#because i always think if it's really neccesary for me to do this

[gxtzeizm]

hello and good day to all my beloved mutuals in this site <333

tbh i truly hate to do this because i really feel ashamed to myself that i need to beg for some money since i've never do this before...but since the new semester starts in a few days for my uni and i truly i need for the money, so here's the thing.....

if some of you guys know that i had bought my first own laptop for my uni (yup considering that my prev laptop was my mum's old laptop and it literally not having a sufficient RAM enough for me as a computing student) which i was actually using all of my monthly allowance i saved since this july earlier (that was when my 2 months and half semester break started) until this october when i supposed to use for this month during the new semester.

and right now i really just have a little amount of money in my bank account which is barely enough for me to spend my whole month expensess (food, transport, course books etc etc)

so i truly appreciate all of you guys if you're willing to help me donate some money no matter how much amount either on my paypal or ko-fi account. i just only need at most $170 only to cover up monthly expensess for this month.

or maybe you can help me reblog this post if you not able to donate and it truly means everything to me 🙏🙏🙏

[sanjisluvbot]

YANDERE STRAWHATS X BLACK FEM READER CH 17

Masterlist

[ I’ll add ch 1-16 here tmr I’m just really tired <3 ]

The silences became unbearable so you decided it was best you spoke up. Your sentences collided, you both stumbling over what the other said. You shared a laugh and decided to let Law go first, anxiously waiting to hear about what was on his mind that made him go complete radio silent at the dinner table.

" Y/N-ya, This conversation is going to make you upset but it's a neccesary one." He started off.

you nodded and waiting for him to continue. He sighed and turned away for a second, anxiety dwelling in the pit of his stomach.

" Before we had really gotten close and I was traveling with you and the strawhats Robin invited me into her study because she had books that would be really interesting to me."

The shock was written all over your face, he was telling you about reading one piece. You gulped down the lump in your throat, Sanji was telling you the truth.

" I'm pretty sure you have an idea of what I am about to say but, I just want you to know I wasn't keeping this from you because I am trying to harm you, and I am not in kahoots with the strawhat crew. ”

You but your lip wondering if the anger was showing itself on your face. You wanted to tell, scream, or even jump him. That wasn’t the right answer though, you knew that, thinking back to all the times you’ve simply done something logical here you always ended up on the wrong side of the stick or sword.

You hummed and looked away from him, “ I choose not to be angry at you. I mean, speaking logically I had done the same thing. Reading the manga and then coming here. I’m just not as free to go back whenever I please as you are.”

Your heart swelled. You felt mature and dignified in this moment, the anger seemed into the back of your mind most likely going to rush forward when you’re alone again but that’s alright. As long as you don’t show them everything will be fine.

“ I mean still… Y/n-ya I betrayed your trust by not telling you this sooner. If I was in your shoes I would probably be screaming from the top of my lungs.”

You laughed. Of course you wanted to do that, to everyone that you’ve encountered in this mysterious world you wanted to scream from the top of your lungs hoping that maybe someone from your home can hear or that maybe god would rescue you.

Unfortunately that’s not reality.

Law spoke about how intrigued he was by your universe. The new technology, the advancements in medicine he’s never heard of. In such a short period of time he spent there he was able to see things people wouldn’t even dream of in this life time.

Bepo and the rest of the crew peeked out the doors and windows amazed to see their never catch him with his pants off captain be so lax. It was like an alien replaced him or he was possessed by a free spirit.

Although you haven’t spent much time with the heart pirates, they adored you. Like basically everyone else they were enamored with the girl from another world, you were this alien creature who spoke so differently, lived differently, just a ball out of left field.

They were more subtle but they watched you as much as anyone else did. They liked the way you did little things and they liked the way you made their captain easier to deal with.

As they watched you two go from awkwardness back to a regular conversation where Law’s smile was prominent and his posture slouched, they wondered what would happen when you went back home.

Of course the captain would miss you, he would probably be even more overbearing just because your presence is gone but they all knew too well what the right thing to do was.

After hearing your story and what you dealt with from the Strawhat pirates they couldn’t help themselves in wanting to protect you. You were too fragile for this world, even though you weren’t even a different species your world is so fragile and life goes so quickly for you. You deserved to enjoy it— even if it meant they would never see you again.

You would always be one of their favorite memories.

The weight on Law’s shoulders was removed. And your comfortable conversation about the stars and what not from your universe could lull him to sleep. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed around a person— even his own crew.

Your eyes shined under the light of the moon and the hue made a light shade of blue casting over your brown skin. He moved closer, wanting to get a slightly better look at you. After all you’d be leaving in the middle of Wano. That thought brought a sharp pain through Law’s chest and a vein popped out on his temple.

He didn’t want this to be one of the lady times he seen you. Law wouldn’t say it out loud— he couldn’t. Knowing you, you’d probably become spooked by his demeanor. But he was sure that he wanted you in his life for the long run, get to know you like the back of his hand and maybe… just maybe…

His teeth gritted- his own thought annoying him while he was trying to focus on you explaining different telescopes that would let you look at the surrounding planets.

He would have to work over time to at-least attempt in forgetting you. He chuckled out loud at that catching your attention.

“ What’s funny loser.”

Don’t

“ Nothing… I was just thinking of something— continue.”

You smiled and teased him once more making him shy away from showing you his reddening cheeks.

The night is still young and you had so much to talk about, he wanted to be all ears but you just made everything so difficult now.

Luffy was aggravated, you spend less and less time with him and everyone else now. He missed when you would spend all day playing games and just simply having your presence in his vicinity.

Robin told him what happened today and he wanted desperately to be happy but knowing that you and Law were ir already have talked it out made him want to destroy something in front of him.

Nami eyed him, her and Zoro were always first to read Luffy’s emotions and she was tad bit upset at how easily Robin opened her mouth. Telling him any of this isn’t in their best interest right now.

Nami wanted you to stay with them of course but she figured out a different way to ensure that. To ensure that both you and everyone else can finally be happy. But, with Robin or any other crew member coming to the captain every other day to report one thing after another it would be more difficult.

Usually Robin and Ussop would be in her corner but she’s all but alone as of now.

Her thoughts started giving her a head ache and Luffy’s anger was making her anxious. She was going to just put her thoughts to rest for the night. She’s have all the time in the world to figure this out in the morning.

Walking into the other room she bumped into Sanji, who had desserts in his hand and gave her his bright smile. When she declined Sanji’s facade dropped, concern ect he’d across his face.

“ Nami si everything alright?”

“ Yeah Luffy’s just agitated and Robin is adding fuel to his fire. I’m just gonna go to sleep we’ve got things to do tomorrow and I need to devise a plan.”

He told her to wait just a moment in the hall while he dropped off his treats, coming out in less than a minute he smiled at her and offered to make her melatonina tea. She obliged knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and he was obviously worried for her and not up to any of his theatrics.

In the kitchen she sat twirling a spoon in her cup letting every thought and worry fly out of her mouth and Sanji listened intently.

“ I just wish you guys would not tell Luffy things about Y/N and Law so often. We need this alliance— especially right now. In order to win and have Luffy become an emperor we need the heart pirates. I get that we all-”

“ Everything’s going to work itself out.”

She tilted her head and he chuckled at how cute she was mentally begging himself to not make a fool out of himself.

“ We’re all just stressed, too much going on, too much focus on Y/n, and too much pressure from other crews and the people of Wano. I get you’re frustrated— I think we all are even the moss ball.”

“ Well yeah but-”

“ Robin wants to get a reaction out of all of us. Luffy is just an easy target. Luffy would get agitated if Y/n were to even look in Trafalgar’s direction.”

“ I’m just trying to come to an understand of why she wants this reaction out of him right now if all times.”

“ Because just like you she’s devising plans and having a captain who will pop his fuse at just one little thing right now must be vital for it to work.”

“ I guess? ”

She drank the rest of her tea sb headed to her room praying nothing disastrous would come tomorrow.

🏷️ : @chaichaiiskai @mizzhellsingsstuff @herwritingartcowboy @axulaphie @toshirolovebot @futmblr @rhicambo @marim0cha @sasukeswife3 @mitskikinnie100 @alaurannara @angstylittleb1tch

A/N: short chapter Ik but de next Sunday! <3 love you lmk what you thought !!!

[mary-dreamy]

Momo joins the Bakusquad (just a drabble)

Admittedly, Kyouka had been a bit nervous about bringing Momo to one of the Bakusquad's hangouts once they finally started dating.

Momo liked all the Bakusquad well enough, she liked everyone in 1A like the goodie-two-shoes she was, and they liked her as well, but they really didn't hangout much outside of 1A movie nights.

To be fair, they were all very different and Kyouka was kinda worried that they wouldn't click at all when put all together in a room.

It wasn't the end of the world or anything, Kyouka would continue to hang out with all of them separately, like she had been doing until now.

Still, they were all the best people Kyouka had met in her entire life and she wanted for all her favourite people to get on with each other.

So, she brought Momo to a signature Bakusquad Game Tournament and hoped for the best.

'Have you ever played Street Fighter, Yaomomo?' Denki asked as he stuffed his face with chips.

Momo had sat primly on top of Sero's bed, Kyouka drapped over her carelessly. 'I haven't really played many video games.'

'It's fine, let me teach you all the combos.'

Denki jumped on the bed with them and started explaining to her all about the game while Sero and Kirishima set it up.

'Is it also neccesary to move with the control?' Momo asked, blessed her sheltered heart.

'It's the most important part!'

It was kinda fun seeing Denki being the one explaining something to Momo for once. It also served to sooth all of Kyouka's nerves about the hangout, it was all going to be okay.

In the end, it was more than okay.

Denki and Momo became friends since that day and it wasn't rare to find the two of them playing videogames together on the common room.

After Denki, came Sero.

Sero started joining them on their videogame sessions, sometimes playing and sometimes just being around while reading his mangas.

Said mangas started finding their way to Momo's room too and Wednesday evenings started finding both of them in Sero's hammock reading together, sometimes Sero's mangas and sometimes Momo's books.

'We could make a book club out of this.' Momo would mumbled on the rare ocassion Kyouka would join them, listening to her music calmly. 'Tenya would be very happy to see us spending our free time doing something so productive.'

'Guess so.' Sero kept his finger inbetween the pages he had been reading. 'But I dunno if the prez would let us keep reading Given on an official school club.'

Momo turned the next page of said manga. 'It isn't that explicit, Sero.'

'It's the prez we're talking about.'

'Tenya is much more liberal than you think.' Momo paused for a second, then resumed her reading. 'Although, let's wait until we finish it, just to be safe. I want to see how it ends.'

Kyouka had to turn up the volume of her music and breath in deeply, resisting the urge to laugh.

Then, it was Mina.

Mina found in Momo a more willing shopping companion than in Kyouka and she ran with it. Everytime she needed so much as a new pen, she would go to Momo and coax her to accompany her to the mall, which always, unsurprisingly, turned into a huge shopping haul of all kinds of trinkets.

'What do you think, babes?' Mina jumped out of the changing room, wearing an electric blue dress with lots of sparkles this time around.

'I think this is the seventh dress you've tried on.' Kyouka deadpanned.

Kyouka had let Mina tag along to their quick, it was supposed to be quick, trip to the mall because she needed some new headphones. She didn't know how the three of them had ended up at a clothing store instead, but that's what happened when one went shopping with Ashido Mina.

'Boo!' Mina stuck out her tongue at Kyouka. 'What do you think, Momo-baby?'

'You look so beautiful, Mina!' Momo clapped, motioning for her to twirl so they could see the dress in full. 'It suits you so much!'

Mina preened under the attention. 'See, Kyo? That's the attitude! That's why Momo's my favourite.'

Momo melted a little bit at that and Kyouka knew that they would be trapped in that store for two hours more, at least.

Kyouka didn't complain, much, about it. She knew Momo would treat her to something later, for derailing her shopping trip.

She always did that, after all her shopping sprees with Mina, she would buy something for everyone, because she was caring like that. And it didn't hurt that she had more money than she could spend in her whole life.

That's how she got Bakugou.

On one of the trips, she bought him an All Might keychain that he didn't have. Better yet, one that not even Midoriya had stashed in his shrine.

'Ponytail.' Bakugou was holding the ugly keaychain with much more cared than it deserved. 'What the fuck.'

'I'm glad you like it.' Momo had beamed at him, which made him squint harder for some reason, as if she was too bright for him. 'I saw it and thought of you.'

