#because there must be something wrong with it or it wouldn't be selling for what it is

[lunarlegend]

the cutest little house just popped up on my home search thing, and i'm waiting for my realtor to get back to me and tell me what's wrong with it 🙃😩

[portraitofadyke]

what's been bugging me is how some people, especially steddyhands shippers, seem to ignore Stede's complete blind spot that is Ed. I've been rereading some post s1 fix-its, and it's amazing how almost every one of their reunions had Stede blaming Ed for marooning the crew and attempting to kill Lucius (same with ppl's expectation that there would be some sort of physical fight). And then he just. Doesn't.

Stede obviously cares for the crew. A lot. But the moment Ed's well being is in the picture, he becomes hyperfocused on Ed and Ed only. Obviously the crew told him about being marooned, but we don't see him mention that once in his letters. They reunite with Lucius, and yet all Stede talks about is Ed (and his poor portrayal on his wanted posters)- Lucius confesses about Ed throwing him overboard, and all Stede does is question 'why?', because he knows Ed wouldn't just randomly attempt to murder Lucius. The moment Lucius tells him Stede broke Ed, Stede is back to blaming himself, never Ed. He clearly cares about Lucius, because later in the ep, he tries to reconcile with him by giving him 'dating advice' and trying to save him from what happened to him and Ed, but Ed comes first.

We actually see it in s1 too, if only briefly, in s7 when Stede desperately tries to keep Ed abroad and becomes oblivious to the crew's concerns and problems and we get the iconic line "Eat and apple, for God's sake!" Stede cares, but Ed is at the front of his mind and it's hard for him to understand what could be more important.

In s02e03, he gets his ship and the rest of his crew back, but Ed is nowhere. Izzy is literally missing a leg and Stede just tells him to piss off.

And I've seen people questioning why Stede never questioned that, why he never bothered to ask about Izzy's missing toe or back scars or why he didn't care about the leg more. Izzy clearly lies again and tells Stede Ed shot it off because he told Ed he loves him, and yet stede just. Doesn't care.

And i mean, that question is valid. Because people see Stede as someone who's much more caring, more hero-coded. But Stede is far more a romantic hero to Ed than he is your general hero to the rest of the characters. Stede is selfish. Stede is blind-sided. Stede is willing to abandon his morals when it comes to Ed.

I think there are two reasons Stede doesn't question Izzy's Ed-inflicted-injuries, or any other, for that matter. First one is, Stede's blind spot for Ed. Yeah, Izzy got his leg shot off by Ed (not entirely true, but I digress), but there must have been a reason why. Yeah, Izzy got his toes cut off and hand-fed, but Ed had a reason. Stede knows Ed is not violent by default, so he knows something must have prompted him to do that. Is it completely justified? That's a differenr convo about people trying to portray Izzy as a victim rather than someone who kept pushing Ed over the edge until they were both too far.

The second is... Yeah, Stede just doesn't care. Especially about Izzy. Lie it's been pointed out, Stede just thinks izzy is a dick. He misnames him. He's rightuflly mad at him for selling them out to the english. He literally dreams about killing Izzy for that. Stede blames himself for abandoning Ed and everything that happened after (and yes, Ed's actions are Ed's actions, but that's how Stede sees it), but he clearly also blames Izzy for setting them up.

So, Stede sees Izzy's missing leg? Probably deserved that. Back scars, missing toe? Eh, probably deserved that, too, Ed would look absolutely lovely in a braid. Is that morally correct? No, but Stede isn't written to be a moral character. That's what makes him so real, and that's why so many other actors than Rhys would struggle making Stede sympathetic and likeable to the audiences.

That's not to say Stede doesn't see Ed's wrongs. He absolutely does. He just. Doesn't care that much in the end, because his love for all of Ed is that bright, to the point of being absolutely, utterly selfish. DJenkins said it from the beginning; this show is about Ed and Stede's relationship. Stede doesn't question Izzy's injuries bc in the end, it just doesn't matter to him when Ed is in the picture

[a-person-whos-alive]

Why TotK fails Zelda

Heads up, this is a long post. Ive cut this down like a motherfucker but it still reads very long. My thoughts are divided into four main categories;

1. Her relationship with her magic & tech

2. Her relationship with Hyrule

3. Her relationship with Link

4. Her relationship with the player

Also, these are my opinions, I'm certain there are people with far better analysis skills than me! I am just in love with this franchise and a little disappointed with the recent game. Zelda as a character holds a special place in my heart and its sad that her character was done dirty like this.

Theres a TLDR at the end and before I forget, SPOILERS!!!

1. Her relationship with her magic & tech

Zelda is not someone who magic came easily to, and I think BotW & AoC did a great job exploring that. They contrasted her natural interest with the sheikah technology and her lack of power and it was 😘👌

How did TotK do? With the Zonai tech being the main selling point, how would Zelda, a scholar at heart, interact with it? To my memory, the only interaction she has is to put Mineru's soul into a piece of Sheikah tech and hand it to a construct.

Well what about magic? Finding out she has light AND time powers was at first a great throwback to OoT with the Sage of Time. The fact that her Time magic awakened immediately unlike the Light magic in the last game was a nice contrast. But then, she immediately has a similar dilemma, she can't USE her magic to propel herself forward because she doesnt know how. Unlike BotW though, she has the "mother" she was lacking to teach her. This was a decent set-up. It was different enough to be its own thing but still was familiar enough. This is up to memory 4 - Mineru's Council

The issue the NEXT MEMORY, memory 5 - Gerudo Assualt shows her being even more proficient than Sonia. We don't see her train, or struggle, or even ask a question about how the stone works. She just does. It's not until memory 8 do we see her get any guidance about her powers? And even then we don't see her attempt recall at all. In the next memory she simply uses it perfectly and effortlessly.

The purpose of her strengthening Time Magic was to get back home. Yet, she gets back home by swallowing a sacred stone, that she already had the ability to do at any point. She turns into the LIGHT dragon, using her LIGHT magic to strengthen the Master Sword. Her whole arc about her magic was pointless because in the end she used the powers from the previous game for everything important.

2. Her relationship with Hyrule

Positives first! Its clear that Zelda loves her people, and during the 7? year gap she obviously took the time to connect with them and problem solve. Penn's quest really demonstrates this, and so does the Hateno school quest. (Even if the children don't believe in the Calamity). I found it very endearing that the people had such faith in her, that even with Ganondorf causing havoc with her face, people refused to believe it. The Great Fairies MUST have seen wrong because it was dark, Dorephan MUST have been mistaken, the Stable Trotters MUST have seen someone else - Zelda wouldn't do that.

I additionally liked that Zelda wasn't immediately trying to set up a monarchy again. In fact, she seemed to be doing the opposite. She wasn't living in Central Hyrule, at Looking Landing, she was living in Hateno. She was a teacher, and on some level a researcher (even if the Don Dons were scrapped ideas from the first trailer).

But the second she goes to the past, she is put back in her box. Her interests in tech are non-existant, she does not interact with anyone who isn't royalty, the King doesn't listen to her about Ganondorf and tells her to not to worry - after all she's just supposed to wear that white dress and hope her magic works soon. She's regressed back to before the Calamity, waiting for something terrible she knows is coming and is powerless to stop.

Crucially, she doesn't speak to Ganondorf once.

This is by far the most egregious waste of their characters in my opinion, and I've just deleted a 3 paragraph Ganondorf discussion - another time. But come on! This is legitimately the PERFECT scenario for Zelda to find about about WHY people opposed her royal family, WHY everyone she's ever loved died in Calamity caused by this guy, WHY she's had to go through all this. But no, if they did talk, it wasn't on screen.

Ive seen in translations of parts of one of the interviews with a developer saying she was able to see what a ruler should be like by going to the past, but until a see an official source I'm going to hope that's not true

3. Her relationship with Link

"Link is still entrusted with the role of protecting Princess Zelda." - Hidemaro Fujibayashi https://www.npr.org/2023/09/13/1199307678/zelda-tears-of-the-kingdom-dlc-video-game. Maybe I'll write a post about Link sometime, but I'm focusing on just him and Zelda.

