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absolutebl · 1 year

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Wedding Plan Trash Watch!

You ready to snuffle-kiss the burn?

Before I start...

Find out about Mame and the Mameverse here.

Find my other trash watches of her and others here.

We all know what we are getting in for, 7 episodes of BLduggery. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not... that is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts.

Episode 1 - In which I craft an ode to Dumpster Fires Everywhere

I am sorry, but they opened with Battle Hymn of the Republic for PrapaiSky’s wedding? I busted out laughing.

Also, you KNOW I can’t just let that go.

Ready?

LET’S SING! (Bet you’d never thought I’d type those words).

Battle Hymn of BL Tumblr

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the trash This is barely even BL it’s just Mame writing slash She hath set ablaze such garbage in pursuit of all our cash But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Mame hit us with a sewer. Spoiling all our fun, Oh the shit storm has begun, But the trash watch must go on!

I have seen the dumpster-fires of a hundred BL tropes She will sacrifice her ukes ’til they’ve lost all of their hopes We will watch in righteous anger while the refuse burns and smokes But the trash watch must go on!

(Buh buh ba buh)

Glory, glory hallelujah! Life’s rough for a BL reviewer. When OG BL fans run afoul of Mame stans But the trash watch must go on!

Buh buh buh buh!

Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here for the next 7 weeks. Yes some of my rhyming conventions are awkward af but I never claimed to be a filker. Now where was I?

Oh YES,

STILL AT THE VERY BEGINNING.

Where have I seen this seme before? Oh! Top Secret Together.

Micky D sponsorship? Nice. I’m impressed.

Too many sound effects, abort! Is that the sound tech from Lovely Writer I sniff? Someone please fire his ass. Yes, it must be him. Only a straight dude misuses buttons like that.

I feel Nuea’s pain I too hate the gym.

This better not be in one of those situations where after instalove our seme arranges for the wedding planner boy he likes to plan his own wedding so that he can marry him at the end.

Lots of pronouns going astray in that sentence, but you get my meaning.

Drag baby around. Locker room. Kabeldon

Honestly? And this is not usually a criticism I lob at Mame ( I know is there anything I have lobbed at her?) but the leads seem a bit stiff and uninspired.

It is just me?

Episode 2 - What’s this? Oh is that boredom?

What are these boys in these office BLs doing behind their desks on those computers? They never actually seem to be working at all. They’re like brochure stock art ads for boys on computers.

I had to skip most of the humiliating stuff with the food in the car and whatever was going on because… aargh.

They keep ordering food in this episode of nobody’s eating it. And it looks really good and I’m hungry and this is very upsetting to me.

Lom is just totally jerking Nuea around. Just tell him what your relationship is with the bride.

There’s no need to be so fucking coy about it.

I love the flaming yelling fit from Nuea tho.

It was also a good kiss.

But that’s what we expect from a Mame.

Mame giveth and mame taketh away.

Somewhat dull episode frankly. Even with the kiss.

Sigh. What have I become?

Episode 3 - WHAT IS THIS? There is nothing about this episode that pleased me even a tiny bit. Except Noel’s hair. But that wasn’t part of the script.

Buckle up, I got A LOT to say.

It’s a pleasure to welcome you back to your normal and expected ABL meets Mame interface where... ABL LOSES THEIR TINY MIND.

Right on schedule it feels like.

Ready?

Oh who am I kidding, you sadists life for this shizz. And you can’t tell me you don’t.

Lom is so frustrating.

I wanna punch him too. Sing it, sister!

Random water sports. (And not of the kind one might expect from Mame. Stop it. You know she would go there. She’d think it was edgy.)

Peeps!

We need a name for when a BL reviews itself.

It keeps happening.

Should you tell him everything?

Yes.

1000 times yes.

I’m basically screaming it at the screen.

TELL HIM!!!!

You tricked him into a date without telling him a single thing about what’s actually going on. Are you insane?

What the hell.

You keep kissing him but he is planning your wedding. How fucked up are you? You monster

A Mame show calling out its own exploitive sexism is so fucking awkward.

Mame. Sweetheart. Snookums. Sugarbeans. Shaken-baccon. You don’t have enough fucking talent to go meta. Leave it to the better BLs to follow trends. Your shizz is old fashioned and that’s why people like it. Don’t try to be classy, it makes this whole shit show just look even more shabby.

Poor baby.

Now he’s doubting himself completely.

What are these assholes doing to you?

Come with me.

I’m going to transport you to this other terrible BL trash watch happening right now, where there is a LOVELY adorable boy named Max and I think you would be perfect together.

So it’s basically just Narnia-level closet cases we are dealing with here?

THAT’S IT?

THAT’S THE EXCUSE FOR THIS LEVEL OF MANIPULATION?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

Nuea is such a cutie.

I want to punch Lom all over again.

Noel looks v pretty as a blond.

The proposal sequence was unnecessary. But at least I don’t wanna punch anyone.

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE for lying. For manipulation. For not understanding how you’re betraying another person’s faith in himself.

Especially not if you’re in the position of power: social, cultural, employer.

Why doesn’t Mame EVER understand this?

You can’t have a character that is sincere and earnest in love and yet entirely lacking in all forms of integrity.

This is driving me crazy.

No one is in the show is as crazy as this show is making me.

I started this episode wanting to punch Lom, and I’m ending this episode wanting to punch Lom.

That’s a mame plot for ya.

No character development at all, on any side of the screen.

And someone, mostly me, is always left with a mad desire to punch something.

Frankly, I kinda want to punch the screen.

Episode 4 - I Am Going to Start Drinking

I like consent especially when “no” is activated. But this being Mame she shoe horns it in and then the seme ignores it.

It’s so awkward. She’s actually incapable of making any non-problematic tropes sexy. It’s like there is only one lane for her shows and that lane is...

the WORST

My “Punch Lom in the face 2023” campaign continues.

I don’t see how he can ever become a sympathetic character. He just trundles along lying by omission (when speaking up would make everything better). I hate him.

I’m glad we get to see Nuea suffering, now show Lom what he has done and make him lose the boy.

No? No.

Instead Lom gets rewarded with sex for being a sleazy lying gutless jerk? Well terds to both you fine gentlemen.

I mean, very gay of you, Nuea sweetie.

“Because just SOOOO hot” being the #1 excuse in my personal “I slept with WHAT?” experience. (Heh, to be fair I’m often the WHAT? in that equation. I live to be someone’s bad mistake... just not Lom-level-bad.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, Gaga has the sex scene. FYI. Came outta nowhere, that sex scene did. Very disjointed... not that kind of joint. Not that kind either.

It’s not a particularly impressive sex scene, which is disappointing. Because WHY ELSE WOULD WE BE WATCHING?

I mean, if you’re going to have your characters (and by extension us) forfeit all integrity and taste in order to watch your stupid show, the least you could do is give us decent chemistry.

I’m not saying this is worse than LITA but at least LITA was hot.

It wasn’t anything else. But it was hot.

This this is

not hot.

In conclusion: if Nuea’s baby bro doesnt’t punch Lom in the face next week I will have to start drinking on Weds...

oh wait!

BMF ends this Friday! I can switch to drinking mid week!

YES

(I have a new rule: only one BL a week is allowed to drive me to drink in any give rotation.)

Imma preemptively point out that I am aware that bearding and lavender marriages are still quite common all over the world. I would whole heartedly support a good depiction of it. (Even one where it stays fix in the beard position.) This is NOT a good depiction.

I shall draw your attention to 2017′s rarely discussed (not really BL) We Are Gamily out of... you guessed it... Taiwan. You can argue with me about this only AFTER you have watched that.

Okay, back to the trash watch.

Episode 5 - I Neglected to Drink and that was a Mistake

Ate a lot of crap traveling home today (feel gross) + tumblr new desktop UX has me pissed + Mame & alcohol? I’m not sure I’d survive. So no alcohol.

Here we go.

Poor Nuea feels so guilty.

Please save me from ever feeling that way after sex. *shudder*

Before you ask, to the best of my knowledge, I have never slept with a married person. I’ve slept with married people... married to each other mind you... but I hope that makes it clear everyone was consensual. (I recommend it, by the way. Being a unicorn is lots of fun.)

Where was i?

We were dealing with punching Lom not my misspent youth.

(looks at calendar. wait, that was last month.)

PUNCH LOM 2023!

Queen!

I love her.

It wasn’t a physical punch but a verbal one is almost as good. (And can be more damaging in the long run.)

Could we please still have an actual punch?

Pretty please?

Mame punches her characters all the time. And no character ever deserved a punching more than Lom.

I do wish there was a nice boy back home to scoop Nuea up.

That line of boys wanting him, could we see it, not be told it?

I do like the random sinshine hyung side couple.

Omg. COLD MICKY D?!

That might just be the most objectionable moment in this whole show.

And that’s a tall order.

Pun intended.

(straight, HA! pun not intended but still very much THERE)

Was I pleased we got multiple characters who are just outright gay? Yes.

But representation has not been one of Mame’s issues.

I mean Tharn was one of the first openly gay seme leads in a Thai BL, and she also had rep for lube and condoms in that show. That’s not the issue with TharnType. Or Mame.

Her issues tend to revolve around story structure and audience manipulation.

Was I pleased that Nuea knew what was going on? Yes, I’m glad he’s not totally clueless.

I still want Lom to be punched in the face and I’m still mad at this show.

Episode 6 - Too hot to drink, still a Mistake

I finally figured out my real problem with Lom. It’s not that he was closeted and manipulative without good reason (although he is). It’s not that he lied and strung Nuea along for a lot longer than was necessary (because he did). It is that he basically does everything for himself and his own ends. Even when he’s confessing his love it comes off as flat because it isn’t about Nuea and what Nuea wants or needs, it’s about Lom wants.

Hanging a lampshade on it doesn’t make it right.

It was good bridge kiss. And car kiss. And sex kisses.

There is something corrupted grunge romantic asking the person you love most in the world to hide that love and climb back into the closet with you for the sake of your nasty arse family (is that a queer taboo, hum). I’m not saying lavender marriages are necessarily wrong, I’m just saying it’s an interesting plot twist in a BL.

I think we HAVE to hold this up and examine it in stark contrast to the final ep of Bad Buddy. It’s interesting how the closet retreat didn’t bother me at all in BB, and I thought it was quite a clever and elegant ending twist. Whereas here it’s just annoying. It’s not making me as angry as it probably should. But it is annoying as a narrative conceit and denouement.

Can I ask a question.

It’s not a serious question, of course.

What is up with all of the shows this year having dates on lakes featuring that thing where you ride a funny little floaty-boat while being dragged behind a fast boat. I’m sure it has a name, but I could not care less. New sponsor?

The sex scene was fine. But I have to say, I wish they had leaned into the fact that Lom is a virgin and Nuea has more experience. It would’ve been a really interesting dynamic to see honestly represented on screen.

In conclusion, Nuea is a saint and next week everything comes to a head that didn’t already get head this episode.

Episode 7 - Finally I’m drinking!

I am having a tiki beverage this evening to round out this show. Coconut rum and mango popping Boba are involved. Don’t judge. I have the alcohol palate of a 7 year old.

I’m ready! Let’s shave this beard!

And, well, that was a pink saturated drama of the mothers in law. Enjoyable lakorn style scenery chewing. The ladies seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Lom pretending to be sad and pitiful. Also funny.

Using his evil against his mom is acceptable. Suddenly his manipulative lying ways are working in the right direction.

Honestly?

This was a fine ending, I’m not mad at it.

They managed to keep Lom in character until the end, he remained deceitful. I would never trust him, but clearly Nuea is willing to ride that dragon.

I guess 7/10?

If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

But, frankly? Lom as a character would sit better amongst the drama bananas of Only Friends.

In summation:

A lackluster Mame offering with less of her usual stellar chemistry, but all of her usual manipulation. An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursues him, even though he’s about to marry someone else.

(source)

#The Wedding Plan #wedding plan the series #Thai BL #ABL trash watches BL #trash watches #trash watching mame #save me from myself #trash watch #thai drama #thaibl #save me from mame #can't stope the trash watch

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that-g3-artist · 6 days

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Very tempted to ask for another ghost fic snippet because it looks really fun so far but instead I'm gonna go for the modern reincarnated one. Also, where do you post your fics when they're done?

I post all my stuff on my Ao3! I usually post links on my tumblr too, but that's where they go lol

For the modern reincarnated au--it's basically a rehash of a botw au i was rotating in my brain a few years ago (i think i posted it somewhere but i'm not linking it lol its bad) but make it lu! It's several thousand years after botw (i'm ignoring totk cause i have Issues with it), Hyrule is now in the modern age, and all of the Links have been reincarnated as themselves at the same time. the only clue they have are these vague dreams about their past lives and a sense that something Really Bad is going to happen Really Soon. it's kind of like a mystery, trying to figure out what's up with their shared dreams and how to stop the bad thing

I don't have much written, but here's a little snippet :]

"Alright, children," Warriors called as he pulled up in a beat-up, old minivan. "Did everyone get their permission slips signed?"

Sky laughed. Legend flipped him off.

"You know, I didn't picture you driving a mom van, Captain," Four said. "Are we going to soccer practice?"

"Ha ha, very funny. And no, it's not mine,"Warriors shot back. "And unless you've got something better that'll seat seven people, it's the best we've got."

"Get in, already!" Wind yelled from the passenger seat. "Let's go!"