Bakugou nodded then, super serious, as if comming to terms with some realisation he had had in the last ten seconds. 'I would fucking kill for you.'

'There's no need for that.'

'But I would.'

'Well, thank you very much, Bakugou.'

After that, Momo gained food privileges from Bakugou, starting with a huge ass mountain of green tea cookies that seemed to be neverending, Bakugou always having one in hand to offer her after an especially tiring workout.

And that's how she had captured Kirishima too, in the end.

Kyouka grinned as she watched the both of them, twin sunshine smiles, chatting up after training together and beating the living shit out of each other like it was nothing.

At first sight, they might not share much, but both of their quirks needed similar maintenance and both of them were determined as hell to overcome their insecurities and become the best heroes they could be.

That made for some kick-ass sparing partners.

'Damn, Yaomomo, dude, that last move was killer.' Kirishima beamed up at her. 'I didn't even see it coming.'

'Thank you, Kirishima.' Momo accepted the compliment with bright red cheeks from exertion and embarrassement. 'Lately, I've been practising some martial arts with Uraraka.'

'I might need to join you guys sometimes because that was badass.' Kirishima raised his hand up, waiting for a high five with all his puppy enthusiasm.

Kyouka watched tenderly how Momo hesitated for a second before going for it and high fiving him. Both of them looked equally surprised and esctactic by it.

'You guys done?' Kyouka asked as she walked towards them.

'Just about.' Momo's eyes sparkled as she looked at her. 'Wasn't expecting you here so early.'

'Internship ended early for once.' Kyouka got on her tip toes so she could peck her lips, nevermind how sweaty and grimy she was. 'Thought I would see if you wanted to watch some movie, have a quiet night in.'

'That sounds like the perfect plan, love.' Momo kissed her cheek lightly, always mindful of her state. 'Let me take a shower and I'll meet you in your room.'

'Okay, I'll get all the good snacks.'

Momo kissed her cheek once more before dissapearing into the changing rooms.

'I take it that you're bailing from the squad hangout tonight, huh?' Kirishima asked, reminding her that he was still there too.

It was difficult to pay attention to anyone when Momo was in the room.

'Fuck yeah.' Kyouka punched Kirishima in the arm lightly. 'Haven't had a date night in forever.'

Kirishima laughed as he picked up his stuff, ready to go. 'Okay, Jack, I'll tell the squad. Have a good date.'

Kyouka smiled back at him.

She loved that Momo had become part of the Bakusquad so easily, worming her way into everyone's hearts like it was nothing, like she had done with her because she was that nice and lovely.

But Kyouka was inherently selfish when it came to Momo and, sometimes, she just wanted her all to herself.

A Lady in a squad of Tramps - marydreamy - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) [Archive of Our Own]

[burning-sol]

I AM SO THINKING ABT KIRA IN THE CANARY AU BY THE WAY.

I don't know why but I think after Jay died Kira just sort of... Shut down. Kira used to be peppy and talk and had so much hope to change the navy for the better, but then Jay died, and she just stopped talking. And she stopped thinking about much beyond just doing her job, though it wasn't like she committed very much to it. Ayva was spurred on by Jay's death, becoming ruthlessly efficient, always looking for ways to optimally run the navy. Kira just sort of half heartedly commited, only catching pirates when it was neccesary, usually taking any opportunity to let them go and not bother in favour of taking a back seat. It made Ayva very upset, and she got into conflict with Kira a lot, but for as much as Ayva told Kira to leave if she wasn't going to pull her weight, Ayva always put in a good word and kept Kira out of trouble. Kira almost wanted to get kicked out, but she didn't have it in her heart to leave, it would feel like going back on her plan with Jay, even if she had stopped doing much to actually pursue that goal...

But it was such a betrayal when Ayva left. For all the disagreements they had, for as much as Kira rolled her eyes at Ayva's strictness, Kira HATED Ayva leaving. After all that big talk, after everything Ayva had done, suddenly the navy was too good for them?? Kira's quietness went from sorrowful to bitter, and she suddenly started getting a lot more productive. No, she still didn't really believe whatever the hell the navy was advocating for, but she would pretend to if it meant hunting down Ayva. And she did.

Kira demanded to know why Ayva left the navy, why she became a pirate, why they were going against so much of what they'd preached back in the navy. But the real question she asked, trying not to break into tears, speaking the most loud and clear she ever had since Jay's passing, "Why did you leave me alone?" Because she'd been so lonely with Jay gone, so why did you leave her too? You were her older sibling too. She was counting on you. So why did you leave her alone?

[wafflesfromtheuniverse]

I'm hearing my mom argue w my dad

I feel too old to be hurt about this but i can't help myself

I'm 21 attending uni from home

It wouldn't really make sense to rent an apartment: it's expensive so i would have to work and study at the same time, and I'm not sure i could manage all that rn, and we don't live so far from the place anyways

Anyways I heard her voice going kinda wobbly

She sounded like she was on the verge of crying

It's bc my dad has a lover, and she dropped him off infront of our house

Mom was upset bc they spoke about her a lot

About the other women

I hated my dad for it, but my mom told me a few things that made me just sour about the whole thing

I won't make excuses for cheating, like ever, but i know my mom isn't really well either and it took a toll on my dad

I'm only writing this because i feel like i believe in love less and less

The more i know about my parents, the less i believe in true love

I guess I'm the romantic type, i just like to deny it

You will never catch me admitting it, unless i really feel like i want the other person to know

I kinda believe in acts of affection (or idk how u write it xd) rather than words

Words still mean a lot to me tho, it's just not the usual stuff I guess

Random things hit me harder or make feel warmer

I'm trying to be hopeful

But I'm avoiding people

I fear rejection

I fear hatred

I fear that I am unloveable

I am afraid of being insufferable

I am afraid that people see a lot of wrong in me and they just don't tell me so I am going around clueless

I don't expect everyone to love me

I don't like every person I meet either

I don't like to be the enemy tho

My head makes be believe sm bullshit

I'm fighting myself everyday

I am actually better at it

I started to like my face better

Like my body too

I still want to exercise

Not for a summer body

But for the childish dream i still have: being cool girl

Cool in the means of looking cool

Idc what counts as cool in the matter of personality

My personality is annoying to me but i still love myself a little bit or like moderately

I'm trying

I have the headphones i got for christmas from them on

It's kina funny

They are noise cancelling so i can't hear them

I liked to listen to them when is was little

Like is not a good word, more like i felt it was neccesary

I wanted to know what was happening around me

I don't know if other familes are like this

In highschool I liked to joke around in my head, calling them rommates (not room but living mates or how do i say it...ppl u rent an aparent together with)

I saw my dad at night coming home from work (or as i got know later, maybe from the woman) and my mom was home working always

I didn't think of my parents badly

But my mom once said that "i probably don't want to end up like them"

I don't remember when was the last time i really thought about what i want to end up as

Like seriously

I somehow felt i don't have a future

I had this belief that I will die in some accident like in a tiny one

Just whoosh erased from earth

I don't know why i felt that way but i believed it kinda and i wasn't uncomfortable with it

I thought about it matter of factly, calm, neutral

I will not get old

I will die before 30 for sure

Like that

It wasn't a decision or anything, just felt like that was my fate

I hope I will see more clearly in the future

I hope I am able to love

To give love and to recieve it

To have a healthy relationship

I really really hope i can manage to be in one once

I fear love because of (1 rejection and hate like I said before)

2 because when i lose a friend my heart breaks really hard

I can't get my head away, and I'm anxious without a stop

I have the blackhole in me

If love breaks my hearth more than that

Idk if it's safe for me

Yet atleast

I'm trying to strenghten myslef

I have too much fear in my

I hate fear

But i also hate the absence of fear

When i give up and there is nothing

At times like that fear atleast motivates me, moves me

But when emptiness fills me

I have a hard time afterwards

I probably misspelled a bunch of shit but

It's not cryptic so it counts

I am working on myself

Even when it feels like I'm stagnating

Atleast I can mever be clueless about the things i learned so far

So I'm trying:)

I actually like this one better nowadays:]

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Sea I never really payed attention to DLIBYH lyrics altough it’s a beautiful song. I always thought it was just a song about overcoming different obstacles in your life and that didn’t have anything personal that Louis could relate to. (Punsh me I want to). But after the two New York shows I have found a new meaning to DLIBYH and that also relates to Walls and Habit somehow. I think he said Walls and DLIBYH were written at the same time. Correct me if i am wrong. You can actually tell that both songs talk about going through something hard but not giving up in the process because at the end everything will get better. It also talks about being left by someone you loved. (When you loved someone and they let you go) (the day you walked away and took the higher ground) So the lines “I know you left a part of you in New York under your bed in a box, but you’re doing better”. They encapsule so so so much. The contrast conector implies that he didn’t want to do that, but that it was neccesary for him. Like he did not want to do what he did (give up on the relationship mayhaps)(“Never thought that giving up would be so hard”) because he knew that it was gonna hurt like hell at first. But he sees now all the process and he is gratefull for that because he is now a better version of himself. He is now doing better. Besides I do think New York is an important city for him in his process of healing. Him saying that he left a part of him in New York in a box under his bed can mean that he left all the memories he lived once with the other person. I think in that city he took the decision of giving up on the relationship once he was left by the other person he loved. He realized that it was worthless to keep trying and trying when the other part was already out the door. But the silver lining is that he is now a better man. He even said thank you to the person in walls (this one is a thank you for what you did TO me). It shows how mature he is and how he is over the relationship. This is what I believe. I can be completely wrong about it. Because at the end Louis is the only one who knows the truth.

Because Louis said that the album was honest, autobiographical, and in a loose, chronological order, the songs ARE related even if every line wasn’t written by him. I believe Cole Citrenbaum, the co-writer on DLIBYH, said that the “in a box under the bed in New York” line was already there when Louis got the song and it meant that there are things one leaves behind in a break up.

“Never thought that you could hate me.” “You were already out the door.”

Devastating lines. But also healing when performed in front of an audience.

[melody-of-lost-souls]

Hi!

So in one of your posts when you were talking about it not being psychologically possible to suddenly realize your love for someone, (especially when you never really loved that person.. Anyway..). I just think it's common sense to know that you can't just realize you love someone. How would Sasuke just realize his "love" for Sakura when the conversation with Naruto was only about him and N? Nothing else mattered. And how can that person exactly justify that Sasuke just went, "Oh darn,.. You ain't gonna believe this Naruto.. Even tho this is our gay intimate talk, I think I like Sakura.." Like huh?? It's like me saying "I'll wake up early and do it in the morning!" It be lies!!!!!! What kind of actions did he take to justify his "love" anyway? Cuz last time I checked he was only concentrated on Naruto ONLY. Pink mega mind was not included. LOL and check this out... If Naruto was replaced by Sakura for sns moments, you'd see people saying "OMG SO CUTE!! WOW THEY SO INLOVE." Cuz you know, it's a boy and a girl.

OH! and let's not forget that many times that they thought about each other. And that one time N looked at the sky and saw a shooting star, then whispered Sasuke's name? WAIT, but it's normal to do that to your friend😳. Or that one time N was ULTRA desperate to chase after S but was stopped by Gaara? OOOOOHHH! And when S moved his body for N before he hit a tree trunk, especially in the condition he was in? BUT WAIT! It's normal to go so far for your friend but not the person you love right? AND the continuous numbers of times N would NOT stop thinking about S??? BUT WAIT IT'S NORMAL! OR OR! THAT TIME N HYPERVENTILATED AT THE THOUGHT OF S BEING KILLED? IT'S NORMAL TO DO THAT FOR YOUR FRIEND RIGHT? OR WHEN S COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT SAKURA & KAKASHI FALLING INTO THE LAVA PIT AS LONG AS NARUTO WAS SAFE? OR WHEN N DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BUT S WHENEVER HE WAS IN DANGER??

But their friends, ne? Sasu lOvEs SaKura since day 1, correct? It's not like he pays more attention to N, or that he would go on a complete rampage because something happened to N or anything.

Hello Anon well you said it all jaja The only reason Sasuke ws brainwashed and MARRIED (not fell in love bc not even SP or Ikemoto believe that, in other case they would have make SS all dovey lovey in boruto) Sakura was to

1) Make a teammate and love interest to Boruto

2)Play with the uchiha genes and sharingan a little bit.

