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buddiebeginz · 3 years

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After reading this thread that does a good job giving a quick run down on Buck and Eddie’s journey up until this point like where they’ve been separately and where they are now, I got to thinking about some things especially where Ana and Taylor are concerned.

I was so frustrated earlier in the season when I felt like the show kept shoving Ana and Taylor in our faces and I kept thinking that this was the shows way of saying Buddie was doa and they were moving on but I don’t think that’s the case at all anymore. While it might have seemed on the surface that Eddie and Buck were off doing their own separate things when you look at season 4 as a whole everything with the guys as been connected especially the stuff with Ana and Taylor. They weren’t brought back so Eddie and Buck could have separate love interests they were brought back around the same time as part of Buddie’s journey toward getting together.

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Ana and Eddie’s relationship really starts in 4x06 Jinx which is telling enough as it is. It’s also in this ep that Eddie keeps trying to prove that he doesn’t believe in supernatural forces. Meanwhile it’s Buck who tells him “it’s like the universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen”.

Both Ana and Taylor are in Breaking Point 4x08

It’s fitting that this episode is called Breaking Point because I think the show runners knew this episode would piss some fans off but I think that was the point in a way. I think a lot of the stuff with Ana and Taylor in this episode and thought out season 4 really was meant to be a red herring.

We’re reintroduced to Taylor and we see her and Buck become friends although it’s clear we’re meant to think this could go somewhere by that kiss at the end. Ana and Eddie go on a date and at the end he brings her to see Christopher, a pretty uncharacteristic move for him given the pandemic and Chris’ health. This is another way I believe the show was trying to trick us into believing that these relationships were going somewhere.

Plus in an episode that was chocked full of Buck and Eddie off with other people we still had Buddie always on the periphery like when Eddie came home to Buck, a pretty symbolic moment. Then you had Buck and Eddie at the stand off. Buck complaining to everyone who would listen about Albert and Veronica (even though he couldn’t care less about Veronica) and Eddie admitting he didn’t know how to tell Christopher he was dating Ana. The show focusing on both of their love lives but interestingly enough not showing them talking to each other about their problems when they’re supposed to be best friends.

There was a really important scene with Buck talking to Taylor where he admitted that he felt ready to meet someone and “start a meaningful relationship” and Taylor tells him “I’ve met the people you work with your life is nothing but meaningful relationships”. Interesting choice of words there. To which Buck says, “doesn’t seem the same”. Taylor then tells him “do you ever think you need to be patient and let the universe come to you” a line that mirrors what was said in Jinx. So both Buck and Eddie were being told in season 4 that they needed to listen to the universe, ostensibly the signs around them.

Now at the time the show sort of frames this as Buck and Taylor maybe flirting like maybe the signs are pointing towards Taylor, but I think it was just another misdirect because when you put everything from this season together it’s clear that there was a deeper meaning there and it was directed towards Buddie.

Ana was in 4x10 Parenthood

This episode was all about parents and it would seem on face value that Ana’s role is about her getting closer to the Diaz family but it’s not. Her role in the episode was to highlight how Buck is Christopher’s other dad. How the only other person Christopher is terrified of losing beside Eddie is Buck. How when Christopher was upset and scared he ran to Buck’s house.

Taylor was in 4x11 First Responders

Again I think the show was trying to mislead the audience into thinking that things could be going somewhere with her and Buck when really they were just developing their friendship. Notice how they didn’t spend any real alone time together getting to know one another like how a show would typically frame a couple in the making. Their only scenes in this ep involved them trying to solve what happened to Sue. Like work partners working on a project. Taylor comes over at the end of the ep with wine but there’s no real intention on her end that she’s interested in Buck and they only talk about the case.

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Taylor was also in 4x12 Treasure Hunt

This is where things start to get interesting and I think really where the show starts to turn things from just faking out the audience to giving more clues about Buddie.

We get a scene where a bunch of the 118 are talking about the treasure hunt after seeing Taylor talk about it on the news. They talk about how it’s going to get more people hurt and Eddie says to Buck “your girlfriend’s news story is probably not going to help out with that”. Buck says “she’s my friend not my girlfriend”. To which Eddie nods his head like he believes him but he makes a face looking pouty and jealous.

Now why would the show put that line in there and show Eddie being jealous right before the three of them end up working together? 🤔

Buck calls Taylor and asks to team up to find the treasure and at the end of the call the camera pans out to show Eddie. Almost like they would if Buck was keeping things from his so.

Eddie asks Buck to team up but Buck had already teamed up with Taylor so he brings Eddie in the on deal. We then get the kitchen scene with the three of them where it’s obvious Eddie is jealous and as was pointed out in the twitter thread I included above the framing of that scene was definitely intentional. Eddie looking jealous seated in the middle of Buck and Taylor.

Even though the three of them were supposed to be a team we see Buck and Eddie together through most of the important parts of the episode. Like at the end when they find the treasure chest.

There’s a scene with Buck and Taylor at his apartment where he thinks things are going somewhere between them they’re not and it’s not the first time it’s happened. One has to wonder why he keeps trying to put himself out there for something that just isn’t going to happen.

While eating breakfast with the 118 Buck says "at this point I don’t trust anyone” and the camera specifically focuses in and lingers on Eddie looking hurt. When Buck notices he quickly clarifies what he meant.

The episode ends letting us know that Taylor only thinks of Buck as a friend and that’s how we move into the final two episodes of the season.

Also Just like with Parenthood Ana was in that ep to highlight Buck being Chris’ other dad Taylor was in Treasure Hunt to highlight that Eddie isn’t comfortable seeing Buck with someone else.

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Ana was in 4x13 Suspicion

So I’ve wrote about this in another post but I think that Ana’s whole purpose in this episode was solely for Eddie and Carla to have the convo they did. The show made it clear that Eddie has not been emotionally invested in his relationship with Ana.

We saw Ana looking up the stuff about that mother who was poisoning her son but Ana wasn’t really involved in that whole storyline ultimately it was Buck. Buck was there when they first went to that call and he was the one who went to the women’s house with Eddie at the end despite being in civilian clothes. There was also no acknowledgement of Ana before Eddie was shot. Usually before a scene like that you’d have a couple saying something meaningful like I’m so glad you’re in my life or Eddie deciding to tell her he loves her but instead it was all about Eddie and Buck. It was also Buck who right before the shooting said “that kid is just lucky he met you” when Eddie was feeling guilty for not getting to the call sooner.

Then of course the shooting was framed to be all about Buck and Eddie. To the point that it was like almost nothing else existed in the world for a few seconds. Even when they pulled out of the slow motion all the camera really focused on was them.

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Now looking ahead to the last episode for season 4 both Taylor and Ana will be in the episode. We can see that Taylor is in the finale just from the promo. It’s not surprising that Ana will be given she’s been dating Eddie and he was just shot.

But I can’t help but wonder why is the show bringing Taylor in to a season finale that is already clearly over flowing with stuff for the characters to do. I mean surely they don’t have screen time to waste? And I don’t mean that as a dig on Taylor. I mean I get the impression this episode is going to be planned to the second with no filler junk. We have the sniper, saving Eddie’s life, Athena and Bobby’s marriage dramas, Maddie’s depression, Buck doing something reckless to save everyone, Buck thinking Eddie is going to die and losing his shit, Buck talking to Christopher, whatever happens in that convo between Buddie.

So again why is Taylor in the finale? We see her with Buck in the promo and it looks like it might be in front of the hospital. It’s possible she’s there to help Buck find the sniper but I think the show could get around that some other way. If you look at how the show has handled Ana and Taylor thus far and how their presence in each ep throughout season 4 was to further Buddie’s story I think there’s only one reason she’s coming back and that’s because Buck is going to confess something to her about Eddie.

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If we look at 4x13 again it was an episode that was more about Eddie than Buck and it was about discovery and honesty. People discovering things and being honest with others and themselves. I think 4x14 will be similar but with Buck. We can tell from the promos that Buck is going to have a lot of focus in the finale and I think part of that is going to involve him being honest with himself about some things. This will hearken back to the journey he’s been on for the whole season.

In the season 3 finale we saw Buck closing the chapter on Abby finally. We saw him grow and go through so much all season 4. He’s had to face a lot of truths this year. About his parents and about the kind of relationships he’s been in and what he really wants now but I also think he’s still been running. I think given all the hurt he’s experienced he’s been afraid to be truly vulnerable. He said earlier in season 4 he wanted a more meaningful relationship and it’s been in front of him all along yet he keeps running in the opposite direction.

In Breaking Point Taylor came back to 911 to tell Buck the he needed to listen to the universe and I think when she comes back in the finale whatever she says will be an echo of that convo.

My guess is Buck will come to some kind of realization after the shooting and he’ll talk to Taylor about it. I think that Taylor will be the one who pushes him to talk to Eddie and she’ll even likely say that she knew something was there between the two of them to begin with which is a big reason why she didn’t pursue anything with Buck. She knew he was in love with someone else.

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Which leads us to what happens next

I’ve been thinking about this scene a lot and what might happen here. I’ve seen some people say they think Eddie will ask Buck to be Chris’ legal guardian in case something happens to him or that it might be a dream sequence. I think both of those things are possible but I can’t shake this feeling that when I look at Buck’s face here he looks like he’s being being told some surprising bad news.

I think it’s possible that Buck will go to the hospital with the intention of telling Eddie how he feels only when he gets there maybe Eddie tells him Ana is moving in. Maybe Eddie says she’s going to help take care of him and Christopher. Eddie says he wants to make sure that Christopher has someone in case something happens to him.

Which leaves us on a cliffhanger for the end of season 4 and in season 5 we could get Buck trying to navigate his feelings for Eddie while figuring out his sexuality.

I don’t think the actress who plays Ana will end up coming back for season 5 but that doesn’t have to affect how they leave things at the end of season 4. If we look back on previous seasons 911 is notorious for doing cliffhangers like this. Abby left at the end of season 1 and didn’t come back and it was essentially a cliffhanger to her and Buck’s relationship. The season 2 finale didn’t give total clarity about where things with Ali and Buck were going and by the time season 3 came the actress was gone.

So this whole idea of Ana moving in with Eddie could just be an idea and we won’t actually have to see it happen in season 5. Like Eddie says Ana is moving in but by the time season 5 rolls around we hear that she got a job offer in another state and she took it.

But something else could happen too. Maybe Eddie breaks up with Ana given the clarity he got from the convo with Carla and the shooting. Then he asks Buck to move in and help him and Christopher while he’s still healing. Buck decides that now isn’t the right time to tell Eddie how he feels that he needs to just be there for his friend so he holds back. That would still bring us into season 5 with a will they or won’t they which is ultimately where I think things are headed.

I’ve seen some people speculate that Eddie might tell Buck he’s going back to Texas which I think is less likely but still possible. So Eddie breaks up with Ana and decides he’s going to spend time with his family in Texas. Buck goes to tell Eddie how he feels and before he does Eddie tells him he’s leaving. Season 4 ends where we don’t know when or if Eddie and Christopher are coming back. Though ultimately they do in season 5 but how that all plays out would make for some good storylines and it could open up room for another Lonestar crossover ep too. It would be great to have an episode where Buck and TK talk about how Buck feels about Eddie.

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I know a lot of people are going to be pissed if anything less than Buddie getting together and living HEA in the season 4 finale happens but I think we need to be patient. If we actually even get one of them acknowledging his feelings for the other it will be a huge step in the right direction towards them becoming a canon ship. But it does feel like the show is taking them more seriously now.

I know that the show could just be queerbaiting us that’s always a possibility at this point but I think it’s okay for us to be hopeful too. I feel like if the show didn’t want to move forward with Buddie they would have put more effort into developing Buck/Taylor and Eddie/Ana and a lot less into Buddie. This would have been the best season for the show to finally cut ties with Buddie if they really wanted to move on and were tired of hearing about it from us fans. Instead they’ve only developed Buck and Eddie more and there’s no getting around all the symbolism in that final scene in the recent episode. It was shot like two lovers.

I think we just need to have some faith that the writers care enough about the characters and audience to not string us along and that this is all leading somewhere. Which for the first time since Eddie arrived I actually think it is I really do think that Buddie will become canon.

If you read this whole thing blessings upon you and your cow and I’m sorry I talk so much. 😝💗

#911 fox #buddie #buddie s4 #911 4x14 #911 meta #911 s4*#911!#long post

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offbeatcappuccino · 3 years

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My Love Letter for Run On

You have your world, and I have mine. But, we could align our worlds next to each other, couldn’t we?

- Oh Mi Joo to Ki Seon Gyeom| Episode 16

Run On came to me during a special time in my life. Last fall was a period, where I was working towards immense personal growth and self reflection and watching kdramas was a form of self care and preservation. When the winter arrived, I struggled with a sense of emptiness that permeated when the semester ended. Also, the kdramas that ended during the winter, like Start Up and Tale of the Nine Tailed Fox left me deeply unsatisfied with the ending and shows like More Than Friends were difficult to stay committed to because of the weak storyline. I was bored out of my mind and worst of all, I was stuck in a k-drama rut. I started watching Run On because there was nothing else to watch at that time. Run On was initially a drama that I was indifferent to at first. However, I watched it every week without skipping an episode and slowly I realized that this show was making my Wednesdays and Thursdays just a little better. Halfway through the show, I realized I was deeply committed and in love with the plot. Ki Seon Gyeom, Oh Mi Joo, Lee Yeong Hwa, and Seo Dan Ah, were all characters that grew on me. Run On is not only a drama, but an experience that its audience lives through vicariously. Every episode feels like a mental breakthrough that pushes you to reflect on your own relationships, values, and ambitions. Simply put, Run on is a refreshing masterpiece rooted in realism.

At first glance, the characters in Run On are anything but relatable. Oh Mi Joo is a quirky translator and orphan, Seon Gyeom, a national track runner who also happens to be the son of beloved Korean film star and influential politician. Lee Yeong Hwa is a sometimes naive optimistic energetic college student, and Seo Dan Ah, is the blunt slightly offensive very ambitious CEO who also happens to be an heir for one of the biggest conglomerates in South Korea. With a diverse set of unique characters, its very easy for such rom-com focused k-dramas to easily slip into the fantastical. Run On could have very easily become a drama like What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, one that unashamedly embraces the grandiose. Seon Gyeom could have used his influence to shower countless expensive gifts upon Oh Mi Joo and essentially liberate her from her middle class status. Lee Yeong Hwa and Seo Dan Ah’s relationship could have been the classic “noona” trope, where Yeong Hwa, despite his younger age, could have become the typical overprotective boyfriend and Seo Dan Ah could have been the woman who only understands her worth through her relationship with Yeong Hwa. What these two alternative storylines ultimately hinge on is this concept of unrequited love, the idea that my happiness solely comes from your happiness and I will sacrifice anything for you even if it comes at the cost of my own wellbeing. These storylines also promote a problematic understanding of what it means to be a man and a woman. A man is only expected to give and a woman is expected to receive. This characterization sends the problematic message that men are perfectionists and women are incapable of being independent. K-drama writers often fall back to these tropes because societally, we have a misconception that these clichés are what make watching romance worthwhile.

Run On is special because the actual storyline is one that demonstrates that healthy relationships can be engaging and entertaining to watch. Run On “runs” leaps and bounds to show us that romance can feel ordinary yet fulfilling. In both dramas and real life, we see characters pursue relationships because of the excitement and highs that accompany them even if it’s a relationship that feels unhealthy and unstable. In Run On, Seon Gyeom’s status, does not become the major focus of their relationship. There are no grandiose over the top gestures of romance on this show. What there are sincere genuine moments of compassion and support. When Seon Gyeom and Mi Joo live together as roommates, Seon Gyeom shows his love for Mi Joo in the way that he makes her kimchi fried rice and advises her to stop pulling all nighters and drinking green smoothies and eating cereal as a form of sustenance. On the other hand, Mi Joo makes Seon Gyeom’s favorite japchae during one of their dates. In Run On, its the simple things that truly allow us to express our love for another person.

Another one of my favorite scenes is when Mi Joo gets the flu and is running a fever, Seon Gyeom helps relocate her to a better room and tells her that he can be someone she can rely on when things get tough. Similarily, throughout the show, Mi Joo helps Seon Gyeom find his passion for mentoring and guiding young athletes and supports him when he is forced to retire from athletics. Yet, these characters don’t exist only within the confines of their relationship. We see Mi Joo continuing to actively pursue professional success as a translator and Seon Gyeom continues in his journey to help his friend Kim Woo Sik get back on the race track after his injury. Both characters have goals and aspirations outside of their relationships and this show normalizes the fact that our personal needs can coexist with our romantic relationships. Unlike what other k-dramas and other shows depict, relationships don’t have to be all consuming activities for us to engage in. While this concept may seem like an obvious expectation, Run On serves a powerful reminder that gently conveys the fact that embracing romance is not synonymous with being swept up in it.

As a South Asian woman, love and relationships have always been closely tied to this idea of relentless sacrifice. Relationships come first before anything else and this can breed toxic ideas of what romance look likes. In my own community and many other Asian communities , everything from parenting and marriage is closely tied to this idea of living for another person. As a daughter, you live to fulfill your parents’ ideas of success. As a wife and mother, you live to solely ensure your husband and childrens’ wellbeing. What Run On taught me is this idea of balance and space that needs to exist in all our relationships. Relationships need to be built on a principle of clear communication, reciprocity, and respect. Thank you Run On for making this cold winter just a little warmer.

#run on #run on kdrama #netflix #jtbc #kdrama #im siwan #shin se kyung #sooyoung #kdrama review #kdrama recommendations #kang tae oh #maker:chinchaqueen #kdrama edits

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kookiepredictions · 4 years

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Jungkook Twinflame Journey: Challenges & Lessons

The general structure of the TF journey is available plenty on the web so I won’t talk about the step by step journey, rather only focus on the highlights of it, specifically the challenges they are dealing with and how to possibly overcome them. Also, as was pointed out to me earlier, it must be mentioned that these readings are timeline independent, and don’t signify when these activities are happening. This is just the overall energy of Jungkook’s TF journey and what he might have/ might be/ will facing, whenever they happen.

Also, this post is long enough to be a book lol (8.5k words when I last checked) but you gotta do what you gotta do. Happy reading :)

The first thing that jumps out is that both of them seem to be running from the connection. Both are runners, both are chasers. Jungkook is running in the 5D while his counterpart is running in the 3D. Jungkook wants to make a physical (as in 3D) relationship happen ASAP. He endlessly daydreams about being together with his DF and what he can do to make it happen. However, he is both indecisive and hesitant about taking actual action for various reasons that I will discuss later. The DF on the other hand, is running from a physical connection for reasons I will discuss later. The imbalance here is that the DF sees this as an energetic connection before anything else and wants to treat it as such, whereas Jungkook is focused on the physical manifestation of it. They’re not on the same page about how they see this connection and how they want to deal with it. Now, since a TF connection is a soul connection, it makes sense to start with the soul growth because that is what will ultimately lead to the physical manifestation of it. As I mentioned in the previous reading, Jungkook is in a stubborn “my way or the highway” kind of energy where he just wants what he wants lol. He can’t seem to understand why someone who loves him will want to stay away from him. On the surface level, this is a valid thought, but he’s not seeing, or rather refusing to see all sides of this.

