#because there's this big thing I haven't or can't express that I'm always carrying

[nerdgirlnarrates]

I think part of the difficulty of sharing certain experiences in healthcare with non-healthcare loved ones is that I'm simultaneously telling a story and teaching physiology or pharmacology or what have you. It's not that I resent this at all, it's just difficult to allow myself to fully experience and express my feelings while also keeping track of what I need to explain. I feel that I often do a bad job translating, and I leave some sentiments lost between us.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Seven Days to Fall Again | Friday | Jeon Jungkook

Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary:Caught in the rain, trying to get to you. You tried to go out to clear your head but he wants to make sure you know he's always looking out for you. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 4.3k (longest chapter so far lol) Warnings: Smut (too lazy to add specifics lol), Explicit language that's it lol a/n: Hey guys so uh...got a little carried away with this one but I said this a little while ago but Friday really didn't have much of a plot in the mv so I kinda just went with whatever felt right. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think! p.s. barely edited and written in one sitting but I figured I might as well post it lol Start from the beginning

I'm going out tonight, nothing major or anything I just wanted to go out so I can get him off my mind even if it's only for a few hours.

Walking into the restaurant I'm greeted with a big group of my colleagues and I slide in next to one of the girls while I greet everyone. A couple of minutes later we all settle back into our own separate conversations with one of the many not so comfortable ones about to start. 

"You look like shit" Kayla whispers to me. She's my best friend so I'm used to her being this honest but it still comes as a surprise sometimes. "Thanks Kay" I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her before taking a sip of water. 

"No but for real what's wrong? You've been ignoring me for the past few days and then suddenly you're inviting everyone out like nothings happened?" she questions, knowing that something's up. "What's wrong with inviting people out? I'm sorry I haven't been answering you, I've have a busy couple of days" I say, not necessarily lying but knowing that I had the time to respond to her if I wanted to. 

I decided to just take what I had hoped for was a step back for a second to just do me but then I ended up dealing with Jungkook chasing me around instead so everything else just seemed like it was too much. "Whatever" Kayla says taking a sip of her beer, knowing I'm lying but deciding not to push it. If it were just the two of us I know she would shake me until I spit it out but she knows better than to do that in front of everyone. 

"So y/n, how are things going? We thought that Jungkook would've come with you" one of the girls at the other end of the table says with her boyfriend right next to her nodding in agreement. "Oh he had to work late" I say giving a simple excuse hoping they'll drop it and luckily they do. Before we're able to move on though my eyes widen in horror as I see the devil himself walking into the restaurant and look around until he spots me, giving me a soft smile with an unreadable expression. 

"Hey guys" Jungkook says awkwardly but comes up to sit next to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek to make things seem normal, being able to tell from my body language alone that I haven't told anyone about the breakup yet. 

"Hi Noona" he whispers in my ear making me shiver. I scold myself for letting my body betray me but I can't really do much to change it anymore. I pull away from him and take another drink of water trying to cover up things but I can tell from the slight smile on his face he know he's still got a hold on me. 

"Oh Jungkook! Y/n was just saying how you couldn't come because you were working late" the same girl asks, curious for an explanation. I know she means well but this girl just doesn't know when to quit. "Oh I wanted to surprise her" he says draping his arm around the back of my chair. It's luckily an answer that satisfies all of them and the conversation switches to another topic soon after. 

"What are you doing here?" I turn and whisper to him, making sure the people around us definitely won't hear. "I went by the apartment and I saw that you weren't there and I got worried. You still share your location with me so I wanted to come and make sure you were okay" he says placing his hand on my thigh as a way to show his sincerity and also play the part of still being a happy couple. 

"Well as you can see I'm fine so you can leave now" I say and pull back giving him a pointed look but before he can respond another person from the group speaks up. "What are you two love birds talking about over there?" one of the guys teases. "Wouldn't you like to know" Jungkook says with a smug smile taking the burden of having to come up with an excuse off of me.

"How have things been with you guys though? It's been a while since either of you have been out with us?" another girl asks. When did tonight become a ask y/n and Jungkook 20 questions? Why can't we just drink and eat and talk about anything but us, even though there's not really an 'us' right now. 

"Things have been good, yeah we're- oh look the food is here!" I start but I'm thankfully given an excuse to turn the topic to something else as the waiters place all of the various side dishes in front of us as well as the raw meat to grill with everyone's minds are now focused on getting everything ready to eat. 

Jungkook gets a piece of meat off the grill and adds it to his ssam and I go to do the same but as soon as I'm putting the finishing touches on mine Jungkook holds his out and offers it to me. "Open" he says, urging me to let him feed me and I give him a dead pan expression, annoyed that he would even go this far. 

I look around the table and see the others taking little glances at us and commenting on how cute we are and so I turn my eyes back over to him and open my mouth for him to put in and he does so happily, watching attentively and making sure I don't choke on anything. 

Once I've chewed a bit I continue filling the one I was working on and instead overfill it and hold it out for Jungkook to eat. He looks down at it, intimidated by the size but once I cock a brow at him he opens his mouth receiving it and the next second I shove it into his mouth, leaving him coughing and struggling to get it down. 

"Is he okay?" one of the guys asks me. "Oh yeah he's fine don't worry about it. Aren't you honey?" I say, daring him to say otherwise and he simply holds up an 'okay' sign with his hand as he coughs and tries his best to chew and swallow everything down which annoyingly he's able to do. 

"How did that taste love?" I whisper to him with a sickeningly sweet smile, payback for him showing up here even though he knew I wouldn't want him here. "Was that really necessary?" he questions after taking a few gulps of water. "Was you coming here really necessary? I told you to leave me alone" I whisper to him and at this point I sound like a broken record. 

"I want to talk to you though" he responds doing just the same. "And until you let me I'm just gonna keep showing up and bothering you until you give me a chance to do so" he says, finally admitting to his nonsense tactic to getting his way, clearly making his younger age show. I stand up abruptly, and decide that I have given up on keeping up appearances and make moves to leave. 

"Sorry guys I'm not feeling well so I think I'm gonna get going" I say and open my purse and hand Kayla twenty dollars to cover my part of the bill. "You okay?" she asks and I say yes but she can clearly see that I'm not. "I'll be fine guys don't worry I'm just gonna head home and get some rest" I say and when I start to walk away Jungkook follows after also following suit to give Kayla more than enough to cover for us. 

"You can stay here and have fun with them" I says sweetly, putting up an act for them but using it as a threat to him. "No it's okay Jungkook go help take care of her we'll see you guys next time" one of them says but before I'm able to disagree Jungkook jumps in. "Thanks for everything guys" he responds before ushering the both of us towards the exit. 

Before we step outside the door though we finally notice it's started to rain, and not just rain but a full on downpour. "When did it start raining?" I ask looking at the world outside as it looks a though it had been raining for ages already. "It looked kind of cloudy when I came in but it wasn't raining yet" he says, just as shocked by the sight. 

"Lemme call us a cab" he says and pulls out his phone to do so. "No I can get one myself" I say and take a deep breath before walking out, no rain jacket, no umbrella, nothing. I just need to get away from here and away from him as soon as possible. "Y/n where are you going?" he says and runs after me and before I'm even able to try and hail a cab I can clearly see that there are none in sight. 

"Just come back inside and we can wait for one and if you want we can even take separate cabs" he offers trying to meet me halfway. "No, I don't need your help" I say and blindly start walking away, hoping he will just go back inside and leave me alone "Noona wait it's too dangerous!" he calls after me but I don't even bother looking back. 

"You know you're going the wrong way right?" he yells, hoping to get me to turn around and let him help me. "I don't care" I yell back and start walking faster. "Where are you going?" he yells, making sure to still stay close. "Away from you" I say and keep going on my journey to no where. 

"Just let me help you get home okay, please" he begs but I don't budge, I'm gonna keep walking until he gets tired and finally leaves me alone. "You know I'm not letting you walk these streets all by yourself right? As long as you're out here I'm staying with you" he say, seeing right through me but I keep walking anyway.

~~~~~~ 

I keep walking and walking until we've come to that same bookshop I had been in just yesterday, finally taking notice of just how far I've walked. I finally stop and catch my breath for a second, trying to figure out what the hell kind of point I'm trying to prove here but I can't come up with one that is big enough to do something ridiculous like this. 

He catches up to me a few seconds later and just stands beside me, not trying to get closer and not bothering to say anything since he knows it would probably just make me even more angry. 

We stand there for a second and I look up at the sky, taking a deep breath before looking back over at him where he's just standing there and looking at the wet ground around me, not making eye contact with me either, just making sure that I know that he's going to be right here standing next to me no matter what I say. 

I take another deep breath and swallow my pride before holding my hand out for him to take. He shifts his weight away from me and just stares at it for a second, trying to figure out what caused a change in heart that I would not only stop but ask for him to grab my hand. 

"So you gonna take it or not?" I ask getting irritated that he's taking too long to make up his mind and at that he reaches his hand out quickly and places it in mine before looking back up at me with a questioning gaze. Instead of responding I just tug on his hand and turn us both around to walk back the way we just came and start heading back home.

~~~~ 

Once we get to the door I immediately grab my keys and open up, letting the both of us inside. "Fuck I'm freezing" I say taking off my shoes and stripping off my sweater, forgetting the tiny tank top I'm wearing without a bra and I don't even notice until I turn back around and see that he's staring at my chest, nipples cold and hard and when he he notices I'm staring at him he looks up at me with an intensity I haven't seen in a while. 

I look at him, drinking in his figure as well seeing how soaked his white t-shirt is and how his pants are clinging to his thighs. I gulp and look back up at his face where his eyes have gotten even darker from observing how I was checking him out as well. 

He takes a few steps towards me and I stumble back against a wall and am forced to watch as he takes a few steps closer until he's looking right down at me. He takes his hand and reaches for the one he had been holding before and then brings it up to his lips giving it a kiss. 

"Why did you let me in?" he questions, his voice deeper and a bit strained from breathing in the cold air from the journey here. "I-i don't know" I whisper and my eyes flick down to his lips unconsciously and he takes that as a sign to keep going. 

He places his other hand on my cheek and I flinch a bit at how cold it is but lean into it a few seconds later, welcoming the fluttering feeling it stirs my my stomach. He leans down and rests his forehead against mine causing me to close my eyes, feeling like I'm burning under his intense gaze. 

"What are you doing to me?" he whispers and all I can do is try not to whimper in response. He tilts my chin up and brings his face closer and rubs his nose up against mine making me feel breathless at the slightest sign of intimacy no matter how small and I find myself unconsciously wrapping my arms around his neck. He in turn leans in and closes the distance between us, kissing me softly but still coaxing a whimper out of me, missing the feeling off being wanted by him. 

He moulds his lips against mine and brushes his tongue along my bottom lip and I open my mouth at the feeling, letting him use his tongue to explore my mouth, making butterflies fly in my stomach and leaving me moaning softly as I welcome him in. 

I take my hands off of his shoulders and feel for his jacket and start to push it off of him which he obliges and I reach for his shirt and push it up to help him take it off and he parts from my lips only for a second to slip it over his head. I touch his bare skin and even though we were so wet and cold his skin has already started to heat up leaving me not being able to take my hands off of him.

My hands travel up and down his abs and pecks that have both gotten more defined since the last I had seen them and before I'm able to think about it any more he trails his hands down my hips and  continues to trail them down and grabs the inside of my thighs before he breaks apart our lips again telling me to jump and I do immediately, kissing him as he walks us both back to the bedroom. 

Once we get there he helps me out of my tank top and traces his hands along my bare back while pressing me closer into him our chest now flush against each other while it almost feels like he's trying to hold me even closer, not letting go and devouring my mouth until he trails his hands along my curves and fiddles with the button of my pants and waits for me to say something before actually taking them off. 

Still kissing me I part for a second and utter a hurried 'yes' before he's unzipping them and taking everything off leaving me completely bare and I help him get out of the rest of his clothes right after. 

We both fall onto the bed together and never stop kissing and I part my legs for him to lay between. He runs a finger along my slit making me whimper against his lips as he teases my clit and then circles it around my entrance and then slowly slips a finger in making me let out a restrained moan, being sensitive from not having been touched by him for so long. 

"Shit" he says feeling how tight I am just from putting in one finger and working it in and out of me, coaxing me to stretch out for him. "Jungkook" I whimper when he adds another digit and he swears again at how much I'm clenching around them. "Relax baby" he whispers rubbing his thumb against my clit in circles to help me calm down and open up enough so he can slip another finger in. 

"I haven't fucked you properly in a while huh?" he says between kisses, curling his fingers up inside of me making a breathy moan spill past my lips as I squeeze my eyes shut. "I don't know if this tiny cunt can even take me anymore. Do you think it can?" he asks rubbing his nose up against mine while he curls his fingers inside me again.

I nod my head but he's not satisfied, "Words Noona. Do you think this pretty little cunt can take me again?" he pushes and rubs his thumb around my clit again while thrusting his fingers inside of me. "Yes" I moan out and he luckily decides not to tease any longer. 

"That's a good girl" he says before taking his fingers out of me and placing them in his mouth, savoring my taste before he leans down and kisses me again "Almost forgot how sweet you taste" he says and before I'm able to even think about responding he pushes the tip inside making me let out a breathy moan. 

"Fuck I missed this" he says pushing in a bit more, giving me time to adjust before going in further. "Jungkook" I whimper, not being able to focus on anything but the sensation of feeling him bare and going deeper and deeper. "I know baby, I know" he says pushing in more while placing a kiss on my temple before bottoming out. 

"Looks like this pretty cunt is greedy isn't she?" he says while rubbing my clit, helping me get used to him. He rests his forehead against mine and lets labored breaths in and out, relishing in the feeling of my walls clenching around him. I nod my head and he takes it as a sign to move and he pulls out half way before pushing all the way in, setting a more gentle, sensual pace that leaves my brain fogging up with thoughts of only him. 

He pulls out all the way and presses back into me inch by inch, savoring how my walls are sucking him in. "Please, faster" I say, throwing my head back on the pillow, dying from the slow building feeling of my orgasm, wanting to be granted release sooner. "Patience Noona" he taunts and he presses back in but pulls out and gives me a shallow hard thrust leaving my back arching up into him. 

