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seventeenlovesthree · 8 months

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SPOILER HEAVY REVIEW/FIRST IMPRESSIONS/META FOR DIGIMON ADVENTURE 02 THE BEGINNING MOVIE

So I had the privilege to watch the movie on release day and I have thoughts. Very unfiltered and out of order and knowing myself, my opinion will definitely change upon discussing, contextualizing and rewatching it, but... I need to get that first impression out of my system, maybe already link it with a few things we've previously known. So the following text will go through my experience in the cinema, the course of the entire movie and my personal opinions, so...

READ THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK, BECAUSE THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. LOTS OF THEM. ALL OF THEM.

(A/N: There will also be trigger warnings about child abuse and violence/gore/blood, so again, please be warned and read cautiously if you choose to do so.)

Alright, first of all, this was one of the special screening events all over Germany and, obviously, the majority of people who watched alongside my friend and me were nerds around my age. Those who used to watch the German dub back in the day - which was just a wonderful experience in general. The cinema wasn't completely sold out, but there were still lots of people! And I was there in my pseudo-Hikari costume nobody recognized, heh.

Before the screening, the event - hosted by KSM, who are responsible for the German dub - held a little trivia quiz! Which was pretty neat, they had questions like "What does Digimon stand for?", "What year did the plot of Digimon Adventure take place, when was 02?", "How many Tri movies are there?", "How many Digimon seasons exist in sum?", "What is te production company of Digimon called?", "What does the title of the first Tri movie - Saikai - mean in German?", "What is the first theme song called in Japanese?"

(The season number was a trick question since they said, including Tri as separate season may or may not count, but I had issues with this one too. And I had actually forgotten what "Saikai" meant...)

They handed out Blu-Ray copies of Kizuna for the right answers - and I actually won one by answering when the German dub of Adventure aired in Germany for the first time correctly. Good old 2000... I'll never forget that.

Then the movie started - I still don't really know how to go about this, so again, excuse the looseness of my rambling;

First of all, the German subs were okay, but once again a little loose and too quick/not accurate here and there. For example, when Tailmon audibly said "Hikari", the subs said "You are right". Not to mention that you HEARD them use the Japanese names, but the subs used their English dub names.

In the scene that was already shown to audiences last year, Takeru was talking about Koushirou not getting enough sleep and Hikari added that when she called Taichi, he scolded her since he was busy. The German subs outright skipped Hikari saying "Onii-chan", and made her just say "he". So... It sounded like she, too, was referring to Koushirou. Very weird...

Okay, to the stuff we haven't known yet!

If you asked me what this movie was about, I'd probably say: It's a story of child abuse and the consequences of miscommunication (and wishes). In several directions. And oh boy, the meta analysis to be written about this will take a while to conduct, because while the stuff appears to be "pretty on the nose" on surface level, it definitely CAN go deeper. The third theme of the movie is "the power of friendship" - and water is wet, obviously!

So we know about the giant Digiegg in the sky that has been floating there for a week. There is the message "Everyone should have friends and a Digimon partner" displayed on all kinds of screens. We see that Taichi and Koushirou are doing PR work while the 02 kids are hanging out in Daisuke's (employers') ramen restaurant until they see Rui on TV climbing Tokyo Tower, holding a Digivice. So they rush to save him as he falls - just to be greeted with annoyance and ignorance.

He tells them that he killed his own partner, that partnerships between humans and Digimon are a curse and should not exist. Miyako can't accept that and tells Hawkmon to stop him before he can leave.

So Rui goes: "Ah, how obedient. You are doing what you're told without questioning it and you probably like it that way."

We can tell - there is baggage there. Lots of baggage.

They later learn that the Digiegg may be Rui's partner after all - and since he claims that he climbed up there to talk to it, Daisuke is obviously super fired up ("You have balls, I like that", the cinema laughed out loud) and wants to help.

So of course he drags his boyfriend Jogress partner with him and they fly up there with Paildramon - just to get attacked by the egg and fall into a portal to travel back in time. What follows is them seeing Rui's backstory. And once they're back, he elaborates on it further.

At some point, my friend nudged me and asked me the following: "Do you also feel like you're watching Madoka Magica?"

Yes. Yes I did. 300%. I already assumed it'd be the case, since I initially thought Rui would be a time-jumping Homura and Ukkomon just another version of Kyubey. They even share lots of visual cues respectively, so it was not unlikely to happen, right?

... I was only half wrong there. Rui is not (intentionally) able to jump through time at this point. And it's actually not the kind of multiverse story I initially expected. (Even though there WILL be a change in the timeline, but we will get to that later.)

Ukkomon - is definitely Kyubey though. It appears in front of Rui on his 4th birthday. Which is on February 29 1996, meaning he is a leap year child. The Hikarigaoka incident took place a year prior - but he wasn't part of it.

TW Child Abuse

Rui lives in Hikarigaoka too. He's coming from an abusive household - his father is in a coma, and his mother may or may not have developed a bipolar disorder due to the stress, because she can be sweet one moment, and snaps completely the next, screams at him. Rui has marks of physical abuse all over his body and appears rather ruffled and malnourished... So when he accidentally wets himself on his birthday, his mother throws him out into the snowy cold of the night, half-dressed, to punish him. It's jarring to watch.

He wishes so badly for things to change. To have friends. To be protected from harm.

That's when a Digiegg appears in front of him - and Ukkomon hatches, asking about his wish and a digivice appears. He is, in this case, the first child to be partnered with a Digimon.

A Digimon that is capable of fulfilling wishes. Because it is connected with a godlike entity... Where have we heard THAT before...?

So what happens? Rui wished for friends. Rui wished for protection.

Suddenly, his mom starts being nice to him again. His dad wakes up from the coma. He has his Digimon by his side, who protects him from bullies and every type of harm. All Ukkomon says it wants is for Rui to be happy. To make him smile. To make sure to make him lots of friends who are just like him. That's all that matters to it, obediently following the initial idea, literally without questioning.

If you watched Madoka Magica (and also lots of other media that involve wish fulfillment, including Miraculous Ladybug), you know that there is always a price to be paid for wishes. And that you need to be VERY careful with how you word your wishes.

It all falls apart in 2003. What happens in 2003? Diablomon strikes back. Literally. The events are shown on television, we see Omegamon fighting Armageddomon - and Ukkomon explains to Rui how happy he can be that all these kids out there are fighting and willing to die for him specifically... Because... They became Chosen Children because of Rui's wish. Ukkomon enabled their partnerships to make "lots of friends who are just like you, having their own Digimon" - and Rui is horrified by the idea. It can be assumed that Ukkomon granted the "wish" in unity with Homeostasis (as deducted by Hikari at least and that will be relevant later on when we come to tying the lore together).

And then, in the next scene, you realize why Megumi Ogata voices Rui. The Shinji Ikari vibes are real with this one.

Ukkomon goes all "I would do everything for you to be happy" and we learn... That Rui's parents are already dead. They're just puppets Ukkomon has controlled to pretend a happy family life. It can be assumed that the same goes for the neighbour children who were seen during previous birthday scenes.

TW Violence/Gore/Blood

To say that the next scene is Ghost Game levels of gory and terrifying is an understatement. "I didn't know you took me to watch a horror movie", my friend says next to me. Rui ends up strangling his Digimon, trying to choke it to death, telling it that it completely misunderstood what he wanted, what he needed, what really makes him happy, that he never wanted any of this to happen. "This is not the happiness you wished for, Shinji-kun." When that doesn't work, he tries to smash his Digivice with a baseball bat... And loses his eye in the process. Fear not, Ukkomon pulls its own eye out to give it to Rui. More blood, more gore, body horror ensues as Ukkomon starts to melt away while crying in agony and disappears completely as Rui is surrounded by blood, the corpses of his parents and his own despair.

His narration ends there. All of that has happened years ago.

And I must say, I love Hikari. I really, really do. But in that moment, when she said "Poor Ukkomon, it just wanted you to be happy", I groaned. And heavily agreed with Rui when he replied "And that makes every action okay?!"

So again, one of the core messages of the movie is the subject of miscommunication. Rui says that there is no such thing as "unconditional bonds" and that "we can never fully understand each other". The Shinji Ikari vibes are SO strong with this one. The main conclusion the 02 group comes to is that they should have talked to each other better. That they should have talked about each other's intentions and needs, etc. And of course that IS a valuable lesson to take away from in every single way, but... Hikari's initial response felt so tone deaf to me in that moment. Of course she would empathize with the Digimon, but blaming the whole thing entirely on the abused kid not "communicating" properly with his partner after he finally experienced kindness and care after all the pain is just... Part of me wants to say "Yes, Hikari wouldn't want any Digimon to suffer, she hates injustice and condemns cruelty, we went through that with Ken's Digimon Kaiser arc", but the other part says "Hikari, do you remember the time you and your brother were traumatized because you two miscommunicated as literal children?! Taichi hurt you because he had good intentions, but you two didn't properly communicate - yet you never condemned him for that either, so I guess that's where it comes from and you haven't processed your own trauma yet after all." I am obviously not saying that she should condemn Taichi for what happened, but we also know that she idealizes him and that may have been her idealizing Ukkomon too. Hikari will be a kindergarten teacher, she will probably have to deal with other traumatized children in the future too, so... It's good that she contemplates her words as soon as Rui snaps at her, you can visibly see that she's thinking about it more closely. It's important to see the whole picture here - and that picture revolves around the circle of abuse. It's multi-faceted and it's important to address topics like that.

Then the egg hatches - and turns into a giant tentacle monster in the sky. But instead of Third Impact, it just created millions of Digieggs, to give each and every single human a Digimon partner. Because that was the initial wish, right...? To create more friends and give everyone a Digimon partner - just like the message on the screens says.