Whether you ship the two or not, the pair would obviously have a unique bond from both fighting the Calamity and losing the Champions/everyone. So, how did the pair cope with the destruction of everything the love? How did Zelda come to terms with the ruins of Castle Town, the harsh reality of all those who were dead? Zelda doesn't have Link's amnesia to temporarily soften the inital blow.

TotK explores none of this.

Similarly, there is a level of formality on how Zelda speaks of Link. When she tells Rauru of Link she starts, "He is a royal knight. He had been originally appointed for my protection, but later he became a hero by saving both me and Hyrule from a great evil". Not "he and I became close" or even "he became my friend". Zelda is talking to the two people closest to her right now,

All their interactions are the bare minimum.

Link has ALWAYS been a self insert for the player, but he's still a character, and more recently Nintendo has been acting like having emotions means a player can't project onto them. Zelda is Link's closest person, and when she returns he is piece of cardboard, at least help her up!

4. Her relationship with the player

First, as everyone who played BotW will know, many things were removed or changed in TotK to allow it to be standalone for new players. Sheikah tech was removed, important characters forgot Link, the majority of the last game was rarely if ever mentioned. Kass

However TotK does not properly establish Link and Zelda for new fans AND doesnt not elaborate for old fans. They interact twice until the end - the intro and memory 1. All of her characterisation is in that little history moment, the rest of it is 50% sacred power lore and 50% time power lore. Additionlly, anyone who is new to the game has no context for her light powers.

Actually, TotK literally retcons her light magic to be from Rauru and not Hylia. Which was the WHOLE POINT of BotW so great sequelling there guys.

TLDR: The Conclusion

Wow, you made it this far. Or you skipped to end, I would too. My main gripes with Zelda:

> She doesn't interact with Zonai Tech.

> Her arc is about learning time power to go home, only for her to not use said magic and instead use the light magic from the last game to fix the sword and be a light dragon.

> Having her worries about Ganondorf shot down by the King and not holding her ground/ insisting (did you learn nothing from Rhoam??)

> never interacting with Ganondorf him being in Hyrule as a diplomat

> nintendos approach to her and link, they dont once touch while both conscious. Not even a handshake or pat on the shoulder. See images above with prev. Zelda and Link.

> the instance on making it not complicated for accessibility to new players, but also not fleshing it out enough to be compelling on its own.

[crossdressingdeath]

Lord Enver Gortash: Ah - a familiar face, and a fondly-remembered one indeed. How have you been, Karlach? Karlach: Very, very hot. Lord Enver Gortash: You're agitated. I'd keep an eye on that. My Steel Watch are sensitive to anything they perceive as a threat. Karlach: Very clever, fabricating people to do your fighting for you. But they won't be able to protect you forever, Gortash. Lord Enver Gortash: I never meant to harm you, dear, merely to help you realise your vast potential. Karlach: You sent me to the Hells. You let Zariel take my heart. As though any of it was yours to give away. Lord Enver Gortash: The greater good, Karlach. Something I wouldn't expect you to understand. Karlach: You feel no regret, do you. All right. How about fear then? Lord Enver Gortash: Oh, you do quite misunderstand. I've already made a deal with your companion. We need each other. Karlach: Do we now? Kyvir: Easy, Karlach; we won't make it far against the Steel Watch. Lord Enver Gortash: Listen to reason, for once in your life. I'm sorry you feel wronged about how things ended between us, but that was ten years ago. We must look to the future. Karlach: You have no future. Karlach: There will come a time, sooner than you think, when death comes knocking at your door. You'll swing that door open, and you'll cower before what you see, and you'll beg, 'Please, Karlach. Spare me.' Karlach: I can't wait.

The wild part of this is, I think Gortash actually means it when he says he never meant to harm Karlach. It was an immensely fucked up thing to do to her and I don't believe for a second he misses that as much as he's pretending to, but I fully agree with the post I've seen around suggesting that on at least some level Gortash was playing out his own trauma with Karlach in his place with the expectation that she'd come out the other side stronger like he did (also immensely fucked up like he did, but hey! Who's counting?) and actually did think he was doing her a favour. I mean, he definitely knew that it was a horrific thing to do to someone who trusted him for personal gain and he's an awful, awful person for it, but it is an interesting point of characterization to consider. Also I vaguely remember seeing someone talking about a dialogue path (maybe only if you're playing Karlach?) where Gortash says essentially "You knew what I was, why did you not see this coming?" and I didn't get that here but it's very fun. He's got a bit of a point, but also I can say without a second of doubt that if Karlach knew he was the type to sell her to a devil who'd replace her heart with an engine she would not have worked for him. He was absolutely hiding his worst attributes from her; she didn't see it coming because she didn't know what he was. God he's such a rat bastard of a man.

It also says so much about Karlach that even with the man she hates more than anyone else right here in front of her and even with him deliberately antagonizing her (you can't tell me that "Something I wouldn't expect you to understand" and "I've already made a deal with your companion, we need each other" and "Listen to reason, for once in your life" aren't Gortash deliberately antagonizing her like the rat bastard he is) she'll still stand down if you ask her to. She trusts the player character so much that she'll tolerate an alliance with her literal worst enemy out of faith that they have a plan! And with remarkably good grace under the circumstances. He absolutely deserves to die at her hands and deserves even more to beg for her to spare him and be left entirely at her mercy the same way she was left at his.

[ganondoodle]

I was at first in love with totk, and I still think mechanical wise, its quite impressive

And when I collected all the tears and saw the "story" I genuinely got upset in a good way (at first), because man! Did they really got the balls to go that far? Is there nothing I can do for her? Now I MUST do all the temples, see how it plays out and --oh, I've got this cutscene already. Why are all the people so dumb about Zelda, I KNOW where she is, Link say something-- Link??

After finishing all the temples and almost falling asleep, I stopped playing the game, looked up the last boss and remaining cutscenes and went "Thats it?"

Watching other people (including you) being critically about so many things, both character and mechanical wise, I've almost startled myself with a realization what the gnawing feeling I constantly had, actually was.

Totk feels like a fanfic.

And don't get me wrong, I love fanfiction, I think its great and important, I adore fanfic writers, I love finding gems, I love reading self indulgent stories, see new spins and interpretation of characters. I love the casual, the passion, the creativity!

But totk gives me the same feeling everytime I am reminded that Fifty Shades is a Twillight fanfic.

The world is there. The faces I know and grew to love are there. But everything is ever so slightly different, uncannily so. Just how some characters talk, how they act, how they were placed in the story. The Zonai appearing out of nowhere, but no, they always had been there you see, they were these super magical advanced people but they all died, the king is so tragic. And you see, the king is super cool and powerful and-- oh I dont get to interact with him outside of the tutorial. Did they try to do another King Rhoam-- but wait, that only worked because we didn't knew he was a ghost-- totk wait stop why do you take him out of the story, why couldn't he be a companion, he IS ABLE TO TALK THROUGH THE ARM LET THE OLD GOAT COMMENT ON STUFF?? If you bring up all this ancient stuff and you still got a ghost lingering, let him talk?? (I never ended up getting Mineru but I smell wasted potential as well)

Im not even mad, I am disappointed. It feels like the devs saw what all the lore hunters got attached to and talked about and then just... took the "cool". All the Zonai stuff could've easily been Sheikah tech, but got just reskinned to look more exciting instead of being its own thing.

Like... at this point I prefer what fans are doing over what Totk gave us. The characterization of Rauru (and everything Zonai), projects like you do of what totk couldve been, the little nuggets of actual highlights and details of love fans find in the game. I found much more enjoyment in these concepts than I got from a 70bucks game. And thats depressing.

I love fanfiction. I dont love it when my corporate 70 dollar, six year development, console exclusive game feels like a story that passionate fan couldve written miles better in a week (and I've already seen much cooler and interesting rewrites and ideas).

Zelda has been a huge part of my childhood and its depressing seeing it treated like that. It always was about the story, the epic, its The Legend of Zelda for crying out loud. To be courageous to enter a dungeon, to be wise and solve all the riddles. To become powerful over the journey you embarked on. Zelda to me is the campfire story you tell to others and go into the woods or the beach and imagine what monsters you would slay. Zelda is not the sandcastle you build in the sandbox and then add dinosaurs and star wars ships because you didn't had any other toys, and just stumble into and over some story to entertain yourself until lunch is ready.