He quickens his pace and starts kissing on my neck, leaving marks in his wake and soon thrusting into me harder while I let out restrained moans. "No Noona let me hear you, I wanna hear you scream my name" he growls and starts thrusting into me at an animalistic pace. "Fuck Jungkook" I moan, starting to get closer to my release.

"What is it pretty?" he says slowing down the pace, leaving me whining at the feeling of my high coming down again. "No" I say throwing my head back into the pillows, hating that he robbed me of it. "No what? I just gave you a chance to tell me what you wanted, I couldn't hear you over all of your moaning" and he punctuates his sentence with a sharp thrust earning him a choked moan coming out of me and feeling me squeeze around him. 

"Does Noona wanna cum?" he taunts, giving me another sharp thrust. "Jungkook please" I beg, pulling him closer to kiss him but he stops before our lips touch. "I don't know what you want me to do unless you tell me" he says, lips brushing against mine but not close enough to kiss. 

"I wanna cum, please" I breathe out and at that I see a mischievous glint flash in his eyes before he kisses me and pounds into me harder than he had before and swallowing all of my moans of pleasure. 

"You close?" he questions after a while, already being able to feel the answer but making me say it nonetheless. "Shit y-yes so close k-keep going" I stutter, about to tip over the edge and seconds later it all comes crashing down, leaving me arching into him and dragging my nails along his back and he groans at the feeling and cums seconds after that, fucking us both through our highs. 

Once he's emptied out he keeps on thrusting until I whine from over stimulation and kisses me while he pulls out, me hating the feeling of being empty again. He lays down on top of me for a second as we both catch our breaths but soon rolls off and lays next to me while we both take a second to slow down our breathing. 

Without a word he sits up and walks over to my side and scoops me up in his arms. "What are you doing?" I ask throwing my arms around his neck. "You need to go to the bathroom and then we need to clean up he says, making decisions for what I need to do before giving me an option like always but I decide not to mention it this time, staying silent and waiting for him to put me down. 

He sets me down on my feet and turns around to turn on the shower and walks out into the hallway to get us both towels, giving me a bit of privacy to do my business before coming back in. When he comes back he opens the shower door for me and lets me walk in, holding on to make sure I don't fall before coming in after me.                         

We both stand there in the shower getting warm under the water as the doors and mirrors get fogged up in turn. 

Neither of us talks for a while until he puts some body wash in his hands and lathers it up before rubbing it onto my back and shoulders, talking his time to wash me from head to toe, cleaning and massaging all of me to make sure to loosen me up so I won't get sore. 

He's does this every time we have sex, or had sex since it's been a while and I welcome it, hating and loving the feeling. Feeling guilty about letting him take care of me like this when all I've done is push him away. 

As he finishes up he takes my shampoo and conditioner and washes my hair as well before rinsing everything off of me and switching places with me gently so he's in the direct stream of water so he can wash himself as well.

While he has his arms up and is scrubbing his scalp I wrap my arms around him from behind and rest my cheek against his back. "This was a mistake" I mumble and at that he freezes before hurrying to rinse the shampoo out of his hair so it doesn't get in either of our eyes. 

"Is that how you truly feel?" he asks, sounding disheartened but knowing that something like this was going to happen if I still wanted to push him away. "Yeah. Well, I don't know" I say, being honest with honestly not knowing how I feel. 

He turns around to face me and looks down while cupping my face in both of his hands. "Do you want me to leave?" he asks, his eyes going back and forth between mine searching my face for answers and finding the one that says I want him to leave and he utters an silent okay before I even have a chance to say anything.

He opens the shower door and closes it behind him, taking one of the towels and drying off his hair quickly before wrapping it around his waist and walking out of the bathroom. I let out a pained sigh and feel a rush of emotions flood my system with senses of doubt in all of my dealings with this.

'Do I want him to go? Do I want him to stay? Do I want to be with him? Do I want to break up?' those as well as many more are the questions that go round and round in my head without answers. 

The thing that breaks me out of that circular train of thought though is the sound of the front door closing behind him as he walks out and the next is the sound of my sobs as I hit the floor, finally let my heart break.  

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The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: I'm seeing Hozier tomorrow wish me safe travel! -Danny Words: 2,230 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Chronically Cautious' -by Braden Bales

XVI: I Hope Ya'll Were Paying Attention, 'Cause I'm Never Doing That Again

From now on, Ara won't think about anything else than taking the seven demigods to the ancient lands. Once there she'll save Nico, and after that... she'll do what she must to make sure her camp gets saved, and maybe break her curse in the process.

Annabeth sits her on the mattress. "I shouldn't have forced you to do three missions in a row—"

Ara groans. "That is the only reason I'm here. And one of the missions was a tea party where Aphrodite complimented my eyeliner." She touches her face in sudden realization. "Oh gods, my eyeliner! Do I look insane?"

Annabeth smiles a little. "The storm and your crying washed it all away—you should get a better brand."

"I like how easy to remove it is," she lies on her back. "And that brand has pretty colors..."

The ship is groaning and swaying from one side to another, but Ara isn't allowed on deck. She had a meltdown and Frank had to carry her to the sickbay, and now she's too weak to do anything.

Ara stepped into the role of daughter of Olympus so sure of herself, and now... Why couldn't all this happen when she had the option to step out? She remembers how harshly she judged Clarisse during the first war, but now she understands that sometimes being impartial is not an option.

When the storm gets more violent, Annabeth is forced to leave the room. "I have to go help..."

Ara says something before Annabeth leaves her cabin. "You don't have to worry about me bailing out after this. I'll help you defeat Gaea if it is the last thing that I do." She stares at the ceiling with a blank expression. "I'm sorry I freaked out, I suck at diplomatic stuff. Lily always took care of that part..."

Annabeth crosses her arms and sighs heavily. "Yeah, that was concerning. You used to hold your front just fine, what happened?"

Ara makes a face. "Aphrodite told me not to be rash and I didn't listen. I wonder why I ignore her when she's trying to help..."

"You always complained about being underestimated," Annabeth shrugs. "Maybe you're doing the same to her."

Ever since the gods stripped her of her Aphrodite identity and dressed her in General attire, Ara has done her best to hide who her godly parent originally was. She acted all offended when Leo didn't believe she was from Cabin Ten, but deep down, she'd been satisfied. The implications of that, of course, are terrible, so Ara decides to ignore it.

"Could you not..." she clears her throat and speaks with more authority. "Don't tell the others, I don't want them to freak out over nothing. Let them have peace before we reach Rome."

"I figured you'd say that," Annabeth sighs. "Fine."

Moving my stuff out of Cabin Ten isn't hard, I haven't kept much in there since I moved to New York. I choose a room on the second floor of the Big House, close to the stairs so I can get out fast in case of an emergency.

Nico takes the room across from mine, and Rachel the one in the middle. We go to Apollo's cabin, and the campers salute me as I enter. Nico and Lily stay outside to start the funeral rituals and I help where I can. I use my empath touch on the mourners until I can't hold more of their grief, I employ my charmspeak so the wounded rest. 

I stand next to Chiron and Mr D and we burn the shrouds, as that comes to an end, I introduce myself as the new head of camp. I promise to be there to help and protect them.

During dinner, Nico sits with me because he doesn't have a table. Tomorrow I'll see that he gets one. Lily will help him design his cabin, they'll leave tomorrow night and Lily will stay a few weeks in the Underworld to help Daedalus, I know she's hoping to catch a glimpse of Mike.

Campers approach our table to congratulate Nico, but they give me nervous glances as they move to me. Some of them, the Cabin Nine and Cabin Ten campers seem happy, although my siblings also look concerned about having Drew as their new counselor. I had to give up the spot for the bigger part, I was never a proper Aphrodite anyway, perhaps this is better.

The Stolls want me to change rules so they can go out on the weekends, but when I tell them that's out of my control, they lose interest in my title.

Most campers are anxious, Drew's spreading rumors about a curse, she says a child of Olympus and peace are mutually exclusive, and having me on camp taunts the fates. She tells everyone it's in my name: The bringer of curses.

The first night though, they're willing to give me a shot. 

I go to bed completely exhausted, so I don't wake up when Rachel walks in and stares at me for Hades knows how long. I wake and jump out of my skin when I notice the girl at the foot of my bed. I reach for Almighty but then notice the bushy hair and the large T-shirt. 

"Rachel?" I speak hoarsely.

Her eyes snap open and illuminate the room with their green light.

"When the dove touches the smith

Almighty raises her myth

And the curse of love releases

By tearing earth into pieces."

Rachel stumbles forward and holds onto the bedframe.

"W-Wha..." she blinks, her eyes going back to normal. "Where am I?"

I gulp. "My room."

She looks at me. "How did I get here?" Understanding falls on her features. "Did I just..?"

"Go to bed, Rachel," I get up.

"What did I say?"

I guide her out of my room and back to hers. She sits on the bed and I hand her the glass of water she had on the nightstand. "Can you please keep this a secret?"

Rachel frowns. "Why? What did I say?"

"Something that has to do with me, and only me."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, the oracle took you to my room, so if I had to guess..."

"But what did I say?" She insists.

"I'll figure it out, Rachel."

"But—"

"Please," I press. "That's—er, an order."

"The Oracle doesn't answer to you, General," she gives me a grumpy look.

My shoulders fall. "Can't you do it as a friend?"

"What thing?" She teases me. "Keep the secret, or answering to you?"

"It wasn't a big deal, so I can take care of it on my own."

She doesn't believe me. Nothing was ever "not a big deal" if the Oracle was spitting out a prophecy about it. 

"Alright. But if you end up needing help, you have to ask for it."

I tense, not wanting to utter the words, but if I don't, Rachel will tell Chiron.

"I promise."

There are better ways to wake up from a nap than to turn your room sideways.

The nap worked though, so as she navigates the large corridors slamming against the walls, she manages not to throw up at all until she reaches the deck.

"Holy—!"

"What's going— Gah! Shrimpzilla!" Percy crashes against her.

"What is that?!" Ara screams, drawing out Almighty and almost crawling to reach the helm.

"Must be one of Keto's stupid monsters!" Annabeth yells. "How did it get so close?" 

"I don't know!" Hedge shouts.

"I'm stupid!" Leo cries out. "Stupid, stupid! I forgot the sonar!"

The ship tilts again, almost completely on one side. 

"Sonar?" Hedge growls. "Pan's pipes, Valdez! Maybe if you hadn't been staring into Hazel's eyes, holding hands for so long—"

"What?" Frank and Ara reply in shock.

"It wasn't like that!" Hazel argues.

"It doesn't matter!" Piper intervenes. "Jason, can you call some lightning?"

Jason is completely drained from their encounter with the Romans, and Percy isn't any better. The monster's thin wire-like legs slid over the deck and Ara barely ducks and presses herself against the railing.

"Stay away from my ship!" Ara slashes tendrils as she goes.

"Hazel!" Leo screams. "That box! Open it!"

Ara's eyes land on the box of Greek fire Leo keeps on deck. She knows what he's got in mind.

"Ara, go and help!" The boy continues to give out orders. "Coach, take the wheel! Turn us toward the monster, or we'll capsize!"

"Hope you got a plan!" The satyr runs up to him.

Ara has half a mind to think about what Hedge said about Leo and Hazel, the current monster threatening to sink them is far more important than whatever feelings she may have about it, if she has any at all. Janus came, and she chose duty. She mutes her emotions and does what Leo asks of her, running to Hazel and opening the wooden box. 

"You gotta be gentle with these," she warns her.

"Ara," Hazel starts. "What Hedge said—"

"I don't care!" She snaps at her impatiently. "Come on!"

"Frank!" Leo runs across the deck. "Buy us some time! Can you turn into a shark or something?"

Frank scowls at Leo, and the monster knocks him out of the ship when he gets distracted. Hazel cries out and almost drops the vials she's holding, but Leo catches them when he arrives at their side.

"Come on! We can kill the monster—and save Frank!" He glances at Ara, his expression telling her nothing at all. "Can you help us climb to the port rail?"

"Yes."

"What is this stuff?" Hazel pants as Ara drags them up the deck.

"Greek fire!" Leo shouts.

"Are you crazy? If these break, we'll burn the whole ship!"

"Its mouth!" Leo points as they reach the railing, he holds onto it to not slip back down. "Just chuck it down its—"

Once again, Ara is the only one fast enough to dodge the tendril. She slips back and watches in horror as Hazel and Leo get lifted. The girl glares at the monster, Lily's stygian dagger gets heavier on her belt. "You asked for it..."

Leo singes the creature so it loosens its grip. It feels like it happens in slow motion, Ara can tell what his plan is as it happens, and she only has a few seconds to help. She presses twice on the alpha of her sword, turning it into a BB gun.

She shoots at the same time Leo throws his vial of Greek fire at the monster. The pellet crashes against it and makes it explode directly into the monster's mouth. Hazel throws the second vial, and Ara shoots again. That one explodes in the monster's line of vision. 

Ara presses on the alpha twice, and Almighty turns into a grappling hook. It attaches to the main mast, and the girl jumps overboard drawing out Lily's dagger. She swings across the length of the monster, cutting through the creature's skin. 

It's not a deep cut, but the injury is long, and mixed with Leo's Greek fire weakens the beast enough so it loosens its grip on the ship. Ara's hand hurts from holding all of her weight, but she pays no attention to it as the tool yanks her back into the ship. She stumbles to a stop, then puts Lily's dagger away and her skin glows teal.

"Everyone hold onto the railing!" A wave pushes them away from the monster, and Ara forces the currents to keep pushing until they're out of reach. "Annabeth, the ballista!"

Her friend shoots twice, the creature shrieks, and then the sea swallows it leaving nothing on the surface. Ara slips to the floor, her face turning green.

"Ara," Piper approaches. "Leo and Hazel—"

"And Frank," Ara nods dryly. "Where is my brother?"

"The monster knocked him out," Jason gets closer too, eyeing her with concern. "We should check on you too."

"Feed him ambrosia and bring him up," she turns Almighty back into a compass and looks at it, the needle moves speedily over the symbols without stopping and makes her dizzier, so she looks away. "We gotta search the sea."