The kids start to panic, if that happens, it will cause lots of chaos all over the world, forcing partnerships to happen immorally like that, so they need to think quickly. Knowing that they need to stop it. Fight it. (Spoilers for Madoka Magica incoming here: In a way, Ukkomon's countless strings also reminded me of Kremhild Gretchen, the absurdly large witch form of Madoka that was so loaded with karma due to Homura's time traveling revolving around her that she turned out to be the most powerful, most devastating witch, nurtured by despair, capable of swallowing the entire planet, if not the entire galaxy...)

But... If Ukkomon is responsible for partnerships to be formed in the first place... Doesn't that mean that all ~60.000 partnerships that already exist will vanish too?

They discuss, they think about the consequences... And good old shoujo magical girl protagonist Daisuke Motomiya decides that partnerships aren't easily broken (*cries in Kizuna*), so they gotta go for it. The thing in the sky exists because of Rui's wish - so he is the only one who can solve this. Talk it out. Communicate it out.

And after some protagonist speeches and mutual encouragement, the Digimon all evolve up to their highest available level (meaning Imperialdramon, Shakkoumon and Silphymon - but they still had to show off Angewomon's new evolution animation prior to that, because DAMN) and rush to the place of the scene. Daisuke and Ken send Rui to fly into the egg in order to have a heart-to-heart, assuming that the Digimon evolved into this big tentacle monster in the first place because it just wanted to find a way to talk. (My friend interpreted this as some kind of Skullgreymon evolution, but I will get to that again in a sec!)

Thus he jumps in, travels back in time again, THIS TIME intentionally like the true Homura he was always meant to be - while Daiken act like a married couple wishing for their son to do his best.

If you know time travel stories, you also know that you're wise NOT to interact with what happened in the past. Ken even advises not to do that when they traveled back in time for the first time. But adult!Rui talks to his mother in the past, telling her that he knows she's got it hard - but that he wants her to listen to what her son has to say, because he really loves her. That makes the switch flip and she rushes to her neglected son to hug him... Hence causing the meeting between kid!Rui and Ukkomon to never happen. So Homura basically reached Madoka this time, huh.

Ukkomon still faces adult!Rui at the time and place they originally met - and Rui says he doesn't have anything to wish for anymore... Which Ukkomon at this point already knew. They have a light-hearted little exchange, talking about the things they actually didn't like about each other, finally being honest... And that they want to start over and meet again. "But for that, you need to let go of me now", Ukkomon says.

Rui travels back to the future and tells Daisuke and Ken that they still have to defeat the tentacle monster for the sake of a happy future. Of course they succeed, don't even need any new or special evolution or artifact to do that - and Ukkomon reverts back to a small egg in Rui's hands, ready to start over. With better communication this time, breaking the cycle of abuse once and for all.

And that's where it happens: The potential lore breaking - I mean, the whole thing is already confusing enough, which I will break down in a second, but...

Since the cause of the partnerships has now been taken out of the history books - the Digivices start to disappear.

All of them. Every single one on the entire planet. We see a BUNCH of international Chosen Children we've known from 02 before (including Wallace, Terriermon and Lopmon!) watching it happen with melancholic eyes. The Digivices slowly disintegrate into small light particles that float towards the sky... In the end, the kids reminisce about what the Digivices were there for in the first place, that they were a sign for the bond and connection between them and their Digimon - and that that may have been the case in the past, but that they're not needed anymore. That they don't need any device as proof for their connection. The bond between humans and Digimon can exist without having Digivices - at least from now on. So, in comparison to Kizuna, no partnership has "ended" this time.

Then a snowball fight happens between the 02 kids, their Digimon partners and Rui - initiated by Daisuke, who definitely intended to lighten the mood a little and cheer everyone up again. In the post credit scene, we see Rui fondly looking at the Digiegg in his hands.

The end.

... Wow.

Where to start, where to end. First of all, I NEEDED to check the Digimon Adventure novels again to see what exactly the Digivices were and how the process of "choosing the children" came to be. Excuse my rambling again, because I am still trying to figure out if all of this REALLY is lore-breaking or if there is a way to tie all of this together somehow.

So first of all - yes, Gennai did not know all about this, because apparently, a kid's wish caused all of this to get amplified. Homeostasis does not have a physical form, so it created its agents like Gennai - and PROBABLY Ukkomon too. Since we know the Digital World has "wish granting" abilities, I can accept there being a singular being that is capable of doing the same thing.

The question is - was the way the kids were utilized a happy accident too then? I'll try to interpret this as well as I can, but take all of this with a grain of salt, I may be completely wrong:

So to go in order: A Digiegg gets into the real world in 1995, and Homeostasis gets to scan Hikari, Taichi and the others, discovering the potential they have - since Hikari is the child that enables the hatched Botamon to evolve into Greymon super quickly, Homeostasis sends Parrotmon to retrieve it. Afterwards, in 1996, a Digimon like Ukkomon "would appear who had special connections with [a child] in the real world" (just like the 5 we kinda thought were the original Chosen Children). And thus, through Rui's wish, the "partnership system" was founded. Basically, Ukkomon's wish fulfillment powers enabled a system based on the limitless potential (of wishes and the bond between humans and Digimon) that was deemed useful by Homeostasis for the sake of saving the worlds. A system that wasn't in place like this before, so Rui was basically some kind of "prototype" - as was Ukkomon, kinda testing the waters of partnerships in the first place. And through analyzing the other 8 kids in the meantime, their potential had been discovered, which is why THEY also had Crests created for themselves. Like Ukkomon said - they came into existence to "protect" him, so he wouldn't have to save the worlds himself.

Takeru was the one who went "Wait, that's different information from what we have gotten!?" when Rui explains the whole situation, but I guess it could kinda make sense like this. The initial idea was based on a wish to just create "humans with Digimon friends" - and Homeostasis discovered that there is a HUGE "potential" in those partnerships since Digimon were capable of evolving faster and higher. And that also kiiiiinda explains why Gennai wasn't ever fully able to explain all of this, since - it was just very hard to explain. "You were chosen, because a kid wished for it" wouldn't sound convincing to anyone upon hearing it for the first time, right? Especially considering how often that question came up in several characters throughout the series. Sora, Jyou, Ken, just for example... They had all asked the question "why were WE chosen?" in one context or another. And now I can't stop thinking about this:

And... Even though it wasn't directly stated or alluded to in the movie, it kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda corresponds with the neglect theory too. Since - the moment Rui wanted to end the partnership, the Digivice malfunctioned and Ukkomon just disappeared. It didn't happen the same way as it did to Taichi, Yamato, Sora and Menoa - but in a way, the way Ukkomon appeared as a giant tentacle monster, YEARS after the departure from Rui, is somewhat reminiscent of Eosmon appearing as well. And to get back to my friend's idea - yes, that also means that Eosmon and Ukkomon's tentacle form are BASICALLY like Skullgreymon, the result of neglect and corruption in their human partners' hearts. The only difference here is that both Eosmon and Ukkomon had BONKERS abilities (that were both linked to Chosen Children specifically, one of them trapping their consciousnesses and turning those back into children, the other capable of creating partnerships in the first place), whereas Skullgreymon was just terrifying...

It also doesn't completely contradict Menoa's theory from Kizuna - since, again, in the end, that was just a theory. That children are chosen "because of their potential". This can be read in both ways: their potential for the sake of causing evolution for Digimon as well as their potential to be a friend to Rui. They couldn't possibly maintain that if they "lost their ways"... (By the way, we have also disproven that "becoming an adult" makes the bond vanish, because if that were the case, Jyou would have lost Gomamon YEARS ago. I stand with the neglect theory here.)

Does that make sense? I'm not entirely sure. But stating it like this satisfies my mind more than how it felt when I left the cinema. I just wish they used more analogies and visual cues (like the ring and wordings from Kizuna) to connect the dots a bit better, but maybe I overlooked a few things.

There were a few things that absolutely got me into overthinking mode, for lore or personal reasons, but I can at least accept this theory from a lore perspective.

(Edit: On a different note, I like the idea of treating Ukkomon like Menoa in the way of her being an unreliable narrator that led to the whole "adulthood vs. neglect theory" in the first place. So Ukkomon may actually NOT even be aware that Rui WASN'T the first Chosen Child because, either it really didn't know or was manipulated by Homeostasis to claim that it's true. The reasoning behind that could be interesting to look at too... Long story short: Never take anything in Digimon at face value!!!)

As for the personal things... I saw a comment on Twitter that basically went like "It tells you a lot that I didn't even have to name the 02 kids once in an overall review". Because... Yeah, the 02 kids in particular didn't actually do a lot. They DID build up on the positivity Daisuke had already spread since the end of 02, believing in their bonds and the power of friendship and everything. An interesting aspect was also asking the question of whether or not the Digimon are acting out of free will, or if they do things out of obedience like Rui said, implying that Ukkomon just assumed his desires and completely neglected itself in the process. Hawkmon confirms that he does things because he believes in them - he DOES act very obediently towards Miyako in the movie though. But my personal opinion is that it depends on the partners and the bond they have (compare that to Jyou and Gomamon and you get a very different picture - and even Hawkmon has the ability to scold Miyako, so it really depends).

But aside from that? There wasn't as much, despite a few neat little character moments that people may or may not like, depending on their stance on certain characters (and ships as well).

Daisuke will be Daisuke will be Daisuke. He's the (endearing!) simpleton shoujo magical girl protagonist with a good heart and literally nothing but Ramen on his mind. V-mon is the exact same, they share one braincell in the most endearing way possible, they even finish each other's sentences and didn't doubt their bond for a second. ("You wanna know what friendship is about? THAT is!", V-mon says while just shaking Daisuke's hand. They're adorkable.) The bickering with Miyako is a bit of a theme there - especially in ONE particular scene...

... And that is in a scene involving Ken. For Jogress reasons, obviously, Daisuke and Ken are framed together a lot - and in this moment, Ken compliments Daisuke on being so serious and focused as he affirms his trust in Rui... Only to have Miyako ask them why they're flirting rambling so much, to which Daisuke responds veeeery defensively. (Edit: I just learned that the Japanese version ACTUALLY said "flirting", so that makes it even better, they know exactly what they are doing.) That aside, Ken is rather torn about the whole situation, he occasionally looks very troubled when the subject of partnerships is mentioned - and while they don't draw any Kaiser parallels as I initially assumed, Wormmon at least mentions how he and Ken could put their divide aside through communication. Which was a nice touch. (Also, Wormmon blushing as Ken pets him like a cat in his arms is the cutest thing ever.) And then... There is also that theme about, aside from Daisuke, another person being in his sphere quite a lot...

