#because i am stronger bitch and i will destroy you

[ninyard]

Heyy! You said someone should ask you about Kevin under this post about Kevin's struggles from the nest of which we don't know enough... So I'm asking you about Kevin! Please tell us your Kevin thoughts! You always make very good points and I like reading your thoughts!!

cody my friend I am so glad you asked but you might regret it. i hope you're prepared from an unorganised huge convoluted MESS of a ramble

i've been thinking for a few days about this one like... what would a kevin POV look like? what is he hiding? how does he cope? WHO IS HE?

the kevin we ""know"" is a "coward", an insufferable bitch, an asshole and a hardass. other people's opinions and view of him makes up the entirety of our impression of who he is. but that's not who he is. that's just who we're supposed to believe he is.

kevin, born and bred to have this... borderline psychopathic lack of empathy, who can look his teammates in the eye after being told seth is dead or andrew is being committed and say, "what about the game?"

but when the raven's are switching districts; his sense of danger and fear is paralysing. he's three steps ahead trying to figure out how to please riko, how to keep himself safe, willing to put himself back into the centre of his abuse just to stop riko from finding him and killing him. he has to get blackout drunk to deal with any amount of riko. he's frozen with fear by being in the same room as him.

kevin knows where jean's mind and body goes to when hes panicking, knowing his worst place is right back in the nest being drowned by riko. kevin telling neil "do you know what he'll do to you?" and "he'll break you" when neil asks for his ticket. kevin's text to him before he goes into the nest, and staring at neil like he'd seen a ghost when neil returns after the nest (when he looks like the butcher). his comforting "i know what he's like" or "i know how he sees you, i know it means he did not hold back,".

kevin nervous breakdown panic attack day vs kevin smile for the cameras one track exy mind day

im so intrigued by him. how does he cope? his mother is dead, probably killed by the mafia family he was raised by. he grew up into a cult, he was only a child watching neil's father cut a man into pieces in front of him. how many other's had he seen?

how many other injuries cover his body, in places where the cameras can't see? how many rapes and assaults was he forced to watch in the nest? how many beatings was he forced to participate in? what did he have to say to jean in french that he didn't want riko to hear?

he needs someone with him all the time because of the nest. he's a "health freak" because of the nest. his sleep schedule, his anger, his anxiety.

did he say "what about the season?" re: andrew after drake because he doesn't care, or did he think "i've seen this happen too many times. and they've always kept playing,"? did he think "andrew is the strongest person i know. andrew is stronger than me. he would never let this destroy him," knowing that it has?

nobody has protected him in his life apart from the cameras and andrew.

he's scared. he doesn't know what love is supposed to look like.

he's only been a human for a year.

his scars are healing for the first time in his life and they're not being replaced by new ones, but every day he's afraid that that's going to get ripped out from underneath him. his entire life already got flipped upside down when he left the nest. of course exy is the only thing he "cares" about.

because it's the only thing that's been certain in his life, and even for those few weeks or months where he thought he would never play again, he trained and trained, and learned how to use his non-dominant hand because he can't lose this. he can't lose exy like he's lost everything else.

kevin has never had anything stable in his life except for violence and exy. now he has people he's supposed to care about, and he has to change his priorities. he has to learn how live a life that isn't fueled by self-preservation for the first time ever.

jean was only in the nest for five years; and look at him. look at what the nest has done to his social skills, his view of himself, his self esteem. look at what it's done to him, how he expects violence and contrition, coach and always waiting and waiting and waiting for the punishment to come.

kevin might not have had the same level of physical abuse that jean had, but he was there far longer. the ravens existed before him; their mindset and their abuse and their violence and their poison.

he's been drinking the raven poison since his childhood. the only difference between him and jean other than those things above is that kevin had more pressure to hide it, because he was half of the face of the ravens, half of the face of Exy; media trained or PR trained or a master at being a fraud and faking the way he speaks when he's being recorded.

kevin knows how to hide his abuse because he has always had to, and he's had quite a lot of practice at it.

kevin has only been a human for a year. kevin has only been kevin for a year.

so who is he? does he even know?

or is he just Kevin Day, Raven Fox starting striker, number two, six foot two, left handed right handed left handed, heavy racquet, stick size five? is that all he will ever see himself as?

anyways. or something like that. maybe he is just an insufferable bitch for no reason at all. who knows!

[ithuriels-criativety]

Underrated Emotions: Envy

It is common to a character to have explicit happiness, sadness, anger, grudge, love, and the others emotions that are easily felt by the writer. It is not a bad thing to put your character to feel like you do, they're a part of your imagination after all. But sometimes writers forget that a human being is much more complicated than the main emotions of Disney Inside Out.

Envy is one of my main emotions actually, I am not proud of it but I think it is pretty much justified as a transgender, thank you very much. This feeling is usually personified in villains and antagonists, but the brightest main character can be an envious bitch. Envy is an ugly feeling. Like a disease, it consumes you from the inside and it is near impossible to get rid of.

People get envious for many reasons, but it is never a random reaction. A kid might be envious of the other because a shiny toy. A teenager might be envious of the other because of their relationship with their family. It can have so many variations that can suit a character that I'm having a hard time to find a character who couldn't feel that way.

It usually is a passive feeling that is always there somehow. For me it is strong and loud and ashamed, but I could never put all of my agony in words. When feeling envious, people tend to look with longing in their eyes, it is hard to look away from the object of your feeling be it love, hatred or envy. You can have it as a possessive reaction, as an aesthetic one, as an wealth one, etc.

The ones who suffer from it like I do don't voice their ugly feelings. We do not want the look in our eyes to be recognized as what it really is. For me it comes with a broken heart. I see men that look a bit like me and my heart breaks as I think I couldn't ever be "authentic" like them, and as it gets worse the emotion becomes uglier and morphs into hatred.

Hatred, disgust, anger and almost every ugly feeling walk hand in hand with envy. It makes it stronger, more apparent. Some people are ashamed of their feelings, thinking it is pathetic, so their efforts are even bigger to hide it.

I have not seen many envious characters so far. Remember that not all envy is poisonous, it can motivate someone to be a better person in some cases. And representing all transgenders as highly envious is kind of stereotypical, don't be a jerk while writing a character like this.

If you are interested in applying this trait to a character, make sure to give them a good development. A envious character that cannot overcome their dirty mind is not a character that has matured during their life experience/during the history.

Here are some ideas of a envious character development!

"I can never be like them!" To "I am enough by just being myself." (Do not do the "They weren't what I thought"! This is not a character getting over their feelings)

"I can never have what they have!" To "I do not need it to be happy." (Do not do the "I have better now"! This is not a character getting mature, this is a ridiculous childish reaction)

"I can never be talented like them!" To "No one needs to be perfect at everything." (Do not do the "I am better than them now." However I do not completely oppose to the "Even them are not good in everything, why should I?" But just if it is done rightly, so be careful!)

You can also try doing a dark ending to your character, but be careful since it is very hard to make it good/believable

"I can never be like them, so I will tear them apart." (This can have some very interesting variations, be creative!)

"I can never have what they have, so I will destroy everything they possess." (This is a very interesting plot to a smart character)

"I can never be talented like them, so I will make them unable to do this activity." (Like injuring a athlete or ruining someone's reputation)

Do not forget to give a believable reason to their envy. Ugly feelings like that are built with time and more then one bad day at someone's life.

Also! It is a very nice plot to make a dark envious character having his role swapped with the one they were trying to destroy in the middle of their evil journey OR being destroyed by a side character that was envious of them without their knowledge. Your creativity can handle the details of a good plot twist!

Talking about me now. I am a sucker for happy endings, but a dark ending for a evil main character along with the downfall of their enemy is a beautiful ending to a story based in the concept of Envy.

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - A Baldurs Gate fanfiction

CHAPTER 19

After our delicious dinner, we put the baby to bed and I decided to head on over to Karlach and Wyll’s house, who luckily only live right down the road from us. No point in summoning Withers in this case, though Gale did beg me to stay home and he goes instead. I told him it won’t take long and I’m bound to come across a devil regardless.

“I won’t be long,” I assure him. “Remember, I still have my powers.”

“Alright, just be careful. Who knows what lurks out in the night? I won’t rest until you make it home. I love you.” I smile as I feel the comfort of his words. He doesn’t underestimate me, and if it weren’t for the fact a devil is watching me, he wouldn’t be as worried.

“I love you too.” I close the door behind me and make my merry way to see my friends, hoping they have some advice – or something – to assist me in the unfortunate circumstance.

The violet night sky in Waterdeep absorbs my attention, the aura of the sunset bringing out various colors that are reflecting within the large pond in the middle of town. There’s also restaurants with tables outside where people are chatting underneath the lights hanging from the roof. Such a lovely and calming sight to see. I am still very skeptical, so I make sure to eyeball every corner to make sure I’m not being spied upon.

After roughly a fifteen minute stroll, I make it to Karlach and Wyll’s mahogany cottage that sits by the docks of the sea. Before I even have the opportunity to knock on the door, Karlach opens it immediately as I approach; it’s as if she knew I’m here.

“Emmy!” Her voice is filled with enthusiasm as her face lights up. “What are you doing here? Please, come inside!” I walk into her cozy home, noticing the fireplace in the livingroom light up the home. It smells of a delicious herbal tea here.

“Hey there, Emmy. I’m sure judging by Karlach’s inability to contain her excitement that we never get visitors,” Wyll chimes in playfully with a smile on his face. “Say, where’s Gale and the little one?”

“He’s at home with the baby, she’s asleep and boy did she need it! I’m really sorry to pop in unexpectedly like this, I hate being that person.”

“Trust me, we’re thrilled that you’re here! Wait, did you and Gale have a fight? What happened?!” Karlach exclaims in a rising panic, which causes me to chuckle. “Pleeeease tell me you’re not divorcing.”

“No, no! Nothing of the sort. We’re stronger than ever before.”

“Then what troubled you, friend?”

“So, you’re both familiar with devil pacts and contracts. Zariel wants me to sell Jenevelle’s soul because it contains such strong strands of the weave and it’s enough to destroy Raphael out of the position as archdevil. In exchange, Jenevelle would be given the gift of immortality. Zariel wouldn’t say what would happen if we didn’t take the deal.” Karlach and Wyll both look frightened, their eyes wide as I spoke the words out loud. They’re trying to process all of the information it seems. Wyll sighs as he stiffens his shoulders.

“I hate to say it, but you need to take the deal. Trust me on this,” he mutters with concern. “Jenevelle would gain an incredible gift. Yes, it sucks she won’t age. It sucks she won’t grow up. However, you would all be free of Raphael and you wouldn’t have to worry about losing her. She’s a baby – so very delicate and fragile.” He has a very valid point. There’s more good than bad when it comes to selling her soul, and although it will be tedious at times, she will be with us and not in the Hells.