"Ara, we have a problem with the—"

"In a moment," she stops Annabeth and leans over the rail to talk to Percy. "What do you mean they're gone?!"

"I can't find them!" Percy shouts back, floating right next to the Argo II. "And no one here has seen them!"

"I saw them fall! Keep looking!" Ara looks back at Annabeth. "You were saying?"

Ara clings to her role and does her best, but Leo is the one who fixes what's in the engine room so that will have to wait until he comes back. If he comes back. In the meantime, Ara takes care of the rest with Annabeth's help and makes sure everyone patches up their wounds.

Percy comes back on board frustrated, this is the first time he's lost a battle against a sea monster, and he's deeply confused at the fact that he wasn't able to find any of their friends. Ara remains hopeful, if there are no bodies, then they didn't die.

Annabeth approaches and places a hand on Ara's shoulder. "We have to warn the camp about Octavian."

They call Chiron. Annabeth and Ara explain what happened. At least this she's familiar with, preparing the camp for attacks used to be her bread and butter.

"We'll be okay, Strategus," Chiron tells her. "Your job is to keep the seven in one piece until they finish the quest. Focus on nothing else."

"She's doing a great job," Annabeth informs him. "Last night she killed Shrimpzilla and made it look easy."

"Shrimpzilla took three of our crew," Ara points out sternly. "I gotta keep searching, Chiron, but... Tell everyone I'll return soon. I... I promise."

Chiron gives her a sympathetic look. Being a leader is nothing like she thought it'd be.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @asnyox-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles @ellipsisspelled @thepixiechicksh

[allfillernothriller]

Welcome to Unhinged Hours, a series of posts that will be tagged as such in which I will overshare my cringiest and most awkward thoughts because I've no self-control over my need to vent. And who knows. Might help someone else.

Don't mind the dubious syntax and weird grammar.

[cw brief mention of abuse]

When I was 17-19, I was mortified to discover I was attracted to (much) older people. During my early twenties, the majority of my crushes were in their thirties. I knew the age gap was too big and I was too young, so I did nothing about them and naively thought this was something that would fix itself with time. I thought "at least I know I find people in their thirties attractive so I just have to wait to reach mine and date people my age then" (lmao good one past me). Well. As I'm inching ever closer to said thirties, it's more and more evident that the issue clearly did NOT fix itself, those old crushes are nearing their forties and I haven't stopped carrying them in my heart. They're attractive in new ways. When I look at pics from back when I first developed a crush, I find that my current 27yo self isn't physically attracted to their 32yo self I was originally attracted to anymore. And I know for a fact that 21yo me wouldn't have found 38yo [redacted] hot. But current me is still attracted to current them (38yo [redacted] is indeed very hot). And you might wonder what's the issue here, so lemme tell you. I've been frequenting online feminist spaces for a decade. I've read countless accounts of teenage girls and young women who were manipulated and abused by older partners. I've read an inordinate amount of warnings, the gist of all of them being “don't date older folks during your formative years, don't believe them when they call you 'mature for your age'”. And let me be crystal clear — I still think it's relevant and infinitely important to relay those accounts and protect girls and young women, and help them spot red flags and predatory patterns. It absolutely is, I am not blaming feminism for my existential struggles. I am simply giving you context. The thing is, I've internalised this as “don't ever pursue older folks, period” (which is a completely different thing, I knew that then and still know it now but couldn't help it) and as a result I've been lugging around self-inflicted guilt and shame for years (and don't I love the internalised biphobia that adds to it when the person happens to be a man /s). And these crushes I've been telling you about? They're one-sided! They've never expressed any interest, so that's always been a safe situation for me, but did that prevent any self-loathing from taking root in my brain? Course it didn't! I can't seem to shake the feeling that there's something wrong with me and I've grown tired of this. Scolding myself over human emotions is getting fucking old.

That brings me to today's crisis — at which point in one's life does it get easier to accept? How old is old enough to stop caring about the age gap? When will I stop blaming myself? How do I drop the guilt?

Because if it was "just" the fact that I'm still swooning over the same people (who are now soon-to-be 40), that would be too easy, wouldn't it? But nooo I just had to go and get a new crush on someone who's already in their forties. Where does this end, please?

(You might've noticed that the overuse of the word 'crush' and choosing to focus on the physical aspect of attraction here is a poor attempt at a euphemism. I mean some of them are simple crushes, as for the others... past a certain point, still calling them crushes is just denial on my part. I'm basically fooling myself.)

“This is a crisis. A large crisis. In fact, if you've got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour porterage and an enormous sign on the roof saying 'this is a Large Crisis'.” (Blackadder Goes Forth, ep. 6)

[angelwheat]

Hey, I love your writing! Can I request the Primis boys with a pregnant S/O? Ty❤️

Call of Duty Zombies

2.0, Primis Crew; Pregnant S/O

I'm surprised that I haven't received this prompt before. Thanks for the request lovely ✨️

I'm elaborating on 4 points each for the meantime. If you want more in-depth hcs about a certain character, drop me an ask.

Warnings: None | Pronouns: She/Her

"Tank" Dempsey

He's over the moon! He's literally bouncing with excitement once his S/O tells him that she's pregnant. Dempsey lifts her off the ground for a hug and gives her a big kiss as happy tears well up in his eyes. He's so giddy for weeks after, perhaps months even. He never really settles about it. He's finally beginning to start a family of his own, and he couldn't be more excited.

Generally, he's the most doting man on earth while his S/O is pregnant. He helps her with things she can't quite do, such as lifting heavy things and reaching into places she can't quite get to. Or even if she can do things herself, Dempsey offers to help. Which might be a little agitating to his S/O, but he means well. He also often compliments her as he's witnessing her body grow and change as she's carrying their child. Especially at times when she might feel insecure, he's so loving.

Dempsey isn't clued up on all of the ins and outs of pregnancy, so some things he witnessed took him by surprise. Such as the morning sickness. Although he did know it was bound to come, it solely depends on the severity. Whenever his S/O was rushing to the bathroom with a hand over her mouth, he made sure he was always there to comfort her or hold her hair back. He never let himself get grossed out by it.

He forgets about the mental preparation until the last few weeks of his S/O's pregnancy. This is during the time he's most watchful of her. Everything will suddenly daunt on him at once. His doubts, worries, and fears all strike up in intensity. Dempsey tries to convince himself that these feelings will subside and keeps himself quiet, but he ends up blurting them out to his S/O in a fret at some point. Not to worry, they have each other.

Edward Richtofen

His S/O is pregnant? This is wonderful news! Edward can feel his heart racing as he's beaming with happiness. He wraps his S/O in a gentle, loving hug, smiling as he kisses her lips over and over. He can already imagine the future, and it makes him so excited because he can not wait to begin this new chapter in his life.

Edward has a little more knowledge of pregnancy than the others. He's aware of most things that his S/O is going to experience, and he is attentive at all times. Of all the symptoms, the mood swings took him by surprise. One moment, she's beaming with happiness, to pouring her eyes out, to getting agitated by the tiniest things. It makes him a bit weary, but he always figures out a way to help and comfort her if need be.

As Edward winds down a little from the joy he feels in the beginning, although it'll never fade, his nerves really start to kick in. He has so many worries, and he feels that he'll never be prepared to take on the role of being a father. He spends so much time contemplating the choices he's made, and whether the choices he has to make in the future will be the right ones. His mind becomes a bit of a mess for a while, but he tries to cope on his own because his S/O has enough stress on her already.

Late at night sometimes, while lying in bed with his S/O, Edward will talk a lot about the future. During these late night conversations, she'll truly get an insight into some of the things he's thought about, and she can express her own thoughts and ideas too. He cradles her and rubs soothing circles over her tummy, letting her know how she's doing a wonderful job and that she's looking beautiful while doing so.

Nikolai Belinski

He's overjoyed when his S/O tells him that she's pregnant, but he can't hold back the tears that immediately fall from his eyes as he engulfs her in a big hug. Nikolai can't express how happy he is at that moment. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened in his life, and he couldn't be more excited about raising a child with the love of his life.

He's very much like Dempsey with regard to being doting. Nikolai is simply there to look after his S/O to the fullest he possibly can. He helps her greatly around the house and will even take on more chores to save her the added exertion on her body. Although, he truly does admire her while she goes about her day. Just seeing her, knowing that she's carrying his child in her tummy, can make him a bit emotional sometimes.

Nikolai loves the anticipation and gets excited as he's eager to know the baby's gender. He wants to start choosing names the second he learns that she's pregnant, as he knows how indecisive he is, so he won't make his mind up right away. He would love to incorporate a name to each of their ethnicity, if his partner is also foreign that is. Perhaps a Russian first name, and a middle name of their ethnicity, or vice versa.

In her final months/weeks of pregnancy, Nikolai is most vigilant. He often tells her that she needs to take it easy simply because he's stressed that she'll overwork herself. He enjoys resting with her either on the couch or in bed. He lets her snuggle up beside him, and he gently caresses and kisses her tummy if she's feeling discomfort. He especially loves it if he feels the baby kick. It makes him giddy to know that he won't have to wait much longer to meet his newborn child.

Takeo Masaki

He's stunned when his S/O tells him the good news that she's pregnant. He can feel his heart beginning to race, and he moves to wrap her in his arms immediately. Takeo holds her tightly, resting his head on her shoulder as a tear rolls down his cheek. But he's happy! He's just so overwhelmed with processing everything that is yet to come. He tells her that he can't wait to begin this new life with her and their child.

Takeo knows the basis of what to expect while his S/O is pregnant, so without a doubt, he was started by a lot of the new things he witnessed her experience. The mood swings. The morning sickness, especially. Her random cravings. It all caught Takeo a little of guard, especially when things got intense. He does his best to be around her for whenever she may need him. After all, he is quite the soothing soul, even just in his presence. When she's having a hard time, Takeo can comfort her easily.

He wants to have a long discussion about the future with their child. Takeo admits that he doesn't feel prepared, and his S/O may feel that way too, especially as something so life changing is upcoming. But he wants to speak to his S/O and get plans in order, even if they end up falling through. It's just that in the meantime, he needs a sense of direction that may help ease the stress for both of them.

There's lots of beautiful names to choose from. Takeo will feel just as indecisive as his S/O can be. Towards the end of her pregnancy, it's often that late at night when they're lying in bed together, conversations between them can become very intimate about a variety of subjects. But Takeo likes to talk about names. He has the same idea as Nikolai with incorporating names from either of their cultures, but will most likely let his S/O settle on whatever name she likes. He's happy no matter what.

[malamai]

This is probably going to be heavy.

Basically I'm going to just express this sadness here because my partner tried to speak to me the other day regarding this and I get a lump in my throat and its like the words won't come up, they choke me in a way and nobody will read this because I don't think anyone I know personally even knows that I started using my blog again because tumblr is dead now.

it's somebody's milestone birthday this month and I haven't spoken to them since 2020 because basically it sounds crazy when I say it like that but they were the closest thing to a sister I ever had, she was/will always be the best friend I ever had. Basically we had a disagreement over something that seems so stupid now but the thing that got me was the the last thing she said to me was "I know you're done with me." When I tried to speak to her about the issue in a message form and it really hit a nerve internally with me where it just felt like "Okay, I will never be done with you but is this really one of those things where this is so disposable to her?" And I didn't stick around to find out, it just really hurt because I just felt like she shut years of friendship down, we literally did everything together and spoke everyday and Lee still says "you just still miss her don't you?" But I know she doesn't miss me. She had a new best friend pretty fast and just seemed to forget about me and the people who came with me as a deal and it literally broke my heart in the worst way, I keep everyone new at arms length who I meet because nothing would ever be able to replace that relationship in my eyes, so it's like what's the point? Like it is what it is and I guess I'm just one half of what was a duo now and have been since 2020 as pathetic as that sounds, it's ruined all my life plans because I just feel like there's a person that should be here but they are not, they should be here laughing at me doing the stupid shit I do but it's just a voice in my head now that I carry with me of what that person would say to me. I've never told any of our secrets, felt angry over a memory or not been able to look back at some of the crazy times and laugh but now I just tear up. I just miss that person so much and I just feel like I'm heartbroken. Like I'd love to just one day wake up and there be a message or a call, something but I know there won't be and it's crushing. I feel like somebody has died and I can't stop mourning them but they're just going about life when they were just such a big piece of mine.

So yeah I can't talk about it to my Lee when he asks me why I don't just message her and tell her how I feel because I can't physically say it because it's like the whole thing has me by the throat and I can't speak, I just cry and shut down and thats just not something I do. Usually I am confronting, I can talk about my pain and I can handle shit but this is just awful and has been since it happened.

[brightwingedbat]

👀 (@commanderhorncleaver)

A thing I was meant to finish this year but kept putting it to the side, post EoD talks with Nastazya and Rox. Got the main chat down but not the beginning or after parts, put a read break because it's pretty long. Naz and Marcus visiting her at the isles, partly to get away from the wintery Tyria weather. Marc is off fishing however. -Rox and Nastazya having introductory talks I haven't sorted out yet- "Gotta say, wasn't expecting to hear you were having another cub. After, well, everything." Rox's thoughts fall back to the utter chaos the world has been through that past few years, she finds herself fortunate that she can share a relaxing time with her friends now, the sounds of the sea nearby bring a calm to her. "Look at you, though I don't think that belly's as big as the last time." A short laugh utters from Ragewelder's muzzle, now that was a time, carrying her twins while going after Joko. "It isn't, I can assure that. As much as I love my son and daughter, I'd be more than happy to just have one cub this time."

"Ha, yeah, I suppose taking care of one cub is a lot easier than two." Taking care of cubs... That brings back fahrar memories, nostalgic, yet painful for the brown-furred charr. She wants this to be a brighter day though, meeting the commander with a smile. "It's a wonder how primuses even manage. If matters ever line up here, I'm glad I'll have the Olmakhan ways."

"Oh, don't even remind me about primuses..." Ragewelder archs her head back, a sigh escaping her as that one day comes to mind. "I watched over five cubs once, with Marcus, and I could not handle it. Give me a grown warband to lead over being a primus any day..."