... And that is Miyako. They have at least three scenes in which, mainly, Miyako is the one reassuring or teasing Ken in ways that CAN be read in a certain light, but they kept it VERY tame. Again, Ken is very often framed between her AND Daisuke (and there is a moment between Ken and Miyako where Daisuke literally walks out of the frame and if that isn't meta, I don't know what is and basically, I feel like they should just have made Daikenyako canon), but... If you know, you just know. Especially with her using somewhat ambiguous sentences like "Well, let's see what the future holds, together". (I already know that a certain artist on Twitter completely exploded over that scene. It was interesting though that she had gone back to "Ichijouji-kun", even though by the end of 02, she had called him "Ken-kun" already.) That aside - she is basically the tech support in this, also there to comment on Daisuke's brashness. (Also, her saying "Goodbye, trusty D3" really got me emotional, that was tough.) And her being tech support in place of Koushirou was important, because...

... It really wouldn't have fit to have Iori do that, in my opinion. Sure, he works with computers too, just like the others do - but the scene in which he types is basically just there, because the computer room they used as shelter is from his previous high school and a superior allowed him to use it, so he simply just opened the live stream of the floating digi egg. That aside, Iori is mainly voice of reason again, nothing too major. His best scene is probably the moment one of Daisuke's snowball hits him in the face - because that's where he gets FURIOUS, it's very nice.

Then there's Takeru - and he was probably my favourite character among the 02 kids in this movie. It was already noticeable in the drama readings during DigiFes, but his main role is to be self-aware and make snide comments about things like "Oh my God, we were fighting in the open, of COURSE the media/military/whoever would see that and find us, what did you expect?!". He does that twice. (Tailmon does it too, which is hilarious. Whereas Patamon is just an innocent bean. "Patamon, you have no idea what I just said, right? "No, Takeru!") He's also driving support, as we already saw in the preview - while Daiken are riding on Imperialdramon, he drives behind them with Hikari, Miyako and Iori in the car as well. I was a bit disappointed to not have him mention his brother when the subject of "losing partnerships" came up, because he was absolutely troubled about the idea of being the cause of +60.00 partnerships disappearing, so Iori had to tell him to be rational and not be selfish...

... On the other hand, Hikari didn't mention Taichi in this regard either. As mentioned previously, I tried to rationalize her comment on "Poor Ukkomon", relating it to her empathetic personality - it DOES makes sense for her to assume that Ukkomon only did what it thought was right, since they didn't communicate properly. She thoroughly trusts in that she and Tailmon would always make their bond work through communication. To be hopeful yet also confident about their bonds. And her reaction towards Rui committing perceived injustice towards Ukkomon makes sense in context of her personality, since she probably still hasn't fully processed her own experiences. It was just jarring that she wasn't able to empathize with Rui on that. Daisuke was more open towards lending Rui a helping hand there. And hey, that is a very Daisuke thing to do - just like he was the first to reach out to Ken (and Wallace too, once he noticed he needed help and support), he was the first to reach out to Rui too. Who may have acted cruelly towards his Digimon (and that is not to be excused), but that was literally the circle of abuse, applying directly what he had adapted from his own mother. Digimon wouldn't be Digimon without trauma after all... That aside, there was not a lot to say about Hikari. She got a shot with Takeru during the snowball fight (as Ken and Miyako did), but that was it.

Long story short - the movie was fine. Visually, animation and colouring were VERY nice to look at, maybe a bit confusing at times, but that's what rewatches are there for. The sound was pretty great, the horror aspects were insane, but very well done in my opinion. The pacing was... Alright, though I'm not sure why several of Rui's leap year birthdays were skipped and that Ukkomon didn't appear in the meantime after 2003, so it begs the question of why exactly the movie took place in 2012 and not before. We also didn't really see a lot of the communication processes between Rui and Ukkomon, it was just claimed that there was miscommunication, but we don't know what else they were talking about for Ukkomon to "misinterpret" Rui's wishes. And that's where it doesn't help that Ukkomon reminds me of Kyubey so much, because its expressions are hard to read too. It's also unclear if there was actually more abuse (verbally or non-verbally) going on in the back - but it's not unlikely that it has taken place after all. So yeah, for the sake of the length of the movie, that was a lot more simplified.

I also don't reeeeeally understand why they showed the full Paildramon evolution twice. (Again, they were self-aware to some degree, because Tailmon stated "Do they really have to draw that much attention to themselves already?")

It's kinda sad that they didn't get any new evolutions. The character beats could have been even stronger, the "friendship talk" is nothing we haven't heard before, so the bonds could have been empathized a little more clearly - but then again, there is only so much you can squeeze into 87 minutes. And you could still feel the sense of togetherness, so that is perfectly fine in the end. The lore aspect is still a little difficult to wrap my head around, but seeing how I've outlined it above, I can make it work. Definitely looking forward to the audio dramas that will drop in the upcoming weeks, because a.) they will apparently contextualize more (especially in regards to Rui and Ukkomon's relationship) and b.) might allow more character beats.

Unfortunately, they may not fix my biggest disappointment with this movie. I had already feared it, but still hoped they wouldn't actually do that...

The older kids got the Tri revenge treatment. Literally. The three-second-glimpse of Koushirou and Taichi is the only life sign we get from the six older kids. Koushirou gets at least mentioned two more times, but that's it. We don't see Yamato, Sora, Mimi and Jyou. Not even during the montages. Not even when all the Digivices disappear and they show all kinds of Chosen Children across the globe. Nothing. We have no idea if Tentomon, Palmon and Gomamon are still there or not. No cameo, nothing. And that really left me with a heartache at the end, because I hoped they may at least use a montage like they did with Kizuna in the credit scene. And now I am left here craving Koushirou fretting over his phones probably also not working anymore, so he has to figure out a solution for that, gaaaaah.

That last part really left a bitter taste in my mouth and kinda soured the experience of the movie, even if the audio drama centering around Takeru and Hikari (!) may also involve Taichi and Yamato, but... It was okay. For the time being, I did enjoy watching the movie and the experience in cinema was just amazing. It was just difficult to digest. Let's see when I'll get to rewatch it. And let's hope that there still will be more content about the entire group - even without them having their Digivices.

#personal #my two cents #meta #digimon adventure 02 the beginning spoilers #the beginning spoilers #digimon adventure 02 spoilers

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ohtobemare · 1 year

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**serious post read at your own discretion**

disclaimer–religious triggers, personal opinions

I'm not usually one for celebrity documentaries.

But, a mutual recommended Val Kilmer's documentary, since he's one of my favorite actors and has been since I was a kid and watched Batman Forever, so I decided to give it a go.

It amazes me that the cream of the crop (read: Michael Jackson, Elvis, Whitney Houston, etc.) always seem to rise out of some of the most tragic childhood and life experiences. Michael Jackson came out of domestic abuse and body dysmorphia. Elvis, the loss of his twin and poverty. Whitney, drugs and alcohol.

For Val– the loss of a brother, his parents' divorce, emotional abuse, and later a divorce himself resulting in separation of his children. He's arguably one of Hollywood's most prolific, real method actors, someone who embodies each and every character with heart and soul. He believes in real storytelling, not the modern knock-off we see in shallow blockbusters today.

He's one of the good ones. From Doc Holliday to Batman to the infamous Iceman, I'd argue that nobody is quite as talented as Val. A fact I've overlooked for a good few years now.

All throughout his career Hollywood and "the business" has labeled him difficult and eccentric because of his dedication to storytelling and authenticity, of keeping true to the theme. Because every movie has a theme, a message it communicates, since film is a medium of communication. He documents an experience in Australia, where a film was completely gutted for the sake of a production schedule, which left him baffled and broken.

And his journey with tracheostomy and throat cancer and the inability to speak. Wow. He really bares his soul and the reality of what fame being stripped away is really like. I cried quite a bit over this documentary, because even robbed of the one thing you absolutely need as an actor –your voice–Val is still 100% committed to the field. To the experience of storytelling. He adapted and threw himself into art, a studio, and documentation of his experiences and what it means to be a storyteller. He's passionate and raw, not swept up in fame.

Hollywood cost him everything. He even says he lost himself for awhile, that Hollywood is like stepping into hell. He's right. Fame will take until there's nothing you can give, and Val is one of the few to transcend actually caring.

Who knows how much of this is *actually* true, since Hollywood is infamous for smoke and mirrors and deception (if you know anything about the dark underworld of the industry) but I'll take it at face value.

Regardless of the question of honest truth, this was a refreshing look into acting. While I think it still ignores, or chooses to hide, the ugly and spiritual side of what it takes to make it in Hollywood, I can't think of a better or more raw approach to explaining the journey of fame and the art of visual storytelling. I always knew Kilmer was good–and there's a reason why. Art is in his soul, just as music was in Michael and Elvis'.

Hollywood took Val Kilmer and ran with him, and left him high and dry and hollow at the end. But, he's choosing to rise out of those ashes. I can commend him for that.

Yet another testament to how we don't know the full story of our peers' lives until we come up close and personal to it. God can make anything out of any backstory–a prostitute to anoint Him for burial, a hotheaded fisherman to become the rock of which He built His church, a shepherd to be the greatest king of Israel.

Despite Val not serving the same God or understanding the same Jesus Christ that I do, his life is a picture of just exactly what the world can offer you. Nothing. There is freedom in forsaking the standards of society and pursuing what God has destined for you, unabashedly. I can only pray Val Kilmer, and the host of others like him, can come to knowledge of who he is in Christ, and experience the passionate love of Christ's salvation.