“As much as I despise the bitch that’s Zariel, you need to accept the deal. Please, Emmy. Remember when Raphael said that he would make you his ‘Hope’ for eternity? Best to avoid that,” Karlach adds. Her eyes seem to be tearing up, as if she truly believes I won’t take the deal. I realize how correct they both are and sigh heavily, hating the fact Jenevelle has no say in the matter but I’d do anything to make sure she’s not taken from me.

“Thank you both. I’m trying so damn hard to wrap my mind around this. Gale and I…we’ll be selling our souls too, in exchange for immortality.”

“Probably the best choice you could make for Jenevelle’s sake,” Wyll responds. “I am so sorry you got dragged into all of this.” I feel a huge weight taken off my chest as I come to a final decision and seeing the bright side of it all. I smile as I inhale, then exhale the tension that was built up inside me.

“It’s alright. Thank you both. I’ve made the decision. I hope you can both come by soon. Jenevelle misses you I’m sure.”

“Oh, you know damn well I’ll hold that baby any time! Just say the word and I’ll be there.”

I leave their house roughly an hour after the difficult conversation, and as I Head home I try to walk quickly so I can make it home before it’s too dark out. Unfortunately for me, I’m not an elf or any other race that can see in pitch black darkness. Luckily, I’m not far from the tower and I’m sure Gale is worried sick. As I pass the giant, beautiful oaktree that has years of wisdom within it, I notice a raunchy odor – sulphur, maybe?

“What…the hell is that?” I try to ignore it and continue my merry way back home, but then a dark shadow appears in front of me before my very eyes, quickly revealing itself as Zariel. I was hoping she would at least wait until I got home.

“Ah, Mrs. Dekarios. There you are. Time is ticking, my darling. Have you made your choice?” I hesitate and take a deep breath before I give her my answer.

“Yes. I’ll sell her soul for her to gain immortality. Destroy that bastard for good. And one more thing…”

“Oh? A proposition?”

“I request that Gale and I sell our souls for immortality as well.” She smirks but contemplates her next word, and it seems she isn’t against the idea. Besides, more souls for the devils means more power.

“Just so you know, this will completely unbind Gale from Mystra. He will still have his magic of course, but he will no longer be her chosen. His soul will no longer belong to her, just like how yours will no longer belong to your goddess. Would you like to proceed?” I never in a million years thought I would betray my goddess. I didn’t ask for this. I just wish we never got involved with Raphael in the first place, though that would have meant not being able to rescue Orpheus.

“This fucking sucks…but yes.”

“Perfect. Let’s take you home, shall we? Then we can handle the contract.” Before I know it, we appear back at home in the living area where Gale is sitting on the sofa, and he nearly shit his pants when we unexpectedly show up less than two feet away from him.

“Oh Gods! You scared the daylight out of me. Emmy, my love, are you alright?”

“I think so? I don’t know,” I state with mild confusion.

“Let’s get this contract started,” Zariel interrupts, and moves her hands around in an unusual motion, which causes flames to swirl around her wrists and a contract appears right before us.

“Erm…contract?” Gale questions. “Are we doing this?” I stare at the floating contract in front of us, which will change everything once signed. I realize I’ll need to cut the palm of my hand and use my blood to sign it, as will Gale.

“I spoke with Wyll and Karlach. They agreed there’s no other way out unless we wanted our daughter to be a thrall in the Hells. So… Here we are.” Gale sighs and tightly closes his eyes as we give up everything we’ve ever known: our goddess, our graceful aging, and our daughter’s future.

“Okay. Let’s do it.”

I feel the thick crimson blood pour out of my flesh as I carve it open with a silver dagger that was handed to me by Zariel. I fight back the screams as it pierces my skin, pouring out of me like a waterfall. I sign the contract and immediately my wound begins to close shut, healing almost immediately. Gale does the same, and his harsh wound heals just as rapidly. We sign the contract, and Zariel begins to speak a string of infernal words to fully validate the bloody contract.

“You will both become much more powerful than before. Are you prepared to dismiss your goddesses?” Her voice is ominous, haunting my mind as she speaks.

“I don’t crave power like I used to. Not anymore. That’s not the man I am. But… I’m also not Mystra’s plaything. Go ahead.” Gale seems ready to give up mortality and his goddess to my surprise. Part of me feels a certain pain inside as I come to the realization I’m abandoning Sȇlune.

We feel the flames consume us from head to toe, and to the cores of our souls, which travel through each layer of the Hells. A blinding light flashes in my face as my body begins to vibrate with an unfamiliar power. I feel nourished. New. Reborn. I see Gale in front of me, his skin sparkling as the flames around us vanish into dust. His body then fully appears and he appears to be in some state of shock, but in a positive way.

“Welcome to immortality,” Zariel says, a smile on her face that actually seems promising.

[hollowknightinsanity]

Do you ever think about. the fact that Radiance, the Light, the goddess of light herself, was upstaged by the Pale King. because his light was so much greater. and everyone flocked to him instead, and she was left behind and abandoned.

do you think about what she might've felt. the abandonment and betrayal she suffered, the revenge that she went lengths to achieve. would a higher being's grief be more powerful than mortal bugs, or do they grieve the same?

Well now I am

Time to ramble *cracks mental autism knuckles*

So!! I’ve always thought Radi to be more a goddess of dreams rather than light, and since I’ve already made goddesses for All Of It with my Kirby insanity (staring intently at the entire ykkan religion), she’d be more of a. Demigoddess rather than a full-on goddess. But she’s still wildly powerful.

I imagine that, with the context of my own story’s lore, Radi would be the daughter of one of the four Godsisters, specifically the Ykka of Dreams — like, in the Dream’s attempt to keep at least a part of herself alive, she threw out another being made of Dream matter to be her successor in her downfall.

Because she’s made of Dream matter, a type of matter associated with memories and emotions, her rage and grief would be felt by anyone physically close to her. Before she was contained in Holly, her own emotions would’ve been felt by all bugs throughout the entirety of Hallownest, and that’s what probably started the infection in this (VERY UNFINISHED) au. After her sealing though, it would mostly just be felt by Holly, since that’s where she is, but the already infected bugs would still be carrying that wrath.

And allll of that emotional-rage-grief stuff is exactly what killed Radi’s mother.

‘Tis a vicious cycle, the cycle of Godhood.

I also think PK would be the Soul’s attempt at salvation. As such, PK’s power would be equal to Radi’s if not even stronger considering the rarity of Soul Magic. And beings like the Soul are literally built to create new life, hence why all those types of beings are called Creator Entities, which means any creature birthed by the Soul would be of very high magical capabilities.

In Soul Journey, Soul Magic is incredibly powerful and incredibly rare — like, rare to the point that people thought it didn’t even exist anymore — so beings made with the sheer power of Soul Magic are bound to be almost on the same level as the Ykka of Soul. Not on exactly the same level, but almost. That amount of power is more than enough for someone to be worshipped.

Sure, Dream Magic is powerful — the ability to have complete control over one’s mind, to achieve mental Godhood, is unlike any other. But to naturally wield Soul Magic is to have complete control over the very thing that keeps living beings alive. To have control over how someone feels and acts, when they die, when they’re born, what they truly are to begin with. That type of power is absolutely insane, and is to be both feared and worshipped.

That is why PK stole Radi’s spotlight. Being birthed by the Soul means unbelievable power.

And that’s why Radi was so destroyed. She was worshipped, she was loved, she was treated like what she was — a Goddess. But then, some random creature part of a near completely extinct species appeared out of seemingly nowhere and dragged her worshippers way from her, all because he was made by something more powerful than she could ever be.

She was jealous. She was grieving. She was enraged. She was destroyed. Her mental state was in pieces, as was her following.

All that glory, completely stripped from her, leaving her forgotten and alone like she was nothing.

It broke her.

And she lost her mind.

She lost her will.

She lost herself.

She lost everything, and with it, her life.

And suddenly I feel really bad for calling her a bitch.

*ahem*

Yeah, PK was definitely deserving of the worship he received. But Radi in no way, shape, or form deserved to be left in the way she was.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I do think I’ll go cry now

[transsexual-ghost]

ok i am now having coherent thoughts about the Guys:

so gow:r at its core is about fatherhood and learning to let go, even if it's gonna hurt like a son of a bitch. (to me, at least)

the scene where atreus tells kratos that he must find the remaining giants, alone, because he has to. because at his core, atreus is a victim of a genocide. (odin and thor had a vendetta, and as far as he knows, he and angrbroda are the only living giants left in midgard) he wants to connect with his culture, because he never really got that with his mother and the only other giant he knows is angrbroda, and they've only known each other for a short amount of time. not to mention that she's also fourteen and watched her parents and the people around her die until it was just her and her grandmother

and atreus is only fourteen, he's watched the end of the world nearly come to fruition, not to mention that he saw brok get killed by odin, posing as tyr. and atreus. atreus has to take this on because he has to.

and we saw that kratos at the beginning and for most of the game, he had accepted that he was going to die, so he pushed atreus. but he wasn't willing to let go of his son. so he refused atreus being the champion of the jotnar, because what if he lost another child to something that could be prevented?

and i am not going to go into kratos' guilt complex about his first family. (for now. might be a separate post or a tag ramble, who knows)

so when kratos, at the end of the game says, "Loki will go... Atreus shall stay." not only is it soul shattering and the emotional equivalent of a brick to the face, it highlights his growth as a character and a father and his reluctance to let go.

but he does. and yeah, it hurts. but atreus'll return.

and kratos and thor are two sides of the same coin. both of them had shitty fathers who insisted that they were destroyers. hell, even thor acknowledges that at their core, both he and kratos can very easily destroy things. they love their respective children to death, and are willing to kill for them. (even if thor didn't treat his sons well. like he beat the living shit out of modi because his brother was killed by a much older god who was stronger than him.) but kratos broke out of the cycle of sons killing their fathers. (or fathers killing their sons)

yeah, he killed zeus. but instead of hurting his son and restricting his growth, kratos encouraged that. and yeah, kratos wasn't the best with atreus in gow:2018, but he was fucking terrified that he would hurt atreus like he hurt calliope. but he didn't.

thor, unlike kratos, never got to break out of the cycle. from what we've seen, asgard had a "kill or be killed" culture. you couldn't afford to be soft and kind. you had to be a hardass, you had to hurt people. and odin cultivated that, to the point where it was his downfall.

from what we've seen, odin encouraged thor to be a violent and drunken monster.

"I think, you kill."

and then thor died, leaving behind a violent and bloody legacy for his only surviving child to unpack.

so at its core, god of war: ragnarok is about breaking the cycle and having good supports.

