#because i will feel even MORE guilty cuz I know who i'm letting down by not writing fast enough

[givemetherapyimawritingtravesty]

Hi I was wondering if you could do one where this is like Remus’ first dinner at dumos with the team but has like an allergic reaction to something. but does not want to say anything so like makes a hurried excuse and calls 911 or something idk. Totally okay if you’re not comfortable writing this.

Okay so this is just further proof I AM Remus John Lupin because this is some shit I would do (and actually have done ope) because above all else I hate to be an inconvenience to anyone ever. And I think Remus is the same way.

This prompt hasn’t been sitting all that long and I need you all to know it has not once left my head since it came in it is perfection. I’m love. Thank you.

To say Remus was nervous would be an understatement.

He had been invited to a team dinner at Dumo’s and though he knew Celeste’s cooking was to die for and that he wouldn’t want to miss it did nothing to stop him from panicking just a little. Sure, he’d been to team dinners here and there once in a while but always out at restaurants, never at anyone’s house.

So, he tried to time it so he wouldn’t be too early, as he was apt to be, so that he wouldn’t be the first or only one there with no one else to fill the lulls in conversation. Luckily, the cab driver seemed in no rush to get him to his destination, which was fine with Remus. He happened to get there just as Thomas Walker was getting out of his car.

“Loops! Hey, good to see you for like, what, the third time today?” He laughed.

“Yeah, yeah.” Remus chuckled, “Can’t seem to get away from y’all. After you.” Remus motioned for Finn to walk ahead of him on the path to the Dumias’ front door.

Talker, as they all called him, gave three brisk knocks and the door opened barely a moment later. “Heya, Black.”

Sirius gave a nod in acknowledgement to them and waved them in. “Hi guys. You can go ahead and hang your coats in the closet. Celeste said everything’s about done so then go ahead and take a seat. I’ll be right back.” Sirius shut the door behind them and then made his way down the stairs to the basement, presumably to his room.

Remus noticed he seemed a bit nervous around a lot of people, especially when the team went out, but even at larger gatherings at one of their houses. And even though Sirius lived here, he still didn’t seem to be at home here. At least, that’s what he overheard Dumo saying to Pots after practice in the lounge the other day when James had inquired how Sirius had been adjusting after months of being in Gryffindor.

Remus shook his head back to the present and followed Talker and the smell of amazing cooking into the kitchen where they found some empty seats around one of the makeshift fold out tables that were scattered about. An empty chair was left next to Remus that was soon filled by Sirius, who had walked up and rose an eyebrow in question, to which Remus nodded for him to take a seat.

The food started flowing soon after, as did conversation which was never at a lull with James Potter and Thomas Walker around and trying to include everyone, Remus and an especially quiet rookie Sirius. Remus had to admit, he was having a great time; laughing freely and savoring the food that lived up to the hype from the team.

At one point he laughed maybe a bit too hard, quickly devolving into a short coughing fit.

Talker gave him a few pats on the back, “Alright there, Loops?”

Remus cleared his throat and rasped out, “Yeah, sorry.”

“He’s just enjoying Celeste’s cooking a bit too much.” James joked. “Celeste, I hate vegetables but these green beans are divine. How?”

“Cooked them with almond butter and sliced almonds, really helps give it more flavor.”

“Ah, well I’ll have to try that next ti—”

“Excuse me.” Remus’ voice was a bit scratchy as he got up from the table to grab a glass of water and head towards the entryway, away from the crowd.

Almonds. Of course it just had to be tree nuts, didn’t it? Just his luck.

Remus rummaged through the front hall closet to look for his coat, just beginning to pull it off the hanger when a shadow fell over him as someone approached.

“Hey. Are- Are you leaving?” Came Sirius’ timid voice. “I hope the crowd wasn’t too much, I know lot’s of people make me nervous too.”

Remus finally got his jacket free, immediately rummaging through the zipped inside pocket and retrieving his epi-pen. “No, it’s not that…” He got out before coughing lightly. He dropped his coat and leaned back against the wall, bending his legs slightly and taking out the pen. He took a deep breath to steel his nerves, “Let me know when it’s been three seconds.”

Remus did his best to hold back a wince as he stabbed himself in the thigh and heard a distressed noise from Sirius.

“Okay, oui, three seconds.”

“Thank you.” Remus placed the pen back in the holder to dispose of later and tossed in on top of his jacket. He leaned his head back against the wall and rolled his head to the side to look over at Sirius. “Sorry. Almonds. Allergy.”

“Are you okay?” Sirius look more that a little freaked. Panicked might be a better word. “H- Call? Nine un un? Hospital?”

Remus let out a chuckle at Sirius fumbling for words, hoping it would calm him a bit. “No,” Remus cleared his throat. “I’ll be fine. Could, um, could you actually grab me some water? I think I’m going to sit for a bit, away from everyone.”

“Oui. Viens- Come. We can sit on the stairs.” He tentatively reached out to Remus and lead him to the basement door, walking down just a few steps and motioning for Remus to sit. He left and came back a moment later with a cold bottle of water and sat on the stairs next to him, closing the door just above him, muffling the sounds of the team just upstairs.

“Sorry, I—”

“Don’t apologize. We should have asked of anyone had allergies. You could have asked, too, Celeste wouldn’t have minded. I can tell her for next time. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Remus let out a huffed laugh; he was pretty sure that was the most Sirius had spoken to him ever. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll be fine. Not that severe an allergy. More embarrassed than anything.” He opened the water and chugged down half of it in one go. “Usually, I’m more careful about noticing if there’s something I’m allergic to. But I’ll be find, just need some air for a minute. Crowds can be a little suffocating, right?”

It was Sirius’ turn to huff out a laugh, “Oui. I usually don’t even make it to the end of these things without hiding in my room a couple times. The quiet helps calm me in the middle of the chaos.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Remus finished off the bottle of water, setting it down by his feet. “I think I’ll need a bit before heading back out there, you?”

“Oui, same. The stairs, uh, aren’t that comfortable. Do you want to maybe come sit in my room for a few minutes before heading back? I think Adele left me her Gameboy, I could show you my pokemans?”

“Pokémon?” Remus smiled at him. “Sure. Lead the way.”

[biscuitboba]

Hii, do you have some zolu/luzo ff rec??

Hii!!, uhh i have over 100 zolu/luzo fics downloaded YES OF COURSE, i'll try and list down some (many) fics with one chapter only cuz i'm not sure if i can stop recommending if i include multi chaptered fics... (But if you want some rec for the multi chaptered fics just let me know!! Ohh and maybe some ongoing fics?)

This is gonna be a very long post😭🙏

Bleed like an Idiot by Augment [13k words]

Rating: Mature (for mild gore/torture)

Something something about their fear of disappointing/failing each other, the perfect amount of angst, so good

Not that Luffy wouldn’t die for each and every one of his crew, and he knows, though he will make sure it never ever happens, that they would die for him. But to supersede Zoro’s dream like this, that makes Luffy feel so hideously guilty it locks up his lungs, and his jaw, and he can’t speak, touch Zoro, anything.

The salt & the sea by novks (thychesters) [25k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Modern setting, reincarnation au. Zoro being the last person to regain his memories (of his past life) and luffy being lowkey annoyed by it lol

It’s like with Nami, hitting him full force, but it’s so much more than that as the reality of it all comes crashing down around him. Zoro, his (first mate, first friend in this world of pirates, first crew member and first one he swore an oath with), his—he isn’t even sure what to call him. There’s too much but too little to describe him.

Zoro. Zoro, who—no, no, no offense to Nami—should have been first. Zoro, who’s a constant, and he’s practically vibrating with the need to reach and touch him, make sure he’s really real. His tongue darts out to wet his lip as he steps forward, crowding into his personal space and finally grinning because I found you!

Luffy wants to call him an idiot, because it figures he would get lost finding his way home.

But Zoro just blinks at him, flushes, one eye still framed by a familiar scar and says, “Oh, sorry,” and makes it so much worse when he says, “Do I know you?

Of First Mates and Duty by Whatev3rs [14k]��

Rating: General Audiences

Zoro's bad at feelings, but he is trying ok!! 

“First mates… we devote our lives to our captains. Our entire beings. We live for them, breathe for them. And they expect us not to fall in love?” He smiles, small and knowing.

Zoro’s eyes widen and he sputters, trying to muster a response. The man only laughs more.

OR

Being a good first mate was easy enough for Zoro. That is, until the… feelings.

If I Had to Give a Reason by MiniPandaBuns [5k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Tooth-rotting fluff, Zoro and his view of luffy, #feelings, love confession, idiots in loveee

“I wonder what you see in him.”

"Too much." He'd say. "It's endless. All of my reasons can't be condensed into words."

I love him simply because he exists. Because Luffy is Luffy, limitless and free.

Inseparable on the face of Impossibility by the11thhour [25k]

Rating: Not Rated

Luffy is taken by some bad guy, his boyfriend and family (crew) to the rescue! #superworriedzoro:(

A fun trip to a new island takes a turn for the worse when a mysterious group of pirates cause trouble and Luffy goes missing. The crew led by Zoro embark on a mission to get their captain back while his vivre card burns away.

When the Dew Falls Up by louluna [10k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Time travel au, there are two zoros!!

As the bright light enveloped his body, Zoro knew his day had gone to absolute shit.

New year's kiss by grimsoul [4k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Post wano, the title is pretty self explanatory i guess.. fluff, very sweet!! 

Luffy didn’t understand back then but the couple seemed so happy. Kissing someone to strengthen a relationship must have really worked.

It’s been long since that time so Luffy had almost forgotten about it. But then as he sails again now with his crew—the title of an Emperor latched to his name, their journey getting closer and closer to the One Piece, to his dream—a new year approaches them.

