#because apparently being not functional two thirds of the time is not normal lol

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 18

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 41.3k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Well, clearly I need to stop deeming one or another chapter the longest of the series when I still haven't written the rest cos I'm actually equally horrified and surprised that this chapter is this long - especially since I had to chop down a third of it to push it towards a new chapter. Yep, that's right - you lot are getting two more chapters after this one and the epilogue lol Anyway, I cannot believe I'm posting this chapter finally!!! Pinch me moment, really, but I hope with all my heart that you love it. Also sorry but I just literally finished writing this so it's not fully proofread so I'm very sorry if there's grammatical and spelling mistakes. Okay, I'll shut up now!! Enjoy!!! xxx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 |

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Four days had passed since that stupid article had come out and Ella seemed to be working on automatic. She was trying her best to appear completely normal and unbothered while every word she’d read that day echoed inside her mind in an agonizing loop.

The giddy Ella that Ben had been teasing all day that Thursday was long gone by the end of the day. He had been completely ignored when he asked her what was wrong while everyone was saying goodbye and walking out the door to go home.

And the following four days were just the same: a blank expression on her face that only was exchanged from time to time for a forced smile she pulled whenever someone asked her if she was alright.

Ben had tried to joke with her on Friday, teasing her about being so down bad for Alex that she was missing him too much to function. But it had gone poorly. Ella had frozen in her place and stood up abruptly after a few beats of silence, grabbing her pack of cigarettes and lighter to take with her outside and her voice broke as she mumbled that she needed to go for a smoke. That was when Ben started to actually worry.

Even her coworkers had realized it was something far deeper than they’d been thinking when Monday had come around and she looked the same as the end of Thursday and Friday. At first, they thought she was just shutting down after coming back from her hometown, but she never let it drag on this much when that would happen. Usually she’d speak to her family on the phone on the weekend and that’d be enough for her to be cured of the homesickness, but this time it was apparent that it just wasn’t the case.

They tried to cheer her up during lunch break, tempting her with an offer to take her to her favorite Los Feliz restaurant, but she shook her head to decline their advances. With an absent look on her face, she told them she’d brought her own food that day. No witty remark to hold them up to that offer in the future, just falling silently into eating—more like moving around—the lunch she’d packed herself the night before.

Even if she was behaving that way, she was fully invested in her work and whilst everyone appreciated the fact that work wasn’t being halted, it just wasn’t something anyone in the office enjoyed seeing.

So Ben and Aaron begged her to go home earlier that day, knowing she’d be willing to stay way past usual hours just to drown in the work that had accumulated slightly while she was in Tennessee. She had already caught up with a lot on Thursday and Friday, and the last thing anyone wanted was for her to burnout due to her seeking an escape from whatever was going on by working non-stop.

Ella’s eyes were red from how long she’d been staring at her computer, editing pictures without a break once she came back into her office after finishing lunch—which had been a mere few bites of her pasta before threw it away. She still had two weeks to give back the finished product but she was determined to just do everything and anything she could to distract herself from her thoughts.

Staying at the office later than usual on Thursday and Friday had helped, and the weekend she’d spent alone at home had been beyond miserable, she needed the distraction that work gave her that Monday, and every day that would follow until her mind would stop racing and she could try to get over everything—force herself to forget about everything that had happened in Tennessee and forget about the hope that had bloomed inside her from it all, the one that made her heart break in a thousand more pieces the more time passed.

It was all a blur how Ben and Aaron managed to get her out of the office by six in the afternoon and when she got back home by seven, she was thankful for loud music and the lighter than usual LA traffic.

She’d spent the weekend deep cleaning every corner of her house, trying to be meticulous in every aspect so that her focus was completely on her tasks, so many movies had been playing in the background those two days. Crying over fictional people’s lives seemed to be just what she needed to fool herself about what she really wanted to cry over. When she had gone into her room to clean it though, it had gotten tough and Sunday had unfortunately ended with her sobbing as she clutched onto that Clockwork Orange shirt she’d never given him back.

So when Ella stepped foot into her spotless house, she started to panic over what she was meant to do so as to not drive herself insane for the rest of the day.

Breana solved that for her by calling her. She was currently on the way to Indianapolis with the lads and she’d been trying hard not to stress herself about Ella’s lack of answer to her texts throughout the entire day.

Unlike Alex, Breana hadn’t gotten the version of Ella who was acting like nothing had happened; she’d gotten a sad and absent Ella on the phone every time she called, and the texts would always come late and short. The model was actually surprised about how well Ella was playing it off to Alex, chipper on the phone to him and smiling hard, making sure to reply on time and joking with him through texts.

She was trying to fool everyone else into thinking everything was alright, and the only one who actually saw how broken and despaired she was, was Breana.

“Hey babe, I thought you were gonna text me during your lunch break.” Bre said softly when Ella picked up the facetime call.

Ella could see that she was hidden away in the back lounge of the bus so she felt relieved that she could let herself break down freely in front of her best friend.

“Sorry, completely forgot. Everyone was trying to ask me what was wrong and to cheer me up and I was focused on not crying in front of everyone.” All the tears she’d been holding back started to silently run down her cheeks, it made her feel so pathetic but she needed to cry after trying so hard not to all day.

Bre’s face fell at the sight and she wanted to be there with her and hold her all night, console her and tell her it’d be alright. After all, Alex still hadn’t mentioned seeing Alexa in New York so it felt like Ella was worrying about a phantom menace.

“It’s okay. Let it out, hun.” The model sighed when she watched Ella drop her head and start quietly sobbing, her shoulders shaking as she wept. “Why don’t you– Have you thought about asking him?” Bre asked wholeheartedly, thinking that Ella subtly asking him about it would lead to him honestly giving her the answers she needed.

But Ella was long gone in psyching herself into the worst situations, so there was no way in hell that she’d risk her own heart all over again by asking him about it. There was no way she could ask without exposing herself and she had no idea if she could ever come back from getting her heart broken by Alex again.

It was way different this time, nothing like what had happened in 2012 but exactly because of that is that Ella was terrified to risk losing him now that he meant so much more to her.

Just thinking about how much she loved him was enough for her to cry a little harder as she shook her head before lifting it up to look at Breana through the screen. “I have thought about it but I won’t do it. I can’t just ask him without making it obvious that I’m in love with him and then what? If he’s actually considering it with Alexa like everyone is raving about online then, what? I do my best to ignore the heartbreak so I don’t ruin the friendship?”

“Ella, he’s not said a thing about Alexa and we’ve all talked about New York multiple times these past few days.” Breana explained with a sigh, hoping her words would help settle Ella even if it was just slightly.

“Yeah, well. Maybe he’s hiding it. Maybe something happened and he hasn’t said anything ‘cause everything in Tennessee is too fresh and you’d all shit on him for it.” Ella was reeling by then and she knew it but everything that was being said online about the pair getting back together was making her come up with every and any theory that would back it up.

She was trying to get ahead of the big reveal and make herself numb to the future heartbreak, getting herself ready for the worst possible outcome. She was still trying to come to terms about the fact that this most likely meant losing him for good. There was no way she’d be strong enough to endure seeing them together while she was stuck longing for what could never be.

“You need to stop reading the bullshit people say.” Breana raised her brows at her with a stern look on her face, knowing Ella had gone on Twitter again and read what people were saying like she had on Sunday after finding Alex’s shirt in her wardrobe. “If you don’t ask him, I will. So you’ve got until the weekend to do it.” The model gave her the ultimatum and it was enough for Ella to scoff loudly and frown.

“You can’t do that.” Ella said breathlessly, the hurt clear in her voice.

Bre shrugged, “You’re driving yourself mad, Ellie. I can’t keep seeing you like this because of something that’s clearly not happening.” Her words didn’t matter because Ella was still looking at her like she’d just stabbed her in the back, “What happened with everything your parents said? Don’t you remember huh? They were right, in every single thing they said. And your mom is right too, you should tell him even if it’s through the phone.”

Ella shook her head, “Not happening anymore. Sorry Bre.”

Breana gave her a sad smile, “It’s not me you should be saying sorry to, Ella. The only one you’re hurting right now is yourself.”

Those words hit Ella like a punch in the gut, her breath hitched in her throat as she tried not to sob loudly and she let her gaze drop to her hands. She couldn’t handle much more anymore today so she shook her head and hastily let Breanna go, “I’m gonna make myself something to eat, shower and go to bed. I’ll text you in the morning.”

Breana’s sigh was full of anguish for her best friend but she knew it’d be worse to push, she’d only drive Ella into a worse state and she needed to relax. “Okay babe. Don’t forget to text me yeah? I’ll be waiting for your messages.”

Ella only hummed with a curt nod, her gaze wandering around her desolate kitchen for a second before facing Bre again and saying goodbye, “I promise I’ll text. Love you.”

“Love you.” Breana reciprocated and ended the call herself.

When she came out of the back lounge to where everyone was hanging out, they all picked on the sadness that had overcome her expression.

“Y’alright?” Jamie asked Bre as she sat down next to Matt, making the drummer turn to look at her fiance and when he caught the look on her face, he hugged her tightly and dropped a kiss on her cheek.

“Yeah, yeah. Just tired.” The model excused and the guitarist nodded. Everyone caught her up on their conversation then, slowly managing to get little giggles and soft smiles from her as the time went and they got closer to the state of Indiana.

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The following day, Ella woke up to the ringing of her phone. An incoming facetime call from none other than Alex. A call that made her frown and startle awake since it was half past six in the morning and all she could think about was that the early call meant an emergency.

But Alex’s chipper, “Hiya, darling.” proved nothing close to an emergency had happened.

“Hi, sweetness.” Ella replied breathlessly. Seeing him ready for the day with his hair yet to be gelled back with a bright smile on his face that not even the cigarette that he was smoking could hide, made her want to scream. “You’re very smiley today.” She teased him the best she could, trying to ignore the ache in her heart that got more prominent when the memory of the article and the stupid online chat weaved through into the forefront of her mind.

He hummed like he was aware. After all, his cheeks hurt from how hard he’d been smiling for the past hour. “I’ve got good news.”

“Oh?” Was all that Ella managed to say, her signal to get him to start talking.

But all Alex did was smirk and hum, “Mhm.”

She knew what he was doing, so she rolled her eyes as she let herself fall back onto bed and rest her head on the pillows, “You’re gonna make me ask, really?”

“I am.” Alex cheekily replied, his smirk only getting bigger at the prospect of having her guess what it was.

From the way he was smiling, Ella had a feeling it had to be about his imminent move to Los Angeles, so she grinned back shyly and softly asked as excitement started brewing in her chest, “Is it about the house?”

“Yes.” He answered with joy, but still steered her into guessing.

So she continued with her guesses, “Have you got it?”

He nodded eagerly before explaining further, “Signed an hour ago and my agent got the keys so yes, it’s all mine now.”

“Fuck off!” Ella gasped and sat back up on her bed, “So you’re moving here for the holidays?” Tour was meant to finish mid November in South America so that’d mean that he was gonna be moving to LA just in time for the holidays and that made her incredibly nervous to think about.

But Alex shook his head and clarified, “Moving in this weekend actually.”

The notion had Ella breathless and wide-eyed. “What?!” Ella stuttered when she managed to stop holding her breath in shock. He was moving in that very weekend and all she’d done the past week since she’d last seen him was sob over some stupid paparazzi pictures of him and his ex.

“Yeah, well, our last festival this month is tomorrow so I’d be flying over to LA on the 26th and moving in until we have to go back on tour on the 2nd.” Alex explained easily. He’d bought his ticket back to LA with the rest of the group only a few minutes before and the first person he had to tell was Ella.

“Wait, so you’re coming back in two days?” Ella was truly shocked at this all, she kept blinking as if wanting to properly wake herself up because it all just didn’t feel real.

Alex flashed her a toothy smile, “We all are. Bought our tickets about ten minutes ago.” Seeing her getting even more surprised by that information made him want to coo out loud, she was so cute. He wanted to kiss her face over and over and over again.

“Holy shit.” Ella muttered under her breath, getting up from bed and walking towards her dresser to actually start getting ready to go to work.

The singer chuckled at her but attentively watched her every move on the screen as he continued, “And I’m gonna have everyone over on Saturday for a housewarming party.”

Ella nodded, her throat becoming dry at the thought of only having four days to mentally prepare to see him in person again after the torment she’d kept to herself. She had no idea how she’d be able to hide it from him in person, it was already hard to hide it from him through texts and facetime. But in person? She could only hack acting okay for an hour maybe, there was no way she could play it off for a whole afternoon.

“Right. Let me know if you want me to take anything. Is it gonna be like Matt and Bre’s?” She asked just to be prepared for who she’d have to hide from. If it was just the lads and the girls then it’d be tricky but at least she’d have Breana to lean onto and she’d feel more comfortable.

Her heart stopped when Alex shook his head and said, “A bit bigger. Steve and Davey are flying in with us so Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, is gonna be there too. Miles is gonna come as well and some other friends we have in the city.” He took a pause to think about the list he’d written down inside his mind and he added, “Oh, Josh is coming too and I think Alexa is coming over too.”

At the mention of that name, Ella felt herself go cold and pale. She was so glad she’d decided to move off camera as she went to grab a pair of jeans just as he said that.

“Darling?” Alex asked with a frown when he didn’t hear a thing coming from her.

Ella took a few deep breaths as she tried not to burst out crying, the wound she’d been opening up more and more with her overthinking for the past week felt like it had started bleeding all over again and she was trying her best not to cry in pain.

Clearing her throat, she rose back up and appeared on the screen. She kept her head hanging low so he wouldn’t see her failed attempt of a smile, she lifted her jeans up and chuckled dryly before excusing herself with, “Sorry, was getting my clothes for work.”

His eyes went wide when he realized he had once again forgotten about time zones and the fact that it was a Tuesday morning. “Shit, darling. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you and make you late for work.”

She finally looked up and waved him off, “You actually helped ‘cause I’m pretty sure I snoozed my alarm.” Moving out of frame, Ella started changing and she was so glad she could use the excuse of getting changed for him not to complain about her not showing her face like he always did when she tried to hide from him. “Miles and Josh are coming?” She asked first, feeling like him mentioning Alexa first was the best opening she’d get to ask about it without having to risk her heart.

“Yeah, you know Miles wouldn’t miss this one after not being able to come to Matt’s. And Josh has been trying to convince me to move over here since we met him back in the Humbug days.”

Ella chuckled as she pulled the jeans up her legs and buttoned them up, “That’s a long while he took to convince you.”

Alex hummed, “Well, he wasn’t the one to convince me in the end.” He hoped she’d get what he was trying to say, his smirk was a clear sign that he meant she was the sole reason he decided to finally do it.

But Ella wasn’t looking at her phone, she was staring at herself in the mirror and giving herself a quick mental pep talk as she geared up to ask, “You said Alexa is coming too? Alexa Chung?”

“Ah yes.” Alex nodded, “Bumped into her in New York the other day and we were chatting for a bit. I told her I was moving here soon and she said she was due a visit to LA so I should let her know if I was doing anything once I got the house.” He hoped he was playing it cool because in all honesty, most of the talk he’d had with Alexa was about how he was trying to get the house as soon as possible to finally be able to get things moving in the right direction with Ella.

“Oh, right. Right.” Ella said casually, like she wasn’t trying to figure out if Alexa had said that as a friend or if she’d been flirting.

“She’s excited to meet you, you know?” Alex continued, unaware of how Ella was struggling to take in the new information, “She’s seen your pictures and she loved them. Think she said something about wanting you to take her pictures, she loved the ones you took at Katie’s last year. Said you were brilliant.”

Deep breathe in and out. Ella tried not to think about how it’d be to not only meet her in four days but make peace with the fact that anything she would’ve hoped to have with Alex would also be gone in four days.

“I’m sure we can arrange something on Saturday.” Ella hoped she sounded like she was smiling, but the mirror reflected a wince instead of a grin and she wanted to scream at herself for being so pathetic.

She walked back into frame, watching Alex take one last drag of his cigarette and toss it to the ground. A pang of hurt flooded her system and she smiled sadly knowing that she’d soon lose all of this, purely because of her inability to just speak and make herself vulnerable to take a chance on it.

“Sweets, I unfortunately gotta go now but I’m so fucking happy for you and I really can’t wait to see you this weekend.” Despite the hurt, the love she felt for him shined through and it showed on her face. On her eyes shining as she watched him smile at her, on the sweet grin she offered him.

“Me too darling. I’ve missed you way too much.” Alex admitted with a loopy smile. He almost could already feel her arms around him as he clutched onto her when he’d see her next. Just a few more days and he could have her by his side again. And hopefully his plan would work out and he would be able to kiss her again, and again, and again. “Love you. I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you.” Ella replied, a hint of sadness behind the words, like she was mourning the loss of its actual meaning already. The loss of the opportunity to let him know how he’d driven her mad, and how she’d been so close to just risking everything in hopes he felt the same way. “See you soon.”

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Ella had been incredibly thankful that she’d gotten ahead of herself with her workload those three days she was back at the office because on Tuesday, after Alex’s call, she’d barely been able to concentrate enough to finish what she’d left halfway done on Monday.

She’d been frantically texting Breana all day, not knowing what to do with the fact that Alexa was meant to show up on Saturday along with everyone else. How could she even keep her emotions at bay when she was gonna be there too? It was impossible, and if it was any other case, she’d avoid the event altogether but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t because not only would Alex get suspicious and she’d feel like she would be letting him down, she wanted to know straight away if anything between the singer and the model were to happen.

Breana had let Ella talk all about it when she called her as soon as she got back home from work. The model had only a bit of time to talk to her best friend before she had to leave to see the band take on the stage of Summerfest to end the opening night of the festival with a ninety minute long set.

But before she could go, Bre left Ella with a few questions that she’d be pondering an answer to for the next twenty four hours.

“What if nothing happens between them on Saturday?” The model started saying after Ella had gone on a rant about what she’d have to do once Alex took Alexa back the day of the housewarming party. “What are you gonna do if there’s nothing going on there? Are you gonna waste another opportunity?”

“I doubt nothing will happen, Bre.” Ella sighed, rubbing her face in exhaustion. She needed her brain to stop for a bit so she could rest from the worries that filled her insides with dread.

Bre scoffed, “He said he bumped into her and they chatted about him moving to Los Angeles. How’s that a sign of them getting back together?”

“I don’t know, okay?!” Ella said loudly, wincing when Breana’s face fell at the volume and hostility of her response. “M’sorry. God, I’m so annoying. I’m sorry, I’ll stop bothering you with the same thing. I promise I’ll stop.”

“I just want you to stop with the bullshit.” Breana said frankly, “Stop with the stupid theories and the lack of security on where you stand with him. Alex doesn’t ever stop talking about you, he always has you in mind when even the smallest things happen. He smiles like a fucking fool whenever you text him and I know he’s texting you because I ask him every time and it’s always you. This is their fourth festival since Bonnaroo and I bet he’s going to say it doesn’t compare to Tennessee like he’s said with the other three before.”

Ella just stood there silent as she took in every word Breana said, the model took her silence as a sign to continue, “And why are you even waiting until Saturday for?! We all land tomorrow night and he’s going to his new house straight away so he’ll most likely be getting everything ready on Friday. You’ve got all of Friday to go see him and try your luck. You just gotta do it, Ellie.” In Breana’s mind, this was Ella’s chance and it would be such a shame to miss it, “Just go and tell him on Friday, spare you the hurt and the stress of waiting until Saturday for something—which isn’t fucking happening, by the way—to happen.”

There hadn’t been a chance for Ella to reply since Kelly and Katie came by the trailer to get Breana out and take her to the balcony since the guys were about ten minutes away from taking over the stage. Ella had to put on a smile and say a quick hello and goodbye to the girls she also missed tons, and then pretend like the call ending didn’t mean she was gonna go crazy with her own thoughts for the rest of the night.

Ella had fallen asleep thinking about every word Breana had said and she woke up to the same internal debate she’d been having all night. Would it be better if she just got it out of the way? If she’d just told him and have him let her down easy if he didn’t reciprocate. Have the chance to avoid seeing everyone on Saturday if it meant what she was dreading was actually happening, to start distancing herself before the damage was irreparable, to give herself a head start on the pain it’d bring her to lose everything that came with Alex.

There was a point during Thursday where everything changed from being unsure of telling him to knowing it was the right thing to do and it might’ve been the fact that he texted her, right as she was packing everything up to leave the office and head back home, to let her know that he was boarding his flight and it’d only be a matter of hours before they were in the same city.

She figured it was her lack of patience and the overwhelming need for answers that flipped the switch inside her. There was no chance she’d let this opportunity pass and she’d just have to deal with the consequences when the time came. She just needed to stop being afraid and face whatever would come with the strength she knew she could find inside herself.

For fucks sake, she’d been cheated on twice in her life already and she’d come out of the other end alive and well. And she’d survived it. What would another heartbreak do to her? Probably break her, realistically, but there was no way of knowing if she didn’t do what she needed to do.

Her appetite was gone by the time she finished cooking herself dinner but she’d tried eating as she watched a movie and it had worked to eat most of her plate. But she was fully spent by ten in the evening so she quickly washed the dishes and got herself ready for bed.

It wasn’t until she went to grab her phone from her coffee table that she realized Alex had texted her about half an hour before, her heart hammered inside her chest as she read what he’d sent.

(26/06/2014 21:43) Just landed and we’re waiting for our bags! Seeing the new house very soon. Do you want pictures or would you like a proper tour when you come? Cannot wait to see you darling xxxx

His words made her giggle like a fool, she bit her bottom lip as she went over his message again and walking back to her room, she threw herself on her bed and typed a response.

(26/06/2014 22:18) Think I’ll endure a few more days of intrigue and take you up on an actual house tour on Saturday. I missed you sweetness, can’t wait to hug you!! xxx

Ella couldn’t believe he was back in Los Angeles again, and she fell asleep with a grin on her face and her phone in hand as she waited for him to reply. A reply that she wouldn’t see until she woke up the next morning.

(26/06/2014 23:36) I’ll have you come earlier on Saturday then, give you proper time to take it all in. It’s cosy here, I think you’d really like it. You’ve no idea how much I just wanna have you here already and give you a cuddle. Love you darling xxxxx

As she got ready for work, she kept reading and rereading the message. Breana’s words echoing inside her mind as her gaze went over the text again and again.

It was Friday and this was it. It was the one day she could just get it over and done with, and it hurt thinking of treating the love she felt for him like a burden that she had to try and strip off herself as soon as she could, but it was for her own good. To know where she stood, to deal with what he was gonna choose to do.

But knowing what she’d decided to do and having to endure a full work day with it in mind had her going crazy. Every time Lydia would come in to check things with her, she was half distracted and had to ask the PA to repeat herself. She felt awful for it but she couldn’t help it, and she’d apologized for it multiple times.

By the time she came back from her lunch break and she’d been trying to properly answer emails for an hour, Ella called it a day and left. Ben and Aaron got a hasty apology for her early leave that they waved off, and they watched her all but run out of the office with confused looks on their faces.

Ella was just driving. She had no idea where she was going because after twenty minutes on the road, she knew it wasn’t the way back to her house, but she kept driving until she realized she’d taken the 101 freeway up to Hollywood Hills.

She made a quick detour when she knew she’d been driving the way to Matt and Bre’s, knowing Alex’s new house was a few minutes away from there. It would be bad if she went there empty handed, and she really needed an excuse to ease into whatever the conversation would turn out to be.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! She cursed over and over in her mind as she got off the freeway onto Hollywood Boulevard and went to the first grocery store she could find.

Two bottles of Pinot Noir later, Ella rushed back into her car and pulled up Alex’s new address—luckily he’d sent it to her with days in anticipation for her to know how much time it’d take her to get there on Saturday.

Merely fifteen minutes it took her to finally pull up into Alex’s driveway and when she put her car in park, her hands started shaking. She really had to clutch tightly onto the necks of the wine bottles not to drop them, one on each hand with her bag forgotten somewhere inside her car. In the haste to walk up to his front door she’d just grabbed her car keys and the wine bottles.

After having come all the way there, Ella rushed herself to ring the doorbell. There was no fucking way she was going to psych herself out of it when she was already there. Though going back inside her car and dashing back home to drink the wine alone as she cried over how much of a pussy she was being deep inside sounded very tempting.

But there was no chance for her to decide on taking that route for the front door opened and a sweaty and surprised Alex greeted her with the biggest of smiles.

Despite the house coming furnished for him to move in straight away, Alex had spent the entire day making it feel like home. Taking it upon himself to do some cleaning around and putting some clothes away that he knew he’d have to pack up again to leave back on tour, but he’d wanted to feel settled already.

As he’d been filling the drawers of his dresser with trousers and jeans, he remembered there were many things he needed to go through with his plan of the perfect way to finally tell Ella everything, and so he’d left his suitcase half unpacked and gone to the grocery store to buy everything he’d need to cook her a lovely dinner.

He knew he was going to try cooking her favorite pasta, making it a candlelit dinner and just giving it the old romantic fool to pour his heart and soul out for her. Like she deserved to get after all this time. There was no way he was leaving her again without properly trying to push their relationship in the direction he’d been longing for so long.

And Alex was planning on doing it all tonight, to give her a call and ask her to please join him that night, he was thinking he would probably tell her to come over a day early to give her that tour he’d promised. If he wanted this to work out, it couldn’t be hours before everyone else was due to come over.

But it seemed like she had beat him to it, bringing wine with her as well.

“Ella!” His eyes were wide and so was his toothy grin. Seeing her in front of him again flooded his system with relief, a feeling that escaped him when he saw the color drain from her face and the clear anxiety on her face. “Hi, darling. I wasn’t expecting you here today. Y’alright?”

Damn him and his ability to read her so easily. She stumbled through her thoughts, shaking her head and taking half a step backwards as she said, “Sorry, I-” What was she meant to say? How would she even begin the conversation?

Her gaze fell down to the wine bottles and she remembered why she’d gotten them in the first place, “Ermmmm, are you busy? I brought a gift…” She looked up at him and gave him a smile, moving the bottles up and showing them to him.

The joy she felt when seeing him in person just a few feet away from her was genuine, and she thought that was why he hadn’t questioned it. Alex gave her a tooth rotting sweet smile as he cooed, “Ah you’re so sweet.” and waved her inside, opening the front door wider and inviting her inside the new place, “Come in.”

Ella’s stomach flipped at the thought of what was about to happen and suddenly the excuse of bringing the wine as a gift felt like a mistake. “Actually, I–” She wanted to be sick. All the words she had been thinking about saying for the past twenty four hours rose up her throat and she was trying to hold back the impending word vomit.

“Fuck.” She cursed under her breath as she only took a few steps inside the house. There wasn’t even a moment for her to take in the beauty of the place since the second she heard the door closing behind her, she turned to Alex and gave him an awkward smile to let him know, “Erm, I wasn’t planning on staying long.”

His brows shot up and he smirked, amused at the sudden change in behavior. He still found her so fucking endearing, she was like a little mouse trapped in a corner by a predator. “You just drove over an hour to bring me a bottle of wine and leave me to drink it alone?” He knew the traffic must’ve been awful on the way here, and he wasn’t letting her go without getting an explanation for the way she was acting.

A few beats of silence passed before she answered, “Yes?” the inflection of her voice going up so her affirmation sounded like a question.

If she wasn’t gonna say it without being explicitly asked, then fine, he would ask. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She hastily replied, way too fast to appear normal. She winced, holding her breath for a few seconds before reiterating, shaking her head and chuckling dryly at herself, “Nothing! Sorry, this is stupid.”

“Ella.” Alex said a bit more sternly then, “What’s going on?”

Her eyes met his and she watched the determination he had to get an answer. She couldn’t turn back anymore, there was no chance she could lie her way out of this one, to give him some white lie that he’d believe was the reason for her awkwardness.

It was right then, it just had to be done. Taking a deep breath, she started, “Okay, erm… I gotta tell you something.” Alex frowned and opened his mouth to speak but she got ahead of him and pleaded with him, “But please let me finish before you say anything, okay?” She would burst out crying and lose her ability to speak if he was to cut in the middle of the flood of words that she knew was coming soon.

But the singer was starting to worry and his amused smirk was long gone, exchanged for a deep frown and distress clear in those brown eyes of his, “What’s happened?”

“Alex.” Ella said in a sigh, begging silently for him to do what she was asking for. Before she could make a run for the door and escape, leaving it all a mess behind her.

Alex pressed his lips together and nodded, “Sorry, go on.”

“No, don’t apologize.” She was the one to frown this time, her chest felt so tight and it was getting uncomfortable. “Okay, fuck.” Every word she’d rehearsed was slipping away from her mind, and in its place a knot of thoughts stayed. Knot that if she didn’t manage to untangle in the next minute, she’d start crying out of frustration at herself. “Wait.”

Alex nodded, willing to wait as she gathered herself to start saying whatever it was that was bothering her. He had no idea what it was but he was already thinking of ways to help her. There were only so many solutions he could come up with when he didn’t know the situation, “Is everything okay? What can I do? Do you need my help with anything?”

“No. I–” She started, but before she could continue trying to ask for some more time to think about it, Alex spoke again.

“Then what’s wrong, darling?” It was so sickeningly sweet, the way he walked up closer to her and reached his hand out to grab hers, the way his brows furrowed even more but that look in his eyes prevailed, the one that she’d started to read like something close to devotion.

She couldn’t get a grasp on her logic anymore, and her words escaped her in a loud manner that made him freeze in his place, “I’m tired!”

Alex was beyond confused, a quiet “What?” leaving his lips in a split second.

But Ella’s eyes started filling up with tears when she continued, “I’m so exhausted from this, Alex!”

Completely forgetting what he’d promised just a few seconds before, Alex went ahead and tried to ask for an explanation, “What do you–?”

Ella interrupted him before he could finish the question, giving him the explanation he was looking for with a passion that burned her insides, “This! All of this! The cruel back and forth that leaves me confused.”

She just needed to let it all out now, and that she’d do. Not that she could control the way her mouth moved ahead of her brain, words leaving her before she could even process her own thoughts, “I don’t want you to go again because I feel like my heart’s being ripped out of my chest every time and, fuck, I’m in love with you and I was so close to telling you that after the festival but then you had to leave. And then just two days later, you’re seen with Alexa in New York and everyone is talking about how ‘the IT couple is back’ and mentioning me in some stupid article just to completely disregard me like I’m some disposable thing to you, so that they could go on and on about you and her.”

Her voice broke by the end, remembering everyone’s excited words when it came to talking about the possibility of them two getting back together. She hated it, she really hated how badly it got her so she let it out too, “And I hate it! I fucking hate it! ‘Cause I just want you to be around but you can’t and it fucking hurts. All the damn time. But I’m never brave enough to just fucking tell you.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks, hot trail from the corners of her eyes down to her neck, she ignored them as best as she could to continue with her rant, “But now you’ve moved here and it’s too real, and I was scared of letting you know how stupidly in love I am with you but I just can’t lose you to somebody else again.”

She huffed as she shook her head, like a child showing her determination on the matter, “So I have to risk it. I have to risk getting rejected, ruining our friendship, losing you entirely and I–”

A sob managed to rip through her at the thought of this being the last time she’d see him, of everything ended like this, “I don’t wanna lose you but I can’t keep it to myself any longer. And I’m sorry but I just–” The words tangled on the tip of her tongue then, the avalanche of words abruptly ending after all of that.

Alex was breathless, his chest heaving as he stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth agape and his throat dry. He could barely muster the soft, “Ella, I–” he let out.

But he didn’t say anything else, he just stared at her with his brows furrowed like he was confused and it all dawned on her.

It had been such a mistake to do it like this, she’d needed to think it through properly and not throw herself into it as if she had a way with words, as if she could make it cute and nice and enchant him with an improvised speech.

It had been a mess and it was all fucking ruined. “No. Don’t.” She shook her head, not even wanting to meet his gaze anymore. “Oh fuck, this was so stupid.” She wanted to hit her head against the wall, to smash the bottles she was still holding in her hands, “I’m so stupid.” She cried out loud before shaking her head again and sniffling, breathing deeply and trying to swallow the knot in her throat.

She managed to look up, the singer looked blurry through her tear filled eyes. She was glad she couldn’t really make up his face then so she took a step up to him and pushed the bottles towards his chest, “This is pathetic. Just take the wine.” But he didn’t even try to make the effort to receive the bottles so pressed her lips together as she silently cried even more, turning on her heels to walk up to his kitchen island and leave the wine there.

In a hurry, she started walking back towards the front door, shaking her head once again as she tried to think of how badly it had gone but it was all blurry. Yet, Alex’s silence was enough to know it had gone terribly wrong.

“I’ll see you on Sunday if you even wanna keep me on the guest list.” She mumbled, almost by the door, but he quickly walked up to her, his hand stretching out to what she thought was opening the door for her. She watched the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and she cried to herself again in frustration. How could it have gone so wrong? “Sorry. You probably were busy, doing stuff and–”

But instead of his fingers wrapping around the handle of the door, they wrapped around her wrist to turn her around, so she could see the wicked smile on his face as he asked, “Why now?”

She was fucking trying not to audibly sob and he was smirking at her? Ella narrowed her eyes as she asked, “Pardon?”

“Why now?” He repeated his question but that smirk only tugged further on the corners of his mouth and that to Ella only meant he was making fun of her. Suddenly, the heartbreak was mixing with rage and all she could do about it was run away. So she tugged away from his grasp, her arm slipping away from his hold but he was fast to catch her wrist again as he sternly said, “No, Ella.”

She thrashed again, trying to pull away from his hold, “Alex, please let me go.” Another wave of tears flooded her eyes.

But he shook his head and he sounded breathless when he replied, “No. Just give me a second.”

Ella scoffed, pulling hard enough to escape his hold again, but this time her gaze was harsher and her words sounded venomous, “Why? So you can let me down easy and send me back home? So you can exchange me for another one of your models like you’ve done before?”

Alex ignored the way her words stung, taking a big step towards her and cupping her neck with his right hand to make her look at him. Her eyes brimmed with angry tears broke his heart and the way she was staring at him with rage that was almost palpable had him pressing his fingers a bit tighter around her neck.

Her mouth opened with a gasp at the pressure and he smirked. His left hand came up to wipe away a tear that rolled down her cheek before it could fall down to rest on her waist, where he clutched her tightly and pressed her against him.

His tongue poked out in between his lips to lick them softly, and he smiled even harder when he saw her gaze fall on his mouth. He was almost drooling at the thought of tasting her mouth again, but this time it’d be so much better with everything out in the open, with his heart out for her to finally take in her hands, because it had been hers for so long she just had to hold it close to her chest.

He shook his head softly, denying the things she’d said were about to happen. He wanted to scream out of happiness, cheer and celebrate finally being able to say it out loud for her to hear, “So I can process that this isn’t just another one of my dreams and tell you that I fucking love you too.”

Without giving Ella a second to properly react to his words, Alex caught her lips between his and their mouths melted in a kiss that contrasted so much to the ones they’d shared before. Because it was raw and with a passion that they’d been trying to hide for so long finally revealed. It was needy and devoted, their fingers clutching onto each other tightly and harshly, almost sure they’d be leaving marks but nothing sounded more fulfilling.

They could finally bare themselves to the other, proudly wear the fact that they were each other’s like a medal. Loud moans slipped from their mouth as the knowledge ringed in their heads. They kissed harder, deeper, running out of breaths.

“Alex…” Ella panted as she pulled back, trying to get some oxygen back in her lungs as fast as she could, the need to have his mouth on hers too intense to even give her body what it needed to survive.

All she needed was him. Only him.

“Ella…” Alex whispered back, his forehead pressing against hers with his eyes closed, just taking in the proximity—the way they were taking each other’s breaths, the brush of their noses as they gasped for air.

“Don’t stop.” She begged, her eyes opening to see him and plead with them as well as with her words, “Please.”

His eyes fluttered open, being met with her green eyes that made him weak in the knees. “Never.” He mumbled back. She had him entirely at his mercy, he would do anything she asked and more.

Alex pounced on her lips again with desperation. He leaned in, sucking the air out of her mouth, licking away any remaining sanity. Her lungs burned. Greedy, his hands fell down her body until he grabbed her ass. He gave it a harsh squeeze, eliciting a moan out of her, before clutching the backs of her thighs and swiftly picking her up off the ground.

A squeal fell from her lips when he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips quickly. She whimpered at the feeling of his hardening cock brushing her already aching core. He walked backwards blindly, cursing under his breath as she rolled her hips into him, begging for friction. She let a delighted giggle out, kissing him harsher.

Ella’s arms wrapped around his neck, fingers running up his hair and pulling on the longer strands. She swallowed the groan that rumbled through his chest at the feeling of her nails scratching his scalp and tugging his hair. His steps got quicker then and he only stopped when he felt the edge of the settee against the back of his legs.

Sitting down carefully, he settled on the settee with Ella straddling him. His growing bulge was even more obvious then, and she let her legs spread a bit more so she’d be deliciously pressed against his hardness.

“Fuck, Ella,” was his first reaction, breathy and solemn from his lips. She nodded, finding his mouth again, already addicted.

The brush of his tented jeans on her clothed clit felt heavenly, her own denim shorts only adding to the way the friction was making her increasingly dizzy. She had to break the kiss to gasp loudly. A cheeky grin teased his mouth, only to be wiped away for a moan as she rolled her hips. His hands dug at her thighs, encouraging her, guiding her.

Ella tried to catch her breath, but it was knocked out of it at the sight of Alex. Pupils blown, lips swollen, hair disheveled. They were panting, both stuck with the dilemma of not knowing if they should elongate the moment or hurry to the point they had been waiting so long for.

It had been barely eleven days since that cowboy party, and not even once had Alex stopped thinking about it. Not when he closed his eyes and he could still feel her fingers all over his body, the way she pressed against him and taunted him with the move of her hips, the taste of her lips and her tongue and the bruises she sucked on his skin.

But now he finally had her, and his expression which had been contorted in utter pleasure softened for adoration. He brought his hand up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek right after. She leaned into his touch with a loopy smile, kissing his palm, her hips slowing down to an unhurried pace.

“You’re so beautiful.” The words came out soft, his breath hitting her parted lips as he leaned in again and they met in the middle for another kiss.

She cupped his jaw and wrapped an arm around his neck, pushing herself flush against him as she followed the pace he’d set for the dizzying kiss they were sharing. Her hips picked up speed again, making them moan into each other's mouth.

His quiet whimpers and moans were driving her mad. She just couldn’t wait to hear him properly, once and for all, coming undone for her.

Alex grabbed a handful of her ass, kneading her flesh harshly with his fingers, making her roll her hips rougher against him. Her mouth went slack at the pleasure rippling through her.

“Shit.” Ella shuddered, letting her head drop and moaning into his neck. She started a trail of sloppy open mouthed kisses there, her hands working through the buttons of his shirt until it was completely open and she had more skin to kiss.

She went back to kiss his lips first, but she rushed through it. Now that she had all that skin available, she was going to make sure to mark every inch of him so everyone knew he was hers.

She made her way down his jaw, his neck and even going behind his ear, enjoying a certain spot that had him bucking his hips up and breathlessly moaning. It wasn’t until she was sucking the skin on his collarbone that she knew she’d hit the jackpot. When she started marking up the place at the base of his neck, he let out a loud groan that made her smile.

She let go of the skin there, giving the soft red mark a peck to then look up at him, “You liked that, yeah?” Her smirk was big and proud on her face, already enjoying the way he’d become putty in her hands this easily.

“Yes. Fuck, Ella, I like everything you do to me.” Her hips rolled once more, him meeting the movement by thrusting upwards. “Especially that. God, darling, I fucking love it.” She chuckled, quicking her pace.

She peppered kisses on his collarbone again, smirk brushing his skin. “And do you love that?” She teased, trailing a hot tongue on his red skin. His chest rose and fell against her mouth.

“Yeah, but–” She nipped gently at his skin and he jumped, thrusting up into her. “Shit. But–” Ella hummed, encouraging him to go on like her wicked tongue wasn’t actively doing the contrary. Finally, Alex grew desperate, missing the feeling of her lips on his so he grabbed her by the neck, calloused fingers pressing tightly on its sides to pull her back up to meet his mouth.

Teeth clashed, as the air grew hotter around them, the kiss was messy and the smacking of their wet lips echoed inside his living room. Their hips went faster, meeting in the middle every time with a growing desperation, looking for relief until she stopped.

Ella hummed into his mouth before breaking the kiss again, “Let’s go to your room.” She needed more, so much more than just dry humping him over their clothes.

Her suggestion was met with an eager Alex, who wasted no time grabbing her by the ass and rushed through the hallway to go up to his room. Her smile was impossibly wide, he could feel it on his neck where she was hiding, leaving a few pecks as he walked up to the bedroom.

Alex didn’t even know how he had gotten to his room so quickly, barging through the door but taking his time to set her on the bed softly. And their lips met once again, it was a bruising kiss filled with urgency.

Yet, for the first time in their lives, they were in no danger of running out of time.

