Chuuya was a fiery person.
He learned that the only way to be truly respected was to be irritable and commanding — it worked. He was right. Being weak and folding to other people's will was not part of him anymore, he was Chuuya with a capital C and he was the untouchable executive of the Port Mafia — he didn't need anyone else, he had himself, respect, relative safety, and a stupid mackerel to kill.
Oh, and he had you.
OR
chuuya nakahara's loving written by a chuuya kinnie projecting herself into her work.
Warnings: nothing much, just chuuya's thoughts on love and himself. A dash of angst if you really think about how lonely he is...
Chuuya was a fiery person.
He learned that the only way to be truly respected was to be irritable and commanding — it worked. He was right. Being weak and folding to other people's will was not part of him anymore, he was Chuuya with a capital C and he was the untouchable executive of the Port Mafia — he didn't need anyone else, he had himself, respect, relative safety, and a stupid mackerel to kill.
Oh, and he had you.
And the untouchable executive had to rest, too.
Chuuya had his arms wrapped around you while your head laid against his chest, and his on the pillows. He was so tired, you could feel it when you were this close to him — but you could also feel he was content with just being here with you, holding you in silence.
He couldn't begin to imagine how he even got himself here. He loved you so much, he was so sure of that — you were everything to him. You understood him so deeply, sympathized with him, cared for him, been there to listen to his shitty childhood, been there when he was drunk and tired and mean. Been there through both his best and his worst.
There was a silence he couldn't fill with words. He didn't know what to do with these feelings half the time. You were just so, so precious to him. He didn't want to lose you. He couldn't lose you, it'd ruin him forever. Losing you now would be like dying.
He'd sacrifice his life for you, he'd dedicate his soul to you, and if the world was against you — then he was sending a goddamn planet out of orbit. But Chuuya knew you didn't even want that. You wanted him to love and to be loved — to be human. He never had someone like you before, you proved to him so many times you didn't want his power, or his position, or his potential. You wanted him, you liked how human he was despite of what he was. You commented on his care and loyalty and his compassion — you separated him from the other vile humans, you said he was so much more than them. You loved him without obligating him to love you in return.
You were his proof of humanity. What a joke. Did you even know what you were getting yourself into? What it meant to love someone like him — someone who was just lines of code, stuffed into skin and bones? Someone who had accepted that they couldn't be truly loved long before you? Someone who's very existence flawed them? Someone who wasn't even human? Didn't you know — or did you not care?
Chuuya sighed against you now. He could feel you were asleep in his arms. He needed to protect you, he needed to keep you close to him — you made him feel human. You were proof he could love, he could feel, he could live. That he didn't have to feel guilty for existing. He didn't have to have a purpose — he could live and laugh and love without being useful. It sounded like a fever dream to a boy who was made to be a weapon.
Chuuya started lowly humming a tune into the cold air of the room. The song was familiar — his mother had sung it to him. He could barely remember it. He definitely had a life before this. He probably had a mother, a father, old childhood friends, even siblings —
— but this was okay, too.
He couldn't believe you were here with him. He couldn't believe he had someone that could accept him. Someone who didn't just tolerate him, or use him — someone who loved him. You loved him so genuinely and deeply that you would sacrifice your happiness just like he would his own. You gave him more than respect, you gave him stability. You gave him the feeling of home he had never truly felt.
Chuuya Nakahara was a fiery person.
But he had always yearned for a gentle love.
║Ⓒ reapkusho on tumblr. 2024. all rights reserved. refrain from translating, copying, or stealing in any way, etc.
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in his delicious materials, do you have any thoughts about what chilchuck's daughters' daemons/bee's sons are like? Is puckpatti's even settled yet?
(In reference to His Delicious Materials: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56658973/chapters/144024799)
Bee’s boys - Sangwine, Pantoufle and Eglantine - gave her an absolute run for her money to raise, although given how much they worked away from home in the early years, she left most of the logistics to her wife, a mouse daemon. As a result she and Chilchuck would come home to “do some parenting while you’re here, why don’t you” and incredibly tricky and complex grievances and disciplinary problems, lots of “Bee will hear about this when she’s home!” Which didn’t set her up for much success, in retrospect.
Bee was an impatient and often angry young parent, but tried her best, made an effort to educate herself, and was exceedingly good at carrying her sons around by the scruffs of their necks, which was good - since they all all liked being absolutely unsuitable and enormous things, like ferrets, for a lot of the time in their wild youth. She wasn’t always the bad cop, but they all had very few models of Effective Parenting growing up, so she wasn’t as good then as she would be at it now.
Pantoufle’s the only one who is likely to give Bee grandchildren in her lifetime, but he’s also a little nightmare, so she doesn’t have much hope. Pan isn’t so good at the daemon’s role of “externalising the human’s voice of conscience.” He is, instead, evidence that their middle child has no conscience whatsoever. He has zero moral fiber and criminal instincts.
They are all long, long since settled.
I have no idea what forms they are, though. Literally was not planning on it ever being relevant. I am doing a 65k commission gift fic over the summer and MOVING ON, I said.
Then ended up having a conversation in the comments where it was like . Oh no. The political implications of being the only weasel daemon in your village. that could be genuinely rather funny. Oh no. What if there was a social landslide as a result of Bee settling, with large political implications swirling around, and it’s genuinely Just Some Awkward Scruffy Tall Guy And His Weasel Soul Who Are Pretty Oblivious To It All, and you turn around and suddenly your people’s daemon pool is completely changed in a generation??? Hilarious. Self-indulgent. Nothing to do with any given canon whatsoever, literally just playing in a sandbox. Someone should write that.
And then the baby didn’t sleep for a few nights in a row (oh no):
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