Found in the Crack of Your Palm by The_Furthest_City_Light [11k]

Rating: General Audiences

#luffybeingsuperdemisexualatzorofor11k (personally demi luffy is my favorite headcanon of him!)

Zoro’s hands are big, thick and knuckly and covered in calluses from his swords. He has a strong grip, too, and strong muscles because he trains them to be strong.

None of it explains the way Luffy’s body lights up when Zoro clasps the back of his neck, like every nerve is alight and trained on the palm cupping the baby hairs at the back of his skull. His stomach knots over itself and he wants to eat everything in Sanji’s kitchen. Zoro’s skin is a little rough and sweaty from fighting and warm.

Zoro is close, his forehead nearly butting Luffy’s and Luffy couldn’t move if he wanted to, trapped there by the closeness and the touch that makes him aware of Zoro’s skin against his in a way he’s never been before.

Zoro’s eyes bore into his, digging deep into Luffy and dragging out—something, buried in the base of his spine. He feels like the earth is tilting, and freefall seems like it might be fun.

the moon asks a question by d_s_writes [1k]

Rating: General Audiences

A very short fic, but can't stop thinking about the rest of strawhats and their idea of love vs luffy's, like- he really gagged me here😭

Zoro doesn’t understand—how can he feel all the things that the others had spoken of, yet none of it the same time? He felt that each of their versions of love were merely motions of love, rather than love itself.

He doesn’t get it. Love has never been a word, or a sense of belonging, or any of those things. He had only ever really thought of love when he looked at Luffy.

OR: An investigation of the lives and loves of the Strawhat Pirates.

Robin knows by leopardgeckoz [3k]

Rating: General Audiences

Oh moment for both zoro and luffy but especially for the oblivious captain

In which Nico Robin has always known how her captain and first mate feel for one another, and the scenario's in which the rest of the crew discover it.

Alternatively

"Every passing hour of Luffy's silence drove Zoro further and further into madness. He wanted Luffy's smile, his laugh, his chatter, but his captain had spent the better part of the day on the complete opposite sides of the ship as Zoro. Out of sight, but most certainly not out of mind. If anything, his absence plagued Zoro's even more."

step 1: die by swordsmans [11k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Roronoa zoro and his unstoppable self  destru sacrificing tendency for his one and only captain (featuring sanji!)

After two years with Ivankov, Sanji knows something about Luffy that Zoro does not.

ship to wreck by novks (thychesters) [9k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Zoro and luffy but from nami's perspective?? Mutual pinning and luffy's oh moment

Nami is the first one to notice something is amiss, but then given her current competition is Luffy and Zoro, it isn’t surprising.

“Do you love Zoro?” She doesn’t bother beating around the bush. Doesn’t bother with easing into it with any metaphors or small talk, one of which Luffy would have little interest in, and the other of which would go over his head.

He stares back at her, and for a split second she feels like she’s gone and shoved her foot right into her mouth. Something flickers through his eyes, but she doesn’t have time to fully study it before his features shutter again.

Luffy tilts his head. “Of course I do.”

Part of her wants to cheer, shout aha! because she knew it, dammit, but then he proceeds to barrel right over that.

“I love you too,” to which she freezes, and then: “And Usopp, and Sanji, I guess. You guys are my friends.”

She wants to scream.

But Patience Boasts by Augment [9k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Ughh i love the way this fic portray zoro and sanji's dynamic… anyways, lowkey wingman sanji!

Sanji and Zoro have very different love languages.

Kizuna by YokoHogawa [5k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

#nakamaship, basically 

Usopp carefully watches Luffy over the sandwich he is biting into, and he can’t help but worry.

Sanji has an anxiety problem.

Something wakes Zoro at the crack of dawn.

Half a step (into the sun) by TheOctopusofWriting [29k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Demon prince zoro, that's it, that's the point.

Zoro was the exiled prince of an island of demons. He spent the first portion of his life wandering from island to island without any place to really call home, that is until he follows a boy in a strawhat out to sea and finds the home he'd been looking for

to cut your teeth on love by freckledshoulderblades [10k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Smth smth the bond between captain and first mate...

Zoro meets Luffy and gives himself over wholeheartedly the instant Wadō is placed between his teeth again. Luffy meets Zoro and decides in a heartbeat that Zoro is his

Take Me Out to Sea by MiniPandaBuns [3k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audience

Just them being all sweet and wholesome<3

Luffy and Zoro take a pleasant little swim together, despite the fact that Luffy can't swim and Zoro told him no. Many times.

He just can't refuse his Captain. Even if he does, Luffy still wins, because he's just Luffy and that's how it goes.

everybody wants your time by dwaal [3k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Uhh abo au, omega zoro and alpha luffy, jealousy, bonded mates, making out, y knoww~

An unclaimed omega on the seas can be a liability. It's commonplace for captains to bite any of their crew to prevent any incidents, but the marks are usually temporary.

Zoro is intensely aware of this, as Boa Hancock proceeds to make herself at home on the arm of his captain's chair

it's an ambush! by tuhituhi [3k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Zoro meeting his bf's brothers for the first time!

Luffy's middle name should be B. for Blindside the way he's constantly taking Zoro off guard. Or maybe the D. stood for Devious, or Devil- any of them would fit, considering the Situations this man has put him through. OR

Zoro meets Luffy's brothers. Was he expecting this? Technically. Was he prepared for this?

Not in the slightest

end of summer (now i know) by taka0 [2k]

Rating: Mature

Just luffy being very sappy (and a tiny bit horny) about his zoro<3

Luffy loves all of Zoro while they lie in a hammock.

Ocean theology by swordsmans [40k]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Reincarnation au, yearning and devotion, symbolism-

“Zoro—”

“Did you know?” he repeats, desperate, and Luffy just looks at him. And he wonders, then, how much of this has been preordained—how much of this is real, how much of this is him. How much of what he’s felt since they were wedged side-to-side in a shitty wooden boat on the East Blue has actually mattered, and how much has been the universe pressing him down into the mold of someone else's heart.

And then Luffy is gripping his horns, bringing his forehead down to meet his, repeating, “Zoro? Zoro?” like his name is a mantra, like he’s gone somewhere far away and gotten lost on his way back.

And Zoro blinks at him, then, and sees both of them at once—both of them—and he grips Luffy’s face in his own hands (claws) and presses his lips (violent, full of teeth) against his. Because this is who he has been waiting a thousand years for, the brightest and most beautiful of them all, the one thing he could never have—could never see, not if (Luffy, Joyboy, Nika) had made different (worse) choices—the thing that could never thrive in the darkness, just like he could never (has been unable to for centuries) survive without it—

let thy sword be thy tongue by queerweather [14k]

Rating: Mature

Sword language, sword personification, swords- zoro not being so normal about his captain, whats new?

It’s strangely exhilarating, imagining himself on his knees in front of Luffy, blindfolded. Like he really is getting executed this time. All of Zoro’s senses stand at attention and his mouth fills with saliva.

The flat of Kitetsu’s blade presses cold against Zoro’s cheek. “Zoro,” Luffy scolds. “I haven’t even done anything yet.”

.

.

.

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and Zoro is not afraid of Luffy handling his swords; Zoro is afraid of how Luffy handling his swords might unravel him.

The only animal by batman [10k]

Rating: Explicit (sexual content)

 It's about roronoa zoro and how he pines for his captain

It wasn't until Kuraigana that he realised how the world had split into two kinds of touch: swords and hands.

Luffy's hands.

(In a stolen week between islands, Luffy touches Zoro again.)

Sunward bound by iffervescent [13k]

Rating: Explicit (sexual content, top zoro)

Ace luffy & sex positive luffy!!

Zoro's a pirate bounty hunter, which means he's used to going after the pirate he wants and getting them. Except this time the pirate he wants is his captain and now he has no fucking clue what to do.

Expressions by Leoporidae_Lagomorpha [2k]

Rating: Explicit (sexual content, top luffy)

Them being disgustingly in love whats new?, sexy times (plot what plot) 

Monkey D. Luffy knows, that despite popular opinion, Roronoa Zoro is a man of many expressions.

hanabi | 花火 by narramin [8k]

Rating: Explicit (sexual content, top luffy)

Just the captain and his first mate being silly while enjoying their date in wano (eventual smut)

firework /ˈfʌɪəwəːk/

noun

plural noun: fireworks

• a device containing gunpowder and other combustible chemicals which causes spectacular effects and explosions when ignited, used for display or in celebrations.

• a display of great skill or energy.

Luffy and Zoro finally reunite in Wano, visit a gambling den and go on a less than traditional festival date night.

a tale of two gods by grimsoul [6k]

Rating: Explicit (sexual content, top zoro, implied switching)

Sun of God x God of death. a fiery tryst between two gods

“Ne, Zoro, come with me,” Luffy said, giggling, pulling him closer. “You’re going to be a part of my court.”

Contrary to what most people believed, hell was a rather cold place. Zoro had been quite used to it, the lack of light, the vast glaciers, his body no longer as fragile as it was eons ago, and so a simple touch like this from Luffy, from the sun, made him feel like his flesh was scorched—melting away easily like winter in summer’s heat.

They were close, so close that their foreheads were almost touching, and despite the burn of it, Zoro didn’t push him away. He smirked, his one eye glowing just as red as Luffy’s.

“Don’t decide something on your own, idiot.”

running just to keep my hands on you by nevermordor [6k]

Rating: Explicit (sexual content, switching)

They are so competitive in pretty much everything lol

The thing they do is kind of like a game, because Luffy likes games, but it’s also kind of a competition because Zoro can’t not turn anything and everything into a competition. It doesn’t have a name and there are only two rules, because more than two would just be making things boring and overcomplicated.