[weird-life-of-a-closet-fangirl]

Just finished watching the first ten episodes of Power Rangers Jungle Fury, here are my thoughts:

-Jarrod is initially a jerk. He's also extremely dedicated (been training for ten years) and extremely strong (beat his sparring partner very quickly) and extremely arrogant (bullies Casey and the other cub). I am very excited to see his redemption arc.

-Casey has literally been at the academy for a week. He's got enough raw power to make Jarrod flinch. We stan.

-Master Mao should have chosen one of the other finalists to be the third guardian after he kicked Jarrod out. I'm still not sure why he chose Casey but I like him so its fine.

-If Jarrod hadn't attacked Master Mao, Dai Shi's spirit wouldn't have escaped the box and possessed him. He brought that upon himself because he didn't know how to take the L.

-If this wasn't a kids show it would be a lot more gory and gruesome. Even with the morphing grid giving the rangers enhanced healing and strength and taking part of the damage they recieve in battle, the injuries they recieve while fighting would be pretty bad. Casey got slammed through multiple pillars and poisoned by scorpion venom. Theo fell off a skyscraper. They've all been caught in multiple explosions. Legally, they should be dead.

-Also, the amount of property damage being done by these evil monster attacks... I'm assuming they've got special insurance for that in this universe though, since the power rangers are a regular occurrence.

-Sometimes I remember that Theo and Lily trained with Jarrod for a very long time and get sad because they're fighting someone who used to be a friend. Like sure, Casey only knows the guy as a bully, so its probably not as rough on him, but for Lily and Theo, it can't have been easy to see their new friend go up against their old friend in battle.

-Also, I liked that they took an episode to talk about the rangers' insecurities and fears, with Casey still feeling like an outsider in their group, Lily being worried that her friends might die in the fight against Dai Shi, and Theo being worried that Casey's going to steal his best friend.

-I am THOROUGHLY invested in Camille and Dai Shi's relationship. It seems to me that they had some sort of relationship before his imprisonment (like we're talking super close, because she calls him by name instead of calling him my lord), and Camille is still hoping they could go back to how things were. Whatever relationship they had pre-canon, I doubt it was a good one, seeing how Camille is constantly trying to flatter him and appease him so she doesn't get destroyed.

-But- and this is my personal headcanon- I fully believe Dai Shi may have gone a little insane after being trapped in a box for ten thousand years. Camille also mentions hiding in a wall for ten thousand years but I feel like she might have gone out into the world every now and then. There's also the matter of Flit, who lives in her throat and refuses to shut up- he might have been good company during those ten thousand years that she was hiding. Anyway my point is that Camille managed to stay sane. Dai Shi probably didn't.

-The scene where Dai Shi suggests that Camille should risk being destroyed by the rangers in the process of becoming stronger because "if you truly want my admiration, my love, isn't that a chance you would take?" had me internally screaming, like oh my god this bitch??? And then when she kills Naja and takes his life talons and turns to Dai Shi for approval and he's just. Not there?? And then when she's talking to him later and he says "if you're waiting for a thank you, don't. Loyalty is something I expect." Anyway their relationship is looking a little one sided, and if it's not, Camille should totally dump him bc he sucks.

-Also something else I found interesting is that when Dai Shi brought Carnisoar back, Carnisoar was talking about how he's not at his full evil potential because there's still some good left in him. This, combined with the fact that Dai Shi refers to Jarrod's memories as his own, leads me to believe that Dai Shi is having a hard time differentiating himself from Jarrod since they're in the same body.

-Theo is just like me fr and I love him! His training with Master Swoop was just me him getting therapy for his anxiety.

-The little B plot in ep 9 with Casey teaching the kid about how the choices we make define our character and how they juxtaposed it with Carnisoar manipulating Jarrod's memories to erase every good and kind choice he ever made was a great storytelling move. I also liked the extra insight it gave us into Jarrod's character, because until then, I just thought he was a jerk, but he has a very strong moral code (which Carnisoar forces him to break, allowing Dai Shi to grow stronger as Jarrod's soul gets steeped in negativity)

-I'm very glad I decided to rewatch this because this is fun!

[hectordoylesmalewife]

FVCK IT, WE BALL

Merry Christmas @indietrashbaby!!! I hope you enjoy the fic! it was quite fun to write~ I hopw you enjoy it and like the cover picture I edited!! enjoy your feast~

-Flash back-

Chiharu POV:

I don't exactly remember how or when we wound up like this- however it started after That brat one championship in the tournament ring..After My match with Baki and watched him practically use his own destroyed body as a weapon and kick my own ass. He must have been in agony— yet he still beat my ass coming out as the fuckin victor in the very end..

“fuck..Fu–ack!” a scarred hand gripped at Chiharu's throat pinning down his trachea with his thumb before feeling himself get thrusted into violently. “Motherfuck!!!!” hot scorching pain searing up his spine as a hand pinned over his eyes blinding him of any source of vision of what the Hanma above him will do next…

There was a slight fear that crept behind Chiharus head- however it was brushed off as he felt another thrust bury deep into him, letting out a grunted gasp as he felt teeth from the sand dig into his back like acupuncture needles triggering arousal. The blonde gangster couldn't help but let out a deep moan as His cock began seeping with pre cum from Baki’s thrusting at an agonizing pace. His teasing cock inside him struck a trigger point that went deeper than any of his own fingers could reach that sent sharp waves of ecstasy into his cock. “Shitty brat! Quit fuckin teasin’ and show me what yer made of…” Chiharu choked out.

 Baki chuckled, leaning down and whispering in a low darkened tone.

“You bitch as much as you did when I kicked your ass.. shut the fuck up for once.”  Chiharu’s face was shoved down as he felt relentless thrusts pound into his ass. Chiharu gasps moaning out a raw curse digging his nails into the sand. 

Oh..fuck.. 

___flashback over__

Months later…

Why am I doing this? Oh. yes because I have a sick obsession with Baki’s strength.  So, now here I am–  the vandalism practically went down the street; leading up to what you would call a house.   Chiharuront of a shitty little shack that definitely belongs to Baki… it's obvious with the graffitied hateful words as stood outside his door and breathed with adrenaline going through his veins hopping up and down before finally pummeling in the door right as that damn brat opened it, causing him to roll crashing into the wall in a violent bang. 

“ Ow—Motherfuckerrrr! Damn Brat!!”  Chiharu growled under his breath and charged forward into the now much stronger and more intimidating Baki and laughed as he threw a punch into the boy's face and watched him fly and tumble down his own street. 

What the hell is he up to? He has been standing there and pacing around coming by every day for almost 3 weeks just to loiter until sunset and leave. It was a matter of time before He knew the blonde was going to do something and He was right; He felt a sudden shift in the air and heard a shuffling outside before he opened the door right as The thug made a what looked to be a failed attempt at an air kick to his face only to tumble into his table and slam against the wall.. 

Before  Baki could even make an attempt to stand and defend himself the Gangster was charging towards him striking him square in the face with full force. The force was enough to make him fly and go quite an impressive distance before he slammed flat against a wall causing cracks to begin to form along the bricks. Oxygen got pushed out from his lungs as he collapsed face forward lurching in pain. He choked and struggled to breath before he managed to sit himself up and take a slow shallow breath in.  “Y’know….Normal people just knock…. Or are you just here for round three?”  

As Chiharu stalked towards him and kneeled down he grinned and practically laughed. “I’m not normal, thought you knew that-'' Chiharu was cut off with searing pain that blinded him as Baki gauged his fingertips into his eye sockets before kicking him in the ribs that sent him flying back into Baki’s front yard hearing several cracks. Burning pain radiated throughout his chest as it  drove into his lungs, as he attempted to take slow cautious raspy breaths Chiharu could only feel sharp scalding pain burn throughout his chest. The gangster lifted his head in a blurry haze and within a blink of an eye Baki was above him, and yanked his hair back with violent strength twisting the blond locks in a balled veined fist. Baki’s brown eyes had a cold, threatening glare that pierced straight down to Chiharu's dick- despite the pain throughout his body.  Chiharu let out a hiss gritting his teeth and holding back a pained cry. His scalp was rather sensitive surprisingly and the pain caused arousal to radiate down into his groin as he locked his amber eyes with the intense glare that reminded Chiharu of a beast… 

“You fuckin getting off on this? Are you serious?” Baki mocked with a smirk tugging at his lips as he twisted his hand into the golden locks that seemed to be sensitive , yanking Chiharu’s head back with a demanding tone as he stepped on the clothed erection that was throbbing underneath the tacky purple pants.  “You really are a freak..” Chiharu gritted his teeth at those words yet as he tried to suppress his anger- the feelings of arousal snuffed it. He wouldn't deny it, he was a freak? Why else would he put himself in this position? 

“Hey You taking a fucking nap? You came into my house and now you're going to shit out on me now? Are You kidding me?” Baki’s tone was daunting and low, He didn't sound like that brat  that screwed him in the ring- no  He sounded like he wasnt here to fuck around and play games with more experience. Chiharu opened his mouth to bite back but was greeted with fingers being shoved knuckles deep down his throat curling his fingers. Baki leaned down to whisper into Chiharu's ear in a low husky tone. “Or maybe you need to get reminded of who you're dealing with…” Chiharu glared, spitting out a curse grinning with the fingers in his mouth. He slid his tongue around the scarred calloused digits sliding his tongue between each finger tasting his salty skin.  Baki letting out a hum of approval took his cock out and removed his fingers from the man's mouth and grabbed the back of his head to shove his face down his throbbing cock. To Chiharu’s surprise, Baki was more entertained by this man who had been taunting and lurking around like a pesky bug.. It's been some time since he's been entertained with a constant fight. Since becoming champion and winning the tournament no one would spar with him. No one would even try out of fear or their own weakness– But Chiharu, He just came in like a rat ready to play this game of cat and mouse.   groaned at the wet heat that enveloped his cock as he looked down at the glaring man on his knees with his dick down his throat. He grunted softly, yanking his head back slightly, grabbing the sunny locks twisting his fist thrusting his hips down into Chiaharu’s mouth till he felt the head of his thick slender cock touch the back of his throat. 

Chiharu gagged and choked but took the length as he felt the hands grab the back of his head, shoving him down to the base. His nose met Baki’s hips and instead of the Brat being skilled and coordinated he thrusted with vigorous incoordination, shoving him down deep to the base. His strained breathing turned into grunting chokes as He squeezed his eyes shut feeling the girthy shaft stuff his throat limiting his breathing. He tried to pull away to breath but was pushed further down forcibly. He choked out a grunting snort as he fought back the tears that spilled from his gag reflex being prodded with ungraceful thrusts. Chiharu attempted to move back against Baki’s thrusting hips and hands only to be greeted with vigorous violent thrusts that choked him. He couldn't breath and he felt his vision become tunneled– He attempted to break away again from Baki’s assaulting thrusts however that only dug his grave as he felt Baki’s hands gripped both sides of his skull with both hands and begin violently thrusting his hips in fast pistoning thrusts. 