I'd have an oracle of seasons over another totk any day at this point. They should've just make the mechanics of totk its own thing, but I guess they were scared it wouldn't sell if it doesn't have a Mario or Zelda skin straped over it.

Anyways, sorry for the mini rant - love your art, love your thoughts and insights, and I am looking forward to see more of it - Zelda related or not (your original characters look amazing, I adore your style sm)

Hope you have a great rest of the day!

*nods along through this entire rant*

idk how many of my rants you have read but yeah ... yeah ... and the further you think about it the further it all falls apart, the wasted potential of it all and the goddamn audacity of them to do those interviews in which they make it EVEN WORSE is just

i know the expectation for a direct sequel to botw was huge and understandbly so but i really REALLY think it would not have been that hard to make it a good follow up even taking into account that totk was originally a DLC, pretty much all of botws aspects could have been developed further, i dont know what could have happened to make totk have turned out like this .. literally it feels like something had to have gone wrong, its like someone who doesnt know zelda nor botw at all was given a few prompts and then just made some generic fantasy story while the rest worked on ultrahand for 5 years

the technical impressive things ARE technical impressive, but i dont think it was necessary nor served the game well in any way (and i LOVE building games- however totk is neither a building game nor a story game nor a zelda game nor an exploration game nor a sequel imo) but zelda, this zelda, is not made for that and i cant help but think it was mainly to encourage people to make some ridiculous mechs so it can go viral on tiktok (not trying to discredit them, it IS cool what they are doing but i .... have my doubts if zelda is the right place for that)

ill stop there bc i have ranted so much about everything i dont wanna repeat it here again; it just doesnt feel like a real game (derogatory), it feels extra bad bc i was not really into zelda when botw came out and while i did get it as soon as i could (months after release since i just started a minijob and didnt have the money) i only over time grew to love zelda this much again, devouring any theories and anything about it bc i loved it so much- i was never into it like this when a new title was announced and dont own any special editions so i bought the totk collectors bc i was just so damn excited for it after the 2019 trailer dropped (god i want that time back ... it looked so much more like it was going to be an actual sequel) even if i was already worried it wouldnt be good at that point given how much i started to sense stuff i dont like about the newer trailers

i recently sold it at our local gameshop bc it was like a thorn in my side given how expensive it was and how dissapointed i was in the game, i genuinely think that, technical impressiveness aside, totk is the onyl zelda i truly cannot stand (for alot of reasons) and im genuinely worried for the future of the franchise

i bought an Oki (Okami) figurine for what i got back and i feel much happier with that :3

(also on a note, i did finish the game two weeks after release but stopped playing it right then and hadnt touched it since, i also streamed all of what i played and its still up if you want to see my slow descend into madness fjkdhkdhjk though its been a long while since then and i by far did not talk about everything back then, just what my most immediate frustrations were while still playing)

(also the gameplay isnt as good as people make it out to be, so much is so frustrating and punishing to use i am kinda baffled it got through like that and most people call that its best aspect ..... though i guess if the rest is so much worse even mid gameplay can seem good ooooooooh how dare i)

also thank you for liking what i do!!! <3 it means alot to know it is appreciated by someone :D

[lailosh]

You know... I must confess something.

Personally, I was never a fan of sell insert shipping. Not that I think there's anything wrong with it of course there isn't, it's just that I'm the kind of person who enjoys seeing their favorite characters interact with each other/ fell in love more because I just find it really hard to see myself in those types of situations and honestly I wouldn't even know how to go about it 😭.

But recently (and because of the kind of commissions that I've been getting) it's kind of starting to grow on me a little ngl. Like yes you go queen, if that fictional character were to become real they would absolutely be deeply in love with you like what do you even mean.

My only issue is that I STILL can't get to imagine myself in one 🥲 which I know sounds silly but I feel like I'm missing on a lot of fun over here 😭

[qiutls]

TNGDH 006

Contrary to my concern, Kyle didn't kill anyone.

When I saw the blade of the knife flash so menacingly, I really thought he was going to kill those three people, but instead he just subdued the thieves.

​No, to be honest, it's a bit lacking to say subdued.

― Eek [ H-hello? ]

Kyle actually overpowered the three guys easily. Two of them fainted in an instant and the last one stood trembling like an aspen tree. 

​As for the last man, it wasn't that Kyle couldn't knock him out, he just controlled his strength, and kept throwing punches, seemingly venting his anger.

"Who sent you?"

​Kyle asked while placing the knife near the thief's neck.

"If you tell me the truth, then your life will be spared."

​"U-uh, w-we were just l-looking for something worth some money, t-that's all!"

"Something you can sell?"

​It wasn't completely wrong, but it was a bit of a reach.

Didn't you say you were going to kidnap or kill the woman hidden by him. Now, just because you're in front of Kyle, you became a weak person. Obviously if the person you're in front of was a weak person, you guys wouldn't hesitate to rob.

Not to mention, these insignificant guys didn't even have a plan and were just impulsively taking stuff. Compared to other nobles, the study of the Northern Grand Duke is not heavily guarded, so it would have been easy to enter.

"No one told you to kidnap the demonic beast?"

​Kyle said grimly.

"This is the last question."

"T-that, u-hm, i-it."

The trembling thief somehow raised his head and looked me in the eye. Why? What? Why are you looking at me you hamster kidnapper!

"It was because of the demonic beast." basically the thief is saying they were trying to take out Soohyun out of the cage, because Soohyun manipulated them.

That's right, you went into this study thinking you'd find a woman who was hidden by the duke, but instead you found me, an ordinary hamster eating almonds, you must be embarrassed.

Kyle's gaze quickly scanned the study. Some of the papers related to the Blake's estate administration were disorganized on top of the desk, along with a few macadamia... My snacks.

Kyle raised his sword roughly and unevenly, making the thief nervous at the fact that the sword would cut his throat at any moment.

"That, t-that, Grand Duke-"

​Thump.

The masked man who still standing up until a second ago, collapsed to the floor. The way he fell in front of me, shocked me into jumping away and causing me to be stuck at the corner of the house.

You scared me to death. Why would you fall right in front of me! You even made eye contact while collapsing!

"Cashew Nut."

​Kyle reached into the hamster house and lifted me carefully.

"Are you alright? You must have been very surprised."

― Eek... [ Listen here.. ]

"Don't worry now, the festival is just around the corner and these people didn't seem like trained assassins, so I'll just lock them in the underground prison instead of killing them. As for the guests from the Imperial City..."

​Kyle nodded briefly.

"Yes, there should be no noise, it won't do if you're bothered again."

― Squeak [ That's not it. ]

"When the important things are done, I'll take you to play out on the fields."

― Eek [ I get it now, it's okay. ]

Can't you put down the knife first before telling me? Please move the fallen people away as well.

With what mind are you thinking, talking to the hamster first before alleviating this hideous atmosphere. No matter how, those people on the floor still tried to kidnap me okay.

―.....

Maybe it's because I became a mouse, my liver seems to have become as small as a mouse. It seems like my heart will flutter at the slightest sound.

When you look at it, in fact in this fantasy world, everything was all about swords and knifes.

The sense of intimidation from a blade that is used to cut down people and demonic beast is indeed different. If you can withstand that intimidation, then you must have a strong heart.

I'm not a coward though, originally all office workers have weak courage, it's normal.

"Your Highness!"

​― Squeak! [ Ah! You scared me! ]

Suddenly the door burst open and a bunch of armed people rushed inside. It seemed that the guards rushed in at the sound of intruders.

Are people in the north usually this bold?! What if the door breaks.

The loud noise made my whole-body shiver, and I slipped out of Kyle's palm quickly as a reflex action. My body was moving freely before I knew it, as if I was actually a hamster.

Anyway, I wanted to avoid loud noises and situations where a lot of people are looking at me. What can I do, my MBTI, starts with I.

"Cashew Nut!"

​While Kyle pushed away the fallen men at his feet, I stepped over the desk and jumped down. After running on the wheel for about 700 laps, doing this was as easy as stepping on stone.