1. Whoever takes out the most guys in a fight is the winner

2. Whoever is the loser has to do whatever the winner says

“Why’s it gotta be a whole game and stuff," Luffy says. "That’s gonna take too long.”

“It makes sex more fun," Zoro explains. "You gotta win it, you gotta earn it. Like anything good in life. Like pirate king or greatest swordsman.”

Luffy considers this.

One on one by EclecticIsMyMiddleName [6k]

Rating: Explicit (sexual content, top luffy) 

Post canon, domestic married luffy and zoro my beloved… they are so in love?? It's sickening

Zoro's just trying to get ready for the day, but Luffy has other plans

Prayers Carried on Waves Reach the Sun by anarchycox [8k]

Rating: Mature (sexual content, switching)

Sun god luffy & demon zoro ftw

Luffy is the sun god, Nika. Zoro is a demon. And his boyfriend. They make it work. On earth the Thousand Sunny is the ship of worship for the sun god, the crew Nika's priests. When they call for help, Luffy and Zoro go to their aid.

Luffy decides they should stay a while, and Zoro loves him enough to do so.

Being human is a pain and stupid, but for his Luffy, he'll endure it.

Ok i need to stop here cuz it's getting way too longgg, but i'm just so ill about the two of them sorry not sorry😭😭

[envy-of-the-apple]

That what if when ms. moon already has a family but has to leave because of him is so HEARTBREAKING. Imagine moving on from a tramatic situation, meeting the love of your life, having a wonderful kid for all that to just get squashed in a instant. That literally had me about to tear up but imagine her kid was a bit older lets say like 10 (i know the math doesnt add up well with the timeline but its a what if)and then she just has to leave, that alone would greatly negatively impact the kid, just leaving a lasting mark. Maybe the kid would remember gojo’s face and resent him for the rest of their life.

The husband thing is equally as sad because I imagine ms.moon as shes about to leave crying and whispering how much she loves him and that shes so sorry. (Bonus heartbreak points they all breakdown as shes about to leave and she cant even hug or kiss them goodbye because shes being watched). After this incident ms.moon’s pervious family completes spiral down the drain and moon’s mental state goes down the drain with it

In conclusion amazing story but that shit was sad as fuck but I still eat it up with silverware and all

(merging multiple SEM asks cuz i feel so guilty for clogging up ppls dashes lmao)

ughhhh anytime kids are involved it just gets way more depressing, right? It think age 8-10 is like the worst time for this to this to happen because the kid can understand little, but not enough to get the whole picture.

The kid knows that their mom is leaving, but they aren't seeing the wavering tears in Ms.moon's eyes, the shaky hands, as you hug them for the last time. All that they can see is the fancy new car your new lover sits in. The grand ring that sits on your finger. Yeah, your kid will hate gojo for ripping apart your family.

But they'll hate you more, considering you're running off with a man who has more money than their father.

I think the only upside is that gojo might not bat an eye if you send money back to your family, keeping them comfortable. With enough pleading, he might pull a few string to get your kid into a good school. With your indirect help, your kid will have the best education and prosperity. Them resenting you is a pretty small price to pay, right?

in the fic, the case took about three weeks, so it took three weeks for gojo to just snap.

He would definetly try to toy with ms.moon for as long as he can. Despite claiming that he forgave ms.moon, he does carry a tiny bit of resentment. It's kind of a punishment, in that sense.

And honestly the moment he figures out you who are, I doubt you'd have a chance to run anymore. The reason why Ms.moon was able to 'get away' the first time was because gojo was still a teenager, hier of the gojo conglomerate, but still not powerful yet. Now, he has tons of resources available for him. You're not getting away lmao, I think that's why he's so much at ease this time around.

I never really considered the family's response. their reactions is something I'm not really interested in exploring. i don't think they got any characterization other than 'housewife mom' and 'dad who works'. I don't really think ms.moon would even mention gojo's torment to them. It'd be embarrassing, knowing that some kid the same age as you is just lording over your life, right? I did mention that Gojo confronts your family in EKM, but I don't like that addition now, so I'm retconning it. I feel like they'd find out just like everyone else did: From the media. Everyone in your little town knew who the Gojo was, but the fact that their kid is getting married to one of them has so be surprising.

But then again, not something im interested in exploring

If Gojo had managed to find Ms. Moon before, things would certainly have been much different. The gojo now has 'cooled down' and is far less volatile. If they had met again, if they were in their early twenties....things would not be much different from his high school counterpart.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

(SAMS related)

Hey so maybe this is a stupid question, but I'm curious to hear your opinion....

What do you think they're doing with BloodMoon? On the one hand they're acknowledging how BloodMoons known nothing but hate and being used, which makes me sympathetic and seems to indicate a direction of change/redemption. But on the other hand, its FUCKING BLOODMOON. Hes garnered hate because hes an insane psychopath that has admitted that they enjoy the killing and dont see it as a curse. That's not someone you leave loose or free. It seems that solution is to kill them again, but that also seems like a waste cuz they JUST came back and now have a custom VR model.

I dunno, I'm sorry for rambling, I just want to hear what others think. Cuz to me they're giving us plenty of reasons and tidbits to want a BloodMoon redemption of some sort, but BloodMoon has seemed to make it very clear that they dont want to stop being the bloodthirsty killing machine and have "killed" and/or burned bridges with the individuals who would have TRIED to accept them. So I'm confused on how to feel and what to think....

I don't know honestly.

On one hand, they point out constantly BloodMoon's abandonment issues and him being constantly used as a tool.

While I am disappointed with how KC's death was handled, I do agree that he needed to be fridged by Bloodmoon in this case. (I just wish the circumstances aligned so KC didn't antagonize him for no reason and didn't throw his life away for no reason. And due to his inaction caused many more homeless people to possibly die, and now it seems like he was just feeding the homeless for clout on tinder and not genuinely care about these people.... I honestly find the stupid easy jabs at the homeless in the sams series kinda gross and while it has been toned down I still wish it would stop all together...)

And what I really think will happen, Bloodmoon wants to be fixed... but since his introduction... Bloodmoon (well, the old Bloodmoon, not the Bloodmoon based on Ruin's SAMS wiki lore... cause remember. This is Bloodmoon 2.0 with not all his memories in tact.)

He did seem to lament that he had these bloody cravings.

Yeah. I haven't forgotten this episode. Released on the Day of the actual Blood Moon.

(I kinda miss when they used to talk with their hands to convey which twin was which)

It was the first time we as a fanbase realized that his urge to kill is more of an addiction and he has said as much a few times.

And retrospectively, looking back on this episode, (cus at this point I didn't care about bloodmoon back then. It always takes me a bit to warm up to a new SAMS character) Bloodmoon is exceedingly lonely.

He has himself. But that's all. no one will ever really get him or understand him. And I think there's a great lament with that. Being unable to be understood from anyone outside of your twin or 'other'. Yeah, you have eachother, but no one else.

I'm wondering if Bloodmoon 2.0 has this episode in his memories. As he seems to be determined to rip and tear and kill.

My working theory right now is that Nice Eclipse WILL fix Bloodmoon as he wants..... but he'll also fix his cravings.

The best case scenario is that Bloodmoon will only crave shades of red.... and rare steaks....

or... this might cause complications in the duality of their nature, and maybe one of the twins might get broken, with the other needing to be alone for the first time since they woke up.

I don't know. I really think Nice Eclipse will pull through... and give Bloodmoon everything he wants, and more. Because I don't think Eclipse will readily fix Bloodmoon in his entirety and just let a homicidal maniac run loose and terrorizing everyone.

Bloodmoon was the only person Sun felt guilty about, and even Old Moon felt as if Bloodmoon, given enough time and the right circumstances could change.

We also know that Ruin Eclipse is possessed by the Ruin Virus. So he isn't in his right mind, and can easily be redeemed as well. He just needs that virus out of him.

I'm already seeing a lot of parallels with the Eclipse and Lunar takeover. And How Lunar was developing more as a person and strongly learning Eclipse was bad for him and the side of good.

Meanwhile, Bloodmoon is slowly figuring out that he's been used his whole life and he no longer wants to be a weapon for others. The only way he can prevent himself from being a tool in this way, is to not play the game.

Which I think Nice Eclipse is the key.

[blitz0hno]

Why I'm Voting Inno Mikoto even tho He Definitely Did It

or should I say DID i-*🏏smacked*

TL;DR like many I do not believe a word John says, but I also don't think he has the entire truth. Meanwhile Mikoto's amnesia is near undoubtable. With two unreliable narrators and solid evidence of self-defense, I think we need more before declaring him guilty.

I'm here to be Mikoto's lawyer cuz John ily but you suck at it 😭

Now onto why I'm voting Inno:

Mikoto isn't lying when he says he doesn't remember murdering those people, at least not entirely. The memory is in his subconscious, but he can't even remember the faces of his victims because they were both so out of it.

I believe what we see in MeMe is safe to assume to be his first. The first mannequin smashed onscreen is this one:

That looks like a damn FNAF jumpscare lmao this tells me that his baseball hobby probably saved him from getting jumped at that train station, but it came at a heavy price.

That's where John comes in. To handle the feelings that undoubtedly came with taking a life and having to hide the evidence.

Generally in DID alter's memories fall into one of 3 categories (my observations of myself and other systems):

That event happened. These are all the details. I feel nothing about it.

That event happened and I remember everything I felt like it was seconds ago, but I couldn't tell you specifics

That event happened??

The latter two can safely be assigned to John and Bokukoto. The first one is what we're missing.

I saw someone point out how the train could symbolize that he can never go back (credit urself in the tags if u see this it was a good one) to before he killed.