"And there's the Nastazya I'm used to, you never really change." Rox always finds it amusing when the Commander gets like this, usually she's so stoic, but around friends she lets loose. "Speaking of never changing, I know I'm hardly one to talk but I don't think I've ever seen you without your hair in braids like that." She starts to wonder how different the Commander would look with a new hairstyle, at this point it's very much a part of her appearance she can't picture her without it.

"My braids?" A tinge of bittersweetness hits Nastazya's chest as the scenes of her childhood arise, those braids of hers, there's a simple but important history behind them. Her paw raises up, gently brushing over a cherry-orange plait, as if looking for comfort. "It's... something I won't ever change, they're important." A soft sigh from her lips, accompanying a wistful expression.

"...Is everything alright? I didn't mean to bring up something that might hurt-" Rox worriedly looks to the orange charr, halting herself as she catches her friend gently shaking her head still with that same look on her face. "It's fine, it's doesn't-" Ragewelder realises, there's no point trying to push it off, Rox can clearly read her well. She takes a breath, a gentle tone in her voice she's rare to use. "It hurts some, but it's also... A fond time, I treasure it. I think it'd be good to talk about it, talk about those happy memories I have."

"As long as it's not too much, you're here to relax after all. Don't wanna ruin that for you." The Olmakhan assures, the last thing she wants is to make a friend who has already suffered so much deal with further pain. Always so caring, Nastazya thinks. Rox has never been one to push her to speaking, but always gave that option to let her. It's something she's long valued. "I appreciate your concern, but I wouldn't offer to talk if it was."

"Alright, if you say so. I'm all ears for you, then." The ranger at last relents, leaning a slight forward in interest. Another view into the Commander's history? Not something she wants to miss out on. As she prepares to speak, those fond memories rush into her mind, a treasured moment with the cubs she grew up in fahrar with. "When I was young, a scrappy little cub in fahrar, my primus' mate came to visit him once. She had her hair styled similarly to this, my warband could see it in my eyes, I wanted the same." She gently shakes her head, chuckling as she thinks about how childish this sounds. "It's so... silly, thinking back. All six of them, Tullia, Clio, Graw, Faust, Howl and Dinky... They all did whatever they could to help me braid my hair, even going to find clips and ties for it." "Your first warband... Now I get it. Those types of memories, those are the most precious ones for charr like us." If this was years back, Rox would have been hurting a lot more at the memories of her warband. Time with the Olmakhan has let her heal though, she can focus on the times she enjoyed. "They are, and that's exactly why..." Nastazya looks down to her long braids, each one is significant to her, each one. "That's why I won't ever change these braids, even when I undo them when I bathe, I always fix them back just like this. My friends- Family. Each one of them made one."

"I never realised, all this time you've been using your hair as a memorial to them…" Rox responds softly, it's honestly a very heartfelt act, it shows how much the Commander cared for her first 'band. "Which one did which?"

Nastazya smiles, then points a claw to each length of hair as she describes the cub that fashioned it. "Faust taught them all how to do it, his is this one beside my face. Tullia made this one that circles beneath my ear. Clio made this one, just behind it. This tiny one was Dinky's work, he may still be with us, but I keep it all the same. These last two huge ones were done by Graw and Howl, fitting for the two big guys back then."

It's heartening to hear how preciously the Commander speaks about her braids like this, about her old warband family. It's a side rarely ever shown, Rox feels special to be able to hear this side of her. "...You know, beneath that strong Commander exterior, you're a really sweet person. I'd bet all of them appreciate you carrying on, keeping them close in your own way." Ragewelder smiles lightly, a soft expression as she glances back to her friend. "I'm certain they do." She returns to her typical sitting position, her paws off her braids. A slight tilt of her head as she addresses that other part. "And Rox? Keep that sweetness thing between us, I have an image to uphold."

The brown charr tries to stifle her laugh but ends up snorting instead, the Commander really doesn't change. "I got it, you can always trust me. I'll be sure to keep you being a gentle, sweet and overall precious person under wraps." A larger smile spreads on Nastazya's muzzle, she's rubbing it in even more, and yet she finds the playfulness amusing herself. Still, best not let it go too long. "Okay, that's quite enough Rox-"

-Marcus would interrupt this part by rushing in excitedly shouting about a huge fish he just caught-

[cataloglily]

I think there may never be enough words to express everything that you have meant to me, and still mean to me.

I know it's been more than two years, and I've been grieving our relationship for almost longer than it existed, but I can't do anything to speed up the process. I've always been slow to let things go, slow to get over things, and I've never had anything this big to get over before.

We've had the closure conversations. I've apologised, I've said thank you, I've tried to tell you how grateful I am for everything... but somehow it doesn't feel like enough. I feel like there aren't words on the planet to express how every cell in my body is filled with gratitude towards you. I want to scoop out the stardust from inside me and cover you with it. I want to tell you that everything good about me came from you. I want to tell you that I still don't understand how we ended up like this, how I feel in my soul that we were meant to be connected, in a way I never did when we were together. I wish I could go back in time and relive it all, I'm desperate to.

But I don't want to relive the hard parts.

Whenever I try to express all this, it doesn't feel like enough. It feels so B I G and I am so small. I am too small to contain these feelings. Do you understand how important you are to me? How much I still care? How much I wish we could talk like we used to?

It's so strange to me now. You were my family and now we don't even talk.

And I don't even know if I loved you the way I should have, but I loved you. I loved you. I still do. I always will. I love you, I love you, I love you.

And as I type that I realise that was why the words didn't feel like enough. They didn't feel like enough because what I feel is LOVE and there is nothing as big as that.

I've been going through the motions, I've been working, dating, seeing friends, trying hobbies. But it's not working, I don't feel whole, I don't feel normal. The motivation is gone, the dreams are gone, the excitement is gone. It's all surface deep and I have depths inside my soul that haven't been touched since you.

I can't connect with anyone else. You are this universe inside me and there is just no comparison. Nobody else even comes close.

I remember back before all of this even started, in our hotel room on that trip to Norway, when you told me you felt you had been brought to me to help me transition to the next stage of my life. You did that. You more than did that. You changed EVERYTHING and I fucked it up is this how I repay you for all the joy you brought me? Why couldn't I be normal? Why couldn't I just love you the way we both needed me to? Why couldn't I be happy, be sure, be normal?

I don't want you just for the transition. I want you forever. I'm fucking scared but I want you. I couldn't fucking see it before, I let everything cloud my vision, and I'll regret that for the rest of my life.

So what do I do? I can't go back. The reasons why it didn't work out are all still there and I'm even more different now and you probably are too. I'm scared to know the things that have changed since I left. Do I just have to carry this love around with me until I die, knowing there's nowhere to put it?

I have to let you go, but I don't know how.

Let me let you go. Let me move on. Set me free. I need you to set me free.

Can you let me let you go? Please?

[sapphirestuff]

— [23:39] with Oikawa Tooru

Synopsis: You notice your boyfriend always came home late, meaning you get lesser time together. Even if it's midnight, so what?

Notes: 510 words, fluff, drabbles, almost suggestive in the end but really isn't, domestic

As soon as you hear footsteps coming near, you rise from the couch, approaching the door and unlocked it.

"Welcome home, Tooru!"

"Y/n? Why are you still awake at this hour?"

You see your boyfriend in his jacket, inside it is his uniform he usually wears at his practices and loose leggings.

You grab his hand to pull him inside from the cold and drag him to your shared room. "I can't sleep so I waited for you to pass time. Here, I'll help you out."

Well, yeah, you can't sleep. You've been wanting to spend some time with him, yes, even if it means you have to wait for him at midnight.

You help him undress, and put back some of his things in his bag as you bought him some pajamas to change into. Once he's getting comfortable, he joins you sitting on the edge of the bed next to you.

You crawl on to his back and put both of your hands on his shoulders, massaging it, you feel his muscles loosen up a bit as he led out a loud sigh in delight.

"How's your day been? Is practice rough? How about work?"

Because of his absence from morning till night, you only see him at the morning before he go to work. You've been meaning to get to know of his busy schedule more since you got the chance.

"It's all fine, with all the tournament in a few days already, the coach decides to give us some extra sessions. It's been tiring tho, I'm kinda glad you haven't sleep yet..."

Big events like tournaments easily get under his skin, therefore, it's the reason he came home late. He doesn't want to disappoint you after all.

You stop the massage only to hug him from behind afterwards. He grabs one of your arm, turning his head around, and nipping kisses on your face that brings a cute smile to his face. Although he has things that he carries on his mind, he misses his times with you.

"I miss you.." you confess your frustrations of yearning to spend more time with him, hiding your face on his shoulder, your hug tightens.

He finds it cute and endearing the way you miss him, letting a faint giggle of it, he pats your head with his free hand, and pushes you onto the bed softly.

The sudden action made you surprised, it showed clearly on your expression, your expression of surprised but amazed.

You can clearly see his face, on top of you. Gentle, sweet, loving, and pretty. His stare focuses on you like a camera zooming in, dragging his fingers slowly on your face, adoring you like a treasure before diving in to kiss you.

"I miss you more..." He whisper quietly, pulling an inch away from your lips. Your yearnings have been answered and healed, you two decided to spend the night until one of you dozed off.

"It's just for a week, when I won the tournament, I'm taking you out all day. Deal?"

A/n: Oikawa brainrot, he's so charming i can't-

[nothing-but-dreamy]

HC: s/o is dying in their arms

A/N: So..... I got this request:

"If you have the time do you think maybe you could do a headcanon with the resident evil boys reacting to their s/o dying in their arms? That angsty stuff ya know?"

And, here you go! I took Leon Kennedy and Chris Redfield. Enjoy...?

Words: 3.135

Warnings: angst, mention of blood, mention of death, raw emotions (the whole palette; gender neutral reader

Leon Kennedy:

- before Leon even can react, the infected has bitten you, digging its teeth into your flesh what caused you to cry out in pain and in surprise because you haven't noticed it behind you at all

- Leon kills the zombie or infected or whatever it was Umbrella had created this time before he runs to you

- you are already coughing blood; you press your hand on the wound but you are already spilling the blood on your bulletproof vest - ironically that you thought a bullet would kill you when you are fighting against BOWs

- you see Leon's concerned expression and that is the only thing that is really hard for you in this moment - to see him suffer; he is the last one who deserves any of this because he is too nice, too lovely, too handsome and too precious

- because deep down inside of you, you know that it is over; this is the end of your journey; the BOW didn't just take a little bite to taste you - no, it took the whole buffet and a refill on top

- you already feel the virus spreading through your veins, nagging on the healthy blood cells to change them into something nasty, at least you imagine it to be like this; it is just a question of time what happens first: that you become one of these undead monsters on your own OR that you die of immense blood loss - internally, you hope for the second option because the last thing that should ever happen is that Leon sees himself forced to kill you

- Leon kneels next to you; he doesn't even care if he is already covered in your blood, the only thing he is trying is saving your life

- he tries to give you the anti-virus but you stop him what makes Leon even more furious, a state you barely have witnessed before from this skilled, composed but also cheeky agent who always has some funny words on his lips to make you smile

"Could you please keep still so I can help you?"

"Leon, n-no... just ... don't.", you breathe, stopping his hand while you get shook by new waves of coughing.

"YN, we don't have much time. So, please, be smart and listen to me just this one time.", Leon says composed but you already see the tears glittering in the corners of his eyes - these beautiful, bright eyes you will miss the most because they held the promise of your shared future in them.

"It... it would be just a- a waste..", you choke out, taking the anti-virus to throw it out of reach for Leon who stares at you in shock, "The blood lo-lo... the loss is faster than the virus. At.... at least, I- I'm not turning into ... into...", your voice breaks as you become short of breath.

- Leon already sits on the ground, ignoring whatever happens around him; it doesn't matter at all; he just sits down, pulling you onto his lap while enclosing you with his arms as strong as he can to pull you close to his chest, the place where you have been preferably when you two were together, spending quality time in bed together

- this time, it is the same; your hands already find their way to his chest so you can feel his heartbeat while you try to breathe and live a little bit longer; you fight till your last breath just to look into Leon's handsome face, framed by these always so soft fringes; that is the last wish you have to whatever entity that might be out there - that Leon's face would be the image that will burn into your mind that it will persist till you reach the afterlife

- Leon tries to stay strong for you but it is not working; the tears are already running free as he realizes that you are right; no help would be fast enough to save you; so, this is the last opportunity he has to say things; things he always had on his mind when he saw you, when he was with you but he never found the right moment to say them; Leon was sure he would have all the time in the world to show you what you meant to him if he wasn't able to tell you that - now, he had to realize that he was wrong

"Leon... p-please, look at me...", you plead softly, seeing his eyes is something you cling to as if they are the lighthouses which would guide you back into life.

Leon smiles weakly at you and strokes bloody strands out of your face, "Don't worry, you have my whole attention like always. I always had eyes just for you, sweetheart.", he whispers.

"Oh, n-no... y-you won't start now with the-these cheesy nicknames.", you choke out, accompanied with some more blood.

Leon chuckles softly about the fact that you are still the same, talking back like always, "Fight me. When you decide to leave me, I can decide to call you 'sweetheart' as much as I want.", he says and shows you your favorite smirk even through tears.

You chuckle, "Yeah, blame me for that, Kennedy.", you whisper.

Leon leans closer to you as he notices that you become weaker, even the grip of your hands becomes less, "There are so many things I always wanted to tell you and now, you... you-", but his voice breaks because no matter how tough he wants to be it is you he is losing right now. You are his partner as an agent and in life, working side by side and living even closer.

With your last strength, you raise your hand to cup Leon's cheek, "Then tell... tell me the most imp-important thing...", you say slowly to get the words out as clearly as possible.

Leon leans against your weak touch, already feeling how your skin becomes colder. You also start to shiver and he brings you even closer to keep you warm with the body heat you were always searching for, "The most important thing? That I love you, YN. I lost my heart on you the moment I met you no matter how frustrating you were with your trouble-making attitude. As we started to date, I was the happiest man on this planet and this never changed. You just make me so damn happy. I should have told you that so much earlier.", he whispers.

