#because nothing will ever top this. THIS meme is my peak

[onebraincell-itmiebcraft]

Okay time for the liveblogging of real life in order (liveblogging life SMP call that lifeblogging) I have never done this b4 be easy on me

Grian

I've already watched his perspective at like 5 in the morning but heyyyyy nothing wrong with rewatching with added non sleep deprived commentary but also not really memories of what I originally thought watching this too :^))

I remember being so stunned they called it real life and the anatomically correct heart 🫀tickled my funny bone heeheehoo hahaha

Thought when grian said replay 3rd life I thought they'd reenact it 😭

We live in a society taxes man (I could ramble about it)

GRIAN IRL FACE!!!

has anyone fell over btw?

No lie that B can BIG

Reminds me of slimecicle jshitt and traves VR Minecraft where Travis got progressively shorter what a laugh

Does Scott ever see his scream

Is it take the Mick or take the nick love that idiom

RENDOG!

Scar looks like a child doing that thing

Awww hug

ABUSE

scar take the headset off dzuh 🫀🫀🫀

Grian literally me balance issues

Yugioh????

I called it, scar would say he's American 😎

I'm eating dinner while watching this at the same time what fun w

Giran called solidaritygaming jimmy no way + he died first fr this time + loud "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Perfectly timed his mic peaking is iconic

Ha haa!

He ear him bread

Really putting the mine in craft for Minecraft

reminds me of secret life EP 4 and scar is sweaty

*scar noises*

How did scar drop his phone???

Check your wrist? More like check your a- (tom cardy référence)

I love the way VR makes you hit stuff goofy

Can you run in game if you irl

(watch him die)

Haha he died

Why Jim is he sabotaging him

Jim Jim Jim gym gym

Doesn't Jim die here oh LMFAO he does

Jimmy you are famous to me

(scout voice) Chicken

How did scar die???

I love how vr makes them expressive Jim pointing to village house is so funny

There's only one bed

Wtf is happening in top right corner in 9min 30 sec

Ayyyyy there's grian the maniac love the casual position of the arms

Last life you can join me moment

Egg

Grian gaslighting

Jimmy you wanna dance quote of the year

PvP is so silly

Skizz is fighting a losing battle Jim killed him icon

I love how grian and Jim's yells overlap there's probably something music theory there idk

Awww scar he's so funny

Go pick him up from daycare haha

Facing away from the camera we live in a society

OHHHHH impulse big smart man Jimmy's arm movements are so smooth it's solly

Jimmy immediately leaving for fish cocomelon brain I agree

Love the arm movements

Lol they actually like down

It's okay grian scuffed is worth celebrating

Has anyone layed on their side

Friend just texted me about my monologue what am I doing man I have an audition tomorrow

Anyway Minecraft vr

The lying down model inventory so goofy

Rewatching the bread scene no wonder tumblr loves it looks like Jim jam actually has a mouth 👄

Impulsesv guess the build sheep flashbacks

Best sleepover

Polyamorous tony (died)

Sleepover reminds me of crazy Christmas w/gem and pearl

Grown men learn how to close doors

Minecraft fatshaming grian smh my head

Man thought it was more than Joel there + o2 max(xing) scar love it (i use maxxing ironically) (it's such a stupid suffix to me linguistically funny) (I hate incels) (don't cancel me tumblr) (I love all genders)

Two steps: die, and die

Jimmy isn't on fire??

Casual "it burns so much!" Love it

Wait right Jim still has a wooden sword

Joel Joel Joel Joel you know that one part in waiting for Godot where they just go back and forth in saying aideu yeah

So silly

Jim saying get in British people man

"noffing" - joel is it a British thing

Love Joel screaming he's so malding

Just remembered how scary heights are in VR because I thought for a second "why don't they jump down? are they stupid?" (Meme Reference) (Didn't actually think that) ("Stupid" is kinda stupid but I digress)

Hole

Boob stroke

Does scar enjoy the swimming

Why *does* swimming cause motion sickness anyway

Why bucket scar (this is a bucket)

Brain eating amoeba

GOON SQUAD!!!

Love Grian's arm movements I really did thonk Jim was gonna win for the funnies

He says come here weirdly

The joy of killing

Is Jim punching

It's okay hiking simulation

Go Jim go what a gamer boy

I remember the triple dog door dugout is like... Gem's? Joel's? Uhhhh I fotgor

Concussion era

Fresh meat

I just love their dynamics

JIM STOP SOUNDING LIKE THAT it's like his eyes are 🥺 and his mouth is boowomp spongebob like he's got tears in eyes scrimblo sounding ass

Ohhh there's my favourite theatre kids

'orrible

Joel saying boys make me happy

Wait that can misinterpreted

Joel saying "boys" sounds pleasant to my ears

I remember watching this part and going GRIAN FIRST OUT HUH???

awww the funnies

Love the way gem says "we're the last Grians. Grians? Greens!" It's like... Spunky

Grian falling reminds me of my scuffed keyboard when it registers a button press as a hold and then I like never stop walking right *sigh*

The downward spiral by nine inch nials

Ascending is TRUE watcher lore

Oh the music is so cute

Bye scar! Bye Joel!

Okay never let me liveblog cook again i kinda listened to the vid instead of watching reading this does not make sense to anyone but me reference hell half formulated thoughts RIP BOZO HAHA

Maybe I'll like do it in 5 mins chunks for JJJJJJoel and the next ones onward I spent like an hour on this wayyyyy too long for incomplete sentences

End

[idololivine]

are you still open for the ask meme? if so, yakumo!

yea!! ask memes are basically open until I forget I ever reblogged them in the first place.

First impression

Oh he's cute... is he going to be a bottom? [finds out he's a top] oh. okay

Bonus second impression: wow some of his fans are freaks (negative) (this was because someone left a comment on one of my super-early-fics that said "would you write one with yakumo?" and said nothing about the fic itself) (and also the subreddit had some noticeably poorly behaved yakumo fans) (I'm almost certain some or all of them were underage)

Impression now

housewife in the streets freaky in sheets this is peak character writing

It's a little strange, because on paper Yakumo has a lot of things I love in a character. And yet... I haven't latched onto him as hard as I have some of the others. I like him a lot, but I don't rotate him in my mind the same way. Or maybe it's more accurate to say that I know what he's about on a factual level, but I can't inhabit his mindset the same way, so I don't get him as much as I'd like to.

Favorite moment

I think any moment that reminds us/Eiden that Yakumo can talk to animals is really cute... Disney princess Yakumo...

Idea for a story

I think it'd be cute to write something with alpha Yakumo and his incessant need to Protect being channeled into feeding everyone all the time... I've written about it before here and here, but it'd be nice to make a more substantial oneshot out of the concept. But it's another one of those ideas where I have the concept but not the events that would actually occur.

Unpopular opinion

I can't say I pay too much attention to what opinions are popular or unpopular for Yakumo... but I do have some opinions about the tiny yet ardently vocal minority of Yakumo fans who are like. weirdly entitled. No, your blorbo is not uniquely deserving of getting more events than everyone else. Maybe have some soup and you'll calm down a little.

Favorite relationship

I know I previously said I'd disqualify Olivine for being an easy answer... but... the Pokemon starter trio. AKA Yakumo & Edmond & Olivine. They're so cute... They have tea parties......

Favorite headcanon

[rips my shirt open] TWO DICKS

Also someone brought up the possibility of Yakumo being a snake with mildly paralytic venom or even aphrodisiac venom and man. Ain't that something.

Also blepping to smell the air courtesy of murdertramp25's yakuoli fic

[annot8]

Realm of the elderlings ask meme thing

There's nothing I love more than ranking my favourite things! (I have not finished Assassin's Fate yet so things could maybe change)

Favourite Rote book: Royal Assassin

Why: This is the one that took me the longest to read. It paints Buckkeep so vividly, I felt like I was walking down its corridors alongside Fitz. Assassin's Apprentice serves to set up the story, and then by Assassin's Quest, everything has changed. And then, even when we get back to Buckkeep in Tawny Man, nothing is the same. Royal Assassin feels the most like home.

You've got Fitz bonding with Nighteyes, you've got Kettricken as Queen-in-Waiting alongside Verity, you've got an ailing King Shrewd, you've got peak sneaky old man Chade, you've got Patience and Lacey, you've got Fitz and the Fool becoming friends, you've got Burrich being a questionable but earnest parental figure, you've got the messiest teenage relationships, you've got political intrigue, and fun witted shenanigans, and all the things I love most about this series.

And the backdrop of the RedShip War is so compelling. It does what Piebalds don't do quite as well in Tawny Man. The threat lingers so heavily and is intertwined in everything that happens.

And it has one of the most well written endings I've ever read. The way everything comes together is insane. From Shrewd dying to Fitz being resurrected. His time in nighteyes' body is a masterpiece and an achievement of writing.

Top three favourite characters: Fitz, Beloved, Nighteyes (It feels wrong to not also mention Kettricken and Burrich here because I love them SO MUCH)

Top three least favourite characters: Dwalia, Ellik, Greft

Favourite ship of the floating kind: Paragon or Vivacia - I can't decide! You can't make me!

Top 3 ships of the people kind: Fitzloved, Alise x Leftrin, and Burrich x Chivalry x Patience - though also have a soft spot for Molly and Burrich.

Would you rather be witted or skilled: Being Skilled would probably be so much more practical, but Witted.

If you were witted, what animal would you bond with: a lazy little cat

Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six duchies, Bingtown, the Rain wilds, Kelsingra, Jamailia, the Pirate isles or Mercenia/Fool's homeland?: This feels like the wrong answer, but its the Six Duchies for me. The descriptions of Buck remind me so much of where I grew up in the cold by the sea. it feels familiar.

How were you introduced to the books: My mum!

Share a quote you love:

'Come, hunt with me, the invitation whispers in my heart. Leave the pain behind and let your life be your own again. There is a place where all time is now, and the choices are simple and always your own.

Wolves have no Kings.

