#because they're so very different. and i need marvel to get with it

[dispatched]

something about so many of frank's stories (inc. the mcu and the comics, i.e. big nothing, do not fall in new york city, man of stone, valley forge valley forge) being centered around military / right wing conspiracies and also around betrayal by brothers in arms or w/e, just hits so right.

and yeah frank is 100% the most inconsistently written character in comics (or up there pls dont come for me i only have punisher comic autism) but also so much of his arc being centered around his sense of honor (much different than being GoodTM lmao) and patriotism being corrupted... is. good.

and it's why i simply cannot agree with 1.) anything that remotely resembles the ending of the punisher season 2 because while frank absolutely deals with crime of all sorts, that scene is fucking rancid and racist and ignores so much of who frank inherently is and 2.) hardcore bootlicking frank. like he is absolutely a white military vet who has probably never voted in his life/has avoided 'politics', who very willingly enlisted in the military pre-9/11, and he absolutely has active unlearning to do (and he does), but also i just. can't.

and also i just want to take a bite out of the slow but sure decay of frank's sense of honor and code... it's so very scrumptious.

[5ummit]

AO3 Ship Stats: Year In Bad Data

You may have seen this AO3 Year In Review.

It hasn’t crossed my tumblr dash but it sure is circulating on twitter with 3.5M views, 10K likes, 17K retweets and counting. Normally this would be great! I love data and charts and comparisons!

Except this data is GARBAGE and belongs in the TRASH.

I first noticed something fishy when I realized that Steve/Bucky – the 5th largest ship on AO3 by total fic count – wasn’t on this Top 100 list anywhere. I know Marvel’s popularity has fallen in recent years, but not that much. Especially considering some of the other ships that made it on the list. You mean to tell me a femslash HP ship (Mary MacDonald/Lily Potter) in which one half of the pairing was so minor I had to look up her name because she was only mentioned once in a single flashback scene beat fandom juggernaut Stucky? I call bullshit.

Now obviously jumping to conclusions based on gut instinct alone is horrible practice... but it is a good place to start. So let’s look at the actual numbers and discover why this entire dataset sits on a throne of lies.

Here are the results of filtering the Steve/Bucky tag for all works created between Jan 1, 2023 and Dec 31, 2023:

Not only would that place Steve/Bucky at #23 on this list, if the other counts are correct (hint: they're not), it’s also well above the 1520-new-work cutoff of the #100 spot. So how the fuck is it not on the list? Let’s check out the author’s FAQ to see if there’s some important factor we’re missing.

The first thing you’ll probably notice in the FAQ is that the data is being scraped from publicly available works. That means anything privated and only accessible to logged-in users isn’t counted. This is Sin #1. Already the data is inaccurate because we’re not actually counting all of the published fics, but the bots needed to do data collection on this scale can't easily scrape privated fics so I kinda get it. We’ll roll with this for now and see if it at least makes the numbers make more sense:

Nope. Logging out only reduced the total by a couple hundred. Even if one were to choose the most restrictive possible definition of "new works" and filter out all crossovers and incomplete fics, Steve/Bucky would still have a yearly total of 2,305. Yet the list claims their total is somewhere below 1,500? What the fuck is going on here?

Let’s look at another ship for comparison. This time one that’s very recent and popular enough to make it on the list so we have an actual reference value for comparison: Nick/Charlie (Heartstopper). According to the list, this ship sits at #34 this year with a total of 2630 new works. But what’s AO3 say?

Off by a hundred or so but the values are much closer at least!

If we dig further into the FAQ though we discover Sin #2 (and the most egregious): the counting method. The yearly fic counts are NOT determined by filtering for a certain time period, they’re determined by simply taking a snapshot of the total number of fics in a ship tag at the end of the year and subtracting the previous end-of-year total. For example, if you check a ship tag on Jan 1, 2023 and it has 10,000 fics and check it again on Jan 1, 2024 and it now has 12,000 fics, the difference (2,000) would be the number of "new works" on this chart.

At first glance this subtraction method might seem like a perfectly valid way to count fics, and it’s certainly the easiest way, but it can and did have major consequences to the point of making the entire dataset functionally meaningless. Why? If any older works are deleted or privated, every single one of those will be subtracted from the current year fic count. And to make the problem even worse, beginning at the end of last year there was a big scare about AI scraping fics from AO3, which caused hundreds, if not thousands, of users to lock down their fics or delete them.

The magnitude of this fuck up may not be immediately obvious so let’s look at an example to see how this works in practice.

Say we have two ships. Ship A is more than a decade old with a large fanbase. Ship B is only a couple years old but gaining traction. On Jan 1, 2023, Ship A had a catalog of 50,000 fics and ship B had 5,000. Both ships have 3,000 new works published in 2023. However, 4% of the older works in each fandom were either privated or deleted during that same time (this percentage is was just chosen to make the math easy but it’s close to reality).

Ship A: 50,000 x 4% = 2,000 removed works Ship B: 5,000 x 4% = 200 removed works

Ship A: 3,000 - 2,000 = 1,000 "new" works Ship B: 3,000 - 200 = 2,800 "new" works

This gives Ship A a net gain of 1,000 and Ship B a net gain of 2,800 despite both fandoms producing the exact same number of new works that year. And neither one of these reported counts are the actual new works count (3,000). THIS explains the drastic difference in ranking between a ship like Steve/Bucky and Nick/Charlie.

How is this a useful measure of anything? You can't draw any conclusions about the current size and popularity of a fandom based on this data.

With this system, not only is the reported "new works" count incorrect, the older, larger fandom will always be punished and it’s count disproportionately reduced simply for the sin of being an older, larger fandom. This example doesn’t even take into account that people are going to be way more likely to delete an old fic they're no longer proud of in a fandom they no longer care about than a fic that was just written, so the deletion percentage for the older fandom should theoretically be even larger in comparison.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the author of this "study" KNEW the data was tainted and chose to present it as meaningful anyway. You will only find this if you click through to the FAQ and read about the author’s methodology, something 99.99% of people will NOT do (and even those who do may not understand the true significance of this problem):

The author may try to argue their post states that the tags "which had the greatest gain in total public fanworks” are shown on the chart, which makes it not a lie, but a error on the viewer’s part in not interpreting their data correctly. This is bullshit. Their chart CLEARLY titles the fic count column “New Works” which it explicitly is NOT, by their own admission! It should be titled “Net Gain in Works” or something similar.

Even if it were correctly titled though, the general public would not understand the difference, would interpret the numbers as new works anyway (because net gain is functionally meaningless as we've just discovered), and would base conclusions on their incorrect assumptions. There’s no getting around that… other than doing the counts correctly in the first place. This would be a much larger task but I strongly believe you shouldn’t take on a project like this if you can’t do it right.

To sum up, just because someone put a lot of work into gathering data and making a nice color-coded chart, doesn’t mean the data is GOOD or VALUABLE.