They’d finally said the words they’d been wanting to say and heard the ones they’d been waiting to hear. They had all the time in the world. Every minute of every day for as long as they wanted, and just from the way they were kissing, it seemed like forever was the only option.

Ella’s legs wrapped around his waist after Alex took her shoes off blindly, and she dug her feet on his ass to make his hips press against her throbbing cunt once more. He started rolling his hips then, thrusting into her and the kiss only got sloppier. She was growing breathless as he pressed his hardening cock against her clothed clit. Their moans grew louder, needier.

His hands started wandering, going from cupping her face down her neck and chest until they rested on each side of her waist. His fingers started fiddling with the edges of her shirt and they snaked beneath the fabric of it, slowly lifting it up. “This okay?” He asked, out of breath. She didn’t answer; instead, she pushed herself up enough for him to take it off her with ease.

The piece of clothing was lost somewhere on his bedroom floor, thrown away carelessly as his entire focus was on admiring her figure, exposed all for him.

Her black bra hugged her tits perfectly and when she let herself fall back down on the bed, they looked as if they were about to spill out of the bra. If Ella had anticipated her confession would’ve ended in this, she would’ve worn something much nicer—she cringed at the thought of the plain and simple black thong she was wearing—but it didn’t matter to Alex for he was jaw dropped at the sight of her.

“Fucking hell,” He mumbled before dipping his head to kiss a path over the valley of her breasts, his tongue coming out to lick her skin in a painfully slow pace. Her back arched as she moaned when he bit on the top of one of her tits. She got louder and squirmed even more when he repeated his actions on the other one.

“And this is all mine?” Alex asked breathlessly, eyes now on hers and she nodded with a loopy smile, her cheeks flushed from everything that was happening. “I’m so lucky.” He couldn’t wait to see her naked, to devote himself to giving every inch of her the attention she deserved.

His hand snaked between her back and the mattress, and there he found the clasp of the bra. With apt fingers he undid it and slowly peeled off the piece of clothing off Ella’s body. His breath hitched at the sight of her bare chest, her hardened nipples making his mouth water. “You’re killing me. You’re actually trying to kill me.” She flushed slightly, secretly pleased.

He couldn’t wait any longer to have his mouth on them. Flattening his tongue, he dipped his head to give a bold lick to one of her nipples, pointing the tip of his tongue to start flicking it. Ella squirmed beneath him, whimpering and moaning at the taunting touch. Her hand came to cradle his head, moving slowly up until she could tangle her fingers in his hair just as he latched his lips around her nipple and started sucking eagerly.

“Shit, Alex.” Ella managed in between gasps as he alternated between sucking and flicking.

He smirked at the sight of her, wanting to ruin her even more. So he let go of her nipple with a pop before he bit it.

A mewl fell from her lips at the pain his teeth inflicted on her sensitive nipple, her hips rolled in search of relief but he had her pinned down with the way his body was resting on top of her. She needed more of him, her cunt throbbed and leaked with arousal with everything he did.

“Alex!” And it came out as half a beg, half an order. Alex nodded against her, undeterred. Her need for more only got more intense when he started sucking bruises on her tits, biting and sucking and drinking in all the sweet sounds she let out as the pain of his abuse on her skin sizzled into dizzying pleasure.

“So good for me,” he promised. “Taking it all.” His tongue came to lick the blooming love bites, pecks on top of sore skin before he moved onto her other tit. Smirking proudly when she was just as responsive to his actions as she had been before. “So pretty. The best fucking girl with the best fucking tits.”

And he wouldn’t stop until she was whining in a high pitch. The sounds she made were music to his ears, only wanting to keep getting them out of her, “Alex. More. I need more.” She managed in between moans. She was clenching around nothing and it frustrated her, she loved what he was doing to her but she had a half mind to take over everything and let herself have her way with him just like she wanted already.

“Say please,” he singsung.

Desperate, “Please.”

“Soon,” Alex breathed, continuing his tantalizing trail of kisses and half hearted bites down her chest and stomach, smirking as he watched her through his lashes. Ella huffed and pushed him off her. He fell onto his back and she wasted no time to straddle him.

His shirt was still messily on him, barely hanging on his shoulders and becoming a burden more than anything. She grabbed onto his collar to pull him up until he sat on the mattress. Once his chest was pressed flush against hers, Ella pushed the shirt off him and tossed it behind her onto the floor.

Alex watched the way her eyes darkened with lust and mischief, a wicked smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth as her fingers moved slowly up his chest, brushing his shoulders and neck until she cupped his jaw with both her hands and pressed her lips on his. “My turn,” she said gleefully, kissing him again. Alex laughed, though indulged her.

Feeling his bare chest under her fingertips as she licked into his mouth made her patience run thin, she couldn’t keep kissing him without continuing to bruise his skin. The sight of the bruises she’d left on his neck a few minutes before made her mouth water with the need to leave more.

Ella got drunk off the whimpers and shaky moans Alex let out as she sucked harshly on his skin, his hips bucking every time she sunk her teeth into his flesh. He was a mess, clawing at the sheets as she abused his skin, and she fucking loved it. “I want to ruin you,” she revealed.

“Yeah?”

Making her way down with wet open mouthed kisses, she got right below his navel where his happy trail started and came down until it disappeared beneath his clothes. She licked a bold strip up the hair there, smirking when he cried out in pleasure and thrusted upwards so his bulge hit her tits.

“I want you to fucking beg.”

She left more kisses along the edge of his jeans, making him bite on his bottom lip to stop himself from being too loud. But that was exactly what she wanted, so she latched onto a patch of his skin there and started sucking harshly until his fingers came to tangle in her hair and pulled her off him.

He would definitely cum in his pants if she continued teasing him like that.

“Do you trust me?” She asked sweetly, batting her lashes at him. Putting on the innocence act to have him say yes to what she wanted to do. Not that she needed it, because he’d do anything she wanted now that he had her like this.

His mind was a mess and his words failed him so he only nodded. She tutted and shook her head as she started crawling up his body until their noses brushed and they couldn’t look anywhere else but into each other’s eyes.

“Words, baby.” She whispered, her voice low and sultry making him groan before nodding again.

This time his nod was accompanied by, “I do. I trust you.”

Ella hummed in satisfaction, and she turned her head slightly to the side to kiss the palm of his hand, which was still holding her head with his fingers tangled in the strands of her hair.

But for what she wanted to do, she needed him to drop his hold on her. So she held onto his wrist to pull his hand away and she peeled herself off and away from him.

His gaze followed her intently as she got off the bed and stood at the side of it, slowly undoing the button and zip of her shorts and pulling them down, making a whole show of undressing that only made Alex grow achingly harder inside his jeans.

His breath hitched in his throat seeing her like that, almost entirely bare for him. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered. She grinned. She swayed her hips a little as she hooked her fingers on the edge of her underwear and without breaking eye contact, she shed herself of the last piece of clothing that kept herself hidden from him.

Alex whined from the back of his throat. “You’re not real. You were made to be my downfall.”

“Yes,” Ella agreed. To ruin him, to unravel him. Fully naked, she came back on the bed to straddle him again. Her slick core brushed against his bulge over his jeans and she smirked harder at the way he reacted, a whine leaving his lips, hips bucking up as his hands held her hips tightly, pressing her against him and keeping her there as she slowly rolled her hips on him. “I’ll make you fall, Alex.”

“You already have.” She smiled, raking a hand through his hair. His lips part, a quiet moan on his lips.

Ella loved the view she had, Alex fully at her mercy. She just couldn’t believe her luck; after all those years of thinking and fantasizing about it, she could finally have him like this.

“You look so pretty like this.” Her thumb rubbed at his cheek as she cupped it, leaning in until their breaths mixed together. Her fingers slowly moved down his face until she could wrap her fingers around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

Their lips met hungrily again, Alex had her naked on top of him and he wanted nothing more than take his jeans and underwear off and fuck her senseless, but Ella had other plans.

Her lips left his mouth to start kissing all over his face, each peck followed by some type of praise that he was loving. “Beautiful.” Smack. “Talented.” Smack. “Smart.” Smack. “Loving.” Smack. His heart swelled in his chest, the contrast between her shameless lustful behavior and the sweet words she kept uttering had him dazed. “And that nose,” she teased. With one last peck on his lips which Alex tried to elongate, Ella found his gaze and with the sweetest voice, asked him, “Can I ride your pretty face?”

His breath staggered hearing that, his cock twitching in his pants at the thought of what was about to happen. He nodded quickly like he had just a few seconds to answer before the offer was gone, and he added a breathless please when he remembered her telling him to use his words.

That was enough of a greenlight for Ella to push herself up on her knees and start shuffling up his body until she’d been hovering over his face. She would’ve kissed him once more if she wasn’t desperate to feel his mouth on her cunt already, if she wasn’t dripping and throbbing for his touch.

Alex’s lips parted at the sight of her slick cunt practically begging for him to latch his mouth on her. His hands ran up her thighs slowly until he rested them on her hips and he guided her a bit further up on the bed so her knees caged his head in place.

He was almost drooling, already imagining how sweet she’d taste on his tongue. But despite the growing burning need to lick up her folds already, he started kissing up the insides of her thighs, sucking and biting the skin like she now knew he loved to do and making her whimper and squirm in his hold.

There seemed to be no hurry in his mind, repeating the actions in that same agonizing pace on her other leg. By the time he got incredibly closer to her sopping cunt and her legs started to tremble from the teasing, she was ready to tell him off for it. She felt the way his hot breath left from so close to her core, a frustrated whimper fell from her lips.

Just when Ella looked down with a frown and her hand came down to tangle in his hair, he craned his neck up to lick a bold strip up her folds, wrapping his lips around her clit once he licked past her entrance.

He hummed at her taste, using his hands to pull her closer to his mouth just as he taunted, “Come closer, darling. You taste so fucking good.”

Without wasting more time, he started flicking his tongue up and down, her slick already dripping down his chin and mixing with his spit as he lapped and lapped like he was starved.

One of his hands left her hip and came down to her cunt, to spread her open so he could properly suck her clit, the pressure of it making her get louder and start pulling on his hair to bring him closer to her. “Need you. Fuck, Alex, keep doing that.”

He fucking loved it, the reaction only pushed him to getting more out of her. By that point, he was humping the air in search of some kind of relief. Her moans only made him drip in his jeans but he had no time to feel embarrassed at the pace in which he was ruining his pants, not when he had her sweetness all over his face.

He moved down, two fingers spreading her folds as he pointed his tongue and he started dipping it inside her sopping hole. Her back arched, breath hitching in her throat, “Fuck, yes Alex–” She could just keep saying his name as he started fucking her with his tongue, broken gasps and high pitched moans slipped past her lips and only got louder and more desperate when he started moving his head, causing his nose to flick at her clit with every thrust of his tongue inside her.

It was all so much. Not only what he was doing to her but the whole scene, it was so much better than she could’ve ever imagined and as he continued working his tongue in and out of her before lapping up at her arousal only to end up with him flicking and sucking on her clit, Ella was sure she wouldn’t last much longer.

“Oh God, oh God.” Ella rolled her hips on his face, grabbing her own breast and playing with the nipple. Pleasure rushed through her. “Fuck, Alex, you’re–”

The mix of her arousal and his spit was already dripping down his neck by the time he teased one of his fingers into the cunt. His mouth left her clit and the hot breath that came from it along with his gasp as her hole swallowed his finger with ease made her even more of a whining mess. “–Perfect,” she finally finished, though with much difficulty. “You’re perfect.”

He curled his finger inside her before drawing it back and the loss of the slight fullness had Ella crying out loud. So at the same time as he wrapped his lips around her clit again, he pushed two fingers inside her, curling them and making her legs shake and her hips rut as she leaned forward and held onto his headboard with a white knuckled grip.

The feeling of his skilled fingers curling inside her and his mouth sucking harshly on her clit made Ella erratically grind her hips against his face. “Alex! Yes! Yes!” She chanted breathlessly, every one of his actions stealing the breath from her lungs. She felt her orgasm so fucking close, her brain melted and every one of her filthy thoughts left her, “God, I fucking love your mouth! So eager, so greedy. Lapping at me like you’re starved, like you need me. It was made for me. Made to be between my thighs.” A throaty and long hum came from him, that vibrated against her and made her squeal in pleasure.

So he did it again, and again, along with picking up the pace with his fingers. “Made to worship me,” Ella blabbered on, mindless. “All perfect and hot and– Fuck, Alex–” The combination of it all threw Ella over the edge.

Profanities along with his name was all that he could hear from her as she came all over his mouth and face. Despite the tremble of her legs and the stuttering of her hips as she came, he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, not when he looked up at her and saw how fucking stunning she looked as she came. Her chest flushed and her tits bouncing as she rutted on his face, her mouth agape and brows scrunched up in pleasure, hair a mess falling on her shoulder and sticking to the sides of her face as a thin coat of sweat glazed her skin.

Riding out her high with that in mind, Alex kept his unrelenting pace until it made Ella’s knees weak and she had to be the one to pull him away from her cunt before she fell on his face and smothered him.

It wasn’t like Alex wouldn’t say that was the best way to go.

“That nose,” she cursed, shaking her head.

Her chest was heaving as she struggled to shuffle down his body, while he was hypnotized with how good she looked all fucked out. “I want to do that again. And again. And again. For the rest of my fucking life.” Ella chuckled at his words, still shortwinded. “I’m serious. I want that view forever.”

“Oh my– Fuck, c’mere,” Ella wrapped her hand around his neck as she looked at him, her cum all over his face. She hastily leaned in to kiss him and when she tasted herself, a loud moan came from her. It rumbled through her chest and she only got more desperate when she settled her hips on his and felt him rock hard in his jeans.

Her head spinned as a new wave of arousal flooded her system, as if she hadn’t just cum all over his face a few seconds before.

Sticking her tongue out, she lapped at the mess that had dripped down his neck. Lewd noises came from her as she tasted herself on his skin and when she got to his jaw, she wiped his chin with her thumb and brought it up to his mouth for him to suck. A smirk broke on her face when his wet swollen lips wrapped around her finger, eyes rolling back into his head and humming as he tasted the last bits of her arousal.

She admired him for a few seconds, her thumb brushing against his lips while she cupped his jaw and her other hand went up to brush his hair back. “See, I knew you were beautiful but you look even prettier with my cum all over your face.”

His cock twitched in his pants, her praises making him harder than he thought he could get from just words, but she was just so stunning like this, taking complete control over him and making a mess of him. He’d never considered himself submissive but fucking hell wouldn’t he willingly put himself at her mercy every time if that was what she wanted. The filthy words she’d been saying as she rode his face came to the forefront of his mind and he couldn’t help but point out the contrast between them and her sweet praise, it was just like the contrast of her sweet shy self and the Ella he was seeing now.

“God, you couldn’t be more perfect,” he whispered, barely registering the words left his mouth.

His hips bucked once again and his face fell into a pained expression when he brushed against her cunt. Ella pouted at the look on his face, feeling just how fucking hard he was and how he must be aching in those jeans, so she leaned in to peck his lips before saying softly, “Let me take care of you, yeah?” Alex whimpered when she rolled her hips once more as he nodded at her words. Again, she teased, “Words?”

“Please.”

“So polite.” He caught a glimpse of her smirk while she busied herself into kissing down his jaw and neck, down his chest until she was facing his bulge. With deft fingers, she undid the button and tugged down the zip, her fingers hooked on the edge of the denim to start peeling it off him and she smiled when he lifted his hips up to let her take them off him.

Alex was slightly relieved from the partial freedom, sighing as she kissed back up his chest and met his lips once more. But when she started rolling her hips slowly on his again, he knew that she was teasing him and he didn’t know how much of that he could take.

“Ella, please.” He mumbled in a broken moan when her hips rolled again.

Their lips brushed when she asked, “What do you want, baby?” Her hips stopped so he could form a coherent answer to her question.

Alex felt like he would explode at any second, so he just shook his head as he peeled his eyes open and stared into her eyes, “Anything. Just need you, darling.”

Biting her bottom lip, Ella took in every detail of his face. She sighed heavily before kissing him again. Leave it to him to sweet talk her into considering not teasing him and give him exactly what he wanted.

She could find some middle ground, so she enjoyed the slow trail of her mouth kissing down his chest and licking over the bruises she’d left there already. And she especially enjoyed hearing him whimper when she finally got to the band of his boxers and all she did was leave open mouthed kisses along it.

Taking some pity on Alex, Ella thought it had been enough taunting so she brought his boxers down, his hard cock springing free and slapping against his belly. He was swollen and heavy, red tip already leaking so much precum and her mouth watered at the sight, wanting nothing more than to take him in her mouth and gag on it but the need to continue teasing him a bit more was far stronger.

She moved back up to face him and he was about to complain but all the words died in his throat when she grabbed his chin and turned his head to the side so he could face her and said, “Spit in my mouth.” before parting her lips and sticking her tongue out for him to spit on.

“Fucking hell, Ella.” Alex cursed under his breath. He was sure she’d been made for him, this was something he hadn’t seen coming but fucking hell didn’t it make him want to kiss her lips until they were bruised and make her cum over and over until she couldn’t move out of bed. There was this animalistic need to give her everything he could give, until he could satiate the need of her.

Ella rolled her eyes and dug her fingers harshly into his face as if to hurry him and he snapped out of his trance to cup her jaw firmly, spitting into her mouth just like she’d requested. She hummed and closed her eyes in bliss when she felt his warm spit coating her tongue, closing her mouth to swallow it.

“Do it again.” She said, stealing Alex’s air from his lungs all over again, his cock twitching and he felt a bead of precum leaking out of the tip.

He spat in her mouth again but this time she didn’t swallow it, she shuffled down the bed to come back beside his cock and wrap her fingers around it, spitting on it and letting the mixture of her and Alex’s saliva dribble down his length until it hit the duvet.

“You’re filthy,” he whined, and it sounded like a praise.

Her thumb rubbed on the tip of his cock, smearing the precum down his length and starting to stroke him up and down slowly. Her eyes admired the way his cock looked thrusting in and out her fist, throat going dry at the thought of how it’d look like as he fucked her, but then she looked up and saw him already a flushed panting mess and she couldn’t help but stopping her movements to taunt him.

Alex groaned at the loss of the friction her hand brought on him and out of desperation, he started thrusting up into her hand to resume the pleasure that it had brought him. Ella smirked and started moving again, a very slow pace to have him do most of the work. “That’s it, fuck my fist.”

He whimpered, leaking more and more of his salty arousal as his pleasure made him shudder and stop being able to keep his eyes open. All he could think of was cumming, so he picked up his pace, his hips meeting her fist every time he thrusted up, “Oh Ella– Fuck!”

She could only watch him with her mouth agape, almost drooling and her cunt throbbing and clenching around nothing at the sight. She had to press her thighs together to get some kind of alleviation. “Yes Alex, just like that. Is this how you fucked yours huh? Is this how you fucked your fist to my pictures?”

Alex was desperate to orgasm, her statement almost flying past him. His brows furrowed, concentrated in the rhythm he had set for himself but he grew confused as to how she knew that. “Wha– Ah fuck! Who told you that?”

She chuckled at his lack of denial, “Who do you think?” She giggled at herself, finding it amusing that she’d brought this up in such a situation.

A string of profanities left him, as he felt himself growing closer and closer to his orgasm. His hips started stuttering and she tutted, “No, you’re not cumming yet babe.” Her fist left his cock, coming to rest on the mattress and a massive smirk showed on her face when his eyes went wide open and he started complaining.

“But Ella– Please, let me–” He choked on his words when her thumb brushed on his tip again and she brought the finger up to her mouth to suck. “Please, darling. I need it. Need you.”

She hummed, satisfied with his growing desperation and making a show of swiping her thumb over the tip of his cock again and moaning loudly at his taste. He groaned in protest, but she shut him up with a hot kiss, smacking lips and teeth clashing for a minute until she felt him rubbing against her leg, dripping precum over her.

She left him with a peck, moving back down his body and once more, she grabbed his cock. This time not waiting before licking a bold strip from the base to the tip, sucking harshly on the head of his cock before letting it go with a pop when he whimpered loudly, “Tell me how bad you want it.”

He looked down at her and couldn’t do more than just curse under his breath, “Fuck, Ella.” He could bust right then and there just from the view.

Her breathy chuckle hit the tip of his cock and he whined, “That’s the spirit but not what I asked.”

Alex ached and he knew he had to listen to her if he wanted to get anything, “I want you so bad darling, your mouth–”

But Ella was enjoying this way too much so she teased him some more, her words coming out in a sing-song tone, “You’re missing the magic word.”

He rolled his eyes and threw his head back on the pillows, “Please darling, I want to fuck your mouth.”

A snort of laughter came from her, Alex groaned at the sound because he was on the verge of tears and begging for her to do something, anything. “Chivalry is truly not dead after all, huh?” She joked with a stupid smile on her face.

The singer would’ve laughed in any other situation but he was about to lose it, he couldn’t even use his hands because he was fisting the duvet so hard his fingers ached. “Stop teasing, Ella, please.”

She dared him then, “Oh, but I thought you liked teasing?” There was a clear memory of him stating that, and how it’d opened a can of worms that always came to the forefront of her mind when she touched herself to the thought of him.

She smirked again and taunted him by leaving a soft peck on the tip of his cock, making Alex cry out a pained, “Fuck me–”

Still teasing, Ella hummed and played with the meaning of his words in a nonchalant manner, “Maybe in a bit, if you’re good and listen to what I say.”

Despaired now, he didn’t mind begging at all, “I will, I will. I promise baby. Just– Please Ella, I need you. Need you so fucking bad.” The vein on the side of his neck protruded as he spoke in a haste.

Ella was more than satisfied with that and she breathily let him know what had been her plan all along, “Just like that, Alex. I want you desperate.”

And with that she took him in her mouth, inhaling deeply through her nose to take him as deep as she could. When he hit the back of her throat, Alex subconsciously thrusted into her mouth, moaning louder than he had anticipated, making her gag but moan back in response when she drew back enough to take a deep breath.

With her taking him to the back of her throat every time, hollowing her cheeks and bobbing her head up and down relentlessly, he started twitching in her mouth and squirming beneath her in a minute. Ella knew he was close and she would’ve loved to have him paint her throat with his cum but this time she wanted him inside her, to spill in her cunt and drip out of her like she’d fantasized about so many times before, so just as he started gasping and his hips started stuttering, she pulled back and left him hanging over the edge of climax.

“Ella–” He choked out as he felt the coil of pleasure that had been tensing and building up as he’d been buried deep in her mouth completely left him and all that was left was the uncomfortable feeling of a stolen orgasm.

“Wait, sweetness.” She said in an infuriatingly sweet tone, cupping his jaw as she stood beside the edge of the bed and kissing him softly before standing back up and saying, “I want to do something. Stay there.”

She turned on her heels and made her way to his walk-in closet, knowing she would be able to find something there if she were to look for it. But she'd only taken three steps into the room when she heard the movement back in his room. He had painfully sat himself on bed, back against the cold metal rods that formed his headboard, and he’d been debating whether or not to get himself off to relieve himself of the ache that washed over him when her voice hit him like a ton of bricks, a heavy demanding tone behind her words, “If you don’t listen to what I say, you’re not getting a single thing, Turner.”

Alex froze in his spot, his cock twitching at the dominating roll she was taking. He threw his head back and swallowed a groan. He hadn’t even cum and she’d already ruined him, there would never be another one but her.

He waited patiently, a minute passed and all he could hear were the drawers being opened and closed until he saw her come back into the bedroom with one of his ties on her right hand.

She smirked seeing him sitting in bed waiting for her. She cooed like it actually amazed her that he listened and got on the bed again, placing her knees on each side of his hips to straddle him. Her hand came up to cup his jaw and her thumb brushed soft circles on his skin before she praised him with a proud, “Good boy.”

She distracted him with a dizzying kiss, one that he indulged in with feverish eagerness until she pulled back and their lips separated with a smack, the sound was followed by her words which sounded more of a statement than a question, “I’m gonna tie you up, yeah?” He nodded quickly, his brain a mush and unable to even think about what it was that she wanted to do to him tied up to his headboard but he was willing to comply if it meant that she’d make him cum.

He didn’t even have time to complain or ask questions because her tits had been on his face while she tied his wrists avidly to the posts of the headboard and he’d been too busy biting and sucking on them.

She moaned when he caught one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked it. Despite the very nice distraction, she pulled on the knots she so expertly knew how to tie and grinned in satisfaction when seeing them hold his wrists perfectly for her.

Ella sat on his lap, feeling his cock still hard coming to touch her drenched cunt and brought her hand to his face when he hissed at the contact. “I know.” She said softly before kissing him softly and briefly. “Is this alright?” She needed to ask again, to make sure it wasn’t too much since she could see the way his eyes were glazed over with frustrated tears from the edging.

But Alex nodded with a loopy smile that she loved and all she could do was smirk, nothing but a mischievous look in her eyes.

A look that’d get a meaning when she spoke up again, “If you’re cumming anywhere today, it’s gonna be inside me, okay?”

Alex nodded despite the shock her words had given him, his mouth agape in surprise at her bluntness.

Her hand slowly crawled down his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his length, she watched with a parted mouth as he threw his head back at the contact and he muttered under his breath, “Fuck me…”

A bright grin broke on her face and she leaned in to lick his bottom lip before saying, “That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

Alex was left with his mouth parted in search of a kiss but oxygen left his lungs when she pulled back slightly to spit on his cock, her hand starting to pump him a handful of times before she lined him up with her sopping entrance. She knew it would be easy to sink into him with how wet she was and the mess she’d made of Alex.

Just to build on the last bits of anticipation, she brushed his cock up and down her cunt, shivering when he grazed her clit.

“Darling…” Alex breathed out in pain, hidden away in the crook of her neck as she teased his tip in her hole.

She hummed, acknowledging him and finally letting herself sink down on him. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her as her mouth went slack and a soft whimper left her at the stretch of his cock, but his gaze fell down to see where they connected and his eyes rolled back into his skull. He could just cum seeing himself buried balls deep inside her, snugging him so tightly and clenching around him as she slightly squirmed over him when adjusting her balance on her knees.

She cried out in pleasure right as she started moving, rolling her hips tentatively to set a starting pace. But she could barely get a hold of her own thoughts, all that went through her mind was how she could feel every ridge and vein, how he was making her brain melt inside her skull with the way he felt inside her, “Filling me up so good.”

Alex swore he was seeing stars with how she was squeezing him, how good she looked as her hips rolled with an increasing speed that would surely drive him to the edge in no time, “Fuck, you’re so tight–”

With every roll of her hips, her clit pressed against his pubic bone and offered her a delicious pressure that made her eyes roll back. Her gasps and moans got louder as she went faster and the melodies of their pleasured sounds turned into a pornographic harmony when Ella went from rolling her hips to bouncing on his cock.

Her tits bounced as she picked up the pace, her hands resting on his chest for leverage and her hair falling in front of her face as she leaned in and changed the angle slightly. Alex stared at Ella fucking herself on his cock and it was a scene that not even his dreams could amount to. Watching himself disappear inside her over and over, and feeling her slick dripping down his cock and making a mess of the bedsheets had him looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds, willing himself not to cum too fast, to last as long as he could so they could cum together.

“Is this how you imagined?” She teased.

“Better,” Alex swore, too gone to be anything but sincere. “You’re perfect. You’re– I couldn’t have made you up. I couldn’t have ever imagined– God, you’re everything I need, Ella.”

The sound of the skin slapping every time they met was loud so the shit she muttered under her breath was barely audible. Ella slowed down just a bit to stabilize herself with just her left hand on his chest, bringing her right hand up to his neck and wrapping her fingers deftly around it, “I’ve always wanted to do this with you.”

Her fingers pressed on the sides of his neck, choking him just the perfect way. Her ‘Pure Desire’ tattoo adorning his throat. It was a miracle how he didn’t cum from just her doing that, that lustful look on her face as she watched him gasp and choke on a whimper as her fingertips dug on the sides of his neck. It just made Alex want to fuck her harder, and it seemed like it had the same effect on her because she picked up her pace despite the burning of her thighs from the effort.

Alex met her in the middle with every bounce, thrusting his hips up into her and hitting the perfect spot for her. “Right there, right there! Alex!” She was growing breathless, barely able to pick her head up. She was starting to regret tying him up just a little, she wanted him to hold her and help her match his eager thrusts as she got closer to her orgasm.

Digging his heels on the mattress, Alex found the footing to quicken the pace, “Ella– fuck!” He groaned and moaned loudly, his mind reeling when his hearing was entirely overcome by the sounds of the skin slapping and Ella’s mewls and whines.

Ella gasped with every thrust, the coil in her lower stomach tightening impossibly each time he hit that sweet spot inside her and her grip on his neck got tighter as she clenched hard around him. Her legs started trembling more and more and then her orgasm hit her suddenly, blacking out her sight as she shook and spasmed on him, loud cries of his name accompanied the symphony.

Seeing Ella as she came again, hearing how she cried out his name and the way she squeezed his cock with her cunt, Alex came hard inside her. His thrusts became sloppy as he shivered and his cock twitched as he spilled and painted her walls with his cum. His hips stuttered as her tightness milked his cock relentlessly, but he still rocked his hips into her, meeting her slow messy pace as they both came down from their highs.

With her legs trembling, Ella just dropped against his chest, completely fucked off reality for a few minutes. All they could hear was each other’s breathing and their hearts beating in sync as their chests pressed against each other.

She wondered why Alex was keeping his touch away from her when she remembered she’d tied him up so she lifted her head up and brushed her hair back to reach out and undo his restraints with one pull of the end of the tie.

Alex groaned at the feeling of his arms plopping down beside his head, but he ignored the soreness of his limbs when he could finally brush her hair back from where it stuck to her sweaty face and cup her jaw to give her a sweet kiss he’d been craving to give her the whole time she was riding him.

Ella smiled into the kiss when she remembered all that had happened in a matter of a few minutes. She’d lost track of time entirely, not even able to point out how long it could’ve been since she’d showed up at his house to just tell him all that she’d been holding back.

The happiness that bubbled inside her filled her with warmth and a small burst of energy enough to have her peel herself off him to rest beside him in bed. She lifted herself off him and settled to his right with a soft whine at the loss of him. Alex turned to his side and cupped her face once more to give her a quick kiss before he pushed himself up and off the bed with a quick, “I’ll be right back darling.”

He got up and went to his ensuite to clean himself up, flashbacks of what had happened made his cock twitch again. He got a cloth and wet it with warm water, taking it with him to clean Ella up.

Her eyes lazily followed him as he came back into his room and up to her. His hands softly spread her legs out to clean up the mess in between her legs. His cum dripping out of her mixed with her own had Alex biting his bottom lip, a shaky breath out his nose before he cursed out loud, “Fuck me.” She whimpered at the touch of the cloth against her overstimulated center, and he kissed her softly as an apology, being careful to continue cleaning her up until she was rid of it all. He had made a mental note to stuff his cum back in her next time, see it dripping out of her over and over, fuck the cum inside her with his fingers or his cock.

Alex left to go back to the bathroom with that in mind, his blood rushing south again the more he imagined it all. When he went back to bed, he noticed Ella had thrown the ruined duvet on the floor and gotten under the sheets. And when he turned to see her, she made grabby hands at him. He chuckled at the contrast of her behavior throughout the night, but was quick to cuddle her into him.

They snuggled beneath the sheets, their legs tangling together as his arm snaked under her to wrap around her waist and holding her flush against him so she could rest her head on his chest. Throwing her arm across his middle to keep him close, Ella nuzzled her head into his chest and she melted against him.

With Alex rubbing circles on her waist, Ella was starting to fall asleep. It was still light outside, the sun still heating up the ground outside and the bright rays managing their way into the room through the thin curtains that covered the windows, but her eyes grew heavy and her breathing evened out as time passed.

That was until Alex sighed loudly out of the blue and cursed, “Well, fucking hell.”

Ella frowned, confused by his sudden choice of words, “What?”

But Alex had been replaying everything in his mind and he felt himself growing flustered and hotter the more he recalled, “You’re seriously asking what after that?”

She couldn’t help but blush, because how the fuck had she gone from crying and going on and on about how tired she was of silently wanting him yet losing him every time to riding his face, edging him twice to then tie him up and fuck the lights out of him.

So she hid her face behind her hands, not wanting Alex to see her face, which she knew had to be bright red.

“Oh don’t go all shy on me now, darling.” He played with her, a chuckle slipping past his lips. His fingers peeling her hands off her face, only to be followed by littering every bit of her face with kisses until she was giggling and cuddled back into him.

They laid there in silence, dropping sweet kisses and tracing patterns on each other’s skin. It was one of those comfortable silences that they’d developed ever since they grew back together during the recording of AM.

A silence that was shattered by Alex thinking out loud, “Now I know what it feels like…”

She snorted when hearing him trail off like that, because what would that even mean? He wasn’t a virgin. “Huh?” She frowned as she looked up at him, trying to hide her amusement by pursing her lips.

“To be that bull.” Alex simply stated, looking down at her with a growing smirk on his face.

She was even more confused then, “Bull? What bull?”

“The one from that pub when you broke the record.” He explained with an obvious tone in his voice.

Ella burst out laughing at the realization of what he was implying. As if her riding that mechanical bull for three minutes was anything near what they’d done just then. She shoved him by his shoulder, letting herself fall away from his hold still laughing, “Fucks sake Alex, you’re an idiot.”

He hooked his arms around her waist again and pulled her into him again, “What? Thought you were a proud cowgirl?”

But she shook her head in disbelief and hid in the crook of his neck, mumbling a halfhearted “Stop.” on his bruised skin.

“Nothing not to be proud of with how well you ride, darling.” The singer added, to which she pinched his side, making him jump and yelp aloud.

With a frown to conceal her amusement, Ella came out of her hiding place, narrowed eyes to help her threat resonate in his head, “I’m gagging you next time.”

Alex shook his head as he watched a smirk slowly breaking on her face, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Her gaze dropped to his lips, picturing them all wet and swollen, wrapped around a gag, leather belt wrapped around the back of his head and tight on the skin of his face. That was a view she certainly would appreciate, “I’d love it.”

Love. Alex smiled at the word, remembering he finally could tell her, “I love you.” and have her know exactly what he meant.

Ella’s heart was almost bursting at its seams when he said that, saying “I love you.” back to him was the easiest thing she could ever do.

Staring at each other adoringly, a minute or two passed. He twirled a strand of her hair slowly with his fingers, counting each freckle on her skin and taking in every bit of her in this new setting.

“How long have you been holding that back?” He asked curiously, wanting to know how long she’d been agonizingly waiting to let all those words out. His chest hurt when remembering her mentioning the pictures paparazzis had taken of him and Alexa and how she’d implied him going for Alexa just like he’d gone for Arielle two years before.

Ella genuinely asked back, “Wanting to fuck you?”

“No, you dickhead.” Alex replied with a cackle, his giggles falling right behind his words, making her giggle along until he could clarify, “Wanting to tell me you love me.”

“I was in denial for a while.” Ella admitted easily. There was no reason to not be entirely transparent with him anymore and she hoped he felt the same way as she continued, “But as soon as I saw you leave that morning… I was just entirely sure about it the second I woke up.”

He frowned, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

She scoffed softly when just considering how that would’ve happened, “Tell you that over the phone? No chance.” She was so glad it hadn’t been that way, because having him close after having told him everything felt so right and she knew she would’ve cried when he reciprocated and she couldn’t have him beside her right then and there.

Alex hummed, knowing what she meant, “I reckon if you’d told me when I was away, I would’ve cried not being able to kiss you right then and there.”

“Exactly.” Ella said, slightly wide eyes at the way it just felt like he’d read her mind. But before she could forget, she asked him, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

With an embarrassed smile on his face, Alex shyly replied, “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.”

She sighed, smiling at their own foolishness. Both of them were concerned about the same thing and instead of speaking about it, they kept it to themselves in fear of rejection as if their actions didn’t speak louder than their hushed words. “We’re such idiots.”

“We are.” Alex agreed with a grin on his face, leaning in until their noses brushed and giving her a eskimo kiss before slotting his lips between hers.

Her fingers delicately held his jaw as they kissed slowly, all that hunger had simmered down and turned into tenderness, wanting to feel each other as close as they could like becoming one was possible. There was no rush, the only priority was taking in every second their lips moved together, tasting each other’s tongues with patience and trying to translate their love into it.

“How long has it been for you?” Ella asked softly when she pulled away after a minute of slowly kissing, her thumb rubbing circles on his jaw.

Alex smirked when he knew what he could say about the very second he realized how he felt for Ella, “You wanna know who was there when I realized it all?”

Her curiosity was piqued by the weird approach of his answer, “Who?”

The last thing Ella was waiting for him to say was, “Alexa.”

A quick, “No.” in disbelief left her lips, Ella’s cheeks heating up at the fact that she’d been horrendously affected by her presence beside Alex on a picture when Alexa had been there the time Alex came to the conclusion that he was in love with her.

“Yes.” Alex continued smirking as he said, eager to see her reaction when he’d tell her just how it had happened. “Remember how we were on the phone at the wedding and she came by for a smoke?” Ella nodded, remembering that exact moment way too well for her liking, “You hung up and she just asked who you were. And once she asked, I couldn’t stop talking about you. She just listened and kept teasing me about it. I was gonna leave but then she asked why I hadn’t made a move, said something like ‘you really like her, don’t you?’ and it dawned on me; how I just couldn’t say I liked you because it wasn’t enough.”

Ella looked at him with teasing wide eyes and played, “‘Cause you love me.”

He hummed with a foolish grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, “Because I love you.”

Alex couldn’t help catching her mouth in a kiss again. Now that he could freely kiss her any time he wanted, there was no moment he wouldn’t be thinking of tasting her mouth and feeling her lips on his. She was all he needed to get drunk from.

He caught her bottom lip with his teeth before he could pull back from the kiss, tugging on her lip until she hummed in satisfaction at his action. Her pupils enlarged when he let go of her lip and looked at her in the eyes. She took it as the perfect opportunity to answer the question she thought he’d meant to ask at the start, “If I’m being honest, I’ve always wanted to fuck you.”

His mouth opened agape in slight shock, “Oi, you filthy bitch.” He called her out for the bluntness he would have to get used to without becoming speechless, but she’d caught him off guard and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What?!” She frowned and scoffed before calling him out, “Don’t even start, Turner. Not when I know that you were getting yourself off to my pictures.”

He played dumb very obviously, the inflection of his voice going up as he asked, “Who? Me?”

“Yeah, you. Pervert.” Ella narrowed her eyes as she joked, calling him out further by adding, “And whilst you had a girlfriend too!”

At the mention of that, Alex dropped his joking expression and sighed in regret as he got serious, “Don’t. I actually feel really bad about that. I had to break up with her because I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

She’d always been curious as to why he’d broken up with Arielle all of the sudden so she gasped and looked for more answers, “Are you serious?”

He hummed, wincing as he recalled, “I called her your name one time and I just couldn’t continue in that relationship after that.”

Ella gasped horrified, “You didn’t Cornerstone poor Arielle to me!” She couldn’t believe him, barely being able to scold him with the way her jaw was on the floor in shock, “Alexander David Turner!”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized wholeheartedly.

Her eyes looked into his unwavering for a minute and when she remembered a certain piece of information she’d gotten all those months before, she slapped her hand over her mouth and a muffled, “Oh my god. No. No. No. No.” came from her.

Alex frowned in confusion, his eyes swimming all over her face searching for answers but she just kept her mouth agape in further shock behind her hand, “What?!”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Alex?!” Her hand went from covering her mouth to cover her eyes as she sighed, entirely appalled by it all.

“What?!” The singer asked again, he’d no idea why the look on her face and he was starting to worry.

She had to take a few seconds to gather her thoughts before letting him know, “She fucking called me, you know? After you broke up with her, saying how you’d had the best sex the night before you broke up with her. And he said you called her darling for the first time that night!”

Alex hissed when he heard that and he knew he’d just have to admit to his mistakes, “I did call her darling ‘cause I was picturing you but she didn’t hear me calling her Ellie when I came.”

Another gasp came from Ella, “Alex! For fucks sake!”

“I know, I felt horrible.” Alex admitted, regret written all over his face, “I really did. If it counts for anything.”

Ella shook her head in disbelief, “Alex, I took her out to the club to make her feel better when it was because of me all along?!”

But Alex wouldn’t let her take that blow when it had all been his actions that caused Arielle hurt, “It wasn’t your fault, love. That was all me.”

“Alexxxxxx.” Ella whined as she covered her face with her hands again but this time because she had no idea what to say anymore. She was starting to feel bad for that having happened to Arielle due to her own existence and of course, Alex’s lack of self control. But she felt even worse for the fact that her stomach flipped and she filled up with a strange feeling when knowing she’d made Alex a total and complete mess since that long ago.

“Stop it.” Alex chuckled and pulled her in closer to him but she shuffled away from him the more he pulled on her wrists, “Come here.”