Warriors elbowed him. "In the back, punk."

"What? Come on, that's no fair!"

"Yes, fair, Twilight's navigating. Go sit in the back."

Wind shot him his fiercest glare, crossing his arms. Warriors simply raised an eyebrow.

Wind went to sit in the back. "This is such bullsh--"

"Hey!" Twilight and Warriors warned at the same time.

Legend and Sky had already claimed the two middle seats, so Wind ended up squeezing into the backseat with Four and Hyrule. Four, at least, was kind enough to give him the window seat.

Twilight swung into the passenger seat, and with that, Warriors shifted the van into gear. "Everyone ready? Seatbelts on?"

"Yes, mom," came Legend's voice. The younger boys laughed from the back.

Twilight chuckled too, pulling up the directions to the Great Plateau. ETA was a little over two hours, Warriors noted. Switching on the radio, he desperately hoped it wouldn't feel as long as it actually was.

"Ugh, nobody wants to listen to your trash pop, Wars," Legend groaned.

"Hey, my music isn't trash!"

Sky made an uncertain noise. Rude!

Twilight reached for the aux cord. "Here, I'll put on something--"

"No!" Warriors and Legend shouted together.

"Why not Twi's music?" asked Four.

"He only listens to country," Warriors shuddered. He turned onto the highway.

"Hey now, country's good!"

"Yeah, no, sorry Twi, I'm with them on this one," Four said. "Let's stick with the trash pop."

"What's wrong with country?" Hyrule asked softly.

Legend gasped. In the rearview mirror, Warriors could see him twisting around to face the backseat. "Oh, you poor, innocent child," he exclaimed. "I need to show you some actually good music."

"I'm, like, two years younger than you--"

"I bet he listens to a bunch of emo shit," Wind not-so-quietly whispered to Four.

"Alright, shut it, all of you!" Warriors called back. "Driver picks the music! Anyone else complains about my trash pop, I'm giving Twilight the aux cord, capeesh?"

"Yes, mom," came a chorus of voices.

Warriors sighed. Something told him this two hour trip was going to feel more like eight.

(yes wild and time are absent, yes there is a reason for that)

#ask game #g3 does a talk #linked universe

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ooops-i-arted · 7 months

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Gina Carano Sues Disney and Lucasfilm. According to Just Some Guy at 1 : 36 of the youtube video. Gina Carano was the one who put gasoline into the fire herself by intentionally starting a fight with trans people and mocking them for their importance in society.

I was sick the day the happened and @jennadknowsbest-blog was kind enough to tell me and boy let me tell you, despite feeling like crap I was laughing like this allllllll day

If you too need a good laugh, read the released document thingy. It's badly written on so many levels. (I saw it on Reddit but I think it's floating around Tumblr too. There are some golden comments on both.) Both from just a writing style perspective (it's written like a teenager's Star Wars fanfic) and the fact that her main argument is that "Pedro Pascal said mean things about conservatives and wasn't punished" when 1. most of the posts were apparently before he was hired as the Mandalorian and 2. it seems like pretty common knowledge in fandom that he was asked to tone it down and he did. I follow him on Insta and he rarely posts outside of promoting his own work, and it's largely "support this cause" or "I love my trans sister" instead of attacking/joking at anyone. (I guess his Twitter had more comments, but he's since deleted it afaik.) Overall, it's likely just a stunt to get the right-wing frothing at the mouth and Gina's name back in people's mouth, because she hasn't filmed anything since Terror on the Prairie (one of two Daily Wire films she was supposed to have, the other appears to not be happening anymore) and My Son Hunter (which was straight Breitbart propaganda). Shatpiro has used and dumped her and while I doubt she's hurting for money, I bet she's desperate to get the praise and attention and adoration that the Cara Dune role briefly brought her. Why else would she come crawling back to a company she's publicly trashed and accused of mistreating for the last several years? It doesn't make sense by her own logic! If they were so bad, why does she want back? (And who's gonna hire her now if they think she's a liability who's going to turn around and sue them?)

It's really disgusting though that Gina wants to claim she was discriminated against for being a woman while actively mocking minority groups. Her post appeared on my Insta fyp and I usually don't click because I know she's gonna piss me off, and I clicked and she did. At the time she had a story that said "Still beeping, bopping, booping" with a smirky picture of her. So all she's been told - we know Pedro talked to her because she herself admitted it on Twitter*, and while I'm sure there were plenty of people jumping on the hate bandwagon, there were also people trying to genuinely explain - and explained how this is hurtful to the queer community, she still keeps doing it and thinks it's funny.

That's what's unforgivable to me. Not that she said ignorant shit in the first place - we all have - but her refusal to learn and do better. She wants to say whatever she wants without pushback and so do her fans. The few times I've thought it's worth it to try and talk to someone about it, they always insist it's just her opinion and say something homophobic to me as well (last time I talked to a Cara Dune content creator on Insta, she said she "doesn't agree" with me being gay and "I can't expect everyone to agree with me." For wanting to exist as a gay person. Apparently I should just take it when people mock me or say I should burn in hell.) That's the problem with Gina and her supporters. They don't care, they don't want to think critically or debate, they want to say anything they want without consequence and brush off any conflict with "well it's just a joke" or "it's just her opinion."

Bigotry is not an opinion. You can't "not agree" with someone's skin color and it's the same with their sexuality. You don't get a fucking opinion on whether I have the right to exist as a queer woman.

Let's not pretend the things Gina says are in a void. People who flock to her believe the same things she does. That's why people have protested her attending FanExpo (this video goes into more depth thank you @jennadknowsbest-blog for sharing), when you invite people who, like her, think it's funny to mock anyone like them, it doesn't make a safe or welcoming environment for people like me. Sure one can brush off a comment or two - but where do you draw the line? When does it become harassment? And who is going to protect people like me from that harassment? How can I count on security from an organization that invited Gina and encouraged these people in the first place?

And I say all this as a queer woman who is able to chameleon myself very well because I've done it since childhood. Things are only getting more dangerous for people who are visibly queer. A nonbinary teen was just killed in Oklahoma. I live in a relatively blue area of a blue state, but that doesn't mean I'm completely safe. There are extremists out there, and they're only getting more bold - because people like Gina think it's amusing to fan the flames. Gina, at least, has faced some consequences for it. I doubt this lawsuit will go anywhere (either it'll be settled and Elon and Gina have some Own The Libs content, or they'll be dismissed/lose and they'll get some A Woke Judge Discriminated Against Me content). Gina will be happily on her way. Meanwhile, I get to wonder if the people around me who dismissively say "it's just her opinion" are the kind of people who don't think much about social issues.... or are the kind of people who will happily vote my rights away in the next election.

I assure you, if you have friends who are queer, they are listening to what you say about this case. Throughout all her tomfoolery, I've found Gina to be an excellent canary in the coal mine when it comes to identifying homophobes.

*She apparently later told Tucker Carlson that no one bothered to explain the pronouns thing to her, so we know she's a liar who twists the story as well, which is why I never take anything she says in good faith.**

**I'm very embarrassed I know this but I can't help but following up on stupid things she's doing. She fascinates me. She's like the inverse of a blorbo to me, like she pisses me off but she compels me. How can one person be this dumb. (Fr tho has anyone in her life talked to her about CTE??? Impulsiveness/aggression are possible symptoms....)

#gina why can't you be normal i would still be a fan if you weren't an asshole #I have a lot of Feelings bc first finding out about Cara/Gina I really related to and admired her #and then........this #anti gina carano #asks #gina carano

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aurorawest · 1 year

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Reading update

White Trash Warlock by David R Slayton - 4.75/5 stars

Urban fantasy with a protagonist from a trailer park, who, for bonus points, got sectioned by his older brother as a teen. Daddy issues, mommy issues, and brother issues, what's not to like? I ordered everything else by this author I could find when I finished the book, including the other two books in this series.

The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopulos - DNF

Boring.

The Revolutionary and the Rogue by Blake Ferre - DNF

Boring, with the added crime of actual plot happening but still, somehow, nothing actually happening. I kept reading whole pages and realizing I had no idea what I'd just read.

The Red Scholar's Wake by Aliette de Bodard - DNF

OMFG CAN I CATCH A BREAK. This was such a disappointing DNF, too, because I'd really been looking forward to it. One of the characters is a spaceship and it bills itself as a space opera? Yes please. But after the initial marriage of convenience setup, it's just all a bunch of pointless, boring conversations. Nothing happens. I flipped ahead. Still nothing happening. Not a space opera but definitely cozy sci-fi, which I think I officially hate.

Honeytrap by Aster Glenn Gray - 5/5 stars

An FBI agent and a GRU agent get assigned to work a case together in 1959 and they fall in looooove. But oof, this book was so good. I'm not sure I've ever had a time skip hit me in the gut so hard. I really can't recommend this book enough, it fits squarely in my niche interest of mid-century America or Britain m/m romance. I think Natasha Pulley also awakened something in me with The Half Life of Valery K, because I seem to be a sucker for gay Soviet men. Speaking of, if you liked The Half Life of Valery K, I bet you'll like this too! Anyway, read this, but be prepared to be hurt by it.

Ordinary Monsters by JM Miro - 4/5 stars

X-men meets Strangers Things with a dash of English boarding school, set in Victorian Britain.

Human Enough by ES Yu - DNF

Promising until it devolved into boring, pointless conversations and tumblr posts on neurodivergence.

Olympic Enemies by Rebecca J Caffery - DNF

I put this down on page 12 and my wife grabbed it to flip through it, cackling at the amateurish prose.

Frost Bite by J Emery - 4.5/5 stars

Snowed-in cabin fic with an enemies to lovers romance between a vampire and a (former) vampire hunter. It was cute and a quick read.

The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner - DNF

Very Not Like Other Girls. Also read a review that said pregnancy was a huge focus of the book, and that's a squick for me.

Reverie by Ryan La Sala - 3.75/5 stars

This book didn't quite live up to the promise of its beginning (missing memories, bizarre disruptions to time and space) and the writing was a little twee at times, but overall I enjoyed it. This was the author's debut, so I suspect subsequent books will probably be better. I did feel like the teenage main characters were weirdly inured to death, which also contributed to me knocking of a quarter of a star from what would otherwise have been a solid 4 star book.

All Souls Near & Nigh by Hailey Turner - 3/5 stars

If you like The Tarot Sequence by KD Edwards, this series might be worth picking up. I will say, though, that it's nowhere near as good. I think it's a combination of pacing and too many characters that detracts from my enjoyment of this series. This is the second book and I enjoyed it more than the first, probably because I sort of remembered the massive cast of characters from the first one. It's one of those things where I really don't think they're all necessary and some should be combined with others. The pacing is also...weird. It's pretty much nonstop action. At one point I think the main character drove back and forth between various crime scene locations and his office like 5 times in a day.

That said! Despite the issues, clearly I still picked up book 2, and I'll probably read book 3 at some point. I really like the two main characters.

#white trash warlock #david r slayton #honeytrap #aster glenn gray #ordinary monsters #jm miro #human enough #frost bite #j emery #reading tag #the lost apothecary #reverie #ryan la sala #all souls near & nigh #hailey turnter

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narcissisticpdcultureis · 10 months

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hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...

(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....

also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.

i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.

i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....

i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.

(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)

sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better

#not culture

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the-path-to-redemption · 1 month

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hi once again (⌒∇⌒)/

i bother u today asking for advice... (๑•́ -•̀) i saw some... things, in the fandom (fndm? the name is so cute) as i told u before... so i was wondering, what are the safest places to post?

i'm really not interested in ship battles and such... and people get trashed for only liking adam... i want to stay away from that negativity (｡•́︿•̀｡) so twitter is definitely out. i was thinking of ao3, its not very popular for fanart but its safer as u have to search for the tag specifically... and if u dont like it, u can skip it without actually seeing the art (◍•ᴗ•◍)

anyways, im excited for the vytal festival (ʃƪᵕωᵕ) i love these kind of arcs, thats why i got excited thinking about fanart... thank you for always replying to me! ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡ ill make a proper account soon....!

Hello! It's so nice to see your message again, anon!

I'm happy that you're looking forward to the Vytal Festival Arc, personally, it's my favorite despite many issues it has. I'm also very glad that you want to post fanarts yourself!

On that subject matter, I'm sorry to say that I don't really have any "good" advice for you on where to post your art :(. Unfortunately, the FNDM is a place where negativity has permeated a lot of its platforms, so while you would have less encounters with hate on AO3, it's not a guaranteed place. This isn't a discouragement from posting your work on AO3, it's just a precaution from me.

Tumblr also have a tagging system, but I understand that you can find it uncomfortable because the inbox function will opens a lot of opportunity for anonymous hate mail, and Twitter is just simply awful.

I'm terribly sorry if my answer on this question isn't satisfactory, but if there is any advice I would give you and any other artists who wants to post RWBY art, it would be "block the haters". It will be exhausting, especially with anonymous messages, but you can also turn off the function or answer messages privately. The most important thing to keep in mind is that YOU have the creative liberty to post whatever you want on YOUR page regardless of platforms, giving you ultimate control over who can and cannot interact with you. Blocking and deleting hate instead of engaging will make your experience in the FNDM much more tolerable, and it will bring in fans of your work!