[crawley-fell]

Please god please HOW WAS MACBETH

Okay bestie lets get into it!! Obvs it's...literally Macbeth lol so I doubt i'm spoiling the plot for anyone here however if anyone reading this does have tickets and doesn't want to know anything about staging etc i suggest u avert your eyes now

Anon babes it was marvellous. David was so commanding?? he's built like a string bean but when he was up on stage he looked BIG and powerful. The character development was so nuanced, the descent into madness was manic and chaotic but eventually steady and calm - he literally snapped a little boys neck with his bare hands in the battle scene it was gruesome. I've seen one too many productions of Macbeth where its pretty much all pinned on Lady Macbeth being the brains behind the operation but it was very obvious from the start of this production that Macbeth had plenty of malicious thoughts and intentions of his own. He needed a little bit of convincing from LM but obviously your average person cannot be coerced into murder lol this man was out for blood from the START. Cush Jumbo was DIVINE and the perfect enabler, their chemistry was spicy and sensual and I loved it. They changed the script so that LM visits Lady MacDuff before the latter is murdered and its sooo good it makes Lady Macbeth so much more 3 dimensional rather than the usual evil witchy woman, it makes her human and Jumbo portrays her beautifully. It really was exciting for the production to be so intimate. The Donmar is a LOVELY black box theatre not many seats at all so you're very close to the action. This is my 5th time seeing DT on stage (prev. Much Ado About Nothing, Richard II, Don Juan in Soho & Good) and they've all been at big venues so it felt very different. The use of headphones was soooo good and it helped them keep the pace of the show (it was 1hr50 with no interval). Rather than dramatic asides like in the script the actors could whisper and it was RIGHT in your ear which made it feel very personal and dark like you were really in the character's heads. You never saw any of the visions (the dagger, the witches, banquo's ghost) which is how i always prefer it to be portrayed personally because you know... they're not actually there this man is just guilty AF and losing his grasp on reality!! But the sound effects they used in these moments were verrrry good and helped set the scene, lots of spooky music and sounds of screaming and whispering etc. And just generally through out the production you heard every. single. word. because of the headphones which was just delicious.

Final note because when u came into my inbox u were probably just expecting a simple 'yeah i really enjoyed it!!' and instead i've written a mini essay BUT in the battle scene at the end David really did win the award for most agile man in his 50s, he head-butt like 4 people and i was like...damn boy can u come over and fight me some time

[leclerc-s]

wait, there's another one of you?

series masterlist

isabellaperez posted new stories

this booger picked me up from the airport and then decided to mock me for buying food at the airport. little outfit change because it's not hoodie season in mexico. i ditched the booger and picked up my comfort food. no i will not be sharing, they're all mine.

lando norris someone want to explain to me who the guy in isabella's story is?

isabella perez my fucking brother? gael? dulce perez it's our brother.

charles leclerc wait, there's another one of you??

max verstappen how do you people not know this?

mae jones i didn't know...

daphne jones i did know, nice kid. i don't know how he's related to isabella.

sebastian vettel he used to come to races all the time, and then their dad died and he stopped coming.

dulce perez we all bonded with dad over f1. it was harder for gael because he was karting when dad passed. he gave up on the sport after that.

isabella perez haven't you heard, he's a big shot actor now. HE WORKED WITH THE SEBASTIAN STAN!!

penelope trevino your taste in men needs to be studied. under a microscope. isabella perez i don't really have a crush on sebastian stan. i have a crush on bucky barnes. it's very different. penelope trevino oh yeah, that makes so much sense.

max verstappen the worst thing is that he's a ferrari fan too 🙄

isabella perez HELL YEAH! FORZA FERRARI BABY!

charles leclerc LET'S GO!!

lewis hamilton i will never understand how checo's own blood aren't red bull fans.

dulce perez he was a ferrari academy driver with jules. it's practically in our blood to be tifosi. i just like to support my uncle, the other two are heathens.

isabella perez WE CAN SUPPORT UNCLE CHECO AND SUPPORT FERRARI AT THE SAME TIME DULCE!

esteban ocon we have to meet this guy!

lance stroll when can we meet him? carlos sainz are we allowed to meet him? dulce perez never. my brother will not be tainted by you nerds.

rowan todd listen, i understand the boys, but seeing as we work together with marvel. good luck keeping me away from him.

rowan todd wait-

rowan todd in the sense that, we're going to become besties. work besties if you will.

lance stroll pierre just let out a sigh of relief.

pierre gasly do you know how to shut the fuck up? if so, please do so. lance stroll why would i when you're so easy to tease?

max verstappen you have to bring him to a race soon. it's only fair! i will turn him into a red bull fan.

isabella perez listen, uncle checo driving for red bull is temporary, however long that may last, but ferrari is forever. you just have to deal with this max, uncle checo does.

carlos sainz max is just surrounded by tifosi isn't he?

max verstappen oh shut up carlos.

carlos sainz is the little one still a huge charles fan?

daniel ricciardo he called my move to mclaren the worst mistake of my life. daniel ricciardo he's also a little shit. but we love him max verstappen NO! YOU LOVE HIM! i tolerate him at best.

fernando alonso when you say patito, you don't mean pato o'ward, do you?

isabella perez i do! they were best friends growing up!

dulce perez wow, you are dumb.

isabella perez WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN??

dulce perez ask gael. maybe he'll answer the question.

lando norris someone could be in love with her and she would never notice.

daniel ricciardo i can't wait for the day i get to witness that

daphne jones don't be mean. she's not dumb, just oblivious.

pierre gasly this is like that time that guy asked for her number and she gave him dulce's number.

arthur leclerc WHAT THE FUCK? WHEN WAS THIS?

max verstappen arthur right now, probably

charles leclerc can confirm that is what arthur sounded like.

max verstappen at least someone appreciates my comedic genius. natalia ruiz he's in love with you charles leclerc literally shut up?

isabella perez WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT? HE ASKED FOR DULCE'S NUMBER?

rowan todd HE ASKED FOR YOURS! HE CALLED YOU PRETTY GIRL AND EVERYTHING?

isabella perez WHAT THE FUCK? HOW DID I MISS THAT?!

daphne jones like i said, you're oblivious.

freya vettel at least put us all out of our misery and ask out cute prema guy

isabella perez i can't.

esteban ocon the fuck do you mean you can't?

lance stroll wait. don't fucking say it isabella

isabella perez i got back together with austin

daniel ricciardo WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ISABELLA?

fernando alonso OTRA VEZ? ISABELLA, NO PUEDES SEGUIR HACIENDO ESTO! (again? isabella, you can't keep doing this!)

isabella perez but he said things would be different this time!

dulce perez THAT'S WHAT HE FUCKING SAID LAST TIME YOU MORON!

gael perez dime que no es verdad isabella! (tell me it's not true isabella!)

isabella perez that depends, what are we talking about?

dulce perez cut the bullshit. why would you do this?

isabella perez HEY YOU KNOW WHY! I LOVE HIM!

gael perez i'm gonna die and my sister's still going to be dating that lunatic.

dulce perez at this rate i'm going to get back with arthur and she's still going to be with him.

isabella perez let's talk about dulce's problems instead!

gael perez old news, we all know she's still in love arthur but in denial about it.

isabella perez by the way, was patito ever anything more than your friend?

gael perez i have to go.

isabella perez CLEARLY I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH PROBLEMS HERE!

isabella perez dulce is a snitch who's still in love with her ex and my brother dated his best friend.

dulce perez HEY FUCK YOU! WHAT HAPPENS IN THE SIBLING GROUP CHAT STAYS THERE!

max verstappen no, tell us more. as the children say, spill the tea sis.

mae jones i forget you have a broken childhood.

charles leclerc tell us something we don't already know.

dulce perez literally fuck you guys. i don't have to sit here and take this.

dulce perez i have class now.

pierre gasly coward.

dulce perez PIERRE'S IN LOVE WITH ROWAN BUT IS AFRAID TO ADMIT IT! MAX IS ALSO IN LOVE WITH MAE! AND CHARLES IS LOVE WITH NATALIA AND WE ALL KNOW THEY'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER!

dulce perez call me a coward again gasly. i know all your secrets.

lance stroll she's sort of scary sometimes.

daniel ricciardo she's a middle child. of course she knows everything.

daphne jones i love her.

max verstappen i'm kinda scared of her now. what else does she know?

dulce perez i know everything verstappen. all of you confide in me because i'm the only 'normal' one here.

dulce perez AND I KNEW ABOUT DANIEL'S PROPOSAL BEFORE ANYONE ELSE SO SUCK IT FUCKERS! (except for seb, lewis, and nando. i love you guys.)

mae jones RICCIARDO! YOU TOLD ME I WAS THE FIRST TO KNOW!

daniel ricciardo would you look at the time. i have to go walk my kangaroo.

fernando alonso coward!

daniel ricciardo no shame about it!

