#been really fucking sad all night
Text
Feeling very down rn,,, so naturally I can’t stop thinking about falling into a pair of giant arms
Being held so tenderly by such a large and powerful being who only wants the best for me,,, being able to feel them everywhere, feel their pulse beneath me, hear their breath flow through their lungs, having all of these constant reminders that they’re here and they’re not going anywhere,,, I think that would be lovely :’))
#giant/tiny#gentle giant#giant tiny#g/t#gt#giant#minigiant#size shifter#sfw g/t#sfw gt#gt community#g/t community#mini giant#size difference#anyways#been really fucking sad all night#need me a giant#at least for a little while
197 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m so sorry if i seem a bit off or post less in the next week or so — i just found out my beloved 17 years old soulmate cat got diagnosed with bone cancer and he doesn’t have much time left. he lives in my family home with my parents still whilst i’m abroad so it’s double tough because i can’t be with him. i just need some time to calm down and make my peace with everything
#vic.txt#i’m just so damn sad he’s my most beloved boy i got him when i was fucking 7#we grew up together i cried with him i laughed with him he’s been my companion my number one boy for my entire life#i know it’s silly like yeah it’s a cat not a human being but we formed such a strong bond#when i had c0vid last year he lied with me all day all night#i love him i love him i’m so fucking mad at the universe he does not deserve this fate#and he’s so old the treatment isn’t really an option#he’s fine now he isn’t in pain but as soon as his cancer progresses he will have to be put down so he doesn’t suffer for nothing#i just want to be with him when that happens i want him to know he’s not alone and that i love him very much#txt#tw: animal death#tw: animal sickness
269 notes
·
View notes
Text
i miss getting all dressed up
🥀 men | minors | terfs do not fucking interact 🥀
#i have been having a really bad/weird body day so can y’all please hype me up#these pics are from almost a year ago but I looked so fucking good#someone give me a reason to get all dolled up again PLEASE#I’m talking#lavender.jpg#femme#lesbian#femme4butch#femme4stud#bodies like mine#because it is mine#and bodies like mine are fucking hot as fuck#these pictures make me a bit sad because they were taken at [redacted’s] house in nj and we had a date at the best Italian place#and the first Polaroid’s kept in my wallet are from that night#i think I’m ready to take them out though#i didn’t think I’d ever post pics from this time because it now just makes me so sad to think about and see#but I remembered how beautiful I looked#and how good I felt#and I posted them#so it means something
448 notes
·
View notes
Text
QSMP UPDATE! :)
Q!Pac is alone again! :)
#oh for fucks sake hes fucking lost everyone again jesus christ what the fuck is up with this guys luck#walter bob has been gone for months. richas is still fucking missing. he only just got mike back.#last time he saw Fit he had just watched him be kebabed by his teammates#AND NOW Mike and Fit are gone. Terminated. whatever the fuck that means#like he still has tubbo but what the fuck man#the only other brazilian is fucking cellbit who hes terrified of!! (and really fucking should be afraid of now Roier's gone)#like can my man catch a little tiny break please#ok felps is technically here and maybe Santo Felpinho is the guiding light we need#but like bruh#let pac just have his family back ALL AT THE SAME TIME FOR ONCE#qsmp#qsmp lore#qsmp pactw#pactw#qsmp purgatory#i have rambled becuase it is the middle of the night and again i am awake and sad over little block men
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
the new girl at one of my favorite bakeries called me pretty this morning and it literally melted all my stress away 🥺
#kai.rambles#i was feeling sad bc my grandma is in the hospital and when i went to visit her they wouldn’t let me pass bc my license is expired#which okay ik that’s my fault but i took my passport with me just in case and the guy straight up told me that it wasn’t a valid form of id#and im like yeah tf it is ITS A PASSPORT and he said no#and while i was waiting for my mom to come down to the lobby an old lady came in and he turned her away for the same thing#and dudeee okay you turn me away fine fuck off but an old ladyyy??? at that age they don’t pay attention to that just let her pass#and then he argued with another woman bc she brought a flower arrangement and it had water so he couldn’t allow it HELLOOO??!?#so i had to leave and went to go get breakfast for my mom at least bc she stayed the night and i was supposed to stay the day#and when i came back to give her the food she told me that the nurse that was with my grandma asked what happened bc she wasn’t expecting#my mom to return and when my mom told her she immediately got so angry bc that same guy#didn’t allow her and a couple other nurses to bring in a cake for one of the residents#who’s birthday is today and they had a full on argument this morning#so it was all in all awful and now my mom has been there for more than 20 hours until later tonight when my aunt goes over :(#anyway this turned into a whole rant im sorry but im so mad bc i know for a FACT that a passport is a valid form of id#and he was just being a fkn dick#but the girl called me pretty and it took some stress off and she really liked my blush#and i liked hers so we had a little makeup 101 exchange and it was so nice at least 🥺#and i have a couple cute asks to answer that have made my day as well so i’ll get to those in a few 🥰