He felt himself at the brink of passing out as he gagged and fought the urge to vomit as his gag reflex was being repeatedly pounded relentlessly. He heard Baki’s labored ragged breaths that made him embarrassingly hard, his cock now straining against his pants as he finally brought his hands to smack Baki’s thighs harshly, beating his fists aggressively. His head was pulled off the meaty rod that was just down his throat nearly balls deep with a wet pop, a strand of saliva connecting his lips as Baki’s cock was glossy and slickened with pre cum and spit. He took a deep breath as his flushed face regained its color, he coughed gasping about to spit but felt a sharp slap across the face..

There is no love, there is no passion- all strictly pent up tension from being pounded into submission and built up frustration. A rivalry with no boundaries

“You must be used to sucking off Hanayama because you're better than a whore…” Baki huffed out in a rugged moan that made Chiharu’s gut flip to the core- making waves of arousal to radiate and coil in his pants. He was so hard, his cock throbbed straining against his pants. All while they were in the front yard of Baki’s house in the middle of the day anyone could walk and see.. The thought alone made Chiharu harder.  Baki huffed and grunted as he felt Chiharu’s wet hod mouth encase his cock surprisingly opening his jaw to avoid his teeth scraping along his shaft. He grinned as he brought his hands to place on both sides of Chiharu's head and began thrusting with shallow forceful thrusts moaning out a growling sigh as he began to thrust his hips faster yanking the blonde locks and tangling his fingers into his roped headband using it like a reign to shove his head down his throat with force. He held back a moan and  closed his eyes to focus on the pleasure ignoring the hands batting on his thighs and hips. Chiharu’s struggling only made his cock throb harder and twitch, making his actions to be even more relentless. He smirked listening to the Chiharu gag on his dick struggling to breathe with each thrust of him enjoying the sense of power and control that washed over his brain.  He thrusted his hips in uncoordinated pistoning pumps, carelessly making the other gag and choke forcing his head down deeper on his shaft. He growls grunting a cursed sigh as he feels Chiharu’s desperate smacks turn into punching before he pulls him off his cock. He held back the urge to laugh as he saw Chiharu’s debauched face with precum and saliva dripping down his chin. 

 He stares down at the other with a blank expression arching a brow as he watches Chiharu cough and breath. He waits for him to regain his breath before speaking in an almost tired bored tone, like he had better things to be doing today.. “You done princess or am I going to need to spoon feed you my cock.”  

If it wasn't the fact that Chiharu was desperately aroused by the strength of Baki and completely utterly enamored by the idea of being overpowered, the other was some type of sick twisted fantasy. After the tournament and when he was fucked until he was bloodied from friction of the sand and teeth digging into his skin as it left permanent indentations and punctured scars in his back. Since then he had constantly been thinking of the Hanma’s strength and how he wants to feel his full strength, or at least a sliver of a taste of what his full strength could be. 

Baki’s voice and tone was firm and direct and heavy with lust. His zero patience added a sharp intimidating threat to his tone and it made the younger man seem menacing.  Chiharu looked up and his eyes met with a cold gaze locked down into his gaze as a sliver of a red glint shone behind Baki’s darkened stare. His cock throbbed and felt his ass twitched at the memory of how the other stretched him and fucked him until he was raw and could barely stand and walk for days…and to think that wasnt even his full force. Chiharu suddenly gasped as he felt strong hands yank his face forward and into the throbbing length that was pulsing red hot with arousal and was smacked across the face with Baki’s Dick as the younger laughed pitifully at him all while holding a bored expression.  He felt an angry pulse causing him to scowl and go straight to work, going down on Baki’s cock swirling his tongue around his head and deepthroating it with ease, enjoying the stinging behind his throat as his length stretched his jaw open.  He listened to how Baki’s breath hitched and growled in the back of his throat, he could tell he was fighting back the urge to moan-  he had to be enjoying 

“You should learn shadow boxing and visualize me so you learn how to suck my dick better…” Baki sighed bored as he gave a pouty frown while simultaneously driving his head down his cock and  thrusting his hips with vigor grunting and panting as he yanked the blondes hair fisting his fingers in his scalp and began face fucking Chiharu relentlessly as he brought a foot down between the mans spread legs and began pressing his foot against the throbbing length. He listened to the other make a struggling muffling choked out moan Chiharu felt his erection being pressed down on by the young man's heel; humility and embarrassment caused blood to rush to his ears and straight down to his aching balls. Chiharu let out a moan as he humped into Baki’s foot pathetically as he struggled to get more pressure and friction on his cock. He wasnt about to ask for  shit- he knew the dynamic from the very moment Baki fucked him in the ring that He takes what Baki gives him and dont say thanks.  No strings attached just a simple fuck of who is superior.. Is it masochistic? Is it mental? Yes. Chiharu felt Baki’s cock throb and twitch, it felt as if it grew larger- He was going to cum soon.. He could taste the saltiness of his cum begin to drip from the head of his cock, hear his breath become lower and more rugged. He felt Baki twitch under him and yank his golden locks shoving him down deep on his cock so his chin was against his balls. He emptied himself all down Chiharu’s throat in a low grunting hum. He was quiet when he came, not making more than a grunting growl. He felt Baki’s cock spasm and twitch as his orgasm waved over, cum shooting into the back of his throat in thick spurting ropes. 

Baki looked down at Chiharu who was poorly lickinghis dick and suckling it like a pathetic whore trying to please their master and it could bore him to the point of flacid. to not lose his interest, the Younger man  grabbed the blondes head and shoved him deep down his length relentlessly thrusting. He panted quietly and bit his tongue cringing slightly every time he felt teeth scrape against his shaft.  “You should learn shadow boxing and visualize me so you know how to suck my fucking dick better…” Baki let out a bored sigh before giving a pouty frown as he violently pistoned his hips; not caring whether he bruised or dislocated Chiharu’s jaw. Baki let out labored grunts as he breathed heavily through his nose, as he closed his eyes and began feeling himself grow closer to orgasm from Chiba’s surprisingly shitty head.  

He tangled and fisted his fingers through the yellow locks and began forcing his head down harder and faster while thrusting his hips leaning down to press a foot against Chiharu's erection and teasingly dug his heel into the shaft and his heavy aching balls. He smirked as Chiharu desperately let out a low moan from his chest as his cock was tortured by his foot. He was a pathetic sight to see and it fueled arousal and stroked Baki’s ego a bit.. Stroking his pride he didn't realize he had..“ Fuckin swallow it. Be grateful you even get to taste my bloodline..” Baki huffed out under his breath in a low rugged growl as he felt a primal lust fog his brain. He was speaking out of instinct, and this thug wasn't even the slightest bit worthy to even take his load. He had more self respect for himself and Chiharu hasn't even proven himself the slightest bit of worthiness.

Thick ropes of cum shot into the back of Chiharu’s throat, its salty tanginess mixed with a bitter metallic taste filled his entire mouth. The texture and taste made it incredibly difficult for The older man to swallow the slimy milky fluids; Chiharu’s eyes watered while contouring his face grunting as he was forced down taking all of his cum- reluctantly swallowing every drop while fighting the urge to gag.  He let out a snorting grunt coughing against the pulsing cock that was shoved down till his chin was pressed up against Baki’s heavy balls. They twitched and tensed as his load continued to dump down Chiharu’s throat, His cum shooting out what felt endless. As Baki spent his cock dumping every bit of his load he pulled his cock out from the older mans mouth and grabbed the purple jacket ripping off the sleeve to wipe himself down before throwing the ripped garb down at chiharu’s feet stuffing his dick back into his pants before walking back into his house.  Before he slammed the door he looked back at Chiharu who was pathetically still hard and aching- Baki smirked and barked back at the thug. “Have some dignity. Get up and fix yourself in a bathroom before you pass by a school.” With that a door was slammed in Chiharu’s face.

A normal headed person would be insulted, disgusted and even turned off but Chiharu was far from normal. “You should learn shadow boxing and visualize me so you learn how to suck my dick better…”  Baki’s words went straight to Chiharu’s dick. Before even having a chance to think or retort his braided headband was yanked like a lasso as he was shoved down Bakis dick. His jaw was aching and sore as saliva began to pool down his chin. Baki’s demanding tone and lazy expression made him all the more turned on..As He felt strong hands yank his blonde locks and began to thrust violently without any signs of letting up. Chiharu Gagged and grunted as tears began to pour down from the stretch of the relentless thrusts that practically pounded. He closed his eyes reveling in the sensation of the thick rod in his mouth– the fleshy skin that was soft and smooth. His aching cock throbbed everytime Baki’s hips thrusted harshly against the back of his gag reflex. Everytime The girthy shaft pulsed Chiharu gagged and fought the urge to puke from the constant hitting of the back of the throat. This far from was something he didn't want. To pass up an opportunity to be utterly skull fucked beyond comprehension by The Baki Hanma? Fuck, I dont need to breath. The consideration of learning shadow boxing to learn how to suck The other’s dick wasn't a bad idea… He could perhaps consider that…  

The foot on his cock brought Chiharu back from his lusted haze and moaned on the cock in his mouth. As hips pulled back he took a moment to breathe before the violent hips began once more. The pistoning movements became more erratic and it was becoming harder to fight back gagging. Suddenly, without warning cum shot into the back of his throat in thick large ropes. Baki’s grunting moan as he finished what felt endless shoved him deep onto his cock. ”Fuckin swallow it. Be grateful you even get to taste my bloodline..” and swallow he did- every drop. The seconds after Chiharu watched the younger man rip his sleeve off  and wipe himself down before slamming the door in his face, it was enough to make him finish in his pants alone. How the other had such a sweet face with large eyes that reminded him of a puppy that could change into a beast in a single breath, it all made Chiharu swell in his groin. He smirked, picking himself up before walking off into a nearby bathroom to do exactly what the other said.

[gonegirl1996]

My personal observation on how shame goes from being an emotion to becoming a part of my identity and being maintained as such:

A few days ago I discovered the results of my blood test. It said I had high testosterone, high LDL, low co2, and a weird blood count. Initially, I’m upset and I go to tell my mother because she is my mother and I am her child needing validation and comfort. Despite the results a part of me is hopeful that I’ll be able to reduce my levels holistically so I go to my mother in a hopeful state dropping the news of my blood test.