3) Bring nostalgy to old Naruto fans so they can stay and wtch this new abomination.

SS always try to justify and they do ental gymnastics in order to justify their Ship how they were endgame and how all was perfectly matched. They try to look for a deeper meaning to the -non existent- bond of them. Meanwhile the reason while SS fucked...or at least decided to have a child together, is because of money and for the sake of Boruto the series.

And speaking about suddenly realizing his deep love for sakura-lol- In any case it was drive by Guilt tripping same as Naruto with hinata. But what i saw is that this trope IS VERY popular in straight ships, which is a very red flag for me. A person can do everything for the one they love, but the other part IS NOT OBLIGATED IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM to love them back. Sometimes is neccesary to just shows how much important you are to that person, but from there guil trip them without any other feeling behind or thought across all the time you shared...Its very red flag. In Naruto case with hinata he never had a thought about her or smt. He needed a deus ex machina recourse genjutsu to make him see how "much she loved him" but there were none chemistry or interaction behind that realization. In SNS case, there wre always repressed feelings and thoughts about them thinking about each other and it developed so naturally that they didnt need guilt tripping to make the bond flow.

I saw this same thing happened on a tv animated series i love, Hey arnold. In the final movie, they make Arnold realizes he loves Helga¿¿¿¿¿ because he kinda saw all the things she did for him. But its weird cause he never ever showed a single glimpse of romantic feelings or at least that he liked her.

Its basically "Oh fuck look all the things she did for me, i guess i have to love her :/" So i think this trope is famous in some ships so...look how some things are fine with straight ships.

And finally. YES. I have seen A LOOOOOOOOOOT of fans and dudebros in ,at least mine, latin american fandom and its absolutely funny because they say "Naruto obsession with Sasuke would have made sense if he was a girl" LOL

And of course they TOTALLY HATE the moment where naruto begged for Sasuke. They say this is one of the lowest moments of naruto as a character, and that he sucked. They felt second hand embarrasament.

And i could do nothing but laugh. Like...People are gay steven. Nonetheless they can actually see, despite they just joke about it, how "close" sns are.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Many Divaz/Z3st confos

Mod: Not all the ones in the inbox, but a batch of them to peruse at your leisure.

1. Z3st got told by a mod on the BJD Discord to stop with his drama-mongering. He argued with the mod. In b4 he whines here about the BJD Discord.

~Anonymous

2. @A certain someone: DOA mods warning you to stop making drama or else ban is not an attack on you. BJD Discord mod warning you to stop making drama or ban is not an attack on you. They're just doing their jobs. To stop finding yourself in situations where you feel attacked, don't make drama. Seriously it's getting super tiresome seeing your crap all over the place esp since you're acting like someone shot your dog or smth. You're doing this to yourself and blaming others for your own actions.

~Anonymous

3. My friend got messaged on FB by Z3st because they posted in support of Divaz. Z3st called them names and tried to prove his "innocence". Apparently my friend wasn't the only person Z3st did this to, I wouldn't be surprised if he did it to everyone who commented in support of Divaz. Z3st is crying about being the victim but all I see is him being the aggressor. Who the fuck messages people they don't know to harass them like that?

~Anonymous 

4.@al3xcessive... you can't blame someone for "doxxing" you when you put your information out there first. Also, that's not what "doxxing" is, they've literally only showed your name AFTER YOU SHOWED IT YOURSELF PUBLICLY. All of your other information was hidden. I searched for your name on FB and wouldn't have ever found you if you hadn't gone and shown yourself by spamming comments on the post.

~Anonymous

5.lol al3xcess claiming he'd been "harassed" when he DMs random people to call them bootlickers and they tell him to fuck off xD

~Anonymous

6.If the customer is batshit terrible to work with, you refund them and ban them. Don’t feed trolls and all. Seems simple? But Div4s just gonna dox somebody like that?  Even their most hardcore fans ought to be sayin “hol up” instead of cheering.

~Anonymous

7.Lol @ Z3st calling Divaz "insidiously hostile" when he himself is this way and he even admitted it: "i had been nothing but nice, and ABSURDLY patient, and understanding and looking back now the gushing tone in which i took makes me sick" - Looking at HIS OWN receipts, his "absurdly nice" is just normal decency. It really says a lot about him that he considers it absurd and that it makes him sick. Divas aren't the ones being insidious, Z3st, you admitted you were deceptive from the getgo.

~Anonymous

8.I'm done with r_s who defend BJDivaz on DoA. I had to wait MONTHS for any sign of life from them, they NEVER answer their emails, and they've mishandled ALL of my orders. They won't be an adult about this! If you're ordering from them, you're pretty much supporting them. Stop.

~Anonymous

9.Neutral to Divaz but seeing them did a call out to a troublesome customer is a bit uncomfortable. I believe they should have kept the person's name as anon, never mention their irl or username. I understand that they are upset that their business reputation is damaged by the customer's words but still a business shouldn't blast their customer's personal info on public platform. A business should be a business. Personal feelings should be handled off the business page.

Again I fully understand Divaz is human too and they can feel upset by exaggerated rumours but a business shouldn't be so sensitive to any provocation. I'm sure other dealers also get a lot of negative comments but we seldom hear them talk about it publicly. Really not my place to say, I think Divaz should try to keep personal emotions off their business page. Occasional bad press will naturally go away on its own if they can maintain good and satisfied customers on a long run. I feel like them fighting back against angry (ex) customers and seeking comfort from others is not the best move as a business. It is fine that they express their frustration to their family and friends but definitely not on a public business page. It just feels unprofessional. It's my 2 cents.

Sorry Divaz, I know you don't want to hear this but please do try to keep personal feelings aside when running a business. It will really help you on a long run. Haters will only use this against you because they know you will react to their provocation. This will never end and only damge your reputation further. Hope for the best.

~Anonymous

10. Cheeesus, that long Divaz post on that DoA user is too much. With all the precise time-stamps details and quotations, it's like a lawyer presenting a courtcase like "the evidence here shows that at 'hour;minute' you said this XXX. Is it true?" And we, the witnesses/audience, are all called to participate in the judgment. lol

~Anonymous 

11. ne1 else get msged by Z3st on fb cuz he wants to bitch u out for posting on divaz? 

~Anonymous

12. Divaz doxxes and stalks people, talks shit about customers on their FB, forgets to place orders, hands out tons of excuses for why they can't reply... among other things. Why the fuck are you all still dealing with them? Cl0ver singing, Alice's and a bunch of other companies are ten times better. Stop👏 validating👏 shitty 👏companies 👏

~Anonymous

13.There are certain people who always jump to the defense of BjDivaz and get mad when other people have legitimate issues with them. Get a life. Some of us have real problems and bad experiences ordering from them.

~Anonymous

14. I know everyone has a different situation and state their opinion with what they have already experienced, but I'm not gonna lie that I felt bad when I read someone saying that bjdivaz long layaways aren't even neccesary and they should just remove it. While I do agree bjdivaz could improve in how they manage some stuff, at the same time they are the only ones that let me "join" the hobby and don't feel bad because I can't pay in full or put down big payments as other hobbyists. I know it's not neccesary and I can save, but from someone who comes from a place of poverty I already feel guilty enough spending in a hobby and having big amounts of money always end up in paying emergencies and starting from 0 again. So these "really long and unnecessary layaways" give me the opportunity to not feel as guilty and enjoy something like the rest without spending too much every month to the point that it could affect my daily life.

~Anonymous

15. Z3st/Alex is legitimately evil for what he's doing, trying to put a company out of business that, per the emails that he himself posted, has never been anything but helpful to him (and many others). I'd bet he's the main source of all the BJDivaz hate going on here, and the miserable people around here were more than happy to grab their pitchforks and join his mob. Stop it.

~Anonymous

[cluescorner]

have any opinions on part 4 of JoJo?

It's the best one in terms of writing, plot consistency, and actually being coherent. The relatively lower stakes (trying to find 1 serial killer instead of trying to save the world) lends itself very well to a story set in a small town and also allowed for more character moments. One of my favorite parts about Part 4 is that we get to see the characters just...being kids together. Like, one of my favorite episodes is the Harvest one where Josuke and Okuyasu are just being dumbasses together constantly.

Josuke is probably my favorite JoJo so far, but I haven't gotten past Part 5 yet so that might change. He really feels like just some guy who happened to be born into the Joestar family and now has to deal with this crazy new world. He makes a lot of mistakes because he's inexperienced and also a LITERAL TEENAGER, but he also is his father's son. He is extremely clever and can quickly manipulate the situation to his advantage. He's like a Joseph who's also a decent person and not friends with a LITERAL N*ZI so that's nice. He also wears his heart on his sleeve and he see him get visibly upset and happy and angry and just overwhelmed throughout the Part. He feels like a real person that I can relate to, not just a badass punch man with 3 personality traits. So he's the best JoJo so far imo.

I also think the general main cast is also all solid. There really aren't any that ruin the show for me, even of the ones I like least. Okuyasu is such a good character and I honestly feel like he was underutilized both as a fighter and as a character. The Hand is so overpowered and literally could neutralize Kira in the span of like 5 minutes, so I feel like giving that overpowered Stand to Okuyasu, a character who isn't exactly bright enough to understand the full capabilites of his Stand and how to utilize them, was a good decision. Even if it was ultimately underutilized a LOT.

And the potential behind his character, a kid who has been only with his brother and his father (who are both kinda monsters in their own right) for as long as he can remember who then LOSES his brother after trying to fight Josuke, who then becomes friends with Josuke DESPITE all of this and quickly works his way into his friends' lives, who has a power related to taking EVERYTHING AWAY IN ONE TOUCH (Stands are a reflection of their user's soul so...), AND who is shown to be extremely kind-hearted despite his trauma but is also likely suffering in silence?? I think Okuyasu had the set up to be the best character of the part but Araki just didn't follow through. This kind of stuff is why I enjoy fanworks so much, I have already read so many that explore Okuyasu and they're all fantastic. I absolutely adore Okuyasu and his 'death' was the first moment in JoJo that I almost cried real tears.

Koichi is...fine. I like him and I get why everyone else likes him. In any other season I'd likely have way more to say about him, but every single character is pretty good in this season so I don't really have that strong of feelings about him.

Rohan is so funny to me. Like, this man only cares about his manga and does NOT care about being a good person and he doesn't try to hide it. One of the first things he does is try to fight our heroes because...he wants Koichi for his manga. He was about to force Okuyasu to kill himself and Heaven's Door is such an OP ability that I feel like I don't have to say anything. And the only reason he loses is because Josuke doesn't like manga and he insulted Josuke's hair. This is the kind of stuff that I love about this part, the ways our heroes win are so weird and clever that it makes the battles feel more real. Rohan is also a pretty well-written character and he contrasts very well with the other characters to create some very fun dynamics.

Part 4 Jotaro is better than Part 3 Jotaro. A major reason why I didn't really love Part 3 is because I didn't like Jotaro as a protagonist. He's too disinterested and stoic for me to enjoy as the LEAD OF AN ENTIRE PART but I always thought that he would work better as something else. And apparently, that something else was a genuinely amazing mentor character. He has seen the worst that Stands have to offer and he's very familiar in dealing with them, so he makes for a great contrast to our extremely inexperienced team. And he's also given less screen time, which means I don't get tired of his stoicism and OP-ness as often. I actually enjoyed that he only uses Time Stop when it's absolutely neccesary, since that's the ability that killed SO MANY OF THE PEOPLE HE KNEW. But Part 4 Jotaro also isn't infallible. He almost dies to a FUCKING RAT and that was honestly one of the most human moments Jotaro has ever been given. He's just waiting for Josuke to figure out what to do while he keeps getting turned slowly yet slower into a pile of fleshy goop. And he also cannot handle Kira on his own like he could handle DIO because Kira is a far more subtle opponent. You can't just beat Kira by punching it until it dies, you have to actually think about what you are and aren't doing. It makes Jotaro feel more like an actual character and less of 'Protagonist Syndrome'.

On the subject of Kira, HOLY SHIT KIRA IS SUCH A GOOD VILLAIN. I still think that DIO is the best villain so far, but I flip flop on him and Kira more often than I'd like to admit. Kira is the perfect 'low stakes' villain. He's a serial killer with a fetish for hands and a desire to live a 'normal' life, which prompts him to stay hidden as long as possible. I tend to dislike whodunnits where the audience knows who the killer is, but Kira's inability to actually stay hidden for long makes sure it never feels like it goes on for too long. I also adored his ability, it's a far more 'planning' based one than any ability we've seen up until this point. You need to know what you're doing with your ability and Kira, though he's also a dumbass at times, knows Killer Queen inside and out. Bites The Dust is also a great ability for him to have and his weird sort of relationship with Shinobu also made him very fun.