She shook her head, still hidden behind her hands, “No. I’m angry at you.”

“Our first argument already?” Alex joked and Ella rolled her eyes because she could hear the smirk on his face just from the tone of his voice.

“Slight disagreement.” Ella corrected, making Alex cackle loudly.

“Right.” He snickered before pulling on her wrists again, “Don’t hide please.” If she wasn’t gonna let herself be pulled towards him, then he’d go to her. So he crawled over to where she was and hovered on top of her, leaning in to leave a kiss on top of her hands and whisper, “I love you.”

She huffed, dropping her hands from her face to show her frown and cross her arms over her chest, “No, don’t bribe me like that.”

But how could he not? He just couldn’t hold himself back from saying, “I love you.” followed by a kiss on the right side of her face. Another “Love you.” with a kiss to the left side of her face. And one last “Love you so much.” before catching her lips in an elongated peck.

Despite the fact that she’d gracefully accepted the peck, when Alex pulled back, Ella still kept a blank expression on her face and said a meek, “Sure.”

He frowned, “Darling.”

“Alex.” Ella said back with the same determined tone he’d used.

He huffed childishly, “No.”

She chatted back with a short and dry, “Yes.” A roll of her eyes added in to accentuate her annoyance at it all.

But all that did to Alex was make him bite his lip because she looked so fucking hot when she was like this. He didn’t even know if he ever wanted to see her angry, but if she looked hotter than this, then he wouldn’t be opposed to being the target or her wrath.

“God, I fucking love you.” Alex groaned before cupping her face with his hands and pouncing on her lips.

His tongue licked at her bottom lip instantly and despite the fact that she was trying to continue acting all annoyed, she parted her mouth and invited him to lick into her mouth with a sigh of bliss.

Just to make her facade of annoyance crumble, Alex started moaning and groaning into the kiss, making a show of becoming sloppier with it and then leaving her mouth to attack her neck with wet open mouthed kisses so quick that the brush of his lips tickled her and had her giggling.

He pulled away when he heard her laughter, a loopy grin on his face matching the one on hers. But one that fell when she caught his gaze and said, “Now you gotta answer.”

“Huh?” He let out when he couldn’t put a finger on what she meant.

She smirked, her hands slowly brushing up his chest until they were resting on his shoulders and her legs wrapping around his hips before she asked, “How long have you been wanting to fuck me?”

Feeling her the heels of her feet digging into his ass, he let himself fall over her, his cock hardening just at the faintest touch of her cunt. “Ages.” He replied, gasping when she rolled her hips and he felt the arousal already wetting her core.

“Is that right?” She teased, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He hummed, a rush of heat flooding his body and blood rushing down to his cock just by the hungry look that had taken over her face. Her green eyes became black as her pupils dilated with another roll of her hips. “And I’ll make up for lost time until the day I die.” He swore out loud, because he would and it would not be a hardship in the slightest.

She grinned proudly at his words, butterflies fluttering in her belly at the hint of him willing to give her all those years of his life, willing to share all that time with her, “Good boy.”

His cock twitched at the praise. She’d fucking ruined him for good. “Call me that again.”

Ella smirked at his request but had no problem with repeating herself. “My.” She started saying, accentuating each word with a kiss, “Good.” Kiss. “Fucking.” Kiss. “Boy.”

Smashing their lips together, a bruising kiss followed as their hips started rolling in sync. Alex was already growing hard against her, his erection pressing onto her mound and she was getting more and more turned on from the way he reacted to her and the desperation seeping through his pores.

Alex could feel her already drenched and he couldn’t help but bring his hand down to gather some of her arousal. Two of his fingers ran up her folds and he hissed into her mouth. When he looked down, he let his fingers sink into her hole and her wetness allowed for them to glide in easily. The singer cursed under his breath when he drew his fingers back and when he looked back up at her, she let her mouth hang open inviting him to push his fingers into her mouth, wanting a taste.

He pushed his digits past her lips and let them heavily weigh down on the tip of her tongue. She moaned and her eyes rolled back at her taste, swirling her tongue around them before fully sinking them onto her mouth and humming in satisfaction when tasting even more of her wetness.

His mouth fell agape as he took in the filthiness of the scene, “How did I get so lucky?”

Letting go of his fingers with a pop, Ella replied to his question with a passionate kiss. So messy and pointless for their teeth clashed and couldn’t stop gasping the more their hips rolled into each other’s. But Alex could taste her arousal on her tongue and it drove him mad. He wanted another taste, he needed it.

So he broke the kiss, a string of spit clinging between their wet lips, guiding his kisses down her jaw and neck, her chest and abdomen until he reached her mound. Ella shuddered feeling his hot breath growing closer and closer to her heat, a wave of pleasure making her hips rut on the bed.

Her cunt was glistening, inviting him to have a fucking feast. And that he did once he threw her legs over his shoulders and he laid flat on the bed. His tongue pressed flat against her cunt and started to lap eagerly up and down her folds. Her right hand flew to catch a hold of his hair while the other one came up to her chest, fingers kneading her own tits, pinching her nipples when he started flicking at her clit.

“F–fuck!” Ella cursed loudly when he sucked on her clit, her hips bucking quicker with every second that went by, her fingers abusing her pebbled nipples even more to intensify the pleasure his mouth was bringing her. “Alex, baby… Shit.”

He hummed with his lips wrapped around her clit, her back arching from the vibration reverberation all over her. Her toes curling and her mouth going slack when he pointed his tongue and started fucking her with it, moving his head in such a way that his nose was rubbing on her clit.

She fucking loved it. She hadn’t known how badly she’d wanted to feel that again until she did and now all she could think of was getting this every day for the rest of her life. “Mmmm, just like that.” She praised, her hips still meeting his movements and making her orgasm build up.

Alex looked up at her and the sight of her playing with her tits as he tongue fucked had him letting out a guttural groan and bucking his hips into the mattress. The friction that brought him made him whimper pathetically and once the whiny sound fell on Ella’s ears, she got louder.

He got more vocal then, humming and moaning as he lapped at her, flicked and sucked at her clit, pointed his tongue to tease her sopping hole; all of it over and over until her legs started shaking beside his head.

“Alex! Al– Fuck.” She messily let out in between gasps, “M’so close. Oh fuckkkkk.” She mewled when his tongue started flicking faster at her clit, her eyes screwed shut and her hand falling from her chest to claw at the sheets when she felt her orgasm approaching her rapidly.

With a yell of his name, she came on his tongue, coating it with the sweetness he was already addicted to. The wetness mixed with his spit dribbling down his chin as he tried his best to lap at every drop, not wanting to let any of it go to waste.

His hips started rutting faster against the mattress, the springs of his bed creaking as he went. The sound of it was the thing Ella first heard when she came down from her high, not knowing what it was until she looked down and saw Alex lapping at the arousal that had wet her inner thighs and his hips bucking relentlessly on the bed.

“I can’t get enough of the taste of you, darling,” he confessed, kissing her inner thigh. “I’m obsessed.”

Pulling on his hair, Ella peeled him away from her cunt and in between her panting as she tried catching her breath, she finally said, “Fuck me, Alex. I need you.” Even if she was spent, and she felt far too oversensitive, she couldn’t miss the chance of him filling her up again.

He couldn’t wait anymore so there was not a second to doubt nodding and giving into her wishes, he crawled up her body and pumped himself quickly before aligning his cock to her entrance. Pushing his hips forward slowly and sinking into her for the second time in the night, Alex swore that was exactly how heaven felt like. Her back arched off the mattress when he bottomed out, her legs wouldn’t stop shaking and she felt her eyes well up with tears at the stretch after having just cum.

A cry of his name blessed Alex’s ears at the same time he leaned in to groan onto her chest. “Fuck me, you feel so fucking perfect.” He praised as he tried to catch his breath, stilling inside her to give her time to adjust to his length again. She needed to relax again because if her cunt kept squeezing him like that, he wouldn’t last more than a minute.

Before he could start moving, he lifted her legs up slowly one by one until they were thrown over his shoulders, shuffling closer until the backs of her thighs were flush against his chest and he leaned into her, her knees coming closer to her chest and the new angle allowing for him to sink even deeper inside her.

“Oh my– Fuck!” She yelled at the stretch of this new angle that had him pressing into her g-spot perfectly. She shivered beneath him, hips struggling to stay in place when her body was screaming for him to start moving. She felt like she was about to explode. “Alex, Alex, move please.”

Alex started at a fairly quick pace, not being able to start slow because the angle in which he fucked her just made her squeeze his cock even tighter. Not that Ella wanted him slower, she could feel her second orgasm looming on her with force and she needed him to continue picking up his pace.

The claps of their skin filled up the room, along with her high pitched whimpers and his groans. Her head was thrown back, giving him full access to kiss and bite and suck the skin of her neck and when he did, it just made her pleasure increase tenfold.

“Al– harder. Please, harder.” Ella cried out, feeling herself about to fall over the edge, seeing stars behind her eyelids with every thrust.

“Aren’t you greedy?” Alex taunted but obliged, and with harder thrusts, it truly felt like he was fucking her into the matress, the springs creaking as it bounced from their movement.

“Yes! Don’t stop!” She yelled desperately, her orgasm building more intensely every time his pubic bone smacked against her clit, the pain turning into blinding pleasure that made her toes curl and her fingers pull harder on his hair.

Alex rested all of his weight on his left hand then, using his right hand to start rubbing her clit in quick motions to have her cum along with him because there was only so much longer he could hold and he was afraid he was getting closer and closer to his limit. “Are you gonna cum for me?”

She bit her lip, rolling her eyes. “If you keep– Just–”

“Gonna drench my cock, huh?” He nosed her neck, tickling her. “Gonna make a mess of it?”

“Yes!” And, true to her words, Ella came all over him, the stimulation from him hitting her g-spot and toying with her clit making her squirt all over him, drenching him and the sheets. And with that filthy sight Alex came right after her, his cum coating her walls as he continued pounding into her with messy thrusts.

“Fucking hell, you’re hot.”

The rhythm of his hips faltered as he continued riding out both of their climaxes, his finger slowing down on her clit until it stopped as she kept spasming around him. Her legs were shaking on his shoulders, so he let her let them down slowly after dropping a kiss on her calves and resting them on the bed.

Alex rubbed her thighs softly as he pulled out from her, hissing when he did just like Ella whined at the emptiness, wanting nothing but for him to be always inside her, he filled her up so good she thought she would soon become addicted to it.

He looked down at the mess on the sheets, his brain flashing the image of her squirting all over him as he watched his cum dripping out of her and staining the wet sheets. Alex groaned from the pits of his chest, hovering down over her again and mumbling against her lips, “I fucking adore you.”

She giggled, trying to see his face through half lidded eyes and hummed, “Adore you too.”

At the sight of her eyes closing, Alex got off the bed and swiftly carried her to the bathroom so they could get cleaned up. When he set her on the floor of his en-suite, she groaned loudly at the soreness of her legs and her cunt, Alex laughed in response.

Ella glared at him then, folding her arms as she watched him get towels from some shelves hidden in the corner of the room. “Don’t laugh, you’ve just folded me like a pretzel. I’m gonna be so sore.”

The comparison only made him laugh even harder and she pouted. “‘M sorry, but you enjoyed it.” He walked up to her and, after tossing the towels on a bench beside the glass doors that encased his shower, he enveloped her in a hug and dropped a sweet kiss on her lips.

He started walking towards the shower as they kissed, so she walked backwards until the cold glass made her hiss when it touched the warm skin of her back. He pulled back from the kiss and dropped two pecks on her before opening the glass door for them to get inside but when she turned, she managed to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Ella scoffed, “Gonna have the best time covering these up, thanks Alex.” Her neck was covered in lovebites and so was her chest, and when she let her gaze fall down to her thighs, she found the darkening bruises littered inside of them.

He looked at her through the mirror coming to press himself against her back, his arms wrapping around her middle and dipping to leave a trail of kisses up her neck until he reached her ear and whispered, “Didn’t hear you complaining when I left them.”

She rolled her eyes at him trying to act like his tricks weren’t working but her walls clenched around nothing in response. “Shut up.” She said before peeling his arms off her and walking into the shower first. He was gonna be the death of her.

Alex walked in after her and pulled her into him again by wrapping an arm around her waist, their chests pressed flush against each other this time and making her throw her arms around his neck. “You love me.” The singer mumbled against her lips in a reminder, the smirk that broke on his face only pushing Ella to tease him back.

“Do I?” She quipped back, cocking her head to the side and putting on a pretty convincing confused expression on her face.

His eyes turned mischievous as he said, “You do.” and then flicked the shower on making her gasp when the cold water fell over them as they stood right beneath the wide shower head.

“You’re such a little shit.” She hissed through her teeth before pushing him off her softly. She really didn’t want him away because the water still fell on them cold but she had to commit to the bit.

The singer giggled as he stumbled backwards but came back up to her seconds later, wrapping an arm around her waist again and cupping her jaw, tilting her head slightly so he could kiss her. It stupidly felt like kissing under the rain and suddenly Ella couldn’t be more excited for every first kiss they’d share in the future.

“You still love me though.” Alex chatted back when he broke the kiss.

And despite the roll of her eyes, a smile won over her pursed lips and she agreed, “I do love you.”

Alex hummed, “And I love you.”

Soon enough the spray of water grew warmer and they started to clean themselves up. Alex grabbed the new bottle of shampoo he’d gotten and started washing Ella’s hair, massaging her head softly and making her moan as his fingers dug perfectly into scalp. When he rinsed the shampoo fully off her hair, she took over the task of washing his and he also was a moaning mess as she took her time massaging his head. They soaped each other up delicately and slightly teasingly, hissing when they would poke at a particular tender spot the other had sucked on their skin, smirking when they’d taunt each other with a frisky touch like when Alex groped her tits with the excuse of properly cleaning her up and when she let her fingers inch closer and closer to his cock as she soaped up his lower stomach.

When they came out of the shower, after Ella had made him fuck her first when he got hard at her tantalising touch, Alex wrapped her in a towel and left her to dry her hair with another one while he wrapped his own towel around his waist and went back out into his room to get some clothes for them to wear.

A few minutes later, Alex walked back into the bathroom in just a pair of joggers and one of his shirts and a pair of boxers in hand for her. He gave Ella the clothes and left her to take her time as he went back to his bedroom and picked up the duvet and the bedsheets to take to the wash.

It didn’t take him long to put the bedding in the washing machine and when he came back he melted at the sight of her wearing his shirt and boxers and brushing her wet hair with her fingers.

He stepped into the room, walking back to the shelves in the corner to take out a comb and a hair dryer. “C’mere, I’ll do it for you.” He waved her over to the marble counter where two sinks stood beside each other, and he tapped on the space in the middle for her to sit on while he took care of her hair

She walked over to him and sat where he told her, the marble cold against her bare thighs making goosebumps break along the skin of the legs. He stood between her legs, brushing from the ends of her hair upwards, making her get down to properly brush the back of her head. He then plugged the hair dryer and started drying her hair, his fingers tenderly combing through her hair as the warm air dried it.

When he was done, Alex was quick to give her a peck so that she would open her eyes which had fluttered closed at the feeling of his fingers raking through her hair.

“Thank you, darling.” Ella said with a fake British accent, trying her best to mock him but clearly failing when he frowned at her advances.

“You’re welcome, babe.” Alex replied, retaliating by putting on a fake American accent so high pitched it made Ella wince.

She scoffed, swatting at his chest softly, “I don’t sound like that at all!”

The singer just shrugged, wanting to wind her up, “Are you sure?”

“Dickhead.” She bit back with her eyes narrowed, making him let out a loud laugh before he pulled her into a tight embrace that ended with them sharing a sweet kiss.

With one last peck on her cheek after he separated their lips with a smack, Alex went and unplugged the hair dryer and put it back in its place along with the comb. Walking back to where Ella still stood, leaning on the marble of the sinks, and interlocked their fingers to walk back into the room.

Seeing the bed bare of bedding made Ella’s cheeks heat up, knowing that it was all her doing that the sheets were fully ruined to use tonight. Alex looked at her and smiled at her bright red face, pecking her lips before reminding her that it had been the hottest thing that he’d ever seen and suggesting taking the bedding from one of the guest rooms to get her out of her head.

Walking over to the guest room, Ella chuckled out loud remembering how he’d promised her a house tour and she was only getting it after she’d ruined his sheets, not because he’d promised.

“You still owe me that house tour, you know?” She taunted him with a grin on her face.

He turned to the side to look at her and giggled when realizing what was going through her head, “Tomorrow after breakfast, I promise.” She hummed, knowing she’d hold him up to that.

But at the mention of food, she openly admitted she was hungry and he said he was too. So they went back to his kitchen, hand in hand, and made themselves a fast sandwich that they practically devoured in minutes, along with a few talls glasses of water when they realized just how parched their activities had left them. They quickly put everything away in the dishwasher and continued their quest for the bedding.

When they opened the door to the guest room, Ella marveled at the look of it. It was California rustic and so pretty, the wallpaper and the wood used around the room combined beautifully and she realized then she hadn’t even had the chance to appreciate Alex’s room. Too caught up in trying to finally have him all to herself in the many ways she’d dreamed about.

She made a point to take in every detail of his room when they came back to it with their arms full of white bedding. Compliments came from her about what she’d seen of the house so far as they struggled to put on the fitted sheet, they laughed when they messed up the way it went and when the corners wouldn’t stay on as they perfectly placed them at first. The scene was so domestic, her heart grew in sizes inside her chest. How could she be feeling this rumble of butterflies in her stomach from just making a bed with him? She was utterly and completely fucked, and instead of scaring her anymore, it just felt right and she reveled in it.

Once they managed to tackle the fitted sheet, everything else came easier and as soon as the duvet was perfectly placed, Alex ran up to the window to pull down the blackout curtains and once that was done, the two of them gracefully disheveled the tidy way they’d made the bed to get under the sheets and finally cuddle each other until they could rest.

This time it was Alex who lay on top of her, the side of his face pressed over her chest where he was starting to fall asleep, being lulled by the steady beating of her heart and her nails scratching lightly at his scalp.

They’d been lying in silence for about ten minutes when Ella whispered, “Love?”

Alex smiled brightly with his eyes closed, his heart leaping from his chest hearing her using that pet name for him, “Hmm?”

“Which one’s your favorite?” She asked, still being intrigued about so many things they’d yet to talk about.

But it seemed that Alex didn’t really know what she was talking about for he lifted his head up slightly to press his face on her tits and motorboated her lazily for a few seconds before he mumbled, “Both of them.”

A loud cackle came from her, piercing through the silence in the room as she shook her head, “You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m not lying.” He wholeheartedly promised while coming back to rest the side of his face on her chest.

She hummed, a snort coming from her as she tried to contain her laughter and when she managed to keep it at bay, she actually clarified for him, “Okay, good to know. But I meant which of my pictures is your favorite.”

A soft, “Ohhhhh…” came from him in realization. She laughed just as loudly and then he peeled his eyes open to look up at her with a conflicted look on his face, “You can’t just make me pick one.”

“Well, I am.” Ella challenged him. She wanted him to list every single picture he’d gotten himself off to but for now she could go to sleep just knowing which was the one.

Despite him acting like it was despicable for her to make him choose one, coming up with an answer was as easy as the ticking of five seconds on the clock, “That one of you on the motorbike. The one where you’re wearing that silver bikini and your cowboy boots and that hat.”

She frowned, trying to think about which picture it was and when she remembered the frame she’d posted long ago, she gasped, “Really?”

He nodded, still looking up at her, “Yes. Wrote Arabella ‘cause of that one.”

“Of course you did.” Ella chuckled and rolled her eyes at him. She would’ve never realized that the ‘Barbarella silver swimsuit’ line actually had to do directly with her too and it wasn’t just another one of Alex’s witty lyrics.

“I did.” He confirmed, smiling proudly at her, “No regrets. Though you never said anything about that one.”

She frowned and scoffed at him like he was crazy, “What did you want me to say? I thought that one was about Arielle until I heard the bridge!”

He closed his mouth and let a few beats of silence pass when he knew her excuse was valid, “Oh, well…”

Ella actually giggled loudly at his response, a shake of her head in disbelief and she called him out for his audacity, “You’re so annoying.”

“You love me.” Alex countered with the statement that he knew she would never actually deny.

She hummed with a foolish smile breaking on her face as she confirmed, “I do.”

“Say it again.” Alex breathlessly pleaded, his fingers coming to take a hold of her chin as he craned his neck to lean in closer to her.

There would never be a day she would pass on the opportunity to tell him, “I love you.”

His heart soared hearing those words, devotion written on his face when he stared into her hazel green eyes and whispered back, “I love you.”

Their exhaustion was wearing them out already and the languidness of their movements translated into a lazy kiss. But what lacked in energy, compensated with the sheer amount of sincerity and intent, wanting to let the other know with every kiss just how much of a love fool they’d made each other.

When he pulled back, Ella leaned back in to drop a handful more chaste kisses on his lips and after the sixth one, she couldn’t help herself about asking another question that was poking at her curiosity intensely, “Which other ones are about me? Other than Snap, you made that very clear.”

“Fireside, Do I Wanna Know?, Stop the World.” He listed quickly, knowing just what was his train of thought behind every song he’d written about her. “I made I Wanna Be Yours into a song because I wanted you to get the hint.”

She offered him a sweet pout and cooed at him, “Awh, sweetness.”

“That worked out well, didn’t it?” He added with a lighthearted sarcastic tone.

But she shook her head because it had been her fault too, not picking up on the obvious signs, “Sorry, I’m just a bit dense sometimes.”

Yet, he wouldn’t have her blaming herself for it when he knew he should have just spoken up, “S’alright. I should’ve just told you.”

Just to tease him, Ella nodded and agreed, “You really should’ve.” As if she hadn’t been keeping it hidden for far too long too.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes in amusement before smiling brightly, “Nice to be able to say it now.”

She nodded, thinking nothing else would ever compare to the feeling that flooded her when he said he loved her for the first time and it only got better and better the more he repeated it. The peace that she felt when she let those three words out was just as good, “It’s relieving.”

“I love you.” Alex told her, his eyes taking in every detail of her face as it lit up when hearing those words.

Ella brought her hand up to his face to cup his jaw and reciprocate sweetly, “I love you.”

One more kiss was shared, another one of those teeth-rottingly cute ones that left each other dazed. The heat of their bodies beneath the covers was making it harder for Alex to stay up so he broke the kiss and mumbled against her lips, “Right, darling. Close those pretty eyes of yours and go to sleep yeah? Long day tomorrow.” She’d fully distracted him from cleaning up the house and getting it ready, nevermind for the party but he’d been planning on tidying everything up for when she’d come over, if he’d actually had the chance to prepare the candlelit dinner for her.

“Hmm right.” Ella whispered back.

It was hard to know if the fact that everyone else was coming over the very next day was gonna make her want to sleep as soon as possible, dreading the exhaustion that evening would bring, or if it was gonna make her nervous enough to keep her eyes open for far longer than necessary.

All because Alex started rubbing circles on the skin of her thigh just as he let his eyes flutter closed and wished her, “Sweet dreams, darling.”

Seeing Alex’s face starting to melt into a blissful stupor, she forced her eyes closed and wished him back, “Sweet dreams, my love.”

It was impossible for him to keep that stupid smile off his face when she called him that, “I like the sound of that.”

She giggled, her cheeks heating up again. “Go to sleep.” She called him out, trying to bite back her smile to push herself into her slumber.

With the dark behind their eyelids being the only thing they could see then, it was impressive the way they found each other’s lips again and shared one more quick and soft kiss before they could actually succumb to their exhaustion. The foolish grins on their faces stuck there until they fell deep in sleep, arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled to keep the other as close as possible, not wanting to let go anytime soon.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The domesticity continued well into the following morning, after Alex woke Ella up with an attack of kisses all over her face which ended in them holding the other as they worked their ways to an orgasm, whispering sweet nothings and looking into each other’s eyes intently as pleasure washed over them.

Brushing their teeth together before changing the sheets yet again—this time bringing the freshly washed ones in Alex’s room and putting the one’s they’d borrowed from the guest room in the wash—, making breakfast together and getting comfortable on the settee to eat.

Ella’s legs were thrown over his lap and he was trying his best to keep one hand on her thigh, rubbing circles on her skin while they ate. The only sound that rumbled through the house was the consistent hum of the AC that kept the house cool, outside the sun was heating up the ground and the water that filled the pool; they broke the silence from time to time to hum when they had another bite of the scrambled eggs and sausage he’d made.

It was hard to imagine everything else was going by normally outside the walls of Alex’s house. It felt like they were stuck in their own little bubble and pure happiness simmered inside them, butterflies fluttering inside their stomachs and their smiles just stuck on their faces so their cheeks ached from how much they were smiling already despite it just barely being nine in the morning.

Alex already felt the need for this to be routine, for this to be his normal so with a soft squeeze to her bruised thigh, he let out, “I could get used to this, y’know.”

It was so easy to agree, when Ella felt so complete right there. Everything felt right, all worries had been stripped away from her and she felt light and carefree, like she was soaring and the only weight was the love that filled her heart and swelled it until it tripled in size. She hummed in agreement, “Mhmmm, me too.” But just to tease him, like she was growing to adore, she joked by tapping her fork on the almost empty plate, “This is so good.”

An eye roll was added there along with a soft moan so that she could emphasize how good she meant the food was and, even though she wasn’t lying, Alex still gasped aloud, mockingly insulted.

A string of giggles fell from her lips and she set the plate down on the coffee table next to her coffee cup to cup his face with both hands and promise, “I’m joking.” Ella pressed her lips over his, their eyes fluttering close at the feeling, and she pulled back softly after a few seconds to genuinely say, “This just feels so right.”

With a smile, he also set his plate down on the coffee table and settled back on the settee to look at her and admit, “You know, you actually beat me to it by a few hours.”

A soft frown appeared on her face as she brushed his hair back, “Beat you to it?”

He nodded and told her just what he’d been planning for her later that night, “Was gonna call you and invite you over for dinner. I’d bought some things earlier to make you your favorite pasta and a bunch of candles to set it all up outside by the pool.”

“Awh sweetness…” Ella cooed as she shuffled even closer to him, “You’re so fucking cute.”

Alex kissed the soft pout off her face and hummed into her mouth before pulling back and smirking, “It was gonna be really cute but then you surprised me instead.”

She shook her head in disbelief not only at the fact that she missed that but also of her own actions, “Can’t believe I ruined your cute little plan by barging in and going on a crying rant.”

But Alex couldn’t disagree more with her choice of words, “You didn’t ruin anything, darling.”

“It was...” Ella started, trailing off to think of a proper word to describe what that had been and when recalling it in her mind, she closed her eyes in painful embarrassment and concluded, “A whole mess.”

“Nah, I loved it.” Alex said wholeheartedly, cupping her jaw and rubbing soothing circles on her face to have her open her eyes, “Not seeing you cry though, that broke my heart.” Her words echoed inside his head and his brows furrowed as worry washed over his gaze, “Did you really think I was ever going for Alexa when I have you?”

She averted her gaze but she tutted softly and tilted her face so she’d look him in the eye again. Biting her tongue, she took a deep breath and her fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt before she mumbled, “Well if you’d read that article and seen all the shit people keep saying online then you’d know how I felt.”

“What article, love?” He’d no clue what she was referring to and if he could see it and get a link to it so he could send it to his PR team, he would do it in a heartbeat and ask them to do their best to take the bloody thing down. “Show it to me.”

Silently, Ella nodded and left him with a kiss on the settee to get her phone. She found it with ease as it was saved in Breana’s chat, and she held her breath when it loaded and showed on her screen. The stupid fucking article that had made her miserable for days. She had herself to blame for that too but she couldn’t not when that was going around social media and people took it like gospel.

Ella bit on her thumb when she sat down next to Alex and offered him the phone opened on the article. She watched attentively as he started reading and taking in every way his pursed lips twitched and his brows lifted and furrowed.

A loud scoff came from him when he read that last sentence and he shook his head, closing the tab and setting Ella’s phone down on the coffee table. “Utter wank.” That was all he could describe it as. And to completely clear things up, he explained, “We were chatting about you that morning, actually.”

“What?”

Alex grabbed her ankles and threw her legs over his lap again, wrapping an arm around her waist to bring her as close as he could to him before he could add, “Like I told you yesterday, she was there when I realized I love you. So when she heard that we were in New York and had just played a festival, she texted me and we met up. We were walking around smoking and I told her about the house and moving here and wanting to tell you and she gave me loads of ideas about how to tell you, the candlelit dinner being one of them.”

Ella’s mouth fell open agape at the information. She couldn’t believe not only had Alexa been there when he realized he was in love with her, she had given him ideas on how to finally tell her.

Her cheeks tinted bright pink and she let her head fall on Alex’s shoulder. He felt her shake her head and sigh heavily, “Ugh, fuck. I feel so stupid.”

Alex shook his head and rubbed up and down her legs to soothe her, “It’s all the media's fault and all those chatting shit online.” He got angrier when recalling all the idiotic implications written on that page, “Dunno what the fuck they’re going on about Cookie’s wedding either. Just a bunch of bollocks, that.”

Ella hummed as she took in the way he reacted to what he’d just read, his look of disdain when reading each sentence was imprinted in her mind. In a moment of utter sincerity, she started explaining what had gone through her head when reading the article, “It really just made me feel the same as 2012 when you went for Arielle after our date and I–,” it was hard to compare because it was a very different situation but the ugly feeling that had flooded her system was just the same only amplified tenfold, “I thought the worse and I didn’t want to be left broken like back then so I started overwhelming myself to just anticipate what was coming.”

Alex’s hand coming to hold hers and intertwine their fingers coaxed her out of her mind and she looked up at him with a sorrowful smile. He kissed the back of her hand and she said the last thing she wanted to ever utter about the matter, the one thing that had been haunting her the most, “I think what freaked me out the most was that last line. I had no idea you were engaged to her.”

“Never was.” Alex wholeheartedly said while still holding tightly onto her hand, “It’s just one of them things people take out of context. Must’ve told someone I wanted to marry her back when we were together and they probably went straight to the tabloids to exaggerate it and make it a piece of hot gossip.”

A faint, pathetic “Oh,” fell from her lips. She couldn’t keep his gaze because she felt embarrassed, she almost pulled her hand back but his touch was soothing and it was all she needed as she added, “My head was spinning. I thought if I already had no chance in ever coming close to the Alexa Chung then the history between you would make it entirely impossible to compare.”

With a pull to her hand, Alex made her look up again and once he could see those gorgeous eyes of hers, he shook his head, “That’s so far from the truth, darling.” Grabbing her other hand, he pulled her towards him so she shuffled and changed the position of her legs, coming to straddle him.

He cupped her face with both hands, watching every detail on her face adoringly, taking one of his hands up to her hair so he could rake through it with his fingers as he said, “No one comes even close when compared to you, Ella. You’ve been all I could ever think about for a while. Just the thought of you drives me mad. I’m all yours, I’ve always been.”

Silence fell around them as they took in each other’s expression. His face shined with devotion and her worried frown had melted into complete infatuation.

Cupping his face with her hands and softly rubbing circles on his jaw, she quietly asked, “Mine?”

“Yours.” Alex smiled brightly, an almost imperceptible nod made her fingers hold onto him the tiniest bit together.

It was as true a statement as her declaring, “I love you.”

And he knew. He felt it just the same, his heart beating in the same erratic pattern as hers, “I love you so much darling.”

She leaned in closer to him, breaths mixing together and their parted mouths ready to slot together and make the distance disappear between them, “I’m yours too, you know.”

His throat dried up at her words, it would take him time to realize this was actually real and not one of those dreams he had felt too crazy to lose himself in before.

“And for that I’m the luckiest man alive.”

They met in the middle to share yet another kiss that only assured for them to continue getting addicted to the taste of each other’s mouth. It was soft at first, deliberate and full of intent, but when his tongue brushed her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to welcome him in, it grew hungry and needy.

It was more than clear that they only had a few days to enjoy their bliss before he had to go on tour again. He’d shown her the schedule while they made breakfast and they knew once he left on the 2nd to tour festivals in Europe, they wouldn’t be able to see each other until he came back for three shows in different cities in California in August. And then he’d be off again. So it would be a little over a month that they’d be away from each other, and those three days they’d get would go by way faster than they’d need. It was just how time always treated them.

Therefore, they knew to take advantage of every minute they got with each other. To drink it all in and not take it for granted, to indulge in it all.

So it wasn’t surprising when his hands came to rest on her hips and he pressed her flush against his hips, he was already hard for her. A needy whine fell from her lips at the friction, his breath hitched in his throat when she rolled her hips, keeping her gaze on his to watch his face contorted in pleasure.

Alex threw his head back and rolled his eyes, “This is what you do to me.” Struggling to pick his head back up, he grabbed one of her hands and guided it between their bodies so her fingers could wrap over the bulge tenting his joggers. She squeezed softly and a groan rumbled through his chest, “One look at you and I’m fucking ruined.”

Her tongue poked between her lips to wet them as she looked down and continued stroking him through his clothes. Alex took in the view, her mouth agape and almost watering at the outline of his cock pressing against his joggers, her hand moving on him now more confidently as he tried swallowing his whimpers, her bruised thighs spread open and on each side of his legs.

“I mean, look at you.” He said raggedly, struggling to catch his breath. “Fuck.”

When Ella looked back up at him, she took in the way his chest flushed. He was still shirtless, and she’d been smirking all morning, shamelessly gawking at him. But now the pink hue his skin was turning contrasted with the dark red bruises she’d left on him the night before.

His breath grew heavier when she leaned in and kissed over the big bruise that adorned that sweet spot on the base of his throat, “Did a good job,” she said before licking up the side of his neck until she reached his earlobe, she bit it and tugged, letting it free after a pathetic whimper stumbled through his lips.

She leaned back slightly and stopped the movement of her hand on his cock, making him cry out at the loss of her consistent touch building on his pleasure.

Smirking, she whispered in his ear, “Wanna write my name all over you.”

Alex shuddered when her breath fanned on his skin as she made her way down his neck, only to start her abuse on his skin all over again, finding patches of pale skin in between the bruises that she felt the need to fix.

His hips bucked upwards when she bit on a bruise, the pain rippling through his body and turning it into eye watering pleasure that had him a mess of whispered profanities and her name as she went.

A broken moan came from him when she finished sucking a bruise over his heart and went straight back to dig her teeth on a patch of tender skin. “Awh baby.” Ella cooed when she straightened up and looked at his tear glazed eyes, “You okay? Want me to stop?”

She had started lifting herself off his lap when he shook his head eagerly, “No. Don’t.”

Alex pulled her back down on his lap, this time so her cunt was right over his hard length and she moaned when he used his firm hold to guide her into rolling her hips over him and his cock brushed her clit.

His brows furrowed in pleasure, a moan stuck on his throat, he managed out a shaky, “I need you.”

And Ella needed him too. She was wet and throbbing for him already, clenching around nothing and all she could think of was how good he stretched her out. She needed him inside her again. But she couldn’t help herself, pouncing on his lips with lust and an animalistic need that made her rock her hips at a quickening pace over him.

When his mouth went slack and he couldn’t kiss her back anymore, she took it as the cue to get off his lap and quickly undress. His shirt she’d been wearing was thrown behind the settee and the boxers she’d borrowed quickly followed.

Completely naked, Ella came to straddle him again. Alex’s hands fell on her waist and slowly trailed up until he could cup her breasts, fingers pinching each nipple and mouth parting in a silent gasp when her hands fell on his shoulders and she started rolling her drenched cunt over his clothed bulge.

“You’re gonna be the end of me.” Alex swore under his breath, her wetness already ruining his joggers. He could feel his own precum leaking and aiding in wetting the fabric along with her own slick.

Ella hummed, stopping her tantalizing movements to lift herself up and off his lap, enough for her to pull down the waistband of his joggers and his hard cock to spring out and brush against his lower stomach. They didn’t even think of getting them off him fully, halfway down his thighs was enough for them to carry on.

Her mouth watered at the sight, the hairs of his happy trail being wet by the salty arousal that leaked out of his tip. With nimble fingers, she grabbed his length and pumped him. Once, twice. Fuck. He was heavy, swollen in her hand.

Her thumb swiped the precum off him and brought it up to her mouth, sucking devotedly to memorize every detail of him.

How he shivered beneath her, how he tasted on her tongue, how he dug his nails in her skin to silently beg her to hold him again, how he looked as he panted and tried his best to go along the pace she set, the aroma of sex already lingering in the air surrounding them.

Every one of her senses was completely overcome by him, and she greedily wished for it to remain the same until she took her last breath.

“And you’ll be mine.” Ella reciprocated, hand coming down between their bodies to wrap around his cock again. No more time to waste anymore when the need for each other started to morph into an ache.

She took him and rubbed him up and down her folds, reveling in the way his face fell at the contact with her sopping cunt. The tip of his cock teased her entrance, and she concluded, “What a way to fucking go,” as she sank down on him.

Words struggled to come out of his mouth the more she swallowed him whole, “I love you–,” he started to say, just wanting to praise her for how good she was to him, how well she took him, but his thoughts melted into the puddle of pleasure she brought him and all he could do was curse under his breath when he bottomed out, “Oh fuck.”

Catching her breath with shallow inhales, Ella pressed her forehead against his and their lips brushed as she sighed, “All mine. Only mine.”

Their eyes rolled into the back of their skulls when she started rolling her hips, the angle heavenly and making them a mess of moans and whimpers.

“Feels so good baby.” Alex praised, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her as close as possible. Her pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest, his senses going haywire. Ella, Ella, Ella. It was just her, all his mind knew. His heart, body and soul shared the same knowledge. “You’re a fucking dream.”

She hummed, he felt so good inside her. Every roll of her hips meant his cock nudged against that spot inside her that drove her mad, and her clit pressed on him deliciously. She was delirious from the pleasure, “Love– fuckkkk. Love you.”

Stilling for one second, she stabilized on her knees and started moving up and down on his cock. The friction of him dragging in and out of her velvety walls made them gasp, she was making a mess of him.

A high pitched moan fell from her lips, straight into his open mouth when one of his hands smacked harshly against her ass. The sting of the spank dwindling into white heat that only made her mewl louder when she bounced back down on his cock.

“Again, please.”

Her wishes were his command, so he did it again. Reveling in the feeling of her walls clenching around him with every hit. Because she kept asking for more and more, her breaths growing shallow, her cries of pleasure getting louder and louder. He was sure he’d see the red print of his hand there with how hard and often he was spanking her.

His fingers dug harshly in the tender flesh of her ass, helping her glide up and down his cock. He looked down to watch how easy it was for her to take him over and over, “So good to me, darling. Fucking made for my cock, weren’t you?”

“Yes.” She gasped out in agreement, they fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. A delicious, brain-melting, toe-curling puzzle that brought her closer and closer to the edge.

Her hips got faster, thighs burning from the effort but she wasn’t relenting, not when she felt that coil in her lower stomach tightening with every stroke. The slaps of their slick covered skin meeting made her smirk, “We’re gonna make a mess here.”

The image of her squirting all over him the night before flashed through his mind, a guttural moan coming from him at the possibility of it happening again, “I don’t care.”

“Already wanna ruin your new furniture?” Ella giggled breathlessly.

He nodded, biting his bottom lip to muffle a loud moan when she picked up her pace. He was gonna spill inside her any second now if he didn’t focus on holding out until she could cum with him. His words came out strangled by the effort, “I’ll ruin every inch of this house with you.”

“Yeah? What are we ruining baby?” Her voice was molten lust that washed all over him, fingers digging harder into her flesh.

Every scene played in his mind like a film, his mouth moved quickly with each frame, “Gonna bend you over the kitchen counter, have you make a mess all over the marble. Have a feast of this sweet cunt on the dinner table. You’re gonna see how well you take it when I fuck you in front of that mirror in my room.” She dipped her face to suck a bruise on the skin right below his ear, “We– Oh fuckkkk…”

With those plush wet lips of hers she stole his thoughts, making him crumble into a blubbering mess as she marked him up.

She let go of the patch of skin with a pop, licking over it with her eager tongue. “Yeah? Promise?” She whined, needy and begging for him to already make all that reality.

“Promise baby.” He moaned in response, “Ella… Shit.” He couldn’t hold out any longer, he was so close and he knew she was too with the way her legs started trembling. He needed her to cum with him and to drench him again so he brought a hand down in between them and started rubbing quick circles on her clit.

A broken gasp fell from her mouth, he swallowed it with a quick wet kiss but she caught his wrist and pulled his hand away. “Don’t.” She knew exactly what he was trying to do. “We can’t just throw your settee in the washing machine.”

He was about to complain but those fucking hips of hers wouldn’t relent and he was losing grasp around reality and any sort of logic. His need for release took over and pressing a hand down on the settee while the other still clutched her tightly to his chest, he started bucking his hips up, every thrust more determined, meeting in the middle as she fucked herself on his cock.

