#because the people in that tag need to lighten up. and also accept the fact that she’s gonna fucking kill someone guys please see reality.

[kayzero]

mahiru fuCKING DIED

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐻𝐸

𝙿𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙾𝙽𝙴

𝘿𝘼𝙍𝙆!𝘽𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙔 𝘽𝘼𝙍𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍 | 𝙈𝙊𝘽!𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙓 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬: Your life is as good as it gets. The perfect husband, the perfect daughter, the perfect job. But what you are unaware is that your husband is a deadly assassin and your long-lost friend, now a fearsome mob boss is hell bent on getting you back. But what you don’t know can't hurt you, right?

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦: psychological disorder, PTSD, domestic abuse, yandere, obsession, violence, cursing. If you find any of this triggering please DNI. Also inform me if I left something out.

ᴛʜɪs ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅ, sᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍɪsᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴀʀᴇ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ

Oh, lawd! i have to post everything again! Send me all your energy. If you wanna be tagged, just inform me!

Also, I’ll be changing the story by a little, (or by a lot, idk) from my previous version.

You were feeling like John Travolta from the music video of Stayin’ Alive. Vibing to your own rhythm, living your own freedom. Attending college miles away from your hometown, you were the captain of your ship. Though you loved your parents more than anything, you were glad for the freedom granted upon you.

Your Freshmen year had just begun and you had already made a few friends. But what you didn’t want to accept just yet was your crush on one of them, Bucky. With his steely blue eyes and boyish charm, even a goddess might fall for him, and you were just a mortal. You were simply happy with being friends as you believed he would never like you and well, a little crush never hurt nobody.  

Completing your shift in a local bookstore, just outside the campus, you were walking back, lost in your own thoughts. What caught your attention was a group of howling high schoolers; from the look of it, they were barely a year to two younger than you. A group of tall and popular kids were bullying a skinny, helpless dude; ufff the usual cliché you thought to yourself. What you failed to notice though was his bleeding nose.  

You were a kind soul, always helping others, but you were no fool. All alone in an unknown town, you weren't going to confront the burly teens who were twice your own size. After giggling and cracking some stupid jokes on the poor dude trying to impress a girl, they left him and that’s when you noticed all the blood. You quickly crossed the road and walked towards him. He seemed smaller than he was as he was crouching down and trying to rub all the blood.

“Hey! Pinch your nose, don’t disturb it by rubbing.” you said while bending down. “Uhh, okay... thanks!” he looked at you with big doe eyes and you were utterly mesmerized by the blue oceans he had for his eyes. “Do you.. Do you need something else kid? Where do you live?” you asked giving him a candy and your water bottle. “I’m no kid!” he exclaimed and you flinched.  

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. You are helping me and here I am shouting at you.” You could clearly see remorse in his eyes and you wondered why would someone hurt him? “yeah, yeah.. It's Okay... now have this candy, the sugar will help you feel better.” you said with a soft smile. “thank you so much... and by the way I live two streets across. I mean I can go by myself, I'm a grown-up.. But...” he trailed off and you helped him get up.

“I’m Steve” he tried his best to smile and you followed by sharing your own name. And with that his chatter train began, he explained that he was just trying to help another girl getting bullied, when the bullies decided to change their target and chase Steve instead.

“you should wear your own mask first and then help others wear theirs.” you quipped and instantly bit your tongue. “Hmm, what?” he asked genuinely curious. “what I meant is that you did what is correct and very brave, but sometimes you gotta think for yourself too. But these are just my thoughts.” you shrugged. “I’ll remember that.” he said with a genuine expression. And after a million thank yous he finally went in his house. By the size of his house, he seemed rich and you wondered maybe this wasn't that cliché.  

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

The next day, you were walking back the same road, when you thought of Steve. He really was a kind and sweet person. This world needed more of people like him. And just then you saw him smiling brightly and waving at you, his nose bandaged. He had a huge box in his hand.

“Heyyyyy! Thank you for helping me yesterday. So I just... kinda got this as a ... a token of appreciation. I considered you might like donuts, so I got you this.” He said rubbing his nape. His cheeks had become so red he looked like a ripe tomato. “well, if you haven’t already given me diabetes by saying so many thank yous, after eating sooo many donuts I’ll surely get it.” At that you both chuckled and the atmosphere became lighter. As you picked a donut, he looked at you with such admiration you thought you would melt then and there.

Suddenly with a stern expression you asked “what if it’s drugged?” His eyes widened and he stuttered, “I... I would never do that ...” he looked down and you thought he might cry. “hey waittt.. don’t get so sad.. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I was just joking. I have this really bad habit of saying things when I shouldn’t. God I just ruined everything.” You just made a mental note not to joke around him, he seemed to be quite emotional. Though it was going to be difficult to tame your tongue. “don’t be. I just take things too literally.... anyway let’s have some donuts what say?” He said with such shine in his eyes you wondered whether he was sad just a moment before.

You both walked up to your university campus, munching on donuts. You both shared things about yourselves. You told him how you were passionate in becoming a doctor. He on the other hand talked about his struggles in studying. “will you help me? You are so smart and bright, will you help me study if I have a doubt or something?” he asked giving his big doe eyes.

You weren’t going to agree at first, you had just met him a day ago. But after looking in those calm blue pools of his eyes you agreed. Seeing the joy on his face, you wondered whether he just won an Oscar.

What you didn’t know was that Steve had already fallen in love with you, yes love, he was convinced that you were the one for him, his one true love. Not a moment had he been able to think of anything but you since he had met you. You were everything he needed and wanted and much more. He was simply desperate to spend more time with you.

☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎☮︎︎

It had been around six months since you met Steve. Over the time you two had turned out to be best friends. While Steve had fallen even more in love with you, you had fallen hopelessly in love with bucky. While you always told bucky about Steve and vice versa, you never confessed to Steve about your love for Bucky, thus furthermore increasing his hopes. You desperately wished to make Steve and Bucky meet. They were two important people in your life and you more than anything wished that they got together well.  

Today was the day when you decided to arrange a small meet and greet at the park where you and Steve met every day. You and Bucky walked together towards the tree where you usually sat with Steve waiting there for you. You knew both would like each other, but somewhere deep within your gut you were getting a not-so good feeling about this.  

Steve’s eyes lit up seeing you but as they turned to Bucky, it felt as if all the energy had been sucked out of him. You didn’t like that one bit. “Bucky!?” Steve exclaimed in half disappointment and half fear. “You both... you both know each other?” you ask bewildered. You tried chuckling to lighten the mood but by the looks of it they were sworn enemies, but you prayed that you were wrong. “yeah, we know each other a little too well... Uh... We were good friends once.” Steve quietly admitted.

All this time Bucky had his jaw clenched, dragging in a deep breath he began. “I knew it! I knew it would be you, you little fucker! You want to have everything don’t you? Goddammit! I had this feeling it was you but I thought it was too much of a coincidence, but no. fate had to be so cruel.” you were shocked to see Bucky's sudden outburst. You wondered what conspired between the two, as either hadn’t ever mentioned the other.  

You were snapped out of your thoughts with Bucky calling your name. “let’s go. I don’t want to see him even for a minute more and neither do you.” Bucky started pulling your hand but you stopped him “Bucky no. I guess you have some misunderstanding; Steve is a good person. And you don’t get to tell me who to talk to and who to not.”

Suddenly Bucky turned back to Steve, anger written all over his face. “You didn’t tell her, huh, did you? Don’t worry I'll tell her. Steve is the son of Joseph Rogers and he is the freaking Don Corleone of this area. Do you know how my father died? Steve’s father had him killed just because unknowingly he provided shelter to his father’s fugitive. Steve just pretends to be a caring, emotional person but he is a snake behind that mask, so is everyone in his family.” towards the end Bucky was in tears and you were in utter shock. Now that you tried to remember, Steve never really did tell you much about his family. And the fact that Steve wasn’t denying any single allegation made you want to puke your guts out.

“You have taken too much from me. But not this. Not her. Not the woman I love more than anything.” Bucky said it out loud in the heat of the moment. You were too dumbstruck to even blink. Did Bucky just confess that he loved you?  

Bucky turned to you and held your arm with such softness you wondered if he was just now screaming his lungs out at Steve. “I know I can't tell you who to be with, and I promise I never will in the future, but trust me you want to be caught up with him or his family. And still, if you choose him, well then, I can’t be with you.”

You knew you had to make a choice then and there, there was no going back, and you chose Bucky.

[eldritchqueerture]

Hello! This is a project for @summer-in-the-archives-event that I worked on with @horizonindigo! We came up with the idea together and based our individual works around the poem I wrote, included in the fic. You can find their absolutely amazing art here!!

I freaking loved working on this one and I got more and more excited as we progressed. I also surprised myself with the poem itself a bit, definitely didn’t expect it to end up quite as cool, if I may say so myself. It was incredibly fun to write.

Big shoutout to @sunflowers-and-frogs for beta reading, I love you bestie <3

I would like to thank all the mods that made this event possible! It’s my first time taking part in anything like this and it was really, really fun, so THANK YOU <3 Love you guys :3 Anyways, enough of my rambling kdfjgkjsdfg

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: M/M Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Relationship: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical The Lonely Content (The Magnus Archives), Kissing, Excessive Tea-Making, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives), Poetry, Love Confessions Warnings: self-esteem issues, typical Lonely content, discussions of free-will and determinism, graphic kiss

Summary: As Martin fights the remnants of the Lonely's influence on their ride to Daisy's safehouse in Scotland, he focuses on his feelings for Jon to keep him tethered to reality. He watches Jon be himself in the safety of the cottage, share these small intimacies of domesticity and the words come to him as a poem weaves itself into the pages of his notebook...

He feels the taste of salt in his mouth, as he looks out of the car window at the rapidly falling away landscape, covered in the darkness of the night. He feels Jon’s presence next to him, focused on driving but glancing every so often at him with concern. Martin feels like he should say something, somehow fill the silence that has befallen them, but no words ever find their way to his mouth. He stays quiet, watching the trees pass them by, trying to ignore the anxious churning in his stomach. He’s always been pretty good at filling awkward silences with chatter; at least before the Lonely. Now… he can’t help but feel bothered by Jon’s presence, even though he did all of this for him, even though this is what he’s wanted all this time; it’s like a splinter, prickling at his mind, almost causing him physical discomfort. He swallows and feels the salty taste on his tongue; he discards the thoughts and tries his best to breathe through the discomfort, instead focusing on the sensation of Jon’s warm hand on his.

Martin used to be the warm one; he’d always been generating heat and his mind goes back to the early days in the Archives when the basement was cold in the winter and both Tim and Sasha used to gravitate towards him with their respective cups of tea during breaks. Now his whole body is cold, the chill of the ocean breeze and fog having settled in his bones so deep he thinks he’ll never feel warm again. The thought isn’t sparking any emotions in him though. It’s just a thing that he’s learned to accept, just as the fact that he’ll always be alo—

“Do you want me to put on some music?” Jon asks with another one of his glances. Every time, he raises his eyebrows a bit, and tilts his head to the side; Martin expects the concern in his eyes, but he sees something else there as well. He’s been afraid to put a label to the expression for the fear he’s reading him wrong, but the bolder part of his mind tells him it’s fondness.

Jon’s hand is warm, and his thumb grazes the skin of his palm just a little, as if not sure he’s allowed to. Martin looks down at their hands and feels warmth spark in his stomach; he smiles.

“I’m sorry I’m—I’m not really good at the whole, uh… small talk thing,” Jon adds with a flush, turning his head back to the road. “I should probably be talking about something, though, to, uh… to keep you here. I suppose.” He visibly cringes at his words.

“It’s—It’s fine, Jon,” Martin chuckles, and Jon relaxes, fixing him with a quick smile of his own. “I’m just… you know.” He looks down at their hands again and has a brief feeling they belong to someone else. Not him. Never him. “I’m not quite… out of that. Yet.”

Another look of concern. Martin feels heat prickling at his cheeks and he’s a little bit glad, because at least it’s a feeling. He interlaces their fingers and looks out the front window.

They spend the ride in relative silence. Jon tries a couple more times to start small talk and fails; they stop at a gas station at one point and Martin takes out his notebook when Jon disappears inside the station to pay for gas. He flicks through it and his eyes stop at an unfinished draft; he started writing it shortly before Peter took him down to the Panopticon, but he’d only managed to get a few first lines down. Despite still feeling the cold in his bones and his mind being clouded by the remains of the fog, words come to him, and he starts scribbling. He continues to do so even when Jon comes back with tea and an assortment of snacks, blushing just a little bit when Jon shoots a curious look at the notebook. He doesn’t ask and Martin is thankful for it. He’s not the sort to show his drafts to anyone, especially to the subject he’s writing about.

It’s 1am when they arrive at the cottage; they’re both exhausted and they quickly take their bags inside and lock the door. The cottage is small and practical, just Daisy’s style; it’s also quite dusty from months of abandonment. Martin yawns as he opens one of the bags to get the essentials. They should leave unpacking and cleaning for the next day.

He hears Jon’s footsteps on the wooden floor coming back from the initial run of the house and he turns to tell him that, but the somewhat sheepish look on his face stops him in his tracks. Has he ever seen Jon look sheepish before?

“So, uh, obviously this was Daisy’s safehouse when she was, well… Avoiding people,” he says, not meeting Martin’s eyes.

“I hope ‘avoiding people’ doesn’t mean killing them in this context,” Martin snorts, not sure if he’s entirely joking. The humour is lost on Jon, however, as he looks at him confused for a moment before he processes Martin’s words.

“Oh, no, no, I-I don’t believe she, uh… She just slept here.” Jon shifts awkwardly. “And that means there’s uh, there’s only one bed.”

Martin’s eyes widen and his lips form a little “Oh”.

“Of course, if you’re not comfortable with sharing, I can just take the couch, you need some proper rest and I’m used to running on low sleep” —Jon averts his gaze as he speaks. He grabs his bag and walks over to the couch, and Martin wants to stop him talking and just say that they should share the bed, but his voice seems to have left him at this crucial moment. He just stares as Jon places the bag on the couch and looks back at him, aware of the silence. “Martin?”

Martin swallows, a familiar cold freezing his toes. He feels the damp sand underneath his bare feet and a chill runs down his spine. He blinks and tightens his grip on the bag he’s been holding. This is real, he is real, Jon is real.

“You need good rest too,” he finally manages to say, and he’s surprised by how clear and normal his voice sounds; it makes Jon relax a bit. “We should share the bed, if-if you are comfortable with that.”

A small smile appears on Jon’s lips and a warm feeling fills Martin’s stomach again; he knows the smile is for him.

“Okay,” he says softly and picks the bag up.

They manage to keep the awkwardness of it to the minimum; they’re both very tired and at one point it just doesn’t matter anymore. Jon hands Martin a separate blanket and he pushes the disappointment down into a void inside him where he keeps feelings to come back to when he’s alone. It would be foolish of him to hope for cuddling since they haven’t talked about anything yet.

He expects to fall asleep as soon as his head touches the pillow, but he finds himself awake in the darkness after goodnights are said (Jon’s voice sounds so soft and tender Martin has forgotten all about his earlier disappointment). He’s laying on his back, eyes closed, and he feels Jon’s presence on his right. His breathing is steady, not yet slow enough to indicate sleep, but calm and relaxed. Martin peeks out through half-lidded eyes – he hasn’t gotten used to the darkness as much yet, but he can see Jon laying on his side, facing him, his eyes closed and his hair loosely framing his face. One of his hands rests close to his head on the pillow. Martin blinks, fully opening his eyes now and smiling softly. As his vision clears, Martin notices Jon frowning ever so slightly, and he wonders if the faint lines between his eyebrows smoothen when he’s asleep.

“Is watching people sleep a usual activity for you?” Jon whispers with amusement as he opens his eyes and Martin gasps with surprise and looks away, feeling heat prickle at his cheeks.

“Wha—uh, no! No, of course no—Sorry, I—” He rambles, and he thinks he might just die from embarrassment when he hears Jon laugh quietly.

“It’s fine, Martin.” He shakes his head with a sigh. “Really. I-- Sorry, I thought a joke would, um… lighten the mood somewhat.”

Martin risks a look at him and wonders if the red on his cheeks is visible through the darkness. Jon looks at him with that expression again, something Martin would very much want to classify as fondness if it didn’t feel so impossible. But now that he thinks about it… Would it really be thatfar-fetched? Jon had gone into the Lonely just to get him out. Would he have done that for anyone else? Martin rolls his eyes at himself in his mind, of course he would. He did go into the Buried, and it was for Daisy, a person who has threatened him multiple times, kidnapped and almost killed him. If Jon was ready to lay down his life for her, out of all of them, it shouldn’t be surprising he would do the same for his assistant; it says nothing about his feelings on the matter.

Martin’s memories of the Lonely are hazy. He remembers the cold, the dampness, and the loneliness. He remembers his thoughts, the lonely ones, and how they felt both alien and familiar at the same time. He remembers the comfort, the feeling of fitting in, but also the pain and the fear, just before they were numbed by the cold and the fog that made him forget. And then suddenly, Jon was in front of him, looking at him with desperation on his face, tears in his eyes glowing with a green light. Was it Jon calling for him, or just the Beholding?

“What are you thinking about?” comes Jon’s voice and Martin realizes he’s been staring into the air for a while. He blinks and looks back at Jon.

“Uh…” He searches for words before he gives up on trying to come up with an excuse. His voice is quiet when he speaks. “Why did you do it?”

Jon blinks at him a couple times and rises to lean on his elbow, to better look at Martin.

“What do you mean?”

“The Lonely,” Martin says, not meeting his eyes. Jon is wearing a blue t-shirt with a logo of a band Martin doesn’t recognize; the shirt is loose and it uncovers one of Jon's shoulders which would probably be distracting if Martin’s mind wasn't chilled by the remnants of the fog. “Why did you come for me?”

Even without looking at him, Martin sees Jon’s forehead ripple. A while passes as Jon searches his face and the thought that he shouldn’t have asked starts creeping up to Martin’s head. Shouldn’t have brought any attention to the subject, he should just be glad, he should—

“I care about you, Martin,” Jon says in a very gentle and quiet voice, like he’s afraid anything louder would take away the meaning of his words. Martin looks up at Jon and the hint of that intense blush from before makes it back to his face. “You’re… You matter to me. You will always matter to me.”

Martin can’t stop a small smile appearing on his face and Jon mirrors it.

“Thank you,” Martin whispers, feeling a warmth settle in his chest, finally driving the cold away.

“Anytime.” Jon lays his head back down and settles back with the right hand near his face. “Sleep well, Martin.”

Martin closes his eyes contentedly and he curls up on his right side, facing Jon, as if trying to keep this warm feeling from escaping his chest too soon.

“You too, Jon.”

---

Martin wakes up alone in an unfamiliar bed, the smell of foreign covers filling his nostrils and for a second he panics. He opens his eyes and the memories come back to him; their late arrival at the safehouse and laying down to sleep next to Jon.

He sits up, looking at the space Jon had occupied. It’s vacant now, just the curled up covers he left behind, but it manages to bring a blush to Martin’s cheeks, nonetheless. It feels so… intimate to know that they slept next to each other. It makes him feel warm and cosy.

Martin gets up and goes to the bathroom before he finds Jon in the kitchen. He’s humming quietly as he finishes cleaning the table and he looks up when Martin enters.

“Good morning, Martin.” He smiles and Martin’s afraid he’s going to melt. He takes a quick look around and notices that their sparse kitchen supplies are mostly unpacked, and the kettle is already on the stove.

“How long have you been awake?” He asks; some of the shock must have made it to his voice because Jon looks amused.

“Two hours or so. I’ve always been a morning person.” He shrugs and finishes cleaning the table. “Tea?”

A smile lights up Martin’s face and he gets swept up by the familiarity of the activity, while Jon busies himself with fixing up some breakfast. As both of them work in the kitchen, Martin notices the casual brushes of their skin and touches of the shoulders. He doesn’t know if he’s doing it consciously or if it just happens naturally, but he knows that Jon’s open demeanour is drawing him closer than before. He wonders if he’s been like this ever since he woke up from the coma, and there was just no one to appreciate it.

The morning is relaxed, the casual conversation flowing a lot smoother than the day before, and after breakfast they set out to clean the whole cottage and go down to the village to buy some actual supplies. The village is small, but the local shop provides all the essentials they need; for a moment Martin forgets about everything outside of that village and shopping for groceries with Jon, as if this is their life now, in the Scottish Highlands, living together in a cottage. They talk about cooking dinner, and the cows they passed on the way, and Martin thinks he could get used to that.

The bubble bursts when they finish up and Jon decides to call Basira. She picks up after a while and updates them on the absence of both Jonah Magnus and Daisy. Basira says she’ll send some statements up to them when the Institute stops being an active crime scene, and a shadow passes over Jon’s face. Wrapped up in a conversation about their taste in dinner dishes, it was almost too easy for Martin to forget food isn’t the only sustenance Jon needs. He finds it easier to forget things ever since the Lonely. They walk back to their cottage in silence, Martin grabbing Jon’s hand as soon as he lets go of the phone.

When they get back, Jon declares he’s going to take care of unpacking and cooking, and even though Martin knows Jon to be stupidly stubborn, he’s surprised by the strictness with which Jon insists he sit back and relax. Martin doesn’t really complain; he’s spent his entire life caring for others and, to be honest, it does feel rather good to be on the receiving end for once. He watches Jon from the couch for a while, before he takes out his notebook and looks over the poem he wrote in the car.

Wisps of mist conceal my eyes

A lone indulgence to lose one's face

And soothing a part inside that cries

With chilling sadness and numbing grace

The steadfast rhythm of waves ashore

As ocean breeze leaves a taste of salt

The words forgotten, erase what I swore

Until I hear your voice once more

I wondered many times what it might be

That we finally took to calling "us"

What would be left if we broke free

Of dread and horror's eternal grasp

The Eye looms aloft, ever-present dread

Watching all, eternal lids apart

You made your choice unaware you were led

By strings of web, against your heart

Jon starts humming under his nose in the kitchen as he cuts something on the board; the water in the kettle boils slowly and fills the air with a quiet whistle. Martin smiles while shooting a subtle glance at Jon; he seems to notice his gaze and falls quiet, but a smile lights up his face when he sees the fondness on Martin’s face. For all this talk about Jon “losing himself” in the role of the Archivist, this seems as human as you can get. Martin never favoured the approach the other archival staff took to the knowledge of the significance of Jon’s position, and he often wondered how they could look at him and see a monster. Of course he made bad decisions, but so did everyone. They’ve seen or read about so many avatars giving into the powers that fed them and yes, maybe Martin is biased, but Jon was nothing like them. They’ve all been caught in this huge web of statements that turned real; the more they struggled to break free the more tangled up they became, and it wasn’t Jon’s fault that he ended up in the centre of it. He knows Jon tried to make right choices every step of the way. Can you really blame a human being for failing to completely resist something that’s beyond mortality and human reality? One way or another they ended up here, together, and yes, maybe the Eye and the Lonely are still looming as very tangible threats, and Jonah Magnus is nowhere near being stopped, but at least they’re together now. Martin remembers thinking the Unknowing was the endgame, the last chapter of this horror for them, and he remembers the hopelessness of their story getting a bad ending that essentially pushed him into the Lonely; now he feels a different kind of an end approaching – he dares to be hopeful. Maybe everything works out in the end? Maybe, if they were safe and happy, it wouldn’t actually be the end of the world.

Martin looks down at his notebook and starts writing, sticking the tip of his tongue out in concentration.

What is a monster? Where is the line

That would separate us from the world

All I know is our paths align

And we together can battle the cold

You cut through the curtains of mist and See

The green glow fades when our eyes meet

My lips form a soft and quiet plea

To be loved has never felt so sweet

To be loved is a new feeling for me

I only know how to love from one side

But with you I hope we can once be free

Maybe ignore the whims of the tide

Although I know we're not nearly through

I taste and savour your voice, your breath

If only for a moment, we can start anew

And I will follow you even to death

As he stares at the last word of the finished poem, his hand with the pen hovering over it, he registers that his eyes have watered a bit. He blinks the tears away quickly as Jon sits down on the couch next to him, looking at him with a gentle worry. Martin looks up at the two mugs of tea he’d placed on the table.

“Did you make tea?” He asks with mock bewilderment, and Jon scoffs at him.

“I know how to make tea, Martin.” He nudges him with amusement, that gentle worry not quite gone from his eyes. “What are you writing about?”

Martin falls quiet, pressing the notebook to his chest in a knee-jerk reaction.

“Thought you didn’t like poetry,” he huffs out a laugh that’s only a little bit self-conscious. Jon shrugs, reaching out for his mug and taking a sip.

“I don’t understand it. And yes, I have been known to dislike it at times, but… Maybe I could be swayed to give it another shot.” Jon rolls his eyes fondly and looks at Martin out of the corner of his eye, a look that says ‘for you’. Martin grins, heat pricking at his cheeks once again.