The Bites the Dust arc is the best JoJo has to offer. In the same vein that many told me that the DIO's world arc +the final battle was worth every minute of the rest of Part 3, I am telling anyone who is still unsure of whether they want to watch Part 4 that the Bites the Dust arc is worth every minute you spend on Part 4. Though, if you really aren't feeling it, you can start when Kira first shows up and just watch from there. The other episodes are great, but if you don't like low-stakes slice of life stuff then just start when Kira shows up. Because the Bites the Dust arc is so good. It's just so good. It feels like a culmination of everything we've built towards throughout the season with crescendoing character moments and an impossible situation that only desperation and preparation (funnily enough the two traits Kira is most defined by) can solve. Really, the Bites the Dust arc is so good that I'm not even gonna talk about what happens during it explicitly. I refuse to spoil this arc, watch it yourself please. But try to find a Trigger list for it, because it gets DARK. Be safer than I was while watching it, lol.

So yeah, I love Part 4. It's probably the best part so far. Is it my favorite part? IDK, gay italians and women are real in Part 5 so I think I'm still more about that part so far. Part 5 is my favorite, but Part 4 is the best and it's honestly not even close. Even if you don't want to watch JJBA (entirely valid, I hate this show sometimes and if you aren't a fan of sausage fests...this show isn't for you probably) I still recommend Part 4 or at least the Bites the Dust arc. It's the best JoJo part, hands down.

[dutchdread]

I just finished watching your plot vs narrative and it helped me put what I already knew into words. Since I did only watch it for the first time today, I had to smile at your theory that they were probably going to double down on the love triangle since it actually seems they're going the opposite way, at least for part 1. Thoughts on that now that Remake is available? Cutting or changing a lot of CA moments with a renewed focus on Tifa in the early stages can't be anything but deliberate.

I don't think I said they were gonna double down, I think I said that there wasn't a love triangle in the plot of the original, but that there might be one in the remake. Me saying something "might" happen isn't a prediction that it will, it's just me not ruling it out. And I hold to that, you see, you can't really debunk a position without addressing it. In the past, SE refrained from even going into the possibility of there being a love story between Aerith and Cloud. On the one hand that's exactly the reason why the Clerith position was so weak, it literally doesn't exist in the source material, meaning the source material had very little to say about it. But on the other hand, that's what made it so difficult to debunk, because you're trying to debunk something that exists only in the head of the person you're talking to. But now, they do seem to acknowledge it to some degree, if only to actively debunk it by hammering in the idea that "it's not real". But it doesn't have to be real for it to count as a love triangle, it just needs to be a part of the plot. If SE is going to make hypothetical feelings between Aerith and Cloud an actual plotpoint, with the conclusion being "it's not real, real Cloud loves Tifa", then I'd still say that that would be making the "love triangle (square, actually)" a bigger part of the plot than it was in the original game, where it only existed in peoples interpretations of the scenes, but was never shown to have an actual impact on Clouds character and actions. I do think they're being more clear about where Cloud affections lie though, so hopefully they'll continue that, but who knows.

Cutting or changing a lot of CA moments with a renewed focus on Tifa in the early stages can't be anything but deliberate.

It definitely isn't, but what the intentions behind it are, isn't so easy to determine. You see, with remake we're in a peculiar position. What we expected, if this were a 1-on-1 remake, is that scenes like Aerith telling Cloud "it's not real" have a two-fold meaning. For first time players it would be telling a narrative, but for those of us who know what happens, this would be hinting at the plot, namely Clouds fake persona and how it is tied to Zack. But SE took a different approach by adding in the element of changing fate. Right now what we're seeing isn't Narrative vs Plot, it's Narrative vs Narrative. The designers want first time players to think one thing, and they want players of the original to think one thing, but they want both sides to be unsure of what the actual plot turns out to be. That doesn't mean everything is up for grabs, the knowledge we have concerning the plot of the original still gives us more insight to work with, we know the past hasn't changed, we are still able to recognize certain Chekovs guns being set-up, but while we can use that insight to speculate about what is likely and unlikely to happen next, we can't be 100% sure that we're seeing the full puzzle. Concerning the focus on Tifa, while I think they went above and beyond what they needed to do, a certain increase in focus was always neccesary. This is because the original is a single game where only a few hours is spent in Midgar, and where there wasn't even much time to get to know Aerith before the story takes her away. Designers know that, they know that they have limited time and resources, and they know that Aeriths death must hurt, therefore they have to frontload the game with Aerith material in order to make the player love her. There isn't that much need to develop Tifa early on because the player will get to know her soon enough. The same thing isn't true for remake, with how important Tifa is you can't have an entire game and not show that importance. Especially if that game then has a several year wait behind it. In the OG, when Tifa is unveiled as the love interrest, it's a cool "wow, I didn't see that coming" moment. If the remake did that after not showing anything between Tifa and Cloud for years, it would feel manipulative and dissapointing. In the original you could replay the game and see that the connection was always there, you just didn't see it because you made the wrong choices, or because you didn't imagine the scenes a certain way. Can't do that with voice acting and facial animation. I think the intent was to make new players definitely see that there is a bond between them, so that when the reveal comes, it feels fulfilling, to make the player root for them. So that when you play it again, even if you did prefer Aerith, that you understand it was always there. And yes, hopefully it's so that at the end of all of this, we can finally bury this absurd debate, let's hope.

Thanks for the question.

[eldragon-x]

dusknoir and raine for the character meme?

@smilepebble

Raine

Fav thing about them

They're such a character of duality and I love it. I've said it before but the way they're shown to have stagefright and be easily embarrased or blushy, especially around their love interest, right from their debut episode makes it easy to underestimate them, this goes both for other characters and the audience. The same episode also shows they're very much capable, but still. I admit I have underestimated them as well, but fans characterizing them as just awkward always felt off to me. They ARE awkward, but you need to remember that they're a poweful witch who spent years of their life carefully working towards overthrowing an Emperor after realizing how corrupt the system is by becoming one of his closest allies. Heck, from the first episode they show up in, it's shown that they're ready to give up their life for their cause if neccesary. Again, I've said it before, but you need to understand that Raine is both incredibly awkward but also incredibly smart and skilled to get them.

Least fav thing about them

/

Fav line

/

brotp

I headcanon that they and Darius used to be friends in school which is a little funny considering Darius was first portrayed as an antagonist but now works with Raine to take down Belos and probably had his own rebellion going on all along, Raine just wasn't aware of it. Like imagine you're besties with someone at your school and when you grow up they become a government figure and so do you but you do it because the ruler of your country invented a system that restricts people and they have some secret fucked up plan they're working towards to and you wanna stop that so one day you and your old bestie almost kill each other because your old bestie was sent to arrest you for treason and you try to kill them and sacrifice yourself for it because loosing people in your position will ruin the rulers plans but turns out your old bestie was just staging a fight and not actually trying to kill you and you're both on the same side. This is the Raine experience.

On the other hand it's rather tragic because that means the first time Raine and Darius actually have a mutual understanding again in forever is when the whole situation is getting really bad and they can't focus on personal stuff.

otp

Raeda. Again, I wouldn't call myself a shipper, but they're exes who still have a thing for each other and it seems like the show's aiming towards getting them back together. Tho I still think it'd be interesting if they just end up as friends after having such a long ongoing fall-out.

notp

/

random hc

They're like a mentor to the other BATTs. Talking about, I hope they return soon because they've just been in prison since Raine's debut. Which, okay, Raine had to be less suspicious since then, but someone get them out of there so they can beat Belos' ass together.

unpopular opinion

Idk lol

song I associate with them

"Never Love an Anchor" by The Crane Wives because of this animatic

fav picture

I'm already limiting myself with three pictures, I just really love them also that last one is pretty

Dusknoir

Fav thing about them

I'm just a sucker for very sympathetic villains who you'd want to see redeem themselves plus he's one of the best developed characters in the whole pmd series.

Least fav thing about them

/

Fav line

His whole dialouge during That Scene.

brotp

He and Munna are besties. Chunsoft Spike told me so.

otp

FutureTrioShipping

notp

/

random hc

World's most repressed nonbinary Pokemon.

unpopular opinion

/

song I associate with them

There's a handful but like. "Passing Through (Can't the Future Just Wait)" by Kaden MacKay....

fav picture

my default choice when changing my icon to him

[bookjonsa]

Hi! :) In ASoS, Jon asks Ygritte about her lost of virginity. He thinks that she losted it with Longspear, and she responds something like "that's vile. Would you bed your sister?". Jon just avoids the question. I don't know, but I feel like this entire dialogue wasn't neccesary at all. Based in the Jon's reaction, could be this a hint about his true parentage? Could Jon, because of that, actually bed a "sister"? Maybe I´m just delusional haha but I would like to know another opinion about it.

Hi! :)

This is the passage you mention:

"There's been no one," he confessed. "Only you."

"A maid," she teased. "You were a maid."

He gave her closest nipple a playful pinch. "I was a man of the Night's Watch." Was, he heard himself say. What was he now? He did not want to look at that. "Were you a maid?"

Ygritte pushed herself onto an elbow. "I am nineteen, and a spearwife, and kissed by fire. How could I be maiden?"

"Who was he?"

"A boy at a feast, five years past. He'd come trading with his brothers, and he had hair like mine, kissed by fire, so I thought he would be lucky. But he was weak. When he came back t' try and steal me, Longspear broke his arm and ran him off, and he never tried again, not once."

"It wasn't Longspear, then?" Jon was relieved. He liked Longspear, with his homely face and friendly ways.

She punched him. "That's vile. Would you bed your sister?"

"Longspear's not your brother."

"He's of my village. You know nothing, Jon Snow. A true man steals a woman from afar, t' strengthen the clan. Women who bed brothers or fathers or clan kin offend the gods, and are cursed with weak and sickly children. Even monsters."

"Craster weds his daughters," Jon pointed out.

She punched him again. "Craster's more your kind than ours. His father was a crow who stole a woman out of Whitetree village, but after he had her he flew back t' his Wall. She went t' Castle Black once t' show the crow his son, but the brothers blew their horns and run her off. Craster's blood is black, and he bears a heavy curse." She ran her fingers lightly across his stomach. "I feared you'd do the same once. Fly back to the Wall. You never knew what t' do after you stole me."

Jon sat up. "Ygritte, I never stole you."

"Aye, you did. You jumped down the mountain and killed Orell, and afore I could get my axe you had a knife at my throat. I thought you'd have me then, or kill me, or maybe both, but you never did. And when I told you the tale o' Bael the Bard and how he plucked the rose o' Winterfell, I thought you'd know to pluck me then for certain, but you didn't. You know nothing, Jon Snow." She gave him a shy smile. "You might be learning some, though."

—A Storm of Swords - Jon III

There is a lot to say about this passage.  I think this conversation illustrates how different Jon and Ygritte were, how different their cultures and values were.  And yes, I think here we can find hints about Jon’s true parentage.     

Yes, Jon avoids the question, but Ygritte avoids the question first.  And that was because Ygritte and Jon managed two different concepts of kin, in this case, brothers and sisters.  That’s why Ygritte is constantly saying: “You know nothing, Jon Snow."  But the line works both ways really. 

Jon asked Ygritte who was her first sexual partner, and he was glad it wasn’t Longspear, that’s why Jon asked again: "It wasn't Longspear, then?"  And Ygritte instead of saying “no”, said; "That's vile. Would you bed your sister?"  And that’s why Jon said: "Longspear's not your brother.", avoiding to answer Ygritte’s question about bedding his sister. 

For Ygritte, a boy from her village was her brother, her clan kin.  That concept doesn’t work for Jon, who could have married (and bedded) a girl like Jeyne Poole for example, a girl that grew up in Winterfell with him, but she is not a Stark, so she is not his sister, despite being a girl from Winterfell.  For Ygritte that would have been vile.  And I bet that Ygritte would have even said that a marriage between two Stark cousins, like Rickard and Lyarra, would be vile.  

The same thing happened when Ygritte started to talk about wildlings marriage rituals and consent.  For Ygritte, Jon stole her the day they met, while Jon insisted that he never stole her.

