#because theyre so close that they cant see whats directly in front of them

[active-mind-15]

I have a headcanon that when the Teiko gang is older, Akashi gets tired of seeing Aomine and Momoi being oblivious to the relationship they have with each other, so he conspires with the other GoM + Kuroko to get them together and it works.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

i saw your discussion post about hypersexualization and i wanted to give my two cents on it since it sounded interesting and ive had this internal conversation with myself on the ethics of it.

going on anon but the only necessary things to know about myself are that:

1) i write and draw fanart of these people that are both sfw and nsfw

2) im somewhere in the aromantic-asexual spectrum

in an objective sense, these idols and artists are definitely being hypersexualized by many fans. there are many who thirst, who definitely try and chase to see the idols in more skin and tight fitting clothes not just for the aesthetic appeal but also because it satiates an inner sexual desire. imho this isnt limited to kpop since celebrities of different backgrounds and industries get similar treatment (exhibit a: pedro pascal) but to be very real, its super prominent in kpop.

i find that bit unfortunate. whenever i consume official content from the kpop artists that i love and admire, i always try to consume them in ethical ways and i always want to humanize them. thats why i always think twice when i buy merchandise directly from stores because im very critical about capitalism and consumerism (im not getting into that now though lol). i genuinely only think that its a real danger or that lines are being crossed when these fantasies are trying to be realized or brought to light in front of the artist. thats why i cringe at fanservice and adjacent things: youre pushing your y/n fantasies on the artist when i feel like you should know if theyre even comfortable about it first. :/

where the lines start to blur is when we talk about rpf (real person fiction) ethics. i personally engage in rpf and even rpf nsfw, which probably should contradict what i just said earlier: i think its a little more different than that. whenever im in these spaces, its like a switch turns because at this point, i dont see any of the “idols” as the artists, but instead i see these as characters based on their onstage personas. does that make sense? for example, if im reading mingi smut, i see the “mingi” in this story as a completely separate entity from kpop boy group rapper song mingi from real life, and this “mingi” is instead a character who shares his name and onstage traits but is altered in many ways. in the same vein, i feel less comfortable reading idol!aus because it seems too grounded in reality when i generally mentally and emotionally separate the two things. these characters in my head and personal interpretation of the fics and art that i create and consume are just versions of the personas and characters that these idols play up onstage. honestly, lets face it—mingi in ateez’s lore universe is a character and not a true reflection of mingi, so in the same vein, the versions of mingi that i write and draw about are characters who are explicitly not reflections of how i see mingi in real life.

thats why in concerts and fanmeetings, no matter how close i am to interacting with these people, i never behave out of my limits as a fan. i always separate fandom or at least this subset of fandom from its source aka real life. i read a quote somewhere where an artist commented on fanfiction (i cant for the life of me remember who said this, i think hes from a rock band, oh my god im so sorry) where he said something along the lines of “its not something i should see since its not made for me, its made by fans for my fans.” that quote stuck with me becauss, even if other artists such as kpop idols may perceive this differently and may not be as comfortable with fanfiction and such, the objective point stands that this should be “from fans for fans,” and not “from fans for the artists and their fans to actually get together and smooch.”

sorry this is long! just wanted to chime in. have a nice day :)

Hey, im just about to go to bed so I can't give a detailed response to this but the points you make are very valid and I'm grateful that you sent posted this in.

I'm going to pop a pin in this and then can you just sent through again on the 1st of May so I can add it to the discussion?

Thank you, and if you want to DM about this. That's okay too.

[projectshadovv]

Thoughts on shadamy? Or how you see the potential behind their dynamic? 🥺👉👈

gosh i havent thought that much about shadamy in awhile!! i was REALLLLY into it tho, just as much as i was into sonamy, like i honestly couldnt decide which i liked more.

(under read more cause once again i am Just Talk Talk Talk)

obviously now sonshadamy is the way

but ok well, i think i ship them more platonically firstofall (tho im not against romantically, we just haven't seen them together that many times? i would LOOOVE more interaction with them) and she'd be really good for helping him open up more about his thoughts and feelings, encourage him to be kind and thoughtful. people like to say that Sonic is a lot like Maria, and maybe they are similar!- Maria never got the chance to be adventurous or active though, and in SA2, Amy clearly reminded Shadow of Maria just as he was about to watch Earth be destroyed. She reminded and showed Shadow the actual meaning in Maria's words, what she wanted for Shadow and thats how he was able to save the world.

Amy's a really 'get into her feelings' kind of person and i can see her and Shadow having a few arguements and disagreements and lack of communication and understanding between them. It would def be really rocky at first (while Sonic on the other hand, just *understands* Shadow and leaves him be if needed, or confronts him directly and straight to the point). It would take a long time for Amy to really understand Shadow who's a closed door, and Amy's a open book and maybe that scares Shadow. He doesnt understand someone like her, who is so selfless and kind and lends a helping hand to anyone in need, and maybe he hates being on the other hand of that dynamic- he sees it as being weak, and Amy could teach him that theres bravery in kindness.

On a happier note tho, some activities i can see them enjoying together. Clearly Amy cant keep up with him in combat or speed, but she has a good endurance, and i can see her taking him out shopping or to local game arcades, or maybe help him with gardening. he grumbles and complains at the thought of being around people and doesnt like the center of attention but i think he'd think the experience is worth it

In battle, he'd be pretty annoyingly worried about Amy, she's not as strong or skilled as him and Sonic, or as elusive and cunning as Rouge- and you know, he wouldnt wanna lose someone close to him a second time, so he'd prob jump in front of Amy all the time and Amy would get soooo pissed off at him and theyd just get into a yelling match in the middle of the battlefield and everyone else is just face palming and its sooo awkward for everyone.

Finally, sonic who's known amy like his whole life, assures Shadow that shes more than capable of taking care of herself. Yes she was the damsel in distress in the past, but she's gotten stronger, not only for her friends but for herself and he's seen the improvement. it takes a lot of convincing to calm Shadow and so maybe he tries to work together more as a team with her. He's not used to that, so he'll still mess up and still try to get the most enemies defeated, but thats because he wants all the glory. it's still kinda annoying to Amy but he's trying i suppose!

Or maybe I'm giving Shadow too much credit, maybe he leaves Amy by herself TOO much, leaves her to fend for himself, refuses to work as a coordinated team. He's always worked alone, and when he doesn't its with Rouge, and its more like theyre fighting alone but together- if that makes sense. This irritates Amy cause 'arent we friends? friends look out for each other' and he'd be like, ive always been able to look out for myself' and she'll say 'yes but not all of us are Ultimate Lifeforms like you. What's all your power and strength for if not used to protect those who need you?' and once again she reminds him of Maria's promise. She's really good at humbling him and gently or harshly putting him back in his place depending on whats going on.

Amy of course finds herself stumped from time to time and goes to Rouge a lot for advice, to which Rouge is happy to help but says sometimes its best to leave things alone as she's learned to do when it comes to Shadow. Rouge is kinda relived too, now that Amy's trying to take over as some sort of caretaker for Shadow. Takes some of the stress out of the older girl's hair. Amy can't leave things alone though and just pushes and pushes Shadow until he snaps at her and lets her have it. It sucks but at least he's communicating. Again, Amys not one to back down and tells him that what he does hurts her and his friends. Shadow grumbles that he doesnt care but he doooes when it comes to Rouge and Amy, and eventually learns that to have the girls stop pestering him is to just *tell them* what hes thinking or feeling. He learns its just easier to do that than have them bothering him for days and days.

this is a lot of "amy makes shadow a better guy" so let me think of how Shadow helps Amy for once, okay so obvs i think he'd be up to sparring with her on a lower level to help her advance her skills. She becomes a much stronger fighter. Since she doesnt have the speed he or Sonic does, he teacher her to put all she has into her Piko Hammer, helps her go through rigorous training to better wield the weapon in a more convenient manner rather than just swinging her hammer around and wasting energy when it doesnt hit. He'll even rope Omega in who's more than happy to shoot a moving target. Amy will have to skillfully weave and dodge through it all, or use her hammer to block or deflect the projectiles.

I guess he'd tried to teach her to be more careful of the people she trusted, not to trust so easily and openly. But I think she'd be pretty adamant about it, after all, she trusted him pretty much as soon as she met Shadow, and when she met Omega (E 123 Gamma? sorry cant remember if theyre the same character), along with a bunch of other baddies. She's not afraid of getting hurt or being wrong or trying to be the try hard good guy, she cares more about giving second chances to those who want it. Shadow and Amy agree to disagree but its brought up when its relevant.

hopefully this is good enough?? idk the shadamy fanfics i read back in the day, Shadow was either a really emo guy in highschool or some guy in a gang or mafia, and along came amy this really preppy girl who'd bring him out of his shell and into the sunshine, until one day her life was in danger and he'd have to save her, and sonic was either the villian or some asshole jock kid who get jealous now that amy wasnt always on him, or it was shadow's dad LOL that was THE formula for shadamy fics back then.

[residents-of-hells-hotel]

Maybe a Alastor or Husk x reader where they go to a fancy resturant, and their s/o keeps playing with their tail? And they get all hot and bothered like "what the H E LL Y/N" but cant do anything about it because theyre at a fancy resturant, and goddamit y/n they have a reputation to uphold

(bdbxndjvzhdn yESS)

(Done in oneshot format because I found that easier than the bullet points)

(Minor Swearing!)

Alastor

"The Sierra Madre", the closest restaurant to mimic the fancy and cheesy restaurants of the overworld. Surprisingly noble and friendly considering that it was established in hell. If only the waiting times were shorter...

Of course curiosity got a hold of the majority of the demons here and dragged them to this place. It was different than the roudy bars and the disrespectful restaurants that were around. You could hear some others testing to see what made the servers tick. Very annoying to hear, especially when it's the only thing to really focus on in the line besides the scenery and decor.... Surprisingly pleasing, but not very entertaining.

You were studying the details of the rug beneath your feat when you noticed something take hold of your attention from the corner of your eye. Al's tail. You were on a date, nothing new. He was always a charmer and did all he could to make your afterlife in hell a pleasant experience. And it worked. You found happiness in the disaster of a place. But the waiting was torture.

But as his tail twitched you recalled how amusing it was to mess with it. With him. You grabbed a hold of it, a smirk dancing onto your lips the second he jolted. He gripped your arm and looked to you. His expression part confusion. His expression part begging... Begging you not to humiliate him like this in public. You didn't listen though, you knew he could manage it. It's not like he could chase you around like he usually does to tease you back. Not in front of the watchful eyes of strangers.

You flicked at it once, causing him to wince slightly. It wasn't painful, you knew that. Just an odd uncomfortable feeling. But you were hungry for some sort of entertainment. He was capable of putting up with the feeling.

You kept toying with his tail. The movements not sudden enough to draw attention to though. His arm went back to resting around your shoulder. He whimpered lowly every now and again. His face matching the color of his crimson attire. The teasing going on for some time until you were at the front of the line you'd manage to forget about. You dropped your hand finally. Deciding to find amusement at Alastor's attempt to keep his composure.

Husk

You weren't expecting a place so fancy. Not while going on a date with Husk. You chuckled to yourself, he hated that word. "Date". It flustered him. Anyways.

You were already seated, waiting for someone to arrive to hand you your meal for the night. You, like everybody else, found this part to be the worst when it comes to restaurants. You should've brought something to occupy yourself...

The seating was odd, you sat side by side with Husk. Unlike the usual across from your partner seating arrangements every other place had. But hey, the seats were comfortable. But that thought entertained you for just a second. You were bored again. Hmm...

You turned to Husk, who was staring at the wall in front of the table... Well it was just the seat in front of you but close enough. He was bored out of his mind too, deciding to sit with his thoughts to pass the time. His tail swished every few seconds. Amusing... You wonder what would happen if...

You gripped it as you looking him directly in the eye. His head turned to you with shock. "The fuck are you..." he gazed down to his tail that was trapped between your fingers, "The fuck are you doing?"

You didn't say anything as you started to play with it. Batting it around. He turned back to where he was staring. He had absolutely no idea what was happening to him. Confused. Deer in the headlights. He squirmed a bit, wanting to snap but couldn't. It felt so fucking odd to him and he didn't know why.

The waiter strutted up to you, idly standing, asking if the two of you were ready to order. You released Husk's tail as he stared up at them in silence for a moment. "Uh...Yeah" he started as he listed his order. The shocked look still on his face... You should do that more often.

(Sierra Madre was referencing something and not the actual place. Shout out to anyone who can guess it)

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[angrylizardjacket]

and then there was light [3] {Roger Taylor}

Anon asked: Prompt: angst Roger and y/n because he’s jealous after a party

A/N: 5981 words!! What?! Like, it’s not explicit, but I might have given the reader a slight praise kink. Some sexual content. There is mentions of cheating, just to let you know if that makes you uncomfortable. There might be a problem with pacing but like... suspend your disbelief. Also.... you’ve got a big storm coming.

[part 1] [part 2]

Your grip is white-knuckled on the armrest as you felt the plane rumble beneath you; anxiety is clutching at your chest as the world falls away beneath the wings of the machine and you’re rising into the sky. Roger isn’t outright laughing from where he’s sitting next to you, but it looks like he wants to. Thankfully, for his sake, he contains himself, resting a hand on your thigh, rubbing it in a gentle, comforting rhythm.

“You’ll be fine, love, these things hardly ever crash, and if this one does, it’ll make the news, probably.” He shrugged, and you glared at him, trying to push down the anxiety curling in your stomach.

“You’re the single least reassuring person I’ve ever met.” You snapped, but he just grinned wider, his hand moving higher on your thigh, your legs part just a little, out of instinct, and you’re too anxious about the flight to even blush at it.

“I could distract you instead.” He offers, giving your thigh a gentle squeeze. Something eases in your chest and you relax your grip on the armrest to put your hand on his. “Love?” He asks, watching how you’re leaning your head back against the headrest, eyes closed, like you were trying to go to your happy place, wishing you weren’t trapped inside this plane. His hand twitches to move away when he doesn’t get a response, but then your own hand is guiding his a little further up, and you’re wearing a little, playful smile, though it’s strained. Roger has to bite back a laugh.

“Could you please wait until the seat belt sign is off?” John’s voice interrupts both of you, pressing his face into the space between your headrests where he’s sitting behind you, sounding characteristically exasperated.

“Or wait until we land, like any decent human being.” You can hear Brian’s sigh from where he’s sitting beside John, his words followed by a world-weary sigh.

“You were both cuter when you thought we didn’t know.” Freddie says, matter-of-factly, and Paul hums in agreement, the two of them sitting in the two seats in front of you.

“So were you.” Roger snaps back, leaning back into his chair, sullen at the sudden onslaught of bullying from his band-mates. “And get your bloody face away from mine.” He smacks John’s forehead with his free hand, which has the man retreating, but you’re silently thankful. Despite this, you’re also flushing with embarrassment, which is only quelled when Roger flips his hand over on your thigh to lace his fingers with yours, giving your hand a comforting squeeze.

It’s weird, to be in public, well, sort of public, and to be allowed to actually be with Roger. You’ve always been so hyper aware of his image, careful to keep your distance where prying eyes might be lurking, the last-performance kiss notwithstanding, but here, in the relative safety of first class - and god, that was a mind-boggling realisation - he’d wrapped his arm around you. Once the seat-belt sign has been turned off and the in-flight movie has started, he pulls you into his lap on the luxuriously spacious seat. Everyone on the flight has headphones to listen along to the movie, and the plane is almost silent as everyone looks to the overhead screens. It starts innocently enough, except sitting on Roger isn’t exactly comfortable; he’s got one hand resting on your thigh, innocent enough, and the other on the armrest, but you find yourself shifting every few minutes trying to get comfortable, but it isn’t really working.

“Are you right there?” Roger moves your headphones off of one of your ears, speaking low and quiet, only to you. When you look at him, he’s not even looking you in the eyes, he’s looking at your lips, and you feel your chest tighten, though in a very different way to the plane taking off earlier.

“What?” And you shift again, trying in vain to get more comfortable before you feel him hard and pressing against your ass through his pants, and it dawns on you. After a moment, you lock eyes with him, finally, and wiggle again, deliberate, suppressing a smile. He leans in to kiss you, rough, insistent, his hand on your thigh moving dangerously higher.

“Let’s not ruin everyone’s movie,” he breathes as he pulls back, his hand moving to give your ass a light tap, and you take the hint, taking off your headphones and making a beeline for the bathroom. You find yourself waiting for almost five minutes in the stall before there’s a knock at the door and Roger’s whispering your name. You haven’t even fully locked the door before he’s pulling off your shirt, murmuring about how you both had to be quiet, though he was grinning in that way that made you melt, and made you want to be anything but quiet.

When you head back to your seats none of the others comment on it, though they do seem pretty enraptured with the movie. Your anxiety at flying had dissolved; you’re feeling all warm and syrupy in the afterglow, and Roger clicks down the armrest that separates your two seats, and shifts so that you he can still wrap his arm around you, but you’re sitting next to him, your legs stretched out and arching over his. He puts his own headphones back on, smile supremely satisfied, and you give yourself a little, mental pat on the back, but don’t bother with your own headphones, resting your head on his shoulder and falling asleep, feeling secure and safe with his arm around you.

When you land, you find yourself whisked almost directly to the new tour bus, and you suddenly find yourself filled with a new uncertainty. The space, at least compared to what you were used to, was lavish, not a single road case in sight.

“You guys live like this?” You crowed, eyes wide as you raced through the spacious vehicle, plopping yourself down on the cushioned bench beneath the back window while the rest of the band, and the crew travelling in this bus started getting settled in.

“Well yeah, was the other bus really that different?” Roger asks, joining you, sprawling himself out across the seat. The sheer absurdity of his question takes a moment to sink in, but after that you’re laughing, loud and a little bit uncontrollable, mind alight with memories of hot, bump afternoons riding along at the back of the equipment bus, sat atop a road case, holding a light and gels and trying not to touch the drum kit where it was stacked up beside you.

“God, I would have killed for a cushion.” You breathe, wistful, relaxing further, if it were possible, into the seats. After a beat, you look around at where everyone’s gone quiet; Freddie and John were setting up a board game and Brian was lounging on one of the sofas running along the inside of the bus; you’re pretty sure Roger’s the only one who hears you anyways. “I much prefer it to flying though,” you admit, shifting until you can rest your head on Roger’s shoulder.