“Shit, yes! Keep– Ohh!” Ella couldn’t even properly speak, she was almost drooling from how fucking good it felt, how fucking well he slammed his hips up into hers. One arm wrapped around his neck and the other making sure to keep a good grip on the back of the settee, she mewled into his mouth, “Like that. Like that. M’so close baby.”

“Cum with me darling.” Alex struggled to say, his words strained as he got closer and closer to his climax. His thighs started trembling but he did his best to continue, cursing as it took all of him not to stop, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

Her legs shook beside his hips, her hips stuttered as she tried to continue riding him. Panting into each other’s mouths, they came. Crying out each other’s name, holding onto the other for dear life as their minds went blank and their sight was overcome by nothingness except for the feeling of him twitching inside her and coating her walls with his cum.

Sloppily, they rode out their highs until Alex slumped back down on the settee with Ella, almost dead weight on top of him. Their heavy breaths sounded like blissful sighs with every exhale.

It was an unearthly feeling to have this all with each other at last. So fucking perfect, they weren’t fully conviced this wasn’t a dream.

Ella giggled when she opened her eyes and found him blissed out, eyes closed and trying to gather his bearings, “Mmm, that was so good.” Not only was the sex amazing, she felt fulfilled in every possible way, her soul was vibrating with joy. She felt whole.

“Match made in heaven.” Alex finally opened his eyes as he stated, wholeheartedly. He could fucking write it on stone.

With a raise of her brows, she teased, “Doubt this scene is anything worthy of holiness, sweets.”

Alex shook his head and took his time to look her up and down, his cock twitching inside her when seeing himself still buried deep inside her and their slick covered thighs. Her chest was flushed and heaving still, all those bruises looming on her made his mouth water as well as those tits of hers that he couldn’t help but cup softly. She looked at him expectantly with the prettiest smirk he’d ever seen, like she was trying not to show her amusement at the way her body had him hypnotized.

With that view, it was so easy for him to confirm, “Nothing’s near as divine as you are, love.”

She snorted out a laugh and shook her head, brushing the strands of hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead, “I’d say you’re just saying that to get lucky tonight but you’re balls deep inside me and I can already feel your cum dripping out of me.”

He laughed with her and stole a quick kiss that she delved in for a few seconds, breaking it to lift herself up and off him to clean themselves up before it all dripped and stained the settee. But her legs shook intensely and she wasn’t able to even hover above him enough for him to pull out.

With a kiss on her cheek, Alex mumbled, “I got you,” before he carefully stood up as he held her with one arm. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and held on so he could stand up without her slipping off his hold.

Step by step, slow and steady, he carried her and took her to the bathroom, there he carefully got inside the glass doors that surrounded the shower and carefully lifted her up and off him, and onto the floor.

Ella knew right then that every shower she took after he left would be lonely when she didn’t have him massaging her shoulders and her scalp, or when he wasn’t giggling with her as she molded his shampooed hair into odd hairstyles. She would miss the kisses he dropped on her face and her shoulders as the water rained over them, and how he’d intertwine their fingers when walking out of the shower.

“Our coffee is definitely cold by now.” Ella joked when he was plugging the blow dryer to help with her wet hair like he’d done the night before. She half wanted to put on her best puppy eyes and beg him to cancel so they could just go back to bed and cuddle instead of actually setting everything up to be ready for when everyone was meant to come around.

With a fresh set of sheets that they’d just taken out of the dryer, they took on making the guest room’s bed again as their first task. It felt easier this time, and even through the novelty of the scene, Ella felt content and fulfilled like she did when she was at home doing something she’d been doing her whole life. It felt so familiar and just right, her heart swelled in her chest.

When they went out to the back, Ella gasped at the sight of the pool. She could see the blue water catching the sun rays and glimmering beautifully against the pink tiles of the walls of the pool.

She had laughed when Alex ran back inside to bring out a box in which there was a High Green sign just like the one Matt had gotten and put up on the back of his house. Of course, Ella helped Alex put it up and they proudly appreciated how it looked against the tan paint that coated the walls of the house.

There was a big table outside surrounded by a handful of chairs that they moved to the left hand side of the sliding glass doors that gave way into the patio so Alex could set up the food there outside. Thankfully, the pool chairs were perfectly placed around one side of the pool, making the rest of the patio look spacious enough to house the amount of people Alex had invited.

But before they could cheer about having done everything rather quickly, and run back to his bedroom to do fuck all before they needed to get ready, Ella realized she’d come very much unprepared to Alex’s house. She was wearing a new set of his clothes, because hers had been the same she’d been wearing the previous day at work and long forgotten in a corner of his room.

It was about noon when she managed to peel herself off a clingy Alex who was trying to convince her to use one of his shirts and the same shorts she’d been wearing on Friday, but Ella had reminded him of the amount of love bites he’d left on her skin and how she would still need her makeup to cover it if she wasn’t gonna use something with more coverage than her jeans and one of his shirts.

Alex huffed but managed to make a deal with her, one that he didn’t really need to push hard at all for her to accept. There was no way in hell she’d pass on the opportunity of staying over and staying with him every single day until he had to leave.

Ella made it to her house in record time, considering the Saturday traffic and all, and she’d packed everything up in a rush. Her makeup, toiletries, whichever clothes she saw first and deemed okay—she’d gotten annoyed remembering she needed to go to work the last three days Alex had in LA, so she grabbed a handful of clothes to wear to the office—, her camera, underwear and those lingerie sets Katie had convinced her to buy back in April, as well as some things that she quickly plucked out of that fun little box she kept in the back of her wardrobe.

When she came back, Alex had already set all the drinks out on the kitchen island along with glasses for everyone to use. There were so many bottles, Ella actually didn’t know what to expect of the night but she smiled knowing they’d have a nice time.

On the kitchen counter laid many different containers with food: fruit bowls, charcuterie boards, loads of dips for the many crisps Alex had bought, a variety of precisely cut veggies to be dipped as well, brownies and cookies, cheese and crackers, bacon wrapped grilled shrimp, sushi rolls.

Ella’s mouth watered at the sight and she was about to steal a bite of the shrimp when Alex walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “I ordered us some actual food and it’s on its way.”

She smiled and turned in his hold, cupping his face and leaning in to mumble against his lips, “You just know the way to my heart don’t you, Turner?”

By the time the doorbell rang to announce the food was there, Ella had just finished setting her makeup bag and toiletries beside one of the sinks in his bathroom, her clothes were still inside her little carry-on case which Alex had brought into his walk-in closet the second they got to his room.

After eating the lovely chinese food he’d ordered, they made their way back to Alex’s room and he watched attentively as she started getting ready by doing her hair. His eyes followed every move of her hands and the way her lips pursed in concentration when she loosely curled strand after strand of hair until it looked voluminous and shiny. He grew more and more entranced as she put half of it up in a little bun and the rest brushed over her shoulders.

Ella dropped a kiss on his lips when she unplugged her curling iron and walked back into the walk-in closet to get the dress she’d chosen for the evening.

Since she couldn’t really show off her chest or her thighs thanks to the bruises Alex had sucked onto her skin, Ella had chosen a high neck, criss crossed back, long knitted black dress. It covered her whole chest and legs so she only had to worry about covering the love bites on her neck with lots of concealer and a heavy hand of translucent powder.

When Ella walked back into the room with the dress already on, Alex commented how rude it had been of her to change in another room. She’d laughed about it, deeming needy and horny, but he’d nodded and hugged her by the waist only to throw her onto bed and kiss all over her face. She couldn’t even fight the loving attack because if thrashed around too much, she’d ruin her hair entirely and she couldn’t be arsed to start working on it again.

Alex and his puppy eyes, and those lips she couldn’t resist, managed to convince her to cuddle him and kiss him for a few minutes before she could start doing her makeup.

Ella might’ve acted annoyed when she had been able to stand up and felt her hair all crazy, but she was more than happy when seeing him like that. Knowing that he just couldn’t get enough of her filled her insides with warmth.

Like a lost puppy, Alex followed her to the bathroom and he leaned against the door frame while watching her start working whatever magic she did with her makeup on her neck. He was all entranced, fully smitten and eyes glimmering with adoration, watching as she carefully applied products to her face and neck that he had no idea how they worked but she used in a way that just enhanced her beauty and completely hid away all the darkening bruises on her skin.

“Aren’t you gonna go get ready, sweets?” She asked softly, heavily focused on not messing up her eyeshadow as she applied mascara to her lashes, “You’ve been staring at me this whole time and you’re not even ready.”

He hummed, pushing himself off the door frame and walking slowly up to her, giving her time to put her mascara down and check on the mirror that it was alright.

“You’re so gorgeous, darling. I can’t stop looking at you.” He said as he hugged her from behind, kissing the side of her neck a handful of times before looking at her in the eye through the mirror, “Can’t blame me for getting distracted when this is my view.”

He watched as she rolled her eyes and her cheeks tinted even more pink than they already were from the powder blush she’d applied on the apples of her cheeks, “So smooth, Alexander.”

Tapping the backs of his hands softly which were resting on her waist, she waited for him to loosen his hold so she could turn around and rake her fingers through his hair, “Go change so I know if I need to cover up your neck or not.”

Looking up to see his own reflection in the mirror, he nodded knowing that she was right, and she’d taken most of her time covering her neck up than actually putting makeup on her face. So with a quick kiss, he dashed to his wardrobe and chose a simple outfit, a short sleeve red shirt that he made sure to button up as much as he could without feeling uncomfortable and black jeans.

She praised his speed when he came back to her all ready for the evening, and she waved him over towards her so she could cover up the hints of bruises that showed over the collar of his shirt. Her touch had made him melt under her fingertips, he kept letting out soft moans when she grabbed onto his neck to keep him steady as she blended the concealer to cover everything as best as she could.

Alex giggled when she pressed her brush over his neck after she dipped it in the translucent powder, and while she’d tried her best not to laugh, she couldn’t hold in her own giggles when he acted like a child being tickled.

“Can you not gel your hair tonight?” Ella fluttered her lashes as she asked, a soft pout on her lips that she’d painted a natural mauve color with some lipstick she had in her bag. He nodded, rolling his eyes like it was a burden to go along with what she was asking for. She poked his ribs and he jumped, making her cackle loudly before he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder to go back into the bedroom and throw her on the bed.

Ella knew what he was about to do so she clutched onto his wrists and held them away from her, “Don’t tickle me babe, I’m gonna mess my hair up.” And just because he’d seen how much time and effort it had taken, he nodded and leaned in to press a kiss on her lips and then moved to lay on bed, beside her.

Laying on his side, pressing his elbow on the mattress and his chin on the palm of his hand, he looked down at her lying on her back right next to him. She grabbed his free hand and started playing with his fingers, kissing each pad of his fingers and then making a fist to kiss each knuckle, finishing up by kissing the back of his hand and then opening it up to kiss his palm.

Once she was done with her kisses, she intertwined their fingers and Alex swore he could cry at her tenderness.

“Do you think they’ll know if we don’t tell them?” Alex asked after a few moments of silence.

“Breana might.” Ella knew her best friend would be suspicious about it since she’d been blowing up her phone earlier in the day and the director hadn’t known how to reply to her messages without lying so she just left them unopened. “She was the one who convinced me to tell you already, I was gonna wait ‘til today to see if you actually were gonna get with Alexa.”

The singer kissed his teeth and shook his head softly, “You silly thing.”

“I know.” Ella let out a breathy chuckle at her own stupidity, but changed the subject back to the main question, “Think it’d be fun to hide it for as long as we can and see if they suspect anything.”

He frowned, “But I wanna kiss you.”

“Me too but it’ll be fun.” Ella admitted with ease, and when she remembered something she had yet to tell him, she smirked, “And if you’re good, I’ll give you a reward.”

At that, Alex perked up: his eyes widened a little and his brows rose up on his face. He watched as her pupils dilated right before she cryptically explained, “Brought some things with me from home.”

Pure seduction was written on her face when she licked her lips and her teeth sank on her bottom lip, and that was enough to know exactly what she meant by it. “You can’t just say that to me right now.” He groaned, letting his head hang until it fell over her chest. He picked his head up in a second when her chest shook with laughter, “I swear I’ll call everyone and cancel, I don’t fucking care.”

She pursed her lips and shook her head, “Patience is a virtue.”

“But–“

“No buts. Thought you were gonna be good and listen.” She raised a brow in challenge.

Alex huffed at her clear invitation to defy her and see what that would bring, but he bit his tongue and went along with her game, “Alright, I’ll listen.”

Completely satisfied with his response, she smirked proudly again, “I know you will.”

The doorbell ringing startled them out of their bubble, Alex rose to his feet and pulled Ella up to stand with him by the hand he was still holding. Through the peephole, he managed to see a few of his friends and he opened the door with a smile, not letting go of Ella’s hand even under the questioning eyes.

Alex introduced them to Ella and she brightly smiled at them and reciprocated their niceties. She was trying not to chuckle at how hard it had been for Alex not to introduce her as his girlfriend, his awkward silence after saying her name out loud was comical. And it kept happening with each person that came through the door that he introduced to her, all of them expecting the title to be said after Alex lingered on his words instead of sounding resolute.

He was so cute.

Around five in the afternoon was when Jamie and Katie showed up, and at the sight of the first couple of the group to arrive, the pressure to keep their secret under wraps fell heavily on their shoulders.

It only got worse when Nick and Kelly got there and they asked when was it that Ella had gotten there and she’d struggled to answer; Alex had aided her by saying she’d gotten there early to help him around setting everything up and once that was out, Kelly was too focused on scolding Alex for not letting them know he needed help instead of lingering on Ella’s mishap.

Ella was probably on her second glass of wine when Miles came knocking on the front door. Alex had been knee deep in a conversation with Nick and some guy they knew from the city, and the music that came from the speakers he’d set up outside was a little too loud so he didn’t hear the doorbell ringing. Therefore, Ella was the one to go up to the front door and open it. In a blink of a second she was being squeezed tightly by Miles’ arms, swaying side to side and panicking about spilling her wine on Alex’s brand new wooden floorboards.

The scouser didn’t let her stray away from him for a second, not even when he went right into the kitchen and got himself a drink, topping off Ella’s until she squeaked at how much wine he wanted her to ingest.

When Ella walked out with Miles in hand, Alex raised his brows in amusement and excused himself from the conversation he’d been in. Only when Alex went for a hug did Miles let go of Ella and Alex laughed over the scouser’s shoulder when Ella sighed in relief. Still, even then, it seemed like Miles had been suffering withdrawals of their presence for he took the both of them around the party with him to greet everyone and start conversations.

There were no complaints to have though, Miles was a joker and he never failed at making Ella spill tears from how hard she’d laugh at the shit he’d say.

He was so distracting with his jokes and comments that Ella didn’t notice she’d drank her almost full glass of wine in just twenty minutes so she went back inside to get herself a drink of water and then a refill of her wine. Alex followed her inside and no one questioned it, it wasn’t like they didn’t behave like that all the time.

The singer smirked when seeing Ella taking sips of a glass of water as she leaned on her ass on the side of the kitchen island. He walked slowly towards her and caged her in her place by leaving his glass on the marble and placing each hand over the surface of it on each side of her hips.

She put her glass down behind her, lipstick stain on the rim of the glass that had him licking his lips in hunger. After having his mouth on her for twenty four hours, spending almost two hours now without kissing her once was agonizing. He was craving the feeling of her lips on his and he didn’t care if anyone could walk back into the house and find them.

But just as Alex was leaning in, the doorbell rang again and he slumped against her with a sorrowful sigh. A mocking laugh fell from her lips, she was enjoying seeing him slowly crumble away with need. It was hard for her too, lord knew she’d been itching to have her lips all over him for hours now, but it was funny seeing him suffer like that, so obvious.

Pressing her hands on his shoulders, she cocked her head and in an obnoxiously chipper tone, she instructed, “Go on. Be a good host.”

He wouldn’t let her have the pleasure of watching as he struggled to properly greet someone else, so he grabbed her wrist and pulled her along towards the front door.

The second the door opened, Alex and Ella’s faces lit up at the sight of who was standing there. “Zack!” They both said at the same time, but the photographer wasn’t alone and the stunning woman beside him smiled brightly at them as Zackery introduced her as Lola.

“Lola, nice to meet you, I’m Alex,” the singer said with that charming smile of his, turning to his side to add, “And this is Ella…”

Once again, Alex trailed off awkwardly and Zack knew exactly what was going on. He chuckled and added for Alex, “His girlfriend. Finally!”

Alex’s face fell, “How–”

Ella couldn’t help cackling at how naive he was toward his own failure at concealing the news, “Baby, you haven’t exactly been subtle about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the people you’ve introduced me to know I’m your girlfriend too.” She watched as Alex cocked his head, slightly embarrassed, so she turned to the photographer and pointed at him to warn, “But don’t tell anyone, Zack. We're trying to see how long it takes the lads and the girls to notice.”

“Are they all here yet?” Zack asked, enthused to introduce Lola to everyone. They’d only properly met a month before—he’d worked with her on a shoot about a year and a half before and they realized they had friends in common but their schedules never aligned—and gone on about three dates but he had a good feeling about her and he felt the need to introduce her into the friendship group as soon as possible.

Alex nodded, “Just Matt and Bre missing.”

“Right.” Zack shook his head, not surprised at all that the couple who lived closest was late.

But before the photographer could go on, Ella grabbed Lola’s hand and with a smile she said, “I’ll steal this gorgeous lady from you and I’m gonna introduce her to the girls!”

Katie and Kelly sat next to Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, on the pool chairs when Ella came back outside with Lola in tow. Turns out that Lola was a model—which didn’t shock anyone with how absolutely gorgeous she was—and she currently lived in New York, but was visiting LA for a modeling gig that she’d taken upon to have the excuse to see Zack again after he’d just left the big apple a little over a week before.

The sky was painted a beautiful pink and orange as the sun started to set when the girls were giggling and cooing like fools hearing the way her and Zack’s first date had gone like, but then their attention was caught by Alex and Zack coming back outside, followed by Matt and Breana.

Alex and Ella shared a knowing look then, it was now that it all properly started and Ella had to bite her tongue not to giggle like an idiot at the little secret she was meant to keep for a little longer. She thought that if no one was to call them out about it before they left, they’d come clean about it. Her heart jumped in her chest at the prospect of finally letting them all know.

When Matt and Breana finally incorporated the group, Ella knew she and Alex would have to try a little harder so they wouldn’t be too obvious. But that proved to be harder than they expected for they’d always been very touchy feely with each other.

At the start, keeping their hands to themselves had earned them a few looks and Kelly asking if they were alright. Ella had nodded and when the pregnant woman explained how odd it was to see them distancing themselves from the other, the director forced out a few giggles and excused herself as being a little too hot to be hugging Alex. That had proven futile when Katie then asked why she was so covered during a hot summer night, telling her she should’ve chosen a cute little sundress and even offering to take her to Bre and Matt’s so she could borrow a shorter, lighter dress.

So she and Alex started tentatively invading each other’s space more and more every passing minute, realizing just how foolish they’d always been when their behavior towards each other had always translated to something more. Ella let herself melt into him and Alex kept dropping kisses on her skin, they giggled into each other’s ears and fiddled with each other’s fingers as they spoke.

But there was something there, something out of the ordinary that everyone felt. It was palpable and the pair got multiple questioning looks throughout the night, all of which they ignored until Ella said she was gonna get another drink and Alex went along with her.

When they got back inside and into the kitchen, Alex caged her in against the marble of the kitchen island again. This time the wine that she’d been nursing and those whiskey and cokes Alex had been drinking made them a bit more careless about their actions and when they leaned in for a kiss, which exuded need from the second their lips touched, they lost all sense of logic.

Her hands came up to his face and her fingers carted through his hair only to tangle in the strands and pull on them. Alex moaned into her mouth as he pressed his hips forward into hers, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Jamie had been loud when calling out for the two of them, they definitely would’ve been caught prematurely.

Alex had basically thrown himself to the other side of the kitchen island and rubbed the back of his hand over his lips, as if he’d been drinking something and spilled down his chin, when Jamie got to the edge of the open plan kitchen. All the while, Ella had taken sudden interest in every label of each bottle that sat over the marble.

The guitarist knew something was going on, especially when he asked them if all was fine and their answers struggled to go past their lips.

So when Jamie went back outside with a new bottle of beer and a glass filled with rose for his wife, he made sure to tell everyone of his suspicions. Bless Zackery and Lola, they played along as the others threw theories around, nodding and humming as they indulged in the chat and trying their best to not expose the little secret Ella and Alex trusted them with.

“They’re together.” Jamie said entirely sure of his gut feeling, “They’ve gotta be.”

Matt scoffed, “How’d you know?”

The guitarist ignored his tone and explained, “You know the tension that’s always there when they’re together with us. It’s different now, I can’t really explain it but it is.” Katie hummed as she thought about it and actually agreed with him when she started connecting the dots.

The drummer once again, ever the skeptic, continued interrogating Jamie, “So what, you think they’ve been together since when?”

“I’d bet after Tennessee.” Nick smirked, actually believing Jamie could be onto something.

Jamie looked at the bassist and smirked back, “Me too.”

“No, ‘cos then Bre would know. Right babe?” Matt turned to his fiance to ask and she nodded.

“Mhm. And Ella hasn’t said anything.” The model fiddled with her fingers before actually continuing with why she sided with her fiance's logic, “She actually was struggling about her feelings towards him a few days ago.”

But that wasn’t enough to deter Nick, “I would still bet on it.”

Or Jamie, “Me too.”

“You would?” Matt asked, incredulously, and when the pair nodded, he shrugged, “Okay. A hundred quid they’re not together yet.”

“Fine.” Jamie agreed, a gallic shrug that matched his unbothered expression.

Nick seemed just as nonchalant, actually very smug about the agreement, “Helders, this is easy money.”

The drummer was set on his own logic though, so he scoffed and chatted back, “Easy money for me. They’re not together yet but I’m about to change that.”

Jamie and Nick snorted, “Okay, cupid.”

No one knew what exactly Matt was planning on doing to ‘change that’ but he put his plan to work as soon as Ella and Alex were back.

Matt basically let the pair join the conversation he’d started as a distraction for a few minutes before he asked Alex something random about the house. He made Alex take him to see what he was asking about, something about one of his guest rooms, and suggested Ella came along.

The whole group trying hard not to laugh at Matt’s incredibly improvised plan almost ruined his cover, but they managed to hold in their laughter until the three of them walked past the glass doors and back into the house.

“Ladies first,” Matt had said once they got to one of the guest rooms so that Ella would walk in first and, in a blink of an eye, Matt pushed Alex in without warning and slammed the door closed before loudly giving them notice, “You’re not coming out until I say so.”

Ella snorted when hearing that, because the doors locked from the inside so she was pretty sure he didn’t have a say at all in that, “Whatever that means.”

But at the opportunity to have each other alone, together for a little while, Ella and Alex took it and happily sat themselves at the edge of the bed.

Alex grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, a big calloused hand coming to hold her thigh as he sighed, “Finally some peace and quiet.”

“Matt did something right for once.” Ella joked a little louder so, if Matt was still out there, he’d listen to her taunting.

But Matt had decided to go back to the kitchen to wait after giving everyone a thumbs up outside through the glass. So he didn’t hear as Alex shook his head and corrected his girlfriend, “Nah, he already did once asking Breana to marry him. This is the second time.”

Ella hummed in agreement, “That’s right.”

Alex didn’t let another second go to kiss her again, his hand cupping her jaw harshly as his lips intently moved with hers. His tongue slipped past her parted lips and licked into her mouth, moaning when he tasted the red wine she’d been drinking all afternoon. A giggle came from her at his desperation, but he continued making it known with the way his hands started roaming down her body, groping her tits through her dress and stealing the oxygen from her lungs further when he pinched her nipples with his nimble fingers.

Before she could lose herself in him entirely, Ella pulled away and grabbed his wrists as she tutted, “Uh-uh.”

“But–” Alex was quick to try and fight, his wet lips falling into a pout.

She fought the urge to kiss it away and joked, “You can do this, babe. I believe in you.”

“You’re a cruel tease.” Alex groaned, letting his head fall on her shoulder.

“You better get used to it.” Ella replied while bringing her fingers to his head, scratching his scalp softly and making him moan.

He dropped a kiss on the side of her neck and she could feel his smirk against her skin as he said, “Not going anywhere, are you?”

Pulling his hair, she made him come out of his hiding place and look at her, “Do you want me to?”

The shake of his head was decisive, just like his words, “Absolutely not.”

The sweetness that coated her tone as she easily said, “Well I wasn’t planning to,” made Alex fall back onto her lips.

This time, it was sweeter. The I love yous they had shared in the past day all said wordlessly though the movement of their mouths on each other’s. Gracefully stealing each other’s breath and melting into each other’s touch. It was heavenly, and it meant so much more now that they knew how devoted and entirely crazy they were about each other.

The memory of the last time they’d been forced into a room for minutes made her smile like a fool, leaving Alex to kiss her teeth twice before she pulled back, “Have you noticed how stupid we’ve been all along?” She wondered how different everything would’ve been if she’d just told him she liked him back then, because she knew she did.

Alex snorted, “Yeah. Think we came to that conclusion last night, didn’t we?”

“Hmm, yeah.” She agreed, but she realized that very afternoon how oblivious they had been to their own behavior towards each other, how everyone had been right all along, “We’ve always acted like this though, just never kissed.”

“Or shagged.” Alex smirked.

“Or shagged.” She repeated with a smirk of her own tugging at the corners of her mouth. “The girls were right.”

“About what?”

She knew then she had loads of things to tell him, “How we really shouldn’t have called this just a friendship.”

He hummed, understanding what she meant, “There’s always been more.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” She declared, eyes filled with devotion as she stared at his pretty face.

Yet, there was still a lot of regret that settled in the pit of his stomach when he thought about it so he admitted, “There were some things I shouldn’t have done.”

Ella shook her head, knowing that he’d keep on haunting himself with guilt that he needed to shed off him already, she had forgiven all of his wrongs a long time ago. Rubbing soothing circled on his jaw, she whispered, “But it got us here, sweets. And that’s all that matters.”

“I fucking love you.” Alex mumbled against her lips, eyes fluttering close at their proximity.

Puckering her lips, she dropped a chaste kiss on his mouth before reciprocating with ease, “I fucking love you too.”

Loving him was second nature, it just happened and she wouldn’t ever forget because she just did. Alex felt just the same, and he could prove it with the way their lips slotted together perfectly, how right it felt to be held by her as they kissed and how his body couldn’t stop responding to her touch and her presence all over him with soft moans and gasps, the twitch of his cock in his jeans, the buzzing of every nerve ending in his body.

When their lungs burned and they needed to pull back to catch their breath, they just hugged with the biggest grins on their faces. All their worries about distance and the uncertainty of the future disappeared when the constant of their love was so strong and they felt it seeping through their pores.

But they couldn’t revel in the feeling for long since Matt burst through the door and startled them. “Fucking hell!” Alex cursed loudly as Ella clutched a hand over her chest and she tried to regain her breath.

Matt ignored them entirely and rose his brows to question a vague, “So?”

“So, what?” Alex bit back with annoyance written all over his face.

“Did you–” Matt started this time, but ended his sentence with more vagueness, “You know.”

Ella frowned, pursing her lips before chatting back, “Erm… We don’t know, actually.”

“Fucks sake.” The drummer rubbed his face in frustration, “This was my attempt to get you talking…”

Still completely confused, Alex asked, “About what?”

What the pair, who were still hugging, didn’t expect was for Matt to rid off his vagueness and spout out, “About how you’ve been wanting to fuck each other since 2011?”

“Woah, mate,” Alex said at the same time as Ella gasped, “Matt, Jesus Christ!”

Matt scoffed for the millionth time that evening, “Oh, don’t you two start fucking lying. Alex, I caught you–“

Alex knew what he was about to say and though Ella knew already, somehow, he still didn’t want Matt saying that aloud, so he interrupted before Matt could ruin the moment further, “We were talking…”

Ella knew by the way Alex squeezed her thigh that this was it so she smiled brightly as she started, “Yes. I was talking… to my boyfriend.”

It was Matt’s turn to loudly gasp, “What?! Wait, what? That quick?!”

Trying not to burst out laughing, Alex nodded, “Erm, well. You’re only,” he checked the watch that adorned his wrist and finished, “About a day late mate.”

“Fuck off.” The drummer let out in disbelief, “You’re joking.”

Ella shook her head and proudly denied, “We’re not.”

“Really?!” Matt made sure to ask again.

Alex and Ella nodded.

And again, “You’re not taking the piss?”

Ella rolled her eyes and mockingly suggested, “Do you want me to shag him in front of you for proof, Helders?”

Matt gagged loudly then, “God, no. No. Absolutely not.”

The director hummed, “Yeah, thought so.”

With despair, Matt sighed and rubbed his face again, knowing what this meant, “You’ve just made me lose a bet against Jamie and Nick, you insufferable cunts.”

Alex snorted at the clear pain in his voice, he couldn’t not ask, “How much?”

Matt replied with the meekest tone and the most irritated expression on his face, “A hundred quid. Each.”

Ella couldn’t hold back the loud cackle that rumbled through her, contagious as Alex laughed beside her, “What a shame, Matthew.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes knowing they had no pity for him. And then he properly looked at them and saw how close they were, so he grimaced, “God, I regret locking you in here now. Ugh!”

Alex’s brows rose and he reminded his best mate, “S’my house.”

But the drummer ignored his words as he was lost in his head. He shuddered and shared one of his thoughts out loud, “I don’t even know if you’re gonna be worse now or not. Honestly, I'm scared.”

Ella let out another cackle and narrowed her eyes at him, “Shut up, you drama queen!”

“Does Bre know already?” Matt asked, thinking for a second that maybe his fiance had been in it all along and hadn’t said anything to see him suffer over losing a bet, like the tease she was.

But when Ella seriously answered, “No.”

Matt smirked, “Oh, she’s gonna kill you,” and dashed out of the room.

“Matt, no!” Ella yelled out for him but he was long gone. She let her head fall back onto Alex’s shoulder and she sighed, “I hate him.”

“I know.” Alex said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “At least they know now. Can kiss you all I want.”

“Yeah you can.” Ella perked up and sat back up straight, her gaze falling to her boyfriend’s lips and stealing a long sweet kiss before she stood up and called, “Let’s go. But you’re gonna have to hold me back so I don’t commit a crime.”

Alex grinned brightly, “Of course, darling.”

She offered her hand to help him up and he took it, intertwining their fingers as he stood up beside her and once he was on his feet, she started walking towards the door with him following closely behind.

“Hey.” Alex said before they crossed the threshold of the room, tugging on her hand so she turned and crashed against his chest.

Breathless, she looked into his eyes, “Yeah?”

“I love you.” He said quietly, just for her to hear before they could go out and be disturbed by the million questions he knew everyone would ask.

Ella blushed as she smiled at him, her stomach doing somersaults in response to how adorable he was, “You’re so fucking cute.” She kissed him again before mumbling back, “Love you too.”

Apparently, once they walked through the sliding glass doors, the news had spread like wildfire and everyone was gasping and hollering seeing them hand in hand on their way towards the group.

Ella caught the look on Breana’s face in a second, knowing exactly what was going through her head. So she tried to warn her best friend with a, “Don’t–”

That was cut short when Bre said exactly what she’d been thinking, “I told you so.”

“And she said it.” Ella sighed in defeat, earning the laugh of everyone around as well as questions about what she meant by that which Ella quieted down by promising to tell them in a bit.

As they watched Matt grumpily take out the cash from his wallet and handing their respective amount to Nick and Jamie, Miles hugged the new couple and congratulated them for finally realizing how in love they were with each other. Everyone gasped when Alex and Ella thanked Zack and Lola for keeping it hush for a few hours. And the new couple laughed loudly when Zack countered their surprise by calling them out on being too slow to notice what was obviously there.

Now that they could kiss and properly act like a couple, the party felt far sweeter. They went around the party, chatting and meeting more of Alex’s friends, laughing and sharing stories with everyone. The music got a bit louder, and the drinks flowed easier and faster, as well as the food which became more and more scarce as the time passed.

When Josh got there, it was hilarious to hear him yell, “Finally!” when he walked outside and the first thing Matt uttered was that Alex and Ella were together.

It truly felt like they were all celebrating the fact that they’d gotten together at that point and it only made the two of them more and more elated.

When Alex had gone to get Ella another glass of wine, she’d walked over to the speaker and queued up You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac to play next. Just in time for it to start playing, Alex walked back outside and found a smiley Ella staring at him expectantly, waving him over towards her with a cheeky grin.

Matt heard the harmonies loudly coming out of the speakers and he was about to complain about Ella choosing a song she knew he very much didn’t like when turned around and saw her starting to sing along, directing every word to Alex.

She walked to the beat of the song, meeting Alex in the middle as he made his way towards her. He was completely entranced by the way she looked, staring at her adoringly as she swayed her hips to the staring beat of the song.

Plucking the wine glass from his hand so he had a free hand to hold her, her arms flew around his neck and he swiftly wrapped his around her waist, swaying with her as she sang the lyrics out to him.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do / Oh, can it be so / This feeling follows me wherever I go

She continued to sing with a massive smile on her face. She let her head hang back and then came back close to his face with her eyes open and sparkling with love.She pecked his lips quickly, leaving him dazed like she always did when she kissed him, and he swore he had never felt more adoration for someone before. It felt like his chest was about to burst, warmth tickling every inch of him, his lips itching to kiss her properly, his body burning to adore her over and over.

I never did believe in miracles / But I've a feeling it's time to try / I never did believe in the ways of magic / But I'm beginning to wonder why

Her hands went to cup his jaw as she sang the chorus again, staring right into his eyes. They were far too preoccupied with enjoying each other that they hadn’t noticed all eyes on them. She swayed her hips as he held her close and when she’d brought her arms up in the air in pure elation, he had grabbed one of her hands to twirl her around twice and then pull her back into her chest.

Don't, don't break the spell / It would be different and you know it will / You, you make loving fun / And I don't have to tell you but you're the only one

She sang that softly against his lips, Alex stole a kiss that he’d wanted to deepen but she broke it when she leaned back not wanting to miss singing the last bit of the song. Yes, she loved the song but she wanted him to know how hard she’d fallen for him and since she couldn’t do it with her own words, she’d do it with a song.

You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do

Alex held her close, hiding his face in the crook of her neck leaving pecks all over the skin he had available and making her giggle as the song died down. He squeezed her waist as he pulled back up to look her in the eyes and she brought her hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Some other song started playing in the background but they were entranced with their gazes swimming all around each other’s faces, taking in each other under the golden haze of the patio’s lights.

“I love you so much, darling.” Alex was the first to break their silence and she was so glad his hold was tight around her waist because she felt her knees go weak when she heard him say that yet again. The alcohol in her system made her so much more sensible to everything that she now had with him and she could just collapse on the floor from the amount of love she felt for him.

One of her hands came to hold his neck and breathlessly she reciprocated, “I love you more, sweetness.”

Alex shook his head as he leaned in. “Impossible,” he muttered before catching her lips, both of them sighing in relief at the feeling of their lips together again.

Ella’s fingers pressed around his neck, making him blissfully hum in response. Her tongue teased his bottom lip, and he obeyed the silent indication to open his mouth. They swallowed each other’s soft moans when they tasted the alcohol on each other’s tongues, Alex bringing her in closer to his front, tightening his hold on her waist. He held back from the need to squeeze her ass and buck his hips forwards. He wanted her so badly, he needed her right there and then.

“Please tell me it’s an incredibly great idea to kick everyone out right now.” He begged, out of breath after they broke the kiss to get some oxygen back in their lungs.

She chuckled against his lips and shook her head, pulling back a little more to brush his hair back and then let her fingers trail delicately down his pretty face. She knew exactly what he was feeling, because it burned her too but waiting a bit longer, until everyone left, would make it all taste and feel much sweeter.

“It isn’t, love.” She disagreed, a smile on her face from her attempt at trying not to laugh at his despaired face.

His hold on her waist tightened as he pushed his hips forwards subtly, or at least he hoped because he couldn’t help himself. Ella swallowed a moan by biting harshly on her bottom lip, she could feel him starting to get hard and it was all very tempting, especially the tone in his voice when he argued, “But–”

But Ella held the best she could onto her logic and tutted as she remembered what was waiting for them if he pulled through with his promise of behaving tonight, “Good things come to those who wait.”

The reminder of her earlier words were enough for Alex to swallow his pain and bury the hunger she could only satiate for a little longer. He’d do anything she asked for, especially when it promised her to make him all hers afterwards.

It only took a few minutes for Ella to be snatched away by the girls and Alex to be left to fend for himself with the lads. It seemed like after that show of pda, everyone had loads of questions and a separate interrogation for the both of them couldn’t wait more than a few minutes.

Alex tried his best to answer the questions the guys were asking him but he was too distracted by watching Ella sitting on one of the pool chairs, surrounded by the girls, blushing and giggling and covering her face as they scooped everything out of her, question by question.

The faint sound of the doorbell was the perfect excuse for Alex to escape his nosy friends, so he excused himself in a split second to walk back inside and open the front door.

“You’re here!” He greeted with a smile when he opened the door and found Alex standing there, “Hi!”

“Al! Hello!” Her tone was chipper as she greeted him. A whistle came from her when she took a look around his new place, she complimented, “This house is stunning.”

“Ah thank you, thank you.” Alex replied with a soft grin, waving her over to the left side of the room where the gorgeous kitchen was set, “Come in, there’s drinks in the kitchen.”

As Alexa walked in and approached the bottles set on the kitchen island, Alex couldn’t stop himself from eagerly telling her that Ella was there and he was going to get her so she could meet her.

Alexa nodded excitedly, joking about him taking his time because she was indecisive and there were too many types of alcohol to choose from.

The singer wasted no time walking back outside and slowly approaching the group of girls. Leaning in behind Ella, he interrupted the conversation as he kissed her cheek and said, “Love?”

Ella smiled like an idiot and mumbled, “Sweetness?”

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Alex said vaguely.

A spark of curiosity lit up inside her as she let out a soft, “Oh?” So it wasn’t long that it took her to excuse herself and hold Alex’s hand as he guided her back inside the house.

When they crossed the living room and walked past the edge of the kitchen, Ella was shocked to see Alexa standing in the kitchen.

The quiet, “Oh,” that Ella let out made Alexa look up from her glass she’d just filled with white wine.

“Hi!” The model said excitedly, that bright smile of hers reaching her eyes as they crinkle around the edges in such an endearing way. “I’m Alexa, nice to finally meet you!”

Ella was breathless but she reciprocated the enthusiastic sentiment, “Hi! Nice to meet you too.”

Alexa went for a quick hug that Ella welcomed and when the model pulled back, she gasped, “You’re even prettier in person, bloody hell.”

“Oh stop it.” Ella blushed hard when Alexa said that. Ella had just been breathless over the fact that she was even more perfect in person, as if that was humanly possible. When seeing Ella struggle to find her words, Alex wrapped an arm around her waist and giggled, dropping a kiss on her cheek, bringing her back to reality with the feeling of his lips on her skin. Ella smiled and told Alexa, “I was about to say that about you.”

“Ah, you’re too kind.” Alexa said like she didn’t hear that on the daily, waving Ella off jokingly. The model smirked then, seeing Alex’s hold on Ella’s waist, taking it as a sign that it had finally happened, “So… he finally told you?”

Ella giggled pathetically, melting into his chest and nodded, “He did, yeah.”

Alexa cooed, placing her hands over her heart, “You two look adorable together. So happy for you guys.”

Alex hummed, “Thank you ‘Lexa.”

Going back to get her glass, Alexa took a sip and told Ella with a funny look on her face, “Gave him quite a pep talk in New York last week about it. He was just wasting precious time, wasn’t he?”

Ella’s stomach flipped at the mention of New York, this time with embarrassment rather than dread. She cocked her head to the side and pouted at the mention, “Ah, I think we were both making that mistake.”

Alexa cooed again like it all was a cute little tv show drama that now had reached its happy ending. She raised her glass as if making a toast, “Well, no point in dwelling in the past now that you’re finally together.”

“That’s very true.” Ella agreed, raising her own glass and smiling when Alexa got closer to clink them.

After another leisurely sip of her white wine, she inquired keenly, “Did he tell you about my request for a photoshoot?”

“Oh yeah, he did!” Ella smiled as she nodded, still cozied up in Alex’s arms. “Just let me know when and we can plan something, brainstorm ideas for concepts and play around with what we come up with.”

“Sounds amazing. I’ll definitely let you know when I get a hold of my schedule.” Alexa promised. A smirk came to her face when she knew what she could say to take the piss out of Alex who was just silently witnessing the conversation, “Though I would cancel anything for you to make me look as good as you do in those pictures.” She whispered loudly on purpose, and winked when she added, “He showed me his favorite ones.”

Ella couldn’t help blushing, but a smirk broke on her face as well. She squirmed in Alex’s hold, purposely brushing her ass on his front, she heard him hiss in her ear as she said, “Has he? You’ll have to let me know which ones are they ‘cause he has yet to tell me.”

