into Zhonglis chest and held onto him like he would never let go. Childe was just so happy to have his feelings returned.

After crying and blabbing out response to the confession, Zhongli looked at Childe and he looked ethereal even with red rimmed eyes and a puffy red nose . He cupped his face softly as he stroked his cheek with the pad of his thumb. They looked into each others eyes "Yes. You can court me Zhongli" said childe with a smile. They dont know who closed the distance but with the feeling of soft lips on each other , their minds went blank. They shared a single innocent kiss , till it became 2 then 3 and then countless. The love was visible in their every movement . The way Zhongli held the youngers face , the was Childe wrapped his arms around zhongli and into his hair and finally the way their lips moved against each others , something fresh and new that could never get old ....

Miko walked back to her house with a smile on her face as the sun shone down on her giving her an ethereal glow..."guess i'll get my notebook tomorrow , at least they got their shit together"she laughed and went her way...

END

♥------------------------------------------------♥

an : Thank you so much for reading!!! I hope you enjoyed :D it was really fun writing this, it's my first time posting here so this is new . Don't hesitate to point out mistakes!! Love y'all <3

Drink water!!

[dreamyhoroscope]

ALRIGHT im going to try doing the agere questions from @stuffielovinhours ... im actually in big mode right now so itll be answered from the big mode perspective. under a read more because its kind of long

1 - Favourite nicknames/pet names?

im not big into pet names! i do enjoy "little guy" and things of that nature

2 - How deep is your regression? Is it voluntary? Involuntary?

it is mostly involuntary

3 - What helps you get into headspace?

admittedly its usually brought on by stress, but sometimes i just go into it by being on here

4 - What’s something you absolutely need to have when you feel little?

plushies!!!!!

5 - What are things you need to avoid when you’re little? (or things that pull you out of headspace?)

nsfw stuff

6 - Best little outfits?

i dont actually have little outfits but when i regress i tend to be in clothes that are warm and comfy, such as robes and warm socks. so i guess pajamas?

7 - Do you like being taken care of? Are you independent or dependent?

this is a funny question because i dont like being taken care of, but i also want to be at the same time. but im too embarrassed to admit i age regress unless i know someone else does it. and i wouldnt trust anyone being my caregiver unless ive known them for years

8 - What should someone know if they’re going to be around little you?

most warnings that come with big me apply to little me as well. i WILL be cringe and i WILL be free

9 - Favourite show/movie to watch in headspace?

precure, aikatsu, spy x family, stuff like that :3

10 - What is/are your comfort item(s)?

my plushies and soft blankets

11 - Do your likes and dislikes change depending on whether you’re big or small?

nope! my interests stay the same

12 - What kind of gear do you prefer, if you like any? (Remember, having no gear is okay, and using things that don’t match up with your headspace age is also okay!)

i dont really have gear unless plushies count as gear. im way too embarrassed to try getting gear even if its subtle

13 - Does anyone irl know you’re a regressor?

...TECHNICALLY YES AND NO. my therapist, dad and brother do i know i slip into a childish persona sometimes and have more childish interests. but they dont know that i do it for fun sometimes since i mostly keep it online and this blog is a closely guarded secret for a lot of people

14 - What are your preferred terms for your headspace/yourself when you’re small? (e.g. small, little, tiny, regressed etc)

littlespace or baby mode

15 - What cg names do you like calling someone/the ones who take care of you? (you can answer this even if you don’t have a cg)

papa or mama, something simple and easy

16 - Any obsessions?

plushies, pokemon, stationery ... stuff like that

17 - Do you use a different voice when you’re in headspace?

my vocabulary changes but i dont know if my voice does? mentally its the same

18 - How long do you need to be small for to feel better?

id say about an hour or so. i dont think you should measure when youre in little space, that kind of defeats the point of it imo

19 - How often do you need to be small?

i can go a while without doing it voluntarily, but i couldnt tell you how long it goes for when its involuntary. i do have people try and get me out of it

20- What’s your headspace age/age range?

anywhere from 3 to 7

[wrestlezon]

aew dynamite 2/8/23 liveblog containment zone

wrestling!!

ooo starting it off with mjf new jacket. put that on the list of mjf outfits oh hes fighting takeshita right, its all coming back to me omg he got black and pink briefs too

[ mjf vs takeshita ]

takeshita dont fall for the handshake!! HE FELL FOR IT NOOO its cool seeing a rare MJF Match™ hes doing all the bits. ref shield im anti-spraytan. come on dude just dont have it wow the crowd is loud. what are they saying? lets go nashville nashville sucks??? BITING... unhinged takeshita is cool. im a little mad i got the uh. wrong ddt tickets for march though -_- ok i lied im pretty mad. im obsessed with how mad i am. im not going to get over it forever what a good bit that lead into the deadlift german suplex. takeshita is soooooo strong mjf so smug. your hubris!! ok im gonna need to see that midair corner flip thing again. what the. how did he end up on his feet so smoothly and nonchalantly hes doing a lot of this "psyche!!! IM FINE ACTUALLY!!!!!" stuff. its fun i like it. ARMBAR!!!!!!! BITING i think mjf is a good wrestler. i like to see him wrestle, which is rarely, because he rarely wrestles. takeshita bare knee attack. rolled ref shield part TWO his knee attack is silly looking im sorry aha! knee damage revenge!!! unless hes doing some sort of pretending-to-sell thing like how hes been doing this whole time ok takeshitas powerbomb thing ruled senton!! i am so scared every time i see one ok thrusting armbar? real mad he lost to garcia in the tumblr babygirl tournament huh

lmfao the catcall from the crowd when he put away his ring oh! its danielson omg takeshita bladed from the ring??? hes all blooded now LMAO NOO THE CAMERA CAUGHT THE BLADEPASS...

