#because usually the one who's left out is sadly pining for one of the characters in the relationship

[kuroosdarling]

LIKE A VIRGIN — ༉‧₊˚.

ft gojo satoru !

꒰ CONTENTS ꒱ : MDNI. f!reader. unprotected sex, fingering, lots of praise, creampie, aftercare — WC : 2.4k

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : after years of pining after each other, the moment has finally come. gojo was never one to be shy about having sex but it turns out being intimate was a whole different thing.

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : i promise that one day i’ll cut back on writing lovesick characters but sadly today is not that day hehe enjoy ! <3

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

loving satoru is holding the notion that while you may be star crossed lovers, the cosmos severely underestimated how much love he held for you.

instead of crossing paths, he collided into you, changing the scope of your world with a simple introduction that had the universe questioning why it even bothered to try to keep you two apart in the first place.

time has passed since then but that connection has always remained, the two of you circling around each other in a dance of fate. all it takes is for one of you to leap, and since gojo never did — it was up to you.

so you leapt.

and it was a wondrous blur, the planet aligning for this singular event that had all the stars on the edge of their seats. it all brought you to this moment, mouth crashing together in a hurried flurry, setting your body ablaze.

whispers of endearment flood out of your mouth and into his head, leaving it reeling in its wake. you could tell a part of him was still missing, lurking in the shadows, too scared to come out just yet.

it didn’t bother you at first, not when his lips never left yours — nibbling your bottom lip anytime you tried to break for air.

but the damned blindfold still hung around his face, covering the eyes you so desperately want to see. he didn’t actively have his infinity on but the distance between you could’ve fooled you.

annoyance started to flicker within you, twirling around with the unabridged want and causing the fire to spread. you finally pull away from his kiss, leaving you breathless.

but he kept on, kissing down your neck and not even sparing a glance at you. but who could tell with the dark blue fabric wrapped around his head. a part of you envied it for a second, craving that level of closeness it shares with its holder.

there was a moment of hesitance, one so short that if you weren’t so hyper focused on him, you would’ve missed it. at first, you shook it off, opting to help him out by unsnapping your bra and sliding it off.

the second the fabric hit the floor, gojo pounced, shoving his face between your tits before enveloping one of your nipples in his mouth. you mewl at the sensation which only has him sucking a little harder before he switches to the other side.

“gojo.” you coo, trying to pull him back up so you can properly look at him. but he kept kissing your chest, leaving little marks that you’ll carry with you for the days to come.

you watch as his hands tremble slightly, the way his breathing was uneven. all of it could’ve been chalked up to the heated moment, but something told you that wasn’t the case.

“gojo. why are you acting like this? you’re not a virgin, are you?” you tease him despite knowing he’s not. a foolish attempt to cover up the insecurity on why he felt the need to keep a barrier up with you.

the words didn’t come out as gracefully as you wanted but you’d figure he’d rip your clothes off by now, flip you over, and start fucking into you like he did with the other women he used to bring over. but he could barely look at you. and it annoyed you.

“no but-“ a pause. “you kind of make me feel like one, though.” he said honestly. there wasn’t his usual overly playful lilt in his voice. instead, it was coated with something a little more serious — more raw.

“what? how?” you try to pivot so you can look at him, but he keeps you in place.

“because it’s you. the other women i’ve slept with have never made it past that, it was always just sex. but you? it’s so different, so new.”

“gojo, i-“

“please, call me satoru.” he continues placing kisses along your neck, running his lips back and forth until he was sure he covered every inch with his affection. “i’ve wanted you for so long, since the day i met you.”

“satoru,” you start, but your breath hitches as his hand starts gliding down your body, hiking your skirt up as it trails back up.

“and you just had to wear this skirt tonight.” he almost groaned into your neck, his fingers trailing up your thigh. everything felt so suffocating, like if he didn’t kiss you right then and there, you’d never recover. “always drove me so crazy because all i wanted to do was flip it up and sink my dick into you.”

“well there’s nothing stopping you now.” you tease.

and that’s all it took to flip the switch.

finally, he was a man of action, pulling back and hastily removing his blindfold so he’d let you look into his beautiful eyes. the normally bright blue color was quickly descending into a dark abyss, his pupils looking wider than you’d ever seen them — almost a little crazed.

the moment your eyes met his, you felt all the walls crashing down into a pile of rubble at your feet. the explosion was instantaneous as the sparkled ones met yours, holding nothing but a swirl of love and lust. utter devotion that he was ready to pour into you.

“been waiting for this for too long.” the words rushed out of him in a slight whine as he leaned in, melding his lips against yours in a filthy kiss that had you instantly hooking your leg around his waist.

his hands pushed you further into the bed, before it trailed up your leg to keep it in place. his clothed cock started grinding up against your core and it was already all too consuming. his fingers trailed up your legs before dancing along your inner thigh. the movement tickling you but gojo isn’t letting up from the kiss.

he pulls back for a second, his slightly sweaty forehead leaning on yours as he looks down to where his hand grazes along your cunt. your hips buck up at the sensation. gojo’s glossy lips slightly part as he rips your panties down your legs.

before you can call out in protest, he’s sliding one lengthy, lithe finger in your already sopping pussy. his focus goes back to your face as you let out a mewl, already humping his hand for more.

“you want more?” he asks, whispering against your lips. he feels your breath swirl with his but he won’t connect with you — not until he has an answer. you can only nod, moving your hips faster. “how much can you take?”

“all of it-“ your mind is already fading fast, pleasure crawling up your body with each thrust gojo’s finger gives you.

he adds a second finger and it’s all it took to have you unravel around him, clawing at his hair — his back, your hands roaming all over him to find purchase as you squeeze around his digits. he watches in awe, mesmerized by how beautiful you are.

with a slight pop, his fingers slide out of you and directly into his mouth. he groans unashamedly at the taste, eyes fluttering shut as if it would help him savor it a little more.

you move to get up, to get closer to him but he lightly pushes you back on the bed, opting to grab your ankles and hike you closer to the edge.

“i hope you weren’t lying earlier when you said you could take it all.” he unzips his pants, pulling out his leaky cock, precum already drooling off the sides. he gives it a few pumps, showcasing how long he is, relishing in the small gulp you give out. “because you’re about to get it all.”

your fingers weave themselves into the sheets as if it will ground you from the way gojo was trying to split you in half with his cock. with a soft groan, he eases the tip in. slowly pushing in, inch by inch.

even though he’s taking it slow, his whole body is screaming at him to hurry up. hell, even your body was suggesting it as you greedily sucked him in.

but it was so much better this way. the way your moans and his groans meshed together in the air paired with your warm, tight walls pull him in, had him wanting to savor this moment for as long as he could.

besides, if he pushed in like he wanted to, he’d probably cum on the spot. and since you already made a teasing comment about him being a virgin earlier — he decided it was best to hold back right now.

but then he bottomed out and he’s never heard a sweeter cry fall from anyone’s lips. tearing his eyes away from where you two were now fully connected, he trailed back up to your blissed out face.

“satoru-“ you coo up at him, reaching your arms up to touch him. “move, please.”

once your arms entangle themselves around his neck, he pulls back out. another whine fell from your mouth and had him driving back into you, thrusting like his life depended on it.

after years of repressing his feelings, of acting like he didn’t care about you even though he was pretty sure you were the reason the earth spun — he finally got to be with you. finally felt like he was good enough to have you like this, let alone touch you.

and the way you sang for him had him chasing a high he doesn’t think he’ll ever reach with anyone else. you were it for him and this just further proved that point.

“yeah, fuck, just like that.” he grunts your name by your ear, slipping closer to your body as he desperately keeps pushing into you. he needed to hear you say it, needed that validation to keep him going. “you look so pretty when you take this dick. who’s — shit — who’s fucking you so good, huh?”

“you!” you cry out, digging your fingers in his back. “you are-“

“you're so good for me, feel s’good around me, fucking made for me.” he keeps babbling as his fingers quickly reach down to twirl around your neglected nub, causing you to cry out his name again. the sound was heavenly and he never thought he’d have a chance to hear an angel sing, but here he was — blessed as can be. “this pussy is so good, best i’ve ever had. want it to be all mine.”

“it is! it’s all yours, satoru!” you hiccup, his thrusts paired with the way he was playing with your clit was sending you into overdrive. he let out a moan as you clenched around him.

burying his face in your neck, he starts to leave little love bites, sucking and licking your neck to his hearts content. he felt the familiar white hot sensation rush shoot through his body, but he’d be damned if he came before you.

“gonna cum for me, baby? need to feel you cum on my cock.” he encouraged you. “need to see your pretty face as you do it, too.”

his pretty eyes were trained on your face, and it was all too much for you. he watched as your eyes roll to the back of your head, your lips calling out his name. the way your cunt squeezed his cock had him gasping out for air.

his hips stuttered as you kept pulsing around him, trying his best to fuck you through your orgasm before he inevitably finished. your legs locked behind him, pushing him in deeper — if that was even possible.

he moaned out your name as his thighs trembled, pushing his hips flush against yours as he felt himself pump all of his cum into you. after a few final, weak thrusts, he stills inside of you. he was absolutely spent but used the last bit of his energy to caress your face, tucking his finger under your chin and bringing you in for a sweet kiss.

“there’s no one quite like you, is there?” he whispered against your lips like it was a secret he was confirming with himself. “how’re you feeling?”

“i’m good.” you almost slur, blissed out from the pleasure that was still easing itself throughout your body. he pressed his lips on your forehead before sitting up a bit.

“i’ll be back in a minute, sweet thing.” he kisses your head again for good measure as he grabs a towel from the bathroom. his eyes trail over to the tub he had in there and an idea popped into his head. he’s never done this kind of thing before, but for you? he’d do anything.

starting up the bath, he adds different oils and soaps into it. lavender wafted through his nose and once he was satisfied with the water temperature, he came back for you.

“ready for your bath?” he murmurs, scooping you up in his arms.

“you drew a bath?” you question, shock evident in all of your features. he just laughs, bringing you into the bathroom. he eases you in before getting in behind you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

“only the best for my best girl, right?” he presses a kiss against your ear before nuzzling into your neck. you let out a content hum, leaning back into his arms.

there was a quiet beat, a moment where the two of you could just enjoy the closeness together as you came down from your highs. gojo cant tell if it’s his proximity to you or the soothing scent of lavender infiltrating his mind, but it has him wanting to say those three little words he’s never said to anyone — reserving it just for you in a moment like this.

“i love you.” the words tumble out of his mouth and into your ear. he can almost feel you shiver as you take in what he just said. he didn’t feel any fear, he knew you’d say it back.

and for something he ran from his whole life, it’s never felt easier. his world shifting on his axis as you return those three words to him, finally capturing his heart and never letting him go.

[hermanunworthy]

To Be or Not To Be?

"With heads showing Hermie's face, the thespian could pretend that those decisions were genuine, while the drama mask for tails could excuse their more obviously villainous behavior. Little did their new 'friends' know that they were both just acts. Thank the theatre gods for this perfect role."

Five times Two-Face is forced to follow his coin's decision, and one time Herman makes one of their own.

10.3k words, oakworthy, 5+1 things, hermie pov, pining, set during ep17-20

prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | +1

also on ao3!

3.

Everything is not alright. It's not that Herman isn't committed to the character, because he is Risky Click now, but spending this much time in a fast food job is enough to drive anyone up the wall.

He isn't sure how long it's been since The Main Characters left him to manage the restaurant by himself, but he's beginning to get far too restless. Something inside of him needs to break out, and he knows he has more options than just sadly waiting for people who aren't even real friends to him.

Normal's Uncle mentioned an exit from the building, not-so-subtly named the "Tunnels of Endless Despair, Hatred and Death". Definitely not the most pleasant-sounding escape plan, but definitely a more narratively interesting choice than spending the rest of this arc waiting for a scene that may not even happen.

Risky tries his best not to act suspicious as he makes his way to the main cafeteria. He shuffles through the crowd, casting smiles about at random soldiers passing through. He wishes Normal's Uncle specified where exactly the Tunnels connected to this room before he left with the others.

Eventually, he finds a gaping hole in the wall at the end of the cafeteria. This is definitely it. The darkness from within seems to stretch out in tendrils toward the light of the main room. Risky shivers a bit, but he can pass it off as one of his usual little mannerisms.

Before he can convince himself to take even one step inside, he realizes that he is at a crossroads. He has a choice to make here. And what better character to make hard decisions than Two-Face?

He discreetly retrieves his coin. Hermie can choose to wait for The Main Characters to come back and rescue them like the little damsel in distress they are, or Two-Face can forget about that foolish plan and escape in his own way, perhaps even starting his Scarecrow arc in the process.

He flips his coin. Heads.

Hermie looks back up at the terrifying black hole and, as weak as they are for it, feels relieved. Little Hermie just had to ruin this, just because they got a little scared. Hermie's pathetic feelings always ruin all the fun.

They retreat back to the kitchen in the hopes that The Main Characters follow through on their dubious promise, when the telephone abruptly starts to ring. Risky barely has any time to settle back into his character, his heart stuttering at the sound, knowing the possibly of a certain someone being on the other end.

He stands in front of the phone again, testing his voice before he picks up the call. "Red leather, yellow leather," he practices. "One-face, Two-Face." Nope, nope, that was the wrong character warm-up. And speaking of warming up, he can feel the left side of his face begin to burn and peel again, but he slaps his cheeks a bit to get it under control.

"Risky Click. Risssky Click." He enunciates each letter and massages his face back to almost-smooth-but-slightly-stubbly skin. The burns seem to be the hardest part of his costumes to touch up.

He picks up the phone with a creaking, unburned hand. "Papa Johns', where everybody— everybody's a son— son or daughter to the Pop— Papa." What the fuck? Why is he blowing his line delivery?

A familiar spoiled teen voice comes through the phone. "Hey Hermie, it's Taylor—"

The Nerd. The Nerd?! One of The Main Characters? Risky feels a wave of relief, or maybe it should be annoyace, he doesn't know how to feel, but then he remembers he has to remain in-character. "Papa John's, blessing his— peace be upon him. Papa John's, thank you for being our dad." He's shaking. Is he nervous? He's not nervous, he's an experienced employee and also a boomer who just loves to take phone calls. Is he excited? Yes, that's it, he's just so excited to receive a call from a dear Customer.

He can't wait to hear what The Nerd (The Customer) wants to say to him (to order). "Wait, I gotta— I gotta finish the whole thing before you can order. P-Papa John's, in— in his— in his eyes, we…" What's the line? "Rise. Like dough!" The Nerd has to remind him. Awful. Worst performance of his life. He wants to slap himself some more.

"Hey, this is Taylor. We'll just be out back in 20 minutes. Just meet us back there." 20 minutes? That soon? They're coming back?! Risky's heartrate is picking up as if he's just recieved an enormous order. He hopes his breathing can't be heard over the call.

"I don't know who that is," Yes he does, the little fucker used to work for him! "And if I did, I would have to tell him that there's no way to meet somebody out back without trying to get into the garage, which is currently being guarded by two calzone… soldiers." God, how do those idiots think they're going to make this plan work? This is a disaster.

The Nerd, as always, sounds completely unfazed. "Okay, just stay near that then, okay? Alright, bye."

Risky knows he doesn't have any more lines left in this scene but still attempts to stutter a response. It's too late, though, because The Nerd has already hung up.

The smile on his face is feeling less and less like a Risky Click smile. Something genuine is cracking through, breaking his character, and he knows with dread that it's Hermie.

Risky shakes himself, rattling some bones in the process. He can't afford to play as Hermie yet, especially when The Main Characters aren't even around.

It doesn't look suspicious if Risky hangs around near the back, right? He's in charge, kind of, so he can do what he wants.

Herman wishes they couldn't feel the creeping stage fright at the thought of seeing The Main Characters again. Finally, they will have the spotlight again. What will they say as Hermie? What will they all have to say to Hermie? A part of them foolishly hopes for apologies and "we missed you"s, though they know it is only a fantasy and never something they should expect.

After much longer than the promised 20 minutes, Risky is losing hope. He feels like if he stays for one more second in this godforsaken place, he might as well be serving his mind to The Doodler on a paper plate. The soldiers probably took The Main Characters out already. He wonders that if that's the case, would that cancel out his coin decision? Would he have to resort to escaping through the Tunnels? Somehow, that almost seems like that'd be easier than facing The Mascot Kid right now.

At his mind's mention of his mark, there's an instantaneous explosion on the outside of the room, and Normal Oak's head bursts through the door.

Herman's eyes immediately land on the space right above Normal's lip, just like last time this happened (they can't believe this is a reoccuring scene). The same gross little mustache greets them again.

"We gotta stop meeting like this," Herman quips, feeling the corners of their mouth curling up underneath their own mustache— Oh, shit, that's right, he's supposed to be Risky Click right now. He tries to focus on being in character, but it's difficult with how hard his heart is beating at the sight of Normal's face lighting up with pure relief and joy, just like he imagined in his daydreams while working around the restaurant.

"Hermie! Thank God! Let's go!" It's unbelievable how happy he appears to see Hermie again. As if Hermie is the most beloved character in this entire story. He's probably just concussed. He forces the door open, which he could've done in the first place without having to use his big, dumb, unprotected head.

As he escorts Risky out of the building, Risky feels like he's floating. He's losing his grasp on the character again. "You did come back for me. I'll be damned," he mumbles in shock, feeling far too comfortable with the raging fire around him. A recurring thing for him that he definitely can't afford to dwell on right now.

But this comfort is so unlike that which he felt when he spent his time surrounded by all those minor characters in the Papa John's. He thinks he'll miss it, being happy all the time and in control of everything and listened to by everyone... He casts one last longing glance over his shoulder at the bathroom. "You were my greatest role..."