The most important “earthly” blockage that gets in the way of his connection is his job. He has a lot to handle right now and he’s not, in any way, prepared to start or handle a new relationship. The irony is that he knows this. This is in fact what is making him hesitate to take action towards this connection and might I add, rightly so. His judgment and reasoning towards this connection is absolutely correct— he wants to focus on himself and his work right now and clear the unorganized mess in his life before he can bring anyone else into it. So the problem is not that he doesn’t know what to do. The problem is that he is finding it difficult to commit to this decision. He keeps swinging back and forth doubting if he has made the right choice. He keeps fearing that his decision might be wrong and he will end up losing everything he has dreamt for his future— including his DF, who he has come to value a lot right now. She is a big part of his future dreams and he fears that if she leaves, everything will start falling apart like dominoes. This is leading him to overthink this connection from every angle and feel weighed down in a way that he’s not able to take any path. He seems to be on a crossroad and really heavy with indecisive energy. And all of this is happening because he is running in the 5D— he’s running from the spiritual aspect of this connection, from the soul lessons that he needs to learn.

His DF on the other hand, sees the connection for what it is— spiritual before physical. She is in a state of complete surrender to the Universe that if they are meant to be, nothing and no one can get in the way of that. However, she also has a realistic view of it. She knows that the connection might be spiritual but the people in it are imperfect humans. She knows that the only people who can mess up this connection or stop it from manifesting in the physical are her and Jungkook. She knows how the TF connection works but most importantly, she is allowing herself to be guided by what she intuitively knows to be right. She not only has the clarity of the present situation of herself and Jungkook’s, she also has the foresight of what can go wrong in the near and far future if they rush into a connection right now. She “sees” the wounds, trauma and ego-driven behavioural patterns that both of them have and knows that unless they work on healing themselves first, their connection is no better than anyone’s else’s.

On this note, here’s something about a TF relationship: just because you are TFs doesn’t automatically mean that you both are perfect for each other. It just means that this has the HIGHEST POTENTIAL for being the best kind of relationship that anyone can ever hope to have in their lifetime. That’s what it is: a potential. Not a reality. The TF counterparts are only POTENTIALLY right for each other IF they want to make it that way. Every soul in this world has a twinflame— someone who is their most ideal, perfect match. However, when we use the term “twinflame” in discussions and articles, we only mean the twinflame counterparts who have incarnated on earth at the same time and have met, and if they have, then they will most definitely “fall in love”. However, what they then decide to do with that connection and in what direction they take it, is entirely up to them. The foundation of spirituality is free will. NOTHING is forcefully thrust upon us. We’re given complete sovereignty over how we wish to live our lives. Yes, there’s Destiny, but destiny is not a forced concept where you have no say over it. That’s not how spirituality works. Forceful subjugation is the tool of lower vibrating earthly authorities. Spirituality in its core is about freedom. Since the world is in a position of having ingested prolonged low vibrational thoughts and belief systems about love and life in general, the population at large is vibrating at these lower frequency energies. Healing these trauma and reviving our DNA to its original form takes many lifetimes. This is why even though everyone has a twinflame that was created to be their best match, the trauma we’ve incurred over generations, periods and eras, and even in the past years of our current lifetimes, have made it such that each counterpart of each twinflame pair is busy healing themselves over several lifetimes, and depending on the necessary soul contract that was undertaken, might or might not be healed and ready to meet their counterpart in each lifetime. If TFs meet their counterpart in a lifetime where they are not “healed” and behave excessively from their ego standpoint, they will face relationship problems and breakups like any other couple. Being counterparts won’t make you any special. To summarise, TF counterparts who are not healed are the exact same as any other person. In fact they can be worse, because there is an insurmountable amount of passion between them due to their soul connection, but since they haven’t learnt to “behave” like healed counterparts yet, they will end up hurting each other even more. That’s because when you meet your TF, you see how similar you both are and how this connection has SO MUCH potential to be perfect, and you start lowering your guard down, believing that this is one person in the world who will NEVER hurt you. So when you get hurt by them, it feels so much worse and painful than anyone else who has hurt you. This is why a lot of TFs who meet and fall in love before they are healed, end up with a soulmate or even a karmic or 3D partner later where they are actually happier than they were with their TFs. Also when we talk about TF Union, know that it can mean anything. It doesn’t have to mean a committed relationship or marriage. The reason being, marriages and relationships are earthly concepts. The spiritual realm doesn’t care for earthly practices at all; it only cares for earthly practices when they serve the purpose of spiritual advancement. So if a TF couple is destined to get married, that only means that their marriage is supposed to serve a spiritual cause on earth. I just remembered one of my followers kindly pointed out how rare it is for TFs to get married and I’d like to reiterate that here. It is indeed SUPER rare, because it is rare as is, to be incarnated at the same time as your TF. Spirituality is about the soul, obviously, so you’ve got to see a spiritually-rooted connection from the viewpoint of a soul, not from your earthly ego. Souls are immortal; no matter what is happening in the world, whether or not you’re dating or getting married with each other, TFs are together forever as soul units. It’s just that a soul is independent AF lol. They don’t need to always stick to each other. They let their other half do their own work/ mission on earth in one lifetime while they chill in another lifetime lol. It’s only when they know they are on the same-ish page in terms of healing from earthly traumas that they incarnate together and “plan” to meet at the right time, and when they do, fireworks lol. However, it’s still about the healing. Even after they meet. Being the kind of souls who have incarnated at the same time to be “twinflames” means that you have done enough of healing in your past lifetimes that you now have a lot more refined (less traumatic) view of love and life, than other people around you. And when I say “around you” I mean in the world. TFs who have incarnated together to meet are super rare (again, when we use the word “TF” we automatically mean the only ones who are supposed to meet). They are already born as old, highly advanced souls with thoughts, feelings and actions distinctly different from others, possibly with a great many set of talents (because they have lived several lifetimes as different people honing different skills in each lifetime— I’m reminded of the interview where Jungkook asked what had he done in his previous lifetimes to get so much love from his fans and Yoongi replied he was possibly good at everything), but most importantly, they have the desire to be better versions of themselves stronger than anyone else, because they actually are serious about their healing, even if they don’t know it consciously. They are righteous and idealistic kind of people but not in a naive way— they know the light as much as they know the darkness, because healing is about balancing both. TFs who have incarnated together are possibly living their last lifetime on earth and on the way out to Ascension but only if they do the remaining healing in their current lifetime. Because like I said before, that’s the whole point. This is why this connection, right up top, seems so powerful and deep. It’s rooted in spiritual awareness and healing past traumas. You help each other in your missions. But that doesn’t mean necessarily by being physically together. If you’re destined to be together, then you will, but if you’re not, i.e. if your mission does not include being together, then you will part ways. This seems sad and depressing (“what is the point of having/ meeting your TF if you can’t be together?”) but this is where I remind you again that this is, first and foremost, a soul connection, and no matter what happens on earth, you’re together as souls at all times. Here’s the thing though: if being apart from each other is your mission, then you will not feel sad about it. That decision will come about as a natural transition at some point in your TF journey. You both will feel that that is the right thing to do, without malice or pain in your heart, because any decision made from the soul always feels peaceful on the inside. For example, many people believe that Mary Magdalene was Jesus’ TF, and they had a lot of love between them, yet, since Jesus’ destiny was to embrace the cross, he didn’t end up marrying her. And yet, it was something he CHOSE to do, not something that someone thrust on him. He did it with complete awareness and acceptance. Because again, like I said, spirituality at its core, is freedom. Destiny only means that every path has a particular destination at the end. But which path we take, is completely up to us. Whichever path we take will lead to the destination that is at the end of it— that part is nonnegotiable. You can’t take one path and expect to reach a different destination. However, these paths are not linear, parallel tracks. They are more like a labyrinth— connecting and disconnecting at several junctions. Which means that we can change our paths at any moment that we want. If we have taken a wrong path today, it will lead to a wrong destination, but if we want to change where we end up at, we can change the path at any time. We are not doomed or fated forever to end up in a wrong place just because we took the wrong path in the past. We are only fated to go there if we keep continuing on that same path.

Coming back to Jungkook’s DF, she recognizes the spiritual aspect of the connection and what it means for her life and Jungkook’s. She knows a separation is imminent and she’s accepted it with her whole heart. She can’t pretend to be sad or missing him just to look good in his eyes because she neither misses him nor is she sad about this. She longs for him every moment of her life but she never feels like they are separate from each other. She always energetically feels him around herself and knows that he feels her too. The difference is that while she embraces this situation, Jungkook is resisting it. He WANTS to be connected with her in the physical world. It’s a really stubborn energy lol where he is simply refusing to see anything else. I used the word “refusing” because it’s not like he doesn’t know the problems that are there with regards to this connection. He is just ducking his responsibility of dealing with them and just hoping that they will somehow go away. He is, knowingly or unknowingly, in a self-centred energy where he has put all the responsibility of them being together on her. He wants her to be with him but he doesn’t want to address the reasons why they aren’t together. Truthfully, the real reason they aren’t and cannot be physically connected (in any way) is because Jungkook’s life is a mess— ENERGETICALLY. This needs to be emphasized because Jungkook often feels like he can “handle” a connection. Like I said, he daydreams and fantasizes about everything he would like to do for her and he just wants the damn connection to start and get moving already. But there’s the problem. He is only concerned about the external, physical aspect of the connection, but this is a spiritual, energetic connection. They are connected so deep and so profoundly because of this very reason. It can’t be ignored just so you two can start dating or talking even. At this moment, Jungkook is in a state where he is carrying everyone else’s energy except his own. There are way too many interferences and sabotaging around him. Add to it his wounds from past experiences and relationships. It’s just unfair of him to expect his DF to be with him while his own life is so disharmonious. It’s like, when you invite someone over to your home, do you expect them to come to a dirty, messy home? Or would you first clean up? It’s not that he is unaware of these problems. He knows, and he also often feels guilty of getting her involved in all of this. But feeling guilty is not enough. It won’t make the problems go away. He is in a victim mentality where he feels everything is happening TO him, and he is absolving himself off of the responsibility of admitting that by not doing what needs to be done, he is also a part of the problem. Don’t get me wrong, he DOES want to work on these problems, he doesn’t want to subject her to this forever. But where he is wrong is in expecting that she SHOULD stay by him while the problems still exist. And that’s just unfair. She has possibly also tried doing that. But the thing is, the actual problems are not the ones on the outside. The actual problems are the ones in his mind. He can’t always have control over his external situations, but he can ALWAYS have control over his own self IF he wants. It’s the negative energy that he lets stay inside him rent free that is the real problem. No matter what she does to make him happy, Jungkook finds a reason to be sad. No matter what she says to assure him that she loves him, he will still stick to that one vague reason that makes him afraid of losing her. Or some other fear. He feels like the problem is that they are not together. But the problem is actually that Jungkook is a whole warehouse of fear, insecurity, jealousy, anger, etc. And he is entrusting it upon her to heal him. But no one can heal someone else unless they really want to, unless they make their own effort, but most importantly, unless they recognize what the real problem is. His fears are not because of her actions, his fears are because of his past wounds. It is unfair to expect her to be at his beck and call to heal HIS past issues without him being proactive about healing himself first. TFs do play a very important role in healing each other, but not in a co-dependent, energy-vampire-ical way. They heal each other by empowering each other, helping each other be free. Excessive dependence on your counterpart does the exact opposite of healing.

His DF was likely in a past relationship with a narcissist who expected exactly this out of her. She was expected to compensate for his insecurities by limiting herself— her thoughts, feelings, and just living in general. Back then she wasn’t “awake”, so she complied, but it was never enough. The more she adjusted, the more areas she was given to adjust. It resulted in her living a life that ran on autopilot, doing only things that were “permitted” by her partner. In moments where she wanted to assert her own will, she would be made to feel guilty of doing something that her partner didn’t want her to. That she was the reason why her partner was unhappy. Now she understands that no one is responsible for someone else’s happiness or sadness. We can do things with the intention of making someone happy or sad, but how they take it and react to it is completely their call. And in the end when she had fully adapted to his way of living by completely bequeathing her autonomy of decisions and actions, one day he turned around to accuse her of not being independent and proactive enough, and for being too needy. Because that’s what ego-based behaviour leads you to do. You’re never satisfied. Here’s the difference between ego and soul— the ego demands everything but is happy with nothing; the soul accepts everything and is happy with everything.

She can assure Jungkook a million times that she loves him, that she will always be with him, but unless he gets to the root of his insecurities and eliminate them from the root, they will always go back to the same problems. Because the harsh truth is, as much as he loves her, right now he is using her and this connection as a distraction and escape from his real problems, a quick fix. But the TF connection is not supposed to distract you from your problems, it is supposed to point you exactly in the direction of where your problems are. This is what Jungkook and this connection has done for his DF, and this is what she hopes to do for him. But she can only direct him towards those problems, she can’t decide or act on them. That is something only he can do. He needs to quit waiting for someone else to fix his life and take it upon himself. He has been having tower moments after tower moments simply because he is refusing to see or act on the problems.

His problems are not all though. His DF is staying away also because of her own problems, her own past wounds. She is not as perfect as he thinks she is. Her life is not as perfect as he thinks it is. She has as many problems— both external and internal— as he does. She knows that Jungkook dreams of healing her, taking away all her pain, solving all her problems, and she is forever grateful, but it’s the wrong approach. There are some things only she can and should handle. She knows that Jungkook often looks for her dreams, wanting to fulfil all of them, be that person in her life who does those things for her. And again, she is both grateful and happy that there is someone in this big, bad world who has that kind of intention and energy towards her, and someday when the time is right, she has absolutely no doubt that he will do all of these things. But right now, it means something to her to be able to do all these things for herself. All her life, she has been following directions from someone else, either parents or a partner or anyone who would show more authority than what she had on herself. But continuously living her life on someone else’s terms didn’t work out very well. Neither for her nor for others. Her life felt empty and her soul felt restless and unfulfilled. And if one doesn’t have peace within themselves, they can’t radiate peace around them. She doesn’t blame anyone else for this. Truthfully, it’s her own fault. For not having boundaries, for letting people walk all over her. For not asserting her own choice in her own life. But she won’t do that anymore. She can’t go back to that co-dependent energy. Not even with her TF, even though he’s one of the most important people in her life right now. She’s not mad at him, she’s not punishing him for any “mistake” that he thinks he has made. She’s only doing this because she is fully convinced that is the only right thing to do in this situation. And she is not back down from her own conviction. She is no more letting other people decide for her, especially when her own intuition doesn’t support it. In the past, she has had plenty of people telling her what to do, and now she realizes that those people were a lot more clueless than she was, and that she has always been the more intuitive and “right” person in any crowd. But the self-trust that she lacked back then, she has now. And she is not questioning it anymore.

One important lesson Jungkook has to learn is to know that there are no “punishments” in this world. Due to his past experiences, either very strict parenting or strict K Pop training environment, he has this deeply seated fear of being punished when he does something wrong. If he makes mistakes— which we all do— the Universe won’t punish him. We simply have some inconvenient situations as a direct or indirect result of our actions, so that we can learn that our actions were wrong and we can correct them in future. Punishments are also ego based repercussions. If his connection is as spiritual as he believes it is, then he also has to believe that his DF would never punish him. That’s just now how a healthy relationship should be! Imagine if two people were always out to get each other for their mistakes, keeping count of them and then waiting to punish them at an opportune moment... just how stressful would that relationship be! It might be that Jungkook has had to deal with someone like that in the past which has shaped his mindset about love and relationships that way. Love is not so egotistical. Anyone who claims to love you should be always willing to forgive you, no matter how many times you make mistakes. Yes, everyone should have boundaries, no one should allow anything they consider as mistreatment, but they should still be able to forgive the person they claim to love. If there are feelings of anger, malice, revenge towards someone, no matter what they have done, that is not love. So much of Jungkook’s pain is rooted in this mindset. He believes that just because he has made mistakes in his life, he is now destined to live a life of misery and sadness as a punishment, over which he has no control. Like I explained earlier, that’s not how Destiny works. We ALWAYS have a choice and we can make that choice anytime. The question is: are we REALLY willing to? Or are we looking to turn a blind eye towards our responsibilities and then blame it on our “fate”?

With his current energy, Jungkook has one foot of the door. He KNOWS what he has to do— the hesitation that he feels about taking action towards connection is not his fear. It is in fact, his soul voice. Deep inside, he knows this is not the right time. He is not ready for this connection to move forward or even exist in the physical. He knows he needs to work on himself first. He knows what his problems are and where they are. He knows that no matter what he does, he will never lose his TF. He just finds it difficult to trust himself with his own knowledge. There are too many outside opinions and energies that interferes with his thoughts and actions. And that is also his fault because he is allowing them to.

Very notable here is that Jungkook has one or more Karmic connections that are constantly interfering with this connection. He is frequently under psychic attacks, as is his DF. These karmics act as energy vampires by energetically trying to influence his thoughts— pressuring him for attention, communication and commitment, threatening to leave him if he doesn’t oblige, threatening to date someone else— acting as if it is coming from his DF. His DF wants nothing of that sort right now. Co-dependent energy is the very first thing that TFs are supposed to eliminate from their connection, which means from their own minds. Look around you. 99% of relationships in this world are based on co-dependency. A “if you give me this, I’ll give you that” kind of energy. Love, true love, is unconditional. Think about it: “love” is defined as an emotion, and abstract noun. Love, at its core, is an emotion. It is not actions or words or relationships or marriages. Love is a feeling, that’s all. If you can feel it inside your heart, no matter what situation you are in, you are in love. It’s the world’s biggest mistake to equate love with what we do for those we claim to love. It’s like, if you love me, prove it. No. If I love you, I’ll just love you that’s all. There will be no condition on my love. It won’t exist or disappear based on what I do or don’t do. We are often placed in situations where we can’t always do everything that we do. Actions are not always the same as feelings. Sometimes two people can love each truly and deeply, but— and I’m not afraid to say it— one of them can die before the other. Or fall sick and be bedridden forever, and be completely unable to “do” anything for the ones they love. What happens then? The love disappears? Just because they can’t prove it anymore? It’s such a limiting concept of love. Also, so many people will do so many things— gifts, vacations, anniversaries, social media updates— but then will also cheat on their partners, leave them for someone else... what value do all these things that they did hold in that case? My point is, doing a lot of things means nothing if the feeling behind it is not backed by true and pure love. Too many people depend on actions to prove the existence of love, but don’t take the time to really FEEL it. When you feel love for the emotion that it is, without restrictions and judgements, trust me, the action flows effortlessly. You will naturally know when to do what and those actions will NEVER be wrong. Instead of jumping about going crazy doing things, take the time to connect with your heart space and see what is really going on in there. It’s not always fun and games. Love does come with pain and sorrow too. But negative emotions are not a bad thing. Remember, negative emotions are NOT the same as negativity. Negative emotions are signifiers. They help us see where we are facing problems, what needs to be fixed. Negativity on the other hand, is blinding ourselves from those signals, and staying stuck in that stagnant pool of negative emotions, and not making the effort to get out of it. Always remember, energy is like water. As long as it is flowing, like in a stream, it is clean and healthy— no matter what type of energy. It is only when it is stagnant that it becomes unclean and breeds diseases. And to keep energy moving and flowing, it is essential to feel your feelings, no matter what they are. Be brutally honest with yourself about how you feel. Don’t judge your feelings, don’t censor them. Don’t tell yourself, I’m not supposed to feel this way. Bulls***! You can feel any type of way that you want to. Because you’re human. And that’s what humans do, they feel. That’s what makes us different from machines. Once you can feel accurately, you can now understand your feelings. You can understand the root of those feelings. So many people get away with saying, I don’t know what I feel like, I don’t know why I feel this way. Well, it can happen. Initially. But as humans we can and are supposed to KNOW our feelings by observing them. That’s what makes us different from animals. They feel but can’t make sense of those feelings. They directly go from feeling to acting. But we can do the essential step in between. Understand our feelings and then decide how to act.