“You see, i-it’s all about emotion.” He places the notebook gently on his lap face down and reaches for his own mug. “You w-want to put all of your emotions into words in a-an artistic way, that has a rhythm and, uh, and feels alive. And you want your, uh, your readers to feel that, that emotion through your words.”

Jon listens attentively and his eyes aren’t leaving Martin’s face; at one point Martin gets distracted by it and forgets where his explanation was going. Jon’s gaze has always been intense, in different ways throughout the time they’ve known each other. At first it was judgemental, the gaze of his boss, full of unmet expectations; then it was piercing, watchful and suspicious; as time passed, it seemed to gain more and more weight of the Beholding, something Tim always complained about. After Martin had joined Peter Lukas, the rare glances he got from Jon were full of yearning that Martin didn’t understand at the time; didn’t want to understand. Now, it’s that gentle fondness, interweaved with something intangibly sad and Martin feels an urge to hug him, to bring him close to his chest and never let go; to bury his face in Jon’s hair and protect him.

They move to place their mugs at the table at the same time and snort, amusement quickly turning into a fit of laughter. Jon throws his head back a little with it and Martin wonders if he has ever seen him laugh so openly before. He didn’t think it was possible for him to fall in love with the man even more, but once again, his heart proves him wrong. He stares at him with a lovestruck expression and thinks they should really talk about it. Martin doesn’t know where to start though and Jon seems to be thinking in a similar direction because his expression shifts into gentle seriousness.

“Martin, I…” He starts and bites his lip. “I need to apologize.”

Martin straightens a little; it’s not exactly what he expects.

“I—The way I used to treat you…” Pain and guilt flash through Jon’s face as he looks away for a moment to gather his thoughts. “It was not okay. None of it was okay. And I’m—I’m really sorry for that. It doesn’t—I know it doesn’t change anything that happened, but I” —he sighs. “I really am sorry. I hope I can, somehow, uh… somehow make it up to you.”

Martin reaches for Jon’s hand, and he looks down in surprise; Martin sees his eyes start glistening.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened to you.” He continues in a whisper and his eyes are locked on their touching hands. “I’m so sorry about the Lonely. I’m sorry that you’re trapped in all of this with me, and I would understand if you decided to leave—”

“Jon.” Martin squeezes his hand and Jon’s eyes shoot up to look at him.

“I’m sorry, that’s not an apology,” he sighs again. “I just… I’m sorry, Martin. About everything.” His other hand grips Martin’s. “I’m glad you are still here. I’m—I’m so glad, you d-don’t even know,” he laughs.

“I think I do.” Martin smiles gently. “Thank you for saying that. I’ve—I've forgiven you for a lot of it a long time ago. A-And the rest just isn’t your fault.”

Jon frowns.

“The Lonely was always there,” Martin shrugs. “Peter Lukas was just… a catalyst, I think. But now I have you.” His finger grazes the outside of Jon’s palm and his heart flutters in his chest when he sees that small smile appear on Jon’s face. “And you can’t be blamed for Elia—Jonah’s games. We’re all just… a bunch of people who didn’t know what was going on until it was too late.”

Jon’s eyes fall as he nods slightly.

“He’s still up to something,” he says quietly.

“Figures,” Martin laughs bitterly. “But we’re here now. And frankly, I don’t really want to think about him when we’re finally…” The word ‘together’ gets stuck in his throat, as if it would breach this fine line of ambiguity they’ve drawn between themselves. Jon seems to fill it in and his eyes land back on Martin.

He’s never wanted to kiss him more than he does right now. Jon's eyes are wide and glistening with something that looks suspiciously like hope, and his fingers gently graze the outside of Martin's palm. Warmth spreads in his chest and his eyes flutter a little, not breaking the eye contact. He wants to pull Jon close to his chest, to run his fingers through his hair and feel his breath on his own skin. To really feel like he's there, next to him, with him.

Before he can follow through with any of that, something sizzles in the kitchen, loud in the silence, startling them both.

“Food!” Jon chuckles slightly before he jumps to his feet and rushes to the kitchen, while Martin snorts and follows him. Jon stirs the pan with curry and sighs with relief when he sees it's not burned. He turns down the heat anyway and checks on the rice.

“Jon, this smells amazing,” Martin says, peeking into the pan with cheese and spinach. “I didn't know you could cook.”

“Well, contrary to the popular belief I was a functional human being. For a while,” Jon snorts and leans against the counter to look back at Martin. “It's Palak Paneer, my grandma taught me when I was a child.”

“It looks fantastic,” Martin grins, and Jon rolls his eyes in mock exasperation.

Even though the moment's lost, the remains of the feeling can be felt between them as they prepare the plates and take the food to the table. They easily fall back into usual chatter and, as soon as they’re finished, Martin jumps to wash the dishes. Jon relents after extensive affirmations from Martin that he's alright and he can definitely take care of a couple dishes in the sink, and he drops onto the couch with a content sigh instead.

Martin finishes up with the dishes and dries his hands on a towel.

“Do you want some tea?” He asks and hangs the towel back on the rack. When there's no response, he turns to the couch. “Jon?”

Something sinks in his stomach when he sees that the object that consumes Jon’s attention is the poem he’s finished; he scratches his neck, as his cheeks take on a pink tinge. “Oh…”

He walks up to the couch, unsure, trying to gauge Jon's reaction. His face seems tense, he squeezes the notebook in his hand so hard his knuckles go white, and his eyes are focused at one point on the page.

“Um... Jon?” Martin asks weakly, his heart drumming in his chest so loud he's sure both of them can hear it.

Jon jumps to his feet, startled, and looks up at him with eyes wide, like a deer in the headlights. Martin instinctively raises his hands in a placating gesture, as Jon registers his presence, looks down on the notebook in his hands, and quickly puts it on the table as if it stung him.

“Martin, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to look, it was just there and—”

“Hey, Jon, it’s alright!” It’s maybe a little not alright, since the poem is nothing short of a love confession and a wish Martin had no right to assume would ever be true, so Jon reading it is less than ideal. Martin rushes to gently place a hand on Jon’s shoulder but when he recoils from the touch, Martin withdraws his hand, cursing everything about himself.

“No, I, uh…” Jon runs his hand through his hair, eyes darting between Martin, his hand, and the notebook frantically. “I shouldn’t have— uh, it’s—it’s your private business, what you write about, so—”

Martin is sure he’s tomato red on the face by this point and hopes against hope that the afternoon light filtering through the curtains obscures it just a little. Jon, on the other hand, doesn’t have the embarrassed blush that usually darkens his cheeks; instead he breathes fast, his hands shaking ever so slightly. Martin sees him hunch just a little, making himself smaller.

“Um, yeah, I, uh—” He starts fidgeting with his fingers. Did the idea of—of love frighten Jon so much? He was stupid to leave it out in the open and now Jon knows, and it’s not how he feels, so he hates him… “I’m sorry.”

Jon’s eyes snap to him, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“For what?”

Martin huffs out something like a pained laugh.

“Th-That’s not exactly how- how I wanted to tell you.” He wrings out his hands and shoots Jon a pleading look. What’s done is done and the only thing he can hope for is for Jon to let him down easy and never speak of this again.

“Tell me?” Jon looks down at the notebook again and there’s the worry again, stark on his face. He breathes out, slowly, and looks at the floor. “I don’t—I don’t even want to think this is a possibility…”

Martin doesn’t need to imagine what it would be like to be stabbed, if he wanted to - he’s pretty sure the acute pain of his heart shattering in his chest is close enough. His mind tries to catch up to the emotions, slow them down just a bit, because something seems off, and isn’t this a weird way to reject someone you must have known had a crush on you? But his throat tightens with the swell of pain and shame and Martin blinks away the tears welling up in his eyes.

Jon sighs and plops down on the couch, hiding his face in his hands and pushing his glasses up to his forehead.

“We d-don’t have to talk about it, if—if you don’t want to,” Martin says quietly. He sits down next to Jon, careful not to touch him in any way, and puts his hands between his knees.

Jon lets out a bitter laugh.

“Isn’t that what they—the Web would want? Just… mindlessly follow, go with the flow until something… irreversibly bad happens?”

Martin turns to Jon with a frown.

“Wh—What?”

Jon looks at him with something glistening in his eyes and Martin can see the lines of pain and misery written on his face like they belong there.

“The web,” he says faintly. “Strings of fate. I—” He lets out a breath. “Was I just being manipulated this whole time? Was I ever really—Did I ever have a choice?”

“Jon... what are you talking about?”

“You—You said I was...” He reaches for the notebook and points at a verse with his finger. “’Made your choice unaware you were led by strings of web against your heart.’ How—W-Why did you say this?”

Martin stares into Jon's green eyes with concern, yet parts of his heart start to weave themselves back together. However confused and worried Jon seems to be, none of it is directed at Martin; he looks at him with desperation, almost pleading, and he realizes they’ve been having two different conversations at the same time.

“Oh-Oh, God, Jon, I-I didn't mean—I just, it's a-a metaphor, just that, you know,” he takes a breath. “It does remind me of a web, the-the way we got caught up in Elias' plans.” He looks down, his cheeks burning as he remembers why Jon would get caught at this specific phrase. “I'm sorry for, uh, using that, it was just the first thing that came to my mind and—”

Jon exhales next to him and Martin risks a look up. The uneasiness isn't gone from his face but he relaxes just a little bit, enough to stabilize his breathing.

“I'm sorry for this… this whole thing, Martin.” He gestures at nothing in particular and it's his turn to look at the floor, as if it's all of a sudden the most interesting thing he's ever seen. He starts fidgeting with the notebook. “I'm just—What if it’s true?” His voice goes higher at the question and he closes his eyes. Martin squeezes his arm. “What if I am just... Just a puppet? An inhuman, helpless puppet in the hands of—Of some spider pulling the strings?”

A tear rolls down Jon's cheek and Martin grabs one of his hands. It’s small and still shakes a little; he tries to put all the protectiveness he feels into this small gesture. Jon doesn’t recoil this time, instead taking a moment to watch Martin’s hand clasp around his.

“Jon,” Martin starts softly. “You're still you. You're not some—Some spider puppet that can't make choices.”

“But what if—”

“You've made a choice to go into the Lonely for me.” Martin bumps their knees together lightly and Jon looks up at him. “I don't suspect any webs would need me alive to push you into it. It was You.”

Jon looks him in the eyes and Martin barely stops himself from reaching up to his face to wipe away his tears.

“Or it just makes us think that we have a choice but are ultimately helpless against fate and everything we do is determined by intricately crafted circumstances,” Jon whispers. “Maybe free will is a lie.”

Martin blinks.

“Jon...”

“Maybe I was never able to stop it. Any of it.” Jon’s voice grows more horrified and even though his eyes are directed at Martin's face, he seems to be looking somewhere past him. “Maybe nothing we try to do really matters.”

“Jon.” Martin’s voice gains a bit of force, even though he feels all but sure. “What do you see?”

Jon frowns. “What?”

“Look at me and tell me what you see?” The force is gone; the sentence sounds more like a feeble suggestion than a request, but Jon's eyes refocus on Martin's in a frown of confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“We're here now,” Martin says quietly. “And yeah, maybe our decisions are all predetermined or whatever. I still think it matters that we try. I think our experience matters. And you're not a-a monster without free will, Jon. You care about people, and you’ve sacrificed a lot for other people. You've made your own choices and, no matter if they were good or bad, they were still yours. And I think that matters.”

Jon blinks at him for a moment, then his shoulders slump with a sigh and he interlaces their fingers. Martin doesn’t miss it and he feels warmth in his chest.

“I've always been afraid of—of my will not being my own anymore,” he confesses quietly. “Of, uh... of not knowing the difference.”

“I get it,” Martin nods. “If it’s any consolation, I see a lot of Jon in you still.” Jon looks up at him with surprise and Martin gives him a half smile. “I see a very changed Jon but it's still Jon.” He strokes Jon's palm as his heart picks up the pace. “The same Jon I've first fallen in love with.”

Jon exhales softly, his face caught in a soft surprise, and Martin smiles around the dull ache in his chest.

“You don't have to say anything. I'm sure you've known for a while, but I just... I wanted to say it.”

With every second that passes in silence, however, Martin's cheeks grow hotter, and he concludes that this might have been a mistake.

“I-I'm sorry. M-Maybe I shouldn't have said that, I… I don't want things to get weird or anything, so, uh, we can, we can just forget—”

“Martin.” Jon says his name in a soft and kind of inquisitive way that makes his heart bounce around and transforms the ache in his chest into swirling butterflies again. Martin looks up and Jon’s head is tilted to the side, his face still wet with tears, but he notices something hopeful glitter in his eyes. “I love you too.”

Martin frowns, suddenly wondering if he isn't dreaming. Is Jon really saying what he thinks he is? Did he hear correctly? Maybe he misheard—

“I have for a while,” Jon's voice is still quiet and soft. “I didn't want to say anything because I thought it was too early after the Lonely and you might not feel this way anymore, but...”

Martin swallows, acutely aware of how loud his heartbeat is. He squeezes Jon’s hand and smiles slightly.

“I... I didn't know,” he whispers, not trusting his voice to cooperate.

“As soon as I woke up from the coma, I wanted to tell you,” Jon says. “I thought I was too late; that it took me too long to stop denying the feelings I had because I didn’t know how to deal with them, and I'd missed my chance.” He laughs bitterly.

“So that’s what it was about,” Martin whispers, as Jon's actions towards him throughout his time as Peter Lukas’ assistant start falling into place. Jon looks at him with a frown, so he adds, “The ‘let's gouge out our eyes and escape'.”

Jon scrunches up his nose and clears his throat.

“Yes, well. Yeah.”

Martin chuckles quietly.

“I don't think I would have lasted in the Lonely if I understood then. But then again. It didn't really matter in the end. It didn't help.”

“But it was your choice,” Jon echoes Martin's words from before and their eyes meet again.

“Yeah. It was my choice.”

They stare into each other's eyes for a moment, losing track of time, before Jon smiles slightly and looks back at the notebook.

“I really am sorry for not asking your permission, though,” he says. “I got so caught up in the metaphor I didn’t even finish it.”

Martin blinks, the warmth from his chest spreading to his cheeks again.

“D-Do you want to?”

Jon smiles softly, this new smile that Martin has only seen in the past couple of days, always directed at him.

“If you’d let me.”

Martin needs to look away, unable to handle the affection in Jon’s eyes. He mumbles an ‘okay’ with a smile that’s not entirely under his control and gets up.

“But I am making that tea whether you want it or not, waiting for someone to finish reading something is a torture.”

He hears Jon laugh as he heads back to the kitchen.

When he comes back with two steaming mugs, Jon is waiting for him with a smile and his nervousness dissipates with his next words.

“I like it,” Jon says. “Apart from the, uh, web metaphor, obviously. It's hopeful.”

“Y-You do?”

Martin swallows; the pleasant tingling in his stomach is back. He places their mugs on the table and reaches out to join their hands again. Jon intertwines their fingers immediately and caresses the outside of Martin’s palm with his thumb.

Jon looks down at the verses again and smiles softly, almost sheepishly, a familiar blush darkening his cheeks.

“I—I don't know if there would be anything for us outside of. You know. The fears and all that,” he grimaces. “At least, for me. But, uh…” He looks at Martin again with a hopeful expression that makes Martin melt a little, and he gently caresses Martin's cheek with his free hand. “I really like the thought of it.”

Martin's brain might be short-circuiting at this moment and all of his thoughts take form of fuzzy static.

“Me too,” he says, suddenly breathless. Jon's hand rests cupping his cheek and, are they a bit closer than they were a second ago? Jon's gaze slides down Martin's face to his lips and he feels he might faint right there and then. He doesn't, instead gathering up his courage to take a breath.

“Can I kiss you?” Jon asks first and Martin feels his lips form a grin.

“Please,” he breathes out; the next second their lips meet, soft but urgent, desperate and sick of waiting. Martin's hand dives into Jon's soft hair, fingers scraping the delicate skin of his head and earning him a low sound from Jon's throat. They pull each other closer and find a rhythm to lose themselves in for just a moment; the sensation of Jon's tongue swirling in his mouth, of his slender fingers on his cheek and his neck, the pressure of his body against his chest; all of it making Martin dizzy with happiness.

Martin pulls away when his lungs painfully remind him breathing is still a necessity and he opens his eyes to look at Jon – His soft lips, his nose, his pockmark scars, and his eyes, green yet with no trace of Beholding in them. He takes him in whole, with all of his flaws and all of his virtues, and he feels seen in return, seen by the man he loves and who loves him. The weight of it all hits Martin like a crashing wave and he pulls Jon in for a tight embrace.

“I love you,” he whispers against his shoulder, and he feels Jon's arms tightening around his torso.

“I love you too, Martin.”

[kangyeosaang]

#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

thank you csenge @imdefs​ for tagging me to show how i made this set ✨

buckle up folks this is gonna be long bc min. character limit uni papers thought me a lot of things but def not how to be concise 

01. planning

this was a long time ago but i do remember wanting to make something with overlays bc quite honestly i started working on this way too late and it seemed the fastest lmao. jokes on me i had 2 failed attempts and this also went through some changes along the way. initially i wanted to combine dye, bol and present:you... them being my fave eras for this lovable dumb man. so it would’ve been one pair for each gif.

02. creating

picking footage

so onto creating,, first things first the concept had to be changed bc present:you only had light shots so that had to be removed rip, here you can see a failed attempt at me trying to include it. this was before i started making proof on concepts for gifsets which later on saved me so much time... but not this time

once i accepted defeat i had to reshuffle the shots and add some new ones but it was all good i was not losing braincells at all. so onto the real gifs, gonna show you the red one bc that’s my fave of the three. 

making the base

btw i’m always working with timelines and smart objects bc it feels way easier than frames. so here we started with this jaebeom, and since the background and his hair it’s pretty dark those will be the parts which will be covered with the next gif. i made it black and white and also adjusted the levels a bit to make it a bit softer (lowered the whites and lightened the blacks)

for aesthetic purposes i always go for one close shot and one wider shot, then literally all i did was add the other gif on top, and set it to lighten. okay this is it that’s the whole process bye. oh we need the rest too? okay okay. so btw for a while i was considering making both of them coloured but then bw looked better when having all three gifs under each other, felt more like a ‘set’

now for this gif in particular i did not need to mask anything, shocking, but for the others i had to either blend the edges or make the bottom layer darker at some places to let the top layer show up a bit more e.g. for the second gif i needed a tiny blending like so (it’s the layer 1 copy 3 lmao)

making the overlay bits

then we are basically done with the main part of the gifs, obviously i applied colouring to each inside the smart object. but i always like to add something extra on top which are usually two things: 1.) full overlay gif something blurred (literally any kind of footage.. i used leaves, water, space renders etc. so far), or a light leak, oooor a bokeh effect whatever and just keep it subtle. and 2.) some smaller moving bits which are usually sparkles, dust, stars, galaxy stuff etc. u get the idea. for the above gif this happens to be Layer 1 copy 2 rip. also in this case this overlay is actually this jaebeom footage blurred and with some colouring added on top of it to have this redish brassy tone (not me forgetting about this completely lmao) obviously it’s zoomed in and i’m using the top left part of the video blurred. look at me explaining my chosen gif with another gifs gahd i’m bad at this. anyways it just goes to show i use practially anything i can think of and just blur it. 

for the full overlay footage i either go black and white and set it to overlay or soft light, whatever works best, or go coloured and set it to lighten again.... whatever blending mode works best. for this specific 2nd gif i went with lighten. for the smaller moving bits same tbh i just adjust the levels/curves to only show the bits i need when it’s set to lighten, i.e. i make its background more black so it won’t make the gif hazy. 

 adding the text

so anyways i add those on top so it’s not boring anymore,, practically just concealing the fact that all i‘ve really done was adding a gif on top of another and set it to lighten rip. oh yeah we have the text layers, nothing fancy here: for the script i used Challenge and the serif is FogtwoNo5. For the script i sampled some red from the background and just set it to overlay, and for the serif i just went with full caps adding some extra kerning bc one: for full caps you always need that, not this much lol, and two: it just looks better okay. 

last touches

then i added a levels adjustment layer because i felt the gifs were a bit brighter than i wanted, so we ended up with this 

saviiiiiing 

oh my gahd we are almost theeeere, for saving gifs here are my settings, i did not have to tell photoshop which colours to use luckily so it was an easy process.

03. posting

eeehmmm posting... yeah nothing exciting? i just save it in my drafts check it on mobile, and if something is really messed up i’ll change some colouring and saving settings, but this was a fairly ‘easy’ gif for tumblr to compress decently so none of that. 

if you read this far bruh.... i don’t think i’ve made sense anyways thank yooouuu 💕

and the five amazing CCs i’m tagging are 

🎬 dear wifey, rosie @se-jun​​​​ for these victon posters which i definitely did not make her choose and we ended up with the same i would’ve chosen 🌈 vivi @yeekies​​​​ for making a rainbow from the mostly yellow blob that is the fireworks mv 💙 yv @woodzm​​​​ for this beauty where the blues are colourmatched so well it makes me mad 🌸 lotta @halahala​​​​ for this miracle of a gifset which made me not despise pink 🌈 bridget @lilacwoo​​​​ for this 12/10 rainbow right here because apparently i like rainbows. shocking.   

feel free to ignore and all them usual stuff

[darth-does-stuff]

ok so i need to place this information somewhere and i just decided id post it here 

 idk if im even gonna post the actual superhero au fic but im posting it here anyways

 this superhero au is gonna fit all the angst in here because there is little angst in the chaos crew au lmao

but here are the separate arcs each is gonna face in this au under the cut

(there is gonna be some graphic stuff so be warned)

(it is also going to be very long)

heed the tags guys

Logan

A very important factor for his entire character in this au is that he has cybernetics. His right eye, his left arm, and the lower half of his left leg. This happened due to an explosion, his arm and lower left leg essentially blown off, and shrapnel piercing his eye. 

His arc centers around his cybernetics, thinking they are a burden, and feeling like he doesn’t fit in, along with feeling inadequate. 

Logan struggles with thinking that his cybernetics aren’t truly a part of him, just something he has to deal with. A burden. He resents it, there’s no sugarcoating it. He wishes he had his human limbs back.

 In his arc, he’ll deal with the fact he has them, and that no amount of wishing will ever change it. He accepts them as a part of himself, an imperfect part, for sure, but every human is imperfect. Hell, even human parts of himself are imperfect, so it fits right in. 

Before he accepts it as a part of himself, though, he deals with feelings of inadequacy. People often pitied him (keep in mind they thought he had prosthetics), trying to ‘lighten the load’ for him. He appreciated the thought, but they never let him do anything. He felt like they were belittling him. Logan tried to brush it off, but deep down, he worried that he truly was inadequate. Was he weak? Should he even be doing these things? Was he good enough? Sometimes...Logan felt he wasn’t.

But, once he hits the arc with accepting his cybernetics, he faces this feeling of inadequacy and proves it wrong. He’s been doing things normal humans couldn’t dream of and the city’s still thriving. He’s faced countless robbers, countless villains, and found a home with the team. He was good enough. He was okay. He’d be fine. Of course, sometimes he’d still have those feelings of not being good enough, but he could deal with it now. It wasn’t something that haunted his nightmares.

But, even after the whole cybernetic arc, he still faces the problem of not fitting in. Even before having superpowers and cybernetics, he wasn’t like other children. He was the eldest child, so his parents were basically helicopter parents, afraid he was going to get hurt in some way. As he got older and he had more siblings, they got a bit more lax, but he still hadn’t done things normal children had done. He didn’t explore, didn’t interact much with other children (though that was more of his doing), barely went outside, and had his every move basically monitored. Logan preferred reading a book to playing at the park, drawing a picture instead of hanging out with friends, etc., etc. So, he always felt a bit like an outsider. It only got worse once he had the incident. 

Now, he had fucking powers and literal robotics attached to his body, and he was scared. He was angry. He was...confused. How would his life change? What would happen to him? Then, all of a sudden, he got roped into being a fucking vigilante and just had to deal with it.

Then, he joins this team, all of them so much more normal than him, and he still doesn’t know what to do. He’s scared they are going to judge him, belittle him, like so many before them had done.

But...they don’t. They accept him, they joke with him, they are happy with him. And, he slowly starts to relax. He comes out of his shell and he feels...complete. It’s okay he isn’t normal. It’s okay he doesn’t exactly fit in. Everything is okay. 

He doesn’t blame his parents for being helicopter parents, he still loves them and his siblings. He knows they were worried about him. Sure, they did mess up, but he’s made countless mistakes in his life too. He doesn’t blame them or his siblings. They helped him become who he is and he is eternally grateful for that.