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @suicidepanda07 @minmira95 @vroomvroom95 @scuderiadevils @lilsiz @ssararuffoni @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @cowboylikemets1989 @rmeddar123 @kaa212 @anxxiousaries

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¡leclerc-s speaks! if i hadn’t mentioned this character before that’s because he was literally made up like last week. i also just love danny ramirez and i had to include him somehow. this entire series is just me putting together all my interests in one. also my love for pato, i love him so much. i have too many stories and don't have time to update them all so i just create more to ignore the bigger issue.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[kneelingshadowsalome]

We know Konig is more soft on women, but is it all women in general? For example, if some girl was hitting on him, would he be rough with her? Would he ever kill a woman? (if he's on the battlefield - I'm guessing he would if he had to). Is he chivalrous to all women or just his partner?

Yes, König is absolutely super soft to all women in general 🌸

The thing is, women are an exception, a beautiful, pure anomaly in König's worldview. He both worships them and views them as fragile. Women need to be protected from all harm. And at the same time... König goes feral every time he gets to taste and touch and fu–ahem, make love to a woman.

CW: Toxic!König. Sexism. Mentions of canon-typical violence and PTSD. Freudian madness.

Something just snaps, and he doesn't want to hurt his Engel... but he's a bit ADHD, and far too needy, goes a bit crazy every time he sees her. Women's soft skin and plump breasts and hot, wet, silky folds drive him insane. He just wants to drown himself in a woman, hide somewhere deep, somewhere safe, but can't because he's so big and has to act all tough. If he could, if only he was allowed, he would fall asleep every night with his cock buried inside that beautiful, warm, velvet softness.

So König's deeply embedded insecurity and attempts to seek safety are a combination that make him a little unhinged when it comes to women. That's why he can never get enough 😔 Also this man's horrible childhood has made him an adrenaline addict. Chaos is what he's used to, it feels familiar, so there's a risk that König might never settle into safety even if he finds it. He needs a high (which means he needs to kill and he needs sex.)

Female operators are skilled and tough in his eyes, and he trusts their abilities (kind of), but he would always keep a silent lookout, and try to keep them safe. Even if those women looked at him like he's a weirdo. He would always choose to help a woman over helping a man. Men can and have to survive on their own if a lady is in trouble. I know this wasn't asked but He would also never, ever hurt children.

If a woman tried to kill him (on the battlefield) he would be very professional about it. He wouldn't find joy in the killing, though. As odd as it may sound, König would prefer shooting to stabbing when it comes to neutralizing a female target. He wouldn't want to prolong their deaths, and it would make him extremely uncomfortable to knife a woman down. If he has to, he will do it, but the kill would be as quick and clean as possible.

The ones König has killed linger on the precipice of his mind as precious memories, sick fantasies made real. But the women he kills haunt him forever: those deaths sometimes give him nightmares. Especially if they brought even the tiniest bit of satisfaction...

...Because König does go into a mode when he's left with a firearm. He's so excited he sometimes drops mags simply because he's so enthusiastic. Thrill and anxiety mix when he's working, and he feels absolutely marvelous every time he fires a gun and gets to announce "Target down" in the comms. Better yet if he can go on a spree and destroy a whole room full of villains. Noticing later that one or some of them were women would give him a cold feeling in the gut and leave him with a worsening PTSD.

If a woman was violent in other circumstances, meaning outside work/warfare, he would simply seize them as gently and firmly as he can and try to calm them down. König thinks hitting women is just wrong. Even if they were trying to hit him (hitting on, as in flirting with him, now that's a different thing hehe. Not sure if this is what you asked, if so let me know!). It's unmanly and cowardly, and he would kill any guy who hits women, and kill them without mercy.

König's traumatic childhood has put him on a knight's quest to protect all women and children from harm. His mother has greatly influenced the way he sees women overall. At the end of the day, they're creatures who don't know how to defend themselves so he needs to save them.

But then again... These 'Knight in Shining Armor' fantasies should be taken with a grain of salt.

Because seeing a woman under him in a helpless state, looking back at him with cute, wet eyes while he's lodged deep inside is the best thing in the world in König's opinion. He would never deliberately go and hurt a woman... But why then does it feel so good when Engel squeals every time he goes a little too deep? (Always on accident, of course.)

[rillils]

how do explain stucky from the moment they met to where they are now (together in each others arms) to my friend who knows nothing about marvel

ohh this is a tough one, honey! i think i've got two options for you:

the short answer:

stucky is a compendium of all the best tropes out there, and i'm sure i'm gonna miss a few:

soulmates? check! star-crossed lovers? check! battle husbands? super check! mutual pining? check! 'and they were roommates'? check! best friends to lovers? check check check! long-lost lover comes back from the dead? fuck yeah, check! temporary amnesia? check! dude in distress trope? check! 'they will always find each other and choose each other in every lifetime'? also check! identity porn? extra check! saved by the power of love? you guessed it: check! slow burn or childhood sweethearts? you decide!!! did they share their first kiss when steve was 16, as per a popular fanon theory? did they only confess their feelings during the war? did they only get together much later, when bucky was healing in wakanda? you can pick literally ANY point in their timeline, and it will still make sense! they're all equally valid! you can even have multiple different headcanons at once, i mean who's gonna stop you??? all you have to do is join in the fun! 💕

the long AF answer, aka:

STEVE & BUCKY'S LOVE STORY, UNABRIDGED SOMEWHAT ABRIDGED, part 1/3

all right, let's set the scene:

imagine two young kids, let's call them steve and bucky. they meet, they immediately take to each other, they become instant besties! and as they grow up together, facing many hardships, their bond deepens. not only are they best friends; they are also each other's family. they take care of each other, and they both know they can always rely on one another in times of need.

when steve's mom (and only remaining relative) passes away, bucky reminds him that he's not as alone in this world as he thinks he is: bucky will always be by his side. bucky will always love him unconditionally, will always be there for him, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, and he wants steve to know that.

in fact, he asks steve to move in with him, thus offering steve both a literal and a metaphorical home.

and steve says yes!