Jon sat up. "Ygritte, I never stole you."

"Aye, you did.  “You jumped down the mountain and killed Orell, and afore I could get my axe you had a knife at my throat. I thought you'd have me then, or kill me, or maybe both, but you never did.”

Something similar happened to Sansa the day of the Battle of the Blackwater.  Cersei told Sansa about the blood lust that war provokes in men, and later that night she found a man that left the battle, went to her room, pushed her on bed put a dagger at her throat and demanded a song (a sexual innuendo used by the author) under threat of death.  This was basically the same situation Ygritte described as Jon stealing her.  But Jon would have seen that as a rape attempt, never as a marriage ritual.  And Jon definitely didn’t steal Ygritte the day they met, he thought she was a man and he was about to kill her as he would have killed any man of the enemy lines during a fight or battle.           

I don’t think this dialogue was unnecessary, the author has used it to tell us about the evident differences between Ygritte and Jon, and in a more subtle way, he has used this conversation to tell us about Jon’s true parentage as the son of a Targaryen prince and a Stark maid.

Hints about Jon’s Targaryen parentage: 

“Women who bed brothers or fathers or clan kin offend the gods, and are cursed with weak and sickly children. Even monsters."   

This is true about Targaryen members.  They married and bedded brothers and sisters, and that practice affected the Targaryen women health and fertility.  In Fire and Blood, we can find a lot of Targaryen young girls that were weakened with every pregnancy and at the end they ended up dying in childbirth and/or giving birth sickly children or stillborn twisted and malformed babies.  

This happened with Rhaella: 

Following Rhaegar's birth, Rhaella and Aerys had multiple trouble where childbirth was concerned. In the seventeen years following Rhaegar's birth, Rhaella went through multiple pregnancies, stillbirths and miscarriages:

-miscarriage in 263 AC -miscarriage in 264 AC -Princess Shaena Targaryen, born in 267 AC, stillborn -Prince Daeron Targaryen, born in 269 AC, lived only half a year -stillbirth in 270 AC, gender and name of child unknown -miscarriage in 271 AC -Prince Aegon Targaryen, born in 272 AC, born two months premature, died in 273 AC -Prince Jaehaerys Targaryen, born in 274 AC, died later that same year -Prince Viserys Targaryen, born in 276 AC  -Princess Daenerys Targaryen, born in 284 AC                                     

[Source]

And Daenerys: 

-Rhaego was stillborn and malformed

[Source]

Jon’s father, Rhaegar Targaryen, had not fertility problems tho, and Jon was healthy enough to survive.  

Hints about Jon’s Stark parentage:

“And when I told you the tale o' Bael the Bard and how he plucked the rose o' Winterfell, I thought you'd know to pluck me then for certain, but you didn't. You know nothing, Jon Snow.”

But Ygritte was not a Rose of Winterfell.  The Rose of Winterfell is a clear reference to Jon’s mother, Lyanna Stark: 

“You said you were the Bastard o’ Winterfell.” “I am.” “Who was your mother?” “Some woman. Most of them are.” Someone had said that to him once. He did not remember who. She smiled again, a flash of white teeth. “And she never sung you the song o’ the winter rose?” “I never knew my mother. Or any such song.” “Bael the Bard made it,” said Ygritte. “He was King-beyond-the-Wall a long time back. (…) “Well, long before he was king over the free folk, Bael was a great raider.” (…) “The Stark in Winterfell wanted Bael’s head, but never could take him, and the taste o’ failure galled him. One day in his bitterness he called Bael a craven who preyed only on the weak. When word o’ that got back, Bael vowed to teach the lord a lesson. So he scaled the Wall, skipped down the kingsroad, and walked into Winterfell one winter’s night with harp in hand, naming himself Sygerrik of Skagos. Sygerrik means ‘deceiver’ in the Old Tongue, that the First Men spoke, and the giants still speak.” “North or south, singers always find a ready welcome, so Bael ate at Lord Stark’s own table, and played for the lord in his high seat until half the night was gone. The old songs he played, and new ones he’d made himself, and he played and sang so well that when he was done, the lord offered to let him name his own reward. ‘All I ask is a flower,’ Bael answered, ‘the fairest flower that blooms in the gardens o’ Winterfell.’” “Now as it happened the winter roses had only then come into bloom, and no flower is so rare nor precious. So the Stark sent to his glass gardens and commanded that the most beautiful o’ the winter roses be plucked for the singer’s payment. And so it was done. But when morning come, the singer had vanished … and so had Lord Brandon’s maiden daughter. Her bed they found empty, but for the pale blue rose that Bael had left on the pillow where her head had lain.” Jon had never heard this tale before. (…) “Lord Brandon had no other children. At his behest, the black crows flew forth from their castles in the hundreds, but nowhere could they find any sign o’ Bael or this maid. For most a year they searched, till the lord lost heart and took to his bed, and it seemed as though the line o’ Starks was at its end. But one night as he lay waiting to die, Lord Brandon heard a child’s cry. He followed the sound and found his daughter back in her bedchamber, asleep with a babe at her breast.” “Bael had brought her back?” “No. They had been in Winterfell all the time, hiding with the dead beneath the castle. The maid loved Bael so dearly she bore him a son, the song says … though if truth be told, all the maids love Bael in them songs he wrote. Be that as it may, what’s certain is that Bael left the child in payment for the rose he’d plucked unasked, and that the boy grew to be the next Lord Stark. So there it is—you have Bael’s blood in you, same as me.”

—ACOK - Jon VI

The tale of Bael the Bard and the Rose of Winterfell resembles Jon’s own story: Bael the Bard, a king, and Rhaegar Targaryen, a prince, both harp players, “abducted” a Stark maid, Brandon’s daughter and Lyanna, ‘the fairest flower that blooms in the gardens o’ Winterfell’.  Rhaegar also crowned Lyanna as the Queen of Love and Beauty with blue winter roses, and they procreated a “bastard” son, Jon Snow. Lyanna died after giving birth to Jon, and the memories of that tragic even haunted Ned, who remembers Lyanna’s bleeding in bed and the blue winter roses.

And here is the best part, because it turns out that Jon actually bedded a girl that was his kin:

“So there it is—you have Bael’s blood in you, same as me.”

Ygritte tried to allure Jon with the tale of Bael the Bard and the Rose of Winterfell, but according to this tale Bael and the Rose joined both people, Wildlings and Starks, as kin.  And that’s why Ygritte said to Jon:  “You have Bael’s blood in you, same as me.”     

¡That’s vile!  ¡You know nothing Ygritte! 

So there you have it, Jon Snow bedded a redhead, blue eyed, half-fish girl that, in a broad sense, was also his sister. 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you for your ask.

[echovoidheart]

Dsmp as Hollow Knight themes

i would make this into a video but i don't know how

featuring: my attempts at character/story/musical tone analysis! me talking about hollow knight lore way more than neccesary! spoilers for literally anything imaginable about hollow knight (literally so many spoilers) and angst :)

also here's a spotify (or youtube) playlist so you can hear the songs i'm talking about

Tommy: Dung Defender

- this is probably the most cheerful theme in the entire game, to be honest

- a very upbeat & proud battle theme

- i think it fits really well with Tommy's personality. loud and proud and optimistic and a little bit brash

- Tommy always tried to start fights, but always the lighthearted, playful kind. a clash between friends, but never with ill intent (he never wanted it to get so serious. when did it change? why did it have to?)

- i think Tommy and Ogrim would get along. Ogrim is my fave npc to talk to in hk because he is just Fun

Tubbo: Fungal Wastes

- this specific theme just makes me think Mischief

- it's just a mischief theme.

- like yes let us Set Traps and Cause Problems on Purpose

- i just. think tubbo is similar to mr. mushroom

- absolutely fucking incomprehensible

- also the wastes enemies are some of my favourites. like hehe little mushroom dudes go "wAAh!" like waluigi and also bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk-

- (also the wastes lore is just really interesting to me? like idk something about the mushroom clan and whatever the hell is goin on with mr. mushroom is intriguing to me)

Ranboo: Crystal Peak

- this is definitely not favouritism absolutely not no way

- definitely not me putting my favourite theme with my favourite character

- genuinely tho i do think it fits him

- very Mysterious and Intriguing. there are many questions here that may not ever get answered

- like with the area of Crystal Peak you don't really know what's up with the place? it kinda sticks out compared to every other area in the game. these purple/pink crystals everywhere, what are they, why are they there, what do they do? why are people so obsessed with mining it- it's not like it was used as currency. or anything else directly seen in the entire rest of the kingdom. what's the connection with the Moth Tribe and the Radiance- did they use the crystals? if so, what for? there's obviously some connection there, since Hallownest's Crown, the only shrine left dedicated to the Radiance, sits at the very top

-and ranboo's lore is very similar. mostly in that it is just one giant ass question mark. what the fuck is up with that boy

- also i think the action theme for this area fits with the enderwalk

Wilbur (specifically, Pogtopia era): Sealed Vessel

- (volume warning for the intro to this song if you haven't listened to it already)

- ok. so

- if you listen through the theme all the way through (or have seen this fight in the game)

- you can tell. this starts off as a Dramatic Villain Battle Theme

- it's very intense. very dramatic. you're fighting the Hollow Knight, the final boss (you assume)

- but then like.. halfway through

- it just gets so... sad

- because at that point in the battle the hollow knight literally starts trying to stab itself mid-fight

- because it's trying to fight back against the infection within itself. the infection that is controlling it and forcing it to fight you the player

- i just think. it kinda conveys what i saw in wilbur's character at the time. big and bad and lashing out but it's only because there's this pain inside him, this sadness and turmoil that he can't shake so his only solution is to burn everything down to the fucking ground with him inside

- and then comes the very end of the theme. the calm. the quiet. and just. it makes me imagine. Wilbur's last moments before his death. this bitter, twisted sort of peacefulness as he lays in his father's arms bleeding out. it's all gone. it's finally over. he's finally gone.

- ok. end of angst. moving on

Ghostbur: City of Tears

- i think the song title speaks for itself here

- i just think the general area in the game fits Ghostbur

- it's this quiet, empty place. it used to be a city. it used to be full of life. but now it's empty. few remain other than the husks that wander about, and even they don't truly feel whole because who can be whole when surrounded by such loneliness and despair?

- but still. those quiet few persist. they find themselves where they can in the remains of what once was

- it's sad, yes. the city is constantly crying, the rain never ceases.

- but there's a hint of hopefulness, too. that things can get better.

- i miss ghostbur :(

Philza: Truth, Beauty, and Hatred

- Philza is far more deserving of this theme than the hk character that gets it.

- i mostly just thought the song title fit with Phil

- like how Phil is so old compared to a lot of the other characters. He's seen a lot, death, betrayal, loss, fortune, light, darkness. The lens he views the world in is much different than many of the other characters because of this jadedness

- but also just hehe cool battle theme for philza :)

- very good. intense and dramatic but doesn't have the same Fight For Your Life vibe as other battle themes.

Niki: Pale Court

- i actually don't know when this theme plays in-game

- i just. listened to it once and. jesus. this theme man. actually obsessed with it tbh

- the way the theme starts out similar to the White Palace theme. calm, serene, kinda nice

- and it stays that way for a decent while!

- but slowly, gradually

- there's a slight. warp. in the tone

- a descent

- it's gradual

- but it's noticeable

- it becomes less peaceful and more

- painful?

- and then it starts to spiral further and faster

- until it's no longer the same tone at all

- now it's desperation and hurt and

- it tries to return to the same melody but it just doesn't work, it isn't the same

- there's a buildup, a burst-

- and then... calm. not quite the same as before. but maybe it's possible to be something close to it again?

- i just. hope niki is doing ok in the bear smp :( she deserves it. and also maybe some therapy.

Eggpire: Broken Vessel

- ok not a just single character here but more of a Group of Characters

- but like. the vibes

- this is just a good battle theme that feels like. like this is Danger. this is a Fight To The Death

- this is one of those boss fights in hk that to me feels like. this isn't just a random animal throwing itself mindlessly in your direction in the hopes that it hits you. this isn't a test of strength between equals. no, this is a fight. this is an enemy that is swinging its blade with full intent to kill you, specifically you, and there is direction and purpose behind each strike. if you don't fight back you aren't making it out alive. there is an infection spreading and it wants you dead.