So, to conclude, posting on AO3 is the best bet if you're comfortable with it! But please do be aware of hate and don't be afraid to block such things, and curate your own experience. Be safe anon! <3

#answered #anonymous #rwde #rwby #rwby critical #fndm critical

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 2 years

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Ragnok's backstory is actually revealed in one side quest where we rescue a student's uncle. He says that when Ragnok was young he came across an illegal dragon camp, and he was impressed with the dragons. He wanted to join the wizards there, and when one of them dropped their wand he saw his chance to give it back to him. But seeing the goblin with his wand angered the wizard and they attacked him. That's why he hates wizards. Also, haven't saw the whole story yet, but there is a goblin character that is on our side, we help him get a goblin helmet for him so he can gain Ragnok's trust. He says he doesn't fully agree with him

You mean Ranrok, right? I'm pretty sure Ragnok is a Goblin from the original books. Either way, that's definitely interesting.

Honestly, that story is a tragedy and it only serves to remind me who the real villains of this conflict are, and it sure as well isn't the Goblins. This is an almost textbook misunderstanding, fueled by bigotry and archaic institutions, that create a situation where Ranrok was just being polite but was immediately treated as a criminal. If one of the other Wizards had picked up the wand to return it, no one would have batted an eye. But nobody trusts Goblins and it's literally illegal for them to carry wands. (Or at least it is 100 years later, but I bet that law is already in place during HPHL.) That's one of the most blatantly racist details about the wizarding community that no one else ever seems to notice. They hold other creatures accountable to their laws, which obviously favor them and exclude said creatures. They have official designations to determine what counts as a "being." Honest to god, it's no wonder the Goblins fucking hate us. Humans really are trash sometimes.

I've gotten way off topic. Everything I've seen of Ranrok makes it difficult to sympathize with him or believe that the game is trying, but I have to admit that this backstory does help. In before Tumblr adopts Ranrok from Rowling and tweaks his character with the proper head-canons. Up to and including fanfics where he's the hero. Wouldn't be the first time we've woke-ified a problematic aspect of the potterverse...(I expect the same thing to happen to Sirona, by the way.)

Glad to hear that not all of the Goblins are depicted as villainous. That's a genuinely good thing, and I also appreciate that he doesn't "fully" agree with Ranrok versus just thinking he's flat out wrong. This does help, a little, but...to be frank, the issues with Ranrok's depiction go right down to the roots and can't really be solved by just including other Goblin characters. Because the Goblins are, deliberately or not (and it's looking more deliberate with each passing day) a caricature of Jewish people. So depicting them as the villains is already difficult to come back from. But, the way they do it is just so...typical.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. The villain of the story actually makes some very good points. They believe themself to be a hero, fighting injustice. Realistically, they're not wrong about anything they say. The only problem is that they're an extremist. By all rights, they could have been a good guy if they weren't causing so much damage in the name of their cause. So the heroes still have to stop them and uphold the status quo. They express disgust with the villain and the story suggests they have become as evil as what they were originally fighting. After the heroes win, they acknowledge how the villain may have had a point, actually....and proceed to do nothing about the injustices the villain brought up.

It's such a classic way of vilifying people who stand up against corruption and speak truth to power. People who take a stand and refuse to tolerate oppression, exactly like what the Goblins are doing. But oh, they're killing people and doing evil things. See? If you rise up against the institution, you're the bad guy. And in this case, villifying an extremist like Ranrock goes hand in hand with this game's antisemitic subtext. He didn't have to be the villain, he shouldn't be the villain. Because the Goblins, for so, so many reasons...should not be the ones we consider the villains of their conflict.

#Harry Potter: Hogwarts Legacy #Ranrok #Antisemitism #Harry Potter #J.K. Rowling #Writing Analysis

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postwarlevi · 2 years

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Thank you! Well unfortunately it's a chronic thing but I'll manage. I'm taking a lot of supplements, too. How yre you? Oh really? Wow, I'd probably go there every month until I'm broke. So like...1-2 times lol. But I cant wait to see it. Haha, visit you? I'll just move into the cottage next to you two. Yea I have way oo much stuff. Yesterday I was organizing my bathroom - so. much. shampoo! Honestly, I won't have to buy any new shampoo for at least 6 months. It's ridiculous. Again, a full bag of trash (expired products) and one back I'm going to donate (to a women's house). Yes I do self-shipping now too. IDK if I'll be writing a lot, but it's fun. (guess I'll write mostly Levi x reader). I used to dislike it, too. But I think that was because in my old fandoms everybody else hated it (and did it secretly - lots of jealousy). As for Levi there are just canon-character ships I really despise. I don't care about self-ships. Let people have fun. Also you are the first person here, do call me moot <3 <3

Awe good luck with the supplements and everything! I hope it helps!

I have a late work day, I'm eating lunch and will head in shortly. I let myself take a nap and now ran outta time to do extra things, oh well, it was a nice nap lol.

I hope you enjoy the park! I had a family member that just went and had a blast and showed lots of pictures. I bet it will be lots of fun!

Yes yes move in to the next door cottage. We'll share land and make bread and raise farm animals!

Thats great you're donating your stuff! I've been giving things away or tossing things that are just too old and things like VHS tapes. I'm going through a pile of papers to shred that have been in a box and there's tings that are from 2018 in there! I've also found I don't need toothpaste for a year haha.

Honestly I didn't know character x reader was even a thing before I joined tumblr, but I like that it's then more open for people! I had to adjust my writing a little but it's good! There's at least one thing that I am still debating doing an original character for, because the character is deaf. Maybe once I get polls and am actually up to writing it I'll ask haha. It's a long story that the draft is completely written cause I couldn't stop myself. Here it is if you want to read. Spoilers of course but it's still open to changes!

Yeah, self shipping is just fun, and generally pretty harmless. I like supporting my moots ship and getting in on it by inviting myself over to their fictional world LOL.

I look forward to more of yours stories! I do think x reader stories get more views than OCs here on tumblr, at least from what I've been. Happy writing!

#eliza interacts #moots #moots kia

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girltomboy · 5 months

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Yesterday I wrote a long ass post that ended up getting blown into dust by tumblr, so I just gave up on ranting (I'd already typed out the whole thing anyway so at least *some* work had been done on processing what had happened) but during yesterday's "Easter lunch" (we don't even celebrate Easter, but we do like to make the traditional food anyway, and it seems we're also adopting the traditional Easter fights) my grandma went off on me about the way I dress (again, still, etc. except this time I'm almost 27, you'd think this topic would ever get old or stale or my family would get tired of fighting over it so much for so long for nothing, and yet it never fucking stops). I was thinking how to tell her that I'm seeing my friends today, it was like something was holding me back. The vibes were just slightly off, but it was an absurd feeling because it's such a mundane and normal thing. So I absent-mindedly mentioned it, and she replied: "what are you going to wear? It better not be those pants you came in" (she hates those pants because they're baggy - like 80% of my pants 🤡 I actually had a feeling she would comment on them when I packed them, but I didn't think they'd be SUCH a big deal, they're some of my normal pants). Those pants are dirty anyway, so I wouldn't have worn them. I told her they're not the only pants I brought with me, I have other pairs. And she immediately said: "NO, not pants. I bet they're also ugly anyway. We'll look for a nice dress in your closet." I said:"There's no need for that, I don't like wearing dresses." It was not a fancy dinner reunion, just a casual day out with some old friends. And she should know by now that I'm not a lover of dresses, except for the beach and a special occasion once in a blue moon, I would never choose to wear a dress. I've never kept this a secret, everyone who knows anything about me is aware of my preference and respects it (they have no choice anyway).

That's what set her off, I don't know what she expected to hear honestly, but she started shouting about my stylistic choices and about the fact that when I come visit her she expects me to wear my best and fanciest clothes "for the neighbors", otherwise I shouldn't even bother coming. And made it clear that the neighbors' opinions and impressions are much more important to her than what I want, feel good in, like, etc. It's not like I go outside in my pyjamas or in trash bags, I just wear normal casual clothes, but she wants me to dress like a news anchor basically. She also said that she's sure the reason why I don't own any nice fancy clothes is because I'm broke from always sending my boyfriend money?? Lol that is 100% a lie that my mom fabricated a looooooong time ago, I'm surprised that it's still holding up, but why wouldn't it? After all, they created it and planted it in their own minds and universes. Of course nothing can shake something that is unaffected by the actual truth, since it doesn't happen in real life. Aside from that, she also revealed some other lies about my boyfriend that are circulating in my mom's and her heads: he's stringing me along, doesn't have "serious plans with me" since he "hasn't married me yet". I was like? ON GOD? 🤭 Aww it's so cute how you get so riled up because you want him to marry me sooo badddd! But have you asked yourself whether or not we Want that? Did you ask ME?? What I want? Do you know anything about what I want, what we talked about? No, they never ask me anything and just survive off of the lies they make up on their own. I told her outright "I don't want that!" (on marriage), but I'm 100% sure that she (and mom too) will think it's because I don't want to marry my boyfriend, not that I don't want to get married to anyone ever. They would know it if only they would simply ask. But they dgaf about what my relationship is actually like irl, only what they invent about it, without any connection to reality, truly matters.

So yesterday I was not in the mood to keep the peace, smile and nod, for the sake of avoiding an argument, because the fight started out about clothes, and escalated into yet another attack on my relationship/my partner. And I'm completely over that, plus she kept adding more and more fuel to the fire by telling me Satan is influencing me to upset her in this way, as a result of me rejecting god (it's a good thing she figured that one out on her own, without me having to open that box of worms), that my way of thinking (which is... idk... wanting to live my life how I want and mind my own business. I guess) will make my family abandon me, which idk fucked up if true, but that threat is absolutely not making me want to fight for the love and respect of a family that is ready to cut me off as soon as I stray from the mold they created for me in their head. And of course everyone including my bf is out to GET me and hurt me except for - you guessed it - the family dangling their imminent abandonment in front of my face. Pretty hilarious but I wasn't intimidated by these words because I've heard them before and they are meaningless to me. And ofc she made it clear she "doesn't know" why I even came to visit her. Which, in the moment, I sure was struggling to remember as well, ngl. AND she said she is sure I must have joined some kind of cult or sect that "is unlike everyone else" which, if you think about the context in which I grew up and the church I was birthed and raised into, is IRONIC as fuck - how can you even think I'd join a cult like that (I'm not religious anymore btw, thanks very much) if I JUST escaped one? Girl, YOU ARE in that cult!! You are describing the sect YOU are part of, and that you want ME to stay in! Why would I chase another one like lmaoooo you think your sect is sooo normal and "like everyone else" when it paints anything and anyone outside it as the enemy and fabricates its own oppression.

So for the rest of the afternoon we didnt speak to each other after the meal, she didn't even leave her room or take any phone calls from various relatives and friends who called her, including my mom. Then in the evening I took a shower, and when I got out she playfully asked me to come to dinner. So I did, and she never mentioned the fight or any of the other topics, neither did I, and even when my mom called her and she answered during dinner she didn't say anything to her, and we all pretended like nothing happened. 😋 That's what we're best at. I'm glad that never sat right with me and I don't implement this tactic in MY interpersonal relationships. But today I was supposed to meet my friends before noon, so I went to have some breakfast. And after I was done I told grandma I was about to leave soon, just so she knows. As I was going back to my room I heard her shout: "Careful how you dress!! If you don't have any money for a taxi I'll give you some, just so the neighbors don't see you!" I was like... Now you'll just make me dress shitty out of spite. In hindsight this talent of saying something completely fucked up then carrying on as if nothing happened, that seems to run in the family because both my grandma and my mom seem to have it, is pretty amazing. Like the creativity and wit are quite rare. But I said nothing and got ready, and when I left I didn't announce it or anything, I simply left.

Story doesn't end here... While I was out I got a harrowing text from my mom telling me "don't bring ur boyfriend home if he's in town... Grandma told me you left without saying and she's sure he came to the city". I burst out laughing, but I haven't replied yet. I don't even know where to begin. I don't even know what to address first. I'm simply amazed at the world building skills that both of them possess. I don't understand why they fear neighbors' gossip so much if they are capable of so much worse on their own. Who even needs enemies talking shit about them behind their back and making up untrue stories and scenarios with a family THIS skilled and hateful? My biggest haters would not be able to come up with shit like this. The assumption that my boyfriend would come all the way to my hometown just to be left stranded in the city, meeting me out on the low like some secret agent, the assumption that I would willingly introduce him into this fucked up and bitter family... Why are you surprised that I would leave without announcing (not even a big deal, I'd already told her I was about to get ready and go) when not 24 hours earlier you made a whole scene and told me to basically never show up here again because you didn't like the pants I wore once. And you constantly and continuously throw tantrums about the way I dress because it doesn't fit YOUR particular taste & style. Why would you not put 2 and 2 together instead of fabricating yet ANOTHER lie to get mad at, and to force me to defend and justify myself against something YOU pulled out of your ass? I'm constantly amazed at the hatred my family is capable of and how easy they are able to weaken our relationship and ruin my trust & perception of them.

#im about to reply to my mom's text but it's going to take more brain power #than my college essays

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forestwater87 · 6 years

Text

The absurdly-overdue Niekki post

I don’t think I realized it until I answered a Ma//kk//i ask a few days ago, but I fucking love Nikki and Neil as a ship. It’s just really cute and sweet, they make perfect sense together, and if I was a betting nerd I’d call them endgame.

And they’re also the least popular ship in the entire fandom. Including the gross ones.