You smile weakly at him, "Better now th... th-then never...", you whisper. Actually, you want to say more but you can't.

Leon, who sees it, leans down, raising your chin with his forefinger softly lying underneath it so he can reach your lips for a longing, loving and caring kiss. He feels you responding to his lips. You kiss him back. He continues to kiss you with more force, with more emotions until he notices that there is no reaction from you anymore.

- Leon squeezes his eyes shut, leaving your lips slowly and resting his forehead against yours while countless hot tears are running down his cheeks; he covers you with his tears, a veil of undying love Leon carries for you

- he's clinging desperately on your lifeless body in his arms; his fingers are digging into your skin in hope to jolt you back into life but nothing happens

- he even sobs ugly and muffles the sound as he buries his face into your hair to take a deep breath of your scent for the very last time

- he just sits like this for no matter how long, embracing you, until medics come to bring you away - or at least, they try because Leon won't let go of you; only as another agent comes to remind Leon of the rules and the protocols they have to follow, Leon gives in and let go of you but just very reluctantly

- in the end, Leon Kennedy stands there, covered from head to toe in your blood with dark gleaming eyes and a grim expression on his face with the strong determination to destroy Umbrella and everything else which fault it was that he had lost the love of his life forever

Chris Redfield:

- as Chris hears the shot, it isn't just the sound of a bullet leaving a gun;

- it is the sound that will burn itself forever into his mind, into his memories and into his heart because the moment he hears it accompanied by your muffled scream, a big part of his life will change within one second

- Chris turns around and sees you slowly slumping down on your knees before you fall to the ground, lying on your side and gasping for air

- the Umbrella subject the team was chasing is already on the run with the gun still in his hand; two members of Chris' team are running after him, catching and arrest him

- but Chris doesn't care for the mission any longer as he sees you nearly unconscious lying on the ground, a puddle of blood already forming underneath you; seeping from the nasty gunshot wound in your body

- with long strides, Chris is next to you in just a few seconds; he throws his rifle aside; undressing the protected jacket he is wearing to press it onto your wound to stop the bleeding but he already has noticed that your aorta got hit; blood is already everywhere and still pouring out of you very quickly

"YN! Open your eyes! Now! That's an order!", Chris says serious and slaps softly on your cheek to wake you up.

Very slowly because you already feel weak, you open your eyes just to see his worried expression, "That didn't go as planned, right?", you choke out with a strained voice.

- The other members of the team are in some distance just watching helplessly the scene; the medic feels frustrated and angry because there is nothing he could do to help you; he already had seen that you will die within the next few minutes and in the way Chris treats you in front of everyone, the medic knows that Chris is aware of your death as well

- Chris knows what such a wound means and so, he doesn't want to waste any precious moment with you; you, the one person he kept the closest to himself; it were against a bunch of rules to start something with a team member and Chris always was dutifully enough to stick to the rules until you showed up; you changed the game the second Chris had laid his eyes on you;

- you were the best explosive expert he could ask for; your personality was just as spicy as your grenades and first, Chris thought you were just toying with him but quickly, during a mission where the two of you had to save each other asses, he realized that you weren't just flirting out of fun instead, you really wanted him; Chris was sure with his assumption as you were kissing him;

- that was you and your character - cheeky, playfully, bubbly, maybe a bit too over the top but straight forward if you really wanted something; mostly when you wanted him

- all this is swirling through Chris' mind as he kneels next to you, scooting you up into his lap to have you closer; he doesn't care if someone sees the two of you; he already expected your relationship to be an open secret to the other members of his team; they all knew about the two of you and secretly, they were all shipping you two so hard; destroying any kind of rumors in the beginning to protect the two of you and that no superior would notice the tiniest bit

You look into his beautiful but concerned eyes, "Chris, I'm sorry, I fucked up.", you whisper, your voice is layered with pain and agony; you even try to move but you give up as you already feel your body becoming numb

"Shh, everything will be good again, you will see. Don't worry.", Chris whispers and strokes softly over your back. He's lying, he knows it, you know it, the others know it, but no one cares; you know he needs that to stay strong for you or otherwise he would break in front of you;

- no matter how tough Chris Redfield seems to be on the outside, you know how soft he is on the inside; you discovered this side on him very quickly because he couldn't keep up his resistance in front of you; this tough, tall and broad guy turned into a soft, passionately and cuddly teddy bear in your hands and you wouldn't want to have it differently

"Yeah, you know, Captain, there are still a few things I wanna do with you.", you say low with a soft smirk, using your favorite 'nickname' for him to produce a weak smile on Chris' lips; you always used his military rank as a teasing nickname when you two were in bed, knowing exactly that it turned him on to get called that from you in a sexy voice

"What things do you wanna do? Tell me so we can plan something for the next week. We all need a break.", Chris asks, his voice just a whisper because he can't speak louder anymore or otherwise the raw emotions would take control over him completely.

"Showing you my home town. My mother wants to meet you so desperately.", you say before you hissed with pain, "You know, I told her a few things about you."

"Oh, already? I had no idea you're so serious with me.", Chris says, his voice heavy with tears while he strokes beads of sweat out of your face.

"Obviously, I fell in love with your sexy ass and now, there's no turning back anymore for me because I just love you, Chris.", you whisper weakly, one single tear is running down your cheek because the last thing you want is to leave this incredible man forever.

- that you address him by his name is almost too much for Chris to handle because you just do it when you talk about important, serious things; he swallows thickly because your confession is everything he always wanted to hear no matter how sure he was to have you; to hear these three words coming from your lips was everything Chris was longing for and now, as they came, he would have done everything to switch these words with your life to keep you by his side a little bit longer

Chris pulls you even closer, "I know you will hate it to hear but I won our bet that you would say 'I love you' first. Gotcha.", Chris breathes, nudging your nose with his and now, he even can't stop the tears anymore from running freely down his cheek, soaking his shirt and even your combat clothes

The blood loss is already too heavy and so you claw your hand into Chris' shirt to pull him down to you because you can't move properly anymore, "I can handle losing this silly bet because I already got the jackpot of my life a long time ago.", you breathe before you connect your lips with Chris’ for the most passionately and longing but at the same time desperately kiss the two of you have ever shared.

- all the love you feel for this soldier is lying in your lips which are getting colder with each passing second. Chris' lips are hot against yours, the stubble he sports as a beard, because you like to see it on him the most, is already wet with heartbreaking tears; you try to deepen the kiss but the dizziness in your head is already too much; Chris encloses your face with his free hand, supporting your neck with his long fingers and kisses you stronger than before; your tongues are caressing each other lovingly before Chris breaks the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours

- You feel Chris' warm breath fanning over your face while his heart is racing under your weak grip of your hand. You hate to see him suffer like this, knowing that he has to live with the pain to lose you, to be alone again. You hope he finds someone else even if you already know that Chris will have a tough time while coping with your death, maybe even using your death as the cause to start a vendetta against Umbrella and everything they do.

Your vision becomes slowly blurry and the edges of your sight are already black, "Chris, promise me that you won't do reckless things...", you choke out, followed by some coughing.

"Stay by my side and I won't do anything, I promise.", Chris whispers, offering you a solution.

"I will always be by your side, Chris. I will be watching over you.", you breathe before Chris kisses you again until there is no more reaction from you.

- Chris rests his forehead against yours, clinging to your dead body and crying silently with closed eyes; his face is a mask of pure agony and despair while he grit his teeth; his veins are filling with anger and hatred for what has happened to you; he still can't believe that you are gone, that you have left him just like this, leaving him alone in this crazy, cruel world of living nightmares

- the team is speechless about the whole scene; to see these two lovers getting separated far too early hit all of them; just the medic is able to function, knowing what kind of protocols they have to follow; the medic tries to get Chris away from you but the huge Captain is not moving; so, the three others have to drag him away from you with all the power they can find

- reluctantly, Chris let go of you, standing up with shaking knees; while he tries to catch his breath, his eyes are landing on the suspect who had shot you; before someone of the others can stop him, Chris, feeling like a blank nerve, storms over to him, pushing him up against a wall, beating into the man's face what brings him down to the ground with a bleeding nose and eyebrow; Chris even wants to kick him but the team mates can hold him back, bringing him away so he can cool down somewhere else

- but Chris won't ever cool down again; he promises to himself to use your death as the fuel to keep the fire burning to fight until the last BOW and even Umbrella would have paid for what they had done to you

- You didn't want him to do something reckless but Chris wouldn't do anything reckless, he would be merciless till the moment he would see you again

[hanemiso]

Operation: Dairy For Dazai

>>>a dazai osamu x reader<<<

request: "omg i love your post about Dazai and his possibility of having lactose intolerance hahaha, i wish you could do a fanfic out from that"

a/n: um this is such a great idea??? this was so much fun to write omg i hope y'all like it! also i know dazai doesn't necessarily drink coffee with milk and sugar/creamer, but for the sake of the story he does! also sorry if the gif looks weird, i couldn't find his weird little run anywhere else.

synopsis: no one has seen dazai drink milk or consume dairy of any kind...it's up to the agency to figure out if dazai is lactose intoleralnt or not!

warnings: one swear word, dazai not being able to handle dairy

"hey atsushi, you ever notice that dazai doesn't consume dairy?"

"what do you mean, y/n?" atsushi asks, glancing up at you from the computer.

"think about it. have you ever seen dazai drink milk? eat cheese? buy ice cream?" you press on, raising your brows.

atsushi takes a second to think before responding with, "now that you mention it, no i haven't...why are you asking anyway?"

"i think dazai is lactose intolerant."

you now have atsushi's full attention as he rolls closer to your desk and furrows his brows. he looks around the room for the brunette you're talking about before turning back to you, "you think so? i don't know...maybe it's like a dietary thing."

you deadpan, "you really think the man who goes out of his way to try new attempts at committing suicide--the one who came into the office with a hallucinogenic mushroom from a random mountain--is concerned with his own nutrition?"

atsushi goes silent and nods his head in agreement.

"come on, atsushi. i mean, why would that be the one thing out of his entire diet that he'd choose to cut out?"

"that's true, i've seen the kinds of things he eats...but why is this something you're interested in?"

"because, atsushi, the thought of THE dazai osamu even having one slight weakness--and the fact that it very well may be dairy, of all things-- is amusing. you don't find it interesting? that he can survive things like bullet wounds and getting kidnapped without any problem, but a glass of milk could completely ruin him?"

atsushi was beginning to take interest in what you were talking about. you had a point, he couldn't deny that. they don't know much about dazai and his life as it is. just as it began clicking in his brain, kunikida walks over to your desk to tell you both to get back to work. at the sound of his footsteps, you turn towards him and before he can say anything at all, you ask him the same question as atsushi. kunikida has a smiliar reaction and response to atsushi, which just adds to the curiosity of dazai's possible dairy problem.

"i don't pay attention to that idiot's diet anyway, nor do i care." he says matter-of-factly.

anyone could tell that kunikida was slightly interested, just by the way he was continuing to linger by your desk as you continued talking about it with atsushi. soon enough, tanizaki had joined the conversation; then ranpo and kenji, and soon everyone in the agency other than fukuzawa. everyone was huddled around your desk, sharing memories of dazai's lack of dairy consumption. it was then decided that this theory of dazai being lactose intolerant would be put to the test when dazai returned to the office.

ranpo had come up with the idea, it wasn't too elaborate but a simple plan that could trick even the likes of dazai into drinking a glass of milk. during the discussion of dazai's dietary habits, it was also brought to everyone's attention by kunikida that it seems dazai doesn't have a high spice tolerance either. with that in mind, the plan was for the agency to have a joint dinner tonight, with curry on the menu tonight; spicy curry to be exact. dazai always flirts with you in the office, so it was your job to distract him by indulging in his pick-up lines and such. once he takes a bite and realizes it's too spicy for him, he'd try to find water to alleviate the pain, but coincidentally there is no water in sight. because of this, he'd be forced to drink the glass of milk you hand him. of course, if this didn't work, for dessert you'd give him a cup of coffee with milk and sugar (he uses non-dairy creamer in his coffee anyway).

you and kyouka set up a table to put the bowls of curry on, while atsushi and kunikida began bringing in the curry. tanizaki, naomi, and ranpo were in charge of getting the desserts to really sell the image of a nice gathering. kenji and yosano were in charge of tinkering with the water pipes to close off any possibility of access to water. this task was treated with such care, as any mission brought into the agency would be. each and every one of you were interested in learning about this side of dazai; are you going the extra mile for such a minuscule detail of someone's life? yes, but will it be amusing to find out the truth? also yes.

soon enough, dazai is spotted out the window. the truth is about to be revealed, and you are all nervous but excited.

"remember guys, act natural! operation: dairy for dazai starts now!" you exclaim quietly.

you can hear everyone take a deep breath and begin "talking" amongst themselves as dazai walks in. he stops in his tracks as he eyes the table holding all the bowls of curry and widens his eyes in surprise.

"oh? what's this?" he asks, gesturing to the table.

"y/n suggested having dinner in the agency tonight, so we got some curry and desserts." atsushi explains.

"have a bowl, dazai-kun." you smile at him as you hand him the bowl of spicy curry.

"ah, you're too nice, my belladonna!" he exclaims and grabs the bowl.

so far so good, you think.

you can feel the tension in the room as everyone waits for dazai to take a bite. the conversations carry on amongst people, but no one was truly paying attention to what was being said. the gazes of each member of the agency shifted to dazai as he raised the spoon up to his mouth. you could hear the sound of everyone in the room holding their breaths, even kunikida was sweating.

once the spoon had been placed in his mouth, everyone froze in place. you and atsushi tried to pretend to not be paying much attention to dazai, but it was so hard not to when all of a sudden he stopped chewing. you both slowly turn your head towards him and see his eyes go wide once again. he hurries to the nearest trashcan and spits out the spoonful, quickly turning and looking for a cup of water on the table.

"w-what's wrong, dazai-san?" atsushi asks, also sweating.

"h-hot! spicy curry! atsushi-kun, i need water! please!" dazai exclaims.

you run to the table and pretend to look for a cup of water before grabbing the glass of milk and hurrying towards dazai.