I went down to the floor in an instant and went into the bottom of the bookshelf.

Since I'm small, I can even go into places like this. I felt comfortable once I was freed from the gaze of people who seemed to be frighteningly large. That's right, if you didn't know, you can hide in the ceiling or behind the walls, if you need space like me.

"Everyone get out!"

​Ack! His voice is so loud. It almost made me shiver all the way down again.

I crawled more and more towards the shadows, until I finally reached a place that's hard to clean, and a few lumps of dust hit my face.

"What do you mean, Your Highness?"

"Everyone leave."

Kyle's voice was cold and sharp like a blade. If they didn't leave in 10 seconds, I'm afraid they'll be meeting with Kyle's sword.

The soldiers squeezed out their strength and dragged the fallen bodies and went out of the door in a blink of an eye. It suddenly became quiet after the door was closed.

Kyle who had been staying still for a while came close to me.

"Come out, Cashew Nut. It's dangerous there."

​No, think about it. Isn't it more dangerous in the hamster house. The thieves came in and were about to take me just an hour ago.

"Please come out."

​He whispered in a desperate voice.

​His arm reached under the bookshelf, but it wasn't able to reach me. I picked out the fur on my front foot why looking at his outstretched hand.

The five fingers groping the floor looked very pathetic. He was fumbling around till he reached an ink lid that had fallen down at the corner... But why am I so at ease here?

[ Hamsters like dark places! ]

A system window popped up in front of me. Right, hamsters were nocturnal animals.

I looked at Kyle's hand with subtle acceptance, but he retrieved it back and was silent for a moment. This time something else came rushing in.

― Squeak! Squeak! [ What the! This crazy bastard! ]

The thing that suddenly went under the bookshelf was none other than his sword. Of course, the blade was covered, but it was still naturally scary if you knew what's underneath the cover. 

I shivered and hid deeper in the corner. I was already becoming one with the lump of dust as it clung to my fur.

"Please come out here, Cashew Nut, It's my fault."

​Is the Northern Grand Duke crazy? Why are you that desperate?

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight? I'll have to wash you first then you can do whatever you like. I won't leave you alone again."

―.....

That last sentence is a bit severe.

But to be honest, I did feel lonely. I spent my days in a hamster house as big as a playground, inside a study that's bigger than the studio I used to live in. Even humans would've felt this place was spacious, especially for hamsters...

Above all, once I learned that you were bound to die, I truly felt uncomfortable.

I only lived with you for a few days, but I sincerely want to save you, not just for the miracle value. I believe that people who love and are kind to animals are not bad people.

I carefully stepped out under the bookshelf, trying to avoid Kyle's sword. Once Kyle saw me, he threw his sword away, and held me dearly.

"You did the right thing."

Looking at this face, it's really sharpened by the northern air. Towards others it will look cold however to his beloved hamster it would be warm...

Kyle dusted my fur then headed to the bathroom, and washed my body with warm water from the sink.

That feels nice...

It felt like I was in a hot spring and had to put a towel on my head. By the way, can I really wash like this? I thought rodents shouldn't be bathed in water. I don't think there's anything wrong with my body right now though.

[ The northern field mouse loves water! ]

I see. That's a relief.

Afterwards, Kyle rubbed my fur several times and laid me on a cozy towel. It was such a skillful touch that it made me wonder if he had done this many times before.

I just kept laying still. It felt like a full body massage. Ah, a hamster's fate is indeed nice.

"You must be sleepy."

What a fiendish man. I forced my eyes to open even though my consciousness was slowly fading away.

I want to relax like this a bit more. Kyle picked me up, kissed me on the belly and made his way to his bedroom. I lay down at his bedside, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in a towel.

Is this heaven?​

I was rolling on the fluffy sheet when he suddenly put down a wheel beside me. What's this, did he bring it here because he thought I liked it?

I looked at Kyle once, then at the wheel, and with a look of amazement, kicked the wheel with my foot.

This pink Ferris wheel worked well as if it had been greased... What's this? Maybe because I'm used to running, I felt relaxed.

"I'll be back after a while, so just relax here, Cashew Nut."

​He petted me with his index finger and left the bedroom. Seems like there's quite a lot of work to finish after the fiasco earlier.

Not everyone can be the Northern Grand Duke.​

​Working overtime like this is not for everyone.

As I was turning the wheel with my feet, a thought popped up in my mind. This is a great opportunity, isn't it?

I quickly called up the system and checked the number of laps left.

[ 787/1000 ]

This should be finished pretty quickly.

​It's only about 200 times. I can even do this while eating almonds. I quickly got on the wheel and started running.

​Whiz. Whiz.

How stable. This is the best spin I've done on a wheel. It's much smoother than the other one.

I was excited at this development and ran quickly.

[ 864/1000 ] …… [ 958/1000 ] …… [ 990/1000 ]

And by the time only 10 laps were left.

"Cashew Nut."

​The door opened and Kyle entered the room.

I quickly jumped over to the towel-covered sheet and pretended as if nothing happened. I abandoned my dignity and pretended as if I were a hamster who was addicted.

Fortunately, Kyle confirmed with his eyes that I was okay didn't care about the moving wheel, went to the bathroom after leaving a message that he was going to wash up.

I sighed deeply and looked at the spinning wheel.

I need to wait for it to stop before I can go up and run again.​

I sat absentmindedly and watched it spin. Once it stopped completely, I got on it carefully.

[999/1000] [1000/1000]

​When the thousand laps were finally completed, a strange fanfare sounded out at the same time the system window popped up.

Well, what now?

[ You have learned "Summon" !  ]

[ Miracle value has risen! ]

[ Miracle value 5% ]

[ Do you want to use "Summon" ? ]

Right now? In here? Can I use it? ...?

​I pressed the [ YES ] button with my little front paw.

Then the same light that emitted from the system window swirled around me.

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[thatfreshi]

"It's Vile" (Uni AU P. 9)

You guys can clearly tell I'm feeling better bc holy shit, I've been writing like a machine.

tw - abuse, sexual trauma, blackmail

You tell Astarion which diner you're at, and quickly tell your friends that you have to handle something. You almost feel bad leaving Gale with the handsy lovers, but you know it must be important if he called. You don't really know why though, considering you barely know him at this point. It feels like hours, waiting outside the diner while the sun starts to go down, until eventually his dinged-up white car pulls into the parking lot. You walk over, full of uncertainty, and sit in the passenger's seat.

"Hey, you alright?"

He unbuckles the seat belt, curling up and leaning against the driver's seat to look at you.

"What do you want from me?"

"What?"

"Everyone wants something from me, so what do you want? I can't stop thinking about it, ever since you came over this morning. You're too nice, you have plenty of reasons to hate me, and yet you keep being kind. So what do you want from me?"

You're dumbfounded.

"Because we already had sex, and I know you're upset about it. Which, I'm sorry. I don't even know why I did it, and you're right, it was wrong of me to pretend like it was nothing. I'm just so used to it all meaning nothing. Everything in my life means nothing and you want to know stupid shit like what my favorite color is."

He wipes at his eyes, regretting it soon after, feeling the fabric of his sweater rub against that cut-up forearm again.

"I don't... I don't want anything from you. I just think you seem nice."

"I, seem nice? You're a bad liar."

"No, I'm serious. I know we got off to a weird start, but you seem cool. Maybe I'm weird, I don't know, but I don't really care what other people think. Besides, it's not fair to judge without knowing the whole story."

"You don't want the whole story."

"Not if you don't want to tell me, but I'd gladly listen."

"No, you wouldn't. It's all just words Tav, you don't mean that. No one ever means it. They say it to get into some fancy event or so I can get them a free drink or so they can make out with me in some dark corner of a party. No one ever means it."

"You don't have to believe me, but I mean it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Because if I were as stressed as you, I'd want someone to listen. And I imagine it's hard not being able to say all the things you want or do all the things you want."

"Even if I told you, you'd leave. Pretend we didn't have this conversation, or maybe sell the story to some magazine. Why do you think I don't talk to people? Why I think it's easier to just let people hate me? Like Gale and Shadowheart? I'd rather them just blindly loathe my existence than know the truth."