And it honestly comes as such a surprise to me, because thinking it over, I realized something completely fucking bonkers that I don’t think anyone has paid much attention to:

Neil/Nikki has a stronger canon basis than any other ship in Camp Camp, by miles.

Yes, more than Gwe//nvid.

That should tell you how dead-fucking-serious I am about this ship.

Season 1, Episode 1: Escape from Camp Campbell

These two spent an entire who-knows-how-long bus ride together, as the only people on that bus (QM doesn’t count as people and you know it), both of them convinced they were going to entirely separate camps.

I want more than anything on this earth to know what that conversation was like. Nikki being such an enthusiastic and chatty little bean, there’s no way she didn’t talk his ear off the entire time and we were robbed of that conversation, Rooster Teeth.

MAKE IT RIGHT, ROOSTER TEETH.

Season 1, Episode 2: Mascot

They went on a fun little adventure together, without Max! They risked life and limb and found a new mascot and learned about each other and held hands and it was so cute and sweet -- and I failed to take a single screencap of it, because like everyone else I somehow missed that this ship is perfect and everything I ever needed. But I do have a picture of them bonding with David, so:

“Bonding.”

Season 1, Episode 3: Scout’s Dishonor

Not only do I have no pictures from this episode because it doesn’t include David and when I first started watching/screencapping I was a total slut for that good tree boy, but the Camp Camp wiki has no pictures from this episode. WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE HOW GOOD THIS SHIP IS?!

Anyway, picture-less: Neil explores his gender, is exposed to basically the camp of his dreams, and in the end decides to abandon it because Nikki gives him the sweetest most vulnerable smile --

Man, a picture would sure go down smooth right here, huh? Too bad no one cares about these two or their interactions, my 2016 self apparently included. (My 2019 self is currently doing this during some downtime at work, hence not just pulling up new caps. If I must suffer, y’all must suffer.)

-- and then they fly away together on a bird Nikki summoned! And Neil thinks that’s the coolest shit ever, and the awe in his face and voice when she shows the Flower Scouts Timothy is really good and HOW? HOW DID NO ONE NOTICE?!

They learn about each other and accept one another even though they’re not exactly alike, and it’s one of the more wholesome parts of the entire show.

ETA: JUST KIDDING I TOTALLY HAD A POST I FORGOT ABOUT! I’m keeping my comments in because they made me laugh though.

Season 1, Episode 4: Camp Cool Kidz

They’re on opposite sides of this conflict because Neil is on the side of his bro/boyfriend Max, but it doesn’t seem to damage their friendship at all. These two can forgive and forget like nobody’s business. (This also applies to Max and Nikki, yes. Makkiel4lyfe.)

Also she saw him shirtless. Mrow.

Season 1, Episode 5: Journey to Spooky Island

They . . . um . . .

Listen, not every episode is gonna have ironclad evidence, okay? Just look how cute they are and shut up.

Season 1, Episode 6: Reigny Day

Actually, Nikki’s kind of a dick to Neil in this episode. She doesn’t especially care if he’s dead and laughs at him for having a diary. This episode is really all about Max being Neil’s bro and looking for him when he goes missing.

Like I said, not all gold, but adorable.

Season 1, Episode 7: Romeo & Juliet: Love Resurrected

HE IS SO NERVOUS TO KISS HER OH MY GODDDDDD

And I think that’s all the incisive commentary this episode needs.

Season 1, Episode 8: Into Town

Neil is the first and only person to notice that something is wrong with Nikki; even though they didn’t spend a ton of time together this episode, they do have one of the more powerful emotional beats. He knows her arguably better than Max does, and can therefore more quickly recognize when she’s not herself (though how you miss that says less about Neil and more about what a single-minded revenge-obsessed monster Max is at this point in the show).

This is not the first time he notices that Nikki’s being mistreated and expresses concern, either. He’s much more protective of her than his often-selfish nature would imply.

Season 1, Episode 9: David Gets Hard

They spend the entire episode playing together! Bonding! This is basically what we can assume they’re doing whenever Max is off with David or Dolph or whatever scheme he has going on when he’s not with them, and the fact that they basically spend all their waking hours hanging out and being friends is just really lovely, especially considering how little they have in common and how few the things they’d both enjoy doing are.

It becomes clear that their friendship can survive without Max acting as an anchor, which, as anyone who’s been in a 3-person friendship can attest, is not always the case.

Season 1, Episode 10: Mind Freakers

Neil is such a jerk in this one, and I actually think it makes a really nice contrast. Nikki’s been mean to him in previous episodes, and in a very similar way; in “Reigny Day,” she cares less about his well-being than about having her own fun and exciting adventure. In this episode, Neil’s similarly too self-absorbed to worry about his friend’s personal safety -- albeit with much more disastrous (maybe? Is Nikki magic?) results.

But the way Nikki just trots along beside him down the path to hell and choking on magic scarves is adorable. She more or less always trusts him and does what he tells her to.

This is perhaps not the wisest idea, but Nikki isn’t known for her wisdom.

What’s the opposite of that “get you a man who” meme? Because this is not. Get a man who never does this.

That being said, the look on his face when he’s genuinely scared for her life and about to turn his back on everything he believes?

I ship it.

Season 1, Episode 11: Camporee

There’s literally nothing. They’re barely in this episode and I don’t think they interact at all. They can’t all be winners, I guess.

That being said, Max and Neil have this really cute moment and it should be appreciated. Anyway.

Season 1, Episode 12: The Order of the Sparrow

Shit, they’re not really in this one either! The closest we get to shipping fodder is Neilxplatypus.

I mean . . . Nikki is basically a wild animal, and apparently Neil is cool with that under very specific circumstances. It’s a stretch, but I still think there’s more than enough --

Holy shit.

Wait.

I’ve only done the first season so far! And this is long as balls! Oh my god, there’s no fucking way I’m doing all the episodes in this post. Niekki is getting a multi-post spectacular because they deserve it, damn it.

#campcamp #camp camp roosterteeth #cc nikki #cc neil #niekki #makkiel #cc max #maxneil a little bit #i bet i used a dumb word somewhere and this won't show up in the tags #so mutuals please spread far and wide?#because tumblr is trash and i bet it thinks this is not good for the children or something

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ibuki-loves-you · 4 years

Text

(NSFW) Nagito, Hajime, and Izuru with an S/O who has to wear a maid dress due to losing a bet to Hiyoko

Warnings: NSFW

Mod Ibuki: Take two after tumblr deleted this ;-; I combined these two requests, I hope that's okay! I also made this gender neutral because one asked for male and one asked for female, I hope that's okay too. Enjoy!!

Nagito:

Hiyoko told Nagito earlier that day that he has a surprise waiting for him

She walked away before he could question "why trash like me would have a surprise"

His question was answered when you knocked on his cottage door in a maid dress with Hiyoko full-blown wheezing behind you

The minute he opened that door, he went bright fucking red

The fact he was pale did not help at all either

"S-S/O...? W-What are you doing here?" "THEY'RE HERE TO JUMP YOUR BONES!" "H-Hiyoko!" "Wear protection~" Hiyoko snickered before walking off

Nagito was too shocked to even begin ranting about how he didn't deserve such a gorgeous sight

His mouth was opening and closing like a fish

Nagito could not stop staring at the short dress

God he wanted to fuck you into the mattress

He tried to hide his obvious erection

Keyword, tried

You grew tired of standing around and nudged him into his cottage

When he shut the door you palmed him through his jeans while he gripped your waist

Luck was certainly on his side today, wasn't it?

Hajime:

The minute Hajime heard you lost a bet, he knew nothing good was going to come of it

But he was also a little excited to see what you had to do

That excitement went from innocent to aroused in a matter of seconds

When you walked into the dining hall in a maid dress with Hiyoko trailing behind you, he almost spit out his orange juice

"S-S/O!? W-What!?"

He didn't know whether to laugh or to jump you

Hiyoko was cackling the whole time

"Why don't you do a spin, S/O?"

You sighed and twirled around, which made Hajime go even redder

His jaw dropped

The only thing that was going through his head was "they look so fuckable"

"Hey Hajime! Why don't you have S/O help you with the tent in your pants? They are a maid after all!"

Hajime looked down and swung his arms to cover his crotch

He muttered a curse under his breath and hopped up

One arm covered his nether regions the other dragged you to his cottage

He'd have to thank Hiyoko later

Izuru:

Izuru already knew you lost a bet, you didn't even have to tell him

He definitely would not admit this, but he didn't know what to expect

That's why he almost dropped dead when you walked into his room in a maid dress

He stared at you for a solid minute

If you looked close enough, you'd see that he was blushing

"I-Izuru?"

"So this is the consequence of the bet you lost?" "Y-Yeah."

Izuru could not stop thinking about ripping that dress off of you

And then proceed to you rail you

"For once, I'm happy you didn't come to me for help. This is certainly an enticing sight." "I-Izuru!" "What? I am not lying."

He had one arm subtly hidden over his crotch to try and hid the evident boner

"D-Do you want help with that?" You pointed to his erection

Izuru didn't answer

Instead, the fucker roughly laid you on the bed and immediately went in between your legs

For once, he wasn't bored

#danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #sdr2 #nagito komaeda #nagito komaeda x reader #hajime hinata #hajime hinata x reader #izuru kamakura #izuru kamukura #izuru kamakura x reader #izuru kamukura x reader #mod ibuki writes!

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owo--bot · 3 years

Text

Loyal as a Dog // Sanzu x Reader

Masterlist:

Chapter 31: Cycle of Decay & Departure

wc: 9.5k

cw: arguing, angst, unhealthy/toxic behavior, cursing, plot progression

an: it's a doozy! Also, I hate tumblrs line spacing jfc it’s so ugly T^T

Let me sink into you.

No, it's not like that I swear.

You won't feel it.

Don't look at me with those eyes.

It's like you hate me.

You don't hate me, do you?

Tell me you love me,

Show me you love me,

This body is vulgar without it.

Trust me,

You haven't seen desperation yet—

—I haven't seen desperation yet.

I hear each bond cracking and mending.

What is this awful melody?

It’s the cycle of decay and departure.

It’s a world in which every rope frays.

My hands burn from tugging, so I take breaks to let go.

There comes a time in every business owner's life where they ask; why am I doing this?

Today was that day.

Or it would be that day, but the owners of fast food corporations live in a utopia separated from the average human filth. Instead, they hire some chump who wants to eat. It's a simple process. When they win that moron over with a penny and free sandwich for good measure, they hand over the keys and say something like: make this thing work, good luck. Although, since the fast food gods are such celebrities, they have their underlings hand off the keys to the lowerlings.

With that unnecessary and accurate explanation out of the way, we've reached the why factor. Why did it take until now for this fast food overseer to question this utopian job? Simple.

Teenagers are terrifying.

Their entry is an omen.

Smart overseers knew to quit while they still had a wife and kids. Coincidentally, this overseer must not need either, because fifteen omens were in his lobby. Somewhere along the line, they pushed a bunch of tables together. Frankly, the overseer stopped caring long ago—possibly since birth. As long as the omens didn't steal his retirement money, they could be loud and inconvenient to a moderate degree.

Side by side, the first division yapped amongst themselves. It wasn't often that everyone ate out like this and today was as odd a day as any. While there was an ongoing collective conversation, there were also individual ones. Out of many and obviously superior in all ways, one focused on a topic of life and death circumstances.

“Mr. Sanzu said I’m too immature. So, that must mean he only likes mature women,” you complained, teary-eyed and frantic, as you shuffled your trash around. “Right Mr. Baji?”

"Yeah, looks like you’re outta luck," he answered, unrelenting as ever.

“Do ya think he’ll love me if I’m an adult?”

“Couldn't tell ya, even if I wanted to.”

“I bet he would—but that's a super long time from now.” You tore at your hair. “Do ya think I still have a chance if I'm not an adult?”

“Doesn’t look like it,” he yawned, putting his canines on display. “No harm in knowing when to quit.”

"Nobody likes a quitter, Mr. Baji."

"Yeah? Well nobody likes try-hards either."

"Uh-huh, they're even worse than murderers and weather-men. I bet no one would miss them if they were suddenly… I dunno, gone forever? But only the ones who tried too hard to be born any year before me. Minus kids." Radiating an immaculate air, your smile conveyed the end of all human suffering. "Leaving only the disgusting try-hard scum older than twenty to never be seen again."

Half of mankind just made the worst enemy.

If we're being honest, it's their fault for existing in the first place.

Your villain origin story blossomed within a fast-food chain.

"Bark all you want, they're not going anywhere." Baji grinned and sent you forward with an aggressively chummy slap on the back. "A small fry like you would end up getting bagged up instead."

……

You laughed in response while simultaneously sinking.

There was no denying its presence.

Everything seemed the same, but not.

It was off.

Baji was 'off'.

You could feel it. Feel what?

His tone of voice? The same.

His facial expressions? The same.

His engagement? The same.

His mannerisms? Once again, the same.

Everything was the same. Except it wasn’t.

Baji occasionally chimed in to each conversation while sporting an iconic grin. He looked happy but…

Absorbed in ‘what’s off’ thoughts, you stared down the raven haired delinquent as though he were an adult.

“What?” Baji asked.

You shook your head and smiled. “Not a thing.”

“If you got something to say, then say it.”

Repetitive in nature, the first occurrence was May.

October brought out the worst of it.