Honestly, Jungkook has been sitting in a pool for a while now. Like I said, he is carrying mostly others’ energies than his own. This is why his DF feels the need to distance herself from him even though she wanted to, and has tried to be there for him in whichever capacity possible. She is all for healing Jungkook, but she can’t be responsible for other people’s energies too. As she is energetically connected with him, she feels his energy, and it is especially difficult when he is stuck in low vibrational energy for a long time. As long as he doesn’t find a way to block these energies, he is bringing both himself and this connection down. One person is trying to fill the connection with positive energies while the other acts as a host to energy vampires. It’s exhausting for both of them! It’s like trying to empty water from a boat with holes. No matter how hard you try, the boat will sink if the holes are not repaired. And it’s something only Jungkook can do. And the only way to do it is if he rises from his pool of negative emotions. Energy vampires, psychic attacks are only effective if you give them access to your energy. Remember, any person who tries to sabotage you is already vibrating in a low frequency with their ill intentions. You block their access by simply vibrating at a higher frequency. This is the singlemost effective way to both stop outside interference as well as improving your own energy. Commit to wanting to be a happier version of yourself. And just like love, don’t make your happiness conditional. Don’t think I’ll be happy if___ Be happy where you are, how you are. You’re not unhappy because you don’t have your DF, you are unhappy because you have mental blockages that restrict you from being happy. Find out what those restrictions are, then get to work on them.

The separation is also necessary because Jungkook NEEDS to face his fears. He has been battling with a lot of fears about losing his DF, and with her losing his dream future. But instead of facing it and getting it out of his system, he has been avoiding it. He creates different scenarios that would help him avoid feeling the pain of facing and analysing his fear. Somehow, somewhere, these scenarios lead him to believing that she doesn’t love him, she cheats on him or will cheat on him, or has left him for good, is intentionally hurting him, is taking advantage of his love and his having fun doing it. These are accusations his DF will not entertain. She understands where he is coming from, she understands the conflict and battle he is going through but she will not be held responsible for something she doesn’t even dream of doing. She could be just watching a movie and crushing on an actor but Jungkook’s paranoia will conclude she is seeing someone else. It’s hurtful. And even more so when it comes from someone who seemed like the one person in this world who would never hurt you. She is struggling in her life too. She is working on herself too. The difference between her and Jungkook is that she does not hold Jungkook responsible for her happiness. She accepts his situation and his decisions without questioning his motives, and she expects the same energy from him. They might be TFs but they are two separate individuals with different mentalities, backgrounds and situations. Each of them has the right to live their lives EXACTLY as they want to, without having to explain themselves, or proving their loyalty all the time. She won’t spend her whole lifetime proving her love and loyalty to someone who is supposed to understand her already. The TF separation period is not a punishment. It is a gift. It is their first opportunity to test if their love is really as strong and eternal as they think it is. True love does not disappear because of distance and situations. You don’t need to be with your partner to love them. Heck, you don’t even need a partner to love! Love, as I said, is an emotion to be felt. If you feel it, you know love. If you experience love, and then proceed to put fences of restrictions and conditions around it, one day, the restrictions will win and the love will lose. The separation really helps us test out the strength of the connection. Know that in spirituality there are always win-win situations. If two people do love each other truly, they will always come back to each other. It’s always better to leave your connection be free. Two people who are free to go anywhere they like and be with anyone they like, yet choose to come back to each other without demanding without accusing, is the best kind of love connection. And if they don’t come back, that means that connection wasn’t as good as it seemed after all, in which case, you’re free to look for the real one!

Jungkook really needs to loosen his grip. He needs to let her go. He needs to let her come back to him because she wants to, not because she felt trapped with guilt to stay with him. It is also his test for how much trust he has on someone he claims to love so much. If he can’t trust her now, he will not magically learn to trust her later when they are in a physical connection.

The thing is, everything written in this post, Jungkook already knows. And his DF knows this. She sees him beyond his outer tantrums through to his soul. She knows who he is inside there and what he wants and needs. She’s probably overconfident that she knows him better than he knows himself lol. And this is what is keeping her hopeful about this connection. She believes in him and is rooting for him to come through with his soul lessons and healing. Just like he believes in her and is rooting for her success in her life and career. He’s just... how to put it... overzealous about her lol. I’ve mentioned earlier that Jungkook values equal give and take in a relationship but this is causing detriment. He believes that she has done way too much for him and in return, he has given too little to her. That might be true lol but he must remember that firstly, he has already given her a lot more than what she has ever received from anyone. It’s not always the material things you know, the most valuable things in life are the ones money can’t buy. She has experienced being loved exactly the way she had always wanted to be loved. Him and the people around him have contributed to making her a strong, independent, assertive woman and shed many of her past inhibitions and weaknesses. This connection has caused her faith in herself and the Divine to go through the roof! And that’s exactly what he needs right now too. He needs to have faith. Faith in himself, this connection and the Universe. He really needs to see that she is not the only special person in this connection. He is as special as her as well— he is her! If he can’t forget her, how can she forget him? If he thinks she is irreplaceable, how can he not be irreplaceable in her life as well? He needs to work on his self-image and self-confidence to really see that he is equal, if not greater than her. She already sees him as special and irreplaceable but his lack of self esteem is causing him to create this illusion that she is too good for him, that he will never find anyone like her and therefore he must cling to her to make sure she never leaves. Even if they get into a connection, is it healthy to live with these fears and insecurities all your life? It’s time for him to shift the focus from her to himself and give himself all that pure, genuine love that she gave her. Self love. And then if she doesn’t come back, then fu** that bi***! An insanely gorgeous man who loves himself and has healed himself? There must be someone in this whole wide world who will know how to value that!

He needs to have faith in this connection. He needs to remember that he had no control over how it started. It just... happened. It was Divine planning and Divine timing. It came to him when he most needed it even when he didn’t know that he needed it. That’s how the Divine works. As broken, trauma-beaten humans, we tend to want to control everything exactly according to our understanding. But know that our understanding of life is limited. We don’t know everything that is happening or will happen in the future. We don’t know everything about other people. We don’t even know everything about ourselves. How can we hope to control everything with our limited knowledge? Only the Divine/ Universe/ Source or whatever you want to call it, knows everything every time. Even when homo sapiens were merely amoebas, the Universe was still here, doing its job. Even when humans were not here to “oversee” everything, the Universe was still operating smoothly according to its own rules. Everything human beings have learnt is from the Universe, from nature. It was here before us and it will be here probably even after we’re extinct. We’re not supposed to get ahead of it, we’re supposed to align with the Universal flow that has always existed. And we do it by having faith. Anything that is rooted in spirituality will require faith. We tend to want to first see things/ get assurances before we can have faith, but in reality it is only when we have faith that we see what we want. If the greatest inventors of the world waited to see things to believe in their existence, we wouldn’t have made all these advancements. To create something, and especially to create something new, have faith first. You can’t expect to have deep, pure, unconditional love by treating it like a casual date. Don’t try to define or understand it in terms of connections or relationships you’ve already had, because this is nothing like that. IF there is something wrong with this connection, trust that you will know. If you are keeping a clear, open mind, you will KNOW when things are wrong, and you will know when they are right. Don’t restrict your good judgement by doubting yourself all the time. Don’t depend on others to define or solve a situation that YOU are going through. It is your problem, you are capable enough to solve it. That’s how the Universe hands us situations and problems. We already have the capability of handling them, we just need to dig it out of ourselves firstly by deciding that we want to solve it, then by believing that we can. We really don’t need anyone for anything in life. If we do need anyone, the Universe promptly sends them to us. It is natural to WANT someone to be beside us though. But if the Universe is showing us that it’s not the right time by putting distances and obstacles between us, then we need to trust and accept that it is for our highest good. We might not know how right now, but in time we will.

The DF, as I said, is in this state of complete acceptance. This has filled her up with a sense of peace, happiness and stability. She is not one bit sad about the separation. Instead, she is sad that Jungkook is staying sad simply because he’s not accepting a situation that he has no control over. This resistance is making him overthink and worry himself sick over what she’s doing, thinking, feeling, and then accusing her of being the reason why he’s sad. This is not his energy. This is not the person he is, she knows it. This connection has given her the much needed high vibration energy to deal with her personal problems and solve them. She is celebrating her small wins and just being alive you know? She has not felt this free and light in all her life and she is not going back to worrying over things and situations she can’t control and be sad about them. She REALLY wishes Jungkook to do his own healing and join her in this energetic space because it is beautiful! But like everything else, she can’t control him. Because of the intense love and passion he has for her, he might think that she controls him but she doesn’t. He is controlled by his own fear and anxiety. She can’t make him take the decisions and actions required for him to heal. She can only heal herself, hoping that it will energetically help him instead. And to do that, she needs to focus every bit of her energy on herself. She is always connected to Jungkook, but she will not play host to other interfering energies anymore. Jungkook needs to also focus all his energy on himself but again, she can’t force him to do anything, it’s his call. She expects complete freedom to make her own life decisions according to her own understanding, and she expects anyone who claims to love her to respectfully accept it without accusing her of being selfish. Because self love is NOT being selfish. Especially for people like Jungkook and his DF, who are giving people, self love is an investment for the betterment of everyone they come in contact with. The more they invest in themselves, the more their tribe flourishes. He needs to accept that she shouldn’t be expected to be on standby while he is sorting out his life. He needs to accept that she deserves to live her life while she needs to accept that he deserves to live his life as well. There is no need to restrict or limit your life for your TF. Like I said, spirituality is about freedom. If a TF connection is not completely free of restrictions and limitations then it’s most likely not one. And yes, that includes dating as well. It might never happen, but that’s not the point. The point is, how far are we willing to go into acceptance of our TF counterpart’s freedom of choice for their happiness? And the answer should always be, ALL THE WAY. If your divine counterpart decides to start dating while in separation, it definitely won’t be an easy thing to handle. But if it’s really the unconditional love you swear you have for them, you should work through your own insecurities to allow them that choice as well. Of course, one doesn’t have to. No one is obligated to put up with anything they don’t like or can’t accept, or stay in that kind of a connection. And that’s the beauty of spirituality. Freedom. You are free to reject that connection. There is no “duty” or “destiny” binding you to anything you REALLY do not want to be a part of. But you’ve got to choose a side now and commit to that journey. No more doubting and avoiding. If you want it, then do what needs to be done for it, not just what you’re comfortable doing. If your comfort zone is more preferable to you, then stay in there but don’t complain why there’s no “unconditional love” in this world. To get unconditional love, you must give unconditional love first. And to do that, remove all restrictions and conditions in your own mentality that get in the way— not in the other person’s mentality. Trust in the Universe which has obviously proven time and time again to be more powerful than you. Trust that the energy you put out is the energy you will receive.

To sum up, this is a really important phase in Jungkook’s life. He is on a crossroad, not able to make definite decisions, just because he can’t put enough faith in himself, the Universe and this connection. Well, he can’t control the connection or the Universe so he should start with increasing faith in himself. Believe that he can and will always take the right decisions because here’s the fun thing: there are no wrong decisions when the intention is right. His DF believes in his ability because she knows his intentions to be pure and genuine all the time. All he wants is to do good to everyone, she has seen that. And the Universe loves him for that and wants to reward him. But he is blocking his rewards by being so damn stubborn and resistant. Don’t resist the change. Change is good. Change is growth. Growth means promotion and rewards. He has already sort of taken the right decision by wanting to focus on himself. It is time to commit to it by letting go of doubts and by FULLY, WHOLLY focusing his energy on himself and himself only. Leave his worries about his DF to the Universe. She’s a strong gal, she’s got this! TFs are not supposed to be energy leeches on each other’s backs. They’re not supposed to be weaknesses to each other, they’re supposed to be each other’s biggest strengths. Allow her to grow on her own to be the strong and rightful partner that she has the potential to be. Allow her to stretch her limbs and see what she’s capable of doing in her life, to go after her dreams with full force and focus. Just his energy of wanting to protect her and take care of her make her feel SO loved it really makes her feel like she can do anything! He doesn’t need to do anything else for her right now. What he really needs to protect her from is his own negative energies, by working on healing them, because she feels them. He needs to protect her from outside interference by taking responsibility of his own healing and his own life. People are pointing fingers at this connection because his life and mental health deteriorating. Not everyone is against him or this connection. Some people genuinely love him and want the best for him, and if he gives them the reason to believe that this connection is the reason why he is suffering, then that is wrong. He needs to step up and step in. They need to see this period as a gift, an opportunity to become their best versions before they get back together so that when they do, they don’t end up hurting each other due to their wounded ego-based behaviours. It’s not the easiest journey but I assure it is the MOST fulfilling. Once you let go of your worries, and everything you can’t control, you find this constant peace of mind, which is interspersed with frequent moments of euphoria— when you do get there, you’ll never want to go back. You get a bird’s eye view of this life and realize what the most important things in life really are, and what you really want, what really gives you real happiness. And you also see the best ways to get there. Free yourself. That’s why this connection really has come into your life. Free yourself from your own limitations. Your DF wants nothing from you except for you to flourish and be happy. Do whatever the hell you need to do for that, no judgements at all. She’ll meet you at the other side of the finish line :)

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clayandstuff · 3 years

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Becho Musings Part 2

Some more musings about Becho while simultaneously addressing unfounded blorke takes that make my blood boil and have no basis in reality. Focusing on S5 and on since I’ve already covered Becho’s relationship before they got together, this will look at them specifically as a couple. Posting this for posterity on my blog.

TL;DR

Not to accidentally validate any of these blorke claims by talking about them or giving them attention, but they’re so easily debunked by canon I can’t help myself...

Garbage take #1

Echo is just following Bellamy, she doesn’t love him, he is her King, they have a spy/king dynamic (lmao this isn’t even a real thing like wtf does this mean? You can tell blorkes are pressed about the knight/princess racist trope their ship falls into but you can’t just make things up! What a sad, misguided attempt to create a false equivalence between bellarke and Becho. A spy/king dynamic is literally not a thing - and unsurprisingly, it doesn’t accurately represent the relationship between Bellamy and Echo at all - but nice try I guess), Echo is only looking for someone to follow and take orders from, etc.

There’s so much to break down in this hot garbage take:

Before I get into absolutely destroying this hot garbage, let’s quickly address how the subtle framing of these “arguments” purposefully doesn’t acknowledge Bellamy’s feelings for Echo. Attempting to discredit Becho by designating Echo as a follower deliberately disregards Bellamy’s active role in his relationship and his feelings for her. Bellamy loves Echo and that’s clear throughout the show, but it’s wonderfully vocalized on screen multiple times in S5. Bellamy considers Echo his family (5x01 “we’re family and nothing can change that”) and it’s explicitly verbalized in 5x07 (”Our friends are there. People we love”) and once again in 5x12, from Clarke herself, when she told Echo “Bellamy loved you”. So, ya know, Bellamy loves Echo. That’s not debatable.

So first off, Echo’s relationship with Bellamy is not at all like her relationship to the Azgeda royal family (who she was in servitude of and essentially employed by). This is one of the worst takes I’ve ever seen and I’m not sure how anyone can logically come to that conclusion? (Which is mainly due to the fact that this claim is made in bad faith and isn’t actually based on logic or what we’ve seen in canon, but I digress). Not to mention Echo refers to Roan and Nia with honorifics and obviously does NOT do that with Bellamy, seriously wtf show are blorkes watching... Being loyal or devoted to someone does not mean the same thing for every relationship. Context matters. People can be loyal to each other for a variety or reasons, family/survival/clan/duty/temporary alliance/self-preservation/etc. Echo's never even hugged Roan, that already contextually makes her relationship with Bellamy very different from her relationship with Roan. Being devoted to someone because it's your job to protect the royal family (as a member of the Queen's guard and spy for the Ice Nation) is not the same as being devoted to someone because you are in love with them, in a romantic relationship with them, and want to keep them safe because they’re precious to you. Hello??

The other glaring inaccuracy with this garbage take is that Echo is not someone who just follows people or orders. That’s never been her character. She is a soldier, like Bellamy - but even when she was loyal to Azgeda she was never just a good little follower. She singlehandedly took control of Polis for Azgeda and commanded the entire Azgeda army in Roan’s absence. She doesn’t sit around waiting for people to give her orders or tell her what to do next. That’s simply contradictory to what we’ve actually been shown on the show. Mischaracterizing her as such is nothing more than a blorke ploy to minimize (and outright ignore) her strengths and agency as a character, intentionally erasing the fact that she is a brilliant strategist, skilled warrior, and a trusted political confidant.

Also, did blorkes forget that she’s literally a goddamn spy?! Being a spy is not the job for a follower who can’t think for themselves and needs someone to take orders from. A spy is given a mission and it’s up to them alone to make it happen. There’s actually an enormous amount of freedom and trust given to a spy. No one gives you step-by-step instructions to achieve your goal. You are literally on your own, often in enemy territory, having to think on your feet, adapt, and come up with a plan to get the job done. Oops embarrassing they forgot she’s a spy (it’s laughable to watch S7 and think she would ever actually betray her friends. She. Is. A. Spy. Infiltration is her job - we even saw her successfully infiltrate Diyoza’s camp in S5 and Diyoza herself actually admits she “got played” by Echo - CMON. Loyalty is her defining characteristic. PAY ATTENTION)

Calling her a follower is such a gross mischaracterization. Just look at her relationship with Roan (her actual King). She constantly argues with him, gives him push back, and even insinuates that he’s weak (to his face) on more than one occasion (in 4x01 when she flat out tells him “we can’t afford for our people to think you’re weak” and he gets offended enough to call her out on it, and then again when she’s sparring with him in 4x02 and offers to take his place once she knocks him on his ass). She doesn't even follow orders all that well if we're being honest (bless her little panda heart). She's the one who tells Roan to "send me to Arkadia" when she thinks Skaikru isn't being honest. She's the one telling Roan, the king, what to do! Not only does he let her talk to him like that, he actually values what she has to say.

Furthermore, the one time we see Roan actually give her a direct order (to bring Octavia back alive) Echo ends up NOT doing that (lol). She isn’t afraid to speak her mind or make her own decisions. One of her biggest character defining moments (that gets her banished from her clan) is when she decides to act of her own volition and go directly behind Roan’s back, to cheat in the conclave. No one ordered her to do that, it was all her. And there’s also all of the S7 Bardo Disciples plot which further proves that Echo isn’t just some mindless follower (cough cough Bellamy with the Shepard cough cough and Pike...). She’s always been her own person who thinks for herself and does what she believes is best for her people. (Even as far back as her introduction in S2 when she realizes Bellamy is Skaikru but still decides to trust and work with him in Mt. Weather. She also silences all those grounders in the cages with a single command and they ALL shut up and obey her, but sure yeah she’s just a follower 🙄🙄🙄)

So now that we’ve established how she interacts with Roan, let’s look at how she interacts with Bellamy. I’ve already detailed their attitude towards each other before they get together here, but now let’s look at how they act as a couple.

In S5, we see in their first scene together that they are very affectionate towards one another (so much kissing, arm rubbing, smiling, and forehead touching) as they mutually comfort each other. Echo is apprehensive about things changing on the ground because of Octavia and the fact that she’s still banished, but Bellamy makes an effort to get her to smile (even going so far as to joke about her “almost killing” his sister and him being more stubborn than Octavia. He gets her to laugh with him and even exclaims “good!” once she finally relaxes and smiles). He also tells her “we’re family and nothing can change that” - very different from her relationship with Nia (who Echo bowed down to when in her presence) who used Echo as spy/weapon of war, and Roan, who cast her out after using her political knowhow to effectively lead. Then on the Eligius ship in 5x03 they get their battle couple on by working together and fighting side-by-side to take out the prisoner who woke up. Later in that same episode, they jointly come up with a plan to deal with the cryo-sleeping prisoners that isn’t just murdering them (ultimately utilizing Echo’s plan to use them as leverage since Bellamy doesn’t want to kill them and Echo knows that it’s a strategic mistake to leave their enemy with reinforcements if they can stop it). When they don’t agree on something, they always talk it through and compromise (a sign of a healthy and mature relationship, where both people are regarded as equals and their input is valued).