Then I don’t know what I did but somehow that triggered a switch on her where she took my problem and let it trigger her and started bashing on her husband and his family and saying my father is bitch you probably got that from him and his sister acts like a dominating male…and he’s the bitch. And said your bloodline is so bad. They destroyed my life. You inherit every bad thing from them(she drew both mental and physical connections to this one). It’s your fault tho but you always do this you always do that. Why aren’t you like other Bengali kids? Why can’t you change your dad? And she started trauma dumping on me and at the same time said she was unfortunate because she birthed children who weren’t born clever like my cousins or the other kids in the Bengali community. She started dumping her issues on me Simply because my physical problems reminded of her own issues.

And went on about how everyone did her wrong. Her husband did her wrong. His sister did her wrong. And blah blah blah. How the world did her wrong cuz she’s stuck in a shit marriage and gave birth to defective children.

She failed to recognize my problem as my problem and how it’s affecting me and instead she got triggered and connected it to her own issues. Now where does that leave me? Feeling more alienated? Feeling like my problems doesn’t mean anything and that I should apologize and comfort my mother because my physical problems reminded her of her husband and her failed (yet not-divorced) marriage. Should I apologize Because my problems reminded her that the world did her wrong?

And the issue with what my mother did is that this will eventually strip you out of your humanity. It will rob you from being integrated with yourself and the world around you.

Anyways. I am not upset. I mean not anymore because any human would rightfully be upset if their caretaker was speaking to them like that.

In moments like this I’m so glad to have develop a strong sense of self (better late than never) and found computer science, Islam, a trusting friend-group, a good relationship with my sibling and a stronger relationship with myself. I’m super thankful.

[seikotakai]

Thoughts on Tekken 8 demo (so far)

>I'm enjoying it so far. I already got that warrior rank by destroying everyone with my boy Jin Kazama. Also I am so glad Bandai Namco finally added vs CPU as an option (which they should've done years ago smh, but better now than never I guess). I always spent most of my time playing Soul Calibur 6 just playing as my favorite characters or customizations in the vs CPU mode. The vs CPU really does add replay value to the game (playing as your favorite characters, wanting to see your favorite characters's special intros with the other characters in the roster which is epic). Glad they're bringing back Tekken Ball as well. Oh maybe some more single player content would be great too (like idk bring back survival mode, time attack, or team battle).

>Still hoping Tekken 6 gets retconned (ex. jin got brainwashed by azazel like how nina got brainwashed by shrek in tekken 3) and Kazuya does not fucking die.（πーπ）

>I'm actually so happy Kazuya defeated Jin in the first chapter. Sure eventually of course at the end of the game Jin Kazama will get stronger and beat him in a rematch. But like...after watching every single mortal kombat villain (except Shao Kahn, Shang Tsung, and the bug bitch who killed Mileena) being pathetic jokes who get their asses kicked every 5 seconds. It's refreshing to me seeing Kazuya finally be a threat instead of being like Team Rocket or FANG from Street Fighter V's story mode. *shudders* (oh and also people on youtube comments won't complain about "jIn AlWaYs WiNs" because he lost to kaz here and he also lost to both hwoarang and miguel).

>can't put kazuya in the cute little flower booba shirt because no customization in demo. ( ╥ω╥ ) on the bright side, the main menu literally lets you stare at kazuya's sexy tits and sexy dilf body in general in multiple directions. beautiful.

>the arcade quest was neat too, at least the avatar characters are kind of cute (they are not ugly and shit as the stupid fucking Sportsmates from Nintendo Switch Sports who tried to replace the miis). I had fun kicking everyone's asses and I cheered when Kazuya won that tournament and kicked someone's ass.

>Jin's special intros with some characters like Xiaoyu are cute. Too bad you cannot fight Hwoarang in the demo so you cannot get his and Asuka has no special intro with him for some stupid reason.

>there's also some hope that maybe some of the side characters will be relevant in this game and get to shine (keyword maybe...knowing every game since tekken 6, they will probably drop the ball). it was neat seeing everyone joining the tournament in the intro chapter including lili, paul, and steve. i mean in tekken bloodline king gets to do some cool shit and paul was not a joke that time.

>Fighting and almost losing to Panda made me more upset Anna is not in this game come on now. I know Bandai Namco obviously lowkey hates Bruce Irvin because they replaced him twice now. First he was replaced by Bryan in Tekken 3 (don't worry Bryan ily problematic babygirl) and then Josie in Tekken 7. But man, why can't either of Kazuya's bodyguards be in this game or Tekken 7 at launch (although to be fair, Eddy is not in Tekken 8 either so). Fucking make Kuma an alternate costume of Panda, then BRING BACK ANNA! We gotta have both Nina and Anna, man! At least Kazuya still has the greedy coffee CEO lady Azucena by his side tho. She knows Kazuya will make her coffee sell more $$$ and Kazuya looks hot.

>So you can make your own ghost data now or something...okay.

>I adore the voice acting in this game so far, especially Isshin Chiba's amazing work as Jin Kazama as usual. I love listening to his voice, it's so badass and yet it's also a quality asmr voice. Masanori Shinohara also does wonders as Kazuya Mishima.

Still not too sure whether to buy this game or not (yet)...but I'm a little more optimistic now.

[shera-dnd]

Fuck it I'm gonna write a self indulgent DRK WoL x Yotsuyu drabble, because I can't get that sad bitch out of my head!

*ahem*

Swords clattered to the ground, one light, one dark. Tsukuyomi's form lost focus as the aether that comprised her began to wane, leaving behind only the form of Yotsuyu.

"No," she croaked, trying to cling to the fading form of her primal incarnation, "no!"

She felt the darkness approach her, the imposing presence fueled by untold suffering and hate. It was almost bitterly amusing to see the Warrior of Light, cloaked in the very thing she was sworn to destroy.

"Are you well?" the shape in the dark asked, her damned voice coated in the same worry and care she had used for "Tsuyu"

"Save your worry," Yotsuyu spat, dragging herself away from the other woman, "I'm not that poor pathetic thing you so loved to coddle."

The Warrior of Light seemed undeterred. She closed the gap between her and Yotsuyu and began to examine her up close.

"Your aether is fading fast," she stated, looking unflinchingly into Yotsuyu's eyes, "I'll give you some of mine. It should keep you stable until Alphinaud arrives."

She reached out with one hand, but Yotsuyu was quick to slap it away.

"Didn't you hear me?" Yotsuyu shouted, shoving off her would be savior, "I am not Tsuyu!"

"I don't care!" the Warrior of Light shouted back, grabbing Yotsuyu's hand, "you're hurting! You've been hurting your entire life, and I'm not letting this go a moment longer! So let me help you!"

That shocked her. It wasn't like Yotsuyu was physically capable of stopping her in this state, but that declaration left her too stunned to even try.

When the Warrior laced their fingers together she didn't stop her, simply accepting the gesture as what felt like a tidal wave of aether washed over her.

They sat there in silence for a while, simply allowing the aether to flow between them, slowly stabilizing Yotsuyu's strange new form. Though there was still something bothering her, something that kept her from meeting the Warrior of Light's gaze.

"Not enough," she spoke.

"What?"

"I didn't suffer enough," Yotsuyu stated, "even after everything that happened my pain and spite still couldn't hold a candle to yours."

What else could this be? The darkness they both drew on was so much stronger in the Warrior's heart. How else could she gain such power if not through unspeakable pain?

"Do you really believe that?" she asked, her presence growing unbearably close to Yotsuyu's, "that this is all about hate and spite?"

As Tsuyu she had yearned for this closeness. Gosetsu had been a father to her, but the Warrior... she had been a friend, her first real friend, and maybe... maybe even more than that.

Now it felt overwhelming, like the Warrior's presence would consume her entirely.

And once more she felt the need to step away, pulling her hand away from her savior's.

"What else could fuel you so?" Yotsuyu asked, arms crossing defensively.

But the Warrior of Light was undeterred. If Tsukuyomi's might could not push her away, then Yotsuyu's feeble attempts were doomed to fail.

The Warrior of Light cupped Yotsuyu's cheek and turned her face so they'd be looking each other eye to eye.