He's shaking, truly and deeply bothered by your innocent desire to befriend him.

"Just tell me what you want from me so I can get it over with. Please."

The spectacle in front of you isn't lost on you. When he called you upset, you hadn't expected this, any of it.

"I just want you to have someone in your corner. That's all. I just want to be nice, I don't know."

"People don't want to be nice, they want power."

You shrug, trying not to cry.

"Power's never really been my thing. Is it so hard to believe I just want a friend?"

He chokes out a laugh.

"You have no idea."

Astarion relaxes a little now, putting his feet up on the dash.

"Something must be so incredibly wrong with you."

"Maybe so. Oh well."

"You said you want to hear all the scary stuff I have to tell you right? That you'd listen to all that?"

"Like I said, only if you want to share."

"Alright then. I got kicked out at sixteen, lived in this damn car for two years, started modeling because I've always been told I was 'gonna be a heartbreaker.' I've thrown my body at people to get jobs, stolen countless designer pieces that nobody would miss. And then Szarr contacted me at 18, told me he'd blacklist me from the industry if I didn't work for him."

He goes back to the sorrow of those younger years for a moment, you can see it shift in his expression.

"I was the first you know. You think my arm is bad? You have no idea. But I'm stuck in this contract with him, and I need the money to pay for school, but he takes ninety percent anyways. So I've continued to steal, anything from half-used makeup to hair products. Turns out it's really easy to get people to shut up about seeing you take something that isn't yours if you're hot... and I probably broke at least seven NDAs by telling you all of that. So, is that what you wanted? I can see the headline now, you'd make thousands."

Astarion's words drip in spite, trying anything to get you to admit you're using him.

"I'm sorry, that you've had to go through any of that. Truly, that sounds horrible."

He leans back staring at the ceiling of the old car, and starts to laugh.

"God, who are you? I did all of that to myself. I'm the one who used sex to get things I wanted. I'm the one that asked for this."

"Sounds to me like you just wanted to survive."

He chuckles, and rolls his head to meet your eyes.

"I guess I did, huh? It's barely been working."

You both sit in silence for a bit, listening to the idle engine, and you wonder what you can even say. He's right, there's pretty much no way out. What an evil thing, to take advantage of some kid who just wanted to go to college, and loop him into some horrible contract? No wonder he doesn't trust anyone, he's been taught that way, that helping hands only hold knives, that promises don't hold. It's vile.

"So, this is the part where you sleep with me, so you don't tell anyone anything I just told you, right?"

You go to laugh, and then realize he's serious.

"No... no not at all. I'm just here to be a friend, if that's what you want. Only if that's what you want."

"Damn you. You just... you keep making me want to trust you, and that's- it's terrifying. But I wouldn't mind, having a friend. Maybe it would even be nice."

You hold out a hand.

"Here's to being friends then."

Astarion doesn't extend his at first, thinking on it, and then slowly shakes hands with you.

"Sure. To being friends."

A smile spreads across your face, and he reciprocates, if only slightly.

"I uhm, when I saw Szarr today, he said that the seven of us have to go on a trip with him for a week, some important stuff across the country I guess. So, I'll be gone tomorrow morning, but maybe we can text?"

"Of course, I'd love that."

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

... What if Walter became a vampire?

Actually, now that I think about it, that would be very bad for everyone involved. Like Mike said, the man is a time bomb and you don't want to be around for the boom.

Somehow, I can imagine Walter ends up destroying the Volturi and dooming humanity after a full season of thinking Aro is going to kill him any second.

The thing is, Walter White probably wouldn't run into the Volturi and he wouldn't really be able to conceptualize them as powerful people or people he wants to be (e.g. Gus). To him they'd be nutjobs who go around killing vampires and insist on them all being secret.

Walter agrees he shouldn't be near people as he ah tends to eat them but... well...

But to back up a bit, let's turn Walt into a vampire.

Walter White's Problems Go Sideways

We'll say that Walt has already started. He's learned he has lung cancer, he's found Jesse, he's killed Crazy Eight in his basement and had to do the cleanup, and things are not going great but meth is being made.

Then he gets eaten by a vampire.

Only, the vampire doesn't get very far because Walter and his radiated lung cancer tastes like shit (canonically, illnesses, substance abuse, etc. can seriously fuck with your taste). They scamper off, not having intended on turning cancer ridden Walter White, and Walter is left... very confused.

His skin is some strange carbon substance that under a microscope looks eeriely close to diamond. He's breaking everything he touches and uh... he ate a guy in a Walmart parking lot.

Walt desperately runs out into the desert and is terrified of going home a) looking like this b) having eaten someone. Something has gone very very very wrong with him and he doesn't think it's the cancer.

Then Walter realizes it doesn't matter.

He's dying anyway and he must provide for his family.

Walt puts on a hazmat suit he stole from a lab (as he now has no fingerprints), which helps with the um people smell that keeps driving him mad, and spends an episode bullying Jesse into helping him fake his death.

(Walter ends up eating another poor person and, not knowing what else to do, they shove the man in Walter's car then light it on fire. Walter White has now died in an awful awful car explosion.)

There's a very sad funeral that Walter attends from the shadows. Gretchen and Elliott show up, Hank gives a eulogy on how Walt was kind of a nerd, Walt hates it so much.

Jesse's asking what the fuck is going on, he's seen lung cancer and that ain't no stage he's ever heard of bitch, and Walter (who doesn't know the answer either) blows him off and tells Jesse he's stupid. They also have a lot of meth to make. Find a new Crazy Eight.

"You killed Crazy Eight," Jesse points out.

Yeah, well, let's get a new one.

So, Jesse regretfully goes to talk to Tuco. This goes poorly. Walt then has to go confront Tuco himself (which is um... bad news...) and ends up eating both Tuco and all of his people.

Walter decides not to tell Jesse this.

"I took care of Tuco" he says instead, having rescued their meth (and cash from Tuco's safe).

Jesse's impressed and a little disturbed, he has no idea how to answer this.

(Hank, meanwhile, thinks drug lords have reached a new low. Someone set their pet dog/bear/something on Tuco Salamanca and ate his entire face. Just. Wow. What a way to go. Hank is celebratory but even he's grossed out by this one.)

Well, Jesse and Walt (now always in a hazmat suit, by the way) are back to square one. They have a whole lotta meth and no one to sell it to.

Walt, slowly getting over his existential horror of being a cannibal, suggests that they sell it on the street. Jesse points out that's mad, the gangs control distribution, if they try to get in on that, massively, they are fucked.

"I can take care of it," Walter promises, having at this point tested out his new, invulnerable, ridiculously strong body.

Walter is easily able to steal them more and better supplies (moving faster than cameras can trace, leaving no prints, etc. And takes out anyone who even thinks at looking at Badger or whoever funny.

(Hank, meanwhile, is seeing a pattern of someone setting their bear loose on every one of Salamanca's men. They've got a gang war going on. Fuck.)

Gus is also noticing and keeps Gale well off the street and asks Mike to look into this.

Mike finds himself very confused. These are low level punks, local kids who dropped out of school and destroyed their lives with meth, but they're not gangsters. They clearly have no idea what they're doing and no muscle.

So who keeps killing everybody?

Unfortunately for Walter, the Volturi are also starting to take notice, as this is a lot of people dead in Albuquerque from rogue cocaine bears. Oddly focused on the human drug trade, but the signs are unmistakable. Aro sends Demetri and Felix off to deal with it.

Sure enough, they catch Walter's scent and ah...

The show's suddenly over when two cosplayers take Walter (in his hazmat suit) out in an alley.

[p1err0st4r]

☆ | author's note : this song is driving me fucking nuts. I am absolutely hypnotized by this song. But guess what ? They made me think of a fic. Might be more chapters if im not lazy enough. :33

★ | warnings : MINORS DNI ; human!alastor ; f!reader ; body deformations ; a freak show ; mentions of sex ; mentions of sexually exploiting a minor; swearing.

❝ Treasured stage light. ❞ . chapter 1

Lights , confetti , chants and applause.

Was something you dreamed of yet never saw.