“Really?” He asked, voice quiet enough that only you could hear it. “I thought it was a pretty decent flight.” And he reaches up to pinch at your side playfully when the bus starts up. The two of you dissolve into play-fighting, which the others don’t pay much attention to, entertaining themselves as the trip to the first destination began.

“You’re- you- they call you Spotlight, don’t they?” The voice that greets you before for the first crew meeting is bright, eager, faintly accented, and when you turn, you see it belongs to a sweet looking boy with big, brown eyes, clutching at a clipboard. Laughing a little awkwardly, you nod, and his whole face brightens at the confirmation. “I’m Robbie; I’m stage managing, and they’ve got me operating the lights.” He sounds so damn excited, it’s a little endearing, and after a beat, he’s peppering you with questions about the American leg of the tour, which you answer with ease.

You’d been worried, not that you’d ever admit it, integrating into a whole new crew; the American tour was staffed with people you’d been working with for years, and here, everything and everyone was new to you. Seeing Robbie smile, so kind and welcoming, it felt like you could breathe.

“How the crew?” Roger asks, and he’s stuck with fond deja vu, sitting behind his drums, watching you cut a whole new set of gels. You’re humming something he can’t quite pick, but you seem happy enough.

“Yeah good,” you concede, only half paying attention as you work, “they’re nice, very welcoming.” You tell him, and he makes his way to you, sitting beside you on the drum risers, picking up some scraps of the gel. After a moment, your hands still, and you watch his, smiling with confusion, before looking at him. “What-” but he’s looking back at you, and he leans in to kiss you once you look up. Putting the gel and the scissors down, you take his face in his hands, giving him an endearing smile.

“I’m working.” You said softly, but he just grinned, leaning in to kiss you again. It’s fun and easy to be with Roger at times like this, times when neither of you had to worry about what other people thought, or who saw you together; you were happy and so was he, and that’s what mattered.

It gets a bit harder, you realise, when in Glasgow you’re leaving the hotel with the band and a few paparazzi come after you; at first they’re shouting at the band but then they spot you where you’re by Roger’s side, trying to keep your face hidden. You see your picture in some gossip rag the next day when Robbie gives it to you with a long suffering and apologetic look. 

“The boss wants you to be more careful about being seen.” He’s rolling his eyes at the boss’s words, however, when you ask him what he means, you learn that you’d been photographed with them in America, and people were starting to speculate that you might be part of the tour group. The Boss thinks it reflects poorly. The rest of the band is in the photo, but you’re the one being accused of being a world-travelling gold digger in the article.

When you tell Roger, or more specifically show him the article and make an offhand comment about not really being seen with the band in public anymore, he throws the magazine across the hotel room, scowling.

“They’re printing lies, Spotlight, what do you care?” He asks. You’re gentle when you step towards him, resting your hands on his shoulders.

“I care about my career and my reputation, Roger, you understand, right?” Voice soft, you don’t move until he looks at you, expression a little hurt. “I know I’m not a gold digger, but if I want to get anywhere in life, I need other people to believe that too.” You explained, and he didn’t exactly seem happy about it.

“You’re fantastic at your job, babe, isn’t that enough?” He asked, and you felt yourself flush, suppressing a grin at the praise.

“I wish it was.” You told him, voice a little forlorn, and he leaned in to kiss you, a silent agreement to your request. After a moment you pulled back, actually letting yourself grin. “You think I’m good at my job?” You asked, giggling, and Roger’s expression brightened as he huffed out a laugh.

“You know I do.” And it’s the most gentle you think you’ve ever heard him, the sweet sincerity shifts as his hands come up to rest on your hips. He knows all too well the effect he has on you when he compliments your work. “How many times do I have to tell you?” He asks, a single eyebrow raised, teasing edge to his tone.

“I mean, if you told me too much I think we both know I’d never get anything done.” And your fingers are nimbly undoing his fly. With a cheeky grin, he kisses you again, rougher, biting at your bottom lip before you pull away.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He muses, watching the way you wet your lips, smiling at him. “You’re very good at other things too, love.” 

“I know.” You watch him through your lashes, biting your lip to keep from laughing as his whole face lights up and he’s snorting out a laugh at your response, and you fall to your knees, already pulling down the waistband of his jeans.

He doesn’t like that you insist on leaving the hotel at different times, becomes a little clingy in the mornings when you go to get up, but he always manages to tug you back down to him, and you get lost in the way he smiles in the early morning sunlight, the feel of his lips on yours, the way he laughs softly against your skin. 

Despite this, he keeps his distance around other people. The band he doesn’t worry about, but he stays up by his drums during lunch, and sometimes during the after parties you attend, he’ll disappear for a few hours at a time, and you find him at the bar, reasonably hammered, surrounded by fans fawning over him. He always goes home with you though, so you try not to feel too jealous.

“Hey, Light? I’m getting lunch, do you want anything?” Things start going downhill the day Robbie pops his head in during your lunch break; you’re at the top of a ladder, fiddling with the angle of a parcan, and Roger’s at his drums.

“No thanks.” You call back, chipper, shooting the ASM a smile, and when he leaves, Roger frowns at you.

“Did he give your nickname a nickname?” He punctuates it with a laugh, but it sounds more angry than anything else.

“That’s Robbie,” your explanation does not seem to placate him. You’d been spending a lot of time with Robbie, the two of you bonding over both having worked on Bowie’s last tour. “He’s German.” You add, as if the fun fact might warm Roger to him.

“I know how to pick accents.” He snapped back at you, and you actually stopped your work to look at him, a little shocked and defensive at his tone. He’s not looking at you, he’s gone back to watching the door.

“He’s the ASM, Rog, chill out, we work together.” You tell him. He doesn’t respond, and all you can do is go back to your work, a squirming discomfort making itself known in your chest.

He disappears after the show that night, not coming to find you after bump out like he usually would, and you try to assume the best; that he’s too high from adrenaline and the endorphins of such a good show that he’d wanted to ride the hype the rest of the band. It wasn’t deliberate, you told yourself.

“You going to the after party?” Robbie asks carefully, hands in his pockets, still wearing his own theatre blacks. You realise you must look a little lost, and when you decide that you are, you tell him, and he offers to walk with him. He’s sweet, excitedly gushing about how he can’t wait for the Munich show so he could see his girlfriend, and you find yourself enthusing about how exciting it is to be travelling around Europe. Once you step foot in the pub, the two of you part ways, Robbie heading for the bar, and you seeking your own boyfriend.

His whole face lights up when he sees you, and the anxiety that had been building in your chest dissipates when he wraps his arms around you, spinning you around.

“I’m sorry, I got caught up.” He told you, but he doesn’t kiss you, just pulls you down to the sofa with him where Freddie’s in the middle of an animated discussion with Brian.

It happens again at the next stop, he leaves you behind and you make your way to the after party talking with Robbie. He’s kind, sweet, looking forward to marrying his high school sweetheart. If you’re being honest, it’s nice to have someone to talk to who understands your side of touring, being another interchangeable face to the talent you’re helping, someone down to earth and . He gushes about how jealous he is of your friendship with the band, starry eyed in the cool night air.

Again, when you arrive at the venue, Roger’s already there, and he doesn’t get up this time, just beckons you to him with a bright smile. It doesn’t ease your discomfort like you hoped his smile would.

“Are you mad at me?” You ask gently one night; the two of you were walking in relative silence, side by side, not touching for fear of paparazzi, you try to justify.

“No, why?” He asked, and you look at him, eyes narrowed as you examine him, and his smile is a little far away when he looks back at you. After a long moment of silence, he takes your hand, pulling you both to a stop, facing each other. He wraps his arms around you, still giving you that far away smile, and he kisses you. “I’m sorry I keep leaving you behind, love.” 

“So you’re not mad at me?” You confirm, stepping back and taking his hand, continuing to walk.

“Of course not; should I be?” And the way he says it, so perfectly fucking harmless, has the hairs on the back of your neck standing up.

“No!” You defend, and he’s laughing easily in the moonlight. 

It keeps happening, sporadically, and it always seems to coincide with whenever he sees you and Robbie together, or Robbie comes in to offer to get you lunch, and you know what’s happening before you dare to admit it.

On some of the nights where you opt to go straight back to the hotel, you’re woken by him flopping into bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him, warm and protective, at odds with the discomfort in your chest.

“Missed you.” He yawns, smelling of alcohol and cigarettes, and one time, of faint, fruity perfume that you don’t recognise. When you ask him, he says that someone spilled a cocktail on him, and you realise you can’t even tell if he’s lying or not. 

“You jealous?” And you can hear the sleepy smirk in his words, and your own tired mind is unguarded, unfiltered.

“A little.” You whisper into the silence of the hotel room. He doesn’t answer you, but his grip on you tightens, and he hums, the meaning of which you can’t decipher. It takes you a long while to get to sleep after that.

It comes to a head a few weeks later, however, the night they perform in Paris.

“I miss her so much.” Robbie bemoaned you as the two of you walked together, his arm tucked into yours as he waxed poetic about his now-fiance. “She sent me a care package and I swear I almost cried in front of the sound operator.” 

“Why?” You laughed, and Robbie groaned.

“I opened it in the bio box because I picked it up from the front desk on my way here, like right after checking in.” By the time you get to the after party, the music is already blaring, and like always, you split up to go your respective ways. Roger greets you warmly, making room for you on the sofa he was sprawled on, wrapping an arm around you as he continued his conversation with a starry-eyed groupie, who didn’t even acknowledge your presence. You make conversation with John, who’s hovering near the arm of the sofa, bopping along to the music, looking a little bit longingly at the dance floor.

Roger goes to get a drink a little while later, smiling and asking if you’d like anything, and as soon as he’s gone, Robbie, now quite plastered, pours himself into the empty seat.

“I called her- Spotlight, I miss her so much - and she told me she loves me and she can’t wait until I get home; should I walk back to Germany? I wanna see her.” He asked, words blurring together a little from his accent and his inebriated state, and he rests his head on your shoulder.

“This is Robbie; he misses his fiance.” You explain to a confused looking Freddie, who’s expression melts into one of adoration, and he ‘aww’s at that. Robbie is starry-eyed for a long moment, before he turns to you.

“Should I walk to Munich? I miss her.” He reiterates, and you burst out laughing, petting his head fondly.

“No, don’t walk to Munich, you should go home, we’ve got a big day tomorrow.” You tell him, and he groans, clearly not having received the answer he wanted. Instead, you get to your feet and offer him your hand. “I’ll walk you back, we’re staying at the same hotel.”

You find Roger at the bar with one of your arms around Robbie’s shoulders where he’s pretty much legless, the lightweight. There’s a muscle jumping in Roger’s jaw when he sees you, and you hesitate, giving him a confused look.

“Hey, I’m just going to take Robbie back to his room, okay? I’m probably going to bed after.” You tell him. He doesn’t smile, just offers you the drink he got you and blinks slowly when you wave it away. “I’ll see you later, okay?” You ask gently, hoping to get a response from him, but he’s just giving Robbie a sour, calculating look. Robbie is transfixed by the lights behind the bar and does not notice.

When you finally get Robbie into bed, much later than you would have thought since he insisted on stopping at everything that caught his interest, and taking five minutes of standing still and explaining how beautiful his fiance’s eyes were, he’s still wearing his shoes. Once under the covers, he grabs your hands and looks you in the eyes, suddenly serious.

“You’re good. You’re a good sort, Spotlight.” He tells you, his accent coming in just a little thicker with his sincerity, and he pets your hands, before abruptly turning away from you and pulling the blankets up to his nose, clearly tapping out for the night.

The room you shared with Roger was just a few floors up, and you’re in the elevator when you realise you’d left your keys in your room. You usually did, you always went back with Roger, so you usually didn’t need them. When you approach the door, you think you hear murmuring from the other side, but it could have been from across the hall, you don’t think about it too much as you knock. There’s a giggled ‘shhh’ from the other side of the door that’s less easy to play off, but you’re tired enough to think it’s just mostly-asleep Roger. You knock again, but no-one replies. It’s too late to knock too much, and you know he’s a deep sleeper, so with a heavy, tired heart, you make your way down the hall.

“What do you want?” Paul’s frowning at you when he opens the door, wearing his blue pyjamas, squinting at you.

“Keys to the bus please, I need somewhere to sleep, Roger’s not answering.” You tell him, and punctuate it with a yawn. After a beat more of watching you, as if assessing your motives, he disappears back into his room and reappears with the keys.

“Don’t lose them.” He warned, before closing the door on you.

The sofa in the bus is long enough that you can spread out, and you find someone’s fur coat to use as a blanket. It’s comfortable enough, a little cold, and it’s only when you hear a banging on the door and feel the sunlight on your face the next morning that you get up.

Opening the door, you see Roger standing there, looking up at you, waiting for entrance. Moving back to your makeshift bed, you take a seat, giving him a confused smile.

“I... didn’t think you’d actually be here.” He already sounds like he’s in a mood, bitter, but a little bit hesitant.

“Of course I stayed here, I knocked but you didn’t answer- what was up with that?” You asked, punctuating it with a yawn, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. He watched for a moment before he slid his sunglasses down his nose to glare at you over them.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, voice a little hoarse and scratchy, moving from hesitant to just quietly angry, the venom in his words hurting like a physical slap, and you sat up straighter.

“I’m-” And you’re searching for the words, but none come to mind.

“Why are you still on this bus?” He explains in a hiss. After a beat, he slides his glasses back up his nose, and turns to look away from you, a clear dismissal.

You’re at a loss as to how to explain that you’re here because... well, you’re always here, it’s where you were now. He’s the one who’d brought you here. 

“What do you mean? You’re the one who wanted me here.” Standing your ground, you don’t dare let your voice betray how confused and hurt you were feeling. 

“Yeah, well now I don’t.” He snapped. His words hit you squarely in the chest, and he leaves you in your shocked, dazed silence, moving to the back of the bus. “Fuck off back to the equipment bus, since you prefer it so much better.” He snarled, and that’s what unfroze you. 

“Christ, I don’t get paid enough to deal with whatever this is and ride in that bus, so that’s a resounding ‘no thanks’. And more importantly; what the fuck has gotten into you?” Emotion comes crashing back into you, rage tearing through you like a tidal wave, and you turn on him, jaw clenched.

“’Whatever this is’” he snorted, low and bitter, “yeah, but you get paid enough to fuck that little, brown-haired cockhead?” He asked, and your eyes went wide.

“Who? Robbie?” You asked, voice dangerously calm. “You think I’m fucking Robbie? Our assistant stage manager? Who just proposed to his girlfriend at our stop in Munich? That brown-haired cockhead?” You snarled, advancing on Roger like a predator cornering her prey, bitter tension gathering across your skin.

“Was he the one crying on your shoulder last night at the after party?” Roger raised an eyebrow, but the sting had left his words. Narrowing your eyes, you confirm with a single, venomous ‘yes’. “Oh.”

“Is that why you locked me out last night? You thought I was-”

“I was angry, okay?” He cut you off, sitting down at the back of the bus, and though his tone is angry, his demeanour, the way he’s avoiding your gaze and fiddling, it’s... almost guilty. In that moment, it was as if you’d been splashed with cold water, an icy realisation slithering down your spine.

“What does that mean?” Voice level, you try not to jump to conclusions, but your heart is already sinking. He doesn’t answer. When he turns away, you see a hickey on his collar that wasn’t there yesterday. “Roger, what did you do?” You asked, and the hurt was already bleeding through into your words.

“I was... I was so fucking angry.” It’s not a real answer, it’s not even a real excuse. The way he says it, jaw clenched, heart in his throat, he’s all but bleeding guilt, too proud to ask for forgiveness.

“Bullshit.” Your can feel tears welling in your eyes and threatening to spill, but your hands are shaking with anger, hurt, betrayal, and you don’t even care. “You’ve been weird for weeks, you were just looking for the first out you could get.” 

“Y/N.” He stands, reaches out to grab your shoulder, but you step back, out of his reach.

“No.” Your voice is firm, but your lip is quivering. “I don’t want you to ever touch me again,” wrapping your arms across your chest, looking at his outstretched hand with disdain through your tears. “Being angry isn’t an excuse. Jumping to conclusions isn’t an excuse. I get that it must be fun fucking around with the girl who makes you work for it by your standards, but,” shaking your head, you sniffle, holding yourself a little tighter with one hand, you wipe away your tears with the other, “the moment you have to work, have to put in a little bit of fucking trust? You couldn’t even do that.”

“Spotlight, please-”

“I’m in fucking Europe for you, Roger! What in your fucking, dumbass mind thinks that I’m someone who travels halfway across the world with someone just to cheat on them?” You’re yelling now, grateful to be alone and worrying that others would join you at any minute. You didn’t want them seeing you like this.

“For me? You’re here for work! I’m opening doors for you in the industry that you’d never have opened yourself!” And he knows even as he’s saying it that it’s the wrong thing to say, but he’s too furious at himself, lashing out at the only person he could. He watches as your expression turns shocked, before shattering, and you start bawling your eyes out, holding your face in your hands. Regret floods through him, but as he steps forwards to comfort you, you yell for him to fuck off.

“I can’t- I can’t leave can I? If I leave the tour, they’ll think the tabloid are right, that I’m some dumb groupie.” And you turn, distraught, and curl up on the sofa along the inside of the bus, still bawling, loud and ugly, great heaving sobs wracking your body as you realise the full extent of what had happened, and what it would mean for you. “You’ve ruined my fucking career.”

“That’s a bit of an overstatement.” He can’t even bring himself to apologise, sitting back against the window of the bus, watching as you curl yourself into a ball, the only sound filling the silence being your sobbing. It hurts, his heart is fucking aching, but he couldn’t admit it. When you raised your head to look at him, your eyes red rimmed and lip trembling, he feels only a white hot guilt fill him from the inside out.

“You don’t get it, this industry is about who you know, and if all I am is some girl who Roger Taylor fucked, flew across the world, and got bored with, it doesn’t matter how good at my job I am, I’ll just be another groupie with aspirations.” And you bury your face in your hands again.

“We could... pretend like nothing happened, until the end of the tour.” He offers, quietly, the weakest hail mary pass you’d ever heard, and you roll your eyes at him.

“I’d rather have my dignity, thanks.” You spat, taking in a deep shaking breath as you finally sat up, wiping fruitlessly at your eyes as tears continued to flow, though you tried to pull yourself together.

“You’re not under contract, you can leave if you want.” And it might literally be last on the list of things you’d wanted to hear at that moment.

“I get it, Roger, you don’t want me around.” You snap, standing. “You are who you are; I was stupid to think you were better than that.” You sniffled. When you turn and leave, he’s silent, replaying your words over and over again in his head until he’s absolutely livid at what he’s done. 