But October was the same.

So who's to say what 'off' really is, other than

—bad.

“Do ya hate me, Mr. Baji?”

“Where the hell’d you get that idea?” He scratched the back of his head. “Everything’s fine, ain’t it?”

“Tell me, do ya hate me?”

“I don't hate you, if I did you'd know.”

“I think ya do,” you said, bordering on accusatory.

“I don't, but if you don't knock this shit off, I might.”

The balancing act Baji was performing abruptly ended as the two elevated legs of his chair slammed back down to planet earth with a clack. The death of his casual tilt signified playtime had transcended into shut-the-hell-up time while irritation progressed to smear atop his features.

“My bad.” You scratched at your cheek, attempting to cover up the blunder with a smile.

There was no logic behind it, only

—emotion.

“Then… is something wrong?” You asked.

“Nothing I’m aware of.”

“What’s wrong?”

“What, you having trouble listening today? I said nothing, now stop asking.”

“Bummer.” You shot him a sinister grin. “I was hoping I could make ya slip up.”

“Hate to disappoint you but I got nothing to slip up on, so drop it.”

“‘Kay, since ya asked nicely, I will,” you taunted sweetly.

Baji furrowed his brow, looking ready to feed into your statement at any second. Instead, he opted to be the bigger person.

What a fine captain.

A role amongst models.

To function effectively as a unit, examples need to be set. Today, Baji decided to set a good example. Although if it were any other day, you'd be under verbal fire by now. Technically, still a good example; it’s called don’t egg on what can kill you.

Baji’s cup, aside from being empty, was being siphoned to call upon the obnoxious melody of: it’s ice. Just ice and maybe a few drops of melted ice. If it’s that dire, then fill it back up. Refills are meant to be free, even if they aren’t.

Baji sucked the skeletal remains out of his drink.

Straws are weapons of loud destruction.

Once that noise complaint of a distraction was out of the way, he focused his undivided attention to an ongoing distraction.

“You got something against your trash?” Baji asked.

“Meow—happy way early birthday.”

Amidst the tray of so-called trash was an amateur adaptation of a cat's face. With some fries here, some condiment cups there, a few fragments of plastic from a fork to spice things up, it was trash turned to treasure.

Arts and crafts, but make it fast food.

“Even if this is the best present anyone will ever give ya for the rest of your life, ya still gotta pretend you're happy when other people give ya inferior ones.”

Baji stared and opened his mouth to speak but instead, his head fell back in laughter.

Booming laughter.

The sound barrier was in danger of shattering.

“That's some real talent you got there.” He let out in hysterics, as if he'd never drawn something strikingly similar in pre-k. “You sure you don't wanna sell it off instead?”

“I'm not built for fame Mr. Baji. It's all yours.”

“That's too bad. You might've made enough to pay for your own meals for once.”

"Pass. I won’t be corrupted by currency.”

“Doubt you ever need to worry about that since you’re already corrupted by freeloading.”

"I chose my evil, but the scale can always tip." You shook your head in reflection. "Yup, that's a thought I lose sleep over."

"Man, you're gonna be the worst kinda person in a few years."

After staying well past food consumption recreation, a noisy group was on the move. Passing through the gates of all that is fast food, October greeted you through a pleasant breeze.

Right, there was still time to enjoy being alive before the next extreme season arrived. Since the reign of fire and pop sticks met an end, the reign of hypothermia and underage drinking would soon return. You were in good hands until that apocalypse of a season returned to cast hell upon those with borderline busted heaters. Autumn, aside from having good hands, was well mannered. Though its lifespan may be short, it existed for the purpose of one-upping its winter and summer brethren.

It didn’t have to try hard. Those guys were the worst.

In your current state, you were unfit for the upcoming activities. Wording it like that might be misleading, but meetings are still a form of activity. In a few hours, the entirety of Toman minus Baji would meet at Musashi Shrine.

First, you needed to hitch a ride home and say goodbye to your street clothes and hello to your uniform.

Tailing behind one of your squad mates got put on hold as the role model captain called out to you. Despite standing only a few steps away from the fast food empire, it was all the distance you needed to produce a manuscript of five hundred reasons as to why Baji wasn’t allowed at meetings.

He was a few steps too slow for his own demise.

“Sorry, but Mr. Baji's not allowed to go. I wonder if it's 'cos-”

“Go somewhere else,” he cut through.

Being the bigger person came with a time limit.

Coincidentally, that time limit just ended.

Verbal fire was never actually called off, only postponed.

“What, are ya sick of looking at my face today?”

“I'm not in the mood to play around. I'm telling you to go live somewhere else.”

“Huh?” Lost in translation, a blankness spread across your features. “Why would I do that?”

“Simple, because I told you to,” Baji said, bending words in an all but persuasive manner. “You don’t need any other reason.”

“No.”

Outright refusal.

Some took it better than others. Who they were would remain a mystery because the others in question would rather burn everything to the ground. Baji, despite being a role amongst models, didn't take it well.

“What part of that sounded optional to you?”

You kicked the toe of your shoe against the cement and looked up at the hellpath human.

When in doubt, tune a burning world out.

“The part where I said no.” You let out a phew of relief. “Now that we got that settled-”

“We won't have shit settled until you get away from that guy.”

With all of humanity leaving that prior disaster in the past, the present lies in wait for the next catastrophe. They didn't have to wait for long because, after a quick evaluation; it came to your attention that the radius around Baji transitioned into a flammable hazard zone. On its own, it wasn't a major threat and came with a simple remedy. Just throw a few dozen water parks over that has-been hazard and it'll be a danger to the public for generations to come. But just think how grateful the generations after that will be, so long as it didn't kick-start the death of mankind first.

“Oh. It’s about Mr. Sanzu again…” You pondered the ground for a moment. “I think ya need to get over it already,” despite the delivery, malice played no part—pure intentions offered advice to a friend.

No matter the intention, it comes down to perceptions. Because no one intended on dousing the flammable zone in gasoline, but these things happen, so perceive that they didn't. Better yet, perceive Baji as five notches above irritated and every dangerous comparison up until this point will be resolved.

Route unlocked: Emotions Minus Catastrophe.

—GOOD END.

“Did you forget who you’re talking to?”

“I’m talking to Mr. Baji.” You smiled. “But I think he’s feeling cranky today since Chifuyu ate all of his fries. I know ya would never say something like that with a clear head.”

“That's funny, because I am.”

Baji's typical grin remained absent.

That expression shouldn't be for you.

While the universe may not have been a natural born gambler, it knew to fully invest in what was about to transpire. The stars aligned to showcase the most unproductive conversation in all of human history. For nothing good comes from having firm beliefs, besides the free entertainment it provides for those with flimsy beliefs.

Transcending 'nothing good'; unbridled disaster comes from thinking genocide can be eradicated through explaining why it's bad. On the other hand, starting something is always easier than ending it. In this case, genocide can be achieved by explaining why it's bad even if it's bad.

And that's just no good.

You handed over a delicate smile as a letdown gift.

A doomsday smile.

“Hey Mr. Baji, whaddya think love is?”

“Love,” Baji answered, like it was the most obvious thing, but his confusion over the matter was visible. "What else would it be?"

“Then ya should get what you're telling me to do,” you spoke tenderly. “When ya love someone—like, really, really love someone, them not being there would be worse than dying, so you might as well just die if that’s the case.”

If Baji looked lost before, then he leveled up to become entirely absent.

Luckily, you leveled up to enlightenment.

“It's like running, and running, and running without knowing how to breathe,” you explained warmly. “So, how long do ya think people can live without air? For me it's a day. But what happens if I trip? Then I might run out of oxygen on the spot. But as long as I remember how to breathe again, it's okay. That's what being in love is, it's breathing while you're together and forgetting how when you're apart. So I'm serious, without him—”

I'd die, you said.

Reaching the grand finale, Baji forgot to clap but did well to stare.

As predicted by the: 'nothing good comes from' catalog, no good came from teaching what can't be taught;

Because you can't expect an alien who's familiar with long distance intergalactic love to suddenly understand why it should drop dead since it's still technically alone.

“Oh, you were being serious about all that…” Baji scratched his head. Something like bitterness tried to seep through fire defenses. “Well, get that shit outta your head ‘cos it's wrong.”

“Huh?” You cocked your head. “Ya think?”

“What, is that a surprise to you? Do you understand what just came outta your mouth?”

Fully aware of what came out of your mouth, you nodded.

“Uh-huh, I thought my explanation was way on point, but I guess it wasn't clear enough.” Dispirited by your tutoring failure, your shoulders hung in consequence. “Sorry for letting ya down Mr. Baji.”

If Baji scrunched his eyebrows any further, they’d be at risk of falling off. Thankfully, hyperboles are just exaggerations otherwise we’d be venturing into some troubling territory. Specifically, when faced with concepts that don’t align with our own flowchart of personal values, most will find that eyebrows can always scrunch further. And while he might’ve had tolerance equipped at the beginning of the day, we’re steadily approaching the death of afternoon, so we can presume that tolerance died fairly early on.

“No, I get it. I understand that everything you're saying's ass backwards.”

“Are ya saying it should be ass forwards?”

“I'm saying it shouldn't be so shot-out,” Baji snapped as his irritation peaked. “So lemme guess who fed you that wonderful line-”

“Wow, your way devoted today, huh Mr. Baji?” you asked, cutting his slander short. “Ya hate him that much?”

“Yeah, that's the idea,” Baji replied.

“How sad. Mr. Sanzu's the best human I've ever met.”

“Yeah? You sure we're talking about the same guy? Because what I'm seeing doesn't match up. Shit, at this point I'm convinced he doesn't even see you as a person.”

You looked at him in utter defeat.

“This entire time you've been trying to dump your feelings all over mine, so if anything…” A dim smile haunted your features. “I think it's Mr. Baji who doesn't see me as a person.”

“Don't be an idiot. If I didn’t, we wouldn't be standing here right now.” He paused to backtrack. “Look, I'm not saying any of this to be mean, alright?”

“Wow, ya totally fooled me Mr. Baji. But, since I love ya I’ll wipe this whole thing from my memory.” You continued at the speed of sound, “as long as we never talk about it again.”

“Yeah, that ain't gonna happen 'cos I need you to get it through your head—that guy doesn't care about you in the slightest, if he did, he wouldn't still be bringing you along to those sketchy ass jobs,” Baji disputed, as if he were chewing on nails.

"So, those are your beliefs? Hmm, I mean as long as it's somebody else's problem it becomes super easy to judge from the outside," your flippant demeanor smudged with a slight degree of malice.

The canines of a predator grit down in irritation; a sneak peek as to how this conflict would end.

"No one's judging anyone, but that's how it must seem when you're learning everything from some guy who shouldn't even be trusted to raise dirt."

“Hey, Mr. Baji.”

“What?”

“I’m happy. So stop tryna' change things—oh, and stop treating me like I don't understand anything. It's making me blush.” Finishing up with a coy smile, you were pushing to end it on a light note.

Baji preferred to carry on with a harsh note.

“I’ll be happy to stop once you move somewhere else.”

Watching the state of your captain;

You read without words.

Those stories were strange.

This story was one of the worst.

“Is this it?”

“Is it what?”

“'Off’,” you said, serious as ever. “This is what's been making ya seem 'off'. Right, Mr. Baji?”

“I hate to break it to you, but something like this wouldn’t get me bent out of shape.”

“Then what is?”

“I told you already, nothing,” he barked.

“But I think that’s a lie,” you offered a straight faced reply. “Lately, every time I’m with ya I get this real gross feeling. Like—something’s crawling under my skin. So, just tell the truth and stop being off.”

“Well, you're in luck 'cos 'off' don't exist,” Baji snapped. “And I gotta say that's a damn funny accusation you're throwing around, considering how much you lie on average.”

“I don't lie, Mr. Baji,” you shot back with an irrefutable delivery, yet your tone fell flat.

In a game of words, yours opted to play offense.

There wasn't a single crack or flaw in your execution; even your exterior was solid as diamond. The assertive nature of it almost seemed desperate.

It was a delicate balance.

It was a lack of footing.

It was fragile territory.

For the portrayal of diamond was nothing more than the shell of an egg; also known as radical denial.

“Alright, then you won't mind telling me how you broke your wrist. And don’t give me that ‘I wasn’t paying attention’ shit.”

You held it all together, only to have your composure snap right here.

Baji’s feet were planted further in the ground than yours ever could.

Dread arrived at the scene.

“I’m not lying.”

“Sure seems like it. I know there’s something not right about the entire thing. All I have to do is bring it up for you to get like that."

“I really hate all these conversations, so just-”

–stop.

Just stop.

Baji slashed through your request.

He wasn’t acting the way he’s supposed to.

“I'm your friend, ain’t I?” Baji’s question was sincere despite the brutality behind it.

Amber eyes squinted at your figure, as if urging for your compliance;

As if demanding a different version of you.

"Yeah, but…" you murmured.

But friends don't…

“Then stop feeding me bullshit excuses. If you can't do that, then it's only proving my point.”

Baji’s conviction emitted an eternal blaze.

Even before it engaged with yours, this was destined to result in a gruesome demise.

—a mutual demise.

Watch as two suns collide.

“I'll hate ya if ya don’t stop,” you mumbled, as the threads of your composure frayed.

Faced with such indistinct conviction, a grin flickered to tug at Baji’s lips.