He settles into the Catbus with the others and instantly changes his mind. It is remarkably comfortable in here, like being wrapped in a giant hug. He realizes with a faraway sadness that this has been an unfamiliar feeling to him.

He tries his best to focus on nothing but this comfort to dissociate from this scene where they are all currently engaged in combat. His brain fuzzes at the edges, shielding him from panic as he is violently jostled around like pizza dough. He's safe. He's gone.

"My man!" The Nerd's voice is loud in... Risky? Is that who he is?...'s ear as he slaps him? them? her? it? on the back.

With this call back to reality, Herman has to shake themself to gain their senses back. Their body is tingling and numb, reflecting their mental state the past... however long they were out. But there's thankfully no cracking as they do this.

Cool-downs. It's time for cool-downs. "Red leather, yellow leather. I have to do this to get out of character too." They test their tongue, their teeth, their lips, again, ridding themself of the cotton-in-the-mouth feeling, but reminding them of how much pain they've been from smiling so much.

Unfortunately for them, though, they have to keep up the smiling once again, because this is a Hermie scene now. "Hey, thanks for coming back for me. I was, uh..." They feel embarrassed having to show gratitude towards The Main Characters like this. They hate how genuinely relieved they feel. "I went and checked out the Tunnels of Sadness and Despair and, uh… if I had gone through there, I feel like I would've seen a lot of stuff that scared me a whole lot." A pitiful line to say, but fitting for Hermie.

They think back to their coin flip, and imagine what it would've been like if they were given tails after all. "My plan if I'd gone through there and met up with you later is that I would understand the true nature of fear. But as it stands, I'm just good old, normal, Two-Face-Joker-Hermie." They almost cringe at themself as they have the slightest moment of clarity, considering for a milisecond the insanity of their situation. Two-Face-Joker-Hermie. That was the direction they chose to go with in their plan. What the fuck even is their life anymore.

Normal sighs in relief and rests a hand on their shoulder. Somehow, it's even more startling than The Nerd's aggressive slap. "I'm glad it's just you in there, Hermie."

Herman is stunned into a silence they can tell is going to last for the rest of this scene. Their eyes dart in confusion between the hand on their shoulder and Normal's face. Just Hermie? Didn't he hear what they just said? They're still stacking all these different roles on top of Hermie, how can Normal be so... How does he think he cares about this Hermie character so damn much? Herman has been crafting the most insufferable monstrosity of a supporting-but-antagonist type character, and Normal insists on treating them like a true love interest among The Main Characters. They just don't get it.

Maybe they should still add The Scarecrow to their list of characters after all. Maybe then it wouldn't be this easy to attract Normal.

[obsessedwithallthingsbooks]

hear me out, the third wheeling scenes in words of radiance were absolute gold because, unlike most third wheeling scenes, they didn't happen because he was friends with/pining for one of them. Instead he just hated both of them until they annoyed him enough for him to fall in love with them, but not their relationship

[jillianallen14]

Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 

The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 

A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 

Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey Steph, really adore your blog. I saw your ask about s3 and s4 John and his anger. do you have any pics that deal with that? I think his anger is caused by his jealousy. he loves Sherlock and is deeply insecure about S's love for him. I'd love to find some fics that actually deal with all of that. thank you. x

Hey Nonny!!

I DO!!! Been waiting for another ask to finally get this list up and out! Hope you find something you enjoy on this one! <3

ANGRY / CRANKY JOHN

See also:

Jealous John b/c of Other People

Jealous John

Jealous John Pt. 2 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 2 

Jealous John Pt 3 and Jealous Sherlock Pt 3 

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 4 

Jealous John and Sherlock Pt. 5

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

And, Usually, He's the One Who GIVES Me a Headache by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,315 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, POV John, Cranky John, Headaches, Head Massage) – A migraine is never fun.

Hallucinations can't open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose.

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 (T, 1,921 w., 1 Ch. || THoB, Friendship, Humor, Bed Sharing, Missing Scenes, Cranky John, Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. Gen, but can be preslash.

Stay by sussexbound (M, 2,067 w., 1 Ch. || Post TAB, Suicidal Ideation Mention, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, Love Confessions, Frottage, Coming in Pants) –  “Why? Why did you do it? Hmm…?” He takes a deep breath, waits, lets it out again. “Look at me.” There’s no denying him when he takes this tone. “Why did you kill him? Hmm…? For her? After…” A muscle twitches in the corner of John’s eye, and he clamps his jaw down tightly, swallows and sniffs a little before continuing. “For her? After everything she’s done?” “For you.” Before he can even stop himself. Just like that.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John's bedroom is now a research library. It's not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They're friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it's not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It'll be fine.

Those Days by StillWaters1 (T, 2,663 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD / Sensory Attacks, Caring Sherlock) – If Sherlock had danger nights, then these were John's danger days.

Extraordinary by ardenteurophile (T, 2,739 w., 7 Ch. || Angst, Pining, Romance, Second Person POV Sherlock, Pre-Slash) – Sherlock tries to understand his preoccupation with one Doctor John Watson - the one case he can never solve.

BBCSH 'The Comfort of Company' by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It's a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2,799 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Grumpy John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pet Names, Texting, Sweet Sherlock, Princess Bride References) – John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can't find words big enough to thank her for saving John's life at the warehouse. For afters, there's a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of the Unkissed series

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

After the Bombs by VampirePam (T, 3,337 w., 2 Ch. || THoB AU, Drugs, John’s PTSD, Panic Attack, Nightmares, Caring Sherlock, Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort) – In which the drugs Sherlock used to dose John trigger a severe episode of PTSD. When terrors old and new cause John to fall apart, Sherlock must rectify his mistake and pick up the pieces.

Breakfast, acronyms and brotherhood by Rose de Sharon (K+, 4,074 w., 1 Ch. || TBB Fic, Friendship/Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Protective John, Fluff) – Set after The Blind Banker: my take of Sherlock and John's conversation over breakfast. S/J friendship, bromance, no slash.

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w., 1 Ch. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn't seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can't tell what's real and what's not. How will Sherlock react?

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

When Your Belly's in the Trench by Morgan_Stuart (T, 4,743 w., 1 Ch. || PTSD, Character Study, Rescue, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, Trauma, Danger, Drama, Kidnapping/Captivity) – The next time that door opens, John Watson will kill the person on the other side.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

This Year by DiscordantWords (T, 6,283 w., 2 Ch. || TEH Divergence / No Mary, New Year’s Eve, John’s A Mess, Jealous John, Awkward Conversations, Trapped in a Closet, Estranged After Return, John POV, Semi-Reunion, Angry John, First Kiss, Reconciliation, Clueless Sherlock, Happy Ending) – Last year, Sherlock Holmes showed up at the Landmark with a fake moustache and a bad French accent and threw John's entire life into disarray with two words: "Not dead." This year, there are more surprises in store.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w., 3 Ch. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – 'I should warn you,' Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.' And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5, 798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalize Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn't count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 28,347 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF / Pre-S3 Divergence, BAMF John, Anger, Fighting, Sex, Bed Sharing, Stalking, Case Fic, John’s Past, Introspection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crime, Mythology, Darkness) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. Sherlock finds that coming back is not enough to fix all of the damage that he caused by leaving. A post Reichenbach, post reunion re-discovery fic.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Inscrutable to the Last by DiscordantWords (M, 48,842 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Alternate S3, John’s Blog/S3 is a Story By John, Divorce, Marital Difficulties, John is a Mess, Emotional Reunion, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Grief / Mourning, Pining John, First Kiss, Adorably Clueless Sherlock, Nostalgia, Love Confessions, Eventual Happy Ending) – He wasn't Sherlock, he couldn't work miracles. All he'd ever been able to do was write about them.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

A Goose Quill Dipped in Venom by Polyphony (M, 52,748 w., 16 Ch. || Celebrity John AU || Alternate First Meeting, TV Host John, Supermodel Mary, Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Case Fic, First Kiss/Time, Meddling Mycroft, Drug Abuse, Doctor John, PDA, Deductions, POV Sherlock, Toplock, Sexual Tension, Angry/Rough Sex, Hopeful Ending, Asperger’s Sherlock) – Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, is called in to a very ordinary although brutal murder. Something is badly out of tune with the whole scenario and Sherlock finds himself becoming more and more obsessed with the crime - and also with the victim.

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets,  Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love,  Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock, John Separated From His Child) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton  (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[patchofsunlight]

Warmth | Zuko x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Avatar!Reader AU | Zuko has made many mistakes and holds uncountable regrets, but maybe Y/N can still love him back. Spoiler: she does.

REQUEST (by anon): “Could you do a zuko with maybe a f! avatar? Him falling in love with her like how they joked in ember island play. And him being tormented when she 'dies' in cross roads and them having some tender moment of confessing either in the western temple or ember island? maybe the play has the kiss and he confesses idk”

WORD COUNT: 5.3k

WARNINGS: Y/N is the Avatar, so Aang doesn’t exist. kissing, there might be swear words but I don’t really remember, bad editing. lots of mutual pining and some angst. I don’t know if I did this request justice but I really tried?

OBSERVATIONS: there’s a bit of Sokka x Reader bc I’m a weak woman but in the end he’s the main Zuko and Y/N shipper. not having Aang seriously hurt me. I wrote most of the Zuko sad rant in the beginning listening to Words Fail by Ben Platt and I think it would be interesting if you guys listened to that while reading? idk

I hope you all like it!!! feedback is always appreciated, so keep that in mind and thank you very much for reading!!

There was a hole inside his chest that Zuko simply couldn’t get rid of. It hurt him to his core, bringing pained sobs to the edge of his throat and slowly dismantling his soul.

He always thought getting rid of Y/N would quench his anger, rebuild his honor and complete his destiny. Now, his father accepted him again, Mai was his girlfriend, and Azula treated him like a true brother, in her own deranged ways. The Fire Nation considered him a hero, the man who killed the Avatar.

Then why did it trouble him so much? Why did he wake up every night in a cold sweat, with tears stinging his eyes? Why did he have the same nightmare over and over where he was the one responsible for her death, hitting her with lightning and watching as the light inside her disappeared, leaving behind only her idle body and Katara’s desperate cries? Why couldn’t he be satisfied? He had fulfilled his fate. He had done what he was meant to do, sided with his people, and fought against his greatest enemy. Why wasn’t he happy? Why couldn’t he ever be happy?

Back in Ba Sing Se, he saw her at the Jasmine Dragon more than once. He couldn’t believe his eyes when she first entered the teashop, and he was pretty sure she had recognized him, but Y/N managed to send a polite smile in his direction and sit down, greeting “Mushi” with joy. When Zuko served her tea, she asked him what his name was as if she didn’t know. She didn’t confront nor attack him — she simply let him live his new life and went on living hers. It felt like she had washed off his sins, erased the bloodstains he carried in his soul and hands. Y/N freed him of his past and he had thrown it all away.

It was the right thing to do, he had told himself day after day after day. Except it wasn’t, and now Iroh refused to talk to him and the Avatar was probably dead and, in the case she wasn’t, she would never forgive him. She wouldn’t let him be free of himself again and he would never get redemption for his mistakes.

He wished he could go back in time and fight alongside Y/N in that crystal cave, wished he could live up to the trust Katara offered him before they were saved, wished he could have stopped Azula from throwing that lightning bolt. He wished he could do things in the right way, yet he couldn’t. Zuko tried so hard to regain his so-called honor and to bring his father pride but his only real achievement was engulfing himself in guilt and regret, being aware that powerful and forgiving Y/N could be dead because of his lack of dignity and character — this couldn’t be honor. Violence, betrayal, death, and hurt couldn’t be honor, and he wasn’t sure he wanted his father’s pride if it meant feeling like this, like he was no good, like he was not worthy of love or praise or admiration.

Zuko had spent a great part of his life hating himself, but nothing compared to the hate he felt every night after waking up from another crushing nightmare. How dared he make this about himself and his feelings of guilt when the Avatar could be dead? How dared he worry about the Fire Lord’s pride when the world’s last hope was gone? How dared he indulge in self-pity after all he had done? He didn’t deserve pity, didn’t deserve help, he only deserved to wallow in his own pain and die. But that wouldn’t fix anything, neither would it bring Y/N back — he had to act, and he had to do it fast.

Going after Team Avatar was not difficult. He thought he would feel complicated like he had when first betraying Y/N’s trust, thought it would hurt like coming back to the Fire Nation did. Thankfully, leaving only caused a new type of satisfaction to bloom inside his chest, giving him the sensation he was finally walking through the right path. Hope seemed to pour out of every pore in his body and he could somehow think of better, future days when he would have done enough to make up for his mistakes, days when he didn’t feel the urge to scream every time he looked at a mirror. Maybe then he wouldn’t have to despise himself like he currently did, maybe things would be okay and he would be truly happy, if that was even something he had the capability to do.

But then they didn’t want him. He left everything behind, he charged every inch of his hope with the idea of joining the Avatar, and they didn’t want him. Why would they? Why would they, after everything he had done? How could he have even considered they would accept him, that she would trust him again? Of course they didn’t want him. No one did and no one ever would and that was entirely his fault — it was his fault that he was a bad person, took the wrong decisions, and caused pain and destruction. It was his fault he never did the right thing and he should’ve known he would be rejected again, for being rejected was just what he deserved.

But it still hurt. Oh, Spirits, it hurt. She couldn’t even look at him, even after he helped them defeat Combustion Man and was finally accepted in the group. Sadly, it made Zuko realize that, no matter where he stood, he would never be a part of their team, and Y/N would never trust him entirely. For some reason, that was more upsetting than their rejection. He wanted to impress her, wanted her to like him, and she never would.

“Y/N? Can I—can I come in?”

The Avatar looked up from the map she was currently analysing on her bed, studying his figure carefully before nodding with hesitance, “yes. Do you need something?”

He sighed deeply and walked towards her, feeling his heart crack when she brought her legs closer to her body and away from him the moment he sat on the edge of the bed, “I—I just wanted to talk to you about, well, you know, everything.”

Her expression hardened and she averted her eyes back to the map, “we have nothing to talk about, Zuko. You can go back to your room.”

The Fire Nation Prince swallowed nervously, “Y/N, please. I’m so, so sorry. I have made so many mistakes, I—”

“Zuko,” her voice was firm and emotionless, but that quickly changed when she met his gaze, “I thought things could be different. I thought things could be different back in the North Pole, when we first talked to each other and you told me about Azula. I thought things could be different when you saved me as the Blue Spirit. And I was so convinced things would be different when we met again in Ba Sing Se that I—” she scoffed at her own words, “I had a crush on you, can you believe that? That’s why I visited the teashop so regularly, I just wanted to see you. Stupid, of course. I should’ve known.”

Zuko was sure she could hear his anxious heart beating from the other side of the bed. They were less than a foot away, and yet it felt like miles. He didn’t want her to think about him like that, he didn’t want her to be disappointed in him. Damn, she used to have a crush on him, she liked him, and he screwed everything up like usual. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m—I’m here now, I’m on your side.”

“Yeah, but I thought you were on my side back then too. Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. You need to teach me firebending and that’s the only reason you’re allowed here. Talking is unnecessary.”

“Please, I—”

“You should leave, Prince Zuko,” he flinched at the title escaping her lips, hating how it sounded bitter coming from her, “I have really important matters to deal with. We’ll start my firebending training tomorrow.” 

“Y/N—”

“Leave, Zuko.”

With a heaviness inside his stomach, he left the room, missing if by a second the frustrated tear that ran down Y/N’s cheek. She wanted to trust him, but how could she? How could she let him in after his betrayal? She had always been forgiving, but she refused to be naive — seeing Zuko side with Azula in the crystal caves hurt her deeply and shoved her little crush on him down her throat. She couldn’t go through that again, it would be simply idiotic to. Y/N had to stand her ground. She wouldn’t be hurt by him again.

-----

“Hey, jerks. Mind if I watch you two jerks do your jerkbending?”

“Get out of—” Zuko was interrupted by the Avatar’s laughter. Sokka smiled softly at her, cheeks blushing. For some reason, that only managed to piss Zuko off even more, “get out of here!”

“Okay, take it easy. I was just kidding around,” the Water Tribe boy winked at Y/N, “see you later?”

“Sure, we still need to see that part of the temple we found yesterday. Exploration partners!”

“Exploration partners!” he agreed with a chuckle and turned away from them. “Bye, Y/N. Jerkbending… Still got it.”

Zuko glanced at her with irritation while she watched Sokka leave. He felt already incredibly frustrated for not being able to produce his fire and not knowing why, he definitely did not need to watch as Sokka and Y/N flirted. 

They would make a cute couple, though, and she smiled so brightly at him it was physically painful to watch. He wanted her to smile like that at him, look like that at him. But she wouldn’t — she was over her crush and had no reason to ever feel anything towards him again, not after what he had done. He didn’t deserve her love anyway, so maybe it was for the best.

“So? Any progress, Sifu Hotman?”

“I told you not to call me that,” he snarled angrily and she sighed.

“Sorry, Sifu Hotman.”

“This was a mistake,” he sat down roughly, ignoring the ache on his legs due to the sudden movement, “maybe teaching you firebending is not my destiny.”

She looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, not understanding, “what do you mean?”

“How can I teach you anything when I’ve lost my fire, Y/N?” he chuckled sadly, letting one of his hands go through his hair in distress. “I wanted to be on the good side of the war and I can’t even make myself useful.”

“You haven’t lost your fire, Zuko,” her voice was careful, “I think you’re just going through some internal conflict and that’s reflecting on your bending, but if you were meant to teach me firebending, you will. Your destiny is still your destiny regardless, Sifu Hotman.”