When the rest of the band returns almost a full half an hour later, he’s trashed the entirety of the bus, even going to far as to rip up the cushioning on the bench beneath the back window. 

“So you’ve heard the news I take it.” Brian looks at the scene before them, voice and demeanour both surprisingly nonchalant, and Roger, breathing heavily amid the carnage, gives him a sharp look. “Spotlight’s heading home, something’s come up with her family.” He explains. Behind him, John’s already started picking up a fractured mug, and Freddie is just frowning at Roger.

“Yeah?” Is all Roger says, snatching up the cushions from where he’d thrown them, and flopping himself onto the back bench, facing away from them all. 

“She’s just talking to the production manager if you’d like to say goodbye.” Freddie offers, carefully neutral, and Roger suspects he knows something’s up with the story.

“She doesn’t want to see me.” He huffed sulkily, and the others lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. They can tell it’s a touchy subject but they don’t pry. They don’t hear from you, don’t even know how to contact you if they had been able to, instead they watch Roger pick up different girls night after night, trash hotel rooms, and grow shorter when interacting with the crew, especially the assistant stage manager.

“I am who I am.” Is all he says, lips around a cigarette where he’s chain smoking in the empty theatre at lunch when Freddie finds him and finally asks what’s wrong. Freddie wants to ask what happened, wants to ask why you really left, but he knows Roger well enough to figure most of it out. Roger’s a ticking time bomb nowadays, so he doesn’t pry. 

The band doesn’t talk about you, not when paparazzi and reports yell out asking where you are, not to the crew, they barely talk about you to each other, and they never talk about you around Roger. 

The bus is quieter now.

Roger’s louder now. 

There’s an ache in his chest that won’t go away, that he’s filling with meaningless sex and too much booze because he can’t stand waking up alone, and he still thinks about what you said, and the way you had smiled at him before it all went to shit. He remembers how you’d risked your life for a light beneath his drums, and sometimes at breakfast he finds himself thinking about how you’d thrown a plate of food in his face before you were even real friends, and he wants to yell, to scream, because how could he be so fucking stupid? You’d seen him for who he was, and chose to be with him despite it, you thought he could be better than his reputation, but he’d just managed to prove he wasn’t. 

It hits him when he’s got his hands on some girl whose name he doesn’t know that all he can think about is you, and he hates himself when he leans into the fantasy, not that the other girl notices. He’d rather fuck around than admit he’d developed feelings for you, and so he does, and pretends like he doesn’t miss your sleepy, morning grin, or the casual way the two of you would chat as you were rigging the spotlights for the band.

The day he finds out they’ve replaced you, the kid they’ve got is at the top of the ladder during lunch when he walks in, and he’s hit with such a sense of deja vu that he stops in his tracks.

“I was told this is the best time for me to get work done.” Her voice, thank god she sounds nothing like you, is hesitant, with none of the calm confidence you exuded at the top of the ladder.

“It’s none of my fucking business.” Roger snaps, and turns on his heel and leaves, pretending like it hadn’t felt like he’d just seen a ghost. He gets another drink.

[lu-vas]

do u got any baptiste tips? hes a lot of fun but i wanna get better at him!

ive been practicing a fuckton of baptiste this year and i finally reached 50 hours on him so im excited to share tips. im just warning that i dont play competitive and really just play quick play or arcade but i still work hard and study up to get gud at him despite that. im not sure what baptiste tips you need specifically but i guess i’ll do a Baptiste 101 with each of his abilities

biotic launcher-healing grenades

all i have to say about his primary healing is that it should be 70-80% of what youre doing during the match. also aim it at the ground instead of directly at players so you have a greater chance of hitting them

biotic launcher- damage

his gun is pretty clunky and hard to get used to but once youre decent at it you can be very effective at doing damage, like zen level effective, so make sure to use it when your team doesnt need healing atm

it’s also hitscan so focus pharahs when you have the chance. you can also wipe tracer out pretty easily and be a problem for her if she’s trying to get into your backline (if ur aim is good enough, but its super hard for me lol). also focusing fire on the enemy supports can be really helpful

regenerative burst

since this ability has a long cooldown, my thing with regen is getting as much Value out of it as you can because it helps a ton with emergency healing

if im not solo healing then i usually don’t use it to only heal myself unless its an Emergency. i’ll usually wait until either others around me need healing too or my 2nd healer takes care of me. im also very cheap with it but you know what, this ability don’t come cheap!

best used during intense team battles when your team is taking a shiton of damage as emergency healing along with your healing grenades. when youre pumping the grenades into them coupled with regen burst it can be super tough for the enemy to kill them 

sometimes i use it to emergency heal the squishies around me who are being difficult to hit due to them jumping up and down from taking fire or whatever it is

in theory its good to use before/during one of your dps is using an ultimate that makes them vulnerable (genji/reaper/pharah/etc). it also wont really save you from most offensive enemy team ultimates

immortality field

this ability is the bane of my existence

obv we know its best behind corners during team fights

obv we also know its super effective against a bunch of enemy ultimates (grav, dragons, dvabomb, deadeye, barrage, pulse bomb, tire, meteor strike, blade, blizzard, gravitic flux, shatter, config tank) so tracking enemy ults is helpful. 

timing is also helpful too, e.g., wait till rip tire/dvabomb gets close so the team cant destroy it before they land, wait till youre taking damage from grav/see if youre gonna take any damage at all, etc

throwing it behind a blading genji forces him to have to do a 180 to destroy it & disorients him

you could argue that it’s not as effective against death blossom and tac visor BUT i have a few tips for them

death blossom: i usually wait for during/after the 2nd “Die” to throw down the field, assuming my team has most of their HP already. this means that the remaining duration of his ult has to be spent killing the field, and your team wont have any deaths and will maintain around a quarter of their health

tac visor: this one’s trickier since soldier takes it down pretty quickly. you can wait till he uses a little bit of it to throw it, you can chuck it behind something, you can use it to give yourself/your teammates a little bit of time to get out, its just super dependent on the situation but can be effective if the situation is read right

torb’s lava destroys it (unless you strategically place the drone next to the lava), emp hacks it, bob targets it when he realizes he cant kill an enemy, too much knockback on winston & roadhog’s ults to place it effectively

super helpful when the enemy team is jumping your bastion, gives him the opportunity to just wipe them

super helpful to save individual teammates from potential oneshot abilities like charge, hook, mei freeze, trying to get through a sniper nest. id say doomfist too but realistically it happens way too fast to react quickly enough to it

during team fights i usually wait to use it when the team is taking too much damage that im not able to out heal

a lot of this ability is 1) management and 2) quick reactions and really the only way to get good at those is to practice him!

amplification matrix

use it to either 1) initiate 2) counter-initiate or 3) during big team fights

it’s a throw away ult in all honesty, don’t be afraid to be liberal about its use because youll get it back in like 2 mins

i find that most baptiste players place it directly in front of them but i find it most effective when placed further up in front of the enemy team instead, it gives more of an opportunity to be used by the rest of your team

yes it can be placed in front of you to allow you to emergency heal during big team fights but i have to move around so much at those times that i dont find me getting use out of it from that? im still trying to figure out how to best use it to amp heals but i havent yet :/

comboing with bastion is pretty fun. comboing with mccree, soldier, roadhog, or bastion when theyre ulting is even more fun

im still learning how to best use this ult too, its whats taking me the longest to figure out about bap’s kit tbh

exo boots

this is such a good ability to give yourself high ground so do just that! just make sure youre not isolating yourself to get shot at. getting high ground allows you to see the playing field clearer, give yourself more access to heal your team, keep yourself safe, and throw down immortality field at key moments to save your team (e.g., your entire team getting earth shattered)

also be careful not to be that guy and get sniped because of it LOL it makes baptiste very slow moving and predictable

once you get a finesse for it, you can use it to dodge, avoid damage, give yourself more access to heal, etc, but its all about practice

if you think youre about to get meteor striked, save yourself by charging them up all the way and jumping after you see the red circle. you’ll still take damage but you’ll maintain like 50 something hp

if you cant get out of blizzard you can delay getting frozen by jumping up all the way. you’ll still fall back down and freeze but it gives mei less time to kill you

its good practice to keep to keep it charged at all times just in case (but i dont even do that LOL its still good practice)

thats all i have for now there’s probably many more good tips about him & maybe some of this isnt even right but its what i learned from playing him since his release :) he’s one of my favorite heroes to play and very very fun. not only that but he’s in the current meta for the first time which is exciting. everyone should pick up baptiste!

[a-king-of-otters]

Things I do because I’m blind:

I order the same meal from every fast food place I go to because I’m too embarrassed to say I can’t read the menu.

Usually at Starbucks they have a small sign near the cashier that has the tea flavors, since I usually get tea, and I’m too embarrassed to grab the sign and read it, I say “surprise me” not me trying to be quirky or anything, just me trying to save myself the embarrassment of having to place something 5-7 inches from my face for me to be able to read it. I do the same at similar places, but Starbucks is the main one, and it conveniently has a good example.

I do not walk out into the road unless there are no cars or if I’m at a stop light and the light is red. If I’m trying to cross the street and someone is in their car, I CANT FUCKING SEE WHAT THEYRE DOING. I can’t tell if they have their turn signal on, I can’t tell if they’re motioning for me to cross, I can’t tell if they’re on their phone not paying attention, I can’t tell what they’re doing and that fucking terrifies me. As much as I joke about wanting to die, being hit by a car is not the way I wanna go out, so I never do it. Even if I have to wait 10 minutes for a row of cars to pass, I will not cross.

I will almost always only stare at the ground. No I’m not shy, I just can’t look in front of me without my eyes losing their shit (more than they usually do) and my vision going haywire( more than it usually does). I need to look at the ground, otherwise I won’t be able to see! (Less than usual). And if I grab your elbow or something, please just roll with it, I can’t see anything coming toward me, I can’t see I’m going to walk into a pole unless those things come into my peripheral vision, and sometimes it’s too late. So please help me out. (Sidenote: I don’t go up to random strangers and do this, it’s usually with family members and close friends or partners only. The only time I’d do this with a stranger is if I was on dialators and they offered to help. Which has never happened.)

I am immune to your dumb pranks. You hiding in a closet staring at me, I can’t see you, so you might as well be in the fucking kitchen for all I care. Tape a mask to a window, fucking walked right past it and didn’t see it. Write some creepy shit on my whiteboard in goats blood, looks like a red marker to me so I’ll ignore it. I AM IMMUNE BITCHES.

No, I’m not on coke, that’s just nystagmus you twat.

Yes, I am incapable of holding something still. I can’t see whatever I’m holding moving, and when your vision is shitty so is your dexterity.

Photophobia. It fucking sucks. Ya know those spots you see after you look directly at the sun, or a bright lamp? I see that shit all the time. It never stops. I’m seeing them now just looking at my phone. It doesn’t even stop when the light are off. It. Fucking. Sucks.

No, I don’t have a cane or a guide dog. I can get around on my own with just my glasses (usually with difficulty, or the help do a family member or close friend) and I cannot read Braille, I was supposed to learn in elementary school, but public schools suck, so I never learned and now that I’m older I’m really pissed because that shit would be so useful to me!

I will get on the floor at supermarkets and stores to check the prices of things on the bottom shelf. Somehow that’s less embarrassing for me than in a fast food place, but whatever, my mind works in mysterious ways.

To clarify. I am albino. I have ocular albinism, which is rare on its own, but I have the rare version of that that is able to be inherited by both males and females. Because the normal ocular albinism is passed down in the Y chromosome, so it only affects males, but both my parents were carriers for the rare version, so here I am. Some poor souls with the other versions are born without hearing, or lose their hearing over time, I really hope I’m not part of the latter. This rare version also affects my skin and hair, more specifically the color. I am naturally pale as shit and I have naturally have blond hair (I dye it). That being said, if you saw me your first thought would not be that dudes albino! Cause I still produce small amounts of melanin and my skin has some pigment to it.

That’s all I can think of for now. Just thought id let y’all know what this shit is like for me, cause I see some misinformation out there.

Feel free to add any of your own experiences.

[controloffandoms]

Paparazzi (J.A.)

Prompt: Requested by anonymous for a friend. (I’m sorry, I lost the ask so I came up with this without the prompt)

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader, slight Thomas Padalecki x reader

Words: 3193

Warnings: cursing, Paparazzi, panic, anxiety

Notes: I may or may not have been reading a lot of fics about the daughter/dad relationship between Jensen and his daughter, the reader. For the purposes of this story, Thomas is 17, Shep is 10 and Odette is 5. JJ is 8, Arrow and Zep are 4. Maison is 13 and West is 16. Obviously I’m changing the years of birth :)

Part 2

Ever since you could remember, you had been put in the spotlight. Your father, Jensen Ackles, was a huge star in the show Supernatural and everyone wanted to know about his personal life...and that included you. Not to mention that you had a weird family from the cast of Supernatural. You had your Uncles Jared, Misha, Jim, and so on. You had you Aunts Ruth, Kim, and so on.

The nice thing was that you could shield your younger siblings from the paps. You could almost make their life normal. You were the oldest, you could grab all of the attention in the room in order to keep your siblings at a safe distance from those who would try to get too close to your younger siblings.

You weren’t Danneel child biologically. You did call her mom, though. Your mother had dropped you off at Jensen’s when you were just a baby. That had been eighteen years ago. You’d met Danneel in 2007. It had been a while since your father had met someone and you knew he was seeing someone, but you hadn’t gotten to meet her until about a year after they had started dating. You were seven at the time and loved her instantly. When you turned nine, Danneel and your father were expecting their first child and you finally got your wish for a little sister. When you turned thirteen, you got two more siblings and you loved them all unconditionally.

You would do anything for them. Which is why you were in your current situation. “You remember the store Mom went in, right JJ,” you asked her quickly.

“Yeah, the Victoria Secret store,” she replied.

“Good, take your brother and sister into the store and find Mom, okay? Tell her that we need to be leaving soon,” you gave your sister a tight smile, trying to keep calm.

You watched as they left through the back of the music store. You watched as some of the paps went to follow and you had to think fast. You started playing the piano in a rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody accompanied with the singing. That certainly drew the paps eyes. They swarmed you and you inwardly cringed. You hated singing and playing any instrument in front of anyone, let alone paparazzi.

As you finished the small segment of the song, you stood from the piano and tried to make your way out of the store, but there was no out. Your breath picked up slightly. You hated being trapped. The paps just kept shouting questions at you. Some of them on how you learned to play the piano and sing, others on very personal matters, others you couldn’t distinguish. “I need to go-please.”

You tried to push through the paps, but they kept pushing you back. “P-please, I need to leave. I have-I have to go,” you whispered.

They kept shouting questions and kept preventing you from leaving. Your breathing continued to get faster as tears started to prickle at your eyes. You don’t know how long it was until someone was pushing their way through the crown and putting an arm around your shoulder, shouting back at the paps and forcing his way through the waves of men and women trying to get a story.

Once you were a safe distance from the store, the person stopped walking. “Hey sweetheart, are you alright,” he asked.

“Daddy,” you buried your head in his chest and wrapped your arms around him tightly. He wrapped his arms around you just as tight, placing his chin on the top of your head and talking calmly to you.

“It’s okay, don’t work yourself up. I’m sorry they attacked you like that. I thought y’all would be fine for a couple of hours by yourselves,” he hugged you even closer, running a hand over your back in an attempt to ground you.

“They-they just came out of nowhere and I was-I was with JJ and the twins and I knew that they would be scared if they stayed and I told them find Mom and then some of the paps wanted to follow them so I had to distract them and then they just all crowded me and they wouldn’t let me out and they just kept coming and screaming at me,” you sobbed slightly, holding your dad tighter.

“I’m sorry baby. I should have been there sooner.”

“Are Mom and the kids okay,” you asked after a quiet moment.

“They are just fine. They’re waiting in the car. Dani’s worried about you,” your father responded, pulling away from you slightly. “Ready to go, kid?”

A couple of weeks passed and you were finally feeling less afraid of leaving the house. As you walked through the door of the house after your classes, you were met with an eight year old running into your legs followed by the four year olds stumbling over each other as they ran towards you. “Hello, what’s the occasion for you all to attack me the second I get in the house,” you raised an eyebrow at your parents as they rounded the corner with smiles on their faces.

“Mommy and Daddy can’t take us to the park and said that maybe you could! They have work,” Arrow smiles up at you.

You chuckle but nod. “Hmm, I’ll have to check my schedule. Let’s see, I did have that scheduled tickle monster attack for my siblings at 3 PM, but I guess I could bump that up in order to take y’all to the park, Munchkin,” you raced towards JJ and picked her up, tickling her relentlessly.

“No, stop it! (Y/N),” she whined. You laughed and put her down.

You turned to your parents and smiled, “when should I be expecting y’all back?”

“We will be going to dinner at Jared’s house around seven. Do you think you could bring your siblings over? Dani and I will be coming directly from work.”

“Sure, Dad. We’ll go to the park, maybe get a light snack and either do something in town or come back here until it’s time to come over for Dinner,” you stated.

“Great, thanks baby, you’re the best,” he responded, placing a kiss on your head and doing the same to your siblings.

“Really, you’re amazing. I don’t know what we would do without you,” Dani added as she brought you into a huge hug while kissing the top of your head.

“Mom, it’s not a big deal. I love watching out for the little ones. They remind me of the energy I use to have and wish I could get back.”

“Don’t we all,” she responded.

“Alright, Miss JJ, I need to change and then we’ll head out. Help your brother and sister with their shoes,” you called out. An excited ‘okay’ was called back to you and you went to your room to change.

“JJ, don’t go to far away. I need to be able to keep an eye on you,” you called as you pushed the twins on the swings and JJ played around with a couple of the other kids at the park.

“Single mom,” the woman next to you asked.

You laughed slightly, “no, oldest sibling that only has two hands.”

“Think of it this way, the day you have your own family, it will come much easier after doing all of this now,” she responded, “and I’m speaking from experience.”

“I would hope so.”

JJ came running back over, “can we go get snacks,” she asked, face flushed from the running around she did.

“Yes, please (Y/N),” Arrow yelled, clapping her hands.

“Snacks,” Zep asked.

“Okay then, let’s go find a place to get something to tide you over to dinner.” You grabbed the twins hands and instructed JJ to walk close to you.

You walked a couple of blocks until you found a place to go. “How about we get ice cream? Just don’t tell Mom and Dad,” you winked at JJ.