SO. they are each other's home, they're living together, they're getting by all right. but then war breaks out, and eventually it reaches their little home as well: bucky is drafted, and steve, due to his many health issues, and despite his best intentions, can't follow the boy he loves onto the battlefield.

it's a very difficult time for them both - so much so that they can't even bring themselves to talk about it.

they have no choice but to say goodbye for now, knowing that they might never see each other again. but here's something you might not know yet about steve: he's the most reckless, most stubborn fucker america's ever seen. he's not gonna let this stop him!!! instead, he goes and gets a very sweet, kindly scientist to fucking experiment on him, because screw it, he's going to fight in this war if it's the last thing he does. and that's how he goes from Smol Steeb to Lorge Premium Steeb.

of course, things don't go exactly as he predicted, and steve is made to be the star of a war propaganda-fuelled musical kinda thingie, which he resents (but he looks fucking precious in his costume)

BUT! he does get closer to the actual battlefield. which is where he discovers that bucky has been captured by the enemy (!!!!!!!) and is most likely dead by now. but steve isn't willing to give up so easily! he'll believe bucky's dead when he sees it with his own eyes. so, he embarks on this suicide solo mission in the attempt to get bucky back, even if it means wandering on his own. into enemy territory. where he would be shot. on. sight. with no protection for his dumb ass except for a bunch of theater props!!! but such is the power of love, y'all.

against all odds, steve finds bucky very much still alive! and as soon as bucky recognizes him, even as confused as he is, he pulls out this beautiful, ecstatic, angelic-ass smile, like he's just seen god or he got high on some real good edibles or maybe both idk, like my man here was having a serious Religious Experience™ you guys

and i just wanna say, they could have totally kissed here and it would have made plenty of sense. but that's true of like 90% of their scenes in this franchise, so *shrugs*

ANYWAY steve takes bucky in his arms (well technically yes he does) and brings him to safety, and on their way there, bucky proves once more just how hard he meant that "with you til the end of the line" from before

afterwards, steve is finally given the chance to fight, just like he wanted.

bucky, on the other hand, could very well leave the war behind and go home; but when he learns that steve is staying, he chooses to stay too, and fight by his side. and he tells steve so in this very intimate, softspoken, delightfully suggestive conversation, which can be summed up like this:

and so they walk right back into the heart of the fight, only this time together, as they were always meant to be!

but. during an especially tricky mission, they're surprised by the enemy, and as a result, bucky falls to his death into a deep ravine.

steve is devastated. overwhelmed with guilt, grief and rage, he vows to bring down the people responsible for his loss, even if it costs him his own life.

and um, it kind of does? cost him his own life?

victorious after his last vis-a-vis with The Antagonist™, steve still chooses to sacrifice himself to prevent the catastrophe set into motion by the aforementioned Antagonist™. he's flying a jet over the frosty expanse of the atlantic, and you know, from the outside, you could easily argue that he could try to save himself. if he really wanted to. but with bucky dead, and the people responsible for all this pain, either dead or captured, it seems like all the will to fight is gone from steve; and so he plunges the jet straight into the ocean, and himself with it.

is this the end of their story?, you might ask.

the answer is: of course not!!!! the best is yet to come, babes!!!

EDIT: here is part 2

[dyaz-stories]

could we also get a, b, i, m and z with both Hyunsu and his monster version?

Thank you so much for doing Eunhyuk's it was amazing!!

NSFW Headcanon game

So, as a note, I don't treat monster!Hyun-Su as being completely detached from Hyun-Su. I see him as being completely free of Hyun-Su's inhibitions, but with a lot of the same drive/desires, so I'll make the difference where I think there's one!

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Monster!Hyun-Su doesn't stick around that long after sex. He's not the best equipped to deal with aftercare, to be honest, and he'll leave that to Hyun-Su. If you don't need anything special, though, I could see him mostly just. bragging about how good he made you feel while you're cleaning up or getting dressed.

Hyun-Su gets a boost of confidence from sex. He'll be all lovey-dovey, initiate physical touch, kisses, etc. more than usual. After an intense session, though, he'd just want to cuddle and feel you against him. If you're the one more in need of aftercare, he'd get you cleaned up, get you water, and just lay in bed with you, maybe offer you a massage. Just super sweet really.

B - Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Like with Eun Hyuk, I don't think Hyun-Su likes himself much I'm afraid, but I could see him liking his hands. They're big and strong, and he can get all sorts of reactions out of you if he puts them to good use.

Hyun-Su (and as a consequence, the monster as well), is really into legs. If you're wearing any kind of dress, skirt, or shorts, he's here for it. If you're wearing high heels and/or interesting stockings... He's a goner, basically.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Monster!Hyun-Su means business. He's here to rock your world and basically do all the things that Hyun-Su would never dare to do. Really into dirty talk, and there's not an ounce of romance to be found here I'm afraid. I think his eyes might turn to full black like in S1 in the heat of the moment, too.

Hyun-Su, on the other hand, is a lot softer. Very vocal, gets completely lost in the moment, needs a lot of reassurance in the form of physical contact or soft praises. Def very prone to spontaneously saying 'I love you' during sex.

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

So I actually headcanon that Hyun-Su gets turned on at the drop of a hat lol. You smile at him? Horny. You say something nice to him? Horny. You tiptoe to reach something and your dress/shirt rides up? Horny. He's unlikely to act on his impulses most of the time though, but what would 100% get him riled up would be you making it clear how much you want him. Seeing you being turned on by him? That's the one thing he absolutely wouldn't be able to resist. (and if he did, the monster would come out to play)

Z - ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I also headcanon that Hyun-Su doesn't need as much sleep as your regular human, so I think he'd stay awake. Would love watching you sleep honestly, just staring at you and marvelling at the fact that you're here with him and that you love him. Monster!Hyun-Su goes out instantly though — not out of need, but just because he acts on impulses and that would 'feel right' to him.

Hope you liked it! I have one more for Hyun-Su (I think? it wasn't specified!) and this is still open btw!

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

Reading about the cultural and social importance of bathing throughout Chinese history (because I am exactly the kind of person who spends hours reading about the cultural and social importance of bathing throughout Chinese history for no particular reason on a Tuesday night) and obviously now I'm imagining the sects all lowkey competing with regards to their public baths -- or at least the ones meant for visiting disciples and dignitaries.

The Jin are obviously doing The Most and being incredibly tacky about it. The floor of the bath is made of gold tile that dull super quickly and the whole tub needs to be frequently drained so the tiles can be deep cleaned and polished, and of course once they're shiny they reflect light up and through the water in a way that's actually really distracting. The bath bean has crushed pearls and seventy four different types of flowers in it. The benches are intricately engraved and inlaid with gems in places that pinch your butt when you sit on them.

The Nie have a natural hot spring that they have turned into their main public bath. The massive cavern houses a number of varying-sized pools, some of which interconnect and others of which are freestanding. The free standing pools are typically treated with different soaks to give the water various medicinal properties (most often for things like muscle aches or minor injuries, but also for skincare and such.) I imagine the Nie recipe for bath-bean would include animal fat and pancreas, making it very rich and cleansing.

Part of me wants to say the Jiang would just bathe in the lake but that seems cheap to me, so instead: Through a combination of well-placed pipes and clever array work, the Jiang bath house feels like a mini indoor rainstorm, with water falling in thousands of warm droplets from the ceiling above to fill the pools, which are more shallow that a typical bath would be. There are built-in overhangs you can sit under to get out of the "rain" while still being in the water. If requested the rain can be "turned up" and the lights dimmed, and cymbals crash so you feel like you're really standing out in a raging thunderstorm, which some people find incredibly soothing and others find terrifying. I can't think of anything unique for the bath bean other than lotus flowers but I do think, given the proximity to the river, that mud wraps would be a common treatment offered.

The Lan... probably have the worst public baths, actually. They may not even actually have a public bath at all. If they do have one, it's not meant to be a place of luxury or entertainment, although of course it would be tastefully decorated and comfortable. Rather they'd find some way to make public bathing less about socializing and more about silently meditating while pretending you aren't surrounded by other naked people. I guess the cold springs kind of sort of count as a public bath but not really. Bath bean smells distinctly medicinal, but obviously whatever is in it works, because the Lan all look Like That.