-Royal Assassin, Epilogue

I think I've seen most of my mutuals do this. If you haven't, consider this me tagging you! and anyone else who wants to do it! xx

[sigmabateman]

thank you so much @velvetcrowbar444 for tagging me to talk about 5 things im obsessed with at the moment!!

this got longer than i anticipated so im putting it under the cut, but for simplicity's sake i'll tag people up here: @nights-decay, @boycentriccplot, @flaming-tsunami, @sourgelatin no pressure though of course!

persona 5... ok i have to be honest ive been really reluctant to talk about this on here and its why ive been quiet the past at least week or so. no idea why. i guess cause its so different from the stuff i usually post about that i feel like, embarrassed? but i started playing persona 5 royal around may and really liked it but i didnt have the time to properly get into it until now and it has completely taken over my life entirely without me even realising. to be honest i could obsess over like a rock on the ground if i saw it at the right time in my life but hands down persona 5 is one the best if not the best game ive ever played in my life. the story is engaging, the characters are distinctive and realistic and i really really care about all of them, the gameplay is so much fun and combat is buttery fucking smooth like nothing ive ever played before, the music is top tier and what got me interested in the game in the first place, and the ART DIRECTION. it speaks for itself to be honest ESPECIALLY compared to the older games. i was shocked starting persona 4 because of how different it is to persona 5 like, persona 5 has SUCH a distinct visual identity as well as tone, themes, imagery etc it is all just so stunning and perfect and i want to live in it. but i think about it so often like literally 24/7 that i may as well be. i <3 persona 5 and i <3 YUSUKE KITAGAWA. he's definitely my favourite character and he came out of NOWHERE but hes actually everything in the world to me. one of the characters ever.

persona 4 is it a copout to say that? i did try and condense both games into one bullet point but 1. they're such a mainstay in my life right now i was struggling to think of more points and 2. it kind of lost its precision and didn't effectively convey just how personapilled i am right now. i originally wasn't gonna play 4, all i knew is that it was more difficult and less good so i thought i should stay away. but if you go anywhere persona-related on the internet (which i would warn against, the fandom is a fucking cesspit the likes of which i havent seen in a long time as an obscure-shit-enjoyer) you'll quickly run into adachi. and as a lover of men with high-pitched voices and sexypedia entries... i couldn't stay away. before even starting the game i had made a d6 and d20 with different adachis on each face so really it was just a matter of time. and you know what... it's not that bad. the graphics were a SHOCKING step down but i find the low(er) poly style really charming. the adachi model is too cute T_T whenever i see it in the game world i just wanna sit with it for ages. i wonder if i could get it like 3d printed so i could keep him on my desk with me at all times... its bad for me ! the combat is fucking clunky espeically compared to 5 and i kind of hate it but that just makes it more rewarding when i can finally stop LOL. some of the characters (especially the main few (yosuke, chie, yukiko)) took a bit to grow on me but its kind of sweet.. its like authentic.. our relationship is growing as i get to know them better... but dojima and nanako ive loved since i first set eyes on them. too cute. it makes me feel so fatherless. its like.. a lot more magnetic than i expected it to be. i love it even with all its flaws. i saw a meme about it being like twin peaks and thats kind of so real. and you know i love a murder mystery... so yeah tldr i like persona now. but its hard to talk about it on here because it is such a big fandom but not like an active one like spiderman or like good omens or whatever slightly more normal people are watching so its kind of intimidating. maybe ill get over myself, maybe ill go silent for 3 months until i get into something new. we'll see i guess LOL

my gender identity TUMBLR MOMENT I KNOW but i dont know.. ive had a lot of time to myself recently and its kind of brought things to the surface that i just didnt have time or space to think about before. turns out there was a LOT OF STUFF i was repressing without even knowing. like that tweet 'im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn'. i posted on instagram "gender around cis people: boy, gender around trans people: girlboy, gender by myself: computer program" and that kind of sums it up i think. can i coin like.. complicatedgender. where your answer to the question "whats your gender?" is "it's complicated..." cause thats me. its just COMPLICATED okay!!!! but my pronouns havent changed or anything so its chilllllll

going to bed at a reasonable time. i phrased that like a joke answer but its true. i downloaded pokemon sleep and now i go to bed at 11:30pm cause at 11 i get a notification saying my pokemon are sleepy and shit i gotta take care of my pokemon!! i dont even know if its doing me any good to be honest like i dont feel much better when i wake up but making myself get into bed and shut my eyes means more thinking time and to be honest my favourite activity is thinking. even if as silly as it sounds i never give myself time to do it. its playing a weirdly big role in my life rn so yeah id say im obsessed with it!!!

this asmr video. im secretly always posting about asmr so really i could just say that, but like, ASMR | The Mortician (No Talking – You're Dead) specifically is such a mainstay i can feel its influence seeping into my life like an infection. this video would actually show up in my recommended for YEARS but i never watched it. gave me a major ick for some reason. but then i got into this guys stuff and saw it again and thought id give it a go and now its like an extra limb. fuck my 3rd bullet point, this is my gender identity. i could not articulate in words what it is about the mortician that i love so much, but i really really do. i am certifiably obsessed. cant believe i made it through this whole thing without mentioning alex. but there you are. yay this was fun :D

[darklove9314-blog]

You said that you like my ideas, so I'll bet on your greatest talent: HOT SEX 🔥😏🔥

My promt: Cassian noticing Nesta looking at his nipples (because I think that male nipples aren't appreciated enough 😌), and Cassian is more than happy to provoke her desires...

This meme works for both sides of Nessian!!!

Nesta's tits are always the protagonist and I think that her girls deserve a partner 😚 (I totally support the idea of Cassian giving nicknames to Nesta's tits 🤣🤣🤣)

Nesta's blue gray eyes fixated on Cassian, sweat glistening down his magnificent chest as she spotted his peaked nipples before he did another crunch, working his abdominal muscles as his hazel eyes met her own in a smirk.

"Having trouble concentrating, Archeron?" He asked with a smirk on his face as she jutted her chin up to meet his stare.

"Maybe if you owned a shirt that you actually trained in, I wouldn't have cause to be distracted." She purred grateful they had the training yard to themselves this afternoon so they could have a one on one training session. One that was proving to be rather distracting.

Ever since their mating ceremony had commenced and they had come out of their month long love making fest, Nesta still hadn't had enough of him. Every part of him drove her wild and she had figured out from Feyre that it wouldn't settle until they at least had one child.

Nesta shut her legs, trying hard to stop Cassian from scenting her arousal even though she knew it probably wouldn't help.

"Do you really want me to, Nes? Or did you maybe need help with your daily activities?" Cassian huffed out, Nesta glanced at him, at his form that she had tasted so many times, a form she wanted to continue to taste.

"I think I may need your assistance." Nesta breathed as Cassian got up from his position on the ground heading over to her making sure that he flexed his muscles for her on his way over. The way he knew drove her crazy for a taste of them.

He sunk down beside her, bracing his legs on either side of hers as he leaned her against his powerful chest, hands on her abdomen, pulling her closer to him.

"Comfortable?" Cassian asked her, placing his hands on her shoulders as she fought the urge to lean into him.

She nodded, relaxing into him a bit as he leaned closer to her,

"Just lean into me and we'll so some sit ups together." Cassian mused as Nesta felt him lean back taking them both down with him as he sat them back up, Nesta keeping his pace.

She felt herself loosen, her thoughts turning to more physical activities that they could be doing together as Cassian stopped, his breath heavy as Nesta noticed why he had stopped. Her scent.

He gripped her, hands running down her arms as his erection pressed into her back side, she knew they shouldn't , knew they had a rule about their training, but she was frenzied for more of him. And judging by how fast Cassian's own heart was beating, he was thinking the same.

"Just this once." Cassian prompted and it was all she needed as she turned towards him and their mouths collided, Nesta touching every bit of Cassian's chest that she could, circling his thumb around his nipple as she leaned down to take it in her mouth.

Cassian groaned pulling her closer as she switched from one side to the next, gently sucking on them as she felt Cassian strip her of the top of her leathers, her own breast peaking out as Cassian placed his chest on hers, rubbing both their chest together for friction as Nesta moaned into him.

"Like that?" He purred tracing his nipple with her own, laying her down on the ground as he pulled off the remainder of her leathers leaving her naked before him.

He towered over her wanting nothing more than to fuck her right there and then, to feel her moan underneath him in their sacred place.

His hands went to his leathers as Nesta surged forward, gently sucking on his nipple, lapping her tongue over one while gently biting it as the full force of his body pressed her to the floor, this woman…

Once he finally managed to get himself free of his leathers, Cassian sank into her, making her moan around his nipple as his hands cupped breast, gently massaging them as he thrusted up into her.

She switched to his other pec, running her hands down the confines of his muscles as he slipped further into her.

He knew he wouldn’t last long, knew that the image of her writhing underneath him in a place where anyone could come up and see them was too much for him to bare.

He felt his release surge through him,

“Nesta, I’m-“

She reached down, cupping his balls in a sign of encouragement as he felt himself release inside of her, some of it falling down her thighs as Nesta finally unlatched her lips from his nipples.

Cassian chuckled slightly, kissing the top of her head as he noticed the hickey she had placed there.

Cassian gently traced her mouth, bending down to her own nipple as he sucked on it hard enough to leave his own mark in her, a mischievous smirk crossing his lips,

“There.Now we match.”

Nesta smiled as Cassian helped her up, assisting her in getting dressed as she ran a gentle hand over his hickey,

“Those are rather magnificent,” she mused as Cassian smiled.

“And there all yours, for the rest of our eternity, Nesta Archeron.” He replied leaning down and pressing a kiss to his mate’s lips as he felt her smile underneath him.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 03/02/2024 (Megan Thee Stallion, Skepta, Justin Timberlake)

Noah Kahan’s at #1 with “Stick Season” for a fifth week, but lower down the chart, there’s a lot of nonsense going on, most of it involving female rappers. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with the notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75, which is what I cover, after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to “n.h.i.e.” by 21 Savage and Doja Cat, “Kool-Aid” by Bring Me the Horizon, “Strangers” AND “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi, “FTCU” by Nicki Minaj and “Disconnect” by Becky Hill and Chase & Status. Other than the last one, not really complaining much about these.

As for notable gains and returns, well, much of what’s of interest will come down to the new arrivals, and a lot of our gains are confined to within the top 40. Outside of that, we do see “When We Were Young (The Logical Song)” by David Guetta and Kim Petras back at #71 because that song refuses to have a coherent run. Then in the top 40, we see a lot of interesting pick-ups, some a bit surprising and most I’m also really not complaining about either, with “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #38, “Whatever” by Kygo and Ava Max at #27, “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party surging at #22 and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s higher given the album this week, “Praise Jah in the Moonlight” by YG Marley up big at #20 and again, there’s a movie coming out that could boost this even higher in the coming weeks. Other than that, we see “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone actually gaining off of the high debut last week at #11 and finally, Madonna gets her first top 10 since 2009 and Playboi Carti his first since, well, ever, as “Popular” with The Weeknd crawls its way to #10. I’m still surprised those two even have a song together.