“It’s easy for you to say, you’re the Avatar! I’m not even sure who I am anymore, but you have always known what your destiny was.”

“Yeah, and I was scared of it,” she smiled softly, “I ran away and disappeared for a hundred years. People died because of my absence. I have made mistakes, and I have failed many, many times. Sadly, that doesn’t make me less of an Avatar. Zuko, if you must be my teacher, it’s gonna work. We’ll figure things out and you will get your fire back. Okay?”

He stared inside her eyes. There was still some sort of mistrust in them — she was willing to help him because she needed him, but still suspicious. She wasn’t really sure he was on their side, but this was a start. He was going to fix everything and he would make her proud. He would make Y/N happy to call him a friend. Or something more.

Maybe he had a crush on her, too.

-----

Toph’s idea to look for the original source of firebending had greatly backfired (no pun intended, even though Y/N could clearly hear Sokka’s laughter in her head at the joke). They traveled to the Sun Warriors’ ancient city and found an impressive temple adorned with statues. Things were going surprisingly well until they weren’t, and now they were stuck in a disgusting glue because Zuko touched the pretty gemstone. Hours had passed and Y/N was increasingly more annoyed at their situation.

“You had to pick up the glowing egg, didn’t you?”

“At least I made something happen! If it were up to you, we’d never have made it past the courtyard.”

“Maybe, but we wouldn’t be stuck here either, so did you really win?”

Zuko rolled his eyes, “this is stupid. How are we getting out of here?”

“Help!” the girl screamed as loudly as she could, being met with only silence.

“Who are you yelling to? Nobody’s lived here for centuries,” the Fire Prince argued and it was Y/N’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Well, what do you think we should do, genius?”

“Think about our place in the universe?”

Despite her current irritation, Y/N couldn’t help but smile at his words. He instinctively smiled back and she felt warmth spread through her chest.

She was starting to think she wasn’t as over her crush on him as she thought.

They were rescued by the Sun Warriors and judged by the last dragons, and Y/N was sure she hadn’t felt this alive in a while. After burning Katara (it was so long ago it seemed like a different life), she had thought of fire as something destructive, harmful, but she could now see it with new eyes. Fire could be love, life, and power. 

The Avatar glanced at Zuko. Maybe she could try and see him as that, too. 

-----

“You did well today,” Zuko complimented warily, avoiding her gaze, “if we keep up the training, you might become a better firebender than me.”

“Why, thank you, Hotman,” she smiled brightly and Zuko was sure he could pass out right there, “I just have a great teacher.”

“Y/N!”

The Avatar felt Sokka before she saw him, laughing at the way he hugged her from behind joyfully, leaning his chin on her shoulder. “Hey, honey. What’s up?”

“Doing fine,” he mumbled, brushing her hair off his face delicately, “wanna grab something to eat?”

“I think I’m gonna train some more and clean myself later. I’ll meet you after?”

“Sure! I’ll be back inside. See you, Y/N, Zuko.”

They both watched as the Water Tribe boy entered the temple again. There was a weird burning sensation running through Zuko’s blood when he asked, voice slightly raspy and overly quiet, “so, you and Sokka, huh? You make a nice couple.”

She turned her head to him so quickly it almost gave her whiplash, “what? No! I mean—” she blushed at the question, flustered by the fact he would even consider something like that. The Fire Prince waited silently, irritation surfacing at her stammering. He wasn’t sure why that angered him so much, but he decided to be still and listen, “we are just friends,” she concluded, “he means a lot to me, but so do Katara and Toph, you know? We are—we are just friends. He even likes that Kyoshi Warrior, Suki! So, yeah, we are definitely not a couple.”

“I see,” Zuko felt curiously static with that piece of information, “and you don’t have feelings for him?”

“No, of course not. I mean, I had a thing for him when we first met, but now it’s gone. He’s my best friend and I love him, just not like that.”

“Okay. Good.”

“Good?” Y/N turned her head to the side in confusion and he paled considerably, finally noticing the meaning of his own words. “Why is that good?”

“Oh? I—it’s good that you love him! Yeah, having friends is amazing, right? Yeah.”

She smiled amusingly, “it truly is.”

“Yeah.”

The Avatar chuckled lightly, “come on, Sifu Hotman. Let’s do that leg movement again, I think I’m not doing it right.”

Days passed and a lot of things happened. Zuko knew Y/N wouldn’t be happy with Sokka’s suicide mission, but he couldn’t let him do it alone, so he accompanied him to the Boiling Rock. Again, she wasn’t happy when he followed Katara for revenge for her mother’s death, but then at least someone had Katara’s back and was ready to protect her. He desperately wanted to earn Y/N’s trust and friendship, but that was rather difficult when he insisted on doing the stuff she didn’t want him to do.

They continued their training on Ember Island and the whole Team seemed to thoroughly enjoy the place. Y/N was giving her all to learn firebending and was succeeding splendidly. To be honest, Zuko loved to see her get the moves right — every single time she made it, she would look at him with bright eyes and grin. It was the most beautiful sight Zuko had ever seen and he would do anything to have it permanently engraved in his mind.

They stayed up late during one particular night. They were both exhausted after hours of training and ended up sat beside each other on the ground on the back of the Fire Nation Royal Family’s beach house. The air between them was filled with silence and heavy breathing from their previous effort.

“Hey, Zuko?” after a few moments, Y/N called him gently, voice tired and raspy giving him chills. She laid down and stared at the dark sky. “Look at the stars with me.”

He blinked, “really? I mean, shouldn’t we go inside?”

“Please?” her eyes met his and his heart skipped a beat. “Just for a bit.”

“Okay,” Zuko whispered, lying down next to her. They looked at the sky quietly for a bit.

He liked to be around her. It could be the Avatar thing, but Y/N had a calming aura around her that was just unmissable. Being next to her like this gave him the feeling things would be alright, the feeling he was not worthless. It was a lie, of course. There was no way to know how their plans would go, and he was pretty much worthless.

But being beside her was enough to trick his mind. Maybe the little crush he harbored towards her had become something more — Spirits, he liked her so much. Not that it mattered, considering there was no way she would ever love him back, not after everything he had done.

“When I was younger, I believed we became stars when we died.”

He turned his head to look at her, “really?”

She turned to look back and his breath hitched at their close proximity. She chuckled, “yeah. I didn’t even know I was the Avatar back then, I was so young. They told me when I was sixteen, and I ran away shortly after,” there was bitterness to her words, “like a coward.”

“You are not a coward, Y/N. You had no way of knowing how things would go.”

“You really think so?”

“I do. Besides, if you hadn’t run away, you wouldn’t have been stuck on ice for a hundred years, and I would never have met you, which would be awful,” he widened his eyes, completing quickly, “and Sokka, Katara, and Toph, too. I wouldn’t have met them either. Of course.”

Her smile was so pretty he forgot how to breathe, “you’re right, Zuko. I don’t think I would have liked to live a life where I never met you,” she smirked before going on with teasing eyes, “and Sokka, Katara, and Toph, too. Of course.”

“Of course,” he agreed with a blush on his face. They stared at each other carefully and Zuko was pretty sure his heart was performing a professional routine of somersaults inside his body. He definitely was past just a simple crush.

Y/N smiled that dazzling smile of hers before averting her gaze to the stars again and yawning. “We should go in.”

“We should,” the Fire Prince immediately started to sit up, but she held him down with a hand to his chest, and probably felt his crazy heartbeat under her fingers.

“Just a bit more, Prince Zuko,” she whispered, eyes trained to the sky. Slowly but surely, she moved her hand from his chest to his own hand, creating goosebumps on every inch of skin she lightly touched on the way there. Zuko could feel his body burn at the barely-there feeling of her fingertips. She intertwined her fingers with his carefully, giving him the chance to pull away if he so wished. He let out a shaky breath and squeezed her hand. She immediately squeezed his back in reassurance.

In the middle of the quiet and comfort they suddenly found in each other, they fell asleep under the stars, fingers playing with each other until exhaustion finally engulfed them in dreams of pretty smiles and light touches.

It was nice to dodge the nightmares.

-----

“I’ve heard you and Zuko slept outside today,” Sokka had a teasing tone to his voice. Y/N glared at him, “you are together now or something?”

“We are not,” she countered, scratching Appa while they talked. Zuko, Toph, Katara, and Suki had left for the beach already. Y/N still needed to feed her sky bison and Sokka offered to help with the excuse of being a good friend. The Avatar was absolutely sure that wasn’t the real reason he stayed back alongside her and he was currently proving her right, “we were just stargazing and then fell asleep.”

“Stargazing, huh? Real cute. I bet it was an endearing impromptu date, wasn’t it?”

“Since when do you even know the word impromptu?”

“I am always full of surprises.”

“Right,” she rolled her eyes and he laughed loudly, “it was not a date.”

“But you do like him, right?.”

“What?” she turned her entire body to him, furrowing her brows and crossing her arms in a defensive stance. “Why would you say that?”

“Because I know you better than you know yourself and I can tell you have feelings for him,” Sokka copied her movements, staring at her with a smirk, “I also know he likes you back.”

Y/N scoffed and transferred her attention back to Appa, “he does not.”

“So you admit you like him!”

“Shut up, Sokka!” she glared, but quickly gave up under his intense eyes and raised brows. “Yeah, I like him. It doesn’t matter, though.”

“Yes, it does! He feels the same! Look, what about this,” he leaned in closer, that crazy look he had whenever making up a plan taking over his face, “we are going to watch that play about us tonight, right? Well, you guys can sit next to each other! Like a couple!”

“That’s a terrible idea, honey.”

“It’s not! I bet he’s gonna make a move!”

“He won’t, because he’s not in love with me.”

“Wait, you’re in love with him?”

Y/N’s entire body tensed up. She shouldn’t have said that. She wasn’t in love with Zuko! Was she? I mean, she did love to be beside him, and her heart sped up when he gave her one of his rare smiles, and training with him when he had his shirt off was distracting to say the least. Besides, he really seemed to have changed and grown — she felt like she could trust him again, but she could never be sure, and she was adamant on not getting hurt once more. Especially now, when she was dealing with so many things. If he betrayed her a second time… Spirits, it would be just too much to handle.

“I don’t know,” she muttered and Sokka’s cheeky smile faltered, “I don’t want to be.”

He stretched an arm out to hold her hand fondly, “it’s fine, Y/N. Whatever happens, I’m here for you, okay?”

The Avatar smiled sadly, “thank you, Sokka. I’m really glad to have you in my life.”

“I know, honey. I’m great like that.”

She laughed loudly and he grinned in satisfaction, turning her body around and starting to lead her towards the beach, an arm through her shoulders holding her close to his body.

“Shut up, Sokka. You’re so stupid.”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”

Zuko felt a pang to his chest when Sokka and Y/N arrived at the beach holding each other so dearly, but he knew he had no right to complain. She would be better off with Sokka anyway — he was good-looking, nice, funny, smart. Meanwhile, Zuko was nothing but a sad mixture of mistakes and regrets. The Avatar deserved more than that.

“Hey, Hotman,” she walked to him with a smile, planting a kiss on Sokka’s cheek before leaving his side. “Why are you all alone on the sand?”

“Because he’s boring,” Toph answered from some feet away and Katara chuckled. Zuko could feel his face redden.

“He is not,” Y/N argued amusingly, sitting down beside him and grinning. She glanced at him with a happy spark in her eyes, “are you excited for the play tonight?”

“No,” he muttered, but his lack of vivacity didn’t bother her in the slightest, “the Ember Island plays are always ridiculous.”

“I think it’s going to be fun,” she shrugged contently, basking in the hot sun, “if it isn’t, we can always throw food at the stage or whatever.”

He tried really hard, but couldn’t bit back the smile that took over his frown. He watched her attentively, noticing how she seemed to glow in the daylight, giving off this incredible warmth he had only ever seen on her. He averted away his gaze, feeling his neck and face heat up at how unapologetically beautiful she was.

Zuko cleared his throat quietly, “yeah, I guess.”

She only smirked in response.

-----

The play could be worse, he figured. Yes, their portrayal of him was horrible (even though his friends — could he call them friends? Were they friends? He hoped they were — said otherwise) and the actress playing Y/N was not nearly as pretty as the Avatar really was, but Y/N was next to him and, at some point, she had leaned her head on his shoulder tiredly and stayed there. All the training was getting to her and he felt inexplicable joy in the fact she trusted him enough to rest her body on his.

“Look,” her voice was raspy from sleepiness and a chill ran down his spine, “I think now is when you join Team Avatar and becomes our friend.”

He nodded carefully not to disturb her from her position and his heart skipped a beat when she nuzzled closer to his neck. Zuko watched as actor Zuko was accepted into the group and just after a scene with only him and actress Y/N started. Actor Zuko stared at the actress longingly, “my dear Y/N… I know I have wronged you in many ways, but I wanted to apologize for my mistakes and beg for your forgiveness!”

Y/N giggled at that, nudging him affectionately, “that really happened.”

He smiled, eyes following the performers on stage. Actor Zuko continued, “your forgiveness… And maybe your love, Avatar.”

They both immediately tensed up at the words and Y/N moved her head slightly, brows furrowing in confusion.

“My love, Prince Zuko?”

“Yes, my darling.”

They all watched as Actor Zuko and Actress Y/N kissed passionately, earning cheers from the audience. Sokka whistled loudly and Y/N turned to glare at him, receiving a wink in return.

“I have been in love with you since we first met!” Actor Zuko declared excitedly, holding Actress Y/N’s hands. “You are the only one who can make me forget about my teen angst. I love you, Y/N.”

“Well… I don’t!” Actress Y/N moved away swiftly and the crowd gasped in surprise. “I have accepted you in my group, Prince Zuko… But I’ll never accept you in my heart! You’re a bad person that doesn’t deserve my love!”

“What?!” Sokka almost screamed in disbelief. Y/N finally took her head off Zuko’s shoulder, incertitude swimming in her eyes. Before she had the chance to speak, Zuko had already left. The Water Tribe boy widened his eyes at her. “Go after him!”

Y/N nodded her head, getting out of her seat and walking after Zuko, calling his name. He ignored her, feeling anger boil inside him. He knew she would never directly say something like that, but he also knew it was true. She would never love him — he wasn’t worthy of her love, and he was pretty sure she was aware of that too.

“Zuko, wait!” she finally catched up to him, holding his arm and pulling him back. “It’s just a stupid play, Zuko. None of that is true.”

“Really, Y/N?” he turned to stare at her, rage covering his expression. “Because I’m almost certain it is. They said I don’t deserve love, Y/N, and that’s true. After everything I’ve done…”

“No!” she exclaimed desperately, shaking her head vehemently in disagreement. “Zuko, of course you deserve love. Yes, you have made mistakes, but all of us have. You shouldn’t care about what some actress says.”

“But they’re right, Y/N,” he insisted, feeling tears stinging his eyes, “I’m unworthy of love and everyone knows, and that’s why nobody actually loves me.”

“I love you!” she yelled out before she could stop herself, breath hitching at the troubled look taking over his face. Y/N sighed deeply, crossing her arms shyly and looking away, “I do,” her voice was small as she blushed, “I thought I was over my little crush for you but I wasn’t, and it’s—it’s much more than a little crush. I was afraid of admitting it but I know who you are, Zuko. You are loyal and smart and so inherently good and I love you. Spirits, I really do.”

  He stared at her for a second, processing her words. She fidgeted anxiously and he smiled at all her small manners. With certainty to his movements, Zuko took a step forwards and cradled her face in his hands. He studied every inch of her expression, waiting for some kind of rejection. She offered him a hopeful smile and he was quick to smash his lips with hers, feeling the warmth that always surrounded her consume him entirely. He kissed her passionately, happiness pouring out of him — the words “she loves you” echoing inside his mind like a broken record, filling his heart with joy.

She moved away when there was no more air in her lungs, breathing heavily and grinning like a mad woman. Y/N lifted her arm and touched his scar so fondly it physically hurt. Never before had he been touched with such care and it made tears flood his eyes, something she instantly noticed, giggling at his cuteness and drying one running tear with her thumb. She felt like her chest was full. He kissed her thumb lovingly when it rested near his mouth. 

She loved him. She thought he was worthy of love, of her love, even after everything he had done. No matter how many mistakes he had made, she still loved him, and that thought was enough to make Zuko feel some sort of hope towards the future.

Spirits, she really loved him.

“I love you too, Y/N. Very, very much.”

is it good? not really. could it be worse? yeah lmao

taglist: @bottledcostcowater @lammello @coldlilheart @azucanela @samsmultifandomblogs and @knaite-solo that asked to be tagged on this particular piece

thank you all for reading!! I hope you liked it!!

[angeli-marco-writes]

Albus and Scorpius - Before You Go

A/N - 1.2k words of writing about characters who absolutely belong together. I do not own the wizarding world nor these characters, this is a work of fiction. I do not own the song lyrics used. Scorbus is bloody adorable and should be real, cowards.

Warnings - pure fluffy angst, mutual pining, suggestive references, mild cursing.

Summary - At the 5th year prom, Albus and Scorpius find they can’t hold back their feelings anymore. Just one dance, before you go.

IT WAS PROM FOR THE FIFTH YEARS, a recently established event within Hogwarts, but everyone seemed to be loving it. 

The hall was decked with streamers from the floor to the enchanted starry ceiling, but it was done out in the most classy way possible. Silver-clad round tables lay around the exterior, leaving the centre of the hall free to be a beautiful dance floor. Couples dressed in gowns and suits danced around, laughing and smiling, the way it was meant to be.

Headmistress McGonagall was seated in the centre of the staff table in its usual place, and she couldn't keep the smile from sneaking across her stern face upon the happiness that all her students had. All her students except for two.