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#not to be depressing in new year's eve but i feel so shit right now...#all year i've been so out of myself not enjoying anything#and what i do manage to enjoy takes up like an hour of my life and then it becomes disappointing#that's how i would describe the past few months... disappointing#everything feels flat#I can't manage to hold on to a good feeling for more than an hour or two#i have absolutely no hope for the future and I don't even care about that anymore#nothing feels worth anything anymore#and what's really solidifying that feeling today of all days#is the fact that every year since before I was born my family celebrates new years eve#a few years ago the celebrations changed since my extended family decided to cut us out a bit but my mom brother and i still celebrate#we get yummy food play fun games and just spend the night together until midnight when we toast and go to bed#well this year it's 10:30 and we're already in bed doing the same things we do every day#being on our phones or watching a movie or whatever on our own#and it's just disappointing again#idk if it's the break of the tradition or the fact that the new year doesn't feel important this time#but i feel so fucking sad and numb and depressed#i hate it#I don't even feel like saying the usual ''hope 2024 is better'' shit#i just don't care and i don't think it's gonna be better... it's gonna be the same old shit and it's gonna be disappointing#nothing matters anymore and i don't think anyone fucking cares#i feel so numb...#i don't even know what the point of this post is... sorry about that#hope y'all's new years eve is better than mine (or new year's day idk your time zones)#angel talks#personal
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
ouuhgh one of my fav artists is playing nearby in a week and im so torn. I could get tickets, theyre actually reasonably priced..but its a 3 hour drive there (then the drive back) and id be going alone and then id have to ask my mom if I could use her car...I've never been to a concert alone and have no idea how my anxiety would do. but also what if she never performs near here again 😔
#i used to go to concerts all the time before 2020 yk and havent been since 2019ish so.#id ask my sister to go with me but she literally has a parent/teacher conference thing that night and thn has to work...Sads#really the trying to drive in a big city is what is wigging me out ngl#i guess theres no reason i couldnt get a hotel if i didnt wanna drive 6 hours in one day (likely more bc atlanta is a fuck abt traffic)#i should be saving money tho aaaaaugh#would it b problematic of me to say i miss just getting men to pay for my shit like this LMAO.#sanchoyorambles
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
tbh ever since i saw a someone say that its awful to read when writers clearly arent comfortable writing smut and it show, ive been so self conscious about even trying to make anything spicier anymore
#which is extra sad when my two big wips are centered around more spicy topics#like it doesnt make me uncomfortable when its my ships really. im just bad at it#which just feels even worse i guess. idk#it wasnt even directed at me it was a general statement but idk it just made me feel very shitty and i havent been writing since#just sucks to suck i guess. but what can you do really#i was just. really excited for these wips too. and now im all defeated even trying to think about continuing them#im just sad cause writing is so fucking hard but lmao what else is new or whatever#night is an absolute mess on main#i was gonna schedule this but knowing its still in my drafts makes me more anxious so im just gonna post it and try to sleep
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
feeling like a total asshole today 👍
#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night#i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know#so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD#but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying#and i felt absolutely nothing#idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel#like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just?????#that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car)#and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow#and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago#i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back#not right now#not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week#but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go#and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now#and all i can think about is that i'm anxious#i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know#i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it#bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has#but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality#why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain#like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings#i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it#i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it#i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly#so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language)#is easier than talking in spanish#and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind#but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/#i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Having a prolonged pain flare-up is like meeting a little demon inside you that’s like, “Ye have two options! Ye take the medicine but it will only work a small amount and make you too drowsy to hold a book, or ye sit and suffer through the pain for another day! Either way, I win. No, ye can’t exercise or have caffeine, ye will make it worse.”