Our top five should seem pretty standard: “yes, and?” by Ariana Grande loses steam at #5, “Lovin’ on Me” by Jack Harlow is steady at #4, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims is on a surprising run at #3, then we have “Murder on the Dancefloor” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor at #2 and of course Mr. Kahan at the very top. Like I said, it’s much more interesting down below, and that’s naturally what we’ll focus on today. Now… stay with me.

New Entries

#75 - “Think U the Shit (Fart)” - Ice Spice

Produced by RIOTUSA, Synthetic and venny

This song makes me feel so old. I’ve missed out on the Ice Spice craze entirely in the first place, but I’d also never seen this meme she was referencing, hadn’t heard the viral snippet of the song, this is just entirely beyond me. There’s a quirky, you could argue jazzy set of 80s-sounding keys but it’s quickly drowned out by a thrusting 808 and the reverb-drowned vocal take from Ice Spice that really shows the limitations of her and RIOTUSA, given how she goes for such a basic flow all the time, and this is actually the most energy she’s ever given a performance… which is depressing! She has to fill in blank space with constant, unbothered ad-libs and punching in, and RIOT has made such a minimal rhythm section for much of the song that he seems to actively switch into a more recognisable trap beat just so Ice Spice doesn’t sound painfully out of place. As for content, you’re joking, what is there to it? I’d complain about she rhymed “fighting” with “Saiyan” but pronounced both words as expected so it straight up doesn’t rhyme at all, but that’s definitely just an element of her troll persona or whatever. I don’t know, any detail I can pick apart just feels so nulled by the fact that, well, it’s an Ice Spice song called “Think U the Shit (Fart)”. It’s basically novelty, comedy rap. Why should I try?

#61 - “Not My Fault” - Reneé Rapp and Megan Thee Stallion

Produced by Ryan Tedder, Alexander 23, Jasper Harris and Jeff Richmond

Ah, Megan Thee Stallion, I’m sure this is the last time this week I will have to talk about them. Sigh, this is embarrassingly the one time where I can say I have actually seen the contemporary film attached to the soundtrack single, and this was tacked onto the credits sequence, with Megan making two pointless cameos within a fun Pixarification of the original Mean Girls that I don’t think I’d ever watch again, but was still a fun, harmless time in the cinema. Now because I’m lame, there are songs from the film proper I much prefer but I don’t expect them to chart because 1.) they’re much further embedded into the musical tradition and 2.) they’re not produced by Ryan Tedder. Believe me, I checked. As much as I’m convinced by Ms. Rapp as an actor, as a singer, she has a lot to prove, not really showing how capable she could be in translating those acting skills to developing a true character in songwriting and performance a lá Olivia Rodrigo. This is a bratty disco-pop song that acts as a bit of a mean girl anthem so to speak, but is completely toothless, including the kind of embarrassing Megan verse that will date the song even further than its dated-on-arrival concept, although I at least like the consistency of the references - she has been calling herself the “black Regina George” since 2017. The song overall is just a reflection of a semi-failed conglomerate project, it’s ephemeral and serves no purpose other than to end up being a time capsule one looks upon 20 years from now questioning what the zeitgeist was in 2024, much like how we now look at the original Mean Girls for 2004 which, by the way, is directly sampled in this song, instead of the same line from the new film… which makes me think they hadn’t even shot the film by the time this song was made. Keeping it professional, Paramount.

#56 - “Big Foot” - Nicki Minaj

Produced by Tate Kobang and ZellTooTrill

The worst thing about rap beef, to me, is that the newer diss, if released the same week, will probably debut lower than the catalyst diss - the cata-diss, if you will - so I have to review the songs in reverse chronological order. It just doesn’t make sense, does it? With that said, it seems like a stretch to describe this as a song, not because it’s so terribly awful or anything, though I do notice that the song’s quality - or lack thereof - and pure antagonism has made some Barbs jumped ship. It’s more so because this is just a verse that starts off in a bizarre, unhinged Roman flow and ends with ASMR. I do think I have a pretty “no-holds-barred” attitude when it comes to feuds in hip hop as long as it doesn’t escalate to violence, so it’s not like I’m offended by anything Nicki said here, even if it gets ruthless and almost needlessly so, but it does just appear a bit desperate, attention-baiting using the villain persona. That’s not new for Nicki though, and all rap beef is villainised attention-baiting, often with flow and song structure as mostly if not entirely irrelevant factors. Therefore, I really can’t review this one, and no, I’m not ducking from Barbs because Pink Friday 2 is one of the worst albums I have ever heard, and I have long criticised Nicki for having bad music on this series, this just can’t really be treated as such. Sure, there’s a Detroit trap beat behind it, but only for half of the song’s runtime, and given how rushed-together it sounds, it’s clearly not a priority. I don’t review Instagram Live videos from gossip merchants, and I fail to see how this, given that it rarely ever criticises Megan’s standing as a rapper or public figure, more just using the same accusations Remy Ma threw at Nicki on “ShETHER” with a new coat of paint, is worth analysing as a piece of popular music and not just a social media rant… which Nicki has given plenty of in the past week, it’s been bizarroworld on Twitter. I will indeed hold that same standard for Megan coming up as well.

#49 - “Grey” - Yung Filly

Produced by JuwonMix

Well, the vast majority of our debuts are from or involving rappers so it’s only fair that we have some UK representation this week, and… I’m not familiar with Yung Filly but I didn’t really expect an Afrobeats / dancehall track about how meaningless fame and success can be. To be honest, that seems like it’s mostly the subtext rather than the text, coming mostly in prominence in that melancholy chorus but the song definitely sounds like the colour of its title given the bouncy percussion not doing a great job at hiding the stray reggae chords or blasts of trumpet that seem to put a noir downer on the whole parade, especially considering his longing, monotone delivery that fits into a tight pocket but never actively, almost like he just slides into it and happens to be on the beat rather than any conscious effort to ride it. That’s not to say the vocals are smooth, or not good, they’re surprisingly emotive for an Auto-Tune crooner yet also somewhat staccato in places, it’s a nuanced performance. I don’t really have much left to say, it’s not exactly a complex song, but it’s honestly surprisingly good, would absolutely not mind if this stuck around.

#37 - “Selfish” - Justin Timberlake

Produced by Justin Timberlake, Louis Bell and Cirkut

No, you can’t get back from this. We all heard “Filthy” back in 2018. Whenever I think of Justin Timberlake, I don’t just think of the classics, “SexyBack”, “Cry Me a River”, “Suit and Tie”, *NSYNC, I think of “Filthy” and this will poison the well of Justin Timberlake discourse for as long as he continues to release music because no man should be able to release “Filthy” and stand untested. In fact, I don’t give a shit about this new song, let’s talk about “Filthy” because what is that?! Who starts off the rollout for their woodsy, back-to-basics country-pop album with a dramatic glam-rock curtain call diminishing itself into a squelchy “funk” (stretching the use of the word) coated with female moaning and wonky-influenced production that allows for Justin to just bring all his effortless swagger, right? Right? Oh, he’s just going to list off a bunch of 90s hip-hop references for some reason, as if that in his view emulates actually being cool and sexy. The lyrics are rife for analysis in their failure to succeed in just about anything other than make a fool out of the lead artist, and it is fascinating. The song ends with his wife delivering spoken word over ambient, for God’s sake. I respect it, though. I respect taking a risk - or 10 - in a lead single. I don’t respect calling up Post Malone’s production crew to get an easy white-boy pop hit, rejecting pretty much every element of your sound that people were drawn into, AKA Timbaland, Pharrell and Danja, just for the safety of your own flailing career. Justin, you’ve still got Mickey Mouse money left over, let alone the incredibly storied and successful career from then on, and that’s not including the Trolls cheques, which I can only imagine are insane. You do not need to do this, you really don’t. Have some dignity, Justin. You’re not The Kid LAROI. You’re a grown man. Do what you want to do, not what you feel you need to.

#32 - “Gas Me Up (Diligent)” - Skepta

Produced by Cardo and ThatGuyNamedJalen

You’re really under-selling yourself there, Jalen. Anyway, Skepta’s back and much like “Big Foot”, this is one long-form verse over a pretty standard, unmixed-sounding beat, making threats towards others, but there a few key differences that mean I’m a lot kinder to this: firstly, the cloud rap beat is thoroughly aquatic in its lead melody and even if I’d prefer the song keeps some of that underwater energy once the beat drops, the loud, cowbell-accentuated rhythm is still sick and Skepta rides it perfectly. He’s always been one of the smoothest rappers out of the UK, mostly because of how much he has become a student of American hip hop despite his grime origins, and here he shows those Stateside connections off with some of his best, least tacked-on singing performances yet but also a faster-paced blunt delivery for much of the verse that feels much more embedded into British flows and cadences. The content isn’t particularly intriguing for me at least, but the rhyme schemes are clean and his word choice seems very deliberate in order to present a very prestigious sounding set of bars. It’s not exactly Skepta’s best, and definitely not his most interesting, but it’s worth checking out regardless and I feel like he’s been laying low for a while so this seems like a promising comeback.

#31 - “HISS” - Megan Thee Stallion

Produced by LilJuMadeDaBeat, Bankroll Got It and Shawn “Source” Jarrett

Megan Thee Stallion is an independe nt artist nowadays, and her lead single with a switch in sound and massive video, “Cobra”, despite all the reach and pull that Megan has, the promo, the rock remix… it failed to chart in the top 75, a real shame because I think it’s excellent, and just unfortunate that drama and feuding is what lands Megan a top 40 debut. That’s not to say she wouldn’t have charted without Nicki’s free promo of the otherwise not really substantial song by causing such a fuss, but definitely not at #31. Now, there are elements of this song that make it much clearer that it was intended as a piece of music rather than a worthless gossip piece. Firstly, it came with a big video, it’s actually mixed with double-tracked vocals and a decent amount of care put into a still minimal Dirty South beat, as well as a consistent, catchy flow and aggressive delivery that I can appreciate. Even the spoken word elements are left to interludes instead of grand amounts of the song, and sometimes rhyme… but regardless, this is still not exactly introspective in any way, it’s not inward-looking, or even forward-looking really. It’s a hit-out at a lot of the unwarranted hatred that surrounds Megan or is directed towards her, but it’s still just her going through a hit-list of complaints and haters, keeping it relatively subliminal - as much as I don’t like “Big Foot”, at least she’s being upfront. This often feels like it could be about anyone, so the unloading of dirty laundry feels much more detached and therefore easy to stop caring about, and this isn’t just me avoiding making comments on the beef, I apply this same standard to, say, Doja Cat, whose song “Attention” and album Scarlet I complained about being too focused on her own drama, and I’ve held many similar grievances with male rappers like Jack Harlow and ESPECIALLY Kanye in the past. When you let out your problems with people on wax, hook me in first, don’t just assume I’m already listening.