Also, Echo was the one who came up with the plan to counter McCreary’s forces when he’d stolen Diyoza’s battle plans. Echo and Bellamy share a voiceover as they both relay the plan simultaneously to their separate groups. Once Bellamy finishes explaining, Octavia says to him “tell Echo I said well done”, giving Echo credit and acknowledging the fact that this is indeed Echo’s idea. Can someone kindly point me to where Echo is being a follower waiting patiently to be given her orders from her “King”?? Because as far as I can tell that never actually happens...

Side note, anyone else remember how blorkes were irate that Echo was the one leading Spacekru at the end of s5. They complained that it didn’t make sense for Echo to be in charge because “Raven was smarter” and Echo was being “so bossy”. Let’s just take a moment to acknowledge the contradictory nature of the arguments “Echo is so bossy and leading Spacekru” but also “she’s just a follower with a spy/king dynamic to Bellamy”. She can’t be both 🤣 stick to a story please. (Also, I LOVE Raven so this is in no way me shading Raven, she’s amazing and brilliant). Bonus: when the show runner is sick of your garbage takes and calls you out

To reiterate, the contradictory claims and clear disregard for facts and the truth of the show just further proves that their “complaints” are made entirely in bad faith. They are rejecting reality and demonstrate no comprehension of canon - their garbage takes should not hold any weight and are merely a form of lashing out because they’re upset their fanon ship never happened.

Getting back on topic...

So, S5 is where Becho are canonically established as a romantic relationship and the audience gets to see, for the first time, how they interact after 6 years in space and falling love. (Can I just point out that the entire purpose of a time jump is to have our characters change and be in emotionally new and different places - it’s a storytelling device to change the status quo and shake things up - it’s perfectly acceptable to have Becho get together during it given their history with one another. I address this in more detail later so we’ll put a pin in this for now)

Once they get down to the ground, Bellamy fights for Echo (both figuratively and literally) with Octavia and at every turn he doubles down on his love for Echo. To summarize, Echo won’t turn in the defectors and is willing to be banished for it, leaving Bellamy to stay in Polis with Octavia so he can still have a relationship with his sister. However, Bellamy won’t let Echo do that. He doesn’t want her to leave and he doesn’t want to be apart from her. He offers to defect with her! He would chose to give up his relationship with Octavia and Clarke (who he just found out was alive and reunited with) to be with Echo. Echo doesn’t like that plan because she doesn’t want Bellamy to be in harm’s way. She even tells him “we’ve been through this. You’re not going with me” to which he responds “like hell I’m not!” and she tells him “you are not dying for me”. Bellamy seems inconsolable at the thought of her leaving and can’t even look Echo in the eye when he’s telling her that he’ll be in the rover and it’ll only take him a few days to get to her, and once again Echo comforts and reassures him.

While Echo is at Diyoza’s camp trying to take down the eye, Bellamy has been staring at the monitor nonstop for 8 hours waiting for any change or sign that Echo made it there safely. Harper has to come in and tell him "you've been staring at that all night" and to “go, get some sleep”, knowing that if left on his own he would emotionally exhaust himself worrying about Echo and her safety indefinitely. Bellamy responds that the eye should be down by now and even says that he "wishes it was me over there". (This line reminds me of when he took her place in Mt. Weather to get bled in the harvest chamber. He is always willing to put himself in her place if it means getting her out of danger - he loves her and would do whatever it takes to keep her out of harm’s way).

Eventually Bellamy marches through the desert and carries Echo’s sword for her. He even sits by the fire and holds onto her sword because he can’t reach out and hold Echo (meanwhile Echo is being comforted by Emori that she’ll be together with Bellamy soon - I love a good yearning parallel!). When they reunite at the end of the season, they hug, grip each other tightly, and stay pressed together just being in each other’s embrace (again, this is NOT how she acted with Roan or Nia... this is a romantic relationship, and it's obviously played out on screen very differently. Echo never received a singe bit of comfort - physical or otherwise - from anyone in Azgeda).

Before they get out of the rover after rescuing Octavia, the minute Echo and Bellamy are reunited, Bellamy reaches out for Echo's hand and holds it (a callback to earlier in the season when he was reaching out for and grabbing onto her sword in her absence). Then they battle-couple-it-up again and take out the gunners making it possible for Wonkru to march through the gorge. They are equals (and partners) on and off the battle field.

S5 ends with Bellamy staring at Echo in cryosleep, yearning for her once again. And in S6 right off the bat they compromise with each other to get things done. The planet is dangerous and Bellamy doesn’t want to take fighters but Echo counters that it might be a mistake not to bring their to best fighters (Echo vouches for Octavia here) and Bellamy doesn’t want Octavia to come so instead he agrees to wake up Miller - another compromise where they make decisions together and work as a team. In S6 we also see in real-time Echo opening up to Bellamy and trusting him enough to let him in to her traumatic past, strengthening their relationship (directly in front of the audience) as Bellamy promises “from now on, we look forward not back” and comforts her with a loving forehead touch and a kiss.

Bellamy and Echo both come up with the plan to rescue Clarke from Josephine (Echo directly gives Bellamy the go ahead to “go save Clarke” while she stays back and saves the rest of their friends after they set off the EMP taking down the radiation shield). While Bellamy is in the forest, he expresses regret and worry for Echo explicitly two separate times (Bellamy asks Clarke “what about the people I left behind” and Clarke assures him his actions helped to keep Echo specifically (as well as Madi) safe. He has another separate conversation with Octavia about Echo where Octavia reassures him that “Echo’s strong” and “she’ll be okay”). Bellamy also gets more reassurance from Murphy, who informs him that “Echo is in trouble” but he’ll “do what [he] can for her”. He tries to console Bellamy because Bellamy is currently captured and can’t get to her to help. Once Bellamy returns from his mission in the forest, he sees Echo smiling right at him and he sprints into her arms, hugging her desperately and smiling into her shoulder with his eyes closed. Becho is a loving, healthy, mature relationship filled with trust and mutual respect, where both people are treated as equals.

So yeah, no follower spy king dynamic BS. Equal partners in love.

Garbage take #2

Becho is toxic because he got mad at her and called her a spy, etc.

Blorkes love to incorrectly imply that Bellamy’s little outburst in 6x04 at the party means that “Becho is toxic”. Well, if you actually watch the rest of the episode you’d see that there was a loving resolution to this “fight” 🙄

As Echo is walking away from Bellamy at the party, Bellamy instantly hangs his head in regret. He then immediately goes to find her and apologizes. He tells her “I’m a jerk. I was taking my feelings about Octavia out on you” and “I’m sorry”. Then we see Echo open up to him about her past and would you look at that! Their romantic relationship is being explicitly developed on screen! The trust! The love! The tears in Bellamy’s eyes as he listens (it hurts him just to hear what she’s been through)! The way he gets up on his bad leg (thanks Clarke) and goes to comfort her, kisses her head before he even sits down and tells her “Everything we’ve been through has brought us here. From now on, we look forward, not back”, fully committed to her and reaffirming that they’re in this together. Then Bellamy touches his forehead to Echo’s, but that’s not close enough so they kiss to be together. Their love is so palpable.

Show me where this is toxic??? Because it’s not and you can’t just say things. Words have meaning. I don’t understand how anyone can deny that lovingly resolving a misunderstanding only strengthens Becho. Getting in disagreements/arguments is part of every relationship. Becho having one (one-sided) “fight” doesn’t make them toxic. Especially when Bellamy immediately goes to apologize, knows that what he did was wrong and wasn’t fair, and they talk about their feelings and work through it together. That’s like the exact opposite of being toxic.

It's fine not to ship them, but there's no need to be willfully obtuse about canon or what the show presents. Their romantic relationship is not toxic and is arguably the healthiest one on the show.

Garbage take #3

Becho’s development happened off screen, Becho has no development, etc.

In season 5 Bellamy and Echo are revealed to be in a romantic relationship. I’ve already addressed how the ‘no development’ claim is just a blatant lie, so I won’t repeat myself here (you can just read about it in my other post which was previously linked). But let’s talk about why this “argument” is also pretty garbage and is once again made in bad faith.

S5 is THE definitive Becho season (and it absolutely slaps). Blorkes couldn’t accept that Becho were a couple because they intentionally chose to ignore all of their previous development and then had the nerve to (falsely) claim that it all happened off screen. (Which is blatantly untrue, but even if it was true - quick reminder that “lack of development” doesn’t seem to be an issue for Marper - it’s just a problem for Becho 🙄 even though most of S4 was explicitly focused on developing Bellamy and Echo’s relationship while Harper and Monty had sex once and then were instantly a couple...hypocrites 🤷). It’s the flagrant refusal to accept what’s being shown on screen that bothers me. You don’t need to make up lies and spread asinine comments about the characters - you can just acknowledge that the show is going down a route you don’t personally like. You don’t need to twist yourselves into a pretzel to justify your preferred ship. Just be honest about what’s really upsetting you.

I’ll admit that it’s fair to say you wished we could have seen more of their development becoming explicitly romantic, but the ground work is absolutely there and to say there’s NO development and that it all happened off screen (ala Gina the walking plot device who didn’t exist as a character until she showed up as Bellamy’s gf for all of 5 mins before getting killed off) is just simply untrue. And while I’m addressing genuine criticism/complaints, it’s definitely frustrating that we never got to see any flashbacks of the Ring during S5 despite getting to see both Clarke and the Bunker during the 6 year jump. Thankfully, we did eventually get to see Becho’s first kiss flashback (swoon 🥰) in S7 but even without explicitly seeing Spacekru flashbacks during S5, all of Becho and Spacekru’s interactions throughout the season made it perfectly clear how much they all loved each other and were a family. The writing and character interactions easily convey to the audience Spacekru’s closeness and tightknit bond and it was a joy to watch. Because Octavia becomes Blodreina, you need to see at least some of how that happened, so we get bunker flashbacks. And Madi is an entirely new character, so we have to see how she met Clarke. But it’s actually not that big of a leap to get to romantic Becho since it was clearly set up (we also don’t see Memori break up, but again it’s not a big leap to understand why they would given the explanation we got), so Spacekru flashbacks aren’t actually necessary although they would have been greatly appreciated.

Garbage take #4

Bellamy doesn’t care about Echo and abandoned her for Clarke

This is somehow the narrative blorkes like to perpetuate about S6, but again this is completely factually incorrect. If what they are referring to is Bellamy going to get Josephine out of Clarke’s body while Echo stays back and looks after everyone else, it still makes no sense. There is no reading of the show in which this garbage claim has any basis. Bellamy would never willingly leave Echo behind (splitting up to take care of something they previously established they were going to do is not abandoning her 🙄x50).

Here’s what is actually happening in that scene: Echo is the one who tells Bellamy that she will stay and “keep the others safe”, and that he should “go save Clarke”. (keep in mind that saving Clarke actually isn’t the end goal of what they are trying to do here anyway. They are trying to get Josephine’s mind drive to use as leverage with Russell so that their people can have a place to live). Echo told him to go because the alarms were going off and they needed to get Josephine to Gabriel instead of waiting for Jackson to get to them and take out the mind drive. Context fucking matters. Blorkes just love to twist anything onscreen to fit their agenda and it just ends up making them look delusional.

As for “Bellamy not caring about Echo”, show me where????? S6 gave us one of their softest and sweetest scenes (as well as a fireside cuddle) that begs to differ. All of S5 begs to differ. Hell, all of S4 begs to differ too. In fact, the entire goddam show begs to differ. Bellamy “sprint into the arms of my girlfriend Echo” Blake begs to differ. This garbage take has no basis in canon. It’s once again just another bad faith claim by blorkes who are hardcore projecting. Because guess what? Not caring about the other person is exactly the way Clarke feels (or more accurately doesn’t) about Bellamy. Clarke left Bellamy to die in Polis in S5. Clarke physically slapped him in his face. This is canon. That’s THEIR ship, that’s not how Bellamy feels about Echo.

Blorkes like to say Becho don’t have any scenes together, but they’re really just so tilted that Echo gets her own plotlines every season, has relevance to the story, and actually isn’t solely defined by her relationship with Bellamy. She can’t be “just Bellamy’s girlfriend” while blorkes claim that “Becho doesn’t even have any scenes together“. Those are two contradictory statements guys... again, stick to a story please. So we have Schrödinger’s Echo, who is somehow both “just Bellamy’s girlfriend” and also “doesn’t have any scenes with him”. Give me a break. Neither of these statements are true and they’re honestly just dumb. It makes blorkes furious that Echo gets narrative focus each season, so they decide to twist that into “she and Bellamy don’t share any scenes”. But guess what? Queen gets both 👑. She can cuddle by the fire with her little spoon boyfriend and also spread the seeds of revolution while sniping at Russel with her bow and arrow during an execution to save her family and friends.

Also to the people who think S6 was so good for bellarke

Why didn’t Bellamy actually realize that Clarke wasn’t Clarke. Josephine reveals herself to him, he didn’t figure it out 🥴 (Echo was able to piece it together though, so Clecho Endgame I guess)

At the naming day lantern thing, Clarke tells Bellamy that she “lost sight” of him (supposedly) being important to her. She tells him that he is her family too (which he doesn’t verbalize back oop) and she won’t forget it. How nice that that’s something Clarke COULD forget and that she said that to his face 🥴

Bellamy is oblivious that Josephine is impersonating Clarke, so much so that when he hears her say “chill out” to Gaia, he repeats back “chill out? Happiness looks good on you”. He can’t even tell that’s not Clarke and he actually thinks she looks happy 🥴

Why was Bellamy completely unfazed, not jealous at all, and totally cool with Clarke having sex with Cillian. He even says “I take it you had fun with the doctor?” and Josephine!Clarke says back “let’s just say it’ll be a while until he recovers” and Bellamy couldn’t care less that “Clarke” is talking to him about her sexcapades with other people. There’s no angst or jealousy or longing looks or sadness lsdjsdkf. He’s genuinely happy for her. Then he makes an “ugh TMI” face and turns away. As if the thought of Clarke having sex in general is uncomfortable. Great blarke content, much romance 🥴

When Josephine has control of Clarke’s body she flirts with Murphy (and not Bellamy... a huge L in the metastory)

When Josephine is in Clarke’s mind and has access to all of her innermost thoughts and feelings - there’s no mention of any hidden or repressed romantic feelings for Bellamy (but we do get Josephine taunting Clarke about an actual love interest - “it’s why you cry when you think of Lexa”). Where was all this good blarke content guys?? 😩

The crumbs were extra stale in S6 if you ask me... almost as if the story between Bellamy and Clarke is, in fact, not a romance 🥴 🥴 🥴

ANYWAY

Becho as a couple are emotionally supportive of one another, unshakably stable, communicative, open, and loving. They support each other, they fight for each other, and they absolutely cherish each other. Whoops looks like I accidently wrote a thesis paper (and I’m sure I still managed to leave a bunch of stuff out). Thankfully, the show is the show. And it will always be about canon romantic Becho. And blorkes can die mad about it while we rewatch and enjoy the show to our heart’s content 😊

#The 100 #Becho #Echo Kom Azgeda #Bellamy Blake #anti bellarke #Becho positivity #becho musings #this started out as just looking at Becho as a couple #but then I remembered some truly garbage takes that were so smelly #I had to eviscerate them #so please enjoy my now incoherent Becho ramblings #with some anti bellarke sentiment splashed in #I hope this makes some kind of sense #I had to get all this out for my own sanity #help this is so long and maybe a little bit all over the place #TLDR; all blorke criticisms of becho are just them projecting the worst parts of their ship they refuse to acknowledge #I'm so envious of new fans who never have to witness blorkes firsthand #I sincerely believe blorkes don't have a single brain cell between them #thanks for coming to my TED talk #grab a bagel on your way out

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newhologram · 4 years

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I use crutches, and if my friend who was, say, a dedicated runner had a leg injury and was stuck on crutches, causing them to lose the thing that brought them joy and fulfillment, and they said "My life is a waste", I wouldn't make it about me. They have their own situation. If I complain because being cut off from the things that bring ME joy and fulfillment are cut off and my life feels empty and wasted, that's not about anyone else.

I differ with you on the ingestion and interpretation of this human experience, but I also do think your defensive response and repeated mind-reading assumptions is a symptom of you not coping well, so I’m going to ask that after this response of mine, you disengage for both your health and mine. I’m dealing with a colitis flare up, my ass has been bleeding for days, I’m in pain, I’m bloated in a backbrace, I’m super anemic right now, and there are frankly more important things I have to take care of than correcting anon assumptions more than twice (like making content for the sole purpose of helping people--non-disabled as well--with learning how to cope).

Failure to honor this boundary I’ve set will result in insta-blocking (this goes for any other anons like this, so be careful). I don’t need an apology or anything either, so please just save both our energy and don’t send another ask. Here is where I differ: It’s not “making it about me” when the belief that disabled lives are “wastes”/burdens/have less value because they can’t always be productive in the way that society views as meaningful has a body count around the world.

You can point out blind spots while still being supportive. It’s okay to point out blind spots. Friends should point out blind spots. Activists should point out blind spots. When someone’s complaint about lockdown and how it’s made them feel about themselves gets shared all over Twitter, it’s unfortunately removed from its original context which was the user saying “this is JUST MY FEELINGS and not reflective of HOW I FEEL ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE”--and as a result, after many shares, you start to see the disconnect, and you unfortunately realize something sad when you read the comments: Disabled people are told “stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop letting what you can’t do define you, etc” for the same reason (ableism, capitalism, other things likely) these people feel worthless because 2020 forced them to stop doing everything that brought them joy and meaning in a life that demands so much resilience from us already. It’s an unhealthy way of thinking no matter who it comes from.

Lots of my non-disabled friends have reached out to me this year, asking, “how do you do it?” because they are barely holding it together having to be isolated. They’ve expressed to me that they feel like their lives are wastes, and that they know I went through it to the extreme upon sudden adulthood disability, so they feel silly even feeling that way after going through barely what I went through. And your assumption is that I just snap at them? Or something? Because I agree with a post that is critical of all the people saying things they don’t realize are casually ableist and super unhealthy?

Instead of telling them what I tell every person who reaches out in private or public for help with dealing with something difficult: It’s not a contest. You are feeling this for the first time and it’s intense and you’re allowed to feel that. Nothing about the way you are feeling is wrong. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to process it all. Please hang in there and please reach out. It’s possible to have compassion for what they are struggling with while also being like “Yikes, I don’t know if people realize they sound like they’re saying an unproductive life is not worth living. That’s dangerous and we should address it.”