“Yes,” the twins shouted. JJ nodded, bouncing on her feet. You decided to save yourself some trouble and sit the twins down with JJ in charge of making sure they don’t get up. You went to get the ice cream for the four of you.

You paid for the ice creams and sat a table. JJ took a huge bite out of her cone. You set your ice cream aside and get Zep and Arrow ready to eat theirs by trying to protect their clothes the best you could. Finally, you gave them the cups of ice cream and turned to yours, taking a bite. “Try not to get it on your clothes, Jay.”

You spent a couple of hours walking around town until it was about six twenty. “Okay, who wants to go see Uncle Jared and everyone else,” you asked. You got variation of happy sounds so you headed towards the house.

You were almost there when things turned sideways. You tried not to stop, but they swarmed you. You gave your phone to JJ with your dad’s number already dialed. You put had her get on your back. You put a twin on each hip and hugged them close and they returned the favor by burying into you. The second you heard one of the twins start crying, you lost it.

“HEY! BACK THE HELL UP, YOU ARE SCARING THE CHILDREN,” you yelled. The paparazzi went quiet, but you didn’t stop. “You guys would do anything to get a damn story and I’m fucking tired of it! There are better ways to get your stories than ganging up on people! Back the hell up and let me through or I swear to God it’s not going to be pretty,” you glared at the paps in front of you.

They moved slowly to let you through. JJ quietly handed your phone to you as you moved through the crowd who was slowly starting to get louder. “Dad, yeah. I’m three blocks away. Concord Street. Please hurry, I think they’re gonna start up again,” you quietly whispered through the phone.

Not only were the paps freaking your sibling out, but they were freaking you out, but you didn’t get to hide away from them because you were protecting your siblings. You sure as hell weren’t going to let them be even more freaked out by the jackasses.

You backed up from the paps-who were starting their shouting again. “You want a story? Why don’t you write about how paparazzi don’t understand the term ‘personal space’ or how the paparazzi are willing to scare the hell out of three children in order to try and get the juiciest story? I don’t care if you swarm me when I’m alone, but don’t you dare do it when I have my siblings with me! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

More questions were shouted your way and you ignored them. “You wonder why no one wants to talk to you and this is why. You take and take and take and never give back. You do anything for a story that isn’t even true. You twist the words and situations and you give bad reputations to people who deserve so much better than that. Fuck off and stop scaring my family,” you growled, chancing a look behind you to see your father, Jared, and Misha hurrying towards you.

You placed Arrow and Zep down and they ran to your father. You let Misha take JJ and Jared took care of you. Before you could completely walk away, you turned back and got out of Jared’s grip. “And another thing, why don’t you try being decent enough human beings to try and get the stories straight. Stop scaring the shit out of people and book an appointment to talk to someone. Or is that too complicated for you to follow? You should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves! You made children cry, you scarred them and for what? For me to yell at you? For me to yell at you and you to make up a story about how mentally unstable I am? To shine a bad rep on my family? Yeah you should be fucking ashamed,” you growled and let Jared lead you away.

You climbed into the car, biting your lip. All attempts to talk to you slowly died out once you got to Jared’s house. You quickly got out of the car and walked into the house. You bypassed Dani and the others, heading straight for a bathroom. You locked the door behind you and looked into the mirror. You hadn’t realized you’d started crying.

You wiped your tears and let out a couple of shaky breaths. You turned the sink on and splashed your face multiple times before wiping it off. You looked at your form in the mirror, seeing the shaking easily and you took a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

A knock shook you out of your head. “Just a minute,” you called out quietly.

“It’s Tom, open the door, Ackles.”

You debated for a minute before unlocking the door to let him in. He walked in, closing and locking the door behind him. You had sat leaning on the cabinet before Tom had turned to look at you. He joined you on the floor, sitting close enough so that the sides of your bodies barely touched.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Tom spoke. “They don’t know when to stop. They don’t know boundaries and they think that they can do anything. I’m scared of them too. I hate being in the spotlight. It’s okay to be afraid,” he stated.

You leaned a head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist, “I know...it’s just like they’ve been targeting me and Jay and Arrow and Zep and they freak me out but I can’t show that to my siblings or else they would be even more scared. So I push it back and handle it. Then it all catches up and it crashes down all at once,” you whispered back. Tom’s arm pulled you closer, his head resting on top of yours.

“It’s going to be okay. They’ll find someone else to chase after soon enough.”

“But they shouldn’t! It’s fucked what they’re doing and they know it. They made all three of my siblings cry today, Tom! That’s not alright,” you brought a hand to your face, wiping away your tears.

“I know that. Them making you cry isn’t alright either...but there’s not much we can do about it. We just have to keep moving on and making sure you and your siblings are alright.”

You sighed and nodded slightly. “Yeah...but I need a moment to pull myself together,” you responded.

“And I’m right here to help you get it together.”

Everyone had decided to stay at Jared’s for the night. He had plenty of rooms to share anyway. You couldn’t sleep though. The paparazzi swarm had really gotten to you. Slowly over dinner, you had forgotten about it, even if it was just for a little while, but now it was coming back full force.

You got yourself up from the bed and quietly made your way to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass and filled it with water. You sighed and leaned against the counter. “Couldn’t sleep,” Tom asked from the doorway. His tall frame was covered in shadows.

You shook your head. “My brain won’t shut off,” you whispered.

Tom walked into the kitchen and began getting things out from the cupboards. “I have an idea.”

You shook your head as Tom started putting ingredients into a bowl. “You are insane, Thomas Padalecki,” you laughed and started to help him.

You relaxed into the couch, Tom sitting beside you as you both were eating the cookies you’d made and were drinking the milk. “I’m surprised, they actually taste good,” you looked at Tom.

He fake gasped and placed a hand to his heart, “I’m offended. I am a wonderful cook and baker.”

“The last time you cooked, you burned the pasta.”

“That was one time,” he quietly exclaimed. He placed an arm over your shoulder and leaned further against the couch.

You relaxed even more against him, feeling sleep pull you in. “Thanks for this, Tom. You didn’t have to stay and put up with me,” you yawned.

“I’d do anything to see that beautiful smile on your face,” he responded as you fell into the arms of sleep.

You slowly woke to the sound of muttering voices. As you slowly became aware of everything around you, you felt the arm around your waist. You could also feel the mattress below you moving….wait, that wasn’t a mattress. You opened your eyes and squinted at the light. Somehow during the night, you and Tom had moved to lay fully onto the couch with you on top of Tom.

The voices got slightly louder as they entered from another room. “We should wake them up,” your father stated.

“It looks like they had a long night, Jens, let them sleep,” Gen replied.

“Yeah, let them sleep,” Tom’s chest rumbled under you. His voice was deeper from lack of use. His arm around you tightened slightly as he started to doze off again.

You flushed slightly and bit your lip. “You should see your faces,” Misha lost it. Curious, you looked over the couch to where your father and Jared had varying degrees of shock, excitement, and amusement on their faces.

“Your faces are kind of funny,” you mumbled and placed your head back on Tom’s chest, feeling the tiredness sink in again.

“Oh no you don’t,” your father responded. “Time to go (Y/N).”

“I don’t want to,” you grumbled and snuggled more into Tom’s chest, wishing to go back to sleep. You heard multiple choked laughs at the response. You assumed your father was giving them a look that made them try to be serious.

“Tom, (Y/N) needs to go,” Misha stated.

“No,” he responded.

You laughed quietly. “We can do this again sometime. We can talk later,” you whispered, not really wanting to make your father angry.

Tom made a sad noise but his arm slowly released you. He sighed and sat up. Because you were on his chest, you went with him. “Hello there,” he smirked as your faces were inches from each other.

“H-Hey. Um, I have to-I’ve got to g-go,” you quickly got off Tom and leaned down to give him an awkward hug. “Talk to you later,” you rushed.

“Yeah,” he smiled genuinely. “Maybe next time we won’t be so rudely interrupted,” he smirked.

Your face flushed even redder and you made a couple of unintelligible sounds. “I-uh-I d-don’t think-that’s not-I-bye Tom,” you stuttered and hurried out of the room, catching small glimpses of the adults’ faces. Most were close to cracking up. Jared had a proud but amused look on his face and Jensen’s was stone hard. This was going to be a fun ride home.

Supernaturalites

@dragon-star-light @lifelovelaughangell123 @clarinette07 @jessikared97 @the-wintergirl

[bittysvalentines]

If Pies Could Talk

Happy Valentine’s Day, @BajillionKittens!  I think I hit all of your requests, so I hope you enjoy the fic!  Thanks to Georgia and Silvia for organizing everything again this year! 

Love from @aflailureandamasterpiece aka Julibean19 

If Pies Could Talk (also on AO3)

Summary: Jack wants to ask Bitty something but he can’t find the words. If pies could talk, they’d call him a lovable failboat.

Zimbits, Explicit, POV Jack, Bottom!Jack, Communication Failure, Baking Jack, Cuddling & Snuggling, Special Appearances by Dex and Señor Bun

“Bits?” Jack asks, gently pushing unruly blond curls off Eric’s forehead.  “Time to get up.”

A soft, negative noise meets Jack’s ears as Bitty groans and rolls over, showing Jack his back.  

“I know it’s early, bud,” Jack says, lifting his comforter back and sliding into bed behind his boyfriend.  “But it’s not checking practice early… it’s 9 a.m.”

“It’s Saturday,” Bitty protests, pulling Jack’s arm around his waist and shuffling backward into his chest.  “It’s the day of rest. We’re resting.”

“Isn’t the day of rest Sunday?”

“Do not chirp me,” Bitty mumbles, barely turning his head toward Jack, eyes still closed.  “It’s five a.m.”

“It’s nine.”

“Do you want to argue or do you want to cuddle?”

Jack smiles, leaning in to press the tip of his nose to Bitty’s hairline and taking a deep breath.  Exhaling, he kisses the side of Eric’s throat, delighting in the happy murmur and wriggle of appreciation it gets him.  “I want to cuddle,” Jack whispers, still smiling.

He set an alarm on his phone anyway.  They have time. Settling back into his pillow, Jack pulls Bitty tight to his body and lets his eyes fall closed.

When his timer goes off forty minutes later, it feels like it’s only been a few seconds.  Jack groans and reaches for his phone, eager to stop the pop music that’s blaring from the speakers.  “Did you change my ringer to Beyoncé?” he asks, opening one bleary eye to silence the alarm.

“It’s Nicki Minaj, you heathen,” Bitty mutters, rolling over to face him.  

“It’s terrible,” Jack insists, dropping his phone back onto the nightstand as Bitty’s fingers slip under the hem of his tee.  “Crisse, your hands are cold.”

“Feel like warming me up?” Eric asks, apparently much more awake than Jack is.  

“Just come here,” Jack says, sliding one arm under Bitty’s neck and pulling them flush together.  He hooks his chin over Eric’s shoulder and curls around him, rubbing soothing circles against his lower back.

“This is nice,” Bitty says, sighing contentedly, letting himself sink into Jack’s body.  “We should do this every morning.”

“If we did this every morning we’d never make it to Faber.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Bitty says, breath hot against the side of Jack’s throat.

“Coach Hall might have something to say about it.”

“Well,” Bitty says, nipping Jack’s skin, “he’s not here right now.”

“That would be awkward.”

“I’m trying to set a mood here, Mister Zimmermann.  Work with me.”

“Oh,” Jack says, feeling his face heat.  He had been enjoying their morning snuggles so much he hadn’t noticed the hardness growing against his hip.  

“Yeah,” Bitty says, breathy and low.  “Oh.”

Before Jack has a chance to respond, Eric is rolling on top of him, straddling his thighs.  He looks up to see the sunlight bouncing off Bitty’s hair, giving him an ethereal glow. The effect is gorgeous and has Jack flicking his eyes to his phone and considering pulling up his camera app.

“I want you,” Eric says simply, biting down on his lower lip.

Smiling, Jack crooks his finger at him until he drops down low enough to kiss.

The moment Eric’s lips meet his, Jack melts, sinking deep into his pillows.  He runs his palms under Bitty’s sleep-worn shirt and splays them across his back possessively, moaning into his mouth.

Eric hasn’t brushed his teeth, but Jack did just before waking him, so it’s easy to ignore in favor of sucking on his tongue.  It’s hot, but slow—a deep kiss that Jack can take his time with. He pulls Eric in even closer and sucks on his bottom lip until Bitty is whining into his mouth.

Eager to find what other desperate sounds he can pull from Bitty, Jack reaches up to cup the back of his head before rolling them over and settling his hips between Eric’s thighs.

“Lord, I love when you do that,” Eric breathes, eyes fluttering shut as Jack slides his hands up his stomach, taking his shirt with them.  

“I love when you wear my clothes to bed,” Jack says, pulling the old Habs tee over Eric’s head.

“If we could turn up the heat once in a blue moon maybe I’d sleep naked.”

“I’ll consider it,” Jack breathes against Bitty’s exposed stomach.  He nudges one of Bitty’s nipples with his nose before wrapping his lips around it.  It might be nice to sleep wrapped around a naked Bitty, but Jack also likes what they have—a warm cocoon of bedding and threadbare pajamas—a twin bed just barely big enough for two.

“Fuck, Jack,” Bitty whines, arching into his mouth.  

Jack switches to the other side and sucks until Bitty’s hands fly up to twine into his hair, not pulling, but tensing every time a shiver runs through his body.  Letting out a satisfied huff of breath, Jack pulls off and follows his hands down to Bitty’s waist, licking and biting a line down his stomach on the way.

“Will you blow me?” Eric asks, trailing his fingers along the curve of Jack’s jaw.  “Your mouth is so hot and wet. God, it feels so good,” he says as Jack nibbles along the waistband of his borrowed flannel bottoms.  

Jack sighs.  

If only he found it just as easy to ask for what he wanted.  It’s not that he dislikes doing this for Bitty—quite the contrary—but there’s something else he’s been dying to try.  He just hasn’t been able to get the words out yet.

Hooking his thumbs into the elastic, Jack pulls Bitty’s pants down, lifting them up and over his erection and then down to mid-thigh.  He leans back for a moment just to look his fill.

Eric’s thighs are trapped together by the elastic, but otherwise he’s exposed, golden skin on display for Jack to admire.  His forearms look pale in comparison, and Jack marvels at the soft hair that sits below Eric’s navel, leading to his cock.

“God, I want you to fuck me,” Bitty sighs, looking down at him with his lower lip caught between his teeth.  

“Later,” Jack says, leaning down to get his lips around the head and lick at the bead of fluid at the tip.  The salt hits Jack’s tongue and he can’t stop the groan that builds in his chest at the taste.

Eric squirms below him, so Jack drapes his forearm across Bitty’s stomach and presses him back into the mattress.  He sinks down lower, taking more of Eric into his mouth before licking back up.

Bitty breathes hard above him, already panting before Jack even really gets started.  They’ve been doing this for a few months now, but every time with Eric feels like the first time—eager and a little sloppy, but also brilliant and intense and all-consuming.

He takes Bitty deep, relaxing around the stretch in his throat when Eric jerks under him, sitting up so abruptly Jack chokes before he has a chance to pull off.  

“Sorry, sorry!  God, I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Bitty says, thumb rubbing across Jack’s wet lips.  “It’s just… do you smell something burning?”

“Tabarnak!” Jack curses, dropping his head to Bitty’s bare thigh in defeat.  He groans, high and pained as he shakes his head back and forth. “I’ll go check.”  Pulling away, Jack rises to his feet and slowly marches downstairs, furious with himself.

By the time he reaches the kitchen, Dex is pulling the charred remnants of a pie out of the oven and Bitty is hot on his heels, redressed in his pajamas.

“I’m so sorry Bitty,” Dex sighs, placing the burnt wreck on the stovetop with Bitty’s cherry print oven mitts.  “I thought I’d gotten the temperature to stay even this time, but it must be on the fritz again.”

Jack rubs his fingers over his temples as Dex retrieves his toolbox from the hall and pulls out what he thinks he’ll need.  “I’m really sorry about your pie, Bitty. Once I get it working again I’ll take you to Murder Stop & Shop for some more butter, okay?”

“That—” Bitty stops short, peering over at the blackened crust.  “That wasn’t my pie. The lattice looks nice though. Which one of y’all found my vlog?” he says, voice raised to call through the Haus this time.  “If I find the link on Twitter, I swear to Beyoncé I will end you.”

“It’s not—” Jack hesitates, hand clasped warily over his eyes.  “I made it,” he finishes, voice so low he can barely hear it over the pounding of his own heart.

“You… you made this?  Jack, honey,” he says, fingers catching Jack by the wrist and pulling until he stops covering his face.  “Did you make this pie for me?”

Jack nods, unable to find any words to explain further.

“Dex,” Bitty says, fingers now intertwined with Jack’s, “Thank you so much for tryin’, but I don’t think Betsy’s broken.”

“Are you sure?  Because the temperature has been all over the place and—”

“I distracted Jack.  He made that pie for me, but I burnt it.  Betsy’s working just fine. Isn’t that right, sugar?”

Jack nods, looking up just in time to see Dex’s face flush under his freckles.

“We’ll clean this up later,” Bitty says to Dex, reaching out to shut the oven off before pulling Jack by the hand all the way back upstairs to his room.

When they’re finally alone, Jack collapses against the back of the door, his entire body shaking slightly.

“Do you want to tell me what all that was about?” Eric asks him, hands on his hips.

Jack opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.  

“Honey, what’s wrong?”  In just a few steps, Eric is directly in front of him, cupping his cheeks and tilting his face up.  “Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Taking a deep breath, Jack steels himself.  “I was trying to—”

He can’t do it.  It’s not happening.  This was all a stupid idea and now Bitty’s looking at him, wide brown eyes soft and expectant and Jack can’t say it.  He can’t say anything at all.

“Trying to what, sweetpea?”

A long minute passes before Jack can bear to open his mouth again.  “I wanted to ask—”

“Jack,” Bitty says, breath catching slightly on his name, “please tell me that was not a proposal pie—because as much as I love you, I am nineteen years old.  That would just be too much for us right now.”

“No,” Jack says, clearing his throat.  “No. I wasn’t trying to propose.”

“Jesus Christ on a cracker, you had me worried.”

“Not that I wouldn’t—”

“We will have that conversation later, mister.  Much later,” he says firmly, but with a sweet smile that speaks to their bright future together.  

“Okay,” Jack agrees readily, taking a deep breath.  They really are getting ahead of themselves.

“What’s this all about then?”

Jack sighs, resigning himself to embarrassment.  “You know sometimes words are hard for me.”