Conclusion

What a week, huh? Yeah, Skepta gets Best of the Week, of course he does. “Gas Me Up (Diligent)” is probably the most realised song this week, even if generally, a lack of realisation and finishing touch seems to be a vague theme in this episode. It’s not the only good song though, Yung Filly takes the Honourable Mention for “Grey”, whilst Worst of the Week should be just as obvious as Skepta’s shoe-in was… no pun intended there. The Dishonourable Mention, of course, goes to Justin Timberlake for “Selfish” because, man, no one wants to hear this from you, JT. As for what’s on the horizon… who knows? That’s for future me to figure out. For now, thank you for reading and I know I keep saying this, but I may see you earlier than next week.

[spicyvampire]

2022 : a summary

Post your favorite or most popular edit from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months!)  

Tagged by @talays-portkey Thanks for the Tag!

January

Most Popular : [x] the Yok liking Dan in a very normal way

Favorite : [x] Yok skills gifset really was the start of an era, loved that insane guy and he was funny af, first time I was starting to make huge gifsets with little captions on them I think? ; [x] Y’all remember the raccoon meme? Man, I forgot I made that for Bad and Crazy but it was fun, and different from anything I’ve ever made because I tried to make it look like posters and yeah I like that

February

Most Popular : [x] Yok defending Dan in front of Sean, tbf this came out during a heartbreacking episode people needed a laugh

Favorite : [x] y’all remember Sean vs Yok who is the fastest gay alive? these guys were insane, also this inspired Vegas vs Kinn later that same year ; [x] Yok + Greek words for love, the amount of love I have in my heart for that boy isn’t even half the one he has in his for like everyone, he is just SO full of love

March

Most Popular : [x] Yok edition of who is the fastest gay alive, that bad boy took so long to make ugh glad people liked it

Favorite : [x] my danyok goodbye gifset using stucky quote ajgdhashdfgsh the purple looks great on computer ; [x] Live slug MoD reaction, it was just fun to do something MoD again

April

Most Popular : [x] Porsche not connecting the dots on Kinn homosexual activity, I just learned how to animate a gif and boy did I want to have fun with that

Apparently I gifed like almost nothing in april, it was exam period afterall

May

Most Popular : [x] Vegas vs Kinn, trying to find neon looking fonts and neon looking overlays was a pain in the ass but it was worth it, I hope I do that type of gifset vibes again soon  it was fun to make

Favorite : now it is very hard to chose my fave gifset there because it was the month I was doing Not Me Appreciation and I really like that I should probably try to do again but I really think those are my top 2 so here [x] Yok; [x] DanYok sunshine & Rain

June

Most Popular : [x] Pete’s BDSM duality, which is very surprising cuz I thought it was gonna be the [x] Family Braincells gifset seeing that people even requested that for the bodyguards afterwards but oh well

Favorite : [x] Vegas Hidding out Magazine which weirdly is one of my less popular KP gifset but I love it so much “pathetic is the new chic” like come on I literally peaked there, if I ever make shirts out of the one liners this one is gonna be the first one at for sure; [x] TanBunn relationship developements finally went back to my MoD roots for pride month MaxTul if you reading this pls come back 😔

July

Most Popular : [x] Porsche fear of ghosts, we love a little scared cat

Favorite : [x] KP goodbye gifset, truly the end of an era, I’m forever changed

August

Most Popular : [x] Shadowhunters edits that reminds me I have not gifed SH in months

Again I did nothing really that month

September

Most Popular : surprisingly the most popular gifset isn’t a KP one, it’s [x]  akkayan hoodie, 2nd is [x] PorschePete bitches stage tho so eh

Favorite :  so end of september & start of october was kpweek and boy did I come  there ready cuz I spend the entire month before doing like nothing and I  had all these pent up ideas,  I have so many favorites really I had fun with KPweek [x] Kinn [x] Pete [x] KinnPorsche

October

Most Popular : [x] Main and Minor family (minus the parents), that was one long boi wasn’t it

Favorite : [x] Ayan + Debbie’s monologue what can I say I just love the addams family and I rewatch the movies almost every year so I know a lot of these lines by heart; [x] KP Halloween cuz I forgot to put the side story in my Porsche fear of ghost gifset so Halloween gave me a reason to dedicate a gifset to it

November

Most Popular : [x] Cherry Magic, god the way I ran when it dropped on youtube oof

Favorite : [x] MoD 2 years anniversary gifset, cannot believe it’s been 2 years MaxTul WHERE are you 😭😔💔

December

Most Popular : [x] SamMon right in front of everyone salad

Favorite : December is exam month and this time I really tried to gif almost nothing till like the very end but shoot out to [x] Bodyguards braincells gifset

I think I did one of for 2021 too and it was fun going back through the stuff I did, a bunch of these I literally forgot I made last year so that’s why I wrote so much for a lot of them

Tagging (if you want to no pressure & also idk who has done this already sorry) : @luna-lina @winteams @kinnsporsche @thelaziestmotherfucker @fangrui @guzhu-furen @laowen @sunsetandthemoon @pavel-chekovs @liyazaki

[disco-tea]

I posted 3,546 times in 2022

That's 1,774 more posts than 2021!

985 posts created (28%)

2,561 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swinging-stars-from-satellites

@disco-tea

@candiliam328

@chasingfictions

@alittlemoretime

I tagged 3,436 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#buffy the vampire slayer - 913 posts

#spike - 394 posts

#dracula daily - 312 posts

#spuffy - 272 posts

#buffy summers - 138 posts

#dawn summers - 109 posts

#btvs imagine - 106 posts

#stranger things - 106 posts

#to keep - 99 posts

#btvs memes - 99 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#and it’s the way seeing dawn and buffy being a family even without memories makes spike’s brain go ‘wait where’s my familial affection’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Wait so they sealed Jonathan’s diary…y’all Mina isn’t getting the paprika recipe 😭

1,489 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

#4

No because I’m coming for the kneecaps of every filmmaker that looked at Lucy’s suffering—Lucy’s slow and painful suffering where she’s so scared and weak and confused and SICK—and said, hey that’s sexy we can make it sexier let’s make her sexier too while we’re at it

1,746 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#3

Funniest thing about Crimson Peak is that the ghosts are trying to help but they have the misfortune of being visually terrifying and unsightly so it constantly turns into the “WHY ARE YOU RUNNING??” vine

2,766 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#2

I’m so upset I’m so upset because we immortalize Renfield as Dracula’s bug-eating minion. Dracula’s faithful servant. But do you know what he did? HE DIED PROTECTING MINA. He was the only one protecting Mina at the time. He died trying to selflessly protect somebody because they were kind to him. Because they treated him like a person. Because he couldn’t stand the idea of them being slowly drained and killed. He physically fought Dracula and it cost him his life. And maybe it’s just because I don’t know my Dracula adaptations all that well…but I don’t think how Renfield actually dies is talked about enough. I don’t think it’s appreciated how, here is somebody who believed they could prolong their life by consuming other lives…but in the end he GAVE his life for another.

3,469 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Why would you do a bunch of storytelling gymnastics with the “oh Mina was Dracs wife in a past life” so you can invent a love story between them when Jonathan Harker is right there in the source material trekking through wolf-infested forests, half insane, just to get back to Mina. Jonathan is right there, trusting Mina with knowledge he doesn’t even remember himself. He’s right there, full of fury and rage, ready to cut Dracula in half and drag him to hell himself. All for Mina. He’s ready to become a vampire for Mina. Like it’s just insane to me we somehow as a culture decided that some musty creepy old dude was more attractive than a sweet charming guy with unhinged feral energy lurking just below the surface. Also he’s got white hair, a machete, trauma, and he might not be 100% Normal anymore. And you want me to root for the COUNT? The stalker guy with bad breath who doesn’t possess a single ounce of actual romanticism?

Like sorry, but there is nothing in Coppola’s Dracula that will ever be more romantic than Jonathan Harker holding Mina close despite her thinking she’s dangerous and tainted. Jonathan holding her, murder in his eyes while simultaneously having nothing but infinite tenderness in his hands as he ruffles her hair.

6,028 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hellokittysasuke]

I posted 5,287 times in 2022

That's 4,064 more posts than 2021!

69 posts created (1%)

5,218 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mettywiththenotes

@1rakus

@sasukechannel

@yugiohz

@sasubaeuchithot

I tagged 3,568 of my posts in 2022

Only 33% of my posts had no tags

#naruto - 1,187 posts

#sasuke - 594 posts

#jjk - 229 posts

#naruto & sasuke - 174 posts

#itachi - 159 posts

#sasukecor3 - 140 posts

#sausk4 - 134 posts

#orochimaru - 121 posts

#misc - 102 posts

#founders - 98 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i dont think its ever mentioned if the uchihas had their own traditional clan names but if they did this would mean sasuke doesnt have one

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

itachis narrative follows through at first, but falls apart if you inspect it. his story's actually quite inconsistent...

like only focusing on his treatment of sasuke, we are told he did it to make him stronger. but its all very vague and a flimsy excuse for the sheer agony and torture it caused to the brother he loved. his character or backstory didnt seem to be finalized when he was first introduced..

nevertheless i do love the 'actually he loved his brother' storyline. its very tragic. his canon actions offer a lot for interpretation...

i read a fic where itachi loved sasuke so much he killed the uchihas because he felt thy were trapping him and wanted to see sasuke fly. hmmmm*

possibilities...(the love can be twisted too)

i feel like all the anti itachi portay him as too...overly willing to kill his clan? (for the sake of konoha) wasnt danzos ultimatum (either every single uchiha dies at roots hands..or only sasuke will be spared if he does it himself) playing a major part in his decision??...

anyways kishimoto did end up creating one of the most iconic characters of anime/manga...

so im not complaining ...i dont think the uchiha storyline would be as memorable without the twist

*(i love pre reveal itachi and sasuke fics. the explanations they make for the massacre are always so interesting...)