Patton

Patton faces the problem of his public image and his own self-image. In public and when he is Typhoon, he puts on this bright and chipper personality. And it’s grueling to keep up because that is not who he truly is. He’s much more mischievous, much more sarcastic, much more brash, much more himself. 

He tries to keep up this optimistic persona because he doesn’t want backlash. He’s afraid of what people would say if they saw the real thing. So, he puts up an image. Smile, all the time. Wave enthusiastically. Don’t let them see through you. Act like you’re fine. You always have to be fine, right? That’s what Patton thinks, at least.

With his arc, he slowly learns to just accept himself. It helps when Virgil joins the team, because he sees him not putting up a facade. He acts himself, dark and broody, sarcastic and sardonic. And nobody really questioned it or gave him backlash. Patton has this moment of ‘Oh’ because he realizes that he can show what he truly is. He no longer has to hide.

When he first starts showing himself as he actually is, he’s scared. It’s only natural, no matter how much you prepared for it, you will still be scared. Some people notice. There are a few news articles as some just want drama. But, his team, his friends, his family backs him up and it strengthens his resolve. He learns to ignore those types of people, knowing they only want drama. He can finally be...himself.

Roman

Oh boy, this is going to be a doozy.

Roman’s angst is that his entire world view changes, his beliefs (not religious) crumble. Everything just seems to flip for him.

Roman had always thought that everyone could be redeemed. No matter the deed. Everyone deserves a second chance. He’s faced criminals and villains with this belief at the forefront of his mind. 

When everything else seemed to be crumbling around him, this belief sustained him. It kept him going. It was a constant when nothing else stayed the same.

But now? Now everything is foreign. Everything is changing with nothing being that constant that he so desperately needed. This situation he is facing hits even closer to home because--well, I’m afraid I can’t say because of spoilers, but let’s just say it may involve a certain mustached villain ;)

But, anyways, in his arc, he realizes that everything can’t just be sunshine and daisies. He’s known this before, but it hits full force now. He has to accept that some people can’t be redeemed, that some are just...evil. He hates to admit it, but he knows it’s true.

His friends--no, family backed him up. They helped him with this realization, helped to make sure he doesn’t break. And he is so, so, so, so grateful and thankful for them.

He knows that some people can’t change. He’s...well, he’s not fine with it, but he accepts it at the very least. And when he looks around at his family, seeing how genuine and kind they are, he knows that, no matter what, all he needs is his family to survive.

Virgil

He faces problems with his self-esteem, his own anxiety, and his fear of lack of self-control.

He has little self-esteem. He always has, really. Since he was a kid, he always overthought everything he did, criticized himself severely, always tried to push himself harder, in unhealthy amounts. It all left him feeling so tired.

He kept doing this even into adulthood, checking himself, always wondering if he could do better, barely feeling good about things he did. Things he wanted to be proud of, but just couldn’t.

When he joins the team, it’s a slow process. He was immensely afraid of being judged, of being insulted, of them. They were all these heroes the city recognized and praised and he was left feeling like shit, in his mind at least. He felt like he couldn’t keep up. Virgil kept trying to push himself harder to at least try and be on the same level as them, but ended up pushing much too hard, passing out from exhaustion and stress.

They realized his mindset, having had once had this mindset themselves, and help him deal with it, help him try to minimize it because it’s not something you can be fully rid of. They know this themselves because sometimes they still get those moments, where they feel they aren’t doing enough and push harder, too harder. But, the best they can do is to deal with it. And that’s exactly what Virgil does. 

His anxiety is also a doozy. 

It holds him back so much. Especially with fear of failing. He doesn’t want to fail anybody. He wants to do the best he can and do it perfectly. But, the problem is that he can’t. He knows he can’t and it terrifies him. His anxiety and fear of failing prevent him from doing so many things just because of what could go wrong. 

The team also helps with this. They provide somebody he can rant to and offer solutions and different types of perspective. They help him to realize that if you only worry about what could go wrong, then you wouldn’t be able to do anything, you wouldn’t be able to live. Because with that mindset, you aren’t living, you are only surviving. 

And they help Virgil see this point. Help him to not let his anxiety hold him back from things he really wants to do. And it provides him with so many opportunities. 

They all know that sometimes, it’s going to happen. Sometimes, Virgil just can’t be able to do something because the fear practically paralyzes him. It’s like with his self-esteem issues. It’s not something you can be rid of, just something you have to deal with. They help him when this happens, help bring him back to reality and help to calm him down.

Lastly, his fear of no self-control. You have to remember that their powers can be heavily influenced by emotions. Strong bursts of emotions can work it into overdrive. Too much use of their powers can also use all of their energy. In very extreme cases, it can lead to death.

But, while Virgil is also afraid of the side effects, he’s mostly afraid of what his powers can do to other people, innocent people. And, to him, it’s a found fear. It’s happened before. He’s hurt others without meaning to and he vowed to never do it again. This is partly why he became a vigilante, to protect others instead of hurting them. But he is so afraid of still harming them and he has nightmares about it. It practically haunts him. He fears turning into those killers and villains he’s fought.

Once again, the team is very helpful in debunking this. They’ve explained their own experiences, explained how they themselves have hurt innocents without meaning to, and it’s something you have to just...deal with, like all other problems. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Him worrying about being a bad person just proves furthermore that he isn’t. After all, a bad person wouldn’t care about it. But, he does. And that is what provides the difference. 

Janus

spoilers spoilers spoilers

Remus

spoilers spoilers spoilers-

[beclynn-herondale]

Inside TMI Gang's diaries part 5 1/2

(long post)

Clary: Dear diary, so the Clave didn't end up punishing me because I didn't technically break any rules when I brought Jace back, but some peeps are staring at me still and like bish you're making me uncomfortable, also I don't know where Jace is and I feel this deep emptiness without him. I decided I am gonna ask the Seelie Queen for help, and no brain you ain't stopping me k, Alec and Izzy will be with me on this and Simon. Also just wait Sebastian just wait, I am gonna show you who to truly be afraid of. But first coffee

*Later*

So shit happened, I went to the Seelie Queen and she asked me to steal these rings, but like I was like no, but I decided to take them for myself, anyway I saw Jace and Sebastian, and Jace looked completely fine, he looked happy, like nothing is even bothering him, and then i said I didn't get the rings, like a lier, and that night Jace broke into my bedroom and we kinda kissed, and I found out he is basically a puppet for Sebastian, and if you hurt or kill Sebastian you hurt or kill Jace, and just whatever life whatever, also Sebastian stabbed Luke and now Luke may die, my mom is taking us to Magnus' and now that we are here he called it saint Magnus' for wayword Shadowhunters, and me and my mom got into a fight, she said stuff about Jace and like that's the thing I am sensitive about, so I decided to tell Simon to meet me and I shall run away and save Jace, I am always gonna be the knight and him the Damsel. Also Simon is the best friend, now I gotta go kill my brother. Need some coffee first.

Possessed Jace: Dear diary, all is well in the day of being evil and running around with Sebastian, he is alright, anyway we are off to cause chaos, I want to try and take Clary with us tho. Also I am not sure but something weird may have happened between me and Sebastian the other night, I can't remember exactly, but it was weird.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and I tried to take her with us but Sebastian had to be unpleasant, he may be hungry, he gets hangry when he doesn't eat enough, I plan on coming back for Clary though, oh also Luke got hurt, that one feels bad. Oh and Clary did come back and she is with us now, I love her. Oh also Sebastian and me have gotten up to some stuff, he is a genius, and he is so evil, I love it.

Jace: I am gonna murder him, this bish is so stupid, oh shit wait is this me again? I feel like I am banging on a wall. Who says love that much?

Alec: Dear diary, a lot has happened, Jace is still kidnapped and the Clave didn't end up punishing Clary, thank the angel. I am sneaking behind Magnus' back and I hate it but what else am I supposed to do?, Clary wants to meet with the Seelie Queen and I have a bad feeling about it, she isn't trustworthy, but I guess we have no choice cause the Clave won't help much anymore. Izzy is ready to fight anyone. Magnus is still not sharing much and is avoiding topics, and he doesn't know about Camille. But Camille is the worst, how could Magnus ever have dated her, he's so good and hot, and kind and sexy, he's also giving and attractive, he's beautiful and has a beautiful soul.

*Later*

Still sneaking around, still hate being around Camille. Jace apparently was at the Institute with Sebastian and they were acting like buddies, Jace is my parabatai, Sebastian you little shit. And then Jace and Sebastian went to Clary's house and attacked so now Clary is here at Magnus' and so is Jocelyn. Life keeps getting weirder, and everything is going to hell, if Jace were here, he'd have a way to lighten the mood.

Magnus: Dear diary, breathe Magnus, breathe, thankfully Biscuit is fine, Blondie is still kidnapped. Izzy and Simon have tension between them and I want nothing to do with that drama, I know.i usually like drama but Shadowhunter drama is a mess. Camille is god knows where, probably being evil. Sebastian is still on the loose, probably being evil as well, no definitely being evil. Alec has been distant lately. Chairman Meow is a comfort as always. I am trying to track down blondie, but I have had no luck, Sebastian is good I'll give him that. The Clave is a pain in my ass as usual. And the Seelie Queen is a raging bish, some things never change.

*Later*

So. . . Apparently Sebastian and blondie were at the Institute and after that attacked Clary and Jocelyn in their house, Luke was injured and hopefully will be okay. As always, Saint Magnus' is where Jocelyn and Clary went to, I am like the safe haven for wayword Shadowhunters. Clary and Jocelyn just got into a fight, Mother and Daughter drama is never one you want to get into the middle of but Biscuit isn't necessarily in the wrong here. But I don't want people to explode on me and Jocelyn would so. . . Anyway, I suspect Izzy will be here soon and maybe Simon. Hopefully we'll figure out where Jace is somehow, everyone is miserable and I never noticed how much of a light he actually was until he was gone, and yes I am surprised by those words myself.

Izzy: Dear diary, life is only chaos and a mess as usual, I can't get Simon out of my head and I don't know why, I have never been this way with someone before, ahhhhhhhhh. Anyway the Clave didn't punish Clary so that's good, I would have fought them if they had tried anything. Jace is still missing and we still have no idea where he is, the Clave is deciding he isn't a priority anymore, and if not for me wanting to play it cool I would have thrown some unkind words, but I am also not surprised. But we'll find Jace and save him, I won't accept anything else, there is no way in hell I am losing another brother.

*Later*

Clary saw Jace and Sebastian at the Institute and then apparently they broke in her house, and tried to take her, and Clary says Jace wasn't Jace, that he believed Sebastian was right and I swear whatever Sebastian did to my bro, he is gonna pay for. Still can't stop thinking about Simon and I want to punch a tree, Jace would have said "What did the tree ever do to you" I miss that weirdo, I am heading over the Magnus' cause that's where Clary and Jocelyn are, Luke got hurt bad, hopefully things will be alright. Also Simon wasn't at his and Jordan's apartment, I got a little drunk and may have spilled some stuff to Jordan and I regret it. Anyway I am gonna try to get ahold of Simon and ask him to come, there's something about him that comforts me.

Simon: Dear diary, life as a teenager has been so hard, as usual, being a vampire still kinda sucks, my mom hates me, Jace is still missing, Clary and Izzy are both wrecks, and I just want a chiller times. There's something between Jordan and Maia but I be staying away, I have no idea what me and Izzy are relationship wise, Clary thankfully didn't get in trouble with the Clave. Sebastian is creepy af. I think I am gonna listen to mcr and be angst.

*Later*

Shit got very real again, apparently Jace and Sebastian attacked Clary at her house and Luke was hurt, also apparently you can't hurt or kill Sebastian with hurting or killing Jace, that's just amazing isn't it. Clary and Jocelyn are at Magnus', - although Clary isn't anymore, in fact she is right in front of me telling me her crazy plan to go after Jace, Jocelyn is gonna go mama bear on me, but I can't stop Clary that's never been an option with her, apparently we are gonna keep in contact with the faerie rings Clary secretly stole, it keeps getting worse, this is all gonna be bad. And to top it off I am ignoring Becky and she is gonna come after me if I don't respond soon, but how can I when there's so much. - later, Izzy wants me at Magnus' and I still don't know what we are, but I'll always be there for her, if she lets me.

Sebastian: Dear evil diary, I have to say I have been having a lot of fun, Jace thinks something weird happened between us the others night, and something did but he'll never know what ;), I plan to kidnap my sister and take her with us no matter what it takes, me and Jace have plans, evil plans. We are at the Institute for something, and after that when night comes we plan to find my sister, I know Jace won't do anything without her, she's the only thing that keeps him not fully in my control. Anyway I am to do evil.

*Later*

We broke into Clary's house and she was mad, like I thought you'd be happy to see your boyfriend who has been missing, little sister. But apparently not? And I tried to kill that werewolf but he may survive. Mother will pay. Jace says he's sure Clary will come, honestly his love and trust in her is strange and I do not understand it, father would be disgusted, but I need Jace and I want Clary as well, so I'll do what it takes. Evil is out.

Church: Dear cat diary, I am so fucking done, you have no idea how done I am, Herondale and Fairchild did stuff in the past that led to Herondale getting possessed. Jem you would know what to do, please save me. Herondale is probably gonna have something tragic again *sigh*, Fairchild isn't gonna sit by and do nothing, it isn't in her blood. Lightwood 1 is off and I don't know what it is but he has something, Lightwood 2 may well explode as and I wouldn't want to be in the middle of that, tho I would like to see her go off on the Clave *cat grins*, Sebastian is another evil guy, why do I bother to learn their names? Jem if you were here, Simon is idk, he is doing something, Magnus is Magnus, and I may try and visit Chairman Meow, seeing them may help my cat stress levels. Everything is shit, the world is going to shit, and my Jem isn't here to save me, and I want some frickin tuna.

Tagging @chibi-tsukiko , idk if you want to be tagged in this but I know you said to start tagging you 🙈

[waokevale]

Can we get more info on the relationship between light!Janus and dark!Roman?

Alright, I'll try to explain some things.

(I will also make a comic soon about their first real meeting from the past so..)

But let's get things straight (nope)

Roman despite his stereotypical villain-like behavior at first finds that Janus is the one that he has to claim, has to get.

He's basically like Ayano from Yandere Simulator but less murder-y

Roman thinks that Janus is the most beautiful side that there is in the mindscape (Because like from one headcanon that I accepted they have different appearances inside of Thomas' mind.)

He claims that he had never seen such amazing side with such caring and dearing character that he fell in love with the side almost the first minute he met him or even at first sight If I must say.

(He still believes in this stuff and is extra af, so there is no surprise why he would do that)

[Something like fic starts]

Roman meets Janus for the first time after a heated fight with Logan which came to a violent act, in which also Roman lost.

He was basically just walking, not caring about where to go really as much as away from the others.

He then trips and falls until a well-known side notices him and rushes to help him do to his state.

After he realizes someone who's a light side is in front of him, he quickly changes his face-appearance from the sharp teeth and the red eyeliner when he finally looks up.

In front of him stands a side that (Like I said before) was the most beautiful being in the mind palace in his opinion.

Janus has strawberry blonde curly hair with bangs underneath his hat, golden eyes, lots of freckles and slightly tan yet not quite skin. His original outfit in this one has a cream yellow poncho around his shoulder, a golden shirt behind it, same creamy colored bowler hat with a white stripe and a mini-sunflower on it. Light greish-brown pants, high hilled boots and a pair of gloves on his hands.

Roman does blush but lightly at the sight of the side who now tries to help him, which he accepts.

When the said side bandages his wounds he unshamely stares at the figure in front of him. After that he does something pretty stupid in his opinion but he doesn't hesitate.

He snatches the side's hat, the side now flinches back in surprise before giving Roman a questioning look.

Now Roman really does blush as he sees the strawberry-blonde curly hair and bangs falling on the other one's face, covering slightly his golden eyes. His reddish lips now forming into a playful smile.

-"You know....You should go bare-head from the hat more often, you look beautiful without it...Who am I kidding, you look beautiful in general."

Roman said with no hesitation nor regret in his voice. He knew what he was doing, and maybe this side was one that would like receiving compliments.

And he was right, the side's face now turned a deep shade of red as he now tried to process what the other said, hiding his risisng hot face behind his gloved hands.

-"Have I told you that I have never seen such beauty like you around? Probably because I'm from the gloomy part of the mindscape but still, a man can dream right?"

Roman said again.

-"I-I....Y-you think I'm....B-b-beautiful...?"

He side stuttered out, but he clearly knew that these words were true from the other's mouth.

[Janus in this one can detect lies as well, although not every little lie like from the headcanon about the original Janus, he's much more based of self-preservation than Deceit]

-"Of course, why would I lie about this to you? I just wanted you to know.... Also thank you for helping me with the wounds."

Roman said, winking this time.

Janus tried to ignore the clear as the water fact that the other was full-on flirting with him as the fact that he thanked him for the saving.

-"N-no problem. H-how did you get those horrible wounds anyway....?"

-"Mmm...I got into a fight, I lost, the end."

Roman replied and rolled his eyes in dissapointment.

-"O-oh.....With who?"

-"Mmm...No one important really."

That did sounded like a lie in Janus' opinion but he tried to ignore it, not wanting to get too personal with every little detail.

-"Mhmm...C-can I have my hat back though?"

Janus now asked out of blue, changing the uncomfortable subject.

-"Now why would I give it back? I told you, you look amazing without it. Why do you need it so much~?"

Roman said, already getting snarky.

-"Because I...I need it...P-please...."

Janus begged a little, not wanting to be rude, as it successfully worked when he felt the structure of his hat again on his head.

-"Thank you....."

-"Roman, but I'm supposed to be Pride or Creativity 2.0 since my bro-bro is number 1"

Janus now looked a little bit surprised as the side said his name with no hesitation or stress at all.

-"Y-you just told me...? Just like that?"

-"Why would I hide something like that from you, darling?"

-"I-I um.....M-my name is....My name is Janus....I-I'm um.....Thomas' Validity or in other name s-self-preservation...."

-"That's a beautiful as yourself name you got there Jannie, fits you so well...."

Janus almost barely held himself together after all the flirting from the other though he tried to fucus on something else. The fact that this side called himself Creativity and brother of...Remus?

-"W-wait....Remus' your brother?"

-"Duh, yeah. I thought you existed when we were split and sepereted away from each other...~" He said in similar tone yet now more sentimental.

-"Oh....Right...Now I remember. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was really you, Creativity."

-"That's fine, not many people know anyway. Everyone knows me as Pride now."

-"Mhmm...."

-"Anyways, it was wonderful to meet such a side in this horrible day. You lightened up my mood, sweetheart. Although now unfortunately I got to go, don't wanna get my ass kicked for a second time, huh?"

Roman now joked around again as Janus now nodded sadly, piting the fact that the other side could get beaten again.

-"Okay....Bye Roman."

-"Bye, Honey-Jannie"

Roman waved as he now headed out and dissapeated.

_______________________________

Although the weird behavior that Roman had Janus finds him...cunningly handsome.

(Since he's basically a slut for praise from the canon then- Okay I'll shut up about this one, I'm sorry)

Janus gets all lovey flustered when he receives the flirty compliments from the other, even if it's more of trickery.

It's still flirting, just the intentions of claiming worry Janus.

As much as he does have the great crush back for Roman, he doesn't want to leave Virgil or Remus alone, they are his best friends and he can't just say that he's in love with Remus' brother and just leave.

So he stays.

Although Roman doesn't like this part very much, he literally does everything for Janus to finally admit that he's his.

Roman never gives up on his plan.

And neither does Janus on his friends...

Tags:

@child-you-need-sleep

@koalas-in-coffee

@star-crossed-shipper

@temptasiaofdarkness

[aventurasdeunatortuga]

Laredo Part 2

Week 1

Hey friends,

After a long travel hiatus, as some of you may already know, I am back in Laredo, Texas. I’ll be here for about 3.5 weeks working with shelters to support recently arrived asylum seekers at the US Mexico border. I was here 2 years ago doing the same thing, you can go through the laredo tag on here to get some more background about what is going on here and to read about my experiences in 2019.

I have been here already for about a week and have been so exhausted I haven’t had the energy to write anything, but here is more or less what is going on.

So since Fall of 2019, the border was closed to all asylum seekers thanks to 45’s cruel Remain In Mexico policy, which forced asylum seekers from Central America to wait along the Mexican border for an undetermined amount of time until they could get an immigration hearing. In the past asylum seekers could wait with their families in the US for their court dates (it can be a long wait). Waiting at the border in Mexico, a country they are not from, left folks vulnerable to human trafficking, kidnapping, gang violence, and extortion from the cartels operating along the border. During COVID folks were living in makeshift tents along the border with no running water and were left vulnerable to exposure, flooding, disease, dangerous wildlife, and the millions of other dangers that come from being outside in 113 degree heat with no water. There was no international aid brought in and support was limited to the few aid workers allowed to cross the border, which was very dangerous given the amount of gang violence on the Mexican side. One shelter director in Nuevo Laredo was kidnapped and murdered last year.

When Biden was elected, he reversed the Remain In Mexico policy just a few weeks into his presidency. Meaning that asylum seekers could now enter the US after surrendering at the border and being held for indeterminate amounts of time in ICE detention centers. Once they are released from there they are given a court date in wherever their final destination in the US is, but are left on the street with nothing.

Most folks are illiterate, none speak English and some only speak indigenous dialects. All of their possessions and money have been taken by either cartels or by ICE. Most havent eaten in days and many are seriously ill. None of them know where they are or how to get where they’re going. ICE will drop them off at random towns along the border after releasing them from detention, sometimes hundreds of miles from where they crossed. They just have a name and phone number memorized of a friend or family member in the US that is sponsoring them and who they are planning to stay with.

The vast majority of folks are from Central America, they are fleeing cartel violence , government persecution, extreme poverty, and natural disasters caused by climate change. The instability in these countries (Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and El Salvador) was caused directly by US intervention, but that’s a whole other topic I won’t get into now. Folks must show a credible proof of being threatened or persecuted in their home country to even be granted the status of asylum seeker and to be given a court date.

Shelters in border towns do what they can to support folks being released from detention. They help them make phone calls, provide translation, help them buy bus and plane tickets, give them food, water, medical care, showers, clean clothes, toiletries, and a safe place to sleep until they are able to make travel arrangements to their final destinations.

During the last 2 years under the Remain In Mexico policy, no one was being admitted and so shelters lost a great deal of funding, staff, and volunteers. They turned more towards community work, which was especially needed during COVID.

Shelters are in a difficult position now though, folks are allowed to enter now which is good news but shelters are having to meet even more extreme needs with far fewer resources than they had pre-COVID.

For a long time the shelter I worked with before, La Frontera, was closed due to lack of funding; but only very recently reopened again. I have been spreading my time between La Frontera (run by Catholic charities) and the other shelter in Laredo, Holding Institute Community Center, which is a community center run by the Methodist Church. Both of these shelters have 2-3 paid staff members, a revolving door of volunteers from around the country (the majority of them nuns), are entirely donation based, and receive 200-300 new people every single day.

About 20-30% of each busload of people that ICE drops off are infected with COVID. ICE refuses to test folks that they detain for COVID because if they knew they had positive cases they would have to provide healthcare and a place for them to quarantine. Instead they lump everyone together in cramped conditions and COVID is allowed to run rampant in these detention centers.

In detention folks are kept in overcrowded rooms, communicated with almost exclusively in English, are provided limited food and toiletries, and are kept in refrigerated rooms (65 degrees) with no blankets. These places are called the ‘ice boxes’. Sometimes folks are separated from their families here as well.

Lately there has also been a dysentery outbreak due to the fact that the city of Laredo does not currently have drinkable water, residents are advised to drink only bottled or boiled water, which asylum seekers do not have access to until they reach the shelters.

When folks reach the shelters, they are given on the spot covid tests by a team of nurses and public health officials. There is no room for them at the hospitals, even if there were room hospitals wouldnt accept them because they have no insurance. The city government has offered bottled water to the shelters but thats it.

After being tested for covid, the health team divides folks into 2 groups, positive and negative. Folks who test positive have to quarantine for 10 days in an empty warehouse next door to the shelter or if they’re lucky and the shelter can afford it, a motel. Yesterday the shelter bought out a motel because there were 200+ covid patients who arrived. We have two small classrooms at the shelter that have been converted into sleeping areas for about 40 covid patients. The medical team leaves boxes of food and clothing outside their door, and once a day they are taken to shower and then the entire bathroom is sanitized.

Those who test negative are immediately vaccinated on site, and then taken to get clean clothes, food, and a shower. They sleep on cots outside under the trees in the fenced courtyard of the shelter.

For the first few days I’ve been here, I’ve been working at Holding only because I didn’t know La Frontera had reopened. I was mainly working on sorting and organizing clothing and helping folks find clothes that they need. Last night though 200+ covid positive patients arrived and we had to stop allowing people in the building to pick out clothes, and today we moved to just putting together kits of different sized clothes to give directly to them.