"Love, Yotsuyu," she declared without hesitation, "the darkness in our hearts, it feeds on Love."

~~~~

Yeah that's all I got. That was like all a stream of consciousness I had just as I woke up, because this woman has apparently caused irreversible damage to my brain chemistry.

Also I'm not editing this, because I guess that's kinda the point of drabbles, so uh now I guess you guys know why I need @greyvs to look over my things constantly

[rickgrimesdoingrickthings]

"I'll kill them for doing this to you."

That cursed group- the gang who had been Vega's swore enemy since the streets...-Clashing over and over again as if they were destined to be, for some time, Vega had peace in her community, found time to grow and build something instead of living out of plundering and scavenging alone. She had tried to focus on the good things, building instead of destroying, saving instead of killing- what allowed Rick and Carl to survive and be part of her community. The bonds between them had grown stronger. Their hearts...they knew what they felt, but they were to coward to confess to each other- two introverts, broken by the past mistakes, so hurt by the world, who tried to show only a hard shell, hide their weaknesses while seeking for the things that made them happy. Shiro, Fox, Vega, Carl, Rick. The had become a family. As the community begun to prosper and they finally had more time for themselves, things just felt different. Even though Vega and Rick wouldn't say a thing, them both knew, everyone knew that at some point, they would end up together. The way they cared for each other, they way they understood each other- it was just a matter of who would awaken bravery first so they actually became a thing. The glances, the gifts they would bring each other, it was so obvious. Obvious also for the enemy.

After massacring many smaller communities, there would be a day when Vega and her nemesis would meet again She knew, but would always be quiet about it, hoping the day would never arrive. But it did. One of her group had betrayed and sold info to that bloodthirsty gang in exchange of a position of power. It all happened when Vega and her main formation had left to clear the area that would be their first outpost. They broke into her community, but they didn't want to kill and abuse the survivors, no, not just that at least- they wanted full submission. Vega had Rick be one of her lieutenants, and once she had left with Shiro and her most trusted war partners, he was left in charge- just what the enemy was waiting for.

They attacked with grenades, they were heavily armed- Rick quickly organized a quick defense and managed to take out many of the barbarians, however, their surprise and superior fire power won, and the community decided to surrender to avoid extermination. 'That emo bitch, I will make sure she reads my letter, and I am sure she WILL agree to lower her head and work for me- she will have all of you work for me.' The gang leader had a devious smirk on his face as he made his speech, the survivors frozen, surrendered, still under the aim of enemy guns. 'Rick....right? I heard a lot about you. How you became so special to her. Some say she was even smiling, can you believe that? I never saw Vega smile, you my man, must be someone SPECIAL. You really helped this place grow once you showed up, didn't you? The community you came from sure must have been ahead- I wish it was still standing so we could also have them work for us. Too bad though, we can't have everything, can we?' The enemy leader kept a smirk, despite his eyes being full of anger and blood thirst. 'You will be the example, Rick. I know you're precious to her and most people here admire you lots. He chuckled, then had his men put Rick on his knees.

'Everyone who is here, ready to watch our little show, you better record this deep down in your minds, so you will know what will happen to any asshole who tried to rebel against us. If you have bad memory then use some camera, cause whoever forgets the lesson...will get what our cowboy here will get, for resisting against my humble visit. You all should thank us, because this time, and if you behave, we won't kill or rape or torture you- see how I'm generous? We just want you to work for us. Just that. Well, except for you Rick. I will wrap you for present and I don't want anyone else taking him from the spot I will leave him for beloved emo punk rock Vega to see.'

When Vega arrived, the enemy had already left for quite some time. There were clear signs of attack on the walls of the place she called home. Only some fighters who had resisted had been shot, but none had died. The people were crying, most frozen in place in shock, others shaking in anger, but everyone was right there, where they were forced to stand. Even though the enemy had already left. Rick was on the floor, stripped, bleeding, full of marks of abuse- his back, whipped by some leather belt, his lips busted, dirty with the remains of what the boss had forced him to swallow and choke on, his pale skin bruised for being rolled over many times, blood between his legs, some of the nails of his left hand had been stabbed underneath, bleeding, one of his nipples too had been pressed until it bled, and the most horrendous- his right arm- it was on the floor, a few meters away from him- a belt was tight around what remained on his arm, some centimeters ahead of his elbow, containing most of the bleeding so he didn't die. The sheriff was pale, shaking in pain, due to so many kicks and punches and all the rest at least three men had done to him. He was broken. He had been through all that with only anger and a fierce spirit in his eyes, but having his arm being chopped off so brutally, the pain was too intense for him to keep showing strength, and the abuses he suffered after that in front of all the survivors, in front of his son, the shame, the humiliation, that finished breaking him. He just wanted to die. But his heart was still beating.

When he saw Vega, his eyes filled with tears for the first time that day. He was relieved yet...feeling so much shame. "I couldn't....couldn't....I couldn't stop them.' His voice held so much suffering. He couldn't even look at her in the face. Slowly his consciousness was fading away, the pain...the cold he was feeling...and he also felt so dirty. He pressed his forehead against the floor, crying. The last thing he heard was her voice, swearing for revenge. He hoped so. He really hoped she did it, and not just for his sake. The fact she showed anger for what they had done to him, that comforted Rick a bit, even thought with an arm chopped off he imagined he would just be a burden for her.

@sxbaist

[burning-sol]

Okay so while looking through posts I could only find one about Albatrio vs God Slayers? Which I'm sure I had another around here somewhere but what the hell, who's keeping score?

So where to start. Well when I initially thought about it, it was back in like SEPTEMBER so this has been in the back of my mind for a while. The Albatrio have certainly become a lot stronger than then, so I'm not sure if it still applies when I say that the Albatrio are the underdogs in the fight... But that was a part of the idea back then and a part of WHY it was so compelling to me. Our goofy little pirates were fighting against LITERAL god slayers featuring: a machine built to kill said gods; someone presenting as a perfect person with charisma and a sword that collects the dead god's power to boot; and an ACTUAL celestial being. They were outclassed.

And I'd always thought of the matchup as being Chip vs Rumi, Gillion vs Thanatos, and Jay vs Peter/Exandroth to emphasise their roles in each team and how the Albatrio fell short. I mean in combat, I think I've made my point about the Albatrio being outclassed... But particularly I am enthralled in the idea of Chip and Rumi fighting. Because Chip is NOT a leader, right? The first chance he got, Chip tried to defer his leadership. RUMI was successfully upstarting a religion (cult) and had a charisma that RIVALLED the god of charisma. Rumi appears fucking perfect at any given moment - and if that didn't make apparent the difference between each group then I dunno what would.

But also, the God Slayers don't exactly get along?? You could feel the lack of cohesion for a good goddamn portion of their journey. I'd LOVE the fight to end with the Albatrio coming out on top simply because their chemistry is far better than that of the God Slayers, and they're able to coordinate an effective plan. Power of friendship y'all!!! Respect it.

So yeah we have powerful bad guys vs underdog good guys I love that shit.

Other notes I will write down! In dot points! Try to keep up.

Despite Rumi appearing better put together, they are actually like hiding a lot about themselves?? Obviously. They have that in common with Chip. Trying to pretend they're well put together.

Back when Jay's character had an emphasis on her bow and fire, Exandroth seemed like a good matchup considering its own flaming motif. But actually, with Jay moving away from that it's REALLY scary for her to be facing up against someone so firey.

^^^ The above note was taking into consideration my aforementioned matchup. BUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAS FIRE AND IS BIG AND SCARY AND MAYBE REMINISCENT OF HER FATHER..... Jay and Thanatos, let's bring that trauma to light guys.

Gillion is chosen by the gods and Thanatos is a god slayer. Probably the most obviously good guy vs bad guy of the bunch. THEY'RE LITERALLY BLUE/GREEN VS RED??? *calling out to the distance* You seeing this shit????

Let's have Rumi and Gillion talk about destiny.

Let's have Rumi and Gillion not talk and instead pit an elegant af bitch against a fish out to destroy!!! We love the contrast of fighting styles. ALSO LIGHTNING??? THUNDER???

Chip and Exandroth have comedic potential for sure. Let the pathetic man run about while being chased by a hell creature, this will work out great!!!

Or you know just have Peter and Chip talk. They're both literally just sad guys with sad lives.

Also let Peter and Jay talk! As the least insane out of their teams, they are entitled to ten minutes of convo between each other.

Exandroth and Jay are women... The girlies hanging out...

Back to bullying Chip, make him fight Thanatos. He is going to piss himself.

Rumi and Jay are VERY talkative. Their fight would leave you in god damn awe and their dialogue would actually be so thoughtful. I can barely imagine what they'd talk about, but I know it'd be good shit!!!

Actually have Jay stop and inspect Thanatos and talk about how he was made. Have Exandroth join in. They're discussing how the robot got made. Like in terms of engineering.

GILLION AND EXANDROTH FIGHT AND DESTROY LITERALLY EVERYTHING AS THEY TRY TO PURGE. PURGE AND SMITE AND PURGE AND PURGE AND RID THE EVIL FROM THE WORLD AND BRING RETRIBUTION AND oh shit dude we actually have so much in common. This is awkward. Do we like continue to be homicidal maniacs or do we stop and vibe?

Omg Lizard and Pretzel could duke it out???? YES!!

MOON BEAST. MOON BEAST. Thanatos and Exandroth hype up the Moon Beast. Chip and Gillion "MOON BEAST!!!" until they start getting chewed. Gillion Tidestrider chosen by the moon is not happy with this.

This is all I can think to dump at the moment but hopefully by now you can see how much I want Albatrio vs God Slayers to be a thing!!!

[multiple-fandom-3010]

Rewatching NINJAGO season 5 (episode 9 - 10)

SKYLOR!!!

MORRO!!!

OH FUCK

Hearing Morro’s brazilian voice better, it doesn’t fit him that much

WTF

FOUR ARMS, JAY?!?

BORG?!?

Cole getting depressed, and Jay is smaller lol

OH FUCK YES!!

That was a horrible joke, Jay

I FORGOT THAT COLE CANONIC LIKES MUSIC

Llyod is happy that he’s alive, Borg

What

WHAT?!? HIS MASTER?!?

WHY IS NYA MOANING?!?

Thanks Zane

THANKS LLYOD THANKS KAI

HOW CAN GHOSTS EAT?!?

WHERES MORRO?!?

Oh there he is

Did the sword turned into a Ghost Sword?

WHAT

WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING

MORRO HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR “DAD”?!?!?

Are this ghosts stupids?

They destroyed Ronin’s shop again

GO NYA GO!!

GHOSTBUSTERS AGAIN

Why are they so calm

YEAH!! COLE’S POSSESION POWER LET’S GO!!!

THERE’S AN FUCKING GHOST DRAGON

ARE YOU GUYS DUMB?!? YOU LITERALLY POSSESED LLYOD, MORRO!!!

YOUR HOME?!?

What

YEAH!!! GO NYA GO!!!

what

Llyod is so cute in this clothe-

WIND VS WATER

WU’S DRAGON AGAIN

YEAH JAY!!!

I feel so sorry for Kai, he doesn’t have cool robots or vehicles

The fuck Morro’s doing

GO KAI GO!!

WIND VS WATER AGAIN YEAH!!

NYA C’MON!!

YEAH LLYOD THANKS

NOW IT’S COUSIN VS COUSIN!!!

OH FUCK THIS IS AWESOME

Morro do you have stupidity?

YEAH LLYOD!!

NOOOO

YEAH RONIN!!!! WAIT THE FUCK YOU DOING WITH THE MONEY

THE MONEY YOU IDIOT

THE CRYSTAL!!

Morou (I can’t, it sounds so stupid)

MORRO HOW COULD YOU

OH FUCK NO

NO LLYOD NO!!!

Wait, he’s going to see his dad right?

So okay

THE PREEMINENT!!!

Why the fuck this thing looks like a asshole

MISAKO DO YOU HAVE STUPIDITY

And he’s right, Morro

HE DIDN’T, YOU DID

Why the fuck Preeminent looks like she’s vomiting the ghosts?

OH FUCK MISAKO AND WU AGAIN SERIOUSLY

COLE?!? COLE?!? COLE COME BACK

OH HE’S THERE!!

LLYOD!!