“If it's that easy, then go right ahead,” he said, encouraging your threat with a provoking tone.

Baji was supposed to be a good person.

So why didn’t he stop yet?

He always stops.

Always.

Baji was supposed to be a good person.

Nothing was supposed to change.

Never.

“......”

“Whatever it was, wouldn't have happened if you weren't tagging along with that guy. You need to get it through your head, ‘cos eventually things might not play out the way you hoped. When that happens, don’t think for a second you mean anything to him.”

Baji was supposed to love you.

But this wasn't…

If he loved you, he would've stopped.

He didn't love you.

Which meant he hated you.

Which meant–

“You're a shit-head asshole Baji,” the thread split, as sharp words came out free and easy.

With eyes fixed on the captain, death's blade loomed over your shoulder. It was a mutual exchange. That was the type of environment this disheveled into. Both parties exerted an overwhelming pressure without sparing the faintest trace of concern for civilian life.

“Look at that,” Baji commended mockingly. “You finally figured out how to say my name.” A wolfish grin established permanent residency, if only out of limitless irritation.

“Uh-huh.” You nodded with enthusiasm. “It's shit-head asshole.”

Though it was dim, Baji was identical to the color black. In a city where stars couldn’t reach, he fit right in. Humans are only human. You shouldn’t expect them to shine.

You turned to reject the color you hated most.

Placing one foot in front of the other.

A formless world forgot its name.

In the vast emptiness;

Baji's words reached you.

But sound didn’t exist in this version of earth.

You missed Sanzu so deeply.

It was uncomfortable; not wearing skin.

On a quest to nowhere soon, you covered a hefty proximity. Consumed by playing out the prior dispute in your head on loop, all else disappeared.

Including your location.

It was irrelevant.

Betrayal bestowed by a person who should’ve loved you was an unfamiliar field. All you could do was find more and more fault in Baji’s actions.

Picking it apart.

Putting it back together.

There was no breakthrough in understanding.

Only raw emotion.

Unpleasant emotions.

Ripping your throat down to your stomach.

If not for the descent of sunlight, you might have continued on like that until time ceased to exist. Luckily, the sun had your back. Unluckily, you didn’t have the slightest clue where you were.

But Mr. 7 did.

Or at least an employee working there did.

Mr. 7 would never be caught dead in the land of mortals.

The chain of fate was a quad colored convenience store.

Conveniently placed in a convenient location, glowing signage acted as a beacon of hope. As if things couldn’t get anymore convenient, the woman manning the register was nice enough to let you use the store phone. Penniless pockets couldn’t afford a pay phone, so Mrs. Cashier spared every store in the surrounding area from the worst kind of customer.

Typing in the number to the joint cell phone, it wrung

And wrung…

And answered—in the form of: leave a message after the beep.

Meeting such a fate didn’t discourage you until about the tenth or so attempt.

Then it was dreadfully discouraging.

As the phone wrung for the ×-th time, you shoved your hand in your pocket. Confused by its contents, you pulled out what felt like a thick piece of paper, which was in fact a card, so technically still paper. It must've been in hibernation for some time now, because the last time you wore this jacket was—a date you didn’t know off the top of your head.

Long ago… before the era of roaches, you wore a jacket.

The end.

Created for this exact moment, the crumpled business card printed with kanji (whose meaning was still in question) accompanied a set of numbers. Your life line. Mrs. Loaded Lady may have overdone it with card quantity, but right about now she seemed like an angel sent to combat despair.

Typing in the numbers listed on the lucky business card, it wrung.

—barely.

“Ito residence,” greeted the voice of an elegant angel.

“Hey lady, it’s me,” replied the voice of an inelegant pedestrian.

“Me…? Oh, yes, of course, it seems that those cards served their purpose–”

It goes without saying, the name she addressed you by wasn’t yours.

“Uh-huh, they super served their purpose ‘cos I’m super lost right now.”

Or at least this one that undoubtedly went through the wash served its purpose.

The card of origin.

“I see, so transportation is in order? My hands are tied at the moment, but I can send someone who is just as capable.”

“You’re a real good person, y’know?” you said, almost touched to tears by her absolute good will.

“I’m glad to be of help, dear,” she replied pleasantly. “I’ll write down your location and send someone right away.”

Communicating the address from the convenient cashier to the upstanding citizen on the line, she ensured someone would be there soon. 'There', was apparently Shibuya, meaning you stayed within range of where you started.

With that, she called you by another name and hung up.

It was efficient, if nothing else.

Parting with your short time assistant, Mrs. Cashier continued her shift in peace. Passing through the automatic doors, you manned the sidewalk in wait.

A long, long, wait.

Patiently pacing, a familiar car entered your vision. Tinted windows and a build fitting of higher society, you waved gleefully as it pulled up beside you. The figure of a man occupied the driver's seat, presumably Madam Loaded’s butler, who beckoned you in with a wave. Opening the door and hopping into the back, you met the support of leather seats with a fwmp.

“Thanks for the lift, mister.”

You grinned, looking around the spacious vehicle. It couldn’t be further from Mr. Scumbag’s human death trap, and the scent of harsh cleansers only widened that gap; for scum never cleans.

“It's my pleasure. So where am I taking you?”

Locks sounded with a click.

A steady grip shifted the clutch.

The turn signal blinked in repetition.

Tires hummed over loose gravel and asphalt.

Steering away from the curb and onto the road, the makeshift taxi sped up.

Looking straight ahead, your gaze went stiff.

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

Slender hands coiled around your throat.

Cold hands severed oxygen from your lungs.

Someone was behind you.

Strangling you.

Their grip twisted around your neck.

Digging into skin.

& constricting.

—tighter tighter tighter tighter tighter tighter-

They won't stop and you can't breathe.

They—aren't real.

It's just a feeling.

—a really bad feeling.

Demons pretend to be human and wear their flesh.

Through the rearview mirror, a fine tongued politician held eye contact. Eye as in singular; a patch covered the other. Adorned in a suit and tie, his image impersonated the ranks of those who’ve never touched dirt, despite being covered in filth. Well-mannered lips of an upstanding citizen curved to welcome you.

Wide eyed and vacant, you smiled out of fear.

In the confines of your lap, violent fingers threaded to silence trembling hands;

Strangling one another.

“Miss?”

“—Shibuya Station, please.”

There was a disconnect.

This car existed in a separate reality.

The outside world decomposed into a blur of shapes and colors.

Survive.

The sole term that reached you.

It was one that always relied on physical strength.

This version relied on something else entirely;

Words.

To lie through your teeth.

To become someone else.

You're not you.

There was no room for error.

You had to be perfect.

You had to bear it.

You had to.

“I'm glad I finally had the opportunity to meet you. We must have just missed each other at the firework festival.”

You felt hot.

So uncomfortably hot.

Dampness enveloped your palms.

He knew.

He already knew.

“Ah, I've gone out of order already, my apologies. It's nice to meet you. My name is Ito Akiyoshi. Ito written with the characters this and wisteria. Akiyoshi written with the characters autumn and luck. You're acquainted with my wife and son. They–no. My wife said she ran into you while looking for me.”

This is that kid's dumb dad?

The guy who broke your nose.

The 'bad guy' you were fighting.

The scumbag you robbed thanks to the pretense of prostitution.

“It's nice to meet you,” you said, paying close attention to your pronunciation.

Everything was uncomfortable.

You weren't you.

“I heard a lot of good things about you,” you added.

“Likewise.” He glanced up at the rearview mirror. “So, do you live around here?”

“I do, but not for much longer. We're in the process of moving.”

“What a shame. Moving can be rather difficult for children your age, I hope it's not too far.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I wish it could’ve been closer. I mean, Osaka seems nice, but I’m gonna miss my friends.”

“I can imagine.”

It'll be okay.

You don't know him.

“Though, judging by the manner of your speech,” he said, without the slightest waver in tone, “I take it that this is not your first time moving.”

“—hah, you got me there.” You converted the shock into a smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I typically am.” He chuckled in a light-hearted demeanor.

His gaze was consistent.

Back and forth between the road and the mirror.

Consistent in watching you.

Observing you.

It’s fine.

You don’t know him.

“It’s a bit hard to tell from up here, but on your hand, is that a tattoo?” Akiyoshi asked.

“Yeah, it is.”

“It looks quite faded.”

“I’ve had it for a few years now, so I think that’s normal.”

Normal meaning unprofessional.

Normal if you don’t go deep enough.

Normal isn’t actually normal if you look at the time frame.

Normally, you wouldn’t ever be thankful for botched ink on your thumb.

It's okay.

It existed as proof.

You don't know him.

“I see. Your parents must be lenient, no?”

“No, they were really mad.”

"Mm, rightfully so. What is it they do for a living?"

“Ah, my parents…”

“Yes, how about your mother?”

“She works from home.”

“And your father?”

“His work makes him travel a lot.”

“I see, but what is it that they do exactly?”

“I wonder, do you need a job?”

“No, I'm quite alright.” He chuckled. "I'm just curious, nothing more.”

See, it’s okay.

Because, you don’t know him.

You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't-

“Tell me,” he demanded pleasantly, “do you, by chance, have any siblings?”

His voice upheld the same formalities, without a shred of ill intent.

But you could feel the decay in his words.

Burrowing under your skin.

Decomposing the car's interior.

—while a clean world was rotting with miasma.

You held your breath.

“I have an older sister but she left for school awhile back. Fukuoka, I think,” you said, blurting out the first location that came to mind.

“Fukuoka,” he repeated. “Even from Osaka, that's quite the trip. How often is it that she visits?”

“It's rare.” You shook your head dejectedly. “The most recent time was last autumn. Sad, huh?”

He didn't offer a response.

Your heartbeat shattered atop his silence.

Bad ends are everywhere, one misstep is all it takes. Up until now you've pursued your fair share of those routes. Have you lost count yet? There's no shame in not keeping track of numbers among other things. The point that matters is the sheer abundance of them, although that being said;

There's only one true ending.

But that one's not intended for you.

After all, a bad ending had been sitting beside you this entire time; you should know since you brought it here.

—that feeling.

What an irresponsible parent, letting it get so carried away.

It hated that you could breathe.

It wanted you dead.

You shouldn't have exposed your neck.

The one up front must be thinking the same thing.

The stillness violated your senses.

It was hard to breathe.

“Very,” he finally replied. “I can see the resemblance.”

“Hm?” You tilted your head curiously. It was almost as if you weren't just contemplating the survival rating of jumping out of the car. “Do you know her?”

“Not quite, though I believe I may have seen her in passing.” He cleared his throat. “Nevertheless, I wish her well in her studies.”

“I'll pass her the message.”

He smiled in recognition.

“I must say I was surprised, my wife seemed adamant about getting you.”

“She's a good person.”

“That she is. Thanks to her, there is not a day that passes where I don’t feel the grace of luck,” the cheating scum boasted. “My only gripe is, that memory of hers could use some improvement. Wouldn’t you say–?”

The name he called you—it wasn't yours.

Which meant he got it from—his wife.

Hah…ha…haha…

She really was a good person.

“I think she's exactly how she's supposed to be, and if she heard you saying things like that, I bet it'd make her cry.”

“I see. Well, please forgive me, I meant no harm by it. Truthfully, she wasn't always like that. I believe it has something to do with the anxiety of recent times. With all those girls disappearing. Though I can’t help but to share her concern,” he said, as empathy lingered in his tone. "If my son were to go missing, I don't want to think about the sort of man I'd become. Yet—that fear is a reality for many, I'm afraid."

Not this.

Not with him.

Not something that feels this heavy.

Guilt became a fugitive that inhabited your stomach.

You borrowed a shit rumor from a certain worm.

“—I heard it’s a yokai who's adding new wives to his collection. What do you think?”

“A yokai.” He chuckled. “That's the first I've heard of it.” He tapped on the steering wheel with the pads of his forefinger. “We expect monsters to act like monsters in the same sense in which we expect humans to act like humans. In truth, that story of yours is the better reality.”

“Yeah,” you agreed. “If I had to choose one, I'd rather be eaten by a yokai instead of getting stabbed by a friend.”

"I see. Escapism is rather prevalent in youth," he stated. "Well, adding an option that doesn't already exist can ease the harshness of reality. In this case, without a yokai, the guilt of this matter falls upon the friend. Though in the eyes of a child, it's easier to accept that it was a monster instead of their own kind."

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t expect to see a yokai out on the streets? What a letdown, I seriously believed in that rumor.”

“Believe what you like dear. Don’t let an old man sway your opinion.”

“What old man?”

“I can see why my wife likes you.”

That absolutely wasn't why, but that was a different matter.

“So, was your son busy too?”

“Yes, in a sense.”

"Oh.” You scrambled for a reply. “I guess that’s better than being bored."

"Yes, and no. We got into a bit of a disagreement earlier. Truth be told, that's why I'm here in the first place." He let out half of a laugh. "He's a difficult one, but it's unlikely that he would've come out of his room if I were still there."

"How sad."

“Yes, well, you know how boys are at that age. We butt heads more than I’d care to admit, but he will come around once he’s older.”

“Right. That's how it always works.” Quick to agree, you didn’t have the faintest idea what you were talking about.

“I hate to cut our conversation short, but our trip is already nearing its end. Who could have imagined you were this close.”

The car came to a gradual stop.

A blurred world became clear.

Shibuya Station glimmered with the white light of sanctuary.