I was feeling a bit frustrated the last few days because the staff member in charge of organizing donations was being extremely critical of me and it was very frustrating and degrading to be around. I was yelled at a number of times by her. For example, I saw a pile of 200 towels on the ground and folded them. I was told that I did it wrong, to unfold them and fold all of them a different way. Or I started organizing toiletries and was just told ‘no, you’re messing it up, don’t touch that’. I understand that I’m new but no one took the time to introduce themselves to me, orient me, or show me what to do and I was trying to be helpful. I also understand that folks are stressed and under pressure but please don’t take it out on people trying to help you. Most everyone there is extremely nice it was just one of the staff members in particular that was acting this way. I was told I wasn’t allowed to give water or shoes to people who needed them because “I didn’t know how to do it” and because “if you give water to one person, everyones going to want it, and i don’t have time for that”. I didn’t come down here to sit inside doing nothing next to a giant case of bottled water and be told I’m not allowed to give it to the thirsty person in front of me.

So I walked out and I left the shelter in the middle of the day to go drive around town and take a breather, because everything I did seemed like made someone upset. When I came back I inserted myself into the kitchen crew and ended up making 200+ sandwiches for dinner. I also had a long talk with one of the nuns who assured me that that staff member is like that with everyone and has a lot of control issues due to the amount of pressure she is under, and not to take it personally. She told me that La Frontera had reopened and so ever since then I started dividing up my days between the two shelters. This has made a big difference and I feel a lot better and more useful.

I also connected more with some of the nuns here and they invited me to dinner tonight which was nice. One of the sisters is writing a book based on narratives of folks passing through these shelters and is interviewing people she meets. It was fascinating to talk to her. She has worked with undocumented immigrants and DREAMers from around the country for 28 years, and wrote another book based on those experiences called Silent Voices In The Shadows (Paula Schwendinger), which I just finished reading and highly recommend.

Oh, also it has been raining really hard for the past day or so with 95% humidity and constant thunder and lightening, which has made things even more interesting.

I will try to keep posting semi regularly while I’m here.

[wakaoujisenhime]

Fairytales - Natsuo x reader

Synopsis: One night after escaping the usual family drama, Natsuo - the god of snow - meets you on a park’s bench. The two of you immediately click and he seriously considers revealing the fact of who he really is, anticipating nothing but support and understanding from your side. But what he never expected was rejection... 

A/N: So this is my second work for the bookclub! I’m actually quite nervous since I’m not that familiar with Natsuo’s character so I’m sorry in advance if I didn’t do him justice! (◞‸◟；) 

Furthermore, I’d like to thank (and tag) a couple of the members who showed interest in my story and supported it along the way! A BIG thanks to @bnha-homeroom​ , @hanniejji​ , @wesparklebitch​ , @redbeanteax​ I hope you guys are going to enjoy it! ❤️  

tags/warnings: Natsuo x reader ✅  SFW ✅  angst (like a LOT) ✅ mention of abuse and death ✅   

image/art source: Twitter (art by sakurai0329)

prompt: “You can’t ignore me forever”

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Natsuo was a member of the most famous family of gods and goddesses - the Todorokis.

The reason for their success and popularity amongst the other entities was because of their recently obtained ability to combine two absolutely contradictory elements, namely fire and ice.

To be more specific, the only family member who achieved this rare ability was Natsuo’s younger brother Shoto. 

Unfortunately, this didn’t mean that the rest of his siblings could lean back and cheer the youngest sprout on, no...now there were even higher expectations for the other three. 

“There’s no way you can let your youngest brother surpass you! Work harder, become stronger, become the strongest, and prove to me that your birth wasn’t a mistake.”

Having to hear such words every single day was not only vexing but also painful and their father’s indifference towards their feelings made it even worse. 

Not long after the eldest brother deserted his family and swore to never return, no matter what might happen to either him or them. 

After his leave though, everything started going downhill…

Their mother fell into a state of madness and pure hatred for her own husband. She even held such a deep grudge against him, that one day she unintentionally took her anger out on Shoto, scarring him for life in the process.

When her female role model of a mother was taken away from her, Fuyumi instantly knew that as the only daughter of the Todoroki family she was now expected to succeed her in almost every way possible.

Seeing his elder sister’s and younger brother’s suffering, Natsuo needed a break from it all so he did what he’d always done in dire times like this.

Go down to the human world.

He’d visited many places all over the entire globe, but Japan was the only country that made him genuinely feel welcome whenever he decided to drop by.

Right now the busy streets of Tokyo should’ve been covered by snow, but thanks to all that was going on at their home he hadn’t found the time to use his powers and dye the dark streets and alleys of this city in a purer white than his hair’s.

While he was sitting on a secluded bench, observing the countless walking people hurrying to get back home he let out a deep sigh.

“You don’t want to go back home, do you?”

The sudden voice startled Natsuo. His grey eyes immediately locked onto the source that was standing some meters away from him, the moment he saw you the retort he had prepared was instantly forgotten.

The young man had never seen such a beautiful human in his entire life, your looks, as well as your aura, had stunned him so much that he forgot how to talk for a slight second.

“Y-Yeah...how did you know?”, he stuttered. 

Your silent giggle was like music to his ears, but the moment he came to the conclusion that you were most likely mocking him, his cheeks turned bright red. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you...I just wanted to ask if it was ok for me to sit down next to you.”

“But of course! Please go ahead...”

Even though you were sitting next to him, Natsuo remained as silent as he had been the moments before your arrival. 

Today marked the first day a human had actually talked to him and even if he was extremely happy on the insides, he didn’t know how to show it on the outside. Luckily you noticed how tense he’d become so you took it upon yourself to lighten up the mood.

“Tokyo is way prettier when there’s snow around, don’t you think?” 

A nod.

“There’s something about it, that turns this busy city into a surprisingly calmer one.”

Another nod.

“The snow two years ago saved my life, you know…?”

There was no reaction just...silence.

You took a deep breath and even if you weren’t sure why you intended to talk about your problems in life with a complete stranger, you just did it. 

The talk started with your father’s high hopes that suffocated you every single day, about him being unhappy if your test score was below a B+, how your father would scold you for many hours and sometimes even raise his hand at you or your mother and to wrap things up, you talked about how your mother couldn’t tolerate his behavior any longer and had left you alone with your father. 

When you finished your monologue, you weren’t expecting a reaction from him, but as soon as you glanced to the side you were more than just surprised. 

That young man was directly looking at you with teary eyes and a slightly agape mouth, you could even see his lower lip tremble slightly...it was as if he was trying his hardest not to cry.

Natsuo was genuinely touched by your story since it resembled his own so perfectly well. 

It now made sense why you guessed correctly about the reason he was sitting alone on the park bench. 

So to thank you for sharing that story with him, he returned the gesture and told you about his family situation as well.

“Sounds like both our families are quite messed up, huh?”

“Indeed...”

The tension between Natsuo and you was gone and a long conversation began…

——

“What happened to you brother? You look quite happy!”

The chirpy voice of his older sister disrupted the young man’s thoughts. He was hesitant to talk about you...at least for now, so he just brushed her question off and went to his room.

You guys had talked for almost two hours and the talk would’ve continued if your father hadn’t interfered by calling your phone. 

Before saying goodbye Natsuo asked if he could meet you the following day to which you of course answered with a happy and loud ‘yes’. 

He has never talked to a human before and to think that his first meeting would go so well, surprised him so much that he wondered if this meeting was perhaps supposed to be fate.

Since then the two of you started meeting at the same bench every single day. One time you would be the one to wait for him to arrive and the other time it was his role to anticipate your appearance. 

It was surprising how easily you guys found topics to talk about when you were together and that was a first for both of you. 

For Natsuo, it was as if he had found the puzzle piece he was missing for his entire life. The moment he saw your face always made him feel like seeing the sun rise upon the horizon, paired with your laugh and smile it made him forget any sad or upsetting thing that happened on that day. He was so thankful that you had spoken to him back when he warmed the bench on his own and the question of how to make it up to you occupied his mind on a daily basis.

Flowers? A small gift? A date? Whatever he thought of seemed way to less for such a big presence like you. 

Was there even something you wanted or desired from him? 

He had no idea, but he was willing to give you something he had never given anyone ever before, his heart as well as his deepest secret - namely that he was the god of snow.

——

“I’m sorry! You must’ve been waiting for me for quite some time Natsuo!”

“Oh no (Y/N)! Don’t worry, I just got here myself.”

That was a lie he prayed you weren’t able to see through and apparently luck was on his side today.

It all started like any other day. 

The usual greeting at the same bench from where the two of you were able to see the countless people walking past you and even if the sight and situation were so familiar...Natsuo was perhaps the most nervous he had been up until now.

While you were sharing today’s experiences with him, he was thinking about how to reveal his true identity to you. As soon as your eyes landed on his bend over form he knew that the time had come…

“(Y/N)...what do you think of gods?” 

“Gods? Now that’s a peculiar question...”

The way your fingers rubbed your chin made you resemble one of those famous detectives he had seen on TV, it should’ve been therapeutic but for him, that motion was nothing but torture.

“I don’t believe in those fairytales.”, you said in a low voice.

That answer broke his heart into a million pieces and left him behind with the feeling of betrayal. He thought that if there was someone who’d accept him the way he was, then that person would’ve been you. 

So why?

Why were you rejecting their existence? His existence?

While you explained your point of view, he didn’t listen to any word or sentence you uttered, he instead hunched over more and covered his mouth with his trembling hands, the gesture catching your attention and making you break your speech off in worry.

“Hey, is everything alright? You look so pale all of a sudden.”

Your normally warm hand that was placed on his shoulder was now colder than the coldest of ice he’s ever felt. On any other day, your touch would’ve made him so happy, but not today.

“I-I’m good...no worries.”

Despite neither believing in him nor in his answer, you choose to nod and remain silent.

What you’ve done by answering the question like you did was beyond your imagination.

You see, for gods like Natsuo or the rest of his family members, the faith and belief in their presence were crucial to their existence. But not every human’s opinion mattered...only the opinion of a chosen person was of importance. And you were that person for him. 

Fuyumi had warned him about making that decision, afraid that it might prove to be a quite premature one, but her younger brother didn’t even listen. His trust in you had blinded him up to the point of carelessness. And now...he had to reap what he had sowed.

The reason why Fuyumi had warned him about that hasty decision of his was because of the deadly risk that followed in case the chosen one rejected their god. 

Every time Natsuo would now look at you, he’d end up remembering your hurtful words and that would take away one piece of his soul, shortening his life in the process. 

Gods are immortal.

That’s a statement a lot of humans believe in and it contained the truth..to a certain degree at least.

Those immortal beings humankind spoke of so highly were the type that had fought all life long for acceptance and was now an absolute component of the humans’ religious history. 

While the Todorokis and some similar families were merely gifted with just one special ability, those indestructible deities’ powers on the other hand knew no limit.         

You don’t want to go back home, do you? 

The snow two years ago saved my life, you know…?

Sounds like both our families are quite messed up, huh?

I don’t believe in those fairytales…

All those things you had said to him played back in his mind like a broken record, reminding him of all conversations you guys had and hurting him in the process.

Natsuo tried to stop thinking about you but had to give up soon after realizing that you weren’t just a friend to him.

It was just a matter of days and the normally vibrant and cheerful young man was looking awfully tired and feeble. Those shiny grey eyes of his were now dull and had the darkest of circles enhancing them. 

His family was already preparing themselves for this boy’s death. 

Tears were spilled, accusations were spoken and the last embraces were done. 

After Fuyumi had applied some makeup onto his face, she helped him into an elegant attire, preparing him for what might perhaps be his last day on earth.

“Are you really sure that you want to meet with (Y/N) in that state?”

The boy simply nodded and responded in a silent voice: “Yes...I’d be rude of me to just up and leave without a proper goodbye.”

His older sister had to bite her lip in order to hide the tears that were dreading to roll down her cheeks.

You don’t deserve this pain Natsuo…

With weak and slow steps the said young man walked the same path he took the first day he had come to Tokyo. His eyes registered the unchanging mass of people and made him crack a small and barely noticeable smile - perhaps the first one since long ago. 

It was just a matter of seconds for you to arrive after he’d taken a seat on the bench to preserve some strength for the rest of the evening.

“I’m sorry! You must’ve been waiting for me for quite some time!”

“N-No not at all...I just got here.”

This time this wasn’t a lie.

Your plan for tonight was to show Natsuo your favorite places and maybe give him some recommendations along the way.

During your walk, you quickly noticed that the young man next to you wasn’t in his top form. You had barely even left the park and he was already sweating while desperately trying to hide the fact that an easy task like breathing had become quite the challenge for him.

You noticed of course, so you decided to walk a tad slower, hoping that this would help.

Throughout the entire tour, he remained quiet and absent-minded which discouraged you and let your mind wander off about the reason for his silence. 

Is he perhaps mad about the answer I gave him some weeks ago? 

Your eyes gazed as unobtrusive as possible to your side, eyeing the man who very much appreciated your slow pace.

I didn’t know Natsuo would be that religious…

You weren’t the type of person to lie just to make someone happy, at least not all the time and besides...changing your opinion now would obviously be mare lip service.

Instead, you decided to cut your explanations short and even leave out some of your favorite places.

Let’s try the tour again when he feels better…

Half an hour later and the two of you terminated the expedition under a sole street light that illuminated the upcoming turn for the cars.

“Alright then Natsuo, that was it. I hope you liked it and it wasn’t too boring for you.”

“Y-Yeah, no...it w-was ok- I mean it was interesting...yeah”

You had to force yourself to smile as you watched him scratch the back of his neck out of embarrassment.

So he didn’t like it, huh..?

God...why does this have to be our last meeting…

“So (Y/N)...I wanted to thank you.”

The surprised look on your face made him smile. Your heart skipped a soft beat out of relief to finally see that beautiful smile of his.

“You’ve shown me a part of your world and I really loved spending all those nights with you. E-Even if our time was quite short I was- no I am still happy to have made your acquaintance.” 

It appeared quite suspicious of him to use the past tense and it seemed to you as if he was intending on leaving for a long time. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to ask him since he straight out left after bowing and bidding you a silent farewell.

“Y-Yeah...until we meet again, Natsuo.”

——

The young man’s back leaned against the cold surface of a building’s wall as he tried to prolong what appeared to be his last heartbeats... 

He looked at his trembling hand and as his attempt to move his fingers appeared to be futile, he bit his lower lip in frustration.

Although he couldn’t even walk properly anymore, Natsuo began moving with one goal in mind.

I want to see it…

I want to see (Y/N)’s home... 

If I can’t convince you with words, then I’ll just show you…

I’ll show you that we exist...that I exist 

You can’t ignore me forever...and that’s what I’m about to prove to you…

Wait for me…

...(Y/N)

——

“I’m home!”, you called upon entering your beloved home which you sadly had to share with the man you called father.

Luckily he wasn’t home yet, so you sighed in relief as you headed towards your room.

Upon opening the door, you were in complete awe as you looked outside of your window.

“It’s snowing?”

A wide smile spread across your face the moment you looked out into the night.

I can’t wait to show Natsuo how our park looks like when it’s covered by snow!

You started humming to yourself anticipating your next meetup but missing the white-haired young man lying motionless some feet underneath your window.

The snow that landed on his pale skin covered him like a blanket. 

Comforting him…

Hiding his tears…

Blurring his view…

I hope the ending of this fairytale was to your liking…(Y/N) 

[talpup]

Lost Song:12

Summary: The war between the Dragons and Griffons ended 233 years ago, and both races right along with it.

Or so it was believed. There are three individuals that will soon change that.

Kai is the last of the Dragons and he seeks to take what he sees as his rightful place and rule over all of Oblvi. Meanwhile, Shouta, the last Sphinx, wants nothing more than to do his job; keep the peace and and teach the young Fourth’s to hopefully avoid the mistakes of their ancestors. And Teris, a Foundling who is just trying to understand and survive in this strange new world that is supposedly her own.

All three have their own wants and desires, but Kai’s plans, Teris’ existence, and Shouta's past mean that none of them may get what they want.

This fic is rated explicit and has warnings of sex, violence, and other possible triggers.  For a full list of story tags please check the fics AO3 (link to that at the top of my tumblrs homepage).

12.1

Kai exited a side door and met up with Hari.  Whiffs of smoke blew from the Dragon’s nostrils at the memory of Teris and Shouta's arms brushing while the two stood side by side, the Sphinx regularly moving to shield Teris from his view.  Teris might be part of Shouta's Ilca.  But she was his.   And yet Shouta had managed to keep her by him the entire gathering.

He had no doubt Shouta had given Teris that dull, disgusting bracelet. The thing wasn’t even worthy of being on some detestable mutt Hybrid like Nedzu.  It certainly didn’t belong on a proud, pure blood Beast like Teris.

Kai swore that if he hadn’t killed the Sphinx by the time he reclaimed his throne.  The first order of his reign would be to end Aizawa, finally do away with all Sphinx kind.

The only thing that had gotten Kai through the trying afternoon was imagining what he would do to Teris this evening after Ryuu left.  He imagined her pretty lips wrapped around his cock.  Making her look at him as he fucked her sweet face.  She had done well in combating Shouta's attempt at keeping her from agreeing to dinner.  But she had stayed by Shouta's side.  Had accepted Aizawa's gift and worn it.  For that she would be punished. And Kai could think of no better punishment than having her choke on his cock.  It wasn’t as if he could punish her more directly.  At least not yet.  Though the thought of spanking her ass raw and fucking her from behind while she screamed his name and cried out in apology was something he looked forward to doing when things progressed.

“Did you find out who was doing the inspection?”  Kai questioned.

Uneasy as he was, Hari bravely met Kai’s eyes.  “We did our best.”

“And was your best good enough?”  Kai asked, knowing if it had been Hari would've answered with a name.

Hari swallowed and shook his head.  “No, Sir.  I’m sorry and take full responsibility for the failure--”

Kai’s hand wrapped around the Arepyiai’s throat cutting off his words and air supply.  “You’re damned right you’ll take full responsibility.  I left it to you to see the Ilca learned who was doing Teris’ inspection. Yet you’re telling me you’ve failed.  That out of my nine Ilca members no one was able to discover a simple name?”

Hari gurgled, but to his credit didn’t attempt to fight off Kai’s choking grip.

The Dragon’s eyes slitted.  Gold scales appeared along the back of his hand.  Nails lengthened into deadly talons that pierced Hari’s skin.  “How am I suppose to threaten or buy a person off if I don’t know who they are?  Do you like the idea of my future mate being subjected to some filthy Fourth's roving gaze?  Maybe you’d prefer Teris undress and walk the grounds of Traverseen Hall for all to see?”

Hari shook his head as best he could.

“What part of mine do you not understand?  Teris is mine. No one should be allowed to look upon her but me.  And yet because of your failure--”  Sensing someones eyes on him, Kai turned.

Hizashi sucked in a breath, emerald eyes widening further. He had been waiting out in the garden for Oboro to return.  The Venti said he had a gift for him.  Hizashi hadn’t meant to listen in.  In fact he hadn’t heard anything.

Teris had said Kai was kind and gentle.  But what Hizashi saw was far gentle and kind.  He stupidly ducked behind a shrub as if he and the Dragon hadn’t already locked eyes.  He had wondered why Shouta didn’t like Kai. The Sphinx always admonishing Teris on what time she was to return from lessons with Kai; as if she were some child with a curfew.  Was this why?  Because Shouta knew Kai was violent and harsh?

Kai’s eyes returned to human.  The scales on his hand disappeared.  Talons shrinking back to nails.

Releasing Hari, Kai took out a handkerchief and he wiped his hand clean. “Return to the dorm.  I’ll deal with you later.”

“Yes, Sir.”  Hari nodded.

“And Hari.”  Kai called.

Hari turned back.

“Set another place for dinner.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Cursing his lack of care, Kai made his way to the distant shrub. “Hizashi.  Isn’t it?”

Hizashi’s eyes squeezed shut.  Where was Oboro?  He sheepishly stepped out from behind the bush. “Yeah.  And you’re Kai, right?  The one tasked with instructing Teris.”

“Teris makes it more of a pleasure than a task.” Kai said, wondering what if anything the Hybrid overheard.

Hizashi's eyes darted about looking for someone to come to his aid.  He was usually great with meeting new people.  But after what he saw...

“About what you heard--”

“I didn’t hear anything.”  Hizashi said.

Relieved, Kai went on.  “Well, I’m sorry you had to see that.  I tend to take sterner measures when the protection of a ladies virtue is at stake.”

Hizashi's lowered ears lifted and twitched.  “A ladies virtue?”

“You don’t think I go around treating my Ilca so cruelly all the time do you?  What has Teris been telling you about me?”

“No, no!” Hizashi shook his head.  He laughed, relieved.  Though still unsettled, it gave reason to what he saw.  “Teris speaks rather highly of you.”

A low hummed sounded in Kai’s throat, such things always nice to hear.  “You wouldn’t happen to know who ‘s doing her inspection.  Would you?”

Hizashi frowned and shook his head.  He didn’t know what Teris’ interview and inspection would entail.  But the words coupled with Shouta's darkening mood as today drew near told him it wouldn’t be pleasant.  “I wish she didn’t have to go through it.  It’s all because they can tell she’s some pure blooded beast from an ancient species.  If she were a Hybrid like me and had some telling marker in her human form.  Like my ears.  Maybe they would have some idea what she was and wouldn’t have to go through it.”

Kai’s lips tightened a fraction.  The thought of the dirty Hybrid feeling sorry for Teris and wishing such a disgusting disgrace of mixed blood on her was an insult. “I’m hosting a dinner for her this evening.  Hopefully it will help take her mind off today's ordeal.”

“That—that sounds really nice.”  Hizashi said, wishing he’d thought of it. Maybe Kai wasn’t so bad.

“I’d like for you to come.  I know Teris thinks you a close friend and having you there would undoubtedly make her happy.”

Hizashi brightened.  “Is Shouta going?”

Kai paused but was able to keep his irritation with Hizashi and hate for Shouta from showing.  “The aim is to lighten Teris’ spirits and make her happy.  Do you think his presence would aid in that?”

Hizashi's smile fell.  It would if the two quit being so stubborn and admitted their feelings for each other, he thought. But as things currently stood, Kai had a point.  “Do you like her?”

“That’s a rather personal question.”  Kai replied.

“She’s my friend.”

“Which is why I would like us to get to know each other.”  Kai said.

“So you do like her.”  Hizashi said.

Kai wasn’t about to belittle his feelings to something as juvenile as like.  Nor was he willing to tell Hizashi his plans to Bond with Teris; fully aware the Hybrid would tell her and Teris wasn’t ready to hear it.  Instead, Kai said.  “I want to see Teris happy and think she deserves the best, same as you.  More than that I can and will give her those things and more.”

Hizashi wasn’t sure how he felt about Kai liking Teris.  Sure he had suspected it.  And with the way Teris talked, he could tell she had a bit of a crush on Kai in return.  But he had seen Teris and Shouta together.  They could be so perfect if only they stopped being so stupid.  Still, it was Teris’ life.  If she chose to be with Kai either for friendly release or as a companion, Hizashi would support her.  So long as Kai was a good guy.  And accepting Kai’s invitation to dinner was just  the chance Hizashi needed to decide if Kai was a good guy.

Thinking a short apology to Shouta, Hizashi smiled. “Thanks for the invite.  I’d love to go.”

“Good. I’ll see you and Teris at six.”  Kai turned away, pleased with the exchange.  Distasteful as it would be having a filthy Hybrid in his Ilca dorm, he was well aware what Hizashi meant to Teris. Winning Hizashi over would only help speed Teris’ sense of ease and comfort which would quicken her acceptance of their eventually mating.

12.2

Shouta glanced at the window gauging the passage of time.  It had been nearly an hour but Teris’ interview felt like it had gone on much longer.  Seated beside her, Shouta hoped the questioning was near its end.  That was until he remembered what awaited her after.  Sharp eyes looked over the five visiting Council Elders seated at the table before them.  He wondered which Elder would be doing Teris’ inspection.  Much as he hoped it would be His Purple Highness, Shouta wasn’t holding his breath.  He was never that lucky.

Along with the five visiting Council members was Elder Yagi.  Also a member of the Council, the Talos was acting more as host for these proceedings than anything else.  At the end of the long table was Director Nedzu and Arbitrator Todoroki Enji, who were there more as witnesses to the interview and hadn’t said a word unless direct questions were asked of them.

Facing the line of Council members felt more like facing a firing squad. Though few questions were asked of him, Shouta couldn’t shake the invading memories of his own interview.  The fear his younger self had felt got the best of him twice already.  Making his heart hammer till the rush of blood drummed in his ears drowning everything else out.