10/10 documentary, and I hardly EVER give full marks. Worth your watch.

See Yas, From a former film reviewer

#val kilmer #movie recs #val documentary #fangirl #christianity #in all seriousness #my thoughts #val kilmer is officially my first stan

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artist-issues · 1 year

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One of the main themes of Lilo & Stitch was not destructive colonization or racism. You can say that about other movies. Other mainstream movies. Black Panther, for example. You can’t say that about Lilo & Stitch. There is only ONE SCENE where the issue of tourism as a negative thing and racism could be claimed to be the focus, and that scene was deleted.

Even in that scene, you have to look at the focus of the WHOLE MOVIE. The reason you must look at it that way is because Chris Sanders (director of Lilo & Stitch, voice of Stitch) basically started what is now known as Disney’s Story department. He is known for cutting out anything that distracts from or warps what the story is actually about.

It’s why Stitch speaks. It’s why Stitch is a Frankenstein’s Monster and not a gang leader or a mythical creature. It’s why Lilo is an orphan.

So what I’m saying is that deleted scene was to show how annoyed Lilo is by tourists—and why shouldn’t she be, they’re depicted as rude, ignorant, crude, and racist. But it goes deeper than that. It served 2 other purposes: one, Cobra Bubbles is watching, and sees how Lilo is allowed to roam wherever she wants and all the trouble she causes/gets into on her own. This provides more believably motivation for him to take this likeable kid away from her sister without being a villain, himself. Two, most importantly, tourists are people who come for a little while and then leave.

Lilo has issues because her parents were there one day, gone the next. And she’s only ever known life on an island where the economy is driven by people who are there one day, gone the next. When she wants to cause trouble for Nani she puts a picture on the fridge of herself, all alone, and tells Nani to “leave me alone to die.” She asks the wishing Star for “someone who won’t run away.”

What I am getting at is that, even in a deleted scene, the point of the negative light thrown on tourists is there to show you what Lilo needs and feels she doesn’t have: someone to stay, come back, not leave her behind. Tourists come and then they leave; that’s their nature. So she hates them. She says, “if you lived here, you’d understand.” when she sees Cobra watching, but when you look at the WHOLE MOVIE, and consider who Chris Sanders is as a storyteller, then you KNOW that racism and colonization were not the focus of this movie. The focus of this movie was that while other people come and go, family does not leave you behind or forget you.

And that philosophy, even in Hawaiian terms and origins, applies to everyone, not any one people group. Western people might say “‘Blood is thicker than water,” or Africans might quote the proverb, “A family tie is like a tree, it can bend, but it cannot break,” instead of “‘Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” The point is applicable to everybody, and the storytellers did that on purpose, and if you make it about tourism and colonization, then you’re narrowing the focus of the movie down to a small, mean place where it can only apply to a handful.

#and that one scene was DELETED #lilo and stitch #stitch #lilo #cobra bubbles #racism #colonization #disney #ohana means family

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itsawritblr · 27 days

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"I Will Not Read Your Fucking Script."

(For those of you who think professional writers are obligated to read your fanfic/short story/novel/screenplay.)

Originally published September 9, 2009 by The Village Voice.

*~*~*

So. I read the thing. And it hurt, man. It really hurt. I was dying to find something positive to say, and there was nothing.

by Josh Olson

We know you’ve been working very hard on your screenplay, but before you go looking for some professional feedback, you might keep in mind the following piece by A History of Violence screenwriter Josh Olson.

I will not read your fucking script.

That’s simple enough, isn’t it? “I will not read your fucking script.” What’s not clear about that? There’s nothing personal about it, nothing loaded, nothing complicated. I simply have no interest in reading your fucking screenplay. None whatsoever.

If that seems unfair, I’ll make you a deal. In return for you not asking me to read your fucking script, I will not ask you to wash my fucking car, or take my fucking picture, or represent me in fucking court, or take out my fucking gall bladder, or whatever the fuck it is that you do for a living.

You’re a lovely person. Whatever time we’ve spent together has, I’m sure, been pleasurable for both of us. I quite enjoyed that conversation we once had about structure and theme, and why Sergio Leone is the greatest director who ever lived. Yes, we bonded, and yes, I wish you luck in all your endeavors, and it would thrill me no end to hear that you had sold your screenplay, and that it had been made into the best movie since Godfather Part II.

But I will not read your fucking script.

At this point, you should walk away, firm in your conviction that I’m a dick. But if you’re interested in growing as a human being and recognizing that it is, in fact, you who are the dick in this situation, please read on.

Yes. That’s right. I called you a dick. Because you created this situation. You put me in this spot where my only option is to acquiesce to your demands or be the bad guy. That, my friend, is the very definition of a dick move.

I was recently cornered by a young man of my barest acquaintance.

I doubt we’ve exchanged a hundred words. But he’s dating someone I know, and he cornered me in the right place at the right time, and asked me to read a two-page synopsis for a script he’d been working on for the last year. He was submitting the synopsis to some contest or program, and wanted to get a professional opinion.

Now, I normally have a standard response to people who ask me to read their scripts, and it’s the simple truth: I have two piles next to my bed. One is scripts from good friends, and the other is manuscripts and books and scripts my agents have sent to me that I have to read for work. Every time I pick up a friend’s script, I feel guilty that I’m ignoring work. Every time I pick something up from the other pile, I feel guilty that I’m ignoring my friends. If I read yours before any of that, I’d be an awful person.

Most people get that. But sometimes you find yourself in a situation where the guilt factor is really high, or someone plays on a relationship or a perceived obligation, and it’s hard to escape without seeming rude. Then, I tell them I’ll read it, but if I can put it down after ten pages, I will. They always go for that, because nobody ever believes you can put their script down once you start.

But hell, this was a two page synopsis, and there was no time to go into either song or dance, and it was just easier to take it. How long can two pages take?

Weeks, is the answer.

And this is why I will not read your fucking script.

It rarely takes more than a page to recognize that you’re in the presence of someone who can write, but it only takes a sentence to know you’re dealing with someone who can’t.

(By the way, here’s a simple way to find out if you’re a writer. If you disagree with that statement, you’re not a writer. Because, you see, writers are also readers.)

You may want to allow for the fact that this fellow had never written a synopsis before, but that doesn’t excuse the inability to form a decent sentence, or an utter lack of facility with language and structure. The story described was clearly of great importance to him, but he had done nothing to convey its specifics to an impartial reader. What I was handed was, essentially, a barely coherent list of events, some connected, some not so much. Characters wander around aimlessly, do things for no reason, vanish, reappear, get arrested for unnamed crimes, and make wild, life-altering decisions for no reason. Half a paragraph is devoted to describing the smell and texture of a piece of food, but the climactic central event of the film is glossed over in a sentence. The death of the hero is not even mentioned. One sentence describes a scene he’s in, the next describes people showing up at his funeral. I could go on, but I won’t. This is the sort of thing that would earn you a D minus in any Freshman Comp class.

Which brings us to an ugly truth about many aspiring screenwriters: They think that screenwriting doesn’t actually require the ability to write, just the ability to come up with a cool story that would make a cool movie. Screenwriting is widely regarded as the easiest way to break into the movie business, because it doesn’t require any kind of training, skill or equipment. Everybody can write, right? And because they believe that, they don’t regard working screenwriters with any kind of real respect. They will hand you a piece of inept writing without a second thought, because you do not have to be a writer to be a screenwriter.

So. I read the thing. And it hurt, man. It really hurt. I was dying to find something positive to say, and there was nothing. And the truth is, saying something positive about this thing would be the nastiest, meanest and most dishonest thing I could do. Because here’s the thing: not only is it cruel to encourage the hopeless, but you cannot discourage a writer. If someone can talk you out of being a writer, you’re not a writer. If I can talk you out of being a writer, I’ve done you a favor, because now you’ll be free to pursue your real talent, whatever that may be. And, for the record, everybody has one. The lucky ones figure out what that is. The unlucky ones keep on writing shitty screenplays and asking me to read them.

To make matters worse, this guy (and his girlfriend) had begged me to be honest with him. He was frustrated by the responses he’d gotten from friends, because he felt they were going easy on him, and he wanted real criticism. They never do, of course. What they want is a few tough notes to give the illusion of honesty, and then some pats on the head. What they want — always — is encouragement, even when they shouldn’t get any.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell someone that they’ve spent a year wasting their time? Do you know how much blood and sweat goes into that criticism? Because you want to tell the truth, but you want to make absolutely certain that it comes across honestly and without cruelty. I did more rewrites on that fucking e-mail than I did on my last three studio projects.

My first draft was ridiculous. I started with specific notes, and after a while, found I’d written three pages on the first two paragraphs. That wasn’t the right approach. So I tossed it, and by the time I was done, I’d come up with something that was relatively brief, to the point, and considerate as hell. The main point I made was that he’d fallen prey to a fallacy that nails a lot of first-timers. He was way more interested in telling his one story than in being a writer. It was like buying all the parts to a car and starting to build it before learning the basics of auto mechanics. You’ll learn a lot along the way, I said, but you’ll never have a car that runs.

(I should mention that while I was composing my response, he pulled the ultimate amateur move, and sent me an e-mail saying, “If you haven’t read it yet, don’t! I have a new draft. Read this!” In other words, “The draft I told you was ready for professional input, wasn’t actually.”)

I advised him that if all he was interested in was this story, he should find a writer and work with him; or, if he really wanted to be a writer, start at the beginning and take some classes, and start studying seriously.

And you know what? I shouldn’t have bothered. Because for all the hair I pulled out, for all the weight and seriousness I gave his request for a real, professional critique, his response was a terse “Thanks for your opinion.” And, the inevitable fallout — a week later a mutual friend asked me, “What’s this dick move I hear you pulled on Whatsisname?”

So now this guy and his girlfriend think I’m an asshole, and the truth of the matter is, the story really ended the moment he handed me the goddamn synopsis. Because if I’d just said “No” then and there, they’d still think I’m an asshole. Only difference is, I wouldn’t have had to spend all that time trying to communicate thoughtfully and honestly with someone who just wanted a pat on the head, and, more importantly, I wouldn’t have had to read that godawful piece of shit.