21 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#4

lmao how itachi didnt even kill shisui, his best friend, but told sasuke to kill his to get the mangekyou sharingan.

what would he have done if sasuke had actually killed naruto (his best friend then) only to find out itachi lied about killing shisui for power

wow can you imagine how awkward that would be

37 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

#3

the sound era trio- orochimaru sasuke & kabuto are peak comedy potential

their dynamic is SO funny to me but theres barely any content around them??? hello??

like orochimaru with his weird fake politeness and sadistic amusement vs kabuto who cant stand sasuke (and vice versa) but he has to be nice bcs this angsty preteen is his masters next vessel vs sasuke whos just here power and really doesnt give a shit about the other two, except for when he wants to take out his teenage angst by bullying kabuto,

46 notes - Posted March 27, 2022

#2

47 notes - Posted May 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

it will forever baffle me, all those memes that paint sasuke as this dumb, idiotic character that knows nothing and is a selfish brat for wanting to kill his brother who loves him and power-obsessed for leaving to orochimaru, and then pretend itachi didnt have any part in that. that that was all sasuke, uninfluenced.

setting aside the question of (his intentions, if it made sense, what was a better alternative, was it morally justified etc.) its a fact that the one who made him that way was... itachi. he was the one who told him to hate him, to kill his best friend for the mangekyou sharingan, to grow stronger, to cling to hate and revenge, to come after him to kill him. 

he was the one who told him he lacks enough hate, called him weak, and repeatedly used tsukoyomi to make him relive the massacre and hate him, therefore want to grow stronger to kill him. he actively hid the truth and manipulated it to be that sasuke would never find out, even after death, he was the one who took the brush and painted himself a mindless villain, just to make him hate him. that was all itachi. that was what drove him to orochimaru, to leave konoha, to try and cut off naruto. 

sasuke wasnt somehow naturally that way, (on the contrary, he went after itachi right after seeing his parents bodies, stopped himself from killing naruto)- itachi had to constantly influence him to fester hate that way. it was literally all part of itachis plan! itachi’s!!! people just ignore that, fuck?

like i love itachis character too, i genuinely enjoy his and sasukes storyline. this is not an attack on his character. its just kind of irritating when people lift him up while putting sasuke down by like, exaggerating and making him out to be a pathetic spoilt brat of a character and pretend itachis the actual and only victim bcs how terrible to have a brother who you love but wants to kill you, somehow ignoring that itachi was the one who manipulated his brother? like yeah itachi was manipulated and under pressure too, but in terms of his and sasukes relationship he is the one who lied!!!

like i dont even care about his mistakes or whatever, i care abt sasuke being made out to be the "villain" in their dynamic

51 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[herelaymythoughts]

To All The Men I Thought I’d Loved/Maybe loved/maybe still love. And you.

Let’s begin with the first one. 

Jacob. Jake. “Jacket”. “Jac”. John Sabel IV. 

French and Chinese, adopted by German and Chinese parents. Hawaiian. Tall, athletic, gorgeous. Perfect teeth, lips full like the bolster pillows stacked in my yoga studio, my yoga studio where I took him once and he scoffed at the middle aged men being nice to him asking if he enjoyed the class. Jacob, the name of the original biblical snake. And a snake he was indeed. I fell in love with him one summer in Vancouver when he was going into his fifth year at the University of British Columbia and mine, third. I told him I loved him one night when he was sleeping over and for one reason or another threatened to leave. I hadn’t even loved him yet but I thought that I had to say it to make him stay. He said it back and I think he meant it. Broken, damaged love that it was, I think that he meant it. Actually falling in love with him took place over the course of several months and a lot of manipulation. Emotional manipulation to attach me to him, to make me feel like I needed him, to make me feel like I would be nothing without him. But I didn’t know that at the time and even two years after the break up I still uncover things he did in the relationship that deeply, unconsciously affect me to this day. I thought I loved him. I thought I loved him as recently as a week ago when I made him call me so that I could tell him that I want to be there for him because I “could only ever love him”. Maybe I do love him. Two years after the break up I’ve still not escaped his emotional manipulation. I want to say that I loved him, that I really did, but I really did not. And he didn’t love me. If I can just admit that, which I just have, if I could just admit that to myself but I couldn’t because that would have meant that I wasted all this time emotion and energy and that it wasn’t even love in the first place that caused the  suffering. Little did I know that love doesn’t cause suffering at all. But continuing to lie to myself and to delude myself has only continued hurting me much past the point it should. I didn’t love him and he didn’t love me. I can’t stop deluding myself and others. It’s abundantly clear to others and I have simply been lying to myself. Of course we had good times. And times when we were both deluded into thinking that we were in love but gosh, that’s not what love is. Gosh, we were not in love. I did not love him and he did not love me. Perhaps in the lacklustre way we had conceived love to be at 19 and 22 but god, we were not in love. Just lust.

Rob. Robert. Bobbert. Robert Arthur Rust. 

I told Rob that I loved him over Wechat messages five months since the last time we’d seen each other when I was in Vietnam on one of those cliche Southeast Asia trips. He is Norwegian and American and 6′4 and built like Poseidon. I met him one summer in Shanghai at a hole in the wall sake bar. My job then was to take care of a bunch of British interns and one week I told him that all the interns had the shits because of the food in Shanghai and we both had a good laugh about it. I asked him to go to Hong Kong with me and we kissed on top of Victoria Peak and god did I ever romanticize the shit out of that kiss. He was beautiful. Is beautiful. All the men I love or thought I’d loved are beautiful. All he gave me was uncertainty and that’s what made me so attracted to him because I’d equated uncertainty with love because of the way my mother was with me when I was young. After I told him that I loved him he said, “Why would you say that?”, and promptly rescinded the message over Wechat. I don’t remember what he sent in place of it. I bought him a Vietnamese Hawaiian shirt because I thought I might see him because he too was coming to Vietnam at some point. This was right before the pandemic hit. We just missed each other. He has good taste in memes. I don’t love him. I don’t even like him. I think I simply tolerate him because of how attractive I find him. And how good the dick was. It was goddamned good dick. Some of the best I’ve ever had. 

Zhaoqi. No nicknames with this one. Or maybe ZQ. 

I didn’t love Zhaoqi. I don’t know why I had to tell it to him to confuse him. Well, because I really believed that I did at some point. But again, there were parts of him I didn’t like, didn’t fully accept, and for some reason I thought that non acceptance and love could coexist. It doesn’t. I texted him that I love him and he asked, “in what way?”. Which I thought was an odd question to ask but actually totally valid. Actually another man I told I loved asked the same thing. I don’t know how to answer it. Like, I like you as a friend but I also want to fuck you? I don’t know why I put a question mark that’s really all it is. I guess it’s easy to see how I confused that with love. I have a lot of love for him dearly as a friend but I don’t love him. 

Robbe Pappen. 

Robbe and I met at a jazz bar in Chiang Mai. I got way too drunk and asked him to choke me on the side walk and to fuck me right then and there. Like the Belgian farm boy he is he refused and took me home like a gentleman and fucked me there. I didn’t remember much of it, just the bottles of beer that I spilled, the stupid joke about fish going “blu blu blu” as the reason for why the ocean is blue, but in terrible French. 

Pourquoi la mer est bleu?

Parce que les poissons comme “blue bleu bleu” 

He found it funny and congratulated me in telling a joke in French. He was so kind, so pure, so unscathed by the “blight of the world”, was how I put it in a longer piece I wrote about him. I thought I loved him and he’s definitely more grey area than any of the other guys. He was like a child to me, and I guess it’s hard to not love a child. 

Kabir Virji.

The one I traumatized the most. The one who talks to his therapist about me. The one I claimed to have, “power bottom energy”, when in fact he only likes girls. You couldn’t blame me, I went to his dorm and drew wings on his eyes in black and gold. The one who asked me if I was his girlfriend and I said no. The one who thought we would hook up again. The one whom I thought I loved the most. The one whom I’d hurt the most. The one I’m most sorry about ever telling him that I loved him too. The one who came home with me one night and told me that he loved me five times in one day and who slept on the floor with me during that weird floor sleeping phase of mine and the one who is my twin flame. And the one that I told to look up what borderline personality disorder was because I had it. The one I have the hardest time facing. 

Ben

Everything about you was everything bad for me.  

But I know better than to speak in superlatives. So many things about you were so bad for me. Your insecurity. Your indecisiveness. Your infidelity. Your wisdom. Your singular ability to help me understand myself. Your lust for me. My lust for you. But your insecurity, mostly. 

Santiago Perez

Santi and I had sex one night and the next day he told me that he wanted to be friends. I went home and asked him if he was attracted to me and he said, “as a friend” even though he was wiping the pre cum off his cock and ejaculated sub ten strokes. I saw who he truly was and then took molly the next day and was convinced that he was the first last and only person I’ll ever love. I wanted to help him even though I could barely help myself at that point. I know not to do molly alone again because of that. He told me not to tell anyone but I told everyone. You are part of my story and I need to use my friends’ emotional labour to help me unpack this. He’s definitely traumatized because of me but like Tingting suggested, I’ll just think of it as reparations for all the trauma women as a whole collectively endure from men. She called me “Lady Karma” that night and I’ve never loved a nickname more. He made me realize that I don’t actually hook up with my guy friends and then lose the guy friend, that I am the problem, that I am the one that abandons the friendship after hooking up and it’s bad, after hooking up and it doesn’t lead to more hooking up, after hooking up and it doesn’t lead to a relationship. But also that these men weren’t really my friends at all, that all the friends I thought I had were merely experiments I probed for the possibility of a partner. That I was, unequivocally, the fuckest of boys. 

And you. 

I hoped that I would love you before I did and I knew that I would. I loved you when I didn’t even love myself. “I love you” flowed out of my tongue like water out of a container too small to hold it. I will never forget your reaction when you heard me say it for the first time. Pure bewilderment, “Is this actually happening right now? Is this real life?”. I wish I had that moment recorded but all I’ve got is my foggy memory. We were both high as fuck and completely enamoured by what had just unfolded. “I love you TOO”. I can’t believe I found it this young. I know what love truly is because of you. And I don’t want to love anyone else and I don’t want to even have or be with anyone else I only want you. I’m sorry that I had to go around and fuck up all of these other people’s lives and my own before I truly knew that you are all that I would ever want but that’s the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You’re the only person that I want. It has been you. It has always been you. Perhaps because I saw you through the lens of somebody who also loved you that it had such a big imprint on me, but as soon as I saw you in that video of Claira’s I knew that you were going to be mine. I remember sitting in the water station in the trail behind my house grilling you about wanting to talk to me then never talking to me and you later saying that that’s when you knew that you had fucked up. I remember the first selfie you ever sent me, in your purple headphones with you chubby cheeks, god I love you so much and I have never felt this much love for anyone without being under the influence of drugs this is all just pure love for you baby. You’re the first man I’ve ever sent love letters to. My friend told me that a good measurement of love is whether or not you can spend a week in a cabin with them and from the start I’ve thought that my dream scenario would be just you and me in an apartment barely talking. And god, that tongue of yours. I love you so much. I only know love because of you. This isn’t chemically induced, it’s not hormonally induced, it’s not anything induced. It’s not divine, it’s vastly, vastly human, and it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. It’s so earthly and it’s not anything grand or intense or dramatic, it simply is. I could go on and on about how much I love you but you would want me to go to sleep. Sometime I doubt whether or not I love you because it’s not the love I know, because it’s not intense or passionate or paraded, but I know that you love me because you are so patient with me and you care about all the bullshit going on in my life when it serves no benefit to you. You give me so much of your time even though it’s the most valuable thing to you. I’ve been so blinded by “imposters, pretending to be, pretending to know”. That poem I wrote really is art, it came from the heart and it came from love. Maybe I do know a thing or two about love. Maybe I was right when I said that I don’t know much but I know that I love you. Maybe I do know that I love you. 