- and the worst part is, it's using your own brethren to take you down.

- it's just. the way the vessel looks up at you one last time after you beat it in the game. that scene hurt me :(

Technoblade: Radiance

- boss fight boss fight boss fight

- for techno it was actually between this one and the theme titled Furious Gods

- i just picked this one in the end for two reasons

- firstly and mainly just because Hell Yeah Epic Boss Fight

- i don't actually have that much specific character/lore analysis for techno because for some reason his character just entirely evades my perception i do not know why (i am sorry technoblade enjoyers)

- i just think he deserves an epic boss theme

Dream: Nightmare King

- and here is the second reason i went with Radiance for techno's theme: the parallels

- both boss fights being considered probably the strongest in the game (not counting Pure Vessel) and also the only two bosses with full-screen title cards

- and both techno and dream being considered some of the strongest members of the server

- also just. Nightmare King??? you think i wouldn't immediately tie that shit to the guy literally named Dream??? the guy who i might also mention literally named half of his gear Nightmare (because he is Edgy and Cool and definitely not a complete fuckin Nerd)

- lmao. anyway. nightmare king grimm is an epic, terrifying boss fight and one i will never hope to defeat in my lifetime. i can't even beat this fucker with cheats on like what the hell

- this is a good dramatic villain theme. it just sounds cool

feel free to add on more songs/characters/thoughts as well i would like to hear them

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

Being a woman is terrifying and men need to fucking stop

TW: Harrassment

This is a super long post sry

A few weeks ago, a man approached me late at night at a bus stop and refused to leave me alone. I wrote this post back then and saved it as a draft to give myself an outlet for my emotions. I didn’t want to share it because I’m afraid of people telling me ”it’s not that bad.” Or ”you’re overreacting.” But I’m going to share it now becaus it needs to be said.

It’s been weeks and I’m still terrified to go outside alone. This incident has given me horrible issues with my anxiety and ptsd. Because these sort of things have been happening to me all the time since I was 11. It never stops. Men never stop.

I’ve had enough. I’m tired of being so scared of men I fear for my life everytime I step outside. All because some fucking men won’t take no for an answer.

So here’s what happened:

As I was waiting for the bus a man started walking extremely close to me as he passed by me, despite there being lots of space on the sidewalk , to which I responded by talking a step back. A little weirded out considering we’re all in the middle of a pandemic. But I thought little of it because maybe he was just distracted. Surely there was nothing suspicious about it? Wrong.

He proceeded to walk back and forth right n front of me, too close for a stranger, all the while I’m pretending to be occupied with my phone, watching him almost circle around me, while he stared at me. So I took another step back because now he was freaking me out by walking so closely around me. My hands were shaking and I kept anxiously looking at the time display on my phone.

I heard him say ”hi” to me, but since I was wearing big headphones (which in my opinion was a pretty clear sign I didn’t want to talk) I pretended I didn’t hear.

Now at this point I had given several polite social cues that I was not interested in talking to some random stranger at a bus stop.

Let me remind you that bus stops are not places where it is socially acceptable to talk to strangers unless neccesary. Why? Because of consent.

If I were approached by a stranger at a bar and they wanted to sit down and share a drink. I would probably say ”yes” because that is an enviroment were talking to people is socially acceptable. By going to a social gathering I have given my consent to partake in social behavior.

So already we’re at a point where it is socially unacceptable and considered rude/thoughtless for this man to talk to me.

This sets off alarm bell #1

His disregard for my personal space and his weird predatory circling is also outside the borders of social norms.

That’s alarm bell #2

His staring is not only rude but extremely scary

Alarm bell #3 is ringning loud and clear.

At this point, I have reacted by ignoring him and physically stepping away. Thinking he would realise the error of his ways and leave me alone.

Wrong.

He proceeded to stand completely still, way too close for a stranger to stand at an empty bus stop, practically within arms reach and tried to get my attention by continously staring at me.

At this point I was getting scared.

Really fucking scared.

Because he had refused to respect both the social boundries and the ones set by me.

I couldn’t read the time on my phone anymore because my hands were shaking so badly.

I was on my own. In the dark. Waiting for a bus. A bus this man could follow me on and find out where I lived.

I decided to take a taxi instead, even though it’s expensive because I did not want to step onto a bus with this man.

So I ordered a taxi through an app, during this time, which is getting close to 10 minutes, the man is still staring at me.

This was the breaking point. I was so terrified and so angry. Terrified of what he was going to do, and angry because of how scared he’d made me.

I said: ”Do you want something?” In as rude a way as possible to make him leave. He said he just wanted to say hi, to which I replied ”hi” and then went back to ignoring him again.

This was a very not so subtle social cue to go fuck off. But he didn’t. He ignored the unfriendly tone in my voice and my short reply.

Alarm bell #4

He proceeded to say he just wanted to ask what I was doing and how my day was.

As if that was a normal conversation to have with a stranger at a bus stop.

At this point I was so angry and so scared I had no more patience and told him in a not so nice way, that my day had actually been fine, until he’d started circling me like a damned predator.

He immedietly got defensive, saying ”no no I just wanted to talk a little.”

Ignoring how I called him a predator, he still tried to talk to me

Alarm bell #5 went off.

My anxiety was shooting through the roof at this point. I was so scared and angry I lost my complete shit. No matter how many polite and even rude cues I gave, he refused to leave me alone.

But then two more men approached the bus stop. With the precense of more people I felt safe enough to completely drop all politeness and told him:

”No. I don’t know you and don’t want to talk to you so please leave me alone.”

Now this is it, I had oficially broken the social law of politeness. Surely now he’d understand and leave me be?

Wrong

He tried to excuse himself, getting more persistent and saying he ”just wanted to talk”

Alarm bell #6

Despite me telling him. ”No.” To leave me alone. He refused. He stepped over all boundries and ignored my vocal lack of consent.

At this point I was so scared I was close to tears and I said the only thing I can think of.

”You’re scaring me, I don’t know you, please leave me alone.”

And this man...

This fucking garbage of a human being had the audacity to act surprised.

He looked like I was out of my mind and said

”I’m scaring you?”

I was so enraged I nearly screamed at him.

”Yes! You’re scaring me! Now leave me alone!”

He shied away, looking confused and upset that I had called him out on his disgusting behavior.

It still took the two other men at the bus stop telling him to go away to make him actually leave

I took a taxi home.

I nearly cried getting into that taxi. I fought against the tears, wanting to cry alone at home.

The driver was a man, I was a bit weary at first, but he was friendly. Polite. We made small talk, he asked what I did for a living, told me he’d been playing video games before picking me up and then he told me to have a good night as he dropped me off.

I felt so safe.

What was the difference between these two men then? Why did one scare me to death and one made me feel at ease and safe?

The answer is consent. I consented to step into the driver’s car. As a taxi driver and customer, he and I had consented to us being in the car together to get from place A to place B. He did not approach me without consent, or step over my personal boundries.

Both were total strangers, but one made me want to cry and is the reason I always carry a small knife on my person. The other is the reason I made it home safely that night.

The difference is consent.

[prismatales]

Late Bloomer

Y/N Todoroki already had her life planned out, but an unexpected turn of events may end up changing everything.

This is a side story of the "Endeavor's quirkless child" series and more of a what if? scenario. Also, in this the reader takes Hatsume's place during the battle tournament. This is not neccesary, but I'd recommend you to hear the songs Phoenix from League of legends, i feel like that songs fits the reader during this story.

Next>>

MASTERLIST

Some women fear the fire. Some women simply become it.

-R.H. Sin

The Feeling of everyone's eyes on you was nerve wrecking, how are heroes supposed to concentrate on their jobs when there's people around watching their every move? Shoto wouldn't stop staring, was he seriously that surprised you were in U.A.? that you made it this far in the sports festival? was he upset that you had joined Midoriya's team during the cavalry battle? or because you nearly tased his team once during the battle...Were you really considered that worthless as not to make it?.

"Hey, you're Endeavor's daughter, right?" some random student had gotten too close to your liking, the words the used didn't help either and they didn't even notice. more people started to surround you, asking more questions at the same time over and over, completely ignoring how uncomfortable they were making you feel.

"i can't believe he has a sister" a student whispered to his group of friends.

"What's it like to be his daughter?"

"But why are you in the support course instead of the hero course?"

"What's your quirk like?"

"Stop it!" Ren, one of your classmates and friend from the support course yelled at the crowd stepping between you and everyone else "Can't you see she's uncomfortable? you keep asking her questions without even allowing her to say a word!" Hatsume also joined them, both of them knew how much you hated talking about quirks. The both of them distracted the crowd long enough allowing you to quietly step back and make a run for it, neither the students, Hatsume or Ren noticed you were gone until they turned back and didn't see you.

Letting out a deep breath as relief washed over your body after escaping the crowd of student made the tension dissipate. But not the thoughts running inside your head...

"This was bound to happen..." you thought, walking towards the cafeteria to have some water and take a small break before the next event started. The others would eventually catch up, more than willing to help with any repairs your equipment happened to need, fortunately the only thing needing some serious repairment were the booster sneakers you let Uraraka borrow for the cavalry battle, one had been broken while trying to escape the other teams, but it could be fixed on time.

Your plans were interrupted when you crashed into someone, stumbling for a moment before the person's hand shot up grabbing you tightly by the upper arm.

"I'm really sorry, I wasn't paying attent..." looking up at the person who helped you made the words die in your mouth, blood draining from your face.

It was your father...and he was furious.

He didn't say anything, but dragged you away to a place where nobody would hear what he had to say, so focused on the task that even if you had ended up falling for real he'd probably be dragging you all over the floor. The grip he had on your arm was starting to hurt. Taking you to an empty hallway and turning his whole body to face you.

"What do you think you're doing here?! and what in the world did you do to your hair?!" the look on his face was nothing compared to the pain you were feeling in your arm, wincing painfully as you tried to pull away from his clutches.

"I'm studying here! let go of me, it hurts!"

"Don't lie to me! you're just here to distract your brother aren't you?"

Of course....of course that was the only thing he cared about.

Shoto...his masterpiece.

"If you paid any attention you'd notice I don't even talk to him! just like you ordered all of us back home! or have you forgotten We're nothing more than failures to you?!" You growled this time, there was anger in those words, but he paid no mind.

"Do not try to fool me, I saw what you did back there"

He was talking about the cavalry battle, Shoto wouldn't stop staring at you when you went and joined Midoriya's team, specially after the way you nearly tased Iida when they took your team's points.

The grip on your arm wouldn't budge, it was starting to become painfully numb, but Endeavor paid no attention as he started dragging you again.

"You're coming back home and change schools this instant, you're just being a distraction to Shoto"

His words made your blood boil in anger. The rational part of your mind was telling you to stay quiet, that it wasn't a good idea to say anything when someone who could easily inflict third degree burns had a deathly grip on your arm, but that thought was easily disregarded by the emotional part of your brain, only making the anger inside of you grow stronger.

"So that's how it is?...you're just going to get rid of another distraction aren't you?" Endeavor only kept walking, completely ignoring you "Just like you did with mom?! JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH TOUYA?!"

His whole body became stiff, letting go of your arm in surprise and giving you the chance to pull away from his grasp before he started walking again. He turned around furious and ready to reprimand you for mentioning Touya, but the look on your face made him go silent, eyes full of anger, frustration and resentment towards him, it was like he was looking into a mirror and you were his reflection. He saw the way you held the spot he had grabbed on, an ugly bruised had quickly appeared on the spot from the strength he had used, a bit more tighter and it could have probably fractured your arm.

Ironic isn't it? for someone who's face clearly resembles her mother's, (Y/N) clearly had the same glare as her father.

He didn't realize you had ran away from him until the sound of your footsteps resonated through the hallway, running away in a rush and almost colliding with one of your friends, it was that little gasp from almost running into Hatsume that made him turn your direction.

"There you are!, let's make sure your gadgets are working correctly before your match begins! remember you're representing the support course!" Hatsume literally pulled you away, neither of you paying attention to Endeavor's glare, Hatsume was oblivious about it, focused on talking about which gadgets could come in handy during the events, You were focusing on her in order to avoid looking his way, and quickly walked away with her. Endeavor was seething in fury the moment Touya's name came out of your mouth, but he had other matters to care about, and went looking for Shoto, completely unaware he had been listening on the altercation...

Two hours later everyone was watching the battle tournament from the stands, you were sitting with everyone from the support department, quite some distance away from the hero department, and your brother.