#dk why my little demon is speaking like a leprechaun but the mental image is so clear#i tried to write a funny post last night detailing all the very specific things i have to do before bed in order to feel moderately -#- comfortable. but the post just ended up being kind of sad and made me Realize Things about myself and my body so.#partner thinks i have fibromyalgia. i should also get tested for arthritis. who knooowwwsssss but i'm fucking 25!!!!!#i really want to get in shape and gain some muscle so i can feel strong in my body. BUT i can't exercise currently#because pain and inflamed joints mostly#hence also my creative projects have been slooooow going.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#can i be so fucking honest right now#being like the only one in my friend group who doesn't do or even want to try drugs is so fucking isolating#i don't even want to be around it but i can't fucking escape it#they're constantly getting high before or while we hang out and i'm so tired#like we planned to hang out this past weekend and of course i get there and one of them is high and all they wanted to do was sit and#quietly watch always sunny#like. thanks. i barely get to see you guys and the one night in like 3 months i do we don't even get to talk really. cool#and then their parents and parents' friends were smoking in the living room all night as well#and nobody thought to fucking warn me about this even though they know about my shit fuck brain#and then like. the other times when i've made plans with someone and they've bailed because they wanna go drink and get high#thanks i'm glad i'm so fucking boring to you#i don't get to go to a lot of get togethers anymore because they're full of drunk and/or high people#and i'm just. tired.#sick of my shitty fucking brain that doesn't let me chill#sick of feeling like i'm bringing people down and stopping them from having fun#because i don't want to spoil their fun. i want them to be happy#i just. idk. sometimes i really feel like they don't want to invite me out specifically because of this#like i miss out on so much because i have big anxiety about drugs#it's tiring and i'm tired and sad and angry at myself and. idk#today's been. a day i guess
2 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Night on the Bionis’ Shoulder.
#xcde#xenoblade#had to fucking FIGHT the xc2 lighting engine for these ones#ive definitely talked about this before. the xc2 lighting engine makes everything look like shit at night#what looks okay at night? glowy things#so i sought out glowy things#all things considered i think these turned out pretty good#but at any rate#what happened with gael gar. like what purpose did he serve#the final quest with him was just annoying to be honest like he basically asks melia to come kill him#like i didnt think he even had a reasonable point of view#which could be interesting to investigate from a position of 'he's a fanatic and isn't logical' but it isn't played like that#he just kind of exists#blows up a lab#says some weird unjustifiable shit and then leaves#melia's comebacks were not exactly that good either#anyways im sure theres more analysis to be done about that character but i just dont want to#he does not interest me and neither do his perspectives#which i think is kind of sad because there could have been some really interesting stuff about how the post-zanza world should be run#considering everything that has changed#like who put shulk and co in charge? they are mostly essentially children who grew strong enough to kill god#i feel like they could have done something really interesting with some people reasonably pushing back against the new people in charge#but instead we get 'i dont like the ancestors!' vs 'i like the ancestors!'
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#so I think ep 12 is really good - does it have problems? yes.#do I think Atom should've apologized to Boston's face properly? yes#do I think boston should've apologized to top's face properly? yes#do I think Nick's interesting choice words for his last convo with Boston were def harsh? yes#do I wish they did the fire topmew scene a bit differently to make it more poignant esp since they've been shitting on top? yes#so many things! And that's just ep 12 bc jfc if u asked me abt the other eps?...we'd be here all night#basically it's this - they are characters meant to rep early 20 something students who are so messy and flawed and reckless#will they each recognize every mistake they've ever made? noooooo bc WHY WOULD THEY??? WHEN ITS ABT THEIR PAIN!?!?#THEY ARE THINKING OF YHEMSELVES#THATS HOW IT IS SOMETIMES - I DO THE FUCKING SAME THING#it feels v much like the end of edge of seventeen where you're with a character you've bonded over for an hour and a half and realize#NO ONE is going to apologize to them - not truthfully or fully or genuinely or etc and it's sad and heartbreaking and painful#but newsflash - it happens#and don't think you've done it right all the first time and apologized rightfully - and if u did?? It's bc that person mattered to you!#these 'friends'??? while yes they are - they also are not#im fucking surprised they all stayed friends tbh bc they don't truly make sense long-run but they have that business together so let's see#let's face it - it's the friendships it's the meanings it's the labels it's the community it's the assumptions it's the lack of words#ya'll saying you want toxic but can't handle when everything is not fair#and it isn't fair! there's exec decisions there's editing decisions there's casting decisions! bruh. it was set up from the start.#editing based on audience reaction? bruh. played right into their hands#blabber time#please ignore me#not even gon put the tags bc ya'll vicious as fuck when it comes to your characters while valid I'm tbh too tired to hear abt
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
We're really in it now, boyos, but we stay silly :3
#existential crisis night i guess#been feeling like this for a while but tonight feels weird#and its not even sadness at this point#i just don't know why im here#what is the point of all this--for me--as a person#why do i wake up every morning#why do i keep doing it#like i said its not really a sadness#just thinking and reflecting#such a fucking sadsack lmfao sometimes i wonder why people even bother to stick around with my negative ass#sorry guys i really am sorry#i wish i wasn't like this either
7 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
f1nneg4n
finnigan
debreton
little miss yandere
chloeworships
The Book Of Chloé
5weekdays
yeah! still!
callmesf
SF