That brings me to our final scene.

Remember how John split to handle the feelings of that stressor? The feeling of unsafety, pure adrenaline, and righteous anger at the attacker is a horrific thing, but once you experience it you change. In order for an alter to handle the reality of something, it must be accepted somehow. John's way of accepting it is not remembering their faces, only his expressions and actions. That's probably why he's so aggressive; constant fight-or-flight mode.

Mikoto (Bokukoto), like with whatever happened to him in early childhood to cause DID, is unable to accept these realities because doing so would shatter his world (it turns out constant fight-or-flight isn't great for your social life).

So about John's statement that he didn't know any of the victims even though he totally did, at least a little;

John is reading the room and there it is: unsafety, pure adrenaline, and righteous anger at the attacker. That's all he needs to feel to know that it's time to protect Mikoto.

That's not the face and mannerisms of a man who bashes skulls in for kicks. This shit was personal.

I can't tell if it's one or two victims in the second clip here, but I strongly believe they had something to do with his work. His subconscious is really harping on how much his boss got on him and how stressed it made him. Something happened that pushed them over the edge. You don't call your mom after you kill for fun (or maybe you do idk). You call your mom when you know you're fucked.

John initiated the second killing but I don't think he was the only one making a conscious decision. That said, I don't have enough details to condemn Mikoto to another unforgiven verdict.

So, where will we find that info? Well remember RGB Mikoto/Trikoto theory (kudos to whoever coined those too)? Well when I broke down the compartmentalization earlier I hinted that there's a strong chance that SOMEONE remembers every detail, but feels nothing and lays dormant.

Good old green Mikoto, the only one we haven't seen speak yet the one who's given us the most detail so far (via MeMe).

Even if not and Bokukoto remembers more than he's letting on/gets in contact with John, the crime itself isn't unforgivable beyond a shadow of a doubt yet even with multiple victims. His reasons are still cloudy.

Also I like him

[runnning-outof-time]

Birmingham | Tommy Shelby x Reader (Part 12)

Previous Part

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: (Y/N) joins the Shelbys at their family event, where she starts to feel like she actually belongs. Things take a sharp turn afterwards, when a surprise raid leaves a new baby without its father, and (Y/N) knows who may be behind it.

Warnings: language, smoking, mentions of drinking, vague descriptions of childbirth

Word Count: 3932

A/N: I’m a bit nervous for this one cuz I’m not sure about it…I hope it’s received well. As usual, the italicized dialogue is taken from the show. Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!

"I'll allow you enough time to go home and come back here before the event starts," Tommy said to (Y/N) after he'd given the basic details of the event that was happening later that evening.

"Why is that necessary?" (Y/N) asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"You'll need a nicer dress on," he answered her, taking that excuse to look her figure over. If she asked why he'd done that, he wouldn't admit to his secondary intentions.

She scoffed at him, the smile making its way onto her features showing that there was no actual harm in his words. "Mr. Shelby! I'm feeling quite insulted by your statement!" she playfully gasped, a hand over her heart for dramatic effect. Tommy chuckled and shook his head at her statement. "Exactly what type of an event am I attending?" she asked for more details then.

"It's a wedding."

"A wedding?" she asked, surprise now present in her voice.

"John's getting married," he answered nonchalantly, as if what he was going to say was obvious.

But it most certainly was not to (Y/N). "John's getting married?" Her eyes were wide now.

"Yeah," Tommy was still nonchalant.

"He found someone?" she asked yet another question. She couldn't recall John having a woman and wondered how much had happened over the month she'd been absent.

"I found him someone," he corrected her.

"Found? What is that supposed to mean? Does he even know this woman?" more questions escaped (Y/N)'s lips before she could slow them down.

"No," Tommy shook his head, continuing before she could jump on him - she certainly looked like she was ready to, "he needs someone to look after his kids...we need a way to settle the feud that's going on between us and the Lee's. This marriage will satisfy both. Esme's a good woman."

(Y/N) listened intently to his explanation, taking some time to let the pieces connect in her mind so that it'd, hopefully, make more sense. "Don't you think it's a little...backwards; medieval, maybe, to be marrying him off like this? You're treating him as if he's your daughter, which he most certainly is not," she pointed out.

"John will understand that this is what's best for the business," he answered her, dismissing her points without giving much thought to them.

(Y/N) pursed her lips and shook her head slightly. She had many thoughts about this major life decision that Tommy had made for his brother without even consulting him. She was sure that he had his reasons, as she's noticed by now that Tommy always does, but she couldn't help but wonder what John would think of the arrangement.

"(Y/N)?" Tommy's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah?" she asked, focusing on him again.

"You didn't hear what I said, did you?" he asked her, the corner of his lips threatening to quirk upwards because he knew her answer already. She didn't give him a verbal one, but instead shook her head as a guilty smile formed on her face. "I'd said that you can go home now so that you'll be able to meet Pol back here...if you still want to go, that is," Tommy restated what he'd said before, then looking at her expectantly.

"No, yeah, I'll head home quickly and do that," (Y/N) nodded, grabbing the rag that she was using to clean down the bartop so that she could put it into the wash bucket.

"Grace, you'll stay here later tonight. Celebration might be in order after everything's finished," Tommy addressed the other woman, who had been wiping down the tables whilst the other two were talking.

"Ok, Tommy," Grace nodded, sending a smile in his direction before she resumed her task.

(Y/N) stuck around for a few more moments to see if there was anything else to be said to her. When silence rang out through the room, she walked out from behind the bar and made her way to the door of the tavern.

——

"Don't you think this is a little backwards, Pol?" (Y/N) asked the older woman as they walked down the streets to the section of Small Heath where the wedding was being held, "you know...Tommy choosing John's wife for him."

Polly pursed her lips as she heard (Y/N)'s statement. She thought about it for a moment before sharing her response, "John's got a lot on his plate with the children he's got running around at home, and this war between families needed to be settled," she kept her response vague, outlining the same points that Tommy had hit, "sometimes business and family intertwine," she added onto the end.

(Y/N) exhaled a slight sigh, still not really able to wrap her head around the situation in its entirety. She couldn’t help but think of the times that her family had done similar things. She really didn’t want to mix the two families, but it certainly was hard not to at the moment.

"This woman will be good for John," Polly told (Y/N). It was almost like she knew what the younger woman was thinking. "We need to make a stop first," she then announced, taking (Y/N)'s arm and leading her down another row of homes.

As they walked on, a familiar face was standing on the sidewalk just outside one of the larger buildings. A smile formed on (Y/N)'s face as she got closer and made out who this person was.

"Are you ready?" Polly asked her niece as she and (Y/N) came to a stop in front of her.

"Ready as I can be," Ada answered, with what seemed to be a faltering smile on her face.

"You look good, Ada," (Y/N) stated, smiling at the brown-haired woman.

"So do you," she returned the compliment, offering a real smile this time. "Shall we go?" she asked then, looking between the other two women. Both Polly and (Y/N) nodded their heads and the three set off to where the ceremony was being held.

—

John was already up at the altar with his bride-to-be when the three women arrived at the ceremony. Polly led them over to where Tommy was standing. She let Ada stay there before she tapped on (Y/N)'s elbow. A silent glance told (Y/N) that she should join her and let the siblings have their space, so the two moved over to the side of the aisle and watched on.

The ceremony was short and sweet, and ended with John and his new bride sharing a kiss to signify their new bond as cheers rang out from both of the families. The celebration started almost immediately after. A band began to play and an upbeat song was being sung.

"Care to share a dance with me, (Y/N)?" Arthur's voice came from over her shoulder, making her turn away from Polly to look at him. She smiled up at him before looking at his hand that was outstretched in her direction. "It won't hurt nothin'," he told her after a few moments had passed.

(Y/N) nodded and stood from her chair, glancing over her shoulder to see Tommy watching her, a cigarette perched between his lips. A part of her wished that it was Tommy who'd asked her to share a dance, but she didn't let herself get hung up on that. Instead, she rested her hand into Arthur's palm and allowed him to lead her out to the dance floor. They began dancing to the upbeat song, wide smiles on both of their faces.

Tommy's eyes stayed focused on (Y/N) as she moved about the makeshift dance floor. Polly and Zilpha were having a conversation next to him, but he was only half-listening to it, his mind focused elsewhere.

On the dance floor, (Y/N) danced with Arthur until Ada swooped in and took her as her partner. Arthur said nothing in response to this and instead just stood off to the side and watched the women dance. It was obvious that Ada had some to drink. She was laughing loudly and singing along to the song, not caring in the slightest that she was out of tune. (Y/N) was laughing along with her, truly enjoying herself for the first time in a while.

The two women danced like that for some time, and Ada's behavior only got more boisterous with each second that passed. When (Y/N) asked Ada the reason behind her desire to let herself loose like this, she quickly brought to attention the fact that she'd been cooped up in a dingy apartment away from everyone and everything, and that she was at her mind's end...she just wanted to have some fun. And fun they had.

Until Tommy came walking over to the dance floor. "Ahh look, (Y/N)!" Ada called out once she noticed that her brother was approaching, "he's coming over for a dance with you!"

(Y/N) froze in her spot and opened her mouth to speak, but was unable to because Tommy had already extended a hand to Ada and was addressing her: "Ada, come on. Have a rest, sit down," he began, speaking in a calm voice in hopes that a big spectacle wouldn't be made.

But, of course, Ada had other plans. "Come and look, Esme," she called to the woman sitting next to John as she stopped dancing and faced Tommy, "come and look at the family you've joined! Come and look at the man who runs it!"

"Ada..." (Y/N) said in a harsh whisper as she took a step closer to the brown-haired woman's side, hoping that she could goad her into stopping before things blew up any further. Ada didn't even bother to break her gaze from Tommy. She had her mind made up, and nothing was going to veer her off of her course.