Albus and Scorpius were sitting on the side lines, an abnormal distance from each other at the furthest table from the action. It wasn't that they didn't like the prom - they loved all the lanterns and the balloons, adding a perfect ambience to the hall, rejuvenating the old stone with a more modern appeal. It admittedly looked wonderful, and enticing, especially for Scorpius.

"Come on Al," he pleaded, reaching his arm as far across the table as he could to get to his best friend, "Just come with me to the photo booth."

The pair's eyes trailed to where Professor Longbottom was, manning an elegant silver archway with a camera in front of it. He smiled at the young wizards, who half smiled back, immediately turning to their table once more, for another round of silence.

"It's late, I'm tired." Albus announced at only nine thirty, hastily standing up to leave. He pulled his blazer tighter around his thin body, his tell for anxiety.

"Wait-" Scorpius then said, leaping up to catch Albus' arm, pulling the brunette flush against his chest. Scorpius was taller, but only by a smidge.

"Before you go, can we dance? You know I came out to dad. You need to come out too Albus."

Albus was stunned by this, incredibly taken aback. "I-I'm not gay, Scorp." He stammered, averting his eyes to the streamers coming from the rafters, glistening in the starlight.

Scorpius had to stifle a giggle. "Tell that to the boner you got when we went swimming in our boxers last month."

Albus proceeded to flush a magnificent shade of crimson, enough to make Scorpius feel dreadful and release his hold on the boy he loved.

"If you want to go, then do. But tell me what to do to make it all feel better, because it hurts that you're leaving me."

The music in the background was exactly that, white noise, so insignificant to them in their own little bubble.

"There's nothing you can do Scorp." Albus said sadly, wiping a tear from his sullen face. "Dad won't accept me, especially not when I tell him that I like a Malfoy."

Scorpius' world spun around him. He was stunned, in utter disbelief. He had, of course, always had an inkling - but never in his life did he think that his Albus, the boy he'd been in love with for two, nearly three years, would like him back. There wasn't even that possibility in his mind, all hope of love died with his mum. When his bearings returned, he could see Albus shaking, silent tears cascading down his cheeks. Professor Longbottom had left the photo booth and was edging his way towards them, hoping to comfort his godson, but Scorpius got there first, shooting his favourite professor a shy smile of reassurance.

"Albus, one dance. I'll explain everything." 

Albus only agreed to Scorpius' puppy eyes, something that he could never refuse; so Scorpius slipped his slender hand into Albus' smaller one, and led them onto the edge of the dance floor.

The song that began playing couldn't have been a better one for them, 'Before You Go' by Lewis Capaldi, and Scorpius couldn't help but to note the ghost of a proud smile playing on McGonagall's lips. This was the night.

"I hate you, but I was just kidding myself..." Scorpius chimed in with the song melodically, mesmerising Albus with how soft his voice could be in moments of vulnerability.

"Time can heal but this won't." Albus added, turning in his best friends arms, all the tests gone from his face and replaced with a sad kind of smile.

'So, before you go Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather'

"I don't want you to leave for this summer being upset or anxious, I'll do anything to help you, I know your storms are plentiful Al."

"Was never the right time, whenever you called. Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all." Hummed Scorpius, getting lost in the molten welcome of Albus' eyes, the only eyes he'd ever before gotten lost in.

"It was never the right time to tell you how I felt, Albus. That's why I came out to my dad, he gave me advice. And when better to admit that I love you, than dancing to our favourite song?"

Albus could feel his hands grow clammy, and his legs began to quiver. His eyes filled with salty tears, but this time they weren't from insecurity of sadness, they were tears of happiness. 

'So, before you go was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless.' Those were the most meaningful lyrics to the boys. They had their struggles in heaps, and it was only the other who was there for support throughout their darkest times. 

"Would we be better off by now, if I'd have let my walls come down?" Albus sang, a soft and watery chuckle leaving his lips mere moments after. His forehead fell against Scorpius' in a feat of affection which was readily returned.

"Maybe I guess we'll never know..." Scorpius finished breathlessly.

The pair's movements had stopped, their feet were slotted together with Scorpius' arms around Albus' waist, and Albus' around Scorpius' neck in the traditional slow dancing manner. The tempo of the music slowed, turning it more acoustic for the moment of solitude. It was only them - Scorpius and Albus - only them against the world as their lips edged closer and closer together. Just as the tempo picked up, they kissed. It wasn't hungry, though it was urgent. All the pent up love that they'd harboured for years was finally being allowed out in one electric exchange. The hunger soon subsided, and the kiss turned into one of love, a slow show of affection. Albus' tongue lined Scorpius' bottom lip, requesting an entrance that was all too happily granted, but the slow movement of their mouths in the most adoring fashion possible, soon turned too passionate and became a desperate gasp for breath, a dancing display of teeth and tongues. They slowly separated, noses and foreheads still touching, their faces being shadowed upon one another. They savoured the taste, both tasted of butterbeer, their favourite drink in the world that they'd been sharing since second year.

"So..." Scorpius said awkwardly, dropping his one hand and raising it to absently scratch the back of his neck.

"So, we kissed." Albus replied in his normal, anxiously chipper demeanour, making Scorpius' heart glow. He smirked a little, an idea playing in his mind and confusing Albus, whose dark hair was now awry.

"Before you go, one more kiss?"

[rowyn-writes]

Cinnamon and Sugar

Chapter One

Warnings: Small mentions of depression, language, mentions of sex.

Characters: Jo Harvelle, Dean Winchester, Chuck, Jack Kline

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 2k

You groaned as you flailed your hand around, trying to silence your annoying ass alarm clock. It was 4:30 in the morning, and to say you weren’t a morning person was an understatement.

You didn’t understand why you had to get up so early in the morning when the shop didn’t open until seven, but that was Chuck for you, always trying to ruin your peace. You didn’t mind your boss; when he stayed out of the way, that is.

You quickly got dressed, fed and watered you cat, giving him some belly rubs, before heading out the door. You didn’t live that far away from the shop, only a five minute drive, but you decided to walk there pretty much every morning. It was good exercise.

You jiggled the key in the lock before swinging the doors open. The smell of old books comforted you. It was always one of your favorite things. If you could bottle the smell and make a candle, then your life would be complete.

You began to set up for the day, grinding coffee beans, getting the display case ready, wiping down counters, the works. You knew the store didn’t get it’s rush hour until at least nine o’clock, so you had plenty of time to yourself. You connected your phone to the speakers in the store and began to play some of your favorite songs.

If you were being honest, you loved having the place to yourself. While you loved social interactions and talking to people, there was something about the tranquil environment of a coffee shop that just made you feel content.

You knew it was going to be busier than usual, since it was a Monday and everyone needed their morning coffee before going to work. Once you were finished setting up, you got out your backpack and began working on your homework. You were currently attending the University of Kansas, trying to get your Masters degree in chemistry.

You would have gone to a more prestigious if you could have afforded it. But UK was the best you were going to get. Plus, it wasn’t all that bad, as you had made some new friends there. Your best friend, Jo Harvelle, you had know since you were ten years old. She worked along side you in the coffee shop, and she should have been here ten minutes ago.

“Jesus Jo.” You muttered under your breath, looking at your phone. “Why is she always so damn late.” You went ahead and clocked in for her, because if Chuck saw that she was half an hour late, he was going to fire her. Again.

“I’m here! I’m here!” She exclaimed, rushing through the doors. “Sorry I’m late. I overslept.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just put on your apron and get to work. These coffee’s aren’t going to make themselves."

Jo gave you a mock salute and got to work. Like you thought, the line was pretty long. You and Jo rushed to get out orders and clean up as you went. Around 12, it finally died down.

"Thank god it won't be that busy tomorrow. Tuesday's one of our slower days." Jo huffed as she leaned against the counter.

"Okay, you never told me. . . Why in the hell were you so late today?!" You cuffed Jo, who glared at you.

"Well, if you must know, Y/n, I was having a sleepover." She winked.

"With who this time?" You rolled your eyes.

"I don't actually remember." She admitted. "But he was hot." You snorted at her comment. Since there was hardly anyone there, you decided to sit down on one of the plush arm chairs and start your homework. You had midterms in two weeks, and you were stressing majorly.

"Jeez, Y/n. You're no fun." Jo complained.

"I'll be more fun once midterms are over. Until then, you get Grumpy Y/n." You flipped to the next page of your textbook.

A bell sounded through the store, signaling that someone had just entered. "Oh my god." Jo whispered.

"What?" You asked, furrowing your eyebrows.

"That's the hot guy I slept with last night. And I kinda just left without telling him this morning." You felt your jaw drop. 

“You’re kidding!” You hissed. “Jo, you told him where you work?”

“No!” She defended herself. “No, I didn’t. Look, he’s nice and all, but I really don’t wanna talk to him. I kinda just wanted last night to be a one time thing and never see him again.”

“Fine. Go into the back and start cleaning up while I take his order.” Jo threw you a grateful look as she quickly fled into the kitchen.

You stood up and made your way over to the counter, and boy, was Jo right. The man was very handsome. The first thing you noticed was his emerald green eyes. It was one of his most beautiful features. Although he was gorgeous all around.

“Hi! Welcome to Chuck’s, what can I get for you today?” You gave him a friendly smile.

“Uh, just a large Americano, please.”

You narrowed your eyes at him slightly. “Let me guess, you’re used to crappy diner coffee, right?”

The man chuckled, scratching the side of his face. “Yeah. How’d you guess?”

“You seemed kind of hesitant in ordering, plus, Americano’s are disgusting.” You scrunched up your nose.

“Alright, what do you suggest then?”

“Hmm. . .” You looked the man up and down, trying to see what type of coffee would best suit him. “An Irish coffee. You seem like the type to drink whiskey, am I right?”

“Yeah.” He seemed skeptical. 

“Alright. One large Irish coffee, coming right up. What’s the name for that?”

“Dean.” You nodded as you wrote down his name on the cup. As you were brewing the coffee, you heard a loud crash coming from the kitchen. You quickly set aside what you were doing and ran to the back. 

“Jo?” You called. Your best friend looked at you sheepishly as there were scattered cups on the floor. “Jesus Christ woman, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Is everything okay back here?” Dean asked, rushing into see the two women. “I heard a crash and wanted to make sure everything was okay.”  His eyes widened in surprised as he looked at Jo. “Jo, hey.” He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Oh, hey, uh-” Jo stumbled.

“Dean.” You whispered.

“Dean. Right, I knew that.”

“No, you didn’t.” Jo glared at you as she hit the back of your head.

“I’m just gonna go and wait for my coffee.” As soon as he was out of ear shot, you bursted out laughing. 

“Oh shut up!” 

You continued laughing as you went back to the counter. “I’m sorry for laughing.” You apologized in between breaths. “It’s just. . . Jo’s my best friend and she always looks for a chance to embarrass me, so whenever I get the chance to embarrass her, I take it.”

Dean cracked a smile. “Yeah, I’m like that with my brother.”

“I have a brother too.” You said, continuing to brew Dean’s coffee. “He’s five years older than me. Treats me like I’m a child.”

“It’s an older brother thing.” He grinned, leaning on the counter. “I act like I know more than him just because I’m older. It’s a complex.”

“Alright, here’s your Irish coffee.” You smiled, handing him the drink.

He took a small sip of the coffee, fully prepared to be hit with bitterness. He was pleasantly surprised to find that he liked the taste. It wasn’t too bitter or sweet, and the Irish Whiskey was a great bonus. “Wow, this is great.”

“Thanks, I’ve been trying out some new blends. I hope to convince my boss to add some new stuff to the board. But he’s a pain in my ass.” Dean chuckled.

“Well, I’ll definitely be back. This is much better than that crappy diner coffee.” Once Dean was gone, you called out to Jo, telling her that it was safe to come out.

“Well, that was awkward.” As Jo went to hit you again, you grabbed her wrist. “I love you, but I swear, the next time you hit me, I’ll hit you back.” Jo held her hands up in surrender, knowing full well that you would keep your promise.

Around three o’clock, you clocked out, finally going home for the day. You were exhausted and just wanted to get home to your cat, Storm. The days were getting shorter and the nights were getting cooler. It was becoming fall, the leaves were changing to a beautiful orange-red color, and every store you went inside smelled like pine cones. 

You unlocked the door to your apartment, setting down your keys and bag on the small table by the door. You clicked your tongue, calling out to your cat. He came instantly, wrapping his body around your ankle. “Hey, Storm. Did you have a good day?” Storm purred loudly as he continued to weave back and forth in between your legs.

You refilled Storms food bowl before going to sit down on the couch. You will still crunching for midterms, and it was awful, to say the least. You were hardly retaining anything that you were reading. Nothing seemed to be sticking.

You sighed as you threw your textbook aside. Instead of studying like you should have been, you decided to call your friend, Jack. You, Jack and Jo had been friends since you were kids, all going to the same elementary school. Granted, your parents had forced you to spend time together, but you grew to be close friends.

“Hey, Y/n!” Jack’s face popped up on the screen. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You smiled. “I feel like we haven’t talked in ages. Ever since you decided to go to college in North Carolina. Duke sucks, by the way.”

Jack laughed, his honey blond hair falling in his eyes. “Duke does not suck, I’ll have you know. It’s one of the most prestigious schools in the south.”

“Oh yeah, because the south is soooo great.” You teased.

“It is great, Y/n. Once you get past the bipolar weather, it’s nice. The food and drinks are amazing too.”

“Well, you better be getting your ass over here for Christmas. I haven’t seen you in months. Jo and I miss you a lot.”

“Speaking of Jo, how’s she doing? Does she still arrive ‘fashionably late’ to everything?”

“Duh.” You snorted. “Have you met Joanna Beth Harvelle?”

“Sadly.” He muttered. 

“Don’t act like you don’t love her. She may be an annoying bitch, but she’s our annoying bitch.” You both laughed, genuine smiles on your faces. It had been so long since you actually smiled. For months now, it felt like you had been drowning in the ocean, trying to break the surface, but never quite reaching it. You could hear other people around you talking, laughing, out living your life while you just stayed stuck.

You had so desperately wanted your senior year of college to be normal, to return to normal, at least. You wanted to enjoy everything that the last year of college had to offer. You wanted to get wasted at parties, hook up with hot guys, or girls, you didn’t really care. You just wanted to be happy, but things were so much more complicated than that.

“Okay, I really hate to leave so soon, but I have a date tonight.” Jack seemed proud of himself. He was awkward when it came to the female species, aside from you and Jo, he never really talked to other girls. He could never seem to say the right things to them, and it always turned out weird.

You pouted, sticking out your lip. “Aww, okay. Well, as soon as it’s over, call me. I want to know how it went.”

“Will do. Bye, Y/n. Love you.”

“Love you too.” And just like that, you were left alone with your thoughts again.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tag List:

@akshi8278​ @laycblack  @lovememisha

If anyone else would liked to be tagged when the next chapter comes out, let me know!

[bugmangaka]

Character of the Day #0 (Intro)

Here are the Main Characters for Mae and the Kingdoms of Seasons!

Mae, the Titular Character

Mae is a young adult who struggles with severe anxiety. Because of her anxiety, she is selectively mute, and she can sign. She is adopted, and therefore is an only child which is unusual for Seiki. She has two moms, and is bisexual herself! Her best friend is Dolly, her mentor is Noble, and her partner is Joel.

Asha

Asha is a Seiki from the past era who had a fierce spirit. She swears the most out of any character and doesn't act very "lady-like," which she learned from her strong mother. Sexism was rampant at that time so her disposition was seen as inappropriate  for a girl. However, her outgoing personality made her extremely popular with her peers. She took shit from nobody, and wasn't afraid to speak her mind. When she met Thatcher, he sadly took those qualities out of her. She spent the entirety of her afterlife following her family tree down and searching for a way to make up her past mistakes. She passed down a letter explaining what really happened to Ruben, but nobody in her family took it seriously... until Mae.

Ruben

Ruben was a bright-eyed student who really loved learning. He was an only child just like Mae, except for him it was because his family was extremely poor and the rest of his parents' eggs didn't make it. He's neurodivergent and struggles in social situations, but he just really really wants friends. He's picked on a lot but doesn't often realize that he is, he'll talk to anybody to try and befriend them. He'll often brag about his good grades and intellect as a way to impress people and make them like him, but others usually find him annoying. He wanted to grow up to do something so great that everybody would love him. He's overwhelmed by his own feelings, feeling too happy or too sad burns him out and causes him to shut down. When he starts to feel 'too much' he'll hide his face in his scarf. he studied with the human because he thought it was a great idea and that he was going to help everybody. He never intended things to go so south.. and even when he was reformed he never intended to hurt anybody.

Joel

Joel is Mae's partner, and one of her closet friends! He is pansexual, and completely mute because he was born without vocal chords. He learned how to sign when he was in elementary school thanks to his twin brother, Jeremiah. He grew up in a horribly abusive household, his mother thought that the Gods were punishing her for giving her a mute child. She tried to get him to talk by hurting him, and disapproved of him signing. He has a scar under his headband from his mom, from when she pulled so hard on his antennae that one split open. She would verbally and physically abuse both of her kids as 'punishment' for being 'such a burden to her,' and her husband just went along with it not bothering to stop her. One night, when he was 12, she was so mad that she kicked him out of the house. He only was able to take one of his journals with him and some food scraps and spent a while wandering around the kingdom homeless. Eventually, he stumbled upon an old man who helped him build a small shack to live in. He then found Mae's middle school, and watched the kids go in and out for a few days until a teacher noticed him and brought him in as part of the class. He met Mae when she walked past his house one day, and when he signed to her she signed back. He had never met another person besides his brother that could sign before and he instantly started crushing on her. The two became close friends in high school, and Joel was pining for her hard the entire time. Mae returned his feelings, but they didn't get together until during her big journey. Joel is a writer! He's mainly a poet, but he's been writing ever since he was little and is what he does for his job. He wrote the book "Tales of Kingdoms Past," which was about the other three kingdoms and what they did during the 200 year gap in communication. Joel has serious trauma from his past but denies it. He just wants his mom to love him and believes it's because he wasn't good enough, and was his fault.