The matches were going surprisingly fast, Midoriya's match against Shinso was quick, but impressive....But the moment Shoto's match against Sero began there was a moment you felt something weird on the inside, maybe it was that thing, twin telepathy or the frustration felt by your father's threat, but it was almost like you could feel everything Shoto was feeling the moment he created that massive ice wall, anger and sadness coursing through him....

With each round the pounding inside your chest just kept on getting worse, your turn was getting closer and closer, the pressure of being the only student from the support course AND being the only quirkless participant made the tension even worse, the anxiety you were feeling slowly starting to get heavier, along with that inner voice inside your head that wouldn't stop showing its ugly face no matter how much you tried to keep it at bay. You could almost feel it digging its nails on your shoulders as it whispered in your ear.

"Why do you even bother?"

The next match was about to begin, Mina Ashido vs. Aoyama Yuga.

Then it would be your turn...

Standing up from your seat with shaking legs you could only whisper to your friends who were curious about this behaviour, maybe the class didn't know each other for a long time, but never in all those months did they ever see (Y/N) Todoroki being this nervous, you were known to be pretty sarcastic and would always talk back to people that tried to mess with you or your friends, never taking shit from anybody that wasn't a teacher. This behaviour was new to everybody.

"I need to get ready for the match" taking a deep breath you left the stands and headed towards the locker rooms, all of your classmates said they'd root for you an would be wishing good luck. All you could do was give them a nervous nod and an awkward grin. with each step the nerves were getting harder to control. That damned voice only kept on whispering and mocking you...

"Might was well drop the fight, you already know how it's going to turn out"

A wave of nausea washed over all of sudden, forcing you to make a detour and run towards the girl's bathroom.

clutching the sides of a sink, head tilted down, shoulders hunched and breathing heavily, bile slowly trying to make its way out of your throat.

"You can't do it"

"I can do this...I can"

The moment your muscles tensed, a feeling of pain in your left arm made you look up in surprise and snap out of the trance you had slipped into, it ended up making you look at your reflection, it was something that wouldn't stop making you uneasy, specially the sight of your hair, the memory of your mother's screams as she saw the locks of hair still fresh in your mind, looking at your arm distracted you from those painful moments and focus on the huge purple bruise all around the bicep.

The sight of the bruise only managed to upset you even further, eyes narrowing at the sight of it and gritting your teeth into a snarl, the grip on the sink only got tighter, the pain in your knuckles made it clear.

"He's right, you know..."

In a fit of rage and newfound determination you pulled away from the sink and headed to the locker room for the rest of your equipment, highly focused on the task that you didn't notice the scorched handprints burning on the corners of the sink...

Finally...it was your turn to fight...

Present Mic started presenting both you and your opponent with vigor...

"Offense and defense in one body! The dark samurai accompanied by Dark Shadow! From the hero course, it's Fumikage Tokoyami!!! Versus--The Mystery Genius of U.A.! With the highest Intellect from her generation and sharp mind! From the support course, it's (Y/N) Todoroki!!!

Everyone in the Support Course could be heard cheering loudly, some spectators were confused, for someone in the support course you were wearing nothing but accessories.

Despite being about to fight you were wearing a pair of black earrings shaped like a drop with a matching choker. A metal belt with a leather base, it had four spherical bumps made of metal distributed around the material and two utility pockets the size of your hand around your hips.

On your right wrist a silver cuff bracelet with a metallic black bead on the upper part. On the left wrist another bracelet of black beads, each of them 2cm in size. A pair of booster sneakers with the whole base customized, lastly a pair of black cyber goggles on your head.

"What do you think her quirk's like?" Shoto could hear his classmates Ojiro asking Midoriya, who already had his pen and burnt notebook in hand ready to take notes.

"I don't know, but I'm more curious about her equipment, i don't see anything apart from her belt" Shoto didn't show it, but he was worried about you, Midoriya was right, not only that but Tokoyami's quirk was powerful. He could only hope his classmate wasn't as violent as Bakugo.

He could only watch in worry how nervous you were, and from the corner of the stands he could see his father watching, he seemed angrier than usual, like he was judging (Y/N).

You gulped nervously at the sight of your opponent, he had been one of your teammates during the cavalry battle so you knew about his disadvantage against light, you may still have a chance.

Still...tilting your head up towards the stands where your classmates were cheering gave you a push of confidence...and then you saw him as well...

Your father was watching...

"Is this some kind of sick joke? You've never paid attention all these years, now you're just waiting to say 'I told you so' once I lose the match, don't you?" Those thoughts only fed the frustration you felt on the inside. For some reason your body started feeling weird, it was warmer than usual, probably by the anger...But you wouldn't give him the pleasure of pulling you out of school without a fight and turned back to face Tokoyami.

"I'll show you what I can do"

"Sixth match, start!!!"

"Dark Shadow!"

Tokoyami's quirk activated, Dark shadow coming out through his chest quickly charging forwards. Though the moment it got closer Dark Shadow got hit across the face by something.

Everyone looked in wonder as a metallic spider-like limb came out from one of the bumps on the belt striking Dark Shadow with force. Hatsume was shaking on her seat excited as she used her quirk and saw the support companies watching with interest.

Dark shadow charged again, grabbing the attachment before it could strike again, just to be hit by another leg, both coming from the bumps in the front of the belt, it became a back and forth fight between the bird like creature and your gear, each trying to strike and block one attack after another.

While Tokoyami was barely moving from his spot you were slowly going from left to right, looking for any blind spot, Dark Shadow could move a long distance, but if he got too far Tokoyami could be open for attack during a few seconds.....Of course Tokoyami was also observing the situation and caught up with your attack pattern, Dark Shadow's attacks became faster, making it hard to block, until another two limbs came out of the belt.

Everyone was cheering as the battle kept going, this time it was starting to get serious, both Tokoyami and you started circling one another, Dark Shadow's was getting even faster than before, then it managed to grab two of the attachments in the front, and broke them.

"Shit!" the other two were called back, the broken ones were letting out sparks, the distraction was enough for Dark Shadow, he grabbed you by the shoulders and began to try pushing you out of bounds, just for the other limbs to burrow themselves into the ground abruptly, making you unable to be moved.

"I need to go on the offensive"

"Oh! she's going to use the beads!" Ren was getting excited, and so was the curious crowd as they saw you yanking off the beaded bracelet before throwing the beads all over the floor right in front of Tokoyami's sight.

Kaminari laughed "Is she trying to trip him?" thinking Tokoyami wouldn't fall for something like that until the beads exploded like flash grenades, startling Tokoyami, Dark Shadow and the crowd.

"what kind of jewelry is that?!" a hero in the stands was surprised until Hatsume began explaining your gadget's functions with excitement.

"Todo-chan's equipment is meant to be subtle, that's why it looks like normal accessories!" she beamed when the support companies were looking in amazement at the match, some of them were taking notes. Her explanation left some heroes amazed by the idea that something so subtle could be so tricky.

Tokoyami pulled his arms from his face, blurry vision from the flashes left him vulnerable, he didn't see you running towards him with the goggles covering your eyes from the light, then he felt how you landed an elbow strike to his face following with a side kick that left many people cheer in amazement.

"Thank god Natsuo insisted on the Kickboxing lessons!"

"An impressive ambush by Todoroki (Y/N)!" Present Mic was yelling to the crowd, Shoto was astonished by your movements, not expecting his sister to be a talented fighter and neither did Endeavor who's disapproval was yet to leave his face, so what if you were good at fighting? you were still quirkless...

"She's Endeavor's daughter, right?" even far away from the stands those words still ended up reaching your ears making your whole body freeze on reflex.

no....please no...stop

"Why isn't she using her quirk?" those words were like a key unlocking the door of a prison where a horrendous monster was being restrained, that prison was your head...and the monster slowly crawling its way out...were your thoughts.

"See? you're Useless"

"Why did she stop?" "Is she alright?"

Tokoyami realized you stopped attacking and took the chance. Dark shadow got closer, this time it was gripping your arms and began pushing you back again, the feeling of its claws on the bruise only making you flinch at the massive amount of pain, your feet dragging dirt from the strength it was using, the robotic limbs had tried to dig their way on the ground, but even that wasn't working, it only slowed down Dark Shadow, the edge of the arena was slowly getting closer.

That's when Shoto noticed the bruise and quickly realized what caused it, he too had ended up with similar ones when your father would drag him to the training room, he could feel his left side getting warmer, furious at Endeavor for hurting you.

Before Dark Shadow could keep pushing you positioned your left foot firmly on the ground, a burst of compressed air erupting from the sole of the sneakers with tremendous strength causing you to slide to the left, away from Dark Shadow's clutches and rolling on the floor from the force.

"Those are her booster sneakers! they have enough power to lift an adult man off the ground!" Hatsume kept bragging about your equipment, distracting them from the subject about your quirk, or rather the lack of it.

Tokoyami's attacks were becoming faster and harder to block, specially with two missing limbs from your belt, pulling another beaded bracelet from one of the pockets from the utility belt, this time throwing it whole before it burst into light again and quickly ran towards him again.

But this time he was prepared, Dark Shadow had protected him, and rammed itself towards you, accidently hitting you in the face and sending you rolling back on the floor, making the crowd gasp when they saw your nose had started bleeding as you were lifting the upper part of your body from the ground and panted hard.

"Todoroki-san!" Midnight's voice was loud and firm "Out of bounds!"

"What?!" Looking down, your were sitting in the middle on the line due to Dark Shadow's attack "no..." Tilting your head up you accidently made eye contact with your father, the look of disapproval on his face making you look down again, bangs covering your eyes as your shoulders trembled and hot angry tears were close to come out....making something snap inside you, all the frustration, anger and resentment suddenly exploded inside of you into a hot rage. The feelings inside your chest clawing their way outside in a desperate struggle to come out.

"It's over for you, you should start saying goodbye to all your friends"

Everything went silent in the stadium, nobody said a word as you slowly started to get up, nose still bleeding and eyes set into a glare. Tokoyami was observing quietly. Then something inside you throbbed painfully, your head felt like it was going to explode as you held it from the sides with both hands.

"Worthless, you're a failure, a distraction"

"Shut up!" you screamed, the pain was getting worse making you fall on your knees and curl into fetal position, tears rolled down your face from the amount of pain, It was so intense that you didn't notice the way everyone was looking at you.

Or rather they were looking at your hair, there was a reddish glow coming out of it and somehow it was making the (H/C) dye disappear from the locks making it look like it was being evaporated. It started to become longer and it was burning like someone had attached fire extensions on your scalp, making it reach down your waist and flow smoothly in the air like gravity had no control over it.

"Something's wrong" Shoto's thoughts came out without him realizing. His classmates were looking at him with curiosity "what do you mean? Isn't that her quirk?" he was hesitant to answer, he felt like he had no right to talk about it, but he was afraid "...She's quirkless..." There were gasps all over the bleachers, amazed of how long you had managed to hold your own against one of the strongest students in the hero course with only equipment.

Unknown to Shoto his father was also watching in surprise, interest and deep down slight traces of worry. Did the doctors made a mistake when they diagnosed you all those years ago?

The glow began getting more intense, a mix of red and golden energy began to appear around your body in smooth waves, the moment it made contact with the bruise on your arm the wound glowed red before it disappeared into the air like soft embers.

"What's happening?!"

Your mind was in a panic, the sight of your own limbs engulfed in flames became a blurry memory, replaced by a pair of arms full of burns and bandages, you recognized those arms, they belonged to the only person who cared about you during your childhood, the only person who took care of you when everything else was falling apart, the only person that called you "Firefly".

Those were Touya's arms...

"No...Make it stop...Make it stop!!!" You could only hold your head in horror as the memories of your brother came back in a rush....Touya's body being engulfed in flames...the way he always held you affectionately...the burn marks all over his body...how he always called you "Firefly" with such a tender voice....and the day of his funeral...

it was too much. The energy surrounding your body began swirling uncontrollably trapping you inside a vortex. You didn't notice the way your eyes started to glow with a golden light without a trace of the pupil or iris.

"You need to stop Todoroki! She's losing control on her quirk!" Aizawa was screaming through the mic, it was obvious by the look on your face this wasn't normal, he remembered reading your file after all and seeing the part where it said you were quirkless.

Midnight swiftly tried using her quirk to stop you, but as soon as the fragrance coming out of her body got close the aura ignited it, almost like it was protecting you. 