Bitty nods, tangling their fingers together again.

“I thought maybe if I made you something… you would… ”

“Be able to read your mind?” Bitty says, with a fond laugh.  “I love that you tried to bake for me, honey, I do. But even the perfect raspberry pie isn’t going to be able to tell me whatever it is you want me to know.”

“It sounds so stupid when you say it like that.”

“It’s not stupid.  It’s actually kind of adorable, but I’d rather you were comfortable enough to just tell me what you’re feeling.  How can I make this easier for you?”

“I don’t think you can,” Jack says, voice barely above a whisper.

“Okay,” Bitty says, pulling Jack’s hand again until he stands.  “I have an idea.” He locks his door and flicks the lights off before leading Jack over to his bed and pulling the curtains shut.  

Jack gets in as soon as Eric yanks the covers back and relaxes into the mattress only after Bitty is curled around his back, tucking the duvet around them tight.

“Sometimes the hard things… they’re easier to say in the dark,” Eric tells him, breath hot and comforting against the back of his neck.  “So we’re just going to lie here for a while and if you feel like you’re ready, you can tell me. I promise I won’t laugh or be upset or anything.”

“I don’t—I didn’t think you would laugh.  I’m just nervous,” Jack tells the darkness.  Light still peeks through around the curtains, but he closes his eyes and pretends it’s midnight, that they’re alone in the Haus, that his words will never see the light of day—will never leave this room.

“Here,” Bitty says, reaching behind him and returning with Señor Bun.  He presses the doll into Jack’s hand before pulling the duvet up around their shoulders again.  “He’ll make you brave.”

“Now I feel weird,” Jack says, huffing out a laugh.  “I can’t talk about sex with him looking at me.”

“So this is about sex, huh?” Bitty asks, taking Señor Bun out of Jack’s hands and setting him on the window sill facing away from them.  “What Bun doesn’t see can’t hurt him.”

“He’s seen a lot already,” Jack points out.

“Well, if things are about to get kinky, I’d rather keep him in the dark.  Whatever it is you want, I’m sure we could work something out. So why don’t you just tell me?  I promise to keep an open mind.”

“It’s nothing kinky,” Jack says quietly.  “I don’t think it is, at least.”

“Then what has you so nervous?”

“I don’t know.  It just—Parse didn’t—” Jack can’t finish the thought.

“It’s something you feel like you shouldn’t want?  Because Kent didn’t?”

“I guess?”

“Honey,” Eric breathes, snaking a hand under the hem of Jack’s shirt and resting his palm against Jack’s bare chest.  “Whatever it is. I won’t judge you. I just want you to be happy.”

“I want…” Jack takes a deep breath just as Bitty presses his hand tight against his heart, pushing them together.  The pressure is comforting, grounding. Jack takes strength from it and finally finds his courage. “I want—I need you to make love to me.  I need you to fuck me.”

Bitty sucks in a surprised breath and then lets it out slowly, the air ruffling the back of Jack’s hair, making his skin pebble.  He leans in until his lips are just grazing the shell of Jack’s ear and asks, “That’s what you want?”

“Yes,” Jack says, a tingle shooting down his spine.  Heat spreads through his body as Eric hitches his hips even tighter to Jack’s ass, betraying his arousal.  

“All you had to do was ask, sugar,” Eric says, voice pitched low.  “I’d be a fool to not want to make love to you. And I am many things, but I’m no fool.”

“Please,” Jack whimpers, all shame gone.  The tone of Eric’s voice coupled with the insistent press of his erection has Jack hard and leaking already.  When Eric’s teeth come down around the tendon in his throat, he whines, unabashed. It sounds pitiful, but he doesn’t even try to muffle it.  He wants Eric to know how badly he needs this.

It’s a matter of seconds before they’re naked, clothes flung to far corners of the room, duvet lost on the floor.  Jack wouldn’t be surprised if his Habs tee was ripped at the collar considering how forcefully he yanked it off Bitty’s body.

Bitty preps him quickly, the both of them too keyed up to take their time.  As Eric slides a condom over himself, Jack feels an ache deep in his body, a ravenous, empty pain that has him hitching his knees up to his ears.  

Biting down on his lip, Eric slowly pushes into him.  He takes several measured breaths and then begins to move, absolute filth spilling out of his mouth.  In a matter of seconds, Eric is tensing above him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you’re so fucking perfect, baby,” is the last thing Jack hears before Bitty buries himself deep, coming in rhythmic pulses inside him.

It’s over before Jack feels fully satisfied, but that just makes his hunger pangs more pronounced.  He ignores them knowing Bitty will be ready again soon enough—that he always has more stamina the second time around.  Jack is already the first to know what Bitty feels like when he orgasms—the first to hold Eric inside his body. He shouldn’t be greedy, as much as his body begs to differ.

As fingers quickly take the place of Eric’s softening cock, Jack thrusts down hard remembering all the ways Bitty has explored his body—has touched every inch of him.  Eric knows him now… knows everything.

He comes with three fingers spreading him wide and Eric’s name on his lips.  

Neither of them touch his cock.

It’s messy and overwhelming and everything a first time should be.  

Jack can’t wait to do it again.  

“Thank God you burnt that pie,” Bitty says, breathless, as he flops onto his back next to Jack.

“Why?”

“If you came at me with a perfect raspberry pie right now after what we just did I’d think I was still dreaming.”

“Well, we’re out of raspberries now, but I could go to the store…”

“Jack Zimmermann.  What did I do to deserve you?”

“You taught me to make pie in the first place.  It was really all your fault,” Jack says, resting his head on Eric’s chest, a slow smile spreading across his face.

“I can’t believe you’re chirping me right now.  You’re the one that made me a ‘Please Fuck Me Pie!’”

“I can’t believe you didn’t know I was flirting with you that whole class.”

“I thought you were just really concerned about your GPA,” Bitty whines in embarrassment.

“Thank God we got an A,” Jack says, copying Eric’s turn of phrase.  “If we didn’t maybe we wouldn’t be dating right now.”

“You’re saying Betsy brought us together?”

“I’m saying I think we owe Dex a thank you gift.”

Thanks for reading!  Happy Valentine’s Day!

[skizmin]

you’re my favourite constellation.

stargazing!au, friends to lovers with han jisung

(this giF IM SCREAMING CUTIE)

request from @straybin: Can I request a stray kids jisung friends to lovers star gazing au! Your aus are super sweet I loved the seungmin one!

(thank you so much ily 💝💓💖💕💞💘💗)

alright lets get straight into it

so youre a highschool student with an affinity for astrology, like, you love it

for your birthdays you get astrology books and maps and even once a really cool telescope!!

its just what you love, okay?

anyway, recently youd moved in with your cousin who lived alone and needed a roommate, plus it was closer to your school than your own home.

you parents practically shoved you in there with short notice (at least they were paying rent and grocery expenses) and you were like well okay

you didnt mind your cousin at all, but she can be a bit excitable and overbearing sometimes but you have to deal with it really

“dUDE i gotta show you something follow me”

you were unpacking when your cousin said this, you set down your telescope and followed her out the front door. your cousin lived in an apartment block basically, she was on the third story out of five. there was a very cute young family across the hall from you guys n stuff

anyway she kept going up and up these stairs and you were like where the fUck are we going im so tired

she laughed and said you were almost there and proceeded to push open a big heavy door

wow

you were in complete awe

in front of you was a massive open roof, the setting sun and the wide sky completely in view from all points, and when you looked up? oh my god it just seemed so clear

“you like stargazing dont you? youre allowed to come up here all you want as long as you dont make a ruckus yeah?”

you agreed, smiling W I D E and attacking your cousin in a hug

like,, two weeks later?

you still hadnt gone stargazing on the roof yet

on top of moving in and mid term school, it was a struggle to deal with so you just didnt have the time at the moment

untillll you had a falling out with a friend. it wasnt anything too serious but a few hurtful truths were said and the added stress of everything else going on, it was just overwhelming

so when you got home that afternoon, you packed a small box with your telescope, your notebook and pens, a couple of your astrology study books and two big blankets

then, after you made and ate dinner with your cousin, you made a big cup of hot chocolate (or coffee or tea or a moccha, whatever you prefer) and told your cousin you were going upstairs and youd probably be back late so youd take a key in case she was asleep

your cousin agreed and watched you balance the massive mug and your box in your hands and also the two big pillows you spontaneously grabbed as you walked out

arriving on the roof, you laid everything out, not bothering to set up your telescope just yet and you sat back sipping your hot drink

you didnt know when you started to cry but it happened, and soon enough you where silent sobbing on your own letting out a few sniffles here and there. life was just too busy and overwhelming at the moment

it was about half an hour later when you stopped sobbing, you were still crying, wiping your tears from your face every minute or so, this was when the door to the roof opened and shut

you thought it would just be your cousin so you stayed still and aited for her to find you and comfort you

the the felt a foot hit your thigh and heard a whisper shout of “hoLY FUCK”

you sat up, hastily wiping your tears as you tried to see the dark figure in front of you, they had turned on their torch and were now shining it directly into your eyes

“i am so sOrry i didnt even see you there, were you sleeping? oh god i cant believe i just almost stepped on you- wait? are you crying? oh my god”

it was some sort of god in front of you, you were sure. perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous doe like eyes, soft cheeks and pink lips. you were pretty much mesmerised, even as he crouched down in front of you

“hey, im sorry. i really didnt mean it its just dark out, are you okay? i didnt hurt you did i?”

he sounded so unbelievably guilty that you felt bad, snapping out of it you responded with a choked out “im sorry, im fine, its okay!”

the boy in front of you smiled out of relief, eyes lingering on you before looking at the set-up around you

“im jisung, i live on 2nd floor. i havent seen you around before, i didnt know we had new neighbours”

he looked at you and tilted his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a slight pout. your heartbeat involuntarily picked up at the sight

“oh! im uh- im y/n, i just moved in with my cousin y/c/n, she lives on third floor...” you awkwardly and shyly looked down to the ground, hastily tidying up the mess of notebooks and your hot drink as he replied

“oh! y/c/n! i know her, shes really nice. how old are you? you look a bit younger than her honestly” his brows furrowed further and he smiled lightly when you looked up at him, he was still crouching in front of you

“oh, im 17, she lives closer to my school than my parents and she needed a housemate, so here i am!” you laughed really nervously and looked down at your fingers again

jisung smiled to himself, ah, theyre cute

“oh, im the same age then!” he laughed before looking away slightly, asking the difficult question, “are you sure youre okay? you look like youve been crying,”

dread crushed your chest, he’d seen you crying, this was really embarassing for you

“oh nothing! i was just- uh, i was just a bit stressed is all” you held your breath, hoping jisung wouldnt pry any further, you really didnt want to talk about it

he laughed good heartedly, “ah yeah, we all get a bit like that sometimes. what are you doing up here though? its freezing, are you studying or something? waiT IS THAT A TELESCOPE?!”

it was your turn to laugh, this kid was really positive and seemed to know how to take a hint

“im stargazing! my cousin said i could come up here but, if you need to roof then dont worry ill go down its no porblem”

you looked at his face this time as you spoke and oh my god stop smiling at me like that 

“stargazing? thats so cool! dont worry, i only came up here for some fresh air, my housemates are a bit loud. so what, do you just look at the stars and planets or?” he finally sat dwn next to you. “can you show me a constellation?”

you giggled and nodded, you whole body tingling because of the close proximity of your bodies and the idea of the stereo-typically romantic thing you were about to do. “we need to lay back okay?”

you laid back, he followed, his head was lost to to yours and his hands rested on his stomach, he turned his head to look at you

m i s t a k e

you didnt turn to him. you were bright red at the feel of his breath fanning across your face you kept your head straight on the sky

“now what?” he softly whispered it to you, your stomach violently dipped and your heart practically stopped

youre all “uhhhh uh- well, uh, you just um- see that sorta diamond of stars over there? and then it sorta uh, has a triangle on top?”

jisung follows your line of eyesight and tries to focs on specific stars that make out the shape, he sees it “oH! i see it!”

“yeah, thats lyra, its a harp basically.”

jisung squints and you lightly turn your head to him, not fully, just enough to see his face. “oh, it does look like a harp i guess, whys it there?”

“it represents the lyre of orpheus, who was a greek poet and musician, he was killed though...”

“wow, thats sad but also so cool...” jisungs phone buzzes, you see its a message from someone called minho, asking where he is

“crap, y/n, ive gotta go but um. i really liked talking to you and im really interested in the stars now, it seems like theyve all got stories. would you mind teaching me again sometime?”

he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly

“oh! um- yeah of course i will, i mean, yeah definitely!”

you realised you didnt have his phone, so you couldnt really get your number for him

he saw you looking and spoke up “uh, maybe just next time, um, come and grab me? my apartment is number 6, im almost always there if im not at school really. just, whenever youre going up and you feel like some company, come knock on the door or something?”

you smiled, the thought made you nervous but you did want to see jisung again. “okay, of course.”

he smiled brightly at you, you cursed your heart again, “great! ill get going then, dont stay for too long okay? youll get a cold.” he stood up and waved to you

“bye jisung!” you call out softly as he walks away

you leave not long after he left, it felt boring on your own suddenly. you didnt even remember youd been crying at all, it felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders.

you slept so easily that night, dreaming of the stars and jisung.

a week and a half later? it was a friday night 

you were packing your box to go stargazing again when you remembered jisung, you wanted to bring him along with you. he might be busy, but you packed an extra couple of blankets and soem pillows and placed them just inside your door before you went downstairs to go and get him

you were so nervous as you knocked on the door, preparing for utter embarrassment. the door opened up tho

“oh, youre not the complex owner thank god.” you were greeted by someone possibly younger than you, he had reddish hair and a sweet smile. “how can i help you?’

you tried to block out the screeches coming from inside the apartment, you could hear about five voices screaming at once “im uh, im y/n, im from upstairs? i was wondering if jisung was here at all?”

he smirked, like he knew something you didnt. “sure one sec, im seungmin by the way.” he turned away from you and screamed into the apartment “jiSUNG, SOMEONES HERE FOR YOU, HURRY UP.” 

“coMING!!” was heard throughout the apartment followed by a “fELiX gEt ofF Of mE” and seungmin smiled awkwardly at you before a head popped past the wall into the entrance way

“oh! y/n! you came!” he tried to walk over to the door but you noticed a body dragging on his legs.

“jiSUNG PLEASE DO MY CHORES FOR ME.” the boy yelled at jisungs feet

seungmin laughed, looking at you saying “ill leave you to it” before jogging over to a tangled up jisung and who you presumed was felix and tearing felix from jisungs body, dragging him away

“uh, sorry about that, hes lazy and pathetic.” jisung laughed, so did you

“i was just wondering if you were free? i was about to go up to the roof..”

jisung smiled brightly, “of course, let me get my coat and phone.”

once he was ready you two went up to your apartment, you told him to come in and wait a bit while you made him a hot drink of hit choice, then you grabbed some pillows and your box and you both walked up the remaining flights of stairs to the roof

it was the beginning of a tradition really, youd go down and grab him, his housemates would call for him as soon as the saw you, before he left theyd whisper things into his ear that made him blush but you simply shrugged it off

after about two months of going up to the roof together, you admitted to yourself that you liked him

a lot

you liked his smile, his voice, how he was endlessly making you happy, you liked he warmth of when hed lie next to you and the way he’d rest a hand on your lower back, guiding you up the stairs. you liked his goodbye hugs and the way he’d hold your hands the one week you couldnt find your gloves. you liked how he was so interested in the stars like you, but you considered giving up looking at the sky to simply look into his eyes because they held galaxies within them. you liked the way he’d whisper your name to check if you were awake and the gentle touch of his fingertips when he brushed your hair out of your eyes

you liked him so much, you couldnt deny it. it crushed you in a way, you thought he would never like you back, and you increasingly got more nervous and drifted away bit by bit

one night, you were up on the roof and jisung sighed loudly, you asked him what was wrong

“can i rant a little bit? please?” jisung had puppy eyes as he sat up and looked at you, you sat up as well and nodded for him to go on

“ah, this is hard,” he started before looking at the pot plants next to your set up that were the centrepiece of the rooftop, 

“i um, basically i like this uh, this person right? i like them as more than a friend,” your heart clenched and dropped to your stomach. oh. this was heart break. “we’ve been friends for a while and i thought, well, yeah i thought id been quite obvious with my feelings. i hoped that their shyness was them maybe reciprocating my feelings but? maybe not. lately theyve just-”

jisung huffed and looked up at you again, your heart got caught in your throat, you could see he was nervous about telling someone about his crush and he looked sad talking about the unfortunate circumstances

“theyve been distancing themselves from me. they flinch away we i try to be more affectionate and- and they just dont seem like they like me anymore. not even in a romantic way, in a friend way. and im just upset i guess. ive never ever liked someone this much before, every night im filled with these feelings of just wanted to cuddle with them and take them on dates and hold their hands and- and kiss them. the whole package. it hurts, y/n. why dont they like me?”

the sad feeling you was feeling showed in your voice as you replied. “youre a great person jisung, theyd be an idiot not to like you, seriously. i cant think of someone more deserving of love than you.” you tried to nervously look into his eyes

“then why dont they like me y/n? no one ever likes me.” he was still looking down onto the ground

“i like you jisung.” 

oh no

oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no W O R D   V O M I T

you clenched your eyes shut, your heart was beating rapidly, you cant believe you just said that when hed just been speaking about liking someone else. you wanted to cry, to bury yourself alive, anything to get out of that situation.

“really? what?” he snapped his head up, staring at you wide eyed and shocked

“nevermind jisung, forget i said it, i didnt mean to make it awk-”

jisung cupped your cheeks, you felt his warm palms and cool fingertips before you felt his lips, slightly chapped yet soft

your mind was going crazy, you barely managed to move your lips along with jisungs before he parted away, still holding your cheeks and smiling widely

“out of all the stars in this world, youre the brightest y/n.”

you died inside before realising he liked you, all the things he said earlier were about you

jisungs eyes were hopeful, happy, loving, especially when you smiled at him so purely

“jisung, kiss me again.”

and he did, pulling you into his lap and letting you tangle your fingers into his hair

he even kissed you outside your apartment, giggling in happiness and tugging you into his body before saying goodbye

jisung couldnt remember a time he’d been this happy, and honestly, neither could you.

finish!! hope you liked it omg

[writeouttaluck]

Here is a story about my friend getting hit by a bus and then haunting said bus, per her request.