“That’s just plain rude of you Alex.” Alexa scolded playfully with a faux frown on her face.

Ella shook her head and shrugged, “Seems like he doesn’t want any new ones.”

Alexa laughed loudly when Alex’s face fell at Ella’s words. He scoffed and pinched her waist, making his girlfriend yelp before he scolded, “Can’t believe you’ve met her a second and already teaming up against me.”

“Hmm I love her.” Alexa stated, snatching Ella away from his hold to throw her arm over Ella’s shoulders. She started walking away with Ella beside her, Alex calling her out for stealing his girlfriend behind them. When they walked out of the kitchen, Alexa gasped, noticing the amount of people outside, “Bloody hell. There’s loads of people here! Where are the girls? And where’s that menace of a Scouser? Is he here yet?”

Ella chuckled at the mention of Miles, “Yeah. He’s out by the pool, probably trying to throw Matt and Nick in.” He’d been joking about doing it since he arrived, so she had no doubt he would still be trying to find the perfect moment to do it.

“Oh I’m sure I can push him in without him noticing.” Alexa smirked, shedding herself off Ella’s side to give her and Alex a moment alone and calling out a “See you around!” before walking outside.

“That went better than I expected.” Ella thought out loud.

“Of course it did.” Alex said as he walked up behind her, kissing her temple when he was pressed against her back. “No one can’t just not fall in love with you as soon as they meet you.”

A string of giggles fell from Ella’s lips as she turned around to face him, her arms wrapping around his neck, she cocked her head to the side and teased, “Speaking from experience?”

“Definitely.”

Her laugh was cut short as he pressed his lips against hers, her amusement being swallowed by the way he eagerly licked into her mouth. Her fingers tangled into his hair and she pulled harshly on it when his hands fell from her waist to her ass, cupping it before harshly kneading it with greedy fingers.

She moaned into his mouth and he gracefully swallowed the sound before pulling back and declaring, “I love you.”

After stealing a little peck from his lips, she replied, “Love you more.”

But Alex shook his head in disapproval, and Ella knew just what he was about to say. So before he could deny her words by swearing it was ‘impossible’, she kissed him hard and eager, successfully leaving him stupefied when she pulled back to scorn him.

“Stop it before we actually fight over that.” He opened his mouth to speak but she glared at him and that look was the only thing it took for him to keep the words to himself. She sighed, “Looks like I’m actually gagging you tonight.”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After the housewarming party, the band had four more days in Los Angeles before they had to leave.

Since Ella had kept her word on Saturday night and rewarded Alex in ways he could have only dreamed of, the two of them woke up rather late on Sunday morning. They would’ve kept sleeping if it wasn’t for the fact that their friends were blowing up their phones and it had gotten so obnoxiously incessant that they had ended up having to answer one of their million calls.

It was Katie, the one calling this time, and she wanted them to join them for a trip to the beach and then out for drinks later in the night. They all knew Ella had to go to work on Monday and every day that followed until the band had to leave so they had to take advantage of the only full day they all had together to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Knowing how long it’d be until she could see everyone again, Ella accepted in a heartbeat and her own enthusiasm was what finally got Alex up from bed.

She certainly didn’t regret agreeing to it when they all had the loveliest day at Manhattan beach, laughing and having drinks, taking pictures and running in and out of the water. She and Alex had been teased endlessly for the amount of love bites littered all over their bodies and the little marks and bruises in other parts of their bodies from things their friends didn’t even want to know about.

“You animals.” Nick had said when noticing the bruises on Ella’s ankles and the faint marks on Alex’s cheeks, which the bassist could guess what they were since he’d been complaining about his jaw aching here and there.

Later that night, after they all went back to their respective houses and hotel rooms, they met back up at a karaoke bar where they had way too much fun in just the few hours they managed to stay there. They had all begrudgingly left the place when it closed at two in the morning, pouting about the fun time being over way too soon.

It had been horrendously difficult for Ella to wake up on Monday when her alarm ripped her off her peaceful slumber. Alex’s arms around her waist and his legs tangled with hers tempted her to stay in bed but when she remembered all that she had to start that week at work, she knew she had to force herself out of bed as soon as she could.

When she was ready for the day, after making herself and Alex a quick breakfast that she left there for him, she went back to his room and kissed him goodbye. He had been half asleep still, but when he woke up without her next to him, he knew he hadn’t been dreaming. After he got ready for the day, he found the breakfast she’d made him and he’d sent her a horrendously cringe and clingy string of texts that she giggled about when she saw them at work.

That afternoon, she’d been surprised to come back to his house and walk into the completely blacked out house which was decorated with a path of candles and rose petals that she followed out and found the cutest little set up for that candlelit dinner he owed her.

She enjoyed it thoroughly, complimenting him over and over for how good it was and how well he’d done making her favorite dish. And when dinner was over, and they were finally in bed, she made sure to let him know just how much she’d appreciated it by using her mouth and her spit coated hand to bring him pleasure, whispering sweet nothings and telling him just how much in love she was with him over and over until he came all over her face.

Tuesday morning had brought even more of a challenge for her to wake up. She was too content in Alex’s arms and she had no intention of moving so she kept snoozing her alarm, time and time again, somehow managing to go back into deep slumber after every ring of her phone.

But Alex had woken up around the fourth time she did that, and despite him shaking her and whispering her name to get her to wake up, she continued softly breathing in and out, not peeling her eyes open for a thing.

He watched the time on the screen of her phone when the alarm rang again, and instead of snoozing it, he fully just turned it off and took it upon himself to wake her up. So he started kissing all over her face, down her neck and her clothed chest and abdomen but it wasn’t until he got to kissing her inner thighs that she started waking up.

Waking up with his lips burning a trail down her body assured for her to blink herself awake with need buzzing through every one of ehr nerve endings, pleasure dripped down her spine in white heat that ran down straight between her legs.

He stopped when he saw her open her eyes, knowing his plan had worked. But Ella cradled the back of his head and pouted, spreading her legs open and wordlessly coaxing him to continue and to go all the way because there was no way she’d be getting out of that bed without having his mouth lapping at her cunt like a starving man until she came.

That was the reason why she’d been late to work that day and after being distracted the whole time she was in the office, her brain filled with the memory of his head between her thighs and his tongue working her up to her orgasm, Ella knew she had to ask for the following day off to properly enjoy Alex’s last day in Los Angeles.

Her plans for Wednesday had been less lewd. They had both slept in, heavenly giving into their laziness and staying in bed for far longer than necessary. She’d woken him up when it got closer to midday by peppering kisses all over him and then coaxed him out of bed to the kitchen where she made breakfast as he watched.

Then, they both got ready for the rest of the day with a shower—which they definitely elongated as they got lost in each other’s touch and ended up with Alex pounding into Ella from behind against the glass walls of the shower—and once they changed, they rushed out the door to make their way to Los Feliz and catch the early day screenings at the theater to have the whole place to themselves. It was their first proper date to Los Feliz now that they were official and Ella had been skipping down the pavement and swinging their interlocked hands as they went around the boulevard.

A pout had made its way to her face when it was time to go back home, Alex had offered to drive and he’d kept a hand on her thigh and asked her to play her music so they could sing along together. He didn’t want to see her sad yet, even though his heart was breaking little by little as the clock's needles moved forward and closer to the time he had to leave for the airport.

Once back at Alex’s, the both of them started packing. Alex packed to leave for Europe to resume the tour and Ella to go back home now that Alex was leaving LA.

When Alex went to the bathroom to get a few of his things, he quickly realized just how much he loved seeing their things scattered around in the same space and knew it was far too soon but how could he not think about her moving in when all he wanted at that very moment was for them to be together all day, every day.

So, hours later, when they were ready to go and leave to the airport, Alex gave her one of the keys to his house.

Ella was slightly shocked so the soft, “Why?” slipped past her lips without her wanting to.

“So you can come and go as you please.” Alex replied with a sweet smile on his face, his voice so soft it felt like a caress in her ears.

“Alex,” she whined softly. Yes, it was way too soon, they hadn’t even been together for a full week by then but she really wanted to keep it. But it wasn’t that the reason why she complained, it was because she didn’t know if she could take the reminder that he wasn’t gonna be there for weeks.

“Someone’s gotta enjoy the pool.” Alex joked to soothe her, recognizing the despair that shined through her eyes, it was burning him inside.

She snorted, “That’s actually tempting.”

“I know it is. Fucking hundred degrees out here darling.”

Ella hummed, a blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks, her teeth sunk in her bottom lip as she debated, “Well someone’s gotta take care of your house, no?”

But that wasn’t why Alex wanted her to take the key. “Don’t even think about it,” he frowned and shook his head, letting her know what he had actually planned, “I’ll have people come over to clean it. I just want you to enjoy it.”

“But you’re not here.” Ella argued in a whisper. How could she enjoy it when it would be the reminder that he wasn’t there?

He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he said, “I know, but it’ll make me happy to know you are here.”

She smirked, pulling back so he could open his eyes and look at her as she teased, “Already wanna wife me up, Turner?”

His smile reached his eyes hearing that, and he had to hold himself back from nodding eagerly at the suggestion. He was completely sure he wanted to call her his wife in the future, and even if it was crazy to admit this soon, he knew he also wanted her to be the mother of his children. His pupils dilated at the image of her swollen belly carrying his child, fucking hell did he love her with all that he was.

Instead of all that, he played it off suavely, “Well if you’re also considering it.”

Her cheeks hurt from how hard she was smiling, but she couldn’t help it when he said things like that. “You’re smooth,” she called out with a raise of her brows.

And, of course, her boyfriend puffed his chest out and nodded, “I know.”

“Okay c’mon, we gotta go.” She said as she put the new key in the front pocket of her jeans.

But Alex didn’t move, instead he leaned in and hugged her around the waist, hiding his face in the crook of her neck to mumble, “I don’t wanna.”

He surprised her by easily picking her up off the ground, making her drop her bag to the floor as she yelped and walking up to the settee to lay there with her on top of him, “Just wanna be here with you all day, every day.”

She hummed, picking her head up to look at him beneath her, pecking his lips once, twice and then pulling back to say, “Me too baby. But that’s the cost of being a rockstar, every country wants you to step in it.”

He sighed, her fingers starting to brush through his hair making his eyes grow heavy, “Wish I could just take you on tour with me.”

“Yeah, me too.” She agreed with ease, thinking that nothing would be better than that.

Alex continued fantasizing out loud, “Travel the world with you, live every experience with you, seeing the crazy crowds everywhere we go.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Ella promised with a kiss to the tip of his nose, the pads of her thumbs rubbing softly on his lids to make him open his eyes again, so he could see the determination in her eyes as she said, “Now we’re together and we got this yeah? It’ll be the same as before, you’re just actually my boyfriend now so I can tell everyone to fuck off when they interrupt our facetimes at work.”

He giggled like a fucking fool and hummed, “Mhm, baby. You tell them.” She snorted before dipping down to kiss his lips softly for a few seconds, pulling back only to hide in the crook of his neck and have one last cuddle before they had to go.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

By the time Ella and Alex walked into the airport and got to their airline section, everyone was there. They were all waiting in line to walk up to the check-in counters, and with the amount of stuff they needed to take with them, Ella knew it’d take a while.

So she went to sit next to Mia, who was also staying in Los Angeles like Ella, not going on tour with her boyfriend either. And thankfully they had each other, going through the same type of heartache, as they watched everyone go through slowly until it was time for them to head to security.

The security line was already so long and the airport was packed so they all needed to go in as soon as possible, which meant that goodbyes would have to happen right then and they’d have to be brief.

“I hate this.” Alex mumbled into her neck as they hugged goodbye.

“Fucking sucks.” Ella struggled to say as her eyes welled up with tears that she knew would spill as soon as she looked at his face.

Alex clutched her even tighter when hearing the heaviness in her voice, “We’ll be alright yeah? You’ll be sick of me by the time we come back to California.” He joked to settle her a little and he smiled when he heard her giggling.

“You wish.” She sniffled as the laughter had helped the tears start running down her cheeks. Sighing, she pulled back and cupped his face, “We got this, sweets.”

“We do.” He promised, bringing his hands up to her face to wipe away her tears. But they wouldn’t stop falling and he started tearing up at the sight. His hands held her face delicately but his words were determined as he said, “I love you so fucking much, darling. I’ll never let you forget it.”

Ella had to press her lips together in order not to sob, and taking a deep breath first, she managed to whisper, “Love you lots and lots and lots, sweetness.”

When their lips met, it tasted salty from the tears. That only made Alex move more intently against her mouth, hold her even closer to his body but not out of lust, because he needed the both of them to memorize how it felt to be properly pressed against each other. The way in which she held his face exuded longing, prematurely really because he was still there, but she was already mourning his presence beside her on the daily. The kiss was sad, a goodbye that hurt three times as much as the one they shared when he was leaving Tennessee.

But Alex couldn’t help but smile in content when he knew he would get to properly kiss her goodbye every time he were to leave from then on, like he’d been wanting to do for so long, “I can’t believe I can finally do that.”

“What?” She sniffled again, her sadness not only clouding her vision with tears but her thoughts for she couldn’t think about what he meant.

“Actually kiss you goodbye.” Alex answered breathlessly, a feeling coming over him in the most overwhelming way; a tear ran down his cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

Despite the ache that ripped through their chests, she knew what he meant by that. The final piece of the puzzle fell and the air changed around them when it all just felt right, once and for all.

Ella hummed, her pout changing into a massive grin as she concluded, “Finally.” 

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: So... what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it and you can yell at me freely all you want, I know I made you lot go through it to get to this moment lolllll Hope you found it all worth the wait!!! Thank you for your constant support and your comments and messages, I appreciate them with all my heart!!! xxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[wildlyminiaturesandwich]

🏠 Tiny Living Stuff Pack Review 🏠

Thank you to the EA Game Changer Program for providing me with the opportunity to play with Tiny Living Stuff early!

I didn’t have a lot of time to play around with this pack because I had some real life obligations during the early access time frame and the embargo time was once again at a ridiculous hour of the morning for me (don’t get me started on that mess), but here’s what I did learn about the new Tiny Living Stuff Pack.

I feel like I need to say straight away that this is my favourite stuff pack so far. The reason I feel the need to say that is because when I sat down to go through the notes I’d made during early access and type up this review, the more I got into it, the more it started to sound... aggressively ranty 😬

I was going to try to tone it down a bit, but honestly there are already so many reviews out there that gloss over the glaring bugs that I figured I might as well just leave it. It’s my honest opinion of the pack, and what’s the point of doing a review if I’m not giving my honest opinion, no matter how ranty? lol

I’m gonna put this under a cut, because spoilers.

— What I loved —

🏠 Create-a-Sim:

I’ve been saying for a long time we need more comfy casual clothing for our sims and with this pack we finally got some! LOOK AT THOSE JAMMIES!

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting any CAS items with this pack, but we got some amazing clothing that I will no doubt use on literally every sim I make lol

The hairs are good too, and more options are always appreciated, however I honestly feel like we already have different variations of most of them.

The best part about the hairs is that every single one of them has been made available for kids and toddlers! Apparently one of the gurus found a quick and cost effective way to convert hairs, so hopefully we’ll see this happen more and more with each future pack!

🏠  Buy Mode:

The Buy Mode objects are 100% the star of this pack for me. I don’t think there is a single thing in the buy catalogue of this pack that I didn’t absolutely adore! Some of the objects have issues — and I’ll get into that in a bit — but overall I love, love, LOVE the general concept of everything.

[click for larger]

The objects in this pack were based off the Scandinavian concept of Hygge and I really think they hit the nail on the head! Everything feels so cozy and comfy, with a little hint of Ikea to the furniture and I just... I can’t even really put into words how much I love it all. I honestly can’t remember a single previous pack (expansion, game or stuff) where I have loved every item in the buy catalogue, there’s usually always something that’s like “Meh” or “I don’t like this at all” to me, but the objects in this pack are 10/10.

I also love that they combined so many things. Like the murphy bed with the couch on the front (though I do wish we were also given that couch as a separate couch as well) and the TV unit that’s also a bookcase AND a stereo. And I really appreciate that they went back and redid some of the old book ends to make them functional bookcases. 

— What I didn’t love —

🏠 Create-A-Sim:

I say it with every pack and I’m going to continue to say it even if no one is listening...

WHERE ARE THE KIDS, TODDLERS AND ELDERS CAS ITEMS!?

I know the kids and toddlers got some hairs but that doesn’t make up for the serious lack of CAS content that every age range besides young adults has and it’s getting really hard to make unique sims when there isn’t enough content to choose from.

🏠 Build Mode:

For a pack dedicated to Tiny Living, I was really disappointed to see literally only one door in the build catalogue. ONE. I was expecting some small windows, maybe some sliding doors, but nope; just one door. Hell I would have even been happy to have less CAS stuff in exchange for some build stuff!

I get why they haven’t added bunk beds and spiral stairs yet, those are a lot of work and I’m ok with waiting until they perfect them BUT this would have been the perfect pack to add ladders. We already have ladders in game that are fully animated (pool and island living ladders) it really wouldn’t take that much work to make ladders work between floors. I HATE the idea of having to put stairs outside in tiny builds and ladders are the ultimate in space saving “technology"; I feel like the team really dropped the ball on that one.

🏠 Murphy Beds:

Listen, I love the concept of the murphy beds and the design of them looks really cool but I can’t see myself using them at all as they are currently.

I was almost immediately disappointed with them when I realised they were remote controlled. I know that it makes it easier for the Sims Team so they don’t have to work so hard to animate them, but I really wanted sims to pull them down by hand. The reason I wanted murphy beds in the game was because they would fit better with small apartments and homes of sims who don’t have a lot of money, and to me a remote controlled murphy bed sounds incredibly expensive. 

Oh but don’t worry, because apparently the remote control is invisible?

Now, the version of the game that the Gurus were using for the stream didn’t have invisible remotes BUT they use a dev build of the game that isn’t the same as ours, and many other Game Changers are also saying its invisible for them too, so I dunno what happened but that’s just one of the things that needs to be fixed.

The other issue, which is the biggest deal breaker for me, is that the damn things constantly break! And I do mean CONSTANTLY. You know how when you buy a cheap stereo or sink it’ll last a few days/uses before it breaks? Yeh, not the case for the murphy beds. They break instantly, and they break often.

I was REALLY looking forward to murphy beds being added to the game and I thought if there’s one thing I need to do above all else with this pack, it’s test out those glorious murphy beds! Well... I managed to play for roughly three sim days and here’s what happened during that time:

Bed 1 (never used before) got stuck on first use and squashed Sim 1

Bed 1 got stuck on second attempt and killed Sim 1

Bed 1 got stuck on third attempt and squashed Sim 2

Bought brand new bed

Bed 2 pulled down without issue for Sim 2

Bed 2 broke at 11pm while Sim 2 was sleeping and squashed Sim 2

Sim 2 refused to sleep for 3 hours out of fear while Sim 3 was able to sleep in broken, sparking bed for that time without issue because they weren’t in it when it squashed Sim 2

Sim 2 repaired bed while Sim 3 continued to sleep

After 3 hours Sim 2 went back to sleep and Bed 2 broke again almost immediately

Bought brand new bed. Again.

Bed 3 got stuck on first attempt and squashed Sim 2

Bed 3 got stuck on second attempt and squashed Sim 3

Bed 3 pulled down without issue on third attempt for Sim 3

Sims 2 and 3 slept for another 2 hours before Bed 3 started sparking again but didn’t squash them

Woke Sim 2 up to repair bed and immediately sent Sim 2 back to bed (the fear moodlet only happens if they get squashed but the bed can break without squashing them apparently?)

Bed 3 broke again 3.5 hours later and squashed both Sim 2 and 3

I rage quit.

For the so-called “Hero” object of this pack, this is just unacceptable. The percentage for breakage REALLY needs to be turned down because in my opinion they’re not usable as they are.

And even if it weren’t for all the bugs, I probably still wouldn’t use them in tiny homes because I don’t think they’re space saving at all. They take up exactly the same amount of space as normal beds do; 6 tiles. You can’t put anything in front of them or around them if you want them to be functional on both sides, and you can’t even put dangling lights above them because I guess, realistically, the bed would hit them on the way down?

It’s especially annoying with the murphy bed that has the couch attached. It would have been really nice to add a small coffee table or ottoman in front of it but you can’t because then your sims won’t be able to use the bed. I really wish they had have made at least the little round coffee table and the ottoman from this pack inventory-able. Sims could have them out during the day, and throw them in their inventory when they need to use the bed at night, then place them back down in the morning when they wake up.

I think it’s this aspect — not being able to put things around/in front of the murphy beds — that actually annoys the most; the bugs will probably be fixed eventually but I can’t see this ever changing. I spent most of the three days we had for early access trying to work out how to fit a murphy bed into a 32 tile micro home without having it just sitting in the middle of an empty room and let me tell you, it’s not worth the frustration.

— The Verdict —

🏠 7/10 Would go Tiny again

As I said, this is my favourite stuff pack so far and I will get a lot of use out of the CAS and Buy stuff, but because of all the things I mentioned above I can’t give it a 10/10.

I do love the content of this pack, but right now I’m getting kind of fed up with the issues that keep happening with every pack lately. It’s all stuff that should have been caught by QA testing, stuff that is glaringly obvious to the average player, and stuff that would have only taken two minutes of gameplay to find out was a problem. I don’t know who tests these packs, but whoever it is needs to step up their game in a big way.

Overall I really do love the pack, but some major aspects fell a little flat for me. And the fact that that’s not at all a surprise, and that this feeling of “I like it, but...” has become the norm with new packs is really quite sad.

If you have questions about Tiny Living Stuff, feel free to drop an ask in my box, anon will be on right up until the release 😊

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Fruits Basket 2019 2nd Season Ep18 [”Do You Wanna Kiss?”]:

After last week’s [relatively] fun and light-hearted school vacation, this week’s episode was one big exploration of severe, systematic child abuse :) Fun times all around here in Fruits Basket :)))

Thoughts under the cut.

Just to start off, this episode adapted chapters 78 and 79. So we’re still on the same track as the manga, but I think they’re going to move things around a little bit for the next two episodes just so they can combine similar scenes together. The next episode title is taken from chapter 80, but I think they’ll combine that with chapter 82, since those two chapters are both focused mainly on Tohru and Rin’s interactions, while chapter 81 shifts the focus over to Yuki and the student council, which then connects into chapters 83 and onward. So I think they’ll just swap things around a bit so that the next episode includes all the stuff with Tohru and Rin, and then the episode after that will move over to the Yuki stuff.

Anyway, this episode was extremely good, but also kinda hard to talk about because it’s so intently focused on some depressing subject matter, lol. The series has had these sorts of episodes from day one, but I feel like there’s always been something distinctly horrific about the events of this arc, in both the manga and the anime. I think part of it is that the depictions of child abuse and trauma are a lot more “raw”, in a sense, than most earlier parts of the story. It really forces you to get in the shoes of an abuse victim for basically the entirety of the episode, and it can be really emotionally draining.

I wanna get my more negative opinions on this episode out of the way, so I’ll just say that it kinda frustrates me how much this episode’s hard-hitting, raw writing highlights how I still wish that it didn’t take so long for Rin to actually be introduced. It still just feels really awkward to me that she only shows up like a third of the way into the series, when all of these big character-defining moments have already happened to her, and we have to find out about them through basically a whole episode’s worth of flashbacks. From basically this point onward I really like the role she plays in the story and her as a character in general, but it feels like it took too long to get here. 

Which reminds me that I distinctly remember being kinda confused during a lot of this section in the manga specifically because there were so many flashbacks we kept moving between, and it was just hard to keep track of. I think the anime did a lot to improve that just by giving everything a more grounded feeling through all the detailed backgrounds and voice-acting and so on, but the manga being a lot more vague about everything made it kinda confusing, which I think was a pretty big part of why Rin’s whole character just didn’t work for me when I first read the manga.

Also, this isn’t really a complaint or criticism or anything, but this episode is one of the big moments that makes it pretty much impossible for me to forgive Akito to the extent that the story seems like it wants me to by the time it ends. Obviously we’re not meant to *entirely* forgive her for anything, but I still feel like she got off too easily. But we’ll get to that when we get to that, I suppose.

Anyway, with that out the way, this episode really reminded me of a lot of stuff I’ve been thinking about lately to do with parenting and child abuse and so on. Even though I’ve never really experienced child abuse, especially not to this extent, it’s a topic that I’ve always cared a lot about. It’s kinda hard to explain, but the whole process of being born and growing up as a disabled person has made me think a lot about the idea of parenting, and how we treat children. Obviously child abuse can happen to anyone, for any reason, but a lot of it is specifically caused by parents not being able to properly handle raising a child with disabilities or special needs. Which is basically what happens in this series, in a sort of metaphorical way.

I’ve been raised by a loving and supportive family, but that’s also made me acknowledge the fact that I got lucky, and that things could have turned out so much differently for me if I had just been born to a different family. One story I’ve heard a lot from my mother is about how when I was a lot younger, she was regularly visited by doctors and nurses and so on that specialize in raising disabled children, and they were surprised at how there were so many things my mother already did that most parents with disabled children had to be taught how to do. Even something as relatively simple as actually talking to and engaging with a baby in spite of them being deaf, blind, or otherwise unresponsive, is something that just doesn’t necessarily come naturally to everyone. Sometimes parents actively lash out at their children because they think they’re defective and they don’t know how to handle them, sometimes parents simply neglect them because they don’t really see them as being human, and sometimes they force themselves to act normally while refusing to properly acknowledge and grapple with whatever condition their child has, until one day they inevitably snap and it just falls apart.

Which is why it’s so important to have supportive resources for parents in these sorts of situations. To be honest, simply not knowing how to handle a child with disabilities or special needs doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person or a bad parent. Not everyone has all of that knowledge and experience. So there needs to be people who can support them and educate them to make up for that, and to help them live as a functioning, happy family.

This is basically a big part of why it’s such a bad thing that the Soma family is so secluded and insular. They actively reject outside ‘interference’ and simply rely on the things they already know and the traditions they’ve been following for generations. They’re raised to only care for and connect with each other, and to never leave their inner circle. Even the hospital we’ve seen various characters get admitted to is apparently run by the Somas, just to hammer in how dangerously isolated the whole situation is. You always need to be receptive to outside help and education if you want to actually be able to live a good life.

You do of course sometimes get people like my mother who just instinctively know how to do a lot of these things, but even she needed help and assistance from various sources to get by, and it’s not like she even understood everything that was wrong with me before having it explained to her by doctors and so on.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that support networks and education tools are extremely helpful to at least somewhat preventing child abuse and neglect, and this whole story is filled with examples of how families can just spiral out of control when they lack those things.

Anyway this episode fucked me up, lmao.

[dumbdancemomssideblog]

S1E1: The Competition Begins

okie dokie first ever episode of dance moms rewatch starts now :0 i actually remember watching this the very first time it aired on lifetime because i was channel surfing and saw a commercial for it earlier that day. that was the summer between 8th and 9th grade. ah memories... i didnt know what to expect because i did dance when i was a kid but not on a competition team and it was mostly ballet so i was pretty unfamiliar with this whole world. 

anyway lets begin. this is probably gonna be a longer post than what i’ll end up writing for the other episodes in season 1 bc the first episode introduces so much info, just a heads up

Act 1: (aside: yes its insufferable to divide this into “acts” when its really just like “segments separated by commercial breaks” but thats how they’re called in actual tv scripts so im just going with that cuz i cant think of a better/easier way uwu)

god this is so fucking early 2010s lmao

i miss these days where they were just talented nobodies from pittsburgh on a low budget reality tv show that nobody even knew would be successful. and the bad hair and makeup but idk if that was also just a 2011 thing lol

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES GREEN SCREEN INTROS IM DYING

the chalkboard !!!! they werent doing the pyramid on the mirror yet 

(apparently abby never did anything similar to the pyramid thing but the producers made her and it became a whole Thing on the show and thats why the moms were like wtf is this bullshit the first week)

mackenzie looks like a toddler. chloe is so tiny. theyre the 2 who changed the most physically over the course of the show

i remember watching this for the first time being used to ballet lyrical and jazz but never having done or really seen acro/gymnastics in dance choreo and being SO flabbergasted. i was thinking “a chin stand is not dancing what the actual hell” and yknow what? i was right

melissa: “my boyfriend knows how much i spend on dance because he signs the checks...............hermehhemrherrmehermh” (the most awkward laugh omg)

maddie is wearing a fucking bumpit in her hair i cannot

melissa deadass just said out loud “im here for my daughter im not here to make friends” ok everybody mark that one off on your catty women’s reality tv show bingo card!

camera man accidentally getting in the shot filming right in front of the huge wall-mirror.... what is this, amateur hour? i’ll let it slide since its the first day of filming rehearsal but step it up, boys

aw i forgot about maddie getting sick and crying :/ poor kid

melissa saying “i cant stand a chid that’s sick” sounds so edited like the intonation made it seem to me like they just cut her off mid-sentence i love lifetime

oh this was still when they were wearing normal stuff to class/rehearsal like black leotards bc they werent getting sent a trillion crazy 2-piece dancewear outfits for free yet bc they werent famous, man those were the days

Act 2:

[obligatory b-roll footage of downtown pittsburgh] 

the maddie chloe paige trio !!!! this is making me feel so nostalgic

“knees together, paige. you’re bow-legged, you need to fix that”

“you’re tall, you’re skinny, you’re a beautiful girl, you can do better than this. FOCUS” shes like 10 abby what the hell

“people think im tough and i guess i am but i would rather be the one to make your kid cry in the privacy of my studio than at an open-call audition in front of hundreds of people”

okay unpopular opinion alert: i agree with a lot of what abby says about stuff like this but her delivery is flawed, to but it euphemistically, that being said i think the production team of the show and the fame inflating her ego changed all of this somewhere over the course of the second season and its really sad to see :/ i can expand on that thought later tho

aw paige crying bc abby correcting her (but not saying anything personal or out of line, just technique corrections (at based on what we were shown, we dont know everything she said oop)) shes a sensitive kid she never should have been put on this show :( 

paige looks exactly like her mom i didnt realize that before

nia and holly were done so dirty throughout the whole series in terms of the narrative the producers set up about nia being the weakest link :/ 

Act 3:

cathy’s entire involvement in the show from the very beginning was so painfully obviously scripted (or at least heavily staged) 

vivi was also done dirty by the show’s narrative and she was only 6 and they presented her as like the butt of the joke bc her mom’s “character” was crazy and also she wasnt good at dance. i wonder how she feels about the show now that shes a teenager hmm. she really seemed not to give a fuck about dance for better or for worse when she was a kid tho so maybe she doesnt care ?

in what universe would an owner of another competitive dance studio bring her own kid to another studio more than an hour’s drive away, AND be under the impression that she could compete with them in a week, especially when they showed the kids’ and moms’ shocked reaction at the start of the episode to having to learn a dance in a week and compete it? like really what is the point of cathy and vivi being a part of this show im so ????

Act 4: 

THE MINISTER DAWN OUTBURST HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS

this fight is about 50% of what got them a full season 1 and then things took off from there tbh. the other 50% was the electricity dance but thats a point for next episode..... :)

“you’re a minister act like one” “YOU’RE RIGHT I AM A MINISTER! LET’S PLAY THE BIBLE GAME ABBY, WHEN JESUS SAW THINGS THAT WERE WRONG HE WENT AFTER THEM, AND YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO THIS TO MY KID” ma’am i think the wrongs jesus addressed were of slightly more importance than a preteen being told she cant take a dance class if shes violating the studio’s dress code

this is so good bc it wasnt staged afaik and there are regular students all throughout the building just STARING at them like lmao what even is going on, so im pretty sure this is real???

regardless, yeah dont wear socks and a tshirt to an acrobatics class, thats common fucking sense

another cameraman-in-mirror sighting, but its hard to think about angles when filming spontaneous drama like this, so i wont count it against them

“you called me fat” (i remember that being in the episode but thats not on the episode available through lifetime on demand that im watching from my moms tv hmmmmmm) “i told you to close and tuck in your two-piece costume, theres a big difference. HOW CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU CAN’T REMEMBER TO TURN YOUR FEET OUT” uh scream

she really called the police on this woman i cannot handle this. can you imagine being a police officer responding to this call? 

“we have a parent thats out of control. pardon? no shes doesnt have weapons, just her mouth” iconic

im sorry im still not over the hair and makeup. the flat hair with the side bangs. the black pencil eyeliner applied all the way around the eye. why did any of us think this was a look :( why did we do this :(

Act 5:

they went all the way to phoenix to compete 3 numbers, only 2 of which are shown in the episode.

i think this is the only time they ever went to west coast dance explosion because its an actual competition and they wouldnt allow filming after this lol i think they did go to wcde one weekend in addition to a competition where they were filming but it wasnt shown or mentioned at all

abby not wanting brooke and paige to have a french manicure on stage if theyre the only ones in the group with the french tips is perfectly valid idk why it was framed as some crazy micromanaging shit

i also am really not a fan of the whole “high functioning alcoholic wine mom/crazy stage mom” schtick they were pushing for the first few episodes of this show

in retrospect i feel like so many of the quips in this episode were intentionally fucking crazy just to get the audience engaged enough to want to watch more episodes...

“see those girls down there, those girls with the legs? thats who you’re up against, so step it up”

abby warning them that its dangerous for their little party hats to slip when they’re doing aerials and pirouettes and stuff: “what if you were at radio city music hall and they had the ice rink out and you were doing a side aerial and fell 13 stories down and died, huh?” fantastic point abby thank you for saying that to 5 girls ages 8-12 less than 5 minutes before they went on stage. perfect time for a teaching moment like that :)

i forgot how bad the camera work was in the first few episodes for footage of their performances. like they really didnt think the show’s audience would actually want to watch the kids dance, the producers and editors thought we just wanted to see stage mothers yelling at each other lol

also the mic feed over the music of abby talking to herself giving them corrections while watching them dance on stage.... im so glad they quit doing that. i dont remember them doing it like that for any other episode, i hope im right

this choreo is very basic and its a cute dance i guess but its very cringe in some places and for the first episode this is such a forgettable group routine

their scandalized reaction to placing third and the sad piano music is so funny honestly

and maddies reaction in the interview which was almost definitely fed to her by the producers where shes like “i win all the time i dont really know what its like to LOSE i always win or get runner up” so many of maddies lines from season 1 interviews sound so fake and she was probably too naive to know they were getting her to say that stuff so they could paint her as a conceited brat (she was EIGHT)

the trio costume was so ugly im sorry (is it supposed to be like a 50s pinup bathing suit?) (and the headband thing looks so bad) and also the music is bad but they had no real authority over that bc of copyright stuff

chloe’s headpiece coming forward and the ensuing drama was another moment in the episode that really solidified public interest in the show imho.... 

“YOU’RE IN THE BAR HAVING A DRINK AND YOUR KID’S HEADPIECE IS FALLING OFF” “it did not FALL OFF it CAME FORWARD it was FINE!!!”

“mistakes happen, we’re human.” “YOU are. mistakes like that dont happen to me”

and then the “next time on dance moms” with the WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE electricity dance, of course. genuinely that was really smart of the producers in terms of structuring things to generate intrigue lol. and obviously it ended up working....

[thelaudown]

hyouka poly slowburn so its like: (post-anime)

satoshi and mayaka are dating all through highschool and houtarou and eru are maybe a little more invested than friends would normally be, and step in when they have problems to a degree that regular people would call a boundary issue.

houtarou and mayaka still give each other shit at every opportunity, but theyre much more outwardly friendly than before, and if she ever argues w satoshi houtarou is the first to say that theres no way its her fault. maybe one time it is and he confronts her abt it in a way that forces her to take him seriously. its the respect and codependency for me. 

mayaka and satoshi have functioning eyes and houtarous feelings for eru are completely obvious to them. unfortunately shes a little harder to read, so they never really get further than being very close friends and committing to being together for the foreseeable future, as far as this road will take them - its the same dynamic for the entire friend group, but satoshi starts seriously considering a proposal in third year. 

he and mayaka will be seperated through college - she wants to go to art school, he thinks he might like to be a teacher (specifically of like, textiles or language) and he thinks long distance is too much to ask of her. after a serious conversation she agrees and they take a break through college, but they are tentatively engaged, will be keeping in touch, and want to pick things back up once theyre both in the same location again. 

mayaka and eru flat in college, bringing up mayakas long buried feelings for her, and theyve always been so touchy, and she has a feeling that erus guilty about something? but she doesnt want to get her hopes up. she gets really frustrated and confides in the only person who knows both satoshi and mayaka and isnt involved - HOUTAROU, who attends a less prestigious college than eru but is taking similar business courses (he hasnt forgotten) and is commuting from home. 

hes closer to them than satoshi, but theres still a little distance and they dont meet as often as theyd like, partially bc he doesnt often make the effort - the energy he does have is expended on his classes, bc he has a motivation to do well - if he does, maybe eru will consider him without him even putting himself out there. anyway she still calls him on the phone all the time tho. 

he doesnt really have any advice when mayaka speaks to him, but hes quick to reassure her that satoshi wouldnt be bothered by her feelings - "because its eru". functioning adults refer to each other by their first names. it was a super embarassing transition period but theyre used to it now. 

so mayaka takes the leap and eru admits that while shes never really been one to dwell on romantic feelings, she reciprocates but is concerned abt satoshi - she loves him too, after all, and he and mayaka were/are/will be a great couple. she ends up confessing this to houtarou, filled w apologies and assurances that he neednt worry abt her personal matters, but he doesnt mind listening. anyway it stings (in a sad way, not a bitter one) that she apparently has interest in both mayaka and satoshi but not him, but he REALLY cant blame her. he tells her that he doesnt know how to advise her and she thanks him for listening, and then he does probably the most meddlesome thing hes ever done and calls satoshi and tells him everything. 

satoshi is really cool abt it, and hits him w "lol if theyre dating what if i just take you out to lunch. fairs fair. what do you mean you dont know about my massive crush on you, mr observer didnt pick it up? oh wow okay youre really stupid when it comes to yourself. ill pick you up on friday" and then satoshi calls mayaka and gives her his blessing and assures that he loves them both and wishes them the best and wow they REALLY need to catch up soon. hell bring houtarou and they can compare date notes! and he hangs up. 

satoshi is still kind of a petty guy and he probably only confessed to houtarou bc he was taken off guard, but hes not being inauthentic by any means. this is the new improved satoshi 2.0, who is becoming more comfortable w there being things he doesnt like abt himself and working on them and getting his feelings out constructively, rather than pushing them down and refusing to put himself in situations that might turn out badly. he gets his hopes up again, and is happier for it even when hes let down. 

eru is shocked to hear abt houtarou and satoshi. mayaka isnt. they talk abt it, interspersed w making out, and are shocked to realise that they like both of them - mayaka is ESPECIALLY taken off guard, both by her own feelings and erus, which shed never noticed before. she almost tells eru abt houtarous 3+ years of pining, but stops herself lest things get messy. shes starting to get an idea, but needs to tread lightly. besides, its not like houtarou wld ever like her. theyre barely even friends. it doesnt all add up as evenly as shed like. 

for houtarous part, hes genuinely in wtf mode irt satoshis feelings for him, and hes been in eru chitanda hell for so long that he never considered anything else, but now that he IS.... satoshi isnt so bad. he was always really cute w mayaka, when he wasnt being annoying for fun and profit. sure. okay. so they do some gay double dating through college, but the cross couple pining dont stop. satoshi is absolutely still obsessed w mayaka, but houtarou doesnt mind bc he cant take his eyes off eru whenever they meet up either. 

she still calls him on the phone all the time, and when schoolwork picks up he often finds himself calling her w thoughts or questions. they do some more thought exercises, but they dont need to argue as an excuse, and she barely has to badger him anymore. one day he looks at himself and sees a functioning adult who spends a moderate amount of energy on things that arent necessarily necessary, and wants to sigh, but. hes happy. 

college ends and they all find themselves back in kamiyama - satoshi is student teaching at their old middle school, eru is hard at work for her family, mayaka is working while she works on her manga debut, and houtarou is working while he figures out what he actually wants. 

its clear to all of them that mayaka and satoshi need to have a talk, so they do, and they come up with... poly. its unconventional, but they really are happy, and they really do love each other, and mayaka would love to start wearing her ring again (satoshi never took his off, and she pretended not to notice but she had the biggest lady boner over it). 

so now sometimes eru and houtarou are hanging out while their boyfriend and girlfriend are out on dates being engaged, making up for lost time and considering the practicality of marriage while they both have sidepieces, and houtarou and eru are pining BAD, but neither notices the other and he asks how her business is going and maybe kind of offers his assistance platonically. 

so now THATS happening, and satoshi and mayaka get to talking one day abt how those two should date, shld we do smth? and if they did then the only pieces missing are mayaka/houtarou and satoshi/eru which is a beautiful dream but wld never happen, what do you mean he/she wld love to date you, wait really, oh my god, what, are we doing this, 

and houtarou who has been working himself up to confessing for the past SEVEN YEARS, never gets to bc satoshi and mayaka interrupt while theyre at work and do it for him 

[tigerkirby215]

5e Zed the Master of Shadows build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Well; I did promise it. I’ll be honest the only reason for this build is that it’s the most obvious build to make with the new Echo Knight from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount, and it would be an injustice not to do so. I honestly don’t care much about Zed as I feel like his popularity has sort of died down as his meta relevance has waned. Regardless this build isn’t just a straightforward “lol Echo Knight 20″ so I hope those of you who want to play the edgy shadow ninja boy are pleased.