#ableism #disability #anonymous #ask

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studystock9 · 3 years

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Meet Adam Bauman, the Director of Scouting and Analytics for Alabama basketball. he's the assistant unseen, even to accurate-notch cameramen, and his enter to the Tide's innovation, no matter if in recruiting, scouting of opponents, or fashion-spotting outliers in the team's performance via records, is all a part of a job description currently transforming into in popularity. it's simply that his boss spotted the game's path before most else. he is one other pair of eyes as receptive to the role numbers play within the video game as Oats, the excessive school math instructor-became-SEC train of the year. And he's been with him because he turned into at Buffalo, after he served as a supervisor to the Southern Illinois basketball software and spent time as a graduate assistant at diverse stops following commencement from SIU. Bauman enters 12 months three at Alabama, and he is paid his dues of rebuilding the program internally as others have. And he's witnessed its quick growth from year one to yr two under its aggressive chief. Yet, as completed because the Tide became final season, its notion of being offensively-driven is a half-reality. "if you seem to be on the analytics and also you appear at the numbers, the difference was we went from being out of the right a hundred defensively to being in the correct 5 for probably the most part of the season," Bauman said. "after which the 2nd part of the yr we had been suitable-three, so that changed into most likely the biggest change." it be a multi-dissimilar perception to why Alabama generally more desirable defensively from 2019-20 to 2020-21, and here are the numbers: Two years ago, its protective effectivity score changed into ninety nine.5, which ranked 114th nationally. closing season its ranking entire at 87.8, rating third-most fulfilling in school basketball, per KenPom. or not it's personnel, personnel, and, yes, personnel. Oats and Co. ably equalized offenses by way of trotting out longer, greater athletic gamers who were more suitable at smothering ball monitors, shut outs, and other moves that defensively hamstrung the crew the year prior due to less dimension and insurance. subsequently, the Crimson Tide won each the standard season and event championship of its convention, back to the sweet 16 circular of the NCAA event for the first time due to the fact that 2003-04, had an NBA Lottery select for the 2d consecutive season in shelter Joshua Primo, and nonetheless its two-year transition from a first round NIT exit to a trendy ultimate 4 pick amongst event consultants is wondered in that its sustainability invitations accepted reluctance. at the moment, and main as much as early autumn, the instruct-speak cliché of no longer residing on previous performances, negative and otherwise, does not observe to those in the partitions of Coleman Coliseum, the domestic arena of Alabama basketball. Bauman, Oats, and others all binged basketball all offseason to identify talents improvements, previous blunders, and the explanation why the Tide exited within the third circular of the NCAA tournament in its loss to UCLA, a countrywide semifinalist thereafter. though the Bruins weren't a novel focus so much as an usual representation of a barrier to splinter. "We did some deep dives into what went wrong offensively. well, not always what went incorrect, however why we dipped," Bauman talked about. "at the floor stage, simply searching at the stats and where we ranked in definite areas, we acquired our shot blocked a lot and then our turnover cost ended up being pretty bad on the yr." 'Bama ranked 157th within the NCAA with a turnover fee of 18.6 % of its possessions, and in its seven losses it shot forty four p.c on two-element field purpose attempts compared to the season regular of over 50 p.c. element within the Crimson Tide's excessive number of tried three-factor shots—totaling over forty six % of its shots taken, ranking 18th nationally—and you'd determine a lot of these two-factor field goals had been at or close the rim in its losses last season. Bauman attributes its struggles on the rim to either bad reads or indecisiveness, announcing Alabama avid gamers obligatory extra two-footed flora down low to examine the protection, locate an open man, or set up a far better scoring opportunity. in the meantime ... What adjustments had been made, you ask yourself, neatly, the Crimson Tide not directly consulted with one of the vital few consistent contenders of school basketball, Gonzaga, to improve its own software from a distance. See, under educate Mark Few, the Zags are most akin to Alabama upon floor-degree digging, and the one-loss country wide runner-up turned into the only team alongside Oats' crew to each finish with its possessions per forty minutes mark north of seventy three and to conclude within the good 25 of the remaining AP ballot. Gonzaga ranked seventh nationally and Alabama comprehensive eleventh. "There changed into a time when we in reality went via every possession of Gonzaga’s this yr," Bauman talked about. "The largest difference between Gonzaga and us is that they have way greater participant flow. They’re at all times slashing guys, and swing-swing and moving, and that’s how they get more assisted photographs at the rim." “however we’ve also taken some stuff they do and we’ve stated it, about instituting greater player circulation." there is a steadiness, though, given how Alabama likes to operate. In its equipment, if you'd even define it as such with the volume of player freedom it emphasizes, there are less chess items moving at once, but the ones who're moved around the metaphorical board are more consequential to the success of the on-court docket collective. And the Crimson Tide offense cannot stray too far from that. It ties lower back to turnovers, peculiarly in case you accept as true with that Alabama's offense is built on participant reads as opposed to units, performs, or the rest to skew the correct mix of liberal ball move and pressure-then-kick out options. opposite an initiator, the "MIG," the most critical guy away from the ball, as Bauman explained, is who Oats' offense is based on, and his job is to direct protecting traffic to a considerable number of areas of the flooring so Alabama creates its chances and isolates scorers as superior it may devoid of compromising rhythmic timing. but all this makes for a bounce from prep basketball to high-degree SEC play, and prospects who pique the activity of Crimson Tide coaches always share equivalent features. For Oats and his workforce, their recruiting philosophy hasn't modified lots, both. "Positional size is huge, size is huge, athleticism is large, and that they should be in a position to shoot the ball," Bauman spoke of. "if they can shoot it, and that they're lengthy and athletic then we can type of cope with the relaxation." The usual peak of players on the Alabama roster last season was a shade beneath 6-foot-5 at 77.7 inches, and whereas the colloquialism of "big man beats little man" is basically actual in basketball, the video game now champions variables like wingspan and lateral athleticism because it's moved to a extra guard and wing-heavy playstyle with players who're, ideally, able to filling almost every function on the ground. To phrase it in a different way, the sport of faculty basketball may additionally had been in the back of the times of Oats and his personnel considering he became at Buffalo, and everybody is catching on when it comes to roster construction, player development, and enhancements internally. And as imaginative because the Crimson Tide has been on the grounds that Oats' arrival, as well as Bauman and a number of different assistants, the as soon as-clear advantage of zigging to the zag at a mid-important program like Buffalo has diminished. What's left is a body of workers developed by means of the work of Bauman and others who's inclined to well known what should exchange, and due to this fact, might not likely sit still inspite of how many greater trophies accumulate in Coleman Coliseum. "someone's outworking you, somebody's doing something to set themselves aside, and lots of us are aligned in that considering, but it surely all starts with Nate." As for that plateau ... 먹튀검증

#먹튀검증

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rebel-in-white · 3 years

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The Perfect Ending for Dean and Sam? - Supernatural 15x20

As I read reviews about the Supernatural series, nothing disturbs me more than reading things like the title of this essay, “This was the Perfect Ending for Sam and Dean.” It’s disturbing because as fans of this 15-year show, we are accepting mediocrity. Far from being a perfect ending, this was one of the worst television show endings that I have ever seen because the characters weren’t allowed to change and grow.

When I watched the Supernatural series finale, I was struck by the realization that this could have easily been the finale of season 1. In season 1, we were dealing with Dean’s feelings of being second best, Sam wanting a “normal” life, Dean choosing the dangerous world of hunting, and the value of saving the innocent despite the dangers. In episode 15x20, the episode implies that we are still dealing with the same themes from episode 1, even though SO many events have passed, and Sam and Dean dealt with their own issues in varying ways. Dean’s death during a mundane hunt harks back to season 1’s warnings and omens about the dangerous life of a hunter. Meanwhile in season 15, the Winchesters are fighting God and survived that battle. Sam’s “happy” ending harks back to his desire to be with Jessica and find a happy, “apple pie” (normal) life. Meanwhile in season 15, Sam has lost everything… again. He lost his adopted son, his good friend, his mother for the second time, his surrogate father, his girlfriend (what happened to Eileen?), and his brother. Also, let’s not forget that Adam died and was a Winchester. Season 15 does not agree with, and contradicts, its final episode.

Everything that has happened after season 1 and right before the series finale doesn’t matter. That is the message the series finale communicated with fans. Some fans might be alright with this message because it’s such a long series, too much has happened, but there are many fans who have avidly watched these characters grow and change. They themselves have grown and changed with these characters! Watching the finale felt like a slap in the face, a surreal dream, because the writers and the show-runner shut the door on any type of meaningful change that has occurred throughout the series. Throughout the years, Sam and Dean were able to create meaningful connections outside of their partnership, noticeably with Jack and Cas. Both were only mentioned. That merits repeating again. Castiel, who had become a fan favorite in the series, only gets a few mentions. Dean, the one with whom he shares a profound bond, shrugs off his death and continues enjoying his pie. Like the last 12 years of developing that friendship, emphasizing their bond, and teasing fans with their deep connection meant nothing. Because ultimately, the show sent a clear message to its viewers: it doesn’t matter what these characters have gone through, it doesn’t matter the people who have come and enriched their lives, but what matters is where they started. The journey, and the accompanying life experiences, don’t matter.

I read a really hurtful review about the series finale that implied that Sam could only be happy on Earth because his brother had died. He was no longer his brother’s keeper, so now he could have everything he wanted- a family and normalcy. That was the Sam of season 1 - before his brother died for him, before he died for his brother, before his demon blood addiction, before he saved the world numerous times, before he adopted a half angel kid into his family, before meeting his Mom again. All of those experiences profoundly change a person. His idea of normal and happiness changed, became vastly different. The show hinted at this when we saw the names carved on the table in episode 15x19. Sam stopped running away from hunting, his duties, struggled with his destiny, and fought for his freedom and seemed content with what he had. The show even implied a budding romance with a fellow hunter, Eileen. Sam from season 1 would have turned away from all this because it interfered with his desire to be normal. However, this was shoved at Sam in the most confusing, contrived, and sickening manner. After Dean dies during the series finale, Sam mopes for a bit, then he goes on a hunt, and reverts back to Sam of season 1 with ease. He gets everything he’d wanted- an unnamed, unseen wife and a child who he names Dean. If Sam from episode 15x19, 15x18, from any episode after season 1, saw this ending for himself, he would have run away screaming. He wouldn’t be able to accept it. Why? Because that’s not what he wanted for himself anymore. He wanted to be with his loved ones, which included Dean plus his extended family.

If Sam’s ending was problematic, Dean’s is inconceivable. This is a character who has struggled with so many issues and low self-esteem and has gone through so many ups and downs that to see him die, impaled on a nail by clowns, devastated and confused many fans. I actually laughed out loud when he died because it was so ridiculous. It hurt to see a beloved character treated like trash, then proceed to accept his death with arms wide open. Where was Dean’s desire to live? This is the man who survived hell, saved the world several times, sacrificed himself for Sam, and had to fight daily to survive. And I don’t mean in a I’m-a-hunter-and-life-is-dangerous way, but in a real, this-world-is-fucked-up-and-I-can’t-do-it anymore way.

That was what always attracted me to Dean. His fight to survive in a world that didn’t make sense to him, and his ability to cling to life despite feeling too broken and inadequate. For many of the fans, they resonated with that and admired him for his grit and his humanity. In the series finale, Dean gives up. He accepts death, accepts this strange looking heaven, even though he was weirded out by heaven when he first encountered it. He rides around in his car- alone and waiting for Sam. That’s what Dean boils down to- alone and living for Sam. The show sends a message that Dean doesn’t deserve anything else. Despite everything he’s done throughout the 15 years of this series, Dean can’t escape his destiny to die on a mundane hunt. The same death that had been foreshadowed in season 1. With only his brother with him to see him go. Dean fought so hard to be free from Chuck’s stories and from his own demons that to see him reduced to drinking beer and riding around in the Impala felt like he’s regressed 15 years. And some fans think he deserved this? What has Dean done to you?

Dean had potential to show growth and to show true change and progress through a possible relationship with Castiel, but the show metaphorically gave its queer fans, their allies, and narrowed minded viewers a big middle finger. Yes, even people who hated the idea of Destiel, you should be angry. Instead of the show stretching your thinking and challenging you to accept something different and progressive, the show decided to pat you on the head and feed you some metaphorical shit. Please don’t eat it. Throughout the show, there had been signs that Dean and Castiel shared a profound bond that extended into a romantic subtext. It started with the angel’s entrance and charisma, and Dean’s acceptance of him into his life (very rare for Dean to form lasting relationships), and it ended with a confirmed love confession. Now, imagine that you’ve been hoping for years that all these hints, looks, and jokes would go somewhere. That maybe someone will validate your views and make you feel like you’ve brought progressive change to television. Well, that’s what it felt like to be a Destiel fan after episode 15x18. Destiel became half canon! Castiel declared his romantic feelings to Dean, which Misha Collins confirmed to be of a homosexual nature, but he knew that he couldn’t have what he wanted. He died to save a shell-shocked Dean Winchester. Not only did the show kill Castiel, but they sent him to hell (granted, he didn’t stay long), and they sent Dean Winchester, the man who stayed “straight,” to heaven.

This was problematic in many ways. One, the message is homophobic, heinous, but subtle. If you’re gay or queer, you are thrown away, never to be seen again because your feelings will upset the masses. It’s what happened to Castiel, a confirmed queer character. When episode 15x20 finished and Dean hadn’t even mentioned Castiel out of his own freewill, I was upset. Here comes the second problem. This show had used queer-baiting for the past 12 years or so to keep its numbers up and to keep itself on the air. It used queer-baiting to a most hurtful and insidious way to attract viewers to the series finale. Then, they shut it down after teasing something that several, enthusiastic fans had wanted for years. Why open this pandora box if you aren’t going to do anything with it? What is the point? Leading people to create false assumptions, playing with people’s emotions in a negative way, reinforcing negative heteronomative stereotypes- this is what the show has accomplished. This is its legacy.

I wrote this essay to free myself from this show. After this, I am not a Supernatural fan anymore. This show has left a bad taste in my mouth, and I want nothing to do with it or anyone associated with it. I urge you to free yourselves as well and also to not accept this mediocrity that Supernatural gave us. Stop other shows and networks from manipulating and leading on its fans. Stop them from ignoring years of growth in order to feed you the same story and keep you mediocre and small. I know the pandemic of 2020 made things difficult, but that’s no excuse to create the subpar work the Supernatural writers/show-runner/staff did. With just a little bit of creativity and intelligence, they could have produced something great, no matter the obstacles. I used to believe in that.

Supernatural, thank you for the years of enjoyment, but I never want to see you again.

#supernatural #supernatural series finale #supernatural series #dean winchester #sam winchester #cw spn #carry on #supernatural 15x20 #15x20 carry on #essay

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airlock · 5 years

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so! Fire Emblem: Three Houses is a game that delves deep, although not very deep, in the complexities of politics and administration... and so, people get to talk about how these things happen, both in Fódlan and, as a token of comparison, in the real world!

which is why I, some college student with no background in polisci whatsoever, have decided to write this whole post on the realistic reasons why people should not want a meritocracy, whether it’s being brought about their favorite white-haired girl in a fictional world or being promised by a politician in real life who is probably swindling you

sounds like a bit of a trip, right? meritocracy is a compelling idea on paper -- eliminate entrenched privileges, give everything to the people who deserve it. we especially find such ideas inspirational when we live in times of ridged inequalities, where some people are born with everything and others with nothing, and the former continue to take everything even as they repeatedly prove their failings, while the latter toil no matter what qualities they might have. nonetheless, it’s just not that simple, and the meritocratic ideal is even one of the things that got us into this mess to begin with!

let’s go blow by blow, shall we?

merit is subjective

as it turns out, meritocracy is a very fancy way of saying “I want the people who are in charge to be good people” -- which is what we’d all be supporting if it were just that simple! you might have noticed the snag, though, in that it looks a lot more ridiculous when you replace “meritorious”, “accomplished”, “competent”, etc. with “good”, despite those being equally vague descriptors of value.

I’ll get to the point: what is merit? who decides what is merit? who decides what is meritorious?

you might quickly find out that these questions have haunted not only governments but every form of administration for millenia now -- schools, companies, recreational competitions, the artistic world... and no one, no one, ever arrives on a one answer that always works.

since Edelgard never puts forth ideas of a system through which merit might be determined -- like, say, exams, which have their own failings -- the assumption is that she’s intending to handpick whoever she might want in charge, which is a common way of implementing meritocracy. and also a terrible one! now, your position in society is dictated by the extent to which you can impress the emperor -- who, however discering, isn’t perfect, or capable of giving everyone the clinical eye. if a system of “impress the person in charge to get in” were capable of living up to the meritocratic ideal, most of us would be having far less trouble with jobs.

although not all of us, anyway, since so many of us are neurodivergent -- and oh yes, those of us who are should know from a mile away that meritocracies have this particular problem...

the meritocratic ideal is ableist

callout post for the- ahem

have you perchance seen Edelgard and Linhardt’s support conversations? the one where he repeatedly frustrates Edelgard by being too neurodivergent to put his gifts to the efficient streamlined methodology that she favours? the one where he makes it clear that he can’t thrive in a result-oriented environment, so Edelgard busts her rump to figure out some way to give him a job that makes use of his talents?

well, he was lucky that he got to personally befriend the emperor and weasel her into some distincitvely unmeritocratic policy, because anyone else who cannot thrive in a result-oriented environment will have no such luck. and that’s precisely what a meritocratic society is: a result-oriented environment of society itself.

hell, you could even take a moment to notice that a lot of the insults that are routinely hurled at disabled people are also the criticisms that people make of those they wish to eliminate through meritocracy. y’know, “lazy”, “weak”, “moocher”, the works.

now, would this be any better if our Supreme Arbitrer of Merit were exceptionally woke and able to mitigate this, be it through assistance or by implementing metrics of merit that better suit the neurodivergent? perhaps. but as we think through these utopias, we ram a separate problem...

meritocracies cannot be implemented in a vacuum

the meritocratic narrative has us constantly thinking of the incompetent privileged vs. the competent underprivleged, but those simply aren’t the only types of people who exist in society. in fact, we’d have to expect that privilege would mostly make people more competent -- this doesn’t sound great until you realize that the alternative is to claim that poverty is good because it builds character and other similar kinds of nonsense we very much know to be untrue.

when it comes down to it, anyone can sit on the throne and say “I declare meritocracy to be happenning right now”, but saying that doesn’t erase the inequalities previously existing in the system. if I decided to make the whole world participate in a race a month from now, everyone starting from the same starting line and running the same course to the end, who do you think would win -- someone who eats well everyday and has as much leisure time as they want to practice running, or someone who has to continue working three jobs? sure, every now and then you’d have an exceptional runner out of the unexpected end, and you’d also have lots of privileged people who just don’t feel like runnin’, but systematically speaking, most of the winners would still probably be the ones who can throw more resources at winning.

and that’s to say nothing of the fact that pre-existing privileges also make it a lot easier to perform merit. I’ve mentioned both schools and exams so far in this post about meritocracy, right? there’s something in that topic that my mind keeps coming back to, actually -- entry exams for universities in my country.

right now, my country is experiencing an elusive demographical phenomenon where the majority of the population is college-aged; in a good country, this would mean college-level education would be thriving, but in this country, it means that each university has become far more selective with who gets to enroll. thus, all the universities with any sort of prestige above the level of “pay to get your Instant Diploma (Just Add Water) here” run yearly entry exams and enroll the people who get the best scores. sounds meritocratic, right? except now, there’s also a rash of cram schools dedicated to training people to do well on these exams, and with the high demand, they tend to be somewhat costly. in other words, if you’re born into money, you’ll have an opportunity to be taught the rotes necessary to pass the verification of merit.

people haven’t yet figured out a way to prevent meritocracies from just completely corroding under the weight of that problem, given enough time. whatever the metric you set for merit -- even if it is, in fact, the metric of “impress the emperor” -- someone will start selling better prospects for fitting that metric, and the ones buying will be the already privileged ones.

but even if it weren’t for all that...

meritocracy is discrimination

so far, I’ve mostly exponded on the issues with “merit”; however, the real gaping one actually lies in “kratos”, power.