"sorry dazai-kun, i couldn't find any water, but i heard milk helps with the pain!" you hold out the glass of milk.

it feels like time stops as dazai sits there, breathing shallows breaths in attempts to stop the fire in his mouth, and contemplating whether he wants to try his luck with continuing to gasp for air or drinking the milk. he hates suffering, after all. in his mind, all that matters at this moment is extinguishing the flames dancing on his tongue. he grabs the glass, just as planned, and drinks a couple big gulps. everyone is now turned to him, asking if he's okay.

"i'm...fine." he says between pants.

now it was only a matter of time. the dinner continued as normal, but dazai wasn't as social as usual. he sat down with you and atsushi as you continued to talk about different missions.

"oh yeah, dazai-kun, do you remember--" you turn to look at him but realize he's staring at the ground intently as sweat beads on his face, "dazai?"

he blinks once and tries regaining his composure as he looks up at you with his usual smile, "yes, belladonna?"

"are you feeling alright?" you ask with concern laced in your voice.

"of course i am!" dazai tries to reply cheerily, but his bright tone is cut off by a rumbling in his stomach that makes his face twist.

he tries replacing his expression with a smile again, but it looks more pained as another low rumble emits from his body. at this point, everyone in the office is stealing glances. he looks back at the ground as his eyes widen yet again, and only two words are uttered before he takes off running to the bathroom:

"oh shit."

everyone stares at the door, processing what just happened. it was so silent, the only sound you could hear was dazai's rapid footsteps echoing down the hall.

"i knew it." you smirk a bit to yourself.

but your feeling of victory is brief as the horrid smell invades your nostrils. your poor co-workers get assaulted by the same stench, and you all are forced to evacuate.

operation: dairy for dazai was a success, but at what cost?

------------------------------------------

BONUS: how chuuya found out about dazai's lactose intolerance

chuuya was the only person who knew of dazai's problem with dairy, but the way he found out was purely accidental and scarred him.

the event took place when they were 17, and they were both stopping for a drink at a local cafe after a mission. the mission wasn't too bad, but it was early in the morning and chuuya wanted coffee. dazai told him it would stunt his already lacking growth, so chuuya wasn't in the greatest mood; he never was around dazai.

"i wanna sit down so you can order for me!" dazai claps his hands together.

"hey! i don't wan-" chuuya begins to protest but dazai cuts him off while walking away.

"you know what i like!"

chuuya grumbles in annoyance as he heads to the counter and orders two drinks. in his fit of anger, he accidentally ordered two coffees with milk and sugar, but failed to notice as he brought the cups to the table dazai sat at. he narrows his eyes as he sets the cup down in front of dazai and sits across from him. chuuya stares out the window to try and tune out dazai when he hears dazai ask him something quietly.

"is there...milk in this?"

chuuya scoffs and replies, "what's wrong, can't handle a bit of milk?"

he was obviously joking, but the sound that emits from dazai's body in response makes him realize it was no joke. dazai quickly stands and runs to the bathroom while chuuya sits there in disbelief, but with the hope that the rest of the day won't be ruined because of it.

that was wishful thinking though, as they frequently had to stop at public restrooms on their way home and chuuya had to deal with the rancid odor that followed dazai as closely as his own shadow.

taglist: @justmycupoftea93 @loveliestmolly @darlingimawitch @b-i-t-t-i-e-s @browneyespinkhair @silverstar22x @stupidfrogfreak @anotakugardener @jhopesstickeredcarrier @joyfulartisanstudentlamp @spacedoutcoffeebeans @puddingowo66 @kaeyapng @beomluvrr @imobsessedwithskkanditshows

[wandsolsen]

Champagne Problems

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: In which Wanda rejected your marriage proposal, inspired by Taylor Swift's song Champagne Problems.

Warnings: pure angst, cursing.

Word Count: 1.8k

↳ Please, be aware that English isn't my first language, fell free to tell me if there are any mistakes.

You booked the midnight train for a reason, you wanted to contemplate your pain with your head against the train window.

The reason for your suffering had a name, Wanda Maximoff.

You sat down in one of the seats, feeling the hurt in your chest burning hard just for thinking about her. The train wasn't too much crowned, however, it wasn't all empty. There were people talking and people sleeping, you were not sure which was worse.

People looked at you, certainly worried about how miserable you were.

You finally rested your head on the train window, looking at the view from the outside. Unintentionally, you remembered Wanda's hand holding yours as the two of you danced on the dance floor.

Wanda smiled at you, and she looked happy. But she wasn't, at least, not complete. Not happy enough to say yes.

However, nobody could ever have thought that she would say no.

You felt the tears coming out, your mouth trembled as you remembered. Your heart was made of glass and she let it drop it.

You had prepared a speech, but when you got down on your knees, you didn't find the expression of emotion and excitement that you had imagined she would had. Instead, you saw Wanda's body tense and fear in her green eyes.

You were speechless.

She didn't even let you ask, she ran away, leaving you there, on your knees and crestfallen on the dance floor.

You were so broken that you hadn't the strength to reach out to her, Wanda's love escaped beyond your reaches.

You saw the pity look that your family and friends gave to you. You had told them that you were going to propose Wanda that night, you couldn't keep it a secret.

You had bought Dom Pérignon and one of your family members had already popped the bottle in an early celebration, it was humiliating.

"Maybe it's just one of her...What does she call? Oh, yeah," Steve remembered before anyone could answer him. "her champagne problems." Steve was trying to calm you down, but he wasn't succeeding.

Fuck Wanda, you thought, your veins filled with angry. Fuck her and her champagne problems.

But even with all the fury you were feeling, Wanda's picture was still in your wallet along with your mom's ring.

You didn't hate her for leaving, you could never hate her.

You remembered the first time you made Wanda blush, it was in November.

You both met in college, and you thought you were the luckiest person in the world for having Wanda as your roommate. She was organized, friendly and didn't ask too many questions, everything a person could want from a roommate.

"Someone said to me that this door was once a madhouse." You said to her, wanting to make small talk.

"Well, it's made for me." Wanda made a joke, and you chuckled.

"A beautiful and intelligent woman like you in a madhouse? I find it hard to believe."

"Beautiful people do have problems too." Wanda's face was getting flush.

"I know, I know." You said. "I just wanted to praise you because, well, you're definitely one of the most beautiful girls on the campus."

And there it was, Wanda's face all red and her shy smile on her lips. You felt your heart beating faster than usual at that moment.

"So do you?" You continued.

"Do what?"

"Have problems."

"Just champagne problems." She answered.

"Champagne problems?" You asked, with your furrowed eyebrows.

"Yes, nothing meaningful or worth mention," She explained. "when compared to the others issues around the world."

"Well, champagne or not, they're still problems."

She thought about your words for a moment, but didn't say anything. Wanda continued to devalue her own problems, claiming that her issues were insignificant and there were worse things in the world.

Wanda was very reserved in the beginning, it was usually you who started the conversations. It didn't take long for you to fall in love with her.

I mean, how could you not? She was gorgeous and caring. Wanda was kinder than the most people you had ever met. She was a dream girl, with her hair loose and long, her sweet smile and her funny laugh. The way she was always up to help someone in need, and how she tried to empathize with everyone.

Wanda was absolutely flawless.

You only asked her out on a date when you were sure she wouldn't reject you.

Now, seeing from afar, you could see how stupid you were. You should have waited, just kneeling after knowing for sure that she would say yes.

But that's the problem.

You had sure that Wanda would say yes with tears dropping from her eyes. Then, your song would have played, you would have kissed her and held her hand tight while dancing. Your friends would have cheered with joy, and Wanda would have hugged you with a radiant smile on her face.

You let out a breath of pain. You now lived with only wishes. Because she dropped your hand while dancing, instead of holding tight.

Just champagne problems, she would say, about this dramatic situation.

You had a black Chevy that Wanda loved, she enjoyed riding in your car, even if you never go anywhere special. And when the car stopped running and you decided that was time to buy a better one, Wanda didn't let you. Often you saw her on the passenger seat murmuring whatever song was playing on the radio.

Nevertheless, the Chevy wasn't going anywhere. Just like your relationship.

Feeling tired of sitting there in this hurt, you left the train and went to the nearest hotel that you could find, you didn't want to come back home anytime soon.

You lived in a small town, your failed marriage proposal was probably spreading in the mouth of people like a disease.

Your turn on your phone, there were many messages and missed calls from your friends, but no one of them matters to you. Except one.

There was one voicemail from Wanda. Just that. She didn't send you a dozen messages like your friends, just a voicemail.

You set down on the bed, before listening to her voice for the last time.

Hey, Y/N, it's me, Wanda. I think I owed you an apology for leaving you out there standing. I-I can't do this, I'm sorry.

Wanda's voice was trembling, it sounded like she was crying. Why was she crying? She left you, not the other way around.

You didn't know it was possible for your heart to break more, but it did. The sound of her painful voice would haunt you forever.

I really can't give you a reason, I guess I never was ready for commitment. Sometimes you just don't know the answer until someone gets on their knees and asks you, you know?

There was a long pause, so long that you thought the message was over. However, Wanda's voice filled the room again:

You deserve someone better than me, you always had. Someone who is not fucked up in the head like me, someone who will never hurt you like I did. You'll find a real thing out there, she will pick up the pieces of your broken heart and she will patch up your tapestry that I shredded. She will be so perfect that you will not remeber me, or all my champagne problems.

Your vision was blurred because of the tears that fall uncontrollably from your face.

Ours... your friends called, they all are worried about you, please contact them.

There was another long pause.

I lov...

Your heart started to race at the words she was about to say, but Wanda gave up halfway, as if realizing that the words were not true.

Goodbye, Y/N.

And that was it.

Four years of relationship saying goodbye in a voicemail of less than five minutes.

Your throat burned from holding on to crying for so long, you wanted to scream until your vocal cords burst.

You loved her more than anything, and she left as if it were nothing. As if your love meant nothing.

You took the picture of Wanda that was still on your wallet, and tore it into several pieces before throwing it in the trash.

Eventually, the sleep caught you while you were crying in the hotel bed, similar to a friendly hug in the midst of so much pain.

━━━━━━ ᗢ ━━━━━━

You heard that Wanda left town, without looking back, on the same day that she rejected your proposal.

Wanda's sweet perfume was still impregnate, along with your memories with her, in every room of the house that the two of you used to live. You didn't manage to stay there, it didn't take long for you to sell the house and buy an apartment in the city center.

You sold your black Chevy, there was no one around to stop you.

You also sold Wanda's things that she left behind, you didn't want anything to remind you of her. Because after the end of the day, you were still mad at Wanda. For leaving, for didn't give you a good reason, for making your waste four years of your life.

"She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head." That was probably the last thing that someone spoke about Wanda, before another big gossip emerge in your town and they eventually forgot the humiliation that she put you through.

At first, you stayed in your new apartment with your heart broken, just watching futile reality shows and eating junk food. Steve, your best friend, was there all the time giving you emotional support, even though he didn't always know how to say the right thing.

But eventually you had to face reality, after all, you suffering or not, life still went on.

It took two years before you were ready to fall in love again. And two years since you had heard from Wanda, you didn't know about her even on social media, since she had deleted them all.

It was as if Wanda had simply disappeared, little by little, she became a myth in your life, a ghost that haunted you from time to time. Not even your friends and family mentioned her name.

Sometimes you wondered if she really existed, if you haven't invented her in your head.

It was in a bar outside the town, that you met Natasha Romanoff. She was self-confident and carried a death look in her eyes, rigid on the outside, but soft on the inside. She had short red hair and was not very fond of wearing jewellery.

Totally different from Wanda.

Natasha was fun to be around, it was easy to understand her because she was always honest with you.

You started to date her on the very first day of summer. Then, after spending all the four seasons together, you started to carry your mom's ring in your pocket and Natasha's picture in your wallet.

And when you got on your knees, she didn't leave you crestfallen on the dance floor. She said yes, and held your hand tight while dancing.

However, in the end, Wanda was wrong.

You still remeber all her champagne problems.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

seeing someone else.

BISHOP LOSA. MAYANS MC ┃ USEFUL LINKS

❝ request by @encounterthepast: Hello lovely Aurora, can I request angst prompt number 7 with Bishop please, thank you, 💕

❝ prompt: “Don’t you dare to lie to me again”.

❝ request by @arveeee: Hello my dear, so I was thinking, and there is one sentence to that can't go out of my head. So it is: "let me in" with Bishop (I know I'm boring). Well I believe in you, I love you , and I love your writing. Say hello to Arya.

❝ request by anon: Hi, Aurora. I love your writing sm 🥺 I was wondering if I could request an imagine with my man Bishop? I was thinking of something like the reader and him being in kinda like a friends with benefits situation, but she decides to break it offf because she’s really upset. And maybe Bishop doesn’t understand so she eventually explains to him that she wants more out of their relationship and he reassures her they are more and they always have been? Maybe leads to like soft/romantic smut? Thanks so much!

❝ request by @meteora-fc: hello hello! so, that new trailer huh?😵 would absolutely love if you could write me something for a stressed out bishop with the prompts "Stop ignoring me, it’s driving me crazy!" and "Let me help you make it better." Thank you tons!!💖

❝ words: about 1.4k.

❝ a / n: as always, don’t forget to comment and reblog if you liked it!

Another tequila shot goes down your throat, ripping it off as you almost smash the small glass on the table. Tossing your head back as you rest your back against the sofa, sitting on the floor, you take a look around you. The gloomy has taken over your house as the night has fallen a couple of hours ago. It's the fourth night you are trying to forget about Bishop and whatever you two had. But you can't dismiss from your mind his caresses —his fingers drawing patterns on your back, his lips touring your neck with delicate kisses as if he was afraid of breaking your skin, his mustache tickling your inner thighs, his raspy voice articulating your name in moans. It's the fourth night miserably failing, remembering the last time you spent together, the way he was holding his back pretending he wasn't sad because you were leaving him.

“Obispo, it's over. Don't make a big deal. We're just friends who occasionally fucks”. You scoffed somewhat annoyed because of him and his interrogation, but how could you tell him you were falling in love with him?