Some might have thought you were arrogant , a narcissist and a rat , who merely uses her actors so she'd contrast their stupidity and ugliness to be the highlight. The main act of the show !

They wouldn't be wrong , but , there would be so much more than that to it.

You slowly turned on the radio in your humble tent as you sat down in the bed. Gaze focused on your hand as you scrolled up enough for the signal to be sufficient and hearable.

❝ You have me right here , you know , babes? ❞

Though that attention didn't always work in your favor.

❝ You better get iut of here fast , you lowlife. ❞

You got up from the bed and shoved your leg in between the mans legs , pressing hard enough to gain a painful growl from him.

❝ jesus.. fine. You fiesty bitch.❞

You watched him leave. Finally some time to yourself.

Being an owner of a freak show , in nearly perfect condition made you a star , no doubt. But with the popularity come the fans , and with the fans come the simpy men you had to fuck because you still wanted to find someone special... someone you'd love.

But you wouldn't unless they were a star and unless they shared your animalisticly wild ambition.

As you listened to the radio every evening you wondered who is the man behind your favorite show... probably someone popular , you thought. Maybe.. just maybe someday you'd get your hands on the man.

In your dreams of course.

With a playful sway of your hips you stepped to your mirror and tried in one of your hats with a smile.

❝ oh i'll be a legend !! ❞

You exclaimed... a sudden giggle coming from the direction of your bed.

❝ who's there ?❞

You asked, stepping closer before a sudden tight grip flipped you over to face the "culprit". Oh it was just your little assistant !

Dominic was your first ever "collectible" though... you cherished him the most. Being only 13 years old he was a highly intellegent and was from a wealthy family. But sadly had a cobblers chest. At first his parents were just sceptical of it but when they realized he wasn't sexually appealing to women they just decided to sell him off like a slave.

But luckily , he went into your hands. Not someone elses.

You placed a hand on his head as you both laughed in unison.

❝ oh Dominic.. you always manage to excite me.❞

The boy basicslly jumped away from you before clearing his throat. What was all the excitment about ? You thought it was about one of his "inventions" again... of these silly children.

❝ Miss Y/N. Some mysterious man came to the main tent ! He says that he wants to interview you for his show! ❞

And now that. It caught you completely off-guard. Was your show great enough to finslly hit the news papers ? Anything at least..? Whole radio programs ?!?!

Oh this is what you call success.

❝ Ah... how great ! Now come , shoo , tell him i will be there in a few. ❞

You needed to make the best first impression ever in your life, so you took your sweet fucking time picking out a dress and getting all dolled up. Anything to look perfect.

You confidently walked to the place where everyone was gathered, eyes closed out of excitment, and as you stepped inside the formed arch surrounding the man in question your eyelids fluttered open and were met with an sbsolute wonder of a man.

Dark hair , tan skin , a great build.. oh you could just rip him apart and eat him.

❝ Salutations ! Miss Y/N i presume? ❞

You weakly hid your suprise , yet still kept your ground and spoke with confidence.

❝ Yes.. and you must be-❞

You got interrupted by a sudden strong handshake and a quick pull.

❝ Alastor ! Great to make buisness with you. I was on one of your shows and i couldn't help but wonder , what a star ! ❞

Your mind went blank.

"star"

And that familliar voice.

Oh no , probably just a coincidence.

❝ oh im truly flattered. But i hope you're here to bring up buisness.❞

❝ oh yes indeedy ! It is the msot important part , is it not ? I want to know the formuls to your success ! Or rather just... could you answer a few questions? ❞

You couldn't help yourself.

You led him to your private tent.

❝ anything for the gentleman you are !❞

As you lit up a cigarette you offered him one.

❝ Oh no thank you , miss. I don't smoke.❞

❝ hm ? A shame , truly. ❞

You sat in akward silence for a good 5 minutes and all that time you couldn't help but stare at the beatiful man. They were his eyes moved , his hands neatly folded in his lap , the way his leg swayed over the other.

❝ enjoying the view , miss Y/N ? Never thought it would be your habit to stare... ❞

Alastor slowly placed a sheet of paper with 28 questions on it.

❝ i will return to you in around.. 3 days. And i'll be counting on you giving me the answers to all of these. Detailed.❞

❝ ough , so demanding !❞

❝ might be true , but it is better for both of us , is it not ? ❞

You nodded. Of course it was !

This precious man was going to fall under your spell.

He slowly stood up and walked to the exit of your tent.

❝ i hope i'll see you again , miss Y/N.❞

[helpfandom]

ELLO ITS ME @yandere-plague

OK so like I've had this idea for a story for so long and-

Okay so handsome dad is your dad and Nisha is your mom.

BUT Nisha, realising she's pregnant she ditches you somewhere on Pandora.

Another BUT some people from Lynchwood take you in.

So you grow up in Lynchwood and for plot reasons Nisha recognises you. She doesn't kill you but you know she hates you (you have no idea who your parents are)

Randomly you wake up on Helios. Then the fucking hyperion ceo walks in with some doctor and there're like. "Yup they are your kid"

You and Jack just stare at eachother in shock (and horror)

You are obviously scared shitless because you know he will throw you out of an airlock if you do so much as breathe wrong.

But then surprisingly he acts like such a nice dad to you even though you are literally having a panic attack just seeing him in person.

Idk if you want to write for this or something but 🤷‍♀️

I'm so happy I spent like 3 minutes stimming and jumping because it's you! I love your writing, and to have one of my favourite people ask me, ME? for something?

Fun Fact! My longest post in Borderlands is Zane Flynt. Something I wrote as a tribute. To YOU [with 1,049 words] Anyway-

Ask, and ye shall receive.

TW: for Handsome Jack shenanigans, mentions of S3X, Handsome Jack, Perhaps a OOC Nisha, because I didn't play Nisha in Presequel, nor did I know she was in BL2. Allusions to abortion or miscarriage.

It had been a great night between the two that, to be quite honest, they both enjoyed, but unfortunately, Jack happened to have gotten her pregnant.

She was quite disappointed, especially since she got herself roped into giving birth to you rather than trying other methods. So, she gave birth, and then promptly left you in the middle of the road, hoping perhaps a skag wouldn't go hungry that night, or maybe someone who could actually care for you would show up before the animals arrived.

And with that out of the way, onto the real headcanons.

There had been some rumblings of a bandit finding something of importance, something that could help, something they could train. Perhaps it was a new animal for Nisha to hunt, or maybe- She pauses, looking at you, you who had tears in your eyes, clearly scared out of your mind, and yet she still couldn't muster up enough sympathy to care for you. Not when she tried to get rid of you.

So you spend most of your life being trained by psychos and bandits and always wondering why Nisha hated you, why she would glare at you every time you dared to be around her, even with all that you put into being the best there is, the best in Lynchwood, maybe even the best shooter that you could possibly be, and yet the only reaction she will ever have to you is just anger, and disdain.

As you get older, you begin to notice that the worst tasks, the deadliest tasks are sent to you first. Is this because she wants to test you, or because she wants to kill you? You can see in her face the hatred she has at you coming back that it clearly wasn't to test you.

At some point in your teenager years, you begin to stop caring about what she wants from you, what you think she desires from you in order to be seen as something more.

And eventually, she just sells you off to Handsome Jack in order to have him postpone his attack on Lynchwood ever so slightly by giving up the best bandit they have.

So as you sit in a car, wondering where Nisha is sending you off when you arrive at a place with the name Hyperion? Does Nisha want you to take them down from the inside, perhaps?

And yet as you're escorted to a room with a doctor and someone- IS THAT THE REAL HANDSOME JACK? The doctor mumbles something to THE REAL HANDSOME JACK-HOLYSHITHOLYSHIT AM I GOING TO DIE HERE? He turns and faces you, looking at you head on, and then walking towards you with open arms, clearly he must mean to attack, right? He HUGS you?

All the while Nisha hates that she misses you, hates the fact that she kind of liked you? Even though you're a reminder of all that she hates in life, she likes the fact that you tried so hard.

Handsome Jack doesn't care about you at first, only thinking of how this could make him look better or how to use this against his Exes. He could gloat to Moxxi how he can take better care of his child[ren] or how much better it is with him to Nisha. All in all, he doesn't truly care about you till later.