“everything to the people who have earned it” sounds like good mote, if you don’t think too much about the converse -- “nothing to the people who have not earned it”. however successfully you might address all the other problems I’ve brought up so far, the fact is that meritocracies, inherently through their design, build societies of haves and have-nots.

and the thing is, there’s no turning back once you do that. eventually, a generation will pass, and the haves and have-nots will have passed the torch to their children; whose children will be best prepared to perform merit? and besides, giving power to the meritorious means they get to make decisions, set policies, write laws -- what’s stopping them from decreeing, blatantly or subtly, that society should favour their own and disfavour their enemies?

in other words, meritocracies can’t create societies with more equal opportunities, because they are inherently unequal themselves. in fact, basically all the notable unequal systems we’ve experienced historically were born as meritocracies of some sort. you know the nobility system that edelgard hates so much? in real-life Europe, the nobles were mostly the far-flung descendants of the most meritorious roman generals. and as for us, living under the boots of the 1% who can do whatever they want? once upon a time, these people had all the same rights as a peasant. and when the day comes when we finally topple these buffoons in the name of not just a better society but also an extant planet, the only way we can break the cycle is by not buying into the idea that meritocracies are a good thing -- be it in fiction or in real life.

#my stupid text posts #Fire Emblem is tagged in this post #Fódlan FE is tagged in this post #FE16 spoilers are tagged in this post #the text proper also touches on ableism and inequality so yeah that happens

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adamwatchesmovies · 4 years

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The Best of 2019

What a year. By the time 2019 ended, I had seen over 130 new movies. It's actually probably closer to 150 but I lost count. There are a few titles I missed, such as The Dead Don’t Die, The Fanatic and Honeyland so obviously, this is not an all-encompassing, definitive list of 2019’s best, but it should give you a good idea of which films you need to check out if you haven’t already.

I usually like to save the #10 spot on my list for a movie that’s just for me. Normally, this would mean a giant monster movie, an off-beat creation nobody else saw, a comic book movie that spoke to my particular tastes or maybe a Canadian movie I know didn’t get the opportunity to shine like it should’ve. This year, that’s not happening. Trimming my list down to 10 was hard enough. I certainly wasn’t going to sacrifice one more to make it just 9. Let's dig in.

10. The Farewell

It’s been weeks since The Farewell and I’m still thinking about it. If I was put in the same position as Billi, I'm not sure what I'd do? Is it better to tell someone that's dying that their days are numbered, or should you spare them from that burden? Is it really them you’d be sparing, or is keeping the secret for your own selfish needs? Writer/director Lulu Wang asks serious questions about culture I had never contemplated before. There’s a lot for you here and even more if your family comes from mixed backgrounds.

9. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I heard some complaints about Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) not being the main character of this film by Marielle Heller, from writers Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster. It was the right choice. The plot has a cyical reporter meet Rogers and through their relatively brief interaction, learn what we knew going in. It delivers a moving character arc without having to stain its subject with flaws we didn't want to see. The quasi-meta presentation is what elevates it into top-10 status. That extra touch means it does a lot more than simply re-iterate what we saw in the 2018 documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?.

8. Knives Out

Knives Out is one of the most entertaining films all year. There are no profound moments of meditation, no earth-shattering realizations about yourself, just a mystery to be solved. All the suspects are so intriguing they could be the stars of their own movies. Put together in the same house as a dead body and you’ve got no idea who did it. Its screenplay is excellent. The twists are juicy. Everything ads up in a satisfying manner. Rian Johnson is already working on a sequel. I can’t wait.

7. Apollo 11

There are few holdovers from the list I made halfway through the year, which either says something about the strength of the second half of 2019, or the weakness of the first. Either way, you’ve got to see Apollo 11. It’s the closest thing to going back in time and being there when man landed on the moon. The tension and anticipation are overwhelming. Knowing what happened doesn't matter. The way the footage is assembled is nothing short of incredible. Why this documentary wasn't present at the Academy Awards is beyond me.

6. Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler should’ve been nominated for an Oscar. He wasn’t. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it's because of his association with all of those brain-dead Happy Madison Production comedies. His history with cinema shouldn't matter. The movie is what matters. The fact is, this was the perfect role for him. It isn’t even that Sandler’s doing something different, it’s that he’s being used to his full potential. If you weren’t glued to the screen, eager to see what’s coming next, this movie would have you jumping out of the window screaming - anything to escape the anxiety the Safdie Brothers serve up with devilish grins.

5. The Lighthouse

Next on my list is The Lighthouse. Right away, the aspect ratio and black-and-white cinematography lets you know you’re in for something different. You have no idea. What I love so much about this film is the way it handles madness. At the end of the day, I’m not sure if I could tell you if Robert Pattinson’s character was crazy, if Willem Dafoe’s character was the nutty one, or if they both were. It shows you just enough to make you doubt your own sanity. It’s also unexpectedly funny, which makes it feel oddly genuine. In one scene, Robert Pattinson's Ephraim Winslow gets a hold of the lighthouse's logs. In it, his boss, Thomas (Willem Dafoe) recommends Ephraim be disciplined for masturbating excessively. Considering Thomas has been cavorting with some kind of tentacle creature up in the lighthouse (at least that's what I think I saw, I'm not so sure anymore), all you can do is laugh. What kind of loony bin is this turning into? One I'm looking forward to revisiting.

4. 1917

Shot in a way that makes it all look like one take, 1917 is a technical marvel. It hooks itself up to your circular system and steadily replaces your blood with pure, undistilled stress. As you're about to flatline, it stops and gives you a breather. A shot of a meadow untouched by the ravages of war; a reminder of what the soldiers are fighting for and of how utterly devastating armed combat is on humanity as a whole. Gorgeous cinematography, powerful emotions, magnificent production values.

3. Joker

Along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters (a movie they basically made for me), this was my most anticipated movie of the year. To get ready, I watched Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, two Scorsese films Joker director Todd Phillips drew a lot of inspiration from. For some reason, it seems as though many critics took offense to the similarities. Sometimes I understand differing opinions from mine. This time, I don’t. It’s a great film that warns of the dangers of letting people like Arthur Fleck (brilliantly performed by Joaquin Phoenix) fall through the cracks. Left unchecked, he discovers that by doing terrible things, he becomes a “better” version of himself. It’s not a drama. It’s a horror movie that spins the familiar Batman archenemy in a new direction but also stays true to the character. There are several scenes in this movie that are going to be permanently imprinted in my brain. Those stairs. Need I say more?

Runner-ups

Avengers: Endgame

Even if every single Marvel movie going forward is awful, this caps off the whopping 22-chapter saga epically. A couple of aspects bugged me enough that it could only manage to make the runner-up list but it's a terrific film.

Booksmart

The funniest comedy of the year. I think back to Amy and Molly using their hairs as masks and still can't manage to hold back a few chuckles months later.

Toy Story 4

This one was hard to cut. The only flaw I could find was that it isn’t on the same level as 3… even though they’re both 5-star movies.

Midsommar

I’ve heard the extended cut is even better than the original. I wish I’d had the chance to see it in theatres.

Jojo Rabbit

Audacious and heartfelt. I loved those scenes of Scarlett Johanson being a mom. Her agent might've dropped the ball getting her cast in Ghost in the Shell but she sure knew how to pick great work in 2019.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino brings us back to a time when Roman Polanski was simply a good director instead of a convicted rapist, movie stars were untouchable, and the death of someone’s wife under mysterious circumstances was nothing to raise eyebrows about. It’s not a movie that screams “here and now”. If anything, it’s regressive. That said, I cannot deny the experience I had watching it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing and I doubt even Tarantino could pull it off again. I wonder how many people went in knowing what happened to Sharon Tate like I did.

Marriage story

It’s nothing but raw emotion and powerhouse performances in this drama about two people you love going through a divorce. I always make it my goal to watch movies all the way through without any interruptions. Several times throughout, I was tempted to hit "Pause" so I could catch my breath.

Internet lists are everywhere. You know why, don’t you? They suck you in and when you get down to it, most don’t require all that much effort to put together. Except when I make them, apparently. These bi-annual lists always turn out to be difficult to put together. 2019's proved particularly arduous. I’m fairly sure that my #3 movie belongs there. Out of all the movies on this list, it’s probably the one I’m going to go back to most often. The other two? I’d say that technically, one may be better than the other but I think the other one is “more important” so that gives it the edge. What I’m trying to say is, they’re all winners and on a different day, I might even swap them around.

2. Little Women

I have only seen three of the seven silver screen adaptations of Louisa May Alcott’s novel and I don’t expect any of the others to top this one. The secret ingredient to this one's success is Greta Gerwig. Writing and directing, she does so much more than merely translate the classic to movie form. She re-arranges the story to give the events a greater punch than they would if they were shown chronologically and puts a little more emphasis on a couple of key moments (that tear-jerking Christmas, for example) to crank up the emotion. She also makes it more modern without having to change anything about the setting or characters. Admittedly, the back-and-forth between the past and present is a little jarring at first - makes you wonder what Greta Gerwig could’ve done had she been given the de-aging budget Martin Scorsese was given - but that’s where the performances and costumes come in. It takes mere moments before you get what the movie is doing. I’ve said it already but it made me cry.

1. Parasite

To make this list, I didn’t go through all of my past reviews and check which ones were rated what. I thought back to which movies gave me the most vivid memories, which ones gave me the biggest reactions. I’m still not sure how I feel about the final final moment but there’s so much about Parasite that I admire. This would be a great one to watch with others just to see their reactions to the reveal about the bookcase.

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skamamoroma · 4 years

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Meg, always kinda wanted to ask....what’s your opinion on the actress who plays Sana in SkamIt not being Muslim?

This is the only post I’ll make on the issue ❤️

Skam is all about providing hope regardless of the issue or story. It is about giving the viewer an experience, giving them a close insight into a person person so that they can understand their story and provide hope.

Representation matters. A lot. It gives people a sense of belonging, of being seen and valued and appreciated and, above all, gives them a role model. It also teaches people who are not from that “minority” (for want of a better word) a new viewpoint and it can educate. It’s wonderful.

I am not a Muslim. I am not a POC. I have no religion at all. I will never understand what it is to be either. I have friends who are one or both so I have some knowledge of some issues my friends face from a closer perspective but I am absolutely never going to know what it is to experience life as a religious (and obviously religious) person or a person of colour.

My opinion matters here as much as anyone’s who is a non-Muslim non POC, aka only so far. The same way as I identify with the LGBT+ storylines, if someone none LGBT+ were to weigh in and say something about stuff they have no personal experience or knowledge of them that’s not at all helpful but if they have general comments about the storyline or the character or the behaviours then awesome! That’s a viewer 😊 that’s what you’re meant to do. But I am not going to devalue or overpower the opinion of someone who is a Muslim POC because their voice on these things deserves to be heard.

Having a Muslim person play a Muslim role is undoubtedly going to be a wonderful thing. Iman brought so much to her role. She gave understanding and depth and I believe even offered Julie tips and info. That’s special. That’s a community being represented by someone who gets it. She received a LOT of backlash for playing Sana from her own community and the guts that took. I imagine she realised the good a character like Sana could and was doing. Do you need to be a Muslim to play a Muslim role? The same way you don’t need to be gay to play the role of a gay teenager or you don’t have to have a mental illness to play someone with bipolar etc etc etc. There’s no requirement there but sometimes things more nuanced than that. Sometimes the need to further a cause is perhaps a bigger one and I absolutely see the value in a real, young Muslim girl playing that role and I can see how the impact can be felt as I’ve been in this fandom a long time.

Italy as a country needs Skam. Many countries need it but Italy’s political landscape is tricky and I have listened to Italian friends and lovely Italian folks on here who have expressed how needed an Italian s3 (Marti) and s4 (Bea) is. I have had Italian Muslims message me to tell me they’re thrilled Sana’s season is even a thing in their country. They have told me that they see that things are different there than in other countries who have Skam. They have commented that they themselves are a white Muslim and feel like Sana looks like they do in their country as they are hijab wearers too. This too can not be discounted. Political landscapes DO impact media and fiction because perhaps sometimes there is even more nuance at play. Perhaps sometimes there is stuff that people in other countries do not have to think about and perhaps to have a tv season shown and understood and accepted some things have to be a little different. These are things I have been told by Italian Muslims.

I am not a fan of how the issue has been handled. Besse is a tricky dude. He’s not subtle and he’s not someone who easily handles criticism even if it is constructive. He does handle it but he also makes snap reactions and it ain’t helpful. But he also cares a great deal. Julie Andem has said he’s the main producer to contact her and discuss, he has taken months to get to know and to understand Muslim youth in Italy, he cares about the show and characters on an immeasurable level, even going so far as to single handedly try to do the social media for s3 himself because they were having so many issues with Timvision. This is a man who gives a shit. He isn’t always right and sometimes goes about stuff in an less than ideal way but he gives a shit and I have respect for anyone who does.

This whole “no other Muslims came to casting”. I don’t know how true or untrue that is. I am sure there are many young talented Muslim or POC actresses in Italy but how am I to comment if that statement is true or not. I wasn’t there. Perhaps a little more insistence could have been had to find someone else?

Beatrice got the role. She’s a young actress, young lady and this is a huge acting gig. She is also perhaps lacking in education a little. Should she be ridiculed, put on the spot, forced to answer complex questions at the drop of a hat and expected to be a walking Wikipedia of social matters? Should she be ganged up on or singled out and made to feel less worthy? Should she be treated poorly and with contempt? Absolutely fucking not. She’s a human. She’s a young female in a complex industry that doesn’t tend to treat women all that well. She has emotions and feelings and a heart and is a person. Education and kindness and explanations are the way to handle stuff like this not sarcasm and vitriol and chastising. I get that anger is a thing people who are marginalised feel because I have felt it myself, I understand that those in the Muslim community understand a level of marginalisation that nobody who is outside if that community can possibly understand and I would never try to speak for the anger they should and shouldn’t be allowed to feel but I’m talking about a fellow human and a show that advocates hope and kindness and comfort and acceptance. Treating her like shit isn’t ok, it isn’t what Skam is about and it isn’t nice on a very basic human level.

The season is going ahead. Besse has done a lot of research and committed himself to making this season happen. He has spoken about how much he loves and respects the season’s issues and has made it clear how much he fought for it to be a thing in the first place. This isn’t a show runner who doesn’t care but it doesn’t mean he can’t be criticised still.

My view is that this would be a wonderful chance for a young Muslim POC to play a role that represents her. To embody a character that other young POC Muslims (or even not POC because white Muslims do exist) can look up to, to be a role model, to represent her community. That can only ever be a truly special thing and Iman did a magical job as have other actresses playing Sana. I wish that the casting directors and show runner had insisted on this.

But I do not want to discount the immense good that a Sana season could do in modern day Italy. I don’t want to suggest that I understand the decisions behind the scenes. I don’t want to speak for white Muslims living in Italy. I don’t want to speak against Muslim Italians who have commented how much Sana’s season will mean to them in their political landscape.

I love Skam Italia. I think it’s a wonderful show. I cherish so much of it. No show is perfect. No remake of Skam is perfect. No actor or actress is an immediate social justice warrior with all of the complex sensitive knowledge at their finger tips to spout forth in a speech to end social issues. I care about people giving a shit and I care about kindness and this cast do as do many of the other Skam casts. This show is precious and useful and unique and it also is made and shown in countries with their own political, social, historic landscapes that people from outside those countries do not understand and that should always be remembered too.

This is not an easy topic and I think anyone who is POC and or Muslim has a right to express opinion and those opinions should be listened to but the way with all of this is with kindness not hatred. I don’t tolerate poor treatment of people. We live in a modern time where being wrong is apparently nowadays a cause of bloody abuse and that’s insanity. Debate is important as is talking to understand. Sometimes there is a place for anger and righteousness and yes I’d absolutely agree that it can be used in a valuable way and especially minorities have no requirement to educate or spend their time being kind to people who are racist or homophobic or prejudice in any way... but where there is misunderstanding or perhaps debate to be had and where stuff concerns well meaning people who maybe need to understand another viewpoint etc etc etc, I’d advocate for kindness and education over anything.

So these are my feelings on the issue. I will watch Sana’s season and I’ll be absolutely willing to be constructively critical, as always. I will also listen to those who are Muslim and Italian about how they feel about the season. I am also watching significantly for other characters too. I love a lot of the general s4 storyline and loved Sana a great deal. By me watching the season, it does not mean I am not critical of some of the decisions made. I choose, in the circumstances we are in, to give it a chance and to appreciate the good it can still do.

I don’t want to have a mass debate on this topic. There are people better places to have that debate and I’m not one of them. Please be kind and respectful and listen, that would be my advice ❤️

#skam italia #thoughts etc #SORRY I CANT GET THE READ MORE TO WORK #long post #skam italia season 4 #i wont answer any more asks on this as i dont think its helpful

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goblin-gardens · 5 years

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Gob Or Not? An Extremely Scientific Examination Of The Mighty Nein

A couple weeks ago, as an attempt to lure my friend Grim into Critical Role, I made a Goblin Inventory of the M9. this post is an updated survey of the team, slightly reformatted, mostly to be more accurate to my current understanding of the characters (as of Episode 58) and also funnier.

Abstract:

The goals of the initial report were two-fold. First, to examine the differences between being a member of the goblin species and Being Goblin, and second to determine whether Nott The Brave was truly the most Goblin of the group. The first findings showed that Nott scored a 40 out of 77 on the Goblin Scale, not an especially high score and far from the highest in the group. While the conclusions of this survey are not wildly different, the key to Science is repeating your experiments and coming up with not-exactly-identical findings, and doing this roughly a billion times and then you can say that you’re Probably Right (Most Of The Time).

The Goblin Quotient is determined by quantifying, on a scale of 0-11, how fully a person embodies each of the 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Goblins. These are, 1) Collection Of Crap, 2) Chaos, 3) Minionhood, 4) Gooey Center, 5) Laser Pointer Focus, 6) Furious Devotion, and 7) Hideous Cackling.

the full text of this very serious academic paper is under the cut and not behind a paywall.

1) Collection Of Crap

Top scorer, Caleb Widogast As a wizard, Caleb has purposefully immersed himself in Collecting. He is constantly filling his pockets with spell components including, but by no means limited to, sulfur, molasses, honeycomb, bits of copper wire, and literal bat shit. it’s all just. in his pockets. being slimy. Other Caleb Collections include: Books, Paper, Friends, Magic, and Pain. unfortunately, he still has not collected a fantasy therapist to help him KonMari some of it into healthier boxes. Nott’s new form has upped her Collecting habits, but this is a fundamental hobby of Veth’s. This quells some uncertainty about how much of this is truly Her. turns out, lots! (Runners up: Jester, with the animals and haversack of holding, Nott, with the buttons. Special mention: Fjord, with his balls.) Lowest Scorer, Yasha: a 6 of 11 ain’t shabby, but it’s not much compared to the others. This might be due to her having had less screen time, but she does tend to travel light.

Trait The Second) Chaos.

Top scorer, Jester Lavorre: The M9 are a pretty Chaotic group, but Jester is the only one who’s built a religion out of chaos. She’s a high priestess of drawing dicks on things. Her magic powers come from a divine mandate to fuck shit up. Pets (to which she has added Yarnball) up the chaos meter, and their virtually indestructible plot armor means they’re not going anywhere execpt maybe home wth Yeza. In general, Jester’s childhood in the Lavish Chateau was sort of like a pandora’s jack in the box getting wound tighter and tighter and tighter past all physical comprehension, and though the lid has been lifted, the spring is only just starting to sproing. we haven’t even reached the Zenith yet! After seeing some more of Veth and Yeza, it’s clear they’re not the most sedate of couples. Some eyebrows have definitely gotten singed in the Brenatto lab. However, since they aren’t the ones who burned it to the ground, a bit of Safe Science Techniques have to at least be assumed. (Runner up: Molly, with the egg dick incident) Lowest scorer, Beau: She’s not settling down, but she is… settling. Beau does her share of the check-ins, and has made the highest number of Agreements To Not Be Assholes Together. She might be in the running for mom friend??

C) Minionhood.