"He chooses his brother's wives for them! He hunts his own sister down, like a rat, and he tries to kill his own brother-in-law!" she continued, pushing Tommy away as he tried to come closer to her, her volume and emotion rising with each word she spoke.

"Ada, that's enough," Polly said as she moved behind her, her eyes jumping between her niece and (Y/N), who was also trying to get Ada to relax.

"And now he won't even let me have a fucking dance! Not even at a fucking wedding!" she continued on. At this point, the party had come to a halt, and everyone's attention was on what was happening on the dance floor.

"Sit her down!" John chimed into the conversation, now standing behind Polly and (Y/N) with his new bride next to his side. He didn't seem to be happy that this was what his night had come to.

"Calm down, Ada," Polly continued with her attempts.

(Y/N) also joined in, finally able to put her hand on Ada's shoulder without having the other woman knock it away, "let's go and sit again, yeah? We'll take a little rest and come back to dancing again soon," she tried to get her to leave the situation.

Ada didn't say anything in response, but instead bent over and rested her hands on her knees, her breaths coming out in pants. Things got silent for a moment as Polly bent down with her. "Holy shit. Water. Right," she breathed out, her eyes wide as she stood up again.

This caused a different wave of emotion to sweep over the group that was now huddled together. "Not now, Ada," Arthur groaned, immediately knowing what his aunt was getting at, "bloody hell, you do pick your times."

Everyone started talking at once as (Y/N) and Polly managed to stand Ada upright again and spin her around so that they could leave the space. Tommy joined in behind them, placing a hand on his sister's back as they walked her over to where the family's car was parked.

"Go with Ada, (Y/N)," Tommy said from behind the group as they were approaching the car. She turned to look at him and nodded instead of verbally responding. She knew that she'd be going with her if he hadn't asked her to.

Ada had gone silent now, only letting out whimpers and groans as they walked. (Y/N) couldn't calm the adrenaline coursing through her as she walked...she never expected the night to turn out like this.

—

Polly had left the apartment, and only (Y/N) was left to watch over Ada, whose contractions had been coming at a steady pace since they'd left the wedding. Things were quiet until Esme came walking into the apartment. The three women stared at each other before Esme walked over to where the other two were sitting. Nothing could be said before Polly was calling up to them.

Her footsteps were heard rushing towards the room and there was a smile on her face when she came through the door. "Freddie'll be coming," she said, happiness evident in her words.

Ada exhaled a sigh that was a mixture of relief and happiness upon hearing these words, a tired smile forming on her face as she tried to steady her breathing. "I think...I think I need to push, Pol," she then panted out, making the three ladies come and circle around her.

"Alright, let's push," Polly said, and things took off from there.

(Y/N) tried to help the best she could, but it was obvious that she had little to no knowledge in the birthing department compared to these women. When Esme felt that the baby was facing the wrong way, (Y/N) immediately stepped into the support role, telling Ada that things would be fine and would work out in her favor. She helped hold her up as she moved to sit up on her knees, and the real pushing began. She hoped that it wouldn't last long, and hated seeing her friend in such pain.

"It's not much longer now, Ada. Alright, push," Polly talked her through the process, and soon enough, the sound of a child's cries were mixed in with Ada’s screams.

(Y/N) moved away from the other women to grab a smaller blanket so that Esme could wrap the baby up into it and get it cleaned off. "You did it," she said to Ada, who was taking deep breaths and trying to calm down from the experience she'd just gone through.

"Can you go see if the baby’s ok?" Ada asked (Y/N) in a shaky voice, and (Y/N) nodded, smiling before she stood up and moved over to where Esme was cleaning up the baby.

"How is the baby?" she asked as she got to the table.

"He's fine; healthy with no problems," Esme answered while working on wrapping the baby up with a fresh blanket.

"That's good to hear," (Y/N) replied, smiling down at the baby.

"Are you a Shelby as well?" Esme asked then, turning to look at (Y/N) once the baby had been swaddled.

"No, I'm not," (Y/N) answered, shaking her head. She was a bit taken back by the sudden question.

"Are you with one of the brothers?" Esme asked another question.

"No," (Y/N)'s answer was the same as before, though this one was said quicker than she'd have liked to.

"You seem pretty close to them," it still seemed as though things weren't making sense in Esme's mind.

"They've taken me in and made me feel safe here," (Y/N) gave her a short backstory of her history with the Shelby family. She figured that if there'd be a better time, she'd give the longer version, but now she just wanted to hand her friend her baby. Esme only nodded in response to (Y/N)'s answer, her eyes showing that she still had more questions on the matter, like (Y/N) had suspected she would.

Ada had moved over to the table after Polly was finished checking her, and took her baby into her arms after she'd sat down at one of the chairs. (Y/N) smiled as she watched Ada stare lovingly at the little bundle. Silence fell in the room then, and a calm washed over the women. No one spoke until Ada's name was being yelled from outside. Moments later, Freddie walked through the door of the apartment.

"It's a boy, Freddie," Ada announced, smiling at her husband as she turned to face him.

A wide smile appeared on Freddie's face as he moved over to sit by Ada. "It's a beautiful baby boy," he started as he reached out to touch the baby. Ada laughed softly as she leaned over at transfered the baby to his arms, "there you go. Welcome to the world, son," he said softly as he smiled down at the sleeping child.

The moment of reverie was broken by the sound of heavy knocking on the door. "Open up! Police!" could be heard from outside as the knocking continued. Everyone in the apartment froze. (Y/N) stayed in the corner as the police burst through the door and immediately went for Freddie. He tried to fight, but they overpowered him, and all that he could do was yell for Ada as they pulled him out of the apartment.

(Y/N) pulled Ada into a hug as she looked over at Polly, who was now looking like she wanted to rip someone's head off. "I need to go speak to Tommy," Polly said, looking briefly at the other women in the room before she moved to the door and exited the apartment.

The remaining women stayed frozen in their spots after Polly left, shocked and unsure of what to do next. "I...I think I need to go and make sure that Polly will be alright," (Y/N) broke the silence, and the other two women nodded their heads. She wanted to stay with Ada and Esme, but something was telling her to follow Polly to wherever she was going. So she rushed out of the apartment to catch up with Polly while the adrenaline coursed through her again...she never expected the night to turn out like this.

—

"Don't you dare look at me like that!" (Y/N) heard Polly scream from inside the Garrison as she rushed through its doors. As she entered the main bar room, she found Polly being held back by Arthur and John, and Tommy looking at her with a shock filled expression. A tense silence hung in the air as everyone waited for someone to say the next word. Polly broke it, spitting on the ground before saying "you liar," with venom dripping in her words. Tommy only blinked, probably still trying to process everything as Polly shook herself from her nephews' hold and stalked her way into the snug.

John and Arthur went to join her, shock also present on both of their faces. This left Tommy, Grace and (Y/N) standing in the main room. (Y/N) looked between the two, seeing an unreadable look on the other woman's face. Tommy's eyes found (Y/N)'s briefly before they dropped to the floor. He then turned and began walking to the back office.

(Y/N) stood still for a few moments before she also began walking to the backroom, something telling her that she should go speak with Tommy. "It's (Y/N)," she announced herself as she walked through the office's doorway.

Tommy had only made it halfway into the room before he had stopped and gripped onto his head with his hands. He was pushing his thumbs into his temples as he took deep breaths, trying to keep himself calm while also trying to figure out how this situation had come about. It was getting harder by the second to stop his mind from spiraling.

"Tommy..." she called out to him as she stepped closer to him, "what's going on?" she asked him once she was standing in front of him.

"I don't know," he breathed out, his hands still gripping at the ends of his hair, "I don't know what happened."

"With Freddie?" she hazarded a guess, her voice coming out soft so that he wouldn't think she was accusing him.

"Yes, with Freddie...with fucking everything," he answered, "I don't know what happened, but it wasn't me. I didn't send the coppers to Ada's."

"Who could it have been then?"

"I don't know...I don't know who," he answered her, his hands starting to shake against his head as his mind was still swarming with the possibilities of the scenarios that could have happened.

"Tommy..." (Y/N) trailed off when she noticed this shift, "hey, look at me," she said softly as she reached out and grabbed hold of his forearms so that she could pull his hands away from his face. He allowed her to, and she felt her heart drop the second she saw his wild, worried eyes.

"I don't know who it was, (Y/N)," he breathed again, shaking his head slightly as he exhaled shaky breaths, "but my family thinks it was me and I don't know how to change their mind."

(Y/N) nodded along as he conveyed what was going on in his mind, "hey, look at me, Tommy," she said, taking hold of his face and bringing him closer so that their foreheads were touching. Immediately she saw something change in his eyes, a bit of calmness washing over the worriedness the moment their skin touched. She stared at them for a few moments before she spoke again, "it wasn't you...I know it wasn't you." She didn't have concrete proof of this, but she believed him. She'd never seen him react like this before.

"Tom?! Tommy!" came from the hallway, breaking the silence in the room, "we found out who did it!" John was visible in the doorway seconds later.

(Y/N) and Tommy broke from each other, and Tommy was focused on his brother in a matter of seconds. "Who? Who was it?" he anxiously asked.

"It was that fucking Irish inspector, Chester Campbell. He and his coppers picked up Freddie...we got one of our men to tell us that he got an anonymous tip telling him where the apartment was," Arthur explained, walking into the room behind John.

Tommy swore to himself before he turned to look at (Y/N), who nodded her head, silently telling him to go with his brothers. He nodded back at her before the three rushed out of the office.