You are not owed a read from a professional, even if you think you have an in, and even if you think it’s not a huge imposition. It’s not your choice to make. This needs to be clear — when you ask a professional for their take on your material, you’re not just asking them to take an hour or two out of their life, you’re asking them to give you — gratis — the acquired knowledge, insight, and skill of years of work. It is no different than asking your friend the house painter to paint your living room during his off-hours.

There’s a great story about Pablo Picasso. Some guy told Picasso he’d pay him to draw a picture on a napkin. Picasso whipped out a pen and banged out a sketch, handed it to the guy, and said, “One million dollars, please.”

“A million dollars?” the guy exclaimed. “That only took you thirty seconds!”

“Yes,” said Picasso. “But it took me fifty years to learn how to draw that in thirty seconds.”

Like the cad who asks the professional for a free read, the guy simply didn’t have enough respect for the artist to think about what he was asking for. If you think it’s only about the time, then ask one of your non-writer friends to read it. Hell, they might even enjoy your script. They might look upon you with a newfound respect. It could even come to pass that they call up a friend in the movie business and help you sell it, and soon, all your dreams will come true. But me?

I will not read your fucking script.

Josh Olson’s screenplay for the film A History of Violence was nominated for the Academy Award, the BAFTA, the WGA award and the Edgar. He is also the writer and director of the horror/comedy cult movie Infested, which Empire Magazine named one of the 20 Best Straight to Video Movies ever made. Recently, he has written with the legendary Harlan Ellison, and worked on Halo with Peter Jackson and Neill Blomkamp. He adapted Dennis Lehane’s story “Until Gwen,” which he will also be directing. He is currently adapting One Shot, one of the best-selling Jack Reacher books for Paramount.

#writblr #writers on tumblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writerscommunity #screenwriting #scriptwriting #asking pros to read your shit #writer #writers #writing life #writers life #writers problems #writing advice #writing tips #writing #queue

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jbk405 · 1 year

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My one story complaint for Glass Onion, and what they should have done instead:

My only complaint about the story of Glass Onion is that at the end, everybody completely forgets about Peg when it comes to testifying against Miles Bron. After he has burned the napkin and all of the ‘Disruptors’ have shown that they will go along with his story to protect their own fortunes and fame, either Helen or Blanc should have turned to Peg and asked her to tell the truth.

She hasn’t yet perjured herself in court, so there’s no legal liability for confirming that Andi came up with the idea for Alpha first. She doesn’t have the long history with Bron himself, so there isn’t the twisted, incredibly toxic web of “friendship” that the Disruptors all have with each other. She’s a literal afterthought to Bron, given a plastic cup to drink without comment when even the uninvited Benoit Blanc is graciously told to choose whatever he wants to drink. Add this all up, combined with the basic decency which Helen and Blanc can pray she has inside of her, and they should logically think that they can get her on their side.

And she may or may not decide to help, but they should have asked. Whichever way they decided to go with that, the story could still swing around the existing ending to the film.

If she says “yes”, that she will tell the truth, Bron can smugly say “What truth? The self-serving lie of an assistant about to be fired because it was just discovered that she had been sending e-mails from her boss’s personal e-mail account? An assistant that had approved the use of sweatshop labor and tried to frame her kind, caring mentor instead of confessing when the truth came out? I think we can all remember what really happened with that story...” The other Disruptors will go along with this as well, because they’re already in for covering up murder, so what’s one more lie on the pile. This ties in with the preeminent theme of the movie of the rich exploiting their employees, even their “friends”, without any care for them as people.

Or she can decide to side with the Disruptors right away for all of the same self-serving reasons that everybody else has. Her whole career has been built on handling Birdie, and if Bron brings Birdie down with him that leaves Peg with nothing to fall back on. She’s already tried to save Birdie earlier in the movie, not because she likes her but because she needs her. She’s in the exact same position as the Disruptors, stuck sucking on the Golden Tit, and she might choose go in whole-hog if she has to pick a side. This ties in with the other theme of the movie, that the rich will desperately seek to hold on to their status and wealth no matter who gets hurt.

Either way, the finale can play out the same as in the finished film, but this gap is stepped over.

In the film Helen walks up to Whiskey, Birdie, Lionel and Claire and says to their faces that they should tell the truth, but not to Peg. As it is, the way nobody even checks to see what story she is going to tell seems to say that even Helen and Blanc are just ignoring her in favor of the people who “count”.

#Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery #Glass Onion #Peg #What Could Have Been

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timeagainreviews · 7 months

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The Eve of the 60th Anniversary-ish

My ability to name things isn’t the best. I overthink and end up with a five-year-old blog called “Time and Time Again.” Terrible name. “I should change it,” I’ve said for five years. Well, I am going to do just that. But in the meantime, I need to find a name for this type of article. As is tradition around here, I like to write a short article about my predictions, expectations- nay, hopes for the incoming series or era of Doctor Who. I usually label them as “Thoughts Leading Up to…” which is fine. But is there a word or phrase out there that says it succinctly? A sort of Whatchamacallit, Marsupilami, Raxacoricofallapatorius? If I do find a better name for this series, do I call it part five or part one? Davies is calling season 14 “Season 1.” Why can’t I?

In considering a new name, I have decided to return to the very first article of this type- “The Eve of the Thirteenth.” So from now on, I’m calling this my “Eve of Series.” Hopefully, you’re reading this article on the Eve of the 60th Anniversary special “The Star Beast.” Or you’re way late to the game and it’s August. In that case, enjoy your view from Hindsight Bias Tower, as you laugh at my fatuous forecasts or marvel at my prognostic aptitude. So in no particular order, here’s a list of some shit I’ve been thinking about.

RTD2

Where else to start but the man himself? And what a controversial man he’s been (especially this week!) Not five minutes into the new RTD era and we’ve already had a massive retcon in the form of Davros. While, the discourse on this situation has been its usual abysmal self, I expect this to be par for the course. From Chibnall stans hoping their aggressors end up with egg on their faces to the far worse transphobes and ableists decrying every decision thus far, Davies is right there in the centre of it. Pushing people’s buttons. He seems like a man on a mission and if I had to guess, it is to shake the cobwebs out of our collective Doctor Who-themed sheets and duvets.

Davies has a monumental task ahead of him. Make something both the Chibnall stans and his haters would like to watch. He could ignore the haters, but they help keep the lights on. And just as important, you don’t want to alienate the people who have enjoyed the show for the last five years. In many people’s eyes, mine included, Chibnall left a broken show in his wake. It’s my opinion that Russell T Davies plans to break it further. I’ve thought about this a lot lately, and I think it may be time for us as a fandom to question why the Doctor has so many rules. Because let’s be honest, Doctor Who’s canon is a mess and it barely matters. Why not embrace that? You think the Cushing movies and the Past Doctor Adventure books are canon? Sure, why not. You still incorporate the Faction Paradox into your version of Doctor Who? Go for it. We all have our own version of Doctor Who, why not embrace that?

The Whoniverse

Considering the popularity of muti-verses in media right now (get ready for multi-verse fatigue) it makes sense that this new Whoniverse may start embracing the many directions Doctor Who branches. This is an opportunity to explore different avenues of the Whoniverse while simultaneously fueling the ever-ravenous Mouse’s need for Content™. In other words, Doccy Who is about to get crammed down our throats like nobody’s business. If you’ve ever had someone’s business down your throat, it can be nice but can also wear out its welcome. Short breaks help.

If you’ve read this blog, you’ll know I’m a rainy-day fan. I’m here for the long haul. I am not so much worried about overexposure to Doctor Who as I am the diluting of story. So long as the stories are good, I’m happy. So far, the Whoniverse has extended in the form of “Tales of the Tardis,” a sort of saccharine introduction to classic Doctor Who for beginners than an actual series in its own right. But in its short span, this unassuming nostalgia trip introduced us to an aspect that may just be integral to the Whoniverse at large. When Ace notes the Seventh Doctor’s older appearance he replies- “Timestreams are funny things. In some, I regenerate. In others, I don’t.”

Every time Data returns to Star Trek, we have to ignore the fact that Brent Spiner is ageing. Why does the Second Doctor have grey hair in “The Two Doctors?” These issues have bogged Doctor Who down for its entire run. It’s a rigid aspect of an otherwise malleable narrative. Not only does this dialogue explain the ageing appearances of Doctors, but it also gives writers carte blanche to do as they like. In this way, the Sixth Doctor gets a better costume. The Seventh Doctor has grey hair. And Davros has always walked. It’s a show about time travel and we as fans keep treating it like we’re the Time Lords. Time travel should be weird and confusing. As the Eleventh Doctor said- time travel is damage. Perhaps the Whoniverse will allow us to see some of that damage in its own time.

Fourteen’s Familiar Face (and Teeth)

When I had originally heard murmurs of David Tennant returning, I wrote them off as the worst idea possible. It’s not that I dislike David Tennant, but rather it felt like a step back for the show. I’ve always admired the show’s capacity for change and this felt stagnant. No Doctor should be the Doctor forever. Rather cleverly then, the show introduced us to Ncuti Gatwa before David Tennant. Already my curiosity had been piqued. Tennant was returning, but only for a moment. You have my attention, Russell. They knew we would see Tennant filming in his slick new threads, and they got ahead of it. It feels like equal parts stunt casting and clever writing. It would be unfair to any new Doctor to carry the weight of the 60th on their shoulders, so let’s revisit some of the old favourites, eh?

The Children in Need special was our first look at this Doctor, and as my friend Taryn put it- it was great until the Doctor showed up. It was a joke, but the stuff with Davros was genuinely interesting on its own. As soon as the Doctor showed up, the tonal whiplash was jarring. This isn’t to say it was bad. It’s for the kiddies, it should be lighter in tone. The joke about the Kaled anagram that went on too long was evidence early on that we were about to slip into the realm of panto. The main takeaway is that David’s still got it and that Ian Levine needs very little reason to turn on you. Neither of which was unknown to us before.