Top scorer, Fjord “No-Name” Swordvjore. In CR, goblins are not often leaders. They will work together to target weaker and easy opponents, but aren’t typically masterminds. They aren’t prone to individual heroism and rarely, if ever, go out of their way to save a friend. In their villages, little value is placed on familial relationships or education, they’re not big team players, and everyone has a terrible sense of humor. So how does Fjord factor into this? By showing the other side of the coin, like how tactics that don’t rely on using yourself as canon fodder are more successful, or like how the power of friendship and diverse skill sets makes your team stronger. Nott is not much of a follower, though she is an aggressive supporter. Though both these green kids were outcasts when they were younger, finding love with Yeza, stating a family and running a business has given Veth a strong sense of what she wants, and it’s not to be a leader or a follower. (runners up: Caduceus Clay, committed WildMinion and Jester, Travelerite) Lowest scorer, Caleb Widogast. He’s had his brush with Minionhood and the further and safer from it he feels, the more he wants revenge.

Four) Gooey Center Top scorer, Yasha Nydoorin. The Gooey Center is protected by a spiky, brittle, intimidating, crunchy, and/or off putting exterior. Yasha is our big, scary, tenderhearted wlw. our giant soft-hearted, angelic, full-of-boiling-murderous-rage, lightning-punching, funeral-not-having runaway who loves her wife and makes us cry. she shaves her arms with her sword. she uses books in non-traditional ways. she vanishes into the night sometimes in a very mysterious and tragic manner. she is our most Romantic player character, and she is super ripped and super queer, which are all aspirational goblin qualities. in practice, most goblins connect with their gooey center by being squished by someone like Yasha, maybe with a giant hammer. Nott does more to protect others’ feelings than her own, really. Poking at her sore spots makes her stab at yours, but she’s pretty up front about how she feels. When actually fighting, she’s proven to be pretty adept at not being hit. (runners up: Caleb, glass canon with a very crunchy exterior, Fjord, known horc twunk, Caducues, mystery boy, and Molly, who rudely showed us just how how close that center can be to the surface) Lowest scorer: Nott! She’s actually…. Relatively well adjusted? Has emotional intelligence?

5️⃣) Laser Pointer Focus Top scorer: Caduceus Clay. Related to Minionhood, this is the aspect of Goblinry that the leader uses to achieve goals. the dogged focus of a True Goblin is powerful and direct, but can be redirected with the proper pressure or leadership, or lost when a cause or leader is not compelling enough or doesn’t provide adequate payment. the Laser Pointer Focus has an investigatory aspect as well, gathering little bits of info from every which way in moments, though the information gathered is rarely put to use immediately. Caduceus, who sees all but doesn’t always act on it, and is content to support the Nein and follow their meandering path to his goal, checks many of these boxes. Nott knows exactly what she wants in life, which is her old life. She knows how to get it, which is to keep Caleb alive until he can learn a powerful enough spell. The difference between her pursuit of her goal and Caduceus’s lies in the fact that this isn’t a Hero’s Quest for her, with no Tests of Character or Symbolic Goals set or arbitrated by an outside force. (runners up: Fjord, spiritually chasing a laser pointer at all times, Jester, whose laser pointer always points at chaos. Special mention: Frumpkin) Lowest scorer: Beau. Maybe she’s still figuring out what her driving forces are. She knows what they aren’t, but Not Being The Same Type Of Shitty As My Dad isn’t a full thesis. She’s dedicated to protecting her friends, but until we see exactly what it is that she defines herself in opposition to (ie. get that sweet sweet Loregard) her intentions might remain a bit fuzzy around the edges.

VI) Furious Devotion Top scorer: Beauregard Lionett. Also going hand in hand with Minionhood (Minionhood has two hands), this is the trait that makes goblins actually willing to die in battle against adventurers and town guards and shit. It doesn’t require any comfort with or willingness to follow authority, it’s the more feral side of love that is reigned in by Minionhood in true Goblins. this is the part of the Goblin that drives the Collecting of Crap because it genuinely loves all the shit it finds. Beau is a prime example of this trait, especially because as she gets more and more invested in a person or ideal, her willingness to let go, even in the face of likely death, decreases dramatically. see episode 55 for reference, among others. she also has a rather Goblinish inability to effectively communicate the depths of her feelings, though this is sort of an aspect of her defense of her Gooey Center and something she’s actively working on. Now here’s something Nott’s got. So much love. More love than can be contained by one family. Angry love, protective love, throw-all-the-dishes-on-the-floor-in-a-pile love. Draw the dragon’s attention so her friend she’s had for less than a day can get away love. She can and will sacrifice herself for the people she cares about. (runners up: Nott, whomst loves, Yasha, very good at using the Fury to pursue the Devotion, Jester, whose love is so powerful it brings people back from the dead, and Caleb, even less able to discuss his feelings than Beau) Lowest scorer: Fjord. This does NOT mean he doesn’t love his friends, or that he’s not sometimes very angry, but they aren’t connected. He’s still keeping everyone at arm’s length, tbh. Again, this is something that will be easier to judge with more backstory.

and finally 7) Hideous Cackling Top Score: Mollymauk Tealeaf. This is what a Goblin does when surveying their Collection of Crap and the Chaos they have caused. This is how they communicate with fellow Minions in the know, how they react to seeing someone else’s Gooey Center, to catching the Laser Pointer. This is the easiest way to express their feelings of Devotion. The Hideous Cackle of a True Goblin is un-selfconscious and entirely for the benefit of the Cackler. Cackling Hideously is an act of self love. You can find your goblin group by listening to the Discordant Chorus made by Cackling together, and when you’re all reveling in the cacophony, there you are. It’s a little hedonistic and a little punk and a little queer, disregarding conventional expectations of beauty or family or polite behavior, and all about diving deep into the things that you are and the things that make you happy. An extremely Molly philosophy, truth be told. Nott Cackles, sometimes. More since Yeza is back. Unclear whether this arc ending in safe Brenatto Boys will leave her more prone to Cackling, or if she’ll miss them and be too sad :( (runner up: Jester, gleeful agent of chaos) Lowest scorers: Caleb and Fjord. Part of their higher charisma is being careful with their words and presentation. A truly Hideous Cackle doesn’t have time to be self conscious.

And now, the rankings themselves!

Nott The Brave Collection of Crap– So. Many. Buttons. 10/11 Chaos– FLUFFERNUTTERRRRRRRRRR! 8/11 Minionhood– Eh. She’s more of a supporter than a follower. 3/11 Gooey Center– She’s not particularly secretive about her feelings or opinions 4/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Her main goals are all inwardly motivated and have not changed during the campaign. 3/11 Furious Devotion– Her love is extremely powerful. 10/11 Hideous Cackling– Reunited with her husband, she has felt freer to Cackle, she also seems to appreciate her current job a lot 6/11 total score: 44/77

Caleb Collection of Crap– keeps everything in his pockets except for his cat, which is in his heart. 11/11 Chaos– Absolutely creates it, and is starting to revel in it. 6/11 Minionhood– Formerly a Minion, he is now hellbent on the destruction of the System. Good for him. 0/11 Gooey Center– Easily smashed by any large or medium-sized hammer, but maintains staunch denial of inner Gooeyness. 8/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Has goal, will travel. Difficult to redirect. 5/11 Furious Devotion– Slow to accept his own devotion, but very committed once he has. 10/11 Hideous Cackling– Having friends and talking about his feelings is good for him. He’s getting better at this. 3/11 total score: 43/77

Yasha Collection of Crap– A whole book of pressed flowers! 6/11 Chaos– She doesn’t really revel in it :/. 5/11 Minionhood-- Serves a higher power and follows along the decisions of others in the group, even when not super enthused about them, like going to Xhorhas. 8/11 Gooey Center– All the Gooeyer for being well protected, and though her emotional walls are not the most formidable in the party, the amount of protected feeling was unexpected 11/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Loyal to two guides, the Stormlord and the M9, though the Stormlord can pull her easily away from the group. 9/11 Furious Devotion– Very very angry. 10/11 Hideous Cackling– Could stand to be a bit more open about it. 4/11 Total score: 53/77

Fjord Collection of Crap– Collection is limited in scope and volume, but high in Strangeness. 8/11 Chaos– a troublemaker, for sure and certain. 7/11 Minionhood– Literally A Minion right now, summons demonic minions on occasion. 11/11 Gooey Center– Desperately wants somebody, anybody, to tell him he’s doing a Good Job. Adamantly refuses to admit that. 8/11 Laser Pointer Focus– this man cannot resist pushing buttons, be they physical, emotional, or likely to end the word. 10/11 Furious Devotion– He is angry, but it’s not focused. To get more points here, he needs to be less angry at himself. 3/11 Hideous Cackling– too self conscious! loosen up! needs to Cackle in his own voice. 3/11 total score: 50/77

Beau Collection of Crap– Wants to know everything, is building a family. Some points lost for minimalist monk aesthetic. 8/11 Chaos– Aspiring member of Nott the Best Detective Agency, punches people to learn about them. BUT she is apparently a Voice Of Reason, which makes it harder. 4/11 Minionhood– would destroy me for even suggesting it. 1/11 Gooey Center– just! wants! everyone! to! get! along! 7/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Is becoming a moral compass? 2/11 Furious Devotion– JUST! WANTS! EVERYONE! TO! GET! ALONG! 11/11 Hideous Cackling– Tries too hard to be cool. Like yeah, she is cool, but she tries too hard to make sure people know. 5/11 total score: 38/77

Molly Collection of Crap– Behold the coat. 8/11 Chaos– He has that certain je ne se quois. 10/11 Minionhood– The Moonweaver in not a fan of her followers following anyone’s orders. also he has his own minions and doesn’t want them 3/11 Gooey Center-- Loves openly and without reservation. and also…………………… 8/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Molly’s focus is loving his friends and knowing fuck all. 5/11 Furious Devotion– Found a tall sad lady and made his circus adopt her. gives money to orphans. 7/11 Hideous Cackling– Genuinely personified this action for two years. 11/11 total score: 52/77

Jester Collection of Crap– In addition to being the Holder Of The Bag, she also collects doughnuts and cool shit. While most of her random shit has potential uses, it’s also a whole lot of random shit. Some of its weasels. 10/11 Chaos– Spreading discord is a religious mandate for her. Her powers come from chaos. 11/11 Minionhood– A champion of the Yes And, she is more likely to voice her opinion of an existing plan than come up with her own. She is definitely a better minion than the Traveler’s other ONE. 10/11 Gooey Center– Physically well-defended, she has the luxury of wearing her heart on her sleeve. 6/11 Laser Pointer Focus– It might seem like she’s easily distracted, but that’s actually because her surface level attention is secondary. her primary goal is actually Fucking Shit Up, and she’s good at it. 7/11 Furious Devotion– Gets attached and does. not. let. go. 10/11 Hideous Cackling– The end goal of practically everything Jester does is Cackling With The Traveler, and she often succeeds. 10/11 total score: 64/77

Caduceus: Collection of Crap– Dude has a swarm of bugs living in his staff, and his backpack is full of tea. 8/11 Chaos– NOT a fan of stuff that disrupts the proper order of nature, but he is developing a wonderful and unique sense of humor. 5/11 Minionhood– Of all the M9, Caduceus has the strongest adherence to an ironclad and pre-written set of ethics and willingness to follow the path a greater power has laid out for him. 10/11 Gooey Center– Encourages everyone else to talk about their feelings, yet doesn’t talk about his own in the same way. Mysterious. 7/11 Laser Pointer Focus– Has a well-defined goal, but not a well defined path. 11/11 Furious Devotion-- You can’t be On A Quest To Save Your Home (And The World?) if you’re not devoted to your home. However we haven’t seen the fury? Structured devotion is different and not exactly Goblin. 5/11 Hideous Cackling– Cackling is a bit more intense than what he does, but he’s on the right track. 5/11 total score: 51/77

final ranking (out of 77)

38, Beau 👊

43, Caleb 🐱

44, Nott 🏹

50, Fjord 🗡️

51, Caduceus 🐞

52, Molly 🎴

53, Yasha ⚡

64, Jester 🦄

All in all, a pretty Goblin Group, and Nott, the only one who is physically a goblin, is not even in the middle of the pack. Clearly, true Goblin Spirit is something else all together.

It seem that perhaps the True Goblin Was The Friends We Made Along The Way. also Jester.

#critical role #cr2 #the mighty nein #nott the brave #veth brenotto #caleb widogast #beauregard lionett #fjord #caduceus clay #mollymauk tealeaf #yasha #jester lavorre #critrole #is this a Whole Lot? yes #was it fun? also yes #is it better than the original version? yes

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sprut6 · 5 years

Text

The Society Thoughts and Theories

Lots of spoilers if you haven’t finished season 1! This show is bananas and I absolutely love theorizing things like this where we don’t know what’s going on. I have some ideas below and some way more out there than others. Would love to hear what others think!

Where are they:

1. Parallel Universe – I feel like the show was pushing this hard with the strange solar eclipse, bringing it up multiple times (more than other theories). For that reason, I don’t think that will be what it is. However, I loved the twist about the eclipse. I really feel like they pushed PU hard in S1 even though people also threw around other ideas I still felt like this one was pushed the most. I think in S2 they’ll push a different theory to take us in a different direction and I think we’re seeing that with how S1 ended.

2. Kidnapped – I think this is a strong theory and where the show really wants us to go in assuming they’ve been taken and are being held hostage for ransom. I’ve seen some theories about the season finale saying that we don’t know what the dog represents and I agree but I definitely think that’s what the writers want us to assume – the dog is the same dog so it’s earth and the dog was able to get from New Ham to West Ham somehow. I think this will be the main theory for S2 that everyone will work around.

3. Afterlife – A reasonable theory now that we know that West Ham still exists and there is a memorial to the kids. But it’s too similar to (SPOILER – even though the show has been over for almost a decade) Lost. I think it would be disappointing if they copied it and I just think that everyone is alive.

4. Dream – I actually really like this theory. I could even see it being something like they wake back up on the bus and they (and the viewer) don’t know if it was a dream or what really happened although as a viewer that would be frustrating if we don’t have closure.

5. Simulation – They were kidnapped and they’re in a coma/simulation where this is all playing out while they’re being held for ransom. I actually was just like eh/maybe about this theory but as I was thinking it through more I think I’m getting more behind this one. (More thoughts on this below). At the moment this is my front runner.

6. Experiment – I actually don’t like this one but still wanted to include it. Again (spoiler) it’s copying The Village kind of and I just don’t know how likely I think it would be especially if the parents are supposed to be involved. Just bizarre all around if this was it.

Theories:

1. Now that we know their parents aren’t dead, I’m thinking we’re going to see the parents a lot in S2. I think it’ll flip back and forth between perspectives between New Ham and West Ham. Maybe even some flashbacks leading up to field trip day.

2. We’ll get a new mayor. I don’t see Harry/Lexie staying mayor throughout. I think Allie will be re-elected at some point in S2 or we’ll see a breakdown of the system and she or someone else will take back over.

3. We’ll learn who Eden’s biological father is. I strongly felt like it was Luke (because of problems it would create) until the Thanksgiving episode. When Luke and Helena announced they were getting married it showed Becca as really happy and I’m not sure that would have been authentic if it was Luke. I think the creators would have either showed a slower response or not shown her at all. I think Campbell is a stronger possibility because of Becca asking Sam to never ask her that again. I think she regrets whomever she slept with. If it’s Campbell I think it would be pretty devastating to her relationship with Sam. Even though they’ve never been in a romantic relationship she has seen how Campbell has treated Sam over the years and I think Sam will be hurt that his best friend slept with his abuser/bully. I think it would really change their dynamic and could possibly push Sam away from Becca.

4. Luke and Helena’s wedding doesn’t happen or gets postponed. I think their relationship will breakdown. It could be if Luke is the father but I don’t think they’re going to go that route because of how S1 ends and Luke having to side with Campbell. I think Helena will learn what really happened and she’ll have strong feelings about Luke lying to her.

5. I think we’ll see more side characters added. The cast is large already but we’ll need to continue to see alliances made between sides and new problems added so I think they’ll introduce more people who have been in the background just like we saw Lexie take a more prominent role right at the end.

6. We’ll learn more about Pfieffer. I’m not convinced that’s a person. I’m wondering if that’s a code word, company name, etc.

7. Kelly and Harry’s parents aren’t having an affair. I think the meeting at the hotel will actually be a meeting between council members surrounding the smell/blackmail/mystery, etc. I think the group will start expanding on the council knowing more leading up to the field trip and they’ll start looking at other council member’s offices, homes and find more were at the hotel meeting.

8. The parents are working on a plan but the show might not let us know that. If the show wants us to think it’s possible the group is dead then I don’t think they’ll show us much of the parents but I’m thinking we might see S2 pick up with the parents. We have only a few parents in the library as opposed to a large group like an official memorial. I think its council members meeting. I think they know the kids are alive and they’re being extorted for money or something that is very difficult for them to get.

9. Harry knows something. He called this all a game and he’s inferred several times that everything would be okay. I think he knows something more specific or his parents said something to him to make him think that something could possibly happen but that everything would be okay. He also was one of the few that wasn’t worried at all in those early days.

10. I really debated mentioning this theory because I worried some people might think I was victim blaming or glamorizing Campbell but bear with me. I think it’s possible Elle has a mental disorder and she is actually harming herself and not Campbell. We know Campbell is a diagnosed psychopath but the show hasn’t shown us the physical abuse they’ve led us to believe is happening. It didn’t show him branding her or hitting her. Elle also hasn’t specifically stated that Campbell is hurting her, she lets people infer it. I think there’s a reason for both and I think it’s because he didn’t do it and it was actually Elle who branded herself with the C. Also, remember the dog. If the dog is the same then Campbell didn’t kill it as we were originally led to assume. If Elle has a diagnosed mental illness then most likely she hasn’t been on medication for months. I think we’ll find out more about what her home life like in S2 because as it stands she is the most central character that we know the least about in regards to backstory. It also would add another layer of complexity to the show. The group might have to decide, do they hold someone against their will if they consider them to be a danger to themselves or others (she tried to kill Campbell). In S1 we saw how they had to handle illnesses like a snake bite, poisoning, pregnancy but they didn’t deal with mental illness outside of Harry’s depression. I could see them tackling something like schizophrenia and the stigma around mental illnesses.

11. Maybe no one is dead. If it is a simulation maybe the deaths are the parents getting kids out/rescued. This is hard because of Allie and Cassandra and the idea that a parent would have to choose a child to rescue and leave another behind (at least for now) except Cassandra had a serious heart condition. Maybe the parents would pay her ransom first because of her illness and have to wait longer for Allie. I just think in a lot of shows there are reasons why characters have illnesses, etc and it’s because the show is going to use them later but Cassandra’s was never really used because she died so quickly and in a way that had nothing to do with her heart so why even have the character with that issue? But if there had to be a reason why one child would be chosen and another left then illness could be a factor. Also, maybe two parents paid at the same time – Cassandra’s and Dewey’s and that’s why their deaths are somewhat tied together. I’ll admit, this is pretty out there. I totally get that but I like the idea that no one is dead.

Questions I want the kids to start asking themselves:

1. Where did the bus drivers go? They dropped them off and then the buses left. If they’re not in town then that should mean there’s a way out.

2. Why is the power still on and water running? We’ve seen multiple shots showing electricity and water but both should be off at this point without anyone running those systems. Power and water plants won’t run for months on their own.

Random thoughts:

Love the nods to different forms of governing. Really interesting and smart insights!

I see some parallels to Animal Farm. Especially with how power corrupts.

Kind of pondering if the literature/movie references are important. 500 Days of Summer has a nod because of the creator but we’re seeing some of the books and movies in certain shots and just curious if there are more to them than face value. For example, The Princess Bride is a story within a story...which brings me back around to the simulation theory.