GOALS

Living Shadow - Of course the core of Zed’s kit is his shadow clones. Man I wonder how we’re going to recreate that?

Shadow Slash - Both Zed and his shadows need an arsenal of weapons that are always on-hand and are ready to both slash and throw.

Contempt for the Weak - Zed passive is what makes him an assassin, quickly killing anyone who’s already hurt.

RACE

Zed is a Human but due to my continued determination to avoid using the Variant Human race (and also because we really don’t need a Feat in this build except maybe Skulker) we’ll be grabbing Flash from Mark of Passage from Eberron. Your Dexterity increases by 2 and you can increase one stat of your choice by 1: choose Wisdom for some later Feat investment. You can also choose one language on top of Common: if Ionian is a language choose that, but Elvish is pretty close I suppose?

You get Courier's Speed for 5 feet of extra movement from your Zeal, and  Intuitive Motion lets you add a d4 to any Acrobatics check you make or check involving land vehicles, because of all your training with the Kinkou apparently taught you how to drive a cart as well as do back-flips? But of course the main reason I said to take this race was for Magical Passage, giving you a one-time cast of Misty Step per Long Rest. Flash is a powerful summoner spell: use it to make some stylish plays.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - Being a ninja is about swiftness and precision, and doing sick backflips and parkour. Wait this isn’t a Talon build?

14; WISDOM - To be a master you need to be wise; wise enough to know you enemy and how to exploit their weakness. It’s also a requirement to multiclass after all.

13; CONSTITUTION - Just because Zed isn’t a tank in-game doesn’t mean some extra tenacity (not the CC reduction type) isn’t appreciated. CON is also tied to some of our clone abilities.

12; INTELLIGENCE - The art of war is a game of intelligence. If fighting is sure to result in victory then you must fight!

10; CHARISMA - Zed runs around in Shredder cosplay and half his voice lines are literally just him grunting. He has his own order but he isn’t getting any free beers.

8; STRENGTH - Again you’re not a tank, and Strength simply isn’t needed for this build. The only thing we’d ever really use Strength for is Athletics, and we can get proficiency in the skill to remedy that.

BACKGROUND

Much like the Kayn build we’ll be going with the Faction Agent background, only this time you’re the faction head! Much like your protegee you get Insight proficiency as well as Intimidation since you’re a spooky shadow man. And of course your Shadow Order can provide you with a Safe Haven if needed, giving you a safe place to hide if your half-brother is looking for you. As for your two languages again it doesn’t matter, so pick something fun.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue for the extra proficencies, also because no shit you’re a ninja. Regardless Rogues get proficiency in 4 skills from the Rogue list: choose Stealth, Perception, Acrobatics, and Athletics so you can keep to the shadows and strike at the perfect time. You also get Expertise in two skills that you know: I’d opt for Stealth as well as Intimidation from your background, so you can sneak up on someone and go “boo!” before cutting out their throat.

Of course the main appeal of Rogues is their Sneak Attack, letting them add a d6 of damage against any enemy who’s close to another ally, or you have advantage on by attacking them from the shadows.

Finally your Shadow Order is well-versed in Thieves’ Cant, a secret code that neither the Noxians nor the Kinkou understand.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get Cunning Action, letting them Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. The key to playing Zed well is much like the key to playing Rogue well in 5e: keep mobile and be everywhere at once. Don’t give your enemy a moment to hit you.

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

You can choose your Roguish Archetype at level 3 and of course the Master of Shadows needs shadowy blades. Or should I say psychic blades? The Soul Knife subclass from the Psionics UA can create weapons as a Bonus Action with their Psychic Blade feature: these are finesse weapons that you can dual-wield, and throw 30 feet normally and up to 60 feet with disadvantage. These weapons deal a d6 of psychic damage and disappear after they hit the target you throw them at, when you dismiss them for free, or after you let go of them.

You can also choose through a variety of Psionic Enhancements. You can either give yourself 30 feet of telepathy, 5 feet of extra movement speed, or health equal to your Rogue level plus your Intelligence. You may notice that in total that would add up to a 4 currently, but that isn’t likely to go higher so I’d recommend either the telepathy or the movement speed. (5 feet of movement combined with the 5 feet from your race means you’re moving at Barbarian speed!)

WHY LOW INTELLIGENCE? - The Soul Knife, despite being a psionic class, doesn’t need Intelligence to function. A +5 in Intelligence would only mean a total of 8 extra health because we’re not going to be taking any more levels in Rogue. You need both Dexterity and Constitution more in this build, so it’s not worth investing in Intelligence just for one skill. But if you can get your Intelligence high go right ahead.

And finally your Sneak Attack increases to 2d6 now.

LEVEL 4 - FIGHTER 1

Now that you have your shuriken it’s time to get your clones. Level 1 Fighters get a Fighting Style and there’s a lot of options to choose from:

Two-Weapon Fighting is the obvious pick, letting you squeeze a bit of extra damage into your second weapon attack if you decide to opt for two-weapon fighting with your Bonus Action.

Thrown Weapon Fighting from the Class Feature Variants UA will vary in utility depending on your DM’s interpretation of “drawing a weapon.” If they let you summon your knives for free with this fighting style (as long as you throw them instantly) take this fighting style. If not Archery could also perhaps increase your ranged accuracy if your DM is cool with the rules.

When all else fails Defense provides a flat +1 to AC.

Why not Dueling? - Dueling is good in it’s own right to increase damage output but it technically only works if you have one Psiblade out. This means that you’ll be gimping yourself by only summoning one knife at a time, which means you can’t have two ranged shots before needing to “reload.” If you have a cool DM Dueling can still work for more damage.

You also get Second Wind, so you can pop a Refillable Potion to heal for 1d10 plus your fighter level once per short rest as a Bonus Action. Even at this late level that can equal up to a third of your health bar!

LEVEL 5 - FIGHTER 2

Second level Fighters get Action Surge, allowing them to take an additional action once per Short Rest. Man I love Fighters; so simple to explain.

LEVEL 6 - FIGHTER 3

HA HA FUCK ME AM I RIGHT?! Echo Knight from Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount suddenly becomes a hundred times more complex! For the sake of brevity I’m literally going to copy-paste the Echo Knight’s ability description from my Skullgirls Isaac build:

The echo (or Living Shadow, if you will) has an AC of 14 plus your proficiency bonus, 1 hit point, and immunity to all conditions. If it has to make a saving throw it uses your saving throw bonus for the roll. It’s the same size as you and occupies a space. On your turn you can make the echo to move up to 30 feet in any direction without using an action but if your echo is more than 30 feet from you at the end of your turn it is destroyed.

You have several things you can do with your echo:

* You can swap places with your echo with 15 feet of your movement, regardless of the distance between the two of you.

* Any attack you make with the Attack action can originate from the echo’s space if you choose to do so.

* When a creature that you can see within 5 feet of your echo moves away from it, you can use your reaction to make an opportunity attack against that creature as if you were in the echo’s space.

* You can use Unleash Incarnation to make one additional attack from your Echo’s location when you take the attack action, adding up to 3 attacks total. You can use Unleash Incarnation a number of times equal to your Constitution modifier.

In short: Living Shadow can attack for you. We good?

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 1

We’ve got our Q, we’ve got our W, now it’s time for our... passive? Building characters in D&D is weird. Regardless Rangers get another skill proficiency: I’d recommend the Survival skill to survive if you decide to go into the jungle.

You also get a Favored Enemy and Favored Terrain from Natural Explorer. As per usual whenever I use the Ranger class (which I seem to do a lot) I recommend talking to your DM to find out what enemies and terrain you’ll need, or alternatively use Unearthed Arcana rules. This build is rather separate from Unearthed Arcana but regardless it’s much better than baseline Ranger so I suggest looking at it.

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get a Fighting Style so I’d recommend one you didn’t take from Fighter 1 (since Fighting Styles don’t stack.) But notably you get access to Spellcasting and learn two spells from the Ranger list: Detect Magic will let you check if your opponent has their ultimate up before fighting, and Hunter’s Mark will let you mark an enemy for death and do an extra d6 of damage every time you hit them.

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 3

Speaking of damage: third level Rangers can choose a conclave archetype, and the Hunter archetype is as useful to assassins as it is to hunters. You get the Hunter’s Prey feature which lets you choose from three different ways to do extra damage, but Colossus Slayer will let you show your contempt for the weak by doing an extra d8 of damage to anyone who’s injured.

You also get Primeval Awareness, letting you spend a spell slot to detect enemies that are near. (Read the ability for a better understanding of how it works.) And speaking of spells how about a smoke bomb? Fog Cloud will let you create a... cloud... of fog. The area is heavily obscured for the duration unless you lose concentration or a strong wind blows it away so you can use it to block enemy vision and get into position to hide and strike!

LEVEL 10 - FIGHTER 4

Man we skipped over our Ability Score Improvements for awhile huhn? Well thankfully there’s no more multiclassing anymore as it’s just straight down Fighter now. But we’ll first be taking a Feat to even out some of our uneven ability scores, and the Observant feat is perfect for a ninja, getting an increase to passive perception to spot assassins in the dark and being able to read the lips of an enemy so you can relay the message to your allies.

LEVEL 11 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get an Extra Attack good lord finally! The thing is that more attacks means that you’ll have to “reload” your Psychic Blades with a Bonus Action more often, which is why we opted for Colossus Slayer first. So just remember that your knives are limited.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 12 - FIGHTER 6

6th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Dexterity and Constitution to finally get rid of those awful uneven Ability Scores.

LEVEL 13 - FIGHTER 7

7th level Echo Knights get Echo Avatar: You can see and hear through your Living Shadow, deafening and blinding yourself while you do this. You can keep it up for 10 minutes max and can end it at any time without an action. While your echo is being used this way it can be up to 1000 feet away from you without being destroyed, meaning that you can theoretically teleport to it if you so desire. One of Zed’s biggest strengths is his ability to be practically everywhere at once.

LEVEL 14 - FIGHTER 8

8th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement: you can finally cap off your Dexterity for maximum damage with your knives and your shurikens.

LEVEL 15 - FIGHTER 9

At level 9 in Fighter you get Indomitable, letting you reroll a saving throw once per Long Rest. You must use the new roll so be sure to only pop your QSS on an important stun you know you won’t get hit by again 3 seconds later.

LEVEL 16 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Echo Knights get Shadow Martyr. Hey it has “shadow” in the name! Regardless once per short rest you can use a reaction to have your Living Shadow defend an ally (or yourself) when being attacked, forcing the attack to hit the echo instead of you. People can’t shoot Zed’s shadows in League but that doesn’t mean he can’t block a skillshot for an ally.

LEVEL 17 - FIGHTER 11

11th level Fighters get three attacks per round thanks to an improvement to Extra Attack. Again remember that you can only throw two of your Psychic Blades before needing to reload, meaning that if you decide to throw them you can only do so twice before needing to spend a bonus action, and will run out of daggers if you decide to Action Surge. But since your echo can attack with melee it should be fine, right?

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 12

12th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement: increase your Constitution for more health and more uses of Unleash Incarnation, adding up to you dying less and your enemies dying more.

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 13

13th level Fighters get another use of Indomitable. Isn’t cool-down reduction a great stat?

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 14

Our capstone is an Ability Score Improvement from the 14th level of Fighter: 2 points in Constitution will give you a 20 HP boost and one extra use of Unleash Incarnation.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

The merest shade of me... - You have a huge array of options in combat which are almost always available for use. You can always be armed with both a melee and ranged weapon and have insane mobility with Misty Step and the ability to swap places with your Echo, not to mention that a 40 foot movement speed puts you above the average movement for humanoids and on-par with most mid-to-high level enemies, letting you easily chase them and keep up.

Our blades crave battle - You have incredibly high damage output. Three attacks with your psychic blades is good in its own right but combined with Sneak Attack, Colossus Slayer, and Hunter’s Mark you can do a grand total of 3d6 + 1d8 extra damage with one of your three strikes. Extra attacks are a great contingency for on-hit damage boosts.

Only the worthy survive - While Zed is squishy in League of Legends this build is much tankier than average. Actually being able to invest in Constitution without losing out on abilities and most of your levels being in Fighter means that your health can easily reach up to 200. Add in Second Wind and Indomitable and you have more than a Guardian Angel to protect you.

CONS

Secrets kept are weapons wasted - You have a lot of set up time to get all your abilities up. A bonus action to draw your weapons and then another bonus action to summon your Echo, plus extra bonus actions to create more blades or more echoes, which will take away from Cunning Action or your mobility abilities.

Only time can judge us - Many of your abilities are limited: limited spells, limited protection with Indomitable and Shadow Martyr, limited damage with Unleash Incarnation and Action Surge, and most notably limited ranged attacks per turn since you can only summon two Psychic Blades per turn.

Balance is weakness - The three levels of Ranger really don’t provide much. More damage is swell and all but taking 3 more Fighter levels instead of 3 Ranger levels would give you more sustainability with Reclaim Potential, another Ability Score Improvement, and most notably a third use of Indomitable and a second use of Action Surge. Ranger makes your average damage output higher but removes your ability to quickly assassinate a target, or keep alive. And it of course forces you to invest somewhat in Wisdom, which might not be possible if you didn’t roll well for stats during character creation.

But I honestly struggled to find many points of weakness in this build; I’m actually impressed with how strong it is overall. You have the tools to take on any fight that may come your way, moving around the battlefield at lightning speeds and dropping any enemy with a flurry of blows. It’s only up to you to use those tools, less you prove yourself a Faker.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

[benhaardy]

fresh || b.h.

REQUEST: an imagine where the reader is friends with ben from her first year of highschool, and they stay friends through till sixth form, before they move to uni they confess their feelings for each other and it’s all fluffy and nice💖💖💖

A/N: helloooo thank you for sending me a request i hope i did this justice!! im super rusty but here goes!!!!!! i feel like a noob cause i dont really know how drama clubs function sorry but this is how the clubs i’ve been in kinda functioned during a free time period yknow? also i hope i got the school stuff right lol im aMeRiCan. yeet i would loveeeee some feedback because this is the first time ive ever written in second person so uhhh hit up my askbox! also i am basic and do not know anything about high school plays so they do romeo and juliet i apologize, yes it is basic and all quotes from it are taken OUT OF CONTEXT so uh just-just disregard romeo and juliet the play and characters and yeah whatever.

i tried my hardest to make this neutral for the reader so hair, eye colour, skin, shouldn’t be a problem though there is some playing with your hair tho lol.

Y/HT means your hometown.

had a blast writing this, thank you for sending in a request <3333. hope you like!

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: fem!reader, one or two bad words?, p fluffy and also l o l rusty writer right here. this wasn’t proofread and was beta’d halfway so apologies for any inaccuracies or typos.

fresh

Isabel led you down the long hallway, fluorescent lights beaming down upon both of you as you walked. She looked behind at you, encouraging and cheerful as always. As you made your way to the drama room, you clenched your fists and breathed deeply. You had joined the drama club at the encouraging of Isabel, wanting to finally make more friends after a few days of being in this new school, this whole new place. Everything was different here, but maybe you could have one constant in this close group of people. You were nervous. It showed. She reassured, “Don’t worry, Y/N. We’re probably, like, the most relaxed people on this campus. You’ve got nothing to worry about, alright?”

You nodded at her, a tight smile on your lips. Hopefully, she was right. Though you’d always known drama kids to be loud and fun, you couldn’t help but shake that self-conscious feeling inside.

She opened the door for you both and let you enter before her into the room. The walls were painted black and had colourful drawings and paintings hung up on them which were student made. In the middle of the room were at least 15 people either sitting in chairs or scattered about on the ground. They were all doing their own thing. Some people were acting out scenes with each other, others were just talking amongst themselves or playing around. Two boys were in the corner kicking a football at each other while reciting A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

“Everyone? Welcome Y/N to the club!” You waved shyly at them and their exclamations at your presence. “Come over here with me,” said Isabel, who showed you over to an open seat in the middle of the room, next to a blonde boy. His face lit up at the sight of you coming to him.

“You must be the great Y/N Izzy’s always talking about!” He patted the seat next to him where you sat down. “I’m Ben.” He grinned at you, pearly whites shining. Ben adjusted his beanie and sat nonchalantly, hands in his hoodie pockets.

“Y/N,” you replied. You were still on edge but Ben seemed nice enough. You two sat for a little in silence, watching the chaos of the club in motion. Isabel had left to kick the football with the boys.

“So Y/N,” he piped up, ”tell me about yourself.” He sat forward, intent on listening to whatever you were gonna say.

“I moved here from Y/HT. I was never really into drama before now, I guess, but I used to act when I was younger. Isabel convinced me to join again ‘cause I’m still trying to find my way around here,” you replied, a small, nervous laugh following your words.

“Well, you’ll always be welcome here! I joined after I got injured and I fell in love with acting. I hope you stay.” Ben grinned at you, a glint in his eye.

--

Three years had passed. Three years of plays and lawless drama kids and Ben. You had grown extremely close with him, hanging out as much as possible, helping each other with your lines, and staying near each other during rehearsals and meetings. Both of you were attached at the hip. You were more at his house then you were at your own.

You had simply just fit. Snug and at home with each other. Snug enough that you had grown to have feelings for him. You prayed that it was just those normal feelings that people have for their best friends, where they were teetering dangerously over the line of romance but stayed safe, still platonic. Your prayers were not answered and you had fallen, hard, for your best friend.

It was hard to hide your feelings, hard to hide when he was so kind. Ben was willing to hold you up when you were low and willing enough to know pretty much everything about you without forgetting what you liked and what irked you. He hosted you at his house with no problem. Though you did the same, it was great knowing someone would give that same love back.

He was so affectionate and always greeted you with a grin and a kiss on the cheek. “Darling,” “love,” and “angel,” were synonymous with your name at this point. Ben invited you out to grab food, or watch a movie, or go shopping, and he always paid without fail. When you left his presence, when you looked down upon yourself, “I love you’s” from him were always, always there. Ben embraced you with open arms, in a figurative way and literally.

He was home. Simple as that.

Your friends summed it up when they said that you and Ben were like,”an old, married couple.” His warmth spread into your heart and now it felt like it was squeezing it. Squeezing it and then dropping it on the floor. Multiple times. Strange enough, you hadn’t changed much on the outside. You were still the same old Y/N around him but the second you got home, everything changed. You sat at your desk, head in hands. You were supposed to be doing homework but that was thrown out the window once you hung out with him that day, your mind taken over.

On those complicated nights, you contemplated telling Ben everything: how you planned out your words so you wouldn’t say anything stupid around him, how you sat alone with your thoughts at night just thinking, thinking about him, how his “I love you” made your heart pang with longing and fondness. You were worried everything would change. Even though you knew if you became a couple, nothing would become any different than before.

You could not take that chance. You couldn’t risk losing Ben.

--

You were laying down on Ben’s chest, him propped up on his backpack against the wall in the drama room. Both of you were reading from the script in your hands. His chin was on your head and you could feel him mouthing the words to his lines. He was playing with your hair mindlessly, this affection, again, extremely apparent. You turned your head to look at him and poked his cheek, to which he responded by puffing out his cheeks. Both of you laughed and resumed your routine, watching your ever chaotic drama mates be loud and rehearse, all in preparation for your last ever play before university: Romeo and Juliet.

Ben was cast as Romeo and you, Juliet. Before, you both had preferred taking side roles. You two were hidden gems, the quiet ones, but Isabel had pushed you to try to take the lead one time. Everyone was working as hard as ever to make the play special; a fourth of the club was off to uni after this year.

He put his arms around your waist, squeezed your body tight, and nuzzled his face into your shoulder as you read out loud, “O gentle Romeo, / If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.” He read his part and you both read until Juliet had to leave.

You could feel Ben’s chest go up and down as he breathed steadily. It was as if there was no one else in the room other than you two as you practiced your lines. You recited,

“And yet I wish but for the thing I have:

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,

My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite.”

--

Tonight was the last performance of Romeo and Juliet. It was extremely bittersweet. You could see how everyone had improved in their methods over the years and today was the last demonstration of that, the last day everyone would truly be together like this. Everyone was going to different universities, all for different reasons and majors. Romeo and Juliet was your final curtain.

Ben’s family came to you after you dressed out of your costume. They gave you flowers and sung their praises at your performance. They gave you a ride to the diner where you were to meet with the rest of the club to celebrate your successful performances.

Both of you shuffled into a booth in the corner along with the other 4 members who had their last performances sat with you. You and Ben ordered your normal stack of pancakes and fruit. He had his arm around you the entire time, switching from your shoulder to your waist every once in a while as you both conversed with the rest of your uni-bound friends. Your friend who was sitting on yours and Ben’s side left to talk with the lower classmen. Leaning against Ben, you put your feet up on the rest of the booth.

“Hand me my makeup wipes, yeah?” You asked Ben, pointing back to your bag on his side. You heard him rummaging around in your things.

“Here, love.” He gave you the wipes and you wiped off all of the heavy stage makeup, undid your hair, and shook it all out. You sat up again and looked up at him who looked as if he was watching you closely. It was only one second, though. Only one second.

--

Your food had come, the meal had been had, the cheerful crying at your third-to-last goodbyes to your group had ceased and now you and Ben were walking home together through the park close to your own house. The ground was wet with rain, though thankfully, it had subsided and there were no clouds lightening the night sky. The moon was full, the grass was dewy, and there was potential in the air. A spark.

As he walked alongside you, you thought of how his kiss during the play had stuck on your lips and how his hand tightly clasped in yours while you professed your love felt. Though the words of Juliet just flew through you, it all felt real, even with the period costumes and lights and stage. His lines were simply just that. Lines. Words that were written 400 years ago, in language from 400 years ago that he acted out on stage to you and you back to him. But it just felt real, much too real. You were alone with your thoughts once again, the subject of them standing just right beside you in silence himself.

“Y/N?” Ben piped up.

“Yes?” You looked at him looking up at the sky.

“Don’t you think how crazy it is that three years ago we met, we talked about why we joined the club, and you were really only here on a whim? Now tonight, it’s our last performance in this group ever. And you weren’t even sure if you wanted to stay! We’re here now and I was Romeo and you were my Juliet and—I just feel as if everything’s that led up to us being here was so special. Like you were meant by the universe to join the club, sit next to me and talk to me and be my best friend. You were a blessing, Y/N, my blessing, and I just-”

Your smile grew and grew and grew and your pulse quickened and everything felt wild. Absolutely, motherfucking wild. Your limbs were jelly. There were alarms going off in your brain “You just what, Ben?” You said softly, tears at your eyes at his lovely, lovely words. He turned to face you as you both stopped underneath a lamppost, the light and the moonlight softly illuminating features. Your best friend stepped closer to you. “You just what, Ben?” You now whispered, seeing his own gooey smile and his eyes, filled with tears, drop down to your lips and back up again to your eyes.

“I just—I love you, Y/N,” he whispered. “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you too, Ben.” Your grin was wide enough that it squeezed the tears out of your eyes. “I’ve loved you since, like, year 11!” You laughed while wiping away the wetness from your face.

He blushed and took your hand in his. “I got a crush on you two months after we met, dude.”

“No freaking way, Ben!” Your eyes went wide. He liked you for this long? And here you were contemplating everything, overthinking everything!

“Yes, way!” He laughed. “I didn’t want to leave it until we left to uni together because I know I’d be agonizing over it. They say uni’ll be the best years of our lives so… why not start it out with a bang? In more than one way, if you know what I’m saying…” he said playfully, winking. You rolled your eyes and made an attempt at pushing his shoulder, but you both snickered at his joke.

“I love you, Ben. Seriously.”

“And I love you, Y/N. Seriously.”

[ralfstrashcan]

3x18 Reaction / Commentary

Anxious feeling of imminent doom in my gut? Check. Skipping breakfast in favor of running to my laptop like a starving person? Check. Chances of surviving this episode with my sanity intact? Uhhh.... Well here goes nothing.

But one more thing before we get started (Does anyone wanna get out? Yeah, me!!!! Okay sorry.)

Who's this mysterious “Alex” person?? A new player on the board???

Alright alright, I'm stalling, I know. It's weird, last week couldn't pass quick enough but now I really don't wanna click the play button... okay anyway you're probably not here to read my angsting, so. Deep breath and here goes.

In terms of putting my nerves at ease this is working out pretty good. I love Becky, okay, and her sibling ship with Simon and the Sneak Peek made me real happy and I can't wait to see more of those two together (especially considering this'll probably be her last appearance on the show). So, yeah Team Lewis! (Also that comment about them and Clary never missing a Halloween together? I need all the kid fics!!!)

Lol dude I mean you literally died for knowing about it, but sure, make an understatement XD Also, “all the way from Florida”??? Last thing I knew about her she was lying in a hospital bed a week ago (aka 3A)? When did she get released? And relocated? I missed that???

:D :D :D <3<3<3

Queen Izzy :))))))) btw those kids had seriously lacking survival skills if you ask me. That wasn't normal, right? And where were their supervisors??

Effing f-i-n-a-l-l-y.

Also, Magnus with the deflecting again as soon as he's recovered just the tiniest bit is both painfully ic and also just painful </3

Ugh, can you believe Clace entered the Malec scene even though they must have felt it was a bad time and deranged it with their flirting? Unfair. In any case I agree, Clary was always and will always be an idiot XD haha okay sorry, I don't really mean that (only like, 83%) it's just the setup was too good to pass it up ;) I mean even Alec laughed at Jace calling her an idiot so I'm well within my rights to do it, too XD

Thanks, Alec, for sabotaging the one shot at open communication you had. I mean, I want to believe he does it because he realizes Magnus is back to his deflecting self and prodding will get him nowhere, but uhm, could he try for longer than three seconds before giving up? Is he really gonna let Magnus off the hook so easily and do something stupid and reckless instead?? *sigh* BUT ALSO HIS FRAKKING FACE OKAY I CAN'T

“Back from the Plot Fold”

Alec “Tact” Lightwood looooool

“Bitch I worked on this performance for centuries how dare you”

SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

sdfshfsjdkfjsdf I love the way he talks okay. Exquisite. (Also he has a birthmark on his lip. It's really distracting. Am I implying Asmodeus is hot? Maybe. You can't prove a thing.)

............................................................your self-confident didn't make any progress since season 1, did it, Alec? *sigh* I mean he's basically agreeing with Asmodeus that this is what will happen if their situation doesn't change.

Okay what is structure, let me just yell my impressions of this scene at you. 1) Both of their acting is stellar. Love all the little body language cues, especially Asmodeus's mocking facial expressions. 2) “Return what you stole” and Asmodeus protesting it because clearly he had a “fair deal” with Magnus. 3) Alec breaking eye contact whenever Asmodeus lands a hit (“One he already regrets.” “You make him vulnerable, weak.”) 4) The fact that Alec protests the potential-line with “We love each other.” I was confused at first but when you think about it Alec says that they help each other access their full potential by loving each other and that's a beautiful sentiment. 5) Of course then Asmodeus lands another hit with “Then I'm afraid you will be the death of him” and Alec is back to looking away.

Thank you, Alec, for not being a total idiot.

“...or else the deal is off.” Obviously. Thank you, Asmodeus, for not being a total idiot either.

.........did he just nod? I knew I was right making that 'total' italic, implying he's still somewhat of an idiot XD

sooooo pretttyyyyyyyyyyyyy

And I can't believed Clary missed Luke so much she visited him in prison a total of 0 times.

Look I'm weak and I dig the Jace-Luke-father-son-in-law-dynamic.

Also can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that Alec is able to function as Head of the Institue even though he has to make the hardest decision of his life at the same time?? Just saying. Guy knows how to handle his shadowhunter responsibility. If only he was as capable in handling other things and omg this is not an innuendo you naughty people, I meant emotional intelligence goddammit.

I mean, he's not wrong? The way he cares about her is uniquely twisted, so.

.........................is Alec having 2x12 flashbacks? Because I sure am.

Hmmmm always admiring Clary's screaming skills :)

*sigh* I mean she didn't just SAY intense pain for a short while? Why am I even bothering.

The scientist has spoken lol.

1) They had a whole underground basement full of tons and tons of that serum, right? If those are all made up of nanoparticles then I really really wonder how big the Glorious splitter was that they extracted the serum from. Since, you know, that whole stash was supposed to be enough for the Downworlders all over the world. Wtf 2) I guess “self-destructing” that basement is gonna come back to roost them and they need to recover the original sword to eliminate the Evil Rune, right???? haha

Asmodeus wrote: Hurry up pretty boy, our deal isn't on the table forever ;)

I'm actually impressed Jace remembered to ask Alec about the proposal. You get some more diligence starlets, Jace <3

OMG ALEC ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME ARE YOU SHITTING ME *sigh* I mean, those two situations are obviously totally comparable, right? I for my part am, again, having severe 2x12 flashbacks, where Alec asked Jace's council about something that Jace totally wasn't equipped to answer. *SIGH*

And I guess Jace isn't suspicious because of Alec's super suspicious behavior, right?????? Ugh.

The sad part is, Alec will probably see that as confirmation that he should go through with it because he doesn't want to be selfish. So while yay, Alec seeking council, he does it in the worst way possible :( at least I got some parabatai feels out of it :/

On the one hand I'm glad she sees it that way* on the other hand this is clearly supposed to be the influence of the rune, so that's kinda undermining her statement and making it even less credible. Thanks, show.

*Yes he was a victim, no he still carries some responsibility for his actions because free will is a thing and he's had some time on earth where he wasn't exactly coerced by anyone. Manipulated, yes. But he's aware of his agency and he should have used it better. I get that I'm asking for a lot here, maybe too much, and circumstances were always against him, but I'm also not absolving him of all his crimes.

Magnus deflecting because that's what he does. God forbid a scene that could be about him actually ends up being about him instead of a side pairing I couldn't care less about. *sigh*

Also, I'm not exactly sure if Magnus really thinks Alec thought being around Maryse could help him, or if he just said that as another means to deflect because honestly, the way Alec suggested to Magnus he go to Maryse was more the here-go-see-your-babysitter-approach than anything else, especially because he basically cut of the conversation they where having before Clace interrupted. *SIGH*

WELL I COULD

YOU NO FRIKKIN SAY, MARYSE

“My lips are sealed.... especially about my issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

THE DISDAIN AHAHHAHAHA CATCH ME WHEEZING ON THE GROUND

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SEELIE QUEEN IS QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this.... actually......... a scene with Alec and Izzy???? HELL YEAH

Okay, words. First off, I LOVE that Alec spills all the beans, and to Izzy, the one emotionally capable Lightwood. I mean, yay Jalec and all, but it's an universally acknowledged truth that Lightwood Men seem to be pretty unable to handle their emotions in a productive way.

Second off, the music playing in the background? Is the one from the Malec Breakup Scene from 2x18. Yay mood reference, I mean. Thanks for that lovely detail, show. (Hahahaha I don't even know if I'm sarcastic or not because it's so witty but on the other hand it's just cruelly twisting the knife like r u for real man give me a damn break.)

Third off, I love basically every line of this dialogue. The fact that Alec (or anyone really) FINALLY acknowledges that Magnus gave up his powers and saved Jace for Alec. Alec's argument: “Magnus sacrificed everything so I could feel whole and now I have the chance to do the same for him.” Also that wording, “a chance”? Not an obligation, not a repayment of a dept. A chance. Because he loves Magnus and this is his chance to fix it. (In his eyes at least, pssssh.)

And Izzy's intent “He wouldn't want this. He loves you so much.” So valid. And less biased (aka skewed by shitty self-esteem) than Alec's assessment of the situation.

Also this

Ouch, just. Ouch. So ic.

Also this

Izzy asking all the right questions. The way Alec looks away means “No” and the determined way he meets her gaze again after means “But that doesn't matter.” Very good scene.

(Honestly the only thing I would have wished for is that Izzy is a little more firm in her assertion that Magnus wouldn't want this and she like, tries to change Alec's mind instead of just accepting his decision.)

hehehe :)

The same time you moved to Florida apparently.

hahaahahha <3<3<3 kick-ass sister material

.........<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 this deserves so much recognition okay. Since we all know drinking away his problems is Magnus's No 1 coping mechanism. Too bad he'll be pushed into his liquor again by Alec unwisely breaking up with him at the end of the episode (because I daren't dream of a change of heart on Alec's side.)

Also is this the part where Maryse blabs out Alec's proposal plans??

Ugh yay, so after Maryse reassuring Magnus that they are all here for him I guess the breakup is just gonna get 5 shades uglier. Yaaay.

Love that necklace damn.

Obligatory Sizzy moment in front of Becky so she can call Simon out on it later: Check. Just glad this role doesn't fall to Raphael. (Also you bet your ass I chose Becky's line as a picture for this because I'm really that petty.)

Also omg, I just peeked into the German dubbing because obviously the Count von Count pun doesn't work because the words for Count and the word for counting aren't the same here and the guy is named Graf Zahl. And just skdjfslkdjfklsdjfkld Simon's line “That does sound really made up” is honest to God transated with “You're right, I just made him up” like oh my God who is in charge of translating this and why are they so incompetent honestly!!!!!!!! W H Y

Lol that's gotta be the first time in his life that he called her Isabelle. Probably because she was slacking off during patrol.

AAAAAND I'M WHEEZING AGAIN AHAHHA HER OFFENDED FACE Honestly the seelie queen and Becky should start a comedy spin-off, I'd be watching the shit out of that XD

HAHAHAHAH HAVE MERCY XD XD XD Then again, can you blame Simon? Izzy is sooooo droolworthy.

1) She's gonna let Alec, Jace and Clary (two and a half shadowhunters ahaha) take on a whole nest of demons alone? Instead of backing them up? Okay???

2) Why they telling them that??? As far as they are concerned Simon and Becky are civilians, not their parents.

?????? NO SHE SHOULD TAKE BECKY WITH HER!!!!!!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE BECKY TOURING THE INSTITUTE? BECKY MARVELING AT ALL THE UNREALISTIC SHADOWHUNTER TECH?? BECKY KIDDING AROUND IN THE LAB??? I WAS ROBBED!!!

:)))) even Jace breaking out the comedy :D :D :D I approve

Those are some nice wings. Not perfect, but very very nice.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME HAHAHAHAHAHAH

Okay, Parabatai Fight Scene!!! 1) Jace again with his axes, nice.

2) Being sassy instead of, idk, picking up his weapons: Check.

3) True dat, but uh, Jace, what was the plan if Alec hadn't shown up? Inviting Drevak Queen out on a date?

4) I mean, why shoot one when you can shoot five, right? Good motto. But I still kind of want an explanation how two of those arrows could land in the Drevak Queen's head and the other three in her chest, like, what are physics anyway amiright?

5) Shot meant to make Jace look heroic when really, since we earlier learnt that killing the Drevak Queen kills all her spawn*, this was just Alec doing Jace's work for him XD

*Uh, yeah what the hell is up with that. Chitauri Genetic Defect or something? *sigh*

*Feelings of terrible foreboding intensify*

sssssssssssssssssssssssudden

Look, I agree. I just don't think Maia could really comprehend / accept that so fast (and off-screen) because ugh reasons, too tired to repeat myself again *waves hand unhelpfully* but whatever, I can accept this. I made my peace with it.

1) Last time I checked those cells were secured with a combination lock thingy.

2) Thanks Lanaia for sabotaging Sizzy, I'll be sure to send you a gift basket (or, if what I think will happen happens, some flowers for your grave lol).

*snorts* Reminds me of Hannibal who was always making cannibal puns at people and no one noticed XD Also, her knocking Jace out was really dumb? I mean, he wouldn't have stopped her from saving Jonathan because, uh, that's saving her own neck, too. And if she'd portaled them both to the cell she could have disposed of him there way easier, locking him up – since apparently she didn't plan to kill him, and that nice straightjacket would have kept him from alerting the other Shadowhunters way longer than that pipe over the head. So, wholly unnecessary. I mean, in a way it's nice to know that Demonic Clary isn't smarter than Regular Clary.

Dude she's literally wielding a spear, how dumb are you.

Aaaaaand there goes my order to the nearest funeral wreath shop XD

Look I have questions (which, okay, I should have asked sooner but what even is continuity right). When that weird gratifying wing dream sequence started I thought it was Clary tapping into the rune connection and it was the real Jonathan communicating with her. When Jace entered the play field it was clear at least some part must be fake because Jace sure as heck wasn't unconscious / in trance at the time and later didn't give any indication that he participated in some creepy contest for Clary's affections. But now Jonathan is surprised by this, too? He, too, was a product of Clary's imagination? I have so many questions, first of all, why the wings? And the really cheap back-white-symbolism? Also, why did Clary feel so drawn to Jonathan if this was all in her own mind? Was it the influence of the Evil Rune? Does the Evil Rune have a user interface that's shaped to look like Jonathan? Does that mean Jonathan has a Clary-shaped interface??? I need answers.

Ugh. Let's make this long and painful, shall we.

OF COURSE IN THE ONE SCENE WHERE SHIT WILL GO DOWN THEY DON'T FAIL AT CASUAL INTIMACY THANK YOU FOR  N O T H I N G

Let's not talk about the fact that the thought, Alec could mean anything but a break together from everything that's been going on, doesn't even cross Magnus's mind because no. Noooooo. I'd rather talk about how absolutey awesome both of their acting is. For Alec I really like the way he moves his eyes, like the gaze darting around alternating with the rigid stare. For Magnus, uh, everything, just like, his whole face is perfection?? Yeah, that works.

The way he interrupts because he just needs to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Dammit, he does this eyelid dip here, it's not a blink, it's just his eyelids twitching down for a second because this is like a slap in the face. And then he turns and takes a step away because his instinct is to run from this because what is this, this can't be

“Is this about last night? Because I'm going to quit drinking.”

Magnus “forever apologizing for being an 'inconvenience'” Bane, final installment.

Dammit, his face. And again with the deflecting, trivializing his feelings, anything to keep this conversation from going where he thinks it's going.

*EYE ROLL* Sorry but you don't get to play that card after being effin obtuse for 7 episodes, Alec. Nope. Nope.

Magnus, his usual walls rudely ripped away. He has no chance but to admit how shitty he's feeling. And if it wasn't for the circumstances I'd say “yay, finally some communication” but well.

“Fine. I'm in pain,” he says, and Alec turns away, breaking eye contact for a moment because the final confirmation is too much for him for a moment.

I love that Magnus doesn't deliver this line meekly. He's worked up, sure, but there's also a confidence when talking about their relationship. Breaking up is an unrealistic concept to him in that moment because it's so absurd. It's not fixing anything so why would it happen? Makes no sense. *insert weeping sounds*

Brutal and efficient. Very ic.

Damn how does even his blink convey so much vulnerability??? (Somewhere Lexa is nodding approvingly.) (Also why didn't I find gif sets of this :c)

“You said there's nothing I can do to make it better.”

There's an audible difference in his voice, because this part is true and he's not lying. The controlled monotone isn't there anymore. This is his real despair in the face of not being able to do anything to help Magnus.

“It's not your job to make it better.”

Again, if this was a constructive conversation it would be a great step in the right direction. But sadly it isn't, and so this is too little too late.

“Well, what am I supposed to do? Just stand by and watch you suffer for the rest of our lives?”

Alec is still speaking the truth, and this is his motivation to go through with it. Because a) he believes what Magnus said about never being happy again without his magic (sidenote, he didn't, in fact, say that, he said it might never pass (meaning being affected by the magic loss) and he's not happy at the moment, which isn't the same as he'll definitely surely never be happy again without his magic, but whatever) and b) he's sure he doesn't mean all that much to Magnus. He's his current love, but that's about it. Nothing special, not worth leaving such devastating traces in Magnus's life and he certainly doesn't mean as much to Magnus as Magnus means to him. And especially from that second part stems his gravely false assessment of the situation which in the course of consideration leads him to the conclusion that breaking Magnus's heart will hurt less in the long run than him not having his magic. There's also the fact that be probably didn't think about how him doing this to Magnus will confirm every last insecurity Magnus ever had about not being lovable, because I can't believe he would have gone through with this if he'd thought of that. Or at least, he would have been visibly more torn about it, maybe even talked out of it by Izzy, etc. But it's ic for Alec not to think like that, because in a way I guess he loves Magnus too much to really understand that Magnus has these doubts. And Magnus mostly playing his vulnerabilities close to his chest isn't working in his favor here either.

“This isn't you. You're not this selfish.”