(this probably has a whole lot of spelling mistakes and stuff, but thats because i didnt feel like editing it. enjoy)

Two older men sat in their chairs in front of the bus depot. From their spot, they overlooked all the buses lined up beside each other. Today was a hot one, but otherwise, it was a pretty standard day.

All of a sudden they were both alerted to the sound of a Diesel engine. They glanced at the entrance to find a bus driving in pretty fast. The front of it was covered in something red and the driver behind the wheel looked really panicky.

When the bus stopped and the engine was shut off, the driver swung open the door and nearly sprinted out of it. He ran directly for the hose and bucket outside.

One of the older men just sipped their beer and watched, the other picked up a news paper. Neither of them seemed real concerned.

The young bus driver ran back over with the bucket full of water. In a quick motion, he threw its contents onto the front of the bus and started scrubbing the area with a sponge like his life depended on it. One of the old men set down their beer on the pavement and got up from their seat. He walked over to see what the bus driver was up to.

As he got closer, he quickly realized that the red stuff on the front was not quite what he imagined. It was thick, and syrupy, and it just swirled around on the surface instead of picking up.

The bus driver caught the old man watching him and in a quick motion, he spun around and faced him. He looked terrified.

The old man was still nonchalant about all this.

“What happened?” The old man asked.

“Oh, boss, it was horrible! I-I was doing my scheduled run around the city when all of a sudden this girl just ran out of nowhere!” The bus driver could hardly get the words out, he was shaking so bad.

“Ah, ok. I dont need to hear anymore. Well shit. Its been awhile since this happened…”

“Am I going to jail?!” The bus driver asked in fear.

“What? Of course not. Go grab the pressure washer from out back and use a lot of soap. Blood doesnt come off easy.”

The bus driver stopped for a second and looked at the old man in confusion. Was he crazy?

“S-sir… that woman was killed!”

The old man shook his head.

“She either killed herself or it was natural selection...did anyone see you?” He asked.

“I uh….I dont think so?”

“Great,” the old man started, “clean your bus and continue your run.”

…

It took longer than expected for Terry, the bus driver, to clean his issued vehicle. It was about an hour and a half washing job, and he was still pretty shaken up over it. He just couldnt get the image out of his head.

Like any other morning, Terry drove his bus down down hill to meet his first stop. It was a pretty quiet stop as not many people really used it. most people that lived in that area either drove or walked to work and other places. The bus just wasnt needed as much. Even though the stop seemed to be pretty empty, he figured he would stop there just incase someone was right by or running late. It happened sometimes.

What didnt usually happen though, was someone running into the street. Terry’s heart sank as he watched this small woman run directly in his line of drive. He slammed on the brakes though he knew he wouldnt be able to stop in time.

Everything slowed down as he watched the girl. She looked up at him from the road and smiled wide. She even moved her arms outwards like she was about to hug someone before it happened.

The bus hit her and her body flew out to the sidewalk, a crumpled heap of nothing. Blood had exploded all over his windsheild.

“O-Oh my god!” he yelled.

He knew that if he stuck around that he would get in trouble so he did what all people do when theyre scared and ran. He drove down the rest of the way and made a beeline for the bus depot.

The whole drive there he was gagging and crying and shaking and pretty much having a breakdown.

“W-what the fuck! What the FUCK!”

He shook his head and decided that before he went back to work that he was gonna get a cup of coffee. He hopped off his bus once more and went inside the building for the bus depot. The old man sat back and was doing something on the company computer. He looked away from the screen and watched Terry walk across to the coffee maker.

“Be careful about the coffee maker today. Its been a lot hotter than usual today. I think somethings wrong with it.”

“Yeah, sure” Terry responded.

Terry drank a lot of coffee so he was sure that it wasnt that bad. He grabbed a syrofoam cup and poured his coffee in before stiring in some suger and popping a lid on. He grabbed the coffee and actually started to feel the heat through the cup. It burned his hand a bit. Damn, maybe the old man was right. He wrapped some napkins around the cup before picking it up again. As he turned to walk out, he faced the old man.

“Well! Back to work!” He said sounding exhausted already.

The old man chuckled a bit.

“You will do fine, kid”

…

Terry was back in his bus and driving to his scheduled spots. He had the hot coffee sitting in his cupholder with the tab up so it could cool off. If it was too hot to touch, it was probably too hot to drink.

He went to stop on another hill across town. He slowed down before his brakes shuddered and his cup holder that extended outwards, broke free. Terry flinched as he expected boiling hot liquid to burst into his lap. But when non came, he glanced at the cup holder.

It had broke away completely. But his coffee cup and the napkins wrapped around it, stayed levitating in place.

He looked at it in wonder, trying to figure how tf his coffee was floating.

All of a sudden, he felt a cold chill run down his spine and he shivered. He grabbed the coffee cup out of the air. And like that, the cold went away.

Terry spoke out loud to himself.

“Well that was fuckin weird…”

…

Later on in the day, he was driving his bus with a few passengers scattered throughout. There was an old lady, a mother with her kid, and a teenage boy with his hood up listening to his headphones.

It was rush hour now and the streets were pretty busy. Terry was already behind schedule, but he had been rushing to make up for it all day. He even cut a few corners and took side streets when he could.

At the moment, he was speeding up the street. Not too fast, but not exactly safe either. He was going about 50 when a big pick up truck pulled out of an alleyway and right in front of him. In a panic, Terry swung the wheel to the left in an attempt to avoid an accident. As he started left, a car in the left lane beside him was almost shoved off the road and into a high curb. He quickly realized that there was no way out of this when he felt the cold again.

The wheel was yanked out of his grip and his first thought was that he had lost his power steering.

However, as he fought the steering wheel that seemed to be steering itself, the bus swung around the pick up and past the car beside him in a near miss of a maneuver.

When the bus straightened out, the cold faded away and he regained control of the steering wheel.

Once he realized that everything was fine, he looked in his overhead mirror to check on his passengers.

“Is everybody alright?”He yelled to the back.

The mom, while she looked a bit frightened, nodded her head quickly while the old lady just smiled. The teenager in the back didnt appear to realize what had just happened at all.

Terry let out a sigh of relief and kept on his way, making sure to stay the speed limit.

…

This was the part that Terry always hated about his job. The last stop was near a really bad neighborhood and, considering he was about an hour behind, it was now dark outside. He gave out a long sigh and drove through the area. Cars sat on cinderblocks, garbage fires raged about in the alleyways. Most of the streetlights had that old, orange glow to them. Most of them flickered.

The bus stop was right ahead and Terry noticed a group of young gentlemen sitting on by, watching him pull up intently. Something about the way they watched him come to a stop unsettled Terry. He didnt have a great feeling about this.

He stopped the bus and opened the door and the gentlemen climbed on. However, instead of moving to a seat, they stopped up near Terry.

Before he could say anything, one of them whipped out a large knife and aimed at him.

“Close the door and drive, fat man”

Terry, feeling now obligated to follow the mans request now that there was a large sharp object aimed at his neck, did exactly as he was told. As soon as the bus started moving again, One of the men moved to the money box and tried opening it.

“Hey bus man, open yo fuckin box here”

Terry now started sweating as he realized he cant.

“Uh, S-sorry fellas! I cant do that. Its locked and the only key for it is at the depot.” He spoke trying to keep his eyes on the road.

“Bullshit!” the 3rd man in the back said.

The guy with the knife tapped the blade on the box.

“Open this box, before i open you.”

Thats when Terry felt a cold chill for the 3rd time today. Only this time, It seemed to be coming from the door instead.

The blade in the mans hand suddenly bent itself all the way to the left, before snapping off completley and skating towards the back of the bus.

“What the fuck?” the Criminal said.

“Im tired of fucking around!” the 2nd one said. He drew his gun and aimed it at the lock box before he felt something hit his wrist hard.

“Fuck!!” he yelled in pain as he dropped his pistol.

The third man watched as all of this continued while he stood against the door, still on the stairs.

The door whipped open and he felt something grab his tank top from behind. He was suddenly thrown from the moving bus. The other two men turned to look at what was happening before the bus braked hard. The two men were thrown against the glass of the windsheild. Then, the gas got stomped down and the two men were flung into the metal bars behind them, getting knocked out cold.

They slumped to the floor of the bus.

Terry watched as they were flung out of the bus like their friend before. The doors slammed shut behind them.

At this, Terry wanted to know what the fuck was going on with his bus.

He drove up ahead a bit before pulling into an alleyway and stopping. He stood out of his seat and flipped on the overhead lights.

“Ok, What the fuck is going on here”

He felt like an idiot when he got no immediate response.

“I know theres something here. Dont play dumb with me. Ill have this fucking bus scrapped!”

Again, no response.

Terry was about to give up and drive back to the depot when a mysterious fog formed from nothing in his bus. The temperature dropped drastically. It wasn't just a cold chill, it was freezing.

The windows fogged over, blocking his sight to the outside world. He started rubbing his shoulders as he began to regret his thirst for knowledge.

A large puff of smoke plumed from the back of the bus and a figure moved through it.

Terry was one step from attempting a jump out of his windshield before he gave the figure a closer look.

The figure was the girl from this morning! The one that ran into his bus!

“Ayyy, what it do.” She spoke waving off the fog with her spector hand.

“Its fucking smokey in here, what is up with that”

Terry felt a mixture of fear and confusion at the sight before him.

“Y-y-youre t-t-t-that g-girl-!”

She cut him off real quick.

“Yeah, heh, sorry about that. I didnt realize what kind of mess my body would leave like that”

Terry was 90% sure at this point that he had finally lost his marbles.

“Anyways,” She continued on, “Im a ghost now, and since you were able to help me end my shitty existence like that, I want to help you”

Terry gained a bit of confidence at these words, for whatever reason.

“Help me with what?” He inquired.

“With your job, dude!”

Terry stood for a moment and thought about it.

“So let me get this straight, You want to help me with my job because you were able to kill yourself using my bus? Is that right?”

The ghost, unnecessarily leaned her shoulder on one of the metal poles in the bus.

“Yeah, thats pretty much it.”

“Huh...:” Terry thought aloud.

They both sat in silence for a minute before Terry shook his head.

“Wait, wait a second. How do i know youre really a ghost and that this isnt just some wild guilt hallucination?”

To answer Terry’s question, The ghost walked forward and moved straight through Him. Terry grabbed onto his own body and twisted in horror before The ghost walked back through the same way.

“Alright! I believe you! Enough of that!” He yelled.

“So, we got a deal?” The ghost asked as she raised her hand up to him in proposition.

He grabbed her hand, somehow and shook it.

“Whats your name, anyways?” Terry asked the spector.

“Jada” the ghost responded.

[vivilice]

Regret (1)

No warnings

Genre: romance, Otherworldy, fantasy, LGBT+

A wind swept paper petals up towards the sky. A grand castle surrounded by a red sky lay in silence. The servants and stewards of this place all have a fabricated hearts. Only three residents carry a body of flesh and blood. A human with eyes of God and one arm. Who carries a promise with the two others. A dragon who has been around the longest and watches the other two from afar. Who carries his hobbies with vigor. A demon born from resentment which took a paper rose as his vessel. Who keeps the title of Devil and would rather spend time with the two others than those from outside.

The living room was dimly lit. Rosell sat on the windowsill one foot dangling down and with crossed arms. He looked outside at the rain. Hell was soaking with sound of roaring thunder in the distance. It was pleasant to hear. Really making the comforts of home more cozy.

“Wow, it’s thundering like crazy out there. I wonder if it’ll come closer.” A bright young woman sat down beside the Devil. Her peach skin illuminated every time a bolt of lightning lit the sky. Her long unruly blond hair fell nicely on her shoulders. Her smile warmed the Devil who she called brother everytime he looked at it. 

A nice scent came sneaking in on them. It came directly from the kitchen which was placed beside the living room. A young looking man came strolling in. He wore a blue dress with a nice fluffy jacket, an apron and oven mittens while carrying stew. A long blue and white tail closed the kitchen door behind him. His slitted eyes screamed mischievous and his grin was painted a bright red.

 “Food’s served.” He sang. The young woman, who was named Dina Ravenwood, who sat beside the Devil got up and darted to the dinning table. The man with the dragon’s tail, named Ikle Raveice sat down beside her and served her a portion of his cooking. He looked at his younger brother who still sat at the window. “Come eat with us already! I made your fav stew, you know.” Rosell Chartam Ibaraki, the Devil of the Fabricated Hell, stood up and sat down beside Ikle.

The little family sat and ate. Chatting about Dina’s school, about demonic affairs, about fashion and then. Dina,“Oh yeah! Today in religion I got in a heated discussion with two of the boys from the other class.” Ikle sniggered, “Wow, pro’lly ‘cause they had their own version of the Devil and such, huh? Not like anyone know the right answer right?” Ikle said, elbowing the Devil. Dina laughed and stuck her tongue out for her dragon brother. “Why are you booing me I’m right!” Ikle’s use of an old meme earned him another elbow.

“Actually,” Dina began after she had stopped laughing. “We were talking about resentment toward God and how The Devil...is driven by only that, hate.” Hearing Dina say that Rosell could only keep eating. 

A shadow fell over Rosell’s features and he stared out of the window again. Ikle gulped loudly and gestured for Dina to change subject. Dina however, was quite nosy.

“Rosell? I argued against them because I know better, right.” She continued. Without hesitating Rosell answered, “Nah, they’re pretty much right. But you know that too. If it wasn’t for that god-for-nothing, i’d-“ Dina, “You’d what?” Silence feel over the room. “Isn’t that quite dumb?” Rosell turned his head, seething anger started to rise. he clenched his fists.

Dina’s face was stern and Ikle could only sigh. “Dina.” Rosell began, trying to keep his voice calm. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You know what he did.”  Dina was relentless, “I know he killed them. But didn’t you kill his forces too?” Rosell became angrier, he almost said something until Dina said, “Didn’t you want to be able to be left unrestrained? Is this your anger? You didn’t know any of them! Neither the circumstances surrounding why God saw it as a necessity to... ok I won’t defend mass murder. But... you hate a guy you never really met. And for what? The resentment your predessecors formed you from?” 

Silence filled the room after Dina spoke. Suddenly, a loud humm broke out. Rosell turned his head and was met with the biggest “I told you bro!” Face from Ikle. 

All the anger which had been built up suddenly dissapeared as if a witch had swung her staff. It dawned on Rosell.

She was right.

Ikle looked at Dina who returned the look. Then back to Rosell who stared at his plate Suddenly, Dina couldnt take her brother’s silence anymore. 

“Uhh, Rosell? Sorry, I just wanted-“ Dina didn’t get the chance to finish. “You’re right.” “Huh?” It blurted from Ikle. Rosell rested his chin in his hand and looked troubled.

Rosell, “You’re absolutely right.”

~

Footsteps rang out throughout the Heavens. A colorful seraph darted around God’s abode to try and find the lord. Finally, after opening the absolute last door in the whole palace the angel found God.

A big white coat, with splotches of dried paint, floated around a being with a dimmed aura. With colorless hair tied loosely by the neck, held by a huge bead. A young man rotated his body to show a patchwork of vitiligo on his skin. Big round glasses surrounded his eyes which were two differen colors, one blue one and one purple. He broke into a smile, “Miza!! What is it?” The seraph stood straight and answered, “Young lord Bell, I-I believe I found Strezia’s daughter!!!!”

Colorful eyes widened and the smile became bigger. The God jumped into his angel’s embrace and celebrated with gusto, jumping up and down. “Are you for real?! Then what are we waiting for? Hurry and let’s go already!!!”

The seraph staggered and tried to readjust themselves, “Bell,uh Bell. Remember. It’s the human realm we are going to. You need to hide your aura!” Baltazar, the God of The World of Allure smiled, “Well, I think I will need your help... you know. My art block and all.” The seraph called Miza didn’t answer. Only giving a knowing nodd and then the two were on their way.

~

“What do you mean you can’t tell me?!” Baltazar almost started crying. The lady behind the counter  couldn’t help but fidget while Baltazar got closer and closer up in her face.

“Bell... calm down. They can’t just give out the information like that.” Baltazar turned to look at Miza, “But, but. Then how will we...” “Excuse me, sirs?” Both turned to the lady, who was in charge of the orphanage register. “Like I said.” She began. “I can’t just give out addresses at random. And since you can’t prove that you’re related to this woman, then it doesn’t look good for your search...”

Baltazar’s face turned gloom. It was like all the color around him died out and became grey. 

“But there might just be a way.”

Instantly, Baltazar’s face brightened up. The woman behind the counter turned in her seat and began pressing keys on her computer and click around with her mouse. 

“You see... five years ago. A woman related to miss Ravenwood came to search for her as well. She left her business card. It’s all I can give you as of now.” She reached for a file and pulled out a small dull business card.

Baltazar took the card and thanked the lady profusely. Then he darted out the door with Miza dangling behind him.

“So... huff, huff what now?” Miza inquired. Baltazar stopped on a sidewalk and turned to Miza, “Hold out your hands. I need some inspiration.” Miza held out her hands and they both closed their eyes. After minute standing like that, earning the two weird looks from pedestrians they knew where to go.

~

Penelope power walked down the lane in centrum. She kept looking at her watch and walked faster and faster. She had done it so many times that even her stilettos gnawing at her heels wasn’t a bother anymore. Just slap on some patches and then she would be fine! Oh well, she also had to call Dina and wish her luck on her test and then there was that new apartment opening and then. Umpf!

Penelope, “watch were you’re going!” Staggering back from the impact Penelope surveyed the person in front of her. Messy, oversized coat, bleached hair, smudged glasses, and ... heterochromia? Without noticing Penelope had begun to sneer at the jaywalker. “Uh... I’m! I’m so sorry.” The man begun to bow up and down. So much that Penelope felt nauseous just looking at the other, she asked him or was it a her? To stop.

After the person stopped Penelope made her way to leave until her wrist was grabbed. 

Big mistake.

Penelope had practiced martial arts since grade school. She was quite proud of her hand palm block and wrestled the attacker’s hand backwards. A pitiful scream was released and people around the two stared in disbelief. This attacker had to be a man. In Penelope’s opinion it was always men who gave the most ear-piercing scream.

While Baltazar’s soul was about to leave his body, a new guy appeared. “Wait, ms Ravenwood!” Penelope looked at the newcomer. With disdain she said, “Who are you and why do you know my name?” The new guy straightened his back and answered with a slight tremble, “Please, we uh, we wish to speak to you. About Dina.” With those words Penelope let Baltazar go.

~

“You’re Dina’s father’s acquaintance?” Penelope asked and sipped her free coffee, the two others had brought for her.