Donna and Rose

One of the more annoying traits some Whovians possess is the tendency to see a selection of Doctor Who characters and say “You left out so and so.” And usually, more often than not, that so and so is Rose Tyler. There’s always someone out there ready to see more David and Billie. That’s why I was pleasantly surprised to see the return of Donna Noble. But as a nice little nod to what came before, we get her daughter Rose. I love the entire idea behind this Rose. As Sharon Davies, Doctor Who’s first black companion was first introduced in “The Star Beast,” it’s delightful to know Doctor Who’s first trans companion will be introduced in “The Star Beast.” There’s a nice symmetry to that.

I also like what Rose implies about Donna’s story. When we last saw Donna, she was getting married and about to win the lottery. Her husband Shaun and her are still together all of these years later, and they have a daughter named Rose. As a trans person, I latched on to the name aspect of Rose’s character immediately as trans people name themselves. If she picked the name Rose out of nowhere, is it possible that a dormant Doctor Donna somehow passed attributes onto her progeny? Is there more to the name than coincidence? I certainly hope so. Russell T Davies seems dedicated to telling trans stories and our names are a huge part of our journeys. If he turned that aspect of the trans experience into a wibbly wobbly timey wimey phenomenon, I might love him forever.

I’m also just stoked as hell to see the return of Donna and her family. They’ve been hush on Wilf in the trailers. I suppose they’re trying to keep some surprises for the people out there who haven’t had Doctor Who news pumped intravenously for the last year and a half. I hope that they don’t forget Donna and Shaun’s lottery winnings. It would be a shame to see Donna bumbling around trying to find temp work after all this time. I hope she never had to work another day in her life. What I want for Donna, is a lot of what the trailers seem to imply- for her to feel whole again. Her adventures were stolen from her. I hope they don’t just bring her back to kill her. Donna doesn’t need to die to leave the TARDIS, she has a family. Give her a happily ever after!

Disney+

While we here in the UK will see no Doctor Who on Disney+, the rest of the world will. This is pretty big as many younger international viewers resort to piracy as they don’t have cable and no one in their right mind would pay for HBO Max or whatever the hell they’re calling it now. Recently a bunch of the usual shitty diaper babies shat their shitty diapers over the idea that people in other countries might be able to watch Doctor Who before the UK. I highly doubt that will be the case. Just because time zones exist doesn’t automatically mean that they won’t wait to drop the episode once it becomes available in the UK. I don’t know that for certain, but what I do know for certain is it hardly matters.

I’ve also seen some people worry that Disney will have too much say in Doctor Who’s content. And while they have given RTD the occasional note, it is still Bad Wolf making the decisions. I would like to think that Disney knows to leave well enough alone. They’ve not exactly had a great year at the box office, so it’s not like their advice is valuable these days. They could tell you a hundred ways to tank a franchise, which is technically helpful. Add to that the year they had with SAG-AFTRA and I think they’re probably hurting for a bit of help from their friends in Britain. Disney’s biggest contributions will likely be calling season 14 “Season 1,” as to not confuse subscribers and a higher budget. We appreciate the cash injection, Mickey, but please piss off.

Murray Gold replacing Segun Akinola

I wrote the exact opposite of that sentence five years ago. It’s weird how many aspects of Doctor Who have returned, but this was the first one that actually felt like a step back to me. Murray Gold is a great composer. His theme for The Face of Boe is a gorgeous piece of music. Matt Smith’s theme song might be my favourite Doctor Who theme song ever. But I am a fan of the Radiophonic Workshop and Segun Akinola was tapped into that in an exciting way. I’m just not sure what more Gold can do than more of the same.

Gold’s new intro was the second time I was disappointed by RTD’s Doctor Who. While many people were living for it, a few of my friends and I were disappointed. It gets a bit meandery and the parts you want to go hard simply don’t. I’m going to chalk this up to the poor sound of a live performance and hold my final judgement for the fully mixed version. As it stands, it’s standard Murray Gold. Nothing new. Underwhelming in its sameness. However, as I was tufting a Doctor Who rug the other day, I listened to the first six season soundtracks back to back and found myself pleasantly surprised by some of their offerings. Gold was always doing his best work when it was atmospheric and electronic. That’s the Murray Gold I’m most interested in hearing more from.

The Specials Themselves

For the most part, I’ve stayed away from fan speculation. Even in this blog, I’ve tried to stray from speculating actual plot points (save for Rose). I mostly hate it because it’s all hearsay and ultimately bullshit. There have been the supposed “leaks” about bi-regeneration and even if they’re true, it doesn’t mean it’s automatically bad. Good writing can make just about any concept work. If you were to read out the plot synopsis of any story, it could sound awful. What a synopsis lacks is gripping dialogue, compelling scenes, and filmmakers coming together to achieve the correct tone. You can't gauge how good something is going to be by description alone.

What I can see is Neil Patrick Harris as the Toymaker, pulling the strings of the Doctor’s fate. Is he the reason for this familiar regeneration? Is Beep the Meep’s status as a comic book character part of it? How meta will this go? Will the Doctor remember Beep the Meep from his Fourth Doctor days or will the Meep be brand new to him? I’ve said before that you don’t want audiences asking the wrong questions. I feel like every question I’ve had since filming began was one of curiosity as opposed to confusion. I’m excited to be excited over Doctor Who again. When they revealed the three posters for the specials, I literally jumped for joy. I was ecstatic. These posters were creative, fun, and they left you wanting more. Fantastic.

My Own Relationship to the Show

My version of Star Wars is the original trilogy. I can’t stand the prequels. But lately, I’ve tried to take a lighter attitude toward them. While I still think they stink, I also recognise that they’re here to stay. That’s kind of where I am with the Timeless Child. I still hate the concept, but I accept it’s here to stay. And I am actually trying to be more open-minded about it. Now that we have better writers at the helm it might even turn into something interesting. As I stated above, the fandom is due a shakeup. As it stands, I am pretty open to a shakeup. This doesn’t mean that I don’t secretly hope Susan will show up and be revealed as the actual Timeless Child, but I’m realistic.

Recently someone also pointed out to me that the Doctor’s watch could have turned the First Doctor into a normal Time Lord, with the usual number of Time Lord regenerations. While this doesn’t explain why the Doctor being the most important Time Lord ever was necessary, it at least helps plug a plot hole. It’s ironic that Chibnall’s questionable writing may actually lead to Doctor Who’s canon being blown wide open. Equally ironic is the fact that he has actually improved my enjoyment of Doctor Who. I call it the Chibnall Effect. After the Chibnall era, middling episodes of the Davies and Moffat era have been bumped up considerably. Sometimes it takes a bad film to help you recognise a good film.

There’s a wrongheaded notion floating around these days that RTD fans are living off of nostalgia. While I don’t doubt there will be someone out there chasing a feeling lost to the winds of time, I should also point out that not all of us watched the Davies era as children. I was in my late 20’s when I got into Doctor Who. I have no little kid nostalgia for it. I was a junior in film school. I’ve been taught how to view art critically and I can say that the Davies era has its flaws and its strengths. I think for an atheist, he has a weird obsession with the Doctor as Jesus. And I found the schmoozy romance between Ten and Rose nauseating. But the man knows character development. He understands human emotion better than Moffat’s stunted women or Chibnall’s stunted everyone. What I’ve found in revisiting the RTD era is a consistent focus on characterisation. Without that, all of the clever writing and stellar effects amount to nothing. I love when Doctor Who is great, but at this point I’ll settle for competent.

A Personal Note

As I stated in my Monster Makeovers article, I will be covering the new episodes as they release. However I have recently started a bit of a project. I have taken up rug tufting and hope to eventually make a living out of it. Because of this, I will have to budget my time. My hope is that I will always have time after episodes to write reviews, but they may occasionally be a day late. If you’re interested in following my rug tufting journey, I started an Instagram account under the name pipedreamfasting. Feel free to drop me a follow.

In other news, I am actually planning on changing my blog’s name. I’ve been mulling a few ideas over, but nothing is final. Maybe I’ll do a poll, that is if my reader base is large enough for a poll to matter. That being said, I hope your Doctor Who anniversary special experience is a happy one! There’s been so much vitriol in the fandom lately that we could all use a positive experience. Happy anniversary to the greatest show in the galaxy!

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st4rr-girrl · 1 year

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Struggling in silence

ON HOLD

{Series; prologue}

Ep. 1

Summary; You struggle heavily with mental health, but you don’t want to tell the gang, afraid of judgement. So you fake your happiness so they don’t know. Slowly they start figuring things out.

Warnings; Cussing, self harm, abuse, neglect, suicidal ideation, blood, gore, angst, mental illness, attempted suicide, sexual/nsfw themes, drugs, alcohol, violence.

Now playing; genexix

You’ve known the gang your whole life, since your parents were friends with their parents and you were only 15.

Your life has always been hard; your parents were abusive. Nobody knew though. Not even the gang. You hid all your bruises so well and masked your emotions. Nobody suspected a thing.

Not to mention your un treated mental issues. You knew there was something wrong with you, but you refused to tell anybody. They would just use it against you. Like everyone does.

Back to the abuse; your dad would physically hurt you, along with mentally and verbally abuse you. While your mom ignored you in a whole. She always avoided your pleading eyes for help, and would grimace every-time you got beat.

If she wanted to, she could save me.

You started to think your father forgot about her existence. He would cheat on her every night, and only a knowledged her when they were outside around people they knew. Or in church. How ironic.

You were very close with the gang. They were your true family. Although you held love in your heart for your abusive and neglective parents, you will always love the gang more than you loved your parents.

You were super close to two people in particular; you liked them a little more than a friend should. You didn’t view them as family, though.

Relationships w the gang

Johnny Cade. He had it way rough at home, and you secretly related to him, though you’d never tell him. He’d accidentally slip up and tell Ponyboy, who would tell Darry due to worry about you, then Darry would tell the gang and your life would be over. Nobody knew about your huge crush on Johnny. Though you wanted to tell him how you felt, you knew he didn’t like you back, so you loved him from a distance.