Chen!!! Clouse :/

SENSEI GARMADON!!!!!!!!! I’m crying-

HE ISN’T THE GREEN NINJA!!

GO GARMADON GO!!! THANKS FOR TELLING HIM THIS EVEN IF HE FORGETS IT IN SEASON 9

I’m crying. Garmadon: “I will always be with you, son”

WHY DIDN’T THEY BRING SENSEI GARMADON BACK?!?

Well, wind is stronger then fire-

WHY IS LLYOD WITH GARMADON’S CLOTHES?!?…. DID HE?!? OH FUCK

I actually finds cool that a kid who was aged up by a magic tea is more inteligent then a bunch of Ninjas that trained for a long time to become an Ninja, and they even choose the kid as a leader (well, it’s a good choice)

COUSIN VS COUSIN AGAIN YESS

NOW THE AIRJITZUS ARE COLORED

Okay, Preeminent is so fucking horrific

WHAT THE FUCK, SPIDERS?!

OKAY THIS IS HORRIBLE, WASN’T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A KIDS SHOW?!?

COLORED AIRJITZU LET’S GO!!

NYA YOU ALMOST KILLED COLE-

Okay, thanks for making me laugh, because I’m literally crying here

COUSIN VS COUSIN AGAIN

Why Morro’s brazilian voice is so fucking horrible

WHAT THE FUCK THEY GOT TO ANOTHER LEGO UNIVERSE?!?

WHAT KIND OF CROSSOVER IS THAT-

FINALLY YOU GUYS ARE SMART

OH SHIT SHE’S FLYING

oh shit, here we go again

OH SHIT-

I am actually identifying with Nya now

This scene (Nya’s true potential), compared to Seabound(Nya’s “death”), makes this scene strange

TAKE THIS MORRO!!

Oh shit

OH FUCK MORRO

You’re lying Wu

OH FUCK *starts to cry*

OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

I’m crying, help

Llyod’s back, baby

Alright, headcanon that Llyod still has his dad clothes

You’re going to Skybound bitch

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hola Dani 😊 ¿como te va? ¿Sigues de viaje? I hope you're having a good time and drinking enough water or tea or both!!

I'm going the farm this weekend because apparently Cocoa is sick, I've been assure that is not serious but I still want to go and see my fluffy girl 😌

The One with the Seashell

I'll try to keep this one short so Tumblr doesn't go 🤯

Maxwell needs to take a chill pill but also I would be the same!! I WANT MY MAVID BACK!!

Nicolas remains grounded!! 😒

Numeri sounds cool but also fuck math 😒

My son has been trying to use warlock math to grow up... Nicolas you are ungrounded 😭😭😭

Yes, I am that easy, so what??

“Helping someone doesn’t mean you have to make yourself uncomfortable,” bapak said softly.

I needed this today 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

Does Magnus have super smell?? He cannot possibly know that Max was practicing warlock math just by the smell of magic... or maybe my son's magic has a very particular smell 🤔

Answers I need answers!!!

“The wards are only for shadowhunters. It detects them by their runes. You don’t have runes, right? You’ll be okay. I promise.”

Maybe Roman and Gigi shouldn't go to Devlin Corp!!! I don't think their plan is going to work!!

Holy shit it worked!!

There was something about him. She couldn’t put her finger on it.

It was a circle with a red border and there were two smaller black circles, one on either side.

I have SO many questions!!!!

She fought the urge to set the whole damn place on fire.

Stop fighting and let it BURN!!!

Georgia looked at him. “Roman. We have to take it with us.”

TAKE IT!!! Take the seashell and RUN!!!

“It’s very rude to steal someone else’s property,” the boy told her.

First of all... OH FUCK!!! Second of all... that seashell is not yours so shut the fuck up!!!

The tiny device pulsed bluer and louder and harder than Gigi had seen before.

Oh no!! Oh no!!! I feel like this is going to backfire!!

What was that??? What fuck just happened???

“So, we’re not gonna tell him his brother died?”

I HATE THEM!!! I don't really care about the evil twins but that is shitty AF!!

“Stick to the plan. I want you to find Alec Lightwood.”

Dani no!! That was how my nightmare started 🥺🥺

“I will not let your delusional relationship ruin my legacy,” Marcus hissed.

But I am enjoying their fight, go ahead destroy each other!! Muahahaha

This bitch really thinks that Maxwell is going to forget about David... I need a stronger word than delusional!!

You are both delusional you evil bitch!!!

Oh Max 😭😭😭 this entire scene is hard, I'm glad this is from Mallory's POV and not Max’s because I want scream and cry 😭😭😭 my poor angel!!

M for Mallory.

No! Is an M for Malvada which you are!!

Yay LEXI!!! My twins always make me feel better!!

“Marcus and Mallory?” Lexi asked. “Look, man, I seriously think we should just, you know, be done with it.”

I agree!!!

Ok Achilles has a point but...

Achilles laughed at that. “I understand this must all be frustrating for you.”

Yes, it is very much!!!

“Too impulsive,” Mallory tutted. “And too arrogant.”

This bitch better not hurt my precious twin or else!!!!

The rings wrapped around Lexi’s ankles and locked her to the ground.

See!!! This why sometimes murder IS the answer!!!

“Daddy!” Lexi screamed and fell to the ground and clutched at her father. “Daddy, no!”

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Danielaaaaaa!!! Why? Why????

"Play time's over," Uncle Magnus said and then looked at the blonde man. "Jonathan, get off the ground. You are ruining a good shirt."

Oh yes!!! Our savior!!

But Mallory pulled the warlock closer by his shirt. “You fucking idiot.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

“You dumb bitch,” she said. “Alec Lightwood is going to kill you with his bare hands.”

That he will!! And I will help him!!

Dani... this chapter!! OMG!!! The amount of times I screamed!!!! You are amazing!!!

I tried to keep this short and organized but once again I have failed 😬

Thank youuuu!!! I am love you most 💚💚💚💚

okay now thanks to you i am 11% curse and say terms of endearment in spanish hehe.

today's word: mi preciosa ;)

And oh no! I also have the fucking flu since Sunday and i hate being sick! I hope Cocoa is okay and you get to visit her soon x

also if tumblr fucks with us again, i will sue!!!

I am love you the mostest 💚💚

[oseike]

Well I wrote my own fanfic like a 13 yo girl and uploaded it to ao3. I made an account just so I could do this. Honestly I may be cringe but I am free to embrace it so here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49287325

That's the bitch

Summary: A canon-close edit of the main story: when Mordegon steals the powers of the Luminary, it shatters the Luminary's soul. Now Rab must find the fragments from the space between life and death and put them back together, lest his grandson be lost forever. Yet doing so may prove to be an unexpected boon...

No warnings, not a romance (....hopefully that's obvious to everyone here). I rated teen+ on ao3 just cos there is mention of blood...I guess...

Some more thoughts under the cut

My other thoughts don't have anything to do with the fic itself; more game play and story adjustments I would have liked:

1) In the cutscene when Mordegon kills the World Tree, we see him destroy the Luminary powers, which originally has basically zero effect on the protagonist, since he’s freely able to use his powers after waking up again. I found that kind of stupid. I would change it so that upon getting back on land, the Luminary would no longer have free access to his Luminary powers. For the first section of the story, with Hendrik, the Luminary skills would be simply grayed out and unavailable. To make it easier, all enemies in that section would be weak to physical damage, and regular attacks are simply the extent of what the protagonist can do - though Hendrik, of course, can do more.

2) BUT, upon defeating the first general boss, the protagonist would gain a little bit of the Luminary powers back. My reasoning is this: Mordegon stole the powers of the Luminary. Instead of completely destroying them, it’d make it more fun to break it up into pieces and give those pieces to his generals. Mordegon wouldn’t need them anymore, having already stolen the heart of Yggdrasil, so shards of the Luminary’s powers could prove to be a nice boon for his favorite underlings. Thus, defeating certain regional bosses also returns the Luminary powers to him.

3) To have a twist: after getting the first sliver back, the player could technically access any of the Luminary spells and skills - but only a few are actually unlocked with each certain story beat/regional boss defeated. This means you could attempt to use a skill that hasn’t been unlocked in battle - but doing so would drop the protag’s HP to half the first time. It would trigger a cutscene after the battle where the party (whoever you had) would express concern and warn the player not to try that again, because he’s not recovered properly. If you did it again, it would auto-KO him. There’d be another triggered cutscene, where the protagonist would collapse and the party would rush to the last campsite or town you passed. He would wake up but be scolded again for over-exerting himself and then be told he’s not allowed to battle again since he clearly can’t control himself - at least, not until he can prove he’s more healed, which can happen at an inn. Resting at the campsite wouldn’t be enough, and the player wouldn’t be able to put him into the party for the time being.

4) I realize this does clash with the events of Rab later, because in meeting him, the protagonist originally learned Quadraslash (“an ultimate Luminary skill”) and his first combo with Rab. I think this could just be adjusted: Master Pang can just teach them how to combo. It also elevates how cool the characters are if their weakest combo skill still defeats Mordegon’s invasion of the afterlife realm, and would make the player more excited to see the stronger combinations. Then Master Pang can tell them to return to Angri'La and read a scroll/talk to her successor to gain one of the Luminary’s greatest skills after he’s healed - paving the way for him to return and gain the Quadraslash and actually make it a strong, cool skill for the final battle..

5) I think that it is important for the protagonist to have a moment where others look after him and he gets to go on a healing journey. He was he terribly injured (which should be kind of traumatic!); he shouldn’t just be jumping up and running off without any issues.

6) Thus, this journey lets the protagonist know he can depend on the others, and the journey would let those party members come into their own and take responsibility for seizing fate with their own hands. This becomes extra poignant if you remember Yggdrasil is gone; Yggdrasil’s favorite still exists but the tree can’t help him, and it’s truly up to the remaining living people to save themselves. This IS a theme the game tries to sell you, too, but it kind of falls flat when they also keep driving home how necessary the Luminary is.

7) It also makes the various instances when the protagonist collapses (such as meeting the Seer) all the more harrowing for the party members, because they know he’s not entirely whole and they can’t know exactly what might break him in his current state.

(I’ll be honest, I kind of want Hendrik to suffer a lot more than he did. I love his character, he should wallow in guilt and misery.)

8) One more thing: this setup would nullify much of what the Seer says to him. Thus, I think that moment would be better off spent helping him get over the trauma of near-death, and the worry of whether or not he’d be enough to battle Mordegon when the time came. The Seer can use that moment as a chance to reinforce the idea of relying on his companions instead of trying to take everything on himself, thus cycling back to the ‘you’re not alone/you don’t need to shoulder everything’ message. Poignant, knowing who the Seer is.

[calypsoff3]

Seventeen. Part 2

Following behind Chris, he isn’t so much happy to see Rylee, but he needs to not be so harsh with his kids because he is going through it, he is being selfish now “will you just relax for one second” closing the door behind me “relax? I am just doing me, you’re telling me to relax but bought Rylee here?” he said “because she wanted to see you and right now Chris this isn’t on my mind, I don’t care that Rylee turned up, why should I? I am more worried about you and how you are? Stop being so selfish with the kids, I am serious Chris. They literally want you”  he stared at me “I refuse to see you with any other man, I am not going to do good if I see that, I don’t care for the interview. I don’t care for any of that shit, I don’t care. Take the record label contract off me, I don’t care anymore. I don’t, like I really don’t” taking in a deep breath “Chris, I am not having you running around like this. I want you to get help, if you didn’t care then you wouldn’t have walked off and away from Rylee, you do care. What about our kids, what about them and their mental health, give me a break. Ok I get you don’t want to see me with another man but what has that go to do with them” he shook his head “because then they will be living with you, I am telling you now Robyn, you would be best off without me being around, I will not make your life easy. I punched the window, things will just escalate and then what?” staring at him “I want better for you, I said I will always be here for you. You are not being fair; you did this and now the kids are being punished. You leaving me with five kids that want you is being selfish” Chris looked away from me “I care for you so much, please just listen to me. Let me help you” he turned away from me and sobbed out, he is just adamant in making sure he ruins himself and I don’t want that for him, I know what he wants, and he won’t get it, I can’t let him just be the way he is. I don’t want him to cry, I hate seeing him like this and I get it, to be fair they don’t know Chris is going through it, but they threw him under the bus, they really did that to him, I hate them for that.