The attacker was named Baltazar and the other one, who Penelope had thought to be man, Miza. Both sat opposite from her inside a coffee shop. 

The two nodded and Baltazar began, “Yeah, we got your business card at the register. We really didn’t want to bother you... or maybe, just bother you about Dina.” He shrugged helplessly.

Penelope sighed, “I see. Next time don’t jolt me like that. I nearly got a heart attack, you know!”

Both bowed their head to apologize. 

“Well, never mind anymore.” She said to make them stop. “I just need to know if you have any proof of your relations. You must know I just can’t send any stranger over to my niece.”

Miza had an aha moment and rummaged around in her purse. “Is the person on the right familiar in any way?” She asked, while pointing to a picture of two people she pulled out of her purse.

Penelope’s face dropped. 

She asked for the photo and studied it close.

  “It really... is her. Marie...” Penelope said, caressing the picture with her free hand. Her eyes got glassy.

“I see. Only two copies exist of this one. That’s what Marie told me... very well then. Tell me what you want with Dina and then I’ll tell you we’re to find her. But i warn you!” She said, pointing with a stern finger. “If i hear you tried anything fishy, i’ll find some means to drag you two through Hell! If not Dina’s brothers does it first!”

Baltazar held up his hands and broke into a big happy but nervous smile, “We! just wanted her to know about her father and maybe get closure to questions she may have...”

Penelopepaused. then she smiled and then wrote down an address. “She lives with her adoptive brothers. Get along with them and then you’ll get along with Dina.”

~

The building in front of God and his seraph were quite foreboding. Vines crawled up the walls and held the building in a tight embrace. The leaves were so dense it was hard to know which color the house originally held. 

Baltazar started to sweat. He strolled nervously up to the entrance and was about to knock when he heard incoming footsteps. 

“I’ll be back later dolls, I just need to...” a young blondie opened the door and was met by Baltazar’s stupefied look. Miza straightened her uniform and looked directly at Dina.

Baltazar, “May you be... miss Dina Ravenwood?”

Dina closed the door somewhat and hid behind it to shield her.                     “That depends on... What business you two may have...”

Baltazar fretted And didn’t know what to say. His divine power revealed her identity, however he couldn’t just reveal his true form to her. She may be the daughter of a seraph but she shouldn’t get scared.

“Ah! I’m so sorry. Let me introduce me and my companion. I’m Baltazar Farver and this is Miza.” Miza bowed slightly to Dina, “How do you do.” She said.

Dina opened the door some more to look better at the two oddballs on front of her.

“We! Uh, we are acquainted with you dad and we wish to tell you about him and maybe get to know...you?” Dina’s eyes lit up, then she became more apprehensive.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth.” Baltazar looked at Miza in defeat. Miza took the hint and coughed slightly, “Miss Ravenwood. We only have this picture of your mother together with your father.” She gave Dina the picture. Dina’s blue eyes shone like small stars and she looked at the two more brightly. 

“Thank you so much!!! Please, come in come in. I’ll be happy to know you! My brothers are not home yet but they’ll be home soon!” Miza and Baltazar breathed out in relief. They began to step into the small house.

An array of demonic aura appeared on the floor inside the hall the moment the two divine beings stepped inside. It forced God and the seraph to reveal their true selves. Baltazar looked at Miza in horror. The array and the sudden change in atmosphere revealed that they were no longer in the second realm. They had entered Hell, the third realm.

Baltazar had a look of horror spread out on his face. Slowly, he looked at Dina who had sprung back after the array had activated. It held Baltazar and Miza in an iron grip making the two unable to move. 

Dina was frozen to the ground. She looked at the God and the angel for a long while. Unable to say anything. 

Meanwhile, piles of questions weighed down on God’s mind. Why was a human child living in Hell? No, why i Strezia’s child living in Hell? Does her aunt know? Is she a prisoner to an evil demon? Will demons gather now that two from the first realm had appeared?

Baltazar’s train of thought stopped abruptly. He was let down along with Miza and the two looked with surprise at Dina. Dina stood still. And then she lifted a finger to her lips. She then gestured to the two to follow her.

~

Dina poured three cups of tea with an apologetic look. The two heavenly beings were astounded. Dina had been adopted by two demons who now acted as her guardians. She was apparently also dating another demon and was quite happy with her life.

“And that’s really it.” She finished, “Look, I don’t want to hurt you and I’ll be more than willing to hear about my father. I’ve always wondered what happened.”

Miza had on a face of grave seriousness, “Miss Dina. Our presence here... It might cause some... people. To find rather... what do you say? Complicated. We don’t wish to engage in any hostility with your brothers.”

Dina smiled with relief, “That’s good to hear. I’ll make sure you’ll get out of here safely. But please, meanwhile. Make yourself comfortable.” Baltazar quickly took her up on her words an munched on a cookie he had been offered. Miza shot him a menacing look and Baltazar realized he probably took it a little too well. being in Hell and all.

He sighed and smiled. He’d better get on with it, “You see your father-“

“WHATSUP SLUTS! BIG BRO’S BAAAA.....aaaack.” A boisterous woman kicked open the door to the living room. Her voice was as dark as a man’s. She stopped immediately when she saw the angel and the other divine who sat with Dina.

Everybody turned to look at the newcomer.

Sweat began to form on the lady’s forehead and she cleared her throat, “Haha, welcome dearies.” she had completely changed her tone to a more fairer one. 

“Oh Dina, I didn’t know we would have guests. I would’ve dressed for the occasion.”

Dina abruptly stood up, “Ah! Sis! Eh, these two know about my dad!” The lady blinked, “Really?” Suddenly her demeanor changed and she slowly got over and sat beside Miza. “Well, if you have something to tell about Dina that I don’t know. Then I would like to hear as well. The names iklea.” She held up her hand for Baltazar to shake. 

“Hello there, the names Baltazar.” Miza quickly shot Baltazar another look. And he retracted his hand. While giving the sister an apologetic look. 

Wait. didn’t Dina only have brothers? Balthazar thought.

Iklea looked like she tried to hide her displeasure. Looking thoughtful she sat with crosses arms. “Well, anyways. Didn’t you want to talk about Dina’s dad?” She asked, quite annoyed.

Baltazar cleared his throat, “Yeah! uh, yeah. Sorry.” He then began to tell about Strezia.

“Your dad’s name was Strezia. She was one of the most creative seraphs in my court. Oh, I have a picture.” Baltazar procured a picture of a beautiful fair-skinned lady. Her body was totally covered in a white uniform, with dried paint on. Her hair was even longer than Dina’s and her eyes were piercing as if she was looking directly at the viewer. Her eyes were the same as Dina’s.

“Uhh. Mr, Baltazar?” Dina asked hesitantly. “Isn’t this a picture of a woman?”

Baltazar blinked, not once but twice before Miza shot him another glare. “Oh yeah, you father was actually a woman.”

Dina looked slightly surprised. She looked at Iklea then back at Baltazar. “My father? Was a woman? And an angel at that?” She was sounding rather sceptical. Balthazar didnt blame her. But the God did wonder. hadn’t she been living with demons!

Baltazar, “Well, its not hard to change gender when you’re an angel. Or a demon for that matter. And I know for a fact that Strezia loved to explore the nuances of existence.”

Iklea smiled and put an arm around Dina, “Reminds me of someone i know.” She winked. “Excluding the shapeshifting part.” The siblings grinned at each other. 

Miza looked at the picture and sighed, “Strezia was like an elder sister to all of us.”

Balthazar looked fondly at thepicture too, “When she told me she had fallen in love with a human woman I tried to warn her.”

Dina, “Warn her? About what?”

Baltazar looked down, “Humans don’t live forever... I was afraid she would get hurt and then... Look, Strezia wasn’t aware that your mother was pregnant. If she knew...” Baltazar could feel tears forming. He quickly wiped them away.

Dina’s face was frozen, “Mr, Baltazar? Sorry I’m asking but... my father, you address him in past tense could it be that...”

Dina didn’t say anymore. Baltazar lip quivered. He tried to pull himself together. Miza put a hand on Baltazar’s back. Dina took Iklea’s hand and Iklea squeezed it back.

~

Shadows swept the halls of the Fabricated Castle. The light from the mosaic windows danced around and found a silhouette which appeared at the end of the stairs leading to the main hall. 

Red eyes surveyed the foyer and the gaze went towards the living room. 

Hearing unfamiliar voices the silhouette took on a more human appearance with a nice blazer and matching pants.

He opened the door and first saw his sister Dina and then Ikle, “I’m back.” He said, then stopped in the doorway. When the guy opposite of Dina turned around something deep inside of Rosell sank.

Voices. Voices which had been hidden away since he met Dina returned. 

Kill. Kill. Revenge. Chance. Take it!

“Ross-!” Dina yelled and got up. Iklea, who really was Ikle, hurried to make  Dina stop before she finished the name. 

Rosell’s eyes were fixated on Baltazar. 

The God he had spent centuries getting to. He now sat in his living room. Free from his court’s protection.

He had never been this close. So close yet...

Balthazar, “Hello, you must be Dina’s brother. I’m Dina’s father’s Uh... acquaintance.” The God got up from his seat, turned to Rosell and smiled.

The dread dissipated.

Rosell, “Dina’s?”  

Rosell looked at Dina and Ikle who were about to burst.

He then took a looked at the seraph, who was also present in the room.

It seems like... there was some explaining to do.

Dina’s elder brother took off his coat. A small smile formed on rosell’s lips.

“Where are my manners. You can call me Ross.” 

“Ross” held out a hand for God to sake. Baltazar returned the smile and shook the other man’s hand, “I’m Baltazar.”

Ross, “I know.”

Baltazar felt dread roll down his body. 

Rosell, “You hurt me, my lord. I may be a common demon. as you might have guessed from the array at the entrance. Currently disguised as a human for Dina’s sake. But I know my way in this world. And the people one has to know about” He looked directly through Baltazar. 

“Surely, you must have been aware that this is Hell when you arrived, right.” 

Baltazar nodded. Unable to say much more. 

Ross let go of Baltazar’s hand, “Now, tell me. What have I been missing?”

~

Ross, “I see, that explains a lot.”

Dina, “It does?”

Ross, “It explains why you got the eyes of God.”

Baltazar almost spilled his tea, “She’s got my eyes???” This statement prompted a  facepalm from Miza.

Rosell shook his head, “Not yours per see. More like, what priestess in the old world prayed to be able to see through you. To see things that normal people wouldn’t.”

Miza took a sip from a teacup. “You mean she can see magic beings?”

Rosell scoffed, “No, not at all. She still believes my tail is some weird furry statement i have going. Dina turned to Ross, “Ross please!” She then turned to the divine pair and confirmed, “I’ve always been able to, since I was small.”

Miza sighed and tried not to show her disdain for the demon, “That must’ve been difficult. Your peers must have found you rather peculiar. We are terribly sorry we did not know of your existence earlier. We should’ve been able to help you.” SHe glanced at “Iklea” and “Ross”, “Much earlier.”

Ross glared at the seraph who gladly returned the gesture. It was so intense that Miza could only try to drink from an empty cup and act like she didn’t notice the cup was empty.

Dina, “Not at all! My childhood was... but then I met Ross and Iklea. Since then.. I’ve been rather content. I even decided when my business in the human world is finished. I’d actually like to stay permanently here with my boyfriend... if he still likes me in the future that is.”

Iklea broke into laughter, “HAH! He better. ‘Else I know of a few heartbreaking words to tell him.”

Nobody in the room liked the obvious wink Iklea sent towards the group.

“But back to my dad....” Dina tried.

Baltazar’s face dropped, “Yeah! Right!”

“As I said, Strezia fell in love with a woman named Marie Ravenwood. She stayed together with Marie for some human years until one day... She came home. Locked herself in her room and didn’t show her face for quite some time... Miza.” Balthazar gestured to the seraph, “Found out that ms. Ravenwood had cut ties to her. And then thirteen years ago... you mother. You probably know know what happened.”

Dina gulped and looked down. Ross sat beside her and watched her every move.

Dina’s mother had died giving birth to her. Her mother had cut all ties to her family because of improper conduct. She would rather give Dina up for adoption than let her parents know of her daughter’s existence. As Dina had been told by her aunt.

“I felt it when you mother died.” Balthazar continued when DIna confirmed she knew. 

“Her connection to Strezia made all of Strezia’s closest feel it too. I knew something would happen so I... I forced myself into Strezia’s room. But she was gone. A few days later. Strezia’s light disappeared from this existence...” Dina felt cold.

“Nobody knew what had happened to her as she had thrown away her halo.”

Dina sat frozen. Her shoulders trembled. Dina got up and went out the door. Ross got up too and followed after her. Balthazar could only stare as he was at a loss at what to do. It had been twentyfive years ago and he still remembered the day as if it was today it had happened.

Iklea sighed, “Don’t worry, she... just have to swallow it. They’ll be back. After she gets it out.”

Baltazar felt her pain. A girl who had never met her parents.. and for both of them to wind up dead. Truly sad. 

Baltazar closed his eyes. His empathy gave birth to an inkling of inspiration. He used it to see where the two had gone. ‘

A gentle hand calmly patted a young weeping maiden while rocking her back and forth. A good man consoling his little sister. Whispering reassuring words to her.

After a while Iklea went too and the three of them soon got back.

Baltazar got up from his seat, “I’m sorry that you and Strezia never got to meet. But I’m happy nonetheless to finally being able to meet you. I-“ “Wait a moment.” Ross said.

Baltazar stopped. 

Ross, “I think I know what happened to Strezia.” 

Miza got up instantly.

“You do??? What happened? What do you mean?”

Baltazar looked hopeful at Ross. However, Strezia’s soul had moved on. She wouldnt turn up alive, even if balthazar wanted it. Still, Baltazar wanted closure so he prompted Ross to tell what he knew.

“Some time back. An angel went on a rampage throughout some shopping districts in Hell’s capital. Many high demons came to stop her but her attacks were relentless. She didn’t even try to protect herself. Charging head on.”

They all listened attentively. Nobody were sitting anymore, holding their breaths.

Ross, “She stirred up such a huge incident that the Devil himself showed up.”

Baltazar felt stiffened. He always got trembling fits every time the Devil was mentioned. he tried to gulp down the unease.

“He tried to subdue her.” Ross continued. “But when he went for the killing strike she suddenly threw her sword and met the attack with open arms. He refused her the kill and stopped immediately. But, something in her eyes drove her to steal away his sword, Redwoo, and then she... ended it herself.”

The atmosphere which surrounded the room lay heavily on the people inside. 

Baltazar felt weak and wanted to scream and cry. He blamed himself. His inefficiency. He was supposed to be God but he couldn’t even help one who had been so close to him. 

The loss of Marie was so big that Strezia didn’t even want to be in a world where Marie wasn’t there. A tragedy befitting of such a beautiful love. If this had been a tragedy. 

Baltazar flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head to see Dina with tears in her eyes. “Thank you for coming today.” Her voice was weak and trembling. She fought hard to keep the tears at bay. Baltazar only felt worse when he saw her. He then embraced the girl. And thanked her too. Holding back tears.

She never knew them. But she wished she had. Still, she couldn’t help but feel sad for two people who had loved each other and tried to protect each other. Angels’ life span far surpasses that of a human. With a baby on the way, Miza concluded it must’ve been because Marie wanted to spare Strezia the heartbreak of outliving her child and wife. Nobody knew for sure.

~

“Thanks for having us!” Baltazar beamed. He stood outside of Ross, Iklea and Dina’s house. Miza and him were preparing to go back.

“I’m so happy I came to meet you Dina! And your nice elder siblings of course. Even though I thought that you had two brother to start with... but well, it’s really been fun! Though, maybe a tad bit sad.” Iklea stood and supressed a laugh. Ross only elbowed her.

Baltazar clasped Dina’s hands, “I might be God and have business other places but I would really like it if we kept in contact with each other! You’re really bright and I’m sure Strezia would’ve been so proud of you. So I hope that I can come and visit again. You know, to tell you more and stuff!”

With a returned beaming smile Dina answered, “Yes of course! I really want to know more as well. And you’re really interesting my lord. Even Ross and Ikle- I mean Iklea liked you. And I’m sure they don’t mind.” Dina looked back at her siblings they both nodded in agreement.

“I’m just... I’m just sad that my dad didn’t know about me...” Baltazar patted Dina’s head, “Yeah, it could’ve been different.”

Dina shook her head, “It could’ve. However, I’m happy as is.” She then turned to look at her siblings. Baltazar was truly happy for her.

Miza and Baltazar then said goodbye and disappeared towards the first realm.

“I’m sorry Rosell.” Dina said sheepishly. “I didn’t realize he was God until later...”

“It’s ok. I’m glad you made him stay.”

“You... are?”

“Yeah.”

[shellheadtmarc]

v; fallout 4 companion 

October 23, 2077:  The world ends.  The East and West bomb one another into annihilation, the government retreats into the safety of their oil rigs, an awol group of soldiers form their own little militant survival group, the vaults seal well below their maximum capacity, and the rest are left to loot, riot, panic, and either ghoulify or die in the leftover chaos.

Not everyone dies.  It isn’t a, “and then all was silent,” situation.  More people scrambled and panicked than tried to keep the peace, but those not caught in the immediate area of the bombs survived - at least for a time.  Tony Stark is one of those people.  Something he should have seen but hasn’t, is the buffering effect of his arc reactor, which keeps him in a stasis all its own.  It keeps his heart beating, it keeps the shrapnel out of his heart, it keeps the ambient radiation neutralized.  He survives.

And survives.

And eventually lives long enough to see settlements begin to form again in the New York wasteland, begins to establish his own, help connect them in a network of security and exchange.  Sees, on a smaller scale, his goals for things like clean energy start to come to life in making the post-war world he finds himself living in as comfortable as possible.  His own technology advances, not through his most-used fix on fail method of testing, but through simulations, calculations, long years of ruminations that are carefully weighed and considered before he acts, because resources are scarce and there are some changes he’s making the he knows he can’t take back if he goes through with them.  Errors are checked for, the math checked and rechecked a hundred times, all while the vaults open and people begin once more to strive for some semblance of life in a place that’s far removed from the one before the bombs.