Dolly

Dolly is Mae's best friend! They've been super close since they met in kindergarten. Dolly comes from a wealthy, higher-class family that has 5 daughters, her being the oldest in the litter. She's super upbeat and easily excitable, and loves getting to know knew people. She's very popular in her school and is invited to a lot of things, but she always makes sure to spend time with Mae and stick by her side. Dolly's parents are neglectful despite their family's "perfect" appearance. Her dad wanted a son, so he doesn't give them the time of day, and her mother doesn't bother to get to know them and is always away. Her parents usually leave her money and then leave for a couple days. Dolly and her sisters constantly want their mom's attention, but because Dolly was born looking the most like her mom, she's the only one that gets the sliver of attention. This affection is superficial and meaningless, and leaves her feeling empty, but it causes intense jealously between her and her sisters, they don't get along well at all. Her mother always advised her daughters to marry someone rich like she did (which is an indicator of what her parents' relationship is like), and to always appear submissive and weak because guys are 'turned away from powerful women.' Because of this, Dolly always dated higher-class boys her weren't the nicest. Several of them would try to take advantage of her because they knew that her dad didn't care enough to go after them. She'd always break up with them within a few weeks or so, they weren't her type at all but she was only following her mom's advice. Dolly is a very talented seamstress and sketcher, and wanted to own her own boutique one day. However she never thought she could because her mother would tell her women shouldn't work. When she graduated she met Anthony and started dating him, and she was able to be herself around him. The two got married very quickly on a whim, and then immediately after accidentally made a litter of 7 babies.

Anthony

Anthony is Dolly's husband! He's very timid and has a slight stutter. He comes from a notoriously wealthy family that is known for their extremely successful sons. Their family consists of two litters, the first being of 4 boys, Noble being the oldest of them. These are the 4 sons that are so famous. The second litters is of all girls except for Anthony. His sisters are very successful too, but outsiders always forget about Anthony and don't recognize him. He's very smart and loves math, and studied outside of school to become a tax collector for the queen (in this kingdom, taxes are only for the rich). He loves his wife and kids very much, and loves making horrible math puns.

Noble

Noble is the Captain of the Royal Guard! He is also Mae's mentor, and is gay and autistic. He is close friends with Queen Dahlia. He's the strong quiet type, a man of few words. He's strict and knows how to command his men, not somebody you'd want to mess with, He's well respected for his skill and leadership. He was a prodigy, and started learning how to use a sword when he was three. He was mentored by the previous captain of the guard himself, September. When he was in middle school, he was allowed into the guard program early. He lived away from home in the guards quarters from then on. While he was growing up there he figured out he was gay, but the royal guard is generally full of unaccepting people. He worked hard and was chosen to become September's successor, being the kingdom's youngest captain. He values his reputation a lot, and is terrified of people finding out his sexuality. He eventually gets together with Jeremiah, and is outted to the guard by somebody.

Jeremiah

Jeremiah is Joel's older twin! He's quite poor, and lives in a worn down one-room house where he runs his business, "Jeremiah's Shipping and Deliveries." He delivers tools and building materials to those who request it. Jeremiah was the one that was left behind with his mom after Joel left. Growing up, he always tried to act as the tough one and would stand up for his little brother when he was picked on. He's also queer, liking both girls and boys, but heavily denied it. He always picked fights with others that he couldn't win, and was used to getting beat up. When Joel was gone, he became very lonely and even more self-destructive. He became more violent and did horribly in school, he became friends with his pervious bullies and got into a lot of trouble with them. When he was a sophomore his dad left, and he had to deal with his mother by himself. He inherited bipolar disorder from his mother but he doesn't know that. When it came time to graduate he left home and never looked back. He's an alcoholic, he drinks to numb his feelings. He sleeps around with girls all the time, only to feel loved for one night. All these things just leave him feeling worthless and empty. Eventually, he reunited with Joel after seeing the book his brother published. He loves Joel and Mae so much, and is afraid of messing up his relationship with them. He has horrible self-esteem and constantly worries that he only has a bad impact on others. Eventually he meets Noble, who helps him accept himself and starts dating him.

Dahlia

Dahlia is the current reigning queen of the Seiki Kingdom. She's close friends with Noble. It was her controversial decision to send Mae out on her journey, but she was pressured into making a hasty choice by her brother and royal advisor, Cedar. Dahlia is quiet and regal, and tries to keep her emotions to herself. The entire purpose of her birth was to become the next queen, so she never had the chance to be a child. From day one she was taken and raised to be the perfect ruler. She's constantly under the pressure of Cedar, who is mean to her behind closed doors. Later on, Cedar pressures her to make an heir with somebody since she's getting older. She chooses Vincent for that job, but the two actually fall in love and she appoints him as her and her newborns' official doctor so that she gets to see him again.

Thatcher

Thatcher..... is basically the worst person. He is one of the worst villains in this universe. He was Asha's husband in the past era. He's a sociopath and a misogynist, and very rich. He's albino, which makes many see him as unique and attractive. Thatcher is incredibly clever, and nows how to manipulate everyone around him into thinking he's great and can do no harm. In reality, he has a violent mind with dark desires. He's the kinda guy to fantasize about keeping a girl in his basement. He owns an expensive store that sells jewels and holiday items. He met Asha when she was about to leave on her holiday trip. He noticed how loud and outgoing she was, and he thought that it'd be fun to "break/tame" her and force her into the role that he thought a woman should have. He flirted with her that day, but she rejected him. He saw this as part of the fun and proceeded to stalk her for the rest of the day. The entire time she was gone, he never stopped thinking about her and what he wanted to do to her. When she came back in tears after Ruben was "killed," he used that chance to act as her shoulder to cry on and worm his way into her life. They started dating, even though she wasn't very into it. Her mother and her friends encouraged her to marry him because of his status within their community. She did, but once they were married shit hit the fan fast. Thatcher was abusive to her, he'd slowly add onto what he could get away with. He'd pressure her into intimacy, and eventually would force himself onto her. He wanted kids, so he forced her to have his. She tried avoiding it for a while by using contraception without his knowledge, but when he found out he started getting physically abusive. Eventually, Asha became a shell of who she once was. Thatcher succeeded in breaking her, her fighting spirit was gone and she was quiet and numb. When their kids were four, Asha took her own life. Thatcher had pushed her too far. The loss of his wife was Thatcher's biggest regret, he couldn't take that back. But to him it wasn't the loss of his love, it was the loss of his favorite toy. He tried to regain his pride by manipulating his kids into believing that their mother passed because she didn't love them.

Verity

Verity is the current reigning queen of the Kitsuga kingdom! She was a strong warrior and leader, but her life was changed forever when the plague attacked. When Ruben's plague got to her kingdom, it killed many of the Kitsuga warriors, including her husband and the king, Clay. Her two kids Sato and Mana managed to hide, but many other Kitsuga were injured. Her son, Sato, decided to cocoon early to get his wings and encouraged many of his young peers to do so as well so that they could be more useful to the kingdom when they emerge. Verity is not silent most of the time, and just stands watching the kingdom from her den. She's still grieving the loss of her husband. She treated Mae like her own daughter, and was the one that taught her Mae's signature dive-bomb technique.

Marvin

Marvin is a Hachitsu, he's an inventor! He's autistic, asexual, and aromantic. He loves loves tinkering with machinery, coming up with ideas, and making friends. He's super passionate about his work and showing people what he does, but he sometimes is oblivious to social cues and accidentally  oversteps some boundaries. He's broke, and can just barely afford the rent on the garage he lives in. He bakes in his free time and sells his pastries to get a smidge of income. His sister, Pamela, is the only sibling that visits him regularly and makes sure he's taking care of himself. He's the only one in his family without a "real job," so his siblings and parents think that he's a disappointment. He met Mae when she came to the kingdom and was wandering around lost, unsure why people were ignoring her/acting rude (she was flying, and since the Hachitsu can't fly its considered rude to fly in their kingdom instead of using the stairs and pulleys). He saw this as an opportunity to finally make some money and made her pay for him to show her around. He ended up giving her her money back after she saved him when the plague attacked the Hachitsu, and the two became close friends. The two remain pen pals! Marvin's dream was to create an invention that would finally allow the Hachitsu to fly, he spent months trying to get the design right, and he just finally succeeded in creating a glider.

Charlotte

Charlotte is the current President of the Hachitsu kingdom, and she has been since she was 14 (Hachistu can run as many times as they like). She is the daughter of the previous president, who passed away when she was 14. Her mother encouraged her to become the next leader in her place. Her mother was killed by wasps, which gave Charlotte an intense fear of wasps ever since. She really loves bees! Bees are like dogs to them, they're dangerous to all other forest spirit species except for the Hachitsu, their bee-like colors and pheromones let them exist harmoniously with wild bees. Domestic bees are nice to everybody, regardless of species. She had several guard bees that she loved dearly, when the plague came, infected wasps came after her. Her bees gave their lives to protect her by fighting them off, but became part of the plague themselves. Charlotte is bisexual, but not very interested in dating. She's outspoken and very confident in herself, she's been runnin' this job for a long time and she believes she knows what she's doing.

Bel

Bel is an elderly Kameshi. He's the first and only Kameshi Mae ever met during her journey, although she does meet more later on in life. During the 200 year gap, the Kameshi kingdom had a civil way that led to its destruction. Now, the kingdom is just ruins, and Kameshi live on their own scattered across the forest. He lives in a cave near the remains of the cabin, and often goes through it to find human items. He's a collector of human things, and his cave is littered with various human objects. His scarf is made of a green cloth and thread that he found in the dirt near the cabin, and is actually where Mae's needle came from! When Mae found her needle it was attached to a green thread, it was the very same one. Bel approached Mae because he noticed the needle on her back, and he wanted to get a better look. Bel is everyone's grandpa, he ofc treats Mae like his own granddaughter and is protective of her. He was the one that encouraged her to look inside the cabin to help with her journey. Mae came to visit him over a year later with Joel, and Bel didn't like Joel much sbhjdshsdshd simply because he was "dating" Mae (they were already married at that point lmao). He had also adopted an orphaned 5-year old Kameshi girl who he named Scamp. He gets his own arc later on in the series when he finds a hidden village of Kameshi, and he reunites with his past love, Tuft.

[nileqt87]

Despair For Castiel: A Review

From a series of posts before and after watching:

Before:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm now imagining the Empty having to deal with Gabriel and Balthazar redecorating the Empty into the angel/demon afterlife (probably with a lot of wacky alternate realities and bad porno) with all the free will angels and redemptive demons invited, Cas finding Meg and eventually Jack again for his true happy ending that he can have and Crowley probably trying to install himself as king again. Then when Rowena finally exits as Queen of Hell, she'll join and Crowley will annoyed, but Gabriel will be happy to see her again. LOL.

Megstielers also got robbed hard with all that setup of Cas still pining for Meg for YEARS, the Empty using her image (not Dean!) to taunt him (the Empty clearly saw Meg in Cas' head when it could have taken the form of anyone, including Cas like last time) and a whole dropped plot thread that Cas made a deal with Ruby to break a demon out of the Empty, which only makes sense with the one and only demon he'd actually want to let out of the Empty. That's dangling one 'ship a whole bunch of carrots (like every single Clarence reference for a decade) to rip the rug out from under them.

I suppose I should've seen it coming when the previously on segment for 15x13 was a Pizza Man and the Babysitter retrospective that shoved Cas out of the Pizza Man role beside Babysitter Nurse Meg to shove Dean into Megstiel's sexy times meme. I guess it turned Cas into just Dean's Baby in a Trench Coat (which was an insult about being useless to Dean's cause without powers, which suggests Cas has no worth to him otherwise), since he got infantilized with the removal of the Pizza Man originally being him.

I still haven't watched the episode. The Tumblr crap is that off-putting.

What should've been an epic moment in Cas' story is now tainted by his love of humanity, found family and free will (his real love story is with all of humanity and finding belonging, in spite of always being on the outside looking in on a life he can't have because he's not human) being reduced to horny girls who just want fetish smut with Dean and don't give a fig about canon Cas outside of a toxic, abusive crack!ship. It's always so immature and vapid!

It was immediately clear when I joined the fandom that shockingly few gave a crap about any character but Dean, even refusing to see what he's become in later seasons. Also numerous examples where they admit having not seen the show in a decade or only knowing the show via manipulative .gif sets. Cas and Sam (if they remember him at all) are just props or prizes to be won. They ignore context of familial/platonic relationships. Canon love interests aren't good enough because they're not the big prize of being a main. I also note the deluge of Wincest girls who hate Cas for existing (he's in their way) in the anti-Destiel tag.

I can't say the .gifs are making me want to watch, even though the dialog is vague enough to still fit Cas' actual character for the general audience who isn't glued to social media.

As for Dean's non-reaction, I had similar problems with Jensen's constipated acting back in 15x03 when Cas finally walked away while Dean looked like he couldn't care less, which the writers coincidentally praised Jensen for (holy crap that interview was up his backside) and completely ignored Misha actually giving a good performance in a scene that actually meant something long coming for Cas. I certainly can't say the same about the quality of this scene, which just looks forced on both ends.

I hope I like the episode more than the sounds of it, but my hopes aren't high. This is not how I wanted Cas' final moments on the show to be.

After:

Well, I got up the stomach to watch it tonight. Thankfully, in context, it definitely got blown way out of proportion by what the Hellers turned it into (as usual). Yeah, even when watching while unfortunately not blind to the wackadoodle fandom discourse, it played out better on screen than the .gifs. And frankly, a whole lot less like creepy Care Bear stare nightmare fuel than the few choice screenshots kept showing (yikes). I still wish Sam and Jack had been there, because they're just as much part of what connected Cas to feeling like part of a family (even more so in the later years), but it's not the total monstrosity it was turned into online.

Average viewers who just take canon as is without trying to read into it what they want to be there instead, IMO, will safely interpret it platonically (even if coming after a particularly hellish few years in Dean's personality rot where the whole friendship was beginning to be questionable) more often than not because that's what the canon has said for a dozen years. Again, I repeat that Cas already told the Winchesters he loved them when he thought he was dying.

It's a crime to have Cas' perfect philia (brotherly), storge (parental) and agape-style (sacrificial and unconditional) loves being immaturely twisted into eros in a way that degrades the whole meaning of the character's journey. People telling each other they love one another when it's not sexual should never be mocked into being afraid to do so because of this insidious, willful misinterpretation. If only somebody had told Cas they love him instead of him always being the one with his heart on his sleeve!

This character went from being tortured into a robotic, emotionless, ancient, not-remotely-humanoid being who couldn't relate to the simplest of human needs to being someone deeply in love with humanity and wanting to find belonging amongst it despite knowing it would always end with him watching them all grow old and die after having families and such experiences angels are forbidden from having (another reason why Jack was so important to Cas' story).

The wording is valid for that philia/agape interpretation, given Cas definitely equated Dean (whom Cas watched sacrificing himself for Sam endlessly, including why he had to be raised from perdition in the first place) with a guide role in his learning to understand humanity and proudly-defiant free will before he could love it. It's valid enough to say that Cas wouldn't have broken his programming permanently without being challenged to question everything he'd ever believed and give up his entire angelic belonging. That much of it did begin with Cas just happening to be the angel who succeeded in the Hell rescue.

Obviously, it's also canon that Cas had a long history of not following orders and getting lobotomized by Naomi, but Cas actually understanding humanity and what free will means did happen only after this particular rebellion. I'm very glad at least that was in the speech, but of course, it's being hopelessly ignored.

I stand by my interpretation that what Cas can't have has always been the tragic version of The Little Mermaid where she turns into sea foam in the end. Cas has always looked in on what everyone else takes for granted from the outsider's perspective. There's a part of him that will always be left out, no matter how well he learns to fit in and how much those around him begin to treat him as a real person. Cas never really got to truly belong with humanity, no matter how much he loves and is loved by it. He's also not getting to stay where he wants to be. There's no Pinocchio ending for Cas that turns him into a real Winchester.

Sadly, Dean's constant othering of him and Jack like they're just more monsters to hunt only alienated them more. Jack was someone Cas could relate to as a supernatural being capable of human emotions, which might also have furthered his draw towards Meg. Sam was also someone Cas could relate to as freaks and abominations amongst their own kinds. Sam always had that same struggle, also with his own family. It goes a long way towards explaining why Sam was always so empathetic to Cas and Jack in a way that Dean couldn't be. All three kept conflicting with that black & white humans = good/other = bad mindset that sometimes creeps in with Dean. When Cas was Dean's "best friend" in the early days, he rationalized it by thinking of Cas as being "like" a human ("You used to be human, or at least like one.").

Yet it still remains true that Cas often found himself looking to Dean to teach him about humanity back when he didn't know enough about it to be inconspicuous amongst them. Dean gave him the crash course in both what humanity is willing to do for each other, but also its flaws and failings at the same time.

Perhaps the saddest scenes in the episode were actually Sam watching everyone poof in front of him. Sam has really been forced to watch a lot of death scenes this season all by himself (as with Rowena), but he looked the most broken by Eileen's. Cas is going to be hard on him, because I genuinely think Sam was far closer to him in the end. Sam was the one who actually was trying to reach out to Cas when Dean repeatedly kept him out of the loop. Sam being left out from the final words with Cas or even hearing first-hand about the deal with the Empty just furthers that tragedy. While Dean has been raging at everything in sight, Sam and Cas have both looked broken, sad and tired all season.