Walking around him “Chris” I said, he wiped his face “I am going to get you out of the Roc Nation contract, I will get you out of it. And I want you to get another record label, I will help you do that. But I need you to fix up, for yourself. Love yourself, don’t do it for me. Do it for you” he looked at me “you really don’t love me anymore” tilting my head to the side a little “because I won’t accept the way you are, because I am not letting you come back to me. I just don’t want you to destroy yourself, you deserve happiness too, do you not. I told you we are friend and forever will be, I care for you. I do Chris, and love? I will always love you to the last breath, love doesn’t go but people have enough, and that is me. I love you Chris and it hurts me. But I am stronger than ever, because I know I need to be for our kids and also you, looks like. I didn’t want to be the person to break and allow my family to seep into my mind” I hugged him, I am not going to shy away from touching him, this is my love, my forever love. Chris hugged me too “we are going to see Sade, together. I can sit there; I want to make sure you go actually. I want my kids to have you as their dad, not anyone else. And also I need you for Rylee’ birthday party” I do need him for that “you are driving yourself crazy, you really are” he sniffled “did they do this on purpose” Chris said “they did, but I got your back Chris, just need you to be ok. I will get you out of it” I don’t want him on Roc Nation when his talent can go miles ahead with other labels.

Chris turned to me “they do it on purpose?” he repeated “well right now you’re vulnerable, I guess they wasn’t aware, and they told you to go to an interview about your music, it was a lie. Jay Z set you up for a downfall. They clearly set out the questions for that bitch to say to you, to give you career suicide. But forget them, we can deal with that after. What I want from you is silence, I don’t want you to be making yourself get angry and lashing out. Just let me deal with it for you on your behalf. I got you, don’t look at me like that. Please” I want to deal with it for him “are you going to listen to me or not?” he licked his lips “you want to divorce me” he said “and I am still your best friend, I want the best for you because I do not understand what your friend is playing at, Herb is not doing what he should be. He is full of shit; my kids need you!” I said again “so tomorrow we go to Sade” he nodded his head “Jesus, and can you stay at home, do not do anything. The window was pretty broken at the studio, is your hand ok” he shrugged “it’s whatever, ok fine” I feel like I am his mother right now “where is Joyce?” I am sure she was here “home, also she told me what your mom said and he just stood there. When I catch that nigga it’s on site, on god. I got him” oh she told him, clearing my throat “well let’s just forget that” I said, we need to just not thinking negatively.

Walking out of the bathroom, I needed to pee but then I stopped walking hearing Rylee talking “but how does that make sense, you was busy breaking a window and you couldn’t just text me back, I called and text you dad. It’s a little rude, I literally could have been dying and you was my last call. I just want you home, even though you can be very silly at times. You look different too, is it the hair? I mean my school think you’re iconic, Melo thinks you’re legendary, the whole persona. Also my birthday is coming up and I really think you’re the best person to perform for my party please, everyone loves you at school. No gifts just that for me” does Rylee ever give her dad the chance to talk, is that me. Am I the same “I just ain’t been in the right space, your mom leaving me” he finally spoke “but dad, Imani. Like she needs you, Junior is terror, how is this fair on mom having to deal with four kids that are bad” I sniggered “four?” Chris said “well I am the perfect one, but dad just please. I know mom is like making you her ex but you’re our number one no matter what, I really want you to fix up” let me actually make my way out “honestly mom, I just told dad he needs to do better” I chuckled “I am sure he is listening” he looks zoned out “also my day is coming, you have a whole sixteen year old. I have changed what I want too” I didn’t know this “I want to go on holiday with you all” I laughed “move, I know your game. She isn’t winning” she gasped “but why?” she asked “so you can start a reunion, be quiet” she chuckled “but mom, I am doing it for my siblings” she is so annoying this girl of mine “get the hell out right now, you ain’t taking nothing for the team this time” she ain’t shit.

I am shocked to see Chris actually did what I asked of him, he is actually here at Sade’, I was late as I am, but I was dealing with the kids “you came” he said “well I had no choice in not coming when you threaten to not go inside” he laughed a little “I know, thank you. I was thinking what if we see someone else? There is other people” walking off ignoring him “I thought I saw you here, well both here” Sade said, she is like family to me now “hey” hugging her “well I haven’t come here for me, I guess you know that” I said as I walked inside her home “I know, and that is fine. You both effect each other so you both coming is a good thing, please go down the hall and on your left” she said as I walked off, I am just going to be quiet. I came here for him, I want him to be better for the kids, that is my main thing. If there is one thing I can do and that is to make sure my kids have a dad, they need him. Sitting down on the seat, Chris came in shortly after. I can tell with the look on his face, he does not want to be here so that means he is either going to do it for me or he will be playing up, I pray he doesn’t play up because I for one will be kicking off with him “so nice to see you both here, I did think it would have been Rihanna on her own but no” nodding my head slowly “it is mainly for him, I am just here to be here for support” Chris sighed out “I am here so she doesn’t divorce me” he admitted, licking my top lip “before you left I said to not do anything stupid, am I going to hear positive or negatives?” Sade said to him “depends, but if you ask Robyn then it’s going to be negative, I just think I did it. I get I did it but give me a chance to make it better” he shrugged; he is still that Chris.

“So you believe that you did nothing wrong or do you? Because when we first spoke on this you knew you did wrong, do you know?” Sade is going to be on his ass, I know her well “no I do believe I did wrong, but I stopped the kiss, I did not go any further and the point is I stopped it so yeah, I erm. I don’t know, I am here so she doesn’t divorce me” Sade shook her head “when you first came to me about the issue, you came alone. Right?” he nodded his head “you was in trouble, you felt vulnerable so you came, you bringing your wife, I will say this because if I say ex-wife you will not like it, but it is a form of hold on her Chris, you are more then capable of coming alone, she worries about you, and you know that, so she came. Do you want to have a hold on her?” she asked him “I ain’t letting her go” Sade is so unimpressed “then what is the other alternative? Because you are having drugs or something of the sort, I can tell. So the alternative in Chris’ mind, what is that” I would like to know that too “that I get help” he mumbled “help? So you don’t want Rihanna to leave you because her own mental health is being affected, you want to get help for yourself? Does that include accepting a certain thing or not?” he went silent “you know what Chris, I need you to accept any form of physical contact that isn’t your wife with another woman that was there for fun, is cheating. That wasn’t no fan, it wasn’t no anything. The women were put there on purpose so you can have fun, you need to accept that was cheating. You kissed females, did you feel arousal?” looking at Chris “it got heated” he mumbled “heated, arousal. It only gets heated because you felt euphoria towards it, you need to be open and honest to what you did and take it. If you do not take it then we aren’t moving on, we are going to repeat this same situation until you can say it” Chris is pissed off, he looked away from her “at what point in the heated exchange did you remember I am married?” good question “when she touched my hand, it wasn’t my wife’ touch and I know her touch even when I am drunk. She held my hand when I was in hospital, even when I was not awake, I knew her touch. The touch wasn’t right, and I then moved away from it” biting on my top lip “can I ask you the question?” I hate him “did you cheat on your wife?” she asked it again, she refuses to leave it alone and I wonder if he will admit that “yeah” he said yes “I want you to say those word aloud, say it loud” he clenched his jaw “I cheated on my wife” he mumbled “that is right, you see it as a good thing because you stopped it but at the end of the day you was there and you still kissed, good you admitted to it and you need to remember it, not nice when you say it aloud” Chris looked at me and I just looked away from him.

Sade took in a deep breath “you are taking drugs as a form of healing, as a form of hurting too. You are masking your hurt, you are masking the truth of what happened, you are masking it and Chris this is not going to end well. For you, for your family. Do you not want to fight for your kids?” he shook his head “so you want to what? Speak to me” she is pushing him “hide, I don’t want to be here. I refuse to let Robyn move on, and that is me being real, I am going to move” he means that, I know that for sure “so you want to punish your kids and Rihanna because she is not forgiving you, you know what I am going to say don’t you” Chris laughed “laugh Chris but you can be the sweetest man alive and you can be the most unstable one too, vulnerable too. You need to accept it and let me help you so we can properly diagnose you” Chris licked his lips “I am just a dickhead, I keep telling you that” I am confused “I truly know you do but you won’t let me help you, you’re going to run away and not see me after this” looking at Chris “I am going to beat my dad when I see him, I thought I would let you know beforehand, so you can’t say I am going crazy, but he needs a beating. Nigga let his second wife speak on my mom like that” he said, “watch your mouth before you say anything else more” I added “you having drugs is not helping you” clearing my throat “he is having lean” let me just say it “it relaxes me” Sade shook her head “what did you diagnose him with?” I want to know now “she is a liar” he said “Chris, don’t play in my face. I have known you for far too long to be lying now. You are going to wake up and have nobody, you need to quit it but also it is down to Chris to allow me to say it. Seeing as I have my own sessions with him, when he did come” I didn’t know any of this “Chris” looking at him.

He rubbed his face “just sign the papers” rolling my eyes “don’t worry, it’s over the thirty days” he is being petty “I just really don’t care for anything but my kids, he is being childish now” he is annoying “what do you want from these sessions?” she asked him “nothing, I came for Robyn” he is being a dickhead, he is right “and then when she is not here, then what happens” he sat back “then I will not come, she can have her wishes, have the kids” he pointed “and again, impulsive behaviour and then you will wake up. Let me help you” she said “say it to her then, I really don’t care. She can know, ain’t changing shit” Sade sighed out “no Chris, you can tell your wife, you have been married to Rihanna for years. She has every right to know what you may have. So turn around and tell her, it will give her peace to know it wasn’t her. Don’t you want that?” do I even know this man; I feel scared now. Chris turned to me “she thinks I am crazy” he said bluntly “well are you?” he shrugged “I don’t know” he is playing in my face “borderline personality disorder” staring at Sade “what is that?” I said “Well people with borderline personality disorder will experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike which Chris does have. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain for him and those around him. Impulsive behaviour is another one, it can be severe but I can’t diagnose him when he doesn’t like to accept help, but I see it” I am just too stunned to speak “erm wow” I said “yeah I am mental, according to her" he said “do I even know you” I feel I don’t know “yeah I am over this, god bless you Sade. Now she thinks I am crazy, I am gone. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. Whatever, I’m out” he got up from the couch “Chris” Sade said, I am so shocked because I have been married to him for years.