I told you, the series is bananas.

#the society #the society season 1 #the society season 2 #the society spoilers #the society theories

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twinge-of-cosmicangst · 5 years

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I know a lot of people are saying that, that was not the real Jaime and the real Jaime is book Jaime and we will probably get the books one day and Jaime and Brienne will get a decent end there. And yes if Jaime died in GoT he wil likely die in asoiaf too but obviously grrm won’t fuck it up like d and d and Jaime will either kill Cersei and then join the fight with the others and die there or he will kill Cersei and die with her but she obviously won’t be pregnant and if she is it will not be his child and it will happen in way that isn’t so insulting to both Jaime’s character delevelopment and Brienne. Or you know it possible someone else will kill Cersei in the books who knows. Or we may just get winds of winter and a dream of spring won’t get released and I don’t think Jaime will die or kill Cersei in that book but I do think Jaime and Brienne will become canon, as the show reluctantly making it canon only proves more so that George made it clear in the early days that one of the things that was gonna happen was that Jaime and Brienne were gonna catch feels and bang at some point and I don’t think George will drag it out as long so it’ll most likely happen in winds?? God I hope.

But the thing is even though book Jaime and show Jaime have always been different and book Jaime would never do that I would still argue that show Jaime would never do that either and it was out of character even for him. Show Jaime wasn’t perfect but he did show signs of having his character arc developing, I mean in the show it was kind of a basic Jaime with Cersei = bad, and Jaime with Brienne = good, whereas in the books it’s much more complicated because Jaime is a actual independent person with his own independent thoughts and agency but alas I’m going off topic. Show Jaime’s actions in 804 and 805 contradict his character on the show massively in general but the contradictions in this season alone are there, in fact they are more prominent then ever before his actions in 802 make absolutely NO sense when looking at the whole season and yes 802 was written by Cogman but d and d are the show runners so they shouldn’t of let cogman write all that stuff (i mean thank the gods they they did) if it was going to massively contradict what they were planning for his character. I mean come on Jaime saying I’m not that man anymore, him being so uninterested in Cersei that he walks away from Tyrion when he’s talking about her just to stare at Brienne and him talking to Tyrion about how he was a man that was sleeping with his sister and that his golden lion days were over and them both talking about the perils of self betterment. He sounded like a man who was genuinely getting over his toxic relationship and moving on with the support of his brother and Brienne. I genuinely think that Jaime in 802 would be just as shocked and appalled by his actions in 804 and 805 as book Jaime would be, it 👏 made 👏 no 👏 sense 👏

Book Jaime and Brienne’s love story though incomplete is a better love story then show Jaime and Brienne’s no questions about it. I mean with the way it ended on the show twilight is a better damn love story then Jaime and Brienne’s but you know what show Jaime and Brienne’s love story still could’ve been really good certainly the best in the show even if it paled in comparison to the books, if d and d hadn’t decided to ruin it in the last 2 episodes for the sake of shock value and sUbVeRtInG eXpEcTaTiOnS. Asoiaf and got at this point clearly need to viewed as different story’s and even though asoiaf is far superior GoT was what introduced many fans to this beloved world. I and many other shippers fell in love with the show characters first. And the show relationship was and is important goddammit, there are many people who haven’t read the books who ship JB and can’t believe that Jaime would do that to Brienne even people who don’t ship JB are disappointed in how Jaime has been treated in the last couple of episodes.

Let’s talk about show Brienne, d and d maybe went for the obvious with her and missed out on the complexity of her character but I still love show Brienne so so much, she is good and honourable and loyal and derserved SO much better. One of the only emotional scenes that they gave her character (that didn’t include and revolve around Jaime) was when she talked to Pod about the the ball her father held for her and how all the boys pretended to dance with her only to laugh at her “Brienne the beauty they called me a great big joke, and I knew I was the ugliest girl alive” and then we find out why she had fancied Renly, he danced with her and told her “don’t let them see you cry, they’re nasty little shits and nasty little shits don’t derserve your tears” like that scene was heart breaking at the time but then taken in context with what happened in 804 it becomes so much worse. Something I find really odd and frankly quite insulting is that the only sweet scene between Jaime and Brienne the in 804 was the drinking game (I actually did like the sex scene at the time but now with context I don’t see it as written as romantic at all just purely sexual and it only comes off as romantic because the actors know their characters so played it that way) The drinking game scene was genuinely sweet Jaime just seemed to want to make Brienne smile and be happy but in that scene they made a direct call back to the scene with brienne and Pod talking about Renly “you danced with Renly Baratheon” and then Brienne looks at Pod confirming that Pod told Jaime that. To make a direct call out to a scene like that was surprising for me at the time considering that the writers don’t really care about Brienne that much and it was a scene that most non Brienne fans would’ve forgotten (i mean it was 4 seasons ago). But considering the episode they decide to call back to this scene is the one where Brienne looses her virginity to the man she has been in love with for YEARS only for him to leave her and the future they could’ve had together after a couple of weeks to go and die with his sister who tried to have him killed twice. The episode where she is left outside in the cold crying over a man is the same episode where they reference the scene where she told Pod she cried over men and where she was a “great big joke”.

Brienne’s character arc has two themes one is to be respected as a knight and the other is to be respected as a woman/lady. Her arc as woman starts off with her not being accepted as a woman because she does not fit into the conventional feminine roles and she is not conventionally attractive (Gwendoline is stunning) but Brienne is still canonically “ugly” in the show and obviously extremely tall for a woman and guess how they end her arc as a woman, you guessed it she is not accepted as a woman because she does not fit into the traditionally feminine roles and is not conventionally attractive, being the sloppy seconds and bit on the side of her conventionally attractive love interest who goes back to his conventionally attactive sister so the bootiful golden fools who entered this world together can leave this world together blah blah blah cheesy bullshit. And don’t try to tell me that Tormund’s boarderline sexual objectification means that Brienne was accepted as a woman when that was only ever played for laughs. And not to sound classist but Tormund was a wildling (and there’s nothing wrong with that) but brienne being accepted as a woman was also about being accepted by her own class in the south and being accepted as a Lady “I’m no Lady” “yes lady Brienne” “I’m not a- thank you Podrick”. And yes it is ok to reject the status as lady as Arya does in 804 but the thing is Arya and Brienne are completely different people and unlike Arya I truly believe Brienne wanted to be a accepted as a Lady but wasn’t because of her physicality’s. Jaime was suppose to view her as a Lady and a Knight where in the end he clearly viewed her as neither. Jaime and Brienne both being highborn “a pair of tall blonde toffs” they are always very formal when together (obviously only after harenhall) there love story was supposed to be a courtly one (unconventionally so) but courtley none of the less instead Jaime fucks her and chucks her. Jaime clearly doesn’t respect her as a knight either as he leaves her behind while he goes off to “fight” if you can call dying mopingly with your sister a fight. What about being a Knight? just cos Jaime failed to see her as one doesn’t mean she isn’t one, she is honourable, brave, selfless, just, kind, the perfect Knight, she was always a Knight even before he Knighted her in front of all the those other characters giving her the validation. At the time I thought it was romantic that the man she loved knighted her but after the way he treated her it just seemed misogynistic that this man was so involved in this woman’s acceptance as a knight. He also was the one who supplied her with, her armour, her sword, her horse and even her squire and now best friend Podrick, Brienne’s storyline is even more entertwined with Jaime’s then hers is with his her whole knightly quest of saving and protecting the stark girls is obviously intertwined with him and Brienne did not get any scenes this season that didn’t involve Jaime somehow, whereas Jaime did even before he left her and as soon as Jaime does leave Brienne we don’t see her for a whole episode. Jaime is a bigger character then she is and if you are not a Lannister, Stark or Targ in this show you can expect some disregard for your character so maybe it wouldn’t of been so bad if Brienne was just a supporting role in Jaime’s story if it had turned out that she was the most important person in his life and if he had chosen her but he didn’t. Brienne of course is still a knight and still behaves like a true knight but now her Knighthood, her oath to the stark girls, Podrick, oathkeeper her whole life in fact, is tainted with Jaime and how he broke her heart, will she ever proudly proclaim her Knighthood and smile like that again, I’m not so sure.

Think how disrespectful this ending is not just to Brienne but also to Gwendoline Christie, although Christie and Brienne couldn’t be more different, she truly loved the character and what she stood for, it is the first tv acting part she had and in the past and recently she has talked about how the part has made her think about and question what it means to be a woman and she even said how it has made her confront her tallness and androgyny. I think she must of been pretty gutted about how Brienne was reduced to nothing but a love interest to a man who apparently didn’t even love her. While the writers couldn’t help but joke about how funny it was that Jaime was having sex with such an unconventional woman “say something snide” “im happy that you’re going to finally have to climb for it” “what she like down there” this scene is another one I didn’t mind at the time because Tyrion is often jokingly perverted and it is realistic that brothers would have these kind of talks, women have them too (not that d and d would ever show a scene like that because clearly it only matters what the men think about it) but considering they took all the romance out of Jaime and Brienne and just made it purely sexual this scene confirms that whenever Brienne isn’t being written as the cold unfeeling female warrior she is being sexually fetishised, see Tormund who never even called her by name “the big woman” this writing is insulting to both Brienne and Gwendoline Christie.

Before I wrap this all up, other then fucking Jaime’s character up in the most obvious way they also made him into something that no one thought Jaime was, and I mean no one I’m including Jaime x Cersei shippers in this, they made him a coward, hear me out. If Cersei was the great love of his life why didn’t he go back to her as soon as the dead and the night king had been defeated. He had clearly presumed that Cersei had no chance against two dragons and was content to leave her and their unborn child to ther fates while he fucked Brienne for?? Something to do?? D and D never really made that clear. Only when he heard from Sansa that Cersei was winning did he jump ship, because he thought he could have a life with her?? And don’t even get me started on how discusting it was to get the man who sacrificed his honour to save King’s Landing when he killed the mad king to say he didn’t care about the people of kings landing innocent or otherwise 🤮🤮🤮

To conclude the books may be great but they are still incomplete and tv will always be a more popular and more consumed by the mass audience and the lessons that can be taken from the tv show from Jaime’s side is that if you are in a toxic relationship you can’t ever break free from it nor can you ever become a better person if you have made mistakes in the past and no one can ever change for the better and from Brienne side the lesson is if you are not conventionally attractive woman you are not deserving of love and respect and the best you can expect is sexual objectification. The books and book characters deserved better yes but you know what so did the tv show and the tv characters and so did Nikolaj Coster Waldau, Gwendoline Christie and all the other actors and crew members who worked hard on this trash show and so do the fans of both the books and the tv series who have spent years invested in these characters just to have d and d shit all over them. And yes so many other characters were screwed over both throughout the entire series an in 805, I just don’t have the time to write about it all and I chose to focus on Jaime and Brienne because they are my favourite characters. But what they have done to Dany for example is terrible and misogynistic and I have never even been a Dany fan. The Dany is mad plot line is something that will most likely happen in books except that it will make much more sense and be less sexist. Dumb and dumber even got their favourite character wrong in the end by having Cersei go out sobbing and not in a screaming fit of vengeful rage which would of been way more in character for her and yes she deserved better too.

#i needed to get that off by chest #jaime x brienne #suck my dick d and d #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #game of thrones #got #got8 #got spoilers #asoiaf #anti show #got negativity #a song of ice and fire #george rr martin #david benioff #db weiss #character assassination #nikolaj coster waldau #gwendoline christie

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kendrixtermina · 4 years

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Since you seem to enjoy analyzing stories I was wondering if you have any advice on what to do when your mind narrows in on critical aspects? I usually really enjoy analyzing media but recently I found that my mind tends to hyper-focus on aspects that I don't like even when I'm actively trying to ignore it and focus on what I do like. So I was just curious if you have tips for dealing with it and/or getting out of this mindset. Thanks and I apologize if this isn't the right blog for this!

Ugh. This is a big question and I’m not sure I’m qualified or immune to complaining. But I consider myself honored, I’ll try my best to answer it.

There’s three things you can do here

a) Try to find out where it’s coming from.

Cross-examine yourself active listening wise. Your reactions can generally come from two places: What you’re actually looking at, or yourself.

Is everything annoying you as of late because you are angry? Are you having a bad week because of something in your private life? Are you sensitive because some larger tendency in RL/society is pissing you off? Is it even anger? What are you feeling and why? Does it really have anything to do with this movie etc?

Or is it something about the work itself? Does it remind you of something that happened to you? Does your displeasure come from a value that is important to you or a pattern that you believe to be a bad influence on society.

Really try to put into words what it is that makes you feel this way while keeping in mind that your feelings, your reaction to the work and the work itself are separate entities.

I’d remain open to the possibility that you have a legitimate gripe here. If you personally can’t enjoy a work either because a subjective factor or an objective flaw that’s a dealbreaker for you, you shouldn’t force yourself to like it because your friends do or because it didn’t do anything “unforgiveable”. Deciding that it’s not your cup of tea needn’t be a moral judgement on everyone who made the work or everyone who likes it.

On the other hand you might find it easier to enjoy it if you acknowledge the flaw and put it into definite words, tell your inner critic that you heard them and then continue. If you try not to think about something you automatically end up thinking about it.

b) Keep in mind that there are many valid stories and that all of them are worth telling

A lot happens on this green earth. Consider the following cases:

A1: A small, lithe person is mistreated by a big strong one

A2: A small, lithe person mistreats a big strong one and pretends to be the victim appealing to their small ness

B1: An eccentric kid is labeled as disordered just for being eccentric and because the teachers don’t want to deal with her

B2: A serious-minded kid has an actual anxiety disorder and experiences stigma because of it and people not understanding that it’s real and debilitating

C1: There is a socially awkward, nerdy character. She is eventually revealed as autistic and her friends accept her just as she is.

C2: There is a socially awkward, nerdy character. She comes out as aroace and all her friends support her. It is emphasized that she is actually as affectionate as everyone else and preconceptions to the contrary were just bigoted misunderstandings.

C3: There is a socially awkward, nerdy character. She finds a significant other who loves her even though she is socially awkward, and her love leads her to discover more communicative passionate sides to her personality.

Clearly, for each of these scenarios, there are going to be people who relate to some but not to others. If you’ve got an anxiety disorder you’re going to relate to the story with the anxiety disorder, and if you were mis-labeled by incompetent teachers you’re gonna relate to that. But both actually happen in real life. B1 is me B2 is one of my sisters. You might even say they’re caused by some of the same intolerant attitudes.

So ask yourself: Is any of these intended as a “fuck you” to the people who would rather have the other ones? If in one particular story the character was mistakenly labeled by incompetent teachers and never had a real disorder, it it saying that no one has real disorders? If the small and lithe character turns out to be the victim, does it mean that big and strong characters are never victims? No of course not.

- You can criticize it if the story outright makes such statements and it is vital to do so (see next paragraph), but if the point in the story is just that this particular character was wrongly labeled, or this particular small character was the victim, then it’s simply telling a different story, not at all making a point about whether real disorders or big strong victims exist.

What’s cathartic or empowering or meaningful to people is as different as people themselves. There’s a good chance that there won’t be an exact match between you or any given authors.

Often the problem is not the stories that are there, but the ones that are missing. It’s not per se bad to have “girl gets rescued by prince” stories, it’s only bad if they’re the ONLY stories. The solution is more stories.

Obviously there are exceptions to that like stuff that outright includes negative stereotypes or unquestioned bad behavior treated as good,

c) Focus on constructivity and context instead of loaded labels

The above was more about perceived flaws this one is about real indisputable flaws. Flaws that are important to point out.

The number one goal here, if you really care about stopping harm and not anyones egos, should be to get people to stop doing it.

Sometimes in extreme cases making someone out to be a bad person and warning of them is exactly how you stop harm, but often time its not and getting obsessed with “punishing bad people” while losing sight of “preventing harm” does zero to help the people actually being harmed. Or worse than zero, if you associate a worthy cause with frivolous squabbles.

Some people just don’t care and will never change their ways but you won’t ever convince those. You need to convince everyone else. All the ones who are maybe just ignorant and didn’t know better, or never had to form an opinion about this. Even if the maker themselves won’t change opinion, you can sway those.

Imagine a bigoted religious person. how are you more likely to convince them? Get them to stop being religious, which is probably a part of their identity? Or try and argue that equality is, in fact, compatible with their religion? If you step on people’s egoes they will be attacked and block/dismiss all you have to say. Not only will they not change, they’ll dig in their heels. In the worst case, they’ll now start thinking that your Reasonable Position is incompatible with their identity.

Again some people are determined to have their egoes stepped on and will be insulted no matter what, but those are not the target.

This isn’t about appeasing assholes, it’s about creating change, because that will stop harm. So instead of throwing negatively changed emotional labels at people (which activates the ego and the emotions) try talking about cause and effect and consequences, to talk to their reason. Explain how the consequences happen.

For similar reasons, try to think of solutions. You don’t want to destroy the work, you want to make it a better work that more people can enjoy without being distracted by unnecessary flaws.

Avoid:

“X is a [negative label] who [buzzword] a [sympathy-drawing label]!!! Why are [entire social group that contains people you want to convince] like this?!”

Instead:

“I know that this was probably supposed to express [intention], but it comes off like [unfortunate implication] and given [harmful social tendency] it might have been better to do [alternate redendition] “

Example #1: “The intention in scenes like in the original Blade Runner, several James Bond Movies or in the Original Star Wards trilogy where the original male characters was probably that these protagonists being suave guys know that the girls really want them to screw/kiss them. The authors know this because they created the characters, but IRL you cannot actually read anyone’s mind and what often happens IRL is that person A proceeds without really making sure that the other person is comfortable, and then they freeze up in fear though they don’t want to have intercourse, and ends up horribly traumatized. There’s not enough general knowledge about the “freeze” part of “fight-flight or freeze”, or good consent education and it would be irresponsible to make this worse.

All it would literally take to fix it is to have the girls explicitly show that they want to kiss/have sex.”

Example #2: “A lot of horror fiction slaps the names of real diagnosable conditions on what are basically violent monster villains. It’s only natural to wonder what’s going on in the minds of killers and monsters and try to want to contextualize this, but it is vital to keep in mind that there is currently a lot of stigma against people with mental ilnesses, and that depictions like this can make it worse and make it hard for actual real-life people to get jobs and housing.

If you’re going to use the names of real-life diagnosable conditions you should be committed to researching them and writing the characters realistically while being mindful of the stigma and the social impact that wrong renditions would have and not make a freakshow out of it.

Alternatively, if you just want to do an unrealistic horror movie killer, don’t use the names of real conditions that real people have.”

d) Refresh Button.

Especially because you’re saying that this isn’t your default mode and that it feels like some recent thing that you don’t really want.

- take a break, busy your mind with something else, give the subconscious time toprocess and old perceptions time to settle. Then come back to it.

- Try sort of looking at it from a new perspective, to deconstruct it from the bottom. What dothing really mean? What are we really told about the characters and events? Try processing it all new from the ground up without “common widom”

- Things that aren’t explained on screen aren’t necessarily plot holes. There’s a difference between a contradiction, something that can’t fit together, and something that can fit together you just don’t know how. Deduce. Speculate. This is where your logic and imagination come in.

- Maybe watch a new person react to it for all new input like a reaction vid on youtube

e) Outside Data.

Same as above - People are basically really sophisticated Boltzmann machines/ statistical learning algorithms. I#m the least to want to admit that but to a degree we’re all influenced by the Data we take in.

If you’re surrounded by a lot of material and soucres that pick apart every little thing in media, it’s natural that it would arise as a thought.

If you don’t really want that in your life, filter it out.

I hope this was of some sort of use. But I stress again that I’m no kind of authority on any such things and that many others might pick this apart as blasphemy.

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