“I ain't making any deal, (Y/N). I just want to know what made you change your mind and keep a wide berth”.

“I'm seeing someone else”.

"Don't you dare to lie to me”. He growled, taking a step closer towards you with the intention of stopping you from picking up and packing the less stuff you had in his house.

“Think what you want”. You replied, rolling your eyes.

The first tear flows in the left corner of your mouth not appreciably at first, but then, some more until finding yourself crying. You miss him so much. You miss watching him sleep peacefully in the small hours, drifting slightly when you caress his cheek using your fingertips. Flexing your knees to your chest, you wrap your arms around trying to contain the loud sobs, hiding your face between them. How have you been so stupid to fall for him like that? The two of you made it clear from the very first moment. Friends with benefits. But after a couple of weeks, you started to notice that he used to push away any other woman that it wasn't you, he didn't spend much time in the clubhouse preferring to do it in your house —cuddling, watching movies, playing poker; kissing every single inch of flesh covering your anatomy.

Reality hit you the moment he murmured something like you're a miracle, thinking you were calmly sleeping between his strong arms and your back stuck to his chest, no distance among your bodies. You knew it was a thing produced by the alcohol running through your veins and it wasn't fair for you to fantasize about the idea he was catching feelings for you. So you just ran away, like a coward.

Some clumsy knocks on the front door of your house bring you back to reality. At first, you try to ignore them. It's not like you're in the mood for visits, knowing that probably it's Leti at the other side of the place, worried because you haven't replied to her text all day. But she insists and insists. And you know how stubborn she can be sometimes. Serving yourself another shot and drinking it in just one gulp, because you're too sober to endure another of her Ted talks about positivism and what he has lost, you stand up on your bare feet. Everything around you spins dizzyingly for a second until you can react, feeling every knock like a hammer hitting your brain.

“I've heard you the fi—”.

Opening the door to receive her, your vocals get frozen as you face Bishop in a deplorable drunk state. Just like you are.

“Let me in”. He barks, not being able to look at your eyes, trying to pass you away to the inside, but you stop him.

“Go home, Obis—”.

“I'm home, shut the fuck up”. He frowns taking a sip from a bottle of whisky you haven't noticed till now. “You think you can kick my fuckin' ass outta your life by saying you're seeing someone else? You think I'm fuckin' stupid, queri— Were you crying…?”

From anger, his tone of voice falls to one lower and lower, as the concern and the worry cover his annoyance completely. Throwing away his drink to somewhere over the grass of your yard, he holds your face onto his palms. His touch causes you to tremble. His warm touch causes you to break into aching sobs, panting as you can't breathe properly. All this time you've been thinking you have missed him, but you didn't have a real idea of how it feels until his fingers have been laid on your wetted skin.

Bishop comes closer to you, touching the tip of your nose with his. You can smell the mixed scent of cigarettes and whisky emanating from his cracked lips, it doesn't bother you, tho. “Don't kiss me, please”.

Until this precise moment, he has loved your begs and pleads to his bones, but now he hates them more than anything he could ever hate in his life. It breaks his heart. He can't deal with your rejection one night more.

“Why…? Why can't I kiss you?” He asks desperately at the edge of his tears. “Please, stop ignoring me, it's driving me crazy. I can't even take care of my own shit without you by my side”.

Your knees feel weak at his words, still believing he only says that because you're just a good lover, the best in the sheets, as he told you once.

“I… I…” You babble nervously, trying to not place your hands on the laps of his leather kutte to finally push him into the needed kiss you've been craving for the last four days. “I love you”.

And why the confession doesn't take him by surprise? Why doesn't he look confused? Why does it seem like he already knew it? Bishop can't help but draw a fleeting grin across his face.

“Do you think I came here, falling into pieces, just because it feels like being in Heaven when I'm deep inside you?” He whispers, clicking his tongue slightly. “I didn't believe you when you told me you were seeing someone else. But the minimal thought I could have about it made me lose the less sanity I have”.

You blink stupefied at his own confession about his feelings. Your fingers tour his abdomen up in slow motion, starting to have some faith in his words.

“Mi amor…” Bishop mumbles in soft giggles shaking his head. “I adore you, mi amor. I don't want anything else than to share my life with you, and only with you”.

He doesn't wait for a signal from you to kiss your lips, he just takes what it's his. And you can't hold back a painful gasp, expelling in it all the sorrow you've been carrying for the last four days being separated from him. Your hands grip his shirt in two fists, pushing him as much closer as the two of you can be, about to melt in the same figure. All this time you have been trying to not love him, to forget him; and you were just delaying the inevitable. You are made for each other, that's a fact. Your lips fit to perfection —your bodies, your hearts.

“Tell me you love me”. You whimper against his mouth, causing him to smile because of your need of making it real by these simple three words.

“Love isn't enough to express what you make me feel”.

Bishop bends down without prior notice to wrap his huge hands on the back of your thighs, urging you to jump onto him and surround his waist with your legs. You haven't forgotten how good his warmth takes over you when he holds you like that, walking inside your house and kicking the door close. Guiding his steps across your place and its hallways, he reaches your dark dorm barely illuminated by a post light outdoors. He lies you down on your bed —a bed that has welcomed you for the last eight months in every kind of state. Drunk, tired, happy.

Now, you're a mix of them. Drunk in tequila, tired of crying, but happy for having him back for the rest of your life.

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @Jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95 @megapeacelovemusic-blog @katsav17 @skits90s @wildsould1221 @littlekittymeow @tenderclio @badame1240 @regalbanshee @greeneyedblondie44 @phoenixhalliwell @codenamewife

MAYANS MC: @multiyfandomgirl40 @countryash345 @skyofficialxx @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @bellisperennis0 @chibsytelford @trulysuccubus @purrrrfect @witching-hour @leathercladmenfics @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @queenbeered @sesamepancakes @gemini0410 @pinguinstudiert @oscars-wifeyyy @meteora-fc @lozaa94 @arveee @joupym @hanster1998 @missswritings @arana-alpha

[syubub]

What makes BTS most vulnerable

Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!

I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.

Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!

So so so so

First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!

Let's start with the group first

So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.

All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?

I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.

The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)

Seokjin

This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.

As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.

As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.

What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)

Yoongi

????

Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?

Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?

Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.

As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.

Hoseok

This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.

And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.

This exposes him to depression and doubt.

Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.

Namjoon

Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.

So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.

So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?

Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?

As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.

As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.

Jimin

Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.

How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.

As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.

Taehyung

Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.

As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.

Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.

Jungkook

So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.

How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.

The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.

Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.

With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.

The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?

For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?