The front seat scum turned to face you but the fabric covering his eye sucked you in. It wasn't every day you saw that kind of thing, plus it looked out of place on the clean face, suit and tie type—or on any type.

Best case scenario was that his wife snapped and dealt an eye ending blow.

Pain hurts worse when it’s delivered by a loved one.

Mid case scenario was that a prostitute lashed out on him for trying to skip his tab.

Those who excel at delivering pleasure must also excel delivering pain. Or at least that’s what you assumed. Like a warrior code but with some glitter thrown on top.

“Curious?” He pointed at the cloth, as you lagged to avert your eyes. “It's alright, most children are. Come visit us sometime and I'll be glad to share the story. It's quite funny, if I might add.”

“Okay, I’ll call if I’m ever back in the area.”

“Ah, that's right. And I had the nerve to complain about my wife's memory.” He laughed to himself, momentarily forgetting that adults aren’t funny. “Well then, please, don't hesitate to call if the need be,” he said delightfully. “Though I can’t promise we can be of any help if you're in Osaka.”

“Thanks, it was really nice meeting you.”

Opening the car door, you stepped out onto the street. Turning back, you smiled, waving your hand loosely in parting as he pulled away.

—not yet.

In a bustling city, floodlights imitated the sun in a showing of advertisements, while electronic billboards encapsulated the future. Buildings were built to tower above giants in a flashy display. The clashing sounds of commercials, cars, people and music made for a noisy soundtrack but it needed to be louder. The busiest pedestrian crossing held no shortage of people. From salarymen to teenagers, each had somewhere they needed to be. You needed to be anywhere else.

Blending into the swarm of bodies, it wasn't enough.

It felt like you were being watched.

—not yet.

Approaching an entrance to the station and wedged well within the masses, it wasn't enough.

It didn’t feel safe.

—not yet.

Passing through the turnstile and mixing into the structure, it wasn't enough.

You walked with perfect posture.

—not yet.

Entering the public restroom, the noise and chatter of the world ceased to exist.

Excess water occupied tile floors.

Stall doors hung wide open.

Fluorescent lighting beckoned your head to throb.

Using the wall for support, you sunk down into a crouch.

Sharply inhaling.

Sharply exhaling.

The long-term effects of inhaling miasma were scribbled in black.

Defacing humans with their least favorite shade—no.

How could there be favorites if there was only ever one?

This one.

Smudging over the lines, every page was black.

With your face propped up on buzzing hands.

Unstable breaths dispersed from your lips.

A chill wandered up your spine.

You stared at the floor.

You were alone.

Yet, no safer.

There was no relief, only this;

Agony tore through your psyche to inspire the worst.

You spilled over and exposed all the filth that couldn't be erased. To witness yourself turn inside out in a public place seemed like a corrupted god's take on entertainment. Tears welled yet refused to touch skin already drenched in arsenic. Black matter lashed down to splatter against each and every tile and crack. The bad parts were getting out.

You couldn't live like this.

You closed your eyes.

It was hard to think with so many gnats buzzing around inside your skull. As a last ditch effort, you crammed your brain full of static.

The gnats died miserably.

It was hard to think with so much noise shrieking around inside of your skull. As a last ditch effort, you devoured white noise and in return; it devoured you.

The white noise died miserably.

Sound burst into silence.

Time ticked sideways.

The faucet dripped.

Home.

You needed to go home.

You needed to get to Sanzu.

How?

The door creaked open

Heels clacked against tile.

Stepping into the inhospitable zone of a zigzag crisis was a dress suit harboring a middle-aged woman inside. It only took one step before the fumes got to her head, taking half a glance at you before she offered a curt bow.

I'm sorry, please excuse me, spilled from her lips.

She snatched the door handle fast enough to outrun the plague, but the precision of a predator outmatched the plague and captured her wrist. You looked up at the lifeline like a dog who lost its bite.

“A phone,” it came out as less of a request, and rather some poorly strung together plea. “Do ya have one?”

“Yes,” she squeaked, digging through her purse as if she were being held at gunpoint. “Here.”

Trading off the small peace offering, it was sleeker than the clunky kin you were accustomed to. For an adult in a dress suit, her taste in phones was suitable for her kind, suitable meaning second-rate, and her kind meaning scum who should disappear. Nevertheless, you punched in the only number you could.

It wrung… once.

“Where are you?” Sanzu asked, without so much as waiting for any indication of who he was talking to.

“Shibuya Station,” you answered plainly.

“That’s a surprise. You're not in the middle of nowhere for a change.” Sanzu said, his words corrupted by static.

“...”

—say it.

“Stay by the Hachiko exit and don’t go anywhere.”

“...”

—say it.

“Answer me if you're there.”

—just say it.

“Sorry,” you mumbled. “it's just-”

“Is this your first time using a phone? If you want me to hear you, speak up.”

"Sorry but I…"

“I messed up again, real, real bad this time.” Wide eyed and high-strung, you tore your fingers through your hair. “I really, really, really–”

“You must have shit service, I can barely hear you. Just go wait at the Hachiko exit for now. Oh, and-”

The line beeped three times.

Then went silent.

The call dropped.

You stared at the screen for a few seconds.

Your end didn't have service.

……

Wait at the entrance.

That’s what he told you to do.

You looked up at the hostage.

“The Hachiko exit,” you repeated, offering the dress suit her phone back.

“Take a right from here and go straight,” she said, making a clean escape.

Relinquishing a world record crouch, you stood up and offered meager self-encouragement by rubbing any sign of this incident from your eyes. Trekking through sludge and filth, there was no sentiment as you departed from the graveyard entrails. Thanks to the dress suit's aid of direction, you emerged from the ever gleaming Hachiko exit.

You did a bad job today.

But waiting was something even you could do.

The night greeted you with pitch black skies. Judging by the harsh decline of foot traffic, it must’ve been getting late. Walking by blank face after face, you headed towards the Hachiko memorial statue.

There was a lingering sense of unrealness to everything. A divide existed between you and all the rest. Those loved by the universe, and those hated by it.

If it hated you today;

It might love you again tomorrow.

While you had no say in the matter, you'd sooner wring its neck out than ever accept this degree of punishment again.

Mr. Baji hated you today.

He'll hate you again tomorrow.

When Sanzu hears what you did, he might hate you today too–no.

He's the only one who can never hate you.

The laws of the universe said so.

…….

You did a bad job today.

You never wanted to be away from Sanzu again.

You never wanted to be alone again.

You never wanted to be alone.

Bad things always happen when you're alone.

The massive crowds weren’t nearly as massive, even the occupancy at the meet-up memorial dwindled. Replicating something akin to sitting, you took to a slanted bench that detested the homeless. You looked up at the most loyal dog in Japan; Hachiko. It might be dead, but the bronze statue portrayed the living version. If it waited nine years for its owner to return, then how could that be considered loyalty? If it were that loyal, it shouldn��t have let them leave in the first place.

It shouldn’t have lived after.

Something that tasteless wasn’t loyalty.

It was a pitiful display of betrayal.

……

Maybe you should’ve been born a dog. Humans have too loose of leashes.

Despite not receiving your seal of approval, Hachiko never left you alone. It would’ve been concerning if he somehow did, or maybe impressive is the right word. You could never agree with the faux version of loyalty he stood for, but in an odd way, you appreciated the company.

Because you weren’t technically alone.

You weren’t alone, so you tried to rearrange shattered glass.

You weren’t Sanzu; you were only you. So, what exactly were you trying to solve?

You shoved your hands into the abyss of glass.

A solution never came.

October existed every year to harbor the weight of watching oneself die. Stray leaves dressed the cobblestone at your feet while sectioned off trees remained within the confines of grass and cement. Today they were feeling orange, tomorrow they might feel red; the colors of humans and plants weren’t the same.

Yet no plant or human could ever compare to that shade of cleansing white.

Gifted with the stealth of every cat in Tokyo, Sanzu stayed under the radar until he spawned in front of you. Of blonde hair and gentle features, he was every single star that a sleepless city never got to see. Your vision blurred with a fondness that could snuff out the sun, but blue eyes simply gazed. If you knew anything, it was the language they spoke. No–the picture they painted.

It was serene as rain.

Typhoons stuck to summer.

For now, light showers whispered through the night.

“Let’s go.” Not seeming particularly chatty, Sanzu extended his hand out towards yours.

Reaching out in one frame you clung to his arm in the next, spewing an incoherent mess of what vaguely resembled, I don't want you to hate me, into his sleeve.

“Hm? What made you think that? It’s not like you went off and got lost again, so you have nothing to worry about,” Sanzu retorted.

“That's not it.” You looked up and bit the bullet. “I got in the car with that man.”

“Then don't get into the car with people you don't know. I don't know what else you want me to tell you.” With no intention of taking your words at face value, he pulled his arm back. “C’mon.”

Thanks to the route chosen by a certified moron, the aftermath needed to be handled by someone who was capable. Shaking your head with cruciality, a pained expression ate away at the short-term relief.

“No, the one that broke my nose.”

Exhibiting the composure that didn’t come standard with your model, Sanzu looked at you with a deep sense of suspicion in his eyes. Briefly, he weighed out the accuracy of your claims.

“Make it easy and tell me what actually happened,” Sanzu said, with his scale tipping to the 'don't believe a word that she says’ side.

“I'm serious, he drove me here,” you said, putting a desperate strain on the delivery.

It’s not often that Sanzu looks so entirely blank, but in seconds flat a vague grasp wiped it clean. Working with a fresh canvas, his eyebrows scrunched in sheer bewilderment.

Summer came early and so did the typhoons.

“I didn't think I'd need to tell you something so obvious, but that was careless of me so listen to what I'm about to say—ready?” Sanzu asked, solely to paint on the condescending nature of it all. “Don't get into the car with people you've mugged.” Amidst his backlash, Sanzu spared minimal room to effectively get his point across, and simultaneously deflect the threat of nosy ears.

“I’m sorry, I didn't realize until he was already driving.”

“So it just didn't occur to you to check whose car you were getting into? No, on second thought; 'already driving' seems like the perfect time to check.”

“I'm sorry,” came out pitifully but it was the best you could give.

Despite the expected bout of snide remarks, Sanzu dialed back and took a breath for the sake of composure. Recalibrated in presence, he continued with a clear head.

“Whose car were you supposed to be getting into?”

“That one. The rich lady said it's no good to wander around at night, so I called the number on the card.” You said, pulling the sad thing from your pocket. “She's a good person, but she's married to a bad man.”

With eyes fixed on the card, you seared each character into your psyche while offering Sanzu the briefest summary you could.

“Look at me,” Sanzu demanded, to which you obliged. “I don’t care how nice they were to you, if you ever see them again don’t talk to them, and stay out of sight. Understand?”

“I do.”

“Good.” He snatched the card from your hand. “Is this what you were shoving behind the drawer?”

Biting your lip plaintively, you nodded.

When Mrs. Loaded saddled you with all those cards, you were on the fence about throwing them out since space is less than limited. Instead, guilt swerved you to an alternate route. As it stands, if one were to remove the dresser drawer, they might conclude that drug paraphernalia was stashed in the interior. But reality is often disappointing—especially if you’re a cop. In the end, it was just a convoluted way of preserving the cards. Some people just happen to conceal drugs in the same manner. It’s not clear who’s copying who.

Not that their location mattered in the end.

Soft features expressed a neutral appearance, as Sanzu sustained his decisive as always nature.

“All of them need to get thrown out.”

“Okay, but—is that gonna be enough?” Your words spiraled as you senselessly stuffed your hands back into mounds of glass. “Like, I really, really, really messed up this time. He’s gonna figure out I was lying, right? And then-”

“As long as you listen to me, everything'll be fine, yeah?”

Effortlessly, Sanzu vanquished a shattered earth.

In the mess of the moment, familiar words were an entity you nearly forgot. There was a peace of mind that accompanied them, more so than usual.

Acting alone was a nightmare you’d like to bury.

The burden didn’t have to be yours.

“Right as always, Mr. Sanzu,” you said, as a vague smile touched your features.

Even if you fucked it up to shit—nothing would change.

After all;

Sanzu was always right.

So long as he made the decisions;

You could remain happy, and everything would be okay.

“So what happened, you were supposed to be with Baji weren’t you?”

“Yeah I was, but we got into a real bad fight. I wasn’t thinking, so I walked away, but… I don't want him to hate me.”

The memory possessed the potency of concentrated poison.

Baji was bull-headed at times, even a shit-head asshole. But that was just today’s version of him. When you broke your wrist, he always barged in to visit. Baji wasn’t well off either, but he always paid for your meals. Plus, if shit really hit the fan, he was someone you could rely on.

But above all;

Baji was a good person.

“He doesn't, right?” you asked. “He doesn’t hate me?”

At the time, you detached from a majority of the interaction. Yet, right at the end, you split into pieces that would’ve bitten down if the survival rating wasn’t zero. Baji’s existence was rewritten as someone else. Was that you, or were you rewritten too?

To harbor a feeling that intense seemed wrong.

That state of mind manifested as a paradox.

It overflowed until it was empty.

That wasn't you.

It wasn’t either one of you.

Seemingly out of reach, sleepy eyes studied the ground. Taking your worries out on your nails, anything besides an immediate reply felt unbearable. The people you loved could never hate you—that route would diminish you to nothing.

Shooting a stalled gaze back into your soul, Sanzu’s tone was ruthless and to the point.