(Y/N) stood in the office, alone for a few moments. She needed a moment to think over everything that had happened over this short amount of time. As she pieced together the events of the night, something became evident to her. There was a voice screaming in her head, telling her that she knew exactly how this had happened. She knew of an Irishman named Chester, and of someone who could have provided that tip...and she honestly wouldn’t put it past that someone to provide that tip.

Sure, it could be a longshot, but right now she needed to talk to the woman who would have the answers. When she exited the office, she found the bar area empty, which meant that the person she wanted to talk to had left.

(Y/N) quickly left the Garrison for her apartment, hoping that she'd find the blonde-haired woman there. But after knocking a handful of times and coming up with nothing, she realized that having the conversation that night was a lost cause. So she returned to her apartment with her mind swirling from the possibilities and the adrenaline...she never expected the night to turn out like this.

Next Part

Tagged: @mgcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @l1-l4 @chlorrox @lostgirl219 @woofgocows @bdudette @mrkdvidal1989 @stephhevring @fictional-hooman @httyd-marauders @nataliewalker93 @rangerelik @thecraziestcrayon @lora21 @cilliansangel @shaddixlife

SERIES MASTERLIST

[leonsliga]

https://x.com/iMiaSanMia/status/1711361038514327611?s=20

there's just no way Leon condones abuse or excuses it cuz "friendship" right? he personally must have some reason to believe Boateng is innocent. There's just no way, Leon, who openly stands up, bravely, against everything wrong in the world, without hesitation, excuses Boateng's behaviour. there's no way. my morals and ethics feel triggered. cuz I don't see a reason yet, not based on his actions and what he's done for the world and the world of football, to stop liking him. idk. What do you think bri?

TW: brief mentions of abuse (i.e. context on the Boateng situation)

I had a feeling the press was gonna ask Leon for his take on the Boateng situation eventually, and truth be told, I'm left feeling a lot like how you described: confused, frustrated, and just all around off. I won't lie, I love Leon; I'm a huge fan of his, that's no secret, and I'm aware that that makes me incredibly biased. That said, his comments left a really bad taste in my mouth.

Ever since the Boateng trial (and even before that), I've found their friendship a really tough pill to swallow. After everything, I struggle to comprehend how he can just...ignore all of that? I mean, surely he's heard all the news surrounding the man. Surely he knows Boateng was convicted. Leon's many things, but he's not oblivious and he's not stupid. It's hard not to feel like he’s making himself out to be a hypocrite, considering everything he stands for and everything he positions himself so clearly against. Maybe he knows something we don't or holds beliefs behind the scenes that we don't know about...I don't know. But I've made a promise to myself in writing this blog that I wouldn't pretend to have the answers when I don't. And I won't pretend. I have no answers. I can speculate, but I have zero clue what was going on in Leon's head when he made these comments, no matter how much I may wish I did.

My morals and ethics feel triggered too, if I'm honest. It's hard for them not to. I feel hurt and I hate that I feel that way, considering he's a man I've never met. I just...I'm really struggling to wrap my head around the possibility that Leon Goretzka, the man who's always advocated strongly for women's rights, could still be friends with a man found guilty of assaulting his girlfriend. I want to believe he's better than that. I get that as human beings we can be prone to blind spots in our values and judgment, but this is a pretty glaring blind spot if it’s true…I think we can all agree. I'm trying my best to process this, but it's hard to process his comments when we don't know what he was thinking when he said them. Pretty much the only context we had going into this was that he and Boateng were close at some point. How close are they now? It's hard to tell, but these comments lead me to assume they're still, at the very least, cordial with one another. I guess it's good he stated that in the end, he respects the club's decision, and recognizes it was a decision they had to make, but it doesn't really do anything to soften the blow of anything he said prior to that.

To clarify, just because I'm a Leon-focused blog doesn't mean I agree with what Leon said. I wouldn't be happy if Boateng had rejoined the club. I think even considering allowing Boateng to play for the club as Bayern did, even though he was tried and found guilty, is morally reprehensible. I'm just struggling with Leon's statement a lot as a fan of his and I need to write out my thoughts to process things. He's been my comfort person for a long time now, and so I'm finding it really hard to define where I stand beyond fundamentally disagreeing with his comments (and possible support?) towards Boateng.

We play a dangerous game when we throw our support to footballers, I know that. In our unconditional appreciation of them, they can turn around and let us down. And I won't lie, I do feel let down. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I think it's more than ok to feel that way, just like I think it's ok that it'll take us time to process what happened and come to our own conclusions. We care about him, even if it is just a parasocial relationship, and that's not nothing. I can tell you that at the moment, I feel profoundly disappointed, no matter how hard I try to understand—the way we all try to understand when people we support let us down in some way. I want answers that I know I probably won't ever get.

So yeah. There's my very long-winded non-answer. I'm sorry...I wish I had more definitive thoughts on the matter, apart from the initial hurt and disappointment. But this is all I have for now. I’d love to hear what you guys think, but please be kind, ok?

[genderqueer-miharu]

Thinking more about mahiru's mental space in both of her MVs and, i know most people interpret these as a representation of her toxic relationship, and i'm not gonna say that's not the case but more than that i think it represents more her ideas and mentality when it comes to love.

Both the birdcage and the idealized segments of the caroussel look cute, bright and colorful, and the birdcage in particular looks comfy, it has a couch, blankets, pillows and it's nicely decorated too. This is what love looks like to her, even the title of her first song alludes to this "This Is How To Be In Love With You", it can be taken in many different ways but in this context, the song and her mv show us what love looks like to her, and how she loves.

However, both the birdcage and the caroussel have a thing in common, when she's on them mahiru is stuck. Inside the birdcage she's trapped and can't escape, and on the caroussel, she's constantly spinning in place, riding on a game that looks fun but that ultimately doesn't go anywhere. And from her first mv it is shown that she's aware how harmful this view of love she has is, not only to herself but also to others

She looks out the cage, hesitating about her place inside of it and admiring what's out there, only for her to jump right back into the same couch as before. Because this is all she's known love to be, she's made this place for herself and it's comfy for her, on her first mv she questions her views on love and wonders if maybe what she's done this whole time was a bad thing after all. But in I Love You this hesitation is gone

The mv starts with her once again, questioning her views on love and what she believes, but just like last time she goes back to that couch inside her place, this time looking rough and old, as lines like these play

"Kiss good-bye to this feeling cuz it’s too heavy? I can’t, no way no way no way"

"What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me"

She's recognizing how this mentality of hers is harmful, but she doesn't want to let it go, she doesn't want to get out, she's only being herself after all, if she can't have this then she won't have anything that will give her this feeling, she won't have anything to live for so she will keep on loving like this, no matter how ugly it actually is, somthing illustrated in the mv with the caroussel changing from this elegant, bright and cute idealized appearence to a more ugly, run-down and old one

She now knows her love and her views on love are harmful and dangerous. She knows that she killed someone

"My lethal weapon: “This is how to be in love with you”"

But she doesn't care how damaging and harmful it is for her and for others anymore, she doesn't care if she or someone else gets hurt as a result of her actions, because this is the only way she knows how to be herself

"What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”"

Her doubts and hesitation regarding her mentality have been confirmed with her guilty veredict, but she doesn't care anymore, she acknowledges now how bad her views are, but this is all she's known, this is the only way she knows how to be herself, this is what makes her see the world in such a bright and sparkly way so she can't bear to abandon it. So she won't, she will keep on loving like this no matter if she gets hurt, even if other people tell her she's wrong, even if other people get trapped and stuck with her, she won't change who she is.

[fearyandear]

Toxic Tsundere Yandere Childhood Friend Blurb

A friend got me into a childhood friend kick.

Thinking about tsundere yandere best friend who realized in middleschool how toxic his dependance on you was so he tried to put distance between you both by getting mad at you for following him and insisting on sitting separately. It lasted a week before he saw you laughing with new friends and he couldn't take it, he scooped you back up. After lots of fights and him repeating the cycle of pushing you away then pulling you forcefully back in, you felt you got the hang of it and domt take his harshness as personal anymore.

"I told you to stop asking me to be your partner for projects! You need to branch out more!!'

'Shut up. You know I won't.'

'... what are you gonna do when I'm not around, fucking christ.'

'I'll decide what to do then. But for now, you're here, and you're my best option. You'll always be my best option.'

'... you're gonna regret saying that one day.'

'I doubt it cuz it's true.'

You keep sitting next to him, you keep following him, you keep making friends with him by your side, hand in hand, because despite his protests, you know that's what he wants.

It's really getting to his head. He feels so good, and so GUILTY.

Once highschool comes, his tactics turn more vicious and volatile.

He's gonna insult you at school in front of everyone at any given chance, embarrassing you a lot of the time. Then, he'll turn around and do stuff you've never done before like 'granting you permission' to sit on his lap for the pep rally, his arms not letting you go even when a teacher almost notices. You've told him off countless times, but it's like talking to a wall. Arguments always end with 'So what then? Are you sick of me?'

You aren't. You can't be. He's your best friend. Every time, he has to hide his grin.

He's found a loophole to keep you close and still be able to tell himself that he tried getting you away. Deep down, he knows you won't leave him.

You're stuck.

[mstrickster]

We've all read fics about Adam getting hurt... but how does Adam react when Charlie gets hurt? Bc it's hockey so it's going to happen. How does he react in the moment, on the ice? How does he react afterward when the damage is done and Charlie has to heal?

Oooo this is a good question. So there's one of two situations where Charlie would get hurt. The first would be if he was blocking an attack intended for Adam. Another would be if he was on a real hot streak and they were just gunning for him. So I'm going to cover both scenarios.