And he’s content that way.  He’s busy.  He’s occupied and making a difference somewhere, until a group of power armored soldiers pass New York a little too slow in their cosplay of the Hindenburg and he decides that, with New York as stable as he can personally make it, it’s time to branch out and see what else is out there, following them into the Commonwealth just in time to hear their “do not interfere” speech.  He doesn’t have an intention to stay, but plans have a way of going awry, at the worst of times.

technical info ;;

Tony comes as his own free agent to the Commonwealth to investigate the Brotherhood of Steel.  From his position in New York, he’s heard rumors from passing caravans both coming from DC and leaving Boston, but rumors are rumors, and he wants solid, verifiable facts, because their crawl past New York was too slow for his own liking.  He’s been alive long enough in the wasteland that he, like everyone else that lives there, is much less trusting than he originally would have been.  He’s suspicious, can be cagey, paranoid, and above all, take an us vs. them mentality when it comes to anyone that displays violent tendencies, such as raiders.

He doesn’t go by Iron Man - if you put that one together it’s probably because it’s been a dire situation, and he’s used the suit.  He doesn’t do that often anymore.  Instead, he picks up the moniker Handyman from various settlements, or the Mechanic.  Or he’s just plain old Tony.  He’s learned the value of keeping certain things close to the vest, and doesn’t hand out personal details like candy to just anyone anymore, and he’s not exactly a public figure.

His primary goals in the Commonwealth are gaining info about the Brotherhood of Steel, and will grow to finding out more about the Institute, Railroad, and Minutemen, as he starts to put together pieces to see there’s a bigger picture in front of him.  It’s because he’s insatiably curious, nosy, and likes to put his thumb in pies it probably doesn’t belong in, because he’s a busybody.  The Minutemen gain him as an ally, as, outside of a SoSu, he’ll put together settlements (eventually) of his own, because he can’t help himself.  The Railroad does good work, but he’s not interested in joining, and they don’t want him.  He’s too loud, too direct, and even if he did get Black Ops training from SHIELD, he doesn’t use it in a way that would be conductive to the Railroad’s goals. 

His main bases are: Fort Hagen:  This he cleans up after the SoSu has their Kellogg-killing rampage and turns it into a lab.  The town around he spruces up and makes ready for settlement...Further down the line.  He’ll start with the ones in Fort Hagen at first, but he’ll also rebuild and reprogram Gen 1 and 2 synths in Commonwealth, building a ground force of the Iron Legion.  Waste not, want not, you know how it goes.  The same goes for unclaimed power armor, he’ll snag that, as well, and any assaultrons, protectrons, and other robots he can get his hands on.  He’ll gripe about the wiring and coding of General Atomics and RobCo, but he’ll strip them clean and use them as a case to do his own work. Cambridge Polymer Labs:  If anyone’s going to get this place workable in seriousness again, it’s definitely him.  Will wander along and find it either with or without the SoSu (depending on if a SoSu is in play and if they mess with the quest there or not).  This will be Lab #2, with no settlement outside.  This is the one he keeps quiet and private.

He also has various boltholes he’ll establish throughout the Commonwealth, but you gotta be a VIP to know where they are.

He mostly hangs around Goodneighbor, out of the larger settlements.  He’s got a good rapport with Daisy and KLEO and prefers to trade with them over Myrna in Diamond City, and he barely glances Bunker Hill’s way because of how the raiders are paid off.  Otherwise, the best place to run into him are prewar industrial ruins.  He’s always picking them over for resources.

He favors energy weapons over ballistic weapons, but he can use either.  Wouldn’t say no to a power fist, either.

IMPORTANT TO NOTE:  If RJ MacCready has NOT been romanced or picked up as a companion by a SoSu, Tony directly defaults to the romantic relationship he has with @gwinnetts‘s MacCready, especially if there’s no expectation of shipping with the other character in play.  This is not a thing that’s set in complete stone, but Mala and her Mac have been instrumental in helping me hammer this whole verse out, so extracting Mac out of it isn’t impossible, but will require some plotting.  Note:  I don’t mind doing that plotting.  It also means that Tony isn’t unwooable - he is.  Just if nothing is initially discussed with this verse, that’s where he directly defaults to.

(The short version is Tony runs into Mac fairly early on in his time in the Commonwealth for information on the Gunners.  MacCready sees Tony is a possible cash cow because if you don’t think Tony uses his math brain to hustle at pool in the Third Rail, you’re wrong.  Shit happens.  Feelings happen.  Whoops, there’s attachment.  He helps Mac get Duncan to the Commonwealth.  They’re a ridiculous family with a grumpy merc, a reckless superhero, and a cute af kid.  The end.  Also thus why I say if he hasn’t been taken as a companion and max affinity reached, because there’s a rewriting of Mac’s whole questline in play there.)

Obviously the above does not count if threads are with a different MacCready.  I mean.  /props on elbow  /leans closer  Unless you wanna do a thing.  /waggles eyebrows  Especially since Mac is a good foil for Tony, but hey.  Just throwing that option out there.

Some Links! About The Suit Some Info On The Fandom Mashup Tony & Settlements Tony As A Companion About M.O.E. Tony And Other Factions Concerning Institute Sole Survivors More Tony In The Wasteland Notes The Original Take On This Verse Using Tony As An Endgame Faction About Traveling At Night Should You Loot His Body Appearance Headcanons & Wasteland Vocabulary Quirks And Habits #1 Things Game Mechanics Left Out But Probably Exist #1 New York Wasteland Misc Notes The Playlist

[irregodless]

ive just been thinking about that guys antifeminism speech for a while

so in case you havent heard, which you havent because this is only something that happened to me basically, in my class this guy in front of me was talking about how he had to give a speech in his next class too (incidentally so did i, but i stopped thinking about it and reading the book required by class to listen)

everything in quotes is paraphrased so keep that in mind, but it captures the essence

he starts by talking about the class and the speech. some friends ask what its about and hes like “its against feminism” and you can hear the “:/” in their silence

the group is a boy a girl and this guy who later in class confessed to eating horse shit. multiple times.

they clearly dont care much about feminism i dont think but theyre like “thats kind of a controversial topic isnt it! you think its going to go well since youre a man?” and shitmallet is all like “see THATS stereotyping and THATS bad.”

except its not because not only have men talking about feminism (particularly why its not good) proven to be awful, but also, they were justified because he was also awful

and like, i know that feminism can be hurtful to trans ladies and woc, but also, this is real life at community college and nobody even realizes these are even things let alone problems. but just hearing someone say “feminism is shit” immediately triggers a response in me like “I Don’t Trust Like That” to think theres a valid reason. its a black and white way of thinking but its telling when someone flat out says its bad, like, entirely. let alone this guy.

anyway he gives a good like two minute talk about how you should imagine a person in your life, a mother, sister, daughter, whatever, who you want to protect. it sounds like the justification people try to use to try and beg men to care about rape by appealing to their sense of family

and he goes “these are all people we want to protect. and im going to tell you all why you should protect them from....... Feminism” and i nearly fuckin DIED i had to hold back laughter

so this is where his argument starts to fall to pieces. understand im only addressing his argument and its lack of merit here. i think it goes without saying its just kind of generally shit

all like

protect yer womenfolk from catchin’ the Thinkin’ Disease, lads

or

yer womens will know endless untold agony and grief if they learn how shit theyre being treated...

like. as a man. you really dont have a right to be saying “no, honey, im protecting you FROM feminism.” thats kind of like going to pride, telling everyone why pride is bad because it does some things some times and being like “as a straight man i know whats best for gay people”

okay so moving on, he makes the only decent statement he says the whole while which is basically he doesnt like how it furthers the gap between men and women and it turns women into nothing but victims. like. hes got lots of shit missing but hes STARTING to get the point i guess. like. to stop women from being victims. but hes trying to do that by....... silencing the women

i guess women cant be victims if? nobody knows they are???

but heres where we get some fuckin good ol logical fallacies n shit

“its the mens jobs to look after the women” okay so: reinforcing gender roles. putting a gender role on yourself that youll just complain about for being expected to take care of women. you think women shouldnt be treated like helpless victims and should be able to (kind of) think and speak for themselves, and yet, you think that they HAVE to have men there to take care of them.

like can we just think on that for a minute

women shouldnt be treated like they cant take care of themselves. and we should accomplish that by not letting women take care of themselves

like just?????? how do you NOT see the contradiction. i wish i was his teacher. i dont think you can give him a bad grade for having a differing opinion but you can DEF tear him about for not having his shit together

which might nto be fair considering you might not focus on that if it was something you agreed with. but also, consider the following: fuck this guy

but like then he goes on about how “yeah i dont want to like remove womens right to vote or anything, but feminism is garbage now. feminism started off with good reasons [though i wonder if hed been born at that time if he wouldnt say “dont you miss it when women and children were seen and not heard?”] and its this third and fourth wave feminism thats shit.” and then he says, now get this, “i dont like all this nonsense with not wearing shirts and” pause for dramatic effect. “dyeing their hair green and shit.”

LIKE BOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

i like it when women do things as long as its things i like like being guilted into sleeping with me and throwing their lives away and making me breakfast

i dont like it when women do things i dont personally approve of >:(((((

like i genuinely wonder if he thinks that the hairdye is directly related to it, or if hes just saying like. its something that tends to happen around this generation of feminism

but GOD i hope he thinks women are dyeing their hair to personally spite him i can only fucking HOPE

anyway he closes it and the man with a copy of dbz on his backpack and the woman with a uninteresting voice are like “wow i was worried at first but you made good points.......................”

and im just writing half of it down and messaging izzy and justin about it because i cannot BELIEVE

like im just. so lost and dumbfounded at how shit that argument was. and also that hes apparently so offended by women not wearing shirts.

i just. im just. i wish i was in a debate class with him so i could tear him down

but im too lame of an ally to talk out about people in real life because im scared and dont have a chance to prepare which will lead to me either shouting crying or both and not having ANY of my facts together (not that it matters apparently considering you can just say whatever you want apparently)

also he says "men have problems too" and i almost rocketed into the sun

this speech was written by one of the founders of the republic of gilead i swear

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [10] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

When Ash opens the door to her room to see a grouchy Roger, she’s surprised to say the least. 

“Who let you in?” She asked, surprisingly defensive, wrapped in her nightgown, hair a mess from what he can see where she’s only got the door open a crack. 

“The van’s been sold,” he says instead, and Ash makes a face, and doesn’t open the door any wider. Actually, she just crossed her arms over her chest.

“So you came to me? Go away, Roger.” She’s not usually so short with him, and she goes to close the door but he holds out a hand, jaw clenched.

“The others are here too, the buyer lives here, on the first floor,” after a beat, he hesitates, “Freddie wanted to say hi.” And Ash finally relented, sighing deeply and pulling her dressing gown tighter around herself.

“Alright, lemme put some pants on, I’ll make tea.” She says, and it’s punctuated with a yawn, before she closes the door. When Ash closes the door, she takes a moment to rest her head against it, eyes closed, already exhausted.

“Who was that?” Comes a voice from her bed, and when she turns, she sees the sleepy smile of Tom or Travis or whatever his name is, and she lets herself smile back.

“A friend.” She tells him, walking with measured steps and an easy grin back to the bed, straddling him when he sits against the headboard. Ash moves in to kiss him, moaning gently as his hands find her smooth thighs beneath the bathrobe.

“Can he wait?” He asks, kissing her jaw as his fingers graze from her thighs up to pull at the sash of her dressing gown, exposing her to him, his hands moving to cup her boobs. Ash feels herself flush, eyes fluttering closed, laugh coming out a little breathy, but she moves back. 

For just a moment, with his hands on her, her eyes closed, she sees the way Roger had been grinning last night, with the girl at the other end of the bar, and how his gaze had flicked to Ash’s for just a second, and his smile had brightened in that moment. But then the girl at the bar kisses Roger and Ash drops a glass, and Tyler or Todd or whoever he is pinches her nipple and her eyes snap open. He’s grinning back at her, brown eyes dark as he looks her over, and Ash feels something tighten in her chest, so she kisses him rough, hands in his curly, blonde hair. He’s familiar, but not enough, and she doesn’t like to read into it-

“Pocket Rocket?” It’s Freddie who bangs on her door this time, and Ash turns bright red as the boy in her bed laughs the nickname quietly back to her, pinching her thigh.

“Yeah, gimme a sec, Freds.” She calls back, getting off of the boy with a sheepish smile.

“Your friends seem impatient.” He says, but gets out of bed obligingly, searching for his pants while Ash rifles through her drawer for something to wear. 

“Just get on some pants and go.” Ash says, a little beleaguered, and she hears him laugh as he pulls on jeans. As she’s bent over looking for a pair of short, he slaps her on the ass, and Ash turns sharply, eyebrows raised, small smile on her face. He just leans in and kisses her quickly.

“Thanks for last night.” He tells her, and she grins, leaning up on her tip toes to kiss him again in answer. When he leaves, he’s wearing jeans and an unbuttoned shirt, his shoes and socks in hand, and he runs directly into Freddie who’s waiting outside. “Sorry for keeping her, man, you know how it is.” He smirked, and Ash felt herself flush, stepping out after he’d left to see an amused Freddie.

“So, who’s your friend?” Freddie asks, following behind her as she walks out to the common room, and seeing John, Roger, and Brian all sitting around her kitchen table, feels herself turn bright red.

“Tommy... maybe.” She says, avoiding eye contact with them, a little, proud smile on her face. Freddie wolf whistles.

“Look at you go.” He says, draping himself in a seat at the table, watching with amusement as Ash shuffled around the kitchen, preparing tea for them all. As she worked, the others began talking over each other, excited at the prospect of recording an actual album, and she let herself relax as she listened. 

“How do you boys like your tea?” She asks, interrupting them, already putting a second sugar in the mug with cat faces on it. Brian and John tell her easily, Freddie smiles, knowing she already knows his, and Roger uses the lull to complain about selling the van again, not giving a real answer, and that starts them all up again, trying to tell him it was the right move for the band. When Ash puts Roger’s tea down for him, she gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze, and when he looks up at her, she gives him an apologetic smile, far more relaxed than when she’d opened the door for him earlier. He shoots back a tight smile, and just holds the familiar cup as she moves back to the counter.

“We’re recording tonight.” Brian announces, as Ash puts his drink down in front of him. “Do you wanna come along?” Taking a seat beside him, Ash takes a long sip of her own tea, looking between the four of them.

“Why?” She finally speaks, laughter a little confused.

“I want my number one fan there.” Freddie said proudly, grinning at her, and Ash smirked.

“Freds, you’re gonna be there either way.” She said fondly, and you hear a snort from Roger.

“You even up for it, Ash? How much sleep did you get last night?” He asks with a smirk. Freddie laughs at that, John hides his smile behind his mug, and Brian just shakes his head, but Ash just sits up straighter, lips quirking in a challenge as she narrows her eyes at him. 

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know, you pervert.” She tells him, the hint of a smile in his words, and he bites back his reply, a little flush because, yeah, he fucking missed it, missed her, not that he could say that here and now, not that he could ever say that out loud. “That’s what I thought.” She says, triumphant when he’s silent, but she can’t look him in the eyes, and she agrees to go to the recording studio.

When she turns up, a little late but excited nevertheless, Roger’s sitting outside, bouncing his leg, and looking like he’s waiting for something. His expression brightens when he sees her, though Ash just gives him an amused smile.

“You waiting for me?” She asked, and he tipped his head to the side as he stood, giving her an evaluating stare.

“Didn’t want you getting lost.” He half laughed, and Ash grinned at him, her hands stuffed in her pockets as he lead her inside the building.

“So you still, ah, getting out and about?” He asked, shooting for casual, though Ash snorted out a laugh at his awkwardness.

“Yeah, you know, since everything with August I’m just... enjoying myself, you know?” It’s been almost a full three months since the incident at Fife, and objectively Roger knew she’d probably want to get herself back out there, but he’d, well honestly, Roger had assumed she’d go for him when she was ready.

“Of course, makes sense.” There’s an awkward silence that hangs between them, and Ash comes to a halt before they make it to the recording studio, frowning up at him, obviously waiting for him to spit out whatever he was thinking. After a beat, he opens his mouth, but she cuts him off.

“I don’t give a fuck if you have a problem with what I’m doing, frankly it’s not any of your business.” She said flatly, and Roger shrugged.

“I don’t have a problem with it, I’m just surprised you didn’t ask me.” He admitted honestly, “I thought we had fun together at least,” and Ash actually laughed, smile a little sharp as she looked at him, and he knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“Yeah no, it was fun, and then I stopped meeting your standards or some bullshit, remember?” And her words sting a little, and Roger frowns.

“You’re still mad about that? I was just pissed about- about him.” And at even the suggestion of August, Roger can feel his blood boil a little. “I thought we were good.” He crows, and Ash gave him a thin smile.

“Yeah, we’re good, we’re fine,” which is clearly a lie, “you’ve done a great job at burying any suspicions the others had about us, because there’s no way in hell I’d ever go near you like that again.” And she turns to leave, but he’s still.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Of course you are.” She says, before she stops at the door, giving him a small, apologetic smile. “I’m still sorry about how things went down with us, Rog, but fuck, you really know how to make a girl feel like a dumbass for having feelings and shit. But whatever; we’re good.” And he calls her name as she opens the door to the studio, but someone comes bursting through.

“Oh! I’m so sorry- Rog, they’re asking for you!” It’s the girl from the bar last night, and Ash smiles brightly, with a glassy-eyed stare as everything comes shattering around her. “I know you! You’re the bartender! You must be the singer’s friend.” The girl seems so bright and sweet, and Ash holds out her hand automatically.

“Ash.” She introduces herself as, smile still frozen in place as the girl shakes her hand, introducing herself as Kristin. “You’re here with Roger?” Ash asks, and Kristin confirms with a giggle. Turning to look over her shoulder, Ash sees Roger with his eyes squeezed closed. Expression softening as she turns back to the sweet-faced Kristin, she lays a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Watch out for that one, he’s bad news.” And her tone is bright, and Kristin takes it like a joke as Ash swans past her into the recording studio.

“He’s fucking unbelievable sometimes.” Ash quiet enough that only Mary hears it when she takes a seat beside the blonde on the sofa. Mary wraps an arm around her, letting Ash tuck against her side as they watched the boys set up.

“I know, sweetheart.” Mary says, rubbing her arm in solidarity. “Pay him no mind, it’s gonna be a good night, you should have seen how excited Freddie was earlier; still is.” And it’s true Freddie’s bursting with energy, warming up; he sees Ash, and immediately bursts into the room, leaning down to wrap her in a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Ash.” He tells her, and Ash gives him a fond smile, despite her gently aching heart.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe  @laueecakee  @smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues@banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile @cardybenhardy @snacfu​ @perriwiinkle​