“Tell us, Aizawa.  Has Teris shown any hinting of her true form?  Scales? Feathers?  Fur?”  Destro asked.

“No.” Shouta lied without pause or regret.

“Why don’t you speak plainly and just ask if she’s shown sign of being a Griffon, Dragon, or Sphinx?”  Ryuko asked the Basilisk.

Eyes on Shouta, Destro prodded.  “Well?  Has she?”

“No.” Shouta said.

“Having once served the Dragons and raised one myself.  I can say with certainty that our young Foundling here is not a Dragon.”  Ryuu said.

“Nor is she a Sphinx.”  His Purple Highness put in.

“And what about a Griffon?”  Destro questioned.

Shouta’s fingers twitched, eyes on some distant detail in apparent disinterest.

His Purple Highness looked at Destro. The Basilisk’s might’ve served the Dragons during the Dragon-Griffon war.  But Destro had become leader of the species after the Fall of Crowns.  Whether it was because Destro had been leader for only 233yrs and felt the need to prove himself. Or because the Basilisk truly held such beliefs. Destro had been the most vocal Council member when Shouta and Kai faced the Elders. He vehemently argued the then young Sphinx and Dragon should be put to death for the sake of continued peace.

“The Griffon’s are dead.  A lost species.”  Mera said, wishing for the interview to end so he could go to his rooms and sleep.

“So were the Sphinx's and Dragons until Ryuu and His Purple Highness found and saw different.”  Ryuko said.  The Amphiteres might’ve served the Dragons during the war.  But Ryuko liked to think she and her species had lost their servant mental to the Dragons; while holding no animosity against Kai for his species past deeds.  “What’s to say Elder Yagi hasn’t done the same?”

Yagi coughed.  The Talos’ long ago injury that was slowly killing him making him cough blood into a handkerchief.

“May I remind you, Yagi didn’t find Teris.  She was found in earth and brought to Oblvi by a Derrick.  You can hardly fault Yagi for that.  Or did you young ones forget Traverseen Hall was build near one of the only two physical gateways connecting Oblvi to earth?” His Purple Highness asked.

Ryuko didn’t mind being called a young one. When one had lived as long as His Purple Highness, everyone was young.  Still, she didn’t like her intelligence being called into question.  “I’m aware.”

“So why question if Yagi’s done the same?  Surely you’re aware any Foundlings or issues coming through either gateway are handled by the area Elder.  Yagi just happened be unfortunate Teris was brought through the gateway here. It’s not as if he didn’t inform the rest of us immediately.” His Purple Highness said.

“Unlike some.”  Destro remarked.

“I informed the Council of my finding Shouta as soon as I was able.” The Dryad King said.

“After you unspelled him.”  Destro said.

“I’m flattered you think my physique strong enough to carry a stoned Sphinx through an untamed forest and back home.”  His Purple Highness sarcastically flirted.  “It’s not as if I secretly hatched a Dragon egg and raised the youngling for several years before informing the other Elders.”

Ryuu frowned at the Dryad.  “Your species served the Griffons during the war.”

“And yours served the Dragons.  Save for the Sphinx's, there isn’t a species of Fourth that wasn’t guilty of choosing a side.  And every single one of us here helped hunt the Sphinx's down for it during the war.” His Purple Highness said.

“Is that why you unspelled the Sphinx?  Out of some sense of guilt?” Destro asked.

“This is an interview about the Foundling.  Can we please stay on target and get this over with?”  Mera murmured, tired eyes slipping closed.

Looking at His Purple Highness, Ryuu went on. “You were quite high up the ranks, if I remember. A close and trusted friend of the Griffon King.”

“That was a long time ago.”  His Purple Highness said.

“But surely you remember well enough what the Griffon species smells like. All we’re looking for is some assurance Teris isn’t one.”  Ryuu said.

Shouta's eyes lifted to his mentor.  Air catching in his lungs he force himself to breathe.

Everyone at the long table, seated across from Shouta and Teris, turned to the Dryad King.  Destro and Ryuu leaned forward to get a better look at the Fourth.

His Purple Highness stared at Ryuu.  There was a toying glint in the Tengu’s challenging gaze.  With a blink His Purple Highness realized Ryuu somehow knew Teris was a Griffon.  How?  And why wasn’t he outing her?  Was Ryuu setting him up to deny Teris was Griffon in attempt to claim he was a sympathizer to the fallen crowns and traitor to the Council?

“Well?” Mera pressed, eager to be done.

“Teris’ hereditary scent smells like no Griffon I’ve ever smelled.”  His Purple Highness truthfully said.

Ryuu’s shimmering eyes smiled at the Dryad King.  His Purple Highness expected a follow up question to try and ensnare him.

Instead Ryuu blocked further questions before anyone could ask them. “Well, I’m satisfied.  If no one has anything further?  Good.”

Mera was already standing and gathering his papers.  “In that case. We’re done.  Director Nedzu, thank you for the use of the room. Thank you everyone for your time.”

“And her inspection?”  Destro looked after the already departing Mera.

“Happening in the next room over.”  Mera said with wave and a yawn.

Mera gone, Ryuko looked at the fellow Elders. “So who’s doing it?”

Shouta's shoulders sunk.  There went his hope Teris would be inspected by the sole woman in the group.

Teris was so relieved the interview was over she didn’t hear the name of the Fourth inspecting her.  She felt Shouta tense beside her.

Lips hidden by his capture weapon, Shouta attempted to assure the both of them. “It’ll be alright.”

Teris barely heard Shouta’s murmur.  His deep timber a comforting balm while his words set her back on edge.  What had she missed?  Who was doing the inspection?

Getting to his feet, Shouta turned and held a hand out to her. “Just keep the bracelet on.  Understand?”

Teris nodded.  Her eyes lowered to Shouta's upturned hand.

For a second Shouta thought she wouldn’t take it.  He silently cursed himself for the unthought action.  But then Teris’ warm hand nestled in his. Shouta's nerves ignited in delight. His fingers curled around hers.  He pulled her to her feet and didn’t let go.  Turning around he led her out the room and down the hall to the next door.

Teris rushed to keep up with Shouta's longer stride.  Grateful when he stopped, she faced him, breathing hard.

“Out of breath from a short trek.  We should train more.”  Shouta murmured.

Teris weakling tried to pulled her hand out of his. “I know you’re an ass.  But you’re just saying that to irk and take my mind off things.”

“Is it working?”

“No.”

Shouta stepped to her, hand letting go of hers to wrap around her waist. “How about now?”

Teris’ face heated.  The Sphinx wasn’t playing fair.  “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Shouta hummed.

Teris shivered, feeling the deep vibration of his chest.

Shouta's other hand slinked up her arm.  “Should I up my game?”

“Are you capable of it?”

Shouta chuckled, lowly. “Oh, Kitten.  I’m getting up right now.”

He held her tighter.  His hardening length prodding her pelvis.  Teris sucked in a breath.  Her legs squeezed together, hips dancing.

Shouta bit back a groan.  There had been something he wanted to tell her. Something important.  But he couldn’t think with her rubbing against him.  The smell and warmth of her overwhelmed in the best of ways, drowning everything else out.  “Keep the bracelet on.”

“You already said that.”  Teris breathed.

Shouta swallowed, trying to remember what he wanted to say.  His head began to dip, eyes focused on her tantalizing lips. Teris’ head lifted, tilting ever so slightly.

The door behind her opened.  Shouta's head jerked up. Teris turned.  Eyes widening, she pressed back into Shouta.

Remembering what he wanted to say Shouta whispered into the back of her head. “Whatever the reason, if it becomes too much.  Leave. I’ll be waiting out here and will deal with whatever may come.”

Teris looked back at him.  She knew Shouta, like Kai, was watched by the Council.  But until today she hadn’t realized the Council's goodwill still determined their continued existence.  If Shouta went against the Council…

“Are you ready?”  A male voice asked.

Shouta looked at the man, fighting a low growl.  How the hell was the Anzu preforming the inspection?  He wasn’t an Elder.  He merely worked for the Council.

Straightening her back, Teris turned and met Hawks’ gold eyes.  Shouta felt a wave a pride at the way she fearlessly faced the Anzu.

Hawks watched Teris step to him. Holding her breath, she passed him and entered the room.  Hawks’ eyes flicked to Shouta.  He smiled at the Sphinx.  Shouta's lip twitched, battling a snarl.  The Anzu cocked his head at Shouta's unaffected stare.

“Feel free to go about your day.  This may take a while. I plan on being exceedingly thorough.” Hawks goaded.

Shouta's hands balled into fists in his pockets.  Claws formed and embedded in his palms.

Hawks’ eyes narrowed a fraction at the non-reaction.  He smiled crookedly and shrugged. “Or stay and use your imagination.”

It took every ounce of restraint Shouta had not to bust down the door as soon as it snapped shut.  The Elders exited the interview room drawing his attention.

While the others filed off in the opposite direction, His Purple Highness made his was to Shouta.

The tension in Shouta's shoulders eased. Annoying as His Purple Highness could be, the Dryad had been something of a parental figure.  Well, more like the embarrassing Uncle that made open innuendos in polite conversation and forgot children were around.  Still, His Purple Highness had done more than unspell him and argue for his life.  He had given Shouta a home.  The beginnings of a new pack to help ease the pain of the one he’d lost.

The Dryad King smiled warmly. “That interview couldn’t have been easy for you.  You did well.”

“It was Teris’ interview.”  Shouta said.

“She did well too.”

“She did.”  Shouta agreed.

“You should tell her.”

“Tell her what?”

“That she did well.”  His Purple Highness said.

Thinking the too proud Griffon likely thought she did well in everything she did, Shouta huffed.  “She already knows.”

As he spoke, the Dryad added, voice mixing with the Sphinx.  “And that you love her.”

Shouta looked at the Fourth and blinked.  “What?”

“What?” His Purple Highness echoed.

Shouta's eyes narrowed at the Dryad’s overly innocent expression.

Certain Shouta had heard him, His Purple Highness went on.  “Still, her interview had to have brought back memories of your own.”

“Maybe a bit.”  Shouta begrudgingly admitted.

“I remember the day I found you hidden in a crevice deep inside that mountain cave.”  His Purple Highness didn’t speak of the cave-ins, rubble, or multiple bones that had once been Shouta's home and pack.  “Curled up and put to stone, you looked so tiny and helpless.  It was clear you had been spelled not just for protection, but out of a great love and sense of hope. Even being put in hibernation during what had surely been a terrifying time, you looked peaceful holding that--”

Shouta's eyebrows furrowed.  He had been holding something?  What?  He didn’t remember holding anything.

His Purple Highness chuckled, trying to cover and divert from the slip. He would tell Shouta about and give him the Griffon feather he’d found him with.  But not now.  It was far too dangerous for both Shouta and Teris.  “You were a dirty mess but still one of the most beautiful and precious things I’ve seen in my life.”

Shouta’s scowled with an embarrassed blush.  He ducked into his capture weapon trying to hide his flushed cheeks.  Grateful his hair covered his warming ears.

“You’re getting sentimental in your old age.”   Shouta muttered dryly.

“Deciding what to do with you was one of the hardest and easiest things I’ve done in my existence.”  Thinking again of Teris’ feather clutched in Shouta's small hand, His Purple Highness said.  “As soon as I unspelled you I thought I’d regret it.  But I never did.  Not even when faced with the fear and anger of my fellow Council Elders.  Even now, after everything. I don’t regret it.”

“You mean after I’ve grown into a gruff grouch?”  Shouta said with a toothy smile most found creepy.

“Well… Now that you mention it…”

The two chuckled.  Shouta's low and short.  His Purple Highness’ light and long.

“I’m almost sorry you’re leaving tomorrow.”  Shouta said.

“Well, now that you mention it.”  The Dryad grinned.

Shouta's expression darkened. “I said almost.”

“A King has duties to his people, Shouta.  There’s a Harvest Moon tomorrow.”

Shouta cursed.  With everything going on, he’d forgotten.

Oblvi had four Harvest Moons a year.  One for each season.  While most species only celebrated one Harvest Moon.  Many elementals and species carrying a tie to the land celebrated all four.  The fall Harvest Moon would be celebrated with bonfires and dancing.  And of course release.

Many revelers would attend in their true form.  It’s why humans took to wearing masks on the day.  To appear like the ‘evil spirits’ they saw and not be set upon.  But that was a long time ago.  Thankfully travel to earth was now limited and illegal without proper pass. Though their were occasionally those that snuck through.

“You should come.  You could use some fun.”  His Purple Highness said.

“Walking around a forest full of loud, excited Fourth's is hardly what I call fun.”  Shouta remarked.

“Hizashi is half High Elf.”

Shouta cursed again.  High Elf’s were connected to the land.  Of course Hizashi would want to and should participate.  The celebration was more than just a festival. It had a physical effect on the Fourth's linked to nature.

“Teris should attend too.”  His Purple Highness said.

“No.” Shouta's heckles rose at the thought of Teris accepting some revelers invitation to participate in the orgy known as the Sowing.

“I understand that Kai is instructing her.  But as her Ilca leader you should be taking part in her learning.”

Shouta's lip twitched, biting back a snarl.  Mind still on the Sowing, he imagined all the ways Kai was instructing her.  It certainly didn’t help that Teris had returned yesterday smelling of sex and Kai.

“Bring your Ilca and just attend for the tamer beginning festivities.” His Purple Highness said. “Think of it as a lesson for Teris, and way to support Hizashi.”

Though he had denied His Purple Highness in the past, Shouta didn’t like to.  He owed the Dryad.  Even now His Purple Highness looked out for him.  The least he could do was suffer an hour or two at the Harvest Moon Festival.

“Fine.” Shouta growled.

12.3

“Alone again.”  Hawks smiled, seductively.

Trying to hide her unease Teris blustered.  “If you kiss me again I’ll kill you.”

“I’m hurt.  Like that lip you bit when I kissed you.  I’m nothing if not professional, Teris.  Now undress.”

“What!” Teris shrunk back clutching the neck of her tank top.  She wished she’d worn more covering clothes.

“It’s an inspection.  What’d you think I’d be looking over?  Your resume?”

Teris swallowed.  Her show of fear was giving him too much power.  The Anzu’s toying smile and dancing eyes told of his enjoyment at her discomfort.  Lowering her hand she met his shimmering gold eyes.

Hawks’ eyes narrowed.  Anger and distress often caused a small show of a Fourth's true form.  It’s probably why the Council Leader decided he would perform Teris’ inspection.  Because he was good at playing with emotions and getting under peoples skin.  But if Teris was going to bury her unease thus denying the opportunity of some display of her true form, then he had no other choice but to go through with the inspection.  Not that he minded.

Teris looked Hawks over in judging distaste.  “So are the Anzu some newly recognized species?  I thought Hybrid’s were the only ones incapable of perfect human form.”

“Wow! Do you speak to Hizashi with that mouth?”

Teris grimaced.  She really didn’t care.  But given how much Kai made of it, thought it would be a sore spot to needle Hawks with.

“My species is a new old.”  Hawks said, conversationally.

“A what?”

“Not new.  Not old.  And definitely not ancient.  The wings and eye markings a show.”  Hawks said of himself.

“Show of what?”  Teris asked.

“You can put on that robe.”  Hawks nodded to a covering hanging off the back of a chair.

“Show of what?”  Teris pressed.

“Do you really wanna draw this out?  Aizawa’s probably stayed standing outside.  Waiting.  Wondering.”

Teris lifted her chin.  “I just want my question answered.  Show of what?”

Hawks smirked.  Proud.  Stubborn.  Entitled.  He ticked the traits off in his head for later scrutiny.  “Undress.”

“Turn around.”

Hawks’ smile grew.  “I’m nothing if not a gentleman.”

Teris huffed.  Hawks slowly turned away.  She took a tentative step to the chair.  Hawks looked over his shoulder making Teris pause.

“Just don’t go stabbing me in the back.”

“I’ll do more than that if you look back again.”  Teris snarled.

“Ooo. Promise!”  Hawks enthused.  His wings opened and lifted creating a sort of screen between them that put Teris at ease.

Teris pulled off the tank top and hastily put on the robe.  Her skin prickled at the touch of the cool silken fabric.  It was shorter than she would've liked.  Coming to just above her mid-thigh.  But at least she wasn’t left in just her underwear.  Not trusting Hawks, Teris turned away undoing her belt and pants.

Red feathers parted ever so slightly, a single gold eye peeking through. Hawks observed Teris’ movements more than her undressing.  There were moments where she was fluid and graceful; like a cat.  And others that reminded him of himself when agitated; quick and staccato.  Bird like.

Back turned to the Anzu, Teris bent and pulled off her pants. Straightening, she felt a presence behind her and spun around.  When had Hawks moved?

“Shall we begin?”  Before Teris could respond, Hawks dropped into a squat in front of her.

Suddenly Hawks wrapped a hand around the back of her ankle and lifted her leg. Teris squeaked.  Her body jerked, toes curling.  Arms stretched out trying to help balance.  She wobbled for a second but quickly steadied herself.

Hawks noted her reactive timing.  And how she didn’t need the nearby chair.  Though there was still no physical display of her true form.

“What the hell!”  Teris squawked.

Interesting. While most voices took on a higher pitch when startled.  There was a melodic chirp to Teris’ voice.

“Just checking your reflexes.”  Hawks sung, Teris’ chirp bringing out the beastly bird in him.  He set down her leg, hand and eyes running up the smooth flesh.

Teris shivered at the touch.  When he got to her mid-thigh she stepped away.

Hawks met her glare with a smile.  “I guess it would be rude to go any further without first buying you dinner.  Other than Kai have you sought release with anyone else?”

“I’ve already done my interview.”

“So that’s a no.”  Hawks declared.  He got to his feet.  “Since I’m staying on at Traverseen Hall for a while.  Feel free to seek me out if you tire of Kai.  Or just want some variety.”

“That’s never gonna happen.”

“I make it a point to never say never.  Extend your arm.”

Teris did so.  Allowing Hawks to push the sleeve of her robe up.  He rotated her arm, hand and eyes examining the same way he had her leg. His fingers skimmed over the bracelet Shouta had given her.  Teris tensed.

Hawks’ eyes narrowed and lifted taking in every minute expression.  His fingers trailed down her palm, opening up her hand.  Head lowering to the pulse point of her wrist, he breathed deeply.  Her hereditary scent was definitely less distinct than it had been yesterday.  And there was a muddled something to it that hadn’t been there before.

While it didn’t matter to him since he’d been unable to recognize her species scent.  He wondered if any of the Council Elders would've been able to tell what she was if not for the obscuring difference.

His eyes focused on the bracelet she wore.  The bracelet that hadn’t been on her wrist yesterday when her species scent was clear and distinctive.  He wondered who gave it to her.  Aizawa was the obvious choice since she hadn’t had it when she’d come from Kai, smelling of sex and the Dragon.  Why would Kai want to muddle her species scent anyway?  Then again, why would Shouta?

A talon sprung from his nail-bed, pricking the pad of Teris’ finger. Teris’ hand jerked back.  She licked the small puncture.  Hawks marked her treatment of the wound.  The list of possible species she could be narrowed by small degrees.

“Take off the robe.”

Teris bared her teethed.  “No.”

Hawks met her challenging glare with a mask of stern command.

“Why’d you give me the thing if you were gonna make me take it off?” Teris asked.  “Trying to lure me into false comfort?  Or do you just like toying with people?”

Like toying with people?  Hawks thought.  No.  But I’m good at it. Trained at it.  Along with a host of other things.  Hawks’ mask of determination melted into one of mock sympathy.  “What the Council giveth the Council can easily taketh away.”

Teris’ eyes widened thinking of Shouta and Kai’s lives.  At Hawks’ smirk, her expression hardened.  “You’re not the Council.”

“You’re right.  But I am working for them.  We all must obey and dance to the Council's tune if we wish to keep our lives and freedom.  Now take off the robe.”

Teris paused.  Caught between fearful compliance and proud defiance.

Seeing her hesitance, Hawks took pity and cajoled.  “I told you.  I’m nothing if not professional.”

“You’ve been far from professional.”

“It’s just a job, Little Bird.”

“Names like that make it seem more than a job.”  Teris glared.

“Have you never enjoyed a job?”  Hawks questioned.  He both hated and loved this one.  Teris was fun.  The puzzle of figuring out what she was a unique challenge.  Only trouble he had with the task was Teris was new to this world.  She wasn’t like the others he’d spied on and lured into traps in the past.  She was truly innocent and unprepared for the ways Oblvi worked and was run.  And he had to pray on that innocence to get his answers.

It’s just a job, Hawks comforted himself.  If he didn’t do it the Council Leader would send someone else, and he’d be ruined.  Never mind what his Secret Boss who ordered him to watch Teris would do.

Suddenly Hawks was in her face.  Teris pulled her head back only to have Hawks grab under her jaw, fingers pinching in her cheeks.  He pulled her forward.  Their noses almost touching.  Hawks’ eyes darted over her face.  His hair tickled her forehead.

Teris’ breath caught in her throat.  Her eyes widened, unfocusing.  The action was reminiscent of the way the scarred man use to grab and examine her, spitting terrifying words in her face.

Hawks’ wings sagged.  No sign of her true form.  Releasing her, he stepped back.  “Robe off.  Now.”

Heart hammering in her chest Teris untied the fabric belt with trembling hands.  She tried to steady her breathing, telling herself the scarred man wasn’t here.  He and his blue flames couldn’t hurt her.

The robe slipped from her shoulders.  Hawks watched it puddled on the floor at her feet.  Taking a fortifying breath, he schooled his features and lifted his eyes.  Teris’ hips turned to the side.  She crossed her arms shielding her bra covered breasts.  The action squeezed her tits together enhancing her enticing cleavage.

Stay on target, Hawks told himself.  This is a job.  Not a pleasure. Yeah, but with a sight like that it kinda makes it a bit of both, he argued with himself.  She doesn’t want you and there’s a Sphinx waiting outside that’ll tear you apart if you step out of line, he reminded.

Hawks slowly circled her.  Booted feet deafening in the silence.  Teris shivered.  Though she couldn’t say if it was from the chill or Hawks’ roving gaze.  She felt him stop behind her and bit her lip, fighting the urge to look back at him.

Fingers plucked the waistband of her panties.  Teris spun around.

“Just checking for a tail.”  Hawks smiled, crookedly.  His eyes sharpened.  Still no sign of her true form.

“Are we done?”

“Almost. Just wanna try one more thing.”

“Try for what?”  Teris scowled.  She yelped and turned, something tickling the back of her leg.  It was one of Hawks’ feathers.

Hawks stepped to her.  With a practiced snap of the bra strap he had her bra unhooked.

One arm clutched to her chest, Teris spun back around, other hand lifted. Hawks had but a moment to see the mild display.  But a moment was all he needed.  In place of peach fuzz there were tiny quills gracing Teris’ cheeks.

Her hand connected.  The slap sharp and loud.  Hawks’ head wrenched to the side.  He held his throbbing cheek.  The stinging skin hot under the palm of his hand.

Teris bent, free hand grabbing the robe.  She grasped the fabric to her. “Out!  This so called inspection is finished.  We’re done.”

Feather re-attaching to his wing, Hawks turned to the door.  The inspection might be done.  But he was far from finished.

***This fic will have a LOT more world building than my others.  Please feel free to comment or send me an ask if you have any questions.

Thank you to those who have left hearts. And a special thank you to those who have left comments and/or reblogged. They really mean a lot.

Special thank you to @inorganicone2230 who knows of my love for the mythic and encouraged me to start this fic without stressing about the other two I’ve got going.  Your friendship means the world to me.

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

The Shrill (1/?) (Sci-fi)

Characters: Henry Cavill x small! innocent female reader (AU)

Summary: Something was haunting the whole world. A trial to test everybody's will power to live that an unspecified sound could make humanity turn into a death zone with four factors to describe them once they've feel the attacks. You've thought everyone was considered safe in the black mansion you were living in because nobody has reacted to the Shrill for a long time. Until now...

Warnings: Murder. Blood. Angst. Choking. (Not in a sexual way, bb's. *wink wink nudge nudge* The sexual part will be on the next) Aggressive Henry but also sweet. 

Words: 2,500+

A/N: This kept me up all night. It's all in my head and I tried to sleep it off until it reached to a smut and I was like..Ooooh. OOOOooooOOOH. I NEED TO WRITE IT OUT! Hehehe. Here you have it! 💕💕 You'll have your mad Cavill smut on part 2! Btw, I’ve written a body type, If it isn’t your body type then feel free to imagine yours instead. I couldn’t put “*your body type*” because I didn’t like the look of it in the overall imagine. Also, a certain scene was inspired by Divergent! Thank you! 

REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE IT A LIKE, IF YOU’RE LIKING THIS SHORT SERIES! THANK YOU! TAGLIST IS OPENED IF YA WANNA BE TAGGED BY THE SMUT PART--I MEAN NEXT PART. OKAY? 😍😘

Taglist: @vikingsbifrost @sofiebstar​

Disclaimer: PNG's used in edits are not mine even the GIF's too. However, the edits and oneshots/fics are definitely from moi.

MY WORKS ARE NOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

Fifteen different people in one huge mansion. A black mansion to be specific. The world has created and experienced chaos and madness as the entirety of humanity was now suffering from a wide unearthly signal that could get certain people to act berserk.

Nobody knew why. Nobody understands the reason and where does it come from, but the people who were living in the huge Mediterranean mansion that you were in were completely free from the violent reactions that may cause.

With violent reactions that can be considered brutal for a kill.

Everyone was laughing in joy, some even had alcohol wrapped around their fingers as they try to blur out all what was happening around the world.

You and Henry were sure that everyone was safe; until one person who had reacted on the sound.

There it was. That certain sound; a high pitched signal. Everyone looked at each other, sensing who were reacting towards the shrill. The effects were truly indistinguishable, you wouldn't know who and what will hit them when the signal can be heard. But, there were contingencies you've felt and heard while everyone was quarantined in the mansion.

There were four factors as to how you would react towards the sound. You've witnessed the most horrifying reaction which was Brute. Your own father has managed to terminate every single one of your family except for you. He was also included in the brutal murder as he aimed the gun to his head. You didn't know if it was intentional or not but he neglected you from the massacre and you didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

You've had hypothetical presentiments as to why they've reacted that way. Facts which are considered sixty-five percent accurate based on how you've been observing everyone's actions. The reason why they've began to violently react to the signal was because they never had committed any wicked sin and actually had a good heart.

Second was altruism. Some people have reacted towards the signal with goodwill and compassion. However, those people were thoroughly godawful in their lives. Committing such abysmal sins which can be considered unlawful to the law and especially to the eyes of God. They suddenly become all incorruptible and law-abiding after the shrill that they don't remember what happened nor do they remember who they were and have been.

Third was The Hushed. Humanity has given these people lemons and not bread. These people were the ill-tormented. They were given the affliction of never having to get to speak what their heart says no matter what happens.  All their lives they have lived in agony and now they were receiving such curse into not having to talk nor having the fate on reacting towards their environment. They were completely the epitome of a coma. Their souls and mind were still living on earth but they were forbidden to move nor react towards their environment.

Last, but not the least as your current observations weren't fully factful; was the Unbalanced. They were the combination of every factors that has been said. They all have their days, it's either you react with brute, altruism or become the Hushed in every other day. They were the unstable ones, the people who you couldn't read when they are attacked by the shrill. To know that they are considered the Unbalance start from acting like a demented person until they were acting normal one day then not on some.

The one that you couldn't get the bottom of is why specific people weren't being attacked by the chime and you couldn't comprehend why you haven't been passively reacting towards the problem at hand and nobody could answer that question for you.

Thus, this ill-fated moment was the most terrifying memory you can ever decipher as the love of your life have caused you a busted lip and a frightening gun in between your forehead.

"Listen to me and I hope you take this into consideration, Nugget." Henry skeptically started; voice all calm and soothing, standing completely tall and jacked before you. Your height differences thoroughly sweeping to the eyes of everyone maybe even cute to some as you stood five foot one before him with big bones; wide hips and small chest. Technically, a bottom hourglass with those stomach flab hidden behind the hoodie of your boyfriend that reached your thighs. An imperfect interpretation of how humanly you were, unlike your love who seemed to be utter perfection.

The latter crossed his burly arms across his prominent chest, combing a hand through his curly locks and sighing deeply to himself like he was trying to understand what his thoughts has been telling him, he licked his lips before peering down at you, giving you that worried gaze he would give whenever his thoughts get the best of him.

You gave him a reassuring smile after he pulled you away from the group of people who were bonding all together. At first, you were questioning why he'd held your wrist, pulling you away from them. But, now you understood his actions.

Despite of sounding confident all the time, today the walls began to break as you've seen your powerful looking man so scared for what he could do to the people around him if he was attacked by the Shrill.

He'd languidly taken the gun latched in between his belt. A frown etched upon his features as his stubble was growing longer. Henry checked the black pistol in his hand, clicking the chambers open to see how many rounds it could take before shutting the clip back and handling the grip to you with a small, glum smile.

You've stared back at him with incredulity. The gun on your palm without knowing what to do with it. Your lower lips wanting to pop out because of what the message actually sounded like. A shake of your head was the only reply you could muster as you felt your heart being grabbed by a claw at a rickety future that was bound to happen because nobody knows how this trial would take.

"If...If I somehow react to it and be a part of the Brute," he trailed off, stepping closer to you and reaching out for the side of your jaw; his rough, calloused fingers dancing across the nape of your neck as he subtly gave a smooth caress. Beautiful ocean blue eyes with tiny specks of brown on his left eye, gazing down at you with a look you've seen since the moment you've manage to develop feelings with each other when the nightmare happened; utter love and respect, "---and if you must shoot me before I cause chaos to everyone, do it. Understand?"

Another shallow shake of your head, repeatedly doing so with a begrudging heart, "Henry," you pleaded, not wanting to do it as the action will fall on your hands. The responsibility of shooting him would be your nightmare forever. "N-No, I--I don't even know how to shoot a gun. I--I won't ever forgive myself if that ever happens. Ask me anything, but that!" the tremble of your voice was evident. You shook your head once more, objecting at his wishes and never submitting.

"Panic will consume you and once it does, you're surprised you've already shot me to death, Y/N."  Henry tried to lighten the mood as he managed to get out a toothy grin. Though, you knew his heart was shaking at the painful truth he could decipher, "I'd rather accept that you shoot me. I'd rather see your face before I die,"

You could feel your eyebrows in a tight knot, your heart beat ceasing at the responsibility on your hands. The soft cookie in you coming out with tears forming around your eyes. Henry stared you down with a tender beam, entirely leaning down to plant a kiss on the side of your eyes to stop you from weeping out.

"Love can be a bloody brute, and I mean that literally, Nugget." the latter whispered, finally pecking your temples before the ones in between your eyebrows.

You've felt his warm breath that you wished not for it to turn cold. He was the only who you could depend. The shoulder whom you cry on and a person who you've loved to the fullest and killing him won't ever be the best idea for you.

Once the soft pillows of his lips left your forehead, he had lean his forehead with yours. Eyes fluttering closed as he took in everything. Your warmth, scent and soul like he wouldn't get to reach for them ever again. "Don't hesitate, okay? Just shoot."

The shiny metal barrel was now aimed between your head. A bloody lip and a wound on the end of your eyebrow have been given to you by your own boyfriend as he'd reacted very different with you. From the moment he was tightly closing his eyes as the shrill went on and on. You knew he was next.

At that, you've managed to speak your heart and tried getting his attention before he could even hurt the people around you who eventually became your friends.

You've rather let him hurt you than see him hurt others or even himself.

The mere image of you being violently hurt by a huge, brawny man wasn't completely pleasing to the eye. Everybody were scattered in the large living room where tables and chairs were ruined with troubled gazes in their eyes. They were stuck to their feet as they watched the scene unfold.

Irith, a police woman who lived in the same mansion as you do; snatched her gun out of her holster, quickly aiming the firearm at Henry who'd grabbed onto you, tackling you down the floor and in between you with his hand gripping your neck in a choke hold. The gun he'd given was taken away from you; maybe because you've technically given him the opportunity to do so and it was now in his palms.

"He's going to kill you, Y/N! You’re gonna die!"

Irith clicked the safety off her pistol and you've heard it. Your boyfriend's fingers wrapped around your neck as tight as he could with an apathetic gaze like your Henry wasn't even there at all. "No-No-No! He’s not! Please! Don't do a-a-anything! Don't hurt him! Move away!"

You croaked out and pleaded with a cough; forcibly clawing out to get his fingers away from you. To no avail, Henry was very much stronger than you and getting out of his hold was like asking the heavens to show you the pot of gold on the end of the rainbow.

"H-Henry," another croak before he tightened his hold around your neck. The air seeming to be cut off better than before. You've stared into his eyes, trying to find him in there but all you could see was a person whom you didn't know. A complete utter murderer who just wanted you dead.

You've stopped struggling against his hold, tasting the blood in your mouth as he breathed deep above you, his thick thighs on either side of you as he pinned you down. Irith didn't know what to do and dropped her aim. Panic settling her nerves as she watched you get choked by your boyfriend who'd been anything but violent to you before it even happened.

Your fingers left his, mind flying at the thought to fight him off. Shaky fingers reaching out to touch the side of his face which ignited a feral growl out of him once he'd felt your cold, trembling fingers. The other hand of yours nervously gripping onto the barrel, aiming it better between your forehead as Henry's face morphed into a painful wince.

You can't let him go that yet. No. Deep inside, you know he was still in there.

"Shoot...me," you whispered in between gasps and heaving breaths. The air soon cutting your lungs shut. "I-It's okay, lo-love. Y-You can shoot...shoot me,"

All the response he has ever did was a loud groan, his finger on the trigger but never flicking. He stared you down with that wavering gaze, like he has been struck by lightning. Your thumb reaching out for his lip, soothingly caressing with a firm will as you spoke out loud with a slowing heart, "It's...It's okay...I love you...Always..will,"

Something was shutting off inside him. All he could see was that you were a target he should eliminate because you were part of the humanity who tries to ruin the world because of their irresponsible actions. Yet, your voice. It was echoing inside his head, like a soothing one which could calm that certain switch and the nerves sending inside his brain for the kill.

The veins on the side of his head were popping out and you could see him struggling with something. His lips shaking as you felt it on your thumb. He tightly shut his eyes closed, hardly breathing out of his nose as he was whimpering like something was hurting him.

It was. His head was hurting because he was fighting it off.

You've caught his attention again, slowly caressing your fingers across the apples of his cheeks like a touch to reassure him to just do it and end his pain instead. You stared into his tightly shut eyes and gave a solemn smile, "Y-You're...the best I've ever had...D-Don't...worry, I-It's okay,"

Your pleading was like an ambulance being sent to rescue him. He snapped his head away from you, breath completely labored as he was wrestling with those small voices whispering inside his head; telling him to just pull the trigger and end his misery. But, the other echo screaming at him that pulling the trigger will just add more misery and probably even guilt and utter madness for himself.

"F-Fuck!" He lividly cussed out loud. Snapping his eyes open and you've seen the most grief-stricken picture. His eyes rheumy and dewy like he was on the verge of crying.

Then, you've heard the safety click back. His fingers shaking a lot more as he does so before falling on the floor, rolling away from you with a maddened groan.

He was in luck and also for you because you were close to having your breath taken away from you before he even managed to stop himself. You breathed in deep, like you were trying to catch your breath again and mewling at how free it was to feel your air back in your lungs.

Yet, you were about to reach out for him in the midst that you were still in a haze from being choked out. You've blinked your eyes open to see him scurrying away, feeling as if your heart was ceasing again. He stood on his feet, avoiding the terrified looks on everybody's faces. Though, the most painful part of everything that happened was not his aggressive action towards you. But, from how he bypassed your hold on his hand and thoroughly shunned away like you were disgusting.

Hence, you knew he was mad at himself and probably for you because you let it happen. The guilt beginning to eat him alive just before you even knew it.

MARSHALL LOOKS SO SO CUDDLY. I WANT PAPA BEAR TO JUST HUG ME ALL NIGHT. 😪😣😍😍

[chilly-me-softly]

Part 3 for jacks cupid? Jack confessed that he's in love with you to his daughter and his daughter tells screams 'finally'. The next day, jack and his daughter go to your house surprising you and put their plan into action.

Part 1 - Part 2

"Becca it's late now, we'll look for him tomorrow promised" but the little girl moans in his arms, crying because Jack looked everywhere, even in the dirty clothes, but the damn puppet is as if he's been swallowed up in a black hole.

"You can sleep with Daddy, what do you say?"

"No, I want it!" she practically screams in his ear and Jack keeps rocking her doing one last scan of the room before losing patience. Bedtime's long gone and he honestly doesn't want to spend the worst day ever the next day because the baby couldn't sleep.

"Love please" someone knocks on his door and he knows that the neighbors are probably thinking he's abusing his little girl because of all the screaming that ripped the air in that last hour but he really doesn't want to deal with other people right now.

It's just that whoever it is keeps knocking and so he opens that door at the edge, he could really burst in at any moment.

"(Y/N), what are you doing here?" he expected to find at the door everyone except you, his savior holding Becca's puppet.

"I just found it. I got here as fast as I could. I figured I'd find you in this situation"

Jack really doesn't know what to say, it's true the little one had been to your house again but he didn't know she'd brought it with her or he'd have called you a lot of screams ago. He let you take a sobbing Becca in your arms and cuddle her a little bit before showing her the puppet.

"I'm sorry he stayed at my house" you kiss her head as she finally stopped crying all of a sudden, holding that stuffed animal in her arms.

"It doesn't matter" Becca throws her arms around your neck while you stroke her back and Jack watches you interact, a sudden heat bubbles up in his chest.

"Shall we go to sleep now?" the little one nods against your shoulder and then you start heading to her room with Jack in tow.

With the puppet under her arm it doesn't take long for her to fall asleep and a few minutes later you find yourself back in the living room, Jack lets himself go against the back of the sofa closing his eyes and sighing heavily. You look at him smiling before you get close.

"Now it's your turn Grealish let's go" he opens his eyes confused, looking at your hand stretched out in front of his face.

"What?"

"I put you to bed, come on" he accepts your hand and gets carried away to his room where you literally push him to the bed and he giggles.

"Okay okay, hold on" he gets under the covers and you tuck him in just like he saw you do to his little girl a few moments ago.

"There you go, sweet dreams Jack" you leave a kiss on his forehead and before you can walk away, he grabs you by the wrist.

"Stay" his eyes are almost closed but his gaze is always very intense and you find yourself nodding.

"Okay, but no bedtime story"

He giggles, "Okay"

And the next few days he's always watching from afar how you interact with Becca, how she constantly seems to have a smile on her face every time you're around, how his chest makes strange jokes when you're around him. The fact that you're always there, that you know what he needs, what his little one needs; that you also know how to have a kind of firm hand with her - which he unfortunately doesn't always succeed in.

He knows what that means, but he doesn’t feel like it for a long time and he's scared. He would never have said that.

"Becca, can I tell you a secret?" the little girl loses all interest in television, climbing on his legs and sitting straddling them.

"What's up, daddy?"

Jack smiles putting his hand in her hair, "I think I like (Y/N)"

The little girl stares at him blinking for a few seconds before a smile spreads across his face and she starts jumping on Jack's legs.

"That's great!" the little girl claps her hands enthusiastically, then comes down from Jack's legs to do some pirouettes around the living room, screaming with joy, until she ends up on the floor laughing again. Jack can't sincerely believe his eyes, that's one thing to capture and here he is ready with his phone to record the most beautiful thing of his whole life, which he will treasure forever.

"When do we tell her?" Becca comes running back towards Jack, clutching his legs and jumping up and down excited. "Now?"

"No love, I still have some things to figure out first"

The girl pouts by looking Jack in the eye, and he laughs by picking her up and setting her on his legs. "Tomorrow, and you're gonna help me, aren't you?"

Jack's night is a completely tossing around, nervous for the day ahead. Maybe he was wrong to tell the baby before he told you. What if you don't reciprocate? How could he tell Becca? And how could he tell you something like that after all these years of friendship? He's got such a mess in his head, but he doesn't know how his overactive little girl makes him put his biggest problem aside until they're in front of your door.

"We brought you breakfast!" happily announces the baby as you let them in with a smile on their face.

"Oh thanks you guys you shouldn't have" you leave a kiss on the baby's cheek before you accept the bag and go into the kitchen with the two of them on your tail.

"Y/N, Daddy deserves a kiss too, doesn't he?"

"Oh, you're right, shall we do it together?" the little girl nods and Jack's cheeks are slightly red when the two of you walk away. In the end, he didn't really have a plan. He was just gonna leave it to the day.

After you all eat together and clean up the mess Becca made on the table and on her, the little girl goes into the living room. "Daddy's got something important to tell you" not before she gave him one last push.

Jack opens his eyes wide with surprise but try to be as calm as possible while you turn towards him. "What's going on? I knew this nice breakfast had a reason deep down"

Jack scoffs, "Please, like I've never brought you breakfast before"

"But actually there's something we need to talk about"

"See?!" you roll your eyes while he throws a napkin at you before he takes the phone out of your pocket.

He shows you Becca's video from the night before and doesn't fail to notice your amused smile, "What did you say to her to make her so happy? Wait, does it have to do with what you have to tell me?"

"Yeah"

"Well talk" he looks at you hesitantly before taking a deep breath.

"I just told her that... that I'm in love with you (Y/N)"

"Did you tell her... before me?" you ask incredulously, your eyes chained to Jack's. "Do you have any idea how stupid that idea was? Wait... is that a way to not get rejected?"

"Does it work?" he asks, trying to lighten the mood, but you roll your eyes and he sighs back into seriousness. "No. I haven't really thought about it, I usually say these things to you but it was about you so I couldn't come and tell you until I'd sorted my thoughts out somehow"

"And believe me, I've thought about it a lot. Maybe it wasn't the smartest move I could have made as a parent because now she expects us to get together, but let's face it, I never was. A good parent, I mean"

"Jack, that's not true"

"Oh come on, nine times out of ten you were there to save my ass. If it wasn't for you, I think they would have taken her away from me a long time ago"

"You're so dumb" you shake your head amused but he has more to say.

"And I'm sorry I realized just now how important you are. Not just in Becca's life, but in mine, too. We probably wouldn't have even worked before and ruined our friendship, but I'm willing to risk it this time because-"

"Jack Grealish you talk too much, has anyone ever told you that?" he's suddenly interrupted by your hands on his cheeks.

He shrugs trying to remember how to breathe, given your sudden closeness.

"I see youuu" you humsas soon as a giggle reaches your ears and you both turn your head to the little girl at the door.

"Come here, let's give Daddy another kiss, shall we?" Becca immediately runs into your arms, leaning towards Jack and leaving a loud kiss on his cheek, and he smiles at her trying to hide the bad mood that's growing inside him. Is this the end of your conversation?

But then it's your turn and your lips meet gently with his. It's a little contact, Jack has a hard time even realizing it before you pull away. But the little girl has seen everything and the expression on her face is pure emotion, nothing can equal Jack's, but in the end they're father and daughter, right?

Tag: @emwritesfootball

[leo-gold-hotchner]

Ordinary -2

It’s been like two or three months I’ve posted. It’s been very hectic and I hope everyone has been safe and sound. I still have finals so, need some time to post the last part of the sinner series. I’m just hoping I don’t post next year :<

+ this is quite long so I cut a few parts so next part-3 will be shorter.

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

Edited: 18/Jan/2024

Word Count: 3.8k

Warning: not even 0.099% of romance yet

In. = Your first name Initial

“Extraordinary born with Power, and usually have one Power. However, they could develop their second or third Power. Although the development of a third Power is rare, manifesting the second Power often happens, but not to everyone. There is no superiority to having multiple Power, but such discrimination against a single Power is already long-rooted in our society. Discrimination has a long history; if you cannot think of a case, think about employment. You would easily see ‘multiple Power is recommended’ or ‘must have multiple Power’ in the requirement section. Even if there are no such lines, several studies -for example, ‘How Multiple Power Impacts Our Society’- evidently show that a person with multiple Power has a high chance of being employed or promoted. Government bureaucrats have been the most discriminating against single Power in the past, especially in law enforcement and the army. As time has changed, many bureaucrats have changed policies and have been hiring single Power, giving people opportunities. However, still, in the personal industry, multiple Power is favoured…” 

‘How Having Single Power and Multiple Power Differ in Our Society’ 

J. Aurum & In. L/N. 

                                     -Hotch-

You once again hopped on the lift, this time with Agent Hotchner, the Unit Chief of BAU. He seemed to be a quiet man, he hadn’t said anything since they got into the lift, and you were rather thankful for that. But from time to time, you glanced at the man. He was a handsome man despite small scars that were barely visible on his face. He led you to the large office where two glassed doors with the FBI logo were guarding between the office and the aisle. People were busying themselves, though there were several empty desks. Agents minded their own business and didn't even glance your way as you followed Agent Hotchner. 

Apparently, his team was already in the conference room, and he held the door for you. And your jaw tightened as you saw that bloody woman standing in the room, her arms crossed over her chest. You nearly flinched back at her glare, but held yourself, reminding yourself you have nothing to shame of and you were no less than her. You held your chin high and glared back at the woman. Other people stared at you curiously, but as you glared back at the Section Chief, you didn’t pay attention to them. 

 Agent Hotchner cleared his throat, and everyone’s attention returned to him, including yourself. “This is Doctor F/N L/N, and will be evaluating our Power.” Before he could continue more, the Section Chief interrupted him. 

“The Doctor will accompany you for several cases.” Not only him, but you looked at her with widened eyes. 

“There was no such term when you sent a request,” you refrained from growling at her. She probably added such a term to antagonise you, sending an Ord along with the team to find a criminal X. “To evaluate the BAU’s Power properly, you have to see them working in the field, Doctor. This will be the best opportunity to observe the agents’ Power. I believe at least four cases may be sufficient for now.” 

Before you could argue more, the Section Chief left the conference room as if she didn’t want to be near you. She said, ‘for now’, does it mean she intended to make you stay at the bureau further? You cringed as you looked at the door where she exited. Sure, to analyse agents' Power, it would be easy to evaluate in the field, but it would also mean risk, especially for an Ord who never had field training. 

“I’ll go and talk to her,” an older man stood up from his seat and lightly patted Agent Hotchner’s shoulder. “Good to see you, Doctor,” he smiled at you, then left. 

Agent Hotchner sighed deeply, but soon, he introduced the team to you. “This is Penelope Garcia, she’s our technical analyst and media liaison. SSA Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau –‘call me JJ’, she smiled at you-, Spencer Reid,” he introduced them anti-clockwise, “and the man who just left is David Rossi.” 

You briefly wondered what ‘SSA’ stood for, but dismissed the thought immediately for the moment. Finally, you looked at the team members whom you will be spending time in the near future. The technical analyst was the woman who looked apologetic at you in the morning. She seemed to be very friendly as she waved her hand with a welcoming smile. She must be a fashionista with her red glasses and bright outfit matching the pink ribbon on her blonde hair. Agent Morgan was a muscular man, but his smile was also friendly like the analyst's, but his upper body leaned towards the front as if he was studying you to see if he could trust you. The brunette agent called Prentiss looked calm with her back leaning on the chair comfortably; her gentle smile eased your tension a bit. The blonde agent next to Agent Prentiss was the agent who held the lift for you. Agent Jareau, though she asked you to call her JJ, you knew you wouldn’t call her JJ for some time, not until you got to know her. Just like Penelope Garcia, she gave you a welcoming smile, her stunning blue eyes recognising you from the previous encounter at the lift. Agent Reid was a young, lanky man who gave you a nod, giving you a small smile. Despite it being small, you could see it was genuine. Although you could feel he knew who you were. After all, the young agent’s eyes widened when he saw you entering the room. 

“Do you want me to tell them,” the Unit Chief paused, looking straight at you, “your condition?” He hesitated as if that would offend you. It was rather cute to see a stoic-looking man looking for a proper word, avoiding your eyes for a short time not wanting to offend you. Heck, what were you thinking, thinking a middle-aged man who happens to be now your colleague being cute? You inwardly shook your head to focus on the topic. 

You smiled to yourself, facing the team. “I don’t have any Power. I’m just Ordinary, unlike you.” You wondered how the team would react. Would they see you as if you’re less than dust on the floor? They blinked, their mouths ajar, but soon they nodded as if they had just accepted the fact that you were different from any of them. It was strange how these people could easily accept the fact that only one person in the world without Power was going to evaluate their Power. 

“How are you gonna evaluate the Power?” Agent Morgan asked curiously without any malice. The pure curiosity just surprised you. “Are we gonna just tell our Power or write it as a report?” 

“If, if you just tell me, I’ll write on my note.” You hurriedly took your working note out of your small bag, but clumsily, the note slipped through your fingers. Before your note could touch the floor, the same black shadow held the note for you. “Thank you,” you whispered to Agent Hotchner, who just nodded. “But, now I’m officially hired as an evaluator, I’m sure the Section Chief will give me your Power report. If you’re not comfortable with sharing it in an open space, you don’t have to tell me now.” The agents -except Agent Hotchner- shrugged to themselves. 

“Do you have to know the Gap too?” Agent Prentiss asked, looking at you as though her fingers were playing with a pen. 

“Well,” you unconsciously pursed your lips. You didn't think Gap was on the list to evaluate. 