This is what I mean. If Alec was less convinced that he's doing the right thing this line might have shaken him out of it. Honestly, I half hoped he'd object this, consequentally incriminate himself and Magnus would catch on that something was going on. But ofc that didn't happen.

The spark line, just. Ouch. Again, very clinical and minimalistc. The way Alec stares, his voice back to being monotone, the way he clenches his jaw. And then his work here is done and he's ready to leave.

It only gets worse from there. Magnus, frozen in disbelieve because this can't possibly be true, and then he starts begging and it breaks my heart every single time okay. To see him reduced to this desperation is just cruel.

I still can't help but note the way Alec readily turns around before Magnus has competely turned around himself. I think he was on the brink of giving in.

The way Magnus holds on to him, hands fluttering over his arms, shoulders, cheeks. The way Alec can't even look at him for the barest second, eyes closed, breath going heavy. Magnus's everything. Just kill me now.

And let's not talk about their kisses and Magnus's whispered words because no. There's nothing to say to that except perfection. Intense, top notch emotion portrayal on both parts.

Then Alec pulls away (how???? gotta admire commitment and an iron will when you see it but boy is it misplaced) and Magnus's hands tremble because this can't be happening, this can't possibly be real.

Note that Alec doesn't look him in the eyes once because he knows if he did, it'd all be over. Also note the look of utter betrayal on Magnus's face. It's not just hurt and heartbreak, it's betrayal because this is what this is. Alec promised him something, made him believe that he could trust in him, in them, and now he's going back on his word.

Well, this was fun, let's never do it again.

Look, I don't have the nerve for this anymore, so I'll keep it short and in no particular order: - Asmodeus is ass powerful and manages to distance-summon himself, yay, nice to know that the one time a shadowhunter doesn't act stupid and impulsive it still doesn't pay off. - Asmodeus killing pissed off warlock lady was both obvious and unnecessary. - His smile is creepy. - “My son needs me.” MY ASS - He still needs to support himself on the back of the chair because he's a weak bitch hahaha.

Conclusion: *sounds of despair*

I just watched the 3x19 promo and.... they're really gonna end Malec on a train wreck this season, aren't they?? Oh God. They hoped they'd have a forth season to work through it and that's why they served themselves with issues and second helpings of extra issues, and since s4 isn't a thing we're gonna get an unsatisfying as hell 2x20-style resolution in the finale. God please say I'm wrong but like. Arrgghhhh.

(Also, credit where credit is due: “Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out?” is the line from Captain America in TWS before the elevator fight.)

[thedancingb19]

As If It’s Your Last

So this is my first attempt at posting fanfiction on here. Please be gentle lol

Damian Wayne x OC

Part 1

The nights were peaceful, as they should be. The city lights glimmered against the black backdrop the night sky provided and gave the city almost an ethereal glow. It almost hid the nasty underbelly the city had to offer. That’s how it always was. The shimmering lights and dazzling views usually distracted eyes from the drug deals, the rapes and anything else that occurred in a city with a high crime rate.

Dark blue eyes hidden beneath a black mask took in the beauty with a different view. They wanted to see the good in all people and all things even after everything that had happened to her. Black curls that had fallen from her braid, hung in ringlets in those sapphire orbs as she was waiting and watching. Patrol was going to be a boring one tonight, especially because she was by herself. Suddenly the com link came to life in her ear and the last voice she wanted to hear came through.

“So when are you going to come home Em?” Grayson’s voice sounded tired. “Running isn’t like you.”

Emerson sighed and stood, the wind whipping against her skin almost burning her in a way. “Is she gone?”

The massive sigh that came through was her answer. Emerson rolled her eyes and leapt down from her perch atop the air conditioning unit to the roof of the Wayne Enterprises building. “Until she leaves,” Emerson bit out, unfortunately showing her age and immaturity. “Consider me out on patrol.”

“Emerson,” A gruffer, sterner voice came on. “Enough of this, get back to the cave now.” A click signaled the lost connection on the link making Emerson grimace. Great, she thought as she jumped over the alley between buildings to the next one in line. She continued this until she hit the pavement where her Ducati Panigale was hidden from the scrappers wandering eyes due to its matte black color. Now Bruce is pissed at me too. Slipping her katanas in the holster she specially built for the bike, Emerson took off towards her home and permanent place of torture at the moment.

                                                                                               *****

She parked her bike in the cave, finding it unusually empty which made her shudder. That means they were already here. Emerson pulled her mask off and ran upstairs through the back staircase so as not to be seen. Once in her room, she threw the mask on her desk before catching a glimmer of red and black lying on her bed. Raising a groomed eyebrow, her blue eyes widened when she realized what it was.

She had gone out shopping with her friend and fellow teen titan, Cassie when they found a dress shop. Emerson had never owned a dress, the Yakuza more focused on making her a killing machine rather than a pretty princess. However she had found a dress that made her heart melt. It was an all-black halter style dress with pleated skirt. Within the pleats, it was a glittering crimson. There were sparkling red bottom heels next to the dress making her realize who bought the dress for her. She sighed softly pulling her curls from the braids and framing them around her face before stripping herself of her patrol uniform.

This was the part that Emerson had grown to appreciate since being adopted by the billionaire Bruce Wayne. She had experienced the opportunity to be what Dick called “girly.” Touching up her makeup and outlining her eyes in black kohl, she slipped the dress on and zipped it up. On her vanity, her eyes drifted to the velvet box containing a necklace she had yet to put on. Emerson swallowed hard and opened the box watching the pink diamonds sparkle in the Sakura blossoms. She lifted it from its velvet confines and stared as it spun in her fingertips. The necklace was a present from the source of her headache and heartache. Just the sight of this made her heart stutter in her chest. Emerson swallowed hard and slammed the necklace back in the box. Slipping her heels on, she fluffed her curls and took a breath before descending the stairs.

Light blue eyes met hers from across the foyer as she descended into the living space. Dick Grayson raised an eyebrow and smiled at her but her eyes were trained on the person with his back turned to her. The glare she felt from her adoptive father though was probably the most apparent. “Emerson,” Bruce stood, as did everyone in the room, including him. “How nice of you to join us, did you finish your project?”

Project? Oh right… She smiled and bowed slightly. “Gomen'nasai, the project took a little bit longer than I was expecting.” Emerson grimaced slightly. Now they definitely knew she was nervous, at least he would. Just like she thought, at the mistake of her using her native language, the billionaire brat looked up.

Damian Wayne was slowly becoming the bane of her existence. Purely, due to the fact that her heart speeding up whenever her looked at her with his emerald gaze. She held his stare evenly before following down his body to his where his hand was on the small of an unknown female’s back. Emerson gritted her teeth and forced a smile. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Emerson Sakamoto.”

Finally the unknown female turned giving her a tight-lipped smile. She was pretty. Not ungodly pretty but pretty. Emerson took in her blonde curls, her light green eyes, the splashing of freckles across her nose, how pale she was, how tall she was, everything about her. “So you’re the Emerson I’ve been hearing so much about. I’m Katherine. I think we have third period together.”

Ah yes. Now I know who you are. Emerson smiled as she shook her hand, one of the blondes that sit in the back and focus more on their makeup than their studies. It wasn’t that Emerson was trying to find things wrong with this girl, but she was green with envy because Katherine had Damian’s affections. “Oh third period, right.” Even to her ears it sounded ridiculous. “Um I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other then.”

“Yeah we will.” Katherine gave a sickly sweet smile and cuddled into Damian’s side. “Dami talks about you so much and I always knew you were in my class but I didn’t know you lived here.”

Emerson was seething in her head. Her smile slowly was getting harder and harder to maintain. “It’s not exactly something I broadcast.”

“Well I would definitely broadcast it.” Katherine giggled, a sound that could easily grate on Emerson’s nerves. “I mean why wouldn’t you? You literally have like everything a girl could ask for.”

A small sigh left Emerson’s lips and she had to resist the urge to just unsheathe her katana and gouge the girl’s eyes out. “I don’t rely on personal possessions to make friends. Not to mention, none of this is technically mine.”

“Okay…. Well with that why don’t we sit for dinner.” Dick was beginning to see the problem and ushered everyone into the dining room. Emerson sighed softly and scrubbed a hand through her hair throwing the curls into her eyes. “You know you could be a little more discreet in your dislike for her.”

Emerson looked up and raised an eyebrow at Grayson. “I never said I didn’t like her. I deal with her in class all the time.” She listened to her heels clicking on the granite tile as she walked towards her older “brother.” Her blue eyes locked on to his icy ones. “Damian just deserves better than her anyways.”

Dick leaned against the doorframe and gave his little sister a knowing look. “I think you and I both know it’s not because she’s annoying.” He tossed his hair out of his eyes. “Does he even know?”

“He’s an idiot if he doesn’t.” She strutted past him and moved to take her seat next to Damian, her normal spot but someone clearing their throat and placing their hand on hers stopped her.

Emerson looked into one’s emerald gaze and felt herself freeze up. “What are you doing?” His voice had gotten deeper, product of puberty, and it made a shiver go down her spine. She swallowed hard and paused trying to get her brain to function properly. “Emerson,” her name off his lips was something she could die happy about but before she could fix her short circuiting being, she was pulled from her reverie by him prying her fingers off the chair. “This is Katherine’s seat. She’s sitting by me.”

Emerson felt all eyes on her as she looked up and saw Katherine’s angry green orbs. “Um, yeah……right.” She moved around the table and sat next to Dick, trying to curl in on herself in embarrassment. Damian shook his head and held the chair out for the other girl. Katherine smiled and kissed his cheek. On the inside, Emerson felt like she was watching her mother being gutted like a fish all over again. Maybe she was being dramatic but these feelings had been haunting her for the last two years. Emerson jumped when a hand covered her thigh and squeezed in support. She looked up and saw a smiling Dick watching her closely. She shrugged his hand off and pushed the food around on her plate. A giggle caught her attention and upon looking up, Emerson saw Katherine and Damian snuggled closer to each other. Suddenly her appetite had vanished.

“Can I be excused?” Emerson stood up and strutted from the table without verbal permission. She needed a long training session and fast.

                                                                                               *******

It had nearly been two hours since Emerson dealt with the dinner disaster and since then she had stripped of her dress and heels changing into a sports bra and leggings. She was currently beating the punching bag within an inch of its life. Every little thing that was frustrating her was being dealt to the bag. The sheen of sweat covered her skin like an oily second layer and her curls were plastered to her face. However her eyes were bright with excitement. This is what she was trained for, what she was built for. Emerson was a machine honed to perfection. She was built to fight and to kill. The second however had been dimmed since training with the bat. This took her mind off of everything including him. In fact, the bag was easier to hit when she pretended it was his face.

With one last kick, the bag gave way and a tear formed as sand spilled out onto the black concrete floor. Emerson kneeled and panted wiping her brow on her arm. Her biceps and triceps screamed in overuse but her mind was still too clouded in embarrassment to listen. It was far too clouded to even register the footsteps walking into the training room.

“So would you like to explain what the fuck that was back there?” Emerson turned so fast her ponytail hit her in the face. Damian stood there impassively watching her, his face devoid of all emotion. He was wearing a thin white t-shirt that stretched tight against his muscular torso and basketball shorts, proof that like her, he was probably there to work off steam. His green eyes hardened and he starting coming closer. “Well Emerson? I’m waiting.”

Emerson scoffed and shook her head. “Yutakana buratto,” she whispered under her breath. “You think just because you in come in here and flare your alpha male testosterone bullshit, I have to answer to you.” She turned back to the leaking bag. “I have news for you Damian, I don’t.”

Damian almost growled in frustration. He had known Emerson since she was seven years old, he ten, and they had gotten very close, very fast. The moment she put him on his ass in a sword fight, he knew she was worthy of his time and patience. However within the last few months, she had gotten distant from him, withdrawing in on herself. Damian wasn’t very aware of how girls operated but he knew something was up when he started gaining other females affections. However he didn’t put two and two together. “Let me rephrase this then. Why were you acting like a fool tonight? Why were you late? You knew I was bringing Katherine home to meet the family.”

“You two have been dating for a month. I highly doubt that that is enough time to introduce her to this clusterfuck of a family.” Emerson swung and hit the bag as hard as she could, forcing more sand out onto the ground. “Have you told her that we all run around in tights at night and fight bad guys?” Another hit.

Damian was at his limit with Emerson’s attitude. He grabbed her and slammed her against the bag, forcing the air from her lungs. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you but I highly suggest you stop acting like an impertinent child and fucking talk to me.”

The air left Emerson’s lungs in an instant. Damian had physically lifted her from the ground, a new development since he never could before. That was when she finally looked up at him, her 5’4” height now insanely small compared to his over six foot frame. When did he get so built? She swallowed thickly and placed her small, calloused hands on his chest as if she had enough strength to push him off. His green eyes were strained with unkempt frustration and anger and his breathing was labored as if he had just run a marathon. Emerson had never seen a more beautiful sight. “Damian….” Her voice was a breathy whisper.

The way his name sounded on her lips, Damian nearly combusted right there. Never once had he heard Emerson’s voice take that breathy tone. Not even when she was flirting with the enemies to get them out into the open. It was a sound he wanted reserved for his name and his name alone. Damian’s anger dissipated as he stared down into her sapphire gaze. She was much like him, scarred in the blood of those she had killed to seek revenge for her mother but unlike him she had a softness to her, a lightness. That lightness he had come to love when she would sneak in and lay next to him at night to keep her nightmares at bay. When she would fall asleep next to him on the couch as he read or even when she would push him in passing just to get him to smile at her. He swallowed thickly leaning down to be at her height. “Tell me what’s wrong Emerson.”

Well shit it’s now or never. Emerson took a deep breath and leaned in. She was too afraid to say it with words so she would tell him with her actions. As her lips briefly touched his, he jolted back like someone had electrocuted him. Emerson pulled away quickly blushing bright red and looked away wriggling from his hold. “I’m sorry….I’m sorry.” Her bottom lip was being worried between her teeth as she stayed incredibly still in his hold. Deep in the recesses of her mind she knew she had ruined the friendship that they had built over the last 9 years.

“Em….” Damian was at a loss for words. She had just kissed him, briefly if it was even considered a kiss but she had intended to. His unrequited feelings that he had suppressed long ago starting leaking out but he had to remain firm. “Emerson…. You know I’m with Katherine… Why would you do this?” He released her as if she had burned him. “Are you that jealous that I am not solely focused on you that you feel the need to play with my feelings?”

Emerson couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “No you jackass!” She threw her hands up and pushed herself away from him before she broke his perfect face. “I have loved you since I met you! I just came to terms with my feelings about a month ago and then you show up with that…that….Ushi!” Her accent came roaring through when she was upset but she didn’t care. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes as she turned away from him. “I’m sorry that I tried to kiss you, I was caught in the moment but do not make me out as the bad guy!”

“I am in a relationship Emerson! What part of this do you not understand?” Damian yelled back, both their voices escalating. Luckily the training room was sound proof so no other unwanted guests could interrupt. Not to mention, Damian was getting distracted by the rising and falling of Emerson’s chest and the fact she was half dressed. He may be a trained assassin but he was still a man and Emerson albeit her faults, was a very attractive female. Her black curls were plastered on her face and her freckles were more apparent since her skin was so flushed. With her back turned, he could see the tattoo that was given to her when she was seven years old marking her as an assassin for the Yakuza. The pinks and reds of the tsubaki blossoms stood out the most on her pale skin as her shoulders hunched over. He didn’t want to admit it but he was so far gone for her.

A thought ran across Emerson’s mind. “Ai,” she whispered. That was her nickname for him, love, besides dumbass. “Can you tell me you love her? Admit to me that she is the love of your life and I will drop it.”

He grit his teeth and shook his head. “You aren’t playing fair Emerson.”

“Answer the question.”

There was nothing but pure silence. Emerson moved quickly then so he couldn’t stop her and pressed her lips to his, stretching on her tip toes to reach. Her fingers threaded through his undercutted black hair and pulled him closer to her. Yes she was a bad person but she had wanted this for so long at this point she didn’t even care.

He didn’t move for a while, she didn’t know if that was from shock or the fact that he didn’t want her, but she continued to hold him close. Finally he held her against him and curved her body into him, kissing her with all of his being. The kiss went from sweet and soft to passionate and hot in less than five seconds, a new world record. His fingers ran through her curls pulling them from the ponytail so they would lay and frame her face. Then the fingers began tracing down the pale column of her throat as his lips followed behind nibbling and sucking on the skin there. Damian bit down hard earning a squeak from Emerson’s lips as he marked her. He kissed, sucked and bit his way down her collar bone physically ripping her sports bra from her chest baring herself to him. Damian smiled softly looking up at her and seeing her appearance. Her lips were bright red from being kissed and her neck was splotchy with the bruises he left there. She looked better than he had ever seen her look. “Hayeti,” he whispered against her skin.

Emerson should have stopped him. Hell she should have never initiated the situation in the first place but when his mouth was attached to the sensitive spot on her neck, she truly could have cared less. A small whimper left her throat as he moved lower down her sternum, kissing the valley between her breasts and then paying equal attention to her pert nipples, sucking and nipping them softly then blowing air over them. In the back of Emerson’s mind, she wondered how many lovers he had been with to know how to please a woman, but she remembered who his father and older brother was. It all made sense.

Damian drifted farther down, kissing a path to her navel to the top of her tight pants. He loved when she wore them in training. Back when he was fighting these hormonal urges for her, he could hardly keep his eyes off her figure. Emerson had always been flexible, able to contort her body in ways unimaginable and it made sense because she needed to fit into some tight spaces to take out some targets. However that flexibility constantly made Damian uncomfortable during training sessions, watching her, wanting to contort her that way underneath him. The small little whimpers leaving her mouth only egged him on further. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this, he was in a relationship, but Emerson and he had been dancing around each other for too long. His feelings for her seemed to be exploding from his being.

“Habibti,” it had been so long since his native language had left his tongue. Katherine didn’t like being called anything in his language because she didn’t understand what it meant. Based on the shiver that went down Emerson’s spine and the goosebumps that rose across her skin, Damian knew she liked it. His lips trailed down to her hip bones and nipped the prominent bones there. His thumbs hooked into the flimsy material, as much as he wanted to rip it off, he knew she would be pissed about it so he eased the material down her toned legs kissing around her thighs nipping the inside of them. Pushing them all the way down, she stepped from the pants leaving her in a black lacy thong. From his knees, he looked up at her, at his goddess.

Emerson kneeled down straddling his lap and kissed down his neck reciprocating the actions he had done to her. This wasn’t how she wanted to lose her virginity but she had always wanted to lose it to him. “Damian…” She nuzzled against him and rocked her hips, feeling him rock hard against her thigh. She knew he could feel how wet she was as she pulled his white shirt off his person. In the last few months, Damian had bulked up making him nothing but pure muscle and oh how Emerson had noticed. She ran her fingers down his chest, the tips stopping in the divets of his abs. She nuzzled his neck and smiled biting her lip.

Damian bit down on her clavicle and sucked a bruise into the skin there before murmuring sweet nothings against her skin. Katherine never let him touch her like this, be with her like this. Ever since he had turned eighteen, he had felt different when his eyes landed on Emerson. From the way her curls fell and framed her heart shaped face, to the way her eyes lit up every time he stepped into the room. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t been touched like this in weeks since he first started dating Kat or maybe it was the years of sexual frustration of staring at Emerson grow into the beautiful young woman but he couldn’t deny how the young Japanese woman in front of him made him feel. His heart pounded in his chest at the feeling of her fingers down his skin and he pulled back to stare into her eyes, completely and utterly lost.

Pale, lithe fingers traced up between his pectorals to his neck and up underneath his jaw. It was as if she was memorizing the planes of his face. As her fingers ran across his lips, he bit and nibbled on the ends watching her carefully. He was always careful. He never knew when someone was going to turn on him and although they had been together for a long time, Emerson was no different. Not to mention, this wasn’t normal behavior for her. His green eyes flickered to her mouth as her tongue darted out and moistened her lips, a nervous habit she had developed in the last few months.

As much as he wanted to take her here and now, the image of his girlfriend popped into his mind. She didn’t deserve this. He needed to end it with her before this thing he had with Emerson goes too far. However, as he felt her lips against his neck, he realized that maybe he could have the best of both worlds. Technically he couldn’t be seen with Emerson in public because everyone knew they were “siblings” but if his relationship with her remained a secret and the public just saw Katherine, it could actually work. “Em…..” It took every ounce of his being to push her back so he could see those gorgeous sapphire blues but he did it anyways and chuckled at the look of desperation in her eyes. Emerson wanted him as much as he wanted her and the thought warmed him. “We need to talk.”

“I thought we were done talking,” her fingers crept closer to the waistband of his shorts and a guttural moan left his lips but he stopped them before they could hit their main target. “Damian…” A whine left her lips and she bit her lip making his eyes catch on her mouth.

He chuckled and held her out in front of him. “We aren’t not even close to being done baby. But we need to cover something first.” He kissed her jaw and felt her relax in his arms.

“I can’t break up with Katherine.”

That statement alone made Emerson pull back and stare at him as if he had two heads. “Wh…What?” If he doesn’t break up with her… Then… “Then why the fuck are we doing this?” Her fury was evident in her voice and she pulled back grabbing her sports bra off the floor, covering herself. “What fucking game are you playing?”

“Beloved, listen to me,” Damian gripped her shoulders as he stood and turned her back to him. “I can’t be with you in the public eye. Everyone considers us brother and sister. It wouldn’t be accepted by father, anyone really.” He pulled her closer hooking his chin over her shoulder. “But, what if I stayed with you in secret?”

Emerson was a smart human being. She was the smartest in her class and that showed in her ranking of number one but she was truly dumbfounded. Was he actually suggesting friends-with-benefits? Her eyes widened and she pulled back from him as if she had been burned. “What the hell are you suggesting?”

The look in her eyes made Damian crumble. He was hurting her without meaning to. “What I am suggesting Emerson,” her name almost made him whimper right there. “I’m suggesting that we continue whatever this is but I remain with Katherine in the public eye. It’s a win-win.”

A beat of silence before, “You understand how stupid that sounds correct?”

“How is it stupid? Emerson,” Damian gripped her forearms and turned her towards him and tipped her chin up to look at him. “I want you. It’s very obvious that I want you, but I can’t leave Katherine. Not yet. Father and her family are close and it would create a rift between the parties.” He cupped her cheek and brushed curls back from her face. “I’m not sexually attracted to her. Not to mention she isn’t interested in that.” His green eyes darkened with lust and he leaned down placing a kiss on Emerson’s lips. “But I want you Em. Please.”

Emerson closed her eyes and hated herself for leaning in to the touches. After pulling back she bit her lip and tried to regain her composure. “What are your feelings for me then?”

Damian paused and kissed her once more. “I’m still sorting through my feelings but know that I don’t hold any romantic feelings for Katherine.” He leaned back in and continued his ministrations against her warm skin. If he could bottle her scent he would. She smelled like vanilla, roses and everything he loved wrapped in a single package. “Please consider Emerson. I would treat you like a queen.”

Emerson whimpered as he touched her but she tried to shake off her haze. “But it’s not the same. You don’t actually love me.” How could she honestly accept this? If he continued what he was doing, she could feel her resistance crumbling. “Or do you?”

“I told you I’m still sorting through all the things I feel,” he nuzzled her and moved his hands to the exposed small of her back. “Emerson, please. Trust me. I can make this work.”

Emerson swallowed hard and considered her options. She didn’t have long to weigh them because Damian was all over her. He caged her body against the wall and lifted her so her legs were wrapped around his waist. His member was pressed against her clothed core and made her breath stutter in her lungs. His teeth were on her neck, nipping, sucking and marking her. “Da…..Damian…..” The strength in her arms was slowly dissipating. “Wait…. I didn’t… I didn’t give you an answer.”

Damian growled and the grip on her hips tightened. It was like she had flipped a switch in him and he was no longer thinking with his right mind. “Last chance…. Emerson.” The words were bit out as if he was physically holding himself back from just taking her right there.

Every though ran across Emerson’s mind in that moment. Was this the right decision? Does he actually love me and is too afraid to say it? What if he’s lying to me? She arched as his lips tugged her erect nipple through her sports bra and a breathy moan left her parted lips. Finally the words that Damian had been waiting to hear left Emerson’s parted lips.

“Let’s do it.”

[sunshine-captain]

Hi! I asked Phoenix (horsegirlharry) for fic recs about star trek tos and she sent me to you! I am a new fan and in desperate need for some good fics since I am having a hard time finding them. I would be very grateful if you could link me to some. Thank you in advance <3

Oh my goodness!!! Hello my friend! I’m honored Phoenix directed you to me, I really am! To tell you the truth, they’re the one that actually convinced me to watch TOS from the start. Welcome to the fandom!! 

To start off with, here is a lovely rec blog that is exclusively TOS (that I’m a mod on, so I am of course biased, but I loved the blog even before I was added, haha!) It’s not updated that often at the moment, usually just when I have some spare time, but there’s a lot of recs already added to look through, and there are plenty of tags to maybe let you look for tropes or genres that you like. :) 

Alright, here go the recs! 

Sha Ka Ree The year is 2258. Jim Kirk is a Lieutenant on the U.S.S. Farragut, Spock the science officer of the U.S.S. Enterprise. When the ships come together for a priority landing party, these two strangers find themselves fighting against the odds for a chance at life in an alien world, and the only way they’ll make it through is by relying on each other. This is a TOS fic that takes place seven years before the show begins. It’s one of my favorite fics ever, it’s beautiful and just perfect. It’s a lovely slow burn, and it contains one of my fave tropes: Jim (Kirk) and Spock crash on an alien world and get stranded there. So, so highly recommended! Honestly, that writer is amazing and anything by them I recommend.

Crash and Burn As the Enterprise’s celebrated voyage winds down, the tension between her captain and first officer escalates, and three days aboard Jupiter’s premier lunar station will change everything. Jim doesn’t handle change very well. Slow-build, character-study prelude to the Lost Years and TMP. Unhappy ending, but canon functions as a fix-it! As the summary states, this fic doesn’t end happily. But it’s basically an explanation as to why Spock does what he does prior to The Motion Picture (I’m not sure if you’ve seen the movies so I won’t clarify just in case you haven’t, haha!), which also means there is a happy ending after the events of the movies. I had it in my bookmarks under the tag I use for fics that hurt me (literally ‘ow’, lol) so apparently I found it pretty painful. ;__;

The Squire of Eros An old nemesis pays a social call to the Enterprise just in time for the annual Valentine’s Day party. On this occasion it’s Spock who draws the brunt force of his irritating personality. But when his holiday-inspired antics turn dangerous, it’s up to the Captain and crew to take him down, and Jim is forced to confront his long-evaded desires regarding his first officer. Written for the K/S Valentine Challenge at LJ, beta’d by purple_spock. This one isn’t even remotely as serious as the other two. It’s honestly just a lot of humor and lightheartedness for the most part. It features Trelane from TOS paying another visit to the crew. :D 

Definitions “We call it t'hy'la,” Spock says. This one is so beautiful. It’s a relatively short oneshot (under 10k) but it’s so romantic and in character and just perfect (this author is another one of my favorites, I would read anything at all by them.)

Pattern Deviations A mind meld is the most intimate of any possible connection – to know and be known, wholly and completely. Usually, melds are advocated for leading to increased understanding and empathy. Spock wonders what it means, then, that everyone he melds with is so repulsed by his mind… Until he meets James Kirk, anyway. This is by the same writer as Definitions; another lovely oneshot by them. I love it! 

And I Am Also Quite Blind In the aftermath of Spock’s blinding in Operation Annihilate, Jim tries to help him through his pain. A fic with premise that Spock doesn’t handily recover from his blindness in Operation Annihilate. Lengthy, painful, excellent. I try to avoid WIPs because I can’t deal with the pain of fics that are NEVER FINISHED, but I started reading this one when it was only halfway through and man, it sucked me in. Worth it! (And it has been completed now, so no worries, haha.)

Undone During first contact with the highly telepathic Nghians, an invasion begins on their home world. A powerful psychic attack cripples the populace–and Spock.Out of contact with the Enterprise and stranded on a planet at war, Jim must struggle to keep himself and his violent, unpredictable first officer alive. Another of my favorite writers! I love this fic. Lengthy, excellent, and that favorite trope of mine again (being stranded, heh), this is great. Please note the tags, though!

What I Am To You I say, “Ask me anything, Spock,” for perhaps the fifth time.This time, you respond, your gaze bright and penetrating, “Perhaps you could satisfy my curiosity in–one particular.”“Of course,” I say enthusiastically.You seem perfectly calm as you ask, “How long have we been lovers?” And I am certain I have heard you correctly, even as I struggle not to allow my astonishment to show on my face. Takes place after the events of the third movie. Spock tries to make sense of his and Jim’s relationship.

Spice It’s a question of biology. Vulcan biology.The problem with falling in love with a member of an insanely private species is that it just might take you the best part of a five year mission to work out that the feelings are requited. And then you might discover that he’s already decided that the two of you can never be together.And what are you supposed to do if he won’t tell you why? Honestly, I’m reccing this one with…some trepidation. I never did decide whether I actually liked the fic or not, but I know a lot of people do like it. It’s most definitely one of the longest fics I’ve ever read in this fandom. It’s the SLOWEST OF ALL SLOW BURNS, which you said you liked, and even though it made me SO ANGRY at one point that I almost threw my phone across the room when one plot twist happened, it’s well written and in character. The reason behind it all is…kind of silly, in all honesty, but it makes complete sense why Spock thinks it would be best if Jim wasn’t with him, just like him to be so overprotective. *sigh* I’d say definitely give it a try and see if you get sucked in!

Translating Ennoia Spock intends to resign his commission with Starfleet six months into the Enterprise’s mission. Then he meets Captain Kirk – his t'hy'la – and everything becomes infinitely more complex. This author again! This fic has lots of pining. I love pining. And I love happy endings and romance and watching Jim and Spock’s friendship develop, too, and this fic has all of that.

Dirty Laundry Jim keeps leaving dirty dishes in the sink and toast crumbs in the bed. Spock deals with the mess silently until an unfortunate ironing incident puts it all in perspective. Jim and Spock have to adjust to domestic life. Spock has to adjust to Jim’s messiness. Domestic Spirk is always wonderful, and I enjoy that in this one it’s not all perfect at first. They have to adjust and learn to actually live together.

Breaking Tradition Newlyweds James T. Kirk and Spock spend their Holiday shore leave alone together in a remote cabin once belonging to Jim’s grandparents. They learn more about each other and Jim introduces his new husband to the Winter Holiday traditions - even if he doesn’t quite understand why he take part in them himself. An unexpected event occurs that disrupts the couple’s newlywed bliss. Luckily, one of them has experience with taking charge of a situation. This one is sooo sweet. Jim just wants to share Christmas with Spock, but they have a mishap. But it’s okay, because Jim takes good care of Spock. (Features cold!Spock, one of my favorite things. :3 )

Ghost in the Machine Tom Paris stumbles upon a Pandora’s Box of loss and regret. This fic is the outlier in this list; it’s actually a crossover of sorts between TOS and VOY. I’ve not actually watched Voyager yet, but that doesn’t stop me from reading and enjoying the fic, so please don’t let that stop you! Let me tell you, though, this has to be one of the most painful fics I’ve ever read. It just makes me cry for Jim and Spock both. It’s so painful. But also really great. But I totally understand if you don’t want to read this one, haha! It’s not for everyone. It messed me up though, I kept thinking about it for days. Especially Jim as he is in this fic. Ugh.

Home Renovation Shortly before his first mission to Romulus, Spock buys a fixer-upper house with Jim. Although Jim is excited to begin renovating their new home, Spock worries it’s only a matter of time before his husband falls off a ladder and breaks his spine. Not to mention, the house’s derelict state is preventing Spock from enjoying his remaining time with Jim. Old Married Spirk, protective!Spock, perfection.

To Be Wed “With a human ruling alongside King Sarek, it makes sense that they would want a Vulcan to rule alongside you. Look on the bright side. At least it’s not Sybok."Prince S'chn T'gai Spock and Crown Prince Sam Kirk are pushed by their families into an awkward courtship, sure to become an awkward marriage. Meanwhile, the younger Terran prince just wants to make sure his future brother-in-law feels comfortable in his new home. But unfortunately for Jim, the road to hopeless, unrequited love is paved with good intentions. It’s an AU, obviously, and it’s by the same author as Sha Ka Ree (who as I mentioned is one of my favorite writers) and I just adore this fic, it’s so great! Pining, slowly getting to watch Jim and Spock falling in love even when it’s ill advised, Sybok!! I’m also just a total sucker for royalty AUs so that helps. 

In My Own Skin After the events of Turnabout Intruder, Jim is trapped in Janice Lester’s body indefinitely and has to learn to carry on with his normal life and duties trapped in this body. Established relationship with Spock, but things become understandably difficult as a result of Jim’s situation. Complicating matters even further, the Enterprise is assigned to a difficult diplomatic mission with a new member of the Federation. I don’t know about everyone else, but my brain definitely went “what if Jim was stuck in that body…” after watching Turnabout Intruder, and this fic definitely satisfied that urge to see that explored. 

Heat Trapped together in a cave until the storm ceases, Jim and Spock find some freedom outside the press of the ship and its responsibilities. Oh look….this writer again. :DDD You’re starting to notice a pattern here, I’m sure. This was written because of a prompt I gave, so obviously I’m a little biased, but it’s just SO perfect??? Cold!Spock, cuddling for warmth (another of my favorites, hello), and just so ROMANTIC that I almost can’t handle it.

Okay, those are all TOS, but now I have just a handful of AOS AUs:

Still, Like Dust Vulcans have been enslaved on Earth for more than fifty years. To Jim Kirk, 14, this is just one more chapter from his history book… until his uncle brings home a Vulcan boy to help on the farm. I know this fic isn’t for everyone, it definitely isn’t, but it really is a great read and I enjoyed reading it a lot. There’s a lot of pain, it’s true, but there’s also a happy ending, if that helps.

Inside The River Starfleet sends Jim a spouse and an oddly vacant honeymoon. Arranged marriage!AU, always fun, and an interesting mystery going on throughout. Great read!

That’s all I’ve got for you for now, this should be a start! Welcome again to the fandom, and I hope you find something in this list that you enjoy. :)

[supergirlimaginesfic-blog]

Lena Luthor x reader (Worked it out, and figured you out)

Request: I love your writing! Can you do one with Lena x fem!reader? It's Lena's first time in the DEO and sees reader training and gets hit with gay panic. Then both flirting over being complete science nerds. Thanks!!     

a/n: YOU BET I CAN. And also... thank YOU! All the prompts you folks send me is what keeps this blog going! I’m getting at it at a relatively steady pace I think, sometimes it’s a little bit difficult than other days to find inspiration, but somehow you all manage to surprise me and remind me of how wonderful this fandom is, and then it makes me want to work even harder and contribute what I can to it! So thank y’all so much!!

Fun little sidenote, it’s actually my birthday today! :D I have too many cute fic ideas swimming around in my head (which is a little bit of a rarity these days) and I’m not even sure when I’m going to get to write for them if I’m going to be off being a loud, delinquent dumbass all weekend. But, yeah! I’m feeling extra inspirational and thankful today... maybe that might even translate into some fics that nobody asked for LOL.

Have fun with this fic though y’all! I was in the mood to write something cracky with J’onn in it and I have not a clue as to why... You’re also a little bit of an ass in this one too but it’s totally fine, it’s part of your charm obviously

- - - - -

For as long as you can remember, you have always been a force of nature. You knew how to work hard and you knew just how hard to push yourself to make the reward that much sweeter.

Simply put, you had fun living life, and despite the handful of troubling setbacks and the unavoidable years-long turmoil that is the discomfort of adolescence, you still looked at the world like it was your playground.

As rambunctious and tenacious as you were, you had just as much discipline, and it paid off deliciously in a plethora of ways.

You would say the human body is a blessed vessel; the tone and curves of some, the muscle and elegance of others, the ability to persevere and flourish, to deconstruct and to rebuild, it amazed you all the same.

What amazed you particularly (and was frequently the subject of ire around all your friends) is how you could eat like absolute shit and still maintain the form that you do.

As it was, you found yourself at the DEO working off last night’s conquest of an army’s weight of cheesy garlic bread and a late night call with Domino’s.

You loved where you work, you loved the fact that you could say you work for a secret government branch (but you couldn’t actually say that, because the admission would cause a whole series of complications you have neither the attention span nor the patience to deal with), and what you loved the most was how spoiled you were with the training facilities.

There were the conventional weight and fitness rooms, the swimming pools, and the standard equipment one could find at any regular gym.

However, the DEO is a respectable, covert government operation and as such, it is absolutely required to have a parkour gym, multiple obstacle course racing circuits, several rock climbing walls which apparently, some of the analysts have hacked into to replicate a ninja warrior course, and even archery and knife throwing ranges, simply because why shouldn’t the DEO have them?

And to think when you first arrived, you thought the Kryptonite lined sparring room made for Kara was the coolest thing you’d seen, how wrong you are now.

You’re starting off easily before your workout, doing your stretches and lifting lighter weights than you usually would. You have to work harder this time - the sweet, sweet release of pizza is, admittedly, your greatest downfall, and you ought to work it off on top of the training you have to do for work.

You hop up and pull yourself up on a chin up bar and figure you’ll make a leisurely time out of it - you’ll wait until your arms and shoulders are screaming bloody murder at you before you focus on another part of your body.

You become well aware of the fact that it’s 6 o’clock in the morning and far too early than you would have the self-respect in any other career choice to stand for when you stifle a yawn and shake your head in an attempt to wake yourself up.

You skipped out on the coffee this time, supposing your night’s misgivings had some consequence, and now you suspect you’re going to begin paying for it emotionally.

The voice of your director, J’onn, pokes through your admittedly still sleepy haze and even before you see him you can hear that his tone is as cordial as you could expect from someone as stoic and brooding as him.

You see his figure approach from the entrance and beside him, a woman accompanies him, though you can’t quite make out who she is.

J’onn gives you a nod in acknowledgement and you return the sentiment while continuing your chin ups.

"The DEO has an abundance of training facilities that are of use to our agents, and hopefully it encourages them to be well-rounded in all aspects of the body’s functions. The investment pays off when combative performance on the field is maximized - it leaves lesser room for error in practice.”

The woman nods at his words and looks at the expansive room, seemingly impressed.

You’re about ninety-five percent sure it’s Lena Luthor who’s with him, and the directionless stream of consciousness monologue you have running through your head derails into curiosity when you wonder what it is she’s doing here.

You have the notion she might be buying the DEO as well after her CatCo acquisition, and a cheeky smile begins to form on your lips when you think to vocalize the question to make sure it is Lena Luthor, of course, but then you see the mild look of warning in J’onn’s face and you’ve somehow forgotten that your boss can quite literally read your mind.

Despite the smile that’s slowly forming on your lips, you raise your eyebrows in silent question and J’onn shakes his head, the two of you sharing a wordless yet intelligible conversation.

You feel the weight of someone’s gaze on you, and when your eyes fall on Lena’s, you can see her mouth slightly agape as she looks at you.

You smile wolfishly at the sight and find yourself instantly awake, the gears in your head turning as you begin scheming.

All thoughts of your boss reading your mind dissipate in the well that is the endlessness of your thirst when you resolve to begin messing around with Lena a bit.

You make a show of letting go of one hand as you continue your chin ups one-handed - you’ve decided at this very second that normal chin ups are boring anyway.

You think you can hear J’onn face-palming, but you can’t be entirely sure.

Lena still stares at you, you can just feel her gaze taking in every inch of your form as you lift yourself effortlessly.

You bring a hand up and give her a goofy wave, a stupid grin spreading on your lips as you emphasize the extent of your strength and ease, and you think you see her jaw become slacker.

You watch as her eyes trail up to meet yours, and instantly, they widen. This time, you hear J’onn inhaling deeply and you hear the imperceptible clearing of his throat, no doubt trying to fathom just what it was he’d done to land himself in the timeline where he’s meant to be dealing with your gay foolishness on so very early of a morning.

“Ms. Luthor, would you care to see the rest of the establishment?”

I think we’ve established she’d care to see the rest of my workout routine, you think mischievously to yourself.

J’onn sighs deeper and you can hear as it becomes the beginnings of an actual honest-to-god groan, and you’d be impressed with yourself if you weren’t so amused by your current preoccupations.

“Yes, of course,” Lena says after staring at you for another moment too long than is socially acceptable.

“Agent (Y/L/N), I’ll see you out on the floor,” J’onn addresses you, seeming to be more than eager to leave the room.

“Yes, sir! See you around.”

You’ve decided that you’ve worked out enough of your one arm and you have to switch it up. You extend your arm fully and let your entire weight hang on one arm before you spring yourself high enough to let go of the bar, easily falling into rhythm again as you grip the bar with your other hand and begin to work out your other arm.

You bring yourself up lazily and give another wave to Lena.