As he notices that you flinch at every little thing, he finds it annoying, he wouldn't hit you unless you need it, and you're his kid, so why do you expect him to hurt you?

That's when he realizes that you don't know about Jack nor Nisha being your parent, so all that you've seen is the one person you look up to hate you, and his own reputation coming back to bite him in the ass.

So he drops the ball onto you.

Of course, this is such a surprising revelation that makes everything make sense, but you can't believe it, after all, would you really go as far as trying to kill your own child?

Yes. They both would.

Besides the fact, you then spend most of your days following the revelation staying alone, processing all that happened, becoming your own kind of therapist in a sense.

And because Jack wants to use you just as Nisha did, he drags you out, slowly becoming attached to you, because who wouldn't become attached to a hobby?

Needless to say, they both intend to use you for what they can, then drop you, but end up becoming attached to you.

[switchcase]

"There is nothing inherently wrong with talking about these things, but there is a way that western society currently engages with trauma that is extremely Freudian and rather useless to everyone involved."

I'm very curious about this - please could you explain more?

Freudian psychology is, basically, this idea that if anything is currently maladaptive with your behavior or way of thinking, then it stems from some adverse childhood experience. The term "anal retentive" actually comes from this--Freud theorized that if you were obsessed with order and control then something bad must have happened during the psychosexual period of development focused on your anus that caused you to be like that in adulthood, whether you remembered it or not or whether you felt it was true or not.

Current western culture is very into this idea that anything currently wrong with you must be because of your past and it must have been something traumatic that happened. It frames the human experience as this very stagnant, inert thing that you are simply saddled with rather than something you have any semblance of control over. It devalues positive and negative experiences both by pretending that only trauma could possibly influence your behavior, when every single experience and interaction you have affects you.

Combined with western individualism and it becomes not a discussion of trauma, how to support each other as a community and as people, how to address traumatic events, but instead a fixation on what makes ME different and why I act the way I do and why it is completely ok for ME to behave that way regardless of how I affect others. It is not about actually unpacking experiences, not about healing, but only labelling them because now that is your identity. Add in this idea of the self as a brand, the self as a commodity, the self as an image to sell, and you get trauma as its own brand. This is how you get articles about the president gaslighting the nation, how you get people selling crystals for $300 to heal your inner child, people on Etsy selling DBT worksheets you could have gotten for free, how you get data tracking mental health apps that report your depression to your boss, how you get therapy speak and accusations of abuse if a friend group breaks up, how you get people who decide that anything unpleasant that happened to them was clearly traumatic rather than simply unpleasant because if it's NOT traumatic why would it affect them so much? It becomes competition--in a capitalist society wherein everything you are is a weapon against everyone else, why wouldn't it be a competition for who has it worse, better, whose story is most unique, how else can it be monetized? This is how you get abuse terminology watered down, weaponized, thrown out for shock value and social gain.

None of this is how you actually work on anything, though. The BIGGEST thing that prevents someone from developing long term maladaptive behaviors after experiencing trauma is a support system. But in the midst of all this talk on trauma in the west, because it is all so individualistic and self-serving, everyone is still so achingly alone. This fixation on trauma is not actually preventing other people from being traumatized on a wide scale. It is not helping people who are already traumatized. Talking is a great help, awareness of these things is so essential to preventing more hurt, but this is not what is happening on a wide scale amongst every day people. Because on a wide scale westerners have not formed an actual community, have not formed any community safety nets, do not point each other to community resources.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

Why hello,Hera here. I saw your Carmilla ramble and just wanted to say that I 100% agree. However,I feel like she makes sense somehow? Let me explain! We clearly see her as this respectable (yes,Velvette stay put) fairly modest woman, but I surmise that's a clear “don't judge a book by it’s cover” type of thing. And..yes,I would put photos but I cannot do that in anon...anyway.

Let's look at her. She is PERFECTLY portrayed as a hypocrite. Yes. Obviously there were some..character writing issues to say the least but she IS a hypocrite. Not just because she sells weapons; what does a hypocrite do? Say stuff and do otherwise, to their own advantage. She does everything she does to save her daughters and herself, saying to not cause war but outright attacking Vaggie AS SHE SET FOOT inside her chambers. She couldn't care less about other sinners,and that's WHY she sells weapons. She's a bad person, she sells guns to make other sinners outright attack eachother. Why? To bring more Sales of course. If you know you're in danger then..let's just say, wouldn't you sell your soul for some security? People have sold them for far less after all.

Secondly, notice how she's outright manipulating Vaggie,maybe Zestial even? She does absolutely NOT care about them. The only thing she has ever done for Zestial for all I remember in the show was stop Velvette from causing problems during the meeting,and when she felt like she was losing control over it — as someone manipulative would do — she shuts her down sending her away. She understood she f-cked up and TO NOT RUIN HER FACADE she literally admitted everything just to keep the strings stretched thin. And that's the thing about the final stretch: It can keep stretching for however long she wishes it to. After keeping it from people you must either speak up about it or let the situation fall into the hands of fate which isn't really reccomended when you're trying to guilt-trip someone with a heart wrenching Song,no?

ABOUT SONGS CAN WE PLEASE SPEAK ABOUT OUT FOR LOVE? that song is absolutely screaming: “I didn't tell you this for my own advantage but I'm trying to distract you by telling you to fight for who you love yes whoo totally cohesive with what the main trope is!”.

Last and probably least, we take english as the official and outmost canon language in which the show is written. However, in certain translations DURING the overlord meeting — more specifically while velvette sang respectless — she said “I warn you that sooner or later you will pay for it, If it were up to me I would kick you out of here!”. Now, I know this is probably to actually make it rhyme but IT'S NOT JUST THAT. Because if we take a little more objective view we understand that she is exactly the type to be so aggressive. She sells weapons,attacks Vaggie, Stays behind closed doors when she could've HELPED her, and look at what information she actively chose to withold versus what she said up until out for love? . Think about it,She cares for herself and for her daughters..which brings me up to the first point.

Now, you're probably right and she's Just badly written but THERE'S STILL HOPE! I hope-

Ah you are certainly onto something. I also noticed that she basically confirmed Velvette's words by shutting down the meeting just to not ay it directly. Like, it was a terrible choice. She's obviously not as strong and wise as she poses if one (1) loud lady was able to disarm her so quickly. She's as short tempered as Vox or Val considering that Vaggie she attacked for no reason. I honestly agree with everything that you've written because it makes sense. I'm sure her being just a hypocrite wouldn't bother me that much if it wasn't for the way the show frames her. I can't really describe it I feel like it insists, I should see her in a positive light. That's not the case with any other Overlord. Even Rosie is explicitly shown to be profit-driven and manipulative (don't get me wrong, I would die for this woman but she basically told Charlie "here's how you can convince my people to die for your cause without telling them that they will probably die"). But Carmilla is just fierce, protective, supportive and reasonable. Dunno, I hope they will fix her somehow in season 2 since she's probably not going anywhere.

[soccerpunching]

It must be so awkward for senguuji to have seen kidou yuuto's first confrontation with ishido shuuji compared to the second one. Bcs the first one would be kidou asking and screaming about what the fuck is gouenji doing and what the fuckboy is he wearing, while the second one is a few weeks after that with kidou having more composure to him and with more businessman-like manners where he sells himself to the fifth sector cause.

Senguuji will probably be surprised about Ishido's decision to keep Kidou "on their side" and obviously is very suspicious about that. I just think in this scenario that senguuji would not give his full trust in ishido like he did in canon unless gouenji told him at this point that kidou was planning/building a resistance and that his reason for his decision was to give them "more chances to spy on them" by planting a lot of SEEDs in the team.

That was why i think gouenji's plan in switching teikoku and aoba around was so smart... because as we know from s1's football frontier, the winner and their opponent in the kanto region both goes to the championship regardless of who won and lost in that regional finals. If Teikoku was the team who fought raimon for that, the SEEDs would not leave the team bcs they may still face raimon in the nationals. But bcs theyre no longer part of the competition, Kaiou was the one participating and Teikoku is free so the SEEDs there would no longer have a purpose. Which then also gave kidou the leeway to join raimon (not that there was a way for them to stop him at that point).