So I feel like if Charlie got hurt protecting Adam, Adam would feel so guilty. Because since they were targeting Adam, we know it wouldn't be a tiny jab like it would be a sent off the ice almost unconscious hit. However I feel like Adam would try to hold back while he was in front of people. Especially if he and Charlie weren't together or weren't out. So he would want to Sprint across the rink but he would intentionally say back until Charlie was off the ice.

And knowing him, he would try to go back to the game, but he would just play awfully. Cuz all he's thinking about is Charlie and how he's hurt. So he would get pulled off near the end of the game. So, he would just sit there and kinda watch. I think his mind would be racing.

I can imagine him not wanting to shower or even change, just wanting to like run to where Charlie was. Coach Orion would stop him for a second to make sure he was OK and tell him where Charlie was.

After that Adam would be going to wherever Charlie was being held whether it was the infirmary or their room. I can picture him not wanting to touch Charlie when he first sees him again cuz he's worried about hurting him. However Charlie gets frustrated by that because he's like "why you acting weird."

So, I could actually see it being Charlie who pushes Adam to kind of hug him and like kind of break down. Cuz Charlie would know what to say to make Adam feel safe enough that he could tell him how he was feeling.

Charlie would do his damndest to tell Adam it is not his fault. However, Adam would still feel guilty. He would probably be really careful with Charlie while he healed. To the point where Charlie gets annoyed by it. I could see it leading to an argument. Where Charlie has to call him out and be like, "I am not some weak little thing, and you got to let me live even though I'm hurt." Which finally allows Adam to kind of let go and forgive himself.

In the second scenario, I could see it being when Charlie is professional and he's not skating with any of the other ducks. So Adam is either watching from the stand or watching on a TV. So if he's in a safe space like if he's in one of the ducks's home if he is around like his friends he will break down he will freak out cuz he doesn't know what's happening. I could see them being separated like in different states. So Adam is kind of just beside himself, and it's on the other Ducks to be like, okay, let's figure out what we can do.

In this scenario, it pretty much goes the same way, like Adam is desperate to get to Charlie. However, I could see him more being Snappy when they finally got together like he'd be relieved. However, he would also go "don't ever fucking do that to me again," and "you scared the crap out of me."

In the scenario, I could kind of see Adam being like a doting housewife in a way. Because Charlie doesn't usually get hurt, so he's like, "You stay in bed. You don't move. You listen to the doctor. You listen to me."

This leads Charlie to tease him, which Adam ignores because, at least, it means Charlie's going to be okay.

[warmtoastedbread]

Can you do a headcannon for Levi? 😅 Idk what headcannon is there for Levi. You can choose headcannon for me. I’m running out of headcannons 🥲

╔════▣◎▣════╗

Leviathan x Reader

Get's a little angsty but then it goes back to being fluffy.

Gender neutral reader

HC: Levi being insecure about your relationship.

A/N: I'm really glad you asked for this cuz I was already thinking of doing something for him :D This is what I had in my drafts so I hope it fits even though it's a one shot and not a head cannon.

Link to my request board->

╚════▣◎▣════╝

Dating Leviathan.

At the beginning of the relationship Levi was terrified of touching you, hell even being next to you in class knowing you were his girlfriend left his face blooming, even though you two mostly ignore eachother.

It stayed like that for the first month so Levi could adjust to your new relationship but you were getting a little restless. You wanted to tell him how cute he is and hold his sweet little face!

So during potions class when you sat next to him, you passed a note asking him if you two could link pinkies. He opened the note and panicked. He looked away and nodded so quickly you almost missed it.

Your pinkies where linked under the desk and you felt soft. Happiness bloomed in your chest and you felt so happy you could be affectionate with him even in such a small way.

Levi smacked his head against the table and everyone looked at him. He felt even more embarrassed that he cracked the table. "Leviathan..?" The teacher called out to him with concern. "...Are you okay?"

He screeched that he was sorry and hurried off to the restroom. You had your hand over your face struggling not to laugh as your classmates looked at you. You politely apologized for the interruption and got permission to look for Leviathan.

He felt horrible. He caused such a scene in class and embarrassed you. You probably wanted to break up with him with how weird he acts! He sat himself down by the bench you two usually had lunch at. It was in a secluded hallway that barely anyone walked through.

He felt so guilty for making you ashamed of him. You probably realise how weird he is. He hated this. This change you caused in his life. He actually does more than the minimum attendance at school just to see you! He's not smart, good looking or even funny. Levi let out a little sniffle.

He adores you. You're everything he's not, so how could you love someone like him? Levi started wiping his face with his sleeves as he let out choked sobs. Why did he have to be like this?

You had just visited the nearby toilets to look for him and now you on your way to familiar spots you two frequented. You peaked around the corner when you heard sniffling. Levi was.. crying?

You let out a soft sigh. Your heart broke at seeing him cry."Hey Levi." You were careful to talk gently. You didn't want to spook him.

He looked up at you from his spot on the floor. "W-what are y-you doing here?" He looked down, feeling shame wash over him when he realised you were missing out on an important topic in class. "You should be in class right now."

His eyes were puffy and his face was red. You could see the damp spots on his sleeves where he had been wiping his face with. You sat down infront of him reaching out to hold his face.

He lightly pushed away your hand, "Go away. You should just forget about me."

"You know I couldn't do that." You two sat there in silence for a minute. "Hey, let's talk. Do you wanna tell me what's wrong?" You put your hands on his shoulders to try and comfort him.

He frowned at the floor. "Why do you like me?"

Somehow iyoi softened even more,"You really wanna know?" He looked at you nodding.

"Because I see a man who is incredibly passionate and fun. Someone who is so incredibly determined to do and learn new things. You're so much fun to hang out with and you are incredibly handsome." You pulled the stunned man into a hug and finished with, "I love you Levi."

Levi's eyes started to tear up again and he hugged you back, sobbing. In a barely audible whisper he said,"..please don't leave me...I love you so much." He gripped your shirt from under the school blazer making it wrinkle.

You two sat there until Levi's crying died down and you pulled out of the hug. "Are you feeling any better?" He nods lightly and you tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. "How about we take an early lunch and go grab some food at Hell's kitchen?"

Levi smiled softly, a calm washing over his body at your voice. "What about our bags?" Neither of you cared and he knew that.

You smiled brightly at him."Well, I have my wallet on me, so we can go get it a bit before lunch ends."

You two stood up. Levi dusted himself off and you asked, "Hey Levi?" He looked up at you to continue, "Could I hold your hand?"

His face went a pretty rose colour. He let out a "Mmh." and held his hand out to you. You grabbed it and led him out of RAD.

━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━

Bonus:

Lucifer later scolds you for ditching class but then dismisses it when you explain what happen.

━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━◦◎◦━

If you got this far like and follow for more obey me fics!

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

(Nsfw content) hey so feel free to completely ignore this ask, but I think u have good inputs I'd like to know Ur thoughts about this, if it's okay.

So this is about fanfic right. For context, I am a cis woman and I struggle with CSA trauma. Writing erotica has been very freeing to me these past few years. Now the thing is, I can't exactly point to the reason why, but specifically in fictional erotica, when I write men it's always men with female genitalia. Not that I can't read about guys and dicks in general, it's just not something I feel comfortable writing. Now, I feel a bit weird about tagging any of that as "trans characters" because it doesn't feel fair to lump what I write with actual representation (even though if trans men enjoy what I write they are more than welcome to ofc).

Basically I'm not trying to write actual trans men and represent their struggles, or even their bodies realistically (I also find it a bit ehhh that in fandom spaces "trans man" has come to be synonyms with = "has a vagina" but I digress).

So with that in mind, I have come full circle and I'm noticing I'm back at feeling guilt and shame about what I write... much like I used to feel when I started writing/reading erotica. I feel guilty of writing that type of thing because in a way I fear it may come off as fetishization. That's not what I'm trying to do though, I realize this is mostly a fictional kink that doesn't correlate with how I view actual trans people irl. But the guilt is still there.

I'd like to know your thoughts about this. Do you think this is hurtful for trans people? For me to not tag that content as "trans" specifically? That I write that content? Am I alienating trans people? Are there better ways to go about this? Sorry if this is a lot of questions. My brain really wants me to feel ashamed of my sexuality and sexual desires so sometimes it's hard to have a clear idea of what's going on, if I'm actually doing something harmful or if it's just my brain being mean to me.

Sorry for the long ask, and again feel free to completely ignore it.

I mean, fanfic isn't really representation to begin with if you ask me. So by writing it, you aren't representing anyone. Besides, the purpose of your story isn't to describe trans people's struggle, so I don't think you need to go out of your way to "properly portray" said struggle/issues.

If we were to deny people right to write about groups they aren't apart of, we'd lose any chance at exploring each other's experiences. Like, you have every right to write a trans character. It's not illegal or wrong. I also don't think you have some moral obligation to make sure your portrayal is perfect cuz 1. There isn't any perfect portrayal of any experience or group of people and 2. Writing isn't always about doing that anyways.

So long as you're not coming with ill intentions to write something that you actively DESIRE to hurt some group with (this is how propaganda works) then I think you're fine to write whatever you want. Especially when it comes to fanfic which is written for FUN. Enjoy yourself. It's fine.

As for the tagging. I don't read much fanfic anymore. But I think the general rule of thumb is to be sure triggers are tagged. Whether you tag ship names, trans, or other tags is fully up to you. As a trans man, I don't think I'd care either way? Just do what makes you comfortable. You aren't hurting anyone by writing fanfics. Especially not what you described above.

You might get people who misunderstand, but genuinely that's fine. It's important to learn how to accept that some people will take what you do in life the wrong way. You can explain yourself, but ultimately it's best to just move on. Talk it out with someone you trust, reassure yourself, and continue your life. You can't please everyone so just make sure you can make yourself happy. Ya know? If these writings make you happy, don't let some random person get you down. You're not hurting anyone, or actively trying to bring down the trans community. You, as one person, couldn't actually do that anyways. It's ok. Take a breath and keep writing.