“See ya, Ms. Luthor!” you all but yell across the room.

For whatever reason, you feel in your entire being the compulsion to make her squirm; perhaps you know how easy it is to get a reaction, perhaps because you’re being egged on by the presence of your boss and pushing the limits of insubordination has always given you a thrill - perhaps, more simply, you are a little shit and you live for the excitement of testing people.

J’onn practically leaves Lena behind as he turns his back on you a bit too eagerly, Lena sparing you one last look and you wink at her, enjoying the knowledge that even from a distance you can see how flustered she is from your gesture.

You let your one-handed workout run its course and make your way to the rowing machine. You go through the leg press and your battle rope exercises hastily just so you can get to your favourite part of the DEO’s training facilities and the only reason you woke up so early in the first place.

You love the fact that deep hidden in the DEO’s ominious looking presence, a freerunning playground is at your very disposal, and you were notorious for being the agent who practically lived on it.

If your colleagues didn’t know you any better, they’d say you only agreed to your recruitment with the DEO because you had access to what is essentially five gyms in one, which is only fifty percent of the case if you are to be honest.

But you ended up loving what you do anyway, the point is moot and it all worked out in the end.

You’re on your third run of going through your freerunning and at this point, you’ve stopped running to work out and are more than pleased to just be screwing around.

One of your field partners, Davis, showed up at some point looking just as tired as you first did, and you smirked as she side-eyed your cheeriness, seemingly capable of only a grunt in greeting as she made her way to the spin bikes.

You feel another presence in the room, and you glance at the entrance to see who else of your squad decided to make a surprise early appearance but you see Lena again, this time eyeing you with confident curiosity.

You smile mischievously, not bothering to hide it as you acknowledge her attention, and if you showed off just a little bit more, you definitely wouldn’t have denied it.

You make your way to Lena through flipping and diving and vaulting various obstacles, because walking up to her like a normal person is far too conventional and you are so much better than that.

For her part, she looks impressed by your showboating, and you take your time walking up to your bag as you wipe your face off with a towel and let it drape over your shoulders.

You make a spectacle of showing as much of your body as possible, Lena becoming increasingly flustered again as you get closer, and when you’re standing in front of her you put your hands on your hips.

“Couldn’t get enough, eh?” you ask with a grin on your face.

Lena takes in your body and you watch as her eyes stop at your stomach, the tone of your abs slightly glistening with a subtle sheen of sweat. She blinks several times before snapping out of her reverie.

“I’m more impressed by how little space the DEO has used up to fit so much into one tiny place. You wouldn’t even guess this was here just from the outside.”

“Yeah, I bet,” you say dubiously. “So are you buying us out too?”

Lena’s eyes snap up at yours in mild offense, “no, I am not. I’m only here to sign an NDA. J’onn has been gracious enough to show me around since my resources and knowledge could be beneficial here.”

You regard her carefully for once, really taking in her figure and you begin to scratch the surface of fathoming the wonder that is the great Lena Luthor.

You think you mutter a “holy shit” to yourself in a low enough voice, but you hear her chuckle and you realize you might have been a bit louder than you thought.

“Well shit, how are you supposed to run L-Corp and CatCo and spend your time here? Do you even have hobbies? Aren’t you going to burn out?”

Lena scowls again and your lips quirk into a smile.

“I’ll deal with that when I get there. Frankly, I’ll go wherever I’m needed, but I’m prioritizing CatCo at the moment since it’s a new acquisition, but of course the DEO is exceptional in its necessity and scope.”

You hum in consideration and shift your weight, bringing a hand up to your forehead to wipe at the excess of sweat still there.

You suspect Lena is trying her absolute hardest to not let her eyes drop to your abs again, and you laugh softly to yourself at the thought. When you move your eyes to look at her, you catch her staring at your arms rather intensely and you break out into full laughter.

For now, you decide, you’ll let it slide.

“Well, that’s a shame. Your last TED talk on AI brought up a lot of interesting things I never really considered before. Are you not going to do anything about that?”

Lena’s eyes snap to you again and there’s a disbelieving look on her face.

“You watched my TED talk?”

You hesitate, “uh, yeah? Is that not a thing I should do? You’re pretty much a genius, it’d be interesting to hear what you have to say. And it does help you’re a lot better looking than the majority of your counterparts in STEM.”

Lena laughs at your backhanded compliment and tilts her head in challenge.

“All this talk of yours and for all I know, you vehemently deplore everything I surmise.”

“No, not at all,” you reply with sincerity. “You’re pretty much one of the only people who are pioneering some sort of course for AI technology right now in the country, if not the grander spectrum of the world. Human technology and AI is a whole different playing field, and who knows what otherworldly technologies there are that surpass our own? In this world anyway, we have to stick with what we know and not mess around with other tech.”

Lena smiles broadly at your response, seeming to be absolutely taken with your engagement.

“But if we do have access to alien technology, at the very least should we not examine and study it thoroughly to compare and see how we can apply certain principles to our own Earth technologies?” she asks curiously.

“I don’t think we should. It works on their planet, and we’re at the stage of scientific development we are currently at for a reason. You even brought it up yourself, AI is more than just a technological endeavour.

“You made pretty compelling arguments about how this is a science that is matter of ethics and philosophy and other deeper existential inquiry. Honestly, I don’t really think our society is ready for or even capable of understanding that kind of introspection or critical thinking - not in the science realm and most definitely not in the everyman’s realm.”

There’s a softer look about Lena, and you don’t really have time to think much of it when you add another afterthought, seemingly reeling at the turn of your conversation.

“I mean, you see how we still act about living among aliens, you really think we’re ready to make something that’s capable of emulating our intelligence? Using alien technology to speed up a process that we are socially and culturally just not ready for is such a bad idea. Until we grow as a society and develop together, we can’t just push forward and force something like that into the mix. It would just be detrimental to introduce something we don’t understand.”

Lena smiles at you meaningfully as you finish your little rant. You think you see something like fondness in her look, but you think nothing of it for now.

“Well, I’m glad my talk has impressed quite a lot on you,” she says earnestly after a moment.

“I’m not just all muscle, you know,” you reply cheekily.

“Of course not. No matter how exquisite you look, I don’t think I’d be much interested in merely staring at you in silence for an extended period of time.”

Your raise your eyebrows at the remark and she squints playfully at you in jest.

“Why don’t we continue this compelling discussion we’re both evidently capable of over dinner? You can get your delightful conversation and stare at me for as long as you’d like.”

You smirk when you see the slight flush of colour on her face.

Lena hums in mock consideration, “I don’t know, it would be rather inappropriate if you went to dinner with your shirt off. I might just have to pass.”

“Who said we had to go out?” you state suggestively.

Something flashes in Lena’s eyes, but the sentiment is fleeting. When she replies in a low voice, you feel a swirl of excitement kindling low in the pit of your stomach.

“You seem to enjoy playing with me,” she says.

“I’m not playing with you. I’m not doing anything.” You move just the slightest bit closer to her.

“Perhaps that’s what you’d call it, but that only means you’re letting yourself get carried away by it,” and then, you add slowly, “that only means it’s working.”

You think Lena’s forgotten to breathe, but she looks at you defiantly and you smile at her look.

Lena still doesn’t say anything, just keeps looking at you in challenge and with interest and you think to fill the silence.

“You know, I’m aware that you’d hate to part with the strapping image of me in nearly nothing, but I do have to put a shirt on again at some point.”

“By all means, go ahead,” Lena says, this time unabashedly trailing her eyes over your body one last time and biting her lip when she catches your eye.

You heart skips a beat and you feel yourself become warmer. You don’t say goodbye to Lena, somehow you know she’ll still be around when you come back from the locker rooms.

You spend the moment of reprieve that you get hidden away to replay your interaction with Lena and you can’t help but smile to yourself in amusement. There’s something about her that makes you come more alive and experience everything more intensely, and you think you’re already hooked on the feeling.

When you get back to the entrance to the training room where you think Lena is still waiting, you hear laughter and catch the figures of Kara and Alex.

“So you’ve met Agent (Y/L/N) finally? Seems like it was only a matter of time. She’s an actual monkey, have you seen her working that parkour course like it’s nothing?” you hear Alex say.

“Lena, are you okay? You look like you’re having trouble breathing,” Kara adds.

Your laughter catches their attention and you watch Lena nearly stutter in protest.

“Ms. Luthor was particularly interested in the fitness facilities here, suffice it to say,” you say as you approach the group.

“Yeah, I wonder why,” Alex mutters under her breath.

Kara nudges an elbow into her and Alex flinches with a loud groan.

“But we’ve learned that I am the most beautifully complex creature, equal parts alluring, intelligent, and pretty drop dead gorgeous, so we’re going out to dinner later.”

Lena sputters in surprise, “and when exactly did I agree to this?”

“You don’t seem the type to be giving so much of your attention to someone who didn’t deserve it, Ms. Luthor,” you say with a wink. “But no one’s stopping you from backing out.”

When Lena does nothing but shake her head in annoyance with you, you take that as your approval and you grin to yourself. You think that you’ll ask her out properly again when you’re both alone.

“(Y/N), keep it in your pants until we’re gone, please,” Alex says as she rolls her eyes.

“And be decent when J’onn’s around, he can read minds, remember,” Kara supplies helpfully.

Suddenly, Lena’s eyes widen comically, and the knowing look Alex gives you and the blush that colours Kara’s cheeks has you bursting into laughter.

Lena mutters something quickly under her breath that you couldn’t quite catch, and then she’s leaving the group and waving goodbye as she hastily makes her departure.

You think about how much fun you’re going to have teasing her about your boss’ otherworldly abilities and sharing your own stories of a similar folly.

It’s only later you realize that you somehow landed a date with Lena Luthor, and you’ve long ago stopped laughing and instead opted for mild panic at the very fact.

[trulyhumblenarcissist]

Hannibal or Hannigram

Well.. Unfortunately this amusing journey has come to an end. Yesterday I watched Hannibal's last episode and I am still hooked on it.

I'm not a quiet media consumer, I literally devour everything I like (lol), the faster the better. However I wish I was more disciplined and patient this time around, since Hannibal is such a deep and complex work you can't just binge watch it. If you're too hasty you'll end up missing some key points, affecting the whole experience. Every single line the main characters share is full of double meanings, layers on layers of lies and half truths that force you to constantly question your level of understanding.

The light is rarefied, usually diffuse rather than direct, the colors are cool-toned, never loud, with the exception of some intense flashes of red and orange. This contributes to create a deliberately somnolent, dreamlike atmosphere that accompanies the spectator through a meticulous, yet poetic inspection of the human unconscious.

The main subject of analysis is Will Graham, a man so skilled in understanding others the he usually loses himself. His "pure emphaty" is both a gift and a burden, something that makes him probably the most innocent being on hearth, a compassionate and merciful human mirror incapable of really condemn anyone, because he's too prone to wear other skins, even if they belong to serial killers.

On the other hand we have Hannibal Lecter, an extremely conscious and self aware man that uses his strong personality as a defense and attack tool. He secludes his real self into a fake human suit, impervious to any intrusion. This perfect camufflage that acts like a solid shield allows him to undermine  other people without being affected. Hannibal is basically the crafty puppet master always in control, while Will needs to be "contaminated" by humanity in order to better comprehend it. Apart from this fundamental difference, however, Will and Hannibal are tremendously similar. Both intelligent and condemned by an overly lucid vision of reality, they "feel things" deeply and can read the minds of other people as printed books. Many common traits attract these two men in a way that seems almost fatal.

Hannibal is soon interested in Will, although initially it is a simple professional curiosity: Will's mind and his peculiar functioning are a frequent topic of conversation in psychiatric circles. Doctors and psychologists wonder whether Will is a genius or a psychopath. Hannibal's approach is completely different. He doesn't seek a demarcation line between madness and sanity, he doesn't believe in psychotherapy either, or at least, he refuses the concept of a treatment that makes people more willing to be subjected to social conventions and morality. Hannibal is definitely a master manipulator, but I don't think he has ever wanted to "shape" his patients. He aims for their darkest fantasies and fuels them, trying to bring them to light. His therapy is like wearing a pair of corrective lenses: you put them on and you see things you originally didn't notice because you couldn't focus well. Things that had ALWAYS been there, in your deepest core, denied and soffocated by fear and shame. Hannibal's velvety voice is never imperative, it drives without force, it creates a sort of psychological malleability that allows you to find your true self, no matter how ugly it is, and leads to catharsis, unlimited freedom and inevitable destruction.

Without any moral qualms everything becomes possible and God himself turns from Judge to loving ally.

On a metaphorical bed of twisted personalities, the troubled relationship between Will and Hannibal develops harshly. It can be considered the true and only protagonist of the story. A LOVEstory in all respects, filled with courtship, burning passion, fear and desire for the other, tenderness, betrayal, redemption... Death.

Honestly I was pretty surprised by how much this mad love between Hannibal and Will seemed "right" to me. There is nothing canonically healthy in their relationship, yet they both find their own safe place in the other. At the end of the day, shouldn't love be just like that? Ideally, love should allow us to acknowledge our most intimate nature, through the expression of desires that we would never reveal to anyone else. Love should make us feel safe and confident thanks to the reassuring awareness of being perfectly understood and accepted for what we are, no filters, no shame. In reality, however, we keep some barriers to protect ourselves and our loved ones. Boundaries makes life apparently easier, creating a comfort zone where we can recognize our intact individuality and protect it from contamination and excessive exposure. Humanity is just as coward as that... But wouldn't it be nice to leave everything behind, every defense, every fiction, every useless embellishment? Wouldn't it be nice to competely surrender to the other (desire becomes surrender and surrender becomes power)? Will's answer to this question is yes, but only after a very rough path.

The first season is characterized by a strong relational asymmetry. Will is completely succube, he is sick and vulnerable, so he is eventually imprisoned for crimes committed by Hannibal. With the second season reality begins to be completely blurred. We are kept in anxious waiting, trying to find out if Will has truly become a killer without remorse, but in reality the most radical transformation is Hannibal's. Such a huge metamorphosis projects itself subtly under our eyes and we're too focused on other things to effectively catch it. 

Hannibal lets himself being fooled by Will's farce, he dangerously lowers his defenses and, as it happens to any "common" human being, he falls in love. He falls in love so deeply he begins to project a future with Will, far away from everything and everyone, the two of them caught in an everlasting artistic battle against this vulgar world. Actually the romantic family portrait in Hannibal's fantasies involves two fathers (murderous husbands as Freddie Lounds would say) and a daughter to protect and educate. Abigail represents communion, affection and heredity. All of this comes to a cruel end when Hannibal discovers Will's true intentions. Well, technically Will himself tells Hannibal to run away, but this is not nearly enough to what Hannibal wished for. He was laying bare in front of Will and Will ignored his feelings, or at least he violated his trust.

The third season leads us to a full closure. After a short period of separation Will and Hannibal meet again. They try to get rid of the yoke that binds them through different and useless attempts to kill each other. At some point the end up  escaping death together and Will, full of doubts and consumed by a deep discomfort, allows Hannibal to flee. He asks Hannibal never to look for him again and assures that he would do the same. This is Hannibal's equivalent to a terrible defeat, another painful rejection that drives him to a drastic decision: he lets himself being captured so that Will will always know where to find him.

The yoke is still there, around their throats, more lush but equally heavy.

Will tries his best to lead a normal life, he marries a nice woman and even takes the role of the perfect foster parent, but after three years of relative tranquility, the great red dragon makes its appearance and the fragile veil of stability is torn from its sharp claws. The great red dragon is a formidable catalyst: it symbolizes passion and raw nature, eroticism, primordial impulses that  express themselves freely, away from the inquisitive eye of the Christian God.

Francis Dolarhyde physically drags Will to a point of no return, he forces Will to decide who should be saved and Will chooses: the last fig leaf rushes to the ground leaving him completely naked and finally free. Will kills the great red dragon that was an almost perfect work of personality construction and by doing so, he acquires enough power to finally abandon the "idea of ​​duty", the preconceived dimension of right and wrong. He embraces both Hannibal and himself at the same time, he forgives and fully understans the indomabile force of his feelings for Hannibal: by loving him he truly loves himself.

"It's beautiful": Will whispers full of emotion, soaked in blood, dark like the night, clinging to freedom and new awareness. He finds his peace after a terrible journey, he finds it in Hannibal and in the stormy waters of the Atlantic Ocean.

I don't think it's possible to write a more poetic death for this two fatal lovers... Hannibal finally reaches Will with the power of his endless, loving stare and Will accepts it as an anchor of salvation that drags him into a place of absolute spontaneity and security, the true paradise on earth.

[amnesiaguy]

Hello! So, I've been thinking a lot about my gender and, if I'm actually transgender, and I was wondering if you're ok with describing how you learned you were trans? I understand if you aren't comfortable, though, so have a lovely day either way! :)

ok so first of all i was always super uncomfortable with femininity? i had long hair as a kid and then i cut it all off in third grade because it was stressing me out, and my mom literally had to coach me into saying “oh, it got in my way” when people asked about it instead of saying “i hated it, it made me so uncomfortable”. (which apparently just alarmed grownups. whatevr.) all my childhood friends were boys and i only wanted to play-pretend as men. 

i also thought it was normal for people to feel discomfort to the point of nausea every time they had to dress up for a family function and put on a dress. ANYWAY.

i came out as bi when i was thirteen (circa ~2010), and that’s when i started wearing makeup and stuff, because i figured, there we go. i’m just gay and sad, that’s why i feel this way. but i was still very unhappy and it wasn’t getting better.

[age 14/15 is a black hole from trauma so idk what was going on with me then. i wore a thick red jacket 24/7 because i didn’t want anyone touching me. it was a Bad Time.]

i started flirting with the idea of being a boy at theater camp, of all things, because they let me play men onstage and it felt... really... good. too good. i just wanted people to keep calling me “he” and letting me be a man onstage, i fucking lived for the performances when the entire room would look at me and see a man standing there.

so that tipped me off. eventually. i did a lot of internet research and came out to my two best friends first, then my family a little after, came out to my school (against the school’s wishes lol...). that was sort of that, i knew i was a boy. i was still a hot mess, but it was easier to get invested in my therapy and start teaching myself how to cope when i was going by the right name.

[theycalledmecrazy]

It's strange to say, but I'm one of the last people to shop in the wee hours of the morning at a Walmart. I finished my shopping and approached the cash register right around midnight. The cashier had just clocked in and had just been told that was her last night working the late shift as a cashier. Starting tomorrow, all the Walmarts across the nation will close at 11 PM. Third shifters like my cashier will be in charge of cleaning and sanitizing a store and assisting in restocking for the next day.

It's a strange thing to think about. Our lives are so convenience based. Anytime day or night, if you need something, there was probably a store within a reasonable driving distance that you could go to and find what you need, barring any specialty necessities. 

I wonder to myself if this move won't be slightly counterproductive to containing the virus. As it stands now, shoppers are spread out in the major big box stores over a 24-hour period. Now, with many stores taking 8 or so hours off in the middle of the night, shoppers will only be able to access the store within a 16 to 17 hour timeframe, naturally leading to a higher concentration of people during those times.

It's been a week of interesting firsts. Just the other day, Mike Dewine, governor of Ohio made the announcement that Ohio schools would be closed for 3 weeks. For the first time in history, every Disney park on Earth is closed at the same time. And for the first time in my knowledge, my job has authorized people who don't normally work from home to do so.  

I digress from my point. First, I suppose some backstory will be due. This is being written on the Ides of March in the year 2020. I am in Columbus, Ohio, United States. I am 37 years old. The country, state, and city have all declared states of emergency in the wake of the spread of the Covid-19 virus pandemic. As I dictate this to my phone, I'm driving home from Sidney Ohio, having just completed a route delivering medicine to nursing homes. I work two jobs.

I began researching this disease and the spread of it well before it hit American shores. I've been watching the John Hopkins 'heat map' since the second week of January, a time when the only mention of coronavirus you heard was your coworker telling a joke involving it going best with lyme disease. I've learned about its capability of spread in an urban populace, and I watched the drone footage of the "ghost city" of Wuhan several weeks ago, long before it went viral (ha!) via Facebook. A booming urban metropolis reduced to how London looked in 28 Days Later. I learned about the term 'Community Spread' before it was ever uttered on American live feeds. My productivity at work, my attention to friends, my normal functioning bottomed out as I became hyperfocused on the menace that I begged the universe in vain to keep overseas. I should have known, and should have been preparing. But, as humans are prone to be, I was a product of my environment. That culture of convenience and procrastination. But now there's no more convenience and no more procrastination.

I now know that things are going to get worse. These kind of rushes on product like we've been seeing is just the beginning. We are going to face days of true scarcity. I fear that even with my recent stockpiling, that my "preparedness" has come too late. I remember my father teaching me how to stockpile and prep for days when there would be scarcity, and I've failed to do so effectively. Over the last week or so, I've done my best with the small amount of resources I have. As things stand now, my shelves are stocked. I know how to ration in emergency situations, and although it will suck, I know that I can ration much smaller amounts because I have a lot of fat on my body that my body will live off of for extended periods of time. I always joked that being overweight was just a surplus Y2K survival kit. Turns out, that's truer than I'd like it to be. I thought keto was my path to losing weight. Turns out the coming days will be much more effective. 

The scenarios that we had always gone over in are prepping drills involved an attack on the United States or some uprising within. All that boogaloo horseshit you hear, or heard. Ways to make sure that your food was secure from people that might be looking for it. Making sure that you had weapons to defend yourself and those in your care. Safeguards against basic things like frostbite or heat exhaustion. Basic first aid. Foraging. Boy Scout shit. The drills never included anything like Covid-19. At first we were told that the illness was little worse than a common cold, just a little easier to spread the people. Now, we are getting reports that it creates a fibrosis in the lungs, and even if you recover from your bout of the illness, you can be left with up to 20% reduced lung capacity. People in Hong Kong are now reporting that healthy adults that have recovered from the disease now get winded by a brisk walk. In Japan, a recovered patient has tested positive for the disease again, making the medical community wonder about the antibodies that the bodies of recovered SHOULD be producing. Dad and I never prepared for anything like that. I think the best hope in the situation that we prepared for would be that any human we come in contact with will have also been similarly reduced in  capacity, since this disease looks to be one that will spread to a majority of the populace. I'm glad that part of preparedness is adaptability, but I'm still sitting here rambling.  

I've tried to focus on purpose in the last several days. I keep telling myself that it's important to stay positive and to still do the things that I love doing. Indeed, I still play cards with my roommate and my gaming group of friends, all aware that we may wind up having to quarantine once 'things get bad'. I watch people that I love still doing the things that they love, seemingly unaware of the world that's collapsing around us. What I like to go see a movie? Would I like to go to the mall? Would I like to go see a show in a theater? Absolutely. But while many do not notice, we don't live in that world anymore. Well, some still do. They'll live in that world until the very last moment they can - which is why I had to live in this new one so soon. Even now, when it's becoming apparent that the world as we knew it is over, social media is alight with blissful ignorance and vapid resistance to the world we find ourselves in. 

When the first cases were reported in the state, it was on a day I found myself financially unstable. I couldn't have prepared for anything that day if I'd wanted to - I had victoriously paid off two large pieces of debt and was done with an 'only has money' week until next payday, and even the next paycheck had obligations. Instead of writing a plan, I wrote letters to my loved ones with advice for the upcoming hard times, and an apology for leaving them(before you all sound the alarm, that's not what this is, and that feeling has long since passed). Reading the letters to myself, I realized the cowardice behind the words, and despised myself for a few days after deleting them. Though, admittedly, even now as I watch the heat map and watch the numbers rolling in, I somewhat long for cowardice, but steel myself and square my shoulders for the task ahead. 

Now this.

Some friends have asked me to promise to get their loved ones to them if I'm closer to them than they are, or even to keep them with me and keep them safe. For all my misanthropy, I guess people still see me as some kind of fringe guardian in many respects. I suppose it's because they know I'd die before letting someone I care about die. I wonder if it makes me exploitable, or if maybe that's just my purpose. It makes a lot of things make a lot of sense. Sometimes in the horror movie of life, you're the one that distracts the monster so the others can get away. I have no illusions of being the hero, but I won't turn down the opportunity if it happens. Ugh, this paragraph was self serving as hell, but I'm not deleting anything at this point. Watch me ramble. Maybe there's something valuable in it. 

That time is a bit off, but I know that I'm going to see loved ones die in this, and I know that my friends in my time that read this will think I'm being overdramatic(I'm sure some of them haven't even made it this far and have either called me or forwarded this to authorities - both unnecessary, I assure you). I know that I may not survive what's coming. So I think the best thing I can do is do what I've always done. Write. I will write and hope that my words will create a culture among those that read my words in a distant future. My goal is to make you, the reader, not make the same mistakes we made, the mistakes I made, the mistakes anyone made. I won't have an editor, most likely, so forgive my rambled mess of a memoir. Maybe someone in the future will edit and make sense of it all. 

I hope that this is all just me ranting and raving about something absurd and in the future this will embarrass me and we'll all laugh about it. If you're in the future and reading this, however, that means that scenario isn't what happened. I hope things are better for you. I hope that I'm talked about with good words. I hope some of my loved ones are the ones who saved these words and shared them with the world. It would be really great if it was me, but I'd probably edit out this whole paragraph, so probably not. That's ok. Either way, it's now 2:30am and I must unload groceries and get them shelved. Tomorrow is another day, and I'm going to play some video games while I can like the old millennial I am to escape for a couple hours before my nerves finally let me sleep. See? Rambling run-on sentences. You'd never guess I was an English major. Ms. Somers would be so disappointed (lol). I told my friends in February that we'd be ordered to stay at home soon. They called me crazy.

I didn't realize until just this moment that if anyone ever reads this aside from those I send it to in order to preserve it, I'll essentially have been writing my own eulogy. That's fine. I'll take that.

I decided to create this Tumblr on March 30, 2020. In the two weeks since writing this prologue, things have progressively gotten worse. I will write more tomorrow.

[xavierdominico-blog]

My review of League of Legends

We initially reviewed League of Legends at 2009, when it initially introduced. It's changed significantly since that time, so much that we chose to review it .

What can it be?

She understands I am there. She just can not see me entering the shrubbery too --nullifying her array edge and letting me shut in with my Aquaman-esque trident. So rather, the Caitlyn participant requires a potshot to the field having a skill that hurts in a direct line; no targeting demanded.

It is sufficient to kill my diminished winner Fizz in 1 hit. Additionally, it is exactly what I have been awaiting. Fizz can pogo jump on his trident, which makes him immune to these led attacks, and jump forward in a destructive slam. I utilize the momentum to dodge Caitlyn's burst and shut the space she wished to keep. One lunging strike afterwards, the contested is dead in the dirt, and a soul of gold and experience points just prepares me farther for another battle.

Such tense one-on-one, do-or-die struggles happen in each League of Legends game, however the adrenaline in these minutes makes them memorable. League is a lens which amplifies every emotion about the spectrum.

Every game is like a whole multiplayer action-RPG condensed into 20-to-50 moments. Each player begins with only control of one unit and one particular ability. They are divided into two teams of five and let loose from each other within a top battlefield. Smiting enemy components in real time makes experience and gold, which grant access to stronger abilities and a selection of better equipment. The group that wins is the group that best leverages its components' specific strengths.

Your final aim is to destroy the opposing group's headquarters. The combating largely occurs across three streets leading to every"Nexus." Each path is safeguarded by AI sentinels and individual players distressed to warrant their own use of free time.

I really don't blame them. In addition, I need my in-game announcer to yell"success" and warrant the strain and valuable life span I invested demolishing virtual warriors and towers. I would like to feel like becoming flanked and murdered five occasions in the first half hour has been worthwhile to get your own last-minute push into enemy land that cinches the triumph --because I had the foresight to decide on a late-game winner made to return from behind. The psychological investment in these strategic gambles is increased by the period of the games, raising the high of success, while creating every minimal texture that much lesser . It is a recipe for both friends and perfect strangers to flip their frustration on every other, including a private layer to each perplexing loss.

League of Legends' pay-per-character business version pushes against mastering the sport and knowing how its winners play.

Every game you re-dedicate to playing an important role on a staff, such as support or tank, attempting to accrue experience, cash and rewarding player kills quicker than another group. Nevertheless, the actual investment in League of Legends goes far beyond this. You can find 140 playable characters and climbing. That is not even such as passives from mix-and-match runes, or charms which may be outfitted in front of a game begins.Between the absolute scale of factors at play, and League's well-documented toxicity (even the match's own programmers are not resistant to it), it is among the most daunting matches ever.

League does little to alleviate any of the strain. Allowing countless gamers to become civil is a demanding, probably Sisyphean endeavor, but easing players to League's sophistication needs to be more viable eight years following launch. This is the way you pick a winner. This is the way you buy them a wonderful pair of sneakers. This type of thing. Where it's flounders, or barely even attempts to help in any way, is in describing when and why you need to apply those principles to some given situation.

League of Legends' pay-per-character business version pushes contrary to mastering the sport and knowing how its winners play. It is going to take you a few decades of grinding, the greater part of a million bucks, or a mixture of both to unlock the entire roster indefinitely. There is a weekly rotation of free personalities, also, but not one of those choices compare to on-the-job instruction. When I get crushed by Ryze, for example, I could spit over his kit beyond the match, but nothing is a true stand-in for understanding the way he manages under my index finger.

This free-to-play version remains a significant impediment into LoL's availability --and of course its'innocence' as an esports occurrence --and a few strange UI options do not help, either. You can not analyze a winner's skills from the select display, as an example. Likewise, you can not peruse an opposing player's abilities mid-match.

But if you work beyond the competitive team conversation and devote an whole lobe of your mind to memorizing movement rate and cooldown timers, League's high highs return quite lots of lost ground. I have developed the patience to just start Brand's fiery, bouncing death-ball if it is certain to ricochet off each enemy winner.

At its finest, League of Legends is aggressive, high-energy mathematics. Maintaining your attack damage take, the staff tasked with pumping out constant damage in large staff struggles, in one of 3 lanes to soak up gold and experience points may only provide you the increased amount. Then again, possibly moving them about to land the profitable killing blow squishy, defenseless affirms is your thing to do.

At its finest, League of Legends is aggressive, high-energy mathematics.

Success is not only a prefabricated strategy coming together. The understanding that reside human beings are supporting the track, inventing their own approaches to prevent me, means that I have well and truly outplayed individuals of apparently similar ability.

And thanks to League's relatively speedy action--only marginally twitchier than Dota two's yawning chess games and a hair more than Heroes of the Storm's blatantly accessible skirmishes--there is an awareness of physical domination, also. Among the most powerful jelqing in Dota, as an instance, continues for a maximum of five minutes. A very similar ability at League of Legends shirts out at roughly two-thirds of this. When I am overly fussy to step from the manner of Ashe's knockout strike in League (each time), I am back to ditching magic missiles that far quicker. If I reside.

As games advancement, things purchased with hard-won gold create player-versus-player struggles more prevalent and ferocious. The Dark Cleaver, a key in-game thing for Illaoi, among my favourite winners, supplies a wonderful cushion of wellness and a few attack power. Maybe more incredibly, the chopper also slows down its wielder's skills significantly quicker. So do a number of different products.

The consequent shorter period between spell casting raises the speed of struggle without taking away the attention from specified character abilities. I understand Illaoi summons ghostly tentacles together with her passive capability. Things like the Dark Cleaver simply call the tendrils to my help faster, and allow Illaoi reach harder in between. They seldom ask me to recall over her fundamental spells.

So while getting into League takes a lot of memorization, mastering it's much more about finesse. Every player begins every game with limited tools. The wiggle room for outdoing competitions is largely found in response time and accuracy. Or you may be playing just and your competitors, but losing anyhow.

The solution is that it does not. It is simply not necessarily the same clique of favorite children month .

That altering assortment of S-tier selections, bans, and personality builds is known as the meta, and I have always known League's to become only slightly narrow. When a specified strategy functions, it has a tendency to work really well, and the top echelons of aggressive play cling to it for dear life.

In 2017, it had been the insufferable tank . Immortal abominations such as Dr. Mundo and Maokai spent this age whomping each other with the seriousness of a Nerf war whilst dragging out every game to double its normal span.

Twice monthly spots make small but significant changes to the mathematics behind the mayhem. Each such alteration nudges optimal champion options in 1 direction or another, but there is essentially never a totally level playing field.

There is always a possibility the numbers will tell you to decide on a specific tank or support which simply does not strike your fancy. That is a simple fact of life in almost any aggressive game. However, League's often slender circle of top-tier winners restricts those choices even further. And because you do not have access to each given champ in any particular time, you might be stuck using the lemons of this meta until grinding enough humorous cash to rejoin the contest.

That should not matter much in casual sport buffoonery. Teamwork and ability are the higher factors . There is an all-random winners manner for people who would rather have silly fun with charm slinging. But if I am currently dedicating myself into League's learning curve, then I need the guaranteed payoff of a correctly tactical brawl. Along with also the'principles' of this meta that begin at professional drama finally trickle down to my degree. It is absolute candy for each armchair analyst seeking to blame for their loss on anybody but themselves.

I have been advised to not play my favourite wizards for this very reason. I have been told my triumph did not count since I was being"cheap" I have seen new players leave games since a noxious teammate always blamed their inexperience to get a ruined turret. Nevermind that everyone started someplace. As frequently, it is another crack for this notorious rust to float in.

A certain type of variety Luckily, League of Legends includes a great range of fantastical weirdos to select from. Illaoi is my existing go-to: a brawny, squid-worshipping priestess that siphons enemy spirits with a large, iron skull.

Not all the character style is that trendy.

There is nothing inherently wrong with hot personalities, but League's devotion to girls with a slender and busty body kind feels on par with these pop-up advertisements for sexy Clash of all Clans clones. It is a disappointing position quo for winners that typically play with in interesting ways. The musically inclined Sona, for example, sports a superbly challenging mixture of service abilities that vary based on the sequence she uses .

Every smart shortcut involving lanes, or tap of the key that a nanosecond quicker than your competitor feels like a triumph.

It is that variety of drama which produces LoL so intriguing. Sure, maybe not every winner or spell functions in addition to others on paper. But there is a seemingly endless flow of these to attempt . Say Fizz had neglected me contrary to Caitlyn. Maybe I could teleport from the way as Ezreal, or halt the attack from happening by magnificent Caitlyn with New (Correction: a previous version of the review misstated among Jinx's skills ). League's strong roster is among the greatest strategic toyboxes readily available now. Odds are you will never cease being amazed by the amazing ways that your human foes utilize them to slide past and creep upon you. You will surprise yourself, also.

Maybe League of Legends is becoming only a little complacent in the decades since it established. The sexed-up costumes and obstacles to entry feel as the goods of a rather major game which has not had to increase its viewers in some moment. But breaking beyond those issues finally rewards new gamers with grand, amazing complexity. Every smart shortcut involving lanes, or tap of the key that a nanosecond quicker than your competitor feels like a triumph. League makes these minutes downright ordinary, but barely less special for this. And its always changing roster means there is another suggestion simply waiting to slip up your sleeve.

[themannychronicles]

Aborted, Contorted, and Unreported

How many of you actually sat and looked at someone’s life and wondered how they got to this age or time of their life without being pushed off a cliff? I have sat here for months reviewing, looking, and wondering about their pattern of thought, and the sad part about it is, there is a pattern, but it’s locked within their emotions.

Emotional people are highly irrational, sensitive, and insecure people. If your emotions operate your entire life, then you will operate from a selfish place assuming that as long as YOU are happy then things should operate and function normally. There have been many days Livia has BEGGED to know my feelings or thoughts, and I fatuously shared them with her and it has altered her entire day for the rest of the day. I immediately learned Colossians 4:6, which states, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” This tells me that maturity in application and philosophy must be applied when speaking to emotional people like her and her children. Even her husband, supposed to be ex-husband, is an emotional wreck.

As I am fighting this computer, attempting to find some scientific, psychological statistics to bring weight or evidence to this entry after not writing for a few weeks, I decided to drive with the word of God with this entry. I do not need that other information currently, I will just ensure I balance my other entries with facts that not only prove the word of God accurate, but bring some additional push to the fact that these people need JESUS!

Livia, NOT ABOUT A MONTH AGO, aborted her 6th child. She lost the first one before Rainbow. She lost another one before Hurricane or whatever pseudo-name I am calling the child, and after having another child with some Ghanaian she met on Cupid DOT com, she decided to abort it due to HER feelings about him. The IGNORANT part about that transaction was WE just had a conversation about the difference between being a Republican and Democrat, and one of the distinctions was the grievance with aborting a child. Yes! Ironically, we were talking about this, and what I have learned about Livia is, when she is contemplating a vacuous decision, she will casually introduce the topic or person days before she has already made a decision that she is completely unsure of, so in order to seek approval like an immature little girl, she will bring the topic up nonchalant. Even though, I have seen this pattern before, I play it apathetically, and generate some vending machine advice, and inform her that it’s her decision.

I review all options neutrally and walk off or vehemently change the subject. As of May 2017, I refuse to expense advice to people who choose their own path. If you were open to wisdom, then many of the decisions currently made would not have been enacted, if you were not abundantly drowning in the desperation of needing a man. Since you aborted this child, due to the fact, that you were not getting the attention you craved from this immature third world citizen that was impotent, immature, and inconsistent. Due to the fact, that you will jump through any bounds to get a man or keep yourself occupied with vanity. You decided to abort this child without a cause after it being almost three months, now you are off to your next venture. Would you believe it? She is dating again! WOW! She has let her sorry, insecure, “husband” spend the night at the house, after being kicked out from his girlfriend’s trailer from cheating with another woman. LISTEN! I could not make this foolishness up, if I was Tyler Perry’s son. LOL!

You abort one child without informing your “husband”, then you contort your life to him without letting him know you was pregnant, then back on the seen looking for another black man with tattoos. Guess what? She found him. LOL! They went to Six Flags this past weekend, and he was actually cool. Even though they had…*clears throat*…In other news. Do you remember the two-faced, snake like friend who created drama with everyone without a reason? She’s back! Hooray!

After months of no talking, avoidance, and ignorance, Livia “rationally” as usual, believes in this 26-year-old, Mexican, spoiled brat, who is pregnant with her 3 year on and off again boyfriend. I am only saying Mexican, because that’s her nationality. Nothing against the race! ANYWHO, this young stupid lady…I forgot what I called her throughout this blog, but since I don’t care about her, I will give her another name close to her name. Amalice, will be her name. If you are looking at the name, then you should start chuckling…I have informed Livia and Amalice’s cousin, Rufus [fake name too] that I dislike her. She is MESSY! She is the one that got into Livia’s ear about my performance with her and the kids. Livia, foolishly, listen to this rat trap, and started adjusting her attitude based on a fair-weather clown. REALLY?! People these days!

Ajoke, excuse, Amalice, has entered back into her life on a “precautionary” green card. LOL! Livia is skeptical of this child’s entrance, because she pops up with her key to HER apartment after disappearing almost two months. HA! How does this lady still have a key to her apartment? Better yet, how does her husband have a key to her apartment? Her excuse is for safety reasons. HA! It’s funny to me the justifications people use for their behavior.

HOLD IT! Let me interject with something real quick, so the “chirren”, yes I said, “chirren” was sent to their father’s place for the weekend. We will address the father’s place later in another entry, and yes he was back with the “girlfriend” he cheated on with another whore, on top of the fact that the girlfriend he is with is the one he cheated on his wife with, and the girl use to be “friends or best friends” with Livia. HA! Chew on that! LOL.

Back to the kids, SO, they were with the father this past weekend, which gave Livia time to meet up with a NEW black tattooed young man without a car, apparently he had an accident, and she had to go and pick him up. [NO COMMENT!] She took us all to Six Flags, and SHE PAID FOR HIS MEAL. Don’t ask Why? I do not have an answer. Picture this…then she bought him and her “drinks” while they sat at the apartment and “watched” movies. Fast forward, when the kids were in the car, she asked about their weekend, Tornado said, He had fun. Rainbow, said annoyingly, she wanted to go, all she saw was horses. CATCH THIS…THEN THE MOMMA said, we had a good time, going to Six Flags [insert Rainbow’s disgusted face], and then SHE TOLD THEM ABOUT THE DUDE SHE TOOK…[I quickly looked at her like WHY?]; and I immediately told her, DO NOT TELL THEM HIS NAME! She looked at me ignorantly and said, I wasn’t…some things don’t need to be said, because it’s going to get back to Crazy, which is her HUSBAND LEGALLY!

I am done for now. I cannot type anymore words of this foolery. What’s the moral of the story? Here you go…

1.    Please read your bible. Read a book and sometimes check out on the foolishness around you.

2.    Take walks. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG walks! Listen to upbeat and inspiring music.

3.    Make sure you do everything to stay out of the way and learn to be QUIET. Let your words be few and seasoned with salt [MATURITY]

4.    You don’t have to tell everything you think on your mind. Some stuff needs to stay in your MIND!

5.    When you can get away from the CRAZY, DO IT!