It wasnt directly stated but he prob told senguuji that the purpose of that switch itself was not just to make sure they defeat raimon but was also a test of kidou's loyalty to fifth sector which fr is the best excuse for him to use. And i dont need to say it but i like how every move gouenji made as ishido is just so reliant on how much is he thinking about how endou, kidou, and the others are thinking and would react if something like that happens.

I know gouenji intentionally made it so that ishido's appearance and name is both different but similar to "gouenji shuuya" because he knows this would call his friends' attention but wouldn't call the attention of his fans or the press in that way. I know, the creators did that as a hint to the audience but... some decisions are made with purposes for the viewers and canon and i think this is one of those.

I admit that the 1st and 2nd paragraphs are just prob in my head but the ones after those literally happened in canon that gouenji did not get credit for. i have one good thing to say abt gouenji and it's that when he actually puts his mind to it, he can just keep doing shit under everybody's noses and gets away with it but he never intentionally uses it for anything rewarding to him ever. Theres a lot wrong with him and i am so invested in every single one.

[wegonbealright-09]

What's wrong with jungkook

Omg. Jk has been giving me mixed signals eversince he released seven. It's like there's a spark but the wires are not connecting cause wtf. Okay so before jimin got number one on the BB I bet nobody ever dreamt of it or even thought it was possible even jimin himself he never aimed for the billboard he just wanted to release music but it just happened to happen that every song he released this year charts on the BB. Like how am I going to say this... I just don't know what's wrong with him lately he's like a rookie that just got fame and now is letting it change him. Like I know there's no problem whatsoever when a person wants to chart on the BB I mean that's ever artist's dream but...

Like what do you mean by that. Jk already know that, that position is already secured scooter already payed the money we know. But why the sudden obsess with no1 if jimin hadn't got that no1 I bet he wouldn't even be thinking about it. But I've always knew he's been competitive and he's said numerous times he wants to be recognised more and stuff so what scooter and bang pd did they didn't manipulate him nor threaten him he wants this, all this payola and fraud. I'm disappointed in him actually cause why would he actually shit ok everything that BTS stood for, for years making music the honest way. What's he hoping to gain from this? Because armies might be blind but the world isn't. Like what is wrong with him.

The members have been acting fishy during the second chapter. If it's not Tae distancing himself from the group it's RM and acting bitter sometimes and well yoongi then now jk who's suddenly became chart obsessed it's like he tryna be the Beyonce of the group or something. I literally don't want to hate him but lowrdddd he's pushing me lowrdddd. It's like he tryna prove he's the golden goose and no-one can outdo him. I don't know what's he hoping to gain from this really because news flash this ain't gonna gain him new fans or something. BTS have always been used as scapegoats and belittled for way too long after proving themselves over and over again to the west and to Asia that honest artists to exits, that in order to achieve you must be passionatee

BTS has always preached about how making music is more that just making musing and selling music it's about passion, the message and all but wtf is this...

I swear I'm not slandering him nor being a hater jk is/ was my second fav after jimin and I'm a jikooker and I love them both but I tend to lean to jimin's side more because he's the owner of the magic shop. The reason why I'm into BTS today.

Anyways BTS has never urged us to vote for them, stream for them, buy their music all they've asked from us is to enjoy their music. But someone doesn't think so...

Yoongi and JK are the members that have been pushed the most so far. I mean a Tour really when's he going to military? Then jk and his payola and fraud I'm disgusted atp. It's like he wants to blow up so bad, like dude you're already famous what more do you want, or he knows he wouldn't have achieved what he did with seven without all that push which is why he's welcoming the payola with open hands and happy about it.

Mhhhh... Idk I don't want to sound like a hater but jk is annoying me rn so so much I don't want to end up hating him because hey it's not that deep but honestly how would you feel if you were called to the table to eat fancy food with utensils while your brothers eat crumbs on the floor but then hey

I don't want to sound like a hater because I think I'm starting to sound like one. This is the last time I'm talking about this I'm unfollowing anything related to him because I don't want to be toxic and know what's going to happen forward is going to shatters that little love I have left from him so I'm unfollowing everything related to him I don't want to see his face nor hear his name till jimin releases something.

Anyways congratulations to Tae on his new ambassadorial deal as the new brand ambassador for Cartier. And Kths had the nerve to involve jimin in their celebration like have your little celebration but know your boundaries Tiffany is bigger than Celine and Cartier combined. Does anyone know the difference between a Global House ambassador and a Brand Ambassador

I'm eating noodles for the whole semester I'm saving for pjm2 and possibly a concert from jimin even a one day concert would be enough :⁠,⁠-⁠)

[dribs-and-drabbles]

Dead Friend Forever ep 11

The problem with catching up with the show is that having to wait a week between eps means I forget what happened. I had to read through my notes from ep 10 to refresh my memory. But I'm ready now! Let's see who White really is!

Seriously, these opening credits are brilliant. The music with the shots and how it switches in rhythm... It really sets the tone and could honestly go on longer.

Anyway...

Oooo the recap reminds me that I haven’t really speculated about Fluke but I wonder if we'll find out that he was the one to post the video of Non and Khun Keng... Or if not, I feel like there is something he did do that we don't know about yet and I REALLY WANT TO KNOW.

Wow Tee is actually making me like him.

I feel like this scene between Non and Tee removes the need for a future Non to persecute Tee within the group in the house...unless Non's getting revenge on the rest of them, because it seems like the truth between Non and Tee is already out, Tee has already faced Non and accepted his own guilt. Something's just not adding up.

Ooooo Tee finds out that Non has a brother 👀

"When you pay off your debt you can go home" oh oh god what if Tee wishes this could apply to him?! What if he's paying off the debt of his parents and can't go home? What if he's jealous of Non for having a home to be able to go back to despite that home not being a loving one?

Oh Tee's white shirt and Non's dark...

And then Perth's character tells Tee he should be grateful and that he's privileged being there...

We don't know how Tee's uncle died yet...what if Tee had a hand in it? And maybe with Non's help? -> maybe too far-fetched...?

God I'm loving Tee more and more...I just don't see how we get to the future events unless HE'S the one 'acting' to get the others to own up to their guilt... Ahhhhhhhhh

Oh so Tee's dad IS alive...oh oh no, so Tee has to bear the responsibility of looking after him. Being 'friends' with Por (and Jin to some respect) must be so hard, so see him live in such wealth and be given everything by his parents. Ooof.

Ok, loving this conversation in the cafeteria...although they should be speaking A LOT quieter...confirmation that what Keng did was wrong, Por admitting he's to blame but that they all are, Fluke's 'love can destroy one's life' before we get to see Tee and White get together 👀, and fucking Top's face which I want to punch because IT ALL STARTED WITH HIM. Oh and I want to slap Por's mum for her comment on how Non was raised.

IF Non IS dead...it's probably because of internal injuries sustained by the beating he got...so it's the uncle's fault entirely...and he probably wouldn't have been able to sell the organs anyway because they would have been damaged/compromised. But that's all IF Non IS dead. Which I'm hoping he's not. But IF he's not I feel like it would take a lot for Non to build himself back up to take revenge on the group.

We STILL don't really know who White is, it's like he's there just so Tee can have one more shitty thing happening to him -> losing White. But that doesn't feel satisfying for an audience because we already know of Tee's guilt... So WHAT is this whole revenge plot for? Is it still for Tan and Phee? If it is then, WHO is the other person (because I still believe there IS someone else there...)? Ahhhhhhh

Awww I wish I could read the post-it notes on the board

How is Tan/New smoking and everyone else is passing out but him? Is it the antidote which doesn't affect him because he's not been hallucinating? And then afterwards he smokes the tainted one to then drug all the others into hallucinating again next week?

Ooof. So next week everyone is confronts their fears as they hallucinate...and I have NO IDEA how it will all wrap up and end. And I LOVE IT! I love that the doors are all open for someone random to be the 'nineth' person, or for Non to still be alive, (or for Por to 'wake up'), or for them all to kill each other whilst drugged, or for Tan/New to kill them all, or or or... But what I AM concerned about is how the show will do it all in one last episode. 😬