[dreemurr-skelememer]

an absolutely canon undertale picture from the good ol bird app today

[babytsum]

milkers - rollin'

based on this meme.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: nsfw, smut, drug use (weed), smoking, characters are high, breast worship, praise, oral (f receiving), face sitting, slight dacryphilia (if u squint), slight overstim

(a/n): it was a drabble, but i think i may have lost control

"god, this sucks."

you looked down to your chest, baggy shirt covering your upper body, but it doesn't hide the fact you feel can feel them weighing you down.

suna calls you at the most random times to smoke. during work, during class, just anytime. and if you were free, you would gladly come over, taking some time to put effort into your appearance. you didn't know exactly what prompts you to put on some eyeliner or change into a more flattering top before you head over, but it happens and you don't think much of it.

except for today.

he'd been calling at the wrong times, mostly because you had the willpower to study instead of smoke, but finally your free time aligned with his and you needed it. or maybe you just needed to see him. either way, you still rushed over with no regard to your appearance. what a mistake.

black smudges on your eyelid, no bra, little nubs peaking through the thin material of your shirt, you didn't look flattering at all. but it doesn't matter. you came here for the weed and the weed only, right?

"what's wrong?" rin frowns, taking in the sight of your tired self. for him, seeing you like this was nice to say the least. it seems as if you've gotten comfortable around him and it makes his heart beat a tad bit faster.

on the other hand, you were already feeling the effect of the nearly magical substance that was overcoming your senses and your judgement. your body felt light, almost lifted, and the stress from your exams was dissipating quickly. your mouth opens and your brain doesn't stop the words from coming out.

"i wish my boobs were smaller."

"oh?" his eyebrows were raised, a bewildered expression planted on his face. he took another hit of the joint pinched between his fingers, exhaling to the screen door of his window. you laid on the bed pouting and staring into the ceiling, "what makes you say that?"

"they just kind of look ugly, i guess," your hand came up to your breast, poking the squishy flesh over and over again and you laughed at the way it would jiggle with every small tap. rin, however, felt his pants becoming a little tight. he took a few steps closer to his bed and noticed how he can see more than just the shape of your nipple, but the dark brown color as well. and the way that a particularly hard poke made your breast wiggle a little more than usual. his lips were parted, but his hazy mind is able to gather a response.

"what do you mean ugly?" he asks curiously.

"i don't know," you sigh looking back down at your chest, "they move around too much. it's annoying."

he's puzzled. he's always loved a good pair of boobs, especially yours. rin can't lie to himself and insist that he's never looked before, especially with the flattering tops that sculpted out the shape perfectly. his train of thought is cloudy, and just like you, the filter has disappeared and now everything that comes out of his mouth flows out like a waterfall.

"i like them," he mindlessly states, "i can show you how much, too."

you sit up on his bed, turning your head towards his direction. when did he get so close? he was already leaning down, faces inches from yours, his hot breath fanning over your face, a smirk planted on his lips. you felt small under his gaze, but he wasn't looking at your face.

"then show me, coward." you giggle, brushing it off as a joke. he's close, but he's not serious, right?

you were deadly mistaken.

you were deadly mistaken and you know it when he gently pushes you down onto his mattress, hands making their way under your baggy shirt while he kisses from your stomach back up. "no bra, huh?" an unintelligible word leaves his mouth when your nipple is pinched between his fingers and you're sensitive. you're sure you can feel every single nerve and it all shoots to your core.

he urges you to take your shirt off and you oblige, struggling a bit at first, but he helps because he's nice. rin is nice. he lets you in his room, lets you smoke his weed, lets you lay on his bed while he sucks on your tits.

"fuck, you're so pretty, baby."

you're not sure what exactly feels so good about this, but the small praises that you barely register that come from his mouth everytime he comes up, the vibration of his groans that wrack throughout your body, the hand that kneads the neglected side of your chest. it's all so intoxicating. the sight of his red eyes and his mouth suckling on the wet nub is enough to make your slick to leak through your panties.

his eyes are half lidded, but he maintains eye contact and it's one of the most erotic sights you've seen. he drools all over your breasts, leaving teasing open mouthed kisses, taking one of the little, brown nubs in his mouth. he suckles gently at first and you let out a moan until he works his way up to a soft bite. you barely, just barely, register the pain, but he's making you feel so good and you need more. "i can't believe you wouldn't like these pretty tits," he mumbles, his mouth barely a centimeter away from your chest, "love tasting them."

so your hands tangle in the hair on the back of his head, desperately bringing his mouth closer to your chest because you need more. you need to feel his tongue circle around your sensitive nipple. rin doesn't mind. in fact, he thinks he's enjoying this more than he should be. he's rubbing himself onto the mattress, and though he's fully clothed, this might be one of the hottest ways he has ever gotten off. it's the whimpers that spill from your lips, the nearly whispered mumbles of "more, more, more", and the droopy look of your smudged eyes that do it for him.

when you look at him with heated cheeks and half lidded red eyes that match with his, he creams in his pants and moans loud and clear, letting go of your nipple with a small pop.

when he tries to stand up to change his pants, you flip him over, legs straddling his crotch, his back flat against the bed. his eyes are wide and your cunt is puffy at the image of him underneath you. your hands rest on both sides of his face and he can feel the blood rushing to his groin once again. you lean down, bringing your lips close to his ear.

"thanks, rin."

he groans when you grind your clothed cunt over his hardening cock, your hands tugging at his shirt which is eventually thrown away somewhere in the room. your jeans and soaking underwear are quickly discarded. the friction shoots through your core, but his hands grab your hips, stopping your movement.

"what-" rin doesn't let you finish, quickly pulling your lower body closer to his face. the sudden repositioning makes you squeal and before you can process it, his arms are hooked under your thighs and he's blowing onto your bare cunt. your breath is caught somewhere in your throat and he immediately takes your bundle of nerves in his mouth, sucking gently. your hands grip on the headboard, knuckles turning white.

if it weren't for the fact his mouth was preoccupied at the moment, he would be smirking at the small whimpers that fill the room. the wet muscle circles around your clit before he sucks at it again and you clench around nothing, eyes rolling to the back of your head. your back is arching and it only encourages him to bury his face further into your drooling cunt. his tongue fucks into your entrance, curling deliciously and your hips grind onto his face as you unconsciously search for more friction. though, he doesn't let you do it again, his arms locking your position on his face.

you look cute, he thinks when he's looking above, eyes half lidded. small tears are forming from the corner of your eyes, one hand squeezing your breast, two fingers pinching your nipple, a hand gripping his headboard in desperation for some stability. you taste like candy and he drinks up your slick like a starved man. your head is thrown back and it urges him to pull you up a little more and tighten the grip his arm has on your legs.

"c-cumming now, r-rin," you struggle to form coherent words, your mind is still cloudy and you feel weightless on his pretty face. one particular curl of his tongue hits the spot that sends you reeling into a sense of euphoria, hot pleasure overcoming your senses as your thigh shakes. he laps at your cute, little cunny, attempting to prolong the feeling as much as possible.

it's too much.

and you consider getting off his face, but he locks your position once again. one more, he thinks. he can get out one more. so he keeps on going, sucking and licking without mercy. the lewd squelching sounds he makes with his mouth push you closer and closer to the edge while the cute noises you make shoots to his cock. you're not sure you want him to stop, but when he's back on suckling your little nub with his soft lips, your mind goes blank. and your walls are pulsating around nothing as you cream all over his face.

he finally lets you off, your naked body covered in a layer of sweat, your overstimulated cunny back on the wet spot of his grey sweats. the lower half of his face is covered in your juices. it drips down his chin and you immediately pull his head towards yours, both of you melting into a deep kiss. you can taste yourself on his mouth and your hands palm his hardened cock.

"let me take care of you, rin."

taglist: @nvthvlyy @rintaoreo​ @shinyaluv​

[normal-thoughts-official]

Why was Lorenzo such a jealous bitch nd why does this fandom treat him like he's a good person😑

okay so i know that this is a rethorical question but i've actually thought about this a lot so i'll take my crack at answering this - WHY is lorenzo such a jealous bitch?

the only thing he's said about why he hates magnus - that i remember of, at least - is the line "he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. his fame is not based on talent, it's all nepotism"

now, anyone who knows anything at all about magnus knows that not a single fucking word of this is true. magnus was born poor in a recently colonized country under a lot of oppression, there was no damn silver spoon in his mouth, and after that he was thoroughly abused by his demon father. his fame is also absolutely based on talent - he invented portals, for fuck's sake! and the "nepotism" comment barely makes sense. i assume he means it's just that magnus' power is all due to the fact that his father is demon royalty, which makes magnus more powerful than most warlocks

so, that explains what lorenzo is jealous of - magnus' power and prestige among warlocks (such as having been HWoB for decades) - but not what the fuck lorenzo's deal is (i mean, we've met plenty of other warlocks in the show, many of which weren't really fans of magnus, but no one other than lorenzo has this idea that magnus doesn't deserve his fame), or why magnus (because while like, yes, magnus is very powerful, i assume he's not the only son of a prince of hell, considering asmodeus is not the only prince of hell and these guys get on the loose, like, weekly. and lorenzo is obviously OBSESSED with him, he deliberately went out of his way and abused his power as HWoB several times specifically to antagonize him, and also, you know, TRIED TO KILL HIM)

lorenzo talks about magnus almost as if magnus took something from him. it's not just that magnus is powerful and that he supposedly doesn't deserve it, lorenzo obviously feels as if antagonizing magnus is some sort of vengeance. i know plenty of jealous people, but going as far as forbidding anyone other than himself from giving magnus a magic transfusion, specifically saying that if it went wrong he wouldn't help, and then refusing to take back the magic when he KNEW perfectly well that would kill him, is to me very obviously a thought out plan TO kill magnus. lorenzo had been hoping from the start that magnus' body would reject his magic and the transfusion would kill him - why else would he specifically say, the second he agreed to the transfusion, that if it went wrong magnus would be on his own?