The tears in your eyes were quickly evaporated by the heat, pain and fear overwhelmed your every thought.

"Make it stop!!....Make it stop!!...TOUYA!!!"

The vortex was abruptly pulled into your body and burst out just as fast, causing a massive shockwave through the arena, everyone in the stadium could feel force of the the heat and the wind, even Endeavor had been pushed back because of it.

Cementos had luckily created a concrete barricade around the people on the bleachers just in time when they realized you lost control over the flames. Once the wave subsided the sight in the arena was similar to the aftermath of a wildfire, traces of fire and scorched marks littered the whole arena, Tokoyami was barely holding on and exhausted, having no time to get away in time he used Dark Shadow to protect him from the shockwave at the last second. 

Worry filled the whole stadium when they saw you laying on the floor passed out, the energy surrounding your body had finally disappeared and your hair had gone back to its short appearance, this time back to its natural red color.

Hours later, after the tournament had ended Shoto made his way to Recovery girl's office to check on you. Concern clear on his face at the sight of your motionless body in a Stretcher and the paramedics making their way to the ambulance while Endeavor supervised the procedure with a keen eye without adverting his gaze from your unconsious self, making one of the paramedics shake nervously. 

Shoto was quick to approach a serious looking Recovery girl. "What happened to my sister?" she gave him a look of concern "They're taking her to the hospital to run some tests, her wounds were already healed by the time she arrived" she turned back to look at you "but her quirk completely drained her, so they're going to try and figure out why it took so long to manifest".

The hospital kept you in observation for two days, leaving your siblings worried out of their minds when Natsuo and Fuyumi saw the match's footage, worry sept in them by the way you desperately called out for Touya, it was heart-breaking for them to see just how much you missed him, after all out of the whole family you had been the more affected by his death right after your mother...

The second day your eyelids slowly fluttered open, the bright light from the room made a pained groan leave your parched mouth, it felt like someone had shoved a handful of cotton down your throat, your body ached painfully, begging to get out of the bed...

Wait...bed? You swiftly got up into a sitting position startling the person standing beside you, it was a nurse checking the fluids from an IV bag connected to your right arm were flowing properly.

"Todoroki-san! I'm glad to see you awake" she offered a gentle smile and poured a glass of water before handing it over, holding it in place for security and instructing you to drink slowly, the fresh liquid felt like heaven on earth, making you sigh in happiness before you looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Let me go get the doctor, he'll explain everything to you" She left the room before you could ask her why you were in a hospital room in the first place, it took ten minutes for the Doctor to arrive and quickly began to run some basic checkups before he explained the whole situation...

Meanwhile Endeavor was in his office when he got a call from home, Fuyumi told him the hospital called and you had woken up, She mentioned both her and Shoto were going to visit you and that Natsuo was already waiting for them in the hospital. After hanging up he turned his attention back to the video playing in his computer. It was the footage of your match, he watched with intensity the moment the energy around you turned into a vortex and the moment the shockwave rattled the cameras. 

Then there was the part where the energy had healed your wounds, the bruise in your arm disappeared in an instant and by the time they took you to Recovery Girl all of the scratches and your nose were healed. With proper training you could easily rival Shoto in terms of power...If only your quirk had appeared early, you could have probably surpassed even Touya's firepower by now.

Meanwhile Fuyumi, Natsuo and Shoto were outside the hospital room where the doctor was giving them the full diagnosis as well as some instructions.

"Y/N needs to get plenty of rest, She's perfectly healthy but it would be a good idea to watch out for any changes and avoid any stressful situations for a few days, now about her quirk...after checking her family history my theory is that it took a longer time to manifest due to a mutation"

Once the doctor finished explaining everything and walked away the three went inside the room, they saw you sitting in the middle of the bed hugging your knees closer, one of your hands in front of your face while looking at it with an empty look.

"(Y/N)?" Fuyumi was the first one to speak, their worry on their faces quickly changed to surprise when your hand started to give a soft glow, the same energy from before started to appear in gentle waves this time only in your hand, causing a sad laugh to come out of your lips.

"This changes everything...doesn't it?" The aura started to grow brighter, swirling faster before vanishing as quickly as it appeared. Fuyumi went to sit on the left side of the bed, her hand rubbing your shoulder in comfort.

"All this time...I got used to the idea of never having a quirk...of never being like you guys..." your voice started to break, smiling sadly while small tears prickled the corners of your eyes "and just when I'm finally starting to accept it...Just when I think I found...what I wanted to do with my life...!" Your sister quickly pulled you into a hug as you cried, face buried on top of your knees, Natsuo was quick to join in, Shoto could only stare as he stood closer to the bed, unsure of what to do, this was the first time in years he's been this close to you and it made him feel out of place. 

He was ready to walk out of the room...until he saw you looking at him with a sad look on your face motioning him to come closer, Shoto sat next to Fuyumi with hesitation, unsure of what to say or do but then one of your hands grabbed his left one, surprising him with you gentle hold and the small smile on your face.

"I saw you match on TV....he's right you know" He knew what you were talking about, Midoriya's words...it made his hold on your hand become tighter...

It's your power.

That's how you four spent the rest of the day, together and talking about the future, catching up for lost time, Shoto quickly offered to help you train with your quirk. Of course, at the mention of training everyone thought the same thing.

What would happen with your Father?

The answer came three days after being released from the hospital. The doctors said you could go back home after one last check up, they also recommended to go easy on your quirk and gave Fuyumi a prescription for some eyedrops, the drawbacks of your quirk were overheating and irritated eyes if you overused it, one advantage though was that with the healing part of your power it took longer to overheat.

When you guys arrived home Endeavor was waiting inside, he only looked at your uncomfortable face once before leaving for a mission, he didn't say anything, which made both of your sibling to look at him with confusion. During that time you trained with Shoto in order to get better control over your quirk, both completely unaware that your father was watching your progress from afar.

The vortex from he sports festival never appeared anymore, whenever your quirk was used the fire aura would only envelope your arms up to the forearms, your eyes would glow again and your hair regained the fire extensions.

"At least is not a fire moustache" Shoto had to fight back the urge to laugh at your comment. Before you could keep up with your training there was a scream coming from the house that startled the both of you, running inside you saw Fuyumi sitting on the kitchen floor, there were pieces of glass and blood mixed with water all over the floor, the both of you rushed to her side.

"What happened?!" Shoto asked her while you were checking her injured foot. She had a look of pure agony on her face at the small cuts, a medium sized piece of glass was still lodged on her bleeding foot.

"I-I was holding a glass of water and it slipped from my hand..."

"I'll go look for the first aid kit!" he only walked a few steps before you stopped him, looking at Fuyumi's foot with a look of pure concentration, one of your hands hovered above her injury before it started to glow along with your eyes, the three of you were so focused on the matter that nobody paid attention to Endeavor, who had come back earlier from work and stood in the kitchen entrance watching.

"This might hurt a bit, do you trust me sis?" You gave her a reassuring look as your fingers slowly came in contact with the shard, she stared for a few seconds before nodding and holding her breath, her eyes were closed tightly, she had always been uneasy at the sight of blood.

Breathing deeply in concentration your fingers took hold of the glass and with a swift tug pulled it out of her wound before throwing it aside, making her yelp in discomfort for a moment, your hand quickly going back near her injury, the aura slowly starting to crawl its way down your fingers towards her foot, surrounding it with energy before making the wound slowly stop bleeding and closing shut without a trace of a scar, it was like Fuyumi never got hurt in the first place.

The aura in your hands dissapeared and your eyes went back to normal, letting out a deep breath before looking back at Fuyumi.

"Does it still hurt?" She started flexing her toes to check, but her attention had been somewhere else as her eyes once filled with pain were full of admiration and surprise when she caught sight of your power, it was far different from the vortex that appeared during the sports festival.

"It only hurts a little bit, but It’s okay...Y/N, your quirk is so gentle, and beautiful" She hummed with a soft smile on her faces, those words however made you blink in surprise for a few seconds, before looking at the palm of your hand.

All these years the idea of fire being something gentle never crossed your mind, everytime someone asked what was the first thing you'd imagine at the mention of fire, the answer would always the same.

"My Father"

People always thought it was out of admiration for your father. But nobody knew the truth, with the thought of fire came Endeavor, with the thought of Endeavor came anger, with the thought of anger came destruction...with destruction came the memories of a broken family, burned away by his ambition and desire for power.

Fuyumi's words were like a switch in your head, no longer the thoughts of fire reminded you of the past, the word 'fire' developed a different meaning, something that can destroy, but that can also make way for new life, just like a....

"...Phoenix" you whispered softly, catching everyone's attention, it took a moment for them to understand what you meant, until your palm once again started glowing and the aura came back to life, this time with a brighter glow.

"That's my quirk...Phoenix"

"It seems you finally have control over your quirk" your father's voice came out of nowhere, startling the three of you, his arms crossing and a look of confidence on his eyes that made an unneasy feeling grow inside your chest.

"You will transfer into the hero department with Shoto"

There it is again, the feeling of surprise being replaced by anger stirring inside of you, he's never paid attention to your existence until it became convenient for him, his desire to surpass All-Might still blinding his thought made you angrier by the minute. When he turned to walk away you were soon following after him, Shoto helped Fuyumi stand up and avoiding the remains of glass on the floor.

"You can't do that! I'm not leaving the support department!"

"You're going to change courses after the internships and that's final, both you and Shoto will become exceptional heroes, stronger than All-Might and anyone else"

"No! I'm not switching classes, I've never wanted to be a hero before and there’s no way I’m going to become one now!"

That's how it started, both of you engaged into a screaming match, both Shoto and Fuyumi only watched as both you and your father had ended up activating your quirks, the sight of his face and your hair covered in flames would have been funny if it wasn't for the screams you were throwing back and forth at each other.

"If you keep this up I'm running away from home!"

He only scoffed at the threat

"You wouldn’t do that, you have nowhere else to go"

Shit, he was right, none of your family lived nearby, and you always refused to talk to your mother's family out of spite for disregarding the abuse your mother had to go through, the last time they tried to talk was four years ago, but they were always ignored. And you didn't want to be a bother to Natsuo...

Then an lightbulb went off inside your head. Giving Endeavor a challenging look before you started talking again.

"Very well then..." Shoto was dumbfounded by your answer, had you really given up that easily?! But then you continued. "I'll move into the hero course, but only if you can answer this question, and if you do, I'll switch classes without hesitation, but there's a catch, you can't ask for help from anyone if you can't answer"

The look of confidence on your father's face as he accepted your terms almost made you scream in victory, buy in order to make this work you had to be quiet.

"Very well, go on"

You looked at him in the eye, the room was awfully silent until you opened you mouth and the question made Endeavor's eyes go wide.

"When is my birthday?"

The whole room fell into an uncomfortable silence, he tried to say something, but no words left his mouth, his eyes went to Fuyumi until he remembered the rule, no help from anyone. Shoto wanted to scream, your hands went to your hips with an indifferent look on your face. Ten minutes passed and he didn't answer.

"See? You know nothing about me!" You ran to your room and quickly came back with a bunch of papers before throwing them at him.

"All this time you thought I only went to U.A. to mess with my brother and never realized I had potential to do so much more, these are my grades and exams results, I have the highest grades in the whole school, you don’t even know this but my friends called me yesterday, you know what they said?"

He looked at you, report card in hand.

"They heard the support companies were going crazy over my equipment, they all want (Y/N) Todoroki to do an intership with them, not Endeavor's daughter. If you ever try to switch me into the hero course without my knowledge...I'll start failing my classes on purpose, imagine what people will say when the genius of U.A. and Endeavor's daughter starts failling her classes...now, if you'll excuse me, I need to prepare my uniform for tomorrow's class" You turned back to go to you room, but stopped in the hallway before turning your head back to him, a furious glare on his face, the paper in his hands was starting to burn away by his flames.

"Oh, and by the way...My birthday's on January 11, I'm Shoto's twin, remember?"

Walking away with a victorious smirk on your face the sound of your father's screams felt like music to your ears.

Hope you guys enjoyed this, please let me know what you think of this side-story!

I want to thanks my friends @godtieruwu @undead0relived and @mysticalite for helping me with some aspect for this story and listening to my ramblings.

Also, @mysticalite drew some fanart of my Todoroki!reader and it's so lovely! It's a comparison between reader and Rei!