“Baji betrayed Toman.”

“...”

Your perception lagged.

No, not lagged.

It was trying to figure out what Sanzu actually said because-

“Do you understand? He changed sides.”

“Sorry, but I don’t really wanna play right now.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

"Hey…" You pouted. "That's too harsh, even for you Mr. Sanzu."

“Is it? I don’t remember doing anything wrong.”

Sanzu had a talent for sharpening words into weapons, but this wasn't that. Otherwise, why would they sound so dull? For the sake of not drifting too far out of character, and not becoming someone else.

Sanzu had a talent for sharpening words into weapons, but it's not like he had a talent for making blankets out of them. Because people just do what they know how and straying from that path doesn't always work as intended. There's comfort in sticking to your own script, trying to read someone's else's makes it come out all wrong. The tactician can attempt the role of the nurturer but that's not what they signed up for. It's mean to make those demands. So, adjust the standard to something more realistic, anyone can be anything, even if it's far from the source material.

The source.

Sanzu was at a loss.

He wasn't built for soothing.

He was just doing what he knew how.

He wasn’t a nurturer, but his pores were full of seeds.

If he wasn’t a nurturer, then the adjusted term said differently.

Accepting any burden was something he could do, but handing over emotions just wasn't plausible. Not here at least. Not with this.

Sanzu was a dull blade, and that's what made this scary.

It was cruel. Something like pity dripped from a knife that couldn't cut.

A black hole formed in your chest.

A dejected onslaught engulfed your face.

“Are ya that mad at me?” you asked, desperately clawing for a different motive.

Crossing his arms in resignation, Sanzu opted to not answer with a reply.

Sanzu is always right. But…

Baji was a good person.

Baji is a good person.

Baji is.

—a good person.

If not, then that made him…

—a bad person.

Even if Sanzu forfeited his words, no–even if he didn’t know how to use them; he didn't need to. It needed to be established because it was real, it wouldn't go away, it couldn't be ignored.

He laid it all out.

Sanzu spoke without words.

His gaze was iron, and you were being crushed.

Why couldn’t it have been paper?

"Oh."

Indistinct voices passed by in crowds.

Pale eyes would always be a language you’d never read.

Love would always be a condition that you just couldn’t reach.

October would always echo the cycle of death and decay.

A vacant smile brushed by your lips.

“So he really did—hate me.”

—

It hurts.

#s:loyal as a dog #sanzu #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu haruchiyo x reader #tokyo revengers #akashi haruchiyo #sanzu x reader #tokyo revengers sanzu #tokyorev x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #sanzu haruchiyo x you #sanzu x you #haruchiyo sanzu x y/n #sanzu x y/n

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fawn-eyed-girl · 2 years

Note

You know I can't resist asking about Hackers AU!

Ahhh my dear @neutronstarchild! You and @vitya-z both asked about this fic, and oh my goodness, I am really happy to talk about this one! I spend an insane amount of time thinking about it, even if when I looked at the WiP doc, it's not as plotted as I thought it was (probably because it's all in my head at this point still, I think...)

It's gonna be LONG, and with a complicated story arc, one that's really hard to put into a Tumblr post at this point 😅 But let's say that it involves hacker Reki, sweet bean boyfriend Langa, nefarious government official Ainosuke, and mysterious neighbor Kaoru...who may or may not be the most elusive, and the most successful, hacker of them all. (Until Reki came along, that is...)

ANYWAY... here is a little bit of the synopsis thus far, below the cut! (I hope this does it justice....) Thank you again for asking about this one! 👟👟👟

By day, Kyan Reki is a typical, unassuming, college student. He’s an art major who loves skateboarding, his job at the local skate shop, and his boyfriend Langa (who he also lives with).

But by night, Kyan Reki has a secret: he’s a fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants hacker who likes to make a game of breaking into private databases and pranking them. He’s good; he’s got the chops; and, he’s all self-taught.

Reki and Langa's life is pretty quiet and normal (except for the whole hacking thing). The most exciting part of their lives is their sulky neighbor, Sakurayashiki-san, a man in his early 30s who supposedly owns a calligraphy business, but is weird and mysterious, and is always after them for knocking over the trash cans. Langa and Reki joke that he must run some kind of secret business on the side, since no one can earn that much money on calligraphy alone.

And then, a hack into a government official's documents reveals much more than Reki was looking for, and when the wrong people discover just how much he knows, he stands to lose the thing that is most precious to him.

Reki is desperate, but is he desperate enough to accept help from his weird, trash-can neighbor, who apparently knows way more about this whole situation than he's letting on?

You bet he is.

My WiP Challenge list

#wip challenge #neutron asks #vitya-z asks #fawnie answers #renga hackers #my god i'm excited for this one #asks are open 💖

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cherryonigiri · 4 years

Text

S/O that thirsts over anime/game guys

reposted bc wasn’t showing up in the tags + I want to keep nsfw under the cut

@nononononojustno asked: Okay so could you write a headcanon where 2 random boys (can you pick then? I love all of boys from hq) and Ushi-kun where they walk on their gfs fangirling or thirsting over another anime/game character?And she was talking how hot he is? How they would react?👀😂 have a great day/night and dont forget to eat and get rest, love you💕

A/N: hahahahaha i laughed while writing this. FYI these are all based on legit crushes i had on anime/game characters at some point in my life - see if you’ve watched the shows i’ve watched :) ILY I PROMISE I’M DOING MY BEST TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAY AND GET ADEQUATE SLEEP MWAH. also i went overboard and added an extra boy bc why not. These are a little shorter since there were 4 characters but I hope you enjoy!

Content warning: implied nsfw for Atsumu + slight nsfw hcs for Matsukawa (both are under the cut)

PS: If anyone wants a spicy sequel/one shot for matsukawa i’m open to the idea 👀👀 let me know in my inbox!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima definitely knows you’re into anime + games

Having visited your dorm room on multiple occasions he’s seen your extensive collection of manga, anime posters and you always seem to be playing on your switch whenever you have free time

Of course, he notices a significant portion of your collection is centered on male characters

And you’ve definitely mentioned a few games to him - Ikemen Sengoku, Code:Realize, Hakuouki (wow i’m really out here exposing myself) etc.

He doesn’t really mind though? Like - at the end of the day these are 2D men, whereas he is a very real boyfriend

At least he thinks he doesn’t mind

Recently, he notices that you seem to be on your phone a lot, and you seem to be texting the same group chat very often

He asks why and you laugh - it’s not actual text messages you’re just trying out a new otome/simulation game called Mystic Messenger. He finds the name silly but he just brushes it off he’s definitely J E A L O U S

Until one day he walks into your room while you’re calling one of your friends to freak out about that specific game

You sound kind of teary from outside the door “Oh MY GOD OH MY GOD I GOT THE GOOD ENDING WITH JUMIN!” and “[friend name] I THINK I CAN DIE HAPPY I’M MARRIED TO JUMIN HAN WHAT MORE DO I NEED IN LIFE” and “HE’S SO FREAKING ATTRACTIVE UGH I AM BLESSED”

He’s like who TF is Jumin and immediately bursts into your room looking pissed off

Poor babie is all like “you’re married?” and “if you had someone else you were interested in you should have told me.” “Who is this Jumin Han???” 🧐

Oh my god you start cackling, but you manage to tell him that NO you are not married and that Jumin Han is a fictional character from the game you’re playing

Ushijima looks confused after you explain - why would you find fictional men attractive when you’re already dating him?

Tendou almost dies laughing the next day when Ushijima tells him about what happened

Oikawa Tooru

Since practice finishes pretty late he usually goes to see you at your house at night, but tonight things wrapped up earlier - he’s excited to spend more time with you

You’ve finished up most of your homework so you’ve just been rewatching Attack on Titan since you’re super excited for the new season

You’re kinda distracted/have headphones on so you don’t hear your boyfriend knock on the front door. Your mom answers it and lets him in and he climbs the stairs

He can hear your fangirling (freaking out) over something as he walks towards your room

You jump in surprise when he opens the door, because you thought he would be a bit later but immediately release your pent up excitement

“Tooru just LOOK at him he’s such a bad ass like oh my gosh he literally has swords and he’s still running around slaying the MPs who have guns. God whenever he gets angry he looks so hot,” etc. etc.

You’re shoving your laptop in his face, showing him gifs and video of attack on titan, specifically the captain of the survey corps that you are obsessed with

Tooru gets it - for him its space, shitty alien films and astronomy. For you it’s video games and anime - or more specifically, handsome characters from said franchises

Even though he understand that it’s something you’re passionate about he still makes a whole show about whining how you’re in love with Levi Ackerman (lmao i still thirst over our favorite captain) instead of him

“y/n i’m taller than him! And more handsome! He has blood on him all the time! And he’s super annoying because he’s obsessed with cleaning.” *cue pouty Tooru*

You probably shouldn’t tell him that you are an avid follower of the levi x reader tag on tumblr

Tooru still somehow finds out you’re also reading reader insert fanfic and goes BERSERK with his pouting and whining - literally everyone and their mothers have heard his sob story about how “his darling y/n is leaving me for a short germaphobic asshole”

The rest of the team finds it hilarious - the end up pranking him by posting pictures of Levi in his school locker or texting them in the volleyball groupchat (Oikawa is Suffering™)

Makki and Mattsun get him a Levi keychain for his birthday and cackle when he chucks it violently into the nearest trash can

Miya Atsumu

Doesn’t really know you’re into anime/gaming at first

I don’t think that’s on purpose - Atsumu just has such a one track mind when it comes to volleyball and he’s always busy with practice

so he just kinda doesn’t really give all the anime merch in your room a second glance even though it’s a dead giveaway

I bet Atsumu secretly watches some superhero anime - probably shounen stuff like My Hero Academia, one punch man etc.

He probably starts to notice you’re into anime/games because you’ll play games on your phone/gaming device all the time

One day he notices you’re giggling + blushing while looking at your screen. He’s curious to he heads over to you when coach says they can have a break

Peeks over your shoulder because he wants to know what you’re playing - but instead he’s greeted by some 2D samurai guy called Harada Sanosuke asking you to marry him

“Huh, I didn’t know you were into this kinda stuff y/n” tries to sound playful but internally he is screaming / ?????? WOT I DIDN’T KNOW MY S/O WAS INTO OTOME GAMES

Atsumus pretty chill about it at first, he probably teases you a lot about playing the game but isn’t really bugged about it

“Maybe you should thirst over your boyfriend instead of a fictional character babe~”

I mean - he knows he’s attractive and why be jealous? You only really play the game when he’s busy and you don’t really let the game play seep into your dates/hangouts

But one time he walks in on you reading some ~spicy~ hakuouki x reader fanfic and he’s like are u serious

Like you were lowkey quiet screaming to yourself and muttering “omg omg omg” when he walked in and you definitely tried to close your laptop so he couldn’t see what was open in your browser

Too bad Atsumu has mad reflexes and manages to prevent you from making your computer go to sleep

Briefly skims whatever it was that you were reading and smirks at you

“Hey, if you really want something like this, why don’t you let your real boyfriend deliver” before kissing you

Matsukawa Issei

Look, Issei just wants a chill movie/tv show night where the two of you can bundle up on the couch and binge whatever anime you feel like

Has everything set up - this man is ready to go: snacks? he has all of your favorites, couch? filled with soft pillows + multiple pillows. Attire? Comfy sweatpants shirtless 🥵

Last time he chose the series for your binge sleepover so he let you choose what the two of you were gonna watch this time

Turns out you decided to watch Psycho-Pass - it seemed like a pretty cool show, he was down with the whole dystopia/psychological concept

Starts out pretty normal, is appreciating the action + mystery elements and is glad that you chose that show

About halfway through the anime you two decide to take a break - he goes to the kitchen to refill your snacks, leaving to stretch you back.

When he comes back with more food, he notices that you’re hunched over your phone, typing something

He sneaks up behind you after he puts the food down, “Whatcha reading there babe?” You squeak and try to hide your phone, but not before he sees the words kougami x reader typed into your tumblr search bar

Lit-rally exCuSE me what - he’s not mad (more amused than anything else) but he also kind wants to tease you (bc Mattsun is a little shit)

“Is that the reason you wanted to watch this show?” he asks playfully. “He’s pretty hot tho, I kinda agree with you there babe.”

Now that he’s released the floodgate, he can’t stop your occasional comments like “omg how does he look so GOOD when he’s punching someone” or “he could shoot me with his dominator and i’d still say thank you”

The thirst comments are kinda getting to him, so he decides to take things in a different direction

“Let me what I can show you with my dominator~” L M A O I’M SORRY THIS EXISTS

Suddenly you’re being pulled onto his lap, and pressed against his bare chest, Issei barely gives you time to adjust before he’s kissing you roughly, tongue plunging into your mouth

His hands wrap around your hips pressing your core closer to his own, and you can feel his hard-on pressing into your stomach

He’ll be sure to suck a dark hickey onto the side of your neck and his hands travel under your shirt, just to remind you who your real boyfriend is

Needless to say, you won’t remember a single thing about the second half of the show after the night is over couch sex? Couch sex 😏

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amispnrewatch · 3 years

Text

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

#SPN 1x06 #amispnrewatch #reclaiming spn #performing!dean #lawboy #bi!dean #dean x cassie #dean x lee #stiles stilinski #void!stiles #teen wolf #dean deserved better

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