[rikumorimachisgirl]

Hi! Do you like Yamaguchi? Can you please write a nice fluffy story about him?

Hello, Anon! I honestly don't know how anyone can not like this precious boy! I mean, sure, at first, I thought, "oh, what a weak and insecure boy" because he was always hiding in Tsukishima's shadow, but as I watched the episodes, I saw his character develop into someone strong, and quite independent. Suddenly, he had his own identity apart from Tsuki. When he confronted Tsuki about his lack of passion, I also thought he was super cool.

As for the story...

Title: "Catch Me If You Can"

Yamaguchi x Reader

Genre: Fluff

"Yamaguchi-san! Yamaguchi-san!"

The shy captain of the Karasuno Volleyball club was immediately stopped in his tracks by a group of fangirls, who were waiting for him by the gate. It was a normal occurrence, he thought - everyday before practice some girls would already be there to hand him gifts of all sorts, and sometimes goodies they've prepared - but it wasn't for him, it was for him to hand over to his teammates they've had crushes on. He knew right away which present belonged to who, without looking at the tags - milk boxes and cookies usually go to Kageyama, while Hinata's presents are usually rice balls, and health bars and they usually come with a note saying 'do your best, little giant", and of course his best friend Tsukishima gets the most presents of all. 

Smiling, he'd take out the large shopping bag he's learned to bring every day and hold it in front of them. "Okay, ladies, just stuff them all in the bag and I'll make sure the guys get them," he'd say, and compliment them one by one as they placed their gifts in the bag. 

He paused for a moment when he saw you approaching with your group of friends. Dressed in your cheerleading uniforms, he knew right away that you and your friends must be dropping off something for the guys as well. He felt a sharp pain in his gut at the thought of you crushing on one of his team members, but all he could do was keep his arms open as he held the shopping bag out for you. 

"Thanks for always doing this," you said as you dropped your gift in the bag. "It must be exhausting to have to keep collecting all these presents."

"Uh… uh… It really isn't. I don't mind doing this for the team," he responded, blushing. 

"Good luck in practice today, Yamaguchi!" Flashing him one last smile, you waved and left with your friends. 

***

"Wow, Yamaguchi, we got a lot of gifts from the girls today," Hinata exclaimed as he watched their team captain distributing the tokens from his team's fangirls after practice. "Tsuki, I want to trade one of these rice balls for that bag of  jelly beans!"

He snickered at Hinata's request, and looked at the almost-empty bag. This happened daily - all his teammates, including the newbies, and on a few occasions, even Yachi, Coach Ukai, and Mr. Takeda - received presents from fans. As for him, he hardly received any. The only times he did was if the token was a team present. But it didn't get him down. To him, being chosen as the captain of the team was worth more than any present all the fangirls can give. 

But then your smiling face flashed in his mind, and he paused for a second. 'I wonder who her present was for,' he thought silently as he gazed at his teammates. He wouldn't be surprised if you liked Kageyama or maybe even his best bud Tsukishima, but he also wished you didn't. After all, he's been pining for you since middle school. If only you knew, he thought again as he started folding the shopping bag. 

"Huh?" He felt something inside the bag as he was holding it. He must've forgotten to give out one last present, he thought. Reaching in, he felt a small plastic bag inside. 'Must be for one of the guys," he thought as he pulled it out. The small bag contained chocolates - the milk chocolate round ones, which he usually bought from the fancy candy shop at the mall. Curious, he looked at the tag to see who the lucky recipient was and gasped. 

"To Tadashi, I hope you like these candies. Love, Your Secret Admirer'

Secret Admirer? Was this some kind of joke, he thought. Blushing, he placed the chocolates inside his bag and proceeded to change into his uniform before the first-period bell rang. 

***

This continued in the days that followed - he collects gifts for his teammates, and when he hands them over, he'd always find a gift and a note from his "Secret Admirer".  He made it a point to glance at the packages the girls were carrying, in the hopes to find a clue somehow. Because of this, he knew that Akane, Junko and Yumi from Class 4-4 all liked Tsukishima, Kageyama's fans were mostly sophomores, and Hinata was a heartthrob among freshmen. But somehow, he always managed to miss the person he was dying to meet, and it was starting to get frustrating. 

If anything, he's happy he gets to see you everyday. He'd fix his eyes on you as you approach him with a big smile on your face, and engage him in small talk as you dropped your present in the bag. He loves that you always greet him good luck before you leave, but he also realizes that in the time he spends talking to you, he'd lose track of watching who dropped which present and his "Secret Admirer" had once again managed to get away. 

The notes he got were getting sassier by the day, too. The other day, it said, "You've been looking at the gift bags. Smart. But you've got to be quick if you want to catch me." Yesterday's gift tag read, "You almost caught me yesterday. Maybe if you're a tad bit quicker, you'll find me out soon!" Today's heart-shaped chocolates came with a note that read, "Please catch me tomorrow." All signed with 'Your Secret Admirer'. 

"Well, who do you think it is?"

Yamaguchi looked up and saw Hinata looking at the tag on his chocolates. 

"Uh, well, it's nothing. This is nothing. Just a prank, I'm sure," Yamaguchi said, blushing as he kept the bag of chocolates in his bag. 

"That's one expensive prank, don't you think?" 

"Tsuki, y-you noticed the chocolates?" 

"It's hard not to when you keep fumbling with your bag just to stuff it in," the blond middle blocker retorted. "So, you haven't caught her yet?"

"Obviously," Yamaguchi said sadly. 

"Do you even know who she is?"

"I don't. I tried looking at the gift bags, but I can't seem to find a clue."

"Do you look at all the bags?"

"Yes, of course," Yamaguchi replied. 

"All of it?" 

He paused and thought of you and your conversations in the morning, as you drop off your present. 

Your present. What does it look like? Who is it for? None of your teammates ever mentioned getting a present from you. Even Kageyama who was remotely interested in girls would usually tell everyone if the present was from a cheerleader because he knew your teammates thought they were hot. And then it hit him - you always managed to sneak your present in because you'd lock eyes with him while talking.

"Well?"

Hinata's voice snapped him back to reality, and he sighed. "I may have a clue, but I'm not sure if it's her. What should I do to find out though?"

"Just catch her," Tsukishima said flatly before walking off to class. 

***

The next day, the hoard of admirers stopped him again as he was on his way to the gym. As always, he held out the shopping bag and each of the girls took turns dropping their presents and wishing the team good luck for the upcoming game. He saw you coming over, just like you did every day. Your hands were in your jacket, and you wore a lovely smile like always. 

"Today's the day you leave for Inter-high. Are you excited?" 

"Yes. I'm excited and a little nervous, but the team has been working hard, so I'm sure we'll be okay," he replied, while subtly taking in your body language. 

"I'm excited to see you play. The girls and I are headed there after lunch," you said, shifting your weight to the right as you run your fingers across the good luck charm you attached to the bag of candies in your pocket 

"That would be awesome. It'll be cool if you get to catch one of our games," he responded. 

"It'll be cooler if I get to watch you do your jump float serve," you said, keeping his eye contact as you removed your gift from your pocket ever so slowly to place in the shopping bag, just like you did every day. 

Just as you were about to drop the gift, you felt a tug in your hand and gasped. Dropping your gaze, you saw his hand on your wrist and when you looked at him again, you saw him smiling at you gently. "The coolest thing for me is finally catching you drop a gift in the bag," he said, smiling. 

"Oops," you said, grinning back at him. "Looks like I've finally been caught."

"I've got a lot of questions, but I'll save it for later. Right now, I've got a bus to catch."

You watched him run off to his teammates, who patted him on the back and started teasing him while they boarded the bus. Soon after, you took out your phone and typed a message. 

'I'll be waiting for our talk. Good luck on your game, Tadashi. Love, Your not-so-secret Admirer.'

And inside the bus, the team captain smiled, and held his phone to his heart. 

The End. 

[marysfoxmask]

“the secret garden” (2020) review

(warning: spoilers!)

just watched the latest adaptation again! i wanted to see it a second time to really get my thoughts and feelings together. and, while i think it was a good effort, ultimately i was disappointed. my instincts when i first saw the trailer were more or less correct—really vibrant, flashy visuals ultimately subtract from the low-key nature of the book. when adapting a story about realizing the magic in mundanity, realizing the magic inherent to the turning of the seasons and the growing of plants that we usually take for granted, it’s monumentally better to prioritize realism over fantasy.

mary’s character was served the best by the new film, though sadly that isn’t saying too much. while i understood that this mary would be different from her book counterpart, i definitely felt the original’s absence more than i would have liked. the mary of this film is just too well-adjusted, to the point where her arc is less about a spiritually stunted, completely neglected child becoming healthy and whole through the power of nature and socialization (as it is in the novel) and more about a vaguely troubled child apologizing to the specter of her late mother for feeling badly about being neglected, which is essentially the opposite of what burnett was getting at.

was anyone pining for a mrs. lennox redemption story? the same woman who, as per the book, never wanted a child and only cared about going to parties? i’ll forever be baffled by people being more invested in the adults and their ponderous backstories rather than the emotional development of the child protagonists; this film seems a lot more interested in the impact of the deaths of mary and colin’s mothers, to a bizarre degree. “grace” craven (really? was “lilias” not good enough?) and her sister (this and the 1993 film both depart from the book, where mary’s father is related to lilias, in favor of making mrs. lennox and mrs. craven twins—a decision i’m confused by in terms of thematic relevance on both accounts) are never characterized more than being essentially the angels of misselthwaite. they float by, laughing gaily, dressed in white, at points during the film. they are bittersweet representations of the idealized past and, at one point, guardians of their loved ones left behind.

i’ve never enjoyed the romanticization of lilias craven in any adaptation. mary calls the fairytale trope of beautiful princesses falling asleep in a garden for a hundred years stupid in the novel; and what is lilias but a princess eternally sleeping in her beloved garden? she’s beautiful and innocent and good and thoroughly uninteresting. she’s the angel of the house, embarrassingly dated compared to her imperfect, misfit niece, who is coming awake and growing healthy while lilias is frozen in amber, a beautiful idealized figure even in death. the interest in her in this film, the broadway musical—and even the 1993 movie, to an extent—seems to completely contradict the point of the novel, fetishizing the past and resisting lending enough focus to the events of the present. mary is a spunky, interesting, flawed heroine who doesn’t need to share the spotlight with any angels of the manor; the story of the secret garden is one about healing from trauma, not wallowing in it.

that isn’t even touching on the decision to have mrs. lennox be an apparently good person brought low by depression following her beloved twin’s death. i find this adaptive choice to be positively loathsome. mrs. lennox, as a character, is a bad mother and a silly, foolish person, point blank, period. she hands baby mary off to an ayah the moment she’s born, keeps her isolated and locked up, and insists that the ayah keep mary quiet lest “the mem sahib” become angry. when given the chance of evacuating due to the cholera epidemic raging, she instead stays in order to go to a party. she’s a frivolous character whose superficial prioritization of amusement leads directly to her death. she doesn’t need a sympathetic reason to be neglectful to mary; she doesn’t need to be sympathetic at all. the decision to make that a priority in this latest adaptation hurts mary’s character. when she tells her uncle that it was too hot to play in india (a sentiment taken directly from the novel), it doesn’t ring true—in the multiple flashbacks to india, mary plays a lot with her loving father (her ayah, while mentioned, is rarely seen; what we see of india is populated entirely by privileged whites), and is shown to enjoy herself tremendously until she glimpses her mother wilting sadly on a cushion or something. it undermines what little development mary has in the film. 

the prioritization of mary and colin's mothers in general make the film feel weirdly overstuffed while giving little weight/emphasis to the events present in the source material. how many lines did major secondary characters like dickon or martha have, for example, compared to all the waffling mary and colin do about whether or not their mothers loved them and whether mary really killed her mother or not they, at the end of the day, really knew their parents, et cetera, et cetera? it’s a frustratingly shallow addition to the original story, devoid of thematic relevance.

speaking of shallow additions…

hector, a stray dog, assumes the role of the book’s robin (bizarre, considering the robin is also present), being the friendly animal character that leads mary to the secret garden. i’m not sure why the decision to add hector was made; he’s also the catalyst for mary leading dickon to the garden, while she needed no such thing in the book. did marc munden feel kids wouldn’t sympathize so readily with mary befriending a bird, despite the success of all the other adaptations saying otherwise? hector gets a lot of attention in the film, which is frustrating, because so much of the movie is filled with strange original additions that say little. 

despite the clear talent of the actors and the vividness of the visuals, the changes to the story are devoid of purpose. the time period, for instance—why 1947? why have mary’s orphaning take place during the partition of india when her parents die of cholera anyway? why make martha and dickon black when the script pussyfoots around it, refusing to interact with that aspect of their characters in the same way burnett directly (if somewhat tactlessly) interacts with their poverty? save for vague, implicatory dialogue, like the threat of having poor dickon whipped if he’s sighted in misselthwaite by mrs. medlock, the racism of the time period isn’t featured at all. martha is stripped of any characterization at all, her cheerfulness diluted to the point of being nonexistent once mary gets a bit snappy. perhaps the decision to mute martha’s characterization was made out of fear of the implications of a black maid being cheerfully nurturing to a white girl despite her cruelty (invoking the mammy stereotype)—but if so, why make the decision to change martha’s race at all?

the structure of the film is odd, too. mary meets colin early on (in the book, mary explicitly states that she’d hate the imperious and bratty colin if she hadn’t met kindly martha or dickon first) and doesn’t meet dickon until halfway through. why? it directly contradicts the novel for no particular reason; it doesn’t help that dickon is so underused that he’s virtually a non-entity, his three whole canonical character traits (poor! happy! in tune with nature!) watered down to nothing. In this film, dickon isn’t particularly happy (he’s just as solemn and damaged as the other two kids, though in a more subdued way, as his father has died in the war—it’s frustrating that his rich white peers get to air their mommy issues at length while poor dickon’s grief is only glanced at) and his skill with animals is only vaguely alluded to. his skill with plants, negated by the apparent flourishing of the secret garden even when no one’s looking after it, is only brought up when, in one scene taking place in the garden, colin asks dickon what certain plants are.

it’s also frustrating that dickon, the only poor and nonwhite character in the trio, is the only one doing only actual gardening work while his friends sit around and talk about their trauma. the whole time, i wanted to urge mary to stop indulging in her overactive imagination for once and pull some weeds or something. putting in the work to make her secret garden flourish is an important part of her growth in the book, but that’s entirely absent here in favor of the occasional frolic. dickon even eventually whittles colin a cane he uses to eventually stumble into his father’s arms. this gesture should be touching and evident of the strength of the boys’ (offscreen) bond but instead is only another example of dickon selflessly and thoughtlessly serving his betters, making the classist implications of burnett’s original story more obviously troubling by adding race into the mix. it’s also bizarre that mary can cartwheel but dickon can’t, given how physically adept he was in the book. poor dickon is sapped of all his accomplishments, it seems. his character is completely glossed over, though i do like his feistiness in his meeting with mary, with him coming out of the mist and sharply remarking that martha loves him much more than she likes her. even more sadly, unlike his ‘93 counterpart, he doesn’t even get to eat a worm.

mrs. medlock is one-notedly antagonistic, being hard-nosed and strict and disapproving of mary’s wild ways—which is also disappointing. she’s not outright villainous, but she’s denied the shades of sympathy allowed her by the original novel, where she was a straightforward, unsentimental woman working a thankless job trying to satisfy and care for a tyrannical little hypochondriac. she’s also probably the closest thing we have in the movie to a xenophobe/racist, frequently making coded comments about the primitive and savage nature of the english colonies in india where mary grew up, but that’s only ever hinted at without being called out by mary or anyone else. there’s also an odd moment at the beginning of the film where mrs. medlock states the book-accurate sentiment that nothing lives on the moor but wild ponies and sheep, yet mary sees in the mist multiple shadowy figures with what i think are wheelbarrows and gardening tools (it’s a bit hard to tell with all the mist). this probably is meant to clue mary in to medlock’s classism, foreshadowing that mary will be given insight to the outdoors and different people in a way medlock could never be, changing her views of the class hierarchy she’s been inundated by—i’m not sure what else can be gleaned by the contradiction of medlock’s words and what mary sees but that—but nothing is done with it. we never see anyone on the moor but dickon throughout the rest of the movie. it’s another missed opportunity. maybe it’s meant to set up that there are poachers on the moor who set traps, like the one hector is hurt by? after seeing the movie twice, i’m still not sure what the purpose of that imagery was.

there are parts of the film i enjoyed! all the children do wonderfully in their roles (amir wilson does well with what frustratingly little he has), and i enjoyed this film’s characterization of colin as somewhat stiff, with a practiced, affected way of speaking that subtly indicates that he’s spent more time with books than with people. it makes a nice contrast to mary’s plainspokenness as a (relatively classless) orphan and dickon’s “rough” (lower-class) yorkshire accent, showing off his education and status as an upper-class boy. 

the scene just before mary shows colin the tree his mother died beneath, when colin asks dickon about the names of flowers, is very sweet and book-accurate; i especially appreciate the nod to the kids’ book mastery of yorkshire, with colin mimicking dickon’s speech and noting that the names of the flowers sound better in his accent. 

i also loved him calling dickon handsome. it is socially awkward? yes. does it make sense for colin to be socially awkward? also yes. and it’s adorable and book-accurate, in my opinion; if dickon weren’t so homely in the book, i imagine colin would call him handsome there, too. and mary proudly stating that dickon can whistle, as well, is lovely.