Dallas Winston. He’s also another huge heart throb you have. Nobody knew about that, either. You loved him so much. You him and johnny were so close, and you’d all go crazy if you lost each other. He always protects you, and you keep him out of as much trouble as you can in return.

Darry curtis. He’s like an older-brother figure to you. Well— the whole gang (expect for j and d) are like older brothers to you. He’s a lot more strict than the others, but only because he cares. You get where he’s coming from, but he can be harsh.

Sodapop Curtis. Another big brother. Though he’s goofy, and you feel like you can let loose a little more around him. He doesn’t judge very much. He’s protective of you, because he sees you like a little sister. He’s a little more protective of you, than he is of Ponyboy, because Ponyboy is a little stronger than you. (Mentally and physically)

Ponyboy Curtis. He’s like a younger brother, but you view him like the same age as yourself, and he appreciates that. You understand him more than anyone in the gang, and he always goes to you for support. You’re glad that he can rely on you. He is also another reason why you won’t tell anyone about your troubles. You’ll disappoint everyone that rely on you— including pony. You and him also watch movies together and trade books.

Two-bit matthews. He’s goofy, and jokes around with you a lot. You both push each other around for the fun of it, and he thinks it’s the funniest shit ever. He knows when to be serious with you, like if you get seriously hurt, or something traumatic happens. He checks up on you every once in a while, cause he suspects something is up with you. He always tries his best to make you laugh.

Steve Randle. You and Steve don’t really acknowledge each-other much, but you do converse about cares every once in a while. You both still really care about each other— despite not being as close. He loves you and he’ll protect you no matter what, and vice versa.

That’s what’s important— now let’s get on to the story.

#sodapop #two bit mathews #two bit #the outsiders sodapop #the outsiders ponyboy #the outsiders dally #the outsiders #sodapop x reader #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #series #the outsiders x self harm reader #mentally unstable #comfort #angst #steve randle #dally winston #dally x reader #dally

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waeirfaahl · 7 months

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Balto 2 Wolf Quest main problem

Balto-2 was… a very controversial topic among fans, especially fans of the original Balto 1995 film. The only defense for the sequel that I can say — the crew of Balto-2 (especially the writer and the director) were really nice people, as well as the sources of inspiration for Wolf Quest were really deep, mature and interesting and gave very promising themes about coming of age, parent-child relationships, finding own place in the world, self-discovering, learning the culture of far relatives and ties with nature. And they had several fresh and cool ideas for another sequel. However, the story has issues, which, unfortunately, ruin really a good story. From the story perspective there are two aspects, which totally contradict to the original film and hence devalue it.

First of all. In the original Balto the main protagonist becomes the hero, who saved sick kids of Nome, so both humans and dogs finally accept him and see his kindness and nobility. In Balto-2 Aleu is the only pup, who resembles Balto the most, hence every family would adopt her first, a daughter of the wolf hero. But for some reason nobody wants to adopt her due to wolf traits despite there's no reasons for distrust toward wolfdogs anymore.

Second. In the original film Balto finds out who he truly is (a wolf) and embraces his wolf nature, overcoming his inner demons and self-doubts in the gorgeous white wolf scene. Simply saying, Balto accepts his wolf heritage and becomes confident, he realizes that it is a strength, not a weakness or disgrace, and exactly this saved his life and lifes of those kids, hence he would teach his pups to be noble and confident, be proud of the wolf ancestory.

However, for some reason Balto-2 ignores this crucial moment and makes Balto to be ashamed of his wolf side again and to hide from his daughter the fact of his wild roots, insisting the idea that she will be a good dog and her heritage is great due to her mother being a purebred dog. Yep, the same character, who said "Since when you need a pedigree to help someone?" in the original movie, in the sequel points out purebred dogs as superior... The main complaint from fans of the original film was the decision of the sequel to turn the White Wolf into Balto's mother, Aniu, ruining mystery of the scene and this character. Fans tried to find explanation to this in the original film, but the answer is simple — the crew of the sequel simply enjoyed the white wolf from the original film, they had no information about the intention of the original film. Yes, they said that Aniu was the white wolf from the original film, but it is not true. If you read interview with the director of the original film, read the script and see all production materials (concept arts and storyboards), you'll find out that the white wolf was a male and symbolised Balto's wolf side and self-acceptance, as well as Balto's wolf side came from his father.

What I can say, the main problem and mistake of Balto-2 is exactly the decision to make Balto's mother to be his wolf side, because other morbid moments exist only because of this decision, erasing the original movie and creating plot holes, logical holes and contradictions. But about everything in order.

In the sequel Balto mentions that he lived only with his wolf mother and knew only her, i.e. there's no pack or whatever. And he had fond memories about her, her white fur and warm voice. Being very young pup, he accidentally got lost, Boris the goose found and took him in, raising him as his own son. Balto never had a father — according to the sequel's crew, Balto's father was never developed, but was intended to be an unknown stray dog, a loner, who begets a pup and then never even knows it. I.e. there was no love between him and Aniu, he abandoned her after mating. Yes, you get it right. If in the original film dogs were afraid of wolves, here we see some crazy dog, who runs hundreds miles away from a village or town to the forest, full of hungry wild animals, mates with legendary and revered she-wolf, leaves her without any consequences and then has no idea about Balto's existence. So, here's my questions. Why the she-wolf mated with this random stray mutt? Why she raised Balto alone, not in a pack? Why did Balto think that his father is a dog, if Balto never had a father and vaguely remembered only his mother? Why Balto considered himself as a half-breed instead of a wolf, if he was only with his wolf mother? Why humans from Nome considered Balto as a wolfdog instead of a regular wolf, if Boris the goose found and raised Balto, not humans? Why he didn't leave Nome and didn't try to find his wolf mother all this time? Why his mother didn't use her nose for finding her son's scent and returning her son?! Balto used his nose to find the lost sled dog team, travelling many miles, and succeeded in this! Why Boris brought young Balto in Nome (and travelled thousands of miles from the forest somehow) instead of help to find his mother? Since Balto knew only his wolf mother and loved her, why on Earth he would be ashamed of his wolf heritage? Why on Earth he would have this inner conflict with "Who am I? Wolf or dog?"? Balto would perfectly know that he is a wolf and would be proud of this, he'd go with a pack! Why on Earth he would desperately want to be a sled dog and to be accepted by humans and dogs, if his mother figure was a wolf and his father figure was a wild goose, who disliked humans, and especially if all townfolks and all dogs of Nome rejected Balto all his life, while wolves were friendly to him and wanted him to become a part of their family? (not to mention stupid fan-theory "Hunters killed Balto's mom" from nowhere — then Balto would hate humans and dogs even more) The idea of Balto's mother being a wolf makes zero sense and impossible. It ruins everything.

I especially "like", how she reveals herself to Balto and then disappears, showing no love to her son and no answers to audience. Not to mention Balto's clear attempt to blame her in his and Aleu's troubles, since he refers to her as "the wolf" and "she" and is ashamed of her despite the fact that Balto knew only her and lived with only her and loved her (and at the same time he wanted to be a dog and refered as "dad" to unknown dog, who abandoned his mother and has no idea about Balto).

2. If you didn't know, Aniu is the wolf deity, the author described her as The Great Mother of all wolves and a part of The Great Guardian Spirit, she symbolizes the call of the wild and helps to find true self. Plus, the sequel itself hints this — wolves always refer to her as the Great Aniu, she transforms into various other totem spirits, and she is depicted on the totem pole, hinting how ancient she is. This fact makes Balto literally a demigod-wolf, half-spirit basically. And there's a serious problem, because making this wolf goddess as Balto's mother creates a lot more questions, holes and morbid moments.

Why this wolf goddess mated with a random stray mongrel? When young Balto accidentally got lost, why Aniu didn't try to find and return him? If she couldn't be with him due to her divine nature and duties, why she didn't bring him to a wolf family? She is the revered goddess, every wolf would be proud to adopt and raise her son! But nobody among wolves knew that their goddess had a demi-god son all this time! She literally abandoned Balto to suffer among humans and dogs and to deny his wolf nature and she ignored him all his life. Plus, according to the crew, the totem spirits attacked Balto, 'cause he denied his wolf part, while Aleu didn't. Ah... then they should attack him since puppyhood. The same thing with the nightmares Balto had — the reason is that 'cause he denied his wolf side, but he had nothing of this in the original film. And exactly Aniu made these nightmares and visions.

Moreover, this idea literally destroys the original film. The original film was about self-acceptance and inner nobility, how Balto, being nobody with regular parents, becomes hero due to own moral qualities and noble deeds in contrast to the purebred and evil malamute Steele — the choice and deeds matter, not origin. Balto-2 Wolf Quest instead makes the opposite idea that Balto is a noble hero, because he has divine heritage, because his mother is a goddess, and that his daughter became the leader of the wolf pack because she is a granddaughter of this wolf goddess. Plus, as I pointed out here, the totem pole always was here, so Aniu and other spirits saw Balto's pain and suffering, but did nothing to help him, Aniu didn't help to Balto to embrace his wolf heritage, when he was a pup or a teen, so he could go with a pack. She did nothing, when Steele tried to murder Balto several times. Why?

Well, according to the author, because Balto was "only a part of greater plan", and the result of the Aniu's prophecy is Aleu, Balto's daughter, who inherited magical abilities from Aniu and was the chosen one. And Wolf Quest several times hints that Aniu has foreseen everything.

It means that Balto was unloved, unwanted and unneeded pup for Aniu. She mated with a random mutt only for this "greater plan" and "prophecy". She birthed Balto and then abandoned him only for this "greater plan". She ignored him all his life and ignored his pain only for the prophecy. She doomed her son to suffer among humans and dogs only for this and only for birth of Aleu as the chosen one. By this same logic, she, the one who protects wolves, decides to help humans (i.e. enemies of every wolf) by throwing Balto as the one who will save them and mate with another dog. Simply saying, Balto was born as a wolf demi-god and abandoned in suffer and pain simply to birth the female demi-god wolfdog, who is the chosen one. Because some totem deities decided so, and one of these deities was his own mother. And everything in the original movie and the sequel was predetermined then. Great, no comments...