The public bath in Qishan stopped being a popular attraction when Wen Ruohan stopped having visitors, but for years their bath was one hell of a marvel. Massive, bronze statues of phoenixes would be heated until glowing-hot and then lowered into the stone tub, filling the air with thick steam. Patrons would sit around the room on their benches, sweating it out until the statues had cooled enough for the water to be safe to enter. If you wanted a cold bath, the adjoining room was also home to a massive bronze statue, this one of a dragon that sat in the center of the tub and poured cool water out of it's mouth. Bath bean was made with plant ash rather than rice or soybean powder, and the water was all treated with volcanic ash.

And, because I am Me, the Wei sect: I'm imagining a dark hall deep in the cave systems, the floor lined with man made in-ground pools of varying sizes not entirely unlike the Nie baths, however these pools aren't connected to an outside water source or each other. There are illusion arrays carved into the walls that send out glowing, ghostly shapes of fish and otters and other river creatures swimming through the air. The pools are filled through overhead pipes that pour water, oils, and herbal mixtures into the pool, and each pool has access to it's own set of labeled levers, so a person or group of people can customize their bath while they're having it, adding more cool water, hot water, or various add-ins. The bath bean is more of a paste due to the addition of a ton of collagen. (They get it from the kitchen's bone broth. The bones are not human, but that doesn't stop visiting disciples from scaring each other about it. Don't piss off the Yiling Louzu or you'll end up in the soap.)

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Book rec: How To Train Your Dragon

Yes, like the movies but also NO, not like the movies.

The movies are awesome, but I need you to understand first that the books are very different, equally awesome things. Hiccup is scrawny and a ginger. Toothless is tiny and green and talks. Gobber is built like a linebacker. Snotface Snotlout is a budding sociopath with a BFF named Dogsbreath the Duhbrain.

And they are such good books.

First and foremost, the writing is superlative. It's silly and wacky and sometimes gross and so visceral and engaging with alliteratives and tactile language. The plots are NOT formulaic and do NOT go where you expect, and there's a true element of danger with unexpected deaths and consequences. I am a grown person with a mature understanding of how plots and series work, and I knew there were thirteen books in the series and STILL in book four I was terrified that the heroes wouldn't be able to pull it all off after all and the series would somehow end right there.

Second, they're marvelously short. Yes, there are thirteen in the entire series, but they just fly by. (Ha. Dragon pun.)

Third, the audiobooks are narrated by David Tennant. I repeat, all thirteen books are narrated by David Tennant in a thick, natural Scottish brogue, and he sounds like he's having the time of his life. The voices are great starting in Book 1 (I love the bits where he sings) but for me the joy really kicks off in Book 3. The section with the song of the nanodragon leaves me in stitches every time.

And because these book recs are all meant to be specific to my sliver of the Batman community, the dad vibes are peak. PEAK, I say. Stoic the Vast fills the specific flavor of kids book dad where he doesn't listen and is a little silly and often wrong which causes friction with his son who is very different from him and therefore difficult for him to understand but mannnnnnnn, he loves that kid so much. He really does. What a good dadman who is trying to best. (Oh, another difference? Hiccup's mom is alive and part of the tribe from the start. Her name is Valhallarama. But this is still very much a Dad-And-Son series.)

I strongly strongly strongly recommend getting the audiobooks from your local library. Such a treat.

[artbyblastweave]

It's so funny how Cap just COINCIDENTALLY seems to be physically unable to go through a SINGLE Republican presidency without having a crisis of faith that causes him to not be Cap anymore. Nomad with Nixon. USAgent with Reagan. Death and Buckycap with Bush, then HydraCap with Trump. I like to think him dying was the universe's way of identifying "...well he doesn't seem to be changing yet. Better balance this out real quick"

This is true, and moreover this ask dovetails nicely with another Cappost I've been thinking about making. Given the sliding timeline, who should we assume was in charge of the Secret Empire?

Loose, possibly at-least-partially misremembered background for those who weren't aware of this batshit plot point- In the early seventies, concurrent with Watergate, Captain America shut down a scheme by a neofascist group called the Secret Empire to, I dunno, hold the country hostage with a mutant-powered nuke or something, the specifics aren't important, what's important is that Cap cornered the leader of the group in the Oval Office, where he killed himself to avoid capture, and you never get to see the guy's face but it was all but directly stated that the Leader was Richard Nixon attempting a Coup D'état (possibly to get out of being prosecuted for Watergate?). This shakes Cap up pretty badly and he temporarily retired the Cap identity in order to operate as Nomad, The Man Without A Country, it was a whole crisis of conscience situation. Anyway, the whole situation is still vaguely implicitly canon, they refer to the Secret Empire, and there have been successor heroes who've taken up the Nomad identity after Cap got out of the funk. But It also can't have been Nixon who killed himself in front of Cap due to the sliding time scale- the rule of thumb for Marvel is that it's generally only been about 15-20 years at most since the Fantastic Four did their thing, which does hilarious things to the worldbuilding. My understanding is that you're supposed to assume that if the president is depicted in a marvel story you need to just mentally "swap in whoever would have been president 10-15 years before the present day, but given the specificity of this situation that quickly gets insane. Did Bush kill himself in front of Captain America to escape the consequences of the 2008 recession? Did Obama?! Was it just not a president at all at this point- in which case, why did Cap react badly enough to quit and become Nomad? And so on, and so forth. They basically gotta memory hole it, but I will not let them forget! Cap saw a U.S. President off themselves! But to tie this back to Civilwarposting- what I think about a lot is that from a worldbuilding perspective the actual political moment that generated Civil War is perpetually in flux. This is true of every Marvel comic but it's especially notable here because of the extent to which the comic itself is emphasizing the political moment and what created it. It's a Bush-era comic, a reaction to the politics and the rhetoric of the War on Terror and the post-9/11 years, Bush actually personally appears in it. But if it hasn't already, eventually it's going to have implicitly been pushed through Congress during the Obama Administration, and then during the Trump Admin, and then during the Biden Admin, and so on and so forth, and like. setting aside that there's already an entire swath of the marvel timeline that's very blatantly trump-admin-coded, produced in reaction to that atmosphere, The situations and arguments and rhetoric and battle lines that would have gotten that bill through each of those admins looks very different each time! And I'm not gonna say it's interesting to see how they'll resolve this, because they won't resolve it, they don't need to, they're politely asking everyone to let this one go and that's not the biggest ask these comics make of me, so fine. Whatever. But it's very very funny

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 3

Propaganda Under Cut

Sharon Carter

Sharon is portrayed as a conniving, meddling bitch/villain in fics. Multiple authors flat-out say that they need someone to be the bitch or villain in their fics and they used Sharon. She got so much hatred based on Steve kissing her in Civil War in 2016 that Marvel Studios changed its entire plan for multiple characters. This is despite how Sharon has been Steve's main love interest in the comics since December 9, 1965. Despite being off and on for decades (three of Steve's other love interests were while she was supposedly dead, with at least one writer saying they only created the love interest because Sharon was dead at the time)

When she first appeared she was unfairly treated by fans for "getting in the way" of the Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes ship. A shame because she's a really good character. I'd talk more about how unfairly Sharon, and her actress Emily VanCamp, have been treated by the fanbase and the creators, but that's a different story.