similarly, mary and dickon teaching colin to swim is very sweet—while i found most of the garden’s cgi magic wholly dispensable, i did enjoy the plants shivering along with colin. that sort of playfulness felt very attuned to the innocence of the book. 

edan hayhurst does a wonderful job playing colin haughty and upset and an equally lovely job playing colin giddy and happy—if only he’d been allowed to really show off his screaming in a proper adaptation of his hysterics, instead of the pale imitation we got in the film!

it’s funny to note how much these kids get enjoyment out of pretending to be dogs. mary barks at hector when she first makes friends with him, pretends to be a yorkshire terrier with dickon when hector gets well in the garden, all the kids start barking when playing together, mary recites in a letter that colin pretended to be a dog all day...these kids sure love to bark. it’s not a bad thing, necessarily, just funny. why the dog obsession, marc munden? though i like the idea of them pretending to be animals (the masks they wear at one point are lovely), dogs feel a very typical choice. still, i can’t help but get enjoyment out of the kids playing together, though these moments are sadly brief. 

i also really enjoyed all of mary’s outfits. they were adorable. if only we could have gotten more interactions between the children! part of the beauty of the second half of the novel is just watching the kids be kids in the garden; we rarely get that in all of the adaptations, of course, but in this one i was particularly sorrowful, given all the new directions the story went and how none of them directly impacted the children’s friendship with each other. there wasn’t even the mild jealousy colin has over mary spending more time with dickon than she is with him, which is present in most of the films. it’s a real shame; colin doesn’t even know dickon exists until he meets him, in a hurried scene that doesn’t remotely convey the sweetness of their meeting in the novel. the movie flits over all the book’s little idyllic joys in favor of its own original drama (which is not nearly as compelling as the movie thinks it is).

i did also enjoy the ending scene, with the kids swimming together, and mary attempting to tell a story with colin and dickon interrupting. it’s nice to see an ending to this story that doesn’t follow the book, which forgets mary and dickon in favor of colin. i think ending with the kids playing happy and whole in the garden is much more representative of the book’s charms. and the scene where mary and dickon first enter misselthwaite and are giving all-clear signs to one another as they go is fun, too.

i also enjoyed the set design, including all the green present in misselthwaite’s decor. i loved the high ceilings and the bareness of mary’s bedroom. poor colin still didn’t have any proper pajamas, reduced to wearing a white tank top for some reason, though i liked his goofy little hat that he wears when going outdoors. i wish we got to spend more time in colin’s room, and i wish the color saturation had been toned down a little just so we could get a better look at everything. all the insistent gloomy blues felt a bit overbearing. 

i love the opening credits, though, and “the secret garden” slowly appearing in the title screen. the music and the soft green of the trees against the words really conjure up the novel’s near-pagan melancholy and mystery.

the less said about the third act climax of misselthwaite burning down, the better. it’s unneeded and resolves a film-only subplot about mary’s mother that didn’t need to be there in the first place. i think it also unfairly paints misselthwaite as a cursed, doomed place that can only benefit its inhabitants by being destroyed, which is unfortunate. misselthwaite wasn’t the problem, its people was, and they only thought misselthwaite was gloomy because they’d made it so. if they’d followed the teachings of burnett’s book, the one they were adapting, and thought a little more positively about it, then maybe they’d find it wasn’t such a terrible place to be. but, then, i guess we wouldn’t have the third act climax to artificially ramp up the stakes. how sad.

i could say more, but i’ll stop for now. i appreciate the effort, like i said, but i can’t help but feel this missed the mark.

[ardentaislinn]

Yuletide Letter 2020

Hi! I am also ardentaislinn on AO3. Thank you so much for volunteering to write one of my chosen fandoms! I really can’t wait to see what you come up with. Most importantly, I hope you have fun writing whichever of my fandoms it is. Any suggestions I make here are optional.

Here you’ll find:

My general likes

My DNWs

And prompts for the following fandoms:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2 (2020) - Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

Stranger | 비밀의 숲 - Hwang Si Mok, Han Yeo Jin

Kingdom | 킹덤 - Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018) - Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

A quick note on the Korean names - I’m fine with however you choose to transliterate them. Hyphen/no hyphen, Shi Mok/Si Mok, etc. Just do what you are comfortable with and I’ll adjust no problem. No need to add the honourifics, though

My likes:

I love getting together fics most of all. I love almost every kind of trope (fake dating, slow burn, rivals-to-lovers, “unrequited” pining (that is really requited), found families, etc.) Also, casefic, epistolary fic, consent, forbidden pleasures, beta heroes, bed sharing, masquerades, military kink, physical imperfections, ladies being badass and female relationships (whether romantic or friendship), relationships that build tension before exploding, equal relationships, trapped together, competence, communication, U/RST, positive endings.

You may notice from the below that my ships mostly involve sweet and occasionally broken men being head over heels for awesome ladies, (and usually not feeling worthy). So that dynamic is strongly encouraged.

I also like smut, but it certainly isn’t a necessity. For smut, I’m (sadly) fairly vanilla. But I like light bondage, cunnilingus, shower sex, and accidental/consensual voyeurism, (Particularly guys taking matters into their own hands when they think they can’t be with their lady, and the woman stumbling across him mid-act. Possibly my favourite kink ever? Writer’s choice whether the woman joins in or gets embarrassed)

Happy endings (or at least hopeful endings) are preferred. Like, super, super preferred. I don’t mind angst at all, but it kinda has to be on the way out of the darkness by the end.

Dislikes/DNWs:

Miserable endings. Major character death. Baby/Pregnancy fic. Humiliation. Drug use/drug mentions/addiction. Self harm/abuse. Non-con/rape. Heavy kink. A/B/O. M-Preg. Incest. Bestiality, animal harm etc. Underage sexual content. 1st person POV (unless for epistolary). Not big on high school AUs or Rock band AUs. Unbalanced power dynamics in ships without acknowledging/exploring that. (This effects one particular ship below, which I’ll discuss in more detail in the fandom section).

I think that’s it?

And so, to the fandoms, in no particular order:

Peninsula: Train to Busan 2

Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin

While maybe objectively not as good a film as the first one, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. Given that it was essentially a cross between Escape From New York and Mad Max, what isn’t to love? I loved the expansion of the world and the clever uses of zombies in the chase scenes. And I loved that the message was that being logical and self-sacrificing isn’t always the right choice - sometimes you should be driven by heart and empathy. And I really liked the idea that anything can mean happiness when you love and are loved in return - particularly in regards to Joon Yi, but also Jung Seok (and his found family?).

What would interest me the most in this fandom is post-movie fics. But if you wanna do a canon divergent/au thing, I’d be cool with that, too. Some prompts:

Joon Yi struggles a lot more than her sister to readjust to a “normal” life

In order to stay together after being rescued, Jung Seok and Min Jung have to pretend to be married

After four long years of loneliness, Min Jung just wants to be touched

Jung Seok isn’t surprised to find himself in love with Min Jung - and wanting to be a father to her girls - but is he good enough for them? He’s left them behind once - can he forgive himself? Can Min Jung?

The zombie plague escapes from Korea - and Jung Seok, Min Jung, and her girls are the closest thing to experts on how to fight back and contain it that the authorities have. Will their nightmare never be over? Or is this a chance to end it once and for all?

With Min Jung in hospital while her leg heals, Jung Seok suddenly finds himself a surrogate father to two very unruly girls.

Stranger | 비밀의 숲

Han Yeo Jin, Hwang Si Mok

This show is just so good, and Si Mok and Yeo Jin - and their relationship - is a big part of that. He’s logical and doesn’t feel things the way most other people do, but that doesn’t mean he’s given a free pass to be an asshole. He’s a good man who always does what’s right. And Yeo Jin is just as smart as he is, and equally committed to doing what’s right, but in a different way. They make a perfect team.

I love how much they absolutely, completely, trust and respect each other. Si Mok cares about her as much as he is capable - probably more so than he cares about anyone else. There isn’t any drama or jealousy or anything like that in their relationship. They are both practical adults. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have a deep bond. I do ship these two - and would love getting together fic if you can!

Prompts:

Yeo Jin will probably have a tough time of it from now on. How will Si Mok support her through it?

How will Yeo Jin and Si Mok keep in touch now that he’s moved away again? Late night phone calls that slowly become more intimate? Texts or emails (epistolary style)?

In the last episode, there was a hint that Si Mok had a prophetic dream. What if he really did develop a power? And Yeo Jin was the only one he trusted with the truth?

What if Yeo Jin and Si Mok had to travel somewhere for an investigation - and there’s only one bed…

Si Mok isn’t incapable of noticing when a woman is attracted to him. But what if that woman is Yeo Jin? Do they try to make a friends-with-benefits arrangement work? Or do they like each other two much for that?

Everyone already knows Yeo Jin and Si Mok are close - but why do their friends suddenly think they are dating? What’s changed? And how do they stop the rumours - without disappointing all the friends who were hoping they’d finally become a couple?

Yeo Jin had drunk one too many shots of soju and thought she might never see Si Mok again - so she’d jumped his bones and snuck out before he woke, full of regrets. But what happens now they have to work a case together again?

Feel free to bring in the other characters, too, as long as Yeo Jin and Si Mok remain the focus! I love the various dynamics they have with the people around them.

Kingdom | 킹덤

Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi

Like with Si Mok and Yeo Jin above, so much of what I like about these two is that they are great characters separately - but work so well together as a team. They trust each other. He has great faith in her abilities and respects her so much. And she is loyal to him and respects him in return because she knows he’s a good man and a good leader.

I also love how the show uses both politics and horror elements, both to best advantage. It’s so well-written and compelling.

Now, I can see how this ship skirts close to my “no unbalanced power differentials in relationships” DNW, since he’s a prince, and she’s very much not royalty, so I thought I would clarify my position on this. I would most like fic set after he gives up his place in the royal family, since I think that mitigates basically all the issues. Even though I don’t think he would have intentionally abused his power over her, and Seo Bi was never particularly deferential to him, it still would have effected the relationship. Now that they are on more equal footing, there may be some lingering, residual issues surrounding this, but I feel like it’s at the level of bringing some interesting angst into the equation without feeling icky, if that makes sense.

Prompts:

Lee Chang and Seo Bi are somehow transported into modern day Korea. How will they adapt?

Both Lee Chang and Seo Bi have seen horrifying things - and they have the nightmares to prove it. How do they help each other through?

I feel like there are a million stories you could tell within the time jump at the end of the second season. Seo Bi and Lee Chang are travelling together, but no doubt keeping their mission to find the resurrection plant a secret. Are they pretending to be married? Is there anything Lee Chang has to adjust to now that he’s no longer, technically, the crown prince? How are they making money? Is Seo Bi hiring out her medicinal knowledge, while Lee Chang sells his sword? How far will they go to find the answers they seek?

The properties of the resurrection plant are still largely unknown. What horrors will they have to face next, now that another outbreak is looming? 

Lee Chang decides that Seo Bi needs formal fight training - and takes it upon himself to teach her.

What moments of levity can they find together amongst the horrors?

Lee Chang knows he shouldn’t think of Seo Bi in that way - they are colleagues, and despite everything he is still from a royal family. He needs her too much to risk everything because of his desire. But oh, how he wants her…

Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018)

Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee

So much about this movie is absolutely my jam. The action scenes, the exploration of what desperation can drive people to, the unclear loyalties that are slowly revealed. That whole sequence when they first meet and spend time together is like a distillation of so many of my favourite things. He sees her and is just instantly gone on her. And she for him. And from then on it’s just a quiet, intense longing between them. They are so aware of each other, every sense drawn towards the other. But he’s so broken, and he sees himself as more animal than man. And it’s revealed that she has equally deep wounds, too.

An argument can be made that at least some of it was an act, of course. They were both trying to deceive each other after all. But I think it’s pretty obvious that there were real feelings there, particularly because she tries to warn him that he’s walking into a trap, and he comes back to save her. Maybe even they don’t know how deep their feelings go, or the other’s feelings, but the audience knows.

And yet...I’ve seen it twice now, and the ending is still no clearer to me. Like, is he dead? It doesn’t seem like it, since both she and her brother saw him at the train station. But maybe he’s like a guardian angel now? And if he’s not dead, where did the shot come from? A hidden gun? The sniper? And most importantly of all, if he’s not dead...why aren’t they together??? Like, aren’t all the potential impediments to their relationship gone by that point?

So, I guess most of all I would like fic that makes more sense than that ending - preferably by giving them the happy ending they deserve.

Prompts:

Joong Kyung watches over Yoon Hee from the shadows - but she always knows he’s there. How can she convince him to come into the light, and back into her life?

Yoon Hee’s brother gets himself into trouble, and the only person she can turn to for help is a man she hasn’t seen in too long - Joong Kyung.

Joong Kyung now walks the line between the living and the dead, but he can’t stay away from Yoon Hee. (Paranormal/magic AU?)

Has there been too many lies between them to make a relationship work? Neither think they are worthy of the other, but when they are pulled back together (to give evidence for an official inquiry?) they can’t quite keep their distance.

Joong Kyung is on the run, and he doesn’t know who to trust - except the one woman he’s never forgotten.

Misunderstandings and lies abound between them - but what happens when they are trapped together and must wait for rescue?

If you don’t want to do a post-canon fic, how about canon divergence? What would have happened if the phone hadn’t rung in that warehouse at that moment? Might Yoon Hee have told herself that she could use her body to prove her loyalty to him? And might Joong Kyung have told himself that it couldn’t hurt to succumb - that it didn’t mean anything?

I think that’s everything. Thank you so much!

[mind-of-a-hardstan]

i’m curious; what are some of your fav fics for each member? - comet ☄️

Ohhh I like doing stuff like this. Just a little warning though, most of ‘em are probably going to be some older fics because I sadly haven’t been reading as much as I would like to and another warning is this list is probably going to be very long. Let’s get to it then :D 

Kim Namjoon

Partners by @btssmutgalore is probably my ultimate all time favourite Namjoon fic on this site. I love the way the plot moves in a non-rushed way and I absolutely LOVE how the characters are written. Who doesn’t love a shy, nerdy Joonie bean? 

Five Months by @ellieljade is a fic that I’ve read when I’ve just started on this site and it just stuck with me for some reason. The smut was *chef’s kiss* and then you pair that with bits and pieces of slipped up emotion and clear affection and you have a perfect fucking fanfic. It’s a total 180 of Partners because this one features dom Joonie with a dirty mouth ;) 

Love Bytes by @stutterfly. Clumsy cute English professor Namjoonie silently pining while all of the other guys just won’t stop MEDDLING. Seriously I love how the relationship between Y/n and the boys were written and I love the interaction between Joon and Y/n even more. 

Kim Seokjin

Candlyland by @honeymoonjin. I read this one a few days ago and LET ME TELL YOU it was fucking phenomenal. The plotline was amazing, the story itself was so creative and unique and I love how there were subtle hints to what was going on and then the BIG REVEAL in the end where you just went “how did i miss that?” And the cute relationship between Jinnie and Y/n, clearly a devoted married couple. Not to mention cute lil elf-babie bean Koo. Probably my new fav Jin fic hands down. 

My Type by @floralseokjin. Listen, every Jin fic by her is top notch, but I think this one is my favourite because it was so soft but the smut was impeccable. It features nerdy, virgin Jinnie, which was something that I haven’t seen in a Jin fic before tbh? Very sweet and cute and a favourite since I read it. 

Min Yoongi

Upgrade by @gukgalore is the ultimate Yoongi smut fic. I mean it. 

Empress by @honeymoonjin. This fic was downright GENIUS. I’ve never seen the likes of it before and it left me wanting more, goddamnit. Empress Yoonji is a fucking experience and I’m 110% sure y/n thought the same. 

Jung Hoseok 

In The Car by @floralseokjin​ is another masterpiece. Mechanic Hoseok is a fucking concept. Mechanic Hoseok who also races and is funny and HAS A MANBUN I REPEAT HE HAS A MANBUN. Yeah needless to say this fic had me on the floor. Bonus: they fuck on the hood of his car  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Park Jimin 

Sin City by @btssmutgalore should be read. By every single person. On this site. I fucking MEAN IT. 

Kim Taehyung 

Nude by @btssmutgalore was just really really cute and still smutty. I like the whole internal conflict going on and how it slowly progresses from “I done fucked up” to “eh, screw it I deserve to be happy” yaknow? 

How to Get a Girl Off 101 by @imagination-of-a-melted-bitch was a fic I read before my writing blog even existed and screw it i still love it. It features y/n and her bf Taehyung who agrees to teach clueless Jeongguk how to fuck, honestly I low key love this concept. 

Jeon Jeongguk 

For Science by @boymeetsweevil​ was… quite the fucking experience let me tell you. I binged it in a day and then reread it the next day because I felt like I needed more. It was a shitstorm of pining, hot smut, angst and just Kook being generally bad at feelings. It features the whole gang being nerdy, weird and generally funny. A fantastic read, honestly. 

Switch Lanes by @gukgalore​ was the fic that lead me to her account in the first place. I’m a sucker for healthy relationships being built on trust and friendships and then lead to lots o’ fluff and soft smut so if you are a sucker for that too then feast. 

Monster by @btssmutgalore​ was also something I started reading before my writing account even existed and I’m still foaming at the mouth over it. Seriously Dee just has a certain way of stringing words together in a way that leaves you having to physically restrain yourself from reading for 3 days straight. (I speak from experience, I’m pretty sure my mom thought I was dead when I discovered her masterlist). Monster is no exception. 

I’m going to be a bit cocky and put one of my own fics here too, because it’s my favourite fic that I’ve written and I’m very proud of it, so don’t judge me. Purple Mist & Candlelight is a Joonie witch au that features potion maker Joonie and a subtly pining y/n. I think it’s pretty good. 