The Gap was something people didn’t want to reveal, it could be their weakness, a disadvantage tagged along with their Power. The Gap can vary, and it can be either a weakness or disadvantage or none of them at all. But, still, people hated to reveal their Gap as if they were exposing their nudes. The Gap necessarily didn't have to be related to the Power, but it always tagged along with Power. Like dark and light, Power and Gap were best mates. It was a social taboo to ask for their Gap, but you didn’t know the feeling of being asked about Gap. 

“Did you report your Gap to the FBI?” Often, if the Gap didn’t affect the work, people didn’t have to report their Gap to their workplace. 

“Not everyone, but I did for both of them.” Agent Hotchner replied. So, Agent Hotchner had two Power, you thought. “I can control shadows, and the Gap for that is I don’t sleep.” You didn’t see his eyes waver when you lowly muttered, ‘it must be lonely’ as you jotted down on your note. “X-ray vision, but to do that, my eyes become red.” 

“Is that the reason why you wear sunglasses all the time when playing cards?” Agent Jareau joked, and he gave her a little snort laugh along with other laughing agents. “I only reported one of my Gap. Do I have to tell you both?” 

“I’m hired to evaluate your Power, not the Gap,” you shrugged, “no need to tell me if you don’t want to.” Although you wondered if Agent Hotchner, being the Unit Chief, knew his team’s Gap. 

“I do.” You nearly jumped in a start when Agent Hotchner replied to your thought. 

“You talked out loud.” Agent Reid gave a small, understanding smile as soon as embarrassment flashed on your face. “I blabber myself a lot, especially my thoughts, so everyone here is used to it.” The young agent explained that to rescue you from your own embarrassment. “And, well, I’m a single Power but have two Gap.” 

Your eyes soon lightened up at that. It was interesting to meet someone who has two Gap when they only have a single Power because it hardly happens. Usually, it was a single Power per Gap, and they were an interesting topic even in your field. 

“I can see you want to dissect me,” the young agent made a mocking, horrified face. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t let our Doctor dissect you into two,” Penelope Garcia winked at you. You didn’t know if she was also an agent, and didn’t know what to call her. Perhaps you should just stick with Garcia for now. 

“My Power is that I can watch the dead’s memories,” Agent Reid continued after he finished laughing at what Garcia said. “The Gap is,” he paused, rather hesitant to tell you, but you gave him an encouraging nod. Whatever his Gap was, you’d not tease him or anything. “I have to drink their blood to see their last memories before their demise. I can only see their last 10 minutes of last memories, but the more I drink, the memories become clearer and more precise.” He didn’t look at your eyes as if he’d see disgust in your eyes. He must have been through some shit when others found out about what he had to do to use his Power. When he didn’t hear any disgusted groan or anything, he shrugged as he told you his second Gap. “The second Gap is an advantage. I don’t get any diseases from drinking blood.” 

“Must be hard to see people’s last memories all the time,” you shook your head as you scribbled on your note. You will never understand how this agent could cope with his life, seeing all the deaths and experiencing each of them. It must be excruciating to experience dying all the time. “You don’t have to worry about anything, Agent.” You clicked your pen, giving him a small smile. You suffered storms of hardships being an Ordinary; you weren’t about to loathe the agent because he has to drink blood. “I can see your team has your back.” You saw the others’ protectiveness on their faces when the young agent told about his Power and Gap. You could easily see a family here. “I’m just curious, Agent Reid.” 

“Actually, it’s Doctor,” he interjected. “Doctor Reid,” you nodded, “the memory you view, is that right before their death? I mean, if a person loses his or her consciousness before their death, do you see the last 10 minutes before losing consciousness?” 

“No, the last 10 minutes include losing unconsciousness, too. So when I see the memory, it’s pitch black.” The conference room became quiet after the young agent’s quiet word, only you writing on the note could be heard. 

Agent Morgan put his arm on the younger man’s shoulder in brotherly affection, cutting down silence with his cheery voice. “My Gap going to be on the report when you get it in detail. I’ve got non-penetrable body, but when I fall asleep it becomes normal.” 

“Not even bullets can harm you if you’re awake?” You asked the muscular man. 

 You’ve seen similar Power before, but with different Gap. It was fascinating how people have similar Power but can have different Gap, there hadn’t been a proper explanation for such phenomena even now. 

Agent Morgan shook his head. “But because of that it’s difficult to stitch if I get any scratch because they have to anesthetise me.” 

“But that never happened before,” the brunette agent snorted. 

“And never will,” the muscular man snapped his finger with a broad smile. 

Before the conversation could continue more, Agent Rossi returned with a yellow file with an FBI mark on it. The gentleman had a beard around his chin, and it was slowly greying along with his hair, but he looked kind enough. His eyes shone in mischievousness, however. 

“What did I miss?” The older agent passed the file to you after observing the team. “Erin wanted me to give it to you.” It was rather funny to see a gentleman with jeans and a suit jacket standing next to a man who wore a suit properly. 

“Thank you.” You opened the file and read briefly of the details of the team’s Power, including Garcia’s. After hearing she was a technical analyst and media liaison, you didn’t think she also worked in the field. You inwardly chided yourself, chanting that you shouldn’t make any presumptions. 

“We were discussing about our Power and Gap. Morgan, Reid and I just finished explaining to Doctor L/N.” Agent Hotchner filled Agent Rossi, who sat on the chair he previously sat. “Is that the file?” 

“Yes,” you nodded as your finger moved next to each word in sentences, “if you have other things to do, you don’t have to waste your time by telling me your Power. I’ve got this now.” You waved the Power report to them. 

“It’s not a waste, it’s an opportunity to avoid doing paperwork.” Agent Prentiss grinned, and others laughed, though Agent Hotchner only kept indifference on his face, a little twitch occurred on the sides of his lips. 

“Then, if it’s no trouble, I’d like to hear from you rather than reading the file,” you gave them a small, polite smile, closing the file. 

“I have two Power, but they’re really simple,” the brunette agent held her fingers. “One is super healing, but it only applies to physical wounds, so I still get diseases, that’s the Gap.” 

“Which sucks when you get a cold.” Agent Morgan chuckled, probably remembering when the other agent caught a cold. 

“Haha,” Agent Prentiss rolled her eyes, “and another power is telekinesis.” With flicking her fingers, she lifted Agent Morgan’s coffee cup, who mockingly yelled ‘hey’. “But I can only lift up to 440 pounds (approx. 200kg).” 

You opened your mouth a bit, then closed it, reminding yourself that this was neither a lab nor a research facility. But the agent didn’t miss it and asked if you wanted to ask something. 

“It’s not relevant.” 

“But I want to know,” Agent Prentiss pouted, somehow reminding you of a cat. “You asked Reid, you could ask me then?” 

“Well,” you said slowly, others, especially Agent Morgan, snickering badly at the agent’s tactic. “Did you try to lift more than 440 pounds before?” 

“Yeah. I found my limit when I was in high school.” She pointed her finger at Agent Morgan. “I’m not telling you how I found out.” 

He showed his hands to her. “Didn’t say anything.” Although, his eyes were twinkling as if he was plotting something. The two of them reminded you of very close siblings. 

“You say telekinesis and could lift objects. Can you only lift? Have you tried to push or pull towards you?” 

“Yep, only lifting I can do. If I could move it without touching it, I would’ve become really lazy.” 

“But it would’ve been useful for girl’s night!” Garcia beamed. “But, is it important to know what she can do with her Power?” 

You shook your head. “It was just curiosity out of academic purpose.” You tried to explain further as they were expecting you to continue. 

“Have you seen anyone who has exactly the same Power as you? Including the Gap.” For a minute, they mused, then shook their head negatively. “There is similar Power, but all Power are different from one another. For example, I’ve seen a Power like Agent Morgan’s before. But she still had a non-penetrable body when she slept.” You weren’t going to tell them about the Gap, and they knew you wouldn’t. “It seems the Power balances itself so people won’t have the exact same Power. Another example is that when I studied years back, I met a girl who had telekinesis. She could not only lift, but she also could push and pull towards her. Imagine more than 7 billion people having different Power.” You weren’t sure if you explained correctly. It’s like you knew in your head, but didn’t know how to explain verbally. But the last sentence had too much passion even in your ears. “Anyway, it’s like a habit of mine, asking what your Power can further do.” 

This was actually the first time you ever talked this long in front of people you had just met, other than in lectures or conferences. You didn’t know Agent Rossi was intensely watching you, musing, but the Unit Chief raised his brows at the older profiler. Suddenly, you were conscious of being surrounded by a bunch of profilers, and it made you timid. 

“Um, if you’re still okay, we can talk more about your Power?” 

“You don’t have to be shy around us, we’re now a team, you know!” Garcia beamed at you. You could just literally see bright positivity radiating from her. “Now, I have two Power too. One, it’s really useful for me being a technical analyst. I know people’s Gap just by seeing their photos or video clips. But unlike our genius boy here,” she pointed to Doctor Reid, who looked kind of embarrassed, “I don’t have a photographic memory, so I have to write on my secret notes. Of course, after writing it down, I burn them to keep their privacy.” She told you proudly. “Oh, oh, and I can only see one Gap if they have multiple Gap. I think it’s random to see which Gap. First, I thought I saw either frequently used Power or less frequently used Power.” 

“Dominant and Secondary Power,” you automatically corrected her. 

“Yeah, that, so when I first saw our boss,” she looked at Agent Hotchner, who raised his brows at her, “the image of his eyes becoming red flowed into my brain. Later, I found out he doesn’t really use his X-ray vision, so I thought I was seeing this Secondary Power Gap. But when I saw Emily, I saw her Gap being not immune to diseases and Super healing’s Em’s Dominant Power. Oh, did I say too much?” Garcia looked around with a worried face. 

“No, I was going to ask how you found out,” you smiled at her. “There’re many possibilities, so we can’t be certain. That’s why we keep studying Power and Gap.” You shrugged lightly. 

“And my other Power is not that useful for this stuff; I just use it for my personal hobby. But I think it’s on the report.” 

You looked through the report and read, ‘Can talk to dogs and cats’. “Only dogs and cats? No other canine and feline?” 

“Only puppies and kitties, it helps me a lot when I volunteer at the animal shelter. They talk to me all the time; there’re so many stories they tell me, but they always say they’re happy to see me there with them.” 

From her happy smile, you could easily see how much she cared about the animals. You didn’t know what a technical analyst actually does, but it sure must be about crimes and catching criminals along with the team. It was a wonder how she still looked at the world with a genuinely happy smile and kept up with her positive attitude. Perhaps she was looking for a way out from criminal stuff, but that didn’t change she was a very positive person. 

“Now only JJ and Dave left!” Garcia clapped her hands. “Who goes first?” 

“Ladies first,” Agent Rossi inclined his head towards Agent Jareau, who laughed, but her face soon became serious. 

“I,” she sounded a bit hesitant, “have two Power, but I rarely use it.” 

“You don’t like your Power?” You blurted out, colder than you expected. It was more like a statement rather than a question. 

You’ve seen people who didn’t like their Power, and you were jealous of them. Even if it was unusual or uncommonly used, they were still treated as Extraordinary members of the community. You? You’ve always been treated as a stranger, looking at you as if they were seeing an alien. But it wasn’t their fault you didn’t manifest Power, it wasn’t your fault you didn’t manifest Power. There was no one to blame but nature, but you sometimes wanted to blame someone. You shouldn’t direct your anger at them, but sometimes you couldn’t help it. 

“I’m sorry, that was…” 

“It’s okay, you’re right. I don’t like my Power because it only benefits me.” 

She gave you an understanding smile. She knew why you felt like that. It was a shock to see someone giving you an understanding smile. No one ever done that before, not even your mentor. 

“I could teleport, but it only applies to myself. If there’s a trouble, I could only teleport myself, not others.” From her gritted teeth, something must’ve happened in the past because her Power only applies to her. “And next one, I don’t really use it much. I can mind control,” she shifted from her seat uncomfortably. “I haven’t used it for some time. Depending on how many people I control, it differs how long I can control them.” She calmly explained her Power and Gap, but guilt was palpable on her face.

“Not your fault, you don’t have to feel guilty about it.” The Unit Chief assured the blonde agent quietly, probably knowing whatever happened to his agent. Agent Prentiss gave a comforting hand on the blonde woman's shoulder. You suddenly wondered how well you’d get along with this team. You’ll be an intruder to this family. Just by looking at their interaction with one another, they were just a family, a tight familial bond under the name of ‘team’. 

You held yourself from flinching when someone’s voice knocked your ear, dragging you out from the train of thoughts. “Dave Rossi, our Italian gentleman resident!” Garcia’s voice rang your eardrums. 

The older agent stared at you expectantly, with a small smile and a raised eyebrow. Your lips formed a little ‘o’, then nodded quickly. 

“My Power is very classic. I can control four elements: air, earth, water, fire.” As he listed the four elements, your eyes flickered with awe. 

You haven't met someone who could control four elements at the same time. The Four Wielder was so rare that not many have been recorded in history. You wondered why his Power wasn’t reported and introduced to the academia. Even without the Gap, he must be a powerful Wielder if he can control four elements.

“I can see the curious look, dear Doctor. But I’ll tell you more when we have dinner at my manor.” 

“Oh, when’s next dinner?” Agent Prentiss practically jumped at the mention of dinner. 

“No one knows,” Agent Rossi dramatically shrugged, and winked at you. He knew what you were thinking, and he was telling you that you were welcome in the team as well as others. Warmth spread your chest as soon as you realise that, thanking the older profiler inwardly. 

“You know what, you need an office,” Agent Jareau pointed her finger in the air. 

“Your old office?” Doctor Reid suggested. 

“Do you have your things?” Garcia asked excitedly, though before you could even answer, she exited the room with hopping-like steps. 

“I can help move your stuff.” Agent Prentiss grinned at you, standing up from her seat. 

“Showing off, are we?” Agent Morgan smirked with mirth. Soon, the four agents followed the blonde technical analyst, leaving only you and two agents in the conference room. 

“Before they make havoc in your new office, I think you should follow them,” Agent Rossi shook his head, laughing. 

You silently packed your things and started to leave the two agents. 

“Doctor L/N,” Agent Hotchner called you from behind, “welcome to the team.” He gave you a warm smile and you reciprocated him genuinely.

[cassiopeiassky]

When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I Just Want You to Know Who I Am) Part 53

Hello yes hi it’s been AGES since I’ve had an update for you but look!  An update!  Contrary to public suspicion I have not, in fact, fallen off the face of the earth.

That said, thank you all so much for your patience.  It means the world to me.  If you choose not to read anymore because I’m so pokey, I understand.  Just send me an ask and I’ll take you off the list.  You could, in theory, stop - the major arc has finished.  But if you want to stick around, there’s still plenty of their story to tell before they’re done :)

Plot:  When you inadvertently become a witness to a murder and are suddenly a target for death, it takes a specially skilled soldier and his team to keep you and your family safe.

This will eventually be a is a reader x Bucky fic. The reader, by the way, is a civilian. No super powers, no fighting skills, and by no means perfect.  

Word count: 2167

Warnings:

For the entire work:  Language (I have a potty mouth), violence, and angst.  This will probably get pretty dark later on, and there will be smut.  If that’s not your thing, you may want to avoid this story.

Additional warnings specific to this part: Feels and emotions. They’re dealing with the aftermath now, so there are parts that are kinda heavy.  

***I do not own any of the lyrics/music in this story, so please don’t sue me for using them***

Tags moved to the end.

WEMtbB Masterlist

Previously on WEMtbB:

“Yeah.”  You take another bite of pie as you smirk.  “You know, it’s going to be hard to top our first first date.  That was pretty fantastic.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“Nope, just a fact. That was seriously the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

He smirks, eyes smoldering. “Doll, you’re gonna get the full Bucky Barnes treatment – the barn date was me with one hand tied behind my back. I’m gonna knock your socks off tomorrow.”

Anticipation spikes your blood – somehow, you believe him, but you can’t miss the chance to gently tease, “We’ll see.”

Sleep didn’t want to come, but that’s to be expected.  All other terrible things aside, spending a few weeks on the other side of the world will wreak havoc on anyone’s sleep schedule.  Even exhaustion can’t always knock you out when your body thinks it’s time to be awake.  Still, you managed a few short periods of sleep, and when you couldn’t you contented yourself with thinking about your family and watching Bucky sleep.

It helps to remind you that your nightmare is over.  

His beautiful eyes, more blue than grey once again, open as the sun crests the horizon.  “Sweetheart,” his voice is gravelly from slumber and God you’d missed the sound of it, “Why didn’t you wake me up?  You didn’t need to be awake by yourself.”

As you prop yourself up with your elbow, your fingers find his hair.  “No reason for you to be awake, too, especially since you were sleeping so peacefully.”  You lean down to press a soft kiss to his lips.  “You’re just as tired as I am.  You went through just as much.”

Something shifts in his gaze as he watches you.  “You’re the strongest person I know.  You know that?  I’m so –“ He has to stop and clear his throat before he can continue, “I’m so…I don’t even know what I am.”

He has more to say, so you give him the time to find his words as you calmly play with his hair.

“I’m in awe of you.”

The unladylike snort that comes out of you couldn’t be stopped; you tried.  Awe inspiring?  You? Ahahahaha.  Nope.   “I’m not a unicorn, Buck.  There’s nothing awe inspiring about me.  I’m just…me.”

“Stop.”  The tone in his voice doesn’t allow for disagreement. “Don’t undersell what you just survived. Sweetheart, I’ve known some pretty brave men and women in my life, and I don’t know another person that could have made it through that experience intact.  You did, so yes, you are a unicorn.”  His eyes suddenly lighten considerably before he twists himself to reach for something in the drawer of his nightstand, “Speaking of…”

It’s a great opportunity to take in the broad expanse of his bare back and shoulders, so you shamelessly do so until he turns back around, causing laughter to bubble out of you when you see what he’d retrieved.

His eyes light up at your reaction.  “Do you like it?  When you were coming out of the anesthesia you kept going on and on about a sparkly purple unicorn, so Stark and I decided to make sure you got one.”

You take the impossibly soft, deep purple and silver stuffed unicorn and squeeze it tightly.  “I love it!  It’s so squishy!”

He laughs at your obvious delight while shaking his head.  “God, I love you so much.”

Laying on your back, you turn your head to look at Bucky.  “I know.  And I love you, too.”

His eyes watch yours and yours watch his, and it seems like the world slows down just a bit so for once you don’t feel like you have to race to catch up.

“So,” stretching luxuriously, you allow the moment to end because there are more good moments just around the corner, “when can we call the boys?”

“Whenever you want to, Sweetheart.  You phone is plugged in on the nightstand next to you.”

“Really?”  Twisting to reach for the phone, you find it resting next to the pile of books, “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’ve really really missed playing Disney Emoji Blitz.  Don’t judge me.  Hey,” you squint at the device as you unplug it.  “This isn’t my phone.”

He glances at it and snorts. “Oh, it’s your phone.  It isn’t your old phone, but it’s your phone.”

“Huh?”

“Stark sees you as family. You’re one of us now, and that means you’ll never have a normal phone again.  He won’t allow it.”

“But –“

“It’s probably set up similarly to how your old phone was, with all the data intact.  But of course, he’s Starkified it.  Don’t bother arguing with him – at best he’ll ignore you.”

It’s true and you know it, so you just shrug and decide to accept it.  “Okay.”  It isn’t a battle worth picking, you won’t win anyway, and upon opening it and beginning to explore it, it’s…it’s kind of awesome.  All your pictures are there, and even though it looks like your contact list has expanded considerably – apparently you can reach Nat at 6 different numbers and Steve at 8  – all of your old numbers are there as well.  Your finger hovers over your mom’s contact info, but your eyes flick to the time and you place the phone back on your nightstand.  Signing heavily, you ruefully admit, “It’s still a little too early. I know my mom is up by now, but I don’t want to wake the boys if they’re still sleeping.”

“I doubt they’d mind – I’m sure they want to hear from you.  I called your ma while you were in surgery, just to give her an update, and I know she’s pretty anxious to hear your voice.”

It warms your heart a ridiculous amount to know he called her, but that’s not where your focus is at the moment.  “I know she is, it’s not my mom I’m worried about.  The boys, though – I don’t know how they’ve been sleeping since I’ve been gone, and I don’t want to mess up their routine if they’ve settled into one.” You stare up at the ceiling, but there’s no hiding the trepidation in your voice when you slowly continue, “Besides, I have a feeling that one or both of them are going to be mad at me.  Really mad at me.”

Bucky gently traces your cheek, “Why would you think that?”

It takes awhile for you to be able to utter the words that have been festering in your heart; even though you’d compartmentalized for the sake of survival and hadn’t allowed yourself to think about Artie and Jimmy much, the undercurrent of this particular fear tainted every breath you took while you were imprisoned…and it’s there, even now. Especially now.  “I’m so afraid they think I abandoned them.”  At your admission, a hot tear falls and finds its way to your ear.

“Sweetheart…”

“I left them.  I didn’t have a choice, but I tucked them in for their nap and I left.”

His voice is quiet as he plays with a tendril of your hair, “You’re right.  But you also came back.  Or will, anyway.”

“But –“

“Sweetheart, I’m not gonna say this isn’t gonna be hard on you.  Or them.  Or that there isn’t gonna be an adjustment period.  But the important part is that you came back.  Five years from now, that’s probably all they’ll remember about the whole thing.  It sucked – I think we can all agree on that – but you fought, you survived, and you came back.  That’s gonna mean the world to them.”

Your foot shakes nervously as you grab onto his words.  “I hope you’re right.”

“I am, Sweetheart. You’ll see.”  

“So,” clearing your throat of the thickness that had taken hold, you turn on your side to face him again, still cuddling the stuffie close, “what else are we doing today?

“Well, my therapist is scheduled to fly in this morning – he’ll meet with you as well so he can match you up with one of his colleagues.  Then Galina will work with you on some physical therapy for your leg to make sure the patch is doing its job and that you’re healing okay.”

Her name catches you off guard.  “Galina’s here?”

“Mm hmm.  Stark couldn’t hire her fast enough - she’s officially part of the Avengers support team now, and at the moment she’s specifically assigned to you.”  He laughs lightly, “Stark had originally planned on having one of Dr. Cho’s nurses come in for the week to monitor your recovery, but Galina wasn’t having it. She said that since she was one of the first people to treat you that she’s more qualified than anyone else to look after you because she’s already familiar with the injury.  She also brought up the very good point that she’s already a somewhat familiar face.”

“Well…that’s hard logic to argue.”  You take a deep breath and exhale loudly.  It’s a little overwhelming, to say the least.  “So is there anything else planned for today?”  

“That’s up to you and what you’re up for – but I should give you a head’s up that Nat’s waiting on the call to take you shopping for our date tomorrow night.  Shopping for fancy dresses is her favorite kind of shopping so you’ll probably feel like a life-size doll when you’re done.”  He continues as your eyes grow wide, “Other than that, I’ll probably have a session with my therapist, and then I thought we’d just have a quiet night to ourselves.  Maybe order in some Chinese food or something.”

“That sounds really nice. Um,” the awkward hesitation that enters your voice is painfully obvious as your brain shifts to mundane matters you hadn’t given much thought to over the past few months, “Did anyone happen to grab my purse?  I haven’t needed it in forever but if I’m going shopping I’m going to need it.” Shit, is there even anything in New York that you can afford?  Since Christopher’s death you’d been extremely diligent about your spending, carefully ensuring that the life insurance funds would last until you finished school and started working.  Despite being concerned about the cost of a dress, it’s actually kind of a relief to think about stuff like this – the normal, everyday things you had to keep track of before your life changed so drastically.

“You don’t have to worry about that.  Stark mentioned that he’s adding you to one of his expense accounts – he’ll probably send a credit card with Nat.”

“What?  No.  NO.”  You sit up indignantly, not sure if you’re feeling inadequate, helpless, pitied, or insulted.  Irrational?  Maybe. You can’t tell.  Perhaps all of the above.  It’s already hard enough to wrap your mind around everything they’ve done for you - this is a step too far.  You’d been living on Tony’s dime because you’d had to, and you’d used the resources available to you to care for your kids; even that was awkward at first. But access to actual money to buy a dress?  No.  You’re not a goddamn freeloader.

Bucky exhales deeply with a knowing look in his eyes.  “You and Steve are two peas in a pod.”  He mutters under his breath, but you can hear him just fine and you let him know that with a glare.  “Will it soothe your raging independence to know that money means absolutely nothing to him?  Stark giving you access to one of his accounts is about the equivalent of bumming a smoke off someone.  Seriously.”

Stare.  Blink.  What.

“Look, I think it’s safe to say that we all know you can take care of yourself.  You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”  The covers slide down, showing his torso as he sits up to face you.  “That said, I’d like to remind you about a certain conversation we had at home about us taking care of each other.  I know I didn’t specifically include my team at the time, but they’re your team now, too. They’re your family.  You know this.  It’s okay to let us take care of you – shit, Sweetheart, you take care of us all the time.”