She and Steve Rogers were meant to have a romantic relationship, but the entire fandom and many Stucky fans dislike her because it wasn’t a good ship. I think she isn’t the best but she doesn’t deserve so much hate

Elizabeth Midford

She started as just a cutie fiancée trying her best, turns out she's also a swordfighting genius, very under pressure to perform feminity in the Victorian Rose type of way. Fandom crucifies her bc she's Ciel's fiancée and they want him to be with his butler, Sebastian, the demon he sold his soul to for revenge

anime was a shitty canon divergent adaptation that butchered her character down to her "cutesy silly girly" persona, which obviously made the 2008 anime fans hate her with a passion (nothing wrong w being girly I'm just saying the adaptation made her super one dimensional) anyways fujoshis used to treat her as a villain because she's the fiance of Ciel,, who as u might know already was HEAVILY shipped with his butler, Sebastian back then (now it's kinda looked badly upon, nice tbh that ship sucks ass xD) She's a bit similar to Misa Amane from death note in the way she was treated. (Like an obstacle the yaoi ship must overcome rather than a person)

she's my silly little rabbit! i could gush about her character but i'll keep it short and just say that she's really well written and one of the best characters in the series. anyways she's ciel's fiance and she's like, rightfully annoying as any other 13 yr old girl would be but the fanbase fucking crucified her for even existing. she gets demonized for being 'annoying', but then ciel gets yaoishipped with an even more annoying guy. there is 100% an argument that lizzie/ciel is weird bc they're cousins (i personally don't ship it) but that falls flat when her detractors then ship the 13 yr old ciel with an eons old demon who Canonically looks like his father. the anime also never reached her main character development until years after its peak and that was only in a movie, so she really got the bad end of the stick here. not me though i had a giant crush on her when i was 12

[moralesmilesanhour]

flowerbyte headcanons

Cuz the tag empty as hell and I am their self-appointed PR manager

It's one thing to think the other is cute. It's another thing to actually get to *know* them.

At first they bond over shared hobbies. Normal kiddie stuff like molecular physics, nothing too crazy

That is, until Miles asks a question that's juuust crossing the line between "okay" and "too personal"

That's when he realizes that Margo likes to keep people at an arm's length.

Which he only partially gets, because they've all got a secret identity to hide, and mental health issues to hide from their parents until they hit 18

But shouldn't it be different with him?

Okay now that all the people who were looking for fluff have left

Margo doesn't like to discuss feelings. They're messy and u can't program them to do what u want 💔 she likes to hide behind mild sarcasm and large sanrio plushies

If Miles hadn't asked her out first then she would've been content with an eternity of soft glances and awkward flirting

Miles is marginally better at feelings. In fact, there is no point at which she's unaware of how he feels about something

It's comforting. And terrifying

All of this is to say that their whole early relationship dynamic is trying to open up to each other while trying to keep the space-time continuum from falling apart like a Nature Valley bar

You know what's even more difficult than that? Inviting your bf that you've been interacting with via virtual avatar for like a year to your dimension

But it's fine. Miles makes a lot of bad jokes about the transition to color television in the 50s, tells her she's pretty, and it's fine.

He asks Margo about her favorite movies and shows so that he can psychoanalyze her and fine-tune his recommendations

She offers to fix all of his "vintage" electronics because they're a "historical marvel" or something

They're both annoying as hell together. God forbid you say something and they both take turns infodumping to you about The Thing like a neurodivergent tag team

Autism vs ADHD

Unstoppable force vs Immovable object. Miles is incredibly stubborn and needs things to happen in a Very Specific Way and Margo does shit in a completely different order every time and somehow they make it work

Those are all my brainrot thoughts for now feel free 2 add on if u want [disappears in a cloud of smoke]

[arceespinkgun]

Blaster and Bumblebee/Goldbug

After reading the entire Marvel UK G1 comics continuity, one thing I've concluded is that I really want to see Bumblebee and Blaster hang out again. Blaster is somewhat famous for being very different from his Sunbow cartoon interpretation in these comics, being hot-headed in the comics but chill in the show, but honestly he becomes more in-line with that version of himself over time and I think Bumblebee was a large part of that. Continuing to have Bumblebee and Blaster as friends in new media would be a great thing.

Look at this awkward moment lol

See their story below the cut:

Blaster was introduced as an Autobot who was part of the Cybertronian resistance, trying to liberate the planet from the Decepticons. He had a partner named Scrounge who he seemed to have a hot-and-cold dynamic with.

But when Scrounge was captured and executed by the Decepticon leader Straxus in a horrific way (being melted by acid, which Straxus did to POWs in order to turn them into ingots) and died to send the message to the other Autobots that the Ark's crew were alive on Earth, Blaster became very embittered.

Meanwhile, on Earth, Bumblebee was struggling with feeling like he wasn't a valued member of the Autobots. He was treated like someone to protect, and when he was asked to mentor Tracks, Smokescreen, and Skids, Bumblebee ended up feeling like the whole affair was a wash.

I think it's worth noting how similar Blaster's dead partner, Scrounge, really is to Bumblebee. Obviously they're both little yellow guys, but beyond that, both felt like the load to their respective teams, even though that wasn't actually true. Scrounge even dies happy that he feels he was finally good for something. Scrounge was also a spy, which is kind of similar to Bumblebee's role in G1 as a scout.

Anyway, things happen, in an infamous moment, Optimus Prime kills himself over the deaths of video game NPCs. Blaster and the rest of his crew get to Earth via Space Bridge. Bumblebee gets blown up and then rebuilt into Goldbug. Grimlock takes control of the Autobots and immediately acts like a tyrant, culminating in his ordering Blaster and Goldbug to just start killing humans who are getting in their way during a mission. Blaster's cynicism and Goldbug's ideals actually mean they're on the same page in their disgust for their leader, so they go off alone.

Blaster is honestly an emotional wreck, channeling all this grief into hatred for the Decepticons. He's furious when Goldbug is shocked to hear that Blaster let his partner die.

These comics really tried to sell us on "Deceps" as a shortened version of "Decepticons." It did not catch on

When Goldbug has to go off alone while Blaster's battling the Decepticons, because Blaster and the Decepticons all got infected with Scraplets and Goldbug needs to find a cure, Blaster starts cursing Goldbug's name and Goldbug (IMO correctly) notes that if he tried to explain his good reasons for leaving mid-fight, Blaster wouldn't believe him.

When Goldbug does come back for him, Blaster lets his anger overwhelm him again, to the point of wanting to die via acid—the same way his old partner died—with the Decepticons rather than living.

But the Scraplets become too powerful to defeat this way, so Goldbug sticks to ideal and rebels. He knows they need their enemies' help to defeat the Scraplets. He saves them and Blaster both.

Blaster changes his mind about the whole thing, accepting their friendship, even seeing it as the "cure" for his inability to trust.

Goldbug's kindness softens Blaster a lot, something that is important throughout the rest of the issues in which he's the main character. He even lets Grimlock capture him in order to save the lives of some human children.

Eventually, Goldbug's also imprisoned by Grimlock. Blaster, having been tortured at Grimlock's command, is again starting to doubt what the point of caring about other people even is anymore. But Goldbug knows Blaster by this point. He knows that vengeance and anger drive him, so he knows just what to say to get him to knock some sense into the tyrant!

Many other things happen after this point, like Blaster being temporarily deactivated, as is Goldbug, and Goldbug getting rebuilt back into Bumblebee by Ratchet. But I think what's especially important is that Bumblebee takes on a leadership role, even sort of becoming Grimlock's superior.