Now, I also read fics on AO3 that are mostly shipfics, and I’ll be adding them too because leaving them out would be a crime because they’re some of my favourites, so here goes: 

Heard Them Talk by themarmalade is a fucking masterpiece. It features marten hybrid Joonie and bad boy, rugby player Jeongguk who is actually just a sof boi with a bunny daemon. I cannot even begin to explain the absolute adoration that I have for this fic. Dare I even say it is my ultimate favourite? (namkook)

Got a kiss (with your name on it) by marienadine is another favourite. Roommates Kookie and Tae are pining after each other and feelings come tumbling out when Kook asks Tae to teach him to kiss. The discriptions in this fanfic is impeccable and THIS is the level of writing I want to reach one day. It’s the perfect balance of funny and feelings and the way it’s written is what sets it apart from other fics. It’s truly a masterpiece. (taekook)

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter is a fic that I read the other day that features closeted bisexual Seokjinnie who doesn’t know how to deal with anything, bi, Yoongi who’s trying desperately to make a change, and somewhere along the lines they fall in love. It’s fluffy and angsty and I cried my heart out at some point. And then I cried my heart out at the end too. If you read this and you see the words “I heard you” in chapter 6, yeah that’s about where I fucking lost it and cried for like a year. (yoonjin)

Found you by Oh_Hey_Tae is a namjin witch au that just… it was so sweet? Joonie is a sad witch who finds lost things and Jinnie is a seer and it’s all just very sweet and sad a beautiful. (namjin)

Bunny Ears by goldenhearts was the CUTEST. Kookie drinks a faulty potion and spontaneously turns into a bunny every now and then. He has no choice but to go to his rival for help and most fluff I’ve ever read ensues. It’s the cutest, bestest, funniest fic I’ve read, Jinnie is unsufferable, Kookie even more so, and I loved every second of it. (jinkook)

Is It Me You’re Looking For? by MoonlitMemories was also such a good fic. I felt for Kook and I just wanted to hug him throughout the fic and Joonie is damn idiot but it’s sort of understandable and it was heart wrenching and perfect and beautiful and such a cute but sad twist on the usual soulmate au (namkook)

And I’m going to stop there because the post is getting too long. These are a few of my favourite things, most of ‘em are smut but not all. They’re all very good and written by amazing authors so enjoy!

[neoyi]

Do you think some of the knights and minor characters have family? Or are they completely alone? (You can choose any character, I don't mind ^^)

 Hmmm...

Shovel Knight: Simple man, simple answer: he has a mom and dad. He loves them very much and they love him. He visits them regularly.

Shield Knight: Probably has parents, maybe a single parent. They’d be the type to raise Shield to be a fighter, both physically and mentally.

Black Knight: He’s the kind of guy who’d have no parents, but was instead raised by an uncle or grandparents. They’d likely get him a job at their local store or in blacksmith or something. Black Knight probably has thought of what his parents were like, so he develops a thick shell over time to hide any hurt and/or loneliness of not having a traditional family structure.

This doesn’t mean he doesn’t view his uncle and/or grandparents as family he cherishes; he would die for them.

And of course, it should go without saying that he views Shovel and Shield (and they in turn) as family to him. Not necessarily familial or platonic (Shovel and Shield are most definitely totes a couple while Black probably pines for Shield), but absolutely a group who loves and protects each other. Polar Knight was among the group until their falling out.

King Knight: Canonically has a mom, but no dad. King Pridemoor doesn’t mind being King’s stepfather, but King Knight screwed the pooch on that one.

Plague Knight: I don’t think he has any relatives. He probably grew up without one and forged ahead on his own. This may, sadly, have had an impact on his self-esteem issues, though it’s done wonders for his independence and general dismay to other people and property. 

On the outside, Plague Knight probably mocks the happy-dappy nature of familial bonds and togetherness, but secretly yearns a connection. This is why for as much of an idiot Percy (and Baz) is, Plague never gets rid of him. He’d never say it out loud, but Percy is the closest person to being his best friend and he values that. He’d never view the Plague Minions other than cannon fodder, but he’d be supremely offended if they left him. And eventually Mona becomes a wonderful part of his life; he is extremely grateful.

Specter Knight: Orphan.

Personal headcanon is that his parents are immigrants from Fantasy Japan who came to Fantasy Europe with a baby Donovan. None of them lasted long and died while Donny was still a baby. Donovan grew up in an orphanage (where he didn’t even get his name until the Headmistress lazily picked one out for him when he was like, seven. Prior, he was just “Hey You!” or “Get Over Here, You Brat!”) and eventually ran away when he had enough.

Had to scrimp, steal, and fight his way to survive. Became a thief at a young age because he had nothing to him and an angry disposition to match. Hated the world and became vastly cynical.

Until he met Luan and Reize and found the family he wanted. Too bad it doesn’t last.

Treasure Knight: Orphan. If he had parents, they’re long dead. If he had siblings, he doesn’t keep contact with them. Treasure seem to be a solitary man, the type to spend hours under the ocean with nothing but the calming scenario of sea life before him. His crew are not family, they are his coworkers and he treats them as such - as is expected of a business man. 

Mole Knight: I could picture him having a big family, one that fed him well as a child. Mole Knight loves bread because they’d be freshly backed from his loved ones. It is a food he cherishes because of good memories. He goes to family reunions and keeps regularly contact with them. They don’t live nearby, so he’s kind of thankful they don’t know he joined the Order.

People are shocked at the level of affection he is capable of displaying, but family is often the only time he usually shows it off. Otherwise, he maintains as much of a professional reputation that he can - he’s a worker, after all!

Tinker Knight: Absolutely has family and can, has, and will keep in constant contact with them. He has a loving relationship with his aging parents and siblings. He has cousins and grandparents and even distant relatives he contacts and/or sends cards to. He is an amicable soul, but a quiet one who prefers his alone time, so he’d not be the one to go to many family gatherings because it’d be overwhelming for him. He picks and chooses what events to go to and largely sticks with his immediate family for meetups. But he ensures plenty of well-wishes and is always there for any family members in need.

Propeller Knight: Has a well-to-do family from a noble background.

Personal headcanon, he’s royalty, only child to the second son of the current Queen. He is surrounded by parents, cousins, grandparents, and cousins living under their numerous palaces. Privacy is hard to maintain and lesser so from paparazzi.

When he becomes a sky pirate, he is relieved to be away from them. Some were good, others were awful for his mental health. He doesn’t belong there, not the way it was going. But he still aches for the cousins he missed for they were like his siblings and they loved him. And he misses his parents who, though unable to understand his current life, would have done anything for him.

Thankfully he has Found Family, his crew. Every single member of the Flying Machine Propeller remembers their names, personalities, interests, flaws, and other misc. knick-knacks. He cares for each and every one and they in turn would die for their captain.

Polar Knight: ...has suffered great loss, including his family. He mourns them everyday...

Reize: It is canon that he has family. He was raised by two dads and currently lives with the Hedge Family. Showdown’s story mode for Reize implies the Hedge Farmer might be the “Uncle” he specifically mentions in Specter of Torment.

Baz: Seems like the type of guy who’d have like a brother who also shares his absurdity and brashness. They’d totally compete as kids and Baz’s brother’s refusal to include his bro with his gang and/or adventures is what kickstarted Baz into find a group/family to call his own. 

Maybe Baz will someday confront his brother and fight it out...then settle things with words.

Phantom Striker: If he had parents, they are probably really old or dead, as Striker is an old man. He wanders alone, so he likely does not have family he keeps in contact or if he does, it’s small. Like maybe he has a sibling or something, but that’s about it. He’d visit them on rare days when he isn’t out dispensing his particular justice; sibling would give him a warm meal and express concern for his well-being and tell him to just retire already. There might be minor arguments - the same one every time - but Striker always leaves in good terms.

Mr. Hat: ...nobody knows who or what the fuck this man even IS.

Troupple King: He has 40 bazillion troupple fish baby and his wife is probably a tree.

Pridemoor King: No wife, but totally hitting on King Knight’s mom. Has a son and daughter from a previous marriage, but neither of them wanted the throne for their own reasons. He is currently strained with his own kids, regrets the things he said, and misses them. He doesn’t want to repeat this with King Knight.

Propeller Knight totally dated Pridemoor’s daughter when they were teens much to his annoyance given his reputation as a casanova. ....Propeller then told Pridemoor he also dated his son, too. ;D

Oolong: no parents. their species asexual reproduction.

[ifeveristoday]

well, that escalated quickly

The first card of the Major Arcana, The Fool is generally a positive card indicating new beginnings. If it appears in your readings it could mean that you are on the verge of an exciting, unexpected new adventure. Your new adventure will bring you along a path which may require you to make a leap of faith but you will grow as a result of this new experience. This new adventure could be a literal new adventure, like travelling to a place you’ve never been before. The change this card can bring will usually be a welcome one. While the Fool is generally a positive card, its appearance in a reading can also indicate that you need to take the time to look before you leap. [x]

Even when reversed, the Fool is an indicator of newness; as well as the purity and open-hearted energy of a child. This is generally considered a positive card, with the caveat that it's important to take time to be sure that you are "looking where you're going." In reversal, The Fool can show that there is a need for a new beginning, but that there is some hesitancy about making it happen. [x] 

When the Fool card is reversed, you are encountering an unfinished side of yourself, a part still caught in the shadows of ignorance or immaturity. An emotional reflex or psychological attitude could be holding you back from responding authentically and naturally.

Release yourself from any dogmas or taboos so your natural truthfulness and instinct for right action can be restored. [x]

Light some incense and find a crushed velvet vest and let’s get to issue 16 of Buffy.

Spoilers, as always underneath the cut. Also long and semi-rambly so if you’re new to this tumblr...yeah. 

Short version: There’s a thing I’m not sure I like yet, the usual layer cake of THEMES and how it all ties together, and good character stuff.

Wow. So they’re really going there with Buffy and Evil! Xander. But it’s not like the comic hasn’t left crumbs of a potential -- something happening between them. Vamp! Xander’s first confrontation with Buffy was a crude sexual come-on, which she rebuffed very quickly, and then when he had his soul, there was an ambiguous hug between them in Hellmouth. Xander’s feelings about Buffy have always been pretty clear. 

And while I’m not thrilled that in the year 2020 we still can’t have a platonic relationship between Buffy and Xander (like, I joke about this being a Point to the reboot that Joss insisted on, but of course that’s just speculation. But come on. He totally would), it’s not like the comic was not giving clues, clunky though some of them may be. Buffy’s Slayer dream of Vamp! Xander and Vamp! Her, Robin’s oddly insistent interrogation of Buffy’s feelings for Xander, the dinosaur gift of Zeppo, and Buffy’s own ambivalence toward Robin as a real potential boyfriend. 

Issue 14 (which I still haven’t written a thorough post about) showcases (not explicitly written as such, but the characteristics are there) a PTSD-afflicted Buffy, who has lost both of her best friends in a matter of weeks. She’s not on good terms with her mother, Giles is still weird after his descent into magically induced MRA-ness and not exactly comforting her, and having to accept the reality of Kendra being a Slayer as well. There’s a lot of anxiety, jealousy, and survivor’s guilt thrown in there as well, and we all know Buffy’s favorite thing to do when she’s going through a lot of pain: ISOLATE HERSELF. 

And then here’s Robin, telling her he’s on her side and is a friendly face and Buffy seizes that emotional life line and decides, well if I can’t like myself (this is referenced in Issue 15), Robin will do it for me. It’s a lonely, but understandable grasp at something normal and not...the reality of her present life.

Except Robin realizes he can’t be Buffy’s emotional support almost-boyfriend, and that Buffy has a martyr complex where she can’t be just the hero but also the villain in her own story - she takes on all of the fault but none of the help and love that does exist in her life.

He tells her that one of her problems is that she just doesn’t like herself.

And it’s a hard truth for Buffy to bear but she admits it.

Issue 16 dips into Buffy’s mixed up feelings re: love and connection and the thread that ties it together is the tarot card Jenny pulls from her spread to read to Dolly, her cat.

Best reveal of the reboot so far, no I won’t take any objections. Her cat! Is named Dolly! Possibly after Dolly Parton, stealth producer of BtVS!

Jenny, lone human adult voice of Reason, pulls the upside down Fool and I’ve included three meanings of it up above. The reason why I think it’s a common thread for this issue is because in Buffy’s slayer dream where she’s riding Zeppo the Symbolism? What Symbolism Dinosaur with Xander (with some terrible punning), Buffy says that they can’t let Zeppo drive, he’s too young and doesn’t know how to get to where they’re going. Xander replies, “Do you even remember where we’re going?”

And prior to this Buffy worries that they’re going too fast and to slow down. 

This could signify a number of things - definitely new beginnings with Evil! Xander and the changed nature of his relationship to Buffy, Buffy’s personal fear that she doesn’t know what’s happening, only that it is too fast, and the fact they’re both so young. And for the moment, Xander will forever be this young. And with his reputation as being the ‘funny’ one, Xander could also be considered a Fool. 

He’s in a state of being unfinished - he’s never going to experience the trials of regular adulthood, the personal milestones a human being has. And Buffy is unfinished in that she’s not done growing up, but she is also the Slayer, which requires a level of sacrifice that other girls her age wouldn’t experience.

Jenny pulling this card - well, there’s the unfinished nature of her relationship with Giles, they’re broken up but still pining over each other, and the fact that she doesn’t seem to have stayed in touch with anyone in the Scoobies? And her only confidante seems to be her cat. Which, no judgement, cats are good listeners.

Dolly is also a good detector of Ye Olde Supernatural Bullshit, as she senses something bad behind Jenny’s all of a sudden visitor, and Hulk! Giles a few issues back.

It is of course, Xander, who is gleefully pleased that it was that easy to trick Jenny into inviting him in.

Fade into black- sort of, as the next step is Xander playing mind games via text.

Right after Buffy has her weird dinosaur dream, she tries to google meanings of it, as well as sending Willow texts in a long chain of non replied thread, updating her about what’s been happening in Sunnydale in her absence. I noticed she used a similar - “I’ll be here for you” in her message to Rose, and I think that’s Buffy’s way of changing. She wants to be there for her people, instead of avoiding them.

And she gets a text (Miss me?) from Xander, which prompts her to run to Giles and Kendra. 

This is a neat(?) reference to how Xander got catfished by Drusilla when she texted him from Buffy’s phone. God, the way this sentence sounds out of context to an TV canon fan.

ANYWAY.

Buffy states that Xander died the night the Hellmouth closed, and they had a candlelight vigil and his parents barely leave the house - which makes me think while Hank Summers is a bastard in every ‘verse, Boom! has a good dad for Robin, Joyce and Eric for Buffy, and apparently good parents for Willow and Xander as well. Yay.

Kendra, who is more objective than Buffy and Giles can be regarding Xander, theorizes that Xander’s disappearance might not be death in a final sense, but rather his soul disappearing. Which causes the question, where has his body been this whole time? Also, I see that I Robot, You Jane easter egg, Jordie.

Setting Jenny’s house on fire, that’s what. Giles gets a similarly upsetting text on his phone, and they run to her house. Buffy and Kendra immediately throw themselves into save the cat (and Jenny!) mode and run into Evil! Xander. Quite literally - Xander grabs Kendra by the neck and throws her out of the window from the second floor - don’t worry, she survives.

We can’t be fridging the POC this early, after all.

Then it’s Xander and Buffy’s first glimpse of each other since Hellmouth, and standard enemy banter ensues - Xander says it’s just them and Buffy snaps that it’s only in his dreams. Then the staircase starts cracking due to the fire’s heat and Buffy’s thisclose to falling off when Xander grabs her, and in his human mask tells her that it could just be them together, if she wants it. Buffy takes Kendra’s advice to stop feeling and just think, and kicks Xander in a jump with both her feet aimed at his chest. Also she says she’d rather die than let that happen, which...I really hope aren’t famous last words.

The fool card flutters down and lands on Buffy’s forehead, reminding her that she’s on a rescue mission for Jenny. Who is nowhere to be found, but Dolly leaps into Buffy’s arms, and she carries her out.

Giles, Kendra and Buffy reconvene at Giles’s and try to figure out why Xander targeted Jenny. 

Giles, who started the issue being a concerned mentor has grown smaller and less confident toward the end as he asks Buffy and Kendra to find Jenny. Buffy vows that they’re going to make Xander pay. Giles sadly agrees and then leaves to show Dolly the garden.

Let me pause a moment to cry about the fact that Giles is showing Jenny’s cat the garden.

Kendra and Buffy bond, sincerely, for the first time since Kendra made her appearance. Sister slayers, fuck yeah! Also, I love Kendra’s characterization and I hope she stays for a long time. And not die.

There’s a thawing there as each switch positions - Kendra tells Buffy it’s okay that she feels the way she feels, as Buffy tells her, no, she’s right, Xander isn’t the boy she knew, and to treat him like he’s just a regular vampire.

Then she admits she’s not sure if she misses Xander, or if it’s something else, to which Kendra replies, “I think when you know, you know.”

And Buffy asks her like her and Rose - and Kendra confirms it.

Just as Kendra’s words end the issue, Willow - who could be OG timeline Willow, or an Alternate Verse Willow, comes into the light and holds Rose’s hand.

DRAAAAMA.

So. Xander and Buffy heading toward something, Kendra/Rose confirmed, Giles has now adopted Dolly, Jenny’s status: Currently Unknown.

And Willow?

Though with the Fool, there’s that meaning of new adventures and travelling to a place you’ve never been before. That sums up Willow’s current journey so far.