and it's not like lorenzo even gains anything from that, other than killing magnus. and humiliating him, which lorenzo has said explicitly was something he wanted to do (i believe the term he used was "breaking his spirit", but potato potatoh). if it was about magnus' position of power, he already had that - lorenzo literally already had the HWoB position. if it was about magnus' magic, he had already lost it. lorenzo had absolutely NOTHING to gain from magnus, so his personal vendetta against him doesn't even make sense from JUST a jealousy standpoint. he had already "won" over magnus. the only explanation is that he wanted some kind of revenge

but revenge from what? well, we know that magnus and lorenzo don't like each other, but magnus never really TOOK anything from lorenzo. considering how he wouldn't miss an opportunity to talk about how much he hated him, i think lorenzo would have brought it up if that had been the case. and magnus is just not the kind of person to pull the rug from under other people's feet - look no further than the whole show for evidence of that. he literally puts the others above himself at all times (which is unhealthy but that's another story and something i've talked about plenty of times already)

so why does lorenzo feel so much resentment towards magnus? why does he act as if magnus' power took something that was rightfully his?

i think lorenzo feels that he was entitled to be the most powerful, to have the most prestige, to be above magnus, and he resented magnus because that was simply not true

why?

let's go back to the only thing we know about lorenzo's backstory - the baby painting. yes, it's a huge meme, but think about that for a second. lorenzo has a huge ass painting of himself as a baby that he displays proudly in his home and that's, like, his #1 stop at the house tour. the baby painting. "needless to say, being born in spain during the siglo de oro was quite the experience". is the first thing he said

let's make this abundantly clear: this line makes it canon that lorenzo is a colonizer. the siglo de oro ("golden century" in spanish) started (roughly) in 1492, year of the """""discovery""""" of the americas, and ended (roughly) in 1659, the year when spain signed a treaty and lost a bunch of their territories to france (link to source). altho the term is usually used to refer to the boom of the arts in spain, it's obvious, just from these historical landmarks, that the siglo de oro is about colonization. it's about the fact that at the time spain was at its peak colonial power, and could afford to exploit what later became third world countries, and put part of that money (in fact, the literal gold they were stealing from latin american countries) into arts and other luxuries (because in the renaissance portraits were a luxury item and a symbol of status - link to source) for the ultra rich that benefited from colonization

so, lorenzo is not only a colonizer, but he's a part of the elite. the fact that his family could afford to have a painting of him as a BABY (portraits were almost exclusively adult portraits, and usually of the whole family, unless you were even richer than the rich. and even then individual portraits were usually to celebrate important achievements such as a marriage or acquisition of state - a baby being born doesn't qualify, especially because at the time most babies died not long after birth anyway), and a HUGE painting on top of that, shows that they were just. loaded in an incomprehensible way. im talking jeff bezos level of riches. they were the elite of the biggest colonial empire of their century. so, ironically, lorenzo was born with a silver spoon in his mouth - everything that he had, he was born having, and he specifically had because it was being stolen due to a dramatically violent process of genocide and slavery, that he believed to be entitled to simply because he was born a spaniard/white. that is all canon, because in the shverse mundane history is the same as in real life. EVERYONE who was born in the colonial elites was taught that they were entitled to shit from other countries, that they were superior not only to other ppls but also to their own people - let's not forget that this was way before the advent of republics, those were monarchies. the ppl who were part of the elite straight up believed they were superior to others by virtue of god

"woah woah woah but lorenzo is played by javier muñoz who's brown" yeah, which is unfortunate, but he is still canonically a colonizer. first off, because it's not like they wanted someone to be lorenzo and were looking for brown people - they were looking for someone javier could play because he's a bigshot broadway actor who was also a fan of the show, and then they picked lorenzo. probably because the sh showrunners don't fucking know the difference between a latino and a spaniard. or maybe they do, but they thought, "eh, close enough". either way, lorenzo is a spaniard, and he was born a colonizer - ergo, he is white, regardless of what race his actor is, regardless of even what he looks like. there are plenty of white spaniards with similar skin tones to lorenzo, because what today is spain used to be a territory occupied by middle eastern ppl, and there was mixing. what makes whiteness is not skin tone, it's context, and the context of being a literal colonizer directly benefitting of the oppression of black and brown people is as white as it gets

so, to recap: lorenzo was born a white colonizer, and he was RAISED believing that everything he had, he was entitled to. he was entitled to it by virtue of god, because he was born a part of the rich elite in the richest colonial power in the world, and he had access to everything he could possibly want. and he wasn't just entitled to riches and power - which he still has, look at his fucking mansion, dude - but specifically to superiority to his peers. especially black and brown people, the source of his riches, the people who owe him the wealth he takes from them

and then he joins the warlock world, and not only is he not royalty (because presumably he is the son of a regular demon, not too high up in the hierarchy) but some brown guy is. and this guy is in a position of power over him (high warlock) and he is better than him (at magic, specifically, but also at everything including being a human being, but lorenzo doesn't care about that). and lorenzo is fucking livid, because he believes himself to be entitled to be the best, entitled to be treated as a superior, entitled to admiration and to servitude, especially from people like magnus (let's not forget that the philippines - colonized by spain during the siglo de oro - are right next to indonesia [link]). instead, magnus is, politically speaking, his superior

and it's not like it even means much because the high warlock position is implied to be kind of like, the mayor, and it's not like magnus ever abused his power (unlike some people - and sidenote, i think this backstory is also why lorenzo was so comfortable using his power to antagonize magnus: because he was raised in a context where political power was pretty much boundless and politics and the personal feelings of the ruler were not separated). so in practice its really just that if lorenzo had a problem, he could go to magnus, and if magnus made a decision that referred to all warlocks, lorenzo was supposed to follow it. it's nowhere near like, actual subservience. but it's way too much for someone who was raised to be entitled to the level that lorenzo was

so that's why he has this feeling that magnus took something from him - because in his head, everything magnus has, lorenzo should be entitled to. because in his head, any and all power rightfully belongs to him, and if magnus has it, then it has been stolen. and that might not even be conscious of his part or whatever, altho i doubt lorenzo doesn't think in explicitly racist terms at least in private, but that had been ingrained into his head for centuries on end. if it's still ingrained into the heads of white spaniards born TODAY, imagine one who was actually born at the fucking height of racist exploitation

so. yeah. that's why lorenzo is such a jealous bitch. that's why he hates magnus so much - because he feels that magnus having anything at all lorenzo doesn't is theft, and ironically, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but believes that he earnt what he has whereas magnus didn't. it's not just jealousy, it's a profound feeling of racist vendetta, and i'm sure the sh writers didn't mean it that way, they were just writing a big villain to bring malec together, but death of the author, baby! and this explanation actually makes sense without having to change anything in canon, so, i feel very comfortable saying that's why lorenzo behaves the way he does

THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT THE BOOKS

[batwritings]

Hello Bat, I have another story idea. It won't be nsfw like my last one though. I hope you still enjoy.

Anyways ghost hunters!

Dream didn't believe in ghosts. They were a horror movie plot and that was it. Every bump in the night could be explained by something. The wind, and old house settling, maybe a light night critter stumbling around. Even the really convincing footage he would explain away, trick of the light. It became a game for George and Sapnap to try and convince Dream there was spirits in the after life. It was a month after George moved to Florida officially that the first ghost hunt happened. To avoid showing his face Dream controlled the camera, George had the spirit box and Sapnap had the emf reader. It was some old abandoned hospital still open for "ghost hunting" adventures. The tall streamer just scuffed at his friends and went through the building. Nothing happened. The other two jumped and screamed at every little sound though, which Dream had found hysterical. The video was edited and posted on their shared channel. It got a lot of likes and comments, which inspired Sapnap to set up another ghostly slumber party. This time somewhere genuinely spooky. Or at least so he thought. George whimpered at any unusual sounds and clung to Sapnap while Dream strolled ahead of them. He screamed memes into empty rooms of the abandoned school hallways. This time though was different. A phone rang out in response to his last call making the two smaller friends jump looking every which way for the sound. Dream paused and listened. It rang again and he turned heading straight for the sound at top speed. The two whined as they followed. The air shifting in temp the closer they got. The dirty blonde burst into a vacant room, the only thing inside was a teacher desk with an old rotary phone off the base. It rang one last time when George and Sapnap finally caught up with him. Dream picked it up and inspected it. It was still connected to the wall, holding it up to his head and said hello into the receiver. George hissed at him to stop. Sapnap held tight to the Brit, holding his breath. When the door slammed behind him the Texan screamed and hid his face in George's slim shoulder, clinging tightly.

Dream just rolled his eyes setting the phone back on the base and moving to open the door. It didn't budge. Huffing the taller man walked to the other door that was still open and stepped out into the hallway. No one was around. His best friend scurried after him and he stalked down the halls. The flash light of the camera started to flicker before going out completely. Sapnap stumbled with his own flash light trying to turn it on again to no avail. Suddenly Sapnap screamed jumping into Dreams arms mumbling about something touching him. George also collapsed against the taller man whimpering about being to scared. Dream just huffed and snatched the light from Sapnap, shaking it until it turned on again. Down the hall something moved out of sight which made George basically crawl into his best friends back and told him to run. Getting fed up with all the bullshit Dream, pushed Sapnap and George off of him and moved to the nearest exit. He called them babies the entire trip home. This video was edited by Sapnap and George as they voice overed some of the reviewed video evidence. It took three days to convince Dream to actually let them upload it. He swore he wouldn't do another "ghost video" ever again. That was until Halloween rolled around and Karl came to visit. George, Sapnap, and Karl begged dream to come with them on one final investigation. The bribe was the other three had to do whatever Dream wanted them to do while on the hunt for the paranormal.