[ samoa joe video promo ]

samoa joe is just like "im gonna beat you up wardlow" joe i have to say thank you for giving wardlow a haircut

[ the bunny vs jamie hayter ]

the bunny!! she had a big match a while ago she had to cancel due to illness or injury, right? itll be cool to see this match hayter's hair buns look cool. theyre like lil animal ears. nekomimi ringrope leg choke :)c what is britt baker doing with this gatorade sign. advertisement? LMAO "how did u like that jamie" taking turns doing apron combat ohhhhhh thats a hayterade sign i get it now oof the bunny had hayter land right on her face huh that ended fast... <:( i hope shes good

[ backstage with saraya and toni storm ]

dang saraya pulling out the babygirl nice ok thats like 4 babygirls in short succession. cmon dont wear it out ladies youre gonna need to learn how to spraypaint Ls if youre gonna make this your thing. distance and speed im just being a hater u_u they will have to win me over from square one

[ backstage with mjf ]

hey nice its an mjf interview lmao ok the blood on the armwraps buddy? sick and twisted mjf hes damp. hes talking about picking up girls in his car but im kinda distracted by how he kinda looks like wolverine with his hair and beard where is this going mjf oh i see. he is telling a story about how he is a real scumbag badguy, criminal style im sorry hold on im not doing my part as an audience member and believing his fake story. give me a second to internalize it

[ ricky starks vs the JAS gauntlet ]

oh he has to fight all of them in succession? that would explain why this angelo parker match was short i dont know if they explained it on commentary i was still trying to suspend my disbelief enough to be angered at mjf's story about being evil and unforgivable matt menard got mopped up i love garcia :) i dont love sammy guevara but hes making garcia suffer and i can appreciate that part nooo i love rickys spear dont counter it with a headlock. garciaaaaaaa whoa stood up into big powerbomb. ricky is so strong i will say this every time someone slowly lifts another person up. sorry wait what the hell??? why do they have to do this to ricky. god

[ backstage with the acclaimed ]

bowens a little somber here

[ backstage with danielson and takeshita ]

uh oh. they locked him in is danielson gonna walk out with door fragments because thatd be cool his. tracksuit we've reached critical babygirl calls tonight. no more babygirl. dont ruin babygirl for me oh he just shouldered down the door regular style. thats fine too aubrey you could count slower. whats mjf gonna do? enroll in referee school and come back in time to count him out??? danielson appeared that was a really loud chair dropkick oh no hes blee-- DONT LICK THAT AUGH THANK YOU AUBREY blood on da camera lens its hard to pay attention to this match between the action and also the active commentary i can only ever pay attention to one at a time omg that tumble off the apron rush stop taking a shower during your matches lmfao mjf and taz are just chit chatting right now mjf is in casual chat mode its funny. hes not doing his mjf voice as much danielson looks sooooo red and pink right now. wild. good color what a match

oh mjf is so mad hes fighting off all the security!! good. nice

[ backstage with the uh. impractical jokers ]

i hate the impractical jokers btw. i cant handle that much secondhand embarrassment. so i am not enjoying this crossover i am enjoying the distant match happening in the background i didnt have time to get lunch before dynamite and my friend had connection issues during so we're just barely behind enough to skipping through the commercial breaks. im so hungry

[ ar fox + top flight vs the elite ]

wait is this the main event. this is going to be a hella long match dante with the verticality the three flipmasters are here and theyre fighting against the young bucks, also flipmasters. i dont think kenny is a flipmaster? but he sure can wrestle ive been informed that the acclaimed match also exists. im sorry acclaimed i forgot. to be fair im just afraid of them losing the belts lmao ar fox following through to senton on nick(?) back to back jumping outta the ring attacks those kinds of corner backflipping slams, i never know who is the one taking the brunt of the damage there HOW does dante just gain altitude while being horizontal matt jackson with the triple pin god lmao YES top flight teamwork moves :)c and then the elite win. well it wasnt gonna turn out any other way

[ hook video promo ]

this is an extremely quiet video oh its just a "hook is a cool guy" video

[ stokely backstage ]

hes mad at hook!? LMAO HOOK ok i get it. i like this

[ main event time! acclaimed vs gunn club ]

wow we caught up to live yo listen the gunns are in so much glitter right now lmao excalibur criticizing himself during pip... schiavone is right youll get another chance to pronounce picture in picture king i am zoned into this match. or zoned out of it. no reports man bowens really getting into it time for everyone to just lie down for a bit OH NO!!!!!!! THE REF GASP!!!!!!!!! BILLY GUNN OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no way billy goes back to them. they hit him with a belt yeah!!! kill them acclaimed!!!!!! slow count ref debuff NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ?????????????????????????????????????????????????

billy gunn holding bowens' hand............