Summary: you're ok. You're not hurting anyone by writing fanfiction.

[oshisanbignaturals]

hello!

I saw your enstars x bee and puppycat au art and I really love the idea!

would not have thought of it but it's so perfect ahh

am curious if you have more thoughts on it?

I was thinking that maybe Kaoru and Rei would both be in Deckard's role in the sense that they both care about Adonis

Rei is the one who originally helped Adonis find a job but it unfortunately didn't work out and Kaoru is sort of the goofy dork who's also insecure/anxious about the future (like how Deckard was about cooking school I think?) :]

but yeah, simply an idea rotating in my head. hope it's alright to ask you :0

Hi !! :3

First off, thank u for sending me this !! it makes me really happy that others r enjoying the same things as me, esp if it's my self-indulgent stuff HAHA. I've been thinking of this ask n giggling n kicking my feet ngl

Second YES !!! I had ideas for rei n kaoru taking care of adonis in a sense. Sorry in advance cuz my writing is all over the place LOL…..

My idea for rei was that he was the one who helped adonis get back in the swing of things by giving him a place to stay n helping him find a job. I had planned for rei to let adonis live in his house since he would be gone often doing ~business~ n he needed someone to ‘take care of his house.’ Also knowing that ado would prob feel guilty abt living in his home for free, he tells ado to get a job in order to ‘pay rent’. <- I've put them in quotes because it's only what he says. In reality, rei doesn’t need the money or a house caretaker, he just wants adonis to experience life outside since ado had a sheltered upbringing and give him something to do (landlord rei era???) I also wanted all of this to be a favour rei is doing for an old friend

For kaoru I wanted him to be a big brother figure to ado (?) like a guy whos close to him in age that he can somewhat relate to n learn from. I'm glad u suggested him being unsure of his future like deckard cuz I was feeling a lil stumped with him HAHAHA. I think it'd be interesting to bring in the fact that since he's the only human in the squad, he feels that he doesn’t have the same amount of time as other members. This results in him feeling conflicted abt staying in their small idyllic town instead of pursuing a higher education/career outside like many ppl his age, even if he is already enjoying his current free-spirited lifestyle. I also see him as an inspiration for ado who wants to live as a human and as someone he respects.

Ummm that should be the gist of it.... I'm sorry if it's weird, writing isn’t exactly my strong suit 😭 😭 😭 I'll prob change it down the line if I can think of something better HAHA but anyway here’s a relationship chart that summarises everyone’s feelings towards each other

Again thank u for being interested in this au !! I love hearing ppls thoughts so if u or anyone else want to share them feel free to let me know !!! <3333

[lunaticus-platina]

Another relationship rambling about Travis x my oc because why not. How they react to each other's and their own near death experience.

Now that I think about it. All BK does as he bleeds out would either be:

A. Jokes about current situation

B. Weakly, albeit jovially, humming and muttering 'Died in your arms tonight' by Cutting Crew

All the while Travis is working himself up to the state of hysteria as he's trying to keep him alive. He'll only turn serious after Travis finally loses his composure and shows distress. Even then he'll act all nonchalant like the entirety of the front of his shirt isn't soaking wet with his own blood. The bastard.

But if the table is turned? He'll literally fireman carry the man who's 6'0" and zoom through the forest like a jet. Break into whatever car he could find and break several traffic laws like a maniac he is, rush into the hospital carrying T over his shoulder, make up any bs excuses he needs to explain the situation, cover all the medical bills, and wouldn't fucking leave the hospital. He'd climb a tree near T's room just so he could see him through the window and keep watch during the night.

Bet Travis never had anyone looking out for him. It's always the other way around. Must be nice to be cared for for once. But he'll also be kinda awkward, having his personal loyal guard dog, who jokes around like he got a screw loose in his head but turns sharp as a razor at a moment's notice. Someone who regards him as their priority. I wonder how T will react to that. All the self-deprecation will fall on deaf ears, 'cuz Lumber will have none of that.

'I don't need you saving me!'

'If I don't care who will?'

'Nobody!'

'I AM nobody, Travis.'

BK knows how the self-isolation works. The imposter syndrome, feeling of inadequacy, letting others take you for granted, etc. And he lets T know that he can't push him away that easily, that he's a lot tougher than many people and lets it shown as plain as day.

We all know Trav got self-worth issue, and guilt kills him day by day, but Lumber won't give a fuck. Needs a company? He'll be there. Needs hands? Say no more. He'll come up with a sledge hammer slung over his shoulder, and slam it into Travis' walls like the Berlin wall collapsing. 'Ride or die' personification. T will have hard time wrapping his head around how on board Lumber is with most things he does, even though he himself knows some of his plans are downright stupid, and dangerous.

It makes him guilty, to which Lumber always remarks without a fail, 'I chose this.' He always chooses Travis, which leaves the man baffled. Even in the face of death BK would be his usual self, cracking jokes, being a cheeky ass, saying it got nothing to do with T, trying to make it easier for him.

Travis will point that out one day, about him being a hypocrite, about how he didn't let himself be at ease a single time while Travis recovered.

'I'm not the one with morals, sir. You are.'

'My moral compass has seen better days.'

'And it still works, good as new. You are a good man. No really, you are! Bad man doesn't care as much as you do. Doesn't suffer as much as you do for the sins he committed. You are a good man. Can't tell me otherwise.'

Lumber will tell him all about how his mere presence fuels his fire, the heat that keeps him determined. 'You won't pull me down even if you tried. You keep me strong. I could forget all the pain in the world by just being with you and you don't even know it.'

Travis gets and keeps his supportive boyfriend 'cuz I say so.

[thequeenoffishburrito]

(This is just going to be some autistic rambling over here. I tried to word this properly and make it sound coherent but really it's a mess and kind of apparent i dont fully know wtf I'm trying to talk about so feel free to ignore. I just had to get these thoughts out of my brain cuz on one hand I feel like I'm going crazy like I cant be the only one who sees it but maybe I'm just dumb who knows.)

If I have one grievance with Elphelt in strive it's that her throwback skin (skin 2) is a bit of a let down.

Like this is her regular outfit/skin

White hair with pink jacket and accessories. Beautiful, they go together, immaculate.

Like the majority of the strive cast, her strive outfit is a MAJOR change from her previous design and the outfit looks more like normal everyday clothes you can find in a store rather than a costume with extra elements sewn ontop of it. (Doesnt mean I dislike her xrd deisgn tho, the opposite actually, I absolutely LOVE IT and is one of the reasons I got into guilty gear to begin with) .

Now when she was announced of course I had hoped shed get a callback to her old design and of course they did!!! However I have some issues with it...

Now it seems fine for the most part, white with pink accents/elements, which normally yes, should work, but the white jacket on white dress, (not to mention she has white wrist bracelets even though her chocker is pink) doesn't look that all great. It's all too white.

Like I get it, they want to keep the colour scheme like her xrd deisgn, but her xrd design is supposed to be reminiscent of wedding dress. The white long sleeves she has are supposed to be the fighting game equivalent of wearing a shrug/bolero to go with the dress.

In strive she's a death metal singer, thus sporting a leather jacket, choker/wrist bands fingerless gloves, and shes covered in spikes (though the petticoat puffing up her skirt also adds a bit of a "cutesy idol" look).

My point I'm trying to make is unlike a her xrd design where the white shrug goes well with the white dress, blending together in a sense, here it's like more apparent they're 2 pieces and because there isnt enough pink on it, it just doesnt look that great. I understand the sentiment of not wanting to put a full pink jacket but I feel like they could've still added some pink accents to it. (Apologises for the shitty edit below)

If they just added pink accents under the jacket and maybe even made her bracelets/thigh highs pink it would've looked SOOO much better imo because M A N. I love her xrd design so much, and while I love strive deisgn I missed her pink hair and seeing the throwback skin made me a little sad.

Tldr, idk who at arc system works did the throwback skin for elphelt in strive but they shouldve added pink accents to the jacket and such cuz the white on white hurts my eyes.

[dosbbs]

Here we go!

(L)I'm excited about trying to get this rolling. So! I guess here we go; this is the older brown sister of the two. My name is Lidia and I've been around for roughly 30ish years. I don't appreciate getting older at this moment because I'm struggling to figure out who the hell I am. I know this isn't new for girls my age, but it's really getting to me recently. I don't want to let myself down and I don't want to let my family/friends down. I know they have my back 1000% but I still have linger internal feeling of not deserving their support. If I had everything figured out then maybe id feel more deserving of it. I just my two weeks in last week and the amount of guilt I feel waxes and wanes. I feel super guilty one minute and the next Im thinking what the heck am I still doing there they don't need me. It really is a vicious cycle and Im not a fan.

I am lucky enough to live with my partner and have him to come home to. He provides some reassurance to my existence and I've very grateful for that. Now! Why the heck are we starting this blog? Because we know we aren't alone. There are plenty of brown girls strugging out there. My sister is also going through massive change and direction. I am glad I can be there for her when she gives me the chance, I know I sometimes hide away or go silent when I don't want to bother her or my family with the things going on in my lil cabeza.

I know this is just the tip of this hot mess express iceberg, but if you wanna read or relate come along for the ride. It's an interesting Thurs evening. I've been running around, cleaned the house a bit and will head out to eat some Mexican food with my partner. I have work tomorrow and it's bittersweet. It's my last full-time weekend and I am lucky enough to not have to jump right back into another 9-5pm. I can take a moment to catch my breath....cuz girl! I am fucking exhausted. I'll be back!