Handcuffs. He couldn't stop his wheezing laughter as he handcuffed himself to George and Sapnap with Karl. They split up too with walkie talkies to keep in touch. Karl had a camera while sapnap had the spirit box. Dream had a camera and George had emf. They took two separate wings of the old jailhouse. 5 minutes into the "investigation" Dream locked George in a cell and slipped off his cuff. He was nice enough to leave the screaming Brit a flashlight before sneaking off to scare Sapnap and Karl. What he wasn't expecting to find was the two already locked in a cell and half clothed. They jumped apart as far as they could when Dream asked them what they were doing. Well worth it. He promised they could edit out what was going on in the video before I locking the door for them. When they made it back to George the shortest man huffed ending the call he was in with quackity to bitch about his asshole of a friend.

They continue around the building until daylight started to peak through the old broken windows. Nothing happened except for some practical jokes. They went home. When the reviewed the video several unexplained things could be spotted. None of which convinced Dream. The video was edited and posted the next day. The stans went nuts over Sapnap and Karls dynamic and yelled at Dream for leaving George all alone. They did a Q&A stream about it. Dream was silent for most of it. He did end up making it up to George by getting him a new camera for his streaming set up.

It was almost 3 months later when they dragged the faceless streamer into another stupid ghost hunt. Karl had come to visit his boyfriend Sapnap for the 5 time in the last few months. Jimmy had reached out to the rest of the Dream team and suggested a massive ghost hunt. So that's what they did. The most ghost evidence each team got would win 50k. Not really interested in winning Dream just kinda wondered the halls, jump scaring other teams. George show as his teammate giggled behind him. When they got down to the old cellar they noticed no one was brave enough to check it. George huddled closer to his taller friend bumping into him with how close he crowded . Loud pipes, old vents and creaky floorboards above them were the old sounds they had though. Eventually they turned back to head back upstairs and got lost. For a good 20 minutes. George whined in a panicked voice about not messing around and Dream just grumbled that he knew how to get out and kept stumbling through the spaces. Eventually they came to a head end. George gave his best friend a look, that screamed he was not impressed. The taller man just groaned and gestured the shorter to lead the way. 15 minutes of stumbling around and still no stairs up. Cursing George slumped against a wall dusting spiderwebs from his arms.

They waited for a few minutes in silence, they both tried to reach their friends via text but their phones had no signal. Leaning his head on Dreams shoulder George signed defeated. They waited a little longer. And loud this made the Brit jump clasping his hands in Dream's. Lacing their fingers together the dirty blonde rested his head on top of Georges whispering how he would protect his friend.

It took the group 2 hours to find Dream and George. The two emerged from the basement still holding hands. Chaneler and Chris won by two "encounters". George and Dream went home hand in hand.

It was never told what happened down in the basement, Dream claimed his camera died. But he and George didn't take long to tell everyone about their new relationship. All because of some stupid ghost hunts.

Okay. I hope that was okay. I haven't slept much. Have a good day bat!

📷

aaaaaa Camera you've outdone yourself again! this is so cute aaaaa I love it!! I kinda wanna write something where Dream gets actually spooked into believing in ghosts now hahaha.

[aj-artjunkyard]

Batfam musical headcanons

Dick:

instrument wise? Nothing, the man couldn’t tap out a tune on the piano if his life depended on it but boy that doesn’t stop him from trying

Sometimes the more musically inclined of the family will try to teach him a simple tune or beat to play in the background of a musical video they’re recording, but he’ll always forget the notes in 5 seconds and just improv when he feels it, it always sounds terrible but he’s having a blast 

Can sing though. Oh man can he sing

Doesn’t mean he sings anything other than Disney Princess songs tho 

If you were to ask me for a voice reference, I’d say Thomas Sanders

He has quite a wide vocal range but he’s better on higher notes

He sings quietly or under his breath most of the time, but then he’ll get to a line he’s confident on and he’ll belt it out at full volume

Sometimes a random line will ring out across the manor and it will 100% be Dick’s voice singing I Can Go The Distance from Hercules 

Doesn’t remember half the lyrics 

This still doesn’t stop him 

Remember that scene at the start of Spiderverse where Miles is singing ‘Sunflower’, but only knows half the words, muttering the rest and getting REALLY into the parts he knows? Yeh that’s Dick

plays a KILLER kazoo solo

no he doesn't but it does annoy everyone in a 10 mile radius so there’s an major upside here

Jason:

This man has a breathtaking bass singing voice 

He claims he has never and will never sing in front of anyone, but sometimes when he’s in a rare good mood, he’ll mess around with his siblings in the music room and end up singing sea shanties with Tim and Dick (and sometimes Duke if he’s not too shy)

This is Jason, Dick and Tim. Damian is recording

Sings exclusively Hamilton, but his real talent in singing isn’t in the rapping area he just loves that musical 

Secret Theatre Nerd™

Famed for roping Tim and Duke into musicals; exclusively Dear Evan Hanson, Hamilton, Heathers and Les Misérables

One day Dick and Jason tease Duke out his shell enough to preform this with them

Would sing to himself in his safe houses and while ripping down the road on his motorcycle at top speeds

Not much of an instrument guy, but could tap out a piano tune or a drum beat if someone needed it

Keyword here being *could* bc he CAN but he WON’T

Even if someone managed to loop him into doing a backing beat for a tiktok or smthn he most definitely wouldn’t remember how to do it 30 minutes later

He claims his mind is too crammed with actually important information to remember a dumb piano tune for more than 10 minutes 

Tim:

Can carry a tune, but prefers the instrumental side of music 

He’s a tenor and sings higher than Dick, but Dick has a wider vocal range and if he wanted to, Dick could hit high notes Tim couldn’t dream of. Tim just doesn’t have the same range

But he’s fantastic at instruments 

He plays a wide range due to his private lessons back at Drake Manor, including but not limited to: Piano, saxophone, drums, cello, clarinet, acoustic guitar, trombone and the triangle 

Can Timothy Drake play incredibly difficult classical pieces on almost any instrument with ease and move the listeners to tears? Yes. Will he? No. Because the only tunes you will ever catch Timothy Drake playing is exclusively meme music

If it’s a sound on TikTok, this child can play it double time guaranteed

I’m talking the Mii theme, the Subway Surfers theme, Axel F, Wet Hands, you name it

K I lied he sometimes plays fantastic renditions of pop songs or movie scores 

He also likes joining in on those “adding an *instrument* solo to a song that does not need an *instrument* solo” TikToks

This child makes quality TikToks

His acc has a great following bc has such a vast variety of content and its all peak. It ranges from music to music memes to family shenanigans to academic memes to whatever was in his mind that day

He has a sparse posting schedule but when he does post its always worth the wait

ANYWAYS back on track

Tim will 100% play saxophone on top volume outside Damian’s bedroom when the kid is annoying him

Sometimes Jason joins in but he plays his chosen instrument horrifically just to annoy Damian more 

Jason and Tim do this

ok its time for my favourite boy

Damian:

Damian isn’t a singer. He refuses to ever sing in front of anyone, and he’s got the whole ‘boys’ tween voice’ thing going on too, and though he’ll probably have the capacity to be a great singer when he’s older, he won’t ever sing enough for many to find out

Instruments on the other hand,,,,

Damian does his little “*tt* I don’t care for the music, I play because it quickens reaction time and helps improve my memory and hand-eye coordination” and everyone’s just “sure Dami, thats why you were playing Merry-Go-Round of Life on repeat at 4am”

He likes orchestral and classical music, he’ll often play the song over the speakers in the music room and play along on his chosen instrument

He considers that genre more impressive for a musician instead of the pop rubbish Tim plays

He was taught violin by his mother back in Nanda Parbat, and it’s still his go-to favourite instrument, but he’s been teaching himself every other instrument in the music room

He uses music as a release, because he’s finally starting to get that violence isn’t always the acceptable release like it was back in the League and Dick and Bruce are so happy to see him start to understand this and get hobbies that aren’t related to work

When he gets older his taste in music expands to more electric guitar and drum heavy songs, but right now he’s still a bratty rich child and not an angsty teen

Jason is the one who introduced teen Damian to TØP, MCR, P!ATD and BMTH and now they jam together at excruciating volumes, screaming lyrics and wildly strumming on bass and electric guitar and banging on the drums and everyone would gladly slap Jason if not for the soundproof walls in the music room

Bruce:

Bruce used to be classically trained in a few instruments but he just didn’t care enough to continue them into his teen years so he just kinda forgot them

He regrets it now, seeing all his talented kids bonding over music and thinking that it probably would be been better for him to have a hobby when he was younger 

On one rare night he has the manor to himself, so he sits down at one of his grand pianos and tries to remember one of the tunes he was taught. Alfred hears his woeful attempts and starts to teach him some easy tunes

They do this every time they have the manor to themselves 

Bruce finally masters a song and he’s really pleased with himself Alfred is just so proud of his son,,,,

[rubyfall]

it's the WAY that is the most unfair meme ever because where do i even start with your portrayals and how much i adore them SO we are going with my top three as of late that i am enjoying seeing you explore a lot on my dash: edith!!! legit know nothing about crimson peak but you've got a way of writing her that captures gothic horror and mystery LIKE I KNOW WHAT SHES DABBLING IN... without ever watching SO champion of vibes and personality as always // also have lately gotten to know ur renee better and i adore her,,, so so much you have given her an edge , and your writing style is so specifically tailored to YOUR version of how she conducts herself which is chefs kiss love the pacing between her thoughts and feelings in our threads // lastly giving it up for miss eimile !!! the way you have fleshed her out over the last few months i have gotten to see myself and you did NOT hold back i'm endlessly impressed with your detailed ideas and the devotion you give her my personal favourite thing about her is the variation of inspo you've accumulated to create a stunning funny and loveable character who is both relatable and admirable .... anyways this has been the longest kiss of my life

HOW’S  MY  DRIVING  ?   (   soccer  mom  mini-van  edition   )

I DID NOT ASK FOR YOU TO WAX POETIC AND WRITE ME AN ESSAY THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INSANE OF YOU !!!   daily i talk about how your creative mind literally drives this site forward.  i kid you not i have never once seen a stale take or portrayal from you ever and it motivates me so much to keep pushing the envelope with my muses.  we were talking about this only a few days ago but it stuns me every time i remember we only met a little over a year ago because you really were the catalyst in terms of jumpstarting my writing again.  i was in a horrible rut and then...   there you were.   we just clicked instantly and i feel like you’ve done nothing but push me towards better content since.   you make me endlessly annoyed and cause me great suffering with our plots but ultimately you have brought so much of the best of me out and i will never tire of your incredible artistry and intelligence.   i am simply glad to have crossed paths with you and i am constantly in awe of how you tolerate my nonsense and somehow enjoy keeping me around.   I LOVE YOU LONG TIME 💗💗💗💗💗