#balto #balto movie #balto 1995 #balto 2 wolf quest #balto's mother #balto's father #aniu balto #white wolf balto #balto the white wolf #aleu #aleu balto #balto aleu

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amrv-5 · 9 months

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HI ⭐️! (loved Droughtland, would love to hear commentary) :)

HELLO and THANK YOU FOR THE ASK and I'm SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT I loved WRITING IT ARGHH!!!! Also tagging in @catgrub who asked the same just a few minutes later -- HELLO and THANK YOU ZANE!!! Since there were two recs for Droughtland I feel like the extreme length of the following Commentary can be excused.

(For context: I realized I've got 0 idea of how to do a Director's Commentary except for ones I've seen where directors just rewatch their own movie and speak overtop of it, so, I did the same except with reading and typing. This is my read-along author commentary on Droughtland, arranged in chronological order--feel free to look at it with the OG, or not, it should stand alone just fine. Or ignore it entirely. My god it's fucking long, so sorry. Anyway, onwards.)

Okay close reading. Okay commentary. Engaging on this journey together yaaaay.

[Iowa, 1962]

Okay, from the first line, we’re invoking concerns of location, identity, belonging, otherness—Radar struggling to adjust to home because he senses he’s been changed by his experiences in a way that makes him incompatible with the life he used to lead. He’s good at his job, we sense that he’s well-respected, but he’s undeniably not entirely present. Everything he does, sees, thinks, remembers, ends up in service of the Project, which I think I’ve (maybe not obviously or even all that consciously) tried to imply has an element of spiritual or religious calling to it, given that we’re introduced to it in a church.

And retrospectively enjoying the complexity of Radar running the line between escapism and catharsis in his writing at the end of this first section. He misses the people he was close to, that much is clear, and writing is a way to feel close to them. And yet he’s also mentally returning over and over again to a war. A theme I’ve played with in the background of my BeejHawk fics, and more centrally in Droughtland, is one I sort of cribbed from Michael Herr’s Dispatches: Who are you after the most defining event of your life has ended?

[Iowa, 1952]

...And who are you when you KNOW the most defining event of your life has ended? That’s not to say the War Was A Good Experience and One To Reminisce Over. In fact the war being experientially horrific only complicates this idea more. I’m fascinated by how somebody goes about the rest of their life knowing with near-certainty that anything / everything they experience will likely never be as impactful on their sense of self and arc of life than a single past event. Anyway, this ends up concerning Radar greatly, who moves from that Defining Event—Drafted Into the Korean War—back to the rhythms of family and farm life, where he expects himself to be content with the life he’d always assumed he’d have. Actually I’ve read more and realized I had him state that concern textually, rendering this redundant. Ah well. Moving on.

Okay, something else—Radar and writing and fiction and voice. I wanted to get across very clearly that the driving force of his writing is a direct desire to communicate—his first attempt at beginning the book takes the form of an introduction (“My name is Radar O’Reilly”), and he states that writing lets a fellow talk to people who aren’t around. The silent implication being, then, that he’s got no-one real to talk to. Another important set of questions getting kicked around in this piece: Why do we write? Is writing still communication if it’s never shared?

I wanted to play with the idea specifically of writing in relation to loneliness. If you’ve got nobody to talk to, or no way to express yourself meaningfully, or nobody who is interested in understanding you, it makes a lot of sense to sink into the realm of the creative, which we see Radar do here very explicitly. He doesn’t have any close connections, really, or at least not ones he thinks he can explain his new sense of self to, so he turns to writing. Summoning the last people who really understood how he felt, in some ways, writing to communicate with people who are dead or gone from him. Making some record of himself, his experiences, the way he sees the world—an attestation of self, or something, in direct defiance of a landscape and life that feels flat, uncaring, inaccessible—he starts writing alone in a field.

[Iowa, 1959]

Next—mm, field fire section, which was my favorite to write. I’m clearly and obviously soft for rural concerns. I know it’s been pointed out that my voice is significantly different in this fic than in my others, and I’ll admit that I did dip into the author-voice I usually reserve for my personal fictionalizations of family histories, which largely concern, go figure, rural American questions of identity, place, belonging, family, fulfillment, etc. And yet the usual Vonnegut-y sensibilities aren’t wholly gone—the idea of Radar being a volunteer fireman was lifted both from Vonnegut’s life AND volunteer firefighters' positioning in his work as bastions of selfless humanity and civic duty. I like the idea of a latently lonely Radar doing all these very quiet upright civically-minded things. Frequently good people are dealt bad hands, and aren’t cared for by their communities, and still go on doing good anyway.

[Iowa, 1963]

Reading on—and the arrival of BeejHawk. It’s been long enough by this point that Radar’s sort of been subsumed by the Project. We see that tendency in him as he anticipates seeing ‘Dr. Pierce’ and meets Hawkeye instead.

And then—AH! At last! The title is Droughtland, obviously, and that’s a multivalent image, but here’s at least one moment and facet of relief: Sometimes, he thought, a fellow just needed words. Words and words and words like rain on a drought. And the good doctors Pierce and Hunnicutt had always known how to talk up a storm.

As much as it’s a relief, it’s also destabilizing to suddenly have people notice him after so long living almost entirely within himself—Hawkeye calling him Radar shocks him into silence—wow, I’m realizing belatedly just HOW MUCH this fic is about loneliness, actually. Funny the things you can catch on a reread. His name is important, that’s all, and Hawkeye would understand that.

Meanwhile BeejHawk as a unit are very clearly sensing something wrong—not wrong, maybe, but not all right, either. Radar’s Restaurant Allegory is key here as he admits that ‘enjoyment’ is absolutely meaningless in the context of his life—it doesn’t matter if you like the restaurant if it’s the only option. It’s not that he likes or dislikes it—it’s that forming and expressing an opinion would be pointless. This is a stand-in for his opinion on life, which Hawkeye finds distressing, though I think he’d agree with Radar to a degree on his related idea that happiness, delight, joy are intentional practices more than consistent feelings (another idea cribbed from elsewhere: Ross Gay’s Book of Delights, which I am coming to realize sunk way more deeply into my psyche at age 19 than I thought. I may elaborate someday if there’s ever an interest in Parker Creative Nonfiction because the story’s sort of ???, but also, maybe not).

Anyway, Hawk at last manages to drag a bit of real sentiment out of Radar: writing, and the Project, where so much of his internal life is focused (Hawk makes a Lot’s wife joke, because of course he does, but also I like him invoking a story where somebody looks backward on something terrible and suffers for their inability to turn away).

And from here Radar takes the plunge and finally gives all that lonely writing an audience. Terrifying, but it pays off—Hawk affirms that he’s very good (important to me that Radar’s very good as a writer coming from outside a formal academic context. Everybody has the potential to create resonant art, and I wanted to be clear that Radar’s interest in something like the Iowa Writer’s Workshop isn’t the need to be Validated by the Institution or to Escape some sort of poorly-informed or condescending vision of Rural Nonintellectualism (bad themes!!! I hate them!!! NOT at play here, or at least consciously attempted to subvert) but as an extension of the desire for artistic community. To be seen and heard, instead of all the silent listening he’s been doing for years.)

The tradeoff of communicating, by the way—Hawk is a good listener, and picks up on a number of things maybe Radar wasn’t even aware he was revealing in his work—loneliness, vague dissatisfaction, a focus on finding interior fulfillment when the external world fails to provide. Scary, destabilizing, embarrassing… but eventually very, very good. For Radar, at least, who’s suddenly feeling like he’s allowed to want something.

Moving on. Hawkeye’s reaction to learning he’s a part of Radar’s Project. Obviously he’s worried about how he’s going to come across. I think it’s a very scary thing to be the object of cameras, of writerly gaze, all of it, because it creates an image that exists entirely outside the object's control. How horrifying/enticing/awful/fascinating it’s got to be to be able to find out how you exist in another person’s mind… and when that image was formed in the lowest years of your life… of course Hawk’s apprehensive. And clearly it rattles him—but maybe in the way any really, really resonant art rattles us, based on his next-morning response.

Hawk comes downstairs and we get this baffling little kiss scene, which I’ll be honest I wasn’t entirely sure what it meant when I was writing, only that it felt right. But now I’m thinking it’s clearly an exchange of seeing—Hawk feels he’s been thoroughly Seen in Radar’s work, for better or worse, and comes downstairs to communicate in this abstract way that he sees Radar, too—and affirms what he sees.

So we end with these moments, finally, of communication and understanding and connection. Very obviously there’s the Hawk-Radar connection, which is so intense and emotive it’s basically psychic (what's good writing if not successfully communicating an idea or image with all original emotive force and vividness from one mind to another?). There’s also Beej, who isn’t Hawk’s brand of incidentally clairvoyant, but is all around a very bright, kind, warm person who’s able to give Radar the sort of horrendously necessary everyday sort of conversation and care that makes life bearable, the kind it’s so easy to take for granted when you’re experiencing it regularly. And then there’s BJ stepping in to hold Hawk even if he doesn’t fully understand what’s transpired between Hawk and Radar, because he knows Hawk and knows that he needs a second of support, which is sort of psychic in its own way.

And that's the end. So, overall, I’d say the thing is very directly related to the title—drought of the soul which is only starting to lift by the end of the piece. One storm doesn’t solve a drought, after all—you need consistent rain, and time for ecological repair. And still the first few drops of rain after a dry spell feel awfully good.

#THANK YOU BOTH FOR THE ASK!!!!!!#and. i'm soooo sorry for the length of this I was having Fun. do not feel obligated to Actually read it it's Excessively Detailed #anyway. ouuugh #droughtland #fic commentary

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