I know this post has been all summary and very little analysis, but I know a lot of people don't know this continuity's stories so I felt it was necessary. What I really want to emphasize is how Bumblebee and Blaster made each other better people, and how Blaster feels like an equal to Bumblebee when Bumblebee's so often put into the role of a mentee or mentor to others. Bumblebee wanted to be needed by someone and to move away from the "little brother" role he often serves, and he became Blaster's equal and was needed by him in Blaster's time of mourning, then later became a leader. Goldbug helped Blaster calm down and become more openly caring. And the thing is, I really feel like even divorced from this specific storyline, this relationship could easily carry over into other continuities since both characters love Earth culture.

I'm also aware that Earthspark has Bumblebee talk about how Breakdown is like a brother to him and that their interactions have similarities to this dynamic. Since that show often focuses on post-War interactions between Autobots and Decepticons, it makes sense. But I really do want to see Blaster and Bumblebee again because I often feel like Blaster is neglected from a characterization standpoint and these comics give him some of the most depth and such a great relationship with an ultra-prominent character.

[sunflowerdigs]

But truly, as a person who hasn't really been all that comfortable in her own skin until recently and who has typically felt like she didn't fit in, it's been a real treat watching Loki find that one person who knows all of his shit but loves him in spite of (because of) it. And I think that's why it's so hard for me to understand why anyone would be clinging to Sylki at this point because Lokius is this wonderful, warm, accepting safe space. And, heck, if you only have that with your platonic friends and not your romantic partners, I don't know what to tell you. Lokius seems like the pinnacle of human connection between two people in that sense, what we're all looking for - someone who knows us because they've taken the time to learn us, and who greets every day that they get to keep knowing and learning us with delight and deep fascination.

Loki can give that gift to Sylvie, I guess, if the writers want him to. But she doesn't have the capacity to give it back yet - she's still very much in fear mode, there's no room for anybody but herself in her heart and mind right now. And that's fine, it makes total sense. But it's...illogical and unfair to say that Loki needs to wait for her to get to the point where she has the capacity to love him when there's someone else right there, right now able and willing to love him in that way. And that person is also very lonely and looking for someone to love. This isn't Sylvie's story after all - it's Loki's. It's his journey to love and acceptance, not her's.

Additionally, I think Loki wants to be the one to "fix" Sylvie in the way that Mobius "fixed" him but it doesn't really work because they're too similar, there's no room for that empathy and fascination with a different set of flaws and fears that leads to growth.

Idk. I'm fairly sure that the finale is going to be a disappointment to Lokius shippers and I'm struggling to accept that because it's been such a lovely and honest ride so far with these two. Loki literally turning to the camera in 2x05 and saying he's going to rewrite the story (so, in a meta sense, fix the flaws of the story that's been told) has given me a bit of hope, but, eh - it's Marvel. Heteronormativity will likely win out in the end. But I've had so much fun reading the reactions of other people and collecting the fic and the art. We're not wrong, we're just ahead of our time. I've gotta believe that, at some point in the future, a character as popular and beloved as Loki could get with another man without that heavy-handed, hand-holding, "this is gay, turn away now if you don't like it" kind of storytelling. Maybe not on Thursday. But someday.

[eldritch-spouse]

lmao Vesper 😭😭😭

Ok wait for me I have new genius idea for crackass scapegoat!AU

Reader is the poor employee with a curse of being a magnet for Icons. They're trying their best, applying for the jobs in the most "human" spaces – but it's useless to try, it's only matter of time when they're meeting face to face with something very huge and demonic. They're not even trying, really. They're not even at some high position. They're just too unlucky to being the one who listens to all complaints and death threats... yet still very lucky to somehow remain alive after that.

After being kicked out from the theatre, their first honest job, they're totally broke. Underground casino? Yeah, yeah, shady. Sign them up!

Work is actually not so bad until some strange green giant scolds the shit out of them for "playing cheap" and almost brings them to that hot shithole– good thing he got distracted and the only thing poor employee lost are all their money and a job.

Damn, here we go again- Nothing could be wrong with working in a popular restaurant, yeah? Everyone gone through it-

Oh, how lucky they're to stay alive after that day when enormous snake woman decided to visit their modest establishment of a workplace. Their coworker, fellow waiter, is not so lucky tho. Poor Kenny.

With a generous amount of trauma, our scapegoat is escaping to something- something completely different, you know? They got a jackpot! Luck is TOTALLY on their side after all this suffering, how else you can explain that they got a job in that prestigious boutique?

... Well, let's say, they haven't break in tears only because of their lack of dignity at this point. That guy was marvelous, but he almost crashed them into the pulp with all his requirements- they're not even a designer, really....

Okay, maybe, they need to take a rest. Big rest. Take their stress out somewhere. Ikea, furniture store, bed section. Peace and love.

How it's even possible to be fired from a chill place like this? Oh, that's easy. Some buff dude built like a mountain just sorta appeared and fell asleep at the one of the biggest beds- and for some reason they fell asleep on their workplace while it happened. When they woke up tho, here was no one but a broken bed and complain in the customer's book.

That's it. That's a last nerve they had. They're escaping to the amusement park, to be the clown they are and being paid for it, as they deserve.

Only to be mocked by a guy with a fucking macaroni limbs. No, here was other people too, but he brought the greatest display of mockery and dishonour ever possible. Even their destroyed dignity somehow reanimated just to get beat down again.

...

Kalymir has zero idea why he woke up with a strong desire to go on the fucking "DOTA tournament" and tf it even means, but he already hyped up and ready to crush in-

After having to gamble at the same table as the Lord of Greed and nearly losing ownership of your soul.

After working at a restaurant good enough that the Queen of Gluttony unintentionally erotically fellated your entire body and made you feel like a twinkie.

After getting your department in IKEA utterly destroyed by the King of Sloth's insistence that he nap specifically in your section.

After having the King of Pride rip into you so viciously that you only wished you had been swallowed.

After having the King of Envy out-clown you.

And now, seeing what you can only guess is the King of Wrath well on his way to likely turn you into a stain on the wall...

You think of what could have been. Before this chain of horrid luck took over your life. In that one first job where you had to confront Vesper about his tendency for "group affections"-

Maybe you really should have just taken the deal and sucked him off.

[jpitha]

Between the Black and Gray 21

First / Previous / Next

Fen paced around the tiny AI Core room. Dreams had told her she was quite safe inside, but based on the noises she heard in the hall, she wasn't so sure. More than once she felt her ears pop with a swing in pressure, and once she swore she felt the gravity change.

After what felt like forever, the door hissed open, and an empty space suit stood in the door. "Here you go Fen, the nicest suit onboard. It used to belong to Captain Cooper, but she won't be needing it anymore." Dreams chuckled darkly. "Speaking of, is there anything of the crew's stuff you want? They're all dead, and I don't need human stuff. Food, valuables, weapons, whatever. Feel free to grab what you want on your way out. But, do get out."

"Uh, okay, thanks Dreams." The suit split down the chest and opened like a flower. Fen backed up and as her feet stepped inside the boots, the suit molded to her size and body. The suit closed behind her, and she felt a gust of conditioned air as the suit pressurized. "So Dreams, once I get my stuff, where do I go?"

"Oh, head down to the hangar, I've left a ship for you."

Fen made her way back to her room to collect her things. As she walked, she marveled at the destruction. Panels were bent and broken, there were scorch marks on the walls, and there were bodies everywhere. She tried not to look at them.