As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!

~~~~~~~

I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?

My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!

[swordofpevensie]

Random Peter Pevensie Headcanons

warnings: peter x you (i'm trying to say these include love), england!peter, fluff.

a/n: omg i haven't written anything for so long. i miss my baby, so there are some headcanons for you. hope you like them! gifs are mine, they are from the movie the little mermaid (2018). he looks fine. ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

• Tease, tease, tease. Peter likes to tease you and watch your reaction. He doesn't do extra things to tease you though. He just reads your favorite book on purpose and makes sure that you see him reading it, or he wears the shirt you like, again making sure you see him. If you mentioned your favorite colour is green, then he'll probably wear something green and will make sure that you notice him. He likes showing that he is interested in you and thinks it is the best way to let you know he listens to you and cares everything you say.

• He is the big spoon. But sometimes, if he feels really bad, he lets you hug him. You two just lay down there and even if you don't say anything, he feels better in time. Your existence, slow heartbeats, silent breaths, fingers caressing his hair; they are enough to make him feel good again.

• He has this habit of always checking how you feel, what you do, if you are comfortable. He casually asks if you dried your hair, took your jacket, locked the door before leaving your house, or brought your book. You generally like it but sometimes when you feel overwhelmed, you tell him stop worrying because you can take care of yourself. He says he won't ask again but he can't help it. He sometimes blushes after realizing he did it again, but you can't be angry at him anymore, because he is so cute.

• His favorite date activity is taking you to drive-in theathers. He enjoys watching movies, he feels like he leaves reality. And watching movies with you in his car that he absolutely adores? It is perfect. His hand is on your shoulder most of the time. He kisses your cheek randomly. And he forgets about the movie when you react with your body language while watching. He likes watching your facial expressions changing in a second according to the incidents in the movie. He ends up looking at you, with a soft smile on his face. Sometimes you see his eyes on you, you look at him. You say “What?” while frowning. He shrugs his shoulders and says “Nothing.” If you ask again, he puts his fingers to your chin and makes you turn your head to the screen. “We are here to enjoy the movie, sweetheart.” He says, then kisses your cheek. You let it go, really. It can be hard to keep up with him.

• Because he is an energetic person. You never understand how he can be so lively and quick. He doesn't like sitting. He must do something. He keeps learning new physcial things to spend time. He works in the neighbours' gardens on his free times. Or one day you find him in the harbour, helping the sailors carry whatever they've brought. He has a widowed neighbour, and he helps her by babysitting her twins. He enjoys doing those things. He never complains. As long as he helps others somehow, he never complains. And you love him for that, very much. He is such a selfless, giving person that it sometimes makes you emotional and angry at the same time. You scold him, telling that he must take care of himself too. He smiles at you, says, “I have you, it's fine.”

• He doesn't take care of himself that much, yes, he is aware of that, because you are there to do it. You don't even realize what you are doing but Peter does. He knows and sees everything you do for him and he is beyond grateful. He likes it when you bring food to him and people in the harbour. He likes it when you knit tiny cardigans for the twins. He likes that you buy presents for his siblings from every new place you visit. When you iron his clothes, tidy his hair, fill his glass of water on his desk, bring him tea while he is studying, help him tie up, he melts. He loves how kind and caring you are.

• When you are at home at night, drinking something and sitting (he finally manages to sit down because no matter how hard he denies, in the end he is tired), he tells you stories. You don't know how he knows such stories or how he comes up with them, but they are magical and you enjoy listening. You feel like you leave this world, visit and explore a new universe. You like the way he tells the stories. He says, “I learned from a friend of mine, however I am never as skilled as her.” when you mention it.

• He is a good dancer. When you are invited somewhere, he attracts attention with his moves. But he is too busy with looking at you, talking with you and just holding you in his arms, so he doesn't really care, or even notice others. If you haven't seen each other before the invitation, he casually talks with you about his day. He asks you about yours too, and always listens carefully.

• After the party is over, you and he walk together in the streets, sometimes holding hands, sometimes running, or playing. Some people look at you with judgement and disapproval, meanwhile some people smile when they see you two are completely in love. When you arrive at home, your heels are on your hand, you both are breathing heavily but never stop laughing. Sometimes you do, yet when you look at each other, you start laughing again, for no reason at all.

• He always makes sure that he gets his goodbye kiss. It can be very hard to leave you and go back to home for him. He just wants to stay and spend the night with you. After many kisses he steals, he can finally leave. He walks home with a soft smile on his face. He feels ensorcelled and so in love.

[stingray-sins]

[ Part I here ]

Somewhere only we know... tw: teens been teens

Part II

The Girls were huddled together leaning on top of each other so they could admire the school gymnasium. It wasn't just any day in March, it was the first week of March and the cherry trees were blooming this late spring. The reason was key: The graduation ceremony for the high school teens.

─"Come on ‘Cesca, walk faster we are going to lose the front row!" ─She shook the purple-haired girl to join the crowd of girls who waited with a respective bouquet of flowers to those of higher levels.

─"I don't understand what is special about a graduation, they come and go, how much emotion to see them leave? I would be grateful to leave once and for all" ─Francesca maintained, taking clumsy steps as she tried to walk faster─ "Besides, why are you making me carry these flowers?"

The taller girl stopped short right infront of Francesca to get closer to her face as she covered her mouth in a whisper symbol.

─"The bouquet of flowers has a symbol of gratitude to our superior classmates who have given us support and security during our stay at school..." ─she glanced sideways as adults passed by, probably in as part of a faculty student tutor and then returned to her flirty habitual attitude more mischievous. ─"The bouquet of flowers is an excuse to approach the boy you like and ask him for his Daini button 'Cesca… How long have you been here now?"

─"A year and a half? Wait, his Da- what?"

─"More than enough," ─the girl laughed as she pushed a curious purple-haired girl into the central courtyard. Inside the Gymnasium there was a precise number of parents talking with their children and guests, some were taking photos and others were arranging the last moments of the uniform on that student who was about to leave, but among all the crowds some familiar faces stood out. Holly held a camera in her hands while she begged her husband for one more photo with their "little boy" who did nothing but ignore her, The youngest of the group was stunned by the great tumult of people gathered that special day, but he returned to lose his attention when he felt his mother's camera flash on him.

The red-haired boy lay seated, he did not have a school uniform as usual but a more loose clothing that would help him not feel so uncomfortable in that wheelchair.

─"You know Jotaro, all these events always seemed like a waste of time to me from an early age..."

─"I could say the same" ─he said in a tired voice and somewhat mentally ashamed by the loud pleas of his mother in the background.

─"But I can't help but feel excited about this day" ─He looked up to meet the taller boy's blue-ish eyes. ─"You know, it would have been an honor to have graduated this year with you." ─The black-haired man placed his hand on Noriaki's left shoulder, patting it gently in agreemen─ "…And rest assured that next year the feeling will be the other way around."

Kakyoin was a bit surprised to hear Jotaro's words for a moment but seeing him smile subtly elicited a response with the same smile, they knew everything they had been through and it was not minor. What he appreciated the most was being able to be enjoying that moment, that second chance. Behind them were heard quite loud screams of girls holding flowers for the tallest, this time the discussion was who had the largest and most colorful bouquet of flowers that was worthy for that man. Holly was delighted with so many girls in the place, she without a doubt knew that her son was one of those who always shone wherever he was but witnessing it was quite fun for both parents and especially for the little one who went through the same steps.

─"I see we have company" ─Kakyoin laughed without turning his chair at all without waiting for a response from Jotaro other than a big heavy sigh expressing all his discontent with the voices of the girls─ "Speaking of Girls… Do you know anything about ‘Cesca? I thought she would be with us this day."

─"I haven't seen her since the morning, first thing in the morning I heard the bell and I immediately ruled out the possibility of another guest upon hearing those high-pitched voices asking about 'Cesca and dragging her to school leaving her breakfast half eaten in furniture at the entrance of the house."

─"After all, she adapted quite well to a culture totally unknown to her" ─Kakyoin smiled, seeing Francesca in the distance being dragged to the gym.

─"I suppose so" ─the black-haired man stopped his answer as he observed the same thing as his red-haired companion, it made him a bit of noise to see her holding a bouquet of flowers while arguing with her level friend, it was not that it bothered him that she was participating in the graduation if not that he knew exactly that the girls of her age by holding a bouquet of flowers fully meant a reason to get close to who he liked but his question was, was that really the reason? A strange start in his chest brought him back to earth.

─"Highly strung?" ─Noriaki returned a satisfactory smile as he focused on the dislocated face of his partner, he knew from first source that he was a boy focused on his thoughts and it was not easy to get any expression or direct emotion out of him but there were acts that fully indicated what his mind was going through and this time it was the dilation of her pupils when she saw that bouquet of flowers on the girl's arm.

─"Not at all" ─Jotaro growled, returning his hands to his pockets as he adopted a more rude posture. ─"Let's go for her if you want."

He instinctively placed both hands on his friend's chair, gently pushing the chair, like never before. Fast memories flashed through his head of how recovery had been for the red-haired boy, she still felt guilty about not being there at the right time and once again felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.

─"Noriaki!" ─Francesca shouted excitedly as she quickly approached the boys while still holding the bouquet of flowers. ─"I thought you weren't coming today..."

─"And here I am"─he gave a sincere smile as he looked up. ─"I was impressed that you participated in the flower delivery this year, from what I see you have someone in your sights, huh?"

─"In sight?" ─Francesca raised her eyes in curiosity and then directed her to the flowers and let out a laugh─ "I really don't understand very well about delivering flowers, I'm just accompanying..."

At that precise moment the companion of the purple-haired girl came out from behind her, she had bright eyes and clung the flowers to her chest more. Without a doubt, she did not expect to be face to face with the black-haired boy and despite having a disinterested attitude she still brought I get his second uniform button. she bowed slightly to Jotaro handing over the flowers as a symbol of offering while she closed her eyes asking for his second button.

─"My second button?" ─Jotaro asked as he looked down to see the girl leaning towards him. ─"I have not the slightest interest in that silly tradition, save the flowers, they can serve you for another boy yet."

While in the distance an army of girls was heard surrounding both of them between shouts and threats of who had the most perfect bouquet of flowers. Francesca was leaning on Kakyoin's chair still with the flowers in her hand.

─"What's that "second button" Kakyoin?"

─"I thought they had explained to you since you carried the flowers for the tradition, 'Cesca" ─Noriaki laughed as he turned the wheelchair a little to be able to look at her in a better way when talking ─"Daini button is a very old tradition in Japan, it turns out that it happens in every high school graduation ceremony in which a boy presents his second uniform button to the girl in the form of a confession of love and admiration. It is said that its origin dates back to the ancient military who gave that button to their partner and / or lover as a symbol of pure and lasting love, and it should be the second position that in this way their uniform would not open and it would not look messy when serve... Although I like the story more that the second button is awarded because it is the one that is closest to the boy's heart, both stories have the same meaning at the end of the day."

─"I must confess that I adore the traditions of this culture, it suits me quite well despite not being fully aware of it" ─Francesca laughed in the same way as she looked again at the bouquet of flowers in her arms. She didn't even know what she was holding that bouquet of flowers for, in a year and a half she didn't know anyone enough to offer it in exchange for a button.

From the group of people a group of boys appeared, the one who was leading without a doubt attracted attention. His combed hair and his perfectly fitted uniform with a cloth faithfully tied to his right arm only hinted at being from the school board. He locked eyes with the lower one, smirked as he placed his left hand on her chest to remove the second button from him and place it in the girl's hands.

─"I was looking for you, my dear Kohai" ─he stared into her eyes while she did not know how to react to such a random event, the boy was quite popular with many people and that he chose Francesca among many others was only to raise his status with a foreigner─ "When the day is over I would like to exchange a few words with you."

That said, he removed a couple of flowers from the purple-haired bouquet and cut them to make a nice ornament in her hair, leaving the place with the utmost delicacy of a school president. Francesca didn't understand a single thing that just passed but it was evident that her face was taking on stronger shades of red. Kakyoin had been left blank with that event but he didn't care about that at all, beyond the boy and the reaction of 'Cesca about it, he was looking at the reaction of his friend. He was still surrounded by girls but his attention went directly to them, again the same look with his dilated pupils this time clenching his fists marking his knuckles tightly.

─"Do you know that boy ‘Cesca?" ─Asked Noriaki without taking his eyes off his friend subtly.

─"Know him? The truth…" ─she didn't know how to explain it, it was something so surprising that she couldn't even think the words right─ "He was in charge of teaching me school my first days here, don't misinterpret me, Daisuke is a very kind and attentive boy and from the On the first day he mentioned that he could call him Senpai" ─ she took a brief silence when he saw that the black-haired man was walking briskly towards them─ "you know, Jotaro never waited for me in the mornings to walk to class and many times I ended up getting lost in dead ends... Daisuke... He offered to help me but I never expected it to end this way."

─"I understand" ─Kakyoin sighed as he tried to lighten the heavy atmosphere that had remained, and that was going to remain for the rest of the day. ─"Jotaro, I suppose the students should enter... the sooner the better, right?"─But Jotaro did not take Noriaki's words into account, he knew perfectly what he was trying to do but he couldn't get the other out of his gaze, pointing to 'Cesca, specifically the flowers in her hair, in a very rude way he released some weighty words.

─"Take that off, you look... ridiculous." ─His gaze defied the crystalline gaze of the girl who was not going to give her arm to twist so easily.

─Come and take them from me, coward" ─she said that as she turned around entering the establishment, the red-haired boy sighed while the taller one returned to put his hands in both pockets.

─"It can always be always worse"

The ceremony had been quite emotional for many, boring for others but it had concluded in the best way, each student had in mind what awaited them in their future, The families would meet again and go home as it should be to have a small celebration with their recent graduate and after that they were finally free for the day, or the night as the sun was setting. The trio was sitting on the same bench as always looking at the stream that did not offer much. Noriaki for his part did not leave his chair and gave him the facility to get closer to the limit of the paved street and the stream, Francesca lay sitting with a half-drunk beer while admiring the button that had been given to her in the afternoon and Jotaro did not even He'd had his beer, he was just sitting staring at the creek meditating the whole fucking day.

─"What are you planning to do now Jojo?" ─The purple-haired girl took him out of her thoughts again, who left the button next to her to sit comfortably leaning on her legs. ─ "Are you planning to stay studying here or leave?"

─"Leaving sounds more ideal with what I intend to study" ─he blurted out softly without looking at her, he felt strange, all that day he had felt strange and he didn't know what was the reason for his stomach ache. He had defied more intimidating people, received deep wounds and now he could not be reassured only by an unfamiliar anxiety.

─"It's nice to hear you decided with your ideal… I still don't know what I intend to do in the near future" ─she looked at him for a good moment while she smiled warmly─ "but at the same time I must be frank with you; It will be sad not to see you at home anymore..."

Jotaro looked down with an air of surprise, Francesca inspired a serenity in her words as well as sincerity. He was so confused mentally that he couldn't find words to answer, perhaps it was true after all that that day he had been uncomfortable seeing her differently, and perhaps he had been holding back the feeling for too long.

─"I suppose" ─he blurted into the air to direct his gaze but he felt that he was slipping more and more to have her close to him, he felt awkward for the first time in his life, dazed and excited but there was no objection from them both.

Offering his left hand to the smaller one took it gently and that was what powered him to get closer to her and end the action with a kiss, subtle and without much experience. After a few seconds they separated without having anything to say, it was something totally out of the ordinary. Jotaro looked away indecisively as Francesca placed her free hand covering her lips.

─" was thinking..." ─Noriaki mentioned aloud as he turned his chair to look at them but meeting that surprising kiss made him turn to the stream once more, he covered his mouth with his right hand while letting out a subtle laugh─ "it was about time... I just have to do you the last favor" ─he said to himself as Hierophant Green made his appearance like tentacles crawling on the ground to take that button that Francesca had left aside on the seat and bring it to him─ "I'm sorry my dear bud, but it's not you, it's them."

That said, he threw the button that shone with the contrast of the light to the stream to observe how it went with the stream, he was not going to leave at all but he was going to grant that quality time to his friends. Something obvious a long time ago but he was going to have all the patience to wait just as they had with him in the hospital.

The kisses were concealed but continuous, each parting to regain air was a silly smile from the pair to make awkward movements such as combing the other's hair, fixing the uniform, brushing the index finger over his heated opposite cheek. Jotaro took her small hands to open them and deposit the second button of his uniform in those.

─"I thought you found the tradition silly" ─Francesca celebrated as she squeezed her hand, holding it gently to her breast.

─"And I keep thinking about it, but I know you like it that way." ─He smiled serenely, still sitting on that bench, that anxiety and stomach pain had disappeared, he could feel full and reciprocated. Francesca for the part of her couldn't stop smiling. It was something totally new for both of them, a feeling of happiness after a haunting nightmare.

─"Can I speak to you again? Or should I still pretend that I haven't seen anything?" ─ Kakyoin raised his voice and made them both start and separate taking their respective drinks while looking at different parts of the landscape. As he approached the most exalted was the purple-haired one who, taking both beers, announced that he would go to deposit them in the nearest garbage can, clearly hiding her embarrassed face.

Standing close to his partner and friend he let out a couple of laughs as he only hid his face under his hat, he watched the girl from a distance and it was he who this time placed a hand on the left shoulder of his embarrassed but happy friend.

─"I see it wasn't a bad day after all, you lost that tired look in your eyes and you even lost your second button. It is impressive how a mere impulse can change a person's mood but my question is Jojo: "

What do you expect from this now?

The question bounced in every corner of his thoughts that night, was he happy? Was he blissful? worried? Was he... scared? He got up from his bed taking a deep breath to rub his right hand over his face. He did not expect his impulse to be reciprocated, he was expecting a possible rejection and now it was accelerated, there was no co-relationship between his mind and his heart in those moments and it was what overwhelmed him. Placing both feet off his bed she looked around him, his room lying completely dark and only a beam of light reflected a couple of magazines on his study table. More than magazines, college brochures.

He got up slowly to go to the kitchen, late at night the only thing he could hear was his footsteps on that cold old wood that he had for a floor that squeaked step by step. Opening the refrigerator door he looked for something to drink while he leaned on the kitchen counter looking at the liquid that was inside the container.

─" Did your insomnia return?" ─He raised his head while Francesca walked to the kitchen anyway, her attitude was more relaxed than usual and she sounded even more calm and pleasant than other times─ "do you mind if I accompany you?"

He nodded as she positioned herself close to him leaning on a large counter, neither of them said a word and a little discomfort was noted in the position that the black-haired man had, his breathing was more agitated and she could predict it with the liquid inside the container.

─"Did you regret what happened this afternoon?" ─She sighed without looking at him, she had both arms crossed and her gaze was still focused on the kitchen window. ─"You don't need to worry about that Jojo, it's understandable that it was a mere impulse of the moment and..."

─"I'm not" ─he mentioned abruptly as he left the semi-empty container on the counter and took the girl's hand again abruptly to have her face to face, without saying more, they both found their faces again while a more intense kiss took hold of them. the situation, something more heated when brushing their bodies and emitting subtle moans when pressing each other. A carnal desire awoke them both together with the pleasure of rubbing themselves, feeling a distinctly new experience... When he separated for a moment from the girl, she lay sitting on the counter with both legs open and breathing agitatedly, for her part she could not say much since she was the same and even uncomfortable with those pajama pants that imprisoned him. As he approached again, the question returned to his mind

"What do you expect from this now?" and opening his eyes surprisingly, a ghostly hand took Francesca away, who did not fall to the ground just by clinging to said hand. Doubts returned to his head, but he in turn wanted to enjoy the moment that his heart desired, why not allow himself to be happy one night without worrying about tomorrow?

─"What was that?" ─Francesca got up while trying to regulate her breathing and fixed her pajamas─ "What's going on in your head?" ─Leaning on the counter, he looked at the kitchen floor in shock, still trying to catch the air─ "You don't need to hide your thoughts with me, I just want you to be honest with me."

─"Shut up!" ─he screamed and Francesca opened her eyes wide and then closed her mouth slowly but not completely, no words came from her but she couldn't stop looking into her eyes while she was against the light─ "Sincerity ? Sincerity is that this would not work, not for months or for the rest of the duration of this feeling, you understand?" ─His words were increasingly harsh and his voice was breaking more and more─ "In a couple of days I will go away, you will still be here... our destinies do not cross at any time and even if it were the case, there is no full possibility that this it works so... let's forget this, you have a great future ahead of you rather than waiting for one that will never come."

She had taken the words out of the girl's mouth, without a doubt words sometimes hurt more than a simple kick and this moment indicated it as such. She followed him with her gaze, watching his large back disappear into the darkness, the fact that he had faced the issue did not hurt so much, but it hurt her to understand it and know that it was not really going to work as he thought at one point when he was on that bench.

─"I would have preferred the excuse of your virginity a thousand times, Jojo" ─she tried to take it with humor while hiding the pain in her eyes, she walked towards the dark corridor pressing her hand on her chest, releasing her last words with a hopeless and surrendered voice-─ "but I totally understand your decision... I just want to know one last question, was the feeling reciprocated?"

Jotaro was sitting on the floor of his room, he was looking at the ceiling as if it were giving him the answers he needed at that moment but he did not say anything and he could feel the silence of the girl once more that she finished him off. break.

"Good night, Jojo and have a good trip."

he hid her head once more in his arms without abandoning the position that held his stomach, the moonlight this time shining on him and she knew that at least that night he would not touch his bed. He didn't want to sleep, didn't want to close his eyes; everything was a torment in his head but he only let out a sentence in all that remained of the night.

─"If it was reciprocated and I waited for it... more than a year ago"

[To be continue...->)