“Okay, but cooking dinner for everyone isn’t the same thing as a credit card.”

“Doll, you don’t want to eat Stark’s cooking.  Please, I beg you, let him reciprocate with American Express.  You can’t get food poisoning that way.”  The look in his blue eyes would be comical if he didn’t seem quite so serious.

You’re still uneasy about having access to someone else’s money, but you reluctantly concede.  They are family – Thanksgiving and Christmas should have already proven that to you, even before they did what they did to save you. Still…pride, independence, and your improved but still deeply embedded insecurities are trying to make their insidious whispers into roars.  “It’s weird,” you finally mutter as you fiddle with one of your stuffie’s satin lined ears.

He snorts and nods.  “I got a metal arm and Stevie and I both have three digits to our age, Banner goes from mild mannered doctor to a big green rage monster when necessary, Stark flies around the world in glorified soda can, and I haven’t even introduced you to the witch, the god, the floating red guy, and the…I don’t know, whatever the hell Loki is.  Trust me, Stark giving you a credit card so you have a little bit of freedom while you’re here is the least weird thing about this situation.”

Well, when he puts it that way…

@hellomissmabel @howdoesoneadult  @nykitass @danimuhle @iwillbeinmynest  @shifutheshihtzu @passiononfire  @learisa @widowvinter  @kaaatniss @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @denialanderror  @k-nighttt @givemethatgold @manders2487 @afangirlrambles @polkadottedpillowcase @bluebrrn @saysay125  @aikibriarrose @saharzek @mmauricee @imhereforbvcky  @whenallsaidanddone @supernatural508  @scarlettsoldier  @natalie-nightcourt  @im-beautifully-sewn  @lovemarvelousfics  @feistytravel  @tbetz0341  @nearly-whitches  @jamie-leah  @shliic  @dessinemoiunehistoire  @lucywinchester2000  @solarbarnes  @a-proper-chicken  @movingonto-betterthings @seekingkairos    @part-time-patronus  @natashasnight   @fairislesheets @beccaanne814 @jamesbarnesappreciationclub

[aurltas]

author interview tag (!)

aaAAAA ty to @backcountry-deltora for tagging me!!! much loveee <333 i haven’t been looped into a tag game for so so long and this is making me feel 10000% better about the fact that i have not written a single fic related thing in MONTHS o)-( but i love to talk about writing and myself so here we go,,

Name: i went by crystal silvera on ffn and here for the longest time so a lot of ppl know me as crystal but my Real(TM) name is dani and my ao3 name is auritas so like take ur pick haha

Fandoms: currently in mxtx hell (im a mdzs main, to the shock of no one) but my og fandoms that i am still very much attached to are deltora quest (the OG og), young wizards, the raven cycle, and yuri on ice

Where you post: ao3 alllll the way babey (but i originated from ffn and still have some stuff up there.......it’s Not Good tho)

Most popular one-shot: oh boy i knew this was gonna be a popular one bc i only wrote like?? rambly reflective thematic pieces(?) before this, my First Attempt At Fluff lmao. even then, But we’re alive (because we bleed) still exceeded my expectations by far in terms of reception, probs bc mdzs was such an up and coming fandom at the time and i posted it right on the crest of that cql wave

Most popular multi-chapter fic: obviously where the light goes, also known as my beloved CHILD !!!! i don’t write multichaps anymore but this is 2 long ass chapters so ig that’s Technically a multichap haha,,, yeah i knew this one was gonna be popular for the same reasons as the previous one + the very intentional tipping of the scale i did here with the balance of fluff and other things. like this is just pure distilled sugar it’s so so fluffy

Favourite story you’ve written so far: oh mannnn i gotta say where the light goes. especially that first chapter, just,, damn. what was i ON ?? its so good!! what the heck!!! quite proud of my metaphor work there, even if balancing prose/poetry feel is very stilted at times . in terms of that balance i think i did a Really good job with and neither did the both of us bc i went back and reread where the light goes for inspiration and i was like “oh god this is DROWNING in metaphors i need to lighten it up a little”

Fic you were nervous to post: i was nervous about where the light goes bc i had such high expectations going in, like i Knew people were craving what i had but i was like, did i do it right?? will this be my breakthrough in the mdzs fandom??? and it sort of was and sort of wasn’t, which,, fair. also SUPER nervous for astriferous bc i had written it all in like, one (1) day and it was for an exchange LMFAOOO (and you can really tell it was all written in one go......it was only when i hit the end that it got Good)

How you choose your titles: when i write fic i’m often scrapbooking a TON of different things together so titles are often just whatever it is i’m already drawing from. there are a few exceptions, like here, then, begins the mending, or and i need nothing more where a phrase popped into my head during the writing/drafting/brainstorming process and i was like OH THAT’S REALLY GOOD. TITLE IT IS

Do you outline?: usually only if it’s plot-driven, like my (incomplete for . Reasons) (ok i was being pestered bc i took it as a prompt and my promptee was. hm) YW multichap equilibrium, for which i outlined EVERYTHING. it was so annoying but i also lowkey liked it because these were MY messy outline notes and i could go as ham as i’d like

Complete: everything that’s posted !! except equilibrium ofc . that’s gonna stay where it is unless by some miracle of nature i get my momentum back for it

In progress: i am working on another jaslief oneshot!!! and for my mdzs folks i have been working on a rly long lesbian songxiao oneshot for a Very long time and it’s . mwah (i showed it to one of my friends and she lost her mind so i think i can say that with confidence)

Coming soon: probably nothing until i’m released from ochem/thesis hell hahahahahahahaaa but if anything were to come out this year it would be the songxiao most likely !

Do you accept prompts?: not after what happened last time !!!! ;o; until i’m done with school altogether, i really need writing to remain something For Me

Upcoming story you’re the most excited to write?: i wanna finish my jaslief SOOOO bad oh my god . i put in so much self-indulgence in there and used what i learned from where the light goes to make it REALLY good n thematic. like don’t get me wrong i am also so excited for my songxiao but i wrote it with some uhhhhh Influence from things i was going through irl and it feels weighty now?? idk i’ll work it out eventually,, i’ve also had oubing fic brewing in my head for literally a year and i REALLY wanna write some pynch in the barns/cabeswater content. let me write about dreamthings and nATURE

Upcoming story you’re most excited about?: bold of u to assume i read multichapters anymore HAHAHA i rotate through the same library of 100 one-shots i have bookmarked now......but back when i did read multichaps i was REALLY into the work of iruutciv + orchids_and_fictional_cities team from yoi, they were absolute LEGENDS and their fic and miles to go before i sleep changed me as a person lmao (i also did read part of their ongoing but monsters are always hungry, darling and i’m actually still in their discord for it but it is SO so intricately crafted and i fell out of the loop and didn’t rly get back in) . currently i follow megafaunatic aka etymologyplayground’s work the most closely for my mxtx fix (my fav from them currently is probably you, asleep and dreaming)

tagging: @lenawin4 and uhhhhhhh anyone else who feels like doing this?? for my life i cannot recall any other writers off the top of my head rn o)-(

[tomsrebeleyebrow]

Finding Love by the Nile | pharaoh!th x fem!reader

Summary: New Pharaoh Tom is young and handsome. After succeeding to his father at a very young age, he is now respected and loved by everyone – but mostly desired by the all ladies of the Egypt Kingdom. As big as his harem can be, one particular creature catches his attention since long time ago and now, he is determined to make her his.

Pairing: Pharaoh!Tom x Commoner!Reader

Warnings: some cute cocky Tom moments but full fluff power

Word Count: 3485

A/N: I’m such a sucker for Egyptian mythology since forever so I decided to combine this passion with Tom, because I’ve never read something like that(?). And there is actually a Tutankhamun exhibition in Paris (and I wish so hard I could go tbh), that’s how this idea popped up into my brain 😗 So yeah, we’ll see how it goes!! Hope you like it ✨

⚠️ For the sake of the plot with the time period and ethnic details (Antic Egypt), the reader (Y/N) will have black/brunette hair, brown eyes and a little tanned skin. Tom will also be a bit more tanned. Thank you for your understanding!! ⚠️

masterlist

City of Giza, Egypt – c. 1539 BC

(Y/N) walks in the streets of the city center. It’s barely ten in the morning. People mill in the alleys and the merchants don’t hesitate to scream about their good deals in hope to tempt new customers. Children weave in and out the crowd playing tag, as their giggles full of life mix with the regular morning hubbub.

Always so much life, nothing changes.

This is the place where the young (Y/N) was born and grown up, in a kind family in a modest home but where it was good to live in. But nothing goes as we plan them to be. And (Y/N) still remembers that particular day where her destiny changed.

The old pharaoh left the world of the living to join the Other Side of god Osiris. All Egypt cried its deceased king who reigned for almost thirty years. And all Egypt got surprised to see a twelve-year old boy announced as his heir. His only child. When the boy was officially proclaimed as Pharaoh of the Egypt Kingdom, the population got to finally discover the face of its new ruler. So young but already with a disconcerting beauty. Wild brown hair due to ridiculous curls, but that seemed weirdly soft to touch. Big brown eyes so deep and sharp but warm at the same time. Him and (Y/N) were the same age at the time. She couldn’t stop but stare at him with marvel and astonishment. Both their worlds were different: the rich sovereign family on one side and the servant people on the other. But that didn’t stop the aforesaid people to cheer and honor their new king chosen by the Gods. And (Y/N) did the same.

Then time flew by and (Y/N) is now eighteen. Long and thick brunette hair cascades on her back, framing a luscious body as well as her gorgeous visage, with hazelnut eyes and soft lips. Stride across the streets of the city, on a market day, is one of her favorite hobbies. It is nearly impossible for her to miss this day, unless if her father needs some help for work.

‘(Y/N)!!’ As she hears her name, she turns her head toward the voice.

‘Oh, hi Nana! How are you?’ Asks (Y/N) with a warm smile.

It is “Nana”, as casually named, the old neighbor lady next to (Y/N)’s household. She is like a second grandmother to her and they truly are fond of each other. (Y/N) couldn’t miss an occasion to pay her a visit.

‘Good, my child, thank you. I bumped into you father while going out and he asked me to tell you, if I saw you, to join him in front of the bridge outside the city.’

Oh. (Y/N) knows more than well what that means.

‘Your father is making more and more return trips to the Royal Palace. It seems like the Pharaoh appreciates his fabrics a lot!’ Laughs Nana.

The Pharaoh. Just talking about it makes (Y/N) let out a big sigh. She is not the only one that grown up, the young Pharaoh from six years ago back then has also changed. Quite a lot.

(Y/N) observed his evolution during several visits to the Palace. Born in a modest family of linen farmers since decades, the young lady grown between fields and weavers and was determined to carry on the traditions. Everyone liked their textiles made of linen, including the royal family who put its trust in (Y/N)’s father. As soon as she was able to work (quite early), her father brought her with him to the Pharaoh’s Palace to deliver and propose new textiles. Of course she always stayed behind to let her father handle the family business, but she took advantage of it to observe the new “little king”, – as some people called him at first –, at any occasion. His mother and close advisers were always in sight to guide him at the beginning of his reign.

Still in power nowadays, he is now known as the young and handsome eighteen-year old Pharaoh idolized by all the country. Besides getting more self-confidence, he doesn’t stop and rush around like a madman to develop Egypt. And the people respect him for that matter. But what noticed (Y/N) over the years was, in addition to all that, that he became a true charmer. More like a lady-killer, in fact. He knew that. ‘The Pharaoh is so handsome!’, ‘He is more and more beautiful!’, ‘Did you see his muscles?’, ‘He must be blessed by Ra, God of the Sun!’ All the time. Any woman falls in love with him and, without anyone noticing well not really but anyway, the young Pharaoh created his own harem. Of course, like he would care. (Y/N) noticed with great regret even if she will never admit it out loud the number of young ladies increasing each time she visited the Royal Palace with her father. One even more beautiful than the other, wearing dresses too much fitted – probably created with the linen of her family – and some black kohl around the eyes, they were free to go around the Palace as they wish. But where (Y/N) could see them endlessly was next of him. All the damn time. This is what people call jealousy.

(Y/N) sighs again thinking about this all over again. She couldn’t stop, this feeling is stronger that she imagines. But it is time for her to accept her fated destiny…

‘Thanks Nana, I will go find him’ Replies finally (Y/N) while taking the granny in her arms for a hug, ‘And you, be careful at the market, okay? I’ll see you this evening!’ She then takes her leave and starts walking to the bridge, while waving to Nana on her way.

After a few minutes she catches sigh of her father who is rushing to reorganize some textiles in his barrow. (Y/N) speeds up to help him.

‘I’m here, father!’

‘Ah, there you are (Y/N)!’ exclaims her father, turning towards his daughter’s voice, smiling. ‘I was checking if I took all the textiles to show to the Pharaoh. There we go. Everything is ready, we can go.’

Both of them set off and cross the bridge heading to the Royal Palace. It is around twenty minutes walk on the other side of the river. This is the perfect time for father and daughter to chat together about anything. The Palace is located in the South of Giza by the Nile. The air is hot, as usual, but walking by the water creates a fresh breeze that lightens their steps.

‘I see you’re wearing the new dress you made yourself yesterday’ notices her father, a proud smile showing.

The dress worn by (Y/N) is her own creation. Her mother taught her at a young age how to weave textile to then sew it and create costumes, and (Y/N) took a great liking in it. Today she wears a straight mid-length dress in cream-colored linen she tinted, with the collar and straps sewed in big stripes of pearls. The bottom of it is embellished with some patterns of Isis’ feathers. Her feet are covered in strappy sandals in dark leather.

‘You really are talented, sweetheart. I am so proud of you’ continues her father. He adores his daughter more than anything in the world, and nothing could make him happier than seeing her walk on his steps. He is sure she will accomplish great things in the future.

‘Thank you, father’ smiles (Y/N), ‘Mother also helped me a lot with the pearls.’

‘You are both talented and beautiful women.’

A peaceful silent takes place in the discussion. Both of them were all smiles and little by little, the Royal Palace is appearing in the arid horizon. (Y/N)’s thoughts start to turn upside down again, her throat is dry, her hands sweaty and an uneasy feeling begins to grow in her stomach. For some time now, it was the same. A sort of odd stress that she felt as soon as she was near the Pharaoh’s Royal Palace. The Pharaoh.

‘Your mother and I combined two types of linen to create a new type of textile. I wonder if it will be to the Pharaoh’s liking.’

Everything goes blank around her and her father’s words wanders in the air. Could I appeal to the Pharaoh? That’s impossible… (Y/N) never spoke directly to the Pharaoh, or maybe if she had to present or give some information about a textile. She just assisted her father in his task so she couldn’t imagine getting herself noticed or, even worst, being seen as someone disrespectful to the royal family. And ruin all her father’s business.

But the Pharaoh has, in fact, an intriguing personality. (Y/N) could sometimes feel his eyes on her when she was displaying textiles, while her father kept explaining all the details and features. Or he would just call her and ask her to come closer to “see the textiles better”. Of course it was not the textiles he was looking at.

‘(Y/N), we are here.’

As waking up in the middle of a dream, (Y/N) gets a grip of herself and they in fact arrived. She can’t even remember passing near the guards at the entrance.

Come on, (Y/N). Breath in…. And out…

Her father put the barrow next to the entrance archway that leads to the throne room. He picks some textiles, keeps them under his arm and starts to walk inside the Palace.

‘Father, I err… I think I will stay outside a bit. I-I got a bit hot when walking so I will join you… A bit later…’ mumbles (Y/N) while playing with her thumbs.

‘Are you sure? Do you want me to ask some water to the Phara-‘

‘No! no no no, don’t worry, father… R-Really, I just need to rest a little’ insists (Y/N), showing him a begging look.

‘If you insist, sweetheart… Sit in a shade place and do not hesitate to ask if you need something. You can join me when you feel better’ finishes her father slightly worried, but still left a kiss on her forehead. Deciding not to insist on it, he enters the Palace before glancing one last time at (Y/N) who, to reassure him, smiles and waves at him to go.

Finally alone, (Y/N) moves the barrow and places it in the shade of a jasmine tree. She decides to sit down on the sandy ground, back against the open side of the barrow and head lying of some textiles that make great pillows. She closes her eyes and empties her mind. The jasmine above her leaves a delicate perfume in the air, big palm trees swing there leafs with the wind and some birds sing in the distance. So calm. The breeze of the Nile is still refreshing the air, to (Y/N)’s pleasure. This oasis is a true haven of peace and nobody here to disturb her.

‘At least I will not see him today…’

‘I hope you’re not talking about me?’

(Y/N) jumps and lets out a squeal. She then brutally stops in her tracks of standing up because she loses her balance and lands with a chaotic “BOOM” in the middle of textiles in the barrow. And she hears that same voice chuckling at her. Its seems kind of familiar… That’s weird… Wait- When she finds her way out the piles of textiles – careful not to damage something – and is ready to stand up, she can’t believe who is in front of her.

‘I didn’t think you would be that fearful, (Y/N).’

No, that’s not possible…

Well it is?! Right in front of her eyes is the Pharaoh himself. He stands there, towering her, his torso puffed out and hands on his hips. Clearly (Y/N) couldn’t help admiring that true masterpiece. His naked and defined torso displays a pectoral collar made of golden slab, beautify with many gemstones such as lapis lazuli, cornelian and turquoise. His wrists, biceps and ankles adorn very large bracelets that look heavy just by watching them. About his costume, he wears a classic shendyt around his waist, extending to above the knees and hold by embroiled gold and blue belt. His sandals are similar to (Y/N)’s but more sophisticated with gemstones. Finally rests on his head his shiny khepresh on which the uraeus stays in the middle of his forehead like a third eye. (Here is a link of Tom’s outfit -> https://goopics.net/i/WLDoV)

And it is after a few seconds of total blank but mostly of delicious contemplation that (Y/N) comes back to her senses (again) and becomes aware of what is happening. Panicked, she throws herself at the Pharaoh’s feet.

‘I BEG YOUR PARDON, OH MY PHARA-‘

‘Calm down, (Y/N), no need to act like this!’ Laughs heartily the young king while looking at the trembling woman, forehead pressed against the ground. ‘Stand up, please.’

(Y/N) consents to his demand and begins to raise only her head but after another approving look of the Pharaoh, she stands on her two legs shaking the sand off her dress. She doesn’t dare to look at him in the eyes and her heart beats so hard it could jump out of her chest at any moment.

‘You are an emotional woman, (Y/N). Wait. Don’t move and close your eyes.’

What?

The Pharaoh moves his hand closer to (Y/N)’s face so she instinctively shuts her eyes, before she feels fingers brushing the remaining sand off of her forehand. When they gently slide on her cheek and disappear, she then opens her eyes and flutters her long eyelashes a few times.

‘There you go, you are as gorgeous as before.’

‘I-I, my Pharaoh Tutankha-‘

The aforesaid Tutankhamun interrupts her by putting his index on her plump lips.

‘I already told you to call me “Tom” when we are alone.’ Another quirkiness of his. ‘And please forget about “my king”, “my Pharaoh” and other honorific titles, it makes me feel so much older than I look like…’ whines “Tom”.

He is still a child.

‘… As you wish, “Tom”’ answers (Y/N) with a simple but humble nod, smiling. Then she asks ‘My father is already inside the Palace to display our textiles, shouldn’t you be there?’

‘I told Mother to do the job today because I wanted to get some fresh air…’ He sigh before adding ‘… At least I got the opportunity to be in your company.’

And here is the smooth Pharaoh again.

‘I’m sure your concubines would appreciate your presence even more if you join them…’

‘Pff, they are not really useful to me besides-‘

‘With all due respect, Tom, these kind of details don’t concern me. At all’ suddenly interrupts (Y/N), looking away with displeasing eyes just by the thought of him being… Intimate with ALL these DIFFERENT women.

Stay calm (Y/N), don’t lose it.

There is a heavy silence between them and Tom doesn’t waste time to break it. ‘Excuse me, (Y/N)… It didn’t mean to broach this subject…’ He corrects himself while scratching the back of his neck, feeling a bit awkward and calling himself stupid in his head. And that is when (Y/N) could notice some strands of hair poking out his headgear. In fact she also notes that its way too forward on his forehead.

‘If you will allow me, Tom…’ She steps closer, stretching her arms out to finally grab his headgear between her head. ‘Your khepresh moved… I will arrange it.” And (Y/N) replaces it the right way. She decides not to mention about the adorable rebellious hair, choosing to gaze at them when he will not look.

Unconsciously, (Y/N)’s hands leave Tom’s headgear to slide and slowly caress his face, ending their way on his jawline.

Her hands are soft for a weaver… So soft, thoughts Tom, lost in his countless dreams and fantasies.

‘Thank you, (Y/N).’

When (Y/N) is aware of her action, she hurries to take away her hands but the young Pharaoh is faster and catches them back, his grasp firm but at the same time gentle.

‘These hands can create many beautiful textiles… I wonder what other wonderful things they could do for me…’

He brings her hands up to leave kisses on them. (Y/N)’s cheeks turn as red as she got sunburned. His eyes oh my his eyesstare deep in her soul, full of such desire that (Y/N) couldn’t think of something to say. She is like hypnotized, captivated by this man’s handsome figure and unctuous words.

‘C-Come on, Tom… Don’t say-’

‘Yes (Y/N), I insist… You are much more precious to me than you can imagine…’

Hands intertwined, they never look away. They stare hungrily at each other, like they could devour a one in front of them with the eyes. The only sound heard is the ibis flying over the gigantic garden to go to the Nile. How could (Y/N) even think about THE Pharaoh of Egypt himself being so interested in her, daughter of traders-weavers? And yet, Tom couldn’t look away or even think about doing so.

Is this a sign from Hathor, Goddess of love?

‘Follow me (Y/N), let’s have a walk around the oasis’ proposes Tom and before waiting for any answer, he drags her with him and goes down the stairs that leads to the Palace gardens. (Y/N) doesn’t even protest, she already knows that nothing can stop the young Pharaoh when he has an idea in mind.

Once they arrive in the oasis – that is a private place only reserved to the Royal Family – and walk for a bit, they stop in front of a huge pond liven up with tones of aquatic plants, fishes and birds. Rows of acacia and jasmine trees surround it, as if to hide the pond from curious eyes, but some sunrays continue to reflect on the clear water coming from the Nile nearby.

Astonished, (Y/N) gets close to the pond, full of life, while slowly letting loose on Tom’s grasp. He lets her go without a word and admires her in a loving way. He wishes he could keep this delightful image engraved in his mind until he dies: this woman with a goddess’ aura, the sun warming her impeccable skin and her hair dancing like her dress in rhythm with the wind and the leafs.

I want to make her mine.

Then (Y/N) turns and calls out to the Pharaoh ‘Tom, come see how beautiful the fishes are!’

In a snap (don’t you dare laugh at that word), the young king joins her at the water’s edge. He perfectly knows all species in the oasis, fishes included, but every second is a chance to be with the one he secretly loves so much. Once next to (Y/N), Tom wraps an arm around her hips and embraces her. Both of them, one head laying on the other, admire the exotic fishes shaking and splashing everywhere in the pond.

But in reality Tom and (Y/N) look at their reflection in the water. Both reflections, standing together, bodies interlacing lovingly.

And in a whisper Tom takes his chance ‘(Y/N), please, be my Queen.’

(Y/N) bits the inside of her cheek because it is like her dreams comes true, little by little but still is.

And stopping herself from laughing she answers ‘First, you get rid of the tones of kohl around your eyes and then of all your harem.’

‘Isn’t it more important to start with the girls and then the kohl?’

And (Y/N) couldn’t stop herself anymore and lets out a heartily laugh. Her answer is silly, his answer is also silly. But this entire situation is even sillier that (Y/N) could imagine. And Tom of course joins her and laughs.

‘No, first the kohl because there is too much of it and because I like looking at your eyes all natural.’

‘You’re right. Actually this thing is such a pain that my eyes get irritated at the end of the day’ huffs Tom blinking exaggeratedly his eyes at (Y/N) while approaching his face of hers, looking like a crazy man. (Y/N) doesn’t stop to laugh at him. And she impresses herself and dares to leave a kiss on the corner of his mouth, which gets him by surprise.

‘And then I want those girls out of here, and after we can discuss about this Queen thing’ murmurs (Y/N) still close to his lips.

‘Don’t tempt me (Y/N), I might get a bit too excited and do all that just for you’ adds seductively Tom brushing his lips against hers, while smirking.

‘Aren’t you the Pharaoh?’

‘I sure am the Pharaoh of Egypt, love…’

And all of the sudden Tom lifts (Y/N), making her leave her a surprised squeal, and carries her bride style. Now he can’t hold anymore and kisses her straight on the lips and they both savor this moment.

‘… And I will show you now.’

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