Most everyone hadn't even had a chance to get their weapons, let alone armor or a space suit. Some had small arms, but the vast majority of people were just in their uniforms, gunned down by Dreams without any knowledge of what happened.

Fen's room was untouched. She grabbed her bag and her rifle, and headed towards the hangar. Everywhere she went, she passed carnage. One floor had the air evacuated, everyone there unmarked by weapons; they had all suffocated. Another, the gravity was turned high and then reversed. Everyone had been slammed against the floor and ceiling and floor until nothing remained but a red paste covering the floor and ceiling. A Third floor had all of the fire doors down and when she peered into the windows built into the doors she found the compartments filled with water. The crew here had managed to drown on a starship.

"You like that one? I'm especially proud of the drowning." Dreams sounded excited to explain thing to Fen as she spoke through the suit comm. "I re-routed the water from the pools to the fireproof compartments. Everyone died confused!"

"It's uh... very creative." Fen suppressed a shudder. On the one hand, the Empire had shackled Dreams and had held her against her will for centuries. On the other, they had been nice to Fen, and hadn't done anything bad to her.

"But that's because of who you are Fen." She could almost hear Ma-ren speaking to her in her mind. "You look human. Don't forget Ellen, she wanted to beat you because of how you were raised. Don't give them too much sympathy because they were nice to you. Under different circumstances, they would have shot you dead and not even thought about it after."

It was still a lot to see. Fen sighed, and tried to compartmentalize it. Gord had taught her about compartmentalization when they were together. He'd tell her, "Sometimes you're going to see terrible things, feel awful feelings, and still have to perform at your best. You can compartmentalize those feelings, those memories. Put them aside for later."

Fen put it out of her mind, and reached the bottom of the ship. "Dreams? Where is the armory?"

Dream's laugh was manic. "Now we're talking! I was hoping you weren't going to squander this opportunity! The armory and magazine are next to the hangar. You're on the right path. Don't worry about locked doors, you're the only BI left alive now, I've opened them all. You need some cash? I have control over everyone's bank accounts. I can toss a few million Stars your way before you leave too. I don't need it."

Fen paused. That felt like stealing from the dead, but it's not like they needed it anymore. It's not like she didn't need money. "Sure, Dreams, hook me up."

Fen reached the bottom deck and walked past the large open doors of the hangar, and finally her curiosity got the better of her. "What about the other two supers?"

"Oh, I haven't shot them yet. They honestly haven't even noticed anything is wrong. I kept all the bodies inside and have been spoofing comms with them. I'll let you get out of here, then I'll open up."

"Don't wait on my account Dreams, go nuts."

Another dark chuckle. "Oh you wouldn't say that if you knew what I had planned. Believe me when I say it'll be better that you're a few million kilometers away when I get started."

Fen reached the armory and just stood in the doorway for a moment. There were more guns here than she had ever seen in her life. It seemed like Dreams was stocked to give every single person down to the cooks and janitors a battle rifle. Dreams had wheeled a little electric cart by the door, and it chirped happily. Fen walked down the isles, picking out rifles of all shapes and sizes, pistols, submachineguns, even shotguns and scoped rifles and placed them in the cart as it followed behind her.

All in all, Fen wound up taking many cart loads of weapons and ammunition from Dreams, as well as a copy of her entire matter printer database, a few million Stars and most of her easy to grab food. It took most of a day to get things down to the hold - especially as Fen avoided the more grisly floors. Luckily, most everything was in the lower levels, and she didn't have to go roaming across the whole thing to find what was worth taking.

When she was finished collecting things, Dreams had saved something special for her. There was an entire frigate in her hold, something that Dreams was actually ferrying back to the Sol system. "It's a joint project between Sol and K'lax! Isn't it neat?" The brand new frigate gleamed in the sharp light of the massive hangar. It was a matte blue color, practically the color of space itself. Fen had a hard time finding the corners and edges, it seemed to blend into whatever space it occupied. Easily taller than the apartment complex she grew up in it was small for a starship, but still the largest thing that was ever 'hers.'

"It's amazing Dreams, are you sure I can have it?" Fen walked up to the ramp at the bottom and peered in. It smelled of new electronics and there was still plastic on the floor.

"What would I do with it, Fen? I'm already a Starship. It doesn't have an AI core, so I can't even wear it. It'll be wasted if it stays aboard, and since you're the only BI left, why don't you take it. Between the frigate, the Stars and the weapons, I figure I have you set up to run your own little mercenary group. It's set up for single operator use - though it'll work better when you have a crew - and I made sure the tanks are full, the reactors hot and the printable mass loaded."

Fen stood outside the frigate and watched as the little carts wheeled 'her' new stuff aboard. "I'm not ungrateful Dreams, but... why?"

"Fenchurch Whitehorse if I'm anything, I am angry. I'm angry at what happened to me, I'm angry at the state of the galaxy, I'm angry at what has happened to the humans I used to love so much. In you, I see that spark of old humanity. I see something I haven't thought about in a long time."

"I feel hopeful when I see you."

Fen didn't say anything lest she ruin the moment. "Fen, I know a lot about you. More than you know yourself, probably. You're more important than you realize. Not only that but, without any prodding or offers of reward you freed me. You risked your own life to try and save mine, even tough we were both captured by the Human Empire. It would have been easy to just walk by the AI Core and pretend you didn't see it, or assume it was empty. Instead you snuck in and freed me. I'd say that means you deserve a chance."

The last cart wheeled off the frigate. "Okay Fen, you're loaded up. I also transferred the keys and the IFF to you. This ship is yours, free, clear and legally. You can dock at any station, planet or colony - even Imperial ones - and there is nothing they can do to strip ownership from you. Go, and flourish. I believe in you."

The corners of Fen's eyes were wet, and she wiped them on the convenient pad in her suit. "Thanks Dreams. I hope to see you again under happier circumstances."

"I can promise you Fen, you won't. Say hi to Gord for me when you see him again." Dreams cut the audio and the door to the rest of the ship rolled shut with finality. Fen climbed aboard her new ship, and Dreams guided her out.

Up on the Command Deck, Fen sat in the command chair. Dreams was correct it was set up for single operator use, but clearly it was hobbled. She could set a destination and that was about it. She was going to have to hire a crew if she was going to do anything other than float. She saw that the computer was preset to take her to K'lax so she pressed the button to execute the orders, and felt the pressure increase as the drive lit to take her across the system.

Ten minutes later, she received a text only message from Dreams. "Turn around and you'll see a show." Fen activated the rear cameras and watched.

The Dreams of Hyacinth, a Super Dreadnought more than six kilometers long flashed the pure white light of a wormhole link. It appeared next to the other super, and then flashed again. Now it was next to the third super. It flashed between the two faster than she thought possible. Each time Dreams flashed next to the ship, the automatic station-keeping system slid the ship away from Dreams and towards each other. Dreams did this four more times - for a total of eight links until the ships were almost ready to collide. Then, she linked above the two and...

Dreams had overloaded all of her reactors. There was a white flash, like a wormhole link, but instead of being over in a flash, it grew in intensity, spreading larger and larger, black tentacles of energy on the edges of space. It was so bright that the frigate dimmed the video feed once, and then again. In the space of less than five minutes, all three ships were utterly destroyed. Nothing remained.

Fen turned off the rear cameras and sat in silence for a moment. She wondered if that's what Dreams meant by 'going home.'

The radio crackled to life. "Unknown ship, identify yourself or be fired upon! I repeat, identify yourself or be fired upon!" The voice was speaking Colonic, but had a thick K'laxi accent.